#every aspect of this message was so kind and honestly i feel like I saw it in a moment when i really needed some support

[meiliarotten]

What's your hcs abt every merc's kinks?

Kink Headcanons (All Mercs!)

🔞Minors DNI🔞

The Masterlist

👟 Scout 👟

Very stereotypical interests, I honestly see Sout as kinda the most vanilla of the mercs

Not completely vanilla though. Not by a long shot

He’s definitely adventurous, and would he willing to try almost anything once as long as he’s with someone he trusts

Plus he’s an addict when it comes to praise

Tell him how good he’s doing while he’s fucking you, and he’ll have a very hard time keeping himself from coming right then and there.

If you’re willing to explore with him, I feel like you would witness quite a few kink awakenings.

Some things I think he would grow to enjoy are pegging, pet play, and femdom, but those are just my opinions!

🦅 Soldier 🦅

America is this man’s kink.

Ok, I’m joking. Kind of.

Soldier likes discipline, and he’ll definitely use his riding crop on you if you let him

However, that discipline goes both ways

He’ll start out with you as the bottom, so prepare to be the receiver of many spankings and swats

Then one day, he comes up to you, uncharacteristically bashful, and hands you the riding crop with a pleading look

He’s too ashamed to say that he wants you to top him, but you get the message real quick.

Once you unlock his switch side, you might even convince him to try pegging. He’s a real “man’s man” though, so make sure you’re delicate about it

🔥 Pyro 🔥

Thankfully, while Pyro is more than eager to play with fire on the battlefield, that fire does not translate into the bedroom (at least, not literally)

While Pyro doesn’t have a mask kink, a partner with a mask kink would be ideal for them, as they don’t like to show their face

However, if you don’t have a mask kink, blindfolds are always an option, and Pyro happens to like those very much

They love watching the way you squirm as the lack of sight enhances all of your other senses

Pyro also has a huge praise kink as well. They like to be told they’re doing a good job.

If they have an especially good day on the battlefield, you could offer to reward them later that night

💥 Demoman 💥

I’m gonna be honest, I was stumped on this one for a while

Eventually I finally settled on pegging

Allow me to explain

Watching the Meet the Demoman I just saw a man who, while he definitely enjoys his job, probably has a shit ton of stress

Add in the comic lore, and you’ve got all these familial expectations he’s gotta live up to as well

Basically, I think a night where he just gets to sit back and get ravished would be good for him

He would also probably have an affinity for oral, as he likes to eat you out in return

🥊 Heavy 🥊

This guy has a size kink. He likes smaller partners, and lucky for him, almost everyone is smaller than him, so he has quite the pool to pick from

There’s almost a kind of protective aspect in it for him. He likes to be able to protect his partner, to shelter them, and most importantly, pamper the absolute hell out of them

Seriously be ready to be waited on hand and foot by your own personal Russian bodyguard

I guess you could almost see it as a kind of service submission

Wow, service sub Heavy was not a take I was prepared to make but it does oddly make sense…

But as for his more dominant side, he doesn’t show it often, especially since he often worries about causing you pain during sex.

Usually you’ll be riding him

However, on the rare occasions when he’s willing, and you’re feeling especially comfortable and receptive, he will allow himself to be rough with you, teasing you about how small you are beneath him

🔧 Engineer 🔧

Toys. Specifically, ridiculously high tech toys.

Say what you will about a mercenary salary, it sure as hell lets you splurge sometimes.

And Engineer has definitely splurged, both on actual toys and on parts that he used to make his own

Yes, you heard (or rather, read) that right, this overachiever is out here making his own sex toys.

You and I both know that the Gunslinger probably has a vibrate function 😏

That said, I think Engie would have a particular kink for the classic “vibrating panties” scenario

Basically you are wearing the panties (or just a bullet vibe inside- it can really be anything that vibrates and stays put, it doesn’t have to be underwear) and Engie gets to press the buttons controlling the vibrations whenever he wants

He likes watching how you squirm and start to talk faster and louder, trying to cover up both the noise and your embarrassment.

He is the king of aftercare though, always letting you know how good you did.

🏥 Medic 🏥

Let’s get the obvious out of the way

I feel like Medic likes a lot of edgeplay. Possibly including blood, scalpels, and a few itty bitty surgeries here and there

Of course, it’s all consensual, but some people could still find it morbid.

On the more chill side, his kinks are actually pretty common.

These include impact play, edging, and sensory deprivation (for example, blindfolds). All of these go for both giving and receiving, btw

However one kink that I think is specific to him is how much he seems to love, and even prefer fucking you in the operating table.

Something about it just seems much more erotic than a normal bed

🦘 Sniper 🦘

Primal play, specifically being the predator in the scenario

Sniper is a pretty outdoorsy guy, so it figures that he would enjoy tracking you through a dense forest while you act as prey

Along with this comes outdoor sex as well

Something about taking you outside just seems so carnal and raw, it really gets him going

Plus, the chase just makes the final capture all the more satisfying, for both of you

Afterwards he’s immediately chill, carrying you back to the van for some much needed aftercare

And I just know someone out there is upset that I didn’t mention piss. I’m sorry. I’m still not gonna mention it.

🌹 Spy 🌹

A weirdly specific idea I’ve always held for Spy is that he likes waxplay

Something about the way the melted wax drips and solidifies in your body is very elegant and erotic to him (I have written a fic about this 👀)

Another big one is knife play. It definitely fits his theme

However, he never uses a sharp knife. The blade is always too dull to actually break the skin. But the way he builds up a scene is effective enough to make you feel as if you’re truly at his mercy

Basically Spy seems like a very formal dom to me, the kind that will lavish you with gifts while also making sure you never act spoiled. Brat tamer Spy, anyone?

Oh, and he likes to be called “sir.”

#tf2 x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #merc x reader #minors dni #smut #tf2 smut #team fortress 2 #tf2 #rotten asks #tf2 headcanons #headcanon #headcanon requests #request

[shawtythatluvsurgut]

gunna have a video of me feeding my feedee up on my onlyfans soon. i’m thinking about starting it back up while i take a break from college because it was kind of empowering to get to own my kink in such a way. I also enjoy sharing that side of myself with all of you. subscription price will be between $8-$10/mo since my feedee is going to be collaborating with me on certain pieces of content. i will maybe begin gaining again once i get my health back in check, we’ll see. i want my muscle mommy build back, and to get that back i’ll have to pack on some weight. so we’ll see what happens with that. ;)

in the meantime and between-time, stay safe. especially on the internet. all of my old rules still apply for messaging me, but i will gradually get back to making regular content and posts. now that i am taking a break from school, i’m working more, but I also have free time on my hands when i’m not working. it feels really nice to get back into the swing of things. I’ve missed you all and I’ve missed the positive aspects of this community.

going forward, i’m just going to block people who talk shit to me or delete their comments (unless it’s of actual importance to discuss). i’m just done engaging with that shit. idk, i’m on new medication that seem to be actually working and i feel stable, so i feel ready to re-embrace this community with open arms.

a special thank you to everyone who continued engaging with me and communicating with me during my break. i appreciate all of your kind words more than you know, and if i didn’t respond to you it was because i didn’t want the answer to “hey how are you?” to be “i’m miserable. how are you?”. but I saw all of you - each and every message, comment, text, etc. - and i just want to say thank you. the people who still proceeded to message me with positivity are the reason I have decided I want to come back.

With all that being said, I hope you will all accept me back. I understand that some of you were upset that I left and didn’t understand my reasonings, but I hope we can reconcile our differences and i can gain your trust again. I’m not the angry person that I became when responding to hate messages, and that also influenced my time away. I could see that my demeanor on this hellsite was changing and I was getting more upset, angry and, honestly, afraid of going on here (let alone posting myself on here). However, that has changed. I’ve been working on being more optimistic and caring less about the negative opinions of others. Frankly, if someone doesn’t like me or my content they should just be an adult about it and either reach out to discuss that or ignore me. If they can’t do that, I believe they are childish and need to get a grip. There are some key things I’ve learned in life that I want to share with people who are as I described above:

- your comfort is not someone else’s responsibility. if it makes you uncomfortable, then don’t engage. It’s as simple as that.

- no one has to cater to your interests. everyone lives on their own agenda. your wants and desires do not take priority over the wants and desires of others. sure, there are some people who will cater to your every wish, but i’m definitely not one of them.

- similarly to above, your desires do not take priority over someone’s health. that includes both mental health and physical health. (death feedism is a thing if you are interested in someone wanting to gain while not caring about their health. this is not a death feedism page and i suggest you go search in the tags for that if it is what you are looking for. I do not want to kill my feedee, nor do I want him or I to gain enough weight to become immobile or at risk in any way. As hot as the idea is to me at times, we are both too active and work in active careers for that to be a realistic possibility for us. maybe someday i’ll get a stay at home job and get really big, or maybe someday he will. only time can tell. sorry for the length, i’m high. i’ll stfu now.

- people don’t care. no stranger online owes it to you to care that you don’t like their body, or that you don’t like this or that. it doesn’t matter because that person does not know you. there’s no point in wasting time caring about your negative comment unless it’s actually useful and constructive commentary.

So anyways, i’m back in business again. gonna post some FA art soon + start uploading to my OF again. I thank any of you who read this far and again I hope you can accept me back into the community.

Thanks,

Nico

#female feeder #ffa #nico speaks #i’ve wanted to say this for a while now #and i’m high enough to not fking care anymore #i’m back babey!!1!1!1!!1!1!!!!!1!1!1!!!!

[munkiey]

Hey I saw some Macaque fanart that looked eerily similar to yours and just wanted to let you know (I might be making a deal of nothing but yeah I'll include a screenshot of the art):

Alright so.

1: This is likely someone who is doing screenshot redraws from the same images I did that came from a published show that is accessible to millions.

2: Tracing is actually a great way to learn.

Now, credit should be given obviously but there is a huge stigma from folks online about tracing. I can almost promise you that some of your favorite artists out there will look at a work they like and go 'how did they do this?'

Best way to get into the head of another artist? Trace it.

I've done traces of other artists that I admired and honestly I learned a lot from doing so. Did I post these or ever claim them as my own? Absolutely not, that is when you're stealing.

Thousands of professional comic artists, or almost every skilled artist you can think of has traced. This little waltz is like a baby bird taking its first haphazardly drunk steps across a ice pit. We call them screenshot redraws today, but in the fine arts spectrum, they're called Master Studies.

Because you're looking at someone who has already accomplished something and you want to see how they did it, how you can apply it, and how you as an artist can grow.

The beauty of art is that we can take aspects of things we like and add onto our own work. Its an amalgamation of influences that compound together to create the concept we call an artist. I love seeing where people draw their inspiration from.

3: Personally, I think that it's good that this person is taking some steps into digital and learning. Looking at the line weight and the way they use their tools it seems that they're still learning how they want to navigate the digital platform. This is a great way for them to improve an if they had, allegedly, used my images at reference then I'm honored they saw something to admire in it!

The fact that they practiced at all is way more than I can say for others that say they want to improve but don't put the effort in.

4: Now, final point here.

In the future, please do not come to me like this.

I appreciate you trying to give me a heads up, but I'm not going to sit here and reprimand or police people. This kind of message to me feels like a rather deliberate attempt to stir up drama, which if it was not your intention and you genuinely were just looking out for me, I appreciate you trying. The way I see it though, reporting people like this or going after what may very well be kids trying to learn creates a toxic mentality that I don't want anything to do with. I've been there, done that, and been on the receiving end of that nastiness.

I've learned a lot through my time online and the big lesson sometimes is just to let people do what they're gonna do.

Seriously though, who ever did this has a very cute style. I like the smile headshot there in the middle.

Stay wild <3

#rant #tracing #ask #munkiey

[wasyago]

hi! this is the bunch-a-questions anon. this wont be an ask ask. thank you for answering! it really gives me so much insight about tools and processes, i really enjoy seeing/reading how different artists have different ways in approaching creation of art. it’s all so interesting to me

and oooh i know what you mean about looking at a lot of different artists! it’s inspiration!! i find those things to be amazing too, it’s so cool. it’s like “this spot is inspired by an artist” “this artist draws this like this, so i wanted to try” “i think the way an artist drew this was neat and i wanted to try an implement it” it reminds me of that one post how we, as people, are a mosiac of other people and i believe it to be the same for how artists are too with their art

i feel inspired by the way you draw….. everything!!! it gets me pumped to try and replicate the way you do some things. like the shapes you create, the colors you choose, the way your lineart seems to be so flowy, how dynamic everything feels and how different each drawing you create is from one another (i saw you reblog that meme of like “why shouldnt i draw characters from the waist up and that is SO me, but it’s shoulders up” because drawing full bodies makes mh drawings feel so stiff, i need to practice more!!), the poses of the characters. just.. every aspect of your art is so, so, so nice!!

the way you draw, in all your styles, it’s definitely one of the ones that is such a good scratch to my brain. it gets me all giddy and happy! i’m not sure if i’ll get into jwri, mostly because my attention span will not let me be able sit and focus on listening before i get distracted and miss context on parts, BUT i still go to your blog almost every day just so i can see your art, no matter what it is, no matter who the characters are because it’s always so so good and i love taking it in. (will eat your art if i could, i am so serious)

this was a long one but yeah! i just wanted to let you know how awesome i see your art is! and how i also think youre a cool person, you seem like such a good peep to hang out it! might be weird to say but if you were a blorbo, you would be one of the most blorbiest blorbos to blorbo ever

hope youre having a good day!!

OH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND WORDS THIS IS SOOOOO

your explanation of taking inspiration from other artists was so poetic and beautiful! truly inspiring in itself

its okay if you can't get into jrwi, i get it! i didn't think i would get into it as well and after binging all the episodes i honestly forgot why i even started listening in the first place. remembered recently tho! it was because i was going a little crazy while making the picrew and needed some actual talking in the background instead of just music. so, if you ever decide to give it a try, or listen to something else equally as lengthy, try to busy your hands with something that doesn't require a lot of thinking! it helps me at least! worked both with jrwi and tma. it's like, doing something monotonous (knitting, sorting files, cleaning the house, etc) can be incredibly boring if i sit in silence and let my mind wonder. alternatively, listening to something long or watching a long movie can be incredibly boring as well because i struggle to pay attention to the same thing for two hours. but combining these is really good, because it keeps both my mind and hands busy, but not overwhelmingly so!

and ough ough ough thank you again for such heartwarming message! im so happy to hear that you feel inspired by my art, and i wish you good luck in your own art journey!!!!!!! remember to have fun and listen to yourself and do things that you find interesting and that you enjoy! don't force yourself to draw stuff you don't like! all art is personal and individual, so don't be afraid to make things "you"! you don't have to do clean line, you don't have to do lines at all, you don't have to do coloring or shading, if you don't like it! and if you do like it or are excited to try, you should go for it! don't be afraid to change and grow but don't force yourself into it!

also don't foget to stretch before drawing its very important!!!!!!!!!!!!

#yagotalk

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

Hey Ella. I thought I'd come to you with this because you always give off a kind and sympathetic nature so at the very least I won't be treated like a shitty person for what I want to say.

I'm really struggling with Harry atm and it's actually kinda devastating because I never saw this happening. There is so much around Harry that I vehemently dislike, from the people around him to aspects of his public image and narrative. I was so good at separating all that from Harry himself but lately I've been feeling my bitterness bleeding onto Harry. I've seen this happen so much. People who were originally fans getting annoyed at small things and that growing bigger into bitterness and hate. I don't want to be one of these people.

What is making this worse is that I as a person do not place a high value on things like career and ambition. Not in my own life and not in others. So it's getting hard for me to relate and support Harry in his ambition as to me there are infinitely more important things in life. This wasn't a major factor before because his fame and success wasn't at the level it is now.

I honestly don't know what I'm trying to do with this message. I guess I would just appreciate some perspective if you're willing because I genuinely do not want to start resenting Harry. Honestly just typing this is making me tear up.

hi kind anon, i think you're dealing with a pretty common problem in the fandom these days. it's tough to feel like you don't relate to someone you really always felt comfort with. maybe a first step is to take a breather from the fandom as well as gp/main media talk about harry. no twitter (and i'm not saying this bc i have a weird biased thing against twitter. it's a place where opinions are thrown around like it's something ppl have been begging for, like it's fact, and it's really hard to keep reading opinions and debates without getting influenced), no harry content on instagram, no tiktok. i am not interested in anything others have to say about him, and i actively shield myself from it. i don't watch videos others have made with commentary, i don't read articles, i don't even read discourse on here usually. i think the habit of picking everything apart, of making sure you focus on the negative to properly enjoy the positive, is unhealthy, or at least for me. i know myself enough to not fall into blindness or naivety when it comes to what's wrong with enormous success and the industry. i just don't feel the need to get into it every time harry achieves something.

when it comes to harry's ambition and success, i just know (from what he's shown over the years, but the full extent we never will) how much it means to him. i think it's also a mix of actually wanting to be big for him and getting as high as he can to prove that he can to everyone who told him he couldn't. i don't relate to it either, and i don't think it's cool to have all those riches, but i still cry with harry when he cries of joy at his madison sq garden banner. i'm okay living with that nuance without always debating it. i love his music, i love his artistic vision, i love his lyrics, i love the way he carries himself. i also know i don't know him, that i never will, and that there are things he does and says i don't agree with. i have the exact same thing with some of my lifelong best friends, as they have with me. i'm okay with that. happy, even, of how unique and imperfect we all are

what i do, and what keeps me so in love with harry beyond the noise of the gp and the fandom, is focus on what makes me love him. remember that this is an interest, something that makes you happy, and not your object of study, or your career in politics. enjoy it all for you, enjoy it offline as well. and then, i guess, if that doesn't do the trick, a few steps away from harry and all that surrounds him might be necessary to let go of the bitterness. bc you can also just stop liking something, and that's also okay

#kind anon #i hope this helps? #i also see the irony in me not reading discourse but writing three paragraphs of it #anyway #harry discourse

[floofweaver]

Mismatched, Misunderstood

I don't know if I'll finish this in time before the event ends because my muse is fighting me and motivation is saying no, but I'm posting what I have done so far in case anyone is interested. If I do end up finishing the fic, I'll delete this post.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ugh, definitely not him. Swipe left. Ooh, this guy’s cute. Swipe right. Nope, not another jock. Swipe left. Cute, but doubt he’ll match back. Swipe right. Not a football fan. Swipe left. Hmm, cute blonde dude. Damn, look at those muscles. Must be a bodybuilder of some kind. Swipe right. Swipe left.

Placing your phone down with a sigh, you take a sip of your coffee and relax as the warm, sugar-filled drink fills your mouth. It’d been nearly six months since your break-up with Orion. Dating for you had been rough; as had life in general. Certain textures on your tongue or your hands could lead to feeling nauseous. Too many sounds overlapping each other or loud noises all at once could lead to headaches. Socializing was made difficult by many aspects. Like the fact anything you enjoyed usually stuck around tenfold. Some people would watch a show and then move on when it ended. But for you, some shows or movies stuck with you. They became part of you. It was hard finding other people like that to make friends with, let alone dating.

Orion had felt like the perfect match. He showed interest in your artwork, your favourite media, and even indulged in your plushie hoard. Anytime he saw you eyeing a plushie while the two of you were out and about, he’d nudge you or tease you about it. You’d act like you didn’t know what he was talking about, of course, but later on in the day when the two of you returned home; you would then burst out in glee with your feet tippy-tapping away while you held your latest plush to your chest he just gifted you. The exact same plush you were eyeing in the stores earlier.

Little did you know that the gifts were almost always well-timed; meant to distract you from finding the truth. The truth that you discovered months ago that led to the breakup. It was a simple accident, really, but everything fell apart that day. You and Orion were just doing typical apartment cleaning on the weekend, like always, when he suggested you pull up your music playlist on his phone; which was connected to the apartment living room speakers. 

You pulled up YouTube and navigated to your profile, where you had your playlists set up and organized. Today felt like a “✨Hype Up!✨” kind of day, so that was the playlist you went with. Upbeat tunes were always perfect for cleaning. Or rather, dancing while cleaning. And singing. While cleaning… You were just about to press play when the message came through. 

Your heart stopped and you froze. Layla. Layla was messaging Orion again? You felt like you had just been punched in the gut. Layla had been Orion’s ex-fiancee and they hadn’t seen each other in years. Or… so you had thought. Several minutes of silence went by and when Orion finally noticed you hadn’t moved or started the music, that’s when he had come into the living room. You had anxiously asked him if it was a mistake, and that’s when the truth spilled. You were a “terrible lay” and he only tolerated you out of pity. In fact, if it weren’t for him, you probably would’ve killed yourself after Riley’s death, right?

It’s not Orion’s fault that he cheated on you. With his ex-fiance. And a co-worker. And… a married woman. Honestly, you should feel so lucky he chose you. So lucky, in fact, that he started throwing things at you. And yelling at you. At first you were frozen, overwhelmed by emotions and the fact that your relationship that you loved so much was founded on lies. The specifics are a blur, too painful to remember every detail. But at some point during that day, you packed what you could into your car and broke up with Orion. Left him right then and there at the apartment you two previously shared. You ended up staying with a close friend for awhile. It was meant to be temporary, but Sam didn’t have any complaints about hosting you.

Your thoughts about the past were interrupted and you were promptly brought back to the present by the sound of your phone going off. Fly Like An Eagle was playing and you immediately knew it was Sam Wilson. Good ol’ Sam. Thanks to your brother Riley, you had gotten to know Sam. You met Sam through the Department of Veterans Affairs when showing up to volunteer to help war vets with trying to integrate back into society. Sam was a bit of a tough love kind of guy but he was there for you when Riley didn’t come home and he was there for you during your breakup with Orion.

“Hey Sam. What’s up, birdbrain?”

“Ohhh, so it’s like that, is it? Where you at, songbird?”

“Avoiding your dumb face by sipping coffee at The Compass Cafe.”

“Yeah, well this dumb face is missing you down at the centre. Could use your help with today’s luncheon if you’re up for it.”

“Hmm…. Nah, I think I’ll mope here for a few more hours. Maybe they could use my broken heart for a new recipe.”

You were trying to be sarcastic, but Sam could read you well even over the phone. You heard him sigh and let out a soft chuckle. 

“I think they’ve got coffee darker than that, doubt they need your broken heart for any of it. How ‘bout you come down here and tell me about this whole Tinder thing you’re trying out? Then we can go out for burgers and watch TV til we pass out?”

A soft smile was brought to your lips at Sam’s offer. Always the good bro, just like Riley. Oh, he’d let you mope, but not for very long. And not without threats of taking you out on his morning jogs.

“Okay, okay fine. I’ll meet you there, but promise me no morning jogs? I’m okay, Sam, I promise. Just feeling a bit skeptical about the Tinder app and dating in general. Riley had it easy because women would just fawn all over him, but his weirdo sister with a plushie pile rarely gets guys to look twice at her.”

“Alright, Eeyore. Just get your butt down here or I’ll find a way to steal a pair of Falcon Wings to come get you myself.”

You laugh at Sam’s response and end the call, promising you’d be at the centre soon. Tossing your trash on the way out the door, you left the café and crossed the parking lot. Once in your car, you started playing your latest playlist - “☀Hope☀”. It was the playlist you listened to in order to boost your mood and keep your head out of the clouds. As the music started to play, you pulled out of your parking spot and headed out of the parking lot to head for the Veteran Supplement Support Center.

#marvel #mcu #sam wilson #captain america: the winter soldier #steve rogers x reader #kfloof-fics

[livelymyrtle]

Honestly atp I don’t know how to feel about Lin Manuel Miranda. I don’t want to be in that crowd of the “Hamilton and everything else he does sucks and it’s all awful” because it’s not really true… Hamilton was very good (mostly brought down from excellence by the second act), and I actually quite liked Encanto (aside from the fact that Abuela gets pretty much excused at the end + Disney forced him to do stuff like writing in Isabela). In The Heights I haven’t paid much attention to, but what I saw I remember being good, and I know he has plenty of other gems…

so why is it that I, like so many people, am just not feeling it? Netizens have recently been feeling more meh on him or even begun to hate him. So why this shift in perspective?

I think the sudden scrutiny against LMM has two main components:

1) Overexposure

After Disney has been putting him in everything, which was already after everyone was saturated with Hamilton and ITH stuff, I think people are just getting a bit sick of the man. It’s especially damning for Lin that he tends to make every main character himself, and that he has such a distinctive lyrical style(or rather, he is unwilling to diverge from that style - he wrote How Far I’ll Go for Moana and that was more off par for him). As a result, it just feels like you are watching the same thing over and over and over again with him - and at this point it’s just getting kind of exhausting to see him all the time doing what feels like the exact same thing.

It also probably doesn’t help that he has become associated with Disney just as Disney has begun losing popular favor. Nowadays, they mostly are doing mediocre movies with the exact same plot, characters, art style, aesthetic, and message(basically trying to be Studio Ghibli in plot except that they don’t have the slow pensiveness, nor the understanding of what consumers actually want, nor the desire to create art for art’s sake), and extremely awful live action remakes that literally nobody likes, so Disney’s new stuff has been bleeding popularity like a bullet wound. Now, people think of Lin in the same vein that think of their disappointment with Disney, which is probably not making him look better. I’ve even seen people blame Disney’s negative shift on him, which isn’t really fair, but… I can see why someone would draw that conclusion, you know?

2) More importantly, cultural shift in attitudes.

Post COVID and what I like to call the Reality Exodus, everyone went on their phones, got really depressed and pessimistic, and got really online. I think that this has directly lead to why people are no longer ok with some aspects of LMMs stuff. In 2015-16, we all loved Hamilton: it was an inclusive and fresh new take on US history, something that we were pretty starved of pride in. With the election of Trump, things seemed bleak: but people remained hopeful still that there could be pride in this country. The concept of Miranda only hiring actors of color was also just the right amount of groundbreaking but not too shocking for the culture - we were committed to diversity, but not so much to the point where we wanted truly diverse stories to be told, so the all-POC cast in a very white story was a good way to knock on the glass ceiling without breaking it. The added message of “we are all a part of America” was fitting for the widespread “we don’t see color, everyone is welcome, hakuna matata” brand of anti-racism that was the most widely accepted narrative at the time.

But as we got into COVID, we see In the Heights released. And all of a sudden, the Twitter mob has come out against LMM for… colorism in his casting, of all things??? Casting that was very diverse?? And that he wasn’t even in charge of anyway???

In hindsight the whole Twitter cancellation thing seems ridiculous, but I do think it’s an important example of how much more aware and critical we had gotten as a culture. And I think our new perspectives shifted our views on some of his earlier work, too: namely, Hamilton.

After COVID, a play written by a nonblack man about rapping slave masters (but they are all played by POC) didn’t really seem all that revolutionarily anti-racist. We as a culture had developed our understanding of racial theory to a different, more radical narrative: we should start uplifting the stories of real POC and make actual changes. All of a sudden, LMM’s rooting for diversity just didn’t seem genuine anymore the the culture at large. I think that has played one of the biggest parts in his loss of popular favor.

And that’s where we get to now: I just don’t know what to think. I mean, on the one hand, of course Lin Manuel Miranda does some great stuff artistically. But his art, his messaging, his image in general has become associated with an era of lenient attempts at equality that I just don’t really support. And no, before you think it, this isn’t going to devolve into the regular separation of art and artist stuff. But it is a question of separation: Can we separate the goodness of an art piece from its intent? Can we judge art or media as being good objectively? And how important of a part does messaging play in what makes something “good”?

My answer? I don’t know. I need a cup of tea and a nap. Peace.

#lin manuel miranda #alexander hamilton #lmm #in the heights #encanto #hamilton musical #musicals #personal essay #commentary/opinion #social commentary #media analysis #we live in a society #theater #discourse #philosophy #breadtube

[fannish-karmiya]

The Terrifying Reach of Censorship

The Guardian just ran this article on tech moguls and censorship in China, and beyond being absolutely terrifying, it provides some really fascinating (and, again, terrifying) insight for fans of Cdramas and novels as to why sometimes a drama falls under the cutting block for no apparent reason:

“No matter what kind of hotshot you are, we will always have a way of showing you who’s boss,” the person said, making an offhand remark about Tencent’s owner, Pony Ma. “Don’t think because you control a billion users and moved to Singapore or some overseas country that we can’t do anything about you.” The official told me that when regulators felt Tencent needed to be taught a lesson, they would step up censorship efforts, block or shut down web services till the company got the message.

This is talking about tech services like WeChat (slow messages for global users down as a message to the company, yikes), but the same attitude seems to be at play with TV shows winding up blocked in mainland China. They didn’t necessarily contain any content which the CCP genuinely found objectionable; they were just targeted as a message to the companies that own the rights to them that they are not in charge.

I think fans of Chinese media outside of China often forget just how omnipresent and terrifying the CCP is, and how just about anything can wind up on the cutting block because they want to make a statement and remind citizens that they live under their heel. Another article discusses how Hollywood studios are encouraged to self-censor their movies in order to make it past the censors of the CCP and gain access to the Chinese market:

There's a literal list of rules that the censors in Beijing use as something of a checklist. So when a movie has finished filming and it is ready for release, a copy of it is sent to Beijing to the Ministry of Propaganda, where a collection of censors who tend to be a collection of state bureaucrats and even some film studies professors watch the movie. 

[...]

In 2006, Mission: Impossible III filmed some scenes in Shanghai that feature Tom Cruise running through the streets, and in the background there is laundry drying on clotheslines from apartment buildings, and the Chinese authorities requested that that laundry be edited out of the frame because they thought it presented an image of China that was more backwards than they wanted the world to see. 

[...]

So for example, there was a film that came out more than a decade and a half ago called In Good Company, and it's a pretty innocuous romantic comedy starring Topher Grace as this young guy who gets a job and displaces the older boss. And it seems like a pretty run of the mill PG-13 family friendly film. It nonetheless did not get into China. And at the time, the head of the Motion Picture Association started asking around in Beijing why that was the case. He couldn't understand why a movie that obviously was not nearly as politically charged as something like Kundun would not get into China. And the authorities said, "It's a movie about the younger generation challenging the system and taking on the powers that be, and that's a theme that we cannot abide here in China."

Even though neither article is about things like dramas and novels or any of the media we’re interested in, I think they still give us some great (and frightening) insight into just how omnipresent the CCP’s censorship and control is, and how it affects every aspect of what stories can be safely written and published in China.

I honestly feel terrible for artists in China; it must be both frustrating and terrifying to live like that, having to self-censor your own work for your safety and fear that you might still wind up being targeted not because you did anything ‘wrong’ but because the government simply wants to send a statement about its own power.

*

(note: I just saw these articles in the news and decided to write up something short about this. I haven’t gone digging for more information specific to censorship of dramas, novels and the areas fandom is interested in. I may go digging for some in future, but for now this is just a ‘before lunch’ post, not a full essay or analysis of censorship, which might make me cry.)

[yeetlegay]

hi, genuinely sorry to dump this all on you but also, would love to get your opinion on this!

I’m having kind of…qualms with kinnporsche since it aired. i’ve been so excited for the show since the first trailer dropped and im not necessarily disappointed per say, i feel like im mostly just trying to understand what i should be expecting from the show?? i think firstly, kinn and porsche’s characters in the show feel different than they were in the trailers (they feel WILDLY different from the first trailer lol) which isn’t honestly a bad thing at all, just again. different expectations. porsche’s character feels the most different; i definitely thought he was gonna be a lot more serious/focused and then gets swayed by his feelings for kinn etc. the thing i never expected was his goofy side (again not a bad thing at all but it leads to my main point which is —> ) i feel like the slapstick comedy of it completely blindsided me and i just dont. get it??? it’s honestly not that the comedy is bad, i just don’t really understand where it fits in. the show is everything it promised to be: great acting, production, styling, plot for the most part, writing for the most part, characters, directing, cinematography, etc everything is such high quality and when they stick to that it works so well but the comedy (specifically the slapstick-ness of it all) always seems so out of place with everything the show is trying to be and i can’t really understand the decision to include it. like these actors are GOOD the directing is GOOD the story is GOOD the production is EXPENSIVE i just (in the nicest way possible) don’t understand why they waste it on like. a few cheap jokes 😶

episode 5 was PHENOMENAL for this exact reason because it finally felt like the show we saw in the trailers. it had so many scenes that just wowed me: the opening scene, the bathroom mirror breakdown scene (which was so reminiscent of the hidden messages trailer), the sex parallels scene, the drunk confrontation scene ALL SO GOOD and showed off exactly what the show is trying to show off: its high quality acting, directing, and styling. i just feel like this episode was exactly what ive been waiting for since ep 1 and i just really really hope they stick with this vibe for the rest of the show it just serves them so so well. again, not hating on the comedy or the show whatsoever and i do not mean to be a stick in the mud AT ALL lol we’ve gotten some great moments from it, but i was just wondering if y’all felt the same or if maybe i really am just being a hater 😅 (also could be - hopefully - worried about nothing and they were just trying to keep things light in the first few eps before delving into the angst lol)

Given that first trailer was by a totally different production company and crew, the final product was always going to be way different once Be On Cloud got ahold of it, and I personally am so happy it turned out that way! You’re right that the first trailer and what we actually got are two totally different things, so I get that it could be hard to adjust your expectations with all the changes made.

As far as the comedy aspect goes, I’m by no means an expert in the Thai film and tv industry or even just Thai culture in general, so I don’t want to generalize too much, but I’ve found that pretty much every series I’ve watched, even the more serious melodramas, will feature some amount of this style of comedy, and atp I’m inclined to say it’s just par for the course! It’s not necessarily everyone’s cup of tea, and if you’re coming from a Western lens the mix of comedy and drama can be jarring at first. It’s maybe less immediately accessible to, say, an American audience or a British one, so there can be a bit of adjustment needed to get used to this style.

I did really like the comedy of the first few eps bc I do think, like you mentioned, that the show from this point is going to get darker, and we needed some moments of levity in the beginning to sort of set the stage and get us used to the characters before they get dumped into all these shitty situations. They’ll need to have those lighter, happier, funny memories when they’re in their darkest moments, and tbh we will too lol.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not finding the comedy to your taste - what we like is what we like! If you want to keep watching but aren’t jazzed about having the same amount of comedy that we got in the first few eps, then I’d stick it out for a while yet bc I’m pretty confident we’ll be diving into a lot darker and more serious stuff soon with more of that insane acting from Mile and Apo.

#kinnporsche #yeetle asks

[thetaekookcloset]

I joined fandom thinking army are so great because never seen any artists appreciating their fans the way BTS does but saw a really different side. Even though I am a jk bias stan, love his voice, the way BTS fans behaviour is so hypocritical. I knew my baby always gets hate from major jikookers and pjms but I also feel pity for Taehyung. I never used to like taekookers because some are really delusional, followed your account only coz you talk sensibly and respects both of them so I respect you in return. Never had much of an impression of Taehyung though coz thought he was always army fav or something and coz of him jungkook gets hate thrown. Even if i am more of indifferent towards Taehyung never want him to get death threat coz that thing is pretty cruel. Now I see army trending dynamite anniversary, freejiminfromtaekookers and complaining about Jim's interview and I am blown away how people are not doing anything for Taehyung. I mean wasn't he a fav? No votes for SDA and death threat thing on Max ot7 account. Wah! I think I need to change my perspective a little. Saw his solo begging people to vote but.... Feeling pity for that guy got a shitty fandom. Might be bitter but it's the truth, funny no Taekook bloggers are addressing this issue.

I hear you, anon -- and thank you very much for your kind words, by the way.

I think the thing is that with a fandom this massive, you’re naturally going to have so many different kinds of people, in every little corner and faction of the fandom.  There are shippers and supporters, non-shippers, solos, antis, OT7s, people with biases who still love the group as a whole, and that’s just the people who consider themselves deep fans of at least a member of BTS.

Then we all see different parts of those different aspects of the fandom, and we all choose to engage with them in different ways.  I think a lot of people with a bias tend to see their fave as being less well-treated, both by the company and by other fans, and because the fandom is so big, there’s always a reason for them to think and feel that way.  Taehyung stans are always going to see Taehyung antis and feel like Tae is getting the short end of the stick, you know?  Whereas Jimin stans will always think Taehyung is the obvious favorite of both the company and the fandom.  This is just one example, it’s a phenomenon that seems to perpetuate itself throughout the fandom over and over again.

Personally, I’ve seen a lot of people on Twitter specifically talking about voting for Tae for SDA and reporting the death threats.  I haven’t been talking about these things on the blog for a couple of reasons.  One is that I assume most people are aware of it already and it isn’t really what I use this space for, nor is it something I want to dwell on in this space.

Obviously the death threat issue is disgusting and I think it’s horrible when it happens to anyone.  It honestly made me feel sick to see those messages and I mostly just hope that Taehyung himself didn’t see them, and that none of the members did, frankly.

But as for the fandom as a whole, I just feel like it’s too massive to generalize in any direction.  Even the subsets of this fandom are so huge that I don’t like to make generalizations about them for the most part, especially since I know how frustrating it can be to have all Taekookers lumped together as though we share one mind and all believe the exact same ideas.

#ask

[1d1195]

Hi Sam!! How are you doing my love?!? I’ve missed you😭 this week has been slightly better, still very busy and lowkey feeling a bit burnt out :( but I think I may be getting out of my depressive episode so that’s good at least HAHA

Anywaysssss I read the time extra and omg it was so heartbreaking but in such a beautiful way! I feel SO much for this Harry like SO much! Like my heart hurts for him but I really appreciate their story! I just wanted to go shout out at him how loved he is by everyone especially the MC! And ugh my heart hurt so much that he thought she would not want to marry him at all😭 and the proposal in their little kitchen was just so adorable?!?!!! It’s so very them and I loved it!! So well done Sam, you never fail to amaze me❤️ and I don’t ever feel bad for not posting anything, you are consistently doing WAY more than enough for us honestly that you deserve to go at a pace where you’ll still be able to enjoy what you do! We will all still be here now matter what!

ILY bestie hope that you are well and are having such lovely days!!!-💜

Oh I'm so glad to hear you're feeling a little better! Even if a bit burnt out. I relate to the burnt out feeling immensely. I hope you find some time to yourself and time to rest. Do you have spring break soon? Any fun plans? Whenever people ask me what I'm doing over break I always say nothing which is EXACTLY what I want to do over break. I don't want to do anything or have any obligations. Also I cannot afford trips and such so it's not really much of a choice. Anyways, I've missed you and I'm glad you're on the mend 💕 just reading what your message you sound better than the last couple times you chatted with me. I hope that's encouraging, too!

I was very grateful to get the idea from one of my sweet anons about this piece, but I was very stressed about it hahahahaha I had essentially 'written' the little series while I was commuting to work over the course of like two or three years as crazy as that sounds. Then when I started writing again I finally got it into actual typed font. But I was in a pretty bad place when I was thinking about it. So it was really nice to write something fluffy and light for this little couple but it was a little hard to get back into the mindset of Harry feeling a bit lost (which I guess is a positive sign for my mental health). I think it was really cute to see their private proposal. I imagine they did the whole dinner thing with their friends and families but I think Harry was a lot calmer knowing the answer ahead of time (even if he's ridiculous for thinking she'd say no).

Thank you so much for your endless kindness towards me and my posting schedule. I'm genuinely considering calling in sick one day this week because I'm simply struggling. I've been feeling very overwhelmed and stretched thin. I don't know if this is a normal amount of things that every other adult has to do or if I'm just being a whiny brat. I never feel like I have time to myself and I feel behind in every aspect of my life. I'm behind at work, I'm behind in my personal health, I'm behind with my chores, need to see my family, and should probs spend some more quality time with my bf. But it's a lot and idk how people do all this all the time. But calling in sick as a teacher just usually means more work for myself in the end so it's probs not worth it and I'll get caught up eventually.

ANYWAYS. Honestly, I'm doing fine. It could be worse, lol I hope you're having a good weekend and really it was the best to see your message and hear you're doing better! I was hoping you would message me soon--I think our brains lined up because I thought about it most of yesterday and then saw your message right before i went to bed 💕💕

LOVE YOU!

xoxo

#💜

[one-of-tankhuns-neurons]

Let's talk Friends Forever

Honestly, because the My Universe directors are all different it is kind of a hit or miss with the storytelling and whatnot. It ranges from absolute fucking masterpiece (with Right Time Right You) to what's arguably a fifth semester film student project (with Fake Love) but let's focus for a second on this story in particular.

I'll focus only on what I believe to be the good parts, as I am in a goOd moOd todAy.

1 The Message: it doesn't take long

We all know My Universe is tackling some serious topics, one of them being abuse, in different ways. We saw in RTRU with the alcoholic ex and how it destroys a relationship, then in Lucky love where we see the abuse and how people run away from it and now we get Friends Forever. The buildup is quite subtle. We are given a relationship to root for, but then it becomes slightly uncomfortable. Form the moment I saw the scene in the stairs where the coach runs off angrily and pushes Pun I felt it in the pit of my stomach. "He's gonna kill him". My mind immediately went there. Basically this show said 'You cannot wait to get out, because the next time might be the one that ends your life'. You feel somewhat guilty for rooting for them in the beginning, and as it progressively gets worse... When he hits him w/o his consent, to the sneaking around, to the pulling him away from his friends to finally claiming he LOVES HIM and has done everything for him. Violence is not something we should tolerate, no matter how pretty it seemed at first. It's not always poetic and human, sometimes it's destructive and pure obsession.

2 The way it's presented to you

I kinda went into this in the first point but the way this is showed it kinda turns the viewer into one of the friends, just slightly more aware of the situation. You know about the relax but you're still there with them when they follow them, you would've done the same. When they ran off to talk and they didn't check on them, you're part of that. As the fight isn't initially shown, you're still with the boys when they wake up, and when they find out their friend was murdered by this boyfriend you're the guiltiest of all... Because you knew. You saw the signs yet you remain in this passive role where you're a mere witness who wanted them to be in love and now he's dead. And as viewers we live on with the boys. We see them struggle with the loss and the guilt and the sadness. The main character was always the friend group, and the main point is.. in real life, would you have noticed? Would you have checked on your friend during the night?

3 The MEMORIES

It is obvious that all of the memories that are shown in the episode are from the first part. We get that, but when they keep getting replayed over and over again it gets a bit tiring. I was getting slightly annoyed by having to rewatch them every two minutes when a new character appeared at the locker room. In my head I was already planning out how I would've constructed the character by showing how every friend remembered a different aspect of his personality but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. They keep replaying the same three moment, the same memories be a the main character is still the friends group, it not about individuals, and they keep repeating those scenes because... IT IS WHAT THEY GET. The memories they made together... That's all they get to remember him, and it's gonna be the same memories over and over again bc they don't get to make new ones. Just like in History 3:MODC... That boy is stuck in that moment forever.

4 the ghost shit.

I cried sO fucking hard. I mean we all knew My Universe was obviously gonna pull some outta pocket shit but this goodbye was bittersweet. It is just there to give them relief, to lighten the weight of the guilt they've carried for the last three years and they'll probably carry forever (I even have my theory that Phols personality change was triggered to some extent by the incident). I love the fact that they didn't make him a bitter ghost, he didn't blame his friends, he just wanted to say goodbye to them. For one last moment they can see their group together and they were gifted something most people don't get: closure. We get that as well, we get to see the character one last time as we couldn't do anything either. That moment is for us as well.

I really love this show, even if some of the directors are better than others. It's a great project to showcase new talent, to experiment with complexity and style. It's literally my No.1 Show of the year. Hands down.

#friends forever bl #bl drama #boys love #thai bl #why does this dumb fucking show keep making me cry and feel bad #and why do i praise it so much #am i a fucking masochistic? #i guess i am now #or maybe i just like shit that's well done

[dolphs-world]

Movies

Feeling a bit tired so I'm just going to write a bit about movies. I'll write some actual analysis on Television and internet trends that annoy me next week. Would also love to talk a little bit more about Shovel Knight. But for now, movies. Starship Troopers was so good that I remembered the protagonists name, Johnny Rico. Will have to rewatch Total Recall. Heat and Once Upon a Time in America were the best of those types of films and they were still only halfway decent. I really don't get why these movies and these types of movies are beloved. Walk Hard and The Producers are the funniest films I've seen in a while and both of their songs are beautiful. Not too long either. Didn't have much actual depth for those reviews but these next 3 I do. Saw the FNaF movie with friends. They really didn't like it. I'm starting to question their opinions when it comes to these movies. One of them also didn't like the Mario movie and it seemed to be because they expected too much out of it. I loved the Mario movie, it was surprisingly funny. But the FNaF movie. It was fine. It is going to be an incredibly dated movie but for some reason that didn't annoy me as much. I don't know why it was set in the year 2000 or why there was a court subplot or really what Vanny's motivations. She seemed really muddled. But it was cool seeing such noticeable practical effects. Honestly, I think the movie would have been better if it was even more family friendly. Get rid of the onscreen murders and that whole subplot anyways, it made Mike's fears of the robots more valid. To make him seem crazy they had to have him beat someone up. Should have just outright said that Matthew Lillard was William Afton, not try and play it up as a reveal. It was funny that they casted someone from Scooby Doo as even he could have figured out this mystery without Velma's help. But yeah, if you got rid of some of this stuff you could have cleaned up the characters a bit more, made Afton a threat. Play to the child audience you know you have. The only thing that annoyed me about the movie is the reaction. Low critic scores have caused fans to try and analyse every aspect as if this movie is high art. Or maybe they just genuinely believe that. I saw threads of people explaining how the babysitter didn't want to ruin Mike's life, which was obvious. They're acting like they're peeling back the layers to a deep movie. It's called understanding emotions. Brazil, Brazil, one of Doug Walker's favourite movies. I didn't like it. I liked the look. It's crazy how people act as if the dystopia is the real world as opposed to the scenes where he was a birdman and escaped with Jill. But yeah, actually made me appreciate 1984 more. At least I understand what he thinks he's fighting against in that movie, and the last third of that book is great. You actually get to see the torture! (I felt like Zach Snyder writing that line. I get the importance and messaging of the book. I get why the characters like each other, although talk at each other as opposed to to each other, and the importance of them meeting up again later in life). But Brazil. It just didn't work. It didn't really blend reality and dreams well to make the ending a twist. You know that it's in his head. It doesn't make sense that Jill likes him back. Ian Holm's character was kind of pointless. I don't know. I don't know how to explain. I've been thinking about this film on and off again and all I can say is read 1984 and A Brave New World instead. Although I don't like 1984, only the last third is good, the second is a slog, you understand it's importance. And A Brave New World is actually good. Brazil was not.

#dear diary

[kokoro-no-naka]

i need... to be loved.

i thought about it... about why i've been searching so desperately for romantic love all my life.

i guess it's because all my life, i was able to get almost everything a young kid could ever want...a loving family, caring friends... but never the other kind of love.

that kind of love has been elusive to me my whole life.

i hear stories of all of my friends getting confessed to at least once in their lives. ALL of them. not one exception.

they were desired by someone else, someone desired a relationship beyond friendship with them. there was someone out there who saw in them someone they find attractive. someone that either made the first move or made their feelings clear.

i never had that. it was rejection after rejection after rejection after rejection. a grand total of 11 times. then... there were those who accepted

they... were all just too nice to reject me haha

i can tell

i know how people truly interested in one another behave. i see it every fucking day in the way my friends who are in relationships talk about and talk to their significant others. when they talk about their partners, they have this... light in their eyes. they look like they're floating on cloud 9 at the mere mention of any aspect of their relationship. and when they talk to their significant other? god, the conversation lasts for hours. i can see it in their messages, the little things that my friend does for their partner, in the little habits and mannerisms they developed around each other, and simply in the way they are with each other. i can see, clear as day, that they truly love each other.

but... when it comes to all of the... honestly, i dont even know what to call it, that i've experienced

it's always me.

first move? me

who starts conversations? me

it feels like... i'm the only one in love in my supposed relationship.

but i guess that's also my punishment

i fall in love so fucking easily

i could literally make myself love anybody

i have standards, sure

i've just been desperate to feel loved, to feel wanted for so long

that i've stopped caring if i truly love them

it's a mistake i've made... 2 times now.

and i hate myself for it.

[syeko]

hello!! i saw ur tags on ur last art post and im sorry u arent feeling great about your creative work lately :( but i just want to tell u that i think your art is SO GOOD, like you are genuinely Art Goals for me and your art always makes me smile so much!! i adore how soft it is and how that comes through in every aspect of the art. your lineart feels light and clean while also maintaining a bit of a sketchy quality which i love! your pastel-y color palettes feel so gentle and also, like, smart? Like the colors work so well together and mesh in a really pleasing way. And the way you draw hair!! And faces!!!! SO SOFT! The expressions feel so genuine aaaaaa. im totally overusing the word “soft” lol but for real that’s the best way I can think to describe the overall vibe of your art. And it makes sense because you seem like such a kind and gentle and caring person so of course your art would be the softest thing ever. it feels like a warm hug or a cool breeze or a blanket fresh from the dryer. I love it sm. The clothing choices and posing and literally just EVERYTHING about your art is so good. im a less familiar with your writing but I have read a few of your fics and they were really cute! I totally get not feeling confident in what you make and going through creative rough patches but I hope you can believe me when I say that you are a genuinely WONDERFUL creator that a lot of people admire. Your work makes people feel things and it’s so special. Thanks for sharing your stuff even when you’re not feeling confident because it’s always a treat to me to see your posts <3

I hope you don't mind that I took a while to answer this 🥺 but I kept it in my inbox to come back and read every once in a while and honestly I can't tell you how much it meant to have such a lovely thoughtful comment to come back to. Thank you so so so much mar, you always leave the sweetest tags, and your enthusiasm and attention to detail is so appreciated- I almost cried reading this. I'll always come back to read your message whenever I need it. I hope you don't mind the sketchy quality of this, but I drew this for you as a small thank you 🍓💕✨

#asks #thank you so so much mar #i love you sm #im so sorry again for the low sketchy quality but my wrist is basically 2 seconds from falling off because of all the exams and school aksj #anyways #thank you #you're the sweetest #enjoy some marichat *slaps this down* on the house

[chronicillschronicpills]

Hello! I saw an old post of yours abt sex and chronic pain and I guess I wanted to see if you or anyone else would have any advice for me!

I'm unfortunately having a bad flare day- and I think a large amount of it is because my partner and I did stuff yesterday. My partner is very sweet and kind about my condition, and always asks me during if the things we're doing are okay. The thing is, I always want to try even if it hurts because I love doing it and I miss being able to do it without such awful pain.

I can't find a position that doesn't make me hurt a lot afterward. Him on top of me makes my legs and hips hurt (legs in air), me on top of him makes my hips and knees hurt, from behind makes my hips and knees hurt, and forget any of my weight being on my hands. My disability has taken over every aspect of my life and I'm so frustrated. I just want to enjoy myself for once.

If you or anyone else has some advice on positions or pain relief I would really appreciate it!!! Thank you so much 💜💜💜

SEX AND CHRONIC ILLNESS;

Hi, there love,

I swear I have a defective Tumblr and I never get any noti's from my inbox, so I'm sorry if you sent this months ago!

I'm gonna try to give my best advice and hope that my followers will also help with advice.

First of all, pretty much any physical activity can throw me into a flare so I can understand that sex can definitely have a real impact on flares. You are most definitely not alone. I can also empathise with the frustration of your disability taking a lot from you and your life. I am so happy you're partner is supportive too and I hope that you guys are great at communicating with each other about sex which is probably the MOST important thing in this. I am going to give my advice under the assumption that you guys have great, healthy communication.

Sex positions that could be worth a try, it seems as if any stretching of the hips and pressure on the knees and hands are out of the questions so here are not only some of my all-time favourites, but also should be friendly for these issues:

Lazy doggy (lying face down on your stomach with your legs together): that way you don't need any weight bearing on knees or hands, no stretching of the hips and you basically just lay face down, I like this position as it also takes little energy and it's quite easy for you or your partner to stimulate your clitoris at the same time. you can also try this position with a pillow or wedge under your hips for a different angle and extra support on your hips

Spooning sex: I find this a great position, you just lay on your side, your good side that day, and sometimes putting a pillow between your knees can help with that.

I personally don't fuck with this position but standing up sex facing a wall is also considered to be pretty easy on these joints.

This one is slightly harder to explain (its a modified missionary variant) but if you are laying on your back and you put your legs straight or bent vertically and lay them on your partner's chest (kind of like an L position with the legs up), and then he would be either standing or on his knees (so your partner would be the P and u the L; PL). This means your hips aren't stretched outward, your knees and hands don't have pressure on them, your partner does not have their body weight on you and your partner can hold onto your legs for extra support. You can add a pillow under your hips for extra support. I really hope this makes sense, and if someone knows if this has an actual name, please help!

You could also try a seated position and you could face away from him to keep the hip angle easier

other general tips;

Take MAD advantage of pillows and wedges; this could help with him on top of you if you bulk up on either side of your hips so you don't have to strain or stretch as much.

Rethink your idea of sex: some days there may be no position that is comfortable. Sex is whatever feels good for you. You don't need penetration to have sex. Have your partner go down on you or stimulate you with their hands. If you really like the penetrative feeling, buy some toys and your partner can use them on you in any position that's comfy for you. Buy lots of sex toys, to be honest, that can be super fun and accessible. You can get full pleasure and give full pleasure without vagina/penis penetration.

Something my therapist has taught me is to pace myself and practice patience with MYSELF! I can tell you probably push yourself because you always want to still try even if it hurts. For example, I don't exercise, but one day I decided to go to the trampoline park and do gymnastics (i used to do gymnastics) and then was fucked for a week. Another example, I tried to do gymnastics at home and broke my foot. Just keep throwing myself into the deep end and end up making it worse; 1 step forward, 12 steps back. So pace yourself, and practice patience, and don't be too hard on yourself. Treat yourself with kindness.

I know sex is often spontaneous, but honestly stretching and warming up could help, and maybe even during foreplay, you could get a massage to warm up and connect with your partner. Also if you know you're going to have sex, you could take some painkillers or weed (if you're into it) beforehand.

I really really really hope that a) everything made sense and b) that it would actually help! Please send me a message if you feel comfortable if this helped at all.

Please leave your most accessible sex positions in the comments or reblog with advice!

#chronic pain #chronic illness #sex and disability #chronic fatigue #lupus #sle