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airesgay · 1 year

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Feelings 101

Chapter 27: the one the morning (and days) after

Relationship: Jennifer jareau/emily prentiss

Summary: the friends au where they all work at NYU, and Emily and JJ find themselves reconnecting after 17 years. There are also mixtapes.

Chapter summary: The morning after the night before, Emily and JJ bask in a moment of peace. And continue to do so, as long as their little bubble remains.

Chapter word count: 6, 837

Songs:

Just Like Heaven - Piano Dreams (The Cure cover)

Landslide (Arr. for piano) - Christopher Somas (Fleetwood Mac cover) *I hope this part didn't feel out of place, it was hard to find the best moment for it, but it was important for me to make it fit.

read it on ao3

It was still dark when Emily woke up - which was very disconcerting; because on checking the bedside clock it wasn’t the middle of the night, the clear green digits denoting 6.07am. But was she exhausted.

Or was she? No, Emily’s body felt heavy and languid in a way that she wasn’t sure it had ever felt, in a way that was pleasant.

Her mind felt foggy for a few moments as she tried to blink away the last remnants of sleep, but on anticipating her usual headache she was left with… nothing. Her head was clear, and calm. Everything was still. Peaceful. Content.

It all made sense when Emily turned over to see JJ laying beside her, on her front, sheet falling at the small of her back to display strong shoulders, golden hair a mess over it, her arms folded under the pillow her head rested on. Her breathing was soft and shallow, eyes closed but the smallest of smiles gracing her lips, like she was lost in the most wonderful dream.

Emily had her own smile, heart threatening to break out of her chest as she leaned forward to place the gentlest kiss on her forehead. She decided JJ could live in that dream a little while longer.

* * *

JJ was awoken by the distant sounds of clattering pans and muffled swearing. This was more familiar than the grey sheets she found herself blinking down at. The material became less blurry with each blink, and a gentle touch confirmed that it was indeed silk. A smile pulled at JJ’s lip as she continued to trace along the fabric, memories of last night rushing back to her.

She remembered the feel of the sheets beneath her skin as Emily had pulled her down onto them, laughing into her neck. She remembered any thoughts of the sheets then evaporating as Emily pulled her jumper over her head, and JJ’s hands mapped newly exposed skin, softer than any silk sheets. Her eyes had followed the path of her hand, watching as goose bumps rose along her arms, her collarbone, her chest. And then her gaze returned to deep brown eyes, stricken by the hesitancy in them. She instantly retreated.

“Hey,” she’d said, voice barely above a whisper. “Are you okay? We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

The rush in which Emily’s response tumbled out was achingly sweet.

“I want to,” she insisted, and seemed to inwardly curse herself when she realised the desperation in them. “I’m ready, it’s just…”

JJ frowned and shifted closer, her still jean-clad thighs brushing against Emily’s. “What is it?”

Emily had looked uncertain still, but a squeeze of JJ’s hand seemed to give her the courage she needed. Or maybe it was more of a reminder, that the person she was with wasn’t just anyone, wasn’t even a perfectly nice woman that she enjoyed the company of and wanted so much to like.

This was JJ. Who was looking at her with the kind of affection she’d long since dared to dream of. She knew in that moment she could tell JJ anything. Everything.

And maybe one day she would.

“I’ve… there are some… scars, from the accident, in Italy.”

And JJ nodded, taking in her words, and her thumb continued to smooth over the front of Emily’s hand.

“Okay.”

Emily’s face crumpled into a smile of such relief and joy, tears started to brim at her eyes. And with another nod of confirmation, JJ unbuttoned Emily’s jeans, drew them down over her legs. Emily’s breath caught as gentle fingers traced over the scars across her stomach, smoothing over them.

And then JJ looked back up at her, and said she was beautiful, and they fell into one another completely.

Cherishing the memory, JJ let the smile tugging at her lips grow, until it felt like her face would break.

Another stream of expletives from beyond the door brought JJ back to the present. She didn’t let her smile drop as she all but flung the covers off, threw on the first thing in reach, and padded through to the hall.

There she found Emily, running one hand under cold water while the other swatted Sergio away from the frying pan - that which currently housed a collection of questionably shaped pancakes.

“If you burn your tongue off I’m not paying for the vet bill!” she hissed at the cat, who just sent her an unfazed look, as if to say yeah right.

He was just dipping his head lower towards one of the better shaped pancakes when he somehow sensed JJ’s presence in the doorway. He cocked his head, letting the paw that had been approaching the pan drop. JJ put a finger to her lips, requesting his silence as she tiptoed forward.

Emily was still muttering away to herself in frustration, washing her hands of pancake mixture. She froze instantly when she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her waist.

“Morning,” JJ smiled into her neck, almost able to feel the goose bumps that rose in response.

“You’re not meant to be up yet,” Emily sighed, with a hint of irritation, but unable to hide the delight she felt whenever JJ was close.

JJ laughed. “Oh well my apologies. Shall I just go back?”

She lingered, breath ghosting over Emily’s neck and across her shoulder, the black robe she was wearing easily slipping down to expose it. She didn’t last long with her teasing, leaning down to kiss the skin there. Emily’s entire body seemed to flush in response, including her cheeks, which JJ moved up to kiss next.

“No…” Emily let out, presumably because she was unable to say much else.

JJ smirked, feeling triumphant as she finally leaned back - but not before one final squeeze of the older woman’s hips.

“What’s all this then?” she asked, hopping up onto the counter beside her.

She’d thrown on a pair of Emily’s plaid pyjama shorts and her old Colombia hoodie. Emily seemed lost in a trance as she let her eyes run over her.

“What?” JJ queried, perfectly aware of the effect she was having.

Emily blinked and snapped out of her daze.

“I wouldn’t let anyone at work see you wearing that,” she retorted, trying to regain some resemblance of composure.

JJ laughed, looking down at the hoodie. “It’s your hoodie,” she pointed out.

“Yeah, because I went there. Besides, I don’t advertise the fact that I went to our rival school. Learned that in a hurry after our first football game.”

JJ snorted. “Got it.”

A coy smile crept onto her face as she leaned back further, kicking her bare legs out and watching the way Emily’s eyes followed.

“Well don’t worry, I don’t plan on letting anyone else see me in this.”

Her eyes somehow called Emily back, their gazes meeting. Just after they did, JJ’s eyes drifted down to her lips.

“Just you,” she added.

Emily looked breathless, and once again JJ felt victorious. Before she could catch it again, JJ nodded towards the pan still sizzling on the hob.

“So… what you cooking?”

Emily returned, looking dazed. She grimaced as she looked back at the pan.

“Trying to make pancakes.”

JJ smiled. “That’s so sweet.”

JJ hopped down off the counter and made her way towards the hob. She leaned in, experimentally dipping her finger into the bowl of mixture beside it. She took her time sucking off the sweetness from her forefinger, watching Emily go slack jawed yet again.

“All this for me?” JJ asked, voice all too sweet for what the words implied.

Whatever breaking point Emily had, JJ seemed to have found it, Emily letting out a breathy laugh and a “come here,” which JJ happily obeyed. Emily reached out as she stepped towards her, catching her hand and drawing her in. JJ’s eyes fluttered up at her, and Emily took a moment to take her in. She felt her heart swell, as she tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, letting her hand linger after, cupping her cheek.

“What?” JJ asked, smile curving her lip.

Emily didn’t hesitate before answering.

“I just can’t believe you’re real. That this is real.”

She let her hand trail down JJ’s arm, sending shivers along her skin, until she laced their hands together.

JJ smiled down at them, and back up to meet her eyes. “You want me to pinch you? So you’re sure it’s not a dream?”

A hearty laugh escaped Emily’s lips as she clasped her hands behind JJ’s back, tugging her closer. “You’re insatiable.”

JJ’s eyes gleamed, her breath hot on Emily’s face. “Only for you.”

Emily finally leaned in and captured her lips, both of them melting into the kiss like it was the only place they wanted to be. Emily’s hand trailed up to the back of JJ’s head, grasping her hair and pulling her closer still. JJ followed willingly, surging forward with so much force Emily found herself stumbling backwards. They laughed into each other as Emily’s back connected with the cabinets, JJ falling into her. Neither woman was concerned with stopping, and JJ was one step away from pushing Emily back onto the counter and climbing into her lap when a meow broke them apart.

“Sergio, I swear - ”

Emily’s scolding was cut short when she saw Sergio was sitting beside the hob - where the pancake mix was sizzling out of control.

“Fuck.”

JJ felt a flutter at how, even in a panic, Emily was so gentle in the way she drew her back with hands on her hips.

“Well that was a disaster,” Emily grumbled, shifting the burnt mixture around in the pan.

JJ watched her with a fond smile. “Don’t say that.”

Emily laughed, and beckoned JJ over to see. “Look.”

JJ leaned in, frowning down at the mess of singed shapes in the pan.

“You made a love heart,” she decided, beaming up at Emily.

Emily breathed out a laugh, and leaned down to set a kiss atop JJ’s head.

“You’re very sweet, but a terrible liar.”

JJ just smiled, and reached across the counter for the spatula. Emily raised a brow as she proceeded to scrape the malformed pancake off the pan, and deposited it in her mouth. She did well to keep the smile on her face as she chewed through the charred mixture.

“Perfect,” she relayed after, though a grimace surfaced as she swallowed.

Emily laughed, but a part of her couldn’t help but marvel at the idea; that JJ was willing to accept Emily’s beaten and damaged heart no matter what fires it had endured.

As sweet as JJ’s gesture was, they opted to respectfully dispose of the rest of the burnt pancakes, Emily pouring herself a bowl of Lucky Charms, and JJ cutting slices of banana onto some toast. Emily smiled as she watched her, wondering if she should get some more healthy breakfast options in for next time. The thought of a next time made her heart leap.

The sun had not long risen, a pink tinge still gracing the sky as the city began to rouse. Both women would have loved nothing more than to revel in it, this almost impossible feeling of bliss they found in each other, of starting their day well and truly together with no restrictions. If it wasn’t for having to get back to the apartment, where Penelope would soon be waking, JJ was tempted to take another day off work. And Emily would have been powerless to stop her.

Still, they were adults, and had responsibilities to attend to; these were the facts that Emily reminded herself of as she walked back out into the hall after her shower, toweling off her hair. Well, it had ended up being a shared shower, but JJ had left first to dry off her hair.

Emily found her now sitting at the piano bathed in golden light as the sun continued to rise. Her hands tapped lightly at the keys, and Emily realised what she was trying to play.

JJ didn’t even flinch when Emily drew her hair back over her shoulder, placing a gentle kiss at her neck – like she’d already sensed her presence.

She watched as Emily then took a seat next to her.

“You were almost there,” Emily noted, nodding down to the keys.

JJ just smiled, shifting closer to rest her head against Emily’s shoulder.

“This is definitely an upgrade from the last time I woke up here,” JJ murmured, recalling the morning after Emily’s nightmare.

Emily had a small smile. “Yeah.”

She didn’t voice how it’d be an upgrade still, to wake up in JJ’s arms and be able to stay there, without anything calling them away. Something told her JJ was thinking the same thing, but she just leaned further into her.

“Play it for me one more time?” she asked.

And Emily wasn’t going to refuse.

* * *

“I hear someone got lucky last night.”

Tara had a sly smile on her face as she approached their table, setting her tray down.

JJ nearly choked on her tea. “W-what?”

Tara quirked a brow. “Your roommate? I caught her falling asleep at her post this morning. Looked like she’d been dragged in backwards off the side of a subway car.”

JJ gave what she hoped didn’t sound too much like a relieved laugh. “Isn’t that a vivid image.”

Tara took a sip from her coffee before continuing. “Didn’t you see her this morning?”

The cold weather had called them inside for lunch, and JJ found herself longing for fresh air, something about the space inside making her feel cornered. She plastered on a smile, summoning what she hoped was a casual sounding laugh.

“No, I left before she got up. Didn’t want to wake her.”

This was technically not a lie. JJ had made it back from Emily’s just in time to get changed for work before Penelope rolled out of bed. The only way she knew she was home was the sound of snoring emitting from her room. God knows what time she’d gotten home at; but at least it allowed JJ to pretend she’d been home all night, tucked up in her own bed, not wrapped up in someone else’s sheets.

“Well, it’s a miracle she made it out of bed without you having to drag her.”

JJ nodded along, smiling as she picked at her salad.

“She can’t keep up this rouse forever.” Tara shook her head. “I’ll get the sordid details out of her in no time. Anyway, how’s Emily?”

JJ started choking on a tomato.

“Wow, you okay?”

Tara reached over to thwack her on the back, JJ coughing as the tomato eventually fell out her mouth.

“Fine,” JJ croaked out, “Just eating too fast.”

Tara leaned back, but held a cautious gaze on her. “We don’t need you choking on your salad the day after you’re back. So, Emily? Is she feeling better too?”

JJ attempted to straighten herself up in her seat, smoothing down her dress pants. “Yeah, just some little bug. All fine now.”

“Well thank god for that. I’m surprised I didn’t catch it, after faking food poisoning to get out of covering McCarthy’s class. Must have good karma.”

JJ laughed uneasily. “Yeah, you must.”

JJ, as it turned out, did not have good karma.

* * *

Emily followed the sounds of coughing and sneezing, pausing for a second before letting the door creak open.

“JJ?”

She was presented with the image of a tissue-strewn desk, from which a sneeze came a moment later. A handful of tissues then went flying into the air as a blonde head snapped up. JJ’s eyes were red and puffy - to match her nose - and her whole face seemed to leak when she managed a weak smile.

“Hey, did you bring me lunch?”

Her voice was rough and made Emily want to chug a pint of water herself.

“No,” she replied, cautious, as she took a step inside and closed the door.

“Oh,” JJ deflated further, if that were possible. “Well that’s okay, I’ll be down in a second, I just need to - ”

A horrendous sneeze tore through the air, and JJ took a moment to get her bearings. Emily gave a small smile as she approached the desk. She reached out and placed her hand over JJ’s, which was drifting back to her laptop. Emily slowly closed the lid, rubbing her thumb gently over JJ’s hand.

“How about I take you home instead?”

JJ offered her a fond smile, squeezing her hand back. “I appreciate the concern, but I’m fine, and I have three more students to see this afternoon, I can’t just leave them.”

“I’m sure they can hold off until tomorrow. And I’m sure they’ll appreciate not being sneezed on.”

“I won’t - ” Whatever JJ’s argument was going to be, it was cut short by a swift sneeze.

Emily arched a brow.

JJ smiled up at her. “Are you going to make me soup?”

Emily shook her head as she rounded the desk. “No, don’t worry, I’ll pick some up at the store.”

A croaky laugh bubbled up and out of JJ. Emily gently pulled her away even as she tried to collect a series of files.

“Hey, no work for you. Come on, I’m taking you home.”

“Just let me - ”

“JJ,” Emily said, voice stern yet soft as she tipped her chin up to face her. “Let me take care of you, please?”

JJ tilted her head to meet her eyes. “Tomato with chili flakes?”

Emily smiled, pulling JJ towards her.

* * *

“When you said you were going to take care of me, this wasn’t what I was expecting.”

“I’m trying really hard not to yell at a sick person right now, so I would watch it.”

JJ laughed, which soon turned into a coughing fit. And Emily, who had been cleaning spilled tomato soup with chili flakes off the floor, still rushed over to hand her a glass of water.

JJ gave a relieved sigh as she swallowed. “I’m sorry. I’m very grateful to have you here looking after me.”

Emily couldn’t resist granting her a smile. “I’m very glad to be here looking after you.”

She placed a kiss on her cheek before leaning back and readjusting the blanket across her body. She’d had a fever, but still reached for the blanket when Emily had led her to the couch once they’d arrived. Emily had let her, and moved to crack open the window. She could see the goose bumps rise across her arms as the chill seeped in, but JJ’s face relaxed, and she felt the chill lessen.

When she looked back over she saw JJ’s chin tucked down towards her chest, concentrating on something below her. It took a moment for her to figure out what she was doing.

“JJ,” she said.

“What?” The woman jolted and her head snapped back up, feigning innocence.

Emily cocked a brow. “You’re not sending emails are you?”

“….No.”

Emily sighed, with a smile, as she approached the couch. She held out her hand.

“Phone,” she requested.

JJ protested. “I just have one more to send, I need to let Dana know that - ”

“I’m sure whatever it is can wait until tomorrow,” Emily assured, “The office knows you’re out, they can handle anything until then.”

JJ leveled her with the hardest stare she could manage, but it was hindered somewhat by bleary eyes and a runny nose. A second later she retrieved her phone from beneath the blanket and handed it over.

“Thank you,” Emily said, “Now, is there anything else you need?”

JJ grumbled, trying to get herself comfortable on the couch.

“Tea?” Emily tried.

JJ shook her head. She was facing the inside of the couch now. Her words were muffled when she spoke.

“What?”

“I want you to play for me.”

Emily laughed. “Well that’s gonna be hard here, you have a piano hiding somewhere?”

JJ slowly rolled over to face her.

“I’m sure some cat cuddles would make me feel better too.”

She was one step away from batting her eyelashes.

Emily huffed. “I can give you cuddles.”

JJ snorted, but Emily didn’t pull away when she reached for her hand.

“I want to hear you play.”

Emily sighed. She wondered if there’d ever come a day where she could say no to JJ.

* * *

It was true that JJ wanted Emily to play the piano for her. But what she didn’t admit was that, over the course of the past few weeks, Emily’s apartment had started to feel more and more like home – almost more so than her own apartment. Any observer could see that purely in terms of aesthetic.

This seemed ludicrous; JJ’s apartment held far more colour and warmth, practically the epitome of coziness, while Emily’s remained rather stark and monochrome. Still, in the weeks JJ had been spending there, a small shift had started to occur; splashes of colour where JJ had left behind a jumper or a scarf, an array of herbal teas now stocked in the kitchen cabinet, an assortment of pink and blue creams and lotions. Neither woman raised attention to this occurrence, both happy to let things play out at their natural course. It was also true that they were scared to tempt fate, like giving it a name would cut the dream short.

“Favourite city?”

Emily pursed her lips as she pondered this.

“Well that really depends on what you’re in the mood for.”

JJ rolled her eyes. Only Emily Prentiss would have a city for every mood.

“Examples?”

Emily raised her gaze to the ceiling as she reached for the freshly boiled kettle.

“Prague for architecture, Rome for food, Vienna for music, Paris for Art - ”

JJ cut her off before the list could continue. “I always wanted to go to Paris.”

Emily looked over her shoulder as she poured, steam curling into the air. JJ was tucked under her own aquamarine blanket on Emily’s couch, a far off look on her face. Emily had a fond smile as she turned back to their drinks. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that JJ’s mug of choice at her apartment was always the Paris one.

“Yeah?” She sensed there was more to the statement, something lingering behind JJ’s eyes.

She set to finish making their drinks, letting a silence settle, giving JJ the space to talk - or not. When she returned to sit beside her on the couch, placing their mugs on the coffee table, JJ shifted, pulling her blanket closer to her chin, as if for comfort.

Emily sipped at her coffee, ready to listen.

“We always said we’d go together,” JJ recalled. She caught herself, laughing lightly. “Well – I said we’d go together. I don’t think Roz was so keen to go on a European vacation with her little sister.”

Emily’s face softened as she watched JJ reminisce about her older sister.

“I don’t blame her honestly,” JJ continued, “I wouldn’t shut up about it, all the galleries we’d visit, shops we’d go to, although if I remember correctly it was mostly about the food.”

“The frog’s legs are to die for,” Emily mused.

JJ scoffed, nudging her legs underneath the blanket and knocking over Emily’s French poetry book. She went quiet again for a moment, thinking.

“The funny thing is, it was Roz that got me so mad about it in the first place. She was an amazing artist, but she didn’t show off about it. The opposite actually - I just found this huge battered folder with all these stunning drawings in them. I didn’t even realise they were by her at first, until she walked in and started screaming.”

JJ laughed at the memory. “The Eiffel tower one was my favourite. The detail on it was amazing, even though she’d never seen it in person.”

Her smile faded a little then. “I swore I could see her smile sometimes, when I talked about us going together, as much as she tried to hide it. I think she would have loved it.”

No more words were said after that, JJ leaning into Emily and letting her eyes close as she pulled her closer. She was only half aware of the sound of Emily’s voice as she fell asleep, soft French syllables merging together as she drifted off.

* * *

JJ thought she was still dreaming when she stirred to the sound of delicate piano.

A few notes later she recognised it as Landslide. She shifted higher up the couch, staring at the piano across from her and marveling at the woman playing. How was it possible Emily could know that song reminded her of her sister? Or was it just a coincidence? JJ was starting to think nothing about Emily was coincidence.

Emily turned, sensing JJ’s wakefulness. She merely smiled, and padded towards the kitchen.

“That song - ” JJ started, voice catching in her throat.

“ – was on your Walkman,” Emily finished.

No more words needed to be said. It seemed Emily knew her even better than she’d realised.

“More tea?” Emily asked, already reaching for the Paris mug.

JJ nodded, in something of a daze. Emily got to work, letting her eyes linger on the mug denoting the multiple famous Paris monuments.

“I got this mug when I took the first trip on my own to Paris,” she said, feeling the time was appropriate to speak of her own experiences now. She hesitated before her next words. “I’d love to go again some day. I always thought it would be better with someone to share it with.”

There was no reply, and she chided herself as she finished making the tea. Yet, when she returned to the couch and handed JJ the mug, she was met with an unreserved beaming smile.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

* * *

Derek Morgan was not a man who worried. Maybe at times he got slightly concerned about something, or troubled, but never did he worry.

This was a fact seriously called into question by the way he was currently pacing up and down Emily’s office. She remained seated, watching him turn at each end of what wasn’t that large a room, one eyebrow cocked.

“Would you like some tea?” she offered once he’d made his seventh circuit.

Derek scoffed, the anxiety momentarily eased.

Emily raised her hands. “Hey, I prefer coffee too, but I really don’t think that’s what you need right now.”

Honestly, she wasn’t sure he could be more amped up than he already was. She’d never seem him like this before, it was unnerving. Grouchy yes, ruffled, but never full blown panicked. It was the kind of panicked you only see in parents – or as it turned out, caring uncles. Christ, she was glad he’d never found out about Halloween.

“So that’s a no to the tea?”

She was met with no reply, only more pacing. She sighed, finally rising from her chair.

“Derek, please sit down.”

He continued to pace, muttering to himself. Emily thought she caught the words drugs and pregnant.

And she’d been worried he was blowing things out of proportion - too late apparently.

“Derek, sit down. You said you wanted to talk about Kayla and I can’t talk to you when you’re pacing like that. It’s making me jumpy.”

Derek let out a laugh, leaning his head back. “You’re treating me like an over-reactive parent.”

Emily raised a brow. “Isn’t that what you are right now?”

Derek conceded, pulling out the chair opposite Emily.

“For the record,” Emily said, “I’m nicer to my student’s parents. As difficult as it is.”

Derek had another laugh, seeming to relax a bit. “You had run-ins with Oliver Peter’s old man yet?”

Emily groaned. “You do not know how close I got to pushing him out that window.”

They both laughed, the sound easing more of the tension from the room. Emily let it settle before continuing.

“So, Kayla.”

Derek nodded, shifting up in his seat. “Yeah, I’m worried about her.”

“Clearly.”

If he was less worried he might have rolled his eyes. But all that came was a weary sigh. It made Emily feel a pang of guilt. God, he really was a good uncle. It almost made her annoyed.

“She’s just not been herself,” Derek sighed. “At first I thought she was just blowing me off, you know, college girl doesn’t wanna hang out with her uncle, which I understood okay, I wasn’t offended.”

Emily gave him a look.

“Okay, maybe I was a little, but I get it, I really do. She needs her space.”

He sighed again, running a hand over his head. Emily was almost glad there wasn’t any hair there for him to pull on.

“But then I found out she was missing practices. I swung by to see how her and the girls were doing, you know, maybe give them a pep talk– as much as I don’t care for basketball - but her captain told me she’d missed the last three. And I know she’s been missing classes too, which okay, is what college kids do, but not Kayla.”

Emily nodded. She had noticed the empty seat in her lectures the past couple of weeks. She’d tried not to pry, it wasn’t unusual, but now Derek was here, clearly concerned.

“I thought she was sick,” Derek went on, “So I went to her dorm but she wouldn’t even let me in.” He sighed in frustration, voice taking on a rougher tone. “She didn’t sound good though.”

“In what way?” Emily asked, curious and also on the edge of worry.

Derek dropped his head from the ceiling to meet her eyes, a resigned expression taking place. “She sounded upset.”

Emily nodded. “Ah.”

If only she was sick. Food poisoning or the flu - albeit unpleasant - was a great deal easier to handle than an upset teenage girl. It could stem from any number of things, most lacking quick fix solutions. Emily had said she felt herself regressing into her teenage years these past few months; she wouldn’t wish it on anyone – not the bad stuff anyway.

“I just want to know what’s wrong,” Derek pleaded, “And to fix it.”

Emily gave him a sympathetic smile. “That’s the thing, you can’t just punch problems away.”

Derek huffed. “I can if some guy’s hurt her.”

Emily held up her hands. “If that’s the case you’ll hear no complaints from me.”

Derek allowed himself a small smile as he settled back in his chair. He fixed Emily with a contemplative stare. It made her twitch in her seat.

“You haven’t noticed anything then?” he asked.

Emily blinked. “Um, not any more than you’ve just told me, sorry.” She paused, thinking. “She was out of sorts for a spell before the Christmas break, but that passed. Definitely nothing to worry about.”

Derek nodded, processing this information, mind racing as if he could connect the dots between the two scenarios. Beneath all that muscle was a real deep thinker. Emily was sure in another life he would have made a great detective.

“So she hasn’t said anything to you?”

Emily balked. “To me?”

“Yeah,” Derek pressed, like it wasn’t a ludicrous question.

Emily frowned. “You think Kayla would come to me for help?”

Derek’s face showed no sign of mocking. “Yeah, I do. Emily, she thinks you’re like, the coolest person in the world. Or at this university anyway.”

Emily was too stunned to even try to take offence at the additional comment. She leaned back in her chair, and despite her best efforts a smile twitched at her lips.

“She hasn’t said anything to me Derek, I assure you.”

“Okay,” he breathed, both relieved and disappointed, “but you’ll tell me if she does?”

Emily nodded. “I promise.”

* * *

February drifted into March without much notice – similar to how JJ and Penelope drifted past each other in and out their apartment, both too concerned with their own half-assed excuses to question the other.

Well, JJ was pretty sure she knew what Penelope was trying to hide. She just didn’t voice it, lest she draw attention to her own little secret. Penelope was getting lazy with her excuses; just last week she’d shouted through that she was ‘just popping out for milk’ – to not return for three hours. She’d claimed she’d run into an old friend at the store and just couldn’t pass up on a coffee. JJ couldn’t help teasing her, prodding for more information about this friend. Honestly she was impressed with her commitment.

Still, she couldn’t lie; it got harder and harder each time she left, not to proudly declare where she would be spending her evening. ‘Theatre’ nights were the easiest, Penelope making a habit of staying out pretty much all night, so JJ didn’t have to worry about getting away in a hurry. That was also getting harder every time, to leave.

She wondered if one day she just wouldn’t, answer Penelope’s inevitable frazzled phone-call demanding to know where she was with, ‘Oh, I’m just taking a bath with Emily. Actually that reminds me, we’re out of bubble bath. Can you get some? I don’t want to get up, thanks.’

Everyone pretty much knew what was going on with Penelope. Which made it all the more surprising when she turned up with Luke that Saturday at the youth centre. He hadn’t made an appearance since their probable relationship (by this point that’s what JJ was calling it) was guessed to have begun.

“Pen say anything to you about this?” JJ asked Tara as they hung back by the coffee machine, staring wide-eyed as the non-couple waltzed in.

Tara shook her head as she poured some coffee into her mug, the liquid nearly overflowing with her attention locked on the sight in front of her.

“Not a word, I figured she’d come to you first.”

JJ frowned, accepting the jug from Tara when she was finished. Today was a coffee day. She was still recovering from the… lack of sleep from Thursday night. She just hoped she looked more awake than she felt.

“Do you think they ended things?” Tara suggested, watching their movements with an eagle eye.

Luke pulled a seat out for Penelope and she nearly forgot to chasten him, sending a glare his way as an afterthought, cheeks burning. Luke just smiled, unquestionably fond.

“I’m gonna say no,” JJ replied.

Tara snorted. “God, they’re really not hiding it well. What do you think this is? A test?”

“What?”

“A test,” Tara repeated, voice lower, even though the two of them were far too wrapped up in each other to take notice. “To see if they can be together in public without raising suspicion.”

“Hmm,” JJ mused, watching them still.

“D-minus,” Matt called, passing by with a box of donuts.

* * *

“What do you think you’d give us, in a test?”

Emily frowned. “We’re taking a test? What?”

JJ laughed, finding the crease between Emily’s brows incredibly cute. “It’s just something Tara was talking about today, that Pen and Luke - ”

She cut herself off abruptly, throwing her head over her shoulder to check the people in question weren’t present. She relaxed when she spotted them still huddled outside with the others on the fire escape.

It was a cold night for early March. Everyone was bundled up close together for warmth, all grumbling about their discomfort but nobody making a move to leave. It was sweet really; that was the power of Spencer’s beaming smile and childlike glee.

He’d been gushing about this meteor shower for months, most of which had fallen on deaf ears, and at best, humoring smiles. But when it came down to it they all showed up, grumbling and teasing but resigned to their situation. Like any family really.

Penelope and Luke must not have had the greatest faith in themselves tonight, opting to sit at opposite ends of the huddle. Penelope was snuggled into Tara’s side with a pair of pink fluffy earmuffs, a blanket wrapped around them both, while Luke was trying his best not to sneak adoring glances from afar, nodding distractedly to Spencer every now and again. Clooney jumped up from Derek’s lap whenever he deemed it was time for another treat for staying out in the cold for so long – which seemed to be every five seconds.

Spencer himself hadn’t settled down the whole evening, committed to his spot dangerously close to the ledge, binoculars glued to his eyes. The rings left whenever he drew them back caused much hilarity from the group – another incentive to stay out in the cold.

Though they wouldn’t admit it in their freezing state, the group may not have seen any meteors - hardly any stars at that given the light pollution of the city - but the sparkle in Spencer’s eyes as he clung to hope, searching the sky with zeal, was something to wonder at. That kind of passion was something rare, and they all hoped, as cruel as this world could be, that he’d never lose it.

“I wish they’d just cut the crap and come out.”

JJ blinked, turning back to Emily who was dropping mini marshmallows one by one into seven mugs. She bit back a smile when she noticed her own mug overflow with just that bit more than the others.

JJ raised her brows as she took a careful step towards her. “Hypocrite much?”

She received a relenting look in return while Emily wiped off extra cream from the teaspoon.

“Okay, I guess I can understand wanting a bit of space.”

She turned to hand JJ her mug, steam fighting to curl through the heaps of cream and marshmallows. JJ smiled, and was about to take the offered drink when Emily stopped her.

“Wait,” she cut in, leaning down and softly blowing over the top of it. ��It’s hot.”

JJ breathed out a laugh at the display. “I don’t think that does anything with the mountain of additions you’ve made to it.”

Emily shrugged before offering the mug. “I’m allowed to play favourites.”

JJ bit her lip, warmth starting to flush her cheeks. “I’m your favourite?”

Emily looked at her as if she’d hit her head. “If you’re still not clear on that after what we did last night then I don’t know what to tell you.”

JJ reached forward to nudge her shoulder, hot chocolate nearly spilling everywhere. Once their giddy smiles calmed, JJ’s hand drifted to the mug, fingers resting over Emily’s. She didn’t want to break away from the moment, not even for the second it would take to check nobody was watching.

“Oh things are definitely clear,” she replied, voice no more than a rough whisper.

She could tell from the look in Emily’s eyes that she was one step away from throwing caution to the wind, sure she would see the same fervor reflected back in her own - when a voice snapped them back.

“I think I see it! Emily, JJ, come on!”

“Don’t bother, it’s a plane.”

“Nah, that’s a bird.”

“I think it’s a balloon.”

“Penelope, I told you to put your glasses back on!”

JJ met Emily’s eyes again, the hunger still lingering.

“Keep me warm out there?”

Emily laughed. “If you think you can keep your hands to yourself.”

JJ’s eyes glinted in a way that said we’ll see, before she helped Emily collect the rest of the mugs.

As cold as it was, it was turning into a beautiful night; Emily thought she could spot four, possibly five stars? Which was more than usual across a New York skyline. Mostly, as always, it was the company that made the night.

She also couldn’t help her mind from drifting back to memories of another night on this fire escape, both not that far and also a lifetime ago. When still reeling from their newfound connection, JJ and her had returned each other’s Walkmans, finally after all those years. Emily had felt a pang of sorrow in the act, like it was an ending she wasn’t ready for. Never would she have dreamed of the beginning it had marked – and the end, she hoped, was far from near.

“B-plus,” Emily murmured, as they settled down between Derek and Tara, low enough that the others couldn’t hear.

A coy smile curved JJ’s lips, and ever so subtly, she reached her hand underneath the blanket they both shared. JJ’s fingertips brushed her skin, and Emily didn’t hesitate to grasp her hand into her own, holding on with everything she had.

If either felt a pair of eyes on them in that moment, they pretended not to notice.

#feelings 101 #jemily #criminal minds #Jennifer Jareau #emily prentiss #mine #fanfiction #fic #heeeey

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