#even if it's just 'here is the actual fucking tweet' it's really comforting(

[sensitivegoblin]

I fucking hate my family

Unsafe vent

#my sister is on my ass 24/7 about my emotions and she wonders why I'm fucking suicidal #I'm sosososososo tired 24/7 #at this point I just wanna kill myself in the most traumatizing way to them #im tired of never getting any energy back with all the energy I put out #I can't even vent on Twitter anymore cus my sister is an ass and will be like 'WHY ARE YOU (whatever my tweet said' #because you fucking drive me crazy and I wanna leave you alone with you asshole BF #im so not needed in a month they'd all be greatful im gone #if im such a useless fuckin human being why do either of you care #my family really just sucks... #I hate saying that cus I love them so much but it's been 10000yrs since I've actually got comforted #I wanna kill mysekf and blood up her stupid white asylum ass walls and break shit and say things to hurt them both #I actually think about how other people are feeling so I'm not gonna do that #but fuck #I hate living its so fucking exhausting WHAT IS THE POINT?!?!?!?! #my cat is gone I should just get tf outta here

[kenlvry]

main 4 and craig and tweek with sleeeeeepppyyyyyyy gn s / o

sleepy reader

edit, 8th march. okay so two things, wrote this while half sleepy, i js realized you said gn reader... and i didnt proof read so im pretty sure theres pronouns here imsososososo sorry also im pretty sure you meant sleepy reader and not reader who's always sleepy so.. sorry

✷—*⁠.

kenny

he loves it tbh, since youre always sleepy your quiet meaning ur calm and is always at peace. he loves being around you its always so peaceful.

he's curious though, you'd wake up from a 7 hour nap and is still yawning complaining about how tired you are.

whenever he sees you you are always knocked out, if not youre on the verge of knocking out. the teachers somehow never catches you despite you always sleeping in class.

sometimes when you lay your head on your table and he'd lay his head too looking at you admiring your calm demeanor.

its really funny sometimes, you two would laugh your lungs out and the next second you are snoring and z's are coming out of yo head

stan

he's really curious abt it, at first when he always sees you sleeping during class or lunch he thought you were a corpse someone drag around.

when he gets to know you though he starts loving you sm. he envies at how you are always tired and could not give a fuck about the world, he wishes he could be like you and sleep anywhere. he tried before, it ended with him being pranked by cartman.

he makes sure everything and everyone around you is quiet so they dont disturb you (aka cartman)

he just wishes you dont fall asleep so easily cz damn you two would be waking to home and then your on the floor with one leg up sleeping like damn ?!?!

kyle

also envy you, he wishes he could just forget about everything and sleep away his problems.

he would ask you for tips on how to sleep so easily and why your so sleepy but you dont know i mean... just sleep yk???

he is so surprised at how your always moving around, like you were just in class sleeping how are you in the cafeteria sleeping again?? now your sleep walking what????

he curses the living shit out of cartman if he tries to wake you up, he's like a full on guard dog when your sleeping

he would carry around a small pillow for you so whenever he hears you you yawn he's ready with a pillow.

cartman

100% would embarrass you when he found out you can sleep easily.

he would offer you a pillow as a nice gesture but when you actually fall asleep he would put a blanket over you and those night caps with pompoms at the end of it. he'd take a picture and tweet it out "mf is the sleeping beauty ‼️"

he also would draw on your faces, but after you beat the living shit out of him for it he stops.... for now.

he honestly finds it so cute, the way your so calm and how you still trust to sleep around him despite the things he did to you in the past.

he also would tell everyone to shut up when your sleeping. he'll make sure nobody bothers your beauty sleep.

craig

he also is curious abt it, like how can you wake up from a 8 hour nap and proceed to continue it at school??

if he texts you and you don't reply he knows immediately that you are sleeping no doubt. you dont know it but whenever your sleeping he stands really close to you and flip everyone off so they don't try to wake you up.

once he flipped a teacher off bc the teacher was tryna wake you up, you both got detention..

he always notices whenever youre sleepy, even if you dont yawn or nothing he can immediately tell.

he finds it so so so so funny too, like you and him would talk to someone and then turning to you just to find you completely knocked out "are they okay?" "dw this happens almost every minute". he laughed to himself at how you are able to make everything your bed.

the wooden desk? its your bed, the floor? thats definitely your bed, the fucking sidewalk?? so comfy.

he also would bring a small pillow everywhere, if youre gonna lay your head down on the concrete atleast be comfortable

tweek

he panics at first "are you ok??" "is she dead??" "are you alive??" you reassure him thats its a habit you have and that you are not dying.

he also envies you, he wants to sleep whenever he feels like it too. everytime you sleep he always watches you and admire you, he says that when your sleeping your beauty increases, you are so sure he's lying bc when you wake up you are drooling...🤨🤨

you'd complain about not wanting to sleep all the time though, he gives you some of his coffee to help.. little does he know 🧍

he would tell everyone to be quiet bc your sleeping and freak out if somebody tried to talk to you for no reason. your confused though, everytime you wake up from a nap your hair looks like you've been in a war, he says its cute?? whatever he says ig

he would try sleeping with you too, sitting beside you and trying to doze off, he fails miserably though.

he's always worried about how the teacher are gonna get mad at you for sleeping and always wakes you up if a teacher looks even a millisecond at you just for the teacher to completely ignored it.

all in all he loves it, he wishes you can teach your ways to him one day.

#south park #south park x y/n #south park x you #south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kenny mccormick x reader #stan marsh x reader #eric cartman x reader #craig tucker x reader #tweek x reader #kenny mccormick #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #eric cartman #craig tucker #tweek tweak

[idkbecks]

have you seen the whole thing with breezy's mom saying ryan was fired for stealing?? i don't want to be sure of anything without confirmation from the boys themselves but uhh it's kind of upsetting combined with everything else going on. if you're comfortable putting this on your blog especially with these being all we have for now, can i ask for your thoughts?

actually i lied, i'll talk about it bc this brings up a good point. i know some people aren't really seeing the original screenshot and are just seeing people talk about the original.

so we don't know anything except three things breezys mom said (first one is from "The iDKHOW Search Party - Fan Group" on Facebook, then the second two are just from her Twitter) which are here:

and then that's kind of it. i mean it seems like it would be weird if this was inaccurate since it's coming from breezy's mom and considering it wouldn't be helpful to idkhow at all.

i definitely felt like something was going on and nobody was saying anything so while breezys mom wasn't the one i'd want to hear about this from, it does give a little insight. some people are saying that breezys mom spread lies about panic stuff so they're hesitant to believe her. i don't know the details of that and i don't even know if that's true, so i'll just say it seems fair to approach it with caution.

so that's all we have been told but this is just my thoughts: love to hear more about it from dallon, breezy or ryan himself but i also understand if it's not something they want to talk about. it wouldnt be dallon's first time getting money stolen from him! so if it is true that's really fucked up and makes me really sad, for dallon AND for ryan because idk why he's need to or want to do that to somebody who has done so much for him (there's been debate over if his contract with idkhow was fair to him financially or not, so i guess that could be part of it hypothetically). if true, i would imagine it could ruin a lot for him. not just with idkhow but with other people and other parts of his life. he's talked about having problems with alcoholism and other bad habits/addictions in the past, and stealing like this would line up with those kinds of things. definitely makes me sad to think about but it doesn't seem overly unrealistic or anything. if it is all true, it makes me sad that ryan has been pretty much just acting normal. like he's been posting on his story and tweeting and just being very normal about everything. >:{

all in all i guess i would say i'm inclined to believe it but definitely want more confirmation to know for sure. i'll add more to this if we find anything else out.

#mine #why ryan why #idkhow #i don't know how but they found me #idkhbtfm #dallon weekes #ryan seaman #i dont know how but they found me

[modelbus]

ok ok WE NEED A CUT CHAOS PART 4 BDBDVZVZ

it’s not milking it if it’s what the people ask for…. This one is a bit different! It’s headcannons style of the other cc’s finding out what happened and such :D

Part 1

Pairing(s): cc!Ranboo, cc!Tubbo, cc!Wilbur and cc!Tommy x Fem!Reader (Platonic) Head Cannons of: Cc!Phil, Cc!Dream, Cc!Niki, and The Public (fans)

Cut Chaos Part 4

Phil

“You what?!”

Is overly concerned, ends up having a long lecture over communication and talking things out.

Even after multiple reassurances that everything is fine now, he’s very disappointed in Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo, and Tommy.

Ends up talking to Kristen about it later, he feels bad that he didn’t realize what was going on while it was happening.

He’s constantly on the lookout that things aren’t actually okay for weeks after that, then relaxes once he realizes you were being serious about it being okay now.

”That’s never happening again, to anyone.”

”It’s nobody’s fault. Just remember to follow basic internet rules and not trust everything we see. We’re literally content creators for fucks sake!”

Is more likely to be lenient on Ranboo, Tubbo, and Tommy but is just all Dad Mode Disappointed.

Dream

You’re the one to tell him, maybe with an offhand remark about hating rumors due to what happened. He pauses and goes, “wait, what?”

Wide-eyed the entire time you explain, this man cannot believe his ears.

”They did that? Really?”

Absolutely pissed on your behalf. Skips worrying and goes straight to muttering curses with a glare.

Deadass just doesn’t believe you when you say it’s okay now.

”Are you sure? Because that’s fucked. That’s really fucked. Good for you on resolving it, but… things don’t sound fine. That doesn’t just go away, right?”

Pushes you to talk to someone about it. A therapist, an animal, someone.

”I just can’t believe…”

He’s 100% blaming Wilbur, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Tommy. All of them. And the internet, for even spreading the rumor.

Posts a vague tweet in his private about disliking rumors being spread about content creators and how harmful it is.

Likes vague tweets then unlikes them.... mr. drama over here...

Niki

When Dream told you to talk to someone about it, you go to Niki.

She gets it, having experienced firsthand how horribly internet rumors can affect your life.

Out of everyone, she blames the internet the most for it.

Although she is still very disappointed in Wilbur, Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo.

”I would’ve expected better from them. I’m sure they didn’t even think about how it’d hurt you. And that’s so frustrating, right?”

Comforting <3

Playing cozy games together

”I’m an open door.”

Somehow it ends with you planning a trip to go hang out with her, although you’re not quite sure how

Also end up planning a stream??

The Public

After a while, after everyone is more comfortable and doesn’t feel absolutely shitty over what happened, it’s a little bit funny.

So there’s little quips in vlogs, streams, and videos that allude to what happened.

”I’m a ghost!” “Just don’t ghost me.”

”They’re talking about rumors, I swear—“ “Rumors, huh?” “…no.”

”Why am I back in videos now? ….don’t worry about it.”

It doesn’t take long for Twitter to realize what happened. The most popular theory is the correct one, leaving mixed opinions.

Most people are advocating to let things be, no matter what happened.

Some people, the mean ones, are saying they should’ve left you out for good.

A lot of your fans are upset at them, but take the cue from you and don’t cause a huge fuss.

Either way, it ends up trending for a little bit on Twitter. It’s slightly ironic to you.

Nobody addresses it to confirm/deny what went on, although when prompted through a donation Tommy says he "fucking loves" you in "a platonic way, chat. PLA-TON-IC!"

And when the Tik Tok fans find out…

incredibly dramatic

”Chaos squad is over guys D:"

Angsty edits

#dsmp #mcyt #mcyt imagine #tommyinnit x reader #tommyinnit x you #tommyinnit #wilbur soot x reader #wilbur soot x you #wilbur soot #tubbo #tubbo x reader #ranboo x reader #ranboo imagine #ranboo mcyt #ranboolive #ranboo

[dezznuggz]

LTLVC WINS $50,000

The groupchat × reader insert

~This will basically be about LTLVC YouTube vid part 4 and how the reader reacts to each groupchat member's elimination.

•(DO NOT READ IF U HAVE NOT SEEN THE VID YET, THERE WILL BE SPOILERS!) There will be use of y/n, reader will go by she/her(sorry) this is my first time so tell me if anything's wrong and pls give me requests. Don't be a silent reader and plz give request...enjoy

<------------------------------------------------------------>

NICK'S ELIMINATION:

We are about a million hours into the challenge and everyone is doing good so far, or that's atleast what they're trying to show. I'm also trying to act off as if I'm not tired by moving around and talking alot. Right now I'm currently eating hot fries while swinging from side to side in my chair. We just finished doing lights off and during lights off I felt like I was losing it mostly when tanner danced as a floating shirt and having nick get mad at us for not being able to be quiet for 5 mins (I was the main person being loud)

"tanner are u still there?" Isaac asks since tanners been quiet, "yea I'm still here, I'm watching the Simpsons look!" Tanner says as he shows us his phone where he was literally watching the Simpsons on Twitter. "Nick?" Isaac moves on to asking Nick since he looks a little too asleep. "Mmm" nick responds to Isaac since he's too sleepy to even respond correctly. "Bro ur barely awake" Isaac tells Nick since he can practically see Nick having on from just a thread, "no I'm just keeping my eyes closed, I'm listening to y'all's conversation.." nick says with his eyes still closed, "bro your actually kidding there's no way your getting sleepy this early its ridiculous" I say to nick cause honestly it is outrageous, "im not sleepy im just bored since im sitting here doing nothing and im fucking cold!" Nick says slightly irritated for being accused of sleeping.

A little bit of time goes by, I'm watching YouTube videos to keep myself entertained, everyone else is talking to each other about God knows what then grunk makes a statement on how Nick looks like Eminem so I take a look at my discord and see Nick with his head down with his hood on. Everyone starts making comments on how he's asleep, then we all turn silent and start whispering to see if Nick responds then suddenly we hear him snoring and all of us practically freak out quietly. "Nick if you don't respond in 10 seconds then I'll remove you for falling asleep first 4 times in a row" Isaac says while whispering. "This is embarrassing" I say very quietly.

10.9.8.7.6.5.4.3.2.1.0...

Isaac then removes nick from the call and all of us were honestly shocked for Nick to fall asleep and get eliminated that early. "Did anyone's else's heart rate like start going up cause mine did" Larry says equally as shocked as everyone, "dude there's actually no way he got out this early, he actually wanted to stay for a long time bro I feel bad" I say since Nick was talking non stop how this year was his year. "That's a new record" tanner says while laughing, "Isaac you have to make the tweet, one down" Larry tells Isaac with tanner still laughing in the back. "He really didn't want to get out yet" yumi says while still shocked, "yea he didn't even get to play lethal company with us" yumi says. Then Larry and Yumi start acting like Nick when he said he wasn't asleep. "He's going to be so mad" I say already knowing how Nick is, "he's probably still asleep bro" grunk says. Nick then joins the call again seeming a little more awake, "hey man wassup" grunk says to nick, then Nick starts talking about how he just had his head down. "Dude you were just sleeping and snoring away" I say and tanner laughs, "you did this to yourself, why'd you do this to yourself, you chose the most comfortable position to sleep in". "You get in the most coziest spots". "Why do you get in the most coziest spots like come on", me, tanner, and grunk start shaming on Nick for practically self sabotaging himself. Nick then says his final goodbyes before leaving the call to sleep while we still have to stay for $50,000.

<------------------------------------------------------------>

GRUNK'S ELIMINATION:

I don't even know how long we've been awake and I don't even remember how long ago yesterday was. After Nick left we had some surprising guests like Santa (who said I was on the naughty list for always being loud and screaming at the boys), and Nick also joined back to the call for a little bit, which we terrorized him for eating almost a dozen donuts. We are doing lights off right now and Larry has a special challenge for us called the black market challenge that he had planned since last year. For the black market challenge we had to listen to men whimpering for SIX WHOLE MINUTES. "That was like cross my heart and hope to die send me to hell now God challenge!" Yumi says after being fully annoyed by the whimper audio, "I'm never participating in the black market challenge ever again" I say after being traumatized, "I'm not gonna lie but that did not feel like 6 minutes, that felt like an hour" tanner says while laughing.

"well I'm going to bed dude, I have to prepare for exams tomorrow" grunk says while sounding sleepy and also a little bit sad. "That's a very mature thing to do grunk, I'm proud of you" I say so grunk doesn't feel fully disappointed in himself for giving up on $50k. Larry then makes a statement on how grunk was a good soldier while Yumi flashbangs himself multiple times while smiling like an insane person. Grunk then explains how he knew he wouldn't have been able to win after hearing Yumi being fully committed to the challenge. "You know what this as a message for everyone to never let a last to leave vc ruin your college" everyone laughs at what I said. "Yes, yes I know but next year imma clear my schedule" grunk says. Everyone says their goodbyes to grunk as he fist bumps his camera and leaves.

"this call looks empty dude" Yumi says as now seeing how far he came, "I'm watching AI Santa clause" tanner says out of the blue "what???" I say while laughing. "Dude I feel bad, ISAAC WHAT THE HELL!" I scream at Isaac, "what did I do?!!" Isaac replies back confused, "I don't know I just need to argue to keep me awake" I say while talking in a much lower and calmer way. "Now I see why you got put on the naughty list" yumi says, I then look at the camera shocked and jokingly hurt, "alright you know what then I'm gonna leave the call" I say while closing my eyes to make it more believable that I'm going to quit, "NO ACTUALLY DONT!" Yumi screams at me to "wake" me up, "yeah that's what I thought keep that same energy" I say and I go back to my phone while Isaac laughs.

<------------------------------------------------------------>

TANNER'S ELIMINATION:

I didn't even bother to keep track of time anymore, at this point I'm army crawling my way to stay awake. Yumi is talking to me but I'm mostly responding to him in a mumbling way or in a short way. Larry takes notice that I'm getting sleepy so he also starts talking to me while trying to make me laugh but as Larry tries talking to me, Yumi ends up being the one responding to Larry while I just zone out and contemplate life. I soon see tanner walk off somewhere to the right but I don't think much of it cause of all people, he's the main one that keeps moving around. "y/n, you good?" Isaac asks me as he sees me being quiet, "I'm straight, I'm Gucci, I'm pure, I'm at my finest right now, if you ask me how good I am right now id tell you I'm good" I say rambling and mumbling on words, "what?!?!" Larry says while laughing at how drained I am right now. "Y/n you can not fall asleep right now! I'm not ready! I'm not there yet!" Yumi yells at me knowing that if I fall asleep then he's gonna want to leave the call. "Woah who said I was falling asleep, did u not just hear how fucking fresh I am right now" I say no longer mumbling, "where's tanner?" Isaac asks, "I think he went to the bathroom I don't know" Larry answers Isaac's question and we continue talking about how Isaac's dad was practically giving us a little nap break, "no cause I remember when I got eliminated the first time, I was going to play it off as a joke" Larry says while trying to keep himself awake, "dude I remember that, I felt so bad but it was so funny" I say while laughing a little. "It's like when you're in class and your feet fall" Yumi says as he acts as if he fell over but got woken up in class, "exactly like that then you gotta check to see what everyone else is doing and they're all reading" I say while laughing starting to get a little more energized. "Is tanner still in the bathroom?" Isaac asks but no one really answers him but instead Yumi makes a new conversation about his PC being bipolar or something.

We then all hear a phone ring and we go quiet, "who are you calling?" I asked the question that Larry and Yumi wanted to ask, "are y'all 100% sure that tanners in the bathroom?" Isaac asks while being a little bit suspicious. "I heard him say he was going to the bathroom". "I didn't hear him say he was going to the bathroom" Yumi and Larry say almost at the same time, "when tanner says he's going to the bathroom, we don't know" laughing a little Knowing that tanner would do something dumb like that. "Imma head downstairs to get a bowl of cereal, you want me to check in tanners room?" I ask Isaac, "yea can you do that please thank you" Isaac responds to me and I head out of my room. I walk into tanners room and although it's dark I can still see the big dark figure laying on tanners bed that so happens to be tanner himself, I let out a quiet giggle and I walk over to his PC. I bring his mic close to my mouth "he's laying on his bed playing angry birds" I say very quietly and I let out a breathy laugh, I then go to tanners bed and I take a picture, after the picture I take his phone and show Yumi and tanner that I have his phone, "he's knocked out cold, he's dead asleep, he's out dude" I say before having tanner leave the call.

I got my bowl of cereal and I walked back into my room to still hear Yumi, Larry, and Isaac talking about tanners elimination, "wait y/n did you take a picture?" Isaac asks me, "oh yeah let me send it to y'all" I say while laughing a little while still remembering how tanner looked while asleep. "No yea I walk in there and he's fucking asleep, I didn't get a good picture of it tho but he only has 2 stars on every level" I say to the people that are still left in the call, "wait what I thought you get 3 stars automatically if you complete the level" Yumi says a little shocked on how much of a noob tanner is at angry birds. "Alright new challenge y/n, we listen to lullaby music while watching the herds till we fall asleep" Larry says while chuckling, "we get tucked in, a binky, and a warm glass of milk" Yumi butts in, "alright I'm down" I say while being sleep deprived.

<------------------------------------------------------------>

LARRY'S ELIMINATION:

I'm already sleep deprived and at this point I'm finding everything funny for some reason and it doesn't make it better when Yumi won't stop talking about something dumb. "What's up with my lighting? What are you talking about? Are you jealous? Are you jealous cause you're poor? Oh you're not gonna get the 50k to help you buy it cause you're poor and you're gonna just stay poor" Yumi rambling to Larry about his lighting and I keep just keeping laughing at absolutely nothing, "oh yeah well you're so rich-" Larry cuts himself off from laughing, "y/n what are you laughing about?!!?" Larry asks while also laughing at me laughing about nothing. "Dude they're both at their breaking point" Isaac says while watching both Larry and I laugh non stop, "they're both losing it" Yumi adds on to what Isaac said.

Isaac then starts asking me why girls like thongs, "dude i don't know I haven't worn those in like ages" I say while calming down from laughing, "she hasn't worn a thong since 100 B.C" Larry says while laughing which caused me to laugh again. "No dude they just feel it different then what we feel" Yumi says but then quickly adds on how Isaac is gay for even thinking that, "no for real tho I think it has something to do with preventing less sweat and not to show our pantie lines" I say while still laughing a little, "oh no yea that too, girls don't like to show their pantie lines, yea I said that" Yumi says..."You did not say anything close to that" Isaac says. Isaac and Yumi start talking about whatever and I just kept zoning out to the point that I was falling asleep so I sat up straight and tried butting into their conversation to hopefully wake me up. "Isaac wake Larry up right now. There's no way he's sleeping, start the count down dude wake him up" Yumi says to Isaac while Isaac tries asking Larry what cuervo meant and he got no response. "No Larry better not be asleep I swear to god-" I say but got cut off by Isaac "wait wait okay 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,0" Isaac counts down in a very unenthusiastic way. "KICK HIM! KICK HIM NOW!" Yumi yells at Isaac, who still gave Larry more time to wake up just in case he was trolling, "No dude they got Larry" I say fake crying as if he died. Larry then joins back after Yumi finishes his little celebration for being apart of the last 2, "dude what the fuck happened" I say to Larry, "no here's the thing- oh my God my heart is fucking beating fast!" Larry says and then he explains how him getting eliminated felt unreal and that he's not gonna be a sore loser about it which caused Yumi to compliment Larry for being a good teammate. "Bye Larry cheer for me in your dreams, imma win this for you" I say to Larry before Larry jokingly blows a girly kiss and wave at his camera then leaving.

<------------------------------------------------------------>

THE FINAL 2:

It was just me, Yumi, and Isaac and we were both over it. My strategy simply didn't work but instead back fired at me. I was supposed to talk and argue with everyone so I can stay awake but instead I ended up zoning out almost halfway through which caused me to become even sleepier. "Isaac if you paid me $5000 right now, I'll leave" I say as I'm trying to leave the call with atleast a little bit of money, "no absolutely not" Isaac says while being completely over everything going on, "okay how about $5,000.50¢?" I say still trying to leave the call with just a little bit of money, "ooo you know what that's a good deal I would take it" Yumi agrees with me, "what no, you guys do realize that I have to give the winner 50k while also paying the loser 5k?" Isaac says trying to reason with me and Yumi but we still don't seem to get it and Isaac just gets frustrated.

"on the scale from 1-10 how sleepy are you Yumi?" Isaac asks Yumi so that he too can stay awake, "I would say, I would say, I would say, I don't know, id probably say-". "DUDE WHATS YOUR SCALE AT RIGHT NOW??!!" I scream at Yumi cause him not comprehending is causing me to not comprehend either. "I don't know id say I'm in another planet but I'm not sleepy, like I'm in another planet that higher and better than y'all's planet" Yumi says and it goes silent, "...imma be honest with you, for someone that says they on another planet, you don't look like you're on another planet right now?" I say while laughing a little which caused Yumi to laugh, "no cause y/n laughs at her own jokes" Yumi says while laughing, "honestly if y/n could date herself she would, wouldn't you y/n?" Isaac asks "if I could fuck myself I would trust me" I say without a single thought in my brain and all Isaac and Yumi did was laugh.

"okay one of y'all has to be on the verge to quit and I'm taking a bet that it's y/n" Isaac says in hopes of riling y/n up so she can stay awake, "how'd you know, Isaac's so smart, you're a smart guy Isaac" I say in a sarcastic tone cause I am on the verge of quiting, "Isaac you know y/n got invited to a Christmas party yesterday" Yumi says since isaac conversation plan didn't work out, "YEAHHHHHH" i say in a very cheer tone, "you're going for the food aren't you?" Isaac says, "yeah" I say back to my calm self while looking at my phone and Yumi laughs.

I'm looking at my phone and my mouth literally hangs open and my head starts feeling like 50 pounds so I nod off for a little bit since Yumi and Isaac are talking so a couple seconds of sleep wouldn't hurt. I feel relaxed, I feel better, I feel fresh, I feel happy, I feel...wait...why's everything quiet? I open my eyes to see my PC on the general chat and my heart completely falls to my ass. I panic and I see that Isaac and Yumi are still in the call so I quickly join. "Y/N WHAT HAPPENED?!!??" Isaac screams in my ear and I'm still shocked like I don't even know what's going on, "dude I swear I wasn't even asleep!" I say as I have a shocked face the whole time and no longer feeling sleepy, "I was actually rooting for you y/n, I'm so disappointed" Isaac says while Yumi cheers and laughs. "IM JUST AS SHOCKED AS YOU ISAAC WHAT THE FUCKKK" I say also disappointed in myself cause I came so far and I never won any of the LTLVC, I thought this year was also going to be my year. Yumi and I have calmed down but Yumi is still chatty and hyped up at the fact that he won $50,000, "Isaac...am I still gonna get the $5,000.50¢?" I ask politely, "no get the fuck out the call, congrats on winning Yumi, imma go to sleep leave me alone" Isaac says as he disconnects me and Yumi and I headed to sleep Knowing that I could've won half a million.

<------------------------------------------------------------>

#the group chat x reader #softwilly x reader #yumi × reader #isaacwhy x reader #tanner × reader #the group chat #the groupchat podcast #larry × reader #ltlvc #first post #give request

[puriiinz]

ꕤ GARLIC BREAD? smau | ellie w.

08:00- nevertheless

a/n: 07 n this are prob my fav chapters so far :3 yn and ellie r cuties

contains: cursing, hinted (?) internilized homophobia

“yn! hi!” ellie slightly jogged towards yn when she saw her from across the playground. yn looked up with a frightened expression, making ellie confused.

“um… is there something behind me or..?” that made yn snap out of the trance she was in and she immediately smiled.

“ELLIE! no sorry i just- i saw a tweet.. it had spoilers so… yeah.”

“ohhh…”

“yeah..” the atmosphere between the two became awkward, almost uncomfortable. ellie sat down on the bench yn was sitting on and got comfortable, missing the slighty panicked and flustered look on yn’s face.

“what was it about?”

“huh?”

“the spoiler.”

“what spoiler..?”

that made ellie laugh. sitting up straight, she explained what she was talking about.

“you told me you saw a tweet that contained spoilers, what were the spoilers about?”

“OH! yeah um… it was about the walking dead- the games. i just keep on seeing them even though i haven’t interacted with a single post about it.”

“yeah that’s the worst! i don’t open my phone at all when i’m playing games. unless someone calls me of course.” ellie smiled and her smile made yn all jittery.

“that’s actually kinda smart but my attention span is very short, i have to do something different when i’m doing something that takes too long to complete.” yn pouted slightly and that made ellie scream in her head.

“does that inconvenience you in any way?”

yn stopped and think for a second, trying to remember if she cried out of anger because she couldn’t focus on anything.

“well other than tests and exams… i don’t think so? if i didn’t look at something different every once in a while that’d make me get bored and i wouldn’t touch the thing that i was doing for a long time.” yn answered while looking at the kids scattered around the playground. “when i say it out loud it seems bad but it’s not, trust me.”

ellie put her hands up and smiled, “whatever you say princess.” she leaned forward to get closer to yn’s face “you wanna come back to mine?”

yn coughed, not expecting the sudden question, and looked at ellie with questioning eyes. “what for?”

ellie shrugged and pursed her lips, “whatever you want, you can cook or lay down and sleep. doesn’t matter really.”

“okay then..?”

ellie suddenly stood up, startling yn in the process, and extended her hand. “come on.” yn took her hand and let ellie help her stand up. after smoothing out her outfit she let ellie pull her towards her car, giggling silently.

“ellie... you burned the garlic..."

"WHAT?" ellie quickly turned around to see if she'd really let the garlic burn (she did) and had the audacity to look confused.

"that looks caramelized to me though..?"

yn sighed deeply and turned the stove off, tossed the garlic into the trash and washed the pan to use it again.

"we don't want it caramelized though."

"are you mocking me?"

"no... maybe."

ellie crossed her arms and sat on the counter "in my defense i don't know how to cook so.."

"you made garlic bread didn't you?"

ellie pouted, “well i wanted to impress you, and i had to prove to jesse and dina that i could bake! plus baking and cooking are two different things.”

“i mean they’re not THAT different. you do both of them in the kitchen, you use your stove and your oven and everyting else to do both. and most importantly you eat both.”

“oh look we got fucking gordon ramsey over here.”

yn let out a little ‘hey!’ and kicked ellie’s legs. that made ellie stand up and tickle yn, which made her turn around to push ellie off after suddenly letting go of the pan that she was washing, which resulted in splashing yn.

“this is all your fault you know that?”

“oh come on, how is everything my fault? you let go of the pan!”

yn turned around, looking ellie dead in the eye, “i dropped the pan because you tickled me.”

“you kicked me!”

“and you made fun of me.”

“you were being a smartass”

“YOU burnt the garlic.”

it was silent for a few minutes and ellie started talking while yn changed her tshirt.

“well i actually don’t have anything to say to that… other than i’m sorry for burning the garlic”

yn’s eyes softened when she saw that ellie actually looked guilty and pinched her cheeks.

“ellie i’m not actually mad… it doesn’t matter if you burnt it or not.” ellie smiled and stood up, took her phone out and looked at yn.

“mcdonalds?”

“fuck yes.”

tags !— @inf3ct3dd

#puriiinz #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x fem reader #dina tlou #jesse tlou #tlou2 #tlou #dina the last of us #smau #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie x reader #jesse the last of us

[xerith-42]

I decided to watch Void Paradox

I'm about five minutes into the first episode and I'm still not entirely sure if this is a good idea or not, but Laurance has already spoken like three lines of dialogue and I felt my heart wrench at just one of them, so clearly I'm in too deep now.

This post serves as my live tweeting/mental break down that I am currently having as we speak. It is very incomprehensible because it is literally just my thoughts as they happen, and given how much I have to say, I'll probably make proper posts out of a lot of these points once I finish the series.

This mess is just giving you a taste of the madness I truly posses.

I am only three minutes in before I have to pause and feel the urge to scream about how bad the dialogue in Aphmau series can be. Like this series is fairly okay, especially based on the standard set by her other shows but man... something is just not working here. The whole thing feels very clunky and while I can get the gist of what Jess is going for, the execution of said gist is leaving a lot to be desired.

[Laurance shows up]

nevermind Laurance is on screen and fully voice acted everything is better

Literally nobody talk to me I need to scream about Laurance Zvahl because he is EVERYTHING in this series. The way he very softly says Aph's name when he sees her, the immediate instinct to hug her because he's so relieved to see her, the fact that you can hear the smile in his voice the minute he registers that she's there and alive!! AUGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!

And I literally screamed when he revealed that he was transported to this AU right at the end of season 1. Oh my Irene, I screamed. I collapsed. I was truly defeated by a single line of dialogue. I don't know where this series is going to go but I am here for it. And the fact that he knows Garroth did it and hid it from her???

I can't overstate how genuinely healing it is to hear Laurance fully voice acted. I know Sebastian Todd is retired from voice acting, but when he retired, he took down all his posts, including what I considered to be a comfort video. That video of him reading iconic Laurance lines from before he was in mcd/lines he just didn't act? That video was my everything when I was trying to hold onto this version of the character I knew I loved who was different to what Jess made him. When that video got taken down it was a major cowabummer bc there's so little properly voice acted Laurance content that isn't mcd Season 3 or My Street stuff (and I can't stand My Street like 80% of the time)

Hearing his voice, hearing him get to be properly expressive, it's just doing things to me man. I missed this character a lot. I've mostly been enjoying him through fan content or my own work. It's nice to say I enjoy a piece of canon content involving him, at least so far.

Still not sure how I feel about literally anything else. The whole relationship between Aph and Tommy feels very... weird. She describes herself as "basically his mother" after she's left with him, and treats him like it in the opening scene. But then when he's mocking her for being attracted to Laurance (so relatable), it seems really weird for a [checks wiki] 14 year old kid to be calling out his mom for finding someone hot. Feels a lot more like sibling dialogue to me? Which I guess they could be seen as siblings, but the series explicitly stated that she views it like motherhood??? But I don't think Jess is even thinking that deeply about it, I just over analyze her work for fun at this point.

Okay what the actual fuck is going on with the inside of this house???

Why is the color scheme purple and yellow? And not in any kind of flattering way which is possible with opposite colors, it just has both of them. The wallpaper changes when you get into the living room except not entirely on the windows, and in an earlier scene it looked like it wasn't even put onto all of the walls. And the wood that she used as supports just does not compliment either of these colors as they are. Just make it all purple, you know you want to Jess.

Also is the texture on the table and the glass the same??? I don't know a damn thing about modding or making texture/data packs for minecraft but that just seems. odd.

Laurance: mentions the nether Me: [screams just a little]

Tommy: shows up and gives a random ass lore dump Aph: Kay thanks go back to your room

"I don't know what I can do to help."

"Just be there for me. I just need someone to ground me right now."

I literally want to shake Laurance around like a rag doll and give him a stupid kiss on his stupid fucking face UGH why can't I be normal about this block man and his stupid feelings?!?! The way his voice breaks as despair sets in?? The fact that he's no doubt pieced together that Garroth probably stole the amulet and plans to use it to hurt Aph and he can't do anything about it?? I'm literally losing it.

How did I not watch this series before.

Literally about to cry over him just calling Aph "M'lady" out of pure instinct. He didn't consciously do that. He just misses her that much.

oh no spooky evil alternate Laurance or whatever--

MAN I'm so happy I decided to watch this series. This was probably a mistake though :)

#this sure is a post #it is what it is #text post #aphmau #void paradox #laurance zvahl #mental breakdance #this is a very chaotic post #I would not advise trying to read this #aphblr #aphverse #minecraft diaries laurance

[tommybowefuneralattendee]

66 with shaymien please

number 66 on the spreadsheet is from this list of prompts the prompt you generated in specific is: drawing circles and patterns on their chest

linked on ao3 || read under the cut || 6.3k, rated E

summary:

[ Tweet from Damien Haas @DamienHaas on Dec 7, 2023 at 6:27pm reading: "Hey y'all, I know it's a streaming night, but I've been a very lucky fellow with some really cool stuff going on this week and am therefore extremely tired. Think it's best I listen to my (actually kinda dizzy at this point) body and sit this one out. 😬👍" ] || or, shayne comes to check on damien.

Check your front door. It's a text from Shayne, so honestly, it's not as weird as it could be. He's just standing in his kitchen and trying to make himself focus for long enough to make himself something actually good to eat and not just order takeout for the third time this week, so it's not like the front door checking is interrupting anything important. Still, he takes his time making it through the apartment, not rushing in the hopes of not aggravating his already irritated joints. This always happens when he doesn't sleep enough. He overdoes it and then his body tells him all about it like he wasn't there the whole time. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

It's never easy to remind himself that he's just an animal. That he's doing his best. He pulls open the door to something he does not expect for some reason, like Shayne's mother-henning ass hasn't always been like this. Virgo man motherfucker. Psychology degree asshole. Damien hates how warm and cared for the hovering always makes him feel, how it makes him feel so close to something that he still doesn't know how to ask Shayne for, even as long as they've been friends.

He leans against the door frame, tired but as happy to see Shayne as he always is. "What are you doing here, Shayne?" he asks, not really harsh but not as nice a tone he would typically take with Shayne either. Guilt immediately stirs in Damien's stomach, but Shayne just pushes past him, not lingering on it in the slightest. He has two grocery bags hanging off his arm like a middle aged mother of three, his hip cocked out when he turns around to look at Damien completing the image. There's a moment of silent communication, Shayne looking at him with that irritating (incredible, incandescent, inspiring) optimism and Damien looking back with fatigue dripping from every piece and part of him.

"Dude, I'm sorry, but if you say on fucking Twitter that you're so tired you're dizzy, me not coming over is not how this is going to go down," Shayne says, shrugging his shoulders. He claps his hands together once and moves through Damien's apartment like he owns the place, no regard for whether Damien actually intended for him to stay or not. Something warm sits in Damien's chest at his insistence, but really, he can handle himself. It's been a good little while since he and Shayne lived together, and he's been totally fine. Mostly fine. Adequately fine.

He's gotten medicated and he thinks that's a good start.

"Shayne, you know I'm a grown up, right?" he asks, raising an eyebrow as he follows his best friend into the kitchen, watching as he pulls groceries out of the two bags he brought in. This bastard. Shayne stacks comfort food after comfort food of Damien Haas onto the counter, almost exactly what Damien would have bought if he had energy to go to the store earlier. There are even some things he would have forgotten or just missed, little candies and a drink and a bag of chips that he loves but never would have occurred to him, but Shayne picked them out for him anyway. Embarrassingly enough, tears prick at the corners of Damien's eyes. Maybe he isn't as grown up as he thought; adults cry, adults cry, adults cry. When he sniffs, unable to help it, Shayne looks over from his bounty with concern.

"Hey, hey, bud, come here," he says gently, pulling Damien into his arms and rubbing his back soothingly. Damien can't fucking help it. He clings to Shayne and just starts sobbing, not really upset but just so fucking tired. He feels like a toddler, crying just because he's overwhelmed, but Shayne is just pulling him closer, making soothing sounds as he guides Damien over to his own couch. He's suddenly but viscerally glad that he has the apartment alone for the night. Shayne seeing him in this condition is bad enough, but anyone on this goddamn planet who isn't Shayne Robert Topp? So much fucking worse. Shayne has seen him through a twelve hour flight to Tokyo, through every bad phase he's had in his adult life, through struggle and thriving and everything between. Now, he cards his fingers through Damien's hair, sitting back against one of the arms of the couch with Damien so close he's almost in his lap.

"'m sorry," he says, muffled against Shayne's t-shirt. Shayne wraps his arms around him a little tighter, pulls him a little closer, and it's so fucking nice. Like how dogs with anxiety are given thunder vests. The thought startles a raspy giggle out of him, a sound like laughter went through the dishwasher.

"No need to be sorry," Shayne says, hands firm on Damien's back. "You should tell me what's funny, though. Letting me in on the joke always makes you feel a little better," he jokes, but honestly? It's true. A joke can be great, but it will always be better followed by Shayne's laughter. Even in public, he can't help the way he looks to make sure that Shayne laughs at things he says, can't help but tune his humor exactly to his best friend's tastes. They typically have a fairly similar sense of humor anyway, but there are some jokes he would never make without Shayne in the room, just because he knows that he could save it and make his best friend laugh so hard he cries. And that's awesome. Unlike the way that Damien is crying into his shoulder right now. Totally not awesome. He does this a lot, extracting himself from the situation mentally so that he can view it through a detached, analytical lens. His therapist says it's fairly typical for autistic adults. Still, Damien's body does not agree with the lack of attention that he'd like to give it. He makes himself fully tune back into Shayne.

"You're my thunder vest," he says nonsensically; it startles some giggles from Shayne anyway, a cute little snort too. Shayne is already being so nice to him, he shouldn't fuck it up by thinking of him like that. That's something that he's pushed down his entire adult life, he can push it down again now. Repress, reframe, repeat.

"Are you a Pomeranian having an anxiety attack?" Shayne asks, voice shot through with that tender humor, that tone he takes when he's trying to make Damien laugh for his own sake rather than for humor itself. He huffs a laugh against the side of Shayne's neck, hiding his face. He can feel himself returning to equilibrium, thankfully not lingering in that teary, fragile place that he can get stuck in sometimes. Mostly when he's overwhelmed. Shayne helps with that, though. Thunder vest.

"Nah, just a really tired dude. Pressure's still nice, though," Damien says, snuggling deeper against his best friend. Shayne rests a warm, steady hand on the back of his neck.

"You wanna get in bed with your weighted blanket and I'll come sit with you after I make you a little snack?" he suggests, making it abundantly clear that Damien's choice on the matter will be whatever they're doing tonight. They hadn't even planned to hang out tonight. Shayne is so ready to throw away his entire evening for this. For him. Damien makes a protesting noise.

"You're comfy," he says, his words so close to a whine that he's a little embarrassed. Shayne chuckles, the hand on the back of Damien's neck squeezing for just a second.

"What, you want me to come lay down with you?" Shayne asks, and it's obvious that he's joking, that this is a bit, but does Damien want that? Absolutely. He wants to be in bed with Shayne, he wants the comfort of Shayne holding him, he wants to fall asleep with Shayne's arms around him. He must tense, or flinch, or something, too tired to keep himself in check and masked, because Shayne pulls him up by the back of his neck, hauling him up just enough to look him in the eye. Still, Damien avoids eye contact. Shayne dips his head, just looking at Damien for a moment. "We can do that, you know. Nothing's stopping us," he says, still so fucking gentle, so quiet it's practically a whisper. Damien still can't make eye contact with him, gaze resting on the calming blue of Shayne's shirt. Everything about Shayne is calming to him. He just wishes he didn't need him so much.

"You don't have to," he says, fist balled in the bottom of Shayne's shirt. Shayne hums, smoothing a hand over his back.

"Well, I don't really have to do much of anything, but you've never been something I had to do, Damien," he says, brushing his lips over Damien's temple before he starts pushing him up, manipulating him physically to move if he can't do so verbally. A wet laugh cracks out of Damien as he gives into the direction, standing and offering a hand to Shayne to help him do the same. Shayne takes the help, keeping their hands linked as he leads Damien to his own bedroom, as if this isn't an apartment Damien could traverse with his fucking eyes closed. He follows anyway, because he would follow Shayne anywhere, and isn't that the truest thing about him, that dedication he's had to his best friend for his entire adult life. He and Shayne have been defined in relation to one another so many times over their years together, and while with most people, Damien minds, in this, he's settled. He's so fucking tired. He really does close his eyes for a long second before they reach his doorway.

"You don't have to," he repeats softly. Shayne turns to look at him, not releasing his hand but just looking at Damien, reading his face and his body language, reading all of these signs he knows better than anyone Damien's ever known. He lifts his free hand to Damien's face, palm warm against his cheek. Damien can't help leaning into it.

"I want to," Shayne says softly, sounding more like a reminder than anything, and really, it is. He knows that Shayne loves him. He knows that Shayne cares. He knows that Shayne wouldn't be here if Shayne didn't want to be, that it's always one hundred percent easier to do nothing than it is to do something, but still. Shayne's hand moves to the back of his neck. "How do you wanna do this, Dames? Your circus, your monkeys," he says; Damien snorts, unlacing their fingers to push at Shayne's chest. He stumbles back a little, the dramatic shithead, grinning at Damien as he sits on the edge of the bed. God, he cannot fucking look up at him like that. Sleepy eyed and ridiculously fond, Damien scratches his nails through the hair at the nape of Shayne's neck.

He clears his throat. It's never been easy to ask for what he wants. Shayne's hands are steady on his hips, too comforting for words. "Can I, um," he starts, stopping himself to clear his throat again. Shayne pulls on him a little, not enough to knock him at all, but enough to keep him in the moment. Damien's not sure he knows how to be anywhere else. "I wanna lay on your chest, dude. Is that, like. Is that cool?" he asks, his speech stunted and apparently his emotions too, fuck. Shayne's smile gets wider before it gets softer- he knows the look of Shayne Topp choosing kindness, and this is one of those times. Shayne lets go of him and lays back, kicking off his jeans before he's scooting up to the head of the bed and looking at Damien for his next cue. He looks pretty against Damien's pillows. Impatient with his hesitation, Shayne reaches for him.

"Come on, man, lay on me, let's do this," he says. Damien can't help laughing, tension breaking as he rids himself of his pants and kneels on the edge of the bed, lowering himself down over Shayne carefully. Shayne pulls at him, quick and confident where Damien's slow and hesitant, always compensating for one another whether they mean to or not. Damien curls his fingers in Shayne's shirt, the fabric soft between his fingers. Pulling Damien's weighted blanket over them, Shayne shuffles a bit til Damien is pulled close against his side, finally settling when their legs are slotted together, Damien's knee between his own. Between the warmth of Shayne beneath him and the weight of his blanket across his shoulders, Damien is probably the most comfortable he's been in weeks if not months if not years. He presses his face into Shayne's shoulder.

"Thank you," he says quietly, unable to make himself louder but needing to say it anyway. Shayne's arm tightens around his lower back briefly. Damien occupies himself drawing shapes on Shayne's chest, circles and patterns and just feeling the warmth there, feeling Shayne's heartbeat beneath his fingertips.

"Any time, Deem," Shayne whispers back, rubbing his hand across the small of Damien's back, rucking up his shirt a bit. Damien doesn't even mind the slight discomfort of the bunched fabric for the way Shayne's hand on his skin makes him feel. He doesn't know how to describe it, the absolute safety he feels with Shayne holding him like this and the undercurrent of electricity that flows through it, how the safety and the fog of attraction do not argue with one another in the slightest, but rather make Damien drowsy and comfortable, secure where he lay. He doesn't fall asleep immediately, rather floating in this comfortable place where the sound of Shayne's breathing is the only noise he needs. The fingers of his free hand have trailed just a bit under Shayne's shirt at the jut of his hip. His face hidden, his senses tuned almost completely out. He doesn't even recognize the comfortable arousal for what it is, pooling at the base of his spine.

He doesn't realize he's essentially dry humping his best friend until he's already doing it, and he couldn't say for sure how long he's been doing it, really. Fuck. Shayne catches him by the hip when Damien freezes, holding him in place. Damien's heart nearly stops in his chest. Leaning back a bit to face the music of this actually able to see one another's face, he starts to try to pull back even more, equal parts not wanting to make Shayne uncomfortable and sure he already has. He's held in place with a firmer grip.

"No, can I-" Shayne starts, big blue eyes looking up at Damien with so many emotions it's like a kaleidoscope of sky and sea. "I wanna take care of you," he murmurs, sliding his hand back up the back of Damien's shirt. It's only with the touch of skin on skin that Damien even understands what he's saying, blinking rapidly. Oh. Oh? Oh. Damien clears his throat, gaze locked somewhere to the left of Shayne's face.

"You really do not have to do that," Damien says, too afraid that this is just another thing that Shayne would be willing to do for him but not strong enough to tell him no outright. Shayne's hand is on his jaw again. Fuck.

"I really want to," he breathes, kissing Damien softly on the mouth. If they were younger, maybe this would have been a surprise. Maybe he would have freaked out and shot out of bed and not spoken to Shayne for a couple of days, maybe if they were younger, he would press Shayne into the mattress and take care of this himself, but. They're older now, and even if neither of them really feel fully grown, the growing they have done has been with each other in mind, and Damien relaxes into Shayne so reflexively, so naturally. There's something about your best friend that will always make you feel safe with your heart in their hands. Their kiss is gentle and slow, Shayne's hand holding him steady and Damien's eyes close, safe. It's so fucking safe. The hand on his back pulls Damien forward a bit, just enough to rock his pelvis against his best friend's hip and holy fuck.

"Shayne," he says raggedly, breaking the kiss to hide his face in Shayne's shoulder. Shayne guides him forward again, Damien going willingly this time. He can't help the soft whine that tears itself out of his throat at the new contact, desperate to rut against Shayne's hip til he cums, but too embarrassed to just... reach out and take what Shayne is offering. When Shayne next speaks, his mouth close to Damien's ear, the deep rumble of his voice makes him shudder.

"Go ahead, Dames. Come on," he urges him, pulling Damien to roll his hips forward again; Damien sinks his teeth into Shayne's shoulder through his shirt, not really a choice but an instinct, a desire he simply cannot push down. Shayne gives him a pleased little noise, not quite a moan and not a hum either, really. He encourages Damien forward again, pulling him in like getting Damien off is just as good for him as it is for Damien himself. Damien resettles the weight of his hips, making himself more able to grind his thigh against Shayne's crotch. The other man keens, high and clear, and there's no way Damien can keep going under these conditions.

"Dude, you're gonna make me cum both touching me and sounding like that," he teases, lazy grin pressed against Shayne's skin.

"Are you sure? I could finger you open, fuck you to sleep," Shayne offers, his surely lascivious smile painting the words even dirtier than they are. Damien groans, even his arousal tinted with laughter when it's with Shayne. Holy shit.

"Jesus fucking Christ, yeah, we're definitely doing that at some point in the future, but I don't know if-" he cuts himself off, not really sure why he doesn't want to, but just that he doesn't. He's looking up at him when Shayne's expression softens and he busses a kiss across Damien's temple, pulling him forward gently again. He kisses Damien's head again, hands so careful on his skin, like Damien is delicate, like Damien is precious. He rolls his hips slow, almost tentative, like Damien wasn't the one who started this. Damien's fingers curl in Shayne's shirt; Shayne pushes him up a bit for a second, whipping off his shirt before pulling Damien back down. Immediately overwhelmed by all of the freshly available skin, Damien does the first thing that comes to mind: again, he bites. The muscle of Shayne's peck is fucking satisfying between his teeth, the noise Shayne makes even more so. Even as tired as he is, desperation pulls at Damien, not just to feel good himself but to make Shayne feel good, to be the reason his boy makes those noises.

"Oh fuck, good. Good, Dames. Take what you need," Shayne coaxes him. Heat shoots through Damien at the praise, the encouragement, all of it. He wasn't even really aware that was something he liked partners to give him, really. Praise has never been high on the priority list. From Shayne, it makes pre-cum spill into his boxers. He ruts against Shayne til his breath comes short, Shayne's hand firm on the back of his neck. So turned on, and sleepy, and comfortable, and safe, Damien trails his fingers beneath the waistband of Shayne's, pausing for long enough to look him in the eye.

"Can I?" he asks. His voice breaks a little, lust shot through it. Shayne hums, pulling off his own boxers and then raising an eyebrow at Damien, fingers hooked in to take Damien's off as well. Damien nods, and Shayne follows through immediately, such is his nature. He guides Damien out of his shirt as well, quick and efficient. He's never known Shayne to disappoint him, to take any more time than was needed. With that said, he doesn't expect a calloused hand to wrap around his cock immediately, thumbing over the head with practiced ease.

"Jesus, baby boy," Damien says, halfway between a gasp and a whimper, embarrassing if Damien gave a single fuck right now at this moment with his cock leaking in Shayne's hand, feeling so good and calm and taken care of that there are tears pricking at his eyes again. Shayne cups the back of his head, fingernails scratching through Damien's hair a little harder than before, enough to make Damien press into it.

"You sound so pretty, Deem. Come on, baby. Take what you need. You're doing so good," Shayne praises, coaxing and encouraging and so, so sweet. Affection drips from him like making Damien cum is just another way to take care of him, and maybe it is. Maybe all they've been doing for years is taking care of one another, maybe Damien loves Shayne more than he's ever loved anybody in his life, maybe Shayne is so deeply beneath his skin that Damien doesn't know where he ends and Shayne begins. Damien drops his head to lean against Shayne's collarbone, hot breath fanning across Shayne's chest is as he thrusts into Shayne's hand, shivers rolling down his spine in droves.

"Shayne," he says brokenly, his voice coming more ragged by the second. Shayne lets go of his dick and Damien can't help the whine that follows, though it turns quickly into a moan as Shayne pulls at him, encouraging him to continue rubbing off against his best friend. The syrupy pleasure of it makes Damien's head feel more thick with sleep rather than lessening its hold on him. Still, he grinds down against Shayne as well, never a selfish lover, but Shayne redirects his motion.

"I'll take care of me later, okay? Let me take care of you right now," he whispers, fingers carding through Damien's hair. Damien blinks down at him, head tilted toward the side and motion stopping all together. "You're tired, Deem. You'll get a chance to touch me, but this is about you. Let me make this about you, okay?" he requests, and how can Damien deny him anything? He tucks his face against Shayne's throat and rolls his hips, obediently losing any and all focus to the sensation of thrusting against Shayne's skin. Shayne's nails dig into his scalp a little harder, reflexive, and Damien bites down on Shayne's shoulder, reactionary. A soft, pleased noise falls from Shayne's mouth and then there's a kiss pressed to Damien's hair, that one spot of innocent affection in the middle of all of this sex and friction sending Damien right off that deep end.

He knows that Shayne is praising him and rubbing his back, hands careful on his skin, but Damien feels a million miles away. Love, love, love beats a tattoo in his chest, overwhelming and cosmic, so overwhelming in fact that it rolls back around to feel like the most natural thing in the world. He pulls Shayne in for a desperate kiss, starting to get a little bit overstimulated but not enough to stop, not enough to know better. Even coming down from the high of cumming on his best friend, Damien knows that this was not the solution to making him more able to actually get to sleep. The need to touch Shayne is buzzing beneath his skin, thick and heavy, obvious and reckless, and Damien presses down onto Shayne with a gentle kiss to his mouth, enthusiastic but careful. Shayne sighs against his mouth, lacing his fingers in Damien's hair. Damien gives him another kiss, but ultimately pulls back to look at Shayne's face.

Shayne tries to push himself back to get up, but Damien grabs onto him, not entirely on purpose but not really an accident either. Shayne raises an eyebrow at him. "I want-" he stumbles over his words, unable to make himself just be honest, even when Shayne so obviously just wants to make him happy. He pushes his face into Shayne's shoulder, sure that the other man is getting impatient with him, but Shayne just cups his face, pulling him in to give him such a fucking gentle look.

"What do you want, Dames? Anything you want," Shayne promises softly, not breaking eye contact with Damien. He can feel his face going red, and he knows that he's flustered and embarrassed, but it's what he wants. He wants to be able to tell Shayne what he wants. He clears his throat.

"Can we, um. I've thought about something, like. A lot. Like at least once every time we've ever sat on a bed together maybe, a lot," he says, finally able to externalize some of it but still unable to look Shayne in the eye for more than a split second at a time. "I'm exhausted. But keyed up. So I'm probably not going to be able to sleep yet so," he pauses again, distracted as Shayne's fingers card through his hair. Though, that's probably just an excuse. "When you're sitting back against the headboard of a bed, reading or what the fuck ever it is that you do," he says as if he's not the most informed person on what the fuck Shayne does at all times, "I want to put my head in your lap. And. Your dick in my mouth. And. Suck your dick but like slow? I'm explaining this really badly, dude."

"Baby, that's called cockwarming, and we can definitely do that," Shayne says with a grin, his eyes practically sparkling as he looks up at Damien.

"Oh, he knows the word for it," Damien teases, happy to be back in the sphere where he and Shayne tease each other. He wants the sex, and he even wants the romance if Shayne wants it too, but he doesn't want either if their friendship would be the collateral. Shayne smiles back, kissing Damien's cheek as he pulls himself to sit back against the headboard as referenced. He leans over to grab the book he had left on Damien's bedside table last time he was in here. That probably should have been something of an indicator shouldn't it be? When was the last time a friend who isn't Shayne was in his room, let alone leaving their belongings in it? He knows that if he looked around, he'd only be able to find more of Shayne's belongings, certain things he owns that neither he nor Shayne are sure of the origin of anymore, and all of that is far too overwhelming to think too much about right at this moment, sleepy and finally getting something he's wanted a long, long time.

"Ian was into researching BDSM for a while, I got caught in the infodump," Shayne clarifies a few beats late, casual. Damien squints up at him.

"Never say Ian's name when I'm about to suck your dick ever again," he says, wrinkling his nose for dramatic effect. It doesn't occur to him that he's just assumed this is going to become part of their relationship, not a one time affair, until after it's already come out of his mouth. He doesn't even have time to start spilling apologies in a deluge, conscious of being presumptuous, because Shayne just raises an eyebrow at him, hands holding and stroking Damien's face between them. The affectionate attention makes it easier to relax, Damien's blinks coming slower, his somewhat elevated heartbeat coming back down from the high. Shayne gives a breathless little chuckle, adorable, and Damien can't help the open adoration he looks up at him with.

"You just said his name when you're about to suck my dick, so really, equal offense," he says, rubbing his thumb over Damien's bottom lip. It presses just a bit and Damien drops his mouth open, allowing the digit to rest on his tongue. It's not what Damien wants, but it still feels far too soon when Shayne pulls it out.

"Shayne." It comes out as a whine, Damien's patience running thin when all he wants it right in front of him and he just... needs Shayne to tell him to actually do it. For some reason. Consent maybe? He's already expressed being okay with this, but it still feels like Damien should wait. Shayne smiles down at him, his expression soft as he runs his fingers through Damien's hair. He guides Damien forward and down, gentle as he controls the pace at which Damien takes him down his throat. That is what he wanted. Everything's already gaining a fuzzy softness, all of his senses tuning down to this one sensation, this one thing. One of Shayne's hands stays resting heavy at the nape of his neck, the other moved to genuinely read his fucking book. He doesn't think this is weird. He doesn't think Damien is weird for wanting this. He's just reading his book. He lets go of a tension he didn't realize he was keeping, his shoulders dropping and a slow breath blown out through his nose. Shayne's nails are dull scratching through the hair beneath them.

"Good, Dames. You're so pretty like this. All sweet and relaxed. So good for me," Shayne murmurs. Damien closes his eyes, swallowing around Shayne's cock reflexively. Shayne's fingers flex in his hair. There's a sweet little gray space that Damien wasn't aware existed in his mind; it envelopes him now, warm and calm, the world only lit by the lamp at his bedside and the world itself small, centered in his best friend's lap. Everything is smaller like this. Calmer. His eyes slide shut. Damien couldn't even hazard a guess as to how long they stay like that, how long he lays between Shayne's knees rapturous, at peace. Shayne's always been his safe place to land. This feels so much like an extension of that idea that he isn't sure what they had been doing in the first place.

Shayne starts reading to him somewhere in the middle of the book, at no specific marker in the story or in the passage of time that Damien can puzzle out. He doesn't want to attribute it to the fact that Damien had been getting somewhat restless, hands bracing Shayne's lower back and nails digging into his skin every once in a while. The sounds of his voice is soothing; it's some old Russian classic, maybe, Tolstoy or Dostoevsky or maybe Chekhov. He's seen the book probably a hundred times, but past registering that it was Shayne's, he hasn't really looked at it much. For this, he's glad that he never picked the book up. The characters' stories mean absolutely nothing to him because he doesn't know who Kostya and Kitty even are, let alone what they're doing, so his thoughts aren't getting snagged on trying to follow the story.

It's just Shayne. He's getting sleepy again, but he doesn't want to go to sleep without making Shayne cum. It's not even the theoretical idea of reciprocation. He knows without discussion that Shayne wouldn't hold it against Damien if he wanted to go to sleep right now. He just wants Shayne's cum in his mouth, really. He swallows around the cock in his mouth, bobbing his head just once before waiting for Shayne's response. Shayne hums, fingers flexing in his hair again before he removes his hand entirely. When Damien opens his eyes to look up at him, Shayne is putting a bookmark in his book, setting it back on the bedside table before returning his gaze to Damien, his hand following quickly to cup Damien's jaw. Damien leans into it but doesn't pull off. Shayne hums again.

"Getting sleepy again?" he asks softly, thumb stroking over Damien's cheekbone. It's barely even a question, really, so Damien just swallows around his dick as a response, figuring it will communicate enough of a message to get his point across. To Shayne, at least. Anybody else and Damien would never have gotten here in the first place, but especially he wouldn't have gotten here in so few words. "You wanna get me off before going to sleep, huh?" his companion asks, this one even less of a question than the one before, but Damien hums in agreement anyway. Shayne chuckles, not something that Damien can actually physically feel, but still enough to make his heart flutter in his chest. The weight of approval is heavy on his shoulders, comforting. Weighted blanket. Shayne strokes his fingers through Damien's hair. "Go ahead, baby."

It's the third time that Shayne has called him that. He's surprised by how much he likes it.

He clears his mind by coming most of the way off of Shayne's dick, playing with the head with his tongue in slow, broad strokes. Shayne groans, his head listing back against the wall above the headboard. Damien digs his tongue into his slit and drops down, taking Shayne all the way down to the root in one fluid movement. Shayne's fingers are laced in his hair again, loose fist just barely pulling. Damien hums, reaching a hand up to press on the one on his head. Shayne grips his hair tighter, pulling tentatively and then much more confidently as it brings embarrassing noises from Damien's throat. The weight of Shayne in his mouth is only made better when Shayne's hips twitch up, just a little bit of pressure on Damien's head keeping him in place as Shayne hits the back of his throat. The sensation makes him choke a little, but it's fucking hot too, Shayne losing that little bit of control to the heat of Damien's mouth enough to have him whining and moaning, desperate to please. Fuck.

"You're so fucking good for me. Gonna make me cum, Dames," Shayne breathes out, a warning that only makes Damien redouble his efforts. Shayne grabs the back of his head, holding Damien in place as he thrusts up into Damien's mouth once, twice, three times before he's shooting hot down Damien's throat. Damien groans and holds Shayne and his cum in his mouth for a second, not wanting to give up the feeling yet. Shayne's fingers stroke through his hair, gentle again, and he did not need to know that this is a way Shayne can be in bed. Certainly not on their first time. This hot and cold of gentle and rough is making him actually dizzy now, not even hyperbolically dizzy but dizzy, in the best way possible.  Once he's sufficiently calmed, he swallows down the cum, pulling off of Shayne's dick. Shayne pulls him up and kisses him on the mouth before the taste is off Damien's tongue, pulling him in to taste it for himself.

"Thank you," Damien says as he pulls away from the kiss, not exactly sure what he's thanking him for but grateful all the same. His nose is pressed against Shayne's collarbone, knees on either side of the other man's hips. Shayne pulls him even closer, dropping kisses across Damien's shoulder chastely.

"You did so good, Dames. Love you. Love you so much," Shayne repeats before gentle kisses, his words so comfortable that it doesn't even reek of confidence, but rather a sense of being at ease. He wouldn't be able to count how many times he's heard those words come out of Shayne's mouth, and this time is no different than all the rest, really. Maybe they're doing different things now, loving each other another way, but the love he feels for Shayne? That's been star bright and distracting in the corner of his version for nearly his entire adult life. That's his best friend. Everything else is window dressing.

"Love you," he whispers, lips brushing against the skin of Shayne's throat. Shayne presses another kiss to his skin before leaning over to grab a wet wipe from Damien's bedside table; of course he knows where Damien keeps his fucking wet wipes. Have a chronic nosebleed thing and suddenly a guy knows where you keep the stuff you use to clean up blood. Now, there's an air of reverence to Shayne as he wipes away the cum on Damien's stomach, on his own hip, and when he catches Damien looking at him during his perfunctory sweep over Damien's cock, he grins, closing his hand around Damien loosely. He chuckles when Damien lists against his collarbone, a whimper small but detectable coming from the back of his throat. He finishes wiping both of them off and throws the wet wipe into the trash. Damien catches his mouth in a quick kiss. Well, it was intended to be quick, but Shayne is as thorough in this as he is in everything else. Damien can't help grinning as he peppers kissing on Shayne's face, giggles pouring out of both of them. Shayne slips a hand in his hair and holds Damien still, just looking at him.

"I love you," he says again, kissing Damien just once before pulling back again. "Food or sleep, baby? If you just wanna take a nap, I can set an alarm," Shayne offers, shrugging his shoulders. Damien hums, leaning forward to kiss him, kiss him, kiss him again and again. The taste of Shayne's smile beneath his tongue is the sweetest thing to ever cross Damien's lips. Besotted doesn't even begin to cover it. He feels like he's floating. He feels the most settled he's ever been.

"Snacks and blankets in the living room? A movie, maybe?" Damien suggests, resting his temple against Shayne's as they breathe one another's air. Shayne hums in the affirmative, another kiss gentle on Damien's mouth.

"Anything you want, Dames. Anything you want."

#mine #shaymien #shayne #damien #rpf #prompt filled #spreadsheet fill #smosh fic #hope you like it !! #thank u for prompting me <33333 #ask answered #anonymous

[sappynapper]

If they made you cry x cc!dwt + gnf (separately)

hurt/comfort hcs on how they would react to accidentally making you cry

cws: yelling, making fun of insecurities, crying

Dream:

Listen, we all know he’s a sweetheart and a softie really

that doesn’t mean he hasn’t got a temper sometimes, especially when he’s stressed and pissed off about some twitter bullshit with fake screenshots that he has to address again

you can tell he’s getting worked up, which never ends well, so you try telling him to just get offline, to stop replying to the tweets, and do something else for a bit, take his mind off it all and calm down

but he’s angry and frustrated so he snaps, practically snarling at you

“god just stop that! you should be fucking supporting me in this not telling me to ignore it”

you know he’s not angry at you he’s just upset

it still startles you though, a lot

he almost never raises his voice at you like that, and him being such a big guy, when he does shout it’s loud and intimidating

plus the accusation of not supporting him hits just a bit too close to home

he specifically told you that he doesn’t want you stepping into the crossfire by getting involved in all the online discourse

but that doesn’t stop you feeling guilty for not being able to defend him. for not being able to really help

and before you know it your eyes have filled with tears and you’re trying to hold back sniffles so Dream won’t notice

he does of course though

bc he’s distracted it takes him a few seconds to realise what’s happening

but when he does his heart drops

and he is terrified, brain immediately going into ‘omg i’m a horrible person, i’ve ruined everything and they’re gonna leave me for yelling at them oh fuck’ mode

everything else is immediately forgotten as his head floods with panic bc to him, making you cry?? unforgivable. if anyone else made you cry he’d want to kill them but this is his fault and he doesn’t know what to do. he just has to make it better

“oh, y/n, i’m so sorry, i-“

he steps towards you, wanting to pull you into his arms and apologise with hugs and kisses but he’s not sure if he’s allowed to touch you right now and you’ve curled in on yourself with your arms wrapped across your chest

you tell him “it’s fine! it’s fine!”, and start apologising for crying when you were trying to comfort him, feeing silly, but he stops you

“is it ok if i touch you, baby?”

you give a little nod and he envelops you immediately, pulling your head into his chest and rubbing a hand up and down your back, comforting himself as much as you

he’s so relieved when you melt into him. that you’re not angry

he starts rambling mumbled apologies and reassurances into your hair between kisses

“i’m so so sorry angel. i should never have yelled. i didn’t mean to snap at you i’m just stressed but it’s no excuse. you do so much for me. always make me feel better. please forgive me”

you just nod, nuzzling further into his sweatshirt and gripping at it for comfort, just relieved he’s not angry anymore

he holds you tightly, shaken by his own mistake

anxiety-fuelled visions of you walking out the door and never coming back flashing behind his eyelids as he screws them shut

“hey” you squeeze his arm, familiar with his spirals, “i’m here. everything’s fine, i promise”

he nods, more grateful for you than ever. what could he possibly have done to deserve you in his life?

he spends days afterwards doing little things to make it up to you, even though you’ve said it’s fine a million times

your favourite takeout for dinner, his treat ofc. all the chores taken care of before you can even think of them. that thing you’d been eyeing on etsy? in your hands by the following evening.

but like i said, to dream, making you cry is basically a cardinal sin so it’s a while before he stops feeling guilty about it

George:

he’s lowkey a meanie. we know this thanks to alyssa

he wasn’t trying to make you cry, he was just teasing, needling you about some small thing that he had no clue was actually a big insecurity of yours

you tried not to let it affect you, biting your lip to keep it from wobbling and avoiding George’s gaze

but eventually all the little jabs build up and a couple of tears slip down your face before you can stop them

George pauses for a second, then

“are you crying??”

“no. no” you hurry to wipe the tears away, embarrassed, turning your face away more

“you are, you’re crying”

he moves around you to see your face better and that’s when you crack a little

“just leave it, George, god”

oh. he kind of blanks as he realises how actually upset you are

“y/n?..”

“stop. just stop. i don’t want to hear anymore. i get it ok?” you tell him, tearily, hurrying to your shared bedroom and shutting the door behind you, leaving George alone to realise that his light teasing had not in fact been that at all

he’s genuinely so shocked. he didn’t think he could make you cry?? like surely you know he thinks you’re literally perfect and that he could never actually mean any of the dumb jokes he makes??? right????

that’s what he plans to tell you a little later when he’s given you some time and recovered from the surprise himself. taking a deep breath before entering your bedroom

he opens the door carefully, even knocking slightly on the frame

“y/n? can i come in?”

he looks around for you, eventually spotting a you-shaped lump under the blanket on the bed

he sighs and shuts the door behind him, despite your lack of response, crossing the room and perching tentatively on the edge of the bed

hesitantly, he reaches out to you and places a hand on your blanket covered shoulder

you don’t say anything but you also don’t immediately shove him away so that’s good, George thinks

“y/n? i- i’m really sorry,” he starts, speaking softly, feeling shame burning in his throat, “i was honestly just joking around but it.. it was a bad joke, it wasn’t funny”

he pauses, trying to gauge any reaction from you but getting none

his hand runs absently up and down your arm over the covers as he thinks about his next words

“i.. hope you know that i don’t actually think any of that stuff about you. i think you’re wonderful and beautiful and the best thing in my life” tears are welling in his own eyes now but he takes a deep breath and keeps it together

you shuffle slightly under the blanket

“i had no idea what i was saying would upset you or i would never have said it and i… i’m just sorry. i’m really sorry”

that’s when you finally poke your head out to look at him

your hair is slightly mussed and your eyes are pink and puffy from crying, face shiny with tears

it breaks George’s heart. like he actually feels a twinge of pain in his chest knowing he’s the reason you look like that

“ok” you say in a small voice, “i’m just overreacting anyway-“

“no!” George reaches towards you but he doesn’t know what to do with his hands

you pull an arm out of the blanket and hold his hand, he squeezes it tightly

“you’re not overreacting. i- i was a dick and i’m so so sorry i made you cry” he does actually get choked up at this point and your eyes widen

you sit up quickly, blanket falling to your lap as you grab George in a hug

he pulls you even closer, hands gripping at your sweatshirt, neither of you sure who’s comforting who anymore

“it’s ok!” you exclaim, “please don’t cry, George. i promise i’m just being, like, emotional”

you laugh at yourself and it sounds like angel song to George

you pull away to look at him

“thank you for saying all that. it- well, i feel better”

“i love you.” he murmurs, “don’t let things i say make you upset. i’m an idiot”

“i love you too,” you reply, “my idiot” you add, teasingly

George grins sheepishly, then tackles you to the bed, covering your face in kisses as you shriek with laughter

and George knows he only ever wants to make you happy for as long as you’ll let him

#mcyt x reader #dream x reader #dreamwastaken x reader #georgenotfound x reader #gnf x reader #angst to fluff #hurt comfort #dream fluff #dream drabble #dream blurb #mcyt hcs #this is the oldest draft i have let’s goooo

[stupid-starkid-headcannons]

trans starship anon here im going into specifics

bug: nonbinary but masc presenting. they/he technically but he truly doesn't care, gender doesn't exist on bug world in the same it does to humans. also aroace(spectrum) (buguary qpr realness) and bi

february: straight trans girl!! buguary is also t4t suprise! i think her parents were really supportive growing up, and shes just unapologetically feminine i love her for it

taz: kind of nonbinary kind of gender fluid she doesnt care whats in her pants? a knife. also butch lesbian because i love her. i dont think they've ever been in a relationship really (shes a 16 year old leutenant i dont think shes had that much free time) but if they were to be it would NAWT be a man

up: genders a bit wobbly but mostly masculine. he/him but doesnt really care about pronouns, i think pre-injury he was pretty hegenomic - and also very unconfident in his masculinity. but after his recovery, and after his talk with bug, hes kinda found himself out! Technically cis but literally who cares. also i think hes gay

specs: transfem nonbinary i have never seen a cisgender computer programmer/j. any pronouns but primarily they/she. i think growing up they always had really long hair so people kept mistaking them for a girl and eventually she just stopped correcting people lmaoo. also silly hc: specs was a nickname given as a kid because of their glasses that just kinda stuck. also aroace. maybe lesbian.

krayonder: trans man for sure, he/him. kind of an unrelated headcanon but i think he wears alot of stupid fucking graphic tees (alpha wolf howling at the moon, galaxy space pizza cat etc) and cargo shorts and its horrifying for everyone involved. also bisexual (damn son you get no bitches for real)

tootsie: trans man, he/him but honestly he doesnt give a shit hes just here for a good time. to me, farm planet is actually really accepting gender wise it was pretty chill ! doesnt really label his sexuality at all but i do think hes been attracted to men in the past

mega-girl: technically sexless but uses she/her, im not sure if that counts as being trans but shes gender enough so it counts. surprise tootsie&megagirl are ALSO t4t(ish) get hit with my beam. i think genders a little weird for her because while she "is not a woman" (her words) she is a megaGIRL unit so. im not sure if that means shes programmed with gender or not, either way she is comfortable with she/her pronouns so Shrugs. also sexuality wise she doesnt really label but Technically pan

junior: honestly, token cis man. im sorry hes awful /LH I LOVE HIM. tbh i think he would have to take ALOT of introspection and alot of therapy to even BEGIN to be thinking about his gender. embodiment of that "i might be nonbinary but i have a job so idc about that rn" tweet. he/him but with a bit of self care he/xe 😈 hes also gay but he has a job so he dc about that rn

im normal about starship. theyre also all autistic

yes yes to all of it

#bug starship #february starship #taz starship #up starship #specs starship #krayonder starship #tootsie starship #mega-girl starship #junior starship #starship #team starkid

[04ira]

invisible string h.rj

how life is with bff Renjun :’)

warnings: none. fluff w/ a little bit of angst

note: not proof read bare w me 😔☝🏻

Renjun have been your friend for 15 years. Both of you grew up together, basically spent half of your life with him. You were used to people assuming that you guys are dating, and both of you usually doesn’t care.

Even your and his friends ships the both of you, sometimes even questions if you guys are really just friends. Because who the hell cancels a blind date just to go grocery shopping with his bestfriend?? who the hell leaves on a clubbing night with his friends because you were craving mcdonalds????

Renjun Huang. Renjun Huang would do that. He was always one call away. He’s always ready to drop everything when it comes to you, and sometimes you wonder “why is he like this?” but you know…. maybe it was an act of kindness..? since you’re his bestfriend for 15 years. You can’t be falling for this can you??

9:35 AM

Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard someone open your bedroom door.

It was Renjun.

“You’re awake. Let’s eat, i cooked breakfast”

He always do this too. It’s like you get a bestfriend premium package. Renjun goes to your dorm every weekends to apparently spend time with his 15 years bestfriend. This only happened recently though. Since his university was far from yours, he came up with this idea to hang out every weekend to stay connected and relevant to each other.

“Will you stop typing on your phone and actually eat and talk to me?” Renjun said while looking at you annoyed because he was blabbering already about his week only to realize you weren’t listening.

“Sorry, i was talking to my friends.” You reasoned, but you were actually tweeting in your private account freaking out because you were still not used to this set up.

“You’re talking to your friends while your bestfriend HERE for 15 YEARS is staring at you because you were supposed to spend time with him and not let him watch you talk to others.”

Rj said completely annoyed. You laughed at his half annoyed half sulking face. You said you’re sorry and actually talked to him happily.

10:28 AM

Both of you finished breakfast and went to watch a movie in your living room. At first, you guys argued about what genre of the movie will be. You wanted to watch a horror movie but he said it was too early for that and suggested watching romance movie instead.

You ended up agreeing with him and both decided to watch Titanic. You guys were halfway through the movie and this isn’t the first time both of you watched this movie. But you hated him and yourself for choosing this movie

because now you��re actually fucking crying at 11:30 AM. Seriously? WHY would you be crying at 11 freaking am??

You’re sitting in the couch laying your head in Renjun’s chest sobbing and crying your heart out while munching your popcorn while Renjun was laughing at your crying face. This isn’t the first time he sees you crying, he just finds it amusing that you really do cry because of a movie.

01:18 PM

You were sound asleep in Renjun’s chest. Tired from all the crying and you were comfortable leaning on his chest. He only stared at you, wiping the dried tears on your face and sometimes giggles everytime he remembers your crying face. He lets you sleep on his chest and slept on his own.

03:10 PM

You woke up without Renjun beside you. You checked your phone notifications and saw his message that said he was buying ingredients for dinner and that he couldn’t wake you up because you were sleeping peacefully. You smiled at his thoughtfulness. You’d be lying if you say that you don’t think about if you guys were something else. But you already accepted that you guys were only bestfriends long time ago.

You liked him back in 7th grade until 9th grade. You only acted as his friend though. You didn’t try sending signals and making a move, you knew he didn’t look at you and think of you that way. He would tell you about girls he like and his type, you would do the same but the difference is you actually talk about him. He just doesn’t know.

7th grade.

It’s monday. You were seating next to the window in your classroom, watching sport players training in the field while listening to music playing in your airpods. You felt someone seat next to you, but didn’t bother looking because you already knew it was Renjun. He would always do this during class break and annoy you, but this time, he didn’t do anything but actually just sat next to you while reading a book you recommended him a week ago.

You looked at him, he suddenly looked different…? Him actually focused in reading a book and his hair styled differently than usual…made you think he looked different..

of course, he looked different. He changed his hairstyle to the hairstyle you also recommended to him a week ago saying that it would look good in him. You weren’t aware that him changing his hairstyle would also make your feelings for him change.

8th grade.

Today was nothing different from your other school days. You went to class, studied future lessons in the library after and now you’re going home. Went to the convenience store first to buy ice cream and eat it while walking home.

You were walking home when you walk past your village’s park. You saw a figure that looked familiar with another figure that also looked familiar.

It was Renjun. With your class muse…?

They were talking. Renjun was saying something while she was only smiling at him and listening. Renjun pulled her into a hug.

And she hugs him back. She was the girl Renjun was talking about days ago. She’s pretty, smart, sporty, and kind. Totally his type.

Did he confess? Did she say yes?

The ice cream you were eating melts as your heart also breaks. Salty tears were about to fall so you walked fast while trying to stop yourself from crying. So many thoughts was running into your mind. “Why am i crying? why does it hurt? I’m only his bestfriend.”

“What am i gonna say when he tells me about this?”

You finally got up to your room, went straight to your bed to cry your heart out. You already put your phone on dnd to avoid receiving calls and messages from him. And to also distance yourself from everyone. You would just make up an excuse tomorrow why you weren’t able to answer his calls and messages.

9th grade.

It was thursday. You were eating with your other friends at your school watching the sport players train in the field. They were blabbering about their crushes when they asked you “What about you? Are you interested in someone?” Your friend asked smiling.

You smiled back, bittersweet smile. “No, i’m not interested on someone right now.” Your other friend suddenly giggled. “Are you sure? because the first time i saw you, you were with a guy! A little too close with him to only just be friends.” She was a transferee. She didn’t know much about my friendship with Renjun.

You and your friend also laughed.

“That was her childhood bestfriend, dummy!” Your friend butted in. You watched her mouth form an 0 shape and smiled apologetically.

You smiled back. You were used to people mistaking your relationship with Renjun.

But it’s true. You guys were a little too close to each other especially now that he has a girlfriend. And so you’ve decided to avoid him. It’s been 2 weeks actually, going 3 weeks. You haven’t talked to him, not even a single word.

You weren’t replying to his messages, he was restricted from all of your social media accounts and you also avoid bumping into him at school. Though, he tries to talk to you at school but during lunch break he would always be with his girlfriend or his bball team after class.

But today you saw him walking from the other side of the field. Your friends were talking to each other and you were staring at him, it was lunch break. He’s with his girlfriend. Of course.

He saw you. He waved. You also waved back.

Maybe it was time to stop avoiding him and let him go. You thought that it was immature to just throw your friendship with him just like that. Though, you really needed that space.

That day was the day when you accepted that he was only your bestfriend. Only ever will be your bestfriend. Maybe he’s your soulmate. Platonic soulmate. A soulmate doesn’t have to be a romantic partner.

03:49 PM

You smiled at the bittersweet memories as you heard the door open revealing Renjun carrying what he bought at the market. You sat up and walked towards him to help him. He says thank you as you helped him organize the foods he bought.

You went to your room and took a shower while Renjun was in the living room playing PUBG with Haechan and Chenle. You heard their arguments and playful remarks while playing.

04:45 PM

You finished showering and doing your skincare. You cleaned your room and when you went out of your room, you saw Renjun preparing the ingredients in the kitchen to start cooking. You went up to him and asks how can you help.

Both of you did your parts in preparing dinner.

06:35 PM

Both of you just finished preparing for dinner and were just waiting for the rice to cook. While waiting, he opens up the photo album from your bookshelf. It was the photo album of the both of you ever since you guys were kids.

Reminiscing memories with him. “I still remember this. This was the day when you cried because i didn’t want to play princess tea party with you.” Renjun said staring at the picture of you crying while he was standing cluelessly. You were 9 years old and he was 10 years old in this picture.

07:20 PM

You were eating dinner with him. Both of you talked about how university life was treating the both of you. How you both wants to go back to your province and spend time with family.

He smiles listening to you talk about how you miss going to you guys’ spot in the province, you stopped talking as he wiped the side of your lip. “There was a stain.”

Both of you finished eating, as you offered to wash the dishes since he has been doing all the chores since earlier. He agreed.

You thought he went to the living room while you were washing the dishes but he’s actually watching you from behind. When he suddenly comes up behind you and hugs you from behind.

“I really missed you. Wish i could stay here all the time.” You laughed.

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m trying to be sweet what.” He said sounding offended as you literally made him feel like you’re rejecting his affection for you.

You’re used to this. His love language was physical touch. You don’t think differently of his actions anymore.

10:45 PM

You’re seating in the couch with Renjun beside you as you watch him play PUBG on his Ipad.

You yawned as you were already sleepy. Renjun heard and also noticed that your eyes were almost closing.

“You’re such a sleepy head.”

“You’re still not used to it? You have to.” You defended as he only laughed at your defense.

You told him that you’re gonna go to your room and sleep already since you can’t wait for him to finish his game. He said okay and kissed your forehead and went back to play his game.

You went to your room and slept. You smiled as you wish nothing of this would change. You don’t wish for anything else and you’re contented with what you have with him. He is indeed your soulmate. :)

#kpop #kpop imagines #kpop au #au #alternate universe #nct dream #nct dream drabbles #kpop drabble #nct dream imagines #huang renjun #huangrj nct #nct imagines #nct drabble #renjun imagines #renjun drabble #short au #haechan nct #chenle nct #huang rj x reader #renjun x reader #bff!renjun #filo au #04ira

[chewwypepsicola]

can i ask for any color gang + purple specific headcanons? ALSO what did u think of episode 30 :)

RAAAHHH i love sharing hcs okay here we go, ill limit myself to 6 per character so this doesnt get overwhelming or boring heheheh

General stuff, oldest to youngest i see them like this: green, purple, blue, yellow, red, second. i HC that stickfiguresfighting.dotcom is actually a job they all had and that was the way they met (before second), Yellow wanted independence, Green overall just needed to start making money, Red wanted to really fight other people and he dragged Blue along Following up, Blue and Red are siblings, Blue being the oldest and often looking after Red when they were small.

WITH THAT OUT OFTHE WAY.

GREEN: - AUTISM - Oldest of the group but actually a middle child in a very loud household, he loves his family but he's very likely to have wished for a more comfortable space so thats why he moved out rather quickly and got that job - Noise cancelling earphones yesyes - genderfluid any prns pansexual icon - He HATES PDA (public displays of affection) this is a running joke i have that has developed into a proper HC haha, he always makes faces and gagging noises when YellowBlue are being gay in his general field of vision -Following up, despite hating PDA, he's super super affectionate in private when in a relationship, when in public or out of the confiness of his room he's more subtle like knees bumping against eachother under the table or soft looks across a room, THIS IS OF COURSE ALL IN REALTION TO PURPLE, SORRY, I AM A GREENPURPLE ENJOYER.

PURPLE: - My baby my baby youre my baby say it to meeee, thats not HC thats just my honest to go reaction to anything purple avm - Boy might be dog shit at fighting but he's so good at everything else i swear to god, he's super flexible and has a great amount of body strenght since we see him doing all sorts of stunt and gymnatics plus we see him being reasonably good at parkour, which in turn i have decided to take as "oh okay so he kicks ass at parkour he's the best and no one would ever be able to beat him noted." - I think he's decent at cooking but terrible at baking. Not even minecraft cakes come out right when he makes them. - They/he transmasc ourple sorry woa who said that?!?! (also mlm)

BLUE: - ELDEST DAUGHTER SYNDROME woa who said that?!?! what! - These are just canon but stoner epic skater girlfriend material she's so cool and epic - she/him bigender lesbian WOAH! - Alright you got me i'll elaborate on the eldest daughter stuff. SO BASICALLY. in my mind palace since i have decided that he and red are siblings Blue ends up being the oldest of the two, they have a singular parent so this makes Blue go thru the epic /s experience of having to take care of his little brother and their parent, giving up on childhood and dealing w responsabilities she shouldn't have. You might ask where the fuck did this come from and ill reply I HAVE NO CLUE THEY WRITE THEMSELVES OKAY!? - Blue is doing better now if you wanna know how fucked up that syndrome is just google it real quick you will be hit with the force of three trucks, shes an epic stoner gamer girl that likes to now play pranks on his little brother and be a menace. he's still a caretaker at heart and thats why he mostly tasks herself with doing most of the cooking. - THIS ONE IS BASICALLY STOLEN FROM THAT OTHER TUMBLR USER BUT UHH chronic pains after the lava incident yes brilliant send tweet

YELLOW: - Youngest child in a normal nuclear family, has an oldest sibling, relationships w family are not terrible but he always wished he would get more attention and always felt left aside when he tried to talk about his passions and interests - this guy is autism for sure! - he/him transmasc lesbian sorrey bleh - insomniac i share this hc w everyone else in the fandom this guy is just crasy insane and needs blue to remind him to take his sleeping pills and go to bed - after the LAVA incident and blue struggling to walk down the stairs of their house i think everyone agreed to rearrange the rooms and let blue have the bottom one, those two since they are a couple decided to just share a room and yellow made his old room a sort of study or overall "work" room so that he would not bother blue at night

RED: - ADHD (EXPLOSION GIF) - not a single thought behind those eyes but somehow still so smart and just as capable as everyone else OUGH - fisically strongest, not saying he's the best at combat he simply can pack the hardest punch but he might not be doing it the right way and thus hurting himself in the process - SPEAKING OF, ISNT IT FUCKED UP HOW FAR HE PUSHES HIMSELF?! now that we bring up 30 and everything that came before it i just could Not help but notice the way red passed out like three times during that whole battle, that boy had multiple broken bones and was running on pure adrenaline fighting w his own body to not give up, despite being the one more battered and bruised he kept standing back up and throwing himself right in the line of fire he makes me so sad OUGH -he/him transman realness mlm PHEW - i think that second and he passed out on the couch they moment they all realize they were out of danger you could not wake up those two up for a week they needed the rest SECOND: -trying my best to not run out of ideas here cause i know i have many hcs relating to them but also ive already wrote down a phew a while ago let me think uhhh - youngest. baby of the group, but for some fucked up reason he has decided to take on the "im the more responsible one here i need to look after all of you" role like a DUMMY - it makes very sad to think of him worrying himself so much w the safety of the others cause he has seen first hand that they are way more fragile than him, he doesnt know WHY he endured so many of Dark's attacks in ShowDown but he knows he did and he remembers vividly seeing his friends fight for their lives right in front of his eyes, of course he is going to be burdened with that weight. - Second has terrible separation anxiety that's not even a HC thats basically canon he can not be at ease until everyone is together and he is reasssured that they are okay OUGH (sounds of crying) - Little guy has awful nightterrors that leave him just sitting at the edge of his bed staring off at nothing until he falls asleep again, Green caught him one night and was like "hey you good why are you sleeping sitting like that?" and Second had to explain and Green offered to sleep w him so he would be more comfortable, Second now tends to ask green or red to keep him company when it happens smiles

OKAY THATS ALL!!! as usual i shall share a doodle, please forgive any grammar and spelling mistakes english isnt my first language we are doing the best we can over here hahah, here's the doodle! with my family headcanons for the colors and an extra "family photo" for the hollowheads haha

#THANK YOU WHOEVER READ TILL THE END WAAAAAA #love these guys they run around my head like little hamsters #ene answers #avm #animation vs minecraft #avm purple #avm green #avm red #avm blue #avm yellow #avm the second coming #PHEW #ene does art #while we are at it

[blingblingbubbles]

i have been thinking about Jonghyun a lot lately, i think in the beginning of this month i saw a tweet from a baby shawol talking about how they wished they had been there earlier to witness their entire journey or more parts of their journey and honestly my first thought was "i wouldn't wish it upon a person to get through what shawols who were already there back then went through" but honestly i still wouldn't want it to be different for myself. like i am glad i got to cherish him and his music while he was still alive. he is so much more than his death. and we are saying this so often but i also get that some people might forget that bc they only found shinee after the fifth spotlight became empty. he deserves to be celebrated every single day for his music, for his character, for how well spoken he was, for how vocal he was about things, for how talented he was, for how he made a little revolution in SM with him producing his own work, for how he was able to comfort all of us.

but it also made me think about me six years ago. i turned 19 a few days after he died and now i am turning 25 in a few days. back then i did not really struggle with my mental health. so while i understood that he was suffering, it was really abstract for me in a way. until i started to struggle with my own mental health just a few years down the line and while jonghyun was always a comfort for me through the tough times, i actually started to rely on his music even more than before. to this "only one you need" is my alarm bc it's easier to get out of bed. and "end of day" is the song i end my hard days with.

you know when i was about to 19, 27 seemed so far away and tbh everyone in their mid to late twenties were like proper adults to me. i was a baby adult still figuring out the ropes. but i thought when you were in your mid to late twenties, you got it, you knew things, you got life figured out. i knew that he was so fucking young, i knew 27 was young. of course i knew. but still a 27 year old seemed so far away age wise for a 19 year old. and well now i am turning 25 and i think it only really hit me how young he was. like i am about to turn 25 and there are so many things i still ask my parents or my siblings for. so many things i still need to google which i thought i would have figured out by now. and it puts things in a very different perspective.

i don't know where i want to go with my rambling but i just needed to let that out. i still miss him so much. it sometimes still hits me that we won't get new solo work from him, that we won't get new pictures. sometimes taemin sounds really similar to him and i get so proud and so heartbroken at the same time. he should be here today. it shouldn't have ended that way. but we can't do anything but celebrate all the beautiful gifts he left behind.

#jonghyun #5hinee #just me rambling and having too many feelings

[chromotps]

h-hey so. I saw your tweet? from such a long time ago (eh no I think it was october) that was about cora/law and something something basically law being soooo much into cora and sick of waiting in general (can I also mention here. the 1975 - fallingforyou and especially the /you said some day we might, when i’m closer to your height/ line) so uhhhhh what about. a cora lives AU when they reunite once law becomes a warlord (also don’t tell me the 100 hearts weren’t meant for cora) and cora has been somehow found and brought back to life by the marines??? but kept hidden from public information for as long as doflamingo was running loose and rampant. but after dressrosa it’s no longer important and anyway they meet again and it’s all. reserved and polite and cora is just happy to see law all grown up and how much influence and power he has etc etc meanwhile law. keeps inviting him to the most high-end/expensive restaurants. buys him the most expensive wine. gets him heart-themed jewelry. the finest silk shirts/scarves. some rare types of tobacco. basically like a reverse sugar daddy thing except it’s law who absolutely spoils cora except cora doesn’t really have any idea what to do with it? bc law just says it’s bc cora took care of him all these years ago and now law wants to reciprocate. except he’s. way too invested in this/there’s something else in his eyes when he looks at cora, instead of just gratitude. IDK IM JUST. they’re such a weird ship to me bc i can’t stomach it at all in any other form than Cora lives AU and they meet as adults + the age diff/dynamic remains kinds the same (master/protegee? sorta) + law is just so fucking into him it’s unreal. bc hes spent so much time thinking about Cora? growing up? much longer than he had actually known him. so he kind of became something mystical in his mind, so when he finally meets him in flesh again? law can’t really deal with whatever he’s feeling toward him except it’s a whole fucking lot. again idk even what I wanted to say through this it’s just back to that tweet - yes I also think it’s a shame there isn’t more coralaw where law is the one leading the relationship/courting cora (or. domming him. like you said) and generally being lowkey obsessed about him. thanks lmfao and bye

HJGSFGSDjgdfshj first off this ask made my day... is there anything like the internet to bring together two fans of a very niche and specific dynamic ANYWAY

GOSH I do love the idea of Law spoiling Cora, especially bc like, from what we saw Cora went from a life of luxury in his youth, to one of struggle and then eventually medium-ish comfort, and was happy to throw it all away again for Law when they went on the run. So it's like, now Law can give that all back to Cora easily and I'd even sort of read it a bit as Law subconsciously trying to show how he's not just some little kid anymore so let him sleep with you Corazon, look, you think a guy who gives you this many silk shirts doesn't know how to show you a good time

Cora getting a little overwhelmed when the gifts and meals start being sprinkled with signs of courting... like, a brush of a hand or Law bringing them somewhere secluded on a walk and carefully getting into Cora's space. Asking Cora to be his +1 to big fancy dinners and escorting him around with a hand on his back ahahaHA

Cora can't deny that Law is just like, a dream guy, but he's gonna need a little extra push to let go of that sense of propriety saying that "they really shouldn't do this"

I tried responding to some other parts of the ask but it got really long and sort of turned into me just rambling about lawcora, so... i separated it all from here 😂

GOSH the 100 hearts being for Cora... another hopelessly romantic tribute from Law, the most Extra Adult-ass Emo walking around. It's exactly like you said, that's one of my favorite things about Law around Cora--the depth of his emotion... we know Law had this deep capacity for hatred when they first met—he was just this well of resentment and anger, even as a kid. But after seeing just how far Cora would go for him, that intensity got completely redirected into love (or "low-key obsession" haha—the naming his pirate crew after Cora and modeling his coat and tattoos after him). It's especially wild considering how "reserved" Law is around others, I guess? Like, he wants everyone around him to Stop Being So Ridiculous, but I feel like with Cora he would just want more and more, to draw out bigger and bigger reactions from him and encourage Cora to screw convention and run off with him. bc in his head they're all that really matter...? he's an all-or-nothing kind of guy!! I guess

And yeeeeah on Cora's side, it's definitely a difficult ship to pin down. I'm kind of like you, really picky about how I'd want it to play out... Part of me doesn't want Cora to be completely oblivious, and I don't love when people strip out how much of a badass/tough/discerning guy he is (though I do love the klutzy, naive-ish side of him). I don't know......... I think I like how I laid it out in the tweet, where Law has always sort of harbored feelings for Cora in the form of puppy love that transformed into an all-consuming fixation. Then it's just a matter of Cora finding out about it, denying those feelings (but the reason changes from "I couldn't see Law that way!!" to "he couldn't really feel that way about me/he could find someone more 'his equal' (in age? status? what excuses are you making Cora??)" over time. And at that point, when Law knows Cora wants him just as bad but is holding back from it, he just snaps. 😂

If they really did have just one long separation, and then a sudden reunion, I like the idea of Law re-learning who Cora really is... Like, he has faded memories of Cora's bravery and goofiness and weird little habits, but he wasn't prepared to meet him again and only end up liking him MORE. He learns about what Cora went through as a kid/in Doffy's shadow, and seeing how he still stayed so kind and brave just makes Law wilder than ever about him lmao!!

#lawcora #coralaw #meta #hahahahahahahaha #look if i see a ship that's not just intensely devoted to each other but WEIRD about it #i'll probably like it #like... the fact that in canon their plan was to just say 'screw everyone else you're all that matters' and run off together #THAT was their happy ending #i love it #also i didn't get into it here but I like thinking about the specific things they grow to like about each other #Law liking Cora's deeeeep capacity to empathize with others but also his grit and competence #Cora liking Law's enduring kindness—where he knew law was so angry as a kid specifically because law must have Cared so much #and just being generally enamored with how that goodness stays in place #even when Law matures/is smarter or stronger than the people around him #which is interestingly the exact opposite of Doffy haha #GOSH this turned into a manifesto OOPS #i will stop now

[aronarchy]

[image ID: thread by butchanarchy

Maybe folks prioritize an abuser’s need to be “healed” from the abuse they inflicted because it is far more comfortable to think of an abuser as “broken” than it is to see them as someone who takes many of our society’s values about relationships and control to their logical conclusion.

I think many people’s real concern isn’t even how survivors handle abuse so much as the fact that we call actions they see as ultimately acceptable/justifiable abuse in the first place. Because even if they’re not outright abusers. many folks see control as integral to relationships.

Easier to see an abuser as the ultimate victim of circumstance that can be “fixed” from their “deviancy” rather than reckon with the fact that they don’t actually deviate that much from our dominant cultural norms and what that says about those who buy into those norms, too.

Many people believe that there is a level of control over a partner’s/child’s/friend’s/etc. autonomy that you have a right to once you have a close connection to them. People don’t want to have that belief challenged, as it is a significant player in many of their relationships.

So it’s easier to think of an abuser as a poor, broken deviant in need of fixing because they take those values “too far” rather than have to question why any of us have a right to claim ownership and control over the people in our lives.

My abuser very much knew exactly what she was doing, and told me so explicitly at more than one point. She saw her attempts to gain and maintain control as utterly justifiable. She had no illusions about her actions, she just didn’t want them labeled as abuse.

And neither did the community we both shared, and not even in denial of the specific actions I outlined when I outed her. Rather, they all saw actions of control, manipulation, sexual exploitation, as just natural and acceptable parts of relationships in general.

Deeply appreciative of this point @/ClarissaAdjoint made here a couple weeks ago. Abuse IS a learned behavior, but not learned from being abused as much as learned from being taught who is an acceptable target of control and the tactics of domination. https://twitter.com/ClarissaAdjoint/status/1559677090516967424

reply by greatplainspunk:

This is so true and why Batterer Intervention Programs are court ordered and you don’t see people voluntarily lining up at the door. Most abusers know what they’re doing and don’t want to voluntarily give up control because they know it serves them to meet their needs.

reply by salome_af:

It really fucked me up when I recently discovered my father was never a direct victim of violence, rather he witnessed his step sibs beaten. And decided that was the type of parent he wanted to be. The violence was about keeping him feeling powerful.

/end image ID]

[image ID: the nested thread by ClarissaAdjoint from the above thread

screenshot of a tweet by AbolitionBuns: “1. The core idea of TJ is to break the cycle of harm. It is understood that people only engage in abuse towards others because of prior experience of being abused. Abuse is a learned behavior. No one is born to abuse others.”

Okay look I’m screenshotting because I don’t feel like directly arguing since I don’t think it’s going to do any good

but here’s the deal: yes, no one is born to abuse yes, abuse is learned behavior

but that doesn’t imply “hurt-people hurt people” like op thinks

what I mean is that they’re operating under a false dilemma: there's more ways to learn to abuse than having it done to you

I argue that the primary way is by learning how/when you can hurt others to get what you want without consequence

learning to commit violence against your intimate partners, your children, your coworkers, your employees, to women you don’t even know, &c.

is about learning what kind of violence your society tolerates and more importantly who it tolerates that violence against

cops don’t learn to beat their wives because they were abused anymore than a karen learns to threaten black strangers because she was abused

it’s about navigating social rules of acceptable targets to get what you want

it is not just a choice it is ten thousand choices

the only real cycle of abuse is not the abused growing up to be abusers—a mere determinism by another name—but the abused growing up to think they deserve abuse, to habituate to it

again and again and again

til they’re more scar tissue than soft flesh

so, no, no one is born to abuse

and that is why they can be held accountable for their choices

/end image ID]

#repost of someone else’s content #twitter repost #butchanarchy #abuse #pathologization #ableism #saneism #antipsych #abolition #‘cycle of abuse’

[multitrackdrifting]

In light of the recent Limbus shitshow, are you still gonna finish up library of runia or are you just done with Projmoon?

Well I can't refund it so the least I can do is play it - but I don't plan on publishing my lobcorp video that's about 2-3 hours long for the time being. I probably won't resume streaming Ruina however.

It leaves a bad taste in my mouth if people would use a labour of love of mine to say "hey look there's something good here", I know there is something good there - but the CEO and his unquestionably stupid decisions makes the game impossible to talk about. I'm gonna be honest as far as boycotts go you and I probably know people who play league, overwatch or cod or something (maybe) or play something from a company with just as bad of practices that are either not as publicised or simply too far in the past for people to care.

I don't expect people to boycott nor do I think it's the bare minimum standard, people I know, especially those with larger platforms refuse to post about it even if they do play it or still keep up with it but yeah it's basically branded as a game now because of the controversy.

The thing about boycotts a lot of the time and I know this will be kind of bizarre to hear but I think they're very aesthetic in nature in that a lot of people usually clamour for them when they have less stakes in the matter so it's much easier to put pressure on others to do something they would not do for League (Riot Games), or Overwatch (Activision Blizzard).

This exact scenario has actually arisen with people talking about the game in that way and honestly it's not even like a what-aboutism kind of thing it's like, people really do not truly care about the ethics of the situation a lot of the time and many others simply do not know when they make their game-playing decisions, so it's really difficult to get mad about in most cases. That said, this game is niche enough where people probably know, but I wont assume their reasons for playing. Some people, however, are reveling in the backlash about the game bc they're not real fans or something for being upset about seemingly capitulating to reactionaries. This exchange I saw earlier honestly boggled my mind lmao - when the dog whistle is loud as fuck.

We don't have the complete facts, but unlike the nuance enjoyers on youtube & twitter that doesn't automatically mean I'm obligated to financially support a company because I obviously am concerned about the broader company and their job security.

On one hand it makes me frustrated beyond all belief that the decision makers (because lets be real falsely assigning blame to the artists, programmers, writers etc. at pmoon that aren't in a decision making role) are stupid that their art has to be undermined. Yeah, I don't doubt that there is more to the situation but if you make a tweet saying "we didn't do shit and we will sue u lol" and then announce a new banner the next day of course people are going to think you're a slimy company.

I'll put it like this anon: I might enjoy LCorp & Ruina privately at the very least, but Limbus is probably the most embarassing piece of media to be openly associated with, especially when you have people reveling in that a lot of women & lgbt+ members are going to be "filtered out" of the company by what they're reductively describing as "drama". Whether people boycott or not is up to them, but I'm waiting to see if they just brush it aside and pretend like nothing happened over time - I won't spend or post about the game, but I expect we won't actually see a genuine resolution until Canto IV ends and they realized that they didn't actually net anything from firing the artist or capitulating to an audience that will just as soon threaten their financial stability the moment they're validated for having achieved this outcome once before.

It's completely embarassing to be an open project moon fan right now, and honestly I could care less whose comfort media it is, I don't really care what they post or like - for me personally, this ordeal is so shameful that a video I worked hundreds of hours on is probably never seeing the light of day. That's about the gist of how I feel about how icky it is to even bother talking about their games. Fanart is one thing I guess, maybe I'll rb some from time to time, but honestly yeah I don't feel like making anything PMoon related pretty much until we have clear cut facts and if we never get it then yeah I'll just make peace with the reality and stop caring about Project Moon.

To answer your overall question, I probably won't bother making anything anything content wise for the game or even bother talking about it outside of DMs with my friends because yeah it's pretty much embarassing as fuck to even associated with this world. I think the art here is good, in terms of its writing & the artstyles of each of the games, I respect what is made there - but unfortunately we're the laughing stock of every other gacha community & honestly Idec about the hypocrisy of it all, I'm just astounded that they keep making it worse without ever really getting to the heart of the backlash. For LCorp & Ruina fans specifically I feel for them because it's not like they could've ever foreseen that this whole gacha endeavour would send everything up in smoke.

As for being Project Moon's strongest soldier (joking), I have less than zero interest in promoting their work until I have a decent confidence of vellmori's side (which I suspect is not even known because of either unknown factors, or a generic NDA that prevents them from commenting on their contract termination, not that unusual, especially if some kind of severance package is offered alongside it). Basically, I don't want to do any heavy lifting, even though I don't have that big of an audience, it just feels gross to bring them money when KR fans are outwardly begging other fanbases to stop playing and whether you do or not is up to you, but I'm personally just waiting till they shoot themselves in the foot enough times to completely walk away from this community/world. I do think that expecting everyone to express a deep remorse about a situation they did not create nor can they really control for the time being and self-flagellate about it is stupid though.

Hope vellmori & the pmoon staff get an equitable outcome out of all of this because as mad as I am I'm not so selfish as to think that having a dumb boss means you should have no job.

tl;dr - I don't want to openly associate with the "brand" even if the company =/= the community, it still feels weird, but that is just my own choice. I don't expect others to boycott. I'm waiting to see what happens, but judging by the reactionary replies to the latest banner it's probably nothing good in our future if Limbus survives this ordeal - since you will mostly have people who revel in the exodus of LGBT+ & women from the fandom.

#asks #long posts