#except outlaw cowboy hot

[wifelinkmtg]

There's "spaghetti western" and then there's whatever the hell this Chef Boyardee shit is

Hello! and welcome back to Wifelink. We're talking about Outlaws of Thunder Junction today, Magic's second product in a row set in a version of Nevada, and let me tell you something: I am not impressed. The mechanics are uninspired, the setting is undercooked, the story is overstuffed, and to top it all off the whole thing smacks of settler-colonialism. AND they yassified Vraska, the monsters!

WE WILL GET TO THE HOT WOMEN, BELIEVE YOU ME, BUT FIRST I AM GOING TO COMPLAIN SOMEWHAT, AS IS MY RIGHT AS AN AMERICAN, AS A HUMAN BEING, AND AS A GAMER

The mechanics we've discussed elsewhere, and I will skim over the main storyline except to say that very few of this Big Villain Heist Team-Up gets enough spotlight to justify their inclusion here beyond getting recognizable names on cards, and that Rakdos' presence on the plane alone ought to be an apocalyptic calamity. I appreciate Jace & Vraska going full blackpilled accelerationist, stealing a baby, and aiming to destroy the multiverse & start over (a novel hybrid of Raising Arizona and Doctor Strangelove,) but I also know, sure as the sun rises, that whatever happens with their villain arc will be a underwhelming let-down.

What I actually want to complain about, though, is the setting. Thunder Junction ain't real, and I don't mean it's fictional, I mean it's plywood facades on a backlot. It's the set for a cowboy film. You feel me? This ain't a plane, it's a god damned sound stage.

Lemme go over the facts: we know Thunder Junction has been settled for a bit over a year. A year! - and yet there's multiple towns, multiple railways, and an honest-to-god metropolis. Less than two years and we already have ghost towns! This is not the product of a bunch of people on various planes all individually deciding to seek a new life in the off-world colonies. All of this represents a staggering quantity of people, material, wealth, and labor, being moved between planes, directed and organized - but by whom? For what reason? How, even? The story is totally uninterested in these questions.

One of the few silver linings to the way the Phyrexian invasion storyline ended was that the Omenpaths had a lot of interesting potential! Different planes would come into direct contact with each other for the first time ever! Different technologies, different philosophies and religions, different kinds of magic colliding, coming into conflict, adapting and adjusting to each other. And after a couple of sets where the interplanar contact was limited to one or two particularly adventurous individuals, we finally get to see what interplanar contact at scale looks like here in Thunder Junction... and it just looks like a John Wayne flick. Did people not bring their culture with them? Is there a big rack of hats and boots and dusters right where people step off the Omenpath? Shuck off those old Ravnican rags, kid, get changed. You'll spoil the aesthetic. I mean, it's baffling.

Luxurious Locomotive (art by Leon Tukker). This is one of the few man-made parts of this plane that I can look at and know where it came from: this is a Kaladeshi design. More of this sort of thing would have made Thunder Junction feel more like a real place and less like a Sergio Leone joint.

There's a side story, No Tells, by Isaac Fellman, which I quite like actually: it's about guilt and betrayal and the inevitable regrets of having moved into a queer housing co-op, and one of the things that makes it great is that we know where Yuma came from (New Capenna), we know why he left (the limitations of "be gay do crimes" as praxis under capitalism), and we know what he brought to Thunder Junction with him (cocktails, pool tables, and his co-op's emergency funds). Fellman has written nothing else for Wizards and doesn't play Magic, and even so he's done more to make Thunder Junction feel like a real place situated in a real history than the rest of the story team combined - which goes to show, one, that we should only let trans people write magic story for the next decade or so, and two, that what I'm asking for in terms of worldbuilding is not unattainable, or even that difficult.

And all of this ties into the colonialism, right? Thunder Junction is being colonized, and asking questions about who benefits, who's sponsoring this breakneck settlement of the plane, what they're after and so forth would require the story to take a good hard look at the process of colonization itself, and Wizards is flatly unwilling to engage with anything that thorny in their products. So, just as Ixalan involved a limp-wristed slant reenactment of the Spanish conquest of the Americas - but it's fine because they're the bad guys and they're technically not even trying to colonize Ixalan and they don't win anyway so no one gets hurt! - Thunder Junction is attempting to present a Disneyland version of Western colonialism. Untamed wilderness! Bringing civilization to uninhabited deserts! How cool and heroic these hard frontiersmen and -women are! I'm told they brought in Navajo cultural consultants for the Atiin, a fantasy equivalent, and I hope those folks were well compensated! The Atiin seem cool, and the one Atiin character we spend any time with is well-written, but the Atiin are not indigenous to Thunder Junction. They're not being colonized. And if there weren't anybody being colonized, I'd probably still dislike the colonial vision of a wild land inhabited only by animals, just waiting for us to shape it to our will with railways and violence, but there is in fact a native race of sapients on Thunder Junction, and these cactus folk get no voice in the story, so if they have some kind of opinion on the rapid colonization of their home and the clear-cutting of their cactus forests, we don't get to hear about it.

Prickly Pair (art by Brian Valeza) Too much of the extremely-limited presence Thunder Junction's only indigenous sapients have on the cards is devoted to cactus-based puns like this one, which is pretty distasteful given, you know, the colonialism.

I'm talking about colonialism not because I think that replicating colonial myths in fantasy fiction is an unethical thing to do - although it is - but because you can see, right, that Thunder Junction's lack of verisimilitude is intertwined with the colonial vision of the world at play here, yeah? The story wants to have cool cowboy shootouts and train robberies and it does not want its cowboy fantasy to be complicated by uncomfortable realities, so it has to avoid all of the basic worldbuilding questions that would tell us who the colonization benefits and how they're profiting off the plane, and in the end we're left with nothing but an empty aesthetic, like a duster hanging off a scarecrow, blowing in the wind.

ANYWAY SO WOMEN

To be honest, under the circumstances I'm not really feeling like giving the fine women of Thunder Junction my usual more elaborate treatment, so we're going to lightning-round this shit, which is at least thematic.

Blood Hustler (art by Anna Pavleeva)

Vampire MILF.

Rattleback Apothecary (art by Loïc Canavaggia)

Snake MILF.

Wrangler of the Damned (art by Michal Ivan)

Cis lesbian haircut, good with a rope.

Obeka, Splitter of Seconds (art by Ryan Pancoast)

BIG

#outlaws of thunder junction

[waddingham]

omg @fandomfrolics thank you for tagging me this sounds so fun !!!! idk who hasn't been tagged but all my writing mutuals do this!!

Rules: Pick a bunch of your WIPs and summarize them as badly as possible, then ask your followers to vote on which one they’d be most likely to read. Multiple/all/none options are completely optional.

(since I have uhhhhhhh three dozen wips ill just pick the ones I have the most written for fkdbdjdbdj)

#this was literally so fun to do i love this #going for the week poll because im genuinely invested in the out come after doing all these fghjjgf

[ofallthingsnasty]

Cowboy croco?? 👀👀

Omg imagine him trying to wife up a cute fat darling 🙏🙏 hot

The thing is, to me he's either some ultra slimy, wicked business type who exploits people ruthlessly and gets them with debts/gag contracts or he's a Dutch Van der Linde (rdr2) guy with his own little group of outlaws (and has his fingers in pots the others do not know about...) - or maybe more like Colm O'Driscoll, but I digress...

Oh, but him having a little crisis - he is cunning and strong, has money and smarts and loyal men and all that, but he also can tell that he's in his mid-40s now. People in that line of 'work' (people in general, back then) aged worse - and I don't mean aesthetically, I mean physically. For all he knows, it's entirely possible for him to be dead this time next year; and he can feel the phantom pain in his lost hand whenever the weather changes more and more with every passing winter. 20 years ago, that quick way of living, that uncertainty didn't bother him at all, no, it added to the thrill of everything. That was the spice his 20s and 30s were made of - when the world was his oyster and the next big thing right around the corner. But now? He's richer than before, more crafty; he knows people and how they work, knows so much yet feels so empty... Going out in a blaze of glory would have been appealing just ten years ago, now it feels shallow and vain. It's not that he wants to settle down either, it's just-

Something is missing. Between almost 30 years on the road, the street, in the wilderness, the reeking towns and cramped cities and him lying and cheating and gunning his way through it all, he has been nothing but made of red-hot iron and fury. Suddenly he's more mellow; his evil oozes more than it spurts and he feels himself longing for something - someone. Someone to apply his little ointments for him, someone who cooks for him, someone who is a base for him whenever he returns from his exploits and so much more. He suddenly finds himself yearning for the comforts a wife provides, those little joys and genuine warmth money can't buy. It's strange, really. Utterly strange and out of character for a man like him. But age turns the best of them into sentimental fools and he doesn't seem to be an exception. He finds himself conjuring up someone in his mind whenever he lords over his whiskey or stares at the moon with a cigarette in hand; how nice just another presence would be, how he could afford a wife, how having someone to adore him might be more tempting than cold metal and gems in his hand. He could have both, he reasons, and experience a sliver of peace his life has never given him so far. He has heard many old men lament the loss of a woman; decades shared toiling together, building together - it never bothered him one bit before; now he wants what he can't have.

So when he spots you - widowed, all out on your own and desperate for money, fat with luxuries your dead husband could provide for you but that are now sorely missing, he sees an opportunity; someone to take advantage of. You're perfect, just made for him: desperate, soft and sweet, with years of homemaking and pleasing underneath your belt. Oh, he'll blind you. Deceive you with a front of charm and expensive clothes, with the promises of a home of your own and food on the table. You'll buy his lies hook, line and sinker - won't question him when he evades your inquiries about his work, won't even have the time to think about just where his rings come from when every day on your own just gets harder and harder because your money is running out. You've got a sweet face; the body of a fat little wife and are worn down enough by misfortune that you cling to him like a drowning cat. You'll only see that you married the devil himself after it's all said and done; that you've been dragged into the life of a horrible criminal who'll leave you widowed again - and with the wolves to come once he's been shot like a fucking dog, someday soon.

#but he is so selfish... he lives in the now... and the now is you warming his bed and washing his clothes and trying to be perfect for him.. #/crocodile #/one piece #he'll leave you in a sweet little cabin in a little town and comes around here and there... but as long as he lives you'll be alright #at least financially... #thinking about either hosea from rdr2 who was whipped for his wifey. or micah's old outlaw companion who settled with a wife in strawberry #that's what i'm thinking you know....

[flawedamythyst]

For the AU ask game -- Western Winterhawk!

Well, my immediate reaction is that @drgrlfriend has already written the ultimate western AU Freedom's Reach so I don't need to but two cakes, I guess.

SO a rancher hires a team to take a lot of cows across the West from somewhere to somewhere else, which is going to take a few weeks. Clint and Bucky are both on the team, along with, idk, probably Steve and Sam. Tony seems unlikely but maybe Natasha? And then a bad guy, let's say Rumlow for this one. He's the guy in charge.

It's miserable hard work and they're all coated in dirt and smelling like cows within hours, but apart from that it's all going fine, they're having companionable campfires in the evening and Clint and Bucky are making eyes at each other, casually flirting, all that.

Except PLOT TWIST Bucky and Steve are actually sheriffs who are undercover because they're herding the cows through an area where a gang of outlaws operates, let's call them Hydra. Not sure that's the most historically realistic name for a bunch of Western bandits but screw it. Bucky and Steve got wind that the outlaws had been tipped off that the cows were being herded their way, and that Rumlow is also transporting something smaller and more valuable with the cows as a bit of a front. Uh, let's say a case of fancy Swiss watches that the rancher's brother imported for him and he's selling to a watchmaker in the town.

Anyway, Bucky can't get completely close to Clint in case he gives himself away, and also he and Steve aren't sure who amongst the cowboys is leaking info to the bandits, so there's a bunch of pining and Clint wondering why this isn't happening when Bucky is so clearly into him, and Bucky lamenting to Steve that he has to be Professional about all this no matter how sexy Clint is etc etc.

They get to the bandit country, all of them on high alert as they sneak through the mountain pass but OH NO there's an ambush, the bandits come riding down and attempt to murder everyone and steal the cows and the money. Bucky and Steve are ready for them and there's a firefight. Clint helps them with his bow, and they hold the bandits off long enough for the others to escape with the cows (man I am glad I don't have to write a fight scene that involves having to rescue a herd of cows).

Except SHOCK Rumlow is the bandits' inside guy, he attempts to take out Bucky from behind, Clint saves his life but gets a little bit shot in the process. Steve shoots Rumlow, Bucky grabs Clint, and they ride off after the others and the cows leaving Rumlow for dead. They also manage to keep hold of the case that the watches are in.

When they stop to regroup, Sam fixes Clint up then he and Bucky have a touchingly romantic moment and end up kissing. Happy moment of joyful romance.

They only have a few more days until they get to where they need to take the cows so they keep going, as fast as a bunch of cows can, looking over their shoulders, but don't encounter any other issues. Clint and Bucky cuddle at night (no sex, not when they're surrounded by cows, haven't washed in weeks and Clint just got shot) and they chat about what their future might look like.

They get to town, deliver the cows to whoever was meant to be taking them, then head into the town for a night in an inn, a hot bath and, oh yeah, to deliver the watches.

Except they get to the watch shop, walk in, and are immediately surrounded by Hydra guys and Rumlow, who is apparently less dead than everyone hoped. He takes the watches from them and hands the case to the watchmaker, who is Zola, and he opens up a secret compartment in the case to reveal a shit ton of gold. The rancher, who is Pierce, of course, is paying someone in government off so a railroad route goes through his land and a station is put in, which will create a town where he is the sole landowner. He intends to turn into a sort of cult town, bring in all the little Nazi bastards until they have enough to dominate politics in the county/state and yes I am aware that actual Nazis would be anachronistic but you get the gist. He's trying to build a community of arseholes.

Rumlow announces he's going to kill Bucky, Steve & Clint and aims his gun at Clint. This time Bucky saves his life, there's a big fight scene and the good guys come out on top. It would be super dramatic and engaging in the actual fic.

Rumlow finally dies, Hydra get taken out, Zola is taken into custody, and Steve takes the watches and gold as evidence so the government guy can be arrested for bribery. Clint and Bucky ride off into the sunset towards their happy ever after. At some point after they've had a bath, they fuck.

#asks #meme #AU meme #winterhawk #marvel

[marshmallowprotection]

Okay but cowboy Ray watching Lila performing/working on her tasks and just loosing his mind over how graceful and pretty she looks, and how soft her hair looks, and how her outfit compliments her figure so perfectly and oh sweet heavens what if she puts on a show in front of him? Ray is flabbergasted

Or maybe he starts feeling just a tiny bit jealous over other patrons seeing her like this? He knows they're not good people after all... They are not deserving of her warmth

Idk I just think they're neat 😶

Cowboy Ray is nothing like Unknown. That is to say, on the inside, he's nothing like the man who stands tall and destroys everything in his way to make sure that they survive in Hell. The only thing that he ever cared about was cultivating life in the wasteland they called the home they were left. He studied for hours and hours to figure out the best way to get his hands on crops and plants.

Unknown was one in this situation who wanted to focus on taking down the threat.

What were they supposed to do when the threat was gone?

How would they live and how would they survive? Even if the monster was dead and far from their reach... that didn't mean that they were going to know how to live. Seven... Unknown... Ray... all of them had been in Hell since they were created. They didn't know how to do anything in this life except steal and threaten to survive.

Ray didn't like doing that. It made him feel sick. He always imagined that they would be heroes that stole from the rich and made sure the lot of them learned their lesson...but life wasn't like the stories that he had been told by Rika long ago. Life was scarier, crueler, and mean to those who had nothing and had to prove they were worth something.

Ray knows how to be a player in the game they've been thrust into.

He could be brutal, he could be merciless, and he could be crass if need be. He could burn bridges and walk in the hot dirt barefoot just as he did when he was young and dazed in the middle of the day, left by crooks who would rather see him dead than alive. Unknown said it was important to be bad to succeed.

Unfortunately, Ray had no choice but to agree, but that was the story of their life. They didn't get to decide what happened, all the adults in their life did. It wasn't like Seven was around, either. He had left to go on a hunt for information that V had left to him, and there was no way to know when he would be back.

That meant he and Unknown had to be on top of everything.

They had to play the part of two outlaws to be sure that nobody knew they were out of line. It was hard. It was stressful, and it was the one reason why Ray felt compelled to come out more. Unknown was the one that was brave and cruel, but even he had limits that hurt him to the core. Sometimes he was so tired he needed a break, and it meant it was Ray's turn to take the helm and take care of things.

That meant Ray had to check on everything that Unknown let fall to the wayside while he working double shifts. It wasn't an excuse, Ray tried to reason with himself because this meant that he could go and visit the saloon performer that owed them a debt. The sweet, and all too kind woman that had walked into danger and needed someone to show her the truth in this world. That's what Unknown said about her.

Ray didn't agree with that. A part of him wanted to shelter someone like Lila. She reminded him of the days when he was innocent and far from fear... the days when he felt lost but ultimately better not being able to know the brutal truth that Seven wanted to hide. Ignorance in this life is real bliss, that's what the crook Vanderwood had once said.

Lila was like the Cereus in the desert that had provided water and life to a desperate but lost soul. She was compassionate hope. The rose in the dessert. The diamond in the rough. The light at the end of this long tunnel. Unknown had warned him again and again that it was a dangerous game to gamble their bets on something like her, but she was perfect for it.

Nobody would've ever suspected her for a minute. It felt wrong to use her as a tool, but she had consented to help them, even though it was a debt she owed. She smiled and offered her hand to make things the right way again as if they'd ever even known a right way, and that... it was enough to make Ray believe in something. Even Unknown would say that he felt as though she was a good person. But, good people in this barren wasteland were few and far between.

Crooks and disgusting conmen would want her for the same reason all men wanted a taste of something sweet and supple. They wanted to taint something perfect to wet their palette. They wanted to ruin a gem so it was no longer shiny. They wanted to gloat and fuel a sense of pride in destroying something holy and untouched. He knew that to be the truth every time they came for intel in Jihyun's Bar.

It didn't matter who the patrons were gawking at. They all wanted to deflower the performers. Ray had overheard Zen once, the lead in the act, tell Lila that she wasn't the one on display. It was those customers who drooled and threw their money at the bar and at the body of those they could never touch that were the true reflection of the display of human depravity.

She seemed to heed his words since that day because when she stepped out on stage, her shyness faded and she smiled filled with confidence that glimmered like starlight. Her bodice clung to her chest, but it did nothing to hide swathes of freckles and sun-kissed shoulders.. cheeks... and a back. She was a vision of a world Ray dreamed of. She didn’t have to fear the sunshine or the heat. She had a chance to be more than he ever was.

Her thick curls were braided delicately but loosely enough that it gave the sense of a possible mess to come. She was leering on the edge of depravity, but close enough to her innocence that someone would want to remove the rest of it in the time it took to ask her time. Her lips were pouty and bold. Even as Ray sat in the back of the bar and watched her hips swing from left to right, she never lost that illusion of starlight.

Goodness... his face felt warm.

Lila was graceful. Her smile never fading and her hands always moving to show how far she could go. Ray’s eyes trailed across her figure, noting how perfect it was to see her wearing that outfit. She was so pretty... so bright... so sweet. She was hard to put into words but every time he tried, his throat felt tight and he felt convinced that she was the one who had stolen his heart. He couldn’t admit that, he was just another crook in her world, even if he wasn’t as bad as the rest. But, God, he wanted to be closer to her... he wanted to be so close...

Close enough to feel her breath puff against his cheek as she sprawled herself across his lap. What if she did? What if she lowered her hand to his chest and gave him a show? What would he do? He couldn’t blow his cover and let any of those men know who he was... that’s why he always lingered... but his throat felt dry and his hands twitched.

Her body was perfect. Her smile was lovely. Her song-voice reminded him of the Heavens above. She was... everything.

She was chatting amicably to a patron. She never broke character, either. She was listening intently to his words, laughing now and again, prompting with tiny nudges to hear “oh so more from this handsome, hardworking gentleman, who needs to be heard by someone who cares about his day. Oh, where would I be without someone like you coming by to make my heart flutter, sugar? I know I’m just a little girl from the East, but can you blame me for wanting to know about all you handsome men? You’re all so sweet to me, but especially, you sir.”

A mousy girl with nervous eyes transformed into a blossoming rose in front of the tavern. Ray thought she was amazing at transforming herself... she seemed to handle it with care despite any discomfort she felt. She was brave unlike him. She didn’t have the benefit of being a man with a gun who could bark orders and make others leave. She was a woman and she had to face every threat as if she was flattered and honored by disgusting remarks. She was doing that all for him and his brother.

Lila’s chest rose and fell as she leaned over to hear the man whisper something in her ear and tuck a note into her pocket. She giggled once more and kept it up with no hesitation. She was perfection. Ray’s heart thundered in his chest. It was wrong for him to think of his Cereus as anything but the sweet girl they needed to save that day. She was sweet, perfect, and just right for him. There was a big reason why God had given him a chance to save her that day, right?

She wasn’t led to the West to be defiled by disgusting crooks. They weren’t worthy of her beauty or time. If he could, he would let his finger hover above Unknown’s preferred gun, thinking nothing more of getting rid of those who Ray knew made her skin crawl. She played the game and talked the talk, but in her eyes was somebody who was disgusted with the men she had to deal with on a daily basis. She wasn’t the type to hate others, but she couldn’t hide the disdain in her heart.

Ray could see it.

He was... undeniably jealous that men could see her like this. It was a part of the game they had to play, but it didn’t mean he liked it. Nobody deserved to see her like this. She deserved better than this. She should’ve been given a chance that he never had. She needed to be protected and given anything she could want in her life. That’s why she was perfect for this task. People would sell their soul and money to get a glimpse of her bubbling laugh just one.

His brow narrowed at the looked at the crowd of men who wanted to objectify her and remove her smile. He didn’t want that. He wanted to hold her close and praise her being like she deserved. Even if he was just an outlaw with dirt on his face and blood on his hands, he wanted to praise her for being so good to him... to Seven... to Unknown... and to the cause that might free them from Hell.

I reckon if ya’ stare any fuckin’ longer, it’ll burn a hole in someone’s skull, Ray. Stop lusting after little Cereus. She’s ours already, but if ya" let any of ‘em fuckers know, they’ll nab her on purpose. Unknown’s voice hissed in a warning at the back of his head, just a reminder that Ray was never alone.

Ray sat up straight, fixing the collar around his throat, and knew that he had to behave. He couldn’t rough someone up just because he wanted to. There had to be a reason for it. Someone had to touch her the wrong way and then he could take care of it. He would destroy anyone that dared to look at her the wrong way. He could do that. He might’ve preferred to be kind and gentle, but the world had taught him he had no choice in being cruel.

At least, he could choose who to get rid.

Anyone who defiled the Cereus would pay for it. Forever. She owed everything to Ray and Unknown. She liked them... she did... she would never give anyone else the time of day. 

As Ray lifted his head to look back across the bar, he found that Lila was looking directly at him. A smile curled at the edges of her lips as she gave a little wave at him, her hand raised to her lips to blow him a kiss. He shivered as he thought of what that would feel like for real. He could be a gentleman for her, God knows it was what she needed. He would mask his anger and envy... smiling and doing a lot to protect her virtue. She didn’t need to know he was sinful.

Ray caught her ‘kiss’ and nodded back at her, hoping that she could feel the way her outlaw quivered. Unknown would’ve made her pay for that after her duty, but Ray? Ray wanted to find out what else she wanted to give him.

Anythin’ for ya’, little darlin’. I’ll do anythin’ for ya’.

#cereus #cowboy ray #cowboy unknown #ask #natasha in space #lila lancelot oc #cmc #cowboy saeran #mod kait #drabble

[drades-lair]

A deal struck

Note: 18+ content included 

Blitz stared up at the far too cliché motel sign, leave it to Striker to choose a place that was straight out of some fucking spaghetti western to meet. Blitz wasn’t an idiot either he had his flint lock pistol primed at his hip just in case this was a trap in Blitz’s free hand he held a brown envelope containing the main reason he was here. Moving to room 69’s door (again what the fuck? Seriously that number?) Blitz rapped on the splintering wooden surface with his knuckles when a familiar southern drawl came from inside.

“It’s open…Blitz,” Striker’s tone was same as it had been when Blitz last saw him

Pushing the door open Blitz casually made his way inside revealing Striker was also just as dramatic as Blitz remembered, lights off excluding a shitty small one on the bedside table barely giving off a faint yellow glow. Striker sat on the bed with one leg crooked up onto the mattress while the other one dangled lazily off the edge, arm resting casually over the crooked leg with a tumbler of whiskey in hand, but it was what was in his other hand which was supporting him that had Blitz’s attention, a blessing tipped pistol clearly loaded. Blitz cautiously entered the room keeping his one hand on the hilt of his pistol earning him a huffed laugh from the other party.

“Ya don’t trust me?” Striker scoffed

“Not a bit,” Blitz confirmed

“Got what we discussed?” Striker inquired

“Yep, right here,” Blitz held up the brown envelope

“Bring it here,” Striker instructed, lightly tapping the muzzle of his pistol on the mattress while swirling the ember liquid in his glass. Blitz gingerly approached unable to help looking the cowboy head to toe then watched as Striker placed his pistol on the bedside table to take the envelop.

“It’s all in there,” Blitz assured Striker while backing away slightly. The cowboy outlaw shifted to sit fully on the edge of the bed, taking a swig of his drink then setting it down on the bedside table next to his pistol. Pulling open the envelope Striker pulled out several stacks of cash.

“I believe you...” Striker assured Blitz, yellow gaze shifting upwards to lock onto Blitz.

“So…that’s it, right? Stolas is off limits now,” Blitz asked wanting to hear Striker confirm what he’d promised.

“That’s the idea…pleasure doing business wit’ Ya, Boss man,” Striker smirked once again picking up his drink, tipping it towards Blitz then swigging the rest down. Blitz shuddered cause FUCK! That was hot. Apparently, Striker hadn’t missed this reaction.

“Unless you’d like to stay a little longer,” Striker suggested placing his empty glass back where it came from then pushed off the mattress. Blitz instantly tensed with his hand death gripping the hilt of his pistol but at the same time he was certainly turned on just as he’d been in the farmhouse back during the Harvest Moon Festival. Striker wasn’t wearing his jacket, hat nor bandana and his shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows making Blitz feel all the hotter and more bothered.

“Why would I want to stay in this shit hole?” Blitz retorted slowly backing up

“Come now…we both know what was goin’ on back on the ranch…” Striker trailed off in a low chittering hiss. Blitz did release his pistol slightly upon noticing that Striker had left his own on the bedside table however he still didn’t trust the outlaw which is why Blitz jumped when the door slammed behind him. Spinning around the city imp saw that Striker had used his tail to close the door to the motel room before pressing Blitz to it.

“Shit!” Blitz cursed under his breath

“Relax…I ain’t gonna hurt Ya…I’m a man of my word after all,” Striker assured Blitz, voice dropping an octave. Deja vu filled Blitz’s mind as Striker pressed two hands to the door on either side of Blitz’s head except this time Blitz was face first against the door. Blitz could feel Striker press close, breath ghosting over the back of Blitz’ neck and he could practically feel that trade marked smirk plastered firmly on the other imp’s face.

Blitz shoved off the door in one fluid movement, flipping himself around then pressed his lips to Striker’s apparently surprising the other imp if the surprised sound he made into Blitz’s mouth was anything to go by. Striker recovered quickly as he pressed back even bringing a knee up to rest between Blitz’s thighs while Blitz’s hands moved to unbutton Striker’s vest followed by his shirt. Growling slightly Striker reached a hand to Blitz’s pants easily undoing them with skilled fingers before shoving a hand inside to palm at what he found there. Blitz returned Striker’s growl as he shrugged off his trench, batting Striker’s hand out of his pants once the piece of clothing hit the ground.

“Hmm…what the fuck?” Striker cursed in confusion finally breaking their kiss when Blitz swatted his hand out of his pants. Blitz simply smirked then yanked Striker by his one wrist to flip their positions, the pale imp’s chest pressing against the same door he’d just had Blitz up against, arm pinned behind his back now as Blitz nuzzled into the nape of the other imp’s neck.

Blitz released a deep low rumbling sound that shot straight through Striker quickly sending everything south of his boarder. Blitz used his free hand to caress along Striker’s hip, sliding casually around to the front of his pants as he sucked a hickey in to the nape of Striker’s neck eliciting a deep moan from the imp beneath. Blitz had gotten so distracted he had forgotten about Striker’s tail that is until something wrapped around his waist then yanked him backwards with a surprised yelp before hitting the bed on his back. Striker gave a snarling hiss as he turned around to face Blitz, strutting over to where Blitz now lay on the bed bringing one knee up to rest beside Blitz’s left hip while planting both hands firmly on either side of his shoulders making the shitty motel bed creak loudly. Striker pressed hot sloppy kisses to Blitz’s lips and down his neck while bringing one hand to start undoing the buttons on the city imp’s shirt.

Blitz undid Striker’s pants then caressed both hands up the other imp’s torso till they rested on his shoulders. Once the last button on Blitz’s shirt was undone Striker gave a surprised grunt, Blitz had flipped them once more now with a mischievous grin plastered all over his face. Striker tried to regain the upper hand only to find himself chest down on the bed right before being yanked halfway off the bed, both arms swiftly being pulled behind his back. Blitz looked around for a moment only to find what he was looking for, rope.

“Fuck…let me up…” Striker snarled through panting breaths

“Nope,” Blitz simply retorted using his tail to grab the rope that clearly had been Strikers, wrapping it around Striker’s wrists to secure them in place once he had hold of it.

“Hey! This ain’t funny Blitz! I don’t fuckin’ take dick!” Striker growled struggling against the binds just put in place.

“You will tonight,” Blitz’s voice was far lower then normal as he whispered into Striker’s ear sending a shiver down his spine causing a bright blush to spread across Striker’s face.

Blitz used a knee to spread Striker’s legs before yanking the pale imp’s pants down to his own knees revealing that round firm ass he’d imagined. Using his tail again Blitz dragged his trench coat over, one hand pressed to Striker’s back to further immobilize the struggling imp while his other hand riffled through the trench’s pockets until he found the bottle of lube he kept. Striker stilled slightly prompting Blitz to look up instantly feeling his hard on throb at what he saw, Striker was currently glancing over his own shoulder, panting heavily with a fully red flush across his cheeks, eyes half lidded. Blitz popped the lid on the lube, drizzling it down the crack of Striker’s ass which elicited a hiss from the other imp followed by further struggling.

“Hold the fuck still damn it! I don’t want to hurt you,” Blitz groused trailing two fingers through the lube between Striker’s ass cheeks and across his entrance.

“Fuck you! I told Ya…I don’t ta~ Shit!” Striker jerked as Blitz pressed a single finger into him causing a little burning sensation.

Blitz pulled Striker’s shirt up so he could plant kisses along his lower back just above the base of Striker’s tail, slowly working the pale imp open using one finger then two…three…soon Striker was slowly thrusting his hips forwards in search of friction. Blitz pulled from Striker’s ass and for just a moment he could have sworn the outlaw whimpered in disappointment a fact that made Blitz smile wider while taking out his own dick, slicking it with more lube. Blitz moved right behind Striker grabbing one hip with one hand while guiding his cock with the other to between Striker’s cheeks.

“Oh…Fuck! Blitz…” Striker growled as Blitz managed to press the head of his cock into Striker’s tight entrance.

“Shit! Your fucking tight…” Blitz cursed under his breath

“B-Blitz…Shit…I can’t…” Striker stammered out through clenched teeth as his breathing became extremely ragged.  

“Hey, hey, hey, easy…easy…hush.” Blitz shushed as he gently caressed the hand on Striker’s hip up to his back where he rubbed small circles with his thumb at the base of Striker’s tail while simply sitting still. A few moments passed and Striker’s breathing evened out while his muscles relaxed allowing Blitz to slide little by little into him.

Taking another moment to adjust Blitz slid slowly out before pressing just as slowly back in only to repeat this rhythm. Striker was moaning softly making Blitz huff a small laugh after all for someone who apparently doesn’t take it Striker sure was enjoying taking his but he would be an ass about that later. Over time Blitz sped up his pace noting how Striker started straining against his binds again with deep grunts and groans now spilling from his chest telling Blitz that the pale imp beneath him was close. Repositioning ever so slightly Blitz snaked his hand down underneath Striker’s body to wrap around the neglected member hanging there slicked with pre-cum, jerking in rhythm with his hips Blitz pulled out some louder delicious groaning moans from Striker.

“Fu-ck…Blitz…I-I’m…” Striker managed to pant out

“Yep, me too,” Blitz retorted still going at a steady pace till Striker stiffened then shuddered, cum spilling all over Blitz’s hand. Blitz only took a few more moments after that to finish as well making a point to shove into Striker before releasing, head dipping to the nape of Striker’s neck where he bit down hard causing Striker to breathlessly cry out.

“Blitz…shit!” Striker cursed under his breath

“Yeah, that’s…what…they all…say…” Blitz smugly panted as he slid out, undoing Striker’s wrists before getting up on unsteady legs to get to the bed, falling backwards onto it.

“Shut…the fuck up,” Striker breathed out pushing up only to fall onto the bed on his back next to Blitz.

Ten minutes passed before both parties had regained their senses, crawling sorely up the bed till they both sat against the headboard. Blitz pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his pants pocket along with a lighter then tapped out one, tipping the package towards Striker afterwards who accepted one. They both lit their cigarettes while relishing in their post sex highs.

“You know for someone whose never bottomed you seem to have enjoyed it,” Blitz smirked with a deep exhale of smoke.

“Fuck off! Don’t think it’ll happen again…I won’t be able to sit for a week,” Striker groused also exhaling a puff of smoke.

“That was the idea, and you won’t be able to forget who did it to you either,” Blitz’s smirk grew ten-fold as he gestured to the nape of his own neck.

“Wha… No! You fuckin’…BLITZ!” Striker barked out as he managed to push up on his elbows just enough to see himself in the vanity mirror that sat across from the bed revealing a lovely red bite mark firmly planted in his nape.

“You deserved it,” Blitz snickered

“This isn’t gonna fade for weeks! People are gonna think I’m some submissive lil’ bitch!” Striker fumed

“Aren’t you?” Blitz teased again

“Augh! For fuck’s sake! Ya really are a piece of shit,” Striker growled as he settled back down with another long drag from his cigarette.  

Blitz laughed aloud again then reached over to caress his fingers over the fresh bite he’d left, reveling in the shudder it elicited from Striker. The two stayed for hours on the bed mostly in silence only making the odd snarky remark towards one another until morning began to break at which point Blitz got cleaned up, dressed and saluted as he left the motel leaving Striker with a snarky smirk on his face and a pain literally in his ass.

#Helluva boss #Helluva boss fanfiction #Helluva boss fanfic #helluva boss striker #Helluva boss Blitzo #Striker #Blitzo #Striker/Blitzo #Bottom Striker #Top Blitzo #Smut #humor

[ukiyokki]

mars reads too much dreamnotfound fanfiction for their own good

a dreamnotfound fanfic recommendation list by your resident dumbass (me)

this took way to fucking long... i’m tired

below is a (very extensive) list dedicated to all my favorite dnf fics, ranging from quick one shots to 100k+ word monstrosities that devour the storage on my computer, forever incomplete masterpieces to ongoing works of art, you get the idea. i provided links for each fic/series for your reading pleasure. there will be no smutty/nsfw fics on this list, that’s just not my vibe lmao. this list goes in no particular order, and i’ll update it from time to time when i feel like it. now, without further ado, let us begin.

Heat Waves (complete) by tbhyourelame

(wtf else did you expect, looking at a dnf rec list?) amazingly well written, and while it’s not my favorite dnf fic it’s damn near close. in the midst of a brutal heatwave, a suffering dream comes to terms with the fact that he is desperately in love with his best friend. everything i could say about this fic has already been said by nearly everyone who’s read it, so if you haven’t yet caved into the hype, just go for it. you won’t be disappointed.

Gonna be around (completed) by georgescatcafe

(mc irl) my favorite dnf oneshot to date. just read it, i don’t wanna spoil for you :)

Inferno in the Sky (ongoing)by zairielon

(star wars au) an ongoing star wars au currently clocking in at almost 200k words. need I say more? everything about it absolutely slaps, each chapter is amazingly written, and it’s just good. also, can we just appreciate dream and tubbos dynamic in here? 10/10, amazing, must protecc. oh right, a summary: george, an exiled padawan turned engineer, must return to the jedi temple after attacks on it from an unknown assailant threaten the safety of himself and the other jedi.

Like Magic (ongoing) by KangarooKen, NotGra55 (Gra55)

(harry potter au) the unofficial official dnf harry potter au. we watch the young unlikely wizard pair grow up together throughout their years at hogwarts as they battle good old fashioned wizard racism. beautifully written, incredibly fun and suspenseful, and just an overall blast and a half.

GeorgeNotFound, Son of Poseidon, and the League of Minor Gods (ongoing) by Clichewho_69, Cygnvs, Trash_Kinggg

(percy jackson au) percy jackson au? check. “road trip” (technically quest but u get what i mean)? check. enemies to friends to lovers? check. this fic follows the plot of the lightning theif (albeit loosely), but everything is explained enough where you don’t have to read percy jackson to understand what’s going on. basically after moving to the usa, george gets taken to camp halfblood where he learns that a) gods exist. b) he’s the son of poseidon and c) he needs to prove that he didn’t steal zeus’s master bolt.

Protected (completed) by aenqua

(royalty/camelot au) my favorite piece of dnf media of all time. dubbed the official dnf camelot au, where dream is the heir to the throne and george is a servants son with a secret that couldp get him killed. these childhood friends grow up together and learn trust, love, and acceptance. (that summary did not justice to the masterpiece that is this fic) here’s the directors cut

The Hunter (completed) by HederEgo

(mc irl) a choose your own adventure fic with 13 different endings, where dream the hunter must kill george and stop him from beater the ender dragon. enough said.

The official dream team cowboy AU (series)(ongoing) by antsu_in_my_pantsu

(cowboy au) cowboys and outlaws horses and shit. and the big gay. it’s a cowboy au, what else did you expect? fucking yee haw (all seriousness this is a great read, i loved it so so so so much and i can’t wait for the final chapter to release).

This is a Drista moment, let's just accept it (completed) by Qekyo

dnf fic from drista pov. considering its unique perspective, it’s perfectly done. beautifully showcases a sibling relationship through drista and her memories/moments with dream, and it just works, y’a know? also drista supremacy.

Dear Dream (completed) by Qekyo

(wwii au) i don’t cry when watching/reading anything sad. translation: i’m a heartless bitch. however, this fic is the only exception. it caused me to cry so hard my mom walked in my room and asked if i was ok. ‘nuff said.

TECHNOlogical Wingman (completed) by Closeted_Bookworm

techno is the autocorrect ai on dreams phone, and he gains sentience. interesting concept, and the author fucking nailed it. great fic.

It Was Only a Fic (ongoing) by imagineitdear

dream starts reading a dnf fanfic (we’ve all been there buddy).

Teacher’s Pet (ongoing) by niyuha

(teacher au) in which dream is a high school english teacher and george is the new comp sci teacher in room 297.

Saltwater Secrets (ongoing) by earlgay_milktea

(mermaid/high school au) a great example of the shear amount of variety in fics this fandom has to offer. when i started reading dnf fics i would have never thought i’d find one about a mermaid george hopelessly crushing on his human friend, who happens to be his schools star swimmer. yet here i am, and i am far from disappointed.

Smash My Heart (incomplete) by dontrollthedice

george and sapnap are commentators for duper smash brothers tournaments, and george develops a crush on an up and coming smash streamer named dream.

roleplaying in the dark is harder than it seems (completed) by Alienu

laser tag. 10/10

solar system (completed) by quartzfia

(mc irl) george vists dream in pandora’s vault.

Ramblings of a Lunatic (completed) by jungkooksfic

ahh communicating through a notebook left on a shelf in a bookstore- what a perfect way to start a relationship.

Paint me like your French Girls (It's Charcoal, Actually) (completed) by Turtle_ier

(artist au) george is an art student, and dream is a model.

00:00:00 (completed) by isleofdreams

(soulmate au) 00:00:00 is the moment you meet your soulmate, as indicated but the clock ticking down on your wrist until the moment you meet. i’m not a fan of soulmate aus; this fic is the exception.

Blue Skies Smilin' At Me (completed) by kivy

(artist au) i don’t usually cry while reading stuff, but this brought me damn near close. george is a painting conservator and chats it is with the ghost of the artist if the painting he is working on. they fall in a love.

Current Location (incomplete) by hendollana

(influencer au) george simps for a hot american instagram model. who knew he’d actually follow back?

The Withering (series) (series ongoing, 1 work completed) by App1e_Juice

(mc irl) lore and world building and fight scenes and everything i crave. what’s not to love? something starts making the plants and crops around dreams village wither, and must team up with new friends to find the cause of the mysterious disease plaguing the land.

Minecraft, But You Can't Leave (complete) by facadecake

(mc irl) dream and george are sucked into their own private minecraft world together and must beat the game to escape.

Free The Game, Beat the End (incomplete) by goatgoatwasfound

(mc irl) a glitch in minecraft causes thousands of players from around the world to be trapped inside minecraft, with only one way of escape- beating the ender dragon. first dnf fic i ever read, and it’s still 10/10 for me.

Why don't you come a little closer? (completed) by lifeofandoms

george gets stood up by a date, and Dream pretends he’s the date to save george from the embarrassment. simply adorable.

lightning bug (completed) by saintachesP

(band au) while on tour, dream realizes his feeling for george.

Hold me closer (completed) by Treesofmyheart

(mc irl/dsmp) i just,, really like this trope.

Dizzy on caffeine (completed) by GleamingGreenGoggles

(coffee shop au) best dnf coffeeshop au i’ve read. periodt.

living a life of crime isn’t always easy (series) (completed) by itisjosh

(mafia/assassin au) stockholm syndrome except it’s not weird.

Inhibitions Make Interesting Situations (completed) by Ship_On_The_Sea

i pissed myself laughing. it’s just a dream and george being hilariously dense, flustered idiots. serotonin central.

thy eternal summer shall not fade (completed) by gracequills

(high school au) that moment when you recite shakespeare to your crush in your ap lit class instead of confessing (hate it when that happens).

All is Fair in love and Football (ongoing) by graciegirl2001

(college au) #1 favorite college au. in which george is a cheerleader, and dream is the football teams rising star player. this one gets extra points because of the amazing karlnap moments sprinkled throughout. *chefs kisses air*

online love (completed) by andbutso

(high school au) online classes go zoooooooom

Can’t help falling (completed) by isleofdreams

dream re-learns the guitar to sing to george on his birthday. beautiful. fluffy. amazing

dance in the rain and my arms (completed) by lazy_kitkat

george is a rain god, and dream is a wind god

Weather Boy (completed) by DaintyDiizzle

wouldn't you like to know, weather boy? (where dream can control the rain)

The color orange (completed) by anon

(mc irl) dream describes the colors of a sunset

Family Mode (completed)by Strawberry_flavoured_tears

they’re dads :,)

Breathing Room (incomplete) by papercranes

(band an) an amazing band au. the mad lad author wrote original songs for each chapter. above and beyond, mad props :). unfortunately, it’s incomplete

Piece of Clay (completed) by carbonbrine

(artist au) george is a sculptor and his sculpture comes to life- but oh no he’s hot.

Try (completed) by Not4typicalwriter

(royalty au) george must choose a suitor, but none of them are up to dream, his head knights, standards. or dream is hella jelly. also protective dream is perfect

When the Roses Bloom (completed) by HederEgo

(royalty au) close second for my favorite fic. go to royalty au for a quick serotonin bost. it’s all fluff and flowers and crushes, and i love it. criminally underrated.

Heavenstruck (ongoing) by dontrollthedice

george is dreams guardian angel, and dream want to find out more about him and his past life. bittersweet :,)

Bang and Burn (completed) by App1e_Juice

(spy au) george accidentally falls for target number 1 on sapnap’s secret agency’s hit list. this ones great, i love me a spy au :)

Can I get a uhh… (completed) by lemonskies

dream keeps pulling up to the drive through mcdonald’s that george works at drunk.

Pretty Stranger (completed) by anon

when looking for dream in the terminal, george sees a cute guy and decides to flirt.

Take my Hand (completed) by latinbias

(royalty au) another royalty au? poggers. surprise twists? double poggers. love this a lot.

seconds, minutes, hours, lifetimes (complete) by meridies

ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP ROAD TRIP *inhales to compose herself* roadtrip au. unrequited love, ignored feelings, longing, pining, you know the drill. absolutely love this one, its the best roadtrip au i have ever read, in any fandom. (maybe cause i identify with it a little too much, but thats not important. whats important is that you read this fic. right now. im waiting).

Message redacted (complete) by justyouraverageloser

(text fic) dream asks for a girls number and realises hes been given the wrong number. however, an unexpected relationship starts to form between him and the stranger on the other end of the line.

the waves (completed) by anon

(mc irl) this fic was written by the same anon who wrote the color orange, which is up there on my fav dnf oneshot list. dream and george know they have a higher purpose. they don’t know where they came from, or why they are seemingly the only humans in the world, or how they feel about eachother, or even where the skeletons come from, but they are sure of one thing: they have to beat a dragon.

The Dream Doll (completed) by PeppDream (Pep_Pizza)

(voodoo i guess) i’m a real big fan of fics with really out there or unique concepts, so naturally this one makes the cut! i really liked it, it’s really sweet and made me think a lot about what matters to me in the world. george finds a strange doll in an antique shop, and would really like to just stuff it in a drawer and forget about it. sadly (?), the doll has other plans.

last updated February 6th, 2021

#dnf #dreamnotfound #dream not found #dreamnotfound fic #dreamnotfound fanfic #dreamnotfound fanfiction #dnf fic #dnf fanfic #dnf fanfiction #dnf fic rec #dreamnotfound fanfiction recommendations #dreamwastaken #georgenotfound #i’m ok i swear #i read too much fanfiction #i should probably go to bed

[shootingstarwritings]

FEStival Fiasco

Part 2

Part 1, Prologue

You’re Gonna Carry that Weight

Before the competition, the students were given time to research the cultures of the planet they would soon infiltrate. For Centaurus, what interested him the most was the cowboy. He had obsessively watched several spaghetti westerns and read many books detailing the rugged outlaws that prowled the western United States.

To Centaurus, the cowboy embodied freedom. He was a gallant legend that wandered the land, not caring about class or even order he dispensed justice wherever he went. He proudly carried himself with his smooth-talking ways and underhanded tricks that resonated so strongly with Centaurus. At least, that was the image that Centaurus had carved into his mind. I want to be like that. Not a worm, but a cowboy.

Now, staring a real-life cowboy at one of the food stalls in the early festival hours, he found himself unable to even utter a word.

“Uh, ya see somethin’ ya like?” The man said with a carefree grin. As soon as the cowboy spoke up, Centaurus jumped in his seat. He was still in Ken’s body, but the man’s memory and charisma completely failed. Even his own natural talent fizzled out.

“Um, yeah—no, wait, shit! Didn’t mean it like that,” said Centaurus, now pointedly looking away. He couldn't recall a time when he had gotten this flustered. What was happening to him? “Forget about it, all right?”

The stall owner arched an eyebrow at the two, but she didn’t say anything. She simply served their food with a polite nod.

Centaurus meant to walk away and crawl in a hole, but the cowboy stepped right in his way. Clad in a flannel shirt and a cowboy hat, he wore both his clothes and expression with unrivaled charisma. “Howdy,” he said, carefully enunciating the word.

“H-Hey...”

“C’mon! No need to be shy. Walk with me.” Seeing no reason to decline, Centaurus allowed himself to be guided around by this man straight out of his fantasies. “Name’s Austin,” he introduced himself. “Southern boy by birth and trade. You?”

“C-Cent,” was as far Centaurus said before clamming up again.

“Cent? Funny li’l name,” Austin said with a laugh. “Cute, tho. Like, rolls off the tongue real nice.” His tongue licked his lips just the slightest bit as he spoke. Centaurus nearly melted right then and there.

“So, what caught yer eye?” said Austin.

“Oh, uh, guess… how out there you are,” Centaurus said, mentally kicking himself as the conversation drew on. He had walked into this conversation flat-footed and tumbled in just about every exchange. His heart was racing, and his whole body burned with a desire he couldn't snuff out. “You’re eye-catching, is all I can say.”

Austin leaned in, grinning as he said, “Think I’m more than that to ya. Yer startin’ to pitch a tent, y’know,” with a wink. Centaurus grit his teeth, cursing under his breath as he looked down at himself. Austin continued, saying, “C’mon, let’s get ya somewhere more discreet ‘fore security kicks ya outta this place.”

Without waiting for a response, Austin took Centaurus’ hand and dragged him away from the festival. “Don’t worry, I ain’t roomin’ with any folks,” he said, head bopping back and forth as though he was humming a song to himself. “We’ll be private.”

“I-If you say so,” said Centaurus.

They arrived soon afterward. On occasion, Centaurus caught a few stares from the various guests that ate from the continental breakfast, but he didn’t worry about that. Now he was alone in the cowboy’s room. As he sat on the foot of the bed, he noticed that there was what he figured was the scent of the great southern frontier. Austin was here for merely a day, and already his scent had marked the room.

“It’s my candle,” said Austin, excitedly gesturing to a container with a candle decorated with a tiny, smiling cowboy inside. “Friend o’ mine gave it to me ‘fore I left. Said it’d keep the ranch in my heart,” he said. “Always a romantic, that girl, bless her heart. But still, always makes these sterile rooms feel a li’l bit more like home.” Home…

“How come you left?” said Centaurus.

“Yer a noisy one, ain’tcha?” Austin said, not dropping his smile. “Guess it felt like it was high time fer me to just...travel, y’know? Spent my whole life on the ranch. Felt like I had to break away ‘n’ find m’own path. Wanted to sorta find something. Myself, maybe. Headed to this town and chatted a friend up from my childhood. Planned on goin’ to the festival together, but he got hit hard with the flu. So I walked ‘round the place, lookin’ fer somethin’ to do.”

“And that’s when you picked me up?”

Austin chuckled. “Well, wouldn’t put it like that. ‘d rather call it sweepin’ ya off yer feet, my friend.”

“And you call your friend a romantic,” Centaurus said, tittering to himself. Uneasiness long forgotten, he continued to chat away and talk with Austin until the two of them fell back onto the bed together, slowly undressing. “I’ve never done this with a cowboy before, I gotta admit.”

“Well, I ain’t just a cowboy, Cent. I’m Austin.”

Yeah, Centaurus thought, you’re Austin. What lied before him was no longer a cowboy—a character he so fondly thought of. Instead, it was a man that found him, for whatever reason, charming. “Come here,” said Centaurus, lying down on top of Austin. He could hear his heart gently beating. You’re wonderful.

Centaurus, fully nude, spread his legs. Austin first started by teasing his hole with a finger, then his tongue. “Gonna do this right,” he said in-between his tongue teases. “I ain’t gonna hurt ya. Promise.” Centaurus just nodded, trembling with anticipation. His legs quivered with just the foreplay.

However, the teasing went on for far too long. His hole, initially tingling with pleasure, now felt played with and empty. “Oh, just fuck me already,” Centaurus moaned.

“Beg a li’l more,” Austin said.

“Please, Austin. Tear me in two already.”

“Nah, nah, that ain’t want I’m lookin’ fer.” Austin raised himself and lied on top of Centaurus’ chest with a smirk on his face. “Ask me for a lovin’. Something so sweet yer tight li’l ass will never forget.”

Swallowing, Centaurus said, “Make love to me, Austin. Make me forget about my fucking life,” and Austin complied.

Austin softly whispered, “Yer moans’re so hot,” and, “cry harder for me...” as he pounded Centaurus. “So cute, Cent,” he said before groaning in pleasure as well as he sped up.

Centaurus nearly fainted as he felt Austin fuck him. “Oh, fuck,” he groaned, biting down on his knuckles. As soon as Austin said his name, he shut his eyes and allowed himself to indulge in that fantasy. There was no Ken, no competition, nothing except himself and this man who didn’t feel like a stranger anymore.

“God, fuck, yer so damn tight, Cent!” Austin cried out as he drew back and slammed into Centaurus with wild abandon. “Moan more fer me, c’mon!” he said, pumping Centaurus’ dick as he fucked him.

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck fuck fuck! Sh-Shit, I’m cumming…!”

Austin took that opportunity to lean in and hungrily kiss Centaurus, who reciprocated. He drank in as much of Austin’s heavy pants and scent as he could. After so many times of hearing another name with a partner, it was nice to feel as though he didn’t have to pretend. He lied bare to this man who miraculously knew so little about him, and it was so liberating.

Centaurus’ midsection tightened, and then he came sticky ropes onto Austin’s chest. The two groaned into each other’s mouths as they came together.

“Maybe it’s just the high I got, but… I love yer company, Cent.”

In-between pants, Centaurus said, “I feel the same way, Austin,” and desperately wished he meant every word. He knew this had nothing to do with the mission or his desire to finally build his career, but he still wished this would last forever.

“What’s the matter, Cent? Yer lookin’ a bit down.”

“Not sure. I… I seriously don’t know.”

“Well, dunno if this makes ya feel any better but, I thought yer pretty nice company if I do say so myself,” said Austin with a small, charming smile.

However, Centaurus still thought about her. Zathina’s bitter and hateful expression remained in the back of his mind. He could still feel her shoe nearly crushing his windpipe. “You’re wasting time,” he imagined her saying with that sneer of hers. Alongside her sickening voice was the word worm over and over again like it was branded directly into his brain. “Indulging in these nonsensical things,” the voice continued, “you’re pathetic. Looks like the winner is clear. I suppose you truly are a worm after all.”

“Kiss me,” said Centaurus.

“Hmm?” Austin hummed, surprised at his sudden interruption.

Not waiting for an answer, Centaurus wrapped an arm around Austin’s neck and pulled him in for a long, deep kiss. “Mmm, mmm!” Austin didn’t initially fight back until he felt something slipping in through his mouth.

Centaurus disconnected himself from Ken’s brain, leaving behind some toxic behind, and quickly slithered into Austin’s open, vulnerable mouth. Eventually, Austin pushed an unconscious Ken off, but it was already too late. The alien was already making its way through his mouth and into his brain. Austin tried to grab at the alien, but he failed to get a grasp. He fell back onto the bed and began to convulse as pleasure and fear overrode his entire body.

Switching host was always a dizzying experience for Centaurus. Not only because looking at his host body disoriented him with the raping changing of faces, but because there remained a little bit of himself in them.

“Wake up,” Centaurus commanded Ken. Wordlessly, Ken sat up in the bed. “Go home to your partner. Don’t even look at me.” Ken nodded and began to leave. “Put your clothes on first! Animal...”

For all members of his kind, the toxic vanishes from the host after about 20 minutes. Ken would be back to normal with little recollection of what he did. The experience that Ken went through would be forgotten. Same with Austin when Centaurus eventually left. Even if by some twist of fate they crossed paths again, Centaurus would be the only one left with that moment in his memories.

He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and saw no trace of the man that he shared that tender moment with. No matter how much Centaurus tried to laugh, frown, or even cry, he could no longer see Austin anymore. All that the mirror reflected was a worm pretending to be a man. He was alone.

#male possession #alien possession #cowboy possession #DILF possession #possession #festival fiasco

[rodeoxqueen]

DEVIL MAY GRIND

(I)- Can You Touch This? 

Dante/ AMAB! Reader

Series Summary:  From a surprise rendezvous to a male strip club on your birthday to a private dance, you end up seeing eye-to-eye rather than eye-to-groin with a cowboy stripper named Dante Sparda.

Work Summary: A shy and short homebody celebrating your birthday with friends, you end up somewhere you’d never expect: a male strip club. And what you’d also never expect is a certain red-devil/cowboy stripper to lay his special treatment on you.

Tags/Warnings:18+, AMAB! Reader, Stripper!AU, Minors Do Not Try It, Wholesome Filth

Rodeo’s Two-Pieces: And after months, Rodeo presents the male version of this soon-to-be filth. *tilts cowboy hat over eyes and leans in seat*

You were never one for large crowds, alcohol, loud music, and nudity. So what a mess you were in, your friends dragging you into a strip club.

It wasn’t your fault, they promised you were all going for a quiet dinner at your favorite restaurant. No loud noises, no crowds, and especially, you didn’t even know why you had to specify, no naked guys! That’s what happened at first. You went and blew out your candles on your cake at a nice place, but then things got weird. Your friends had got you thoughtful gifts, except one of them who promised to give it to you after another “surprise.”

They practically herded you to their car, blindfolding and ear-muffing you while giggling. After driving in some unfamiliar directions, you were pulled into a strange building.

So when you couldn’t hear your thoughts due to the overbearing bass in the room you were in, you realized you should’ve known better. The blindfold and earmuffs were taken off and you opened your eyes to a neon-lit room with the most hard-cut abs right in your face.

“A strip club?! W-why would you think I’d want to go to a strip club?”

“Okay, first of all (Y/N). It’s a male strip club. Second, come on! I know you want to touch some diamond abs!” One of your friends exclaimed as they threw bills at one very tan and very oiled-up man named Diego. The box from before landed on your lap, and you unwrapped it to find a giant stack of dollar bills.

“Now stuff them bills down some hottie’s pants!”

The orange thong-wearing male with the most defined quads you had ever glanced at winked at your friend and opted to dance on someone else. Clutching your drink, you swallowed thickly as other males who went to the gym every other hour thrust their hips proactively at you.

Your friends had called ahead and bought the lot of you a table to the stage, much to your chagrin.

Luckily, your ability to disappear in a room, with your meek personality and small stature, came in handy in these situations. The tall and buff guys your friends screamed over seemed to prefer the company of the more extroverted and thirsty. While other tables farther from the stage had easy contact with the not-themed strippers, you were all confronted with the stage floor dancers.

“My god, how many themes do these guys dress in?” You squeaked as an entertainer dressed like James Bond (minus the clothes except for the bowtie and gun holster) ground on the stage floor.

“Not enough! Now make it rain, (Y/N).” Another friend demanded as she took another shot.

You made a noise as your hand was forcibly placed onto an eight-pack. You quickly threw a wad of bills at the man and ran off to the bar.

“I gotta go!” You panicked, speed-walking to the bar in your favorite pair of dressy sneakers. Stomach quivering, you put a few bills down and asked for a stronger drink. Maybe you could pass out on the table and your friends would feel bad and take you home.

You sighed as you watched your friends have the time of their lives, although they noted your absence.

“First time?” The bartender asked, sliding your fruity drink to you. You fiddled with the napkin. A woman posed in the corner with the logo “Devil May Cry” to the side of her, all lined in neon pink.

“Oh!... Yeah, it is.” You mumbled shyly. You blushed at his blue-eyed stare. Luckily, he wore a collared white shirt so you could look at him without bleeding out of your nose. He was very handsome, with rugged features and slight facial hair. His stark white hair shined even in the dim lighting.

“Ah, could tell. Watched you get dragged in here.” He chuckled.

“I-I was tricked, first of all!” You exclaimed, tucking some hair behind your ear.

“It’s alright. Your next rounds on me if you stay a lil longer.” He winked, wiping a glass. A few other people came and went, requesting all sorts of raunchy-titled drinks. Despite that, he leaned on the table where you sat, making idle conversation.

“I’m Dante.”

“Nice to meet you, Dante. I’m (Y/N).” You impulsively stuck your hand out to shake and stilled at his strong and warm grip.

He whistled.

“Nice name for a nice man. It’s your birthday right?” You nodded.

“What did you wish for?”

“Peace and quiet.” He laughed at that, gesturing to your friends who screamed and clapped at a dark-skinned stripper who ripped off his pants.

“With those friends?” He chuckled.

“They’re a lot more restrained. This is an exception.” You whined.

The conversation grew longer. You learned that Dante worked here with his twin brother Vergil. He loved pizza and strawberry ice cream, along with nice motorcycles. A total manly man, if you asked yourself.

You found a safe space talking to him since you didn’t have to look at nude guys with your back turned.

You were hoping to talk the night away until a similarly white-haired male with a serious glare rounded the corner.

Swiping back a few stray hairs, the esteemed brother Vergil knocked the smile off his twin’s face.

“You fool! Your shift has been over for some time now.” He snapped. Dante rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, this is old douchebag.” You giggled at his comment, quickly stopping when meeting eyes with the frigid twin.

“Have you been speaking ill of me? I will-” Dante threw a towel at his brother’s face before leaving the bartending station. By leaving, he jumped over the counter.

“Hey, (Y/N), nice talking to you. I’ll see you later.” The white-haired man left to the employee’s room.

“Alright-” You muttered. You’d sit, but Vergil’s cold glare prompted you to leave and rejoin your friends.

“Where were you? Chatting up the bartender?”

“Look at you. Being social in a strip club.” They teased.

After a few more dancers, you couldn’t help but miss the blue-eyed bartender with his quips and casual flirtiness.

Suddenly, the music and lights went off. The crowd stirred. Your friend grabbed your arm.

“Oh boy, they’re gonna need a mop after this.”

“Ew!” You cried out. Your friends sang that one horribly sexual song from the radio. Something about parking a truck in a garage and about wet-

A shirtless DJ grabbed the mic.

“And now, for our next entertainer, we have the Legendary Lady Killer. Hold onto your panties and your wedding rings, you’re all in for the ride of your life.”

The lights were turned back on from back to front. On stage, stood a muscular man with a cowboy hat and shawl. His legs were perfectly framed by black leather chaps and boots. You turned as red as his shawl as you could see his formidable bulge from yards across.

His spurs clinked on the floor as people began to cheer at his physique. Your jaw dropped in shock.

White hair.

“Ladies and gents, I got some questions for y’all.” He drawled, lowering his hat.

“Yes! I’m single!” Someone yelled from the back. He chuckled as others screamed with agreement.

“That’s nice ma’am. But really, I got three questions.” He made his way down the stage, his shadow covering your table.

He palmed his chest and abs, showing white chest hairs and slicked-down muscles.

“Can you touch this?” Everyone screamed for yes. He tutted.

“No, no, no.” He waggled his finger. He spun and exposed his lush tush. He was packing it front and back and you blushed while putting your face in your hands.

His hands groped his butt. Even with his giant hands, he still had more ass to spare.

“Can you touch this?” The screams grew louder. He waggled his finger again, wiggling his butt.

“No, no, no.” The crowd awed. He turned back around, a cocky grin on his face.

“Now,” He pointed to the crowd.

His palms groped the leather that concealed his huge package.

“Can you touch this?” Your friend threw a wad of cash at him, hitting him in the nipple. He stood unflinching.

“No, no, no.” He drew out each word.

“These are my laws.” Putting his hands on his hips, he rocked left to right, clicking his spurs.

“But I see a hell of a lot of lawbreakers here tonight.”

He shifted to walk around the chair placed behind him. He sat on it backward, legs spread to place his groin in the spotlight.

“And I don’t see a cop in sight.” He pointed at the DJ.

“Hit it!” Music blaring, he did his number. And boy, was the DJ right to warn you. Dante practically made sweet love to the chair, flipping his head back.

Hips circling and then pistoning the air, sweat trailed down his pecs.

You ended up throwing a few bills, hoping to avoid eye contact. It failed as he slid to his knees to the edge of the stage and crawled off the ledge onto your table. Like a preying tiger, he made his way over to you.

Thank god you had health insurance, your blood pressure was going off the charts.

Your friends lost their heads, throwing bills and screaming like banshees. But he wasn’t interested in them. His eyes preyed after your own, baby blues on an absolute beast.

“Wanna save a horse and ride a cowboy, handsome?” He purred as he traced your jaw. Your skin jumped as you internally imploded. This was was too sensual and people were watching, for goodness sake!

“(Y/N), if you don’t agree I will cancel your Barnes and Noble membership.” Your friend threatened.

“Come on, spare this outlaw some sugar?” You didn’t have a moment to think. Dante threw his hat on your head and carried you onto the table and to the stage.

“Oh my god! Oh my god!” You shrieked.

He ran hot. So hot. Your skin burned at contact with him, pressed up against his chest as he stood you in front of the chair he practically humped.

“Take a seat, sir.” You blushed at his sensual persona, not sure where the kind bartender and the suave cowboy started and ended.

Obediently, you turned the chair around and sat with your ankles crossed. Dante tutted in disapproval.

His hands lingered by your legs.

“May I?” He asked. You shook your head slowly, feeling his callused hands on your thighs. He firmly spread your legs and stood over you on the chair.

As if that wasn’t enough, his arm muscles bulged and twitched as he ripped off his leather chaps. He ripped the chaps. There were no zippers or velcro straps. That was all him!

Your face a hair’s width from his abs, he gently took your hands and traced his pecs with them. He growled and winked at you.

Despite the one-in-a-million situation you were in, you shrank at the many peering eyes of the other women and bar patrons. Your anxiety was seen by Dante, who tilted your head up.

“Hey, it’s alright. Just focus on me. If you’re nervous, just give me a purple nurple or something, alright?” You laughed at his idea of a safe word and nodded.

“Okay, Dante.”

And like that, it was like you pulled a trigger. Dante grinded on your form and explored his peak-conditioned skin with your own hands.

You gasped as he led your hands down his front to his leather shorts. You couldn’t stop looking with widened eyes at his crotch. You had read erotica before, describing the male member in the throes of passion, yet this was the first time you had been this close to anything like those erotic novels.

It was obscene! Why did it seem to get larger? How was he allowed to carry that thing around without a license?!

“Hey, eyes up here.” He teased as you snapped your head up.

“O-oh! Sorry.” You whispered. Your blood had rushed to your head and you had grown deaf to your friends’ yells of validation.

“Grab him by the buns!” One of your friends yelled. Dante turned around to make eye contact with her.

With a grin, he slid your hands to the back. What he didn’t expect was you to squeeze.

“Whoa now, kitty.” He purred. You gave a watery smile.

Suddenly, a water bottle was thrown at his head. With lightning reflexes, he caught it after it bounced off of him.

“Hey! Stage times’ over, you fucking show pony.” A short-haired woman with mismatching eyes called out. Dante scoffed.

“Just givin’ a nice gentleman some lovin’.” He argued.

“No, get off the stage, Dante.”

“Five more minutes?”

“NOW.” He sighed. Getting off of your lap, he kissed your hand that was resting on his thigh. Lord, if you died right now, that’d be fine.

“Glad to have this dance.” He flirted.

“Y-you too.” Taking your hand, he took you for another surprise and swept you off your feet. You squeaked as he handed you to another dancer on the ground. The club-goers cheered as dancers arrived, dressed like businessmen with briefcases.

You were promptly seated, head dizzy from everything that just happened. You watched as he took his leave as if he didn’t just cause you to get feverish from how hot he was. Your friend hugged you.

“Nice work! You were so lucky!” Another friend plucked the hat off your head.

“Ah! He left his hat!” You exclaimed as you took it from her hands.

“A souvenir.”

For the rest of the night, you held onto the hat and traced the red stitching. You never saw Dante for the rest of the night, his brother in charge of the bar service.

Finally, before the last round of dancers, you were tapped on the shoulder. You found yourself staring into much harsher blue eyes.

One of your friends threw money at him, which he growled at.

“I am not an entertainer. Well, not right now.” He explained. He handed you a drink with a napkin on the bottom.

“My buffoon of a brother said to keep the hat. Although, I’m not sure why you would.”

“I-”

“The drink is on the house. Good evening with you all.”

He walked off, and you took your drink. You realized it was the same one you ordered when you got to the bar.

“Hey dude, take a look.” A well-manicured nail pointed to the napkin. You saw in red pen an arrow pointed to the folded corner.

You shakily opened it to reveal a series of numbers and words, along with a card that flitted onto the table.

Tonight was fun, wanna do it again? The card’s for a private dance, just call and ask for Dante Sparda. No crowds, only you and me. No Lady barking up my tree for appreciating beauty either - DS

A little heart with an arrow through its center was scrawled in a corner. You picked up the laminated card and saw it was for a free private dance. Your heart beat out of your chest.

Your friends laughed as you immediately stuck it in your pocket, along with the note. The club closed and you were all ushered out. The night was pitch black when you emerged from the debauchery that was the Devil May Cry strip club.

As your other wasted companions were stuffed into the car, you sat shotgun to the sober and designated driver.

You were silent the car ride home, laying your head against the window. You thought about that white-haired flirt’s remarks and how gentle he was to you.

Waving and embracing your wonderful friends, you left for your apartment with all your gifts. However, the little slips of paper in your pocket weighed the heaviest on your mind.

With your keys in your hand, you climbed up the stairs home.

After closing the door, you slid down the wall and let out a pleased sigh.

“Best birthday ever!” You said to no one in particular. 

#amab reader #dante x reader #dante x male reader #devil may grind #devil may cry

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

And now I’ve watched episode 3 of Walker because of reasons. (You guys asked, that’s reasons.) #2

If you guys haven’t seen part 1, go see it immediately. Because of reasons. This time, reasons is Slutty Glitter Cowboy Stripper. No, it’s not a joke.

Yeah, I’m not sure what’s happening either.

I can’t believe they’re airing cowboy strippers in Supernatural’s air slot and Dean Winchester isn’t there. I think this is why they had to kill Dean, because otherwise he would have ripped through the CW’s show layout and appeared in Walker sponteneously, instantly adopting Walker’s entire family and friends as his own and single-handedly implementing the depolicement of the state of Texas, with Castiel rolling his eyes at him in the background while he murders ICE agents at the US-Mexican border.

*slides the CW a twenty euro bill* so I have an idea for season 2 of Walker

Anyway, there’s this lady Walker and Ramirez are doing a stakeout on, a woman called Torreto who is presumably part of some criminal organization since they’re doing a stakeout on her, and who’s bisexual given she was being entertained by a lady and a guy at a strip club. Which is like, fine, not problematic at all, alright.

So the stripper straddles her and is like ~wanna come with me in the back, and she’s like ~maybe another time, and he’s like ~torreto i saw cops outside you probably wanna come to the back with me, and she’s like ~mmm yeah that sounds like a good idea. We were rooting for you, slutty glitter cowboy stripper! We were all rooting for you! Or not.

Meanwhile, Walker has horrible car manners.

Also, he asks her how her parents were to her growing up, which is a question you normally ask to people you’re not close to when you want to do some small talk. For some reason she brings up a friend she had some ~crazy teen years~ with, called Garrison, which doesn’t make me think of angels in Supernatural, no, I am a normal person.

But then people start coming out of the strip club, but not Torreto. So they go in.

Torreto is not there, so Walker just stops the first person he sees and he’s literally like ~excuse me, do you know if there’s someone in the back. The visual is hilarious

“Excuse me, sir, have you seen my brother from another show, I suspect he might be here”

Give me a spinoff about this strip club.

Anyway, the guys answers, “No, why, you two interested?” to which they immediately answer “no!” at the same time, and share a look which makes me think we’re supposed to be like ~~ooh, talking in unison moment! or something...?

Meanwhile their truck gets stolen, and Walker yells that his bobblehead is in there. Cue disgruntled Jared face.

Oh man. We are at the title card. It’s less than 6 minutes. This will never end.

It was night, now it’s day, and Stella and August are walking around Austin. He’s mimicking David Attenborough, describing the teenagers around them as though he was doing a documentary about animals.

Two girls approach them, bringing up a party that’s taking place tomorrow. She says it’s not the best idea with her court date approaching. The girls are like, your dad can figure something out, he’s an elite ranger or something and also owes you for disappearing for a year. She’s like, he’s being kind of cool, I don’t want to ruin this, and the girls “call BS” because this is like “the best party of the year”.

Ruby, the girl August has been hanging out with, appears and August goes from “nah the party is not my thing” to “I’ll totally be there” in like 0.02 seconds.

I cannot overstate how much I am not interested in high schooler drama.

Meanwhile, at the Walker Seniors’ place, Walker’s parents are preparing the table for a family dinner. From their banter we can infer someone’s who ~is like family although he isn’t “blood”~ is coming for dinner and Grandpa Walker doesn’t like him at all and actually expects the guy to steal their china and bourbon. “It’s been years, could you please give him a chance?” Grandma Walker says, and he accepts, although she grabs the fancy bourbon from behind his back.

Meanwhile, at the police station, all the cops are having a briefing about Torreto, the woman at the strip club. She apparently steals weapons all over Texas and sells them over the border at triple the cost. Remember that Torreto escaped from Walker and Ramirez because she stole their truck while they were inside the strip club. Ramirez is worried she’ll already become the laughingstock of the precinct.

Uh. James plays security camera footage from outside the strip club. Walker and Ramirez’ truck was stolen by Torreto and the cowboy stripper himself.

Obviously the other cops laugh when Ramirez admits it was her truck.

James tells them to find Torreto, find the truck, and find out who the naked cowboy is.

I have a bad feeling about this.

Then Walker drives home, and as soon as he gets out of his car, you know how in the Supernatural pilot Dean gets into Sam’s apartment and wrestles him before revealing it’s him to ~test if his fighting skills are rusty and laughs when Sam realizes it’s him? Alright, now think intensely and guess how Walker’s like-a-brother best friend is introduced. Think intensely! It’s really difficult to guess!

Something something about violence and male intimacy except this is too ridiculous to, you know, write something serious about it.

“Oh, man!” the guy laughs, lying on the ground where Walker threw him. “The look on your face!”

“You son of a-”

“Oh, c’mon man, don’t talk bad of a mother I never knew.”

I’m facepalming soooo hard. This is the first thing we learn about him (well, after the fact that he definitely stole something from the Walkers’ house in the past), that he never knew his mother!

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

GUYS

I AM SO SORRY

I am faceblind I didn’t realize

THE GUY IS THE STRIPPER

I REPEAT

THE “DEAN BUT IN JARED PADALECKI’S MIND” CHARACTER IS THE SLUTTY GLITTER COWBOY STRIPPER

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I SWEAR MY HANDS ARE COLD AND CLAMMY

I AM EXPERIENCING EMOTIONS NO WORDS EXIST IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO DESCRIBE

Oh my god guys. I am so sorry.

“You did your touchdown victory dance before you stole my partner’s truck!” Walker exclaims. “I should arrest you right here and right now!”

The guy acts like he has no idea what Walker is talking about, and says he’s in town to see his best pal.

Walker keeps accusing him, but then his mother appears, super thrilled to see him, and Walker lets is go.

They’re at dinner (NotDean brought wagyu steaks, which obviously means he does crime for a living) and Walker’s mother tells him to say grace, which he does in a semi-serious, semi-mocking way. Obviously NotDean does not believe in god, but he’s grateful for the people around him.

Stella calls him uncle, in case you missed that this is supposed to be a friend whom Walker loves likeabrother.

He talks about jobs he did here and there, and Walker and his brother tease him asking if he’s been to some prisons around the country. Stella doesn’t get the joke and NotDean explains it to her, adding, “now, from what I hear, I’m not the only outlaw in this family”. Grandpa Walker leaves the room.

NotDean asks Stella if she’s going to the bonfire (the party they were talking about earlier) and tells her that her mother started the thing when they were young. She didn’t know that. This is supposed to be a Meaningful moment.

Meanwhile the stolen truck is found... at Walker’s ranch. Gasp! What a shocking turn of events.

NotDean gives Stella advice on how to act in court to get on the judge’s good graces, “which means acting”. “Please don’t get legal advice from a criminal” walker’s brother Liam says. Is the gay brother also a NotDean of sorts, to be fair? Well, CriminalNotDean tells her to dress her best and cry. ActualbrotherNotDean tells her to use the correct legal arguments. Walker just stops them, quoting something Ramirez said earlier in the episode, “nobody benefits from the easy route”. Stella is like, what does that mean, which, mood, but Grandma Walker interrupts bringing in a plate of different hot chilis. Apparently they have a tradition of a competition. Which we don’t even see. Boo.

Ramirez finds the truck... right outside the Walkers’ house. Grandpa Walker, who’d gone outside, points a rifle to her and she explains what she’s doing there. They introduce themselves and she is like, sir why is the man who stole my truck inside your house? “Wife invited him to dinner.”

She’s like, I need to arrest him. But he’s like, I bet there’s not enough evidence to arrest him, or my son would have done it. Join me for steak and burbon in the bunkhouse! As one does. So they have wagyu and bourbon together, and she asks him what’s the guy’s story.

So NotDean and Walker grew up together, NotDean had a rough life, “my wife has a soft spot for strays, she can’t give up on him”. But Grandpa Walker doesn’t feel the same. He tells her that she cannot arrest him tonight, but it’s only a matter of time before the guy gives her enough rope. He adds that Walker has a blind spot for faces from the past, and needs someone to fix that.

Meanwhile dinner’s over and NotDean calls a uber. He and Walker arrange to meet the next day and hang out like old times. Eventually, Walker tells him that if he is involved in this case, he will have to take him down. “Theoretically, if you catch me.” They do a manly hug with manly pats, and the guy leaves. “Theoretically, go to hell,” Walker says after he’s left.

The next day, NotDean brings Walker to a storage in the middle of nowhere... full of cursed objects, no wait, wrong show. What’s inside the storage is the red Mustang. Walker is shocked that he hasn’t lost it in some bet - which apparently is how he got the car from Walker in the first place. Now NotDean says that, after everything Walker’s been through, he deserves a chance to win it back.

Glowy flashback of Walker and his wife in the car, right after the scene in the beginning of the episode. They bet it during poker night, decision of Emily, because Walker is “starting to get attached to her”. Emily teases him for calling the car a she, and Walker decides to call the car Stella.

They gave their daughter the name of a car they lost at poker.

Oh. She tells him she’s pregnant.

So, apparently, they had their first daughter when they were broke, to the point they had to try and get money at poker for a bigger place and baby things. That’s... kind of irresponsible.

Meamwhile, Ramirez goes to James to tell him about the thing, but James already figured NotDean was involved, because apparently stealing things and returning them is just something he does. “Why are you so calm about this?” she asks. He says because they cannot pin anything on him. Questioning him could scare the big crime lady. So he tells her to just keep an eye on him. “Walker, Torreto or Hoyt [NotDean]” she asks. “Yes” he answers.

Blah blah. I apologize, I’m being too detailed. I’m just bored by this. Ah, a butcher’s truck was stolen right after the strip club thing, guess where NotDean got the wagyu steaks.

Walker and NotDean go to the bar with the bartender who’s their friend, and NotDean flirts with her. They start playing poker, when Ramirez arrives, and has some banter with NotDean and spills some glitter on him that she found in the truck. He buys her a drink and she arrests him for trying to bribe a police officer. Walker is shocked.

At the precinct, he says they cannot prove he’s working with big crime lady. But she brings up he stole the wagyu steaks.

She calls him out for trying to be everyone’s friend even if they do something wrong, also with Stella.

She says she can hold NotDean for 24 hours, long enough to figure out the big crime lady’s plans. Common trope in cop shows. Arrest someone without proof, you have to release them after 24 hours, but the cop finds proof and bam, forgiven for arresting someone without proof.

I know you’re bored, I’m bored too.

Actually, nope, it goes differently and kind of worse. In the interrogation room, Ramirez offers NotDean a deal: he tells her where the big crime lady’s weapon deal is happening, and walks free. He points the location on a map and he compliments her. Walker is watching from the cameras and is shook.

Meanwhile the bonfire is happening, and Stella is there with her girl friends. So is August, breakdancing to impress girls. We don’t care.

Meanwhile, a lot of cops in serious cop gear surround the location NotDean pointed at. Nobody’s there, though.

What is there, is the red Mustang with the creepy bobblehead in it and a letter from NotDean that says he gives him the car back because it was always his wife’s.

Walker figures out where the deal is actually happening - the storage where the red Mustang was before.

Meanwhile, at the bonfire, August is drunk on booze he stole from Grandpa Walker and brought to the party. He asks Stella if she’s trying to drive their father away, breaking the law and all, he asks if she wants him to leave again. Then he throws up. She calls Walker but he obviously doesn’t answer. So she calls her uncle, who’s doing shopping with his partner or something. They’re buying cake? Doing cake testing for their wedding? Maybe.

Meanwhile, NotDean calls Grandma Walker to tell her he cannot go mushroom hunting with her tomorrow but needs to leave town, and he’s sorry to let her down again. She tells him that just because his family’s bad, doesn’t mean he is too. “You saved my boy, and I’ll never forget that” she says. Oooh, that’s so intriguing!, nobody says. They share a cute moment and then he hangs up, while the weapon deal goes down around him.

Uncle Liam and his partner pick up the kids, and Stella asks him if he’ll be in court with her tomorrow. He says he can’t, because it’s her father’s decision to make.

August turns up music and they all sing in the car. It’s funny how everyone’s got better chemistry with everyone else except with Walker. I know it’s, like, on purpose for plot reasons, but still, Walker’s interactions with everyone feel so stilted compared to anyone else. And it’s not the other characters are that compelling.

The police arrives at the location of the weapon deal, and NotDean gets arrested trying to steal the truck again. Ramirez gives a speech how that’s hard but it’s the right thing to do. Walker makes a comment about tough love, implying Stella needs to get that too.

The next day, they leave for Stella’s court thing on the red Mustang. It took Walker three episodes, but now they also have a cool classic car to show off! Yay! *eyeroll*

Meanwhile, Grandma Walker and Grandpa Walker have a conversation about their failing marriage or something.

Ramirez goes to the bar to apologize to the bartender for arresting NotDean. They have a drink together and if lesbians were watching this they’d start shipping them, but no lesbians are watching this. They’re wiser than me.

Stella got like a gazillion hours of community service and her license suspended. She’s upset, but since she has her license for one more day he teaches her how to drive the Mustang.

Wait. Americans don’t learn to drive normal cars when they get their license?? They only learn to drive cars with automatic gear?? What the hell??

They drive while August runs after the car to get over his hangover or something.

Would be a cute moment if the entire thing wasn’t so cheesy and weird.

Well. We know NotDean is a recurring role so we’ll see more of him. (Well, I’m not sure I will be there to watch, because this is boring af.)

This episode used all its interest coins in the strip club scene and then became dreadfully boring. I don’t even have some witty line to close this post.

This was a rollercoaster that went my brain go through a blender in the first six minutes or so and then killed the remaining braincells through boredom.

That’s it guys. What can I say. This is the CW’s Walker. Yee.

#marghe watches walker for some darned reason #cw's jared: legit texan

[nightmarecait]

Thank you so much to @thefriendlypigeon for this great art of my Doom Patrol OC Sal. This post is gonna be kind of long. So I’m putting the good stuff under the cut. But first the basics.

Name: Sal Lockwood.

Gender: Cowboy. (Non binary)

Pronouns: She/her

Age: physically 24, chronologically 52

Powers: Teleportation

From: Houston, Texas

Ethnicity: Mexican-American

In 1993 Sal was working as a janitor at the Houston Particle Accelerator Lab. (Yes, I’ve decided that there is a particle accelerator in texas in the 90s). As a janitor she doesn’t have a keycard to access the lab right next to the actual accelerator. But somebody spilled coke and no one else wants to clean it up so they let her in. While Sal is mopping up the lab the central alarm goes off, indicating that something is badly wrong with the accelerator. The scientist scramble and run for their lives, Sal is caught up in the crowd and left on the wrong side of the door without a keycard. When the accelerator explodes it takes most of the building with it, but Sal is the only one in the direct path of the blast. The fiery explosion gives burns her in multiple places, chiefly her face and her hands. Sal doesn’t wake up in the ruins of the lab but rather on a pig farm miles away. The particle accelerator having given her the ability to teleport. But it’s also left her with severe nerve damage in her hands and a crippling fear of fire. Initially she was pursued by the Bureau of Normalcy, but was able to escape pretty easily when she realized that her teleportation powers had no limit. Sal meets the chief in New York after stealing a hot dog from a street vendor. After learning that she is homeless the Chief offers her a place to stay.

Ok the rest is gonna be pretty fragmented. And seriously out of order.

The nerve damage in her hands is pretty bad, there are days when she can’t hold a pencil steady and typing is extremely difficult. Really anything with fine motor skills. 

She didn’t actually lose her finger in the fire, while she was unconscious on the pig farm a pig bit it off. 

She likes heavy metal almost as much as Cliff.

She likes old style outlaw country. Hates modern country, which she calls “flag country” 

Her dad left town when she was twelve. Leaving her alone with her younger brother, J.R. and their mom Rosa.

Sal refers to J.R. as “special” and “being wired different” Sal never knows if J.R. is autistic or what else he might have, she just knows he requires special attention.

She ends up working at the lab when Rosa gets sick and can’t work as much.

She gets along well with most of Jane’s personalities, with the obvious exceptions (Hammerhead)

She empathizes with Rita because both them lack control over their own bodies sometimes. 

Sal can teleport anywhere just by thinking about a place. It’s instant.

During the confrontation with Mr. Nobody she tries to shoot him. It doesn’t work.

Sal owns a portable electric induction burner, she uses it to make chili.

She makes the best Texas chili

Sal can’t be in the kitchen when Larry is cooking. The flames on the gas burners trigger her phobia and give her flashbacks.

She regularly suffers nightmares about the explosion, she often wakes up somewhere else than her room.

Like the others Sal finds out that her accident was engineered by Niles. She responds by pointing her revolver at him. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t do it”

When Niles says he did it for his daughter she puts away the gun but screams, “What about Cliff’s daughter? What about Larry’s sons? What about my brother?” 

When we learn Niles is dying. “Maybe he’ll find a particle accelerator to blow up. Then he can spend eternity waking up in strange places and remembering what it feels like and what it fucking smells like to be on fire.” 

She always wanted to be a writer, Cliff walks in on Sal punching the table and screaming at a laptop. Her fingers hurt too much and she can’t make them hit the right letters. 

I like to think that at some point the gang chips in to by a speech to text software. They have to adjust it for her accent.

Sal is the queen of dine and dash. (chain restaurants only.)

She always pays at mom and pop places. With money she steals from rich people. 

The imaginary friend show down. Sal’s imaginary friend is a purple octopus wearing a top hat, his name is Mr. Bubbles. “Everyone called J.R. the freak, but you knew it was you all along. Screaming when Mom used your real name, when her friends said you were becoming a fine young woman. You were the wrong one. And you made me because you needed someone to be stranger than you.” 

Feel free to ask questions!

#Doom Patrol #doom patrol spoilers #spoilers #oc #art commision

[aj-the-cat]

Lawless

~ Chapter 2 ~ Masterlist

Word Count: 1683

Scorpion's Roost

Solidarity, Texas

(Dedicated to all 100+ followers. Enjoy!)

Undertaker left the saloon that afternoon utterly confused. What whas that cowboy doing? He didn't understand humans, ever since he turned immortal he forgot all about being one. All memories left him except one particular one. Why it stayed, he had no idea. It tormented him.

Eventually his walking led to him being inside the comfort of his funeral parlor. His gathered up thoughts were pushed to the back of his mind as he took off his hat and overcoat. A large black cat met him at the door. It was pudgy, and the look on its face resembled one an irritated human could pull. Its face was also very pudgy, and a shrill meow left its mouth to gain the attention of the tall man.

"I just got home, Paul. Settle down please. It's been a long day." Another shrill meow. "Who cares if I've been drinking?! I'm immortal, it's not gonna hurt me. Now leave me be, I want to be alone." A scoff-like noise came from the cat, then he left, his pudgy paws padding on the floorboard. "Ever since he put himself in a cat, he's been more annoying than ever, I swear." Undertaker told himself.

Sighing, Undertaker pulled off his shoes and threw them somewhere. He'll find them in the morning. His socks, belt, vest and shirt flew off somewhere as well, leaving him in just his slacks. His pale skin glowed in the moonlight from a window, as well as the mysterious patterns on his arms. Intricate demonic designs littered his arms like sleeves, stopping at his shoulders. They appeared the night he turned immortal.

Undertaker staggered a little, the whiskey in his body finally taking effect. His head buzzed. He took slow and steady steps to his bedroom, careful not to bump into any precious coffins he made. Blueprints littered the countertops everywhere, with all sorts of designs for coffins.

His staggering journey took him to his wanted destination and he flopped facedown on his bed, inhaling the scent of his own cologne and a hint of cat. 'Paul must've slept here', He thought.

Deciding not to get up, his mind wandered back to the small cowboy at the bar. He didn't understand humans and their frivolous ways. Always rubbing themselves against each other for pleasure just to end up sad and lonely afterword. Letting out a yawn, he turned himself over to stare at the ceiling, eventually falling asleep from the large amount of whiskey in his body.

*~*

Light snores escaped Undertaker's body. He seemed peaceful, until his occasional twitches turned into thrashes. Fire was all he could see. Orange flames swallowing up a house. Screams. All he could do was watch in horror as the house he grew up in was swallowed by bright flames. "Mother! Father! Kane!" His mouth moved on its own. The screams died down, until all you could hear was the crackling of the fire. Undertaker fell to his knees, helpless. He just watched his parents and brother die in a fire caused by his foolish hand.

A scream left the lips on the undead man and he flew up from his bed. Sweat and tears dripped down his body and cheeks as his breathing staggered. Undertaker gripped his head in his hands and slowed his breathing to a normal rate. He hated falling asleep. This nightmare plagued him.

After calming himself for a few minutes, Undertaker slowly got out of his bed and found his scattered clothes one by one. He placed them in a basket and went back to his bedroom. Paul, the cat, sat on his bed. "I don't need to hear anything from you." Undertaker growled out. The cat just shook his head and jumped off the bed, heading to another part of the parlor. Sighing, Undertaker grabbed clothes from his dresser and a towel and headed to the pond behind the parlor.

He stripped his pants and undergarments and padded into the cool water. The cold temperature didn't bother him. There was a bucket with cleaning supplies at the other side of the pond, but Undertaker didn't bother to grab it for right now. He wanted to relax.

*~*

After sitting in the water for a while, Undertaker decided it was time to wash himself so he moved towards the bucket. He quickly dunked his head underwater to get it wet and grabbed the shampoo, but stopped when he heard voices. 'What the fuck? This is my private pond!', he thought.

The voices grew louder and Undertaker panicked and dipped his head underwater until only his eyes and top of his head could be seen. Who needs to breathe anyways?

The cowboy and his partner appeared from the bushes surrounding the pond, followed by two other guys. They were both big and burly, but the darker haired one was just a bit shoter than the bigger blonde.

"Voila. Found it a couple weeks ago while me n' Scott were running from a sheriff. Been our secret pond since." The bigger of the four said. 'Except this is my pond and I made it myself, dick head.', Undertaker narrowed his eyes. The small cowboy scanned the pond and smiled. "Last one in is a rattlesnakes lover!" He shouted and started stripping.

Undertakers eyed widened. 'No, no no no no!' He watched in horror as the four strangers stripped to their undergarments and jumped into his pond. 'And I thought I would have a good day...' He thought. The cowboy started splashing everybody, getting lots of water on the bank and dirtying up the clean water with dirt and debris.

'That fuckin does it.' Undertaker's eyes became black. The rest of his head emerged from the water, and he focused in on the cowboy from yesterday. 'Want to intrude on my life? Fine.' His horns started to sprout, but the cowboy noticed him.

"Hey! Its the man from the bar yesterday! What are you doing in this pond?" The three other men looked to where the cowboy had pointed out. Undertaker quickly averted his eyes back to green and the horn nubs desappeared. He said nothing.

"Shawn, who's that?" The cowboy's original companion asked. The two other men stayed silent. The cowboy- Shawn -chuckled. "Just some hot guy from the bar yesterday. Surprise seeing you here! How'd you find the pond?" Shawn asked. Undertaker narrowed his eyes. "I live in the building right in front of this pond. I own it." He spat.

Shawn's eyes widened, then narrowed in confusion. "But Kev-"

"GET OUT!" Undertaker yelled. His eyes turned back to black and he stood up fully, exposing his muscular torso and marked arms. Shawn blushed.

A growl started in the throat of Undertaker, and the four outlaws panicked and scrambled over one another to try to get out and away from the demonic man in the pond. They grabbed their stuff and jumped the fence, the taller of the four accidentally knocking over Shawn's original companion in the process.

Undertaker sighed in annoyance, and his eyes slowly turned back to normal. His bath was ruined, the pond probably contaminated, and he just exposed himself to the cowboy from the bar. He mentally slapped himself and finished his washing.

*~*

Grabbing his new clothes and towel, he quickly dried himself and put on black slacks, grey dress shirt and black dress vest. He would ditch the tie and overcoat today, he planned to spend the day inside his parlor working on coffins.

He walked up the path to his parlor, making sure Paul's food bowl was filled, as well as the flower garden not trampled or littered with bugs. The daisy's were nice and fragrent, the roses with beautiful colors, snapdragons at attention, and the peonies-

"What the hell happened to my peonies?!" Undertaker exclaimed. Dirt and flowers were scattered. Boot prints led a trail to the other side of the parlor. "Somebody dug up my peonies..."

Paul stalked up and sat his pudgy body beside Undertaker. His shrill meow didn't faze Undertaker, he was too busy mourning the loss of his flowers and plotting ways to kill the flower murderer.

Undertaker kneeled down and palmed at the dug up soil, finding tiny roots from flowers and scattered petals. "I'm gonna kill whoever did this." He growled. Paul meowed and licked one his paws. Undertaker still didn't bat an eye.

Sighing, he stood back up and walked through the back door of his parlor, Paul hot on his heels. Or however fast a fat cat can keep up with a 6'10 zombie.

Inside, Undertaker threw his dirty clothes and towel in a nearby room and walked to the front doors of his parlor. 'I really don't want to open today but I guess I have to.' He thought as he opened the doors, letting mid-morning light flood his front room.

He looked around, and noticed pink on the ground. He looked, and a bad bouqet of pink peonies messily thrown together sat on the ground. The roots were still intact. Grunting, Undertaker bent down and picked up the bouqet. A messy note was attached.

'Sorry for playing in your pond. I hope these make up a good apology. - Shawn'

"I'm gonna fucking kill him." Undertaker growled. He resisted the urge to hold the flowers close, as he was in broad daylight, but he did when he turned to go back in his parlor. "Of all people, why did HE get invloved in two days worth of my life?!" He thought aloud.

Paul padded up to Undertaker and gave another shrill meow. This time, Undertaker noticed him and rolled his eyes. "No, I don't even know him. He just came up to me in the bar yesterday and tried to fraternize with me." Undertaker replied. Paul meowed harshly. "Shut up! Not like you can do anything, you're just a cat." Paul huffed, and swiped at the mans ankles.

Undertaker pulled his leg up just in time and shooed off his pesky human-like cat. Paul ran off, leaving Undertaker with his peonies and murderous thoughts.

#lawless!au #fanfiction #wwe

[malsmanor]

Thunder Mesa Canon Characters

Follow up to my previous Thunder Mesa ‘lore’ post.

Sources are: my personal experience, cast members, ‘urban/park’ legends that spread during the years, the database of the Italian website MondoDisneyland.it and Phantom Manor Legends.

Hoping I won’t forget anybody... (if I do, please let me know!) LET’S BEGIN!

The Ravenswoods:

Henry: one of the founding fathers of Thunder Mesa, owner of the Big Thunder Mountain Mining. Co and of the beautiful Victorian Manor on Boot Hill.

Martha: Henry’s wife. Very little is known about her beside the fact that her marriage wasn’t exactly a happy one.

Mélanie: Henry and Martha’s daughter and heiress of her father’s fortune. It is said the was one of the prettiest girls in town, had a lovely singing voice and many, unfortunate suitors.

The Jones:

(they’re either siblings or husband and wife, unclear)

Jasper: The Ravenswood’s estate butler and man-servant.

Anna: The Ravenswood’s estate chambermaid. She was possibly one of Henry Ravenswood’s lovers.

Deceased citizens/ghosts that now reside in the Manor:

Madame Leota: a gypsy fortuneteller who offered her services to the people of Thunder Mesa. After her death she is tasked to summon other spirits and demons to the "ghostly ball" that's held in the manor.

The Phantom: A mysterious entity that torments Mélanie in the Manor. The 2019 Refurbishment of the attraction confirmed his identity as Henry Ravenswood, returned from the dead to prevent his daughter from marrying a man not worthy of her.

Goliath: Undead dog that appears alongside the Phantom in one of the most notoriously scary scenes in the attraction. In the original script, he belonged to Henry’s brother, Arthur Ravenswood. In the current storyline Goliath is heavily implied to be Henry’s pet and his loyal companion even in death.

Valentin the Boneless/Le Desosé: a man from Thunder Mesa whose body and spirit were crushed, either physically or metaphorically... or both.

Mary Murphy: Frank Ballard’s wife.

Frank Ballard: Mary Murphy’s husband.

Ma Ballard: Frank Ballard’s mother. Clearly didn’t approve of her son’s marriage to Mrs.Murphy. Her gravestone reads ‘over my dead body’.

B. Arnold: his occupation is unknown. His gravestone reads ‘Cold Is My Bed - But Oh, I Love It - For Colder Are My Friends Above It.’

Leadfoot Fred: a cowboy and gunslinger, his adversary made him ‘dance’ until he was hit in the legs (at least 3 shots per leg) and finished off.

“Shorty” Smith: nothing is know about them except that they died in 1862

Red Hot Harry: probably a gunslinger like Leadfoot Fred. Like him, he wasn’t fast enough.

Dakota Dick: somebody really REALLY hard to kill. According to their tombstone, they were hanged October 17th, 1867, shot January 18th, 1868, stabbed December 18th, 1868, poisoned May 21st, 1869 and are ready to come back for more.

Jaques Shrillman: a terrible musician, ‘lynched by a bunch of music lovers‘.

Peg Leg McBrogue: an outlaw that committed robberies on riverboats. ‘Walked the plank, and sank’.

Nameless Hunter: killed by a bear. (See below.)

Pet Cemetery:

A squirrel, a cougar and a bear also rest in Boot Hill... somehow. Their graves imply that they all became the bear’s food at some point. An unfortunate Hunter also met the same fate.

Mélanie’s Suitors:

Rowan D.Falls: former captain of the ‘Mark Twain’ Steamboat and one of Mélanie's suitors, died falling off a tall waterfall. He is possibly related to Dr. Albert Falls, a member of S.E.A the Society of Explorers and Adventurers.

Ignatus "Iggy" Knight: former owner of a dynamite manufacture and one of Mélanie's suitors.  He died in an explosion inside Big Thunder Mountain’s mine.

Barry Claude: oil-field master and one of Mélanie's suitors. He was mauled by a bear.

Sawyer Bottom: owner of the local sawmill. Suffered the most suspicious death of all the suitors: tied to a log and bifurcated within his own sawmill.

The Townsfolk:

William Ketchum: current sheriff of Thunder Mesa

Artemus L. Hector (current Mayor of Thunder Mesa) and his wife: [photo from Phantom Manor Legends]

James Collins: Photographer and inventor of the Spectral Camera.

J. Nutterville: undertaker and coffin maker, he takes care of Boot Hill and its graves. It is unclear if he’s still alive or a ghost himself but I’m placing him in this category because he appears from time to time near Phantom Manor and during special events to take the guests’ ‘measures’ and get their coffins ready.

Diamond Lil: the owner of the Lucky Nugget Saloon.

Lavinia ???: a beautiful dancer who worked at the Lucky Nugget Saloon. Many men were in love with her and one of the locomotives of Big Thunder Mountain bears her name.

Pierre Paradis: Diamond Lil’s French fiancee.

Jebediah Rose: Thunder Mesa’s blacksmith. He was in love with the Lucky Nugget dancer Lavinia but she did not love him back.

Lavinia Rose: Jebediah’s daughter, named after his unrequited love.

Milo ‘One Eye’ Jones: a robber who made the mistake of stealing from Big Thunder Mountain Mining Co. and an even bigger one when he thought it was a good idea to hide from the law in the very manor built by the founder of the company he just robbed. It is possible that he is related to the Jones who once worked for the Ravenswoods.

The Thunder Mesa Councilmen have... interesting names such as I.M. Chikin and I.L.B Bach.

The Caretaker: Phantom Manor’s equivalent to the Haunted Mansion’s groundskeeper.

EXTRAS: Fan Character, deleted characters and those who may or may not be involved but it’s just fun to think they are:

Jake ‘Lockart’ Evans: Formerly the only known suitor of Mélanie. A fan favorite that, despite not having been completely de-canonized by the refurbishment, is not a physical presence in the Manor anymore. The name was never official but the fandom as a whole still calls him Jake ;)

Barnabas T. Bullion: The founder and owner of the Thunder Mountain Mining Co. according to the 2013 refurbished queue line in WDW Orlando. Assuming that we’re talking about the same company that Henry Ravenswood founded, it is possible that Bullion took over 20 years after Henry’s death and re-built the company under a new image to erase its dark history. In the Big Thunder Mountain Marvel Comics, he is depicted as a better person and father to his daughter Abigail than Ravenswood ever was to Mélanie, drawing a parallel between the two.

Arthur Ravenswood: Henry’s younger brother in the original script for the ride.

Gabrielle Ravenswood: Arthur’s wife in the original script.

Melanie's cousin: One of the letters that could be found on a table inside Phantom Manor before the refurbishment hinted at a relationship between Mélanie and a cousin of hers. It wasn’t clear if this was an arranged marriage or a clandestine affair.

Henry's repudiated son: The same letters also introduce us to Henry’s firstborn (often nicknamed Elias or Alan by the fandom) who’s writing to his father to let him know that he is -once again- out of money.

S.E.A investigators: the in-universe explanation for the long shut down of Phantom Manor is an investigation conducted by the local authorities with the help of groups of ‘explorers and adventurers’ that came from the East. Fans speculate that these explorers may be part of S.E.A, a secret society around which Tokyo Disney SEA’s park lore is built. If one of Mélanie’s suitors is indeed a member of Dr.Albert Falls family, this could explain why the S.E.A may have an interest in Phantom Manor and the strange happenings surrounding it. S.E.A members are mostly depicted as positive characters, explorers and archeologists respectful of the land and cultures they get in contact with, but even within their ranks there are some rotten apples. A notable example is Harrison Hightower III who is rumored to be related with George Hightower, previous owner of the Haunted Mansion (both in California and Orlando) and one of Constance Hatchaway’s husbands.

#thunder mesa #phantom manor #pm lore #disney parks lore #disneyland paris #frontierland #long post #haunted mansion #society of explorers and adventurers #henry ravenswood #melanie ravenswood #martha ravenswood #constance hatchaway #harrison hightower iii #tokyo disney sea #walt disney world #boot hill

[keyofjetwolf]

Pitch Me your thing!

HELLO HELLO MY SUNBEAMS. For most every category, there was an impressive turn-out for pitches, so I thought we’d utilize the weirdness of this year’s GIFTENING to give something new a try. The popular vote winner for each category will happen on the first day, but on the second, the winner will be chosen from YOUR PITCHES. Mostly those pitches will be to me. The exception is in Miscellaneous, where you’ll be pitching to my family, because what I want to do and what is most entertaining isn’t necessarily the same thing.

So! How will we do this thing? GLAD YOU ASKED. I’ll link you to a form in a minute with space for one pitch. Once you fill it out, you’ll be asked if you want to do another. There’s no limit to the number of pitches you can send in! But remember that if you submit multiple entries for the same category, you’ll basically be competing against yourself.

NOW WE’VE GOT SOME RULES FOR DOING THIS (which I mostly stole from Holligay, because I have no creativity this year). Please read them carefully! I’ll toss pitches that break any of these, and I’d rather your hard work not go to waste.

Pitch Me is open for your submissions from RIGHT NOW (22 December) through the very last day of this hellyear (31 December) at 11:59pm MT.

The thing you pitch must have come from what was nominated for THE GIFTENING 2020. (Full list of those nominations in every category below the cut on this post.)

Entries must be unsigned! I’m looking to chose based on the pitch alone, regardless of who submitted it.

The pitch itself must be 100 words or less. HAVE PITY ON ME I CAN ONLY CONSUME SO MUCH.

If you’d like to get some help, ideas, feedback, all that good stuff, the Discord is a FANTASTIC resource I encourage you to use.

HERE IS YOUR PITCH SUBMISSION LINK

And, as promised, below the cut you’ll find the list of all the nominees in every category you guys sent in this year. IT’S A LONG LIST HAVE FUN WITH THAT

Anime

A Place Further Than The Universe/Sora Yori mo Toi Basho Ace Attorney (Gyakuten Saiban) Action Heroine Cheer Fruits Aggretsuko Aho Girl Air Master Akuma No Riddle Alien Nine Angel Beats! Angelic Layer Appare-Ranman Aria Aria the Animation Arrietty/ The Secret World of Arrietty (Ghibli film) Ascendance of a Bookworm Azumamga Daioh Baccano! Beastars Black Cat Blood + (the series) Bloom Into You Blue Drop/Tenshitachino Gikyoku Bodacious Space Pirates (starting right where you left off) BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, so I'll Max Out My Defense Boku no hero academia Bubblegum Crisis Card Captor Sakura: Clear Card Cardcaptor Sakura Castlevania the Animated Series Cells at Work Chaos; Head Chihayafuru Code Geass cowboy Bebop Cyborg 009 Death Note Death Parade Deca-Dence Demon Girl Next Door Demon Slayer (Kimetsu no Yaiba) Diebuster: Aim For the Top 2 Dog Days dorohedoro Dot Hack//SIGN Dr. Stone Elfen Lied Erased (Boku Dake Ga Inai Machi) Escaflowne Excel Saga Fantastic Children Fate/Zero Flip Flappers Fresh Precure Fruits Basket 2019 Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Ga rei Zero GaoGaiGar gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun Ghost in the Shell: Standalone Complex Ghost Stories (dubbed) Girls' Last Tour Great Pretender Hoseki no Kuni/ Land of the Lustrous House of Five Leaves/ Saraiya Goyou Inari konkon koi iroha Interviews with Monster Girls Inuyasha Isekai Izakaya "Nobu" Jellyfish Princess/ Kuragehime JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable Kaguya-sama Love Is War Kaleido Star Kannazuki no Miko Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken! Kemono Friends Kiki's Delivery Service Kimi ni Todoke: From Me To You Kino's Journey/Kino no Tabi (2003) Land of the Lustrous (Houseki no Kuni) Little Witch Academia Lord El-Melloi II's Case Files EP0 {"A Grave Keeper") Love is Hard for an Otaku Love Live! Sunshine!! lupin the 3rd part 4 Madoka: The Rebellion Movie Magic knight rayearth Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha March Comes in Like a Lion Mardock Scramble Master of Martial Hearts Mawaru Penguindrum Megalobox Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid Mob Psycho 100 Mobile Suit Gundam (1979) Monster Mushishi My Bride is a Mermaid (Seto No Hanayome) My Love Story!!! My Neighbor Totoro My Next Life As A Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom My Roommate is a Cat NANA Naruto Natsume’s Book of Friends Neon Genesis Evangelion (hateblog) New Cutey Honey Nichijou Ōban Star-Racers One Piece Ouran High school Host club Outlaw Star Paranoia Agent Perfect Blue Please Save My Earth Pop Team Epic Pretty Cure Fresh Princess Jellyfish/ Kuragehime Princess Mononoke Princess Principal Princess Tutu Project A-Ko promised neverland (/yakusoku no neverland) Psycho-Pass Ranma 1/2 Re: Cutie Honey Re:Creators Read or Die (OAV) Red Garden relife Revolutionalry Girl Utena Rose of Versailles Ruroni Kenshin Sailor Moon Sailor Moon (viz dub) Samurai Champloo (english dub) Sarazanmai School Days School-Live! Scum's Wish Senki Zesshou Symphogear (listed as just "Symphogear" on Crunchyroll.) Serei no Moribito (Guardian of the Spirit) Shin Sekai Yori (From The New World) Shirobako Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle Smile Pretty Cure (Japanese original)/ Glitter Force (english adaptation) Snow White with the Red Hair Sound Euphonium Strawberry Panic (yuri) Sweetness and Lightning The Devil is a Part-timer The Devil Lady The disasterous life of saiki k (saiki kusuo no Sai Nan) The End of Evangelion (movie) the Promised Neverland The Twelve Kingdoms Tiger & Bunny Tokimeki Tonight ToraDora Tsubasa Chronicle Umineko When They Cry Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid Vinland Saga Violet Evergarden Whispered Words (Sasameki Koto) With a Dog AND a Cat, Every Day is Fun Yona of the Dawn Yu Yu Hakusho Yugioh Duel Monster Yuki Yuna is a Hero Yuri Kuma Arashi Yuri On Ice!!! Zoids: Chaotic Century Zombie Land Saga

Non-Anime Animated

Adventure Time Amphibia Animainiacs (Original) Animaniacs (Reboot) Archie's Weird Mysteries As Told By Ginger Barbie Life in The Dreamhouse Batman the Animated Series Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot Big Mouth Bob's Burgers Bojack Horseman Bravest Warriors Captain N: the Game Master Carmen Sandiego (1994) Carmen Sandiego (2019) Castlevania (Netflix) Cats Don't Dance Coco Courage the Cowardly Dog Craig of the Creek Cyber Six Daria Darkwing Duck Dragon Booster Dragons: Riders of Berk DuckTales (2017) Exo-Squad Fern Gully Fillmore! Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends Futurama Gargoyles Glitch Techs Godzilla: The Animated Series Green Lantern the Animated Series Hedgehog in the Fog (Ёжик в тумане) Hey Arnold Hilda Infinity Train Iron Giant JEM Kim Possible Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts Legend of Zelda animated series (1989) Legion of Super-Heroes Liberty Kids Magical Girl Friendship Squad Mao Mao: Heroes of Pure Heart The Legend of Korra Moominvalley Motorcity My Little Pony (Classic, NOT FiM) My Little Pony: Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks Onyx Equinox Over the Garden Wall Over the Moon (2020 film) Owl House Primal Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure Redwall Rise of the TMNT Roco's Modern Life Rugrats RWBY Samurai Jack Seis Manos She-Ra (1985) She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Sonic Boom Spartakus and the Sun Beneath the Sea Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse Star vs. the Forces of Evil Strange Magic Super Mario Brothers Super Show Superman: The Animated Series Teen Titans The 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo The Animals of Farthing Wood The Dragon Prince The Hollow The Legend of Tarzan (TV series) The Magic School Bus (1994) The Mysterious Cities of Gold The Pirate Fairy (Disney Fairies) The Powerpuff Girls (1998) The Real Ghostbusters Thundercats (1985) Thundercats (2011) Transformers: Prime Tuca and Bertie Twelve Forever Undone Venture Bros Wakko's Wish Wakfu Wander Over Yonder We Bare Bears (TV) Winx Club Wreck-It Ralph (2012) X-Men Evolution X-Men: The Animated Series Xiaolin Showdown

Live Action

20,000 Leagues Under the Sea 28 Days Later 3rd Rock from the Sun A Series of Unfortunate Events American Horror Story: Asylum Babysitter's Club (2020) Batman (the old Adam West version) Better Call Saul Black Mirror Blackbeard's Ghost (Peter Ustinov) Boston Legal Boy Meets World Boys Over Flowers Bromance (Taiwanese tv series) Brooklyn 99 Buffy the Vampire Slayer Cadfael Cagney and Lacey Charmed (2018) Chopped Cleopatra 2525 Cloak and Dagger Clue (1985) Community Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance Dead Like Me Dead To Me Deadwood Death Note (Netflix) Derry Girls Dimension 20 - The Unsleeping City Doctor Who (New) Doom Patrol Dracula's Daughter (1936) Escape to the Chateau Farscape Fingersmith Galavant Godzilla (2014) Gokushufudo (2020 Japanese TV drama) Golden Girls Good Omens H20: Just Add Water (somewhere in seasons 1-2) Happy New Year Harley Quinn movie Hateblog a REALLY STRAIGHT soap opera. Haunting of Bly Manor His Dark Materials (HBO series) Holes Hot Fuzz House Inception Inside No. 9 Iron Chef America Joan of Arcadia Julie and the Phantoms Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle Kamen Rider Build Kamen Rider Ex-Aid Kamen Rider Fourze Killing Eve Knives Out Letterkenny Leverage Little Women (2019) Lucifer Matlock Majisuka Gakuen MASH Merlin Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol Money Talks (1997 film) Motherland: Fort Salem Murder She Wrote Mythbusters Nailed It! Never Have I Ever Once Upon a Time Orphan Black Pen 15 PGSM Pi (1998) Picnic at Hanging Rock (2018) Pride and Prejudice: A New Musical Puppy Bowl Pushing Daisies Rome (hateblog) Russian Doll Sabrina Sense8 Sera Myu: Un Nouveau Voyage Shameless Sierra Burgess Smallville So Weird Star Trek: TOS (or their films) Star Trek: The Next Generation Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Star Trek: Voyager Stargate Atlantis Suckerpunch Supernatural (out of context speedrun the last three episodes) Sweetheart Switched at Birth Tall Girl Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles The Addams Family (1964) The Big Flower Fight The Booth at the End The Bride With White Hair The Crown The Fresh Prince of Bel Air The Good Place The Kissing Booth The L Word The Librarians The Magicians The Muppet Show The Pregnancy Pact The Room The Steve Harvey Show The Stranded The Untamed The Witcher The Wolfman (1941) Torchwood Twilight Zone (original) Twin Peaks Ultraman Nexus Umbrella Academy Van Helsing Warehouse 13 Warrior Nun What We Do In The Shadows (tv show) Will & Grace Wynonna Earp X-Men 2: X-Men United Xena: Warrior Princess

Miscellaneous

Alpha Flight #41-62 Anime music dance party, the logistics of which are to be determined! Ask Hot Pocket and/or Mina-pup AskSharknado: Giftening Edition Attempt to make French macaroons Commentary on old Goggles Critical Role Crowdsourced: A Black Mirror-style day where Jetty has to ask what her choices are of the audience for everything! I give you a menu, you decide what she has for dinner? What does she wear? Does she walk on the track or do the eliptical? Does she go to a movie with Doc or play a video game with Mike? Can be done alongside other stuff. Doodle Day Dramatic readings of fan fiction! Drunk History (or whatever your favorite subject would be) with Jet Wolf! Drunk Sailor Moon Exorcising Closet Ghost Fic Prompts Day Figuarts Day! (Not specifically freeing anyone, just various fun poses and such) Guess the plot of a show based on its opening Her Shim-Cheong (manhwa) House of X/Powers of X Hubby's Choice IDW Jem comics liveblog Intros Only (watch show openings, give commentary, guess what show is about, etc.) Jackbox Games Jet Wolf paints along with Bob Ross Jet and Doc go to Heaven/Hell, respectively: Jet gets to write reams of words about the awesomeness of Rei Hino and Doc has to read all of them and say ONLY NICE THINGS. Jet does Tiktok dances Jet Liveblogs Holligay: A Nature Documentary Jet Ranks Sailor Moon Image Songs Jet Reads Goosebumps Jet Reads Legion of Super-Heroes Jet redesigns the Wolf and Gay offices! Jet shows off her knitting Jet Wolf attempts to recreate scenes from Sailor Moon with Mina and Hot Pocket and/or whatever is in the house Jet Wolf reacts to Sailor Moon tiktoks (in blog form) Jet Wolf reads Love and Rockets. Jet Wolf reads the Jem comics by IDW Jet Wolf reviews her old top 100 Sailor Moon moments list Jet Wolf talks about Archie Comics Jet Wolf talks about each cel she owns and why they are so awesome. Jet Wolf writes Poetry Jet Wolf's Top 5's Jet, Hubby and/or family play board games Jetty Rants and Raves Jet Wolf tries to crack the Gravity Falls Codes Kiwi Blitz on Hiveworks Let's Play on Webtoon Liveblog: Favorite X-Men comic book arcs Livestream Pathfinder one-shot LOONA (Collection of music videos with an ongoing story/universe about GIRLS who are FRIENDS and SAVE THE UNIVERSE) Lore Olympus on Webtoon Mike regales us with "the story of your love" while you get increasingly embarrassed Mina and Hot Pocket day - liveblog like a nature documentary Mister Tsukino Does His Taxes and the Household Budget (Sailor Moon fan comic by Shadowjack) Nancy Drew: Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake Not So Shoujo Love Story on Webtoon Pitch Mishaps for Untitled Senshi Game (it is a lovely day in Juuban, and you are a Horrible Minako.) Pitching hubby's favorite media at (readers/holligay/jill/momigay) Playing with dolls (because how could 3 women not have any dolls between them) Re-Take By Studio Kimigabuchi (All Ages Version) Real or Fake Anime (people submit descriptions of anime you guess if it is an anime that actually exists or not) Reviewing succulents Scavenger hunt! Not entirely sure how it would work, maybe folks could send in asks for you to show things like your favorite Rei Hino object, or the thing that's been with you the longest, etc. sewing/knitting/baking tutorial Share or rant about a Roman history topic Sleepless Domain on Hiveworks Talking to Docholligay 2: Doc Harder (basically you talking to Doc's future womb evictee while still in there and telling them stuff like say the greatness of Rei Hino) The Monster Duchess and Contract Princess (manhwa) The Polar Bear Plunge--I take Jetty to our finest Lake Elmo in January, and she jumps in! Note: THIS IS NOT DANGEROUS, WORRYWARTS. I'll bring a life preserver, I've done it before, and I would do it with her if I weren't pregnant. The Senshi Helpline--The Senshi, taking your advice questions, here and now! The World of Moral Reversal Virtual knitting/crafting circle! Let us craft and chat with you! What-If #24 Gwen Stacy Lived Worm the web serial Write an explanation for a drawing we send you! Yuri Hell's Kitchen

#THE GIFTENING 2020 #THE GIFTENING 2020 admin stuff

[iam-kenough]

Will you ever notice me? (Arthur Morgan x Original Female Character)

Chapter 15 Summary:  Dutch and his boys found a girl hidden inside wrecked shack near their camp. She introduces herself as Iris and starts leading outlaw life with Van der Linde gang, quickly developing feelings towards one, special cowboy. However there is big year gap between them and Arthur sees Iris just as a kid...And girl won’t take that!

Authors notes: I quite like this one! I warn for smut, kink and age gap! It’s just another chapter and you can find the rest of them following masterlist on my blog if you  want to read more of my  fanfiction. Hope you gonna enjoy it! Words count: 2847 - I can't sleep! - Iris groaned suddenly, turning to her back and spreaded arms - For God's sake, make it rain, or I'm gonna drown in my own sweat.

- Well - Arthur smirked, lookin' at her in weak light of oil lamp - In your tent you were undressed.

- Pervert - Iris scoffed, getting up and jumping above him, as man layed on cots edge.

- Where are ya goin' now? - he asked surprised - Yer not going to your tent, are ya?

- If I have to undress then I'm gonna do it in the best way - she exclaimed, grabbing a towel from his things - Fancy skinny dippin' with me, or you too prude? There was some advantages of living near lake. Maybe mosqitous here were insufferable, but in hot days like this one it was more that a blessing to dive into cold water. It was also beautiful to watch, as moon was reflecting on it's surface without any creases on windless nights. There was small platform leading from the shore into the water and stopping where the water was deeper.

- Catch me if you can! - Iris yelled with playful tone, running past Arthur suddenly, clapping his back on the go. She undressed herself on the go not slowing down even for momment and jumped right into the lake, splashing water everywhere.

- Ya can't swim! - Arthur said mockingly unbuttoning his union suit quickly.

- Yea, I just reminded myself - Iris catched platform with both her hands, looking at Arthur with playful smirk on her lips. Arthur noticed he's being observed and tips of his ear became red. He turned around.

- I can close my eyes if you want - Iris purred.

- Please, do - Arthur became even redder. She couldn't see that but he felt like fool already. Iris shut her eyes and she suddenly felt water splashing on her head. Arthur quickly got up to the surface and shaked his head quickly like a dog, hundreds tiny droplets falling all around.

- Well, well - Iris said - Now what, prude? His gaze averted and now all he was dreaming about were pouring more liquor into his mouth 'cause recklessness were stepping away to let place for embarasment.

- Haven't done that before, or what?

- Not with someone, okay? Iris bite her lower lip, aproaching him slowly, barely feeling bottom of the lake. She looked into his eyes and their bodies touched. Arthur shivered, not sure what to do with his hands so embraced Iris shyly.

- I'm not gonna fall apart, come on, squeeze me a little, cowboy - girl teased. Arthur did and it was amazing, her soft curves resting against his chest. He felt sudden rush of adrenaline and his hands slipped down, squeezing her butt. Iris shivered and moaned inside his ear.

- Oh god - he whispered. It was beyond what he expected to feel right know, especially it wasn't their first time alone. And yet, he couldn't help but blush like teenager.

- Iris's my name - she said. Arthur started peppering her face with kisses, then nibbled on her ear a little, one of his hands going to her neck to choke her a little. He was carresing column of it under his palm, looking Iris in the eyes. Oh, Iris knew that gaze. He wen't from shy and cuddly mode to sexy one in a glimpse of time, like always. Arthur Morgan had this kink on dominating his girl as much as possible, making her fully obedient and Iris loved to play that game, pretending to be harmless and shy.

- Will you be good girl tonight? - Arthur's voice was deep and low, coming from his guts.

- Maybe - she whispered, streching the word on her tongue.

- Better be - he whispered too but in voice that was taking no demands. Arthur's eyes darkened and it was similar gaze to what he was wearing during robberies

- Or I will get angry.

- And do what...?

- For stupid question there will be punishment - his hand went up and grabbed Iris's chin, squeezing it along with her cheeks. His thumb carresed girl's lower lip. Arthur lifted Iris with swift move and she surrounded his hips with her tights, soft and velvet skin against his rough one. She grinded herself against his cock, letting moan escape her lips.

- Just like that, babygirl - Iris moaned again as he slid two fingers inside her without any warning - Yes, go on for me, don't hold yourself back - his voice was husky, making girl tremble, and his breath was hot against her face. He smelled like cigarettes, whiskey and gunpowder. She was yelling and weepin', asking for more and squeezing him between her thights, feeling climax coming but it never did.

- Get out - he growled, pushing her away - And go lie down on the towel, babygirl.

She quickly got onto the shore, looking past her arm. It was like a deer running away from the wolf, except this deer dreamed about being hunted. Iris fell down, feeling soft towel against back. Arthur pinned her down immidiately.

He parted Iris's legs not thinking about being gentle on her for even a second and looked at her with grin plastered to his lips. She gasped as his cock was stroking her wet cunt.

- Needy, aren't we? - Arthur grabbed her neck again, this time harder and entered her quickly. She cried out, but only from surprise and rocked her lips to adjust to Arthur's size.

The thurts were rythmical, with every one there came moan, grunt and slap of Arthur's thighs against Iris's hips. Iris shut her eyes and her head went blank, no thought important enough to steal moments highlight.

- Oh no no, open them, baby...I wanna watch you fall apart - he purred and slipped thumb inside her mouth, smirking with contentment when she sucked on it.

Brunette opened her eyes and they were glimmering. Iris loved the thrill when Arthur was dark and intimidating during sex and tears in her eyes were causen by pleasure and adrenaline. He loved to watch her like this and he wiped tears away with his calloused thumb. His breath was speeding up with every minute.

- A-Arthur - his name slipped away from her tongue, as she was trembling under his touch and his gaze. He turned her around suddenly and with brutality. He spanked her and squeezed her ass right after, reentering her cunt again. Arthur pushed her face to the ground, leaving her hips high in the air and continued fucking her hard.

- What do you want now, hmm? - he growled like an animal - Tell me and I'm gonna do it, you earned it for yourself.

- L-let me come, please-

- Beg for it, yeah, just like that - Arthur squeezer her boob and pinched on the nipple a little causing her legs started to shake. Iris's moan was louder than any other before, when she came, her walls tightening around his cock in very pleasant motion. But he had other plans than just that. He pushed her on the back again and with cock in his hand, Arthur spilled the load on Iris's body, mainly cleavage and face. He smirked, looking down on his deed.

- Just like this, you little bitch - Arthur snarled, giving her gentle slap on the cheek - Tell me something you know I wanna hear.

- T-thank you, Mr Morgan, it was amazing - Iris's voice was quiet and shaky as she needed to calm down now, going back onto the earth, 'cause he just fucker her to the moon and back.

Arthur smirked ugly, proud with himself and kissed girl on the forehead. It was good to be back.

Arthur Morgan was shy when it came to woman, especially the woman he didn't know well. Although, his relationship with Iris was going fast and he wasn't waiting for long to show his true colors, which was being dominant, cold and sarcastic in addition to soft highlights. One could say he conquered Iris and now it was obvious for Arthur she's gonna stay by his side. It could sound bad, but it was hitting Iris just right, when instead of goofy cuddling everyday, he rather smack her ass and call her a brat. Everyone had their kinks and those two were a perfect match. It wasn't Arthur couldn't been caught off his guard, especially when he was hugged unexpectantly, or when he heard something sweet from Iris's mouth, who he was adoring more than anything deeply inside. However Arthur liked it rough and if anyone wanted to hear he loves them, they had to earn it. But being with Iris reminded Arthur one thing - he tried to be a family man in the past, but with his rough lifestyle and bad manners he would never fit in. Iris was a sparkle in the dark showing him that direction he chosed was indeed the one what thrilled him the most. He'd rather rob and kill with her by his side instead of settling down, forcing himself to do so. And with her Arthur could be forever young. Iris was taking steps slowly, placing feet after feet in the grass. She was hunting. Her target stood right in front of her, showing it's back completly, not expecting an ambush. She jumped onto it.

- Jesus, you frickin' brat - Arthur hissed, turned his torso around and slapped back of Iris's head. She giggled.

- What's up - girl said, wrapping her hands around him - I heard you go huntin'.

- That's what I am after now - he said.

- Can I go with you? - she blushed briefly, hanging onto his arm now.

- I don't know, I wasn't planning to take traitors who sneak on me. Iris pecked his cheek and looked at him with a playful smirk, holding her hands behind back. Arthur shaked his head and then he felt his satchel became lighter the moment she pulled away.

- Did you just pickpocket me? - he looked at her and his gaze darkened. Iris just loved to trigger him.

- Maybe - she said in innocent manner, showing him his journal and when he tried to grab it, she backed off again.

- I don't have time for that - he scoffed - Give it back.

- Sure, just gonna sneak a little peek, you've been so much into sketching lately I wonder what's occupying you so much - girl purred and started to backing off slowly as Arthur was approaching her.

- Don't make me bend you and slap you, honey - he hummed in inpatient voice.

- Maybe I wanna be slapped? Or better, spanked.

- You'll get none of that then. It will be surpsise, not sure you'd like it. Give it back if you're smart girl.

- No way! - she giggled and without any thinking she climbed up the tree he tried to pin her to. She was clearly a cat in some ways, was Arthur thinking.

- Come on! - he growled with impatience, throwing her stormy gaze.

- What we got there...- Iris hummed - Ooo! There was whole bunch of pages where Arthur captured her naked. The were different angles and some of drawings were naughtier than girl would expect. Arthur was blushing furiously, hiding face under brim of a hat. Then he grabbed her ankle and make her fall, not even thinking about catching Iris. If she wanted it rough, she's gonna get it the worst way.

- Ouch! - she landed very unladylike on her ass - That wasn't nice at all!

- You weren't nice - Arthur tore journal from girl's hand and hid it, this time assuring himself satchel is closed properly.

- Come on, that's me you drew anyway! And why would you even bother to do that? - she clinged onto his arm again, bating her eyes innocently.

- Feelin' daring today, aren't we? - he shook her off, reaching for his bow and attached it to horse cargo. Arthur lowered his hat even more so she wouldn't see his face, because it showed greater weakness now.

- You still haven't said if I can go with you! - she started brushing his horse to help before going, as Iris hoped, with him.

- Can you? - Arthur sent her a snap on the nose.

- I mean I would if you need me... - she blushed herself briefly and took his hat away, putting it on her head. Now Arthur's rosy cheeks was exposed and he scoffed, looking away to pretend his examining repeater in his hands.

- You will do. 'Fcourse if you gonna stop babbling this much, woman. The weather was good, nothing too windy since it wouldn't help them to sneak properly. Sun was kissing Iris's face and she hummed a song with joy, throwing small looks towards Arthur, who seemed to ignoring her completely, looking after any broken branches or pawprints.

- Jesus, would you shut up - he finally hissed with impatient tone - I won't catch shit with you singin'.

- You're right, sorry - Iris said without any sign of being actually sorry, and started fidgeting on her bow.

They were walking around and it didn't make any sense for Iris but suddenly Arthur made gesture, stopping her and he put finger up to her lips and one gaze was enough to understand. In front of them appeared enormous deer and it's fur was amazing, almost golden, when the antlers, Iris thought, were bigger than her. She looked at animal in awe.

- Do you like it? - Arthur whispered to her ear with seductive tone - I could give you the pelt so you would make our bed more warm with it, hm? What about that?

It was one of most lovely things he would offer her so far and Iris nodded with excitement. Arthur smirked, grabbing her face by chin and squeezing it. Then he got up without making any sound and sent an arrow directly into deer's head, 'causing an animal to howl in agony. Iris gasped, it was living creature after all and sometimes it made her sad to kill deers. Iris was caressing pelt Arthur skinned from this amazing deer. It was a little bit dirty with blood but she didn't mind, nothing a bit of cold water couldn't fix. Arthur on the other hand was all gore, as he threw animal on his horse's back with visible difficulty. He was panting and wiped hands from blood against his jeans.

- We could sell antlers, too. There are people who fancy things like that as decorations - Iris said with small voice, her doe eyes shy as their gazes met.

- Really? - Arthur looked at her with playful smirk on his lips. He got cocky when was looking at Iris, who simply admired him without any hesitation, still being amazed with soft pelt. Man told himself that he did great job, giving unusual gift to her little lover.

- And it's gonna feed us for ages. You did amazing, darlin' - there was warmth and pride in those words as she caressed his forearm slowly.

- Tell me more - Arthur closed gap between them her and grabbed into his arms, throwing her onto his horse like she was just ragdoll. Then he got on too.

- Your shots are always the best ones...will you teach me someday? - Iris continued to sugarcoat him.

- Not till I'll know my time is coming to an end, you wouldn't need me anymore - he scoffed and Iris blushed, caressing his ribs as she was looping her arms around Arthur's body. His heart was beating strongly and girl could hear it's vibrations.

- I'll always need you, Arthur - she replied with honesty and that made him grin widely, like a boy who just got his first kiss. She couldn't see it thought, as her head was resting against Arthur's back. They were going slowly, it was hard for Arthur's horse enough just with them in the saddle, not talking about deer that rested on the back.

- And yet you weren't good girl today. Wanna tell me why? - he cooed with great dose of mockery in words.

- I wanted to fool around with you for a bit, I know that maybe you don't get the idea, but sometimes I can't tell if you are angry, sad or if it's just your face, so I just try to cheer you up, Sweetpea.

- Fool around, eh? - Arthur smirked, getting all cocky.

- I'm sorry if you did not like that - she said and shrinked behind his back being intimidated by his roughness a tad bit.

- Being sorry won't save ya tonight from me, darlin' - Arthur chuckled darkly, but caressed Iris's hand a little bit. She squeezed him tightly, purring like a cat. Arthur just loved the way he was making Iris feel, and the only better thing was how this girl made his stone heart go soft.

#arthur morgan x oc #arthur morgan x original female character #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan rdr2 #arthur morgan fanfiction #arthur morgan x original character #arthur morgan smut #arthur morgan fluff #arthur morgan angst #arthur morgan romance #arthur morgan low honor #low honor arthur morgan #rdr2 #rdr2 fanfiction

[artificiallyimplantedmemories]

@lostsouldier : “upsy daisy” any verse 🥺 meme: Send “upsy daisy” to pick up my muse bridal style

    In one world, he gently moves the veil to the side, chokes back tears as she says “I do” and kisses her far more deeply than ought to be allowed in public. His friends wolf whistle at them, though Bucky’s mother clears her throat at the display. Rice is thrown at them, and Natasha laughs in delight as Bucky Barnes sweeps her off her feet. She tugs the cowboy hat from his head and trades it for her veil, to much giggling from the crowd, and he carries her away from the altar. Their happy marriage is a marvel, especially to those who knew Natasha as an outlaw before. She still does things her way, despite being Mrs. Barnes, and Bucky loves her no less for it. 

     In another, he watches her crumble and carries her to the hospital as fast as he can. She lays limply in his arms, and he prays desperately for the doctors to save her, even though he hasn’t properly prayed since he was a kid. When she regains consciousness, Natasha looks at him blankly, putting on a bland smile. Bucky has been erased from her mind, and he feels like there’s nothing in the world that can fill the hole in his chest. Hope ruins him, and the heart that should have been cauterized simply bleeds and bleeds and bleeds.

     In one universe, there are peals of childish laughter as Bucky pulls the exchange student up into his arms just to prove that he can. The display of machismo would be mocked, except for the fact that she reaches up and kisses his cheek, and the whole group ends up grinning instead. It’s been half a year in the making, and Bucky and Nat finally getting together is a relief. They deserve happiness and love and success. They deserve it, but... maybe they’ll manage two of the three.

     In another, they don’t have time or permission for things like this, but they do it anyway. Bucky - no, James - no, the Soldat - picks up the next best weapon in the KGB’s possession and gently lays her out on the bed. He treasures their stolen moments, just as she does, and then they are punished for it in turn. She wishes she could take back her affections, if only to spare him the harsh embrace of the cryofreeze. She’d rather kill her heart than kill his soul. She works hard, and hopes for a day when she can save him. It doesn’t ever pan out quite right.

     In this existence and in this time, she has found him again, or he has found her, and they have made things right. They breathe in gentleness with each other, a contrast to the cruelty of the rest of their lives. Natasha kisses Bucky awake and rolls on top of him, only as coy as required to get a reaction (he doesn’t buy it for a moment but goes along with it anyway). They meet like the ocean meets the sea, the tide rushing in, they soar like fireworks in the sky, lighting up together. They exhale endearments like it’s the last thing they’ll ever say to each other. She slides into his bed-warmed arms and he carries her to the shower, and they use up all the hot water and end up right back in bed again. They’ll have to leave soon, and face the world, but for now, they are content. They are home.

#cw: blood #cw: death #lostsouldier #asked; #meme reply; #drabble; #ship: these frozen hearts (buckynat);