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schnitzelbutterfingers · 3 years

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The Forgotten One (Ethan Ramsey x F!MC)- CHAPTER 3

a/n: first, i wanna wish everyone a happy thanksgiving from my family to yours! please take the time to thank everyone you are so grateful to have in your life, especially god, for letting us live and for all the blessings he gives us. do not take anyone for granted.

next, so sorry for the holdup!! finally, chapter 3 is here! we’ll see what abby feels about the attack, her and ethan conversing, and a surprise ending. read, like, and let me know your reviews! forgive me if there are any spelling mistakes or grammar errors. let me know if you wanna be added to my taglist and as always, enjoy (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

summary: Louise Ramsey, the mother of the famous, brilliant diagnostician Ethan Ramsey, is back into his life. However, Louise holds many secrets, dangerous secrets, that could harm him, Dr. Abigail ‘Abby’ Chacko (my MC), and the very few lives he actually cares about. It is up to Ethan, Abby, and their friends to save each other from what is about to come.

pairing(s): dr. ethan ramsey x f!mc (dr. abigail ‘abby’ chacko) || dr. sebastian chacko x dolores hudson (YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT)

warning(s): angst, and then it’s pure fluff, and then a surprise ending (you’re gonna die die dieeee :)))

word count: 4289

catch up here :)

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Abby’s POV

When she wakes up it is with a headache, a throat ache and side pain. When she looks more closely at her nose, she sees an oxygen tube through them. When she looks more closely at her surroundings, she realizes she is in a hospital bed.

Lying down. Wearing a sky blue hospital gown. With an IV through her accessory cephalic vein.

Jumping Jehoshaphat, what happened this time?

Abby spent many times in the hospital during her childhood. Most of them were due to the number of cuts and bruises she got from her father, in which some of them were very serious injuries. One time she was admitted to the hospital because...

No, Abby. Don’t relive through that phase. It’ll wound you more.

There are many types of pain. Many of her pains were physical, but some of her pains were emotional. By far, she can tell the emotional pain is the hardest to get over with.

Sure, she has been cut with a knife, raped by many of her father’s friends, and whipped with a belt. To her it was normal, and she had gotten used to it. To others, the pain is insufferable.

Heartbreak hurts. Too much. It can rip people from the inside out, and change them. For better or worse.

Her father caused her many heartbreaks. In return, she studies, skipped five grades, graduated from high school when she was 13, and graduated from Hopkins when she was 21. Some might say she took it too far, but she knows it was just what she needed.

What she needed to prove to her father that pain doesn’t break her.

What she needed to prove to her horrid patients that she is not dumb.

What she needed to prove to the whole world that she is not as young and innocent as everyone thinks she is.

Death, betrayal, and pain were her three companions, with some delectation in between. She cherished those jocund moments.

And she thanked God. Seb. Jazmin. Ethan. Herself. For all the hard work.

But what happened right now? Why is she in this bed?

It feels as if she has fallen into a cactus, her heart being punctured by tiny pins and needles. It’s starting at the bottom of her stomach, and it’s slowly growing.

The anxiety.

The depression.

It feels like some kind of vaccination, where the shot doesn’t really hurt but the aftermath feels disastrous, cataclysmic. It’s leaving her breathless, as if she is running away from a ghost from her past. It is leaving a certain kind of exhaustion on her.

It’s heartbreak. But why? Why does she feel heartbreak? What could have possibly gone wrong-

Everything. Everything is going wrong. Bingo. She knows what is happening. But she can’t even speak the name out loud. It’s petrifying her. Really well.

Louise Ramsey.

Ethan’s mother who claimed to come for him and Alan.

Louise Ramsey.

The one who tricked them, including her.

Louise Ramsey.

The one who stabbed her. The one who she trusted.

The one who she believed had a change of heart didn’t have a change of heart at all.

She fooled everyone. She’s a liar. She is manipulative. She is every dark sin written across this universe. She is the next generation of Sat-

Wait. Wait a long moment.

Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

How is Abby supposed to tell this to Ethan of all people? How is she supposed to let him know his own mother tried to harm her?

But she had to.

Moisture is falling from the tip of her index finger, even if the bed sheets feel cool. Sweat is dripping from her forehead, even if the hospital room is air conditioned. An imaginary shock travels through her body. The sharpness of the pain is unequivocal and indisputable that it sends shockwaves through her bloodstream. If it wasn’t for the bed, she would have crumpled to the floor.

She is currently holding the bed frame with a white-knuckled grip.

The young doctor scratched her arm nervously, mindful of the IV, as she let that horrifying memory fly through her.

Louise stabs her in the side, blood spilling to Abby’s legs and on the floor. She couldn’t say anything, words failing to come our of her mouth, every second making it harder to breather. She starts to lose consciousness, hearing the sounds of the patients in the room screaming for security.

Louise whispers into her ear, “The game has begun.”

The last thing she sees is Louise running towards the exit and nurses coming towards Abby, before her world evades into darkness.

That’s what happened. That’s why she’s in the hospital bed, feeling like crap.

That’s why she feels heartbreak, of all the emotions she can feel. She has heard of brother cheating on brother and father cheating on his wife. But a mother disowning her own husband and son, but then comes back only for her to clown them?

That goes all the way back to Rebekah and Jacob in the Old Testament of the Bible, if you ask me.

She is back to the question on how she is supposed to tell Ethan.

Does he know? If he knows, how does he feel? Does he feel depressed?

She sure hopes not.

When something happens to Abby, he always blamed on himself. Whether it was his fault or not. She reminisces on when Ethan apologized and was filled guilt when he found out about the trial.

Or when he came back from the Amazon. He didn’t really apologize for that, but the regret and remorse lurking beneath his eyes was the only thing she needed to know. To know that he was feeling guilt. Dismay. Lamentation.

Or when he opened up his bottled-up feelings concerning his mother. He said that he wasn’t planning on ‘dragging’ her into his mess.

Or when she was in that decontamination room. She remembers his words clearly, words that were etched into her heart.

I wished I hadn’t asked you to stay away.

Or now.

If he knows.

She knows what will happen if Ethan blames himself for this. He will be a different person. He will start becoming cold-hearted to people he cares about. He will push her away. Again.

Because he tends to believe that it is all his fault that accidents happen to the people he cherishes the most. He thinks that he is a curse. A malediction. An imprecation. She remembers the night when they connected for the first time. What he said.

This is The Ethan Ramsey. The man who can save anyone except the people he gives a damn about. Not Dolores. Not Naveen. And not you.

She was torn by what he said. Not because he said he couldn’t save her, but because he couldn’t love himself.

The young doctor hopes he already knows what happened. Who stabbed her. She couldn’t even bear the thought of seeing his face crumble. The man who was stoic. The man who every one recognized as an imbecile. The man who every single doctor is head-over-heels in love with.

Ethan told her to tell him everything. Everything that makes her angry. Everything that makes her sad. Everything that makes her happy.

If he doesn’t know what happened, she will tell him. She promised him that.

*Flashback*

It's normal for Abby to have a panic attack. Keeping her inhaler with her was vital for her to go through the day. Especially this week.

It’s been one week after the incident. That incident. That incident that took two innocent lives. Danny and Bobby. It’s all her fault.

If Danny was alive, him and Sienna would’ve been a couple, loving each other. Now, she sees a Sienna whose eyes are haunted. Grave. Not filled with any giddy or joy. She doesn’t see her smile anymore, the once blushed cheeks with her beautiful grin that shows off her dimples, gone. Lost. Thrown away.

If Bobby was alive, he could’ve bought his daughter the new car. It was what he always wanted to do. Instead of enjoying his time with his daughter in her brand new car, he’s under the cold earth.

Rafael is now going under therapy, but he also feels less confident from Rafael the paramedic. She misses the way he smiles. He does smile now, but there is no joy beneath his eyes.

And for Abby, she is not okay. She wishes she died. But she knows she couldn’t. There are people rooting for her. Her brother. Her mother. Her friends. Ethan. Ethan.

When she was informed that the gas in her body was maitotoxin and there was no cure, she accepted her fate and was ready to die. She glanced at Ethan, and his expression wasn’t betraying anything. But the eyes held more feelings than ever. They were pleading. They said, “Please don’t give up.”

She then realized that if they can find a cure within one day, she’ll try and survive. If not for me, then for Ethan and all the people I love, she thought.

Abby starts passing through that hallway. That one hallway. That one hallway that changed her life. No, that one room. And then, she passes through that room.

It’s clean, all the seals, the beds inside with new blankets and pillows. But she can’t see any of that. She can only see her, Rafael, Danny, and Bobby in that room. She sees Bobby dying. She sees Danny being taken away. She sees Rafael and herself being unable to breathe.

Suddenly she runs away. She can’t take it anymore. You stupid, why would you even come back to the hospital when you’re not ready yet? she scolds herself. Because of Farley. Damn it.

Abby is flooded by her own thoughts when she accidentally runs into someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry, I-”

Only to know that someone is the one.

She hears his baritone voice calling out to her, finding comfort and solace in it.

“Abby? What’s wrong? Are you alright?” Ethan wipes something off her cheeks, and she realized that she was crying the whole time. She was so lost in her emotions that she didn’t a single drop falling down to her right cheek.

“I-” The young doctor tries to speak but couldn’t. She can’t breathe.

“Rookie!” Ethan quickly drags her to the nearest supply closet. He asks her where her inhaler is.

“Left... pocket...”

He hastily grabs and places it into her mouth.

“Deep breaths, rookie. Deep breaths.”

She does as she is asked and takes deep breaths. After a few long moments, her breathing level starts to go normal.

“Rookie, you weren’t ready for your first day back, were you?”

Abby starts to argue. “Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because you panic attack right now seems to prove otherwise.”

She sighs. He’s right. She wasn’t even ready to set foot into the hospital. The only reason she did was because of Farley’s rash, and she thought it was life threatening.

Ethan sighs, breaking her from her thoughts.

“Go home, Abby, you’ve had a long day.”

Abby is about to snipe back when he stops her by raising his hand.

“On second thought, I’ll take you to my house. We’re gonna take a day off.”

“But Ethan, we both have patients-”

“Who will be taken care of by the other doctors in this hospital. If you think I’ll be leaving you anytime soon, you’re wrong.”

Hearing his words makes Abby feel lighthearted. She is stubborn just like him, but he’ll always be there for her.

After getting a confirmation and a wink from Naveen, they are in the car. It’s 1:00 P.M., and Abby sees couples sitting on the chairs in the outside booths of a restaurant, smiling, one couple holding hands. She dreams of these moments with Ethan, but their relationship is still uncertain.

The car stops at a red light, and she turns around to look at Ethan, who is lost in thought.

“Ethan, are you alright?” she asks him, concerned.

The mature doctor cracks a dry smile towards her. “I should be asking you that.”

“Ethan...”

“Abby... are you having suicidal thoughts?”

Abby was astounded by his question.

“Ethan! Why would you think that?”

“I’m just asking. If you ever feel that, come talk to me immediately. I can’t...”

It hit her on what Ethan was thinking about. He doesn’t want her to leave. As much as the question made her a little frustrated, she couldn’t help but think about what he was feeling throughout the whole ordeal n the decontamination room.

Abby takes a deep breath. “Ethan, I’m not suicidal. I never have been. I was just uncomfortable, that’s all.”

Ethan looks at her deeply into her eyes. She can literally feel him searching for any lies at her statement, his body relaxing when he didn’t find any.

When he stops the car, she realizes that they’re here. Before Abby can take off her seatbelt, Ethan’s hand on hers stops her from doing anything. She looks up with a questioning expression.

Ethan speaks in a very stern but concerned way. “If you ever have anything irritating or frustrating you-” he kisses her on the forehead.

“Anything that brings you pain-” He kisses her on the nose, making her scrunch it.

“Anything at all, that makes you want to cry out-” He kisses her on both cheeks.

“You come and tell me. Promise me” He finally kisses her on the lips.

As the final words come out from Ethan’s lips, she wonders about how she is so lucky to have him. Tears were burning in the back of her eyes, but this time, they were tears of gratefulness. To Ethan. For being her best friend. She cracks a smile.

“I promise.”

*Back to present*

“Hello? Ma’am? Doctor?” she is interrupted from her thoughts by a male nurse. When she checks his tag, his name is Caspian Chapman, and he has a light British accent. She hasn’t seen him before. Abby suddenly feels embarrassed. Who knows how many times, he called her like that.

“Hi, I am so sorry,” she says shyly. “I was lost in thought. Were you speaking to me this whole time?”

Caspian gives her a wide smile. “Nope! I just came in! My name is Caspian, and I will be your nurse! I am new here so...” he trails off.

The young resident laughs, despite the pain on her left side. “Haha, don’t worry! I’m not one of those Karens! Now tell me, how long will I be staying here?”

“From the stab wound you received, you will probably be admitted here for a week.”

Abby inwardly groans, wanting to just go home. Of course this would happen. Even if she’s disappointed by the news, she knows that it is vital for her to recover.

“So, did the stab wound affect my liver or...” she winces at her left side.

Caspian sighs. “You are correct. They brought you to surgery quickly, or who knows what would have happened.”

“Wait, how did you know I’m a doctor?”

Caspian smiles again. “Are you kidding me? You are Dr. Ethan Ramsey’s protege and in the diagnostics team! Not only that, you helped him save Dr. Naveen Banerji! You are also popular on Instagram. Anyone would kill to be in a spot and reputation like you.”

Her cheeks grow red.

“I suppose so...” she trails off.

The new male nurse speaks. “Anyways, I should let Dr. Ramsey, Dr. Banerji, and your family know that you are awake! They will be at relief.”

Wait, what? Ethan is here? Naveen is here? My family is here? They must’ve found out the harsh truth.

As Caspian turns to leave, Abby stops him. The nurse turns around.

“Yes? Is something the matter?”

“I just wanted to know if they knew who stabbed me.”

Caspian grimaces. “Yes, they are well aware. Do you not wish to speak to them?”

Oh no. Ethan knows. What will she do? Should she call in her family first? No Abby, he'll think that I’m mad at him! She inwardly slaps herself.

Okay, Abby, deep breaths. She took a deep breath, held it for three seconds, and exhaled.

“Can you do me a favor and call in Eth- Dr. Ramsey first?”

“I will,” he replies back.

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Ethan’s POV

He is terrified. Terrified to go and see her. Terrified to talk to her. But he has to. He has to let her know he loves her. He has to let her know that he can’t live without her. He feels a hand on his shoulder. Seb.

“Ethan, buddy, remember what I said. Tell her you love her. Make yourself happy. Make her happy. And she will never blame you for anything that happened. She’s a very reasonable girl.”

He looks into Seb’s eyes, and sees that there is something he didn’t tell him. Some kind of sadness, but there is happiness mixed in. He will find out later.

The older doctor turns around and sees the support written in their faces. Seb. Jazmin. Naveen. They are smiling broadly.

Naveen claps him on his back. “Now go get your woman, Ethan.”

Ethan smiles back. “Thank you, guys.”

He took a deep breath and opened the doors.

There she is. Abby. At once, she turned her head around, and at once, dusky brown met ocean blue. She looks tired, her body a little weak, but she still gives him a wide smile that sends his heart swooping forward. Oh, he has it bad.

“Ethan. Hey.” Abby welcomes him and pats at a seat on her bed. He, however, was hesitant to do so.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you...”

She rolls her eyes. “Ethan, I was stabbed, not hit by a truck. Now, be a good boy and sit on the bed.”

He does as he is asked, sitting on the edge, eyes never leaving hers. “How do you feel?”

“My side’s kinda sore, but I’ll survive... How are you?” she asks hesitantly.

“W-What do you mean?” he stutters. Ethan Ramsey never stutters.

“...I know who the perpetrator is, Ethan.” So she does know.

Before Ethan can say anything, Abby replies. “I know you are blaming yourself for what your mother did. But I will say it again and again until it gets through that smart head of yours. It’s not your fault, do you hear me?”

His eyes are shining with tears, his heart all the way up to his throat.

“Abby... I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He blinks, and a droplet fails to stay in his eyes, escaping from the confinement.

The young resident suddenly sits up, wincing a little at the abrupt movement. Her eyes are full of alarm. “Ethan, c'mere.”

And he does. He hugs her tight, mindful of her side, his nose nuzzling his neck. Abby wraps her arms around him and strokes his hair. The motion gives him a sense of peace. His eyes drop a few more tears. I will tell her.

“Abby, I love you.” She tenses. Before she says anything, he cuts her off.

“No, Abby, please listen to me. I’ve loved you since the first day you’ve stepped foot into this hospital. I love how you’re always a colossal pain in my ass. I love how your eyes sparkle every time you hear good news. I love how your dimples pop up when you smile. I love how you bite your lip when you think about something. I love everything about you. Your courage. Your admiration. Your passion. I love you body. I love you face. And i now know, that I never want to let you go again.”

When Ethan pulls back and cups her face, he can see the tears glistening, failing to hold still and dropping down onto her cheeks. She half-sobs and half-laughs.

“Ethan, I love you, too.” And that is all he needs to hear.

He kisses her cold lips gently and pulls back, finding his sense of relief. She, in return, kisses his forehead. He promises to himself one thing: he’ll never let her go again.

______________________________________________________________

Seb’s POV

Seeing them crying of happiness makes him smile, his heart feeling elevated with joy. They deserve this joy. They both’ve been through a lot lately, and confessing their love for each other was their first step towards recovery.

“Psst! Seb!” Amma. Behind her is Naveen.

“How is it going there?”

The surgeon smiles triumphantly. “Our plan worked.”

Quiet cheers came out of their mouths.

“Finally!” Naveen sighs. “I’ve been waiting for this moment for months. Ethan’s too damn stubborn for his own good.”

Seb laughs quietly. “That he is.”

Amma scratches his wool sweater. He just realized the feeling of itch on his skin because of the wool. And he can’t wait to take it off. But they won’t be leaving Abby’s room for the next two days. Not him, at least.

“Will it be alright if we go in and interrupt them?” Amma asks hesitantly. “I have an urge to hug my daughter after the incident.’

“I am sure that will be alright.”

Amma knocks the door. After hearing an acknowledgment, all three of them walked in.

“Hi Ethan, is it alright if I hug my daughter? I do not mean to waste any of your-”

Ethan looks at her incredulously. “Why would you ask me if you want to hug your own daughter? I don’t mind at all.”

The famous doctor looks at Seb with a questioning look, who shrugs.

Mother rushes forward and hugs Abby carefully, sobbing as she kisses al of her face. The resident sighs.

“Amma, look at me.” Abby forces Jazmin’s face to her. “I. Am. Fine.”

“Sorry, Ladoo, your mother was just very worried when we got the call. I won’t try to cry, alright?”

The Chacko smiles easily. “now that’s what I wanted to hear from you. My Amma is strong.”

Abby sighs and looks at Seb and Naveen, smiling cheerily. “Who’s next in line for cuddles?”

Seb comes forward, finally at ease when he kisses her forehead gently. He hugs her as tight as he can, the injury preventing him for hugging her more.

“Please, for the love of Pete, please never scare us like that again.”

She laughs lightly and cuddles closer to him. “I’ll try not to.”

Seb looks up and sees Ethan with a light smile on his face. He finally feels light, free.

He then hears Jazmin’s stomach grumble lightly. Abby laughs hearing this. “Why did you guys not eat? All of you need to get food. Now.”

“I’m not gonna leave you this time around,” he replies.

Seb’s sister groans. “I knew you would say that.”

The surgeon has an idea. “How about I get all of us some burgers from a nearby restaurant? Since I doubt Ethan’s gonna like what he gets from the cafeteria.”

The famous attending shrugs and then grins easily. “You know me so well.”

“Only for you.”

Abby is on a strict water diet for two days, so he considers buying a cup of chocolate pudding for her. As he leaves the room, he sees Naveen hugging Abby, which brought some emotions to the Chacko. Naveen is like the father he never had before.

Seb is really joyous and filled with triumph at the love confessions between Abby and Ethan. He only wishes it could happen to him.

But it can’t. Because he lost the love of his life last year. Due to a seizure. While she was giving birth. All of their promises. All of their hopes and dreams. Gone. Forever

I miss her... I miss her a lot.

Suddenly, he hears a whistle. A familiar whistle. It sounds like her.

When she was alive, they used to whistle a lot. it was a form of their communication. The whistle that heard now was a way of saying, “Turn around.”

No, Seb, he thinks. You’re just letting yourself get too emotional. Stop hallucinating.

But then he hears it again. And it’s behind him. A little far away from him.

He’s afraid to turn around. He can’t move.

He forces himself to turn around, like the whistle had told him to.

And then he sees her. He sees her. He actually sees her.

No way, it can’t be... Suddenly, Seb speaks.

“...Dolores? Is that really you?”

She smiles. That smile. He missed that damn smile. Her face and hands are covered with small bruises.

And she talks. “Yeah, Seb. It’s me. Dolores Hudson. I’m alive. I really am.”

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Mystery Man’s POV

I give Louise some cash that she was looking forward to.

“Great, thanks!” she says with a smile.

“Anything for my wife,” I reply, with an emphasis on the word ‘wife’.

She rolls her eyes. “Ugh, don’t call me that. I married you to destroy them, not to love you. Now where’s that manicure you promised?”

Louise is annoying as hell. Sometimes I wonder how her former husband Alan dealt with her. What a man, I think.

She gives me a mischievous grin. “Now give me a kiss.”

I groan, and I quickly give her a kiss, not wanting it to last for long.

Then, I feel a vibration in my pocket. It’s my phone. I pick it up.

It’s one of my guards. And I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I bark him an order. Blood rushes through my veins, and for the first time in a long time, I feel fear.

I hang up the phone and look at Louise, whose eyes held confusion. I decide to answer her questioning glance.

“Missing captive alert. Dolores Hudson has escaped.”

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a/n 2: hope you liked that ending!

a/n 3: i know dolores died of a seizure while under an emergency c-section, but in this au, i refuse to believe so :)

tags:@missmiimiie @aylamwrites @starrystarrytrouble @udishaman @caseyvalentineramsey @queencarb @choicesstan1 @newcolonies @arcticrivers @angela8756 @takemyopenheart @rookie-ramsey @ohchoices @ohvamsey @ohramsey @natureblooms24 @drariellevalentine @maurine07 @lucy-268 @thanialis

@openheartfanfics

@choicesficwriterscreations

#pixelberry choices #choices stories you play #open heart #open heart choices #pixelberry #pixelberry open heart #ethan ramsey #playchoices #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan ramsey fanfiction

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auroraicefieldarchive · 4 years

Text

The wind blew hard. His hair was flying everywhere, even though it was up in a ponytail. He couldn’t do a thing with his bangs. His scarf blew as well, but he had no intentions of taking it off. The wind brought him back to another time. A time from very long ago. Painful memories that always swirled back into his head when there was a massive windstorm, which thankfully, wasn’t too often of an occurrence.

Bark had been just a child. Just a little kid, and a skinny kid at that. He came from a family of prestige, to have a skinny son was a nightmare for his parents. In polar bear society, being large was considered to be desirable. Being able to hunt was a skill every man needed to have. Those were both things Bark didn’t have. His name wasn’t even Bark back then. Bark was just the name he went by. A mercenary name. He’d created it when he moved to the southern regions of the planet with his newly formed team at the time.

Bark’s real name was Amaqjuaq. It meant, “strong one’. To this day, only Nack and Bean knew his real name.

His parents had high hopes for him when it was discovered that he had super strength. He destroyed things due to not being able to control it. From a young age, he took up archery, as a means to control that strength. Back in the old days, he would just break the bow. But as he got older, and grew more in control of his hands, he began to limit how much strength he used in one hold. It was a good thing to learn, so he didn’t hurt anyone.

He never wanted to hurt anyone.

But he wasn’t a fan of the food polar bears generally ate to gain weight. He couldn’t stomach very much of it before he got sick, and because of that, he was pretty small for a polar bear. As he got older, he got yelled at every meal. He’d discovered something that didn’t taste bad. Fish. He’d caught one by accident, and enticed by the scent, took a bite. It was heavenly. And back then he didn’t even know you could cook them. So he’d go swimming and catch fish that way, have something to eat, then go home and be expected to eat something as poor tasting as seal blubber.

Then the shouting would begin again. Almost all day every day. His parents would yell at him, and even at each other, claiming the other had done something to him in his formative years to make him skinny. It was turbulent, and speaking only got him a slap in the face. So he learned to stop talking. Completely. If he didn’t talk, he wouldn’t get hurt. That was how the world worked for him.

It was his grandfather that taught him how to fish. He confessed his eating habits to him, as his grandfather had been very kind. And his grandfather had taught him how to fish the proper way, rather than just diving in and trying to catch them in his teeth. And he grew to love that as well. Just watching the auroras streak by while waiting for a bite. He was at peace when he was alone, in nature. When he got home, that’s when the stress began.

It was cold. Because he was so skinny, it was dangerous to go in the water. Thick fat was an important part of keeping warm, especially in the ice cold sea. It was how polar bears insulated themselves. It wasn’t just about culture, it was about staying alive. Just as hunting was. He’d never tried hunting a wild animal, but he was getting to be a pretty good fisherman.

As he grew older, his grandfather did as well. And eventually, he did pass away. Rumor had it that you could see the spirits of your loved ones if you climbed the tallest ice peak. He considered that sometime ago, but it was too cold, and dangerous. Without someone in his family who loved him, and defended him, the fighting got even worse. Fighting seemed to be all he knew. And he was growing a resentment for the world because of it.

All he wanted was a peaceful life out on the ice fields, and instead, he got fighting. Always fighting. Always yelling, even though he never spoke up himself. He’d only talked to his grandfather, and without him, he had no reason to speak ever again. So he didn’t. His family lost their status in prestige when it was discovered that their son wasn’t any good at polar bear activities like hunting mobini seals.

They had to move into a smaller home, they couldn’t afford the fancy trinkets in life anymore. And that was when he started getting hit. And it taught him, if he didn’t hit first, he would get hit back. And it hurt to get hit. It was scary to get hit. He had to be the one to hit first. And with his strength, he left a pretty solid mark on his father one day. He hadn’t meant to use that much strength. He didn’t even want to hurt anybody. But he was getting hurt, and he had to fight back somehow, someway.

After that, he got hit with objects, rather than his father’s hands. Which he easily broke, until most of the furniture in the house was ripped or torn in some way or another. That was when his anxiety hit the roof. He didn’t want to go home anymore. He’d been living off of fish for a while. Just a few here and there, being as thin as he was, he couldn’t eat much. Which meant bad things in terms of polar bear society. At twelve years old, he packed his fishing rod in his sack, took a few keepsakes, like the scarf his grandfather had given him to combat the cold. And he was gone, during the dark months of winter.

The wind was frigid then too, and for his thinner body, it affected him. He could see through the blizzard, any living polar bear could because of a special coating on their eyes. But it was cold. And that was what he was reminded of today, during this intense windstorm. Reminded of just running. Running until he couldn’t run anymore. And then, he collapsed in the frigid blizzard, shivering, crying silently.

Scared.

But he survived. And he vowed to become the biggest, most ferocious polar bear in all the arctic. He would prove that he wasn’t worthless, somehow. And if anyone crossed his path, he’d fight. He’d kill. He’d consume the fresh meat. He hated the world. Hated people. The only thing he cared about was the beautiful world around him. And out in the wilds of the Aurora Icefields, you didn’t have to interact with any sentient people. There were mobinni animals to eat, and fish to catch.

That was all he did. He’d eat, sleep, and travel. As he got older, he really grew into the scarf. It didn’t hang so loose anymore. He grew big, as a polar bear was meant to be. He grew to be a great hunter, through a lot of trial and error. Through a lot of injury. Amaqjuaq was dead, and gone. He named himself Bark, after the intimidating growling noises he made towards any living thing that crossed his path. He didn’t speak at all, for many years. Wasn’t necessary when you lived in isolation from the world.

All he needed was food, and nature. Anything else, he’d fight against.

That was what this windstorm made him think of, and he shuddered at the foul memories that haunted his mind. Maybe it was time to go home for now. Be surrounded by the two people in the world who actually cared about him, miraculous as that was. The two people he could actually communicate with. The two people whom he would protect until the day he died.

And that put a smile back on his face.

Time to go home.

#life with Bark #headcanons for burr #[I wanted to go into his backstory a little because I never have before]#child abuse ///#abuse ///#[if those things bother u pls don't read this]

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tao-natural-alternative · 5 years

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The Story of the Yellow River and Chinese Acupuncture

1. Acupuncture: An extraordinary therapeutic method over two millennia old

Acupuncture treats diseases by the insertion of fine needles into the body. In July of 1971, Dr. Henry A. Kissinger made a secret trip to China to prepare for President Nixon's historical visit. Among his entourage was James Reston, a journalist from the New York Times. While in China, Reston suffered an attack of acute appendicitis and underwent an appendectomy at the Beijing Union Medical College, established by the Rockefeller Foundation of New York in 1916. During the second night after the operation, Reston started to experience considerable discomfort in his abdomen.

With his approval, an acupuncturist at the hospital inserted and manipulated three long thin needles, one into the outer part of his right elbow and one below each knee. There was noticeable relaxation of the abdominal pressure and distension within an hour, with no recurrence of the problem thereafter. James Reston included a detailed description of his experiences with acupuncture in his dispatches from Beijing. This was the first such report to reach the English-speaking citizens of the United States, at least the vast majority who had no daily contact with Asians.

By contrast, acupuncture has been known and practiced in China for over 2300 years. Qin Yueren, the earliest recorded Chinese practitioner, is considered to be the founder of acupuncture. A biography of Qin Yueren is included in the Records of the Grand Historian (Shi Ji), the masterwork of the eminent Chinese historian Sima Qian (135 - ? BC). It is known that Qin Yueren lived around 407-310 BC, and was a contemporary of Hippocrates (c. 460-377 BC), the father of Western medicine.

Qin Yueren traveled widely throughout the feudal states that compromised China during his time, treating men and women, old and young alike. As a result, he was given the auspicious appellation Bian Que, which means Wayfaring Magpie - a bird that flies here and there dispensing good fortune. Several carved stones, unearthed from a tomb dating back to the Eastern Han Dynasty (25-220 AD), portray him with a human head and a bird's body.

On one occasion, while passing through the State of Guo (present-day Shan County in Henan Province), Bian Que learned that the Prince of Guo had died and his subjects were preparing to inter him. After careful examination, Bian Que believed that the prince had merely experienced a type of deep coma known as deathlike reversal. He successfully resuscitated the patient by needling an acupoint on the vertex of his head, and become known for bringing the dead back to life. This was the first recorded use of acupuncture in China.

Acupuncture is extraordinary. Needles have historically been among the most common tools of daily life, used for constructing garments all over the world. Just as needles are used to sew clothes, they are also utilized medically to suture incisions. While hollow syringes are used to inject fluids into the body or to draw them out, pricking the body with a solid acupuncture needle to treat illness seems quite incomprehensible. Most people prefer not to be punctured with needles, and associate needling with pain and injury. No wonder, to "needle" a person means to displease or to irritate in English. By trial and error, healers throughout the world have independently discovered similar treatments for pain and disease, including herbs, roots, wraps, rubs, blood-letting, massage, meditation, or surgery. But the invention of acupuncture is unique to China.

Why did the ancient Chinese begin to treat disease by puncturing the body with bare needles? A generally accepted answer to this question is that acupuncture evolved as a natural outgrowth of daily life in the Neolithic Age (c. 8000-3500 BC), through a process of fortuitous accident and repeated empirical experience. According to this theory, people noticed cases in which physical problems were relieved following an unrelated injury. This led to the discovery of the principle that injury to a certain part of the body can alleviate or even cure a pre-existing disease or disorder in a different part of the body.

It is thought that with this discovery, Neolithic Chinese people eventually started to use stones, animal bones, or pieces of bamboo to deliberately induce injury to relieve physical problems. The traumatic nature of acupuncture, which seems quite crude by modern standards, as well as its long history in China, seem to lend credence to the theory of its prehistoric origins. However, if acupuncture did indeed arise from repeated empirical experience of accidental injury, it should have developed all over the world, rather than solely in China.

2. Meridians of the Body: The rivers of the Earth in microcosm

According to traditional Chinese medicine, a network known as "meridians" is distributed throughout the human body, carrying Qi (vital energy) and blood to nourish the organs and tissues. Meridians of the human body are very similar to rivers of the earth in both structure and function. Rivers are the meridians of the Earth in macrocosm. They are the channels that contain the flow of water, the life force of our planet. On the microcosmic scale, the meridians of the human body are the channels that contain the flow of Qi and blood, the life force of living beings.

The ancient Chinese found that there are twelve Regular Meridians in the human body. The Neijing or Huangdi Nejing (the Yellow Emperor's Inner Classic of Medicine) (compiled between 104-32 BC) is the seminal work of traditional Chinese medicine and the earliest extant medical exposition of acupuncture. The chapter entitled "Regular Watercourses (Jingshui)" deals specifically with the correspondences between the twelve Regular Meridians and the twelve major rivers in China. The rivers mentioned are located in the basins of the Changjiang River and the Yellow River.

The techniques and terminology of flood control offer a vivid analogy of the therapeutic mechanisms of acupuncture. Blockages in these "energy rivers" act as dams, obstructing the flow of Qi and blood and causing it to back up in connecting channels. Needling the acupoints removes the obstructions, curing disease by reestablishing the regular flow of Qi and blood. In the same way, dredging a river by clearing away sediment prevents flooding by allowing the water to flow freely. Similar descriptions of flood control and acupuncture have been used since acupuncture first appeared as a comprehensive system of healing early in China's Western Han Dynasty (206 BC-24 AD). Such hydraulic terminology has been employed not simply for its evocative imagery. Rather, it indicates the understanding the Chinese ancestors have attained by this time of the correspondences between Nature and Human, river and meridian, flood and disease.

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3. Dredging rather than Diking: The unparalleled mastery of flood control attained by the Chinese ancestors

China is located on an immense and steep continental slope, unlike any other in the world. The Qinghai-Tibet Plateau, located in the western part of China, is the highest and geologically youngest plateau on Earth. It is known as the Roof of the World, with an average elevation of 4000-4500 meters. A Chinese saying states, "The higher the mountain towers, the higher the water rises." The vast and cloud-kissed Qinghai-Tibet Plateau is the largest and highest natural water tower on Earth, storing snow precipitated from water vapor emitted by the world's oceans and seas. As the compacted snow melts away under the sun, drop by drop, the liberated water flows naturally downward to the east and accumulates into tiny streams, which then converge into mighty torrents that empty back into the ocean.

China's two longest rivers, the Yangtze River and the Yellow River, originate in the heights of the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau. They have been essential to agricultural development and population growth throughout China's history. But due to the tremendous drop in altitude from the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau to sea level, water in these rivers flows extremely rapidly and may easily cause flooding. The Yellow River, the world's muddiest river, is especially infamous for its destructive floods.

The Yellow River's name refers to the vast quantities of yellow silt, or loess soil, it carries. Loess formations are extremely vulnerable to erosion by water. As the Yellow River winds through the Loess Plateau in northwestern China, the raging torrent picks up yellow silt in unusually large amounts and sweeps it downstream. As the river reaches flatter areas the current slows, depositing massive amounts of yellow silt and elevating the riverbed.

Attracted by the fertile lands of the Yellow River's middle and lower reaches, the prehistoric ancestors of the Chinese people settled down along its banks to create a culture based on planting, fishing and hunting. However, these trailblazers were soon threatened by the river's severe and protracted flooding. During the early stages, they may have resided on natural or artificial uplands or led nomadic lives to avoid flooding, while also imploring supernatural forces for help. But as their population increased, they had no other choice but to strive to harness the river's enormous power.

This defining aspect of Chinese culture is reflected in one of China's oldest and most popular legends, the story of how Great Yu controlled the flood. It is said that during the Wudi or Five Emperors Period (c. 2700 to 2000 BC), severe flooding spread over the country and brought great disaster to the people. Emperor Yao appointed his minister Gun to harness the river and control the waters. However, Gun's attempts to obstruct the flood by erecting dikes and dams failed. Gun's son Yu was appointed by the next emperor, Shun (c. 2100 BC), to continue his father's work. Drawing a lesson from his father's failure, Yu noticed and took advantage of the downward flowing nature of water. He dredged canals according to the physical features of the terrain, to lead the water finally to the sea. After thirteen years of hard work, the floods subsided.

It may be difficult to separate fact from legend in the case of Great Yu, but China's long history of flood control is indisputable. The most valuable principle the ancient Chinese learned from their work with flood control was that dredging or diverting water to flow naturally downward is superior to diking or other attempts to obstruct the water's passage.

The Dujiang Canal (Dujiang Yan), the most famous water conservancy project of ancient China and the entire ancient world, is a prime example of the use of dredging and water diversion for flood control. Completed in 256 BC, approximately contemporaneous with the appearance of acupuncture, the Dujiang Canal represents the peak of ancient Chinese hydraulic engineering. It has continued to play an important role in flood control, irrigation, and shipping up to the present day. The oldest operational water conservancy project in the world, the Dujiang Canal was added to UNESCO's list of World Heritage sites in 2000.

The long history and unique mastery of flood control attained by the Chinese ancestors, exemplified by the Dujiang Canal, was a direct outgrowth of the geographical conditions they faced. Destructive floods are depicted in the myths and legends of many ancient nations, for instance, the story of Noah and the Flood in the Bible. However, there are no legends concerning flood control. This is a direct result of the physical environment of these ancient peoples.

Egypt has depended on the Nile River in both ancient times and modern times. Like a silver strip, the Nile flows across the Saharan desert, creating a corridor of life. Water is invaluable in the desert, creating oases wherever it appears. For the Egyptians, the yearly flooding of the Nile is a blessing rather than a disaster, irrigating and fertilizing the farmland of the Nile River Valley. This yearly flood is so vital to survival that the ancient Egyptians viewed it as the annual renewal of the first act of creation. If the waters did not rise high enough to innundate the surrounding farmland with water and fertile alluvial soil, drought and famine would result.

The ancient Egyptians therefore never developed flood control methods, and in fact prayed for the flood if it did not occur on time. Believing that the Nile god Hapi controlled the floods, they celebrated the yearly "Arrival of Hapi" and worshipped him with offerings, hoping that the Nile would rise up enough to provide both water and silt for the farmland.

The two rivers, the Yellow River and the Nile River, bring different gifts to their residents. While the flooding of the Nile River fertilizes farmland in Egypt directly, "China's Sorrow" inspired ancient people to create a unique healing method.

4. Clearing the Meridians with Needles: Using the laws of the Nature to cure the ills of the human body

A fundamental concept of Chinese philosophy is the "Unity of Humanity and Heaven." It implies that Humanity, Society, and Nature form an integrated system, and that each part is similarly constituted and governed by the same laws. Laozi (c. 6th century BC), the founder of Daoism, states: "Humanity is modeled upon Earth, Earth is modeled upon Heaven, Heaven is modeled upon the Dao, and the Dao is Nature itself."

This holistic model of thinking was widely applied in the field of medicine. The early Chinese physicians were philosophers as well. They believed that the processes of the human body may be understood by observing and analyzing the phenomena of the universe, and that the disorders of Humanity can be managed using the principles of Nature. Therefore they held that medical practitioners should not only study the human body, but also should "know Heaven above and Earth below."

The ancient Chinese philosopher-physicians realized that since the rivers and meridians are similar in structure, the flow of water in the rivers and the flow of Qi and blood in the meridians adhere to the same rules, and that their disorders can therefore be similarly managed. If a river course becomes silted up, the water in the river, which by nature flows downward, will overflow and result in flooding. If a meridian is obstructed, the Qi and blood it carries, which by nature flow in a circulatory path, will become stagnant and various disorders may occur. The healers of the human body therefore cleared the meridians by puncturing with needles to promote the flow of Qi and blood and cure disease, just as the healers of the Earth dredged the river courses using picks and shovels to direct the waters and control the flood.

The twelve Regular Meridians are distributed throughout the body, forming a network that links the upper and lower, and the internal and external, into an organic whole. The Qi and blood flow through the meridians to nourish the entire body. Furthermore, specific sites, called Caves of Qi (qixue) or acupoints, are located on the skin along the pathways of the meridians. These sites are often located in small depressions, usually between the muscles, tendons, bones, or in bony holes. When one is ill, the flow of Qi and blood slows, tending to stagnate at the indented sites which lead to obstruction of the meridians. Insertion of fine needles into these points can effectively promote the flow of Qi and blood and remove obstructions, promoting recovery.

Clearing the meridians of the human body with needling to allow the free circulation of the body's energy is a direct application of the central principle of effective flood control - encouraging the desired flow by clearing channels rather than by erecting barriers.

The authors of the Neijing express the correspondence between flood control and acupuncture in this way: "Those versed in the laws of Nature excavate a pond at its lowest point, so that the water within the pond can be drained off and strenuous labor avoided. According to the same logic, they dredge the meridians at the acupoints, the cave-like depressions where Qi and blood deposits. In this way, the meridians can be freed with ease."

5. Acupuncture: A true symbol of traditional Chinese culture

Rivers originate from mountains and empty into the seas. The erosion of soil at the upper reaches is the principal cause of flooding, so the most effective means of flood control is to conserve water and soil at the upper reaches. The meridians originate at the ends of limbs and end at the abdomen, chest, and head. Therefore, when using acupuncture to treat disease, headache is not treated by needling the head, but rather by needling the feet. Acupuncture, in its use of the laws of Nature to cure the ills of the human body, offers a visible expression of the concepts of Chinese holistic philosophy. The practice of needling the lower part of the body to cure the upper, and treating the outer to heal the inner is nothing less than holism made visible.

Acupuncture developed into its full form no later than the 2nd century BC, around the same time that the Chinese ancestors perfected their principles of flood control in the great Dujiang Canal water conservancy project. Just as water always flows downward, the theory and practice of acupuncture have never undergone fundamental change. Since its inception, satisfactory results have been achieved by puncturing the same sites with the same instruments.

An acupuncture needle may seem unromantic, but it represents the essence of traditional Chinese culture. Acupuncture is not merely a healing art, but a vivid symbol of thousands of years of Chinese culture.

Acupuncture is unique, original and representative. Not only does acupuncture exemplify the height of traditional Chinese culture, but its continued use over thousands of years confirms the value of the Chinese holistic principles that it embodies. The stability and vitality of acupuncture demonstrate why Chinese civilization has endured for over five thousands years.

6. Acupuncture: Over 1500 years of globalization

The worldwide dissemination of acupuncture can be divided into four stages. Acupuncture has spread to at least 140 countries and areas to date.

First Stage: By around the 6th century AD, acupuncture had begun to spread to the neighboring lands of Korea, Vietnam, and Japan. Particularly in Japan, the fundamental texts of acupuncture were imported, absorbed, and studied with great care. 541 AD: Chinese practitioners are dispatched to Korea by the Chinese government. 552 AD: The emperor of China presents Japan a copy of the Classic of Acupuncture (a section of the Yellow Emperor's Classic of Internal Medicine (Huangdi Neijing). 562 AD: Monk Zhi Cong brings the Manual of Channels and Acupoints (Mingtang Tu) and the Systematic Classic of Acupuncture and Moxibustion (Zhenjiu Jiayijing) to Korea and Japan. 754 AD: Jian Zhen, a high official of the Tang Dynasty (618-907 AD), crosses the sea to Japan to promulgate Buddhism and Chinese medicine.

Second Stage: By around the 12th century AD, acupuncture had started to reach the Middle East via the Silk Road.

Read more: Old Acupuncture and Now: You can Practice one of the Acupuncture Types

Third Stage: By the late 1500's to early 1600's, acupuncture had begun to filter into Europe by way of Japan and the Maritime Silk Road, transmitted by the Jesuits in particular.

1671 AD: Harvieu, a Jesuit monk, produces the first French translation of a work on acupuncture when he returns to France from Macao and Beijing. 1683 AD: Willem Ten Rhyne, a Dutch physician who visited Nagasaki in Japan in the early part of the 17th century, publishes Dissertatio de Arthride: Mantissa Schematica de Acupunctura, a Latin dissertation on acupuncture, in London and invents the European term "acupuncture." 1810 AD: The first recorded use of acupuncture in Europe occurs at the Paris School of Medicine when Dr. Berlioz employs it to treat a young woman suffering from abdominal pain. The Paris Medical Society describes this as a somewhat reckless form of treatment. 1823 AD: Acupuncture is mentioned in the first edition of the Lancet.

Fourth Stage: Since the early 1970s, acupuncture has spread dramatically throughout the world, catalyzed by Nixon's historic visit to China and popularized by the World Health Organization (WHO).

1971: James Reston reports on his experience with acupuncture in Beijing in the New York Times. This article represents the first news of acupuncture to reach the English-speaking citizens of the United States, or at least the vast majority who have no daily contact with Asians.

1973: The American Journal of Acupuncture starts publication, playing an important role in the clinical practice and study of acupuncture in the West.

1976: Dr. Bruce Pomeranz, a professor in the Department of Zoology at the University of Toronto, publishes an original article stating that analgesia in acupuncture is mediated by endorphins. His research is the first to utilize the Western scientific paradigm to explain why acupuncture works.

1979: An international conference on acupuncture, moxibustion, and acupuncture anesthesia sponsored by WHO is held in Beijing and attended by participants from twelve countries. Its purpose is to discuss ways in which priorities and standards for acupuncture may be determined in the areas of clinical practice, research, training, and transfer of technology. The conference draws up a provisional list of diseases that lend themselves to treatment with acupuncture.

1987: The World Federation of Acupuncture Societies (WFAS) is founded in Beijing. Today, the WFAS has 76 branches representing over 70,000 members from 43 countries and regions.

1997: The National Institute of Health (NIH) of the United States acknowledges the effectiveness of acupuncture in the treatment of a number of diseases.

1998: The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) launches a column devoted to alternative and complementary therapies.

2000: The British Medical Association (BMA) delivers a report on acupuncture and concludes that acupuncture is safe and effective for treating a number of diseases and disorders.

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