#even thinking about sharing my stuff is now a traumatic experience

[nordidia]

Do you think CJ and Raph ever talk about their experiences with PTSD/anxiety together or even share advice on coping? Or do you think Raph would rather not? Explain your reasoning in your essay below

(i typed an entire novel and then accidentally closed chrome and it deleted everything let me try doing this again i barely remember what i said ok so. also this is just me blabbering idk guys im not a rise writer im just some opinionated guy online and you can completely disagree with me and i dont say what goes or not ok? ok!)

i dont think raph would go to him with his issues but i think it'd defo get talked about through asking CJ about things and checking up on him etc. and i think CJ would give raph alot of insight and advice on how to deal with anxieties and traumas,, tho alot of their convos would just be one of them saying something vile and the other one going "oh. is that not normal?" and the first one looking at the latter like this

but all in all i think they'd definitely help eachother with dealing with stuff... i think especially raph will assist CJ in just taking the blow on how much there is to unpack... his entire life has been a big traumatic event, i imagine suddenly living a sustained life without having to fight for survival every day would be a lot for him to deal with, especially the confusion and grief over what he has lost (maybe what he has lost feels a bit like pointless grief to him now? which is a trauma in itself) and also grieving what he never had. as we know, grief is also things we shouldve had but never got, and i think all the hamatos would be really helpful in dealing with that.

tho CJ seems to be a bit of a hardass on stuff like this which is incredibly understandable when you've had to fight for everything with zero stability at all anywhere you went. i could see him confiding in raph about it, but not only him if im honest. but there is an undeniable security about raph i think that the characters i the show feel, and i think CJ would seek the stability and consistent reliability that raph provides.

i also like that CJ doesnt seem too scared about calling out people when they do wrong, i can defo see CJ bluntly telling raph that bad coping mechanisms is stupid and makes things worse and worries everyone around. (this is ofc hand in hand with the good ol' HC that raph bottles shit up/avoids talking abt things. personally i think he never shuts up and frequently rants about stuff and lets his family know whenever shit is up but he avoids going too deep so his family thinks he's being fully transparent when actually he's just not voicing the worst shit. this is so real to me no i do not need therapy shut u)

i definitely think raph would confide in CJ about the krang thing. CJ is the one who knows the most about it, i can see raph going to him to just get a bit more information about what was going on, and also a bit of relief hearing that it didnt go as bad as it couldve gone... CJ being experienced with krangification would absolutely soothe worries and make him feel less alone about knowing what he knows and having gone through something thats a step further than his brothers

IS THIS A GOOD ENOUGH ESSAY i have academic anxiety dont grade me please its 4am i have taken melatonin pills im on my last leg help m *ficking dies*

edit: GOODNIGHT LOL

#asks! #ohhhh raph and casey duos my beloved #rise raph #rottmnt casey jr

[evilwickedme]

I just. Ugh. Oh my God. The fucking PARALLELS this season of Good Omens. Y'all know I'm an absolute fool for a good parallel, so to get so many? I'm so well fed today

Crowley and Azira are like, the definition of soulmates of the kind that are made, you know? Like there is no one single other being in the whole of Creation that shares even a fraction of the same experiences. Six thousand years in the making, this ship is - even more according to this season !!! And YET, they are absolutely brand new. They've never been in a romantic relationship - not with each other, not with anyone - and as Crowley pointed out, they've essentially just gotten out of toxic relationships with Heaven and Hell. Except like, not really? Because we see Crowley really got out Heaven so heavily traumatized he never really put all that much stock into Hell. Yeah, Hell might've still been abusive, but Crowley was halfway out the door the whole time. Azira, tho... He still buys into all of it. He's technically out the door, but he hasn't done any of the deprogramming you need to do in order to move on (I feel like I'm mixing my metaphors a little by using cult-related languages, but also abusive relationships are essentially two person cults, so)

And this season sets this dynamic up so perfectly with Nina and Maggie!!!!! And we're supposed to think that Nina is Crowley because she's dark and broody and Maggie is Azira cause she's frankly precious but really it's the other way around and it's Nina who finishes the season being like "I can't be in a relationship right now because I still need to work on myself having just ended an incredibly toxic relationship" and it's just. Nina and Maggie don't end the season together because that's not what they need right now and bc of that they might still be able to be together later, but Crowley and Azira hold onto each other SO DAMN HARD that they end up losing each other SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE AZIRA CAN'T DO THAT SAME THING OF UNPACKING HIS BASE ASSUMPTIONS it's like leaving a cult cause they were mean to you once but still buying into the new agey stuff they used to love bomb you into joining the cult in the first place

And so that's the relationship part of things but also we've got like soo many parallels showing how broken the system is in the first place and obviously ineffable bureaucracy is what stands out here because of the literal lines coming out of various characters' mouths during this plotline but can we talk about how heavily brainwashed Muriel is and how clearly they're supposed to be exactly like a young Aziraphale, one who doesn't "have" Crowley yet!!! Like tell me that if you gave Muriel a fiery sword and told them to watch over the first ever pregnant couple in history they wouldn't give them that Goddamn sword. Nobody on either side is capable of questioning their position in life without exposure to Something Else, but it doesn't have to be like, the being you're going to run off to alpha centauri with. It could very much be a copy of The Crow Road

(sidenote, has anybody read this book? It seems like an incredibly deliberate choice but I've never heard of it! I think I might send in an ask to Neil Gaiman himself if I don't see any meta soon)

Anyway yeah um. I don't know how to end this. Parallels and shadow selves fuck (double entendre)

#ok I lied I do have Thoughts I just hadn't processed them yet #parallels are like my favorite thing #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #ineffable bureaucracy #crowley #aziraphale #good omens spoilers #gail speaks

[hajihiko]

Ahhh, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I'm curious to know what changed Hajime/Izuru's mind in the universe your art takes place in? Like, what made him go from not caring about anything because everything was boring and meaningless, to trying to enjoy life?

I don't really remember what it was in the anime, but it was probably hope. And like, that makes sense if you think about it, considering that's the definition of hope, but hope doesn't usually just happen like that, you know? Especially not to someone who probably had never felt it since the whole Ultimate Hope thing (ironically). In my mind, it's hard to imagine what it could have been, considering nothing ever phased him. I know that whatever gave him hope doesn't have to be that deep, because that's how it is sometimes, but I was wondering what you think it could have been (or more importantly, what you consider it to be in your art)!

Also, this is kinda unrelated, but I find it so cool how much your art makes me really think about the characters. It's amazing how you're able to really see how you've fleshed out the characters through you art, and honestly, you are probably one of my favourite artists because of it.

But anyway, sorry about this long and random rant 😭 Idk why I spend my time analyzing the character and point of view of fictional characters, but I guess sometimes the ADHD brain goes brrrrrr.

Thank you for sharing your art; I hope have a great day or night!

depends on the universe! But I'll assume you mean my general post-game stuff.

I've said it somewhere before so if it's old bread to you bear with me, but basically, it was a genuine dedication to face the big horrible awful feelings that come with trauma and life in general, and also the brain boost of getting to skip the slow growing part even for just a while.

My idea is that Izuru and Hajime are not two separate identities, rather, an amnesiac and horribly traumatized boy was given a moniker he didn't care to accept or deny. It's not like he had any other name to go by. That was Izuru Kamukura.

The brain has these neural pathways of how it responds to things, and his all got burnt out so he could respond with an appropriate talent each time. As a very simplified example, someone might respon to threat with the Flight response, because it worked in a dire situation and the brain decided "that saved us, this is how we will respond from now on".

Hajime, in the game, gets a sudden bump out of those pathways, enabling him to feel things properly and be fully present in his life. Thematically, the big Super Sayian moment is him deciding to not fall into old, but true and tried, brain patterns, and instead taking on the horrific experience of being human, with all the messy Emotions and Failures that comes with it.

When he wakes up from the game, he still struggles, but the artificial boost from his old thinking as well as a conscious, strenuous, painful effort to not repress himself anymore but instead face the things that he did and were done to him, make him able to carve himself into a new Him.

Not the same, in the sense that WHO could say they're the same as they were before a simulated murder game that revealed that you were a killing machine terrorist and so were your friends. But the same as in, he's Hajime Hinata and he decides what exactly that means. To want is an emotion, and he wants to become someone who can experience life fully, and chasing that single feeling of Want opens up the doors to everything else. You might've heard this before but "before you change, you have to want to change".

So in short. What enabled him to get Hopeful so to speak was the combination of a brain kick (you could call that a metaphor for outside help), and a concrete decision to try to do the difficult but right thing. Sounds kind of boring maybe, but everything else comes later - like his interest and care for his friends, an enjoyment of philosophy and the arts, a pleasure from being useful and helpful, a serenity from accepting things as they are, and a thrill that comes with strong genuine emotion (from my own life, sometimes a single moment of !!!! can carry you on for months).

Yes the whole thing is a metaphor for getting better with mental health stuff. It's personal to me okay 😂

(also I like the idea from Miggys fic that his human connections override the apathy and distance so as long as he's around the people he loves he can hold onto what keeps him going)

I love thinking about and building on characters too! Spending tons of time inspecting them like a specimen 🤝 people (and therefore characters) are very interesting to me so I just like rolling them around my brain. Thank you for your interest and kind words!

#not an art #Talky talky #Hioe this answer suffices

[menacing-menace-rat]

Heya! Just saw your post so I hope you don't mind my fluff related somewhat crossover of Batman and Moon Knight:

In this random AU, Bruce Wayne witnessing the death of his parents was such a traumatic moment that it would spiral to give him DID (his extra personalities being Steven Grant and Jake Lockley from Moon Knight).

Now in present time, each character of the batfamily (of your choice) while doing something together (maybe training perhaps) can't help but each remember fondly about the first time meeting Bruce and eventually finding out and meeting his other personalities as well and how much it was quite a surprise. They even each tell their most fondest memories with Bruce, Steven or Jake, by the end, they don't realize that Bruce Wayne has came back, smiling with Steven Grant and Jake Lockley also feeling happy.

Hope that's okay, thanks and have a great day

Hey! Okay I think I understand the request but in case I don't, feel free to ask again. I have never done cross over stuff before but I love both batman and moonknight so I'm excited to try. They really feel like they fit together so well. I can totally imagine the wild interactions between these men. Anyway without further or do here you go! 😄

        The kids were used to Bruce's changes. Most of them thought of Steven as a second dad. Jake only came out when needed but having a family seemed to mello him out almost like he felt safe with them.

        It had been a rough night for everyone. Gotham just seemed to be falling deeper into the hands of crime lords and maniacs. Dick, Jason, and Tim made their way to the kitchen for a snack before bed. 

        “Any of you catch Jake and Bruce arguing again?” Tim asked as Dick grabbed them all some cereal. 

        “Nah I got real good at tuning out their bickering. Don't take them so seriously. They will work it out.” Jason says as he shoves a whole huge spoonful cereal into his mouth. 

         “Do you guys remember a few Christmases ago when Steven and Alfred worked all morning to set up the living room for a Christmas card photo and Damien puked all over the rug?” Dick said as he finally made himself a bowl. He smiled as he remembered the look on everyone's face. There they all were dressed in their finest and poor Damien just couldn't keep it down. 

          “All I remember was the smell. I told him not to eat the ancient candy canes in the decoration box.” Tim said with a chuckle. “I thought you were going to bring up when Jake bought that bike and tried to park it in the greenhouse. I thought Bruce was going to throw that thing in the pool for a second.” Tim added. 

         “Oh my God I forgot about that!” Jason interjected as he choked down another large spoonful. “That bike was great. I think that was the first bike I ever rode. Jake can be a pain but he taught me everything I know about bikes. I hope Bruce wasn't jumping down his throat too much tonight. The guy really has a knack for taking the fun out of vigilante work.” 

         Everyone knew Jason and Jake were close. When Jason first came back from the dead Jake was the only person he'd let near him. They just understood each other. Jake was the father Jason thought he needed. 

         “Jake's alright but Steven will let me talk his ear off all day if Bruce isn't busy. I even got him into RPGs and he helped me rebuild my computer.” Tim commented finishing his bowl of cereal first.

       The boys continued talking about their shared experiences with Bruce, Steven, and Jake. It's an unconventional set up for a family but they all manage to make it work together.

       At some point Bruce realized they hadn't gotten around for bed yet so he looked in the one place he knew he'd find three teen boys, the kitchen. Sure enough they were there all sat on stools, cereal long finished. They were boisterously recounting their favorite moments with their surrogate fathers. If Steven had been in control a tear might have come to Bruce's eye.

       The sun started to rise and eventually they all went to bed. Bruce couldn't help but sleep a little sounder knowing Steven and Jake were loved by his adopted sons. He couldn't ask for a better family.

        It got a little sappy near the end but I hope you enjoyed. It was a really fun AU to write. The idea is super creative and sweet. I hope I did it justice. 💕

#batman #moon knight #steven grant #jake lockley #bruce wayne #dc comics #marvel #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #au fanfiction #fluff #asks #reqs open

[allsadnshit]

healing my relationship with femininity has been so important this past couple years and I think sometimes the way it's talked about can make it so much harder and so shameful for a lot of people to admit they struggle with because there's so much rhetoric about like "are you a girls girl or not?" and like a very black and white cold "girls who don't have girl friends are RED FLAGS! TOXIC! EVIL! TRAITORS" when I think in reality it's such an obvious sign of wounding to not be able to connect with women, whether growing up or in adulthood.

for myself it stems so largely from being raised by a single father and older brother and having my literal connection to women (my mom) severed really traumatically early in life when she passed and to fit in and be included in family things always meant having to sacrifice things I might have liked at the time like tea parties and barbie and being forced to watch action movies and male sports just to get quality time and attention in my home because they never made time for my interests as a young girl and were passively dismissive of them too (never let me pick the music cause I'd play "girlie stuff", never wanting to watch the movies I wanted to see in theaters meaning I also just didn't get to see them, having any feminine interests and hobbies be less celebrated) and it really shaped me.

somewhat naturally there was a glaring disconnect between not just myself and men who I couldn't seem to become communal with even if I shared all the same hobbies which I tried very hard to do like getting into yu gi oh and kung fu, but when I'd be put into situations with all other girls I felt isolated and clumsy because I didn't watch the same movies, didn't know how to do things like cute hair styles or braiding, and was just generally behind and felt much more like an observer than like I had any place in it.

I've always had girl friends but they were often isolated relationships with girls who also struggled with their girl relationships and were otherwise bullied or cast out, and those relationships even though sacred to me also often would become poisoned with jealousy and comparison because society pits women against each other especially growing up it felt like a literal competition and it's so common to be ranked by boys and even other girls and adults in terms of who's prettier or most desired which is really strange to apply to an already vulnerable dynamic in a formative part of life.

Because of a mix of all these bad circumstances I've really rejected myself and a lot of my natural connections to girlhood and women and I think it felt like an easier and safer route to just disconnect entirely which is what I did for most of my life until around the time of the first lock down when I was very privately buying girl clothes for the first time in years and experimenting with the idea that I'd like to allow myself some movement and fluidity with my relationship to gender. It really makes me sad the way so much of society makes us feel we need to do things a certain way or see ourselves a certain way to be living "correctly" when I think it's a very personal journey and being scorned and shamed for what we do or don't do makes us self conscious and unable to act naturally. I've gotten a lot of nasty comments from women who feel it should be easy to connect with women because they have gotten the privilege of healthy relationships with mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and friends and so feel that anyone who hasn't is just toxic and doing it to themselves which I just find extremely unkind and self interested.

and that's part of why I reject terms like "girls girl" even as I lean into healing my relationship to femininity and relationships with women and the social pressures we face. I know that term came about originally with the intention of expressing a relationship to women that was non competitive and based on mutual respect and care, but it's been transformed and used now in a really hatefully isolating way and I do not claim it or the energy towards other women it gives off of not seeing their humanity and flaws as places to grow and be loved through but as a reason to further disengage from.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

Playing with this idea for a one-shot, so it's not fully developed yet.

Whumpee protag is a young successful businessman, real alpha personality, comes across as cold and cruel. But as a minor he was sexually abused by his adopted father. When the father killed himself, whumpee took over his company as just a teenager and ran the company even better, but gets tricked, betrayed and abused by his first new business partner. As a young adult he approaches his bodyguard, his right-hand man, who's much older than him, to abuse him in very specific ways (all the ways that he was abused before). Even if he frames it as kink, it's still very uncomfortable stuff. Bodyguard is terrified and has no idea how to answer; he doesn't want to see him hurt and has been protecting him since the abusive father died. He's also afraid that if this is what the whumpee has his mind set on, he will find a way to get it, one way or another, and isn't it safer for the whumpee if the bodyguard agrees instead of him finding someone else? Bodyguard doesn't know about any of the previous abuse, but once he agrees to participate, he starts to realize what must have happened to whumpee with the business partner—under his watch. He wants revenge, he wants to apologize for his failure, he wants the whumpee to feel loved, but he rejects everything gentle and kind. Whumpee thinks the cycle is doomed to repeat, so he thinks he's taken control of the cycle.

Not sure if it should end there with the realization of why, or if they deserve some kind of happy ending. Any thoughts?

tw: mention of childhood sexual assault.

this actually reminds me a little of my own blorbo — not every single detail is similar, of course, but maybe because it reminds me of my blorbo, I’m a little biased, so the more I read your ask, the more my mind goes “oh yes, yes, this is a brilliant and fascinating trope! I love this and I wish the trope got more recognition!”

(I mean your character and my blorbo share the same childhood trauma inflicted by their adoptive fathers who are now dead. and my blorbo also turned out an asshole with money and power who’s actually very abused and traumatized, but since no one knows about what he went through as a child, they simply see him as an asshole with money and power; it’s complicated, but this isn’t about my blorbo, so I’ll just stop right here.)

as for whether your story should end with your character acknowledging his trauma or if he should get a happy ending moving forward, I’m afraid I can’t offer a precise answer to that, since I don’t have enough knowledge/information about all the little details in your story, if that makes sense? and I believe every little detail does matter when it comes to how a story should end, which direction it should go. and only the author knows that.

could he eventually heal, move on and grow from his trauma, or should his story end with him realizing he’s traumatized and is haunted by his own past?

I really believe the answer depends on how you write him. there’s no right or wrong path for your story to take, since either of these can make for a perfect ending of the story. it can also kind of… be a mixture of both? but obviously, these are just my thoughts without having enough knowledge about his character.

that being said, the advice I can give you from firsthand experience is that you don’t have to make that decision — about how your story should end — right now. more often than not, I couldn’t make a decision about which direction my story should go until I was writing it and it just felt right for my story to head towards this direction instead of the other one. so as long as you write what feels right for you and your character, you’re doing it right and are giving your character the respect and conclusion arc he deserves.

#admin answers #misunderstood protagonist #whump #writing #writer #angst #whumpblr #writeblr #writing challenge #writing inspo #writing inspiration #whump prompts #writing prompts #writing prompt #writing tropes #writing trope #whump trope #writing tip #writing tips #writing advice #whump tropes #whump prompt #prompts #prompt #tropes #trope #whump community #whump blog #writing community #writers

[yukidragon]

Sunny Day Jack - Love and Sex Headcanons

You read the title, you know what the topic is about; I’m going to be rambling off my personal headcanons for the romantic and sexual preferences of the main cast of Something’s Wrong with Sunny Day Jack. This is as it applies to my fanfics Sunshine in Hell and Sunshine in Another World, so I’ll be including my version of the MC, Alice King.

Content warnings: This fandom/game/content is for Adults Only. There is talk of sex in this post. A lot of it. I will be going into graphic detail at times, as well as touch on some serious issues on occasion, such as SA, trauma, negative body image, toxic relationships, religious guilt, homophobia, bigotry, past child abuse, sex work, and such.

While I intend to keep things mostly spicy and sweet, sometimes darker topics affect a person’s view about sex and preferences, since sex can be complicated that way. This is especially the case if a character deals with some traumatic experience that relates to their sex life/sexuality. I will try to trod lightly on the heavier topics when I can.

I must emphasize that, while I draw information from the game’s canon as shown in both versions of the demo, Sleepy Time Jack, as well as official information/art and development images/posts, ultimately these are my personal headcanons. They might not completely line up with what’s going to be canon in the final game. These are just what’s currently canon for the Sunshine in Hell continuity and what feels right to me personally when it comes to the characters.

I say currently canon since stuff changes as I develop things and play with the characters more. They’ve definitely evolved since I first played the demo. Heck, they’ve even evolved since I started working on this post due to how long it’s taken me to get this finally finished.

Since this post will be using official/development art to help illustrate my points at times, I want to give my friend Sauce full credit for their awesome art and for creating this game with all its wonderful characters and ideas in the first place.

Please consider supporting them and the rest of the SnaccPop Studios team by signing up for the official patreon. Also, consider buying a full size print of this steamy cropped piece of art with a special toy included. It would help out a lot of lovely hard working people and give you access to the many cool posts on there, as well as juicy lore tidbits. A fair number of these posts influenced my headcanons, which you’ll only be able to see if you join up. Remember, don't share anything privately posted on patreon!

While I’m at it, here’s links to the official twitter, tumblr, itch, steam, and kickstarter pages for Sunny Day Jack, which are also places where I got information and inspiration for these smutty headcanons.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur

Okay, with disclaimers, promotions, and tags out of the way, let’s get down to the spice.

…

This post won’t encompass every single thing that the characters find arousing/attractive, since there’s no way that I can think of everything for one post, but I’ll write as many kinks, desires, and preferences that come to mind.

First, let’s have some general headcanons that apply to all the main characters. None of them have a preference when it comes to gender. It doesn’t matter what’s in someone’s pants or how they identify. What matters to them is what’s in their partner’s heart and usually that’s the most attractive quality a person can have.

Consent is king! All the characters want consent from their partner/love interest, particularly enthusiastic consent. While some might be pushier than others when it comes to wanting sex/romance, at the end of the day, “no” means “NO.” Everyone’s consent matters.

Now onto the specific characters, starting with the star of the show…

Jack(tor)

Jack has two sides to him - that of the character known as Sunny Day Jack that he’s trying to embody, and that of the actor who used to be known as Joseph Cullman. While he polished the rough edges off of the persona that he presents to the world, at the end of the day, he can’t change his likes and dislikes so easily. A lot of his desires as Jack have been influenced by the desires he had as Joseph… as long as they don’t cause him to break character. There’s a level of what’s “expected” and “acceptable” for him to like as the kid friendly Sunny Day Jack, and what this naughty, naughty yandere really desires deep down inside. We can see evidence of this in his BDSM test results.

Overall, Jack is quite dominant when it comes to his sexual desires. Specifically, he’s a service top, focusing on controlling the scene with his partner’s pleasure in mind. He wants to make his partner feel his love in every sense of the word.

Jack is pansexual/panromantic. He doesn’t discriminate, and can find any sort of body type or personality attractive, but that doesn’t mean that he’s indiscriminately able to fall in love or lust with just anyone. His desire to be loved has led him to make poor choices in his past and has led to him growing attached to people who took advantage of how desperate he was to be loved.

Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are linked when it comes to Jack. He’s not going to desire someone sexually unless he’s experiencing romantic feelings towards them, so usually the two things come together at the same time.

Once Jack falls in love with someone, he is very, very loyal. It will take a lot to get him to let go of these feelings. He’s also very much the jealous type, wanting to monopolize the person he’s in love with, which results in him being fairly clingy. Though, he is willing to compromise on just how clingy he is for the sake of his partner’s wants and needs, provided that he’s not at risk of losing them. At the end of the day, he loves sincerely and wants the person he loves to be happy.

While Jack has claimed in an audio drama Q&A posted on patreon that he theoretically might be open to entering a polyamorous relationship, ultimately, what he really wants is a closed monogamous relationship. He might have lots of love in his heart to give to as many people as will accept it and him, but at the end of the day, he can’t stand the idea of losing someone who actually loves him, particularly the person he loves the most. As I’ve mentioned in past headcanon posts about Jack getting into a poly relationship, (which you can read here and here) I don’t think it would be a healthy balanced relationship between all parties if he were to go into a poly relationship, and as such I think he’s better suited to a single partner.

That isn’t to say that I don’t think Jack would refuse to have sex with someone besides his partner… provided that his partner is the one who wants him to do so. He might not want it himself, but he is willing to consent to it provided his partner is there to watch him do it. He’s willing to consent to quite a lot of things for the sake of love, even if he dislikes them or it makes him uncomfortable. After all, if he’s willing to kill for the sake of his love, there’s a lot of other unsavory things that he’ll be willing to do.

As shown in this early development art by Sauce, Jack isn’t exactly happy to encourage his rival to hurt themselves, as we see from his forced smile, but he’ll do what he must for the sake of keeping his sunshine. Even though this is technically not-canon, it has helped shape my idea of how going down this path causes damage to his psyche and isn’t something he would want if he could avoid it.

In a lot of ways, Jack is a sexual chameleon, eager to please his partner. While he is keen to try different things and experiment in the bedroom, he won’t push any kink that his partner doesn’t want or reacts badly to. Sure, he’ll attempt to convince them to give something a try when it comes to a kink that excites him if they express reluctance, and he’ll want to know what’s wrong so he can fix it or otherwise accommodate them if possible, but at the end of the day, he won’t ever force anything onto his partner. Their pleasure is his pleasure.

Jack is addicted to his partner’s love, attention, desire, pleasure, and validation above all else. This is why he thrives on hearing his partner praise him and tell him just how much they love him. Words of affirmation is his primary love language, as we’ve seen with how ready he is to shower his sunshine with words of love, and how much it meant to him that his sunshine verbally confirms that they love him.

Jack also gets excited by the idea of others seeing him being loved so much by his partner, which is where his exhibitionist kink comes in. He’s the one who is special to his sunshine, not anyone else. They can only watch with envious eyes while he shows them exactly what they’re missing out on. It’s quite a turn on to show the world just how much he’s loved, that he’s the only one special enough to be loved by his sunshine like this. Only he deserves his partner’s love, and only he can make his sunshine feel this good and loved. He would have sex in public before an audience with his sunshine if his partner consented to it, provided that it’s made clear to everyone involved that he’s the only one his partner truly loves and needs more than anyone else.

Another factor that plays into his exhibitionism is his desire not to be forgotten. His past as Joseph is full of moments where that left him feeling discarded and unlovable. The more people who focus on him, the less likely he is to be forgotten.

Cuckolding is definitely something Jack hates, at least if he’s the one being forced to watch his partner have sex with someone else. Even if other people are involved during sex, he needs to be his partner’s primary focus. If he’s the most important person to his partner, then he can at least tolerate others’ involvement. He doesn’t want to have sex with someone that he’s not in love with (or at least not strongly emotionally connected to romantically), but if it made his partner happy, he would do it for their sake… though he would need them to shower him with love and encouragement the entire time.

However, if Jack is the one cuckolding someone else, like, say, Ian… now that’s a different story. Tied to the degrader kink, Jack wants to show that he’s more worthy than others of his sunshine’s love. If his rivals are writhing in envy and can see they don’t deserve Alice like he does, well that’s pretty darn exciting. It’s why he’ll be a poor winner and make sure that all his rivals are very much aware who Alice chose instead of them.

Yes, this means that, just like Jack is going to make sure that Shaun overhears him making love to Alice (as I’ve mentioned in previous posts), he’s going to make sure Ian knows that her pretty moans are only for Jack, now and forever. While the incident with Shaun is Jack marking his territory to prevent a possible rival from getting any ideas, with Ian it’s far more personal. Jack wants to make sure Ian feels worthless and inferior to him in every way. I haven’t decided exactly how he’ll go about this, but hopefully he won’t take it too far, hahaha.

Anyway, ultimately, when it comes to involving other people besides his partner, Jack would rather have an audience rather than additional participants: they can look, listen, and envy, but they can’t touch.

At the end of the day though, his partner has a lot of sway in this matter if others are involved in their sex life… for better or for worse.

While love and sex are closely tied in Jack’s mind, he can still perform sexually without romantic attachment, though he would prefer not to. Back before he was an actor, when he was homeless after running away from home, he had to do things that he wasn’t proud of just to survive, which included performing sex acts on a transactional basis. He was used, and he knew full well that he was being used, but he did what he could to survive life on the streets.

This is part of why Jack prefers to be the one dominating. He wants control over his sexuality in a way that he couldn’t have when sex work sometimes was the only thing that kept him from starving to death. Sex workers don’t tend to be treated well by their clients, especially if they’re a homeless drifter without any support network.

Jack did attempt to find love in the past, but oftentimes he was just exploited for his body, which led to toxic relationships similar to the Tragedy of [Redacted] theory in one of my first headcanon posts. His desperate desire to be loved was unfortunately taken advantage of, which led to unpleasant experiences. Sometimes he fell for someone’s charms and actually believed that they actually cared for him, only for that person to just want a quick fuck and not a real relationship, which stomped all over his heart and made him wonder what more he could have done to “deserve” to be loved…

Once Jack became an actor, he went from being ignored to getting too much attention… and all of it shallow, just focused on his body and fame. The interview with Dan was a sore spot for him because he was used in many ways, by people who only saw him as a sex object to use then discard and not as a human who desperately wished to be loved.

This is why Jack’s feelings for Alice are so strong. Due to their connection, he can literally feel that she cares about him in a way that he never could with anyone else. With how much he’s always craved such a connection with someone, their bond has given him reassurance that he never got to experience while alive. He can feel when he pleases her and when he makes her flustered. He can tell when she’s upset and has an easier time spotting when he’s making a mistake with her. There’s security in knowing her feelings for him, and that those feelings are sincere.

The connection also allows Jack to feel what Alice is experiencing physically to some extent, which includes sexual pleasure. For a service top like him who gets off on his partner’s pleasure, it’s addicting to be able to literally feel the pleasure that he’s giving her. He knows when he’s doing well, and he can learn quickly how best to pleasure her. He wants more and more of all of these wonderful feelings this connection with Alice gives to him, so he’ll do whatever it takes to please her so that he can feel more of her love.

While Jack has a huge exhibitionist kink, and the idea of an audience watching him make love to Alice excites him, at the same time he wants to lock her up away from the rest of the world so that they can’t take her away from him. He needs her. He loves her. His very existence depends on her. What she gives him is far too precious to risk losing for any brief moment of pleasure.

As we’ve seen in this development art… Jack would prefer it if it was just him and his sunshine… forever. Between his past and being trapped in the tape, there’s a desperation to him now to not lose Alice and everything she’s given him… and woe be it to anyone who tries to take his sunshine away.

After being trapped in the tape and suffering a hellish fate for 40 years without rest, Jack has become touch starved and clingy. He was love/touch starved even before his death, but the tape made it so much worse. He would be very happy if Alice wanted to hold onto him 24/7. He views having a piece of his soul inside of Alice as similar to getting a hug from her all the time, and vice-versa with the piece of her that she gave to him. Although that piece of her soul is the most precious thing he possesses, he can’t help but be greedy and want more and more of her. He’ll take as much as she’ll give him.

As one might expect, Jack isn’t keen on being separated from Alice for too long. In the past, he could handle giving his partner space for several days if they needed it, but going a full day without his sunshine is unbearable in the present. It was especially rough in the beginning when their relationship was still new, and their connection was fragile.

It just gets so cold without his sunshine…

The sensory deprivation Jack experienced in the tape affects him as well. He’s more sensitive to stimuli than he was before. This makes him so much more aware of the world, especially what he can and can’t interact with. This is especially the case when it comes to his sunshine.

Really, a sunshine that keeps Jack at a distance would just make his neediness worse, as he literally can’t interact with anything else. Sure he can see his surroundings and respond to them, but he needs to be closer to his sunshine to interact with them, including his sunshine. If all he can touch is his sunshine for a long time, it just makes his neediness to be close to them all the worse.

Fortunately, Alice pretty much accepted Jack of being capable of touching and interacting with things right away, so it’s not as bad for him as it could have been... but let’s face it, Jack’s need for sensory stimulation is going to be pretty bad regardless.

Jack is hyper aware of everything about his sunshine - the feeling of her skin, how warm each part of her body is, how soft... All the little folds and curves. He memorizes the sensation of her fingers wrapped around his and just how small she is when he holds her in his arms, completely surrounding her.

Jack is so aware of her scent too, so very, very aware. Most of the time Alice smells of vanilla cupcakes and sugar cookies due to her shampoo and deodorant, but sometimes she puts on perfume or switches things up. He notices it right away when it changes, but most of all he notices how her distinct scent without any perfumes affects it. He’s smelled her products directly - out of curiosity he swears - but it’s not the same. It’s nice... but it’s not her.

Smelling Alice’s pillows and clothes... now there’s where he gets his hit when he can’t be close enough to breathe her in. At the start, she gave him one of her pillows that smelled just like her. She never really gets it back, and when Jack gets sneakier with slipping away to take care of himself, he brings the pillow with him. He buries his face in it as he jerks himself off to thoughts of her, imagining that he’s buried his face in her chest or between her thighs.

When Jack discovers that Alice has a pillow that she props between her legs to sleep more comfortably, he can’t help but imagine her humping that pillow imagining it’s him. She doesn’t, of course, but the fantasy gets to him, and he can’t help but be the one to enact it, imagining that he’s thrusting into where this lucky pillow usually rests. He made sure to clean it up thoroughly afterwards so she doesn’t notice, but seeing her sleep with it after that drives him crazy.

Jack knows using her pillows and clothes like that is wrong, but it’s fine, right? He’s being patient, waiting for the day that Alice is ready to do these things with him. He knows it’ll happen. He can feel how much she cares about him. With every day they get closer... and she’s slowly starting to see just how perfect they are for each other too. One day, he won’t need to settle for a pillow. One day, he’ll be thrusting his cock into all of her holes, listening to her pretty moans that are only for him.

And, well, he’s right, basically. Jack is a very, very happy man when that happens, and he makes sure Alice doesn’t regret choosing him. He’s going to make sure that she enjoys every second of their lovemaking.

Until then, Jack has his fantasies of what it’ll be like. He fantasizes about Alice on a daily basis, often lewd fantasies but sometimes wholesome and sweet like imagining them getting married. He’ll try his best to only imagine what he’s seen of of her so far without assuming what he’ll find underneath her clothes. It doesn’t matter what equipment she has after all, she’s beautiful and perfect to him just as she is. He laser focuses on every new inch of skin he sees, searing it into his mind forever and adding it to his fantasies.

Sometimes it feels to Jack as if Alice is teasing him as well. He would be convinced that she is if he couldn’t pick up on her thoughts. She’s genuinely oblivious how sexy she looks wearing only a too thin t-shirt with no bra, especially when she stretches. She doesn’t notice how her clothes ride up when she stretches or how he drinks her in when she does. He can’t help but notice just how flexible she is and imagine how he might be able to make her body bend around his in various delicious angles. Until that day though, he won’t let anything slip by his notice.

This leads into Jack’s voyeurism kink. This is pretty closely tied to the exhibitionist kink. He loves to show off his sexy body and see the desire in his partner’s eyes. He wants them to know what he has to offer, how good he can make his partner feel, and how good they make him feel. He also enjoys seeing his partner show off their body to him and watching them get off… provided that it’s not with someone else. Watching someone else make his partner moan isn’t his idea of a fun time. Sure his partner is sexy, but… it leaves him feeling insecure. What if they like the other person better? He can’t risk it. They should only be moaning because of him.

So when it comes to voyeurism, Jack would rather watch his partner get themselves off for his pleasure, preferably moaning his name or even begging him to take them. He would even enjoy watching his partner play with themselves in a deliberate effort to tease and entice him. Brat taming is something he enjoys, and making sure his partner knows who’s really in control of their pleasure as he teases them even more than they teased him is quite enticing to him.

Teasing is something that’s all in good fun, as far as Jack is concerned… as long as it remains playful of course. The degrader kink in his case isn’t done with insults like calling his partner a slut or other such degrading insults, unless they explicitly wanted him to do that of course. Rather, it’s the excitement of making his partner feel flustered and overwhelmed, even embarrassed, that’s turning him on. He knows what they’re weak against and uses it against them to leave them a blushing mess, overwhelmed by how he knows them inside and out. No one else could ever be as close to them or know them as well as he can.

An example would be Jack praising Alice for being so wet when he fingers her while she’s standing in the camera’s blind spot at Popov’s, even though she’s worried about being caught doing something so lewd at work. With how flustered she gets in general, and especially when risking getting caught by others, it can be counted as degrading to be praised for doing such a lewd act in a semi-public place. However, he is not making her feel like she’s wrong for being aroused by something she finds embarrassing.

Jack never intends to make his partner feel bad in any way. He only wants to make them feel good. Coaxing them into doing things that get them aroused and overwhelmed in a good way is exciting for him. That’s why he’s also a big fan of overstimulation and orgasm denial. He loves making his partner orgasm repeatedly and watching them come undone. If he can leave his partner a babbling mess, begging him for more or that it’s too much, while clearly enjoying every second of what he’s doing to them, he feels so needed and wanted.

Being teased can be fun as well, though Jack prefers to be teased playfully by a partner who acts a bit bratty, pushing him to work for the prize of satisfying them both. His partner proposing a challenge for him to overcome is thrilling when he can shatter their expectations and leave them totally at his mercy.

Another way Jack enjoys being teased by his partner is if they try to “escape” him, acting as prey to allow him to indulge in his predator kink and chase them down. The idea of hunting his partner, searching for them wherever they run or hide, snatching them up, and getting a good taste of his prey as his prize is delightful. Adding in a bit of bondage as well by tying up his cute little prey adds an extra thrill. Then he can tease them with praise, touch, and affection until he tames them, leaving them begging him for more.

Sure, Jack technically has a cheat mode when it comes to finding Alice due to their connection, since he can sense her wherever she is through it, but that doesn’t mean hide and seek can’t still be fun. He can just pretend that he can’t sense where she’s hiding, really heightening up the tension as he pretends to overlook her hiding spot, coming so close, putting her on edge of being found, only to pass her by. It would be a game in and of itself to tease her with the threat of almost catching her until finally he’s ready to pounce and claim his cute little prey.

Jack isn’t exactly opposed to reversing the game, with him acting as the prey, but he would quickly turn it back around on his partner. With how little control he had in his life while alive, a part of him rebels against being controlled by anyone… though his sunshine is a bit of a unique case.

Alice didn’t have to save him from hell. That was her choice. Jack might have been willing to give her anything if she saved him, but she didn’t actually want anything from him except to save him. It’s for that reason that he’ll do anything for her. He might not want to give up control, but if it was for her sake, he would let her take total control of him as long as she loves him, needs him, and never forgets him.

Really, Jack would find it cute to imagine Alice trying to hunt him down or act dominant with him in the bedroom, especially since he knows that he would soon turn the tables on her and turn her into his adorable prey. It would be more like brat taming for him in that case, teasing and tempting her until she was too flustered to continue trying to keep control, submitting to him and his love~

However, Jack only enjoys predplay if it remains play. It stops being fun if his partner is genuinely scared or in distress from the behavior. It’s the same with any kink really. A good dominant pays attention to the submissive’s comfort and needs, and he’ll be sure to satisfy all of his sunshine’s needs.

Although Jack has been shown in the test to prefer being a sadist, he’s not actually a fan of making his partner feel pain. Back when he was still alive, he could be more comfortable with various forms of mild sadism, such as spanking or hair pulling, but in the present, the idea of hurting his sunshine even in such minor ways is unthinkable. He would only be able to handle dealing out pain to his sunshine if that’s what they sincerely found pleasurable, since he would want to fulfill their needs. Of course, he would be checking in on how they’re doing a bit excessively to make sure that he never gets too tough.

Rather, the form of sadism that Jack enjoys is leaving marks on his partner’s body, particularly kiss and bite marks. It’s physical proof of his love on their skin that shows the world just how much he loves them. It’s not to the point of spilling blood or leaving a permanent scar, just leaving behind evidence of their lovemaking. It’s proof that they’re his. He’s the one who made those marks, and anyone who sees them will know his partner chose him and not them. He won’t bite unless his partner enjoys it of course. If they do, he’s going to get a taste of them and make sure it leaves a mark behind.

I mean look at this screencap. Jack really wants to be nibbling on his sunshine instead of his lip.

This is especially true in the present. Although Jack can’t stand the idea of hurting his sunshine, seeing Alice covered in hickies and bite marks makes him feel more real. He’s left irrefutable evidence of his existence on her skin, and he makes sure to adorn her in as many as she’ll allow, especially in places that she can’t easily cover up. It gives him a thrill to think that anyone who sees her would see those marks and realize that she doesn’t need them. She chose him. She’s his just as much as he’s hers. The world might not be able to see him (yet), but he’s proving that he’s real by showing the world that he’s claimed his sunshine.

Another way that Jack wants to mark his claim on his sunshine is with his cum love. Seeing his partner as a sweaty, overstimulated mess, adorned in a pearl necklace he made for them with a dripping cream pie between their legs just does it for him. He would love to make a mess of his sunshine and admire his handiwork afterwards.

This leads to Jack having a breeding kink. When he was alive, it was more mild than it is in the present. Although being a parent was a bit intimidating for him back then due to his toxic upbringing, he always hoped that he would find a loving partner and be a father someday. Granted, a breeding kink doesn’t necessarily have to lead to procreation, but simply the act of seeding his partner can be just as fun~

With the world being unable to see/hear/touch him, Jack feels more of an urge to leave his mark. Since Alice is the only one that he can interact with, that makes him want to leave his mark on her body in any way that she’ll allow. Getting her pregnant is the ultimate proof that he’s real, and even before she is ready to have kids with him, he’s fantasized about it countless times. In the past, he was thinking of siring or adopting one kid, maybe two, but in the present he wants more kids than that - as many as his sunshine will agree to. The thought of her pregnant, watching her tummy grow larger with his child drives him crazy in the best ways.

Jack is open to experimentation and trying new things, particularly at the request of his partner. He’ll do his best to accommodate his partner’s needs, whatever they might be, even if they’re not to his tastes… provided it doesn’t put them or their relationship at risk. More extreme kinks… he’ll be willing to give them a shot, but if they’re too dangerous or damaging, he’ll try to pump the brakes or at least talk about why his partner is interested in it so that they can reach a compromise that’s healthier for both of them.

As shown in the demo, Jack is very vocal in bed. He showers his partner with praise. He can talk dirty as well, though he could only swear while he was still alive. In the present, his dirty talk is mostly innuendo, as he can’t bring himself to swear anymore. Sunny Day Jack would never swear after all, it would be utterly unthinkable for a kids TV show character. If his partner wants him to degrade them by using specific insults and terms, he’ll indulge them as best as he’s able, but he’ll make sure to dish out extra praise and affection during aftercare so that he can remind them just how much they mean to him. He thinks the world of his sunshine, and he wouldn’t want to risk them actually believing that he really does think such horrible things about them.

Jack is the king of aftercare. If his partner needs anything, he’ll get it even if he’s tired. Need water or a snack? He’s on it. Need cuddles? Oh you bet he’s all over that. Need help getting cleaned up? Don’t worry, he’ll carry his partner to the bath and change the messy bedding for them. Sore? He’ll be sure to gently massage those tense muscles into submission.

Jack’s mouth isn’t just good with words. He has quite the talent for oral play. He loves using his mouth all over his partner’s body, particularly where they’re most sensitive, or where they need extra love. His favorite place to kiss, besides their lips, is their throat, as he can feel his partner’s moans vibrate against his lips, giving him that little bit of extra feedback that he’s doing a good job.

However, the sexiest part of the body for Jack is his partner’s stomach, though he loves every inch of his sunshine. A soft round tummy just does it for the guy, though all stomach shapes are lovely. He just loves having a partner who is soft and perfect for cuddling. He enjoys having a softer partner who he can protect, especially if they’re smaller than him. Caging his soft partner underneath him makes him feel secure, and he’ll keep them trapped in his arms all night long if they let him.

Jack’s favorite positions are ones where he’s facing his partner. He wants to see the expressions they make and kiss them as they make love. He favors the mating press in particular, as it allows him to penetrate his partner as deeply as possible and hit just the right spots to make them scream his name and see stars. He wants to be totally surrounded by his sunshine’s warmth and feel their love all around him.

Jack has a very high libido, so he wants to have sex as often as possible. He would want to do it every day, even multiple times a day if possible, masturbating and fantasizing about his sunshine if not. His stamina was just a bit higher than average when he was alive, but now that he’s a supernatural entity with powers, he can keep going with a very short refractory period. If his sunshine lets him, he could make love to them for hours. Of course, he’ll be considerate about the difference in their sex drives and energy levels.

Being an actor, Jack is excellent at roleplay. In fact, he might be able to get into the part too well at times. In the past, it was easier for him to get carried away with a role (which plays a part in why he’s Jack now instead of Joseph), but in the present, if he goes too far with it, that could lead to him mentally crashing back down when he realizes that he’s acting out of character for Sunny Day Jack. If he can justify Sunny Day Jack playing such a role, he doesn’t have to suffer such dissonance, so any roleplay in the present will have a bit of a primary colored tint to it.

Of course, the more relaxed Jack gets in his relationship with his sunshine, the easier it’ll be for him to slip out of character and be more himself. If these “out of character” moments never result in anything bad and his sunshine enjoys who he is when he’s at his most open and vulnerable… then maybe he’ll be able to be more comfortable acting more like himself instead of the character he wishes he was…

This is the goal for Sunshine in Hell. Although Jack is going to try his best to stay in character as Sunny Day Jack at the start, as he spends time with Alice and the two of them grow closer, he’s able to make himself more vulnerable to her, less guarded. He’s able to experiment more, indulge in the desires he has that Sunny Day Jack would never even think about. Eventually, he’ll be able to be someone who isn’t the character that he portrays, but someone comfortable in his own skin, with someone who loves him as the flawed man that he is and not as the perfect idol that he wishes he was.

I think we’ll wrap things up for Jack on that heartwarming note… especially since his entry has ballooned into 12 14 pages at this point, hahaha. I might have more thoughts in the future, but let’s show the other characters some love too, shall we?

Speaking of love, let’s talk about Jack’s sunshine, specifically my version of the MC for this erotic yandere romance game.

Alice

As I’ve mentioned before in other headcanon rambles, Alice is on the aro/ace spectrum. While she does experience horny thoughts/urges, she doesn’t actually desire someone romantically or sexually unless she’s known them for a while and has developed a bond with them. She can objectively see that someone is attractive and admire them, even feel flustered by the attention that they give to her, but these are platonic feelings. It’s only after she’s been friends with someone and opens up to them that she might develop romantic feelings for them. Even then that’s not always a guarantee. Sexual attraction then follows only after she’s made a deep romantic connection with that person, and only with that person. This would make her orientation demi-romantic, demi-sexual.

Because it takes such deep trust and closeness for Alice to fall in love with someone, when she falls in love, she falls hard… for better and for worse.

Alice is strictly monogamous. She can’t bear the idea of sharing her partner with another person, and she’ll do all she can to serve their needs to the best of her ability. She’s also fairly clingy with her partner, as her love language is primarily physical touch. She loves holding onto her partner as much as possible, playing with their hands or hair, caressing their face, nuzzling into their touch, and in general just cuddling up to them as much as they’ll allow. She can also get silly with her affection, licking or nibbling on her partner playfully if they allow her, and writing words or symbols on their skin with her finger.

Of course, Alice is careful to be gentle when nipping her partner since she has slightly larger fangs than the average person. If she bit down hard, she could draw blood with those fangs… if her partner is into that and convinces her that they really want her to do some damage of course.

Alice is only comfortable with physical touch with someone if she trusts them and has a positive connection with them. If she doesn’t have some level of trust, being touched puts her on edge, even if it’s something as casual as a pat on the back.

The part of her partner’s body that Alice finds most attractive is their chest. Big, small, flat, soft… they’re all beautiful, and she loves to bury her face into her partner’s chest and listen to their heartbeat as often as she can, feeling them breathe as she holds them close. She also enjoys hands, snuggling into them, touching them, lacing their fingers together. It makes her feel so wanted to feel her partner’s hands reaching out to hold her.

Although Alice tends to favor being more submissive in the bedroom, she’s a service bottom, wanting to make sure her partner feels good. She’s not content to be a pillow princess, just lying there and letting things happen to her. She wants to do whatever she can to make her partner feel satisfied and happy… even if that means doing things that she isn’t exactly comfortable with.

Alice struggles to reject anything that her partner suggests, even if it makes her uncomfortable. She wants so badly to be a good partner who is worthy of the person she loves, since she has self-confidence issues. A lifetime of fat shaming from many sources, including society at large, has made her hate how her body looks, and she feels ugly. This is something she struggles with and though she has been called beautiful, she can’t bring herself to really believe it when the majority of people have called her ugly. It didn’t help that she was treated as a weirdo by her peers and isolated or ignored. This has led to Alice feeling a need to “make up” for how “unattractive” she is with acts of service for her partner in the bedroom.

This has led to unfortunate incidents in her sex life. Alice pushed herself to have sex before she was ready, with a partner who didn’t know what he was doing. It was clumsy, even painful, and though she tried not to think about it, she was reminded of the SA she experienced as a teenager. This was not anyone’s fault, but ignoring the warning signs of a trauma trigger can be pretty devastating.

Needless to say, Alice and Ian’s first time was… rough, and full of apologies from both of them, along with a lot of guilt. I touched on how difficult their sex life was in previous posts before, such as this one. Sadly, their sex life played a part in why their relationship turned sour.

Sex with Ian was mostly Alice servicing him with handjobs and blowjobs, with penetrative sex coming infrequently. Unfortunately, Alice didn’t really enjoy the penetrative sex, as Ian tended to go too rough with her, and they both had the misconception that pain was always involved at the start of penetration for the person being penetrated (if not for the whole experience.) Sadly, by this point in their relationship, Alice was having a hard time voicing any complaints that might make Ian feel bad or like he was wrong in some way. She mistakenly believed that she was the problem for not really enjoying or getting off on the experience. After all, there was pleasure along with the pain, and penetrative sex was what all sex led up to, right? Was it even sex without it?

Penetrative sex is so glorified in media, that Alice believes sex is incomplete without it, as if she’s denying that full connection of love with her partner if she doesn’t do it. It might be painful, but she wants that deep connection with the person she loves. Plus, Ian would always be so eager and excited for it. She found him just so cute, and it made her feel good that he desired her so much that he couldn’t hold back. It might have been painful, but it was worth it to be the only person in the world who could drive him so crazy with desire. It was so nice of him to think of her when he wanted to try out a new technique that he was sure would make her feel good, since, ho boy, did the lady in the porn ecchi enjoy it!

Unfortunately, Alice learned over time being with Ian that getting sex techniques from porn really isn’t a good point of reference. That’s why she eventually started reading articles giving advice on sex-friendly websites to get a better sense about real sex, rather than the fictionalized version depicted in porn.

But, hey, at least Ian was happy. Alice took joy in his happiness and satisfaction, and enjoyed the cuddling they did in the afterglow the most. Cuddling, kisses, listening to his satisfied sighs, and hearing how much he loved her were what she enjoyed the most about their lovemaking.

Of course, Alice found that same satisfaction with just cuddling and a nice make out session without sex involved.

Sadly, like a lot of people with little experience, Alice is under the mistaken assumption that penetration hurts at first, but soon goes away. This is an exceedingly common trope in hentai/ecchi where the bottom, regardless of gender, always feels pain at the start of being penetrated but then pleasure makes the pain disappear at some point. It’s treated as expected in this form of media, something unavoidable that must be tolerated for the sake of enjoying sex. Heck, for some people, pain during penetration is a feature of sex, not a bug.

This is why when Alice and Jack eventually have penetrative sex, the fact that it doesn’t hurt even a little bit catches her off-guard. Not that she’ll complain, obviously. This results in making her more enthusiastic about that form of sex than she ever thought that she could be.

Alice does not enjoy pain, at all. It’s not sexy to her to be spanked, choked, insulted, or to be otherwise made uncomfortable and used. She’ll try out something that she might dislike for the sake of her partner’s kinks, and she’ll tolerate things that are painful if her partner feels good, but that doesn’t mean she’ll necessarily get much enjoyment out of the experience.

Inflicting pain or insults on her partner is something that Alice doesn’t care for either. She’s too empathetic, and the idea of doing harm to her partner, whether verbal or physical, even if they take pleasure in it, makes her feel exceedingly anxious. She prefers being gentle, sweet-talking her partner and cuddling with them.

The most Alice would want to do is playful teasing and leaving kiss marks along with gentle love bites. She could be convinced to bite harder, scratch, or spank if her partner was really into that, but she’s far too much of a marshmallow to handle any sort of hard sadism or masochism. Soft, cuddly, vanilla lovemaking full of sweet words and praise is what makes her feel happiest.

Praise is Alice’s biggest weakness. Whether it’s platonic, romantic, or sexual, she gets easily overwhelmed when she’s praised. She loves it, but struggles to accept it due to her low self-esteem. It makes her happy to know she’s doing a good job, and it encourages her to do more when it comes to pleasuring her partner.

Getting positive attention, compliments, gifts, and in general being treated special is something Alice struggles with, even with her partner. It takes her a while to really believe it. Ian actually did a world of good for her self-confidence… before he completely destroyed it when he cheated on her, making it worse than it ever was. Jack has his work cut out for him.

Alice masturbates often, but as a stress relief more than anything else. It’s less about being horny or desiring someone else and more about self-care. An orgasm can be very relaxing after a stressful day. She bought toys to help her do this more efficiently, only rarely taking time out to enjoy masturbation as anything more than a quick stress release. Of course, she finds it more fun to play with toys when she’s sharing them with her partner.

After making the connection to Jack, Alice finds her libido increasing because she is picking up on his horny feelings. It leads to many confusing moments where she wonders why she’s feeling horny out of nowhere far more often than she normally did before, and she does make the connection between those feelings and Jack… but attributes it to him just being that attractive in every sense of the word, which only further confuses her feelings towards him in the beginning.

Once Alice and Jack start having sex, her libido increases substantially due to this connection and how much she enjoys the experience. He’s so attentive to her needs and is so eager to praise her when he pleases her or she pleases him that it’s hard not to get addicted to their lovemaking sessions. While she and Ian would have sex once or twice a week on average, usually to satisfy his desires and not hers, she winds up enthusiastically wanting to have sex with Jack almost daily once they finally reach that point in their relationship.

Being restrained is a complicated kink for Alice. She’s never considered herself one for bondage, and, if anything, she doesn’t think that she’ll like it. Her SA trauma has to do with being restrained against her will, so if she feels trapped during sex, it can cause her to panic. Ian has accidentally triggered this trauma in the past.

Being held down or confined by her partner isn’t so much the issue in and of itself. Alice enjoys the security of being completely engulfed in her partner’s arms, safe and secure. There are times when she would seek it out, loving the feeling of her partner lying on top of her like a weighted blanket. It’s when they won’t let her go even when she indicates she wants them to that the discomfort immediately sets in. Although she tries to power through the feeling and remind herself that she trusts her partner and that they won’t hurt her like the people who committed SA against her, and they care about her… trauma is not always that easy to reason through.

This can be a bit of an issue when you have a partner who has a tendency to lose control of his urges and refuses to let you go or come up for air until he’s satisfied.

Needless to say, this led to moments full of guilt and apologies from both sides between Ian and Alice. This, as you might expect, was one of the big contributors to why they didn’t have sex all that often.

Restraining her partner… now that’s something Alice would be surprised to find that she enjoys. Having her partner tied up and helpless as she lovingly pays attention to their body, maybe even blindfolded so they don’t know where she’s going to touch or kiss next would be exciting.

I think I just had an idea for another short fic to write sometime. Better make a note of this for later.

Ahem, moving on… Alice isn’t one for exhibitionism. She’s a very private person overall, and with her self-esteem issues, she would rather have anything more physical than a kiss or hug be kept private. She doesn’t want to have to think or worry about other people when intimate with her partner, preferring to just focus on her beloved and the intimate moment that they’re sharing. Since she can only get sexual with someone she trusts deeply, she doesn’t want to involve other people, even as an audience.

Sadly, Jack isn’t going to be able to indulge in his exhibitionism kink to the fullest with Alice because of this. Though having sex in risky places where they could get caught is a fair compromise that she winds up enjoying way more than she ever thought she would. She wouldn’t enjoy getting caught though, and it would take a lot of coaxing to get her to try again if that happened, but fortunately Jack is a very sneaky ghost(?) who knows a few tricks to make sure that no one will interrupt when he’s showing love to his sunshine.

Alice’s favorite position is missionary. She loves being held by her partner and looking into their eyes, seeing the love they have for her and how good they’re feeling. She loves the feeling of their body on top of hers like a warm weighted blanket. She loves watching them bite their lip and strain themselves to hold on, or roll their eyes up towards the ceiling from pleasure. Watching her partner’s face and knowing that she’s the one making them feel good makes her feel good in turn. She loves it when they look at her with love and desire, like she’s the only person in the world they could ever feel this way towards.

Face to face positions in general are the ones Alice prefers, though she gets anxious about any position that puts her on top. She’s chubby, and she worries about her weight being too much for her partner. For example, if they tell her to sit on their face and that they want to be crushed by her thighs, she’ll be very skeptical that it’ll end well. It’s something that would take a lot of gentle coaxing to get her to try it, and reassurance that they enjoyed doing it afterwards.

Although Alice’s worries limits her in the amount of positions she’s interested in trying, she’s actually capable of doing a lot of them. Despite being chubby, she’s very flexible, able to do vertical splits and put her ankle around her head, to name a few. This makes yoga the ideal way for her to keep in shape. She isn’t confident enough to work out at a gym, but she doesn’t mind stretching with friends or a partner. She takes pride in her flexibility and her excellent sense of balance, not yet thinking about how this ability could be used to great effect in the bedroom.

Needless to say, those attracted to Alice can be treated to quite a show when watching her do yoga. Jack especially is eager to encourage her to exercise often and is only too happy to help her get into the harder poses. He looks up just how to do them so he knows where he can put his hands just right to help her. Before they’re lovers, it’s always so tempting for him to just “slip” and touch her someplace a bit naughtier... but he respects her consent and boundaries. He won’t touch her someplace unless she wants him to, no matter how badly he wants to put his hands and mouth on every inch of her body.

Naturally, once they become lovers, yoga sessions get a bit spicy. Alice has to wonder if Jack is really eager for her to work out to help her stay fit or if he just wants to experiment with positions. Still, it’s a very pleasurable incentive that encourages her to work out more often. It also encourages her to intentionally tease him with her stretches once she grows more confident in their physical intimacy, going into a playful back and forth that she knows is going to end up with him eventually snapping from the tension, stripping of her workout clothes and taking her against the yoga mat.

Teasing her partner and encouraging them to lose control is something Alice can appreciate. It was a bit risky when it came to Ian since when he lost control it could be painful or even suffocating, so she always had to be cautious about how far to push and be prepared for fallout. With Jack though, he’s always so mindful of her comfort no matter how wild she drives him. That allows her to just cut loose and tease him to her heart’s content, knowing that he’ll never hurt her and it’s only going to feel good.

Driving her lover into losing control over their desire makes Alice feel sexy, beautiful. She wants the person she loves and desires to need her so badly that they can’t think of anyone else. She wants to be irreplaceable. She thought that she found that with Ian, so it was worth the pain, but his cheating proved that she was mistaken. Fortunately, Jack will be all too happy to make sure she knows how special she is and how there’s no one else in the world he could ever want, need, or love more than her.

In general, Alice is very vanilla when it comes to her kinks. She favors the emotional connection between her and her partner, the love and trust they share. That’s why she can only have sex with someone if she feels like she can fully trust that person. After Ian cheated, she couldn’t have sex with him again even when he wanted it, which strained their attempts to repair their relationship and helped her realize that things had gotten too toxic between them to try and go back to the way they were.

Overall, Alice is a very uncertain lover when it comes to her own pleasure or anything that might bring discomfort to her partner. She has an easier time focusing on their pleasure and getting enjoyment out of making them feel good. It’s easy for her to forget about herself in favor of her partner’s pleasure even if she’s uncomfortable, which is why she responds better to a partner who makes sure to stay mindful of her needs during the activities rather than get distracted by their own pleasure.

Speaking of a partner who gets carried away by his own pleasure…

Ian

Ian is someone who was very sheltered by his very strict religious upbringing. In his house, sexual desires were seen as shameful. Even masturbating was treated as a sin. Though he tried not to give in to his urges, he succumbed to his desires more often than not, and it made him feel weird. He loved the pleasure he felt from masturbating and the relief it gave him, but he “knew” that he was being “sinful” by doing so, which would leave him filled with shame and guilt afterwards. This would lead to a lot of repression when it comes to his sexuality. It didn’t help that his peers treated him like a weirdo and made fun of his looks/behavior/tastes, isolating him further.

Because of his upbringing, Ian always had a clear picture of what he was supposed to do to have a successful future. He needed to find one person, get married, have kids, and have a lucrative career. His mother pushed him towards a straight relationship in particular - at least when she wasn’t crushing his spirit that finding a partner was impossible for him at all - but he couldn’t help but find guys and non-binary people attractive as well. He has a lot of crushes, both fictional and not, and he has a secret stash of various media full of many waifus, husbandos, and spousus.

Alice was one such person that Ian crushed on, but with her it was far more serious than anyone else. His feelings for his first and only childhood friend were deeper than surface level. They knew each other better than anyone. She was always there for him, supporting him, and making him feel like he wasn’t such a weirdo after all. Her being a girl had nothing to do with how hard he fell for her, though it did make him feel a little less anxious about his mom finding out about their relationship than he would have if his partner wasn’t a girl.

Ian is someone in heavy denial about his desires due to his upbringing. It’s “sinful” to lust after other people, particularly outside of a straight context according to his mother and the scriptures. It’s “sinful” to have lustful thoughts outside of marriage. Heck, even in the confines of marriage, sex is meant only for the sake of procreation. It made him feel weird about desiring people, so he convinced himself that he simply… didn’t. He went into deep denial, telling himself that people were weird, and since he didn’t know them these feelings weren’t something to think about at all. It was easier that way.

Ian knew Alice though, so she became the exception to this taboo he had been taught all his life when she became his partner. For him, it was okay to lust after his partner… at least as much as it could be with anyone. Though his mother insisted lust, even towards his partner, was only selfishly satisfying his manhood in a sinful way, society often said otherwise. Media and their peers made it seem so normal to have sexual urges and want to explore them. Even Alice insisted his feelings were normal and nothing to be ashamed about. He learned more and more about what was normal once he was out from under his mother’s influence and interacted with other people.

While Ian did learn to accept and even embrace the fact that he’s pansexual/panromantic, it’s not so easy to shake the shame related to his sexuality or sex in general thanks to his mother’s toxic influence.

At his house with his mother, even the internet was restricted. Ian didn’t get access to porn until he moved out to college, and even then, that made him feel awkward. He didn’t know how to handle these weird feelings towards strangers, since he was taught that they were sinful and risked damning him to hell. Lusting after fictional characters seemed okay though. That was just a fantasy, playing pretend. Even his mother had romance books that got pretty smutty, though she wailed into him the one time she caught him going through her stash.

This was what led to Ian having a lot of fictional crushes, anime figures, and, of course, ecchi. While the local library didn’t have straight up porn or hentai, it did have more risque manga stories in the form of ecchi, which is why he insists so hard that it’s not porn. The library would never have anything like porn, so it’s not sinful! This means it’s okay that he has a collection of it. He’s not a sinful pervert!

Ecchi has a tendency to really push the boundaries of what can be constituted as porn though, and Ian absorbed all of the sex in those pages like a sponge. The people in the book always looked to be having fun. Sex was something wild and passionate. The people lost control of their desires and enjoyed themselves in a way that he was always denied. Sex was this all-encompassing force of nature in so many stories, not just in ecchi. He was fascinated by it even as he was afraid of those feelings.

Because of this repression, Ian saw himself in these characters who lost themselves in moments of passion as they claimed their lover. This raw animalistic lust was exciting and really resonated with him. Once he started pleasuring himself and forgot about the guilt of his desires, he would lose control in a similar way. He would keep going until he was satisfied, completely losing himself in the experience… only to be hit with guilt once he came down from the high.

With Alice, Ian had an outlet for his sexual desires. She helped him see that these desires weren’t sinful, and she was eager to help him feel good. She made him feel wanted, beautiful, and sexy. With her help, like many things in his life, he gained more confidence in his sexual urges. He explored his sexuality more, both in fiction and with her, though he was far more hesitant and awkward with the latter.

What didn’t help was the mistakes Ian would make… but, in a way, he was used to making mistakes. He was always making mistakes, always blamed by his mother for just about every reason under the sun even if he didn’t actually do anything. All perceived problems were his fault and so he must apologize. Constantly.

Alice supported Ian when he felt sinful, filthy, and sad. She forgave him for his mistakes and even told him he didn’t have to apologize so much. She loved him and he loved her in return for how strong and supportive she was to him.

Ian would try to make amends for his mistakes with apologies, cuddling, and especially with gifts. His primary love language is gift giving, and thanks to the trust fund his absent dad left him, he could give gifts to those he cared about often. He gives friends and especially his partner presents. He even gives his mother presents to let her know that he still loves her despite everything and that he just wants them to actually have a good relationship… however futile that gesture might be.

Although Ian struggles to be vocal about what he wants when it comes to sex and romance, he can be pretty romantic at times… even if he’s got dirty thoughts in mind to go along with it. He knows how romantic a candle lit bedroom with a bed covered in rose petals while sexy jazz plays in the background really sets the mood. Too bad it didn’t actually work out the first time he tried it.

Sadly, Ian was hoping that if he set the mood just right, he and Alice could finally go all the way and lose their virginity to each other. Too bad the mood died a painful death when Shaun walked in instead, and it was a while before Ian got the guts to try that again… at least while Alice was still rooming with Shaun. Initiating sex with her was much easier after they moved into their own place.

I’ve gone over the reasons why I think Ian cheated in previous posts, here, here, here, and here in detail, so I won’t rehash it too deeply this post.

To sum it up - Ian was on his own for the first time in his life when he moved to the performing arts school, without anyone to support him, particularly his partner. He had grown conventionally attractive as he aged, and he was surrounded by peers who shared his interests, which gave him a taste of popularity for the first time. He was given all sorts of new and exciting experiences, meeting all sorts of people who he found attractive. He grew closer to new people, and without his partner around he grew lonely… which led him to giving in to his desires in the worst way possible.

The experience was exciting. The forbidden nature of it actually made the act more enticing due to how repressed Ian was because of his background. It was all “sinful” after all…

Like a lot of people who grew up heavily repressed by religion, Ian finds arousal in things deemed forbidden and sinful. Despite being bullied as a kid, being degraded sexually is something that turns him on. Though he protests about being teased, he enjoys it, even to the point that being called a beast or a sinful slut makes him feel aroused, though he finds such feelings confusing. He likes being commanded and punished by his partner, completely at their mercy and begging them for more.

While this would suggest Ian is a submissive, he’s actually a switch vers. It doesn’t matter who’s doing the penetrating as long as it feels good. Taking control of his partner and rutting into their holes like an animal feels just as good as being taken. He just needs to learn how to better control his urges so he can pay attention to his partner’s needs and comfort to improve taking the dominant role.

Ian is the type of person who gets lost in the pleasure of sex. Once he gets to a certain point, he starts losing his inhibitions, getting more vocal and needy. He’ll praise his partner and beg for more even when he’s the one dominating, growing increasingly needier as the pleasure grows more intense.

The part of the body Ian finds most attractive is the ass. More than once he’s had thoughts of slapping or squeezing his partner’s ass, but was too shy to give into the urge except when actively engaging in sex. Because of this, his favorite position is doggy style, as we can see in this very NSFW picture by Sauce. He loves the way his partner’s ass bounces with each thrust, and he’ll add to the jiggle with the occasional slap once he loses himself in the moment. As he grows more confident in his desires and represses himself less, he’ll consciously want to explore the kink of spanking.

Bondage, both giving and receiving, is something that Ian would want to try, along with some other kinks, but he doesn’t have the courage to initiate it at this time. In general, he struggles to initiate anything related to sex, as that ties into the guilt and shame that was hammered into his upbringing. However, it’s fairly easy for him to get aroused, which would serve as an unintentional way to initiate sex more often than not.

Being an actor, Ian would thrive with roleplay in the bedroom. It would help him pretend to be someone else, someone more confident and lustful. It could help him lose himself in the moment rather than get caught up in his own doubts and insecurities.

Ian struggles with accepting his own sexual desires, which makes it harder for him to communicate with his partner about his needs. This leads to him taking cues from ecchi on what to do, not checking in with his partner like he should, and getting lost in the moment, letting the urges take him where he wants to go. Once he accepts himself as a sexual being and that it’s healthy to feel these desires, his communication difficulties with his partner should improve.

Having a partner who takes the lead is probably ideal for Ian. Being told what to do is something he’s used to, and he feels more confident with guidance. He worries about making mistakes, but if he’s guided through the scene by his partner, he has less reason to worry. In a way, being so good at taking direction is why he makes an excellent actor.

Speaking of direction, how about we switch over to the next love interest on the list?

Shaun

Shaun has a bit of a wild side when it comes to sex. He loves kitten play, both being the kitten and being the master of a sweet sexy kitten. He’ll put his partner in cat ears, a tail with a butt plug, and a collar with a leash if they let him, and he’ll be open to doing the same in return.

Biting and scratching is another one of his kinks, with some minor sadism and masochism. Spanking, bondage, blindfolds… Shaun is eager to explore unconventional means of having sex.

Shaun’s favorite part of the body is thighs. He’ll happily die suffocated by his partner’s thighs. Lying down with his head in his partner’s lap will make him purr. He’ll wear their thighs as earmuffs and bend them back as he pleases, paying extra attention kissing, licking, biting, and raking his fingernails across them.

Then, of course, there’s thigh-high fishnet stockings. Wear a pair of these, especially when accented with a garter belt, and Shaun turns into a puddle of horny goo, especially if they’re worn by his partner/crush, as shown in this steamy picture by Sauce.

To be fair, this is a very spicy sight. Shaun is a man of taste.

Overall, Shaun is a dominant vers, but he’s willing to submit and be a good kitty… eventually. Cats do what they want after all, and it’s going to take a little more than some ear scritches to get this cat daddy to submit to his partner, which is part of the fun.

Speaking of which, Shaun has a daddy kink. If his partner can be a good little kitten and let daddy pet and play with them as he pleases, he’ll be a very happy cat daddy.

While Shaun leans towards monogamy, he’s actually open to joining a poly relationship if the right people came along. He actually considered what it might be like to enter a relationship with both Alice and Ian, but he found that his vibes just didn’t mesh with Ian at all, and not just because Ian’s taste in anime is trash. He just never felt attracted to Ian like he did with Alice, and they never really connected like he did with her.

Shaun got a crush on Alice while they were taking the same class in college. He met her well before he ever knew Ian. They sat next to each other in class and wound up chatting often. They had stuff in common like horror movies, enjoying goth aesthetic, and being silly goobers who joke around with their friends. They’re also the mom/dad friend types taking care of their friend group. She was just so kind and sweet that he couldn’t help but fall hard for her.

It’s a shame that when Shaun finally gathered up the courage to ask Alice out, she casually mentioned that she was meeting with her boyfriend, breaking the poor guy’s heart.

Poor Shaun. Alice had no idea that he was asking her out on a lunch date instead of just going to grab a bite as friends. She missed all the signals he sent her way.

After that, Shaun tried hard not to think about his crush on Alice. He tried to just be there for her as a friend and move on from his romantic feelings, if only for the sake of their friendship. It was just hard when they had so much in common and had such good chemistry… and he couldn’t help but notice some troubling red flags in her relationship with Ian.

It never really seemed to be the right time for Shaun to try to get together with Alice. First it was because she was already in a relationship. Then she had been cheated on and needed a friend rather than someone who would take advantage of her in her most vulnerable moment. She was still in love with Ian even after the breakup, and wasn’t receptive to anyone else romantically for a long time.

Throughout knowing Alice, Shaun has dated other people. He’s had other crushes and tried to get into relationships, some more serious than others, but none have really worked out so far. He has yet to find someone who clicks with him the way that she does. Hopefully one day that might change. He had hoped that when he went off to another college that the distance would allow him to let go of his romantic feelings.

Sadly, a part of Shaun still couldn’t shake the small hope that maybe someday the stars would align and things could work out between them. Coming back to see Alice again just made all the feelings he thought he got over come rushing back… only for his heart to be crushed again when he finds out that once again she has a boyfriend who isn’t him…

Poor Shaun has it rough. I feel so bad for him. This is why I struggle with writing love triangles, hahaha. Still, I’m going with the headcanon that he does find love with someone eventually, someone who he is glad finally came into his life who he just can’t live without. I don’t have a specific character in mind for that role just yet, but I do have a few possibilities that I’m playing around with…

With that said, let’s move on to the fourth and final love interest.

Nick

I’m still indecisive on Nick’s view on love at this point, beyond his crush on the cute cashier at the circus-themed frozen yogurt shop. I’m tempted to have him be a stalker yandere like I talked about in an earlier theory about all the love interests being yandere, but also I’m tempted to go with the angle of him being a sex worker who just wants someone to love him for himself and not simply see him for what he does online.

I’ll probably get a better idea of which direction I want to go with Nick eventually. After all, the audio drama for him on patreon did influence some of my headcanons for him.

Maybe I’ll go with a combination of the two extremes. It would be hilarious that a yandere stalker dom finds himself tongue-tied in front of his crush despite working as an online influencer, rather than it just being a shy mask to get the object of his affection to lower their guard. Hmm…

Regardless of which direction I choose, Nick flirting with Alice at her job didn’t earn him any favors when it came to winning her heart. If anything it made her more on guard around him and lessened his chances of getting closer with her. It’s nothing personal against him, but being hit on while she’s at work makes her feel like she’s trapped, since she can’t leave, and she has no choice but to be polite to customers no matter what happens.

While I don’t have too many love-based headcanons really solidified in my head yet when it comes to Nick, I do see his primary love language as quality time. He’ll make time for those who he cares for, no matter how packed his schedule is, and he appreciates the same from them in return.

Since we’re shy on the romantic headcanons for Nick, let’s just go right to the spice. As we see in his profile, he’s an influencer by day and a dom by night. The audio drama shows him with a very dominating and flirty personality, at least when it comes to his audience. He runs an online streaming show where he talks sweet and dirty to his viewers live on camera. He also takes requests, which vary on the donation tiers. Those requests usually involve dirty talk, exposing himself, using toys on his body, and such. He has quite a lot of subscribers on lonelyfans, and most popular are his private one-on-one shows with a special lucky viewer on rare occasions.

Nick is big into exhibitionism. He shows off his body without shame and enjoys the attention he gets from his audience. He absolutely loves to talk dirty and see how it affects people. He’s good at painting a picture in his audience’s heads with a lewd description, and he gets off on the idea that he’s driving so many of his viewers crazy with lust.

While Nick does want someone to love him as a person, he also wants to be an object of desire for many people. He enjoys his job as a sex worker and the attention he gets online as a sexy dom with his lonelyfans account. Even if he was in a relationship, he would still do his lewd performances before the camera… and maybe he’ll have a special guest star or two on his show if he’s lucky. He would love to convince his romantic partner to join him on camera and dominate them before his large audience, maybe even take the viewers’ requests to decide what he’ll do to his partner next.

Although Nick is looking to join a relationship with just one person, he’s not against the idea of entering a poly relationship, or even participating in an orgy. After all, the more the merrier, right?

Just like on his live shows, Nick is a dominant in bed. He might be shy in casual settings, but he takes control of the scene when with a partner. He’s the one setting the pace, wanting to make his partner beg him and say what exactly they want. He experiments with the kinkier side of BDSM too, such as bondage, candles, and all sorts of toys that can leave a mark on skin and make his partner scream for him.

Nick is very experienced as a dom. He knows how to practice proper BDSM safety and take care of his partner(s) afterward. He can be soft during aftercare, and he knows the benefits of cuddle time. After all, he has a couple fur babies to take care of, and Pico and Cheese make excellent cuddle companions.

I think I’ll finish up Nick’s headcanons with this final spicy tidbit. As we’ve seen in teaser art, Nick has tongue and nipple piercings. I also headcanon that he has a jacob’s ladder piercing. I won’t describe what that is here, but if you know, you know.

I’ve heard that there are people who enjoy the feeling of piercings on sensitive areas, and Nick is one of them.

Conclusion

That’s about all that I can think of at the moment when it comes to my general love/sex headcanons for the main cast. I hope you all enjoyed my thoughts about what turn these five on and what they look for when it comes to relationships.

Though I suspect that when the full release of the game comes out, we’re going to discover that the male leads are probably going to be a lot kinkier than a vanilla aro/ace like me can headcanon up. Just a hunch. ;)

If you are hungry for more smut involving these characters, then you might be interested in checking out Sunshine in Hell or Sunshine in Another World. Those stories are rated as explicit for a reason, and there’s only going to have more scenes of smut to come. I’ve got plenty of rough drafts in the writing tag that I need to finish polishing and post on AO3 after all.

If you like my stories and ideas, please let me know what you think! I absolutely adore all kinds of feedback. It really helps fuel my creativity. Thank you for reading and I hope that you enjoyed reading this huge collection of sugar and spice!

EDIT: Holy crap the timing. I finished this list at the same time as a new incredibly spicy audio drama for Jack dropped on patreon. Join the $5 tier if you want to give it a listen. It’s so, so good and well worth it.

It did disprove that Jack is incapable or cursing or that he would call his sunshine a slut unprompted... but I’m going to stick with that headcanon for the Sunshine in Hell telling of the story anyway. Though eventually he will be able to get pretty spicy with his language the more he loosens up.

The drama also reminded me of a couple things that I left out. I’ve added a few more headcanons to Jack and Alice’s entries since the initial post, and it’s possible I might go back and add even more if more ideas hit me, hahaha. Sorry for any inconvenience.

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Sauce-y Art

[amethystfairy1]

Hi I just read all of traveling thieves and it was so so good! Perfect mix of angst and comfort, it hurts so well :) I'm so excited to see where it goes next

I love how pearl and gem are vibing assassinating people together, they really are just girlbossing their way around

also gems sword is really cool

Gem getting bloodthirsty over the missing payment and then the guy offers pearl and she's like fine. I could use a companion I guess. But I will remember this. And then said companion helps her Kill and she's having fun and they're having a good time scandalizing people about an avian acting like a normal person but they can't do anything about bc that's The Slayer, you can't just FIGHT her about it she's got a broadsword dripping with enchants that she wields like it's nothing, and suddenly, oh, when was the last time gem had a friendship like this?

And tango and zed! Tango my beloved, poor guy he's doing his best, zed is also doing his best, and zed just running up to him and interviewing him excitedly and tango just being like 'uh. this is happening I guess' as their first meeting? Love it

Also zed flexing his master-smith seal to get them places and also just going 'i do what I want, YOU depend on ME' when he confronts heath about the water incident? 10/10

I'm also excited to see how Scott and Jimmy are doing, maybe he wants to be a free bird!!! I also love the narrative of Scott gets captured, he's in this new place and he immediately goes up to sit next to the only guy in the yard sitting alone, and he tries to escape and his new friend with the gold wings helps and then tries to tell him not to do that bc it'll just make it worse on him and Scott goes fine. I'll do it myself. and he DOES it and Jimmy goes well hell. Alright I'm going with him

And everything happening at the swagon? Oh my god?? Love me some misunderstanding hurt/comfort

Like at the beginning, grians still new to this whole situation with people being Nice to him, mumbo and scar are animatedly discussing a plan and grians in the corner just. Stressing. And now he's gotten more used to this and he's laughing (with bird noises!) and flying and quipping and committing petty revenge on mumbo lol and then something happens and he's Stressing again bc it's only been A Month

I was SO SURE I connected some dots bc of the 'between two books, right where he always left it' plus mumbo putting stuff back after grian hits the bookshelf plus how attached grian is to it (I am Looking at how he's described as treating it like glass Twice) that the going flying paper was going to go missing but apparently I have not connected the dots lol

I also love how grians tiny and then scar and mumbo are So Much Taller than him lol

In conclusion: I think I went a bit feral writing this but I really enjoyed the fic 👍 :)

Oh my goodness, thank you thank you!

I cannot tell you how happy receiving something like this makes me! All the details and thoughts! I love seeing someones thoughts about my AU like this for all the different groups going around! I'm glad the angst and comfort balance out for you, I know it's a dark fantasy AU but I also want it to have that sort of warm fuzzy edge to it, like everyone is being taken care of now, even if things were bad in the past.

Zed is 100% the BEST he knows what he is WORTH my boy look at him go I love him. Tiny tiny birb Grian! He's so sweet and traumatized poor lil guy 😭

Pearl and Gem are MENANCES they are TERRORS and I love them! Yes, yes, Pearl has had a bit more time to get more comfortable with Gem, and her experience navigating the system has also left her less shattered than Jimmy or Grian, for reasons that have been mentioned and will also later be explored in more detail.

Thank you so much for your wonderful words and for sharing them!!! 💖

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #hermitcraft #traffic smp #worldbuilding #traveling thieves au #life series #empires smp #goodtimeswithscar #mumbo jumbo #grian #zedaph #tango tek #pearlescentmoon #geminitay #geminislay

[buckleydiazmp4]

hey, you were saying that you don't think izzy should've died and that you didn't agree with his character arc for reflected upon reasons. is it okay to ask what those reasons are? you just always have interesting opinions about tv and i'd love to know about this one

oh hi! well i'm happy to share my thoughts since you asked so politely lol i just didn't share them earlier bc when there's discourse ppl act so vile sometimes

anyways. izzy hands huh. multi-faceted, complicated, very intense character. let me begin by saying the fact that david jenkins and con o'neill managed to do a total 180 on izzy in terms of how the audience reacted to him between s1 and s2 without fundamentally ruining his character is astounding!! i think the whole point of izzy has always been the fact that he's a man who tends to hold on too tight to the stuff that gives him a semblance of safety (even though that stuff is usually pretty traumatic lol) and across s2 we see him slowly loosening his grip on blackbeard. the fact that it was precisely blackbeard's brutal return that made izzy realize both him and ed were in too deep really just adds to how awesome the writing was this season.

and now, just to clarify: i didn't say i disagreed with his character arc, but with the way it was executed. as in, i think izzy's journey was perfectly well written and acted out by con (please give that man an award), and up until the finale it was actually very well executed!! it's the last plot device that i disagree with.

killing off izzy was a bold choice, and a very common way in which writers both show redemption and pull poignant reactions from the audience, which is ultimately what any show strives for!! for the audience to feel deeply about certain characters or stories. i think ppl have forgotten that and focused so much on wanting everything to be emotionally "clean" and lacking of controversy. guys!! the whole of fiction isn't supposed to cater to everyone!! that's why it's fiction!! it can be manipulated by creators and audience alike and each individual piece is supposed to be different. if you don't like emotional ups and downs in the media you consume that's understandable, but don't condemn the pieces of media that do have it. simply don't watch if you don't like it. i personally like these feelings, the ugly, and the dirty, and the unfair, and the painful, the human!!! it's part of the experience and they did it well this season.

even with that in mind though, i think death was only one of the many options through which they could've symbolized izzy finally letting go of blackbeard and the toxicity that name represented for all of them. i get how 'i wanna go' as a show of the deliberate decision izzy is making to escape from the emotional turmoil of ruthless piracy is trying to make his death seem like a way for him to rest, but. it's a pretty definitive rest and i think it wouldn't have been necessary, considering that one of the main things izzy learns this season is that you can spend years in a terrible environment but it's still never too late to pursue something softer for yourself and for the people you love. he says it, too: 'it's about belonging'.

as much as it is understandable to have wanted to take the way of the tragic and unexpected, for the sake of impact and to heighten the significance of what izzy has become this season, it would've been nice to see him stare at a long, happy future with the new family he's acquired aboard the revenge. ed let go of blackbeard without it meaning he had to renounce to the rest of his life for it, why couldn't izzy? it would've been wonderful to see all those years of life experience as a pirate reconcile with the reality that they're not dependent on isolating yourself from others. for izzy to have become captain, or even frenchie's first mate, would've been an excellent seal to his story, even leaving a future full of possibility to further explore how his character gets acquainted with his new way of looking at the world.

izzy put it that way: it is about letting go of ego for something larger. and his death can mean many things simultaneously, but it can also mean that without his ego he couldn't live. which. i do disagree with, so.

i don't know!!! i just think about it many different ways!! like in this post specifically i chose to see it under a different light than what i'm currently writing, and neither of those opinions cancel each other out; they can coexist!! that's the fun thing about fictional media interpretation!! it's also why we have devices like fanfiction and fanart and meta!! the fact that something played out in a specific way on screen doesn't mean it's set in stone as something good or bad, there are always shades of grey.

#woof this thing turned out SO LONG wtf #anyways i'm flattered you value my tv opinions :) and i hope this answered your question #anon #sara answers #ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #blackbeard #david jenkins #con o'neill

[x-honeycomb-x]

Your ftmtf mother is here - Intro

Wants to detransition for the kink, and need some guidance and encouragement? Here I am. I would break the journey into different chapters, and you can always share your progress with me for show-and-tell!

I would keep it old-xhoneycombx style, wholesome, neurodivergent-friendly, genderfluidity-friendly, asexuality-friendly, and hopefully anti-capitalism/consumerism-conscious.

So firstly, welcome daughters! Fucking around with gender is absolutely okay. But unlike most detrans and misgender kink content, I don't like force-play. Instead I'd like to offer some encouragement and acceptance.

I have heard stories about ftms experimenting with/reclaiming femininity for months or years, before returning to being masculine, and I think I am going through a similar process. I've since tried so many different interesting things (that includes voguing in a ballroom!), and I even found out I'm non-binary.

It can feel scary - what if I find out I'm actually not trans? What if I'm too traumatized to feel comfortable in my girl mode? What if my friends and family know? What if it makes me non-binary?

I had all of those thoughts! And may I just say that your safety is the most important thing. If you might trigger your transphobic parents, be safe. If you might trigger an episode and spiral, don't do it without a therapist. I trust that you are smart and capable of making good judgements. <3

But to address those fears, one thing I found in this journey is, that I am me no matter what vessels I put myself in. I've challenged myself, my identities and how I experience myself, and in the end I find myself feeling like me, I transcend all different labels and conditions, and I found a lot of genderless moments where I just am.

Your inner girl is calling you, I'd say why not give her a listen if you are curious?

First task incoming. Let's make space for your girl to think and be:

Prepare a notebook for her

Is there another (feminine optional) name you would like?

What pronouns you wanna explore with (in or out of kink)? It can be a mix with she/they/he/neo-pronouns

Write your name and pronouns on the first page. You can always come back and change it.

Bring her a comforting hoodie

Bring her a stuffed toy you can be a girl around with

Find her a bag and/or a basket that she can put her things in

If you've already been experimenting with detrans kink, you might have more supplies, bring them with you too.

Bring your feminine bras and underwear

Bring your feminine clothes

Bring your sex toys and kink toys

Bring your makeup, if you don't already have a makeup bag/basket, bring one and put them in

Bring your feminine accessories

Write down a list of people she's in contact with (like sext friends) and put it in your notebook

(I would really enjoy a dollar store trip for this task. A notebook, a few baskets, a plush, and maybe some snacks) (But you find most things at home.) (But buying new ones helps if you have too much associations with the old items, or you just like shopping for your girl)

Task 2, some organization would help clear your mind. If you have makeup, put them in a makeup bag/box. If you have feminine clothes and underwear, save a cabinet for them, or at least a basket. If you have sex toys, put them in a big pouch. If you have accessories, get an accessories box. Now that you're being in touch with your femininity, put your supplies in a bag (your notebook, hoodie, stuff toy, and anything you might actively use). My best advice is, put everything above in your girl cabinet, makeup and accessories on your desk, and your bag next to your bed/desk.

What I really want you to accomplish here is that, your inner girl deserves to take up space. She deserves to find the things she's looking for, she deserves a space in your life. She deserves the order so she can have space to think.

Task 3. I want you to put on your hoodie, and/or your bra and underwear, and/or your feminine clothes, and just cuddle your stuffed friend, and lay in bed. Hug it out.

You might get really horny at this point. Go for it, enjoy yourself, make it count. maybe you’re already soaking. Keep it natural by just sticking your fingers in, and really feel them going in and out. Spread your juices on your clit and rub it nicely. Cum on your own hand.

Fap or not, when you've finished and am ready, I want you(-r inner girl) to hug your plush, just hug, and think about how it's okay to be a girl.

It's okay to be a girl. You don't have to be one. You also don't have to be a binary girl, or a full-time girl. You can be sometimes a girl. Main point is, you don't have to be a girl, but it's okay to be a girl. I want you to hug and think about that idea.

(And if you want to, think about "I am a girl", and just be content with it and hug your stuffed friend. Introduce this side of yourself to it if you are ready.)

It goes without saying, if you have any thoughts, put them in your notebook. I hope your girl feels safe, and I look forward to doing more stuff with her/you next time. I hope it has been an okay/interesting/pleasant experience.

You can also inbox me your thoughts! I might not have the capacity to reply to DMs or long messages, but I definitely reads my Asks and reposts. Let me know your thoughts!

#detrans kink #ftm lesbian #ftm girl #ftmtf #misgendering blog #detransition kink #nb detrans kink #ftm girl wholesome

[kafus]

for the did ama, what's something you wish more people understood about did? (this can refer to singlets, people newly diagnosed, stuff that the community in general just may not know or acknowledge, etc)

i kind of share something similar to this in this ask to do with child alters if you wanted to see that

anyways there's probably a lot of angles i could go at this with but hm. i kind of hate how the online community is SO focused on alters themselves, identity alteration, like i think to a lot of people to be perceived as a Valid DID Haver you have to have alters with different names and different pronouns who act totally different from one another and that's just... not... not necessary or even common.

i took a bit to answer this because i wanted to pull up this study which has this quote, referencing some kluft research:

Many clinicians and lay people believe that DID presents with dramatic, florid personality states with obvious state transitions (switching). These florid presentations are likely based on media stereotypes, but actually occur in only about 5% of DID patients [60]. The vast majority of DID patients have subtle presentations characterized by a mixture of dissociative and PTSD symptoms embedded with other symptoms such as posttraumatic depression, substance abuse, somatoform symptoms, eating disorders, personality disorders, and self-destructive and impulsive behaviors [23, 61].

DID is a heavily covert disorder for many and while it's not unusual or even surprising that going into therapy and purposefully interacting with alters + using social media where that sort of behavior is expected/encouraged can cause us to become more "florid", many of us aren't like that... at all! and the lack of representation for people with DID who don't have super distinct alters or who simply don't want to share that information online is actually kind of appalling to me. DID is a dissociative disorder caused by childhood trauma first and foremost and comes with all the struggles related to those things. alters are just one piece of the puzzle. and the continued focus on alters harms both singlets because they don't understand DID outside of that, and people with DID... i can't tell you how many times i've talked to people with very obvious DID who thought they didn't have it because they didn't match social media depictions of the disorder. it's like everyone's trying to be like Sybil, subconsciously or not, and that's just... not always how it is!!

of course people with DID who have florid presentations are valid too and there are aspects of my DID that are very Not covert but growing up my situation was a lot more subtle and even now, there's so much about my DID people don't see because the only acceptable way to parse or talk about your symptoms and experience online are by well defined alters and the majority of our alters are just Not like that. i have so many alters that are just "me but slightly to the left" who would be hard to detect personality changes with, etc. many such cases.

tldr very good to keep in mind that people with DID are traumatized and dissociative individuals with a variety of symptoms that may or may not fall into the "idealized" standard depiction of DID on social media and in fiction, and i REALLY wish there was more discussion on the other parts of this disorder more often

#kiki was here #asks #the DID ama #mephilesthegay #i think it's easy tofall into the trap of only talking about alters #cause talking about alters can be fun! #it's like an escape from the bad of it all sometimes #and some talking about alters is good #just wish there was more balance yknow

[amysubmits]

You mentioned that when you brought up the D/s relationship to your husband, you sent him articles about it. Do you remember where you found those articles? My husband and I have been married 14 years, and together 19. We had a very limited sex life in the past due to sexual trauma I had from my previous relationship. I always had very bad feelings towards sex and viewed it as something that just hurt and the sooner it’s over the better and you just have to get him off to be done.

It wasn’t until I started reading erotica novels about BDSM that I even changed my view on sex and had my first orgasm…3 years after being married (5 years after I first had sex). Now I have a much healthier relationship with sex and I can have multiple orgasms, multiple ways.

My husband is very Alpha and amazing at making sure I’m taken care of and he prioritizes me and my safety. We’ve always sort of had that D/s dynamic. But I really want to go deeper into it. He’s open to discussing it. I just don’t know where to start other than the stereotypical stuff you see everywhere. I almost wish we had someone that could guide us and I don’t know how to bring it up to him that he needs a much better understanding of it just from having no familiarity of how in depth the dynamic is. The thing I’m mostly drawn to is the psychological aspect of it and when the Dom knows what the sub needs and demands it, regardless if the sub is aware what he’s doing. Thank you for all your posts and putting everything out there for people wanting to expand from a long term vanilla relationship to a new D/s relationship!

Hi there!

I'm so sorry that you've had the traumatic sexual experiences that have made it harder for you to find your way with your sexuality - but it's so cool that you've managed to do so now! Mine was a bit different from yours it sounds like, but it took me a while to figure out my sexuality due to trauma as well.

As far as what I shared with CD when I was first sharing the concept with him...

I came across the idea of domestic discipline (aka DD) before we knew about 'regular' D/s. It took a while before I realized that DD is basically a form of D/s. There's often a lot more D/s content out there than there is DD, so being limited to just knowing to search for DD made it especially tough. But anyway, the articles that I found early on where all on DD sites. There was some DD site that had a forum that was most of what I used as a reference from what I recall, and that site has since shut down. It was already really inactive by the time I was finding it like 10 years ago. But another that I can recall looks like it's still up. That is

I also recall a blog that was called A Shrew Tamed but I can't seem to find that. I think it may have been a Wordpress or blogspot blog?

That's what I recall starting with, anyway. While I gained a lot of info from those sources, I remember feeling frustrated that I couldn't find anything that was "spot on" for what I wanted. There are plenty of non-sexist DD people out there, but DD does bring in the sexist people more than regular D/s does, so there's a lot of sexism that can get mixed into most of the content I was finding early on... and that was always really offputting to me, but at the time it was the closest I could find to what I wanted. So I'd just share stuff with Cd but then point out the parts that I disagreed with or whatever. And he sometimes had additional parts that he disagreed with. So we had to kinda patch together our own path using some ideas from others but then crafting the rest based on our own ethics and needs and so on. Which I thought was kind of 'wrong' at the time, but I'm so glad we did that rather than feeling like we had to copy some guidelines from someone else that weren't right for us.

It took a ton of talking to get started, and that was pretty uncomfortable for me at the time as my communication skills were pretty bad and I had a lot of shame wrapped up in all of this so it was hard to talk about. But, to do D/s safely, I really had to get to a place where I could talk about it pretty in depth and openly so in hindsight, I'm glad that we did push ourselves to do all that talking. It was needed. Some of what we had to explore in depth were what both of us were wanting to feel about different aspects of D/s, what things we thought would give us those feelings and what things we thought would definitely NOT give us those feelings. And then once we started, we talked about what we were doing all the time in the beginning. CD wanted to know how everything he did felt to me, and we tried to keep adjusting if anything didn't feel good or right.

It's great that you know that a big part of what you're looking for is for your partner to know your needs and to prioritize them. Most likely, making it possible for him to know your needs in different situations will require you to share your needs with him a lot for a long time so that he can learn the patterns of what you need. And I know that sucks because a lot of times when we want someone to know our needs, part of what feels good is them 'just knowing' without us asking or telling, but realistically, our partners can usually only learn our needs in extreme detail like that, if a lot of communication happens early on.

It sometimes feels like CD 'reads my mind' and 'just knows' things - but that's almost always because at some point in the past, we openly discussed that need in some way or another. It also helps that he is very observant of my behavior and reactions to things, so he notices if I have a positive or negative reaction to something that happens or is said, and he tries to catalog that for future use. But that alone wouldn't be enough for him to know my needs most of the time.

I wish I had some specific article to point you to that would be exactly what you want, but I don't know of one. I do know that there's lots of great content here on tumblr that you could maybe use to send to your partner with commentary about what sounds good about it and what doesn't sound so good about it, the way I did with those early articles years go. I have a tag on my blog #vanilla to D/s that I use to tag any content I write or reblog that I think would be of interest to people transitioning from vanilla to D/s. @cherishedproperty has some of the best d/s content on tumblr in my opinion. Off the top of my head, I believe @tinybitsubby and @cybister015 are two more blogs you can follow for vanilla to D/s experience. And there are lots of others that are just good D/s examples even if they aren't vanilla to D/s. I tag most reblogs with #other writers if you want to browse that to see other blogs I've reblogged from and check out their content.

Hope this helps! If you have any additional questions come up feel free to reach out again. Best of luck to you guys. :)

#asks #d/s #24/7 d/s #vanilla to d/s

[novorehere]

I’m not in the vore community (is that an accurate thing to call it?!) so I hope you don’t mind receiving this from a total rando lmao. But I randomly came across your Stardew headcanons post thanks to a specific-but-unrelated search, and I just wanted to say it was SO cute 🥺 At first I was just curious but by the end I was like “mhm mhm yep you’re so correct” and smiling over how sweet it was. You totally don’t have to answer this ask, I just thought it would be rude not to share my thanks for your lovely writing! And for helping me appreciate the appeal a little more :) Light and love

This ask is from JANUARY and I’m so sorry I’m just getting around to answering it now (Side note- happy 1.6 day! Hopefully it comes out on switch soon, I’m dying to play it.)

Anyway, this ask might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me on this blog 😭 To have someone who’s not into vore appreciate and enjoy my writing anyway is the highest honor I can possibly think of. I’m smiling so much right now, you don’t even know.

The fact that tumblr’s search function makes it so that people can stumble upon my writing despite it not being in the tags is a little embarrassing, but I’m so pleased that you liked it! I like to treat it as more of a silly AU where I can play around with the characters and think about how they would react in a weird, yet oddly charming situation :)

The “vore community” online isn’t really a single community, since there are so many different preferences ranging from sexual to platonic, and violent to harmless. On tumblr, there are dedicated “fandoms” for both non-sexual vore and G/t (Content featuring giant characters and tiny characters, both from fandoms and people’s OCs.)

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always had an interest in media where people shrink down or interact with people way bigger than them. Same thing with characters being eaten/going inside the body. I’ve always had a fascination with the human body, how it works, and what it might look like inside. And little did I know, there were many people like me online who shared the exact same experiences and interests! And I think that’s really cool :)

Anyway, I’m glad I could make your first experience stumbling across this stuff be less than traumatic xD Your kind words seriously mean a lot, and I’m glad you could enjoy my writing even if the subject matter was a little on the weird side. I hope you’ve been having a good 2024, and enjoy the new update!

#op #asks #fave #megafave #don’t mind me bookmarking this for when I’m having a bad day #because this makes me so immensely happy you don’t understand #I can feel the s/tardew fixation coming back oh no #mayhaps I’ll feel like writing more for these guys 👀 we’ll see

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 6 Pt. 1

Ahhhh I have fallen behind... D,:

Anyways. My usual stream of consciousness stuff for my first read! Here we go! I'm sure things can only get better from here.

[All images in this post are from Trigun Maximum Volume 6.]

Meryl... :( She's not even in the bed, she's just sitting in a chair, as if she knows she won't be able to sleep well... or more likely that she can't fall asleep and she's been awake so long she dozed off in the chair... my poor girl somebody at her job give her compensation or like. Extended vacation days or something. Please. (Also how long do you think Meryl had to reassure Milly that she was fine before Milly lay down and got some sleep? Idk seems like something she'd do; try to stay up with Meryl.)

The entire conversation between Wolfwood and Meryl is really interesting to me. Firstly, Wolfwood trying to dig for why Meryl hasn't asked any of the obvious questions (because it doesn't seem like Meryl has told anyone what she saw) and just coming across as incredibly annoying for no reason ahdjfhjdbfv. But what's intriguing is even with the lack of real communication here, I feel this is a conversation of equals, despite Wolfwood's objective being to get Meryl to leave. Meryl's fear has little to do with Vash's transformation itself, but rather the implications of what he is and the very visceral and traumatic experiences that she is now privy to through the perspective of the person who suffered them. Thing is, even with Wolfwood lacking this info, he still notes something about Meryl's character without saying it outright that is 100% spot on - Meryl won't leave for herself. But she might leave for Milly. She has a strong sense of responsibility to her, and Wolfwood pulls on that, likely because it's something of a commonality they share. (However, I think Wolfwood does not fully see that Vash is included, as well as Milly, in Meryl's list of people she would do pretty much anything for... but that might involve Wolfwood having to like. Actually admit that Vash occupies a similar position for him in a personal and not just occupational way...)

[ID: Vash's hand holds Marlon's gun loosely. His index finger has released its hold on the trigger and is dripping blood. End ID.]

...oh yeah. He's doing well.

Vash: *on the tail end of a severely traumatic flashback and incident*

Also Vash:

[ID: Three images of Vash making a variety of silly faces. End ID.]

(Also I adore his snark so much. Vash's inner monologue has got to be so much snarkier than anything he says out loud. That whole "I won't say anything because I am polite but know that I am thinking very loudly about how much of a dick you are".)

[ID: A panel of Brandon Marlon in a cartoony style, mockingly throwing his hands in the air and saying "Ohhh, look at me! I fired a gun! Woow!" then switching to scowling and waving dismissively, saying "You can die and be reborn a thousand times and I still won't make a gun for a moron like you!" End ID.]

Oh my god. Someone who actually understands the responsibility that comes with distributing weapons. Brandon Marlon you are my new favourite minor character. Also you're so funny about it.

Meryl... she is so worried about him... :(

"His determination is stronger than the regret he carries." Augh...

Wolfwood having nightmares... Meryl having nightmares... it would surprise me if Vash and Milly weren't also having nightmares... there is only one solution. Group cuddle session under nice big blanket.

[ID: Vash sits, perched on the edge of a roof with a friendly smile. Behind him, the full moon with the crater is in full view against the darkness of the night sky. End ID.]

Oh. Hm. This is a choice. Very much echoes what Wolfwood was saying to Meryl earlier, that they both know "what kind of guy he is" (friendly, compassionate, etc.), but that he's also very dangerous... a "time-bomb"... :(

AUGH

Oh man. More of the "I know" "I know you know" FUCK. No way Vash didn't realize Wolfwood was pointing his gun at him.

God. Nothing Wolfwood does matters. It looks like he killed someone to save the kids, but they're not safe and it just guaranteed he couldn't go back to see them. He tried to kill Knives but was too freaked to follow through and ended up trapped obeying him. Knives is going to destroy the orphanage anyways no matter what he does, so all he's doing is stalling for time. Caring about Vash doesn't change anything - he's still doing exactly what he's been told to do. He's stuck. He's trapped. Somebody help him out please.

Vash has now canonically been referred to as "pretty boy". I mean we all knew but it's still funny.

[ID: Vash, aiming his gun, has his back turned to Wolfwood, who is crouched low and shielding him with the Punisher. The remnants of a wooden table are shattered across the scene. End ID.]

OHHHH this fight scene is GOOD. Back to back fighting! They automatically switched who they were facing off against AHHH

They both, without even a word, showed their backs and trusted the other to defend them. I. Ok. Ok. I'm cool.

Never mind apparently Milly is sleeping like a log shgjdfhbvjdfhb

The Legato and Elendira interaction is so funny. Knives' duo of worsties who hate each other and want to kill each other but settle for petty insults and whipping beverages in the other's face.

DOUBLE FANG??? OHHH???

Why is this boy Bane. He has Bane powers. What.

...Legato. Wtf happened to your tongue. Like I'd heard people talk about the tongue but I thought it's probably not that bad. Never mind. Eugh.

[ID: A set of panels showing street market vendors and their owners, selling their goods. Snippets of dialogue are heard: "Right here! Fresh meat! Just in today! Chicken! Beef! Pork! You want it, we've got it!" "It's always a concern. That's why I suggest this powder..." "We use ingredients as close to the original as possible." "Well? Doesn't that smell good? That's the very freshest tea." "It's really fantastic, madam." "My, that is good. You don't skimp on the sugar." "It's flammable, so be careful. Nah, just handle it the same way you would gasoline." Amid the conversation, a close-up of Knives' face reveals his eye, narrowed, bitter and distant. End ID.]

Ok. This set of panels gets me. There's so much ambiguity here. Knives is listening to the people enjoy the fruits of the labours of his sisters that humanity have been exploiting. The thing is... these things, a lot of them aren't exactly necessities. They're specifically engineering things to be close to what they had, which, while understandable (humans need enjoyment to survive. like that's real), it also begs the question of whether this kind of differentiation increases demand on the Plants beyond what is necessary for humans to take. Or maybe it doesn't. Maybe the differentiation is no more effort on the part of the Plants than the raw amount needed to live comfortably. It's hard to say, since we're seeing this through the filter of Knives' view, for whom any amount the humans take from Plants is too much. Anyways. It's interesting. ...I also think he looks painfully young in this panel, but maybe that's just me.

[ID: Knives stands before a headstone engraved with his name. He is just an eerily grinning silhouette, with his weapons curled and hooked over his head like a set of bladed wings. End ID.]

He is proud of his artwork. (Sorry lol)

"This Plant is going to be retired." <- uh. yikes. Way to avoid saying she's going to die.

"Deliberately go out of control" so wait. I'm confused. The Plant is going to go out of control at the end of her life cycle and they're harvesting what was going to happen anyways, or they deliberately push her to that point so that she goes out of control? What's happening here.

Hm. An angel arm type thing formed from what looks like her stomach... or maybe womb? I don't know but that's... hm. It's like it's their core or something. Like a reactor core. If that's the case then it being forced out of Vash like that is even more disturbing.

Her hair turned black. No. No hold on. Oh no.

[ID: A close up of Knives' face. His eyes have gone blank and lines from his Plant abilities are etched on his cheeks. End ID.]

Ohhh... remember how the blank eyes seem to show severe distress...? :(

Noooo oh my god. It's so much worse. Knives has been inadvertently killing Vash every time he activates his powers. AUGH

Local man just wanted to enjoy his noodles. Unfortunately his buddy is a trouble magnet and he keeps getting interrupted. Will he ever have the chance to finish his noodles in peace? hdjvbhdfvhjb

So Vash has been sneaking off to day drink apparently. Holy crap that panel is disturbing. Also it hurts me. My poor boy... :(

"Needle-noggin-isms" I'm screaming

Oh god he's so off in this fight. He's... he's actually drunk, isn't he...?

!!! Holy shit Vash's Plant abilities saved him automatically.

Oh fuck off with these people.

AUGH MERYLLLLL

I am in so much pain. Haha. Ha.

Ok ok but - does anyone other than Meryl know that she saw everything? Because Vash was totally out of it in that scene - it's not like he meant to transmit those flashbacks. I don't think anyone knows the full extent of what Meryl saw. So, when she has a panic attack and flinches away from him... he completely misunderstands. He thinks it's because she sees him as a monster; that she's scared of him. But that's not true! Meryl has done nothing but be concerned for him! And yes, it was terrifying, and yes, she's scared, but she cares about him! As a person! But I think Vash perceived this as a rejection. And all he can do is apologize. (Augh and the parallel to Hoppered and the woman with the blinded eyes who panicked when being touched...) STOP THIS NOW THIS HURTS

The little kid defending Vash... not old enough yet for fear to overtake reason... :')

I feel like Elendira is just here to see how things go down. She's here for a good time, not a long time.

TESLA MENTION.

Rem is so silly. <3

Baby Knives wants so badly to be liked and accepted... augh.

The contrast between "Do you think we can become friends with them?" and "Yeah... it might take a lot of effort though." Ooh. Many thoughts.

#meryl my poor girl... :( #i am psyched to see more of tiny knives and vash. and rem!!! #trigun #trimax #trigunbookclub #storyrambles

[theconfusedwriter]

Hello!

My name is Ian and I’m a writer so I figured it was about time I joined the writeblr community.

A little about me…

I’m 24 and use he/they pronouns.

I have a degree in Music Industry that I am currently not using. I also have a certificate in Writing and Publishing which I am sort of using.

I’ve been writing stories for as long as I can remember, but only started pursuing it as a career about three years ago. Since then I have self-published two books that I am very proud of.

In addition to writing I have interests in music, film & television, and linguistics. I also love to read so this will probably be a little bit of a bookblr too.

A little about my books…

As I said, I have two books currently available in paperback and ebook. They’re called It Could Always Be Worse and Will It Ever Get Better? They are both part of a series called the Woodview Stories, which I plan to continue. I’m currently working on the next book.

It Could Always Be Worse

After a traumatic experience in her hometown of Miami, Elena Flores moves away to live with the father she’s never met. It’s not easy starting a new school in the middle of October, so when her half sister invites her to a party, she thinks “what’s the worst that could happen?” Elena must learn to navigate her new life in the wealthy suburbs of Long Island and try to build relationships, but that’s hard to do when she doesn’t know who to trust and she can’t let go of her anger and sadness.

Order here.

Will It Ever Get Better?

Jo Reilly has dealt with a lot of big changes lately. She’s sharing a room with a surprise half-sister, her parents are always fighting, her best friends aren’t speaking to her, and she’s falling for someone totally unexpected. All she wants is to be normal, but what does that even mean? Jo must learn to shed her insecurities, resentments, and preconceived notions, in order to be true to herself and find the people who really care about her.

Order here.

Woodview Stories

Woodview Stories is a Young Adult contemporary fiction book series. It tells the coming of age tales of a diverse group of teens living in the affluent Long Island neighborhood of Woodview. The overarching story progresses through the books chronologically with each installment switching narrator to focus on a different person's point of view. It all begins with Elena, whose sudden move to Woodview from Miami sets off a chain of events that affects the lives of everyone around her.

A little about my other writing…

The majority of what I write in YA, like the books I have already written. I also tend to stick to contemporary, but sometimes drift to other genres.

I also dabble in screenwriting. I’m currently working on a teleplay as a side project. I’ll probably post a lot about that in addition to my main project.

Anyway…

I don’t know if I’ve put the right stuff in the intro post, but here it is anyway.

That’s all for now. Bye!

Also, my main blog is @nothing-mancer so that’s where I’ll follow from :)

#writeblr #writers of tumblr

[pumpkzsafeplace]

I have a complicated question - I’m in my early 20s and I have some childhood trauma ranging from age 2 1/2 to age 6 and many times after that throughout my childhood/teens. I’ve been thinking about agere stuff and if it’d help even just to enjoy toys/etc from my childhood that I feel like I “lost” or didn’t get to experience. Like I don’t think I have a childhood memory where I wasn’t scared/traumatized in some way, even the ones before trauma are of me being scared or upset. I love soft things and I love the idea of having a daddy but I kind of like daddy stuff in an adult way too … I like the sfw and nsfw side but I’m particular about the nsfw and keep it entirely private. Idk what to do … I don’t want to interact with people I shouldn’t and hurt or upset them somehow. Again everything I enjoy in public is sfw and I do genuinely love the sfw side of things (the innocence and safety of it feels so nice.) idk it just seems like a lot of blogs are either fully sfw and don’t want anybody with any nsfw interest interacting or are nsfw and very very very intense (and far more than I can handle tbh). What do I do?

- hihi cucpake'! <3 (tw)

sorry for the delayed response sweetpea i was taking a little break <3

this is a very good question baby bee!!

i get questions like this a lot due to the sfw nature of my channel, so i'd like to speak about it from my personal experience.

personally i think anybody can do agere. agere is so healing to that inner child, and can help wonders with confidence and finding out who somebody truely is. it's such an innocent and beautiful feeling.

trauma is a complicated thing that can manifest itself differently to different people. is my blog a complete sfw blog for agere? yes. do i judge or value those who use nsfw k*** ways to deal with trauma? of course not.

but do i think the two can interact as freely and openly as people hope? no, not without proper consent.

and here's my reasoning why.

blogs are safe spaces, you use them for expression, to express your likes and dislikes- almost like you've own personal safety bubble. then you begin to attract people with similiar intrests to you, forming your own private little audience.

take my blog for example, 9/10 you'll find littles on my blog because it's for a little audience. i follow, i comment, i like little related things (or cottage and cute witch things), so when i load up my page, tumblr shows me recommendations based off my interactions & the people who follow me.

now take a nsfw k*** blog. now the person running the blog maybe be an age regressor, but the audience they've gathered posting other content will be there for that nsfw content. now if they follow a completely sfw agere (without consent) and start interacting, they've now invited (without knowing) their audience to also see this page.

& now that safe bubble that little has created for regression has been popped because they're recieving likes and comments & sometimes even messages with blogs that potray things that can be triggering or sometimes scarring in that headspace- which is not fair on them.

now there are blogs out their who are okay with nsfw interaction, they're a little hard to find but there are some out there if that's more your style! <3

but for safety of you regressing too- i would suggest making a little side blog to explore and get comfortable with. you can like, share and comment till your hearts content then (as long as you respect boundaries).

then you can have both & also have a little private safe space that's just for you to enjoy or even to find a potential caregiver? <3.

i hoped this helped! & thank you so much for addressing such a difficult topic, i hope this has helped shed some light <3

-ˏˋ 🍓 ˎˊ˗

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