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#especially since Schlatt was pretty much abusive towards him
hamphobicbasil · 3 years
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Could u elaborate about the dsmp story being bad? Not a rabid/brain dead fan, just genuinely curious and I enjoy reading people's rants lolol
oh you dont know the floodgates you just opened
a few things:
1. despite not liking the creators of the dsmp anymore, I don't actually hate most of them. [the ones that are particularly unsavory fall outside of this of course] so all that I'm saying i truly mean in a critical sense towards the story, its also just all purely my opinion as someone who enjoys fictional and fantasy stories and who like criticizing works to see what it does well and what it doesn't do well
2. for clarification I'm going to use the c![name] to indicate when I'm talking about the characters. Don't get me wrong, I think its annoying too but its the only way I'm gonna be able to write this thing without getting something across the wrong way yknow?
3. I stopped watching the streams after November 16th, [save for one Techno one but I closed out after a particularly bad story beat lol] and so all information coming afterward is all second hand from either me seeing people on twt talk abt it or people dming me. All i really know is up to dream's imprisonment and some stuff past that.
4. This is mostly aimed towards the "main" story, so stuff abt the badlands, eggpire, and whatnot are briefly mentioned.
anyways uh, i'll try to be brief but also include enough information to get why i feel the way i do on some stuff across
A. Performances Alright obviously these people are all streamers, so obviously they might not be the best actors, and hell no one is even asking that of them. However, when you're telling a story that's based on the audio with the visuals kinda coming to a second, it's gotta be pretty strong. I will say, some of the best actors in my opinion are Wilbur, Tommy, and Tubbo. I would include Ranboo but I never watched any of his story bits or story streams so I can't say much. Wilbur and Tommy are excellent in selling their character's emotions and feelings, when I watch the stream I don't feel like I'm watching an rp but an actual thought-out story yknow? And one of my favorite Tubbo examples was in the Hog Hunt video whenever Techno attacked him, he sounded genuinely afraid and I believed everything his character was feeling.
However, unfortunately, not everyone is gonna be that good. And I'm gonna say it; Dream and Techno have to be the worst out of the entire cast. I understand Techno's whole character is this monotoned badass, however, when really emotional moments hit I feel like he never lets that fall, and a lot of intense moments just ring hollow. And I'm sorry but Dream's attempts at being intimidating leave me laughing whenever I watch them. It feels like he watched that one scene from The Marriage with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johannson and said "Oh this is what good acting looks like! Just yelling." His whole "I don't give a FUCK about Spirit!" speech isn't as great as people keep making it out to be. And whenever he tries to act coy when being a villain it feels like a guy reading the script for the first time, a bit like he's trying too hard. I have more problems with his character but his portrayal certainly doesn't help.
Everyone else is fine, and I don't feel strongly either way about a lot of them.
B. The "Lore" Okay first off, I can't be the only one who thinks it's silly that people are calling the dsmp's story "lore" when it's not, it's the fucking story. Lore indicates backstory to either the world or the characters, which a lot of the streams don't really pertain to. This is a really petty section but god it's a weird pet peeve of mine.
Other than the misusage of "lore" vs "story", the actual lore and world-building of the world are so lackluster that new elements can be introduced whenever and it often feels cluttered or not well thought out at all. And here's the thing, I feel like if the writers sat down just for a few minutes to establish world rules and general history, a lot of this could be solved! but so much is made up on the spot that it starts to feel like they're grabbing at straws to keep people invested, trying to reach that next high and intense story beat without actually earning it.
C. The Egg / Eggpire This is a pretty minor note since I was only invested in the Egg storyline for a little bit, but god it's so underused that it's almost embarrassing. Bad has provided this super interesting antagonistic force that's infecting the SMP, can control people, and who one of our main character is immune to, and it's just never used or even talked about again? Now I understand if he wanted to keep it to a side storyline only, however, to introduce this borderline eldritch creature and force within the world and then never have it dealt with is so weird.
D. The Writing Oh boy this is. kinda a big one. Now I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty obvious I have a bias for the Wilbur writing over the current team [that consisting of Dream, Quackity, and Tommy mostly]. I don't this his writing is perfect by any means, the characters constantly bringing up traitors got obnoxious after a while, and writing Hamilton but in Minecraft really isn't the modern Shakespeare or anything. However, I think his exploration of characters and plot progression was a lot more thought out and well planned, like he actually had two brain cells behind the story yknow? The current team I think fails to be as emotional or even impactful, things happened too fast and my god was everything drowned in angst for so long.
Don't get me wrong, you gotta have your characters face hardships to make them reach their goal believable, but some of the shit they put the characters through just felt like too much. From c!Tubbo's constant comparison to c!Schlatt [who btw, fucking ordered his death and kept him from his friends in a nation he felt trapped in] and on a side note, i kinda really fucking dislike the "c!Schlatt dad!!" au's or the au's where c!Tubbo inherits some of Schlatt's features, it would be like c!Tommy getting a c!Dream mask after his exile, it's feels so weird yet people eat that shit up for some reason.
But god, did c!Tommy get the brunt of it all and in retrospect after his final death, it kinda feels really fucking gross. Now obviously, I'm not trusting any of these people to write decent mental health representation, but c!Tommy's PTSD and how it was explored was just degrading. [Specifically the scene in that one Techno stream where he saw the final control room from the first war, and had a flashback / panic attack where he started calling out for c!Dream. I understand this is an actual thing people with PTSD will experience, but it felt so fucking stereotypical it got on my nerves. I actually had to close out of the stream because it made me feel sick, fiction shouldn't leave you feeling that way.] And don't get me started on how they basically reused the formula from the previous arc. [Problem introduced -> Tensions rise as things start to fall apart -> Big confrontation -> Exile -> Return from Exile -> Blowing up L'Manberg, again.]
And speaking of characters-
E. Character Arcs, or the lack of them In my genuine opinion, some of these characters' arcs are so disappointing. Especially c!Tommy's. I'm not one to believe that he was a "selfish" character or anything, however, his goals were simply set on his discs and maybe c!Tubbo, he didn't have much outside that. However, L'Manberg gave him something to care about, he gave up his discs for it and he fought for it tooth and nail, I think it taught him to open up to others and trust more. It was a great character arc for him to have, seeing him still fight even after his first exile alongside c!Wilbur, to return safely to the nation that he and his found family had built.
But then his second exile happened, and I feel like all of that was undone.
c!Tommy's exile genuinely pisses me off for so many reasons. It's not that characters can't have their low points after reaching a major change or feeling like they've "completed" their arcs or anything, but it's more of the fact that it seems like he's never going to heal that feels like a spit in the face, especially to people who might have had setbacks like that before. Progress isn't linear, sometimes things happen and you get knocked back down, it can take a while to get back up, but I don't think c!Tommy's character is ever going to be allowed to get back up. From c!Dream, who pretty much was a constant abuser in his life, killing him then reviving him, and his still fractured relationship with c!Tubbo, which by the way I have a had time believing they would still be friends after all that happened, it feels like he can never get a win and it's generally kinda a shit way to treat your characters who have been abused. Of course, not all abused characters are going to get happy endings, I'm not trying to dictate that they all should, but c!Tommy deserves one and the fact that it's so obscure feels shitty.
Side note: we still don't have a canon reason to give a shit abt the discs. Like I'm sorry but without some sorta connection to the MacGuffin why should we give a shit about him getting them other than "he wants them lol". Like hell, I would even accept the classic "they were the last gifts from his parents" or something, but we still don't have a reason.
c!Tubbo also lacks a fulfilling arc as well, from someone who started out as a yes man, he has progressed a bit into having his own interests first, but besides that sometimes his character makes me so. depressed. He's easily one of the most pushed around and hated characters within the story, all for being a kid who didn't know what to do and he's in the same vein as c!Tommy; these kids can't get a break. Also, his anti-violence beliefs morphing into the "lets kill c!Techno lol!" bit was so out of place and without proper build-up it was like. what. And now he's building nukes?? god c!Tubbo makes me so sad because he's kicked around constantly and never given a chance to grow.
Another small note, I also don't really enjoy c!Techno at all. Besides the previously stated reasons of lack of emotions when they're really needed, I find his character to be weirdly pretentious. He talks as if he's constantly been betrayed and hurt but I personally, don't see it? Like, I think one of the main examples was the Pogtopia vs. Manberg war, yknow he wanted to end the government but they just reinstated it after they won = c!Techno upset. But this doesn't make sense to me because why did he think otherwise? The entire time c!Tommy had talked about taking back their nation and starting again, so the fact that c!Techno suddenly thought there would be a sudden change is, to put it bluntly, kinda fucking stupid. I don't want to say that he "plays the victim" or anything because that feels a bit harsh, but his character feels so far up his own ass that I can't enjoy him.
I have a major grip with c!Dream as well, but that's getting it's own fucking section.
F. L'Manberg This is a quick note before we get into the, forgive me for this, endgame, of this entire rant, since the next two sections are tied together. But god, L'Manberg makes me upset because it feels like they gave up on it.
Don't get me wrong, I understand that it is supposed to be c!Wilbur's "unfinished symphony", the thing that destroyed a once charismatic and widely loved man, his attempt at power that utterly ruined him. But the fact that it just got blown up in the end after everything and left to rot felt like such a waste of time. From the first war, to Pogtopia, to even c!Tommy's exile, it all felt fucking worthless in the end, and the story is actively closer to how it was when it started now more than ever. I wished it was actually allowed to exist and continue to be a peaceful place in what is a chaotic world, but no it was just snuffed out because why dedicate to this concept of finding others you can band together with and feel safe. fuck that noise apparently?
G. The Villains Now villain-wise, I'm only talking about c!Dream [during the first war], c!Schlatt, and c!Wilbur. And believe it or not, this is actually mostly positive.
Now I'm not gonna lie, c!Dream as a staring antagonist wasn't bad actually, he posed a genuine and threatening opposition to L'Manberg, even if we didn't know his real intentions or motivations as to why he was against it. He's lucky in this sense because he didn't have to be good, he had to be passable. If anything, he felt more like an anti-hero than a tyrant or traditional villain, and my god do I wish he kept this theme going forward.
Now quick disclaimer, I don't like JSchlatt as much as the next guy, he's an adult man who should know better than to joke about some sensitive topics and act the way that he does. But the one thing I'll ever give him is that damn, was he a good actor for his character.
Now here's the thing, c!Schlatt wasn't particularly deep at all. He had no real motivations behind his exile of c!Wilbur and c!Tommy other than getting competition out of the way, had no reason to act the way that he did and yknow? that's fine. The reason why he worked was from his performance alone, he was actually intimidating. When he came onto the stream and was doing his typical bad guy stuff, it was actually intense to see what he would do. Whenever he would almost catch c!Tommy back in Manberg, whenever he would begin to pressure c!Tubbo, it put you on the edge of your seat and it felt like everything would change at the drop of a pen. He's a villain to be a villain, and this works out because he's just charismatic and well put together enough to make it interesting, even without the backstory or motives.
c!Wilbur however, is much more tragic, and the best villain of the story. He essentially was the "mentor turned evil" trope and it felt terrible watching him descend into madness, unable to trust barely anyone except for c!Techno and c!Tommy. Hell, in the end I think he still cared about them both, despite losing everything. Sure, he blew up L'Manberg, but there was still a smidge of the old c!Wilbur in there made everything he did feel melancholic. His death at the hands of his father after achieving his final wish was chilling, and something I still think about.
Until yknow, Ghostbur came back way too soon to let people feel his loss as a character within that world. And then he got revived, pretty much-undoing everything that moment meant for his character lol.
And then there's the worst one:
H. Dream. I'm going to be completely honest, c!Dream is one of the main reasons why I dislike the current dsmp stuff so much. Outside of his actions as a person, the way Dream decided to write his character as this overpowered madman of the dsmp really just. destroyed any intrigue that he could've had. Perhaps this is from my growing dislike towards him, manifesting into a bias towards his character, but god I cannot fathom why people try to insist he's interesting when he has as much depth as a fucking puddle.
And here's the thing, I'm not even entirely against c!Dream being a villain, hell I think he would've been great as an anti-hero if anything. Make him sympathetic but not through c!George to get your precious "DNF" points or anything, but show him actually caring about the people within the dsmp, including c!Tommy and c!Tubbo. This would make his rival status with them just a bit more complicated, sure they're enemies, however, he doesn't want to hurt or kill them, and there's still a level of friendship there that keeps them bonded when things get super bad. This could've been super interesting to see, the first villain of the story receiving a sorta redemption arc then descending into madness as he started to fixate on being a god. This is all how I feel personally, but god do I feel like it would've been better than his current character, and hell would've worked with how he was during the Pogtopia arc, before the war that is. I'm not trying to tell Dream how to write his own character, but there are so many other ways he could've done the madman seeking to become god rather then. whatever the hell we got.
Because instead, we got this power-mad asshole who does things... because he can? And that's one of my major issues: he tries to surround his character in mystery to make him "intriguing" but it's kinda like c!Techno, it comes off as pretentious. Not only that, but you cannot keep waving around this mystery of a backstory without ever actually revealing it. I know the story isn't over, but c!Dream is effectively at his lowest point, now would be the time to reveal his backstory. But no just keep it in the dark and keep everyone guessing, that's totally fun and not at all tiring and annoying. (sarcasm, if anyone needs it)
And back to his performance, he doesn't sell this aloof, cynical and strategic warrior that has perfected the blade or some shit, he comes off as some angry guy yelling on reddit. which i don't need to tell you, isn't intimidating. It feels like he's trying to have c!Schlatt's intimidation combined with c!Wilbur's depth, but instead he's like a little brother who's trying to hard to mimic his older brother and is kinda embarrassing himself.
but other then that i dont feel too strongly abt the dsmp lol
but seriously, these are the main complaints I have abt the story tbh, I could probably talk about more but I wont because man. this is probably gonna get me in trouble if any of the hyper-dsmp fans actually read it.
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quackinquack · 3 years
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Recap and Theories of Quackity’s Second Lore Stream
         1. Sam (72 hours before the visit)
So after the first cutscene which basically shows us that Quackity has been visiting Dream daily, we get to find out what was going on with Sam in the time between Tommy's death and revival. So we find Sam on an island in the middle of nowhere, where he's been overcome by grief and guilt over Tommy's death. Quackity and Sam talk, and eventually it gets to Quackity telling Sam it wasn't his fault that Tommy died, it's entirely Dream's fault. He continually escalates the situation in order to convince Sam to kill Dream with him, and in this conversation you can interpret Quackity as being sometimes genuine and caring or continuously manipulative (Although personally, I think it’s both). 
They leave the island in a rage, ready to kill Dream. Only for Sam to back out once they get to the prison. Sam says Tommy would want him to keep Dream locked up, and that if someone else dies, Dream is the only one who can do anything about it. At this point, Quackity lashes out at Sam for backing out, and claims that Sam can redeem himself by killing Dream. Sam, in my opinion, does want to kill Dream, and does hold a great amount of resentment and malice towards him, but is holding back mainly to respect Tommy’s wishes. 
An important exchange to end this conversation is: 
"It's okay if you don't want to do it Sam. But at one point or another, someone's gonna have to teach that guy a fucking thing or two. And if it's not you Sam, it's gonna be me.” 
"Okay, but we can't kill him."
So this is obviously a prelude to Quackity and Sam in the first lore stream. Now that Tommy has been brought back and Quackity has seen him, he has confirmation that Dream can revive people, making him valuable. Quackity manipulates Sam into letting him torture Dream by playing into his guilt over Tommy's death, as well as exacerbating his anxiety over something similar happening again in the future. He has already convinced Sam that Dream's death will be the only way to his own mental peace, even if he simultaneously feels it's his responsibility to keep him alive in order to abide by Tommy’s wishes. This also explains why during the exchange, Quackity reassures Sam multiple times that he won’t kill Dream.
Along with Tommy’s wishes, they still have another hangup: Dream is the only one capable of revival. So it makes sense that Sam is so willing to help and allow Quackity to torture Dream daily. Once he learns how to revive, Dream no longer holds any value or power. Not saying Quackity is gonna kill him after, butttt....remember that Quackity didn't actually sign any of the papers Sam gave to him when he first visited the prison...kind of indicates that when something goes wrong, Sam won't be able to hold Quackity responsible because Quackity never actually agreed to his terms. And whatever happens to Dream will fall on Sam’s shoulder.
(Sidenote: This also brings up a few questions and theories about revival. Depending on the rules of revival and what it requires, is it possible to revive oneself? Because I do have some theories about Dream visiting Schlatt in the afterlife after killing and reviving himself...)
So mainly for this chapter we get to understand their motives a bit better, we get a greater insight into Sam's character and his guilt, and we learn more about Sam and Quackity's relationship. Personally, I think Sam trusts and cares for Quackity, as exemplified by him worrying over Quackity being in a cell with Dream, as well as not checking that he signed the books. And I think Quackity does care somewhat for Sam...but not enough to not guilt him over Tommy's death so he can torture Dream. (More confirmation that Quackity is an 'ends justify the means' type of character now!)
        2. Badboyhalo (42 hours before the visit)
Okay this chapter revealed the most about potential future plots imo! Quackity digs down to the egg and places a bunch of TNT everywhere, only to be interrupted by Bad and Punz. We learn that Quackity wants the egg gone because of how it's affecting Bad - I believe Quackity wants Bad on the side of Las Nevadas, but only once the egg is gone. From their conversation a bit ago on Bad's stream, we know that Quackity thinks of Bad highly, but is also fully prepared to 'get in his way' if need be. In the end, Quackity does set off the TNT, and then we get a cutscene of him hazily walking through the area with the egg speaking to him. It says "how dare you try to take this one from me, you will suffer for this". 
Also, apparently during his conversation with George, he says 'what the egg', so some are theorizing that he's already been taken by the egg (throwback to Karl distracting Quackity away from the egg in the past, indicating in some future he was taken).
And another thing, Quackity has been shown the egg before (not sure if it was /rp though), but he went through the usual entrance. Which has led some to wonder how Quackity knew where to dig down to reach the egg, and if there's someone who leaked that info to him? I've also seen people say that the TNT near Punz seemed to go off first, so some are theorizing that Punz is maybe a traitor(?) though I don't know too much about Punz's character so take that with a grain of salt. I would also like to theorize that the traitor may actually be Fundy, considering one of his lore streams where he is chased down by a black figure, and once he sleeps there is Quackity's smile and casino sounds. Plus him being warned against Quackity in a book. 
Additionally: we've seen Puffy accidentally blow up a creeper on the egg, and all it did was turn obsidian for a couple seconds. I have a feeling that all that TNT didn't really do anything but upset the egg. That said, we also know Tubbo recently lost a nuke. I wonder if Quackity is attempting to blow up the egg again... 
This is all, of course, a prelude to Quackity and Bad's conversation in the first lore stream, so now we know why Bad seemed pretty hostile to Quackity, and why he essentially said Quackity was 'getting in his way'. (Although he did still visit Las Nevadas with him...) Potential allyship between Las Nevadas and the egg question mark?
        3. George (24 hours before the visit)
Quackity sees George standing outside the prison, and the two have a sweet and happy greeting, as it's been a while since the two talked. Quackity begins talking about Las Nevadas and the casinos (which we learn he built for each member of El Rapids) only to be interrupted by George asking 'what about Kinoko Kingdom?'. We learn that while George, Sapnap, and Karl have moved on from El Rapids already and created Kinoko Kingdom, Quackity has believed it to still be a country, going as far as to create Las Nevadas and casinos for them, and had no idea of even the existence of Kinoko Kingdom. George insists that Karl told him, but we quickly learn he didn't. The meeting ends with Quackity somberly agreeing to maybe visit one day.
Quackity and Sapnap/George/Karl's relationship is now soured a bit on Quackity's end. He doesn't seem angry or hateful to them, but instead unsurprised and saddened at their leaving him behind. (Also, on the wiki, Quackity's relationship sign towards Sapnap and Karl has changed while theirs hasn't towards him.) It seems likely that Karl may have forgotten to tell Quackity due to his memory issues which are a result of his time traveling. Whether that be him just forgetting to tell Quackity, maybe telling a past/future person similar to Quackity, or maybe he has completely forgotten who Quackity even is, is unknown at this point. On the side of him having completely forgotten Quackity though, we do have the fact that Karl has distracted/saved Quackity from the egg in the past, but didn't do so this time…It's also hinted at that Quackity created Las Nevadas as a place for the trio to get married (similar to Las Vegas!) so :( sad face. 
Also, I have no theories on why George was waiting outside the prison, but I'm sure you NotFounders have a couple ideas ;) In terms of Quackity's character, this chapter is him at his most vulnerable and emotional, and therefore provides us with the most insight to his character so far. In the previous lore stream, we saw him somberly take down El Rapids, piece by piece, then jarringly interrupted by his plans to torture dream daily. That cutscene seemed, to me, to be him moving on from El Rapids completely (although he does still seem to care for the El Rapids members). An attempt to both confront and let go of his past.
And the tone change makes me feel that this was very much the last straw for Quackity, and the 'new man' he's become is far less...friendly than he's been in the past. So we saw his moment of acceptance, but now we get to see his heartbreak. And it really is sad, the way he reacts to what is a betrayal in his eyes. He's unsurprised that he was unwanted and forgotten, even by his own fiancés. And I believe that's very much related to Quackity choosing to see Schlatt in the previous lore stream. For a quick recap, basically Quackity and Schlatt had a toxic/abusive relationship during the whole Manberg era. Quackity has, understandably, been very resentful towards Schlatt since. So it makes sense that only in light of being left behind by the people he valued most, does he agree to go and see Schlatt in the first place. Especially since Schlatt is the only person who has reached out first and wanted to see Quackity.
        4. Wilbur (During the Elections)
We get a flashback to the election times, where Quackity and Wilbur have a conversation. 
Quackity asks to genuinely talk with Wilbur, who initially says no, then says he'll try. Quackity says that he understands that Wilbur is trying to protect his people, trying to save his nation, and that he doesn’t hate him or want to overthrow him. He states that none of this is about fighting to him, and that he just believes there is a major difference between him and Wilbur. He states that he likes to see the good in people, and believes that there’s a side to everyone that wants to see a better future, and that’s what’s different between him and Wilbur. He retells his story of coming to L’Manberg, how he felt unwelcome, and that he’ll become president himself just to make sure no one else ever feels unwelcome. 
Wilbur responds with an interesting line, “Your aspirations of optimism are not going to be subject to my nation's security. I'm afraid.” Wilbur claims that everyone has a good side, but that side is only there to help themselves, and if you want to really help people, you're going to need power. He continues to make a speech about how one could make a movement or resistance, and they would be celebrated, but it will change nothing. During this portion of the speech, we see flashbacks of Quackity interacting with Technoblade and Dream.
Wilbur continues to say, that “if you have a revolution, everyone will hate you. You will sacrifice everything, and you will lose everything you've ever had. But you will come back and everything will be changed.” This portion of his speech is aided by flashbacks to Wilbur blowing up Manberg, with Philza in sight. Wilbur continues by saying that power is only gained through swords, steel, violence. Not diplomacy or bureaucracy. 
He continues to say that even if everyone has the good side Quackity claims they have, the only way to prove it is by showing their dark side first, presumably to gain power. He ends with another interesting line, “When I look at you, as a fellow outsider, you're not ready for that.”
There have already been a lot of fantastic takes on what this says about Wilbur’s character, so I’m not going to talk too much about that. I would, however, like to acknowledge that Wilbur was a lot more jaded than I’d noticed, even before the elections. He refers to Quackity as a ‘fellow outsider’, and it seems to me like he sees himself in Quackity, at least when he was younger and more naive. Wilbur, by this point, seems to have already had the revelation that the only way to have any influence on the server, even a positive one, is by first gaining power through violence. Quackity, as we see him now, jaded and hurt so many times, seems to finally agree with Wilbur. And so we end with him leaving a note to Wilbur, calling him a ‘dearest friend’ and saying that he won’t make the same mistake again.
I thoroughly believe that Quackity didn’t actually lose his bet with Schlatt. One reason being that if he did, there is literally nothing forcing him to make good on his word, especially to this extent. And I don’t think Quackity, as he is now, would try nearly as hard as he is to get information on revival just to save Schlatt, of all people. It seems to me that Quackity is actually trying so hard so that he can revive Wilbur. There are only a few people dead at the moment: Schlatt, Mexican Dream, and Wilbur. Quackity does not have a good relationship with Schlatt, he literally didn’t know who Mexican Dream was, and he referred to Wilbur as a ‘dearest friend’. As for why he left the note in that spot, I’m not sure. I mean, it is where Wilbur died, but I wonder if Wilbur, as a ghost, can actually receive the note? 
Additionally: In the very first cutscene of the stream, we see three figures, entirely black, riding on horses. We know that one of those figures chased down Fundy, as well, and Fundy was also warned against Quackity. When Quackity leaves the note for Wilbur, we see him, as a completely black figure, leave on his horse. So we know who one of the figures is, but I wonder who the others are? And what exactly they’re doing that they need to be disguised for? 
++ Random tidbits that I don't know what to do with!
The Red Banquet apparently only needs one more lore stream before it happens, do with this what you will.
Charlie Slimecicle apparently said he's gonna be 'doing some gambling' so. Hm.
Three months ago Techno and Philza arrived on Sam's island, where there was only the cross at the time, and said 'its foreshadowing!' sooo its safe to say they've been planning this for a while.
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xoxo-ren-xoxo · 3 years
Text
Unpopular Opinion /lh /rp
Talking about dSMP character’s heights and sort of their body types? Not in a weird way just in a ‘how I imagine them’ way. Loosely based off of their irl heights, but some of them I don’t know, so it’s mostly guesswork and vibes. Also if you disagree you’re wrong. (Just kidding leave your ideas in the tags/replies)
Obviously this is all roleplay/character stuff. None of it is intended to be weird or to reflect on the irl people! I’m just having fun with headcanons :)
Tommy is 6′3 and very very lanky. This child is not short. Stop drawing him short. He’s taller than Techno. He’s not as tall as Wilbur, but he’s tall. He towers over most people. Emphasis on most because everyone is so tall on this server what the hell? 
Anyway I think the mental image of this super tall kid actively trying to make himself look shorter/smaller is heartbreaking. Like imagine him curled up into a corner trying to make himself as unnoticable as possible in Logsted. Imagine him slouching when living with Techno to try to make himself seem like less of a ‘problem’. Imagine Dream telling him that he’s a ‘big strong man’ and that he shouldn’t need help, he can defend himself, so when he goes back to Tubbo, he tries to make himself look *tiny* as a cry for help. He wants comfort.
But he’s also incedibly skinny. Back in L’manburg and Pogtopia, he developed some muscle from all the fighting. His shoulders broadened out and he looked slightly intimidating. But like most teenage boys, he was still lanky as hell. This only got worse when he was exiled to Logstedshire, with little food (and no drive to eat the food, or get up, or exersise) he became more malnourished and he just looked *small* despite being 6′3. This probably isn’t helped by the constant use of golden apples when he moves in with Techno, which give him energy and strength but no real nutritional value. Techno was just trying to get the kid to eat normally. When he finally stands at his full height, Techno is shocked that he didn’t notice all the slouching.
Anyway Techno is 6′2. He’s taller than a lot of people but not as tall as his brothers. He makes up for this with muscle and strength and a healthy body. Wow, the only healthy person on the server. Amazing. You love to see it. Good for him. He could win in a battle of raw strength against anyone else on the server. He’s quite broad, which makes him look bigger generally.
Wilbur is 6′5 and also he is a stick. Just. Straight up and down stick. Nothing there! He is just a pale sickly stick. This gets worse the further into the timeline you go. When claiming L’manburg and fighting in the war he starts to get insomnia, causing him to look like a corpse half the time. When in Pogtopia, he’s too busy to take care of himself properly, so he only looks worse and worse. His hair is a mess, his skin is far too pale, and he only eats enough to be able to hold his own in a short fight. There’s a reason he doesn’t wear armour or really try to fight at all. He’s subconciously self-destructive, then actively so when he blows the place to the ground. He’s always been too busy for self-care.
Ghostbur is a much more healthy, younger version of Wilbur. I would say he’s ‘water rising’ era Wilbur. The life returned to his body, in a morbid kind of way. He’s still tall but he prefers to make himself seem shorter just to be less threatening.
Phil is 5′11. He has an average build, with slight muscle from the years of playing in hardcore. He’s older, now, but he can still kick your ass. Also, he taught Techno how to fight smart, not hard. He doesn’t need to be super strong because he’s intelligent enough to outwit most people on the server. He has a wordly knowledge that others don’t possess. He also has wings, large and grey, clipped so he could get onto the server (there is a no flying rule after all).
Fundy is... 5′10, just a little shorter than Phil. His fox genes make him smaller, despite his father being 6′5. He’s got a healthy, svelte build. He’s sneaky and light on his feet. In the wars he built up some muscle, but it was quickly lost since he prefers to take a backseat to any fighting outside of those times (especially now) and he’s built for spying.
Schlatt is an interesting one because a lot of people are gonna fight me on this, but he’s not actually old. Everyone calls him old but honestly I think he’s younger than Wilbur (in canon, I feel like Wilbur is in his late 30s, early 40s, simply because). I think Schlatt’s around 35-ish, but he looks older due to his shitty health. People call him an old man either to demean him or because they see his actions and appearance and go ‘yeah, this guy is old’. Which is fair enough, because irl Schlatt and c!Schlatt both act like they’re from the 1950s.
This guy looks like shit by the end, but he looks alright at the start. Slicked-back hair, sharp ram horns, golden animalistic eyes. He’s intimidating. And loud. Then everything shifts, right towards the end. He’s frail and deteriorating throughout his short presidency, and by the end of it he’s practically a corpse, just like Wilbur.
He’s 6′3, with broad shoulders and a silhouette that seems strong not only because he carries himself as if he can fight, but also because of the percieved power that comes along with it. In reality, Schlatt is a poor fighter, and the abuse he ends up putting his body through (working out excessively to try to fight his condition, and turning to alcoholism as an escape) completely destroys him, making him probably one of the least healthy and weakest people on the server. It doesn’t really show until his death scene, since he’s covered up the deterioration since day one. Basically, mans is dead. 
Glatt, or Ghost Schlatt, or whatever you want to call him, would be a healthier Schlatt. Again, from the ‘water rising’ era. I headcanon him to have longer hair in that era. Not sure why.
Ranboo is the same height as tommy, but is more naturally lithe than made that way by lack of food. His enderman DNA can be blamed for that. He’s healthy most of the time, but may have spirals where he doesn’t take good care of himself (perhaps he forgets) and he looks pretty bad. If he goes a few days without keeping up his self-care routine, he looks a lot worse than he actually is. Sleep tends to be his biggest issue, his mind keeping him awake all night and leaving him looking like shit in the morning. Really, he’s just a kid with a troubled soul, and it shows sometimes. Most days, though, he looks very well put together.
Tubbo. He’s 5′6. He’s more childlike than Tommy, which only makes it worse when he acts in the way he does in season 2. He has burn scars across one side of his body, from his execution, and he is partially blind in one eye because of it. He takes very good care of himself, since he has to look good while being president if he wants those sweet sweet approval ratings. But when he’s super stressed, he will pull all-nighters and forget to eat. He’s got a lot of issues, but his body is very normal and healthy, all things considered. 
Quackity is 5′8. Which is really funny because that’s his actual height. He’s less sharp (?) than a lot of people on the server, but he has some muscle because he’s constantly training to ‘take down Technoblade’ (in reality, it’s a habit he picked up in Schlatt’s era, and never had the heart to drop). He tries his best to stay healthy (again, to better kill Techno) and he’s careful with his life, knowing that it’s his last.
Niki is 5′5. She’s also able to kick so much ass. That is all.
Dream is a bitch and therefore I will not be discussing him. Also he’s a blob or whatever so I guess height is irrelevant. Or maybe he’s a mysterious figure with a mask. Who knows.
No one else is important enough to talk about /j (but really I’m tired so I will stop here). Put your own thoughts in the comments, tags, and rbs. This was all in good fun, so don’t get mad haha.
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Some writing practice I wrote yesterday-Dream SMP jazz, slightly lengthy with angst and indications of abuse.
The night is a good cover for him as he opens the window, looking down at the world below for a moment before deciding he has done enough bird watching, watching the lights, so hypnotic he spent too long doing it. He makes sure one more time he has everything and nobody is awake or at least aware of him before gripping to the windowsill, kicking his leg on top of the lower window while hanging off the window, kicking slightly as he slowly slides down and grabs the top of that window, putting his feet on the windowsill before jumping backwards into the garbage, getting out quickly and thanking the black bags for not making him dirty. He can’t afford to be hurt or die right now, not right now, so he has to be careful about all of this.
People in his life are pieces of shit other than Tubbo and Tommy who asked him to escape in the first place. Everything has been garbage and it’s finally enough in that moment just a few days ago. So when he made the pact with the others, he didn’t even wonder for two damn seconds. He knew his chance and took it, he had to take it. He couldn’t have Ignored his only way out just to stay in the house in the hope something might change, in hopes Schlatt may become a better president and in hopes George will take a second to protect him instead of being inactive and breaking his disillusionment that someone other than him and Tubbo have fucking morals in that place. He can’t afford that for himself or anyone else, he has to leave now, tonight, staying would be stupid.
So he silently stumbles to the place they were supposed to meet tonight. He’s going to assume he’s going to be the first person there as always, noting that he is right once he gets there and sees the horses they prepped for their journey forwards. He can think about plans for the moment he has alone, wondering about how far they have to go and obviously get jobs or blend it otherwise somewhere else. He’s certainly not sure but they’ll figure everything out, even if he is the oldest and should know what to do.
So he waits for his friends, hoping nobody will see him and question his motive for being here at the middle of the night. Why would they care? Or—he hopes nobody cares, at least he hopes Schlatt or Wilbur won’t see. Or techno, he’s terrified of techno.
“Hey Tubbo,” he speaks, sitting at the place as they wait for Tommy, thinking back to the horrors for just a moment with fearful glances around. This, this here, was why they formed the pact. They formed the truthfully useful pact out of a need to get out of a very bad situation between the three of them. Once he woke up from his awestruck state with Jschlatt, due to Tubbo getting abused actually, it horrified him beyond belief to have them fall victim when Tommy and Tubbo are, even if he will never admit, really nice kids.
Once Tommy gets to them too, he smiles, waves, and makes a spot for him with the smallest polite smile continuing to stay on his lips. This isn’t a happy night, he knows it isn’t. Tommy especially is losing his brothers for possibly forever but getting the chance at freedom, the both of the monsters in a way that you’d read comic books characters becoming.
“So, time to go, eh?” He questions, looking at the torn down walls of L’manberg (now manberg). He won’t be back for a while, he has to take it in before they leave because they can’t just stay here, Tubbo and Tommy especially with their exile. They have to be the ones to leave, ones to lose their friends and the ones to go on as a trio now. It sucks.
Not the trio part, he likes having them here (at least well enough), he’d be sad if they weren’t here, he’d have no idea where to go if that happened. He’d have no idea what to do. But it’s sad they have to leave when they’re the innocent party, not so much him and Tommy but Tubbo has practically apolitical. And when Tommy seems close to tears, he nods understandingly, grabbing his hand and taking him onto the horse with a smile before sitting himself, slowly getting more doubtful himself but not letting it show, he’s stronger than these two purely on his years of life and he can take it, he can handle being the sure one, “It’s hard, it’ll be okay, I know it’s really hard, Tom.”
He smiles back gratefully, an expression he doesn’t think he has ever seen Tommy give him, with the youngest eyes slowly blinking in a way that speaks to the sleep deprivation of a child soldier—a boy barely sixteen who’s fought one war and is escaping an another is the saddest sight he has seen, now he has two boys in the exact same boat.
Tubbo taking a sort of lead and getting his horse moving is a sign it’s time to go, jim holding both of his hands on the reigns of the horse with a deep breath from somewhere deep within him, he feels like he’s about to have a fucking panic attack. He swallows it down, hiding his panic to speak as the horses start to go towards somewhere Tubbo seems to know, Tommy close to falling asleep.
“So we’re finally getting out, eh?” He speaks as the horses start really moving, truly meaning they are no longer in danger of being spotted. He prays to god in his head, swallowing again. This is real now. This is real. They’re getting out of that hellhole, “y’all feeling alright?”
He feels Tubbo’s eyes on him, trying to seem reassuring and kind in that way Tubbo seems to always try. He does end up responding, looking him in the eye for a moment as if to reassure him back. As if to make sure he knows he’s there, as if to make sure he thinks he knows what to do before turning towards the front again. God he hates everything about this situation they have found themselves in, especially the fact these two clearly got so hurt before he even thought for a moment to take them away or at least he knows Tubbo did. He did too obviously, he was the pleading puppy of a sadist just begging he love him for a second. Yeah not the funnest or most fulfilling experience but an experience nonetheless. But hey who cares if the experience wasn’t the best, he’s gotta look out for other people now, these two, because he knows they’ll end up his new family and he’ll be the head if nobody else steps up. He’s the oldest and Tubbo was already like a younger brother.
He hushes Tommy with a smile after the boy starts breathing unevenly (a sign of panic—he’s too familiar), trying to talk him through it like he would with anyone he loved, trying to make sure he feels okay at least somewhat. Because crying is never a good sign, it could be heard and it breaks his heart to have the positive Tommy so broken—he listens to Tubbo comfort way better than he could ever, listens to how the almost seventeen years old takes the lead on emotions neither of the others can barely handle themselves. Tubbo is so prepared, as if knew he was going to be the strongest off the bat, at least when it comes to emotions (perhaps he knew—Tubbo certainly knew both of them were shit with those. He’s pretty good with emotions. It’s something he has talent for, he would always be outwardly the most happy but cry on the inside when it came to the wars, he wasn’t the angry one or one with any emotion but uplifting positivity.)
Quackity’s other hand goes to take out a compass to make sure Tubbo is leading the right way, just in case he looks to him when they’re lost so he knows what to say, looking at the said compass for a moment before speaking to Tommy, trying to keep his voice as soft and even as possible, “You should probably sleep, you look like you saw a ghost.”
He continues thinking about things a moment too long, about Schlatt mostly and everything that led up to here with this weird guilt telling him he probably was the one in the wrong before realising he now has a job to do and being so sad isn’t apart of it, continuing with a look to Tubbo, “You think we can go a less rocky route? Or a fast one, you know because Tommy looks like he really needs it”
“This should be the clearest route to the house, we’ll continue in the morning so he gets some sleep,” Tubbo speaks, running his hand over his horses mane as he continues to speak, looking at the other two with the softest smile either of them have gotten in what feels like years upon years when in truth it’s days—Tubbo is so stupidly caring and actually knows what to do when Tommy starts protesting going to sleep when Quackity knows he’d just get mad, “Quackity and I will know the stop, probably better than you do, just close your eyes okay? You’ll be okay, we’ll make sure nothing bad happens, just sleep. If we need you, we’ll wake you up. We are not Wilbur, okay? We’re not letting you sleep to be mad about it later.”
Quackity tries to keep his voice soft yet assertive, trying his best to be a good head for everyone involved in this, everyone running away with him, because he feels like he has to protect them. He’s the oldest after all. And Tubbo looking worried after Tommy goes to sleep makes him ask a simple ‘what’s wrong’
“I can’t help but to think they’ll follow us,” Tubbo expresses, shaky, the positive numbness he has for a performance faded, “And if they do what can we do?”
“Of course they won’t follow us,” he speaks, softly, knowing it’s just wishful thinking but hoping he sounds assertive enough to sell it for once at least, wondering what they’ll do when they stop. He feels like he’s going to be honestly panicked when Tommy and Tubbo sleep, he’s going to have a fucking panic attack, he’s going to cry and scream and be a fucking mess as soon as he can go and do it, he can cry and scream. He’s going to lose himself when he doesn’t have to be strong, he’ll mourn and neither of them will ever know. He glances at Tommy, biting his lip, he’s surprised how open Tommy can be with him so quickly (he’s not open but he’s not hiding everything and sitting alert either—which is what he expected) since the idea of presenting that sensitivity to a guy like Tommy he would consider his enemy if Schlatt wasn’t a bigger threat just feels wrong.
“I don’t know, Quackity, I don’t know anything honestly. I’m scared they’ll find us, I’m scared we won’t have a permanent place to stay and I’m scared they’ll kill me again. I’m scared, I don’t think I’ve been as terrified as when he shot me, I don’t want to be trapped like that ever again. I don’t want to be put into a box as a prisoner, I don’t want to die again, I don’t want to lose Tommy again. I don’t—I can’t,” Tubbo explains, so fast for a boy that normally speaks so painfully slowly, “I’m scared and I don’t want Tommy to know I’m scared, he’ll get scared too. And I don’t want to burden you either but I’m just too scared—it’s stupid to be this scared and bother you. It’s stupid to trust you this much, I’m the one who convinced Tommy to let you escape with us. It’s all so stupid and I bet you’re feeling so much worse than I.”
“Tubbo, don’t worry about me, I will be just fine. We’ll all be fine, nothing bad will happen, you won’t die like that. I’ll make sure you never have to be this scared again okay? Never again,” he speaks, looking at Tubbo the whole time and continuing to run a hand in his horses mane while he speaks before he gets a more playful expression, humour is the one thing he knows how to do,
“Now you, good sir, what do you think we should do? In your opinion?” He asks, grinning and leaning back just slightly but not enough to make Tommy’s sleep end, thinking of something amusing to say before deciding on the first thing he can think of, not necessarily good but he’s very somber, “Since we’ve both been pregnant, even though you used it as an excuse that didn’t actually mean anything and you weren’t actually pregnant, would you like to play some poker and have some wine?”
“I appreciate it,” Tubbo speaks, smiling. He knew the joke was bad, he was scrambling to find anything, but the smile at least is good, “I just—I don’t know where we’ll stay.”
“Listen to me, we can figure this out, there is a village out there that can think of hosting us for very little money and we can figure out at least odd jobs easy, probably permanent if we seek permanent residency, you’re going to be okay, we’re going to be okay,” he speaks, that’s something he actually knows about everything they’re doing. They won’t be sleeping in a trash bag, they’ll be in a shitty bed all together probably. It’s going to be okay? He can tell them, “Okay so, that much we know will be okay, it’s going to be okay Tubbo. It’s other shit you know we have to worry about. We can make stops until that village, maybe we find one on the way, we know how to hunt. We’ll be okay. Do you understand me?”
Tubbo nods, building approaching as they ride close with Quackity taking a moment just breathing in and out. He’ll keep all of them safe, he has to, he has to keep all of them safe for them, he has to make sure they’re safe because that is his responsibility, one he takes with pride and pleasure, he will make sure Tubbo is safe as they journey across. He’ll make sure Tommy is okay through the journey. He’ll do this.
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