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#especially since it was literally just us
canthelpit0 · 2 days
Text
“We’ll figure it out”
Pairing: Inexperienced!Matt x Inexperienced!Reader
Wordcount: 5.9k +
Summary: what happens when you hook up with your long time best friend? Except both of you are virgins.
Warnings: Smut, nasty, language, use of y/n, pet names (pretty boy, sweetheart, pretty girl, etc), reader has a cat named sun, study session, oral m!receiving, brief crying, oral f!receiving, praise kink, fingering, cowgirl, no protection (wrap it up!), she’s not on BC, creampie
(A/N: English is not my first language. So sorry for any mistakes. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy xx)
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You have known the triplets since middle school, and you’ve been close to all of them.
Well, especially with Nick.
Everything was fine, you weren’t too popular, but you also weren’t overlooked. you were middle class, not poor but also not rich. You were pretty, but never got too much attention because of it.
Little do you know, but you’re gorgeous. If you wanted to you could easily be one of the popular girls in school. But you didn’t care for it. High school was temporary, and you knew that.
And that’s exactly what Matt admires about you.
Matt is pretty introverted, and especially around freshmen year, you and his brothers would quite literally have to force him to go to school.
Now he was more calm though. Sometimes his anxiety would mess with him, but he overcame it with you and his brother's help.
For the fact that you’ve only known them since middle school, you went over to their house quite a lot. But sometimes they’d come over to yours as well.
Matt was a virgin. Most people would think that. He’s awkward in social situations and pretty shy and introverted before you get to know him.
Though, he’s had a short-term girlfriend before. Wich, at least was something.
You never dated anyone. You never cared to. You’d much rather focus on your friends and school, than some boy.
You were a virgin. It wasn’t like you never watches porn, or were innocent really. You just never got to the point of losing it to someone. Everything you’ve done was by yourself.
Wich would be fine. But you were in senior year now, and the year was almost over. Most people around you had already lost it, and you felt left out.
You were sitting at lunch, listening to Chris drone on and on about some girl he hooked up with. You purse your lips, your apatite disappearing more and more.
Suddenly Chris looks over to you. “Y/n how was your first time?”
You tense up, Taking in a harsh breath.
“Chris! You don’t just ask shit like that” Nick huffs hitting Chris on the arm.
Matt, who was sitting next to you, puts his hand on your thigh in comfort.
You squint your eyes at Chris, judging him. Or at least you try to make it look judgy.
You lean further into Matt’s side. His physical presence was keeping you grounded.
And when matt noticed just that, he takes his hand off of your thigh and instead wrapped it around your waist to pull you even closer.
“That’s none of your business.” You huff staring back at Chris.
But internally you were embarrassed because you were still a virgin.
★ ★ ★
You had planned a sleepover and study night with matt a few days ago. Essentially, he’d come to your house on Friday, and you would study. until you got tired of it and watched a movie or something.
So after school matt drove his brothers home and then drove to your house.
You got out of the car, watching as Matt reached into the backseat to grab his overnight bag.
You couldn’t help but think back to lunch break when Chris had made that comment. Chris was a player, and you knew that.
But everybody around you had lost their v card, and you just felt so left behind.
Matt huffs snapping his fingers in front of your face. You blink. He takes the keys out of your hand, grabbing your forearm to pull you to the door.
“You back with me y/n/n?” Matt ask. He looks over his shoulder as he blindly fiddles with your house keys.
“Yeah, sorry. zoned out.” You answer simply.
Matt chuckles at the flat response. He looks back at the door and finally twists it open. You two both walk in, both of you taking your shoes on.
“Hello, we’re back” Matt says loudly into the room.
You put on your house shoes and so does Matt.
You look over your shoulder at Matt with an amused expression. “Matt they already left” you huff.
“What? I thought they were gonna leave at 4?” He asks, pulling out his phone from his jean's back pocket.
It’s 4.26 pm
“Oh.” He says flatly staring at his screen.
Your parents had driven out for the weekend to your grandparents house. It was a few hours away. You hadn’t wanted to go, because for one you had already made plans for the sleepover with Matt.
And also because you had the test on Monday and you wanted to study the weekend away.
You were probably not going to anyway, but in theory..
“Yeah. oh.” You roll your eyes. Your siblings went with your parents so the house was empty. It’d be the perfect opportunity for a house party.
But you weren’t one to party, and your parents trusted you.
You and Matt walk to your kitchen. Well, it’s just matt trailing behind you.
“You want a drink?” You ask simply while you take out a Pepsi can for yourself and then put it on the counter nearest.
Matt comes up behind you. He looks over your shoulder scanning the contents of the fridge.
“Pepsi please,” he says under his breath.
You take out another can and then proceed to put it next to your can on the counter.
You slam the fridge door shut. You feel Matt turn you around before he’s hugging you. His arms wrap around your waist as he buries his face in your neck.
Matt had always been a big softie. No matter how much he loves to deny it he loves hugs and being all sappy and shit.
His own love language was acts of service though. He’d do anything for someone he likes.
And so if he finds a song that reminds him of you, he’ll tell you. If you are hungry, he’s immediately googling places to eat. If you look slightly sad or upset, even though you just have a resting bitch face, he’s immediately doing something stupid to make you laugh.
You know each other in and out.
He knows you love physical touch. So he’d make it a point to hug you at least once a day.
The day was long and draining. It was a normal boring school day.
His hug is warm, his arms feel firm around you.
And despite not having known him since kindergarten or something, it feels like you’ve known him forever.
You can’t think of any future scenario without him in your life.
“You always smell so good” he mumbles, dramatically nuzzling his face into the side of your neck.
You chuckle at the compliment.
“Come on pretty boy, we gotta study.” You hum slightly pulling away. Matt dramatically groans in response but reluctantly pulls away.
You pick up the two Pepsi cans and start to walk back to the stairs.
Matt grabs both of your school bags and carries them upstairs with him.
Once you’re in your room you pull out your desk chair and sit down.
Matt puts both your backpacks against the wall. He walks towards the bed to sit down when he spots your cat.
“Sunny” he exclaims excitedly. As much as Matt would love to say he’s a dog person. He loves your cat.
She’s and orange Persian cat. Her hair is fluffy and long. She looks like a ball of hair all curled up in your bedsheets like that.
You look over to matt and your bed. You watch as your cat looks up at him and he coos at her. He slowly sits down and starts to pet your cat.
★ ★ ★
By now two hours of studying had passed. You were both now sitting on the floor on your carpet, the study material all sprawled out across from you.
You and Matt were sitting next to each other, your cat still sleeping on your bed.
“Matt I’m bored” you whine loudly. You throw your head back dramatically and groan.
Matt looks over at you watching you as you complain. He looks mildly agitated himself.
Before he can protest and tell you that you two need to continue studying you start to put the pages and books on top of each other.
Once no books and loose papers are sprawled out anymore you sit back again.
“Y/n” he rolls his eyes and you can feel the lecture incoming.
“Matt please, I’m literally about to die of boredom.”
“You’re so dramatic” he scoffs watching you.
And for a moment You two just look at each other. Neither of you say anything. You just stare. Your face relaxes out of the pout. Matt looks over your features like he’s admiring you for the first time. Like you’re a piece of art.
You can feel yourself start to grow hot. The tension in the room skyrockets.
“You’re so pretty you know that,” Matt says under his breath. Matt leans over on his arm leaning closer to you.
Your mind is blank, and you can’t come up with an answer. You just take in the compliment.
“So fucking gorgeous” he sighs and before either of you knew it his lips are on yours.
You freeze for a second your eyes wide. But like it’s an instinct you immediately kiss back.
Matt’s hand finds its way to your jaw holding you in place, while he tilts his head to the side to deepen the kiss.
You were sitting Chris-cross while Matt was sitting on his legs, sitting just a bit higher than you.
After a while of just innocently kissing, he pulls away. You two stay close though. His eyes instantly widen as if he knew he fucked up.
“Fuck- I’m sorry” he breaths out, taking his hand from your face.
You sit up. Uncrossing your legs. you shift to sit on them, fully facing a blushing Matt. And you’re sure you have a matching red hue on your cheeks as well.
“No.”
the statement catches Matt off guard. He immediately looks back over at you, confused.
As soon as he looks back over at you, you reconnect your lips with his. He sighs into the kiss. His open mouth grants you the opening you need as you swiftly slip your tongue into his mouth.
You’re a virgin. That doesn’t mean you’re fully inexperienced tho.
You two make out heavily for a while. Making out like you’re trying to feel every part of each other.
Somehow you ended up in a position with you straddling Matt, as he has his legs sprawled out.
You pull away, both of you breathing hard.
“Y/n..” Matt starts his voice shaky.
He averts his eyes, the blush on his cheeks and even deeper red than before.
“I’m a virgin” he admits under his breath.
You thought for sure that Matt wasn’t. You were. But you also never dated anyone. Matt used to have a girlfriend though. But he’d never done it?
“Like fully?” You ask out of curiosity.
But it wasn’t like you wanted to use him. You liked him for being, himself. His presence made you flustered, feeling butterflies in your stomach, and all giddy.
“Yeah” he breaths out. You watch him close his eyes as if willing his embarrassment to leave. “I’ve never, done anything..”
You pause thinking of the best way to reply. “Neither have I.” You say softly, feeling mildly flustered as well. But both of you were inexperienced. You were in the same boat.
He pauses for a second at the reply. It was obvious that he thought you at least had one body. He didn’t think you were a virgin too.
“You… you wanna try?” He questions. Now he looks a lot less embarrassed than he did just a few seconds ago.
You bite the inside of your cheek. “If you want to?”
He pulls you back in for another kiss by the back of your neck. The kiss is shorter and more reassuring.
Matt pulls out of the kiss his hands going to your waist “We can figure it out?” He asks hopefully.
You nod in agreement. You could feel Matt’s bulge through his pants with the way you were sitting. And you could feel yourself aching.
What’s the harm in trying. He’s your best friend after all. Besides you’d finally lose it, and to someone you trust.
You peck his lips briefly before you get up off of his lap.
Matt gets up off of the ground too. You pick up your cat and wake her in the process. She meows at you in annoyance before you chuckle and put her on the ground.
Matt opens the door as Sunny finally but reluctantly leaves the room.
You pull off your shirt tossing it away. Matt turns around to see you sitting on your bed with your top discarded, your bra in full view. His eyes widen.
He licks his lips, his eyes shamelessly tracing your body.
Matt comes to hover over you while you sit there. “You’re such a tease” he chuckles. He leans down to capture your lips in a brief kiss again.
It was like he couldn’t get enough of your lips.
“Get on the ground,” Matt says, his tone more demanding and rough with lust.
You obey. You slide off your bed, getting on your knees on the ground.
Matt tugs his shirt off throwing it off to the side. He unbuckles his belt and undoes the button and zipper on his jeans before finally sliding them off and tossing them away.
You curiously watch. The only men you’d seen in this position were in pornos. This though, was your best friend since middle school.
Sometimes you forgot he was an actual man with a dick and all.
And right now, seeing the imprint of his cock through his boxers felt surreal.
He starts to tug on his boxers. Your eyes go up to meet his. “Ever gotten your dick sucked?” You ask sarcastically to cover up how nervous you are.
“No.” He breaths out. While continuing to look down at you he finally pulls down his boxers. He tosses them away too.
Your eyes trail from his eyes to his lips, over his jawline and his chest, down to his dick. The dick that was rock hard and right in front of your face.
Your eyes widen, as you sit back your hands staying on your knees as you just stare.
His tip was the same red he had on his cheeks, leaking pre cum. He had a vain running up his shaft. You always thought that male body part was rather disgusting looking.
But the way Matt’s looks right now…
You don’t know if it’s just the burning lust running through your body. But you actually really wanted to taste that.
Your hand goes to cup his aching cock. He lets out a sharp sigh at the feeling. You touch it gently. You don’t move your hand and stay careful of your manicured nails.
“I don’t know what I’m doing” you breathe out. While you do, you gently start to move your hand up and down your length slowly jerking him off.
“I don’t either,” he tilts his head forwards closing his eyes for a secound. “Keep going we’ll figure it out,” Matt assures you.
His hand goes to the back of your head. His hand starts to smooth down your hair.
“C’mon baby, don’t be shy” he coos staring down at you. Matt looks down at you like he’s done this a billion times before when he claims he never had.
But you guess one of you at least had to pretend that you were understanding what you’re doing right now.
You lean forward leaving a tender kiss on the tip. You do what you think someone would do in this situation.
The way he shudders at the simple touch though, shows that he is in fact, not experienced.
In hindsight, you don’t know why you thought that he was experienced. You just assumed.
“You think this will fuck up our friendship?” You ask while still slowly jerking him off.
Matt’s breaths are slightly shaky, but he chuckles at the question.
“No. I won’t let it.” He huffs.
“So..” you pause your movements. You glance down at his dick and the way your manicured hand wraps around it. And how huge it looks.
You then look back up at him through your lashes. “How am I supposed to do this?” You ask uncertainly.
“I don’t know.” He pauses to lick his lips. The way you, his best friend, look up at him through your lashes like that, was making him even more aroused.
“Just do what you feel like. But be careful of your teeth.” He says slowly. he wasn’t even sure himself.
You raise your eyebrow at his vague response. Neither of you knew how to do it, so you might as well imitate the porn that you’ve watched.
You drag you tongue up his shaft, keeping your eyes locked on his. When you’re at the tip you lick up all the pre cum leaking. You keep eye contact with matt, and it was driving him crazy.
He lets out shaky breaths. He was clearly enjoying this.
You kiss his tip again, before wrapping your lips around his tip. You slowly swirl your tongue around it trying to see how he’ll react.
You watch him to see if he likes it or not.
“Yeah, like that,” he says under his breath staring down at you.
With his praise and encouragement, you start to take him further down your throat. Slowly and carefully.
Matt whispers praises into the quiet room. All of them go right to your core and boost your ego.
You eventually feel comfortable enough to bob your head. You were jerking off what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. You were bobbing your head at a rhythmic pace and hollowing out your cheeks occasionally.
“I’m close-“ Matt whines. He actually whines.
And that sound. The power you had to make him sound like that was making you feel even more confident.
You don’t slow down your pace. You just keep going.
Until matt puts your hair in a makeshift ponytail. He tugs on it hard, to keep you still. He starts at a gentle but fast pace.
You feel your eyes fog up. The constant hit to the back of your throat makes you gag slightly.
His pace starts to become more and more sloppy as the seconds pass though.
You feel his dick hit the back of your throat before you suddenly feel your mouth be filled.
You feel his sticky load shoot down your throat. He pants, pulling at your hair to pull you off.
You swallowed what you could. But still, you feel a bit of it roll down your chin.
“Sh, sorry no don’t cry.” He immediately panics cupping your face in his hands. He looks down at you, worried. As if he thinks he went too far.
He wipes away the tears. The tears that you hadn’t even noticed had fallen.
Sighing, you can’t help the smile that forms on your face. “I’m okay Matty” you breathe out softly. His facial expression visibly relaxes at the statement.
“I’m sorry if that was too hard”
“It wasn’t, you’re good.” You stand up.
You immediately go to undo your own jeans. You slip out of them, throwing them off to the side.
His eyes roam over your body. The air is thick, both of your bodies pulsing with pure lust and awe.
You watch as his half-hard dick gets hard again.
You chuckle at the reaction. You teasingly take your bra off. And once you unclasp it, it’s Thrown across the room to the rest of your clothes.
His eyes trail your body again. He can’t help himself at the way your boobs look. He’s always admired you from afar. He never thought he’d ever be able to see you like this.
Sure he had imagined you two together like this before, but he never thought he’d actually get to see it. Besides, the real thing, the euphoria, it all felt better than he could’ve ever thought.
“So pretty, baby” he sighs. His hand goes to your chest. you could tell he’d never done this before just by the way he touched you like you were fragile.
But neither of you knowing what you were doing only made this more thrilling.
His hands go to your waist as he pushes you back onto your bed. He hovers over you for a moment, before crashing his lips back onto yours.
You kiss back, but you mostly let him take the lead. After he breaks the kiss, You feel him start to trail his kisses down your jawline and neck, while needing your breast in his hand.
He sits up again putting his other hand on your chest and needing it too, watching the way his hands look wrapped around your tits.
He sighs getting off of you and between your legs.
“Tell me when it feels good, sweetheart, alright?” He hums. He pulls at your panties, taking them off and half-heartedly throwing them away.
His eyes stay locked on your pussy. He admires it, like it’s the first time he’s seen it, which it is.
He puts your legs over his shoulders to give himself a better angle. He uses his middle finger to brush through your folds experimentally, watching you in awe.
You sigh at the contact on your folds. You’ve never been touched there. But Matt’s touch felt so incredibly comforting and good.
Your core was aching, pulsing around nothing. And Matt watched.
After a moment he kissed just above your clit. Kissing a trail down to your clit, before harshly starting to suck on it.
Your moan tears through the room. You were startled by how bold and confident he acted.
He groans into your core at your taste on his tongue. The groan sends pleasure coursing through you and chills down your spine.
“Fuck- matt” you whine. Your thighs clench around his head trying to get him closer. Your hand finds its way to his hair tugging on it slightly.
Your other hand berries in the sheets, trying to find something to hold onto. “God- have you done this before?” You ask rhetorically not expecting an answer.
He licks a stripe up your folds and starts to move his tongue against your sensitive nub. You whine and he chuckles.
“No.” He mumbles against you in answer. You throw your head back in pleasure your eyes briefly closing.
You feel Matt pull at you, tilting his head slightly for a deeper angle.
He was eating you out like you were his last meal. But beyond that also like this would be the only time he got to taste your sweet juices.
“Matt, fuck yeah- just like that.” You keep praising him. You notice how it boosts his confidence and in turn, makes this even more pleasurable for you.
You feel a finger brush at your cunt. Before you feel it slide in. Your hand immediately tugs harder at his hair. Your back arches slightly as you throw your head back in pleasure.
He thrusts his middle finger in and out of your tight cunt. He was turning his hand slightly, twisting it and turning it to get a feel for your body and how you react. And to also make you loosen up a bit.
You whine in discomfort. Matt detaches his lips from your clit still hovering close though.
“You okay sweetheart?” He says lowly under his breath.
Your moaning was loud and echoing through the room.
You sit up in your forearms staring down at him and the way he was fingering you like that. Watching the way his finger disappeared in your tight cunt.
“I’m good”
The words come up a bit slurred. The pleasure of him finger fucking you like that, was making your head feel all fuzzy.
“Never fingered yourself, baby?” He asks teasingly. You watch him and the way he steadies himself on his other arm.
He readjusts his finger, curling it up roughly hitting your sweet spot right on.
The touch sends shivers of pleasure down your spine making you shut your eyes and throw your head back.
“Matt, matt-“ you chant his name like a prayer. It’s the only thing you can think of. Him. And only him. That’s all that’s relevant right now.
He slips his second finger into your soaked core with ease. You barely even notice the second finger added. Until he starts to scissor them apart to stretch your insides even further.
He keeps thrusting his fingers in and out of you harshly. Curling them at just the right spots to make your vision blur.
You lay back down fully, as he is now sitting up more.
“Yeah pretty girl, that feel good?” He asks. Your back arches and your mouth falls open in a silent moan.
He leans up further, your legs fall from his shoulders as he hovers over your lower body. He puts his whole hand on your lower stomach applying gentle pressure on it to keep you down on the bed.
“I’m close-“ you breathe out between loud moans.
“good girl, come for me.” You shudder at the pet name. Your thighs shake slightly at the burning intensity of his gaze and the way his fingers curl at just the right spots.
You squirm under his gaze. And suddenly you feel the intense knot in your stomach snap. You feel him continue to finger fuck you, while your entire body feels burning hot.
You feel so warm and overwhelmed by the euphoria flowing through your veins. It feels better than any high you have ever experienced. Not that you’ve experienced a lot.
Once you ride out your high you breathe hard. Your eyes stay closed as you lay back on your bed.
Matt gently pulls out his fingers, making you whine at the loss of contact.
He lays down on your duvet next to you, turns to his side, and watches you.
You also turn to face him after a moment. You two just look at each other.
Matt looks at you with such intense adoration and love, it’s crazy.
“You actually wanna loose your virginity now?” He asks gently. Ignoring the fact that he was rock-hard.
You two so far had only given each other pleasure, but you hadn’t lost your virginity yet.
“Yes” you breathe out. You feel ready now more than you ever have before. Especially if you get to lose it to matt.
He licks his lips looking over your face.
“I don’t have a condom.” He says simply looking back at you. He knew you weren’t on the pill. He’d be fine doing it some other day.
“That’s fine.” You say though , catching him off guard. How desperate do you have to be to let him raw dog it?
“You’re not on the pill tho?” He questions.
“I’m not” you confirm simply. He raises an eyebrow waiting for further explanation. “You can pull out or something.” You shrug.
“That sounds tacky.” He huffs a laugh at how ridiculous that sounds.
“Doesn’t matter, we’ll deal with that tomorrow morning. Just please fuck me?”
You think he’s going to refuse Until he suddenly pulls you on top of him. You sit on his torso for a moment before you get the memo.
“You want me to ride you?” You ask slowly.
“If you’re not comfortable we can switch?” He offers. But why would you decline to ride him?
You shake your head no, before starting to slide down on his torso feeling his length glide between your soaked folds.
“Can’t be that hard?” You question rather skeptically.
In your opinion matt didn’t seem small. Though you had nothing to compare it to. All the girls in porn seemed to struggle with something that looked as big as Matt.
So either this would be really hard or easy for you. But either way, you wanted to try.
“You’re okay, we’ll go slow” he chuckles at your nervousness but is secretly just as scared. “And I’ll help you.” He assures.
You lift yourself hovering over his crotch area. You take in a harsh breath grabbing his dick and hovering over it.
Matt’s hand goes to it too holding it up. While your hand goes to your cunt as you gently and slowly sink down on it.
You both moan at the contact. Getting in the tip was hard. But once that was in you felt like you could easily slide down the rest of it, not that it wouldn’t hurt.
Matt’s free hand goes to your waist, guiding you like he said he would.
“Doing so good, princess.” You whine at the praise, but ultimately slowly skink down further..
Matt keeps your movements steady as you keep doing your thing. His second hand also goes to your waist using it to steady your movements further.
“Fuck so big.” You moan. Your thighs tense as you pull it out slightly. You could feel the stretch burn.
“It’s okay sweetheart. you only got a couple inches left.” He assures you as he starts guiding you back lower on him. Your cunt was aching around him harshly.
“Fuck-“ you sigh. You can’t help yourself when you take one of his hands from your waist and interlock your hands. You need the moral support.
“Such a good girl,” Matt says as you start to gently bounce on what you have fit so far.
He was occasionally groaning. Your moans filled the room, the air in the room staying hot.
He squeezes your hand. You close your eyes at the mixture of pleasure and pain. When you close your eyes he lets his eyes wander down to where your bodies meet.
He’d never done this and this felt so incredibly good. The sight alone could make him come right then and there.
Matt wasn’t dumb, he knew he had quite the dick. It wasn’t small by any means. And he knew that. It was amusing Watching you struggle with what you had, knowing there were at least still 3 more inches to go.
“You okay?” He asks again just to make sure you are okay.
The pain had subsided and you felt the pleasure. Sure you could take more but you were nervous to. This wasn’t as easy as it looked or as You thought it’d be.
“I’m okay” you sigh. You keep yourself gently and slowly bouncing on the upper half of the length of his cock.
Matt knows you really well. And matt just knows you can take more than that, Despite being a virgin himself. It was just a gut feeling. “Baby, I’m gonna need you to bear with me alright?”
Before you can respond, his hand on your waist tightens, and he squeezes your hand that’s intertwined with his. He rams you down on his dick harshly, making you take it as much as you physically could.
Your legs tense up at the harsh treatment. Your eyes close as a moan is ripped out your lungs. You clench so unbelievably tight around him. And just the sight of himself buried so deep inside of you could have him come at the spot.
He groans at the feeling of it as well. “Good-“ he breathes out. “Such a good girl.”
He keeps his hand intertwined with yours for moral support. His hand trails from your waist over your side soothingly.
You sigh at the feeling of him being completely in you. It’s a foreign feeling. It just feels so full.
“I feel so fucking stuffed” you groan dramatically. You let your head hang forward your mouth open in a silent moan.
“Oh, you’re so gonna be stuffed” he huffs. And somehow, even though pregnancy and birth scares the hell out of you, this type of dirty talk was extremely hot to you.
You huff in response starting to grind into him. You grind on his dick, his Hand on your hips helping you as you slowly try to get used to the size.
You sigh pulling all of your hair back out of your face again. You readjust your legs, taking your hand out of Matt’s. You shift, leaning on your arms to lean back slightly.
You start to carefully ride him your moans and whines still audible. Your head is thrown back in pleasure.
Matt watches the way your body moves in awe. Groaning every so often when you clench around him.
His hand goes to rest over your lower stomach, his thumb goes to rub on your clit gently. “Matt.” You gasp at the sudden added pleasure.
You can’t help yourself when you lean back forward. You just really want to see Matt’s face while you ride him.
“So good for me baby, keep going” he encourages. And with his words, you readjust again now pulling out more and ramming yourself back down.
You feel the knot in your stomach get tighter. You feel really good riding him like this, listening to his mumbles of praise and encouragement.
You continue to bounce on him, now chasing your high. And the harsher you slam yourself down the louder you and matt get. The room is filled with your noises as well as skin clapping loudly, and your lewd wetness.
After a few seconds you feel the knot snap. You lean over him, your arms on either side of his head catching you. Your high feels incredible, the heat washing over you like a wave.
Matt’s hand on your waist gets bruisingly harsh. He holds you in place while he thrusts up into you. You whine at the way he fucks you through your high. He was chasing his own now.
“Where do you want it.” His breath is harsh. He choked out the words in his lust-filled voice. He wasn’t asking, he was demanding to know.
“Inside.” You grit out. You bite your lip harshly, feeling your high subside and overstimulation slowly take over.
Matt grunts an agreement and you feel his thrusts get more sloppy and harsh. Until he gives you one last thrust, finally stopping his movements. He pulls you down to sit on him while spurts of his release shoot up into you.
You were pulsing around him, practically milking him for all he’s got. “Such a good girl” matt breathes out. One of his hands goes to trail over your stomach slightly.
He feels the slight bulge in your stomach from his sheer size.
The idea that this is how you make children is crazy to you. And the fact that you just did that with your best friend.
“How’re you feeling?” He asks softly staring up at you lovingly.
“Warm” you respond truthfully. His sticky seed inside of you makes your core feel all warm, along with the fact that you haven’t gotten off of it yet.
“Do you regret it?” He asks gently. After all, you two were best friends, and he had just lost his virginity to you and also taken yours.
Despite being terrified of the fact that you let him raw dog this, you didn’t regret it. In fact, you felt content, you love matt dearly.
“No” you don’t hesitate. You never realized how much you love Matt. He was just always there with you, he was always your best friend. You couldn’t imagine a future without him.
“You’re paying for the plan b pill tho” you chuckle.
He huffs a laugh. you carefully lift yourself off of him feeling your combined juices leak. You can see Matt watching, his eyes focused on your pussy. Watching the way you’re filled to the brim.
You kneel next to him, as you watch him sit up. “Come on sweetheart let’s get you cleaned up.”
Masterlist
A/N: I know this isn’t the most original idea, but I haven’t read any ffs where both of them are virgins. But if there is one that’s similar to mine, just know it was not intentional. In that case, If someone gives me the @ I can credit them.
Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturnioloos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangepepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo
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blue-blue-blooms · 2 days
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A Little Crush   
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Eddie Munson x Henderson!Reader
Part 1
Summary: In which Eddie develops a crush on the Henderson sister.
You weren't sure exactly when your life had gone to absolute shit. Was it when you found a strange, superpowered adolescent girl living in Mike Wheeler's basement? Was it when you walked in on a baby demogorgan eating your cat? Or was it when you were drugged by evil Russians operating under Starcourt Mall? You couldn't even remember a time when life was normal. If someone had told you that you would become best friends with Steve 'The Hair' Harrington and fight literal monsters from an alternate universe alongside Nancy Wheeler and Jonathan 'The Creep' Byers a few years ago, you would've laughed in their face. Now? You'd survived the most traumatising events of your life alongside these people. You were bonded for life.
The last few years had also made you closer with Dustin. You loved your baby brother and his weird friends, especially since you'd spent so much time babysitting them. But no amount of love could make you say yes to what they were asking of you.
"Please?" Dustin begged, following you down the hallway as you made your way to Ms. O'Connell's class.
"No! I have, like, three essays due this week, Dustin. I don't have the time to sub." You respond.
"It's only for tonight! Lucas can't make it and we really need a sub. We're nearly done with the campaign and Eddie will kill us if we make him reschedule!" Dustin pleads.
You were really happy that Dustin and Mike had found a safe space in high school. Lord knows those two idiots needed it. Freshmen year is probably the toughest of them all. You're new, scared, and lonely. You were really glad that they'd found friends, a place where they could be their nerdy selves and feel accepted. Hell, even you'd dabbled in their interests when you'd babysat them. DnD wasn't half bad, and not nearly as hard to undertand as you once thought. You'd spent many nights in Mike's basement playing with them. The first few times, you'd get your character killed in the first fifteen minutes. But after a while, you started making progress (even though you're convinced that the party was exceptionally lenient with you after you once burst into tears over getting killed off).
"I'll do your half of the chores for a week!" Dustin exclaims.
That makes you stop.
"A week?" You turn around to look at him, "Make it two weeks and I'll sub."
"Two? Are you insane!?" Dustin yells, making a few people lingering in the hallway turn and look at you both.
"Two or no deal, Dusty Buns," You tease, "And be quick, I'm late for my class."
"Fine!" Dustin says, "And stop calling me 'Dusty Buns'"
"Why? Is that nickname just for Suzy Poo?" You tease.
Dustin glowers at you as you walk off.
♡♡♡
"So, who's the DM?" You ask as you walk alongside Dustin and Mike.
"It's Eddie, Eddie Munson. He's a senior. Long hair, wears a hellfire T-Shirt, I talk about him constantly. God, do you ever listen to me?" Dustin claims exasperatedly.
"Oh! Eddie as in your new favorite older male best friend who Steve's weirdly jealous of?" You ask, "I've seen him around. Is he the one who jumps on lunch tables and yells a lot?"
"Yup." Mike responded, "He's a bit scary when he's revved up. Just warning you beforehand in case he comes off...a bit intimidating."
You nod.
"Hasn't he been held back, like, three times?" You ask.
Before either of the boys could answer, you reach the room. The first thing you see is the table where the game is set. There are three boys sat around, all with Hellfire T-Shirts on. Your eyes fleet from one to the other until finally landing on Eddie. You recognise him immediately from the amount of times you've seen him yelling in the cafeteria.
Dustin and Mike failed to mention how cute he was, you think.
His hair was long and wavy. He was wearing multiple rings. And he was covered in tattoos. You're pretty sure you saw a few bats peeking from under his sleeve.
"Who's this?" One of the guys asks, making all three turn around and look at you.
"This is Y/N! She's subbing for Lucas!" Mike says, the words spilling out fast and nervously.
Why the hell are they so jittery?
"Yeah, she's my sister! The one I mentioned a couple days ago." Dustin adds.
"Does she even know how to play DnD?" The other boy asks.
"Okay, excuse me, I wouldn't have come if I didn't know how to play," You finally speak, waving your hand a little to get their attention.
"So, this is your infamous sister?" Eddie finally speaks, his eyes landing on you, "You know, I thought he made you up. What's your class and level? Level One Elf?"
Elf? Is he mocking me?
"Are you mocking me?" You ask incredously.
"Is he mocking me?" you turn towards Dustin and Mike who immediately start gesticulating, probably asking you to shut up.
"My name is Aeren Sirenfall and I'm a level 14 chaotic good half-elf rogue. I will sneak behind any monster you throw my way and stab them in the back with my poison-soaked kukri. And I'll smile as I watch them die a slow...agonising...death." You say, your voice slow and hard as you glare at Eddie, "So, are we gonna play this stupid game or not?"
You're pretty sure you hear one of the boys mutter a 'she's terrifying' to Dustin.
You watch as Eddie's eyes slowly soften and a grin emerges on his face, "Welcome to Hellfire Club."
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rubyuji · 2 days
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The Reason for My Smile (Kim Mingyu) 🪡
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“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” ✮⋆˙
Genre: Angst, Fluff
AU: University!au, Nonidol!au
Pairing: Ex!Chan x Fem!Reader, Brother’s Best Friend!Mingyu x Fem!Reader (Literally Seungcheol’s younger sister)
Warnings: A bit of cursing, a break up over text but that’s about it.
Synopsis: Diving into a long-term relationship is scary for anyone for that matter, except the breakup from yours had left you traumatized because it happened over text. From then on you vowed to never wear your heart on your sleeve ever again, but your brother’s own best friend promised to change your perspective.
Note: My first ever Seventeen fic on this account, so it’s still a work in progress, but it’s definitely something! (Esp since I haven’t written in awhile). It used to be an Enhypen fic originally, but it took a lot of editing and proofreading, along with a lot of changes. Happy reading! Don’t forget to like + reblog! It would mean the world.
Word Count: 7.7k words (I’ve never written so much)
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Your relationship with Chan wasn’t precisely the dreamy or ideal relationship you had hoped for but as someone who had almost no experience, put that and being a people pleaser together, and you have whatever is left of your so-called relationship.
It’s not like Chan was a bad person or anything, the boy was quite the softie, so he’s probably just as overwhelmed as you were when it came to dating.
The latter part of the relationship consisted of you trying to understand him as best as you could, that was until inconsistencies started popping up a lot more.
Chan felt distant, he was more busy, despite the two of you being in the same major. That was the whole basis of your relationship after all. At the beginning of your relationship, it was sweet and full of the first times. Chan used to hold your hand, his other one holding your bag, as you would walk to the diner across campus and stay there for hours just talking about your day.
The soft gazes he’d give you whenever your eyes met, the flowers he’d give you on a random day, and the late-night calls wherein one of you ended up asleep. It was like a broken record that rewind itself during the late hours when you would start to question his love for you.
Those moments seem like old memories to you now as you see another apologetic text from your boyfriend. Another text where he promised to make it up to you and that he’d do better next time, it was starting to become a routine where you got stood up by him.
You wondered what on earth would keep your boyfriend so busy, especially when you both had ended up together because you took the same classes. You weren’t a slacker and always got your work done on time, so things weren’t adding up, especially when you both always tried to help one another.
The week after your midterms, you decided to visit your family and stay at home for a little bit.
Your family lived thirty minutes away from campus and you honestly couldn’t bother to make a drive that long every day, so you opted to stay in the dorms to save time, but on occasion, you would suck it up for a few days whenever your living space felt too tight.
Today was one of those days, but it felt a lot worse than you’d like to admit.
“Hey, I’m gonna go stay at my family’s for the weekend, and on Monday, just try not to make a mess here or anything.” You say to your roommate, Bora, who nods without looking at you.
Your roommate had an annoying habit of not looking at people whenever she was focused on her work, but you grew quite used to it and just shrugged it off after a few months.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I only ever have Chaeyoung or Hyewon over so no mess and no broken belongings. Have fun and say hi to Seungcheol for me if you see him, will you? Drive safe Y/n,” Bora finally turns to you from her bed and you laugh.
Seungcheol was a good brother and had a heart of gold, but you couldn’t handle your friends gushing over him in front of your face, it just felt weird when you grew up right beside him, the image of a younger Cheol picking his nose suddenly registering itself into your brain as you cringed.
You couldn’t care less about who he’d date though, it was none of your business, even as his little sister. As long as he didn’t end up hurt or hurting anyone, your brother was free to be with who he liked.
“Sure, I’ll leave a word when I see him. Tell me if anything comes up, and now I’ll get going! Bye, Bora!” You picked up your backpack and made the short walk to your car, ready to go home and lay on your childhood bed, which was admittedly more comfortable than the one you had in the dorm.
You text Chan about going to your family’s place, and the boy follows up with a thumbs-up emoji and an ‘I love you, stay safe’ text.
Your boyfriend didn’t have much to say anyway, and you were starting to grow bored with the way things were going. He probably felt the same way and you couldn’t blame him when you couldn’t keep your mouth shut either, since you seemed to be the only one exerting effort at this point.
He might even find you annoying now but didn’t have the heart to tell you because he was just that nice.
“Breaking up is honestly super tempting right now and I honestly can’t stand it anymore! It’s driving me mad, Cheol!” You whine as you stop at the intersection that leads into your neighborhood.
You didn’t mean to rub it in or anything, but you did live in a wealthier part of town, which explained the long drive home, and you were so glad to see the familiar area after a stressful trip.
It just so happened that halfway through the drive, your poor brother had to endure fifteen minutes of your rambling like some counselor even though he simply just wanted to check up on you.
“Y/n, just break up with him then, simple. It’s been months since you started telling me about how bad it’s getting, and honestly, I’m horrified to hear about what else is to come once you get here. I love you so much, really I do, but this boy is full of empty promises and lies,” Seungcheol sighs deeply.
The light turns green and you finally drive into your street, completely forgetting you were on the phone.
“Fuck don’t ignore me like that, I know how much you both liked your sweet puppy love phase, but get a grip Y/n. Chan is draining you, and he’s probably just as tired as you are. It’s time to stop hanging onto that year you both had,” You pull into your driveway and click your tongue.
Your brother was right, but it also killed you knowing you’d hate the thought of not having Chan around anymore. It was all easier said than done, especially when you felt incomplete without him.
“I see your ass in the driveway, Mom and Dad went out to get food so you have a fuck ton of explaining to do.” You see Seungcheol in the window and laugh before honking at him, scaring the living daylights out of him in the process.
“I’ll be in, like five. Let me get my bag ok? And tell Kkuma I’m here, I missed her.” You turn the engine off and grab your bag from the back, a wave of comfort and warmth washing over your form as you look at the house.
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“Anyways, I’ve been contemplating on wanting to break up with him because I think he’s tired of me and maybe I did become quite annoying. Unless I’m invalidating my feelings and gaslighting myself into thinking I’m the problem,” You go on.
At this point, it was past dinner time and you and Seungcheol were in your room, dressed for bed and still talking about your problems. Poor Kkuma looked ready to curl up beside you and sleep but was forced to stay awake because of how miserable you were over some boy.
Seungcheol grimaced and set down a makeshift bed for the poor dog to lie on before turning to look at you with a concerned expression. “I think the latter, but you can be the judge of that. Now-” Cheol was cut off by your phone chiming and you turned to look at who on earth was texting you at one in the morning.
Your face turns pale as you look at the screen, and this automatically worries your brother, but his expression immediately hardens as he knows who it could be from.
“It’s from him isn’t it?” You nod slowly, the tears starting to fall from your eyes, dripping down your cheeks and onto the comforter you were on. Every word hit you like a ton of bricks, you felt helpless.
From: Chanie ^^
I think we need to break up. This relationship is holding me back and it’s starting to feel like a chore, I’m sorry I couldn’t do enough for you Y/n. I started to grow bored and you irritated me to no end, I don’t even think we would work even if we tried. This is my last goodbye to you, I’m sorry again that it had to end this way but I’m still young and feel like I’m not ready for something as serious as this.
You showed Seungcheol the message, only then realizing that your number was also blocked, preventing you from saying anything more. You were appalled, to say the least, your mouth hanging wide open as choked sobs started to come out slowly.
A year, a year went to waste with the person you thought would understand you best, the person you thought would hold your heart close to his, only for him to break it. The person who did the most and still managed to disappoint you.
Seungcheol held you close and you cried into his chest, Kkuma was suddenly on the bed licking your face and the world fell still at that exact moment. The moment you vowed to never trust anyone with your heart ever again.
You were a mess the rest of the semester following the text, crying on the couch the entire weekend as Seungcheol tried to console you, along with your oldest brother, but nothing worked.
You did go to class as normal, but you completely shut everyone out and limited socializing to only your family and friends until after finals.
Your break was coming up, and you were honestly relieved, to say the least. Bora was on the other side of the room getting ready to go home to see her family as well, packing up everything on her side in the process, but then you heard her huff as a pillow hit your head, interrupting the silence that was shared.
“What the fuck Kim?” You whined, taking the pillow and hugging it. Bora plants herself on the spot next to you, you look at her with a frown as she laughs.
“I’m gonna miss you roomie, but I’ll visit you often either way since you’re technically my best friend now. Now stop frowning, Chan was an idiot for breaking up with you. How you managed to get through the rest of the semester, I will never know, but you should go put yourself out there again! There’s bound to be another guy ready to treat you better, so stop moping ok? I know it’ll be hard, but I promise it’s not that bad. Have a bit of fun with it,” You pout at Bora’s words.
She was right, but the breakup over a text fiasco left you traumatized. Chan wasn’t the best boyfriend, and you both had your moments, but you weren’t ready to trust someone again just yet.
What if it ends the same way, or even worse? What if you were too boring? Questions swirl through your mind but Bora snaps you out of it.
“Hey, take it easy. Let’s hang out over break, just us girls showing Chan what he’s missing out on! Can you believe he left you? You’re a gem Y/n, a lot more people want you than you think. Now hurry up and pack the rest of your things!” You take in Bora’s words and nod.
It would be hard, but taking baby steps and meeting new people wouldn’t hurt. No rushing into serious connections just yet.
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When you got home that day, you were happy enough to lay on your bed once again, all worries and concerns gone for the next few months. Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door and see Seungcheol walking in. You raise your eyebrow at him and your brother chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I was wondering if maybe we can hang out? Like all of your friends and mine,” Seungcheol looks down and plays with his fingers nervously. You were confused by his proposal but urged him to continue.
“Look, I like Bora and Minghao has this huge crush on Hyewon. Can you at least help us? Please? Look, I’ll take you shopping and even buy you food if I have to,” Your brother sounded like he was pleading almost so you really couldn’t help but feel bad.
“Cheol it’s ok, I’ll take you up on the shopping, now give me a date so I can tell the girls.” You smiled softly. Seungcheol punches the air and you laugh at his antics, you knew Bora also had the biggest crush on him so setting them up would be a breeze. Hyewon was a mystery you had yet to uncover though.
“I barely know your friends though, like I’ve met Jeonghan but who the hell is Minghao and how does he know about Hyewon?” Seungcheol lies down beside you on the bed and opens his phone, showing you a picture of him and three other guys.
Seungcheol then starts pointing out the two new faces to you. The lean and prince-looking one was Minghao and the tall, puppy-looking guy was named Mingyu. You couldn’t help but pay more attention to Mingyu, he was really attractive and you wanted to get to know him.
“Anyways, they’re the two new people in my frat. They’re super cool and like-” “Are you gonna bring Mingyu?” You cut him off mid-sentence, still in awe at Mingyu. Seungcheol’s brows knit and he rolls his eyes at you whilst you stick your tongue out at him.
“What happened to not dating? Come on Y/n, be serious,” You slap your brother’s face jokingly, the male screaming dramatically from beside you.
You didn’t want to get your heart broken again, but putting yourself out there wouldn’t hurt, as long as it didn’t get too serious, you were going to be ok.
“Shut up, it’s not like it’s gonna be a super serious thing just yet. Mingyu looks like a total hottie, I just wanna get to know him, have a little fun and get a bit of attention again,” You were ass at lying, so Seungcheol could only laugh at you.
“I trust you with him, Mingyu’s a very easygoing guy if that’s important to you. He’s also super single because he’s waiting for the right person,” he smirks at you.
Easygoing? And he’s waiting for the right person? On top of all that he’s cute and your brother trusts him with you? It sounded too good to be true.
You were happy for a moment, but doubts started to cloud your judgment once again. He sounded like a good guy, but how long until he turns into Chan and gets bored of you? It was starting to scare you again.
“Cheol, I don’t know-” Your brother gives you a serious look and sits up.
“I hope you understand that he’s not Chan, Y/n. Not all relationships are going to be like your last unless you try to take that leap. I promise you, he’s not a bad guy. Like, if he hurts you, I’ll hurt him because you mean a lot to me” You nod at Seungcheol, finally thinking positively and securely.
Not everyone is going to be like Chan, you knew that, but your memories and feelings for the boy held you back.
“Now, how does nineteenth sound?” Your brother asks you. You text your friends, immediately getting the green light from the three of them, Bora sounding the most excited.
“Perfect, and your girlfriend is just as excited as you are,” Cheol’s face turns a deep red before he runs out of your room in embarrassment, yelling about something along the lines of planning the perfect outfit. You guessed it was probably to impress Bora anyway, so you didn’t question him.
The silence of your room welcomes you once again and you are back into your thoughts. Mingyu sounded like a guy who would take someone seriously, maybe it’s just what you needed because guys your age didn’t have that much to go off of.
He was Seungcheol approved, and you told yourself that a million times, only because he hadn’t approved of anyone else but Mingyu. Chan could get past your parents and oldest brother, but not Cheol, so it was an odd situation to be in.
“I’ll figure it out later, right now, I need to sleep.” You put your phone off to the side and close your eyes.
Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure everything out once the nineteenth rolls around, both Seungcheol and Bora did say similar things, so maybe those two had a point. ‘No wonder they like each other, they’re the same person,’ you thought as the sleep took over.
Two days had passed and the dreaded day had rolled around much quicker than you had anticipated. As you put on light makeup, your friends are in the background screaming at each other throughout the entirety of your Facetime call because you all decided that it was a good idea to get ready together.
“Bora, it’s Seungcheol! He’s like Y/n’s male version so you don’t need to freak out that much! Now Y/n, show us the fit. You’re the only one who didn’t show us yet!” Hyewon whined over the phone.
“I’m wearing a gray long-sleeved, asymmetrical knit top, black skirt, and combat boots. For hair, I’m leaving it down and wavy, I don’t care much,” You say softly.
The girls suddenly burst out laughing as you put on your outfit, they didn’t seem to believe you one bit when you said you didn’t care because they knew you genuinely did care and tried not to.
“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” Your friends hum in agreement until you hear the door behind you open.
“Y/n— Are you calling your friends right now? We’re leaving in a minute because Mingyu’s driving so hurry your ass up will you. Also hi Bora! Hi Hyewon and Chaeyoung,” Seungcheol grins stupidly.
You roll your eyes at your brother for obviously singling Bora out and tell your friends that you are going to see them in a bit.
“Bye, Y/n! Have fun looking at your new boy toy driving, already a huge upgrade from Chan!” Wonyoung laughs.
You end the Facetime call with a roll of your eyes before turning to look at Seungcheol with an eyebrow raised. Seungcheol puts his hands up defensively before you both hear a car honking outside.
“Mingyu’s here, grab your bag, and let’s go!” You huff as your brother rushes you, he was practically itching to see his crush, and embarrassingly enough, you too were excited to meet Mingyu and Minghao.
With your bag in hand, along with your phone, you finally follow Cheol outside and see a Range Rover of the latest model in black. Damn, Mingyu was in a different league that was for sure.
Seungcheol opens the door for you as you head in. You see Jeonghan riding shotgun and Wonwoo in the back smiling at you. “Y/n! So happy to see you again, I think this is your first time meeting Mingyu and Minghao,” Jeonghan says from the front.
You squeeze in the center comfortably and nod. Wonwoo was cute, he greeted you politely and was very friendly, but when your eyes met Mingyu’s, you suddenly became quite flustered. He held a sharp gaze, the watch on his wrist not helping you in the slightest.
“The shopping center downtown right?” Seungcheol nods at Mingyu’s words, his deep voice causing you to flush. You prayed to whoever was up there that you would at least survive the day because the tension in the car with him was enough to drive you nuts.
“So Y/n, how’s that thing with Chan?” You freeze up when Jeonghan suddenly brings up your ex, but you forget not everyone knew about the devastating breakup over text.
“We broke up over text...” You reply awkwardly. Jeonghan gasps as your brother runs his palm down his face, he knew better than anyone not to bring up Chan during the time you were still trying to move on.
“Hyung, give her a break. Sounds like it must’ve been rough, I’m sorry about that. He seems like a shitty guy, breaking up with you over text? Are you sure this isn’t a sitcom Y/n?” Mingyu speaks up as he looks at you from the rearview mirror. You feel your cheeks heat up slightly, nodding in embarrassment, but for some reason, you were shocked upon hearing Mingyu’s words.
Wow, he really picked Chan apart in a way you wouldn’t ever dare to. His bluntness snapped you right back to reality and you could hear Minghao chuckle from beside you. “What’s so funny?” You raise a brow at the boy.
“Mingyu hasn’t been this disheartened over anything in a while, it’s crazy that he’s already scrutinizing your ex based on how you broke up,” Minghao explains. Mingyu glares at him and huffs, looking so done and just ready to explain himself.
“Listen, in my personal opinion, I think breaking up with a long-term partner over text is stupid and a cowardly move. There were so many other ways he could have gone about it but over text? At least call or something instead, it’s super disrespectful towards your partner to leave them hanging without proper closure.” Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets upon hearing the reason behind his agitation.
So far, Mingyu was seriously proving you wrong the more he opened his mouth to say something, but you still weren’t ready because what if he’s even worse? The feeling still lingers and it’s almost like the ghost of your ex is not letting you go just yet.
“Mingyu’s right, I thought you both had something to be fair. Seeing how puppy love was just a phase makes me think I was quite wrong, you deserve better. Like Mingyu here for example! He’s very single and is looking for the right person, which could be you.” Jeonghan jokingly says.
You notice Mingyu’s ears turn red as he pulls into the shopping center. The car was suddenly filled with an awkward silence, everyone stunned at the oldest’s proposition. You and Mingyu had just met, what was he on about with you being his possible partner? It was crazy.
After Mingyu had parked his car, you all made your way toward your designated meeting spot. You could see Cheol and Minghao freeze up upon seeing Bora and Hyewon, causing a laugh to make its way out of your throat.
“Y/n! Over here!” The girls beckoned you over as you purposely ran in their direction to tease the guys.
It was a day to bring them together was it not? Yet you still took the opportunity to tease the boys as you wished. It was pretty funny to look at their reactions knowing they liked your friends.
“Hi guys, I brought Cheol and Jeonghan. The newbies are Minghao and, Mingyu” You say with a pause. Your friends squeal wildly at the mention of Mingyu’s name, shoving you with their elbows as you all laugh.
“Minghao is so cute actually, is he single by any chance?” Hyewon smirks, eyeing the male up and down.
You giggle and nod, your friend had no idea that the said boy was here for her, which made your job of setting them up much easier. Your work was basically cut out for you the moment they laid their eyes on each other.
“Oh don’t worry, you’ll know in a bit. For now, let’s all focus on having fun today shall we?” You sling your hand over Bora’s shoulder, not noticing Mingyu’s intense stare at your form. Seungcheol and Jeonghan notice the action, causing the two of them to nudge the boy playfully.
“Bro, go shoot your shot. There’s so much tension between the two of you, I hope you know that” Cheol laughs.
Mingyu shakes his head at his words profusely, there was no way he was going to overstep a boundary, even if it was Seungcheol himself encouraging it.
You notice the boys talking amongst themselves but decide to shrug it off, they were probably planning their moves on your friends, but how do you tell them that they didn’t even need to try that much? They all seemed to like each other after all.
Between Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s continuous pestering, Mingyu had felt your gaze on them, causing his cheeks to grow hot. You were really pretty, and that goes without saying, but you had just gotten out of something long-term.
The time needed to heal you first, or at least that’s what he thought, since his mom had always taught him to be patient with the ones he loved or cared about.
“Give her time guys, I don’t think I can just rush in like that. Y/n came out of a slightly traumatizing event, so if you jump right in, it will only push the person away further. I should be friends with her at most while we’re still getting to know each other,” Mingyu makes eye contact with you and notices how you quickly avoid his eyes.
The day had gone by quite smoothly since then, each of you dispersing into little pairs after a while because your friends couldn’t seem to help themselves, which is what led you to where you were now. In a store, with Mingyu, picking out clothes for him to try on.
You had nothing better to do anyway, so why not style your brother’s hot friend, even though Mingyu himself already had impeccable fashion taste?
You bite your lip as you focus on the outfit, visualizing what it would look like on Mingyu, and how you could coordinate everything.
Mingyu thought it was adorable with how much thought and focus you had decided to put in when you were only doing this for fun, he ultimately decided to buy the outfit once he was done trying it on.
“Here, sorry I took so long. I haven’t styled anyone since my ex and my older brother, so this is the best you’re gonna get for now,” You handed him the items in your arms and pushed him toward the fitting rooms, eager to see how well you did.
“It’s no problem because you did put the time and effort into styling me, I might go ahead and buy it if it does end up being my style,” Mingyu smiles at you softly.
He was sweet, you had to admit. It wasn’t like Chan had noticed you putting effort into styling him so a little affirmation made your heart swell.
“You don’t have to, I kind of play around with it. I bet you will look good since you seem like you’d look good in anything” You admit shyly.
Mingyu was fun to be around, even if it was your first time meeting, you already felt as if you had known the man for a while. All around Mingyu was just considerate and one of the best people you could’ve ever met.
“Yeah, sure you do, I know you put a lot more effort either way. Let me try this on now, otherwise, I’d be too distracted looking into your eyes. Give me a minute and I’ll show you how it looks,” You nod as Mingyu closes the curtain, only then taking in what he had said to you. He was not being serious but was so smooth with how he flirted with you just now.
A minute had gone by and you heard Mingyu call your name, so you made your way over, only to find your heart nearly falling out of your ass the moment you saw him. He looked so good, great even, and you couldn’t help but stare.
Mingyu adorned a white shirt underneath a black zip-up jacket, adding detail by zipping up the bottom of it, and light-wash jeans. It was a really simple outfit, but you had to admit, he did tie the whole look together.
“How does it look? I think you did well honestly, I’ll buy the entire outfit right now. Let me go change so we can go meet up with the others,” Mingyu smiles.
You were amazing at what you did, it impressed him how you were able to pull such an outfit together in just a few minutes.
“I think it looks great, I’m flattered you like it so much that you’d buy it right now. Maybe I can style you again if there is a next time?” You reply shyly. You couldn’t meet Mingyu’s eyes because he looked so good.
From that moment on, Mingyu made it his mission to heal your heart and prove to you that you deserved a second chance at being treated better.
He had come to your house quite often and taken you out a few times, so much to the point that everyone around you started noticing that you were almost always with each other.
“You know what, this is the happiest I’ve seen you. Your relationship with Chan started to strain and you had become more dull and miserable, but being around Mingyu gave you a new kind of glow for some reason,” Chaeyoung quips.
You tilt your head in confusion, you liked his company but you hadn’t noticed any other changes.
“He’s great, but I’m still hesitant. You know how I am, as I get he’s not Chan, but who knows how everything would play out in the long run?” You say sadly.
Mingyu was more than amazing, he respected your wishes not to have a relationship, but still treated you in ways people could only dream of, but in his words, he was ‘courting’ you, something people don’t do much these days.
He was attentive, took care of you well, and would always be there for you no matter what. He truly was the real definition of being ‘one call away’. This was all so new to you, even being courted was something totally out of the ordinary.
“Y/n, he’s courting you. Not enough people willingly do that these days, so you have the guy wrapped around your finger. He’s patiently waiting for an answer from you, like do you remember everything you’ve told us?” Hyewon huffs out from above you as she is doing your hair.
It was girl’s night and you had decided to bring up your worries and updates to your friends, but you had forgotten the fact that you had also told them the details about your escapades with Mingyu.
From where you would go to what you did, down to the time he took you home, and if Seungcheol truly did approve of him.
“Did Chan ever actually think about how you felt in a certain situation? You know besides you telling him it’s ok and all? Usually being together with someone for over a year would allow you to read them better, but Chan barely knew your little habits. Bora took them in after a month of knowing you, which is concerning. Now on to Mingyu, what did he say that one time?” Chaeyoung snaps her fingers and you instantly know what she is talking about.
You came home one day and had gone the whole day without eating. You were out with your parents and they hadn’t considered if you were hungry or not since they were busy and had already eaten, so when you got home, you quietly slipped next to Mingyu in the living room after seeing the guys watching a movie.
“Hey, you’re home. How was spending the day with your parents?” Mingyu whispers from beside you. You shrug and he gives you a look that encourages you to tell him more.
“I hadn’t eaten anything, but honestly it’s ok now since I’m not hungry at all…” You trail off.
Mingyu shakes his head and takes his phone out, but you go over to stop him. He shouldn’t spend anything on you, and you already told him you weren't hungry so you felt as if you were only bothering him.
“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” You see your favorite restaurant on the delivery app on his phone and blush. Did he remember your favorite restaurant and order? That was sweet of him.
“No it’s ok I can manage,” You pretended not to see him already inputting the order and paying for it, but you still couldn’t help it when your stomach growled loudly. Mingyu raises a brow at you as you chuckle awkwardly.
“I’m getting you food, I know you’re hungry” Mingyu laughs. You hit his shoulder but thanked him gratefully for even thinking of you, it was a small gesture but it still meant a lot.
“How about that time he got you flowers for no reason?” Bora says while laughing.
You roll your eyes, she was the first person you had freaked out to over the phone because Mingyu had gotten you a bouquet of roses on a random Thursday with Seungcheol.
“What’s this?” You ask as Mingyu sets down a bunch of fresh roses wrapped in brown paper on the counter in front of you. Cheol and Mingyu had just gotten back from grocery shopping for your mom and then Mingyu came back with flowers, of course, you would be confused.
“I got you flowers because we saw them on the way out, and I thought you'd like them” Mingyu started taking out the groceries from the bags as your brother walked in with the last batch from the car. You flick Cheol’s forehead, but the older male can only smirk and laugh at you.
“Why? There’s no occasion,” You try to excuse, but you couldn’t hide how flustered you were.
Mingyu had thought of you while they were out? He did mean it when he said he wanted to treat you better.
“Can I not get you flowers even if there’s no occasion? Y/n, you don’t need to ask or have a reason to receive flowers, I hope you know that. I’m surprised this hadn’t been done for you more often than not” Mingyu’s back was still turned toward you, which you were thankful for because you probably looked like a tomato at that moment.
That night poor Bora had to endure an earful from you, just because Mingyu was a great guy who treated you the way you deserved.
Thinking back at those moments, you could only see the good in Mingyu, so you wanted your friends’ approval. He was already brother and parent-approved so that only left your best friends.
“Well, do you guys think I should finally give him an answer? It’s been a few months, and even if I am scared, I can’t let this chance go.” Hyewon finishes up your hair and pats your head, signaling her answer. You look at the others, who only grin back at you and you laugh.
“Y/n, he’s been a green flag since the beginning. It’s a good opportunity knowing he’s the type that’s ready to settle down,” Bora also brings up.
Seungcheol had always emphasized that Mingyu was a date-to-marry and long-term relationship kind of guy, which makes sense as to why you were one of the first people he had ever been super serious with when it came to dating.
“You guys are always the best, I’m glad everyone around me approves. I mean, I won’t know until I try right?” Chaeyoung hugs you and you sigh in content.
You were finally moving on, you were finally healing. It felt fulfilling in a sense, and knowing you were finally starting a new chapter with a great person, you felt as though your life was finally turning out for the better.
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After a chaotic girls’ night, you had called up Mingyu to meet you at your favorite cafe that the two of you frequented. You were quite nervous, to say the least, but you were ready to take this huge step of moving on with the person who treated you right.
You hear the bell of the cafe chime, and you finally see the person you were expecting. Mingyu walked in, his hair down in its usual state, and in a casual but comfortable outfit.
He looked like he had just come from the gym. Your heart raced at how good he looked, he always did look his best whenever he came to see you, and you always appreciated the effort.
Mingyu spots you and walks over with a wide smile. He was always so damn charming, you couldn’t believe he was all yours. He pulls out the seat in front of you and plops on it, his attention fully on you. ‘Attentive as always, I don’t deserve you,’ you thought.
“You wanted to talk?” Mingyu finally breathes out upon seeing you. You nod and take his hands in yours, you were going to tell him how you finally felt because he deserved an answer. He had already done so much for you, the least you could do was show him that all his efforts were finally paying off.
“I think I’m ready to give you my answer. The past few months you had decided to court me and I’m thankful you were patient enough to wait for my answer. You’ve proved to me that relationships aren’t limited to how I and my ex went about ours and that if a guy wanted to do something, he would. So my answer is already set, I’ll be your girlfriend, Gyu.” You look up at him, only to see Mingyu grinning like an idiot.
He was elated, he finally got the answer he was waiting for and you saying yes only made it a hundred times better. Mingyu fully understood how much your last relationship had affected you, so he only made it a point to court you, knowing you weren’t ready for a commitment just yet.
He wanted you to be ready for him to love you and treat you the way you deserved, so he didn’t push it and waited for you to come around on your own, which you did.
“You have no idea how happy and relieved I am to hear you say that. Y/n, I’m so glad you gave me the chance to love you and care for you. I’m glad you gave me the chance to prove myself to you. I promise I will not hurt you in any way at all, and I promise to be as communicative as possible with my feelings so that you don’t end up in the dark. I want you to know everything because you deserve it,” Mingyu admits, not breaking his gaze on you.
“Mingyu, you’re everything I could’ve ever asked for. I don’t know what else to say. The past few months I’d been so scared to love again, to give a relationship another chance, but you’ve proved me wrong and even waited for me to be ready. You don’t understand how much that means to me,” You continue to fidget with his hands, but then he suddenly takes yours and places a kiss on your knuckle.
You blush at the action, you weren’t used to feeling or receiving this kind of affection since it had been quite some time, but with Mingyu, you weren’t afraid of anything, because you trusted him as much as he trusted you.
Needless to say, even months after you had given Mingyu an answer, he remained the same and still acted like he was courting you.
The only difference? He was finally your boyfriend and you were finally his girlfriend. You felt how serious he was about you when he had even introduced you to his parents, and they were just as lovely as their son was.
“Mom wants to go shopping with us on her birthday this weekend, I told her I would take her on a birthday date but she insisted you come along. She loves you that much already,” Mingyu chuckles as he walks into your room, fresh out of the shower. You laugh, his mom was the sweetest person, and you finally understand where your boyfriend gets it from.
“I’m down if she’d like, but you’re not getting me anything ok? You already spoil me enough and I don’t want you to spend too much–” You squeal as you feel Mingyu’s arms around you, the two of you falling flat on the bed.
Before you two could move from your position, you heard a knock at your door. It was Seungcheol, and you immediately pulled away from Mingyu once you saw him, still flustered and embarrassed from the previous action.
“Hey, if you two are going to be in the house, at least have some decency while I’m here!” Your brother whines.
You laugh and see him let Kkuma in the room. She had been with Cheol the whole day, so you and your siblings usually took turns spending time with the dog. You were the sibling in Kkuma’s night shift, meaning you had to take the dog in for the night since she liked sleeping in your room.
You thank Cheol for letting Kkuma in and bid your brother goodnight. Once the door closed, you looked over to see your boyfriend on the floor with Kkuma laying on her back.
“Hey, that’s my dog! Kkuma, you can’t just steal my boyfriend like that, and Gyu you can’t just do that to my child!” You joke. They looked perfect, and suddenly you start to imagine what your little family with Mingyu would look like.
Mingyu was the perfect partner to settle with, after all, he was caring and dependable, but also super honest and was not afraid to show or express how he felt. He just knew whenever you weren’t up to do something, or if something was bothering you.
“Is something wrong?” Mingyu noticed that you were more quiet than usual today because you almost always told him about your day. He noticed how your smile hadn’t reached your eyes and how you were fidgeting with your fingers more.
“It’s nothing” You tried to brush it off, but truthfully, you weren’t doing well. You just didn’t have the strength to let him know or the strength to explain how you felt, all you wanted to do was rest and go to sleep.
“Y/n, you can tell me anything ok? Be as open as you want to be, I’m always here for you and will not judge you no matter what. If you don’t have the energy to tell me, it’s ok. Just rest here” You feel his arms being wrapped around you as he strokes your hair. The action was small but it helped you ease up a lot.
“It’s hard Gyu, I don’t know how to deal with everything. I don’t have the energy to stress over anything right now,” You whisper. Mingyu rocks you back and forth, still playing with your hair as he places kisses on your forehead.
“Whatever it is you’re going through, I hope you know that I’m proud enough that you decide to wake up every day and do everything with a smile, even if the world has wronged you. you’re so brave and amazing Y/n, please do not ever doubt yourself” Mingyu replies softly.
“Gyu, you don’t understand how much your words have helped me” You kiss him softly. You felt so lucky to have him, he was beyond the best partner you had ever been blessed with.
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“Mingyu, could I ask you something?” You say suddenly. The two of you were at his parent’s place since Mingyu had decided to take you to his childhood home in Anyang as a gift for your four-month anniversary.
“Mhm?” He hummed, putting down a plate of food on the coffee table in the living room, and sitting next to you on the couch.
“Why haven’t we said I love you to each other at any point in our relationship just yet? The others have asked me about it, but I just can’t come up with an answer to get them to leave me alone,” you whine. Mingyu laughs and kisses your cheek gently.
“Tell them that saying I love you isn’t easy when it comes to us, you haven’t said it either so we’re simply making sure that I can say it when the time is right. It’s not that I don’t or anything, but those words aren’t exactly an easy thing to just pop out there. The time will come when we can both say it meaningfully. Right now, we are still early into our relationship and have a lot to learn. I hope you understand where I’m coming from” he tells you.
It wasn’t that hard to understand what he meant. Mingyu had always been more careful, even if he didn’t say I love you, he still affirmed you and expressed his love for you in his actions.
Loving someone still comes in many forms, so the words I love you could wait because they should come from a place where you both fully understand and can comprehend how meaningful the three words are.
“I honestly think the same way, in a sense, I’m glad you’re honest about how you feel because I’ve been in a place wherein I was pressured into doing the action just because it was normal for everyone else, but not all of us are the same. Thank you, Gyu, you’re always the best with words.” Mingyu holds you close and you both sigh in content.
He wanted to treat you better, and he did. He wanted to show you better, and he expressed it in the best way possible.
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© rubyuji 2024’ -. no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any manner without the permission from the publisher.
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nunalastor · 1 day
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I figure it’s about time I start to shout in the void(your ask box)
So here’s some HC I have:
Alastor has high pain tolerance. He’s good at knowing when to heal but he tends not to because he doesn’t notice it, so surely it’s not that bad. Vox, Husk and Rosie usually have an immediate reaction if he says he’s in any sort of pain. Rosie because they’re friends and she knows how Alastor is, Husk because he cares for Alastor on the down low(he still hates the guy but he’s a little fond of him) and Vox because he’s used to it from when he and Alastor were friends. They all know that if Al’s “sore” he’s actually dying. (Cue immediate bells for Husk when Al says he’s too tired to do something for Charlie after the Adam situation).
Alastor actually came to hell with white hair(deer genes). Hated it so he dyed it red. He accidentally set his hair on fire while trying to style it immediately after dying it so he had to emergency cut it hence the bob. Seems like the type to become fond of things quickly, so the bob stuck to the horror of literally everyone around him.
Husk can only speak the 7 languages fluently when he’s drunk. When he’s sober he can only speak 2 fluently; English and French. Ties in with my hc that Husk grew up in Louisiana before his family moved to Las Vegas. (purely so I can have him sing Friends on the Other Side to the hotel crew in my head).
Husk sneaks in more modern music into Alastor’s radio playlists that sound older than they are. This includes Tom Lehrer and medieval versions of modern music; Alastor knows all the lyrics to Montero but only the medieval version.
Charlie and Lucifer get weirdly territorial of the junk food in the house. It’s a remnant from when they would fight over the cereal when Charlie was younger, which was a fun game then but slowly got more serious as Charlie got older. It’s especially bad when they’re tired and/or hungry. Angel and Vaggie are the only ones allowed to take the food away when they’re fighting, Vaggie for obvious reasons and Angel because he can run fast. Husk can too technically, since he can just fly, but he doesn’t really want to(lazy). Same goes for Alastor(enjoys the show).
Vaggie gets really embarrassed when someone points out something nice she did or when her outfit is cute. Heaven expects everyone to always do good and look good no matter what so it’s only noticed when you aren’t. She doesn’t know how to respond to compliments or thanks so just freezes.
Niffty likes helping cook food, though she isn’t actually allowed to come close to the stove(she knocked a pot of soup over once, never again). She’s always happy to cut vegetables or deconstruct poultry.
Angel “anonymously” gives the hotel residents gifts as thanks for letting him hang around. They’re usually hand made and he tends to throw them at the person saying that “someone gave it to him and he doesn’t want it”. He thinks he’s slick but he’s not.
And of course, a cursed one: Alastor had a serving cunt era when he first arrived, where he kept with the times for like 1 year and wore scandalous clothes(like idk a backless blouse or, god forbid, an ankle length skirt) and a corset for his back problems. He got immediately embarrassed after he got over it and killed everyone who ever saw him, hence the overlord killing spree. He doesn’t wear a corset anymore, instead opting for a more discreet ensemble involving silk lines(like rope but flat?) that doesn’t impede his movements as much as a corset. His 7 year break was because he found an old photo of himself online and hid himself in shame. He eventually made a deal with someone to erase any trace of his phase from everything but his own memory. It’d be funny if that person was Velvette lol
👀👀
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tenthgrove · 3 days
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Reverse Engineering the OIAR Tagging System: Part 2
I've had another look at things and I have managed to create a more concrete theory for how the tags work, though at this stage I would be very surprised if it were all correct.
A reminder for the unfamiliar- every TMAGP statement comes with a long code, consisting of a CAT (category?), R (rank? - two statements do not have this), a four digit number which seems to be totally random, and the dates of both the statement's origin, and when the episode is set.
I've created this theory by identifying patterns between the CAT and R values and the themes, characters and dates of the statements. It is clear we need some more statements to be sure, so I will update this as new episodes come in. That said, here is my theory.
CAT = Is the Monster an External and/or Being Actively Taken Advantage of by the OIAR?
CAT 1 = Yes. CAT 2 = No, but there are plans to acquire it. CAT 3 = No, and there are no plans to acquire it. CAT 23 = The monster possesses some special quality which the OIAR would like to take advantage of, but currently has no means to do this (hence making it both a CAT 2 and 3 in a sense).
Our only confirmed external, Mr Bonzo, is a CAT 1. The two other CAT 1s are monsters that could very well function as OIAR assassins. Granted, Needles seems to be killing for his own pleasure and seems very ‘green’. BUT- how in the living hell did he murder a man on the streets of London and it wasn’t national news? Maybe, just maybe, Needles was recruited as a result of that incident and the OIAR pulled strings to clean up his mess. Additionally, two of the CAT 1s are delivered literally days before we learn of them. One is older but refers to Bonzo, who we know for a fact is still active. The other was delivered in May 2022. All these statements are live matters, referring to beings who are almost certainly still out there making body counts.
Moving down to the lower rankings, the current CAT 2s are plant guy, Vouyer, the charity shop volunteers and the backrooms service station. These are all statements that leave huge question marks. None of them are delivered by a primary source. They are all 1-15 year old statements. This could mean the OIAR is trying to locate the beings within the statement to potentially take advantage of them, but have not yet tracked them down.
The current CAT 3s are InkSoul, the violin guy, and the bone dice guy. Violin and dice guy are both dead, and the dice were presumably lost in the destruction of the Magnus Institute. It’s clear why the OIAR wouldn’t be interested in them. Now what about InkSoul? Well there are a number of reasons why the OIAR would not want to recruit them. Maybe their power is not reliable? After all, it seemed the effect they had on their victim in the statement was linked to her being an artist. Maybe they’ve already tried to recruit InkSoul and it didn’t go well. Or maybe InkSoul has become inactive since the statement in 2022.
Now, what about CAT 23? I’m really not sure about this one (there are only two CAT 23s so far, one of which is the Red Canary statement) so my theory here is a stand-in. I previously suggested CAT 23 could refer to dimensional cracks and it’s possible that is also the case. It could be that CAT 23 IS the ‘Magnus Protocol’, and that ‘Magnus’ doesn’t specifically mean ‘pertaining to the Magnus Institute’ but ‘pertaining to the Magnus Institute or similar known cracks in reality, of which the Magnus Institute is the one we know most about’. It could be that the OIAR has an active interest in manipulating dimensional cracks but hasn’t yet figured out how, and CAT 23 is created to reflect this.
R = How Useful is this Monster to the OIAR?
A = Frighteningly powerful, possibly equivalent in its impact to the rituals. AB = Between A and B value. B = Pretty useful, but not going to massively improve the OIAR's position by itself. BC = Between B and C value. C = Not especially useful for the OIAR's purposes. Unranked = Value either not investigated or pending investigation. We have no Rank As thus far, and the only rank AB, the Red Canary statement, is widely believed by fans to be the most crucial piece of the puzzle so far to the wider mystery. I believe the first rank A statement is going to be truly massive.
Current Rank Bs include Bonzo and Needles, as well as the bone dice and the Voyuer movie. Bonzo is a known OIAR assassin and as above, Needles very well could be/could become one if the OIAR wanted that for him. However, they can't exactly take down society. Equally, the dice and the movie have limitations that only allow them to target one person at a time - the dice only affect the person who rolls them and the movie relies on only having one audience member to customise itself for.
The Rank Cs are, so far, just the charity volunteers and the ship tattoo. I admit this may be the weakest part of the theory as it's not clear how these two are 'useless', especially if CAT 23 means what I theorise above. Maybe Rank Cs are useful to study but not important to the main goals of the OIAR, whatever they be.
The two unranked statements are the plant guy and the violin. The violin statement could be unranked because it is just that old, and the plant guy could be unranked for a number of reasons. Maybe he is CAT 2 because the OIAR want to study him, but they don't actually have a use for the anomaly that sired him.
Conclusion
As you can see there are various weaknesses to the theory and I would be very surprised if it turns out to be entirely right. The biggest gap right now is the rank C/unranked theories which are not entirely apparant why they're so low. If Protocol is anything like Archives, almost all these monsters will be revisited, so reasons for their placements could still be revealed to us. I am fairly certain the OIAR already knows more about most of them than is let on. I will revisit this theory as more information becomes known.
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cathartic-crypt · 23 hours
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im continuing my benny posting by sharing my benny hcs. in no particular order. and very quickly typed up. enjoy ^_^
- tattooed. he has lots and lots and lots of tattoos from when he was a boot rider. all kinds of tattoos. some desert themed, some things based around him, some others depicting things he just likes. he doesnt mind them much nowadays, hes so used to them that he sees them as part of his skin. although hes a little bit iffy about showing others his old tattoos. hes got an image to upkeep after all - speaking of boot riders. he got a canine knocked out by bingo during their fight. so he got a gold one fitted shortly after he became the leader of the chairmen. and it glints like hell - he wears lots of gold jewellery. especially pre-war rings. he prefers engraved ones, ones with little images etched into the metal or ones with short messages rather than ones with gems. he also wears a cross necklace under his shirt - despite his gun and necklace...hes not christian. like at all. he doesnt care for religion and hasnt read anything about the engraving on his pistol or the meaning of necklace. he just likes how flashy and elaborate the imagery looks - by the time the courier rolls around hes 31. he's also 5'5". - he has a dad bod. i will personally fistfight anyone who draws him muscular and dehydrated. living the cushy and comfortable life of a casino boss means hes not some lean bodybuilder - however...thats not to say he ISNT strong or that hes unhealthy. he has a really high endurance, and can last for a long while out in the desert. also he doesnt like admitting it but hes probably a fraction better at straight up punching someone than shooting them at point blank range - since he was always outside and always doing something, he used to have super calloused hands. but again, casino life means theyre much more pampered and soft now - however hes still got one hell of a grip. he can very easily grab you by your shirt and throw you out of the front door without even breaking a sweat - hes Bi. theres literally no way he isnt, fuck you. BUT he really isnt one for meaningful romantic connections, he much prefers something quick with zero extra baggage (i.e. one night stands, friends with benefits) - hes super nosy. and almost terrifyingly good at recognising and remembering faces. he sees a new face in the tops that he doesnt instantly match to a regular? he needs to know their name. and then he promptly loses all interest because the mystery is lost and the people turn out to be, by all things considered, really fucking boring - even further...anyone who doesnt fall for his charismatic charm (or, even worse, doesnt care about his reputation) becomes a nuisance and he NEEDS to at least form some sort of impression on them, be it good or bad. like full on “if you dont form an opinion about me i will pull my own hair out” - he used to have an absolute love for geckos. he didnt tame them, he was more so inclined to hunt than to nurture, but he would feed scraps to the younger ones - which meant they began to follow him around from time to time... not anymore though. he thinks theyre dirty and brutish and a reflection of what it was like to be a boot rider - hes called Benny Boots (mockingly) by people around the strip. at least by those who knows about the three families past. other than that his last name is Gecko. he also personally calls himself Benny 'New Vegas' sometimes as a sort of boastful title because he thinks hes the shining face (not the heart, mind you - thats House) of the strip - hes a huge morning person. its something he picked up, and cant get rid of, from the boot rider days. he wakes up super early in the morning, rising with the sun - and hates sleeping in because he feels like hes wasting time. he goes to sleep pretty late, since new vegas is awake at night, but he doesnt feel tired. a couple hours of sleep is good enough for him.
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scoobydoodean · 9 hours
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DEAN He threw me to that vamp. I'm telling you, it's not my brother. BOBBY Well, then he's something we ain't ever seen before. DEAN Yeah, or it's freakin' Lucifer. BOBBY Did you call Cas? DEAN 'Course I called Cas. He's not answering. Screw him. I can't wait anymore.
My favorite thing about lines like this is people always think of them as lines where Dean displays a desire for Cas to be useful to him, when they also show so clearly the exact opposite of that. When Cas answered Dean’s prayer in 6.03, it was because Dean had information of value to him about The Staff of Moses. ("You think I came because you called?") He then tells Sam and Dean he needs their help to get the staff and they help him. Cas flew away so abruptly—as soon he got what he wanted—and has been radio silent since. As I’ve mentioned before, Dean has no reason to believe Cas wouldn’t ask if he wanted help (especially now that he’s cleared the air on the reasons for his previous silence). Cas fully controls the means of communication between them. He can come and see Dean any time and say "I need your help". Dean gets a one-way line and has no clue if the messages go through. Cas clearly demonstrates in 6.03 and in this episode, 6.06, that he'll only show up if Dean can be of use to him.
DEAN Castiel? Hello? Possible loose nuke down here, angelic weapon. Kinda your department. You hear that, Cas? CASTIEL Hello, Dean. DEAN Are you kidding me? I have been on red alert about Sam, and you come for some stupid horn?! CASTIEL You asked me to be here, and I came. DEAN I -- I've been asking you to be here for days, you dick!
"You asked me to be here, and I came"... but that's... extremely misleading. Cas didn't show up because Dean asked him to be there. Dean had been asking him for days to opine on Sam after Sam let him get sexually molested by a vamp. Cas very clearly showed up for no other reason than Dean finally mentioned something of use to Cas—an angelic weapon. He showed up because Dean was finally useful to him again. That's exactly why he showed up in 6.03, and it's exactly why he showed up here. And yeah—Cas IS a busy guy! There's nothing wrong with that—but the misleading framing where Cas claims he's here to help Dean when it's the other way around—he's here because Dean has information that can help him—is literally just lying.
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roidepoison · 1 day
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Reo Mikage is Actually Great BPD Representation- Some Thoughts
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So I had the extremely unfortunate experience of being exposed to Blue Lock (unfortunate because it's all my tiny pea brain can think about now), and while it is absolutely full of silly guys whose brains I want to pick, this little bugger really stood out to me. The second he came onto the screen, I KNEW I smelled the borderline on him. As I watched the series and read the manga, I noticed he is actually an incredibly well-written depiction of someone struggling with BPD. Reo is a super layered character and my favorite hobby is picking apart those layers and yapping incessantly about them, so here we are. I want to write this analysis for a few reasons:
1.) Too many people misunderstand Reo and categorize him as dramatic or childish without any elaboration and he deserves a proper character deep-dive. I think him being borderline explains a LOT of his reactions/choices throughout the story.
2.) Borderline representation is extremely important to me. I'm diagnosed borderline and have struggled with this disorder for around ten years now, so I get really excited when I spy BPD-coded characters (especially if they're likable people and not just ghoulish irredeemable villains or manic pixie dream girl characters). This disorder can be so isolating, especially when the majority of people will never even bother to research or understand it. I know that some people like to chalk Reo's emotional reactions up to him being a moody 17-year-old, but I think I have enough evidence to prove that this is undiagnosed BPD that's festering in his noggin. Not to mention, literally nobody else acts like this in the series. Reo is incredibly unique and distinct in the way he behaves through this narrative and I think it's way past the point of normal teenage angst. Regardless, believe what you want. He'll always be my borderline princess tho <3
3.) I have a master's degree in English and what good is that if I don't write long, painful, pointless essays on anime guys? Not that this is exceptionally well written, I just like to laugh at myself for getting a whole M.A and then this is the shit I publish online lmao
By the end of this, I hope I can shed some light on wtf is going on inside of Reo's silly little head. (I'm also obviously not a psychologist, don't use any of this to diagnose yourself pls I don't need the scandal)
If you want to read, buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one!
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First, let me define BPD- It's a personality disorder characterized by a long-standing pattern of instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image. At its core, it is a disorder categorized by emotional dysregulation (the inability to regulate one's emotional responses) People with BPD feel everything EXTREMELY hard. That's important to keep in mind IMO, because while their reactions may seem dramatic or extreme, what they're feeling IS dramatic and extreme. Everything they're feeling is amplified, so their reactions are amplified. Obviously from the outside, people assume it's an overreaction since they can't see what's going on inside the borderline's head. When you sit down and dissect the thought process of someone like Reo, it becomes a lot easier to understand why they react the way that they do to certain situations.
(Also, I'm not going to reiterate more than once that an explanation is not an excuse to treat people poorly. I cannot read ANYTHING on BPD without hearing every 2 minutes how the disorder isn't an excuse to hurt other people. We get it!! I'm explaining it, not excusing it. This enter essay is an analysis of why someone acts the way they do, not whether or not it's excusable)
So then, what behaviors/signs does somebody need to exhibit to receive a borderline diagnosis? The 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD are as follows:
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable or changing relationships
3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self
4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors
5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury
6. Varied or random mood swings
7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness
8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights
9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality
Someone would only need 5 of these to receive a proper diagnosis. Just with the main story and the spin-off manga that is currently released, I think I have enough evidence to argue that Reo has 8 out of 9 criteria for a BPD diagnosis. For the sake of organization, I’m gonna group some of those together though, indicated by a + symbol. I also want to define a few important terms before I start yapping, so that y'all without BPD can understand wtf I'm even talking about.
Favorite Person (fp) - This is someone who holds massive significance in a borderline's life. They emotionally depend on this person a lot and to a certain extent, their worldview almost revolves around them.
Splitting- the change in perception of someone or something caused by black-or-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. It is the devaluation of someone who was once idealized and vice versa.
Mirroring (aka: the chameleon effect)- the constant, unconscious change in one's identity or sense of self by imitating another person’s behaviors, characteristics, or traits. It is common in people who have a vacant or distorted self-image which is a general symptom of BPD.
Now, time for me to break down the most prominent moments where Reo showcases borderline behavior. As I mentioned, I'm going to try and organize this under each criteria point (with some being grouped together)
Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self:
Before I delve into Reo's relationships, I want to start with his baseline sense of identity. It’s established early on that Reo is a very bored, empty, unsatisfied person. Nothing excites him, nothing motivates him, and everything is handed to him. He’s frustrated because his parents notoriously try and buy his affection even though he doesn't want anything. For most of his life up until the narrative starts, he's wandering through life empty and frustrated. That is, until he finally sets his sights on soccer and decides to dedicate his life to winning the World Cup:
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The wording, 'proves my existence' is interesting here. I think this is the first instance Reo has felt alive. So far, the only notable thing about him has been his family and his money. He hasn't achieved anything exceptional for himself, but now he has that opportunity. With this goal, he can really build something up from nothing and make it his own. It's almost like he's clinging to this dream to prove that he has some purpose in his life other than being the family heir.
Now, this dream changes when he meets Nagi, of course. I'm not gonna focus too much on their relationship in this section, but I will mention that meeting Nagi shifted Reo's entire dream, and not for the better. Through the narrative, his dream went from:
Winning the World Cup
Winning the World Cup with Nagi
Proving to Nagi that leaving him behind was a mistake
Improving himself and becoming a good striker on his own
Being a tool for Nagi to become the best striker
Had Nagi not come in and ask for Reo to come back to him, I think Reo could have done a great job at establishing his own sense of identity without Nagi. But no matter how much he works on himself, with Nagi in the picture, he's never going to value himself more than Nagi. Reo lets Nagi cloud his identity to the point where Isagi calls him out and asks what he's even doing at Blue Lock in the first place, since he clearly can't survive on his own, he needs Nagi with him.
After dealing with the turmoil of being abandoned by Nagi, Reo goes through a few stages. He starts with wanting to become somebody worthy of being beside Nagi, somebody that Nagi would want to choose. Devoting himself to becoming stronger and more versatile, his end goal is to have Nagi realize he made a mistake by leaving him behind. After a few more matches, Reo starts to realize that he needs to grow and change and become a stronger, better version of himself for himself and not for other people.
He decides that the fight was all his fault to begin with, that he should have never forced Nagi to play soccer and now he is going to get back to what his dream was originally, combined with his new desire to be a stand-alone player (and person, for that matter). Reo accepts the mistakes that he made, admits that he shouldn't have forced his ideals onto Nagi, and resolves to become a better person for HIMSELF. That's excellent!
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Of course, Reo can't be happy for TOO long. Nagi comes out of the woodwork saying that he can't beat Isagi on his own and asks for Reo's help. Reo does stand up for himself a bit, saying that Nagi is being inconsiderate of his feelings and mentioning how long it took for him to recover from Nagi leaving. Now, the BPD trait here is how Reo not only forgives Nagi and is jumping on him and hugging him THE NEXT PAGE, but he also just disregards everything he said in this sequence. In a matter of two minutes, he no longer wants to be a player that can fight on his own or improve for himself, he wants to improve for Nagi. He starts ruminating again about how hurt he was when Nagi left, but now he's saying all of it wasn't so that he could get stronger individually, it was so that he could be reunited with Nagi again. Nagi asking for his help and saying that now they can play together again motivate Reo more than anything we've seen so far. (Nagi notoriously throws Reo little affection crumbs like this that Reo eats up, but I'm not trying focus on that) Now, Reo's alright with being a tool for Nagi's success again. Everything that happened was supposed to make him stronger so he could be a better partner to Nagi, right? Reo also says as the chapter ends, to please let him be a part of Nagi's dream until Nagi becomes the world's best striker. That's literally so sad!
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He's also immediately back to the 'our' 'we' 'us' talk as well. If he can master his chameleon style in order to keep Nagi above the rest of the players, he wont get left behind again. If he devotes his time and energy into being a solo striker like the rest of these guys, Reo knows that he wont be able to keep up. This was always supposed to be his role, right? Building Nagi up to his full potential! :*)
I also like the detail that Reo is back to hugging Nagi and holding him, but Nagi never really touches him back. I think Reo's love language is touch for sure, not that it's incredibly relevant, but I do think it shows that Reo is back to being 100% comfortable around Nagi as if their fight never happened. I hear a lot of fans asking how Reo could have forgiven Nagi so easily, and I say this with my entire chest, it's the BPD. The black-and-white thinking combined with Nagi being Reo's fp and the excruciating pain of being abandoned by him in the first place ?? Of course he's going to take him back. Also, I've seen people blame Reo for not saying no to Nagi when he asks for help and I have to say that is an absolutely insane take. How are we gonna look at a panel where Nagi asks for help and then blame Reo for helping him?? I'm not going to focus on it too much in this post but in my opinion, it is crazy how little accountability both the narrative + fans give Nagi. Reo is pegged as responsible for both of their downfalls and it's nuts tbh.
Currently in the story, I think Reo's identity is still centered around Nagi. It's really easy for borderlines to structure their entire lives and personalities around their favorite person, but I can only hope that these two keep having open and honest discussions with one another. Hopefully, Reo will eventually learn that he can exist without Nagi and that he's more than just 'his arms and legs'.
Unstable or Changing Relationships:
The most notable relationship in Reo's life is Nagi. They're both each other's first real friends, which already sets up a less-than-ideal dynamic. Nagi has no idea how to communicate and he has pretty weak emotional intelligence. On the other hand, Reo is great at communicating, but he isn't used to regulating his emotions. For a lot of borderlines, they can go a very long time without experiencing any symptoms when they don't have a favorite person. When you think about it, the bulk of the disorder is shown through those interactions with other people. If Reo has never had a real friend in his life, I don't think he'd be used to the emotional turmoil that comes with having a fp.
The minute Reo meets Nagi, he's attached. All his classmates notice it, too. They question why Reo is suddenly so obsessed with this random kid who has no interest in him. Reo is ignoring everybody that isnt Nagi.
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Very quickly, Reo boils down his view of the world to being him and Nagi versus everybody else, and he makes that very clear. It also depicts something that I think is incredibly crucial to Reo’s character that a lot of people overlook; as Nagi develops to be Reo’s favorite person, Reo’s dream isnt ‘playing soccer’ anymore. It’s Nagi. It’s being with Nagi, playing soccer with Nagi, being useful to Nagi, taking care of Nagi, and being somebody important to Nagi. He doesnt teach Nagi the rules or how to actually play, he teaches Nagi how to play with him. He literally re-writes and re-structures the game so that it can center around him and Nagi. Nagi calls him out on this in the spin-off manga:
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Reo doesnt care about the structure of the game, he cares about Nagi. The other people on the field don't matter. The other team doesn't matter. He also starts to unknowingly put Nagi up on a pedestal, which is another borderline trait. He starts reiterating that Nagi is special, he's different from everybody else, he's destined to achieve great things. The more he raises Nagi up, the more he isolates the two of them in his mind, reiterating the idea that it's them against everybody else. His language reflects this too: Reo exclusively talks with 'us' 'we' 'our', insinuating that they're going to do everything together.
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When Ego says that there can't be two winners, Reo says that he'll make Nagi the best striker. His 'ego' will be making Nagi successful. Along with putting Nagi on this pedestal, Reo also very early on establishes the fact that he'd pick Nagi over himself any day of the week. He's the only person in Blue Lock who really couldn't care less about becoming a striker himself: his dream is to be a tool in Nagi's success. Or, in simpler terms, he wants to be useful and make Nagi happy.
These two were in trouble from the very beginning. Nagi is lazy as all hell, has 0 motivation to do anything, and his dream is to live a life of luxury and never have to work. Reo, being the borderline baddie that he is, is more than happy to do EVERYTHING for Nagi. Borderlines love extremely hard! It's one of our best traits and I think it's important to showcase that Reo is a massive sweetheart at his core. He clearly loves Nagi a lot and goes to extreme lengths to make sure he feels taken care of. To someone with BPD, NOTHING is too big of an ask for a person they love, especially if that person is their fp. I also disagree with the argument that Reo 'made' Nagi codependent. Nagi likes being taken care of, he says it all the time. If you ask me, I would actually argue that Nagi takes advantage of Reo a little bit because he knows that Reo will do anything for him. But regardless, I think that Reo starts to develop an unspoken expectation with Nagi that he'll provide him with everything he needs, and in turn, Nagi will stick around. I don't think he's doing this intentionally, nor do I think it's being done in a manipulative way. I just think that Reo has a dormant fear of being abandoned that he doesn't totally know he has yet.
It isn't just Nagi that Reo showcases having unstable relationships with, though. Zantetsu is another good example. Reo starts out disliking Zantetsu, he snaps at him a couple times, and calls him a moron more than once. He starts to warm up to him because Nagi tells him to. The favorite person has MASSIVE sway in the borderline's life. If Nagi likes someone, Reo likes them too. (This is, of course, on the condition that they aren't a threat, looking at you Isagi).
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In the immediate next chapter, Reo is acting like they're all best friends. He's climbing on top of them in their big bed, saying that the three of them are gonna win their matches, being a little pookie. He goes from not liking this guy at all to considering him one of his close friends super fast. Also on the topic of Isagi, when they're making up the teams for the second selection, Nagi doesn't initially want to tell Reo that he wants Isagi on their team bc he's worried Reo will be upset. But, when he does finally say it, Reo is literally fine with it because like I said, who Nagi likes, Reo likes! On the condition that they don't replace Reo, which clearly happened soon after.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, Reo also shows how he can go from loving someone to despising him very quickly. After Chigiri and Kunigami tell him to get back up in the game post-Nagi's abandonment, we can literally see the switch flip in Reo's head:
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Suddenly, he hates Nagi. Nagi's a jerk who abandoned him; he never cared about him, and he threw him away. Dude literally says "Let's kill the bastards that betrayed us". This act of unintentional devaluing is called splitting. What Reo's essentially doing is going from one extreme to the other: if Nagi isn't his perfect treasure, he's the devil that broke his heart. There's no room for a grey area. The reasoning behind borderline's developing this black-and-white mindset is rooted in self-defense. If Reo devalues Nagi into being nothing more than a traitor, then he's stripping away the power that Nagi has to hurt him. If he looks at him like a rival or a villain, it's protecting him from being hurt by Nagi again.
That doesn't mean that he genuinely believes any of this, more so, he's trying to convince himself that it's true. We see that at his core, the reason he's acting like this is because he's hurt. I'll go more into it later on, but he's constantly thinking, what does Isagi have that I don't? What do I have to do in order to win Nagi back? This black-and-white thinking is an automatic self-defense mechanism that I think he's doing subconsciously. Regardless, the shifting he's doing here can cause a little whiplash, which brings me to:
Varied or random mood swings + Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights:
I can’t think of a better way to describe Reo's temperament than the wiki, so let me quote it: "Generally, he seems to feel every emotion with full force and is extremely aware of his own faults and shortcomings, which is evident in several instances of painful breakdowns shown in the spin-off manga. Due to his high emotionality, he can even get violent when he loses his temper."
Reo is characterized as being emotionally unstable. When he's happy, he's elated! When he's sad, he's miserable. There are a ton of scenes between the manga and spin-off manga that show how fast his emotions can flip, but this one was one of my personal favorites:
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In this scene, Reo has developed a little scheme in the dining hall where the guys are trading their side dishes. At face value, a throwaway moment. But, I think it's worth looking at because not only does this show Reo's emotional response being triggered in an opposite, semi-extreme direction, but the root cause for the reaction was that he felt rejected by Zantetsu. In his own weird way, he's asking Zantetsu to come over and hang out with him. He's not being exceptionally clear with that message, but I can still pick up on it. "You wanna join in, don't you?" He's extending the invite, making himself vulnerable, and Zantetsu shoots him down by saying nah, I'm fine with my noodles. Reo JUMPS on him like YOU KNOW WHAT? I TOOK THAT PERSONALLY! lol. Jokes aside, I think this moment is a great one to argue Reo's BPD tendencies because it's such a seemingly mundane interaction. Even Zantetsu is surprised by Reo's random outburst. This also sets up the fact that one of Reo's most obvious triggers is being rejected/abandoned/betrayed, an extremely common one between those of us with BPD.
Other instances of Reo having a bad temper are a lot more obvious. In the match against teams V and Z, Reo straight up elbows Raichi in the throat, and then tries to go throw hands with Kuon for hurting Nagi. He only stops because if he gets into any more fights, he’ll get thrown out of the game and won't be able to play with Nagi anymore. He’s visibly pissed though and calls Team Z a joke. Hell, even Reo himself can recognize on a certain level that he can't control his emotions: they control him. They cloud his judgment and make him react in ways that he wish he didn't.
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He is constantly plagued by these extreme emotional reactions that are out of his control. Not to say that people with BPD are unable to ever control their emotions, because we can! It takes time and therapy and practice though, which Reo hasn't had. His lack of regulation is also why he has such a dramatic and extreme meltdown when Nagi abandons him.
Fear of Abandonment:
Reo's biggest trigger and the cause of his inner turmoil throughout Blue Lock is his fear of abandonment. I mentioned before that I think he's had this fear dormant inside of him for a while as so many borderlines do, since he hasn't had the chance to experience it before. He alludes to it early on when they first arrive at Blue Lock:
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The thought of leaving Nagi for somebody else? Reo considers that heartless. They came together, after all. They're going to win the world cup together. Nagi could break both of his legs and Reo wouldn't leave him, because again, Reo isn't there to team up with the best player and become the best striker in the world: he's there to play with Nagi!! And, like I said, in Reo's mind it's him and Nagi vs everyone else-
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Reo exhibits a lot of signs early on of being jealous while they're playing in Blue Lock. I mean, as we discussed, everything should be focused around him and Nagi. When Nagi passes to Zantetsu in the team V and Y match, Reo pulls up like 'hey, why didn't you pass it to me?? ):' There are a lot of little moments like that, but Reo's jealousy is a lot more relevant to my argument after he gets abandoned by Nagi.
Let's talk about that word: abandoned. It seems dramatic, right? Reo uses that term constantly and exclusively. Every time he brings that moment up, he uses the word 'abandoned', or he'll say 'betrayed' or 'chose'. These are very definitive words. He’s not saying Nagi ditched him or flaked on him or blew him off, no; he has abandoned him. That word choice may seem disproportionate to the situation, but that's Reo's reality. This was the ultimate betrayal to him. The constant use of that vocabulary reiterates that in Reo's mind, there is no grey area. Either Nagi chooses him, or he chooses someone else. In choosing someone else, he abandons Reo. Reo is paranoid that Nagi isn't ever going to come back to him and it's because of something that Reo is lacking. How can Nagi like Isagi more than him, anyway?
Now, I do fault Nagi a bit for not communicating better at that moment. I understand that he's bad at communication, but I don't think Reo could have been more obviously upset if he tried. The dude was in TEARS. Nagi saw him devastated and then expected everything to be fine when he met him in the bathhouse? Idk. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't realize it would upset Reo to such an extreme: maybe he thought that they would miss each other, but Reo wouldn't take it personally. I'm doing my best not to harp on Nagi since this is about Reo.
Abandonment is detrimental to people with BPD. It causes extreme inner turmoil that we see with Reo as the story progresses because it is the only thing he can think about. If he isn't trying to cover up his hurt feelings with this idea of revenge, he's self-destructing over being abandoned. He becomes obsessed with wondering why Nagi chose Isagi over him. Was there something wrong with him? Isagi isn't that impressive, why would Nagi rather be with him? These thoughts torture him endlessly and fuel his desire to 'steal' Nagi back. He literally says to Isagi, that he's going to steal Nagi back. Much to his dismay though, Reo starts to notice that Isagi is bringing out some positive traits in Nagi. Nagi's entire vibe is different with Isagi. Nagi is having fun playing soccer without Reo. In fact, he's having more fun. He's making plays he's never made before. His face is visibly different; he's more excited than before.
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This is heartbreaking for Reo. Not only was he right that Isagi did have something to offer Nagi that he couldn't, but Reo is having a massive self-hate spiral during this point as well, so he's internalizing all of his flaws and mistakes while the thought is sitting in the back of his head: did Nagi actually have a good reason for abandoning me? Was I not enough to satisfy him? Did I only drag him down? This gets significantly worse the longer he watches Nagi and Isagi play:
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Everything is falling apart. Nagi is doing completely fine without Reo, and Reo is an absolute mess. We're circling back to Reo's lack of identity here as well. He's watching firsthand that he's losing Nagi to Isagi: what does he do? What happens to him if he loses Nagi, who is he without Nagi? He's overwhelmed during this match and at one point Reo literally screams that he's going to tear apart their connection. Jealousy is consuming him, but it's also those feelings of inferiority and wondering if he really did deserve to be abandoned. If Nagi is so happy without him, maybe he really did have a reason. These are the thoughts that are circling around in Reo's head. Not to mention, he is constantly tortured by the flashbacks of Nagi leaving him, which I think is a great detail. Some readers might say it's just pointless recapping but I disagree, I think it's depicting how traumatic that was for Reo. As a borderline, being abandoned by your fp IS traumatic. Reo relives that moment so many times because so many things trigger it for him throughout Blue Lock. He can't even look at Chigiri and Kunigami without thinking about him and Nagi. It's a really devastating experience that quickly deteriorates him emotionally.
Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness + Suicidal behavior or self-injury:
One of my favorite things about Reo is the fact that he is self-aware that he's behaving somewhat irrationally, but he doesn't know how to stop. When we look at one of the several times that Reo is curled up crying over Nagi, he mentions how he really did want to tell Nagi to go and have fun, but he didn't. He couldn't. The visuals shift for this too:
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Reo doesnt want to be acting this way, but he can't help it, and that's frustrating to him. It makes him start feeling ashamed of himself. His inner thoughts start to spiral and he feels weak and alone. He's reflecting here on what his true feelings really were at that moment, and how scared and lonely and weak he felt as a result of Nagi leaving him behind.
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These feelings quickly evolve into Reo feeling worthless and falling into bouts of self-hatred. He's so ashamed of the way he's feeling and behaving but it feels so out of his control. He says, "maybe if I hadn't gone to Blue Lock in the first place, I wouldn't have to experience this feeling." As I said before, borderline's feel things EXTREMELY intensely; the disorder is described as living with third-degree burns all over your body. Everything hurts. His feelings are so intense and all-consuming right now, it's all he can think about:
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I saw some posts in the fandom reddit asking why Reo is acting like this. One in particular reads: "I get that he is betrayed and stuff but he is acting like it’s the end of the world, is it explained later why he acts like this? Is it because he doesn’t think he can win without Nagi?" Not to call this person out, I just want to answer the question in this post-
It has nothing to do with winning; it was never about winning. It was always about Nagi.
If we're looking at Reo through the borderline lens, it IS the end of the world for him. Nagi was his world. What's worse, he's fully aware that he's not acting rationally and he doesn't know why, which is making him feel ashamed and weak and embarrassed. Now I know why he's acting like this, but there are no Blue Lock psychiatrists sitting around to wack him with the mood stabilizers or the DBT handbook, so he's gonna stay feeling like a monster.
He lets these thoughts, along with the resentment and anger from being abandoned in the first place, fuel him for the second selection match. As he's watching the game play out, as Nagi is about to score the winning goal, Reo's mind starts racing with intrusive, negative thoughts.
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He's praying that Nagi fails, that he gives up, that he stops trying, anything to stop that solidifying moment where he scores the winning goal and proves once and for all that not only was Reo not strong enough to stop him, but Nagi doesn't need him anymore. He catches himself really quickly, because he realizes he's sounding just like his parents. Everything is spinning out of control so bad, Reo wants Nagi to end up in a vulnerable position so that he isn't the only one falling apart. As he catches himself thinking this, he's disgusted with himself. He calls himself 'utter trash', and as he watches Nagi score the winning goal, he falls to his knees, wishing he was dead.
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As he sits there decomposing in emotional turmoil and suicidal ideation, Nagi's team chooses Chigiri to join them, and it's the nail in the coffin. This is probably Reo's lowest point in the entire story IMO. Nagi comes up to compliment him on his plays and Reo shows us another classic borderline move: he's anticipating how bad it's going to hurt to be abandoned by Nagi again, so he's trying to push him away before it can happen. We see the dichotomy of his spoken words and inner thoughts here, where he's talking big game to Nagi, saying things like 'you clearly don't care about me anymore, you're throwing me away, if you're going to abandon me just do it properly', while internally he's thinking 'I'm the worst, I wish I was dead, please take this bait and break my heart so that I can self destruct in peace'.
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i LOVE the visuals during this moment. This is what Reo thinks is his last line of defense, the last thing he can do to preserve any part of his dignity is to make Nagi hate him so that he'll stop throwing these crumbs of affection at him. It's also really telling that despite his switch in behavior and the devaluing of Nagi, the root of all of that is STILL that he was so hurt by the abandonment.
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I don't think I need to analyze the suicidal ideation because he just straight up says he wants to die like three times in this scene but, aside from that, the visual of his inner thoughts vs what he's actually saying is so powerful. Not to mention the chameleon imagery which i'll geek out about in a second, this is another example of his black and white thinking along with the reiteration that being abandoned was literally traumatic for Reo: he says they can never go back to what they were before. Speaking as a borderline, this is painfully true. When people break my trust even in a small way, I can never view them the same as I used to. I can forgive them and let it go, but I'll never be as open with them as I once was. In Reo's shoes, he had Nagi up on this pedestal that he was perfect and would never do anything to hurt him, but he did hurt him (in the worst way possible).
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After Nagi tells him he's a pain in the ass and that he doesn't care anymore, Reo thanks him for 'finishing him off'. In his mind, they're done now and he can suffer in peace and quiet without dragging Nagi down anymore.
Bonus Point: The Chameleon Effect
I LOVE THE FACT THAT HIS THING IS CHAMELEONS AHHHH
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The chameleon imagery with Reo makes me INSANE dude. As I mentioned towards the beginning of this post, a part of borderline that is seldom talked about is the tendency to take on 'the chameleon effect', or mirror the people around them. REO'S ENTIRE THING IS CHAMELEONS LIKE BFFR ?? That image where he was trying to get Nagi to hate him, was before he even started using his chameleon style, it was just something the authors thought was necessary to include during Reo's mental breakdown. Aside from the cool imagery, his chameleon style is a reflection of his relationship with Nagi. He gets called a jack of all trades and a master of none early on in reference to how when he’s without Nagi, hes not really exceptional at anything. He never really took the time to master one specific thing because he was always so concerned with helping Nagi. This rings my BPD bell for a couple reasons: first of all, when you have no sense of identity and you’re worried it means you have no real personality ?? Steal one!! Take the closest person to you and copy that one. That’s something us baddies know VERY well. Also, think there’s something about you that your fp doesn’t like? Change it! You can morph into anything they want as long as it means they won’t leave you !! :*) Before he makes up with Nagi, he copies moves in hopes that it'll make him stronger and appear more desirable to Nagi. After they make up, he copies whoever he has to so that he can get Nagi to that goal and make himself useful, make himself somebody that Nagi wants to have around. It is a literal direct metaphor for him changing anything and everything about himself for Nagi and graaaahhhh it’s so cool
Reonagi ?? Some thoughts-
I want to close this yap session with my thoughts on Reonagi as a ship. I do think that they can work and I want to make that clear. I'm not on board with the 'borderlines arent capable of having loving and fulfilling relationships' crap. That being said, they both have to put in a bit of effort. Reo has already recognized a lot of his own issues. He admits that he was wrong for pushing his ideals onto Nagi, that he needs to let Nagi grow and be his own person, etc. Nagi really hasn't accepted any fault. I stand by the fact that Nagi needs to be more sensitive with Reo. Way too often when a relationship like this fails, all the blame is put on the one with borderline. I'm gonna be the outlier here and say that if Nagi cares about Reo, he needs to learn about Reo's triggers and be mindful of them. I'm not saying that since Reo is sensitive to abandonment that Nagi should just isolate himself from everybody else, but what I am saying is that when he's going to do something that doesn't involve Reo, he needs to learn how to communicate that he still loves and values Reo. "I'm gonna go play soccer with this person right now, but I haven't forgotten about our promise. When I come back, we can play together. I still love you and I'm not going to leave you for whoever tf I'm playing with rn." (sneaking that 'i love you' in bc like..they're literally canon at this point asdfghjkll) But, I do think that Nagi loves Reo and cares about him in his own way. The two of them just have to keep working on their communication skills. Nagi has the potential to have a hot rich husband who will literally bend over backward for him and buy him all the robux he could ever want, he's gotta put in a shred of effort!
I also like to think that Nagi didn’t totally get the fact that Reo doesn’t gaf about just playing soccer. Nagi thinks soccer is what they do together, it’s what makes reo happy, right? He’s always pushing him to train harder and take the game more seriously because he likes the sport, RIGHT? It would make perfect sense to go play with isagi so that he can get better at soccer and come back to reo a more improved player. Maybe that’s why he was surprised when Reo was so mad in the bathhouse, bc he wasn’t making the connection that Reo cares more about him than soccer. That Reo puts all that energy into him playing soccer because he thinks it’s something that they can have as their own, and once Nagi notices how good he is, he’ll start enjoying it and the two of them can hold hands and run around the soccer pitch!! I think Nagi missed that part tbh, and I don’t think he know that even now in the story. Maybe Reo doesn’t even notice it.
Anyway, a shameless plug to my reonagi playlist if that's your thing (i cooked with this one, i fear) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5CsvSqmuI4cxOl1nTaV4GJ?si=737a0f21e0bd482a
Closing Thoughts:
Reo is a bpd baddie and I love him very much. I think he's a sensitive guy with a lot of feelings who would benefit from taking time to work through his trauma and his emotions. I hope that he eventually is able to build an identity for himself that doesn't involve Nagi, but baby steps, I suppose. I think Reo is a great balance of positive and negative borderline traits and he reads as a really believable and sympathetic character. He is, however, definitely that friend that you have to slap to stop them from running back to their ex.
Jokes aside though, BPD can be extremely hard to live with, even more so when it's undiagnosed and untreated. If someone you love has BPD, take the time to read up on it and do your best to understand them. I promise you, it will mean the world to them.
If you managed to get this far, thank you for reading! This was a messy stream of consciousness and I appreciate your support by listening.
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masterof-blabber · 2 days
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Dragons Rising S2P2 predictions because I can keep them to myself no longer 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️
Ok this is going to be mostly Arin/Sora centric because HOOOO BOY do I sense trouble in the air for these two
First of all, Arin is DEFINITELY going to find out about Sora helping him out with the object spinjitzu thing and I think he’s going to be really really hurt. They spent so much time this season building up his feelings of insecurity and finding this out is going to bring them back in a HUGE way.
Another thing the writers spent a long time building up was Arin’s innate goodness/kindness/naivety. Call me crazy but I think he’s going to learn shatterspin in part 2 - the one thing that literally requires destroying the goodness in your soul. I don’t think he’ll use it much but I think he will learn it and be irreversibly changed
I can envision the lead-up to it so vividly and I think finding out what Sora did is going to be the tipping point. I think the rough timeline would go something like this:
Things are going well-ish. Arin’s confidence is restored and he’s back to training with a new enthusiasm. I don’t think he’ll master object spinjitzu at this point but he’ll be seeing more success and feeling better about himself
Something will happen - my guess some sort of pivotal battle where they’re relying on Arin’s object spinjitzu to save the day and it won’t work and Sora will have to come clean.
Arin - betrayed and insecure - lashes out towards Sora, and then towards Lloyd and the others when they try to comfort/calm him down. He says he needs some time to himself and runs off somewhere
While he’s alone, he’s approached by some force of evil (maybe Ras, or Ras’ master, or someone different entirely) and they use his insecurity to convince him that the ninja are holding him back - think like his conversation with Ras in part 1 - and because he’s feeling so awful about it he’ll agree to join them
Training under this new person, they’ll encourage him to work with all this insecurity and build up a ton of anger towards the ninja - especially Sora and Lloyd - and I think they’ll get him to use that to learn shatterspin
Also pretty sure Sora will learn spinjitzu & rising dragon in p2. Thematically this makes a lot of sense as Sora has been very intertwined with dragons since her introduction (she literally NAMED herself after one), and her element is all about creating new things and pushing the limits of what she can do.
Meanwhile Arin doesn’t have an element (as far as we’re aware, and I really hope it stays that way), and a parts his design speak to oni imagery - the horns especially. I don’t think it’s far-fetched so assume that under the right circumstances he may turn to destruction
Creation and Destruction never ever show up without each other in ninjago. They are completely linked and a recurring theme in the show and I think this will become WAY more evident as dragons rising progresses
Other small things:
Someone will find Jay, probably. (Hopefully!!!!) I’m hopeful for an angsty arc but in all honesty it seems like it’ll resolve quite quickly once they do find him. Tbh im happy either way I just miss my wife
Cole/Geo won’t become explicitly canon but they will continue being delightfully queercoded
I think Wyldfyre and Nya are both going to struggle without Kai,, he’s sort of been a father figure to both of them and knowing he’s stuck somewhere he might never escape from is gonna be really hard on them (esp for Nya who’s already sort of lost one of the most important people in her life)
More Wu info??? (Hoping for this! Hes present in at least one of the new sets (dragon stone shrine, linked below) so im hopeful we’ll find out what happened that silly old guy
PIXAL return???? (I’m begging on my hands and knees)
Arin Sora and Wyldfyre will meet Fritz and Spitz idk I just think that would be cute
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Paradise Lost is really good inspiration when writing Raphael in fics but let me expose you to something I’d argue is even better; a short but kinda sweet alternative for Paradise Lost
It’s a poem (but tbh it’s basically a short story) called The Demon by Mikhail Lermontov. Its about a demon who falls in love with a mortal woman on her wedding night, and plagues her until she relents, and that’s all I’ll spoil here. It’s only only 50~ pages long but my god some of the quotes in that book had me for real, here’s some examples;
"See on her heart my seal's impress….For where I love, there I possess."
"Let me but glance, and at its birth - Hope shudders and is desolated."
“My Heaven, my Hell, my all, art thou."
“And then I sought mankind to win — An easy task to plant within, Such pliant souls a love of sin. For good was strange, and bad was kin."
"Mocking the dark with lurid light — Oh ! Hell — her soul is thine to-night !"
“For I in loving, as in hating. Am great like God — not weak like man.”
“The stars of Heaven, and I will make thee Queen of the world, my deathless love”
There’s a lot more, I especially like when he talks about the garland and heavens dew ect. I’ve definitely used these quotes in my own lil fic, it’s a nice departure from paradise lost since that’s so long in comparison to siphon through lol. These quotes kinda fit Raphael more anyway since it is literally poetry and rhymes, but here’s my favourite quote in the whole thing, because it’s so sweet and nothing bad ever happens afterward;
“I'll soar or dive to seek thee treasure — Oh, love me — And with words of love He kissed her trembling mouth with burning Lips, and the impact of that fire Thrilled her, as answering all her yearning, Kindling temptation and desire.”
Like Raphael, the demon in the story is very poetic and charming, with all the sweet nothings he says to her but at the same time he can’t help himself and literally compares himself to god, or his love for her to that of god. At one point she even asks him why he loves her, and he literally goes on a rant about himself and how tormented he is, and even she’s like bro why are u telling me this just repent to god or something lol.
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EDIT:
Here's some links to the poem, the first one is what I recommend at least first since its a lot more readable and provides some citations to explain things, though the second one is where the picture above is from and it reads better sometimes.
https://archive.org/details/demonthe00lermrich/page/n67/mode/2up
https://faculty.washington.edu/jdwest/russ430/demon.pdf
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prince-kallisto · 2 days
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I told myself that I’d take it easy on the theories today, but I finally finished Book 5 in my own game and was starting Book 6 when a line caught my attention 😭
I remember a few weeks ago there was discussions of who brought Yuu back to Ramshackle after Grim attacked us. Malleus, Crowley, or even Ambrose. But as I started there first chapter of Book 6, this was the opening line:
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“Am I in the clouds?” Yuu then has their vision about Hercules, which coincidentally takes place in the clouds. But Yuu spoke about the clouds before they had their vision…and I think the clouds may hint a lot at how brought us back to Ramshackle (spoiler I think it’s Crowley BC OF COURSE ANDBHD)
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But anyway, if we go back to the last chapter of Book 5, it ends with Grim going missing, and when we run all the way to coliseum to find him, he’s digging up the literal stage to find the Blot Crystal. He attacks us, leaving up with a scratch on our hand. But what’s interesting to me is that how we blacked out in that moment.
I completely understand the possibility of Malleus taking us back. After all, he’s been around Yuu more often as the game progresses. However, I’d have to wonder several things, like why would he be at the coliseum this late, instead of his usual place like Ramshackle? Or, why not stop Grim before Grim ran away? Malleus does boast of being faster than any human or animal after all. Or why leave Yuu by themselves when injured? Of course, there could definitely be answers to these questions- he’s definitely a likely candidate! \(//∇//)\ But I think above all- why would he not mention this again to Yuu, or anyone else of what happened?
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However, when we go back one more chapter, right before Grim eats the Blot Crystal, Crowley and Ambrose have a discussion inside the coliseum. Ambrose points out the abnormally high levels of magic in a place that should be just for student activities. What’s interesting is how Crowley so easily brushes him off- a little too easily. Crowley makes it sound natural, of course, but I’m sure he’s very well aware of what occurred inside the coliseum, especially since it was Vil’s Overblot.
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Crowley then leaves, but this is the last we see of him in Book 5- being in the coliseum. Crowley has been known to stay out of the vital events in the main story, which may be on purpose. Compared to say, Malleus or Ambrose, I don’t think he would’ve tried to stop Grim from escaping, or even eating the Blot Crystals. (And interestingly enough, Crowley does not explain the Blot Crystals until Book 6, where it’s too late to reverse the damage done on Grim. However, Crowley explicitly knew about the blot crystals ever since Book 2)
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In the main story, it’s literally been a “running gag” that Crowley shows up at the precise moments when students are in need of his advice or help. Again, he stays out of the major plot points, but he’s always served as a very subtle guide throughout the story, nudging the students in a certain direction (e.g the battle for housewarden in Book 1, dropping in to explain the SDC in Book 5). And at the start of Book 6, Yuu wakes up back in their room, injury still unattended to, as if they never left their room, with no hint or even questioning of who brought them back to their dorm.
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And coming back to the line of “Am I in the clouds?,” it’s been very consistently shown that Crowley flys around campus A LOT. In the Special Lessons he drops from in mid-flight, and the 4koma anthology also has shown it in a more humorous way. Malleus and Lilia know how to fly with magic as well, but then the previous questions I mentioned with Malleus still apply here 🤔 And if we look at the map of the school, there is certainly a distance between Ramshackle and the Coliseum- a distance worthy of flight.
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So…putting this together, I feel positive that Crowley knew about the events occurring in the coliseum. Perhaps he dropped in to investigate on his own after everyone left the SDC, or he intervened to specifically help Yuu because we somehow blacked out. We don’t know how Crowley appears randomly in the main story at the exact moment when his advice is needed, but he does nonetheless. And it may have been the same situation here. And knowing from how he stays out of the main story, he wouldn’t have stopped Grim from running off, or even explain to Yuu what happened once they’re brought back to the dorm. Remember, he acted like absolutely nothing of note happened when Ambrose questioned him- and so naturally too. Since the distance between the coliseum and Ramshackle was significant (it may have risked Yuu waking up), he brought us back by flying through the distance, leaving us in bed as if nothing happened at all.
…This whole theory is just to say I want Crowley to carry me in his arms AUGH 😭😭😭😭😭💖💖💖 please twst I want that so badly andjsjdjshd him carrying us through the air as he flies would be like a dream 🐦‍⬛
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merakiarchives · 1 day
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Oh my lord I love your work so much! Especially in such a small fandom! Could I possible get some eironn headcannons? :0 hrs my favorite and has been since afk arena bahaha anything works!
Oh.. What I’d do for you..
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౨ 🦢 ⋆゚ ⊹ ˚ ✦ 💚 ৎ
Characters: Erionn x GN! Reader
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Genre: Fluff, Hcs
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Warnings: None!
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A/N: Hey guys! I’m alive and back! Definitely not on the verge of falling asleep while writing this lol.
౨ 🌾 ⋆゚ ⊹ ˚ ✦ 🪷 ৎ
It’s not a secret that Eironn was in love with you. But did anyone really know to what extent?
Slowly, he would always find himself taking your hand and bringing you to a quiet hiding place in the Dark Forest. Only to chuckle when he notices you were too busy looking around when he began to try and talk to you
Will always fuss when your clothes are messy. Although does admire you when you end up getting dirty anyway when you play with the kids around the village
Will actually pick you up and carry you away from the village if you tell him you have to work, have guard duty, or even just normal chores. Lyca let you in on the secret that he absolutely hates chores. But, much more when you have chores.
Has, accidentally, and he swears by this, pulled you into his chest and cuddled you when he was sleeping on more than one occasion
Will occasionally tease you about your height. Even if you're only an inch shorter than him, he still will.
If you have any pets, and do you spend more time with them? Erionn will quite literally pick them up and gently throw them across the room. He absolutely hates the thought of you being hoarded by an animal sometimes. Even despite his love for the creatures.
Will sometimes drag you back towards him using his wind powers. (I don't know what they're called help..)
Overall just loves you so much, make sure you pet his horns though.. He absolutely melts under your touch.
౨ 🥭 ⋆゚ ⊹ ˚ ✦ 🍃 ৎ
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neyafromfrance95 · 3 hours
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In regards to Cooper vs. Maximus as Lucy's endgame-I think Lucy x Max is an idealized type of crush for both of them: he is the nicest surface-dweller to her and first conventionally hot, same-age guy since her dead ex-husband (but nicer, so far, by her world's standards) but Cooper x Lucy is more unexpected since he's older, he's a ghoul, and they're not insta-buddies like her and Max.
But if there really is a "love triangle" planned, then I think Max is the Romantic False Lead trope especially since Lucy x Max became canon in the first season whereas Lucy x Cooper has more of a slow-burn potential, plus more natural chemistry between the actors than Lucy x Max does.
i'm very hesitant to make any predictions regarding the character/relationship development in the future season(s) of fallout.
i think the fact that they made lucy x max jump on a romance wagon so quickly might mean that something must change in the future. right now we know that they are taking two different paths.
i expect max and dane's dynamic to be developed more and that could be very intriguing. max is an interesting character with a lot of potential, but i don't think this potential can be explored if he stays with lucy bc that way he will remain a knight in a singing armour.
and obviously lucy and the ghoul are going to have a special relationship. lucy will discover her non-brainwashed self as well.
i don't think there will be a love triangle. either the series will show us lucy and max growing apart, or rather "growing out" of each other, and closer to the other people, or they might get together at the very end.
it's just that they framed lucy and max separation in a way that makes the viewers think that surely they will get back together very quickly and they will get together as the same people they were when they separated, but i think it's a red herring and the two will meet again as the very different people. alexa play "somebody that i used to know" by gotye.
also, i think max and lucy have a nice chemistry, but it's not s*xually charged chemistry. and some ppl need to stop claiming that we say that bc we think max is boring. he isn't. but BOTH lucy AND max have a more engaging dynamic with the ghoul and dane respectively. i think it's bc lucy and max are aggressively hetero-framed, if that makes sense.
i mean, max x his simp she/her enby comrade and lucy x the literal 200 years old ghoul who sees her as his mirror both sound more fun, imo.
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night-market-if · 15 hours
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!﹒dear author, i really admire the way you do your storytelling. i’m going to be honest, at first i really didn’t like your take on interactive fiction. i finished book 01 and i was super frustrated by the ending, especially since i was a milo-mancer! i was used to reading IFs where the author’s tend to write the story to “satisfy a select group of player’s wants”, so playing the night market was completely different from the games i usually play. it wasn’t until i did a new play through with the previous perspective from the first play through in mind that i absolutely fell in LOVE with the story. it’s genuinely such a complex work. i really like how the MC is technically “the main character” (quite literally…) but you still make sure to focus on the CAST, too! thank you for responding (if you do) i hope you have an amazing day!
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i’m a newbie writer and i hope this isn’t invasive, but i would really like to know what process you went through to create “the night market” ! especially the characters and world building. how did you craft them? did it take a long time? since it’s interactive fiction, do you use a writing outline or method to help guide you through writing all the different paths?
those are all the questions i really have. you can respond with anything related to writing that you’re comfortable with sharing. i would just like to know about your writing planning in general, since i find it hard for me to really get started.
That is a really good way to put it. There are for sure stories that cater to a players wants. And I have always said that it is a valid form of storytelling and gaming. I just don't enjoy them as much so I won't enjoy writing it. Thank you so much for giving me another chance. I really appreciate it.
As for my process? I can give you my process and then firmly state that you should not use that process. LOL
I don't plan anything. I don't use any of the wonderful writing tools that are out there to keep chapters, lore, characters, world building, etc. I don't even know how things are going to end or what I'm going to write for each chapter. I am one of those writers that goes in blind and firmly believe that my characters tell the story. The only thing I can say that I do that probably helps me is write these characters a lot outside of the Night Market. I RP with them. I talk them out loud. I get to know them so well that they come to life when I'm writing and then I just let them wander.
Now that has of course bitten me in the ass before. Because I have had moments where I'll introduce something and then forget about it. Or realize much later that something should have gone in two chapters back. But, I learned a long time ago that if I storyboard anything out, I won't write it. The last two years is the most consistent writing I've ever done and I've been trying to write full blown stories for the last fifteen years of my adult life.
I don't recommend this process to people. I really really don't. But if you are someone that needs to have the story unfold for you as well, then maybe just try getting to know your characters enough. Because then you can put them in any situation and know exactly how they would respond.
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A bit after Lute starts on her redemption arc in Cradle Will Fall, she actually confesses to someone that in a lot of ways, it's much harder for her to look at Vaggie now than before she broke out of her denial that her daughter had been dead since the day she was left in Hell. Because at least then, whenever Lute did see Vaggie, she kept telling herself that it wasn't her daughter, just some demon parasite that had killed Vaggie and was using her body to mock Lute's pain. She could focus on just feeling anger, and channeling that into fighting more, to kill more of the disgusting demons who were part of the species that took her baby from her, until she could finally kill the parasite herself.
But once she fully accepted that Vaggie had been alive the whole time, and she'd literally maimed her own child and left her for dead because of her own hatred for demons and Sinners....Now Lute could only feel shame for what she did whenever she looked at her daughter's face, even though she knew she should have felt relieved. Her daughter was alive - they could at least work to making amends. But Lute knew there was no way she could make up for what she did, not even with potentially literally having eternity. Especially not with the reminder of her greatest failure staring her right in the face whenever she did look Vaggie in the eye...the fact that Vaggie was going to forever be missing her eye; because while Lute had only torn off Vaggie's wings, similarly to how she'd ripped her own arm off, meaning they were able to grow back eventually....Lute cut Vaggie's eye out with her sword. No matter what Lute did, she felt like she'd never be able to make amends or even come close to fixing what she'd done to her daughter.
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lovelybrooke · 3 days
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Omg, I didn't know I needed Hades self aware au, but now I find myself craving it so much! This is so fun to think about! Thank you for coming up with this, it's so gooood
I think I somewhere saw how the more time passes, the more the characters begin to feel the player, and maybe even hear? Imagine that after lots of times trying to get thorough an escape attempt - just hours of grinding and binging - with a lot of heat in Pact of punishment, and a lot of darkness in the mirror, when the Hades is down, and the player sigh in releaf or like claps and cheers, and Zagreus hears the player for the first time? Just the possible surge of emotions for him. And when he shows that he heard it just now. Nightmare fuel for the player, ecstasy for the prince
So in my personal opinion, I like reader being more omniscient, like if the characters are able to hear anything it's very faint. The reason if because I like the idea of these characters having a super idealized version of reader in their mind only to be surprised that they're just...normal.
However, you're are correct. As the game goes on, they start to feel more presence in more and more ways, especially Zagreus since he's the one you're actually controlling. I think if anyone is able to hear you, it's him, but again it's faint. I think it's similar to how Zagreus is able to hear the voices of the Olympians but can't respond to them because of how far away they are. It's the same with you, but since you're literally in a different world, he's barely able to hear you.
When it comes to praise, it's like a feeling of warmth for Zagreus. He's used to feeling hot, and eventually he learns what it's like to feel cold, but the middle ground is not something he's used to. Whenever you get excited for one of his accomplishments, warmth fill his body. He slowly starts to associate that feeling with you.
But hearing your voice, like a clear, undeniable sound of your voice, I think he almost feels this sense of pride because at this point, no one really believes him. Let's say the first time he hears your voice is right after you and him beat his father for the first time. He's super excited because this proves that you actually exist. Even I you weren't exactly talking to him, he just can't believe you're real. I don't think you'd realize anything was up though, since he'd be more concerned with finding his mother.
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