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squiggiily · 1 year

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My Vipassana Experience

It’s hard to put into words all the things I experienced in these 10 days. But I would say as a whole, I walked away from that space with a profound sense of presence. Understanding what it means to BE HERE NOW. I feel like I could always somewhat understand that that is what it truly means to be alive, but never knew how to actually make it my reality, how to walk that path. And I don’t think I do truly KNOW, but I am one step closer to understanding that at a deeper level now more than I ever have before.

The whole technique is based on the concept of “Anicca” It refers to the Buddhist concept of impermanence that all existence is temporary and everything changes. That is the core of what you begin to understand there. You understand that there IS only NOW.

Our thoughts constantly run between memories or regrets of the past and aspirations or anxieties of the future. And this is what causes suffering, because they are cravings or aversions to what is happening right now in this actual moment.

The experience was much like a prison, or mental hospital, a controlled environment where you must stay within the boundaries and follow the schedule to a tee. At times these boundaries were comforting, and other moments they were suffocating.

Schedule

04:00 morning wake up gong

04:30 meditate in your room or in the hall

06:30 breakfast

08:00 *meditate in the hall*

09:00 meditate in your room or in the hall

11:30 lunch

13:00 rest

14:00 meditate in your room or in the hall

14:30 *meditate in the hall*

15:30 meditate in your room or in the hall

17:00 tea and fruit

18:00 *meditate in the hall*

19:00 Discourse by Goenka

20:30 meditate in the hall

21:00 day is finished

21:30 lights out

I attended the course in Stowmarket, England. The course is run entirely by volunteers and the teachings were recorded lessons by Goenka, who I grew to admire and love very much. He is so wise and humble, and has such a way with words and explaining the teachings, and a beautiful sense of humor. What an honor it was to receive his teachings. My heart exploded with love and compassion for him on the last day, I couldn't stop crying when the last recording ended.

Understanding Sankharas

The teachings talk about eradicating Sankharas. Goenka explained it like this,

Saṅkhāra is usually translated as mental formations or volitional activities.

Those that are light are like a line drawn on water, which quickly disappears. Those that are medium are like a line draw in sand, which disappears after a while. Those that are heavy are like a line carved in rock, which disappears only after a long time.

The whole technique is about having the thought, and letting it pass, like the line through the water surface. And the more you train your mind to allow the sensations to rise and fall, the quicker they rise and fall. The more you try to hold onto these sensations the longer they will stick around and haunt you, the deeper you dig this thought into the rock and the more difficult it is to let it go. Every time you let your mind get carried away with your cravings or aversion it draws this line. And when you get stuck on this memory or dream, it digs the line deeper and deeper, rather than letting it fall away and pass by quickly. And this creates your suffering.

Day 1-3 you spend simply observing the sensation of the air coming in and out of your nostrils. Days 4-10 you begin the actual technique of vipassana. Which is doing a body scan of sensations in the body. You begin with noticing the sensations on your scalp, then the forehead, eyes, ears, cheeks, nose and all the way down the body to your toes and then back up. Going slowly and deliberately. Every day you alter the pace and technique just a little until you can get into a free flow of moving sensational energy all throughout the body in a free flow.

Sounds easy but it is so hard to focus on only that. All kinds of sensations pop up; pain, itches, tickling, pulsating, tingling, etc. And the whole technique is to just simply observe that those sensations are there and to not let your mind jump to those spots but to just keep going with the body scan from top to bottom. And you notice that those sensations all pass away when you don't give them your mental energy. They lose power and fade.

During the process you notice your mind trying to run away, all of a sudden a memory comes up and carries your mind away and you completely forget where you were on the body. With time and experience you notice quicker and quicker that your mind has run away, and you kindly direct it back to feeling the physical sensations on the body. I managed to get through about three 1 hour sessions (out of 120 hours of meditation) without letting my mind get carried away even once. But it was extremely hard, it required so much discipline and focus. And the more I did it the easier it got (to a certain extent).

I understood that those thoughts that tried to carry me away were nothing more than mental sensations that can also be observed and let to pass away, the same as an itch or a tickle. If you recognize that the sensation (or thought) is present, you recognize it, observe it impartially, and then bring your attention back to where you were in your path on noticing the sensations on the body and eventually the thought or the itch just fades away, bringing you back to the present moment again. And this is ultimately the technique. To not let your mind get carried away with thoughts and sensations, they are simply impermanent things that will rise and fall. Anicca.

For me the first 5 days were the easiest. I think because in my mind before I arrived I was expecting a lot of suffering. So every time something happened where I suffered, I just smiled and laughed to myself and thought, well you knew this was gonna happen…

But as the days went on, days 6-10, the true suffering began. I became so bored, so deprived, so annoyed, so over it. I wanted to do so many things. I often sat and thought about all my cravings: to smoke, to drink, to have sex, to watch tv, to hula hoop, to to be free. I wanted them all sooooo bad and by sitting and conjuring my cravings it made my reality so much worse. Because I didn’t have those things. I only had my present reality. I only had meditating and walking around the gardens and sitting and staring at the wall. I was miserable. And I spent most of those days stewing in my misery. But then there were moments of remembering the wisdom, and remembering how grateful I was to be in that situation. That I have this time to just sit with my thoughts, and to remember to make use of this time. And then I would get up and walk around or if I had to meditate I would find the power to do another body scan and find my presence. But it was hard. I won’t lie. It was also suffering.

There were 3 mandatory hours during the day that we had to be in the hall meditating as a group. And the rest of the 9 hours of meditation per day you could do in the hall or in your room on your bed. I always had the best meditation sessions in the hall but the position was so hard on the body and the intensity on the mind that anytime I could meditate in my room I chose that.

My mind wandered a lot. I had so many things to sort out, and I found that these contemplation hours I spent thinking of every single thing that ever happened in my life were just as valuable as the meditations themselves. I came to a place of understanding and rationalizing with myself in those hours.

Your ego feels so broken down at this time, it had nowhere to hide, nowhere to distract itself, it was just out there exposed in plain sight, vulnerable and honest. And then you begin to see that your ego is just actually a wounded child, wanting to get its way. And your soul, your Truth, it is the wise caring parent that you always needed and you can console and comfort that wounded inner child with. And that is how we heal ourselves, by recreating these parental/child interactions in the ways that are actually good for us.

By giving that wounded child the love it never got, the acceptance it never received, or the discipline it never learned.

In this time it was so easy and accessible to have these conversations with myself, and so valuable and moving.

I learned many, many lessons there. One was that everyone on this planet experiences suffering. And often during the sittings you sit there in agony and pain and scattered thoughts and memories and are in a world of suffering, you open your eyes and see everyone sitting in stillness, at first it seems they are not suffering, they are sitting in peace with themselves, going through their lives and on the outside it looks like stillness, however you know that they are actually experiencing the same amount more or less than you are in their suffering. So in many ways it expanded my capacity for compassion for all humans. Knowing the pain I am going through is comparable to everyone else.

“Can you sit with my pain or yours without trying to hide it, fade it, or fix it?”

A quote that looped in my mind over and over again. Can you just observe your experiences without reacting to them? Understanding that our thoughts and feelings are not ours. They are uncontrolled responses to stimuli. And that part of our work in our lives is to be able to detach ourselves from these sensations, because they are simply that, sensations.

In my mind, I spent so much mental energy thinking about how sitting in stillness for so long is not healthy and is going to give me and injury. Yoga wasn't allowed and I can't remember the last time I didn't do yoga for 10 days. So at some point during the retreat I created injuries in both of my shoulders. Whether it was the weight of my arms being so relaxed and pulled downward, or not doing any strength exercises, or sleeping incorrectly, I don't know, but both of my shoulders felt like they had slipped out of the sockets, it was very painful. I could barely lift my arms. I also found a lump on the top of my right shoulder and it sent me spiraling with ugly thoughts of never being able to do all the things I love ever again.

I realized the severity of the injuries on the evening of the 9th night. I had proudly gone the entire retreat without any back supports, or chairs, which many other people had and I purposely didn't want any help, I wanted to be able to support myself, almost in a metaphoric manner. But with these undeniable injuries I had to sit the whole last day with back and arm supports. I was so ashamed.

I spent the whole 10th morning crying and feeling so sorry for myself. Calling myself a failure, ridiculing myself, my thoughts were so horrible.

After spending some hours really feeling down on myself, I came back to some amount of calmness. I returned to this internal dialogue of the ego child and parent wisdom and told my ego, you are not a failure, we all make regresses on the path, we all make mistakes, it’s okay to need support sometimes, it’s okay to fail sometimes, but you didn’t fail, you didn’t quit! This whole experience was so difficult and look! You are still here, you are still fighting! Look how strong you are, look how resilient you are. Be soft with yourself, be proud of yourself. Forgive yourself. And this got me out of this dark headspace. I was able to let go of those thoughts and feelings and go back to a place of gratitude for this experience and these lessons.

By midday, the injuries I had created completely went away. As if they were never there. Proving to myself that these pains and sensations are only around for as long as you try to hold on to them or try to make them go away. You have to accept that everything will keep changing. And that’s the law of nature, Anicca… Anicca… Anicca.

Although I do believe a lot of our injuries are created in the mind. I have some skepticism about this life of sitting. I just truly don’t believe this is good for the body. As much as you remain equanimous to the sensations. Down to the physical muscular level, I believe it’s not good to be so still. I think one, two hours a day. This is fine. But 12 hours a day, this is not good. The body needs movement, we were made for that. Not made to sit in stillness. And I understand that for this 10 days it is extreme, in so many ways. Like a boot camp. It's a lot packed into a short time. But the results are worth it. And I didn’t leave with any new injuries so I guess it wasn't really a failure after all.

Your cravings are what cause your suffering. I thought about so many times that I suffered. I was just so depressed in Switzerland for the last 3 months. I wanted so badly to find a job, to have a purpose, to visit friends, to make money, to be able to stop traveling, to have stability. I wanted these things so badly and when I didn’t get them, I sat in my own misery.

I see now that if I had this knowledge then, I would have found the gratitude that where I was in that moment was absolutely enough, that had I been able to see all the things that I actually did have, rather than only focusing on the things that I didn’t have, my experience would have been so different. But in that moment I chose suffering, knowingly. I chose to go to that place of craving and aversion and created my own pit of hell.

I cannot change the past and I release that time, now I can only learn to continue to find gratitude and peace in THIS moment.

Cravings of the future also cause suffering, wishing and hoping and dreaming that I will have this life that I so desire, it creates suffering. Because I don’t have it yet, I may be able to look forward to that life I want so badly and that may create some temporary joy, but in the moment that it doesn’t work out as I planned, if I am so attached to that dream, I will suffer. And I suffer when I don’t get the things I want.

The experience as a whole was filled with a lot of suffering and a lot of joy in the most balanced way possible. The tools I learned there are infinite and I have only just begun on this path.

I am in no way an enlightened being. I have just taken the first steps on this road. And it’s a very long and squiggly road. But I am here for it. I have never been so excited to be alive as I am right now. To breathe every breath, to live every moment on this earth. What an absolute blessing it is to just simply be alive and to have the freedom to witness so much beauty in this life.

Being aware enough to notice the subtle beauty in the most simple things, my coffee in the morning, the sunlight on my skin, the rain on my skin, the laughter of a stranger, this beauty is everywhere. It’s not in the quantity, it is in the quality of how much beauty you can notice. It’s everywhere, you just have to slow down enough to see it. And also in how unattached you are to that beauty sticking around. Enjoy the good things while they are here, and to not hold on to them when they are gone. Same with the bad things, the pain and sadness, recognizing that those things come too, and to feel their depths. Come back to this moment. In your body. Your physical body, that is impartial and impersonal to your struggles.

It’s all here.

It’s all now.

As we ponder the meaning of life, it’s become very clear. It is to LIVE. To live right now, in THIS reality. If that is waiting in line, or eating, or driving, or laughing, or crying, or dancing, when you bring awareness to this very moment, without being carried away with memories of the past and dreams of the future, that is when you are truly living. And when you can find peace there in that moment, that is it. That is all there is. There is no past, there is no future. There is only NOW. So the question is, are you going to constantly keep trying to escape this moment? You can try all you want, but you will only suffer. True liberation comes from being satisfied with what is here and now.

If you got this far, thanks for caring and being curious about this experience. I won't tell anyone what they should do but this experience is life changing and I think anyone and everyone would benefit from the experience and the world would be a much better place if more people had this knowledge and these tools to deal with their suffering.

May all beings be happy.

Love, Cara 🤍

*All images were imagined by me through the help of MidJourney ✨🤍

#vipassana #self healing #selfhelp #meditation #goenka #dhammapada #inner peace #self love #life changing

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takeeachdayonebookatatime · 2 years

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Castle fanfiction

Staring the cast of Castle

Why did you elbow me? Part 26

Day 2, 14 & 15

part 3

Ryan: pov She said it looks like illegal subletting of the apartments. I called Esposito to let him know. He arrested the building owner and brought him in for questioning. He admitted to everything the murders shooting Kate in the vest and illegal subletting of the apartments.

Esposito: pov I told the guy the officer you shot in the vest has a heart condition from a previous shooting and she is unconscious in the CICU and you could be charged with attempted murder of a police officer. You will be going away for a very long time.

Castle: pov twelve days have gone by. Her Regular cardiologist Dr Burkett had come back from Vacation a few days ago and took over her care from Dr Carter. He got back as soon as he could. We do the same thing every day: me and Jim stay at the hospital all day talking with Kate hoping she will wake up. Every morning at the same time Dr Burkett enters the CICU and wheels over the ultrasound machine to do an electrocardiogram on Kate. The only sound besides the Dr is the sound of Kate's breathing tube and the beep of her heart monitors.. Dr Burkett lowers the railing on the side of the bed and pulls a stool over he then opens her gown. He is very careful of all the wires and monitors on Kate and squirts the gel on her chest and moves it around her chest and over her heart. To make sure everything is okay. A nurse also does an EKG on kate. This happens while Lanie and the boys are at work. Alexis has classes and mother is teaching some acting classes to take her mind off of things. Me and Jim had just had breakfast when Kate's Dr said they are going to try and let Kate wake up. Her chest x-ray from this morning looked good and her left lung is all better. Now it is just her heart they are concerned about. I called Lanie. She said she will be there in 20 minutes Mother and Alexis said they will come by later same with the boys. While me and Jim were sitting with her she started to wake up and was freaking out. I tried to calm her down. I hit the call button and her nurse, Dr and Lanie came into the room. The Dr told me and Jim to wait in the hallway. Lanie was allowed to stay since she was an ME.

Lanie: pov as I arrived at the hospital I heard her Dr run by Saying Kate was awake. Once in the room it was clear Kate was awake. Castle and Jim were told to wait in the waiting room. I managed to calm her down. While Dr Burkett got ready to take out her breathing tube he shined a light in her eyes and asked Kate to follow it. Burkett asked her to move her toes and hands he also told her to cough so he could remove the tube once it was removed he switched her to a regular oxygen mask. She asked what happened in a hoarse/weak voice. I told her everything that happened to her. Castle and Jim came back into the room to talk with Kate. I was told to keep an eye on her for any signs of something going wrong or distress. While I was here in the room visiting Kate. A nurse gave her more meds. She slept most of the day Jim and Castle went to eat lunch while she slept. I was going to have a sandwich later when they got back. Tomorrow she was going for more scans. Her left lung looked amazing today. At 6:00 Martha and Alexis arrived to visit with Kate. I send Jim and Castle off to eat dinner. She woke up and we watched a movie for a bit. Once she was asleep again I quickly ate while the 4 of them stayed with Kate. Then At 7 I told Jim and Castle to go home and shower. Ryan and Esposito were coming in a bit to visit with Kate. The boys were so happy to see her awake and no longer with a breathing tube.

Esposito: pov we spent a few minutes with Kate. Talking about the case and how we solved it. Then We went home for the night. It was the next day and we had a lot of paperwork to fill out..

Castle: pov on the way to the hospital this morning me and Jim stopped at the store and picked up a few things. I asked the sales person if they have any women's button up shirts. I also asked her if she knew of any fun things to do while in a hospital bed. She asked who the items were for. I said for my wife Captain Kate Beckett she is in the hospital. She has a heart condition. Arrhythmia from a previous shooting. And thirteen days ago. While solving a murder case something happened and her lung started to collapse while at home and she went into cardiac arrest thankfully her lung is fine and her heart is doing okay. I bought some puzzles, Legos and I found some mystery games we can play. And some computer ones she could do by herself. They sound like so much fun I bought some short/no sleeve button up shirts. In case she gets hot I know Kate hates hospital gowns. Me and Jim also found a comfy blanket and pillow for Kate. We bought some other stuff too. She has a catheter in for now since she is not allowed out of bed.

Kate: pov I got moved to a regular room. I had my morning Echocardiogram and EKG before breakfast. Castle and my dad had stopped and picked up a few things for me on the way here this morning. The shirts were so cute and the blanket was so soft. I loved everything the mystery games looked like so much fun. Castle downloaded the first one onto the computer. To be continued…..

#books #reader #read #reading #bookreviewer #betareader #tvshow #fanfiction #katebeckett #castle #richardcastle

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icryyoumercy · 3 years

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other luxuries i keep forgetting my insurance pays for: if the regular hospital food options all have cheese baked over them, i can just have pasta and tomato sauce instead

#transitioning is hilarious #i feel like this is a very valid distinction #let me pay extra for non-necessary luxuries #because the i'm fairly sure i'm paying more for the privilege #of being picky with my food #than the actual pickiness costs #but it's a luxury i want #and it's not affecting the standard of care anyone receives #while still providing some funding for expensive but necessary things #that benefit everyone in the end #like i feel the real cost in healthcare #should be ... decorative? mostly #if it's medical necessity then there should be zero profit made from it #but if someone wants to be brought a cup of coffee and a piece of cake #every day at 15:00 while staying at the hospital #i feel like overcharging them for it #is a perfectly valid approach to wealth redistribution

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aehyei · 2 years

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𝗜𝗡𝗩𝗜𝗦𝗕𝗟𝗘

You thought everything will finally be alright when you manages to escape the hell of your ridiculously smart and rich ex-boyfriend, Kim Doyoung. But when you started experiencing things that no one could explain, that’s the only time you realize he was never going to let you go—ever.

PAIRING : ex-boyfriend! mad scientist! ceo!kim doyoung x reader

GENRE : !horror!au, !thriller!au, !yandere!au, !invisible man!au, !angst, !science fiction!au

WARNINGS : suggestive and dark themes, thriller, horror, mentions of blood, minor and major character deaths, unhealthy obsession, hospitals, murder, stalking, a very bad descriptions of fighting scenes, mental illness, suicide, reader not knowing she’s pregnant, cuss words, violence, mentions of guns and knives, toxic relationships, usage of drugs, major plot twist, mentions of unprotected sex (please tell me if ever i missed anything)

WC : 11.83k (holy fuck i’ve done that in straight three days)

TAG LIST : @my-soft-sunshine, @nanamericano, @itsanotherme, @luvinjeno, @valentineyun0, @glbyoon2k, @cheezbot, @furryllamas, @kingjeno423, @forhaever, @kristyxoxo, @ishokenmei, @nikisimpsharon + like this post to be added on my general taglist!

AUTHOR’S NOTES : this fanfic is heavily inspired by the film The Invisible Man. i liked the movie so why not make a doyoung ver am i right?

2:59 AM

Your heart thumped while you stayed wide awake in bed, staring at the table beside you. Just one minute, one minute before you could finally be free. Your breath hitches when the clock finally read exactly 3:00 am. Slowly and carefully, you gripped on your boyfriend’s arm around your waist and remove it with cautious movements. Kneeling beside the bed, you steadily lifted the bed on your side and grabbed the bottle of diazepam. Eyes never leaving his sleeping figure as you walk towards his side and lifted the glass of water, shaking it slightly to see how white-like-powder appear in the clear liquid.

Taking one last glance, you held your breath and approached the bathroom but froze immediately after hearing your boyfriend shuffle in the bed.

“Doyoung?” You almost whisper out, praying to the heavens that he did drink the water you gave him before going to bed last night.

When there was no response, you silently sighed in relief and stride to the bathroom in small but quick steps to throw the drugged liquid inside of the glass. Intertwining both of your fingers together, you puffed your cheeks and tried to control the anxiety bubbling inside of you. If Doyoung wakes up and finds out whatever your planning, you know that not only being locked up in his basement will be the punishment you’ll be having.

Gulping, you stroll on the huge closet inside of your shared bedroom and tiptoed to reach the clothes you prepared and the backpack that you’ve been hiding on top of the secret shelf that Doyoung doesn’t seem to notice. Once you took a hold of your needed things, you climbed up almost the ceiling to reach the CCTV and point it where he’s sleeping before finally leaving the room and silently closing the door.

In the hallways of the huge house, you didn’t even take your time taking in it’s walls for the last time— but instead, ran in light steps to the room where Doyoung always work at, when you accidentally bump unto the food bowl of your dog, Hyuck. The sound echoed in the quiet corridors, and your heart dropped. You opened your phone and checked the video tape if the loud sound had awoken him up, but much to your relief, he still remained peaceful and unfazed.

Now, you’re more aware of your surroundings as you climb down the stairs to the room. “The day we met…” You mumble to yourself, pressing the passcode on the pad.

08 15 17

The same day where you were blindly fooled by his gummy smile and sweet words, falling right into his trap. The memory was still clear to you, making you angry at yourself for believing every word that he said. Shaking your thoughts off, you look around to find a specific computer.

“Bingo.” You say, typing the same passcode on the computer and turning off the cameras of the cameras around the mansion except that one who’s still filming Doyoung. In a hurry, you slip off your nightgown and wear much more comfortable clothes, tying your hair into a bun before accessing more into the security system and allow the doors to unlock.

This is it.

You ran out of the hell you’ve been experiencing for the past few years, the sweet taste of freedom on the tip of your tongue when you were able to walk pass the front huge doors—and then you hear a whimper. “Hyuckie?” Your eyes widened, seeing the dog staring at you as if begging with his eyes for you to help him. The collar around his neck looking like it was made out of advanced technology. “H-Hang on, I’ll help you.” You say, dropping your bag and dug through it, finding something that would help you. “This could do.” Biting your lip, you let out a hair pin and pat Hyuck’s soft fur, smiling softly, “Run free, alright? Forget about this horrible place.”

The dog could only bark back making your eyes widened as you try to shush him lightly, “You have to keep quiet so he won’t find us.”, with a final turn on your pin, the collar opened and was thrown by the car near, making it set off an alarm. Hyuck did as you told and ran away while you repeatedly chanted curses and also ran to the open road, too afraid to look back.

“Come on…come on..” You impatiently waited, tapping your foot on the ground and raised your hand when you saw a car approaching you.

“Y/n? What’s going on? It’s almost 3:30 in the morning.” Your older sister, Han Yoojin asked with furrowed brows, watching you enter the car in a hurry. “Drive now, hurry!” You speak when a man’s voice was heard.

“Baby? Y/n? Where are you going?” A now awake Kim Doyoung asks, still wearing the same white plain short with grey joggers, tapping on the car’s window. He looked calm, scaring yourself to death. “D-Drive!” You remind your sister, screaming when your boyfriend repeatedly knocks, running along the vehicle when Yoojin presses on the gas. “Y/n don’t make me mad, come on now. Let’s go home.” He growled, the calm look in his face now replaced with panic. “Yoojin go faster!” You sobbed out, begging.

“But that’s Doyoung over right there? Aren’t we—“

She cuts herself off when Doyoung suddenly punches the window, causing the it to break and glass to fly, “Han Y/n! Let’s go home, now!”, he grunted possessively, knuckles bleeding yet he was still able to take a hold of your bag. Yoojin now understood why you looked so scared and stepped on the gas harder, the car finally going faster leaving your now ex-boyfriend no choice but too stop running as he knew that he didn’t stand a chance.

His face hardened when he watched the car quickly disappear from his sight. Blood dripping down from his hands. Doyoung looked down at the road, noticing the drug that must’ve fell from your bag when he forcefully tried to pull you. He picked it up and examined the small bottle, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip.

“Are you alright? W-What happened back there?” Yoojin asks, stuttering in between her sentence and took a moment to glance at your shaken up figure before looking back to the empty road ahead of her. You remained silent, tears falling down from your eyes with the look on Doyoung’s face still haunting you. Your sister sighs, thinking you need time to think for now and just extended her arm to take a hold of your hand, squeezing it.

TWO WEEKS LATER:

“Unnie! Dad! I’m off to school!” Dong Suyin calls out while wearing her shoes, hearing her dad’s laugh as he walks towards the door. “Alright, alright, have fun m’kay sweetheart? Remember, study well and no—“

“No boys, I get it dad.” Suyin huffs, rolling her eyes playfully. Her father, Dong Sicheng chuckles and ruffles her hair, “That’s my girl.”

“And don’t you have a job to attend to, Sicheng?” You appear in the frame, the laundry basket tucked in your right arm, smirking at them both. Suyin grinned, nudging her father’s stomach, “Yeah dad, don’t you have a job to go to?”. Sicheng frowns, wrapping an arm around his daughter’s shoulder and glared at you in a playful way, “Well, mom, today’s my day off and we’re hanging out together whether you like it or not.”

“Sucks to be you, unnie.” The youngest girl jokes, waving goodbye one last time to the adults before leaving out the door. “Any thoughts on how you became the greatest parent ever to exist?” You asked, pretending you had a mic before passing it to your best friend. Sicheng swats your hand away and gets the laundry basket out of your arms, carrying it instead like the gentleman he is, “How about you? Any thoughts on why do you think I’ll allow you carrying a heavy dirty laundry basket?”. Shrugging, you leaned your side by the window and eyed the mail box just outside the house.

“You wanna go out?” He asks carefully, knowing your trauma and he didn’t want to force you to do something you weren’t comfortable with. “I do want too, Sicheng. But…what if…w-what if he finds me? He’s filthy rich and smart as fuck.” You stumbled over your words, muscles tensed at the thought of your ex-boyfriend. “Alright, calm down, Y/n. I promised your sister to protect you and I will,” Sicheng rubs your back in comfort and places the basket of laundry down, “I’ll just put this here and don’t you dare carry them, I mean it! I’ll be back real quick, I just need to get the mails.”

You watched him stumble out the door, walking and grabbing all the mails just like he said and looking through them while walking back inside. “Huh, you seem lost in your thoughts. Let me guess, bills got higher, am I right?” You joked seeing the seriousness from his face. Sicheng nods, looking defeated, “I’m starting to think that I need more jobs.”

“Oh well, while you think of what job you want while cleaning the laundry, I’ll be on my laptop.” You nudge his shoulder, walking over to the couch and opening the gadget. “I’ll be in the laundry room if you need me.” Sicheng’s shoulders was slumped while walking to do the chores.

Sighing shakily, you stared at your figure using the camera on your laptop, seeing how dull and lifeless you looked despite still breathing. You didn’t know what came over you, but you covered the small camera with a small folded paper. The doorbell rang and your blood ran cold, freezing on your seat.

“Coming!” Sicheng shouts, jogging to the door. He peeked through the peeping hole and saw Yoojin. Glancing back at your figure, he opened the door and your sister came in. “What took you to open the door so long? It’s a simple thing to do, really. Just hold the handle, unlock, twist the doorknob, and viola! Opened.” She says in a sarcastic tone. The boy huffs, “I know how to open a door, Yoojin. I’m 32 and I have a kid.”

“Cool,” Yoojin deadpans, looking around and spots you on the couch. She grins and walks over, “Y/n! How have you been? Eating well?—“.

“—Yoojin what are you doing here? What if Doyoung followed you? W-What if—“

“Doyoung’s dead.”

“What?” You and Sicheng perked up at the same time in disbelief, going closer to her. Yoojin didn’t say anything but fished her phone in her pockets and showed you a news article, “Here. Read it for yourself.”. You didn’t know how to react while reading the header, heart pounding loudly by your chest. No, it was impossible. Someone like Kim Doyoung will never kill himself. You don’t understand.

CEO OF KIM COOPERATION, KIM DOYOUNG, FOUND IN HIS HOUSE DEAD. POLICE SUSPECTS OF SUICIDE AFTER SEEING EVIDENCES.

“T-This has to be fake, there is just no way he’s dead. I know Doyoung, and I also know that he wouldn’t pull this stunt.” You chuckle out dryly, shaking your head, still not believing at all. “It’s on the news now, Y/n and news don’t lie. Look, I know he did a lot, but it’s all over now. Your safe.” Your sister smiles, genuinely happy that no one will want to hurt you anymore. She’s right, you know. Maybe it is over, maybe he really did kill himself. Thank God that he’s gone.

“Come on Ladies, let’s sit down so we could talk comfortably.” Sicheng pulls the two chairs so you and Yoojin could sit down. The two of you comply and did as he told, him sitting across your sister. “Wanna talk about it now, Y/n? I know everything has been really, really hard for you, but I promise you’d feel better letting it all out.” She reaches to hold your hand again, knowing how much you feel comfort whenever she does that. “Y-Yeah…I think I’m ready.” You nod, letting out a deep breath before giving them a small smile.

“Doyoung…he used to be sweet and loving, always treating me and spoiling me with gifts I didn’t even knew I wanted or needed. He would show me all his experiments late at night and we would do normal couple dates. But when he asked me to move in with him on our 1st year anniversary, he changed. Doyoung started to get really possessive and controlling. He hates it whenever I leave the house or if I use my phone too much. Then it all became worse as days pass by. Starting by controlling me from what I wear, eat,…think..” You tried to summarize your whole relationship with your now dead ex-boyfriend, reminiscing on the old bad memories.

“D-Did he hurt you?” Sicheng stuttered, jaw clenched and eyebrows furrowed. You glanced at teary eyed Yoojin then at him before looking down at your lap, nodding, “Before I escaped, he started to become physical.”.

Everyone was just relived that it’s all done now.

On the exact next following day, you woke up with a huge smile on your face. Your body felt light and when you saw the sun shinning brightly– it felt really, really great. “Mornin’ unnie.” Suyin greets from beside you, snuggling closer under her covers. You tapped on her shoulder, trying to keep her awake, “Hey don’t sleep on me, missy! Today’s a great day, the sun is up, and most importantly, you have school.”. Her eyes shot up open at the mention of school and groaned, “Oh right. I thought today was a Saturday.”

“And it’s not.” You giggle at her annoyed state and rose up from the bed, stretching your limbs. Suyin follows after you shortly, rubbing her eyes tiredly while walking to the kitchen where her dad is. “Good morning!” Sicheng brightly smiles, sipping on his daily coffee after. You and his daughter chuckle in union at him and each took a seat by the counter. “Jeez, no one’s gonna greet me back? Okay, that is just rude. Dong Suyin, I raised you better then that. And Han Y/n, I expected more of you.” He rambled on, like how a dad would do.

“Then lesson learned, don’t expect things from me.” You giggled, gently grabbing a mug and make yourself a cup of caffeine too. Sicheng grumbles under his breath about how your acting like a bad example to his daughter—although you all know he’s kidding—and dusted off his shirt clean. “Are you getting the mails for today?” You asked, noticing how he’s eyeing the mail box from the inside.

“Yep, and I’m not ready to see what’s inside or how much anymore money am I gonna loose.” Sicheng speaks, his lips closing into a thin line after. “What about my college dreams?” Suyin frowned, lost in her own little world with the idea of working a part time job to help in the finances around the house too so she and her father could save up some cash for the future.

“What if…I’ll get the mails for you?”

The Dong’s stared at you, mouth agape a bit. Sicheng was the first one to speak up, eyes showing pure concern, “Are you sure Y/n? I know going outside is making you uncomfortable, you really don’t have too, you know.”. You nod and smile at him, “Yeah but now that he’s gone, I think I can handle. I can’t be hiding in the shadows and be a burden to you guys for my whole life.”.

“But you’re not a burden, unnie.” The young girl says, not wanting for you to feel that way. Your heart softened hearing how she truly cared for you, petting her head lightly. “Do you want me to come with you?” Sicheng still insisted. Living with them for two weeks, they treated you like you’re real family, took you in even if they have financial problems too. “I’m fine, Sicheng. I can do this.” You punched his arm gently and bit your lip, glancing at Suyin before taking a deep breath and walked towards the door.

You’re free.

He’s gone.

You felt like flying when you took your first step outside of the house, eyes looking up at the blue sky and then looking around the peaceful neighborhood. A smile escaped your lips as you took the mails and entered the house once again, “I did it!”.

“Congrats! Oh my god!” Suyin was the first one to congratulate you, pulling you in a tight hug while squealing. Her father following after and engulfed the two of you in his arms. It really was a moment to celebrate. Sicheng pulled away after a few seconds to rummage through the mails, trying to find if there are any more bills he has to pay– when he visibly stopped and slowly passed you one, “Hey, this one is addressed to you.”.

Looking utterly confused, you took the letter and examined it, “M-Me? Who would have sent it though…”, ripping it open, you felt your body grow cold seeing what it was about. “Are you okay? What is it-”

“Sicheng, please call Yoojin for me. I have somewhere to go.”

“What’s the matter? Why am I here?” Yoojin asks once she enters the Dong’s residence, rushing over where you are. “We need to go to Kim Cooperation.” You say, standing up to the couch and gripping on her arm. “W-What? Why? Y/n, it’s over, you need to let it go—“.

You cut her off by showing her the letter, urging her to read it too. She licks her lips and nods with a whisper, “Okay. Okay we’ll go.”

—

“How have you been, y/n?” Doyoung’s younger brother, Kim Jungwoo asks with an unbothered smile, ignoring the glare Yoojin gave him. “We didn’t come here for a conversation, Mr. Kim.” She answers for you, knowing that you did not want to have any connection with anyone who’s related to your ex-boyfriend.

“Of course,” Jungwoo clears his throat, his glance lingering at you before he opens the folder on the table and brings out the papers, the edge of his lips lifting a little, “My brother left 5 million dollars for you, under the condition that you don’t bring up any criminal charges against him. Sign here to take it.”, he then reaches for a pen and passes it to you.

“F-Five million, cash?” You sister stutters, stunned by the large amount of money. You glanced at her then at the current CEO of Kim Cooperation, nibbling at your bottom lip, “Okay,” you whispered, taking the pen and signing the papers to claim the money he had left you, “As long as I won’t have to be where Doyoung is”.

“But you are where he is.” Jungwoo smiles as if it’s a normal thing to say, making Yoojin hiss, “Mr. Kim, that’s not quite a great thing to say around my sister. We all know what happened and it is a sensitive matter.”

“Oh I know, Ms. Han,” Jungwoo continues smiling, looking over the jar by the table and nodding his head by it’s location, “There’s hyung.”. Gulping, you glanced where he said Doyoung’s ashes are and visibly is shaken up. “Alright, that’s enough. We have the money and now we’re going.” Yoojin gently guides you up from your seat, carrying your bag for you. You silently thank her and turn your head back to see your ex’s brother bowing down in a formal way, the suspicious smile still never fading.

—

“How was your small trip?” Sicheng asks as he opens the door, still dressed in his uniform. “Terrible,” Yoojin groans, rolling her eyes when you enter the Dong’s residence, “I would want to stay in here more, but work’s calling and my boss’ a dickhead. Take care of her, will ya?”, she grins and waves goodbye to her dear old friend before sparing you a reassuring comfort glance and finally left. “Was it that bad?” The boy asks again, following you to the living room. “It’s bad, but not that that bad.” You answered, placing your coat neatly on the couch, “Plus, I have a surprise. Call Suyin down here too.”

Sicheng furrowed his eyebrows, confused yet obliged at your request, calling his teen-ager daughter upstairs.

“What’s up?” Suyin grins when she reaches down stairs, her earphones still on her ears. “Y/n says she has a surprise for us.” Sicheng shrugs, wrapping one arm around his princess and waiting for any further instructions from you.

You took the paper from behind and passed the papers you signed that day to the family, smiling widely, “Now you could go to school without any worries and Sicheng, you don’t have to worry about bills that much anymore!”.

Suyin looked too excited and happy, taking a hold of the papers and reading them while squealing, “Oh my god! Unnie!”. Sicheng’s jaw dropped as he let out some chuckles in disbelief, a huge smile threatening to break but then tried to still look stern as possible, “Y/n, you can’t give us the five million, it’s your money.”. You shook your head, “No, you need it more then I do. It’s also a thank you gift for taking care of me these past few weeks and letting me live in here for free even if you struggle a lot with those shitty bills,” and then laughed loudly when the young girl pulled you in a tight hug, “Besides, Suyin has to go to school without worrying.”

“You’re the best!” She gushes, snuggling on the crook of your neck. “She is, isn’t she?” Sicheng finally lets the huge smile escape his lips, engulfing you and Suyin in his arms, a few of happy and relieved tears falling from his eyes too.

“Uh oh, he’s crying isn’t he?”

“Dad! Stop being a cry-baby!”

“What?! No! I just got something in my eyes.”

Suddenly, goosebumps started to rise up from your skin. You licked your lips and nervously looked around to see if someone was watching the three of you. There was no one. Yet still, your senses say there is.

“Y/n, you alright? We gotta celebrate.” Sicheng cuts off your deep thoughts and you smile, nodding at him, “Yeah, coming!”

“Yesterday was great, thank you.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle lightly while cooking breakfast, feeling Sicheng’s one arm wrap itself around your waist and a kiss on your forehead. “No like, I really don’t know how to repay you. Now I’m not afraid in opening bills, well, less scared.” He cackles up too, letting you go to fix his own tie. “I’m planning to get a job too, you know. Help around the house and once I got enough, I think I’ll buy my own too.” You tell him your plans, flipping the pancakes. “Why do you need to leave? Suyin loves you, I love you—, no wait. That came out wrong.”

You snort, agreeing along with him, “Yeah it sounds wrong, but I get your point! It’s just, I wanna live independently. Also, don’t worry, I’ll be buying the nearest house as possible so you and Suyin could visit anytime!”. Sicheng, now fixing his sleeves, chuckles, “Alright. Quick favor, wake up the sleeping beauty while I grab my coat.”

“Yes sir!” You playfully saluted and went on your way to wake the young girl up.

Just when you find Suyin already half awake, rubbing her eyes and making her way to eat breakfast, the food caught on fire and that alarmed you and woke her up fully. “Shit!” You curse loudly, heart pounding and looking around to see what would be a great way to turn down the fire.

A now fully awake Suyin rushes to grab the fire extinguisher, successfully putting the fire down. Sicheng rushes to run to the kitchen, wide eyed, “Is everyone okay? What happened here?”.

“I-I don’t know…”, you whispered, still in shock that you almost burned the house down, “I don’t know…”.

Later that day, you were left alone in the house with Sicheng at work and Suyin at school. Bored, you decided to walk around the small comfortable home to waste some time. You walked to the living room and stare out the windows, trying to see if anything interesting is happening outside when the front door suddenly opens. At first, you were confused, but then you thought that maybe Suyin got home early or Sicheng might just forgot and left something.

“Hey—…”, you cut yourself off seeing there was nobody outside. The eerie silence sent shivers to your spine, and your aware of someone else’s presence even if no one seem to be there.

Were you imagining things? Maybe it was just the wind.

Yeah, it’s just the wind. You settle on that thought, shrugging the fear off and coming back inside to lock the door close.

—

“God, I’m so sleep.” Suyin groans tiredly, snuggling on her covers that night. You grinned and laid beside her, covering yourself with a blanket, “I’m guessing school wasn’t that great?”. She closed her eyes and didn’t bother answering your question, falling into a deep slumber almost immediately. You sighed and fixed the blanket so it would also protect Suyin from the cold night and followed after her into dreamland.

It was peaceful, quiet, yet unsettling. You felt the blanket slowly getting pulled down up until it’s on the same level as your waist. Then the lights started to flicker as if someone was playing with them. “S-Suyin? I-Is that you?” You stuttered, raising your head a little to find the girl still in deep sleep. The lights are still turning on and off, making you sit up and look around— seeing a man’s figure by the corner. Your blood ran cold as you gasped, and then you realized it was just the standee display of Suyin’s favorite actor in her room.

Sighing in relief, you decided to call it a night. You stood up to take the covers from the floor and glance where the chair is, having some kind of staring contest with it. It felt like someone was sitting on the chair and staring at you, making you throw the blanket on it to check your suspicions. But much to your relief, there was no one. So you decided to pull the covers back when something was preventing you to.

It looked like someone was holding unto the other end, freezing your actions.

“S-Sicheng! Sicheng!” You finally scream. Suyin rose up from her bed, awake and startled from your loud voice and Sicheng bursts the door open, carrying a gun on his hand, “What’s wrong?!”, he asks, opening the lights. “T-There’s…someone else here…” you say, frantically looking around. The boy glances at her daughter who shrugs then back at you, “Y/n, calm down, no one’s here, okay? I promise you. No one will hurt you.” He calmly states, putting the gun on the near table and rubbed your shoulders to comfort you.

“B-But—”

“But nothing. It’s late, come on, we all need to get some sleep for tomorrow.” Sicheng cuts you off, staring deeply in your eyes. After a few deep breaths, you calm down and nod at his words in silence. “Okay, good night Y/n. Good night too, Suyin.” He smiles softly grabbing the weapon and closing the lights, leaving the door slightly opened before heading back to his room.

“If your still scared, you can hug me unnie.” Suyin offers, opening her arms. You chuckled and shook your head, tucking her properly on the bed, “Don’t worry about me, I can take care of my own.”

“M'kay, if you say so,” she yawned, sleep taking over her once again. For the last time, you looked around with the same unsettling feeling on your chest and lays beside her, trying to get some sleep too.

“Welcome Ms. Han,” The job interviewer smiled at you, shaking your hand. “Good morning Mr. Lee.” You smiled back, bowing down a bit to show some respect. “Gee, why so formal? Just call me Taeyong.” Taeyong says with a flirty smile, assisting you to sit down. “U-Uhhh, yes Mr. L— I mean Taeyong.” You apologized quickly, feeling quite nervous as it is your first job interview after years of being locked in Doyoung’s huge mansion. “Are you nervous?” He asks, noticing your stiff figure and took a seat in front of you.

“A little.” You admitted, clasping your hands together and rubbing them to try and calm your anxiousness down. “Don’t be, I don’t bite,” Taeyong giggles, “Okay well, I’m sure our company has emailed you a couple of days ago that you needed to do some work and impress us with what you can do. Can you show me?”.

“Yeah, it’s here. I prepared it day and night.” You took your suite case, opening it. Your smile disappeared seeing that your hard work wasn’t there. “Oh? That’s okay if you forgot! We could reschedule the interview.” Taeyong notices. “N-No. I really placed it here. I remember clearly that I put it here.” You started to ramble, suddenly feeling sick. You placed a hand on your stomach and groaned, standing up from your seat.

“Y/n?” Taeyong’s worried voice only added more to your headache. Before you know it, your world turned black as you pass out on the floor.

—

You stared at nothingness, aware of Sicheng’s presence beside you. His hand on top of your hand to help comfort you as he listens to the doctor.

“…She has to relax, keep her mind off things. At least up until the lab results come in. The hospital will call in if ever it’s available. Have a good afternoon, Mr. Dong and Ms. Han.” The doctor bows, turning his way to leave. Sicheng sighs and glances at your side figure with hooded eyes, worry laced in his deep voice, “You heard what the doctor said right? Just stay at home for now until we don’t know what caused you to faint.”

When you didn’t answer him, he adds, “Take a shower once we go home so you could relax. Come on.”

You let him gently drag you up from the hospital’s hallways, to the car. Ride back home was silent, no one dared to talk. Sicheng even turned off the radio knowing that none of you were in the mood to listen to some music. He opens the door for you as you walk in the house. “Remember, shower.” He reminds you, giving you a stern yet soft look.

“Okay,” you whisper, following his orders and went your way upstairs for a steamy relaxing shower. Just after your done, you heard your phone ring making you grab a towel to wrap it around your body before picking it up.

“Hello?”

“This is the hospital, may I speak to Han Y/n?”

“This is Han Y/n speaking,” you pause a bit, running your fingers through your wet hair. “Hello Ms. Han, the reason of why you fainted is because of diazepam in your system. We do not recommend you drinking those kinds of drugs as it will only affect your health. Please refrain yourself from taking them.”

Diazepam?

But you never took any diazepam…

“T-Thank you,” you say to the phone, stunned with what the nurse said and ended the call after. You walk back to the bathroom only to stare by the faucet in horror. There’s a familiar looking small bottle of diazepam with bloody fingerprints stain.

What was that doing there?

You took the bottle of drugs and changed into your clothes before rushing to Sicheng, who was folding laundry. “We have to go somewhere.” You demand, ignoring his protests and grabbing your coat. “What? Where? Y/n, the doctor said—”

“To the Kim Cooperation, we have to go.” You repeated, Sicheng having no more choice but to follow you.

—

“I can see your back,” Jungwoo states, surprised seeing you in his office. You stare at him in a few silenced seconds, grabbing the bloody bottle and placing it in front of him on the table. “I don’t understand?” He raises a brow, tilting his head a little. Sicheng, beside you, also looked at you confused, although the blood stains ticked something off him.

“This. Doyoung put that in the bathroom while I was taking a bath.” You point out.

Jungwoo poked his tongue inside his left cheek and relaxed a bit, shaking his head, “No, Y/n, my brother is dead.”

“He’s not dead.”, you stubbornly insisted, chuckling bitterly, “I think Doyoung figured a way to be invisible to scare me, to take revenge.”. Jungwoo calmly leaned back on his chair, continuing to stare at you while tapping his fingers one by one on the table. Sicheng clenched his jaw, his worry increasing more.

“Y/n, he’s dead. Doyoung is gone. Listen, he’s great at torturing people, both mentally and physically. He also ruined my life by getting into my head and I hated him so much. I was relieved when I heard Doyoung’s killed himself, Y/n. He’s a monster, a bad person.” Jungwoo explains a brief story of his childhood, still looking unbothered as he reaches down the shelves to grab some pictures taken by the police. “If you still don’t believe me then here are the pictures of his dead body.”

You looked down and clenched your fists under the table, eyes scanning the pictures of Doyoung’s body that has a puddle of blood under. The images was let out gruesome. Sicheng goes through them, examining, “He looks really pretty dead.”, he mumbles out.

It does show that Doyoung is dead, it was clear. Yet you still don’t understand the things that were happening with you.

“If you have nothing else to say, then please do leave. I still have a meeting after this.” Jungwoo glances at his watch, clicking his tongue. “Well then, we’ll get going. Thank you so much for your time, Mr. Kim.” Sicheng smiles, once again gently dragging you out of Jungwoo’s office.

“Now let’s go ho—”

“You go home, Sicheng. I wanna go to Yoojin’s apartment,” you weakly smile. “Alone? Are you sure?” He asks, taking a hold of your arm. “Yeah.” You nod, walking towards the bus stop to travel to Yoojin’s place.

—

You smile a bit, knocking at the door. When Yoojin opened it, she looked more annoyed then happy seeing you over.

“Yoojin, hi!” You smile, stumbling over your words, ready to tell her all the troubles that you’ve been feeling. “Why are you here?” Yoojin cuts you off, quite stern and rude with her tone. Startled by this, you stare at her confused, “W-What…?”

“No, I’m just surprised that you still came after the e-mail you sent me, remember? The one where you said that I was controlling you, and you described me as suffocating.” Yoojin looks down slighly, then back up at your eyes. Now you’re more confused, “N-No, Yoojin, no! I never sent any e-mails! It was Doyoung! Doyoung sent those e-mails.”

Yoojin nods slowly, “Doyoung? Kim Doyoung? Your ex that died?”.

“He’s not dead! H-He’s here, somewhere. Yoojin, please, believe me.” You begged, blabbering with tears started to form in your eyes. Yoojin sighs, shaking her head, “You need help, Y/n.”, then closes the door right in front of your face. The action caused your heart to shatter into pieces, not used to your sister treating you like that. After what happened, you ran back home— not even bothering to take the bus anymore. You rushed to the room and opened your laptop, clicking on the keyboard impatiently to type your password and go to sent e-mails.

And then you see it.

The message you never sent to your sister.

You started to sob uncontrollably, covering your mouth to muffle your cries as your knees suddenly felt weak, causing you to fall on the ground. You hugged yourself and continued to cry, now fully understanding that you were never free and he was never gone in the first place.

“Unnie?”

Slowly, you looked up and saw Suyin. You sniffled and sat up, trying to look presentable in front of the teenage girl. “H-Hey Suyin,” You greet her, looking down. She slowly sits beside you, silent for a while before speaking, “How about we have a girl’s night out tonight? Let’s kick dad out of the house and eat cake.”, she invites, trying to find the right words to comfort you. You chuckle at this, nodding, “Yeah, I like cake. Let’s do it, let’s kick your dad out.”

Suyin also laughs and tries to stand up, when an unknown thing hits her hardly, causing her to groan in pain and fall into the ground into a painful impact. You gasped and stumbled closer to her, “Suyin! Are you okay?! Wha — “

“S-Stay away!” Suyin screams, taking steps back to avoid your closer figure. You freeze on your tracks, jaw dropped wide open. “What happened in here?” Sicheng quickly enters the room, comforting his daughter. “S-She hit me!” the teenager points at you, looking really scared. “No! Suyin, you know I would never do that to you. I love you.”

“Woah, woah, stop right there Y/n,” Sicheng raises a hand to stop you, placing Suyin behind him. “S-Sicheng I didn’t hit her!” You try to get closer again, only for the man to warn you to step back again. “I think you need time out, Y/n. We’ll be back soon, just…please…think for now.”, then he leaves with Suyin in his arms.

“It was Doyoung! He did this!” You shout from behind them, shutting yourself up when the door was slammed. Tears one by one started falling from your eyes again, whole body shaking as you again screamed alone at home, “Kim Doyoung! I know your in here! Show yourself! Hurt me, don’t hurt the kid!”

nothing.

You took huge steps towards the kitchen, grabbing a bag of coffee then poured it unto the floor of the living room to the bedroom, then you also took a knife and held on it tightly, pushing the box away and sitting on the edge of the room, eyes never leaving the black powder on the ground.

“Why me?”, you began talking, believing firmly that Doyoung’s around— somewhere, “Why me, Doyoung, when you could have any better girl you wanted. Someone who’s prettier, someone who’s richer”, you chuckle weakly after.

“So, why me? I’m just a silly girl who stumbled over your life at a party. You have nothing else to take, Doyoung, you already took everything from me. Please…please just leave me alone,” you begged, eyes started stinging with tears as you rested your head on your arms, sighing deeply. An idea enters your mind and you stood up, taking careful steps to avoid the coffee powder on the floor and took your phone. You stared at the contact number and pressed on it with shaky fingers.

You wait for a few seconds before a vibrating sound caught your attention, looking around, you then look up and notice that the sounds came from the attic. You ended the call and walked to the hallways, climbing the ladder to enter the top part of the house.

It was dark. You flicked the flashlight in your hands open and looked around to observe the dusty place. Reaching to your pocket, you grab your phone once again and dial the number, waiting for the vibrations. When you heard it, you crawled your way towards it’s direction to find Doyoung’s keys of his car, a knife, and the design work that you remember placing on your suite case for your job interview. It was all making sense. Then you saw another phone near and opened it with ease as there were no password, looking through the photos taken of you and Suyin sleeping at the bed. You started to shake uncontrollably, you found it hard to breath.

Then you see the phone ding in your hand, a text following.

[10:49 pm] SURPRISE!!

You heard a noise from behind you. With careful and slow movements, you grab the bucket of paint and threw it on the air by the opening of the attic, startled and surprised seeing a man’s figure now exposed thanks to the paint. You screamed but quickly followed the strange looking suit down to the hallways of the house. The grip you have on the knife on your left hand was enough to show how feared you are, all the nightmares you thought you escaped— you never escaped, in the first place. Doyoung will and always will be there for you, whether you like it or not.

The sound of the faucet made you jump on your place a bit, rushing where the kitchen is to find evidences of white paint being washed out. Someone grabs you from behind, lifting you abruptly then threw you on the side of the wall. You coughed out in pain, hissing at the impact and looking around just to see no one, “Doyoung!”, you call out, standing up once again and tried to run where the coffee powder is scattered so you could see his footsteps— when someone grabs your shirt and pulls you back to the kitchen. The invisible man strangles you down the ground, grip on your neck tightening.

You struggled to move, chocking and trying to get the hand you could touch around your neck away from you, feeling the air on your lungs being stolen. Just when you were about to loose hope, you remembered the knife you hand and used it to stab the man from his side, causing him to move away from you. You gasped for air and didn’t waste anymore time— running out of the house in a hurry.

You tried to book an Uber, still frantically looking around in the streets. When the car arrived, you entered and slammed the door close, still panicking, “D-Drive, please!”. The driver glances at you for a while before doing as you said, driving over where you booked at.

You arrive at the huge gates of your once called ‘home’, gripping on the leather seats tightly, you speak to the kind Uber driver, “Hey uh..can you wait for me? I’ll be back quick, then I’ll pay you extra so we could go back to the city.”. He nods and smiles through the review mirror, “Yeah, of course.”

You step out of the car, entering the cages where Doyoung has kept you hidden in for in years. Able to get inside the huge mansion, you were surprised when Hyuck came running towards you. “Hyuck! I missed you!” You managed to giggle, petting the dog with love. The dog barked as his tail waggled, excited to see his owner again. “I’m so happy your alive,” you breathed out, finally standing up and making your way down to the basement laboratory where Doyoung worked most of the time.

With Hyuck following you around, you found yourself standing in front of one of the advanced looking technology gadget, eyeing it carefully. Then, you press your hand on it’s screen and moved it around, startled to realize that it was a camera. You tried to figure it out, pressing random buttons on the tablet— deactivating on what seemed like an invisible suit. Your breath hitches as you slowly got closer, caressing it, “I knew it,” you whisper to yourself.

You took the suit when Hyuck started barking and ran towards another direction, alerting you that you were not alone— someone else was inside the house. You quickly went to the bedroom, hiding in the huge closet. You saw the closet door slowly open by itself, then you looked down to see someone else’s footsteps visible on the carpeted floor. Counting to three, you push the manly figure and fall to the ground, Hyuck barking loudly where the invisible man stands. You didn’t waste anymore time and took a run, going back to the car.

Now you know you aren’t crazy.

Kim Doyoung is alive.

“Hello! Please drive now, I’m quite in a hurry,” You instruct upon entering the vehicle, a deja vu of what happened at the first time you entered his ride. The driver didn’t find your paniced look suspicious and just did as you said, driving as carefully yet fast enough. You dialed Yoojin’s number on your phone and placed it by your ear, begging the heaven’s that she’ll pick up.

“Y/n?”, you hear her voice.

Breathing in relief, you started to speak, “Please, meet me later night. I know I sounded like a bitch at the e-mail sent to you but please, I really need to meet you. Yoojin, please…”, you begged. Yoojin sighs, knowing she couldn’t stand being away from you for long anyways, “Alright fine. At the restaurant we always went too as kids, meet me there at 8.”.

—

It was decided, and you arrived at the restaurant exactly at 7:55. You looked around, knowing well that Doyoung could be anywhere at this moment. “Y/n, what’s going on?” Yoojin was still pissed, you could tell, but you saw the worry in her eyes as she took a seat down in front of you. You let out a shaky breath and started to explain, “I-I know you think I’m crazy…but I have proof. I have proof that what all I said really happened.”

“You do?” She raises a brow, her arms still crossed. You nodded and looked around nervously once again, leaning closer, you decided to whisper, “I went to—”

“Hey ladies, I’m the waiter who’ll be with you for this lovely evening. My name is Moon Taeil, anything you would want to order?” Taeil, the waiter, smiles warmly at the two of you, not meaning to cut you off. Yoojin smiles back at him, clicking on her tongue, “Well, we’ll just have water for now. Thank you so much Taeil.”. He nods and walks away to prepare the drink your sister ordered. “Sorry? You were saying?” She apologizes, telling you to continue. “I went to Doyoung’s house and saw the invisible suit I’m sure he has been wearing to terrorize me, to make me look like I’m crazy. I have the proof.” You carried on.

Suddenly, the knife set on the table slowly floated, and you and Yoojin glanced at it. Before you could do any action, the sharp object sliced Yoojin’s throat in a lightening speed and on the next second, it was on your hand. You didn’t breathe as you glance at your now dead sister, in front of you, blood flowing down. A patron in the restaurant looks over your table and screams, pointing at you and standing up. The rest of the customers follow after, thinking that you just murdered someone.

You slowly stood up from your seat, feeling like your feet wasn’t touching the ground. You felt lightheaded as you dropped the bloody knife, shaking hands buried on your hair, “N-No…no…no…”, you tried to deny it. You tried to convince yourself that it was all a nightmare and that when you wake up, Yoojin is still alive. You didn’t even feel it when you were pinned down by some of the waiters or how the police placed the hand cuffs on your wrists. It was all a complete blur to you.

When you got back to your senses, you realized that you were taken inside of an asylum, then started screaming, “I didn’t do it! I said I didn’t do it! Doyoung killed my sister! Doyoung is still alive!”

The police officers ignored your cries, forcing you down on the bed and tying your limbs up. While being tied up, you tried kicking your legs free and stared at the empty space of the room, “I see you! I fucking see you!”. The nurse gently injected sleeping drugs into you, making your eyelids turn heavy. The last thing you hear before your sight turned black was footsteps getting closer to you, and a familiar voice whispering.

“Surprise…”

It’s been a couple of days with you being isolated in the small room that includes a small bathroom and a bed. There were no windows and there was only one door that is shut tightly. For moments like this, you’d still cry to yourself about the sudden death of Yoojin, blaming yourself for what has happened even if you knew you did not murder your own sister.

Would things must’ve been different if you never attended the party you met Doyoung in the first place? Would it change things if you would have never escaped the hell you didn’t know you entered?

You heard the door open, making you tilt your head. There, you see a nurse with a police officer beside her. “You need to be interrogated,” the officer says, cuffing your hands from behind and guiding you to another room where Sicheng and another guy who’s unfamiliar to you is waiting.

“Y/n,” Sicheng breaths out, gulping seeing how messed up you looked. You nod at him, greeting him back in silence. “I’m detective Qian, the partner of Sicheng.” Kun introduces himself towards you, giving you a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “We want to help you, Ms. Han. But in order for us to help you, you have to tell us everything. The whole truth.” The detective continues.

You know the news about Yoojin’s death reached Suyin and Sicheng. You know that they all think that you killed her. You know that they all believe that your one insane woman.

Your attention wasn’t quite fully on them, your eyes darting between their faces and on the empty space by the corner of the room, feeling stalked. “Y/n?” Sicheng calls for you. You look back at him and started to talk in a hoarse voice, given by all your cries, “Doyoung killed her. I saw the proof that he’s still alive myself when I went back to his house. But I can’t tell you what it is because he’s in the room and you can’t see him.”

Kun lets out a heavy breath, leaving the room.

Now it’s just you and Sicheng. He stares at you with emotions you can’t read, he looked dead serious and intimidating— not the same Sicheng you used to see everyday back at home. “Do you believe me?” You ask, staring back at his dark brown eyes. “Yes,” he lies, licking his lips, “Suyin misses you, a lot. Get cured and come back home.” He says before leaving too.

You were taken back to the same room where you slept and bathe, locked up in it again like you were some kind of animal.

“I know you enjoy seeing me like this, Doyoung.” You whisper, knowing well that he was near and that he could hear you.

—

“Y/n, remember when you took a laboratory test at the hospital when you fainted?”

You nod, staring at the wall in front of you.

“Did…did you know you were pregnant?”

You look at her, shock visible in your features, “W-What?”.

The doctor shakily chuckles, nodding her head, “Your pregnant by a month now, Y/n. Congratulations.”, then exits. You stayed frozen on your seat by the bed, your brain still trying to process by what she said. You’re pregnant. With his child. Unbelievable. Doyoung had more tricks under his sleeves then you expected.

You glance down your stomach, a tear slowly rolling down your cheek to the fabric of the clothes your wearing. Placing a hand gently on top of it, you caressed your belly.

“Oi, you have a visitor,” An officer comes right after the doctor, opening the door for the two nurses to escort you out. Who could it be? Suyin? Sicheng? The detective? Yoojin?

“Take you, officer.” Jungwoo giggles and stands up from the chair, bowing down. He bows back and leaves with the two nurse to provide some privacy. “Well? What are you still doing there standing up? Sit, sit.” He motions at the other empty chair. You obliged and sat there in silence, waiting for him to explain himself unto why he decided to visit you in the asylum.

“I know about you’re pregnancy,” he says, intertwining his fingers together by the table, “but since you’ve been brought up on criminal charges and potentially rules mentally incompetent, you’ve lost the right to my brother’s money.”. Your lips twitched, fighting the urge to punch him in the face, “You’re just like him, Jungwoo. You’re him but a little softer. He’d be the brains and you’ll be the body. Your both just as narcissistic.”.

Jungwoo ignores your comment and took another set of papers in his suite case, setting them to the table with a pen, “You have two options. The first one is to sign these documents and forfeit the money. And the second one is to have the baby and go back to Doyoung Hyung. I could give you a new life with Hyung in one phone call, Y/n. It’s all up to you.”

In complete anger, you rudely threw the documents on the floor, glaring at him. The man clenches his jaw, giving you a look before turning on his back to pick them up. While he was busy, you quickly reached and stole one of the pens in his bag, hiding it on the sleeves of your clothes and taking one of the chewed up gum on the bottom of the table. “I know it’s a difficult decision, so I’ll be back in 2-3 days. I hope you already made your mind up then. See you soon again, Y/n.”, Jungwoo fixes his things, not knowing what you did, and made his way out.

It’s night, the orderly does her usual nightly check in your room, thoroughly making sure that there were no sharp or other unnecessary items.

“Open your mouth”, she orders, holding your chin. You followed. “Tongue up, tongue done”, when she sees that there was nothing, she nodded and greets you good night before leaving.

Once she was done, you stood up from the bed, going to the showers. You tiptoed and reached for the pen you’ve hidden on the very corner of the ceiling, sticking it with the gum. You opened the shower, not even minding how wet your hair and clothes are starting to get from the water. Lifting your wrist, you grunted, “You won’t get me, and you won’t get the baby.”, and removed the cap of the pen, stabbing the side of your wrist with it. Blood started to drip down your skin, disappearing on the drainage of the shower.

It hurts. It’s hurts a lot. But nothing could compare to the pain Doyoung has given you throughout your life.

When you felt a hand stop you from injuring yourself any further, you smirk and look up, “There you are.”

You stabbed the invisible man with the pen your holding, again and again until the suit started to malfunction. One of the guards that is on duty on that night realizes something was happening inside your room and entered, “Hey, Hey! What’s going on in he—…”, he cuts himself off, loss of words seeing a malfunctioning suit by the corner of the room. He goes and tries to shoot the strange man, but then the invisible man turns the gun to face it on the guard, pushing him to the wall and shooting. You saw an opportunity to run, and so you did.

“What do you think you’re doing? Go back to your room.” Two more guards show up, hands are ready on their guns in case you do any sudden movement. “P-Please, let me go! He’s in there!” You pleaded, trying to get their pity and belief. The malfunctioning suit appears in the hallways, startling the two. They let you go and also tried to shoot him when he grabs one on the neck and forces the gun on her stomach, shooting it. He then turns to the other one and shoots too.

Breathing heavily, you try to run again but more keep coming. One by one, they were all killed without mercy by the invisile man. After killing the last guard on the floor, the man drops the gun and you grabbed on it, continuing your attempt to escape. You see the glitching figure also running after you, making you cry out and try to keep up your steps faster.

“Ma’am, please stay inside—”

“Stay back!” You say, pointing the gun on the nurses you tried to stop you. You continued to run until you were finally to exit the facility, noticing the heavy rain falling from the sky. For a moment, you closed your eyes and imagined it was Yoojin crying for you from the heavens, then you hear a noise.

“Doyoung!” Screaming, you felt like a madwoman. All you wanted was to be free, was that too hard to ask?, “Where are you?!”. A rustle was heard on your right, and you gathered all your courage, grip on the gun your holding going tighter as you get near. You see a car with an open trunk and go closer to it, trying to see if there was any glitching figure. Yet, the invisible man grabs you by your neck, lifting you up the ground with ease, “You’re one stubborn bitch.”, he first says, snickering, “If you don’t behave like how I thought you too, then I’ll be first to hurt the ones you love. Maybe…Suyin?”.

“N-No! L-Leave her alone in this!” You struggled to speak, voice breaking in fear for the young girl. “Freeze! Keep your hands in the air!” Another officer decides to interrupt, his eyes widening at the sight. The invisible man took the gun in your hands, shooting him in the leg in speed before tossing you to the side and running away. You wasted a few seconds gasping for air before stumbling with every step you take to follow after the suit.

You look around at the streets and noticed a car driving at a fast speed, looking like it’s about to run over you. At instinct, you flinch and move away, allowing the vehicle to crash into another one with the clumsy driving and finally succeeded in getting away.

“Fuck!” You cursed loudly, running to the car which the invisible man previously bumped into, apologizing to the driver again and again while forcing the wounded man out of the car to chase after him again.

While driving, you tried to call Sicheng.

“Sicheng, oh my god! Thank goodness you’ve picked up, listen—”

“Y/n? W-What are you doing? What? How did you get to call me?” His voice showed worry and panic. “Suyin’s life is in danger! You need to come home, now!” You warned him, ending the call afterwards.

—

The invisible man unlocks the door, taking steps inside the Dong’s residence. He slowly entered the teenager’s room, silently observing her sleeping figure for a while.

Suyin steers, she felt unsafe and uneasy. Her eyes opened as she looked around her room, goosebumps rising up her skin. “I-Is anyone there?” She asks in a whisper, not even knowing who she was talking too. She clutched more tightly on her blanket, knuckles turning white from the tight grip. When her shoulders began to relax, someone suddenly grabs her hair, dragging her out of the bed.

Suyin screams, struggling to escape the invisible creature, but it was no use. She was harshly thrown to the floor. “P-Please! Don’t!” She continues to scream, fear enveloping her completely. When hands were around her neck, forcing her up to the air, she closes her eyes, choking. All Suyin could hope was that someone would comfort her father if she’ll be gone just before the sun rises.

“Dong Suyin!” Sicheng enters the house, surprised to see his daughter floating up the floor. Then he sees the suit malfunctioning and his heart dropped, not even hesitating to lift his gun and shoot the strange man, “L-Let her go! I’ll shoot you, let her go!”. The horror of loosing her daughter made his world crumble— he once lost the woman he loved, and he’s not loosing another one. Loosing patience, Sicheng shoots the gun, aiming at the leg.

The invisible man groans in pain, finally letting Suyin go and and limping towards Sicheng, disappearing from his sight making the detective be on all his senses, cautiously looking around. Someone suddenly hits his head on the wall, causing Sicheng to loose his grip on his gun. He felt his head spinning from the impact, yet he still stood up, lifting both his fists and punching the air randomly, wishing he could hit anything, anyone.

But someone beat it to him, kicking on his knee cap, making Sicheng kneel on his knees. The invisible man throwing punches on his face again and again, merciless, not even caring if blood flowed down Sicheng’s nose.

“D-Dad…” Suyin whimpered, seeing her father getting murdered yet she couldn’t do anything about it but cry and beg the invisible man to stop.

You still looked like a huge mess, a hand on your stomach as you enter the Dong’s residence after hearing Suyin’s loud cries. As you enter, you see the glitching suite strangling Sicheng and then you look down to see a gun. You took it and aimed it at the invisible man, “Doyoung!”. When he finally let Sicheng go and turned to face you, you didn’t waste anymore time and started shooting just before he could come closer to you. Suyin flinches with every gun shot, covering her ears while crawling to her beaten-up father.

The invisible man froze on his spot, exactly three gunshot wounds on his chest. He looked down then looked at you before falling on the floor, defeated.

“S-Suyin, take steps back,” You instructed the teenage girl, slowly approaching the body in the living room of the Dong’s Residence, placing the gun down and placing your hands on the mask, pulling it out to reveal the face.

“J-Jungwoo?”

There lies Kim Jungwoo, still has his eyes opened, yet his heart was no longer beating. Blood trailed down on his opened mouth. You kneeled beside his body, clutching on the mask and sobbing loudly.

Entering Kim Doyoung’s mansion, a tactical police unit enters all armed with guns, raiding throughout the house. When they reach the basement, they started to hear someone asking for help.

“10 o’clock,” one says, making gestures towards the wall. Another examines it and nods his head, moving away so the rest could wreck it and see what’s on the other side.

“Help, please!”, Doyoung begs, still wearing the same pajamas he had on the night where you left him. He had a bruise by his left eye and a cut on his busted lip, wrists tied up with a rope and his ankles tangled in chains. “Help me!”, he said once again, trying to get his limbs out.

—

“Doyoung was found in his own basement, Y/n.” Sicheng lowly says, his hand on top of yours. The bandage on the side of his eyebrow was just one of the scars of what happened three days ago. You shake your head and squeeze his hands, looking up to meet his eyes, “No, Sicheng. Jungwoo didn’t do this to him, it was Doyoung who staged everything up and made himself look like the victim. He’s the one who killed Yoojin and terrorized me.”, you stubbornly insisted, not believing Doyoung’s acts one bit.

“Y/n, the body that’s on my living room right now is Kim Jungwoo’s, not Kim Doyoung’s—”

“You see? This is what he do best. He tries to make me look like the crazy one.” You chuckle dryly, shrugging a bit. Your old friend sighs and nods silently, “All charges against you are pulled down, you’re proven innocent, but so is Doyoung. If you really think that he’s the one who did all these and just staged everything up, then we need to have evidence.”

You know he’s right. You look up and try to think of a way how to trick your overly smart ex-boyfriend, then an idea struck you. “Doyoung always wanted a child. He never uses any protection and hates it whenever I take birth pills. Whenever we had sex, he would always cum inside of me and on nights, he would tell me how much he dreamed of a family.”

“Are you saying…?”

“I could lure him in. I’m pregnant with his child, Sicheng. If he really wants a family, then he’ll have to confess.”

—

So it was settled.

You now stood in front of the mansion, seeing the lights opened. Doyoung stands there by the door, giving you the same gummy smile that you were first in love with.

“Y/n, you look amazing.”, he breathes out, eyes examining you as his ears and neck flushes red. You continues staring at him blankly, not interested at all, “I don’t feel amazing.”. Doyoung nods at what you said and his smile fades a little, opening his arms, “A hug?”.

Disgusted. That’s what you felt. Yet you walked right in his arms anyways, letting him hug you like he used too. “I missed you baby,” Doyoung whispers by your ear, breathing in your addicting scent, “I missed you so much.”. You move away from him, shaking your head, “Let’s go inside, it’s cold.”

He smiles again, his arm still glued around your waist while he opens the glass door and guides you inside the house like a gentleman.

“I cooked all the food you liked, pasta, steak, and I even made salad for us to enjoy.” Doyoung chuckles and scratches the back of his head, looking innocent. He then rushes to your side and pulls the chair for you, helping you sit down before taking a seat himself. “I know I was a jerk, an asshole, and I also know I treated you the way you didn’t deserve, I’m so, so, sorry, Y/n. I’m really sorry. It’s just, I was scared. I love you so much that I started to be a little crazy. But I learned my lesson, I promise. When Jungwoo kidnapped me, I wanted to protect you from him, but I couldn’t do anything. Baby…My Han Y/n…you’ll always be my first and only love.”

You listened to what he says and clenches your fists tight, trying your best not to break down in front of him, “If…If you want to be part of this baby’s life, then I want you to admit it, Doyoung. Admit that you’re the one behind the mask.”

“But I’m not, baby.” Doyoung swears. “Stop calling me that.” You warn him, glaring and gritting on your teeth. “Y/n it was Jungwoo. He’s the brain under everything. Turns out, he had feelings for you too and wanted you all to himself. That’s why he did it.” He tries to convince you. “Okay,” you say after a few minutes of silence, “okay…”.

Meanwhile, Sicheng stayed on the car that’s parked near the gates, hearing every word shared between you and Doyoung thanks to the wire tap located on the back of your dress. He focused on how Doyoung’s voice is, trying to identify if he sounded guilty or sounding like he’s hiding something.

“I’m sorry..” You apologized, sobbing and covering your face as you let your tears fall freely. Doyoung coos, coming over your side and kneeling beside you, gently guiding your head for you to lay on his shoulder, “It’s okay, let it all out. Remember? Only I care for you, only I can love you..”, then brushes his soft lips against your ear, chuckling lowly, “Surprise.”

You pulled away immediately, straightening yourself and sniffling. Doyoung wipes your tears gently, muttering under his breath how beautiful you looked. “I-I guess I’ll go clean myself up, huh?”, you giggle, standing up on your feet. “Of course, baby. Take your time. Say, after dinner, what if we watch a movie, hmm?” He offers you, placing a hand on your stomach to caress it and placed a kiss on your forehead.

As you leave to the restroom, Doyoung walks back to his seat. Smirking slightly to himself and calmly waits for you to come back. He fixes the watch on his wrist — when he felt someone tug on his right hand, forcing him to grab the knife on the table. Doyoung creases his eyebrows in confusion, struggling to control his hand, his heart pounding loudly. His right hand that is now occupied with the knife was raised.

“S-Shit.” Doyoung grumbled under his breath, adam apple going up and down when the person controlling his hand aimed the sharp object by his neck, slicing through the skin painfully slowly. Blood dripped down from his skin and Doyoung gasped, finally getting control again and placing both his hands on his neck in surprise, his legs wobbled as he tried to stand up but fall in the ground.

Just on time, you leave the restroom and scream seeing your ex-boyfriend on the ground, surrounded by his own blood. You immediately grab your phone and call 911, rambling on and on, “H-Hello? P-Please hurry! M-My ex-boyfriend is bleeding, please!”, and ended the call.

Sicheng heard your screams and removed the headphones from his ears and rushing to run in Doyoung’s mansion.

You moved where you knew the CCTV wouldn’t catch you and the panic expression on your face was replaced with a smug look, kneeling down and remaining eye contact with Doyoung. “Surprise.”

With one last breath being released, Doyoung closed his eyes and let the angel of death take his soul.

You stood up, grabbing your bag and whistling, calling for the dog. Hyuck barks, running towards you and you smile, petting his head before walking out the door with him following you.

“Y/n! What happened?! Are you okay?!” Sicheng almost tripped from how quick he was, running towards you and placing both his hands on your arm, his eyes lingering behind the glass door to see Doyoung’s body. “Sicheng, Sicheng, Hey Sicheng, eyes on me.”, you call for his attention, his eyes going back to you, “I’m fine. He killed himself while I was in the bathroom, it’s all in the CCTV.”

“Killed himself?” Sicheng murmured, his grip on your arms tightening. “You heard it right? What did it sound like?” You ask him. “It…It sounded like…he killed himself.” The detective’s voice showed hesitation, but agreed nevertheless. He looked down on your unzipped bag and saw a familiar suit, his breath hitching. “Come on now, we have to go home. It’s late at night and Suyin’s all alone.” You break his trance, smiling.

Sicheng slowly lets you go, letting you leave first to the car. He continues to stare at Doyoung’s body before following after you.

Closing your eyes, you finally felt like the weight on your shoulders disappear. The first snow started falling and you giggle when you felt it on your skin, biting your lips to contain your laughs.

You’re free. You’re baby’s safe. He’s gone. He’s gone forever.

714 notes · View notes

nejiraez · 3 years

Text

one day, you all will know true peace when i stop making bakugou the default character to the maladaptive daydreamz i write. but until then...

get well soon! | bakugou katsuki

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader // 2.9k words

genre: fluff — contains spoilers from mha chap 298; includes kissing, thats it!

summary: free bakugou until it’s backwards!!! but until then, he appreciates having your presence around as he takes the time to properly heal.

the way i haven’t written a full fic since oct </3... but i needed to post this b4 aquarius season ends tmrrw...

He’s never had to stay this long in a hospital before.

Sure, there were minor check-ins that he had to tend to at the clinics every so often from the injuries he’s received, but he never had to stay more than a few days at hand.

“Only a couple more days until you’re discharged…”

The sound of your voice prompts Bakugou to shift his gaze away from the TV screen stationed at the corner of his hospital room to focus his sights on you. Deep shades of scarlet watch as your hands absent-mindedly pick at the white petals from the bouquet that his mother had gifted him.

Carnations, a ‘get well soon’ present that would prompt him back to wellness. They were becoming quite the eyesore. The stems were beginning to droop and dull in colour with how poorly maintained they had been kept for the past week.

“That must be exciting for you, yeah?”

Bakugou shrugs, but he’s quick to regret his slight movement due to the small wince that follows shortly after. Despite being placed in the hospital for a little over a week now, a great mass of Bakugou’s body still aches. “It’s whatever,” he mutters, dismissing the subject matter altogether, “I’ll be back to doing the same crap over again anyway, so it’s nothing special.”

Closing your eyes, you sink yourself further down into your seat near his bedside and sigh. The windows a few steps away from Bakugou’s left allow for the sun’s late afternoon glow to beam into his room. You’ve sat here with him for the past two hours and a half from when you first came.

“You’re so pessimistic, you know that?” You announce, resting your arms against the bed’s side rails, which promote access to you, propping your cheek onto your hands with your face turned towards Bakugou. “Always thinking so negatively.”

Choosing not to respond to your comment, Bakugou soaks in the brief silence shared within the confines of his room.

For the past few days, other than his immediate family, who was relentless about visiting him as much as they could- save for the days where work would pull them away- your regular visits were something that became apart of Bakugou’s daily schedule.

Wake up. Eat whatever shitty food the kitchen staff has to offer for the day. Wait through numerous check-ups and appointments, while the nurses examine the vital state of his internal organs. And then, he has a bit of free time to himself before either you or any visitor arrives at Hosu General hospital.

“I’m just telling it as it is.”

Bakugou would be lying if he said that he didn’t look forward to your visits.

Like Pavlov’s law, he’s grown conditioned upon awaiting your arrival every day, always finding himself sitting a bit straighter in his bed whenever 15:00 rolled around on the clock.

Growing bored with not much to do, Bakugou allows his eyes to wander the room, skimming each object with little to no thought before his eyes would drop down on your form once again. With your eyes still closed, Bakugou takes this chance to absorb your presence before him fully. Watching the tiny twitches that would happen every now and then on your face out of curiosity.

The amount of fear and dread that washed over you the moment you caught news of how Bakugou jumped in front of his childhood friend, Midoriya, to spare his life, in turn, putting his own on the line had you aching to the bone.

You were scared and couldn’t bring yourself to the thought that you would lose him, and there wasn’t much that you could do about it since you and a few others were far from where the main fight had gone down.

Regardless of whether Bakugou had a chance of waking up or not, you were still adamant about swinging by his hospital room as often as you could until the second day where he miraculously woke up. And caused an uproar as he did. He had to be restrained as he tried to check up on the others’ wellbeing as he did so.

To be placed inside of a room alone, with no one around to tell him what the fuck exactly went on, Bakugou was on edge. Hands down, that day would take the cake as being the most overwhelming experience he has had at his time here. Where were was Deku, for starters? And where did you disappear off to?

He really didn’t deserve you.

Pulling himself out from his thoughts, Bakugou breaks the silence to pester you with something. “Pass me that, will you?” He asks, nodding his head over to the sole snack that sat on his bedside table. Something that one of the nurses left behind for him after his physical exam.

You blink, snapping yourself back to reality. You crane your next behind you, following his line of sight to the bright Tarami packaging. “Sure,” you grab and toss it for him to take.

Bakugou grunts out his gratitude. “Getting to eat normal food again will be the pinnacle of my life,” he states, rolling the Tarami around in his hands. “They feed us nothing but literal dog water and bland shit. “

“I’m sure the staff is trying their best. You aren’t the only mouth they feed in here after all,” you say, referencing the fact that your other peers, such as Todoroki and Midoriya to name a few, found themselves in the same situation as he did.

“I fuckin’ guess,” he mutters in response, his focus shifted onto trying to rip open his snack but to no avail.

“Want me to - ”

“Don’t need it,” he says, cutting your sentence short. His bandaged thumbs are still fumbling to get a good grip on the plastic seal that stood in the way between him and his fruit cup. “This stupid gauze is just - ” The cup tumbles out from his hold and rolls out onto his lap. “Dammit!”

You smile at the display in front of you. Bakugou glaring at the container as if it had crossed him wrong was quite the sight to see. The fact that he has shown no signs of making another attempt at opening the seal gave you an indication that it was your turn to step in.

What a dork.

“Jesus, Katsuki,” you say, shaking your head at his stubborn nature. You take the fruit cup off his lap and, without issue tear the seal off before passing it back to him. He was too headstrong for his own good sometimes. “Nobody’s gonna bite you if you ask for help once in a while.”

Bakugou scoffs - losing steam now, he tips the rim of the cup against his lips, knocking back as many diced peaches he could fit inside of his mouth.

A mix of wonder and admiration suddenly crosses you as you study how quick he is to swallow down his food. Not even bothering to make use of the silver spoon left astray on the stand.

Bakugou silently chews. His cheeks have bulked up in size for the time being until all traces of food have been gone. Cute. “You’re so - ” You start but cut yourself short, wanting to enjoy the serene atmosphere rather than spurring him to the edge towards nagging at you.

You reach your hand out towards Bakugou, thumb grazing the corner of his mouth to clean the small mess he has made, to which he gently swats your hand away. His mannerisms were still the same as ever, never changing.

“I’m so what?” He asks, flicking his attention onto you as he watches the way your eyes linger on his face.

“You’re so amazing, was what I was going to say.”

“Damn straight.”

You half-heartedly roll your eyes at his narcissistic response and reach for your phone, checking the time. “Wow, it’s now getting to 18:00?” You exclaim, swiftly entering the passcode to your iPhone and so that your fingers could scroll to the Tokyo Train Navigation app to check the times of when you should catch the next ride home.

Bakugou brows bump together in confusion at your surprise. “What about it? That means you’re ditching me already?”

“Only for today though, the next train is coming in 30 minutes, and I gotta catch it before it gets dark out.”

As much as Bakugou isn’t a big fan of having your time spent together but abruptly short, he understands where you’re coming from, mentally putting himself in your shoes.

At hours like these, when the begins to sun hide behind the city’s tall, towering buildings, it isn’t an ideal situation to have you walking out alone in the middle of dimly lit streets where villains may lurk at any corner. Especially after the shit show that went down this past week with the jailbreak.

He’d have no problem walking you home at times like this, but he can’t. Not when he’s on a “house arrest” list with the staff of the hospital.

“Fine,” he replies, dropping his head into his hands, which then finds purchase through his hair. Pissed with the cards he’s been dealt with. Feeling like he should clarify about your safety, Bakugou pipes up, “Make sure you ask the front desk to have one of their idiot guards walk you to the station. I hear that they do that.”

“Yeah, of course,” you say, collecting your belongings from the ground. “Not trying to be edited in with the clouds.” A remark that was supposed to prompt a lighthearted, humorous feel to the conversation, but Bakugou remains tight-lipped as ever. A fitting expression for your grouch of a boyfriend.

“I’m serious. Text me when you get home too.”

“And so am I! I love my life.”

And he loves you-- was something that Bakugou refrains himself from saying. It was something that he still had trouble saying verbally but had no difficulty expressing.

You walk towards the door, ready to bid your counterpart a farewell, but he beats you to the punch.

“The hell are you doing?” Bakugou’s voice halts you from making your grand exit.

He stares at you sharply from his bed. Glowering with jaw taut as he eyes your hand placed onto the sliding door. “Cut that shit out, come back.”

“For why?”

You hear Bakugou breathe out a hushed hiss, becoming peeved at how evasive you were when he knew for a fact that you were aware of what he wanted you to do for him. “Come and do the thing.”

At his sudden inquiry, you finally turn around to face him. “What thing?” You prod, wanting to hear him say what he wanted out loud. To be straightforward with you for once rather than dancing around the topic like he always does.

Sidestepping the multiple wires and the IV tube that he was hooked up to, at last, you close the distance between you both. Finding yourself back beside Bakugou’s bed, and now settle yourself down onto the small space that he has created for you on his mattress.

You feel giddy. A hazy warmth exudes from your chest that spreads down to your toes as you watch the slow change of pigmentation in Bakugou’s face. Blotches of a soft, rosy pink littered his exposed neck, indicating the effect that had over him.

Caving in, Bakugou swallows down his pride and utters, “Kiss me…” His tone is wavering in the slightest.

There it was.

Propping your hand near Bakugou’s face to steady yourself, you nod. You’re gentle in the process as you move much closer to Bakugou, attentive as not to brush up against any of his wounds. “Okay,” you murmur.

You think to yourself about how pretty looks from your point of view. Admiring how Bakugou's plush and soft skin was despite the light bruises and scratches he’s gained from the fight, he looked very well-maintained for a hospital patient.

The more time that you take, you become aware of the fact that Bakugou isn’t above taking a fistful of your shirt and tugging you down so that you could meet his lips. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise you if he were to do so right now.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he waits. Patiently, for you to make your move and just fucking kiss him already. Though there’s only so much he can take before he breaks.

Feeling the bed dip beside him, Bakugou could damn near feel his heart hammering against his chest. “Hurry up and get on with it will you,” he chides, his striking features already beginning to twist into an unreadable expression.

You laugh, unable to bite back your giggles as the male fixed you with his signature scowl. “Look at you, being a bully to the person you want a kiss from...” You say, leaning in close, now only hovering a few mere centimetres from his lips, both of you desperate for what would come next.

“You’re so mean, I swear.”

And that’s when you decide to close the distance, pressing your lips together.

It was quite sweet, literally, for his lips tasted of citrus.

Bakugou does a poor job at suppressing down his groan the moment your fingers wind themselves into his hair. The pads of your fingertips adoringly dance across his scalp.

The kiss starts off relatively chaste, both of you relishing in each other’s warmth as you pepper several small kisses against him—your stomach ties into knots as you experience how gentle he was being with you.

Despite the dull aching pains that Bakugou could still perceive whenever he made broad movements with his arm, his hand steadily finds its way to reach up towards your neck, pressing you further against him to deepen the kiss, swiping his tongue upon your lower lip.

When your tongue comes into contact with his, it’s tentative and quick. And then it happens a few more times before fully feel comfortable enough to full-on kiss Bakugou.

Your thought process was growing muddled. Not a clear premise came to mind as his bandaged hand trails to the small of your back and back up again.

With every sound or hum of approval that you made way past your lips, it fed Bakugou’s desire to satisfy both you and his needs even. His thumb smooths over the curve of your jaw, easing your nerves each time you shyly pull away attributable to the great intimacy that swirled between you both.

He chases your lips, fervent on returning your energy that you were relaying to him, back tenfold. He loves you. So fucking much, and he only hopes that his appreciation and devotion may reach you.

You choke on a tiny gasp. “Katsuki - ” And that’s when he feels it, right in his chest. It’s as if he has been jump-started back to life, his heart quite literally skipping a beat at the sound of his name tumbling past your lips. It was adorable, and he wanted to hear you like that again. Say his name like that again, on loop without end.

Fuck.

With adrenaline coursing through your veins, your breathing was starting to grow laboured now, and you decide to break the kiss before things can escalate and before you miss your train.

Pulling away from Bakugou, the traces of confidence that you once had prior to the kiss have all but flung itself out the window, completely gone now. “I’ll, uhm -” You stammer over your words, brain trying to compose a proper sentence in spite of your current dazed state. “I’ll be back to see you again, with the others.”

With how flustered and scatterbrained you were acting, it stroked Bakugou’s ego beyond belief. A wicked smile threatens to split upon his face, but he bites it down along with his greed to ask for one more kiss before you go. “Tomorrow,” he affirms, flicking his eyes back towards the TV—an entirely new show publicized on its screen.

You hoist yourself up from the bed and stand to your feet, ignoring how your knees almost buckle. “Right,” you say. No fucking way were you this beat up over making out with your own boyfriend, for crying out loud- you thought as you wander towards the door, almost taking out one of the monitors in your trail.

Sliding the door open you step out, but you poke your head back in, stalling a bit so that you could look at the blonde for the last time that day. “But until then, get well soon, okay?”

Bakugou’s eyes stay glued to the screen, trying to distract himself from how damn sweaty his palms were, that or how he could feel the beat of his heart pick up in tempo. Its incessant pounding was all too much for him.

It’s so stupid how whipped he found himself to be nowadays. “I know,” he dismisses, a bit all too quickly. He wants your ass out before you have a chance to glance at the heart monitor he was wired up to.

Fortunately enough for him, you don’t. You wave and close the door behind you, your smile being the last thing he sees.

With the coast clear, Bakugou throws himself back onto his mountain of pillows. “Shit,” he curses, panting out a sigh of relief seconds after you were gone.

That was amazing, you were amazing, he thought, recounting the kiss. He swipes his palms against his sheets, being sure to get rid of any nitroglycerin that may linger to activate his quirk successfully.

Bakugou can’t stress how much he’s aching for nightfall to come, knowing that he would be one sleep from getting to see you again, and again, and again, until he would finally be let free.

But until then, as you had said, he had to heal.

And with the knowledge of you being around whenever he needed you the most, Bakugou was most definitely on the bright path to a speedy recovery.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bnha x reader #mha imagine #bnha imagine #bnha scenario #original #cress to charlize for snagging this screencap from a twt thread mwah

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just-dreaming-marvel · 3 years

Text

Love and Medicine ~ 5

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,300ish

Summary: Scott has issues with tampons. You get pulled onto one of Steve’s cases. (I do not own Marvel or Grey’s Anatomy.)

Everyone was piling out of your car in the medical center parking garage. It was the early hours of the morning and it was time for your shifts. This morning though, Val walked in the bathroom while Scott was just taking a shower. She walked in in just a tank top and underwear, grabbed his toothbrush and began brushing her teeth.

“You don’t understand,” Scott continued as you all walked into the building. “Me gonads, you ovaries.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Val said. “We are out of tampons.”

“You’re parading through the bathroom in your underwear when I’m naked in the shower.”

“Can you add it to your list, please?”

“What?!”

“Tampons,” you clarified. “To the list, it’s your turn.”

“I am a man!” Scott yelled. “I don’t buy girl products.”

“Ooo,” Clint grimaced. “I wouldn’t say that if you don’t want to get kicked out. Besides, I bought them last time they needed some. It’s really not a big deal.”

“Still! I don’t want them walking in while I’m in the shower. And I don’t want to see them in their underwear!”

“It doesn’t bother me, okay?” Val said. “Look at me in my underwear, Scott. Take your time. It’s no big deal.”

As you walked into the hospital and headed to the locker room, you spotted Steve down the hall. You bit your check because how could a man still look that attractive this early in the morning? All dirty scrubs and patriotic scrub cap. You got changed into your scrubs before meeting Gamora at a nurses station. Your group of interns was in charge of pre-rounds today.

“You are the first person they see in the morning,” Gamora stated, explaining how you all should act. “You say please. You say thank you. You apologize for waking them up. You make them feel good about you. Why is that important? Cause then they'll talk to you and tell you what's wrong. Why is that important? Because then you can tell you're attending what they need to know during rounds. And why is that important? Because if you make your resident look bad, she'll torture you until you beg for your mother. Now get out there. I want pre-rounds done be 5:30 am.”

You all nodded at turned away, heading to your patients.

“I better get good patients today,” you told Natasha. “Yesterday, I had two guys with colostomies who needed dressing changes every 15 minutes.”

“I’m gonna be in surgery,” Natasha responded. “Today’s my day.”

“On what?”

“Like I’d tell you.”

You squinted your eyes at her. “What do you know?”

“I know that I was here at 4:00 and you didn't get here till 4:30.”

“Tell me.”

“No. I'm not the intern who's screwing an attending.”

“I am not screw—“

As you turned the corner, you suddenly rammed into someone. Their hands found your arms, steadying you. When you looked up, you saw Steve smirking down on you.

“I was just looking for you,” he said.

“Oh, really?” You sqeaked, quickly clearing your throat. Natasha simply rolled her eyes before walking away. “Um, why are you here so early?”

“I have a cordotomy at 5:00. I'll be out at 6:00. I thought I might buy your breakfast before your rounds.”

“I’ve already eaten.” You moved out of his grip to head down the hall.

“What’d you have?” He asked, following you.

“None of your business.”

“You a cereal person? Straight out of the box? Or all fruit and fiber-y?” He laughed. “Waffles? Do you like waffles?”

“Fine, leftover grilled cheese. Curiosity satisfied?”

“That’s sad. Pathetic, actually. A good day starts with a good breakfast.”

“Look, I don’t want to be seen with you in this hospital. Okay? It's unprofessional.”

“I’m just an attending getting to know one of his interns.”

“The intern he slept with.”

“I barely knew you.”

“And it should stay that way.”

“You want me to be professional? Fine. I’ll be professional.”

You stopped to face him. “That’s what I want.”

“Then that’s what you’ll get.” He stared at you, glancing at your lips, as he leaned forward towards you.

“You’re gonna to be late for your cordotomy.” Then you hurried away.

“Nice talking to you, Dr. Grey!” His eyes followed you until you disappeared down another hall.

“You’re whipped,” Dr. Stark commented as he passed by. “A complete and utter, lovesick teenager who happens to be—“

“Seriously?!”

~~~

After taking care of a few patients, Scott found you walking up the stairs in the stairwell.

“There needs to be some rules,” he said.

“So, what, you and Clint can walk around in your underwear and we can’t?”

“It’s not the same—“

“Or that you can see bras just not panties? Or are we talking Amish rules here? Because if you think you’re gonna get Val to—“

“The amount of flesh exposed is not the point. You have to do something. It’s your house.”

“Clint seems fine with it.”

“Y/N—“

“Do you like Val? Is that what this is about? Do you have a crush on her?”

“Val? No. I don’t like Val. No. She’s not the one I’m attracted to.”

“Not the one.” You smirked as you opened the door and went to the nurses station you saw Gamora at. “So there’s a one?”

“That—That’s not the point! Look, there just has to be rules. I need to be able to—”

“Lang, L/N!” Gamora called. “Get Barton or Quill and head down to trauma. Rogers needs you.”

“Rogers is in surgery,” you replied, confused.

“He got pulled before he could start.”

“Great,” you breathed out quietly.

On your way to trauma, you found Peter and unfortunately had to tell him to come with you too. Walking into the trauma room, you immediately noticed what was wrong with the man on the stretcher.

“This look like—“ You began.

“Nails,” Steve interrupted. He held up on x-ray that should 7 nails in the man’s head.

“I can’t see my hands,” the patient complained.

“He’s conscious!” Scott exclaimed, completely surprised.

“Breathe, Scottie,” Peter said. “Don’t pass out.”

“Use 4 mg’s of morphine,” Steve ordered. “Titrate up to 10. You know what? I don’t want him to move.”

“I can’t see,” the man repeated.

“It’s okay,” you comforted. “We need you to be very still, Mr…?”

“Castro,” a nurse answered. “George Castro. He tripped and fell down a flight of stairs holding a nail gun.”

“Sick,” Peter commented with a nod.

“Somehow he managed to miss a blood vessel. That’s a minor miracle,” Steve said. “Optic nerve’s been affected. Can you feel this?” Steve poked George’s right side.

“No,” George answered.

“Numbness on his right side. What’s our immediate concern?”

“Infection,” you responded.

“Right. I wanna be pulling these nails out in the next half-hour. I need a CT.”

“CT’s are down,” a nurse stated.

“What?”

“They exchanged them out last night. Computer's crashed; have them back up by 1:00.”

“So typical. So what are the options?”

“An MRI?” Scott suggested.

“No!”

“Brilliant, Scottie,” Peter said. “The man's got nails in his head. Let's put him in a giant magnet. You want films from three axis points and a C-arm in surgery.”

“Excellent! You guys dig up research and find out if this has ever happened before. Go!”

The nurses and Steve began pushing the stretcher away.

“My wife, my wife, my wife,” George cried.

“She’s on the way, Mr. Castro,” you said.

“Stay with him,” Steve told you. “Keep him calm and look for changes.”

“Ooh,” George gasped. “I can’t see.”

You and Steve shared a concerned look.

“Watch him,” Steve instructed. “Carefully.”

With a nod, you and the nurses took George to a more private room. You’ve been asking him questions to fill out his chart.

“Would you say that your health has been good recently?” You asked.

“Maybe some headaches,” George answered. “Nothing compared to now. Sally, that’s my wife. Sally, she’ll say, ‘why you think they call it a gun, moron?’ She hates the damn thing.”

“With good reason.”

“Baby?” A woman called, entering the room with Steve.

“Sally,” George responded.

Sally rushed to his bedside. “You are in so much trouble.”

Steve leaned in to whisper to you. “Get a history from her before you scrub in.”

You had to hold in the shiver that itched to be released. “…okay…”

“Thank you.”

You met his gaze. He definitely knew what he was doing to you, and enjoying it way too much. After asking George more questions, you allowed the nurses to prep him for surgery while you talked to Sally outside of the room.

“Will he be able to see again?” Sally wondered.

“We won’t know until the nails come out,” you replied.

“Did he tell you he takes photos? Beautiful photos. It's his hobby. I just got him a new digital camera now he can't stop, you know? He always has it out, always taking pictures of me.”

“George told me that he’s been having headaches. Can you tell me anything about them? Have they been recent?”

“Um, I’m not sure. Maybe the last couple of months.”

“Have you seen him experience any disorientation or dizziness?”

“Yes, yes, I have.”

“Okay.” You noted that in his chart, thinking that there might be an underlying cause to all this.

~~~

“Vertiginous or light-headedness?” Steve asked. You were telling him what you had discovered as he scrubbed in.

“Light-headed,” you answered. “Sometimes he’d have to brace himself to get out of bed.”

“Could be a million things. Simple orthostasis.” He noticed your face, still thinking about it. “What?”

“What made him fall down the stairs with a nail gun?”

“He said he tripped. Just because you hear hoof beats, don't assume zebras.”

“Something caused him to lose consciousness and fall down the stairs. It’s possible that he could have a tumor.”

“Look, I have no idea why this guy's still alive, let alone moving and talking. Not a clue. Let's just get him through this before we start digging around for something else.”

Steve entered the OR and you scrubbed in. The OR gallery was already jam packed with other doctors wanting to watch the incredible surgery. You held the tray as Steve pulled the nails out and set them in. The surgery took a few hours, which you were way too happy about.

“Do you see any bleeding, Dr. Wilson?” Steve asked.

“It’s clean,” Dr. Wilson responded. “Way to go, Cap.”

Steve laughed. “No, way to go team. Good job everybody. Thank you. I don’t think we made it worse. The big question is the optic nerve. But we’ll know in the morning.”

“Should I order the MRI?” You asked.

“He needs to stabilize.” Steve walked towards the OR door, tearing off his gown. “We’ll do it tomorrow.”

~~~

The next morning, you, Val, Clint, and Scott were all getting ready for your shifts. Scott and Val were in the bathroom. Val was brushing her teeth in her underwear while Scott was showering, again.

“I reminded you before you went!” Val shouted.

“I forgot when I got there,” Scott replied.

“No, no.” She threw open the shower curtain. “You were so passive-aggressive.”

“Naked!” Scoot covered himself. “I am naked in the shower!”

“They’re just tampons, Scott. I really needed tampons.” You and Clint entered the bathroom. “I’m not riding in the same car with him.”

You began looking through the cupboards. “If you're going like that, you're not riding with me… where are the tampons?”

“He didn’t buy them.”

“You didn’t buy them?!” You and Clint repeated.

“Oh, man.” Clint continued, running a hand down his face. “Way to make both our lives hell now.”

“Men don’t buy tampons!” Scott shouted.

“You know what?” Val got into Scott’s face. “You are gonna have to get over this whole man thing, Scott. We are women! We have vaginas! Get used to it!”

“I’ve got you, girls,” Clint said. “I’ll run to the store during lunch or, if that doesn’t work out, after our shift.”

“Thank you, Clint,” you said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You’re a life saver.”

“See, Scott!” Val exclaimed. “Real men buy tampons!”

~~~

After getting into scrubs, you made your way to George’s room. He was awake and talking. As you read through his chart, Steve joined you.

“Grilled cheese again?” He asked.

“Cold pizza,” you replied.

“You live a sad life,” Steve chuckled. “Is he awake?”

“Even better.”

“Really? Let’s see what his nurse says.” The two of you entered the room. “Hi, Sally, George. How are you this morning?”

“Tell them what color my dress is, George,” Sally encouraged with a smile.

“I’d know the answer to that even if I couldn’t see,” he responded. “It’s blue.”

“Can you tell me what you had for breakfast on Monday?” Steve asked.

“Cheese omelet. And on Sunday. And on Saturday. And on Friday. Sally gets up every morning and makes me a cheese omelet.”

“It’s the only thing he likes,” Sally said.

“It’s the only thing you know how to cook.”

Steve smiled as he wrote some things down in the chart. “Okay, well, things look good. But I am ordering an MRI for this morning to check for residual bleeding. Dr. L/N will take you down there right now.”

With a nod, you wheeled his bed down to the MRI. You got him set up before going behind the glass to wait with Steve.

“How do you think I’m doing?” Steve asked. You quirked a brow up at him. “With this whole professional thing? Is it working?”

“Not anymore,” you responded, looking at the screen. The scan began pulling up. “Look.” You pointed.

Steve turned to study it. “Damn. Yeah, right there.” Steve pointed to the scans. “That’s a tumor. It’s midline near the hypothalamus.”

“Shit.”

With a sigh, Steve explained the options to you before you two headed back to George’s room, to explain to him and Sally.

“Best practice, probably to remove the tumor,” Steve told the couple. “Probably because I can't get it all. 99%, but not all of it. Radiation and chemo, you're looking at maybe five to ten good years.”

“Let’s do it,” George quickly said.

“You haven't heard the downside. See, the tumor is located in a part of your brain where your memory and your personality resides. And because of the fuzzy edges of this type of tumor, I have to cut out a lot. George, you stand a good chance of losing your memories. Of losing who you are.”

“Is there any other way?” Sally asked.

“The alternative is gamma or cyberknife treatment with focus radiation. It's less evasive. There's little chance of memory loss or him losing himself but it would only give Jorge maybe three to five years.”

“Three to five years?”

“This is an incredibly difficult decision. If you have any more questions or you need to talk to me, I'm here, okay?”

They nodded and you and Steve took it as your queue to leave. It was hard decision that they needed to make. You don’t know if you’d let them cut into you at risk of your personality.

~~~

After taking care of some other patients, you found your way back to George’s room. Steve was just walking out of it.

“They want the surgery,” he told you.

“They want you to cut it out?” You clarified.

“Mm-hmm. It’s their decision.”

Steve left and you waiting outside George’s room until he was asleep.

“Sally?” You called, motioning her to meet you in the hall.

“Yes?” She replied, meeting you.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

“Yes.”

“You need to consider what you'll lose. What good is five years if he doesn't joke about your omelets and he can't remember seeing you in that blue dress?”

“It’s still five more years.”

“You don’t understand. He’ll be there, but we won’t be George. He won’t even recognize you.”

“This is none of your business.”

“You have no idea what this will do to you. Isn't five good years better than ten bad ones?”

“Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” Steve questioned, coming back up to you.

“She needs to understand.”

“But I do understand,” Sally said. “You think that I'm being selfish, that I don't want to give him up.”

“I don’t.”

“This is George’s decision. And it that means ten bad years for me, fine. I'll give him those years because I will give him whatever he wants.”

“Look, I am so sorry, Sally,” Steve apologized. “Just please forgive her. She's an intern.”

“And if he doesn't remember me, if he doesn't remember what we are, he's still my George. And I'll remember for us both.”

“Okay, alright.”

Steve guided Sally back into George’s room, shooting you a disappointed look. You watched as Steve spoke the couple through everything again, making sure to keep your distance from the room. When he was done, Steve came back out, shaking his head at you in disappointment.

“You crossed a line today,” he warned. “It’s not your place to talk to patients like that.”

“Understood,” you stated, stoically. “I’m sorry, Dr. Rogers. It won’t happen again.”

As you walked away, Steve sighed, looking back at you. You went to the locker room, it was time for your shift to end any way. After you had changed and packed up your things, you turned to head out and saw Steve leaning in the doorway. He looked nervous, in his street clothes with his hands in his pockets.

“Look,” he started, “I’m sorry about—“

“Don’t apologize,” you interrupted. “I was out of line. Understood.”

Steve gave a nod. “Right. Well… uh… I came… well, I occasionally eat breakfast at this small place on Broadway. I was wondering if you’d join me in the morning?”

“Really, Steve? Don’t you understand that this is wrong?”

“It’s just a breakfast. Two friends meeting up for a meal.”

You sighed. “Where and what time?”

He grinned, straightening up. “The Broadway Cafe, let’s say 7?”

You headed through the door way. “I’ll think about it,” you said as you passed him. “Good night, Dr. Rogers.”

“Think about it?” He rushed after you.

“Yes, I’ll think about it.” You stepped into the elevator, turning around to face him. Steve didn’t enter. “We’ll see in the morning.”

Steve gave a small smile as he shook his head and the elevator doors closed.

“Shit,” he realized quietly. “Maybe Stark is right. I’m whipped.”

“Did I just hear you say that Tony’s right?” A strawberry blonde woman came up beside Steve. “Please don’t tell him that, he doesn’t need a bigger ego.”

“I definitely won’t, Pepper. He’ll never let me live it down.”

“No, he won’t.”

“But you should listen to him. Go out with him.”

“Are you serious?”

“Sadly, I am.”

Pepper clenched her jaw, studying Steve for a second. “Alright, I’ll give him a chance. How bad could it be, right?”

“How bad could what be?” Tony asked, coming up to the other two doctors. “Good evening, Rogers, Pepper. What are we talking about?”

“Oh none of your never mind,” Pepper responded. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

As Pepper left, Steve watched Tony watch Pepper walk away.

“I think we both might be screwed."

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #tony stark x reader #pepper potts x reader #gamora x reader #scott lang x reader #the avengers x reader #avengers x reader #clint barton x reader #valkyrie x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #marvel imagine #marvel imagines #Marvel AU #greys anatomy au

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magnetictapedatastorage · 3 years

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Americans have been saying for a year they want to get back to normal. Tragically, they're getting their wish.

With the gradual return to public places comes a specter the country was all too willing to set aside as it grappled with a pandemic capable of killing thousands of Americans a day. Mass shootings are starting to make headlines again, and though their return is most unwelcome, they've proved to be an inextricable part of life in the United States.

The latest mass killing left 10 dead at a grocery store. For the past 12 months, Americans have been vigilant in grocery stores to avoid contagion. Monday's slayings in Boulder, Colorado, reminded them that even with pandemic hope on the horizon, they should remain vigilant for a different reason.

This is a hard thing to read, but important. Full text under the cut.

CNN | 3/24/2021 | Listen Analysis: Mass shootings signal a dubious 'back to normal' in America Analysis By Eliott C. McLaughlin, CNN

Updated: Wed, 24 Mar 2021 00:21:23 GMT

Source: CNN

Americans have been saying for a year they want to get back to normal. Tragically, they're getting their wish.

Americans shouldn't have to fret about dying in a supermarket, or at a spa, or anywhere for that matter. Catching a bullet should be far from their minds, but with a return to American normalcy comes the reality that anyone could die for nothing, just about everywhere.

Seven mass shootings in seven days

Just as the country is conquering a new pandemic, an old, familiar epidemic makes its return. The last week has been a harbinger of what "back to normal" means for the US.

The most recent string of senseless gun violence began March 16 when a shooter killed eight people at three Atlanta spas. The next day, a drive-by in Stockton, California, injured five people who'd gathered for a vigil.

Four people were hospitalized Thursday after a shooting in Gresham, Oregon. On Saturday, a pair of shootings at clubs in Dallas and Houston left a young woman dead and 12 people injured. Shortly thereafter, a shooter opened fire at what Philadelphia police termed an illegal party, killing one man and injuring five more.

Now, Boulder makes seven in seven days. When the gunfire at King Soopers stopped, 10 lay dead, including hero officer Eric Talley, the first policeman on the scene. His wife and seven children will pay an astronomical debt for their dad's bravery.

"Flags that have barely been raised back to full mast after the tragic shooting in Atlanta that claimed eight lives and now the tragedy here, close to home, at a grocery store that could be any of our neighborhood grocery stores," Colorado Gov. Jared Polis said Tuesday.

The King Soopers location where the melee unfolded is one of about 1,000 providers in Colorado working to repel the killer Covid-19.

Steven McHugh's son-in-law had queued for a dose of vaccine, like more than a million other Coloradoans. He was third in line, and his daughters chatted with their grandmother on the phone as he waited, McHugh said.

When the gunfire erupted, a bullet found its way to the woman at the front of the line. Her fate is unclear, as is much about Monday's shooting. Authorities haven't divulged a motive, but history tells us it won't make sense.

McHugh's son-in-law fled with the girls -- one in seventh grade, the other in eighth -- to an upstairs staffing area above the pharmacy and hid in a closet. Dozens more shots rang out, McHugh said, citing his son-in-law.

It was "extraordinarily terrifying," the grandfather told CNN, "and of course the little one's saying, 'The coats weren't long enough to hide our feet,' as they were standing behind the coats in the closet."

'A normal we can no longer afford'

The US government doesn't have a centralized database to track mass shootings, but anecdotal accounts indicate they were down during the pandemic as Americans were encouraged to stay home and many of their favorite gathering places were shut down.

Former President Barack Obama called for action Tuesday, expressing disbelief that only Covid-19 could quell the gun violence the country has long endured.

"A once-in-a-century pandemic cannot be the only thing that slows mass shootings in this country," he said. "We shouldn't have to choose between one type of tragedy and another. It's time for leaders everywhere to listen to the American people when they say enough is enough -- because this is a normal we can no longer afford."

For the mass shootings that did unfold amid the pandemic, their locations were frighteningly familiar: a Buffalo, Minnesota, health clinic; a bowling alley in Rockford, Illinois; a Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, mall; parties in Rochester, New York, and Washington, DC; and a brewery in Milwaukee where, authorities would learn later, the gunman had been employed.

Gun violence is not a uniquely American phenomenon, but part of the rich American tapestry are threads of evil and violence: people (almost always men) who use weapons (often firearms) to snuff out innocents. Sometimes they're mentally ill, but more often they're just angry or vicious.

Their reasoning -- when it's attainable -- fails to provide closure. Outrage invariably erupts after each massacre. One side demands stronger gun laws. They're labeled un-American. Their opponents tout the Second Amendment. They're labeled callous. A stalemate ensues until the next killing, then repeat.

Within an hour of the Boulder killings, the National Rifle Association tweeted the Second Amendment. It later retweeted it. Nothing more.

It should surprise no one that a special interest group champions the Second Amendment. The amendment is a promise to every American, but 15 years prior to its ratification, the Declaration of Independence brought other promises of rights deemed "unalienable."

The full guarantees of "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" will never be achieved by Officer Talley, Tralona Bartkowiak, Suzanne Fountain, Teri Leiker, Kevin Mahoney, Lynn Murray, Rikki Olds, Neven Stanisic, Denny Strong, Jody Waters -- or any of the thousands of victims who fell before Monday in Boulder.

'Part of the American experience'

In all likelihood, another person died by a gun while you were reading this. Despite the media's breathless focus on mass shootings, gun violence takes myriad and frequent forms.

According to numbers from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the country saw 14,414 homicides in 2019 -- about one every 36 minutes -- while another 23,941 souls fatally turned guns on themselves -- roughly once every 22 minutes.

In his statement, Obama called out other scapegoats: disaffection, misogyny, hate. The United States has monopolies on none of these, though it has special brands that can be pernicious.

Sandy Phillips, who co-founded the organization Survivors Empowered to console and guide survivors of gun violence, pointed to the victims who suffer in silence, because the killings of their loved ones are seemingly not important enough for the newspapers or the nightly news.

Doubt her? Google the details about last week's shooting in Stockton, California, one of the most racially diverse cities in the nation.

"We have mass shootings in slow motion every day in this country, in other neighborhoods that never get the press, that never get the opportunity to speak out about what's happening in their communities -- and we need to change that," Phillips, who lost her 24-year-old daughter Jessica Ghawi in 2012 to gun violence in Aurora, Colorado, told CNN.

Those neighborhoods often belong to minorities, who have had a particularly rough time of the pandemic as well. It's another crushing American axiom that society's ills tend to home in on people of color, and those victims must yell so much louder to be heard.

There will be much yelling in coming days, perhaps weeks. Obama is right when he said Americans possess the ability to "make it harder for those with hate in their hearts to buy weapons of war. We can overcome opposition by cowardly politicians and the pressure of a gun lobby that opposes any limit on the ability of anyone to assemble an arsenal."

The margins are thin, though, and the complexity of that American tapestry will be on display. A Gallup poll from late last year showed 42% of Americans had guns in their homes, a number that's risen since 2019. Another Gallup query indicated 57% of Americans want stricter gun laws, a percentage that's on the decline.

Former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe said "absolutely nothing" will stop the country's return to pre-pandemic mass violence if lawmakers refuse to curb access to the weaponry.

"This has become part of the American experience, and let's not forget: It's completely unique to us," he told CNN. "There's not another similar country on Earth that experiences the same number, the frequency of mass shootings as we do, and it is directly attributable to the profusion and the availability of guns, particularly high-powered assault-style weapons and how easily pretty much anyone can acquire them here in this country."

#cnn gun violence

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itrvlr · 3 years

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AN AMAZING STORY...

Here is an amazing story from a flight attendant on Delta Flight 15, written following 9-11

On the morning of Tuesday, September 11, we were about 5 hours out of Frankfurt, flying over the North Atlantic .

All of a sudden the curtains parted and I was told to go to the cockpit, immediately, to see the captain. As soon as I got there I noticed that the crew had that "All Business" look on their faces. The captain handed me a printed message. It was from Delta's main office in Atlanta and simply read, "All airways over the Continental United States are closed to commercial air traffic. Land ASAP at the nearest airport. Advise your destination."

No one said a word about what this could mean. We knew it was a serious situation and we needed to find terra firma quickly. The captain determined that the nearest airport was 400 miles behind us in Gander, New Foundland.

He requested approval for a route change from the Canadian traffic controller and approval was granted immediately -- no questions asked. We found out later, of course, why there was no hesitation in approving our request.

While the flight crew prepared the airplane for landing, another message arrived from Atlanta telling us about some terrorist activity in the New York area. A few minutes later word came in about the hijackings.

We decided to LIE to the passengers while we were still in the air. We told them the plane had a simple instrument problem and that we needed to land at the nearest airport in Gander , New Foundland, to have it checked out.

We promised to give more information after landing in Gander .. There was much grumbling among the passengers, but that's nothing new! Forty minutes later, we landed in Gander. Local time at Gander was 12:30 PM .... that's 11:00 AM EST.

There were already about 20 other airplanes on the ground from all over the world that had taken this detour on their way to the US.

After we parked on the ramp, the captain made the following announcement: "Ladies and gentlemen, you must be wondering if all these airplanes around us have the same instrument problem as we have. The reality is that we are here for another reason."

Then he went on to explain the little bit we knew about the situation in the US. There were loud gasps and stares of disbelief. The captain informed passengers that Ground control in Gander told us to stay put.

The Canadian Government was in charge of our situation and no one was allowed to get off the aircraft. No one on the ground was allowed to come near any of the air crafts. Only airport police would come around periodically, look us over and go on to the next airplane.

In the next hour or so more planes landed and Gander ended up with 53 airplanes from all over the world, 27 of which were US commercial jets.

Meanwhile, bits of news started to come in over the aircraft radio and for the first time we learned that airplanes were flown into the World Trade Center in New York and into the Pentagon in DC.

People were trying to use their cell phones, but were unable to connect due to a different cell system in Canada . Some did get through, but were only able to get to the Canadian operator who would tell them that the lines to the U.S. were either blocked or jammed.

Sometime in the evening the news filtered to us that the World Trade Center buildings had collapsed and that a fourth hijacking had resulted in a crash. By now the passengers were emotionally and physically exhausted, not to mention frightened, but everyone stayed amazingly calm.

We had only to look out the window at the 52 other stranded aircraft to realize that we were not the only ones in this predicament.

We had been told earlier that they would be allowing people off the planes one plane at a time. At 6 PM, Gander airport told us that our turn to deplane would be 11 am the next morning.

Passengers were not happy, but they simply resigned themselves to this news without much noise and started to prepare themselves to spend the night on the airplane.

Gander had promised us medical attention, if needed, water, and lavatory servicing.

And they were true to their word.

Fortunately we had no medical situations to worry about. We did have a young lady who was 33 weeks into her pregnancy. We took REALLY good care of her. The night passed without incident despite the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements.

About 10:30 on the morning of the 12th a convoy of school buses showed up. We got off the plane and were taken to the terminal where we went through Immigration and Customs and then had to register with the Red Cross.

After that we (the crew) were separated from the passengers and were taken in vans to a small hotel. We had no idea where our passengers were going. We learned from the Red Cross that the town of Gander has a population of 10,400 people and they had about 10,500 passengers to take care of from all the airplanes that were forced into Gander!

We were told to just relax at the hotel and we would be contacted when the US airports opened again, but not to expect that call for a while.

We found out the total scope of the terror back home only after getting to our hotel and turning on the TV, 24 hours after it all started.

Meanwhile, we had lots of time on our hands and found that the people of Gander were extremely friendly. They started calling us the "plane people." We enjoyed their hospitality, explored the town of Gander and ended up having a pretty good time.

Two days later, we got that call and were taken back to the Gander airport. Back on the plane, we were reunited with the passengers and found out what they had been doing for the past two days.

What we found out was incredible.....

Gander and all the surrounding communities (within about a 75 Kilometer radius) had closed all high schools, meeting halls, lodges, and any other large gathering places. They converted all these facilities to mass lodging areas for all the stranded travelers.

Some had cots set up, some had mats with sleeping bags and pillows set up.

ALL the high school students were required to volunteer theirtime to take care of the "guests."

Our 218 passengers ended up in a town called Lewisporte, about 45 kilometers from Gander where they were put up in a high school. If any women wanted to be in a women-only facility, that was arranged.

Families were kept together. All the elderly passengers were taken to private homes.

Remember that young pregnant lady? She was put up in a private home right across the street from a 24-hour Urgent Care facility.There was a dentist on call and both male and female nurses remained with the crowd for the duration.

Phone calls and e-mails to the U.S. and around the world were available to everyone once a day. During the day, passengers were offered "Excursion" trips.

Some people went on boat cruises of the lakes and harbors. Some went for hikes in the local forests.

Local bakeries stayed open to make fresh bread for the guests.

Food was prepared by all the residents and brought to the schools. People were driven to restaurants of their choice and offered wonderful meals. Everyone was given tokens for local laundry mats to wash their clothes, since luggage was still on the aircraft.

In other words, every single need was met for those stranded travelers.

Passengers were crying while telling us these stories. Finally, when they were told that U.S. airports had reopened, they were delivered to the airport right on time and without a single passenger missing or late. The local Red Cross had all the information about thewhereabouts of each and every passenger and knew

which plane they needed to be on and when all the planes were leaving. They coordinated everything beautifully.

It was absolutely incredible.

When passengers came on board, it was like they had been on a cruise. Everyone knew each other by name. They were swapping stories of their stay, impressing each other with who had the better time. Our flight back to Atlanta looked like a chartered party flight. The crew just stayed out of their way. It was mind-boggling.

Passengers had totally bonded and were calling each other by their first names, exchanging phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses.

And then a very unusual thing happened.

One of our passengers approached me and asked if he could make an announcement over the PA system. We never, ever allow that. But this time was different. I said "of course" and handed him the mike. He picked up the PA and reminded everyone about what they had just gone through in the last few days.

He reminded them of the hospitality they had received at the hands of total strangers.

He continued by saying that he would like to do something in return for the good folks of Lewisporte.

"He said he was going to set up a Trust Fund under the name of DELTA 15 (our flight number). The purpose of the trust fund is to provide college scholarships for the high school students of Lewisporte.

He asked for donations of any amount from his fellow travelers. When the paper with donations got back to us with the amounts, names, phone numbers and addresses, the total was for more than $14,000!

"The gentleman, a MD from Virginia , promised to match the donations and to start the administrative work on the scholarship. He also said that he would forward this proposal to Delta Corporate and ask them to donate as well.

As I write this account, the trust fund is at more than $1.5 million and has assisted 134 students in college education.

"I just wanted to share this story because we need good stories right now. It gives me a little bit of hope to know that some people in a faraway place were kind to some strangers who literally dropped in on them.

It reminds me how much good there is in the world."

"In spite of all the rotten things we see going on in today's world this story confirms that there are still a lot of good people in the world and when things get bad, they will come forward.

*This is one of those stories that need to be shared. Please do so...*

#never forget #9/11

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turtle-paced · 3 years

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A:tLA Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

This is what I mean by the recaps getting shorter. There’s still plenty here for a twenty-minute episode, it still moves the plot along, it’s just not as dense as those big plot-crucial episodes.

Book 1, Chapter 5 - The King of Omashu

(0:55) Previously, on Avatar, Aang owns up to being the Avatar. The Avatar who has friends all over the world. Aang realised he’d lost his friends and family, but Katara and Sokka decided to stick with him. The knowledge of the Avatar’s return became public, including to the Fire Nation.

(1:42) It’s winter in the Earth Kingdom, as we can see from the snow on the ground, but we’re also somewhere temperate enough that grass is still growing underneath.

(1:52) Aang introduces the city of Omashu (another cool design!), which he’s visited frequently in order to hang out with his friend Bumi. As the previously on reminded us, Aang’s done quite a bit of travelling around.

(1:58) Meanwhile, Katara and Sokka experience a bit of culture shock at seeing a city. Note that Katara focuses on the size of the city, i.e. the number of people, while Sokka focuses on the difference in construction. Without making a big deal of it, the show’s furthering its characterisation of Katara as most interested in social relationships and people, and Sokka as most interested in technology.

(2:05) After running from the burning village at the end of last episode, our protagonists start this episode by taking precautions and insisting that Aang wear a disguise. Learning! And note that they’re insisting on this even in a free, Earth Kingdom city.

(2:24) A mention of Sokka and Katara’s grandfather! I think the only one we get all series.

(2:44) The pan over the walkway to Omashu shows us some basic earthbending defensive fortifications. Aside from Omashu being basically a mountain with walls in the middle of a canyon, the walkway is narrow, sheer, and switches back and forth. It’s clearly not natural. Local earthbenders either raised Omashu or levelled the nearby mountains to give it a ‘moat’, then raised a high, narrow, switchbacked walkway. This has got to be the work of lots of earthbenders, over a long time.

(2:56) Aang says that Omashu is the friendliest city in the world, cut to our new friend the cabbage merchant being rudely dealt with by the gate guards.

Back on the defensive fortifications front, there’s no actual gate. Omashu needs a spot designated as a gate, but when you’ve got earthbenders aplenty, why bother having a permanent opening in the walls? Again and again we’ll see casual bits of setting design that show how the writers and animators actually put some thought into how a society where large numbers of people can manipulate various states of matter looks like. Here, we see it in the way Omashu is built.

(3:16) From the friendliest city in the world, to hovering a rock over an ‘old man’s’ head, just because. The war has damaged the social fabric of every society depicted in the series.

(3:31) “Bonzu Pippenpadalopsicopolis the Third.” It’s amazing that this isn’t the most ridiculous alias of the series.

(3:39) Major props to Katara for flawlessly going with it, though.

(4:10) Omashu’s walls open in three distinct stages. It is because most earthbending guards can’t open a wall that thick in one go? Who knows.

(4:27) Pan over Omashu, a free Earth Kingdom city. Lots of people, lots of green, the occasional bridge over a gap, and prominent ‘aqueducts’ for people to deliver things. Infrastructure in Omashu is based around earthbending.

(4:56) Aang flashes back to a hundred years ago series time, and what has to be only a few months previous, his subjective time. His friend Bumi has distinctive eyes and a noticeable gap in his teeth. He opens the flashback with a question for Aang and encourages him to think about their surroundings differently. Bumi also has a distinctive laugh.

(5:28) The fact Aang insisted on going to Omashu before anything else, after having accepted the Air Nomads were gone and that he can’t afford to stay in villages, is actually pretty heartbreaking. He just wants one slide down the mail chute. One chance to re-enact part of the life he lost.

(6:05) So much property damage. So much potential for people to get hurt.

(6:11) The joke here is that the Earth Kingdom soldiers were not prepared for three kids and a lemur to land a mail chute carriage in front of them, but again the context of this joke is that in Omashu, there are people being trained to go to active combat. The war gets into everything, even the comic relief.

(7:21) That poor cabbage merchant. It is not his day. Honestly, it’s fair enough Aang, Katara, and Sokka got taken into custody for that stunt.

(7:38) And so our protagonists get hauled into a big, empty, green-lit hall, with an old man in fancy robes. The old man reacts when he sees Aang.

(7:46) The earthbending guards address the old man as ‘Your Majesty’. The guard also shushes the cabbage merchant, saying that only the king can pass down judgement, handily introducing the monarchical structure of Omashu. Not as important as other monarchies we’ll be seeing, but yeah, it’s there.

(7:59) Close up on the king of Omashu, as he looks at Sokka, Katara, and Aang in turn. The king has distinctive eyes. This isn’t supposed to be super subtle. It’s way easier for viewers with knowledge of dramatic conventions to work this out than it is for Aang, who in-universe doesn’t have a director handing over a bunch of narrative cues. A few months ago, in his subjective experience of time, Bumi was his own age.

(8:15) The king of Omashu says to throw them…a feast! Which already shows us how Bumi works with expectations. The expected end to that sentence would have been “in the dungeons” or suchlike; “a feast” works grammatically, but isn’t what you’d think to hear.

(8:20) Pan over the feast. Lots of meat. Including chicken on Aang’s plate. Aang thanks Bumi for his hospitality, but says he doesn’t eat meat. Now this actually is subtle. Bumi recognised Aang, that’s clear by the end of the episode, if it wasn’t already. So what Bumi’s doing here is checking whether he can believe his eyes. Is this his old friend or just someone who looks like him? In his experience of time, it’s been a hundred years.

Note that even if vegetarianism was cultural to the Air Nomads, the overwhelming majority of Air Nomads have been dead for a century, and travel’s become much more difficult (particularly travel to Air Temples only accessible through airbending), limiting opportunities for others to learn about their cultural practices. Seriously, this is some excellent stuff from Bumi. Bumi knows Aang doesn’t eat meat. Who else would?

Aang’s dietary practices are also good characterisation for him. We know he loves animals, and we can understand his vegetarianism as a manifestation of how he respects life.

(9:04) The Kangaroo Island pun was exactly bad enough for Sokka.

(9:19) Then Bumi suddenly flings a drumstick at Aang without warning, testing his reaction. Which is airbending. Unlike people in previous episodes, Bumi distinguishes ‘the Avatar’ from ‘generic airbender’. Bumi knows it’s Aang in front of him.

(9:35) Bumi then becomes the next person to go with Aang’s ridiculous alias.

(9:58) Aang leans into the corollary of being the Fire Nation’s most wanted - the Earth Kingdom should see him as an asset. However, as the show starts showing us right here with the arrest of the party despite this reveal, the enemy of your enemy isn’t necessarily your friend.

I mean, in this case, yes, Bumi is literally Aang’s friend, but it’s not something the group can rely on. The show will go into more detail next episode and in a few other memorable instances.

(10:18) Bumi randomly decrees that Aang will face three deadly challenges.

(10:38) I do get a giggle out of the “who’s on first?” nature of the “newly-refurbished chamber”.

(10:50) Like the city walls, Earth Kingdom prisons don’t necessarily bother with doors. I don’t think I mentioned it before, but note that the light’s generated by mushrooms. (In the main hall, by contrast, there are crystal lights.)

(11:21) The party immediately starts planning their escape. Yet another situation that wouldn’t have been possible later in the series. This chamber couldn’t hold a trained earthbender.

(11:55) With the thwarting of Aang’s admittedly kind of half-baked escape plan, we get a skip to the next morning, when Aang wakes up completely alone in the cell. The terms of the deal are explained: Aang passes the deadly challenges, and his friends go free. If he doesn’t…something something. The danger is implied.

(13:00) The creeping crystal is arguably the most cartoony peril the series has included thus far. Until now, our protagonists have been dealing with deadly serious and actually pretty realistic issues - raiders, genocide, suspicious local authorities. The tone shift to “and now I will trap your friends in fast-growing crystal” is a jarring tone shift, which with hindsight we can take as a good indication that Bumi’s nothing worse than a troll. Avatar’s real villains would have thrown Katara and Sokka in a deeper dungeon or killed them outright. Even the one-and-done antagonists are more serious.

(13:30) “It seems I’ve lost my lunchbox key,” Bumi says. This episode isn’t even a little bit subtle about what Aang needs to learn (it doesn’t have to be, incidentally), and it will ultimately outright say what Aang learned from the episode. It’s Bumi’s over the top, trolling characterisation that helps stop the episode from being a dreary recitation of “Aang needs to think creatively to overcome obstacles.”

(14:01) So after Bumi sets Aang to fetching his lunchbox key from the middle of a waterfall with a ladder leading up to it against the flow of the water, Bumi says sarcastically, “Ooh, climbing the ladder, nobody’s thought of that before.” Which raises the question - how many people has Bumi tried this on? (My bet is that Bumi’s taught earthbending before and this is a standard lesson to get students to change up their thinking.)

(14:17) Also worth noting is the fact that after one unsuccessful attempt to get the key, Aang immediately changes his approach as he realises his previous angle won’t work. He’s entirely capable of learning Bumi’s lesson, and probably would have got there on his own eventually. Bumi’s just speeding this process up a bit.

(14:48) As we see when Aang gets the key on his third attempt. Didn’t take him long at all, really.

(15:02) On to a more pointed lesson, and one that applies to the viewers evaluating what’s going on in-universe. Bumi wants Aang to retrieve his pet, Flopsy. On screen, the viewer sees a cute rabbit.

(15:13) As soon as Aang says “come here, Flopsy,” however, he’s attacked by some sort of…sabre-toothed gorilla-goat?

(15:38) Until Aang’s shoulder-deep in a crevasse trying to catch the rabbit and going “hang on…”

(15:43) Aang addresses the sabre-toothed gorilla-goat by “Flopsy” and Flopsy, who is a very good boy indeed, very well-trained, stops on a dime, tail wagging. So there we go. Flopsy looks scary, but never meant to harm Aang.

This is a very gentle reminder to a boy who just learned that he’s the only survivor of a genocide but has duties to the global community, from a man who’s in contact with Fire Nationals working against their nation’s goals - don’t judge by appearances. And like I said, it’s a reminder to the viewer, too.

Also Aang’s enthusiasm for Flopsy is adorable. He gets past the scary exterior in a heartbeat.

(16:24) Our first look at an earthbending arena! Unsurprisingly, it’s underground.

(16:31) Bumi gives Aang an actually very simple final test - a duel. In which Aang may choose his opponent. Two very scary weapon-users leap down from above to flank Bumi. “Point and choose,” Bumi says.

(16:56) Aang points at Bumi. “Wrong choice!” Bumi says. For the first time in the episode, he stands up straight, and when he takes off his purple robe, he’s in remarkably good shape for a man of 112. He’s one step ahead of Aang here, anticipating that Aang would be smart enough to see that Bumi’s a valid choice, but twelve years old enough not to question why Bumi would leave this loophole.

This is the inverse of the previous point. Where Flopsy looked dangerous and actually wasn’t, Bumi doesn’t look dangerous and is.

(17:32) “I’m the most powerful earthbender you’ll ever see,” Bumi says. Almost certainly not - but given his helpless old man performance here, I think Bumi would be able to appreciate blind little Toph kicking serious ass.

(17:43) This is our first proper look at earthbending. In this episode we’ve seen it used to open doors, deliver mail, and threaten hapless travellers, but Bumi brings out a fight scene. He quickly and explicitly calls out Aang’s tactics (typical airbending tactics, he says) as predictable evasive techniques.

(18:01) “Sooner or later, you’ll have to strike back,” Bumi tells Aang. We’ve already seen Aang’s difficulties with this.

The fight scene itself is a brief class on how a creative bender can shut down a predictable one, and one that shows Bumi knows airbending tactics as well as earthbending strengths. He stops Aang taking to the air by collapsing the ceiling, leaving Aang at risk of getting hit from behind by falling rocks. When Aang tries to use airbending-assisted speed over the ground, Bumi breaks the ground up, forcing Aang to slow down and swerve into the path of other attacks, and later dissolving the solid ground into dust beneath Aang’s feet. That’s two ways Bumi has to slow Aang down.

Meanwhile, Aang’s offense is casually blocked, and Bumi’s good enough to block when Aang dodges a rock that was going to hit them both.

Aang might be an airbending master, but this fight scene with Bumi shows how he’s outclassed as a combatant, at the moment. And yeah, that’s the sort of tactical depth the show’s bringing to a two-minute fight scene, because the point of this fight scene is to establish something about how Aang fights.

(19:59) The fight finishes with the biggest demonstration of non-Avatar State bending we’ve seen yet. Bumi hauls a giant chunk of rock into the air, Aang generates a tornado to redirect it. In the spirit of Bumi’s lessons, Aang uses the opening when Bumi’s forced to block his own rock to follow up with his own attack (having worked out that while his own offense isn’t good enough to defeat Bumi, Bumi may be vulnerable to his own attacks, and can’t recover instantly).

But as we saw when Bumi was one step ahead of Aang when he said “choose wisely,” Bumi’s anticipated that attack, too, and has a countermeasure - he grabs half the rock he just split apart and holds it over the both of them, the surface area too great for Aang to dodge if Bumi dropped it. Nevertheless, Bumi’s made his point and seen the improvement he wanted to see, so he calls it a match.

(20:45) “What’s the point of tests if you don’t learn anything?” Surprisingly deep educational philosophy here from Bumi. It’s not about the mark, it’s about the learning process.

(20:55) Bumi’s final question is apparently random: “What is my name?”

(21:10) The “Rocky” joke was too bad even for Bumi.

(21:35) Katara shows her own quick wits as she helps prompt Aang into the line of thinking he needs to work out Bumi’s name.

This is also where Aang spells out the whole “think outside the box” thing. This isn’t a bad episode. (This show has two, maybe three, bad episodes. And even then those episodes are more just total nothings than they are actually bad.) But it’s this sort of heavier-handedness that makes season one the weakest of the three sseasons.

(22:00) Heartwarming moment. Aang’s old friend might now be an old friend, but he’s still the same person. They’re still glad to see each other.

(22:30) Here comes Sokka with his brains. Why do any of this?

(22:44) Aside from the fun of messing with people, Bumi says that Aang’s got some big problems on his plate. The world has changed. He also gives Aang Ozai’s name.

In response, Aang thanks Bumi for his wisdom. I suspect that what Bumi’s saying about confronting the Fire Lord and defeating the Fire Nation hasn’t sunk in properly, and that he’s not thinking about these things as things he’s actually going to have to do. But dealing with that is a plot point for future episodes.

(23:17) The episode leaves off on a much more positive note than previous episodes. Aang gets his slide down Omashu’s mail chutes, with the very friend who inspired the escapade to begin with. At the cabbage merchant’s cost.

#a:tla #fine toothed comb edition

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twdbegins · 3 years

Text

A Little R&R

Simon x Fem. Reader

Warnings: Some sexual references.

Word Count: 2,110

“Mmhm, well, you’re gonna see a noticeable change if you keep that up.”

Nobody has ever said that being a doctor is easy work. As a matter of fact, being in any job in medical field is probably one of the most demanding jobs there can possibly be. However, you had gone through a lot of school to become a doctor and while it was hard work, it was rewarding work. Nothing filled you with more joy than helping others. It was something that made you super passionate. It reminded you that, despite the fall, there’s still good in the world.

With that being said, there were still times when the workload did sometimes get to be a bit much. At least before, when you were in a legit hospital, you had nurses and other doctors to provide their hands-on help. Now, it was pretty much just you. If you were lucky, Simon or another savior might be able to offer some minimal help, but in an overall sense, you were on your own. Another challenge refers to the more sanitary side of things. Since you weren’t in a hospital, the infirmary wasn’t as sterilized as you wanted it to be. You cleaned the infirmary from ceiling to floor every single day and as often as you could. You always deep cleaned your tools and sterilized them, but at the end of the day there was no way for everything to be completely clean.

The worst part of it, though, was the fact that you had every single solitary patient. Obviously, if you’re the only doctor, then everyone is going to come to you. Some days you would have one person come in and some days you would have 40 people come in. It just varied from day to day. Your absolute least favorite day was check-up day. After you had been at the Sanctuary for about a year (and Negan realized you were there to stay) he found it necessary for every savior to have an annual checkup. Everyone. On the same day.

The first year you had to do it was absolute hell. Everyone showed up at random times during the day and there was no order whatsoever. However, the next year, you put a system in order. Every savior would have to come at a specific time, starting with the highest in command to the lowest (this was per Negan’s request). So, Negan always went first, Simon next, and so on and so forth. You usually averaged about one savior every fifteen minutes. Which doesn’t sound that bad, but considering there’s an average of about 150 to 200 saviors, it makes out to be a long day of work.

It was checkup day, November 11th to be exact. You had made sure to hydrate plenty the day before and get a good night of sleep, because you were not taking any breaks to try and get this over with quicker. Sure enough, you heard Negan’s familiar voice in the doorway at 6:00 A.M. sharp;

“Well, good morning, doc!” He chirped.

You gave a smile;

“Negan.” You said acknowledging his presence.

Negan always went first because he was indeed highest in command. He also liked to just get it over with so he could still get a useful day of work. He knew the drill. He stripped off his signature leather jacket, setting it on the chair in the corner with his beloved Lucille. He had this rather unsettling smirk on his face. As much as you respected him as a leader, he could be quite disrespectful to you. Not in a “I don’t respect your feelings kind of way”, but he was known as a ladies man (his multiples wives as evidence to that). It didn’t at all offend or bother him to have a woman put her hands on him, in a professional way or not. He sat on the table as you began his checkup exam. He stayed silent for a little while, but you knew it wouldn’t last. As you were listening to his lungs and overall breathing, he spoke;

“You know, if you really want to see how I can handle myself, you can close that door and I’ll just show you.” He prided.

You hushed him, waving a hand in front of his face. You couldn’t properly hear what you were listening for if he was talking. You stayed quiet as you finished listening to his lungs before you answered. You hung the stethoscope around your neck as you tested his reflexes.

“Now, that’s not a very professional thing to say to your doctor is it?” You said grabbing the reflex hammer off of the counter.

He shrugged;

“I mean, doctor-patient confidentially, right? Or does that not apply anymore?” He asked.

“No, it does...depending on who you are,” You said truthfully.

You tested Negan’s reflexes on his knees, noting that his response was a little slow;

“Reflexes are delayed,” You said taking the back of his hand and checking for dehydration. Nada. “Did you drink last night?”

He nodded as you wrote it down on his chart. He was healthy as a horse.

“Well, other than the reflexes, you’re good to go,” You said truthfully.

Negan smiled;

“Sweet,” He said getting off of the table and retrieving his jacket and weapon of choice.

“Will you send Simon in, please?” You asked.

Negan zipped his jacket;

“As long as you two promise to behave in here.” Negan said approaching the doorway and motioning for Simon who was right outside.

Simon walked in, Negan giving him a slight glare as he left. Simon raised a brow and looked at you;

“What was that about?” He asked.

You rolled your eyes;

“Turned him down. Again.” You said referring to his advances.

That wasn’t at all an uncommon occurrence. Negan was always trying to pick you up and had even thrown a marriage proposal your way before. All to which you denied and continue to deny every time. It was kind of a running joke between you and Simon now;

“Shocker,” He said pulling you to him, “Mornin’, baby.”

You gave him a quick kiss;

“Hi.” You replied.

He sat on the exam table, eager to get this over with. He hated going to the doctor, although he was willing to make an exception. You checked his eyes and ears first, both in perfect condition. You checked his lungs and breathing next, as you had done with Negan.

“Take off your shirt, please.” You asked.

He smirked as he lifted it over his head;

“Yes ma’am.” He set his shirt aside and winced at the cold metal of the stethoscope against his back.

His hands were on yours hips, rubbing in circles as you listened to his breathing and heart beat. His heart rate was a little elevated, but that was most likely from the fact that he was raking you over. You were asking just some general questions (all of which you knew the answer to) along the way. You had your hands at his neck, feeling for any swollen or tender lymph nodes;

“Have you had skin irritation or any noticeable changes to your body lately?” You asked as you felt his neck gently, his skin sensitive to the feel of your touch.

He groaned;

“Mmhm, well, you’re gonna see a noticeable change if you keep that up.” He said.

You pulled your hands away and tried not to laugh;

“Sorry. I’m almost done.” You said reaching for a tongue depressor.

“What time do you think you’ll be done?” He asked curiously.

You shrugged and gave a questionable look;

“Late for sure. Open wide,” You instructed, “Maybe midnight?”

You checked his throat for any signs of inflamed tonsils or strep throat as he attempted to speak a response that was just muffled;

“Huh?” You asked taking the depressor away.

“I said to come to my room when you do get off. I’ll be up.” He repeated.

You nodded, jotting the final notes on his chart;

“You don’t have to wait up for me.” You kindly said.

“Sure, I do. I want to.” He retorted.

You smiled, and sighed contently when you finished his examination;

“Well, my love, you are in perfectly good health.”

He laughed at your monotonous tone and slipped his shirt back on, before standing back up;

“Do you have any breaks today?” He asked.

“Nope. Straight shot from start to finish.” You replied.

He nodded with a slight grimace. He hated seeing you work yourself too hard. But you wouldn’t do it any other way. He kissed you again before leaving;

“I’ll see you tonight. Don’t work too hard.”

The day went by horribly slow. Person after person came through. You repeated the same tests over and over until you felt like you’d freaking pass out. Finally, low and behold, you examined the very last savior at around 12:15 AM. Basically 18 hours of straight work with no breaks. Honestly, it should’ve been longer than that, but some exams didn’t take as long as others. You were exhausted and drained. You cleaned the infirmary as usual, used the shower, and finally were lights out at 12:45. You locked up and straggled to Simon’s room, which felt like miles away. You walked into his room and, sure enough, he was awake and waiting for you.

You looked tired, to say the least. He offered a comforting smile;

“Hey. All done?” He asked.

“All done.” You affirmed.

Your legs and feet had never hurt so bad in your entire life. You quite literally collapsed onto the bed, letting out a sigh of relief that you felt in your soul. He sat on the end of the bed as you just took a moment to mellow out. Your feet were a horrible shade of dark pink, borderline red from the heavy blood flow from being on your feet all day.

“126. 126 saviors came through. That’s a personal record.” You said with a laugh.

Simon shook his head in disbelief;

“I don’t know how you do it. Anybody that you think will kick the bucket this year?” He asked slightly joking but also not.

You scoffed;

“From a physical health standpoint, no. Mentally though, that new guy Derek might be in for it if he doesn’t change his attitude,” You stated honestly.

“Oh, yeah. The tall redheaded guy, right? I think Richie got into a tussle with him a few weeks ago.” Simon said recalling the big fight that went down.

You hummed in affirmation as you watched him trace circles on your leg lazily with his index finger. You groaned and rubbed your face;

“My feet hurt so bad. I feel like I’ve been standing and walking all day.” You growled.

Simon got up from the bed and laughed;

“That’s because you have,” He grabbed a bottle off of the dresser and sat back down. You suddenly felt a cold presence and rubbing sensation on your leg. You looked down and let out a groan of relief upon realizing Simon was rubbing your legs and feet;

“You are an absolute angel, you know that?”

He smirked;

“I do my best.”

His hands worked wonders on your aching lower limbs and appendages. You raised a brow;

“Where did you get lotion from?” You asked examining the dark red, label-less bottle.

His hand gently gripped and slid down from your knee to your ankle;

“I have my ways,” He grinned; “I thought you outta know that by now.”

“You’re still full of surprises. I never know what tricks you have up your sleeve.” You laughed heartily.

He still grinned;

“Yeah, well, I gotta keep it interesting,” He joked, “No, but I found this last week. I’ve just been meaning to give it to you.”

The lotion’s scent was so good and so calming. You definitely could’ve fallen asleep right where you were.

“At least I know I’ll sleep good tonight.” You stated.

“Speaking of, I think it’s time to call it a night.” He said rubbing the last bit of lotion in and returning the bottle to the dresser.

You groaned and rolled over to your side of the bed with him quickly sliding into his side. You rested yourself against his side, immediately feeling like you were about to fall asleep. Before you drifted off, however, he softly said a few last words for the night;

“You really do keep this place running,” He said kissing your head, “I love you. And I’m really proud of you and everything that you do.”

You looked up at him sleepily, kissing him softly before falling asleep in the arms of the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

#simon x reader #The Walking Dead #the walking dead simon #simon the walking dead #simon twd #twd simon #simon twd x reader #simon twd fanfic #simon twd imagines #twdbegins

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ravenbrenna09 · 4 years

Text

Jij Verliest - Chapter Seven: Clips 9-11

master list

...

Donderdag 18:03

Sander: Hey, how was your stream?

Robbe: It was okay. Were you watching me? Because I literally just hit ‘end stream.’

Sander: No, I’m just now leaving work. Did you want to meet up for dinner?

Robbe: I can’t today. I’m going to meet my mom for dinner. Thursday is our weekly dinner.

Sander: Right, of course. For some reason, I thought it was Wednesday. Which is all the more reason for my text.

Robbe: What text?

Sander: Pack a bag when you get home.

Robbe: What for?

Sander: It’s a surprise ;) But make sure you bring a swimsuit and some shorts.

Robbe: What? What do I need a swimsuit for? Sander?

Sander: It’s a surprise, Robbe. The point is for you not to know.

Robbe: I’m not the biggest fan of surprises.

Sander: It’s a good one, I promise. Just getting some alone time is all.

Robbe: Okay. Does that mean I’m not streaming this weekend?

Sander: Just Saturday. I’ll have you home in time to stream on Sunday ;)

Robbe: Okay, I’ll pack a bag when I get home from dinner.

Sander: Great :) I’ll pick you up at 17:30 tomorrow? My shift ends at 17:00.

Robbe: I’ll see you then.

Sander: Yes :) Call me later?

Robbe: Of course. Wouldn’t miss it :)

…

Donderdag 18:28

As soon as Robbe stepped into her apartment, he could see the knowing look on his mama’s face. Her lips were upturned into a smile and her eyes followed Robbe into the apartment. As they were sitting down to eat their takeout (because his mama had to work late and was too hungry to cook), his phone vibrated on the table. Once the vibration started, the chorus of Rebel, Rebel played shortly after. Robbe rushed to turn it off, knowing it was a text from Sander, and fought the grin he knew was growing on his lips.

His mama watched his actions with a knowing look in her eyes. In an attempt to hide the blush on his cheeks, Robbe ducked his head. But avoiding her gaze did not stop her from asking, with a teasing tone, “Since when do you listen to David Bowie?”

Robbe giggled, feeling his cheeks flush a little more. “I’ve been listening to him recently is all,” Robbe said, shrugging. He bit his lip and didn’t look up at his mother. “His music is amazing.”

“Ah okay,” his mother said. From the light tone of her voice, Robbe could tell that his mother wasn’t buying it at all. She crossed her arms at the edge of the table and turned towards him with a critical eye. “Well, you certainly look happier than you did last week,” his mama said. She leaned towards him with a bright smile on her face and asked, “Does this have to do with Sander? Did you two figure things out?”

Robbe could feel the blush rising on his cheeks and dipped his head down a little further. His mother let out a giggle as Robbe said, “Yeah, we did and we’re together now.” His mama grinned excitedly at him, her dimples popping. “After work on Friday, he came over and we talked about what happened.” They didn’t talk until the morning, but Robbe was never going to admit that to his mother. “He spent the weekend and we went out to dinner on Tuesday.”

His mother smiled. “That’s so sweet, I’m happy for you,” his mama said. As Robbe placed his phone on silent and deposited his phone into his pocket, his mama dumped the contents of her to-go container onto the plate in front of her. Once his mama glanced up, catching his eye, she added, “I can’t wait to meet Sander.” Robbe swallowed. “I can see that he makes you so happy and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

“About that—” Robbe started.

“What? Does he not make you happy?” his mama asked, confused.

“No, no, he does,” Robbe said, smiling. “I promise.” His mama nodded her head. As Robbe struggled to find the words, she kept herself angled toward him as she cut up her food. “I was thinking about you meeting him.” His mama stayed quiet, keeping her eyes focused on him, but Robbe could still see the confusion and worry in her eyes… and he hadn’t even asked the question yet. “Sander and I were talking the other day and he has next Thursday evening off, so I was wondering if you might want to meet him then?”

“I’m not sure,” his mama said, taking a bite of her food. Once she swallowed, she continued. “I know how important he is to you. I want to make sure that I meet him on a good day so I don’t scare him away.” The words made Robbe’s stomach twist—because Robbe knew that she would never scare anyone away—but he kept quiet. “So, maybe, we’ll talk about it next Wednesday? That way we can put everything together and make sure it's a good day for me.”

Since the moment that his father had left them when he was 15, Robbe had vowed that he and his mama would be a package deal. Robbe loved his mama with everything he had and he wanted her in his life for as long as he could manage. Because his father left when things got too much, Robbe was left to help her with the pieces and took care of her on the days where she couldn’t get out of bed.

And his mother knew this.

Maybe it was why she put so much pressure on having a good day when she was meeting his boyfriends and why she was always sad when Robbe insisted on coming over on bad ones. On his mother’s bad days, Robbe felt it tenfold and took care of her because he knew that was what she needed. Sometimes, she welcomed his help, knowing that she needed to be taken care of occasionally. Other days, she despised it and it made her feel like a burden.

At the end of the day, Robbe loved his mama with every fiber of his being and he would always take care of her. His mama loved him just as much—if not more. Since the months she spent in the hospital, Robbe wanted to do anything he could to help her feel better. He knew that he could never completely help her the way that she needed—he wasn’t her doctor nor was he studying to become one—but he wanted to help with the little things, such as washing the dishes or helping with dinner.

And, if she insisted, he would wait so she could meet Sander on a good day, knowing that it would help relieve her anxiety.

It was why, instead of arguing, Robbe reached over to take her hand. She gripped his hand back, shaking slightly, and Robbe pretended not to notice. Running his thumb along the knuckles of her hand, Robbe said, “We can play it by ear. I just wanted to ask you before I asked him.” Smiling, Robbe added, “I just really want him to meet my mama.”

“I really want to meet him, too,” his mama said, sounding calmer. “Maybe we can talk on Tuesday and set it up.” Robbe nodded, grinning over at her. Before Robbe turned back to his food, she added, “But, if I’m feeling bad on Thursday, we can reschedule to the following week.”

“Alright, Mama,” Robbe said. “Whether it’s next Thursday or the one after, it sounds wonderful and I know Sander will be excited to meet you.”

His mama smiled, turning to her food. Letting out a laugh, she pushed herself to her feet and moved to the microwave as she took her container with her. Giggling, she said, “We talked so long that our food is getting cold. Do you want me to heat yours up, sweetheart?” Robbe shook his head and his mama smiled at him before turning back to the microwave.

…

Vrijdag 18:39

No matter how much Robbe asked, Sander remained tight-lipped about where they were going.

During their phone call after Robbe got home from his mama’s, he pestered Sander into giving him information but the only response he got was a teasing smirk and a, “Do you not know the definition of a ‘surprise,’ Robin?” Throughout the rest of the call, Sander had teased him about what they were going to do but gave no real details or explanations. The teasing had only increased the nervous and exhilarating buzz that was present beneath his skin.

Not knowing where they were going frustrated Robbe to no end.

However, at the same time, he was also eagerly anticipating whatever it was that Sander planned for their weekend getaway. Throughout his Friday afternoon stream—moved up to accommodate their trip—he was frequently phasing out of the match and getting killed when he shouldn’t have. About halfway into the second hour of the stream, his chat had a frightening realization and started screaming, or posting in all caps, “OH MY GOD, HE’S GOT A NEW BOYFRIEND,” which simply led to Robbe blushing profusely.

Once he ended his stream, right at 17:00, Robbe made one last check that he packed everything that Sander had told him to bring as well as other necessities. Swimsuit, shorts, shirts, underwear, phone charger, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush… Robbe had packed everything. Now, all he had to do was wait for Sander to arrive at the flatshare to pick him up. As Robbe paced around his room for the fourth time, his phone dinged, announcing Sander’s arrival.

Sander: I’m downstairs ;)

Throwing his bag over his shoulder, Robbe exited his bedroom and stepped into the hallway. Making sure to grab his phone and keys, he shouted goodbye into the nearly-empty apartment and practically flew toward the elevator. Outside the building, Sander was leaning against the passenger side door and grinned flirtatiously at him as Robbe approached.

“Where are we going?” Robbe asked, knowing he wouldn’t get an answer.

Sander leaned down to kiss him and Robbe eagerly stood on his toes to meet him. Sander’s arms wrapped low on Robbe’s waist, pulling them flushed together. Robbe wrapped his arms around Sander’s neck, tugging him closer. Sander let out a low noise before pulling back. “Come on,” he said. Sander stood from against the door, taking Robbe with him, and opened the door with one hand. “We better get going.”

Robbe raised an eyebrow. Sander’s hand on his waist guided him toward the door. “But where are we going?”

A teasing smile spread across Sander’s face. “Get in the car and you’ll see.”

“Sanderrrrrrr.”

Once Robbe got in the passenger side, tossing his bag in the back seat, Sander closed the door behind him and moved to the driver’s side. Before they drove off, Sander started the David Bowie playlist. While Robbe wasn’t surprised, he also recognized the playlist immediately. Whenever the two of them were together, the playlist was always playing. Sander turned up the volume, sending him a grin, as Robbe simply rolled his eyes. Before driving away, Sander leaned over to press one final kiss against his lips.

Throughout the drive, Sander held Robbe’s hand and quizzed him on the songs that came through the speakers. With each correct answer, Sander would beam over at him and squeeze his hand. Whenever he was struggling, Sander would give him hints and tease him the entire time. If he got a question wrong, Sander would tell him and remark that he needed to “study up” for his exam.

After an hour of listening to David Bowie, Sander exited the highway. Still gripping Robbe’s hand, he navigated down long roads without pausing. Even though he could sense they were getting close now, Robbe still did not have a clue where Sander was taking him. As Sander guided them with expert ease, Robbe stared out the window, his eyes finding the large trees that stretched to the sky.

Unexpectedly, Sander slowed down and the blinker of the car flipped on. After a few minutes of wandering down a dark, narrow road, they emerged into a clearing with a cabin perched in the middle of it.

The cabin was beautiful with a teal door that contrasted beautifully with the dark wood siding. The wall in front of them had large windows that peered into the living room and part of a beautiful kitchen. As Sander drove up to the cabin, Robbe could see a large backyard with a patio and possibly a pool behind the house. Once the car pulled to a stop, Robbe turned to Sander, who was staring at him nervously.

“Do you like it?” Sander asked.

“I do,” Robbe said. “But how much did this cost?”

“Didn’t cost anything.”

“Sander—”

“It didn’t cost me anything,” Sander said. He sat up in his seat and cupped Robbe’s cheek, swiping his thumb along his cheekbone and connecting the freckles. Without really thinking about it, Robbe leaned into his touch as Sander watched him with soft green eyes. “It’s Emilie’s cabin. When I mentioned getting out of town to surprise you, she offered the cabin. Normally, they come every weekend. I’ve been invited a few times. Alicia has a test on Monday so they aren’t coming this weekend.”

“Really?” Robbe asked.

“Really.”

Sander leaned forward, connecting their lips. At first, the kiss was gentle and chaste; but the realization of them being alone without having to worry about roommates or streams was enough to break the proverbial dam of emotions. They hadn’t stepped out of the car, but their kiss became deeper, needier, and borderline desperate.

Robbe tugged at the fabric of Sander’s work shirt, trying to pull him closer, but the hindrance of the console between them stopped Sander from being able to do so. One of Sander’s hands fisted at the hair on the nape of his neck, pulling enough to be pleasurable. His other hand dropped to Robbe’s waist, pulling his hips flush against the center, before slipping his hand beneath his shirt. Robbe gasped, trying to pull him closer, but to no avail. The console was still lodged between them.

Sander let out a sigh, breaking the kiss. “Come on,” he said, turning the car off. Reluctantly, he untangled his hand from Robbe’s hair and reached in the backseat to grab the bags. “Let’s go inside.” Robbe nodded. Before he could manage to snag his bag, Sander was taking it out of his reach and stepping out of the car. Robbe stared at him in disbelief before climbing out of the car.

As Robbe stared up at the cabin in awe, Sander wrapped an arm around him. Robbe turned toward him, snaking his arm around his waist. “So, you didn’t spend money on this?”

“Not a dime,” Sander said matter-of-factly. Robbe let out a sigh of relief. “If you and I go out to get some food to cook later, I definitely will pay for it though. But even if it was the priciest cabin in the world, I would still do it because there is nothing in this world that is too expensive for you.”

Despite already knowing the answer, Robbe said, “At least let me pay for something.”

“No.”

“Sander.”

“No,” Sander said matter-of-factly before pressing a featherlight kiss on his lips. Robbe whined, trying to pull him closer, but Sander simply smirked and moved to the front door. As Sander fumbled with the extra set of keys, Robbe stood back, watching him with an amused grin. After a few minutes, the teal door swung open and Sander pulled him into the safety of the cabin.

Immediately after stepping into the living room, there were two thumps somewhere behind him.

Robbe turned, catching sight of their bags abandoned on the floor, before Sander was claiming his lips again. Robbe wrapped his arms around Sander’s shoulders, bringing their bodies flush together. They stumbled against the wall—Sander’s hand protectively cradling the back of his head before trailing down his body. They could’ve kissed for minutes or hours or maybe even days, simply lost in the feeling of being together and alone.

After their kiss, which felt like a glimpse of forever, Sander pulled away from him.

His green eyes were blown wide and his lips were teetering on the edge of bright red. Robbe was certain that he didn’t look much better. But right now, he didn’t care. All he wanted was Sander, kissing him again, chasing that glimpse.

“Come on,” Sander said. He sounded as wrecked as Robbe felt, his impatience threatening to overwhelm him. Sander tugged at the hem of Robbe’s shirt, pulling him from the wall and into an unfamiliar hallway. Without question, Robbe followed his movements, walking backward with Sander guiding him. He bent down, his lips brushing against Robbe’s as he said, “I’ll give you the grand tour.”

#wtfock #wtfam #brenna writes #robbe ijzermans #sander driesen #jij verliest fic #twitch streamer!robbe #tattoo artist!sander #sobbe #rosander #wtfock fanfic #multi clip

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