#feel free to give your opinion if you think i’m not understanding where y’all are coming from but holy shit

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “one hit of your love addicted me. now i’m strung out on you, darlin’, can’t you see?” 🕊️🕰️✨📨

• what will your first love be like?

disclaimer ✩: take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i wanted to try something new by including edits but ofc tumblr is annoying and doesn’t let you post more than 1 video ugh. hope you all enjoy this though! love you much.

PILE ONE.

hey pile 1 🎀 right off the bat i gotta say…your person could possibly give anakin skywalker vibes visually lolololol very tall, handsome and broody. i'm also thinking of jon snow from ‘game of thrones’ hmmm i think this just ties into the fact that your person is in their bag a good 85% of the time! they analyze and process their thoughts & emotions a lot, and this won’t change especially when it comes to their love and devotion for you. they are very intense and purposeful when it comes to love — there’s no faking it or forcing it. they say what they mean, and mean what they say. they hold themselves to a very high standard so i think they’ll be in their head a lot when it comes down to approaching you/courting you. they want to make sure that they’re doing and saying the right things…they want to make sure that you’re comfortable. they will prioritize you and take the time out to really get to know you! they don’t want to do the whole cliché “wyd” texts or just take you out to the movies. no, they want to be able to take you to places you’ve never been before & treat you to beautiful experiences that will stay with you forever. that’s how highly they think of you, pile 1! they think you deserve the best of the best and they will do everything in their power to give you just that. this person has been through a lot in their life and they’ve felt so alone and misunderstood. 9x out of 10 if they just got out of a relationship, their ex didn’t understand them or couldn’t match them emotionally. your person is big on “everything happens for a reason” so when you come into their life they’re going to feel so much joy and relief, it’s like you’re their saving grace. it’s that energy of — where have you been all my life? that scene of anakin and padmé in ‘star wars: attack of the clones’ on the balcony is coming to mind…the longing in their eyes before they share their first kiss. a lot of people may talk about y'alls relationship/how y'all got together. it's nothing scandalous…i just see people being infatuated? i’m picking up a lot of outside influences/opinions so just be careful of that…don't have too many people in your business cause i’m picking up that some of these people don’t have the best intentions and are secretly jealous. it’s giving very much “fan behavior” hm they might keep tabs or ask lots of questions about you and your person’s relationship…it’s weird. i think for some of you, you’ve been single for a long time, so it’s going to be a shock to a lot of people when you pop out with this person. once your person comes into your life you may start to notice multiple people show romantic interest in you and you’ll be like??? where tf were y’all at when i was single for ____ years?! LMFAOOOOO that’s hilarious but back to your first love, it’ll be beautifully intense. i see you giggling a lot, staring at your person with big starry eyes and a lot of physical touch between you two. it may not even be in a flashy way? i can just see you coming up behind them and placing a hand on their back to make your presence known…i see a lot of moments of them holding you in their arms and resting their forehead against yours — they’re looking at you with so much intensity…deep concentration and passion etched across their face and you just break out into this bright smile and they just melt. you look so innocent compared to them like there’s this light in your eyes that’s left their own a long time ago, but they feel so safe…so free to be themselves when they’re with you. you’re their heart, pile 1. i’m hearing that scene from ‘the bear’ when carmy tells sydney “i couldn’t do it without you. i wouldn’t even want to do it without you…” AWWWWEEEEEE.

via tnqkins on tiktok

other channeled messages:

who's that girl? by eve, shravana moon/rising, doe eyes, baby pink, curly hair, strong arms, yin & yang energy, younger/age difference, vishaka scorpio moon, hypnotic gaze, 10:10, mirroring each other, distinct cologne

PILE TWO.

heyyy pile 2! you will NOT expect to fall in love with this person wow, your feelings for them will actually catch you off guard. this person is not your usual type and that's what's so intriguing about them…you’ll never know what to expect with them; they’ll keep you on your toes. i think that you keep repeating cycles or keep going back to someone who is no good for you, but once you meet this person there’s no going back. you’ll gravitate towards them like a month drawn to a flame lol you can’t fight these feelings even if you wanted to. you might meet this person through a mutual friend or meet them in a group setting, i see other people around you both as you talk and get to know each other. there’s so much warmth that this person radiates…they feel like home to you. a hug from them could fix your bad day, a kiss from them could make your heart skip a beat 🥹 and their smile?! to see them smile at you will give you an instant serotonin boost. this relationship feels divine…it feels fated. it’s giving “right person at the right time” like everything leading up to this connection will make so much sense once you’re actually together. some of you that chose this pile are quick to self-sabotage or cut off a relationship before you can get too emotionally invested. you’ve built these walls up because you’ve been through a lot of shit and you don’t want the extra baggage a relationship can sometimes bring, but it’s gonna be different with this person. you’re going to be so open to receiving their love and reciprocating it, there’s going to be such a healthy balance between you two. i’m hearing that this person is going to be a wish fulfillment, pile 2. this might be a long distance relationship at first — you might have to travel to see each other or you both will like to travel to different places together. they will value you so much! they will wine and dine you, surprise you with your favorite things and make sure you always have whatever your heart desires. they love you and they will have no problem showing that.

other channeled messages:

short king, sagittarius, bisexual, when harry met sally, opposites attract, capricorn man, matcha latte, boyfriend by big time rush, saturn dominant, west virgina, virgo/6H placements, ruby, freckles

PILE THREE.

pile 333 🦢 whoa i'm already picking up that this is a love that only grows stronger and better with time; it ages like fine wine. WOW WOW WOW. i'm ngl i feel like this person is your divine counterpart…when i say you two are a match made in heaven — i mean it. you complete each other in ways that other people will never truly understand. there’s this unspoken love and desire between you two initially; i see you both stealing a lot of glances at each other, waiting for the other to cave in and say something…anything. you both want to close that space between you but don’t know exactly how to. i don’t think either of you has ever felt this way before about anybody 😮‍💨 this love is strong AF. it’s never a dull moment between you two, there’s always that underlying passion and spark ready to consume you both. i’m picking up that either your ex or their ex is going to be very envious of this relationship. they almost feel blindsided in a sense…they thought you were going to come back to them and give them another chance, so it's going to make them feel some type of way when they see that you’ve moved on. please be cautious of this ex pile 3…they don’t have good intentions at all and i pick up an obsessive vibe from them. we are blocking that all the way out 🧿 anyways! your person’s love language is more than likely quality time…they loveeeeeee spending time with you and stepping out of their comfort zone to try things that you like. there’s a solid friendship at the root of this connection pile 3…like not only is this person your lover, but they’re also your best friend wrapped into one. you will give them the key to your heart and vice versa. any other options or third party situations will be cut off/left behind because all you both can see is each other! nothing and no one can tear this relationship down because it’s built on such a strong foundation, you can see yourself with this person years down the line from now and they feel the exact same way. you’re home to them. i know this is your first love pile 3 but i wouldn’t be surprised if they popped the question 💍 — i'm just sayinnnnnnnnnn!

other channeled messages:

feel it by jacquees ft. lloyd & rich homie quan, la perla lingerie, just left a toxic relationship, rock the boat by aaliyah, air sign placements, 26, 111, lemon drop, leo, jaded by drake

#pac #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #love reading #pac reading #intuitive reading #tarot reading #energy reading #love pac #pac tarot #tarot #tarot pac #p1utofairy

[maikowasalwaysbad]

I think what bothered me about Maiko was how half assed it actually was, and how it had wayyy too little scenes to be considered good or well written AT ALL. User @sokkastyles made a lot of good points concerning how badly written Maiko was, and how it did Mai’s character dirty. But what makes it so funny to me is how much lack of scenes there are for it to be good- let me explain:

We never get Mai’s reaction to Zuko’s banishment. None at all. It’s almost like the writers didn’t even plan this and only mashed them together due to them being single. We see her smirk at the thought of seeing him yes, but there’s no concern over Zuko literally being thrown in prison or possibly killed. I’m not saying Mai’s a bad person but…wouldn’t you worry about your partner? Or couldn’t the writers show her reaction to Zuko literally being burned and humiliated?

Where was the build up besides ONE literal flashback that the majority of people I know forgot about??? Literally, that kiss in episode 1 of Book 3 was out of NOWHERE- it felt like the writers needed to give him a love interest so they had Mai kiss him out of desperation. 😭 But even then with that flashback it was nowhere near convincing that Zuko loved her since childhood or something. And even for Mai it was honestly….eh. It’s a cute childhood crush thing where she may find hm attractive, yes. However how is this supposed to convince me it’s long term like they want me to believe? Plus, we literally see Zuko dislike it when Azula and Ty Lee tease them about being together. There’s no implications of him deep down liking Mai or anything in that flashback. Just him getting angry at it in fact.

Where tf were the scenes of Zuko worrying for Mai after the Boiling Rock? This one I can maybe understand due to maybe not enough runtime but…Wouldn’t you worry for someone you love if they’re going to be imprisoned and possibly punished heavily by your crazy sister??? He knows what Azula is capable of along with the Boiling Rock prison in general. So why didn’t we get any scenes of him worrying for her? If the writers wanted to really convince me on their relationship they could’ve at least give me a scene of him either freeing her or worrying for her afterwards LMAO. “Erm maybe offscreen” yeah, keyword: MAYBE.

Mai never confronted the Fire Nation was wrong. Literally, when did she confront the Fire Nation was wrong? Y’all expect me to believe she’s right for him when she didn’t even see that the Fire Nation was wrong? That’s like if a feminist were to date a man who didn’t support women’s rights- it’s just….blegh. And you wouldn’t support that relationship. Literally, where did she confront Ozai was wrong? She only saved Zuko because she “loved” him. But how are they supposed to be compatible due to those opposing ideals? Seems boring and really lazy ass writing that doesn’t confront those points lmao. “She probably realized it in the room when Zuko told her” he only said “that’s not how I see it” when she told him he was betraying his country. We don’t see a scene where Mai suddenly realizes the Fire Nation is bad. “Maybe offscreen” yeah, MAYBE. And that sort of proves my point Maiko is badly written and doesn’t have enough scenes to support it or make it good.

I can go more into depth on how multiple parts of the writing were flawed whether it be the characters or just the ship in general. However I won’t make this too long and will stop here. Overall, I feel Maiko could’ve had WAY more scenes to sell it to me or be better written. It’s not just the toxic moments that annoy me, but also the lack of scenes and writing. While I do agree it had potential, elements such as bad writing, too little time, etc made it badly written and half assed to me. And I hope Maiko shippers can respect my opinions and thoughts.

#avatar #avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of korra #atla #my meta #meta #atla meta #i will die on this fucking hill #i hope they don’t make maiko canon in the live action at least #avatar meta #anti maiko #atla critisism #avatar the last airbender critical #maiko anti #anti zuko x mai

[bxriles]

I’d like to have a general discussion on fanfiction and the nature of reviews. Please continue reading if you feel like it.

These comments/reviews don’t typically bother me. Honestly, this one is particularly boring. I once had someone DM me a goddamn 2 page paper how much they DESPISED my Tobirama story (which has since been taken down). I’ve gotten a decent amount of these comments. I had numerous people pick apart my Rosinante story and critique my writing as if they were Lord Byron. My personal favorite was on my Shisui story (you can still see it in the final chapter) where someone said, “now that I think about, it was the pacing that kept me from dropping since it definitely wasn’t the amateur plot.” And I would just like to point out the following:

I primarily write OC stories and one thing I’ve learned since being in fandoms since 2010 is that people hate OC stories. Not a big deal. I write what I like, you read what you like. Those don’t always match up and that’s fine! If you hate OC stories, then do not read them. I don’t understand why you need to send me a novel on how much you HATE my OC (this happened on my Tobirama story). Close out the fic and move on.

Fanfiction is free. I am not a professional author. I am a CPA & CFP. 99.99999% of fanfic writers are not professional authors. We do this for fun and because we like contributing to the fandom. I do not expect to read fics with the prose of Charles Dickens or Patrick Rothfuss or Jane Austen. If you think something is “too amateur” for you, then close out of it and move on.

I am a grown ass woman and I have thick skin. These comments may make me roll my eyes, but they don’t hurt my feelings the way they might hurt someone else’s. It makes me sad to see these comments because if I’m getting them, then I KNOW that some young kid out there is also getting them. That kid is getting bitchy feedback on their work that they are SO excited (and maybe a little nervous) to share. It hurts my heart to think that people are out there, doing this sort of thing for fun, and then get asshole responses. That’s the kind of thing that could make someone completely give up on something they love.

Finally, if you don’t like the fic or feel like it’s “cringey” then do not read. I have certain fic tropes that I cannot read because they make me cringe to death. I do not leave punk ass comments on someone’s story telling them I thought their story was hot garbage. I close out of it and move on.

I just don’t get it, y’all. Some of you are so entitled and rude that it makes me feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone. No one is putting a gun to your head and telling you to read a fic you think is bad. No one is forcing you to leave your negative opinions on a piece of content that you got for FREE. Some of y’all also act like you’re so well read too when you and I both know you’ve read NOTHING but Cassandra Clare and SJM for the last 7 years.

I know all of this has been said before but I felt the need to say it now like I’m all y’all’s big sister. Grow up. Close out of a fic if you don’t like it and keep your snarky ass opinions to yourself. If you want “real literature,” put down the fanfiction and go pick up The Count of Monte Cristo or Canterbury Tales.

#Personal #rant #my writing #fanfiction things #fanfiction #gojo satoru x reader #Gojo x reader #Nanami x reader #geto suguru #kento nanami #Geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fic #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #ryomen sukuna #Okkotsu yuta #gojohime #shoko ieiri #jjk fanfic #jjk imagines

[toyafreethoughts]

⌨️ᶻᶻᶻ...[Jaxrel] is typing... <3 ↻ᴹᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ˡᵒᵃᵈᵉᵈ ꒰Enjoy Your Matchups, Star!!꒱ 🦋~* @imjustabeanie01

A/N: Hello! Thank you so much for doing a Matchup Exchange with me ^_^ I hope you enjoy this! And since this is a lot for me the headcanons are short but they aren’t at the same time, hopefully you don’t mine and a reminder towards everyone, remember to drink water and sleep well :)

You’re Genshin Impact Partner is…

Alhaitham!

Honestly, I’ve seen you get matched up with this dude a lot and I understand why people would match you with this handsome man, he likes that your a person he can get along with easily so now he doesn’t have to be annoyed, In my opinion I don’t think he’s a morning person either if someone wakes him up he would get all cranky and it just spoils the entire day.

He enjoys your sarcasm! He will sometimes join you and you guys make sarcastic comments back to back, He also enjoys that your a chill person, he’s super fascinated that you enjoy reading too, i can tell there will be nights where you both are in bed enjoying the calmness of the night together while y’all read your books silently while soaking in each others presence.

When you mentioned you we’re insecure about your weight this man will not tolerate that at all!!! he loves you too much and he will always compliment you and almost anything to let you know that you are beautiful, he’s surprised whenever he receives gifts from you! it makes his heart skip a beat each time and he never fails to return the favor back.

You’re Honkai Star Rail Partner is…

Jing Yuan!

Another one I thought was perfect! I feel like you guys would get along way more then the other characters in the game, he likes talking with you a lot! or perhaps listening to you, I wanted to mention that since you isolate yourself Yuan will not let that slide right away either but he wouldn’t provoke you he’ll calmly ask you what’s the matter and if you don’t feel like talking about it he’ll give you some time but he’ll still want you to talk your problems out to him and he can see what he can do.

I feel like you and him on your guy’s free time you would read or maybe play a video game! I’m not gonna lie to you but Jing Yuan also enjoys psychical affection of any kind so your in for a treat! He’s always resting on your shoulder or hugging you from behind, once you get with him you will never have to feel any envy at all, he will always look out for your reckless behavior and possibly will help you if you ever get in trouble because of it.

He loves just being in your presence so much, your just so refreshing to him! He’s a partner you probably needed and your a partner he also needed in his life too.

You’re Helluva Boss Partner is…

Asmodeus!

Your probably questioning my choices right now but hear me out, even though he seems a bit… twisted I feel like he would fall for you instantly, not even because of Lust at all, we know he seems to have a hatred for “true love” but after he met you I feel like sees it completely different afterwards, when you said you were insecure about yourself he was absolutely baffled, why would you feel insecure about yourself? He will praise you everyday to get you to not be insecure of yourself anymore.

He would like engaging in any hobbies and interests you like! I feel like he would enjoy playing video games with you, he would also LOVE baking with you, remember the episode where he was cooking with fizz? you guys always bake / cook together no matter what! I feel like you guys would go to a cooking class as one of your dates LOL.

He loves receiving gifts from you! He’s always super thankful towards you everytime, he would also do the same in return, tbh he would buy you anything you wish to see you happy.

You’re Hazbin Hotel Partner is…

Husk!

When I was reading your matchup information I just immediately thought of him while doing so, this relationship would be long-(forever)-lasting for sure! He was super relieved when he saw that you never acted like the others around him, he’s glad your smart but he’ll always have to get you out of trying to start anything rebellious or dangerous, he doesn’t want you to get hurt but he’ll never say it at all.

He’s your #1 supporter at all times! Whenever your feeling down he’ll always do his best to make you feel better, maybe you can do something you like together to take your mind off whatever’s happening, you’ll probably have to start doing psychical affection around him, he’ll probably stiffen up at first but later on he tends to be more relaxed and hell… even when y’all were cuddling one time he fell asleep and you had to put him back in bed.

You’re JJBA Partner is…

Dio Brando!

I had a couple others in mind but it all came down to Dio here! Even though he’s very flashy and charismatic you made him fall for you with your unique personality, I feel like your that person who has no enemies with anyone unless if they wanna be enemies, but for this you and dio got along pretty quickly, you guys would throw playful sarcastic and flirty comments at each other, I don’t feel like you can ever get dio that angry so you might as well find someone else LOL.

He’s surprised when you started bringing gifts for him! He enjoys it so much, he may tease you a little but it’s always fine in the end whatsoever, he also finds you biting your lip habit very adorable to him, I feel like be would fine with psychical intimacy but you would have to initiate it.

You’re TWST Partner is…

Malleus Draconia!

This was another relationship I thought would go really good! He enjoys your presence a lot, he’s always polite to you and your polite to him, he would always scold you for your troublesome behavior if you ever get in trouble but it’s very light hearted and you know he’s just looking out for you, I can see you guys reading together in the library a lot, weather it’s romance books or manga you guys always have a good time anyways.

He enjoys helping you with anything, wether if its homework or problems with something else he’s always there to help and figure out stuff with you, I feel like he’s also talked out some of his own problems with you too, but not a lot, he enjoys hugging you a lot I believe, he also loves the gifts you get for him as well, you’ll see him bring you so much stuff.

You’re Jujustu Kaisen Partner is…

Nanami Kento!

I really enjoy this paring a lot! Finally your not another annoying headache to him like Gojo, he’s appreciative that your polite, whenever you bring up any ideas on anything that would cause something bad he’ll give you a hard “no” and give you an entire lecture on why it’s bad but personally he’s just caring for you, when you mentioned to him that you were kinda insecure about your weight he was there to give you reassurance and hug you to make you feel better.

I feel like you and him would have a amazing time together, wether it be at home cooking together to even going on dates and bringing gifts for each other yall never fail to be one of the best relationships ever, he’s also fascinated with the languages you speak, perhaps you can teach him about a thing or two.

You’re Demon Slayer Partner is…

Kyojuro Rengoku!

With other round-ups for this I feel like kyojuro is the best option for you! He’s super Optimistic and also super friendly and kind towards other people if you saw in the anime and manga, you guys we’re definitely the friends to lovers troupe for sure, you guys always spead your time talking with one another and you guys always have lunch together and sometimes even go out to eat, you may have to tone down his loudness but you’ll get there! He’s also another #1 supporter of yours as well.

He enjoys cuddling with you too! He also loves whenever you bring gifts for him! He never fails to return the favor as well too!! He loves how you are as a person so much, if you ever have any problems you can always go to him trust me.

Round-Ups: Douma, Tengen Uzui.

You’re Obey Me Partner is…

Lucifer!

This is probably one of the best pairings I’ve done here so far but to start this, he respects you so SO much! Even though he’s cold at first you’ll slither your way into his heart, you guys are always seen with each other! I feel like he’ll probably look a bit irritated when you mess with him but he would never yell at you or anything across that line, he doesn’t wanna scare you at all, he also appreciates a partner that’s smart, he’ll be the one who always gets you out of trouble, expect a lecture but it’s never to serious.

You’ll have to be the one to initiate cuddling and all that with him, but he’ll soften up more and more with you, just y’all do that stuff in private, he’ll reassure you when you need it a lot, you can always trust him with solving problems as well!

#[❁] albert / jaxrel posts ! #matchup #matchups

[khadijha]

native 101: how to spot a pretendian

[when speaking of indigenous people i’m discussing ai/an]

first and foremost, this is not to be taken (by non-natives) as permission to then label people native, or not native. this is simply a guide to help you guys discern, at least a little bit better, when we say someone is a pretendian and what that actually means.

tldr: the way they identify themselves (“native american” with no nation; top pretendian nations, etc.), the connection and history they have to their people / nation (this includes reconnecting / “new” natives), how well known “natives” =/= being native, and a brief mention of “looks” and/or word of mouth being the only deciding factor in being “native” (booboo stewart, kelsey chow, etc.), is how real indigenous people can quickly pick out a pretendian in the crowd.

there are plenty of indigenous people in the rpc, so feel free to ask me for more indigenous blogs you can use as a reference. i hope this guide provides you guys with some more insight and understanding; so you can stop asking us the same question, with differing fcs, every other week.

i’m going to put this disclaimer here, so i don’t keep repeating myself later on. if you’re not indigenous, your opinion does not matter when it comes to pretendians, blood quantum, “looks”, etc. but, if you have updated information on a faceclaim (whether they are or are not a pretendian) please send it! education is key.

the steps below does not mean that every single person doing these things are a pretendian! (example: a common pretendian nation is cherokee. malese jow is actually cherokee!) everybody keeps asking “how we know” so i figured to let y’all know what we work through and look for.

how do they identify themselves?

a lot of the time, pretendians will do one of two things.

one. they won’t ever name a specific nation. how many “native” people out there just call themselves native american? they don’t give any other factors, they don’t elaborate, they just leave it as that. for the most part, indigenous people will always give their nations name. we take pride in where we come from and are outspoken on our nations. even cody christian, for example, who has not played a native character and is extremely “not native looking” has his nations listed on his own website. any time you google “cody christian ethnicity” it will come up. so it doesn’t mean natives have to talk about it 24/7 to “be” indigenous, but it simply starts at naming a nation!

two. give the top pretendian tribes. care to take a guess? correct! cherokee! blackfoot is also a popular one, as well. it’s less often you catch a pretendian going for smaller known tribes. i personally think it’s because it’d be easier to look at tribal records and quickly find out they’re not apart of it, but maybe these pretendians just don’t know other nations! any time i hear somebody claim cherokee it’s like an immediate eye roll. (did y’all know there’s also different bands of cherokee?) the biggest culprit would be kelsey chow, who claimed eastern band! the nation themselves had to come out and say there is no record of her. but that was after she’d already taken native roles, where others were boasting about her indigeneity. being known for “being native” does not make you native! case and point.

two contd. speaking of claiming “lesser known” tribes, that still doesn’t give pretendians a pass! could also be you believe them because they’re not as well known. like julia jones claiming chickasaw and choctaw, tyler blackburn claiming comanche, etc. this isn’t an end all be all when people claim well known nations vs not well known ones, but just something to keep in mind! when looking to see if someone is pretendian, we don’t just look at one thing, like this, it’s a combination of basically everything in this post. so don’t let the nations fool you! it’s just one piece of the puzzle.

i will be talking a little later on about people who are known for being native and how harmful that impacts actual native people down below.

how do they connect to their nation?

are they from the rez? do they have traditional clothing? are they actively reconnecting (and what does that look like)?

not every native person has grown up in their culture, that’s not what being native is, but there still should be some sort of connection to them! an example of a native person who did not grow up in the culture and has since been reconnecting is kristin chirico who is cayuga and seneca! kristin has actively been taking the steps to connect to the cayuga and seneca people for the last few years and is very outspoken on that fact. other people have actually grown up in their nation (doesn’t necessarily have to be on a rez, but has had that close contact with their family and people). like kiowa gordon, martin sensmeier, quannah chasinghorse, khadijha red thunder, malese jow, cody christian, etc.

being native doesn’t equal growing up around native people, i want to make that clear. there is a lot of different avenues to be connected to one’s indigeneity, as listed above! but it’s important to see what real connection looks like when we brings up others who have no real connections because they’re pretendians. an example being tinsel korey - from twilight! she played sam’s wife. her real name is actual harsha patel and she’s indian (from india!). she’s claimed for so long that she was indigenous (she finally landed on claiming ojibwe, but has also previously claimed mohawk, cherokee, and cree) yet she had no active connection to the nation she claimed, she didn’t try to reconnect, she didn’t have ancestral grounds, etc.

there are many ways to be native. don’t mistake not being super connected / outspoken as them being fake or not “native enough” and don’t think anybody who is loud about being “native” in hollywood is. context is vital.

well known “natives” =/= being native.

please don’t then go ask “well so-and-so said they’re native and they’re an actor so does that mean they’re lying?” not necessarily! pay attention! get a grip!

kelsey chow, julia jones, tyler blackburn, and blair redford are just some of the ~popular~ pretendians around. but at one point, many thought that they were entirely indigenous. notoriety, getting indigenous roles, or just presenting yourself that way (to seem cool, to get jobs, to... idk) doesn’t mean somebody is inherently indigenous. in my pretendians masterlist, i have even more names there that you might not even realize aren’t native, as well as the phrase “it’s not about who you claim, it’s who claims you.” this doesn’t mean if you can be enrolled in a nation (i.e. blood quantum) but if there’s any record of your ancestors being apart of that nation! or you actively being apart of it / reconnecting.

for example, cody christian isn’t super outspoken on being indigenous, nor has he taken (as far as i know) any native role. that’s his own choice! this isn’t about that. you see him and you see a white man. but his mother grew up on the reservation, so did her parents, and so on. he is claimed by his people, even if he isn’t extremely vocal about it. he doesn’t need to prove that to you, it’s simply inherent. meanwhile, kelsey chow ran up and down hollywood screaming she was eastern cherokee. she then got cast as an indigenous woman (based on her words of being indigenous) and the eastern band said hold up! not on my watch! and explained they did not claim her.

you don’t need a specific blood amount or look to actually be indigenous. you need that ties to your culture and nation (no matter how far back it is) to be indigenous.

booboo stewart (looks).

firstly. he can choke. hollywood stop casting booboo the fool stewart as your indian fav challenge.

secondly! read my post about him here.

booboo stewart is quite possibly the most harmful pretendian there is. he’s made it so far on the notion he’s native. it’s just words. he’s made no effort to connect to his people, to be apart of the culture, but on top of that! they also haven’t claimed him. i’m not sure why they haven’t come out and said he is or is not apart of their nation. i wish they would! he’s taken multiple, countless, numerous roles from real native people.

his “looks” are the only thing he has going for him. he’s an asian man! he’s got small eyes and high cheekbones but non-natives are so stupid they think that means he’s a redskin! this is why we’re so vocal about looks not being important to be considered indigenous. because people see someone with ambiguous features calling themselves generokee and run with it.

i don’t want to write a dissertation on him, but he’s been silent on native issues, not speaking up or spreading awareness, and actively taking roles away from indigenous people. he’s not taking any asian roles the way he’s taking native roles, even though his mother is entirely asian, and he has never spoken about his culture or people apart from “being” native american. i’m not even sure if he, himself, has ever named a nation or if blackfoot got tossed around.

this man is a menace and it’s on sight for anybody who is a booboo apologist. thank you and goodnight.

conclusion.

thank you for reading all of this! send it to your friends, spread the word. i’m not taking any more excuses after this.

i want to end this by saying, again, this does not give non-natives a pass to cast judgements on others for their indigeneity. this can be used as a tool to help distinguish why we call someone a pretendian, or for people to come to us (after reading this) because they think so-and-so is a pretendian because of what we look for! do not go around saying someone is or isn’t indigenous unless a native person has already said so. now, we ask that nobody come to us inquiring “why” we say x, y, z is a pretendian. we’ve laid it all out for you. you don’t have to understand, that’s not your job, but you do have to listen to us about our issues. neewe! thanks.

let me know if you have any other questions i can add to this guide. i’m not sure what non-natives want to know, or don’t know, or are confused about.

#ref: native. #FINALLY! i've been sitting on this for so long #trying to finish and i quickly did so so if i left anything #out or something doesn't make sense please let me know! #native 101.

[dai-nana-han-agenda]

One thing I don't like about SNS fans is that some of them feel the need to drag Sakura through the mud in every one of their posts. Calling her a gay beard, saying she is nothing more than a device to convey Naruto’s feelings, calling her catty and jealous of Naruto because Sasuke likes him more than her, etc...

Like, Sakura deserves criticism just like everyone else does, but there's a fine line between criticism and just making shit up like saying Sakura was willing to give Naruto over to the Akatsuki just because of that line where she said getting closer to the Akatsuki would get them closer to Sasuke. Yes, before you ask, I have seen every single one of these claims in SNS posts before.

Like, I'm not the biggest fan of her, but I honestly just feel bad at this point. I know you're a big fan of her so what do you think?

omg anon, I just got war flashbacks to 2014 send help HFKDHKSHSKS.

I honestly did not expect my answer to be as long as it is (that’s on me, I should’ve known that I’d be incapable of shutting up) so I’m putting the rest of the response under the cut!

I feel the need to clarify to anyone that reads this: I am also a SNS fan so please don’t come for me!! I know there are plenty of SNS fans that are also Sakura stans (or at the very least, don’t have any strong opinions abt her character, which I’ll always take over the overly-negative ones) but there is definitely no denying that there’s a small percentage of that fandom who actively hate Sakura for things that are literally out of her control.

You basically summed up how I feel about the whole thing. I think there are legitimate reasons to dislike Sakura as a character, but once people start twisting the narrative - that’s when I get defensive. It’s been proven time and time again that Sakura has nothing but love for both Naruto and Sasuke (once again, I am asking the fandom to stop holding her hostage for shit she said in the very beginning of the manga!!) so this argument that Sakura would be catty / jealous / homophobic because of SNS’s bond literally makes no sense to me.

(Like, seriously. If y’all have CANON evidence, please feel free to let me know and we can discuss it! But most of the time, it’s just people deliberately twisting canon to fit their own personal agenda.)

In terms of the jealousy aspect, I personally don’t mind the characterization that Sakura would be jealous on like, a human level. I understand that. When the people you’re close with enter romantic relationships - especially in this case, when it’s literally her teammates - I think there’s a very natural sense of loss and envy that comes with that. Even in a platonic sense, when you feel that two of your friends have a stronger bond, or that they can connect on a level you will never understand, I think it’s very natural to feel jealous or left out. However, in my opinion, that jealousy would never turn into resentment or bitterness. Sakura has always valued the happiness of team, so at the end of the day, I genuinely think she would be supportive and it pisses me off when SNS fics paint her as this jaded ex / the villain of their ship. Like, y’all are going out of your way to make her the bad guy, and for what? 

It’s funny, I’ve actually read SNS fics where authors are actively aware that Sakura wouldn’t be bitchy, but write her as a bitchy character anyway because they need a villain for their story. Like... maybe you should take a step back and examine why you feel the need to make her purposefully homophobic. 

As for the jokes about her being a beard for Sasuke - well. When done without any real malice, I think they can be funny. But as a casual SS fan, I do think they get old really fucking quickly. Sakura literally has no agency & it baffles my mind when people blame her for ending up with Sasuke (I’m not even pulling this out of my ass - I’ve literally seen these takes.) Like, take it up to Kishimoto!! Leave her alone!! It’s so funny to me when people come up with these wild conspiracy theories as to how Sakura “tricked” Sasuke into marrying & having a child with her as if these aren’t characters with no real agency at the mercy of a heteronormative author. I totally understand if y’all disagree with SS - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, but I also take issue with how their canon relationship played out - but people who hate Sakura for ending up with Sasuke as if she had any real control over the matter... It honestly makes me laugh. It’s genuinely funny. Like damn, a fictional character who isn’t even the villain of the show really gets your blood boiling that badly - it’s very girlboss of her!

Also, I just need to throw this in here because it’s come up on my TL a few times and I want to vent: I honestly cannot fucking stand Boruto, none of that shit is canon to me, but SNS stans who deliberately make hateful jokes about how Sasuke purposefully abandoned Sakura and Sarada because he doesn’t actually love them... Like, that’s not the slay you think it is. Y’all are making fun of Sakura for having to be a single mother, but I think there’s something super fucking tragic about the fact that Sasuke, who has so much love for his family and his clan, basically abandons Sarada in her early childhood. I know he has his reasons, but in my opinion, it does a great disservice to his character. Idk, the Sasuke I know would never, but Kishimoto simply does not understand him like I do. Idk, I don’t watch Boruto, so I can’t really give a fully formed opinion about this, but this has been sitting on my mind for the past few days and I wanted to put it out there.

All this to say, I can’t control how anyone thinks. I’m waaaaay past the point where I feel the need to fight with anyone whose opinions I disagree with - the block & mute buttons are my friends and I use them often. As long as no one comes into my space and starts talking shit, especially since y’all KNOW Sakura is my ride or die, then I’m just living my best life.

#thank u for the ask!!! #i can literally talk abt naruto all day like how the fuck did this answer get so long lmfao #anyways - i feel the need to clarify that i love the sns fandom #every fandom has that ugly negative side - that’s why you just mute certain words & block people that deserve it ♥️ #i just wish antis would disappear like #it’s mf 2022. the anime has been over since 2017. how are y’all still starting shit 😭 #truly baffling to me that i still see the same arguments that i saw back in 20fucking14 #like it’s been 8 years and y’all still don’t have critical thinking skills? lmao #pro sakura haruno #ask #text post

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅱ Animate Tokuten Drama CD “The Older Brothers’ Roundtable ~Deciding on the Strongest Older Brother~”

Original title: 兄たちの座談会～最強の兄きめちゃいます！～

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS Do-S Kyuuketsu VERSUS Ⅱ Animate Tokuten Drama CD “The Older Brothers’ Roundtable ~Deciding on the Strongest Older Brother~” [CD not owned by me]

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Midorikawa Hikaru, Hirakawa Daisuke, Takahiro Sakurai, Tatsuhisa Suzuki & Toshiyuki Morikawa

Translator’s note: Even though I have definitely listened to this CD before, I actually forgot how it ended so I got to experience the hilarity in all its glory for a second time. xD Carla is definitely quite...intense in this CD lol. I have to agree with Yuma that I feel kind of bad for Shin. Karma kind of came back to bite him in the ass at the very end though, lol. Personally, I would choose Yuma to be my older brother out of this line-up. He would keep you on the right path but still make time for fun as well. uwu Also free piggybag rides y’all. >3

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Laito: Okay...~! Today we would like to welcome the elder brothers of the Sakamaki, Mukami and Tsukinami households to our studio for a roundtable discussion! I - Sakamaki Laito-kun - will serve as your host~! Even though I am the youngest triplet, I have been selected as the MC! And my assistant is...

*Dun dun dun*

Laito: None other than the girl who wraps us Vampires around her finger with her special blood ーー Bitch-chan!

The crowd cheers. 

Laito: Come on, Bitch-chan. Don’t just stand there frozen in place and introduce this bunch of grumps to the audience. 

*Rustle*

Laito: Nfu~ In a cute way, like you’re begging to me, okay?

Ayato: Anyway, Laito you bastard! What is this farce ‘bout!?

Ruki: Exactly. Perverted triplet. You owe us an explanation. Why did you summon us here? 

Laito: Nfu~ Ayato-kun, Ruki-kun, no need to make such a scary face~ Show me a smile!

Carla: I must say you have some nerve to call a Founder such as myself to this place. Sakamaki Laito. You expect me to smile? What kind of joke is that? 

Laito: ...I have a hard time dealing with this guy. As you can tell, he doesn’t understand a good joke.

Carla: I could have sworn I heard some slanter just now?

Laito: Oh no~ I said nothing!

Ayato: Oi! I don’t care what this guy says, I just want an explanation! Chichinashi, if Laito refuses to speak, you tell us! Aah? 

Shuu: Nn...Exactly. Why did you gather the most uninteresting combination of people imaginable? Are you hoping to start a fight or something? Pwaah...Nn...I’m sleepy...Give me an answer already.

You respond. 

Yuma: Aah...? A roundtable discussion consisting of the eldest members from each household where they discuss what it means to be an older brother? ーー Wait. Then why am I here!? I’m not an older brother.

Ruki: In your case...You were probably put in this group based on your physique. 

Shuu: Pfft...Isn’t it an issue of attitude instead? 

Carla: Heh...In short, he is simply large-framed? 

Yuma: Che! Don’t tall shit ‘bout me, ya two. ーー Also Ruki, don’t give them an opportunity to do so!

Ruki: My bad. It slipped out.

Laito: Relax, relax! To put it simply, they were simply one person short (1), so don’t let it bother you!

Yuma: Haah...!?

*Rustle*

Laito: Oh come on, I was just joking! Let...go!

*Thud*

Laito: Phew...Honestly, they really chose to gather all the people who can’t take a joke. 

Yuma: Once again, I’m not an older brother!?

Laito: I know that! ...But you can pass as one, don’t you think? 

Ruki: It can’t be helped. That is simply what makes up an older brother. They are supposed to make an earnest judgement and fix issues. 

Carla: Hmph! Mukami Ruki. While I do not enjoy having to share an opinion with you, I suppose it does boil doing to being serious. 

Shuu: Haah...What a pain in the ass. Besides, I don’t understand why we have to bear such a ridiculous responsibility just because we were born a little sooner? Haah...For one, my siblings only ever treat me as their older brother when it best benefits them. 

Yuma: Shuu...You’ve got it pretty tough, huh?

Shuu: Can you tell? 

Ayato: Right? In my case it’s like this, I’m considered the eldest of the triplets, but I was actually born last. (1) It’s only when the Shitty Old Man has somethin’ to complain ‘bout that he treats me as such. 

Shuu: ...! Are you sure you’re in any position to say that?

Ayato: Haah!? What do you mean?

Carla: As to be expected of an inferior species. I have no idea what the two of you are talking about.

Laito: Excuse me!? Things were finally starting to sound like a proper discussion, so could you not butt in, please!?

Carla: Hmph. I am in no position to have you tell me what to do. 

Laito: Haah...This is kind of exhausting. ーー Well, either way! We can conclude that being the eldest brother comes with a bunch of responsibilities and is rather bothersome, right? 

Ruki: Pretty much. 

Laito: Actually, you’re more slack than I thought, Ruki. 

Ruki: You noticed?

Yuma: Ruki’s pretty careless at times, ya know? The other day, I caught him drinkin’ tea from a chipped cup. 

Ruki: That was not a thoughtless decision. I did have my proper reason for it.

Ayato: Did you not have the money to buy a new one maybe? Hehe...!

Ruki: I’m surprised you got that. 

Yuma: For real?

Ayato: ...! I said that as a joke...

Laito: Oh~? No money? I thought the four of you were living the luxury life after receiving a bunch of money from that man? 

Carla: It seems that Karlheinz is more stingy with his money than I thought. Fufu...

Ruki: That is not true. We do have money. No, to be more precise, we had money. 

Shuu: ‘Had’? Which means you’re all out now?

Yuma: Did you use it? Don’t tell me, did Azusa have one of this moments and destroyed something!? 

Ruki: It was Kou. 

Ayato: Kou? What did he do? 

Ruki: He ordered an absurd amount of clams for his vongole bianco online. That is how he blew through our entire family budget. 

Yuma: ...Just how many did that guy buy!? ーー Wait! Is that why we’ve been eatin’ clams for breakfast, lunch and dinner for days now!?

Ruki: Exactly.

Laito: C-Couldn’t you get a refund? ...Actually, can you even buy those things online? 

Ruki: It appears that refunds are not accepted in regards to fresh food. But you can most definitely purchase them online. 

Yuma: Didn’t he do that on purpose!? Anyway, doesn’t he earn money by being an idol as well? 

Ruki: You might not be aware of this, but Kou does not know how to deal with money at all. Perhaps it is due to the fact that he never had any as a human, but he never saves and whenever he gets his paycheck, he spends it almost instantly. Just the other day, he bought nearly an entire store’s worth of accessoires for a certain ‘Maso Kitty’. 

Yuma: In other words...?

Ruki: We are broke! Our bank account is completely empty!

Carla: My consolences. 

Ruki: I certainly did not expect any pity from you. 

Shuu: I didn’t think you were a victim of your younger brother’s whims as well. 

Ruki: I very much am. Therefore, I understand how you feel...very well. 

Ayato: Right? Younger brothers are such a pain in the ass. 

Shuu: Again. You shouldn’t be the one saying that.

Laito: But you know...

Ayato: What?

Laito: I realize now that being the eldest sibling can be quite troublesome. ーー Well, putting that provoking Old Man over there aside. 

Carla: Excuse me? 

Laito: Oh! Seems like you’re actually aware of the fact that you’re basically an old man?

Carla: Hmph! Did you think that some simple insult would be enough to make me lose my composure? For one, being older means that one has accumulated more experience and status. While it is something one should be honoured for, instead you are basing your opinion on some public label of ‘older brother’. There is something seriously wrong with you two. 

Yuma: Ah? What is this guy goin’ on ‘bout? 

Ayato: Stop usin’ those big words!

Carla: I suppose I should have chosen a more simply explanation for people such as yourself which are the very personification of ignorance.  ...In other words...You should assert your dominance more! And make your younger siblings work for you! That is what I meant to imply.

Yuma: Ahー Your younger brother...What was his name again?

Laito: Shin-kun...I think? 

Yuma: Ah, right, right! I feel for the guy, really. 

Carla: Hmph. There are only two types of people in this world. Those who make the orders, and those who obey the orders. Sakamaki Shuu, and Mukami Ruki. In other words, the two of you are part of the latter category. 

Carla grabs hold of you. 

*Rustle rustle* 

Carla: Now tell me, woman. Which kind of man do you think is more older brother-like and attractive? ーー It’s obviously me, right?

Shuu: I wonder? Having that older brother charm basically means. ..

Shuu pulls you his way.

*Rustle* 

Shuu: ...Being reliable and tolerant, no? In other words, I fit the bill much better, don’t you think? I’m sure you agree...

Ruki: ...Ugh. That is not all, Livestock. 

Ruki pulls you over.

*Rustle*

Ruki: A true older brother should be attentive and have his younger siblings’ back when they are in need of help. In short, I meet that criteria the best out of us three. 

Carla: You poor excuse for a Demon (2)...and Sakamaki Shuu. The two of you should show a little more respect towards me. 

Shuu: Hah. No thanks.

Ruki: Exactly. You are unbelievably foolish if you believe that one’s race decides everything. 

Carla: Hah! Say whatever you want, you lowlives. 

The atmosphere grows very tense. 

Yuma: Oi, oi...Cut it out guys. If the three of ya keep on pullin’ her to different sides, you’ll tear her to pieces...

Ayato: Exacty! ...Also, why am I not included in the older brother mix!? ーー Chichinashi. You think so too, don’t you? 

Laito: Nfu~ Bitch-chan just went quiet, didn’t she? Oh no~ 

Ayato: ...Haah!? 

Yuma: Who cares if you’re part of the group or not? We gotta do somethin’ ‘bout these three.

*Rustle*

Carla: Hand her over. What is yours, is mine as well. Everything belongs to us Founders. 

Shuu: Che...You *beep* (3)

Ruki: One will be punished for being too greedy. That is what that man taught us.

Carla: Hah! I am not the slightest bit scared of what Karlheinz could do to me. 

Laito: At this rate, there might be some blood flowing soon. What should we do? ...Hey, what do you think, Bitch-chan?

You make a suggestion. 

Yuma: Aah...? An older brother competition? What do ya mean? Explain yerself. 

You elaborate. 

Laito: Heeh...I see. We pick a certain premise and have each member act out how they would react. Then whoever performed the best is declared the winner, right? ...Bitch-chan, that’s a genius idea! Fufu...Fufufu...

Ayato: Let me participate as well!

Yuma: Yeah, yeah. You’ve got more of those lil’ bro vibes goin’ on tho so don’t get yer hopes up too high;

Ayato: ...S-Shoot...!

Laito: Nfu~ Ayato-kun always has to be number one at everything, huh? 

Ayato: ...Aah!? Did you say somethin’!?

Laito: Oh no, not at all~ ーー Well then, to get back to the topic at hand. Let’s get this older brother competition started right away! The setting will be decided by...Yuma-kun!

Yuma: Eh!? Me!? Lemme think...Right...

Ayato: Help someone study. 

Yuma: ...You’re answerin’ for me!? God, fine by me.

Carla: Hm...Assist with one’s studies, you say? Very well. I shall go first. ...Woman, come here. I shall show you what a real older brother looks like. I am sure it will leave you trembling and in tears as you realize this is how a true older brother should act.

Shuu: Haah...You’re exaggerating. Haah...Just get to it already.

Carla: Hah. I suppose lowlives have little patience. ...Well then, let us get started.

Laito: ...Action!

*CLATTER*

*Rustle*

Carla: What is the matter? What is bothering you? ...You are having trouble with your schoolwork? Hmph. Good grief...You are hopeless...

*Rustle*

Yuma: Hm? He’s actually doin’ a decent job? I mean, strokin’ her head seems pretty goー

Carla suddenly starts pulling your hair as you shriek. 

Carla: ...Hm? It hurts, you say? Why of course it does. I am pulling your hair after all. Good grief...You imbicile! I cannot believe my own younger sister is not even capable of answering these problems some human came up with! You should be ashamed of yourself! Apologize to me! For dragging our family’s name through the mud! Come on!

You apologize.

Carla: Exactly. Show your remorse. ...Very well. Well then, I shall teach you how to solve this problem. 

*Rustle*

Carla: Did it hurt? However, I cannot always go easy on you. It is all about finding the right balance between gentle and harsh guidance. Well then, I hope you shall be careful not to receive the same treatment again.

Laito: Okay, cut!

Carla: That was easy. What do you think, Woman? Be honest and tell them that I am the best. Come on!

Shuu: Weren’t you just being a ruthless sadist just now?

Ruki: Exactly. He was talking about the carrot-and-stick method after all.

Yuma: Yeah...Rather than siblings, it felt like looking at S/M play instead...

Carla: Hmph! She is the one making the decision and not any of you lot.

You tell Carla that you want to give the others a chance first.

Carla: Excuse me? You want to keep going? Good grief...It should be blatantly obvious though.

Laito: You heard her! Well then, next up...Shuu, go ahead~!

Shuu: Haah...What a drag. To be honest, I don’t give a damn about who is the best older brother...That being said, I don’t want to lose against Mr. Big Talk and the droopy eyed blackhead. 

*Rustle*

Shuu: But you will take just about anyone, won’t you? Haha...As long as the guy will make you feel good.

Laito: Excuse me, Shuu? Could you please refrain from sexually harassing her?

Shuu: Hah...It’s pretty creepy to hear that coming from you, so cut it out. You’ve basically made sexual harassment your job. 

Laito: ...! ...I can’t let that one slide.

Shuu: It’s the truth, isn’t it?

Ruki: Haah...This will take forever. Let’s just get started. Ready? ーー Action!

*CLATTER*

Shuu: ...Hm? You want me to teach you? Che, too much trouble. For one, are you asking me for help, knowing very well that this isn’t my cup of tea? But...Well, it’d be pretty troublesome if you were to get a failing grade. The Old Man will be on my case about it. I’m the one who has to take responsibility, you see? If you understand what I mean, hurry up and open your textbook. 

*Flip*

Shuu: Haah...Really? Memory work? (4) In that case, you just gotta do this. Give me your pen. I’ll teach you how to never fail these kind of tests. 

You seem curious. 

Shuu: It’s fool-proof. But don’t tell anyone, okay?

*Scribble scribble*

Shuu: There...This should do. 

*Flip*

Shuu: Put this in your pencil case. 

You seem confused. 

Shuu: Haah? I promised I would show you a way to pass, right?”

You frown and tell him that is just plain cheating.

Shuu: Haah...Shut up. What’s the problem? You won’t find a better cheat sheet anywhere. 

Yuma: CUUUT! ーー You just showed her a way to avoid failing without actually teaching her anything at all!

Shuu: Is that bad? The point is to ensure that she passes the class. 

Ruki: I have no words for this.

Carla: Fufufu...As to be expected of the eldest son of an inferior species. I almost want to applaud you for your selfish ways of only thinking about yourself. 

Shuu: ...I never said that? If she passes, it benefits her. And it saves me a lot of trouble as well. I’m just killing two birds with one stone, no? 

Laito: Nfu~ I feel like you’re getting something fundamentally wrong with that reasoning...

Shuu: Once again, I don’t need to hear that from the guy whose very existence is fundamentally wrong. 

Ayato: Ahー Whatever. Can we just end this ridiculous competition already? 

Laito: Good point. It’s starting to get a little ridiculous so we should probably call it a daーー

Ruki: ...Oi! Hold up! It hasn’t been my turn yet!

Yuma: Ruki, you’re seriously gonna do this shit!?

Ruki: Of course! I’ve come too far to back down now. 

Carla: Woman! If you simply choose me, we can put an end to this whole ordeal.

Ruki: Don’t be ridiculous. ーー I’m going next. Oi, perverted Sakamakii! Get the clipperboard ready!

Laito: Ahー What a drag. Fine, fine! Well then...Action!

*CLATTER*

Ruki: ...What’s wrong? Are you having trouble with something? 

You explain.

Ruki: I see...Your schoolwork, huh?

*Rustle*

Ruki: You can ask your Onii-chan anything, okay? As you should be aware, your Onii-chan has excellent grades so this simple of a curriculum should be of no issue to me. In fact, there is very little reason for you to still attend classes when your onii-chan could simply teach you at home. 

You refuse this offer.

Ruki: I see. I suppose you are right that the school provides a fine learning space for social skills and will give you a basic understanding of how society works. As your Onii-chan, I am terribly pleased by the fact you take school so seriously. ーー Well then, shall we get started? First, question oneーー

Carla: CUT!

Ruki: ーー Oi! I’ve only just gotten started. I got way less time than any of you guys? 

Carla: It was making me nauseous.

Ayato: Disgusting. 

Shuu: Creepy...

Ruki: ...Haah!?

Ayato: What was the ‘Onii-chan’ crap? It gave me the heebie-jeebies! I got goosebumps all over!

Carla: Sakamaki Ayato. It seems like we actually share the same opinion for once. I too could simply not stand the shivers running down my spine, I ended up using the clipperboard. 

Ruki: ...!! Y-You don’t need to be so harsh! This is what an older brother should be like! You two just don’t understand because you’ve been a Vampire your whole lives!

Yuma: Eeeh? 

Ruki: Yuma! Agree with me! God!

Laito: But you know, I kind of understand wanting to say the word ‘Onii-chan’. ...Also~ I’d love to be addressed as such by Bitch-chan~ ‘O・ni・i・chan...~’ just like that!

Ayato: Haah...?

Shuu: ‘Onii-chan’, huh...?

Carla: Hm...

Ruki: See? It has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? 

Yuma: Ruki...Were you maybe just hoping that the Sow would call ya ‘Onii-chan’ or somethin’...? 

Ruki: ...N-No way!

Ayato: Chichinashi. Try calling me ‘Onii-chan’ for a sec.

Laito: Hey! No cutting in line!

Carla: Ahem! Exactly. The winner of the earlier competition shall be crowned the true older brother. In other words, only he holds the right to be called ‘Onii-chan’ by her!

Laito: But wait! What about us then? 

Ayato: Exactly! We didn’t participate in the fight!

Yuma: Was that thing from earlier really a fight? Also, it’s kinda creepy how desperate y’all are...

Laito: I assume that means you don’t want Bitch-chan to call you ‘Onii-chan’ in a cute tone?

Yuma: That’s...Hm...Hm...? Nn...? ーー ‘Kay! I’m in!

Ruki: Good grief, all of you...However! It was always a competition between just three people. Therefore, Laito, Ayato, nor Yuma have the right to be called ‘Onii-chan’!

Shuu: Haah...What a drag. I really don’t give a damn so just make your decision already. You’re gonna choose me, no? You can try and sugarcoat all you want, in the end, you can’t deny that one has to cheat to make it through life. That’s what I was trying to teach you. 

Carla: In that case, the winner should be me! I showed you just how cruel and strict this world!

Ruki: I wanted to tell you that one should treat their family with love and kindness. You understand, don’t you? Everything they say is just sophist nonsense.

Shuu: Pick me. 

Carla: Me!

Ruki: Me!

Ayato: Ahー Will you old geezers shut up already!? At this rate, we’ll never get to a conclusion! If we take a lesson from the past, this is usually the part where Chichinashi makes a run for iーー

You dash away.

Yuma: ...Wait!?

Laito: Oh dear~? 

Ayato: That bitch...! She run away as if on cue!

Laito: Nfu~ It’s the same old, it seems? ...Well, I already knew it would eventually end like this.

Yuma: There’s no way she could ever make up her mind and pick just one person. 

Carla: I...refuse to give up!

Shuu: On what?

Carla: I am a Founder! In other words, I am superior to any of you and must always come out on top!

Ruki: Basically...You’re saying that you haven’t given up on having her call you ‘Onii-chan’...?

Carla: ...!! D-Do not be ridiculous! That is not what I meant!

Laito: You know~ I kind of feel like everyone had one of their fetishes exposed today~ Fufu...Fufufu~

Yuma: You mean like a little sister fetish? Uwah! Disgustin’!

Ruki: I guess it’s simply part of our nature.

Ayato: When you think about it, we all share the same bloodline which can be traced back to the Founders. ...Hm? Which means...?

Ruki: ...?

Yuma: Hmー

Laito: Nfu~

Shuu: Ah...I see...

*Rustle*

Carla: W-Why are you all staring at me? Cut it out! You are not worthy of looking at me from up close!

Shuu: I guess it’s this guy’s fault that we get so caught up on the whole ‘big brother and little sister’ thing, huh? 

Carla: Ridiculous! I shall not allow for such insults to myself!

Yuma: Ya can say that but...

Carla: I am not - no, us Founders, do not have a sister complex, nor do we wish to monopolize them! Understood!?

Ayato: Guess we should let the other guys know ‘bout this as well. Lemme think...’Founders have the hots for little sisters., there. 

Carla: Wait...! When did you start posting on social media!? 

Ayato: There we go! Published! Don’t underestimate the internet’s power, Old Geezer!

Carla: Darnit...! Usually I am not fazed by anything, so how I could allow myself to get tricked like this? This cursed son of Karlheinz...! Ugh!

He turns around.

Carla: Heed my words! You will not go unpunished after tarnishing the Founders’ reputation like that!

Carla transforms into a Wolf and runs off.

*HOOOWL*

Ayato: Hahaha! He was talkin’ all big ‘bout being a Founder but he’s honestly such a pushover! ーー Don’t bother ever showin’ up again!

Yuma: Exactly!

Ruki: Haah...I ended up utterly wasting my time.

Yuma: Says the guy was the most into the whole thing.

Ruki: ...Hah!? 

Shuu: ...That’s one rival down.

Laito: Oh dear~? Is Shuu perhaps the one who’s the most crazy about little sisters?

Shuu: Well...Who knows? 

ーー THE END ーー

Translation notes

(1) Back when the triplets were born, Japan used a different system in regards to twins/triplets. Rather than the baby born first being considered the oldest siblings, they counted the other way around. Hence why Laito is called the youngest when he was born on March 20th and Ayato the oldest despite being born two whole days later on March 22nd. 

(2) Carla refers to the fact that Ruki was born human here. 

(3) I’m not sure if it’s like this in all versions, but Shuu’s phrase is actually censored here with a ‘beep’ sound. Unfortunately, I have no idea what he might have said with only the first and last syllable. ^^;; Since Carla is talking about wanting ownership over everything based on him being a Founder, I assume that it’s probably related to politics? I tried googling some words in regards to fascism, etc. because that obviously ties back to Japan’s history as well but I couldn’t really find any matches. :/

(4) 暗記物 or ‘anki-mono’ refers to any kind of task which requires you to learn a set of words, phrases, etc. by heart. (E.g. Learning vocubulary when studying a new language)

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #shuu sakamaki #ayato sakamaki #kanato sakamaki #ruki mukami #yuma mukami #carla tsukinami #diabolik lovers translation #diabolik lovers drama cd #drama cd

[cinnamonest]

Y’all are too nice to me I swear… here I am being horny and nasty on main and I’m getting encouraged, damn. But for real  ( ´ ω ` ) thank you so much!!

I’m gaining more confidence to post more smutty stuff and the kind of dark shit I like, so I might go back and make more nasty Childe content later on too… After Albedo, I got Razor and Zhongli coming up, and a few ones I just worked on for fun. But yeah, just in case it wasn’t clear for anyone who followed me, I’m going to be writing almost entirely dark content and some really nasty stuff, so just be aware of that, and don’t consume my writing if that’s something that may be harmful to you.

Albedo is so pretty… and such good dark content material… He treats you like a science experiment but has the audacity to make it hot smh

I haven’t seen a whole lot of him outside the cutscenes, so potentially ooc (as if yandere content isn’t already ooc, lmao)

Albedo - Yandere Profile

tw: general yandere content, obsessive behavior, stalking

tw (below cut): smut, noncon (seriously, you’ve been warned)

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

Very much aware. In the beginning, it frustrates him. He’s never been particularly attached to anyone, outside of his former instructor. He’s always enjoyed being out on his own, spending extended amounts of time by himself – the desire to be around someone is a foreign feeling for him. He immediately notices how bizarre the emotion is for him, how it changes his behaviors. His self awareness combined with perceptiveness makes him able to acutely recognize not only how unusual this emotion is for him, but also how the extent of his feelings, the types of desires they ignite in him, is unusual even for “normal” people who aren’t social recluses.

He’s frustrated by his own actions, feels embarrassed at how attached he is to you, how easily you make him flustered and trip over his words. As he is a very aware yandere, he’s definitely afraid of rejection to some degree. He has no idea how to navigate feelings and interactions with other people, he’s never really had the desire to form a particularly strong bond with anyone before. As such, he’ll come across as very awkward, and he will interact with you less than most yanderes – he knows he’s just going to embarrass himself if he talks to you, right? He’ll just mess up and say something strange, so instead, he opts to watch you from the shadows, go to places where you are, but keep a distance from you, just being able to watch you makes him feel fluttery and overwhelmed. 

He will definitely be one to collect things from you. He collects plenty of things for the sake of science, this is no different. Or so he tries to tell himself, but he can’t delude himself even if he tries. He knows its weird, he knows its wrong, but the overwhelming urge to have things of yours is too great to resist. He’ll start off with more innocent things, but it will gradually progress to not-so-innocent… items of yours.

It may not be obvious, but he’s actually a fairly sensitive person, at least regarding you. He places a lot of value in what you think of him, and wants to ensure you’ll respond positively to him. He views it like a science – there should be some formula by which he can put in the correct actions, and produce a specific result. Unfortunately, unlike real science, there’s not much room for trial and error – he feels he only has once chance.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

It will take some time, as he’s got to get over his own nerves first. He’s torn between the fear of you hating him for such a thing, it would be the end of the world for him, but also the desire to pull you away from the world, to keep you hidden from others, to have you all to himself, to be the only person that gets to look at you. If you start showing positive signs, reacting positively to his gifts, expressing interest in conversation with him and going out of your way to see him, he’ll start to get more confident, think that he can afford to do something that might sour your opinion of him, hoping it will merely be temporary.

He’ll probably start to do so several times and back out. He’ll set out at night, make it all the way to your room and stand over your sleeping form, and he’ll start to worry, wonder if someone saw him, see holes in his plans, he gets too nervous and bolts. He’ll persuade you into being alone with him, and although its the chance he’s looking for, again, he’ll get nervous, worry about being caught, run through all the what-ifs, and miss the chance. Honestly, when he does finally take you, it will probably be not planned, but in the heat of the moment, a rash decision from desperation. Something like you coming to visit him to tell him you’re leaving the area, came to say goodbye, and he’ll panic, ultimately grabbing you by the arm as you try to leave and dragging you back inside, silently, but forcefully.

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

Moderately difficult. Your best bet is to take advantage of his tendency to be absent minded when he’s absorbed in his work. He gets very lost in his thoughts, to a point where he’ll completely zone out and be oblivious to the world around him. On the downside, this means you won’t have much time to cover distance, he’ll be close behind the moment he realizes you’re gone.

The route he’ll probably take is actually one where you won’t need to be too restrained, because you’ll be taking… a little research trip. Out to the most freezing, desolate areas of the mountains. He’s convinced the knights he needs to stay there for his research, but in reality, he’s internally panicking, as he tries to figure out how to make this work – after all, you two can’t stay here forever. You’d be foolish to run out of the little cabin he’s bought, out into the perilous freezing cold and jagged, high slopes. At first, he thinks there’s no way you’d try it, so he’s content letting you have free reign to walk around as you please. If he has to leave for whatever reason, he’ll probably lock you into a single room, but he won’t chain you up, as again, he's really trying to avoid making you hate him.

If you prove to be determined to leave, he’ll be hurt, but mostly concerned for you. He’s actually not one to get too mad over an escape attempt – he’ll blame himself, or theorize it’s just a natural response your brain triggered. Against his first choice, he’ll end up having to get more strict with your restraints. If you get too whiny, though… you might trigger one of his more frustrated moments.

“I didn’t want to have to do this… I’m sorry. I can’t risk anything bad happening to you. Tell me if it’s too tight… I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t blame you. I know you’re probably panicking over all this, but you’ll get adjusted to it, I promise. Just… just give it some time… it’s not so bad, living with me, I promise.”

“Don’t be like that. You’re only tied up because you tried to leave. You should understand why you have to be kept like this… If you don’t want to be restrained, you shouldn’t have run out, trying to get yourself killed.”

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

For all his academic intelligence, he’s not highly skilled with people and socialization. He’s not too good at being able to tell when he’s being lied to, and he definitely won’t pick up on subtle manipulation. It’ll be pretty easy to wrap him around your finger, he’ll do what he can to make you happy.

Once he finds out you’ve lied to him, though, he’ll get pretty upset. He likely won’t trust you again, and will require proof of anything you say, or set out to find out if you’re telling him the truth or not.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

He’ll try to accommodate you, giving you things you ask for, but he has limits. He’s too paranoid to let you have any contact with the outside world. You do have him wrapped around your finger to an extent, though. Whatever he’s doing at the moment, he’ll drop it in a heartbeat if you want to spend time with him in any way, even if its just you asking for food or to take a walk. He’ll be willing to take you for very short trips outside, no further than a few yards from the lodging, if only because he knows sunlight is vital to your health.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

The basics will be there – don’t try to leave, don’t be difficult with him, try to cooperate, be obedient. However, he’s also particularly overprotective of anything that can hurt you – even yourself. Under no circumstances can you handle anything that can hurt you – that means no cooking, no knives, no lifting anything heavy, no going outside without him. If you’re determined to cook something, he’ll have to stand right behind you, and watch while you do it. If you get so much as a little cut or burn, he’ll take over, insisting you go sit down after he tends to your “wounds.”

At the very beginning, he’ll be hesitant to punish you too much, as part of his plan to get you to like him. However, he can be a little easily frustrated, and your safety and well-being comes first, even if it means he has to make you upset. He will have to restrain you, take away what little privileges you had. If you try to bolt while you’re outside, no more going outside. If you try something foolish like attacking him with a knife when he gives you cooking privileges, you will lose said privileges. Really, the worst part of it all is the humiliation, being treated like a dumb, incapable baby that can’t do anything for yourself. He insists on doing everything for you, even down to bathing you and dressing you, even feeding you if you can’t convince him to take restraints off your hands. He’ll talk down to you in that way, too, talking to you as if you were a child.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

It’s a situation he’s not prepared to handle, and he’s unsure of what to do. It strikes fear in him that you might have someone else interested, so he has to get rid of them as quickly as possible. He’s not opposed to killing, if it comes down to that, but initially, he’ll try to work behind the scenes – expose something that will ruin their reputation, get them accused of a crime. This would also be one of the possible aforementioned situations that might cause him to kidnap you a bit earlier than he normally would, as well. If he can’t get rid of them easily, he’ll just take you away from them.

He will absolutely try to make you hate them, try to ruin your image of them, and he’s rather good at falsifying evidence for his claims of their behavior. With his alchemic skills, that sort of thing is easily possible.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

He gets more frustrated than anything, when you’re being difficult. This is mostly just him sighing quite a bit, speaking a bit harshly, even pouting and sulking a bit if you’ve offended him. But true anger in him is not pretty, and almost never happens. It’s a buildup, a slow rise that has a boiling point. If he reaches that point, he can definitely get mad enough to hurt you, it’s actually kind of terrifying in how sharp of a contrast it is to how he normally is. It’s a side of him that’s very difficult to draw out. He’s not one to yell or shout, no, his anger is a suffocating silence, he slams down whatever he’s holding as he stomps over to you, grabbing you by the arms hard enough to bruise, and dragging you by the hair to whatever he has planned.

With mild frustration outbursts, he will feel justified, but if it reaches that intense anger, he’ll usually give at least a little apology, tell you he didn’t mean to go that far. He hates to think of you fearing him, but ultimately, if that’s what’s necessary to keep you safe, then he can live with it.

Do they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

It’s an odd mix. On one hand, he sees you as utterly fascinating, the most beautiful thing he’s ever laid eyes on, more than any landscape or art he’s seen or made, an invaluable treasure to be kept on a high pedestal. Simultaneously, however, he will treat you like a child, thinks you can’t do anything for yourself. It’s a bizarre duality, but one he is consistent on. You’re precious, so very precious, and he’s undeserving of you, but at the same time, you need him to be safe and sound.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

Of the genshin boys, he’s one of the most determined. He’s not good with people, and he doesn’t really have anyone particularly close to him left anymore. He tends to keep people at a distance. You sort of fill an space inside him that he never knew was empty, a void he wasn’t aware he had until it was consumed by thoughts of you. He doesn’t need anyone or anything else, so long as he has you with him, but he really, really wants it to be true that you love him. He doesn’t need you to even love him as much as he loves you – he doesn’t even know if that’s possible – but he just wants to know that, even if only in the slightest, his feelings are returned. He’s so distant from everyone else, but you wormed your way into his heart, even if you didn’t intend to, with your smiles and softness and kindness towards him. For the first time, he feels weak around someone, but in a way, it’s a good feeling. He wants to be able to be vulnerable, be weak, and not have anything to fear by doing so.

He’s lucid, though, so he doesn’t expect you to love him immediately. As he’s not good with words or displays of affection, he’ll get you all sorts of gifts. Rare items that you wonder how the hell he obtained them, beautifully crafted little trinkets from all his searching and time traveling, more clothes than you could ever wear. You’ll start to feel a little guilty, it’s so much, and you’re certain he doesn’t have that much money. He’ll blow it off, say it’s no big deal, but if you insist, he’ll have to start finding new ways to convey his affection. In captivity, he won’t stop trying, but he’ll understand why you might be angry. In that case, he will utilize what he’s learned from research in books he’s read. He knows that eventually, with him being the only one you have, the only company, the only one to talk to, the only source of touch, you’ll eventually have to cave. You’ll become attached to him, bond with him, whether you like it or not. He knows how powerful the affect of touch can be, and will make sure to hold you in his arms, keep you on his lap, make you crave the only source of human touch you can get. Dependency, he thinks, is the gateway to you loving him.

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Drawings. So many of them. Much like his drawings he uses in notes, he’s found he tends to start scribbling a familiar face when his mind drifts off. He’s memorized every little detail of your face, every curve on your body. If you’re ever snooping around, you’ll eventually uncover a book of sketches he has solely dedicated to drawings of you. Drawings of you laughing, smiling, sleeping, drawings that you’re certain were of real events you were at, that you didn’t remember him being at. Every bit in perfect detail. If you confront him about it, he’ll be horrifically embarrassed, insisting they’re no good, or, if you’re upset, trying to reassure you it was all from his mind and totally not him lurking in the shadows as he watches you.

Also, if you want to make him happy, get him on one of his spiels about his work, his interests, anything that he can catch onto and go on and on about. He’ll catch himself rambling and apologize for being “annoying,” but if you reassure him, and express interest, that will make him feel particularly appreciated. It would be a primary way to get on his good side and manipulate him, or lull him into false security to make your escape, if that’s what you’re looking to do. But be warned, it will only work once, and he’ll be far too hurt to let himself indulge in sharing these things with you again.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

Publicly, definitely highly reserved. He’s easily flustered, and thinks of sex in a very scientific way, for the purpose of procreation. For fun? He knows it’s enjoyable, but can’t separate it from his very analytic, scientific way of viewing things. It’s a formula, you touch this here and pull that there, and the result is supposed to be orgasmic bliss. He just isn’t very familiar with pleasure – he doesn’t drag out masturbation, even, as that would be a waste of time. He gets it over with quickly, taking short breaks during his work. He is a fairly high drive, though, and gets the urge fairly frequently, about once or twice a day.

He’ll be hornier with your presence, having to leave more frequently to get off to the little things you do, quickly getting himself off while recalling the mental image of you holding a pen in your mouth, the little moan when you stretch, the way your clothes fit to your frame.

Prior to abduction, he’s not particularly touchy at all, in fact, he’s very jumpy if you touch him. Once he’s gotten you alone with him for the foreseeable future, isolated, dependent, he’ll gain more confidence, be willing to give into his cravings to touch you, hold you, eventually progressing to groping you, moving his hands up and down your body, under your clothes, slowly peeling them off.

He’s initially a bit ashamed of his urges towards you, feels guilty every time he gets off to you, but will likewise gain more confidence once you're his.

A guy can only fight off the urge for so long before he cracks, before he can’t continue to care about the consequences. For him, that point is when he knows he finally has you all to himself – his worries fade, and while the guilt is still there, it’s far outweighed by desire.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

He does care, but as stated previously, it’s hard to fight the urge for so long. It will be torture, but for the first few days, he wants you to “adjust” to your new “home,” and not add to your panic. After that, though, he’ll try to assess your reactions. If you’re extremely resistant, he’ll give you more “adjustment” time. He can’t really hold off forever, though, and eventually, maybe a few weeks in, comes to the conclusion that if he just does what he wants, so long as he’s gentle and reminds you he loves you, it will help you get past the mental barrier in your mind. He’s convinced there’s simply a psychological issue, and that sometimes, people need a push. It’s like having a friend who can’t swim – sometimes, you just have to throw them into the water, help them get over that mental hurdle, and they’ll be grateful in the end. That’s what he tells himself to justify it, anyway. He has enough… anatomical prerequisite knowledge to know what’s good and what’s bad, and will take your body’s positive reactions as a sign of what you really want. Is definitely the kind to use that against you, holding up his fingers to your face after you cum on them, as if to prove a point.

“See? I told you, you just have to let go and give in to what you want… if you didn’t, my fingers wouldn’t be dripping like this, now would they?”

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

He wants to experiment on you. This manifests as him being something of a service top without really intending to be, even if you’re not exactly happy about it. He likes to watch your reactions, watch the way your body moves, test the pleasure you get from different things, discover what it is that you like, even if you weren’t aware of it. In particular, he’s fascinated by the fact that girls have so many types of orgasms. He’ll want to try them all, watch and see which ones are more intense than others, which ones make you convulse, makes your toes curl, your eyes roll back. Which erogenous zones make your breath hitch, make you twitch and whimper. Probably the type to be determined that he can make you cum just from something like sucking on your nipples, and he won’t stop until he achieves it. He’ll also want to try everything. At least anything that he thinks has some potential to appeal to him, mentally. He’s a busy man and hasn’t really taken the time to explore his own sexuality, and has virtually zero experience.

Edging, overstimulation, forced orgasms

Experimentation also means testing limits and thresholds. He’ll bring you up to the edge, learn to watch for the slightest of signs that you’re close, listen to your breath, watch your face, wait until you’re just so close and then draw back, stopping just short of letting you catch that high. Then he’ll let you drift back down, and bring you back up again. No amount of begging will make him show you any mercy, you’ll only cum when he’s decided he’s observed enough. He wants to push the limit, see just how close to the edge of orgasm you can get without spilling over, just how much it takes to drive you insane. He’ll also want to see how far you can go after it as well. Orgasm won’t be the end of his ministrations, no, he wants to see how much stimulation you can take. You won’t be able to get away from his tongue, he’ll grab you by the hips and slam you back down, continuing to lap at you even if you’re so sensitive it’s painful. Watching you cum will just make him rut into you harder, bruising and abusing your insides to a point that they’re so sore you can feel it long after it’s over. At first, he might feel a little guilty, and may very well after it’s over, but in the heat of the moment, he can’t fight the insatiable urge to listen to you squeal, feel you convulse, watch the tears from overwhelming pleasure run down your face.

He’ll make it his personal mission to see how many orgasms the female body is capable of within a given amount of time - per day, per hour, how quickly you can have them in succession. For scientific purposes, of course. Anatomy and human biology isn’t really his main field of focus, but he likes to expand his research horizons.

“Just one more… cum one more time for me, then we’ll be done. Come on… I know you can, just one more.”

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

He’s actually good with children, usually. He has a calming effect on kids. He isn’t sure how he feels, though. To some degree, he fears his capabilities to parent, thinks he would be too cold to be a good father. But he also likes the idea of a protege, an heir to his title, one he can teach everything he knows. If he does end up having one, this fucking nerd man will read every book on pregnancy, birthing, and parenting that he can get his hands on.

Also, he’ll absolutely be one to track your cycles, even better than you can. He’s researched enough to know exactly when you’re most or least likely to get pregnant, and you can’t help but notice how much more he seems to cum in you when you’re at your most fertile. Nor can he deny how satisfying it is to watch his cum slowly drip out of you, watching you twitch with aftershock and slowly drift off in exhaustion.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

Unfortunately for you, since overstimulation and edging are already normal and everyday for you, he’ll have to amp it up a bit if he’s trying to make you regret something. He might get rougher, abusing more pleasure spots on your body, keeping his hands, mouth, and cock occupied all at once with driving you over the edge until it’s painful. But if you’re exceptionally misbehaved, you might not ever get a release to his edging, instead left to suffer from being so close, tied up so you can’t finish yourself off.

In moments when he’s really, truly angry, the peak of it, and that blends with arousal, he’ll really, really throatfuck you. Grabbing the back of your head and shoving his cock down as deep as he can, holding you there as you gag and choke, feeling your throat convulse around him, desperately trying to pull back for air. The movements are harsh and brutal, pulling harshly on your hair, moving at a pace so fast you barely have a second to breathe. Thankfully, when it gets like that, he won’t last long, emptying out into your throat, holding your jaw shut and demanding you swallow. If any spills off on your chin, he’ll gather it up on his fingers, hold it to your face, and command you to open your mouth, suck it off, and swallow again. That’s at the peak of his anger, though, and you’ll have to substantially piss him off to reach that point. He’ll apologize later, holding you close, but his guilt doesn’t change the fact that it’s one of the most intense orgasms that he’ll have, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t sometimes think of doing it again, even without provocation. He’s restrained enough not to, but the thought is there… and deep down, he’ll entertain the idea.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

The curves of your body, no matter how defined or faint they are, no matter the general shape of your body, to him it’s the most beautiful thing. He’ll definitely want to draw you, even if you’re not too keen on posing. He’ll run his hands up and down your body, squeezing every little bit of flesh he can, moving his palms over every little curve, every inch of your skin.

#yandere x reader #yandere genshin impact #yandere albedo x reader #tw: extreme content #tw: noncon #yandere albedo

[osakunt]

Hello dear ! I don’t know if you write for Hakkai but if you do, could you write an x fem reader in which the reader discovers the scar he has because of when his brother beat him up. And he’ll all embarrassed about it…

(Fluff and/or angst one shot pls🙏🏼)

It’s okay if you won’t write it ! Have a nice day<3

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➫ 𝗛𝗮𝗸𝗸𝗮𝗶 𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗯𝗮 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 [𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗽]

➫ 𝗢𝗛 𝗬𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗦𝗦 !! 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼𝗼, 𝗹𝗼𝗹. 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆/𝗻𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹. 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲 <𝟯

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It is said that Hakkai is timid around girls and took him a while to get used to being around Hinata - a little too long, actually. But this didn’t stop him from getting close to you through the years and developing a crush that then resulted him becoming your boyfriend. One thing that did bother him here and there was the scar going down his lips that no matter how he saw it you’d always tell him that,that scar didn’t matter. That nobody cared about it. In your opinion it made him look hot.

The first his insecurities came in was when he realized he liked you. You had been around when he was scouted as the second in command for Mitsuya’s division but shortly after sentenced to house arrest for beating up some kid at school, causing his parents to press charges. When you came back you were put back into the second division and automatically noticed Hakkai. Not because you didn’t know him but because he avoided you. You didn’t think much of it but once Toman was dismantled and you two went to the same high school it made you think if the youngest of the Shiba siblings didn’t like you.

Going to Mitsuya, you sit down on a bench outside the school where he was drawing up a very detailed design for a jacket. “Da’ya know why Hakkai doesn’t like me ? Is it cause I beat up that kid a few years ago or cause he simply doesn’t like me ?” You look over at Mitsuya who smiles in amusement. “Why don’t you go and ask him yourself.” “…..yea,good point- I’ll beat the answer out of ‘em” you get up pulling the hem of your uniform skirt down that had risen” “try to not give him another scar, (y/n)” Mitsuya waves you off still looking down at his drawing “….did she just say she’d beat him up for answers ?!…..Baji you sure did corrupt that girl”

After long hours of sitting down, the school day came to an end. “Wonder what ‘Suya meant when he said to not give the kid another scar.” As you approach the school enterence you spot Hakkai who makes eye contact with you then quickly looks down- his hair falling over his face covering up his scar. You didn’t really get to take in his face even when you met so now was your chance to poke at the nagging wonder of the scar and ask him why he was avoiding you.

Catching up to him , you pull the sleeve of his shirt roughly, yanking him back. You look up at him with a stern look. “So how come you don’t like me ?” “I-I-I-what !? W-who said I don’t like you ?? I like you-like you!” He panicked giving himself away. Your eyes shine, looking up at his scar. Reaching up to touch it he flinches then turns his head to the side so you wouldn’t look at his scar “please don’t look at it” he mumbles embarrassed. You understanding you don’t try to get him to show you - nope not that. Instead you turn around pulling up your uniform shirt to show him the diagonal scar going down your back. “Got this while fighting against a few black dragon members. I stopped going to the beach with the others afraid of showing the scar when I first got it. I didn’t want my bathing suit top to expose my imperfection but as time went on , I accepted it. This scar shows that I survived the stab and I’m pretty damn proud that I survived a deep wound” you turn back around pulling your shirt back down - seeing Hakkai’s dumbfounded expression. He never would have thought that you would have such a scar, so it blew him away when you showed him with ease.

You invite him to walk with you the reaminaing of the distance home. The walk was silent but a comfortable silence. Stealing looks at you, Hakkai decides that he’d tell you how he got his scar. You had told him about yours so easily so it wouldn’t hurt to tell you his scar story. “Taiju got pissed one day….he then came for me - square to the face.” He tells you looking down at his shoes, afraid to look up.

“Hakkai, I think your scar is hot. It also shows that you survived. Survived being under an abusive brother. You and Yuzuha went through hell but you’re both free of him now.” You speak lettinghim know that things were alright on your part. “…uh..uhm…how about we go to the store a block from here and get some food. Let’s hang out afterwards, yea ?” You smile at him dismissing the sorrow that was feeding his insecurity. From then on you two got close and by the time you two graduated y’all started going out.

[𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲]

“What if they don’t like me ? They’ll judge me by my appearance? Who’d want a dude with a scar going straight down his face on that run way !!?” Hakkai points to his scar stopping in the middle of the room looking at you and his sister. He was to be on the run way in less than ten minutes and manses was freaking out.

Yuzuha steps out the room to get him some water to calm down, leaving you and him behind. “Love, this isn’t the first time you’re in the run way. You’re gorgeous Hakkai !! Remember that” you fix up the small crease on the street wear clothing that was to be modeled by him. All the walking from side to side had the shirt start to pop out and crease from the movement he had going. Fixing it up quickly , you look up at him with a smile reassuring him that things were going to be alright. Bending down he gives you a kiss then consumes you into a hug squeezing you slightly. “Ya sure about that, doll ?” “Of course I am. You’re the best looking model these people have - now c’mon I wanna see my fine ass fiancé cat walk !!”

As the show went on and Hakkai’s turn came around for him to walk - the crowd went wild with seeing him walk. His stature, his expression, his looks, the clothing and the scar that added to his looks. Had people fanboying and fangirling over him. Finding you in the crowd he looked like he was about to cry from how the crowd had reacted; the happy feeling bubbling inside him boosted his confidence resulting in him giving his best performance yet. After the show was over Yuzuha hugs you “whatever you did to get him up there and not pussy out, is beyond me but thank you” “aw, Yuzu, a little reassuring goes a long way.” You wink at her letting go of her embrace and making your way backstage.

“YOU DID IT, BABY !!” You run towards the tall male tackling him onto the floor. “I sure did, huh ? Thank you” he chuckles under you. “Wanna go to the twins place ? They’ll give us free food!! I’ll get the whole group to meet us there, they made it just in time to see you walk” “free food ?? HELL YEA !! ” you two get up, sprinting to the closest exit dragging along his sister to celebrate the accomplishment.

#tokyo revengers x y/n #tokyo revengers x you #tokyo revengers x reader #hakkai shiba #hakkai x reader #hakkai x y/n #hakkai scenarios #hakkai x you #tokyo revengers yuzuha #mitsuya x y/n #tokrev mitsuya #mitsuya x you #mitsuya x reader #tokyorev hakkai #taiju shiba #hakkai shiba fluff #tokyo revengers fluff #yuzuha shiba

[tennessoui]

If you're up up to it, how about obikin and 42?

yes!!! Prompt 42 is Star-Crossed Lovers, but star-crossed lovers are soooooo out now. 'Crossed the stars to be lovers' is IN, baby!!

(2.7k)

Someone has left a letter on his bunk. Obi-Wan as a rule doesn’t get letters. Actually, as a rule, Obi-Wan has never wanted to receive a letter in his entire life. They all have datapads for a reason, and it’s because they’ve evolved past the need for flimsi and ink when there are means at their disposal to deliver messages near instantly.

So no, Obi-Wan has never wanted to see a letter sitting on his bunk. He finds the whole thing rather trying, actually, the Flimsi Friends program the Jedi Order established fifty standard years ago in an attempt to connect their Jedi with others across the branches through letters. Obi-Wan had scorned the idea as an Initiate living comfortably in the Temple on Coruscant, and his opinion hadn’t really changed once he began his tenure at the AgriCorps.

Kabre notices before anyone else. “Oh, hey! Obi-Wan’s got a letter.”

“Finally,” Aldran grins, craning his neck from where he’s collapsed on his bunk. “We only signed you up months ago.”

“Really, you shouldn’t have,” Obi-Wan says. “Really.”

“Oh, come now, little Obi,” Kabre pats him on the head. Obi-Wan is twenty-five and of a perfectly average height, but Kabre is close to three heads taller than him and of an indeterminable age. “Think of it as an opportunity to strengthen your connection to the living Force.”

“Through the Flimsi Friends program,” Obi-Wan deadpans, raising an eyebrow up at his peer.

“Getting letters from Susa is the highlight of my week,” Aldran tells the ceiling dreamily.

Obi-Wan shares a commiserating eyeroll with Kabre. “That’s because you’re in love with her.”

“Who wouldn’t be? She’s so sweet and kind and pretty and she has all these stories from her adventures in the ExploraCorps--”

“Alright, who got him talking about Susa?” Lathrum asks from the door, sighing in exasperation as he makes his way over to his own bunk. “It’ll be a standard day before he’s done.”

“Hey!” Aldran gasps, offended and already close to sulking. “Whatever. Fine. Everyone’s just jealous that Susa and I are in love because y’all are never going to find something nearly as good as we have.”

“Obi-Wan finally got a letter from the program,” Kabre announces to Lathrum. “We were just saying that he should at least try to be excited.”

“Yes, perhaps you’ll meet your own Susa,” Lathrum smirks, peeling off his dirt-covered tunic. His next words come out muffled. “Force help us if that happens.”

“No need to worry,” Obi-Wan says dryly, picking up the letter and studying it. “They appear to be a youngling.”

“A youngling wrote you?” Kabre asks, barely restrained glee in his deep baritone.

Aldran guffaws from his bunk. “Well now you have to write back!”

“Knowing your luck, it’s probably a youngling from the Jedi Temple,” Lathrum says. “Dear Obi-Wan, Today someone chose me to be their Padawan and I’m one step closer to being a Jedi Knight. How are your plants doing?”

“Yes, alright,” Obi-Wan shakes his head, smiling slightly. He had met Lathrum when he was fourteen and still bitterly disappointed about his new position at the AgriCorps, and Lathrum has never let him forget it even after all these years.

He sits down on his mattress and pulls out the letter. It’s short at least. The handwriting is atrocious but the spelling is worse.

Dear Obi-Wan,

Hi! My name is Anakin Skywalker. I am nine years old. How are you doing today? My master says I have to write this to practice my spelling. I think not everyone can learn Basic, but he says I have to and that all Jedi masters know how. I didn’t ever know there was all this stuff I have to do to be a Jedi. I’ve been here for weeks now and I still don’t have my lightsaber!

I think the temple is really weird. It’s so big and cold. I miss my friends back home. Me and Kitster would go crazy exploring this place but no one here wants to play with me. Master Jinn says not to worry and I’m not! The temple is just really big and I’m cold all the time and I miss my mom. Master Jinn found me on Tatooine and took me here to make me a Jedi which is great, but everyone here already knows each other and I don’t think they like me much. I know the Jedi Council doesn’t. They didn’t even want to train me but Master Jinn inzi--incis--said he would.

Do you want to be friends?

Would you explore the temple with me?

Write back soon please,

Anakin

“Well?” Kabre asks, when Obi-Wan finishes silently reading the letter.

Obi-Wan sighs and rubs a hand over the jagged penmanship. It’s all too obvious that this Anakin Skywalker is...painfully young, churlish and childish and achingly lonely.

Obi-Wan sighs again, harder, as he looks up at his bunkmates. “Where do we keep the blasted flimsi?”

---

Dear Anakin,

Thank you for your letter, it was very nice to read. My name is Obi-Wan Kenobi, and I’m 25 years old. I hope you are settling in at the Temple better by the time this letter finds you. I have to admit I was very surprised to hear that you are nine years old and have been allowed to train to be a Jedi. That’s unheard of. I’m sure you’ll be an excellent Jedi. There must have been a reason your master chose you. The Force wills it and it will be.

It is understandable to miss your mother and your old home. When I became a member of the AgriCorps, I spent the first few months missing the Jedi temple on Coruscant a lot. It was the only home I ever had. But we make others as we go. The Temple is big and I suppose very cold compared to a desert planet--I looked up Tatooine here and there wasn’t much information, but I could never live somewhere with two suns! I’d be burned to a crisp in a matter of hours.

The upside to the Temple being big is that there are a lot of hiding spots and footholds for climbing. Try the pillars in the entrance hall. They connect to each other. My friends and I would run around on top of them for hours, although I think that was mostly because we were too scared to get down. You should ask Knight Eerin about it, or Knight Vos. They’re usually in the Mess Hall if not the Halls of Healing.

I’m sure Master Jinn has you busy with meditation and classes, but I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best,

Obi-Wan Kenobi

---

Dear Obi-Wan,

I was really excited to get your letter! I didn’t know it would take so long but it’s been ages! So much stuff has happened. I finally finished my remedial classes and Master says we can focus more time of katas now! I can’t wait to learn how to fight! And Master Windu smiled at me the other day when he saw me in the hall because Master told him about my grades!

I asked Knight Eerin about you and she showed me some pictures she had on her datapad of you when you lived at the Temple. You look really pretty cool! I have blond hair and blue eyes if you were wondering. My mom always said she thought I was going to be really tall. What do you look like now? What do you do at the AgriCorps? Why did you leave the Temple? Knight Eerin says you need to give her a comm call soon. She didn’t sound very happy.

I made a friend! Knight Vos’ padawan was there when I talked to him about what you told me, and she came with me to go exploring! She’s so cool. She’s been helping me with my katas too.

Apparently I won’t get my lightsaber for years! That’s so long!

Anyway I have to go and do my reading now but please write back faster this time, Obi-Wan!

--Ani

----

Obi-Wan never reacts quite as happily and dramatically as Aldrin does when he sees a letter from Anakin on his bunk in the evenings, but over the years everyone learns not to disturb Obi-Wan on those nights.

The first letter Obi-Wan receives from Anakin after the boy turns eighteen includes his commlink frequency hastily crammed at the bottom of the page. If you want, Anakin has scribbled.

“Finally,” Obi-Wan jokes when the line connects and Anakin answers breathlessly. “No offense to you, dear one, and you have come quite a ways since you were a youngling, but your handwriting is still atrocious. I’d much rather talk to you like this than try to puzzle out what you’ve written.”

Anakin splutters and then stutters out in a voice slower and deeper than Obi-Wan had expected, “I didn’t know you had an accent, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan finds that he likes that voice saying his name in that way.

That’s the first sign of trouble.

----

Anakin sends a photo of his knighting ceremony. Obi-Wan wants to cry with pride. His friends tease him about it relentlessly. “You look like I did the day I married Susa,” Aldrin crows and takes a picture of Obi-Wan’s blushing, laughing face. Later, Obi-Wan reluctantly sends it to Anakin.

“I’m jealous of your friends,” Anakin confesses with an exhale of static. “They get to see you everyday.”

“Oh, Anakin,” Obi-Wan says, unable to say more. Unable to admit that he’s thought the same thing about Anakin’s master at the Temple. Unable to deny it though.

They move onto safer topics, ones that make Obi-Wan’s chest feel less tight.

----

“Jedi Knights are forbidden to have romantic attachments,” Kabre tells him apropos of nothing one late evening when they’re leaning against the railings of their cabin.

Obi-Wan doesn’t even try to pretend to not know what his friend is talking about. Anakin is twenty-three now. They call each other as often as possible, whenever they have enough free time. Thinking about Anakin, somewhere out in the galaxy, makes Obi-Wan feel dangerous things. Dangerous, insidious, illogical things.

“Yes,” he agrees.

“Everything you’ve ever told me about this boy makes me think he’s in love with you,” Kabre says. “And the way you tell it makes me think you’re in love with him too.”

“Kabre, I…”

“I’m not asking you to deny it to me, Obi-Wan. You don’t need to defend yourself. You know no one cares if you’ve gone and fallen in love with your flimsi friend. It happens. And Force knows there’s no way you could be more insufferable than Aldrin and Susa.”

“He’s a Jedi Knight, Kabre,” Obi-Wan looks away, off over the fields. “I know what that means.”

----

When Anakin is twenty-four, Obi-Wan walks into his room to see a letter on his pillow. He blinks in surprise. He hasn’t gotten a letter since they petered out in favor of comm calls with Anakin.

But he’d recognize that handwriting anywhere.

He sits down to read it.

Dear Obi-Wan,

I find myself growing weary of Knighthood. I love my Padawan, I love the missions, I love the fighting. But I love something else more. I have for almost as long as I can remember.

I’ve been looking through the old letters from you. I’ve kept them all. I know Jedi should not have material attachments, but I found that I could no more throw them away than give my lightsaber to a Sith. They make up our story.

You were the first friend I ever had at the Temple. I don’t quite think you realized that then, and you may not even realize it now. But you were. I would get a letter from you and feel warm for weeks afterwards.

Actually, everything I love about the Temple and the Jedi you gave to me. My friends now, indirectly. All the hiding spots. Moving meditation.

When I got my kyber crystal, I wanted to tell you before anyone else. When my Padawan braid was cut, I gave it to my master, but wished I had something I could give to you too.

That was the day I really admitted to myself that you already have all of me.

Obi-Wan, I’m in love with you. I love you more every time we talk. Disengaging the comms at the end of the night hurts like losing my hand all over again. I love you, I love you.

And I have been a coward about it for too many years. I was afraid that you would reject me, think me too rash and young and foolish. But I know what I want. You told me in one of your letters that you believed I lived off of a single-minded desire to achieve my goals and that I would let nothing stand in the way.

I do not plan on starting now, if you will have me that is. I dream of nothing more than to feel your hands on my face, to listen to the sound of your heart beating in your chest.

I will not disrespect the ways of the Jedi by loving you quietly, when I know you are my deepest, strongest attachment. One that I will not shake, even if I lived to be as old as Master Yoda himself.

If you find that you feel the same way, I will leave the Jedi Order tomorrow and meet you on Bandomeer. If you do not, then I understand and will never speak of this again. I am something of an expert after all these years of loving you silently from afar.

Yours sincerely, yours always, yours completely,

Anakin

Obi-Wan traces the words with a shaking hand. He doesn’t know he’s crying until a tear falls onto the flimsi. Oh, Anakin. Oh, his brave, foolish Anakin.

Will he really be so selfish as to allow Anakin to leave his Knighthood for him? His padawan, his home?

But the knowledge that Anakin loves him is a heady, addictive feeling. Obi-Wan has never truly gotten the things he wants. He loves his life now, of course. But he hadn’t wanted it.

And he loves Anakin.

He loves him terribly.

He reaches for a piece of flimsi and a pen.

----

Anakin will be the first to admit he’s been in a foul mood for a few standard weeks now. He’d sent that letter to Obi-Wan--Force, why had he sent that letter to Obi-Wan, obviously the man will never want to talk to him again now--and then immediately Ahsoka and him had been called in for a mission.

It had been awful and disgusting. Anakin is covered in mud from head to toe, and his padawan doesn’t look any better. And worst of all, he had had no time at all to comm Obi-Wan. No time at all to see how the man had taken his confession. It feels like he’s been holding his breath for days.

But he’s at the Temple now. He can clean himself off and call Obi-Wan incessantly until the man answers. Anakin can’t keep living like this.

“Letter for you, Master,” Ahsoka says as he enters their quarters. She’d been sent ahead while Anakin had finished docking the ship, and now she’s sitting at the table perfectly clean.

Anakin thinks his heart stops at these words and then it starts beating as fast as it ever has before. “Where?”

“I put it on your bed,” Ahsoka peers up at him with a furrowed brow. “Are you okay, Skyguy? You look a bit--”

But Anakin’s gone, already tearing into his room. There on the bedspread is a letter. Obi-Wan’s written him a letter.

Anakin has to try opening it three times before he finally gets his fingers to cooperate. It’s very short.

Dearest One, Obi-Wan has written.

I’ll meet you here tomorrow on Bandomeer. I will be waiting.

Forever yours,

Obi-Wan

Anakin smiles and feels like he could cry or sing or dance or scream from all the joy that’s welled up in his chest at this small handful of words Obi-Wan has given him. They’re everything and more.

Mindful of the mud on his person, he puts the letter gently on his bed and walks back out to the common area. Ahsoka is right where he left her.

“Okay, now you just look scary,” she says, pointing a fork at him. “Stop smiling like that.”

Anakin lets his grin die. He won’t relish this next part, but it’s for Obi-Wan. It’s so he can be with Obi-Wan. It's necessary. “Snips,” he says, sitting down opposite her. “We need to talk.”

#asks #prompt fill #i could literally write like 20k of this tbh #i had a few more letters planned but i knew i needed to hurry it up #anyway #sw #obikin #this is also as usual highly unedited all mistakes are artistic and actually great

[isozyme]

:salt: what do you think fandom generally gets wrong?

belatedly: more salty opinions

this one goes out to both the untamed and fandom in general, none of y’all are free from sin

every damn one of you vanilla ass virgins and diehard BDSM hall monitors needs to quit it with the handwringing “but where are the safewords” shit.

safewords aren’t the be-all end-all of kink safety! and nobody is handwringing this much about “but condoms” or “but where’s the shears while they’re doing rope bondage in case somebody panics” or “how long have those nipple clamps been on?” because for those things people seem to understand that it’s porn and “you have to be careful with abruptly pulling long hair because you might fuck up someone’s neck” isn’t fun and sexy to read about. smut is for fun! the author controls whether or not there’s accidents, so if i’m reading something that’s just a kinky pwp, i assume that no inconvenient practicalities are going to rear their head the way they always might irl. included in “inconvenient practicalities” is being prepared someone might need to safeword out. 

sometimes there’s a good reason to put in a safeword discussion: maybe badwrong sexy bit includes someone starting to have a bad time and the presence/absence of a safeword gives the sex scene tension. maybe one character is kinking on inexperience and enjoying leading their partner through the basics in detail. some story justification! something more than “oh right and i need to be a Responsible Porn Writer and include the safeword discussion”

fanfiction isn’t sex ed anymore than pornhub is! you can learn stuff from it, sure (there’s some creative stuff out there on the internet) but it’s not a how-to guide.

but all that isn’t even what i’m most steamed about!

the thing that makes me insane is the idea that you have to have a safeword for all kink activities. safewords are for consent play! there is absolutely no reason that saying “no” or yanking yourself away shouldn’t be sufficient outside of roleplay. otherwise, you know what is a good way to make your partner stop hitting you? saying “stop hitting me.” 

if you’re using a safeword as the big consent marker, then there’s only one way to say stop. if you’re not, there’s a thousand ways to say no. body language! tone of voice! a very wide range of vocabulary! there are also a thousand ways to say yes that aren’t “green,” and you can add “stops conveying yes/enjoyment” to the ways to say no. you don’t have to remember a special vocabulary word to be able to say “hey, bad spot, back off.” more importantly, the person hitting you has no excuse to not pay attention to that signal because it’s “well it’s not a safeword sooooo.....”

there’s just such a big difference between how somebody enjoying themselves acts and someone who isn’t! it’s almost always fucking obvious. people who try to convince you it’s all subtle and confusing are not good people. 

like: “ah, fuck, that hurts so bad, i can’t, i can’t -- oh my god, no, not again, please please please!”

versus: “whoa, uh-uh, that was too much. ow. i need a five minute break.”

one of those examples has the word “no” in it. it’s not the one that should bring things to an absolute screeching halt. the difference in tone is stark, and would be even starker with an actual voice behind it.

another example with consent play!

compare: “oh no, it’s so big, don’t put it in me! i won’t be able to take it! if you touch me there i’ll be ruined forever!”

to: “wait, i’m getting freaked out, let’s stop playing.”

most fic is writing about characters who know each other really well and should be able to read the body language of their partner. a lot of rules and safety precautions are most applicable when two people who don’t know each other super well are having sex and needing to have things you can point to and say “you agreed if i said red, you would stop, and when i said it you didn’t stop” with no room grey areas. if you have a bad actor in the room, they’ll take any chance they get to say they got mixed signals and how could they have known. two characters who love each other should be different! and in that vein: a lot of kink irl is done with dominant men and submissive women, so the dom is physically a LOT stronger than the sub. so many m/m ships are between characters with basically equal strength and there’s an element of fear that just isn’t present the same way.

a safeword is a big stressful thing to use -- there’s a lot of weight and seriousness put behind it. plus if it’s some cutesy thing you have to remember it under duress, that seems hard! there’s not enough nuance in a single word to easily make the difference clear between “i’m getting a leg cramp” and “if you touch me one more time i’m going to feel traumatized.” in some ways, this obsession with safewords makes me worry about the false safe of security given by following the rulebook. ticking off all the boxes on the consent to-do list isn’t a substitute for using your goddamn human social skills that you’ve been developing for 18 YEARS AT ABSOLUTE MINIMUM! 

personally, asking if someone is “green” is also deeply unsexy in my book, akin to my arbitrary hatred of the word “panties,” but that’s less serious, and you’re free to disagree. the rest you can fight me about if you want, but i’m right and you’ll lose

#doing my best to get cancelled on the internet today #kinky sex is still sex! #''no'' works great for flogging AND fucking! #Anonymous #belatedly ETA: real life is not fanfiction #my thoughts on safewords irl are different form my thoughts about them in fic! #although some of the same body language thoughts do apply

[2-cute-4-school]

𝚗𝚌𝚝 𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚊 𝚌𝚞𝚍𝚍𝚕𝚢, 𝚎𝚡𝚑𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚜/𝚘

a/n: hiiiii so i decided to make this a 2in1 reaction; basically i just put together 2 of my requests that were *in my opinion* closely related. hope y’all don’t mind and enjoy!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

requested by annonies: ‘Hey.. could you please do nct dream reaction to s/o having high fever and just wants cuddls? 🥺 like how would they take care of them.. make it fluffy please.’ & ‘nct dream reaction to their s/o being EXTREMELY tired and then like ummmmm cuddling and stuff maybe?? *uwuing in the distance*’

Mark Lee

okay but just imagine this (๑◕︵◕๑)

cuddle sessions when you’re both stretched thin and overworked

even though we all know he isn’t big on skinship i think he would throw all reticence out the window when it’s crystal clear that you both NEED each other ꒰๑˃͈꒳˂͈๑꒱ﾉ*ﾞ̥

so you just crawl under the bankets into his arms and you both just lay together in silence just enjoying each other’s presence

bonus points if he runs his hand through your hair and you trace shapes with the pads of your fingers on his skin (´,,•ω•,,)♡

it would probaby take a couple of lazy kisses and if you’re really really soft he might just hum some song lowly in your ear

just a lil heads up:

you ain’t getting out of his arms ‘til next morning so better hope you peed beforehand and have a bottle of water in reach (ಠ‿↼)

the only thing that would make him get up without a second thought?

if you’re feverish because of your exhaustion

his worry wouldn’t allow him to settle down until he’s 110% sure he made everything in his power to keep you comfortable 

“cold towels, water, painkillers just in case, is there anything i’m forgetting? babe, should i make you some tea-”

“mark, you know what would make me feel SO much better?”

“huh?” ｢(ﾟ<ﾟ)ﾞ??

“CUDDLES, BABE, CUDDLES!!” (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)

you don’t have to say that twice, your man is tucking you into his side in an instant flash ain’t got nothing on mark, he’s a man on a mission

he’ll try to stay awake long enough to make sure you’ve fallen asleep properly since he knows your fever won’t go away without proper rest

might hover over you the next morning too!! ( ≧Д≦)

Huang Renjun

this boy would FRET like CONSTANTLY

especially if you develop a fever 

he keeps piling up a lot of stuff in your room, anything he deems would be potentially helpful at some point is surrounding your bed

“jun, why tf is a cactus on my nightstand?” Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑)

“what if haechan walks through the door?”

“... understandable” ¯\_( ◉ 3 ◉ )_/¯

your room looks like a deposit at this point and you’ve tried to drag him to bed more times than you can count

but he’s restless ༼ ಥ ‿ ಥ ༽

until your frustration topples over and you’re on the verge of tears as you ask him for ✨cuddles ✨

he might actually feel bad for not joining you earlier so he’s gonna be EXTRA soft with you enjoy it while you can

he’s gonna pepper kisses all over you as he encases you in his lil arms and nuzzles his face into the crown of your head (っ˘з(˘⌣˘ )

he’s ready to offer free massages or head scratches!!!! LIMITED OFFER DON’T MISS OUT!!!

also he’s ready for literally anything

fever? medicine and wet towels nearby. thirst? 4 bottles of water AND gatorade. hunger? your favourite take out is waiting. any intruders? cactus is right by his hand. cuddles? CUDDLES!!!!! (۶* ‘ꆚ’)۶”

i think he’ll probably stay up even after you fell asleep, reading about how exhaustion affects one’s body and how to help i just think he’s a really wholesome person despite his all ‘don’t talk to him he angy’ character

but he’s still SO attentive to you!!

he’s down to anything that would make you feel better and if that means 20 hours of non stop cuddling so be it (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

Lee Jeno

i think he’d be REALLY clingy with you even in normal circumstances kind of like how he’s with mark ya know

so your affected well-being will just give him an extra reason to evolve to his ULTIMATE LEVEL OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION◝( ′ㅂ`)و ̑̑

he won’t let you lift A FINGER

my man is cuddling you even while standing up (灬 ♡ ω ♡ 灬)

he’s also going to insist on carrying you anywhere even if it’s just from the bed to the bathroom this boi is strong you have no excuse to shy away from him he won’t let you

you have no chance at escaping him btw his arms are made of iron when it comes to cuddles good luck prying them off you

and even though he’s clearly focusing on your requested cuddles, he’ll ask you from time to time if you need anything, how you’re feeling, if you’re comfortable

lowkey uses the excuse of checking your temperature to give you endless forehead kithes cuz he can (*＾∀ﾟ)ъ

he also becomes kind of hyperaware of every little move you make

you shiver? he’s cocooning you in yet another blanket. you’re becoming restless? he adjusts your cuddling position until you’re fully comfortable.

NOTHING gets past him ┌༼ σ ‸ σ ༽┐

idk why but i have a hunch that jeno sleeps like a rock

so if he happens to fall asleep too and you need to get up? pfft yeah sure better call for a crane to lift you up from the bed  ૮( ᵒ̌ૢꇴᵒ̌ૢ )ა｡

he’s also going to be EXTREMELY cranky if anyone dares interrupt your extended cuddle session this is strictly ‘only y/n and jeno time’

he might also entertain you with a few pictures of his cats if you’re feeling soft or ugly pictures of his members if you need a good laugh

would totally recommend leaving yourself in jeno’s care!! ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

Lee Haechan

he would LIVE for your cuddle sessions (●♡∀♡))

despite that, he WOULDN’T STAND you being uncomfortable for a single second if he can do something against that

i think he’s the type of person who wouldn’t leave even the smallest of papercuts untreated when it comes to his partner so exhaustion? fever? yeah no. frickin. way. ┐(;Ծ⌓Ծ;)┌

and after he’s absolutely sure he has everything you might need nearby and put a cold cloth on your forehead and made sure you were hydrated and well fed

he finally climbs into bed with you and just SMOTHERS the shite outta you i’m not even kidding ꒰๑*´ᗜ`*꒱*›◡‹꒱꒱

he’s full on *leech mode*, kisses and nuzzles and gentle caresses

and best part of the package? this man is a walking spotify premium!!

you get to choose whatever song you want and switch with no ads and he has no complaints since his payment is already made in cuddles

you thought this was the end of it?? SIKE

also an entertainment king!!  ୧༼✿ ͡◕ д ◕͡ ༽୨

we all know he probably has shit on all of the members and he’s not shy to do some harmless story telling to put you in a good mood

so just imagine and try coming up with anything better

sleepy you engulfed in the sunshine himself’s arms, tightly cradled against him with his soothing honey voice murmuring and humming to you and only you ˭̡̞(◞⁎˃ᆺ˂)◞*✰

his protective side might surface too btw

no one is allowed near you and if someone somehow managed to bother you? oh hell naw  🙃

now they’re on hyuck’s black list good luck mate

his babie gets the royalty treatment in those times guaranteed

Na Jaemin

he’s a doting boyfriend either way i think we can all agree on that

but you clinging to him and asking for cuddles? you not feeling well?

yeah not on his watch mother hen in action part the sea (ﾉ･ｪ･)ﾉ

i don’t think he’d panic tho, his only struggle would be postponing the cuddles you’re asking for while he prepares something to eat and a tea and fluffs up the pillows and blankets he’s gathered (oꆤ︵ꆤo)

but once he’s done?

yeah you’re bundled in a mountain of softness and most importantly? our cuddle bug jaemin (♡ >ω< ♡)

he’ll keep you propped up against his chest while he feeds you himself, proper care is something unskippable in his agenda

but after that any cuddling position is FREE REAL ESTATE!!

anything his baby wants, his baby gets ෆ╹ .̮ ╹ෆ

but for the sake of his mental stability he’d prefer to be in a position from where he can see you

boi is too worried to let you out of his sight so he’s aiming to be the big spoon or facing you directly 三 ( ◜◡‾)っ)⁰▿⁰)

he’ll help you fall asleep in any way he can

he’ll caress your back, your arms, he’ll softly massage your neck and shoulders, he has a playlist ready for sleepy moods

he is PREPARED ٩(๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

he checks your temperature every so often and he grumbles with a pout if it doesn’t seem to be going down

but if it comes down to it he won’t hesitate to ask someone to bring some medicine and if your exhaustion and/or fever doesn’t relent he’ll insist on getting checked by a doctor

it would break his heart to see you so weak and no ammount of cuddles could repair it until he sees you up and healthy again (◕⌓◕;)

but he’ll do all the pampering in the world so don’t worry

Zhong Chenle

i think he would hesitate at first but only because he’s kinda scared he’ll only make it worse and he WOULDN’T want that ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )

eventually i guess he’d step out to call his mum for help before he pulls some bull like ‘let’s do some math it’s gonna be fun’ and you lose your shit like no thanks fam i wanna live (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻

he’ll listen RELIGIOUSLY to his mum’s advice 

makes you some chamomile exactly how you like it, probably pulls together something small to eat but won’t force you

what he will force you to take is some medicine you ain’t dying on his watch (๑･`▱´･๑)

and most importantly... DAEGAL CUDDLES!!!! imagine getting to cuddle every nctzen’s bias

he might get *a little* jelly tho if you pay too much attention to her tho

so he makes up some dumb excuse about dog hair aggravating your fever or some dubious other reason why you have to let go of his puppy and cuddle HIM!! ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́)

he’ll do that cute thing where he leans his forehead against yours to check your temperature he has to be extra until the end

and before you go to sleep he’ll  try to prod at you to tell him what caused you to be so exhausted that you developed a fever might nag at you too about how unheathy it is to let it get to that point

he just wants to help okay? baby is worried in his own way ( •́ ∧ •̀ )

if there’s ANYTHING he can do to help consider it done by the time you wake up he’ll ALWAYS go an extra mile for you

and chenle wants to make sure you are aware of that and can lean on him so it never gets to this point again

but for the time being... it’s cuddles and relaxation time!! ✧(๑✪д✪)۶

better believe he’s already preparing a spa day for both of you to enjoy like the  ✨spicy ✨ bitches you are

Park Jisung

his heartbeat accelerates

and unfortunately it’s not because he’s flustered shame (#ﾟﾛﾟ#)

his only thought when he sees you with bag under your eyes and a cold wet cloth on your forehead is ‘shit, they’re dying wait no censor the first part i can’t get my mouth washed with soap but... poop, they’re dying’

ONE step away from calling for an ambulance or morgue in his mind

he SWEARS he’ll let you teach him how to ride a bycicle as long as you get out of this safe and sound (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)

he’s a bit of a mess, but he’s your cute mess

it would take *quite* a bit of reassurance that you’re going to be fine after a good night’s sleep and some jisung time for him to somewhat relax

his cheeks will flush once he curls himself around your form no matter how many times you’ve cuddled before

but once you sigh blissfully once he wraps his arms around you, it’s game over for him ε=(｡♡ˇд ˇ♡｡）

he MELTS against you

he’ll caress your head and gently scratch your scalp, lays kisses on your cheeks/forehead/crown of your head

but he will also fret every time you toss and turn or you make any sound that seems ‘distressed’ to him

we all know he can sleep anywhere under a frickin carpet so he won’t have any problems adjusting to whatever works for you since all that matters to him atm is that you’re comfortable (♡ >ω< ♡)

he just wants you to get better faster

he’ll talk to you in a hushed voice, encouraging and praising you and assuring you that once you’re all better he’ll help you with whatever you need and EVERYTHING will be well in the end ٩(ó｡ò۶ ♡)

he’s a senstitive person so he just wants to be there for you in any shape and form he can be

#nct scenarios #nct angst #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct #nct dream #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct dream imagines #nct reactions #nct dream reactions #nct requests #nct fic #nct dream fic #nct mark #nct jisung #nct haechan #nct renjun #nct chenle #nct jeno #nct jaemin

[twc-thoughts-you-didnt-ask-for]

Omg you’re back. Not me crying tears of joy 🤧.

Can you PLEASE do the ROs ushering a pregnant MC around to meetings in the warehouse, navigating the reactions of other members of UB as well as other supernaturals.

Bonus: ROs ushering around a baby version of themselves, navigating the reactions of the MC,UB, and other supernaturals.

Omg y’all are so nice about me reappearing from the abyss 🥺🥺🥺

I will warn you that I don’t think other UB members would have any special reactions worth noting. Some things would get a joke made at the parent and others would just be overwhelming happiness at their friends’ growing family and now a growing UB. I also couldn’t do the bonus because we know so little about UB as kids.

For A I imagine them behaving the way a caretaker would. Arms linked or around the waist (or as around the waist as they can get) or warnings of “Watch your step here” just on the off chance that the detective my slip or trip. A would probably worry about that a lot less if they didn’t sit there and daydream nightmares of something happening to the detective and their child during their free time, but A can’t help but worry. I don’t think A would register any reactions of the other agents or supernaturals, to be honest. I think they would be so wrapped up in clocking every single potential risk to the detective and the baby that they wouldn’t spare a glance at anyone else. As for the agents reactions… I think out of all of UB they would be most charmed by parent-to-be A. It would really just look like a very in love couple with A being a very doting significant other. Also it would be hard for them to maintain the image of a big, authoritarian, tough A when the see an emotional/hormonal detective and A’s hands caressing their cheeks and wiping away tears as they came and comforting them that the day is almost over and then A will take care of the detective’s aching feet and any cravings. Almost jarring, even.

I think N would helicopter more than they already do. Like way more. Like if there’s stairs to get where they need to go, I feel like N would be like “Well, I just don’t understand why they couldn’t just make this a ramp instead” as an example of how extra they would be. I can’t see N isolating the detective (like not letting random people within “x” amount of feet of the detective) but I can see them pulling A LOT of strings when they have something to do or go anywhere especially on days that the detective feels achy or icky. Morning sickness? No worries, N is about the pull the most charming, persuasive smile out of their ass to get the meeting postponed or convince them that detective is not needed and N can happily pass the info along. N would also probably be really hesitant about leaving for missions or anything that took them out of hearing range of the detective. A would swoop in and be the voice of reason, thank god. N could pacified too if they went away and the detective texted them baby updates about kicks and stuff. As for fellow agents and supernaturals reactions… I think there would be some envy of actually seeing two people so happy, content, and in love and I think it would be maybe even inspiring to them to see N, a supernatural who has lived a very long time, have the look and air about them as someone who got literally everything they wanted in this eternal life. It’s hard to have an even higher opinion of someone everyone considers “perfect”

I feel like M’s behavior would have very little change. Any drastic changes would have been early on because, as we know from Sera’s blog, M didn’t necessarily plan on kids or want them. If the detective is far enough along where the weight of the pregnancy is getting to them and they waddle around and ache, I think M would have them stop often and take a seat where chairs are available and massage aches and pains as they come throughout the day. Doesn’t matter what they were going to. I can just imagine M getting a call about why they’re late to a meeting and M just being like “We’ll get there when we get there” and hanging up lol. We don’t know how good M will get at being comforting, all we know as of know if that they’re trying, so if the detective starts getting emotional, I can see M sliding their hand in the detective’s and giving a light squeeze, M pulling the detective in as much as they can (depending on belly size) for a smooch on the top of the head and just holding them, or finding a spot to sit and pulling the detective into their lap and holding them that way. All of this would be accompanied with a “What’s eating at you today?” And a prompt “what can I do to help?” Or “what can I do to make it better?”. At this point I really don’t think other agency members or supernaturals would have much to say. The shock of M no longer just lusting and actually being in very real, once-in-a-lifetime love would have long passed. Maybe the only reaction anyone at this point has is “I’m happy for M”

F’s happiness and excitement cannot be contained for anything. Nobody even can be annoyed (except for maybe the detective sometimes) because it feels impossible to rain on F’s parade. Or even threaten a drizzle. F and a pregnant detective walking around together would have to stop and talk to anybody who so much as looked at them. F would also very much be the “We” person when it comes to expecting parents that aren’t the ones carrying the baby. “WE’RE pregnant”, “WE’RE eating for three now”, etc. F would just be an excitable force to be reckoned with. I also like to imagine F frequently interrupting meetings because the baby kicked. F will be in a near constant state of having their hand on the detective’s belly, either on its own or resting over the detective’s, and the second they feel a kick (regardless of who is speaking in the meeting or what it’s about) F will laugh and lean down to the detective’s belly and saying something along the lines of “hey, don’t kick the one who feeds you”. Similarly to M, I don’t think anyone would have many opinions. This is F as they know them, just a little more amplified.

#the wayhaven chronicles #wayhaven chronicles #adam du mortain #ava du mortain #nate sewell #nat sewell #felix hauville #farah hauville #twc Mason #twc Morgan #twc detective #twc #twc adam #twc ava #twc nate #twc nat #twc felix #twc farah #ub w/ kids

[15-dogs]

resident healer |n.s.|

pairing: newt scamander x healer!artist!reader

summary: newt’s brother theseus hires you as his resident healer without newt’s knowledge. however, newt has little use for you so you put your other skills to the test as you spend each day falling a little harder for the man who won’t even speak to you. (super super fluffy! mutual pining, enemies(ish/mild dislike LMAO) to lovers, miscommunication, flustered newt!!)

warnings: extremely minimal swearing, injury, mention of blood

guide: (Y/N) = your name, (Y/L/N) = your last name

word count: 3.6K

a/n: it’s official y’all i’m in love with newt asjdhsj sorry sorry

Newt gasped in pain, jerking his hand away from the Occamy that bit harshly at his finger. He squatted down to meet its eyes, frowning as he scolded, “Don’t be rude.” 

The Occamy simply squawked back. Newt tutted, snatching a snack for the small thing beside its nest and tossing them up in the air. The Occamies in the nest all hopped up, hurrying to retrieve the treats before the others did. Newt shook his head with a chuckle as he moved away from the creatures and onto the next.

“Mr. Scamander,” Bunty called from the top of the stairs which led to his apartment, “Miss (Y/L/N) is here.”

Newt dried his hands off on his pants, brows furrowed in confusion. He’d never heard that name before and he knew he wasn’t expecting a guest, so who was at his door? Newt shrugged his vest back on as he made his way up the stairs, his eyes trained on the buttons he was doing up. He was so focused on the task at hand that he forgot he was in the landing of his apartment, his leg lifted in preparation to take another step which led him to tumble into the wall ahead.

“Mr. Scamander!” Bunty gasped. She ran to his side instantly, checking to see if he was injured. She held his face in her hands, staring into his eyes as he tried to pull away. “You really hit your head, didn’t you?”

Newt blinked in shock, finally wiggling free of her grasp and walking backwards into his den. “No, I’m fine, Bunty, thank you.”

In his efforts to move away from her, Newt bumped into another figure, nearly tipping him over. He steadied himself before turning around, his cheeks flushed from embarrassment.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Mr. Scamander,” you said, warmly. You extended your hand for him to shake, which he did so hesitantly.

“Right, yes.” His eyes scoured the room as he gathered his words. “And you are?”

You looked over him with an involuntary cock of your head, your brows knit together. “You don’t know who I am?”

“Not really, no.”

You laughed humorlessly. “And I suppose you don’t know why I’m here, either.”

Newt cleared his throat and stood a little taller, still fiddling with his wand. “I’m sorry, should I?”

You knew he wasn’t trying to be rude, but you couldn’t help but be a little offended at his words. You were there for him. It was quite literally your job. You gave him a slight frown before straightening out your clothing to keep yourself busy.

“I am (Y/N) (Y/L/N). I’m your new resident Healer.”

Newt began to smile as if you had said something quite funny. He looked up at Bunty, nodding his head towards the door to his basement. She scrambled down as he continued to converse with you.

“My resident Healer?” he repeated.

You nodded. “Yes, I was hired.”

Those words were like a bucket of ice on Newt’s content mood. His smile had dropped from his face and he stopped fiddling with his wand. His eyes slowly drifted up to yours, asking the silent question of who? Who would’ve hired such a thing for him? 

You could tell from the irritation swimming in his eyes that he knew exactly who had hired you. From the second you saw Newt, you knew he wasn’t a scary person, but now you weren’t so sure.

“Theseus, your brother, did.”

Newt swallowed hard, tapping his foot against the hardwood floor as he thought. It seemed like forever that you sat in tense silence, hoping you hadn’t done something wrong by telling him. Finally, Newt shook his head, his hair flopping back and forth as he paced around the room, ending at the door and opening it.

“I don’t need a Healer. I’ve been fine on my own thus far.”

You took a step towards him, his eyes still focused on the cold street outside. “Mr. Scamander, I don’t think you understand. I’m a private Healer. I work for no affiliation. I have been hired here and I intend to keep this job.”

“My apologies, Miss (Y/L/N), but I feel your talents would be of better use elsewhere.”

Newt rested a hand on your upper back, pushing you closer towards the door until you were halfway out of it. He refused to meet your eyes as you protested, simply shutting the door in your face. His hand hovered over the doorknob for one minute more as he heard your sighs of exasperation from the other side, a sick feeling settling into his stomach. 

When silence finally dawned on the apartment, Newt began to walk away only to hear the distinct sound of ripped paper from outside. He paused and turned just in time to see a note slipped under the door, the sound of your shoes clicking down the stone steps as background noise. Newt squatted to pick up the note, scoffing at your indignant message.

I’ll be here tomorrow at 8 AM, Mr. Scamander.

Best,

(Y/N)

•••

You sat on Newt’s perfectly done up couch, picking at the quilt that sat beside you on the arm of it. Your leg was bouncing and your eyes scoured the room, begging it to give you something to do other than just wait around.

Newt popped out of his bedroom, running a hand through his hair as he ran up and down between his basement and the main floor. You would glance at him out of the corner of your eye every time he did so, wishing he would give you anything to do.

After the fifth time he arrived upstairs, he paused to look at you. You sat at attention, awaiting his useful instructions.

With a limp point towards the room across from him, he stated, “There’s food in the pantry. Help yourself.”

Your hands gripped onto the quilt, balling it up in your fists to contain your anger. You sent a vicious smile Newt’s way and he sent a wary one back before running downstairs.

You had considered yourself to be a person of immense patience, but Merlin was that man testing you. Every day after that you sat on his couch, examining the apartment, hoping that he would come up from his workshop and beg you to help him. 

At some point in your weeks of sitting, you stopped dressing the part of Healer. You stopped caring. He clearly didn’t need you but you clearly couldn’t leave, so you took the necessary steps to make that hellish limbo a bit more comfortable. You brought novels and notebooks, blankets and pillows, all so you could sit on Newt Scamander’s couch and pretend you were his star Healer.

Feeling entirely useless one day, you decided to pull out your notebook and sketch a few items around the apartment. If you couldn’t practice one talent, why not practice the other? You ended up drawing a plethora of strange items from where you sat; all of which you assumed to be objects used in his care for his creatures.

You were snapped out of your thoughts as the soft clang of a dinner plate was placed in front of you. You looked up and spotted Newt across the room at his kitchen table as he took a bite of his dinner with one hand and tucked his wand away with the other. You searched the room for a moment, wondering if that was some kind of trap— Newt had never eaten with you before, let alone make you dinner. You picked up the dish with severe caution, carefully taking a bite and smiling softly at how wonderful it tasted.

Your silent dinners became a regular occurrence. You didn’t bother talking to him and he didn’t bother talking to you. You would finish your meal and then pick up whatever you were doing prior until 8:00 when you left.

As you sat on his couch, curled up under a blanket with your sketchbook, you looked over the room to see if there was anything different to draw when your eyes landed on Newt, himself. He was reading a book, splaying the pages open as he chewed on the thumb of his opposite hand. Something about the way he sat was so poetic, and the next thing you knew you were drawing his portrait.

You began to draw his portrait every dinner, a sudden infatuation with the way he looked blossoming within you. After dinner one day, Newt came up to you to collect your plate rather than just charming it to fly to the sink.

“Do you draw?” he asked.

You, so alarmed by his presence, shouted, “No!” and slammed your sketchbook shut, praying to Merlin that he didn’t see his pictures.

“I just thought you were because…” Newt trailed off as he referenced the ink stains on your hands and shapes of objects that must’ve rubbed off on you. 

You flushed, finally nodding with a quiet, “Yes, I draw. Not very well, but I quite like it.”

He sunk into the spot next to you, his leg bouncing up and down as he spoke. “I’m sure that you’re a wonderful artist. If you’d ever care to show me some time, I’m sure my opinion will be justified.”

Your cheeks turned pink and you ducked your head to avoid his stare. “Yes, maybe at some point.”

Newt let out a gratified sigh before stalking over to the kitchen, butterflies occupying your stomach. You knew then that you didn’t like drawing him because he was fun to draw. No, you realized that you were quite infatuated with the man who barely spoke a word to you but you had the feeling that you were going to change that.

•••

“Mr. Scamander-”

“Please,” he began, looking at you over his shoulder, “it’s Newt.”

“Right, yes, Newt.” You stood up from his couch with his book in hand, trailing after him as he paced around his apartment. “I’ve been reading your book. It’s quite fascinating, I have to say.”

His steps slowed to a stop and his eyes lit up. “You like it?”

You only looked up from his book when you rammed straight into him. You teetered backwards but his strong arms caught you, holding you flush against his chest. “I-I do.” You wiggled out of his grasp, fearing the increase in your heart rate. “I just, er, find it fascinating that you keep all those creatures in your basement, not more than a few meters below us.”

He shrugged, continuing his pacing until he stopped by the basement door. “Not all of them, but a great deal.” Newt averted his eyes towards the ground, a shy smile spreading across his lips. “I could show you if you like? You could take your sketchbook down and draw some up for me.”

“Are you sure that’s okay?”

“Bunty has the day off and I could use your company-” Newt cut himself off, his eyes wide and blush creeping up his cheeks. “The company, is what I meant. Just some company, is all. Well, that’s not to say I don’t like your company— I’m partial to it, actually— but-”

You chuckled, snatching your sketchbook from your bag on the couch. You passed by the man, stopping to look him once over. “I enjoy your company, too, Newt.”

You spent the rest of the day in the basement with Newt as he explained each creature to you  with the glee of a child. You smiled, wondering if he’d ever smile at you the way he smiled at his beasts, but quickly dismissed the thought.

You ended up drawing some of his creatures, particularly focused on the Murtlap that scurried around its cage. After you had finished a rough sketch of the creature, you had turned to show Newt when you were stopped in your tracks by the sight before you; Newt had a Bowtruckle perched on his finger, speaking to it like a friend, his shirt unbuttoned just enough to reveal a plethora of scars on his collarbone. Your mouth went dry and you knew then and there that you had to draw him.

You focused on every crinkle of his smile, the sharpness of his jaw, the pure adoration behind his eyes. Newt was encapsulating. Everything about him drove you wild. It was almost embarrassing how he made you feel so mad but you couldn’t help it— you were at the point past no return.

As the day came to a close, Newt cleaned up around his basement as his eyes flickered in between you and the broom he held. You had propped his book up on your leg so that you could draw in some more specific details about the creatures you had sketched, wanting it to look perfect if Newt was going to see. He let out a soft exhale in amusement at your contorted position, alerting you to his presence.

“May I see?” His eyes drifted towards your notebook, just grazing over your body.

You nodded and moved over for him to sit next to you. Fortunately, you had been practicing some charms and learned how to hide some of your drawings— specifically the ones of Newt.

To your surprise (and delight), Newt slid up next to you, your shoulders brushing against one another. You let out a shaky breath and met his eyes with a weak smile as you shoved the sketchbook into his arms. His eyes fell downwards towards the drawings, a pit forming in your stomach as he scanned over them.

 Every time he would flip the page, he would mutter a compliment to you. It was always something specific, something targeted, as if to make you aware that he was truly fascinated by your drawings.

“You captured Molly’s tuft of white fur perfectly,” he murmured, running a rough finger across the drawing of the Niffler you did. He flipped to the next page, chuckling to himself. “And the Glow Bugs are just...lovely. That’s Poppy right there, I can tell.”

You beamed at him, unable to control how he made you feel. Newt carefully set the journal down behind him as he scanned your face.

“You’re quite...you have this...well, you…” he stammered as he fiddled with his fingers.

“What is it?” you prodded, your voice no more than a whisper.

“You’re...beautiful.”

You sucked in a sharp breath as your eyes involuntarily flickered down towards his lips. Your hand crept its way over his, tracing the scars on the back of it with your thumb as you leaned in closer towards him.

“Mr. Scamander!” a familiar voice called from the top of the stairs, causing the two of you to jump apart. You both looked up to find Bunty padding down the stairs, a wide smile on her face. “Mr. Scamander! I know you said I had the day off but I wasn’t doing much today and thought I could be of some use here!”

Newt glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. “It’s not a problem, Bunty, you can head home.”

“But I’m really not doing anything!”

“Well, I suppose you could help me do final bed checks and whatnot.”

Bunty nodded, scurrying around to do her tasks with an eager grin. Newt flashed you a shy smile as he stood up, his fingers still tangled in yours before he pulled away.

•••

Newt appeared out of his bedroom in the same fashion he did every morning: hurried. However, that time, he shrugged on a coat and walked towards the door of his apartment.

“Going somewhere?” you questioned.

“Yes, I’m off to the Ministry for the day. Bunty’s here if you need anything.”

And with that, Newt left.

Things had been strange since you had almost kissed no more than three days ago. Newt kept all your interactions strictly professional, meaning you were back to barely speaking again. It was frustrating, to say the least, and it made you question whether Newt really didn’t feel the same towards you, that you were coming on to him.

You had been stuck in that void of thinking for days. You would find yourself flipping through your sketchbook and landing on one of the many sketches you did of Newt, frowning as your mind began to spin expert lies to break your heart.

“(Y/N)!”

You could practically hear him calling your name.

“(Y/N)! Please!”

That was real. And it wasn’t Newt, either. It was Bunty.

You hopped off the couch, swapping your sketchbook for your Healer’s bag. You knew the voice of an injured person when you heard it and you weren’t about to take any chances that your instincts were wrong.

You made your way downstairs, finding Bunty by the Occamy nest holding her forearm, some blood seeping through her fingers. You ran up to her, wand drawn as you enchanted the necessary items to fly from your bag.

“Keep your breathing steady and your eyes on me, Bunty,” you said firmly. Bunty nodded, looking down at you with tears crowding her eyes. “Did the Occamy get you?”

“Y-yes. He got out of his nest and into another cage and grew quite a bit larger. I tried to take him back but he bit me.”

“Merlin, Bunty, that’s awful. But I can assure you that you’ll be perfectly fine. You don’t have any serious injuries that I can see.”

You poured a few droplets of an amber liquid from your bag, the skin stretching across her arm to heal the wound. She squealed in pain and you slipped your hand into hers, allowing her to squeeze it to deal with the pain.

“It’s almost over, I promise. We’ll get you to St. Mungo’s after just in case, too. You’re doing fantastic, Bunty. This potion, well, excuse my language but it hurts like a bitch.”

Bunty let out a strangled laugh, a tear slipping from the corner of her eye. You patted her hand, flashing your signature Healer smile at her as you got to your feet. Your bag magically packed itself as you helped Bunty up beside you, wrapping an arm around her and apparating off to the hospital.

You had settled things with the Assistant Healer at St. Mungo’s and Bunty assured you that she didn’t need you there with her for her tests no matter how many times you protested. She simply thanked you, explained that she felt fine already, and squeezed your hand before shooing you off to apparate back to Newt’s apartment.

You arrived back in the basement, snatching your medical bag and making your way upstairs. Your footsteps slowed as you heard quiet murmurs of appraisal coming from the den, the flipping of used parchment scraping against itself.

Your sketchbook.

You darted out into the den, finding Newt back early from his trip to the Ministry with your sketchbook in hand, marveling at the pictures you drew of him. Your heart thundered inside your chest and you went light headed at the sight, your face overheating instantly.

“Did you draw these?” he asked. In an impossible sense, Newt’s tone was entirely neutral as was his expression. Nothing. You couldn’t read anything off of him.

“Give that back.” You dropped your bag and swung your wand out in an attempt to retrieve the book, only to have Newt throw a countercurse at you. You sucked in a sharp breath before trying again only for the same result to be repeated.

“You drew these,” he stated. He met your anxious eyes with furrowed brows, which only worsened the black hole growing inside you.

“There’s no point in denying it, Newt.” You wrapped your arms around yourself, rubbing your hands up and down as your own personal security blanket.

“I think that your drawings are lovely.” Your eyes snapped up to his and he cowered at his statement. “Not because it’s me, that’s not why they’re lovely. It’s because it’s you— obviously not you, it’s me— but you drew them and I’d love for you-”

Feeling rather emboldened by his rambling, you cut Newt off with a defiant statement.

“I like you.”

Newt was silent.

You continued.

“A lot, actually.” You ran a hand through your hair with a wry laugh. “A stupid amount, really. I can’t get you out of my head in a maddening sort of way. And I know that you’re saying you like the drawings but I understand if you’re lying. I think I’d be rather perturbed if I found a journal full of my face, too.”

“Don’t say that,” he muttered with a dismal shake of his head.

“It’s true! It’s odd!”

“No, please don’t say that. It’s not.” With every declaration, Newt’s voice got a little louder

“Why-”

“Because I fancy you!” he shouted, leaving you in a stunned silence. “Sorry.”

You blinked in confusion. Newt fancied you. Newt fancied you. You repeated it over and over again in your head, trying to make sense of his foreign words. You met his worried gaze and whispered to confirm your suspicions, “You fancy me?”

“I-I do.” He laughed to himself, scuffing his foot against the floor. “You’re beautiful and...and witty, and intelligent, and you have this intense gaze like a crow, and it’s just all beautiful. You’re beautiful.” His words tumbled from his mouth like he didn’t have enough time in the world to tell you how he truly felt.

If Newt was going to act like there was no time left, then you were, too. Your wand fell from your loosened grasp as you ran up to him, falling into a deep kiss. His hands hovered in the air for a moment before he embraced you, holding you as tight to his body as he could so his lips could still be connected to yours.

You pulled away, gasping for air as he rested his forehead against yours. He reached a calloused thumb up to rub over your bottom lip before venturing up to your cheekbone.

Seems as if he did need a Healer after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

general taglist:  @pandaxnienke @lunalovecroft @for-bebbanburg

#newt scamander #newt scamander x you #newt scamander x y/n #newt scamander x reader #newt scamander fanfiction #bunty #theseus scamander #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts: the crimes of grindelwald #newton artemis fido scamander #newt scamander oneshot #newt scamander imagine #newt scamander fluff #healer!reader #artist!reader #self insert #fbawtft #fb:tcog

[adorethedistance]

Baby Fever - Owen Joyner x Reader

JATP masterlist

Warnings: swearing, discussion of reproduction, a child (no-)

Words: 2502

Summary: You and Owen spend a day at the zoo babysitting Baby Shada, and her presence sparks conversation about adding a new presence of your very own.

A/n: This was written in like three hours and I’m exhausted it’s skimmed at best but this is just something I’ve had in my mind and as y’all know by now, writing fics is how I retire my dreamland scenarios of romance. Enjoy my brain giving 82% of her all :)

“You ready, little one?” I bite back a laugh when I hear Owen’s voice coo from the back seat. Owen and I had been wanting to plan a zoo date for the longest time, but never had the opportunity to until now; when Jer and Carolynn needed a well-deserved day of rest, and Charlie was back in Dieppe for the next month, that left Owen and me as the next in line to take care of 10-month-old baby Shada. The two parents hadn’t decided on a name until after she was born, so the rest of our friends got comfortable with referring to her as ‘baby Shada’ or ‘CJ’ short for ‘Care and Jer’s’ kid.

Owen and I left the house at 8:45 sharp to get to the park in a timely manner. We weren’t too concerned with arriving when the park opened seeing as it was a Wednesday morning in the middle of February. Children should be in school, non-actors should be in the office, and surely other young babies and new moms should be attending mommy and me yoga classes or something.

“Do you have the bag?” I ask, surveying the car for any loose items.

“Yeah, it’s on the floor. Do you want me to carry the bag or the baby first?”

“You babysit first. I can handle tickets.” Owen nods and gingerly unbuckles the car seat to scoop up the currently calm child and slip her into the black baby carrier we opted for instead of a stroller. I put on the backpack with all her baby items and some of our essential possessions, and together we walk to enter the park. CJ is smiling brightly as she takes in all the different sights and sounds of the entrance. The image is just too adorable, I have to make Owen stop under the giant sign to take a picture of the two of them. I send it to both parents as the first update of the day, knowing they won’t treasure the photo as much as I will, because they aren’t in love with Owen in the way that I am.

Owen and I have talked about kids before. Once, on our first date when he asked me if I had any names picked out, which I didn’t. And second, when I informed him we would be entrusted with the care of CJ the following week; it was when we began brainstorming activities to do with her that Owen brought up having our own kids. It took me by surprise that he used the word ‘when’ instead of ‘if’. A small language thing to pick up on, but a huge life thing to process. He talked about making memories with CJ and being the first ones to take her to the zoo, with the consent of her parents. Truth be told, I don’t love kids or the idea of kids in the way that Owen does, so I was a little hesitant to speak my mind. But I didn’t miss the way he held his hand on my stomach as we fell asleep that night. And I didn’t miss the hopeful glint in his eyes when I’d asked his opinion on a few names I liked the next morning.

“What do you wanna do first, CJ?” Owen’s question elicits an excited squeal from her as a response which makes the two of us laugh. I quickly snag a map from the front stand and survey our route options before I feel Owen’s right hand come to rest on my lower back. I glance up to see him peering at the map over my shoulder. My movement prompts him to face me and give me a soft, comforting smile. I feel like spending forever looking into Owen’s breathtaking eyes, but the baby strapped to his chest has other plans. She begins flailing wildly to convey all the excitement coursing through her little body. We laugh once more and Owen presses a quick kiss to her head, which messes up her hat’s placement on her head. I shake my head, stepping in front of my fiance, completely ignoring him. My tunnel vision hyperfocus is set on adjusting the brim of the bucket hat to protect baby Shada from the sun.

“There we go.” When I look back up Owen is staring at me with the softest closed mouth smile I’ve ever seen, “What?”

“Nothing. Where to, Mamacita?”

“Mamacita? Whatever. I say we take this path that way we can start with the elephants and condors, and that’ll take us to the polar bear cove.”

“Lead the way.”

Owen slips his hand in mine, interlacing our fingers and giving me an affirming squeeze. As we’re walking to the elephant exhibit, CJ’s happy mood means she must wave her tiny hand at every person we pass. Other parents with babies her same age, being the majority of the crowd that’s free on a Wednesday morning, smile and wave back to her. Along the front street, the initial entrance crowd begins to dwindle and there are fewer people for her to wave at. Then, a woman who’s probably in her late forties, early fifties sees CJ wave to her. The woman is wearing black pants, a soft maroon top, and a name tag that reads ‘Linda’. Judging by the fact that she gets to wear red instead of the familiar forest green, I can conclude she’s a higher up when it comes to her position here at the zoo.

“You guys are such a beautiful family.”

“Oh, we’re n-”

“Thank you!” Owen speaks over my refutation. The woman then begins to approach us, and I look up at my serious boyfriend in confusion. He whispers, “Let’s pretend. It’ll be fun.” I mean, I’m not much of an actor but I guess there’s a first time for everything.

“How old is she?”

“10 months,” he answers seamlessly, using the back of his index finger to lovingly stroke CJ’s round cheek.

“She is just so darling, I’m sure you two must be very proud. They grow so fast, you know? I remember having little ones running around all the time and suddenly they’re off to college. Is she your first child?”

“Yeah, she’s the only one for now.” For now? Wow Owen, when you create a world you really live in it.

“Well, enjoy it while it lasts. They’re only babies for so long.” Linda smiles down and CJ once more before bidding me and Owen goodbye.

“For now?” I ask, incredulously when the woman is out of earshot.

“Yeah,” he shrugs playfully, “CJ’s so well behaved I’m sure we can manage another one.”

“Uh-huh. Are you aware she’s not actually our child?” Owen sighs out a smile and takes my hand as he begins on our trek to the elephant enclosure. When he speaks again, I nearly miss it from how quiet he’s talking,

“S’wishful thinking.”

“What did you just say?” I’m curious to see if he’ll repeat it to my face.

“I said it’s wishful thinking.”

“To have a second child to our nonexistent first child?”

“No,” he nudges my shoulder with his own as we walk, “To have a child period.”

“Nice try. Your baby fever isn’t gonna rub off on me so easily.” He scoffs out a laugh,

“It’s still early. We’ve got the whole day to fix that.” Seamlessly pulling Owen to a stop, I don’t pause our conversation as I step in front of him. My gaze doesn’t meet his eyes as I straighten CJ’s hat once more.

“Well, bear in mind we’re basically on the clock here, and CJ is a tiny person before she’s a persuasion tactic.” I lunge one foot back to make sure the hat is even, and that the baby can still see from under it. When I deem her hat positioning satisfactory, CJ smiles up at me at the same time that paints Owen’s flushed face. He holds his hand straight out in front of his body for me to take, and when I do, he pulls me in to clasp both hands together and rest them on my lower back. Minimal visitors in the zoo is definitely a perk as Owen’s far more physically affectionate without others around. I rest my hands on the portion of his chest that isn’t occupied by CJ’s happy demeanor.

“I don’t know if I’m cut out to be the mothering type. I’m just not… good with kids.”

“I understand your reluctance… but I’m gonna get you on board by the end of the day.”

“Yeah okay, Joyner. Whatever you say.”

Owen smiles down at me with a love as infinite as the number of stars in the universe. CJ squeals between us and I babble back at her in a higher pitch than my usual speaking voice. She squawks again and we go back and forth like this for a little while until she sticks her tongue out at me in between a smile. My jaw drops in a surprised, amused, and simultaneously offended manner, and I take her chubby little baby foot in my hand and squeeze gently, causing her to screech through fits of giggling.

“When did you learn how to do that? Owen, did you-” The words die on my tongue when I see the expression on Owen’s face. He’s wholly enamored and yet so smug at the same time. I feel my face heat up a little bit; I don’t even have to ask what he’s thinking.

“‘I’m just not good with kids’ my ass.”

“There are impressionable ears around. And I do not sound like that.”

“She’s not gonna remember any of this in a week, and yes. You do.” I glare at Owen with an expression of intolerance but my facade is crumbled as I can’t mask the growing smile he elicits by mimicking my expression.

“Let’s go you two.”

After what felt like an eternity we’ve finally made it to the elephant exhibit. The herd of African elephants are spread across the enclosure, some playing in water, some feeding from hay baskets, and a baby closely following it’s mother as she walks across the paddock. When Owen appears beside me

“Do you need a break? We can switch off and you carry the bag.”

“Sure.” I set the baby backpack on the bench behind us and unbuckle the fastenings of the carrier to prop CJ on the side of my hip. As we wait for Owen to take the carrier off his body, I walk her up to the wooden railing that surrounds the elephants’ enclosure. Of course, the sight ahead excites her and she begins bouncing on my side as a means of conveying her feelings. She makes a sound that I interpret as an interrogative before pointing to the animals.

“You see the elephants, CJ?”

“Uh-huh.” She lifts her tiny baby hand into the air and waves the best she can at the elephants, none of which are even looking our way.

“Are we waving? Say ‘hi elephants’!” I wave with her and gauge her smile to be even bigger than when she’d stuck her tongue out two minutes ago.

“Hi ephants!” I freeze mid wave in shock. Did she just-?

“Did you just? Owen!”

“Yeah?” he calls from behind us, still getting all our things in order.

“Did Carolynn or Jeremy say what her first words were?”

“Uhhhh, no. They said she hasn’t been speaking words yet, just consonant sounds,” Owen leaves the items unattended seeing as there’s no one else around,  “Why?”

“CJ. Say ‘hi elephants’!” I wave at the animals once more, praying that that wasn’t a fluke.

“Hi ephants.” Upon hearing her speak, Owen’s face holds the same expression as mine did just two seconds ago.

“Should we video it and send it to them or pretend it never happened so they can be the ones that hear her first words?”

“Take a video, or take a secret to our graves?” He pretends to weigh the options as if this is the most perilous decision we’ll ever make.

“You’re right, you’re right. Will you grab my phone for me?”

“Where is it?”

“My back pocket that the baby is currently sitting on.” I turn around to let Owen grab the device and unlock it for me.

“Should I just get you guys in the video or the elephants, too?”

“What are you talking about? Get in the video!” I scold him for trying to worm his way out of this memory. “Make yourself useful and revive your long lost vlogging skills.” Owen rolls his eyes but flips to the front facing camera and hits record all the same.

“Say ‘hi mom, hi dad’,” I direct CJ and she merely waves at me, not fully understanding the concept of vlogging at the ripe age of 10 months. “Update number 2: we’re at the elephant enclosure and CJ made some friends. Hey,” I speak quietly to capture her attention. “Can you say ‘hi elephants’?”

“Hi ephants!” She screams and then laughs, throwing her head back to make sure Owen is still present.

“A new word!” I cheer as Owen lowers my phone to stop the recording,

“New skill unlocked.” He hits stop and proceeds to trade me CJ for the phone for a quick second so I can send the video to the not exactly new parents.

“They’re gonna love this.” I click my phone off and tuck it back into my back pocket. Retrieving the baby carrier from the desolate bench, I slip it on to strap myself in before CJ. Once secured, I look up to take her from Owen but blink in surprise that they’re no longer standing in front of me. I turn slightly to my left to see CJ stumbling forward on wobbling legs whilst Owen keeps her standing. He removes his hands from her sides and allows her to grab a hold of both of his index fingers in either hand. Slowly, he walks her closer to where I’m standing one tiny step at a time.

The sight in front of me is so sweet there’s a strange feeling culminating in my chest. A micro trace of baby fever crosses my mind at the thought of Owen teaching our own baby to walk. The smile on his face is unlike anything I’ve seen before and the prospect of having kids suddenly becomes less dreary. I’ve always been afraid of being a bad parent, or messing up someone else’s life, but with Owen, all those fears disappear. Becoming a parent is no longer bleak; the thought of raising kids with someone as loving and enthusiastic as Owen, the world seems all that much brighter.

“Y/n,” he calls to get my attention, unaware I’ve been watching for the past few minutes. When he looks up from CJ’s tiny body, and recognizes the familiar ‘baby fever’ look in my eyes, he smiles and utters a simple, “I told you so.”

***

A/n: lawd help me I have been putting off so many requests to write self indulgent bs pls don’t hate me.

Taglist: @caitsymichelle13​ @kaitlyn2907​ @itz-jas @crybabyddl @kcd15 @kinda-really-lost @calamitykaty @morganayennefertyrell @n0wornever @dream-a-little-bigger-x @mrstodorooki @vicesvsvirturesfanfic @curlybrownhairedboys @amazinggracy @kaitieskidmore1 @asdfghjkl-fanfics @ghostlygreenbean @juliefromaustralia @merceret @jemimah-b99 @ifilwtmfc @thesweetestsinner @imsydneywalker @lovesanimals​ @thebloodthirstyvampress @bumbleberry-pie @losers-club6 @tefilovesreading @dmcfarland1 @joynerxmercer @kexrtiz @talk-on-the-street @phantompogues @konciousdreamer @sunsetcurvej @warmnesss0ul @celestialmolina @lilyjoyner

#Julie and the phantoms #Julie and the phantoms fanfiction #Julie and the phantoms fanfic #Julie and the phantoms fic #Julie and the phantoms writing #Julie and the phantoms imagine #Julie and the phantoms oneshot #Julie and the phantoms one shot #Julie and the phantoms fluff #Julie and the phantoms smut #Julie and the phantoms angst #Owen Joyner #Owen Joyner fanfiction #Owen Joyner fanfic #Owen Joyner fic #Owen Joyner writing #Owen Joyner imagine #Owen Joyner oneshot #Owen Joyner one shot #Owen Joyner fluff #Owen Joyner smut #Owen Joyner angst #Owen Joyner x reader #Owen Patrick Joyner #Owen Patrick Joyner fanfiction #Owen Patrick Joyner fanfic #Owen Patrick Joyner fic #Owen Patrick Joyner writing #Owen Patrick Joyner imagine #Owen Patrick Joyner oneshot

[emotions-ew]

A Collection of Queer Country Artists and Songs for anyone who doesn’t feel like there’s country music they can relate to...

There is this idea that country music is like just Republican men singing about beer, and trucks and also Jesus,  and that is kind of fair because loads of it is but there are some cool as hell queer/lgbtq+ country artists. Finding those and finding that representation in a genre of music I was literally raised on kind of changed my life in a tiny way and I wanted to share that.

(This is by no means a comprehensive list and also I’m basing the “Country” part of this sometimes on my subjective opinion/limited music knowledge so yuh please don’t hate me if I get some wrong)

Also link below for a Spotify playlist of my favourite gay/gayish country music, some mentioned in this post some not, (with a title that isn’t obviously gay for anyone who can’t openly listen to gay stuff on their public accounts for whatever reason) so feel free to skip the massive essay and just jump straight to that. And pretty please repost if I missed anyone/ any songs you love.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7KB6PmUxnpkU7lih8Bysvw

Artists To Follow:

Chely Wright

- Right off the bat, Chely Wright is a legend and I’m in love with her. So, in the 90′s Chely Wright was kind of a huge deal. She started her career as a singer/songwriter and released her first album in ‘94, which was critically acclaimed although never reached the commercial success of her later works. By ‘97 she was really hitting her stride, dropping her breakout hit “Shut up and Drive” (a personal favourite of mine) followed two years later by the biggest hit of her career “Single White Female”. Throughout all that Chely Wright was, to the world, a good old fashioned, heterosexual southern gal. Privately it was a bit of a different story. She had public relationships with male country artists, all while pursuing a secret decade long relationship with a woman. 

I hadn’t ever really heard a Chely Wright song until a few years ago so I never knew about her music or career pre-coming out but I do know that even though by the time she came out in 2010 she was by no means at the height of her fame Chely Wright is kind of one of the biggest names in country music to be out and proud (in my opinion) and I love her like an insane amount. I literally play her music in my car when I have passengers just so I can be like “fun fact this singer is actually gay-” and then subject them to a lengthy explanation of her entire career. She came out with an album and a memoir and the album is my favourite of her work because it’s so fucking raw and because I relate to most of it immensely. Anyways Chely Wright went fucking through it in her journey to being her authentic self and now she’s out and proud and married to a woman and they have a family together and I’m a fucking sucker for a happy ending and y’all should add her to every playlist you have. And on top of that her music is genuinely good. Coming out undoubtedly damaged her career but I think that

Brandi Carlile 

- As far as I can tell Brandi Carlile has been out her whole career. I feel like this list is just going to be me saying “I’m in love with her” about a bunch of women old enough to be my mother but in my defence, I am honestly in love with her. She’s been making music since she was like, seventeen, and has had a bunch of massive hits, as a singer, songwriter, and producer. If you want to cry kind of happy tears listen to her performance of “Bring my Flowers Now” with Tanya Tucker. She’s won Grammy’s and CMT awards and she’s done it all as an out Queer woman. She’s also a founding member of The Highwomen, an all-female country music group who released their first album in 2019, comprised of Carlile, Marren Morris, Natalie Hemby and Amanda Shires. I really love this band because they’re four artists who are immensely successfully in their own right collabing, much like the Highwaymen, and their music is phenomenal while also being a fuck you to mainstream country music and their inability to properly represent women in country music spaces. 

She’s been married to a woman (smoking hot and also brilliant) since 2012 and they have two kids together and if you want to cry (again) then you have to listen to her song “Mother” about her eldest daughter. A queer country artist absolutely worth adding to all your playlists. 

Brooke Eden

- As I understand it Eden came out publicly in January of this year. She’s engaged to Hilary Hoover, who she’s been dating since 2015 apparently. I can’t even imagine the pressure that must be on a person and how stressful it would be to keep a relationship secret from the whole world for years and personally I think they’re a cute as hell couple and I wish them literally all the happiness in the world. 

Brooke Eden has a few older songs that I think are really good, my favourite being “Act Like You Don’t”, and while her new stuff isn’t my usual country vibe I am a sucker for literally anything gay and it is legally my gay duty to stream any song that she releases to support my fellow queer. It’s quite different to anything Wright or Carlile sing but I actually kind of love that because it shows that country music of all different shapes and sizes and styles can be sung by queer artists. 

Amythyst Kiah

- Okay so I am a very new listener to Amythyst Kiah, but her music is literally so beautiful it would be a straight up sin to not include her on this list. Her music is country-blues-roots esq (more roots than country, I think?) and her voice is so unique. She grew up in Chattanooga and has been playing music since childhood. She recently made her Opry debut which is fucking awesome. She also belongs to a band called Our Native Daughters, described as “A supergroup of Black women in traditional music”. Their debut album “Songs of Our Native Daughters” did numbers and I haven’t listened to the whole thing but my favourite so far are “Black Myself” and “I Knew I Could Fly” so y’all add that to your playlists along with “Wild Turkey” by Amythyst Kiah because holy hell her voice on that will blow your mind.

Steve Grand

-        The first man to make this list, he should frankly be honoured. Grand has been an out and proud gay man making country music since like 2013, and I have so much respect for an artist who chose to simply never be in, choosing instead to simply write gay ass songs about being in love with men and letting the chips fall where they man. His music is always going to have a special place in my heart and, he’s cute so if you’re into men and music by men give him a google. add him to your playlists, his All-American Boy album is literally just a dozen songs that are perfect to yell-sing along to.

Katie Pruitt

-        Not hugely knowledgeable on Katie Pruitt but her music makes me feel crazy intense emotions and is absolutely gay

 Honorable Mention Artists I haven’t Really Listened to But Who I Know to be gay thanks to google and might be your thing so totally check them out:

Brandy Clark

Ty Herndon

Shelly Fairchild

Lavendar Country

Trixie Mattel

Cameron Hawthorn

Drop any other names of artists or songs you know of 

 Specific Songs That Make Me Fucking Cry or (in good and bad ways (but always in a gay way)) or basically are just gay as hell:

If She Ever Leaves Me; The Highwomen

- So, this album came out about a week before my first (and only) girlfriend broke up with me. The general gist of the song is a woman singing about how her loved isn’t ever going to leave her but if she does it sure as hell won’t be for a creepy man in a bar. A little ironic that I felt I related to it so intensely, considering she did in fact leave me. There’s this one lyric that goes “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve lover here out loud/the sky hasn’t always been blue” and my girlfriend and I were crazy deep in the closet so I drew her a cute little picture of a grey cloud and on the back I wrote that lyric and I gave it to her and to me it was kind of a promise that one day I’d get a chance to love her out loud and even though I never actually did this song is forever going to make me cry because of the little bit of hope that lyric gave me and the way it’s inclusion on this overwhelmingly mainstream country album made me feel like acceptance was just that little bit closer. 

 All American Boy; Steve Grand

- Definitely one of the first gay country songs I ever heard, and Steve Grand didn’t once sacrifice a scrap of country for the gay. It’s beautiful, it’s a little sad, it’s hopeful. It’s forever going to hold a special place in my heart and the music videos is kind of one of my favourites ever. I found this song before I found myself and the way it made my heart warm should have been a stronger sign than I took it to be. 

Like Me; Chely Wright

- When you love someone you kind of make it your mission to know them in a way that no one else can. This song by Chely Wright is sort of an ode to that, and how even once you lost someone, you’re still going to know every little thing about them. On top of that it sort of speaks to the idea that all these things Wright learned about this woman, she learned in secret and she knew her and loved her in secret and now that they’re gone from each other she’s left with all of this knowledge and all of these questions and no one to answer them. I love the way it’s so slow and the melody and her voice, the way it’s low and a little raspy, make this one of my favourite Chely Wright songs.

The Mother; Brandi Carlile

-        Sorry but a song about being a mother by a queer woman is going to make me cry every time and actually I’m not that sorry. It’s quite a simple song, if any song written by Brandi Carlile can ever be described as ‘simple’, it’s an ode to her daughter. My favourite line is “you are not an accident/where no one thought it through” because it speaks to the fact that in order for queer women to have a kid together they have to want it so damn bad and also I just like the way her voice sounds on that line. This song is also the perfect thing to listen to if you ever for a second feel like being gay/queer is going to stand in the way of you having a family because it absolutely doesn’t have to and if that’s something you want, you can have it. Don’t let people try and convince you otherwise.

Loving Her; Katie Pruitt

-        Unapologetic gay love. Opening a song with “If loving hers a sin, I don’t wanna go to heaven” is a fucking baller move and she went there. The lyrics are beautiful, and her voice is phenomenal. It could be a sad song, about confronting religious repression and grappling with what that means for your love, but instead its triumphant. Katie Pruitt doesn’t give a fuck if you have a problem because she’s going to write songs for her lover.

Jesus From Texas; Semler

-        Not actually totally sure this is a country song, but it has the words ‘Jesus’ and ‘Texas’ in the title so I feel safe including it in this list. Honestly, I don’t really know why I relate so hard to this song. Like, I wasn’t really raised with religion, so I don’t know what it is about this funky little tune that makes me want to sob but there’s something about this tune that makes me want to do whatever the opposite of get up and dance is, but like, in a good way.

Lovin’ Again; Steve Grand

-        Breakup song that ends kind of positively? So good to sing along to at high, high volumes. The idea that losing someone doesn’t have to mean losing yourself and just because you can’t love them doesn’t mean you’re not ever going to love again. But also kind of about how it’s hard to get over someone, I don’t know it’s just good.

Cryin’ These Cocksucking Tears; Lavender Country

-        Jesus christ if this isn’t the coolest shit I’ve ever heard in my life. Sorry but a gay country group formed in 1972 who dropped possibly the first gay themed country album, and this was the title of one of the songs. God I am in love.

 Songs that (to me) are a little fruity or that I just relate to in a gay way:

Picket Fences; Chely Wright

-          Chely Wright is gay but this song came out long before she did and when she wrote it, it wasn’t supposed to be gay which is why it’s in this section and not the previous. The reason it’s included at all is because frankly ma’am, Mrs Wright, it’s a little fruity. And I feel a little bad for joking because honestly to me, the way I hear this song and knowing the context (that Wright was deeply closeted at the time she wrote and released it), it’s kind of just sad. The general gist of the song is Wright asking what’s so great about a traditional lifestyle anyways. It could be read as a woman genuinely questioning why we push that expectation that she’ll have two kids and a husband and a picket fence lifestyle, or even could be read as a woman who’s trying to deflect how much she does in fact want that, you have to listen and form your own opinion. But to me, it feels like a woman who’s desperately trying to justify why she doesn’t want that life not because she can’t have it, but she knows it will never be right for her. I don’t know it’s hard to explain I just feel like this song is a little bit gay even though I’m sure she didn’t intend that.

Sinning with You; Sam Hunt

-          Sorry but this song is gay. Sorry but you can’t write the lines “I never felt like I was sinning with you/Always felt like I could talk to God in the morning” and “if it’s so wrong why did it feel so right” and “But I never felt shame, never felt sorry/Never felt guilty touching your body” and not to mention the opening line of “raised in the first pew/praises for yeshua/case of a small town repression”, and expect to not sit in my car sobbing as I realised that while I never felt like what we did was a sin she absolutely did, and wishing I could have told her that I was sorry for making her carry the weight of both our souls but also that it wasn’t a sin and nothing in the world could feel that good and be that bad and it isn’t right that she had to be so ashamed of something that was just so good. Sam Hunt actually said after he wrote the song that while it was reflection on his own relationship with faith he genuinely hopes that people in the lgbtq community can like find comfort or whatever in his words and like go off king, we stan an ally.

  How do I Get There; Deana Carter

-          This ones easy, it’s about falling in love with your best friend and suddenly realising you want more than just friendship with them. Sorry Deana, that’s gay. In my Deana Carter of like Year 10 I played this song on repeat and screamed along to the lyrics as though singing it hard enough would make her like me back.

#country #country music #music #singer #lgtbqia #lesbian #queer #gay #brandi carlile #brandy clark #chely wright #owns my entire heart #deana carter #country songs #playlist #compilation #steve grand #lavender country #brooke eden #trixie mattel #katie pruitt #semler #gay country music #gay country songs #add to this playlist and this post i want to know everyones favourite country songs and artists who are gay as hell