#essentially everyone i follow is not homophobic for. reasons such as why would i follow someone homophobic

[sneezemonster15]

🥴 in the fic naruto says sakura and ino were the prettiest girls in their class and somehow sasuke has the balls to ignore them following him around like puppies. he says hinata is really pretty lol. itachi is apparently the second prettiest after sasuke and he thinks it might be a tie between him and kakashi. gaara, neji, tsunade, tenten, kiba and lee are all apparently pretty to him too. there's this scene where he gets drunk and kisses ino, kiba, sai and lee, no internalised homophobia in sight. sasuke goes on and on about sakura and how he has a deep love for her, longs for her and feels affection for her, though he admits it's not in the way she wants. he even thinks she sees through him lol. but the really weird thing is how sasuke doesn't understand how he feels about naruto in the fic. he can admit he loves sakura in the start of the fic (and he can tell that it's not romantic on his end), but he has to have this big epiphany about loving naruto only at the end lol. and sakura obviously becomes so much more understanding lol. I think they're talented and i did enjoy reading the story, but they said they were writing everyone in character so this stuff bothered me 😞

What has always bothered me about fanfics is how they simply do not get how closetedness functions in a homophobic and heteronormative society. I don't know if the writer is American or from some other western country. But as long as you are claiming to be canon compliant, maybe actually research how homosexuality or coming out of the closet would look in societies where it is not acceptable. Konoha/shinobi world is not only heteronormative, but downright homophobic. I mean, Sakura thinks they are brothers because she doesn't know what else to call it, she is homophobic herself, and she knows Sasuke and Naruto are just way too close for being just friends, she could have told Sai they were very good friends, but one of the problems in this world is also a lack of terminology, resulting from a lack of familiarity and comfort with the topic of homosexuality but which is essentially required in order to assign names to certain feelings and relationships and dynamics that are seen as unconventional or different from the norm. Developing a certain terminology is important in order to understand interpersonal issues that are deeply embedded in the socio political fabric. You need a certain level of comfort with the idea of it to introduce and develop this terminology. I have a few gay friends in my circles and one of them has been in a long term partnership with a much younger man. The younger man is closeted and they live together, but he hasn't come out to his family or close friends. Although his family does stay over and they think their son lives with his Teacher. And they are fine with it. They are deeply conservative people and staunchly heteronormative, which is why he hasn't come out and I am pretty sure they have an idea about his sexuality, even if it is unsaid and full of obfuscation. But they don't wanna take action because being with the Teacher has been good for his career and he is able to send money to them to contribute to their household. There isn't just one reason of course, but invariably, whenever his friends or family come over, they never acknowledge their relationship even though it is so obvious. They call it a teacher student relationship who incidentally also cohabit. There's a lot of denial going in there, but it's understandable in their circumstances.

I get the feeling that they aren't totally comfortable with the idea but they are also under certain obligations themselves and they are grateful to the Teacher. But you see, the terminology is missing. There's also a major class difference.

Often in homophobic societies, and I live in one, there is so much taboo, prejudice, obfuscation and lack of information/comfort/familiarity around the idea of same sex relationships, that it's difficult to carry on a dialectic with the proper assignment of terms. Gay or homosexual is not a word anyone will use here. They will use a slang word, which denotes something derogatory. Or if they wanna deny it altogether, they will use some other word for it. Like brother or sister. Or best friend, or room mate, or Teacher. It's such a common phenomenon to reduce, invisibilise and trivialize homosexuality by giving it names that are incongruent with the actual nature of the relationship. It's almost criminal how much this invisibilisation is normalised.

I remember when I was very young, like 12 years old, I was in the car with my mother and her friend. And her friend was crying because her sister was not agreeing to marry. Marrying here invariably means heterosexual, heh, it's just a social reality. Because she had shacked up with her 'best friend', another girl, her college friend. They lived together and she would keep rejecting offers that the parents suggested to her. She was of the perfect age to marry and they were worried her golden age would pass her by and she would become a spinster, of course they blamed her best friend for it. Lol.

Now the thing is, there was a strange tonal quality to the term 'best friend' in her voice. She was weeping and I just couldn't understand why it would be a problem if her sister wanted to stay with her best friend. Lol. I thought it would be so much fun. Hahaha. I was very young. I remember asking my mother about it later and she shushed me telling me it was none of my business and not to talk to anyone about it. And it puzzled me even more.

Make no mistake, language is an inherently important and indispensable part of postulating and hence comprehending socio-politico-cultural issues and concepts, and as a result, navigating interpersonal dynamics and understanding. It's not a coincidence that this manga stresses so much on the importance of 'communication', and Naruto's character is point blank shown to stress on it, it's one of the most important lessons he learns in the course of the manga. You can't understand emotions without verbalising them in your head. Linguistics is an inseparable part of comprehension, whether it's about computing internal or external data, or both in conjunction. And when it comes to storytelling, it becomes one of the most important building blocks of expression and getting the story across to the readers or viewers. Naruto is shown to stress on communication in Boruto as well. And we see throughout the course of the Naruto and Shippuden manga, how Naruto comes to learn about and understand different characters' and especially anti heroes' feelings and resentments directed towards their dystopian world. In the kage arc, he says to Sasuke on the bridge - Sasuke, we will never be able to understand each other by words alone, we can only communicate properly by using our fists. Maybe if we can understand each other, I can change all that hate, like Iruka sensei did for me.

And yet, in the climax of Shippuden, at Sasuke's insistence, it was Naruto's words that finally resulted in Sasuke's resolution, which finally broke through to Sasuke. Because those words showed his understanding. His feelings. His love. For Sasuke.

Kishi is a well read, well informed author. It shows in his work, even the different sources he takes inspiration from, such as Monzaemon Chikamatsu and acclaimed seinen mangas. Stories and characters don't come out of oblivion.

Homosexuality having the status of taboo itself means that there will be a dearth of conversations around it, there will be a lack of normalisation around it. It will carry a weight of malignance around it, something unnatural, something dirty, shameful. There is a lot of shame attached to this topic, which explains the lack of terminology around it, or appropriate wordage around it. Calling them boyfriend or girlfriend is not so acceptable in conservative societies. Or lovers, same sex partners. 'Partners' is something that I have noticed to be more prevalent in current times around me. But it's also evident that it is vague. Purposely so. It's to minimise judgment.

And this is something I see consistently in this manga. There is so much going on throughout, as to what term to assign to this relationship between Naruto and Sasuke. Sakura calls them brothers but she knows they aren't. She is suspicious of Naruto when he says Sasuke is much better looking than Sai and then backpedaling about it. She fake smiles. Also, if she thought they were brotherly, she wouldn't have felt so threatened by Naruto. She tries to create distance between them, all to no avail sure, but she is obviously insecure about her own position in their equation. She doesn't stand anywhere in it, but she does think Naruto comes between her and Sasuke, and their special relationship threatens her intentions towards Sasuke. Similarly, Kakashi thinks it's because they are 'rivals' and tells the same thing to Jiraiya, who compares Naruto and Sasuke with himself and Oro, when Naruto and Sasuke's relationship is not really like theirs in essence. We also know that Kakashi is not the most reliable person when it comes to understanding emotional and interpersonal nuances. Just like Sai isn't, who thinks Naruto loves Sakura. Similarly, Minato tells Naruto that his 'best friend' is about to arrive on the battlefield. People in Konoha give so many names to their relationship and yet, Sasuke insists Naruto define it for him in chapter 698, because he wants to hear it from Naruto.

Naruto himself struggles so much in this regard. It always bothered me why Sasuke was not affected positively when Naruto wondered if Sasuke was like his brother. Sasuke had a brother and then, he almost as good as lost him in a way. He was certainly very fond of Naruto, if he thought of Naruto as brotherly, he should have been pleased, no? Narratively, even if he tried to deny feelings that might potentially weaken him, he is pensive or annoyed or even displeased when Naruto says they are friends or brothers. Never pleased, not even a smile. And he is capable of smiling when it comes to Naruto.

But he never does. He keeps asking Naruto to define the relationship, he isn't happy even when Naruto says they are friends. Which is why Sasuke is PUSHED, albeit with reticence, to ask - You have said that before but what does it exactly mean to you?

This is so nuanced and so understandable. He wants Naruto to assign a term to it. It's significant, it's important. A term that explains their feelings accurately so they both know. They live in a world that doesn't have the terminology to support same sex relationships, they have no frame of reference as to how to talk about it. They struggle with talking about their feelings in the first place. Their communication game is lacking. Their world only taught them how to exchange blows, not words. So a perceptive Sasuke demands a term that rightly defines it. Because 'brotherhood' or 'friendship' is not cutting it. Obviously. Naruto had been calling him a friend all this time.

Even here, the dissonance. The words Naruto uses feel incommensurate with the term 'friend' no? Like seriously what other friends in this manga act or talk like this for the other? Sasuke is his 'friend' and a bond like that can Never be broken. But we as readers, know from context that bonds of friendship were broken in this manga, what with Oro and Jiraiya or Sakura and Ino (for very frivolous reasons too), and later, with Kakashi and Obito. If there were no nuances to their relationship, I would have gladly ignored it. But then Naruto goes on to say what he would do to Oro (shivers, lol) to protect Sasuke. Like just the lengths he is ready to go to. And it fits with the idea that Naruto's feelings for Sasuke are way more intense than just friends, consistent with how they seem with each other in part one, especially vote one. Naruto dilly dallies between so many terms for Sasuke. A friend. A rival. A comrade. A brother. On the one hand, Sasuke consistently uses very emphatic terms for his feelings for Naruto when he says Naruto is his closest friend or his one and only friend, Naruto's terms for Sasuke are always a lot incommensurate with his actions towards Sasuke. And it invariably creates a dissonance in the reader's mind. Kishi manipulates the reader very successfully. Also, we all know that Kishi uses his kanji for these two characters very carefully, as he has said in his interviews as well. Apart from visuals, this is also written media, language and wordage is indispensable to storytelling.

But AT THE END, Sasuke gets mad, and asks him point blank, as to what exactly it means to him and right on cue, given this is a conclusive chapter and Naruto can't say the same shit he has been saying before this (which DID NOT satisfy Sasuke), that even if Sasuke were ask him to explain it, he doesn't know either.

He doesn't know. He has been going through the motions for such a long time. We have seen him getting insecure about his sexuality many times. Like Kishi made so many of his scenes layered, just to point it out to the reader. That he is a closeted homosexual, he suffers from comphet and internalised homophobia as a result. This panel, which is towards the very end, explains so much.

Kishi is not a fool. He is a very clever author. This depicts Naruto's struggle about his sexuality so much. He obviously wants to make sure that his LAST conversation with his father is meaningful and that everything his parents wanted Naruto to be and achieve, Naruto will satisfy. Naruto wants to assure Minato, and he doesn't wanna lie. But he also cannot make himself say it. This boy who always wanted family, finally met them through a stroke of luck (or fate) but his was still a special case. He goes into such detail about everything, everything Kushina asked him to do, all the ninja taboos, but he broke down at that moment, about women. That it should be a woman he must marry is pretty much implied no? More than implied, it's a heteronormative society after all. Kishi is NOT stupid, this was a very smart way of layering his internal turmoil, his struggle with his sexuality because he loves a BOY. Not a woman.

And thing is, all this is very realistic. Very. It has been a persistent element/trope in most coming of age films that I have seen about homosexuality. Except for films like Love, Simon (very surface level and simplistic) or 'Call me by your name' because Elio has very forward thinking parents and he lives in a very affluent and liberal society. He doesn't have the same kind of hangups about his sexuality. But films like Esteros (Brazil), Eternal Summer (China), Beach Rats (America), Giant little ones (Canada), Posledice (Polish), And then we danced (Georgia), The Blonde one (Argentina), Brokeback Mountain (America), Free Fall (German) and more, all of these films are about sexual coming of age drama or sexual awakening and have the same tropes. Comphet. Denial. Internalised homophobia. Emotional turmoil. Dilemma. Burden of societal expectations. Pain. Misery. Confusion. Even rage.

And these are really good films too. Very thoughtfully made.

There are so many complex facets to homosexuality and coming to terms with or even acknowledging it is such a complex and difficult process for young, naturally insecure, and dilemma ridden (moral dilemma included) individuals in a conservative society. Naruto always wanted to be acknowledged and not shunned from society, he didn't want to be ostracized, not after everything he went through, and certainly not to disappoint his parents. In fact, kage arc was very definitive for Naruto. But throughout Shippuden, he has been going through the motions. When Sai seems like he has defected to Oro, Team Kakashi, Yamato specifically, confronts him, and Naruto is like - Who cares what he has to say, Sai is a traitor.

He has strong feelings about Konoha.

But when he hears about Sasuke joining Akatsuki, he is worried. Puzzled, in a quandary. So many people, people he likes and respects, tell him to make the right decision, it being to capture or kill Sasuke. But he cannot do it. He goes through a very terrible time, he is wracked with worry and conflicting emotions and internal struggle. He takes his time to come to terms with all his emotions. And then finally, when he hears that Sakura is out to kill Sasuke (lolol, sorry couldn't help it), something snaps in place inside him and he makes his decision. No matter what, no matter what, Sasuke will not be hurt. Naruto will take care of it. The idea of Sasuke being hurt imminently makes the decision for him and it just clicks to him where his priority lies. He will not kill Sasuke. And if it comes to that, that it's between killing him and protecting Konoha, he will protect Konoha but also, die with him. He is not your typical hero in that sense. He takes the middle path. A hero would typically let go of his personal wishes for the greater good. But Naruto's personal wishes are for Sasuke to live and be happy, no matter what happens. He told Itachi that when the time comes, and if Sasuke attacks Konoha, he will make the right decision. This is his decision. The point is, he will simply not live in a world without Sasuke. He refuses. He will remain a fool and die but not live without Sasuke. He doesn't care about any fucking thing if Sasuke isn't in his life.

Kage arc made him realize that his feelings for Sasuke were bigger than being hokage and Konoha. And so he chose a path where he didn't compromise with the safety of Konoha's people and yet, didn't let Sasuke down. Sasuke must live or he will die.

So by now, Naruto certainly knows that his feelings for Sasuke are not 'normal', even if he didn't say it, but that's the feeling the reader gets. And because we know the context of shinjuu, we know it's supposed to be romantic. The idea of double suicide carries a lot of heft in South East and East Asian literature, classic and popular, whether it be Chikamatsu, the greatest Japanese dramatist who wrote almost exclusively on the subject, and South East Asian stories such as Heer Ranjha, Mirza Sahiba, Sohni Mahiwal, Sassi Punnun, etc. And these stories are part of the popular romance lore, they are extremely popular.

So when Sasuke asks him angrily and insistently (the kanji that Kishi uses here depicts Sasuke to be emphatically triggered), Naruto knows what Sasuke is referring to and he knows he cannot lie about it. But he also cannot say it. He has a lot of responsibilities on his shoulders. But he also cannot lie to Sasuke. Of course, this being shounen, Kishi also had to navigate carefully. But the BIG difference is that Naruto stops lying. Lying probably is not the right term. Misstating. He owes it to Sasuke to tell him the truth. And he tells him, that he doesn't know what to call it, but he knows how it feels. So what he essentially does is that he explains the underlying sentiment to Sasuke by telling him that he hurts when Sasuke does, but that he won't name (explain it) it because he doesn't know it himself. It's such a feeling that Naruto cannot name it. Now, we as readers ALREADY know that he has already used terms like brother, rival and friend. But he deliberately moves away from all of those. Let's not forget that Naruto's most important strength was his talk no jutsu, his ability to connect and put it in words that finally affected the antagonist or anti hero archetypical characters in such a way, that would lead to their resolution. Naruto is different from others in this very sense, to be able to communicate in the right way. But Sasuke was his greatest test in this manga. And he couldn't convince him, he kept misstating the nature of their relationship, but towards the climax of the story, it was important for him to say the right words to Sasuke, especially after Sasuke asked so insistently, so passionately. Because he owes it to Sasuke to tell him the truth. He cannot deny it anymore. Not after all that has happened. So we know from context that it isn't any of those terms or feelings that he used before. But it's something else altogether. What else could it be? Sasuke obviously suspected it. Or else he wouldn't have gotten triggered like this. And with exactly these heavily heartfelt words of Naruto's, when he tells Sasuke that he hurts when he sees Sasuke carry his burden, so much that he just can't leave it alone, and that he would keep fighting for Sasuke, no matter what it takes, Sasuke is finally, finally also led to his resolution, no? He says with such a peaceful expression on his visage - I have lost.

He finally accepts Naruto's love, he finally lets the love in.

Dialogue is very intricately linked to narrative and visual language, but it's so evident, it doesn't need to be said.

We also cannot ignore the way they speak to each other. Kinda like, in codewords.

When two world class shinobis trade blows, they can read each other's thoughts. So tell me, did you see what's in my heart Sasuke? How I really feel? We are not the same kids who fought here once, you know my heart, and I yours, right Naruto? If you know, then why are you doing it? That's exactly why i am doing it. Don't make me repeat it Sasuke, you already know, don't you? Now that I think about it, you were always stupid. Those feelings, those things you once talked about, now I understand what you meant by them, Naruto.

The point is, by the end of chapter 698, Sasuke knows Naruto loves him. Naruto also knows Sasuke loves him, he had known to a large extent since vote one, but his feelings got solidified as he went along his life journey. This is the resolution of this story, this is also a story about their coming of age. It wouldn't make sense for both of them to be oblivious of each other's feelings at the end of it, it will be a failure of both their painfully developed character arcs and the narrative itself. And 698 highlights how they both come to know about their feelings for each other, after so much that they both went through. Properly this time. Explained in more words that they were ever able to use before. This isn't a topic that they can talk about so freely. They don't have a terminology for it, but they somehow managed. This is what all this narrative development led to. This is how storytelling works.

Chapter 699 gives the reader a hint of what's to come after this resolution. The nightmare. Everything that went wrong. Everything that left the resolution of their character arcs awry. Not meaningless but certainly disparate. Naruto and Sasuke talk to each other like they have talked more about what transpired with them in 698. And both have come to a position where they are going to capitulate to the circumstances.

Because at the end of the day, they are shinobis. The motto of a shinobi is to endure. Shinobi is a well established phenomenon, it's not just meant for shounen or otaku. They are real. Not like Naruto world ninjas, but Naruto obviously takes its inspiration from this phenomenon. The implications of being a shinobi is very well established in the story itself. Kishi made Naruto to deviate from its conventional meaning from the start so he was written as very unlike a ninja, loud, visible and non conformist, at least initially and for the most part, except towards the end. Shinobis/ninjas are supposed to endure. Following are screenshots from an acclaimed Japanese ninja series of films called Shinobi no mono.

Happiness and pride are not for the ninja. He doesn't live for himself. He lives for others. A collective is more important than the individual. He is born in darkness and he will die in darkness. He is literally a tool. That's what a shinobi is, from a modern ethical understanding, which is valid.

But Kishi couldn't have shown a happy ending for the boys, not with the sequel that essentially required their capitulation to this world to be able to make the new gen happen. The ending has shades of existentialist themes, which are pretty much present throughout what with the cycle of hate and revenge and infinite tsukuyomi, but that the manga ended it on the same note doesn't come as surprising does it?

Kakashi, a loyal, unawakened and complacent slave of the system climbs the rungs of power and becomes the hokage. Suck up to the right people and you will get places. Top administrative power. And he never really changed, he tells Sasuke at the end that it was because of his and Naruto's efforts that he didnt end up in jail and then proceeds to tell him to be good and careful not to regress, but still never acknowledged his mistreatment and insensitivity to Sasuke's feelings and motivations and very valid reasons. Sakura expected Sasuke to apologise and repent when it was she who was clearly in the wrong, who never understood him. She keeps pulling the same shit she always does, neither her nor Kakashi are made to pay consequences for their actions, instead, they get rewarded. Itachi is venerated, his truth is still hidden and Uchiha clan never got justice or even vindication, given they never summoned the kyuubi, its secret still being kept under the shadows.

( *Note - Nobody start with me as to how it was the right thing to do, you do NOT want to get me started there because you don't know what you are talking about. )

And how will any vindication happen when the world they live in doesn't really celebrate individuality? In fact, supresses it. It was funny to me when Bee reprimanded his brother telling him he was not his tool, that he was an individual who couldn't be suppressed but then Darui tried to convince himself that he was Raikage's left hand (or right) and that he wasn't a tool. Heh. Sarutobi is still revered as the ideal leader, when he himself admitted his complicity in Uchiha massacre, Tobirama was glad Uchihas were shown their place, and Oro, the outlier, the one who is objective because his reasons are revolutionary in his own desensitized way, a result of this heartless corrupt system that gives birth to undesirables like him, who collects other undesirables, the wretched, outliers and rejects, and makes his own village, is shown to be under surveillance, but he supported the war effort crucially, deviating from his objectives (even if only because of his interest in Sasuke and not because of the village), so he gets his redemption. So does Kabuto. Neji dies as a slave, something he was determined to fight against, and Hinata got her win, she got rewarded when she didn't work for it even a little bit. But she is rich, from a major clan, an heiress. A princess. The daimyos were shown as entirely privileged, uncaring and blasé about the war, carefree, playing cards or whatever, while the shinobis that were guarding them grumbled but then just accepted their fate, to the way of this world. Because that's what happens, doesn't it? It's very realistic.

Kishi didn't write his world as an ideal world. He essentially wrote it as a dystopian world. And his influences are pretty much based on dystopian ideas themselves, featuring major existentialist themes. Ghost in the shell, Jin-Roh, The Matrix, Berserk. Including introspective films about xenophobia and socio political inequality such as District 9 and Elysium. Same director. The part where seeing Itachi's predicament that greatly affected his own and his entire clan's, Sasuke is moved to think of fundamental questions such as - What is village, what is shinobi, what is the purpose of it all? underlines his existentialist despair. His answer to it did not come out of the blue. Like many fans think. But he was written to give up his goals entirely.

And Naruto. Well Naruto said goodbye to Sasuke. He gave Sasuke his hiatiate back. And this boy, who moved the sky and earth to bring Sasuke back, bid him goodbye with a certain meditative, contemplative stance. But not unhappy. Not his usual chirpy self. Not his usual spirited, chatty and loose tongued self. But introspective, pensive. Like they had reached a decision together. Later on, he married someone like Hinata and took a job that killed his spirit. Don't even think he isn't paying for his loyalty for Konoha, where he had to kill all his individuality and murder his zest for life and adventure, and become another cog of this unforgiving, relentlessly cruel world. Lifeless and eternally tired. A colourless husk of his older self. He couldn't even bother to attend his own hokage ceremony.

Kishi is not an ultra leftist, even though I can see he understands left ideologies, appreciates it quite well, and no wonder, Sasuke was partially inspired by Sanpei Shirato's Sasuke. He wrote Sasuke's character with such nuance and veritable shades, the claim that he is some ultra nationalist is empty. He is also not a fascist. Because if he were, the end of it all would have been shown as a reward. A prosperous haven. The best outcome of all possibilities. Your reward for loyalty. That is always the conclusion of the right wing narrative. Kishi is a realist. He appreciates existentialist themes, Japan can be credited with coming up with a whole library full of existentialist literature, as a result of the aftermath of war and the generational trauma can be seen and felt viscerally in the themes of their stories. Stories about meditation on war and the nature of war, the after effects of war, the human ethos behind them. Existentialism as a theory and way of life itself became quite a thing post war even if the theory itself was introduced before it, because it reflected what the war did to people, how it affected them, what it did to their psyches and thought processes. How certain things/ideas/thoughts/beliefs that carried social and moral value for them were rendered immaterial.

Anyway. Sasuke says - I didn't think you would come to see me off.

Naruto says nothing. This hyperactive goofball of ready words and catchphrases and nicknames just haltingly handed him back his slashed hitaiate.

The ending is - Perhaps this is what makes us ninjas.

Yes it does. Ceaselessly enduring pain and grief while giving up personal and individual wishes and desires and need for justice and their individuality does make them ninjas.

Continuing the status quo does make them ninjas. Nothing really changed, nothing really mattered. There's a certain melancholic quality to this scene. Which feels different in terms of tone and pacing, doesn't it?

Regardless, it's tragic.

Naruto is different in this scene in chapter 699. I think they have already discussed it by this point. And I think they have already come to some conclusions. What exactly did they talk about, we will never know. And I would give Kishi a lot of my money and a big part of my prized possessions, including my time, to know.

But well.

Now to come to what this ask was about, lol, I have yet to come across a fanfic that does justice to them, their story and narrative. Of course, it would be unrealistic to expect that everyone would get it, but is it unrealistic that at least someone should get it?? If I can see it and others can too, can't writers do something with this? This is such rich material, with so freaking much potential. There are so many possibilities, writers can use these themes creatively. And these are mostly my condensed thoughts, I will probably go in more detail some other day. And honestly, it takes some research, sure. But don't writers put some research in it anyway?

But they go for the easy route. It's okay, that they write what they like, but at least don't call it canon compliant. Most fans don't even understand canon. Give yourself some more credit, there's so much to discover.

At the end of the day, whenever I read some fic, unless it is supposed to be light hearted, it mostly just ends up disappointing me. Especially the ones that are based in canon universe.

This fic shows Naruto as an oblivious idiot when he is more perceptive than most fans think. He understands a lot of things, he is not a doofus, he is much more experienced at the end of the manga, he is aware of some realities and he is only going to learn more. And more. He understands his own emotions. Towards Sasuke as well. Sasuke is also shown as someone who doesn't even understand that he is attracted to Naruto when he has almost always known he was. Why else would he give up his life the way he did in land of waves? Gaara, btw, is perhaps one of the very few people who understand loneliness and being ostracized. Just him, Sasuke and Naruto, more prominently in this manga. He didn't attack Sasuke in kage arc, he could have. He is also perceptive enough to know that Naruto loves Sasuke, he also understands it better than Lee, who is a simplistic character, who thinks bad people's deeds are bad. Gaara understands that loneliness and hatred can drive people to do things they otherwise wouldn't. He resonated with Sasuke. He understood his predicament. and Naruto's. Which is why he said what he said to Naruto in kage arc. I love his character and I wish more people understood him. I swear if I could have broken the screen and picked small Gaara up when his salve got rejected by that child, I would have and I would have run....far.

Ino is portrayed as carefree and confident, sure. But I dont think she would be so fine with Sasuke being gay. She, till the end, was a Sasuke fangirl. There's absolutely no indication that she would have been fine with homosexuality. Nor would have others. Konoha presents a very bleak prospect for Sasuke and Naruto's relationship to be accepted.

I know this is a lot to take. And I know not everyone cares so much. But calling it canon compliant or 'in character' when it certainly is NOT, is taking it too far. Let's try a bit more. No?

Oh and I also didn't care about their intimate scenes. Because Naruto and Sasuke, once they get going, I think it would be like a bloody dam breaking off. It would start slowly, tentatively but then, it would burst out. And it would be unstoppable. I am talking years of repression here. Emotional and sexual. And more importantly, they trust each other all the way. I don't think tsunami would be able to stop them. It would be instinctive and natural, like everything else with them is. They might fumble and break stuff but more than anything else, it would be a desperate need to join together, to meld together, to finally be with each other as they were meant to be. They, who couldn't even touch without the pretext of a spar or a battle, if they finally allowed themselves to touch each other, it will be like a torrential force of emotions that would leave them scorched and they won't be satiated until their need to touch and reassure themselves, that it was finally happening, that they can finally touch each other, that they can HOLD each other, without feeling guilty or tabooed, that they can fuse their bodies with each other, to find not just emotional but physical reassurance, would come alive and transformed. They would run ragged. It would be passionate and tender and emotionally overwhelming, it would break barriers and boundaries, it would be a Godly experience for both. Like finally feeling at home. To be finally able to find that refuge in each other that only they could provide each other, in a world where no one else could even understand. It would be magnificent and insane and gentle and teasing and loving and sweet and painful and violent. All the damn shades. They aren't like you or me. They are different, because they are them. And no one can compare. But I can imagine.

#okay this went on as well #yall make me write too much lol #sns #ask #anon #sasunaru #narusasu #sasuke #naruto #uchiha sasuke #uzumaki naruto

[queen-mabs-revenge]

OK so first of all i am not a nate-needs-to-mortify-his-flesh-to-be-redeemed girlie so fucking jot that down. i don't think he needs to grovel, i don't even think we need an extended boo hoo apology scene for anyone involved. nate's story is about reconciliation with himself and others through real self-esteem and contentment, not about whatever christian penance brainrot ppl are coming up with.

but i am fucking baffled by that opening scene with isaac, colin and will visiting nate at work and how -- yet again -- really essential character beats are just happening off screen and we're supposed to be super chill and emotionally swept along by it all?

(long ass v critical post under the cut)

"we want you to come back to richmond" uhhhhhhhhhh "the whole team talked about it and it was unanimous" …….?????????????? like besides the fact that there is literally no established tactical reason why the team feels that they need nate to come back considering they're pretty fucking successful at the moment, the show has given us no reason to believe that would be a decision made by a team that is and needs to be protective of its current interpersonal dynamic!

now again, i want to be very fucking clear as i go through the following that i don't think that nate is homophobic and i'm not accusing him of that, and again i'm not here like 'oh colin needs an uwu special apology'. but lay out the facts as far as the players know (because that's all that's been on screen): nate tore up the sign and ~~someone~~ exposed information about ted's panic attacks to the press - they're himbos but i mean come on. the last interactions between nate and the team - and especially colin - were pretty targeted cruelty and belittlement laced with misogynistic language (that yes, has been used pretty casually throughout the dressing room - not just a nate thing), and then nate goes to work for a club owned by the man who fostered the toxic swamp richmond was to begin with? bro. bro.

literally my first thought was -- how is colin eager to invite someone back who - as far as he knows - clearly very personally hates him, and has leaked information about someone he supposedly liked and respected that he was told in confidence to cause targeted harm to that person… when he just came out within a trusted organization with no intention of coming out publicly??? like no matter how this show tries to shorthand that everything is OK now, because they put no work into reestablishing trust… there is no way colin would take his safety as 100% guaranteed in this situation, and him being the person to insist on talking to nate doesn't shorthand that away!!!

like for me, this mismatch stands out as some fucking straight nonsense again bc you cannot use the horrifically queerphobic atmosphere in and around professional men's football irl for your very special episode and then just never address the personal vindictiveness involved in the character dynamic that was created between nate and colin previously, especially in the face of seeding the idea that someone would be afraid to come out to their trusted best friend because of the 1% chance the casual homophobia they tossed around was indicative of their actual beliefs.

and like ok the tendency of this show to just use experiences that reflect stuff of incredible real life consequence without considering the context or implications is already established. i get it. but like this is just another example of how by not actually engaging with the full consequences of the experiences they're capitalizing on, they've not done justice to any of the characters or representative stories involved.

the reconciliation between nate and the team had such great potential to bring out everyone's issues and have a real chewy resolution! nate getting tossed back into the rupertsphere and seeing the manipulative bullying inherent to rupert's concept of power, and consequently really understanding how that created the environment mirrored in the team's treatment of him, and how he held on to that concept of power and mirrored it back in vindictiveness.

maybe if they brought forward the bex and ms. kakes story to play out earlier (during one of these insanely bloated episodes), and if nate is tied in with letting them both know what was happening with rupert, the two women going to rebecca for advice could have been something that one of the players found out about (idk overhearing rebecca asking keeley for press/legal advice while passing her office or smth). that could have precipitated a conversation among the team that we were actually privy to about how nate stood up to rupert, put whole ass career on the line to protect people being deeply wronged instead of cozy up to power, and did it without publicly Exposing Their Business in order to get public kudos.

that conversation could have been the perfect way to get the team to understand nate's growth from what he did to ted by revealing and having them work through the implications of nates willingness to put protecting people from being harmed above his own need for power and validation, while also protecting their privacy and not seeking public validation at their expense! colin could have had a part in that conversation that both brought his queerness back into the story as something of actual consequence and not just a token feel-good moment, and it could have showed why the team would trust nate enough to hold a vote to ask him to come back to richmond while also showing the audience that the team has truly grown from its unhinged emotional reaction during the west ham match, and not just because they lost a game bc of it!

like idk man this just isn't good enough for me. this whole thing just isn't good enough for me, especially because they've made the implications and the stakes so fucking high by bringing in the incredibly consequential social issues they have. nothing feels earned, and everything feels cheap and flimsy because of it! everything from the journey we deserved to go on with all of these characters, to the seriousness and respect with which the show has treated the experiences they've profited off of, to the patronizing chintz of the last minute emotion-bombs being tossed to us as good enough wallpaper over the structural cracks we're meant to ignore.

#ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso critical #ted lasso #trying this again bc it's not being allowed in the tags so if you've seen this twice no you didn't

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

seeing ppl post about international asexuality day is an interesting one for me

asexuality is a bit of a weird sexuality (in my experience) in that a lot of people just do not understand what it means so ppl putting stuff on their insta story or whatever is like a big glowing sign saying not only do i understand what your sexuality means but i’m completely accepting and supportive of it too and that is just. very comforting.

#like a lot of ppl on the internet certainly know what it means #but less so people irl (again. in MY experience. not saying that's a universal experience) #i woke up today and said i was only gonna look at insta for 10 mins bc i have stuff to do before my 9am class #and i did. but i saw two posts during that time about the day (i didn't even know that was a thing. it was yesterday here technically) #and it's just. very nice. to me anyway #essentially everyone i follow is not homophobic for. reasons such as why would i follow someone homophobic #so seeing anyone i follow support the queer community is like !! :) #but this is just a little different it's more like !!!!!! this is a safe person to come out to with my ace identity if i ever wanted to #bc i am pretty openly queer except w/ family but the ace side of my identity is something i'm a little more hesitant with #(there's a reason but you know. long story) #so it's just. nice. #anyway #i'm actually gonna go do the stuff i had to before class now skjsdkfjsd

[khaleesiofalicante]

While a positivity blog is great, posing it in opposition with the "call-out" blog immediately devalues it. The one person who was called out on that account (the original one) was an adult sexualizing teenagers who blocked anyone who tried to tell her that what she was doing was harmful. It makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors.

There's no way to "communicate" with someone who blocks anyone who tries to "call" them "in". a call out is a statement that this type of behavior isn't acceptable and a promise to make the fandom a safer space for teenagers.

I asked very respectfully not to send me follow up questions on this matter. Because this whole "call out" thing had been weighing on my mental health.

But once again, I keep getting dragged into this.

This my response to every ask I've gotten regarding this matter over the last few days. The asks I've been ignoring because it's not my place to give an opinion on this. Or rather, I do not have to. I don't have an obligation to do so.

But here we are.

The very reason I find the call out blog problematic is because of a sentence you said in your ask.

You mentioned that because I find the call out blog problematic and I quote "it makes it seem like you're trying to support adults who sexualize minors."

This is the problem.

The call out is not the problem. It's the way in which they are being called out.

Over the last few days, I've seen tsc blogs, for the lack of a better word, being "investigated". Posts dug from the past, follower lists analysed, screenshots posts and shared in public.

This is not a call out. A call out refers to interpersonal confrontations occurring between individuals on social media. In theory, call-outs should be very simple – someone does something wrong, people tell them, and they avoid doing it again in the future.

Now I understand you mentioned an individual refused to listen. I will not comment on that - since I do not know this individual personally or how they reacted. I do not prefer to talk about people I don't know personally. Neither the people calling them out - or the person being called out.

But what I can tell you is that when you call out someone, it only works when you point out why they are wrong, not what what they are doing is wrong. So, instead of calling someone a pedophile, it is essential to explain how their behaviour impacts you or your peers. It is important to address this issue in the larger fandom, not just by spamming one person's ask box. Because this issue is greater than one blog.

The reason why I don't condone this call out blog is because it is so easily possible to get carried away and overpunish people, turning alleged perpetrators of upsetting acts into victims themselves. The moral high ground people stand on evolves from calling out to public shaming of individuals.

I am requesting this entire fandom to rethink your actions and to reevaluate your choices. All of you.

It breaks my heart that you would say that I support adults who sexualise minors when have spent my whole adult life protecting children from such people. It is literally my job.

I recently saw one of my dearest friends being called "homophobic" because they support Jace - because Jace 'outed' Alec and therefore those who support Jace are also homophobic. It really hurt because I know the struggles my friend had to go through in order to protect themselves from their own homophobic family.

It makes me so sad and yet so angry that you are not aware of the consequences your words have on people.

People who make such claims. You seem to forget that we live in a digital world now. You all seem to forget that we are living through a pandemic. We study online. We work online. We entertain ourselves online.

So when you shame people online so callously, it can affect irreparable damage on their professional lives. It can ruin their mental health. It can impact their families.

While the intention of the callout blog - and those who support it - might be honest, the way in which they are achieving their goal is incredibly harmful for people in this fandom regardless of whether they are guilty or not.

I want to point out that this call out blog achieves nothing. It doesn't root out the pedophilia and sexism that exists on Tumblr - or in the fandom. The call out blog does't achieve anything. I'm sorry. It had to be said. The only thing this blog achieve is spreading a culture of shame, fear and stigma in the tsc fandom.

So, I urge you to rethink your actions and reevaluate your methods.

I do not believe in giving bland advice. So, as someone who works on these issues, allow me to point you in an healthier and more effective decision.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

If the goal is "a promise to make the fandom a healthier space for teenagers" then you are doing it wrong. I say this as someone who works on creating healthy spaces for teenagers. It's up to you whether you want to listen to me or not.

But you are going about it wrong. Here is what you can do instead.

1. What we are doing wrong? Currently, you seem to be focusing on the people - not the issue. If you want to make the space feel safe, you need to address the root cause. What differentiates a call-out from bullying is that it shouldn’t be about punishing someone for something they have done, rather it should be about establishing a new pattern of behavior. In other words, when someone calls you out they want you to start showing through your actions that you care about the issue you’ve been called out on. So, show that you care about the issue.

2. How do we show we care? Focus on the teenagers. You are focusing on the wrong group of people. Cancelling out someone or calling out a blog or getting someone to deactivate is not going to make teenagers feel safe. Trust me on this. You need to address the issue to the victims. You need to ASK THEM how they want to be feel safe. While your method might work for you, it might not be what everyone wants. It might not make everyone feel safe. So, talk to your peers. What is it that you can do for your own community? Is it writing an email to CC about this issue in the fandom? Is it addressing it in a larger platform like a magazine or YouTube? Is it reaching to Tumblr and talking to them about doing their job and enforcing the community guidelines efficiently? THIS is how you fix the problem - not by chasing people out when you find them to be problematic.

3. Why are you complicating this? Why can't we just call people out? Because then you will only be addresing the symptoms, not the root cause. I understand that most of you are minors and therefore will not have the same awareness about how the system works or don't ahem access to same resources and opportunities we adults do. But unfortunately, it is our reality. We all live online. We all need to educate ourselves and do better.

I'm sharing an excellent resource here which was developed by UN WOMEN in 2021 to speficially tackle the issue of bullying, disinformation and hate speech experienced by youth - especially young women. It's a free online course that helps you learn this topic better. It even gives you a certificate from the organization.

I am ALL for calling people out as long as you do it the right way. So, if you want to be a warrior on Tumblr, if you want to protect your peers, if you want to create a safe space, you need to learn how to do it the right way. Otherwise, like most social activists, you are doing more bad than good. Your attempts to create a better world only lead to more chaos and pain.

4. I still don't understand. Then here is a simply answer. I hope this helps.

Please make better choices. Be conscious of how your actions online affect people both in digital and offline spaces.

You are allowed to fight for your safety. You are allowed to fight for your rights. But you are not allowed to hurt another person to prove your point. Then your whole initiative becomes counterproductive.

You need to be more aware. You need think more critically.

Finally and most importantly - I once again ask that you do not drag me into this. I am not the president of this fandom. I am not your parent. While it is my job to create awareness and work on online safety, I am not on tumblr to be an activist. This is my safe space. This is my comfort space. This is where I come to take my mind off all the stressful and heartbreaking things I have to work on as an activist. I am here to shit post like most people. I do not have to teach you to be decent or how to be sensible or how to be kind. That is the job of the education system and your family.

I'm sorry those around you have failed you and it has come to this. I only hope you do not fail yourself.

Make better choices.

Love, Dani.

#tsc fandom #tsc #cyber bullying

[rainbowsky]

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

#fan fiction #fandom reflections #top bottom #ask

[pinkjiminssi]

So.. About That Hickey..

I think I’m still processing all of this and reminding myself I’m not dreaming 🤣 I seriously only got 3 hours of sleep last night and when I woke up the first thing I did was check twitter to be sure this “drunk bridal-style spinning hickey neck biting proudly showing off” moment actually happened!! 

.. I hate the way my brain works though. I was so happy that it took me forever to fall asleep, spent all day on cloud 9 despite being tired, .. and then my old nemesis, anxiety, stepped in. Well kind of. TBH if all of the MOTS ON:E Jikook moments we got happened with Jimin/anyone else or Jungkook/anyone else.. I would seriously be sitting here saying “well fuck.. I believe they WERE a couple, but looking at all of this it seems they are no longer together.” So really, this just confirmed what I already knew about Jimin and Jungkook: they’re a couple. My anxiety is over.. why? Why show us this? If they can cover all of JK’s tattoos, a hickey/bite mark/whatever we’re calling it should be super easy to hide. Sure it was just rehearsal.. but it was rehearsal with cameras rolling with every intention of releasing what was being filmed as future content. It could have (and some might argue should have) been covered.

Guys... I’m confused. And concerned. ❗❗❗ TW for drama, hate, homophobia, the usual anti issues

That “official” explanation.. again.. why? I’m assuming Jimin and Jungkook were asked and allowed to explain because of the chance of it being spotted and armys freaking out, so BH (or possibly even Jikook) thought to get ahead of the speculation by just being up front about it all.. but THAT explanation? I suppose it works for covering up the army panic of “Jungkook has a girlfriend?! *insert fangirl sobbing*” .. but that’s literally all it does (and only barely if you go looking at some of the anti’s reactions to it all). Really, all it did was draw even more attention and speculation. I mean.. this is, essentially, what we were told: Jimin and Jungkook were together the night before drinking, apparently without the other members as they didn’t seem to know all of this already (and they would have if they had been there), somehow hanging out and having drinks turns into Jungkook picking Jimin up bridal style (random but some of the k-army reactions on twitter were translating through google into “princess style” and I just think that’s so cute 🥰), spinning ensues, Jimin gets dizzy and wants Jungkook to put him down, ... and so he proceeds to do the only logical thing that any of us would have done in that situation... biting Jungkook’s neck? And hard enough to leave a mark the next day?? And instead of being peeved about it (like most of us would have been if our friend bit the crap out of us), Jungkook looks happy?? proud even??? 

And they arrived together the next day and continue to be cute and playful? 

I just.. I mean.. come on. First of all.. that’s a hickey. A bite leaves teeth marks. And one would assume a wild, drunken “let me down” chomp would be something that happens suddenly and ends very quickly. I know I for sure would drop someone on their ass if they decided to take a bite out of my neck (assuming I was even picking up and spinning around with one of my friends like that to begin with.. but let’s not even get into why that was going on at this point) .. but the way this bruised? Yeah. There were no teeth involved (at least not hard enough to leave indentations) and this took more than a couple of seconds of mouth-to-neck contact to still be that visible the next day. So.. in short. Jungkook arrives with a hickey, JK decides to not cover it up (or he would have shown up with it hidden and we see him get out of the car that morning with it clearly visible), BH staff sees it and also decides to not have it covered up and actually have it explained... and the explanation is “oh yeah Jimin just bit him, you know.. no big deal hehehe isn’t that funny?” 🤯 WHAT?! Yeah.. that’s totally normal, platonic behavior between adults...

I’m not saying Jimin and Jungkook are lying btw. I have no doubt it played out more or less exactly as they said with the exception of what they’re calling the end result. Jimin and Jungkook are fine.. I mean, what were they supposed to say? They’re not going to show up saying Jimin was sucking on Jungkook’s neck the night before. We’ll probably never know why Jungkook decided to not cover it up before arriving, but it’s his body and he gets to decide. It’s BH that has me so puzzled. Other than antis and people who refuse to see what’s literally right in front of their faces when it comes to Jikook.. who were BH expecting to believe the bite thing? Just among staff and the other members, it’s a laughable but safe “oh of course *wink wink*” explanation that allows everyone to carry on like normal. But to the public who don’t know them personally, don’t know their usual behavior and patterns, and who don’t have something like a non-disclosure agreement or professional courtesy preventing them from openly speculating.. it doesn’t fly. Pretty much everyone teen and up knows what a hickey looks like (either from having gotten/given one or at least seeing one on someone else in person or online). It’s immediately obvious what it is. And even if there was some uncertainty.. that it’s on his neck (instead of other easily accessible and less sensitive/stimulating locations) and just so happens to be right near his mole as it Jimin were aiming for it? Just another “too many coincidences” thing when it comes to Jikook.

Even antis on twitter couldn’t deny what it was and, so, had to resort to the “well I do that with my sibling and my uncle’s pet raccoon all the time it’s just family things” excuse and/or the “yeah well someone ELSE in the group (or a girlfriend) gave him that and they’re just covering by saying it was Jimin.” Oh. And the same old “it’s just fan service” excuse (as if Jungkook would let someone bruise his neck for the purposes of fanservice which, again, BTS has never done or needed to do. Forever pissed off that so many in this fandom act like Jungkook is a puppet doing whatever the “evil company” tells him to do regardless of his personal feelings or boundaries. The man has tattoos covering nearly every inch of his arm despite that being looked down on in Korea. At this point he can do whatever the fuck he wants). So.. why?? Seriously, why? This all could have easily been avoided with simple makeup.

When they’re doing official content they’re all literally followed around by a flurry of staff fixing hair, dabbing sweat, touching up makeup, etc. Even though it was rehearsal, staff were everywhere in the footage that’s made its way online. If they were worried that it would be seen in the background and “taken the wrong way,” just have the staff occasionally touch up the makeup. “Easy peasy lemon squeezy.” But instead of doing the obvious, BH decides to: not cover it, draw attention to it by asking about it and letting them continue to talk about it, go out of their way to get a camera on it, and then include it in the final cut of the content they sent out?

BTS is literally the most popular group in the world right now and BH has become a behemoth of a company that runs like a well-oiled machine. They’re not stupid; this was not a mistake. For some reason they wanted us to see this and, one would assume based on the lack of a more believable explanation, they wanted us to come to the conclusion that we all have: Jimin gave Jungkook a hickey. You know they have teams dedicated to monitoring reactions to content on social media. You know they know the dialog surrounding Rosebowl, Black Swan MMA, the Memories 2020 “almost kiss,” etc. etc. All of this got “jikook,” “hickey” and variations of their names trending for HOURS (in multiple countries and worldwide). 

Out of curiosity, I decided to check the trends at the time of writing this. As of 3 AM CST (about 24 hours AFTER the clips started showing up online), there was still a hashtag trending related to all of this: #FREEJUNGKOOK.. and the tweets being directed toward BH are.. disturbing to say the least:

While I agree that the boys should trend more often based on their talents and music.. what’s going on right now is a homophobic 💩 show accusing BH of “scripting” interactions (rather than.. you know.. Jungkook interacting with whoever he wants however he wants.. the usual “mindless puppet JK” narrative), trying to coordinate the mass sending of angry emails, trying to get people to stop buying paid content, accusing BH of taking advantage of the members.. I mean it goes on and on. And BH know what’s going on right now. They’re seeing the reactions... the good and the extremely negative. And still they let this out. And this is all not even CONSIDERING the mountain of other moments that made the cut on MOTS ON:E. 

(side note, the above pic just oozes happiness and it’s so cute I love it!! 😭)

So.. even though I’ve said it dozens of times already... WHY? W H Y? I’m an anxious person by nature and not very trusting. I believe Jimin and Jungkook and I don’t think they’ve been lying and pretending for “fanservice” all of these years. I respect them both too much as individuals and artists to believe that they would stoop to such tactics just to generate a little more “interest” and revenue. I’m suspicious of BH. BTS doesn’t need fanservice to get attention; literally all of 2020 and 2021 so far has proven that beyond a doubt. Even if they suddenly made the decision to do fs.. why not go with the most popular ship (taekook) or at least one that isn’t so hotly debated on social media (remove Jimin, Jungkook and Tae from the equation and you still have four members to “play” with who have much less potential to have fs devolve into a toxic crap show all over the internet). Showing us this will do nothing to help BTS as a group or Jimin and Jungkook at this point. In fact.. all it can do is hurt. Hurt BH, hurt the group, and hurt the individual members, heck.. even potentially hurt other BH/HYBE groups. I’ve already seen people on twitter saying they’re “done” spending money on anything BH or BTS puts out because they’re “sick of jikook in their faces and just two of the seven hogging all of the screen time.” Whether or not that “spending freeze” actually materializes into anything noticeable remains to be seen of course.. but the threat is there and always has been. What is the motive? And why now? As much as my “hopeless romantic” heart would like to believe they’re preparing us for Jikook to be “out” .. I seriously don’t think that is ever going to happen. Certainly not now at the height of the group’s fame, with them being given Presidential honors and ambassador status, and with military service still looming over them all. And let’s not forget... Korea is NOT a safe place for a queer couple. Letting us see and know what they did through what was released has the potential to put Jimin and Jungkook (and the other members by proxy) in danger. Sure.. BTS has never been hardline rule followers and have been breaking molds and shattering norms from the start, so “officially” having an openly gay couple in the group wouldn’t be impossible.. just... highly highly improbable. Especially right now... and I’m concerned. I don’t want to sound like the creeps I posted a screenshot of above throwing blame at the company. The boys chose to renew their contracts with the for a reason so we have to trust their judgement as a group... but still, I’m worried and I’m questioning what the purpose was here. 

#jikook #drama #kat thoughts #sorry for being a downer... #I'm stressed :(

[autisticandroids]

hey so you know how you said a while back that cas doesnt really have a moc/demon dean or soulless Sam equivalent but if he did he would act the same bc hes horny and loves dean?? I agree and he would just do it WAY more unabashedly. my question is, in the version of spn where the writers are smarter AND more homophobic, how would they justify cas's actions? bc they cant use the cloak of humanity bc cas doesnt give a FUCK about humanity. so what would they do

okay the thing is that cas doesn't have a demon dean/soulless sam style arc because it wouldn't... do anything? the thing about cas is that he doesn't have inhibitions in the traditional sense. like he doesn't... feel the eyes of god or society watching him.

i had a long conversation with @pietacastiel the other day about whether cas has the capacity for "should" - and he really just... doesn't. there are two things that stand in for "should" for cas - one, "if i do this, [insert other person (usually dean but not always)] will like me," and two, "[insert person who i trust and obey] has told me to do this, and i will obey their command blindly because i am a good boy."

like, basically, number one is an essentially machiavellian calculation. he's trying to be someone that other people want around, so he makes himself useful to them or enjoyable to be around or likeable or what have you. it's entirely self-serving and probably wouldn't change if you took away his inhibitions or his empathy or his conscience or whatever.

number two is like... it's too intellectual to count as inhibitions, exactly - it's explicit rules that he has set down for himself, without internalizing. to give an example, cas knows that he's not supposed to watch porn in a room full of dudes, and he's not supposed to talk about it, but he will never understand WHY those things are true. he will just obey those commands.

in terms of other ethical behavior that cas demonstrates... the thing about cas is that he's just a nice person? he's highly empathetic, he likes to make other people happy, he likes to be friends, he's a sweetheart. he genuinely wants the best for people. he particularly wants the best for his nearest and dearest. this is what's going on when he heals babies, or decides that he's not gonna kill kelly, or sacrifices his life for dean. he is fundamentally doing what he wants. he wants dean to be alive more than he wants to not be dead, you know?

this is actually one of the things that makes cas so dangerous: empathy is fickle. if the only thing that's standing between you and murdering somebody is you liking that somebody and wanting to be their friend, you might murder them once they piss you off. or once something comes up that makes them being dead more valuable to you than you being their friend. and this is why cas is kind of a terrible person! this is why he's constantly doing war crimes. he doesn't really have a system of ethics.

now, here's the thing: cas does carry around a lot of guilt, but it's deeply ineffectual. it doesn't really change his behavior towards other people. it only really does two things: first of all, it convinces him that other people hate him and don't want him around. this intensifies his desperate need to be liked, and therefore his trying to be liked, but isn't the root of it. second of all, it makes him punish himself, stuff like trying to stay in purgatory.

now, if we did a demon dean/soulless sam situation on cas... what would that look like?

well, he would certainly lose all that guilt he's carrying around, but how would that affect his behavior? the main two effects, i think, would be to make him more confident and therefore bolder in terms of trying to be liked, and make him stop punishing himself/deciding that he deserves bad things.

the confidence boost might lead to him, say, throwing himself at dean a bit more than he does, but i don't think the change would be radical. i think it would just be kicked up a notch. but it's an issue of rational judgement more than inhibitions so i think he would stay basically the same. now, cas' judgement isn't the best, and in the context of relationships at least, if nowhere else, his guilt complex does semi-effectively combat his natural tendency towards total overconfidence, so it might have some serious effect, but i still argue it's rather a matter of degrees.

and him not punishing himself so much might lead to him doing things like getting more mad when dean treats him poorly, but not that much more, because fundamentally the reason cas doesn't get mad when dean treats him badly isn't because he thinks he deserves it - he does think that, but mostly he's just scared that if he gets mad or sets boundaries dean won't like him anymore. again, it's a matter of judgement. he's probably less scared that dean won't like him anymore if he sets boundaries because the elimination of the guilt complex makes him less convinced that everyone hates him, but the anxiety is still there - it's just less intense.

in terms of cas' other sources of ethics and inhibitions - wanting to be liked, obedience, empathy - these would be affected differently if he was like soulless sam and if he was like demon dean.

if cas lost his inhibitions the way soulless sam did... he wouldn't change that much, at least in terms of his personal relationships. he would lose his capacity for empathy, which means that he would be more likely to be a dick to randos on the street, or commit war crimes, but it wouldn't really change how he conducts his relationships, because the inhibitions he holds in relationships are intellectual, they're a matter of judgement anyhow. honestly i think he might still, for example, happily die for dean, if we're arguing that soullessness comes from a lack of empathy or conscience rather than a lack of all emotion, because his desire for dean to be alive is entirely selfish. he likes the world more with dean in it and that's that. so i think soulless cas would be more likely to be a dick behind the scenes - maybe pull some godstiel arc ass shit again - but it wouldn't necessarily change his treatment of those closest to him that much.

now, a demon dean style loss of inhibitions would look different, because demon dean's basic emotions weren't dampened - he was made more selfish and hedonistic and rebellious, and didn't care about other people. interestingly, demon dean didn't seem to lose his capacity for empathy - remember in black when he punched that guy who was abusive to that girl? he didn't do that because it was the right thing to do - he did it because it felt good, because he empathized with her situation and it gave him a rush to get her out of it. so a demonized cas' empathy is intact. but his "shoulds" - those are all out of whack. he's actively rebelling against them. obviously he would simply no longer obey the ones that are like, "follow this rule and you will never know why." but he would also stop trying to be liked. i think demon cas might in fact tell dean that he's been in love with him for years - while screaming an itemized list of every fucked up thing dean has ever done to cas in his face, and telling him to never speak to him again. hell, we've seen cas throw a temper tantrum like this before - "you're not my family, dean, i have no family" in the man who knew to much. demon cas would be like that except without it then causing him to have an immediate mental breakdown.

i would argue, however, that cas has had his own loss of inhibitions comparable to demon dean and soulless sam - crazy cas. it even follows the alliteration pattern, heh. this is because cas' inhibitions are far more in his brain than his heart, and to get rid of them you need to impair his judgement, not fuck with his feelings. like, his shoulds are entirely intellectual. i want to be liked, therefore i should do this, which will effectively cause other people to like me. i want to be a good boy for god/dean, therefore i will obey this rule they gave me. if you fuck with cas' judgement, you fuck with those inhibitions. so arguably crazy cas is cas' equivalent to demon dean and soulless sam.

anyway, to answer your question, i feel like soulless cas wouldn't necessarily need a cover, like, he might, oh, i don't know, covertly arrange more opportunities to be alone with dean or stuff like that, but he's not going to try and sleep with him because he still has most of his inhibitions in tact. demon cas they might have to admit is in love with dean and then kill, because i think demon cas would probably kiss dean and then punch him and leave. you know. and crazy cas we saw in canon.

#spn #asks #anonymous

[whatiwillsay]

hey, I'm fairly new to the taylor fandom in general I have a few questions and someone told me to come here and ask you. sorry if you've been asked all of these a hundred times before lol. I did quickly look through your pinned post but don't think any of this was mentioned, I might have missed it though

so I used to follow that one infamous blog.

and some of the stuff they said sounded really unbelievable to me but I just took their word for it cause I'm still new and they'd been in the fandom for a lot longer

ok so on that blog, about dianna they say:

— she was emotionally abusive and toxic and used to find taylor's suffering funny

— she would bodyshame taylor and is the reason taylor got her boobs done

— she was cheating on taylor the whole time with one of her glee castmates

— taylor hates her now and also completely ignored her at SNL

— she never actually cared about taylor that much and was sort of just messing her around the whole time

— babe is about dianna cheating on her

do you think any of those things are actually true? I realized how biased the people on that blog are. but idk if all of the points are completely made up or if some are true or if they actually have reasons that suggest any of the points are true

ok so there is a psychotic kaylor named laine who makes all this shit up. she sends anons to ttb and ttb gleefully publishes them because she has no conscious (ttb has doxed people and outed them to coworkers and their families, simply for disagreeing with her gaylor takes and all her little minions - iwhm, 9wing, the prologues, and industry hearts are fine with it - this is one of the things that made me snap on the kaylor fandom, like genuinely they’re all disgusting and if you fuck with those blogs please do not fuck with me, they’re all nasty fucking homophobes...anyway...)

laine also trolls people’s curious cats on twitter spreading these disgusting lies about dianna (search laine on my blog and you’ll see some other psychotic shit she’s sent in)

none of that is true at all i have spoken to former coworkers of dianna’s and people in her social circle.  she is very sweet and well-loved by everyone i’ve spoken to. i know this for a fact.

i think babe is about some kind of dalliance dianna must have had but as taylor said herself “i been there too a few times”

their breakup was mutual and they ended things on good enough terms. which is why taylor had her last message to dianna be “i love you” on 1989 .  taylor also used Clean to say she missed her which is very sweet.

taylor said very nice and balanced things about the muse that inspired 1989/style

she described dianna as that “one person” for her

she also goes on to admit they were both at fault when it came to the end of their relationship:

we have every reason to believe they’re on cordial terms (and taylor remembers her fondly - if i’m indeed right that the 1 and cardigan are about dianna) dianna would have had to be approved by Taylor to be in the VIP section at snl - like it is a fact that taylor could have disallowed her from being there.

so yeah taylor and dianna broke up due to external pressures as i very clearly laid out in my @swiftgronmasterpost (which i built to basically prove all that i’m saying here - just read the intro post there) and are almost certainly on good terms these days

taylor’s lyrics, her own words, and the fact that she allowed dianna to come to snl essentially proves that they’re good these days.  

meanwhile, we have piles of receipts that karlie betrayed taylor to scooter and taylor is out here referring to her as “a crook who was caught” while karlie incubates a kushner baby so...yeah...if we’re in a pissing contest for best ex, dianna 1000% wins, hands down, no questions asked.

#swiftgron #tw: laine #tw: kaylors #lets go kids these people are kaylors #Anonymous

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 20: Moxiety

@tsshipmonth2020

(Yes this is out of order, but I figured I’d rather give you guys out of order content than no content at all. Hope that’s okay.)

Day 20 - You can send one item to your soulmate every year. 

Content warning: Christmas, food mentions, homophobic family members mentions, serious fluffiness.

Word count: 2.7k 

Songs mentioned in this fic: “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” and “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. 

Patton’s eyes scanned over the letter, barely reading the words he’d read many times before. After the first time he’d gotten one, years ago, he’d re-read it so many times he’d committed it to memory.

Patton Hart,

You are receiving this notice to inform you that the annual soulmate item exchange is arriving. On December 24th, BEFORE MIDNIGHT, please bring your package to your nearest postal service or drop box, marked clearly with the provided adhesive label on the TOP. Item must be contained in the shipping box provided. Other boxes will not be accepted. If the drop off time is missed, your package will not be received. 

There was no signature, no return address, no number to call. At first, he’d been slightly suspicious, since everyone he asked had no further information than what was on the small letter, but after the first year, when a beautiful black and gold notebook and a matching pen had shown up on his doorstep on Christmas morning, he’d decided to heck with his worries. Despite his initial curiosity, he’d sent a gift anyways (if it was legitimate, he wasn’t about to leave his partner without a present!), a grey beanie that he’d stitched a small heart and message into. 

He giddily placed the letter back into the envelope and stuck it into the gap between the hallway mirror and the wall so he wouldn’t forget. Although, he doubted he would. He’d already bought a present, months ago, when his eyes fell upon a black and purple striped sweater in the window of the mall. The black thin stripes occasionally jumped, looking like the lines on a heart monitor, and it hooked him instantly. It was simplistic yet eye catching and unique, like the gifts Patton always received from his soulmate, so he immediately bought it and wrapped it as soon as he got home. He didn’t know his soulmate’s size, but you really can’t go wrong with an extra large (baggy sleeves are ideal, after all).

His time passed quickly, filled with movie nights with his roommate (who insisted on watching Nightmare before Christmas at least once a week) and trying new Christmas cookie recipes. It was his favorite holiday, with the songs and the decorations and the ever present smell of cinnamon in every store, so the moment they had passed Halloween, every moment was filled with his Christmas playlists and cheesy holiday sweaters. His family was coming to his place for their celebration this year, so the place was decked out with tinsel and little snowy villages, candles and fairy lights on every wall, and of course, their tree in the corner of the living room. It was going to be… amazing. 

He’d offered to take his roommate’s soulmate item along with him to the post office, seeing as he was uneasy in high crowd situations, and soulmate exchange days were always insanely busy. It had been the right move, too, because as soon as the office came into view, he could already see the crowd of people milling outside, trying to get into the small door. What could you expect, though, only giving people a twenty four hour window to all show up to the same spot? By the time he got inside and got both packages passed to the handler on the other side (an arduous process, since they had to check each gift thoroughly to ensure there were no cards or any other way to identify the sender), it was dark outside. All he wanted to do was curl up with some hot chocolate and watch the Grinch, as the two of them had planned. 

That’s what they did, falling asleep on the couch in the process. They were awoken in the morning by a knock at the door, Patton gently extracting himself from Virgil’s arms and turning off the TV, cringing that the cover screen of the movie had been on all night. The other mumbled in annoyance at his heat source disappearing and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

“It’s too early.”

“Merry Christmas, Virge!” Patton shrieked, ignoring his roommate’s mock irritated snarl as he gave him a tight hug. “Let’s go get our gifts!”

Begrudgingly, Virgil followed him to the door that he flung open, revealing two small parcels on the step. The labels from the senders had been replaced with simple name tags, another way to ensure that their soulmates would not be traceable. The other houses on the block all had similar ones outside their doors, and the carrier was nowhere to be seen, as usual. He picked them both up, handing Virgil his, and running back into the kitchen to get scissors, pretty much vibrating with glee. 

“I’m making coffee first. You want some?” 

Patton hummed, looking between the gift before him and Virgil’s tired eyes. “This can wait. Let’s have coffee.”

Virgil was barely able to conceal with excitement at being chosen over a Christmas present by someone who was essentially an overgrown child, pulling out two mugs. He passed his package to Patton, who placed it beside his on the table, and shuffled around his roommate to start on breakfast.

“It’s Christmas. You’re going to eat breakfast for once,” Patton interrupted the moment Virgil started complaining, grinning widely when he finally agreed. 

“Do you ever wonder who your soulmate’s gonna be? What they’ll be like?” Virgil asked as he poured the coffee grounds, dangerously precise as always. The elder hummed.

“They’re your soulmate. So I guess, a perfect match to you. It’s not like they won’t like you or anything. That’s against the whole point!” An egg sizzled as it hit the pan, quickly followed by another.

“I guess,” He mumbled, clicking the on button on the machine. The smell of coffee quickly filled the small kitchen, “So when is your family getting here?”

“Around noon,” Patton chirped, flipping the first egg while simultaneously popping bread in the toaster with his other hand, “I like to cook, but my moms don’t trust me to make the main dish alone. My sisters are super excited to be old enough to help make food this year-- it’s so cute. But yeah, they should be here by noon.”

Virgil cracked a pained smile, watching the dripping coffee into the pot. “Okay. I’ll be out of your hair by then.”  

Patton’s hand froze in mid air, whipping around to his roommate. “Excuse me?”

“I said I’ll be gone by then,” Virgil repeated, looking down to play with the hem of his sweater, “Do you want me to leave earlier? I can if you want.” His voice very nearly cracked as he spoke, tone getting quieter with each word. Patton’s heart shattered.

“Why do you think I want you to leave?” He whispered, blindly shutting the stove off behind him so the eggs wouldn’t burn. The toast popping startled them both, but neither could find it in them to laugh as they usually would have. Virgil shrugged.

“I mean, your family’s coming over. I’m not family. And I know you were super excited for them to come over, and I don’t want to… ruin the vibe,” He shook his fingers in weak jazz hands, shooting a watery grin at Patton. “I was just planning to go to the mall or something. I think it’s open-” 

His words were silenced as Patton threw his arms around Virgil’s shoulders, pulling him into a tight hug. It was no secret that Virgil didn’t get along well with his own family. That was the understatement of the year, really. Patton didn’t know the details, refused to pry, all he knew is that it had something to do with Virgil coming out to a pretty conservative family, an action that ended with him being split off from everyone. He had lost his little brother to his parents cutting contact, among other things, and Patton realized with a start that this was Virgil’s first Christmas without his family. 

In the single year they’d been roommates, the two had grown closer than any childhood friend Patton had kept throughout the years. Heck, he’d maybe consider them closer than he was with his moms, and that was saying a lot. For them to even fall asleep on the couch after a movie night, as they’d done last night, was a regular occurrence for them. They admitted secrets to each other they hadn’t fully admitted to themselves, about their own aromantic natures, about what that meant for soulmates, about what kind of pie was the best. Not all their conversations were deep.

“You are family, Virge,” Patton whispered, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder. “And unless you have a legitimate reason not to, you’re staying here. My family will love you, I swear,” He added quickly, knowing the other’s tendency to grow anxious around new people. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to ruin-”

“I will physically fight you,” He hissed before the other could finish, pulling out of the hug with a soft kiss to his temple. “Stay. For me?”

“Fine,” Virgil rolled his eyes, turning away in fake annoyance to pour their coffee, “For you.” He had a reputation to uphold after all, and him nearly crying was not great for it.  

Just as they finished breakfast, Patton eyeing his present next to him with, again, startling resemblance to an excited child, there was a knock at the door. The roommates shared a confused glance, silently communicating that ‘no, I’m not expecting anyone’ before Patton got up to open it. He’d barely unlocked the latch when it burst open of its own accord, a loud shriek of “PATTY!” echoing through the small entryway.

“You guys are early!” Patton laughed as two small girls attempted to squeeze him to death around his torso, the pair having the same blond curls as Patton. 

“These two just couldn’t wait to see you,” A woman Virgil assumed to be one of Patton’s mother’s smiled, angling above the girls to give Patton a gentle hug which he eagerly returned. 

He quickly led them all inside, introducing a nearly shaking Virgil to his family. His other mom was carrying a box laden with uncooked food, and began to set it out in the small kitchen to begin preparing it. The girls, after a bit of hesitation, flocked to Virgil.

“Why’s your hair purple?” One asked, pulling herself onto Virgil’s lap. Her southern accent was just as strong as her moms’, reminding him of the accent Patton had slowly lost since moving in with him. It wasn’t gone all the way, just dimmed, but from the kitchen, he could hear his roommate talking to his moms animatedly, the accent back in all its glory. 

“I drank too much grape soda,” Virgil lamented, “When I was little, I couldn’t get enough of it. And then it turned my hair purple.” 

“No, it didn’t!” The girl leaning on his knee giggled.

“Are you saying I’m a liar?” He gasped, placing a hand over his heart, “How dare you!”

They both erupted into shrieking laughs, causing Patton to poke his head out of the kitchen. Virgil couldn’t help grinning widely at him as the second girl pulled herself onto his lap as well, causing Patton’s face to light up like the sun. 

“Did you know Christmas is my favorite holiday?” 

“Is it really? Why’s that?” Virgil asked, leaning back in his chair.

“It’s mine, too!”

“Nu uh, it’s only mine!”

“We can have the same favorite!”

“Nu uh!”

----------------------------------------------

Patton collapsed back onto the couch, groaning loudly. The tree was the only light in the darkened living room, the air still warm and smelling like the dinner they’d enjoyed hours ago. It was quiet again, his family gone back home. He’d missed them immensely, but he’d forgotten how loud they could be. His feet shifted on the floor, rustling the wrapping paper left over by his hurricane twin sisters; a mess he’d clean up tomorrow. Footsteps approached from down the hall, signalling his roommates arrival, and the speaker on the mantle started to quietly play “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas”, Frank Sinatra’s soft voice drifting through the air.

“I’m so full,” He groaned again, resting his head on the back of the couch.

“Mood,” Virgil said, dropping next to him. He didn’t need to open his eyes to know that Virgil was just as tired as him. Tired, in the best way possible. 

“You’re really good with kids,” Patton noted with a smile. 

“Tell anyone and they’ll never find your body,” He deadpanned and Patton snorted, before he continued, “They’re the same age as my brother.”

“Oh,” He whispered, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, surprisingly. I miss him. A lot. But this was the best Christmas I’ve probably ever had. No homophobic family members, no shouting matches, just… family. It was nice.”

“Hard to be homophobic when you have two moms,” Patton joked, relieved that Virgil snickered. 

“Probably would be, yeah.”

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas,

With every Christmas card I write,

May your days be merry and bright,

And may all your Christmas’ be white.

They sat in comfortable silence for a bit, relishing in the silence of the house. The tree sparkled, lighting up the blank walls in rainbow hues, their conglomerate mix of thrift store ornaments shifting and reflecting the light. People shouted outside, joyful noises, and kids laughed, their neighbors wrapping up their own holiday celebration.

Patton opened his eyes as he felt something placed on his lap, looking down in confusion before grinning.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot!”

Virgil smiled sheepishly, shifting his own box between his hands. “I put them into my room when your family showed up.”

“Smart move. The twins would have torn them open.” Patton dropped off the couch onto the floor, sitting cross legged and shaking with anticipation. With a laugh, Virgil joined him when he gestured to the floor in front of him. He reached up and took his keys from the mantle, slicing open the duct tape on his box before handing it to Patton to do the same.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, 

Like the ones I used to know, 

Where the treetops glisten and children listen, 

To hear sleigh bells in the snow

They opened their boxes in unison, Patton gasping when he saw the item in his. He pulled out the large, black fuzzy blanket, blue paw prints the size of Patton’s palm decorating the surface. A high pitched squeal burst from his lips as he squished the blanket to his chest, shoving his face in the soft fabric. 

“Virgil, look! Isn’t it-”

His words caught in his throat at the expression on Virgil’s face; one of absolute shock. He was clutching his gift in white knuckles, and Patton’s mouth went dry when he caught the distinct black heart-beat-esque lines on the purple sweater. 

“Oh,” Patton whispered, both of them frozen, looking at the gift they’d bought in the other’s arms. “Oh!”

“You’re my soulmate!” They both stated at the same time, breaking off into giggles.

“I guess so,” Virgil gasped, smiling as Patton pretty much leapt into his arms, trying to maneuver his hands around the other’s shoulders while still clutching the black blanket. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so relieved! You’re aro and I’m aro and it’s not going to be awkward with someone else, and I don’t have to explain and oh my gosh this is so fantastic!” 

They both dissolved into another laughing fit, Virgil finally able to wind his arms around the other and pulling him closer. The end of the song slowly dwindled down as they both untangled themselves, unable to stop grinning. There was a moment of silence in the room as Virgil picked up a shrieking Patton and dropped him onto the couch, their sides sore from laughter, and essentially settled on top of him.

“Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” filled the room with soft violin swings as the two fell into a blissful sleep, wrapped in their respective gifts, more at peace than they’d been in… who knows how long.

#lywrites #tsshipmonth2020 #moxiety #patton sanders #virgil sanders #ts soulmate au #sanders sides #sanderssides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanderssidesfanfiction #sanderssidesau

[elmo-is-a-forgotten-god]

TW:// gender discourse

This is very long but I hope y’all read it

Guys. I hope y’all know I’m not homophobic or transphobic or xenophobic in any way. I try to support and respect everyone. I’m probably going to lose followers for this, but just know this is not meant to be disrespectful.

All dialogue in this is most likely not exact but it gets the idea of essentially what happened. I also refer to this person as “this person” because I don’t want to be disrespectful to this person regardless of how this person treated me.

——————————————————————————-

I am just very angry and frustrated at a situation that happened earlier and I feel bad about it. I’ve talked to my friends already and they think I am in the right but I guess I just want to explain everything here.

I went to a comic book store recently because they are going to be shut down do to covid soon so they are having a pretty nice sale. I am minding my business looking at some comic books. This person shoves past me and physically touches me (which already would make me uncomfy even if there wasn’t covid).

I say “excuse me-“ (this would usually where I say ma’am or sir but this person looked very androgynous so I figured that this person probably used different pronouns).

So instead I ask “what are your pronouns if you don’t mind me asking? I don’t want to misgender you”.

This person responds with “yeah sure they are ——-/——- they’re this thing called neopronouns just so you know.” (I didn’t put the actual name I’ll explain why in a bit)

At this point I’m in fucking shock because this person literally said the name of a god. For context for anyone seeing this that doesn’t know, I am a pagan witch. I believe in all gods (yes even the Christian one).

——————————————————————————

In my beliefs and what I was taught by my grandmother, you are not to speak a gods name unless it is out of respect and reffering to them directly. It is VERY disrespectful to the gods to refer to someone else as a god. Other things that are disrespectful along these lines include:

-speaking badly about a god

-reffering to a different entity as a specific god (mislabeling an entity as a god)

-repeatedly speaking or writing a gods name

—————————————————————————

I explained this to this specific person as nicely as I could. I ended up getting screamed at by this person about being homophobic and transphobic and a bigot and a xenophobic piece of shit, amongst other various profanities.

You may be thinking that this is the worst of it but it’s not. This person calls over this persons partner over and say that “I refused to respect their gender identity”. Which is not what I said, I explicitly said that “saying the name of a god in that context is a violation of my beliefs and seen as disrespectful to the gods”.

Long story short both this person and this persons partner yell and scream at me for a while. These people also try to GET me to say that name in the context of pronouns which I refused to do.

These people then went up to the owner of the comic books shop who is a non-binary icon (he/they pronouns) and heard the whole fucking thing. These people scream at him too until he kicks them out. He knows me and he knows that I would never purposely disrespect someone.

——————————————————————————

I still respect most neopronouns. However using the names of: spirits, creatures, gods or other entities that are a part of peoples religion is fucked up. That is cultural appropriation and that is not ok. I feel bad about this whole situation despite multiple people telling me I shouldn’t.

The reason I took it to tumblr is because I know there are quite a few people here who are questioning their gender or who already use neopronouns. I will respect how someone wants to be reffered to, but you’re not a fucking god and I will not call you one.

I know I am cis. I also know that that is a fucking privilege but I can’t do this shit.

#long post #vent #gender #neopronouns #lgbtqia #lgbtq #lgbt #not a shitpost #not a joke #yes this actually fucking happened #norse pagan #paganism #hellenistic #witchcraft #pagan #Hellenic pagan #greek paganism #roman paganism #pronouns #gender identity

[tanadrin]

I suppose because politics is what means I have no future of any kind left, so it's hard to be silly about it. And I seem to have landed myself in a sector of social media filled with people who are very smug about how smart and nihilistic they are, and I hate all of you with the hatred that only a miserable, powerless person can feel.

I don’t buy it. Unless you are quite literally scheduled to be executed at dawn, “no future of any kind left” because of politics is catastrophizing. People in very dire circumstances the world over often manage to build some kind of life for themselves; it may not be the life they want, and the suffering they endure because of the circumstances they are limited by should not be dismissed, but to say that someone in such adverse conditions has no future is to infantalize them and deny them the agency they do have to shape their life to some extent.

And this is an insight I’ve found important when dealing with depression in myself: even if one’s catastrophizing is not irrational (say, you’re a queer person stuck in an extremely homophobic environment, at minimum for the next 5-10 years), that does not mean it is useful. To put it another way: circumstance might justifiably make you angry and sad and frustrated. That may be rational. Deciding, in the face of that anger and sadness and frustration, to surrender to it is not rational.

So--assuming that you are not a political dissident due to be executed, nor suffering from a terminal illness which somehow for political reasons cannot be cured (if either of these things are true, you have my sincere condolences)--I have to say, this ask reeks of someone who’s depressed. If you are depressed, you will always be able to come up with reasons why happiness is unattainable for you, due to circumstances entirely out of your control. This is not a crazy thing to think, because if you are depressed and not treating that depression, most if not all the things you try to do will not solve your unhappiness because they are usually orthogonal to what is making you unhappy. Your very ability to accurately imagine future happy states and what might bring them about is suppressed by depression; for instance, you might, if you are depressed and you know it, rationally understand that exercise often helps with your depression, but be unable to motivate yourself to exercise because the intuitive link between if I do X I will feel better is broken by an internal forecasting system that refuses to spit out predictions other than “nothing I do will help with anything.”

A depressed state is not a psychotic break--it doesn’t cause you to lose touch with reality--but I think depressed people would sometimes benefit from treating it like one, because it does subvert your ability to accurately model the world, and therefore you can’t trust your own ability to reason or intuit about certain topics. I have both experienced this from the inside, and seen it from the outside: friends whose depression causes them to believe they are unlovable, and thus that nobody loves them, even when told (and shown) repeatedly that they are very much loved, and very important to the people around them.

In fact, you remind me of this post: depressed and anxious people who notice politics is depressing and anxiety-inducing, and that depressing and anxiety-inducing problems confront the world and society, and therefore conclude that their depression and anxiety are a rational and reasonable response to the world. But that doesn’t follow at all! A lot of responses to a depressing and anxiety-inducing environment are more useful that shutting down and withdrawing, or letting yourself be paralyzed; and even if there are negative external factors in the world affecting your life, if you have nothing in your life that is a sufficient source of joy to offset these things at least somewhat, then you have problems sufficiently severe that I don’t think your depression or anxiety can be laid at the feet of the world at large alone; more likely, you’re dealing with shitty personal circumstances, and these are far more likely to be tractable to your individual capacities than, like, all of climate change. And if you do have some sources of joy in your life, you can cultivate those further.

To put it another way: humans are very bad at reasoning about things on large scales or over large timelines. One reason we’re slow to solve problems like climate change is that we tend to be pretty blasé about remote and impersonal problems, which is actually often useful as well--because it means we’re capable of adjusting our hedonic barometer to create joy even in catastrophic circumstances. If you are constantly worried about big issues like climate change or the Trump presidency to the point where you can never do that, then the conclusion you should draw isn’t that you’re a uniquely rational human being with a uniquely accurate worldview, it’s that your brain is broken and you should not trust your intuitition.

Emotional states are not rational models of the world. They are tools our brain uses to motivate certain kinds of action. They probably have their origin in our social evolution, but this means they are extremely untrustworthy when it comes to complex, large-scale, philosophical, or impersonal issues, because these are not scenarios our brains evolved to handle before the advent of high-population, highly-stratified societies.

Now, I realize it’s hard to convince someone they are depressed and/or should seek treatment by rational argument (lord knows I’ve tried in the past!), because after all, if we were being perfectly rational, we would not feel depressed. We wouldn’t feel anything; again, emotions are contingent tools, not highly rationalized responses to the world! So I won’t belabor this point any longer. Instead, now I’m going to get annoyed with you.

Because here’s the other thing depressed people do--and I have done myself. They see people who are not depressed, whose hedonic barometers are functioning normally, and capable of experiencing joy even in arguably (or inarguably!) shitty circumstances, and they get mad at them. How dare you be capable of laughing at a joke, or sharing a meme, or having a nice day, when everything is so bad!

This is a common response, not only from depression, but also I think from grief, or fear, or trauma, or lots of other things. But it’s bullshit. I’m sorry, but you don’t get to demand that everyone feel your suffering as acutely as they feel their own. You don’t get to demand that just because you’re a pessimistic ball of frustration and anger that everyone else be, too. You get to--and ought to--demand that people treat you with empathy and respect, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get to make jokes about topics you find depressing as hell. Yes, even topics that personally affect you, and may not personally affect them (though, of course, a lot of times people assume the person making the joke isn’t personally affected by the topic, when in reality they are and the joke is a way of relieving stress and coping with frustration).

That calvin and hobbes meme I reblogged is an extremely generic political compass meme; the only relevance it has to the world today, I suppose, is acknowledging that, like, politics is a thing that exists. If you’re upset by that--how dare people laugh at politics, the source of all my problems--you’re being a dick.

And this leads my to my final point, which is this: while we are all of us owed compassion, we also owe others compassion. And people caught up in their own anxiety and depression and anger often don’t see the way their emotional states impose costs on the people around them. They often treat the people around them badly--worse, at any rate, than they normally would--and react defensively if this is pointed out to them.

I’ve done this. I have friends who have done this. I get it. It doesn’t make someone a horrible person! It doesn’t meant they deserve to feel the way they do. But it does create the second half of a twofold moral obligation. You see, I believe that the, call it “utilitarian selfishness” view, is essentially correct: if all humans are of similar moral worth (they are), and you can only help one person (often true), and that person is yourself, it is no less moral to help yourself than it is to help someone else. This is usually framed as a grant of permission: “you are allowed to be selfish sometimes.” But it’s also an obligation: “you should not be a dick--even to yourself.” You have a positive obligation to care about your own suffering! And you have a positive obligation to try to reduce the costs your suffering--your bad mood, your depression, your anxiety--imposes on the people around you.

Because I’m not a smug nihilist. I actually believe, with embarrassing intensity, in a large number of abstract principles. And while I believe circumstance or injustice can conspire to make people feel miserable and powerless, and I have the utmost sympathy for you feeling that way, no one is so omnipotent as to be able to truly excise our power to do something with our life that is rewarding to us, no matter how modest. Your subjective feeling of misery is not license to be a dick to people, or to misrepresent them or their motivations. And if reading my tumblr (or anyone else’s) makes you miserable, you have a positive moral obligation to stop, because you’re being a dick to yourself, which is no more justifiable than being a dick to me. And being a dick to me because you don’t like my Tumblr, because you’re miserable and I’m not, is pants-on-head stupid.

I, too, have been so convinced of my misery and powerlessness, and so utterly convinced of my inability to make improvements in my life, that I have yielded utterly to the feeling of myself as a despised, helpless, wretched thing. You can spend years in that state. A lifetime, even. I suppose it relieves you from the burden of having to try, which is a tiny shred of comfort when the climb up the hill seems so steep. But I have found that in the long run it brings no other relief; there’s no regression to the mean, just an endless prolongation of misery. It required some courage, and not a little determination, to try to climb out of that pit. Sometimes you struggle. Sometimes you fall back in. Sometimes it’s easier to believe there’s nothing beyond that place of unhappiness. But there is, and you can get there, and the choice of whether or not to reach it lies only with you.

#if you are in fact due to be executed ignore this #and you have my deepest condolences #but in that case how did you get on tumblr??? #Anonymous

[weirwoodking]

hi i was wondering if you would be interested in making a meta on the differences between show!sansa and book!sansa bc i know they changed a lot of her storyline but i don't understand why everyone hates on sophie turner? it can be short or inexistent meta if you're not up to it but i would be very interested to know what you have to say

I mean, the differences between the two are pretty simple. After season 4, D&D decided to cut Sansa’s book storyline, and replaced it with their own rewrite. This affected the plots of multiple characters, particularly Show!Theon’s and Show!Jon’s, but most of all, Show!Sansa’s, obviously. George himself has spoken on how much he hated what the show did with Sansa. He said in 2014 that he had “no idea what they were doing with Sansa or where they’re taking her storyline.”

I could go episode by episode and point out everything that’s wrong or is out of character, but it’s kind of useless. The show did not adapt books 4 & 5, it’s as simple as that, everything is different and feels like it’s out of character. For the first 4 seasons, I thought that Sansa’s story was handled fine (I haven’t watched GOT seasons 1-4 in over 4 years, so my memory is a bit foggy on the specifics tho). Sophie Turner isn’t exactly how I picture Sansa to look, but her acting was fantastic, especially for someone so young and for her first television role.

I personally haven’t seen people “hating on Sophie Turner”, but I’m not involved in the GOT side of tumblr, only the ASOIAF side, so I don’t see people talk about the actors that much. I do know that there are people in fandom (not just in the GOT fandom but in fandom in general) who will conflate actors with their characters. I have seen some toxic Show!Sansa stans do this with Show!Dany and Emilia Clarke (mostly last year). It seems to be more of a problem with female characters and actresses (‘cause sexism), and I think it’s really creepy and disturbing. Sophie Turner is not Sansa, so if anyone is “hating on her” because they didn’t like how the show changed Sansa’s story, that’s really fucked up. I don’t know much about the GOT cast, actually, I rarely watched interviews or behind-the-scenes videos. I don’t know if Sophie Turner has said that she likes the show’s ending or something like that, so if that was the case I could see people being critical of her opinion. But even if she did like the ending of the show and the way the writers changed her character after season 4, I still don’t think you should hate on an actor for that. Because the actors didn’t make the show, the showrunners did. It’s not on the actors to get everything right about their characters, it’s on the writers and directors to tell them the story and guide them through their acting. I don’t blame the actors for anything about GOT (no one should), I blame the writers.

What I find is the biggest problem about post-season 4 Sansa is how little regard they had for her character, while simultaneously claiming she was their favorite. I believe their exact quote was “Sansa was the character we cared about more than anyone”. Okay… then why did you cut her storyline? I feel like their whole “she’s our favorite character” act was more to try to defend against the criticism of the cutting of her storyline. What bothers me most is how they just casually threw her into the Ramsay plotline without thinking at all about what that meant. If you’re going to have one of the main characters of the show get serially raped, you need to think about what you’re doing and how to handle that horrific situation. In the books, the Jeyne Poole storyline is handled very carefully. The acts committed by Ramsay against Jeyne and Theon are never really shown, only implied, alluded to, or very briefly described. The show, on the other hand, explicitly showed Theon’s torture scenes, and made Ramsay a much bigger character in seasons 5 & 6 than he is in the books. I feel like they just used him for shock value, because so much of Game of Thrones revolved around shock value and in-the-moment reactions. I think they just saw Ramsay as a character they could turn into Joffrey 2.0, which is why they put Sansa with him. They didn’t care to follow Sansa’s book arc, they just wanted to continue the whole “caged-bird” thing with her, for shock value.

And to deflect against criticism, that’s why they made her so smart and powerful in the final few seasons. There’s next-to-no build up, no character development, no focus on her growth, the show just tells us that Sansa is the smartest character, and the audience is expected to agree. Because D&D did not care about showing her development. There’s a line in season 7, when Sansa and Arya kill Littlefinger, where Sansa says “thank you for all of your lessons, Lord Baelish.” And that immediately stuck out to me, because that sounds like something Book!Sansa would say. The show cut out Sansa’s Vale storyline, where she spends much more time with Littlefinger, and so… what “lessons” is Show!Sansa referring to here? They didn’t spend a lot of time together in the show. I do think that Sansa will defeat Littlefinger in the books, so that line makes sense for Book!Sansa.

What they did was cut Sansa’s storyline, throw her into a horrific situation that they used for shock value, and then expected to be praised when they made her a “girlboss” later on. They basically said “hey, we know we essentially erased this character’s arc and development, but at least we did a feminism, right?” And that’s what really pisses me off. The blatant disregard for female characters, then saying “no, we do care about them! Believe us!”

Lindsay Ellis has a really good video called “Woke Disney” that touches on this. Basically, she talks about how Disney’s recent live action remakes tend to make each of the princesses a “#girlboss” in a very corporate, fake-feminist manner that is very easy to see right through. (I recommend just watching the video, she goes more in-depth into the subject.)

A similar thing occurred with GOT (the show only had one female writer after season 4, by the way, who was a staff writer for season 8. And before that, only 4 episodes were written by a woman). D&D wrote a lot of problematic, misogynistic, homophobic, and racist things. Then they tried to cover that up with (to use a line from Ms. Ellis) a coat of #girlboss paint. For example, I remember after s8e3 (when Arya killed the Night King) came out, that was when the big criticism for season 8 really started. People saw how bad the writing of that episode was, and how ridiculous and anti-climactic it all felt. However, when people criticized the manner in which the Night King was killed (i.e. saying that it would have made more narrative sense for Jon to do it instead of Arya), there was another group of people who called that criticism sexist. “That’s sexist! You’re just upset that a girl did it instead of a guy!” Which… ugh... do I need to explain how idiotic that line of reasoning is?

And that’s kind of how the HBO show tried to get away with its misogyny, not just the misogyny of Dany’s ending, but of the whole show in general. “Look, we can’t be misogynistic, we had Arya kill the Night King! Look, we can’t be misogynistic, we had Sansa become a #girlboss!” Bullshit, you’re just trying to hide your sexism and bad writing behind a facade of fake feminism.

… *sigh* ...

Anyway, nothing but love for Book!Sansa, and nothing but hate for the writers of Game of Thrones. I hate how the show turned Sansa into a very polarizing character, when she shouldn’t be. None of the child characters of ASOIAF should be polarizing, they’re children for fucks sake.

I’m very excited to see where GRRM takes Sansa’s character in TWOW, I feel like she’s got an awesome journey coming up (hopefully involving her discovering her skinchanging powers, taking down Littlefinger, and heading north for home). 

Uh, wow, this got really long… and I’m exhausted after thinking about the sh*w that much. Here, as a treat for reading all the way down to the bottom, have a Sansa WIP drawing that I haven’t finished yet:

#long post #ask #anon #asoiaf #pro book sansa #book sansa stark #anti got #anti game of thrones #tw: rape mention

[comingoutofthecauldron]

let’s talk about lesbophobia in fandom

i don’t like to use the word “lesbophobia” unironically because of all the gross radfem terfy connotations, so i will clarify right off the bat that i am neither a terf nor an aphobe and that if you are i want you off my blog like, right now. unfortunately, the meaning of lesbophobia has been so warped by alt right lesbians that seeing it in an unironic context makes me, a lesbian, uncomfortable, which speaks volumes in itself. so to clarify, lesbophobia is essentially homophobia with a pinch of sexism thrown into the mix, and it’s running rampant in supposed safe spaces and, more relevantly, fandom. 

/i’d also like to clarify that i’m not only speaking on lesbophobia, but also the general disgust and disdain for all wlw in fandom, and am using it as a sort of umbrella term/

lesbophobia and disdain for wlw has been around forever, but whilst gay positivity, mlm and mlm ships have been steadily increasing in popularity within fandom over time, wlw and wlw ships have remained perpetual underdogs. why? because lesbophobia has become a fandom within itself. both in and outside of fandom, we see instances of casual lesbophobia every single day—from aggression towards wlw to something as simple and prevalent as the complete and utter lack of sapphic ships and characters in media. hatred of lesbians and wlw is practically a trend, and it’s seeping in through the cracks of fandoms who are already facing issues with minorities and marginalized groups (i.e. racism, ableism). if you honestly think that lesbophobia isn’t prevalent as hell in fandom right now, you’re either not a wlw, you’re not all that involved in fandom, or you’re dumb as shit. 

just look at ships. in almost every single fandom, the ratio of mlm ships to sapphic ships is ridiculously unbalanced. people are quick to ship male characters who so much as smile at each other (and i don’t condemn that) but would never do the same for two women—even on the rare occasion that the ship is actually canon. i once wrote a wlw fanfic for a [predominantly straight] fandom, and received messages like this gem:

on the flip side of that, if there is a sapphic ship in canon or fanon, it is often fetishized and sexualised to a disturbing degree. there will be double the amount of nsfw art and fics, and ninety percent of it will be derogatory and fetishized as hell. having been actively involved in several fandoms over the past few years (and currently a content creator in one), i’ve seen instances of all this hundreds of times. people go crazy for mlm ships, but the second you say you ship/prefer a wlw ship, there’s always someone at the ready with, “i think all ships are great!” or “it’s not a contest” or “i prefer [insert m/m or m/f ship] actually” or “they’re my brotp!/why can’t you just let them be friends?”. not only do lesbians and wlw not get to have any rep in media, any rep that they try to create for themselves in fandom just gets attacked or ruined. this is so detrimental not only to all wlw, but especially to younger wlw who will end up being indoctrinated into this belief that their sexuality is something dirty, something that can never be tender and sweet but rather something that deserves to be preyed upon. 

building on that, let’s talk about engagement. i run an instagram account (where i have a significantly bigger following) as well as this blog for my fandom, where i post the content i create (mainly text posts). when i first started creating content, i made a lot for a relatively unpopular wlw ship, in which both girls are canonically romantically involved with a dude—though one of them is canonically pan. their canonical m/f ships are both very popular, and i noticed that my engagement was dropping every time i posted them, so i eventually just stopped. it wasn’t even a conscious decision; i merely resigned myself to the fact that the fandom didn’t want to see sapphic ships, and some people would even go as far as to condemn them. for reference, my instagram posts get an average of about 500 likes per post (popular ones usually exceeding 1k), but when i post this ship, my engagement drops to about 250 likes. similarly, my tumblr text posts have an average of about 140 notes per post (popular ones usually reaching up to 750), but my wlw content rarely surpasses 100. this just feeds the cycle of wlw never getting rep: if, like me, content creators become disincentivised by the lack of engagement with their sapphic content, they’re more likely to stop making/posting it, leading to further lack of rep—and when new content creators try to rectify that, they face the same problems. 

and then, of course, there’s the treatment of actual wlw in fandom. my best example of this is when my friend and i made an anti account on instagram (the first instagram anti account in that fandom), our bio saying something like “salty and bitter lesbians being salty and bitter”, and received an onslaught of lesbophobic insults and threats from angry stans within hours. (tw: r*pe) one commenter even went as far as to tell us that they wanted us to get r*ped. as well as this, i’ve seen so many instances of people using slurs against lesbians in arguments/in anons, often for no apparent reason other than they feel that they have the right. when i first mentioned i was a lesbian on instagram, my account only had about 200 followers, and within a day i lost 20. i also lose followers whenever i post f/f ships, not quite to that extent but enough for it to be noticeable, on top of the aforementioned engagement dips. in the face of all this adversity, i think a lot of wlw turn to mlm ships because they’re the closest thing we have to actual rep, but when we do we get accused of fetishizing them by the same people who fetishize us. there’s an endless list of double standards that non-wlw have been upholding for years, and i can firmly say that i’m really fucking sick of it. because of our sexuality, we will never be allowed to enjoy something without someone labelling it or us as dirty or otherwise problematic, when to them, the only problematic thing about us is that we aren’t pleasing men. 

as i mentioned before, the lack of rep for wlw in media is appallingly consistent, and part of that stems from tokenism. in a lot of modern mainstream media, you’ll have one, maybe two lgbt characters, and nine times out of ten those characters are white cis male gays. of course, there are exceptions to this, but generally, that’s it. script writers and authors (especially cishets) seem to have this mentality of, “oh, well, we gave them one, that’s sure to be enough!”, which means that on the off chance you do get your gay rep, the likelihood of also receiving wlw or any other kind of rep becomes practically non-existant. this belief that all marginalized groups are the same and that one represents all is what leads to misrepresentation on top of lack of rep, which is what makes tokenism so dangerous. if you treat your only gay character badly, you are essentially treating every single gay person badly in that universe. so not only is lesbophobia and disdain for wlw harmful to sapphic women via their exclusion in media, it’s also harming those minorities who do get rep. when people try to defend lesbophobic source material, that’s when fandom starts to get toxic. the need for critical thinking has never been more apparent and it has also never been less appeased—and wlw are getting hit hard by it, as always.

finally, a pretty big driving factor of lesbophobia is, ironically, lesbians. my lesbian friends and i often joke that though everyone seems to hate us, no one hates lesbians more than lesbians do. though i’d say it’s most prevalent on tumblr, i see traces of it all over the internet. the growth of alt right lesbian movements is not only reinforcing hatred for lesbians, but also reinforcing hatred for bi and pan women. here you have these terrible lesbians using their platforms to express their disgust for bi/pan women, for aces and aros, for trans women/nb lesbians, and people see them and say, “gosh, lesbians are just awful.” and just like that, all of us are evil. occasionally, lesbian blogs that i follow get put on terf blocklists for no other reason than the fact that they have “lesbian” in their bio. and the lesbians that actually deserve to be on those blocklists? they’re too busy spewing misinformation about trans women and bi women to care, boosted up by their alt right friends in an ever-expanding movement. i’ve found that this heavily influences fandom on tumblr, lesbians often getting branded as “biphobic” when they hc a female character as a lesbian rather than bi or pan. this criticism of both lesbians and wlw by lesbians and non-wlw alike only ever allows lesbophobia to grow, both in and out of fandom. that said, lesbians aren’t to blame for their own discrimination; rather, many of us have been conditioned into subconsciously endorsing it after spending our entire lives hearing heterosexual platitudes about lesbians and sapphic relationships. homophobic cishets are and always have been the nexus of this oppression—the only difference is that now they can hide behind alt right lesbians.

one thing has been made apparent to me throughout my time in fandom, and that thing is that no one likes to see men “underrepresented”. people hate sapphic ships and lesbians so much because there is no room for men, and men Do Not Like That. so, like the worms that they are, they slither their way in, be it through fetishization or condemnation of wlw characters and ships, and they ruin whatever good things we have going for us. the thing about worms, though, is that they’re easy enough to crush if you’re wearing the right shoes.

so to all my bi/pan gals and lesbian pals: put on your doc martens, because we’ve got ourselves some lesbophobes to stomp on. 

#everyone say thank you hanna (@pinkseraphblades) for deciphering my rambling notes and helping me out with this #also want to say that my nb lesbians are not excluded from this!! i know i use the term 'wlw' a lot but i'd say it still applies to y'all #i could talk about this for days lmaoo #please rb #discourse #fandom discourse #lesbian discourse #wlw #lesbian #bisexual #yes grishaverse fandom i'm talking about you #grishaverse #soc #six of crows #tgt #the grisha trilogy #shadow and bone #and of course i was talking about my anti sjm account so #anti sjm #anti sarah j maas #anti acotar #cauldron rambles #didn't mean to take such an anti-worm stance i'm sorry worms #no worms were harmed in the making of this post #lesbophobes on the other hand... #important #ninej #lesbophobia

[masterthespianduchovny]

Honestly, I don't understand what some GA supporters, Gillovny haters and David haters, which I believe are mixed groups, against David and a friendship, albeit at a distance and occasionally with Gillian. At SM, the haters draw him as if he were the same arrogant actor who was portrayed in the 90s, who didn't have a friendly off-screen relationship with Gillian (hello, they are both very introverted and worked 17 hours together. How much could they handle this work overload? (to be continued..)

 Are these followers afraid that GA is getting involved with a "rapist/misogynist", just because his have a relationship with a 27-years-old girl? Why did David write about incest is his last book? Why did he say that he wouldn't like to with Gillian on anything but The X Files? Why was he openly a sex addict? And this arguments being based entirely on facts and gossip from 15/20 /25 years ago?

People draw David as if he were a maniac who can attack Gillian at any time, and that she doesn't know his true nature, so he has a relationship. It's amazing how people make assumptions based on the past things and don't even bother to keep up with what they're doing today. And even worse: they think they can govern your personal lives. I saw it from Gillovnys in the past, and now i see it in these groups.

I read these anons earlier and spent some time thinking about your remarks and the larger implications of certain accusations and DD/GA’s relationship. This response way longer than I intended, but like I said, I spend some time thinking about your comments. And when I say it’s long, I mean it’s long.

Anti’s alleged issues with DD is a combination of things: misogyny, sexism, homophobia, pedophilia, and being friends with an alleged sex trafficker.

David has said some homophobic, misogynistic, and sexist remarks. It’s one of those things that, although a handful of people knew better, his views were “normal” back then. This isn’t to excuse David, but rather, provide context. Because there’s problematic shit and beliefs from 10 and even 5 years ago. The question I ask myself is: has David unpacked these beliefs? Is he learning and growing?

The fact that they have to dig into shit from the 90s to find shit on him says A LOT. Maybe he’s learned to keep those views to himself OR maybe he realized that some of his beliefs were fucked up and left them in the past. I’m not saying that no one can’t be upset about what he said or even dislike him now because of it. However, I don’t think people who genuinely dislike him are sending hate anons to people because they like him.

I really don’t like talking about the pedophilia and him “knowing” he’s friends with a sex trafficker accusations because, even when accusations are proven to be false, someone will believe there's truth to them. It taints a person and that's generally speaking. The reason I’m addressing them now and with you is because I want to be transparent about what’s going on with Antis and my issues with them. I don’t want to be accused of bias or protecting DD because I’m “hiding” the truth.

This man in Hollywood accused David of being sexually inappropriate with a minor who later became his wife. Apparently, this happened in David’s trailer during the original run of the X-Files and was well known on set. This revelation occurred during the Me Too era, like when accusations were hot and took just about everyone accused of impropriety down. For reference, Harvey Weinstein, a powerful producer with more money and influence, was taken down. Louis CK, well respected before his victims came out. Pre Me Too: Bill Cosby. Aziz Ansari. Hell, even some of the faces of the movement were taken down.

So, this Hollywood dude claimed on twitter that David was touching on a minor while at work and EVERYONE on set knew, but somehow this story never caught on. Virtually no media outlets picked this up. And this accusation is worse than the Aziz accusation and he was torn to shreds as his career took a hit. But David can be accused of this horrendous thing and no one reacts to it??? Apparently, he must have better lawyers than Harvey, Louis, etc because the rumors never even took flight. AND, I believe the thread is still up too. Not even crazed right wingers or pizza gate fanatics were interested in this story. However, since David is involved with a significantly younger woman this means that that rumor is true. 

The thing is: there’s implications to this accusation that the antis didn’t think of and they got mad at me and others about it.

They said that Gillian hated David, didn't talk to him, and ignored him as much as she could because she knew about all of this. So, I asked, “If she knew David was a predator, why did she keep working with him? If you argue it was due to contract reasons, why did she work with him on IWTB and Seasons 10 and 11? Why didn’t she report him?”

Me and others were accused of holding women accountable for mens’ actions. But that still doesn’t answer the question, right? If Gillian hated David because he’s a predator, why did she still work with him? Her “hate” was supposed to be “proof” that he was morally corrupt. Since Gillian “hated” David, we’re supposed to hate David.

Another layer: David’s friends with a guy who allegedly is a sex trafficker, which to Antis mean that David knows and is okay with this. They’re friends, how could he not know???

This is important to note because they switch between Gillian knowing David is a “predator” and not knowing depending on the argument. So, when they swore up and down that she hated him, Gillian “knew.” Now that Gillian and David confirmed they are friends in some capacity, “just because she’s friends with him doesn’t mean she knows everything about him.”

Interesting, right?

They used examples of Harvey Weinstein and Ted Bundy to prove how someone can hide despicable acts after swearing up and down Gillian KNEW, which is why they weren’t friends. And, if you’re thinking...well what about David’s friend who allegedly is a sex trafficker, wouldn’t the same logic apply to him?

BINGO.

There are a million excuses and justifications when you apply their logic to Gillian, but they never give David the benefit of the doubt. They never critically examine any information they’re given if it paints David in a bad light. Then they put their heads in the sand if this info implicates Gillian. And the sad part is that I can go on a longer rant tearing their accusations apart.

There isn’t any consistency from Antis. I’d respect them if they’d dropped Gillian because she’s friends with the “predator” they hate. But no, their stance and justification changes so she's always in a good light.

You see how low they're willing to stoop to justify their hate. They aren’t content with disliking David, they need others to hate him too. They're too invested to admit they were wrong because then they’d have to face how foolish they looked hating David on the behalf of Gillian who doesn’t hate him at all. All that energy and hate for nothing.

Lastly, I genuinely do believe Antis are afraid that David and Gillian may be fucking or, at least, that casual fans will come to that conclusion. Think about it: who reacts like this to two people, who many thought hated each other, essentially announcing they are friends?

Who?

These are two adults with (an) adult kid(s). And they could literally become grandparents at any time. lol. These are two people who have known each other for damn near 30 years and Antis think they know David and Gillian better than they know each other.

But a simple photo got them rattled because they HAVE TO admit Gillian’s friends with David. She inadvertently put them in a corner and the only way out of it is to admit something they mocked others for believing. Their other options would fall into Gillovny thinking: they're fucking or dating.

And that’s what they’re really upset about.

They were left with options that fell into Gillovny thinking and had to choose the lesser of the evils. And they can’t say David and Gillian aren’t friends without looking delusional. Especially when they don’t have their handy dandy convenient excuses of “promo” for the x files or a charity. lol. Especially when they took a personal photo together and posted it online.

And I guess that’s the beauty of the picture: you’re only left with three options. Because, if you take friendship off the table, there is no other way to explain why David was there that doesn’t suggest them being intimately acquainted with each other.

I’ll say this: Antis don’t care about facts if the facts can’t be used as ammunition to shit on someone even if they have to distort it.

Now I know this is long and I’ve discussed things you didn’t intend, but I guess I needed this rant. LOL. Some Gillovnies and David fans may be upset that I discussed those topics, but most of the people on my blog either already heard about this OR have read me discuss it before.

Either way, Antis are hypocrites and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

#anon mail

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Alex ze Pirate “Mini Review” 1: About Male Abuse

Alex ze Pirate is in my opinion the WORST “comic” series Dobson has ever written up until this point (date for archives: June 2020). Sure, I agree with people that his “hot take” comics on Star Wars Fans, political issues and virtue signaling for the sake of making brownie points are worse overall cause they are uneducated propaganda that give insight in how much of a loathsome human being driven by spite he genuinely is, but Alex “offends” me as someone who enjoys fiction. It may not be the worst thing ever written, but it just does so many things wrong in terms of storywriting, storytelling, presentation and creating fictional characters, I can’t help but wonder what went wrong that Dobson even remotely thought this thing would be a “successful” comic series to establish him as a creator. Cause I can tell you, having read the likes of Don Rosa’s work on Disney, Hilda, Cleopatra in Space, Spirou, Asterix, One Piece (of which I will talk a lot in my next few posts) and many more, I can confirm by comparison that Dobson’s pirates as a published comic would have only one use on the public shelves: alternative for toilet paper during the COVID-19 epidemic

 Believe me, I would love to write an in depth analysis of everything wrong with Alex ze Pirate, from the lazy artwork up to even the publication history of this trainwrack. But doing so would take a lot of time and there is one individual part of this I think deserve at least extra attention. Something that in my opinion embodies quite well a lot of things I consider wrong with this comic. So before I am going over Alex in its entirety (and believe me, the day will come) let me just talk within the next few posts about one certain aspect and story of the comic, that genuinely got me to loath this comic to the core: Sam the Cabin Boy and “his” own individual story Dobson drew in three parts around 2010.  

For starters, lets talk who Sam is: Sam is one of the main characters in the comic and actually the first person who joined Alex and Peggy in the initial pages of Legends, the “original” form of Alex ze Pirate.

See, back in 2004, Dobson released Alex ze Pirate in form of a single comic volume called “Legends” which features Alex trying to recruit a crew. The thing is around 78 pages thick and based on what I saw pretty terribly paced. For comparison: When Luffy in One Piece got his crew together, he spend multiple volumes and at least three minor story arcs to get Zoro, Nami, Sanji and Usopp to join him. All while also giving us good insight into the kind of people his new crewmates were (especially Sanji’s and Nami’s backstory got to me), defeating the likes of Buggy and Captain Black, meeting Dracula Mihawk and defeating one of the biggest bastards Eichiro Oda ever created in form of Arlong. What is the story how Sam joins the crew? An orphanage organizes an auction and sells kids off. Which I assume was even illegal in pirate times, so kudos for already showing us how despicable the world of Alex ze Pirate is to begin with and how much it deserves to be nuked in some sort of alien invasion.

 Sam also doesn’t really get anything to do when he is introduced, just helping Alex escape on a small boat. Which is weird because he does not know her at all, she is just some stranger who bought him off and has no means to keep him in check, so why even bother following her and not let the mob get rid of Alex? 

Anyway, I wish I could tell more about Sam’s involvement in Legends, but I don’t have really more than some scans of it in the beginning and near the end. So I don’t know his involvement in the rest of the volume. I also can’t say how he plays out in volume two, because that does not exist at all. Cause for reasons I will never understand, Dobson just abandoned the idea of telling a “coherent” and ongoing story with Alex ze Pirate and instead went to his colored one page comics/strips with it, turning it into what some people called “Garfield with Pirates” (which I consider a genuine insult towards any newspaper comic out there, even something as Boondocks). And the first thing we see of Sam in “classic” Alex ze Pirate?

 The perverted dwarf of the crew showing of his shota underwear so that Alex and Sam stop bickering who is the cutest, leaving him embarrassed and humiliated.

 Which kinda sums up his role in the comic to a t. Cause this is what Sam is: He is the buttmonkey of the crew. And honestly, I would not have a total problem with Sam being a buttmonkey, if a) he wasn’t it all the time, b) he would actually do something to deserve any form of humiliation and c) if the other characters in this comic itself would not be some of the biggest assholes I have ever seen, who get away with abusing the poor lad.

 See, here is the problem: In a crew featuring a choleric homophobic soulless ginger

 A black rat person who wants to fuck the ginger even without her consent

 A furry abomination that has the same brain wavelengths as Chris Chan 

And a perverted dwarf who tries to impersonate Happosai from Ranma 1/2

 Sam is the only decent person in the entire crew. He works hard, he even questions the morality of his friends at times, he is honest, he is not perverted, almost good to the point of childish innocence and he has a very humble “goal” which is he wants to own his own piece of gold. Not even a big pile of treasure, just one single coin would be enough for him.

 So he is likeable and relatable. In fact, if anything goes by, he may have been one of the most popular ones in the comic. And yet he is the one who gets constantly abused by “fate” and his friends, because as Dobson would say it, he is supposed to be the buttmonkey. There is just one problem: People do not necessarily like buttmonkeys.

I can primarily speak only for myself here, but I hope what I have to say resonates with others too. See, I get it: A character who is the butt of a joke can be fun. Like Daffy in Duck Amuck. But there is a fine line where a character being humiliated for the sake of a joke is fun (and perhaps even deserved because of his own shortcomings or deeds/actions that make the humiliation sort of kharmic, like lets say Johnny Bravo) and a character being humiliated to the point it feels disproportional, unfunny and mean spirited if not outright sadistic, can be crossed. Take Meg Griffin from Family Guy for example whose only “purpose” for existing within the last 12+ years is to get shat on by her family and the writers. People have no idea for a plot with her, so what do they do? Have her father physically and emotionally abuse her, fart in her face for what is supposed to count as a joke and then add additional insult to it by acknowledging that they are only doing this, because they have no other idea for her and think abuse is fun. Let me just tell you from experience, it is not.

And that is essentially what Sam is: He is the Meg Griffin of Alex ze Pirate, used by his creator as the butt of very unfunny jokes, even if he does not deserve any of the things said or done to him. Want to see some examples?

 How about the description Dobson gives Sam within the introduction of one of his volumes, showing how little Dobson as the creator even cares for him.

Why is he called an unworthy “slob” if he is the only one who actually works? Shouldn’t a slob be someone like Dobson, who can’t even take care of himself anymore? Also the confirmation that he was kidnapped at the age of 16. And as we have no clarification how much time passed between Legends Vol. 1 and anything afterwards, that means that in a way Alex is a child abuser.

And now, here some examples by the rest of the cast. Like Uncle Peggy framing him for all sorts of his perverted actions and even trying to kill him for no apparent reason?

Alex trying to kill him with chicken pox…

…Destroying all his worldly posessions which is hilarious because he is a poor orphan…

…Essentially describing him as worthless because he was born with an Y-chromosome…

… doing the kind of thing Dobson claims women would never do to man, using their sex appeal to hurt them…

…forcing him to do some unnecessary and rather petty work for her in a physics defying manner (seriously, the way he holds the axe does not compute with how he swings it. Try it out yourself)

… stealing his food and just being a cruel sadistic cunt to him just because it is fun.

Which is “funny” in so far as that there are a few comics indicating she would jump his dick and ride it like a little pony if she could.

 By the way, Talus and Atea are not better. None of them calls Alex out on her bullshit on average, Atea uses Sam to trigger traps in one story arc…

And Talus, the closest to a “friend” he is supposed to have, once for no apparent reason made him dig through his litterbox

And don’t get me even started when the characters decide to gang up on Sam, to the point he gets sexually harassedor is called to be less worth as a human being than the dirt you find in your belly button

Fuck’s sake, even in fanart everyone gangs up on him, even the freaking big bad of the story everyone is supposed to hate or be afraid of

 Bottom line, Sam is an abuse victim played for laughs in this comics. And just to clarify, I do not think this was Dobson’s intention. But if the character is undeservingly the butt of jokes for the majority of over 120 strips, it turns nasty. The way Sam is treated, I just find disgusting and indictive of just how unlikable any other character in this comic is to the point I do not want to see this being turned into a proper “franchise”. And I assume others were disgusted by it too, cause Dobson eventually decided to make a story more or less addressing the treatment Sam receives, while also attempting to prove that deep down the assholes with starring roles in this trainwrack care for him. How did this play out? Well, I am going to talk about it, so likely not well. If you want to see the details, grab yourself some popcorn and take a toilet break before we tackle part 2 of this thing.

#andrew dobson #so you are a cartoonist #sjw #comics #comic #webcomic #alex ze pirate #sam the cabin boy #legends #tom preston #disgusting #male abuse #unfunny

[reading-while-queer]

The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For, Alison Bechdel

Rating: Great Read Genre: Graphic Novel Representation: -Lesbian ensemble cast -Racially diverse ensemble cast Trigger warnings: Reclaimed D-slur, animal death, cheating, divorce, cancer, casual transphobia, biphobia, and ableism, difficult topics ranging from war to AIDS to 9/11. Note: Not YA; sexually explicit

If you’re familiar with Fun Home or Are You My Mother? you’ll know what I mean when I say that Dykes to Watch Out For is no entry level work - though Dykes to Watch Out For is difficult for different reasons.  While Bechdel’s ruminations on her childhood, psyche, and sexuality require a decent amount of outside reading to be fully appreciated, Dykes to Watch Out For requires an equally rigorous knowledge of the political landscape of the past forty years.

But on the other hand, the more things change, the more they stay the same.  The wars, elections, discourse, and protests are not so unfamiliar.  If I had to pinpoint Dykes to Watch Out For’s continued importance to lesbians today in just one idea, it would be this: “Against the sweeping backdrop of history... everyday life pretty much continues” (371).  

It’s not a major theme of the work, yet it is the shape of the final tapestry.  Politics, discourse, trauma, and sickness make their ravages, and here we all are, much the same as we ever were 10, 20, 30 years ago: this pattern, far from intentional, emerges from the tide-like flow of 30 years of comics.  But it’s why Dykes to Watch Out For is so special.  And we have the privilege of going back to look into that reflection of the 80s, 90s, and 00s and recognize familiar features. The political scenery may be different (or, honestly, not so different) but has daily life changed much?

I first tried to read Dykes to Watch Out For as a curious high schooler, and my eyes glazed over.  Without having absorbed enough recent history through cultural osmosis, nor having developed a taste for gray morality, I just didn’t get it.  Two characters would have an argument on the page, both of them would make provocative points, and then Bechdel would refrain from telling her reader which was in the wrong.  Neither character was a straw man; it almost felt like Bechdel was arguing with herself, trying to decide what was right - if there even was a right answer.  I couldn’t wrap my mind around it, especially when the vocabulary and context were both tantalizingly out of reach.

Reading now, I found the once alien discourse all too familiar.  The same exact discussions were being had in 1985 as are being hashed out on Twitter.  One of a hundred examples is whether gay marriage is a buy-in to the privilege bestowed by heteronormativity. Bechdel asks if marriage is a patriarchal model that can be salvaged, but she doesn’t have an answer for you, just a prompt to chew on.

Another example is Bechdel’s discourse on the outliers of lesbian spheres: trans lesbians, trans men, genderqueer people, and bisexual lesbians (Would you believe that term is used in the text - and equally as contentiously?).  These are conversations we are all very familiar with.  However, this discourse is especially interesting in a work that took 30 years to write.  The reader combs through 30 years of metamorphosis in just a handful of hours.  Bechdel’s tongue-in-cheek “Whatever will they come up with next?” is printed in the same volume with genuine consternation on who is allowed to be a lesbian.

Trans women start as a punchline.  But on most topics, Dykes to Watch Out For tends, eventually, to stop itself to re-evaluate.  Thirty years later, one of the main characters IDs as genderqueer, finds herself meeting trans men and doing drag king shows, fights with her friends over their trans exclusivity, and in the end, ends up advocating for and co-parenting a teenage trans girl, who ends up a main character in her own right.  It’s one of Bechdel’s firmer positions on right and wrong, although she doesn’t hesitate to mouth the opposite argument, too.

Plenty of sympathetic characters say transphobic things which just hang in the air, unaddressed.  It’s maddening - but in sticking with the material, I got to see the characters who flubbed the pronouns and complained about gender confusion eventually get in line - changes which are not commented upon and happen so gradually in the thirty years over which the comic was written, that they mimic how change happens in real life.  In our own lives, change may seem impossible, but then you blink, a decade has passed since you first came out, and half the homophobes have come around.  Much the same for Dykes to Watch Out For, which is almost as much a memoir as Fun Home (albeit of Bechdel’s discourse rather than her life).  I think every cisgender lesbian should read it - it’s a powerful antidote against TERFism, not because it lays down the law, but because it meets you where you are and gives you the chance to say your piece without ridicule, before taking you by the hand and showing you something kinder. If Dykes to Watch Out For has anything to teach us, it’s that hard lines in the sand make you look like a dick thirty years later.  Take Sparrow’s story arc.  Mo, Lois, and Ginger are thrown when their friend Sparrow starts dating a man.  They say some rotten things about how betrayed they are, how they don’t know if they can trust Sparrow anymore, or her politics - but when they are overheard, the “discourse” suddenly becomes real.  That’s their friend, and her feelings are hurt.  What else can you do for your friend who has spent decades of her life as a lesbian, whose identity is culturally and socially interwoven with lesbianism, and who identifies as a bisexual lesbian - except love her?

A frequent lesson is that anyone can be reactionary - even the left-est of leftists.  Years later, when Sparrow faces an accidental pregnancy, her friends overwhelmingly pressure her to keep the baby, not because of their politics, but because of their excitement - yet the impact, if not the intent, is anti-choice.  It’s ideas like these being brought to the forefront that make Dykes to Watch Out For something special.

In her introduction to the book, Bechdel frets over both keeping up with the changing current of discourse (XVI) 

...and her own role in shaping that discourse (XVII)

But her work speaks for itself: if we are to do right by one another, we must prioritize one another, not the rules.  The same conversations will be had again, and again, and again, from 1983 until we all go blue in the face.  We can’t control someone angrily shouting into the room (or Twitter timeline) “but WHAT about BISEXUAL LESBIANS?” and the chaos that follows - but we can accept that someone will shout it again in twenty years, and that the following chaos will be so nearly identical to the previous chaos as to challenge whether it is chaos at all, or just the universe putting on a matinee performance of the same old song and dance.  Is it useful to put on your tap shoes and sing along?  Or do you end up hurting the feelings of a genuine friend who just happens to be one of the outliers this time around?

Dykes to Watch Out For is thought-provoking (as you can see, my thoughts have been well and truly provoked), occasionally in poor taste, but mostly surprisingly sympathetic, both to its more marginalized characters, and to its wrong-doers - this comic doesn’t have any villains.  The initial gag, that Bechdel would write a catalog of lesbians like a lepidopterist giving clinical attention to a series of specimens, works to her favor.  There are no bad lesbians and good lesbians.  At least, not essentially.  This approach lends Dykes to Watch Out For more staying power than it might otherwise have had - it’s relatable.  You know these people.  You’ve had some of these arguments, and hurt each other’s feelings over them.  Your friends live in the mildewy house that’s kept at 64 degrees in the winter, where you’re as likely to be walked in on in the bathroom as not, a home where everyone in the friend group feels free to stop by.  

Here in the future, we have the immense privilege of watching how these parallel lives to ours play out.  The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For may be a comic for a different generation, but Bechdel has given us something fascinating from both a history and literary perspective.  She has put to paper a sprawling epic about lesbians growing from their twenties to their forties, getting married (or not), progressing their careers, having children, having PTA meetings, having affairs, and doing civil disobedience with their kids.  Rarely do we see the map from here to there laid out so meticulously.  I read this book voraciously, both the earlier chapters that relate to life as a new adult, and the later chapters, which serve as a window into what life was, and could be.

For more from Alison Bechdel, visit her Twitter here.

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