#every action god takes but i don't get the sense that god's just doing stuff for the aesthetic or for elegance's sake

[stromblessed]

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

#blue eye samurai #mizu #akemi #kinuyo #bes #women are birds okay they are BIRDS #the let me die line is so SCARY AND SAD like a part of Mizu wants death but she cant? she doesnt know how?? excuse you show??? #when all these other delicate birds are dying all around her #akemis character gets more and more gutwrenching upon subsequent rewatches because whenever she says her life is in danger #NO ONE BELIEVES HER - certainly not other women #because shes rich and pampered and that means shes safe and is worrying about nothing right? right????? #and it turns out that all of akemis instincts were right and she was in danger the ENTIRE TIME #also I need to make a post just for kinuyo because I am sad

[galene-gothic]

𝖧𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗈 𝖻𝖾𝖼𝗈𝗆𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝗌𝖾𝗅𝖿?

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

Let's look at what your best self looks like first, your best self is selectively honest. They don't tell others what they want next. They evaluate themself and are self critical to a certain extent. They are sort of self absorbed. They understand that ignorance is bliss and know how to ignore things or people when need be. They are especially really good at ignoring people that they can't have or people from the past. They are still quite fearless though. They understand that it's better to be attacked than ignored. They meditate often and know how to relax. They need and prioritise peace, and their actions align with that. They never bite more than they can chew, they know how to step away from situations that they cannot handle. They try to stay away from conflict and choose themself first no matter what. They know how to become the bigger person. They take care of themself, self reflect and know how to heal properly. They know how to not make rash decisions. They're wise and detached. They've surrendered, they know that if they cannot control it, there's no use worrying and if they can control it, it's better to do so rather than worry. They've released old beliefs and patterns. They have a faith that things will work out, be it faith in themself, faith in god, faith in life or faith in the universe. They're mindful, intentional and know how to let go. They know how to grow, they're also successful. They believe that the pain of discipline is better than the pain of regret. They're quite passive and know how to let life happen for them, they're still someone who takes necessary action though. So, how do you become them? You need a rest, not gonna lie.

Some of you might be drained out to the point where you cannot focus in school or on work. You need to address your self esteem issues. Supposing, you are really self conscious when it comes to performing, you always feel like your body won't look good if you put too much energy so you end up putting less energy in but when you do so, you feel disappointed at yourself for not doing well. In that case, you should try to improve your dance skills. You're someone who has an understanding that being pretty doesn't do enough for you, it's the same with being rich, and the way you are as a person and the way you present yourself are all very important to you. I think it's important for you to build certain skills to a point where you can be really proud, it'll significantly boost your self esteem which will in turn help you for the better. It requires consistency though, don't be lazy !! You need to release negative thoughts, feelings, habits and patterns. You might have gotten really comfortable with your pain, it's important to heal. Your deepest traumas are either already surfacing/resurfacing or will soon, that's when it'll be the easiest to change. You need to stop stressing like just know that "what happens, happens." You need to face life and have a total break down first. You should withdraw from stuff. You'll go through something very humbling, you'll be left feeling really put down. You'll not even have it in yourself to look strong anymore, you'll be exposing weakness because you'll just not have the strength to conceal it. You'll have to accept defeat first and things will get better soon. You'll have to have a lot of anger, pain, shame, guilt and regrets in order to completely change your life, all the best, it'll probably come in soon.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

Let's look at what your best self looks like, your best self has unlimited potential and sees it. Your best self has freedom in some sense, be it financial or something else. Your best self is someone who had to let go of who they were in order to become who they're meant to be. Your best self has a carefree attitude. I just heard 'be yourself'. When I say this, some of you might think that you're doing it already but if you think about it properly you'll notice that you tend to either act childlike even though you're very mature, dumb even though you're very smart, don't express your values as articulately as you think about them, etc. Some of you could be really good at written expression of your thoughts, ideas and feelings but when it comes to talking, you're not the best. Your best self is not scared of being unique. Your best self takes risks because they understand that most of the times not taking a risk is the biggest risk. Your best self has a thirst for life and is passionate. You might be really passionate as a person (most of you seem to have that side of you diminished though). Your best self has fun regardless of what others say. One quality that you already have is your ability to analyse yourself, you are not the type to avoid accountability and blaming external factors for every little thing. You have some sort of an inner guidance, your mindset gives you the capacity to be completely alone if necessary. I feel like a deep part of you desires or used to desire solitude, peace and spiritual enlightenment. Most of you have started your spiritual journey already, some of you haven't though. It doesn't have to be something too deep like 'light candles every full moon, meditate every morning, light sage and incenses often' but instead that you feel like everything that happened was for a reason or even if it feels like it wasn't.

You learn and make something out of it, you know how to live life and try to grow as a person, and have faith (be it in the universe or in yourself). You might be quite philosophical too. You have a lot of wisdom, people who are slightly older than you and see you for who you are might say things like "you're so mature for your age". Ofcourse, there are some things that you'll have to get rid of in order to become your best self, I feel like most of you have mostly/only had short term unstable relationship/s which have caused you to have a lot of baggage. You could have poor health (I heard a poor immune system, bad sleep schedule and poor gut health). You might also be financially dependent on someone else or just not be financially stable, it's causing you to not be able to gain certain skills or knowledge, etc. Even if you do not notice it, you have a tendency of getting stuck in your head often. You lack spontaneity and need mental stimulation/challenges/someone who seems to be equally as intelligent as you so you could have been stuck in toxic friendships/relationships with people who think that and act like they know everything. You're a very fair person, so being with people who don't share the same values or reasoning as you will be frustrating, I'd advise you to not interact with such people to the point of forming am emotional attachment. You'll have to find a source of motivation or something that just reignites the passion in you. Stop being lazy, simply just planning isn't going to get you anywhere. You need to find a new purpose basically. Focus on a purpose, money, drive and having fun. It's important to learn how to be true to yourself and not get easily influenced. You should go out and have some fun too. All the best, I'm rooting for you but you need to be rooting for yourself ten times harder.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

Your best self holds pure intentions towards others and has a good nature. Your best self is also very attractive and follows their heart. They're driven and have a great imagination. They romanticise life and are in love with love. They listen to their intuition and take action towards their goals with a hope in their heart. They have a creative hobby that they might have suppressed that they choose to enhance. They're charming and friendly with people. One thing that I'm getting is that they're someone who everyone has a crush on to a certain extent. They receive a lot of jealousy and envy from others. They don't let anger get the best of them. They think calmly and orderly. They accept different beliefs and paths. They could be someone who's tired though, like really tired physically (they could do a lot). They're accepting of other people's differences. They find solutions to issues instead of going around blaming others. They prioritise peace and don't lose sight of the path. You need to face yourself instead of quick fixing issues that lead to long term detriment. If you're having fights, etc. the moment you forgive them (whether it is at their face or by yourself, without letting them know, that's up to you) and resolve conflicts (including your inner conflicts), you'll start developing into your best self. You have convinced yourself that you have certain beliefs that don't align with you and you need to get rid of them. You're not seeing the brighter side of life and that's hindering you from becoming your best self too.

I feel like what's led to this mild-extreme pessimism is your over optimism in the past. A happy and exciting event seems to have turned wrong. It's going to take you a lot of work to become your best self. You'll have to take up a lot of responsibilities and be really loaded with things to do if you want to become your best self. You'll have to be serious about life and will be stressed quite often. I just heard 'too busy to even eat'. There are excessive requirements and conditions for you to become the best version of yourself. You'll have to put yourself through intense pressure. You'll have to take up a lot of responsibilities too though, try to improve your own character alongside working on building something for yourself. It'll be really easy to burn out though because of how much you'll be doing. You need to mean how to not commit easily to others. You need to challenge others instead of just letting them into your life. Your best self follows their heart but is not easy to get. You need to become hard to get and easy to lose. You need to learn how to make quick decisions and take quick actions. It's important for you to be on a dedicated mission to succeed. Discipline yourself and build confidence. Build so much confidence that when someone you love does you wrong, you know that you can just let go, and find better people and treatment. Become self assured. It's important for you to just go for the things that you want. If you try, you'll get there little by little, all the best.

#intuitive readings #pick a card #pick a deck #pac #pac reading #astro notes #pick a photo #astrology #astro observations #pick a gif #pick a picture #astrovations

[depravitycentral]

General Yandere! Jin Bubaigawara Profile

Yandere! Jin Bubaigawara x fem! reader

Tw: kidnapping, stalking, mentions of masturbation, mentions of non-con, mentions of murder, threats, slight emotional manipulation, Jin is a creep and goes through your stuff, breaking and entering, mentions of horrible men who don't respect women (not our lovely Jin), brief mention of strip clubs, mental breaks/Jin's Splits, fem reader, MDNI

I do not condone any of the actions described in this post - this is fiction and should be treated as such. If you or a loved one is in a similar situation to anything contained in this post or my blog in general, please seek help. You're in charge of your internet consumption; please make responsible choices. With that, enjoy!

WC: 11K

DARLING PROFILE:

Perceptive

More than anything, Jin looks for a darling that can understand him.

He so desperately craves a human connection full of trust and caring, and having a darling who is able to read him like a book would be absolutely perfect.

He needs someone who is able to tell at a glance what he’s thinking – not getting bogged down by the multitudes of personalities shining through at any given time and instead seeing what the real him is feeling.

He craves someone who can offer him a sense of normalcy, someone who can make him feel like less of a freak, like less of a fuck-up, more like a real man. He grows attached to a perceptive darling quickly, feeling at ease in a way that he normally doesn’t.

They’re just perfect – he feels like he can be himself, letting himself be truly authentic and truly Jin.

It’s a luxury he’s nearly never afforded, his darling creating a safe space for him without even realizing it – something he’s beyond grateful for, and something that keeps him running back to his darling at every turn because it feels so damn good to just let himself go and not hold himself back.

It’s wonderful, and as soon as his darling displays this quality, Jin is helplessly, hopelessly hooked.

Sweet

At his core, Jin is a good person who’s made many bad mistakes.

He’s not a bad person by nature – and as a result, Jin finds himself attracted to people who are similar to him. He wants someone who is genuinely a good person – someone who is nice, sweet, someone who’s heart is generally positive and full of happiness.

And Jin particularly likes when this trait is aimed at him – compliments melt his heart. As soon as the words slip off his darling’s lips, Jin’s gaping at them, his heart racing in his chest and his face feeling hot because when was the last time he was complimented?

 When was the last time someone praised him, the last time they smiled at him like that, the last time they seemed so genuinely happy to see him?

It doesn’t feel real when he first meets his darling, his interest immediately peaked because god, it really feels like they see him, like they understand him.

 It’s euphoric in many ways, leaving his skin prickling in excitement and his stomach fluttering in nerves and pride.

A sweet darling is ideal for him – because even as his obsession festers and his behavior becomes more and more extreme, a darling who remains kind to him will only fuel this infatuation, only pushing him to try harder to win them over, to become more and more desperate to have them as his, just as he begins daydreaming about.

It’s just perfect for him – and he’ll do his absolute best to return the favor, complimenting his beloved as often and as honestly as he can, even if the compliments are more disturbing than flattering.

Calm

Jin needs a darling that can handle his Splits. He needs someone who is not only patient with him, but is also able to take the things he throws at them in stride, not even blinking when Jin falls into a particularly nasty split that’s got him spouting nonsense and panicking.

They need to be able to be calm and help them, assessing the situation and knowing exactly how to talk him down from the episode, to keep him breathing steadily and hold him so that he stays oriented.

He needs a darling that can handle the way his mouth doesn’t seem connected to his brain – random words spilling from his lips that sometimes embarrass him.

When a personality reveals something embarrassing that Jin did as a way to get closet to you, his darling needs to be able to calmly respond, to assess the situation and hopefully come to the conclusion that it’s not true, that there’s absolutely no way that Jin would do something so crazy and strange.

And yet, a calmer darling will be absolutely shocked when they learn that all of the things Jin had divulged without meaning to are true – all of it, down to the stolen socks and stalking to the graphic dreams and preparations of his apartment to make it seem a little more like his darling’s – a little more like them.

A calmer darling is ideal for Jin because he’s simply too excitable and tightly strung to not have a calm darling.

Oblivious

A darling that doesn’t notice the multitude of red flags in his behavior would make Jin’s life much, much easier.

A darling that is oblivious or perhaps blinded by their positive assumptions about people would work in Jin’s favor, because it would allow him to push the boundaries just a bit, just as he does without meaning to, all without having to explain the slip-ups he makes, all without having you grow scared by the way he seems to become more and more present in your life.

He needs a darling who doesn’t realize just how deeply Jin has invaded their life – so they can’t run before he manages to ensnare them, so they can’t leave him and abandon him like he’s so afraid they will.

Plus, there’s something endearing about this trait that Jin just can’t shake.

It makes him feel like a protector, making it easier to convince himself that his darling needs him to be around in order to safely function, to not be taken advantage of by some creep with bad intentions.

It makes justifying his actions much, much easier, lessening the small sense of guilt that eats away at him, lessening the insecurity that pushes him to draw back every once in a while, convinced that he’ll never be good enough for his precious lovely darling.

An oblivious darling would allow him to operate with less secrecy and fear, something that Jin is grateful for. Plus, they’re just so damn cute – cute enough to eat.

GENERAL YANDERE TRAITS:

Clingy

Once Jin’s feelings for you take root, it’s over.

He’s so broken and lost, quite literally unsure of his place in the world, his purpose, himself. And so once you step into his life, with your pretty face and even prettier voice that says the nicest, most caring things to him, Jin’s reaction is nearly out of his control.

How can he not become absolutely, utterly enraptured with you when you’re so kind to him?

When you smile at him like that, all teeth and appled cheeks and this sparkle in your eye that he can tell isn’t forced, how can he not find himself swooning? How can he not be smitten with you when you look at him like he’s a person, like he’s worth something, like he has value and isn’t just a waste of space?

It’s euphoric, something that makes his pulse race and his cheeks tinge pink, and so of course he’s desperate to spend time with you, to be in your presence and soak up every ounce of you that he possibly can. In the beginning, when his feelings are freshly formed and still having some semblance of normalcy, Jin’s too shy to directly ask you to be with him.

He’ll struggle to look you in the eye, rubbing the back of his neck and letting his gaze flick to you every few seconds as he mumbles out a rushed, awkward, so um, I was uh, wondering if you’d like to see that new movie this weekend…

It’s hard to hear and you’ll ask him to repeat himself, only furthering his embarrassment and making him wince because obviously you’re going to say no – you’re too pretty and smart and sweet for him, why would you ever say yes to a washed-up criminal like him? But before he can even get the chance to respond, he’s blurting out a let me take ya to the theater, yeah? We can get seats in the back where it’s just the two of us.

He’s mortified, immediately clasping a hand over his mouth and his eyes going wide; he didn’t mean it like that! Well, okay, maybe he did, and maybe the idea of being a dim, warm place with comfortable velvet seats and sugary drinks with his body pressed right next to yours is incredibly enticing and enough to make him salivate and pant like some fucking dog –

Except you’ll still say yes, because at this point Jin’s infatuation – while still painfully obvious – seems like just a crush. He’s awkward and flustered around you, but that’s kind of endearing and sweet, isn’t it?

A fully grown man – and one who’s seen more horrors than you can imagine – is bashful over you?

It’ll have you looking past the way that he always seems to show up at the places you frequent, that same nervous and hopeful look on his face as he scans the crowd for your familiar figure.

It’ll have you looking past the way he puts his hand on your back and keeps it there for much, much too long, never moving downwards but always staying firm, as if he’s glued to you, as if separating himself from you is physically painful.

It’ll have you looking past the way he begs you to share just one more glass of cheap booze, telling you that it’s good for you, that it’ll help you relax and destress from that job of yours that you hate.

(Plus, you look so damn cute when you’re tipsy – all clumsy and giggly, your inhibitions lowered so that you don’t notice when his gaze lingers on you for just a beat too long, when his hand skims across your thigh, when he leans in much too close and inhales much too loudly.)

You’ll write off most of Jin’s clingy behaviors with a wave of your hand and an excuse that it’s simply how he processes his trauma. And it’s true, to some extent. Except you don’t know the full extent – you don’t know how he follows you home every night, trying his best to stay quiet as he lurks in the shadows, making sure no one approaches you on your commute back to the quaint little apartment he’d give absolutely anything to share with you.

You don’t know the way he borrows small items of yours, keeping them on his ragged nightstand next to the bare mattress he sleeps on, your hair clips and toothbrushes kept as pristine and safe as he possibly can.

(He’ll pick them up with trembling fingers, scared that even simply touching something of yours will break it, yet simultaneously thrilled that he has something of yours, something of an angel’s.)

You aren’t aware of the way he fantasizes about you constantly, imagining everything from linking your pinkies together to burying his face between your legs. (And in vivid, vivid detail, too – even going so far as to mimic your voice and sit on his own hand so that it'll go numb, just like some teenage boy.)

You’ll write it off, but Jin sees this as permission to push further, to try harder, to test the boundaries of your ‘friendship’ as far as he can without you growing suspicious. He’ll pull you into hugs with higher frequency and longer times, keeping you pressed against his body while he buries his face into your neck and tries not to moan at the smell of you.

He’ll spam your phone with text after text, conveying conflicting messages that showcase just how little control over himself and his split personalities where you’re concerned.

(You’ll have to turn off your ringer permanently with him around – he will drive you insane, the buzzing noise and the obnoxious little bring making you lose your mind. He texts you day and night, your peaceful sleep interrupted with the notification of fifty unread texts from him, ranging from single sentences to near paragraphs.)

He’s not exactly subtle, and while you’ll cling to your excuse of him just being lonely and struggling to cope with his past, eventually you’ll have to realize that Jin isn’t just using you to help him work through his previous experiences – no, he wants more.

He wants you. He needs you, to a degree where his every waking thought revolves around you, and most of his dreams do, too. He’s clingy and needy and always, always demanding your attention, and eventually you’ll find yourself nearly ripping your hair out because you just can’t seem to get a moment of privacy around the blond, his eyes always watching you and his fingers always itching to reach out and touch, to press against your skin, to make sure that you’re real and present and with him.

He just needs the reassurance that you won’t leave him, that you’ll stay with him, that you’ll always be with him – you keep him from splitting after all, and how could he ever thank you?

By being your personal watchdog and eagerly completing each and every request of yours, no matter how depraved or inhumane and dehumanizing. Anything for you.

Obsessive

Tying hand in hand with his clinginess, Jin finds himself drowning in a sea of you once his feelings form. He finds himself so overwhelmed with all the warring desires in his heart – he wants to see you, his fingers twitching and itching to set his eyes on you, to be in your presence and bask in you you you.

But he also wants to spend time laying on his dingy mattress, his eyes closed as he mentally lists all of the things he loves about you, all the things that leave him breathless and blushing and reaching out towards you with trembling hands.

He wants to speak with you, to maybe make you laugh and hear that wonderful laugh of yours all because of something he said, but he’s also too afraid to instigate conversations with you because he’s worried he’ll somehow fuck up and scare you off.

(And just the mere thought of that gets him in a cold sweat, hands gripping at his blond hair and his eyes squeezing shut, lips moving like lightning as he repeats the mantra that you want him you want him you want him… Splits caused by his doubt for your feelings for him are always the worst – they last longer, they leave a more harrowing impact, and – worst of all – he’s so distracted by his feelings that he loses all awareness of his surroundings. He’s no longer aware of the vase nearby, knocking into it and sending the thing shattering against the floor, the sound and the feeling of glass shards pricking at his feet not even pulling him out of his stupor.)

He’s a mess in every meaningful way, and yet the only thing he can regularly, consistently bring himself to do is amass more and more information about you. You’re his own personal drug; one that calms him slightly, that makes him feel more whole – thinking of you is the only thing that can keep him focused, and this manifests itself in many ways.

Mainly, Jin takes to stalking you very, very early on. He’s simply too intrigued and attached to not follow you home, unwilling to let you out of his sight for even a few seconds. He’s worried for your safety, sure, because he’s sure that a sweet, lovely thing like you could never defend yourself should a villain confront you, but that’s not why he’s trailing you in the shadows like some loser, like some freak.

No – the real reason is much more depraved, sadder and more pathetic than Jin himself would like to admit. It’s really because with every moment he watches you, he learns more and more about you.

Each night that he trails you home from work, he’s learning enough things to fuel his dreams that night – you avoid sidewalks with people when it’s late at night, preferring instead to cross the street so that you won’t pass them.

(Not that he’d let anything happen to you – he’d kill whoever laid a finger on you. He’d start by punching them, getting them to the ground and sinking his fist against their cheek and jaw again and again and again, then wrap his fingers around their neck and squeeze, feeling the way they’d wheeze and choke and desperately grapple at this fingers, begging him to save their worthless life. Begging with that same voice that they could’ve been calling out lewd and inappropriate things to you in, touching him with those hands that he’s sure they would’ve used to touch you, to taint and mar your pretty skin and leave you scared and trembling and shaking and needing someone like Jin to come and rescue you –

The man would be dead before Jin knows it, his lip caught between his teeth because although killing someone doesn’t necessarily feel good, there’s something pleasant swimming in his gut because now this person will never, ever get near you again.)

He learns that you always stop to look at pretty window displays, the glittering Christmas lights and decorations making you twinkle in turn, the colors shining against your skin and clothes in a way that makes Jin swear you’re an angel, as if you’re a personal piece of heaven just for him, no matter how undeserving he may be.

He learns that you keep your spare apartment key under your welcome mat, always fishing it out before you slip into your apartment. Your apartment, which he’s visiting numerous times – enough times that if he had to, he could navigate with his eyes closed. He’s poured through every square inch of your home – digging through drawers and marveling at each little trinket he can find, no matter how mundane.

He rifled through your kitchen drawer last month, noticing with baited breath that you have a variety of spices in your cupboard – you must like your food well-seasoned. He’s not a very good cook, but for you, he could be – and all too soon images of you leaning close to him, your lashes fluttering and your eyes sultry as you eat the bit of food off his outstretched fork, making a show of swallowing and telling him that his cooking is so good Jin, you’re so wonderful for me…

He’d also found a pair of scissors, something that’d made his brows furrow in worry because although he trusts that you’re responsible, it still makes him nervous for you to have something like this laying around your house – something that could easily cut you, something that has the potential to hurt you.

He’s gone through each and every piece of silverware you own, looking at each fork and knife and gulping, his cheeks red as he thinks of the way you’ve used these pieces of metal – your lips and tongue have pressed against the material, your saliva coating the fork’s prongs, the slurping and sucking noises you make as you eat the soup off of your spoon.

He’ll gulp, looking around your empty apartment, then quickly shove the fork into his mouth, his eyes practically rolling to the back of his head because although you’ve washed it, he swears the fork tastes like you – and isn’t this almost a form of an indirect kiss? Aren’t his lips touching something yours has, his tongue rubbing and caressing the prongs just as yours might have?

(The thought leaves his knees weak, his pants unbearably tight, the fork clutched tightly in his fist as he wills himself to stay strong, to keep going and not crumple to a ball in the middle of your kitchen and fuck his fist like he so desperately needs to.)

He’ll sit on your couch, his breath uneven as soon as the soft cushions rest below him, his muscles tense and tight because he’s seen you sit here, watched as you laughed and roared at some television show, your pretty body molding to the couch’s cushions, your pajamas looking so cute and adorable and sexy on you.

His hands idly run over the couch fabric, his Adam’s Apple bobbing because oh, you’ve touched this before, haven’t you? He’ll meander into your bathroom, fingering your towels and letting his tongue slip over his lips, internally debating if it’s really such a good idea, if it’s crossing a boundary, if it really wouldn’t hurt…

And soon he’s stepping into your shower, the hot water (set to the temperature he knows you like) cascading down his nude body. He’ll open each of your shower products and eagerly smell them, something like a strangled groan slipping past his lips with each smell. He’s using your hair care products, lathering himself in your body wash, using your loofah and even using your razor, just because he wants the full experience of you, to be as close to you as possible given your current absence in the apartment.

And of course he’ll be using the towel once he’s finished – your towel, the one that still smells like you and has a strand or two of your hair sitting so perfectly and neatly on it.

(Jin picks up the hairs in awe, swallowing and bringing the hair up, his tongue brushing against the strand, his teeth clenching down as he chews at it.)

He wants to touch your toothbrush (so badly that it nearly hurts), but he stops himself, deciding that he should save that honor for when you’re sharing a toothbrush, when you’re with him every morning and night.

And of course, he’s tiptoeing into your bedroom, his eyes going wide and his nostrils flaring because oh god, it smells exactly like you and he thinks he might faint because it feels like you’re really here with him, like you’re by his side and hugging him and he’s surrounded by you you you.

He’s mostly respectful – or at least, as much as a man breaking-and-entering into your apartment can be, avoiding your underwear drawers despite the voice in his head urging him to snatch a pair of panties.

(The sexy ones, you know ‘em – the lacy black ones, the ones you were thinkin’ of last night when you jerked off so many times you were shootin’ blanks.)

He’ll open your closet, whistling at the sight of all your clothes. He’ll try on as many things as he can, hoping that things will fit him, always careful to hang them back up exactly as he found them, though a small part of him hopes that you can smell him on the clothing, that you’ll be reminded of him and be comforted. He’ll sit on your bed, breath hitched as he feels the way the mattress sags under his weight, before laying down slowly.

He’d showered that morning and was suddenly thankful for it – he wouldn’t want to sully your comforter with any dirt or grime. He’ll even dare to get under the covers for a moment, letting his eyes flutter closed as he imagines laying with you, spooning you with sunlight streaming in through the window, feeling your body (nude, of course, because he sleeps nude and all couples should sleep without clothing, yes?) against his and relishing in the smell of your hair and the nape of your neck.

All the while, Jin is noticing and mentally cataloguing every little detail he can process while in your apartment – the color scheme, what photographs you have up, what decorates your walls, whether there’s dirty clothes on your floors or bed or if you’re perfectly clean. Because really, everything is important – every little scrap of knowledge he can glean about you feeds the insatiable desire he harbors for you, this uncontrollable urge to be with you at all moments of the day.

This satisfies him, for now – it’s enough for the time being to be living as your shadow, but soon he’ll want to be by your side, hearing you say his name and feeling your soft hands touching him.

And he’ll do absolutely anything you tell him – all with an eager nod and a franticness to his actions that would leave him wildly embarrassed if it was anyone other than you.

Anyone other than the woman he’s hopelessly infatuated with – the one he'd get on his knees and literally beg for, even just for a simple glance his way.

Gentle

As a general rule, Jin absolutely does not want to hurt you.

Despite his status as a villain, he’s caring and soft to almost a debilitating degree, the notion of violence often necessary but not something he actively pursues. And so, of the small list of people in this world that he cares about, he would never purposefully harm any of them – and because you sit smack at the top of that list, this sentiment is only more extreme.

He thinks of you as perfection, idolizing you in every possible way, and so to even entertain the idea of leaving any sort of physical or emotional damage to you makes Jin physically ill, a Split oncoming as his stomach heaves, his head feeling dizzy and light as panic engulfs him. He absolutely does not want to harm you or upset you in any way, and this ultimately results in Jin being a yandere who is neither harsh nor patronizing, but rather simply gentle.

He treats you like an absolute queen; though he’s in a financial position that makes legally procuring gifts for you a little trickly, Jin goes out of his way to try and provide you with everything and anything he can to make you happy.

Before kidnapping you, this looks like buying you small, simple little token gifts – a small, modest bouquet of flowers (bouquet being a stretch – more often than not it’s just a single flower that he himself plucked from the ground, keeping the flower safe and preserved on his journey to find you – searching your most frequently visited locations, of course, and tapping into the tracker he'd managed to get Skeptic to install into your confiscated phone).

It looks like him offering to treat you to dinners and lunches, always at places that are within his price range (because stealing food in front of you would be a tacky move and although he can’t keep the façade of his occupation away from you forever, he’d like you to think of him as a dignified man), with greasy tables and even greasier meals, dingy lighting and seats with duct tape holding the leather booths together.

It’s not much, but it’s all Jin can offer you – and he does so with the most heart-melting, hopeful smile, his eyes soft and this look of utter vulnerability scrawled across his face that’ll have you giving in almost immediately, agreeing to getting lunch with him despite the way that his blatant staring bothers you.

(As does the way he leans in and inhales deeply when your back is turned. You can hear the breathing, the strange gulping sound that follows, and although it makes the bad kind of shivers race up your spine, you don’t bring it up with him.)

And once he’s stolen you away, that façade of being a dignified man is up – he’s still spoiling you, even more so than before your forced captivity with him, but now he doesn’t feel that he has to pay to spoil you. Now, he can steal your favorite things – because really, anything is worth seeing your smile light up your whole face when he brings home that expensive pastry he knows you love.

(The sweet is perfectly preserved, not a single wrinkle in the pretty, ornate parchment paper it’s wrapped in, nor is any portion of the sweet itself squished. He’d paid extra care to keep everything perfectly in-tact – perfect for you, because anything less than that would be an insult to his love for you.)

He’s bringing home all sorts of movies for the two of you to watch together, his hand slowly inching to your thigh as you sit side by side on his shitty old couch, the television on but all his attention focused on trying to be subtle about showing you just how badly he needs to touch you. He’s trying his best to get your favorite foods every night, getting you a few new clothes (and some of his own – he’s got a few sweatshirts that he will be forcing you into wearing, the sight of you in his clothing making his face scarlet and his face buried in his hands, his lip caught between his teeth as he tries and fails to compose himself because god, you look so good and it looks so fucking right to see you in something of his.)

Really, while Jin knows that he can’t buy your love and acceptance of his feelings, he’s desperate for any sort of help to get you moving that way. Any aid he can enlist in helping spark and develop any sort of reciprocation of his obsession with you is eagerly used, hope springing up inside his chest that maybe, just maybe, if he can make you happy enough you’ll forget that he’s a criminal, that he’s kidnapped you, that you’ve found out about all the stalking and stealing used socks and living in your apartment while you weren’t home.

He’s hopeful that all his hard work will pay off – you’ll see him as a man who really, truly loves you, even if he doesn’t deserve you.

God, he’ll never deserve someone like you – but he’ll never stop wanting you, either.

DEALING WITH RIVALS:

In general, Jin’s jealousy stems less from a place of selfish possessiveness and more from a place of insecurity and genuine worry for your safety.

Jin is more than aware that he’s not your ideal man – he’s a criminal with deaths to his name, renting a shitty apartment he can barely afford, riddled with mental health issues stemming from his quirk, and perpetually smelling like cigarettes. He’s very aware that if you were left to your own devices, you’d never pick him – and he can’t blame you, honestly. He’s a loser, a grown man with so many voices inside his head that he can’t keep track of them, and if he were a woman as pretty, sweet, and smart as you, he’d choose someone more successful, wealthier, more stable, just better.

And so, when he sees another man interact with you, his initial thought is that this is it – you’ll like this man more than you like Jin.

Maybe he’s funnier and wittier, or maybe he’s charming and suave with his words, two things that Jin himself certainly isn’t. Maybe he’s more attractive – without a nasty scar down the center of his forehead, or maybe you prefer brunettes like him, or maybe he’s taller.

Regardless, insecurity immediately eats away at Jin, forcing him to notice all of the things that man does better than him, all of the things that could pull your attention and feelings – whatever those may be – away from Jin and instead towards this stranger.

And while he initially feels that this is true, that this is the natural course of things and it’s how it should be, the longer he watches the interaction, the less satisfied with that he becomes. He grows restless, his fingers twitching at his sides, his muscles tensing and flexing and urging him to do something, whether that’s interrupting the two of you or causing a large enough distraction to end whatever conversation you’re having. It’s nearly unbearable, an internal war raging the longer he watches on, his lips moving and all sorts of different arguments and urges slipping off his tongue.

Go interrupt them!

No, it would be wrong of me to insert myself into a conversation that I’m not a part of.

Fuck that, he wants to steal her! He wants to make her his own!

You don’t know that, you can’t claim something that extreme without any foundation to base it on!

You can see his face, you can tell he wants to fuck her – look at that, he’s practically undressing her with his eyes!

It goes back and forth, seeming to never end, until eventually Jin forces himself to turn around and walk away, the part of him that’s insecure finally winning out the longer he notices things that are simply better about this stranger. It’s torturous and makes him bit his lip so hard it draws blood, his steps labored and heavy, but it’s the right thing to do.

And if you respond to his texts later that night, Jin will know that you haven’t completely forgotten him – perhaps you’ve forgotten this stranger, though, because you’re choosing to respond to Jin’s texts, not his. And this idea makes a wobbly smile spread across Jin’s face, his thumbs typing away at his cracked phone, deleting and retyping over and over again as he tries to think of ways to keep the conversation going, wanting so very badly to keep talking to you and keep your attention on him.

However, although Jin is fairly complacent and non-confrontational when it comes to most of your interactions with other men, there are a few circumstances where he’s not nearly as controlled – that is, when Jin can tell that the man has bad intentions.

It’s one thing to see you talk with a man that clearly finds you attractive, but it’s an entirely different story when Jin can see the gun or knife glinting in the man’s pocket, or when he recognizes the man’s face as a petty criminal known for pickpocketing defenseless women. It’s in these circumstances where Jin’s face will harden up, his lips a thin, straight line as he approaches the both of you, butting his way in with an excited greeting aimed at you, his eyes cold as he stares the man down.

And frankly, most petty villains will recognize him – sure, he isn’t the most famous villain, but he’s still a member of the League, and the perpetrator will often make some excuse and scurry away, not wanting to stir up any trouble with the League over some stupid woman.

And though Jin won’t want to explain why the man fled so quickly, he’s absolutely smug that his mere presence was enough to deter the man from bothering you anymore. He’ll look at you with excited eyes, his cheeks lightly flushed, hoping and praying that you’ll compliment him, that you’ll praise him and thank him because really, you wanted the man to go away but you were too scared to do it yourself.

And maybe, just maybe, if he’s really lucky, you’ll even give him a peck on the cheek as a thanks, the feeling of your lips against his skin making his heart race, this strange half-whimper slipping from his throat because you’re so close that he can smell you, and it’s fresh and real this time – not just the residual scent of your pillow your towel.

It’s wishful thinking, but Jin likes being your guardian angel – he’s anything but an angel, really, but it makes him feel important, needed, good. Like he’s actually giving you something, instead of just taking and taking and taking.

This is wrong, and Jin knows it. He shouldn’t be here – the cute little café is a public space, sure, but there was absolutely no chance that he would’ve found himself here if he hadn’t been trailing you for the last thirty minutes.

And he’d enjoyed it – watching you walk, seeing how your hair flittered a little in the breeze, the sway of your hips (something he tried hard not to look at but still found his gaze wandering down to every few minutes, his cheeks growing pink and palm coming up to smack at his cheek).

But the moment you’d entered the café, Jin following a few steps behind, he knows something is wrong. Instead of sitting at your own table, you make a beeline to the larger wooden one by the window – the one where a man is already sitting. Jin sits at his own table, some twenty feet away, bringing a flimsy newspaper up to cover his face.

The man greets you with a smile, introducing himself, complimenting your outfit and even pushing your fucking chair in, and suddenly it becomes very apparent what’s happening.

You’re on a date. A fucking date. Jin feels his face slip, a deep frown etching its way onto his lips. It’s torture to listen to you; your voice is a little higher than usual, he notes, and something sharp wedges its way between his ribs.

You never speak to him with that kind of voice – does that mean you aren’t interested in him? Does that means you don’t like him? Don’t say stupid crap like that! Are you stupid? It’s probably true! He winces, knocking at his head with his hand as a feeble attempt to get the warring thoughts to stop.

The date goes well, as far as Jin can tell – conversation flows easily, and with every passing moment he finds himself growing more and more restless, the hopelessness beginning to take its toll. He wants to interrupt – badly, really, with every fiber of his being. But that wouldn’t be fair to you – you obviously seem to like this man, perhaps even more than you like Jin, as loathe as he is to say it, and what right does he have to take that happiness away from you?

It hurts him, yes, but if it means staying in your life and seeing you happy, even if it’s with another man, he’ll grit his teeth and not play dirty. Your happiness is top priority, after all – and as you leave the café, you and the man going your separate ways, Jin can only hope that you will not be receiving any calls or texts from the man, even as you happily give him your number. He’s still gripping his hands into tight fists, even as he begins trailing the man.

This sight is significantly less pleasant than when he follows you – he doesn’t mind looking at you, not when you’re all pretty and sweet and you seem so very innocent. But this man? Well, as he approaches a bar a few blocks away, Jin’s brow cocks up. A mid-afternoon drink seems a little strange, and as Jin steps inside the bar after the man, a small burst of pride blooms in his chest.

Because really, this is not just a bar – there’s a stage, at the far back of the establishment, with all sorts of different colored lights beaming down on the main act: a scantily clad woman leaning back on a pole, winking at a man sitting in the front row. Jin’s taken aback – surely this can’t be a good sign, right?

You didn’t need to be seeing any men who frequent strip clubs – and with the way the man immediately went up to the bar, ordering a shot and acting friendly with the bartender, Jin’s sure this isn’t the first time he’s visited.

With a smile, Jin decides that this is finally something that Jin is better at – he’s many things, sure, but he only has eyes for you and he’d never seek out the visual comforts of another woman.

And as Jin approaches the bar, ears perked up, anger brews in his gut. Yeah man, just wrapped up a date – girl’s awful, talking about her family and shit, who the hell wants to hear that? She’d look better if she just shut the fuck up.

Jin’s jaw is on the floor, rage swimming in his veins. How dare this man speak about you that way – as if you’re just some random woman, as if everything you say isn’t gospel, something worthy of being revered and paid the utmost attention to. How dare this man dismiss you like that – after you’d been so happy, after you’d thought the date had gone so well, after he’d asked for your number, for God’s sake.

And with that, Jin sinks into his jacket, closing his eyes and trying to subdue the urge to walk over and sock the guy across the face so hard that he spits out a few teeth. No, that wouldn’t accomplish anything except a few moments of satisfaction – no, Jin has to take more drastic measures, something that will ensure that you and your fragile little heart won’t be hurt by this horrible, disgusting man.

And so, as Jin slips away, it’s not so hard to send you a fake text from the man, asking if he can swing by your apartment.

And you, being flustered that your date had contacted you to fast and so eagerly of course say yes, inviting him over for dinner. Jin smiles down at the phone with a big, bashful beam, able to pretend for just a few moments that he was supposed to be the recipient of that text, that really it was him you were inviting over for a homecooked meal, then maybe a movie, then maybe you’d stay up and talk with him for hours, falling asleep in his arms and letting him hold you like he spend hours dreaming of.

(Or, if you’re feeling a bit frisky, perhaps you’d let him spread your legs and spend hours with his head trapped between them, your taste and smell clouding his senses as he brings you to your high over and over and over…)

It’s not hard to make a copy of the man, to get him at your apartment door, that same suave walk and the high cheekbones making you bashful as you open your apartment door. But then, the man sneers at you, looking you up and down just as Jin had instructed, scoffing under his breath and telling you that you’re even uglier the second time I see you. I just came by to tell you that I don’t wanna see you anymore – you’re not my type, you know? I like ‘em a little more interesting. But if you wanna fuck, I’d be more than happy to –

You slam the door in his face, chest heaving and tears pricking at your eyes, and although it nearly braks Jin’s heart, he closes his eyes and breaths deep, reminding himself that although hurting you is making every bone in his body feel brittle and about ready to snap, this is necessary.

It’s necessary because the man probably would’ve done worse if left to his own devices – if his conversation with the bar tender was any indication, you would’ve been used for your body and then unceremoniously dumped in the trash. And you deserve so, so much more than that – Jin is sure of it, and Jin can give you that if you’d just let him.

He gives you some time, sure that you’re sobbing behind the front door, and it’s only an hour or so later that he texts you (from his real number, of course) if you’d like to grab dinner. He’s equal parts nervous and ecstatic when you respond with a simple yes, already eager to get you distracted from that loser – and, perhaps, even manage to show you how much better Jin can treat you.

He's charming that night, on his best behavior, telling you all sorts of jokes and asking about things he knows you love to ramble on about, just wanting to hear your voice and watch your lips move. And soon, the guilt is totally washed away – because really, would you have ever been able to speak this freely with that man? Absolutely not. Jin may not deserve you, but at least he can treat you well – so why can’t you see that?

TAKING HIS DARLING AWAY:

Jin doesn’t want to kidnap you, but he will eventually reach a point where his anxiety, paranoia and profession leave him with no other choice. He’s fully aware that his obsession with you has grown to such astronomical proportions that it’s literally controlling his life, but he doesn’t seriously entertain the notion that you’re just as deeply in love and devoted to him as he is you.

(Obviously he likes to think that you are – pleasant daydreams star you with your lips pressed against his jaw as you tell him just how much he means to you, just how badly you want him, just how much you need him, but he’s always brought back to reality with a cruel slap, Dabi barking his name or an alarm clock going off and leaving him feel empty, alone, restless for you.)

He knows that he possesses a one-sided love for you, and in the beginning of his obsession, that was enough. It was enough to simply be seen by you – to have your attention on him if only for a few seconds, your smile and warm and inviting and genuine as you spoke to him. It was enough that he was a silent admirer, watching you from the shadows of your life and eagerly anticipating your next encounter, no matter how large or small.

It was enough, until suddenly it wasn’t. Suddenly Jin needed to have more contact with you – getting your phone number had been one of the most nerve-wracking things he’d ever done, his fear of rejection so incredibly high that it made his voice a bit scratchy and he’d almost stuttered, leaving him mortified but only more enamored with you when you just laughed and gladly filled out your contact information into his phone.

And that had been enough for a time, too – he could text you, sending you photos of the sunset that he spent five minutes trying to find the perfect camera settings and angles for, just so that he could send as good of a photo to you as possible and have you be impressed.

(He’d been hoping you’d even compliment him as a response, perhaps telling him that it’s so beautiful, Jin! You’re so talented at photography! Or, in an even more idealized world, you’d tell him how beautiful the stars are and then immediately follow that up with an offer to go star gazing, to spend the evening together curled up in some remote field staring up at the sky and using each other as body heat to stay warm in the cold night air.)

But then the texting and calling wasn’t enough – soon he needed more, and that’s when the stalking began. He’d follow you to work, then immediately return to your apartment and snoop around, touching everything and picking everything up just so that there was at least some memory of him on everything you own.

And this had to be enough – this was the furthest Jin could get away with without you noticing, without you cutting him out of your life completely once you realized just how truly deranged for you he was. 

But then somehow a hero finds out about you, and suddenly your position in his life is threatened, and Jin panics. He totally, utterly panics, a Split intense enough to bring tears to his eyes forcing him to rely on the one person he trusts more than any other soul on the planet: you.

He comes to you, babbling and going on about some sort of internal debate that you can’t follow, and as you try to calm him down, your words start slowly sinking into Jin’s psyche. You keep saying that you’re there, that you’ll always be there for you, I promise.

You’re pulling him into your side, a cloth bag placed over hie head while you rub at his arms and back, shushing him gently and even rocking him back and forth every so slightly. And so, as the Split slowly fades and he calms down, two things happen – one, you sigh in relief and hope that Jin has processed some of his emotions and will leave, and two, Jin hearing your words as a promise that you want him, that you need him, that you want to stay by his side for the rest of your life.

And so, in the aftermath of a horrible mental health episode, Jin decides that you’ve essentially given him permission to make sure you really are always going to be there for him, just like you said.

It’s not hard to sneak into your apartment that night, the chloroform soaked rag sitting underneath your nose in a way that made it difficult not to swoon over your adorable sleeping figure.

(Jin gulps and swallows as he stares at your limp body, his hand reaching out to very, very lightly brush his fingertips over the expanse of your clothed hip, wide eyes staring at you as if you’re some piece of art, something for him to keep and cherish and love.)

And when you wake up the morning, you’ll find yourself in a strange bedroom with a strange man who’ll spoil you rotten – even if you beg him not to, even if you say the only gift you want is to be let free.

As a captor, Jin isn’t too terrible – all those desires to spoil you and make you happy are still very much present within him even once he’s stolen you away.

In fact, if anything he’s even more desperate to get you smiling, to see you be happy and looking at him with anything other than fear and hate. Because really, after that Split that led to him kidnapping you calms down, Jin is only left with complete and utter regret – you’ll hate him now, he’s sure of it.

You’ll be afraid of him, thinking of him not as the sweet, funny, and harmless Jin you’ve come to know but instead a monster, a criminal capable of hurting you in more ways than one. And this kills him – he hates being looked at like he’s ruined your life, even if he basically has. And because of this, he decides that the only way to get you to slowly see him in a positive light again is if he makes your life with him as good as possible – if he spoils you, treats you like a queen, pampers you and cares for you with the level of devotion that you deserve.

And frankly, Jin is more than happy to give you this – he’s a worshipper through and through, already revering you like you’re something holy and in need of constant praise. He’ll outfit his dingy apartment the best that he can – there’s freshly stolen furniture in your favorite colors and fabrics, changed lightbulbs for his overhead lights work, a stocked refrigerator, a new mattress.

(Only one though, so you’ll still have to share with him – but don’t be too worried, because he won’t actively try anything without your explicit permission. At least, he won’t while he’s awake – when he’s asleep is an entirely different story, because that’s when his real desires come out, unchecked and uncontrolled as he grinds his hips against your ass, his little moans and whispers of your name as he presumably has a wet dream about you more than a little awkward to lie next to. Don’t mention it to him though, please – he can tell that his cum is staining his boxers, but he’s always hopeful that you slept through it all, that you didn’t notice the way he was probably trying to get stimulation, that you didn’t see just how depraved and desperate for intimacy he is.)

He’s getting you comfortable clothing; lots of sweatshirts and lounging pants, fuzzy socks and even a few hats for when the heating in the building goes out (as it often does).

(He really likes to see you in his clothing, of course, but Jin isn’t too terribly pushy – he’d be ecstatic if you willingly wore something of his, his face bright red and all sorts of things coming out of his mouth, but he’s really and truly pleased, a satisfied and smug feeling burrowing in his chest that’s difficult to hide. Sometimes he’ll even wear the new clothing first, making sure that it smells like him, before handing it off for you to hear, biting his lip and struggling to stay calm because god, you look so damn good in what he’d just worn, god you’re really here with him right now and looking at him and touching him and acknowledging him.)

He’ll stock up on all your favorite foods, paying special attention to making sure he has every snack under the sun. And while he does care about your health, when he’s buying you all these snacks, he’ll get absolutely anything you want, even if there’s so much sugar and such little nutritional value that it makes him nervous.

He can’t cook very well, but he’ll order takeout or swing by a restaurant and steal something for dinner, always loving the look of hunger and shy thankfulness as you bite into the meal he’s brought you, trying hard to ignore the way he’s blatantly staring at you and awaiting your approval.

And really, that’s another part of your captivity with him – the staring, the touching, the constant talking, the constant him. He’s always been clingy with you, but it’s even more so once he's got you trapped under his thumb. He always has to be looking at you, observing you and feeling like he’s a part of whatever you’re doing. He wants to see everything you’re up to – when you’re watching television, he’s watching you.

(And nervously playing with his fingers, like there’s something he wants to ask you but is afraid to, right up until he blurts it out, something crude and rude and it immediately makes him apologize, gripping at his hair a bit and telling you about how he didn’t mean it, oh man I promise I didn’t mean it!)

When you’re doing one of the puzzles he’d stolen to help keep you entertained while he was busy, he’s sitting on the other side of the table, those eyes of his glued onto your fingers as you try each piece, watching with rapt attention and marveling at how you slowly make progress, feeling smug and prideful because his girl is so smart.

When you’re stepping into the shower, you can see him out of the corner of your eye, not peeking at you but simply staring at the open doorway of the bathroom, his back facing the shower but his presence still suffocating you.

(He refuses to leave alone during showers, simply because he’s terrified that you’ll slip and fall, that you’ll crack your head open or accidentally swallow shampoo or any number of other wild, outlandish things. And, as he listens to the sound of running water, he’s hoping that one day he’ll get to join you – that one day you’ll be able to bathe together. He’ll run his fingers over your roots, massaging the shampoo into your hair slowly and deeply, your body pressed close to his as the water cascades down your back. He’ll have you lather up his body with that scented body wash you love, and maybe you’ll even draw shapes with the bubbles, press kisses to his naked chest or press yourself against him, whispering in your ear that you love him...)

Truly, Jin is not so bad – he's clingy and you’ll have absolutely no time to yourself, but he’s not too invasive. He doesn’t treat you like an incompetent child, and he at least tries to make you happy – he won’t push you into a physical relationship, not does he demean you in any purposeful way.

The only true negative with Jin (aside from your kidnapping in the first place, not to mention the stalking and hyper fixation) is that although he tries his best to control it, Splits are not pretty, and you’re always the one he comes to her help. When you’re around they happen significantly less often, his comfort level higher and his concentration wavering from his own identity crisis and instead towards you, just as his thoughts often do, but they still happen.

And when they do, he’s blindly searching for you, reaching out bleary, teary eyes and all sorts of babbles and rambles coming from his mouth, every muscle in his body tensing up as he clutches onto you, begging for you to help him, to please, please make me whole again, ‘m not sure what’s – what’s real.

And while you may hate Jin for kidnapping you, for occasionally breaking into your apartment while you’re asleep and watching you rest, for threatening others in your name, for keeping you safe and sound, you still can’t watch this. Somewhere buried inside the monster that stole you away is the Jin that you were friends with – and that’s the Jin you want to help, the one that’s driving you as you shove the paper bag down over his head, letting him engulf you in a nearly too-tight hug as he sobs and his shoulders shake.

It takes him a while to calm down, but as his grip grows tighter and he starts murmuring your name under his breath like a chant, he’ll slowly pull away, swallowing heavily and telling you that he loves you, that he needs you, that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. And perhaps it’s Stockholm Syndrome, or perhaps you’ve simply gone crazy, but as time passes something about that sentiment will start becoming romantic to you, something that makes your heart race and gets your palms sweaty.

Because really, eventually you will end up playing out Jin’s fantasies – where the two of you are deeply in love, living together, sleeping together, bathing together, eating together, doing every possible thing in one another’s company because he simply can’t stomach the idea of being aware from you for any small amount of time.

It’s bliss, everything he’s ever dreamed of – and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to get there, even if it means acting like your slave just to see you smile at him once a while and give him any scrap of positive affection you can muster.

Anything at all.

PUNISHMENTS:

As a general rule, Jin worships you. He finds you to be absolute perfection – you’re beautiful and caring and patient, everything wonderful and nearly too perfect to even be real. You’re certainly too perfect for a fuck-up like him – and yet he wants you, in such a primal and raw way that he can’t hope to fight it.

You’re like air to him, and because he’s grown so attached to your praise and presence in order for his mental health to stabilize for a few moments, Jin can’t stomach the thought of punishing you.

You’re supposed to be happy with him – you’re supposed to be growing to love him, something that he works hard at every day that he has you trapped with him. He gets you flowers (they’re a little wilted and old, but they’re the best he can find), little chocolates (never quite in the flavors and styles you like, but as close as he can get), and tries to keep you happy and placated by having all your favorite things in the apartment.

And so, even more than being upset that you attempted to escape or hurt yourself, Jin can’t really fathom why you’d even bother doing something worthy of a punishment in the first place – are his efforts not enough? Is it not enough for him to run himself ragged trying to think of ways to keep you happy, to show you that despite having kidnapped you, he’s not an entirely bad person?

It’s demoralizing and sends him spiraling into a state of panic and confusion, leading to particularly bad Splits that get him ripping at his hair and frantically grabbing for something, anything, to stop the episode in its tracks.

And so, punishments aren’t common at all – with a few hard exceptions that he does, with time, deem as worthy of his punishments.

(Harming yourself is a large one, as is attempting to harm Jin. Most other things are fair game, and things that he understands why you’d do. But once there’s the question of safety, Jin’s hairs are standing on edge, worry eating him alive because he absolutely cannot have you bleeding or in pain or any number of horrible things.)

You’ll never, ever be physically harmed while with him – the mere thought makes him anxious enough that he feels like he’ll hurl, the images of you bruised and battered flashing behind his eyes and making him feel on edge, anger boiling up in his chest because he absolutely will not stand for you to be harmed in any capacity, whether by another person or by himself.

And he doesn’t even really like to emotionally punish you – he’s not the best manipulator in the world, and something about purposefully warping your mind makes him feel dirty, a grimy feeling that makes his skin crawl and that he wants to avoid at all costs. But sometimes, certain infractions – especially towards the beginning of your captivity – have to be addressed, the bad behavior in you stomped out before it can really take root.

And so, Jin relies on other methods to get these points across – that is, he decides to show you just how good you have it with him by taking some of that good away.

He’ll revoke your dinner privilege for a night, or showering privileges for a few days.

He’ll forbid you from listening to music by removing all electronic players in the apartment, his phone hidden on his person (and yours having been long destroyed, even from before he laid your unconscious body out on your bed, marveling at the sight of you and oh-so-gently brushing a strand of hair out of your face).

It doesn’t feel good, you being even minorly uncomfortable in any way a difficult a difficult sight, but Jin pushes through, his personalities arguing audibly but all eventually agreeing that showing you exactly what you do have is the best method to go about making you as happy as you possibly can be with him.

Besides, there’s something inexplicably satisfying about the moment that you finally admit that you need him, that as much as you hate the hell he’s created by kidnapping you and keeping you all for himself, you must rely on him if you want to survive.

And Jin is smug – finally, you’re starting to see that he can be good, that he’s really not the monster you’ve cracked him out to be. And as soon as the punishment is over, Jin is back to the ever-loving, clingy mess that he always is, desperate to be around you and get your attention.

Jin’s hurt, more than anything, when you lunge at him and swing your fist like you’re trying to punch him.

He stops you easily, of course, but there’s something about the look in his eyes that has you shrinking back, shame withering through your body because god, how can he look so genuinely heartbroken, so genuinely betrayed?

It’s silent for a few moments as he holds your wrist in place, his mind too distracted to even focus on the feeling of physical touch that you initiated, even if the intention was less than ideal. His voice is small when he asks you what you’re doing, hurt lacing his words as he asks why are you trying to punch me? Are you mad at me? What did I do?

And in a different voice, though still somber are you on your period?

And although you have a few choice words to spit at him, all kinds of answers popping into your mind immediately, there’s just something about the way he’s slumped over, shoulders drooping and defeated, the downturn of his lips and the soulful look in his eye that have you unable to speak, the words simply not rolling off of your tongue.

Jin waits for a moment, expecting a barrage of hatred to spew from you, but nothing comes. And so, with careful fingers and slow movements, he slowly lets go of your hand, watching with careful eyes for your next move.

When you don’t swing at him again, Jin takes a step back, the action looking like it physically pains him.

It’s late, we should get to bed. It’s silent again for a moment, but then he moves towards the couch.

Listen, I don’t want to be the bad guy, but tonight you’ve gotta, uh, you’ve gotta sleep here tonight.

You look at him like he’s a little crazy, and he sends you a sorry glance, that same hurt written across his features.

You’ve gotta understand that I’m trying to do what’s best for you, I promise! I know kidnapping you was wrong, but you’re here now and we’ve gotta make the best of it.

God get over it already! It’s already been a month!

You watch with wide eyes as he grabs the blanket off of the back of the sofa, folding it over his arm and gesturing to the furniture.

Sleep here, you’ve gotta learn that hurting me isn’t okay, and neither is hurting yourself so don’t you try anything!

I’ll sleep with an eye open, you hear?

The night is long without the blanket, the apartment’s heating out again as you shiver against the material, using the mangy couch cushions as a makeshift blanket. It’s horrible, and you roll over with a sigh, sure that you’ll never manage to fall asleep in this position but fully knowing that Jin would wake up if you tried to join him in the warm bed. Shutting your eyes and sighing, you again try to drift into sleep – unaware of the way Jin lays in the bed, staring across the room at you with fully awake eyes.

Watching you struggle is torture; he wants more than anything to get up and come bundle you up in the blankets, the sound of your clattering teeth and shivering audible even from his position. But he can’t – not if he wants you to learn your lesson.

Not if he wants you to understand that you absolutely cannot be trying to instigate violence between the two of you – you’re supposed to be a loving couple, happy with one another and perfectly content to live out the rest of your days together.

A punch doesn’t exactly fit that happy dream that Jin has whipped up, and although he knows it’s far off in the future, he fully expects it to become reality one day – you’ve just got to stop fighting it so hard.

And as morning arrives and you both lie in your respective places, neither of you having slept a wink, Jin decides it was worth it. Because when you get out of bed, crawling over to him and asking with that fucking look on your face if you can use the blanket or get in with him, he’s crumbling.

You’ve never asked before – you’ve never used the word ‘please’ with him since being kidnapped, and here you were now, asking him for a favor, politely, sweetly, like you actually appreciate him.

All he can do is stare dumbly at you for a few seconds, but then he’s sputtering out a yes and scotting over, opening up the sheets to expose the beaten-up white tank top he’s sporter and the boxer shorts. Immediately you jump in, the sudden warmth feeling heavenly on your chilled bones, but Jin can only shudder, the feeling of your body so close to his driving him crazy, your smell engulfing his senses and he swears he can even taste you.

He’ll pull you close, experimentally, and when you don’t fight it he’ll let out a slow, long breath, letting his hand rest on your side lightly, almost as if he’s afraid to touch you.

Almost as if you’re not real – and by extension that this sort of fondness you seem to be developing for him isn’t real either. But God, he hopes it is.

OVERALL DANGER:

5/10

Jin is not particularly dangerous.

Mostly, he’s just incredibly and overwhelmingly needy. He’s so sure that he’s not worthy of you, that you’re much too good for him that it causes him to overcompensate, to try much too hard to get you to like him, to get you to want him.

He’s always texting you, running into you at seemingly random places and times, always talking your ear off and looking so genuinely enraptured and intrigued when you respond to him that it’ll make you a little uncomfortable, the intensity in his eyes a bit scary.

He sees you as being something genuinely divine, his idolization of you terrifying in its sheer degree. He spends every free moment trailing behind you, always living in your shadow, pretending with a dopey grin that he’s actually living out your life with you, that you’re somehow aware of him stalking you, that you actually want him to be involved in your day to day life.

(And he only feels a little pathetic about this – his love for you and his intense desire to be recognized by you too strong to bar him from having some dignity and stopping this disturbing obsession.)

He’s always trying to interact with you, becoming addicted to hearing your voice and feeling your attention on him, becoming addicted to the feeling of protecting you, of being needed. And when he eventually snaps and steals you away, Jin only becomes more needy, trying desperately to compensate for the fact that he’s kidnapped you by spoiling you with any gift he can, respecting your privacy and autonomy, trying to keep you as happy as possible given your situation.

And really, while you’ll hate him at first, betrayed beyond belief and scared of this strange new person that seems to have replaced the Jin you knew, eventually you’ll slowly come around. You’ll start to realize just how truly pathetic he is, how he can’t help himself but want you and your attention, and although you’ll hate yourself for it, some part of you will be flattered by how badly he wants you.

Some part of you will be pleased that someone desires you so much that they’ve become such a mess, that they want to please you badly enough that they’re willing to throw their pride out the window for you. You’ll feel guilty and like you’re betraying yourself, but really it’s in your best interest to not fight this new development – because really, while Jin may seem a little scatterbrained and easy to manipulate, he’ll find you if you escape.

And he’ll find you remarkably fast – and although he still won’t hurt you upon your reunion, you’ll come to find that Jin has treated you very, very well. And when that’s suddenly taken away, you’ll find yourself wishing that Jin – your Jin, the one that would steal the stars and sky for you – was back, that he was with you and telling you just how beautiful you are.

You’ll slowly learn that you need him just as badly as he needs you, now – a sentiment that makes Jin beam so brightly that it nearly hurts.

#yandere bnha #yandere mha #yandere jin bubaigawara #yandere twice #_lee's profiles #_bnha #_jin bubaigawara #twice x reader #jin bubaigawara x reader

[mildy-vibing]

Alright I'm going to go off on a mild Itty bitty little head canon / AU of mine. Side note, grammar is not my strong suit.

Personally, I interpret the lamb as a very damaged being. They don't take it out on the world, instead they are very sympathetic and caring of their followers. The Lamb wants to make sure that each and every follower knows they are loved and not alone. The Lamb wishes to protect them and - even at the expense of their over dependence on them - keep them from the horrors of the world beyond the cult boundaries. They wish not to have anyone experience what they had experienced. Being the last of your kind (Toothless Experience) does damage to one's psyche.

Like, having to fight 4 bishops and a God just for the right to continue living hurts. The Lamb has struggled with plagues, hardship, and far too many wounds to count. Eventually they wish to know at least some peace in the form of death.

Oh yeah, you can't when you are death.

The Lamb also struggles with building deeper relationships. In the beginning years, they took up spouses. However, the knowledge that you will outlive them and everyone around you will always remain. When Narinder came around, for once, the lamb found a stable factor in their life. A hateful (secretly loving), immortal friend-turned-lifelong-partner.

Did the lamb hate the Bishops when they joined their cult? No. They still find the actions of the bishops deplorable. However, they understand these acts were done out of fear. Even though the bishops have hurt them in the past, the lamb would rather keep them on cult grounds than have them roaming the world.

Does the lamb enjoy being the God of death? They aren't exactly leaping for joy, but they accept it. What they do not like is what came with it. For decades, they were you know, lamb sized. When they ascended to God hood, their body grew to accommodate such power. And that means more than just becoming giant. It meant their senses heightened. All around them, they can feel life and the power that flows through the ecosystem. It greatly stresses them, often leading to overstimulation. Only Narinder is aware of the more vulnerable side of his husband. However, Lamb likes to keep their forms separate. They prefer their smaller, more agile form to their taller, imposing godly form. Better for the followers and all.

What does being the God of Death bring? A lot. Other deities, gods and divine beings still believe only Narinder as the God of Death. This is a point of mild frustration for the lamb. Would you be mad too if you fought your way to get a title you hardly wanted and nobody took you seriously. The only being that even has a speck of respect is ???. Even then, ??? treats them more like a child than a adult God.

The lamb hates the name 'Infant God'.

They often find themselves reminding people that they are indeed, 'God of Death' and not someone to be joked about. Yes, they are young by God standards, but still, they find such name degrading.

Narinder still finds it humorous at people believing he is still God of Death.

Anyways, end of my TedTalk. I'm open to questions, comments and stuff :]

'God form Lamb and Narinder'

AND HAND HOLDING.

#cult of the lamb #ibispaint art #art #cotl lamb #cotl narinder #narilamb #headcanon #cotl #Pre-Sins of the Flash #lamb as god of death

[fanficonly]

Wenclair X Reader- What Are You? - Chapter 7

Yeah at this point I don't even think I know why it takes me so long to post... sometimes the drafts are just sat there and I spend a week trying to figure out what it's missing before I can post.

But either way, apologies for my lack of posting, working on some one-shots still aswell which I never posted ... shocker

Hope y'all enjoy😋

After pacing towards the foyer and turning back every few seconds to ensure you were not followed by the two persistent girls, you finally reach where your bags are situated and breathe a sigh of relief.

All here. All in tact. So you grab the jacket, your favourite might you add, out of your rucksack and pull it over your shoulders to cover the blood-stained white shirt beneath it.

Now ... If you take your stuff to your room will they be gone... That is the question.

You give it a few minutes, deciding to sit on your suitcase a observe your surroundings for a while, now that you no longer have a suspicious red patch on your back visible to the public view it seems safe enough. Besides, you need to give Wednesday and Enid time to leave your room, atleast you hope that's what they're doing. Leaving.

The odd student passes by you, some giving you light smiles or nods, others too wrapped up in drama or conversation to pay a random student the time of day, understandably.

But one. There's one student who, although you had been sat here for 10 minutes hasn't said or done anything and instead opts to stare at you from across the room.

"For God's sake" you curse quietly to yourself, rather disturbed at the amount of stalker-like attention you seem to attract from these outcasts.You flit your eyes back to him every once in a while and nothing about his stance changes. Creep.

He's a rather tall looking guy with long shaggy hair, sitting on one of the lounge chairs, a note book in hand and no sense of privacy it would seem as he makes no attempts to hide the fact that he is watching you.

You're painfully aware of his eyes on you but it would seem every time you look directly at him he flits his eyes back to the notepad Infront of him jotting down god knows what.

Another 5 minutes go by and you become lightly frustrated with the uneasy feeling of being watched so this time,when you feel his tortured eyes watching you, you whip your head around to stare directly at him giving him a "what the fuck are you looking at?" Kind of look.

He finally smiles, seemingly unfazed by your looks of judgement. You watch as he chuckles to himself looking away from you and gliding his pencil across the page again before standing up to approach you.

"Hi" he says,now stood Infront of you he looks even taller up close which for some reason annoys you. The audacity to just be like 'Hi' was enough of an annoyance that you're mind quietly screams at you to settle your emotions before someone gets hurt ...or worse.

But you won't get very far unless you reply so all you say is "Umm Hi can I help you?" standing up as you do, so you're not craning your neck so high just to look at him.

"Sorry I just- I was watching you and-" something in you snaps a little, the feeling of uncomfortable subsiding and being replaced with more annoyance that he had so casually stared at you for 15 minutes straight without any thoughts to how it would make you feel.

"Yeah I could tell you're not exactly discreet" you spit, raising your eyebrows in complete disapproval of his invasive actions

"Woah woah I'm sorry, sorry" he repeats raising his hands in defense. "I just- you looked so-" he squints his eyes shut and practically face palms at his own idiocy before taking a breath.

He shrugs and awkwardly rubs the back of his neck doing everything in his power not to make any unwanted eye contact with you. Suddenly, he no longer seems threatening and instead an intense vulnerability emits from his entire body.

"Sorry I didn't mean to snap it was just a bit weird, I don't like being stared at" you scold him but also try to settle the awkwardness.Not a lot you should be apologising for but you wanted to avoid unnecessary confrontation. I mean you don't even know what this guy is or who for that matter.

"No no you're completely right" he interjects " It is weird and I am really sorry for making you feel comfortable" he continues and seems genuinely annoyed with himself and almost ridiculously apologetic now "Let me explain?" he asks clearing his throat and looking to you for confirmation which you grant with a slight nid of your head. He doesn't speak though instead he just turns the notepad towards you.

"Holy shit" you mutter earning a step back from him and another laugh. His eyes widen at the curse not expecting that reaction of course but after shaking it off he smiles with pride.

The notepad you had earlier thought him to be writing in was actually a sketch pad. The image staring back at you was ... Well you, in the exact position you were only moments ago, perched on your suitcase staring off into the distance.

The sketch was incredible for a quick 15 minutes drawing, which is why it deserved the shocked reaction you had just given, it looked exactly like you. The hair, the eyes, the shape. It was like looking at a photograph.

"Thanks" he says smiling again "Sorry again I just saw you and it was like this perfect moment, you weren't paying attention to me but you were so engrossed in the world around you, I'm an artist so I just- I can't really control the pencil when it hits the paper you know" he explains further. A little cliché you think to yourself but at the same time you were no longer mad, the explanation was good enough and you more than anyone understood bad first impressions and hoping for second chances. It was basically your whole life

"No no I get it that's fine that actually- like wow you're really talented" you compliment his work, trying to move past the once impending altercation.

"I'm Xavier" he finally introduces himself holding out his hand for you to shake. Instantly you worry, again not really wanting to initiate any kind of physical contact especially from a stranger. So instead of out right offending the nice student who had offered you his hand you make a joke of it.

"And I'm a Germaphobe hehhh" you step back slightly holding your hands up and laughing a little.

He once again holds up his hands, one still grasping the notebook tightly between his boney hands "No problem uhhh" he points to you this time awaiting a telling of your name.

"Oh right yeah I'm Y/N I'm new" you state the obvious and he smirks slightly but before he can say anything, a loud " Yo Xavier!" Is yelled from somewhere in the near distance. The Lanky dude waved at his friends and looks back to you

"Well it was nice to meet you Y/N hope to run into you again" he walks off joining the boys and as he talks to them he looks back at you. You can only imagine the questions he is being asked right now as he ushers his friends away pushing them playfully into the halls and leaving you to get back to your quiet observing.

Eventually you find the strength to drag your bags to your room, mentally commending yourself for having a very small amount of belongings as you finally reach your door with one last huff.

While reaching for the handle you have a spine chilling feeling of someone's eyes on you and instinctively dart your eyes around in search of any immediate threat.

A few seconds go by and you roll your own eyes at yourself. God you were really on edge today, understandably, so you just shrug it off and make your way into your new quarters.

Meanwhile*

Wednesday and Enid had been left in your room

"That waaaaas-" Enid drags out the word, desperately racking her brain for the right adjective to describe the entire interaction between the 3 of you.

"Odd" Wednesday finishes, staring after Y/N for a brief second and then turning toward Enid.

"Very kooky" Enid smirks at Wednesday with pride as if she had just dropped the smartest quip of all time.

""Very amusing dear" Wednesday's eyebrows jump up as she turns to look at Enid with a somewhat tired look.

"You love it really" Enid giggles and skips over to her girlfriends side, squeezing her upper arm and inhaling her sweet scent.

"Not as much as I love you ma Cherie" Wednesday cooes, still reeling from her encounter with Y/N, she awards Enid a quick but lingering kiss and reaches for the wolf's hand for comfort.

"Soooo do we wait here orrrr..." Enid smiles deviantly at her bloodthirsty paramour. She would never admit it but seeing Wednesday get all worked up gets Enid all worked up and now because of this she was buzzing to retreat to the privacy of their dorm.

Wednesday, having become used to Enid's 'Hints', just squeezed her hand lightly and pulled the smitten werewolf along behind her. She stopped at the door and glanced back at the room, Enid's playful bliss still in full swing but her face contorting in confusion as to why they had stopped moving.

"Me amore this feels like a missed opportunity" the darker haired girl scans her eyes across the room with curiousity.

After a moment of thought Enid understands what her girlfriend is getting at

"We are not going through her room Wednesday!" She scolds tugging at her arms like a whiny child wanting to go home after a long day out.

"Why not? It doesn't seem like she has much here anyway" Wednesday defends, a glance of a hopeful smile fading across her lips.

Enid bites her lip, nawing at it in contemplation, taking a quick glance down the stairs then back at Wednesday, who takes the opportunity to stare deeply into the wolf's eyes. She caresses Enid's face, whispering against her lips

"Cara Mia" before connecting their lips once again then pulling back to gaze into Enid's eyes again. The blonde goes weak, in the knees, hazy from Wednesday's intoxicating scent and she hums in contentment.

When she pulls back and opens her eyes, Wednesday is staring at her in what can only be described as mischievous hope.

"Urgh fine" Enid concedes and Wednesday smirks and turns to re-enter the room.

"Works every time" Wednesday mutters, a sinister smile playing across her pale lips, while she starts scanning the small room.

"Not every time!" Enid follows behind Wednesday, in denial of the power of persuasion the Seer had over her.

"Hmm I seem to forget you have inhuman hearing abilities piccolo lupo" Wednesday hums again, flicking her dark eyes towards Enid before continuing on

"And don't you forget it" She hugs Wednesday from behind and the Ravenette takes a moment to inhale Enid's stimulating perfume before removing herself from her warm arms and getting down to business.

10 minutes go by and the once calm and calculated Wednesday was now back into full frustration mode.

"Baby I told you there's nothing here" Enid had watched Wednesday search the draws,wardrobe and surrounding area but to no avail and commended herself privately for remaining an innocent bystander.

"She must not have had her belongings sent to her room yet nobody is this minimal" Wednesday narrows her eyes "How unfortunate" she all but mumbles before pinching her chin in deep thought. After deliberating with the voices in her head she makes a decision

Wednesday runs her hand along the bed sheets, then stares hungrily at Enid, awaiting the werewolf's eventual realisation of what she was proposing. Look, If she wasn't going to get anywhere with their investigation she might aswell get somewhere else with her beautiful and inviting confidante

"Not here!" Enid almost immediately stutters out after letting her mouth fall open in surprise. Wednesday's ability to bewilder Enid to this day with her unpredictable advances is something the werewolf would never get over.

"I am sure she would not mind" Wednesday shrugs, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

"Who are you?" Enid narrows her eyes at her girlfriend suspiciously. Don't get her wrong, she had seen this side of Wednesday before but the occasions were very few and far between and usually she wanted something or had done something wrong which she was trying got make up for or was about to do something that she couldn't make up for.

Enid giggles though and Wednesday throws back the quilt to playfully entice Enid. But Wednesday notices Enid has pulled her attention away from her and is staring at something on the bed.

"Mon Chiot I am trying to do the whole 'hint' thing am I performing it incorrectly?" Wednesday asked a twinge of vulnerability escaping her tone.

"No no!" Enid fumbles her words "Great job babe but umm what's that?" She points towards the item in curiousity.

Wednesday follows Enid's colourfully painted, pointed finger to see that a piece of paper that had flung from the bed as she had thrown the covers back.

In one swift move Wednesday swipes up the letter and reads aloud "Y/N" before smirking and looking up at Enid with mischief in her eyes once again. "Finally" she deadpans, happy that her efforts to uncover more about Y/N were not entirely in vain.

"Baby I don't think we should read her mail it's private" Enid somewhat whines at the idea of being so intrusive but Wednesday just hums in response, still staring at the letter as if fighting an inner battle between right and wrong

"Wednesdaaaay" she eyes the shorter girl disapprovingly

"Calm cucciola, you will not be implicated in my federal offense I assure you" Wednesday holds her hand up to settle her girlfriend and begins to open the envelope. As if any part of that sentence was suppose to make Enid feel better... It didn't, of course, and she was unable to stop her impulses from taking control in order to stop her Girlfriend.

"Wednesday!" Enid jumps across the bed practically pouncing, arm out stretched, attempting to grab the letter from the Seer tight grasp. Her efforts were thwarted when Wednesday swiftly turns to the side in one quick move, only craning her neck down to watch her incredibly clumsy little wolf fall over herself and land at her feet.

"Enid this might be what we are looking for?!" Wednesday reaches out a hand to her beloved and smiles slightly when she clumsily clambers to her feet. "Why search if I'm not going to investigate what I find?" Wednesday speaks logically

"It just feels wrong" Enid Huff's out, swiping at her clothes.

"Everything I do feels wrong darling because It is, in fact, rarely do I do what society deems correct" she states fact and then insultingly remarks "honestly it's like you haven't known me for the last 2 years" Wednesday fights the urge to roll her eyes and steps back from the blonde and attempts to once again open the letter.

"No Wednesday" Enid's morality gets the best of her and drives over her curiousity as she attempts to grab the letter a second time. Naturally, Wednesday had done far worse and Enid had actually been implicated in her criminally and somewhat irredeemable behaviours but that didn't matter because she loved Wednesday and something about it all excited Enid. Plus, no matter what, her Girlfriend always found a way to protect her and bypass the law.

"Your efforts are futile my dear" Wednesday states bluntly as Enid claws at her girlfriend, playfully of course, to avoid her criminal intent.

"My efforts are not-" amidst the struggle both Girls freeze as they hear a loud bang and some fumbling coming from the bottom of the stairs.

"She's back!" Enid whisper screams at Wednesday letting out a small squeak in her panic state and Wednesday's eyes widen still gripping the letter tightly in her hand, her knuckles turning an even more pale shade as she does this.

#wenclair #enid sinclair #wednesday addams #wenclair fanfic #wednesday x enid #wednesday #wenclair x reader #wenclair what are you

[pyreo]

I know there's people who like their fantasy storytelling to take a few steps away from reality, you know. Nothing that verges on allegorical to the stuff we worry about in real life. And I think I'm on the opposite team to that and y'know, the further away we get from gw2's original core story the more I see The World Summit instance as more pivotal than it appeared.

It's the part in the middle of Season 2 where you bring the world leaders together to try and insist that they need to aid you fighting Mordremoth, a primal force who's only just now awakened and started causing disruption and deaths. Mechanically, it serves to show the various cultures being made aware of the upcoming antagonist for mostly the first time.

But there's something that grips me to this day about the realism in that segment. You know full well that this thing is beginning its warpath and will kill those around you. You and your guild know that you need to take action immediately before it gathers itself together to a point you cannot fight it any more. I don't think the scene serves much more than obligatory scaffolding in a narrative sense but it echoes the way I feel in real life all the time. It's the focal point where I've never felt more aligned with my Commander.

Smodur: They're plant creatures! How hard can they be to fight. One good flamethrower and…

Knut: Mordremoth is not yet as close as the Sons of Svanir. They press in around our homesteads. That is more important.

Phlunt: Are you saying we should put ourselves on the line to protect all of you? We are safe in Rata Sum.

Jennah: I'm not ashamed to admit that I don't see how this will work. What are you asking of us?

It's not easy to ask the Main Five Peoples to get anything done together - they do come from legitimately incompatible cultures and there's bad history between humans and charr, and sylvari and asura. But you have to present an argument to each one to convince them this is the most important thing to devote resources to.

It's been about ten years since this was written and it still feels exactly like every conversation that deflects from the reality of climate change. The 'we have bigger things to worry about', the 'it's not that bad', the denials, the giving up, the ones who have enough to feel secure individually and don't really care.

That and the way the narrative turns from 'you're the hero, slay the dragon' to a domino effect that cannot be stopped, wrenching the planet off its hinges and it was all down to you. There's a big difference in changing the threat from ancient dragons awakening to devour all life... and it being the Commander's fault that the stabilising effect those dragons had is unplugged. The allegory becomes undeniable - you doomed the world. You have to chase down that tether and pull the weave back from unravelling even if it'll tear you apart. And even if nobody realises how close their lives are to ending, even if nobody respects you for it.

You have to look the most powerful people alive in the eye and plead with them to fucking help you for god's sake knowing it's a crisis and if you don't take action right now instead of waiting for it to get worse... being able to tell them 'I told you so' will be no solace at all.

And fuckin.... if fantasy stories are there to give us hope for ourselves, nothing hits as directly as the journey from "It's not that bad, why should we put anything on the line for you?" to

That hope means something very real to me.

#guild wars 2 #gw2

[niuniente]

YES THAT'S THE THING! The only negative thing I have heard about Buffy since it started airing in the late 90's is that Buffy always goes back to Angel, no matter what, and it can get boring.

After all, this is an extremely popular series. A cult classic. It has won lots of prizes and gotten nominations. Has gotten books, comics, a movie. Angel even got his own series!

And here I am, not believing what I'm seeing because the writing just sucks SO BAD AND MAKES NO SENSE and no, you can't say it's because the series is old.

This all is happening in S5. There have been inklings over the course that this series is indeed made by a man, because only a man would write romance or women like that. Nothing super big, just slightly annoying like "oh my god, no woman would actually think or do that".

The problem in S5 is that the series/creator clearly can't either understand what a healthy devotion is OR/AND can't commit to write Spike in one way only. He constantly contradicts himself without any given reason, which in this case would only be a severe mental health issue.

Spike is pictured as this lovesick puppy who would do anything for Buffy, a bit shy and really taking his time to gather his courage to confess his feelings, and who is also making sure that his actions won't hurt Buffy or her family, even if it would hurt or kill him. Like, this soft, gentle, sensitive man who will do anything to keep his lover safe and would never harm them in anyway. Every mother's dream son-in-law.

But Spike is also, at the very same time, pictured from this male perspective of a lovesick man; oh, isn't it romantic how he steals Buffy's clothes to smell them, has built an altar for her, has a Buffy mannequin at his crypt he treats violently when he gets angry, stalks her around her home because he can't help his feelings, how Spike asks her current girlfriend to roleplay Buffy in bedroom because otherwise he doesn't want to have sex with her, how he commissions this personal Buffy sex toy for his own pleasure and orgasms only, and how he kidnaps Buffy and tells Buffy he kills her if he can't have her? Oh, what romantic devotion, this man is SO in LOVE!

AND HE KEEPS GOING BACK AND FORTH! THIS EPISODE, HE WANTS TO KILL BUFFY. NEXT EPISODE HE ALMOST GETS KILLED HIMSELF BECAUSE HE WOULD NEVER ALLOW ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN TO BUFFY. WELL NOW HE STALKS BUFFY AND WANTS HER FOR HIMSELF ONLY, BUT NO, WAIT, HE'S ACTUALLY PROTECTING BUFFY'S FAMILY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO BRING ANY SADNESS TO BUFFY.

Like, who the hell is he? Do you want him to be the every woman's dream man or every woman's nightmare? He can't be both at the same time, not without an explanation and no, him being a vampire and sensitive isn't a valid explanation for such drastic differences.

And BUFFY? Sweet lord, Buffy! She's all just "eew, no" about this whole ordeal of having an obsessive man who has killed two Slayers (and is apparently the only vampire who has ever won against a Slayer) after her. No worry in the world. No concern that this man could kill or rape her, or hurt her family in his temper tantrum? Just scolds him by saying "gross" and "leave me alone".

And here I thought the biggest issue for the upcoming Buffy and Spike romance would be Angel's existence.

Of course, the series is probably going to brush all this freaky stuff off like "Nah, never happened and look, he was just so desperately in love and Buffy is so very strong she is not afraid of anyone and has no sense of self-protection as a woman".

I just don't understand how this level of character writing is considered even remotely plausible, not to mention something to be celebrated as an excellent cult classic?

Maybe it's just the Season 5. Maybe I'm just too old. And too sad. I just want better for Buffy and Spike, separately and together.

EDIT: OK TURNS OUT THE CREATOR OF THE SERIES HATED SPIKE AND HIS ACTOR FOR MAKING SPIKE A FAN FAVORITE AND RUINING HIS ARTISTIC PLANS, AND THAT THE CREATOR IS BASICALLY JUST A MAN SIZE WALKING DICK. A clear attempt to make fans hate Spike in S5 writing.

#S6 might have some hope for me #niu watches buffy #you know it's BAD when I get ranting because 99% of the cases I don't care enough about the bad parts in anything

[heartscrypt]

Hii! I have a question about your thoughts on jamiazu.

Do you think that Azul would ever be able to confess any romantic feelings for Jamil? If so, how? And if not, would they be able to get together in any other way?

Sorry if this is a weird question, just curious.

thanks for your question! it is SO not weird at all i really enjoy stuff like this. actually i am going to go on a huge ramble that goes on a little tangent so like. LONG POST AHEAD!!!! be warned!!!!!

anyways. azul is always confessing his romantic feelings for jamil whether he knows it or not. in every interaction. because he's so damn obvious. hope this helps LOL

in all seriousness though. i really like to think that azul is kind of cursed to be a hopeless romantic despite it going against all of his pragmatic sense. i mean. he's a child of divorce who hates leaving things up to chance and he believes in getting something back whenever he gives something away. being head over heels with someone goes against his whole nature, so i think it's definitely a new thing for him. he won't recognize that his feelings are romantic right away because he'll be too busy trying to justify to himself why he's investing so much time and energy into a guy that Clearly wants nothing to do with him and won't give him the time of day. its business, guys, i swear.... stonks.....

i think once he does come to terms with it though. it starts leaking through in Every Interaction he has w/jamil. in every encounter, azul basically ends up saying I Love You without actually ever speaking it out loud. whether it's through his actions (like getting jamil gifts / offering to help out without any genuine expectation of repayment) or or his words (like implying things about them being good together / complimenting jamil excessively). things he did before he realized, but they just have so much more Weight to them now that he Knows he likes the other in a very Non-Platonic-Business-Partners way. he doesn't intend for it to have that emotional weight but its fucking impossible for him to hide and he does NOT know what to do with himself.

he keeps pushing forward regardless because some part of him hopes that his feelings will reach jamil but he also does it with the expectation that jamil will push back like he always has and that's completely fine by him because never actually directly admitting that these feelings are romantic means that the rejections also stay platonic and that is. Way easier to bounce back from. because god forbid jamil sees at who he is behind all the walls he's put up to protect his most vulnerable and emotional self and ends up hating the real azul too.

tl;dr: i don't think azul would go out of his way to make a real, honest confession of his feelings. but he's so obvious it actually hurts to watch

---

ok so. as for jamiazu get-together:

maybe im like super biased b/c im a sucker for narratives that involve jamil learning to shake his passivity and going ahead and Taking what he wants. but i always think that any scenario where jamiazu gets together has to be initiated by jamil somehow. azul can make the first move and several moves after that but jamil has to be the one to make the Final move if that makes sense.

i don't have like. one set get-together scenario but i have a couple that i like to rotate in my head sometimes. most of them involve azul being a failgirl and getting caught off guard because i think it's funny and jamil also thinks it's funny. here are two for your viewing pleasure:

azul makes a pass at jamil that is romantic-coded but could be interpreted as platonic. jamil seizes the opportunity to turn it Explicitly into a romantic thing and fluster azul to no end about it.

azul: there's a new tasting menu at the mostro lounge if you'd like to come with me and try, i'd love to see what your discerning palette makes of it ^__^!

jamil, very casually: yeah sure. why not. i'll go on a date with you

azul, who did NOT expect a yes so his head is about to explode in t-minus 5 seconds: oh, uh. that's .fantastic, actually— wait. ....DATE?!?!?;!?

jamil corners azul and admits romantic feelings first. bonus points if it's a situation where any romantic confession would be incredibly out of the blue. and the way that jamil says it is like dropping a bomb on azul

like in potions lab. azul's concentrating very hard on pouring an exact amount of a substance. jamils watching him and at some point out of nowhere he breaks the silence in between them by going "i think i like you. in the romantic sense". azul's concentration snaps immediately and he fumbles the beaker into the cauldron out of sheer WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. it explodes in both of their faces. they both have no chance to address what jamil said because crewel is chewing them out for the next 15 minutes about lab safety. during the entire 15 minutes azul looks like he's been hit over the head with several bricks. Repeatedly. jamil's smirking the whole time though he dgaf. takes pleasure in flustering azul

anyways. im insane about these guys ♥️ if you stuck around and read the entire post im really sorry for writing so much i just have a lot of thoughts

#twst #twisted wonderland #jamil viper #azul ashengrotto #jamiazu #azujami #jamie talks #txt post #the public forum #again. sorry for the long post. oh god they make me so sicj #delusional posting tbh #the azul hopeless romantic hc is something that is very special to me #something about it is just very good. goes against his entire character but he cant help but Feel that way although he knows its irrational #also a big fan of jamiazu situationship #where jamil still insists that he finds azul insufferable and azul calls jamil his future business partner #but they also make out on a regular basis. so obviously they're both not telling the truth #so fucking funny to me. but thats not what you asked so ill elaborate on that eventually on another post

[smilingangel582]

Riiight so a lil cute request from a sweet fan made me realise I should try something new like rather than cake I might go for cupcakes or doughnuts. Hehe anyway reader stuff is pretty difficult but I'll try my best hehehe enjoyyy

Warning spoilers for the archon quest.

Annnd, after this, I don't take requests, guys... see you in 2024, then...

Your heart pounds in complete horror. The sound of those tapping foot steps just outside the courts you could sense a divine aura from the small silhouette.

Your mind raptured in the consequences you'll be facing for mere thievery by the Hyrdro Archon herself, Lady Furnia.

"Judgement shall be passed even for the most pettiest crimes." she curls her lips to a smirk, now walking towards you with confidence. Small she may seem, but she got greater tricks up her sleeve that will send butterflies into your stomach.

"Now y/n you should know stealing is unacceptable, correct?"

You began to stammer "I-I seriously didn't m-mean to-!"

"Steal? Is that an unconscious action, dearie?" Her finger slides under your chin to make you look up at her as you feel yourself quite smaller while on your knees. Swallowing dryly your palpitations escalated "L-Lady... Furina I..."

"Enough futile chattering," she grins with a pompous attitude "My word you're adorable when you're flustered... let's try something new for today's punishment"

Whatever did she mean by that? You clueless thought and began to scrutinize your predicament. Until you could grap it, she snapped her fingers, bringing two guards to pin you down to a chair they brought, strapping you to the centre.

Startled you squak "G-gah! Nonononono, I didn't mean to break the law! Eek! Lady Furina, don't hurt me. i swear i won't steal again!"

Clicking her tongue and wagging a finger, she smiles endearingly. "Tut tut, naughty children should know what will happen to them if they defy the laws... now, shouldn't they?"

Her finger descended to poke your sides, emitting a shriek from yiu, both from the electrifying touch and anticipation of pain... giggling nervously realisation dawned on you "Ah uh...um whahat are you -eek! Doing! Ahaahahaa!"

She wiggled her fingers mercilessly at your sides. The pure tortrous touch was even worse than pain. You felt your heart leap at every touch she gets on your ribs.

"Having fun, you have the liberty to laugh to your hearts content... or rather..." she snickered playfully "Mine"

"NOHohohoho ahahahaha plehehease nohohot thihihis! Throhohow mehehehe to thehehehehe dohohogs ohohor meheheheka? Ohohor pihihiranas! Ahahaha nohoho tickling!"

Unexpected turn of events often fluster you. you couldn't believe the mighty god would take such an approach. You shudder when she curls her fingers to your neck, making you squeal. "Naaaaaa waaahahaaait! Pleeeeheease!" geeehahahahaha"

"My, ticklish little thing, aren't you, I don't feel like stopping for the next..." she professed while firmly squeezing your hips to make you cackle."The rest of the five hours!?"

"NOHOOOO! LAHAHAHADYYYY FUHUHURINA MEHEHEHERCY!!!"

Although it's punishment, you knew perfectly well it won't be merciful. Her nimble fingers perfectly made you crumble in every way, and she would tease you "Oh does this tickle? Then how about here? Oh, this spot is better!"

"Yeeeeaahahahahahaha plehehehease! Ahahaha"

Furina hums now getting to your sensitive feet. "I just started... let me play -oopse- I mean, punish you a while longer... sweet Y/n" her giggles sent another shiver down you, and yet you can't say you could deny this adorable playful side of the god. She's entertained enough to tease you, so... hopefully not to lose your mind, you'll make do for the next five hours...

Perhaps... without dying of laughter or by Furina's sweet merciless side.

#ler!furina #lee!reader #tickle fic #cute #genshin impact #genshin impact tickle #dont know what tags to use

[x0401x]

Hello....Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...

I've been asked my top 10 before, but never from all of the media I love and I've never been asked to elaborate on why I love them. Not to mention that the list changes as I watch/read new stuff, so it's good to update it. Then again, I don't watch live action that much, so I'm afraid it's gonna be all animanga/books, if you don't mind.

I must say, though, that it was impossible to decide on 10 this time around. So I resorted to listing my top 5. The list is in no particular order, by the way.

1. Kuchiki Rukia

So this one was an instant fave and I don't even think I need to explain much. Badass, kindhearted, A+ sense of humor. Just checks all the boxes. Also love her unique character design.

2. Gilbert Bougainvillea

I strictly mean the book version of him. Gil was one of the very few fictional characters to ever surprise me. I love how unapologetically emotional he is and how he's always making sure the people he holds dear get to live a happy life. The way he's such a "family and friends first" kinda guy and yet nobody seems to realize it simply because he looks like the aloof type is bitterly relatable for me. Also the way he acknowledges how unfair life is for him despite being brough up in an environment that, in theory, had everything to meet all his needs, and yet tries to make the best of it all. And my God, the amount of Respect Women Juice that this guy drinks. Goals as a human being, tbh. (Yes, the books are that different from the anime.)

3. Oikawa Tsurara

I normally don't vibe all that much with characters like Tsurara, but she quite literally opened new horizons for me in fandom. Imagine the dumb, clingy servant girl stereotype turned upside down. You start out fearing that she'll fit into the Mold TM, and before you realize it, she's risen to become an upper officer in command of two clans and is endgame with the protagonist (with three more guys pinning after her). Except this isn't a Cinderella kind of journey; she was always treated by her love interest as an equal and was always portrayed as having immense potential. Her jealousy of her rivals seems comical but is actually valid, as her suspicions always hit home. She's smart and strong and not at all delusional, and the story makes sure to give her a steady growth. She never becomes overpowered, but the protagonist only gets to that level because of her.

4. Takigawa Masaki

Again, book version. Motherfucker just be casually defying every god in existence because y'all can't just try to kill my disciple like that, what the actual fuck. The "Catch These Hands" priest, because he'll punch the shit outta whoever gets between him and the little bitch who tried to harm his students. And then he'll fuck into his shrine in the middle of the woods like nothing happened. His main occupation, however, is to be hot as hell. Truly an icon.

5. Sheryl Nome

Same as with Tsurara, I normally don't vibe much with characters like Sheryl, but holy fuck, the amount of respect I have for this woman. Macross is a franchise that specializes in taking archetypes and tropes and subverting them completely, and Frontier is my favorite because the character handling in this thing is good fucking food.

Sheryl has such an attitude but she can back it up. And she does it in ways that are charismatic, rather than annoying or bitchy. She absolutely never puts herself down and is never portrayed as actually fragile and inoffensive on the inside. The narrative gets points too for never going "she's amazing but she won't ever be as good as the protagonist". And she's cute, sure, but she's also dangerous and is out there to get what she wants. Yet there's so much heart to her. So much passion and admiration for all things alive and for connecting with them through music. She usually only does what she wants but is so ridiculously selfish with the people she cherishes. Easily one of the most extremely complex and absurdly cool femme fatales in animanga.

#bleach #violet evergarden #macross #tsurune #nurarihyon no mago #macross frontier #kuchiki rukia #kyoani #gilbert bougainvillea #takigawa masaki #sheryl nome #oikawa tsurara #nuramago #anime #faves

[positivelybeastly]

Sometimes I feel like beast gets treated more harshly for some things than other characters are for almost identical actions. The time travel stuff especially, but the collective actions of the Illuminati as well

Heh. You know, it's funny, I was literally just grabbing a cap of some Stuart Immonen art from All-New X-Men #2, of a really pretty X-Jet, and, because I'm a glutton for punishment, I clicked the comments. Do you wanna read them? No? Too bad, I had to read them, so now, so do you.

"Hank is so self-absorbed it's incredible. No wonder the Watcher thinks he's garbage."

"Also, i think Beast should be lobotomized for his crimes against children and the space/time continuum."

"That said: f**k you, Hank. You are so weak and arrogant that you would risk destroying your oldest and dearest friends because you can't handle Scott helping mutants? You risk destroying the timeline and destroying your friends' relationships and their very minds and spirits."

Like . . . fuck, man.

It really is all just Bendis' fault. He made Hank do something so mind-numbingly stupid, and it was presented slap bang in people's faces, and LITERALLY NO-ONE stopped to question if it was even in-character for him to do this.

It wasn't, by the way.

Be warned, disturbingly hot, smart, and urbane Hank McCoy incoming.

OH HEY.

LOOK.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE HANK'S FUCKING SMART OR SOMETHING.

I JUST.

GET.

SO.

FUCKING.

ANGRY.

THE MAN IS FUCKING SMART. And then Bendis just has him do something so mind-numbingly stupid, and no-one even blinks an eye at whether or not it even made sense for him to do it.

And do you know what makes me fucking laugh? Is that other writers were actively mocking the plotlines as they were going on, but because so many comics readers are as dumb as fucking rocks, they didn't even realise.

Oh yeah, it IS almost as if people in the Marvel Universe regularly fuck the timestream without taking it for dinner or applying lube, I almost fucking forgot! But because Bendis decides that there are ramifications this time, suddenly Hank is the destroyer of all of space time.

Which of the three is it? Was this something that was always meant to happen, or not? If this is something that can happen when you meddle with space-time, why did Hank do it? Why? Is? Bendis-Hank? So? Fucking? DUMB???

And you know what, I need to bring this up, because LITERALLY FUCKING NO-ONE ELSE IN THE FANDOM EVER WILL

This was not a decision he made in his right mind? He was dying? His brain is seizing? He's having heart palpitations, in agonising pain, his mentor is dead and one of his oldest friends was the one who killed him, and he's in such a depressive spiral that he doesn't even want to tell the people around him that he's dying because he doesn't want to worry them.

But no, this is a decision that we're never, ever, ever going to let Hank live down. In fact, this decision is SO AWFUL THAT

Fucking blow me.

I know that I'm, like, seemingly the one X-Men fan that actually reads fucking comic books rather than going off panels I see posted on Twitter (this slight is aimed mostly at Reddit, not here, don't worry), but, like . . . god, I'm just so fucking furious that I had to sit, and watch a targeted character assassination, in real time, of my favourite character, and the fandom just fucking lapped it up.

Even now, the era from the end of Avengers vs. X-Men to Krakoa is called the Lost Era in mutant history. There are SO MANY THINGS that have been completely forgotten.

Hey, remember when Emma Frost did this?

Oh yeah, what consequences did she face for this?

Nothing?

The amount of shit that sticks to Hank makes me fucking sick. Everyone gets a pass for what they did, except for Hank.

The New Avengers/Illuminati stuff is the one that gets my goat, because do you know how Hank spent that time?

Buckle the fuck in.

Hank lacks the constitution for hard decisions.

Hank believes in the power of good men to change the world with ideals.

Hank will take the coward's way out, every time. The way that saves lives.

Hank will spend the time to talk, every time.

"We should help if we can. How could we not?"

Oh hey, Bruce Banner, I think everyone kinda forgot you were in this Illuminati too and you get a free pass!

Interesting.

Hmmmmm.

That last one REALLY makes me laugh because it really does just kinda read to me as Hickman pointing out that Hank's actions in All-New X-Men make no fucking sense.

And Hank has to just.

Sit there.

And take it.

And every.

Single.

Time.

Someone tries to put him back on the path to being who he is meant to be, some.

Fucking.

Jack-off.

Ruins it again.

Shit sticks to Hank like it doesn't stick to anyone else.

I'm fucking sick of it.

I ain't even touching the Percy stuff. That's just - phwaoooooah. Not to mention, I'm out of images.

Just sucks, man.

Just sucks.

#Anonymous #outofmuffins

[davekat-sucks]

I do have to say that anon who soeculated on Dirk’s role does have a good idea for where the plot may be going and the setup for Dirk’s ultimate session, although I never considered the horrorterror session, generally because I have a hard tike taking it seriously. What’s notable as well is apparently it was 48 players that made the 48 zodiac signs of Alternia, but that got retconned to 288 signs of Hiveswap. What I think Dirk is doing is two-fold.

1. Dirk states in the epilogues this is being done to maintain the existence of their Universe. Homestuck is shoulder-deep in metatextual fuckery so of course the characters treat the in-universe existence of canon as real and like a story they exist in. If the story ends, the characters will decay away into unobserved, undefined, and untended void of irrelevance. Without us, the audience to pay attention to the narrative and characters of Homestuck, Homestuck doesn’t exist. Of course, narratives need conflict, and Dirk makes a new session to run a new overarching story that keeps Dirk and Rose in focus, and in a sense the cast alive. It could have gone a lot of different ways but Dirk is better at abrupt action than long term planning, the real plan comes from the second reason.

Earth C is the Cherub’s birth planet. Billions of years after Earth is ruined, a cherub will lay the egg of Caliborn and Calliope inland a ruined field somewhere on the dead planet, with only communications via a radio tower that transcends the narrative… Hussie’s IP server!

Of course, the earth now orbits a red giant with all the water evaporated and food wasted, so they are cared for by Gamzee who got sucked into the black hole caused by Lord Jack’s big-ass head implosion in [S] collide, giving that version of Jack his one true purpose: to die and transport the cherubim guardian to the right place.

Now the next requirement for Earth C to house the Cherubs is all the immortal Gods to be gone. Inevitably over the course of 3-4 billion years the beta and alpha kids, Kanaya, and Calliope are going to have to leave Earth C and never come back. Something happened for them to be gone. The cause doesn’t matter, only the effect is destiny. Dirk was nesting the Cherubs, he just had to pull their biggest threat off the Earth.

One final addendum, I don’t know what Dirk’s successful species is gonna be, and if the HICU will actually let the species exist and build the new sburb session or fakeout kill them in classic Hussie trolling style. What matters is Dirk gave the species a name: Sartyr, amd looking at sillhouettes it looks to be a bipedal anthromorph, much less a squid creature. I don’t think the HICU has the balls to do the horrorterror session.

They don’t have to, they heavily implied Dirk is dating Rosebot and fans on r/homestuck avoided the topic to talk about how good the art is and how the update is finally getting the ball rolling and how the sequel writing is finally good, stuff we’ve all heard before. The HICU posted another 12 pages of a monthly update where something almost happened and fans ate it up. This is Homestuck now. Where something almost happens, and then we wait a month for something to almost happen again.

That really seems to be the case. Before under Hussie and Whatpumpkin, the bad art and story were noticeable within each update. It's been routed in our brains that every update would be this. James Roach and HICU took advantage of it by getting to focus on the pretty art first before the story because most of us would skim through the text. Nobody would actually pick up on what it is going on until they read it 3-6 more times to let it sink in. It was like this before for many new readers of Homestuck. Most would look at the pretty picture or flash and less reading on the text. Vox's Let's Read at least makes it accessible for those who struggle reading, but even they don't update frequently and are at a certain stopping point where others need to go to the webcomic to continue. And I think a person watching the LR Homestuck and having to go back to the webcomic during ACT 6, is probably not a good experience for those entering the series. It's funny back in MSPA Forums, talks of incest was banned despite the themes of said incest being a common thing in Homestuck. And it was TOBY FOX who made The Baby Is You to troll at the mods that tried to cease the topic of incest. People may have known Toby Fox wrote some crazy funny m-preg song and it got relevance again thanks to a modern Pokemon game, but I don't think people actually knew the context and history behind on WHY he made it in the first place. And now we got people too scared to speak about it openly.

#homestuck #homestuck fandom #hs2 #homestuck 2 #homestuck^2 #homestuck2 #hs^2 #Homestuck Beyond Canon #HSBC #James Roach #HICU #Homestuck Independent Creative Union #MSPA Forums #Whatpumpkin #What Pumpkin #Andrew Hussie #Toby Fox

[sunshinediaz]

20 questions for fic writers

i was tagged by @callmenewbie, @hippolotamus, @watchyourbuck, @thewolvesof1998, @jesuisici33, @wikiangela, and @exhuastedpigeon 🫶🏼

i'm gonna put it under a cut because phew it got kinda long

how many works do you have on ao3?

31

what's your total ao3 word count?

uh, 301,903 which... goddamn look at me go

what fandoms do you write for?

i've written for stucky, geraskier, yenskier, steddie, and buddie, but it's only buddie right now. those 2 losers are really rotting in my whole brain and i'm loving every second of it 🤭

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

(i cheated and used only buddie okay) the side effects of eating too many clementines at 759 the dinosaurs smelled magnolias at 722 this is why you shouldn't piss in the ocean at 668 you'll feel the rush of it all at 511 all things bright and beautiful at 453

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i absolutely respond to comments! it might take me a while because i'm not articulate enough to convey how much i adore everybody, but i love talking with people that enjoy the silly goofy stuff i write!

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

burned on the pyre, a steddie timeloop fic. the ending isn't exactly angsty, but it isn't as joyous as all my others because it was important to me to keep it as realistic as i could + it reflects my mental state so, uh, oops

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mm, i think you can argue all my fics have happy endings but if you go down in the woods today has the FUNNIEST ending and that's important

do you get hate on fics?

yeah lmao

do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes i do! and, um, the explicit kind? i don't know how to answer this because my porn varies for each fic but they fuck nasty regardless!

do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

no. that's not for me.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

absolutely i have <3

have you ever had a fic translated?

i have not!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope. i tried once when i was younger but it didn't work out because i'm a dickhead and found that i was not only writing my parts but fixing theirs as well.

what's your all time favorite ship?

i've had a lot of ships over the year and i'm never going to forget any of them, ever, but buddie gives me so much joy and good times and i think... yeah they're probably my favorite ship

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

none of them honestly? i'm going to finish all of them.

what are your writing strengths?

uh, dialogue. maybe.

what are your writing weaknesses?

angst, emotions, porn, things that make sense, action, romantic relationships, ANGST.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

god, so i'm pretentious and while i know some spanish i'm definitely not fluent but i refuse to use google translate so a friend of mine helps me with translating as straight across as we can—so like, long story short, it's a yes from me

first fandom you wrote for?

maximum ride on ff dot net 💀 why was i 12 years old learning how to navigate that fuckin site my god

favorite fic you've written?

but i've got my teeth in you, a bad things happen fic where buck gets a tooth knocked out during the lafd annual baseball game and somehow proposes to eddie, who of course says yes. it's just so FUN?

i'm no pressure tagging @honestlydarkprincess, @shitouttabuck, @giddyupbuck, @callaplums, @daffi-990, @try-set-me-on-fire, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @eddiediaztho, @nmcggg, and honestly anybody else who wants to be a lil chatty mwah

#tag games

[noodleblade]

Your soundstar post is so good, how do you think they got together? And did that decrease the murder attempts on megatron's life?

;-----; thank you <333333333 i love them so much and dont talk about them nearly enough.

Honestly, for me, I see their coming together really slow and gradual. Their relationship professionally is marred with complex distrust/trust for each other. They hate each other but also know they need each other in order for the Decepticons to get anything done. Soundwave is far too competent and instrumental to the actual function of the Cause for him to be displaced and Starscream, while vile and wicked, is second in command for a reason. He has leadership qualities and is competent in his various fields that it would be a major blow to the Decepticons to lose him as well. They both know this and understand this but there is still distrust between them.

I think loyalty/trust is something that builds over time. Its slow, its very background because so much other stuff is going on all the time they don't even realize they are giving each other that trust. I don't think it would be a One Moment Changes Everything type beat. Its a collection of them that add to their growth.

I think affection is something that takes even longer. Vulnerability is something they both have....difficulty with. If we are looking at TFP, Soundwave is incredibly guarded to the point of appearing almost mechanical while Starscream is volatile and hostile, he is also rarely open. Again, I'd picture it being a cluster of little instances of dropping their guard for a moment and these moments just...collect:

Starscream catching Soundwave working night shifts on the bridge alone, listening to music. Soundwave watching Starscream sneaking out to stretch his wings. Working together without a single argument and realizing, huh, this works pretty well? Success in doing something together and sees what happiness/pride/success look like on the other.

In TFP, there is a sense of sadness in both of them which I think allows for quite a bit of vulnerable moments. I could (and maybe one day will) write hundreds of these little, inconsequential moments.

For me, their relationship isn't so much as romantic as it is intimate. I, personally, don't picture them very lovey dovey, holding hands and going on dates and what not, but I do obsess over the quiet intimacy of sharing a space and allowing for them to drop their masks. Starscream doesn't have to posture and dramatizes his every action and Soundwave can loosen up and relax. Gently caring for each other in ways they neglect themselves. I could go on but god this is already much longer than I expected.

And yes, the murder attempts probably still continue. Maybe lessen, but Starscream's issues with Megatron are not solved by being in any sort of relationship with Soundwave. I think the beauty of their relationship is they still piss each other off at work. Starscream still demands bold action and approach in fighting the Autobots and Soundwave still prefers a defensive, subdued measures. They poke holes in each other's plans and ultimately, it makes them better in the end. I think depending on the continuity you choose, there is room to explore how Megatron effects their relationship, but I like to think they keep it very separate from what they are doing work-wise. There is potential for conflict there as well that would also be interesting to explore.

#anon you have blessed me with being able to ramble about these two while on hold thank you thank you #soundstar #asks #anonymous #i should have prefaced this is viewed from a tfp lens for the most part

[deadlysoupy]

Hiiiii Soupster, saw the silly character thing : )

Bumblebee - 3, 12

Starscream - 2, 25

& 20 for both hehe xoxo

HIII YIPPEE THANK YOU!!!!! (double thank yous bc i get to obnoxiously destroy this post with so many words)

Bumblebee

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

oooh some people may not like this answer because yikes but i straight-up hate how muteness becomes his character trait. Prime is the most guilty of this, the Bumblebee movie takes second place. in Prime, he can still talk and most bots and even humans can understand him - so what's the point?? if you only have this as a clutch for a character and personality, then i'm sorry, but it comes off as shallow. he's supposed to look like a child soldier burdened by war, but it's not a personality: beyond that, he's sometimes a kid, sometimes arrogant, and sometimes badass. add "being mute" and "disabled", and it becomes really weird. why can't he use other methods of communicating? i don't know and it actually makes me frustrated

same thing with the Bumblebee movie. he doesn't have any personality except "cute", "childish" and "mute". it is a bit better because he expresses himself through his actions and body language rather than a language everyone knows, but at the end of the day his traits are very shallow. and i am very sad and bitter about this

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

hehe too many 🥰🥰 no not actually too many i'm rather bad at headcanons, so mostly for TFE

he's a "medic" to the Terrans, has first-aid training and helps them if they get hurt, but anything serious he's unable to treat

body dysmorphia, because look at him in ep 12 and tell me he doesn't have any opinion on JB's comment, i dare you

he wasn't sparked (forged??) during the war and he had some time to live on a normal Cybertron before it all went caput

and there aren't any particular ages in cybertronian biology to track of, so i can very hardly ever call him a child soldier, but he does fit the boxes so... shrugs (there's an overdue post from me which analyses the times he did show he was a "child" during war, but i ditched it in early stages because i would grasp at straws a lot and there isn't enough evidence. still a fun thought)

Starscream

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

I LOVE THAT HE'S A SCIENTIST i can't help it. i always believe that every character has to have a hobby (i guess relatively racing counts for Bee since he does enjoy it), and in other continuities i don't see Starscream having anything to do other than to scheme and backstab, so i absolutely adore whenever in G1 (which is only two times i believe BUT STILL) he does science. it would make sense! he's smart! he has to do SOMETHING before the war starts. absolute chad

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

OH MY GOD LMAO i didn't think of him much when i first watched Animated in, like, 2022, but then, when i came back into tf-watching, after TFE i went for a hunt on other tf-related media. Starscream didn't entice my interest much except in Prime and Animated, but then, silly me, i learned of the comics, specifically RID and TAAO. there was no coming back from that one LMAO i really liked him in the comics and for a long time i had felt like it was one of the only truest characterisations of him

besides the meta stuff, i used to think he was just evil and selfish and i didn't care much for him, but i've grown since then lmao and i have an eye out for anti-heroes and villains now (i did used to think it was black and white, tf changes people istg). now he's a blorbo i constantly pick at but surprisingly have never written a centered piece yet. i should. he's fun. i think i just don't like writing characters with depression (sorry)

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

I MEAN. STARBEE RIGHT. YEAH? okay. (they're two halves of the same coin and Bumblebee always tries to peel back Starscream's layers while he's afraid of letting others know the real him and in turn Starscream lets Bumblebee be angry and snarky when he wasn't allowed to in the past DO YOU UNDERSTAND-)

but also i think Bumblebee's friendship with Hot Rod/Rodimus from any universe is really nice, i feel like they have this cute bond of being young and reckless sometimes. i wish idw didn't do them so dirty with their competitiveness or whatever thing they had. they really seemed to get along in Cyberverse. ALSO of COURSE his friendship/brotherhood with Breakdown in TFE, because they're so touchy and affectionate with each other it makes me wonder a lot about their past together and what exactly tore them apart considering they were so close. ghaaa the horrors of war!!!! its the oldest trick in the book and it gets me every time

for Starscream - absolutely Skyfire/Jetfire (i like the Skyfire name more and i don't know why). G1 is so big-brained with how they treated these two. if they are a couple - i absolutely adore it and i don't usually mind when they're paired together instead of starbee, because i can see it too. they have great chemistry (lmao that's a science joke) and i'd love to see more of them in other media. just get him away from Megatron plz

#god this took a LONG time to write lmao #at least my classes are good for something #thanks for asking ryan!!!! ily <3 #asks

[chirpsythismorning]

I've been on Reddit for a while and, god, Mike/Mlvn stans there are soooo weird. They put Mike on a pedestal, whitewash all the flaws that make him interesting, praise him for doing the bare minimum, and treat Will AND EL as tools useful to make Mike look better.

As a Mike stan, it's so unpleasant to read those stupid ass takes...

Mike is so complex and flawed and that's what makes him one of the best characters.

All of them are complex!! We're supposed to question them and their actions so we can figure out what it means for them and the overall story.

But the thing about Mike is that, the story is directly avoiding explaining everything that's actually going on with him, ie. Mike apparently noticing Will's every move at Rink-O-Mania, but the story not letting us see that... And so people watching casually are understandably just very prone to disliking Mike, because they have so little to go off of.

Post s4 a lot of bylers were coming for Mike, but that started to shift when we realized his POV was largely missing compared to previous seasons, and that there's a reason for that.

But it wasn't just bylers, plenty of casual fans will go on Reddit even still over a year later, and bring up their distaste for Mike and/or Mike and El's relationship, and how it's stemming from the fact that they don't know the truth about what is actually going on. They are confused. And they don't like what they are seeing based on the conclusion they have come to.

And instead of being met with actual evidence that explains Mike's behavior beyond the superficial, they get chastised by active fans in the sub. UGH it's so obvious. It's not that difficult to understand! That's the kind of stuff they say to casual fans every single day coming on there for answers after watching the show and sensing something off. Like, it must not be that obvious if not only bylers are acknowledging the elephant in the room, but even random casual fans are out here simply looking for some clarity, consistently.

And the way they talk about Mike, they talk about him in a way where it's obvious they don't actually know what he's genuinely going through. They conflate him to being in love with El and insecure because she's better than him. And their biggest defense is that all teenage boys go through that? Like, what are we even talking about right now?

On a show as complex as Stranger Things, they go from giving us the protagonist's POV in the first two seasons, to almost removing it entirely, causing the bulk of their audience to be confused bc there are pieces missing... You'd think that was probably intentional? Probably to keep a secret going, seeing as explaining exactly what Mike was thinking throughout s3-4 would sort of give the surprise away?

Every season has to get better than the previous. The stakes for season 5 are MASSIVE. And many are going into it completely misunderstanding what Mike is thinking and feeling. All it would literally take is informing them to change that and make the show come full circle perfectly.

I think they intend for the show to be rewatched and rewatched again and again. And you're not going to be able to rewatch ST from the beginning if you don't like Mike Wheeler. And that includes him and all his flaws that go beyond just the palatable that they've been willing to reveal up to this point, but also the truth behind it the Duffers have been so tight lipped about, with intentions to save it for the end.

If they're keeping us in the dark about Mike's true feelings and most of the audience hates him rn based on misunderstandings, then yeah, there's a really good chance they'll do what they can to clear up that confusion. There's a good chance they'll want to do what they can to make all of those moments in previous seasons easier to appreciate Mike's complexities and what he was going through more, and while most had no idea or even denied it as being a possibility in the first place when confronted with it back then.

If you're conflating Mike to he's a teenager give him a break and you're not actually down for discussions about what makes him very intentionally complex and why he is deserving of actually being able to say his piece for everyone that's misunderstood him over the years, then idk what to tell you. You're expectations for the Duffer's are obscenely low...

#byler #ask #mike wheeler #reddit rambles #i saw them once do a whole shitpost on el and explain why mike was right at every point and el was wrong... #it was weird... #like all of the characters have their reasons for why they do what they do #will has his reasons #el has her reasons #and mike has his reasons #the problem is we are mostly in the dark about what those reasons are in mike's case #if we weren't and they kept us as clued in as they did in s1-2 #there would be no debate rn #and we'd all being going into s5 confident that byler was the route they were going #but that's not what they wanted #normalize straight-baiting for your audience with proof all along the way so they can't try to say it came out of nowhere #normalize subverting tropes #normalize saving the best and most surprising for last