#especially if said woman has killed primals like it's a goddamn sport

[for-bucks-sake]

It’s A Love Story.

A/N: I snapped, you guys. I just snapped. It may seem weird at first but,,please. Bear with me.

She was just mesmerizing in the moonlight. Arms wrapped around his shoulders in a gesture that would seem romantic to any stranger walking by - Two young people sharing their love in the middle of a war - he knew it was nothing but a sweet act of a friend. Something that blended so naturally in their relationship; small touches and smiles that although were meaningless, meant everything in the world.

“I don’t see what the problem is!” Wearing her short, thick heels made her reach a near eyes level with him, and staring into those baby blues wasn’t easy, for sure. “You’re about to be the last eligible man in New York. You know there’s a three and a half million of us here?”

“Well, I’d settle for just one.” Steve looked back at the woman walking beside him, her chin tilted up and a smile brighter than the lights decorating the Science fair they were headed to. She was scared. Terrified even. How on brand of her to mask her face with feign confidence just for his sake. “I can’t believe they’re takin’ you.”

“Yeah, me neither. But, you know, they’re practically taking everybody these days.”

“Not me.”

She sighed, they have had that conversation more times than she could count, “It’s because going there would be like committing fuckin’ suicide Steve. Not like, just straight up killing yourself.”

Steve inhaled, a quick answer nearly rolling off his tongue before he decided otherwise, catching a glimpse of an ill expression on her face, “let’s just...let’s just forget it, ok? It’s your last night. We should enjoy it.” - “Please tell me if she’s alive, sir. B-A-R-“

“I can spell. I have signed more of these condolence letters today than I would care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I’m sorry.” 

It was as if his heart sank down to his feet, his throat suddenly drier than the driest desert, and everything seemed so, so wrong. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to her. Not right now.  - An awfully suspicious man hurried down the hall, only stopping when he saw Steve. His gaze was disturbing, blood freezing. Watching intensely at him not with defiance, not even fear, but admiration. 

The small man glanced at the room he just left, ultimately deciding to escape when he saw Steve sprinting towards him. He could easily catch up, of course. But Steve heard something, it was small and uncertain, but it was something. And if that man decided that this room was worth coming back to in the middle of a riot - he should at least check it out.

Ignoring what could have been an easy catch of a man that probably would’ve been a great source of information to everyone back at the base, he then chose to follow the voice. He wasn’t there to take prisoners, after all. He only did this to find-

“Bucky?  Oh my god.” And just like that, he could breathe again, and if she wasn’t restrained to that bed like an animal, looking like she had seen a ghost, he would’ve kissed her right there and then.

“Is that…”

“It’s me, it’s Steve.” She looked like she was dreaming, staring into the abyss like she saw right through him.

“Steve?”

“Come one.”

“Steve.”

She got up, still deeply fazed, but it was really Steve there. He grabbed her face for a moment, holding it between his large hands but immediately letting go. He wanted to tell her how he felt, but it couldn’t be now.

“I thought you were dead.” He said instead, bringing his palms to caress her shoulder and  hoist her up from the table when a large bomb exploded too close to them.

“I thought you were smaller.” - The bar was dusty. Small particles of nothing were carried lazily by the air, and her first thought was that she felt just like them, moving around without real purpose, not even flying because she lacks the ability to navigate. The air is just too powerful.

Her second thought was that she was being too philosophical for this time and place, and that this joint desperately needed to be cleaned. Of both dirt and men. If she sees another hungry gaze scanning her top to bottom she might start a goddamn brawl.

Steve appeared around the corner, sporting a wide grin that dazzled her even under the unflattering light. She still had trouble recognizing him in that new look; so being used to search for the smallest man in the room, she often missed the biggest one. At least his smile stayed exactly the same, dare she even say it gotten bigger. And that smile could only mean one thing.

“See, I told you. They’re all idiots.”

“How about you?” Steve sat next to her, arms crossed on the wooden counter, “you ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?”

“Hell no.” She pursed her lips and smirked, doing anything to avoid Steve’s eyes, “that little guy from Brooklyn, who was too dumb to run away from a fight.” She swallowed and finally looked up, a smile less wide but more genuine, “I’m following him.”

Steve was held captivated by the fading blue inside her eyes, the tortured expression heaving on his chest when he realized that for once in her life, she couldn’t pretend to be okay for him. He glanced down instantly, the corner of his mouth twisting up as he sighed, fully regretting his request.

She nudged his shoulder, reading his face all too well and letting him know it was okay with the only way she knew, “but you’re keepin’ the outfit, right?” - “Hang on! Grab my hand!”

The wind screamed in his ears, gravity nearly wins and the taunting of the rapid air shots drove him out of his mind. You’re not gonna make it. It said. You’re not gonna make it and she’s going to die, because of you.

He shouted to Bucky one last time, tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as the metal rod she held so dearly suddenly began to give in to the pressure. Steve forced himself to move closer, nearly losing grip himself as he reached down as far as he could when one end of the shaft tore off from the train, surrendering to the power of the wind. The other end creaked one more time, and then she was too far from him, hanging violently by a thread that failed her miserably.

Steve had no choice but to watch his best friend’s face twist in fear as she fell down to the clear mountains, her hand still reaching for him.

Everything around him turned into white noise except the small figure that seemed so foreign over the spotless background. She almost looked like she was flying.

It wasn’t until Steve lost sight of her that he realized his grasp is so loose he’s nearly falling himself. - Since the moment a metal hand smashed their window and kidnapped their hostage from a moving car, everything started going south. Well, even souther than it was to begin with. 

And now, Steve was caught in one of the most intense, demanding fights he has ever fought while being shot at by multiple people he once considered colleagues. Natasha was injured, he didn’t know how bad it was and he couldn’t afford checking on her.

And that man, that man he fought was incredibly strong, and more importantly, he used Steve’s strength against him. Flipping him over like he was nothing and snatching his shield from his hands, blocking every single punch Steve threw at him. He had never seen anything like it.

Just when he managed to gain the upper hand, to get his shield back and block that god-awful arm that gave that, thing, too much advantage, he tore his mask off. Her, mask off.

Bucky rolled on the hard asphalt but didn’t hesitate for a second to get up again, turning around with her face exposed. She looked at Steve with eyes that were lacking any expression. Flat and empty with no hint of recognition. Almost like the day he found her in that Nazi facility. 

Everything stopped again. Like it happened every time he saw Bucky; his surroundings quieted down and the only noise he could possibly hear was the loud ringing in his ears. Only there and then Steve realized how desperately he missed her.

“Bucky?”

“Who the hell is Bucky?” - She was wearing a black dress. Looking beautiful than ever with her hair neat on her shoulders. Light years from how she looked today. He supposed it didn’t matter, because it was still her, he was certain.

Today he fought the same Bucky that told him she’s with him till the end of the line. That saved him when he was completely alone. That made it very clear she was his family. That was the Bucky he knew, not the one that tried to kill him. Even being encircled by collapsing chunks of metal burning with fire and three bullets in him he didn’t fail to remember that.

“I’m not gonna fight you. You’re my friend.”

“You’re my mission.”

“Then finish it. Cause I’m with you till the end of the line.” 

Something clicked inside Bucky’s mind. Maybe it was the glimpses of a forgotten key hidden under a brick or just the bruised face that in another life, she spent hours fixing with impromptu bandages and boiled water. 

Whatever it was, something primal and raw screamed frantically at her to stop what she’s doing. Because what she was doing was, for some reason, very, very wrong. - Steve’s heart squeezed inside his chest as he entered the small space he could barely call an apartment. 

Bucky didn’t have much. A few improvised shelves made of wood and bricks piled on each other and a mattress that simply laid on the floor, one single pillow on top of it. He scrunched his nose disapprovingly, no one deserved to live that way. Especially not her. 

Steve scanned the place again and stepped forward, a book with a hard, black cover caught his eye, similar to the ones he saw on the stand to his right. He moved it gently, letting the chocolate bars on top of it slide down as he opened it at the last marked page.

The notebook was well kept, but clearly very used. Steve could tell it was read many time before, the pages worn and overcrowded with words and side notes and pictures. Most of them his own. 

He realized he stared too long into his own eyes when he felt a presence behind him, Steve decided to turn around as he considered it a good sign he wasn’t dead by now.

“Do you know me?”

“You’re Steve.” Her hair was longer now, and the black cap did nothing to mask her piercing eyes. Under all that, she was still herself, “I read about you in a museum.”

Steve nearly huffed and set the notebook to his side, letting her know he read it, “I know you’re nervous, and you have plenty of reason to be. But you’re lying.”

She was stiff, uncomfortable in her own skin, almost afraid to speak the next words out loud, “I wasn’t in Vienna. I don’t do that anymore.”

“Well, the people who think you did are coming here now. And they’re not planing on taking you alive.”

“That’s smart.” She said, eyes burning up as she pushed down tears, “good strategy.”

“This doesn’t have to end in a fight, Buck.”

The both of them could clearly hear the footsteps approaching behind the door. Mean sounds on innocent floor that were getting closer and closer by the second. The only sound she could focus on was the way her long lost nickname fell from Steve lips so naturally. 

“It always ends in a fight.” Bucky sighed, looking physically pained to say that.

“You pulled me from the river. Why?” Because I know you.  Because I remember you. Because you’re Steve. Because…I love you.

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.” - She looked so soft in a white tank. It was the simplest thing, but Steve nearly hugged her one more time before she was gone again.  It was time for him to pretend to be okay for the sake of her, since she so obviously wasn’t.

Her arm was gone, she could barely bring herself to smile, and Steve hated everything about it.

He wanted her to stay with him, to let him take all her bad thoughts away, to kiss that freckle on her collarbone that he noticed the day he met her. But, for years Bucky was stripped from any right she had on her life. Now she was finally able to make a decision that is good for her. 

Steve couldn’t possibly take it away. - “Steve…”

He thought he’d be numb to this by now. How silly of him.

Losing Bucky hurt like the first time, it came crushing down his chest like an airplane, heavy weight physically grounding him to the dirt and taking away his precious ability to breathe. She was lost, again, and he had no choice but to helplessly watch her, again.

They’ve lost each other countless times by now, yet somehow, the world brought them together. And Steve managed to waste every single opportunity he was given. Every single one. That’s the only thing he could think about, sitting on the dirty ground and clutching what used to be the love of his life.

The dust floated away from his fingers as his mind replayed the sight of her falling to her knees and disintegrating away quicker than he could register. The way she muttered his name just before disappearing will hunt him for a long time. - She was standing next to Sam, gesturing him to move forward into a future she knew he deserved.

Steve handed him a brand new shield, and Bucky nodded when Sam looked back, searching for reassurance and validation all at once.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Well,” Steve beamed, stepping down from the machine and onto the ground, ”after I put the Stones back, I thought...maybe I'll try some of that life that Tony was telling me to get.” He glanced at Bucky, smiling shyly and looking down again.

Sam glanced back one more time, confirming what he always knew when he saw the red blush coloring Bucky’s cheeks. He smirked, nodding at the both of them.

“Thank you. I’ll do my best.”

“That’s why it’s yours.”

Steve once swore that if the world would be kind enough to give them another chance, he will not waste it. So, even though it was a love story that’s been spread through decades. Steve didn’t have the patience to wait a single second more. “I love you.” He said, grabbing her by the waist and burying his head in the crook of her neck.

His breath was warm on her skin as she squeezed him closer to her chest. Her eyes nearly reaching eyes level with him.

“I love you, too.”

----

A/N: I’m merely trying to prove a point here. If you think what you’ve seen on screen is not the same thing you just read, then, you’re in for a surprise buddy.  What would happen if Bucky was a girl, a woman. Would that validate their relationship more? For some people I think that’s the case. 

They could’ve had the most powerful love story in all history. What a shame they’re both men and Marvel already has Gay Joe Russo to fill that square.

#Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #bucky x steve #steve x bucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes #captain america #the winter soldier #avengers endgame #steve rogers x reader