#even focus on the case.’ ‘can u blame me

[lexisecretaccx]

High School Sweethearts pt.1 - Chris Sturniolo

PT2, PT3, PT4, PT5, PT6, PT7, PT8, PT9, PT10, ( rest of the parts on my Masterlist)

A/n: This is gonna be a series but PLSPLS bear with me bc I am struggling in school right now! This series reminds me of the K-12 Album tbf lol🤍🎀

(Chris sturniolo x Fem reader, skater Chris, nothing much atm, maybe a bit suggestive in a dream but not much else tbh.)

The bell rings, causing me to lift my head swiftly. I look around at the class and the other students are packing up so I copy, but just as I lean down to place my pencil case into my bag, a book slams on my desk making me jump out of my skin.

“You aren’t going anywhere y/n. Sleeping in class again?” My teacher Mr Rockwell looks down at me, his face cold and stern. “I’m sorry, I didn’t sleep well last night and..” he picks the book up off the desk, “no excuses. Good thing this is the last period because you can stay behind for detention. An hour and a half.” I sigh as he walks away before picking up a sheet of paper and placing it on my desk.

I place my face into my hands out of embarrassment, I’ve never had detention with this teacher before, I’m usually alert in his classes. “No more sleeping!” Mr Rockwell slightly yells from across the classroom and I pick up my pen before sighing and studying the page. Algebra. Math has never been my strong suit.

Mine and the teachers heads both shoot to the door as it opens with a squeak, a brunette boy walks into the room and up to the teachers desk, “You’re late again. Once more and there will be serious issues.” I hear Mr Rockwell say, before the boy replies “yeah sorry, see my brother had to..” “Excuses again! What’s the matter with the students in my class.” He mutters, leaning past the brunette to look at me.

My face flushes with embarrassment as the boy turns to look at me, he mustn’t have noticed there was anyone else in the class, I am seated right at the back to be fair. He smiles at me softly, before turning back to the teacher. I swear I recognised him, I think he was one of the triplets in our grade.

“Sit down.” Mr Rockwell mutters, handing the boy the same piece of paper he gave me. To my surprise the boy sat right next to me, probably to try copy me. “If you’re trying to copy me, you’re out of luck because I haven’t got a clue either.” I whisper and I look over to the boy, his eyes studying my face. “Do I know you?” He whispers back.

“I don’t know.. do you?” I ask in confusion because I haven’t ever spoken to him or his brothers, “yeah you’re the girl who sits at the front in science.” He chuckles and looks at the teacher at the front of the class and then back at me.I’m surprised he knows who I am, I didn’t know he was in my class.

“Oh yeah..” I laughed lightly. I look back down at my paper to try and make some sense of it, and I fail at that.

The teacher stands up and his chair squeaks against the floor, causing me and the boy to jump as we look up. “I need to go.. grab something from one of the other classrooms I’ll be 10 minutes minimum.” He spoke monotonously and walked out the class. I immediately look to the boy and he has the same confused expression on his face as I do.

“What was that about?” He looks to me for an answer, “I dont know but at least I don’t have him staring me down anymore,” I laugh, “what’s your name? Sorry I dont remember it.” I feel guilty, due to the fact that he knows who I am, I mean I know who he is but not enough to know his name, does he even know mine?

“Oh uh im Chris, and don’t stress it y/n u won’t be forgetting my name soon enough.” He smirks to me before his eyes focus on the equations in front of him. He knows my name. “What do you mean by that?” I laugh softly and he shrugs.

“Maybe you’ll remember me as the boy who stole the answers for this algae-bra shit.” He stands up whilst looking at me, “it’s Algebra, Chris, and you aren’t stealing answers, what if he comes back?”

“Chill, I’ll take the blame for it anyway.” He opens the drawer in the teachers desk and ruffles through some paper until he smiles and grabs a piece of paper, closes the drawer and walks back over to me. “You thief.” I joke with him as he sits back down and scoots his desk closer to me so we can share the paper.

We finish up with the paper and the teacher still hasn’t returned, Chris puts the paper back into his desk and we try to wait it out for the 25 minutes we have left. “Can we just leave now?” He rolls his eyes and taps his pen on the desk. “I wish but no. What if he comes back and we’re gone?” I watch him as he stops tapping his pen and leans down to his bag.

“Live a little y/n. He’s been gone for most this detention, it’s his fault if you leave early.” He packs his things into his backpack. “Plus I’ll write a note on his board and let him know we left ‘at the right time’” he does finger quotations and smirks, “fine.” I sigh.

He hops out his seat and grabs both our papers and places them on the desk, as I pack my things away. He writes on the board ‘sorry for being in detention or whatever but we did the work (it’s on ur desk) and left, love u teach xx - Chris’ “there.” He smiles proudly and I roll my eyes “you’re not funny.” I stand up.

We both sneak out the classroom and Chris leads me the way. We hear voices coming from a storage cupboard and he looks back at me before we go to move forward again but before we can start moving, the door swings open and a girl walks out, she looked about late 20s or something, she went down the hallway in the direction we were headed.

Chris turns to me and raises one of his eyebrows as if to say ‘what the fuck was she doing in there’ . About a minute later someone else stumbles out of the cupboard, my mouth drops when I realise it’s Mr Rockwell. He walks down the corridor towards his class which means he was gonna pass me and Chris. Chris pulls me behind a locker and my back is pressed right up against him.

Mr Rockwell passes us, and thankfully doesn’t see us. I let out a sigh of relief and Chris grabs my arm before we are running down the corridors and out the double doors. Chris leans against the brick wall, breathing heavily.

“I’m never doing that again.” I breath as I smile at him, “You know we will,” he smirks at me before checking his phone. “Shit I was supposed to be home like half hour ago I should go.” “But detention doesn’t end for what.. another like 10/15 minutes? Why would you need to be home before it ends?” I ask tilting my head slightly as he smiles and looks at his feet.

“Your detention doesn’t end for another 10/15 minutes, mine ended like 45 mins ago.” He looked at me, “what, why didn’t you leave when you should’ve then?” I am really confused now. “Didn’t want to leave you on your own.” He shrugged before grabbing a skateboard off of a rack. “Oh thanks.” I smile “You skate?” I try to hide my blush from his comment and bring my focus to his board.

“Uh yeah, do you?” He smiles down at me due to our height difference, “no but I tried once and I got scared.” I laugh, he laughs too before dropping his board onto the ground, “I’ll teach you sometime.” He starts to skate away, “see ya y/n!”.

I get home and throw my notebook down onto my desk, one of my pages is folded over, I hate when that happens. I turn to the page to unfold the corner and there’s writing on the page ‘know you would want this - Chris’ below that was his phone number. I smile to myself at his slightly messy handwriting and pick up my phone.

I add his number to my contacts and open up imessage. ‘How did you write that in my book without me noticing😂’ I press send. He replies with ‘gotta keep an eye on your stuff y/n😉’ we text back and forth for a bit before I go to sleep.

“You’re so pretty y/n.” I smile as he leans over me and smirks, “can I?” His hand plays with the seam on my panties. “Yes.. please.” He starts to kiss my neck, “fuck Chris…”

I sit up quickly, breathing fast. “What the fuck.” I mumble to myself before wiping my eyes and laying back down. Come on y/n you barely knew the boy before today and now you’re dreaming of him? I sigh heavily.

I’m never telling anyone about that.. ever..

A/n: omds I kinda like this.. I’m gonna try to make it a series but I won’t be able to update frequently! I love this storyline tho and I know where I’m going with this so bear with me!

Taglist: @blahbel668 @mattsleftnipple03 @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @hysteria-things @sturniologurl4l2008 @jakevwebber @braindead4l @mattybearnard

—💋——📷——‼️——💌———❤️———💌——‼️——📷——💋—

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolos #smut #chris sturniolo fanfic #matt #chris

[unbidden-yidden]

[i wanted to give u a heads up that this is about palestine & israel but i wasnt sure how to content warn so i'm just putting this here]

hey,

just so you know some of the facts your sharing about who is responsible for various bombings i dont think is correct - the only original source that ive seen that stated that the hospital was bombed by hamas / islamic jihad was the idf who obviously have a pretty strong incentive to seperate themselves from that kind of awful violence. there has been a concerted focus on attacking healthcare centres/ providers, from what i saw on the guardian website recently there have been 50 or so attacks on healthcare facilities in gaza. which is rly such an appalling figure to even begin to contemplate. if you're looking for good sources to stay up to date with the conflict [which is obviously very overwhelming & quickly developing] then i'd rly recommend jewish currents or aljazeera & vashti media tends to have some useful coverage too, altho they arent a moment to moment media platform.

Hey so I definitely appreciate you reaching out, because I do strive to get these things right. However, I literally am going off of footage taken by Al Jazeera, as well as a statement by gaza_report:

Trust me, I'm aware that the IDF has an incentive to pass blame, so I waited to say anything until I saw evidence from explicitly pro-Palestinian sources.

If, in the fullness of time, there is good evidence against it that I can verify myself (like with this footage) I will gladly issue a correction. Please do reach out again if that is the case, because I do not want to platform misinformation if at all possible.

Thanks again!

Edit: if you have multiple cross-bias sources on the other healthcare facility bombings, I would appreciate the information for further investigation.

#I do also want to reiterate that I am devastated about the loss of civilian life regardless of how it happened

[freakshowtwopointoh]

You wished they'd just listen to you, let you explain.

You'd been hanging out with Andre behind their back, yes, but you needed help setting up the perfect proposal. You'd picked out the ring months ago, keeping it tucked away in an old pair of socks waiting for the perfect day. And they'd seemed so stressed for so long, it just didn't seem like the right time.

But they'd walked in while you were on the phone with Andre and you didn't have a good excuse ready. They knew you were lying and that was proof enough for them.

"Baby, please, just let me-"

"Let you what? Come up with more excuses, find a way to blame me for you being a lying whore? I've been working my ass off, and you're fucking around."

"Jordan, please, I never-"

"Stop fucking lying! Just get out." Their face was cold and angry. You could feel tears running down your face and onto your neck. Why won't they just listen?

"Ok." You said quietly, and you pulled on your coat and left.

You wandered for hours, just hoping that Jordan would call.

You knew you couldn't go home, and Andre was the only one of your friends who lived close enough.

God dammit. This isn't going to help your case with Jordan. You texted Andre nonetheless, almost hoping he wouldn't answer. You passed a motel but it was full.

Yeah u can sleep here

door is open im already in bed

You made your way to Andre's place, feeling the gravel crunch under your sandals.

It was about four am when you collapse onto Andres couch. You fell asleep quickly, praying that everything would sort itself out in the morning.

You'd be fresh out of luck, spending the next two days moping around Andre's place and wandering the nearby area. Trying to think of what you could have done to prevent this. You just wish they hadn't assumed the worst. You'd never cheat on them, especially not with Andre.

You thought about the reservation you had for this evening, and realized with a gut twisting sensation that your biggest worries had changed drastically over the last week. You were no longer worried about if they'd say yes - you didn't think you'd even get to go on a date with them again.

You looked a mess but you didn't care. Your hair was tangled and you were wearing the same clothes you'd left the house in. Not like you're trying to impress anyone, you thought bitterly. You made your way back to Andre's house with an iced latte, and tried to focus on your work. A loud knock came from the door, and you sighed. Andre was at Cate's. He'd smoked you out that morning, listened to you cry, and promised he wouldn't try to contact Jordan. You were terrified he'd make it worse.

"Sorry, Andre's o-" it was Jordan.

"He told me I'd find you here." They pushed past you into the apartment. You just stared at them as they leaned against the kitchen counter. "Interesting choice of couch, all things considered." They looked you up and down. "You look like shit."

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, my appearance hasn't been at the top of my priorities. Why are you here?" They scoffed.

"I come to hear you out and you're giving me attitude? I'll just leave." They turn to go and you grab their arm.

"Wait, I'm sorry." You take a deep breath. "I should've practiced this, fuck." They laughed slightly at that. "I never did anything with Andre. There's nothing between us, I just needed his help." Jordan rolled their eyes.

"I came to hear you out, not hear more bullshit."

"I'm telling the truth! I needed his help because..." No use keeping it a secret anymore. "Fuck. Because I've been in love with you since day one, and I knew I wanted to spend my life with you since the first morning I woke up in your arms. But I'm me and you're amazing and we've never talked about this stuff before and I just wanted to make you feel as special as you make me feel every day for just one night. So I asked Andre to help me find a ring and set up this thing, and I-i-i didn't .... I was going to do it sooner but you seemed so stressed and I didn't want to make it worse so I needed him to hold on to some things and I'm so sorry J." They were staring at you, mouth agape. They reached into their pocket and pulled out the box.

"This is what made me come around. I couldn't come up with a reason that you'd have this..."

You felt your eyes fill but you got on your knee and took the box from their hands. Here goes.

"Jordan Li. I've been in love with you since the moment we met, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. I see all of you and I love all of you. I love the way you dance when you win at a video game, I love the way you love so fiercely. The last few days have just reminded me that I don't want to live without you in my life. I need your smile, your voice greeting me in the morning, your hand in mine. Jordan Li, will you do me the great honor of marrying me and becoming my spouse?" Tears were running down their face as they nodded.

"Of course I'll marry you." Their voice was gruff and now you're both crying as you slide the ring onto their left ring finger. "It's perfect. Now get up and kiss me before I lose my mind." And then you kiss them and it's like nothing had ever gone wrong between you. Their lips were like magic, causing time to stop and the world to become just the two of you. You never wanted to stop kissing them, but when you pulled apart for air you caught a glimpse of the time.

"Holy shit, we can still make our reservations."

"Then let's get your stinky ass in the shower!" They joked. You stuck your tongue out at them. Rude.

"Can we go home? I'm kind of tired of using Andre's toiletries."

"Of course. The puppies miss you - Bread won't stop sleeping on your laundry pile." You smiled at this, and you both went back to get all dolled up to do the proposal dinner backwards. You picked up a full Italian dinner to take to a local park.

"This is the part I was going to have Andre de-" He'd come and set it up anyways. The lights, the blanket, the whiskey, the ice, everything. "How?"

"After we left, I texted him to apologize and asked him to and I quote 'Whatever she wanted you to do before I almost fucked up the best thing that's ever happened to me'" You threw your arms around them, almost knocking them over. "I owe you an apology, love. I shouldn't have assumed the worst, and I definitely was way too harsh. I'm sorry, love, I'm so sorry. You were right, I've been so stressed. It's so easy to let my insecurities get the better of me." They shook their head, and you rested your hand on their face and held them before kissing them softly.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

You walked them to a spot on the blanket, and began serving them a plate of pasta, revealing the secret stash of olive garden breadsticks you'd made Andre buy. And you spent the night laughing, drinking, and kissing. Dessert was cannolis and the most beautiful infused pre-roll you'd been able to find.

It was almost two when you began cleaning up, mainly because you didn't want to keep your hands off of them any longer. When you finally made it through the front door, you grabbed their collar and pulled them in for a kiss, desperately grabbing at their shirt. You begin to unbutton it, begging your hands to work properly. They gently pull your hands off and spin you around to remove your dress. They suck a breath in when they see your lacy matching baby blue lingerie.

"This I picked out myself, just for you." You murmur, and they almost growl.

"Good. I don't like the idea of anyone even imagining you like this. You're mine." They drag their fingers along your side, long nails scratching your skin. They grab your hand and pull you into your bedroom.

"Get on the bed, baby. Let me see you." You shyly lay back on the bed. "My pretty girl." Later, Jordan would tie you down and leave bite marks, scratches, and hickies all over your skin. But for now, all they wanted was to make you scream their name until your voice gave out. They knelt before you.

"You ready, princess?" And without waiting for an answer, their teeth were pulling those pretty little panties off of you and their tongue was teasing your clit. "Already so wet for me. Bet you've been missing this, missing how I can make you feel."

"Yes. Fuck, you've ruined me, J, no one-" you wanted to keep dirty talking them, but they pushed two of their long, delicate fingers inside of you, curling them to reach the perfect spot as their tongue continued to work it's magic, and all you could do was moan and scream: "Jordan!" Before falling apart completely, clenching around their fingers and leaving their face covered in your cum. You were still coming down from your high when they went to grab something, but you had enough wits about you to watch as they removed their button down and unbuckled their belt. After being with them for years, it was almost pavlovian the way the sound of their belt unbuckling or their fly unzipping could turn you on. You whimpered when they revealed the strapless strap they were wearing.

"You gonna take this for me, baby? You gonna be a good girl for daddy and take my cock?"

You were sinking further and further into subspace with each word.

"Yes, daddy! I can take it."

They laid the strap on your entrance, teasing you. Then, they pushed it in all at once.

"Good. Because, I'm going to fuck you all. Night. Long." And they meant it. Sometimes they could fuck you through three or four orgasms each before finally shifting to cum one last time inside of you. Tonight, you came four times on their strap before they shifted, feeling their grip become immovable as they hold you down against the bed.

"Daddy, please!" They captured your lips in theirs before tensing up, thrusting into you and cumming deep inside your pussy. You sink your nails into their back, wanting to keep them inside you as long as possible. You felt them soften slowly inside you, and you whimpered softly when they pulled out.

"It's ok, baby, come here." You wiggle over to rest your head on their chest. "You were so good for me. Took my cock so good for so long. I missed hearing you scream my name." You felt heat rise to your cheeks as you buried your head in their chest. "My good baby girl. Go to sleep now, I've got you." And you drifted off to sleep in the arms of your fiance.

#jordan li #jordan li x reader #jordan has a daddy kink sorry #gen v #gen v prime #gen v smut #angst #established relationship #smut

[none-shall-caricature-me]

I've noticed that, probably due to a desire to alleviate the grim nature of the original, many xuexiao fanfic writers opt to focus on (twisted or fluffy) romantic feelings of the characters. The emphasis ends up being on their romantic / platonic / sexual attraction rather than their incredibly juicy ideological contest and the antagonistic tension mixed with intrigue that Xue Yang shows towards Xiao Xingchen. Basically, there is too much 'lovers / froends' and not enough 'enemies' in their enemies - to - lovers / friends story. (I'm not criticising that. I'm a sucker for their mushier side too. But I'm equally a sucker for a good brutal battle of creeds.)

So let me fill this gap by describing how DELICIOUS the exploration of the 'you're my enemy and u SUCK and your worldview is RIDICULOUS but I LOVE rotating you in the microwave testing the limits of your resolve' aspect is or can be. I'll use some moments from the show / novel that I find striking in this regard.

XXC is very kind but lacks the worldly experience to be spot - on empathetic (as others have pointed out). He's also rigid to a fault. This is a VERY unpopular interpretation of mine but I believe he can be selfish / negligent in his goodness - he sheds caution about possible repercussions on his near ones in his mission to fight evil. He was smart enough to figure out the Chang massacre and trace it to XY. He knows XY is incredibly vengeful and creative in his vengeance. He's had experience with powerful people who will obstruct justice. Yet he goes ahead with prosecuting XY even when Jin Guangshan acts shady and uncooperative. Didn't he consider that this might put a target on his well - known partner Song Lan ?

Welp, then the Baixue bloodbath happens and XXC very understandably blames himself. I know we like to say it wasn't his fault, and of course it technically wasn't, but he did commit a grave error in not thinking through the consequences. It could be a miscalculation, negligence or even cavalier tunnel - vision, depending on your opinion. But anyway, XXC's morale is shattered and as others (like ameliarating) have said, he determined to never end up harming others in his quest for righteousness again.

XY wiped out Baixue for revenge, but also to kill XXC's hopes and vision, again also mentioned by others. May be a stretch, but it could be XY's way of saying 'hah, you don't care to understand why the world is as awful as it is, and then blame ME for doing shitty things to live it up in a shitty world. So let me show you how things actually work, and why my existence and lifestyle are valid.' It's like a really fucked up method of self - affirmation for XY. (Just in case - I am neutral on XY's actions. The novel doesn't give us much insight into his thoughts, so I'll withhold judgement on the nature vs. nurture debate about XY. But he's definitely an interesting character).

Then XY starts infiltrating XXC's life in Yi City. Why does he stick around after healing ? I like to think it's initially because he's a) taking advantage of XXC's generous freebies cuz why not and b) wants to torment him, yes, but he's also very very curious about XXC. Maybe it's because XXC's still out here trying to do good when many people would've either quit and hardened their hearts, or been broken irreparably. So XY think's he'll get both schadenfreude and try to find out why this dumbass saved a highly suspicious dying man and continued on his goody goody quest instead of learning his lesson. The lesson XY tried to teach him. Maybe XXC's whole deal makes XY wonder how his life would be if he'd acted nicer and more socially acceptable. Would it have saved him any pain ? Would he have had true allies then ? Did he choose a life of callous crime because he is weak - willed and 'inferior' unlike the seemingly unbreakable superiority of XXC ?

So he makes XXC kill on 'night - hunts'. Perhaps to prove that XXC got manipulated into doing harm cuz he's dumb or full of hubris and refuses to wisen up, refuses to become more cynical and wary of people. This ties back into Baixue too. Also I think the book mentions the victims are residents who mocked / cheated XXC ? If that's true, it's like XY is 'introducing' XXC to taking bloody revenge just like XY did on the Chang clan and others who crossed him / his pals. Like he's enacting teaching XXC 'look, if you keep up the good deeds, eventually you'll meet someone who ruins you so you destroy that hope for humanity and become just like me. Your way will always end in disaster, and therefore I'm justified in living like I do.'

Of course, in the end XY realises that XXC's drive to better society was his way of coping with the harsh reality of humans, especially after being ousted from BSSR's mountain. XXC didn't want to live in a sordid world. Meanwhile XY's coping mechanism was to extort the sordid world for all he wanted.

There's a tiny moment in CQL where, after the fake night hunt slaughter, XXC walks past a smirking XY and his arm brushes XY's sleeve, whose grin grows larger. It's like XY's relishing in XXC so casually touching and hanging about him totally unawares. Also he's horny for XXC's combat skills.

So yeah. Antagonist obsessed with corrupting his enemy, wrapping him around his finger, but not willing to let go. He ended up being totally down to bask in XXC's obstinate kindness despite that being the very thing he wanted to disprove and destroy.

XXC hesitates to kill XY after the reveal. What does he get from XY? Maybe it was reassuring that someone as hard - hearted and self - centred as his friend was willing to stick around in no man's land with him. It's soothing because it makes it seem like the world isn't that cruel, that perhaps the potential for good exists in people, hence helping XXC cope with his existential anxiety. He has to hold on to that hope even as his friend's identity is revealed, else there's nothing left for him since he can't bear to live in a world of evil and exploitation.

Why didn't XY move on after XXC's suicide ? If all he wanted was acceptance and shelter, he could've found so many other options. No, he was obsessed with XXC cuz he thought that if someone perfectly willing to kill him in the past over morals hesitated to kill him in the end, it must be an actual stable love. Where else, he thinks, would be find someone who loved him enough to not kill him despite them being such hostile opposites by character and circumstance ? Lots of people could love him cuz they agreed with his worldview or found it / him expedient. Who would love him even when their entire identity and misery opposed it ?

#xuexiao #yi city #is this anything #mdzs #xue yang #xiao xingchen #mo dao zu shi #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #cql #the untamed

[allandoflimbo]

I C E     P R I N C E S S  ∙ 3

Pairings: Popular Girl!Reader x Outkast!Bucky

Explicit Content - Smut - NO MINORS

Summary:

Bucky Barnes is the quiet boy who gets picked on.

The Reader and her friends run with the popular crowd at Stark High.

As the Winter Ball approaches, she is partnered with Bucky Barnes for a class project. They grow close in an inadvertently secret friendship, which later turns into love.

Only catch is…she’s Steve Roger’s ex girlfriend, and before she was partnered up with Bucky, her friends had planned to use and turn Bucky into Stark High’s new it boy to try and get back at Steve; a disgusting bet.

Another catch: She’s a figure skater at the town’s arena every Tuesday and Thursday nights. Bucky works part time at the rink resurfacing the ice. The other doesn’t know.

Modern AU High School fic - later goes into adulthood.

M A S T E R P A G E - FULL SERIES

Warnings: This story will have a lot of angst, a lot of fluff, a lot of cursing, and a lot of sex. Oral, praise kink, body worship, overstimulation, etc. you know me. There will also be loss of virginity in this.

Please support your content creators and writers and leave a review.

P R E V I O U S   C H A P T E R

The chatter in the room is loud.

It mixed with the sounds of chairs and desks grinding over the floor. Everyone was moving their own to their appropriate spots.

Mrs. Ortiz' voice was even louder. She was lucky if anyone was even really listening to her in the first place.

"Now, this assignment is focused on Psychology analyzing. If you look down, you'll see it's based off a book called Rules by John Will-Brooks. You and your partner will each read every other chapter, taking turns. Each chapter will focus on a type of psychological analysis, and at the end, you will write the information you gather about the person using the questionnaire provided at the end. You'll use that to answer what you gather about the other person. Of course, you're not real Psychologists, so you'll be given a certain answer and script for each one. These are based on real dialogue, real cases. This assignment will last about two months."

You moved anxiously in your seat, crossing your legs at the ankles.

"Hannah, you are with Sasha. Eloise, you are with Daniella. Cameron, you're with Ethan. Eric, you are with Michaela," next she said your name, "you are with James, Jasmin, you're with Chris..." Mrs. Ortiz' voice faded out as your eyes went to James.

It was expected just as much as it wasn't. Irony, they call it.

He sat there in his seat, focused at looking through the new textbook on his desk. He showed no distinctive reaction to Mrs. Ortiz' words and you wondered if he had even heard her.

You still felt terrible about what happened yesterday, but nonetheless, this would be a great opportunity to make amends.

Daniella, that sat next to James, got up to move next to her partner.

You tried to read his body language as he barely lifted his eyes from the pages.

He kept his eyes straight down at his book, gaze completely focused.

He moved onto writing something in his notebook.

It was obvious he wasn't going to be making the first move to sit next to you, and that's what you realize he's doing.

He hated this.

You don't blame him at all for being upset with you.

With a deep breath, you gather your book and notebook in your arms and make your way over to him.

You paused as soon as you arrive by his side. He doesn't look up from his notebook, knowing very well that you were standing there.

His jaw was tense. You hadn't noticed that from afar.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Even if you wanted to make amends, he clearly did not like you. Especially so soon after you destroyed his Nikes.

Then, he surprises you.

He stops for a second, finally looks at you, and then looks down at the empty chair next to him.

An invitation.

You take that as your cue and you sit.

You swear you can smell lemons and a subtle, but very nice, waft of cologne the moment you sit down.

Despite him looking naturally kind and approachable, you felt uncomfortable.

You timidly set everything down in front of you. You even begin tp tilt your items on the desk into perfect ninety degree angles; not because of your OCD, but because it gave you something to do for about three seconds.

When that's painfully over, you look over at him again.

He didn't even bother glancing up this time. Unsurprisingly.

Should you put yours desks together?

Was he going to be silent the whole time?

You both sit there for a few minutes, wondering if he's thinking the same thing as you:

Who will be the first to speak?

He continues to take his notes and you open your book to review the first lesson.

You take a deep breath and go for it, shifting once more in your seat for good measure. You even scoot up a bit.

"Did you want to do the even numbered chapters and I do the odds?" You ask after a deep breath.

He stops writing and finally sits back in his seat, letting his pen drop.

His movement makes him look taller and you look away bashfully.

You never were so close to him before. You can't help but notice how similarly built he is to Steve. Sometimes it felt like Steve towered over you.

They were definitely the same height; six feet or so.

James was just a little more lean and toned where Steve was bulky. It was obvious how attractive James was. Where Steve had lighter hair, James' was a deep brown, almost black. Where Steve's eyes were blue with specs of green, James' were only blue. Almost grey. Like the sky before a bad blizzard on a cold evening.

Like that night.

The way he sits back like that, now looking at you and waiting, has you on edge.

You don't realize you're staring until you meet eyes and you quickly look away.

He hands you the blue folder with the name "Phycologist #2" written on it.

You take it, reading it over.

He was okay with you doing the odds.

A lump crawls up your throat as you remember what happened yesterday. You grow this deep need to console him, to apologize profusely.

"So, we need to answer these questions first together. And then we'll read each chapter assigned to us, and do the quiz questions after each read to make sure we understood what we read. Is that good for you?" You ask.

He's not looking at you anymore.

He gives you a short nod, almost disinterested.

He's back to fidgeting with his black pen in his right hand.

You tried to ignore that glare in his eyes, the one that said he clearly did not want to be here next to you right now.

As if you already didn't know.

"Uhm. Okay, first question. A long-standing debate in the field of psychology has been whether moving to a new location makes people happier. Do you think this can apply to people who are looking just for change so it's a change in psych or do you think it happens for everyone? Personally I think it happens for everyone."

He doesn't answer you right away. In fact, he takes so long to reply that you start writing down your own answer quietly.

"I think so, too. Especially if it's a stark difference of culture."

It's the first time you've heard him, and at this close proximity, it made the hair on the back of your neck prickle.

His voice.

Like deep and thick honey being poured over a damn Lindt chocolate.

Your movements falter just slightly against your paper, and you blink slowly.

You couldn't help the small smile that grows at the side of your lips.

"Exactly." You say, "it's about the impact and also picking up on the different kinds of life. Like I mean for you, you just came from Europe, right? So this must be so different for you here. This kind of life." It's interesting the way you watch his face go from interested to pure utter confusion.

"Europe?" His voice is a low rumble as he says it. You can't sense his tone. It was a mix between scorn and sincerity.

You raise a brow at him and then look down at his book.

"Yeah, aren't you—?"

He looks at you for a second longer, to the point where you debate if he's trying to have an eye contest with you, and then he looks away with an almost roll of his eyes.

He can't help the scoff that leaves his lips.

"Jeez." He runs a hand through his hair, nearly pulling at the strands.

You watch as his arm flexes through the dark fabric of his shirt.

You shake your head and place your own arm down on the paper in front of you.

"I don't understand?"

You hope he can see how sincere you were.

"Yeah, maybe don't try then." He snaps back. His eyes finally flicker back to you, the disdain in his eyes so visible it makes you recoil, "Please.

Your mouth opens and closes, unsure of what to respond with.

Judging by his tone and energy behind it, he was holding most of his negative feelings in. It catches you off guard for just a bit.

You hated this. You hated that he assumed something that isn't true about the kind of person you are. You hated that everything that kept happening was proving the exact opposite. You hated that he had been bullied and you didn't even know.

You know you've been oblivious in the past, but you never once saw anyone being rude to him before. This week was the first time.

"I didn't mean to drop that paint on you," you say, your voice lowering, "I'm truly sorry about that." He scoffs again, "I am! I was actually on my way here to apologize for what you overheard on Monday. I'm very sorry."

He doesn't say anything but his eyes do stay on his paper, unshifting.

You know why he's upset. You do.

You're not dense.

The last few months opened your eyes. It was a sharp wake up call to realizing who you were and who the people around you were. You hope you can convey that with the next few words you're about to say.

"Look, Matt Murdock is an asshole. But I'm not like that."

The roll of his eyes and the snarl on his lips is palpable.

You feel your teeth clench at his reaction, and this time, your eyes are the ones that go hard and cold.

This boy, just like everyone, knew nothing. But the truth was, you didn't know him either.

This was a game of tug-o-war, and in the middle was a big metaphorical puddle of shame waiting for one of you to fall in.

The silence that follows after his comment settles between the both of you like a heavy blanket.

"We're done here." He says, closing his notebook.

You're surprised at his quick departure. There was no possible way he would just leave. Right? You still had two months of this.

"We still have to go over this chapter—"

He's already standing up, grabbing his backpack and his things off his desk.

"I'm leaving early." He says, eyes darting to the door. It's then that you see another teacher there waiting for him. He eventually sighs and gives you another glance as he shoves his book into his backpack, "I can't fail this assignment. We can continue this tomorrow." You raise a brow at him as he stops and looks at you for another hard second. Then, his eyes look away for a bit, as if he's realizing something. You're wondering what he's thinking, but you don't have to wonder much longer, "I actually won't be here tomorrow."

"Oh," your eyes drop as you think, "Maybe we can meet up somewhere after school? Maybe you can come over? Or I'll go to your place. That's all I can think of. That or we can wait until Thursday."

You weren't tone deaf, but damn were you insistent of making right.

You can see on his face how much he hates this. If this were some kind of mystical novel and the author was describing this exact moment, right here and now, they'd say his dislike for all of this was as palpable as a lonesome revengeful Viking holding a box of venomous cobras over his enemies' body.

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek.

He really needed this A. Was this worth it? If he wanted to keep his GPA at the high percentile, he needed this bad. He didn't know if he trusted you enough to wait until two days from now, when the second lesson was due by then.

He hated everything about this.

Your place or his?

He never thought he'd even have to ask such a question when it came to you and him.

He almost laughs.

He looked at the teacher that was waiting for him at the door and his eyes drift back down to you in your seat.

You and your friends already took all his dignity at this school. He wasn't going to let you do it in his own home.

"I'll come over." He says.

As soon as Bucky parks his car, he turns to his mom.

"How are you feeling? Nervous?" He asks kindly.

She smiles at him.

"A bit. But I'm also a little excited."

Bucky looks away and nods.

"You're high up."

"I might finally get that lung transplant." She says, running her thumb over her son's cheek. She holds her nebulizer bag closer to her lap, "We should be excited, honey."

He smiles sweetly at her.

He was anxious to see how her appointment would go. Based off his own personal research, she was a perfect candidate for a lung transplant, but he was afraid this was too good to be true.

"I am." He pats the middle console, "You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

He gets out and walks over to the passenger side. He helps her step out his car, closing the door behind her.

He makes sure to keep his one arm stilling linked with hers.

She uses him for support as she stands, her right hand going into the crook of his elbow, holding him there.

"I'm going to need you to run to the store for me tonight. I wanted to make some lasagna for dinner. What do you think?" She asks as they walk to the entrance of the medical facility.

He opens the door for her as they walk into the chilly air.

"I think it sounds great," his face falls, "Shoot."

"What's wrong?"

"I forgot I'm supposed to study at someone's house." He shakes his head. Family always came first, "I can still go. I'll make arrangements."

"Oh, that's alright. I'll have your dad stop by."

Bucky felt his heart shatter, knowing his dad already had too much to worry about tonight. He was also getting older.

"It's fine, I'll let her know I can't make it. You're more important."

He didn't even have your number, so he's not sure how that plan would even work out.

"Absolutely not. You're going to go." Bucky opens his mouth to retaliate but she stops him, "You're going. End of discussion." He closes his mouth and nods, continue to walk her to the reception desk.

They walk a little more and he waits for the inevitable question.

"So it's a girl study partner?"

He could feel a tingle up his back at the thought of seeing you that way. Revolt and hate. That's the kind of feelings a person like you deserved.

"Trust me, mom. She's not a nice person. I just want this A. Only reason I'm doing this."

A warm chuckle leaves her lips.

"Oh, she can't be that bad."

"She is. She's bad company and so are her friends. I'm going there just for the lesson and then I'm going straight home."

You're drying your hands with a paper towel near the sink when you hear a knock at the front door.

You curse to yourself as you grab your phone and quickly look at the clock.

You completely lost track of time trying to help prepare dinner for your parents.

They were both physicians in two different ERs, so they usually weren't home on Wednesdays until after seven PM. Morning shift.

That meant that tonight you had to help with dinner for when they came home. Usually when they had the graveyard shifts, they'd have something ready on the stove before they left. Out of kindness of their hearts.

Even though you didn't think it was necessary for them to do that every time, especially when you had more than the reason to help them out, you clung onto it. Mainly because it was one of the last remaining things that happened here at home that made it feel like it was still that; home.

You go through your foyer and open the door.

James stood there in a black jacket and dark jeans. He held his book in one arm and his other hand was running through his hair. He looked like he didn't want to be here at all.

He still wasn't even trying to hide it.

You don't let that discourage you.

"Hey," you give him a small smile, "Come on in." You step aside for him to walk in.

The second he steps foot into your house the awkward tension is already there.

You close the door quietly behind him.

You watch as he looks around. The last thing you wanted was for him to be uncomfortable.

You home was dimly lit, the only light on was a lamp in the living room and a soft light over the island in the kitchen.

He notices how homey it feels in here. He also notices all the family photos, especially the ones near the stairs at the front.

"My parents won't be home for another hour or so." You tell him, "Can I take your jacket?"

His eyes flicker over to you immediately.

"No, it's okay." He mumbles, stuffing his left hand into its pocket.

You nod and look away.

You tell him he can leave his shoes at the door and then you point to the dark wooden stairs.

His shoes he actually does remove, leaving him in black socks.

"We can actually go up to my room. Just be careful with these steps. They can get slippy."

He trails behind you and follows you into your room.

You sense his hesitancy to come in all the way as he takes a quick scan.

Your room was nice, he wouldn't deny that.

He notices a few books on your desk and some on a book shelf; mostly fiction. Against your wall on the floor was a pair of white ice skates.

You walk over to your desk and grab your book and notebook.

On your desk was a picture of you and another guy hugging, maybe a few years older than you.

He was placing a kiss on the top of your head.

"You can take a seat." You motion blindly towards your bed nonchalantly, looking for something in your desk drawer.

James makes his way to your bed. It's white and fluffy and still made; pristine.

You finally turn around to face him, and he looks down at your hand. You had been looking for a highlighter.

Classic Yellow.

He doesn't know why his nerves are on high end right now. He doesn't know why he's so nervous about being in a Stark High's princess' bedroom. What he does know is how annoyed he is by your complete oblivion to how incredibly cruel and mean you are and don't realize it. He can't even put into words how much it pisses him off to see you treating him like you or your friends never did the things you did.

You really did all live in your little world with your little perfect lives.

He's seen it for years and he saw it looking at the photos downstairs and now your room. Happy photos everywhere, trophies and metals. For what, he doesn't care.

He's brought back to now when the bed dips down with your weight.

You open your book.

"Alright, do you want to read the first lesson? And then I'll do the questionnaire at the end and we can go from there? Same for lesson two?"

He clears his throat and pulls out his notebook and book.

"Sure."

The behavior is mechanical for the next twenty minutes.

He talks, you respond. He asks, you respond. You ask, he answers.

He watches you as you read everything correctly and answer everything correctly. You were clearly very smart and seemed to take your academics seriously. The fact that you were both able to set your tension aside to focus on your school said a lot about the both of you.

Yeah, he knew what it said.

It said that you were both trying goddamn hard to avoid the huge elephant in the room.

"So that was the last question." You say, writing down your notes in your notebook, "We're covered for tomorrow and Friday." You look up when he doesn't respond, but you see him writing, too.

When he finishes he slides his pen into the spine of his notebook and closes his text book. He starts to pack, getting ready to leave.

You clear your throat.

"Bucky," the second you say his nickname his head snaps up, confused, "I saw it on your notebook." You don't know what look he's giving you but whatever that look is, it makes you feel not too great. He stares at you for a second longer before taking a deep breath and moving off from your bed. His jaw is tense.

He huffs from his nose and looks at you once more. You stand up until you're standing in front of him. You had to tilt your head a bit up.

Definitely Steve's height.

He gives you a cold stare that nearly chills you.

"I should go." He whispers out, eyes on your floor.

You tug on the sleeves of your shirt, debating on how you should stop him, but your words get stuck in your mouth.

You're at lost for what to say as he leaves your room abruptly, leaving you standing there, open text book still on the bed.

N E X T   C H A P T E R

Tag list: @dinoswierdmom @sebsgirl71479 @wintasssoldier @melimelbean​ @steadygoopangelhairdo​ @prettywhenicry4​ @bonkybarnes106​ @undeadhoneydew​ @midnightvitality​ @ene-rene​ @ccmarvelxx​ @hanahkatexo @gr33nleo​ 

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #bucking imagine #marvel #modern AU

[disruptivevoib]

HI eleutheromania anon again

not sure how to word my thoughts fully but so normal about whole. actually just eleutheromania whole and soul's entire dynamic infested my brain for days

it's just!!! so well written!!!! and i'm so normal about the two of them. it was nice 2 see an au about them because they make me sick /pos

question wise.. i dunno. any facts u want to say or anythinf about the au is cool really.,.,...,..

ermm. yea ill sign off

-🫀

I am glad you enjoyed it! Its the first fic I've written in a long time (probably been about 8 years?) but I wrote the whole thing actually in the notes app on my phone then edited and rewrote it on the computer. So that is one fun silly fact.

But in regards to the au...

It came about due to me splitting the concept for one au into two! Eleutheromania specifically also wound up focusing on HMS+W in way of self-destruction and sabotage.

Maybe if I can convince myself to write Eleutherophobia, the version from Whole's perspective which goes a bit into the post Eleutheromania stuff.. I could get more of the story out to sort of build on that.

The base fic ATM showcases it, but not to the entire extent of which.. both Whole and Soul are horrible, sure, but neither is really evil to me! They're both the same guy and a reflection of that same person who hates himself so much he was willing to destroy (in Whole's case) the last part of himself that held out hope, or loved himself.

A willing self sabotage, due to know knowing how to become comfortable with the person you are or will be. While its derivative in a way from the CCCC source material I always like exploring mental health themes so.. boom!

There is a repeating pattern of this destruction too. Eleutheromania to phobia to... what.. well.. I don't know what I'll call the one with Heart and Mind, if I even write it. But that's where a more positive resolution lies if I can focus on having the time!

Whole and Soul swap places once Soul takes control and from there its an interesting dynamic that develops, even more so between Soul, Heart and Mind.. because Soul did all of this for them initially, but after some time convinced himself they weren't real. Something about saving yourself and trying hard but winding up leaving the people you care about behind and becoming someone else when you lose your way.

Not that Soul became anyone else, he just did the one thing he knew how to do, which was reflect Whole.

It is also a point to say that Heart and Mind do not need Soul to agree to make Whole here. Their loop typically went that Soul was missing, they blamed one another for him leaving. He would show up once Heart was in the pit and Mind was trying to manage control, Soul would threaten them, they'd make-up and the end. But it never really meant that Calliope (Soul) had a say in all of it.

Interestingly, I guess, he was as much of a puppet as Mind and Heart. The only difference is he remembers and that's it!

#info dumps about my au to you #asks #voidthoughts #eleutheromania au #I think I dunno its probably my au with the most symbolism? #Sun Down I love a lot though still #And other aus do have a lot of symbolism to em but stuff like Swap and Sun Down aren't inherently built for it #call them more self indulgent with a lot of symbolism pertaining to the characters and much less whole or how the album does it

[ffjj5]

Happy birthday to the beautiful human that is Park Jimin 💜

This year to celebrate Jimin's birthday I want to celebrate Jimin on stage.

It is where he is in his element. It is where he seems at his happiest.

He shines so brightly up on stage and stands out for how incredibly talented he is.

This Jimin focus clip of the Dionysus performance 2019 at SBS Gayo Daejeon Music festival is one example of that.

I am not going to pretend to know the technical aspects of dancing, because I don't, not even a little bit. But I do know that when I see Jimin dance it makes me feel something.

The man can be a menace on stage, and he really does let his sexy side run wild. He can get lost in the moment and the sassy, sexy aura is powerful.

As Namjoon said " Jimin is shy, but not on the stage"

We all remember Kitty gang Jimin right?? Something else right!

But right now, I want to focus on his solo dances. These are beautiful and emotive. He is a true vision up on that stage when it is just him, the music and the spotlight.

To keep this from being a long ass post I will stick to my top 3

I NEED U

My personal favourite. This breath-taking dance to 'I need u' at the 2019 MMA's. How can you not be moved by the way he moves, he embodies the character and the emotion of the dance beautifully.

An analyisis of the dance is available here.

LIE

This performance by Jimin to 'Lie' was stunning. He wasn't only blindfolded but he was blindfolded whist dancing in perfect timing with Hobi for the second part of the dance. The skill level needed to do this and do it well is so high.

I have written about Lie in length previously, feel free to read it if the mood takes you. 6 years of 'Lie'

SERENDIPITY

Now we can't talk about Jimin and not mention Serendipity. For me this is top tier Jimin solo music. This performance is iconic amongst ARMY and rightly so. He executes the dance with such grace and control. All while maintaining his vocals. That's talent right there.

What I would give to see this live

It is a beautiful song in its own right but then you add in the Jimin and Jungkook element and how they have made it their own, then, on each listen, it is as if they are showing us just a glimpse into their hearts.

The performance for the stage was choreographed by Brian Puspos who Jimin always admired.

I don't need to remind you that this man's choreography gave us an iconic Jikook moment; you know the one, I don't need to remind you, do I? But just in case it has slipped your memory 😉...

It seems the admiration is mutual. In this video he talks about his admiration of Jimin's dancing and the process of choreographing Serendipity, with fellow dancer Clay. You can read him gushing over Jimin here too and who can blame him, the man is only human.

"What, the Filter performance isn't in your list" I hear you cry. No, it isn't but only because that is for a future post as there is a lot to say about that song lyrically and the performance.

But let's not deny ourselves completely

So, in conclusion HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the man who was the reason that I finally fell into this BTS world hook, line and sinker. His talent, heart, beauty and sense of humour are hard to resist.

He has been a real inspiration to me when I was going through some identity issues at the time that I found BTS. (Thanks to my daughter and her insistence on playing their music videos for me to watch.)

His story of how he grew to accept who he is and not hide behind what he thought he should show to the world, moved me beyond words. And I think by now how I feel about his love story with Jungkook is known.

Jimin is my eternal source of happiness. If I'm ever feeling low then watching him fall off chairs or say 'sketchbook' or 'hot choco' or just him being his naturally funny self, has me smiling within seconds.

Thank you Jimin for just being you 💜

#jimin #park jimin #jm #happy birthday jimin #Youtube

[ronanceisintheair]

a post u made a bit ago reminds me of an hoh steve harrington (which, as a hoh person i have... mixed feelings abt but that's another can of worms) fic and it was the single most dumbest thing i have ever read, because the amount of victim blaming is INSANE

basically, jonathan is the cause of steve's fading hearing. not, you know, billy who damaged steve far worse or the literal russian torture. makes a ton of sense. and it essentially makes jonathan out to be an asshole who attacked steve with severe malice who hurt steve unprovoked. oh, also, apparently robin, steve's best friend, doesn't notice he's hard of hearing, but eddie does. how long has he known that guy again?

some steddies are fucking INSANE

Waking up to this ask was truly🤌 you have opened my pandora box

My fuh.king.god! the st*ddies are truly insufferable. Like I'm not here to police having fun shipping obviously but it's just become so sad and pathetic; ultimately st*ddie is just born to make st*ve this pathetic love starved character who is always the victim and has never done anything wrong...

The demonizing of Nancy for not loving Steve romantically even though like... that relationship was doomed from the start. He was not a good boyfriend. His *love* for her was not the love she needed, his *love language* was not remotely close to what she needed. He didn't try to understand Nancy's pain and trauma...anyway I digress.

The way people blame Jonathan for everything when it comes to st*ve is also LAUGHABLE at best if it weren't so pathetic and embarrassing; someone blamed Jonathan for not making sure st*ve left the party before taking home a drunk Nancy?? Someone made it seem like Jonathan needed permission from St*ve to date Nancy??? Like wtf? Please get your head from out of st*ve h*rrington ass.

Jonathan doesn't owe St*ve anything. Also Jonathan deserved to beat the absolute shit out of him. St*ve was so fragile he didn't talk to his gf instead took his friend to publicly slut Shame her THEN accused Jonathan of killing will and amongst being the absolute worst homophobic asshole. So yea he deserved to get his shit rocked.

*Nancy should've got to rock his shit too.

Like st*ve in the case of Nancy and Jonathan is only a victim of his own actions 🙄

Anyway I digress...again... sure hoh st*ve that could be fun. These kids have been through hell and hell again.

But in this case it feels...very...glamorized. obviously I haven't and WONT read the fic but it sounds not good.

Giving him a disability only for the purpose of making him this dude who needs sympathy and coddling. Or to garner a sympathy piece for him... Giving him a disability to push the played out st*ddie agenda of st*ve being this *pathetic*(people with disabilities are not pathetic and are beyond capable and competent) but this is the vibe from what you described. Like they gave st*ve hoh just to make him seem smaller??? Not because they actually wanted to write in representation or focus on how his physical trauma could affect him...

Truly insane when people use e*ddie as this "no one has ever loved St*ve wah wah and finally he's being seen"

We love exploring trauma and self loathing in writing sure sure, ofc! But my goodness if the st*ve stans haven't gone far beyond. It's like if I said give me a paragraph and they wrote an entire thesis filled with bs.

(I'm not hoh so my opinion may be not but I don't see st*ve as hoh I definitely see him more as someone with a vision impairment. But also would love to hear your other can of worms about hoh st*ve if only you wanted to share anon. Thank you for this message <3)

#anti steddie #anti steve harrington #asksintheair

[zagged-again]

hard to believe that it isn't ai generated :( lol saw some ppl commenting how it looks ai generated. can't blame em

its gonna take years for even a trailer to come out but what are some things you're wishing to see in the movie? i hope the one guy from the concept art is her love interest, but most likely hes prob not. based on the little info we got on it, how do u think its gonna play out? any theories?

would be cool if they have a spin off series of her and her possible friend group's adventures in nyc

Yeah :(

I think it's possible he's a love interest but the romance won't be a big focus. Maybe he'll be a supportive friend who has some shippy moments with her.

When I imagine what the movie will be like, I think of animated Barbie movies, except on big screen. You got a talented young girl with magic powers, her sidekicks (musical notes and possibly animals), supportive girl friends and a guy who may or may not be a love interest, an evil lady that probably wants to steal her magic, the themes of being yourself and following your dreams and of course, songs. There are also modern fairytale vibes: I remember reading somewhere that the notes were based off the seven dwarfs, and the villainess reminds me of the evil queen/stepmother, except she's jealous not of Melody's beauty, but of her singing.

The villain lady, Rose Stellar, is probably the most interesting to me (also she's gorgeous). There is an image where Melody is singing at someone's grave, so what if one or both of her parents passed away? Imagine if it was her mother who gave her love of music, and after her death, maybe Melody abandons music for a while or the other way around - clings to music because it reminds her of her mom.

Then, when Melody arrives to the city, Rose could step in as an evil "stepmother", promising to take the girl under her wing and help her reach more fame, while secretly planning to destroy her.

I want her to have a big villain song. It could be her manipulating Melody (something like "Evil Like Me", except it's "Don't you want to be popular like me?") or her singing about her evil plans and her jealousy when she's alone (I keep thinking of "Little Girls" though in that case the antagonist is someone who wants to rise to fame, not someone who wants to maintain it).

Anyway, I think the movie could go something like this:

- Melody's childhood. We see her friends (Nina and Sunny), her family, how she discovered her love for music

- Jump to the present day, we see her deciding to go to the big city or her discovering the magical notes that serve as her guides

- In the city, she meets new people and builds up the courage to start performing in public (like at the park or at the square), attracting a lot of attention

- Rose notices her and gets jealous. Maybe she knows about the notes from the beginning or maybe, she finds out later. Either way, she wants Melody's magic and she wants to destroy her career before she gets more popular than her

- So she pretends to like Melody and says she wants to help her

- Notes try to make sure that Melody doesn't get caught up in all the fame and forget about her friends

- In the climax of the movie, Rose is close to achieving what she wants, and Melody finds out her true intentions and loses all hope. She thought her idol liked her, but actually, it was all fake, and maybe, without the notes, she feels like she's not good enough.

- Her friends reach out and tell her it's not true, and they have a touching song together (this is where I think "Sunny's letter" could come in)

- I can see something like the scene from "Belle" happening, where she starts out singing alone, and then more voices tune in, until it's the whole audience singing with her

- In the end, Rose is defeated, and Melody finds her own way to be a singer. Perhaps even helps kids like her to learn music

A spin-off series could be fun. Though Zag already has a concept for a series about a music school, Superstar, and I hope it wasn't abandoned completely because I love the designs of the charas.

#replies #melody #melody the movie

[amywritesthings]

Very emotional chapter even though we knew what was going to happen. Oh poor Levi, I know you blame yourself, but for what reason I do not know. You got a second chance and still almost lost her again, use it wisely man, no weird distance or anything similar...I would also like to ask what act 3 of SU is going to be about, if u can share anything. Because I think this could go in two main directions either James regains all of her memories or she just remembers the accident. But then I don't know what else could be written if she just remembers everything... maybe her mental health from the trauma?

Oh gosh, thank you for this message! I love getting stuff like this 😭 this was a difficult chapter to write for me specifically because we've had so much foreshadow and talk about what happened without actually seeing what happened -- and there are three sides of the story: James' version, Levi's version, and the truth. But i'll discuss in a read more in case people have not read yet!

As for Levi blaming himself, it's very complicated, right? She brought it on herself for going back for Miro squad, assuming these Abnormals weren't going to actually pop up as planned. She's not afraid of the regular titans, but I think therein lies James' issue: she was so set on somehow keeping everyone - or at least as many people as she could - alive considering she wasn't there when Furlan/Isabel died, and she spent two whole months thinking Levi died, too.

Now, for Levi - I think no matter what he'd say it's because of him. He could have manhandled it and totally broken the 'secrecy' of their connection and demanded she stay back. He could have volunteered to go see Miro Squad for himself instead of leaving them to their own devices. There are a lot of 'could' scenarios that I think he's agonized over where he found a pocket that this can be his fault.

So when I outlined SU, my goal was: the present, the past, then the future. Act 3 is going to focus on the future of Levi & James, especially now that we've seen what got them to the point that led to her amnesia. Without spoiling too much, the 'worst' of it all is nearly over, and it'll be the healing portion of their trauma and grief.

#fic: silver underground #feedback. #questions. #su spoilers

[fruit-of-infidelity]

♱ DIABOLIK LOVERS: Haunted Dark Bridal ー Sakamaki Ryuuto | Heaven 01 ♱

⌜ Scene: Living Room ⌟

Yui: U-Uhm, Ryuuto-san?

I really don’t know about this…

( I can’t look anywhere but at my feet. If I do, I’m afraid I might… )

Ryuuto: How on earth do you expect to get any better at painting if you don’t practise?

What’s more… You should be grateful that I’m to be your muse tonight.

Yui: E-Even so, why do you have to be, you know…

Ryuuto: Naked?

Yui: ( D-Don’t say it so casually! )

( There’s no way he can expect me to paint seriously when he’s like this, right!? )

A-Aren’t you embarrassed, doing this…?

Ryuuto: Art is nothing to be embarrassed about.

If you don’t have a proper model for you to learn your anatomy from, you won’t be able to understand nearly as much as you should.

For example…

ー Ryuuto shifts to show some of his body off. ー

Notice how this muscle on the upper thigh here is far more prominent when I flex and turn this way? What’s more…

If I were to roll my hips forward, like this, itーー

Yui: ーーPlease, Ryuuto-san, at least cover your more private places!

Ryuuto: …Fufu, what a reaction.

If you cannot focus on this as merely art, you have no one else to blame but yourself. It’s your lewd mind, after all, that’s hindering you.

Yui: Lewd mind…!? It’s not that!

Ryuuto: Then, look at me, Pet. 

Yui: I-I…

( If I look, I might see a little too much! )

Ryuuto: Look.

━─┉┈◈ Selection ◈┈┉─━

　　❈  Look at him

Yui: ( Okay, Yui. If you keep your eyes straight ahead, on his… Everything should be fine. )

… …

Ryuuto: Very good. That wasn’t so difficult, was it?

Yui: ( E-Even out of my peripheral vision, I’m seeing more than I want! )

( Th-There’s no way I can keep this up! )

Uu… I can’t!

　　❈  Cover your eyes

Yui: ( Th-That’s… There’s just no way! )

I-I’m sorry, I can’t do that! Not while you’re totally naked!

Ryuuto: Fufu, so you’ve resorted to covering your eyes?

Yui: This way, I-I don’t have to worry about seeing too much!

( You could make this so much easier i-if you just covered yourself! )

━━─┉┈┈◈◉◈┈┈┉─━━

Ryuuto: Goodness me, Pet… You’re acting incredibly shy. You were far less bashful in the bedroom, last I remember.

What’s come over you all of a sudden?

Yui: Don’t b-bring that up here and now!

Ryuuto: All I am suggesting is that perhaps we ought to continue these paint lessons later tonight. Would you be far more confident, then?

Especially if you also stripped down, for our lessons.

Yui: R-Ryuuto-san…!

Ryuuto: I suppose that’s a “no”, then?

ー Ryuuto stands up from the couch. ー

In that case… Perhaps this ought to make it easier.

ー He comes closer. ー

Yui: ( I can hear him coming closer and closer… )

Wh-What are you doing?

Ryuuto: Try not to sound so suspicious of me. You don’t truly think I would do anything too rash, after all, do you?

Yui: If you say it with that tone, I don’t know if I can be so sure…

( I can feel him standing right in front of me… Oh dear, I’m feeling so hot! )

Ryuuto: If you aren’t to use your eyes… then use your hands, instead.

ー He grasps one of her hands. ー

Yui: What do you mean by that…!?

Ryuuto: Mm… I’ll direct you.

With these warm hands, can you feel myーー

Yui: …!!

( Something… hard, curved… )

( Wh-Where on earth am I touching!? )

ー She pulls away quickly. ー

Th-There’s no way I’m letting you lead me on touching your body like this!

ー There’s some rustling. ー

Ryuuto: Hmm… A-ha.

ー He finally returns to the couch. ー

That should do.

Look at me again, Pet. There should be little to complain about now.

Yui: …Alright, here goes nothing.

…!!

ー He is now covered from the waist down. ー

Ryuuto: Perhaps I threw you a little too far into the deep end.

For now, for us to lay down the foundation of the male figure, I’ll keep myself covered. We’ll simply work our way up from there.

Yui: Phew… That’s better…!

( Even if it’s only the bottom half of him covered with a towel like this, I feel like I’ll be able to pay attention much better now! )

( Saying it like that though, makes me sound like a pervert…! )

W-Wait a moment…! “Work our way up”?

O-One way or another, you’re saying you’ll still end up completely bare!?

Ryuuto: Precisely.

Now, where was I, regarding the male figure?

Yui: ( There’s just no getting out of this, is there? )

( Soon enough, I’m going to see Ryuuto-san completely naked when we have these sessions! As my model, of all things... )

( Uu… My cheeks won’t stop burning at the thought! )

✥ TO BE CONTINUED ✥

─────── ≪ °♛° ≫ ───────

←  [ ✥ Heaven Prologue ✥ ] ⎥ [ ✥ Heaven 02 ✥ ]  →

#(( the infamous heaven scenario is here >< #Diabolik Lovers #dialovers #diabolik lovers oc #ryuuto sakamaki #ryuuto route #sakamaki ryuuto #sakamaki ryuuto route #ryuuto sakamaki route #hdbryuutoheaven01 #haunted dark bridal #haunted dark bridal heaven

[pansypr3p]

which mcr songs do u skip (i skip wttbp and all of bullets)

ALL OF BULLETS? you are so fucking lucky i like questions. bullets haters besides this one anon need to fucking leave i love bullets and if you dont we cant be friends im sorry. bullets forever. anon stays until they run out of questioms bc im having fun.

okay, but, i am going to get yelled at by my boyfriend and also probably everyone for this, but listen to me, i follow whatever the autism tells me to do, so it is not my fault. blame her (the autism).

NA NA NA —

this is genuinely! one of my favorite songs! okay! in my defense! i fucking love her! and this entire album! danger days lover! but, because shes so popular, it doesnt give me the right mcr vibes for when im in a "literally only listen to mcr for 5 days" state, which is all of the time. i listen to mcr and decaydance and a few other people almost exclusively. so.

PLANETARY (GO!) —

yeah its one of my favorites and yet i skip it all the time. i couldnt tell you why, because i genuinely do love her, but i know i do it bc every time i do i wait like 5 mins and realize i skipped her and yell at myself for it.

S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W —

I HAVENT BEEN SKIPPING HER LATELY, OKAY? but again, i usually have a very specific vibe im matching and scarecrow is a.. lower toned song i suppose? its not quite as faced paced or loud, and its often that im just less in the mood. but the fact that its the same beat as the snowflake song delights me so ive been listening to her more.

SUMMERTIME —

see above, honestly! its a very sweet and tender song abt love and i absolutely adore it, but its just not my usual mood.

DESTROYA —

this song feels too dangerous to play most of the time. it feels like if mcr was like 500x scarier (and subsequently 500x hotter) and that is terrifying because i can barely stand them now. if i listen to her more than one day a month i pass out and go into a brief coma. so sorry. shes too hot for me.

THE END. —

wrong vibes! nothing against her . i love her .

WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE —

MASSIVELY overplayed and yet so so underappreciated !!! ugh!!! i love wttbp, but i cant stand it by virtue of "no one knows her like i do" and "the part of this song that is the Wrong Vibe is Way Too Long"

I DONT LOVE YOU —

GREAT SONG FUCKING LOVE THIS SONG however she also suffers from... wrong vibe

CANCER —

see above

MAMA —

i LOVE mama. like. SO much. as much as EVERYONE does. but she also suffers from. Overplayed

TEENAGERS —

teenagers was the first mcr song i ever heard and also the first song i ever actually liked - shes just another overplayed one. to be clear, im not like, AGAINST the ones i call overplayed, they just rub me wrong bc of how often i hear them. theyre played because theyre GOOD tho.

DISENCHANTED —

im obsessed with disenchanted and i always will be, but for me to enjoy her i have to be focused and when i play music (always, in the background, 24/7, literally no i am not kidding i have music playing rn and im watching a show) i am not able to focus on her enough :/

BLOOD —

saying i "dislike" blood is disingenuous because i i find it hard to dislike any mcr song. if u take all the layers apart it drives me crazy i couldnt possibly dislike any of them even a fucking little. but plainly im just not usually in the mood for her LOL

HELENA —

the worst case of overplayed so far. she gets on my nerves bc of that. shes a great song! objectively! but this is the closest i could get to disliking an mcr song

TO THE END —

tbh? dont know why i skip her so much lol

IM NOT OKAY —

the intro is amazing but its not suuper interesting as a song to me ? surface level enjoyment at least, like, id have to focus like i focus on disenchanted to enjoy her properly

GHOST OF YOU —

wrong vibes

#unlike u guys i skip stufd just cuz #bullets is a no skip album for me yeah <3

[kinfriday]

Grim

As consciousness caught, I was warm and comfortable on my sleeping mat. Cocooned in my sleeping quilt, the world still felt far away.  

Still, it was time to get up, and get going. With a deep breath I threw off my quilt only for 26 degree air to hit me.  

“Oh dear Gods!” That certainly woke me up. Clutching my quilt, laying back down immediately, my eyes focused on the frozen condensation clinging to the top of my tent.  

What followed was a five minute pep up session.  

“You have to do this, It's resupply day. It’s not going to get any easier waiting here, just a few minutes of discomfort, then its oatmeal time and you’ll be rolling.”  

There was nothing to do, no way of getting rapidly warm, there was only facing and ultimately accepting the cold.  

This was what I signed up for hiking the Pacific Crest Trail. Scorching hot days in the Mojave, then frigidly cold mornings in the High Sierras.  

The world did not care that we were heading into June, it still found cause to be freezing. 

Later on that morning, I’d lose feeling in my index finger and thumbs, and with that numbness, a loss of the ability to open and close them. It was miserable, my coldest day, no matter the gear I had, or the preparations I had made to be ready for those conditions.  

My circulation is poor, I’m deeply affected by the cold and that was just another reality to face.  

And how did the PCT end up for me? Did I ultimately make it to the Northern Terminus? 

I didn’t...  

Right at the Washington border, with about a month left to go, a severe injury took me off the trail and sidelined me for four months.  

Another goal missed, after countless work, countless dollars, and endless hours of effort.  

Life is often like that, I’ve found. When you have a goal, there’s two ways it can go, success or failure. Some people are great are finding success, other people are more like me and often on the struggle bus.  

No matter what though, failure is the base state, it’s the resting condition. Success is an active process, it must be perpetuated and maintained, which, in our world of entropy means that success will always degrade into failure.  

Seems grim doesn’t it? Eventually you will get too old, too hurt, too sick, too burnt out, and the routine will fly off the rails, destroying the heady idea that your current motion will carry you on through whatever challenge.  

Maybe it will, for a little while, but inevitably the cart will slow, come to a stop, and often roll back against the inevitable incline that you’ve encountered.  

We will all encounter these moments, and this is where many people will give up. It’s a natural result of the process. You get knocked down hard enough, or enough times, and it can entirely reshape your world and focus.  

I know this because I’ve been there many times, I’ve not just been knocked down, there have been moments where my entire world has burned to ashes, incinerating everything I ever thought I knew about myself, or the world before me, leaving me with nothing to do but start again.  

Eventually, at least in my case, there’s a question that begins to float like a demon in my head, one I’ve given far too much power too in the past.  

Why try at all? If it all ultimately comes to nothing, if I’m just going to fail, like I always fail, what’s the point in the effort? Relax, grab the pretzels, curl up in your chair and wait for the bus. Why do the work, when you can just coast. No ones going to blame you. Hell no one is even going to care much.  

Define nihilism, yet it’s an unavoidable point, isn’t it? Memento Mori.... I could be the most successful person on earth, hit every goal I’ve ever tried to achieve and still, at the end, there’s ol’ Death. They make no exceptions for champions or losers, coming for us all.  

But what was the reason for the goal? What was the point of the effort beyond reaching it? Something motivated me to try, to work hard, to set out from the Mexican border and go for it, even knowing that up to 60% don’t make it for whatever reason.  

Something motivates me to get back on that treadmill too, no matter how many times my knees or hips give out, sidelining me for a week or longer.  

Something keeps me coming back again and again, even though every routine I have eventually flies apart and burns before me and that’s what I call my “why.” 

The Why is what transcends success or failure, it’s greater than me, it’s the point of me. It’s the reason I am.  

It does not ultimately matter that injury took me off the trail, or that since I hit a peak in 2020, I haven’t been able to get anywhere near that peak again.... yet.  

Deep down, there’s a focus beyond myself, there’s a purpose, and we all have one.  

That’s our why, and that’s what you need to get back up, again and again when the world, or circumstance pushes you down, because it’s not tied to your emotions, your motivations, your passion, it’s tied to who you are.  

Nihilism can't touch it, because it is pure meaning, unassailable in the face of the abyss.

It is far better to live the life you want than the lie you are given, because to live the life you want, to chase that purpose, is to honor the core of who you are, and no matter how it goes, to chase that is a success that many will never find, no matter how you have failed, because that’s what it means to be real.  

#heathenasceticism #heathenry #anglosaxonpagan #anglosaxonheathenery #asceticism #wanderingascetic #neopaganism #neopagan #therianthropy #therian #otherkin #theway of the hare #troth #discipline #asatru #hope #calling #beingbetter #pacific crest trail #thru hiking #failure #success

[just-my-type-x]

Anon from earlier talking about SnC & Jake here. Thanks for clearing up what you meant! Honestly I feel like halfway through living in the new house things got weird between all four of them. They started being really spread out once the world opened up more and they could actually go out and see other people instead of being in a mandatory lockdown with each other. Obviously we don’t know what happened behind the scenes but it’s kinda sad to see them all disperse and act like they weren’t friends or roommates.

I get that maybe something went on and they don’t want to dwell on it but everything dissolved so suddenly and the whole Corey filming with Elton thing really doesn’t sit well with me especially since he moved out to “focus on his music and dancing” only to go right back to paranormal and not really do much in terms of music and dance.

I’m glad to see that they all seem to be doing well in their respective areas though. People grow and change but at least we’ll always have the old videos to look back on 🤷‍♀️

I feel like maybe, when the first trap house ended and they moved out, it should've stayed that way. Somehow, while living in their apartments, they learned what makes them relaxed and comfortable. They learned how to live by themselves even tho they were seeing each other almost every day. After living alone and all of a sudden u get into a house and decide to live together again,things are not the same anymore. u can see that some habits of the others' changed. And i'm talking about all of them, not just jake and corey. Maybe, on some extent, that's the reason behind the downfall of their friendship. Maybe they shouldn't have moved back together.

It's nice to see, at least, that SnC still mention them or post certain clips with them from their previous investigations when comparing evidence on their new videos.

As to them giving us a reason behind everything, i think SnC are afraid JnC are going to get hate or something and they don't want that to happen. At the end of the day, their friendship was really special and i think JnC would find the boys giving us an explanation like a need for their name to be cleared in case people blame SnC. Afterwards it would just be a huge mess and they would start fighting. It's better to assume than to see them go at each other's throats when in the past it was "only good times and laughter"

#ask #colby brock #sam and colby #sam golbach

[rennyji]

not getting that conscious choice should shape chemicals in brain - not other way around

eitherFromDirect (pupeteering) indirect (proddingThruWords) mindControl, parentsMadeUnfit ofApparently mentallyIll me. orchestrators wantMe on injectablesAfter creating volatileNaked situation.They won’t letMy arrangedIndianMarriageTakePlace or C myRelatives2putMe inGovmtCustody,

The amount of things I wrote to help your society whether it be solving mental illness, or strengthening ur minds, or about your congress, about Ukraine, about Israel/palestine, about ur Christian origins, and now I’m apparently aggressively suicidal and crazy.-

- as I said ages ago, you can say 10,0000 good things, but people will only remember the 1 bad. Why waste time on others??

- all this is an opportunity 4 every1 jealous/angry @ me, 2 have their moment 2 shine/get @ me. It’s an opportunity4greedy opportunists like orchestratorsMonopolizingOverMy ideas.ItsOpportunity 4 worst human beings 2 enact revenge 4theirSelf inflictedPlight. Jerry Jerry Jerry!

My anonymity has been compromised. I wrote on in 2011, 2012, 2013. Then while paintingMeAsMentally ill/subjectingMe 2centerOfAttentionConspiracy (realParanoiaSituation),&mindReading/mind control(did U no about MIND CONTROL aspect<-how r people not looting) further took anonymity.

What retards doing this, in orchestrators, don’t get, is that when U take psychiatric drugs or when some invisible wave is sent out, it shouldn’t change ur personality, but augment U. U should retain ur core personality attributes & function better, not be a differentPerson.-

- when I first saw mental health professionals, goal was 2 get U accustomed 2 a style of thinking w/drugs, slowlyWeanoff, so ur personality/brain adapt.-

- Nowadays, mentality is replaced w/neurotransmitter deficiencies, where ur on harmful drugs, lifelong, w/o conscious growth/effort. Usually psychotherapy is given to guide thinking in such cases.-

- when I received my ADD fix/combo of calm and focus (serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine), I was ready 4 an augment, & aware of the rise in energy that could turn into a short temper. My awareness, & my years of wishing on birthday candles & prayer 4 focus, preparedMe.-

- w/o naming names, in my life & on tv, I don’t see me. I became, me, without the crutches. I could walk/see. other people I’m seeing have lost their innocence. Some of women are more carefree, & hardened like they don’t want to show weakness.But in weakness was their innocence. These women look more like they're annoying stereotypical friends who slept with a 100 men and now want to brain wash their friend into getting into the mentality of saying/acting like F*U to the world.-

- some of the brainy people I see on tv, have lost their joking side of casual side to their personality. If it were me, I’d remember those nuances/colloquialisms, and combine it with my newfound intellectual curiosity. Then ur an augmented individual, not a different person.-

- our emotions/ feelings R there 4 a reason. They are usually a sign, we need 2 make a change. If we’re sad, then we need to make a change 2 correct reason 4 sadness. If sadness is persisting, we may need medicinal help, to counter the unnatural duration of sadness 2 function.-

- even hunger, in most cases, outside the reason for a fast or abstinence, is a sign we need to stop what we’re doing to eat to replenish our bodies. If we’re tired, our bodies are telling us to nap, not necessarily to swish away the tired feeling or drink coffee.-

- Coffee just dries out adrenal reserves of emergency energy, making us more tired.-

-Now thereR also unnatural extreme paranoia provoking situations like mine. Unfortunately 4me, situation so pervasive/encompassing, &18 yrs long, my natural reaction 2constant danger transcends effects of meds, needing more/more meds. It’s a viscous cycle &they blame brainwaves.-

-these people create randomly horny situations & stressful situations just 2 drag out their nonsense. The reason things happen is b/c of unnatural phenomena that is orchestrators. It’s common sense that every1, under some brain waved veil of ignorance, is failing2see.-

- ur supposed 2 have a voice of reason, a memory in ur heads of who U R. When drugs influence U, U should no what’s different. My voice of reason, my inner prayer voice, my mental reading voice is hijacked by an unknown white man or men.-

- When I get drugged, I’m not consciously able to even remember, that normally I would focus like crazy on the news and write my perspectives. It just occurred to me, this aspect of my personality, which I’m coincidentally also writing about.-

- on a similar note, when I was waiting at a doctors office, there was this slum bum eating like an animal and making noise in the waiting room. I was irritated about my 18 yr situation and aware he may be instructed to deliberately irritate me.-

-Normally, consciously, I’d think to change my seat. But I’m not conscious in that regard because of the direct or technologically empowered remote viewer in my head. So instead I sat there fuming for some time.-

-In this new 2024 culture, answer is 2 remove fuming with antipsychotics or antidepressants or benzodiazepines. My way, and the old way, used to be, was to make the conscious decision to get out of that situation by asking the troublemaker to stop or moving to a different seat.

- U as a a nation, & maybe even a threat 2 the world, R choosing 2 take the easy way of mechanical animals (thru magic waves & magic brain altering meds), instead of making conscious decisions 2 correct ur behaviors & consequently ur brain chemicals, as a result of ur choices.

- old way 2mental health, in tune w/Free Will given by God to humankind, was 2 have ur choices affect ur brain chemistry & physiology. You live a good moral life, you're anxiety free. You have heaven in your mind. -

-Otherwise you do something reckless, not thought out, like sleeping around excessively, you put urself through h*ll or anxiety or tension. Don't study when ur supposed to? You risk apprehension at time of The Test. -

-The stupid 2024 way to mental health, is to influence your choices by changing chemicals in ur brain. It's like taking Cocaine to get someone to be violent by choice.

- there are cases where its wise to change the chemicals in the brain first. But it shouldn't be to influence personality changes or choice. It should be to counter sleeplessness, jittery ambiguous speech, and such things. Never change a personality. -

-Other instance 4 chemicals is 2make 1 more open 2 "listening" 2 sageAdvice. Even potHeads R well versed in this.They smoke pot 2gain perspective or2realize nothing Matters-in a sense. @ times, people so worked up/against reason, they need 2B madeCalm 4 them 2C the light/listen.-

-orchestrators could use a lesson in humility. the top level 1's need some antidepressants/benzos 2 listen and not neaten/perfect/fix everything, & stupid youth voices who apparently think I need 2C the light, need 2B muzzled & put on antipsychotics & conditioned military style.

It just goes to show the futility with my writing, when all of you are likely brain washed. I've already talked about the chariot driver, the mind being the general, and not the body being the general and dragging the Brain. And still, while sedating me, the nonsense I see outside, while kept inside, and on TV ensues. Retards... (Ur ideas N'Ala?! S* my D*)

https://x.com/RennyJi/status/1767346920345755818

https://x.com/RennyJi/status/1758881232870318091

[tired-of-living-life]

i dont really know what to say. i have trouble opening up and talking to people. every time i talk i feel like im being judged so i end up not talking. im scared pf people. i sweat when i talk to people and i feel my heartbeat when someone asks me a question.

i also know that im in a toxic relationship but i cant leave it. im too attached and hes my best friend. but hes not healthy for me and im not for him. i know if we break up ill be more of a mess than i already am right now.

i dont trust anyone, one of the reasons why i cant open up. i always doubt if theyre telling telling the truth.

he doesnt trust me and i dont trust him.

it started when i saw how touchy he was with other girls in front of my friend and i and since then i couldnt trust him. it doesnt help that my ex cheated on me and it took me a year and a half to get over that.

i finally broke up with him after a week when we got into a big fight. he squeezed my arms so tight and was yelling at me. i had to tell him he was hurting me before he finally let go of my arm. i was tired and scared. i dont like loud noises and he was constantly yelling at me.

after 2 months we got back together.

he doesnt trust me as well because after we broke up i looked for attention from another guy he wasn’t too fond of. was it my fault?

some part of it was because i still talked to him even when broke up.

eventually i told him and he was furious but we still somehow managed to stay together.

im in a relationship without trust. how does that work?

when he goes out, im always on edge. he might be flirting with other girls or touching them how would i know if im not there with him?

a part of me wants to go out and have fun with my girlfriend but i choose to stay with him so i wont have to worry if hes out there being all touchy with girls.

a part of me doesnt enjoy the time i go out because im constantly worrying if hes out being all touchy. he has no personal boundaries and it makes everything worse.

whenever we get into a fight, i express my feelings. in some cases hes in the wrong yet he makes it my fault.

i always end up apologizing when hes the one whos in the wrong.

whenever we fight i hate it. i hate it so much to the point i dont want to feel anything. in order not to feel, i dig my nails into my arm so i can focus on that pain rather than the fight.

its draining to always have to apologize, always being blamed.

because of these constant fights, i end up not opening up to him. im closed more than ever. i result to writing my feelings down just so i wont explode.

i dont feel like myself anymore because i have become so toxic. the absence of trust makes me go crazy when i dont know what hes doing. every second hes out and im not there, i feel like im being cheated all over again. im so toxic to the point i dont want him hanging out with anyone else but me, because in that way, at least hes not cheating or being touchy with other people. that way, i dont have to overthink.

he brought up how i dont talk to him anymore. how could i? how could i talk to him knowing he’ll just blame me and it ends with me apologizing over and over again.

im tired.

he drains me but at the same time makes me feel at ease. how does that work?

at the end of the day hes my best friend and i want to make us work and i know he does too. i dont know what to do. i want to detach myself but if i do, he will too and ill just feel unloved. i dont know what to do. im so tired

all these drain me so much that im always sleeping or having trouble sleeping, none in between. i wake up tired, im in school tired, i go ti bed tired but can’t get restful sleep. i want to have energy, to be wake up happy, not feeling like im trapped in a cage.

my best friends arent too fond of my boyfriend and i always feel the strain whenever hes there in the presence of them.

i want to rewind to the time where i didnt have to overthink, to the time i was a chill girlfriend not a toxic one.

but u cant help myself when im toxic because it drives me crazy i feel so much anger, hurt and hatred boil inside me when he talks to other girls.