#even tho they owe me nothing. but i’m selfish. maybe that’s why i hold on to everything. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clolikescloquetas · 4 years

Text

THINGS I HOPE TO SEE (OR NOT) IN ACOTAR4

Nesta NOT STAYING AT THE ILLYRIANS MOUNTAINS for long, and travelling to other courts or the continent instead so she sees the world just like she wanted to do before the war. I think sending her away to a cold mountain surrounded by misogynistic warriors who hate her and are scared of her was a stupid af decision. Especially when it's a war camp and war triggers her PTSD. Oh and let's not forget there's a revolution about to take place. I see it as a very forced way of the narrative to make cassian and nesta interact. I understand an unexpected turn of events was needed as a beginning for acotar4, but going to the mountains shouldn't be anything more than a beginning that quickly leads us to another location. We've been told many times that nesta is "illyrian at heart" but I don't buy it. She isn't such thing, and her character is way too complex and interesting and has too much potential to just make her fit into a culture she doesn't belong to and has nothing in common with (it's stupid to think a place that reveres war and bloodshed will help her heal).

Besides, after all the places the previous books introduced I think it would be boring to stick to the same court. I loved Velaris but now that Feyre's story has ended it's time to move on. Not to mention that the Night Court is the worst place for Nesta, it reminds her of all her trauma and its high lord is a male she despises. Nesta needs to go somewhere else where she can recover her spirit and independence, and be free of the commands of a male that gives her orders as if she were her subject (she is not).

Hopefully, knowing how much sjm loves plot twists and given how she's already told us where nesta is supposed to go, it won't stay like that for long.

NO TRAINING. Maybe learning self defense techniques but that's as far as I'll go. No training to turn her into an almighty warrior. Nesta has power from literally the mightiest magic device in the world, and you're telling me getting beat on a ring will empower her?? Even when she's previously stated her refusal to train and said fighting isn't the only thing that makes someone strong?? And we're talking about Nesta, whose powers make her lethal. Making Nesta train would butcher her character and istg if they pull the "fighting helps her go back to her old self and empowers her" I will lose it. Enough with making that troupe work for everyone. We've seen it before and it has worked out well for other character, but in this case it wouldn't feel right and would be boring af.

I've seen a few people say they want Nesta to command the Illyrians, and help with the whole misogynist issue they have, or that she should do the Blood Rite I don't know if the name is correct, I don't remember it to gain the respect of the warriors. How should I put this: NO. This is more of the "Nesta is Illyrian at heart" bullshit Rhysass likes to pull, when what he actually means is that she is proud and stubborn. She, and I can't stress this enough, is not Illyrian. She shouldn't be participating in traditions she doesn't understand and doesn't engage in (she doesn't want to learn how to fight for fuck's sake) and we certainly don't need nesta to pull a white saviour behavior. I don't want her to come and solve a centuries old problem of a culture she doesn't belong to. And I don't see how she could do that in a credible way either, given how they all are terrified and wary of her. This also applies to the rioting issue that is looming over the illyrian camps.

Nesta healing and improving her mental health with cassian at her side to support her, without making him the reason why she gets better. And showing the effects war has on a veteran as Cassian too.

Someone, preferably Nesta, calling out Feyre, Rhysass and the rest of the IC on their shitty behavior and actions, and the narrative finally acknowledging their mistakes and portraying them as the deeply flawed characters they are. Now that we don't have Feyre's POV anymore there are no excuses for condoning their shit.

Cassian realising he has judged, ignored and said cruel things (like he doesn't know why her sisters love her are u kidding me) to Nesta and how he hasn't stood up for her before his friends. Oh and how he ignores her when Mor is present. I'm a sucker for nessian, but before they are a thing, he should apologize. I don't like how he treats nesta poorly and then expects her to love him, when she doesn't owe him shit. It's selfish of him to expect her to fit into his family even when they all hate her. I hope acotar4 handles well these issues. And I can't wait too read Nesta's POV and know why she didn't want to be close to Cassian after the war.

Nesta making new friends on her own, people who respect her and love her. I love nessian but I don't want their relationship to be the only deep interaction and relationship Nesta has. I would LOVE to see her and lucien become best friends (they were supposed to be lovers after all, and although a romantic relationship has been dismissed I'm sure their friendship dynamic would be amazing), or get acquainted with Helion or even Azriel. She needs to meet new people, and preferably not from the night court.

We've read many times how Nesta's powers are described as great and terrible. The source of her power is the fucking cauldron, used to create the world. Even tho no one knows yet what those powers are exactly, she has used them to turn hundreds of soldiers to ashes and even the bone carver, a death GOD, has spoken of the way the earth trembled at her power when Nesta was made. I want these powers to be a huuge part of the plot in this book. I want Nesta to master them fully, and for us to see the process. I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks like this, but when Feyre discovered she had powers from all the high lords, it seemed to me that she mastered them too quickly. I was hoping to get more attention on that issue, but it got dismissed quite quickly. Now that it's Nesta's time, I want the book to fully focus on these powers. Oh, and what I want the most is my baby to become the most powerful creature in the continent. More mighty than Rhysass and the other high lords by far. You can't give us a whole book preaching how nesta is really powerful, and how she took something from the cauldron that made the earth tremble, and then turn her into a common witch or something similar. I mean you can't expect me to believe the high lords have more power than the cauldron.

Although I find that to be another plot hole, bc the cauldron was supposed to be almighty but then Rhys and Feyre restored it when it broke?? Does that mean they are more powerfull than the object that created their world?? If that is so, they why didn't they win against hybern sooner??

Anyways, I want Nesta to never have to bow to anyone. Ever.

Well that is what I'd like to see in the next book. Which, based on the information we have, is basically the opposite of what will happen. As far as we know, sjm said there would be a lot of training in this book (I assume she was talking about Nesta) so there goes the chance of her not been a warrior. We know she'll go to Illyria, and although it's my hope she leaves soon or that she never goes in the first place, I know that's not what's going to happen.

And then there's the sex. Sjm said she had to delete some of the sex scenes bc her editor said they were too much and unnecessary. Which means there are still plenty of sex scenes in the books, as sjm confirmed. Don't get me wrong, smut is fine if handled correctly. But I don't think it will he handled correctly.

In fact, I think acotar4 will be placed on illyria the whole book or at least a huge part of it, and that we'll have lots of unnecessary and meaningless sex scenes inside of Cassian's cabin in the mountains instead of a well written and interesting plot, a well developed and complex relationship between the characters and a well handled depiction of PTSD and trauma healing.

In my mind it'll go like this:

Nesta arrives in the mountains. She and cassian are mean to each other for a while and the sexual tension is pretty obvious between them. Nesta starts training. At the beginning she hates it but over time she ends up loving it and excelling. Sex. Nesta makes a few friends between the illyrian female warriors she trains with, whose characters are shallow and totally secondary. Sex. More sex. Maybe something about Nesta's powers. A scene where cassian and nesta have an openhearted conversation about their relationship. Cassian never acknowledges how he treated Nesta, but she will apologise to him for how she kept him away. This leads to more sex. Nesta makes up with feyre, and apologies to her for being mean or whatever sjm comes up with. Feyre doesn't apologize back, or it's a shitty apologize for sure. Sex. Nesta stablish a cordial although cold relationship with Rhysass and Mor bc apparently she and Az are not destined to interact (even tho Az would totally oppose Nesta's situation of being sent to the illyrian camps). Sex. Nesta does the Rite. Sex. Sex. Something about the illyrian rebels. Cassian gets hurt. Nesta goes feral and gets a hold on the illyrian people. They respect her and answer to her now. Sex.

Or something along these lines. Oh and I have the impression sjm loves her main characters too much to write any scene showing how the decisions, actions or behaviour regarding Nesta of Feyre and Rhys were wrong. Acknowledging this could make it seem like they are flawed people like the rest, and apparently that's not possible.

I pray to be proved wrong once the book is released. Only time will tell.

174 notes · View notes

pierregasly · 4 years

Note

You okay? You haven’t been very active last days

Awe, thanks for asking. It’s kinda a bit long but here it goes.

Pretty much in April my ex broke up with me over the phone during quarantine literally just throwing away the whole future we had planned because he’s chosen without mentioning it to be at all to go to a different country for Uni and he wanted to have “a fun summer” without depression of having us both saying goodbye. We’d been dating for fifteen months, talking for sixteen and it was a really really passionate relationship with a lot of high emotion from both parties. However, a lot of high emotion leads to volatility which is why the last six months of our relationship was really toxic and brought my mental health down to a point where I had so much anxiety I went down from 46 to 41 kilos just purely because of not eating due to stress.

Moving on, our relationship became sorta toxic because of my ex. He has a huge ego, is very competitive and we’re both really into debating. He started to make everything a competition between us and he would go off on the smallest things. Like he would call be every hour or thirty minutes when I was hanging out with friends or I wanted him to smoke hookah a little less and he broke our agreement but when I tried weed one time he went literally ballistic. No, it wasn’t an abusive relationship. The atmosphere was just... really toxic. We both were on the debate team and I kept winning while he kept losing and he always sorta resented me for that, like he felt so threatened that I was doing better than him in school... or debate... or in my personal life.

So yeah, us breaking up was a good thing but it doesn’t stop there. We really really loved each other. And love doesn’t conquer all, you know? Anyways, he broke up with me in early April and didn’t contact me for two whole months. We went from talking everyday to talking zero times in two months. However, the next time we did meet he proposed a meeting under the guise of he needed to get his stuff. So he shows up at my house, gets his stuff and then stays for three hours pleading and saying like he made a mistake, a rash mistake and I kinda told him... no. And honestly it was the hardest thing I ever had to do because we still loved each other so much but he hadn’t changed at all. So, that following week, we had a house party for graduating seniors. The entire night, he made out with one of my friends in front of me because he wanted to make sure I had a really shitty night. And yeah... it wasn’t nice. But I had a lot of guys trying to get with me and, we’ll, his best friend of ten years was one of them. His best friend made a move and I owed nothing to my ex so I went with it, we’re friends after all.

He isn’t really close with his best friend anymore because he’s really jealous and hurt his best friend did that. Which I understand but at the end of the day... all his friends were pissed at him at this party because he kept getting jealous whenever I was with a guy and just staying in my own lane even tho HE broke up with me and shit over the phone... The following week at another party that he wasn’t invited to, he removed me from our last media of contact we still had each other on and I didn’t hear from him for another month and a half.

Flash to my birthday. August 3. It’s 1 am and he called me out of the blue wishing me a happy birthday. I really wasn’t... thrilled. At this point I was finally okay. I had moved on mentally (of course your heart still stays with the people you once loved), I had a great friend group around me, I finally was able to start gifing and writing again because I felt really... happy. Really good about myself. Like the best I’ve felt about myself in like a decade. I even got my weight up to 45 kilos after going on a diet to gain weight! And my ex’s entire phone call I was speaking so strong but my fucking body was shaking so hard. I know it sounds stupid but I was so fucking scared because I had finally rebuilt myself and I knew this person would have the power to bring me right back down.

On my birthday, we saw each other. We hung out at his house, I spent the night. He looked so fucking miserable. He had so much guilt and regret over what he did to me in his eyes but it seemed like he spent the entire day just trying to make it up to me. It broke my fucking heart because he kept asking me to be more affectionate and I told him no, he’s not my boyfriend and after all he did, he doesn’t deserve it. He would kinda try to... play the field. As in he would say things like “I love you” and then see my reaction and then base his next action off of that reaction. He said “I love you”, I made a face, and he played it off like a joke. He was trying to take the upper hand as usual but I didn’t let him. When I left he told me if I ever wanted to hang out, we could.

I didn’t take that too seriously but my dad left for a few days last week so my brother invited a friend and I invited my ex just to drink and have a good time. At the end of the day, my ex said we’re friends even tho he’s the one who cut me off. My ex’s problem is that he really wants desperately he get back together, to be together again because he still loves me but I don’t want that to happen. Maybe in the future when he’s a changed and better person but for now like... no. Even tho it really hurts. Anyways we had a perfect night. I basically left loose and told him all that he did wrong... that what he did really hurt me... that he’s selfish, unkind and takes people for granted. I told him I pitied him because he sees the world so negatively when there is so much beauty around him. He didn’t try and argue... he just got really sad and told me he understood. He also told me he loved me and didn’t take it back. His eyes looked so fucking crushed because he knew how badly he fucked up. He was throwing compliments about my to my brother, he couldn’t keep his hands off me and when he held me, his fist would clench in my shirt like he was desperately trying to keep hold of me.

We’re essentially just two people who understand that he has to go through a lot of change before we can ever be right for each other again. We love each other so much but even he admitted... he’s just not right for me and he’s not good. He wants to change but he just doesn’t know how, how he’s acted is really all that he knows. Anyways... he spent the night and I kinda knew it was going to be the last time we see each other for months, maybe years, maybe a decade. And he just layed in bed like he really really didn’t want to have to go even though he knew he was going to have to. That’s it. We left on good terms. He’s still in love with me.

To answer your question, for the first time in a long time and I’m just going to be honest. I’m not okay. I’m really not okay. He’s right, he’s not good for me. But it really sucks that his selfish actions and his decisions just did that... to us. I will always love him but I’m not in love with him anymore. We click so well, and we’ve both never found another person whether family, friend or more intimate that we’ve each clicked for. Who knows... maybe one days I’ll meet a better version of him and I’ll take him back when I see he’s more mature and changed. But for now... I was okay until this month when he just decided to slip back into my life. And it doesn’t feel fair. It doesn’t feel fucking fair that I rebuilt myself and I was doing the best I ever had just for him to come back into my life and remind me of his presence.

It’s not like I had forgotten about things like how his hair feels, his accent, his scent or his mannerisms... I hadn’t. Him being around just reminded me of them. And I was doing so well. I had truly moved on mentally in life and was doing the best I ever had. I cry maybe once a year... and now I’m crying literally five times a day because I miss him so much and it hurts having to realize that we’re both strangers who are going to live completely separate lives. It hurts so bad I can’t even explain it really and the writer in me just doesn’t idk.

I’m really sorry for his rant. I have a lot on my chest. I really really am not doing okay. I basically went back two months recovery, back to a point where I can barely get myself to do anything and I just feel really hurt. Its not the worst thing that ever happened to me... but I lost my best friend and a boyfriend, a person I loved so fucking dearly and had all those passionate cliche movie first loved with. It’s the worst thing too knowing that we both still love each other so much but we know it’s not right. It’s not right for us. I can’t be there to help him along the way and he needs to find himself and his own path in life. Love doesn’t conquer all but I think that’s okay. You know? I have to delete a good quali lap for a chance at a great one. I was really looking forward to going to college, starting over and getting out of this city full of memories... but I can’t because my Uni is online first semester so I’m still here. Again... sorry for the rant.

#flood pressles box #sincerely anonymous #personal presley

1 note · View note

allisondraste · 5 years

Text

Temperance (23/?)

Pairing: Nathaniel Howe/ Female, Non-HoF Cousland

Story Summary: Nathaniel and Elissa were childhood friends, but time and distance tore them apart. In the aftermath of the Fifth Blight, and Ferelden’s Civil War, both Elissa and Nathaniel must attempt reconstruct their tattered lives. As a series of events lead them to be reunited, both are reminded of so many years ago when things were much simpler.

Chapter Summary: After nine years apart, Liss finally sees Nathaniel again. She only wishes that it were under different circumstances.

First Chapter Previous Chapter [AO3 LINK]

Fereldan Countryside, 9:31 Dragon

“I suppose I owe you an explanation, an apology,” Alistair announced suddenly, breaking the oppressive silence that stretched endlessly between he and Liss ever since they left Highever, “Both, maybe?”

Liss sighed. Days of navigating treacherous emotional terrain first with the kiss, her traumatic return home, and the resurgence of whatever it was she felt for Nathaniel, left her nearly numb. It had been nice to see Fergus and to hear his dumb brother advice that wasn’t actually so dumb. Still, nothing would change the fact that Highever felt more like a graveyard than a home. She was tired, and she didn’t really want to talk about anything, especially not her now complicated relationship with Alistair.

“Not anymore than I owe you,” she replied, fingers tightening around the reins in her hand.

“Call it even then?” He raised his eyebrows, grinning in what she knew to be feigned hopefulness.

“I don’t think that’s how this works.”

“I’m not sure how any of this is supposed to work,” he grumbled, “If the past few months haven’t been a testament to that, then nothing is.”

“You’re being too hard on yourself,” Liss asserted.

“Am I?” There was a bite, an annoyance in his voice that stung, though it wasn’t directed at her. He was quiet for a moment and then he sighed. “I haven’t exactly been honest with you about my relationship with the Warden-Comm— with Lucia.”

He said her name as if it were a prayer, all previous anger toward her drained from his voice, leaving only a somber reverence. It was how Oriana’s name sounded when Fergus talked about her now. Liss’ heart ached, guilt throbbing in her chest. How had she not seen it before? How had she not realized? Alistair wasn’t just heartbroken. He was grieving.

“You love her,” she said, offering him a small smile when he darted his eyes to her. “You didn’t have to tell me that.”

“That obvious, huh?” He laughed and shook his head, a pained expression crossing his face.

Liss watched him for a minute before speaking again. “Why did she leave?”

“The Blight took its toll, in more ways than either of us expected. She dealt with it the only way she knew how… I guess.” He shrugged. “I just wish, well, I don’t know what I wish. I miss her. I want to see her again and I don’t know how she feels, or if—”

He choked, his voice raw and jaw set. The poor man. She did not need to imagine how he felt because she knew, something she’d very vocally acknowledged in her outburst on the way to Highever. She cared for Alistair, and she never meant to cause him more pain.

“I’m sorry I kissed you,” she stated firmly, eyes trained on the road ahead, too ashamed to see his reaction, “It was selfish and inconsiderate. I knew better. It’s just that… it felt good to not feel so alone.”

“Liss, you really don’t have to apologize for that. I had just as much of a part in what happened as you did, and I could have stopped it at any time.” Alistair let out a heavy sigh and continued. “It was lovely. You’re lovely, but—”

“But I’m not her.” Liss turned her head to face him, smirking. “Nobody will ever be her.”

“I’m so sorry if I hurt you.”

She shook her head. “Not hurt. Just embarrassed, but that will go away with time, I think.”

“I hope we can still be friends, in spite of, well… everything.” He smiled that crooked smile of his and exhaled a shaky breath.

“If I’m honest, I’d be happy to pretend it never happened,” she said, laughing more nervously than she would have liked. Alistair just smiled and nodded affirmatively.

Having shed some of the weight from their shoulders, the remainder of the return trip to Denerim passed by quickly. Conversation flowed easily between Liss and Alistair once again, filling the air between them with banter and laughter, the things she’d always appreciated the most from him. It was early evening when they reached the city, tired horses and tireder bodies welcoming the end of the journey that felt much longer than it actually was. They had been away for days, and yet it felt like a lifetime.

Once the horses were handed off to servants to be stabled, Liss and Alistair made their way inside the palace, and into the vestibule that led into numerous hallways, including the throne room. As had become their custom in the months that they had both lived in the castle, they stopped in the vestibule to say their good evenings. The air between them was awkward, stiffer than it had ever been, even when they just met. Alistair scratched the back of his head and Liss turned her gaze to the ground.

“Well, this is—“ Liss began, but was interrupted as Alistair hugged her abruptly, squeezing almost too tightly. She wrapped her arms around him in return.

“Thank you, Liss,” he said softly, “For everything.”

“I haven’t done anything except make a fool of myself,” she laughed and pulled back to look at him.

“You helped me feel better when I would have been perfectly comfortable pouting and hating myself,” he admitted, “You have been a good friend.”

“So have you.” Liss smiled briefly and moved to place a brief, chaste kiss on his lips. Alistair’s cheeks flushed a bit, but he smiled warmly nonetheless.

Then, he jumped, body tensing at a loud clatter at the opposite end of the room, the sound of glass shattering. Before Liss could even look to see what had made the sound, he tore himself away from her abruptly and her heart sank. His eyes were fixed on the far side of the room, wide and watering, fists clenched at his side. She followed his gaze to a dark-haired woman dressed in armor she knew to belong to the Grey Wardens. Even at a distance, she looked so tired and sad.

“Luce,” Alistair muttered, breathlessly, but the woman didn’t say anything. The Commander of the Grey had impeccable timing.

“Oy,” Liss remarked, “This looks bad.”

It was then that she shifted her gaze from Lucia to the Warden who knelt beside her, deliberately focused on picking up the shards of glass from the floor, as if it were his solemn duty. He had familiar dark hair that hung around his face, hiding his features. It was probably ridiculous that she recognized him by the top of his head. Were it anyone else she probably couldn’t have. Nathaniel was different.

She took a few steps forward tilting her head in an effort to get a better look at his face, just to be certain.

“Nate,” she asked, stomach twisting into knots. He looked up at her immediately, as if he’d been waiting for her to say something. Knowing him, he probably had.

He smiled at her so gently she thought she might break, dropped the glass shards he’d been holding, and stood up.

“Hi, Liss.”

Stubborn tears welled in her eyes as she fought the overwhelming urge to run to him. She should be angry with him for never writing and for showing up now, so casual as if there weren’t nine years between them, as if nothing had changed. Everything had changed. He had never written to her. There were nine years between them now, and yet she still wanted to run to him, to feel his arms around her, comforting her as he always had.

So she did. She ran to him, tears breaking free and falling from her eyes as she threw her arms around his neck. He didn’t flinch or stiffen up as she expected him to, but simply took a step back so as to not fall down from the force and suddenness of the embrace, and wrapped his arms around her just as tightly.

Liss buried her face into the curve between his neck and shoulder, and the rest of the world fell away. There was no Denerim, no palace, no Alistair or Lucia staring in confused silence as she knew they had to be. There was only her and Nate, together in the same room for the first time in entirely too long.

After a brief moment, Nate cleared his throat and began to pull away from her. She prepared to be hurt, but when she looked up at him, he had turned his head to look at Lucia, her tired eyes asking him for something she didn’t say aloud.

Liss glanced back at Alistair who smiled sadly. Embarrassment poured over her and her cheeks burned hot. Maker, she had kissed Alistair just as Lucia and Nate walked in, hadn’t she? They’d seen and now she had just thrown herself into Nate’s arms. Damn her and her stupid impulsivity. She thought the guilt might strangle her, and then Nate tugged at her arm.

“I’m going to go—“ he hesitated— “Replace these flasks before the apothecary closes. Do you want to come?”

Liss met his gaze, then looked between Lucia and Alistair before looking back at Nate and nodding. “Yes, please.”

Nate nodded at Lucia and turned to open the door, holding it open for Liss to walk through, before following behind her.

“The apothecary, huh,” Liss asked as they walked out into the courtyard, “You know, I just read a book about an apothecary who falls in love with a beautiful Templar.”

“We don’t actually have to go to the apothecary… unless you want to,” Nate said with a smirk, ignoring her comment about the book, “I just figured the Commander and Alistair might need some privacy to talk.”

“The vestibule is not exactly private.”

“No,” he sighed, eyes pointed at her like daggers, “It isn’t.”

“Right.” She brought her hands to her face and dropped her head. “I’m just going to go throw myself down a well.”

To her surprise, Nate laughed, and she gathered the courage to look at him again. His eyes were closed and he shook his head. “Please don’t.”

“No, no, really it’ll be best for everyone,” she said with a laugh even though it didn’t feel quite as funny as she hoped. The lump in her throat wasn’t helping. Nor were the tears that had returned to her eyes. Damn it.

Nate touched her shoulder and she looked up at him, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She took a deep breath and attempted to compose herself. It would be so easy to break down into a mess of tears, to spill her guts to him, but this was not how she wanted their reunion to be.

“I’m sorry. I am quite a mess,” she explained, sniffing a bit. “I just got back from Highever, and—“

“You don’t have to apologize.”

“But—“

“I spent months thinking you were dead, that Father—,” he trailed off — “It is good to see you. Mess or not.”

“It’s good to see you, too,” she replied.

Nate inhaled deeply, and looked out toward the city. “We have quite a bit to discuss, don’t we?”

“Mhmm.”

“Are you up for a drink?” He turned to look at her.

“I’m up for several,” Liss remarked dryly.

“Me too,” Nate admitted with a sigh. “Which tavern shall we grace with our presence then?”

A smile twitched on her lips and she waved for him to follow her down into the Market District. There were several taverns in town, but The Gnawed Noble had become Liss’ personal favorite, especially since the Landsmeet ended, and all of the disgruntled nobility left with it. The tavern was closest to the palace and right at the heart of the market, and it was particularly clean compared to some of the other places. It was worth the extra price for that alone.

Upon entering the tavern, a cacophony of raucous laughter, slurred conversation, and clumsily plucked lute strings filled Liss’ ears. The air inside smelled strongly of ale and sweat, but it was warm, and had plenty of distraction were she to need it. Things had never been awkward with Nate before, but they had been children the last time they spoke. She was a different person now, in many ways, and she figured that he probably was, too.

They selected a table in the back corner of the room and sat down. A barmaid approached to take their orders, and they gave them. She blushed and giggled when Nate thanked her and called her “my lady.” Liss wasn’t jealous, no, but she found the woman’s laugh grating and wished she would do her job instead of standing around and flirting with the patrons. When she finally walked away, an uncomfortable, heavy silence fell between them that somehow seemed louder than all of the noise in the tavern. Liss stared at the table intently, as if she were attempting to count the ridges in the wood.

“Liss,” Nate spoke up, grabbing her attention from the wood grain, “I know that this probably goes without saying, but I believe it is important for me to say anyway.”

“You don’t have to apologize for your father,” Liss interrupted bluntly.

“I do, and I will,” he asserted, “I may not be responsible for my father’s evil, but he’s dead, and someone should apologize for what he did.”

“You sound like Anora.”

“I’ve heard worse comparisons.” Nate paused as the maid returned and sat two large tankards, filled to the brim, down on the table. He thanked her again, and she ran her hand along his shoulder. Liss shook away the fantasy about setting her on fire with her eyes, and listened as Nate continued speaking. “I am truly sorry for what my father did to your family. I hope you know that if I had been there, I would never have let it happen. I would have died first.”

“Well,” Liss said, taking a sip of the cider in her tankard, “You weren’t there, were you?”

Nate flinched and blinked at her several times. She immediately regretted her choice of words and tone, but they were honest. She needed to be honest with him.

“I wasn’t,” Nate answered, taking a long drink from his own tankard and setting it back down, “Whether you believe me or not, I am sorry for that too. Your family was more like family to me than my own, and I loved them. I wish I had been with you all that night.”

“You shouldn’t wish that, Nate,” Liss warned him gravely, “It was a nightmare.”

“I know, and I’m sorry that you had to face it alone.”

“Stop apologizing,” Liss blurted, nearly shouting, “I’m so tired of people apologizing to me for things that have already happened. It’s a pointless waste of breath. No amount of “sorry” is going to bring my parents back. Nothing anyone says is going to make me stop seeing my nephew’s lifeless little body in my nightmares.”

“I—”

“It’s fine, Nathaniel,” she said, anger deflating and she took another drink, “It’s not your fault. I’d never blame you for something your father did. I’d just rather not talk about it right now.”

“Very well,” Nate stated sharply, the crease between his brows and set in his jaw betrayed his hurt, “What would you like to talk about?”

“Maybe it’d be good to start with catching up,” Liss offered him a gentle smile in hopes to atone for her prior harshness. “Tell me about Starkhaven, the Wardens! It all sounds so...exciting. I’m envious.”

“It is not as glamorous as you might think,” he laughed, “But I am happy to entertain you.”

They spent the next hour or so drinking as Nate shared tales of his time in the Free Marches, about the times he competed in the Grand Tourney, about the different foods and music, about what his training as a squire involved. Not glamorous? Liss begged to differ. She would have given a limb for that kind of adventure. The Wardens, however, he refused to speak much about. He mentioned how he came to be a Warden, spoke about some of his comrades, but refused to speak of much else. “Private Warden business,” whatever that meant. She decided not to prod him about it.

He was quiet for a moment, as if he was trying to gather his thoughts.

“What’s on your mind?” Liss tilted her head and he laughed uncomfortably.

“I suppose there is no tactful way to ask.”

“You’re wondering about Alistair.” She had figured she would need to explain it to him eventually.

“Yes.”

“I honestly don’t know,” she said with a sigh, “We’re friends. There have been times over the past few months where it felt like more than that, when I thought he might care for me in a different way, but I think it was just loneliness on both of our parts. I’ve always known he was still in love with Lucia. It was stupid of me to kiss him, especially earlier in the vestibule. We had already decided that we were just going to be friends. I was just being affectionate. I am an idiot, and this is why I belong in a well. That way, everyone will be safe from my errant lips.”

“‘Errant lips,’” Nate asked, laughing through his nose, “That is one way of putting it.”

“It’s not funny, Nate,” she exclaimed, “Every time I kiss someone, something terrible happens. I’m a menace to society.”

“Whatever you say, my lady,” he teased and she felt heat crawl to her cheeks.

“You don’t believe me.”

“I just don’t recall your lips bothering me,” Nate stated matter-of-factly.

“I—“ She choked. He was so much bolder than before. “Uh. Well. You did have to leave.”

Nate chuckled and shook his head. “Fair enough.”

By the time the conversation died, they had both finished their drinks. Liss’ face was warm and her head spun. She couldn’t decide if she was actually dizzy from the whirlwind of a day she’d had, or just drunk. She watched as Nate paid the barmaid, placing the coins in her hand and smiling. He looked just like he had so many years ago, only not quite as thin. He also had a ridiculous little patch of hair on his chin. It suited him, but that wasn’t going to stop her from teasing him about it later.

If there was to be a later. It dawned on her that he would eventually have to leave again. He’d have to go back to the Wardens, Alistair too, and she’d be alone again. Panic began to creepl up her spine and tighten in her chest. She bit it back clenching her fists until her nails dig into the skin of her palms. Then, a warm touch to her hand drew her out of her thoughts. She looked down to see Nate’s hand covering hers.

“Are you all right, Liss?” His pale eyes were filled with concern for her that she wished wasn’t there.

She waved a hand at him. “I’m fine. I’m just very tired, and the cider is… getting to me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She pulled her hand out from under his gently and stood up, pushing her chair in. “I just need to get some sleep, I think.”

“Let’s get back to the palace, then,” Nate said as he stood to join her.

It was later than Liss thought, when they stepped out of the tavern. The moons and stars shone brightly in the sky and Denerim was quieter than she’d ever seen it. She wondered how things had gone for Alistair and Lucia, and hoped that they would not encounter them in the hallway. She wasn’t quite ready to face the much-deserved wrath of the Hero of Ferelden.

She walked by Nate’s side, occasionally glancing over at him, if only to remind herself that he was really there. It wasn’t just her imagination. It wasn’t long before they reached the palace. They entered to find the vestibule empty and shards of glass gone, as if nothing had ever happened. They headed up a few flights of stairs and down a hallway toward the guest wing. Both of their rooms were located there, Liss realized, but were on opposite ends of the hall.

They came to her door first, and she stopped, turning to face him. “This is me.”

Nate nodded and frowned, clearly searching for words again. “I suppose this is goodnight, then.”

Liss nodded, but stayed exactly where she was, not ready to turn and enter her room. He seemed equally stuck, which offered her some comfort.

“Listen, um, thank you for this,” she said finally, “For tonight. I needed it.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, closing his mouth sharply, but then opening it back up again as if to say something. He didn’t. He must have thought better of it.

Unable to bear it any longer, Liss brought her eyes up to meet his, and took Fergus’ advice for the first time in her life. “I’ve missed you.”

“Liss,” Nate said, placing his hands on her shoulders before drawing her into an embrace. “I’ve missed you, too.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed, exhaling all of her tension against his chest and then leaned back to look up at him. His eyes watched her intently, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him, just as she had the night before he left, but she couldn’t. He had just walked in to see her kissing another man. Even if he wanted to, which she doubted, it would be in poor taste. She thought too much of him to make him feel as if she was using him for comfort.

They broke the embrace, said their goodnights, and Liss turned to enter her room, closing the door behind her. As uncertain as everything was, as uneasy as the sensation in her chest, she was so much more at ease just knowing Nate was there. He felt like home.

#dragon age #dragon age origins #dragon age awakening #nathaniel howe #nathaniel howe x cousland #cousland #howesland #temperance #update #my wrtiting

23 notes · View notes

primeadv · 5 years

Photo

SITS DOWN

PULLS OUT 10 GIANT ALBUMS :)))

(this came out way longer than I intended im so fuckgkdsdf sory)

How I feel about this character: EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I’M IN LOVE WIHT RATCHET. I love him in all iterations of Transformers because he’s always the tired, pragmatic one of the group. In contrast, he’s also almost tiredly optimistic in some ways. He won’t get out of bed, but if someone gets shot in the head he’ll spend however long and beyond to resuscitate them. There’s 2 halves to this--the me who identifies with the beating exhaustion he exudes, and the me who’s in awe that he’ll still fight his way through life. I won’t... get into each continuity...because that’s too much, so I’ll stick with probably the most unpopular version of him and that’s IDW (my impression, anyway). IDW Ratchet gets a lot of flack for being way too sour and like, maybe not selfish, but uncaring. He cares! A lot! He’s always thinking about everyone in really surprisingly thoughtful ways. Like when he’s 90% sure he’ll die due to Overlord and his last words are to promote First Aid to CMO (he’s ready!! god that’s sweet), and to give his hands to Whirl (though maybe a bit blindsided, he’s paid attention to some roots of Whirl’s trauma). Or yeah he’s hella mean to Drift in the beginning, but when Drift is dying in his arms he’s scREAMING at him “you’re gonna make it! You’re gonna be fine because I’m gonna make sure you’re gonna be fine”. He can be an asshole, but he knows the time and place. Death isn’t something to play with--he’s seen probably countless friends die, and he doesn’t want that to happen again. Even now, even after the war. So I feel very confused when ppl act like he’s this mean, cold person. He’s exTREMELY emotional. He’s probably way too invested in everyone’s lives, honestly? He interrupts a round table story for Rung just to reminisce on the veery last time he, OP, and Roller were together in the same room (not even hanging out or anything, just being together one last time. who remembers that after 5+ millions years??). He started an illegal clinic in the bad part of town because he wanted to put his skills to better use! Like! LOL. ALSO, a point that i think is unfair is that ppl think his atheism is just really mean. IT is! But I think it shows just how much of an emotional and extremely, deeply hurt person he is. It gets aggravating when he’s condescending of religion, because there’s no simple logic to it. He reacts the way he does because he’s a hurt person who’s gone through years of trauma and this is his way of coping. Is it healthy or right? Nah, but it’s humanizing. It’s why when he becomes closer to Drift he occupies this weird between space where he snarks but also tries to indulge more in perspectives outside of his own in his own dumb old tsundere way. He’s a person who believes in justice, ultimately, and religion to him doesn’t fall under justice. ALSO, can I say that his inability to say good byes is so.. like relatable? I have rly bad social anxiety, and so I’ve definitely ghosted people who’ve been nothing but really supportive for me. It’s not because I wanted to burn them, but it freaks you out needing to, not even say goodbye, but communicate with ppl. And for Ratchet--how many times was he FORCED to say good bye to friends + patients who were dying beyond his help? Maybe, if he could help it, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. And it’s tragic the times he’s just left, these were people who ended up either dying for falling astray into insanity, i.e., beyond his help. But he learns. He chases after Drift, who he actually said, in a way, good bye to (helping him off the floor after being attacked, also I should point out that a very tiny handful of people were comfortable interacting w/ Drift at all, and how much Ratchet just doesn’t give a shit abt how other ppl think abt him. he’ll help drift off the floor bc t’s the right thing to do). He says goodbye in his old dumb way--First Aid calls him out on it. ALSO his trust in First Aid is super cute. ALSO he’s like.. genuinely nice to Ten (he helped him get a date with Minimus!!!). And he’s not afraid to call out on other ppl’s bullshit (telling rodi straight you dont deserve to be captain which, at the time, was really true). He’s also SUPER smart. Also there’s that post on tumblr that pointed out that Ratchet immediately goes to deescalate conflict. He’s willing to put aside pride and anything if it means ultimately coming to a resolution where EVERYONE involved is safe. The only time he doesn’t is FUCKING OVERLORD who he rightfully, immediately, tries to briefly incapacitate to lockdown his medibay (protect patients/information). Ok I gotta stop I can go on forever just going page to page. Also, despite my love, I can totally point out his flaws. He’s grating when it’s unnecessary, he’s abhorrently bad at communicating, he’s privileged, he’s narrow-minded at times, etc. ec. But again what I love about him is that despite all that, he’ll throw his own self out the window for others’s well-being bc he genuinely, genuinellyyy cares about other people. If only he could care for himself //cries All the people I ship romantically with this character OH god... everyone. He’s my bicycle. ok look, ya’ll know I’m an intense dratchet shipper and I could literally write a god damn essay. ... here’s another essay???!! So, I’ma be real, I wasn’t a super dratchet shipper before. I wasn’t anti (i have no notps), but I was just “yeah they’re cute i guess haha”. But 99.99% the reason why I ship anything is all for super cute adorable fanart. and I kept drawing them because 1) ratchet’s my fav, 2) drift is super popular so I figured I should learn to draw him. And they became the only 2 mechs I could draw. I used to be way more into Scavengers + megarod. I used to only like 1 dratchet fanfic and that’s bc it was less romantic and more plot centric (still a fav tho). Then I kept seeing cute fanart, I would read posts by other dratchet shippers too about what makes them so nice? And I was yeah.. oh yeah. And it doesn’t help that in Lost Light, drift is CONSTANTLY by Ratchet’s side. He’s constantly checking up on him and holding him and touching him, like as if Ratchet is the thing that he needs to make sure, at all costs, is safe. In Drift’s life, Ratchet is the one who appears to him when he needs support the most but is in the most denial of it. When Drift is at the brink of death, overdosed and about to be broken apart and Orion brings him to Ratchet’s clinic. Ratchet patches him up pro-bono and tells him that he sees something special in him. like??? can you imagine how that feels? To have no one believe in you--you don’t even believe in yourself, and yet here’s this person who tells you “you’re gonna be great”. And it totally doesn’t hit Drift in anyway, at least in a way that’s tangible to him, until much later in life. Or maybe it does (hey, how do you weave character narratives when it’s been written by like 3 different ppl shrugs). And that statement means 2 different things to them. To Drift, it’s a reminder that he’s worth something, even if it’s a sliver of nearly nothing to hold onto. To Ratchet, it’s a reminder that the greatness he saw led to the deaths of thousands of people. HEY can you imagine this person you saved, patched up, tried to encourage, ended up being a mass serial killer in the future? (have you ever read Monster by Naoki Urusawa). Ended up killing people you loved? So it’s no wonder that a good part of Ratchet is absolutely mad at Drift. And I think if that was all, they probably would’ve ended up being amicable. But Drift also ended up being super religious and seeing the hand and primus in everything and oh my god is this person really waxing poetry on the value of life when he, himself, shot several bullets at me at one point? I also believe they are uncomfortably similar as they are different. The reason why they constantly butt heads is they’re two people trying to escape a past they don’t want and found complete opposite ways to cope with their losses. Drift found religion, Ratchet is gratingly pragmatic, and they see each other and go “how could this guy choose to be this way?”. I’ve heard ppl like to cite the annual as the reason why they could never work out. BUT, can I point out, that they act around each other in a way they don’t with anyone else? Drift gets SO MAD. Ratchet gets extremely talkative and incredibly personal (pulled out an electro slug from someone’s spark, holy shit that fucking traumatized you didn’t it??). They challenge each other emotionally, and it’s so fucking difficult bc they’re both extremely depressed and suffer from PTSD and would probably rather just go on their dumb space adventure and look at stars--take 2 emotionally constipated idiots and you get them. And hell no, don’t tell me Drift is in-tune with his feelings bc he’s 10000% not. He uses religion to cope with a past and life that he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to re-contextualize himself because he hates who he is. OUCHHH. And Ratchet MAKES him confront the parts of himself he hates--bc Ratchet has seen his worst traits and isn’t afraid to make him think about it. So why do they work out eventually? They realize how important they are to each other. Delphi, Drift saves Ratchet’s life while he’s barely holding onto his own because he probably feels like he owes Ratchet his own life. And that’s a huge turning point in their relationship--Ratchet sees that... Drift tries really really fucking hard. My friend Zig pointed out that post-Delphi, Drift is eating energon w/ chopsticks (what a fucking nerd), and you can see in a later panel that Ratchet (who chose to sit next to Drift) is using those chopsticks too. IT’s such a small thing, but they’re becoming closer by sharing and learning from each other. And then Drift takes the fall and leaves. And Ratchet realizes just how important Drift’s presence is in his life. I mentioned it already lol but the scene where Ratchet helps Drift up off the floor and it’s superimposed with the love message Rewind left for CD. They care about each other so much!! And Ratchet chases after him!! HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t romance, what is?? lol I kid, but it’s obvious just how important Drift’s presence meant to him. IT’s really because they became so so so close in a way that can’t be described as just friends. They deeply understand each other in really uncomfortable ways and bring out the absolute worst and absolute best in each other. And this point is where Ratchet again appears when Drift doesn’t realize he needs someone in his life. Drift thinks he can be a loner and just float aimlessly and voicelessly--hell no! He needs friends, he needs community. He NEEDs belonging, because he wants to belong somewhere. And Ratchet helps bridge him back to friends and found family. And Ratchet slowly changes the more he’s with Drift. He reads religious text and tries to brag about it bc he’s a dumb tsundere lol but he’s trying to understand Drift’s interests more even if it takes a decade and more to get there. And Drift values him for being his rock. That’s why he’s constantly making sure Ratchet is safe and unharmed, because he owes at least that much to him. And yeah they eventually fall in love because they value each other in a way they haven’t anyone else. IM EMO I CAN GO ONE, this all probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense but yeah. I’m just so soft to the fact that they’re horribly hurt people who don’t know how to redirect their pain, but by being together they come out healthier and more confident. IT’S RLY ROMANTIC IDKKK My non-romantic OTP for this character As much as I also love OpRatch, they are also great best friend platonic ship. They know each other best, they’ve been through SO MUCH together. It’s honestly a shame they barely interact in IDW bc the small tidbits we have, they obviously deeply respect each other’s opinions and deeply value the relationship they’ve had over the past millions of years. I’m also all for non-romanceOTP for dratchet because I can totally imagine they go to each other to talk about things they feel uncomfortable sharing with others (they’ve seen the absolute worst of each other afterall). My unpopular opinion about this character I don’t... think I ahve one. Some ppl view my love for his as grating lol. One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Medic spin off.

#ratchet #dratchet

138 notes · View notes

oh-beyond · 7 years

Text

Cry wolf AU - Epilogue

EXO as animals series: Sehun

The magic effect you had on your parents, loved the attention, crying wolf your most entertaining hobby, you were the brattiest brat, what happens when you find a brattier brat than you that happens to be a werewolf?

Sehun x Reader

Wolf AU/fantasy/romance/hits of smut

Masterlist

EXO hybrid series

< Part 3

"Jongdae hyung? What happened?"

"I'll explain later, Sunmi noona is in the car... puking like there's no tomorrow"

"Hyung go get her" confirmed Sehun making sure with his arms that you were well covered.

When Jongdae went out to get his mate, Sehun rushed you back to his room suggesting you change into something more decent.

"Minseok oppa's clothes were good tho how abou-"

"No!" He said closing the door behind him. You found a hoodie that finally wasn't making you look like a distressed sausage and it was long enough to just wear a pair of his boxers underneath, you opened the door and followed Sehun’s voice as he talked to his brother from outside a closed door, you cleared your throat Sehun not approving of your outfit of choice judging on how he looked at your bare legs.

“You missed the lower part”

“Sehun, stop! What is wrong with you, your brother’s girlfriend is sick move away”

You knocked lightly on the door Jongdae opening the door in panic.

“Hyung this is ____, you know my mate”

“Oh, we are so sorry for disturbing you guys, Sunmi noona is not doing very well”

“Can I see her?” you were surprised at the sudden affection you felt towards this stranger.

“Sure, I mean you are family now, I really am so sorry guys to ruin this day for you”

“Don’t worry about it we have a lifetime” you said with a smile, looking at both wolves, Jongdae felt relived that you thought this way, it was Sehun who was not all amused.

And you met Sunmi, and puking she was, Jongdae was holding onto her head and patting her back, as she was finished bringing up what it looked a full week’s worth of food.

“What horrible circumstances to meet my new sister, I’m sorry” said Sunmi after washing her face Jongdae looking extra worried.

“Don’t worry about it unni, do you need help with anything?”

“No I feel better now, I know Sehun-ah must be hating me right now”

“Nah he’ll be OK, will teach him the art of patience” you said opening the door meeting Sehun’s angry face leaning on the wall arms crossed over his chest eyebrows well knitted into a steady line.

“How is noona?”

“She looks tired maybe a stomach bug, but why are you so worried?”

“Well I just received a lovely call from my annoying brothers Chanyeol and Baekhyun, they are all coming tomorrow morning, and that means we can’t really...”

“I thought you wanted them to come back”

“Are you kidding me right now? Isn’t not hurting you too?” he said pulling you close you did feel something poking at you belly, you looked down and it was almost frightening.

“Guys I’m sorry again I feel like shit for ruining everything” said Jongdae interrupting the moment.

“No oppa don’t worry, Sehun has self-control don’t you baby?”

“Well damn does that exist with these horny wolves? Jongdae here needed to be tied up to be controlled”

“Sunmi noona~~~ ah wae~~~?”

All this talk was making Sehun extra frustrated, he was going crazy and your scent was everything he could smell.

Sumni and Jongdae had dinner, she seemed to be feeling better, you really wanted to get to know them more, but Sehun forced you to say that you were sleepy and really dragged you to his room.

“That is so rude”

“Not as rude as we haven’t even kissed yet”

“We have the rest of our lives right?”

“Yeah but it’s mating season and you are here and I can’t freaking handle it anymore, you should be feeling the same”

“I’m perfectly fine tho, don’t know what you are talking about”

“Let’s go to your cabin”

“Sehun you selfish brat, Sunmi unni, what if she gets-”

“Hyung is with her”

“OMG you are so whiny, fine” you said huffing strangely you were genuinely feeling a connection with your new sister in law, but at the same time you had to recognise that you wanted to be alone with Sehun also.

Sehun got a few few things and shoved them into his backpack, you said your goodbyes and just when you were about to leave you were welcomed by 2 noisy guys at the door.

“Sehun-ah! Your mate?” said the tallest one.

“What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to arrive tomorrow morning?”

“I lied”

“Well I don’t care” added Sehun pulling you at his chest “we need to go, we are busy”

“Ah no no no, let us meet our new dongsaeng” exclaimed Baekhyun pulling you free from Sehun.

“Baekhyun-ah! Leave her alone” you heard Junmyeon bringing his bags accompanied by the most sophisticated looking girl ever while you wore these rags, you felt so small in comparison.

Sehun sensed how uncomfortable you felt “you heard hyung leave my girl alone, we are going”

“Why so fast Sehun-ah, let us meet your jewel” said this girl as she got close.

“Haerim noona please... I really need to get going...”

“Sehun-ah didn’t mark her yet” you heard those dumb looking guys say to each other.

Sehun huffed in discontent but had no other choice but to follow you and Haerim that was bringing you back to the house.

Hours passed, Sehun was scratching his arms and neck nervously, in the other hand you had the chance to meet yet another sister in law, the meeting was pleasant for everyone except for Sehun who seemed to have developed a straight line as an eyebrow, he was mad, and Baekhyun and Chanyeol were enjoying themselves telling the you stories about how Sehun stalked you when you were in school and how hard was to stop him not to go talk to you.

“Well yeah because she was being spoiled, that is why I wanted to talk to her nothing else”

“Look who is talking Sehun, you are the most spoiled one” cooed Baekhyun.

“Guys enough” said Junmyeon firmly.

“No hyung is fine, just let them meet their mates I will be the bitch, they’ll regret what they are doing now” said Sehun with his typical satisfied tone as a smirk spread on his face.

“Anyhow what do I owe this sudden visit to? Wasn’t I supposed to be alone for the weekend?”

“You don’t want us here Sehun?”

“No I don’t, you seem all calm and cool you all smell like sex it’s driving me insane, even you 2 that seems harder for you to get the attention of any girl, you finally got lucky don’t rub it on my face, now if you’ll excuse me I’m taking my mate bec-”

“Sunmi noona! Are you alright?” exclaimed Jongdae as his mate seemed to be having yet another vomiting episode on the way.

“She’s probably just pregnant, now I’m really leaving”

“Sehun how did you know?” said Sunmi.

“Know what? You are pregnant? Noona you are pregnant?” cried Jongdae.

“Holy shit no the drama, sorry hyung to ruin it for you, well done, I guess it took a lot of practise, practise I really want to get to, get up we are leaving”

You were completely shellshocked ,really was this all he wanted?

“I don’t want to” you spatted.

“What!? Get up I said!”

“Sehun-ah! We agreed not t- Sehun! Sehun calm down!”

And you felt his canines again on your leg, he had shifted to his wolf shape and you were being dragged, you screamed and pleaded, your hand slapped the wolf just then he noticed you were crying he retracted, Junmyeon and Chanyeol holding onto him he shifted back, Baekhyun bringing the couch throw over him.

“You are an idiot! I want to go home”

“No I am sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“You bit me for the second time you freak, take me home Junmyeon oppa!”

“Listen I think it’s our fault, we actually plotted this against Sehun, we wanted to teach him a lesson because he knows no patience, I apologise please reconsider” said Junmyeon calmly.

“You what? So is this your brilliant idea? To make my mate hate me? Who of you met their mates in mating season and had her in the same place without being able...? Would you be able to survive this? Hyung this is too upsetting, like you’ve gone too far this time”

“Sehun I’m sorry you are absolutely right”

“I don’t care I still want to go home” you spatted

Sunmi and Haerim helped you get up as they looked at their mates.

“You know I have a better idea, I really think they all went overboard here, how about we teach everyone a lesson?” suggested Haerim looking at you loudly enough that everyone present could hear.

“I think that it’s a brilliant suggestion Haerim-ah” added Sunmi “what do you have in mind?”

“Well Sunmi unni how about us girls enjoy a free of annoying bugs and spend it together watching movies in my room” said Haerim looking firmly at Junmyeon noticing how his pout formed.

“I am totally up for that because I really don’t feel too well and I could get some time off from my Jongdae, don’t you like that idea Jongdae-yah?”

The guys protested as the idea of having their mates far in mating season was hard to sink in.

You followed the girls Junmyeon and Jongdae trying to make their mates change their mind but in vain, it culminated when you saw Haerim throw Junmyeon’s pillow on his face, while you watched Sunmi getting hers from Jongdae’s room.

Junmyeon’s room seemed to be the largest in the house, they had a big couch that you could use to sleep in later on, you liked this plan.

Haerim, cleaned your leg and placed a plaster on the holes Sehun did to your leg “it’s not deep, not as deep as how he’ll go when he marks you”

“I don’t want him to do that”

“You think you don’t want, it’ll come a time when you ask him to, trust me, I know, it seems too dark right now, but believe me he loves you, I feel it, he’s changed so much, I’ve only been here for a few hours but I saw the change, also don’t be too upset about his behaviour, you have no clue how much it must hurt him to have you close while the guys were bitching him, some wolves lose their minds”

“Yeah Haerim is right girl” said Sumni as she opened the door to go get some snacks.

You saw Sehun sitting on the floor arms rested on his knees looking at the floor, when the door opened he lifted his head trying to see anything of you, you kind of felt sad, he just wanted to be close to you, as the door was closing he panicked getting up quickly stoping the door from closing completely.

“Can I come in?” he said almost whispering.

“No Sehun-ah, you heard us, this is no joke”

“Noona… please”

Haerim closed the door in his face, your throat felt dry, you really wanted to be with him, but maybe this was for the best.

The night was pleasant you watched a movie full of romance, Sunmi ended up crying, you blamed it on her rollercoaster of hormones being pregnant, Haerim on the other hand was the calmest she didn't mention Junmyeon all night, but you… you were aching.

“Why are you so nervous ___?” asked Haerim.

“I don’t know it’s maybe…”

“I think it’s enough torture for both of you, how about you pretend to go to the bathroom and…”

“There’s a bathroom here” you said.

“Yes but it’s occupied” said Haerim winking.

“Alright… thanks unni”

“Go girl, good luck and again welcome to the family”

You opened the door of the room and went to the downstairs bathroom, the house was too quiet, there was no one there, but suddenly you heard howls it came from the front door, you opened the door and were welcomed by 5 wolves, you instantly recognised Sehun, the other 4 wolves entered the house leaving you alone with Sehun, you knew he was going to shift so you covered your face after that you felt some sweaty arms around you and a chest heaving heavily pressed against your face, you uncovered your face slowly and looked up meeting that sweet smile of his.

“I missed you”

“It’s been 2 hours Sehun”

“I am sorry… for earlier”

“Yeah, OK, now let me go to bed the girls don’t know I’m here with you”

“Can you please just hear me out? Let’s go to your cabin”

“I’m not sur-“

Your eyes closed automatically, he tasted good so good that you forgot the ability to punch his chest, you melted, your limbs didn’t respond to your commands, as your hands found their way to his sweaty neck your fingers pulling his damp hair, Sehun angled his head to deepen the kiss, you felt his prominent canines on your lower lip, you elected the low groans coming from his throat, you felt how he trembled under your touch he was weak, but his tongue said otherwise, it was dominant the minute he gained access to your mouth, oxygen, you needed to breath.

“Sehun!” you said breaking the kiss panting looking at his eyes full of lust and desire, he couldn’t wait for you to say what you wanted to say and you felt him bringing you close wrapping his incredibly strong long arms around your body, his nose at your neck you felt his teeth against your skin, then his tongue then his lips peppering kisses all while you herd his inhales that sounded like a melody making you drowsy “Sehun” you repeated.

“Just in case you say no, please just let me enjoy this much”

“Let’s go”

“To your cabin?”

“I don’t think I can wait that log, your room”

Sehun howled in satisfaction, he pulled the his shorts that had prepared to wear upon his arrival all while you still closed your eyes tightly.

“Well really no need for that you’ll be seeing, tasting and feeling this pretty soon, this guys over here wants to be your best friend”

Your face heated up at the thought, imagining this, this was it, the moment…

“Sehun aaaaaaaaaah, aaaaaaaaaah”

“Don’t move, you are making it harder”

“No get away from me, get off”

“You won’t feel it”

“Liar, unni said it hurts, I also don’t get why she said I’ll ask for it”

“Just-“

He bit you, he fully sank his canines on your neck, your muscles relaxed and your punching on his chest ceased, he raised himself satisfied, you were officially his and no one elses, it felt as if a drug was just injected in your veins, you could see Sehun caressing your face and that dumb gorgeous smile all while his eyes were buried in little half moons, your arms felt too heavy to lift them and slap him, was this a trick to get you in his bed, he basically could do anything he wanted right now, not that you minded in the contrary, but you wanted to be able to correspond him, was he into this kind of kink? Damn you Sehun…

You woke up sore, no not sore, more like hungover, you could hear Sehun’s… deep breaths, he wasn’t in bed with you, what the hell was he doing and where? You got up and followed the sounds, thankfully he wasn’t masturbating because that was the first thought that came into your mind, he was equality hot doing pushups, impressive was all you could think of that back as little sparkly sweat droplets formed, and that sinful sound he was making...

“Hey babe, you got up, I’m sorry, was I loud?”

“I thought you were… never mind, I guess all this energy due to a quiet night, what as disappointment Sebrat”

“What are you talking about, it was the best night ever”

“Yeah your ego all pumped up? You own me now with this bruise you muster to make really visible?”

“Pretty much yeah” he said smiling crossing his arms behind his head.

“Brat! How dare you?”

“How dare I what?”

“You are an asshole, Sebrat, what a nice plan you had for me, just mark her so his brothers see you are all that, then nothing”

“There’s plenty of time for that, why so eager?”

“I thought you were the eager one now you picture me like being the slut here”

“Shut up they’ll hear you”

“You don’t shut me up, no one ever does”

“Well spoiled little girl not in my house I will”

“I’m leaving, I guess my mom will love seeing what you did to her spoiled little girl”

Sehun didn’t think about that really he panicked, he followed you after you slammed the door behind you.

“Whoa! Nice job Sehun, it suits you dongsaeng” cooed Baekhyun.

“Sealed the deal Sehun-ah?” asked goofy Chanyeol.

“What deal? The only deal he sealed is that he’s a brat”

Baekhyun and Chanyeol cheered that statement loudly aggravating Sehun.

You knocked the door on Haerim’s and you were greeted by the all mighty sleepy bare chested Junmyeon, at least someone got lucky.

“Sorry I didn't know you guys… I though Sunmi unni would be with Haerim unni”

“Yeah, but in the end… Sehun!” exclaimed Junmyeon “congrats guys, oh that is one ugly mark, Sehun why did you…?”

“Just asking, is this normal the minute I’m in his room I’m pushed to the bed he’s on top of me making this masterpiece” you said pulling the collar of the t-shirt down exposing the full purple view.

Junmyeon gasped and covered his mouth looking at Sehun “and then?” he asked almost whispering.

“Then nothing, I am just as virgin as I was yesterday”

Junmyeon looked away at your bluntness also trying to contain that burst in laughter that was threatening to make an appearance, but in the silence of the situation the high pitch laugh of Jongdae was clearly appreciated even behind his closed door.

A few weeks passed, your relationship with your family improved, you cut your relationship with your friends and made new good ones, your siblings were being nice to you and vice versa, your life changed 180º and you had to admit it was because of Sehun, your chest actually stung every single day that passed that you didn’t see him, that brat selfish amazing mate you had that missed like crazy, arrogant and stubborn enough not to call you all this time, he lied he didn’t love you, or he did?

You found yourself driving to his house, there were many people at the porch, all his brothers you assumed, they looked at you as you parked the car his gazes confusing.

“Finally! What kind of mate are you?” said a tan boy just as gorgeous as Sehun if not more.

“Yah Jongin-ah, she doesn’t know” said Junmeyon patting your back “how are you?”

“What is he talking about?” you asked puzzled.

“Sehun is sick” he smiled.

“Sick? He never called or said anything how would I know? And why do you seem happy about it?”

“He’s… he’s lovesick”

“That brat lovesick? I don’t believe you, he could tried, he didn’t”

“He’s actually physically sick, not coping”

You stepped inside welcomed by Haerim and Sunmi, they introduced you to Dahyun who was the mate of the famous Minseok.

“And this is ___, the one and only who managed to put Sehun’s nose in the ground stepping on it claiming victory”

The girls clapped as Haerim explained the outrageous scenario of your cruelty, you smiled but deep down inside you felt bad, they pulled you to sit down but you just couldn’t delay it any longer, you sprinted to his room and heard the water of the shower running, the door was locked you turned around to find this new face Junmyeon called Jongin, he held a dark gaze and a wide smirk.

“Will you treat him well?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me! He’s one of my closest brothers, will yo-“

“Yes!”

When he heard you he pulled a paper clip out of his pocket twisting it to fit the bathroom keyhole making a click “he’s all yours” he said with a wide grin closing the door of the bedroom behind him you locked it and stripped completely without even thinking what you were doing, you opened the door to the en-suite bathroom and thanked the deep steam Sehun created as he took the waterfall on his face, when you saw him your stomach churned in excitement, you opened the door of the shower hearing how he gasped in surprise and before he turned around to recognise who was the intruder you back-hugged him hearing finally a sigh in relief.

“Spoiled little girl”

“You arrogant stubborn brat”

“I love you”

“Liar, you didn’t call”

“I was very sick”

“I’m sorry Sehun” you placed your nose and mouth on his back kissing him “I changed so much thanks to you, but I can’t seem to change for you”

Sehun turned around hugging you so tight that you felt his heartbeats on your chest, nothing was as nice as this feeling, you went on your tiptoes and brought him close “you know I never told you but you are disgustingly perfect and so good looking that you’d look good in a museum, why are you this perfect?”

“Wasn’t I deformed?”

“Of course you are, I was just trying to sweet talk my mate”

You then felt his lips on yours moving tenderly, lovingly, it felt too good, too exciting…

“I love you Sebrat”

“Don’t change for me, I love you just the way you are, I love you spoiled little girl”

______________________________

A/N: Thanks for reading, feedback always welcomed ^_^

188 notes · View notes