#everyone has their own way of dealing w things. and just bc one usually bottles everything doesnt mean they may never talk abt certain stuf

[padfootastic]

Ahaha thank you for the nice comments in tags <3 i love Remus but he seems bit like a spineless people pleaser and after dating somebody who would rather lie about their feelings than have people be mildly upset with them..... I chose violence 🗡

no but ur so right because!!! i’ve been sleeping on this for a while but let’s talk about remus’ personality traits and how they have the potential to make him a bad/absent partner, at best, and an abusive one, at worst. everyone wants to turn him into this image of perfection just bc he’s such an ‘uwu victim’ figure in fanon but that’s SO far from the truth omg

(i am…just gonna put this remus character analysis under a cut bc it got unnecessarily long and i wouldn’t want u to read it if u didn’t want to lol)

so, for one, he’s manipulative. he has no combinations in twisting the truth or dodging it entirely for his own benefit. like, the man could stand in front of his dead best friend’s orphaned son & not even allude to the fact that he knew his dad. he had no problem bringing james & lily up in the most twisted ways possible to guilt/emotionally influence harry. so remus in a relationship would have the capacity to either knowingly or unknowingly manipulate his partner. the definition of gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss except more sinister.

next, his spinelessness. either as a defensive measure to deal w anti-werewolf hostility or as an innate personality trait, remus has the habit of just—not standing up for things. he looks away when his friends act like assholes, even when he’s in a position of authority (which yes, u can argue that he’s afraid of losing them but atp they’ve literally risked life & magic & azkaban for him so either way, he comes off badly—either he doesn’t mind himself, or he doesn’t fully trust their friendship, or it’s just easier to look away). in a relationship, this can manifest as bottling everything inside u until it makes u bitter or u violently unload on the other person in an entirely disproportionate manner. the dynamic would also be a bit skewed. the people pleasing u mentioned is also such a big thing that people usually overlook. when ur constantly trying to make the other person happy and don’t want to rock the boat, that is a cocktail for miscommunication and breakdown of relationships. ur also constantly putting the emotional burden of constructively dealing w issues on ur partner instead of doing it urself.

connected to his cowardice is his habit of running away when things get tough. remus is conflict avoidant; he does not like to put himself in a position where he has to take a decisive stance, especially if it’s against what others around him believe in. he runs away when things get tough, and tbh, for me, this comes from a constant spiral of self hatred & self victimisation, both of which stem from his experience as a werewolf. in every difficult situation, he centres himself & his discomfort and instead of dealing with it and moving forward for a constructive solution, he decides that stepping back from it altogether is better. which, yeah, works well for him bc he can temporarily put a pin in it but it’s kinda terrible for everyone’s who’s left behind. so i also think that remus is a profoundly selfish character who doesn’t look beyond the end of his own nose. u can imagine how those traits might manifest themselves in a relationship.

and his people pleasing!! so this might be verging on fanon but his gratitude and/or devotion to dumbledore sets an…interesting tone. it’s also another example of how he cannot conceive himself in any other term except as a victimised werewolf. the marauders did a lot for him, arguably even more than dumbledore’s token representation formula, but he never felt indebted to them the way he did for D. dumbledore also kind of makes him feel needed? validates his feelings? and that just speaks to a very twisted sense of self for me. which, again, won’t bode well for his other interpersonal relations.

also, on a very hc note, i also feel like remus just…does not have any significant capacity to love. he takes and takes and takes but doesn’t give much in return. this doesn’t even have to be an actively malicious decision, tbh, just a very self-centred one. he doesn’t realise how much he’s taking bc he’s only thinking about his own circumstances.

all of these are also just why i can’t see r/s working out in any healthy manner. remus is exactly antithetical to everything sirius is/believes in, and not even in the fun ‘opposites attract’ way. but that’s another rant no one asked for lmao

#anti remus lupin #just to be safe lol #(i would not want to read sumn like this for j or s) #i read this harry/tonks postwar fic once #that had part r/s allusions #and it was basically about how terrible remus was as a dad & husband bc he kept running out to deal w his demons #not realising or caring ab who he’s leaving behind #and constantly kept making false promises and centering only his own grief #and harry steps up to take care of teddy and tonks #the romance is cool and all but it’s the characterisation of remus that really struck me. bc it was so new. even tho it’s basically #an extension of canon ykwim? #and i think we should talk about that more instead of turning him into a paragon of virtue and morality and parenthood #dude tumblr just ate my ENTIRE answer for a who monite and i was so ??? fully ready to give up i s2g lol #i also have so many thoughts of remus victimising himself #and consequently spitting on everything his friends and family did for him #bc those are destructive thinking patterns and no one except the person themself can take the first step #regardless of how much support they get #and remus just. never wanted to get out of it lbr #i am so sorry for this rant—u didn’t ask for it but ur fic LIT something in me #and i just. couldn’t stop once i started 😭😭 #pen’s asks #pen’s notes

[lesbiancarat]

PREACH IT!! SAY IT LOUDER FOR TH3 PEOPLE IN THE BACK!! *stands up and claps*

Just your comment, please I want to tattoo that entire response on my forehead so people could understand some stuff fjshdhsh. I very much agree with everything you have said, like I do think the bighit deal was more so with the help of say with western connections (which again does NOT mean pledis could have done this without bighit. They clearly could but I saw a theory on a YouTube comment where someone said they focused on the core fanbase aka in Korea which is their main market and it paid off imo) from helping with buisness side of things like we do have merch to buy directly (which I have my opinion on some merch ideas like why the fudge is bighit selling us water!? Bro you thought that worked with bts doesn't mean it will with seventeen) which wasn't common in the past or being able to film concerts with ease during the pandemic. Bighit clearly acknowledges that seventeen is a monster group in their own right I mean as you said, they break records and are 2nd behind bighits own group. They are EXTEMELY big in Japan. They are their own song makers, bang pd confirmed this when pleids was first announced in a press video so the fact people brush all of their achievements and statements because why, their streaming numbers are low?

And oohh such an interesting point as well! Very much i think the current mindset of kpop fans (or at least some) is that streaming is what equals success which to some degree, yes but as you said, many ignore the casual side of listening. People that find the song due to it being viral for whatever reason, a fancam getting popular like in the cass of hani from exid or whatever reason. Dwc is a great example and I saw those comments under their recent performance of that song and it makes me proud that the boys have a song like that. That it has its own "fanbase" quote on quote with how well loved that song simply is and well known. You don't have to have fans doing crazy streaming to be considered "popular", I mean I could give more examples but I don't wanna make this too long nor cause unwanted fandrama lol. Those casual listeners are extremely important and powerful I mean brave girls is a great recent example of that I think! It very much does seem like that when looking at the views, its mainly the core fanbase which isn't bad nor should we feel bad for not having crazy numbers. They seem more organic if that makes sense? Plus I agree, we can stream and can explain how it works, clearing up confusion about it like no emojis don't take down views and yes youtube does take away views but that is due to it making sure it isn't bots only viewing the video. Explaining that streaming should be done with a chill mindset and its ok if you don't stream. But hey, maybe we're too weird of fans to think like this fjajdjajs.

But some few updates! Seventeen is back on Instagram, fully everyone is posting away. Makes me happy hehe m, a bit funny it took so long for them to comeback but am happy nonetheless. The interactions that seungkwan does makes me super soft. Seventeen are also back with doing proper promotions so yay (also pledis is S Wording people over the mingyu issue finally so bless). As for me on the personal side of things. I have OFFICIALLY finished that video game ^_^ it took me a while but I have finished it, my last goodbye was completed and am at ease so to speak? Lowkey am planning on beating all the trophies in the game cx also may I ask about your thoughts on the album? Favorite songs, have you bought the physical cd?

ok finally getting around to this lol!!

and yeah that's absolutely true, pledis focused on kr promotions/fanbase first and foremost (and then expanded to Japan and is now looking toward the US/western promos in general). which i agree was a good thing. i think some companies get too greedy with wanting a group to be ~internationally famous~ that they ignore their Korean fanbase a bit too much and I've seen groups that have failed bc of it, so I'm glad that didn't happen w SVT

and yeah in terms of merch I'm genuinely grateful as an american that for this cb at least there was a US distributor which made things super convenient but wtf is going on w hybes merch those water bottles are not it TT it just sucks to see bc it's clear that at least as far as merch goes hybe doesn't have an interest in like. doing market research to figure out what carats want. which is funny bc they don't even have to start from scratch they could literally just ask pledis?? and tbh what's sad is i don't think hybe is like. purposefully trying to sabotage SVTs merch from my limited perspective i get the feeling they treat all their groups merch like that :( but since us carats have seen in the past what kind of merch we're capable of getting it's disappointing to see such a downgrade. and like tbf pledis's merch decisions were never perfect like that time they tried to sell replicas of the SVT rings and carats were rightfully pissed bc those are something the members earned, not something to be bought. and i also don't think hybe never has or never will make good merch, I'm sure they're fully capable of it. but it just seems obvious that they've put WAY less if any effort into understanding both the market (ie carats) and seventeens brand compared to pledis so like of course most carats aren't gonna like it :/ i really hope they step up their game and do better research or bring ppl onto the team who better understand svt's brand

and yeah i very much agree with everything u said about streaming! tbh i think this mindset isn't as uncommon as you might think, I've actually met a fair number of kpop fans who are critical of streaming culture but as u know there also are a lot of ppl who are really into it and those ppl tend to have the loudest voices. and unfortunately part of streaming culture is that if you question the methods or don't participate you must be a bad fan or secretly an anti or something ridiculous like that. so ppl who aren't into streaming culture end up learning to not be too vocal about it bc of how bad the backlash can be

yes! I'm glad to see insta line (+ now dk!!) active again. i still wonder why pledis made them stop using their ind instas, like I know all the theories people have as to why but honestly none that I've seen seem to fully make sense. it will probably be one of those things where we'll just never know the full story. but i digress!! regardless of the reason I'm just glad to have them back after all this time ^^

congrats on finishing the game! I'm glad it was able to help you work through your grief a bit and that you feel more at ease now ;-; and good luck with the rest of the trophies if you end up trying to get them!

as always I'm answering this a bit late so you may have seen already but i did get the physical album! it was a birthday gift so i only got it the other day, but according to my mom it arrived almost immediately after the album was released so as i said before, I'm very grateful for the US shop this time around ;-; as for the songs usually it's easy for me to pick one or two favorites but this time around it's genuinely a 4-way tie between heavens cloud and all the unit songs TT (i also love anyone and RTL, they're just slightly lower on the list in terms of preference if u get what i mean). i really hope some time in the future we get some kind of performance or special video or something for heavens cloud, since so many carats and the members themselves seem to really love it. i also think it's a song that brings up such beautiful imagery that it would be a shame if it never got any type of visual representation, you know? I'm also really curious to see a performance of wave, since iirc the members said the choreo is a lot more laid back/different from other perf unit choreos?? + that song also evokes such great imagery for me that like... makes feel like it needs some kind of movement so I'm just itching to see a performance. kind of like... even if i didn't know it was a perf unit song i would think it would be great to choreograph to if that makes any sense dhfkf. but yeah overall i think it's just a really solid album, as expected from summerteen ^^

#melia.ask #📖 anon #long post

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Shadows in the dark

A/N: this was requested by anon, I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think! If anyone has any requests, please let me know! 

Summary: can you do a reddie x teen daughter where she thinks she sees a shadow figure but it’s just bc she watched a horror movie, n she screams so richie n eddie come n automatically assume it’s IT n go into fight mode but she reassures them she was just seeing things, but then she’s suspicious af bc of their reactions so they try to like explain the whole pennywise thing but rlly vague and like half bs so tht they don’t scare her n they acc get away w it.  

The thunderstorm pours heavily outside of Raina’s bedroom window, drenching everything in sight. It was the first night of the year that this happened, and she had forgotten just how scary it is, to be faced with this kind of . The horror movie she watched a few hours prior doesn’t help her case either, the images of dark figures stalking girls outside in their backyards flashing through her mind every time a bolt goes off.

The window is located on the left side of her bed, above a cozy seating arrangement Rania uses to read and indicate that she requires alone time. Though it usually symbolizes her calm, it now appears ominously, something she should be scared off.  

She fumbles with her phone, trembling impatiently until the screen lights up, illuminating the room so she can see. She groans in frustration when she looks at the time, barely three am, falling back into the bed and burying her head in her pillow.

The storm croaks outside, loud and un-bothered in it’s intensity, making Rania wonder if anyone else is awaken by the weather phenomenon.  ‘Shut up’, she mumbles stupidly, as if it’s going to listen to her, but it reminds her of the times when her pops used to stay up with her when she was little and afraid of the storm, and that causes her to chuckle.

She’s older now, and not so easily spooked, except when she watches a scary movie. This particular movie was called hush, and even in the light of day it frightened her. The idea of not being able to hear whether or not someone was breathing down your neck, or calling out for you seemed manifested straight out of one of her nightmares.

The storm rings loud enough to drown out any other sound that might emit, but that’s only her brain talking, tricking her into being queasy of nothing. There’s not a thing that’s going to happen, and logically she knows that, so she tries to shut her eyes and will herself to sleep.

It’s not going to happen, the three am hour sign burned on the back of her eyelids. She taps her fingers against the edge of the bed restlessly, shifting and twisting in her blankets until sweat starts to build above her eyebrows and she frustratingly kicks the comforter off of her.

Glancing at the window, firmly shut and the curtains drawn over it, Rania debates if it worth opening her window to let some cool air in. The hot summer sun is unforgiving these days, so scorning hot that it feels like your skin will burn right off the flesh if you stay outside for too long.

A bit of relief of the heat would be welcome, yet she almost falters, then curses herself with how foolish she’s being. Her pops is famous, and they’re living in an expensive neighborhood with a security guard, no one can harm her. She opens the window up an inch, and before heading back to bed, Rania shuffles towards the living room to grab a glace of water.

It isn’t uncommon for her to wake up, usually around the same time too, so she learns to deal with it, eating or drinking something or trying things like yoga. Though rarely helpful, Rania does discover new things and interests, so she takes it as a win.

An explosion of lightning brightens up the room, so she leaves the lights off as she shambles towards the fridge. It’s dead quiet, everyone having gone to bed, which makes her feel like she’s alone in the house. Another thunder crack causes her head to whip up from where she was ducked down to grab the water, eyeing the room twice, but coming up empty handed.

Rania hurries to pluck a water bottle and run up the stairs back to the safety of her room, peeking over her shoulder multiple times to ensure that there’s no one watching her. When she reaches her door, she throws it open, duks into the room, and then promptly shoves it closed with a loud bang.

She winces, the noise way too loud, though thankfully neither her dad, nor her pops stir. The rain ticks away on her window, some of it slipping through the opening and spattering in her room, resulting in a wet puddle being formed.

‘Fucking great’, Rania mutters when she notices, the pool extending right before her eyes. She turns halfway to her closet on the right side of the room, a wooden terra cotta colored one that uncle Bill got for her when they moved in, searching for an item that is allowed to get wet.

Towels aren’t at her disposal right now, and she’s not jumping at the idea of leaving her room again to go get one, so she improvises, by using a cloth that will be washed in the morning.

She takes hold of an old sweater that’s non usable right now anyway, and then circles in the direction of the window. A scream tears from her lips as she does, a shadow looming by the window leering at her as he sits on the window seat.

Screeching, Rania trips over her feet and falls on the ground, the sweater dropping from her hands, then scrambles back towards the door in an effort to get away from the silhouette. Her hands cover her face, like she wants to protect herself even if there were no visible weapons or the person preparing to attack her.

With burning eyes, tears that threaten to push themselves over the edge, she squints one eyelid open at the lack of movement. The room is empty.

Rania’s heart beats a mile a minute, her breathing fast and erratic, yet she manages to laugh manically. It was only a catch of the light, induced by her own imagination, petrifying her within an inch of her life.

She inhales and holds, then exhales slowly, controlling her breathing so she calms down. Several footsteps thunder on the laminate flooring in the hallway. Not fast enough to dodge the unlatching door, she receives a blow to the head, knocking her down once again.

‘Auw’, she complains, cupping the back of head in one hand and rubbing over the bump.

‘Rania, are you okay?’ Her dads pile into the room, switching the light on, searching frantic until they see her, and scurry beside her.

‘Rania talk to us, are you hurt? What happened?’ Eddie, her dad, clutches her body, half hanging over her, and pulling her as close as possible.

Richie, her pops, is standing on her other side, holding a lamp tightly in his one hand, while the other one latches on to her shoulder.

‘Nothing dad, I thought I saw something, but it’s not real.’

Up close, she can detect the tremors originating from her dad, and the hand of her pops shakes too.

‘You need to tell us alright, even if you think we won’t believe you, we will,’ Eddie promises, Richie nodding along vigorously.

The strangeness of their responses causes an alarm bell to go off in the back of Rania’s brain. She tilts her head sideways, peering up at her dad’s with a quizzical look in her eyes.

‘Okayy..’, she draws up, her voice taking on a questionable tone. She makes an attempt to inquire why they’re acting the way they do, but Richie and Eddie engage in their own conversation now.

‘She won’t tell us, we never told anyone either.’ Eddie says, still keeping Rania close at bay.

‘Well Eds, all the adults in our town fucking sucked, especially your mom.’

‘Fuck off Richie. Do you honestly want to joke about this right now? What if it’s IT asshole? What if the clown returned?’ They’re rushing through the sentences like they are hunted on by the devil himself, complete with wild gestures and raising voices as panic and hysteria seem to control them more and more.

‘I didn’t intend for it be a joke Eddie, I mean it. She was a fucking bitch so yeah, you obviously weren’t going to tell her shit,’ Richie responds irritated.

This wasn’t the usual bickering her parents did on a day to day bases, this time both were annoyed with the other, and Richie being vexed was a rare thing.

The storm rages on outside, three crying out thanks to the wind that blows strongly, but entirely the last thing on Rania’s mind right now.

‘Dad, pops it’s fine, leave it.’

‘It’s not fine, stop saying it’s fine.’ Eddie snapped, staring at Rania with poorly concealed terror. Her dad never snaps at her, ever, furthering suspicion in Rania that something was really, really wrong.

‘Sorry, sorry’, he relented, ‘that was rude.’ It is, but Rania is more concerned than angry anyway. She’s anxious that her dad might have a panic attack, even if he hadn’t had one in years. His face is red, and his hand digs in his pockets, aiming to find his inhaler.

‘We have to call Stan’, Richie distracts, seizing both Eddie’s, and Rania’s hand.

‘Wait what? why?’ Rania asks, pulling her hand out of his grip. Uncle Stan lives in Atlanta, which is a plain ride away, he’s not easily accessible.

‘And Bill. Maybe Mike too.’

‘Guys’, Rania yells out, frustration getting the upper hand. Why won’t anyone listen to what she has to say?

‘I watched a horror movie, I just got spooked. Nothing happened. I opened the window and the curtains moved in a way that looked like there was someone sitting there. But there wasn’t.’ She pointedly fixes her gaze on both Eddie and Richie, to get her point across.

‘Is someone going to tell me what this is all about? Why would we need anyone to come here?’ The tension dibs out of Richie and Eddie, albeit slowly, and they nervously communicate in silence.

‘Hello, is anyone gonna fill me in?’ Rania repeated, as she is not used to being kept in the dark. She thought Eddie and Richie told her everything, so it comes as a shock now she reckons that there’s something hidden.

‘There was a clown.’ Eddie starts, despite the shaking of Richie’s head. ‘And every year at the carnival, he scared us half to death by mean pranks.’

Rania blinks once, then twice. ‘That’s it? That’s what terrified you guys enough to want to call your friends?’

‘I guess we’re just traumatized’, Eddie chuckled uneasy, flatting a curl on the top of her head to keep his hands busy.

‘Psst,’ Richie draws her attention, ‘your dad is spooked because we’re the clowns in high school too. He’s just afraid to admit it.’

Rania giggles, always counting on her pops to make light of a situation, making her instantly more calm.

She misses the thumb Eddie gestures at Richie, gratitude flowing through him that the topic has been avoided, mostly.

They’re both still on high alert, the trouble Pennywise cost then a long way from forgotten, but outwardly they come across as composed.  

A tree branch slaps against the window, starling all three people of the family, although they all pretend that it didn’t.

‘Is anyone up for watching a movie?’ Richie suggests, shoulder shimmying to draw the attention his way.

Rania wisps her head towards her dad, applying the puppy dog eyes her pops had taught her to convince Eddie to do something he most likely won’t approve of.

This time, he relents without any type of resistance.

‘Yeah, come on, I’ll get the hot chocolate milk.’  With a last, lingering hug, Eddie releases his hold on Rania, getting up from where he’s sitting on the floor.

Richie hugs Rania as well, smiling brightly at her with the giant smile. ‘Come on,’ he says, then ushers Rania out of the room.

The suspicion still lingers, the story her dad made up not making much sense, but Rania allows herself to follow them downstairs anyway. It’s late, and though she’s aware that no one hung around her room, she’s apprehensive all the same.

She’ll find out what all of this is about, for example by exploring and question one of her uncles or her aunts, but that can wait. Right now, all she’ll watch a movie, and slip off to sleep under the watchful eye of her parents, who outside of her knowledge, don’t dare the blink away from her once.  

#reddie #reddie imagine #richie tozier imagine #eddie kaspbrak imagine #reddie x daughter #my writing #reddie as parents #eddie as a dad #richie as a dad #it chapter two imagine #it chapter 2

[jcurncy]

@gcldess asked: a lot of questions i’m gonna break down 1 by 1.

p.s i loooooveeee jackee w my whole-ass heart.

under the cut bc it’s LONG

does ching remember her mother, or just things she heard from her dad?

ching has very distant memories of her mother. her face, her perfume, her voice. if she tries to remember her mom she can very distinctly remember these things, and they make her feel very small and vulnerable. chang doesn’t talk much about her unless ching asks, and ching stopped asking around the time pucca’s parents went missing. ching will always have a piece of her heart missing that her mother took with her, but it becomes much smaller the older she gets and the closer she grows to her friends.

how does she deal with won's death?

not very well at first. she knew it was coming because won was getting old. she got fairly sick and ching just knew it was over. she fought for won as hard as she could with vet visits and medicines and anything she could do. won was her closest confidant and best friend after her mother left and before she was very close with abyo and pucca. her five stages look like this:

denial: lasts all the way through the first vet visit. when the vet announces that yes there’s nothing much they can do for won, she breaks down in the room right there, holding won close to her chest and crying. abyo or pucca went with her, and whoever it was just sits next to her and let’s her cry.pucca hates seeing ching cry, so she’d probably try to cheer her up, but it’s not very successful. abyo would also try and cheer her up, but he’d ultimately fail, too. garu would probably just let her cry, and when she was okay and ready to leave he’d make sure she got home okay.

anger: she’s in the dojo attacking anything for a week. if she’s not spending time with won during her last few weeks, she’s trying to kill something.any of their typical enemies attack? ching slices through them like nothing. her best friend is dying there’s nothing she can do to fix it so get the fuck out of her way. tobe probably picks up on it pretty quickly and avoids attacking when either of the girls are around.

bargaining: it doesn’t last long. she pleads with everyone she can think of that could save him, but even master soo can’t meddle in death.

depression: it’s so bad she can’t get out of bed. she and won just stay in bed for days. won is sick but trying to comfort ching until the end. it’s only when ching realizes this that she is able to pick herself up out of bed every day. she may not do much more than get up and get dressed and other usual hygiene things, but she gets. out. of. bed. and sometimes that’s all you can ask for.

acceptance: she thinks she’s accepted it before won finally passes, but she doesn’t actually seem to accept it until won’s tiny casket has been buried behind the dojo. there’s a small ceremony, with all they’re family. ching says a few words about how much won had always meant to her, and how she’s sad to see her go, but is glad she’s no longer in pain. she has the other chickens by now, and they knew won too, so their all grieving. garu doesn’t break his vow of silence very often but i can see this being one of the exceptions.(@honrr) having her other chickens does help her move on. having other creatures to live for, things to accomplish, goals to meet, helps her feel better. she spends more time tending to her flower garden, painting and photographing and enjoying her more artistic hobbies. she grows, she copes, and she never forgets. she has a plaque made that hangs in the living room. “In Honor of Won, The Greatest Chicken Best Friend a Girl Could Have.” The other chickens can’t read so they can’t be offended.

who does ching hate more, tobe, dada, or ring ring, and why?

ching will always tell you she doesn’t feel hate, but it’s not true. she hates bugs. but she doesn’t truly hate any of these people. she hates parts of their personalities, but she sees the potential for goodness in all of them. she knows tobe is capable of love, and ring ring and dada too, for that matter. ching believes that if someone is capable of loving their capable of growing.

she hates that tobe can’t just leave garu alone. she doesn’t know what their feud is over, but she finds it so annoying that it’s so constant.

she hates the way dada treats pucca. how pucca is always so kind and forgiving of him, but he stabs her in the back and helps kidnap her uncles! so right now dada is in first place for most hated.

she hates who ring ring has become. how manipulative and mean she is. part of her can’t believe they were ever friends with her, and another part wonders where they all went wrong. ching sees a lot of her own insecurities in ring ring, and she genuinely pities her. ring ring is a reminder to her that she can’t bottle up and hide all the things she doesn’t like about herself. she has to be open about them. it’s not always easy, but she tries hard every day to take the steps necessary to not feel spiteful to her best friend in the world.

so it’s probably dada. she sees true potential for good in tobe, and just pities ring eing, but dada has seriously traumatized pucca, and that does not fly with ching.

what is ching's favorite movie?

she honestly rly likes old kung fu movies that abyo makes her watch, they’re her guilty pleasure. she’ll put up a fight on movie night but it’s all for show. her favorite is the original karate kid. ching doesn’t have one all-time favorite. she has certain movies that are top-tier, and karate kid is always hovering in the top five.she;s also a sucker for cheesy chick flicks from the late ‘90′s early 2000′s

when does she first realize she has feelings for abyo?

oh man. that’s.

so at first it’s like. “this is a dude i’ve known my whole life, i think he’s cute, we’re kids”. that kinda crush. where you like them bc you’ve known each other forever and everyone thinks you’ll get together anyways. ching glides along with this no problem. she doesn’t realize it goes deeper until abyo starts getting rly flirty (in-show) and she realizes that the anger it makes her feel is really jealousy. she’s 11 so she doesn’t think on it too hard. just continues with the “he’s my boyfriend” and getting frustrated at him for flirting so much. she also takes a lot of cues from pucca because she’s never seen a functional relationship. she knew pucca’s parents, but they were just her best friends parents, they never felt like an example of a relationship to her. so pucca’s constant pursuit spurs ching’s. ching is not as outgoing with her affection as pucca is and she has impulse control. so when it hits her like “wow these are real feelings.’ would be like high school age. u know. when ur figuring all that shit out in the first place. she takes a good long think about her feelings more in general, and she notices how often abyo made her feel this or that, more than pucca or garu or won or anyone. abyo is always right there. and that’s when it kinda clicks for her that abyo’s like her person. he’s an idiot. but he’s loyal and lovable and kind. he cares about her.

is she ever jealous of pucca?

it’s not super often, but it does pop up. pucca is sooga village’s “it” girl. she’s cute and sweet and popluar (for good and obvious reasons). and ching is nothing but happy and supportive of her best friend. but there are definitely times when she finds herself envying her. even just slightly. like how everyone is automatically drawn to her, how she barely speaks loud enough to hear and captures everyone’s attention. how pucca is so powerful and strong and perfect that it only makes ching all the more aware of her own insecurities. she doesn’t want to hold it against pucca. she knows she isn’t perfect and that she has her own traumas to face. also that time pucca accidentally kissed abyo she was momentarily like “girl what are u doing” until pucca threw an acorn at him.

is there a villain she respects or feels pity for?

she has respect and pity for the vagabonds. she respects that they’re willing to do what they need to to stay alive and feed themselves. she pities them that it means a life of crime. she pities all of them to an extent, but it’s more like compassion than pity. except ring ring, she truly pities ring ring. like she’ll momentarily pity any villain that’s in pucca’s way, but it wears off once they’re dealt with. dada isn’t technically a villain but she pities him too. after her incident with doga’s sock she wonders if that’s why doga is actually evil, and not because she wants to be. she really doesn’t like tobe, but literally only because he’s always bugging her friends. if he’d leave them alone she’d probably find a way to get along with him.

#gcldess #🐔ˢᵉⁿᵗ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉˢ/ᴀsᴋs. #🐔ᶠʳᵒᵐ ᵐʸ ʰᵉᵃʳᵗ ᵗᵒ ʸᵒᵘʳˢ/ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴs. #🐔ʰᵒᵘˢᵉ ᵒᶠ ᵐᵒᵘˢᵉ/ᴏᴜᴛ.

[bakukirikami]

I'd like to request all the angsty headcanons please

GOD ok this ask is over a week old but im finally ready 2 deliver

under the cut bc this is literally 2k of bakukirikami angst hc’s

bakugou

not rlly super angsty but he’s rlly touch sensitive

mainly bc of the sludge villain which. makes sense

the first time kiri and kami swings an arm over his shoulder he flinches To The Max and they’re shocked bc angry baku just jumped away from them

though it’s good for the beginning of their relationship bc it helps them realise and understand it

they both ask him first if they can hug him and tbh for the first few seconds baku doesn’t know what to do

eventually he hugs them back and Gosh it’s such a good feeling

he feels a little calmer and he just relaxes and shit he feels gr88

he doesn’t even mind if he tells anyone else abt hugging them bc he’s just so glad that he feels safe being held by someone

tbh it’s not easy to overcome something like that? esp for baku, he’s so used to having control that the sludge villain really hit him hard.

the first time they share a bed together baku’s in the middle although he’s the tallest.

he’s been so long without proper touch and kiri and kami really just wanna make him feel loved

at first it’s Too Much Touch and he feels really trapped but his bf’s really did some research abt touch sensitivity and they figured out how to calm him down

he sleeps really well when he’s in the middle bc he knows that he’s literally surrounded by love

he’s the last of the three to wake up in the morning and when he does he can just hear kiri and kami whispering about how much they love him so he buries his head in his pillow and kicks them both so they don’t see him smiling and blushing

eventually after a REALLY LONG TIME he does end up trusting 1a so he doesn’t really mind if they know about his touch sensitivity

there’s nothing wrong with it ofc he’s not any less of a hero it’s just another part of him

but if anyone from another class/in general mocks him about his flinching he will try to explode him and it takes kiri and kami 43 tries to get him to calm down

he finds it really irritating ofc bc he wasn’t always touch sensitive! fuckin sludge villain

when he goes home to visit his family he brings kiri and kami home to meet them

mitsuki hasn’t seen baku in ages so her first instinct is to hug him which is p normal for a mom imo

he flinches for a second and then he realises this is my mom she literally has baby soft skin she can’t hurt me before he relaxes

she still notices his flinching bc she’s his fuckin mom so she asks kiri about it later bc he seems like a good lad

kami overhears and helps explain

later when they’re trying to go to sleep they tell baku and he just shrugs bc he doesn’t mind. he’s getting used to it now

sidenote bakugou’s family fucking love kiri and kami

when he finds out ragdoll lost her quirk he gets a few nightmares about losing his own quirk

makes sense tbh bc the majority of his confidence and arrogance stemmed from his Super Awesome Quirk

usually ends up with him waking up really sweaty and holes in his blankets from uncontrolled explosions during his sleep

he goes to the bathroom to cool off and he stares at his reflection a lot and constantly reminds himself that he’s not going to lose his quirk he’s not he’s not he’s not

what happened to ragdoll isn’t going to happen to him he’s okay

when/if kiri and kami find out they’re shocked again bc they’re not used to insecure bakugou

however they do reassure him a lot that he’s not going to lose his quirk

they remind him a lot that nightmares don’t make you weak at all

he doesn’t usually say anything but if he does it’s usually just “yeah, yeah, yeah, i know.”

“thanks dumbasses”

his dreams usually rotate between hero dreams and fluffy dreams abt his bf’s so the first time he has a nightmare he’s super pissed off bc! He’s strong he shouldn’t be getting nightmares

kami and kiri are Best Bfs they buy baku all might merch when he’s feeling Bad

kirishima

right so listen up kiri’s rlly insecure about his quirk in general so like after baku got kidnapped he really beat himself up about it like A LOT A LOT

his updated hero costume has sleeves from a few of the scars he gave himself during that time

bc of his quirk he rlly doesn’t need armour or anything so everything when they tell him he can upgrade he goes

“fuck i need to hide these scars”, thus, sleeves

during the hero license exam arc kami’s confused bc why the fuck would kirishima, whos ((pretty much)) made of steel need s l e E V E S

kami doesn’t question it tho bc who the fuck is he to judge. kami’s costume is literally just a cool jacket and pants w/ lightning bolts

baku (and everyone else) doesn’t really notice bc theyre used to kiri’s Extra As Fuck costume

anyway eventually bakugou and kaminari are going to end up seeing his scars, whether on purpose or not

when kiri explains baku’s first reaction is just anger bc not only does he think he’s the reason for all might’s end, but he’s thinks that it’s his fault kiri hurt himself

its no one’s fault of but neither of them know what to say but they just both hold kiri really tightly and at that moment, that’s all he needs

DOESN’T LIKE TALKING ABT HIS FEELINGS BC HE DOESN’T WANT TO BURDEN HIS PALS

sunshine kid needs to stop bottling things up blease kiri

spends half of his time in class overthinking about things

he wants to make everyone happy and please everyone but kiri u can’t do that you gotta make yourself happy first

after he, baku and kami get together he talks a lot abt his insecurities and he feels so liberated honestly its a good feel u go kiri 👏👏

they’ll be in bakugou’s room watching a movie and as soon as the credits start rollin he exhales and sits up straight and just Starts Talking

bakugou and kami don’t interrupt them, they just let him talk and as soon as he’s done kami cuddles him and drowns him in blankets

baku does His Thing but kiri still knows he cares so he smiles really fondly at baku which makes him blush bc kiri has the nicest smile!

eventually kami will make bakugou cuddle w/ them

they all sleep a lot better that night.

(kiri’s in the middle)

used to get a lot of shit @ middle school during The Edgy Phase

filed his teeth in anger

vowed to be the nicest person he could be

he doesn’t like thinking about it a lot but he definitely thinks it made him a stronger and better person

got mocked a lot abt his quirk bc it wasn’t “flashy enough” ://

this is already canon but he cried when meeting tetsu for obvious reasons

STILL CANON but best bros w/ tetsu

he talks to tetsu abt their quirks a lot

tetsu is a Comfort Buddy

initially tetsu doesn’t rlly understand why kiri is upset about the lack of originality of his quirk, but once he does understand he’s very comforting

of the two, people say tetsu’s quirk is more unique because he’s transforming his body from flesh into steel, whereas kiri’s is flesh into harder flesh

(this is p much why tetsu initially has difficulty understanding)

tetsu reassures kiri a lot tho and in the end they always feel a lot better about their quirks

once or twice tetsu mentions it to kami and bakugou

out of the blue they’ll randomly compliment kiri and his quirk and he’s super happy

they never say anything to kiri about tetsu but kami and baku are really grateful that he told them

forever upset that he won’t meet crimson riot

kaminari

mmmMMMKAY maya has some angsty kami hc’s here in case u havent seen them yet but ITS MY TURN NOW

super pissed off bc of how he always gets called stupid and dumb!

yes he doesn’t have the best grades but can you stick a knife in a toaster without dying? no? didn’t think so

whenever anyone is a dick about his intelligence he gets really pissed and starts shooting tiny sparks out of his body

when he came to UA he did that a lot less tho

but he does it most often around jirou

(at UA its usually her being a dick)

once she pushed him a lot and he nearly did fry her

kiri had to calm him down and hold him back

when he was little and figuring out his quirk he accidentally fried his favourite book and he cried for ages

got yelled at by teachers as a kid by teachers for accidentally short circuiting the building

bc of this he doesn’t like loud shouting a lot

he Will Flinch

especially when he goes to UA and when all might teaches

nothing wrong w/ all might ofc but his voice is really loud i’d flinch too

like he knows all might’s not going to hurt him but fuck it sounds like he is

after a while all might is the only loud adult voice he can deal with

he doesn’t really want the teachers to know bc its sorta a sensitive topic

when/if kiri and bakugou find out they won’t force him to tell anyone, they’ll just help him cope with it and comfort him

scars on his limbs from not knowing how to use his quirk as a kiddo

constantly terrified of losing control over his quirk and hurting ppl he cares about

idk i think that’s already canon but it’s important bc !! he actually likes the people at UA and he doesn’t want to hurt him

craves affection and attention all the time

he doesn’t need to be the center of attention at all, he just wants to be noticed and would rather not blend it

it’s not like he would go out of his way to stand out though, he just wants to be liked for who he is

it helps him a lot w/ his self confidence since he’s so used to him and his quirk being shoved aside (a result of the backlash of overusing his quirk) 

will cover up his pain or hurt with a joke because he like other people seeing him helpless

always stressed on how to be a better hero

runs his hands through his hair a lot

on bad days he’ll pull at his hair

bakugou and kirishima can tell whenever he’s feeling more upset because they’ll notice random strands of his hair floating around

a short attention span

it contributes to his “bad grades” and he hates himself for it

literally when he figured out just how short it was he electrocuted a couple trees because he was so pissed off

his parents gave him a really old record player for his dorm at UA but it broke when kiri and bakugou were having an arm wrestle in his room

dunno why they arm wrestling in his room BUT THEY WERE

he’s upset for ages bc that’s what reminded him of home

tries every possible way to fix it

he’s not even upset with kiri or bakugou he’s just. Empty

kiri and even bakugou apologise a lot and they actually feel awful for ages

at some point they buy him another one

ofc they know they can’t replace the other one but what else can you do

can’t go a day without someone insulting his hero costume

cries when he can’t buy a new video game and starts shooting sparks if someone else in 1a has it but he doesn’t

he gets really insecure about his body randomly, especially when he compares himself to bakugou and kirishima

but he wouldn’t mind being a little stronger but boi gets distracted all the time

but its obviously different bc ofc baku and kiri use their whole body to fight, but kami doesn’t need to do that

that being said, he doesn’t really want to be Super Buff either

#katsuki bakugou #kirishima eijirou #kaminari denki #bnha #mha #i listened to my emo romantic playlist on full blast the whole time writing this who the fuck am i #also this is all over the place im sorry !! hope u enjoyed tho #also i think touch sensitive baku is kinda popular but its one of my faves so #self harm mention / #headcanons #bkkb #mod maia #maka lucy #asks #angst #affection #cuddling #fluff #requests

[voidwizerd-archive]

BONDING EXPERIENCES?? ==>

[[ logs with @carnivalsorphans​, our muses keep bonding in very confusing ways, what the fuck are these two ]]

voidwizerd okay first off please dont bring this up w Kankri bc th last thing i can handle rn is anythin resemblin a moral talk im too pissed

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd do you ever like get a super specific urge to just beat a body senseless does this happen to you

carnivalsorphans often enough that the thought some people don't kinda baffles

voidwizerd i cant get at who i wanna get at theyre all universes away n maybe DEAD which sure would be fuckin convenient fr them huh i just

carnivalsorphans hahaha yeah fuckin relatable

voidwizerd wanna find some shitty person n whale on em until theyre only sorta recognizable

carnivalsorphans hmmm

voidwizerd teeth aint that necessary anyhow ugh

carnivalsorphans hahahaha do you actually want me ta find ya someone shitty ta fuck up or we just talkin hypotheticals and feelings?

voidwizerd i honestly dont even know i just wanted to confirm someone else experiences this too

voidwizerd i figured if anyone does itd be you

carnivalsorphans aight, just feelings yeah, you bet sib a lot. and it's hard. just kinda.... keepin that real tight inside it winds ya up a bit warps you and makes ya feel all weird til ya can do somethin ta make it stop i used ta bleed myself and then paint with it, but wicked said that's bad, so i'm tryinna figure somethin else out

carnivalsorphans i felt that way bout anyone i actually give a fuck about, where any time they talk on their old shit it just makes me tense up and start this fuckin rumble

carnivalsorphans usually stop it afore it gets loud though kankri says he don't feel that way at all, but i bet there's somethin that'd wind him up that bad somethin for everyone that just makes em wanna beat someone bloody

voidwizerd yeah it just its like wrappin your insides up tighter n tighter n tighter n it feels like itll rip n spill everythin out

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd so fuck, if its gonna tear eventually why not choose myself how that happens???

carnivalsorphans yeah and i'd think at least no one was gettin hurt but me and i like pain anyhow

carnivalsorphans and it spills out nice and slow and i get somethin pretty at the end of it but ... ya gotta pick ya poison, sometimes

voidwizerd i guess i did that last one kinda fr different reasons n a bit more extreme but ha ha ........i fuckin hate copin

carnivalsorphans yeah, it's hard i got a lot ta cope with

carnivalsorphans used ta think i was better than addiction, but i ... dunno. feel like an addict sometimes. wicked says i might be one, even. instead of the bottom of a bottle, i just got my claws

voidwizerd just bout anythin can be addicted to i used to run until my body gave out only way my mind would go quiet i miss th quiet

carnivalsorphans .... yeah

voidwizerd but Kankri would worry

carnivalsorphans fuck havin connections ta people hahaha

voidwizerd right its terrible but also i wouldnt know what happy is like either

carnivalsorphans .... yeah

voidwizerd th loneliness was killin me ha like literally lmaooooo

carnivalsorphans yeah i can feel that

voidwizerd well no okay technically i was doin that my own damn self

carnivalsorphans you wouldn't think, surrounded by church who loves me

carnivalsorphans but ya know. lonely at the top

voidwizerd fuckin pussy i was broke in less than two sweeps. whoop whoop yeah yeah i bet lonely is terrible, fuck that shit

carnivalsorphans used ta be worse but used ta be, i didn't care .... way way fuckin back when saw people bein all close to eachother and it seemed like a waste a fuckin time and energy and like they was a bit away from stabbin eachother in the back

carnivalsorphans .... fuckin ignorance was bliss

voidwizerd ha wouldnt it be so much easier just to not

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd not need that not fuckin CLING to affection like a goddamn lifeline bc its either that n bein treated like garbage or bein treated like nothin at all

carnivalsorphans yeah, fuck that

voidwizerd hurt or isolation take your pick trick question they both hurt and they both make you feel isolated

carnivalsorphans yeah hahahahaha

carnivalsorphans rather have real hurt though. makes shit hard ta focus on .... sometimes, at least

voidwizerd mmn

carnivalsorphans > Try not to think of Artemi. > Try /really hard/

voidwizerd do i like pain fr kinky reasons or do i like it bc i just want someone to beat me to shit

carnivalsorphans hahahahaha

voidwizerd these are th questions

carnivalsorphans just assume it's a little a both

carnivalsorphans nothin's ever so black and white sometimes a lil more of one, sometimes a lil more of another

voidwizerd fuckin

carnivalsorphans and sometimes it fades away so much ya almost forget it's there

voidwizerd hate that shit

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd wish it could be simple shouldnt knowin yourself be simple but nah

carnivalsorphans hahahahaha

voidwizerd other ppl know me better than me

carnivalsorphans depends on how fuckin much you want to know

voidwizerd aint that just th fuckin way

carnivalsorphans i've tried real hard not ta let anyone know me fuckin hate bein /known/ bein... able ta pin down predict

voidwizerd sure is a thing its scary

voidwizerd scarier than anythin

carnivalsorphans .... yeah and not just cuz i'm scared for my church not just cuz i'm scared a how people will take it just... 's

voidwizerd if i didnt trust Kankri so much id prolly just. go outta my fuckin mind of terror. ha

carnivalsorphans yeah every time me and wicked have a real talk, i get a bit.... tense. all tensed up for him ta fuckin recoil or use shit against me or probably ain't the best way ta feel with ya rail, but

voidwizerd no i i get that fuck dude i literally couldnt tell you how often Jane n Dirk did that to me but my stupid ass kept confidin in em anyway

carnivalsorphans hahaha i never risked it sometimes i'd tell shit to people i was

voidwizerd only reason i didnt confide w Jake at all was cause he never paid attention to anythin that wasnt bout him

carnivalsorphans hurtin. i ain't ever had enough trust in fuckers to do that sorta shit too often

voidwizerd shit dude if ur only confidantes are th ppl ur torturin you just might need to get out more

carnivalsorphans hahahahaha yeah

carnivalsorphans i kinda went a bit nuts after i fell got better though

voidwizerd good on you shoulder pat for success

carnivalsorphans there's a lotta things i miss bout that time. probably more than i should. one more addiction ta add onto the pile

voidwizerd ha careful dude dont wanna be breakin records here

carnivalsorphans hahahaha i've lived a long time, i set all the records

voidwizerd my point is to get better rather than worse knucklehead though ha tbh this is one of those lights i doubt thats really a possible thing

carnivalsorphans hahaha how bout we just try for not gettin worse tolight? wanna come over? for the sake a not bein alone

voidwizerd i .....yeah thanks

carnivalsorphans fuck knows i ain't gonna be good for bein alone tonight neither. .... but i don't really wanna worry wicked over me bein all whatever i am right now

voidwizerd "whatever" is a good word fr feelins tonight "whatever" with a side of "sad n violent"

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd apparently not a regular or good thing to feel .. is it bad fr me to be so relieved you get this way too

carnivalsorphans naw 's normal ta feel relieved that ya ain't alone in ya experiences

carnivalsorphans fuck, that's sorta why i hang around sugary and vel and wicked

voidwizerd oh huh i guess i like. well i didnt even know i was angry until well

carnivalsorphans until you was burnin

voidwizerd yeah

carnivalsorphans i think vel sorta gets like that

voidwizerd i guess i been mad a long time but

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd long as i ignored it things never happened

carnivalsorphans people tend ta forget angry is somethin they is allowed ta be

voidwizerd until that naggin suspicion got confirmed, that i was treated no better than shit on someones heel, n i just welp there goes th neighborhood

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd anger is its big

carnivalsorphans anger is born out of sorrow a lot sorrow at fuckin... lack at bein wronged

voidwizerd .....yeah

carnivalsorphans at missed opportunities and bein taken advantage of

voidwizerd at at knowin i did nothin to get hurt n did *everythin* to win approval thats just

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd seventeen goddamn years of waste right there

carnivalsorphans yeah sweeps of lack of what ya deserved

voidwizerd i didnt deserve that

carnivalsorphans yeah

voidwizerd *they* deserved my goddamn fists i wish id fought back

carnivalsorphans it's aight to be angry bout that shit. people always say it's aight to mourn, but sometimes mournin involves gettin fuckin pissed

voidwizerd i wish id listened to my instincts

carnivalsorphans you did what ya knew ta do and that's... somethin

carnivalsorphans may not always feel good

voidwizerd i loved em too much was th problem id let anythin slide cause they was my whole world

carnivalsorphans ain't nothin wrong with lovin maybe a bit wrong with bein blinded by it, but there ain't nothin to be done about that except learn from it

voidwizerd yeah took

carnivalsorphans and fuckin... bein tempered hurts, but it does make ya stronger

voidwizerd fuckin 21 years but i learned

carnivalsorphans .... cmere?

voidwizerd yeah

voidwizerd yeah ill be there

carnivalsorphans > Probably help to send coords. > And then time to snug a friend

voidwizerd > Friend will cry and rant a lot but appreciate much. > Mostly cry.

carnivalsorphans > Pet the friend. Kiss their head and wipe away tears sometimes and comfort and offer inappropriate jokes when tears seem to be letting up.

voidwizerd > Jokes get a smile and then even more crying because what the fuck is an appropriate response to people caring about them.

carnivalsorphans > More kisses because how do you deal with people crying Normally anyway?

voidwizerd > Kisses back a little because that seems to help and not kissing back was starting to feel Weird.

carnivalsorphans > Prr? Wipe away tears, focus more on wiz than your own shit.

voidwizerd > Pr... Still feeling terrible, and thinking about bad gunk, but at least not alone. And good to be with someone who kinda gets it. "We're sorta fucked up huh."

carnivalsorphans "Yeah. But we make it work."

voidwizerd "Fuck dude we sure do. By the skin of our fuckin teeth but we're doin it."

carnivalsorphans "I think we're doin better than some people."

voidwizerd "That's optimistic." > Weak laugh.

carnivalsorphans "Naw, we ain't still stuck in our old shit. I think that's better off. Some people never get that far."

voidwizerd "...That's true." > Snuggle up more after decaptchaing more blankets. Feeling more vulnerable to Ringleader's chilliness.

carnivalsorphans > Oh, good. A layer between you and the warmth. ... Give the bundled wiz a squish. "There's somethin to be said for bein proud of how far we've come, at least. Even if we ain't where we wanna be yet." > .... Where does he want to be though?

voidwizerd "Where we even tryin to get to, though?" > Squish is good. Quiet purr.

carnivalsorphans > A snort. "Ya know, I was thinkin the exact same thing." > Loud purring.

voidwizerd "Don't that just figure. Tolight we're real fulla questions that don't got proper answers, huh."

carnivalsorphans "I dunno that we gotta know where we're goin ta be glad we're not where we were."

voidwizerd > Now you snort. "That's some deep shit."

carnivalsorphans "That's me. Deep as fuck. ya know my real secret now.

voidwizerd "I'm honored!" > Quiet laugh. Moody staring at nothing for a while. "Think I'm done cryin now. Got that hollow sense settlin in nice an blegh.”

carnivalsorphans “Yeah, fuck that. I only appreciate that shit when i’m needin to think after bein pissed. And even then, it ain’t the same as true calm.”

voidwizerd "Mmh. Better than feelin I'm about to like... break into a million billion pieces. Like takin a sledgehammer to a window. Ha." > Blink slow. Slower. You're not moving so much.

carnivalsorphans > Squish. You ain't their rail, it's not your responsibility to make sure they're all... In tact. .... But still, you're a bit concerned. A tiny bit. "Anythin I can be doin ta help?"

voidwizerd "'unno. Feelin's gone for now." > Whoops, that there is a yawn. You rub your face, trying to stay awake. "What about you?"

carnivalsorphans "Feel.... Warm." Soft purring. "Probably about time ta pass out."

voidwizerd "Mmh." Sprawl out a bit. "Thanks for bein my comrade in shittiness."

carnivalsorphans "Misery demands company and all that. Plus i like hangin around you."

voidwizerd "Gay."

carnivalsorphans "Yeah." Forehead kiss.

voidwizerd > Mumble a barely comprehensible "suuuuper gay" before nodding off. > RL's a good friend.

carnivalsorphans > Pet Wiz a little longer before going to sleep yourself.

#logs #carnivalsorphans #[[ okay they talk about a lotta junk so here goes ]] #violence // #addiction // #alcoholism // #alcohol // #self harm // #abuse // #torture // #ask to tag //

[frcstwclf-moved]

by popular demand (aka @warricrbcrn suggested it and i told her to) i’m going to answer all of these questions. answers under the cut.

abalone: what kind of situations compromise my muse emotionally answered

aegerine: my muse's opinion of the supernatural he has respect for the spirits of his ancestors, obviously, but that’s really it

agate: how my muse calms down answered

blue lace agate: my muse's favorite form of communication (verbal, letters, texting, etc.) verbal communication is really the only way he communicates (he rarely writes letters and doesn’t have much experience with sign or anything else) so i guess that.

fire agate: if my muse is brave or cowardly he’s a big brave boi. he’s not stupidly brave, but still incredibly so. he isn’t fearless either, but he’ll jump into a fight no problem if need be.

moss agate: if my muse has a high or low opinion of themself answered

amazonite: what kind of situations call for my muse to be dishonest answered

amethyst: what my muse would most like to be able to shape-shift into ... a wolf.

ammolite: how lucky or unlucky my use is considering all of the events in his life, unlucky. not that he believes in luck, but anyway.

angel aura quartz: my muse's opinion of LGBT+ issues not really something he has experience with. i don’t know that LGBT+ issues were really a thing for orcs of his time; they existed, i’m sure, but considering the way that a lot of orc culture works and how intolerable a lot of it is in general, gay, trans, and other orcs of similar identities and sexualities were probably closeted and thus Durotan probably has no idea about any of it. that’s not to say he wouldn’t support them; he feels everyone has the right to a happy life. everyone. (willing to make a longer post on this later)

apache tears: a sadness headcanon he just vanishes and stops talking when he’s sad. he’ll just sit there. you have to make sure he even survives to the point where he’ll break into emotion again, be it negative or positive, because he’ll just sit in the same spot and stare at the ground for fucking hours.

apatite: a headcanon about my muse's intuition it’s saved his life so many times, its ridiculous. his gut-feeling is his best friend, but it seems to clash a lot with his reasoning, especially around Gul’dan’s time of power.

apophyllite: my muse's religious/spiritual beliefs what religion would you call the orcs? they worship their ancestors, it’s not like there’s any god at play there.

aquamarine: where my muse feels most calm/relaxed his home. sitting around their big communal fireplace in the center of their village with his family.

biotite: the biggest problems my muse is currently dealing with being dead. lol

bloodstone: how my muse sees themself as part of the world at large Durotan just feels like he’s another orc chieftain doing his job. he doesn’t understand why so many people think he’s so special, outside of standing up to Gul’dan.

calcite: my muse's social tendencies (introverted vs extroverted, parties vs one-on-one conversations, etc.) he likes people, but anymore than the orcs in his clan and he feels a little overwhelmed. he really only had one good friend that he talks to consistently, and that’s Orgrim, but as far as chieftain-y things his social skills are decent. he’ll tread water until he physically can’t handle it anymore, which is incredibly rare.

carnelian: an art-related headcanon Durotan actually has some artistic talent. he can kinda sketch landscapes and people, if he tries.

celestite: how my muse deals with anxiety not healthily, lmao. he bottles it up until it explodes into one giant mass of anxiety, which means he’ll go sulk for a few hours if possible. if it isn’t, he gets REALLY irritable REALLY quickly.

chalcedony: the saddest my muse has ever been the morning he discovered Ga’nar’s body, the morning after Garad had died and Durotan had been named chieftain. the grief, the anxiety, and the overall reality of it overwhelmed him until he was physically trembling. he spent that night weeping in his mother’s arms.

chalcopyrite: how my muse deals with ending relationships it’s hard for him to do, but if there comes a point where he has to cut ties with someone, he’ll drop’em like they aint shit. no questions asked.

charoite: who my muse looks up to answered

chrysocolla: a money-making headcanon he doesn’t have any, lol.

copper: how I think my muse will end up when they're older he’d be an awesome, wise old chieftain tbh. he’d know alllllll the Frostwolf secrets to teach the kiddos. he’d be heavily grieved by the clan, had he died of old age.

coral: how my muse views the natural world it’s incredibly precious to him. watching Draenor die was one of the hardest things he’s ever done.

diamond: a sex headcanon [ SWEATS ]

dolomite: a sleep headcanon Durotan is a light sleeper, and he either lays on his side or his back. he is often kept up at night by bouts of night terrors and general insomnia, so he’ll stare at the ceiling of the tent until it’s early enough for him to leave and roam around camp without being questioned

emerald: how my muse tells someone they love them without words touches and gestures. arm around your shoulders, a hug, a pat on the arm, that thing people do where they rest their hand on your lower back, hand on your shoulder... the works.

fluorite: what my muse's room looks like it’s relatively neat, i imagine Draka kicks any mess in their tent back into shape. having two sloppy older brothers kinda made him wanna be organized considering there was a time where all five of them lived in a tent together and, from personal experience, sharing sleeping spaces with your siblings fucking sucks

fossil: what my muse's dream job is he really doesn’t have any quarrel with being chieftain. he doesnt know what else he’d do, honestly.

galena: what it's like to be in a relationship with my muse lots of playful bickering and play fighting, but he also will show regularly how sincerely and how much he cares, whether in words or gestures is up to him.

garnet: what my muse's perfect partner would be DRAKA.

gold: my muse's financial situation i don’t know how financially dependent Frostwolves are. pretty sure they just hunt, make, or gather everything they need. he’s doing fine.

hematite: how squeamish my muse is he’s witnessed graphic cannibalism, stabbed a numerous amount of people and gutted and/or beheaded just as many, and has literally bathed his entire face in blood. he doesn’t care. the only thing that’s ever succeeded in making him puke that wasn’t caused by sickness was the combined stench of several hundred decaying bodies, sweaty gross B.O. bodies, and piss and fecal matter when he already felt incredibly put off by his situation. and he puked ONCE.

hiddenite: how much of an "inner child" my muse has jesus, he’s such a man-child. he’d be wrestling in the mud with Orgrim well into his 40′s, knowing him.

iolite: my muse's drinking habits Durotan doesnt drink often but when he does he gets fucked UP. waiting for the day he wakes up in bed next to Blackhand or something tbh.

jade: if my muse would ever cheat on a partner NEVER. hes loyal as fuck. plus Draka would flog him

jasper: what my muse would be like as a parent the dad who tries to be cool and hip and relatable w his kid bc he loves him but just embarrasses Go’el

kyanite: an anger headcanon he screams into Stormfang’s pelt, sometimes. as if killing the poor fucking thing wasn’t enough.

lapis lazuli: where 'home' is to my muse anywhere that his family is. they are his home as much as Frostfire is.

lodestone: what kind of people gravitate towards my muse all kinds of people, honestly. he’s a charismatic and fair leader that’s well-loved by his clan, people like that.

malachite: what my muse as a child thought they would be when they grew up he thought that he and Orgrim would be the clan’s mightiest hunters. he hadn’t a care in the world about being chieftain.

mica: what my muse views as their worst personality trait he thinks he doesn’t have a good enough hold on his temper. he’s constantly afraid of snapping and killing someone without meaning to.

moonstone: my muse's opinions on outer space he thinks the idea of it is cool as shit, even if all he’s ever seen are the moon and stars from the ground. he thinks it’s beautiful.

mother of pearl: if my muse tends to lift people up or bring them down he’s always tried to bring them up, and he usually succeeds. Durotan has never been a pessimist, and he’s always been able to inspire and invigorate the Frostwolves at their lowest points.

nebula stone: how good my muse's memory is very sharp and keen. he can remember things that were said or happened years ago like it was yesterday.

obsidian: which of the seven deadly sins my muse would be probably wrath or pride. Durotan’s temper and lack of self control when upset has always been one of his greatest downfalls, and the Frostwolves are kinda known for being incredibly proud of their heritage and who they are. i feel like he’s a closer match to wrath, just because he’s a bit more humble than, say, Garad.

opal: how creative my muse is he’s moderately creative. he’s not really an artist or a creator, but he enjoys and appreciates creativity and the arts and would rather delight in others’ ideas instead of wrack his brain for his own.

pearl: a mental health headcanon anxiety and stress are eating away at his psyche 3/4 of the time, but he’ll be damned before he admits that to anyone. his PTSD gives him a lot of hell, too. he’ll wake up in a cold sweat right out of a nightmare about his father or one of his brothers or Stormfang, and he’s even had ones concerning that whole cannibalism Nokrar situatuon, but instead it’s the whole clan lying there gutted and eaten, wolves and all. he doesn’t really have flashbacks, unless something REALLY fucked up is going on and it somehow pertains to one of those things. he feels neverending guilt about his entire life in general and not having been able to do more for the people he’s lost. it’s not healthy, at all, and occasionally he’ll open up about it to someone he trusts. usually doesn’t happen all that often, though.

petalite: what my muse would do if they found a wallet on the street ”WHO’S WALLET IS THIS”

pyrite: a physical health headcanon i don’t think that he’s as ripped as everyone seems to think he is? I mean yea he’s buff and strong and huge but i don’t think he’s got a perfect six-pack or anything. a very toned dad bod, if you will

quartz: how my muse thinks other people see them as an authority figure, or a friend. or an enemy. depends on who ‘people’ is.

rhodonite: if my muse prefers elegance or convenience CONVENIENCE.

rubellite: if my muse has any 'triggers' that inspire painful memories Ga’nar and Fenris, honestly. he avoids mentioning them in conversation like the plague. the names themselves ARE painful memories.

ruby: a happiness headcanon if he’s smiling with all of his teeth showing, it means he’s fucking ECSTATIC.

sapphire: if everyone my muse knew was hanging off a cliff and they could only choose three to save, the rest certainly dying, who they would choose JESUS CHRIST I HATE THESE. he’d take Go’el, Draka, and Orgrim, probably. watching the rest of the clan plummet off a cliff (HIS FUCKING MOTHER BEING A PART OF THEM), he’d NEVER forgive himself.

serpentine: how my muse would seduce another [alt: how my muse makes their money] DUROTAN? SEDUCE SOMEONE??? H A

silver: if my muse prefers masculinity or femininity he really doesn’t give a damn. what’s even the difference, in orc culture? everyone’s got long hair, everyone’s wearing skirts, everyone’s kicking ass and taking names... how does it work

tsavorite: if my muse believes in destiny or fate answered

ulexite: how empathetic/sympathetic/compassionate my muse is extremely. he cares about everyone and everything, and doesn’t want to hurt people if he doesn’t have to. unakite: what my muse's ideal pet would be his wolfie, Nightstalker. loves him to bits

verdite: my muse's ethnicity/family history an unbroken line of Frostwolf chieftains, apparently, and he descended from the nomadic Frostwolf Clan

zebra stone: what gets my muse excited wolf pups. hunting. Draka. Orgrim. Go’el. Geyah. weaving. horse-play. his clan mates. THERES A LOT.

zoisite: does my muse believe everything's going to work out for them in the end or not? ... yes. he really, truly believes that everything will be okay.

#jesus this took forever #⚔️ { 𝖗𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖜𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖞 𝖇𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖘 𝖇𝖊𝖘𝖎𝖉𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖊 ⁽ᵒᵒᶜ⁾ } ⚔️ #⚔️ { 𝖑𝖔𝖋𝖙𝖞 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙𝖘 𝖔𝖋 𝖆 𝖑𝖔𝖋𝖙𝖞 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉 ⁽ᵐᵘˢᶦⁿᵍ⁾ } ⚔️ #⚔️ { 𝖆 𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖊 𝖈𝖍𝖎𝖊𝖋𝖙𝖆𝖎𝖓 ⁽ᵈᵘʳᵒᵗᵃⁿ⁾ } ⚔️

[voidcat]

some of u on here rlly just open your mouths and for what...

like,,, i ma one who talks w/o thinking but god some of the things ive seen hiding behind that anon click........ please grow up or try to use that logic u can obtain v easily. the human race didnt evolve for ages for you to simply Not use your brain after all....

it literally costs NOTHING to not go out of ur way to tell people rude things and make assumptions about them...

#this is lowkey abt that anon on nics blog #but also idk even tho i avoid dramas n all ive seen a lot of uncalled anon hate or just hate going back n forth n just... why #like PLZ yes u dont have to like certain things but insulting ppl over a difference in opinions is just... not it #and fr fr u dont have to have experienced a similar situation to EMPATHY or put yourself in someones shoes #bc GUESS WHAT i suck at social clues i suck at picking up things and i laugh at the most uncalled moments like ITS UNREAL u'd not believe #but i try to go n ask myself often 'how would a normal/typical person feel abt this or at this' i suck at empathy so i try to make - #conclusions with LOGIC!!! its so simple and free!!!! #everyone has their own way of dealing w things. and just bc one usually bottles everything doesnt mean they may never talk abt certain stuf #bc ye ill keep my mouth shut for the most part but w a specific event i may bring it up or talk abt it often. a certain norm never applies #ALL THE TIME #and this is normal!!! #and anon should look up what 'milking X thing' means bc nicole isnt using her mothers death as a way of ad/promoting herself #shes not like going around and throwing a pity party about it n pulling a 'i went thru X at a young age so u should give me Y' #and i rmr how she didnt even say it on her blog for a long while that most symbolism in her fics are about her mother and their shared - #memories #so no there is no 'milking the situation' here. go learn what words mean before you say things perhaps <3

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

QW - last february,i had a big argument with 2 of my school friends. friends, i guess, for 2 years i was with them most of the time. i share some stories/my life as much as i do or more, to other people in my class. i mostly had a fight with Z because, Z is just so controlling. Y and X are my groupmates in our thesis. yeah, the common, as they say, fights bc of that. im being so petty right now. but i cant bring to myself to let this slide bc for me, i cant, and i wasnt okay with what happened. i cant bring myself to fully go back to what it was before. this is not just because of this, but i have some other issues with them. that i tell myself repeatedly not to voice out because its just not good. Z ‘talked’ to X and i about Y. and she had some personal problems. which at first, i felt sad and a bit conflicted because Y couldnt share it with us as groupmates and close friends, which Z explained Y. One thing that Z said that pissed me off the most is that we 3 - X, Y and i dont have to tell each other everything, i personally do that, as Y and i have worked before, and idk if she knows that, Y turns to Z first about our project (Z is already done w. this so i understand), but maybe i just think that in some decisions Y should at least inform us, what happends is that when a decision is made, its just laid there, were not even informed about it, just through some updates is maybe better for the group. and Z isnt even included. and then Z proceeds to tell us what to do, and i know i dont have to do everything Z says and i let Z know. and it just ended badly, but things were opened up, maybe or maybe not unecessary. but it has to be set aside. and obviously, now i am not fully okay with that yet. and i admit that i let my personal issues ruin this. i am quite okay with Y now. but just not with Z. I cant do it. It hurt me badly. And this is all new to me, having a confrontation, the better way. but it isnt an excuse either. i just usually bottle it up or share my feelings to some other close friends, which is so wrong. and now they are asking for some favor, i mean i will do it. but if it was other people, i would do it without much deliberation or bad thoughts whatsoever. just something i pulled from show i watched, “if she/he isnt in the equation, would you still do it?”

also…. just all my personal issues are being tangled. and im just a terrible person. i havent talked to my brother in nearing 2 years, and we all live together. for the first part, my anger, then revisiting anger for acceptance, forgiveness in my mind, understanding, anger, not feeling anything, forgiveness. now i dont talk to him because if i open my mouth, some bad stuff would just come out

hey there. so when it comes to group projects? everyone should communicate with each other, definitely! when it comes to making decisions that are going to impact other people? yes, you really should be talking to those people having a conversation about things, or at the very least informing them about decisions made. 

however...when it comes to personal issues, and making decisions that only impact you and not others? then you definitely don’t have to tell everyone. it’s good that you personally feel like you can tell your friends everything! but Y doesn’t have to tell friends or groupmates about personal problems, and if she makes a decision that really is only going to affect her? then she doesn’t have to tell others, her privacy is important, she has the right to choose what she shares. it can be frustrating when friends don’t share things like this, and it might feel like they don’t trust you? but it’s something you just cannot take personally, it’s about them and not you, and it’s about their struggle not a lack of trust in a friendship. it sounds like Z was only trying to look out for Y in her own way and make Y feel less pressure, try not to be too upset with her. 

about your brother, there’s a few things you can do. you say that if you talked to him then bad words would come out? but thefy don’t have to, you can take some control over yourself and your impulses. maybe try writing down what you want to say before talking to him? that gives you a chance to prepare yourself, it also can give you hints if you forget or get flustered while talking to him. if an actual verbal conversation is just not possible right now? then that’s ok too, but you can still talk to him. make use of letters, emails, the written word! writing everything down is a good loop-hole for when you find that you can’t talk about things verbally, it gives you a chance to process your thoughts and to take your time, there’s less pressure compared to a face-to-face conversation. so use pen and paper (or a keyboard and type it instead haha), start communicating with your brother that way and see how things go. start to learn how to manage your anger, if you need an apology from him to be able to move on then say that, talk about that. you’re not a terrible person at all, you just need to start learning how to deal with anger and disappointment. take care xxx

- tash

#advice #submission #qw #anger #resentment #disappointment #friends #conflict #argument #brother