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#every time i find something im afraid of i add it to the list
corporatefrog · 11 months
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꒦‧₊ ꒷ headcannons: team stan with a careless friend✧.*
✧.* tags: college au
✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, eric cartman, butters stotch
a/n: I usually don't add cartman to these things bc he stinks+loser+annoying+suckmydick but I know he'd take advantage of someone who hod so sense of mortality so he gets a pass this time ig.
masterlist
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Kenny
He mistakes the carelessness for spontaneity and immediately assigns you as his go to “lets do something stupid I just thought of” partner
He’s a “try everything once” kind of guy so it’s perfect that you have no sense of self preservation
“Kenny stand on the other side of the field, I wanna see how far I can throw my phone.”
“Okay.”
You both infuriate stan to no end
#annoyingduo in the best way possible 
Do NOT put the two of you in the same room at a party
All of a sudden there’s a 15 person game of just dance happening but there’s no screen?? You’re all just doing moves you saw on just dance
Everyday is a new adventure
Kenny probably has an eye out for you though
He can die doing something stupid and be back the next day but you on the other hand are not 
Gotta keep his partner in crime alive! There’s a bunch of other things on his “before I die (for real)” bucket list that you still need to mark off
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Kyle
You just get caught up in the moment! You have such a wonder for life!
Kyle doesn’t get it sometimes seeing as he tries to view everything logically. 
He’s more like a babysitter when you both go somewhere
“You did not just spend $300 on knock off jordans from a random man on the street corner.”
“I did and they’re the comfiest shoes I’ve ever worn. He told me they’ll cure my posture problems.”
“Do you just believe anything someone tells you?”
“Coming from someone who almost cried when I didn’t use his Candy Crush referral code so he could get more lives, that’s really rich.”
Okay so he gets swept up in trends sometimes. At least he understands his own mortality!
After the third time you try to learn how to do a backflip and fail miserably, he has to leave the room to keep from screaming 
keeps a mental count of the things you do every day that should kill you
the current record is 14
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Stan
He doesn’t understand how you can just go through your day without a care
Are you not afraid of dying? That’s like 32% of his thoughts during the day
“Fuck I dropped my credit card down the drain. Stan, hold my ankles while I reach down to grab it.”
“I can literally see the used heroin needles down there.”
“Okay and??? Not my fault the city doesn’t have a safe use zone, I need that card!” 
One time you guys were leaving a store and the alarm went off 
Stan turned to ask you if you got the security tags removed but you we’re already sprinting halfway across the mall
Not because you stole anything, but because you saw jimmy, clyde, and tolkien walking out of a store and wanted to say hi
And then you spent the rest of the day being lectured by an underpaid paul blart wannabe
Stan was freaking out because he thought you would get arrested for causing a scene or something (they find any reason to arrest someone in south park) 
But all you did was laugh in that light hearted, careless way you always do
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Cartman
Bro will manipulate your carelessness for all its worth
You are now the second person he calls when he has some stupid plot that needs someone who doesn’t understand the concept of death
If kenny’s busy, you’re on speed dial
Honestly, you’re probably the first call because you’ll do something stupid without needing to be paid! 
Free labor!
Wanna work at dicknbaus hot dogs for 14 hours with no pay? It’s free hotdogs! You’re in! 
Hes an exploitative motherfucker 
Thats all im here to say about it
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butters 
You’re going to give him a heart attack
One time you purposely kicked a medicine ball to see how far it would go and broke your foot
And he was more worried about your foot than you were!
“Oh jesus, can you move it?”
“Um… no I don’t think so. Lemme take off my sock”
“AH ITS PURPLE!”
“Oh damn, you’re right. That’s a nice shade though, I was thinking of painting my room that color!”
“NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS”
Unlike kyle, he can’t force himself to ignore your careless nature
He’s always worrying about you 
He’ll suggest you both go to first aid classes or cpr training whenever you hang out “just for fun!”
but really he needs to know that you at least have some first aid knowledge if you're going to keep running around like death is a social construct
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so this may just be a 'me' thing, but do you have any plans in the future (after you upload + post all the refs you have of course) to redo/re-sort the costume refs lists? i know you have a few posts listing what costumes you have for everyone, but it's hard to find specific costumes w/o having to go through every single post. like if im looking for a specific ruby costume i might have to go through all of your lists just to find it. maybe if you're up for it/have the time/want to (which is most important) maybe you can have a master post of each group/sub unit/girl? (idk how long the limit is on posts and it is entirely up to you) again, i do recognize this is 100% a nitpicky thing to ask for and youre under no obligation to do it, i'm just curious if you have any plans to reorganize your costume masterposts!! above all tho is that youre enjoying what youre doing with this blog (which i and many others super appreciate!), so if you dont feel up to changing anything nobody can blame you. (also sorry for how long this is, i just dont want you to feel like you have to do something just bcs somebody asks for it. what youre doing is amazing to keep archives of some aspect of sifas even after it's gone!!)
Hi! Thanks for your kind words 😊 I'll try to go over a few thing but please note that English is not my first language so maybe I'll make some wording mistakes.
First, I like your idea! It works more like a website and it should be easier to navigate but I think it could be simpler if I make a list of outfits for each girl.
The masterlist was supposed to get completed little by little when the cards where coming out but ever since I started this blog I finished my studies and got a full time job so my free time was harder to manage and I'm afraid I ended up neglecting the masterlist. I tried to add everything I could but it gets to a point where they aren't in chronological order anymore so it makes sense that it's tedious to navigate through.
Another problem that I find with lists is that I use links to link each post of every outfit and there's a limit of 100 so I was forced to keep creating parts of the masterlist, that's why I think that a better option would be making a list for each girl, if we put them together by sub units,for example, they may add more than a hundred and it's again the same problem.
Considering all of this it could be wiser to post everything first with the format available a then create a sub menu to put on the pinned section.
And lastly I want to point out that if you know the name of the outfit you can search for it inside this blog. If it's posted it should have a # with the name. Another thing that I do is that I try to tag my posts with all the combinations of the girl's name like #honoka kousaka #kousaka honoka
And when I'm rebloging I try to only tag with #love live honoka. Hope it helps a little with the searching. If you have any problem feel free to ask anytime!
Thanks again for your idea! 😊
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mudwingprince · 3 years
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oh yeah, im pretty sure i found out im afraid of windows :)
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notnctu · 3 years
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backseat chronicles - n.jm | ridin’ club
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━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series
genre ➠ slow burn, smut, fluff, lil angst  wordcount ➠ 8.5k details ➠ fem!reader, streetracer!jaemin, badboy!jaemin, college!au ━ where Jaemin brings you to his club races as his arm candy. warnings ➠ explicit language, overstimulation, flirty banter, pet names, softdom!jaemin, car sex, praise kink, hittin it raw (y/n on the pill), oral, daddy kink, slight corruption kink, fingering synopsis ➠ There is no reasonable explanation as to why or how you always end up in the backseat of Na Jaemin’s beloved car. Almost routinely, he picks you up around ten in the evening with the stereo blasting the raunchiest lyrics for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. The entire night remains purely friendly, a dabble of flirtatious comments because well, it’s Jaemin for fuck sakes. But all it takes is one suggestive gaze from his dark, lustful eyes and a drop in his voice that rumbles your core to have you climbing over the seats to get to the back. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi​​​ ; @darkneogotmyback​​​ ; @im-lame-irl​​​ ; @p-mini​​​ ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck​​​ ; @saniahmichael​​ ; @jaehy9ngs​​​ ; @danyxthirstae01​​​ ; @jaehyunoos​​​ ; @pikijaemin​​​ ; @suhweo​​​ ; @yunoyeol​​​ ; @lanadreamie​​​ ; @ta3ilmoon​​​ ; 
a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! thank you for over 1k notes on this series, im beyond impressed by the amount of attention this got! it really blew up and its so crazy!! i wrote this one with more of a romantic plotline i realized its too hard to keep it pwp with all the story building and characterization i have :)) it’s almost over yall! pls pls leave me feedback im sorry it took so long to write ):
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While college lecture rooms are too big to interact with other students, discussion classes are there to ease the difficulty. A classroom for about twenty students from a three hundred person lecture. It’s administered by a clueless TA, who barely began his second term in graduate school.
Unlike lecture, attendance is mandatory for participation points. You show up every time without a fail, so it came as a shock to you when a certain blue haired student finally appeared from the list of absent students.
Na Jaemin. The notorious playboy with looks that kill and partakes in some illegal racing club. It’s as if every person in the room fawns over his aura, Jaemin drips with an inexplicable alluring confidence. You didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he never shows up for class and rumors about how he’s slept with the entire cheer squad.
But he’s drawn to you like a magnet: always sitting in the available spot next to you, asking about your day before the TA arrives, developing an odd staring problem. You don’t feed much into his attention, minding your own business when he starts with his notably flirtatious greeting.
“You just take my breath away, (Y/N).” Jaemin cocks back in his seat with legs stretched wide in an overly comfortable manner. The smug smirk on his face cannot be ignored, he’s doing the absolute most to get you to pay the smallest attention to him.
“I didn’t do anything in particular to do that, Jaemin.” You respond bitterly, pulling out your notes for today’s discussion class. The TA enjoys wasting the first twenty minutes going over the past lecture slides and running through the most obvious topics.
You pay no mind to Jaemin peering over at you with the single handedly most dreamy eyes and smile --- stars shining in his dark orbs and a dazzling twinkle in his wide toothy grin.
“That’s why you’re so amazing. You do nothing and it still leaves me breathless.” His sneaky eyes examine your clothing choice for the long day. On this warm afternoon, the short tank top does nothing to hide much of your skin and the denim shorts that ride up a little too well drive Jaemin insane. And when you cross your legs together, he swallows the spit that pools in the back of his throat.
Your ears catch onto the murmurs of the rest of the class, the midterm is next week. The wretched midterm that is half of your grade dooms you, it is going to take an endless amount of completely undistracted dedicated hours of study--- “On a more serious note, can you help me with this class?”
His voice shatters your inner panic, if anything, adds to the stress that already beats down on your shoulders. You look up to glare at him, but you’re entirely taken aback by the new styling of his hair and the exposure of his tattoos.
The sweet blue cotton candied strands are ruffled lazily above his brows, messy from him constantly running his hand through them. Jaemin sits relaxed in gray sweatpants that are extremely baggy on his slender figure, hands are shoved casually into the pockets.
But what has you staring for longer is the long sleeve of tattoos that wrap around his left arm. Not that you’re surprised that Jaemin has tattoos, let alone a whole sleeve, but this is your first time seeing it as this is the first time he’s come to class without his leather jacket on. Something about the intricate lines and shadowing make Jaemin seem much cooler, almost more attractive.
When you meet his eyes, his lips curl slowly into a sly side smile and he’s practically eating you up under his gaze. He definitely knew that you were staring and what comes next out of his mouth will haunt you for it. “Like what you see, beautiful?”
“I don’t have the time to help you.” The best way out of this situation is to simply ignore it. Jaemin is overly adored and admired by many, he’ll find someone else to help him.
“Jaemin, do you want to study together?” There you go, folks. The random girl snickers with her small huddle of friends in the upper corner of the room, like a crowd of crows, they’re all waiting around for Jaemin to accept her offer so he can be easily integrated into their little group.
However, you watch how his glances bounce between you and her. The most sickly sweet, kind smile is almost too fake to consider it to be genuine. His final choice surprises you, “thank you for offering, but I only want (Y/N)...”
Your breath hitches and gets caught in your throat as you hope for him to finish his sentence, the drumming of your heart distracting you even more. Jaemin wants you? While the thought is flattering, it puzzles you greatly.
“... to help me with my studies.” Jaemin finishes his sentence after a rather long pause, his eyes finally resting upon your figure shying away and finding any way to seem uninterested in the conversation. “Is that going to be okay, (Y/N)?”
“What do I get out of it?” You can’t believe that you are actually considering it. But this is a man that only wants you to help him. Jaemin is an impossible, yet charming man and whatever comfortable attire he is wearing today is really aiding in his request.
He lights up, ears perked up and eyes attentive. His hands fold together on the empty desk, leaning forward towards you. “Dates with me.”
Rolling your eyes, you groan slightly at the arrogant answer. “I don’t care about that. I want something that benefits me.”
“I’ll make sure you’re well fed.” There is a tiny plea in his tone, a remarkable shift from his cool aura. “What do you want? I’ll give it to you.”
“I guess I can’t turn down free food…” there is a hang in your sentence as you contemplate what chaos you’re about to dive into and what life changes are about to be explored with Jaemin.
“Before you agree,” Jaemin chuckles, “there’s one more thing I’d like you to do for me.”
You’re quick to shoot a daggering glare at the overly enthusiastic boy, “why do I suddenly owe you favors?”
“Because I say so.” He deadpans, a chill running down your spine at the deep dip in his octave. The playfulness that was present all this time suddenly vanished, a serious look that intimidates you, but sexy enough to where it erupts something in your core. He blinks at you with dark clouded eyes and you nervously anticipate what he is going to ask next of you.
“Accompany me to my races.” He speaks lowly as if he’s afraid of someone else eavesdropping in the conversation.
Here’s your issue with that request: you’ve never really been part of that scene. You’ve lived pretty mundanely, even in college. It’s simple, you like to stay within the boundaries of what you enjoy to do and what you have to do. But you’re always open minded and willing to try something to determine whether or not you’re fond of it.
Partying and drinking copious amounts of alcohol weren’t your favorite things to do, especially to the point of forgetting your nights. You wanted to remember your nights as much as you do your days. The youth isn’t here for long, why waste them by blacking out in the middle of a large party? Also, whoever said that alcohol goes down smooth is a blatant liar.
Illegal racing could possibly be an extension of people who participate in those things, which is fine, but does place a crippling fear of coming off too boring or unrelatable inside your nervous system. But just because you don’t do those things doesn’t mean that you’re not as cool, right?
Since when was your status based nonsensically on how often you spend your nights in socializing crowds full of sweaty bodies and how much cheap booze you can drink? It had to be all in your head --- you’re just dreading any awkward socializing with people who race cars when it’s absolutely illegal.
“Why me?” It’s a genuine answer, possibly stemming from your insecurities of not being on the same level of charm as Jaemin exudes. You’re not a fool, you’re well aware of the many different people he comes across on campus so, why you?
Jaemin doesn’t hesitate to answer, “why not you? You’re just my type. Hot and smart. Cute and a little shy. The greatest duality, if you ask me.” His words seem so genuine that it has you believing these things about yourself as well.
Nonetheless, you’re taken aback by his observations and his choice of descriptions. “We’ve barely ever talked. How can you say these things so confidently about me?”
Jaemin slightly pulls your chair closer to his own and you yelp in response to the sudden movement and lack of space that separates the two of you. He leans into you, breath hot on your skin and obvious eyes darting between your shocked ones and pretty lips.
“So let’s get to know each other. I can already tell that it’ll just make me fall for you even more.” His finger lightly traces your jaw, stopping at your chin to give it a small lift to meet his focus. Jaemin loves how you squirm underneath his intensity, you’re too cute to let go. “Plus, my boys will love you. I’m sure of it.”
The TA rushes in quickly and is utterly distressed from the traffic that had pushed back his schedule. “Sorry, I’m late everyone.” He rummages through his things to find his notes, but groans to see that the monitor of the computer is off. It’s going to take him another ten minutes to input all his credentials.
But your attention doesn’t stray from Jaemin, especially with his delicate touch at the bottom of your chin. His gentle smile enacts nothing but a soft love, and a peak of interest. Na Jaemin, the one and only. He’s like an adventure waiting to be explored, an open bottle of fun for you to take a sip.
“What would I have to do?” Your voice comes out shaky.
“Just be there as your pretty self.” Jaemin comes off as the type to always have women around him, “you’ll be my lucky charm. For some reason, I always feel better around you.”
The escalation of this conversation is possibly more action you’ve had to handle in the last two years. Jaemin drops your chin and falls back into his own seat with his arms crossed. He is about to turn your life upside down and whether that be a good or bad thing, you don’t mind. You’re excited for the new thrills that come with being by Na Jaemin’s side.
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Jaemin’s hot hands lift your shirt quickly, throwing it towards the front seat of his car. His lips return to your soft neck, nibbling at your skin tenderly and with love bites that will remind you of his gentle touches. The streetlamps outside flicker impatiently as you feel the eagerness soaking your panties and he lifts you up to take them off.
“My sweet girl,” his voice is light and airy that it becomes almost lost in the heat of the car. “You’re excited tonight. Did you miss me?” The devilish smirk can be felt upon your collarbones.
“Yes, I haven’t seen you for almost five days.” A peculiar whine settles in your pout and Jaemin’s low growl sends shivers down your spine. The only barrier are his own tight jeans and your hands are fast at unbuckling his belt. Jaemin relaxes back, forearms resting on your soft thighs and watching the neediness in your expression and the speed of your hands. He smiles to himself seeing you this way, wanting him so badly that you can’t wait to get him out of his jeans.
Throughout the two months that you and Jaemin finally became well acquainted, he’s fallen inexplicably into your trance. His friends made it very clear to you that he doesn’t keep the same girl around for more than a few weeks. But he’s brought you to almost every race so far and despite the initial shock of your appearance after the third time, you didn’t let the passing comments phase you.
Why he hasn’t replaced you is unknown and truthfully, there is no reasonable explanation how you always wind up in the backseat of his car by the end of the night. It’s become part of your routine. Jaemin picks you up around ten in the evening with raunchy lyrics blasting out of his personalized car for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. More often than not, Jaemin has food ready for you to devour and a cozy blanket for your exposed legs.
You’ve learned a bit more about him through your backseat chronicles. Jaemin is possibly one of the only people in your life with a heart bigger than his own body, while also being as carefree as he can. Oddly enough, he cares about you as his friend and as his companion. Not to mention the ridiculous, yet endearing nickname, “Lucky Charm”, that he has coined upon you.
Jaemin has been the best adventure you’ve had in ages. While he takes you on intoxicating thrill rides on the leather of his back seats, every street race has been more than unforgettable. He shares one of the same values as you --- wanting to remember the present. You both know that you’ll remember each other enough for it to transcend into your next lives.
You have him to thank for your youthful experiences, to learn and dive into this new found world of mischief under his care. Jaemin treats you extraordinarily well, he’d never hurt a soul. He showers you in appraisal and carefulness, he’s attentive to your behavior and remembers your favorite things. And he reminds you almost every time you see him that he’s so grateful to have you in his life.
“Have you been touching yourself?” Jaemin’s bold question catches you off guard as it causes your hands to shyly hover over his unzipped jeans. When you glance up at him with soft innocent eyes, as if you’re guilty of a crime and wish to beg for forgiveness, his facial expression is serious and intimidating. 
“Continue, baby. You can be honest with me. Daddy isn’t going to punish you if you did.” His tone is sweet and light, but his eyes are dark and piercing. His lips are drawn tightly into a thin line, no curve in sight.
His finger grazes down your cheek gently as he admires your slightly parted lips and the way your eyelashes dance every time you blink. However, his other hand urges you to continue your previous action of getting him out of his restrictive jeans.
You nod, while rubbing his erection through his gray briefs that hug him so tightly. There’s a sharp intake of breath when you pull the waistband of his underwear down and his cock stands against his lower abdomen. “Do you think of me when you do?” His voice gets caught in his throat when you take him in your warm hand.
“Always.” You kiss his jawline and fix your position above his dick. Your slick pussy presses down against his shaft, coating it in your juices and rubbing his tip to your clit for a delicious sensation. Jaemin groans, his gaze dipping between your lower bodies and back to your face.
“My sweet (Y/N) thinks about her daddy fucking her senseless while she touches herself.” Jaemin chuckles darkly, grinding his hips harder against you. There is a shift in the atmosphere as he grips your hips and slowly enters your dripping hole. “That’s cute, baby.”
You hold onto his shoulders as his raw dick fills you to the brim, stretching you out like past nights. Gasps leave your body when he starts pulling all the way out to only have you sink back down. “Daddy, please just fuck me.”
Jaemin picks up his speed, knowing that you have a quiz due at midnight that you scolded him for forgetting earlier. The grip on his shoulders tighten as this man navigates your body all too well. He knows you like the back of his hand, fucking the spot that causes your body to lose control.
One of his favorite sights in the world is the view of your lips parted open with loud whimpers falling effortlessly. Your eyes roll back into your skull as his hips roll deeper into your walls, the tip hitting your sweet spot repeatedly.
“You’re always the best girl for me, aren’t you?” His hand wraps around your neck when you throw your head back, choking you lightly and your walls grip around his shaft. “I know you’re close. Cum on my dick, baby. Be a good girl.”
Jaemin’s tattoos shine under the moonlight when you peer down at him. His hooded eyes are intoxicated by the pure image of your fucked out body and he’s truly in love. “My good girl, come on baby.” He continues to encourage, his other hand giving you a smack on your ass when he drills mercilessly into you.
The familiar bubbling occupy your lower half and the feeling of release unravels all so suddenly. You fall forward, Jaemin lets go of your neck to hold your limp body close to him, your head on his shoulder as your orgasm overtakes you. He grinds his hips into you to prolong your shaking climax, cooing sweet nothings in your ear as his other hand takes a whole handful of ass to squeeze.
He bottoms out, filling you up to the rim to cum deep inside of you. Jaemin moans loudly, his cum spilling all over your walls. You two sit like that until he grows soft, pampering your temples with gentle kisses. Jaemin remembers to take care of you, no matter what.
While you’re in his arms, he reaches for sanitary wipes in the side compartments. He lifts your hips slowly to pull out and you sigh at the emptiness. Gently, he swipes at the dripping cum from your pussy and makes sure that you’re all cleaned up before getting dressed.
“So, you want to tell me why you’ve been MIA for the past five days?” Rolling your eyes, you pull up your panties and fix the last decency of your hair.
“Car meets that are too far for me to take you.” His thumb rubs your chin lovingly and Jaemin’s eyes are so bright and mesmerizing, you find that it’s hard to look him in the eye at times.
“Not because you’ve been hooking up with other girls?” There is a tinge of sarcasm that laces your rhetorical question and though you don’t expect him to give you an actual answer, you take note of his reaction. Jaemin raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat and looking out the window away from you.
“And if I was?” Truthfully, that question hurt you more than your’s hurt him. His hand rests underneath his chin as he patiently waits for your answer. He admires the clear night sky and the rundown abandoned liquor store that stands all by itself.
“What do you want me to say?” Question after question, a stiff tension replaces the sex of the car.
“I’ll take you back now.” Jaemin crawls back to the driver’s seat, completely ignoring your confused figure. He has always been quite like this: going aloof whenever he wants to dodge something. However, it’s been happening more frequently the past times you two have been seeing each other.
The truth is simple, yet entirely complex at the same time. You and Jaemin aren’t dating, despite always going out together and him posessively introducing you to other men. You and Jaemin aren’t dating.
Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop you from growing feelings for him and you can tell that this happens too often for the attractive boy. He can’t have a fuckbuddy that won’t fall head over heels for him. But who could really blame you? Even if all this time Jaemin was pretending that he cared about you, he still pampers you like a princess; he still tells you he does.
But when it comes to discussion about advancing into something more, he hides and grows silent. This has you wondering, maybe this entire thing to him is all sex? And he can’t love you back the way you do.
No one knows his heart, not even himself. He’s never wanted to complicate his life, it’s always been about two things: racing and having fun. There is no easy way to explain it all, the thoughts that flood his mind and heart, so he chooses every way to ignore it. Overall, he’s genuinely lost. You are one source of stability in his life that he isn’t willing to let go, ever. But just because he won’t let you go, doesn’t mean that you won’t take the chance to leave when you’re fed up with him.
This has him wondering, how far can he push before he pushes you too far?
“No, it’s fine. I’ll just walk.” Tonight is unsettling, it usually doesn’t end like this. Jaemin locks the car doors and turns around to reach for your hand. “Jaemin, open the door.”
“I want you to say that you hate when I sleep with other people.” Jaemin confesses all too wildly as his hand lightly squeezes around your wrist. “And I want you to mean it.” He’s only speaking words of truth that haven’t had the time to process in his own thoughts.
“I hate when you sleep with other people.” And you do mean it. You mean it more than anything you’ve ever said to this man. Jaemin just sighs, bringing your wrist to his lips for a lasting kiss.
“Can I drive you home?” Jaemin asks softly, eyes dipping down to the leather seats and avoiding all need for eye contact.
“Yes, Jaemin.” He pulls you back into the passenger seat and drapes the soft blanket over your exposed legs. “Hopefully, I still have time to take my quiz.”
“Can I come inside?” Jaemin coolly turns his marble wheel to reverse out of the parking space, a hand resting on the shoulder of your seat as he does a double take behind him for any pedestrians, even if you two are far out in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t anyone around; Jaemin knows you have the hots for him when he does that specific move.
“What do you mean? You’ve already cum inside.”
It’s the sound of disappointment as his tongue tsks at you and he flicks lightly at your forehead. He steps on the acceleration, revving the annoying engine that roars throughout the peaceful night. The multicolored lights illuminate around his stereo and at your feet, creating the Rainbow Road right out of Mario Kart. 
Jaemin isn’t like the others who pay close attention to the details of his car. His motto goes, “if I like it, I’m going to have it.” Whether or not anything matches goes beyond his worries.
In some ways, his car is a mirror of his own personality --- wild and free, colorful and welcoming. And his skills as a driver? Safe, no matter how far the speedometer goes, Jaemin always makes you feel safe.
“I mean come inside your room for aftercare. You know how much I hate leaving you without a proper cuddle.” He pouts and almost immediately his cute baby tone comes out with his beg. Almost subconsciously, Jaemin lays his right palm open facing up to invite yours in. Almost routinely, you lace your hands to complete his hold. Getting Jaemin to smile has never been easier as his hold grows tighter.
“You can’t stay over tonight though. My housemates are doing some Single Girls Only house event tomorrow and it starts immediately when we wake up.” You laugh as the ridiculous words fill the air.
“And you’re participating in that?” Jaemin mindlessly asks and you’re unable to differentiate his implications from the question. Is he asking because the idea is horrendously nothing you’d like to do or he’s implying that you’re not single?
“Why wouldn’t I?” Sounding rather harsher than intended, Jaemin finally realizes how poorly he had worded his previous question. Yet, a part of him feels disappointment whirling in his chest and a desire to feel wanted by you.
“Doesn’t seem like something you’d like: wallowing in your singleness.” He chuckles, remaining lighthearted and playful.
“I really don’t.” Jaemin brings your knuckles up to his lips for a lingering kiss, his eyes darting quickly on the road ahead now that you’ve entered the metropolitan areas and his speed drops significantly to avoid getting ticketed.
“I’ll come pick you up. Instead of being single tomorrow, you’ll be on a date.” When you turn to examine his facial expression, the serious tension in his jawline and focused eyes alarm you. Your stomach twists into knots and if he couldn't already tell, your palms grow sweaty at his offer.
“That’s such a slap in the face to them.” Pulling your hand away from his, you cross your arms and lean your head against the cold window. “I don’t think I can do that to them.”
“I have a race tomorrow.” He starts, his head tilting over at you with his round gorgeous begging eyes, “at least, come to that with me.”
“Okay, but only because I want to see Haechan.” As if it wasn’t moments ago, Jaemin was the one balls deep in you and now you’re spewing enthusiasm for another man. It’s all a joke, a way for you to conceal your undying attraction for Jaemin.
You still remember the first time you met the sunshine that is Haechan and the jealousy that seeped from Jaemin’s words when he noticed the exchange of flirtation. Haechan is someone you’d knowingly gravitate towards: a man with a loud personality that just knows how to conduct every personality in the room. And at that moment, Jaemin couldn’t tell if being more observant was a good or bad thing.
Jaemin never saw himself as outgoing as his other friends, staying more kept in his own circle, but he had the confidence to fake it. He’s bold, rather impulsive and slightly narcissistic, Jaemin knows how to use his strengths very well. 
However, when he saw the soft smirk on Haechan’s face and your shy mannerisms, a small tinge in his chest ignited a died out flame. He didn’t realize it before, but that was the very start of his long tumble of feelings for you.
“Do you say those things to purposefully get me jealous?” Jaemin rests his hand on your thigh, giving it a harsh squeeze. His eyes never leave the road and his tone reverts back to his dominant tone.
“Well, are you jealous?” It’s like you two dance in circles, answer questions with a question does not stop.
And as bratty as your tone is, you don’t expect the quick “yes” that answers back and the smoldering look he gives you briefly before focusing back on the drive.
“Then good.” You huff, ready to hop out of the car after the odd, yet sensual tension. Jaemin pulls up to your house and double parks the car to lean in for a nightly goodbye kiss.
“You’re not coming in?” You try to read his facial expressions, but he hides his emotions too perfectly.
His lips curl into a smile before saying, “I think it’s better I cool off tonight.” And you mindlessly give him a peck, but he holds your face to deepen it. Through the kiss, you can feel the neediness by the way Jaemin shoves his tongue into your mouth. The taste of lust against your palette is difficult to ignore, but your academically responsible mind screams at you about your forgotten quiz.
Your hand lightly taps at his chest and he pulls away, his eyes drinking up your swollen lips. “I have a quiz, Jaemin.”
“I know, sorry. It’s just so easy to get lost in you.” Jaemin kisses your cheek once more before you exit. You smile back at him as his words have grown a strong effect on you lately. Bidding him goodbye, he wishes you sweet dreams as he patiently makes sure you’re fully inside your house.
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“Is the music too loud?” Jaemin checks over at your hunched figure in the passenger seat. You’re diligently flipping through your thick textbook, a yellow highlighter in one hand and the other comfortably holding Jaemin’s.
The worst part of college is the never ending midterms that are given at any time. Studying in his car isn’t a rare sight, if anything it is more expected than you not doing anything related to your academics. But Jaemin genuinely doesn’t mind, even being mindful about his own actions to ensure an optimal studying space for you.
He really is an ideal guy. Like his first promise, he keeps you well fed and never once asks you for any monetary pay back. Jaemin adjusts the car temperature before you even step into the vehicle, knowing that you prefer wearing less clothes rather than more. Though he isn’t academically responsible, he still makes the effort to try and understand enough information to pass his classes.
The sole flaw would be the lack of open communication. It’s genuinely difficult for you to read his emotions or intentions. Jaemin always has a dazed look in his eyes whenever he looks at you, and it’s an internal fight about whether or not you’re being delusional.
“Music is fine, honey.” The mindless use of a pet name slips from your lips, but your concentration on neoliberalism and globalization doesn’t allow for you to notice.
Nevertheless, Jaemin catches on immediately to the usage. While he showers you in ridiculous nicknames, you’re not one to do so. “Honey?”
“Yes?” You answer back carelessly, not entirely actively listening to him as you highlight an important concept in your book.
“No, you called me honey.”
Looking up from your page, you blink at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. “I did?”
Jaemin chuckles and finally pulls into the overly crowded parking lot, a whole mass of fanboys cheering at the arrival of his flashy vehicle. Everyone just loves Jaemin.
This familiar scene plays like a reel --- several high beams cast light under the dark sky due to the lack of functioning street lamps, dizzy multicolored cars that blaze the tracks, and the all too distinct smell of musky cologne in the chilly air. Oh, and the wide eye admirable stares when you get out of the car.
“Hi, you’re stunning.” A bold new recruit blinks at you in complete awe and awkwardly clears his throat once he realizes his rash comment.
Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him, then at how you plan on handling the situation. You’re flattered, nonetheless, but know that Jaemin didn’t bring you here to flirt with other men. “Thank you. I hope you enjoy your membership in the Ridin’ Club.”
The gracefulness in your delicate voice has the youthful recruit swooning and subtly giddy as he runs off to join a group of others that have been eying you across the parking lot. Jaemin casually drapes his leather jacket over your exposed shoulders, knowing the temperature change is going to result in you most likely catching a cold and because you never bring a jacket despite his plea.
“The power you hold.” Jaemin winks at you before pulling you into a larger crowd to socialize with more impressionable recruits.
“Ah, so you’re (Y/N)!” The stranger is unrecognizable, but you giggle to acknowledge his confident statement. “We haven’t met before, but Jaemin was talking about you the other night at our motorcycle meet.”
Your eyes light up, as if you’ve unlocked a new fun fact of Na Jaemin. “You drive a motorcycle too?” You’re truly shocked at the talent of this man.
Jaemin snakes his arm around your lower waist to draw you closer to his side. “Yeah, but I can’t fuck you in a motorcycle, can I?”
Before the other men can comment on the obvious sexual tension that Jaemin created, he leans in to whisper into your ear. “Actually, I can, but we’ll save our decency from unwanted exposure.” His hot breath grazes against the shell of your ear and you just know where you two are going to end up tonight.
“Bro, you guys probably fuck in the backseat of his car.” One of them chimes recklessly, punching at each others’ chest playfully as if he made a decent joke.
“Why don’t you stay to find out?” Jaemin retorts and the grip on your hip becomes tighter. You’re too flustered to add much into this odd form of competitive banter, distracted by none other than the way Jaemin keeps glancing over at you with a delicious gleam in his eyes.
“So what? You don’t care about us now?” You’d know that bratty tone from anywhere as Lee Haechan pushes past everyone else to rush over to the both of you.
“Aw, are your feelings hurt?” Jaemin sticks his tongue out at his friend before cordially sharing a handshake with him.
“Just slightly.” Haechan looks over at you with a wide grin and playful eyes, “hello, my pretty girl.”
“Drop the possessives, Haechan.” Jaemin rolls his eyes with an irritable twitch on his lips.
He hates how obviously jealous he gets. It’s something too difficult for himself to control, he’s exhausted his efforts to bite his tongue whenever it comes to other people’s flirtations. The thought of someone else calling you theirs doesn’t sit well with him.
“I understand your jealousy, Jaem. If someone was flirting with (Y/N), I wouldn’t be able to stand it either.” Haechan fixes the falling jacket on your shoulders. “But she can handle herself, I know those pretty lips have a mind of their own.” His gaze drops momentarily, yet obvious enough for you to grow shy at how strong Haechan is coming off tonight.
“Stop trying to corrupt her, that’s my job.” Jaemin playfully pushes at Haechan’s chest and they both break out laughing.
“I haven’t said one thing and you’re both talking about me as if I’m not here.” Your small pout is literally the cutest thing to Jaemin. He physically has to stop himself from planting the sweetest kiss on it.
It’s blatantly clear that you’re hot stuff. You’re the perfect example of a head turner, your captivating aura has its ability to suffocate those around you. However, Jaemin has seen all sides of you, but overall finding you so entirely cute. And oddly enough, Jaemin has a knack for cute things.
“Is that (Y/N) I hear?” Huang Renjun engulfs you in a hug, showing clear affection and doesn’t mind doing so. “How did your project go?”
“It went well. You accomplish a lot when you don’t procrastinate.” Renjun gleams at your statement and if Jaemin is delusional enough, he’d probably mistaken the twinkle in his eyes for infatuation instead of admiration.
“You’re so responsible, why are you messing with Jaemin?” Renjun sighs and though his question is more of a joke, there is some truth behind his words.
Your friendship with his friends differ immensely compared to other girls who have come around. Like Jaemin had said before, his boys were going to like you and they do, a lot. Sometimes making it obvious that you’re too good for him.
Jeno comes up from the side, an unidentifiable bruise on his neck and a new cut on his brow. Lee Jeno being such a rough character, his appearance speaks well about how his day has been.
But when he lays his eyes on you, it’s as if all his pain is replaced with joy and security. “(Y/N)! I haven’t seen you in so long!” The enthusiastic boy rushes over to greet you with a warm smile.
“I’m pretty sure I was here a week ago.” You laugh, but welcome him in your arms for a tender friendly hug and pat his head out of habit.
“It’s been a week?! That’s so long.” Jeno narrows his eyes at Jaemin and flicks his forehead.
“Ow!” Jaemin exclaims while rubbing the pain away. “You act like she doesn’t go to the same school as us and therefore, can see her any time you want to.” The tone in Jaemin’s voice raises some eyebrows as they all exchange glances to each other before bursting into laughter.
“Like your jealous ass would allow for that?” Haechan remarks and Jaemin doesn’t outwardly react. However, Jaemin’s hand is squeezing you so tight that you’re more than certain he’s bothered by the comment.
“Oh, stop it. You all know I’m Team Jaemin. He does have the most wins this past month.” You only know that through Jaemin’s proud boasting, anything else in the racing world is unknown to you.
Jaemin situates you in between his legs as he slightly sits on the hood of his car. His arms wrap around your middle and chin rests on your shoulder. Public display of affection isn’t a problem for him, and you learned much earlier that Jaemin can’t keep his hands off of you.
Renjun scoffs at your whimsical fact, in absolute disbelief. “It hurts more hearing you say it. I’m getting my car upgraded, but once it’s done, I’m going to blaze his ass on the tracks.”
“Are you racing today?” Jeno asks the blue haired fellow that clings onto you like a koala.
“Yeah, against a newbie. Apparently he’s really good, so I’m not too sure I’ll win.” Jaemin mumbles into your hair.
“You say that every time, yet you win!” Renjun crosses his arms, weight shifting to his left leg as he pops his hip out. There is always a sense of competition between anyone with Renjun.
Jaemin perks up behind you and when you turn around in his arms, you’re face to face with a beaming smile. “That’s because I have you.” Eyes lock with yours, he isn’t saying that directed to Renjun. Na Jaemin has you wrapped around his pinky, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach are too hard to ignore.
“Alright, lovebirds. Get in your car and let’s start this shit.” Haechan groans and claps his hands to draw the crowd’s attention. Cupping them around his mouth, he roars into the starry night, “let’s roll!”
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During the race, Jaemin’s number one priority is to keep you safe. While you’ve sat in his car for a number of times now, it’s different once the loud bang goes off and he’s hitting 100 mph. Tonight’s track is much more dangerous, with twists and turns that can have the vehicle flying weightlessly if he’s not careful.
“You trust me, right?” Jaemin has both hands on the wheel and the engine rumbling as you both anticipate the start of the race.
Spectators watch on the sidelines as if it’s the ultimate battle, but Jaemin doesn’t pay them much mind. He’s more concerned about you instead. “Of course. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. You’ve proven yourself that you’re an excellent driver, so let’s win this.”
Jaemin smirks at your encouraging words, feeling a warmth spread across his chest. “I’ll tap out any time you want me to, okay?”
You nod and the initial whip of the car is so intense that you didn’t even register the sound off. It’s not your first race, but it’s been awhile since the last one. When you adjust to the pressure, the lanes in front of you cause a slight queasiness in your stomach.
It’s a two lane windy road that wraps around the mountain side and Jaemin happens to be in the outer lane. All it takes is a second of lost control and you two will hit the metal railings that guard the cliff below. Despite your inner panic, Jaemin guides you through the pooling anxiety that leaves you restless.
“(Y/N), look up and out the window. We’re coming up on the cliff side view, I’ve always wanted to bring you here.” Your eyes land on the dazzling glitter that dances on the ripples of the lake. It’s so vast, the moon high up in the sky is reflected on the water below. It’s a romantic scene of melancholy and bliss. Suddenly, you feel at peace in the middle of this high speed race.
“It’s beautiful, Jaem.” You whisper calmly and he’d reach for your hand to hold, but races take too much wheel control. And he’d turn to look at you, but races take too much concentration on the road ahead.
But throughout every obstacle, he hears the gentleness and the solidarity in your cadence in the midst of all the high stress. He, too, feels peace. He feels calm knowing that you’re simply by his side, even in the face of danger. So, he can finally admit to himself… he genuinely developed feelings for you.
Before you know it, you’re thrusted side to side from the sharp turns and the adrenaline kicks in when the other racer catches up right next to Jaemin. “Fuck,” Jaemin curses underneath his breath and steps harshly on the acceleration. “Baby, I’m going to go a bit faster so hold onto something.” He warns and your hand finds the grab handle. It’s neck and neck at this point.
Usually, you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid becoming too overwhelmed by the sights in front of you. Tonight is different, not entirely knowing why, you’re observing every element that circles around the perimeter.
The finish line is up ahead, but there is no sign that the other racer is slowing down. Then, you see it: the fatal mistake that can cost you both of your lives if you didn’t catch it. “Jaemin, watch out!” You yelp when the other car inches dangerously close, your warning allows Jaemin to make a controlled swerve away from a possible hit.
Jaemin shakes his head and tsks at the recklessness. “Now I know why he’s good. It’s foul play.” He blows his bang out of his eyes and casually says, “thank you for warning me. This is why I need you by my side.”
He makes it to the finish line barely before the other, winning the race by half a second. Jaemin brakes smoothly, tire marks scrapping the concrete below, and you both exit the car to celebrate with everyone else.
But before the mass of eager shouting men make their way over to you two, Jaemin hurries to your side to pull you into a steamy, rewarding kiss. The scene is just like the movies; his hand on your lower back and yours on his chest lightly. His lips taste like triumph, like he had won more than just a simple race against a random stranger. He’s won the best person he could ever have.
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You two fled the scene after cussing out the other racer. It was a rare sight to see: Jaemin being all bothered and angry, practically fuming after scrambling back into the driver’s seat. However, your mind had mischievous plans of its own and all it took was one look from his hooded eyes for you to announce that you wanted him --- badly.
Back in your usual abandoned parking lot, Jaemin pauses before following you to the back seats. With the engine off and the dead of the night being absolute silent, the tension remains thick around you two. “(Y/N),” Jaemin is about to confess something he never thought he’d admit. He turns to you sitting in the middle seat with just your panties on and a curious look on your face.
His heart burns and despite being so incredibly aroused, he controls his urges enough to be able to say, “I’m into you.”
“I know you’re into me, that’s how we ended up like this in the first place.” You giggle cluelessly to his words, still not understanding the odd shift in mood and intentions. It’s always his unclear, messy intentions.
Though he can’t entirely figure out his puzzle pieces, he has plenty to connect the dots. “I like you. I want to be in a relationship with you and call you my girlfriend.”
You’re stunned. Did Jaemin just confess to you as you sit in your panties ready to fuck? This softness is different from the sides you’ve seen of him. It’s similar to a lost bunny, wandering grasslands to find a purpose. He looks so fragile, one intense stare and he’d crumble. This softness is vulnerability.
“So do it.” The boldness catches him off guard, but switches on the dominance in him. “If you want me, come show it.”
He climbs over the middle console to push you into the leather seats. “Not acting shy anymore, are you?” Practically ripping your shirt off of you, he cups your breast lightly and flicks at your nipples. Your immediate reaction results in a rush of wetness down your core.
“Before I forget,” sitting up, you share a passionate kiss that you’ve held back long enough. You give it every ounce of feeling you have for him. “If it isn’t obvious enough, I like you too.”
“It’s obvious, baby.” Kissing your nose, he wraps a hand around your throat to lightly push you back down. “But hearing you say it out loud makes me happy.” Jaemin smirks, hand still choking you gently and pampering your jawline with soft kisses.
His free hand reaches down into your dripping panties, circling your clit with your wetness. The sensation causes you to whimper for more. “Daddy, give it to me.” You wiggle in his palm, knowing that the nickname is more than effective.
“My sweet (Y/N) wants to get fucked?” Jaemin rolls your underwear off and rids himself of his own bottoms.
“Yes, please.” Through the darkness, his hard dick stands proudly. Jaemin lines himself up as he thrusts into you without another second of hesitation. He waits for you to adjust to his size, his tip barely grazing your sweet spot. “Fuck…”
“You take me so well, my pretty baby.” Jaemin starts moving his hips, slowly at first to build a rhythm. Taking your legs, he presses them into your chest to fuck you at a deeper angle. And you feel him practically in your guts, his cock pumping against your walls deliciously and bumping into your g-spot. “Do you want more of me?”
Your train of thought is in utter shambles and whatever Jaemin is saying to you barely processes. You’re overwhelmed by a pleasure that fills every system, every part of your body. To answer him, you let out an incoherent noise of approval.
Jaemin pulls your hips down while thrusting forward into you, maximizing every inch of his strokes. This single action causes you to scream and grip onto the headrest. “Who knew my sweet girl could be so fucking dirty?” Jaemin chuckles darkly, his cadence dropping several decibels. “When I first met you, I wanted to ruin you.”
All of his filthy words edge you closer to your release as he continues to repeat his previous motion. He holds your hips in place to grind into you, the feeling of his tip rubbing your walls has your eyes rolling back. “Do you want to cum, (Y/N)?”
“Yes!” You yell, the tight ball in your lower abdomen is bound to break any minute. “I want to cum so badly, please.” You beg and moan, the arch in your back lifts you from the seat of the car. Jaemin snaps his hips into you, drilling you quickly to reach your high. And you break. An euphoric cry fills the air as your walls clench around his length. You hear the extra wetness create a slick noise, but Jaemin isn’t done with you yet.
“You wanted to cum so fucking badly. I’ll reward you with one more for being such a good girl for me.” His thumb flicks at your clit and you convulse into spasms from the sensitivity. Your violently shaking legs can’t hold themselves up anymore and Jaemin rests them on his shoulders. He lines kisses along your ankle as the pleasure overtakes you.
“I don’t think I can do it.” You whine, your fingers twisting and toes curling.
“You are going to try, okay baby?” He coos, but it’s most definitely a demand. He sits back on his knees to pick up more speed, fucking endlessly into your swollen pussy and thumb rubbing fast strips against your bud.
“I’m going to snap, Jaem.” You cry, tears rimming your eyes and before you know it, a second wave hits you. Your second orgasm is ruinous and has you squirming around to regain some sense of control.
“Oh fuck, you’re so beautiful.” Jaemin slows down as your walls grip around him again, tighter this time. “I’m going to fill you up with cum,--- watch it drip out of you.” He grunts while releasing into you, his dick twitching and spraying your insides with white.
He pulls out as hot, white cum spills from your pussy. You take this moment to catch your breath and relax your legs. However, Jaemin coats his two fingers and shoves the cum back into you. “Jaemin!” You exclaim at the sudden intrusion.
He curls them into your plushy walls and finger fucks you into another oblivion. “Wait, again?” Your hands wrap around his wrist, but Jaemin moves too fast for you to catch it.
You’re a moaning mess again, louder than before. Jaemin leans down and flicks his tongue against your overstimulated bundle of nerves. Your back arches automatically and a low animalistic scream rises from your throat.
He observes your body lines underneath the moonlight and the last remaining light the broken street lamps have to offer. Your face contours and you’re so far out into ecstasy that you don’t notice how intensely Jaemin watches you lose yourself.
“It feels too good!” With one last thrilling orgasm, you almost pass out and you see small stars of dizziness. He soaks up every last bit of your cathartic reaction and festers a small sense of pride that he can make you feel all this pleasure.
“Such a good girl. You’re beyond impressive, baby.” Jaemin pulls his fingers out to lick them clean and finds some wipes to help you out of your sticky situation.  
“Now that you’re my girlfriend, can we cuddle at any time now? Not just as after care.” He peers up at you and the one word enacts a burning warmth to spread across your chest. That is the best nickname he can call you by.
“I think the Singles Girls Only house event is still going on, but after that, yes a million times.” You laugh and wrap your arms around him into a big loving hug.
Jaemin feels right at home. All the long years of living carelessly and wild, he’s finally found someone worth the extra mile. While Jaemin was a thriving adventure to be explored, you were his comfort to run back to.
It is through the intimacy of your backseat chronicles that Jaemin was able to fall deeper for you. You’re his lucky charm, for some reason, he always feels better around you. 
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autisticandroids · 3 years
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What bothers you about engaging with Claire? you don’t have to reply if you’re not comfortable or just don’t want to though im just nosy
i mean i really don't like her relationship with cas i feel like it's unearned. i feel like it's really important to distinguish moral culpability and like. emotional reactions that make sense.
like i think that cas can't meaningfully be blamed for what he did to claire. what he did to her is a tragedy but it's not really his crime anymore, he's changed. like cas is no longer the person who would do that to her. he is, imo, as absolved of moral culpability for that as he could reasonably be.
but that doesn't mean that it makes sense for claire to be able to. build a relationship with him. like first of all, we the audience know he's changed, but she doesn't. it should have taken a lot more to prove that to her. it's something that he should have had to really work for. like cas needs to earn like. claire not hating him with every fiber of her being. and he doesn't. like i like the idea of her forgiving him to give herself peace. but it needs to feel earned.
(see this post for my thoughts on a way to earn it, but like. that's just one possibility and i am very interested in exploring others.)
but the second part is like. even after she forgives him. and is no longer angry. he still caused her a trauma that she can never get over. so like. even though she doesn't hate him, even though she doesn't blame him, i feel like them having a continuing relationship is... that seems not right, to me. i don't think claire wants to see her dad's face walking around with someone else inside it, even if intellectually she knows it's not his fault and he would change it if he could. like i think them having a continuing relationship is like. if they were going to do that. it would have to be given a huge amount of time because it would be complicated and horrifying. certainly it could never be paternal that's too gross. but i think it would be easier for everyone involved if they never spoke again. like i think he has a certain obligation to make sure that she's materially cared for but that doesn't mean they have to be friends. like i think it would be really interesting if they were but it would take work, and a deft touch on the writers' part.
also, here are some posts that i think about re: claire and cas. i don't necessarily agree with them, even the ones i made, since my idea of claire has changed since then (mostly bc i watched season ten). but they're all... interesting to me. this is my favorite post about claire on the whole webbed site.
okay. now that we've described sort of... my ideal emotional arc for claire and cas, let me discuss some things that really, really bother me in the cas-claire stuff in season ten. the first thing is that i find it deeply, deeply gross that cas immediately tries to assume a parental role with claire. that's something that he has not earned, and which would just retraumatize her. it's gross. he owes her a great debt, but "parenting" is not even vaguely on the list of things he owes her, and it's horrifying.
the second thing is that i think her interactions with him are like. intended to read as sweet. but that's not how they read. the fact that her emotional reaction to him is so disjointed and weird compared to what it should be, the fact that she's in such desperate straits, the fact that she is very clearly used to depending on shady older men for help, plus the fact that he so obviously desperately craves absolution and validation from her, and the fact that, being cas, he's so gullible, well. it adds up to a picture. it reads like cas is another older man who she is trying to provide with what he wants from her because she's afraid (of the world but also of him) and powerless and she needs help and she doesn't know how to get it besides being pretend nice to skeevy dudes so they'll buy her a meal. like it reads as an interaction that stems from a really, really upsetting power dynamic. and like. sure cas means nothing but well. but he's both too socially unaware and too wrapped up in his own narcissistic guilt to see that he's one more traumatizing presence in the life of a normal human teenage girl, who she feels compelled to play nice with because she needs his help and is afraid of him.
also if you're interested in better ways for cas to engage with claire, i really like this fic.
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messrmoonyy · 3 years
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number 3 from the physical touch list (hiding face in neck) for remadora please :)) (no pressure)
Not me neglecting previous prompts/requests because this one the one I got motivation for.
Prompt from this list.
I used this to do my spin on the aftermath of the Battle of the Seven Potters, Cause I like anxious overprotective Remus🙃😗✌🏻( I also changed like. The entire dialogue from the original scenes because why not ). Think battle of seven potters but add a little ✨spice and drama✨. I went off on a total tangent on this tbh. As I do with every prompt it seems. Anyway. Hope you like it my dear anon.
Pairing: Remus lupin x Nymphadora Tonks
Warnings: none
Check my masterlist for all my other writing!
She was late. Incredibly so. Her and Ron should have been one of the first pairs to arrive at The Burrow, he’d arranged for her to have one of the shortest routes. He’d not told her that of course but he was quite sure she’d known he’d gotten a little too tetchy and secretly spoken to Alastor. But he had a right to be over protective didn’t he? This was was his wife. The woman he had literally, and in every sense of the word, sworn his life to. Sworn his dying breath to protect her, care for her.
Yet he’d let her put herself in danger. He could have tried to persuade Alastor to let him and George go the same route as Dora and Ron, or at least in the similar direction. He knew he had to be focussed on the war effort, knew he had a duty to protect the children. But… he also had a duty to protect her. His wife. His Dora. And now for all he knew Bellatrix could have struck her down, her body lying lifeless in a field somewhere.
He wasn’t a particular calm man at the best of times, his stress had its own stress, but he had never felt worse than he did in that moment. He’d already practically attacked Harry, was in no way of any comfort to George and Molly. Or anyone else.
So he was waiting out of the way by the window, constantly looking up at the sky through the glass and waiting for her to materialise through the burrows guards, come skidding over and laugh at him for being anxious over nothing. But the sky remained clear of her vibrant hair and her joyful laugh. The stars practically mocking him as he waited.
“ she’s a tough one. She’ll be okay “ Kingsley had appeared at his side “ Bill and Fleur, Ron and Tonks. They’ll all be here soon. Stop fretting Remus “ Remus almost laughed at the sheer stupidity of telling him not to fret over her. As if he ever did anything else. He always worried for her safety, had done long before they had even become a couple. Waiting up for her to come home from late shifts at the ministry in the days she’d stay at Grimmauld, worrying about her when she’d turn up with a new bruise or gash from something. Marrying her had simply made him fret more.
He’d never felt so protective of anyone in his life, never thinking he ever would either. Yet here he was, constantly putting her first and wanting to do nothing but take care of her. She never left his mind, was his first priority forever and always. He didn’t even want to think about what he’d do if he ever lost her, if he ever failed to protect her.
“ Bill and Fleur were scheduled to arrive as one of the last. Dora and Ron should have been one of the first pairs here “ he said it slightly more harshly than intended and turned to apologise to his friend immediately after, but as he did there was the sound of something passing through the guards outside.
Remus charged outside, almost tripping over his own gangly limbs as he went. He froze to the spot in a mixture of shock and relief as Doras broom appeared in the sky, the bristles smoking and charred as she made an unsteady decent to the ground. She landed in a long skid,stumbling from the broom and directly into Remus’ arms. She practically fell into him and would have knocked him to the floor if he hadn’t been stiff as a board.
“ Remus “ she gasped, hugging him so tightly it took the air from his lungs. But he didn’t even care, he’d give his last breath if it meant dying with her there in his arms. Because she was alright. She was right. There “ was so worried about you. The death eaters and- fuck I know you’re really no good on a broom and you bloody hate flying at the best of times. Merlins balls I was so scared “ she rambled so fast Remus barely understood what she was saying to him.
His hand slipped into her hair in some attempt to hold her as close as he could, still trying to accept that she was really there. Safe. Alive. He had worried for nothing of course. He should have known. She was tough. So much tougher than he gave her credit for it seemed.
He gently pried her out of his grip slightly, needing to see her face just to make sure it really was her. That he wasn’t dreaming it.
“ where were you “ as had most of his words that evening, it came out a little harsh but she didn’t seem to care. She reached up to cup his face in a soothing manner that was the complete opposite of his previous words to her.
“ Bellatrix. Wants me dead just about as much as Voldy wants Harry. Missed our port key. But I’m fine. Ron’s fine. We’re fine. You’re fine? “ he could feel tears welling in his eyes and he felt a bit stupid, but he couldn’t help it. Words failed him and he simply just nodded and pulled her back into his arms “ fucking deatheaters “ she grumbled.
He pressed his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent and letting it calm him. She smelt like the fresh air, her hair all wind tousled and the slightest hint of smoke. Probably from her charred broom. Her hand rubbed gentle circles into his back and it made him feel… small. Which was funny with how much smaller she actually was compared to him.
“ sweetheart… I’m fine “ she said softly, clearly reading his fear still evident on him “ Remus “
He lifted his head as her hand patted him lightly, but he couldn’t bare to part from her again just yet and his forehead dropped to hers.
“ I’m afraid I underestimated you once again, darling. I knew deep down you’d make it back to me, I’m getting far too old to be worrying like this “ he said with a hint of a smile.
“ oh don’t worry, you won’t get rid of me that easily. Take more than a few of old Voldys mental lackeys to take me out. You’re stuck with me now. Im going no where “ their faces were so close he could feel her cheeks shift as she smiled with her words. Her nose brushed against his before she pressed a kiss to his lips. He usually was rather strict on his avoidance of showing affection to his wife in front of well… anyone really. But he happily kissed her back, even if he did cut it off a little shorter than he truly wanted. Still wondering at the back of his mind if any of the order were secretly judging him. It’d never escape him no matter how hard he tried not to care about it.
As they pulled apart she then only seemed to notice that there was blood on his hands and his jacket. She took a step back, her hands suddenly searching for an injury.
" blood? Remus? " her hands were frantic as she yanked at his collar, pushed up his sleeves, searching for anywhere she could find an injury. He grabbed ahold of her hands and shook her slightly so that she would look at him, it was clearly her time to fret and not his.
" Dora. Dora relax. It's not mine. It's not my blood. George was hit.. don't worry he's alive. He's lost an ear but he's okay. So am I. Not my blood love, it's not mine " she couldn't seem to help herself then and dived for lips again, holding his face in her hands and kissing him harder than before. He still couldn’t help but be a little reluctant but kissed her back, his embarrassment of kissing her in front of others not mattering when they were both just thankful to be alive and with each other.
" I'm just so happy you're alive " she whispered when she pulled back, resting her forehead to his. He opened his mouth to say something else but suddenly she was yanked out of Remus' embrace and shoved away, her clumsy legs stumbling in the gravel and she fell quite ungraciously onto her ass with a grunt of pain. Remus immediately rushed to her side in confusion.
" what the fuck! " she shouted and Remus looked up to see that Kingsley had been the one to pull her away, his wand now pointed at her face.
" Kingsley! Lower your wand! " Remus immediately jumped to her defence, crouching beside her and placing a hand to her shoulder  " Dora are you okay? Dora? "
" someone betrayed us we have to check everyone. You didn't even confirm her identity Lupin, she could have killed you. Look I didn’t mean to knock you down- we have to be certain you understand? "
" are you bloody mental?! " Dora yelled again, rubbing at her elbow that she’d clearly hurt on the way down.
" Kingsley... lower your wand she got Ron back safetly it's quite clearly- "
" we have to check " Kingsley said cutting off Molly, who had come outside with the commotion. Remus helped her back to her feet and then grabbed her hand, stepping in between her and kingsleys raised wand.
" lower. Your. wand. " his voice was commanding as he could muster, Kingsley was his friend. But Dora was his wife. And she came first. And he would put himself between her and a raised wand any and every time. No matter who was on the other end of it.
" Nymphadora Tonks gave me a present for my birthday last year. What was it?" Kingsley asked, ignoring Remus entirely, his wand still pointed at her as she was half hid behind Remus’ body.
" this is ridiculous! We're all turning on each other now? "
" answer the question " Kingsley ignored Remus again, which only made his blood boil more. He was already on edge that evening with the fear of losing his wife. This wasn’t helping to lower his stress levels.
" I know my own damned wife- "
" what was it! " Remus drew his own wand then at the increase in Kingsleys anger, pointing it in Kingsleys direction.
" Remus! "
" lower. Your wand. And step away from my wife " he demanded, not wanting to hurt Kingsley… but willing to if he had to.
" you don't even know if that is your wife"
" please! Stop the both of you! " Molly shouted.
" fucking hell " Dora said and held onto Remus hand harder, stepping better into view " I gave you a new set of quills because I charmed your last lot to throw them self out the window whenever you touched them. Happy? " Kingsley was quiet for a moment longer " now drop your wands. Both of you " Kingsley looked to Remus before finally lowering his wand. But Remus couldn’t. He felt betrayed almost, that someone he thought as a friend would do something like threaten the woman he loved.
Dora pressed gently on Remus' wrist to make him too lower his wand when he didn’t do it if his accord immediately " Remus. Lower your wand...Remus “
" this is exactly what Voldemort would want. To see us all turning on each other. We cannot let ourselves get paranoid like this " Remus said bitterly, wrapping an arm around his wife protectively and finally dropping his wand arm. He knew that Kingsley has been right to check in a way. He had needed to check. Though there were much better ways to go about it rather than pointing a wand at her head. To hold a wand to a witch or wizard was one of the most disrespectful things you could do.
" someone betrayed us "
" Dora and I are never out of each other's sight long enough for anyone to have made a switch or have her as their spy. And you know that. How dare you hold a wand to her head. How dare you " Remus was itching for an argument. And Dora could sense it, also so incredibly good at reading his emotions and thoughts before even he was.
" Remus " she said softly, lifting a hand to gently turn his face to look at her instead of glaring at Kingsley " Remus look at me " she ran her hand gently through his hair and he instantly seemed to relax. His own muscles losing tension without his consent at her touch. She had a knack at being one of the only people to get him to the calm down in almost an instant. Sirius and James had been the only other people he knew that could " relax. It's okay " she transported them into their own little bubble. As if the others were no longer in the burrow too and she kept him there, gently rubbing at his hand until his first unclenched and angry breaths returned to normal.
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7fckingidiots · 3 years
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Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;
HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!
The Brothers With A Trans MC
Lucifer
He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.
He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.
Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner
God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much
Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM
He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar
You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)
Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)
Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)
Mammon
You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it
King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.
Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.
If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights
You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.
KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it
Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.
Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too
You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)
Levi
He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!
Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours
Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions
Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT
Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive
Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL
Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)
If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.
You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)
God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)
Satan
Enby Satan. That’s all :)
He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers
He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)
Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you
He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan
Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT
Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.
Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)
Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.
!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0
Asmo
Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO
Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......
Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!
VOICE LESSONS
He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school
Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now
Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE
Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo
He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable
ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!
He loves you so much!!!!
Beel
another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!
he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)
he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help
stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you
he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you
he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????
will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel
makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead
hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D
Belphie
you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all
are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name 
if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly
he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith
calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie
will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys 
like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......
introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”
he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes
he loves you, so, so much :)
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s-fellows-art · 3 years
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Simplified tips on how to improve your art.
.putting under cut because its long but thats cause i explain these and not just list stuff. 
1)  Flip/mirror  your canvas when working. - it allows you see anatomy and other errors you may overlook. 
2) before uploading look at the image on a different screen or the next day. - this give you time away from it, and as tempting as it is to upload as soon as your done, if you wait  you will see stuff you can improve on and be able to look at it with “ fresh” eyes. 
3) Stop shading with black or grey scale colors- shading with inly these colors make the imAge look muddy, if you shade with a color that is a darker hue of the same color your adding shading to it one in the same tempters ( warm= R Y O cool = B G I V  on the Rainbow ) you get more vibrant art and you don’t muddy what your working on. 
4) Learn to grey scale BEFORE coloring as a draft p2- learning how to shade in black and white can help you identify lighting points and details. When digital painting simplifying something out to a grey scale can help you keep track of what your doing. 
5) Use the tools you have access too- References to learn anatomy , taking time to learn amniotomy will help you a lot in the long term, but doing everything off the top of your head your bond to get something wrong early on, or even later on in art.  Use the sharpen tool around highlights if your program offers it. It saves time. Also play with your filters and line art colors. These will ad detail to your work and takes less time. If you mess around with the brushes in your program and stuff before starting it will help you later on. Its not cheating professionals use it all the time. 
6) practice drawing random stuff- it teaches you the shapes and trains your hand ti make the strokes/motions needed for basically everything. Art studies can be very helpful. Even if it feels stupid drawing 500 eyes on a note pad, it helps. 
7) Simple is good, complex is chaos- over complex art is hard to look at because your not sure what to focus on so the areas you want the eye to go to is where you should focus your details rather then make every single little thing detailed. Another way to do this is to brighten the colors where you want the eye to go at first glance in an image, but make the other areas muted in color, or blurred slightly.  
8) Don’t be afraid to look up tutorials and take breaks if you get stuck - I personally only learned how to shade faces from watching makeup tutorials. And there is nothing shameful in not knowing how to do something and needing to look it up or ask, its how you learn you can just power you way through it all the time, and somethings your wasting your time if you do for something not worth it in the end run. Also the act if stepping back and away to go do something else is sometimes all you need, sometimes looking at the same file over and over again can be mentally exhausting. Take a break. Drink some water. Stretch your wrists. Look away from it for a while then come back. 
9) Stretch your wrists before working- save your self years if pain trust me. I regret not doing this. Also draw from your shoulder not your wrist unless detailing, less stress on your arm and more precision. 
10) Use different line thicknesses - i find using thicker lines for areas that touch the outer parts of your drawing or more important areas, and using thinner for detailing adds a bit of detail and quality to your work even if the line art isn’t clean. Inner face  parts (other then the top bracket of the eyes), lines between fingers, lines marking clothing folds, and things like that should be done in thinner lines then eyebrows and what not. 
Next two some will role your eyes at but honestly makes a huge difference, even if you got to force it at first. Its hard to break a bad habit.
11) don’t look for flaws in your work, look for what you like about it,- if your constantly pointing out what is wring with what you are doing your not gonna go any where, bare minimum go “ okay im not too happy about this, lets see how we can improve it” instead if “ this looks like garbage I hate it”. If you stay in the mentality of I don’t like this , your never gonna be happy with what your making or improve because subconsciously your telling you self you can’t. This slight change in mind set of trying to find at least one thing you like will make a big difference in the long run because slowly you will be moving towards finding a style your comfortable with and going from there, you will be finding things you
12) don’t compare you self to other artist- its one thing to want to take influence in your fave artist, its another to constantly out yourself down because your not like them. Everyone art started as shit. Everyone. We all were that crappy 1 year old can barely hold a pen person at one point. like learning how to read and write or ride a bike....  No one starts as a perfect artists, its something you learn, so comparing your self to people around you is not gonna help you improve and putting yourself down just because your not perfect yet. Even if its something as little as “im happy I finally finished this” is better then “I wish i was like _”. You are slowly moving towards a goal, some people just move quicker then others because they learn different techniques, instead if putting energy into hating everything you do why not try to learn how the people you like the art of got there by learning some techniques your self? 
13) Ignore the notes enjoy the journey-  Regardless , you making art is amazing in itself . Its something only you have made. There may be other things like it but its not like how you did. Your unique and honestly ignore the notes, if your constantly pushing yourself based off of numbers, your gonna burn your self out and give your self impossible expectations to try to complete. Everyone has different tasted and are not always gonna like what you do the same way, if at all, there is nothing wrong with what you made you simply just can’ please everyone and its not your job to. The notes are a bonus, not a goal, you don’t have to try to compete for them the only person you have to create for for is you. Do what ever the hell you want and if people like it, great, if they don’, then they like a different cup of tea then yours, don’s make it bad tea.  Edit 1 as i thought of more : also the reason your sketch looks better then your line art is because your line art is too neet. If you use difrent thicknesses in lines (thicker for outter areas and important areas) and thinner for areas with more movment (bottom crese of eyes or outline of area around puple inner part of mouth clothing inner parts or what ever u feelis needed) it will look better because it will show your brush strokes which is what makes your sketch look good. -You can also add a 3d effect woth the red and blue outlines on areas that are not the central focus of the peice. Blurring has the same sort of effect to where it forces the eye onto the clearer area if the photo and makes it more visually intresting. Having this effect everywhere however can make stuff hard to focus on and diffcult to look at so only keep it on non focus points (most common focus point is the face so wouldnt put it there) .
Idk how helpful these will be but they made a big diff in my progress over the past year. The last bunch made a significant difference for me, though it was really hard to force myself into that mentality. And i still skip doing some of these in occasion ill admit but i hope this helps none the less. 
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lettersnorth · 3 years
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It didn't surprise Aislinn an onze that Mivo'to had up and disappeared on his attendings one sun. Nor was she all that concerned. He had knocked himself out due to a miscalculation. It certainly wasn't the worst thing the clinic had seen. And he had clearly recovered. Win-win all around. She got to work stripping the sheets from the bed and cleaning  up the now vacant room.
Cravendy wandered into the clinic in search of fresh bandages and ointment. She could still feel the pressure pushing down on her bones, the smell of ceruleum burning after the explosion...and it didn't seem like it was going to go away any time soon. When she stepped in, she noticed Lin and called out to her on instinct. "Lin!"
An armful of sheets, Aislinn rounded the divider just as Cravendy called out. She halted, surprise flitting over her face for a brief moment before her expression pulled back to neutral. "Cravendy." she nodded a greeting and then scooted around the Seawolf to the waiting laundry basket. "What brings you in here? Everything alright?" she asked as she shoved the ball of sheets down into the overfull basket. Guess the wash was next on her list.
Cravendy awkwardly pressed herself against the infirmary partition to give Lin more space to walk, and got the feeling that she's not exactly a welcome sight. At best, a nuisance to entertain while there were chores to be done. With a shrug, she headed over to the cabinets and began pulling out all kinds of medical supplies. "Oh, ye know. Smartin' after the battle, lookin' for somethin' to make it all feel better. What about yerself? 'ow are ye 'oldin' up?"
"Me?" Aislinn asked as she straightened and brushed a flyaway wisp of hair from her eyes. "Aside from pulling Mivo'to out before the whole place went up I didn't do a damned thing that woulda caused me to be banged up." She eyed the collection Cravendy was haphazardly pulling from the potions cabinets and picked up a bulbous glass jar filled with a warm, golden liquid. This, she passed to Cravendy. "Drink two spoonfuls of this. Three if it doesn't take the edge off." she then nodded to the drawer below the cabinet. "You need a patch up? Afraid G'lewra is out so if you do, I can do it the mundane way. Or you can wait for her to aether-heal it."
“Could ye?” Cravs muttered as she gave Lin a curious stare. “I’m used to patchin’ myself up at this point but...I bet ye could get the ‘urt out faster.”
Cravendy grabbed the jar of golden liquid before heading back to take a seat. She twisted the medicine open and gave it a good sniff or two. "Bleh. Anyway, even if ye didn't do a thing, it's not every day ye survive an explosion. So, well, there's that. That and..." Cravs trailed off. "Well. I was surprised ye didn't use yer fancy math shields."
Aislinn paused, shooting the Seawolf a look of concern as she pulled the needed bandages and supplies from the drawers. The pain must be bad if Cravendy wasn't willing to wait. She went and joined the woman on the couch, setting a tray of the necessary items next to her. Careful not to meet the Seawolf's eye, she gave a half shrug at the observation. Silence reigned as she gingerly gestured for Cravendy to show her the burns. It filled the space until finally, with her time at the hot spring fresh in her mind, she let go a sigh and broke it. "I can't." she admitted, finally. "I can't use my shields or...any of it. Not since....not for awhile."
Cravendy unbuttoned her shirt, revealing bandages tied across her chest and around her back. There's also a significant scar on her lower abdomen that looks like it's healing weird, but healing nonetheless. "I applied ointment a few days ago, but it's 'ard to reapply it to my back. If ye could..."
Cravendy trailed off at Lin's admission, unsure what to say. She was originally going to poke fun at the situation, joke that Lin needs to practice the basics again. "Oh. Well, uh. What're ye doin' about that, then?"
The conversation was momentarily forgotten as Lin gathered the full measure of Cravendy's injuries. "Gods above, Cravendy. Why the hell didn't you come in the moment  you got back? Or say -anything- out there in the field. I coulda done something -then-!" To be fair, Cravendy had done a decent job, all things considered. She obviously wasn't new at this. Even so, the oddly healing scar drew Aislinn's attention and she carefully inspected it closer, her aether sense stretching out. She could, at least, still do that much.
"I assumed everyone got just as roasted! Figured, I could still move, so I could treat my own wounds. Bah, this was a mistake..." Cravs leaned a little away from Lin, nervous to show vulnerability. But when she noticed Lin drawn to the scar on her stomach, Cravs brought a finger to her lips. "Risin' gave me that one. Don't tell 'er though."
Cravendy tugged her shirt around herself so she's wrapped from the elbow down for the sake of modesty, though it really doesn't add much. "Anyway, ye were sayin'? About yer magic bein' broken?"
Aislinn jerked her chin up as Cravendy began to draw away, the look on her face all but daring the Seawolf to just try and keep it up. Small as she was, she wasn't letting Cravendy out of there without proper treatment. "No. Waiting to come here was the mistake." she chided. She shook her head in exasperation at the mention of the weird wound coming from Rising.
She could only imagine what raucous bout had caused that. "I have this way about me," she said, quickly surmising that if she kept talking, Cravendy would stay put. "Of absorbing curses. Cursed energy, hexes..." she trailed off as she motioned for Cravendy to turn around so she could get the ointment on her back. "Turns out, a person can only do that for so long until all that bad energy needs a place to go. It's made my aether...a touch unstable. I *could* cast a spell. I just don't know what'll come out."
Cravendy saw the face Lin was making - the same sort a parent would give a fussy toddler - and pouted. But she was already here, bandages exposed, back turned and ointment ready. It'd be even more dumb to get up and leave after getting so far. "Fine, but be thorough, eh? I want to be better by the time we 'ave to get blown up again."
Cravendy obliged to whatever Lin needed her to do in order to work and listened quietly, face forward and staring unfocused into the room. "Weird. So if I put ye in my room, would ye absorb all of the bad vibes? In the east, there's all this shit about Feng Shui and harmonizin' with yer surroundings."
Cravendy glanced back at Lin to see if her joke landed.
Aislinn blanched at the thought, even though she knew it was more than likely that Cravendy was just being a smart-ass. "Who knows...probably. Apparently I've been walking around for years just absorbing ambient refuse. Now I'm full up. Or close to it. It's...painful to be close to anything like that. Like I'm burning up from the inside. That's when I first realized something wasn't right." she said quietly as she cut away the old bandage and carefully pulled it back with delicate fingers.
Cravendy let out a disappointed breath at Lin's reaction and went back to looking forward. "That sounds...painful. I wish I could 'elp, but don't know the first thing when it comes to magical ailments. But I will say, ye should 'ang back until ye get this under control. Last thing ye need is suckin' up more bad energy and makin' worse."
Cravendy scowled as she revisited what Lin had just said. Burning up. Absorbing curses. A worrisome theory forms. "'ey, uh. When did this start? Just casually one day?"
"That's me, a walking bad luck charm." Aislinn muttered as she dressed the new bandages and applied them to Cravendy's back. "Don't worry, I've asked someone to fill in for me on the next job in Coerthas while I try and get this problem sorted." The ointment was cooling and numbing all at the same time and would dull the pain of the burns as the medicinal herbs got to work healing the skin underneath. Aislinn was quiet long enough that it was obvious she was trying to decide how to skirt the question.
She started reassembling the supplies back on the tray. When she rose to her feet, she figured the only way any of this between her and Cravendy was going to work was if she stopped hedging and just be honest. No matter what. "Probably ramped up while we were trying to find the Helm." she said as she took the tray over to the sink.
Cravendy tensed when the ointment is first applied, but breathes a sigh of relief quickly after. "Ah, thanks, already feels better. And the person coverin' for ye...is it that string bean fella I saw ye talkin' with in the library? What's 'e like? Don't often see 'im around. Guy looks painfully serious, the kind to take offense at small talk."
Cravendy was silent for a while after, staring at the partition rod as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. Finally, loudly and suddenly, she groaned. "Shit.”
"Shit! That really pisses me off!" Cravs stood up, shirt still dangling around her arms, and paced around in a circle. "Fuck! Goddamnit. Ahhh, bloody...Lin, why didn't ye say somethin' earlier?!"
Turning away from the basin, Aislinn leaned back against the sink with a faint air of amusement. "Aye, the string bean fella." she waved a hand up through the air. Anything more she might have had to say on the subject was lost in the wake of Cravendy's agitation. Caught up short, her eyes flicked away and then back to her. "Because I didn't know what the problem was. Only that these sudden burning sensations would flare up every so often. And then once I did, it was all said and done. What good would it have done to bring it up to you after the fact except to put you in a state like this?" she gestured to the anxious pacing the Seawolf was currently succumbing to.
Cravendy wanted badly to grab Lin by the shoulders and shake some sense into her, or maybe, just shake her until somehow she got better. Cravs nearly snarled, hearing reason in Lin's words but not having it. She clenched and unclenched her fists, not sure what to do with this sudden anger.
"Even worse, ye die a slow an’ painful death! I like to know when I've messed up so I can do somethin' about it!" Cravs huffed. You could practically see the steam hiss out of her ears.
In the face of Cravendy's anger, Aislinn breathed easy, slow breaths. Matching the Seawolf's temper had never worked for either of them in the past. It was on the tip of her tongue. The correction that if this would kill her, it wouldn't be slow but violent and sudden. She decided that really was besides the point right now. "How did -you- mess up? You weren't there. And what would you do about it?" she asked, trying to get Cravendy to see reason.
"Ye don't understand. This whole shitty business with the Helm...If I didn't suggest raidin' that Garlean ship. If I 'ad the balls to stick around and save my crew. If I didn't summon 'er, then, maybe..." Cravs breathed heavily until she was light-headed, but it worked to calm her down. She fell back down into the couch with a hand over her face to cover her reaction. "...Shit, I don't know. Maybe ye'd find some other stupid way to get yer fill of cursed energy and die anyway. I don't know. Maybe.”
Cravendy spoke, words muffled in her palm. "Lin, I. The fireball. That..." Cravs shook her head. "...doesn't matter. I don't know what I'll do about it, just that I'll do /something/ about it."
Aislinn heaved a sigh and pushed off from the sink, coming to join Cravendy on the couch. "And then you'd be dead, right? Isn't that how it all worked? Honestly, it was only a matter of time. It was always going to catch up to me at some point. The Helm business just ushered it along." she paused. "Which isn't to say that fireball that Wyda hit me with didn't hurt like hell. Hard not to take something like that personally." she said, in a rare attempt to lighten the mood.
She turned to look at Cravendy, mustering a smile. "Look. I'm working on it. A friend and I are tracking down someone in Ishgard that'll know about my problem. And...hopefully what to do about it."
Cravendy puffed up her chest, about to come up with a rebuttal to Lin's answer. As usual, she came up empty, and then similarly let out a tired sigh. "Feh, yer always so logical, even about all heavy shit like this. I....guess that's what I like ye for though. Just - just. I don't know. Leave the stupid to me."
Cravendy would take comfort in the fact that Lin was actively looking for someone to diagnose the issue, though this would linger in the back of her mind for long after. With or without Lin's blessings, she'd find a way to help. This was either going to lead to great success, or equally great disaster.
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tipsydipsydo · 4 years
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「© tipsydipsydo」
These following "Truth or Dare"-Answers/Scenarios are my intellectual property and belongs only to my blog tipsydipsydo.tumblr.com!
I’ll not accept any kind of reposting, stealing or using/editing my work!
That includes reposting my content on other social media platforms too, even when you link me as the original author.
Thank you.
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➸ Blog Navigation
A post where you'll find all my other themed Masterlists of my writings, my personal sideblog, my fic-recs blogs and so much more!
➸ My Networks
This is a list of all the networks where I got accepted as a writer in their community. Please check them out!
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Requests are currently closed!
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Do you wanna play naughty truth or dare with the boys?
...then send me one dirty question for a member and we will see how they will answer~
I bet we will have muuch fun! 💜
(I got this Idea from the lovely @pinkcottonmochi 💗 and her breathtaking filthy and indecent answer to my own request inspired me to try it as well! ...just in the very naughty version, how Tipsy likes it~ Please check her blog out 😈💦) 
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18th May 2021
[Information]: 
Usually I answer the Truth or Dare requests on my phone and post them over the day. To add the links to this masterlist, I need my Laptop or my Ipad and I don’t have them always with me. 
So it could be possible that I’ve finished some new requests but they’re not added to the list until now.  I’ll try my best to update this list on a daily basis but when you’re curious if I answered some new Truth or Dare questions, just look through the newest posts of my blog ;)
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» Gender «
Male Reader: ♂️
Female Reader: ♀
Gender neutral Reader: ☮
» Genres «
Soft Smut: 💋
Hard Smut: 😈
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❥ Daddy? 😈 | ♀ ▸ Truth: Does Jin like being called Daddy?  ▸ Dare: I dare him to finger the reader till she squirts!   ❥ “Erotic Thoughts”💋 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: Are you really one of the most perv out of the boys? You seem so shy... ▸ Dare: If you are, then I dare you to prove it to me, I just can’t believe it!  ❥ Cream filled 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: What gets you hard almost instantly?  ▸ Dare: Stuff me full with your cum, please Daddy!  ❥ Not so pure thoughts  😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: Jin do you prefer to dom or sub?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to eat me out with your sweet sweet lips!  ❥ Aftercare 💋 |  ♂️ ▸ Truth: what’s your favorite type of aftercare you like to give to your sub?
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❥ Is that weird? 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: What’s your weirdest fantasy?  ▸ Dare: Let me suck you off while you facetime someone!  ❥ For the audio 😈 | ☮
▸ Truth: do you feel better jacking off to porn or thoughts of me? I know you watch it quite often, especially when you’re off on tour. ▸ Dare: I dare you to fill up every hole in me. 
❥ Mistress | 😈 | ♀ ▸ Truth: Would you let me eat your ass? ▸ Dare: Get under the table and eat me out while I’m sitting withe the boys.  ❥ Deserved Spanks 😈 | ☮ 
▸ Dare: I dare you to bend me over your studio table and spank me!  ❥ Language Lesson 😈💋 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: Have you ever fantasized about role playing with me?  ▸ Dare: Wake me up by eating me out!  ❥ Erogenous Zones 💋 |  ♂️
▸ Dare: I dare you to let me give you neck kisses!  ❥ Fuck me awake 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: Joonie Baby, what do you think about somnophilia?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to cockwarm me until this game ends!  ❥ Corrupting you...  😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: joonie do you have a corruption kink?  ▸ Dare: i dare you to put your fat cock down my throat!
❥ Home alone 😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: namjoon, how do you get yourself off when im not there?  ❥ More Stamina needed 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: First time we had sex, is my pussy felt that good you’ve never felt that way??  ▸ Dare: i dare u to make it up to me right now in front of them, baby boy i wanna see how long you last!  ❥ Until the other come... 😈 | ♀ 
▸ Dare: Joon, I dare you to go out with a pair of vibrating panties. Both of us, so we can tease each other under the table. Whoever cums first has to go down on the other!
❥ Possession  😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: Hi Daddy do you miss me and can you show me how much?  ▸ Dare: Hm would you ever let any of the other members fuck me? 
❥ Blowjob Addiction  😈 | ♂️
▸ Truth: Do you like seeing me drool all over your cock?
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❥ Restraints 💋😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: have you ever gotten off to the thoughts of me in restraints, completely under your control?  ▸ Dare: please manhandle me!  ❥ Your Voice 😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: Do you have any kinks you haven’t told me about?  ▸ Dare: Do your best to seduce me! ...or not, it’s up to you.   ❥ Exhibitionist 😈 | ♀ 
▸ Dare: I dare you to fuck me in front of the other members!  ❥ So sensitive 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare: I dare you to suck on my Nipples!  ❥ Bangtan’s Whore  😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: What’s your dirtiest Fantasy about your Babygirl?  ▸ Dare: Ruin my ass, Daddy!  ❥ Confession 💋 | ♀
▸ Truth: Be honest, you love getting cuddles from me?  ▸ Dare: Tell me all your dirty fantasies you want to experience with me in that raspy voice of yours!  ❥ Ice Cubes 💋 |  ♂️(trans* male! Reader)
▸ Dare: Yoongi, pop an ice cube in your mouth and go down on me for 30 seconds.
❥ Hand Fetish 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: would you rather have me suck on your neck or your fingers? ▸ Dare: And I dare you to face fuck me!  ❥ Daddy or Sir? 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: do you prefer daddy or sir?  ▸ Dare: choke me! 
❥ Breakfast in bed 😈 | ♂️(trans* male! Reader) 
▸ Dare: I dare you to wake me up by eating me out 
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❥ Cuddles? 💋| ☮
▸ Truth: is that true that you prefer to have a long cuddling sessions with soft kisses over quick make out? ▸ Dare: I dare you to show me the last search on your phone.
❥ Would you? 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: what’s your honest opinion on skinny girls? ▸ Dare: I dare you to ruin yourself with a sex toy.
❥ Sensitive 😈 | ☮
▸ Truth: Are you afraid for me to find out that you like to be ruined? Afraid that I might find out you liked to be called baby boy while you’re completely fucked out over a dildo? ▸ Dare: I dare you to leave this prostate vibrator in for the entire day
❥ Such a tease 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: do you often look at all the photos you took of me, whether it be in lingerie or not when on tour? ▸ Dare: I dare you to remind me of my place. I even have your favorite plug in and that white Lacey lingerie you love so much. I’m all stretched out and prepared for you~  ❥ A half an hour 😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: What’s in your opinion the most attractive on me and why?  ▸ Dare: You have a half an hour to do everything you want with me without taking care~  ❥ Inacceptable 😈 | ☮ 
▸ Dare: I don’t think you can bend me over the table right now, I dare you to try it though.  ❥ Lap Dance 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare: I dare you to make me hard!  ❥ Hold you tight 💋 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: what helps you relax after a long day? ▸ Dare: if you'd like to, then show me how can I help with it?
❥ Watching from a safe distance 😈 | ♀
▸ Dare: play with me in front of the others!  ❥ 5-Minutes Orgasm Challenge 😈 | ♂️
▸ Truth: What's your favorite body part for me to suck on? ▸ Dare: Try to make me orgasm in 5 minutes.
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❥ Body Shot 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: What's your honest, sexual opinion of plus sized girls? ▸ Dare: I dare you to do a body shot off your bff.
❥ Insecurities 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: Have you ever thought of fucking other girls than me? ▸ Dare: Fuck me until I forget my name.
❥ Taking care 😈 | ☮
▸ Truth: Will you let me take care of you? Will you let me take care of your pretty cock and hole? Would you let me completly dominate you?
❥ Confession 😈 | ☮
▸ Truth: Have you ever wrecked yourself with a thick dildo in your room when the members are only a couple rooms away?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to stick a vibrating egg up you and edge yourself. 
❥ Most secret Kink 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader)
▸ Truth: What’s something you’ve wanted to try and put into your ass? ▸ Dare: Tell me your most secret kink and do it to me! 
❥ Strip Tease 😈 | ☮ 
▸ Dare: I dare you to strip for me!  ❥ Make-Out Session 😈 | ☮
▸ Truth: Do you have a crush on someone?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to go him/her and then make out with them!  ❥ Massages 😈 | ♂️
▸ Dare: I dare you to give me a massage!  ❥ Eat that ass!  😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare: I dare you to do something you’ve been fantasizing about doing to me!  ❥ So pure and fertile 😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: What is your favourite way of ruining your partner?  ▸ Dare: I want you to look at me and touch yourself. Show me how much you want to do those things!  ❥ Threesome?  😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: Jimin, if I gave you the chance to choose someone in this room for us to have a threesome with, who would you pick and why?
❥ So shy and nasty 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader)
▸ Truth: who would you rather watch fuck me: taehyung or yoongi? ▸ Dare: i dare you to fuck me until i can’t walk
❥ Against the window 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: Jimin, what do you think about my small boobs? On top of having small ones, I even have freckles on the right one which I'm a little bit conscious about. ▸ Dare: I dare you to breed me like a bitch in heat in front of the floor to ceiling glass window where people from other building can take a peek.  ❥ Public Make-out Sesh 😈 | ♂️
▸ Dare: Jimin, I dare you to play with my nipples!  ❥ Let’s sub together 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare:  So, I dare you to pick a member and let him ruin us both. 
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❥ Fantasies 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: have you ever masturbated to one of my nudes? ▸ Dare: Fuck my ass. hard. 
❥ Cum Painting 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: where do you love to cum? on my ass, face, stomach? in my mouth? or inside me?  ▸ Dare: fuck this pussy up, please daddy.  ❥ X-Position 😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: Would you fuck me in the X-Position?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to rub your dick against my clit for as long you can take it without entering me.  ❥ Love Making 💋 | ♀
▸ Truth: Do you love me? Do you prefer to make love to me or have sex?  ▸ Dare: Fuck my pussy with all the strength you have... until you break me in two... 
❥ Wax Play 😈 | ☮
▸ Truth: What sex act you’ve done that you’ll never do again?  ▸ Dare: Imitate my most flexible sex move!  ❥ Cream Tube 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: What are some of your favourite Toys to use when Daddy is not around?  ▸ Dare: Send me a Video of you using it.  ❥ Kitten 😈 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: do you prefer me wearing a cat tail plug or in cuffs? ▸ Dare: Ruin me! 
❥ Exhibitionist or Voyeur?  😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: do you like watching or being watched? ▸ Dare:  i dare you to cover me in hickies! 
 ❥ First Time 💋 | ♀ ▸ Truth: How would you make my first time special?   ❥ My everything 💋 | ♀ 
▸ Truth: What's your favourite song to dance to with me?  ▸ Dare: Paint me like one of your Austrian girls 
❥ The Butter Concept Photo 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: Why the fuck did you choose this outfit and this pose for the new concept photos?! Why the fuck did you do that?! ▸ Dare: Fuck me. Fuck me in any way you want me, just fucking take care of the problem you've caused! Is that clear?! 
❥ Good Boy? 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) 
▸ Truth: Do you like giving out punishments or rewards better?  ▸ Dare: I dare you to overstimulate me until one of us can take it anymore...
❥ Milking the Bull 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Dare: I dare you to jerk me off until I can't cum anymore from being overstimulated!
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❥ Nipples on Display 😈 | ♀
▸ Dare: JK! I dare you to convince y/n to go braless and shirtless the whole day so you could suck her nipples anytime you wanted ( when shes studying, lying down, cooking etc) Tell me how it went ;)
❥ Bad Joke? (Hybrid AU) 😈 | ♀
▸ Dare: I dare you to fuck your cubs into me!   
❥ Enough? 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: How do you feel about my small perky boobs? Are they satisfying enough for you?  ▸ Dare: Maybe... you could fill me with so much cum until I’m carrying your healthy and beautiful Baby? 
❥ “Morning Sex” 😈 | ♀
▸ Truth: Have you ever fucked y/n while she was asleep (consensual) so hard and it felt so good?
❥ Naughty wife 😈 | ♀
▸ Dare: I dare you to fuck me beside your wife who is sleeping!
❥ Names  😈 | ♀
▸ Truth:  Am I your dirty little slut?
❥ In class 😈 | ♀
▸ Dare: I dare you to finger me in the classroom and them lick your fingers!  ❥ Favourite toy 😈 | ♂️ ▸ Truth: Describe your favorite -special- Toy to me!  ▸ Dare: Bring the toy and let me use it right in front of everyone!
❥ Consent is sexy!  💋 | ♀ ▸ Truth: What’s your favourite part about sex with me?  ▸ Dare: Be a good boy for me and show me how good you can please me!  ❥ Dirtiest Dream  😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) 
▸ Truth: What’s the dirtiest dream you’ve had and would you wanna reenact it?
❥ Unique wax play  😈 | ♀ ▸ Truth: I caught you watching waxing porn, is there something you want to tell me?  ▸ Dare: You See the Wall over there? Show me what those toned arms can do!
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❥ Mirrors 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) [ Yoongi & Taehyung] 
▸ Dare: There is this room that has a mirror on the ceiling. I dare you both to fuck me under it!  ❥ Watch us 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) [ Hoseok & Jungkook]
▸ Truth: Have you ever thought about fucking me with another member? ▸ Dare: Feed Kookie your cum and let me watch!  ❥ Cutest Bunny 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) [ Hoseok & Jungkook]
▸ Truth: If you had to decide who is the cuter Bunny, Jungkook or I? ▸ Dare: I dare you to edge me to the point of tears, in front of the members and call me your bunny or baby boy.
❥ Ride it 😈 | ♂️(transmale! Reader) [Jimin & Jungkook] 
▸ Truth: When I’m not around, do you help each other out?  ▸ Dare: Can I ride your Thighs? 
❥ Wanna join, Tae? 😈 | ♂️[Namjoon & Taehyung]
▸ Truth: How would you feel if Taehyung started playing with me? 
❥ Please destroy me!  😈 | ♀ [Jin & Yoongi & Jungkook]
▸ Truth: Tell me everything you three want to do with me!  ▸ Dare: Please destroy me! 
❥ Tag team me! 😈 | ♀ [Hoseok & Seokjin]
▸ Dare: I dare you two to tag team me!  ❥ Thigh-Riding Contest 😈 | ♀ [Namjoon; Jimin & Jungkook]
▸ Dare: Joon, Jimin and Kook… what about a thigh riding competition? It should get tested which man has the best pair of thighs and knows how to use them. The winner is who made me cum on the fastest way… he can have me for the rest of the evening and fuck me like he desires. The losers have to watch the scenery as a punishment…
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In Total: 85  ToD-Requests! 
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396 notes · View notes
Link
Disney but just the Queer Mood™ Songs, a full Spotify Playlist
Open to updates should anyone notice a song I missed!
Tracklist with specific lyrics that fuck us all up under the cut:
KEY: A general list of which songs resonate with people. The 🏳️‍🌈is for general songs; if you relate to a song but don’t see ur emoji beneath it, send me a message and I’ll add it!
🏳️‍🌈 General Queer Anthem  🌈 Gays specifically have related to this song  ❤️ Gay Men specifically have related to this song  🧡 Lesbians specifically have related to this song 💕 Bisexuals/Pansexuals specifically have related to this song  💜 Asexuals/Ace-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 💚 Aromatics/Aro-spectrum people specifically have related to this song 🤍 Trans people have specifically related to this song 🖤 Nonbinary/Genderqueer people have specifically related to this song  💗 Polyamorous people have specifically related to this song
Know Who You Are - Moana
🏳️‍🌈
They have stolen the heart from inside you But this does not define you  This is not who you are You know who you are...
I Wonder - Sleeping Beauty 
🌈🧡
I wonder, I wonder, I wonder why each little bird has a someone To sing to, sweet things to, A gay little love melody I wonder, I wonder, I wonder if my heart keeps singing, Will my song go winging To someone, who'll find me And bring back a love song to me...
Mother Knows Best - Tangled
🏳️‍🌈 honestly this is just... a general song for some of our shitty relationships to guardian figures...
It's a scary world out there Mother knows best One way or another Something will go wrong, I swear
Me, I'm just your mother, what do I know? I only bathed and changed and nursed you Go ahead and leave me, I deserve it Let me die alone here, be my guest When it's too late You'll see, just wait Mother knows best
Don't forget it You'll regret it...
Dangerous to Dream - Frozen Broadway Production
🏳️‍🌈
I can't be what you expect of me But I'm trying every day with all I do and do not say Here on the edge of the abyss Knowing everything in my whole life has lead to this And so I pull inside myself, close the walls, put up my guard I've practiced every single day for this So why is it so hard?
I can't dwell on what we've lost And our secrecy and silence comes at such a cost
I wish I could tell the truth Show you who's behind the door I wish you knew what all this pantomime And pageantry was for
It's dangerous to wish I could make choices of my own Dangerous to even have that thought I'm dangerous just standing here for everyone to see If I let go of rules who knows how dangerous I'd be?
Reflection - Mulan 
🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤- literally everyone requested this. everyone. so im just copy-pasting the entire lyrics sorry not sorry
Look at me, I will never pass for a perfect bride Or a perfect daughter Can it be I'm not meant to play this part? Now I see that if I were truly to be myself I would break my family's heart
Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection someone I don't know? Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I’ve tried  When will my reflection show who I am inside?
How I pray that a time will come I can free myself From their expectations On that day, I'll discover someway to be myself And to make my family proud They want a docile lamb No one knows who I am Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? Must I pretend that I'm Someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? When will my reflection show Who I am inside?
Everything I Ever Thought I Knew - Tangled: The Series
🏳️‍🌈 when u realize u might not be straight lol
I thought no one could love me And how could I have known? I was wrong, oh so wrong
Everything I ever thought I knew Where I've been, where I'm going Everything I counted on turned out to be untrue Could've guessed, should've known, now I do
If none of it was really me then who am I supposed to be?
I guess I'm someone else now I wonder who I am
God Help the Outcasts - Hunchback of Notre Dame
🏳️‍🌈...yeah. yeah
Yes, I know I'm just an outcast I shouldn't speak to You Still, I see Your face and wonder Were You once an outcast, too?
God help the outcasts, hungry from birth Show them the mercy they don't find on Earth God help my people, they look to You, still God help the outcasts or nobody will
I ask for nothing, I can get by But I know so many less lucky than I Please help my people, the poor and downtrod I thought we all were the children of God
Belle (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast
🌈 when a cishet thinks ur interested smh
Madame Gaston! Can't you just see it? Madame Gaston! His little wife No, sir! Not me! I guarantee it I want much more than this provincial life!
I want adventure in the great wide somewhere I want it more than I can tell And for once it might be grand To have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned...
Part of Your World - The Little Mermaid
🌈 SO many people requested this one guys it’s not even funny
Wandering free, wish I could be Part of that world
Betcha on land, they understand Bet they don't reprimand their daughters Bright young women, sick of swimming Ready to stand
When's it my turn? Wouldn't I love, Love to explore that shore up above?
One Jump Ahead (Reprise) - Aladdin
🏳️‍🌈
Riff-raff, street rat I don't buy that If only they'd look closer
Would they see a poor boy? No, siree They'd find out There's so much more to me...
Proud of Your Boy - Aladdin Broadway Production 
🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍
That I've been one rotten kid Some son, some pride and some joy But I'll get over these lousin' up Messin' up, screwin' up times...
Water flows under the bridge Let it pass, let it go There's no good reason that you should believe me Not yet, I know, but
Someday and soon I'll make you proud of your boy Though I can't make myself taller Or smarter or handsome or wise I'll do my best, what else can I do? Since I wasn't born perfect like Dad or you...
Someone’s Waiting for You - The Rescuers
🏳️‍🌈
Be brave, little one Make a wish for each sad little tear Hold your head up though no one is near Someone's waiting for you
Always keep a little prayer in your pocket And you're sure to see the light Soon there'll be joy and happiness And your little world will be bright
Have faith, little one Til your hopes and your wishes come true
Stick to the Status Quo - High School Musical 
🏳️‍🌈 🌈 YOU ALL KNOW EXACTLY WHY THIS IS HERE
No, no, no, stick to the stuff you know It is better by far to keep things as they are Don't mess with the flow, no no Stick to the status quo
Into the Unknown - Frozen 2
🏳️‍🌈
I can hear you, but I won't Some look for trouble while others don't There's a thousand reasons I should go about my day And ignore your whispers which I wish would go away
I've had my adventure, I don't need something new I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you
Or are you someone out there who's a little bit like me? Who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be? Every day's a little harder as I feel my power grow Don't you know there's part of me that longs to go
Where are you going? Don't leave me alone How do I follow you Into the unknown?
Go the Distance - Hercules 
🏳️‍🌈
I have often dreamed of a far off place Where a great, warm welcome will be waiting for me
And a voice keeps saying This is where I'm meant to be
I am on my way, I can go the distance I don't care how far, somehow I'll be strong I know every mile will be worth my while I would go most anywhere to find where I belong
Tomorrow - Annie
🏳️‍🌈 - betcha didnt know disney had an annie movie did u
The sun will come out tomorrow Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow There'll be sun
When I'm stuck in a day that's gray and lonely, I just stick out my chin and grin and say, oh, The sun’ll come out tomorrow So you gotta hang on til tomorrow, come what may...
Learn Me Right - Brave
🏳️‍🌈💜💚
Though I may speak some tongue of old Or even spit out some holy word I have no strength with which to speak When you sit me down and see I’m weak
We will run and scream you will dance with me We'll fulfill our dreams, and we'll be free We will be who we are, and they’ll heal our scars Sadness will be far away...
Strange Sight - Tinkerbell and the Legend of the Neverbeast 
🏳️‍🌈
You stand in the light You're wrong, but you're right And my heart's beating wildly Strange how I'm scared but delighted Afraid, but excited too
I will understand you Strange how I'm drawn to the danger I reach out my hand to you
If you're caught in the shadows and turned all around Lost in the darkness, you will be found If you hear my voice, follow the sound Cause I'm here to guide you home... 
I Don’t Dance - High School Musical 2 
🌈 ❤️ 💕 okay so if you weren’t here for the high school musical tumblr revival you may be confused but listen... it’s about being mlm... 
Step up to the plate, start swinging
I wanna play ball Now that’s all, this is what I do It ain’t no dance that you can show me
I’ve got what it takes playin’ my game So you best skin that pitch you gonna throw me, yeah I’ll show you how I swing
I can prove it to you ‘til you know it’s true Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too You’re talking a lot, show me what you got Stop, swing!
Kiss the Girl - cover of The Little Mermaid 
this version is sung by a girl so 🧡💕
There you see her, sitting there across the way She don't got a lot to say but there's something about her And you don't know why, but you're dying to try You wanna kiss the girl
Yes, you want her Look at her, you know you do It's possible she want you too There is one way to ask her...
Can You Feel the Love Tonight - The Lion King 
🏳️‍🌈
An enchanted moment And it sees me through It's enough for this restless warrior Just to be with you
There's a time for everyone if they only learn That the twisting kaleidoscope moves us all in turn There's a rhyme and reason to the wild outdoors When the heart of this star-crossed voyager Beats in time with yours
And can you feel the love tonight? It is where we are It's enough for this wide-eyed wanderer That we got this far And can you feel the love tonight? How it's laid to rest It's enough to make kings and vagabonds Believe the very best
Beauty and the Beast - Beauty and the Beast 
🏳️‍🌈- a lot of queer people tend to empathize with “beastly” characters so we all latched the fuck onto this movie huh
Just a little change, small to say the least Both a little scared, neither one prepared
Ever just the same, ever a surprise Ever as before, ever just as sure As the sun will rise
Tale as old as time, tune as old as song Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change Learning you were wrong...
Healing Incantation - Tangled 
🏳️‍🌈🤍🖤
Heal what has been hurt Change the fates' design Save what has been lost Bring back what once was mine
So Close - Enchanted 
🏳️‍🌈🌈
A life goes by, romantic dreams will stop So I bid mine goodbye and never knew So close was waiting waiting here with you And now, forever, I know All that I wanted to hold you so close
Oh, how could I face the faceless days If I should lose you now?
So close to reaching that famous happy end Almost believing this one's not pretend Let’s go on dreaming though we know we are So close, so close, and still So far...
If Only - Descendants
🏳️‍🌈🌈
A million thoughts in my head Should I let my heart keep listening? Cause up 'til now, I've walked the line Nothing lost but something missing I can't decide what's wrong, what's right Which way should I go?
Every step, every word With every hour I'm feeling in To something new, something brave To someone I've never been
Will you still be with me When the magic's all run out?
If only I knew what my heart was telling me Don't know what I'm feeling Is this just a dream? If only I could read the signs in front of me I could find the way to who I'm meant to be
Wherever You Are - Pooh’s Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin 
🏳️‍🌈- out of context could be interpreted as romantic, esp since the credits version is a duet (🌈 💕) but the original context is friendship so honestly it’s very 💜💚
I'm out here in the dark, all alone and wide awake Come and find me I'm empty and I'm cold, and my heart's about to break Come and find me
I need you to come here and find me Cause without you, I'm totally lost I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far I can only dream of you
But when the morning comes and the sun begins to rise, I will lose you Because it’s just a dream, when I open up my eyes, I will lose you
I used to believe in forever, But forever is too good to be true I've hung a wish on every star It hasn't done much good so far
I don't know what else to do Except to try to dream of you And wonder, if you're dreaming too Wherever you are
I Won’t Say (I’m In Love) - Hercules
🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕
If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that
Who d'you think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and heaven to ya Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through ya Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you feel And who you're thinking of
I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!" Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling
This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love
At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love
Endless Night - The Lion King Broadway Production 
🏳️‍🌈🤍 🖤 
Where has the starlight gone? Dark is the day How can I find my way home? Home is an empty dream, lost to the night Father, I feel so alone
When will the dawning break, oh, endless night Sleepless I dream of the day
I know that the night must end And that the sun will rise I know that the clouds must clear And that the sun will shine
Set Yourself Free - Tangled: The Series 
🏳️‍🌈🤍
There's much more inside of you than anyone can see And now the choice is yours Life waits beyond the doors So step on through, the time has come And only you can set yourself free!
No one else can tell you what to do Or who to be! No one gets to say if you will stay or go
Look inside your heart and find the key... And set yourself free!
Bound up by your worries Trapped by your mistakes Forced to play a role you never chose Why not test your limits? You've got what it takes Let it out and follow where it goes
No more letting someone else define you to a "T" You know that you are strong You've known it all along So seize the day, let down your hair You’ll find a way to set yourself free!
So look to the horizon Open up your wings! Fly away to find your destiny... And set yourself free!
Speechless - Aladdin 2019 Remake 
🏳️‍🌈 ALL OF US ALL OF US
Here comes a wave meant to wash me away A tide that is taking me under
Cause I'll breathe when they try to suffocate me! Don't you underestimate me! Cause I know that I won't go speechless!
Written in stone, every rule, every word Centuries old and unbending "Stay in your place, better seen and not heard," Well, now that story is ending
Try to lock me in this cage! I won't just lay me down and die! I will take these broken wings And watch me burn across the sky!
I’m Still Here (Jim’s Theme) - Treasure Planet
🏳️‍🌈❤️🤍
I am a question to the world Not an answer to be heard Or a moment that's held in your arms
You don't know me And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what do you think you'd understand I'm a boy - No, I'm a man You can't take me and throw me away And how can you learn what's never shown Yeah, you stand here on your own They don't know me, cause I’m not here 
And I want to tell you who I am Can you help me be a man They can't break me As long as I know who I am
They can't tell me who to be 'Cause I'm not what they see Yeah, the world is still sleepin' While I keep on dreaming for me And their words are just whispers and lies That I'll never believe!
Crossing the Line - cover of Tangled: the Series 
🏳️‍🌈 🧡 tfw when u are DONE with that fuckin closet 
This has to stop now This thing where you think that you've been my friend And don't even hear how you condescend The way you've always done
How I've tried to jump that great divide! But I've never got the chances you were given You don't know how much I've been denied Well, I'm not being patient anymore
I'm crossing the line! And I'm done holding back So look out, clear the track, it's my turn! I'm taking what's mine Every drop, every smidge If I'm burning a bridge, let it burn! But I'm crossing the line...
Let it Go - Frozen 
🏳️‍🌈 listen. i do not have to explain this one. you all know exactly why it’s here. we were all tiny gays in 2013 losing our shit in the theater for no discernable reason why. we know
Couldn't keep it in, Heaven knows I tried
Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know!
Let it go! Let it go! Turn away and slam the door! I don't care what they're going to say!
It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all!
No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free!
I'm never going back, the past is in the past!
Let it go! Let it go! And I'll rise like the break of dawn Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone!
This is Me - Camp Rock 
🏳️‍🌈 🧡 💕 🤍
I've always been the kind of girl that hid my face So afraid to tell the world what I've got to say But I have this dream right inside of me I'm gonna let it show it's time To let you know It's to let you know
Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark? To dream about a life where you're the shining star
This is real, this is me I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, now Gonna let the light shine on me Now I've found who I am there's no way to hold it in No more hiding who I wanna be...
Breaking Free - High School Musical 
🏳️‍🌈 🖤
You know the world can see us In a way that's different than who we are Creating space between us 'Till we're separate hearts But your faith it gives me strength Strength to believe
Soarin, flyin There’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach If we’re trying, yeah we’re breaking free  We’re running, climbin  To get to the place, to be all that we can be  Now’s the time, so we’re breaking free
True To Your Heart - Mulan 
🏳️‍🌈 🌈
Baby, I knew at once that you were meant for me Deep in my soul, I know that I'm your destiny Though you're unsure Why fight the tide Don't think so much Let your heart decide
True to your heart You must be true to your heart That's when the heavens'll part And, baby, shower you with my love Open your eyes Your heart can tell you no lies And when you're true to your heart I know it's gonna lead you straight to me
Someone ya know is on your side can set you free I can do that for you if you believe in me Why second guess what feels so right Just trust your heart And you'll see the light
Never Knew I Needed - The Princess and the Frog 
🏳️‍🌈 🌈 💕
For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I have Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing...
My accidental happily ever after The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter
You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You'd be the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear I need you here always
Colors of the Wind - Pocahontas 
🏳️‍🌈 - colors.... rainbows.... yea
How can there be so much that you don't know? You don't know...
You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You'll learn things you never knew, you never knew
How high will the sycamore grow If you cut it down, then you'll never know And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon For whether we are white or copper skinned We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains We need to paint with all the colors of the wind...
I See the Light - Tangled 
🏳️‍🌈 🌈 - you would not BELIEVE how many of y’all requested this one
Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight Now I'm here, suddenly I see Standing here, it's all so clear I'm where I'm meant to be
Now she's here shining in the starlight Now she's here, suddenly I know If she's here it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go
And at last I see the light And it's like the fog has lifted And at last I see the light And it's like the sky is new And it's warm and real and bright And the world has somehow shifted
All at once, everything looks different Now that I see you
Strangers Like Me - Tarzan 
🏳️‍🌈 🤍 🖤- that moment when u find another queer person and ur like “holy shit”
I can see there's so much to learn It's all so close and yet so far I see myself as people see me Oh, I just know there's something bigger out there
Come with me now to see my world Where there's beauty beyond your dreams Can you feel the things I feel Right now, with you Take my hand There's a world I need to know...
Why Should I Worry? - Oliver & Company 
🏳️‍🌈- we’re queer, we’re here, get used to it 
Why should I worry? Why should I care? I may not have a dime But I got street savoir-faire Why should I worry? Why should I care? It's just be-bopulation And I got street savoir-faire
Why should I worry? Why should I care? And even when I crossed that line I got street savoir-faire
Welcome - Brother Bear 
🏳️‍🌈 pride parade amirite
Everyone's invited This is how we live We are here for each other, happy to give All we have we share And all of us we care
There's a bond between us nobody can explain It's a celebration of life We see our friends again I'll be there for you I know you'll be there for me, too So come on!
This has to be the most beautiful The most peaceful place I've ever been to It's nothing like I've never seen before When I think how far I've come I can't believe it And yet I see it In them I see family I see the way we used to be...
The Great Divide - Tinkerbell and the Secret of the Wings
🏳️‍🌈
I'm on your side Let's take this ride And together we're facing the world Doing things nobody's done before And the great divide doesn’t seem so wide anymore
With You by My Side - Tangled: the Series 
💗 - tangled the series was so close to being canon polyam istg
Now; now more than ever We must stick together united
If we're destined to head in our own different ways Let's make the most of these sweet final days Why not go out in a glorious blaze
There's nothing I couldn't do Not with you by my side What in the world would I do Without you by my side...
Love Will Find a Way - The Lion King 2: Simba’s Pride
🏳️‍🌈 🌈
In a perfect world One we've never known We would never need to face the world alone They can have the world We'll create our own I may not be brave or strong or smart But somewhere in my secret heart
And if only they could feel it too The happiness I feel with you
Like dark turning into day Somehow we'll come through Now that I've found you Love will find a way I know love will find a way
Space Between - Descendants 2
🧡 never have i ever seen gays flock to a song faster
And you can find me in the space between Where two worlds come to meet I'll never be out of reach Cause you're a part of me so you can find me in the space between You'll never be alone No matter where you go We can meet in the space between
Even if we're worlds apart You're still in my heart It will always be you and me, yeah
If I Never Knew You - Pocahontas
🏳️‍🌈🌈
And if I never held you I would never have a clue How at last I'd find in you The missing part of me...
In this world so full of fear Full of rage and lies I can see the truth so clear In your eyes So dry your eyes
If I never knew you I'd be safe but half as real Never knowing I could feel A love so strong and true
I thought our love would be so beautiful  Somehow we'd make the whole world bright I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night But still my heart is saying we were right
I’d Give Anything - Tangled: the Series 
🧡 rapunzel’s sad breakup song
So if you find that you're in darkness or despair Though you won't turn to me please know I'll be right there Name any sacrifice, I'll pay the price that's due Cause I'd give anything for you Yes, I'd give anything to relive everything we knew...
Someday - Hunchback of Notre Dame 
🏳️‍🌈
I used to believe In the days I was naïve That I'd live to see A day of justice dawn And though I will die Long before that morning comes I'll die while believing still It will come when I am gone
Someday, when we are wiser When the world's older, when we have learned I pray someday we may yet live To live and let live
Someday, these dreams will all be real Till then we'll wish upon the moon Change will come, one day Someday soon... 
No One Is Alone - Into the Woods 
🏳️‍🌈
Mother cannot guide you, now your on your own. Only me beside you, still you're not alone. No one is alone. Truly, no one is alone…
People make mistakes Holding to their own  Thinking they’re alone 
Someone is on your side, someone else is not  While we’re seeing our side, maybe we forgot  They are not alone, no one is alone...
I Am Moana (Song of the Ancestors) - Moana
🏳️‍🌈 🤍 - it’s about the self-acceptance binch
Sometimes, the world seems against you The journey may leave a scar But scars can heal and reveal just Where you are
The people you love will change you The things you have learned will guide you And nothing on Earth can silence The quiet voice still inside you
I've delivered us to where we are I have journeyed farther I am everything I've learned and more Still it calls me
And the call isn't out there at all, it's inside me! It's like the tide, always falling and rising I will carry you here in my heart, you remind me That come what may I know the way
Show Yourself - Frozen 2 
🏳️‍🌈 - this one was claimed immediately by the queer community and we all have a stake in it but i do want to point out that i got this from a LOT of 🤍 🖤 💜 💚
I have always been a fortress Cold secrets deep inside You have secrets too But you don't have to hide
I've never felt so certain All my life, I've been torn But I'm here for a reason Could it be the reason I was born? I have always been so different Normal rules did not apply Is this the day? Are you the way I finally find out why?
Oh, show yourself Let me see who you are... Come to me now Open your door Don't make me wait One moment more!
(Come, my darling, homeward bound) I am found!
Transformation / Beauty and the Beast (Reprise) - Beauty and the Beast Broadway Production 
🏳️‍🌈
We are home, we are where we shall be forever  Trust in me, for you know I won’t run away from today This is all that I need, and all that I need to say  Don’t you know how you’ve changed me? Strange how I finally see  I found home, you’re my home, stay with me... 
Finale / Let it Go - Frozen Broadway Production 
🏳️‍🌈 this makes me bawl so it gets finale
There’s so much I longed to say Then say it all, beginning with today It’s like a dream I thought could never be  Elsa, you’re free 
Here we stand in the light of day Let the sun shine on 
I take this warmth within and send it up above Goodbye to dark and fear, let’s fill this world with light and love And here surrounded by a family at least  We’re never going back, the past is in the past 
Let our true love go  Let it go!
66 notes · View notes
xserpentlife · 4 years
Text
Care *Smut*
Requested: Kinda, mentioned this yesterday, started as a request but when elsewhere. Orig Request here: Hey hun ease can I have a ddlg little girl smut imagine with sweetpea or fp jones not bothered which where I have been a brat all day and he punishes me thanks so much xx.
A/N: This was created and I accidently went somewhere other than the request, I am also using this as one of the bingo spots on my card: Aftercare. 
Warnings: Smut
Word Count: 2339
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There was something off with you today and Sweet Pea could tell from the start. First it was waking you up, you didn’t want to, which was not much different than usual, however, this time you actually cried and Pea didn’t know what to do. You weren’t in pain, you weren’t going through anything really. He just held you while you cried and then eventually got you dressed and to school.
Finally at school when pulling in the drive you began to calm down.
“Wanna tell me what that was about?”
“I dunno, Daddy.”
Another odd thing to add to the list for the day. You were his little girl, mostly only in bed though, and once in a while after play when you slipped into little space. It was very, very odd and concerned him that you were calling him daddy in a non sexual manner while at school. You were often a brat in public, using daddy to turn him on, but this was entirely different.
“Baby girl talk to me”
“Gotta school daddy”
“Be a good girl in class and don’t say anything okay, I’ll see you during free hour”
“Okay daddy” you kissed him on the cheek something you always did while in little space
He was afraid you’d get found out, your kink and little space would be exposed and it would put you in even more of a rut. See no one really knew of yours and Peas' relationship except one or two people. You keep it secret, it is deeply personal. You went through a lot of trauma, falling into little space is your way of dealing with stress and hard times, he could usually make it better pretty quick but this time he had no idea why you fell into little space so hard and so quick. I mean you had both been busy the past few days. Not seeing much of each other than in passing and at night when falling asleep, but you never hid anything from him, and you hadn’t mentioned anything bad at all, so the fact you slipped without him knowing or detecting it made him so upset with himself. He knew he shouldn’t have sent you into class, but you had a test you absolutely could not miss and he was hoping you’d be okay alone. He has learned that when in little space you cling to him like a bear. Turning to your little side is your safe space, but without Pea there would be none of that at all. He is like the base to your tower.
The class could not have ended faster for him, he needed to see you and make sure you were all right. He always waited for you by the lockers. He watched and waited but hadn’t found you. He walked to your classroom and saw the teacher yelling at you. He walked in, not caring about anything in the world, plus he didn’t have this teacher for math. But saw you crying eyes watering red and puffy.
“What the fuck is going on”
“None of your business son, you can’t just barge in my classroom like that”
“I can damn well barge in here when your yelling and up in a girls face for no goddamn reason sir, plus no one fucking talks to my girlfriend like that I don’t care if you’re her teacher or not. You can speak to her on monday” Pea dragged you out of the room, grabbing your hand in the process. Tears still streaming down your face he brought you to a corner in the rec room, thankfully no one was in there, because your friends are usually the only ones there and they were all in class except fangs, but he was with Kevin. All you did was cry as he sat you down, no words coming out of your mouth. He loved you so goddamn much and seeing you cry was always a struggle for him.
“Princess you gotta talk to me or I can’t fix it or at least try to make it better” You shook your head pouting up at him
“Baby c’mon please whyd id he yell at you”
“Said… said i was bad at math and, and then he...” you started balling again.
“He got bad at me cause I got done early and it was so bad, but he, he got mad also cause I got done early and drew on my paper. I don’t get it daddy you always say I can draw!”
“Baby you didn’t do anything wrong”
“He… he yelled yes I did daddy he got mad. Was my drawing not good daddy”
“Im sure it was perfect aby, but sometimes there are things we just can’t draw on”
“Wanted to color but no pages, thought I could make a pretty picture but…” You cried one again Fangs walking into the room Pea glancing back at him.
Fangs found out you had a little space when he had walked into the trailer one day completely beat up and you were coloring on the floor while pea ran to the store.
*Flashback*
“Pea I need… Y/N?” HE saw you sitting on the floor onesie on coloring away on a giant page.
“Hi Fangsy, come color, Fangsy color, pleaseeeeeee”
“Y/N I need you to patch me up”
“I, Uh… fangsy hurt?
“Yeah, can you get me ice and a bandage?”
“Mhm, '' you nodded walking over to the freezer, grabbing the ice before heading to the bathroom and bringing it all back over to fangs. You leaned down pacci hanging from your shirt.
Pea walked in then starting fangs down when he walked through the door.
“What the fuck Fangs!”
“Sorry bro im hurt, I just walked in I didn’t”
“Don't yell daddy! Fangsy hurts”
“Sorry baby girl, can you go into the bedroom and i'll be in, in a minuted”
“You nodded kissing him before walking off to the bedroom” That was the night Fangs learned about your little space. It only made sense he would find out. Him and Pea were always together, so that means you are always there too. SOmetimes you were good at suppressing it, and hiding it but other times it wasn’t so easy. Fangs didn’t necessarily get it at least not at first, neither did pea, but they both supported and were there for you entirely . Fangs was a good support system and closest to Pea, meaning when Pea couldn’t be there, he was.
*end flashback*
“Aww pretty lady why you crying” If pea couldn't calm you down, fangs would come in making you laugh and forget about it.
“Bruce didn’t like my picture”
“Well that means an old man is just an ass hat, I bet your picture was absolutely stunning. Just like its creator, a true artist”
“I not that good”
“Mhm you sure are, i think you should draw me a picture for my apartment, could you do that?”
“Mhm” you nodded your head smiling. Fangs got you distracted long enough to stop crying and calm down some.
“Baby girl yo okay now” you nodded your head slightly still clinging onto him “baby we gotta get to class…”
“Wanna go home”
“Baby we..”
“Want home Pea, need you… please, wanna forget” he knew exactly what it meant. Sometimes you wanted to color, have food made for you, a bath run with pea in it, and other times you wanted him and only him, not just cuddling you want more.
“Okay, let’s go...” He didn’t hesitate, he knew what you needed. In that moment he knew everything.
He tried letting you go to stand up but you didn’t want to. You clung onto him like a bear in the wild. You loved Pea, you needed Pea in more ways than you could even explain. Fangs grabbed the keys from his pocked and unlocked the truck as Pea placed you in.
“Thanks bro”
“She gonna be okay”
“Mhm she’ll be fine just needs some time today to decompress”
“Okay, I know you got her but call if you need anything, and i'll cover for you in class”
“Always bro, and thanks again”
You got to his trailer as he led you to the bedroom sitting you down slowly. He grabbed the silk ties from the bottom drawer slowly kissing along you wrists as he tied them together.
“Baby are you sure”
“Yes daddy want you”
“Okay Princess but you know your safe word right?”
“Mhm..”
“Can you tell me?”
“Avacadoooo” He chuckled to himself lightly remembering back ot the time that you created the safeword. You thought it was so funny because the first time you used it he wasn’t hurting you at all, but you were so overpleasured you couldn’t go on, out you screamed avacadooooo as both you and him simalteanosly ignished. Its one of his funnies and best memories of the two of you.
By now, the amount of times you had been together he could read you like a book. The emaming of every movement the change in tone of every breath sound, he knew ever bit and piece of you, and your life and you wouldn’t have it any other way”
“Good girl” he began tying your hands to the bedpost.
“Want you to fuck me hard daddy, wnat to hurt, want to forget” when you were so subby that you slipped into little space forhours you wouldn’t always know what you needed or wanted. Pea knew you didn’t need to be fucked you needed love.
“You ready baby”
“Yes daddy”
You felt his body press lightly onto your own, he began kissing you, heading up to your neck, probably one of your weakest spots.
“Daddy not fair, you have your clothes on”
“Wanna take them off princess” You pouted up at him, you couldn’t you were tied.
“Well guess they stay on” You began to whimper eyes filling slightly
“Hey hey princess no crying tonight okay, want you happy”
“Always happy with you daddy” He took of his clothes bringing his body to yours once again. His cock already hard. You atche dhim come up to you, his lips ghosting over your own. HIs tip tickled over your entrance as you whimpered for more. He began thrusting slow short at first, then deeper as he went. The quicker they got the more you moaned. His hand found its way up to your neck, a firm grip, your breath halting for a moment. The feeling arousing you to no end. You felt your orgasm building.
“You like that princess”
“Yes daddy” he untied your wrists with a pull, your arms making there way around his neck as he thrusted into you . Head in the crook of his neck you moaned out.
“Daddy I can’t”
“Gonna cum for me princess”
“Mhm, yes fuck daddy”
“Fuck.” He cried out. CUmming  as you came, eyes rolling back into your head he watched you come undone. YOu let out a loud moan of his name, as you felt his hand tighten by accident a second wave of pleasure passed through the both of you. He kissed you on the lips as he laid down next to you, pulling you to his chest. Your breathing remained heavy, your orgasm being one of the stronger ones you've had with pea.
“I didn’t hurt you did I?” Worry overcame him. He never wanted to hurt you. He never wanted to be that guy. He always made sure to protect you, always made sure to make sure that you were okay.
“No you didn’t daddy” you smiled, your eyes fluttering shut as his lips pressed to your forehead.
“I’m gonna run your bath and get you water okay” being with someone for so long helped you realize what they needed after certain things. For you water was number one. A bath always comes second due to the ties and your skin. Luckli silk helped you not get hurt, but it still could leave marks especially with how hard you pull to get away.
He came back and moved the blanket off you watching his release drip out of you. He picked you up placing you in the warm water, before slipping in behind you. You whimpered as you felt him lean you back against him, your hands touching the water and the little marks stinging. It was not a pain you didn’t like. It was nothing that Pea did, everything he did was perfect, but it always made him upset.
“Baby i’m”
“No… don’t apologize, I needed it, thankyou” He leaned down kissing your shoulder blade. You both sat in the water till it became colder. Your eyes began to get heavy. He stepped out watching you shiver from the cold air, as his body heat was removed from your skin. He helped you stand up legs still weak from the session. He grabbed your lotion and helped you over to the bed to lay you down and apply it to you.
“Wanna sleep”
“No baby, not yet or at least lay down so I can cover you in your lotion okay” You laid down, as his hands casted their way over your skin you began to fall asleep, him talking as you closed your eyes. The blanket soon made its way over you, his body coming to touch your back, “I love you” You felt a kiss to your head before you fell into a sweet darkness. Waking up the next day you were better than you had been a while. You thanked him with morning kisses, getting dressed and ready for the day as you both went to Pops for breakfast. He was your rock, your night, the light in the darkness you felt, and he’d always be there.
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Can you do a little text with your opinion about the Volturi members? What you like and dislike, they personality, they story... Would be interesting! Kissessss and have a great day! 💜
Imma have a little fun and throw the very young me into the mix to. Let's see child me vs adult me's opinions on the Volturiiii.
Fun fact: I wasn't team Volturi until I was like fifteen. Before that I was team edward... I don't want to talk about that 🤔😒
Also I'm a sucker for villains. If it isn't obvious already, I like the villains more than the heroes. (We all love a bad boy though, don't we?--- TIK TOK NOW IS NOT THE TIMEE.)
So everything i say is just my opinion and should be taken just as that.
Aro: Younger me was like "this...is a terrible person. There really is no need to expand on this." However adult me has been like "GUYS this guy is possibly the SCARIEST character. This man rips off heads AND SMILES ABOUT IT." He gives me child snatcher vibes (from the movies in particular). I thoroughly enjoy the power hungry persona. He's really fitting to be the puppeteer behind the Volturi. Even if he makes it seem it's a group effort with himself, Marcus and Caius. Realistically, Aro gets what he wants and isn't afraid to do what it takes to get it...sorry Didyme. What's even darker about it, WHICH I LOVE, is that he isn't heartless. Smeyer wrote that Aro genuinely loved his sister. It's all good to have a character that's a evil heartless monster but what's more terrifying to me is the ability for someone to do evil despite their love and emotions. It doesn't hold them back and that's what I find particularly frightening now that child me didn't comprehend. Micheal Sheen, from what I remember of his interview years ago, played on the idea that vampires of Aro's age kinda begin to lose their mind. Which, hell freaking yes. However there is one thing I hate for Aro's character that happened in the movies. Breaking dawn part 2. That fucking laugh. Don't get me wrong, hilarious. I can't not laugh but for his character I felt it was too 'hey hey I'm a crazy man hehe'. It was a but too much, even for an eccentric Aro. However, I'm not to mad at it because again, it was funny to watch. I thoroughly enjoy the ‘friendship’ Aro and Carlisle share and i love that it is ‘maintained’ throughout the books. I think it’s just a really nice detail. (I love lore. I am a sucker for it.) The one thing that didnt sit right with me is Aro marrying someone so that he wasnt the alone one whilst his co-leaders were very much in love? Was a little off for me but i suppose that just adds to the character.
Caius: child me would shrink into the seat because what did I do to this man? High key still think I wouldn't want to be Caius' child because imagine doing something wrong and you get that glare? No thank you! Scary angry man. As an adult... "He's an angry boi but...DAYUM WHY IS HE SUDDENLY SO HOT?" Just...don't get angry with me. You'll get annoying real quick and you're too pretty for that. I enjoy the taking-no-shit attitude he has but felt it could have been a little more prominent in BDP2 where Aro asks if Caius' is challenging him. I full believe Caius to an extend would be like "yes, yes I am. Don't be an idiot Aro. Use that braincell!" Which is why I adore the meme vibes I see every now and then of Caius hating Carlisle because why does Aro love that blonde so much? CAIUS HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT LOYAL-- Anyways, I can totally get why Aro wants him on his team. Caius is so angry and has so much hatred that he’s a good asset to the coven, even if not having a special ability.I do find it hard to imagine that Caius is a century older than Aro though. Although I cant picture him over forty years old lol. Although i do personally enjoy the whole Caius x Athenodora route. IT’S TRUE LOVE! Okay so maybe thats a little dramatic but its better than Aro’s lmao.
Marcus: movie Marcus is absolutely not nineteen years old and that's just a fact. If anything, he's the forty year old one lmao. Child me couldn't care about this man. He was the man who said nothing and slumped on a throne. That was Marcus. That was his character summed up. Then adult me rolled in and OMG NO DON'T DO THIS TO THIS SWEET MAN. LET HIM BE IN LOVE. As an adult i definitely became more attached. I feel like i was too young back then to get why Marcus was in the Volturi. He seemed very out of place and like a filler co-leader more than anything. However as i’ve gotten older (and written for him), I recognised that's the point. That’s Marcus’ evident grief. He isn’t there by choice and losing Didyme caused him to fall out of line with the coven. He’s lost point or purpose. Almost like its become meaningless because the love of his life was gone and he couldn't save her.So what was the aims of the Volturi to protect vampire kind when they couldn’t protect their own? He couldnt protect her. I had never heard of anything like bond identification and once i had- i was shook, like it became clear why he had been so necessary in the first place. That really is handy to understand everyones bonds in a coven, he could direct Chelsea and the two alone could destroy covens by bonds alone. Marcus makes the Volturi more realistic in a lot of ways. Like in a family, there is the happy times, goofy people like Felix, the twins representing a close bond. Afton and Chelsea, love that cant be divided. The list really goes on. Marcus represents love and heartbreak, pain, loss grief, the sad moments every family goes through. In that way he makes the coven seem less invincible, a group of people who at the end of the day, have their own weaknesses and immortality doesn’t mean a perfect existence. Especially when, in my opinion, Bella fantasized about immortality and how perfect it would be. Even after her change, she waited for her happy ending because that was somehow guaranteed in some level. Which in the end, she got but not everyone gets that happy ending we all want. I also personally think Marcus is the most feeling of the Volturi, despite being apathetic. A result of heartbreak. It’s shown he can still feel more in his own ways when he voted against Renesmee being destroyed. Furthermore, he advocated that vampire hybrids were a lot like vampires. He made that relation openly before anyone. Its almost as though losing Didyme helped him value a life?
Jane and Alec: Child me thought these two were  badass...and that still remains in my adult life. It’s always been uncomfortable to me that someone so young is so sadistic and powerful. Jane is the older twin with the ability of pain illusion...yikes. Her ability was evident in her human life along with Alec’s. His gift is sensory deprivation and these two were my favourites in the whole Saga. Still kind of are if im honest. I thoroughly enjoy the twins backstory. It has the most detail. I have a tag for the twins. Canon!twins is the tag for the twins in their book age. Unless this tag is present, the twins have been aged up :). They are very much canon but I put a bit more emphasis on tantrums. If they get angry, they both have tantrums. So whilst (unless tagged) they aren't children they can be very childish and these tantrums are pretty deadly. They’re also very possessive? I dont even know if thats the right word i’m looking for in all honesty. Lets say they get very attached if they like you. These two are probably the most secluded out of the whole Volturi.
Felix: Felix! High ranking guard due to strength and speed. I am a major supporter of Felix being a gladiator when he was human. He as a lighter grey cloak meaning he isn’t as high ranked but is so good at what he does that he’s been kept for centuries...and a lot of them. Personality? FINALLY, WE’VE GOT ONE WITH PERSONALITY!! (Im writing these out of order and i’ve just finished a chunk of Volturi members who have personalities as invisible as Afton.) Flirtatious and Light hearted, we love flirtatious and light hearted! Basically a comedian! Helllll yes, keep it going! Extremely vicious and highly aggressive? You know what? I still like it. He wouldn’t be a Volturi without a dark side. Cold blooded murderer. Yes. 10/10. Finally, someone Smeyer seems to actually care about. He flirted with Bella a couple of times in the books and i was FOR IT ALL THE WAY. I was very sad i saw none of it in the movies but im used to heartbreak by now. Im in this fandom after all. We were robbed of a lot. Strongest vampire in the world? I believe you, he’s also a hecking treeeeee. HE DO BE A TALL BOI. He actually makes Demetri look small and that’s still hilarious to me. Demetri is actually tall. However, if it isnt obvious we clearly traded backstory for personality. I cant get both smh. So...as i said before I fully believe Felix was a gladiator back in the day, hence his physique and height and excellent fighting abilities he has even as a vampire but then it kind of ends. I will say from the dawn of time, i don’t think Felix is the most academic man, just because of his era. I also think majority of the Volturi couldn’t read of write in their human lives and had to learn much older, most learning as vampires. Felix was one of these vampires, Although even now he isnt the most great at it. Then a wonderful writer known as @wallwriterstuff included it and now it’s canon in my eyes. I fully believe Felix is a slow reader and writing isn’t his strong suit either. Wallwriter also includes the possibility that Felix could be dyslexic which im all for too. For a very long time i’ve considered writing a dyslexic reader with the Volturi but have always hesitated because i don’t have it and wouldn’t want to upset someone for any misunderstandings or inaccuracies. However what i will say is that i think vampires would be the most understanding to humans with dyslexia. Learning things like that in later development or as an adult is difficult and they wouldnt think any less of you for struggling with reading, writing, numeracy- you name it. You’ll probably find they’re with you in the struggle at least half of the time. He’s also the goofball of the Volturi, even though he’s not really a goofball in our eyes, he’s the closest to a goofball out of the whole Volturi ...Emmett beats him in the Goofball wars.
Demetri: Oh yeah, it's Demetri's turn! So Demetri was previously in Amun's coven. When Chelsea gave him the old razzle dazzle...I've said Chelsea's gift so many times at this point it's getting old. I have two characters left after Demetri 😂😂 Anyway, with that Demetri was like "welp, I'm in the Volturi now." And now that they had a better tracker the previous one was kicked out. He isn’t much of a talker, polite and formal. He’s elegant (more graceful than i could ever be) and charming...yeah he is, you can say that AGAIN. He is also very calm, when next to Felix, i think everyone is calm but you know, we’ll say he’s a very calm person. I like how he was originally in the Egyptian coven with Amun. Given Amun’s goals this a pretty nice detail. NOW LETS GO TO MY VERSION. He’s very charming, calm, polite, formal and even a lil’ but quiet, i kept him pretty canon because he actually had a description to go on :))))))))))  Moving on. Demetri can be a very successful flirt when he wants to be and does have a Casanova reputation. However beyond the charming Volturi guard who has a brutal side like the rest of them, he has a chewy centre, deep down. I added that he had a child in his human life, one he doesn’t remember and very few people know about. He remembers that they died of an illness very young (around six?) but can’t remember what they look like. For that reason he doesn’t like talking about his child, he feels awful he doesn’t remember them and the loss still hits a pang in his chest. 
Heidi: Alright im ready for this one! Child me didn’t necessarily enjoy Heidi? I was rather passive about her. It was all ‘pretty vampire used for her looks’ in my eyes back then and i was never comfortable with that. I’ll get into my take on Heidi in a moment, roll on the backstory!  So Heidi knew Victoria as they used to be coven mates and we’re going to continue on as though Heidi didn’t care when she was killed? Like...its genuinely a burning question in my mind! If she didn't care, could that show the extent of Chelsea’s power in action!? (can we tell im enthusiastic about this coven yet?) It’s quite smart to have someone lure in prey. I wont lie, Heidi has quite the badass role in the coven. I wouldn't have thought about that I reckon. I’ve always thought that showed a kind of superiority. Oh you guys need to hunt your prey? pfft, ours literally comes to us. Her backstory really starts with Heidi being mistreated in her human life...a common theme Smeyer has. It can get old- i wont lie but when i give it some thought it kind of makes sense. Rosalie said it herself in eclipse, if any one of them had their happy ending, they’d be six feet under but i’d love a little bit more creativity. I could go on about how male vampires ended up being changed in comparison to female vampires but i’ll swiftly move on because that’s a whole other thing alone. Heidi was changed out of pity. (Which kinda infuriates me just to type, a pity change? Really? Really Hilda? we’ll see why it annoys me when i explain my take on Heidi.) Heidi was happy in her coven with Hilda, Victoria etc, which is hell yes. We love that. This is around the time she discovered her gift. Vampires were attracted to her and humans fell prey to her easily. Yup okay. I’ll take that. After a newborn vampire caused ‘too much attention’ Aro spared Heidi and Chelsea used her gift on Heidi. Nice, very nice aaaaand that’s where it stops and im left hanging.  Personality time with Smeyer! Lets goooo.  From what i remember and can find- she didn’t fucking have one. Apparently being pretty is enough for everyone.  Which in hindsight, fair enough on a human Bella’s perspective, its literally Heidi’s gift to lure you in no matter what. She could tell you she’s a serial killer (and technically is lmao) and is about to sell your kidneys on the black market as to which you’ll be like ‘sign me the fuck up, want my liver too? Here, let me lie on the table for you. I’m down.’ without even realising what just happened. But even beyond that...Heidi has no personality traits mentioned. In New Moon she appears to be a little flirty which im all for, why the hell not? But...thats it? Thats all I get? Then we get into fanfictions, because i read them growing up. Heidi was depicted as flirtatious, promiscuous and then it varied between manipulative or she wasnt very smart. Which i’m knocking absolutely no one for. I think you can get a badass character who is incredibly dumb. I think all characters are actually valid whether they’re a genius or flat out dumb. I love them all. However it never really sat with me. I was never quite satisfied which i was fine with until i started writing for myself. That’s when i knew i’d have to really think about what my version of Heidi would be or i’d never be happy with my work. That and you also begin to fill in the blanks? The more you write the more you flesh out a character for yourself and so that rolls into my version of Heidi! So for my Heidi, she often gets the same trope of ‘she’s pretty and rich, those types of girls have easy lives who always had everything given to them.’ Then when it’s discovered she didn’t have a good human life. It turns to the next assumption of ‘oh she’s pretty and stupid enough to be used and manipulated’. In a lot of ways, that’s what Heidi wants everyone to think. Underestimate her, please, its all the easier to manipulate you if you do.  She’s actually very smart and her rough human life made her more tough and intelligent. She’s very manipulative and yes she’s very flirty. You can look but you cant touch! She enjoys the attention her beauty gets her but if only these people would care more about what she’s like as a person. She’s not a barbie doll she will play you if she needs to. The only one who’s actually gotten far enough to sleep with Heidi is Demetri and even then the two don’t see each other romantically. They’re good friends who thinks the other is very attractive but that's where it ends. They’re basically friends with benefits some times lmao. However, Demetri got that far because he see’s the intellect Heidi actually has and acknowledges it. He thinks shes a queen who should be treated as such. She could take anything she wanted, a storm that people can only hope to survive in one piece.  Secretly she enjoys a family setting. Whilst she never really wanted children (especially when she was expected to when human), she couldn't help but melt inside seeing little human children with their loving parents. She wants that for all children. Whether that's because she lacked such affection growing up, no one knows. She’s also a really good friend, you bet she’ll have your back. Crappy ex? Well we’ll show them, wont we (Y/N)? She’ll be a bitch and enjoy every second of it. She also loves the single life, believe it or not, you’ll have more difficulty getting Heidi to settle down than you would Demetri which speaks volumes.  So yeah, move past her gift and really get to know her and you might have a very good friend.  I also don’t see Heidi having a preference between male or females and that’s in all honesty. Times have changed and if she is attracted to another female then she wont be ashamed of it. She never has been (Demetri was the first to figure that out, Felix may be the last.) Even when the times weren’t approving of different sexualities, she didn't care. She will flirt with you and find it ridiculously cute if you get flustered.
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Sulpicia: Sulpicia was an orphan which i used to develop my own version of her. Sulpicia grew to love Aro which im on the fence about but yup, i’ll take it. You’ll see what happens with my version in a bit lmao. and that’s where it stops. I get no personality again but do you know what we do in this fandom? We create one and fill in the blanks baby! So i write Sulpicia very materialistic and vain, she’s most snobbish of the wives and due to the other two, also considered the meaner one. She didnt have such things as a child being an orphan so when she got the opportunity to have it-she jumped. She isnt easily impressed and married Aro not for love but for immortality, money and status. (He’s only married you for your money, princess Jasmine! HE ONLY MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY! Damn it tik tok, but make it princess Aro) Which works well, because Aro doesnt necessarily love her either, he just wanted a mate so he wasnt the odd one out.He literally created her because he was like “Yup, you’ll do.” The two recognised they made a great team and image so they kinda grew to love each other? A little bit? Sure we’ll say its love...sorta. ANYWAY, It’s a highlight to Sulpicia being locked in that tower where she doesnt need to see Aro every little moment, it’s better than having a husband who she’d need to see everyday. ...Yeah my Sulpicia is something else lmao.
Athenodora:  Athenodora is one of the oldest vampires in existence which kinda has me shook but I'll take it. She met Caius when he was fleeing from the Romanians, the two travelled together until they met Aro. Whilst on their nomadic travels they seemingly became mates. That's all we know about that. As to which the Volturi coven was made. Athenodora is completely loyal to Caius as well as highly dependent on him and I think that's very realistic given her circumstances. That's where their story ends...maybe for Smeyer but not for me! 😁 So I picture Caius and Athenodora being different sides of the same coin. Athenodora really mellows Caius, she is no where near is violent and sadistic as he is but due to her unwavering loyalty and dependency, she doesn't feel inclination to go against him...also because of Chelsea and Corin but I've said that so many times in this post I think we get the point. I think she's actually more gentle and soft spoken but that being said. She is very reserved and if she were to be angered she'd very much change. She could cut you down with words alone. Caius loves it. However beyond this is someone who is very maternal. Caius would appreciate it more if the two had children but instead it has created empathy. Caius doesn't want that when he can rip their head off. She struggles a little more with the 'no second chances' and that's another reason why Caius keeps her locked away and away from it. These two love each other more than words can describe. After being through so much with someone, the love can only grow. The two would happily risk their life for the other. Caius is saddened that he could never give her the family she wanted. He knows that to this day, Athenodora tries to reign in that side of her. He's a very supportive husband who's very different around his wife. He's much more tolerant, and angry. Simply more at ease. If anything happened to Athenodora, to put it simply...there would be hell to pay.
Didyme: Married to Marcus and Aro’s biological sister. Cute, me likely, keepy going. Her gift was happiness induction. VERY ADORABLE- Dont be as menacing as your brother...please. She was born several years after Aro and was changed by Aro ten and a half years after he was turned. (Dont tease me with all this lore Smeyer, I know what you’re gonna do) Aro was deeply disappointed her gift was just to make people happy- its okay Didyme, we love you. Aro is just...Aro. Her gift made many fall in love with her and its so freaking cute i CANT- but she only felt the same feelings for Marcus. MY HEART IS SO WARMMMM. Unfortunately they were so happy together that they lost interest in anything Volturi and were ready to leave. (Uh oh.) Aro, being the sneaky fellow he is, was like “I’m really happy for y’all of course you can leave. I love you my babies. My best friend and my sisterrrrrrr, I am the captain of this SHIP.” but was actually like “wait, no, no, no, not my Marcus. D-D-Did-Didyme I NEED him.” Think Sid the Sloth from ice age in the first movie when Sid really wants the baby. So this man is like...gonna have to do it to em and murder. He killed Didyme secretly (dunno how he pulled the secret part off- like i know how he did it but how did no one hear or see anything or even suspect anything IT WAS LITERAL FRIENDLY FIRE but we love the drama so continue.) Ironically enough she was very close with Aro and the two actually did love each other, Aro is just...murderous apparently, to the extent that even his sister isnt safe. And that’s it. That’s Didyme. Which im like...alright Smeyer i see you. I like this and expanded on this with my Didyme.  i get the vibes that Didyme is the most innocent and kind of all the Volturi. Losing her meant losing the consciousness within the Volturi making them all the more ruthless because there was no one to say. “Guys, maybe lets rethink this? and quickly because i cant get Caius to put down the torch thats currently on fire.” Losing Didyme made Marcus mostly become passive and would rarely stop anything that happened. I often wonder if that provoked a lot of guilt for Marcus later on. (However thats a spoiler for something im currently writing...;) ) I also think of her as a major daydreamer and the most soft, gentle person anyone will ever meet. Like its difficult not to like her despite being in the Volturi, even the Romanians would have struggled if they met her. So in the long run...i hate nothing about Didyme, only find more and more love lmao.
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Corin: So im going to be honest and tell you i have no idea what Corin would look like. I’ve got nothing and when i was younger i wasnt even sure if Corin was male or female. Like a lot of these names, i had never heard of the name ‘Corin’. I dont write for her as of yet because im still trying to figure her out. I think she’s quite quiet, she lets her gift do most of the work for her in keeping the wives, Chelsea and Caius when he doesnt get to go on a rampage, content. She was brought in also after Didyme died but Marcus refused her gift.That’s all i’ve got for her. Her gift is amazing, pretty underrated in my personal opinion since like Chelsea, she really helps keep the Volturi unified but other than that, I dont have much to say about her. :(
Afton:  Another character i basically filled the blanks in for myself. So what we’re told is that he’s Chelsea’s mate and has the ability to disappear . Whilst thats a pretty cool trick...the volturi dont necessarily need it but they have to keep Chelsea happy and she demands that Afton stays so welcome to the family Afton! I also recently learned that if you hide behind Afton and he goes invisible infront of an opponent, you too will also be invisible. I figure that is until the opponent moves and basically changes their perspective but i could be wrong with that last part. That’s all we get so time for my unnecessary input!  SO AFTON IS A TOTAL SWEETHEART. He’s very shy but polite. This is a complete opposite to his mate Chelsea. It’s actually what she liked about him. At first is was just be flirtatious to the shy vampire but when she actually got to know him... she fell hard. It was also Chelsea who had made the first move since Afton was so shy. Of course she’d never say so and Afton would never want to embarrass her so that was never really disclosed to anyone who wasn’t around at that time. She brings Afton out of his shell a lot and it wasn’t long before the two were mates. Chelsea is the light of his life. Hands down. He puts up with a lot for her and is happy to do so. She could ask anything of him and he’d do it and she doesn’t even need to use her gift. He buys are anything she wants almost instantly. He cant help but adore her passionate personality, like how hooked she can get on era’s such as the 1920′s, her love for jazz music and her ability to gush on and on about anything. The two had what the other lacked and that made them an excellent team. I love their relationship. I cant help it. However, as i said before Afton is very shy and tends to keep to himself. Sadly that, paired with Chelsea’s demand to keep him in the Volturi has left Afton a little bit outcasted. All the other permanent guards were wanted and considered important whilst Afton...not so much. Although that isn’t to say the other guards are mean to him or anything. They aren’t! (Except the twins who are...the twins.) Felix and Demetri tried to include him a lot but it was very difficult to break him out of his shell. That doesn’t mean to say they wont invite Afton when he’s around. Chelsea always appreciates their efforts. Afton is notably good friends with Santiago, who often preferred solitude as well. 
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(Guard to the left is who I imagine Afton is)
Chelsea: So supposedly Chelsea’s original name is Charmion? When i was younger i didnt really care much about her. I only really knew her gift and that she was the reason Afton was kept in the Volturi, since they were mates. From what im aware Chelsea basically wasnt in the movies/not identified. There wasnt much said about her in the books either. So since then i’ve kind of developed my own persona of Chelsea that could be completely inaccurate to canon but canon was my foundations with characters like these. She was always a red head in my eyes with ringlets, a copper kind of red head. I also pictured her to be small. However the newest addition to her character would have to be the mid-Atlantic accent. I blame Poppy Hill for this one. That character screamed Chelsea to me. She was very close to how i imagine Chelsea to be. So now Chelsea has an accent that i have no clue how she managed to maintain being in Italy so long and being born in Greece. LMAO. We’ll say she was very attached to that time. However, I think the time she joined the Volturi was actually very good for the story. She first came around just after Marcus had lost Didyme and Aro had her use her ability to keep Marcus in the coven. it’s really cool how she could really make or break the coven. Although, Aro was smart enough to not fully rely on her, using Corin’s ability on Chelsea to make sure she’d be happy and stay within the Volturi. Thats where the information on Chelsea really ends Over the years Chelsea has appeared in my writing and so beyond this point, Chelsea’s character is only my depiction.  I figure Chelsea is a talker, like she can talk her way in and out of situations with ease. She enjoys being manipulated and even more so, being needed.Much like her gift, she gets under people’s skin- not in terms that she’s annoying but more so she can figure out people very well. Her mate is the complete opposite and so she often speaks on the behalf of them. Chelsea is very social and charismatic. She along with Heidi are the only two Volturi members who will be out and interacting with humans if necessary. Heidi for her ability but Chelsea purely for her social skills. She’s also the most interested in human culture. She loves the parties- the 1920′s being her favourite era in terms of fashion. She has no issue changing her name and has done so multiple times when the names run out of fashion.It’s like playing dress up! I’d actually love to write more about her. I’ve really grown to love her character, even if i filled in some blanks for myself. I think she and Afton’s relationship is one of the best, up there with Carlisle and Esme- despite the two being very different. It’s a part of their dynamic!
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(I always imagined Chelsea to be a red head but Poppy Hill from THOHH is a very close depiction to Chelsea in my eyes)
Renata: A stressed little bean that lives on stress. I remember thinking when i was younger she was the big threat since she was Aro’s shield but now that im older i see...a stressed little five foot bean. I have no idea what she looks like but always imagine her dark hair tied in a tight bun, looking almost painful. Another who wears heels, like Heidi but she is very rigid just as she has been described. Her uncle is a bit of an ass considering he begged her to go with the Volturi so there wouldn’t be a threat. Dude, can you not just...hand over your niece? At least hesitate! Just like that, thanks to Chelsea, she’d give her life to protect Aro and...I have nothing else. Yes it does drive me mad that there are two named guards i know next to nothing about.
Santiago:So what’s known about Santiago is that he doesn’t actually have an ability. He’s just very good at battle techniques and fighting which is why he’s kept around. If they need fighters, they’re top three are Felix, Demetri and Santiago...in that order. Santiago is also much faster than a regular vampire (as shown in breaking dawn part 2- he caught up to Jacob and Renesmee quite fast despite the two having a running start and wolves supposedly being very fast- much like a vampire) That’s all we know of him so then i got in there and this is how I write Santiago. I gave him the background of coming from a superstitious family. Like he would be told tales of demons and witches growing up as well as things like voodoo. He knew an awful lot of urban legends and whilst he stopped believing in the bad luck his family taught him, he still held interest and couldn’t help the instinct of unease when witnessing such things as rituals. It’s ironic really. However Santiago always deems that humans have it all wrong. These forces are beyond human understanding and shouldn’t be played with. In that way, perhaps Santiago still has some belief in things such as superstition. He’s very secretive about it and would never clarify it for you. Santiago keeps to himself and can be quite standoffish. He can also be blunt even if it’s insulting- he doesn’t tend to care. Although he and Afton became quite good friends since the Afton was an outcast and Santiago didn’t enjoy large groups, or most people in general.
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answering questions I’ve been asked on TikTok✨
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QUESTION: how did you get into reading?
So, when I was in middle school (many moons ago) we had this thing called AR Testing. Basically, you read a book and take a test on it—the questions were things that happened in the book, it was really simple. If you got a good grade, you got points. The more points you earned, the more eligible you were for the reading party at the end of each semester. Me, being the nerd I am, got top of my class because I went through 8th grade level books like it was nothing. The librarian at my school brought me books from the high school to read since everything was easy for me, and alas, my addiction began. And now that I have adult money, it’s a true addiction. Also, telling my father “I’m bored” and his response being, “go read a book or something” so thanks dad.
QUESTION: what’s one book you ALWAYS recommend to people?
This one is tough because I’ve read THOUSANDS of books, but if I had to choose one, it would probably be Confess by Colleen Hoover. I fell in love with her work in high school when I first read Ugly Love, but Confess is the type of book that pulls at your heart strings, y’all. It has everything people love: humor, sexual tension, drama, love. GO BUY THE DAMN BOOK. Or honestly any book by Colleen Hoover—she’s a fucking amazing author.
QUESTION: outside of making TikToks, what do you do for a living?
I currently work at a restaurant and hate every second of it. If anyone tells you to become a server, DONT. It’s not worth the hassle, I promise you. Sure, you can make decent money but the amount of rude customers and shitty tips you receive each shift is very disheartening. If you really need a job, do anything BUT work in the food industry.
QUESTION: what’s your wattpad story about?
First question: which one? I have about 30 drafts sitting there waiting to be posted. But, I’m going to assume you’re talking about the Harry Styles fan fiction I’ve been working on for the past 4 years and haven’t had the courage to post. I’ll tell you a little about it: Elaine Aldridge is forced into a betrothal to a man she’s never met & loathes. She goes to his court and realizes things aren’t what they truly seem. And the guard her future husband sticks on her??? None other than Mr. Harry Styles. Add in some magic & deaths and you’ve got my story— The First Prince. (Honestly, that’s an extremely shitty description so if you wanna check it out go to my wattpad account)
QUESTION: how old are you?
Ahem. . . twenty-one.
QUESTION: what is your dream career?
Being a published author and having people rave about my books. That’s all. Or, an editor for a publishing company. Imagine reading all day and being paid for it🤩
QUESTION: what was your least favorite read of 2020?
I already KNOW I’m gonna get shit for this but....... the wicked king. YALL I LITERALLY COULDNT GET THROUGH IT IM SO SORRY, I STILL HAVENT FINISHED IT
QUESTION: current favorite author?
Sarah. J. Maas. I don’t know what it is about her writing style, but it’s addicting. Throne of Glass is hands down the best series I’ve ever read. A Court of Thorns and Roses is the first book I’ve EVER reread. Her stories truly suck you in and hold onto you—you get lost so easily in her writing and it’s like once you’re done with a series, nothing will compare. Or, at least that’s how I felt after finishing Kingdom of Ash. Honorable mentions: Jennifer L. Armentrout, Penelope Douglas, L.J Shen, Elle Kennedy and Kennedy Fox.
QUESTION: any recommendations/tips to give to a new reader?
I’ve always given this advice to people who want to get into reading: find what you like and start with that. If you like romance, I’ve got a list for you to choose from. Mystery? Another list. Sci-fi? I GOT YOU. Fantasy? Yes! Sports fiction? It might take me a second but I’ll find you a book. Nonfiction? I’m zero help in that category, honestly. The point of the matter is that you’re never going to enjoy a book if you aren’t interested in the underlying topics.
QUESTION: do you ever find yourself comparing your life to fictional life?
Yes. All the time. I daydream about being apart of the Inner Circle and living in Terrasen with Aelin and Rowan. I think about what it would be like to have real powers and a mate. It drives my boyfriend crazy—but he loves me anyway.
QUESTION: what are your most anticipated books of 2021?
Here’s a list:
A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas
The Crown of Gilded Bones by Jennifer L. Armentrout
Gods and Monsters by Shelby Mahurin
Crescent City 2 (Untitled) by Sarah J. Maas
A Vow So Bold and Deadly by Brigid Kemmerer (I just ordered this one & it arrives tomorrow)
Blessed Monsters by Emily A. Duncan
QUESTION: why did you start a Tumblr?
Honestly, I used to love tumblr when I was in grade school (way too young to be on here then but what else is new). I like having an extra space to get my questions and comments out without having to compress it into a 60 second video for TikTok to see. Tumblr is a good place to blog & post things like this.
QUESTION: what’s your favorite song right now?
I’ve listened to Carry You by Novo Amor every day for the past two months and I cry each time.
QUESTION: why write Harry Styles fan fiction?
Simple: I love Harry Styles. I’ve been a fan of him and One Direction since they were on X FACTOR. Read that again. X. Factor. I used to watch their performances on YouTube before WMYB even came out. Of course, I love all of the 1D boys but I was always a Harry gal. And I look up to him in a way—I’ve read things about people wishing they knew him personally and honestly? I would never want to meet him. I like the version of him I’ve cooked up in my brain over the past 10 years. I like the symbiotic relationship I have with his music. Fine Line is a ✨masterpiece✨. HS1 is a ✨work of art✨.
now, some topics I’ve been asked way too many times and want to finally get to:
QUESTION: political views?
the saying “anyone but trump” has been in my brain for the past four years. No, I’m not a republican. No, I’m not a democrat. I like to think of myself as a progressive (ahem, liberal) Did I vote for a democratic candidate? Yes, and I’d do it again and again until the US isn’t one of the worst countries—I’m sorry, businesses— to be apart of. I wanted Bernie but got Biden, and I’m alright with that. And my girl Kamala🥳
QUESTION: how did you feel about the BLM protests?
I went to multiple BLM protests and donated a lot of funds to BLM & other organizations. It’s 2021, people... stop being fucking RACIST. And don’t be afraid to call racist people out! Black Lives Matter, even if no one is posting about it anymore.
QUESTION: thoughts on abortion?
your body your choice, queen! not my uterus, not my problem.
QUESTION: there was a comment on an old video of yours talking about r*pe, why did you delete the comment?
I made a video when I first started my account on TikTok about reading in public and feeling “turned on” by it. Go watch it if you don’t know what I’m talking about. BUT, some ignorant male decided to comment and say “this is how girls get r*ped”. Whew. So. I deleted the comment because ....
I am a victim of sexual assault. Along with a lot of other women. 1 in 5 women have been victims of sexual assault. Talking about being r*ped isn’t funny.
No one else needed to see his comment. I reported it immediately and his account was shut down.
I never got justice for what happened to me, and the fact that some random male—who had never even met me or seen me before my video showed up on his FYP—had the nerve to comment that? Unacceptable.
this question isn’t as controversial but
QUESTION: what’s the best way to get out of a toxic relationship?
okay, let me just start off by saying that the people around you who love and support you are going to be your backbone. Leaving a toxic situation is hard, and every situation is different, but my best piece of advice to offer you is don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your loved ones are going to be there for you when you need them, even if you don’t believe they will. If you explain what’s happening, someone you know and love will drop whatever it is their doing to make sure you get out safely. good luck my babes.
now, back to our regularly scheduled program:
QUESTION: any tips on making tiktoks?
Literally none. I post what I think is funny and relatable and if anyone agrees, I’m satisfied. Even if it’s one view, it’s good enough for me. So I guess my one tip is to not base your life off of an app and followers.
QUESTION: favorite Harry Styles fanfic?
DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE. Duplicity is up there, along with Stall 1&2, and Kiwi. After? Absolutely not.
QUESTION: favorite WEBTOON?
y’all already KNOW. LORE OLYMPUS BY USEDBANDAID. Rachel is a genius and I have reread the series a million times. Hades is my soulmate and Apollo can rot in the fiery pits of the Underworld. also, if we’re talking about other webcomics, reading Walk on Water on mangadex...🤫
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QUESTION: favorite movie?
Howls Moving Castle. I will be getting my “a heart is a heavy burden” tattoo very very soon.
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QUESTION: I read your Elain theory on tumblr, can you explain a little more?
I thought I was pretty straightforward but I’ll say it again: she is always the “good” one and it’s too suspicious. SJM has already given one Archeron sister a happy ending, Nesta’s is obviously inevitable, but Elain? She has too many options for a happy ending. Lucien, who is her “mate”. Azriel, who is intrigued by her slightly. Her human guy—I don’t remember his name—who is disgusted that she’s not human anymore. Or, alone, planting flowers all day. BUT! My point is that she’s not truly happy. She was forced into the Cauldron just like Nesta. She was ripped away from the life she loved so dearly and didn’t want to give up. The man she was going to marry now hates her guts because she’s a High Fae. She has the perfect set up for a villain plot line and I’m all here for it.
well, that’s all I feel like doing tonight. hope you enjoyed my little q&a! be kind, and talk to you later! byeeee!
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uncloseted · 3 years
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i related to effy an unhealthy amount when i was only 13 when i first watched it, but at the time i wasnt doing drugs, homewrecking, doing anything that young lol. however i was extremely mentally ill but undiagnosed, and so confused but i found solace in effys character because of how similar i felt to her. flashforward to being 20 now and im a nic addict/borderline drug and alcohol addict that forgets to take my prescribed antidepressants and antipsychotics. i cant tell you how many events of effys life have mirrored mine now 7 years later, both the pretty but mostly the ugly. it all feels like a joke to me, and the thing is of course it wasnt effy the fictional character that did this to me, it was the fact that i was genetically and epically set up to do this to me for as long as i existed and i saw myself in her too young. everyone ive ever met and started to befriend has fallen in love with me, has found me beautiful, and then seen my flaws and hated me even if they didnt tell me to my face. ive been a horrible friend and partner and im flighty and unreliable and destructive. i never saw effy, or a person like effy, find a happy ending and im afraid even when im at my manic highs i will never find a lasting happiness and will always accidentally self sabotage until i die. what im trying to ask is, how can i save me? i know its dumb to ask a random tumblr user but ive been following this blog since i was 13-14 and since you know effy through and through, you might know a little about me. its a long shot. (i’d also like to say this isnt a cry for help and im safe/not actively suicidal so i dont want you to feel like theres any pressure like that, but i did use this ask box as a free therapy session.)
I'm a bit biased, but I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a random Tumblr user at all. I'm happy to be a free therapy session when you need one, and I'm really touched that you've trusted me with your thoughts and feelings for so long. Hopefully I've been some help over the years 😆
Coping with mental illness can be really, really hard, but the good news is that with the right tools and support system, you can absolutely recover. It sounds like you already have a psychiatrist in your life, which is a great start. If you've having trouble remembering to take your medication, it might help to set calendar reminders on your phone, set up text prompts to remind you to take your pills, to link taking your pills with something else you do every day (like brushing your teeth or eating breakfast), or to reward yourself for taking your medication (for example, putting a piece of candy in your pill box that you can eat after taking your pill).
If you don't have one already, a therapist might also be a good idea. It can take a while to find the right therapist for you, so schedule a few appointments and see which therapist you "click" with. A therapist can help you work through any reluctance you might have towards taking you medications, as well as helping you come up with day to day strategies that help you achieve your goals and helping you work through the beliefs that you hold about yourself and the world that may be holding you back.
Moving on to talking about addiction for a bit. I strongly believe that addiction doesn't come from some type of inherent lack of willpower or moral failing, or even really the drug itself. It's the need to escape reality. And that's actually supported by scientific literature; most famously, the Rat Park experiment by Bruce K Alexander. Practically, we've seen that same thing in the aftermath of Portugal's decision to decriminalize all drugs. They took the money they were using to keep drug users in prison, and instead invested that money into reconnecting people who struggle with addiction to society. Their goal was to make sure that every person who struggles with addiction has a reason to get up in the morning and has a support system within the wider society. And it actually worked- injection drug use is down 50%, overdoses and HIV infections have massively decreased, and rates of addiction decreased as well. It's much easier to quit when you have something motivating you to keep going.
Why am I telling you all of this? I guess what I'm trying to get at is in order to recover from addiction, I think first people need to understand what the reality is that they're trying to escape. What can be done about those issues? Who's in your corner trying to support you, even if they're not doing the best job at it? Where else can you get the social support you might need? What are you passionate about? What would make it feel worth it to get up in the morning? I think instead of focusing on the drugs, or the alcohol, or the cigarettes, maybe we should focus on solving the root problems that make those attractive options. That's one of the reasons a therapist is a really good idea; they can help you figure out what those root problems are, and provide resources and tools to help you fix those problems.
In terms of practical, do it yourself advice for dealing with addiction, there are a couple things you might try. I did a whole post on evidence-based ways to set goals and follow through on them here, so I won't rehash it in this post, but basically:
Try to set goals that are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound. For you, this might be something like "My goal is to have only one drink a day (measurable and achievable) for week (time bound) so that I can be more reliable for my friends (relevant)".
Instead of trying to quit something, replace it with something else. For example, "when I feel like smoking, I'm going to do ten minutes of learning Korean instead". Learning something new is easier and more exciting, and so new habits are easier to maintain that breaking old ones. Find a new hobby that you've always wanted to do or that's exciting to you, and try to focus your energies on that to distract yourself.
Identify any obstacles (such as environmental triggers) that you might run into, and develop contingency plans for working around them. This might be something like, "when I drink coffee in the morning, I want to smoke, so I'm going to switch to tea instead." If you can, get rid of all environmental triggers that might remind you of your addiction or trigger a craving.
Get someone else involved. Tell a friend about your goal and have them check up on you. Your fear of disappointing them will help you stay on track.
Put money on the line. Give money to a friend with the understanding that you'll get it back at a set date if you've achieved the goal you set. Tell your friend that if you fail, they should donate the money to a group or cause you really hate.
Write down the reasons you want to quit, and put them somewhere you know you'll see them. Whenever you want to engage in an addiction behavior, read through that list first.
For bonus points, add to that list your contingency plan for when you want to engage in an addiction behavior. These may include ways to redirect your attention or distract yourself until the craving passes.
76% of people who wrote down their goals, actions and provided weekly progress to a friend successfully achieved their goals.
You might also try an addiction recovery app, such as these, or doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy worksheets on your own if you can't access a therapist right now.
There are also some things you can try in order to improve your mood. As much as I hate that this is true, consistent exercise has a huge impact on mood. If you can, try taking a 20 minute walk outside, 3 times a week. Other (boring) things, like making sure you're getting 7-9 hours of sleep a night and eating regularly, can also make a big difference in mood. Some of you might know that I'm a little bit obsessed with the free Coursera class "The Science of Well-Being". It has a lot of great evidence-based tips and tricks for how to build happiness, and I highly recommend it if you're trying to live a happier life. These include things like journaling, meditating, noting things that you're grateful for, helping other people, and having regular social interactions.
Finally, a few philosophical thoughts. One of the Four Noble Truths in Buddhism is dukkha. Basically, this is the idea that suffering is an innate characteristic of existence in our world. When I was younger, I never liked this concept, but I think now I kind of get it. It's impossible to be happy 100% of the time, and that shouldn't be our goal. Suffering is the comparison by which our lives gain meaning. But we can do our best to minimize our suffering and the suffering of others, and ride the wave of suffering when it does come. And each time we ride that wave, we can learn techniques to manage it a little bit better, and to make it easier the next time. We will sometimes sabotage ourselves out of fear, but we can learn how to do it less frequently and for the consequences to be less dire. We can learn how to forgive ourselves for our flaws and what we've done in the past, and learn from those mistakes so we don't do them again in the future. It's also okay to backslide, to struggle even after you've made progress. You're never back where you started, because you've always learned more and experienced more.
I know I've thrown kind of a lot at you in this post, and I don't expect you to try all of it or for all of it to work, but hopefully something in there is helpful to you. You can get through this. You can save yourself, but please, also remember to let others help save you. You don't need to do this on your own. And just like I have been since you were 13, I'm always here to give a free therapy session and to lend my support ❤️❤️❤️
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eucherry · 3 years
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         hello everyone !  i’m b and i’m very happy to be here !  i look forward to writing with and getting to know you all !  ♡  but before all that ,  allow me to introduce my daughter sherry ,  better known as cherry !  here is a little carrd that i’m currently working on for her .  it only has her stats at the moment ,  but i’ll add more stuff as soon as i can !  let’s begin the rambling !
⟨ BRUNA MARQUEZINE. CIS FEMALE. SHE/HER. ⟩ though the mist might prevent some from seeing it, SHERRY “CHERRY” VAZ is actually a descendent of HYPNOS. it’s still a question of whether or not the TWENTY-TWO year old NURSING MAJOR from NEW YORK, USA has taken after their godly parent completely, but the demigod is still known to be quite COMPASSIONATE & WORRISOME.
          sherry luiza vaz was born on may 13th ,  1998 ,  in new york city .  her mother ,  juliana pereira vaz ,  was a writer who had never quite pictured herself as a motherly person ;  she was the daughter of an immigrant couple who hailed from brazil ,  and starting a family had never been a priority ,  or even an item in her bucket list .  sherry wasn’t planned ,  she was but the consequence of a night of curiosity and interest in a man unlike any juliana had ever seen .  yet at the same time ,  it only took one look at the crying baby’s face for her to realize she’d do anything for that child .
         growing up ,  sherry was always a cheerful and energetic child .  she was quick to make friends ,  surrounding herself with all kinds of people  ---  but mostly good ones .  she loved to go on adventures ,  to learn new things everyday and discover the world little by little .  while raising a child on her own wasn’t an easy task ,  juliana did wonderful ,  and nothing lacked for the little girl with bright eyes and red - colored lips .  
        every night ,  her mother would read her a bedtime story ,  which was probably the little girl’s favorite time of the day .  whether it was from exhaustion or due to the sweet tales that cradled her brain ,  sleeping was never a problem for cherry .  if anything ,  it was just an extension of her ever exciting daytime activities .  it was when she felt at her peak !
         as cherry got older ,  the curiosity surrounding her mysterious father began to grow .  she wasn’t quite sure why ,  but she would often see a strange man in her dreams and surprisingly enough ,  he wouldn’t say much about himself .  in fact ,  he’d tell her about her “powers” ,  or things she would be able to do in no time .  it wasn’t long after his first visit that cherry found herself levitating in her sleep ,  only to be woken up by a scream coming from her own mother .  it was right then and there that she was claimed by hypnos ,  &  the rest is history !
       flash forward to the present day ,  and cherry couldn’t be happier .  despite the many differences ,  the demigod camp from years ago  &  eonia have become a second home to her and although she misses her mother dearly ,  not to mention every little corner of new york ,  she loves the feeling of belonging ,  of being a part of something new .  she’s currently in her junior year as a nursing student and if you see her around campus ,  don’t hesitate to say hi !  chances are she’ll invite you to grab some coffee and ask what you dreamed about last night .
ABILITIES
hypnokinesis — every other night, cherry will wander into her friends’s dreams. rare are the times she makes herself noticeable, but those who she is closest with might notice her presence; a calm aura, almost as if to let them know that nothing bad will happen, for she’s keeping an eye on their dream. for her, making sure her loved ones have a good night’s sleep is a duty, but also extremely fun! of course, if someone hurts her or someone she cares about, they should expect no rest for however long the demigod sees fit.
shapeshifting — being observant in nature, there’s been countless times throughout her life where cherry shifted into different creatures, often small in size, to blend in with her surroundings and be able to simply watch people as they went on about their days. one of her favorite past times was to transform into a small bird, much like her father, and people watch from the top of a branch in between the many trees of the central park. slowly but surely, she’s been learning to shift into bigger creatures, hoping to be able to shift into a wolf one day. so far, her list includes a variety of birds, a doe and a bunny.
memory retrieval — during cherry’s teenage years, there was a period of time where her mother struggled with providing for the two of them. as a means of helping her mother and having recently discovered her ability to play with memories, the girl started to secretly offer her services to people who were desperate to forget something. anything. an embarrassing occurrence, heartbreak, a bad memory … all they had to do was say the word, and cherry guaranteed they’d find the will to move on with their life within the next forty-eight hours. of course, her results were always positive, and people were eternally grateful for her service, despite not being able to understand just how it worked, or come they’d always feel as though a weight had been lifted off their shoulders.
levitation — one of her favorite abilities. levitation was the first power to blossom inside her, and is still one of her favorites to this day. it isn’t unusual to catch cherry levitating while she sleeps, or even while she’s focused on a book. it’s a very nifty skill to have, and she absolutely no problem using it to make life easier !
seeing the gods in dreams — while being a helpful skill (especially when she wants to communicate with her father), cherry tends to avoid seeing the gods as much as possible, and rarely seeks to find one of them in her sleep. it’s not that she’s afraid of them, but she simply would rather keep her distance unless communication is extremely necessary.
CONNECTIONS
friends !  cherry is an extremely sociable person ,  and loves meeting new people .  if you’re nice to her ,  chances are she’ll like you right away and boom ,  a wonderful friendship is sure to blossom !
cherry’s please-help-me-i-can’t-sleep list !  while she avoids using her powers so as to dodge any trouble ,  there’s been a couple occasions where she may or may not have dabbled into people’s sleep in order to help improve it .  it would be really interest to see the dynamic between her and someone who relies or once relied on her abilities to get some rest !
a sibling - like relationship !  despite being twenty - two ,  cherry feels a certain level of responsibility for most people in her life ,  even the ones older than her .  please let her be the protective sister no one asked for oh god .
an ex / past fling !  this is pretty self explanatory ,  but yes !  we can talk about how and why things ended and whatnot ,  and where they stand !  cherry is a firm believer of love ,  so it’s only natural that she’s been in love once or twice or however many times .
a friend with benefits / one night stand !  while these kinds of relationships aren’t her favorite ,  i can see her having made an exception once  ---  or perhaps still making an exception .  she’s not proud of it ,  but it happens !
anything your heart desires !  i’m open to all things ,  so just hit me up on discord or IMs !
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