#fat-cell destroying

[rabbitmeals]

…well i’m about to have a panic attack

#boy! info i did not know! #you really are destroying yourself every fat cell you gain #ed not ed sheeran #ed not sheeren #i wanna be weightless #ftm ed #bunny.txt

[dangermousie]

2023 End of Year Post - cdrama edition

Yes, we have a lot of December left, but I don't think anything else I want to check out will air before 2024 hits (it's cdrama so caveat is - you never know.)

This is only going to cover cdramas that aired in 2023; if I watched it but it was made in a different year, it's not on the list. This was a pretty good cdrama year, all in all.

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

30 legend of twin flower - Not dignifying that drama with capital letters, as the only capital that should be associated with this is capital punishment - which is what watching this feels like.

29 Dominator of Martial Gods - sounds like a bdsm gay porn title. Would probably be better acted and written if it was.

28 Beauty of Resilience - you'd need a lot of said resilience to sit through this incoherent, barely acted mess. The thing that I remember the most other than my annoyance is all the jingly-jangly head gear on JJY. Perhaps they could have sold some of them and spent the money on a better script.

27 Divine Destiny - if you think you have too many brain cells and want to get rid of some, boy do I have a drama for you!

26 Wanru’s Journey - honestly it's probably tied with SEL - I mean it's worse but it has actors who are nowhere as well known and a fraction of SEL's budget. Still, this is a big fat nope. I will not say what I think of Aoi Rupeng's "acting" or I'd have to put money in the curse jar.

25 Snow Eagle Lord - Gulinazha's stone face, nonsense plot, terrible CGI. Take your pick as to why this is terrible.

24 Scent of Time - it was uneven but fun but then that ending was dumb enough to destroy the whole thing. Show me on the doll where common sense hurt you, makers!

23 Royal Rumors - Jeremy Tsui and Meng Ziyi are utterly wasted in this nothing trifle of a drama.

22 Legend of Anle - I had high expectations but alas. This is the drama version of color beige. There is nothing offensive about it but nothing good either. Mediocre actors are mediocre, good actors become mediocre, this is just a waste of our finite time on planet earth.

21 Romance on the Farm - it's not you, it's me in action. I can see why people would like this wholesome slice of farming family life, but it's tailored to trigger every one of my "nope" opinions.

20 Back from the Brink - if I were 12, it would be my favorite thing. I am not 12.

19 Journey of Chong Zi - objectively a terrible drama with plot holes the size of Mars and a leading lady whose face has apparently frozen when the wind changed. But I am a total sucker for the trope of upright shizun falling for his demonic disciple and going mental so here we are. Objectively, garbage, subjectively my precious!

18 Love you Seven Times - just call poor Ding Yuxi "Atlas," he carried this mess so hard.

17 Blooming Days - trashy dogblood harem fight fun throwback. It's not that great (and the fact that it was shredded doesn't help) but it's probably the last gasp of that genre for the foreseeable future, so I am grading on a curve.

16 The Starry Love - a fun fantasy where the secondary OTP stole the thunder but overall a really solid fantasy xianxia romance.

15 The Longest Promise - it could have been better - the secondaries were unbearable and there was too much of them and what they did with Alen Fang's character still gives me rage fits, but the main couple was impeccable and lovely and I rooted so hard for them.

14 Chang Feng Du/Destined - visually gorgeous, solidly acted, impeccable first half. Bland as hell second half. Win some, lose some.

13 Circle of Love - this drama is a nonsense trash heap on fire. After a typhoon hit it. It was also the most entertaining, addicting drama on this whole list.

12 Hidden Love - the sole modern on this list, this story has barely any plot but it made me care about the young, decent lovers so hard.

11 Choice Husband - starts out wacky, continues with angst and blood and happy ending. I loved it, but I've always had a soft spot for melo and schemers turning devoted.

10 Pledge of Allegiance - bromance, super solid acting, visuals, a really dark take on officials and the world. Insanely underrated.

9 Provoke - a truly fun Republican revenge and love tale, showing that short format can be wonderful.

8 Gone with the Rain - some of the secondary characters are rage-inducing (hi there, cardboard boy!) but the scheming, ruthless, vulgar FL is amazing and her slowburn with her age gap general who is delighted by her out-there-ness is great!

7 Wonderland of Love - Fei Wo Si Cun goes wholesome and the result is surprisingly entertaining. Battle couple, glorious visuals, a fast paced plot. It's the first Xu Kai drama I enjoyed in years (and he plays a rare cdrama ML it would be pretty neat to pair up with in rl.)

6 My Journey to You - that ending is infuriating (and I am OK with open endings if done properly) but what a visual feast, probably the most gloriously shot drama on this list, and that's a tough competition. Also it packs a hell of a lot of couples and familial and adversarial relationships into its slim running time; assassin lady won over by a gentle man is my favorite trope and so this is extra great.

5. Till the End of the Moon - the ending is a rage-inducing disaster for me, but this drama was the most incredibly emotionally intense, visually eye popping experience. It was deeply flawed but when it was amazing, it was like nothing else in its visuals, its characters and its narratives. It took insane risks; some paid off and some did not, but it was glorious.

4. Story of Kunning Palace - I don't often care for reverse harem stories but this one was such fun - the main OTP was glorious (strong FL, unhinged ML) but honestly everything about this was just so excellently done.

3. The Ingenious One - the most adult drama on this list. Smart protagonists, intelligent plot, emotions that felt true, this is a revenge and a mystery and found family and goes into so many directions you do not expect (Su Mengyu's PTSD after his first kill - that is something you never see in dramas, definitely not prolonged and profound - not like this.) If I was to say which drama was objectively the best on this list, as opposed to favorite, it would be this.

1 (tie) Lost You Forever 1 - this is an exquisite emotional jewel of a story about damaged people moving forward, with damage always present - their past informs their present and always will. The narrative about Xiao Yao and three very different men in her life makes me think that it's an equivalent of a neutron bomb going off right before the main narrative starts and now we are watching the survivors wander in the wreckage. This is very high fantasy setting but it's one of the most emotionally human narratives out there.

1 A Journey to Love - everything I ever wanted - assassins, ride or die adult OTP with genuine believable conflicts, great and complex secondaries, beautiful fights. Oh, and yeah Liu Shi Shi domming the hell out of every man in a ten mile radius, as she should.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It's a tie between Lost You Forever Part 1 and A Journey to Love. LYF1 is a bona fide art piece but it's only part 1 and who knows if part 2 will be any good (seeing the huge ep number cut, I have my doubts) and so it's incomplete. AJTL is an old school wuxia romance with incredibly competent, adult people in love and great cast of secondaries. I can't pick.

WORST DRAMA

romance of twin flower - this is a drama that should not exist. If I could hex everyone involved with it, I would. It's a terrible, stupid, shrill, badly acted drama to start with, but where it really is catapulted into stratosphere of horror is that is took my very favorite non-danmei web novel of all time, a smart and complicated tale with incredible protagonists and turned it into that barftastic abomination. Peng Xiao Ran kept making horrible drama after horrible drama but I kept giving her a chance because of Goodbye My Princess but after this disaster, I've had to accept GMP was a fluke and she is on my "if she's in it, I am out” list. Ding Yuxi is not that far yet (his performance in Seven Lifetimes was the one thing carrying that mess afloat) but he's on freaking thin ice. Anyway, I like to pretend this drama does not exist.

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

It was hard because there were so many I loved this year - Deng Wei's traumatized, gentle Seventeen from LYF1 (if someone told me I'd swoon and weep for a character played by Deng Wei, I'd have told them to examine their brains asap), Liu Yuning's incredibly capable, deadly, contained Ning Yuanzhou from AJTL, Zhang Linghe's unhinged Xie Wei from SoKP, Chen Xiao's schemer with a heart Yun Xiang from TIO.

But ultimately, it couldn't be anyone else but Luo Yunxi as Tantai Jin/Demon God/Ming Ye/Cang Jiumin in Till the End of the Moon. He was everything - a demon, a saint, a martyr, a monster, a tormented abuse victim, a savior, joyful, unhinged, smart, pitiable. It was the cdrama performance of the year for me. Luo Yunxi even in a mediocre role is impressive but in a complex (series of) role(s) designed for his strengths, he is a force of nature.

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Xiao Yao (Lost You Forever Part 1). Once again, there were runner ups - Bai Lu's smart a little evil FL in Kunning, the gloriously unhinged assassin domme Liu Shi Shi in AJTL, Esther Yu's assassin longing for a different life in MJTY etc etc etc. But Xiao Yao's damaged, difficult, very self-aware woman stole my heart. I was skeptical going in because I haven't enjoyed a Yang Zi performance in a long time, but she was the wounded beating soul of this incredible drama.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Where do we start? How about all of Seventeen's (LYF1) monster family? His brother, who tortured him for years physically and emotionally to such a degree his body is a horror map and his personality is permanently altered because "mommy liked you better." Psycho mother who created a situation where the kids were going to turn on each other and "let's get my grandson raped" grandma. Where is a well-placed meteorite when you need one.

FAVORITE SHIP

Xiao Yao/Seventeen, LYF1. Yes, a ship of characters played by Yang Zi and Deng Wei is my favorite. Leave me alone, I am on my tenth helping of crow already. They are both incredibly damaged, barely functioning survivors who find what they need in the other - he finds a savior and someone who sees him as a man and rebuilds himself around her and she finds someone who will always put her first and only, and subsume himself in her. Is it healthy? No. Does it make sense for them and is it making them slowly functional? Yes.

Runner up: Ren Ruyi/Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL - two adults, so competent, so chemistry full. She has so much damage and so little normalcy but is so strong and he is oddly gentle (in between murders) and incredibly self-reflective. They are each other's mirrors and I love them.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Su Mingyu/Ke Menglan, The Ingenious One - the idealistic merchant who wants to join jianghu until he sees its horrors firsthand and a slave entertainer who wants security but decides she wants him more. They are gorgeous and glorious and wholesome and I adore them.

Runner up: Liu Gong Quan/Ming Zhu, The Ingenious One - that drama was a shippy gift, especially impressive considering it wasn't even romance-centric. He's the officer who has to bring down her treasonous father but loves her. Delicious.

Another runner up is Chao Feng/Qian Kui, the angelic good girl and the scheming bad boy in The Starry Love. They stole the drama from the main OTP for me.

NOTP

Scent of Time endgame. What the hell was even that. It made NO sense.

FAVORITE SCENE

So many good scenes this year - Tantai Jin taking apart Li Susu in prison in TTEOTM, the OTP fighting in perfect sync and insane rhythm in the gorge battle in AJTL, Chen Ruoxuan's character stopping the execution in Pledge, Yan Lin's coming of age in Kunning, the poison/antidote "gamble" in MJTY, Cang Xuan detoxing in LYF1. But I think ultimately, me being who I am, my favorite scene is Xiao Yao kissing Seventeen's damaged, scarred knee to show he is in no way inferior for her. AAAAA!

In terms of pure jaw dropping visuals tho nothing will ever beat Ming Ye’s battle against the Devil God in TTEOTM.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Ning Yuanzhou, AJTL. He's sexy as hell (that height, that way he moves in battle) but he's also so incredibly competent, so adult, so self-reflective and so attracted to a woman for her strength. He also gets whumped on the reg. Anyway, my hormones are ready.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Gong Yuanzhi (My Journey to You) - I loved the unhinged, brocon poison boy. He was everything. Also Yan Lin (Kunning) - talk about sunshine; I totally got why all these people felt they needed to save him.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

My Journey to You - what the HELL was that ending?

NEEDS SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

legend of twin flower - that is, stab it with scissors like it stabbed the novel until it's dead.

TOO MANY SCISSORS TAKEN TO IT

Till the End of the Moon - they clearly cut stuff to fit into the new regs about runtime and it made the last 1/5 rather abrupt. Gimme!

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

The emperor cannot be irredeemable. WTF, China, you are a communist country!

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

This is the year of a ML who yearns to be dommed by his FL. Long may it continue.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

The Legend of Anle - the novel had a great plot, the cast were all actors I either enjoy a lot or somewhat and we got - whatever that soggy piece of wonderbread toast was.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

LYF1 - I only checked out to mock because nobody could explain the story to me and nobody in the cast did anything I like either ever or in years. And then I fell utterly and completely in love and had to eat so much delicious crow.

2023 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

Ancient Love Song is the only one on that list. It looks really good, I just need to brace myself.

BEST NON-2023 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2023

The Imperial Doctoress - best slowburn and pining and glorious character development and adult leads.

MOST ANTICIPATED

Anticipating any nonaired cdrama is a mug's game but if they air, I will definitely check out all the Fox Matchmaker dramas, LYF2, JoL2 and The Last Immortal. If Prisoner of Beauty ever is allowed out of the vault (dubious), it goes on the list too.

#cdrama #lost you forever #a journey to love #till the end of the moon #my journey to you #choice husband #provoke #the starry love #the ingenious one #wonderland of love #story of kunning palace #gone with the rain

[tojisdolliee]

tell us something about good friend!Isagi, who share his girlfriend with his friends! He lets them use her however they want and at any time. Sometimes he just watch while he records them, seeing how Bachira, Nagi and Rin destroy her, other days he only sees from his cell phone through a video call, when he is far from her and cannot please her, so he sends one/two/all of them to do it for him! But his favorites are when the 4 of them fill her up, first taking turns and then using her all at the same time, for hours and hours 💝 He just loves to share! That's what friends are for, right?

friends who hang together, bang together ! 💓

You and Isagi have known each other for quite some time now, in middle school he introduced you to his friends and you've all been real close ever since! So close that now since youre in college Isagi has had his face between your thighs more than you can count! You love how his tongue feels on your clit n you just cant get enough of the fat tip of his perfect cock beating up your cervix, but at the same time you looove sitting on Bachiras perfect face and giving Nagi sloppy blowjobs, and god nothing beats the way that Rin eyed you down one night when you two were alone, him complimenting every single curve and ounce of chub on your body with his slender fingers. You pray that Isagi doesn't find out how much you love slutting yourself out for your best friends, but he already knows. On the days that Rin, Bachira and Nagi get together to gang bang you, Isagi sets up a little hidden camera that gives him a perfect veiw of your aching cunt. Once you find out hes in on it youre crying and apologizing , which is silly Isagi thinks, he loves sharing you. After that he starts video chatting you in the middle of getting your pussy ate by Bachira or while youre getting railed by Rin, just to hear your cute moans and how good his friends are making you feel. But eventually Isagi gets tired of watching and joins in on destroying you. "So fuckin good" Bachira mumbles while his tongue laps at the bud sitting between your swollen lips. He tries to pull you back onto him but youre too busy trying to take more of Nagi into your mouth, the way he lets out muffled "ooh's" and "aah's" at the way you're sucking the life out of him is making you even wetter, providing Bachira with even more hunger. Once they finish, Isagi and Rin treat double teaming you like a challenge, they both shove their huge cocks into your little hole, arguing among themselves about who you like better "She likes me more, your dicks too small" Isagi spits at Rin, to which Rins only response is a thumb to your clit, rubbing it and fucking into you until youre squeezing them both so tight they can hardly move. You love them all so much, you could never choose, and they wouldn't have it any other way 💓

#anime smut #blue lock smut #isagi x reader #bachira x reader #nagi x reader #rin x reader #rin itoshi #bachira meguru #nagi seishiro #isagi yoichi

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#357

“Not finding much activity in there?  Didn’t think so.  I don’t know how many dicks you are going to find hanging out in the toilet there.  Not too many men up here alone, let alone men that are willing to slide their cocks under the partition there.  Don’t look surprised.  I’ve been driving trucks all my life.  I can spot a faggot hungry for a real man’s cock when I see him…. 

“You can stop looking for my semi; it ain’t up here.  No, I’m up here in a camper.  My wife and two sons are making their way down to the bottom.  They’ll be gone for the day.  There is no way I was going to even attempt it.  I’ve done it before many years ago.  It holds no premium.

“So I am stuck up here bored shitless.  The cell service up here is shit, so watching porn and jacking off is pointless.  You wanna come into my camper and take care of my needs?

“Good.  One thing you need to know is that when I pick up a faggot at one of the rest areas, I am picking up a faggot, not some gay boy.  Same thing’s going to happen here.  You are here to take care of my needs, not yours.  I’m up here alone for three to four more hours at least, but it will probably more like five or six.  I don’t need to have some faggot bailing after cumming in the first five minutes.  You got that?

“Faggot don’t look at me like that.  You don’t want me to smack you again, you better answer me with more respect.  Now I asked, ‘You got that?’

“Look, I ain’t your dad.  I already got two sons.  Address me as ‘Sir.’  One final time, you got that?

“Better.  This is my camper.  Hold on.  I need to get my rim seat from the back of the Silverado….  Yup, you are going to spend time getting close with my shithole. 

“Get inside and strip.  My family thinks I use this in my semi for when I have to take a dump when I’m out in the middle of nowhere, which is why we have it here.  It never gets used for that.  I use it on all the faggots I bring into my semi though.  

“Here, put these leather cuffs on….  Faggot, you will keep getting your faggot face slapped if you hesitate like that….  And that slap is for forgetting to thank me for slapping you in the first place.

“Good, now lay on the floor, wrists above your head.  Good.  The D-rings on the cuffs are big enough to take a rim seat leg through.  Like that.  So now, when I plant my big fat trucker ass on that seat, your hands are useless.  You won’t be able to play with your pecker.  That’s my toy now.  It’s amazing how a swat to the balls will keep a faggot’s tongue focused on my shithole.

“Look up at my fat ass and its crack.  That’s my Grand Canyon.  And just like my sons, you will be spending a few hours in it.  Get that tongue ready, cause here it comes.

“…I don’t feel a tongue….  Faggot! I will hit those balls twice as hard next time.  Of course, I’m not clean.  I took a dump in the stall next to you.  Didn’t you hear?  Typical of public restrooms, there was no toilet paper.  That’s when I saw your foot tapping.  I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to use your tongue.

“Something tells me these balls are going to be black and blue if not destroyed by the time I am done with you.  Which is it faggot?  Your balls or your tongue?...  Ahh, that feels good.”

[piggyinthemiddle]

Personally, I want to get you to a doctor just to see how destroyed your body is. I want to see an x-ray of your gigantic fatty liver, I want to see how clogged up your arteries are, how useless your heart is under all that lard.

I want to know your blood pressure, since surely your heart struggling to pump your thickened-with-sugar blood through your choked out veins would result in a fantastically high LDL, maybe a nice, round triple digit number starting with 2!

Through the doctor's concerned speech about your habits and how they need to be fixed, all you can think about is another few pounds of lard being drained into your huge gut when you get home. Ruining your organs even more, until they literally can't function under hundreds of pounds of pure hog fat crushing them, engorged fat cells swallowing them and filling them, all the while you're still being the greedy hog you are.

All that hog jelly, all that lard piled onto your body, will fuel your desire to overeat like the livestock you are until your heart can't work under the weight of your greedy hog mind.

And you'll love every second of the last deep fried meal you try to cram past your swollen lips.

.....really had to share this gem. These asks are so damn hot, I'm never ever getting tired of em.. 🥵🥵

What I'd give to have someone do that to me.. 🐷

#death feederism #death feedism #death feedee belly #death feedist #death feedee #porker #morbid feedee #fattened up #morbid feederism #extreme feedist #extreme feederism #fat piggy #glorifying obesity #sexy health issue #ask porkypig

[dee-morris]

An Overdue Rant and a Christmas Fic

I wrote this Hallmark AU last December. It was supposed to be a jokey little one-shot, but man it ate my brain. My average daily word count is 500-1k words a day, and I think I was doing 2k to 5k a day until it was done. I couldn't fuckin stop, and it was glorious.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43616245/chapters/109670092

This is very important to me, because I came to fanfic like a dying traveler comes to an oasis. After the pandemic I became deeply depressed and I developed chronic writer's block. Marketing was an uphill slog, and not being able to go out and socialize at events made it unbearable. When I did go out, the anxiety I felt about COVID made it not fun. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to write again.

Writing fanfiction was a welcome reprieve from all that: no deadlines! No SEO! No depressingly tiny royalty statements! Positive reinforcement with no dollar signs attached! So it was nice, it was fun, but I didn't really get my groove back until I wrote HallMark. That wasn't just fun. That was drive. That was passion. And it was glorious.

After it was done and posted, I couldn't forget about it. I had to know what it was about that story that grabbed me by the brain cells like that. So I went back and read it again, and I read the comments (thank you all kind people you're the best), and I realized that it was about Aziraphale and Crowley, but it was really about my feelings towards how children are raised.

*I'm not going to completely spoil the fic here, but feel free to go read it before we get further bc I'm about to discuss some thematic elements.*

Crowley is raising the Antichrist to be the destroyer of worlds on the surface, but underneath it he cares about the world, and he cares about Adam too. And that is the side of him that Adam responds to, and why he turns out the way he does. And that's what parents don't understand about children. They are only kind of listening to your words. What they respond to, and what nurtures them, is your behavior towards them and towards the world you're raising them in. If you tell your kid that Jesus loves everyone and we should help the poor, but you vote for people who will cut welfare bc you think you'll get a tax break and a new boat, your kid sees you. If you tell your kid that it's a sin to judge others but you glare at a tall woman going into the ladies room bc you think she might be trans, your kid sees you. They might grow up to be an asshole or they might grow up to think that you're one, but either way you lose.

And if you tell your kid that his destiny is to destroy the world and that living things are fit only to be ground under his heels, but you make him sandwiches and worry about him when he's out of your sight and buy him stupid Christmas crap because it makes him happy, your kid might not turn out as evil as you thought.

(don't actually tell your kid he's the Antichrist, btw, this fic is hyperbole for symbolic thematic purposes and not a parenting guide)

Anyway, my point is if you love your kid and treat him right, if you treat other people right, and give him a stable home and maybe a dog if you can afford it, he'll probably turn out pretty much okay. The rest is just flavor.

Parents stress too much about things that don't matter, but it's not our fault. You have to run the gauntlet a couple of times before you can filter out stuff that matters from stuff that doesn't, because the books and guides and parenting classes will just try to scare you about everything. Let me assure you that your baby does not give two shits if you feed with breast or bottle. But your child will remember whether you were happy, and whether you took pleasure in their presence in your life.

So what sucked me in about this fic was the reversal of what I've seen in the real world. My brain conjured a fantasy of someone who's a good parent despite themselves, instead of a bad parent with a church habit and a fat bank account. Of course I had to bring that fantasy into the world. It's how things become real.

#fanfiction writer #fanfiction #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable parents #parenting #children #ao3

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99

The Prophecy Of Imortal Fire 3

"You what?!" Elias practically yelled. "He Stabbed me!" "Yeah like 10 years ago! Give or take! Why would he lie now?! Listen, I've met his father. Not a nice guy, and not easy to beat in a fight. Even if Alistar was doing this for his father, he wouldn't have any chance against him in combat!" Ella argued. "Ella... he almost killed you! He kidnapped children, and your father.... he killed me for a hot second! He called you names, gave you trauma, hurt you! Broke you! How can you trust that?" Elias asked. "I don't! I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, but right now we don't have a choice!" Ella answered. Eli looked over at Alistar, glaring before his eyes softened. He sighed. "Fine. He can't wield a sword with a broken arm anyways," he muttered. "Youd.. be surprised...." Alistar replied, earning some looks from the group. "Oh.. god, no! I learned my lesson! Besides i-...." alistar trailed off as he glanced at Ella and Eli's kids in the other room. "I wouldn't take a parent from their kids," he muttered. "No, but you'd take a kid from her parents," Loreley spat. "... I'm sorry," Alistar spoke. Eli scoffed. "Dont say it to us," he muttered, glancing at Ella. Alistar looked down, embarrassed. Eli rolled his eyes. "Coward," he muttered before walking out of the building. Everyone followed. Except for Ella. Ella hesitated. "We were friends you know...." she stated. ".. I know," Alistar replied. "What in the world happened to you after we stopped contacting one another that day?" Ella asked. "Too much to fit into one conversation....." He whispered before looking at her. "I'm sorry. What I did was selfish, and wrong, and shitty. You didn't deserve that.... and fucking hell you are NOT fat. You never have been. And if I could go back in time, calling you that would be the first thing I changed," Alistar ranted. Ella kept a distance between the two. "I did what I did because I was in love with you....but my father taught me that love was weak.... and seeing you choose someone over me... broke me... and it reinstated the fact that love was weakness.... so I thought I could marry you by force..... but i..... I shouldn't have thought that," Alistar stated, tears brimming his eyes again. "Alistar.. I wasn't in love with you. You were my friend.... how could you have possibly thought that doing what you did would change that?" Ella asked, crossing her arms. "I don't know," his voice cracked. "I don't know what I was thinking.... I just made choices and i...... God I regret every single one," Alistar muttered. "I'm not gonna ask for your forgiveness.. cause I realize its too late.... but please.... don't let my mistakes create a leeway for my father to come in and Destroy the life You've built," Alistar stated. Ella stood there for a few moments before walking closer to him and hugging him. "I can't forgive what youve done.... not yet at least..... but.... I believe in the fact that you're telling the truth," Ella sighed. Alistar let out a breath. "Thank you...... I'm so so sorry.... I-I didnt..... I shouldn't've..... I'm sorry," he all but whispered as he tried not to cry.

........ The group as a whole stood in the dining area, a giant map on the table. "So if we can destroy his forces from the inside, we can possibly win... but how are we gonna get in?" Loreley asked. "Theres a passageway through the dungeons. I found it when I was 10 when he locked me in my cell after breaking a vase. I made it myself from a small hole in the wall," Alistar replied, pointing the area out to the group. Mia glanced at him. "How many times did he put you down there for you to make an entire crawlspace?" She asked. Alistar raised an eyebrow as he calculated. "Uh.... maybe 5 times a week. 2 if I stayed out of trouble," He answered. The group looked at him. ".. what?" He asked. "Okay, so we'll go through there. Do you have armor?" Ella asked, turning to alistar. "No. Just this," he stated as he gestured to his shirt and pants. "Hm okay. Elias will fir you for some armor later," Ella stated. "What so he can stab me with it?" Eli asked. "Elias," Ella scolded. Eli sighed. "Fine. We'll do it now so I can get it over with. Cmon," Alistar gulped as he followed Eli outside.

"Lose the shirt," Eli stated as he picked up some already made armor. "P-pardon?" Alistar asked. "The armor won't fit right if your measurements aren't correct and your shirt is too baggy," Elias stated, an unamused look on his face. "O-okay but can't we just-" "Oh my god do you want me to help or not?" Eli asked, clearly frustrated. Alistar sighed. Eli rolled his eyes, turning to grab a measuring stick. His eyes widened at the sight of all the scared on Alistar's back and chest, blending into smaller ones on his arms. "Woah.... what... happened?" Eli asked, almost forgetting what alistar did. Almost. Alistar sighed as he hung his shirt over a chair in the hut. "After my mom died, my dad thought waking me up by having people whip me was a wonderful idea... and when he and I dueled, he would stab me," Alistar replied. Elias' eyebrows furrowed. "You're really messed up, aren't you?" Eli asked. Alistar chuckled. "Yeah... I am...." Eli gave a small genuine smile before walking to work on Alistar's armor.

[anarchywoofwoof]

As you learn a new skill or your brain intakes further information, a complex dance of chemicals, cells, and physiological reactions begins.

An insulating layer forms around each nerve cell in the brain and spinal cord called Myelin. As you learn or begin to understand information, the myelination process reinforces new neural pathways. Myelin forms a thick sheath of protein and fat that acts in the way that an insulator around an electrical cable would, strengthening and speeding electrical signaling in the nerve pathways that connect one neuron to the next.

In addition to the formation of myelin, novel experiences cause a rush of Dopamine, a neurotransmitter, in the brain’s ventral tegmental area. From there, it’s released into the prefrontal cortex. Dopamine is the chemical that mediates pleasure and, thus, is often referred to as the “pleasure chemical,” but this is a misnomer, and the assertion is flawed; dopamine doesn’t actually produce pleasure. It does, however, reinforce feelings of pleasure by connecting sensations of pleasure to certain behaviors. 

It is, nonetheless, an indisputable fact that a wealth of dopamine has been expended, afforded, and consumed in this journey. And it is no less accurate that the nerve cells within my mind are as well reinforced as the most secure of bank vaults. They remain securely guarded, cased in myelin as they travel through vast regions of what some might call superfluous space, occupied by names and dates and facts and figures stored away haphazardly like dusty manila folders, crammed into overflowing taupe squares, stacked thrice tall and teetering ominously.

This, of course, a parable to the chaos that rests somewhere between the frames of my eyeglasses and my central nervous system.

But standing – and note, I do mean standing, as nary a Midwestern gale or fascist shoulder could upend me – here on the far side of a disaster twice removed, I can make a declaration of sorts:

“To be optimistic in such exceptionally pessimistic times is a unique, beautiful, and rewarding insanity.”

Do not mistake this for placidity or stubborn positivity in the face of a wholly negative reality. It is accurate and valid that you will find yourself in moments that do not warrant a positive perspective. In these moments, the key is empathy, care, validation, love, support, and rebuilding when the time is right. There is a warranted time to despair.

Despair; “to be overcome by a sense of futility or defeat.”

Despair naturally destroys courage and stops all effort, yes, but what lies underneath could very well be a kind of courage and intense activity founded upon the sense that there is nothing worse to be feared. Quoting George Eliot, “What we call our despair is often only the painful eagerness of unfed hope.” To be greeted with these feelings in our darkest times, when the understanding that there is no recourse of action left but to endure, is to be wrapped in the embrace of a love whose absence was largely unrecognized.

Thus, I look to hope, eager and famished, seeking respite. And in my quest for hope, I find all I need and more. When I turn to myself and take inventory of the tools I have at my disposal and the control I have over my own destiny, I am at peace. The choices are not easy; the road is not paved in gold, but what road is? And so I forge ahead in the name of those too tired to carry on, knowing the tacit agreement must be fulfilled, that we must do it for ourselves & thus, each other.

#text #bork bork thoughts

[yurimage]

National Eating Disorder Awareness Week - Diabulimia

CW // Disordered eating

(click for better quality)

Transcript Below

Diabulimia- Diabulimia is the informal term for an eating disorder specific to type 1 diabetics in which someone with the disorder intentionally restricts their insulin in order to lose weight. Although not listed as an official diagnosis in the DSM-V, it is an incredibly prevalent and dangerous eating disorder.

Type 1 Diabetes- Type 1 diabetes (T1D) is an autoimmune disorder of the pancreas. Typically, the pancreas secretes insulin, a hormone that takes glucose from the blood and moves it into cells in order to be used as energy. However, in T1D, the body attacks itself and destroys the cells that secrete insulin. Without insulin, glucose from food sits around in the blood and builds up– causing a condition called hyperglycemia.¹ There’s currently no cure for T1D, so patients with the condition need to take insulin as injections or delivered through an insulin pump. T1D is irreversible, and life long, so patients need to take insulin for the rest of their lives.¹ T1D and type 2 diabetes (T2D) are not the same. In T2D, the pancreas still has insulin secreting cells; however, the body can’t properly use the insulin due to a high level of insulin resistance.² Because of the differences between T1D and T2D, diabulimia can only occur in those with T1D.

Insulin Restriction- In the absence of insulin, glucose can’t enter cells and instead stays in the bloodstream. Eventually, the body attempts to flush out excess glucose through urine– leading to severe dehydration. Since cells can’t get energy from glucose in this scenario, they instead try to get it from other sources– the body’s muscles and fat stores begin to be broken down for energy. This state is biologically the same as starvation as calories from food in the form of glucose are leaving the body before being used. The loss of calories and breakdown of fat and muscle, coupled with the loss of water weight from dehydration, lead to rapid weight loss.³ In diabulimia, insulin is restricted intentionally with the goal to lose weight.

DKA- In the short term, diabulimia leads to frequent urination and severe dehydration, immense fatigue and nausea and vomiting.³ If left untreated, these high blood sugars will eventually lead to a condition called Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA). DKA occurs when fat is broken down in the body. The breakdown of fat releases acidic compounds called ketones. Eventually, with enough build up of ketones, the blood itself becomes acidic and may eventually lead to coma or death.⁴ DKA must be treated in a hospital setting; and as such, is often the way that diabulimics are first treated for their eating disorders.

Health Consequences- Consistently high blood sugars will eventually lead to severe diabetic complications such as neuropathy (nerve damage), retinopathy (damage to the retinas in the eyes) or kidney disease.³ While long term health effects like eye damage and kidney disease are already common complications for those with T1D, diabulimia significantly increases the risk for these complications. A Japanese study found that insulin restriction was the most significant factor in developing retinopathy and kidney disease; meaning that these complications were more strongly correlated with insulin restriction than other factors such as how long someone had been diagnosed with T1D.⁵

Prevalence and Risk- When compared to girls without T1D, those in the same age range that were diagnosed with T1D were around 2.4 times more likely to have an eating disorder ⁶ One study that surveyed 112 teens with T1D found that around 27% restricted insulin dosages ⁷ An 11-year study found that those with T1D who restricted insulin had a risk of death 3.2 times higher than diabetics who did not ⁸

Why I'm Making This- Accessing treatment for diabulimia is incredibly difficult. When I first began to look for inpatient eating disorder treatment, I was turned down from every residential and inpatient facility in my state. The only reason I got into a residential that time was because my mom is a very determined and very convincing woman (she threatened to sue them). And that isn’t even accounting for the lack of diabulimia specific treatment. My last time in treatment, the hospital I was at recommended I enter inpatient; however, there ended up being only a few inpatient centers with diabulimia experience in my country-- the closest one rejected me because they couldn’t find an endocrinologist to oversee my diabetes care. This lack of treatment is especially dangerous with how severe the health consequences of diabulimia are. In fact, since beginning work on this infographic, I found out I may have kidney damage. Yes, as a result of diabulimia. I also have permanent eye damage, neuropathy, and I’m finally (3 months after leaving the hospital) recovering from the short term health consequences of my disorder. And even I am luckier than a lot of other diabulimics. With a disease so prevalent, and so, so dangerous, you’d think there would be enough support in treating it. But there isn’t. Largely I think, because most people simply don’t know that it exists. My only hope with making this infographic is that we can change that.

Sources:

1- “What is Type 1 Diabetes?” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Accessed January 31, 2024. https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/basics/what-is-type-1-diabetes.html.

2- “Type 2 Diabetes.” Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Accessed January 31, 2024. https://www.cdc.gov/diabetes/basics/type2.html.

3- “Diabulimia.” Cleveland Clinic. Accessed January 31, 2024. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22658-diabulimia.

4- “Diabetic Ketoacidosis.” Mayo Clinic. Accessed February 11, 2024. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/diabetic-ketoacidosis/symptoms-causes/syc-20371551

5- Takii, Masato, et. al.. “The Duration of Severe Insulin Omission Is the Factor Most Closely Associated with the Microvascular Complications of Type 1 Diabetic Females with Clinical Eating Disorders.” International Journal of Eating Disorders 41, no. 3 (April 2008): 259–64. doi:10.1002/eat.20498.

6- Jones, Jennifer M. “Eating Disorders in Adolescent Females with and without Type 1 Diabetes: Cross Sectional Study.” BMJ: British Medical Journal (International Edition) 320, no. 7249 (June 10, 2000): 1563. doi:10.1136/bmj.320.7249.1563.

7- Markowitz JT, et. al.. “Brief Screening Tool for Disordered Eating in Diabetes: Internal Consistency and External Validity in a Contemporary Sample of Pediatric Patients with Type 1 Diabetes.” Diabetes Care 33, no. 3 (March 2010): 495–500. doi:10.2337/dc09-1890.

8- Goebel-Fabbri, Ann E., et. al.. “Insulin Restriction and Associated Morbidity and Mortality in Women with Type 1 Diabetes.” Diabetes Care 31, no. 3 (March 2008): 415–19. doi:10.2337/dc07-2026.

#type 1 diabetes #type 1 diabetic #diabulimia #national eating disorder awareness week #neda #eating disorder recovery #diabulimia recovery #mental health #mental health awareness #national eating disorder awareness #diabetes #i tried to make it like an infographic but i write too much and so it's more like a powerpoint... oops... #anyways idk i just wanted more info about this to be out here so i made this #please reblog it would mean a lot <3 #zelle.txt

[ravings-of-a-mad-scientist]

Dumb and very esoteric chemiball comic about the mechanism of organic mercury poisoning

Selenium (Se) is a necessary micronutrient. It’s involved in the amino acid selenocysteine (Sec), which is like cysteine (Cys) but instead of sulfur, it’s selenium. Selenocysteine is involved in selenoenzymes, which are important antioxidants.

Oxidants are highly reactive oxygen radicals that are sometimes accidentally made by the mitochondria. They really like to oxidize and destroy things like proteins, fats, and DNA. As it turns out, we need those things to not be destroyed.

Antioxidants are important because they’re useless and don’t do anything important other than be tempting targets for oxidants. They take the hit so you don’t have to. (though knowing biochemistry, I’m sure that most of them actually do everything, because it would just make too much sense otherwise.)

Organic mercury poisoning is bad because it permanently inhibits your selenoenzymes. This leaves the cell vulnerable to oxidation which is particularly bad for your brain cells.

In this case, methyl mercury (Hg-CH3) has previously bonded to the sulfur in Cysteineball and has now come near the selenocysteine ball.

Fun fact: the covalent binding affinities between mercury and selenium are about A MILLION times greater than with sulfur. I’m not exaggerating, it’s literally cited as ONE MILLION TIMES GREATER. So yeah, Mercuryblob immediately jumps to seleniumball and basically never lets go.

Sources: Ralston, N. & Azenkeng, Alexander & Raymond, Laura. (2012). Mercury-Dependent Inhibition of Selenoenzymes and Mercury Toxicity. 10.1007/978-1-4614-2383-6_5. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/278702735_Mercury-Dependent_Inhibition_of_Selenoenzymes_and_Mercury_Toxicity

Ralston NVC, Raymond LJ. Mercury’s neurotoxicity is characterized by its disruption of selenium biochemistry. Biochim Biophys Acta Gen Subj. 2018 Nov;1862(11):2405-2416. doi: 10.1016/j.bbagen.2018.05.009. Epub 2018 May 9. PMID: 29753115.

#chemiballs #science #chemistry #biology #medicine #mercuryblob #seleniumball #carbonball #hydrogenball #I made this comic because i lost a bet #sorry i have bad handwriting

[zombietoilets2234]

I don't know how it happened. I was walking down the road late one Friday night after looking for this club my mate had recommended. After several hours of looking I'd given it up as a stupid joke and was returning to my car. Boy it was cold out my nipples could cut glass. I was getting some pretty funny looks from the local population as I was wearing nothing, but some tight leather pants and a mesh net shirt. I was getting really nervous and started to walk faster. Finally I reached my car and unlocked the door shivering I started the car and turned on the heat rubbing my hands together and trying to get warm again if I hadn't been so busy warming up I would have noticed the man in the back seat. Just as I looked up he reached up and put a wet rag on my face it smelled horrible like stale piss I struggled like mad but he was so strong I started panicking as the lights from the head lights started to get dim and with one finally jerk I passed out cold. After I don't know how long I woke up in what I could only guess as a hospital room because all I could see was bright florescent lights I tried to raise my head and look around but something was wrong I couldn't move an inch. Panicking I took stock of my surroundings I was on a table cold and hard. My eyes got used to the bright lights and I noticed a large laser looking instrument that's when I heard the soft but steady sound of someone walking nearby. Look who's finally awake and I thought you sleep right though you procedure you see you're a lucky one you get to be turned into the very thing you were looking for tonight. I looked at him in confusion but couldn't speak all I could get out was a muffled gagging. Ahh don't try to talk son. Your tongue has been fused to the bottom of your jaw. So as I was saying you are going to be turned into the very thing you wanted. You see my employer has paid a good deal of money to replace his as it got destroyed by his Husband. Looking confused you start to scream at him but no words or sound came out. He laughed, still confused. Well your going to be turned into an ass boy with your mouth being the ass hole aren't you pleased. You'll get to constantly taste ass and get face fucked but don't worry you'll enjoy it. Your ears start to ring as he says that. This can't be true what the fuck is he mad or something. He steps closer holding a syringe he places it your arm and you start to feel all tingly and happy. There I've given you some pain meds to help as this will be painful this laser will rearrange you cells to fit the shape and purpose of your new position by this time tomorrow you be nothing but ass fat and ass lips. you'll keep you tongue and nose but they won't be noticeable for all intensive purposes you'll be a sphincter. He starts the machine and points it at your face and turns it on. You feel a burning sensation like hot wax as you slowly start to reform into your new shape what feels like days takes only minutes and there you sit all senses are near your mouth. What you don't know yet is your already attached to your new host with such precision that you're unrecognizable from the back. There you go Wyatt how do you like your new ass. It's perfect, doc dead ringer. I'm glad, well before you can leave you will need to take a shit for me so I can tell if everything is working fine. Do you need to shit Wyatt sir. Now that you mentioned it yes doc, really bad. The doctor leads him to the bathrooms. Ok I'll need to watch to make sure everything works right but go ahead and sit down. Wyatt sits on the toilet. You noticed a change in pressure around your lips and can smell fresh air but something else is coming. you feel it slowly build up behind your cheeks as Wyatt pushes and bears down your lips start to be pushed apart and you start to smell shit as it comes out slowly you can feel it dragging over your tongue you can taste it. You know nothing but that taste that's when you finally realize you are an ass you are nothing but a shit hole and you love it this is home.

Thank you for reading this is my first story I've ever written. please be honest and tell me your opinions. This is my fantasy and something I want done to me.

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?

Warning for cursed smut and improper use of magnets aka sounding

You heard a noise and noticed that your phone had went off. You checked it and saw that it was your boyfriend messaging you on discord. "Hey kitten, I was just looking at the green m&m and thought of you. Do you want to be daddies little pogcham tonight?" You eagerly responded back "Sure babe. I'm coming over to your place right now." Your phone went off again. "Don't forget to bring Doritos and mountain dew. Being the epic gamer that I am, I'm in constant need of gamer fuel." You decided to stop by Wal-Mart on the way.

You eventually arrived at Monsoon's place.  You knocked on his door and he soon opened it. "Welcome to my gamer pad! Oh, you brought the Doritos, thanks babe." You closed the door and then watched him sit down in one of those chairs designed for gaming. He then took out a vape pen. "How about a smoke?" You passed on the offer. "Alright, more for me." He then took a fat rip on the juul. "What a minute, this is red phosphorus." You were sure that vape pens had destroyed what little brain cells your boyfriend had left.

You sat across from him on a bean bag chair. "So any plans for tonight?" He stroked his metallic chin. "I was going to pwn noobs on fortnight but now that you're here, I have a better plan." He detached his arms so that he could pick you up and bring you to his bedroom. You noticed all the posters of the joker. "I take it you're a fan?"

He soon seemed like he was deep in thought. "We live in a society. Gamers rise up." You were confused. "Memes! The DNA of the soul! Let me show you." He went on spotify and selected Miracles by insane clown posse. He then sat next to you on the bed. "Fire, water, air and dirt. Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?" You had no clue what was happening. "Babe, you have electromagnesis powers." He blushed. "Oh yeah."

"How about I give you a demonstration?" He detached his hands and sent them flying. They soon pinned your wrists to the bed. "I need to show you something." He took of his helmet. On his forehead in place of a cyborg barcode were the words "DAMAGED" in large letters. You were turned on. "That's so hot." He chuckled. "Glad to hear you think so."

He climbed on top of you and gave you butterfly kisses. Or he would have if he still had eye sockets. He had small tubes protrude outwards so it was like being felt up by a snail. He called his hands back. "Let's see what we"re working with!" He took off your pants and noticed that you were wearing a thong with nothing but a minion on it. He then took them off. "That reminds me, I'll need to send these to Karen on Facebook. We'll see who has the better minion memes now!"

He saw your large member and then was reminded of his beloved Steve Rambo. He placed his hand on your length and began to quote one of said man's films. "It gets bigger when I pull on it." You couldn't believe that he was doing this right now. You wanted to complain but he gagged you with the minion thong. "Sometimes I pull so hard, I rip the skin!"

You let out a moan of pain. "Does it hurt!?" your boyfriend asked mockingly. You gave him a look and he relented. "Fine. And I was just getting to the good part!" He took the gag out. "Hey kitten, remember when I asked if you wanted to learn about magnets?" You nodded. "Well I think it's time."

He pulled out a box of magnetix. "I've been hoarding these since the recalls. Now I can put them to good use!" He took out some magnetic balls. "Ever heard of sounding?" You watched as he pushed a magnet down your urethra. Damn. You really hadn't been expecting that. He then started to place some more marbles down and you could hear them clink together. Eventually it become long enough for a chain to form.

He tried to pull it out but there was a problem. "Shit!" You glanced over. "What's wrong?" It turns out that the magnets had become stuck to his hand. If he tried to lift his hand then your dick would be pried off. "I have an idea." He detached his arm and then left the room. He returned with some emp grenades. "Hopefully this should work. Here goes nothing!" He pressed the trigger and his body soon fell apart like sliced meat. "Fuck."

You tried to put your boyfriend back together but it was no use. "Just get the magnets out before the grenade goes to waste!" To your horror, nothing came out. "WHAT SHOULD I DO!" You were panicking. "How the hell should I know, it's not like I have a dick myself to practise on!"  You screamed.

"Wait! What about an operation!" You groaned. "Are you telling me that I need to go to the hospital!?" He shook his head (while it was still on the floor so he looked like a dying fish on land). "No silly, we'll do it here. Just think of it like that board game, operation." You fainted on the spot. "Well that takes care of needing to knock you out!"

Sometime after Monsoon's body had formed back together, he had placed his shower curtain on the bed and then laid you on it. "How do children these days even play this?" He was looking through an operation manual. For some reason he decided to pick up the shrek edition. "Screw this, I'll just perform it myself!" He then took out his sais. "Alright, I'll just make an insertion here and then move this out of the way." He found the magnets pooled in your insides but now there was a new problem. "How am I supposed to put you back together?"

It was a few days later and you woke up on your boyfriends bed, smelling of cheeto dust. "What happened....?" You soon noticed Monsoon who was wearing a slutty nurse uniform. "Ah, good. You're awake. Would you like the good news or bad news first?"You swallowed nervously. "Good news please."

"Well I was able to remove all the magnets from your body so that situations solved. And here's the bad news.. I didn't have the tools to sew you up so for now I put a makeshift cock ring around your genitals to hold everything in place. My powers are currently holding it together but you should really get to a hospital..."

You broke down. You were never hooking up with old men you met on 4chan again.

#monsoon x reader #monsoon mgr #mgrr #metal gear rising revengeance #cursed #shitpost #i'm going to hell #crack fic #memes #DNA of the soul #mgr

[bracketsoffear]

The Thistle Men (Alice Isn't Dead) "The Thistlemen are humanoid serial killers wandering the back roads of the United States. From Episode one they are described as filthy, filthy clothes, hands, dirty fingernails that are an unhealthy, translucent yellow, matching the rest of their bodies. The Thistlemen all have ill-fitting skin, and are remarked upon several times to smell earthy and rotten, like spoiled fruit turning to soil. When hurt, their bodies don’t bleed correctly. When she breaks into their town, the narrator Keisha speaks of the mealy yellow fat that falls from their wounds.

Their town is another thing. Hidden within a US Air Force base, it is a perversion of a normal town, not only because of who it houses, but because of the sick oily sheet covering it. Everything looks sticky to the touch. The location of the town remarks upon corruption within the US government, covering up monsters that are allowed to roam freely and even creating a haven for them to thrive in. This is also seen in how the police will ignore the presence of Thistlemen, treating them without hostility. The fact that the Thistlemen are able to continue terrorizing people as they like, with the knowledge and even approval of the government is deeply chilling.

The Thistlemen are capable of teleporting places in their strange way. Infiltrating places and spreading their destruction about, it’s an almost vermin-like quality, but so much more dangerous. Keisha is tormented by the presence of one in her truck, but every time she checks nothing is inside, save for her cargo. This happens in her house as well, and at a live show event, where the narrative tells of a group of people dedicated to fighting Thistlemen, only for to realize who was lurking in the corners. The event was destroyed from the inside of what was meant to be a safe location. Perhaps it had always been a trap, festering with monsters just under the surface.

Finally, the fact that the Thistlemen chose this path for themselves. They used to be ordinary people, perhaps predisposed to violence, but as they years wore on, they changed. Any semblance of morality they held rotted away as they fell into bigotry and hatred and mistrust. It was a slow descent, with the not-yet-Thistlemen recognizing as their skin sagged and bodies rotted, but they didn’t care. By the time they would kill their first victim, the transformation was complete."

Thrax (Osmosis Jones) "A deadly and highly dangerous virus who enters Frank's body when the latter eats a contaminated boiled egg that had just been in the mouth of a zoo monkey, only to be dropped to the ground (ewwwww). Thrax aims to kill each new host he enters faster than the previous one, wanting to go down in the medical textbooks as one of the most deadly diseases in history. To reach his goal he's infected and killed numerous innocent people--and the cells and microbes in their bodies, who are all people in this world--and after doing the same thing to Frank, plans to beat his own personal record by killing his little daughter. He can kill the anthropomorphic microorganisms with a touch, boiling them from the inside out. His name is a play on anthrax. He’s basically narratively Frank’s punishment for being such a disgusting slob."

#corruption poll #the magnus archives #the corruption #alice isn't dead #osmosis jones #poll

[copperpipes]

The Reach are not on the planet yet you know what that means?

Beetle in the exosphere!

I. Hate. Nanotech. I hate when its overused and when its potential is boiled down to stuff appearing out of thin air by superhero movies (looking at you Ironman, could have stopped at the briefcase suit smh the su*cide squad 2021 got it a little better). So I'm doing my best to avoid that especially because one of the main things of the beetle is that he makes weapons out of thin air. So I made him lose the bones instead.

The beetle, no matter the host, is very, very heavy for its size. Every ounce of mass that can be compressed, is compressed, to allow the body to hold as much more building materials as possible. Fat is compressed, bone marrow now produces and holds not only red blood cells but also 'blue carbon', the scarab's major building materials. Even some muscle fiber is replaced and looks black-purplish under the skin, especially around the shoulders and general back area.

Everything deemed 'useless' will be destroyed and replaced and or made into blue carbon holding/production areas. At least Jaime wouldn't need to worry about appendix removal now 👍

The bone marrow still produces red blood cells, and the scarab is helping with that too, but when the beetle transforms into its battle form the out layer of the bones dissolve and join the exoskeleton, and the marrow stays held in place by everything else to keep producesing blue carbon. It is then led to where it's needed by the blood stream.

Responsible for all that powers the beetle's weapons is the scarab's power source, whatever it is its probably extremely radioactive and so its incased in a layer of scales (see in the second image) which keeps the energy in and protect the host from it, also so it won't get detected.

Jaime doesn't know all that.

And side note while Jaime's size hasn't changed, his beetle form is smaller then he is :]

This is just the beetle's anatomy, i have not talked about the host's connection to the scarab and the original purpose of the scarab by the reach, hell i've just briefly mention the scarab's anatomy, there's still so much...

(I am not finished)

#not tmnt related #blue beetle #jaime reyes #khaji da #speculative biology #spec bio #dc blue beetle #my art

[whump-me]

Whumptober Day 30: "Not much longer."

This is a standalone story in my original Mind Games universe, a modern-day sci-fi/fantasy thriller setting about ordinary humans with superhuman abilities and the people who want to use or destroy them. Full description in my Whumptober masterpost, which is linked in my pinned post.

This story contains: death whump, emotional whump, best friends, aftermath of torture, aftermath of interrogation, blood, broken bones

Words: 2800

---

Isaac found James right in the cell the guard had said he was in. Isaac had needed to break two different bones to make the guard give up that information. He was glad it had turned out to be accurate. Otherwise, he might have gone back and broken a couple more.

James was here. That was where the good news ended.

He was a heap in the corner, a small sad pile of bloody fabric and bruised flesh. The bare cell—they hadn’t even given him a bed—smelled like old blood and new, as well as other bodily fluids that made Isaac’s stomach turn. Or maybe the sick feeling came from the odor of vomit, so thick Isaac could taste it.

The rough sound of James breathing through a broken nose was the only thing that told Isaac he was still alive.

The white tile floor was streaked with blood. Isaac left bloody footprints of his own on his way across the cell, but at least that wasn’t James’s blood but the blood of the people who had done this to him.

When he got close enough to see a small part of exactly what they had done to him, he drew in a sharp breath.

They must have figured out the fact that James needed to touch something in order to set it on fire. His hands were pulped, swollen, the dark purple-gray of old bruises. Not a single finger had kept its original shape. They were fat sausages twisted like balloon animals. His palms were misshapen blobs dangling from his wrists. Jagged red lines of infection crawled up his arms like they were trying to escape the worst of the damage.

Dried blood from his broken nose coated his the lower half of his face. Of course—they’d done that when he could no longer use his hands to wipe the blood away. One of his legs had too many bends in it. And everywhere on his body was a patchwork of red and purple and gray. They hadn’t left an inch of skin on bruised.

When Isaac crouched over him, he saw the other injuries—the ones that turned the roiling nausea into the slow, fierce heat of rage. He had a line of circular burn marks along one collarbone. Twin rings of electrical burns around his ankles—what had they done, wrapped him in wire and then shot a current through it? Someone had pulled out all the toenails on one foot. The sole of that foot was flayed raw, with blood and pus leaking from the open wound.

These injuries weren’t like what they had done to his hands—quick and panicked overkill to keep him from lighting them and everything around them on fire. They weren’t like the bruises, which could well have been delivered by a few bored guards looking for someone who couldn’t fight back. These were more systematic. They hadn’t just hurt him for fun. He had been interrogated.

But Isaac had already known that.

Still, seeing the plain evidence in front of him made him want to punch a wall, either that or curl up in the corner sobbing and never let up. He didn’t know which he wanted more.

He couldn’t afford to do either.

The first time he had met James, he had been crying. He’d been thirteen then, and still ashamed of being a crier. He had left that shame behind a long time ago. So he was the kind of guy who could tear up at a sappy song, or because someone had given him a sincere compliment, or because of a paragraph-long news story about a tragedy half a world away. So what? At least it meant he could still feel something. After everything he’d seen, he considered that a win.

But at fourteen, he’d been a long way away from that kind of enlightenment. You needed a thick layer of armor to get through being thirteen, and there was always some well-meaning adult waiting around the corner to tell him he didn’t have enough of it. So he had hidden in a closet on the third floor of the safehouse. There, he sobbed silently into his hands, willing his uncooperative body to just stop before someone got around to looking for him.

When the closet door had opened, a stranger had been standing on the other side—and not just a stranger, but a boy a couple of years older than him. Just about the last person he would have wanted to see him crying. But James had only sat down on the floor with him and asked if he wanted to talk. Never mind that they didn’t even know each other’s names.

And when Isaac said it was nothing—his parents were just a day late getting back from their latest mission, it had happened plenty of times before, it was fine, he was sure they were fine—James didn’t lecture him about how he should save his tears for something more important. And he didn’t try to tell him everything would be all right. He didn’t call him a crybaby or spit in his hair, either, which was about what he had grown to expect from boys James’s age.

He had sat with him in silence until Isaac’s tears had stopped.

Isaac hadn’t known it then, but James had lost his own parents just three days before. They weren’t dead—they had been taken to a PERI research lab, which was worse. James hadn’t even known about the Enhanced gene before PERI had come to his house. He hadn’t known there were other people out there with powers like his, let alone that his parents were two of them.

His parents had never told him why what they were hiding from, or why. They had never told him about the Psi Enhancement Research Initiative, and their mission to kill or control anyone with powers like theirs.

So James had understood Isaac worrying about his parents. He understood wanting to cry for them. He hadn’t told Isaac until much later, but he’d been jealous of Isaac that day. He had trained himself not to cry years ago, and it turned out he couldn’t get that ability back once it was gone. Even with his parents taken away to a fate worse than death, and him whisked away to safety too late by a group of strangers.

Isaac blinked away the memories, and the fresh tears that came with them. He shot a glance toward the open door. The guards would be coming soon. He didn’t have much time.

Moving James would worsen his injuries. But leaving him here would be worse. Isaac slid his arms under James’s wreck of a body as gently as he could. He winced as he felt bones moving under the skin in ways bones shouldn’t move.

James let out a soft moan of pain. He didn’t open his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Isaac murmured, even though nothing about this was okay. “It’s me. I’m here.”

He stood, James clutched to his chest. James was so light. How much weight had he lost in the mere two weeks he’d been gone? Had they fed him at all?

A shudder ran through James, like a full-body electric jolt. His eyes flew open. They were still the same startling blue as ever as they met Isaac’s.

He frowned in faint confusion. “Isaac?” he asked in a blurry voice. “Is that really you?”

“It’s me. I came to get you out of here.”

Instead of relief, James’s face creased in pain. “I… I told them things,” he whispered. His voice was threaded through with shame. “I held out as long as I could.”

Isaac already knew. He had known as soon as the PERI operatives had shown up at the safehouse in the dead of night, two vans full of them. There had been close to a dozen people in the safehouse that night. Three had made it out. Isaac was one of them.

“It’s okay,” Isaac murmured. “Don’t worry about that now.” He pulled James closer against him and hurried through the door.

It had been a strange sort of relief, watching the vans pull up in front of the safehouse, watching the gray-uniformed PERI operatives spill out. He’d been waiting for that moment for as long as he could remember. Other kids had had nightmares about the monster under the bed. He had woken screaming from dreams about PERI.

He’d been born to this life—literally, in the basement of a different safehouse, with his father missing and presumed dead after a mission. His mother had insisted his father would be the one to name him. He had gone nameless until a week later, when his father had stumbled through the door, bruised and bloodied and grinning in triumph, demanding to see his newborn son.

Isaac had grown up with that story. And all the implied fear that went with it.

His mother had been a telepath, and a strong one, which meant Isaac had never been able to get away with anything. His father had been able to see the history of any item by touching it, right back to the moment when it was made. They had met as children in a PERI operative training facility. By the time an Enhanced resistance group had rescued them, neither of them remember their old names from before they were abducted, or how to find their families. So the group had taken them in instead.

They had sworn they wouldn’t do to their son what PERI had done to them. They would let him have a childhood. They wouldn’t train him to fight. But when you grew up steeped in the fight, right back to the moment of your birth, it was impossible to imagine doing anything else.

James had taken the opposite path to the same endpoint. Before his parents were taken, he’d been aimless and adrift, without a sense of purpose. Which was exactly how a person should be at sixteen, Isaac thought, although he couldn’t imagine it himself. But just like there had always been someone waiting in the wings to tell Isaac he was too sensitive, there had been no shortage of people eager to tell James he needed to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. As if anyone could answer that question at sixteen. Anyone who didn’t grow up with only one option, like Isaac.

After his parents, tragedy had forged James into a weapon with only one target. First, it had been about blind grief. Then revenge. Finally, anger had tempered into fierce resolve—a desire to protect others from his parents’ fate.

His motives might have changed, but once he had found his path, he had never wavered.

Isaac was there with him through the whole process. They spent a lot of late nights talking about what they would accomplish side by side. When James was angry, Isaac mustered up anger to equal his—he had no shortage of losses in his own life to rage about. And when James’s anger became a deeper sense of purpose, Isaac echoed that back to him, too. He had felt that sense of purpose since before he could speak.

But one thing had never been in question after that day in the third-floor closet. Whatever they did, and for whatever reasons, they would do it together.

“I dreamed you came to rescue me,” James murmured against Isaac’s chest as Isaac left bloody footprints down the hallway. “Is this another dream?”

“No,” Isaac said without slowing his stride. “It’s real.” He tightened his grip a little more, then loosened it again when James let out a faint mewl of pain.

James’s breathing was unsteady. His heartbeat was thready against Isaac’s fingers. His face was pale and waxy underneath the blood.

Isaac sped from a fast walk to a jog.

“I’ll make up for it somehow,” James said, his voice barely more than a whisper.

“Make up for what?” Isaac kept an eye out for guards. The coast was clear—for now. The distraction the others had created must still be working.

“For… telling them. Telling them about. About the safe house.” Even lying still, James sounded short of breath all of a sudden.

“Don’t worry about that now.” Isaac’s jog became a run. They were almost to the exit. Not much longer. But his heartbeat drummed out a command—go faster, faster, faster.

Because any minute now, the guards would see the distraction for what it was. Any minute now, they would come back and find the cell door open.

But that wasn’t the only reason he had to hurry.

“It’s really not a dream?” James’s voice was barely more than breath. “You’re really here?”

“I’m really here.”

“You really…” James paused to draw in a weak breath. “You’re really getting me out?”

Isaac hesitated before answering. From the moment they had met, he had never lied to James. And if he said yes, it would feel like a lie.

James wasn’t going to make it. Isaac had known it from the second he had seen him. Once he had lifted his too-light body and felt his thready heartbeat, he had known it was even worse than he’d thought. James didn’t have days. He had hours. Maybe minutes.

That was why Isaac had to move fast. If he couldn’t save James’s life, he owed it to him to at least get him out those doors before the end.

It wasn’t the rescue James had dreamed of, he was sure. It wasn’t the rescue Isaac had dreamed of. But it was still a rescue.

“Yes,” said Isaac, swallowing down a fresh burst of tears. Then he let out his breath in a long sigh and let the tears flow free. “Yes, I’m getting you out.”

James didn’t answer. His eyes were shut. He was already unconscious.

There, in front of him—the front doors, still unguarded. Isaac sped into a sprint, holding James close to keep from jostling his limp form too badly. He ran out the doors and down the driveway to where the others were already waiting in the beat-up truck.

He didn’t have to tell them anything. From the second they saw James in his arms, he knew from the looks on their faces that they understood. Without a word, they helped him lay Isaac down across the backseat. Isaac sat with him, cradling James’s head in his lap.

“Where do you want to go?” Millie asked.

“Someplace peaceful,” Isaac said, his tears distorting his voice. “Someplace with sunlight.”

They knew him, so they didn’t flutter over him the way some people did when as soon as they saw tears. And they didn’t try to tell him it was okay. They just let him cry.

And because they had seen James, and understood what was happening, they didn’t ask any more questions. They just drove.

They stopped at the end of the dirt road that led out to a small pond. Tall pine trees framed the pond, and a small dock led out into the still water, where a pair of ducks quacked and splashed each other. It didn’t smell like blood out here. It smelled like life.

Isaac lifted James as gently as he could and carried him out to the edge of the dock, where the sunlight could fall on his face. He sat and cradled James in his arms.

James was still breathing. But only barely. Each breath made his body tense like it took a monumental effort, and too much time passed between each one. His body was shaking. He didn’t open his eyes.

Not much longer now.

But Isaac had kept his word. He had gotten James out.

From now on, when he fought PERI, he would fight alone. He had never imagined that future for himself, not since he had known life with James by his side. Later, he knew, he would cry about that. But for now, he cried only for James.

Hot tears splashed down on James’s cheeks, tracing jagged lines in the dried blood.

James’s eyes fluttered open.

“Where… am I?” he murmured, his faint voice alight with wonder as he squinted up at the sun.

“You’re out.” Isaac’s tear-distorted voice was barely understandable, even to his own ears. “You’re free.”

“I’m free,” James said on a soft sigh. His eyes drifted shut again.

Isaac smiled through his tears.

It hadn’t been the rescue he had imagined. Or the ending he had hoped for. Not for this mission, and not for their friendship.

But their friendship had been worth it. And so had the mission. James was free.

---

Tagged: @cakeinthevoid @gala1981

Ask to be added or removed from my Whumptober 2023 taglist.

#whumptober2023 #no.30 #“Not much longer.” #oc #fic #death whump #torture #my writing #my writing: Mind Games #my writing: whumptober 2023

[themattress]

A look at Dragon Ball Z's sagas and the incarnation I prefer them in: manga, anime, or Kai.

The Vegeta Saga

Manga: 48 Chapters (Vol. 1 - 5) Anime: 35 Episodes (Season 1) Kai: 16 Episodes (Season 1)

This one is really difficult. The arc is a good one in all incarnations, of course, but I especially love both animated renditions. The original anime has strengths like filler episodes that flesh out the year between the major Saiyan battles quite well and provide more development to characters like Gohan and Piccolo, and even spotlight characters that were underutilized in the manga (in Launch's case, not utilized at all!), but weaknesses like filler episodes that are particularly bad and contradictory to canon material, plus the battle with Nappa and Vegeta having more padding stuffed in than is necessary. Kai loses those weaknesses, but it also loses those strengths. On the plus side, it feels perfectly paced, with 8 episodes before Nappa and Vegeta arrive followed by 8 after their arrival. So, which version gets the victory?

Well, the winner is....

The good filler in the original anime is very good, but the bad filler is literally story-breaking levels of bad (ex: the space pod Goku came to Earth in gets blown up, and then when it's canonically needed for the story no reference is made to the fact that it was ever destroyed), and more importantly than that, Kai has the only consistently good English dub of the saga.

The Freeza Saga

Manga: 87 Chapters (Vol. 5 - 12) Anime: 72 Episodes (Seasons 1 - 3) Kai: 38 Episodes (Seasons 1 - 3)

Let's rule out the anime right away, because its filler and padding was more often than not atrocious and dragged the whole thing down in spite of the arc's soaring highs. Kai retains those highs and trims the fat, with almost half the amount of episodes. However, a few things it couldn't quite work around such as Captain Ginyu's pointless return in Bulma's body and the fight between Goku and Freeza getting interrupted by a fight between Gohan and Freeza still ended up remaining. The pacing is still slightly better than the manga's and seeing the battles and transformations all fully animated is always a plus, but as a minus Toriyama's writing is more consistent as Toei's aforementioned retained additions are just that obvious.

So, when weighing them carefully, I've got to give the nod to....

The original manga arc was immediately iconic for a reason. Also, it's the only version where Vegeta says that Zarbon spilled Freeza's secret of being able to transform...and Zarbon actually did so! Yeah, in both anime versions they totally forget to have Zarbon say that to Vegeta, so it comes out of nowhere when Vegeta says the line to Freeza! When you make such a monumental narrative blunder, you just can't be the definitive version of the story.

The Cell Saga

Manga: 91 Chapters (Vol. 12 - 19) Anime: 77 Episodes (Seasons 4 - 6) Kai: 44 Episodes (Seasons 3 - 4)

It's a nigh-perfectly paced and utterly riveting story arc in all three versions, so each version's weaknesses being minor compared to their strengths. So this one is practically a coin toss!

But the coin lands on...

It's the best of both worlds. Truer to the manga with a lot of filler excised, while maintaining great animation and voice-acting that the anime made possible, plus keeping some of the better changes such as how the final epic beam struggle between Gohan and Cell plays out. Also, I much prefer the arrangement of the Kikuchi score here compared to the original.

The Buu Saga

Manga: 99 Chapters (Vol. 20 - 26) Anime: 92 Episodes (Seasons 7 - 9) Kai: 69 Episodes (The Final Chapters)

This arc was never gotten right in any version. The manga's goes further and further off the rails and gets rushed to a flat, underwhelming conclusion; the anime's drags on too long and the many battles against different incarnations of Buu grow tiresome; and Kai bafflingly keeps in a lot of the anime's worst additions which feels totally against the original point of Kai.

But the lesser of three evils is....

At the very least, when this arc starts to get really bad in the manga, it goes by fast. It's mostly in the last two volumes and you can read through it easily. That's way better than spending 22 minutes after 22 minutes after 22 minutes putting up with the decline in quality.

But that leads me to my big Hot Take: Dragon Ball Z is a legendary anime, important to and cherished by many, myself included. But nowadays there's....really not much of a good reason to watch it. Kai is far more in line with the original manga and actually goes at a reasonable pace. 167 episodes is still lengthy; longer than Dragon Ball's 153 and Dragon Ball Super's 131, but it still falls under that reasonable umbrella, whereas 291 episodes just feels way too daunting, especially when not being broadcast on a weekday-by-weekday basis.

So aside from checking out episodes here and there as a curiosity, I wouldn't recommend the original Dragon Ball Z to anyone anymore. Maybe I'm going to HFIL for that, but it's true!

#Dragon Ball #Dragon Ball Z #Opinion #Analysis #Comparison