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#even that stuff of them at pride a couple years ago like. honestly it makes me really uncomfortable
jimothystu · 1 year
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hii!
how are you?
I saw you posts about the blue jays, and as someone trying to get into baseball, can you like maybe give me a rundown of how the league works and maybe an overview of the blue jays since thats the team Im probably gonna be rooting for? I'm trying to get into it but im completely new to the sport and im honestly a little overwhelmed.
p.s I love your blog!
-🦫
hiii! i'm decent!! i hope you are too :)
omg okay, i only got into baseball a couple of seasons ago, so i don't know like every tiny detail, but here's a little overview! i'm a little honoured you asked me kjnskdjnsda
i'm assuming you know more or less how a game of baseball is played, but if not lmk!
so. mlb first.
the teams are divided between east, central, and west. within each of those there is also the american league and the national league.
AL east: Baltimore Orioles, Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees, Tampa Bay Rays, Toronto Blue Jays
AL central: Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Guardians (formerly the Indians but pretty much only old people still call them that), Detroit Tigers, Kansas City Royals, Minnesota Twins
AL west: Houston Astros, LA Angels, Oakland Athletics, Seattle Mariners, Texas Rangers
NL east: Atlanta Braves, Miami Marlins, New York Mets, Philadelphia Phillies, Washington Nationals
NL central: Chicago Cubs, Cincinnati Reds, Milwaukee Brewers, Pittsburgh Pirates, St. Louis Cardinals
NL west: Arizona Diamondbacks, Colorado Rockies, LA Dodgers, San Diego Padres, San Francisco Giants
In the NL, pitchers used to have to bat as well as hit, whereas in the AL there was a designated hitter (DH) who was not in the field, but rather stayed on the bench until it was their turn in the lineup to bat (instead of the pitcher). This rule changed last season I believe, and pitchers are no longer required to bat in the NL, but they can still do so if they want (see Shohei Ohtani, an incredible pitcher and batter). Pretty sure that's the only major difference. The AL and NL distinction is used during the All Star Games where the best (objectively) players from across the league play a game: AL versus NL.
It used to be that teams played their division rivals more than other teams, but the MLB has a new schedule this year that is trying to make it so each team plays division rivals less and interleague teams more (e.g., instead of playing other AL east teams a million times, the Blue Jays will play more NL teams). This is to try and make things a bit more even in terms of who plays whom, and also will allow fans to hopefully see their favourite teams more regularly.
For baseball, unlike in, say hockey where there's just single games against teams at a time, MLB baseball has series, in which two teams play anywhere from 2-4 games back to back. There are winners and losers of each game, of course, but there's also the winner and loser of the series. Series that have 2 or 4 games can have a tie, though.
Like other professional sports, there is a final playoff stint for MLB. It happens in the fall. This site has a good rundown of the playoff format!
And here's a list of over 150 basbeall terms/phrases!
Onto the Blue Jays:
So, the jays are Canada's only MLB team and as a result they pretty much have an entire country backing them. They are very vocal and proud of this fact, and take pride in representing a whole country. So that's always nice!
There are some favourites on the team, especially on tumblr lol. These include:
Vladimir Guerrero Jr.
1st baseman
Number 27
23 years old (24 on march 16)
One of the most talked about players
Great offense and defense
Born in Montreal but grew up in the Dominican
English isn't fluent, so he does interviews and stuff in Spanish via an interpreter
Father was an player (Vlad Sr)
Bo Bichette
Shortstop
Number 11
Turning 25 tomorrow!! (March 3)
Headbands
Florida man
Huge Justin Bieber fan
Father was in the MLB (Dante Bichette)
George Springer
Out fielder
33 years old
Number 4
Dad of the group but knows how to have fun
Is an actual dad
American
Was on the Astros during a cheating scandal and as such some fans of other teams bring that up a lot
Alek Manoah
Starting pitcher
Number 6
25 years old
American
Had an incredible debut against the Yankees in 2021
Tol
Intense on the mound but chaotic middle child energy off the mound
Matt Chapman
Best 3rd baseman in the league (in my humble opinion)
Number 26
29 years old
American
Egg (i.e. half the time he shaves his head)
SUCH a babygirl
Just so soft
Santiago Espinal
2nd baseman, but can also play shortstop if need be
Number 5
28 years old
American
Short king (5'10)
Besties with Bo
Pretty loose and fun in the dugout
Cavan Biggio
Utility player. I.e., can play multiple positions (third base, second base, and right field)
Number 8
27 years old
American
Besties boyfriends with Bo
Father was also in the MLB (Craig Biggio)
Danny Jansen
Catcher
Number 9
27 years old
American
Just had a baby!! (well his wife did)
Nickname is Jano
Sometimes also in the egg carton
Alejendro Kirk
Catcher
Number 30
24 years old
Mexican
Interviews in Spanish via interpreter
Shortest King (5'8")
People always say he's "not built like a catcher/athlete" (he's short and stocky and people are judgey)
Wife just had a baby!
Called Captain Kirk (after Star Trek)
Jose Berrios
Starting pitcher
Number 17
28 years old
From Puerto Rico
Constantly chewing on mouth guard
Adam Cimber
Relief pitcher (pitches in an inning or two after the starter has been taken out)
Number 90
32 years old
American
Super cool side-arm throw and a pretty glove
Cool tattoos
Mullet man
Jordan Romano
Closing pitcher, meaning he almost exclusively pitches in the last inning of play
Number 68
Local boy!! From Markham, Ontario. One of the few Canadian players on the team
Either has full caveman beard or babyface
Kinda lowkey always looks high
Tol and built like a twig
Kevin Gausman
Starting pitcher
Number 34
32 years old
American
Rocks a lot before he pitches (at risk of balking)
Whit Merrifield
Second baseman or outfielder
Number 15
34 years old
American
Came to the Jays last year and was a little controversial bc of uhhh vaccine stuff but it's chill now (i think)
Kinda just a Dude
Kevin Kiermaier
Outfielder
Number 39
32 years old
Huge uproar when he was signed this off season because of a stolen data card that Kirk dropped (read about it here if you want)
But is doing well in spring training so far so he's slowly being forgiven by the fans
This is not every player at all. If there are any that I didn't put and you wanna ask about, go ahead! I just did not want this post to be fucking massive, and I feel bad for taking so long as it is.
But yeah, I hope this helped somewhat! Again, I am still kinda new to baseball myself and do not know everything, but I'm always happy to help teach others about the Jays :D
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the---hermit · 2 years
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Enigma: La Strana Vita Di Alan Turing by Tuono Pettinato and Francesca Riccioni
I read this graphic novel many years ago now, and for a while I wanted to do a reread of this. I used the studyblr w/knives pride reading challenge as an excuse to do it, and I am really happy I did. I used this book for the yes,I'm queer, mind your business prompt. (I will post a proper update on the challenge once I read a couple more books).
As I said this wasn't my first time reading this graphic novel, but I read it so long ago I just had a faded memory of it. I am really glad I reread it, because although I loved it in the past I feel like rereading it now made my experience much better. In the years I have gained more knowledge on a lot of stuff, history, science, queerness, I feel like I got much more from this read this time around. It's a very simple graphic novel that tells the life of Alan Turing, from his school years all the way to his death. There is not a specific focus, not on his queerness or his work, it's about all the parts that made him up as a person, which I really enjoyed, because nothing is overshadowed by other elements, there's the right balance to show what his life was. This is not the first graphic novel biography by Tuono Pettinato I have read, I also have Nevermind, his work on Kurt Cobain (which I also plan on rereading). There's one thing I really appreciate about his works, his stories are not full of pity, but he manages to show the bad things with such empathy. I would describe his graphic novels as delicate, you can tell there's a lot of work behind them, and there's a lot of attention to details. I absolutely love his works, and I plan on getting his other graphic novels in the future. The illustrations work amazingly, I adore how he picked just a few colours throughout the whole novel. I feel like this graphic novel is a great way to learn about an historical figure, that is also queer, in a fun but stimulating way. I honestly do not know whether this book was translated in other languages, but if you have a chance to read it I absolutely recommend it. It's one of my all time favourite graphic novels, and I feel like I fell in love with it all over again.
There's a couple of things I wanted to mention that I don't know whether they count as spoilers or not, so just to be safe I put them under the cut.
As I was saying I am not sure whether this counts as a spoiler, since it's not a fictional story. What I always really liked about the way Alan Turing's story was told here is how they intertwined his love for Snow White. It is mentioned when he saw the movie, and how it was influencial for him, but then there's these little details that just tie everything together so well. How Hitler is drawn like the evil stepmother, how his collaborators are drawn like the dwarves, and finally how it all make the end of his life much more meaningful. The way he took his life (or was take out, who knows?) feels like an even stronger event after the care for these small details. The way the author nods to other fictional works is always something I appreciate in his works.
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followthestarpath · 3 months
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My beef with every organized religion
This might seem blasphemous but honestly it's just my observations and if that makes me a heretic, then so be it. I still believe in God. I guess it's just in a different light.
Christianity
Well I was actually baptized when I was 8 and attended church regularly but I was always secretly agnostic. It didn't make sense to me how so many things in the Bible contradicted what we were learning in school. (I think I blame Santa for jumpstarting my urge to question everything).
When I went away to college and went through my own self discovery, only then did I feel comfortable enough to reveal my agnosticism. The first person I ever told was a Muslim and his response was that I have to believe in something or else I'll go to hell. Safe to say, I went back to keeping it secret.
Since the beginning of mankind. We have used religion to justify colonialism and Genocide. If Jesus and his followers happened in one side of the world, how would people on the other side know? If it's your job to spread the good word of The Lord, then why would you slaughter people who have never heard of Him? How could they by anything other than heathens if you don't even get them the option.
Also I can't handle the circular reasoning. Where does it say you can't be gay? Ok, well who wrote that down? Where's the proof? Oh okay. If we ever get time travel, I will bet a million pesos that Peter, Paul, and whoever were buttfucking each other in an orgy.
In Matthews when Judas betrayed Jesus, he kissed him to reveal his identity to the angry mob. To which Jesus replied, "Friend, why have you come?" which to me does not sound like something someone would say if their friend kissed them for the first time.
Why does it say it's wrong to get information from the stars? Cause it's witchcraft? Oh okay, well why is that bad? Cause the book says so? But how did the three Wiseman know Jesus was born?
Astrology was started by royal astronomers hundreds of years before the common era and they were pretty much one in the same. It wasn't until Constantine legalized Christianity in 313 AD that it became taboo.
The Book also talks about slavery and it doesn't condemn the philosophy of it at all. It's right there in the The Ten Commandments. Everyone knows, "thou shall not kill", "though shall not steal" and maybe a couple more but what about the rest? You don't just get to pick and choose which parts to listen to.
(Fuck, why is this so long? )
My point is that if I blindly follow someone's advice on how to navigate the world from two millennia ago, that would be dangerous in any field. And I also think that if a stranger said not to listen to anyone else but them and follow them to live for eternity, I would think they were a super villian.
If your truth is so Supreme, then there shouldn't be anything against exploring other options because they would come back every time. Or does God think we're all idiots that would get lost if no one was there to guide us?
If I wrote a paper in college and my sources were from even 50 years ago, the whole paper wouldn't be credible. So how did we all choose to follow this book with no amendments ever?
And is Catholicism so big that the Vatican needs to be considered its own country? That's gotta be gluttony or pride or something.
Judaism
My main critique is that anytime someone mentions that Jews control the world, they immediately get canceled and labeled as antisemitic. But I don't understand why that is taken as such an insult. And the fact that it goes down like that makes the claim seem that much more accurate. Have you seen that documentary Three Identical Strangers? All I'm saying is that they came off real shady.
Not to get too political, but during the current situation in Gaza, Israel is seeming to play both, victim and abuser.
Islam, Buddhism, Christianity (again)
My perception of a lot of religious stuff is that someone found one way to do something, wrote it down, and somewhere along the line, it became the only way. Because Muhammad thought pigs were dirty, people shouldn't eat pork? Because Buddha didn't do drugs that means that no one should else should try them. Jesus turned the other cheek so I'm not supposed to defend myself against enemies? Spoiler alert: that did not end up being well for him. I'm all for peace and love but at no point in time will I ever not fight back against people attempting to nail me to a cross.
Atheism
I never meshed well with nonbelievers who only care for what science says. We used to believe the earth was flat, you could fly to the sun, and that flies were born from rotten meat. There's a reason why the Big Bang and gravity are still considered theories.
Paganism adjusts and upgrades frequently. Back when tarot was developed thousands of years ago, the major arcana was proposed as 22 cards represented by the 12 zodiac signs and 10 luminaries. Even though we had not discovered 10 luminaries yet. Uranus wasn't discovered until 1781, Pluto in 1930!
Astrology updates with the times the birth chart house associated with work used to represent slaves and the house associated with friends and community now includes social media. When the outer planets were discovered, they filled in the missing spots and made everything more even. It's kind of like when the Texans joined the NFL.
So what I do enjoy about science is that it is constantly reviewing information and reconsidering the truth. So now we know for sure that the earth is super round, the sun is hecka far away, and that flies are flipping disgusting. That is something that none of the big three seem to be open to (and even four if you wanna count Buddhism)
Mattafack...
Buddhism (again)
For a long time, I thought my ideals aligned with Buddhism. Cause I'm all about peace, meditation, and being one with nature. I really appreciate the idea of reaching Nirvana as a goal but their actual ultimate goal is to ascend past samsara and basically erase yourself from the ether. You aren't supposed to desire anything and should never be upset cause that's poison for your spirit. That is the only way to beat suffering but I feel like that's like chopping off your hand cause you can't stop sucking your thumb. I much prefer Shintoism because it simply just is and that's it. And maybe even Hinduism? I'll dig more into those.
Jehovah's Witnesses
Growing up, I never understood why Jehovah's Witnesses weren't allowed to celebrate holidays. After researching, the best answer I could find is because they contribute most of them to paganism paired with the belief that celebrations displease God.
Now I really appreciate them not pretending that there isn't a direct correlation of Christmas to Saturnalia and Easter to Ēostre (which is why the date is so dependent upon the equinox and full moon and why there is a rabbit that lays eggs) but to dwindle down birthdays as paganism just seems like a reach. Sure the pagans kept track of the sun but if that’s your thinking then you might as well ignore the whole Gregorian calendar.
There are some good points like refusing to join the military and pleging aligience to flags cause fuck war and nationalism but everything else just seems so stiff. My personal philosophy is to celebrate as much as possible. Shoot, one of my resolutions is to celebrate more small victories. So if that sends me to hell then so be it, I won't have any regrets.
Anyway shuning people for not living in your same truth, restricting simple pleasures, and trying to convince strangers in book stores that they need to conform to your ideals if they want to live forever seems like a pyramid scheme wrapped in a cult. So it's a no from me.
Speaking of cults...
Latter Day Saints
Mormons, oh boy. Seems like a ploy to just have a bunch of wives and sex. If there is a greater goal than that, I can't tell. Not for me.
and of course,
Scientology
I bet you could make up some random conspiracy like "scientology planned 9/11" and it would probably hold some validity. I already gave my views on science and my communist ideologies just won't even let me think about this too long.
Amish
Not a cult but I honestly don't get it. I googled "why don't Amish use technology" and it came up with an FAQ from the Amish community website so then I was even more confused.
Everyone and everyone else
This sentiment goes across most religions for me: if having fun is a sin and the only way to reach salvation is to eliminate them all when I go to heaven, will I have fun then? Or will it be the same restrictions? I gotta chew on that one for awhile.
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lionheartslowstart · 8 months
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Moved In (Again)
The last month or so has been pretty hectic and definitely stressful. My boyfriend "Thomas" and I finally moved out of the horrible apartment we were living in. While I initially liked the idea of moving back to the city, it was just so not what we thought it was going to be.
Obviously, the main issue was finances. Living in the city, really any of the five boroughs, has become exponentially more expensive than it was when I lived there seven years ago. And the type of job Thomas has requires a lot of commuting (which also adds up after a while), so it was just not a sustainable situation. On top of cost, I realized that living in the city is just not what I want anymore, which honestly makes me really sad. Several years ago, I thrived in New York. I loved living in that kind of apartment and joining in on the hustle and bustle every day. The only reason I left was because my POS ex forced me to. Maybe it's because I'm older, or because I have different needs now, but I came to the hard realization that, while I adore Manhattan, it's just not the kind of environment I can thrive in anymore. It does kind of make sense, when I think about how attached I've become to LA, and the kind of lifestyle that's over there, that I would in turn end up floating away from the NYC lifestyle. But I'm sad anyway, because I'm still losing something. And I can't help but be angry at my ex for that too. Just something else he stole from me.
But I digress. Funnily enough, we were able to move back to my old apartment building, though it is (thankfully) a different unit. I always had a good relationship with the management team there, so when I reached out to them to let them know we were moving again and ask if they had any availabilities, they were thrilled! They told me I was a model tenant, and they would love to have me back. I'm lucky I had an in, because they only had ONE apartment available and they weren't even advertising it online.
Thomas and I fell in love with the apartment as soon as we saw it. It's almost one thousand square feet, bigger than any apartment either of us had ever lived in. It even has a cute little den area where we keep the desk, the bookcase, and all of our witchy things. The living room is spacious, with enough room to put up the pole, and the bedroom is perfect: not so big that it feels weirdly empty, and not so small that you have to squeeze around the furniture. The layout is fantastic, and there's tons of room for our various art, with still plenty of wall space to spare! Unfortunately, due to the model of the unit and its layout relative to the rest of the building, we had to give up the balcony, but we mutually decided that was the right call. Again, ours was the only available unit at the time, and we wanted to pounce on it before anyone else could snap it up. But even if there were other units available, we probably still would have gone with this one. I can't explain it, but it just feels so..."us."
The application process was super smooth. Management even agreed to put our applications in a few weeks early, because they really wanted us to be the people to get it! Then it was just cleaning the old place, packing all our stuff, moving our furniture and things, unpacking our stuff, and (my favorite part) organizing our stuff. Those few weeks were the most stressed I'd been in quite some time. But now, we're finally more or less settled. We just have to finish hooking up all our gaming systems, do some cleaning, and then there's just a few odds and ends here and there (like figuring out where the heck to hang the Pride flags), and we're all done!
We've only been officially living here for just under a month, but we're SO much happier than we were in Brooklyn. It's such a great space, and we're both familiar with the area. I'm familiar with the area because I grew up not far from here. Thomas is familiar with the area because he did live in my old place with me for a couple of months before we moved to the city, and that man has the memory of a steel trap. Additionally, we're only about 40 minutes from my parents now, when we used to have to drive almost two hours to get to their house! Of course, we're still pretty far from Thomas' folks, but you'd be surprised what a difference an hour makes when you're driving long distance. We're also not too far from the city. The commute using public transport is easy and not terribly expensive, so it's there when we want to go visit. But we also happen to be sandwiched between a small city and a large town, both of which have great restaurants and fun recreational activities available. So it's really a win-win. We'll have fun no matter where we go!
I'm so excited to start a new life here with the person I love. The energy in this space is so much brighter, warmer, and happier than it has been anywhere I've lived before. I may not want to stay in New York forever, but this finally feels like home.
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dapperappleton · 1 year
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Ok this is gonna be a rant post and it's probably going to be pretty long so just ignore it. I just can't fucking stand this anymore and I don't want to text anyone about it since I feel like it gets annoying and repetitive.
For context, my parents are divorced and I live with each parent exactly half the time. A few months ago my mom moved into her partner's house and got married. My brother and I of course came with. My stepdad has three kids, two daughters and a son. I have never really gotten along with his kids, not for anything bad, it's just that we have very different personalities and interests and also we basically had only seen each other less than ten times in the couple of years our parents had been dating before they got married. To give you an idea of what we're like compared to them, before we first met they asked their dad what sports my brother and I played because all of them played two or three sports. He said we didn't play any sports and their immediate reaction was "oh so they're nerds." Which isn't wrong but like, why. Honestly I found it funny. (We weren't there we heard the story from my stepdad.)
Now that we live in the same house part of the time, I really really fucking hate it. I, an autistic person who doesn't like change, had to leave the house that I have lived in for as long as I remember with virtually no warning. I don't know the area we live in at all and nothing is familiar and now all of a sudden I'm living with four other people I barely know. My mom let me do virtually whatever I want with my room, and I actually like it way more than my old room. That's basically the only reason I'm even remotely comfortable here.
I would like to preface this by saying it takes a lot to make me hate someone or make me mad. The reason I'm saying this is so you know how big of a deal this is to me. I specifically pride myself on being super reasonable and level headed. I can deal with being annoyed and if it doesn't affect me then I don't care. And if it does, most of the time I still don't care. However, I have been getting more and more upset about this practically since I moved here. The bathroom I'm supposed to share with my brother and three stepsiblings has one small vanity with very little counter space, plus a shower, four towel hooks, a cabinet, and some drawers. This is simplified but my stepsiblings are supposed to be here the same times as us except we come here a day earlier. The oldest of them, my stepsister, is basically never here. She spends maybe one night a month here and other than that just a few hours a day. However, my two stepsisters use more space than me, my brother, and stepbrother. In fact, they have seven bottles of shampoo and conditioner between the two of them, plus maybe six more in a different bathroom that they don't even fucking use. All of them are in the shower, they're not extras in a cabinet or closet or anything. The middle kid leaves her skincare and makeup products covering no less than 90% of the counter even when not in use. Her dad asked asked her to put it away when she doesn't need it but she has made zero effort to change. I couldn't put my stuff anywhere because she uses so much fucking space and leaves her fucking two hairbrushes on the side of the tub with her fucking shampoo bottles that don't fit in the shower because there's no room by her countless other ones and I constantly trip over stuff trying to get into the shower. There are always towels on the floor and someone for some fucking reason puts one towel over three hooks regardless of if there are towels already on them. I actually ended up just moving my towel in my room because I'm a germaphobe and don't want peoples towels touching mine or mine getting knocked to the floor. I ended up moving my stuff out of that bathroom and into a different one because I had no room for my stuff. The other thing was there's always a gross mess of soap, toothpaste, and makeup on the counter and in the sink. Just globs of it. I honestly think someone must be putting half their toothpaste in the sink each time they go to brush their teeth. And no one. Not a single one of them. Ever fucking cleans anything up. They leave socks all over the house (which on its own I can get over but not with everything else), they leave dishes everywhere, they don't put anything away. And as an organised germaphobe, it fucking sucks. I actually get genuinely angry every time I walk I to that bathroom. The only time I use it now is to shower and fill up my water, but even then it still makes me unbelievably angry. They expect people to just deal with whatever is most convenient to them. Do whatever you want with your own space, but don't fuck up the common areas that five people have to share. They just let my mom and their dad clean up stuff constantly. My mom doesn't want to reprimand them or anything since they're not her kids but they don't listen to their dad either. They're straight up manipulative jerks to him. The son calls him fat and insults him if he does something he doesn't like. The middle kid never listens to him and yells at him for asking her to spend time with everyone (which honestly I get but she's so rude about it). The oldest one is so fucking unbelievably rude. She doesn't listen to a thing he says. She had him pay for her expensive club volleyball membership under a few conditions and has literally not followed a single one of them. And they're all really basic stuff like not curse, follow the schedule of when she's supposed to be here, be a responsible person, etc and she hasn't done any of them. Plus she talks about how much she hates volleyball now and wants to skip practice all the time.
I really hope one day they realise how awful they have been to their own dad. Not only that but maybe they'll realise how they're rude to everyone else by leaving messes everywhere. They'll be some really annoying roommates one day and maybe then they'll wake up. They better get some type of payback later.
I keep imagining the day I snap and just fucking go berserk and yell at them about how they need to learn to clean their shit up. It puts me in such a bad mood. I always end up angry and grumpy for awhile. They also don't turn off the lights which I thought would be easy to change so I thought about leaving a post it note by the switch saying "how to turn off the lights: step 1 turn it off step 2 that's literally it" but my mom would have gotten upset because she doesn't want me to be rude so I just left a note saying "please turn off the light it wastes electricity." Since then (midday today) it has been left on four times. I decided I'm gonna add more and more post it's until something happens. I told my mom that and she said not to because it won't do anything other than cause a rift. A rift in what? I don't ever talk to them nor do I care what they think at this point. They're the assholes, so why should I care if they get mad at me for calling them out on not turning lights off or leaving shit everywhere. I get why she wants me to try to be nice but at this point I'm so fucking done with it that I don't care. I'm going to college next fall it's not like I have to live with them for years or actually be friends with them or anything.
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transcharliekelly · 3 years
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hi, sorry, this feels like a given and like a post i shouldn't have a reason to make because its so obvious, but like. we understand that sunny has not stopped making fun of mac for being gay right. like they've just shifted from "haha mac is gay but hes in denial! look he wants to oil up men. lol charlie called him gay and he didn't get the joke" to "haha mac is the creepy weird hypersexual gay dude that cant take a hint and is in love with dennis even though he doesn't feel the same way and jerks it to his bible and crashes the office computer looking at porn" like they didn't. i love mac and i'm not at all saying my problem lies with him coming out, but in a lot of ways his coming out was just a way to revamp the jokes they'd been making for a decade or so because they were starting to get bored with them or whatever, while feeding their egos at the same time bc they're like. "progressive". mfhip (which is an episode i do like in it's own way, to be clear) isn't some fucking triumph its them just ignoring the fact that they've turned mac's sexuality into such a caricature for one episode so they can be like "look.... look he did a dance look ! gay rights solved :) look at us look what we did! you're welcome :)" and then immediately go back to like. everything else.
#again this seems obvious like! it takes .4 seconds of critical thinking abt who rcg are as people to realize that mac coming out is not#like. i mean not that it isnt important but its definitely not as much of a hashtag win as theyd like to have you think#but ive seen a lot of stuff lately on here thats just like. huh.#look if everyone already knows this and im just an idiot or missing sarcasm or whatever else then. happy days thats a good thing#ignore me. but that really doesnt seem to be the case for at least a reasonable section of sunny tumblr#even that stuff of them at pride a couple years ago like. honestly it makes me really uncomfortable#and theres a case for 'theyre trying !' maybe but. they arent is the thing#oh also just because i know how likely bad faith readings are here id like to be crystal clear that im not calling it weird/creepy to be#hypersexual i understand the psychological connotations of hypersexuality. im using it in the context of the very common harmful#tropes against gay men & lesbians of an obsession with sex to the point of being driven to massive invasions of boundaries/even assault#that's treated essentially as a side effect to being gay. (commonly known as the predatory gay)#im not sure how clear this is because im tired and a lot of this is taken from tags i wrote out on someone elses post that i took bc a) it#sounded too hostile when they didnt really deserve it and b) it was kinda unrelated. so if you want to talk about this/clarify smt/anything#else shoot me an ask oc :]#ok going to bed now. probably its inviting bullshit to tag this but im doing it anyways#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#ben.txt#rant
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twilight-orchid · 3 years
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How The Demon Brothers React After Fighting With Their SO
tw: some angst with resolution at the end, mentions of past arguments, insecurity.
Lucifer:
This man is petty as hell.
He doesn’t do the silent treatment, but he acts like you aren’t dating.
If you need to work on something together, you’re a co-worker.
At RAD you’re a classmate.
Around the house you’re just a housemate.
His poker face is immaculate and it will not crack when you’re around.
If someone didn’t know what was happening, they’d probably think you two barely knew each other.
However, you won’t notice, but as soon as you look the other way his eyes are on you.
He’s used to arguing with his brothers and is no stranger to explosive fights that end with he and the other person not being on speaking terms.
But you’re different.
He tries to go on with business as usual, but he can’t think about anything other than how much he misses you.
Yet, he lets it continue because he just can’t put his pride aside and apologize.
If you decide to sleep in your old room it’ll both hurt his feelings and royally piss him off.
He thinks you’re being childish and will be pretty rude about it, but that’s because internally his blood just ran cold.
It adds a degree of seriousness to the argument that he’s uncomfortable with.
Yes he’s mad, but he can’t lose you.
If you still sleep in his bed, he makes sure to scoot over to the very edge so he doesn’t cuddle you in his sleep.
In fact, the first night after the argument he’d probably put a pillow between you just to really punctuate the fact that he’s still upset.
I’d say it could go 4 days to a week tops without you making up.
After a point though, he just can’t function until the issue is resolved. He can’t sleep, he’s falling behind on his work, and he’s just generally not doing well.
You get called to his office one night and find him at his desk surrounded by piles of paper, disheveled and exhausted.
“MC, come sit down. I’d like to talk this through. Please.”
Mammon:
He’s so dramatic.
You dare defy him? The Great Mammon can’t believe this tiny fragile human would have the audacity.
The theatrics are just a front though.
His ‘The Great Mammon’ act is a mask for his insecurity, one he hasn’t had to use with you in awhile.
Even as the words leave his mouth he regrets them.
He’s going to be very uncomfortable with everything until the argument is resolved, but most of all himself.
He’s learned not to take his brothers too seriously when they toss insults his way, but words have a way of morphing to belief over time.
Internally he is going to be super hard on himself. 
Regardless of if the fight was his fault or not, he’s going to kick himself constantly for making yet another mistake.
He’s over the argument pretty fast. The anger quickly melts into anxiety.
Are you going to leave him? Do you hate him? Did he hurt your feelings? 
That being said, he doesn’t know if you’re still mad and he doesn’t know how to ask. 
As a defense mechanism, he defaults to how he treated you when you first arrived in the devildom.
Calls you human, disregards you, stuff like that.
If you decide to sleep in another room, before midnight expect him to be knocking on the door.
“Oi, MC. You awake? I just - I can’t - *sigh* Can we talk about this?”
If you sleep in his bed, he makes a point of sleeping with his back to you.
Less because he’s actually mad and more because he doesn’t want his image of you as he drifts to sleep to be a look of anger.
Though as soon as he passes out he’ll roll over and tuck you into his arms on instinct.
I’d say any after effects of an argument with Mammon would be resolved in a day, maybe two tops.
Leviathan:
Arguing activates his trolling the forums mode.
Goes back to calling you a normie and contradicts everything you say.
He’s less mad about the argument and more using the bitterness to cope with how upset he is.
He feels like a break up is less of an if and more of a when.
Why would someone as amazing as you settle for weird otaku like him?
Honestly doesn’t understand why you’re with him in the first place, so when there’s a serious argument he assumes its over.
Tbh don’t know how you and Levi would sleep together being that I doubt two could fit in a tub, but any deviation to your routine sends him into a panic.
It’s his reality check that the situation is serious and he needs to fix it NOW.
He’d have trouble apologizing in person. He can’t think of what to say, he stumbles over his words, and he feels like he’s on the verge of a panic attack.
Instead, expect a long ass text message.
He says how sorry he is, how much he misses and loves you, and legit begs you to forgive him.
If you sleep with him like normal, he’ll probably try to make up after laying there for awhile. His mind is going a million miles an hour and there’s no way he can sleep.
Still really has trouble verbalizing how he feels, so give the poor boy a break and take over the conversation.
He hasn’t had a serious relationship before and he doesn’t know what he should do to make it better.
So the after effects will last however long it takes him to read several mangas, watch some anime, and play a few games to see how the characters get over arguments in the story.
Satan:
Satan makes sure not to fight with you over minor issues.
He’s worked tirelessly to tame his wrath and he refuses to feed into it over a minor issue.
Thus, if you fight with Satan it’s a major argument and it’s explosive.
The aftermath isn’t much better.
He doesn’t want to risk blowing up again, so he’s frighteningly calm.
He’s an absolute master of the silent treatment.
He won’t say a word to you until he’s certain he’s calmed down enough.
For the first few days he’ll straight up leave a room if you enter.
For a good while the only way you can expect to communicate with him is through his body language and the expression in his eyes.
Satan’s biggest fear is losing control and lashing out at you. 
He couldn’t live with himself if he hurt you and he can’t stand the thought of you being afraid of him. 
He’s a whirlwind of emotions, so he isolates himself until he can figure out how to deal with it.
Not just from you, but from everyone else too. 
Satan will not share a bed with you for at least the first night.
If he got worked up enough to actually fight, it’s gonna take him time to simmer down.
And he’d rather not risk doing or saying something he regrets in the meantime.
Once he’s ready, he’ll approach you when he’s completely calmed down and has thoroughly analyzed the situation.
He’s considered both of your sides, tried to pinpoint what caused the disagreement to turn into a fight, and made a plan of action to prevent it from happening again.
“MC? I’ve been thinking quite a bit about what happened. Would you please talk it through with me?”
He won’t apologize for the argument if he feels like he was right, but he will apologize for letting the disagreement escalate into a fight.
Satan could go weeks without making up if necessary, but he tries to resolve it within a couple of days.
Asmodeus:
Wants to give you the silent treatment, but is physically incapable.
He can’t stand to have you ignore him.
He’s the type to go back to normal then suddenly remembers you guys had a fight.
“Wait, no! I’m not talking to you! I’m mad at you!”
His biggest downfall is that he’s so stubborn.
If he thinks he was right, he will die on that hill.
There are arguments with his brothers that happened a thousand years ago and he could still tell you exactly why he was right.
But with you, he realizes that doesn’t matter too him nearly as much as it usually does.
If it means going back to normal, he’ll forget who’s right or wrong.
If you sleep in another room, he’s beyond offended.
“What?! Well fine! I don’t want you in my bed anyway!”
Laying in bed alone is a different story though.
He can’t sleep. All he can think about is you. Your face when you sleep next to him, your smell, the feeling of his arms around you.
He 100% cries.
Finally goes and knocks on your door with wet, glossy eyes.
“MC? Can we talk about this? I can’t get my beauty sleep and my tears are wiping off all of my skin care lotion!”
Will throw himself into your arms before you can answer.
If you sleep next to him still, he rolls over and watches you sleep.
It puts him at peace and he decides seeing your sweet, resting face every morning is worth more to him than the argument.
He’ll initiate the conversation the next morning.
I think Asmo could make it a few days if it was a really serious argument, but he will not function well until you make up.
Beelzebub:
Wants to make up immediately.
He doesn’t like to argue, even less so with you.
Whether he was right or wrong, he blames himself. He’ll take all the blame in the world if it makes you happy.
He’ll go make you your favorite food and bring it to you.
If he thinks you don’t want to talk to him, he’ll leave it outside your door and text you to let you know it’s there.
He’s honestly devastated if you decide to sleep in another room.
You guys migrate to your old room when you want privacy from Belphie, but you almost never sleep separately.
Seeing you grab your pillows and march out of the room nearly stops his heart.
He goes completely numb and silent as he just stares at the space you had just occupied.
Like Levi, he thinks this means the relationship is over and he genuinely does not know what to do with himself.
He can’t even bring himself to eat, he just wants to lie there, lost and trying to grapple with his emotions. 
He’s another one who will absolutely cry, but unlike Asmo he will make sure no one knows it.
If you still sleep in his bed, he’s very nervous about it.
He doesn’t know if it’s okay to touch you, what he can or can’t say, stuff like that.
He just lays there stiff as a board not even able to close his eyes.
Honestly the fight would probably have to be resolved before bed. His anxiety just can’t take it.
I don’t think he’d initiate the apology. Not because he doesn’t want to make up but because his confidence is rock bottom in these situations.
He catastophizes and honestly thinks you hate him.
If you don’t initiate the apology soon, Belphie will. He can feel what his twin won’t say, and he knows Beel won’t approach you about it for fear of making it worse.
Belphie will lock you two in a room if that’s what it takes for you to make up.
Belphegor:
The embodiment of if looks could kill.
He won’t talk to you, won’t look at you, basically pretends you aren’t there.
If he must interact with you he’ll roll his eyes and sigh the whole time.
Tries to sleep through any interaction so he doesn’t have to deal with it.
He feels almost betrayed by the fight.
He thought the relationship was stronger than to have such a huge divide, so he’s really insecure about it.
After the first day, the anger has melted away to guilt.
He ‘s not guilty that you fought, but he is guilty about how he treated you after.
Guilt and self-blame have become unwelcome friends at this point. Guilt over Lilith, over his plans to destroy the human world, everything.
But more than anything else, the guilt for the fact that he attacked you weighs on him every day.
He moved past it quickly after, essentially pretending he hadn’t killed you, but that’s because he just couldn’t confront what he’d done. 
He feels like the luckiest demon alive that you forgave him, let alone  opened you heart enough to love him, and now it’s all in tatters.
Another thing to regret.
If you decide to sleep separately, it’ll hit him like a bag of bricks.
“You - what? Where are you going?” 
It’ll take him a second to process what you were doing, but then he’ll roll over and let you leave.
“Fine. Don’t let the door hit you.”
No one will see him for awhile. 
Belphie sleeps all the time anyway, but he just can’t make himself get out of bed.
If you don’t approach him to apologize, Beel will tell you that he’s been nauseous and randomly emotional which must mean his twin is coping very badly. 
Will beg you to go make Belphie happy again. 
If you sleep in his bed still, the argument will be resolved by morning.
He can’t keep himself from embracing you in his sleep, and it’s hard to say you’re mad at someone when you wake up in their loving arms.
It’s hard to pinpoint how long it could last with Belphie. If you don’t apologize first, he won’t let himself be conscious long enough to approach you.
This is both my first hc post as well as my first obey me post so I’m sorry if le boys are ooc. I just got this idea and couldn’t stop thinking about it so here we are.  Especially Belphie, he was hard to me for some reason. Let me know if you guys agree or disagree and if you want to send a request or ask, my box is open! 
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littlemisslipbalm · 3 years
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I live in the neighbourhood
When Y/N moved to Hampstead she was unaware of the implications the decision would have on the course of the rest of her life.
or
Harry is Y/N’s eccentric neighbour who sweeps her up in the whirlwind that is his life
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this gif bc its maybe my favorite clip of him EVER holy fuck - this is the harry of my dreams this is the harry of i live in the neighbourhood
HEY YALL it’s been a minute and I missed yall so much and I’m just about to be on break so maybe i’ll be back to posting writing regularly but with school its so hard and I think I’ve been working on this for months so yeah <3 lol PLS PLS PLS leave me feedback and reblogs and that stuff bc otherwise my writing just feels...empty and you have no idea the smile i get when even just the tags say like “god this was everything” it can be anything honestly but it keeps my passion up. Thank you again and hope you enjoy.
Word Count: ~10k | Warnings: swearing probably? no smut (yet), rich and famous harry - mentions of Taylor Swif 
-
She considered herself an average young woman in her mid twenties. She liked screaming Taylor Swift and Megan Thee Stallion songs alone in her car and thrifting on weekends. She hated cable because of commercials and when doordash didn’t deliver all of her order. She had asthma when she worked out or the air quality was bad. She had dumb celebrity crushes that her friends and her still laughed over with every new instagram post. She had hopes and dreams she had yet to achieve and she had past trauma that many would never know about, especially at first glance.
Sure, she was successful. She would admit that. How else would she be able to afford even the modest little house she had found in Hampstead? She had studied international business in college and hopped on a plane to London the first chance she got. After a few years of a more than decent paycheck and an advantageous stimulus check from her kind parents, she was able to move out of her starter flat into the suburbs. The definitive push for the move was two-fold. Her parents wanted her to take her dog and her apartment complex was strict on no pets. Then her promotion at work - which included a pay raise - made it hard to wave off taking full ownership of her childhood ten-pound best friend.
So with life happening as it usually does, Y/N first found herself scouring Zillow, then touring homes in the area, and finally standing outside a three bedroom, two bath, two-story cream house in Hampstead. Her house.
The little moving truck she had rented sat beside her as she stared at her future. The realtor had told her they would be there in ten minutes. For the next ten minutes all Y/N had to do was keep herself from combusting, or worse, sobbing.
She felt overwhelmed already. Renting a flat in London was one way to describe herself as independent. Owning a home in Hampstead seemed like a whole new level of adulthood she wasn’t sure if she was prepared for.
After taking a few deep breaths to ground herself, Y/N walked up to the gate that kept her front yard narrowly separated from the sidewalk. She lifted one hand from beneath the box she clutched tightly to her chest to push past the iron-rod gateway. The garden was cute, a little bland, and she thought to herself that maybe she’d develop some gardening skills now that she had her own front yard. The thought made her smile a little, refraining from laughing aloud while on her lonesome, since she had never taken interest in gardening before. But this house. This house. It was a new beginning. It was a fucking unwritten journal. Blank film. Unknown territory. She could be anyone in this house.
She gently placed the cardboard box on the first step up to the front door. There was no porch, but she couldn’t complain. It was gorgeous and she was lucky to get it at the price she did. The house was cream with dark blue accents and a grey shingled roof. Lots of windows. It was classic and it was hers.
After the realtor came with her keys and made sure everything seemed alright, Y/N’s couple of friends, Amélie and Daniel, arrived with their cars filled with items she had needed picking up from various stores. They helped her move her stuff into the house. Thankfully it was already half furnished, meaning she didn’t have to go out and buy beds or couches or any of those big items that are both expensive and a hassle to deal with.
By the time the evening had rolled around, everything was in the house and it actually seemed semi put together. Y/N looked around, sweat apparent on her face and hands on her hips, proud of what she had accomplished. The nerves from earlier had been drowned by pride.
-
The next day, she woke up from her first night in the house. It felt like a dream even though she was sure she was awake.  
She had to navigate her way to the airport today to pick up her dog from his long flight and then mainly settle into the house. Her house sat on Sherwood Avenue, one of the many streets in Hampstead. It’s neighboring houses were much larger. The ones directly next to and across from her weren’t drastically bigger but what she had yet to learn was that next to the house across from her there were two houses that had been joined together by their slightly eccentric owner. A man who would be the match that ignited the flame that was the rest of her life.
This unknown fact quickly became known after Y/N’s first few weeks in her new neighbourhood. The eccentric - more so absurdly rich - neighbor who conjoined the houses was Harry Styles.
The first time they crossed paths she wasn’t even aware of it. It was the day she moved in. He had been out for his usual morning run and was rounding the corner when she had pulled up in her moving van. Once inside his home, he snoopily watched on as his neighbour began to move in. He hadn’t taken note of much about her, just that she was new and that she had a nice pair of jeans on that day.
The second time, Y/N was convinced she needed to get her eyes checked because there was no way that she had just seen Harry Styles key himself into the house across the way from her. There was no way that she had moved into the same area as him, let alone the same street. It seemed far more plausible that she needed a psych evaluation or a strong glasses prescription.
But the third instance of them crossing paths, she was proven wrong. She was on her way back from the neighbourhood park when she saw a guy jogging towards her. With a yellow beanie and a black Columbia sweatshirt paired with running shorts and shoes, he was hard to ignore running straight towards her. The iconic curls, strong jawline, and soft green eyes were dead giveaways this time. After making brief eye contact as their paths literally crossed, she felt herself make a little face of odd interest. Her head quirked and her eyes narrowed, lips pursed with slight confusion. That was definitely him.
After that, she found herself seeing Harry around the neighbourhood a relatively good amount. She’d see him at the park, at the coffee shop, on their street, and more. They didn’t speak. She really didn’t think he would want to be bothered by his neighbours and she certainly wasn’t willing to test the theory. They sometimes gave a small smile of acknowledgement but nothing really friendly. Just ‘you exist and I know that’.
-
Fridays are Y/N’s favorite day. It’s the beginning of the weekend, she never has to go into work and it’s simply a nice day. People are happier, they smile brighter and it just seems like the world is a little better than usual.
Friday was especially amazing today because her childhood best friend, Cate, was arriving at London Heathrow in the evening. Y/N had begged Cate to fly out to see the new house in person and Cate had finally found the time to run away to England for a week.
She shut her front door carefully behind her and placed her headphones in her ears. Rori, that little terrier, who had made a similar flight to see Y/N’s place not too long ago, scampered out the door with her and jumped happily at her legs as she fiddled with her phone. Her coat ruffles around her disturbed from the morning air. It’s blanket-like fabric that consisted of a deep blue backdrop with felt giraffes sewn on it, kept her warm while she walked. With her mind racing with weekend plans and ideas for her and Cate to do both in Hampstead and the city, she crossed the street like usual and began to walk with her dog to the coffee shop for her morning tea.
Unlike usual, she fumbled just as she was putting her phone in her pocket and bumped into something large and definitely not sedentary.
“I’m so sorry!” She blushed and moved backwards from the man who had just been shutting his own front gate to head somewhere.
“S’alright. No harm, no foul.” He looks down at her and her dog. Rori seems excited by the stranger and sniffs him eagerly. A single paw prodding at the man’s long leg.
She grimaces, hearing the voice and stepping back allows her to fully recognize who she had just bumped into. Her neighbour. The runner. Harry Styles.
“Sorry.” She mutters again as Rori continues to prod at Harry’s leg.
She tries to coax Rori away, but Harry simply smiles and leans down to the small dog.
“Hi there buddy,” he coos and rubs the top of the fluffy dogs head, in between his pointy ears, “What’s your name?”
“Rori.” She states easily, Harry’s eyes flickering to her smoothly. Rori makes a smile babbling noise that sounds a bit like a tiny roar - hence the name - and Harry chuckles to himself.
“He’s really adorable,” he finally says and straightens up from his admiring of the dog.
The grimace becomes more of a smile on her face and she mumbles a “Thank You”.
As her neighbour - who hasn’t introduced himself (which wasn’t necessary, but still) or bothered to ask for her introduction - seems to be about to say something new when his phone begins to vibrate obnoxiously. He twitches, his large hands immediately going to his pockets for the important device. He checks the message and looks back at her face.
“Sorry, I have to run...um,” he’s not sure what to say. He really does have to go, but he doesn’t even know his neighbour’s name. He’ll have to make sure to get it at some point in the near future. Especially now that he’s acquainted with her dog.
“No worries,” she smiles completely this time, relieved for the whole interaction to be over. She felt like she was going to explode with each passing moment. In the presence of a legendary musician, c’mon, who wouldn’t be freaking out. All she could think about was how Harry Styles now knew her dog’s name. What the fuck!
-
Upon arriving at the airport, she waited patiently for Cate to walk out of the customs area.
When she did, the two young women began jumping up and down excitedly, Y/N squealing only slightly. They hugged and began chattering intensely, catching up on lost time that generally occurs when you live an ocean apart.  
Finally, one comment rings through the constant back and forth and Cate stops.
“Wait, what did you just say,” she questions as they begin walking to catch an uber back to Hampstead.
“I think my house might be haunted?” Y/N’s voice raising because she’s unsure if that’s what Cate was talking about.
“No, no, the thing after that. I think I must’ve misheard you.”
“Harry Styles is my neighbour?” Y/N’s brows raise as she looks over at her best friend, curious to know what she will say.
“Yes! Explain. Now!”
“It’s not really a big deal. It’s a nice neighbourhood, it makes sense that celebrities of his caliber want to live there.”
“That is not explaining. You have to introduce us!”
As they climb into their uber and settle in for the short ride back to Hampstead, Y/N sighs and tells Cate everything she knows.
“We’ve only just spoken today and I’ve been here for a couple weeks. He lives across the street and down one, I guess. I just see him around, it’s not like he knows who I am. He didn’t even get my name today, just Rori’s.” She laughs lightly, still finding it funny that Harry knows her dog’s name.
Cate nods, leaning in slightly to her best friend, hardly able to contain her awestruckness from the story and baffledness at Y/N’s calmness. “So, like, when do I get to meet him?”
“Girl, I don’t fucking know. Never, if you’re going to act wild. I don’t want the neighbourhood to think I’m not chill.”
“Sometimes…” Cate starts and leans away from Y/N jokingly, “I hate you.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know.”
They both smile, bumping elbows silently. The song on the radio fading in louder as their words die out.
-
The next day, Y/N took Cate to the local park. It was expansive and connected to the football fields that local teams would play at. The park section was a luscious green that was maintained with copious amounts of watering by the township.
She and Cate settled on a patch of grass near a slender tree that would offer some shade if the sun’s rays became too harsh. The quilt they sat on was something her grandmother had made her when she was maybe 8 years old, meaning it was torn in places and completely worn in a different shade of pink than it had been initially.
They set up their picnic and played music, enjoying the sunny day. Something rare and fleeting as the fall began to creep up on Hampstead.
They eat and catch up on life for about an hour. Basking in the sunlight, Y/N had laid on her back and was staring up at the clouds passing along the sky. Cate was carefully watching their surroundings, simply taking in her friend’s new home, but possibly for another reason too.
“Hey, isn’t that…” Cate trails off, trying to subtly nod in the direction of an approaching figure.
Y/N sits up, her hands holding her up from behind her. Her hair fails in front of her shoulders slightly and it’s a little disheveled from being mused in the grass. She looks discreetly in the direction of Cate’s nodding and then looks at her friend and rolls her eyes.
“Yes, but don’t say anything, he might not even notice me and I’m certainly not calling out to him.”
‘Illicit Affairs’ by Taylor Swift is playing off her speaker and as she’s about to change it, Cate turns it up slightly. They share a glare with one another before trying to act casual again, even though both of their eyes kept flickering to the man who seemed to be continuing closer and closer to their set up.
It became clear that Harry was approaching them after all and Y/N tried to carry on an unbothered conversation with Cate, which was hard with the constant nudging of Cate’s foot on her shin.
He stops a mere foot away from their blanket, beaming at the two young women lounging on the ground. He makes an attempt at a casual wave, his large hand splaying his fingers quickly, before opening his mouth to speak.
Cate beats him to the punch. “Hello there!”
“Erm, hi!” He says nicely to her and then looks at Y/N.
“No Rori today?” He inquires.
“No,” she smiles, slightly blushing at the fact that he remembered her and her dog. “He’s napping.”
“Ah, I see,” He pauses, “I feel like I need to apologize.” He continues.
“For what?” She questions and Cate watches on anxiously, mesmerized by Harry and dying to see what happens next.
“I ran off before I could even ask for your name or introduce myself. It was terribly rude.”
“Oh,” she can’t stop smiling, “It’s nothing to apologize for, I’m sure you’re busy. Besides I had to get my day started, otherwise I would’ve been late picking her up.” She points to Cate who smiles sheepishly, still internally screaming over the fact that her friend is able to talk so easily to a celebrity.
Harry nods and looks at Cate again, “Just visiting I take it then?”
She nods quickly, words escaping her. Y/N chuckles under her breath and swoops in to save her friend any embarrassment. “Cate’s my best friend and she’s been kind enough to take time out of her extremely busy life to come look at my new house.”
He hums, still standing a respectful distance from their set-up. “Nice to meet you, Cate,” he says very kindly. Then he laughs, but in a way that is like he’s beside himself. The two women both quirk their heads at him. Y/N squints her eyes slightly, trying to understand the guy she is talking to and connecting him with the man that is all over the news all of the time for his musical genius.
“Now I know your dog and best friend’s names but still not yours. At this point, I’m begging you to tell me.”
They all laugh and Y/N feels nervous for the first time since Harry had walked up.
“You first,” she smiles slyly.
His eyes widen slightly in surprise, but then go back to normal. Harry was very smart, she likely knew his name, but one, she was trying to be funny and two, she was also trying to be courteous. He preferred to introduce himself rather than just be told who he is, even if people already knew. It allowed him to maintain some normalcy.
“‘M Harry,” He says with a smile.
“Alright.” She says and then remains quiet.
Harry’s lips quirk up in a faint smile, amused at her expression.
“I thought it was a ‘show me yours and I’ll show you mine’ type of situation or was I mistaken?” He finally asks when she remains silent still.
The two young women laugh and Y/N bites the inside of her cheek, both feeling flustered and completely in control at the same time.
“You weren’t mistaken, I was just thinking.” Then she pauses again and Cate thinks Harry is about to combust and Harry thinks he’s going to as well with all the anticipation that has been built up over his neighbor’s name, even though he was pretty sure he’d heard it in passing at one point or another but had forgotten quickly afterwards.
“It’s Y/N.”
Harry releases a facetious sigh of relief, “Oh thank god! Finally!” His words quickly turn into an infectious laugh that is paired with a shining smile and she feels like she’s swooning right then and there. The control has gone out the window and she’s taken with her neighbor. He’s wonderful in that moment and she forgets about Cate or the park or anything. It’s just Harry and how it seems like he’s smiling just for her.
“Now that I’ve gotten your name,” he smiles pointedly at her after his laughter has faded away. The smile doesn’t leave his face though, his eyes still crinkled, his dimples still showing.
She nods, encouraging him to continue. Cate feels like she’s watching a movie unfold in front of her and she wishes she could record the entire interaction.
“I can finally ask you, Y/N, where did you get that fabulous coat I saw you wearing yesterday?”
She twitches further upright, eyes bringing themselves directly inline with Harry’s gaze. “Oh,” she inhales, “The giraffe one, yeah?”
He nods.
“I got it from a Goodwill years ago. It’s some vintage company that used to only make sleepwear. I looked up the tag one time and it doesn’t exist anymore. Super cool, though. Wish I could buy more.”
“Yeah,” Harry says eagerly, even taking a step towards the women, “It was so intriguing. Maybe, if you didn’t mind of course -” he falters, losing his courage for a moment, “you could bring it over and my stylist could check it out. I would love something similar and I’m sure he could figure it out.”
She shrugs. It wasn’t crazy, especially not for Harry - she assumed. She was certain he often found things he liked but there was only one of them so he would just order his own. She couldn’t help the pride that was swelling inside her though it that moment. Harry Styles liking her jacket so much he asked where it was from and then wanting his stylist to look at it. She’d jump for joy when she was in the safety of her private home later tonight with Cate.
“One condition,” she says and Harry’s brows quirk amusedly at her.
“You are a very tit for tat person,” he muses.
“Fair’s fair,” she shrugs again and then looks around her quickly, “It’s simple so don’t get too worked up over it, buddy.”
He laughs slightly again and tries to figure out what she’s looking for. When she extends a scratched up, sticker-covered point and shoot film camera he smiles.
“Can you take a picture of Cate and I? It’s always just the two of us so we never have anyone to take pictures of us together.”
Harry grins at this and her sincere face. Cate is a little taken aback, because while it’s technically true, it’s not entirely factual. They have plenty of film pictures of them - maybe not recently though. And she wasn’t going to question Y/N right now. It seemed like she knew what she was doing.
Harry takes the camera and begins to look through the viewfinder. The women scoot closer together and Cate wraps her arm around Y/N’s shoulder. She leans in to press her cheek against her best friend. They smile up at the camera and Harry crouches slightly to get a better angle.
“Alright,” he mumbles, “Ready?...Cheese!”
Their smiles stay hung on their face as they listen for the click and when the faint sound befalls their ears, Cate laughs and Y/N pulls away. She reaches forward for the camera, her hand easily brushing Harry’s large one.
Their smiles meet each other and Cate can’t help but notice how they grow as the two of them look at one another.
“Thank you,” Y/N says sweetly and pulls back to retake her seat on the blanket.
Harry straightens up, his grin falling back into that signature smirk. “No problem.”
“So-” He begins but she cuts him off.
“Well, I’m sure I’ll see you around, yeah?”
He clears his throat, feeling thrown off. “Yeah, sure. I guess next time I see you we can talk about when a good time would be for your jacket to come over?”
His voice raises at the end of his question a little more than usual, he’s trying to get her to bite, but she doesn’t seem like someone who is easily thrown off. He is trying to read her and she’s been completely cool the entire time. It’s intriguing. Even more so than the jacket, even though he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like it, it wasn’t really his focus when he walked across the park to her and Cate.
“Yep! It was nice finally meeting you Harry.”
He feels the cue to walk off and says his farewells. As he walks off, back on course to his intended destination, his head is filled with questions. Most important of them being when he would see her again.
Cate and Y/N watch him walk towards the football fields. They see him meet with a group of men and it seems like they’re there to practice or play a game. Y/N couldn’t be sure.
“He likes you!” Cate finally bursts out.
Y/N rolls her eyes, “Stop trying to make me take the piss. That’s a fucking lie and you know it.”
“It’s not! He likes you and you obviously like him, I mean, but we been knew.”
“Having a crush on the famous Harry Styles when you’re 17 is different than me liking my neighbour Harry.”
“But you like him don’t you? He’s even better than he was when he was 19. Now he’s all grown up and established and more your style anyway.”
“Shut up! He could hear you.”
“He really couldn't, he's yards away, you’re just paranoid.” Cate continues to tease and ridicule her best friend over Harry and Y/N is just about ready to up and leave, but she also can’t help but laugh it off.
“I’m literally gonna kick you out if you keep talking,” Y/N says between laughs and the women feel like they’re back in high school losing their minds over the stupidest joke ever.
“Okay, fine. But all I have to say is I will hold this over you when you end up together.”
“Yeah, yeah. Sure, whatever. Just be prepared to wait forever because I can promise you Harry Styles and I are never ending up together.”
--
Two Weeks Later
Y/N walked to her door after hearing the doorbell ring and opened it to find her neighbour standing with his arm raised ready to knock.
“Hey, Harry,” She greeted easily, but not entirely sure why he was here.
They hadn’t really seen each other since their official meeting in the park. It hadn’t bothered her and it hadn’t really bothered Harry either. It seemed like they both had extremely busy lives that they didn’t plan on throwing out the window because they had said they would meet up at some point. She liked that.
Harry had come over because he finally had a break in his schedule and was hoping to talk about the jacket and anything else really. He was interested in getting to know her and he didn’t care to hide it.
“I was wondering if you wanted to go get a coffee or something?” He asked, leaning himself against her door frame now.
Her eyebrows raise and her eyes widen a little bit, not completely sure she heard him correctly.
“Right now?!” She asked incredulously.
She was wearing an oversized grey sweatshirt and black bike shorts that peaked out from underneath the sweatshirt hem. One of her socks was shoved around her ankle while the other was pulled up flat to touch the base of her calf. She didn’t think she was looking the most presentable at the moment. She had been basking in her day off by simply laying on the couch watching hours of Netflix.
He nods, his smile growing on his face. Her flustered expression only made him happier. She was always so nonchalant with him, he wanted to see her a little more antsy.
“Unless you’re busy,” he adds seriously, not wanting to bother her, just wanting to spend time with her.
“No, no. I’m not...I’m not busy. I just wasn’t expecting any plans where I would be required to go out in public. Let me just...um, come inside and then give me five minutes.”
“Sure,” Harry smiles again as he steps into her home.
Her smile is sheepish and much less genuine then the one Harry holds on his face as he takes in her abode. She tells him to make himself comfortable and then runs to her room to try and possibly fix her state in under five minutes.
She tears around her room, heaving off the frumpy sweatshirt and grabbing a long sleeve striped v-neck top she had hanging out half out of her hamper, a sign known to her that while it was clean enough to wear, if she happened to do laundry she should wash it. Slipping it over her head, she walks to her dresser and leans over to open the bottom drawer and unfolds a pair of dark wash oversized jeans. There’s no holes in them and she throws them on the bed so that she can slip out of her current pants. Next, onto the socks, she swaps out the current ones for a fresh black pair and finds her tortoise print boots to flick on. As she just about runs into her en suite bathroom, she zips the two boots up between steps. A quick comb through her hair, deodorant, two spritz of perfume, her eyelash curler and mascara and she’s running back to where Harry is waiting in her living room.
He blinks surprisedly at her promptness, usually giving people more time then what they say they need. She had indeed gotten ready in five minutes. He thought she looked breathtaking. And she felt like she was at a lack for breath in any case.
“It’s a bit cold out,” he glances to the window.
“Isn’t it always?” She smiles, finally catching her breath.
He chuckles and then nods, a smile appearing on his face as he feels a warmth in his chest at her wit.
“Ready?” He checks in.
She nods, grabbing a coat she kept hung by the door.
“Just the coffee shop down the way?” She inquires as they exit the house and she locks the door behind her.
Harry hums, waiting down a step for her to turn around and walk beside him. It was so strange to her, this felt all too normal with him. Like he was just a friend who had come to pick her up for coffee, her neighbor, nothing more.
“Did you hear the new season of the Crown is coming out soon?” Harry asks as they walk shoulder to shoulder (technically since her shoulder wasn’t in line with his).
“Really?” She looks at him, “I love that show!”
“Me too,” He looks at her and smiles happily.
“That’s amazing,” she breathes mostly to herself, half about the show and half about how Harry watches television and that he watches one of her favorite shows.
There’s silence. The brisk air pricking their cheeks as they walk down their street. Their puffs of breath create a slight mist of white ahead of them and then quickly dissipates.
Her eyes flit up to Harry’s chiseled jaw and face and she watches him as his eyes carefully and meaningfully take in his surroundings. Was it her turn to take a stab at conversation? It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence but she just wasn’t sure what was going on.
“You play football right?” She says finally as they turn onto the next street that would bring them closer to the café they both frequented.
She remembered seeing him there on several occasions. The tips he left were always overly generous, which she assumed you could do when you were exorbitantly rich. He always smiled when he ordered and knew the baristas by name. His order rarely differed and she hated to admit but she knew his two regulars. His actual “regular” was a 12 ounce black coffee, dark roast, no cream and no sugar. The other, his “I’ll actually have”, was a 16 ounce iced green tea, no cream and no sugar.
She couldn’t help that she was observant and that when ‘H’ was called at the bar she looked at what was pushed out, patiently waiting for him to come snatch it up with a smile and nod to the workers before he left. Sometimes he’d even smile at her over the lid of his drink as he exited the establishment. It was warm and inviting and she felt good about the twinkle in his eye that never seemed to waver no matter the day.
Now they were going there together and she’d have to pretend like she’d never noticed what he got as a drink.
He responds to her question with another glance at her and a simple “yes”. His hands shove into his pockets and one side of his pink lips quirk up. He continues, “I’m on a local team with some mates. We’re in a little competition with our league. The final match is coming up this Sunday actually...You should come.”
He says it so casually it almost doesn’t catch her off guard. Harry inviting her to his football game, maybe this was going to be her life now. Going to her neighbours football match. Going to Harry Styles’ football match.
“Sunday…” She sounds out, choosing to look out into the distance instead of at him. “What time?”
“Eight.”
“P.M. right?” She responds quickly, worried since she never wakes up that early and rarely before 10 a.m. on the weekends for that matter.
“Of course,” he chuckles.
They’ve come upon the café and he’s quick to grab the handle to open the door and let her go before him. She can’t stop the blush and smile that spread on her face as she ducks her head into the warm and cozy shop. Men had opened doors for her before and she really thought of herself as a strong woman who didn’t need a man for anything, but something about Harry’s action felt especially, and specifically, chivalrous. Why, she had no idea.
Neither of them stop to look at the menu. They were regulars and they both knew that about each other as well. He gestures for her to go first and she mutters her thanks before turning to the patiently waiting barista. She orders and is about to hand over her card when Harry suavely steps in and says, “Don’t worry about it. I invited you with me, I’ll pay.”
It was both completely unexpected and expected at the same time. Knowing she’d never win this fight, she thanked him again, glanced at the man taking her order and then stepped aside. Harry orders his own drink and then pays for both. Today he leaves double the amount he usually leaves for tip, she assumes since it’s two drinks he was paying for.
“You didn’t have to do that, you know?” She says quietly to him once they’re in a corner of the café waiting for their drinks.
He stands slightly slumped against the wall, closer to her height right now. He only shrugs, his good natured smile not once leaving his face since he entered this place.
“I wanted to,” he said simply right as the drinks were ready since it wasn’t particularly busy on this random Friday afternoon.
They glance outside and see that it’s begun to drizzle while they’ve been inside. She sighs, having hoped to walk around a little after being inside all day.
Instead, they sit at the corner table in the café, across from each other. She moves on from the paying thing, knowing it was simply how this guy probably operated most of his life.
He got a black coffee today, the cold and rain likely contributing to that choice.
As one pop song fades out, slightly under the sound of the coffee machines, she’s about to tell Harry she’s pretty sure she can make his final football match when ‘Cardigan’ fades in. It’s the second time a Taylor Swift song has been playing while she’s been in the presence of Harry and they were conversing. She tries to ignore one of her favorite songs at the moment. Harry doesn’t seem to pay much mind to it. His foot is tapping against his other, but it’s been tapping like that since they sat down.
“I think I could probably make it to your game,” she says finally after a pause and a sip of her own drink.
Harry grins at the response and launches into how great it will be if they win and how happy everyone will be. She smiles along and doesn’t notice the slight head swaying to the song that she’s begun.
“Fan of Taylor?” Harry inquires and Y/N’s face drops, eyes widening cartoonishly.
She stutters, a nervous laugh leaving her mouth before she can actually say something. How does she respond about liking Taylor Swift to a man who counts her as an ex. She’s at a loss.
“Yeah, uh,” she finally starts.
Harry watches her curiously, obviously noticing her discomfort as his question.
“I used to not really consider myself a fan. I don’t really follow her just because I don’t really follow...um...musicians,” she chokes out the last word realizing Harry fits that category. “But, after folklore, I don’t know, this album really spoke to me. I also really like Lover and...uh” she pauses again, sticking on 1989, an album she has argued with her friends about how it’s basically a tell all of the man before her and Taylor’s relationship.
He nods, hoping she’ll continue. He wanted to get to know her and he kind of liked seeing her squirm. “1989?” He finally supplies.
Her blush isn’t able to be covered this time. If her hair didn’t fall in front of her ears she was sure they’d be flushed with blood.
Then she draws out of her own self stress and looks at the smooth man before her and grows calm. He was amazing at winding her up and she didn’t want to seem like some young, impressionable fangirl to him. So, she squared her shoulders and straightened up in her chair.
“Yes, it was pop perfection as one of my college friends liked to say. I’d always listen to it at the gym.” Then she pauses, taking a measured breath, gaining her confidence back. Her eyes meet his, “Is there any songs off it that you particularly enjoy, Mr. Styles.”
He chuckles, mostly because of her emphasis on ‘Style’.
“Shake it off?” He asks.
“Oh fuck off!” She laughs and he joins in with her.
When they catch their breaths from laughing, they simultaneously take sips of their drinks and settle their eyes back on one another. Exes and songs written about oneself weren’t exactly the topics Harry had in mind for the coffee outing he had asked Y/N out on, but talks of exes had never been this funny with anyone else. He was grateful for her playfulness, her demeanor.
“Can I ask you something personal?” She asks quietly and seriously.
“I think we’re past that question, love,” he responds.
“Yeah, I guess,” she pauses and just about whispers, “Pretty much all of them are about you right?”
He shrugs again, his felt coat rustling around his seat. “We never really talked about every single song.”
She leans forward at the ‘we’ Harry is using about himself and Taylor Swift.
“But when I listen to the songs, I hear us in just about every one but a few.”
“Wow,” she breathes and sips her drink. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lived through something that intense and then someone commemorated in a masterpiece.”
“Do you have a favorite on that album?” He asks, moving on from her revelation.
“I love ‘I know places’, it has a cool sound. But I also really love ‘Wonderland’. They both have kind of dark sounds, yet it still is like what you have is so special that the bad bits are worth it. I don’t know, it just seems like a tv show. I don’t think my life could ever be that crazy or dramatic.” She doesn’t notice her use of ‘you’ because she had meant it as a form of analyzing the song theoretically as she had done hundreds of times with her friends,  but this time the ‘you’ is literally the ‘you’ the song is talking about.
“Love can turn anyone’s life chaotic.” Harry muses.
The green eye’s that flashed at Taylor throughout that album look at Y/N from across the table and she feels a flip in her stomach at his tone.
Maybe he notices her mild discomfort, maybe that’s just who he is. But after a beat, Harry’s onto the next topic on his mind. He launches into how he’s just returned from Scotland for a shoot for something so undercover he can’t even divulge to her, much to his dismay. She’s taken aback since she didn’t consider her someone Harry would divulge any of his private matters to, but it seemed like he already considered her a confidant. Just not for that. He wants it to be a surprise.
She smiles and listens attentively. She wonders as he goes on about his interesting yet absurdly lavish life whether he even knows what regular life is like anymore. Or if he’d even enjoy it if he experienced it.
Sure, coffee and football were plenty part of regular life . But the football league was something novel to Harry. He had just gotten to do it and he was thrilled by its normalcy.
She regarded him carefully, unsure what the next step was in this budding friendship. Was it dangerous to get involved with someone’s life which seemed to be filled with whirlwind rigor and constant change.
She liked her chaos, don’t get her wrong. She felt like she often was the odd one out in life. Always thinking differently than the ones around her. She often was the one to suggest spontaneous late night trips around town or exploration of an abandoned building known for spooky stories. She liked inviting friends over for themed parties for no specific occasions and she liked taking film pictures of friends like they were models even though it was only for her and her memories. She thought of herself as silly and fun, but what Harry described as his chaotic fun actually was regimented tight schedules of constant travel and work. Interesting experiences came out of that constant travel and work, but didn’t seem like something she necessarily wanted to get herself wrapped up in.
After coffee, they leave the café and it’s pouring now. Instead of going home, Harry insists on walking her to her place. She relents, realizing, once again, that Harry wasn’t someone who took ‘no’ for an answer. She then invites him in because it’s the polite thing to do. And Harry being Harry accepts.
“Want a dry sweatshirt while you wait?” She asks as she slips off her wet shoes and jacket in the entryway. Harry follows suit, his knit sweater being pelted with rain for the last eight minutes left him feeling cold and shivery.
He nods as he toes off his shoes and ventures back to the living room she had him wait in a few hours ago.
“Here,” She says as she tosses a grey sweatshirt in his direction. She believes it's her one from earlier, an innocuous pullover with ‘London’ in collegiate lettering on the front. He catches it as she rounds the corner to turn up the heater.
Her mistake was being so careless to not look at the sweatshirt before handing it over to her neighbor. Anyone else, maybe they wouldn’t have questioned it. But Harry, how could he not.
“What’s this?”
“A sweatshirt,” she doesn’t spare him a glance on the coach as she fiddles with the thermostat.
“It’s one of my sweatshirts,” Harry says and she can hear the smile on his face.
“That’s impossible, I’ve never borrowed-” Her brows had raised at what he said but now her words fall short.
He didn’t mean one of his personal sweatshirts that she possibly borrowed if they were better friends. No. He meant his merchandise.
“It was a gift,” she sighs as she turns to face him. He’s now wearing the sweatshirt proudly and grinning up at her smugly.
She rolls her eyes when he gives her a knowing smile.
“I didn’t know that it was the one I was handing you. Honest!”
“I thought you didn’t “keep up” with musicians,” Harry says playfully, his fingers making quotes appropriately.
“I don’t.” Her tone is serious as she plops on the couch beside Harry.
“I enjoy your music from time to time. Is that a crime?!” She finally exclaims when she can’t handle Harry’s knowing smirk.
“No it’s not, you could have just told me you were a fan!” She tries to stop him and protest that she wouldn’t consider herself a fan, but he continues, “I still would have wanted to have been friends.You’re one of the liveliest neighbors I’ve got. Everyone else on the street is rather dull.”
She chuckles, remembering finding out quickly that the street wasn’t a lively bunch.  
“I just wouldn’t say I’m a fan,” she presses and sits across from him.
He continues smiling like he knows the truth.
“I don’t think you’ve met an average person in awhile, Harry.” She finally says after they sat in silence for a few minutes because they were both too stubborn to be the first to talk.
“I would hardly call you average if that’s what you’re implying, Y/N.” He nods her way and he shifts on her plush couch, his legs adjusting themselves on their own accord. “And I know plenty of average people,” he adds huffily.
“I normally wouldn’t either, but compared to who you seem to surround yourself, I very much am. And that’s not meant to be a jab at anyone involved.”
His right hand sneaks up to his head to scratch at the base of a particularly perfect curl. His eyes squint a bit as his mind processes her claim.
“What are you trying to say exactly?”
“I’m just curious to see if you’d actually like me in your life. It seems like you want to be friends with me and that’s great, but realistically I don’t know how much I would fit into it.”
Harry scoffs, “That’s literally bullshit, just relax. I’m so chill you won’t even know what to do with me.”
Now it’s her turn to scoff. “Chill?!” She asks incredulously. Harry nods with a seriousness she hadn’t seen before.
“When’s the next time you’re flying off to another country for work?”
Harry pauses, “Um...the day after the final match. I’m beginning to film a movie, so I’ll be there for a month.”
“Busy bee,” she muses and they both chuckle.
There’s something about the somber look Harry is giving her. His eyes twinkled in the coffee shop and with playful winks she was excited to be in his presence. But after she mentions when his next trip is, he seems saddened. There’s skepticism behind his eyes and maybe he doesn’t like being challenged about who he is from other people, especially those who are new in his life.
But that’s who Y/N is, she’s straightforward and doesn’t lie to someone. If Harry was now her friend, she was going to tell it like it is to him. That personality trait she worried wouldn’t make her long for his world.
“So the cardigan? Do you have it here?” Harry changes the subject, clearly not wanting to actually consider a realistic friendship together instead just charging ahead with no hesitation. Whatever happened they would deal with it as it came. Maybe she should just go with the flow, let herself be swept up into his madness. Maybe it would be easier than fighting it.
“No.”
“Oh?”
“I do, I was joking. Where else would it be?” Her tone is light, trying to get back the shine she had seen Harry exhibit before it had vanished.
Maybe that was Harry’s effect on people. He was vibrant and like an Elton John song. You never wanted that shine to go away, never wanted the song to end. Never wanted him to stop shining his light on you. She felt this happening in just a few hours with him. When he was happy so was she and when he wasn’t entirely shining she wanted to do whatever she could to get it back.
A smile curls on his face and his green eyes narrow slightly. He’s trying to figure her out, know what she’s all about.
“Do you want to go and grab it?” His voice sweetening, almost like a tease. Maybe he means to bite his lip, maybe he doesn’t, but the effect on her is nonetheless earthshaking.
She pops up and smiles back, happy to have made him happy. As she walks out of the room to go get the cardigan that had started this all, her head tilts and she furrows her brow wondering why she felt such a sense of pride just for making him happy.
Would this man cause her to finally put someone else’s wishes ahead of hers?
-
“Are you on your way?”
She listens to Harry’s slightly worried voice crackle over the speaker of her phone as she shuts her door with the hand not holding her phone to her ear. His voice is raspy and muffled. She assumes it’s from the cold air of London at night and the scarf he is likely got wrapped around his neck.
“Yes! Jeez, I’m on my way. Walking over right now.”
It’s the final match for Harry’s football team and if they win the game then they get a trophy and it’s all Harry has been talking about since they got coffee and she handed over her cardigan.
Harry huffed an “alright” on the other side of the line and she called a “see you soon” before hanging up.
He was both eager for Y/N to come and possibly meet some of his teammates and a few of his close friends who he had invited and for her to arrive so that she wasn’t walking out late at night alone. He hadn’t known her for long, but he felt a certain protectiveness over her. She was relatively alone here, only two friends at work that she had mentioned and everyone else lived far away. She said she didn’t mind it, but Harry had a hard time understanding it since he surrounded himself with his friends as much as he could and was constantly either traveling or having them travel to see him.
He had even contemplated inviting her to come to Los Angeles with him for a month, but knew she would remind him of her ever important job that she couldn’t just randomly take a month off.
He’d have to ask her what exactly she did because every time he tried to remember, it always slipped his mind.
When her figure came into sight below the fluorescent lights, he breathed a sigh of relief. A grin spread on his face as she beamed at him and waved a bit. He didn’t understand how she couldn’t see how special she was. Every time he saw her he felt himself straighten up and feel a bubbling in his chest. Her smile was infectious and the way her eyes glittered when she looked away quickly and then returned eye contact made him want to stay in her presence forever.
“You made it!” Harry said and scooped her up in his arms, not realizing just how happy he was to see her, swinging her around in a half circle.
She laughs in surprise, but appreciates the warmth Harry’s hug offers her. She’s not quite sure they had ever touched each other before this moment beside shoulder brushes and hand touches. Nothing so...purposeful.
“I made it,” she confirms and pats him on his broad shoulders.
Questions in her mind raced as she questioned whether it was normal for friendships to happen like this. She knew in college friendships could happen this quickly. And that’s when it dawned on her, she really hadn’t made a new friend since college and that was why everything with Harry was so odd to her. She had forgotten what new friendship was. She needed to stop questioning everything and just live in the moment with a person she really liked being with.
Harry’s hands move from her waist and one stays to lead her forward so he can introduce her to some of his mates, as he had promised.
She felt at home in that moment. His hand on the small of her back, his heat radiating off of him and her hair swept behind her ears and her cheek pressed to his shoulder staring up at him sweetly.
She meets Charlotte, a member of Harry’s band who lives in London, her boyfriend, Mitch (who had just happened to find himself in Hampstead this weekend), Ben, and a few more people she couldn’t remember all the names of.
Harry’s team wins the game and Y/N’s not sure if she’s ever seen someone so happy to win an adult league football match. There wasn’t any official trophy except the one Harry had made himself and said he would even give to the other team if they won. It was engraved with the words “The World’s Greatest Football Team of Stars Ever. October 22, 2020”. It doesn’t even make sense but she’d been holding it for the entire night as he played.
He goes down the line of his friends who have been watching and gives them all jubilant kisses on the lips. When he reaches Y/N she holds out the trophy and he grins and gives her a kiss on the cheek. His lips are surprisingly soft and his scratchy stubble tickles her and she swiftly pulls back, a smile on her face and blush on her cheeks nonetheless.
Charlotte and Mitch share a look between the two of them and Ben’s eyes narrow slightly at the interaction. His eyes narrow just as they had when Harry had strutted over to the group with Y/N before the game. He had happily named everyone and she had shaken all of their hands with a warm smile on her lips. Ben had regarded her warily and she had shaken it off as the chill of the night air. But there it was again, not quite trusting of the neighbour girl Harry had just randomly befriended a few days ago.
The team and the friends of the team decide they deserve to celebrate this win, mostly at the request of Harry.
Y/N tries to find a time to leave, to return to her place so she can prepare for her day at work tomorrow. But no excuses will be heard from Harry and she has a hard time saying no to his sparkling eyes and gorgeous grin that she’s growing far too accustomed to.
She’s ushered down to the closest pub with the rest of them and finds herself chatting with Charlotte’s boyfriend. He’s the most...normal. She’s not sure how to explain it, but he doesn’t seem to be regarding her as different, unlike every other one of Harry’s friends. They were all perfectly nice and cordial with her, but she just felt like she wasn’t a part of their group, their world and she didn’t know how to explain it.
Charlotte and Mitch are rather nice too, but they’re more reserved with her. They’re musicians, like Harry, and they somewhat have that air of awareness around them that Harry sometimes gets. She thinks it’s from the fame, having to constantly be wary of who is around you, what everyone is doing, what is happening next. She doesn’t mind it, it’s just not something she’s used to.
She wishes she could just throw back some drinks and she could allow herself to be more...well just be more. More of a presence, more of herself, but she has a job she has to get to bright and early. Tomorrow was Monday and for her that meant work. So she sips a beer that Harry insisted be on his tab and she makes small talk with Charlotte’s boyfriend about how he’s been helping her produce her first EP. Charlotte occasionally pops in when she hears her name, but mostly is conversing with Mitch over something silly. Y/N knows because they keep laughing.  
Harry is going around to just about everyone in the party and she watches as he happily talks with every one of his friends. He’s ecstatic and she wonders if she’s ever experienced happiness like he has.
At midnight she attempts to make a French exit, as her mother always called it, and slip away with little to no farewells, but Harry spots her before she can.
“You’re leaving already?” Harry asks loudly, the euphoria of winning his silly little game and drinking a fair amount of pints has him at his peak boisterity.
“I have work tomorrow,” she says warily, slumping slightly from the weight of Harry’s arm slinging around her shoulder.
He turns serious and straightens up slightly, his green eyes looking especially dark in the pubs dim lighting as they look her dead in the eye. “Let me walk you home.”
“I can get home by myself,” she laughs, shrugging off his hold. “Plus, the host can’t leave his own celebration.” She gestures to everyone else happily celebrating on a Sunday, somehow not bothered by the beginning of the average week.
He steps closer, his brow furrowing for the first time that night. One of his large hands raises to his tousled hair and he runs it through the tresses. He even nibbles at his lower lip as he contemplates his decision. Then quickly and suddenly, he makes up his mind,
“No, I’ll escort you. Can’t have my neighbour walk home this late alone. I’ll just leave my card with Mitch. He’ll settle up the tab.” He smiles at his perfect plan and she grimaces feeling slightly embarrassed that he would leave his friends to walk her home. “Won’t you Mitch?” Harry calls as he grabs his coat from the wall next to the door. Mitch simply nods and Harry yells his farewells, Y/N waves meekly.
“That was...interesting,” she mulls over her words as they walk through the cold night air outside of the pub.
“Amazing, right?” Harry speaks over her less enthusiastic voice.
“You have a lot of friends,” she mused, trying to sound less disheartened than she had in her last statement.
Harry only hums and shivers slightly from the cold. His breath comes clearly out in puffs in the cold night air. Y/N’s is muffled by her scarf wrapped tightly up to her chin. She’s tucked his face as far into it as possible but her nose won’t stop from freezing as they walk.
Her hand goes up to it and she rests her palm to the tip of it. The motion grabs Harry’s attention and he looks directly at her curiously.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m freezing,” she muffles out, “This helps my cold nose not be so..cold.”
He chuckles and wraps his arm around her shoulder and she easily folds into him, welcoming any warmth right now.
After another moment of silence and them enjoying each other’s warmth and slight smell of whatever perfumes they had chosen earlier that night as well as beer and wood of the pub, Harry nuzzles his head above hers and then asks her something.
“Was that overwhelming for you?”
She’s quiet, thankful his eyes can’t reach hers right now. He was too powerful with those things.
“I, um, a little. I just...I just realized today that I haven’t made a new friend since college outside of work and it was overwhelming just hanging out with you. So all of your friends as well, yeah, it was a bit much for me.”
Harry looks out at the empty street ahead of them and sighs in realization. In his excitement, he hadn’t accounted how she might have felt tonight until just now. He wanted to kick himself for not thinking of her feelings, but other’s feelings slipped his mind so easily sometimes.
They round their street corner and she nuzzles back into his side.
“I’m sorry, love.” He rubs at her outer arm, “I didn’t think about it like that. I was just so excited for my plan to come together. Maybe next time, it’ll just be a couple of them rather than so many?”
“Sure,” she says quickly, wanting to make him happy, knowing how much he cared about his friends. “I feel like we need to hang out more with just you before I osmos into your friend group though if I’m being honest.”
“Well that can definitely be arranged,” he says and reluctantly lets go of her body. They’ve arrived at her door.
“I also want to see the inside of your house at some point.” She tugs at one of his hands before it can disappear into his warm coat pocket. “Houses,” she corrects.
“That can also be arranged,” Harry smiles with his lips closed. Pink lips and rosy cheeks extra bright from the cold. He plays with her fingers as the two stand close to one another, happy for the alone time and chalking the proximity up to heat sharing.
“You leave tomorrow right?” She finally asks.
His head falls and he sighs.
“Yeah…”
“It’s just a month,” she smiles, trying to stop Harry from being so dramatic. Especially when there was no logical reason for him to be so upset over not seeing his neighbour - she keeps telling herself.
“Are you sure you can’t quit your job and just fly out with me?” He pleads.
She throws her head back in laughter and shifts closer to him, her front porch light illuminating and shadowing every perfect place on Harry’s gorgeous face.
“Not even a chance.”
“That is a shame,” he takes an experimental step closer and she feels his breath fan across her cheeks at his last word.
She wrinkles his nose at the smell of his last beer, even though coming from him it was endearing.
Just as she feels him being to shift his head closer, she steps forward and gives him a tight hug.
“Goodnight Harry,” she whispers into his ear, “Safe travels.”
Then she’s stepping back and swiftly unlocking her door. She moves it slowly so as to not wake Rori and then Harry’s left alone and dumbfounded on her doorstep.
He definitely preferred being with her alone, but now he didn’t even have that chance until next month. And nonetheless she had just sidestepped his kiss with such ease he’s not even sure if he meant to kiss her. It had felt right, but why? Because it was cold and picture perfect? Or because he was enchanted by her and liked her as more than a new friend?
She slumps in her kitchen and fixes an Emergen-C to stave off the chill of the night and any germs that might have been lurking around the pub. She hopes when she walks to her bedroom she can check the front porch and see that Harry has gone home because she would hate to turn the light off on him.
How could he have expected her to kiss him just then? They’ve only just met each other a few weeks ago? And he’s Harry Styles and she just lives in the neighbourhood. What the actual fuck had happened to her life?
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otakusheep15 · 2 years
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Hey so I've had this in my head for the longest and wanted to know if you could write it!! <33
So basically the demon brothers hear mc talking about their respective sins and cheering them on but they aren't doing anything worth cheering on at the moment to the walk into mc's room and see them losing there mind while watching Seven deadly sins the anime and there responses and stuffs to it! Ok thank you I hope you have a good day, love youu❤❤
Omg my first ask! And I absolutely love this idea so much. SDS was lowkey my obsession a couple years ago so I’m totally down. 
Lucifer - Escanor 
Feels a huge surge of Pride at the thought of you praising him for absolutely nothing
He’ll never admit that though, but it’s totally obvious he enjoys it 
So he’s very appalled when he walks into your room only to find you watching some anime
Has you explain all of the lore and how they portray the sins (particularly his) 
Judges both you and the anime 
Dislikes how the sin of Pride was represented through Escanor, and will make his distaste known
Suggests that you should instead give praise to the real sin of Pride standing in front of you 
Mammon - Ban
Gets flustered at the thought of you cheering him on for absolutely no reason
After all, random praise after a long day of insults works wonders for him 
Crushed when he realizes you’re just cheering for some stupid anime character instead of him
Questions why you’d pay attention to a fictional version of Greed when the real thing is just so much better
Actually sits down with you and watched the anime to see what all the fuss is about
Ban does eventually grow on him, and he now understands why you like the anime so much 
Leviathan - Diane
Let’s be real here, he probably already knows what Seven Deadly Sins is
So he isn’t all that surprised 
Still kinda upset that you’re cheering on Diane instead of him though
That pesky jealousy really shines through at the worst times, doesn’t it?
After getting over the initial Envy he feels, he offers to sit down and watch SDS with you for a while
Secretly hopes you’ll cheer him on someday like you do Diane 
Satan - Meliodas
Is a bit concerned when he hears you cheering about how wonderful Wrath is 
He doesn’t think that’s something worth celebrating
Still flattered you’d cheer for him like that over nothing
Then he walks into your room and sees you’re just watching an anime
Probably the least disappointed out of all the brothers 
He too understands just how hyped up one can get over their favorite characters
Asks if he can sit and watch some with you and finds that he quite likes Meliodas after a couple episodes 
Asmodeus - Gowther
Of course you’d be cheering him on for no reason 
You don’t need a reason when h’s as fabulous as, well, himself 
Walks into your room to give you a reward for such praises only to see you getting all excited over some anime
He’s not super into anime, so he doesn’t understand why you’re getting this happy over it
Especially since the character you are all excited over doesn’t even seem all that cool
Another brother to judge you and your choices 
Tries to drag you away to show you some real fun (his words) 
Beelzebub - Merlin
He’s honestly just confused 
I mean, he’s not one to turn down praise from his favorite human, but this seems like a bit much
Then he walks into your room and everything starts to make sense
Oh, so you’re cheering on a character you like
He can understand that
Often cheers about food cause he gets excited about it
Goes to grab some snacks and comes back to watch with you
Thinks that Merlin is super cool since she’s so smart 
And likes that the show represented Gluttony in a form that’s less common 
Belphegor - King 
Came in to tease you about being such a simp for him lol
Secretly upset to see you’re just watching some anime Levi probably suggested to you
Doesn’t even say anything
Just flops down next to you and rests his head on your shoulder
Now you’re his new pillow and you cannot escape 
In moments when he is awake and watching, he doesn’t mind King all that much
In fact, he can kinda relate to King once the plot with his sister starts up
Might cry a bit watching that part, but you didn’t see anything 
Ok, that was a lot harder than I thought it would be. But I still had a lot of fun writing it. I really hope you enjoy and that I delivered what you asked. 
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wrenhyperfixates · 3 years
Text
Don’t Gotta Work it Out
Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: A particularly nasty fight rattles your relationship with Loki. Even as both of you wonder if you’re not meant to work things out, you long to be in each other’s arms. But can you make amenjds before your hope is gone? Warnings: mentions of depression; angst, some more angst, then a lot more angst, and finally a fluffy ending A/N: inspired by the song Don’t Gotta Work it Out by Fitz and the Tantrums. I’m experimenting with a new style, so flashbacks in italics! Hope you enjoy :)
Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8​ @twhiddlestonsstuff​ @lokistan​ @lowkeyorlokificrecs​ @gaitwae​ @whatafuckingdumbass​ @castiels-majestic-wings​ @kozkaboi​ @cozy-the-overlord​ @birdgirl90​ @myraiswack​
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Disclaimer: Gif not mine
Loki had signed himself up for the mission before the words even left Tony’s mouth. He didn’t care where he was going or what he was doing, just so long as he was away from you. You’d gotten into a fight—a bad one. Somehow, Loki’s way of dealing with it was running away. Whether that was because of pride, pettiness, or cowardice, he wasn’t really sure. Then again, he was avoiding thinking about it as much as possible.
“I have volunteered for a mission,” he told you, the sentence short and clipped as he entered your shared quarters. “I leave at midnight.”
“Oh,” you replied, rolling over on your bed so you were facing your boyfriend. He’d already grabbed his bag and started packing. “That’s nice.”
A small hum of acknowledgement was all he made in the way of a response. He perched on the edge of the bed as he tugged on his boots. Right as he finished with the last buckle and was making ready to stand, your arms suddenly encircled his waist. For a minute, the room was filled with hesitation and quiet breathing, a spell of tension only broken when Loki’s hand alighted on top of yours. Not to say everything was fixed between you two, but the anxious energy in the room calmed a bit.
“Just... Come back safe, ok?” you said, your voice so soft, it just barely registered in his mind.
“Alright,” he whispered back. Your forehead rested in between his shoulder blades, and his thumb involuntarily began rubbing small circles on your skin. “I will.”
How Loki wished for more, for the passionate kisses that you usually shared before a mission. But he knew that wasn’t going to happen now. It might even be wrong considering how mad you were at each other, everything you’d said. Though, if it really was wrong, Loki didn’t think he much would have minded; it still would have felt good. Felt normal. Not like whatever messed up situation you were in right now.
You and the trickster god had been dating for over a year and, as any couple would, had a few squabbles. But nothing like what you’d gone through the other day. Loki shuddered now, just thinking about it. It started out stupid, as these things tend to, but turned into something much more serious. He tried to push it from his mind as you placed a featherlight kiss to the base of his neck. Then you pulled away, hugging your knees to your chest. Now it was Loki’s turn to look at you. His hand hovered above your knee for a second before he lost his nerve and let it fall to the mattress.
“I have to go now,” he said. “Take care of yourself.”
You nodded, and Loki walked to the door, looking back at you one last time. You’d already rolled over so your back was to him again, but he could tell you were crying from the way you were breathing. It made his heart break, but all he could do was whisper a small “I love you” and hope you heard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Oh. You’re awake,” you said, entering your quarters.
“I am,” Loki replied, staring at the fire crackling in the hearth. There was an open book in his lap, and you couldn’t help but wonder how long ago he’d given up on reading in favor of a contemplative trance, looking at the flames. “And you are home now. Are we all caught up?”
“Ok, it’s past someone’s bedtime,” you answered him, catching on to the ice in his voice. “And no, we’re not all caught up. What’s wrong?”
“You could have invited me.”
You’d gone bowling with roughly half the team, only leaving a note for Loki so he knew where you were. You huffed as you tossed your keys onto the dresser. Leaning back on it, you surveyed his face, set in a harsh manner.
“Sorry,” you shrugged. “You were in the shower, and I knew you wouldn’t want to come, anyway.”
“And what if I did?”
“Then, sorry again. You can come next time.”
“Oh, can I now?”
You pushed off the dresser and walked over to him, rubbing his shoulders a little. He didn’t shake you off, but he didn’t relax at all either. You frowned and walked around to the front of the chair, planting yourself in his lap. His arms instinctively wrapped around you, but his face was still stuck in a scowl.
“What’s this really about?” you asked, resting your head on his shoulder.
“It hardly matters.”
You clenched your jaw a bit. You love Loki, but it’s hard to deal with him when he gets like this.
“If you’re going to brush it off,” you said, forcing a smile, “then don’t act so obviously upset and angry. I’m always here to talk, but if you’re not going to, then don’t pick a fight.”
“It seems to me you are the one picking a fight.”
“Yeah, ok. Whatever,” you snapped, standing up. You waited for him to clench his fists or give some sign he was feeling something, but he was as unreadable as ever. “I’ll just never have fun without you. Sound good?”
“You are blowing this out of proportion, darling,” he drawled. “You can calm down.”
“Oh, can I now?” you answered with a smug smile, the petty parts of you egging you on to parrot back his words from earlier.
He sprung up from his chair and approached you fast as lightning. It startled you, and you gasped, walking until your back was against the wall. Loki menaced over you, placing one hand next to your head. He made sure to leave the other side open so you could get away if you really wanted to. You didn’t, instead staring defiantly into his eyes.
“You should,” he growled. “Just invite me next time and drop this nonsense.”
“Wow,” you scoffed, crossing your arms as he made to spin away from you. “Just because no one’s ever cared to listen to you before doesn’t mean you get to make yourself a martyr.”
Your hands immediately flew to your mouth. Loki had shared everything about his past with you. Really and truly, every painful memory. Every ugly, gritty moment. You knew how much stuff like that damaged him. He spun back around, rage plain on his face, and a deep hurt lurking behind his eyes.
“Loki, I’m so sorry,” you said, rushing toward him. “I didn’t mean-”
He put up a hand to stop both your words and approach. “No. I think you did. It is my fault for believing a mortal of all beings could have any depth of understanding, of feeling. For thinking you could love me. The joke is on me, I suppose, hmm?”
He scoffed and stalked toward the door, refusing to let you see the tears in his eyes. He was yanking on the knob before you could even say his name again. The last thing he saw before slamming the door behind him was you crumpling on the ground in a sobbing mess. As he stomped down the hall, his own tears began to pour.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Loki, are you even trying to sleep?” Bruce asked from across the hotel room.
Tony had taken a room for himself and stuck Bruce and Loki together in an adjoining one. Thankfully, it had two beds, but Loki was still a little pissed. Honestly, he’d considered just skipping the hotel and going on a walk, a long walk. Instead, he was laying with his eyes open and glued to the ceiling, reliving the fight in his mind over and over again.
“Yes, Banner, I am,” the god huffed. “I am just not having any success.”
“Is there... something on your mind?” Bruce hesitantly asked. He and Loki were far from best friends, but he figured it would be considerate to ask.
“Actually, there is,” he sighed.
“Do you, uh, want to... talk about it?”
“Yes,” he sighed. “I suppose you are a doctor, after all.”
“Not that kind but-”
“My beloved and I have gotten into an argument, and now I am on this mission. So, we have not made up. I fear we never will.”
“Oh, come one. I’ve seen you two. How bad could it be?”
Loki sighed and sat up on the bed, recounting the story. He did his best to keep the tears out of his eyes and emotion out of his voice, and was met with far more success on the first front than the second.
“Yikes,” Bruce said when he finished. “I mean, they tried to say they didn’t mean it. And I’m sure you didn’t either. So maybe just try to talk?”
“Perhaps. Or maybe we are not supposed to work it out.”
“That’s crazy. Look at you right now; you can’t stop thinking about them.”
“And do you think they are thinking of me?”
“You know what, yeah. I do.”
Loki just mumbled his thanks and flipped onto his side so he was facing the wall now. Bruce went back to sleep, and Loki prayed that slumber would claim him. It did not, and he spent the whole night wishing for you. That he had never said those awful things. That he had never even been given the opportunity to know you, for if he didn’t, he never would have hurt you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You laid on the floor crying for hours. The notion that Loki would come back and wrap you in a hug and talk about what happened didn’t leave you be for hours. And then, all of a sudden, it did. Then you just felt empty and tired. Somehow, you managed to pick yourself up and drag yourself into bed, still in your clothes from the day. You waited another hour, still believing Loki would come back, if even just to lay beside you in the bed you shared and say nothing. When it became clear he wouldn’t, you submit to the tears still stinging the back of your eyes, and cried yourself to sleep.
Waking up the next morning, you didn’t immediately remember what had happened. You felt the empty space next to you where your boyfriend usually was. You listened for the running water of the shower that you could always hear on the mornings he wasn’t beside you. The silence was deafening.
“Loki?” you called out to the vacant room.
Only the echo of your voice answered you. Suddenly, the memory of the night before came crashing back into your mind. A strangled sob escaped your lips. You desperately looked around, frantically searching, begging, for some sort of sign that he’d returned in the night and had just left before you awakened. There was no indication that such a thing had happened.
Moving on autopilot, you found yourself in the shower. You tried to wash, but mainly just stood there and let the scalding spray run over you. Eventually, the stream turned cold as you used up the last of the warm water. You always enjoyed how plushy the towels in the Tower were, but you hardly noticed it as you dried off. Some water still dripping off you, you pulled on your robe. The mirror revealed that your eyes were still a little puffy from crying. Your pruny fingers touched the reddened skin, but you couldn’t be bothered to do anything to cover it up.
“You’re back,” you gasped, walking back out into the bedroom.
He was sitting in a chair, different from the one last night, this time actually reading the book he had. He looked so composed that it made you embarrassed by your appearance. You were sure he was just as much a mess on the inside as you were, though. At least you hoped he was.
“Mhm,” he replied. “And you are dripping on the carpet.”
You looked down where, surely enough, a small wet spot was gathering from the droplets rolling off your body. Everything was moving at half speed in your mind because of how drained you were, both physically and emotionally.
“Sorry,” you mumbled.
He didn’t even really acknowledge it as he sidestepped around you and into the bathroom. A few seconds later, you heard the shower turn on. Summoning all your strength, you managed to get dressed for the day, encasing yourself in your most comfortable clothes. You looked at the door and considered getting something to eat, but the pull of your warm blankets was too great. The bed, devoid of your lover, reminded you too much of last night, though. You grabbed the blankets off and swaddled yourself in them on the couch. You tried to shut out the world and go back to sleep. It didn’t work.
“Darling?” Loki softly called as the bathroom door opened.
You wanted to reply, you really did, but it felt like too much effort to peel your eyes open and will your voice to work. So, you listened as he padded over to where you were. He sighed and left, leaving your quarters silent once more. You didn’t even have the energy left to cry.
Roughly ten minutes later, you heard the god come back in and set something on the coffee table. The aroma of pancakes, bacon, and tea flooded your senses seconds after, and you felt your heart somehow swell and break at the same moment. Loki’s hand softly touched your cheek and caressed it so gently, it seemed he was afraid you might break.
“Sleep well, my darling,” he whispered.
Loki kissed the top of your head as gently as he had touched your cheek, his damp hair tickling your skin. He stood up and, though you couldn’t see, felt him turn and look at you once more. Then the door closed, and the strength to cry returned to your body.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Please, Steve,” you beseeched. “Just tell me where he is.”
“I’m sorry, you know I can’t.” He truly did look hurt that he had to keep this from you, especially when he noticed the tears welling in your eyes. “It’s top secret.”
You were trying to figure out where Loki was, if he was ok. You should have asked him more about the mission; he would have told you where he was going, rules be damned. But you hadn’t, so he hadn’t, and now he’d been gone for three days with no word on when he’d return. You tried his cell phone, but Steve had at least informed you that they had to turn off anything that could be tracked for the mission.
You felt so awful about what you’d said, the guilt gnawing at your heart every minute of every day, every dream of every night. If he were to die before you could work it out... you just didn’t know what you would do. Even if you never made up, you just needed him to make it back safely. Maybe you didn’t have to work it out, shouldn’t. Maybe you were a toxic poison ruining his life. Refusing to cry in front of Steve, you pushed the thought from your mind.
“But he’s my boyfriend. Doesn’t that count for something more than the rules?” you pleaded, the look of desperation in your eyes only growing.
“Sorry, but it doesn’t. Look, it would be different if you were married. What I can tell you,” he said with a sigh, and a quick glance over his shoulder, “is that he’s alive and safe.”
“Thank you,” you sniffled. “I guess that’s something, at least. When will he be back?”
“Soon, ok?”
“Ok,” you sniffled again.
You trudged over to the couch in the common room, trying to spend time someplace other than your room for the first time since the fight. Besides quick meals, you’d just been moping in your quarters. The thought crossed your mind that you were probably depressed, that you should get up and exercise or move about. Despite the knowledge of that, you couldn’t actually muster up the willpower to act on it. Instead, you flipped on the TV and pulled the blanket hanging over the back of the sofa snugly around your shoulders. The voice of Gordon Ramsey faded into background noise as you stared out the window, foolishly and fruitlessly hoping that you’d see Loki’s ship flying in.
“Monday,” Steve sighed, setting a mug of hot chocolate on a coaster for you.
“What?” you asked, slightly bewildered after abruptly being pulled from your trance.
“Don’t tell anyone I told you, but Loki’s coming back on Monday.” Steve sat beside you and comfortingly pat your back as you expressed your gratitude. “Can I give you some advice, though?”
“Please.”
“Whatever happened between you two, you can work it out. I promise.”
“I just feel so bad, Steve. I said something horrible that I never should have.” You bit your lip before continuing, nervous you were oversharing. The way your companion was sympathetically nodding his head, however, urged you on. “And then he said something awful too. And now he’s gone, and no one will even tell me where to find him. Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t work it out. That we’re not right for each other.”
“Come on, that’s just the fear talking. I know sometimes the team grumbles about you guys, but it’s only because you’re so sweet together.” He waited for some sign of recognition that what he was saying was true to click on your face before continuing. “Take it from me, you don’t want to let an opportunity to pass you by; even more so when it comes to being with someone you love. You have to make the most of every moment. But you also have to be willing to work through your disagreements, even if they’re particularly bad. Heck, especially then.”
“Thanks, Steve.” You managed a smile. It was small, but it was also the first one that had made its way onto your face in nearly a week. Not only did you realize you had great friends surrounding you, but you felt a spark of hope that you could repair things with Loki. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Good. Now, want to come for a training session? Take your mind off things for a bit?”
“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m still not really feeling up to it. But soon, I promise,” you added when a flash of worry danced across his face.
He gave a nod and one final friendly pat on the shoulder, then was off. You went back to staring out the window, now gently sipping on your cocoa. It was still a bit too hot, and it burnt your tongue a little. You knew you should wait until it cooled, but the pain kept you tethered to the earth instead of floating away. You also knew what Loki would say to that so, after a few more sips, you set it down to let it become a more drinkable temperature. As you waited, you let your mind be filled with thoughts of Loki, wondering if he was thinking of you too. Soon, your eyes were drooping shut, and you succumbed to dreams of happier times with your beloved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The rest of the day passed much the same, with you pretending to be asleep. Loki knew you were awake at some point, at least, to eat the food he’d brought. Otherwise, he would have flown into a panic that his little mortal was unwell. Or, more unwell than just in an emotional sense, anyway. There was one point where he saw your eyes crack open and look at him as he sat nearby, switching between reading and thinking. You didn’t say anything, though, so neither did he.
“Brother?” Thor said, knocking at the door. “Are you two in there?”
Loki rushed to the door and, opening it, shushed the God of Thunder. He gently closed the door behind him as not to wake you, thinking you may really be asleep now.
“We are, brother,” he whispered. “Why?”
“The team has not seen either of you all day. Is everything alright? Are either of you ill? Or perhaps you’re just having fun in there?” Thor playfully elbowed his brother in the ribs and suggestively wiggled his eyebrows. “Oh, and why are we whispering?”
“Because my beloved is sleeping.” Loki felt a prick of fear in his heart. Maybe he had lost the privilege of calling you his beloved. “We are ok. Relatively.”
“Relatively?”
“Yes. We... We had a fight,” Loki exhaled. “It was not pretty.”
“But you are going to work it out, right?” Thor sighed when Loki said nothing. “Oh, come on, brother. You must talk to them.”
“I will. At some point.”
With some final words of encouragement, Thor let his brother be. Loki took a deep breath and reentered his room. You were sitting up on the couch, twiddling with your thumbs, eyes cast down. He tentatively sat at the end by your feet. Elbows on his knees, he buried his head in his hands.
“Well,” he said to the floor, “are we going to talk about it?”
He felt you flinch at how angry he sounded, while he mentally kicked himself for the same reason. He peeked out from behind his hands, trying to compose himself so he could speak to you in a calm voice.
“I mean,” you said, “if that’s what you want.”
“Oh, and you do not want it?” he snapped, silently cursing himself again.
“Please,” you scoffed, “don’t do anything for my sake.”
Now you were both angry at yourselves, and completely honestly, the other too. When it became clear neither of you was going to say anything else, Loki stood to leave. He spun back around when he heard you mumble something under your breath.
“I’m sorry, darling,” he said in a too-sweet voice, making the pet name sound more like a threat or a mockery than anything else. “I did not quite get that. Would you like to speak up?”
“Yeah,” you snarled, this time loud enough for him to hear. “I said, ‘so you’re really just gonna walk out again, huh?’”
“Oh, allow me to apologize. I must have been making myself a martyr again, hmm? Was that not what you said last night? Or perhaps that was just me blowing things out of proportion again?” He looked down at you as a panic flooded every inch of your body. Loki wanted to stop, but his floodgates had been opened. “But I thought that no one cared to listen to me. Again, I do believe those are your words, not mine.”
“That’s not- I didn’t- I’m not-” you struggled to form a coherent sentence. “I didn’t mean that!”
“No? But it is what you said. Perhaps it was that ever condemning Freudian slip of the tongue? Or do you think yourself so special, mortal, that you care? For I know no one else ever has; I did not need you to tell me that,” he spat.
“You know what?” you laughed without mirth. “You’re right, this isn’t what I want.”
Loki knew he’d pushed too far. His voice grew immensely softer as he spoke again. Not in a kind way, but in a way that showed he was afraid.
“And what exactly, do you mean by ‘this’?”
“This, what we’re doing now. I don’t know what it is, but if it’s your way of talking about what’s wrong and working it out, it’s not what I want. I guess you should just go, Loki.”
Loki hated himself. No, that wasn’t strong enough. He loathed himself, utterly and completely. He slammed the door behind him, and immediately sank back against it, falling to the floor. Neither of you heard the other’s sobs over your the sound of your own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Though Monday was only two days after Steve told you it would be the date of Loki’s arrival, it felt like years elapsed in those forty-eight hours. By some miracle that, you thought with a tiny laugh, Loki would have said was thanks to the Norns, you managed to get yourself into a presentable state. Shower? Check. Teeth brushed? Check. Eyes normal and not red from crying? As checked as it could be.
Steve had promised that he’d get Loki to go to your room straight away. You figured if you two were going to have it out again, it should be in private. Though, you were hoping it would go a great deal better than last time. You could only hope that some time and space was all the two of you would need to finally work through this.
Your breath hitched in your throat as the doorknob turned and Loki shuffled in. The door softly clicked shut behind him, and you tried to quell your worry that your conversation would end with him slamming it again. He dropped his bag at his feet, and for a second, the world stopped. You just looked at each other, both too afraid to end the moment of peace.
“I am back,” he gently said, opening his arms to you.
You took a single hesitant step forward before fully launching yourself into his arms. He caught you with surprising grace, and though he seemed unsure of himself, calmly rubbed your back.
“Can we... Can we try again?” you asked, pulling back enough so you could look into his beautiful, blue-green eyes. “The working things out, I mean. Can we try that again?”
“Yes, my darling.” The pet name had returned to something more gentle, holding the usual care and affection it did. “I’d love nothing more.”
Hand in hand, you walked toward the couch. This time you sat with bodies angling towards each other, already starting off on a high note. It made both of you feel the other was much more willing to listen to what you had to say.
“Shall I start?” he asked, cupping your cheek.
“No, I want to go first.” Your hand rested on top of his and you leaned into his touch. “If that’s alright with you?”
“It is. Please, speak your mind, my sweet.”
You took a steadying breath before you began. “Look, I’m so sorry for what I said. I was frustrated, and I lashed out. But that’s no excuse for it. I never in a million years should have said what I did. It was wrong and insensitive. And I do care for you so, so much on so, so many different levels. I’m sorry I ever made you doubt that. I will spend every day of the rest of my life reassuring you that I love you, Loki. I love you.”
“I accept your apology, and I love you, too.” A single tear rolled down his cheek, but you knew it was from happiness. After all, several tears of the same emotion had fallen down your own cheeks. “Now, it is my turn to say I am sorry. I was unreceptive, pushy, snappy, and cruel. I should not have responded in that manner, and I should have been more open to working through the problem. My insecurities got the better of me, but I promise I will try to keep them at bay. Because I have you, darling, and I love you. And I have no doubt that you do feel the same.”
“I forgive you, too, Loki. I’m ready to put this behind us if you are.”
“Absolutely I am,” he replied, smiling—really smiling—for what felt like the first time in a century. “And, if I may be so bold, I do believe we have a week’s worth of kisses to make up for.”
“The math checks out,” you giggled, leaning in. “I certainly wouldn’t be opposed if you wanted to start playing catch up now.”
“It is like you have read my mind.”
You gave him one quick peck on the lips before he pulled you flush against him and kissed you like there was no tomorrow. Maybe it was because he’d been so worried that there wouldn’t be. But, in the end, there was. Because you worked it out. Because you loved each other. Because you were two hearts connected as one in the crazy journey called life. And you’d always find a way to work through your differences. For, deep down, you both knew you were meant to be together, would always find your way back to each other. There was nothing either of you believed more, and you’d never doubt it again.
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hotdamnhunnam · 3 years
Text
Nefarious Shit
Charlie Hunnam: Lockdown Lovin’
A/N: Here’s a fluffy smutty little fic with Charlie being all cuddly and domestic! 🥰 Based on the below request, in which you are Mrs. Hunnam, spending quarantine with him. He’s recording this video for his fans, but your presence in the room is a distraction—and gets him in the mood for some action...
Pairing: Charlie Hunnam x F!Reader Warnings: smut, swearing, dirty talk, stupidly fluffy fluff, you & him behaving like silly little idiots in love Request: Request 1 (@rochyu) + Request 2 (anon)
Word Count: ~2.2k
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Note: I definitely recommend watching the actual video for context! (It’s less than 3 minutes.) This fic quotes some of Charlie’s lines from it, plus some gifs! ✨
“Hey.”
It’s a very simple word for anyone to say. One of the simplest. But somehow the way Charlie Hunnam says ‘hey’ turns you on like nobody’s business. As he starts to record, he says it with a playful smirk like it’s some kind of dirty word, and makes it sound so hot it hurts, ‘cause he’s a cheeky little bastard.
The word wasn’t even addressed to your ass in this instance. Your loving husband—yes, your husband, be that as it may, you still pinch yourself damn every day—is recording a short video for his fans. Felt the need to condemn some nefarious hooligans, using his good name in vain, for their personal gain. Ordering them to never do shit like that ever again. And warning his fans not to interact with frauds on social media who falsely represent themselves as him.
Watching him from the other end of the room, you’ve never been happier to be Mrs. Hunnam.
Charlie acknowledges to his audience that he doesn’t do stuff like this very often. “So, I don’t usually, um—make videos like this, but...”
While he records you keep distant and quiet; your marriage is thankfully private. No one else in the world needs to know that a humble civilian girl is the love of his life, and his wife, and his full-time cock-worshiping slut.
Speaking of being such a slut... you’re currently wearing nothing but Jax Teller’s legendary kutte. It’s one of your husband’s most prized possessions, hung in pride of place in his closet—he never lets anyone touch it. It’s sacred, and strictly off-limits. But on certain occasions, he tells you to strip your ass naked... and then put his kutte on so that he can fuck you in it.
So right before this little video, no more than five minutes ago, that’s what he just did. You reminisce about it, while Charlie carries on scolding the scum of the internet. “You know—far be it from me to dictate what anyone is doing, other than: if you’re using my name to do some nefarious shit...”
Meanwhile you figure you should change into a somewhat respectable outfit, smiling to yourself as you think about all the ‘nefarious shit’ you and your husband do. The whole world has no clue...
And you have no clue—though you probably should—that as soon as you take off this kutte, to put some proper shirt and pants on... your bare skin captures Charlie’s attention. And just as any dirty bastard would, now he’s already thinking of the next nefarious thing he’s gonna do to you.
***************
Charlie mentions on the video that he hasn’t left the house in a long while. As he says it he looks over at you with a chuckle and a thirsty little smile. He tries to keep it subtle, but it’s hard for him to focus when you’re half-naked and all he can think about is just how lucky he is you’re his girl. In the meantime he’s saying on record how it’s a weird time for the world, what with social distancing and isolation, and how angry he is that people would be using his good name to manipulate others in the middle of such an insane global situation.
2020 has certainly been a strange year. But you’ve been so blessed to spend every damn minute of lockdown with your loving husband, in this house that you’ve made your home, as Mr. and Mrs. Charlie Hunnam. Home is where the heart is and yours is right here.
Your man signs off, sending his fans all of his love. Well, not quite all of it of course—to be sure, the best and biggest part of his heart is all yours.
So is 100% of his dick. The two of you have been fucking roughly five times a day in the midst of this global pandemic. ‘Roughly’ as in ‘approximately’—though fortunately for you, the other meaning applies too, more often than not. After all your husband is a literal sex god.
By now you’ve put on a pink lacy bra and panties with one of Jax’s SAMCRO T-shirts thrown over your torso. So you’re hardly respectably dressed but much more so, compared to when you were in only his kutte a few moments ago.
You had been considering pants but decided against it given that this men’s tee is plenty to cover up most of your skin. It’s all soft and comfy and smells of him. Wearing his clothes as often as you want is one of the thousands of benefits of being Mrs. Hunnam.
But the biggest benefit is the enormous piece of meat between his legs. Which always treats you to the world’s most epic sex.
“Well, that was distracting as fuck,” your man playfully scolds as he slams his laptop shut. Through his grey sweatpants you can see that he’s already hard as a rock. “Good thing the camera didn’t catch sight of my cock. You cheeky little slut.”
“What? Love, it’s not as if you’ve never seen me with my clothes off...” you scoff, with a provocative bat of your lashes as he slowly crosses the room toward you.
“You think that makes the sight of you any less stunning?” he asks as he takes in the view. Although your top is mostly covered by this tee, your legs are bare to see, and Charlie loves seeing his clothes on his woman. “You know nothing, Mrs. Hunnam.”
He then approaches till he’s close enough to place his hands upon your hips, to hear your heated breathing, taste the next words from your lips: “Enlighten me, then.”
Your husband clicks his tongue at you as if he seriously disapproves. You often jump at any chance for 50 Shades roleplay given the role that he turned down some time ago and Charlie is all too familiar with your moves. “Now, Y/N, I think you just mixed up two very separate pop culture references.”
“Then maybe you should educate me on the differences...” you suggest. Of course you’re well aware that Christian Grey and Jon Snow are two very different men, and Charlie knows that but it’s fun for you to both pretend. “You’re the movie star, after all. What does this so-called ‘enlightenment’ involve?”
He smiles and shakes his head, referring back to the first time that he played Mr. Grey in the bedroom as if you could ever forget. “I’ve already given you a lesson in proper submission.”
“Well, I guess I didn’t listen.”
“I doubt that,” he purrs, suddenly reaching to rip the shirt off of your shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. “You look prettier without that.”
You hadn’t resisted at all but it’s fun to pretend that you had. Scowling at him as if you’re mad, you then reach up and tap your palm against the top of his head with a patronizing pat. “Well, you looked better with the hat.”
Charlie gasps as if appalled, insulted to the core of his soul. “Hey, that’s not fair...!”
“I told you to do something with your hair,” you remind him of the brief conversation you’d had before he recorded. Acting as if you’re seriously scolding him though you both know you’re not at all. “Or at least to keep that fucking hat on over it. Instead you showed up looking like a chicken with that ridiculous tuft sticking out at the back of your head, and then admitted to the world you need to get your hair sorted.”
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There’s a mirror on the wall nearby, and you gesture toward it, so that Charlie can see with his own two eyes. He realizes he really does look like the world’s sexiest chicken. “So what, now looking like a chicken is a sin?”
“Of course it is.”
He flashes you a precious pout, knowing you’ll be desperate to kiss it off his mouth. “But you once told me I could strut around in a potato sack and still look gorgeous.”
It’s all too true yet you refuse to take the bait. Instead decide to make him wait. “I just said that to butter you up so you’d marry me, sucker.”
“Motherfucker—!” Charlie gasps again, as you start running away from him flapping your arms like a chicken.
You laugh back at him. “More like motherclucker!”
The two of you are very adult—perhaps to a fault—when it comes to the hot filthy sex that you have with him. Honestly filthy as hell. But when it comes to foreplay and teasing and everything else... you are literally just a couple of overgrown idiot children.
Charlie chases you all through the halls and downstairs to the kitchen. “Don’t tempt me into punishing you!”
Needless to say you want him to. “Oooh, you mean with that big cock-a-doodle-doo?”
He finally catches you as you run to the living room, your laughter picking up in volume, pinning you down to the sofa as he ruins you with his icy blue stare. “Shut up about the fucking hair.”
His hands are so close to your neck and you just wish that he would put them there and squeeze. “Mmm, but you’re so much fun to tease...”
Instead of choking you, he drops his hands down toward your chest, tracing the lacy fabric of your bra to grab your breasts, tenderly stroking you. “I bet you think this is when I say to get on your fucking knees.”
You moan at the touch of his talented fingers, begging in a breathless whisper. “Fuck, yes please...?”
“No,” he responds, so brutally denying what his woman wants. “For once, that’s not how this is gonna go. Sit up.”
He props you comfortably in position, amidst all the cushions. Ignoring your urge to get down on the floor, in submission, serve him as his cocksucking whore. Play your usual role as the good little slut. “But—”
“Stay up,” he interrupts. “I don’t wanna play rough. Today I’m feeling soft.”
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“Well, that’s a lie...” you reply, lowering your eyes, one hand reaching to graze the prize bulging between his thighs.
“Hands off the merchandise. Let me indulge in playing nice.”
“But whyyy?” you protest with a sigh. “I’ve been such a bitch, hoping that I would get punished for it...”
Your man just shakes his gorgeous chicken-haired head. “You mean rewarded. There’s no point in getting punished when you’re gunning for it.”
Well, fuck him for being so fucking correct. “Charlie...”
“Shhh,” he hushes you softly, as you realize that this is how you’re getting punished: he hears your inner cockslut loud and clear but is determined to ignore it. “Just lie back and let me love this body that belongs to me. Admire and adore it.”
And at those words off of his lips, which he seals with a loving kiss... you lose all power and desire to resist. You’re so completely fucking his. As eager as you always are for rough and filthy sex—as much as part of you will always want to beg—you’re equally obsessed with this. Getting lost in his touch, sweet kisses and caresses from the man you love so much, drowning in the pure magic of romantic bliss.
You love each other so much it’s ridiculous. Hilarious. Downright nefarious.
Within seconds both of your clothes are gone, like they were never even on. His every move is slow yet sudden all at once. The warmth of his soft lips and tongue lavishing love across your chest, his mouth latching around your breast, two fingers slipping in the hot flood of your cunt. Thumb playing with your swollen clit, as he keeps passionately sucking on your tits. 
Time fucking bends, seconds to minutes, hours even, as your man descends, until his mouth is where his hand had been—when did that even happen?—every inch of his tongue sending you to heaven. Soon enough he seamlessly replaces his mouth with his cock, and by then... fuck, you’re honestly done. So far gone. He never has to ask to know exactly what you want, because he’s everything you want. And need and love.
As mind-blowing as Charlie is at playing rough, he’s just as good at being soft. He’s all about the fluff and stuff. One tender hand sweeping a strand of hair behind your ear, the other reaching down to pull you near.
There are so many words he doesn’t have to say for you to hear. 
Just how grateful he is, that you are his. To have you here. It’s been a weird and crazy year—so fucking weird—and heavy with the weight of blood and tears, the whole world literally plagued with pain and fear. But the love that you share with your husband, is the one thing that’s always constant, true and clear.
And the love he makes... cradles your heart till it’s so full it aches, fucking breaks, as your whole body quakes and the earth fucking shakes. Knowing that he will spend all his life putting every last piece into its perfect place, and holding it together whatever it takes.
It’s not fair that a man like this even exists. Let alone that you’re so fucking blessed to be his. It’s some serious, downright nefarious shit. Gazing up into his eyes of endless blue, you realize for the thousandth time no girl in all the world is luckier than you.
And of course once this session of soft tender loving is through—then, to make all your deepest and dirtiest dreams cum true... there are at least fifty thousand shades of filthy shit your nefarious husband can do.
***************
Hope you enjoyed this, and would love to hear if you did! 🤗💖
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322 notes · View notes
floraliaison · 3 years
Text
[ melodrama ] ― track i | homemade dynamite
political au. ushijima wakatoshi x fem! reader.
3.1 k 
masterlist. next.
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If there’s any one word you would prefer people to describe you as, it would have to be unquestionably loyal.
After all, it’s just past seven, and you haven’t yet drunk enough whiskey as you would like to, but when Oikawa tells you about a new guy you must hate, you don’t even think twice before agreeing.
He shifts the drink in his hand, ice cubes clinking together while he side-eyes the group of men from across the veranda, no doubt burning holes into the back of his intended target’s head as he mutters, “And there he is.”
You whip your head to the right, not caring enough about subtlety because this is your house and you can and will look at whoever you damn please.
His directions don’t really help much, you soon realize, because there are a hundred and one of Eita’s friends huddled around the end of the buffet table where the drinks are located.
“There are a bunch of ‘he’s over there, Oiks. Which one?” you hiss under your breath, craning your neck to see if you can pick anyone out from the crowd.
There’s Leon, Kenjiro, Hayato, and a handful of other people you recognize but can’t recall the names of. All that matters is that they’re all annoying, and they’re all here.
You’d think Oikawa’s taste in men has improved in the six years you’ve been gone, but if he actually says it’s one of them then you’ve apparently thought wrong.
“The tall one, Y/N,” Oikawa says as though this is the most obvious thing in the world. His rings glint in the dim light as he discreetly points at one in the far back. “The one with the white jacket.”
Finally, you spot whoever it is he’s referring to, and the next thing out of your mouth is a crisp “What the fuck?”
Oikawa snorts in derision – why he would when he’s the laughingstock in this particular situation, you’ll never know, but that still doesn’t stop you from echoing the sound back.
“I leave my best friend alone for a few years, and when I come back you’re suddenly all broken-hearted about Ushijima Wakatoshi?” You say, equal parts incredulous and disappointed. Said best friend only shrugs in response, chugging the rest of his rum before slamming the empty glass down on the table.
“Save it, princess. Iwa’s already lectured me about the whole ‘you have terrible taste’ and ‘you should stop going after guys who you know are only going to break your heart’ thing,” he shoots back, his use of air quotes telling you that no, he didn’t – and probably still doesn’t – follow Iwaizumi’s advice. You roll your eyes, comeback already on the tip of your tongue, when —
“Hold on,” the boy next to you suddenly sits up straight, eyes wide open and staring at you. “How come you know him?”
“Well who doesn’t know him?”
Although you deliver it in a way that comes off as mildly sarcastic, all of his prominent social, athletic, and political embellishments have served to establish Ushijima Wakatoshi as a household name; both in Tokyo and throughout the rest of Japan.
But while that’s true, you for one can’t say that you know the man in the way that Oikawa is implying. Despite belonging in the same political circle, what with both your fathers’ professions, you have yet to properly interact outside of the social niceties required for the few parties and fundraisers you’ve seen him at.
From what you are able to discern the first few times you have been able to talk to him though, you are one hundred percent certain that you disliked the man to an almost frightening degree. His stoicism, apparent indifference and boundless pride rub off of you the wrong way, and you’ve been actively ignoring him at every meeting afterwards.
Your friend lets out another snort – you’ve half a mind to change his contact name to horse at this point – while you raise an eyebrow at his accusatory finger-wagging, almost daring him to say what’s so clearly on his mind.
Because despite wearing a short white number to stave off the summer heat that dominated the venue just hours prior, you have absolutely zero qualms about giving Tooru a thorough beat-down if necessary.
“There you guys are.”
Someone plops down into the vacant seat to your left, and when you turn to see a familiar, non-douchey face, you break into a smile.
“Hey, Haji,” you greet Iwaizumi as you lean against his side.
The faint blush that spreads across Oikawa’s face doesn’t escape you when you sneak a glance at him. Despite having his mind preoccupied by Ushijima, it looks like the brunette still hasn’t let go of his little crush on the final member of your trio. ��Iwa-chaan, we waited forever. What took you so long?”
“Got lost, your house is fucking huge Y/N,” Iwaizumi explains, setting down his glass of his newest alcoholic concoction as he rolls up the sleeves of his dress shirt. “Good thing I ran into your brother, few more minutes and I would’ve lost my mind in there.”
You snicker at him, a low mumble of “and you claim Tooru’s the stupid one” escaping you because honestly, your house isn’t that big. He might just not admit it but it’s common knowledge that Hajime’s a bit... directionally challenged, to say the least.
Ignoring the glare he sends your way, you nonchalantly pick up his drink and take a sip. “Ah, very nice. You really should consider bartending, Haji, you’ve got the talent for it,” you remark, handing Oikawa the glass for him to taste. 
Iwaizumi’s skill in mixing spirits was one the three of you discovered during one of your first parties, when you and Tooru had complained about how shitty the drinks were. Hajime, in a true gentlemanly fashion, had grabbed a couple of bottles off the counter and kept the two of you well-provided for for the remainder of the event. (and for every other event that came after it.)
The spiky-haired lawyer only rolls his eyes at your words, plucking the crystalware out of Oikawa’s hands before he could finish it off amidst the latter’s ungodliest of whines. “What were you doing anyway? Looked like you were discussing some deep stuff when I came in.”
You separate from him, putting your hands on your hips and adopting a haughty tone, “We are slandering Ushijima Wakatoshi, and his ways of ill-repute. You, by declaration of the Mistress, which is me, and by Friendship Code 70040, is hereby required to join as well.”
“I’ll pass, Wakatoshi’s cool,” Hajime comments around a sip of alcohol, and the casual use of Ushijima’s first name is enough to give you pause.
“Okay, first of all how are you on a first name basis with him and second, you’re a guy.” you exclaim, throwing your hands up for emphasis. “Of course you’d think that!”
“First question: I worked with him for a bit two years ago, not gonna say anything more because company rules, but we talked and he’s really nice,” Iwaizumi holds up two fingers. “Second, sure I am, but even your brother thinks so, too.”
“The world doesn’t just consist of Eita.”
“Alright, you both better shut it because the topic of your very heated conversation is heading right here,” Oikawa interrupts, poking you in the side and sending a look at Iwaizumi.
You groan in response and shake your head. Even during your time abroad, you’ve been unable to escape his presence; from the posters promoting his team for the 2014 World League to the numerous brand advertisements three years later, Wakatoshi was everywhere.
But - and you’ll never admit to this out loud, not ever - even though all you’ve seen of him was in print, on the television, and in the occasional social media update, you could never deny the fact that the man was handsome.
Tooru is attractive, as evidenced by the sheer number of his admirers in high school, Hajime has received his own fair share of confessions and Valentine’s Day chocolates, and you have to admit that your brother is objectively good-looking as well.
And while it’s a confession you have to make under duress, Wakatoshi is a completely different case altogether. You’d thought you were stunned when Miya Atsumu came to your offices to help promote the newly rolled-out banking app, but even he can’t really compare.
Nothing can really do with perfectly gelled olive hair, pristine three-piece suit slightly strained against a muscular build, and the undeniable aura that exuded power and demanded respect.
One would have to be practically blind not to feel attracted to Ushijima (but even then, you think that the timbre of his voice can still make anyone weak in the knees), but because you have no shame and are definitely not above pettiness, you maintain a disgusted-looking sneer as you watch him make his way to your table.
“Hey Toshi,” Oikawa says, the red from before making a reappearance as he takes in the newcomer with eager eyes.
“Good evening, Oikawa,” Ushijima replies, but it’s clear that his attention is focused elsewhere; namely, on you.
Your skin crawls at the weight of the stare he’s pinning on you, but you veto the urge to flip him off right then and there because that would be against proper decorum. Your patience is running thin though, and he needs something else to stare at immediately or so help him God you will do it.
“Wakatoshi,” Iwaizumi intervenes, bless him, and offers a hand towards the taller. “It’s been a long time.”
“Hajime,” Ushijima grasps the appendage and gives it a firm shake, but his gaze still hasn’t left you. ”It’s good to see you.” 
“Yo Ushiwaka! Get back over here!” One of the miscreants across the veranda calls out, standing beside what seems to be a set-up for a round of beer pong. You can’t help but make a face when you catch sight of it because what did they think this was, some messy Saturday night college party? These guys really had no taste.
Ushijima finally turns around to head back to his friends, but not without shooting you one last cursory glance over his shoulder; a glance that you dutifully avoid despite every single cell in your body pushing you to return it and have him catch sight of the hellfire burning in your gaze for doing whatever it is that he did to Tooru.
Because damn it, no one hurts your friends or family and gets away with it. Not even over your dead body, because God knows you will rise from the dead just to get retribution on their behalf.
The minute Wakatoshi’s out of earshot, you scoff into your glass of whiskey, hastily downing it in one go because you’d need more of it in your system if you wanted to survive tonight with him around.
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In the entirety of your 26 years, never have you once thought yourself as unlucky. Horribly ill-timed, sure, but unlucky? Nope.
Or at least, not until tonight.
“If it isn’t Miss Semi,” a smooth baritone sounds from behind you, nearly causing you to drop the container you’re holding in surprise. “Good evening.”
You seethe, ready to give the person a piece of your mind for almost being the (however indirect) culprit to the destruction of a 20-year old piece of china, and you have the gall to be so confrontational because you actually know who it is. Only one person in this entire house can be in possession of a voice that deep.
True enough, when you turn, it is Ushijima Wakatoshi who stands at the entrance to your kitchen in all of his six-foot-three glory, eyebrow cocked in a perfect arch as he regards you. He’s holding an empty wineglass in his left hand, and it looks like he’s come in here to have it refilled.
You aren’t sure what exactly about the situation brings all the blood rushing to your face; be it the anger you feel at seeing him so callously walk into your kitchen like he owns it instead of going to the refreshments table outside, or the feeling of something else at the sight of him in only his deep purple dress shirt; sleeves rolled up and top two buttons undone.
That, along with the fact that his hair is now slightly tousled, leaves you thinking that he looks positively sinful, if not for the smirk that’s painted on his stupid face. That one tiny detail pushes you to choose the first, and safer, option.
You roll your eyes.
“Yes, hello Ushijima,” you respond drily, slamming the cabinet shut to punctuate your tone. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
He simply raises the glass in his hand in response, and you are unable to get a biting comment in about how he should instead look for a refill outside instead of in here like some privileged dick when he speaks.
“Congratulations on the announcement,” he begins, stepping beyond the threshold and into the kitchen, thick carpet muffling the sounds of his polished Italian leather shoes as he makes his way towards you.
When he gets dangerously close to the boundary of the minimum three-feet you need to have between you and him at all times, you briefly consider getting violent and chucking the bowl at him just to be done with it, but he seems to have other plans when he stops by the marble island, a full one inch away from your protective perimeter.
Looks like your grandmother’s favorite crucible will live to see another day.
You see him eye you expectantly from his position, and realize that you’ve yet to respond to his statement. “Thank you. I understand that the same is in order for you as well, what with your succession of Madame Junko’s position.”
He nods, less confirmatory and more ‘I’ve found your answer satisfactory,’ and you cannot suppress the white-hot lance of annoyance that shoots through you at the memory that comes barrelling along with the simple gesture.
Suddenly, you’re both no longer OS Post Holdings or The Ushijima Telegraph and Telephone Corporation’s newly appointed presidents and CEOs, but mere fifteen year olds attending middle school at the same time.
Ushijima has always been the star student, and while your father has pushed you to make friends with the quiet boy, you’ve never found it in yourself to brush aside the vast difference present in the way he looks at Wakatoshi, with eyes and gestures full of a soft sense of pride, and then at you, all strict words and interactions that feel more business related than anything else.
You’re not stupid, never was and never will; you know that your father wanted a son to follow in his footsteps. And although he had twins - a girl and a boy - he saw Eita as more of a disappointment because of his unwillingness to live the life the patriarch of the family wanted him to.
So while your brother pursued his dreams in the music industry, you were left to shoulder the responsibility that came with the Semi family name. You studied rigorously, honed your talents, and polished your social skills until you shined, determined to be the brightest gem in the industry and the daughter your father would be proud of.
But even though you were not stupid, you were definitely naive. Naive to have thought that he would be satisfied with what he had, naive to have thought that he wouldn’t look somewhere else to fulfill his own personal dreams.
And that’s how you first met Ushijima, the son of Governor Utsui and your father’s new protegee, as he so proudly told you over dinner with him one Thursday night.
The only thing that kept you from breaking down then were the years spent at etiquette lessons, so you settled instead on gripping your silverware until your knuckles turned white. You could feel Eita’s eyes on you from across the table, and you didn’t have to look to know that they were apologizing for something that he didn’t even do.
The other two males in the room seemed oblivious to your imminent spiral, happily talking with each other and discussing whatever it is that they deemed important, and the fire in your heart that burned for the olive-haired boy grew into a full-fledged inferno.
That day marked the beginning of your lifelong grudge against Wakatoshi, and you still haven’t given it up to this day.
“Attention! I would just like to thank everyone for coming tonight -”
Your dad’s booming voice is what breaks you out of your reverie, and you realize that you have been staring - glowering, really - at the object of your ire for far too long than what can be deemed normal.
An open bottle of Romanée-Conti rests on the countertop by his elbow, and his previously empty wineglass is now half-full, the deep red liquid catching the fluorescent lights as he idly swirls it around.
Much like his wine, there is also something swirling in his sharp eyes, but you neither need to or wish to know what it is. You let out a disgruntled huff before heading out to the living room, shooting him one final glare as you round the corner and disappear.
Wakatoshi sighs to the empty room before he too, decides to head on out and meet with Representative Semi - your and Eita’s father - to offer him his congratulations.
He finishes the drink in his hand, wine tasting oddly bittersweet as it goes down his throat, and as he exits the kitchen, he wonders for the nth time that night how come you seemed to hate him with such a passion.
He’s not stupid, not like the way everyone seems to think he is just because he’s blunt, but if it’s taken him this long to realize that your feelings towards him go much deeper than a simple dislike, then he thinks that he may never find out the real reason as to why.
The thought doesn’t deter him though, and when he catches sight of the back of your head while you talk animatedly to Oikawa Tooru, laughing your heart out as though you weren’t staring daggers at him just minutes ago, he thinks that he will gladly spend a lifetime figuring you out.
You are a mystery to him, and one that he will stop at nothing to crack.
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[ note ]  ― and there we have it! first time we’re meeting the cast, and if the overly zealous descriptions about ushi isn’t enough to display how whipped i am for him then probably nothing ever will. hope you all like this one as much as i loved writing it <3
also this is dedicated to @cafemiya​ for giving me the push i needed to make this entire series. hi issy i love you bae 🥺💖
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sevenmikento · 3 years
Note
Eeee good! I've had this brain rot in my head since I realized I had a crush on Kageyama v.v
But like, a sweet/angst kinda thing where Kageyama might have had a crush on you in high school but he just couldn't process it. So graduation happens, everyone's personal growth into adulthood happens and you stay close as friends. But there's a moment when Kageyama asks if you'd be willing to catch up. Of course you say yes he's your friend. And it's then Kageyama just blurts out that he's always liked you. He feels stupid it took him this long but your the one thing that always felt off when he was traveling an becoming a part of the Schweiden team. Anyways I'm sorry this is wordy and stupid you don't have to do it or anything I just have Kageyama brain rot >.<
Love your stuff,
Jujutsu Curses ❤❤❤❤❤
A/N: *rises from the grave* HELLO!! i finally have the time and energy to write and i shall begin with this banger of a request uwu Kageyama was legit my first haiku love and i wanna kith his forehead thank u
@tobios-housewife
genres: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, happy ending!!; 2.1k words
a long time [Kageyama Tobio X Reader]
He can’t help but fiddle with the half-empty mug sitting in front of him, his eyes darting over to the front door of the cafe every few seconds as he taps his foot on the ground. The rapid pace of his tapping is rivalled only by the wild thumping of his heart.
Kageyama Tobio glances at the entrance of the establishment once more, catching a stranger staring at him from the corner of his eye. They glare and his foot stops automatically—the awareness that was required of him is something he did not possess in his growing years and even now, as an accomplished adult, the instinct to abide by society’s unwritten social rules still catches him off guard sometimes.
He lifts the mug to his lips and takes a short sip of the piping hot beverage. You’d texted him that you were going to be slightly late and yet he couldn’t help but purchase his usual order first, the anxiety of what he’d set out to do today too much to handle without something—anything—to fiddle with. Of course, he has his volleyball in his gym bag but he knows he’ll only receive odd stares if he resorts to randomly touching it while waiting for you.
The athlete wonders—the racing of his mind akin to that of when he’s in a heated match—if he would be aware of such social nuances had it not been for your presence in his life.
You were—and honestly still are—a force to be reckoned with; someone he never imagined befriending in high school and yet you’d walked right into his life (and his heart), took a seat and never left.
“You’re good at that,” you said, watching from the entrance of Karasuno’s volleyball gym. It was nothing he hadn’t heard before.
As the ball bounced away from the toppled-over plastic bottle on the other side of the net, all he could do was stare at the ground near your feet, speechless. He wasn’t expecting anyone to come in on a Sunday, let alone talk to him out of nowhere.
“You’re supposed to say ‘thanks’, you know?” you told him in a tone that he knew was supposed to be lighthearted.
“Why?” he replied anyways, not sure how he should have responded to your joke.
You laughed and while Kageyama felt that he should have been insulted to some degree, instead, he found himself smiling.
Thinking back, he only now realises it was a smile of relief; you weren’t frustrated or annoyed by his dry and awkward reply, although it would’ve been understandable if you were (especially as the two of you were still teens) but you weren’t and he appreciated it.
He still appreciates it.
“No, dude, it’s 65 because of the ‘x’ here, see? It would be 127 if it had been there instead, though,” you pointed at the parts of the painfully long equation as you spoke, “so it’s not like you don’t know how to calculate it, you were just careless.”
It was 1:30am and his eyelids felt heavy but you were still helping him with his work as if you’d just arrived at his house not a few minutes ago when, in reality, you’d been here for nearly 7 hours. Kageyama’s brain felt fuzzy from exhaustion and yet he found himself hanging onto your every word, absorbing as much information as he could—it was the least he could do.
“Honestly,” you said out of the blue as he reworked the equation, “I think you’ll be getting mostly Bs and some As by graduation.” You smiled like it was solely his own effort; as if it wasn’t you who agreed to tutor him for free, coming by his house and sleeping over when it got too late to go home. You looked at him with your tired eyes and messy hair with such pride that Kageyama himself was nearly deluded into thinking he put in nearly as much effort as you did explaining concepts and breaking down questions in ways he could easily understand.
That night, in that exact moment, his chest swelled with an overwhelming sense of adoration and gratitude and yet all he could do was glance down at the scattered papers on his bedroom floor and mutter a soft, “thank you”.
[11:32AM] (Y/N): i’m a few minutes away! sorry for being late D:
[11:32AM] Tobio: okay :) no worries, i haven’t been here long anyways
It’s easy to lie a little sometimes, though he struggles with it when it comes to you. Kageyama feels—knows—that he owes at least that much to you; to always tell you the truth. So, instead, he twists his own truth so that the words he says or the messages he sends you are never dishonest.
He’s been in this cafe for nearly half an hour. Some might say that’s a long wait, hell, he would say it’s a long wait had it been for anyone else. However, for you, he’d actually arrived twenty minutes early in order to get that one spot you used to love so much when you were still in Karasuno together.
Kageyama has been waiting for thirty minutes but twenty were his own and ten were for you. So, no, he didn’t lie. He hasn’t been waiting long at all.
Ten minutes is nothing compared to the one year he’d spent away from you, after all.
“Are you sure you won’t miss me?” you joked, voice lighthearted as always whenever you weren’t to be taken seriously—he knew that—and yet, when your question prodded at his heart in ways he did not expect, his reaction came out far more aggressive than he’d intended it to be.
“No, why will I? I’m finally achieving my dreams. I don’t need you to be there to hold my hand.”
The moment the words slipped out of his mouth, Kageyama wanted nothing more than to take them back, to swallow them whole and leave them away from you, festering inside his soul. The guilt and shame ran down his spine from the back of his neck, burning hot as the sensation spread across his skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
Staring at his half-packed luggage, he didn’t need to look at you to know how hurt you were by his reply. He didn’t have to steal a glance of your face to have known exactly what expression you had on—it was the worst kind. The teary eyes and shaky frown; it was the exact same kind of face that, in the past, had led him to throwing a couple of punches at the people who’d caused you to make it.
If he could have punched himself to make it up to you, he would’ve.
Instead, Kageyama allowed a silence to fall over the room and you, as always, since the very beginning of your friendship, broke it for him.
“I was kidding, y’know?” you laughed and he played along, heart still pounding from the terrifying aspect of losing you. He thought that if he just followed your lead and pretended that things were okay, they would become okay. But even then, he knew that wasn’t going to be the case.
The day after, when he was to leave Miyagi for Tokyo for a year to train with the Schweiden Adlers, you didn’t show up to bid him farewell like you said you would. Instead, you dropped him a text apologising for your absence and wishing him all the best.
Since then, you’ve had regular video calls with him once he’d settled down in the big city with his new team. Kageyama had apologised for his words during your first call—having found it much, much easier to do so when you weren’t physically together, and you happily forgave him. He knows you aren’t, and have never been, the petty kind but part him wishes you hadn’t so easily accepted his apology when it was so long overdue.
“Hi, Tobio!” you greeted, slightly out of breath, as you took the seat opposite him, your sudden presence sending his brain into haywire. He’d spent countless nights imagining how this reunion would feel after a year of not seeing you in the flesh but now as he’s living this moment, he realises none of the numerous scenarios he played in his head can do this feeling justice.
He feels his face start to heat up as his heart pounds loudly within the confines of his chest, the thumping pulse sounding so clear in his head that he genuinely worries you might be able to hear it, too, despite being an arm’s length away. Kageyama feels himself begin to sweat in spite of the cold weather. His eyes dart down to the half-filled mug in his hands as he presses his palms against its curved, cooling surface.
“Oh, wow, are you sure you didn’t wait long?” you laughed lightly, looking at the contents of his cup. He practically feels his blush deepening at the thought of being caught redhanded for his white lie. “So, how’ve you been?”
Kageyama responds accordingly, sharing his experiences with the Schweiden Adlers and adjusting to life in Tokyo. You, in return, talk about a new apartment you’re renting with your cousin and the classes you’re teaching as a part-time substitute in Karasuno while you ponder over what to pursue as a proper career.
Conversation with one another comes surprisingly easy to the both of you. Though neither of you admit it out loud, it feels as though you haven’t been separated for twelve straight months. You chat for hours, sometimes getting a little too loud and worked up, much to the chagrin of the other customers. Slowly but naturally, the topics eventually begin to run out and you opt to sit in silence for a bit, eating your respective lunches as you people-watch.
Kageyama checks his phone and realises he needs to leave soon if he were to make it to the stadium in time to meet his teammates. The Adlers are playing a casual match against a local university team in the evening due to the two coaches being alumni or something along those lines. It’s the only reason why he’s returned to Miyagi for a short bit—
He looks at you as you gaze out the window, a content smile on your face.
—it’s the only reason…
… Right?
“No, why will I? I’m finally achieving my dreams. I don’t need you to be there to hold my hand.”
The words from his past echo in his head, piercing his heart with the same intense guilt and shame from all those months ago when he first uttered those words out of impulse born from his insistence on denying the truth of your relationship.
It’s then you look at him curiously, as if sensing the distress he’s suddenly placed himself in. You part your lips, undoubtedly to ask if he’s okay, but before you can speak, his large, warm hands reach out to engulf your own. Taped fingers and calloused palms grip at your hands firmly, holding onto you as if letting go meant never seeing you again.
“(Y/N), I love you.” he declares, staring straight into your widening eyes. The desire to look away is almost too strong to resist but he pushes himself to maintain the contact, not allowing himself to repeat his past mistakes. “While I was away, I’ve come to realise how much you truly mean to me. You have always been an important person in my life but I’ve never had the courage to tell you. I even hurt you before I left and I still haven’t forgiven myself for that even though you have.
“To be honest, while I’ll always be grateful for it, I do not need you to hold my hand as you’ve done when we were growing up,” he continues, not giving you any chance to get a word in (not that you want to yet, anyway), “but I do want you in my life. I know it’s selfish of me to ask you to be with me as I achieve my dreams but maybe, if we’re together, I can support you in discovering what you would like to pursue as well.”
He takes a deep breath, face tinted red as he tightens his grip on your hands.
“What I’m saying is… will you… do you…” Kageyama’s eyes begin to flicker towards the table and away from your face. But when you pull your hands out of his just to grab them once more and give them a reassuring squeeze, his head freezes in place, eyes staring intently into your own teary ones.
You reply, saying exactly what’s on his mind, word-for-word, “I love you and I’d love to live with you in Tokyo.”
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Note
I love your last fic so much it got me thinking could you write something about like the gallaghers( +Kev and v and sandy etc) observing Ian and Mickey’s relationship? Like their perspectives of seeing them be soft with each other and just their dynamic? I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense lol <3
hiiiii anon!<3 okay i want to start off by saying that this got WAY too long, bc i loved this prompt a lot- so much that i think i might make this a multi-part thing on ao3! i started with sandy (since i am in love with her) but i’ll also go through the gallaghers/kev & v soon- lmk if u guys want me to continue, and who u would want me to write next if i do (or if u want me to continue with sandy lol i have lots of thoughts and feelings)
this ended up taking place in s10 when we first meet sandy, fyi:) also tw for brief mentions of abuse (as always, bc of terry 🙄) -- and there is a reference to the line in 10x07 that jokes about mickey and sandy for a brief moment
--
When Sandy heard her phone buzz on that Tuesday afternoon, sitting on the stained and lumpy couch in her shithead uncle’s living room while drinking a beer and arguing with Alek about what type of insurance fraud could make the biggest payout, she had no idea what to expect on the other end of the line. The phone kept ringing, the contact info lighting up the screen: MICKEY.
Mickey? Shit. It had been a long fucking time. Between her own various juvie stints as a kid and Mickey’s time behind bars overlapping just as she got released, Sandy hadn’t seen Mickey since… high school, maybe? Whenever it was, it was back when Mickey was a grimy kid with spikey hair and dirty fingernails, a kid with an obsession with guns and way too much time on his hands, back when they would hang out by the train tracks and drink beer and get way too high and do stupid shit; all in all, back when everything was a hell of a lot simpler. Sandy assumed Mickey had met Royal and been clued in about her shitshow of a life at some point while she’d been gone, and they’d possibly overlapped at a family party or two a few years ago when they both were in town— but other than hearing about the aftershocks of Mickey coming out and driving Terry up a goddamn wall, so much so that Terry broke his parole and was headed straight back to prison hours after his release, Sandy hadn’t seen Mickey in forever.
Which is why this call intrigued her so much— Mickey was supposed to be in prison for at least a couple more years, or at least that’s what his brothers had said, so why the fuck was he using a cell phone right now?
Sandy nodded her head towards the cellphone, cutting Alek off mid-sentence and sliding her thumb across the screen to pick up the call. Before saying anything, she rose off the creaky springs of the couch and speedwalked out to the front porch before answering— whatever the fuck Mickey wanted, she assumed he was calling her because this conversation wasn’t for the ears of any other Milkoviches. She lit a cigarette and leaned against the post of the front stoop, listening to the silence hanging heavy on her phone’s speaker.
“Mickey? You there?”
A low chuckle came from the other end of the line.
“Fuck. Been a long time.” Mickey’s voice sounded the same; punchy and snarky, maybe a little gruffer and raspier after years of cigarette smoke. Sandy waited a moment for Mickey to give more of a reply, or an explanation for his call, but it was clear that Mickey wasn’t going to give one right away— it was like he was testing the waters, like he was deciding if making this call was the right move. Soft static echoed on the phone line.
Sandy totally got it— reemerging from a life of cinderblock cell walls and barbed wire fences fucking sucked, especially when you were a Milkovich and the moment you got out you were faced with a choice, an opportunity: did you want to go back home, or did you want to start fresh, erase your own name, and forget this dysfunctional family ever existed? Sandy knew she felt the same way when she got out. Mickey deciding to call Sandy was a big fucking move, and she realized that— reclaiming your life as a Milkovich on the brink of a new beginning took guts.
“So, I take it you’re out of prison?” Sandy asked after a moment, inhaling another slow puff of her cigarette.
There was that laugh again— Sandy had weirdly missed it. Honestly, Mickey hadn’t ever been too bad to be around— they’d both felt like outsiders in the family, had both always had a strong head on their shoulders and a fucking moral compass, unlike the rest of Terry’s sheep who did his bidding and got swastikas tattooed on their chest. When he was younger Mickey used to follow Terry and his older brothers around like a lost puppy, and he even got those fucking knuckle tats—but later in high school, Sandy remembered seeing something deep snap inside him, bleeding out in “STAY THE FUCK OUT” and “FUCK LOVE” signs taped onto his bedroom walls. At the time she thought it was the fucked-up shit with Terry and Mandy driving him up a wall— but now she realized the constant bombardment of homophobia, coupled with the cuts and bruises blooming on his cheeks and the cigarette burn scars on his arms, must have been signs of Mickey realizing the rude awakening that was inevitably going to come if he wanted to be who he was. Sandy couldn’t even imagine— no one really gave a shit who she fucked, and her cousins didn’t know anything about her sex life—but she couldn’t fathom being Terry’s son, the pride and joy of the Milkovich clan, and needing to outwardly admit those deeper parts of herself.
“Yup, I’m free to join civilization as of this morning. Overcrowding or some shit.” Sandy could hear Mickey also taking a drag of a cigarette on the other end of the line. She smirked to herself. Guess we both didn’t break the Milkovich nicotine addiction.
“So, uh, listen,” Mickey continued, and Sandy immediately knew he was in deep shit if she was the one he was calling to ask for a favor. “I’m in a bit of a… situation. Don’t wanna go into too many specifics, but there might be a massive fucking Mexican cartel after me right now.”
Sandy barked out a laugh before she could help herself. Fucking Mickey. “Oh yeah? Sounds like you’re feeling thrilled to be a free man again.”
Mickey chuckled again. “Fuck you. But hey, d’you think you can bring my shit by to me, so I don’t have to stop by the house and get fucking killed? You don’t gotta rush or whatever, just didn’t wanna show my face quite yet.”
Sandy could feel all the unsaid things wrapped in the way Mickey’s sentence ended. Didn’t want to show his face quite yet because of this cartel bullshit, or because of Terry? She decided it didn’t really matter— Mickey was a good guy, she could spend an hour or so rounding up his shit and bringing it to him if that’s what he needed.
“Got it.” She blew out more smoke, watching it curl and drift over the wasteland of the front yard on a gust of summer air.
Mickey cleared his throat, like he was gearing up to say more. When he spoke, his voice was softer around the edges, more genuine than before.
“I’m, uh. I’m sure you heard everything about me while I was gone. About Terry flipping his shit. Probably not the best idea for me to come around the house quite yet—my brothers n’ I haven’t really talked much since then either.” He paused, inhaling another drag of his cigarette. “I figured you’d get it. And hey, if you can bring the stuff by, I’d love to hear all the badass shit you’ve been up to the past few years.”
Sandy nearly winced—yeah, if by “badass shit” you mean getting forcibly married to a douchebag and then couch surfing for months— but she tried to keep her shit together for Mickey’s sake. She stubbed out her cigarette on the railing of the porch, straightening from where she was leaning.
“I’ve got it Mickey, don’t worry about it. Where are you right now, anyways?”
She could hear the hint of relief bleeding into Mickey’s voice when he replied. “I’m at the Gallagher house? The grey one by the tracks.”
Sandy rolled her eyes. “I was in jail for a couple of years Mickey, not braindead. I know where the Gallagher house is.”
Mickey huffed out a breath, but there wasn’t any sharpness in it. “Excuse me for tryin’ to be helpful, smartass.”
“Why the fuck are you there, anyways?”
“I’m, uh, crashing with my partner for now. Ian?”
Holy shit, Mickey was still fucking Ian Gallagher? Sandy had pieced together that Ian was the reason Mickey came out months after getting married to some Russian bitch, and according to Iggy the whole reason Mickey went to jail in the first place was some love-crazed revenge plot on Ian’s behalf— but since getting locked up Mickey hadn’t kept in touch with anyone, other than a shady-as-fuck message to his brothers after he’d busted out of prison letting everyone know that he was in Mexico, despite getting thrown back into jail in Chicago a couple months later. Sandy didn’t really know the details, and she especially didn’t know anything about Mickey’s love life— but it was wild as fuck that someone as unsettled and ruthless and batshit crazy as Mickey could’ve been with the same person all this time, especially someone as seemingly bland as Ian Gallagher. Huh. Wonder if I’ll get to see Ian.
“Got it. I’ll round up your shit and bring it by the Gallagher house later today. And don’t worry, I won’t let anyone know you called til you’re ready.”
Mickey exhaled on the other end of the line. “There shouldn’t be much, just check the drawers or whatever. “
Sandy knew for a fact that most of Mickey’s lingering possessions had probably been taken, sold, or thrown out by a zealously homophobic Terry by now, but she wasn’t going to say as much to Mickey over the phone.
“I’m on it. See you in a couple hours.”
“Hey, Sandy?” Mickey blew out a long breath, and this time Sandy couldn’t tell if it was because he was still smoking or because he was riding a wave of relief, releasing the floodgates of anxiousness he’d been holding in the whole conversation. “Thanks. I fuckin’ owe you one.”
Sandy smirked. Maybe Mickey being let out of jail early was a good thing, despite how fucked his whole situation seemed— maybe, for once, someone in her family would be fun to be around, wouldn’t set her teeth on edge every two seconds by making a racist comment or forcing her to be something she wasn’t.
“I’ll text you when I’m almost at your love nest.”
She imagined Mickey’s grin as he replied. “Fuck you. See ya soon.”
**
After scraping through every rickety dresser drawer in Terry’s house for nearly an hour, Sandy could barely come up with anything that was reportedly Mickey’s: a couple of tattered shirts, an impressively overused-looking bong, and a single sneaker she’d left behind because she couldn’t find the other one. She threw it all in some shitty burlap rucksack she’d found on one of the bedroom floors, assuming no one would miss it— it dawned on her that maybe her cousins were lying, and some of the other stuff in the house was still Mickey’s, but she’d collected what she could based on the whispered directions Alek and Iggy had given her when Terry was out of the room.
Sandy unlocked her phone, and typed a quick message to Mickey. “Out front.”
Mickey’s reply came quickly, and Sandy noticed the front curtains rustling on the top floor of the Gallagher house.
“Coming down”
The front door creaked open, and Mickey walked out onto the front porch. He looked good; he looked cleaner, sure, but also like a fucking adult—like he’d grown into himself, like he actually carried himself with confidence instead of just pretending to. He nodded his chin up at Sandy in acknowledgement.
“Long time no see.” He smirked, leaning on the banister. “You make a good delivery service. All those hauls we did with Terry must’ve been good training.”
Sandy lazily walked up the front steps, reaching the bag out in front of her for Mickey to take. “Here’s all the shit I could find. It’s not much.”
Mickey jerked his head to the open door behind him. “You wanna come in for a sec?”
Sandy grinned. Why the fuck not. “Sure."
So that was how she found herself perched on what was presumably Ian Gallagher’s bed, watching Mickey ruffle through the burlap bag, his brows furrowed as he realized just how much of his shit was actually gone.
“This everything?”
“As much as I could find.”
They comfortably chatted back and forth about how everyone was— Sandy decided to divulge the fact that Mickey’s brothers were idiots who tried to crawl in bed with her every night, which is something that she had to joke about so she didn’t go fucking insane sleeping under the same roof as them.
“Fuck ‘em, chop their nuts off next time they try it.”
Sandy smirked. Finally, a decent fucking relative. She made some hollow joke about staying with Mickey, alluding to the extra-shitty night decades ago when their cousins had forced them to make out when they were way too high on something.
“Or I could stay here with you. Have fun like we did when we were kids.”
“You know that’s fucked up, right? We’re fucking cousins!”
“Plus he’s taken.” A voice came from around the corner.
Ian Gallagher looked bigger, taller, and more solid than Sandy remembered; he was definitely miles away from the scrawny kid with the bangs who worked at the Kash N Grab that Sandy and her cousins endlessly used to fuck with in middle school. Ian’s shoulders were wide, his body imposing in the tiny room; immediately, Mickey’s aggravated stance softened when Ian walked in, wrapped in a towel from the waist down.
“Oh right, you.” Sandy grinned as Ian hunched over the bed and grabbed his deodorant from the nightstand.
Mickey had turned back to the bag of clothes. “Hey, I had shampoo and shit, is there soap anywhere?”
Sandy rolled her eyes. “You’ve been gone for years, you think your brothers would save that shit for you?” she bit out— and okay, maybe she was a little pissed at Mickey’s brothers for the constant-sexual-assault thing.
Ian just applied his deodorant and leaned in close to Mickey as he passed by the bed towards the doorframe. “You can use mine. We’ll hit Costco later, I’m getting paid.”
It was stupid, but Sandy felt something soft pang in her chest at Ian’s words; it was just now that she was realizing it, but she didn’t think she’d ever seen someone take care of Mickey before, or so… automatically factor Mickey’s needs into a situation. Being a Milkovich was all about scrounging and scraping, and guarding what little you had; a Milkovich would never let someone use their fucking soap just because they cared about them, or not as an immediate reaction anyways.
“Nah, I can’t, man. PO texted me when you were in the shower, he’s got a job for me.”
Ian kept looking at Mickey from where he was leaning in the doorway. “Then give me a list of shit you need, and I’ll pick it up for you,” Ian said in an overly simple tone, like he was mocking the fact that Mickey didn’t realize Ian would run an errand for him.
Sandy smirked. Jesus, Gallagher is whipped.
“Isn’t that cute, little domestic bitches,” Sandy crooned before she could help herself.
Ian stepped into the room again and leaned in towards Mickey, pressing a kiss to Mickey’s cheek while Mickey aggressively tried to uncrumple one of the pile of shirts from the bag.
“Mm, thank you,” Ian said in reply, his voice muffling as he smushed his face closer to Mickey’s.
Mickey instantly smiled smugly as Ian’s lips pressed against his cheek—then he noticed Sandy was staring, so he flipped her off and smiled even wider. What the fuck? Sure, Mickey had flipped Sandy off, but he was practically fucking beaming in a way that Sandy had never seen. God, wonder if I’ll find this shit someday.
Ian detached himself from Mickey and walked out of the room, Mickey’s eyes lingering on his torso. Once Ian had turned the corner Mickey snapped back to attention, fixing his eyes back onto the small mountain of clothes spread on the bed in front of him. Mickey lifted the bong off the bedsheets, and met Sandy’s gaze. 
“You have to go, or d’you wanna hang for a bit? I don’t have to be at work for a couple hours, and it’s gonna suck enough that I should probably be high before I get there.”
Sandy grinned. “Hell yeah, I’m down.”
**
They sat on the rickety back steps of the Gallagher house, silently taking hits and passing the bong back and forth. It had been years since they’d been in the same space, but Sandy and Mickey easily sank into a comfortable silence, passively surrounded by the shrieks of kids playing across the alleyway and the bubbling of water as they inhaled. Mickey blew smoke out of his nose, then sat back so he was leaning against the banister and passed the glass pipe to Sandy.
“So,” Sandy started as she held the lighter to the bong and inhaled deeply. “Ian Gallagher.”
Mickey huffed out a laugh. “Yup. That’s some Romeo and Juliet shit for ya.”
Sandy smirked as she exhaled. “You really fucking love him, huh?”
Mickey eyebrows raised almost imperceptibly as he looked towards her. “Yeah. Guess I do.” He took the bong from Sandy’s outstretched hand. “Took me forever to get shit straight with him, though.”
Ah. So their road to domestic bliss wasn’t as straightforward as it seemed. Sandy’s curiosity was growing.
“Because of shit with Terry?”
Mickey stiffened, coughing a bit as he exhaled smoke, like Sandy’s question caught him off guard. “Shit. Yeah. That too. Let’s just say there were lots of fucking ups and downs, and we both had a lot of shit to unpack.”
Sandy snickered. “You sound like a fucking couples therapist.”
Mickey rolled his eyes. “If you wanna see couples therapy, I should tell you about the months me and Ian were sharing a fucking cell. We nearly ripped each other’s heads off. We literally stabbed someone so one of us might get sent to fucking solitary.”
Sandy’s laughter grew. “Are you fucking serious?”
Mickey grinned, and passed the bong back to Sandy again. “Fuck. Yeah. I fucking love him, though. He’s fucking crazy, and I still can’t let him go.” Mickey looked off into the distance across the alleyway, and either the weed was really hitting him right now, or he was being a very sappy motherfucker.
Sandy nudged Mickey’s knee. “You guys are cute together.” Mickey’s eyebrows raised when he heard the word “cute,” and Sandy quickly tried to rephrase. “Not cute, but y’know. Good for each other. You seem happy. Happy is... good.”
Mickey nodded pensively. “How’re you doing, anyways?”
Sandy shrugged noncommittally. “Eh. We can talk about me another time. How the fuck did you and Ian end up sharing a jail cell, anyways?”
Mickey let out a throaty laugh. “I heard Gallagher was getting locked up when I was down south, so I essentially pulled some strings and fucking snitched on the cartel I was working for. Hauled my ass back up here so we could be together.”
Holy fuck. Sandy’s jaw nearly dropped. “Mickey, you’re batshit crazy.” She shoved him squarely in the chest this time. “Are you fucking serious?! You evaded the feds, were living in Mexico, and you came back for Ian Gallagher?”
Mickey rolled his eyes again, placing the bong on the steps. “I can’t explain it, man. I just didn’t wanna be anywhere else, I guess.”
Sandy leaned back onto the banister. “Shit.” She paused for a moment, wondering if she should ask the next question. “Do you… want me to tell anyone you’re back?”
Mickey glanced over at her, his eyes alert. “Nah. Not yet. That okay with you?”
Sandy nodded. “Of course.” Mickey pulled out his phone, checking the time and presumably looking for a distraction from tiptoeing around talking about Terry— but Sandy had to tell him, had to let him know one more thing.
“Hey, Mickey?”
Mickey looked up. “Yeah?”
“I don’t really know the details of what went down with Terry, or whatever— but I just wanted to let you know that… if you ever wanna come home, I’m on your side. No questions asked. And I think a lot of the others are, too.”
The corner of Mickey’s mouth ticked upward. “Thanks.”
Sandy stood, checking her phone and zipping her leather jacket. “Well, I’d probably let you sober up a bit before your big parolee first day of work.”
Mickey raised a middle finger up to her from where he was seated, but then rose to stand.
“Thanks for comin’ by. And hey—you’re free to crash here anytime. There’s a million fucking kids running around all the time, but there’s always a couch or something open if everyone at home’s giving you too much shit.”
Sandy felt something warm growing in her chest. It had been a long fucking time since someone offered to take care of her, just because they could, just because they wanted to— maybe being a Milkovich wasn’t half bad. Maybe there were some good ones.
Sandy nodded in acknowledgement, and turned to walk down the creaky back steps. Wow. If Sandy was sure of one thing right now, it was that Mickey really, really fucking loved Ian Gallagher.
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potterbite · 3 years
Text
falling slowly
five times people found out about eddie changing his will, seeing right through him, and the one time they both admitted what it meant. on ao3
Sometimes, Eddie’s confused when he’s called rude— or on one memorable occasion; a motherfucking shitface —because most of the time he only wants to make other people happy. Sure, that’s not always healthy either, but rude? No. So whenever it happens, it puzzles him a great deal, never quite understanding exactly what was done or said wrong.
On this occasion though, he has no problems seeing how he’s at fault. 
“Are you being an ass on purpose or is it for my benefit alone?” Ana spits, and he can’t really blame her for looking as if she wants to punch him in the face. 
The thing is, he’s been meaning to end things with her for ages— since before the shooting six weeks ago —but he can never find the right moment. Or, rather, timing is right but the words get stuck in his throat, fire burning through all of them until nothing but ashes and a fresh smile remains.  
The irritation he feels for himself bleeds through onto her, staining their conversations, all of them becoming stiff, sometimes as if two strangers talked. And he wants to get out of there, and he wants to stay with her forever just to bask in the easiness of it all, and he wants to kiss her to not have to say anything at all, and he wants her to end it so he doesn’t have to.
So when she took a stray potato from his plate and said, chewing, that maybe she should spend more time with Christopher in case Eddie ever had to work late, because that way she could help, and wouldn’t it be useful if the boy knew her better— well Eddie just lost his head completely. 
“Why? Carla or Buck can do that.” He heard the tone of his own voice, the acid not quite coming through, and he had wished it did. The coward in him had made him frown down at the empty plate to avoid meeting her eyes, instead looking at the remaining sauce for the two pieces of potato he’d saved for just that. Ana had taken them without asking. It wasn’t a big deal, and he didn’t mind sharing his food, and he was full anyway— but damn it, he had wanted those last potatoes for himself.
She laughed at his words, soft and easily. “Is Buck honestly the best option? He seems reckless.”
And at this, something had flashed before Eddie’s eyes, red and dangerous, and the words tasted like bile even before they left his lips. “Buck is Christopher’s legal guardian if something ever happens to me.”
This sentence acted as some kind of catalyst for their first— and only —fight, vicious words thrown back and forth in a battle neither seemed to win, but both wanted to end. 
So no, Eddie couldn’t blame Ana for calling him an ass. It’s also the very thing that casts him back into the correct plane of reality, a place where he prides himself in being a decent human being, someone his son can look up to. 
He forces himself to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Her mouth opens and closes a few times. “W-what?”
“I said I’m sorry. For what I said and for not telling you.”
“I’m sorry too.” Her shoulders sag, and just like that this is the end between them and he knows he’s a coward for letting it be. “And for what it’s worth, you really should tell him.”
Abruptly, as if they’ve mutually agreed upon it, they go to the hallway where he reaches for the jacket he hung there an hour earlier. “I never wanted it to end this way.” This is the truth. 
“Me neither.” He can’t tell if she means it or not. 
“And I have told him,” he continues as he opens the front door, feeling the breeze from the warm night on his face. He’s about to let go of the handle when Ana’s hand closes over his.
“That’s not what I meant.”
She closes the door before he has the time to think of something to say— but honestly there’s nothing more to add. 
***
Eddie doesn’t tell anyone about the break-up. Not immediately anyway. It’s not that he regrets it, or feels sad about it; he’s not even all that remorseful about the way it went down. 
But almost a week later, it comes up when he and Chimney are alone in the kitchen, the others dozing by the tv. 
“Hey, Maddie is feeling better so I thought that maybe you and Ana want to come over this weekend? You can bring Chris.“
“Ah.” He scratches himself by the ear to buy some time, which is probably what tips Chim off. 
“Wait, are you not - ?”
Eddie flicks his eyes around the loft, but no one is close enough to overhear them anyway. “Nah, we broke up last week.”
“I’m sorry man.” Chim puts a gentle hand on his left shoulder and gives him a smile. “Are you okay?”
Eddie nods, because he is. “Yeah. It hasn’t been all that good since before the shooting to tell you the truth, and then we had a major fight after I told her that Buck will be the legal guardian of Chris if anything should happen to me.”
Almost a full minute goes by where Chim just stares open-mouthed at him, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do or say so he stays still, afraid of the gleeful surprise on Chim’s face. 
Finally, Chim blinks a couple of times. “Can I be there when you tell Hen?”
“Why?” Eddie frowns deep, not at all what he expected Chim to say. 
“Trust me. She can say what I can’t.”
“I don’t understand.”
At this, Chim gets a sympathetic smile on his face. “Oh, I know you don’t.”
And he goes to join the others. 
***
To his credit, Chim doesn’t appear to tell Hen what he and Eddie discussed. Unfortunately for Eddie, this means that he doesn’t get a chance to understand what Chim meant. Well, technically, he could just tell Hen and find out for himself, but he did keep this quiet for more than a year— and it was never an active choice, he just didn’t feel as if someone else needed to know, not even Buck at first (which, looking back, might’ve been an oversight on his part)— so speaking up about it now, without being prompted, seems strange, the words falling flat on his tongue. 
However, not even three days after telling Chimney, the moment presents itself in the form of Buck. 
Eddie, Hen and Chim are eating, their shift about to start, when Buck practically throws his entire body towards an available chair, slamming his ankle into one of the table legs, followed by some loud cursing.
As Eddie practically hears the collective eye roll from Chim and Hen, he chuckles. “You know, some of those words are illegal.”
“Ha ha,” Buck groans in response. “Don’t worry, when I have to raise Chris by myself, I’ll make sure he knows them all. I take my guardianship very seriously.” 
There’s a thump, and Eddie looks at Hen; the fork is dangling in the breeze of her open mouth, the food that was obviously just on it lying in the middle of her almost empty plate. 
 “Say what now?” One of her eyebrows is dangerously high up on her forehead. 
Buck looks comically from her, to Eddie, to Chim, and back again. “Um, yeah,” is all he replies. 
Sadly, this means Hen turns to Eddie instead, and he really wishes it weren’t so but he can feel himself shrink under her gaze. “Are you telling me you made Buck the legal guardian of your kid if something happened to you?” 
“No, Buck told you that,” he jokes, but not a muscle in her face reacts. “Yes, that’s what’ll happen if I die.”
She looks thoughtful— scarily so —as her eyes flits between him and Buck; Eddie can almost feel Chim vibrating in the chair next to his own. 
“I should’ve caught on sooner,” she says eventually.
“What?” Eddie’s dry mouth asks even though he doesn’t want to hear the answer. Buck, apparently, is more interested in eating than this conversation and starts picking stuff from Eddie’s plate. Somehow, Eddie doesn’t care. 
Hen smirks, and points a finger between him and Buck, and Eddie can feel his eyes bulging, feel the strange beating of his heart in his own ears, the sweat starting on his palms, and Hen’s smirk turns into an actual smile. 
She doesn’t elaborate, and when Buck looks up from the platter less than a minute later he seems oblivious to the exchange that has happened. 
As the bell goes off and they head toward the truck, Eddie dries his hands on his thighs and drowns out what’s going on inside his head; he’s too scared of all those things he already knows to be true, almost spoken out loud in words he does not yet have. 
***
By the time they get back to the station, Eddie has already figured out he needs to tell Bobby about this; it’s only a matter of time until someone slips up and Eddie really wants to be the one to tell his captain this. Not that he thinks it’s a big deal, but he’d feel weird about it if Bobby heard it from the probie. 
He knocks twice on the doorframe to Bobby’s office. Both of them have taken a shower and had something to eat, enjoying the blissful quiet between calls. 
Bobby looks up at Eddie over the brim of paper he’s holding. “Eddie! What can I do for you?”
Eddie, not knowing what to do with his hands, puts them in the pocket of his pants and takes a few steps into the room, making sure the door is closed. “I - uh, I wanted to talk to you about my will,” he starts.
Bobby nods, opening a cabinet next to the desk to look through some folders. “Have you changed it again since last year?”
Eddie just gapes. “What?”
“I have the copy in here somewhere,” Bobby mutters to himself. “Aha! There it is.” He presents the paper to Eddie, who accepts it. Sure enough, there’s a copy of the will he wrote after the last accident. 
“I didn’t know you had this.”
“Your attorney sent it to me. He figured since you gave me the old one, you’d want me to have the new one as well.”
Eddie nods.
“What did you want to tell me about the will?” Bobby looks so concerned that Eddie can’t help the huff of laughter that escapes him.
“Nothing. I wanted you to know about Buck, that's all.”
“Ah.” Those soul gazing eyes locks onto Eddie and he squirms. “I already know.”
Lost for anything to say to this, Eddie sinks down to the closest chair and they sit together in silence until he no longer feels as if those carefully constructed walls he built to contain all he has inside for Buck is crumbling down around him. Soon he’ll be standing in the ruins of a former fortress and the only one left to tell is Buck. Eddie’s just not sure he has the courage. 
***
Chris was the first one Eddie told, before he even signed the papers or anything. It just didn’t sit right with him to take this decision away from the boy. For weeks and weeks Eddie thought about the best way to bring it up, trying to come up with replies for all plausible scenarios. 
It was a Wednesday when he finally took the plunge.
“Hey buddy, can I ask you something?”
Chris had nodded happily. “What Dad?” 
“If I didn’t come home one day, if something bad happened to me, how do you feel about Buck taking care of you?”
Chris didn’t even think about it. Instead, he frowned deeply. “If you’re not here, why wouldn’t I live with Buck? He always takes care of us.”
Eddie had almost laughed with relief, not having foreseen this easiness at all. He ruffled Chris' hair and said, “No, you’re right. I agree.”
They didn’t talk about it again. 
***
It’s been almost three weeks since his break-up with Ana, and he still hasn’t told Buck. By now, he’s probably the only one that hasn’t figured it out, but Eddie doesn’t mind. In fact, he steers clear of relationship talk when they hang out; he doesn’t want to hear about how fantastic Taylor is, or what new adventures they’ve been up to. 
Strangely, it’s Bobby of all people that tells Buck. Or maybe Bobby tells Eddie, he’s not really sure. 
They find Bobby cooking when they start a long shift, all of them gliding towards the whiff of glorious food. 
“What’s the occasion?” Buck asks as he steals a green bean. 
“Nothing really. Just a happy meal with family.” Bobby stirs the giant pot and adds some spices. “With all the break-ups happening around here, I’m almost worried it’s contagious so I figured we needed an easy dinner together.” 
Eddie stiffens, but curiously enough so does Buck, shoulders rigid and face neutral. Instead, it’s Chim that speaks next. “What do you mean? Who else has broken up?”
“Well, Pannikar and his boyfriend, Eddie and Ana, and now Buck and Taylor,” Bobby says, gesturing towards each of them in turn. Everyone nods, as if nothing he said is brand new information. 
“You and Ana broke up?” The words are almost as quiet as a whisper, meant for Eddie alone while the rest set the table. 
Eddie nods. “You broke up with Taylor?”
“Yeah. Or we both did, I’m not sure.” He gets a deep frown between his eyebrows and the tips of Eddie’s fingers itch to smooth it out. He doesn’t. “We’re still friends though.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Buck tilts his head a little bit to the right, gazing at Eddie as if he’s a riddle to solve. 
Eddie shrugs. Of course, he knows very well why he didn’t say something to Buck but he can’t tell his best friend that— or can he?
Acting on pure impulse, he takes hold of Buck’s hand and drags him away from the kitchen, down the stairs and into their bunk room. He closes the door behind them, leaning on it, and turns to look at the other man; Buck is standing just out of arm's reach. In Eddie’s stomach someone is dancing the conga in circles, begging him to get the hell out of there before he says too much and ruins it all. He ignores this, swallowing hard. 
“Here’s the thing. I’ve been waiting for the right words to come to me, to figure out how to tell you what is apparently very obvious to everyone else. I mean, if I just mention how I changed my will, they all get this look in their eyes, and I know they know. And I don’t understand how you still don’t when I feel as if it’s written on my face.”
Buck is silent, and Eddie can’t even be sure his ramble made any sense whatsoever. He rests the back of his head against the door, waiting for Buck to say something, anything. The urge to get out of there is overwhelming, but the sound of Buck’s breathing is as well— harsh and quick breaths, shallow and full of emotions Eddie can’t place.
“I broke up with Taylor because I think I’m more into you than her,” Buck blurts suddenly, his eyes widening as if he never meant to say any of it. 
An urge to laugh bubbles up inside him, but he presses it down. “Buck.” The other man’s eyes snap to his. “I made you the sole guardian of my kid if I die.”
Eddie can’t tell who moves first— maybe they drift at the same time, two planets on a collision course — but somehow they meet in the middle, lips crashing together until it feels as if they’re fused together as one. He nibbles gently at Buck’s bottom lip, a gesture that makes Buck practically purr in response; Eddie can feel the vibration of it underneath his fingers, lying in a soft grip around Buck’s throat. 
In retaliation— reward? —Buck shuffles them back until Eddie hits the wall with a soft thump, and the quiet groan that escapes him is out of his control honestly. He can’t believe he ever thought that what he had with Ana was enough, not when this has been here the whole time, just waiting beneath the surface for someone to make the first move. 
When the alarm goes off, they don’t separate immediately; instead they sigh apart, Buck letting his forehead fall until it meets Eddie’s. 
“We really should talk about this,” Buck says, and he’s so close that his breath sends shivers across Eddie’s body. 
“Mhm,” Eddie agrees, opening his eyes to meet Buck’s. “But there will be plenty of time for that later.”
(When they get to the truck, Hen smirks at the pair of them when they get in. Eddie pointedly ignores her, but when his gaze lands on Buck he has to bite the inside of his cheek so as not to smile wide enough to crack his head in two.)
(They get around to talking. Later.)
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pretend-writer · 3 years
Text
Addicted (Draco Malfoy x reader)
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Requested
Summary: Y/N discovers a surprising truth after reading Malfoy's mind.
Pairing: Draco Malfoy x reader
Title Reference: Addicted x Saving Abel
Word Count: 1.1k words
Warning: mention of sex, swearing
✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤
I would be lying to myself if I said it was embarrassing to be seen with Malfoy. Sure, he was one of the worst people in Slytherin or the entire school of Hogwarts for that matter but it was something about him that kept me drawn to him.
During the holidays last year, I've decided to stay at Hogwarts instead of going back home. Harry and I were supposed to spend it together but insisted on staying with the Weasleys. I've gotten an invited by Ron also but I decided I'd love some peace and quiet alone in the dormitories.
Weirdly enough, Malfoy was at Hogwarts as well. Knowing how crazy the Malfoy family was, I was quite surprised that he was on school grounds. I'd say he made the right decision, I would hate to spend the holidays with his crazy father.
One night we had dinner together, figured we'd keep each other company since Hogwarts was practically empty. It did become lonely at times, being by myself for days so call me crazy but it was nice talking to someone. Even if that someone was Malfoy.
After dinner, we still continued to talk on the hallways. Honestly, I should of just shut up and went back to the Gryffindor dormitories and headed straight to bed. I don't know, I was chatty that day and it was probably all of the days I didn't talk at all, I had to let it all out.
It never made sense why Malfoy and I were talking for hours. We were never friends, more enemies I would say. I couldn't stand how arrogant he was and he loved the attention I gave him when I'd correct him every class. Hermione would agree with me on this, the best thing about class was looking for all his wrong answers and calling him out.
The loneliness probably got the best of us that night. No, it did get the best of us. Because the next thing we knew, we were throwing each other's clothes across the Slytherin dormitories on his bed.
When I left his bed the next morning, I swore to myself that I would never speak to this man again. Not only did I lie to myself but I continued to sleep with Malfoy. Even after the holidays were over.
I didn't know why I would go out of my way to sneak around my best friends just to sleep with someone like Malfoy. It was as if I was addicted, I would regret the sex afterwards but end up going back for it every single time. Which didn't work in my favor at all, made Malfoy even cockier.
'So same time tomorrow?' Malfoy snickered, picking up his boxers from the side of his bed as he put it on.
'Don't know, I have loads of homework I have to catch up on.' I shook my head, 'Besides we're going to get caught if we keep this up. I don't want point taken away, or even expelled for that matter.'
He rolled his eyes, 'You still have Potter's invisibility cloak right? We'll be fine.'
I don't think Malfoy ever understood responsibility. It was easy for him to say all of that stuff, his precious daddy can always beg Hogwarts to keep him. Not only will it be over for me but my parents would kill me if I got expelled.
'You probably will get to stay here but I'll be kicked out. I can't risk that.' I sighed, not even wanting to think about the possibilities I could've been caught. Rethinking all of the sneaking around I've done, I didn't know why I've continued to do this.
'Okay, no. It's over.' I started putting all my clothes off, zipping up my jeans and jacket. 'We can't do this anymore.'
'Really? Now you want to end things?'
'Why does it matter? It was all sex. You can find someone else. It's just not worth it for me.' I grabbed Harry's cloak as I head to the door.
'But I love you.'
Turning around look at Malfoy, I cocked my head. ‘You love me?’
He quickly shook his head, brows furrowing from all of the confusion. ‘I-I didn’t say that.’
‘Yes, you did. I heard you.’
Malfoy bit his lip and stood there in silence, watching me like a lost puppy. I knew I heard his voice, I heard him loud and clear. What I didn’t understand was the reason why he’d lie to me when we both knew he said those words.
‘Why are you lying to me?’
‘I’m not, I promise you I didn’t say anyth-’
He paused, sighing as he placed his hand over his forehead. Being irritated about how he stopped his sentence, I pushed his shoulder. ‘What?’
‘You’re a Legilimens?’
Raising my brows, I stared at Malfoy as I held in my laughter. It didn’t matter because moments later, a laugh escaped my mouth. I couldn’t help but cackle about this stupidity. ‘You’re going to really use that as an excuse?’
‘It’s not an e-’ Malfoy rolled his eyes, then took a deep breath. ‘I didn’t say it okay? I-I thought it before you walked out the door.’
‘So you do love me?’
‘Yeah, sure.’ Malfoy responded with a straight face. ‘You never told me you were a Legilimens.’
‘I’ve never read minds until now.’ A smirk formed on my face, ‘You never told me you loved me.’
‘I just did.’
‘Technically, you didn’t.’
Malfoy lightly chuckled, ‘Why are you such a smartass?’
‘Why are you such an jackass?’
He grabbed my hand and pulled me in towards him, our bodies touching just like it did couple of minutes ago. He smiled devilishly as his hands worked his way on my sides. ‘I know you love me back.’
I couldn’t help but bury my face into his chest as I felt his breath on my neck. Malfoy left small kisses on them as he waited for my answer. I hated how cocky this man could get but I loved how he held me in his arms. The way Malfoy knew how to sweet talk me to make me feel better when I was down.
Despite us not really hanging out outside the bedrooms or maybe sometimes the bathrooms when we hooked up, we’d had great conversations together. It was more so my pride that wasn’t letting me admit that I’d probably want something more with Draco Malfoy.
‘Just say it back.’ He nagged, lowering his touches down my ass. ‘I can feel you’re intense. Just say it.’
‘Fine, I love you.’ I looked up at him, caressing his cheek as I licked my lips. ‘I love you, Malfoy.’
‘Y/N, call me Draco.’ I laughed lightly. ‘You say it just fine when I’m fucking you.’
‘Then make me say it.’
A huge grin formed on Malfoy’s face, brows raising in surprise as he picked me up. ‘Game on.’
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