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brokebonewritings · 2 months

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Be Mine, Forever?

Matt Murdock x Reader

Tags/ Warnings: 18+, Smut, Fluff, Valentine's Day Special

Summary: Your day is interrupted by an impromptu girl's day. and your night is filled with passion as Matt surprises you for Valentine's Day. You had a surprise for him as well. Song: Here (In Your Arms) - First Dance by Hellogoodbye

Word Count: 4.4K

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The day started normally enough. Of course, Valentine’s day fell on a week day this year so you were stuck at work. You sent Matt a few ‘Good Morning’ and ‘Happy Valentine's Day’ texts, but it's been radio silence from the other end. This was expected though, since he had already informed you that he was going to be in court all day.

You sit back at your desk, you've been preparing all month for a new exhibit at The Met. The plans that spread across your desk puzzle you as you try to figure out where to place each case and art piece.

As you meticulously arrange the plans for the new exhibit, your mind can't help but wander back to Matt. The silence from him is starting to feel unusual, as he's always been the one to send you sweet messages and surprises on special occasions. But you brush it off, he's never disappointed you.

Just as you're about to finalize the placement of the last art piece, Marci rushes into your office, a mix of urgency and excitement in her eyes. "Hey!"

"How did you get in here?" You respond with a raised eyebrow. "Did my assistant let you in?"

Just as you finish your question Justin, your assistant, rushes in behind her. "I am so sorry. I tried stopping her, but she is so fast in those heels."

"Lawyer walk." Both you and Marci say in unison.

She turns back to you with a smile plastered on her face. "I need you to come with me for the rest of the day."

"Marci, I can't just leave work in the middle of the day." You cross your arms over your chest.

"Oh yes you can, I already spoke to your boss! So come on." She grabs your coat that's by the door, along with your umbrella. "We got things to do, come on."

You sigh and thank Justin for trying, and invite him to also take the rest of the day off. Which he does happily.

"So what are we even going to do?" You ask. Grabbing your bag, and putting away your belongings.

"Well we're gonna go get ready for our Valentine's Date Nights, duh." She helps you get your coat on, and you both were off. "I just know that Foggy, and Matt are planning something special for us."

You smile at the thought. "Have you heard from Foggy today? I know they had a busy day."

"Not a word. You didn't hear it from me, but apparently their client is very demanding of their time."

"Oh shit, really?"

You loved the gossip you got from your lawyer friends. Not that it was filled with a ton of details. Client/Lawyer confidentiality and all that.

"Mhm, Needs lots of attention to detail." She says before dragging you into a nail salon. You realize how nice this salon is after looking around. "Hey, wait, I don't think I'm gonna be able to afford this right now. Trying to save up for a new apartment with Matt, remember?"

She laughs before checking the both of you in for the appointment she had already made. "Who said you were paying? It's all on me today, hun."

"Oh my god, no way! I seriously cannot accept this."

"Too late! It's already done, you don't wanna ruin this day for me do you?" She pouts after turning back to you.

You sigh and shake your head. "Thank you, this is incredibly kind of you."

"Don't even mention it. I wanna make sure we both are dolled up!"

You're both called back after about 5 minutes. The salon was nicer than you thought. When you had both settled at the manicure station, they had offered you both a glass of champagne. Who were you not to accept a free glass?

It was truly relaxing, you were glad that Marci got you out of work early. You both spent the next two hours getting your nails prepped for a night out. Usually you don't get long nails since you work with your hands most of the time, but she insisted you get something more elegant. You couldn't refuse since she was the one paying.

Just as the nail technician finished with your right hand, your phone buzzed on the table beside you. Your heart skipped a beat as you saw Matt's name flashing on the screen. You quickly picked it up and answered, not wanting it to go to voicemail.

"Hey! Happy Valentine's Day!" You chirp happily. "How is court?"

There was a brief pause before Matt's voice came through, heavy with exhaustion. "Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetheart." It's been chaos. I couldn't even find a moment to catch my breath."

You let out a sigh of relief, understanding his predicament. "Then I guess tonight will be a good night to cash in one of those massages I owe you, huh?"

Hearing the low rumble of his chuckle sent chills through your body. "Yeah, guess it will be." He pauses. "I was wondering if you would meet me on the roof tonight, like we used to?"

"Yeah, of course I will." You blush, it has been a while since you both sat on the roof together. "What time do you want me there?"

"8:30. There is room for you to be fashionably late, of course."

You let out a giggle. "Yeah okay, 8:30 then. I'll see you then."

"I love you." He says with a loving sigh.

"I love you too." You respond before hanging up.

"Soooooo," Marci pipes up. "Romantic Dinner?"

The blush was still tinting your face from the conversation. "Yeah, on his rooftop."

"That sounds lovely, very romantic."

As you finish up at the nail salon, Marci insists on taking you to a cafe nearby. She called it a Galentine's Brunch, just the girls. When you both arrived, you were surprised to see that Karen was able to join you.

"I thought you were in court with Matt, and Fog?"

"Oh no, I told them I wouldn't be in today. Playing hookie." She laughed lightly. "Besides, Im not going to deny Marci a girls brunch. We need it."

As you settled into the cozy booth at the cafe, sipping on your latte, the three of you began catching up on each other's lives. Karen shared stories about her latest investigative assignment, Marci talked about her recent courtroom victories, and you filled them in on the details of the upcoming exhibit at The Met.

Marci nudges you playfully. "Have you thought about what you're going to wear?" she asks with a mischievous smile.

You shake your head, realizing that you've been so caught up in work and the surprise day off that you haven't even considered your outfit.

"I just figured I would wear what I was wearing right now."

"You're joking." Marci says. "You have to wear something else. Not saying that what you're wearing right now isn't cute, but this is Valentine's Day."

"Yeah you gotta wear something he can undress you with" Karen chimes in with a mischievous smile. "Cause you know he'll love it if you wore something hot."

"Okay, okay. I have been saving a silk dress for a special occasion."

"Silk? I gotta see this." Marci says forcefully.

You pull out your phone and find the dressing room photo you took of the dress in question. It was a lavender colored dress with a cowl neckline. They both stare at the photo then back to you.

"Where have you been hiding that!" Karen says in disbelief.

"In the back of my closet." You respond with a laugh. "I just didn't know how to style it."

"I will simply just have to come over and help you with that." Marci states.

"And." You pause. "There's matching lingerie."

They both squeal before you change the subject back to Marci and Foggy's plans for the evening.

You stare in the mirror at the dress you had shown Marci, and Karen earlier in the day.They had left about an hour ago to get ready for their own plans. Not without them giving your outfit their seal of approval though.

Sitting on your bed, you pull on the heels Marci had carefully chosen. This was going to be a good night, but you didn't know why the butterflies in your stomach felt so prominent. You haven't been this nervous since you started dating Matt.

Taking a deep breath, you remind yourself that there's nothing to worry about. It's just a rooftop date with the love of your life. You run a hand down the front of your dress, feeling its smooth texture against your skin.

As you do your makeup, you can't help but replay all the beautiful moments you've shared with Matt. From late-night conversations under the stars to stolen kisses on the rooftop, every memory fills you with warmth and love. Tonight is just another chapter in your story together, a celebration of your deep connection.

With your hair styled in loose waves, you stand in front of the full-length mirror and admire the final look. The dress drapes perfectly over your figure, accentuating your best features. You feel confident, more confident than you've felt in years.

You look at the clock on your nightstand, and see that it just hit 8:00. Perfect. You grab your bag and set out walking towards his apartment building.

The city is alive with the energy of Valentine's Day. Lovers walk hand in hand, their laughter and joy filling the air. As you make your way through the bustling streets, you can't help but smile. The anticipation in your heart grows with every step.

Finally, you arrive at Matt's apartment building. Taking a deep breath, you enter and climb the stairs towards the rooftop. The familiar sound of the door creaking open greets you as you step onto the familiar space that holds so many precious memories.

The sun has already set, casting a magical glow over the city skyline. The soft twinkle of lights fills the air, creating an atmosphere that feels straight out of a fairy tale. And there he is, standing near the edge of the rooftop, tall and handsome as ever.

Matt turns as he hears your footsteps approaching. A smile spreads across his face, lighting up his eyes in a way that makes your heart skip a beat. That's when you realize that you're not alone. You turn to see that your friends are there. Not only your friends but also your Aunt May and Peter.

"What is happening right now?" You say with a nervous laugh.

"Sweetheart," You hear him say and you turn back and give him your full attention. "I have been meaning to do this for a while, but I didn't know how to go about it."

"Matt, are you?" You begin before he cuts you off with a kiss.

"Ever since I met you I have been so entranced by you.You've brought so much light and love into my life, and I can't imagine a future without you by my side," Matt says, his voice filled with sincerity. He takes a step back, reaching into his pocket and retrieving a small velvet box. Opening it to reveal a dainty opal ring, he drops to one knee.

You stand there for a moment, wondering if this was actually happening or if you were have a really specific dream.

"Will you marry me?" Matt asks, his voice filled with vulnerability and love.

The world around you seems to fade away as you lock eyes with him, feeling a mixture of excitement and overwhelming joy. The weight of his question hangs in the air, and time seems to stand still.

Tears well up in your eyes as you try to find your voice. This moment feels like a dream, but the warmth in your heart tells you it's all too real. You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the question like a beautiful promise.

"Yes," you whisper, barely able to contain your joy. "Yes, Matt, I will marry you."

The rooftop erupts in cheers and he stands and slips the ring onto your finger. You glance around, realizing that they had all conspired together to create this magical moment. Aunt May wipes away a tear of happiness while Peter grins ear to ear. Marci and Karen are practically jumping up and down with excitement, their eyes shining with joy. Foggy is trying to conceal his tears by wiping his eyes with his sleeves.

Embracing Matt tightly, you feel an overwhelming sense of love and gratitude. This rooftop, once a place of solace and refuge for the two of you, now holds even more significance. It symbolizes the foundation of your future together, a place where love can blossom and dreams can be realized.

Amidst the cheers and laughter, you take a moment to soak in the beauty of this milestone in your relationship. The twinkling lights of the city below seem to dance in celebration, mirroring the joy in your hearts.

"This is so epic, and I got it all on video." Peter says amidst the celebration.

As the cheers die down, Aunt May steps forward, her eyes glistening with tears. "Oh, darling" she says, her voice filled with emotion. "I couldn't be happier for you both. You deserve all the love in the world. Your father would have loved Matt."

"Thanks Aunt May." You say with a tearful smile.

As the rooftop continues to buzz with excitement and congratulations, you and Matt share a tender moment together. He pulls you into his arms, his embrace warm and comforting. You feel safe and cherished as you rest your head against his chest, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in your ears.

"I love you so much," Matt murmurs softly, his voice filled with emotion. "And I promise to spend the rest of my life proving it to you."

You look up at him, your eyes filled with adoration. "I love you too, Matt," you reply, your voice filled with sincerity. "And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

After the shared dinner with all of your friends and family, you all decide it's time to head home to spend the rest of Valentine's Day in the comfort of your homes.

Saying goodbye to everyone, you and Matt clean the roof top and share a few intimate moments with kisses and lingering touches.

On your way back down the stairs, you can feel Matt's presence hovering over you. So you stop for a moment and turn to see what he is doing. As you turn, you feel his hand slide up your jaw as he pushes you against the wall. You gasp as he presses himself against you, one hand around your neck and the other sitting on your waist.

"Ive been waiting all day to be alone with you." He growls into your ear before kissing you roughly.

Your heart races as his lips claim yours, a hunger and desire that electrifies your senses. The intensity of his touch against the coolness of the wall sends shivers down your spine.

His hands explore every inch of your body, igniting a fire within you that only he can quench. The urgency and longing in his kisses leave you breathless.

With each touch, each caress, the connection between you deepens. Your bodies move together in perfect harmony, driven by a love that transcends words.

As he pulls away, you feel dizzy with the intensity of his attack. "We need to get back to your apartment." You state.

"Oh do we?" He questions. "I have no problem ravishing you right here in this stairwell."

You huff, as you stare at his smirking face. "I would actually love for you to ruin this dress, but in the comfort of our bed."

"Our bed?"

"Yes, our bed." You smirk as you push his hands away and begin to walk back to his apartment.

He follows closely behind you, his eyes never leaving your body. The desire he has for you is palpable, and it fuels you as well. As you pass each door, you can't help but imagine what would happen behind your own.

Approaching his door, you grab the keys from his hand and begin to unlock the door.

"I promise, I'll ruin that dress, right here," he whispers in your ear, causing you to shiver.

You hear the click of it unlocking as you turn to him, "Well, Mr. Devil. Ruin the dress then." you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

As the door creaks open, the sound echoes throughout the hallway, the anticipation in the air is palpable. Together, you step inside and kick the door shut behind you. He pins you against the wall, his hands roaming over your body like a man possessed.

He seems desperate to claim you, to conquer every inch of you. You're aching for him too, the want and need between you undeniable. You need his touch, his kiss, his warmth. You're completely vulnerable to him, ready to give yourself to him in every way.

His lips meet yours in a searing kiss, his hands holding your neck as your fingers dig into his shirt. You break the kiss, both of you panting heavily, your hearts pounding in sync.

"I love you so much," you whisper, your voice shaking with emotion.

"And I love you more," Matt replies, his voice filled with warmth and devotion.

With that his hands grip the top of your dress and he pulls, ripping the dress down the front. You moan at the intensity of the moment. He really did ruin the dress.

You're left in the lingerie you had on underneath as the dress drops to the floor. He takes a moment before feeling up your sides and realizes what you have on.

"Oh you dirty girl." He groans. "You wanted this to happen tonight, didn't you?"

You smile, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks. "Maybe I did"

"Well, I'm not complaining." He says slowly. "You have no idea how hard this is making me."

"I think I have some idea." You say as you lift your knee, feeling his erection already straining under the fabric of his pants.

His hand maneuvers down to pull your lingerie to the side, revealing your most intimate parts. "I'm going to make you scream, baby."

With that, he lifts you into his arms and carries you to the bedroom. The moment you step into the room, he drops you onto the bed and crawls on top of you.

"I want you so bad," he growls into your mouth. You feel his erection pressing into your thigh, and you're more than ready for him.

He breaks the kiss and starts to unbutton his shirt, you lay back watching as he undresses himself. What a sight it was, he could have been a Greek god.

Once he's stripped down to his boxers, he leans down to kiss you again, his hand traveling down your body, tracing patterns on your skin as he does. His fingers run along the edge of your underwear and you shudder at the sensation.

He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and slowly pulls them down, revealing your naked body to him. He leans down and begins to kiss your inner thigh, nuzzling into the most inner part.

"You're so beautiful," he whispers, his thumbs brushing against your waist.

Before you can respond, his tongue swipes up against your core. You gasp at the sudden electricity of the situation. He repeats the motion, his tongue swirling around your clit in slow, steady circles. Your hips start to rise in response, your hands finding their way to his hair, pulling him closer. You arch your back, moaning softly.

Matt responds with a gentle growl, his fingers still moving against your waist, caressing your skin. He reaches down and slowly pushes two fingers inside you, drawing out a loud moan.

His other hand moves to your breast, gently squeezing and kneading it. You mewl, your body trembling with need. His tongue continues to dance around your most sensitive flesh, and you feel yourself growing closer and closer to the edge.

"Oh, Matt," you moan, "I need you inside me."

He stops his ministrations, lifting his head towards you. "Not yet," he says, standing up and helping you off the bed. "I want to make you beg for it."

He leads you over to a table by the window, bending you over it. The cool glass feels amazing against your naked skin, as you're exposed to the room with your legs spread apart.

Matt positions himself behind you after dropping his boxers. You can feel his erection pressing against your ass, precum leaking out. You know he's ready for it.

"You're going to make me come so hard," you whisper.

He rubs his tip against your entrance, teasing you, making you crave him even more. Sliding his cock between your folds. You push back against him for any sort of friction.

A loud crack echoes through the apartment. His hand lingers, massaging the area he just spanked. "You need to be a good girl for me. Or else the next one will be a lot harder. Do you understand?"

You nod, pleasure spread across your face as you lean against the table.

"Good girl, sweetheart. Such a good listener."

Beginning to slide against you once again, you hold back every instinct to push back against him. With every teasing thrust, you feel electrified, your desire for him only growing. He knows what he's doing to you, and he loves every moment.

He slowly begins to tease your hole as you stand there whimpering. Pushing the head inside you, and quickly taking it out.

"Please, Matt, fuck me," you plead. "I can't take it anymore."

He pulls away, a devious grin on his face. "Not yet," he says, kissing the side of your face.

He picks you up, carrying you over to the bed. He lays you down, spreading your legs wide apart and kneeling between them.

"I need you to beg. Okay, sweetheart?" He says and you nod.

He slips two fingers into you, pumping and curling to find your sweet spot. You cry out in pleasure as he hits you right where it feels good.

"Please, oh god, Matt" You moan loudly. "I'm going to come, please I need you in me."

That must have been enough for him. With a low growl, Matt plunges into you, filling you up to the hilt. He thrusts deep inside you in one swift motion, the bed frame creaking under the force of his passion.

He pulls out almost immediately, leaving you emptiness. "Please," you beg, wanting more.

He chuckles softly, teasing you by running his cockhead up and down your slit. "Patience, sweetheart. I want this to last."

He thrusts back into you, moving slowly, savoring every moment. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

The way his cock pulsed inside of you was almost too much to bear. He began to pick up the pace, each thrust harder than the last.

You let out a loud, trembling moan, your head falling back as pleasure washed over you.

"I love you," he whispers, his breath warm against your skin.

"I love you too," you choke out, the emotions taking over you.

He picks up his pace, driving into you harder and faster, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh filling the room. Your body responds in kind, each thrust sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you.

"I'm going to come," you gasp, your voice breaking as your orgasm starts to build.

Matt's thumb found your sensitive clit, sending you soaring towards the edge. "Come for me, baby." he growls.

You let out a wail, your nails digging into his back as your orgasm hit you like a freight train. Your inner walls clenched around him, milking him as you shook uncontrollably.

He continued to thrust into you, driving you further over the edge. Your orgasm seemed to go on forever, your body writhing beneath him in pure ecstasy.

Finally, he slides out of you, leaving your inner walls quivering. He pulls you into his arms, holding you close as your heartbeats sync.

You lay there for a moment, basking in the afterglow of your intense lovemaking.

"My ass hurts." You after taking a deep breath. He begins to chuckle as you giggle.

"Sorry, too much?"

"Not at all."

"Good" He says as he pulls you closer and peppers your face with kisses.

As you lay there entwined in each other's arms, your skin still flushed and sweaty, you can't help but smile. This was more than just sex; it was a powerful expression of love and intimacy.

Matt pulls away and smiles, a look of pure contentment on his face. "I just can't get enough of you."

You giggle and wrap your arms around him, feeling safe and loved in his embrace.

"Can we talk about the fact that we're engaged now?"

"I've been planning it for the last 2 weeks with Foggy, Peter, and your Aunt May."

"There is no way that Peter kept a secret for that long. How did you even manage that."

"You can thank your aunt for that one. She basically grounded him from texting you."

This made you both laugh. "You know, I'm gonna have to get used to being called Mrs. Murdock."

A smile spreads across his face, "I'm already getting used to it."

As he pulls you in for another kiss, you can't help but feel a rush of emotion. This man. This strong, protective, and passionate man, is now your fiancé. The thought brings a smile to your face, and you wrap your arms around him even tighter.

"I can't wait to see what the future holds for us," you whisper.

He pulls away slightly, a gentle smile on his face. "The future is ours, my love. And I promise to love and cherish you, always."

"Though I do have one complaint."

"And what is that?" He raises an eyebrow.

"You never asked me to be your valentine."

Chuckling, he pulls your hips closer before whispering in your ear. "Be Mine, Forever?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

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juneknight · 8 months

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•.Be Lost.• 1

Chapter 1 | Chapter 1.5 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 2.5

Summary: after a series of failures to find a dominant, your long time best friend Marc offers to give topping you a shot.

About this: Marc Spector/f!reader, mentions of kink, dominance and submission, kneeling, orgasm control

Immersivity: reader is a non-physically described cisgender woman. She works with animals and spends months out of the year in a place where it is cold—but this is the extent of her description. If there are other details which need mentioned because they hinder your immersive experience, please feel free to point them out.

“Give up. Give In. in the end It would be better to surrender before you begin. be lost. Be lost—And then you will not care if you are ever found.”—Victoria Schwab

Marc sends the message one night after the two of you have hung up from a lengthy venting session about your latest dating failures. A simple, without context:

You could do better

I know, you type back, squinting at the screen of your phone in the darkness. Outside, the wind howls—another snowstorm which you hope will either amount to nothing or be bad enough that you won’t have to traverse the icy roads to work in the morning. You roll onto your side, adjusting the pillow beneath you. You’re covered nose to toes beneath the coverlet and still shivering, but Marc always has a way of making you feel warm. That’s why I told that guy off, isn’t it? I know I can do better.

You watch as he types, no hesitation:

You could do me

In the morning, you text him with one hand, spooning Cheerios into your mouth with the other.

What, are you offering? There. You’re giving him an out. His message had confused you, left you spending half the night awake wondering about its context. You could do me. You could do me. You could do me? However he had meant it, you knew you had to offer him an easy way out. A fire escape. Maybe one of those seats on the plane that are right by the emergency exits. There’s a parachute beneath your seat, Marc, you think to yourself, drinking the remnants of milk from your bowl. Take it.

Yes. Give me a chance to help you feel better

Your face flushes. God, how embarrassing is it that Marc knows how bad you need fucked? Not just that—Marc knows how bad you need submitted. That was the caveat of having him as a best friend: he was more likely to listen than to speak, and as such, you told him everything. All your struggles with the kink scene up here in your little frozen section of the States. All the things every guy before him had done wrong…

You aren’t into that stuff, you text back.

And at the end of your work day, toes frozen in your boots, cheeks dry and chapped from the wind, you finally pull out your phone to see his response:

Says who?

I’m at a disadvantage here, you type to him while cooking dinner. The tiny kitchen of the sublet you rent during the winter months smells of pesto. You’re just glad it’s warm, wiggling your bare toes by the heat of the stove. You know all my kinks, I don’t know yours.

Marc sends a voice chat. It’s just over a minute long. Your heart is in your throat while your finger hovers over the play button. God, what the fuck could he be saying? Is he listing them all out for you, in alphabetical order or something? It will be the first time you’ve heard his voice since his text (“You could do me”, the phrase haunted your dreams now).

Pressing the button, you quickly hold the phone up to your ear. There’s no one else in the sublet with you, but you still imagine that his words will be scandalous enough to curl the nails in the floorboards.

There is rustling—Marc’s voice in the background, bright and laughing and calling out to someone, and then obviously speaking lowly into the phone to you: “You know what my kink is? Three years ago when I tried to take you hiking on that backpacking-for-beginners trail and got us lost, you remember? We spent half the fucking day—literally six hours or something—finding our way out, and after we did, I felt so bad I took you out to dinner. We didn’t even go home first, we were so hungry. We went to that fancy Italian place in town, both of us smelling like sweat and covered in dirt and at least ten pounds lighter from all the energy we burned out there in the woods, and when the waiter finally set that plate of food in front of you, you took a bite and you made this sound, this sound like you’d been dying of thirst but now you were lapping water right out of God’s palm. It was pleasure, and, and relief all in one—hearing you make that noise, and getting you to make it over and over again? That’s my kink. Do with that what you will.”

The voice message ends.

You drop your pesto spoon in the pot of boiling noodles.

You call him that night. You have to.

You and Marc have been friends for years, meeting in your early days of adulthood. It had been a fast friendship, both of you complimenting each other well. Marc was so easy to love, it had only made sense that you’d fallen in love with him. He was handsome and gentle and sometimes scathing and often hilarious. The only thing standing between him and a long term relationship was what Marc considered his ‘baggage’: the terrible abuse he had suffered as a boy, and the ramifications of it which he was still actively working to overcome after all these years. Marc didn’t think himself fit for marriage or even long-term dating. It was a shame for all the single women out there.

A blessing for you, though.

“Is this weird?” you ask as soon as he picks up the phone. “I don’t want things to be weird, Marc.”

“You spent half your day FaceTiming a horse,” says Marc dryly. “I don’t think your life can get any weirder.”

It was true—you had had to walk out to the barn three separate times today through the sleet to let an owner FaceTime with her horse who was sick and under your care. It had felt a little strange, being the third wheel in that conversation, but you understood her anxiety.

“I just—Marc, I don’t want to lose you. As a friend.”

You hear the phone shift as he shuffles it from one ear to another. He says: “The only way you could lose me would be if you told me to get lost. So can we figure this out?”

“Are you even attracted to me?” Maybe it’s desperate, but you’ve asked it. Marc has always taken efforts to compliment your appearance (resulting in heart palpitations all afternoon for yourself), but he’s never explicitly said that he finds you attractive.

On the other end, Marc lets out a breath which sounds a little like a laugh. Or a sigh? “Yes. Are you attracted to me?”

Marc clearly has never looked in a mirror as long as he has been alive. Tan skin that turns golden in the right lighting, dark curls that you wouldn’t mind trying to manage with your fingers, brown eyes that hint at the color of whiskey, a jaw to die for…

You clear your throat. “I mean—sure.”

“Sure.” You can hear his smile on the other end. It makes you want to die, just a little.

“Kind of.”

“Understandable.”

“You’re passable.”

“I’ll take it.”

One time, he texts while you brush your teeth. And if I’m no good at it, you can keep going to all those kink clubs up in the arctic circle

And if you are good at it? you wonder, because Marc has never been bad at anything in his life. Because ever since he suggested it, it’s all you’ve been able to think about, the feelings that you’ve had for Marc surging forward from the dusty shelf in the back of your brain where you had stored them all these years. Marc could just give you a look and you’re pretty sure it would melt you. There’s no way he’s going to be bad at topping you.

Then I’ll take care of you

Yes. Yes, melting already. You spit in the sink and rinse.

“Tell me again how it went with this last guy,” Marc says during your next phonecall. The two of you call each other every other night religiously when you are away (“up in the arctic circle” as he would say) for the coldest three months of the year. His voice is warm and low, quiet.

Even though you have already told him once, it is different now, isn’t it? The thought of relaying again everything that happened makes your face heat, makes you tug the blankets over your head until it is dark all around you.

“Do I have to?” you wonder.

“Do I have to make you?” he wonders back, voice lowering a fraction.

Your heart stutters. Your breaths begin to come at a faster rate.

“No,” you say, breathy and obviously on the verge of being devastated. “I’ll tell—we met on fetlife. He seemed nice and his picture was cute. Our interests lined up, so we met up at one of the clubs in town, but even though our interests had matched up on paper, we weren’t, like, meshing in real life.

“Like—,” you have to pause to clear your throat, voice dropping down low enough to almost be considered a whisper. God, you couldn’t believe you were telling Marc this again. “He…he called me a slut. I had marked that I wasn’t into degradation like that, but I think he thought it was an exception.”

“Why did he think that?” Marc asks. You’ve heard it said before that a lawyer never asks a witness a question that they don’t already know the answer to. In this moment, it seems like Marc is the same way.

“Because he called me his slut,” you admit. “He thought that would like, negate…I don’t know.”

“Are you?” Marc asks. “A slut, I mean.”

It rolls off your tongue before you can stop it: “Not his.”

There comes a breathy little exhale from Marc’s end of the line. It couldn’t be you—not when you’re holding your breath, eyes wide at your own audacity, at the mere suggestion that you would be okay being Marc’s slut, but not this stranger’s. Marc’s voice rasps from the other end: “I know, honey. I know.

“Tell me what happened next.”

I’ve been thinking, you text the next morning (which is true, there is a single moment spent outside of work that you aren’t spent thinking about this). Maybe this is where I’m going wrong with every guy, but—maybe we should practice. On the phone, you know?

Over text? he asks.

Sure, you say, aiming for nonchalant.

I want to hear your voice, he texts, effectively ruining any hope you had for nonchalance. It’s the last thing you want though. You’re terrified that hearing Marc’s voice croon such dangerous, sinful things to you will destroy you. You will be irrevocably changed. There will be the Before Marc times and the After Marc times.

Compromise? Start like this, and if we’re clicking, then we can do it over call.

It, he teases. Can you say it? Can you tell me what you want?

Jesus, Marc. You know what I want.

Use your words.

You whine, an honest-to-God audible whine beneath your blankets. He’s already slipping into the role so well. Or is he? Is he truly made to be dominant, some prodigious Dom, or are you simply made to melt at everything he does? But it also brings to light the question: what do you want?

Can I think about it?

Always, he says.

It takes time for you to gather your thoughts. Everything to think about the fact that this is Marc you’re talking about, your brain gets fuzzy and you lose your words. Finally, you devote yourself to writing it out longhand and thinking in general terms. What would you have wanted from Mr. My-Slut if he had asked you the same question?

When you’re finished, you text it to him before you can second guess yourself.

I want to feel owned. I want to feel small but safe. I want to feel consumed, like nothing else matters but you and what you do to me and what I do for you. I want my head to feel empty of anything that isn’t good for me or doesn’t feel good.

You bury your face in your pillow, but aren’t even there long enough to suffocate before your phone buzzes with a reply.

I can do that.

For a while, you don’t text Marc. You even miss one of your ritualistic calls. The thought of speaking to him when he knows what you want from a Dom is too much. Before, it had been easy to brush off your kinks to him. So much about wanting to be submitted had become akin to pop culture. Yeah, I want someone to tie me up and spank me and call me a slut, tee-hee!

It had always gone so much deeper for you, and for so many others, you could imagine. You were a hard worker even as a child. You became someone that people could rely on—and too often, they did. It only made sense that you would crave a way to be useful to someone, crave a way to shut your mind off. Crave a way to feel loved.

You throw yourself into your work, marking off days on a calendar. The first day of March, you will drive south back to the city. Back to Marc. Your contract here will be up, until next winter. God, you can’t wait to see him again. He always meets you outside the door to your building, chewing gum and pacing, like he’s nervous. Though only God knows what he would have to be nervous about.

Marc doesn’t text or call you either. He must have picked up on the vibes. Instead, he gives you space.

The next time you are due for your nightly vent sessions, Marc calls you. If you are worried you’ll get a talking to (or at least questions: why you hadn’t called, whether or not you were mad at him or other absurdities), you don’t get one. You slip back into the warm easiness that is your friendship, swapping stories about your days, talking about current events. Sometimes you don’t say anything, just sit in silence knowing the other person is there or listen to the quiet sounds of the other doing some mundane task: folding laundry, pouring a glass of water.

You exchange your customary ‘Love you’s at the end of the call, but the words reverberate in your throat. You love him. You really do.

Okay, show me what you got.

Come on, you know what I mean. I’m ready. Let me have it.

Oh is that how this goes?

You blink at the question. …yeah?

I don’t think so, he texts. You know how to ask for something you want.

Your heart leaps to your throat. Thumbs shaking a little, you ask: How’s that?

You say please.

You take a deep, soothing breath. Please?

That’s the word, yeah. Then he sends the thumb’s up emoji—monster.

Marc, I’m ready. Can we try, please? Your nerves are shot, stomach in your throat as you wait for a response. As soon as you see him start typing, you lose your nerve and turn off your phone screen. It’s like a horror movie. You can’t watch. When he finally sends a response and you open it, your mouth drops.

You can do better than that, can’t you? And a moment later: Beg me.

Fuck you, you text, laughing brightly at his audacity.

Not with that attitude, he types. I only fuck good girls.

“Jesus, Marc,” you mutter to yourself, breaths coming fast and short. How can he just say stuff like that? Single sentences that are hotter than any of the dirty talk men have given you during sex over the years. For a while, you are torn on what to answer. You want to quip, to say something bratty and whitty that will make him give one of his quiet exhales of laughter, the kind you are so familiar with hearing from the other end of your sofa while you both scroll through your phones. But, deep down—

What if I’m not a good girl? Maybe he’ll consider it just mindless sexy talk. Yeah, I’m not a good girl, I’m a bad girl. Maybe you’ve even said something like this before to one of those other guys. You can almost hear in some generic male voice the response: yeah, you’re such a bad girl.��

Which is why Marc’s answer is so striking: She’s in there. Do I need to help you?

You have no idea what it could mean, but your fingers answer without any hesitation: Yes please

And your phone rings.

You answer it. Holding the phone to your ear, you become aware of how you are holding your breath, not letting a single word or sound pass through your lips.

On the other end, you can hear Marc’s steady, soft breathing.

“You there, baby?”

You hum in affirmation, but it comes out as a choked whine that makes your face turn hot.

“You’re going to have to use your words,” he warns. “But I’ll help you. Alright? The only thing I need you to do is this: if I say something that isn’t true, don’t say it. Otherwise, just repeat after me. Can you do that?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Good girl,” he says, voice dipping into a silky, pleased octave from his side of the phone. Your thighs clench together. Holy fuck. He’s going to destroy you. “Here we go: Marc Spector.”

“Marc Spector,” you sigh shakily. Easy enough.

“I trust you.”

“I trust you so-o much.”

You snort. “I trust you so-o-o much.”

“That I trust you to know what I need.” Mouth dry, you repeat the words. He adds: “And I trust you to be able to give it to me.”

“Marc,” you whisper, though you don’t know why.

“I love the way you sound when you say my name,” Marc admits to you. “Especially when you sound half-wrecked, and I’m five hundred miles away, not even able to touch you. But I need you to be a good girl and follow my directions. Repeat after me, or say nothing. Can you do that? Say, Yes.”

“Yes.”

“Good girl,” he says again. “I don’t know how anyone could mistake you for anything else. Now keep repeating, okay?: I trust you to be able to give me what I need.”

“I trust you to be able to give me what I need,” you repeat. As you say it, the words strike you in the chest. They’re true. You really do. All the people in the world, and maybe you love Marc more than any of them. And he is the sort of man who keeps his word—always.

“And I want it.”

“I want it,” you breathe.

“Real bad, Marc.”

“Really bad, Marc.”

“Are you in bed?”

“Are you in—wait—“ Marc laughs. “Yes? I’m—“

“I want you to get out of bed and get on your knees,” he says—just casually. Oh, lovely evening, now get down on your knees for me. Like being on your knees for Marc wasn’t on your mind constantly these days.

Without higher thought, you throw the blanket off, the cold air chilling your body. Sitting up, you let your legs dangle off the edge of the bed, holding the phone to your ear with your shoulder. Your socked-toes skim the floor.

“What’s it matter if I go down there?” you whisper. “I’m in a different state. It’s not as if you can see me.”

“It matters to me,” he says. “If it’s too cold, put down a blanket. I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Go on.”

You don’t bother with the blanket, appreciating the chilly floors against your bare knees and shins. You sit on your heels, thighs squeezed tightly together.

“What if I just lie?” you wonder. “Say I did it, but I’m still under the covers.”

“You wouldn’t do that. Are you down there?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Fuck. ‘What does it matter’, as if I need to see you. Like I can’t picture you clear as day in my head. Like it doesn’t mean more to me to know you’re on your knees a hundred-hundred miles away, just because I told you to.” Marc sounds strangely wrecked, and the knowledge that this menial action really has affected him so deeply has your shoulders going lax, bowing over to rest the top half of your frame against the soft mattress. Your cunt aches.

“Marc,” you whine.

“Yes?”

“Please,” you groan, turning to muffle your face into the mattress. Your further words are just inarticulate mumbles. He laughs, soft and warm.

“Spread your knees apart,” he says. “Far apart, as wide as you can.”

It is the last thing you want to do, but you do it. The brief sparks of pleasure that lit you up every time you clenched your thighs together are gone now, the cool air brushing against your heated sex through your underwear. It only emphasizes how much you ache, how little you’ve been satisfying yourself lately because every time your hand dips between your legs, Marc comes to mind, and you’re too flustered to give in and rub one out thinking of him. But oh god, that’s going to change. You can tell.

“Are you wet right now?” he wonders lowly.

You make a sound that is the vaguest affirmation you can give.

He exhales, the sound shaky through the speaker. “You’re so fucking good. I don’t know how you could ever think otherwise. Absolutely perfect. That’s how I know you’re going to be good and follow this next rule of mine.”

“Wha’s that?” you slur, head fuzzy where it rests against your sheets.

“You can touch yourself as often as you like,” he says, making your face burn hot again. “Use those toys I know you have—but absolutely no one else. Not in person, not over the phone. If we do this, you rely on me and I do the same for you. Deal?”

“Deal,” you sigh, relieved that his condition goes both ways. You aren’t necessarily strict on monogamy, but you are strict on devotion. The last thing you could ever do would be to go behind your partner’s back—and it’s something that could be liable to shatter your heart if it happened to you.

“Glad we’re on the same page,” he says. “But this next part is just as important okay, so make sure you’re listening, yeah?”

“I’m listenin’.”

“If you want to cum, you get permission from me, first.”

#marc spector x reader

390 notes · View notes

secondhand-snow · 2 months

Text

a body of impulses

chapter 2: feeling like unraveling

lukas matsson x f!roy! reader (succession)

★ chapter 1 ★ | ★chapter 3★

wc: 9.0k+

warnings: super dysfunctional family, fluff first then angst, roman roy as his own warning, season 3 finale as its own warning, mentions of manipulation, drinking, smut, virgin!reader, inexperienced!reader, corruption kink (for real this time), dick pics, mention of phone sex, making out, dry humping/grinding, biting, pussyjobs, cum play/eating, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), aftercare, no use of y/n

summary: Lukas is amazing. He's tender, he's deviant, he's everything for you. But you're still worried, your family has never seen a beautiful thing that they haven't wanted to break.

author's note: chapter 2 is here, thank you for all the love on chapter 1! i hope you love it as much as i loved writing it ♡ be warned that this is heavy on the plot of episodes 3.08 and 3.09, so if you haven't watched the full show you may get a bit lost. please consider liking, commenting, or reblogging if you enjoyed!

You have a tendency to get anxious when things are good for too long. A few weeks without a family fight, a month without a scandal, half a year without Kendall relapsing; nice things usually end in flames in your family. They make you superstitious, always looking around the corner for something to jump out and fuck everything up. So, when Lukas is good, you get scared. You expect some kind of backhand. A threat of blackmail, a tweet exposing your promiscuity, a package of anthrax at your door.

It never comes.

He calls you every night, your timezone, not his. Listens to you talk about your day and doesn’t press when you can’t give him details on the company. He loves to send you pictures, just of him doing the most mundane things. Lukas on a Zoom meeting, Lukas working out, Lukas eating dinner. Together, you fall into something almost domestic. It’s still a secret. You don’t open his messages in public, stay far away from any conversations about him at work that could lead a blush to your face. But when has anything in your life been completely honest?

He’s been begging for a while now to fly you out to Sweden. You know it’s a risk you shouldn’t take at the moment, but you entertain him anyway. When you ask why he wants to see you so badly, he says he misses you. Then he says he wants to fuck you on his desk.

That almost convinces you, and you’re about to start packing when a roadblock emerges. Your dad asks you to come with him and your siblings to Italy, for Caroline’s wedding. You hadn’t been planning on going, she wasn’t your mom and you didn’t have much of a relationship with her. In fact, you actually thought she secretly hated you, something to do with how quickly Logan married your mom after their divorce. Regardless, you didn’t want to go to the wedding. But when Logan Roy calls, you come. Always.

So the bags were repacked and you found yourself on a different private jet with your siblings, once again at the mercy of your family.

“She’s probably in sexual thrall to him. He’s driving her wild with his sugar dick.” Siobhan spoke matter of factly, completely oblivious to how absurd her words sounded. Still, it wasn’t the strangest conversation of hers you’d walked in on. “So there’s nothing we can do.”

Roman was perched across the aisle from Tom and Shiv, sitting oddly in his seat, running his hand through his hair while he spoke. “All right, fine. Let him kill her for her emeralds and… screw us out of the fucking firm. See if I care.”

“Mommy issues?” You spoke up, setting your bag down on a free seat before moving to lean over the back of Shiv’s chair, kneeling on the seat behind it.

“Always. I didn’t know you were coming?” Rome turns to address you, eyebrows coming together in question.

“Dad drafted me. I think he just wants to terrorize Caroline with my presence.”

“I think you torment her enough by just existing. She doesn’t get to be the perfect mother of Logan Roy’s prodigal children.” Shiv pitched in, finally acknowledging your presence with a little smile.

“I don’t think I’m even invited to all the events. He’s just gonna have me working on the GoJo deal the whole time.”

“Oh! About the deal, I was talking to Karl and Frank-” Tom is addressing Roman more than you, but still gives you the courtesy of eye contact before your brother cuts him off.

“Yeah, no, you’re not really a part of that. Either of you, actually.” Rome nods his head to the couple, a smirk on his face charged by his current power trip.

“Well, I am.” Shiv interjects, annoyed.

“Well, I can’t fire you yet Shiv, because I’m still a little bit scared of you. But, my thinking is, when I take over, I’m gonna put you in the office next to mine and you’re gonna be my sexy secretary.” You just shake your head at Roman’s comment while he turns to head back to his seat.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Siobhan is more irritated than really upset, going back to her phone as Roman leaves the conversation.

“I dunno. We’re working on it.” He taps the back on his legs in a rhythm before sitting down. “Ongoing process.”

You address Tom, seeing the confusion in his eyes that people tend to get when talking to your brother. “We’re just working on outlining terms. Honestly, Gerri would be better to ask for specifics. I don’t know how much Dad wants me to say.”

Tom just nods in thanks, which you return with a small smile before heading to your seat. You’re across the aisle from Roman, who’s already curled up and ready to nap on the flight. Taking out your phone, you see a new message from Lukas, covertly labeled in your phone with just an “L.” You turn the screen away from your company, making sure to not catch the reflection in the window as you open his text.

Stockholm is a 4 hour flight to Italy.

Is it? I’ll be in the air for at least 10 hours.

10 hours without talking to you?

I think you can manage it.

I don’t know about Italy. I can’t be held responsible for what I do when I’m in the same country as you.

It’s a risk.

Will there be a reward?

…I’ll text you when we land.

He sends a picture of himself doing a kissing face. You send a heart emoji in response, hiding your face with your hand to conceal your smile.

It turns out that you were invited to a few events of Lady Caroline’s wedding. Not the ceremony, of course, but at least you were allowed to attend the receptions leading up to it. You weren’t going to be cooped up in a hotel room all weekend, signing documents and having Facetime sex with your not-boyfriend. In fact, you ended up at one of these events just a little after your arrival, a garden party full of snobby aristocrats and expensive champagne. It’s too hot out for your liking, you're already sweating in your semi-formal sundress and downing your second glass of cold bubbly.

You end up with Shiv, partially blocked from the sun by the shadow of her hat, quietly snickering at her and Tom’s jokes about a clueless cousin Greg. It’s surprisingly calm for one of your family gatherings, no shouting or challenging or worse. The tranquility snaps like a twig with a ding on your phones.

“Uh- Matsson…” Shiv speaks first, the two of you pulling out your phones simultaneously, her angling her screen to share it with Tom. A message from Karolina leads you to Matsson’s twitter page, and his latest tweet. It’s a goofy gif of his face with a Snapchat filter on it, the text reading ‘Going to Macao, feeling lucky.” You’re half excited, half alarmed. You don’t really know if you should believe it at first but, against your better judgment, you hope it’s true. Hope he’s just an hour or two from you, the closest he’s been in weeks.

“What? Going to Macao? Feeling lucky?” Tom squints against the sun to see the Tweet before pulling out his own phone. “The fuck is that?”

“You get this thing from Karolina? It’s off the radar and now this? Is this- is it a move?” Gerri’s entrance is quick, followed closely behind by Roman. You open your mouth and close it again, not sure if your words will betray your duplicity.

“It, um, it could be…could be nothing, you know? Fucking social media fireworks!” Roman’s hand is threaded through his hair, the silver watch on his wrist glinting in the light.

“‘Going to Macao, feeling lucky.’” Gerri repeats the four words, she’s as flabbergasted as everyone in this little Waystar circle. Business has once again interfered with pleasure. “Is he trying to boost his price?”

“Is he just rocking the boat?” Shiv’s voice is unsure, wavering from her usual monotone state. “Or trying to blow up the deal? I mean, has he got good subscriber numbers coming in?”

“Maybe he’s just going to Macao and he’s feeling lucky.” Tom chimes in as Rome steps away from the group, phone pressed to his ear in a call you can’t fully hear.

“I mean, yeah… It’s not out of his archetype to post something like this.” You shrug, not sure what to contribute that hasn’t already been said.

Roman finishes his call, turning back to you to speak. “I don’t know, it’s like, his thing. He’s a- a trickster.”

“Okay. Well, sounds cool. Is he gonna, like, steal our watches and fucking saw the deal in half?” Shiv’s getting upset, you know she likes control and she’s too far removed from this deal to do anything about Matsson’s stunts.

“Maybe!”

“You’re supposed to be inside this Rome!”

“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. Mattson’s not stupid, he wouldn’t deliberty fuck this deal and announce it to the world on Twitter.” You’re trying to reason with your siblings, though it’s not really working. Roman mostly ignores you, Siobhan rolls her eyes. Atleast Gerri and Tom look somewhat appreciative for your input.

“I am inside, Leave it.”

You’re done with the dialogue, done with being the peacemaker and getting stepped over by your narcissistic siblings. You throw your hands up, phone held in one and the other in a flat palm to signify your retreat before you walk away from the cluster. You hear Greg say something behind you but don’t bother to answer him, instead moving to find a quiet place far away from your siblings.

You end up in a corner somewhere, mostly blocked by trees and bushes, a little cubby hole you hoped was private enough to not be listened in on. Your fingers nimbly click through the apps on your phone, pausing briefly before pressing the call button on Lukas’s contact. It rings once, twice. Then, an answer.

“When are you coming over? Should I send you a helicopter?”

“Macao?” Your voice is higher than normal, laced in shock and thrill.

“Closer than we’ve been in weeks.” The smile is apparent in his voice, he’s pleased with himself, you hate it. And love it.

“You’re fucking insane. I didn’t think you were serious!”

“Yeah, I am. I’ll send my jet over.”

“Oh my God, I still cannot believe you. I can’t- my family is on high alert after your little rogue Tweet.” You laugh, not really mad at him, just eager and amazed.

“Oh come on, that was nothing.”

“It was a play to keep them on guard and you know it.”

“Well, partially. It’s for the numbers too. And for your attention.”

“It’s so hard to be away from you when you do shit like this…”

“Oh yeah? You miss me?” It’s a taunt, he knows the truth even if you deny it. So, you’re honest.

“You know I do.”

“Mmm… I miss you too. Keep thinking about what I’ll do when I see you again.”

“Lukas… I’m in public…” You can’t help but glance around, be sure you’re alone when he starts talking like this. His plan is already so clear to you.

“So you don’t want me to tell you about all the ways I’ll fuck you?”

“... Don’t do this to me now.”

“It’ll be just us in this house. I’ll take you wherever I want to. You can scream as loud as you want, don’t have to be worried about someone hearing.” His voice drops, there’s a small rustling on the phone. His words shoot straight to your core, a sensation beginning to form there.

“I’m at a fucking wedding party and you’re getting me turned on. You’re evil.”

“You love it.” You pause a moment, taking a deep breath and steeling yourself before responding.

“I’ll call you tonight. Please be careful.”

He chuckles.“I will.”

When you hang up, your text thread with Lukas is immediately graced with a photo of his dick, hard and gripped tightly in his fist. It makes you inhale sharply, curse under your breath at the growing need between your thighs. You text him back, simply writing “Fuck you.” before clicking your phone off. It takes you a few minutes of breathing exercises, but you’re able to calm your desire and soothe the blush in your cheeks before returning to the party.

Nobody asks where you went, nobody even really cared that you were gone. You can blame it on Connor’s show of making a proposal, or Matsson’s antics occupying everyone’s minds, but this is how it always is with you. The good child. The innocent daughter. Forever right where she needs to be, never in anyone’s way, constantly willing to help. You disappear when you aren’t wanted, you emerge only when you’re useful. The perfect loyalist, somehow being turned to a deserter.

Lukas leaves Monaco before you can sneak away to see him. You know it’s for the better, but it’s still a disappointment. You resign to finish the family trip and visit Sweden as soon as you get home to New York, going along with the planned events, a false smile plastered on your face. It’s during Caroline’s bachelorette in Cortona when your plans change. You were nursing a glass of wine, silencing your discontent at the rooftop bar when Gerri approached you.

She dragged you around to speak with Roman, revealing that your Dad had once again put you on babysitting duty. Logan wanted Rome to go talk to Mattson at his house in Switzerland, and wanted you to keep him in line. He couldn’t trust Roman to not fuck the deal, but he didn’t want you to speak to Mattson alone. So, you were recruited to accompany Rome. Speak just enough to stop him from saying something stupid, but not enough to draw attention. It was a game you were good at, one you had been practicing since youth. You were loyal to a fault, and Logan always used it to his advantage.

Lukas is ecstatic when you tell him you’re coming. Less so when he learns Roman is accompanying you, but still thrilled. You ask him for discretion, first nicely and then sternly. You can’t afford to make your relationship, whatever it is, public. He knows this too, knows what your family would do if they found out, but can’t help teasing. It’s only a day after Logan’s request that you board a helicopter, headed to Lake Maggiore. Headed to Lukas.

Roman is oddly quiet on the flight, constantly on his phone or looking out the window, eyes blank. You know him well enough to see the anxiety clouding his mind, feel the nervous energy radiating off his body. You reach over to him and hold his hand. He looks annoyed. He doesn’t drop it. You squeeze his fingers gently, he returns the motion, lets you quietly comfort him until you land.

Lake Maggiore is beautiful, surrounded by the Alps and lush vegetation, villas and lake homes dotting the shores of the water. You move straight from the helicopter to a boat, which immediately takes off at high speeds, skating over the surface of the lake. The wind fucks up your hair, blows up the skirt of your sundress, almost makes you loose your sunglasses. When you finally dock, you quickly pull out your phone, using it as a mirror to fix your smudged makeup and windswept hair before your host arrives. Roman gives you a weird look, silently judging you for putting effort into your appearance. As if he doesn’t spend hours in front of the mirror every morning styling his hair to look perfectly imperfect.

When Lukas’s frame finally emerges from the hedges of his property, you have to bite your lower lip to hide your smile. He’s so himself, wearing sweatpants and a plain t-shirt, not bothering with real shoes, just a pair of casual slip-ons. It almost hurts to see him and not be able to immediately kiss him. Jesus, your inner monologue sounds like something from a cheesy rom-com. You feel so love-struck, it makes you crinkle your nose in embarrassment.

The boat is tied up to the dock now, Roman perched on the side trying to make it onto solid land. The waves rock the vehicle back and forth, knocking him off balance and ruining his attempt at disembarking.

“Do you want me to hold your hand?” Lukas has one hand in his pocket, the other reached out to Rome, close enough for him to grab. If he wanted to. “Come on, I’ll hold your hand.”

“Piss off.” Roman swats his hand away, finally moving off the boat with a small jump. You move, taking his place on the edge of the boat. It’s a bit unsteady, but you manage getting on to the dock in just a few seconds. You shoot a smug smile at Roman before following the two of them up some steps, away from the water and onto Lukas’s yard.

“It’s nice to see you again, man.” Roman speaks first, breaking the silence that had fallen over you three.

“Yeah, yeah. Long time.” Lukas has his usual posture, slightly hunched and lanky, with his hands in his pockets nonchalantly.

“This is an amazing place!” Rome looks around, you continue to follow him and Lukas through the lawn, letting them lead you as you observe.

“Yeah...”

“No?”

“I don’t know, it kind of freaks me out, to be honest.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“When I got it, I wanted everything to be perfect.” You climb a few steps, the group arriving at an outdoor pool area, lined with shrubs and facing the lake. “Now I’m sleeping on a camping mat until I get a deep dive on the best mattress in the world. It’s great- it’s great. I’m just not feeling great. I mean… I’m fine… Well, but, not really.”

You frown at his words. You want to reach out, hold his hand, touch his back, do something to comfort him. But it would be too obvious, too impulsive. Instead you nod sympathetically, catching his gaze for a moment.

“Maybe let’s leave the little feeley-feelings out of it. Cause I’m gonna give you nothing. Nothing!” Roman’s half joking. He hates emotions, tries to diffuse bad ones with humor, even if it feels inappropriate.

“Roman.” Your tone is a warning, pushing your sunglasses back on your head to give him a glare before turning to Lukas. “I get it. You want the best, but you don’t realize how boring perfection is when you always have it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Success.. It doesn’t interest me anymore. It’s too easy. It’s fucking… anyone can do it. Analysis plus capital plus execution. But failure… that’s a secret.” Lukas is looking at you like you’re the only person in the world when he speaks. Sometimes he thinks you can see into his soul, you somehow know him better than anyone. He takes his sunglasses off, using the collar of his shirt to hold them. His blue eyes look directly into yours.“What are you worst at?”

“Well… I… am never telling you any of my weaknesses. Ever. Never, ever, ever.” Roman breaks into the conversation again, disrupts the eye contact between you two. “And I won’t let her tell you any either. Stuff a sock in her mouth, a ball gag or something.”

“That’s smart.”

“I know, I am smart.”

“Cause I ream people. Juice em like oranges. I get way too into people, and they disappoint me.” He looks at Roman when he says that, but you can’t help but take his words as a warning. Things moved fast between you and Lukas, you’ve barely known him for a few weeks and were already opening your heart to him. Letting him into your mind, letting him rearrange the furniture there like he owns it. “Hey, I’m thinking of doing like a- quarterly up and outs at the company.”

“Oh, yeah. Firing people is like, 85% of why I get up in the morning.” Roman shrugs when he talks, moving to take his sunglasses off and hold them in his hand. “But, uh.. I do want to ask you about that tweet, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh the…” Lukas laughs, looks at you, back to Roman. He makes a face, sticking out his tongue to mimic the Snapchat filter on his tweet. “That one.”

“Yeah. Seriously, yes. You got like, big shit coming your way?” Rome uses his free hand to run his fingers through his hair.

“...Are you- are you asking me for material nonpublic information?” Lukas’s grin is lopsided, he’s testing the two of you, seeing how far you’re really going to go.

“Maybe. Were you trying to get your share price up by tweeting unverifiable information outside of normal disclosure channels?” You cut in, raising your eyebrows at him, tilting your head in a way a little too close to flirting. Roman smiles at that, watches you exercise your knowledge like a proud father.

Lukas’s voice is mocking, a fake sad cartoon tone coming over it. “No, you’re not allowed to do that.” He moves his hands to his eyes, pretending to wipe his tears. “So mean.”

“Do you want this deal? Are you into it… like, at all?” Roman asks next. You’ve moved a bit from your area at the pool, following Matsson as he slowly circles the water.

“Yeah, I am. I’m just a little Swedish, you know? I’m.. into equality.” He moves nonchalantly, like this deal isn’t as serious as it is. “I like getting into bed with people, but I also like to share it equally.”

“More of a merge than a takeover.” It isn’t a question, and it isn’t directed at Lukas. You turn to Roman as you say it, verbalizing what you both were thinking. Lukas just hums, doesn’t articulate a response. Even though you all know what it would be.

“Okay. We’re just… heading to Milan to lock things down with our Dad and the bankers. And the tweet- it just didn’t feel great. If you’re hoping to blow this whole thing up, just tell me, okay?” Roman’s anxiety is back, you can see it in the tense way he’s started to move, in the higher tone of his voice.

“I just want to get myself the best. Of everything.” Lukas looks at you when he says it, darts his tongue out to lick his bottom lip. Roman’s too lost in his own head to notice it, or notice the way your breath catches in your throat.

“Yeah, I fucking get that. Definlety.” Roman moves to pull out his phone, cursing under his breath when he reads a notification. “I uh- have to take a call really quickly. I’ll be in the boat, it shouldn’t take too long. Okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll give her a tour.” Lukas shrugs, sounding indifferent. Rome nods at him, then you, and quickly takes off towards the dock, already lifting the phone up to his ear as he walks.

You watch him leave, round the corner and leave your line of vision before turning to Lukas, face neutral save for a hint of a smile. He’s less composed than you, smiling broadly and staring into your eyes. He walks closer to you, wraps his arm around the small of your back.

“Wanna show me around?” You raise your eyebrows in question, slightly rocking back and forth on your feet. He sighs quietly, nods, and moves to extend an arm for you to hold.

“There’s really not much to see. Your average rich person house.” You hold his arm, walking with him into the villa as he speaks.

The interior is nice. Well, you’re sure it cost several million dollars to furnish, but that was the standard you were used to. It’s Italian inspired with a few modern elements. You take note of the high end appliances everywhere you go. A thousand dollar air purifier, a ten thousand dollar toilet, a hundred thousand dollar refrigerator. Lukas really did want the best for himself. The downstairs looks strangely perfect, like there wasn’t really anyone living there. Everything is clean and immaculate, no traces of human life. This trend continues into the upstairs, only stopping when he shows you the primary bedroom. His bedroom.

It’s simply decorated, a bed, desk, dresser. A large TV mounted on the wall across from his bed, nightstands, some artwork on the walls. There are a few large windows on the farthest side of the room, offering a view to the lake. Most things are black, or gray, with a few navy blue accents here and there. You had slipped off your shoes when walking around the house, now you let the fall to the floor from dangling on your finger. Stepping into the room, you walk until you round the bed, seeing a camping sleep matt rolled up and leaning on a wall. The sight brings a little smile to your face before you turn to Lukas’s desk, fingers grazing softly against the wood of it.

He has a Macbook laying on it, a pair of over-ear headphones sitting next to it. There’s a cup with a few pencils and pens, a box of tissues. It’s not much, but it’s something. Above his desk sit a few wall mounted bookshelves, made of the same wood. The books on them are mostly motivational, shit that he definitely hasn’t read. One thing does catch your eye though, an older coding textbook written in Swedish. It looks worn, the spine cracked and the pages wrinkled. Your fingers move to trace along the row of books, following them until the shelf ends and you meet the wall behind it.

“I like it. Very you.” You move your gaze back to Lukas, who’s been leaning in the doorway, watching you explore.

“Very me?”

“It’s exactly what I pictured.” You walk up to him as he steps inside, right at the foot of the bed, just a few inches apart. “Have you really been sleeping on a mat on the floor?”

“Yeah…” You wrap your hands around the back of his neck as his sentence trails off and he moves to grab your hips, closing the distance between you.

“Lukas, just sleep on the mattress. Your back is gonna get all fucked up.”

“Probably. I just- I don’t trust it. I want something I know is good, you know?” His reasoning makes you roll your eyes.

“It’s better than a camping mat.”

“Hey- that’s the best camping mat money can buy.”

Your hand moves to cup his face, bringing him to you and planting a light kiss on his mouth. He tries to deepen it, follows your face when you pull away, looks like a sad puppy when you deny him.

“So you haven’t used the mattress at all…?” You smirk, quirking your eyebrows teasingly.

“Not yet…” Lukas grins, his eyes traveling from yours to your lips. “Why? Do you wanna help me break it in?”

You don’t answer, just smile, roll your eyes playfully, and move away from him. You turn so your back is facing the bed, and with all the drama you can muster, flop down onto the mattress. It cushions your fall nicely, though you do get left a bit breathless and giggly. Your knees dangle off the side of the bed, feet almost grazing the ground as you kick your legs.

“It’s really not bad.” You don’t bother raising your head, just direct your words to him knowing he’ll hear. “Not the best, but definitely ‘trustworthy.’” Laughing when he sighs in response, you throw your arms up and stretch theatrically.

You feel a hand on your knee, spreading your thighs wider apart. He slots himself between your legs, moves his hand to your waist, and pulls you quickly to him. The bed is high enough that your hips meet each other roughly, a gasp escaping your mouth at the sudden pressure on your vulva. Lukas is already half hard, and making the most subtle movements to grind you perfectly against his cock.

“Lukas… Roman is just outside…” You’re already a bit breathless, still allowing him to rub against you as you speak. He leans close to you, tall frame bending at the waist to brush his lips against your ear, still keeping his hips flush to your as he moves.

“I guess we’ll have to be quick then.” He places a kiss to your jawline, starting a messy trail down your neck. Lukas pauses to nip the slope of your shoulder. “And you’ll have to be quiet.”

He lifts his head, eyes staring straight into yours, and waits for your response. Your lips are already parted, breath coming quick and cheeks flushed with desire. The lust clouds your judgment, as it always seems to do with Lukas. Impulse takes over and, with a hand threaded into his hair, you pull his mouth to yours roughly.

It’s rushed and powerful. All teeth and tongue, no time for being gentle, no time for romantics. You bite his lip, he groans into your open mouth. Your legs move around his hips, keeping his body close as he ruts against your clothed core. His movements started soft and teasing, but now he’s fully thrusting against you, rough and wanting. It feels hard and hot, has your eyes shutting and your mouth whimpering. You love being close to him like this, hearing his panting in your ear, his lips on your throat, his chest pressed to yours. But it’s not quite enough.

“Fuck Lukas, I need more.” He pulls his head from his attack on your throat, looks at you with a grin on his face.

“You need more?” You nod, a little frantically with a small hum. “Look at you, asking for things. Tell me what you want.”

You’re a bit hesitant, cheeks still red from the vulgarity of your situation. Your mouth opens and then closes again, biting your lower lip as you try to find the right words. His hand comes to your chin, fingers pressing into your cheeks as he forces your eye contact with him.

“Tell me what you want.”

“I just want to feel you- really feel you.” Honestly, you don’t know exactly what you want. You’re so needy, you can feel how uncomfortably wet you’ve gotten and just need some kind of satisfaction. “You can fuck me.”

He shakes his head, still smiling. “No, not yet. I have plans for that, it’ll be special.” His words are a little shocking, but turn you on even more.

“Please Lukas. I need you.” Your voice is barely a whisper, laced with want. The motion of his hips has stopped and you feel yourself desperately grind yourself against him for some relief. His hands move to your hips to hold you in place, releasing the grip on your chin.

“I’m not taking your virginity in a quickie where I can’t even get you naked. And you need to be able to walk after this.” He moves and pushes your dress up, exposing the lower half of your body. “Here you’ll like this.”

Your panties are soaked. His gaze moves down and he notices, gives a small chuckle, runs a finger up your clothed slit. It makes you shudder and whine deeply in your throat as a response. Hooking a finger around both sides of your panties, he pulls the fabric off with one quick motion, dropping them to the floor when he’s finished. He moves from between your thighs briefly, causing you to instinctively shut your legs. Lukas pulls down his pants then, just enough to expose his cock, hard and leaking already.

He moves back, uses a hand to gently spread your legs as the other grips the base of his cock. He’s so close, his dick hovering just above your cunt. Your eyes go wide with anticipation, a light gasp escapes from your lips. Then, Lukas moves. His hips angle downwards and, using his hand to guide his cock, he gently rubs his length over your slit. The feeling is immediately intense. It’s wet and strong and burning, and when his tip touches your clit you swear your vision goes white. You really can’t help the moan that escapes you, it’s Lukas that caused it.

“Shhh… I know, I know. But you don’t want someone to hear.” He leans over you, presses a light kiss to your mouth and grabs one of your hands. Moving your hand over your mouth, he helps you press your palm to your lips, muffling the noises coming from your lips. You nod in response, keeping your hand there when he moves his away, gripping back on to your hips to hold you in place. “Don’t want everyone to know how I’m corrupting you.”

Another moan leaves your mouth at that, luckily much quieter due to your palm. Your free hand flys down, grips over his on your hip. He keeps moving, parting your lips and spreading wetness across your pussy, hitting your clit perfectly with each thrust. A curse leaves his throat when your back begins to arch, the white hot feeling in your cunt growing fast. You can almost feel the restraint leaving his body, feel the roll of his hips getting heavier, harsher. A tear rolls down your cheek, your eyes wet with the sheer strength of this new pleasure you’re experiencing.

“Fuck, you’re doing so good, so quiet for me.” Lukas’s accent is thicker now, his head tipping back in pleasure as he ruts against you with abandon, chasing his climax. “So fucking beautiful like this.”

That’s all it really takes for you to fall apart, cumming on his cock. Your orgasm hits in a wave, making your thighs shake and eyes squeeze shut in ecstasy. You’re incredibly glad for the hand on your mouth as it muffles the high moan that leaves your lips. You don’t see him with your eyes shut, but the groans you hear let you know that Lukas is not far behind you. A few mascara stained tears run from your eyes when you open them again, your gaze being met with Lukas’s head tilted toward the ceiling, his mouth open in pleasure.

His cock moves from your cunt, positioning over your lower stomach. His hand moves, jerking himself roughly as he looks down to meet your eyes. Your hand moves from your mouth, and you sit up a bit as you reach for him, fingers coming to rest on his hip to keep him close to you. Another low curse falls from his mouth, and with a gravely groan he cums. White ropes shoot across your stomach, resting on your skin warmly. You whimper in sympathy, watching as he twitches and bucks against his hand recklessly.

Lukas’s chest rises and falls quickly, breath coming fast and deep as his orgasm washes over him. When his eyes reopen, he’s quick to pull you up to meet his mouth with a burning kiss. The kiss isn’t long, but when you pull away he rests his forehead against yours, eyes shut and breathing slowly returning to normal. You stay that way for a while, just close and quiet. A few moments pass, and when he moves to stand back up you take the time to dart your hand down and gather up some of the cum on your pelvis, licking it off your finger as you raise it to your mouth.

He quietly laughs, blissed out and smiley. “You love that, don’t you?”

“Mhm. I don’t know- ‘just makes me feel close to you.” He kisses you again, softly this time, almost proud.

“I’m making a monster. First you ask me to fuck you and now you’re swallowing my cum.” He moves to his dresser, retrieving a hand towel as you sit on the bed, careful to not let any of his spend drip onto the sheets.

“Why didn’t you fuck me?” Your head tilts as you ask. He moves to kneel in front of you, gently wiping the cum from your skin as he answers.

“I told you, I’m gonna make it special for your first time.”

“Bold of you to assume I’ll even let you be my first time, now that you’ve rejected me.” It’s playful and he knows it, grinning up at you as he moves to wipe the wetness from the inside of your thighs.

“It wasn’t a rejection, it was a postponing.” Lukas stands, quickly cleaning off before tucking himself away and turning to look for your panties. “And who else would it be? Are you cheating on me?”

“No, but I can’t cheat on you if weren’t not together.” He pauses at that, head cocking as he makes eye contact with you.

“We aren’t together?”

“You haven’t asked me!”

“I thought it was self-evident. You don’t need to ask if it’s already obvious.” Lukas stoops to grab your panties from the floor, moving to hand them to you.

You accept the fabric in an outstretched hand, setting it on the bed next to you. “Well, I would like you to ask. Make it official.”

He gives a dramatic sigh, reaches out and grabs your hands to pull you to standing. Lukas holds your hands, smiles and looks into your eyes. “Will you date me?”

You think about teasing him, making him wait, but your excitement gets the best of you and you release your answer quickly. “Yes, I will date you, Lukas Matsson.”

Your kiss is domestic and cheesy, after you separate he pulls you back into his body, rests his chin on your head for a while while he holds you close. You end up leaving your panties with him, they're still too wet to wear comfortably. Lukas helps you fix your makeup and hair, and you check to make sure your lip gloss isn’t all over his mouth (it was). He fastens your shoes back on for you, kneeling in front of you so you don’t have to bend over with your still shaky legs. He holds your hand until you reach outside and you put some space between yourselves as you enter public once more.

Roman is just finishing his call when you get back to the boat, waving at you as he quickly hangs up. You give Lukas a handshake, Rome just shouts his goodbye from a distance, and you quickly speed off again across the lake as soon as you enter the boat. Once again separated, you swear you immediately feel heavier without Lukas’s presence.

Your brother thinks the deal is fucked, he makes that clear when you’re alone again. He half blames you, half blames himself. Either way, he’s scared shitless to tell your dad about Matsson’s merge idea. So it’s a major shock when you arrive in Milan and Logan is receptive to the proposal. He praises Roman openly for once, and even commends you on your role in negotiating the deal.

But good things don’t tend to stay good for long in your family. You know something’s wrong when Logan calls you and Shiv into his office abruptly, right before your meeting with the bankers is supposed to begin. It honestly doesn’t surprise you as much as some would think to learn Roman had been sexting Gerri. You try to defend him against Shiv’s attacks, but it doesn’t do much good, not when the evidence is sitting in front of you. At the very least, you make some kind of progress covering for Gerri, reminding your dad of her loyalty.

Things are weird and fucked the next day. The night before Comfrey had texted you to let you know that Kendall was in the hospital. She wouldn’t say what happened, just that they were keeping him overnight and he was okay. You texted your siblings but everyone was skirting around the answer with you. They knew you cared about Kendall, maybe too much, and that telling you he had nearly drowned (possibly by his own doing) would set you off like a firework.

You wanted to go visit Kendall the next day, or be there when he arrived at the villa, or just do something to help him out. But he didn’t answer your calls and all the information you were given was extremely vague. You weren’t invited to Caroline’s wedding ceremony, so you planned on staying in bed and Facetiming with Lukas all day, waiting for a response from your brother. Your day starts off that way, sleeping in and chatting with your boyfriend into the late morning, but then Lukas tells you about Gojo’s market cap. You knew he was good, you knew he was doing all he could to get the market in Gojo’s favor, but you never expected it’s worth would surpass Waystar’s.

It’s no surprise that your dad ends up calling you, recruiting you to join him on a trip to Matsson’s. When he tells you he’s considering not inviting Roman, you manage to convince him to bring him too, citing his friendship with Matsson as a cause. So you head to Lake Maggiore, again, and arrive at Lukas Matsson’s villa, again. The excitement you feel when seeing him is shrouded in the anxiety of the sudden meeting.

You feel like every glance between the two of you is obvious. The way he parts his lips, the way your eyes drift across his frame, it’s all unmistakable of two lovers.

Lukas leads the three of you to an outdoor area on his grounds and when the conversation starts, his intent is clear. He didn’t tell you he wanted to buy Waystar, well he may have hinted at it, but it still feels like a bit of a betrayal. Like a shock. Even worse of a shock, Logan doesn’t immediately hate it, not in his usual way.

“Yeah. This is not happening.” The rage isn’t there behind Logan’s words. His gaze drifts to Roman, then back to Matsson. Lukas raises his eyebrows.

“Okay, I see that. Understood. But, you want to stick around? See if the old deal still has shape? Side snacks?” Logan smiles, he actually smiles, at Matsson’s offer. “You have that Israeli AI operation I might like. Maybe an asset swap sort of thing?”

“Why not.” The eye contact between Lukas and your dad is never ending. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. “Rome, you should head back. For your mom, and everything.”

“Yeah, sure thing.” Roman looks to you, motions with his thumb in the general direction of the dock. “Do you wanna…?”

“I’m not going to the wedding. Not invited.” You offer a small smile, look to Logan for reassurance.

“We’ll catch up with you later, Romulus.”

Roman is dejected. An intruder, again. An outsider in the deal he’s worked so hard on, the deal he partially started. “Alright. Hate to miss the big nuptials! So… yeah. I’ll just go do that then…” He’s hesitant to go, pats you on the leg as he leaves, Dad on the shoulder.

They wait to start speaking again until well after he’s left, and when they do it’s straight to business. Your dad wants to sell. Lukas wants to buy. You’re the reluctant bridge between. Things move inside, to a formal dining room, and the real discussion begins. Numbers start to fly, calls get made, lawyers begin flying out. You end up doing more work than you meant to, arguing for both GoJo and Waystar. Trying desperately to keep all the men in your life happy. At the same time, you’re conflicted. You know your siblings will hate this deal, you know how badly they want to inherit the company, how hard they’ve worked for one of them to eventually be CEO.

But the thing is, you don’t hate the deal. You were never going to lead Waystar, never going to be more than the founder’s child. You’re the youngest Roy sibling, a woman, and from a different marriage than the others. There was no chance of you ever being number one, and you knew that from the day you were born. So why not sell the company? You don’t want to dedicate your entire life to this soul crushing work. At the same time, you care so much for your family, more than you do for yourself. This would wreck your siblings, they wanted Waystar more than they wanted life itself. Even if being family owned fucks you, it means the world to them.

When you finally leave Lukas’s, it’s well past the wedding ceremony, and it’s clear Dad doesn’t intend on joining the afterparty. The operation moves to Logan’s villa. The cavalry marches in, dressed in designer suits and holding briefcases stuffed with Macbooks. There’s dozens of people you’ve never even met swarming around a huge table. It doesn’t even feel real, like you’re watching a dream, or a nightmare, play out in front of you. You retire to your dads private office, curl up on a leather upholstered couch and just think. You know you should tell your siblings. Siobhan and Roman have been blowing up your phone for hours, you haven’t had the heart to answer. Your dad would kill you if you reached out. Ostracize you like Roman, or disown you like Kendall. Your brain feels like a whirlpool, your thoughts flying around enough to give you a headache. You turn to the only person you can think of.

“Hi.”

“...”

“Are you okay?” Lukas’s voice is genuinely worried, silence isn’t normal in the conversations between you two. You hear a rustling on the other line like he’s stood up.

“I don’t really know. I wish you were here.”

“What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“I feel like a traitor.”

“Why?”

“My siblings… you know they will hate this deal.” You stress the word hate, voice a little bit breathless with anxiety.

“I do.” His voice is quiet, almost whispering as he speaks to you.

“They would rather die than sell Waystar. But I-” You sigh, swallow thickly. “I almost agree with Dad. I think this is a good move for us. Not just because I’m fucking the guy who’s buying the company.”

“Well then, why do you agree?”

“If we don’t sell, we’re gonna get swallowed whole. All we have is the content, not the platform to back it up, not new technology to keep us relevant.”

“That’s all true.” Lukas’s voice gets a little louder, his sentences trailing off a bit as he prompts you to keep talking.

“But even if we had that, even if we were doing better, we were more stable…”

“You still would want to sell?” He already knows what’s on your mind. Of course he does.

“I think so… I mean, I will never be CEO. Not if we’re family owned, not if we’re owned by GoJo, never. And I don’t want to spend my life in this company, especially if I’m not running it.” Your head tips back against the wall you’re leaning on. You’re hiding away in a bathroom, your voice echoing a bit as it bounces off the marble walls. “This work… it fucking destroys people.”

“It sounds like you already know what you think.”

“But Shiv and Roman and Kendall… They want the company so badly. They’ve been prepped to run it since they were kids. Even if they kill each other for CEO, at least one of them would get what they wanted.” You’re louder now, voice still stressed but frustration peaking through.

“You need to stop wasting your life making other people happy. You would do anything for your family, and they wouldn’t do shit for you.” Lukas’s tone isn’t angry or yelling, it’s stating a fact.

“That’s not true-”

“Is it? I see you go above and beyond for them every single day, and they never spare you a second glance.” Lukas’s voice is almost pleading when he speaks next. “Think about yourself, for once. Please.”

“Thank you.” Your eyes are brimmed with tears, your fingers coming up to brush them away quickly. “I will.”

There’s a small pause before he talks again. “Are you mad I didn’t tell you about buying Waystar?” You laugh, breathlessly, at the simpleness of his question after all you’ve just talked about.

“No, I’m not mad. I was shocked…but I think it’s worn off. You’re just doing what’s best for you.”

“Yeah, yeah I am.”

“I think you’re really smart actually. If I was in your position I’d do the same thing.” You move from your stance against the wall to look in the mirror, checking to fix any smudged mascara.

“That’s what I thought. I asked myself what you would do.”

“No, you did not.”

“No, I did not. I did think about how it would affect you though.”

“Thank you for that.” It’s half sarcastic, but you know he really does care for you.

“You’re welcome.”

“I’ll talk to you later today.”

“Okay. Come visit soon.” Lukas ends like he always does, asking for your presence.

“I’ll try.”

It takes you a minute to compose yourself. Fix your hair, wipe off some of your fucked up concealer, blow your nose. You exit the bathroom, walk down the hall and down some stairs, finally arriving in front of the massive wooden doors leading to your dad’s office. Your brain is finally quieter now, thoughts forming clearer and headache fading quickly. You slip a small smile to the bodyguard, Colin, who opens the door for you to enter.

Your three siblings are there, backs facing the door as they stare down Logan, who’s just moved to press a button on the phone resting against his desk. Their heads snap to you. The door shuts behind you. Siobhan opens her mouth, but you speak before she does.

“What’s going on? When did you get here?”

“What’s going on? You know what’s going on, Dad is selling and fucking our entire lives up.” Shiv faces you, her eyes are daggers and her body is a rocket about to explode. “And you didn’t tell us.”

“No, he’s not fucking your lives up. It’s not the end of the world, Shiv.” You approach them, eyes wide and pleading.

“So you do know. You knew he was selling the company and you didn’t think ‘Hmm maybe I should tell my siblings this, you know, since they’ve spent their entire lives thinking they were going to run Waystar!’” Roman throws his hands up, his jaw is clenched and his eyes are watering.

“Do you think it would’ve made a difference?” Your voice drops, both in tone and volume. “Do you really think I have any sort of control? Any say in what happens?”

Everyone is quiet for a moment, Kendall won’t make eye contact with you. Logan is watching you intently before gazing at his other children’s faces.

“I have never, and will never, be number one. I will never have control over the company, I will never even have control over one branch of the company. I will never be CEO, I won’t even make it to CFO, because I will always be lower than you. And I will always be there for you to yell at and use and manipulate. You already fucking do!” You’re more angry than sad now, maybe it’s misdirected, but you’re too wound up to care. “For once in my life, I’m thinking about myself. And I will not let this shit, this work, destroy me like it has destroyed you.”

A few tears spill from your eyes, you don’t bother to wipe them up, just continue your eye contact with your siblings. You’re right and everyone knows it, from Gerri and Karl sitting on the couch to Logan in front of you. Shiv can’t hold your gaze anymore, she drops her eyes to the ground. Roman turns to your Dad, his eyes are wide and desperate.

“Please?” His voice is meek, barely a whisper.

“‘Please?’ You bust in here with guns, but now that you find they’ve turned to fucking sausages, you want to say ‘please?’” Logan moves from where he was half-sitting on the arm of a couch to stand in front of your siblings. “You should have trusted me.”

“Dad, why?”

“Oh you need me to tell you why? Like your sister didn’t already? But your too fucking ashamed to admit she’s right.” He begins walking to the door, past your siblings, pausing at you to put a hand on your shoulder. “Because it works. I fucking win. Now go on, go on, fuck off you nosey fucking pedestrians.”

The doors open, Logan is immediately tasked with papers to sign and business to attend to. Roman moves to Jerri, asks her something you don’t quite hear from the blood rushing in your ears, before moving back to the crowd of your siblings. Roman crumples to the floor, Kendall with his hands on his shoulders, Shiv next to them. You turn to see Tom entering, him offering you a weak smile as he passes.

“I’m glad you’re okay, Kendall.” Your voice is monotone. Ken looks up at you, opens his mouth to say something, then decides against it. Tom starts speaking to Shiv, but you don’t hear what he says, already turning to walk out the doors, to head back to your hotel suite, to head away from your family.

You stay on the phone with Lukas the rest of that night. You can’t sleep but you don’t want to be awake. He eases the pain. He says he’s proud of you. He cares more than anyone you’ve known.

When you finally fall asleep in the early morning hours, you dream of space. You’re a cosmonaut, dancing on Saturn’s rings, playing baseball with meteors. The darkness is liminal, and pure, and calm. And the constellations are breathing around you, lighting your lawless orbit. You break the trail of a comet, its fire dotting the sky like a stitch on black cloth. Venus is a stray dog, following you wherever you lead it, spinning for attention and praise. Stars flicker like faces, you can’t recognize who they are anymore.

When you touch the Earth, everything sings.

#ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction #succession #succession fanfic #alexander skarsgard #lukas matsson #lukas matsson x reader #lukas matsson x you #lukas matsson x oc #lukas matsson x ofc #lukas matsson smut #lukas matsson fic #lukas matsson fanfic #lukas matsson imagine #snow’s fics #a body of impulses #smut

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dokidokitsuna · 3 months

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RWBY: Next Steps

This is just a design collection (remember when I used to do those? 'Winter Mission', 'Summer Tour'?? Fun times~)...and it may be my last. Its only real purpose is to give me something fun to draw for the NeverFell Projects wrap-up series. The recent Adam and Cinder designs are technically part of this collection, too. ^^

These were much harder to do than those two, though...I've spent ~2 months chipping away at this set, trying and retrying to address several different RWBY design criticisms while still making the girls look good. ಥ_ಥ I've finally begun approaching success, though, so I wanted to talk a bit about these ideas.

Ruby The only one I managed to design in one try. ^^; This was my answer to the question I felt was posed by Ruby's Vol. 7 design: i.e. "how do we do a new Ruby design that feels more 'mature'??" Because I never liked how the V7 design attempted to do that. :/

Between the new hairstyle and the new 'generic adventurer' clothes, it felt less like they were trying to evolve Ruby Rose and more like they didn't like her original design and wanted to get as far away from it as possible. V1-Ruby was such an iconic look (and STILL IS), and yet there's no trace of it in V7-Ruby. None of the goth-lolita style or playful edge that even V4-Ruby managed to preserve...instead they just scrubbed everything out to start from scratch, with a new design that's honestly 'meh' at best.

So what I did was stick closely to V1-Ruby, while adding just a few big changes to make the look distinct. You say a 'combat skirt' is too childish for an older Ruby? Well then we'll make it shorts...but shorts that are just as frilly and cute as the original skirt, with a similar overall shape. You say her original hairstyle is too boring and 'safe'? Well, then we'll change it...by simply shaving half of it off. It's a much edgier look that simultaneously preserves the original shape of her hair: from every angle except front and back, her silhouette will remain the same.

You say you want to give her new shoes, but don't want the fandom to make fun of you for covering them in dozens of belts again? Here's a wild idea: cowboy boots. ^^ A totally unexpected, unique item that still fits in with the antique-ish vibe of her goth clothes.

Basically, I just wanted to prove that you can do something dramatically different with Ruby without completely abandoning her fashion sense.

Criticisms: The details are still lacking; I think I should work some red accents into her corset and boots. Also, I originally designed this outfit with a white shirt, and I kinda want it back (she had the team colors! R, W, B, and Y! ;_;)...the problem is that it clashes with the sheer thigh-highs. One must go...I'm sure I'll figure it out

Weiss The toughest of the bunch: I did three different Weiss designs before landing on this one. ^^;;; The big epiphany came when I realized that Weiss looks her best when she mirrors Ruby. The girls' original design concepts share a lot of features; I feel like the characters were designed to look like they belong together, and figured I might as well honor that.

ALSO-- and this was the biggest priority for Weiss' design-- I firmly believe that she should not look like a princess anymore. From a character designers' perspective, it is ludicrous that they gave her the giant Disney ballgown in the same volume where they put classism at the center of the plot and have her send her bourgeoisie father to jail. That right there is the definition of mixed messages...

I thought the whole point of Weiss' character arc was to distance herself from the uber-rich parasites of her family and fellow 'Atlas elites'. I thought we cemented that when she officially lost her "heiress" title in V4. o_O I expected her next look to ditch the crown and visually show that she's past the point of 'rebelling'-- there's no more authority in her life for her to rebel against; she's free now! But alas...

So as usual, I had to do it myself. This Weiss outfit is definitely still fancy, with the coattailed vest and ruffled sleeves, but there's a lot less 'decoration'; fewer jewels, fewer details. The construction is straightforward and simple. And of course, no more tiara. Instead I decided to give her a li'l snow pea flower and ribbon, which ended up inspiring her new periwinkle purple-y color scheme. Like her original design, it's actually fairly colorful, but does its job and puts the emphasis on the white elements.

Criticisms: ...Not many, this came out pretty good. ^^ I might reconsider the black coattails, but if I do I'll probably just switch it out with the indigo inner vest. I like the idea of her outfit construction mirroring Ruby's, but her color scheme mirroring Blake's, since they have a closer bond in NeverFell.

Blake Blake designs are notoriously difficult; if you wanna hear some great reasons why, I suggest you check out this old Twiins iink RWBY design ranking video, which always helps guide me when I do redesigns for the main 4. Anyway, this phenomenon makes it hard to describe what I did...I guess you could say I tried to combine all the best elements of all her outfits, while clinging to the 'fancy action girl' vibe of her original design.

I'm most proud of her new hairstyle-- I dunno why, I just enjoyed working on it and making those decisions. ^^ It's hard to tell, but it IS shorter; now shoulder-length instead of back-length. We make up for this with additional volume, emphasizing the waves in her hair texture by pushing them outward. And most notably: she keeps the ribbon. She just wears it differently, using it to accentuate her ears instead of hiding them. This way, we keep the point of interest on her head while still showing her character growth.

Criticisms: Infinite, countless. This is a good look, but something is definitely still off. ^^;;; I think some additional detail in certain places (not sure where yet...) might help 'finish' it, so to speak. Maybe some extra yellow accents...? Also, the bow obviously gets lost in her hair this way. I've tried several color changes and don't like any of them; I think I may just have to texture it differently in the final product. Fingers crossed...

Yang Another tough one...I only made 2 design drawings, but the colors took several rounds of trial and error. I think my excitement over finally arriving at a good color scheme TODAY was what spurred me to make this post. ^^;

Anyway...there is a specific piece of Yang design criticism I hear fairly often that drives me up the wall: people commonly complain that she doesn't wear enough yellow; that she doesn't represent her character color well because all she wears is a yellow shirt. And the character designer in me wants to rip my teeth out whenever I hear this, because it blindly ignores the giant fairy-tale-inspired mass of yellow that is her hair, and the purposely attention-grabbing pops of yellow that make up Ember Celica. They're not "clothes", technically, but they're still part of the design! It's like saying a character with green skin can't represent the color green if all their clothes are black...without realizing that maybe their clothes are black BECAUSE they have green skin, in order to draw your attention to it...!! (╬▔皿▔)╯I just jifjkdsnfksahujknsjnfufh

...Anyway, anyway...the point is, it's difficult to take a character design with so much natural yellow in it and add yellow clothes and still have it read well. But because I like a challenge, I decided to take it on. I think the difference between the mustard leather and neon yellow hair is large enough to make it work, while still feeling casual enough for everyday wear. The champagne off-white she wears in her 'Hunter' outfit (which heavily inspired this) looks great, but it feels too 'classy' to me; like something specifically meant to dazzle the audience with her beauty for one special adventure, not for her to wear often.

On that note, my secondary mission with this design was just to make Yang look cute again, by following the structure of her V1 look, and even adding a little skirt on top of her battle shorts, which looks surprisingly natural considering she almost never wears one.

I don't know what happened in the canon to make the character designer forget the 'Yellow Beauty' part of her character concept; tbh even if her gender presentation gets more masculine she can still look pretty. Designs like Ozma, V7 Qrow and V4 Ren show that they understand this, but choose to cover Yang up in flavorless sheets of beige anyway. :T Making sure she always has a boob window isn't enough; the clothes themselves need to say something too.

Criticisms: ...Honestly, none? I think this might be solid. :> We'll see what happens when I draw it properly. I hope the white socks work out, because then she'll successfully be wearing the RWBY color scheme, which fits her (former, implied...) role as the glue holding the team together.

#rwby #yang xiao long #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #character design

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lunas-side-anime-blog · 3 months

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aot veteran/104 corp icks bc im back on my bullshit

someone requested AOT veteran icks, they didn't specify nsfw or not so I did both and also added sasha connie and jean bc i luv them:) feel free to message/inbox with requests!

(levi, erwin, hange, jean, sasha and connie)

Levi

will visit ur place and organize things without you asking. he'd just be like "ur welcome, now your kitchen makes sense" and ur like sir, I don't know where anything is now??? also he'd def the type to proclaim he's better than you for only getting two hours of sleep when you got four. honestly so many icks come to mind for this one, imma limit it to those two for now (stay tuned lol)

nsfw: tries to be rough with you but forgets his own strength. will try to throw you on the bed, but he does it too hard so you completely miss the bed and fall on the other side of it and he's just standing there like "🧍🏻...my bad."

Erwin

you cannot convince me this man doesn't wear water shoes at the pool. you guys say you want a dilf until you actually get one bc this is the type of shit it entails^^

nsfw: erwin cannot dirty talk for shit. im srry but if you're a lil kinky this isn't the man for you. try to call him daddy and he'd be like "we don't have kids?" and you explain the kink to him and he'd just say, "have you considered therapy?🤨" now he's concerned, boner gone, you feel called out, just go to sleep tbh

Hange

they're def a firm believer in natural deodorant and won't take the graceful hints that it's not working. prob wouldn't chill w them on a hot day is all i'm saying

nsfw: feel like they'd be really good in bed tbh like i'm struggling to think of an ick. hange has big dick energy, weirdos just do it better idk. i think maybe hange would try to spit in your mouth (they a freak) and they have so much and its thick and globby like the back of the throat type spit, your gonna choke bro im gagging as a i type-

Jean

bring back toxic masculinity because Jean's hair care routine is so good to the point he'll call out your split ends, i just know it

nsfw: a fucking chatterbox like his homies know everything. you've walked in on him telling connie in extreme detail how he had you in a full nelson last night while you screamed bloody murder and he doesn't see why ur mad. "babe, if anything i'm bragging about you 😏" fucking idiot istg. also kinda gross but I think he's the type to keep sniffing his fingers after fingering you like well into the next day EWW

Sasha

obvi she can't share for shit so I think she'd be an annoying person to eat out with. like yk when you're with your friends and only one person puts their card down so the rest can Venmo them? I think you can ask her to Venmo 20 and she'd send 15 and say something like "oh I didn't eat as many fries" but she fr did. never puts her card down either so believe it or not? jail.

nsfw: will literally be on her phone mid-sex with you. feel like she'd be really into the subway surfer vids and yeah, you go down on her and look up and she brought her own entertainment? ipad child behavior

Connie

i think he'd say "we" when talking about his fave sports team as if he contributed. like, "really connie, you helped win the superbowl? did you score a touchdown?" grow tf up

nsfw: insane bush on this one, i feel like he doesn't groom for shit and whatever, that's your choice! but I also feel like college-aged modern connie would talk shit about women who weren't bald down there and won't eat it unless it is. HYPOCRITE!! I think when he gets to his mid-twenties tho he'd mature (sasha beat his ass)

#aot headcannons #levi ackerman #levi headcanons #hange zoe #hange headcanons #erwin smith #erwin x reader #erwin headcanons #jean kirstein #jean headcanons #anime headcanons #connie springer #sasha braus #aot x reader #aot fluff #snk levi

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justmeinadaze · 7 months

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Ghost in the Machine Part 3 (Eddie X You)

Warnings: Rockstar Dom Daddy Eddie X Sub Stripper Fem reader, SMUT, dirty talk, slight choking, edging, and everything in-between, FLUFF (he genuinely likes her), ANGST, reader sees something in the tabloids that makes her jealous, someone does break into her house and she gets hurt (aftermath mentioned), Eddie talks about his childhood with his abusive dad, Y/N talks about her abuse (mentions of stepdad harassing her and previous domestic abuse).

Eddie texts reader; dialogue in red

Word Count: 6120

When you woke up the next morning, Eddie was already gone. You found a note on your nightstand, however, with some $100 bills wrapped inside.

Hey sweetheart,

I swear this won’t be a common thing of you waking up without me next to you after a night together. My agent called and said he needed us so I had to go. I wanted to wake you up to kiss you goodbye but you looked so beautiful I couldn’t do it.

I left you some cash. If it’s not enough just let me know and I can give you more. It occurred to me I actually don’t know how much you make in a night and Gareth ordered the service so…

I’ll call you later to check in. Be careful tonight at work!

Eddie

You grinned as you read his words and grabbed the money he left behind. There was a tugging in the pit of your stomach as you got up and tucked it away in your private safe place. Eddie so far didn’t seem like the other men from the club or houses you had been to. You didn’t mind taking their money because usually they were dirty jerks who only wanted one thing. Eddie seemed to genuinely care about you and it somehow felt wrong taking this from him.

Sighing, you shoved down that feeling. Like he said, this wasn’t intimate and you weren’t dating him.

“Think about it like instead of fucking other people, you are just fucking me.”

***

The first month of your arrangement with him was a bit odd. He still hadn’t fucked you nor did he try. For a man that wasn’t keen on being touched, he ran his hands over your naked body constantly.

“You’re really fucking beautiful, you know that?”

“Thank you.”, you smiled as you ran your hands through his hair while he kissed along your tummy.

“You taste amazing to. I’ve never tasted a girl as sweet as you.”

When he finally allowed you to taste him, it was heaven and you promptly floated to cloud 9 as he thrust himself down your throat.

“Look at you, pretty girl. Drunk off Daddy’s cock. Fuck… that’s it, baby. Just keep your mouth open and let Daddy use you.”

After you two were intimate, he was extremely gentle and kind. Eddie would lay beside you, his hand absently running through your hair as he told you stories about the band and crazy things that had happened on tours. He told you about some of his friends back in Indiana which led you to talking about your friends and some of the girls you had gotten close with in the business.

Sometimes he would bring over dinner or order something in and you two would curl up together and watch a movie or whatever was on the tv. You absolutely adored the funny side of his personality that always had you laughing.

The reality of your situation, however, came crashing down while you were scrolling through your phone one evening and an article caught your eye.

“Guitarist of Corroded Coffin seen out on the town with model! Get all the details here!”

“Is that why he hasn’t fucked me? Is it because he’s seeing someone? He never mentioned having a girlfriend. Who cares?! No, Y/N, no! You can’t be jealous!”

In the picture they posted he seemed annoyed as he tried to block their pictures with his hand. Around her shoulders was a jacket you recognized as his and your heart fell.

Your phone dinged and his text filled your screen.

“Hey princess! I’ve been thinking about you all day. When are you free again so we can hang out?”

Your finger hovered over the message as you debated on whether to reply or not.

“No. I need to shake this feeling first and then I’ll message him. I can’t be jealous. He’s not mine.”

##############

“Hey baby. Haven’t heard from you. I hope you’re alright.”

“Y/N, I’m really worried now. It’s been two days and I know you’re reading my messages. At least let me know if you’re ok.”

“We had an arrangement. You’re supposed to be open with me, Y/N.”

“Don’t play this game with me, little girl. You won’t win.”

That last message came through at two in the morning as you lied in bed wide awake still trying to shake the anger you felt when it came to him and this girl. Eddie had called and texted you so many times and honestly it was killing you to not answer. You missed him.

“Come on, honey. Shake it off. You’re heading into the snake pit.”

You mentally pump yourself up as you step up to the curtain, preparing to go out on to the stage and dance.

“Hey baby. Just so you know we changed your song so this next one is a bit slower…sensual. I don’t fucking know.”

“Tommy! You can’t just change my music like that!”

“HEY! This man paid a lot of money asking to see you dance to this specific song so you’ll fucking do it if you want to get paid.”

You grumble at your boss, closing your eyes as you exhale and try to get back into your dancer headspace. As the music begins to play, you feel yourself momentarily knocked out once more as the band you showed Eddie that first night he came over began to play.

“I feel myself go insane I've got a lot I cannot say For too long, I bide my time I'll say I'm fine.”

As you stepped out, the regulars hoot and holler but only one person grabs your attention as he sits at the end of the stage with his arms folded, eyes burning into yours.

“I watch you float on, float on For too long, I've been too fake Pretend to be, all that you need

So tell me the truth, my baby, baby Is it me, is it you?”

Eddie cockily smirks, feeling victory at rattling you after you disappeared on him for a few days. You can’t let him win, sauntering around the stage like you had done a million times but making sure to add extra sways of your hips when your body faces his. You decide to play with him, showing him how strong and confident you really are as you place your back against the pole and sink down slowly onto your heels as you open your legs to him.

His eyelids flutter slightly as your panties barely cover your sex but he quickly regains his composure as he sits up straighter.

“The image stuck inside my mind Your body trapped in space and time For too long, I dream of you All that you do.”

Smirking, you crawl forward on your hands and knees till you’re right in front of him. God, you missed his smell. You close your eyes as you flip onto to your back and your head hangs over the end, your hair just barely touching his legs as you inhale the mixture of cigarettes and strong cologne.

“I watch you float on, float on For too long, I contemplate I try to be all that you need.

So tell me the truth, my baby, baby Is it me, is it you?”

Pulling a pack of a cigarettes out of his pocket, you roll on to your stomach as he puts the stick between his teeth. His hands nonchalantly try to search for his lighter but right as your eyes meet, you lift your hand and light the one you saw on the table in front of him. Eddie grins as you bite you bottom lip and he leans towards the flame to light his vice.

As the song comes to an end, you walk off stage as your money is collected and handed to you a few moments later.

“I’m going home, Tommy.”

“Excuse me, you still have one more show to put on.”

“Doc my pay then. I don’t fucking care.” You quickly gather your earnings from the evening and slide on your jeans before heading out the back door where the dancers park.

“Hey princess.” You jump as Eddie startles you, already reaching for your pepper spray as he chuckles and brings the cigarette in his hands to his lips. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Quite frankly, I thought you were dead. I haven’t heard from you in a while.”

“Yeah, I, um, I’ve been kind of busy.”

Eddie laughs again as he takes a few steps closer to you.

“Didn’t I tell you I hate liars, little girl?”

Obviously, you were lying but for some reason him calling you out on it made you angry.

“I’m not lying.”

“Oh? What were you busy doing, if I may ask?”

“You may not. I’m not your fucking girlfriend, Mr. Munson. I don’t have to report to you.”

“You’re right you’re not but you are my friend and when you disappeared…I got worried.”

He was being so sincere and to know someone out in the world actually cared if something happened to you made your heart beat faster for him. Taking a few steps closer, his chocolate eyes continued to scan you over as he tried to figure out what you were thinking.

“Aw, poor rockstar is so desperate for companionship he thinks a girl he pays money to fuck is his friend? Oh wait, we do everything but…my fault.”

As he takes his last steps, he tosses his cigarette to the side as his face hovers over yours.

“Is that what this is about? Whore is so needy for my fucking dick she ignores me? We had a deal, little girl. You spend time with me and open up to me; I fucking pay you. I could have any woman I want, Y/N, but I chose you.”

“Well, don’t I feel fucking special. Do you say poetry like that to you girlfriend?”

Eddie’s head tilts to the side as genuine confusion flashes through his eyes.

“Girlfriend? What girlfriend? Y/N between recording, photoshoots, interviews, and tours I don’t have time for a girlfriend.”

“You manage to make time for that model. What’s her name? Ashley Morris?”

You watch as understanding fully comes crashing down on his face as he exhales heavily through his nose and places his hands on his hips.

“You said you wouldn’t get jealous.”

“I’m not.”

“STOP…stop lying to me, Y/N.”

“Maybe…maybe it should have just been sex. Spending time with you and talking to you…it’s confusing things… I mean seeing me just then showing my body to everyone…did that not bother you?”

Crossing his arms, he turned his head to glare in any other direction.

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Now who’s fucking lying.”, you growl as you wave him off with your hand and get in your car to go home alone.

############

“Yeah, hello?”, Eddie grumbles as he answers the phone call that just woke him up from a peaceful drunk induced sleep.

“E-Eddie?”

The metalhead sat up in bed when he heard the panic in your voice.

“Y/N? What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Someone broke into my house and tried to steal my stuff. I managed t-to fight them off and the cops are coming but I-I’m scared. Eddie I didn’t know who else to call.”

While you were talking, he scrounged around his room for his sneakers and a shirt.

“Baby, it’s okay. Everything’s ok. I’ll be there in 10.”

***

When Eddie parked his van, a cop car was already there and your front door was wide open. He sprinted into the house to find you sitting at your dining room table. As soon as you saw him, you got up and wrapped your arms around his waist as he pressed your face to his chest.

“Ok, Miss Y/L/N, I think we have everything we need here. I would recommend heading to the hospital so they can look you over—”

“No, that won’t be… I have some medical stuff here.”

The officer nods before pausing as his eyes glance over the metalhead. “Holy shit. You’re Eddie Munson from Corroded Coffin! Dude, I am a huge fan. Would you mind signing my notepad here?”

“I would mind. Are you fucking serious? This girl just went through something traumatic and you have the nerve to ask me for my autograph in her kitchen?! Get out of here, man!”, he shouts as he points towards your door. Following behind them, he quickly closes and locks it tight. “Let me look at you, Y/N.”

His rough, calloused hands cup your face as he looks at the small cut along your cheek before his thumbs come down to caress the bruises starting to form on your forearms.

“He tried to hold me down after I hit him with my bat. They got in a swing before I kicked him in his balls and he ran off.” Your watery eyes met his as you continued. “I’m sorry. Like I said, I didn’t know who to call.”

“Hey. I’m glad you called me. You have no reason to be sorry, honey. Here, go sit in your bed and I’m going to grab some things here.”

Nodding, you do what he says and after a few minutes he reappears with some supplies.

“I’ll call someone for you tomorrow to come by first thing and fix your front window. Turn your head for me, Y/N.” After exposing your cheek, you wince as he cleans your wound. “I know, baby. It fucking sucks.” He becomes silent for a moment as he dutifully continues his task. “When I was a kid, sometimes I would do this for my mom. I would hear her crying in her room after my dad left and I would run in trying to make her feel better.”

Your head swiveled slowly to scan his face as he put down the rag and place the frozen bag of vegetables on your arm, holding it still with his palm.

“Ashley Morris is a friend, Y/N. She’s not my girlfriend or anything like that. She just broke up with her actual boyfriend and needed someone to vent to. I guess one of the waiters called the tabloids and told them we were there. Ashley may be a model but she’s extremely shy and since she was feeling so vulnerable I gave her my jacket and walked her to her car so she’d feel safe.”

Alternating the bag, he switched it to your other arm and finally lifted his gaze to meet your eyes.

“I meant what I said. I’m so fucking busy, I don’t have time for a girlfriend but Y/N…I make time for you because I like you. I like spending time with you and talking to you. Did it make me jealous seeing all those creeps eye fucking you? Yeah, a little but when I watched you dance…I realized…you only had eyes for me.” You can’t help but blush at his comment and he smiles at your response.

“Y/N, if you want to keep our thing here I’m all for it but you can’t disappear like you did. I need you to be open and honest with me. I need you to trust me…and maybe I need to be a bit clearer. I’m not fucking anyone else nor do I want to. You’re MY baby girl and I’m YOUR Daddy, honey.”

Abruptly, you leaned forward to kiss his lips.

“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll try to be more open.” Eddie nods as he tosses the bag on your end table and starts cleaning up the small mess he made in front of you. “Why haven’t you fucked me yet?”

The metalhead chuckles as he reaches out to brush some of your hair away from your face.

“I like to take my time especially when it comes to you. You have the most beautiful fucking body I have ever seen, sweetheart, and…”, he pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts. “In the past, I’ve had women fuck me and I never hear from them again. I imagine you’ve experienced the same thing. I want to know you’re all in before I give you what you’re craving.”

“What I’m craving?”, you giggle. “What about you? You’re not craving me just as bad?”

Eddie licks his lips as his grin grows. “Baby, I dream about how amazing it must feel to be inside of you. I jerk off thinking about it. But see the thing is, little one, you seem to need it more than me and the idea of watching you desperately beg for it…just…oh my god.”, he exhales as his eyes playfully roll back.

You light heartedly push his chest and he tilts towards you to kiss you again.

“Would you mind staying with me tonight, Daddy?”

##########

You woke up the next morning to the strong smell of bacon coming from your kitchen.

“Hey, sweetheart! How are you feeling?”

You grin at the sight in front of you as Eddie plates the eggs in the pan and slides it towards you as you take a seat at your table.

“I’m ok…a little sore.”

Gently, he lifts your arms to look at the bruising before leaning down to kiss your lips.

“We’ll put more ice on these after you eat. I did get your window fixed so you don’t have to worry about that.”, he gestured towards the glass that had previously been broken.

“Thank you.”

Eddie hums gently as he nods, taking a seat in front of you to eat breakfast as well. Your eyes watch him as he eats, smiling to yourself as he shovels eggs into his mouth. Right now, he didn’t radiate any kind of energy signaling he made millions of dollars or was famous for anything in any forum. In his black sweats and bare chest, he also didn’t appear to be the kind of man that would get off on being called Daddy. He always seemed to have this confidence surrounding him but in moments like this one he seemed…vulnerable. Maybe you could do the same…

“My dad died when I was a kid.” Eddie’s brown eyes lifted to meet yours when he hears your voice. “It was sudden and threw everyone off especially my mom. She ended up getting remarried to this asshole who wasn’t very fond of me.”

“What makes you say that?”, he asks with a gentle tone.

“Because he kept trying to fuck me and I kept turning him down.” Your tone was much more forceful than you meant it to be but he understood as he nodded to your answer. “I, uh, left as soon as I turned 18. Ran all the way across the country but I still don’t feel like I’m far enough.”

“I can understand that. I come from a small town of people who always saw me as some kind of troublemaker just because my dad was. Even though I’m here and I travel all over the world, I still feel like people see me as the dickhead’s son.”

“I’m sorry.”, you mumble as you throw him a soft smile.

“Hey.” His beautiful, ring covered hand slides across the wood to cover your own. “Thank you for being open just now.”

The rest of the morning was one of the best that you had had in a long time. You curled back up in bed and watched a movie with him on your laptop. Afterwards, you continued to lay together listening to music taking about trivial things but to him it was everything. Everything that came out of your mouth Eddie absorbed and noted as he continued to mentally study what made you who you were.

His phone went off a thousand times and every time he ignored it before finally just shutting it down entirely.

“You can go if you need to.”

“Do you want me to go?”

“No! I mean…no. I just don’t want you to get in trouble.”

Eddie chuckles as he turns onto his side to look down at you as the pads of his fingers trace along the skin of your stomach under your shirt.

“Naw, I won’t get in trouble. I’m Eddie Munson, remember? They kind of expect this behavior by now.”

“For you to be a bad boy?”, you tease.

“You like it. Speaking of bad, I still need to punish you for disappearing on me.”

“Oh?”

“Are you feeling up to it?”

Beaming up at him, you tilt your head to quickly kiss his lips. “I can handle anything you got, Daddy.”

Flashing a mischievous tooth filled grin, his fingers glide to the waistband of your panties and gently tugs them down your legs.

“I want you to keep your hands at your sides, princess. Okay? Don’t move them no matter what.”

“Yes, Daddy.”

His smile grows as he lifts your leg closest to him and places it over his hip eliciting a low mewl as his palm runs down your thigh.

“Gorgeous girl. I know a lot of people prefer tasting pussy to touching and, don’t get me wrong, babe, I could keep my face between your legs forever but there’s something about being able to feel how wet you are…”

Eddie’s digits effortlessly slip through your folds and your breath hitches when he grazes your clit. Hovering his lips just above your own, two of his large fingers breach you entrance.

“…and how tight you are. Having your little cunt just clench around me as I stretch it open.”

You moan as he begins to move, pumping them inside of you as he watches your face scrunch in pleasure.

“God, just to be this close to your beautiful face…do my fingers feel good, sweetheart?”

“S-so good, Daddy. Please.”

Eddie’s nose grazes yours before tilting down to kiss your cheek and trailing over to the shell of your ear.

“Fuck. It just makes me so hard being this close to hear those pretty moans and…” The sound of your arousal filled that room as his rhythm picked up. “…then that whine when I take it all away.” As you felt yourself about to tumble over the edge, he completely stopped moving causing you to loudly whimper in despair.

“No! No, please.” When he lifted his head again to meet your eyes, they were shimmering with amusement. “Please… I’m sorry.”

“Uh huh. I bet you are.” He began moving his fingers again, slowly building you back up. “Only good girls get to cum. You disappeared on me, Y/N. I was so worried about you.” Your eyes rolled back as your hands desperately clawed at the sheets underneath you.

Once again, just as the coil was about to snap, he stopped moving, and pulled his fingers out of you to lightly slap between your legs.

You growled in annoyance, practically throwing a tantrum as you kicked your legs like a child and pushed at his chest with your palms. He grinned down at you for a moment, long enough for you to feel like you had the upper hand before abruptly grabbing your cheeks, forcing you to face him.

“I said keep your arms at your sides no matter what. You keep disobeying and things are only going to get worse.”

You felt the anger rise in your chest. How dare he build you up like that and take away your pleasure!

“Fuck you!”

“Oh. Little girl is angry now, huh?!” He chuckled as your tantrum continued and you huffed. “We can play this game all night if you want, brat. I have no where I would rather be.”

Roughly, he lifted your leg over his hip again and you moaned as he thrust his fingers inside of you. The sudden quick action caused you to try and shift your body away from him but he was faster as grabbed your wrists, holding them above your head as he yanked you back to his side.

“What did I say before about respect, little girl? You will show me the respect I deserve. You can pout all you want but you’re just making things harder on yourself.”

Eddie brought you to the edge once more and yanked you back. He expected you to keep whining but to his slight fascination, your entire body stilled as you turned your head into his chest and began to cry.

“Y/N, what color are we at, sweetheart?”, he whispered as he lightly kissed your cheek.

“Gr-gr-green, Daddy. I’m sorry. I’m s-s-sorry I disappeared. I just…we said we wouldn’t…get jealous. I didn’t want to reply…until that feeling…was gone.”, you hiccupped.

Your hips twitched as Eddie softly began rubbing circles into your clit.

“Thank you for being honest with me, honey.” His gentle eyes scanned over your face as you continued to quietly sob in his arms. After what you told him at the table and looking at you now, he had a sudden realization that his normal punishment tactics may not work with you. Technically, it had worked. Him denying you during this punishment got you to tell him what he wanted to hear but he wasn’t sure if you understood why HE had been so upset.

As he leaned down to kiss your lips, his digits slid back into you as you moaned. Eddie released his grip on your wrists to hold your head as his kisses grew more passionate and he pumped into you faster. Breaking away from him, you panted heavily against his mouth as you felt yourself about to cum. This time, he didn’t stop or pull away. His chocolate-colored eyes locked with your own as you were finally able to tumble off that ledge, your back arching as the coil snapped.

He patiently waited for you to come back down to earth before he spoke again.

“Sometimes when my father was angry with me, he would ignore me. I always knew the shoe was going to drop hard when he was silent, I just never knew when or how bad. When I didn’t hear from you, my instinct was that you were upset about something but last time I saw you everything was fine. Then I thought because of your line of work…something bad happened to you… I’m not trying to be a clingy asshole or anything like that. I just really care about you, Y/N but you have to remember I’ve also been through some bullshit to.”

Eddie’s thumbs ran under your eyes as he dried your tears and that safe feeling washed over you again as he continued to be gentle.

“I’m sorry I said I wasn’t your friend. I care about you to. I’ve never met anyone like you before and it scares me a little bit.”

“That fight or flight kicked in?”

“Yeah.”, you beam up at him. “Eddie, I really am sorry.”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him against you, smiling wider when he rolls on top of you and leans back obnoxiously kiss your neck to your cheeks.

“Can I make it up to you, Daddy?”

When he nods, you begin to push against his shoulder to turn him on to his back but you’re startled slightly when he stops you.

“Can I fuck you?”, he whispers as he grinds his hips between your legs.

“Yeah…yes…of course.” Eddie can’t help but chuckle as you stumble over your words. It’s your turn to stop him as he reaches for his wallet to grab a condom. “I’m on the pill. I started when I started doing the service. I’m also clean. The manager at the club pays for us to get that done every other week.” You don’t know why but telling him that embarrasses you making you cover your face with your hands.

“Hey. Come on. Look at me, sweetheart.”, he coos, smiling when you drop your arms back down.

“Goddamn it. I feel like I’m about to lose my virginity again.”, you giggle. “I just…I’m nervous. I don’t want you to think I’m…dirty.”

“Y/N, you aren’t dirty because of what you do or have had to do to survive. I think you’re beautiful and confident. Fucking amazing. You are a bit of a dork but—ow!” The metalhead laughs through his teeth when you lightly hit his shoulder. “I’m just saying…there’s more to you than your occupation. Just like me. I’m, um, I’m clean to. Honestly, I haven’t had sex in a…couple of months?”

Your eyes playfully widen in surprise and he covers your face with your shirt as he lifts it over your head.

“Like I told you, people come and go from my life so quickly. Things like this matter to me and…” Eddie pauses as he shuffles out of sweats and boxers. “I don’t let just anyone call me Daddy.”

“So you’re saying I should feel special?”

He grins as he reaches between your bodies, taking hold of his cock, and slides the tip of himself along the inside of your folds, watching your face as it contorts with need.

“I think you already know how special you are, baby girl. Not a lot of women like you on this planet.”

“Fuck. Please…stop teasing me…”

“What did I say you had to do to get what your craving?”

An exasperated laugh escapes your lips making his smile grow as he grazes his nose against yours.

“Please, Daddy. I need you to fuck me. I’ve been waiting for so long to feel you inside of me. Please, let me feel you.”

After a quick peck on your lips, he pushes up on his knees, and takes hold of one of your thighs as he gradually begins guiding himself into your entrance.

“Oh, fuck.” Your breath caught in your throat as your mouth fell open. He was genuinely trying to go slow as he pushed in inch by inch but he was so big you still felt full.

“You’re doing so good, baby. We’re almost there. Just keep breathing. Fuck, you feel amazing.” His thumb rubbed gentle circles into your clit causing your eyes to flutter closed as your pussy clenched tighter around him. “Jesus fucking Christ.”

Eddie began doing little thrusts, allowing you to get used to the feel and size of him but your senses were already so overwhelmed with him. All you could see, taste, feel, smell, and hear was Eddie Munson. When he was finally fully sheathed inside of you, you couldn’t help but tear up again. As he leaned forward, your hands gripped his biceps and your legs wrapped around him to keep him as close to you as possible.

“Color, honey?”

“Green, Daddy. M-Move. Mmm…I need you to…move.”

“I am moving, princess.”

Aggressively, you shook your head preparing to throw another tantrum but Eddie caught on before you could do anything and he placed his fingers around your throat.

“Don’t be a brat, little girl. You take what I give you. Do you understand?”

“Y-Yes, Daddy.”

Licking his lips, he released you from his hold and softly kissed your cheek down to your ear. You moaned as you felt his cock drag along your tight walls till once again it was just his tip before thrusting himself all the way back inside of you.

“Is this what you needed, sweetheart?” Your eyes close as your nails trail down his back and he grunts at the sensation as he pumps into you at a steady pace. “Fuck me. Your little pussy is just clinging to me. Tell me how good it feels, baby.”

You heard him, you really did, but the English language seemed like a completely foreign concept to you as his cock kept hitting that spot inside of you that no other man had ever reached before.

Eddie lifted his head to look at your face, chuckling at the sight.

“Aw. Poor baby can’t handle how good she feels? Come on, baby girl. Open your eyes and talk to Daddy.”

It took what felt like eons for you to command your brain to tell your eyes to open but you were glad when they did when they meet his lust filled yet soft brown ones.

“My pretty girl.” His tongue danced with yours as he kissed your lips and you mewled loudly against them as he began thrusting his hips faster.

“Please, I’m gonna…”

You watched as he pushed over on one elbow and spit against the tips of his fingers before reaching down to rapidly massage your bundle of nerves.

Eddie’s intense gaze never left your face as he watched you fall apart.

“That’s it, honey. Fucking scream so everyone can hear how good Daddy’s making you feel!”

Your nails dig into his hips as the coil snapped. He winced slightly at the pain but it was nothing compared to the pleasurable feeling of your cunt squeezing him as you came.

“God fucking damn it, Y/N.” He growled he fell back on top of you and chased his high.

His hips pounded roughly into yours and you clung to him as tightly as you could till you heard him grunt in your ear and felt him release his seed deep inside you.

You were still in your fog as you closed your eyes, listening to the sounds of him roll off the bed and move about your room. You didn’t open them again until you suddenly felt the warmth of water and realized he had made you a bath.

“Are you going to sit in here with me?” Your voice was small so he knew you were still lingering in that headspace as a kindly smiled down at you and bent down on his heels.

“If that’s what you want.”

“Please?”

Eddie kissed your cheek making you grin as he climbed in behind you and laid against his chest.

“I just didn’t want to over crowd you or make you uncomfortable.”

“No… I like when you hold me.”

He continued kissing parts of your body as he helped you get clean. Eddie learned over these past few weeks he loved the way that you hummed when her played with your hair. While you sat together, he ran his fingers through it while massaging your scalp, and sighed pleasantly at the sound.

“Eddie? I really am sorry for disappearing and making you worry. I told you before I’m not good at this but I swear I am trying.”

“Thank you and I forgive you. Y/N, we’re both still learning each other but I get it. I do. I’m not great at this stuff either believe it or not. I meant what I said back there. I don’t let anyone into my world like this.”

“May I ask how many?”

“One.”

You couldn’t help but giggle but as you turned to look at his face you realized he was being serious.

“You’ve only had this arrangement with one other girl?”

“Since I became famous, I’ve only had one girlfriend I was serious with.”

“How long were you together?”

“4 years. We were dating for a year before we tried this dynamic. After we broke up, I didn’t feel comfortable showing that side of myself to strangers so any time I was intimate with someone I waited for them to say it first.”

When you nod, he encases you in his arms and kisses your temple.

“What about you?”

“You know I’ve never called anyone Daddy before.”

“No.”, he chuckles. “How many relationships have you had in your adult life?”

“I’ve…had a few here and there but…none I felt comfortable in. I think the longest relationship I’ve had is four months. He was an asshole.”

“How so?” Eddie noticed you fold into yourself slightly and his protective mode immediately kicked in. "Y/N, he never put his hands on you or anything right?”

“He was never physically aggressive but verbally he could cut me in half. He was always so obsessive and possessive. After I left him, he kept showing up at my door begging me to take him back. When I told him no, he tried to come in anyway. Part of the reason I have that bat.”

“Well, if that fucker comes around again you tell me. I’ll take care of him.”

You smile as you kiss his lips before he helps you out of the tub and puts you in some comfy clothes.

“Are you hungry? I can order us something.”

“Can we…is it ok if we lay down for a little bit.”

After kissing your forehead, he climbs in beside you and you curl up into his side resting your head on his chest.

“There’s no rush here, Y/N. When you’re with me we can move as slow as you need to.”

############

@mynameismothra @hideoutside @micheledawn1975

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laughingwith-bluelips · 9 months

Text

I finally got why I love so much the "dragons are gone" ending in the books while I hate it in the movies:

The books set the dragons free.

The movies simply sent them away.

That's basically the idea but I had a vision yesterday at 3am so I will be getting into detail below the cut.

The books have a very strong message about slavery. Some would say that it is a concept that is only important within the context of the last five or four books, but the ones that have been paying attention to the saga as a whole knows that there are things happening in the background. You know, stuff like

People eating dragons

People stealing dragons from their families so

The dragons can serve the vikings

And they're expected to obey because

People threaten to turn them into bags.

That's mostly the first book.

Dragons are constantly showed as unsatisfied with the status quo trough out the books, some more annoyed with the vikings than others. We have complete monologues from different dragons before the war is even a possibility. Sincerely, when it happens, it feels natural.

The idea of freeing the dragons is not one that comes up in the last book, not even close. The first time it is considered an option is in book 9 (I think), and, by the time being, we've already stablish lots of concepts as slavery within human beings, the dangers of a war, how this could lead to the end of all and freeing the dragons is the only option.

It is fatalist to say the least, but it's not going out of nowhere. There is a lot of worldbuilding (more on that later), but it is also the right thing to do. By the time Hiccup is presenting the option, Cowell has made us root for the dragons to be free and wild and do whatever they want, even if what they want is to hide under sea for thousands of years. Or if they don't want, or if the want to but just not in that moment, they can do it.

Oh, yes, because they leave GRADUALLY.

It is a sad ending, but still manages to get as satisfactory because, yet again, we know this happens and the books remind us this will happen eventually every time they can. “There were dragons when I was a boy” is literally the first phrase in the saga.

And then we got the movies.

The movies never followed the books. Like, not very much. The writers decided that they wanted to tell a story of a broken relationship between a father and a son while using dragons, the heroic and prophetic aspects of the books were getting on the way of that and they scrapped the idea. So, no, you can't tell me the movies actually follow the books.

However, if you're very technical, you know the Hiccup we see in the movies resembles Hiccup I, the one that stopped the war between vikings and dragons in the books, stablishing an equal relation between the two races. And this idea of the movies being a prequel can work for the second and specially the first movie, disregarding the fact that there are no prophetic or magical elements at all.

But THW exist and... Exist.

Suddenly the writers and producers decide that they want to follow the books and want to get rid of the dragons, something that is completely against the message of the other two movies.

(I am just talking about the movies, the shows-books relationship is very different and I will someday make a post ranting about it)

The movies do NOT talk about the dangers of dragons being with vikings or how the vikings mistreat the dragons or how bad is slavery or anything like that. The second movie does, yes, but the second movie also sends a message about how people benefit of being with dragons. They have their dragons and they're strong because of that friendship. Being at war with one another only brings loss and suffering for both bands while being together promises an actual future. A bright future that no one imagined before the first movie and that now they cling to.

Dragons and vikings are friends and together cand do basically anything.

That's a very strong message, you know?

And you know what? The third movie decided that such a strong and important message about friendship should leave the franchise completely.

“Free the dragons” it's a concept that doesn't fit with the movies. They're not slaved, they're not away from wildness and, most importantly, they CHOOSE to be with the vikings in the first place. They are already equals, they can do what they want and, you know, they are with the vikings because they want to.

But no, let's do a movie about letting friends go as if it could actually fit in the saga.

(I know it could actually fit but the execution was terrible).

As I said before, the movies resembles Hiccup I befriending dragons and we know how it ends. And someone who has never read the books will go and say "well, it was bound to end that way, why are you mad?” I tell you the difference right now: there's 1000 years of difference between the befriending and the parting in the book, 1000 years in wich we witness the deterioration of said friendship (from being friends and equals to being slaves). That's no what happens in the movies. The films give us 6 years and the only deterioration is within Toothless' character and how they made him a horny dog.

The dragons shouldn't have leave. This was a whim from the writers that thought that ending both stories the same way would be cool. It isn't. At all.

Long story short, it doesn't fit thematically. The movies and the books have different themes with different concepts and different characterizations of the dragons. While the books got story building and present the theme's since the beginning, the movies get it out of no where ignoring the themes in previous works.

Anyways, go read the books they're jewels and the ending isn't as shitty as thw make it look

#httyd #how to train your dragon #httyd 2 #httyd the hidden world #httyd book #httyd books #im angry about the ending #probably because I'm watching rtte and i llve the relationship wuth the dragons #and the characters themselves #freeing the dragons is an actual theme in rtte but not in the movies #that's sad #also i don't think the shows follow better the books but #they actually use themes from them #english is not my first language #sorry if i wrote anything wrong #i love the films #i know it sounds as if i hate them but i don't #they're basically my favourite movies of all time

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teaboot · 1 month

Note

Since I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be, I have been trying to send to more asks to engage more. I really don't want to bother anyone though so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Detailed? Vague? Work? Fandom? Movies? Books? Childhood? Gardening? Thoughts? OTPs? OCs? I'm sure there are way more categories, I'm not limiting you to these listed options. Perhaps if it's an easier question what types of asks do you not like?

pPAAASGGFYGGJIK THANK YOU?

Detailed asks good yes

Vague asks??? Do not understand but open to the concept

Fandom: My first Fandom was X-Men, then Lord of the Rings, then Homestuck, Transformers, Fullmetal Alchemist, Teen Wolf, Avengers (first movie, when it came out), Batman, Overwatch briefly, Mass Effect, Gravity Falls, Trigun, and now my sister's getting me into Call of Duty! Feel free to ask about any!!

Movies: Yes movies are a great topic I have SO MANY

Oh lord I haven't consistently been up to date on books in FOREVER but yes books are good, you can ask book questions, I'm reading a lot of old classics and recently finished Pride & Prejudice, am now on The One That Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Childhood- oh my god bud you have no idea

Gardening- My house is full of plastic plants on account of how good I am at killing things

Thoughts- Always

OTPs YO YES

OCs? YO YEAH GO FOR IT I NEVER TALK ABOUT THEM aaaaah I need to start writing again- I've been working on an urban fantasy for like. God like 7-8 years now

If I don't like an ask I'll just ignore or delete it but not much is off the table. I will not answer where exactly I live, who I am, if I'm a specific person you met, etc. for safety reasons.

I've worked in sex education so I can answer questions on that topic but if you get too personal or abrasive I will not respond.

I'm regularly flooded with donation requests and it's often too hard to figure out which are real and which are scams using stolen legit posts so as a general rule I do not spread those, I'm sorry.

And if you pop in to sexually harass me or use abusive language towards myself or others then I'm just gonna block you and delete the message.

If you want to warn me that a post I shared came from a bad source I do appreciate that, but if I do my research and can't find a legitimate reason to block someone then I probably won't.

I consider Legitimate Reasons to block someone on recommendation to be abusive language and behaviour, threats, bigotry, propagation of misinformation, production of AI content, and encouragement of dangerous behaviors that pose genuine harm to self or others. I'm not gonna block a random cause they enjoy Steven Universe and you think it's annoying. We all like stuff.

Womp-womp.

Thanks for asking!!! I probably shoulda talked about some of this myself, lol

EDIT: Terfs and radfems are block on sight, it's not your fault you're dumb but I am not capable of educating all of you

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inklore · 6 months

Text

after a year and a handful of months of debating on if i should, or wanted to, do commissions (and with some convincing and hyping from friends) i've decided why the heck not!

so to everyone whose ever complimented me and hyped me up for my themes and graphics thank you and you're definitely another driving force in this decision.

making graphics is therapeutic to me and i take a lot of pride and joy in doing it, from seeing everyone loving the things i create. and i want to share that pride and joy even more, sooo if you've ever struggled with making a good theme, feel too lazy to make one, need a banner for a fic or masterlist, a header, or just need someone to help your graphic vision come together; i'm here to provide!

before you commission something, or just want some examples, please check out my past work and portfolio!

PORTFOLIO | PINTEREST | ART TAG | GIFS

PLEASE THOROUGHLY READ THROUGH THE RULES!!!!

✶ all payments will be made through kofi or fiverr depending on what you're commissioning. if you'd rather go through paypal that is also a valid option just message me.

when it comes to commissioning anything details matter!!! i need complete details of what you want to be created. i will not accept something like 'floral vibe' or 'something with browns'. that gives me nothing. i need a vision, i need as much information as possible, examples (but do not take them from other creators please i will decline your commission), you can take inspo or examples from my own themes, or go through my pin board. the more details the better. the greater i can make your vision come into view. this is important!!!

i will not use other peoples art. do not ask for it to be included in whatever project i am creating. everything i make is for personal use only.

you will get two redos for me to change something you don't like about the theme. a preview of the finished product will be sent your way and you can ask for something to be completely re-done, but after that no changes will be made.

please include your user or where you want me to send your graphics within your request.

there's not a time span in which you have to use the theme or graphic for, but a week would be complimentary.

you can commission as many times as you wish after i've finished the first one.

for my own personal reasons minors are not allowed to commission things.

we do not have to be mutuals, nor do you have to be following me to commission something.

you don't have to outwardly give me credit but please do not claim my creations as your own.

if you have any questions before commissioning something my messages are always open and there is never a dumb question. please feel free to ask!

✶ fandoms i will not accept commissions for: anime, supernatural, our flags mean death, good omens (because i am not in them nor have enough knowledge on how to make the vision really suit said fandoms).

a full theme includes: a navigation banner and a header.

when commissioning a theme there are a few things that need to be mentioned and answered, so please include them in your request!

what kind of navi banner do you want? (refer to my portfolio for this, or if you just want something simplistic, big, small, medium, extra, messy, chaotic, etc)

what vibe are you going for? (dark academia, greek myth, ocean, dainty, horror, etc)

colors? (a must ok i need to know, if you give me none then i'm going to do whatever and choose what i think looks best and that's also fine if you want me to have complete creative liberties)

whats your overall vision? (can be included in the vibes section but giving me more detail is better)

text. (what do you want included on it, words, titles, information, quotes, etc)

examples. (like i mentioned in the rules examples are encouraged but do not take them from other creators on here and i will not copy, or make them look like someone else's work)

what kind of header do you want? (a simple png that goes along with the navi colors and vibe, a whole other banner-esk graphic, none, etc)

✶ see the add ons section below if you want more things included in your theme.

now these add ons are only for themes. if you commission a header only, or gif, they will have their own add on options.

$1 - for dividers that match your theme in color and vibe (if you want symbol, graphic, or anything that's not color then the price goes up a dollar)

$1 - three+ icon options (want the perfect icon to fit your theme and don't want to do the searching yourself? i got you)

$2 - content warning + minor dni banners (i'll make theme specifically to match your theme, with your user, and whatever you want them to say or look like etc)

$3 - layout + navi formatting (aka i'll come up with a completely new layout format for your navigation post + your bio)

$4 - a gif header or a gif included within the navi graphic (this is the highest price because finding clips, extracting scenes into caps, making the gif, coloring it to match the theme, blending, etc, is a lot lol)

a header commission includes: only a header. it is not a theme, just a mobile header, or a header for a masterlist, or fic.

the information needed for this commission are as listed below.

what kind of header do you want? (aka what is it for. this is important because the look is dependent on this information)

colors, vibes, vision. (more detail the better)

text. (if you want text on it, what do you want it to say, so title, etc)

examples. (not needed but a plus)

gif commissions include: gifs for your fics or masterlists. not for themes or headers.

depending on how you want these little moving pictures to look you gotta give some details.

fandom, character, scenes. (don't just say 'any scene' unless you truly want me to choose whatever scene lmao)

how many? (the current cut off is six, if you want more then there's an add on)

coloring. (you can completely leave this up to me but if you want them to be a certain color then please let me know, i'll also check with you before making all of them to make sure you like the coloring)

text. (want them to say anything? a title? subtitles? dialogue from your fic? your username on them? etc)

add on: blends. (want two characters or actors from different angles, scenes, or fandoms in the same gif? i got you)

add on: textures. (if you want added details such as a texture on the gifs then this will be extra, but i need to know what kind of texture / details you want added)

fic commissions: are only done through fiverr or paypal. if you are interested in commissioning a fic or any kind of writing then please refer to my fiverr and inquire over there or message me on here. thank you!!

✶REMEMBER TO MESSAGE ME WITH ANY QUESTIONS YOU HAVE BEFORE COMMISSIONING, NO MATTER THE TIME OR SUBJECT, I ENCOURAGE IT!

contact info: on tumblr, or discord: toldbylaur.

where to commission: kofi or pm me!

#commissions #theme commissions #graphic commissions #gif commissions #fic commissions

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mayiwritesomething · 26 days

Text

Love Is An Unfamiliar Name (Pt. 6)

Wordcount: 1,3 k

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x f!reader

A/N: not much to say, just the two enjoying each other and being a bit vulnerable.

Warnings: +18, sex, oral sex (not explicit but it’s there), some curse words.

PART FIVE

—

Stay

After pleasing him once more, you climbed back to face him with a naughty smile, his fingers tracing your back as he gazed at you with a smile of his own. Cupping your face with one hand, he pulled you closer for a kiss.

"I hate you," you playfully muttered between kisses.

"I know..." he replied, planting soft kisses on your neck and chin as he adjusted your position on top of him, so he could be inside. As you tried to remain quiet, he reassured you, "Babe, you don't need to worry about that. It's okay to make some noise."

"Not… fuck— not at 12 pm, though—right?" you expressed surprise at his unconcern. "What…will… ah… people think?"

"The same thing they thought if they heard anything at night," he chuckled. "You didn't seem to care about that a few hours ago."

"Jesus! How in the hell can someone be so annoying?" you attempted to wriggle free from his embrace, but he held you tighter. Your hips moved involuntarily as he tried to kiss you. "No," you resisted, pushing him back to lie down.

"Look at her, she’s angry," he teased, complying with your command.

"You've never seen me angry, baby," you bantered, drawing close to him but refraining from kissing. Close enough for him to feel your heavy breathing as his hands were now holding your hips tightly. You held his arms as hard as you could. He couldn’t hold his moan this time, you loved to see this scene.

"This… is torture, you know," he remarked, eyes fixed on your lips, his pace quickening as you tried to slow down yours.

"Well, you can get your revenge another day," you chuckled, giving him a gentle but swift kiss, than humming aftferwards. "Now we have an excuse to… meet again—fuck—my room this time." He loved to watch you trying to hold yourself back.

"Sounds like a plan to me," he agreed, pulling you closer. "Can I keep going like this?" he asked tentatively as you felt him going a bit faster. You nodded moaning in confirmation, no longer resisting, you wanted to reach your climax as much as him. So you both kept going until the so awaited moment. It felt you both ran a marathon.

You typically avoided sleepovers, always leaving after getting what you wanted with the excuse of work the next day. This time, however, you felt a strange desire to stay, and apparently, he felt the same. The companionship, conversations, bad jokes, shared shower, and talks of the future all hinted at a deeper connection between you. Pretending not to be scared, you both acknowledged the ticking clock as it struck 2 PM.

"I should head back to my room," you said, searching for your phone.

"Let me order us some food first?" he suggested, hinting that he didn't want you to leave.

"Okay," you agreed, hinting that you also wanted to stay as he picked the hotel’s intercom. When you found your phone, you were bombarded with notifications.

A message from Amy: Are you alive?

Another from Timmy: Had a great night, huh?

Jenny: Did you just have a sleepover? 😱 I went to your room, where the hell are you?

Maria: Save a horse! You know what to do 😈 xx

You chuckled and opened the group chat, finding over 50 messages. Some were from the girls expressing concern as there was no sign of you, while others shared details from Jenny’s night. One message in particular made you burst out laughing: Maria's, which read, "Of course she won't answer us, she's probably riding the guy right now."

"Are your friends curious too?," Pedro observed as he hugged you from behind, catching you off guard as he felt your muscles thightening. "Sorry... I should have warned you beforehand, right?" he worriedly apologized.

"I'll get used to it," you shyly replied. "After all, I am a hedgehog," you joked.

"It's all an act, I know," he teased, trailing kisses along your neck and holding you tightly. "…Last night, you were quite physical," he reminded you playfully.

"Last night, you were quite physical," you retorted him, pretending to try to escape his embrace. “Fuck you”

"Did I lie? It'll be hard to forget that entrance...” you just hummed in response, “I still have to work tomorrow, baby, you’re the one who’s got a free week," he reminded you, kissing you softly.

“Finally, don't you think?" you retorted, stepping out of his embrace. "Unlike actors, our job extends waaaay beyond the filming hours. And we are paid much less by the way, if you didn’t know that" you added frustrated, a hint of anger in your voice.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to belittle it," he realized his mistake, seeing you now with crossed arms and a stern expression.

"Think twice next time, asshole," you scolded him, sounding annoyed.

"I know it was a dumb comment, sorry," he apologized, coming to hug you.

"Yes it was…," you acknowledged as you allowed him to embrace you. "But I'll forgive you this time."

"Thanks," he said, gazing at you and holding your chin. "Have I ever told you how fucking amazing you are?" Your cheeks flushed as he spoke.

“A few times my friend" You held his face and you kissed him slowly.

His phone started vibrating on the table, but he didn't let go of you as he reached for it. While he answered the call, you continued to run your fingers along his neck, feeling his skin as he now was tracing your back with his index finger.

"Yes, she's here," he spoke into the phone, and you couldn't help but freeze at your mention, you stepped back.

“Who's that?" you asked, shocked, but he gestured for you to wait.

As he covered the phone's speaker, he turned to you and asked, "Babe, did you have a flight today?" The realization hit you like a ton of bricks - you had completely forgotten about your flight to LA, a short trip to your home that you had been looking forward to. "Oh my god," you muttered, laughing at your own forgetfulness. "Fuck… I did... at like 11 am," you added with a chuckle.

Returning to his call, he explained the situation to Jennifer. "Yeah, I'll tell her to drop by. Thanks, Jen. Bye. See you," he concluded the call, turning back to you with a sheepish look.

"I guess I'll have to book another flight," you said, trying to lighten the mood with a laugh.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"For what?" you asked, genuinely confused.

"Making you stay, causing you to miss your flight."

"I wanted to stay," you admitted, surprising both yourself and him. "I want to stay."

"I want you to stay," he confessed, his eyes meeting yours with sincerity.

"So staying is what I will do," you declared with a smile, feeling a sense of peace in your decision.

"Great," he said, pulling you closer in a reassuring embrace.

"I'm hungry," you mentioned, shifting the conversation to a lighter topic. "Did they give you an estimate for when the food will arrive?"

"30 to 40 minutes until we can eat," he replied. "But there's something else I'd like to enjoy before the main course arrives." He added, you felt the filthyness on his tone.

"I thought I was the main course! How dare you?" you teased, feigning offense.

"You are the appetizer, main course and dessert baby," he chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he guided you to the bed.

"We still have some time," you remarked staring at the clock, playing with his hair as he showered your skin with kisses, gradually undressing you. "You can have your appetizer" you smiled.

"Thank you baby," he murmured, his touch sending shivers down your spine as he focused on pleasuring you, his name falling from your lips in ecstasy as he devoted himself to your pleasure.

Don’t give a fuck about a flight. This is way better than going to LA.

“Don't—Don't you go

Won't you stay with me one more day?

If we get through one more night

If we get through one more night”

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x f!reader #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedrohub #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro x reader #fanfic

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ladykailitha · 4 months

Text

The Magic of Christmas Part 4/8

Hello! How are you guys enjoying so far?

In this Steve realizes his feelings, Dustin and Robin decide Steve needs to live forever, and Steve gets roped into something he swore he'd never do.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

***

August was fucking miserable. Like the worst month of the year. After February. And January. And September...

That’s besides the point. The point was that AC had kicked the bucket in the middle of the biggest heatwave.

He was going to cry. The wizard piece turned out really well. Steve had loved all the little details that he had put in it.

But the rogue was giving him trouble. It was horrific. Because rogues were silent and mysterious, but the way Steve talked about Will, he was quiet kid, a bitchy teen, and a wild adult. Trying to figure his place in the world he kinda went punk. Dyed his hair bright green. Piercings and tattoos. Ripped clothes and combat boots.

Eddie slowly sat up. Well that’s a thought. He blinked for a moment. That could actually work.

Suddenly his phone rang. He frowned at the device. No one called anymore. It was all texts and DMs and Face Time. The name that came up because there was one, another surprising thing, was Steve.

He dived for the phone and managed to answer it before it went to voicemail.

“‘Ello?” he breathed.

“Hi, Eds,” Steve greeted cheerfully.

Eds.

Fuck.

The things that little nickname did to the butterflies in his stomach.

“Hey, Stevie!” he said back. “What can I do you for?”

“That article Nancy did is making some serious headway,” Steve explained. “I was wondering if you wanted to meet me for lunch to go over the details.”

Eddie laughed. “I was about to text you, darlin’. I have an idea for the rogue I wanted to float by you. So where to, my liege?”

“Monte Cruz, the Mexican place on 7th?” Steve asked.

It was a bit pricey, but it had the best fajitas Eddie had ever had. “Sure thing. 1pm okay?”

“Let me check,” Steve replied.

Eddie could hear him call Robin and while he couldn’t hear her response, Steve’s warm ‘thank you’ meant he was free.

“That’s perfect,” Steve said. “I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah.”

They hung up and Eddie laid on the floor staring up at the ceiling, holding his phone over his chest.

Fuck!

He got up and dashed to the bathroom to shower. He felt like he was covered in slime.

Steve was waiting for him on the terrace, a nice cool breeze rustling his hair. And Eddie couldn’t help but fall a little bit more.

Eddie waved and was far too pleased to get Steve’s little finger wave in return.

He sat down and grinned at Steve. “How is it cooler outside then in my loft?”

“Heat rises?” Steve suggested. cocking his head to the side.

Eddie laughed. “Well it’s the only thing that rising at this point. It’s so fucking hot.”

“I thought you’re loft had air conditioning,” Steve said with a frown.

“Apparently we worked it to extinction,” Eddie said mournfully.

Steve pulled out his phone. “Are you renting or paying a mortgage? I don’t remember what all we’re paying for.”

“Sadly, we own it,” Eddie said with a heavy sigh. “Otherwise I would have harassed a landlord to get it fixed.”

Steve hummed. “All right, I’ve messaged Robin. She’ll call around and get a technician come over tomorrow. It’ll go on my card if can be fixed or if it needs to be replaced.”

Eddie leaned back in his chair. “You don’t have to do that, man.”

Steve smiled at him. “Will the excess heat hurt your paintings?”

Eddie opened and closed his mouth a couple times before he threw his arms in the air. “Yes! Of course it will.”

“Then it’s a business expense and I’ll cover it.”

“I hate you,” Eddie said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You really, really don’t,” Steve murmured. “Now show me your idea for Will’s rogue.”

Eddie pulled out his drawing pad and flipped to the right page. He slid it over to Steve for him to see.

“Oh Eds,” Steve breathed. “It’s beautiful. He’ll love it.”

Eddie tried not to preen, but he couldn’t help it. “So I can go ahead and start painting?”

“Absolutely,” he replied. “Though maybe wait until after your cooler is fixed.”

Eddie threw his head back laughed. “I think you’re probably right.” He gently took the pad from Steve’s grip. “So what’s going on with the charity?”

Steve lit up. He started explaining about all the people interested opening would basically be franchises but that Eddie would still have full control of each branch.

“This is amazing, Stevie,” Eddie breathed. “I can’t thank you enough.”

“I’m happy to help,” Steve said with a grin. “It means that I get drive Dustin absolutely nuts with this whole charity thing. He’s been begging me forever to meet you.”

“I mean, you can invite him to one of our reeducation of Steve Harrington movie nights,” Eddie said, shoving his hair in his face bashfully. “If you wanted to.”

Steve smiled fondly. “That’s sweet of you. But I was thinking something that would absolutely flip their collective shit even more than a movie night. A Halloween one-shot.”

Eddie’s lips formed an O. His eyes sparkled and he grinned. “I know just the thing. It’s something my friends and I used to do in high school. You have these little half–not even half character sheets that have just the most basic of stats. The point is to die in the most epic way possible. There are rewards for stupidest death, most epic death, TPK. It’s lots of fun.”

“That sounds amazing!” Steve said. “Would you be willing to do it?”

Eddie leaned forward on the table. “On one condition.”

“Oh?”

“You join us,” he said with a grin. “You read the stats, you roll the dice, you die like a bitch, just like everyone else. You’d be on equal footing with the rest of the Party.”

“Can I think about it?” Steve asked shyly, ducking his head.

“Sure thing, big boy,” Eddie replied. “But let’s order lunch. I’m starving!”

Steve laughed. “Of course.”

Robin poked her head into his office and held up a leather folio. “Do you want to tell me what the hell this is?”

“Sorry,” Steve said, “I’m not Spider-man. I don’t have x-ray vision.”

“That’s Superman,” Robin replied with a huff, “and you’re dodging the question. You know full well what I’m talking about.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I really, really don’t. I haven’t done any even remotely outrageous in months.”

She walked up to his desk and slammed the folio on the desk. “Steven Kevin Harrington...”

“Not my middle name,” he sneered. “You know what it is. You have seen my birth certificate way more times than I have.”

Robin laughed. “But it’s so lame, so I make up ones that sound better.”

“Whatever, Robs,” he said with a huff of his own. “What has got you so twisted this time?”

She opened the folio and turned it around to face him. “You booked the Newfield for New Year’s eve.”

Steve smiled widely at her. “I told you I was going to. It’s hardly my fault you were making goo-goo eyes at Eddie’s agent at the time.”

Robin gasped. “I was not!” He raised a single eyebrow and she folded. “Yeah, all right, maybe.”

Steve sat up in his chair and scooted closer to her. “Look, before you start throwing accusations around about feelings and thinking with my dick, it’s for the charity. You know, the one we’re working on right now.”

Robin glared at him. “So it has nothing to do with him making goo-goo eyes at you?”

“He’s not!” he protested. “There’s no way. He can have anyone he wants, he’s not going to go for a stuffed shirt like me.”

Robin raised both her eyebrows. “You can’t actually believe that.”

“You saw his most recent video right?” Steve snapped. “The one where he ranted about how greedy businessmen destroying the environment?”

“Uh...” she said, “you mean the one where he especially called out billionaire businessmen and how smaller companies can change the face of the industry and then went on to list ten things that CEOs can do to change the world and all of them were things you did with Starcourt Ltd. That one?”

Steve blushed. “I guess I didn’t realize.”

“Look,” Robin said sitting down in one of the chairs, “I was wrong about a lot of things when you first hired Eddie for this job. About him, about you and your motives. So I get why you can’t take my advice on this, but he likes you. And more than just a friend.”

He ducked his head as the blush spread from his cheeks to the tips of his ears down the column of the throat. “Don’t go there, please.”

Robin held her hands up in surrender. “I won’t if you don’t want me to. All I’m saying is that if you think you’re falling for him, too…just know he probably feels the same.”

Steve licked his lips. “Yeah, okay.” Then he suddenly buried his head in his hands. “Fuck, I have to make a phone call.”

She raised an eyebrow.

He lifted his head and sighed heavily. “Looks like I’m going to be playing D&D after all.”

She laughed and laughed as Steve buried his head again.

The kids were never going to let him live this down.

“You’re sending my off for my last year as undergrad,” Dustin whined, “and you’re making me come back for fall break? Why?”

Steve was getting tired of this question. The only people who knew about Eddie DMing for them was Steve, Robin, and Eddie. And probably Chrissy. Oh and Claudia Henderson, Dustin’s mom. Which meant that all the other moms knew too.

All right, the conspiracy was bigger than Steve thought.

“Because it is your last year,” he said with a sigh. “You’ll be heading off to MIT next year and it’ll be harder for you to come home for the holidays.”

Dustin deflated. “Yeah, okay. So everyone will be home for Halloween?”

Steve brightened up. “Yep! I’m throwing a costume party with pizza and if you guys aren’t shitheads about it, I might even front for a wet bar.”

Dustin frowned. “What the fuck is a wet bar?”

Robin who had just come home, smacked him on the back of his head, knocking off his hat. “It means there will be booze, doofus.”

Dustin who had been about to yell at her for knocking off his hat, turned to Steve instead. “Seriously?”

“Yup! I’ve okay’ed it with all the parental units,” he said, “and I keep an eye on your intake to make sure you don’t get sick, they’re fine with it.”

Dustin launched himself at him and hugged him tight. “You’re the best, Steve!”

“There won’t be beer,” Steve warned. “It’s not the best drink to get started drinking on and bottles tend to hide how much you’ve been drinking.”

“Are they going to be spooky themed drinks?” Dustin asked.

Steve laughed. “Hell yeah, they are.” He ruffled Dustin’s hair. “Now go finish packing. I’m not going to let your mom do it for you this year. You’re an adult. Act like it.”

Dustin rolled his eyes. “God, you’re more mom like then my actual mom.”

Steve laughed. “If I got insulted every time one of you called me mom, I would’ve died of a heart attack years ago.”

Dustin hit him on the arm. “No talks of dying. You aren’t allowed. You have to live forever.”

Robin laughed. “Sure, just got to find that elixir of life somewhere.”

“Or the fountain of youth,” Dustin helpfully supplied.

“You could always invent something,” Steve suggested.

Dustin’s eyes lit up. “That’s a great idea!” He dashed off excitedly.

“Pack first!”

Robin laughed.

***

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @emly03 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @vecnuthy @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @littlewildflowerkitten @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @genderless-spoon @anne-bennett-cosplayer @irregular-child @carlprocastinator1000 @mogami13 @samsoble

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #christmas #artist eddie #businessman steve #autistic steve harrington

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milkywayes · 4 months

Text

dreamt a cipher

a shepard/garrus post-destroy ending longfic.

[AO3 link]

I’ve debated a while about when to start posting this. Now it’s the new year, and I’ve been working on Cipher for over a year and a half, and I’ve waited long enough to start sharing it with you all. I’ve decided it’s finally time to start uploading while I work on the final chapters.

I started writing this before I ever drew a single piece of fanart for Mass Effect. It’s all the things that were bouncing around in my head after choosing the destroy ending with a mostly-paragon Shepard—consequence and responsibility and self-recrimination; her relationship with Garrus and with herself; their ties to each other and how much weight they can bear; their differing perspectives and how they slot together—all that fun stuff—compressed into a story, a place, a narrative.

I believe in the power of love, and I promise a happy ending. They’ve just been taking the long way to get there. Feel free to yell at me in the meantime.

A huge thank you to @callista-curations for her meticulous and invaluable beta work, and to @that-wildwolf and @gammaraydeath for being the best hypemen I could ask for!

A more detailed list of warnings can be found on AO3.

I've posted the full cover art here.

────

Summary:

Pairing: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian Rating: M (subject to change) Important Tags: post-destroy ending - angst with a happy ending - slow burn (of sorts) - arguing - reconciliation - survivor guilt - minor original characters Her own personal Noverian peak. That’s what it was supposed to be. Nothing but the discovery: no distractions, no comfort, no windows looking out—no familiar faces. But it's starting to look like her winning streak might have ended in that pile of Citadel rubble, if it ever extended that far to begin with. ──── “How does the Earth idiom go? No use beating a dead—” A long-suffering sigh. “What was it again?” “A dead horse. And yet, you’re here. Beating it.” Pot, kettle. She wishes he’d just fucking say it.

-> AO3.

Read the start of Chapter 1: Constant Velocity under the cut!

────

The overhead lights flicker as they always do when the data screens are up and running. It’s not something one gets used to, even so. It stings at her ocular nerves—or something like that, anyway, somewhere along the delicate wires that extend from her eyeballs into her brain—but her focus on the data doesn’t waver.

“In that case,” says Shepard, squinting against the ache, “what we need is salvage from a relay outside the immediate burst zone. Four jumps away. Five, if possible. There’s no point to any of this if we can’t scrape together a control group.”

She glances back at Elsawy, who so far hasn’t made it more than a meter into the room. She nods without looking up from her omni-tool; orange shimmers off her shiny, black hair, giving her the uncomfortable air of a Cerberus operative. Not the worst comparison, except that Miranda would waste no time letting her know if her logic took a faulty turn somewhere. Elsawy’s just as likely to agree now and write a message detailing all her crap conclusions later.

Leaning her hip against the conference table, Shepard shifts her weight off her left leg, bites down on the sigh that almost manages to slip out. Once in the clear, she grouses, “Where the hell is Meyer? He’s the one that called this meeting.”

As it is, it’s three people in attendance and she’s the only one talking. She could’ve achieved the same results with a voice call from her quarters, where she could elevate her leg in peace and without witnesses. In the dark.

“Lab Two,” answers Elsawy, finally ripping her attention off the omni-screen and gracing Shepard with a second of eye contact. Maybe in another life she could appreciate the effort—Jesus, as if she hasn’t had her fill of lives already. “We’re close to a breakthrough on the initial output patterns. Sorry. He’s been feeding his data to me.”

“Right.” She blinks once, twice, in time with the flickering. It doesn’t help; it never does. “I’ll swing by later, then. Anything else he asked you to relay?”

“Just that, Commander.” Elsawy is mumbling just enough that her voice has to compete with the drone of the air vents. The translator takes a second to filter out and amplify it. The result is less than perfect: “More salvage—” bzzrt—“bigger picture, you got it.” She narrows her eyes, and Shepard raises a brow. “Left leg or—” bzz!—“left hip?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Commander.”

“It’s nothing relevant,” she says pleasantly, forcing herself to stand up straight again. There’s a brief tremor shaking up her hamstrings; she waves a hand to distract from it. In the frenzy of the lights, the movement looks jerky, nervous. She soldiers on. “Old field injury. Unrelated. Anything can set it off.”

Funny, kind of, since it’s that very leg that ends in the most perfect, cooperative example of a foot she’s ever had the pleasure of treading on. It’s cloned; a replacement. Not the only one either. They should’ve just done away with the whole limb, but she hadn’t been consulted. Same with her trick shoulder. Not even Cerberus had managed to get that one back on the straight and narrow.

“I’d rather you bring it up with the doctor,” replies Elsawy. This is, apparently, what it takes for her to finally speak at a reasonable volume. “If we manage to fill even one of the data gaps…”

“I know,” she says. “I know, and I’m telling you, it’s unrelated.”

-> continue reading on AO3

#mass effect fanfiction #shakarian #fanfic #shakarian fic #oh GOD. here it is. I'm BIRTHING this baby like Shepard birthed grunt #I'm so nervous but I am really proud of this story so Take it.#cipher tag

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likeadevils · 1 year

Text

Speak Now Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Speak Now in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also added a few other songs she wrote while writing Speak Now and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

Due to a surprising amount of digital decay and her life not being highly documented yet, exact dates are bit harder to come by then they are with following albums, but you can still find a few! I’ve added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date:

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but everything points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices)

More notes: I will probably be editing it as information about vault songs and new details about old songs get come out, so it probably won’t be finished until July, so check back in with this post and/or follow me if you want updates. Most tweet dates come from crawling through the wayback machine, but if you want further sourcing, feel free me an ask/dm.

Without further ado...

Sparks Fly: Late 2006 (Inferring)

Taylor opened up for Jake Owen on October 31, 2006 In Portland, Oregon (the secret message for the song), and wrote Sparks Fly about the experience shortly after. I’ve seen a few second hand sources say she wrote it on the airplane ride back to Nashville later that same night, but I can’t find Taylor herself saying that, so it might just be an old fandom legend, or the source has been lost to digital decay, or I just haven’t looked hard enough. She first performs the song in May 29, 2007.

Haunted: 2009 (Unknown)

Taylor: "Haunted" is about the moment that you realize the person you're in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don't know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it's fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you're realizing that he's kind of falling out of love. That's a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through, because the whole time you're trying to tell yourself it's not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing this song about it.

February 17, 2009: Tweets "It's 3:58 am in London.. And I accidentally fell asleep at 6:30 pm, so now I'm wide awake and have no idea what to do. Write a song?"

It’s possible that this was what Taylor was referring to when she said she “ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing [Haunted]”, but it’s also very possible that Taylor didn’t write a song on February 17, and waking up in the middle of the night and writing a song is not a rare occurrence in Taylor’s life, so one tweet doesn’t really prove anything.

March 13, 2009: Tweets "A day off in Sydney. Drove two hours out of the city and spent the day on the beach. Wrote a chorus you'll hear on the next record. :)"

Pure speculation, but I think she was working on Mr. Perfectly Fine. It was created in 2009, and in my opinion, of the possible songs it has the most notable chorus.

March 19, 2009: Posts on Myspace “I’m wiped out. I’ve been in the studio all day ( I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.) It’s so much fun knowing that you can take your time, because you have like a year and a half to make something you’re really proud of. I love recording a few songs, waiting a few months, recording a few more.. Instead of devoting a few weeks to “record the album” and then it’s just done. I like dragging it out, that way you can be meticulous about every detail. Daydream about different ways to put the songs together, and then take them apart. I’m pretty obsessed with the whole process. So needless to say, it was good to be back in the studio with my redheaded producer who I missed terribly.”

If This Was A Movie: April 2009 (Inferring)

Taylor has literally never talked about this song, but April would be six months after and Joe Jonas broke up in late September/early October 2008.

April 24, 2009: Taylor plays in Jonesboro, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [likely Enchanted], that would happen again in Boston [likely Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)

May 23, 2009: Taylor records Half Of My Heart with John Mayer

On March 1, 2009: John Mayer tweeted: “Waking up to this song idea that won’t leave my head. 3 days straight now. That means it’s good enough to finish. It’s called Half of My Heart and I want to sing it with Taylor Swift. She would make a killer Stevie Nicks in contrast to my Tom Petty of a song.” On May 23, John Mayer tweeted "I couldn't get Taylor Swift on my record so I found the world's greatest impersonator, Laura Jacksheimer" with a picture of Taylor.

Superman: Spring 2009 (Speculation)

This could have been written any time in 2009, but due to it's general sound and the following quote, I’d guess it was written sometime in spring, when her and John Mayer first started working together. Taylor: “This was a guy that I was sort of enamored with, as usual. This song got its title by something that I just kinda said randomly in conversation. He walked out of the room, I looked over at one of my friends and said, ‘Man, It’s just like watching Superman fly away.’”

May 29, 2009: Posts on Myspace “Tomorrow, after the performance on the Today show, I’ll fly back to Nashville and record a lot of new songs I’ve written in the last few weeks. I’m really excited about that.” (She also posts "Tonight I went shopping at Top Shop in New York with the band. I got purple shoes. I’m really excited about the purple shoes, and I just needed to tell someone. I got purple shoes. Ok. That’s done." Which. If I had a nickel for everytime Taylor teased her new album by posting about shoe colors I'd have two nickels, which isnt a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.)

June 4, 2009: Posts on Facebook "In the studio. I don't know whose computer I'm using. Pssh.. Such a rebel right now.."

June 9, 2009: Tweets (about recording Thug Story) "If I said I was in the studio with T-Pain, would you believe me?"

Better Than Revenge and Let’s Go (Battle): June 2009 (Inferring)

These were probably written sometime between June 12, when the Jonas Brothers released “Much Better”, and July 1, when Taylor posted on Myspace: “What else is new.. Recording a bunch of new songs. Lots of new things to write about…..”

Last Kiss: 2009 (Unknown)

Taylor: "The song "Last Kiss" is sort of like a letter to somebody. You say all of these desperate, hopeless feelings that you have after a breakup. Going through a breakup you feel all of these different things. You feel anger, and you feel confusion, and frustration. Then there is the absolute sadness. The sadness of losing this person, losing all the memories, and the hopes you had for the future. There are times when you have this moment of truth where you just admit to yourself that you miss all these things. When I was in one of those moments I wrote this song."

July 22, 2009: Tweets "Hanging with my producer Nathan, discussing the next adventure" and then in a separate tweet "...album #3."

Never Grow Up: Fall 2009 (Speculation)

Lover Diary Nathan Chapman: "The song 'Never Grow Up' is just she singing and I on acoustic guitar. We recorded ourselves live. That song probably happened in two hours." This could’ve been written at any time in 2009, but I put it here because she bought her Nashville apartment sometime before October.

September 8, 2009: Tweeted "Last night in nash before heading out tomorrow for 4 shows, then VMA's. But right now I can't put the guitar down."

September 13, 2009: VMAs Incident

Enchanted: September 15, 2009 (Confirmed)

On September 15, Taylor attended an Owl City Concert in New York Taylor: "It was about this guy that I met in New York City, and I had talked to him on email or something before, but I had never met him. And meeting him, it was this overwhelming feeling of: I really hope that you're not in love with somebody. And the whole entire way home, I remember the glittery New York City buildings passing by, and then just sitting there thinking, am I ever going to talk to this person again? And that pining away for a romance that may never even happen, but all you have is this hope that it could, and the fear that it never will. I started writing that in the hotel room when I got back. Because it just was this positive, wistful feeling of: I hope you understand just how much I loved meeting you. I hope that you know that meeting you was not something that I took lightly, or just in passing. And I think my favorite part of that song is the part where, in the bridge, it goes to sort of a stream of consciousness of ‘Please don't be in love with someone else/Please don't have somebody waiting on you.' Because at that moment, that's exactly what my thoughts were. And it feels good to write exactly what your thoughts were in a certain moment.”

September 26, 2009: Taylor plays in Little Rock, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [Enchanted & Back To December], that would happen again in Boston [Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)

October 17, 2009: Tweets "Travis: you look so out of it. Me: I'm writing a song in my head. Travis: oh, I apologize. I didn't realize you were working."

November 30, 2009: Tweets "If I had a dime for every time my producer and I blurt out the same thing at the same time, followed by an awkward, uncoordinated high five..."

Ours: December 6, 2009 (Inferring)

Myspace Post on December 6: “I just got back to Nashville this morning after being in LA all week. Today I was out and about and in the studio all day” Taylor: "I wrote this when I was about to turn 20. I was in a relationship I knew people wouldn't approve of, and it was just a matter of time before everyone found out. When you're first getting to know someone, it's a fragile time, and then you add newspapers and magazine covers and it can get kind of rough. I wanted to have this song to play for him when it got difficult. Singing it for him was one of the sweetest moments I can remember."

December 22, 2009: Tweets "I was writing a song and my pen fell into the piano. Still trying to figure out if I should do anything about this."

January 2010: Starts polishing up the demos made in 2009 into fully produced tracks

Billboard: "Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce." Nathan Chapman: "We stripped it down and made the demos first. Taylor came to my studio and I played all the instruments on the demos, and because I have a good vocal booth, her demo vocals ended up being the vocals you hear on the record. After finishing the demos, we went out to different studios, and tried different combinations of engineers and musicians to replace some of the elements of my demos, mostly the programmed drums, and to do additional overdubs. [...] A pop artist would probably release what we'd done after five hours, but country artists don't want to hear programmed drums, they don't want to hear fake stuff. So once we had recorded the demos, we would book whatever studio we wanted for each song, to replace the drums, in many cases the bass, and to add whatever overdubs we envisioned, like fiddle, keyboards, percussion and strings. After we got the demos right, we opened it up and allowed ourselves to spend money and cut a big record." Taylor tweets on January 11: "Studio-ness with all the same boys who played on Fearless" and on January 13: "More recording. So excited. So excited. So excited. See, I said that three times. Once for every album we've made in this studio."

January 13, 2010: Posts on Myspace “Thank you January. I have had this month off. I have walked on snow-covered grass and discovered new coffee shops and laughed hysterically with friends about things that probably weren’t technically funny. I’ve written songs on napkins and sat at a giant table with my whole family on my mother’s birthday, all of us in one place for the first time in too long. I’ve gotten to take what has happened to me and process it to my full capability, and celebrate it the way it deserved to be celebrated. I’ve made new music. I’ve gone over the memories and jumped up and down with my producer and floated around with nothing on my schedule other than just appreciating what my life has somehow turned into. [...] Getting back in the studio with the same guys I trust and know and love.. (right, the pointing one: my producer Nathan Chapman) (Left, the waving one: Bass extraorinaire, Tim Marks. Clearly marked on his road case.) [...] Nick Buddha is in charge of the drums.”

February 22, 2010: Posts on Myspace "I’ve been writing lots of songs"

February 13, 2010: Writes in her diary "I’ve been obsessing over the new album. I always do that until it’s just right. I don’t know if I have the formula just right for this one yet. I know there are great songs. I just need to figure out the strands that bond them together into a great album. And I will obsess until it’s there. This album, any album, is the next 2 years of my life. It has to be more than amazing. It has to be great enough to keep my attention for 2 years."

Mine: March 10-12 2010 (Inferring)

Taylor (above interview, at 5:17): "I wrote Mine somewhere on the road, I think in Texas, actually." Nathan Chapman: "The demo for 'Mine' apparently took less than five hours to record, and sounded, according to Chapman, "almost identical to the record. After that we worked on the track for another four months, off and on, and spent $30,000 to make sure it sounded perfect in the real world."" Taylor: "This song is the first single because it has this…there was this moment between Nathan and I, my producer, when I brought this song in and when we made this demo in one day in his basement and we just kinda looked at each other and we were like, "This is it. This is the one. All of the times that I've had "The Moment" with songs of "This is the one," it's been a good call, so I'm hoping for the best on this one. Wish me luck." Scott Borchetta: "Mine" was a turning point in the album’s development. Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce. Swift presented "Mine" to Borchetta in his office [...] "We probably played that song four or five times," Borchetta recalls. "I’m jumping around playing air guitar, she’s singing the song back to me, and it was just one of those crazy, fun, Taylor teen-age moments."

March 13, 2010: Taylor records Mine, brings it to Scott Borchetta, and says she’s done with TS3

Scott Borchetta: "I said, ‘Keep going,’ [...] She kind of looked at me like, ‘You’re challenging me.’ And I said, ‘Yeah. You’ve found true north here. Keep going.’ " Taylor: “During Speak Now, when I went to (label head) Scott Borchetta and said, 'The album’s finished,’ he said, 'No, it’s not – you need to keep writing.’” (Right after playing in Texas, Taylor leaves for a vacation in the Bahamas, meaning Taylor likely had about a day in Nashville between the two trips).

Innocent: Late March 2010 (Inferring)

Billboard: “It was some time in the period after that challenge — between February and June — that Swift wrote “Innocent,” her response to the Kanye West incident.” Taylor: “Some songs take 30 minutes to write, and some take six months, which was the case with “Innocent.” When things affect me intensely and really hit me hard, it can take a while to figure out what I think about it and what to say about it.” (March would be just over 6 months since the VMAs).

March 24, 2010: Taylor goes lunch with Taylor Lautner and both of their publicists, inspiring Back To December.

Taylor: Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."

Speak Now: Early April, 2010 (Inferring)

On April 3, Taylor attended the wedding of Josh Farro as Hayley Williams (who is Josh's ex) plus one. That day she also tweeted: ""Nathan you smell really good! Is that a new cologne?" "Thanks! Actually it's a two in one shampoo and soap. From Dial." My producer rules." implying she was in the studio. The conversation below could have happened any day after the VMA awards in September, when Hayley first reached out to Taylor, but I think Taylor probably wrote the song fairly close to naming the album after it. Taylor: "This song was inspired by one of my friends who was telling me about her childhood sweetheart, crush guy. They were kind of together in high school and went their separate ways, and it was kind of understood that they were gonna get back together. Then, she one day comes in and tells me he's getting married. He had met this girl who was just this mean person who made him completely stop talking to all of his friends, cut off his family, had him like so completely isolated. And I just, kind of randomly, was like, "So, you gonna speak now?" She was like, "What do you mean?" And I was like "Oh, you know, like storm the church, speak now or forever hold your peace? I'll go with you. I'll play guitar. It would be great." She was just kind of laughing, and later on I just was wrapping my mind around that idea of how tragic it would be if someone you loved was marrying somebody else. Later I had a dream about one of my ex-boyfriends getting married, and it just all came together that I needed to write this song about interrupting a wedding. For me, I like to think of it as good versus evil, and this girl is so completely painted as the evil one. So this is "Speak Now.""

April 13, 2010: Names TS3 Speak Now

Lover Diaries: "So I’ve been obsessing over the new record to the point where it’s all I can focus on. I’m majorly stressed and borderline losing it, with all these lists and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfectionist-ness. I keep growing tired of songs because I know I’ve raised the bar and I can beat half the songs. Scott and I had lunch the other day. We were talking about the record and I had this epiphany. I didn’t talk in interviews about how I felt about much of what has happened in the last 2 years. I’ve been silent about so much that I’m saying on this album. It’s time to Speak Now. Scott freaked out. He loved it. We have a title, ladies and gentlemen!" Scott Borchetta: ""At one point, the record was not called ‘Speak Now.’ It was called ‘Enchanted,’ [...] We were at lunch, and she had played me a bunch of the new songs. I looked at her and I’m like, ‘Taylor, this record isn’t about fairy tales and high school anymore. That’s not where you’re at. I don’t think the record should be called "Enchanted."’” Swift excused herself from the table at that point. By the time she came back, she had the "Speak Now" title"

Dear John: Spring 2010 (Speculation)

This was likely written sometime after February 2010 (Taylor implies she's single in her vlog and her diary). Beyond that, it could have been anytime between February and June 2010.

Brief Interruption: The next two songs (Back to December and Mean) are going to use quotes from this interview that @1989worldtour found. If you've already listened to the interview attached to the Mine section, then it's the same interview

Back To December: Early May, 2010 (Inferring)

Taylor (above interview, at 5:12): "Back to December was written in New York City. Taylor was in New York city from May 3-5, and May 12-15 2010. she was not photographed in New York any other time in early 2010, and given her busy touring schedule, I doubt she was in New York at another time. USA TODAY: “Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."”

Mean: May 29, 2010 (Speculation)

Taylor (above interview, about 6 minutes in): "I started this song called Mean on my, like sitting on my kitchen counter, just playing it, and then, you know, took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night and finished it in the dressing room." Now, this may be a too literal interpretation of "took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night," but if we want to theorize: the only tour date (that Taylor could've conceivably written Mean during) without another show right before or after it was in Baton Rogue on May 29, 2010.

Long Live: June 2010 (Confirmed)

Lover Diary She likely wrote this around June 5, when she ended the Fearless Tour at Gillette Stadium (Wikipedia counts two festivals as being part of the Fearless Tour but Taylor doesn't, so I'm going with her opinion), since she said that she wrote a song for Speak Now in Boston (which is the closest major city to Gillette)

The Story Of Us: June 9-16, 2010 (Confirmed)

Taylor attended the CMT Awards (Which goes on to be the secret message for The Story Of Us) on June 9 and was sat very close to John Mayer. Taylor: "The people closest to me are used to me deserting a conversation and bolting into some corner of the room with my phone out, hunched over, singing some melody or lyric or hook into my phone. I wrote “The Story of Us” about running into an ex at an awards show, and I came home and sat down at a kitchen table and told my mom, “I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room.” She tried to console me, but I was gone at that point." Lover Diary: "So I’ve been a little studio rat since the tour ended [...] Ever since, I wake up to my cell phone alarm around 9:30 each morning. Throw on a sundress, skip make up, tie my hair in a messy side braid, and head out the door with no shoes on. Because the only walking outside I’ll be doing is from my house to my car, then from my car, three steps to Nathan’s basement studio. [...] I worked on a song for a few days, then basically finished it in the car on the way to Nathan’s this morning. It. Is. So. Good. And I can safely say I am DONE writing this record!! This song is up-tempo, and hooky and sort of torn-sounding … like this horrible stressed confusion that comes on when you knew the person you’re pining away for is in the room. And for some reason, there are these invisible walls keeping things from being ok. So you’re not fine. And they’re not fine. And I’m so happy I wrote that song!! Footage of Taylor working on TSOU

June 30, 2010: Taylor tweets “@amosjheller is SLAYING a bass part in the studio right now. http://twitpic.com/21am7t”

Footage Nathan Chapman: “We tried several bassists until we had a bass part that worked, which was played by Amos Heller, of Taylor's live band. In Nashville, it's rare for a road musician to be on the record, but he earned his way into this record by kicking ass. In fact, all Taylor's road musicians played some parts on the album, which was important for me and her.”

July 15, 2010: The orchestra for Back To December and Haunted are recorded (footage here, same outfit as these candids)

Taylor (talking about Haunted): “I wanted the music and the orchestration to reflect the intensity of the emotion the song is about, so we recorded strings with Paul Buckmaster at Capitol Studios in Los Angeles. It was an amazing experience - recording this entire big, live string section that I think in the end really captured the intense, chaotic feeling of confusion I was looking for."

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

#txt*#timeline*#taylor swift #if this deletes again i might actually delete my account #let me know if theres a typo or anything my eyes are glazing over

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jpmarvel90 · 9 months

Text

Forgotten Birthday

Masterlist Scarlett Masterlist

Relationship: Scarlett x Reader

Summary: It's Y/n's 30th birthday but it seems like no one else has remembered.

Word Count: 4414

Y/n’s POV:

I was led in bed, snuggled next to my beautiful girlfriend Scarlett, excited to be turning 30 tomorrow. She had arrived home this morning on a break from filming which perfectly coincided with my birthday weekend. I had no idea what was planned to celebrate. When we spoke about it I told her that I didn’t care as long as I got to spend it with her. I had suggested spending the day at the beach as it was a special place to us. But she had told me she had it all under control and it would be a surprise.

I couldn’t sleep as I was excited to have her home in my arms. She had been really busy with filming so was pretty exhausted. I was happy being that creep that watches their girlfriend sleep. I was admiring her beauty and taking in every detail of her face. I loved this woman with all my heart and the last 2 years we had been together, were the best 2 years of my life!

I eventually fell a sleep myself but was woken up by a phone ringing. In my sleepy state I turn over and feel that Scarlett’s side of the bed is empty. As I start to wake up, I check my phone and see that it’s 6am. Before I can get out of bed, I hear Scarlett’s voice coming from the bathroom before she re-entered our bedroom.

“Sorry babe, I didn’t mean to wake you. I’m so sorry, but I’ve been called in to work. They’ve had an issue with some of the takes we did last week, and they need us to do the reshoots today or we’ll fall too far behind schedule.” Scarlett explained whilst starting to get ready.

“Oh, ok. How long do you think you’ll be gone for?” I asked, feeling slightly sad that I would get to spend the day with her. “I don’t know. But it sounds like it’s going to be a long day. But don’t worry, I’ve still got the week off after so we can hang out then.” Scarlett responds coming to sit on the bed next to me.

She starts running her hand through my hair smiling down at me. “Go back to sleep and enjoy the day to yourself.” She said placing a gentle kiss on my lips before leaving the bedroom. I was too shocked to respond. Was this a joke? Had she forgotten my birthday? I quickly jump out of bed and rush downstairs only to see that she has already gotten in the car and was pulling out of the drive.

I felt a bit deflated, but I know what the job is like. I’m sure she’s got plans for dinner and we can spend time together then. I slowly make my way back into bed and lie flat on my back looking at the ceiling. Well, this wasn’t how I expected my birthday to go.

I must have fallen back asleep as I’m woken up by my alarm at 9am. I check my phone and I’ve not had any messages, but I know that Scar will have been busy and she’s probably just trying to get everything done so she can get home quicker.

I decide to drop Lizzie a text to see if she is free to hang out instead as I sure as hell am not spending my 30th sitting around my house on my own.

Y/n:

Hey Liz, are you free today? Do you want to hang out?

Lizzie:

Hey Y/n/n! I’m so sorry I’ve been called into filming today so can’t. Hope you find someone to hang out with.

I looked at her response disappointed. I drop a few others a text but most of them were either on set or busy. I was a bit frustrated, not one person from my friend group had messaged me to wish me a happy birthday. At least my own team love me enough to remember.

Whilst sat at the kitchen island I was thinking about what I can do to enjoy my day. I can still have fun even if no one is here to spend it with me. Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything that would be fun to do on my own, so I end up throwing on some workout clothes and heading to the gym.

I spend a couple of hours at the gym, and it helps to vent some of the frustration I was feeling. However, it as still only lunch time so I had more time to kill. Once I had gotten back home, I opened my phone to see a text from Scarlett that made my heart drop.

Scar <;3:

I’m so sorry babe, but it looks like I’m going to be working here late so I’m just going to crash in my trailer. I’ll be back home tomorrow for lunch. I love you xx

I re-read the message a number of times and I really couldn’t believe it. She had actually forgotten. There was a part of me that thought this was part of an elaborate plan for a birthday surprise. But nope, my girlfriend had just forgot my birthday.

Y/n:

Oh, ok. Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.

I don’t want to respond but I don’t want to be a dick, so I send a very short message and throw myself onto the couch. My phone buzzes almost instantly and I look excited that it might have been Scar. But it was just an Instagram notification. I open the app and see that my sister has tagged me in a post.

The post consisted of two photos. One of us as little kids and one of us that we took the last time I was able to make it back home to England. I looked at the time and realised that my sister would be home from work by now so gave her a call. We talked for 45 minutes but I didn’t tell her that Scar had forgotten. I just said I was waiting to see what the birthday surprise was, and she seemed happy with that response.

It was now 3pm and I had had enough of sitting around moping at home. I hadn’t had any lunch, so I decided to go out for some food. I go to my favourite Thai restaurant which is close to the beach. I decide to grab a taxi as I’m going to celebrate my birthday properly and I plan on drinking… a lot.

After I’ve paid the taxi driver, I make my way into the restaurant and the owner greets me like family, as Scarlett and I eat here so regularly. “Y/n, my favourite customer! Are you here to celebrate your birthday?!” He asks. I smile at the fact that he has remembered, but I’m also frustrated that the owner of my favourite restaurant can remember my birthday, but my girlfriend can’t.

“Hi Duan, where else would I want to spend it?” I ask giving him a big smile as he leads me to my favourite table with a view of the ocean. “Would you like a drink whilst you wait for Miss Johansson?” Duan asked whilst pulling out my chair for me. “I’ll take a beer please and it’ll just be me today, so I’ll just take my usual order if that’s ok?” He gives me a suspicious look but thankfully doesn’t probe any further.

I spend the next couple of hours enjoying my food and drinking my beer. Duan and his wife join me in between dishes and I really enjoy catching up with them both. They are a huge part of why I kept coming back, and also why it was where I brought Scarlett on our first date. It also helped that the food is amazing here!

As time ticked on, I paid my bill and made my way to a bar on the beach. I sat on a table looking out to sea and watched the perfect view of the sunset whilst I carried on drinking. As I started to feel buzzed, I thought it as best to stop drinking. Although all I wanted to do right now as get drunk and forget about my shitty day, the adult part of my brain was telling me I needed to be sensible.

Instead, I decided to just walk along the beach, and I stopped at the point where I had asked Scarlett to be my girlfriend. Just over 2 years ago I stood here and confessed my love to her and promised that I was hers and only hers. But stood in this spot now I just felt alone.

I know it might seem dramatic to be this upset about a birthday, but I was so excited to have the whole weekend with Scarlett. The last 2 birthdays I’ve had with her have been quick visits due to work. But this year it meant even more as I knew I wouldn’t be able to see my family this time. Even though I’ve been in LA for the last 8 years, they have always come out for my birthday. But this year they couldn’t make it. But it was ok, because Scarlett was meant to be here.

I don’t notice that I’ve got a few tears falling down my face, which I quickly wipe away. I don’t want to stay in this spot any longer, so I make my way to the far end of the beach where it’s most quiet and away from the bars and restaurants that line the beaches’ edge.

Finding a nice spot, I sit in the sand and watch the waves gently lap against the shore, the moon shining down on the water. I love the beach and the ocean. It makes me feel calm and at peace. It’s what I need right now. I may not have had the birthday I wanted, but at least I got to spend it at the beach.

Scarlett’s POV:

I hated leaving Y/n this morning. I had only finished filming yesterday but here I am back on set to reshoot the scenes which hadn’t come out like they had wanted. Most of the cast had been dragged to set and most had the same feelings as me. Frustration.

It was a long day. By lunch I knew it was going to be a late finish so I deicide to just stay at my trailer tonight so I don’t disturb Y/n when I get home. She’ll probably be glad for a day to herself as I know she’s been busy with her own work at the recording studio these last couple of weeks.

I dropped her a text to let her know that I wouldn’t be home tonight and when I checked my phone later that day, I saw a message from Y/n.

Y/n:

Oh, ok. Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.

Well, that seems off. No “I love you” or kisses at the end. She’s definitely pissed off! I thought she would understand it’s a work emergency. We still have the whole week off together. I decide to give her a call and check that she’s ok before I head back to set, but it goes straight to voicemail. That’s odd, but I try not to think too much of it and get back to work.

Finally, we finish up the last scene for the day and it’s 10:30pm. We actually managed to finish up a bit earlier than planned but we decided that we’d grab take out together as a group as none of us had had dinner. Once we’re all out of costume the Russo brothers come over to join us.

“We both just wanted to say thank you so much for coming in so last minute today. Getting everything done today means we can keep on schedule for the rest of the shoot. Scarlett, we also want to say a special thanks to you for coming in when I know you had plans for Y/n’s birthday. I hope that you can still make something of your day.” My stomach dropped and I felt sick.

The rest of the cast’s eyes were wide, and they stared at me as I felt the colour drain from my face. “Wait what? It’s not Y/n’s birthday today. What’s the date?” I said confused, surely, I hadn’t forgotten my girlfriend’s birthday! “It’s June 3rd” Lizzie said with a shake in her voice. “FUCK!” I yell. I start pacing and now it all makes sense why she seemed sad this morning and then the text I got from her this afternoon.

I quickly grab my phone and call her, but it is still going straight to voicemail. “God damn it!” I am so angry at myself I can barely control it. “It’s ok Scar I’m sure she’ll understand. She’s probably found someone else to spend it with.” Chris says trying to comfort me. “That’s not the point Chris! I’m her girlfriend and I forgot her 30th birthday! How can I forget when I was going to pro…..” I cut myself of quickly. “Fuck she’s going to hate me!” I thought to myself.

I tried ringing again but got the same result. “I’m going to head home, she’s probably asleep.” I said, trying to convince myself that everything is ok, even though I know she never turns her phone off. “Do you want me to come with you?” Lizzie asked pulling me into a hug. I nod knowing that I need the company at the moment.

We make our way to the car and I start driving home. “How can I forget Lizzie? It’s not like I hadn’t planned anything for it. I had the perfect night planned and now it’s ruined.” I say, still trying to understand how my brain just forgot. “You’re not the only one who forgot Scar. She messaged most of us today to see if we wanted to spend the day with her, but we were all on set. None of us wished her a happy birthday.” Although Lizzie was trying to make me feel better, it actually just made me feel worse. She had spent her birthday alone.

When we pulled up to the house, I saw her car in the driveway but noticed all the lights were off. She was probably asleep. I quickly get out of the car and unlock the door. It’s eerily quiet. I make my way up to our bedroom and open the door slowly. “Baby…” I say into the darkness. As my eyes adjust to the light, I see that the bed is made, and no one is in it.

I search the rest of the house, but she’s not there. I meet Lizzie back in the kitchen, and she has a sad look on her face. “She’s not here. I’m worried Lizzie. It’s gone midnight and she’s not answering her phone.” I said panicked, running my hand through my hair. “It’s ok, we’ll find her. Where do you think she would be?” Lizzie asked, pulling out her phone to text the others.

I think for a while. When she’s pissed off, her go to is to find a bar and have a drink. But there are too many bars to even think where she could be. But she also loves the ocean. “I think we should head to the beach, she’s probably in one of the bars down there.” I say walking back out of my house to me car.

“What were you going to say when we were talking on set earlier? You cut yourself off before continuing.” Lizzie asked as we made the journey to the beach. “I uh, I had planned to propose…” I started but before I could finish Lizzie was squealing in her seat. “Oh my God! That is so exciting! How are you going to do it?” She excitedly questioned. “Ok calm down! I don’t think it’s going to happen now. If I didn’t have doubts about her answer before I do now!” I said trying to fight back the tears which were threatening.

Lizzie reached over and placed her hand on my knee and gave it a squeeze. “Scar, she loves you more than anything. Yes, she will be pissed at you for today, but she’s not doing to reject you because of it.” Her calming voice helps me relax slightly. “Do you have a ring?” She asked. I nodded in response. “It’s actually in the glove box.” I whisper.

Lizzie slowly opens the compartment and pulls out the ring box. As she opens it, she gasps slightly. “Scar, it’s beautiful!” I don’t respond. I had been so caught up with work, the proposal had kind of fallen out of my mind. Which is ridiculous because I’m crazy about Y/n. She’s my light, my world. I wasn’t doing a very good job at showing that right now.

The rest of the journey is silent, but thankfully not too long. We split up and go into different bars seeing if Y/n is there. It’s the 3rd bar that I go in where they said she was in there a couple of hours ago but had gone for a walk on the beach. I grab Lizzie and head straight to our spot on the beach. The place I had actually planned on proposing to her.

She wasn’t there so we started to walk along the beach. My panic slowly growing. If she wasn’t here, I had no idea where she could be. As we’re reaching the end of the beach, I’m ready to give up but then I see a body laid out on the sand. The closer I get the more I recognise who it is. Shit, I start to run. “Y/N! BABY! Are you ok?!” Lizzie is hot on my tail ready to call for help when thankfully Y/n moves as I land next to her.

I place my hands on her cheeks, tears now falling down my cheeks. “Oh, thank God, you’re ok!” I whisper whilst pulling her to a seated position and wrapping my arms around her in a tight hug. “I am so sorry babe! I know I can’t make up for it, but I promise that I didn’t mean to. God you had me so worried.” I ramble into her neck not letting her go. Y/n doesn’t say anything, she just hugs me back. “I no there is no excuse for forgetting your birthday, especially your 30th. All I can say is I’m sorry, please forgive me. I’m here now” I’m pleading with her now, but she pulls away from my hug.

“It’s not my birthday Scar.” She says simply, not making eye contact. “What do you mean?” I asked confused. She looks at her watch and says, “well as of 27 minutes ago, it stopped being my birthday.” I hadn’t realised the time. I didn’t make it. I turn her face towards me, and I can just see the hurt in her eyes. “Please talk to me” I say.

She takes a breath before speaking. “I don’t know what to say Scar. I know it’s just a birthday, but no one remembered except my team and my sister. Even my parents forgot. But I could cope with that, because the only person I wanted to spend my birthday was with you. But I get it, work is important.” My heart broke right there on the spot. Tears slowly fall down her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away and stood up breaking away from my arms.

“Y/n, please wait. Don’t go.” I said, reaching out to grab her arm. I look at Lizzie and she is shaking her hands at me to do something. Luckily Y/n stops, so I walk in front of her. She’s a couple of inches taller than me, so I reach up and lift her head that was hanging towards the floor, my hands resting on either cheek.

“Y/n, nothing is more important to me than you. I know today I haven’t exactly proven that to you. I let work get all too consuming and I forgot the most important day of the year. I had all these things planned for your birthday. I really did. But I ruined it and I don’t know if I can fix it.” I said sadly. “What did you have planned?” She asked me, looking up at me now.

“I was going to make you breakfast in bed, obviously pancakes, your favourite. Then I had hired a boat for us to take out into the bay so we could snorkel and swim out in the ocean. For dinner I was going to take you to Siam Thai, as I know that’s your favourite and then I wanted to end the night at our spot on the beach to watch the sunset and…uh yeah…” I trailed off at the end, not wanting to mention the proposal.

“That sounds like a perfect day. All my favourite things with my favourite person” Y/n whispered with a small smile on her face. “I think maybe now’s the time Scar.” I heard a voice behind me and forgot that Lizzie was still here. “Really, now when I’ve screwed up so badly.” Lizzie shakes her head and Y/n squeezes my hand. “What are you two on about?” She asks with a confused look on her face. I look back to Lizzie and I see her shake her hand at me with the small black box in it.

I nod and she quickly throws it in my direction. “This wasn’t how I wanted this to happen. It was meant to be perfect, but I love you and I hope this might make you realise how much and that I really am all in with you.” Y/n still has a confused look on her face unsure what is happening. I take a deep breath.

“I had planned for me to do this at our spot with the sun setting in the background, but this is romantic too with the moon reflecting on the water. We’ll just pretend that Lizzie isn’t creepily stood behind that tree.” I said, causing us both to laugh. I looked over a Lizzie again and she has her phone out recording.

“Y/n, baby. June 3rd is my favourite day, because it was the day you were born. The world became a better and brighter place on that day because you came into it. I love this day because it lets me celebrate the person that I am madly and deeply in love with. These last 2 years have been the best of my life. When I’m with you I feel safe, protected, loved and unbelievably happy. You have taught me how to love myself again whilst you have shown me unconditional love. The days when I am away from you, I crave to be with you. With you I want for nothing. Because you are all I need. But today, well yesterday technically, I was the worst girlfriend to you. I made you feel forgotten and unloved, which I hope you realise, you never are. I know I don’t deserve you because you deserve to be given the world and I failed to do that for you. But I hope you can forgive me and see that I am stood here in front of you, giving all of me to you. Now I had planned to do this on your birthday, because I wanted to show how, for me, it will always be you. I wanted to celebrate you by giving you a gesture of how unconditional my love is for you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you Y/n. I want to have a family with you and grow old with you.” I let go of Y/n’s hands and get down on one knee in the sand. I open the ring box before holding it out in front of me.

“Y/n Y/m/n Y/l/n, would you do me the greatest honour of marrying me?” I feel like I’m holding my breath as I wait for her to answer. Her hands fly to her face and I can see the tears in her eyes. She bends down in front of me and pulls me into a loving kiss. It is different to any kiss we’ve had, full of every feeling we want to say.

She pulls away and I find myself chasing her lips. I open my eyes when I hear her chuckle. “Yes, of course I will marry you! I love you” She responded with the biggest smile on her face which mirrored my own. I grabbed the ring and placed it on her finger. It fitted perfectly. She looked down and admired it before pulling me back into a passionate kiss, knocking me onto the sand.

“You know, I think I like this spot better than our other, it’s much more secluded.” I whisper seductively into Y/n’s ear. She giggles as she straddles me going back in for another kiss. “It’s not entirely secluded right now!” We hear Lizzie yell from her spot by the tree. Both of our faces go red with embarrassment. Y/n stands up and holds out her hands for me to take. She pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear. “We can come back tomorrow.”

I can feel my cheeks go an even darker shade of red as her lust filled eyes meet mine. We made our way over to Lizzie who squealed and jump at both of us. “Yay! I’m so happy for you both! Congratulations!” She said holding us both in a tight hug. We talked for a while before making our way back up to the car park.

We gave Lizzie a ride back home and then made our own way back. Whilst driving, I had my hand on Y/n’s thigh. Every chance I had I would steal a look or a kiss, when we were at a red light. I couldn’t get enough of her.

That week I made sure to make up for forgetting Y/n’s birthday. Our friends had arranged a surprise belated birthday/engagement party and I managed to fly Y/n’s family out to celebrate too. Although Y/n forgave me, it took me a while to forgive myself. I promised that I would never let me fiancé believe she was forgotten or unloved again.

#scarlett johansson fanfiction #scarlett johansson x y/n #scarlett johansson x reader #scarlett johansson #celebrity fanfic

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