#evil viziers

[undercat-overdog]

Seducer is a very broad category. The femme fatale is a type of seducer but a sub-category only. Other sub-categories include "evil vizier/priest" and "devil who tempts with forbidden but desired knowledge," a la Mephistopheles in Faust (sorry, gotta be a shorter way to describe that). Sauron fits in the latter two, not the former. He was the evil vizier and priest in Numenor and Mephistopheles in Eregion and to Saruman.

What Sauron does with Denethor is less seduction and more disinformation, biased news, twitter algorithms: doomscrolling.

#sauron #meta #evil viziers and tempting devils aren't exactly not queer or sexually coded - definitely seducers with all that entails! #i'd love to see sauron as a wise middle-aged and very handsome man with a beard in numenor #think delgado!master in doctor who #or jafar #he would enjoy a villain goatee

[masochismustango]

It’s so funny to watch people wishing Tack or the Thief from “The Thief and the Cobbler” to be one of the Tumblr sexymen

Haha, my dear friends… The best Tumblr sexymen nominee is surely HIM

Ziggy has all the qualities to be one! Too bad he’s too underrated, but still, he’s like the diamond on the seabed!

If you don’t approve my idea, I’ll fight you, yo 🥊 🥊🥊

#marie tells things #the thief and the cobbler #the princess and the cobbler #zigzag #zigzag the grand vizier #screenshots #tumblr sexyman #he’s evil and kawaii at the same time and I love him so much #бля второй раз замечаю ошибки в тексте ну ёмаё

[courtjester69420]

Heartwarming! This man has made many friends and accrued many favours among the high ranking nobles and rulers that remain of Baldur’s Gate, as well as directly planted a close personal friend as the new Archduke

This will probably be. Fine.

#:) #aubergine kai #it’s always sunny in baldurs gate #aubergine was always gonna become the weird evil vizier figure to a person of power btw that’s part of his complicated lore #he’s so evil advisor coded sorry

[eri-223]

five things you might find in my fics

Tagged by @aldieb! This is a delightful challenge in part because it encourages me to check whether my favorite themes actually got in. Sometimes they show up in canon and then I do the opposite thing in fic (Eris & Toland's relationship being conducted mostly through ghost boyfriend astral plane letters becomes "what if they lived together" and such.) But still, I believe the stuff in canon is also in my fic and vice versa. So, more or less flippantly, we have:

long-distance relationships

tough lady x ominous guy

it's so sad that the hive had to spend millennia murdering innocent civilizations

a lance reddick character

a steve blum character

Eris alone should probably have her own spot on the list, but she's in several of the above categories. Tagging @dreamcrow @xivu-arath @synnthamonsugar @seventhscorpio @virusq

#hzd for ts #destiny 2 for ts #the timid truth #signal in static #I will never forget that post like queen x evil vizier #writings

[killjoy-prince]

In a shocking turn of events, Rui actually came home almost immediately! Only had to pull 20 times for him. Toya, on the other hand, didn't come home until 230 pulls, and with Kaito, I had to drag him home kicking and screaming

And while i was trying to pull for Toya and Kaito, Rui came home 3 more times, which made me lose my mind (in case you dont know my track record with getting his cards, I always have to spark him bc my acct is allergic to him so getting him 4 times was wild to me)

#prince's gaming tag #i still can't believe he came home so quickly and it was Kaito that had to be forced home #i will say they look really nice!! #toya looks so different tho like he really looks like an evil noble fi/re em/bl/em general #kaito gives me fun mercenary vibes #rui is like either the fun crazy general or like a vizier #they go well with the knights from last years white day event #the people who made AUs before this event where Rui is like a dark mage of sorts were so big brained that it became canon

[starlit-mansion]

Weeping at bdubs propping up a king so he can be the toadie to someone

#evil vizier behavior #hermitcraft #bdoubleo100

[mythsyourteacherhated]

How about a little magical mayhem? You’ll see why you can only trust demons to a point, why you can trust birds implicitly, and why you should never trust a vizier. Then in Gods and Monsters, the Angel of Death matches wits with a Jewish bride.

#mythology #episode #folklore #podcast #monsters #mythology podcast #podcastersunite #podcasters of tumblr #fairy tales #jewish #never trust a vizier #they’re all evil #seriously #all of them

[nimblermortal]

Both King Olaf, my brother, and King Magnus, his son, during their reign allowed only one earl at one time in the country.

Oh. OH. This changes my understanding a lot about what an earl is. That would have been good to know ages ago, it might have kept the Hakons straight!

#Norsebinge #icy sagas #so... more like my understanding of a duke then or perhaps a grand vizier #EVIL GRAND VIZIER YES #also side note: every time someone wants to rebel in Norway they go to Trandheim first #the Thronders are A L W A Y S up for a revolution

[kunosoura]

Anyway it’s crazy how much cooler Benedict’s ending was than Roland’s, not only did you have a way better final boss fight with cool dialogue from the recommended units, but the downside morally grey complications felt more natural. Less “oh we decided to join the really evil JRPG religion and created a really evil peace” and more “we seized power, created a new dynasty, ushered in an age of industry and left the most vulnerable of our citizens in the dust”.

#Benedict going from alright I got my revenge time to Kim’s out of shame #kms #to smiling his wicked evil vizier smile in the ending frame is soo funny

[demilypyro]

Tall dark haired woman who would have been a suspicious evil vizier manipulating the king in the dark ages forced instead to play videogames online

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

BORIS JOHNSON RESIGNS AS MP. Thoughts? The people howl for a new update to the Big Dog the Clown saga.

Yes this was not on my personal bingo card; my most recent Big Dog event was that a friend of mine works for air traffic control and recently had to delay BoJo's holiday flight by four hours, and on being told that this particular plane had to be prioritised for a runway slot because it contained an Important Clown promptly pushed it to the bottom of the priority list. Lol. And then all this! What larks.

Okay not a lot of detail yet still but LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE EVENTS OF 9TH JUNE, 2023 and you know what? It's been a while. Let's do it properly.

7.15am

Another day dawns in the reign of evil Grand Vizier-turned-PM Rishi Sunak. He's a very boring flavour of evil, tbh. Say what you will about Johnson, but at least there was spectacle and showmanship to his clownshow. Something for the children to boo and hiss. An animate ham in a villain's wig, something to really enjoy as you sit back, relax, and savour a tall, cool glass of schadenfreude.

By contrast Rishi just gets sycophants - who are no less ridiculous, but far more grey and boring - who pretend he's a tech bro because "he understands AI" and they think that will make him a visionary and a man of the future and maybe some sort of Elon Musk figure, because that's obviously a smashing template to be copied in a leader of a country.

This briefing was presumably drafted using ChatGPT.

Anyway, this is what we thought the day would be: another dreary overcast washout, livened up by Downing Street's latest attempt at making Sunak seem like a good idea to stave off the hulking spectre of Labour's inevitable GE win next year. How trite. How tedious. How mediocre.

What a shame it would be if... something were to liven it up.

8.39 am

Fun fact!

When a PM's term ends, as their last act in office, they get to present an Honours List. This means they write a list of all the people they reckon have been Jolly Good Sorts who have done Good Clowning and Supported The Community, and nominate those people for honours. Honours here can be anything from an MBE/OBE etc, to a Damehood/Knighthood, all the way up to entering the Peerage i.e. becoming a Lord. Traditionally, people have been fairly reasonable with these lists. Apart from anything else, the outgoing PM can only write the list - the new Prime Minister has to sign off on it, and it's usually the case, of course, that PMs are deposed by the opposition party.

Why am I mentioning this? Well: Boris, you see, has now presented his list to Sunak to validate. You may be unsurprised to learn that it contains quite a lot of clowns.

Another fun fact!

If a sitting MP is given a Peerage, they cannot continue to be an MP. MPs are elected. Lords are not. So an MP offered a lordship right now would have to stand down if they accepted, triggering a by-election in their seat that... well. That anyone could win, couldn't they? Ordinarily. Except Labour's shadow is growing, isn't it? I don't suppose Sunak would be all that happy about losing, for example, any Tory MPs nominated for a peerage right now.

What fun facts.

At 8.39am, Politics UK reveals an as-yet-unverified report that Nadine Dorries and Alok Sharma have been removed from Boris Johnson's honours list, and will go back to vetting.

(They also reveal that Big Dog's dad has been removed from the list, because nominating your dad for a Peerage is "inappropriate". Sorry, Bigger Dog. Apparently even corrupt ghoul Rishi Sunak has a limit to what open corruption he will allow, which is news to us all, most of all Rishi.)

10.41am

Nadine Dorries decides she will play to her strengths, and appear on TV to do some Public Speaking, which always goes well for her of course.

Nothing, let's remember, has been confirmed yet at all. But she's here to put people's minds at ease! No power-hungry status-chasing pink maniac, she! She is very clear in her aims.

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

Quite right, Nadine. That would be disastrous.

11.20am

Oh, it’s Tory think tank NRG’s conference in Doncaster today.  Gideon George Osborne, pig-stupid former Grand Vizier and idiot fail-heir to David "pig-fucker" Cameron, gives a speech.  Let's see some quotes!

On the Tories’ choices of chancellors since he personally fell on his sword over Brexit left the role:

“You can see when the partnership doesn’t work. The government's paralysed and the politics is terrible.”

Fair, but also you are a government, George.

On Tories who attack the civil service:

“We’re in charge of our country’s destiny. We should stop blaming others if we don’t get things right." 

... right. But you just... Uh.

On Tory culture warriors:

“It’s really important that the Conservative Party is excited about the country we aspire to lead… and doesn’t get in to ‘we’re against all these groups of people’. We’re the inclusive people.”

Well, points for clearing that absurdly low bar, I guess. Christ, I cannot BELIEVE Suella Braverman is making George fucking Osborne look good-by-comparison.

1pm

Ooh. Nadine's attempts to put minds at ease have inexplicably not worked, can't think why not. She's such a reassuring and charismatic speaker normally.

But the rumour is now FLYING about that Nadine has indeed been dropped from the honours list, and specifically because Sunak wants to avoid a by-election that will lose him more seats at a time when he is desperate for even a mat on the floor as long as it's blue.

Sorry, Nads. Still; this morning you were very clear that the constituency comes first, so I suppose that's okay. The priority now is that she MUST stay in position, so the Tories can keep their numbers steady. It is VITAL she remains an MP. Let's remember her exact words!

“The last thing I would want to do would be to cause a by-election in my constituency.”

3.45pm

Nadine Dorries tweets her resignation.

The last thing she does as an MP is indeed to cause a by-election in her constituency.

3.50pm

Except this is Nadine Dorries we're talking about. She's found some flashy balls to juggle, look, and a boy to pour custard down her trousers.

Not five minutes after dropping the bombshell, she deletes the last tweet announcing her resignation, and tweets a new one.

The new tweet says, “it is now time for another to take the reins” as the MP for Mid-Bedfordshire.

The original tweet said, “it is now time for someone younger to take the reins.”

*

On Talk TV, Dorries says that "something significant did happen to change my mind", but doesn’t elaborate.

3.56pm

The whispers are whispering. The rumours are rumouring. The knives are sharpening.

Nadine's now-former seat is Mid-Bedfordshire, and has been Tory since 1929; a safe seat, which certainly explains how Nadine fucking Dorries managed to hold it for as long as she did.

An MP on the right of the Tory party says that if the Tories lose the Mid Bedfordshire by-election, it’ll open questions about Rishi Sunak's leadership CLOWNFALL 3: REVENGE OF BIG DOG LET'S GOOOOOO

3.57pm

Nadine Dorries is removed from the WhatsApp group.

I would love to know who leaked that image. I really should not have that image. Ah well. Now you do too.

4.12pm

Good tweet alert!

5.08pm

Phew! What a day. Let's see how Rishi's getting on.

He approves the rest of BoJo's honours list. Shall we take a look at our newly-honoured citizens? Shall we see what familiar names crop up?

Honours for staff at centre of Partygate Jack Doyle, Rosie Bate-Williams and Shelly Williams-Walker (and a lot of other terrible and disgraced people who were loyal to Johnson, and some of Carrie Antoinette’s friends).

Damehoods for Andrea Jenkyns and Priti Patel.

Knighthoods for Jacob Rees-Mogg, Conor Burns, and Michael Fabricant.

An OBE for Kelly Jo Dodge, Parliamentary hairdresser.

Also honours for Ben Houchen, currently at the heart of a media storm about dodgy property deals.  His huge regeneration project in Teesside is subject to a government investigation regarding the governance, finance and value for money.

*

(Interesting point – Tory MPs Allister Jack and Nigel Adams were offered peerages, but decided to wait, since accepting now would trigger by-elections.

Why were they offered at all, do you think?)

*

So … this means Michael Fabricant is now Sir Michael Fabricant.  Like, actually.  Genuinely.

Nice one, Rishi. Thank goodness you understand AIs.

5.44pm

The Guardian’s Pippa Crerar - journalist who brought down Big Dog one Partygate reveal at a time - tweets her guide to he honours list:

Martin Reynolds, former PPS, invited 200 officials to drinks in Downing St garden.  He told officials to "bring your own booze", later adding: "We seem to have got away with it".

Shelley Williams-Walker, getting a Damehood, was No 10 head of opps & now runs his office.  At No 10 party the night before Prince Philip's funeral she was dubbed "DJ SWW" for her banger playlist.

Jack Doyle & Rosie Bate-Williams, who get OBEs, were press spox who repeatedly denied the parties happened

Dan Rosenfield, who gets a peerage, quit in mass exodus of senior No 10 staff as anger over Partygate grew.  Former chief of staff faced reports he was among senior Downing Street officials who attended a Christmas quiz when restrictions were in place.

Shaun Bailey, who ran unsuccessfully for London mayor, gets a peerage, and Ben Mallett, a close friend of Carrie Antoinette's who ran Zac Goldsmith’s disastrous mayoral campaign, gets an OBE. Both are in this picture of a lockdown-flouting party at CCHQ:

What a sea of punchable faces.

7.58pm

But we've been so focused on Nadine! She's fucked up her juggling, look, but she's sliding around on the rollerskates, ever so distracting. But here's the thing, Tumblrs, here's the thing:

Among all of this, what's the Chief Clown doing?

The Privilege Committee reveals in their draft report that Boris Johnson misled Parliament, and recommends a sanction of more than 10 days.

Does that sound too little? Are you wishing it were smething more meaningful? Let me help put it in context.

This sanction would be enough to trigger a by-election in Johnson’s seat.

8.02pm

Boris Johnson

QUITS

as an MP

The committee said Johson had “impugned the integrity” of the House of Commons. Fascinating! I didn't know its honour had ever been pugned.

He accuses the inquiry of trying to “drive me out”!!!!

"It is very sad to be leaving parliament - at least for now - but above all I am bewildered and appalled that I can be forced out, anti-democratically, by a committee chaired and managed, by Harriet Harman, with such egregious bias".

Worth noting that the committee has a Conservative majority, mind. But you mustn't let things like facts get in the way of your feelings, BlowJo. You never have as a politician. Nor as a journalist, come to that.

(Also SIDE NOTE – “at least for now”??  What are you planning, Big Dog??  I suppose Nadine is leaving an empty seat...)

8.41pm

Christopher Hope of the Daily Telegraph reports he’s heard rumours of a THIRD Tory MP potentially resigning – and another Johnson loyalist at that. Lol. Trololol. Lmao, even. Perhaps rofl.

11.43pm

And finally, the day is wrapped up with the Guardian revealing their front cover for the following day:

Big Dog is OUT, hot trans bloke is IN.

Not a bad finish.

#asks #long post #politik #the adventures of big dog the clown

[comradekatara]

long feng is actually really awesome. scheming qing dynasty imperial eunuch puppeting the king with his army of spies. but no one really gives a shit about him because he was immediately and ruthlessly undermined by a handful of kids and so he doesn’t seem nearly as cool as he should be. but it’s literally not his fault that sokka and aang and azula snatched his queue and came for his whole career. they were operating via different narrative mechanics and rules. but before those meddling kids came along and deposed him he was literally running an entire police state and manipulating everyone in the city with aplomb. evil viziers deserve love too you guys :(

#long feng #he also just has a smug rancid aura #but like. in his case I do think it is at least somewhat deserved #no one but me cares about kuei’s court but that’s okay #i will contemplate the imperial concubines and council of generals and such all by myself that’s FINE….

[evilwizard]

Remember to provide enrichment for your backstabbing counselors, scheming viziers, and nefarious court wizards!

Consider adding some, or all of the following to their enclosures:

An eerily pristine rose garden with extremely sharp thorns!

Statues of yourself (or busts of your face) for them to smash against the wall!

A pair (or triplet) of orphans with a disgustingly large fortune!

Secret passageways and lairs! (Remember, they get stressed if left out in the open for too long!)

An animal companion who is also, inexplicably, evil!

A chess set where the white side has your house crest emblazoned upon the pieces, so they can symbolically tip over the king while chuckling menacingly!

Hidden daggers! Everywhere! Truly, you can’t have too many hidden daggers.

If all this doesn’t work, you can always consider letting them think they killed you for a bit. Just slumping over after enjoying your evening wine can do a world of good… just let them get their monologues out every now and again!

We all know caring for Schemers can be a big hastle. But it is so, so worth it to see the hate in their eyes as they smile treacherously at you each morning. That’s what being a pet owner’s all about :)

#please read this in the tiktok lady voice

[anony-geist]

Jonathan Harker and Doomed Bride imagery:

-Lenore (May 4th-5th): Directly referenced ('Denn die Todten reiten schnell') on the carriage ride on St. George's Eve, when evil surfaces. Jonathan, covered with flowers and a crucifix, rides with his own disguised Death all night to arrive at his octagonal room and bed, like Lenore who is supposedly led to her marriage bed, which is actually her tomb. Death and the maiden.

-Shahrazad (May 7th-8th): Jonathan, after engaging Dracula in telling him his history, says that his diary resembles the beginning of Arabian Nights. The story's heroine, Shahrazad, is the new bride of a cruel vizier who kills his own wives (on their wedding night). She distracts his wrath and delays her own doom by engaging him in storytelling. She is meant to be the next victim, once he is done with her.

An obvious parallel is May 8th, but that night it's Dracula who speaks. Jonathan is the one who normally tells stories every night, until dawn. “Why, there is the morning again!” Dracula says. Jonathan says that this nocturnal existence has been taking a toll on him.

One thing is for certain. Like her, Jonathan is next.

-Bluebeard's Bride (May 7th+May 12+May 15): Not directly referenced in the novel, however, Jonathan bears a strong resemblance to Bluebeard's new bride being warned by her lord husband to never open a forbidden room in his mansion. She disobeys and enters it. She finds the corpses of his old brides, like trophies, which he had killed. She, again, is meant to be next.

Jonathan gets warned three times and indeed disobeys, opens the room, and finds (un)dead women who the Count once loved. We find out he is to be the fourth eternally entrapped victim in their company.

Two of these stories feature a powerful noble with a brand new wife he intends to kill, like his previous ones. In both stories she delays her fate by being diplomatic and playing along for survival. Two have the theme of execution on their wedding bed. As intimate as a bite on the throat on their final night.

#dracula daily #jonathan harker #and yet Mina is the reincarnated wife... #let the bride kill her predator #bluebeard #lenore #one thousand and one nights #dracula spoilers

[mikkeneko]

Wifebeam SY!SQQ art is of course excellent, but I admit a particular preference for art where he ABSOLUTELY still looks like your stereotypical evil grand vizier who probably packs poison under his nails

#shen qingqiu #shen yuan #svsss

[winepresswrath]

Ianthe and Coronabeth are just asking "If one of us is the evil vizier and one of us is the heroic knight errant then who is the princess in the tower we're devotedly serving or perhaps creeping menacingly on? Not you, Jod." Then Ianthe tries to put Coronabeth back in her princess box so she can become the tragic king being manipulated and controlled from the shadows while Coronabeth fumes because Ianthe didn't let her die heroically completing fair lady's quest.

#more Gideon and Harrow parallels bcs harrow is so court wizard doing evil experiments in the basement coded #and gideon has every hero's journey flag imaginable #and yet like coronabeth and ianthe they are actually both princesses #just like. in their way. #rip palamedes you would have loved geoffrey of monmouth