For old times sake is actually such a heartbreaking and beautiful sentiment. Like, let’s do it for the love that used to be here. It is reason enough.
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fatima aamer bilal, from all hunger is, is love.
[text id: oh, how i would pray to get sick so my mother would take care of me.]
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fatima aamer bilal, from even flesh eaters don’t want me.
[text id: i want to embrace you so closely that our bodies would become one.]
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Louise Glück, The Seven Ages; from ‘From a Journal’
TEXT ID: I wanted you to fall in love. But the arrow kept hitting the mirror and coming back.
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the dark, dark realization that we're growing up
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I’m a better lover to myself than you ever were to me
I make the best coffee for myself in the morning
I keep myself warm at night, snuggled up in blankets
I worked on the lawn and garden today
I cook myself meals from homegrown veggies
I’ve spent all week since I sent you away cleaning the house
and it’s so much easier just doing everything I asked of you
by myself, then waiting for someday when you might do it,
because someday never comes.
I do everything you did for me without the resentment you showed me
because I love myself enough, I see my worth, I don’t resent me like you do
and I still have so much time on my hands to be a person,
instead of taking on the burden of your emotional needs.
I can’t be a therapist, a mother, a provider each day to my partner.
I can do so much more for myself with that time and energy.
I love you and I deserve so much more.
August 19, 2023 // Grazia Curcuru
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Freyja,
I pray that you allow passion to overtake me. For everything. Life, friends, art, everything. My Lady, my fire, my passion, do not allow me to be an empty hole forever. Fill me with desire, make it burn. I want to burn again
-Yours forever, N
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fatima aamer bilal, from even flesh eaters don’t want me.
[text id: but darling, i destroy everything i love. / like my favourite cup that i held a little too tightly because i was afraid that it would fall and break into pieces. / it shattered in my hands.]
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i’m afraid of a lot of things, but mostly, most sincerely, i am afraid of being unravelled by you, and you finding nothing you want in here
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fatima aamer bilal, from if only love could save us.
[text id: december cold, so lovingly, froze my blood and burned my skin shut. / (every wound can rest til the arrival of summer)]
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