#episode two of the loki series fucking SLAPS

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (04x01)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 4 Episode 01: The Unexpected

SEASON Premiere

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: weird happenings

Word Count: I apparently suffered from Dengue and was in recovery when I was told to complete my mandatory holidays. And the thought of holidays made me want to write some. So here we are...thanks to a fucking mosquito I guess.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

A camera moved about the lounge to show an addition of big plants in all the corners, clearly adding a splash of green to the enormous room. The clock on the kitchenette wall read nine in the morning. A very zen Scott was seen making omelette and ham toast in the pan, going generous on the cheese slices in the middle.  A tune was stuck on his lips while he moved about the space quite smoothly. "Oooh! I smell something...not burnt!" Sam entered the lounge clearly after his workout.  His hands were about to dig into one prepared french toast when Scott slid that plate aside for him to present his guest with a bowl of fruits, nuts with a side of yoghurt.  Wanda entered the lounge from the dorms, greeting Sam and Scott.  "Oh! It's Scott's day to make breakfast! I love Scott days!" "Who doesn't?" Scott flipped her imaginary hair out of his face and proceeded to give his favourite witch a tall glass of berry smoothy along with pancakes. 

Sam: This is the best feeling in the world. My bowl full of the juiciest fruits, the thickest yoghurt I can ask for, and the best sound in the world. *camera zooms in on his face* silence. 

The smartwatch on Scott's wrist chimed. "Oh! it's nine-fifteen. Little bear is up and ready to go." And just as he announced those words, you came out of your room in your straight jeans, a blue tank top covered with a blue jacket. Your bag was barely hanging on one shoulder as you jogged your way towards the kitchenette.  "Good morning!" you greeted as you skidded to a halt at the kitchen island, right as Scott pushed your french toast and freshly squeezed orange juice in front of you. "Oh! It's Scott Day!" Taking your first bite of the toast, you hummed a tone of satisfaction at the crunch and melting cheese inside.  "Don't forget your lunch, bear. I made some rice balls and potato cutlets." "You're the best, grandma!" you gave Scott a thumbs up. Scott planted a peck on your forehead and put the lunch box in your bag. "I've put in extra for America as well." Steve and Bucky entered the space all hot and flushed after their workout, greeting you.  Scott was already bringing out their post-workout protein mix from the mixer into two tall glasses as they wiped off their sweat with towels.  Murmurs of "I love Scott days," went around again. "Did you sleep well last night?" Steve asked you.  The cameras around the lounge captured the morning murmurs dying down a little as Wanda eyed Steve and everyone cautiously looked at you for something out of the ordinary. You nodded and shrugged. "I guess so, yeah."  All the tensed shoulders loosened themselves while Bucky lightly slapped Steve on the back of his head before giving him the gaze. "Although-" all the loosened shoulders tensed back up, waiting for you to finish chewing and complete the sentence -"I think I had a weird dream last night. Wanda was sitting at the edge of my bed trying to catch something in the air. And there was a weird dog sitting by my side. Weird, no?" Everyone hummed in agreement with the same air of nonchalant all at once. "I heard someone's finally taking their car to college?" Scott broke the awkward atmosphere. He picked up the car keys to the Toyota RAV4 and dangled it excitedly in front of you. The camera caught the excitement bubbling on your face as you did your own little dance. 

You: I finally learned how to drive! And I am really excited to take my new car out to college! *jump with elation in your seat* *finally settle and sigh* Though I am surprised dad didn't make me drive his Audi to college. The one that I have scratched beyond recognition while learning to parallel park. *nervous laughter*

"Do you want me to take it out of the garage for you?" Sam called from behind you. "No, I learned the hard parts last week. See ya guys!" The elevator dinged to announce your departure to the ground floor. It was also the signal for every breathing person in the lounge to give Steve Rogers the cold stare. "Are you out of your f****ng mind?" Scott gritted through his teeth while Sam raised his hands in the air. "I'm sorry-" Steve breathed out in defeat- "it was a usual question. It just came out of me!" "That usual question almost cost us a night, Steve." Wanda groaned. "We really need to get it together before the dads come home."

Wanda: *takes in a deep breath* It's been three weeks since y/n, Loki and Javier returned from their 'universal travels'. They had been tested for foreign matters and diseases but everything was fine. *nods before gulping* *whispers* till the third night of their return.

The camera cuts to a feed of the lounge at two fifteen at night. Scott and Peter are sleeping on the sofa while watching the reruns of Lulu. A figure- almost eerie- walks from the dorms towards the lounge and comes to a halt right where the boys sleep. The figure is dressed in a familiar grey tee and black shorts and has dark vapours emanating from around them. The figure bends towards the boys a little before letting out a blood-curdling scream that resonates through three dimensions at once. Scott is the first to wake up and scream back at the figure, throwing his custom-made Lulu fluffy toy at the shadow before running towards the kitchenette, grabbing a jug of water to splash the contents on the haunting presence. Scott catches his breath within the pause he takes to look closely at the figure that has not moved. "Y/N? Is that you?" His voice crackles through the recording. In response, the dark figure raises her hands to see the water drip from her head to toe, leading to another blood-curdling scream. Within seconds, Wanda was teleporting out of her room while Bucky was trying to hold you back from gnawing at Scott's skin. And Peter is drooling in his sleep throughout the scenario.

Wanda: Turns out she did contract something in space. It was a night walk terror. And she does not seem to remember about it. Tony and Bruce don't know about it. *clears throat* mostly because they are out at a conference. And Clint is on vacation with his family. So Loki and I have been trying to figure out a way to get that interdimensional being out of her before the adults come home. *nods* *pouts*  *shrugs* on the other hand...

cuts to the Avengers facility feed showing trespassers trying to find their way through the facility doors and halls only to be spooked to the point of heart attack by your figure appearing out of nowhere in the dark.

University Grounds "All I'm saying, Javier, is it's weird that no matter how much I sleep I just cannot seem to get enough of it." The camera focused on you getting out of the car. Javier let his device take in the beautiful red colour of the SUV before focusing on the big yawn breaking on your face.

Javier signed something from behind the camera while you tried to take out your bag and laptop from the backseat. “Oh. I’ve got a lecture on social psychology today followed by this one session on neuropsychology my professor has allowed me to come observe. So, we should be done in four hours." The camera caught your genuine smile right before a familiar voice called out your name and made your smile crumble within seconds. "What classes do you have today, Y/N," the very punchable face of David, the assistant professor came and gave a wink to the camera recording you.  "None of yours, David," you declared in a monotone before walking towards the campus building, taking Javier with you by his arm.

You: you guys remember David *tired expression* the bane of my existence *groan* the reason I sometimes loathe coming to school  This dude has either developed a weird obsession with my presence on campus or he just knows how annoying he can be when he breathes in my direction *camera pans out to zoom in on David in the background walking towards you* 

David: Hey Y/N’s sponsor weirdo *waves at the camera before putting his arm around your shoulders* She has had enough days for spring break. It’s time for her to take her studies seriously now. Don’t worry *finger guns* she’s in good hands here. I’ll make sure she passes all her subjects. *walks away but not before patting you on the back*

You: *simmering* *camera pans in on your deadly expression* I would rather *camera zooms further* eat coal. 

  The Lounge The camera took in the ‘Kiss the chef’ apron before Scott removed it and carefully folded it to be kept aside. “Oh! Here comes the big bear!” The camera swerved around to capture Loki walking into the room from the dorms.  His hair was a mess, his eyes had bags underneath them and his face seemed like he had not shaved in a day. There was a scruffy beard growing on his face that he apparently had no botheration scratching. Taking a seat by the kitchen island, the God gulped down a 2-litre bottle of water within ten seconds. The toaster dinged and Scott brought the freshly toasted bread along with jam and clotted cheese towards Loki.  “Any leads on Y/N’s po-“ Sam was cut short by Scott’s hand signalling him to stop as the two Avengers watched Loki inhale the toast within a single breath before gulping down on the fresh orange juice from the familiar Brooklyn Nine-Nine mug.  Scott shared a look with the camera while Loki wiped his hand with a kitchen towel and turned to Sam.  “You said something?” “He said you should take a shower and maybe shave,” Scott blurted out before Sam could get a word in. “No-“ Loki shook his head- “it was something about Y/N.”  Scott closed his eyes and sighed. Sam shrugged and looked at the camera.

Scott: *sits and stares at Sam with daggers in his eyes* Sam: *exasperated* how is it my fault if the man prioritises a girl over his hygiene?! Scott: *muted gasp* Okay, first of all, he is alive in this facility because he prioritised that girl over his hygiene for what felt like a year and *whips his index finger out into Sam's face* Secondly, you better learn about that kinda priority if you don't want to die single.  Sam: *grinds his teeth* *stares at the camera* I got rejected by a Tinder date one time Scott. ONE TIME!!!

"Loki, how about you go shave first," Scott patted him on the back and signalled him to return to the dorms for his own well-being. "Where's Y/N?" Scott shared an 'I told you so' emotion with Sam. The latter shrugged aggressively, still not believing it to be his fault. "She's gone to college," Wanda finally answered. She was sitting on the sofa with her cell phone in her hand. "I just texted Javier. She's attending her Social Psychology lecture right now." Loki nodded. "Keep me posted." He got up and went to the dorms. "Use my aftershave if you want," Sam yelled behind him before turning to the camera, "it's got a nice odour." "Why are you texting Javi?" Scott came out from behind the kitchen counter and did a few stretches. "Can't you read Y/N's brain signals or something?" Wanda raised her good brow at Scott. "Well, excuse me for trying to live a cell phone life!" Scott nodded slowly before narrowing his eyes at the strongest witch on this planet. "Riiiiiiiight." He stared at Wanda for a few more moments, making the witch shift where she sat. "Her brain's a mess, isn't it?" he finally added, earning a groan from her. "It keeps on going non-stop!" The camera recorded the weariness along with the fear reflecting in Wanda's eyes. "It just doesn't shut up!" With a sigh and a few soft pats on Wanda's head, Scott went back to the kitchenette. "Let me make you some tea."

  University Campus "For a moment I thought I would not see you again." You and the camera both turned around at the voice. Your face gave a genuine smile for the first time since landing on the campus.  "Yusuf! How are you?!" You gave Yusuf a hug while the six-foot-tall man patted your head and reciprocated that smile. "I had to...I was-I had to go on an unplanned emergency trip...abroad-" you shared a look with the camera before going back to Yusuf.  "Everything okay?" "Oh, yes. Just that a family member was in desperate need of some help." You almost bit your lip at the sentence. "How's your thesis coming along?" Yusuf's eyes lit up like fireworks. "Oh, Y/N. It is coming out freaking amazing and it is all thanks to you and your friend." Your brows crinkled but your smile didn't falter just yet. "My friend?" "Yes. Your friend, Scott Longinus, was a huge help. He shared some older theses with me and some fresh papers that were never published here in the States. I am almost on the verge of finishing the first phase and then diving into the editing part." You nodded. "Scott Longinus," you muttered to yourself, staring at an invisible void for a few seconds before a smile crept on your lips. Wrapping your arm around Yusuf's you started walking towards the observation wing of the neurology lab. "Yusuf, darling, tell me more about what all Scott Longinus has discussed with you and spare no details."

  The Facility's Library The camera sat by a table next to Wanda, Loki and Steve. The walls could be seen lit up with Friday's scans as she tried her bit to help the Avengers with whatever information they needed. "Did Strange call?" Loki hummed out of nowhere. The camera panned on his grim expression, his eyes stuck on the old pages in front of him while his right hand glimmered in rays of green and golden, his thumb, index and the second finger leading some magical scans of their own. "Hm?" Wanda broke out from a trance but did not look up. "He is on call-" she pointed half-dazed at the phone sitting in the middle of the table- "still searching his library at Kamar Taj." Sam entered, sucking on a lollipop while moving through the pages of a relatively lighter book in his hands. A questioning hum reverberated through his throat before the lollipop came out of his mouth. "Are we sure we are looking at the right angle?" "What do you mean?" both the God and the Witch asked, without looking up from the pages in front of them. "We are working through these on the lines that Y/N is being possessed by a multi-dimensional being who is using her to hop through dimensions and hence to enter the earth. Using her like a portal of sorts. But what if she is the one instigating these jumps?" Steve turned to the magic users next to him, who finally glanced up from their books and then shared a look with each other. "What did Scott feed him today?" Loki whispered to Steve, who genuinely tried to remember what was on Sam's breakfast menu. "Some goddamn edible food," Sam announced, looking up at the camera.

Sam: Ever since this Y/N possession incident, we have been avoiding calling the cooking and cleaning staff to the facility to prevent the word from getting out. So we have been taking turns making meals and doing the laundry. So, take my word when I tell you the day Scott cooks, I'm gonna eat like a fucking horse. *nods aggressively* because he is the only one who makes anything close to edible food in this place. *another voice comes from outside the camera* But you told me you loved my clam chowder Sam: *shrieks and jumps in his seat* *camera pans out to show Natasha standing by the door with a judgmental look* Sam: *clears his throat* *adjusts himself in his seat* The chowder was amazing! *looks at the camera and then back at the Black Widow* And even Scott can't make anything so delicious *laughs weakly*

Natasha: The chowder sucked. These peeps were either running to the toilet with the chowder bowls or running to the toilet to *smirks* release the bowls *giggles while showing her teeth* I just wanted to watch them squirm *camera zooms in on her face* and never ask me to make meals for them...ever again.

"So, you are saying that Y/N is...jumping to some other plane of existence and wherever she is jumping, whoever is out there is..." "Scared, probably?" Sam shrugged. "That would explain why whatever possessed her did not attack Scott," Wanda added, earning a nod from Loki. "Oh, God-" Wanda rubbed her face at the onset of certain realisation, "she's sleep-jumping. Whenever she falls asleep, her conscious guards are down. So her subconscious is repeatedly jumping to the one plane where some corner of her mind is stuck." "Alright so-" Steve kept his hands on the table- "it's not dangerous to her, right?" Loki and Wanda shared a look with each other. The latter cursed under her breath. "Hey, Friday-" Wanda called out to the room, making the walls light up- "can you show us how long Y/N has been plane-jumping from the very first time, till now?" Friday chimed, bringing up a hologram of a graph and the number of minutes to hours you had been spending in your trance travel. "Here are the results, Miss Wanda. Y/N's sleep jumping time has been increasing exponentially and the last two jumps have recorded erratic brain activity as per the readings I have taken." "How erratic?" Steve asked, zooming in on the rhythm readings Friday presented beside the graph. "There were three points in the last two incidents where there were blank readings. The first one lasted for three seconds and twenty-nine milliseconds. The latest one lasted for ten seconds and forty-six milliseconds." The camera was already recording Loki jumping from his seat to run for his phone attached to the charging platform by the nearest wall. His seat hit the floor just as he fast dialed someone on his phone. "What does she mean blank-" Wanda was already answering Sam's question. "She is disappearing." The ringing from the video call reverberated through the library while Wanda disconnected her call to Strange and dialled Wong instead. "Javi, where is Y/N right now." Loki was on the verge of heaving. The camera did not miss the veins popping in the God's neck. "Wong, I need you to bring Strange to Y/N's university. I'll explain everything just reach there right now." Wanda cut the phone and walked over to Loki. Javi signed something on the phone before directing his phone towards a figure sitting a few seats away from him, asleep.

  Observation Room, Neuropsychology Lab The room was barely lit, which the larger source of light coming from the MRI machine below in the lab. Yusuf took down notes on his laptop till the researcher in charge left the lab to bring their professor to analyse the readings from the current test subject. "Well, I am glad it's AP Anita overseeing the study with Professor Sherry. But then again, I do not expect David to understand the ABCs of this research somehow."  Yusuf looked in the seat next to him for an answer but found you nodding off. Your mouth agape, snoring while your head tried to balance itself on the head of the very uncomfortable seats. "Woah," he whispered, almost stifling a laugh, "and here I thought you could not surprise me after the whole 'dog ate my homework' stunt last week." Yusuf proceeded to take a lone notebook out of his bag before folding it and moving at the back to carefully put it between your head and the seat for support. But just as he touched your head to move it a little bit forward, Javier's camera caught a blue glow emanating from your body. So did Yusuf. "Y/N?" The glow got intense. And to add to the saplings of horror for the college friend, your hair started floating on its own right when your eyes shot open with the same cold blue glow illuminating your iris in the most rotten of hues. "Y/N! What the-" Before the lad could say anything, a strong gust of wind knocked down the photographs on the wall as the camera captured Loki and Wanda entering the room.  "Yusuf," the God declared with his natural air of authority, "might I ask you to please step away from the lady." Yusuf was already moving into the wall nearest to him when he was startled by a string of fireworks cutting a hole through the wall to let Strange and Wong in. "That's Dr Strange! A-and you're the Scarlet Witch!" the boy was near to choking on his own bewilderment. Loki looked at the camera with a hint of disdain. "So much for helping out with his thesis," he muttered as he made his way to your figure, which had got up and started floating by now.

Wanda and Wong killed the lights to the observation room before teleporting the entire room to the open grounds of Kamar Taj. Wong was already directing a brutally lost Yusuf to take cover behind him. Wanda and Strange were marking off the boundaries to keep the damage as minimal as possible while Loki stood at the dead centre with your floating figure letting out a low growl that reverberated through the barriers of the magic walls. "Wanda," Loki called out for the witch, never taking his eyes off you, "can you hold her down till I do what needs to be done?" Strange took over from Wanda with the barrier creation. "Do you know where she's been jumping to?' Javier's camera caught the God pressing his lips and clenching his jaw. There was a blink-and-you-miss eye contact between Loki and Javier before the God answered. "I think I might have an idea." Javier was already moving behind Wong, but his camera was stuck on you and Loki, who worked as a distraction for your spine-chilling scream for Wanda to grab from behind and lock your arms in. Within seconds, Loki's fingers were moving on your head, settling on the major points. A golden light was exuding from those very points in seconds, turning those screams into cries for help and your cold blue irises into burning circles of fiery gold.  "OH F***!! WHAT THE F*** IS HAPPENING!!!" Yusuf was screaming for his life from behind Wong as Javier tried to record the seven stages of horror on his face.  Even when your own cries died down and you practically slumped in Wanda's arms, Yusuf's cries for help echoed singularly through the grounds till the young man realised it and abruptly stopped, wiping his tears and clearing his throat. By now, everyone was staring at him. The deafening silence wanted to make the man curl had it not been for Wong patting him on the back. "It's okay. It's okay. It's your first time," Wong sang, not really comforting the poor lad much.

  The Facility, Evening Hours The Lounge was softly lit as almost everyone was gathered together. Scott was deciding which movie to put when the elevator dinged and Peter and Pietro walked out while in the middle of some serious discussion. Pietro immediately called out for his sister in their mother tongue, asking about you. As if to answer his question, you walked out of the dorms with a towel of your washed hair and a weak wave of your hands. "Hey, guys!" "How are you feeling?" Wanda asked for everyone in the room. One camera did catch Loki sitting by the further end of the kitchenette, pouring himself a good shot of whiskey before handing the bottle to Sam. "I'm sorry, guys. I didn't realise what was happening to me. I must have been such a pain in the ass." Everyone pshaw-ed and waved their hands to show their support for you. You hugged Wanda and Natasha tight. "You have Loki to thank for saving your life," Scott was quick to add, "and our lives, of course. He apparently figured everything out just in time because Tony is landing tomorrow." You looked in Loki's direction, who swivelled in his seat to raise his glass in your direction. "Cool. Thanks, man," you stated, slowly earning confused looks from your family around you. Scott chuckled. "Thanks, man? I was half expecting you to run towards Loki and shout 'my saviour' before hugging him tight so I could half expect to have Clint walk out the elevator at that very moment." Natasha chortled at the thought and gave Scott a pat on his back. You walked over to the kitchen island and sat beside Loki. "Sorry for the trouble." Loki scoffed. "Please, woman. This was nothing compared to our space adventure." And he rose over the island to bring out a bottle of the Jagermeister, pouring a shot and presenting it to you. "I am scared someday you'll run out of patience for me." You clinked your glass to his, shared a knowing look with Javier's camera and gulped that shot in seconds. Loki laughed. "Oh, we'll see runs out of patience first." At the other end of the room, Strange eyed Loki quite closely while slowly sipping on his Old Fashion.

Strange: Loki still hasn't told me what Y/N was tethered to. *narrows his eyes to look at some invisible void in the distance* It's almost as if he does want to tell me. *looks back at the camera with the same level of suspicion*

Later That Night Scott is closing the curtains to the recording/interview room when he hears the sound of your soft laughter from the lounge. The camera person with him moves to the door to watch you greeting Loki goodnight as the God is the first to leave the lounge. The camera turns to Scott to signal him to come over. Gathering the hidden packets of snacks in his hands, he tip-toes to the door to watch you sit there and watch Loki disappear into the dorms. Javier sits opposite you on the kitchen island, shaking his head but still recording your expression turning from wistful longing to frustration as your face hangs in between your hands and lets out a groan. "Of all the people in this wide-ass universe," you grumble in a whisper to your confidant, "and I had to fall for him." The looming silence breaks with all the snacks falling down from Scott's limp arms, the camera recording the horror on your and Javier's face before curses fly out of your mouth.

#loki #loki x reader #loki series #loki fluff #loki x female reader #loki smut #It's The Avengers #the office au #loki x y/n #loki the office au #marvel #marvel fluff #marvel fic #loki fic

[squishier-than-thou]

YOOO

#nicholas complains #episode two of the loki series fucking SLAPS #lady loki my beloved #also also #GSJDGSJS #god i'm such a simp for loki jesus fucking christ #i haven't been this excited about anything since good omens in the summer of 2019 #so guess every two years i shall find a series that gives me The Serotonin™ #ohrightohright prodigal son was a thing last year (and this year but hh) #but i wasn't super into that #but anyway #the loki series is great #everyone should watch it #thanks for coming to my ted talk

[falcqns]

Heeey, darling! It's been a while since I requested anything. Well, I was thinking about being Tom Hiddleston's ex-girlfriend but Henry's current one and he became jealous because he saw his girlfriend watching the Loki series and texting him how amazing the show is. Lots of love, B ❤

𝕷𝖔𝖐𝖎

☼ 𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: Henry Cavill x actress!Reader

☼ 𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔨𝔫𝔤𝔰: fluff, insinuations to sub!Henry.

☼ 𝔞/𝔫: GIRL I'VE MISSED YOU AND YOUR REQUEST SO MUCH HADHFJDJFHAKJDKAS!!! this one got me really excited bc ive been on a Tom Hiddleston binge lately and i am in love with him, but still very much in love with henry so im so friggen excited for you to read this lovely i did change it slightly, i hope that's okay!! thank you for the request, and i hope you enjoy!

"please sign this to verify this is everything you've ever said."

you giggled, your eyes locked on the TV. you were watching the first episode of Loki, hours after it came out.

you'd always loved Loki, despite what happened between you and Tom. you two had dated for a few years, but towards the end, he was away filming Thor Ragnarok, and you were filming Justice League, on opposite ends of the world, and it took a toll on your relationship. you two had a lengthy conversation, and it ultimately ended in you two breaking up.

Henry walked into the living room with your coffee's in his hand. he tried not to roll his eyes at the character on the screen aggressively signing his name, and plopped down next to you, as you were texting someone.

"who're you texting?" he asked, handing you your coffee. you smiled, and inhaled the nutty scent of your coffee as you finished composing the text and sent it off.

"Tom. I'm just telling him how much i'm liking the show, and congratulations on its success."

Henry sighed deeply. he knew the two of you were friends, but he didn't like to be reminded of it every two minutes.

"everything okay?" you asked, and Henry nodded his head, his eyes glaring at Loki.

"perfect." you rolled your eyes and dropped your phone onto the couch, before turning to look at your husband.

"are you seriously jealous that i'm texting an ex?" you asked in disbelief, and he shrugged his shoulders.

"you don't see me texting my exes."

you punched your brows. was he being serious??

"what do you call texting Lucy?"

"that's different."

"how so?"

"i don't know, but it's the same." he said, trying to change the subject.

you slapped his arm. "stop quoting Joey Tribbiani. i don't know why your jealous when i literally married your bratty ass." you said turning back to the tv.

Henry sighed, and wrapped his arms around you. "sorry love. i can't help it. i can't deny that he's attractive, and it makes me insecure."

"you don't have to be insecure. you're Geralt of fucking Rivia."

"sorry for being a brat," he admitted, and you smiled.

"it's okay. but next time you act like that, you're getting a spanking."

#henry cavill x reader smut #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill angst #henry cavill x you #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill x reader fluff #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill smut #henry cavill #tom hiddleston #loki #my fav person ever requested and im so friggen happy ive missed her sm!!

[hard-boiled-criminal]

Venus Ambassador - 1

Loki x gender neutral reader

Loki tv spoilers

Prologue

You could feel your frustration build as you read through a court hearing where the judge and the defendant just kept going in circles, repeating themselves over and over and you were sick of it.

With a groan, you tossed it back on to the desk and leaned back in your chair, massaging your temples to try and soothe your growing headache.

‘I wasn’t made for all this legal shit,’ you thought, frustrated and annoyed. ‘Couldn’t they have, I don’t know, spiced it up a bit for me at least? All I’m asking for is maybe some more information on these different worlds and species. It’d be good to know what the heck a Daijiq is, not about how “x did this and altered the timeline so we gotta dust ‘em” and all that boring bullshit. They’re just having me read the court transcripts and write documents about how my dimension works. Not to mention making me watch that Hanna-Barbera-esque cartoon and then quizzing me on it.’

With another groan of mental pain you slouched back forward.

“You know what? Maybe I just need a (tea/coffee) break. Yeah, that sounds nice.”

You stand up from your chair and stretch, groaning as your bones and muscles protest at moving after being idle for so long. Thankfully, you were able to easily convince the TVA to provide you with a (tea/coffee) maker, which now sat and a small table in the corner of the room. You purposely placed it in the corner furthest away from your desk so that you’d be forced to get up and stretch your legs every so often, lest your muscles waste away into nothingness.

As your beverage was brewing, two knocks rapped at your office door. Before you could respond, they let themselves in. They held up a manilla folder and gave you a nod.

“New variant case.”

“Thanks.”

They placed the folder on your desk and promptly left. It seems neither you nor the TVA were still quite used to each other’s presence, despite you being here for a month already. You couldn’t really blame them. Afterall, your dimension’s inner workings completely went against their own and their ideals.

With a sigh, ‘more paperwork. Great,’ you head back to your desk with your piping hot drink. Not wanting to pick up that dreadfully boring court transcript you were reading, you decided you might as well take a look at the new file.

You take a sip of your drink as you open the file and gasp, accidentally letting in too much of the almost-boiling drink. You immediately start coughing and sputtering, and your tongue is definitely burned. After your coughing fit subsides, you rub your eyes and look at the file again in disbelief. You had only learned that this was the TVA in the Marvel Cinematic Universe last week; you weren’t expecting one of the characters to be here as a variant so soon!

Loki.

Drink forgotten on the desk, you grab the file and rush out of the room. You couldn’t let your anxiety take over now, not when you had the chance to meet the Loki. If we were talking about problematic favorites, then they were number one on the list. ‘I mean, they’re a villain and they’re hot. What was I supposed to do? Not simp over them?’ You knew Loki would be here eventually, having seen the trailers for the tv show, but when you arrived here, you had no idea what point of the timeline you were at. The show hadn’t aired yet, so you have no idea what’s to come. That thought makes you both nervous and excited.

It doesn’t take you long to reach the circulation desk. You hand the file to the person sitting there, and a bit out of breath you ask, “that variant… where are they?”

They give you a strange look before looking through their own files. “It looks like they are currently with Agent Mobius in Time Theater A, floor 2WE.”

“Thank you,” you hurriedly grab the file and speed-walk to the elevator. You’re not about to risk running through halls filled with armed TVA that could vaporize you with a single tap from their zappy sticks, especially since it seemed many of them didn’t quite like you. Luckily, there’s an elevator close by and you get there quickly, waiting for it to come to your floor after hitting the button. As soon as you confirm the elevator is empty after the doors open, you rush in and hit the button labelled ‘2WE.’ Now stuck with nothing to do but wait, your mind finally has a chance to catch you up on all the anxiety you forgot about—all those doubts that started to build up, wondering if this was a good idea. You start to pace around the small space as nerves get the better of you, nearly jumping out of your skin when the elevator dings and the doors slide open. There’re people rushing about, like always, and you do your best to squeeze past them to Time Theater A.

You slip through the theater doors as quickly as possible, letting out a quick sigh of relief as soon as you’re out of the crowd. You look up, and there he is, sitting on the steps to your left, face in hands and tesseract beside him.

He looks so… lost.

“Um, are you okay?” You asked without thinking, immediately berating yourself in your head. ‘Stupid! Of course, he’s not okay! They just got kidnapped by the TVA and now look at them! He looks so… despaired? Unsure? Like everything he thought he knew was a lie? Again?!’

He glances up at you, slightly lifting his head out of his hands and raises an eyebrow.

You stand there awkwardly for a couple seconds, not quite sure what to do. ‘They seem like a tea person; I should’ve brought tea… wait, shit, I don’t have a thermos. There’s no way I could bring some tea all the way down here without spilling it all over myself and—okay, you know what. Fuck it,’ you leave all caution to the wind and walk over to him, sitting on the steps to his left.

“…that was a stupid question, wasn’t it?” you said, letting out a single self-deprecating huff of laughter. A moment of silence passed between the two of you. You take a deep breath. “It’s okay to feel things, you know. It’s also okay to let others see that you feel things. I know that it’s hard, but sometimes it’s easier with a stranger. So, if you want to, you can…vent? Fuck, sorry, I can’t think of the other word for it, and you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with—actually, you know what, forget it, just forget I said anything at all and now I’m rambling and making a fool of myself—okay, deep breaths.”

You felt absolutely mortified. He you were, tiny insignificant mortal you, trying to comfort a literal deity who you may or may not simp for and making a complete fool of yourself. This time, it’s your turn to bury your face in your hands. You want to scream in frustration at yourself, but there’s no way you’d do that in front of them. You peek at them between your fingers to see that he’s looking at you with confusion written on his face.

“Heheh… sorry about that. I tend to ramble a lot… especially when I don’t know what to do,” you take another deep breath and turn to look at them. “But where are my manners. I’m (y/n), nice to meet you—"

“Loki,” Agent Mobius cuts you off as he enters the room, wielding the phaser stick.

‘This… this is not a good situation right now, is it?’

Hey. I know some people (like myself) like to be added to the taglist so… if you wanna… lemme know and I’ll slap your name on it. Ok. So. I’m going to try to update this weekly as the episodes air. Maybe biweekly if I need to cut some chapters in half because they’re long and I wanna post what I’ve finished so far. But maybe, just maybe, as we get further into the series, I’ll drop some little omakes here and there, small fluffy interactions…

#loki #loki x reader #loki x you #loki series #loki laufeyson #loki x y/n #loki fluff #x reader #is this technically an isekai? #like #I think so #but I swear I won't make it a cringe-y isekai #besides #any of the second hand embarrassment you'll face while reading this will be automatically taken care of when the reader berates themselves #you know #for being an idiot #yeah I'm projecting #deal with it #in this house #we don't think things through #we see point a and point be #and go straight for it #we only realize there's obstacles after they hit us in the face

[tomhiddleston]

uhh so i’ve spent the better part of the last day trying to cobble together any kind of coherent thought about the loki series... and i should be able to so do since i’m an actual writer for a living, but here we are

although there were definitely moments where i was living my best life while watching it, i cannot say that i enjoyed the show overall. oof.

i had my doubts going in to the series initially. i didn’t even want to watch it at first, which is pretty much blasphemy since i’m such a longtime tom fan. i wasn’t sure how i thought about there being new content about loki after infinity war. but i watched it. i enjoyed the first two episodes, but then it lost me. 

and even now, i find that my initial reservations feel more valid than ever. i do not think that this show was needed. yes, it was needed in the sense that it’s set up the remainder of phase 4 in a big way, but as a show about loki? i don’t think we needed this show. and to me... it kind of felt like a weird slap in the face in a lot of ways.

i came out of the finale straight up grimacing for like an hour afterward, and it left a really sour feeling in my stomach all day today. let me work through some of the reasons why it left such a weird/bad impression on me, and i’ll leave my biggest thing for last:

1. maybe i was wrong for wanting a loki show to be about loki. but boy did it feel like they nerfed him in this series. he was a secondary character in his own show, or at least i felt like he was. and that doesn’t feel very good as a big time mcu loki fan. 

2. why give loki a forced romantic subplot? i won’t get into this because it’s divided the loki fandom. but that’s another thing. this show has fucking divided the loki fandom into two camps now. and i hate that. if you ship sylki or even lokius, more power to you! i will never ever shame someone for shipping the ships they enjoy. y’all would be shocked at some of my own ships, so i cannot judge LMAO. i just hate how the fandom is so split now because of it. i personally do not think the show needed any romance. but that’s just my opinion!

3. maybe this one is REALLY an unpopular opinion, but... i really wish we could have gotten a cool loki show about loki’s crazy and interesting escapades instead of something that had everything to do with setting up phase 4 and so little about all the things i’ve loved about loki all these years. i just kind of wish that some of these stories can be their OWN thing, but the demands of the mcu say otherwise, i guess.

4. ok here’s the big one. how is this show supposed to take place in the immediate aftermath of the first avengers? like... the loki in this show is NOT avengers loki. avengers loki was a sweaty, hot mess, who had been tortured by thanos and was at his most broken. he was vindictive, a little sadistic, and very much chaotic evil. a true nasty boy. and he was loving every moment of it. the loki in the loki series?? felt more like ragnarok-era loki. chaotic neutral loki, if you will. he has not gone through the character development needed to reach this point!!! do we forget how absolutely feral avengers loki was? he was at PEAK villainy. 

you know who in the loki show feels like avengers loki? president loki. president loki is who he should have been like in this series. and no, i will not be taking comments at this time lollll

this was the wrong characterization and, while i always love tom’s portrayal of loki and love to see him, this should not have been the direction they took him in for the show. i s2g avengers loki would have taken over the tva. period.

://

now i’ll leave you with one more controversial opinion: they should have ended loki’s story and presence in the mcu with his death in infinity war. he had the perfect character arc over multiple films and went out KNOWING thanos was going to kill him but still tried to kill him anyway and stop him from winning. it’s still devastating to watch, but it was the perfect ending for him.

so in the end, i guess i just have to say that i retract my earlier “loki show good” post

right. i’m done talking about this lol

anyway, stan classic loki 

#i WILL delete this later #kinda just wanted to get Thoughts out #try to exorcise them from my dumb brain #loki series #spoilers #? ish

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Loki Episode 3 Rewatch

First of all, the positive:

Still super happy about the Hayley Kiyoko song. Out of all the things I expected to be included in this series Lesbian Jesus was not one of them but I am not complaining

I thought the soundtrack in this one was great

Since this was my third watch I was going to skip the non-Loki scene at the beginning but Hunter C-20 is just too pretty so alas, it could not be done

I would like to point out that Loki has touched/run his hands through his hair at least once in every episode. I approve, keep up the good work sweetie.

Although the episode automatically loses points for no crying

Teleportation yayyyyy

I love the sibling dynamic between the two of them

CANON QUEER LOKI

I now have a lot of feelings about the drunk scene thanks to this post. 

I couldn’t tell if Sylvie could understand what Loki was singing? Does she know Asgardian? I can't tell from her face if she understands the words or not. She seems a little weirded out by him singing to her (understandable) and just kind of raises her eyebrows at him, but I can’t tell if this is a “what the fuck are you singing to me?” or simply a “why the fuck are you singing to me?” face (it could be both).

Loved Loki's concern for the TVA people being variants

Speaking of which, I'm very glad to see them beginning to frame the TVA as bad and calling them fascists

Once again, really, really appreciate them letting Loki verbally show concern for the people who are going to die

Nothing to see here just my boy casually stopping a giant falling building in midair

Speaking of magic, I really hope Loki gets to learn how to enchant people at some point in the series.

Overall I thought that last scene was pretty great. Excellent music, visually amazing, Loki getting to use magic and fight people (and looking lovely while doing it), just an all around good scene.

Once again I say - that was one hell of a cliffhanger

Ok, now the negative:

It was kind of weird that Loki just let Sylvie touch him at the beginning? Even if he didn't feel threatened by her, I don't think he'd just...let someone put their hands on his neck?

Imo, the scene where Loki gets them on the train by impersonating a guard is a characterization mess. I can see Loki in it but only if I squint real, real hard and it might just be a trick of the light.

I'm aware that I'm taking this one too personally and it was likely just a matter of the writers not thinking things through, but the scene where Loki missed with the dagger genuinely felt like a slap in the face. Especially with the way it was set up, with him taking aim and it seeming like it was going to be a cool moment. It felt like "oh, you thought Loki was finally going to get a badass moment? Lol think again!" I feel like we keep getting little glimpses of badass Loki and then they're ripped away from us? Anyway nothing in previous canon has indicated that Loki would ever miss a throw like that so I'm just going to chalk that up to a weird moment and continue headcanoning Loki as someone who has impeccable weapon aim even when impaired, fuck you very much

This was a confusing episode to process for me because despite the fact that Loki used more magic in this episode than all the films combined, he simultaneously felt very underpowered to me overall. It's like if he uses magic he suddenly loses dagger skill and intellect (and apparently according to the films, if he uses his mind and his knives he doesn't get to use magic). Can Loki be allowed to use magic and be smart and be good at throwing daggers all at the same time please??

I honestly really like Sylvie but it felt to me like they were using her as a foil to make Loki look inferior/incompetent and uhhhh I'm not a fan

@delyth88 as well as some others said something about Sylvie feeling more like our Loki than Loki does and unfortunately I think I agree. The way she speaks as well as her actual dialogue literally sound more Loki-like.

This is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things (and I debated even mentioning it), but I don't understand why he keeps putting his hands on his hips. I thought it looked weird in the first episode when he does it right before being arrested, and I think it looks weird now. He's never done that in the films but he’s doing it all the time in the series? I don't have any real reason to back up why I don't like it, so no shade at all to anyone who does - imo it just doesn't fit and feels like a mannerism that belongs to another character. 

I think some of my negative feels about this one come from a disappointment factor. I was, however cautiously, expecting the ooc stuff to be lessened a lot in this episode - but there were some pretty rough ooc moments in this one for me. Because of how the last one ended, I thought there would be a tonal shift in episode 3. And I now feel like that shift is going to happen in the next episode, and I hate to get my hopes up again because I kind of got burned doing that with this last one. But, ugh, it really does seem like it could happen and it would actually make more sense with episode 4 being the start of the second half of the series...so idk??

#loki spoilers #loki series negativity #loki tv series #lamentis

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

Chapter 5 (Winter’s Gem) (Bucky Barnes AU)

CHAPTER 4

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader (AU)

Summary: Bucky Barnes has been scouted by your boss in Felicity Night, you were just a mere young, cleaner in Felicity night and have been living in the basement of the club for all your life. He's the most wanted Gigolo in the city, and taking him away from eager, thirsty women seemed to be impossible especially if he chose to be a Gigolo as his way of living.

Warning: The words in Italics can be quite dark. (My heart literally fell while writing it 😢) Obviously tons of cuss words because..you'll know why. 😉😂 One word that can be considered sexual. Ahem. 

Words: 3300+

A/N: Everybody give feedback! Your comments and votes make me think y'all are loving this! (Sorry for the typos and grammatical errors if there is, Buddies!) Thank you for all the support I’ve been receiving for this Bucky Barnes series of mine! Love y’all! 

Italics meant that flashbacks happened, alright? Thank you, tater tots! 

Disclaimer: PNG's, pictures and GIF's aren't mine. However, the whole series, one shots and edits are from moi.

Taglists: @damnbuckyishot​ @yn-the-reader​ @iwillmakeyoucraveme​ @willpoch12​ 

Tick-tock. Tick-Tock. The black clock without hour hands said. Rain droplets fell on his forehead, cold ice caressed his bare, scrawny, soft skinned chest. He could feel a woman's cold, fingers stroke his stomach in the most sickening way. Every beat of his heart was travelling straight to his mind, fearing him what the woman could do to him. What more can she do when she already did everything she had to?

"Your mother's going to be delighted to know how much I'm paying her,"

The whole scene changed, and next thing he knew he was back in the huge, green garbage truck that he hid from the entire week. It was raining cats and dogs, his whole body was filthy, unwashed and greasy. Who wouldn't be after basically living in the dumps for a month? Trying to get away from your abusive, inhumane second mother that sells you to different kinds of people?

"I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be here," James repeated over and over again, tightly tugging on his roots, appearing to be loco in other people's perspective. "Don't touch me, that's enough, I'm hurting!" He burbled non-stop, something probably triggered him to remember it again and now he was in another episode that he will surely have a difficult time to get out.

Somebody had to open the back of the truck, the bald man was startled to see a teen hurled inside a truck full of garbage, the teen continuously talking to himself. He was reconsidering helping him when baby blue eyes peeped up at him, a juvenile who had no light inside his eyes.

"goddamn--motherfucker!" Drops of bloody sweat fell on his dark-hued complexion, making him drop the coat he decided to throw away. It was already dirty, used and bloody.

"Yo, Kid." He nonchalantly called, shivering at the same time from the crisp, cold winter wind. "I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be here," James whispered over and over again, rocking himself.

"Alright, alright. I know you don't wanna be here in this goddamn truck because it fucking smells like shit," The man replied with a sassy raise of his brow, before taking in James's filthy appearance. Receiving a huff once he got a wiff of his awful smell, "You look lost," He stated as a matter of fact. "Where's your mother?"

Just one mention of her made him react in a violent manner, quickly scrambling away from the tall, bald man. "No! Noooo! Not her!!!"

He was fast enough to tug on his ankle, refraining from him to crawl out further. "Alright, chill down! I'm trying to fucking help you, blue eyed Tarzan!" He sent out another aggravated huff, probably thinking why he even decided to throw his black coat away in a god damn garbage truck. "I know I look scary to you, a pirate even. But, I'm good. I think I am,"

"Do you need help?" James didn't bother to send a reply as he shrugged his ankle off his hold, making the man nod to himself, answering his own question. "Well, obviously you do,"

He abruptly talked, leaving James confused, slyly looking around to who he was referring to but he only saw a huge, black Ford Expedition a few meters away from them. "Miss Hill, give this kid whatever blanket or shit that'll make him warm," He talked to himself.

"Yes, sir."

He sighed, waiting for the blanket he was asking for. Now, it was time for a mini interrogation that was needed because he won't go helping the kid if he doesn't know a thing about him, "I'm Fury, Nick Fury." He paused as he watched how James looked entirely alert and cautious of his next movements.

"Now, what's your name, Kid?"

James could only swallow his saliva, appearing to be nervous and hesitant to state his name. "You can trust me kid," Yet, he still wouldn't budge.

Fury had to grab onto his pistol, checking if the mag was loaded and gave the gun to him. James's eyes could practically jump out of his eyesockets as of the moment. "If you think I can't be trusted, shoot me. I won't hurt you back and I'll just leave,"

He opened his lips to talk, before closing it once again. Giving himself a peptalk and then finally raised the imaginary white flag. "James.." He swallowed the ball of anxiety pooling inside his throat, down to his stomach. "James Buchanan Barnes,"

Nick gave a nonchalant nod, thinking of ways and probably some other kind of name to go with him. "That's one hell of a name, I won't go calling you that." He stated as a matter of fact. "You'll be called Winter from now on, Bud." The former didn't hesistate but to give his hand out at the lost juvenile, gesturing for him to join his mysterious voyage. "And you're coming with me for help," Nick gave a tight smirk, a sneak peak of his pearly whites showing a little bit. "We need some extra help in 'Maximum Risk' anyway."

Winter didn't hesitate but to give back his pistol, dropping it on his outstretched hand as he jump out of the garbage truck all on his own while he quietly muttered. "Count me in,"

Blood.

"Winter, calm down. Calm the fuck down,"

Sweat.

"No, Fury. My arm! What happened to my real fucking arm?!"

Tears.

"I-I can't do this, I can't do this."

Scars that came from treacherous battles.

"You can, Barnes. It's the only way, and after this. You're rolling in the riches,"

Memories.

Bucky Barnes sat up in panic on his soft bed. A nightmare. What was her name, again? He remembers her face, the smell of her hair, the laugh that echoes inside his fragmented memories, yet he couldn't recall her name because all he could think of was that witch. The name that he loathed the most.

Bucky was quick to snatch the red book beside his bed. All perspired, anxious and heaving for life-saving breaths that could calm him down. Y/N's picture was all it took for his fears to concede.

"Y/N," He panted, fluttering his eyes closed. Taking in several breaths and retrieving his happy memories with her. Replacing the bad ones with those times he was untroubled and blissful. Those precious moments that he kept to heart. "Y/N." Bucky repeated, more like a mantra and a need to see and be with her.

He needed to see her. Bucky needed to see the only good thing that happened in his life and that was Y/N.

Dressed in just his sweatpants and shirt, he didn't think twice to scramble out of his bed, having a mission to search for his woman.

Right timing for Felicity Night to be closed because it was a holiday for them. Only a holiday that everybody picked to have their day offs. Even though, Gigolos and strippers shouldn't exactly have one.

As he was walking down the halls, passing by rooms that are vacant and a sharp right turn towards the bar, he instantly saw a semi-long blonde hair. All wavy and majestic just like his. Gigantic arms perched against the brown, wooden table with two people around him who were also drunk as a fly. Clint, the sneaky stripper who happened to own the stage with a nickname, 'the electrician' in which he highly despise because it sounded displeasing. Loki was the first to suggest that because he have seen him sleeping in the vents inside Felicity Night. As for Pietro who was called 'Silver' because of his unique hair color that the ladies loved.

"Thor, have you seen, Y/N?" Bucky clasped onto Thor's burly shoulders, startling the poor drunk man who had five seconds before he replied and acknowledged the metal armed man.

"No. I have not seen your gorgeous lady, Mr. Winter." Thor shouted a little too loudly. Well, a lot loudly. A whole lot. Startling his two drunk buddies who were tempted to curl into a ball and drop drunk on the floor with their barf all over. "Thor, shut it--"

Thor held a finger up, shifting on his seat to face him fully. "Or I must say I did?" He clutched onto his left boob. Bucky couldn't help but shake his head. He knew Steve's habit and it was getting too infectious now because Thor is beginning to absorb the way he laughs. "HAHAHAHA!"

"Well, well, well," Clint slurred, trying to keep his eyes straight as he grabbed a jigger full of vodka before drinking it straight. "If it isn't the Winter Soldier," He coughed, keeping himself straight on his seat. "Fury never forgot to mention you when I decided to move in this awful club," He drunkenly raised his empty glass, trying to keep his eyes opened. "Fucking vodka is making me barf like a hawk!" He hiccuped. "If that e-even makes sense!"

Bucky could hear another set of hiccups, however it was now coming from the silver haired waiter who became the best employee of the month because he was a quick server and his looks were a plus because it makes the ladies order more than normal. "Fury's infamous--" He hiccuped, slightly slapping himself with a smile. "--Soldat that everybody loves especially the ladies," Pietro chuckled to himself, his next words slurred and only Bucky, the sober person around the crowd full of drunkards could understand his words and foreign accent. "Why agree to an inhumane contract agreement with a bitch when you could've s-stayed in 'Maximum Risk', Soldat?"

Pietro deeply sighed to himself, feeling his barf in his throat as he tried to swallow it back. "Y-You were Fury's favorite right hand man," He frustratingly palmed his face, feeling more dizzy as time goes by. "Why leave, Winter Soldat?"

"CHEERS, UNCULTURED FOOLS!" Thor suddenly bursted aloud, a huge beer glass in hand as he laughed to himself. "I AM WORTHY," He murmured to himself, seeming to be in another dimension. "I AM THE GOD OF WHISKEY, I DO NOT GET DRUNK IN HASTE!"

Bucky left Pietro and Clint's question unanswered, leaving the three musketeers alone as they drink their hearts out. He sighed to himself, hearing those words come out of Pietro and Clint gives him mini flashbacks that he surely wanted to come back from but didn't want to remember all the horrible things he did.

Natasha's heels came echoing inside the pub despite of the semi-loud music. She swayed her red hair left to right, her hips swaying with the beat. She was a beautiful lady, too beautiful. Nonetheless, her beauty have been ignored by the metal armed man since day 1. Why? Because Bucky was used to beauties like her and he wanted someone different. "Natasha, have you seen--" She stopped dead on her tracks, a smirk lifting her maroon red lips. "Y/N?" She gestured behind her, "Think I saw her somewhere in the bar with Stan," She paused and nodded to herself, "Drinking their asses off,"

Bucky licked his cherry red lips out of habit, flicking his bangs behind his ears with his fingers, those kind of movements that the ladies loved. "Ah, Thanks." He nodded, thinking that his woman was probably drinking water because she was prohibited to drink intoxicating drinks. "Martini's is what I meant." And that made Bucky choke in his own saliva. "Jesus--what?!"

Only a mischievous smirk from the gorgeous red head was sent his way, "You just woke up, had a nightmare and this is what you do first thing in the midnight?" Natasha couldn't help but chuckle, Ahh. The smell of love, indeed. That's what it does to humans. "To find Y/N?" Pause. Bucky held a finger against his lips, hushing the grinning woman whom he considers one of his closest friends. "Shush, can you keep it down, will ya'?"

Thor's laughter made her glance towards where the drunkards and other drunk buddies where. Including a certain patriotic blondie who began stumbling to the bar where Stan was. "Yeah, yeah. Secret lovers hiding from the witches. Your fates are in luck," She clicked her tongue.

The metal armed man couldn't help but scoff from her choice of words, making him shake his head with a bittersweet smile. "I never had a good fate,"

"Now, don't go all drama with me, Barnes. Your lady's drunk with our old man, go get her before she pukes," It was a wrong move for Natasha, because she knew it would trigger him a lot more if she continues to talk and so she was quick to change the topic and move on to a subject that will definitely make Bucky's mind travel into another dimension. Y/N and his own dimension. "She's lucky her mother's currently having a meeting with the club in West Coast,"

One mention of the word, 'West coast' made his lost, fragmented soul lit up like birthday candles. "Maximum Risk?" He questioned with utmost curiosity, seeing his lips turn a little curve. Well, that was good. "Yep. The one and only,"

"God, I miss that place."

"Try and come by some time. I bet Sam misses you," Natasha joked, crossing her arms against her bountiful chest. Bucky mentally groaned at hearing that certain name, God. He thought to himself, remembering the kinda good ol' days with his old friend, Sam Wilson. "You make me puke, Romanoff."

To Bucky's surprise, he didn't know that the person he was finding for was actually swaying towards his way. A giggly Y/N was on a hunt, and it was a hunt for her Bucky Barnes. She knew he was fast asleep, however she didn't know he was up and at 'em. Searching for who knows who. Her of course.

Once at arms reach, she smiled, those kind of smiles that Bucky wanted nothing more than to take a picture of. Kind of heartmelting, kind of infectous too. "B-Booki? Is that chu'?" You took his appearance in, gray sweatpants and all of his glory. Eyes turning wider from accidentally taking a glimpse at his jam-packed crotch that made you nod your head a thousand times. Grading it in the back of your mind. A+ indeed. "It's Love for you, Doll."

Bucky caught her in his arms when she began to turn around and give a wave at the tipsy Loki who called her from afar. Swaying in the process. Bucky's arms were quick to engulf her waist, pulling her close to him as he breathed on her ear. "Lo-love? Are you serious? Do I get a man like you? Are you for real?" You giggled with a hiccup, quickly holding your mouth for no reason. Laughing more to yourself. "Shush. We don't want everybody knowing our relationship yet, right?"

You hummed, clicking your head to the side as you felt his breath fanning over your neck. It was hot, warm and it felt good. Too good for your own good and you were definitely wrecked. "Y-Yeah..But, are you seriously for real?" Bucky chuckled, tightening his hold around you and kissing the back of your ear which gave you the shivers. "Yeah, I surely am, Doll."

James chuckled from behind, his smile reaching from ear to ear. Kind of too precious not to notice and you leaned into his touch. Loving his warmth. Natasha was also grinning from ear to ear and the people who were close with her would know that her, 'grinning' or 'smirking' meant that she was being unpredictable. She noticed how everybody was doing their own thing, Bucky and Y/N currently wrapped in their own invaluable world and so she discreetly left like a Black Widow in disguise.

Not a little long after Natasha's silent departure, Bucky's patriotic best friend came wobbling-walking towards them. Igniting a stern look on Bucky's once happy face. He kept you beside him, his metal hand tightly clasping on your hip, making you giggle and hug his flat, sinewy stomach, geting comfortable and still completely intoxicated from all the Martini's that Stan made you drink. Your alcohol level was a little bit low than the others since you don't drink a lot.

"Hey, Buck. Y/N seem to be..left uncompromised?" Steve greeted with a chirpy tone, giggling just like you are. "And here I thought I could trust you with her, Punk." Bucky responded with a huff, shaking his head in disappointment as he watched Steve's face that was all red because he was damn drunk. "You said she has asthma? Why did you even let her drink?"

"I said she has asthma," Steve declared, his teeth showing from how wide he was smiling, "I didn't say she was disabled!"

Bucky couldn't help but wash his face with his flesh hand. Jesus.

"I-I was about to take her to my room--" Steve honestly spoke, gesturing towards where the stairs where. Bucky was quick to protest his disapproval towards it. Glaring right at his bestest friend. If he does that before for her..well, now's different. Everything turned a 180 degrees since last month. "Don't you dare, Steve." Bucky taunted with a scowl, making Steve giggle.

"It was a very genius suggestion!"

You began to realize that Steve was in front of you. Thus, you began to make grabby gestures with your hands. "Steveeennnn Grannnntttttt Roggeeeersssss," About to lean and sway in front of him yet Bucky was quick to hold onto you. Pulling you back against him with a gentle hush followed by a tender call of 'Doll' and the word 'Behave' that kept your feet rooted on the ground, giving your lower half a tingly sensation that made you giggle once more. Weird. Why were you feeling horny all of a sudden?

"Jesus Christ," Bucky muttered beneath his breath as he saw Steve twirling round and round. Completely watching him so smashed. "Steve--" He began, though he only got a laugh as a reply. "--Whatever, you need to lay it down a bit, pal. You know, you gotta hit the sack? You're stewed as hell,"

"I will, Buckaroo!" His bestfriend called out loud with a grin, knowing that Bucky didn't like to be called that way and it could tick him off. With a loud huff and a stern frown he grabbed you around your waist with his burly arm, not wanting to let go of you.

"That's it, we're leaving. Have a nice night, punk."

FEEDBACKS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED, TATER TOTS! My works aren’t to be copied anywhere. I do not share nor let other people copy my works, I have seen other people plagiarizing writer’s works here and I do not like that happening to them and also to me as well. Thank you very much!

IF YOU WANNA BE INCLUDED IN THE TAGLIST OF THIS SERIES OF MINE, PLEASE DO SEND AN ASK OR COMMENT OR REBLOG THEN TELL ME! Thank youuu!

#bucky #Bucky Barnes #James Buchanan Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fandom #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes x y/n #gigolo!bucky #MCU #mcu imagine #mcu cast #thor odinson #steve rogers x reader #steven grant rogers #steve rogers #pietro maximoff #loki #natasha romanoff #the winter soldier #nick fury #tatasmasterlist #seb-owns-these-tatas #tatasworks #marvel #marvel cast #marvel au #bucky barnes au

[valentineblaze]

Endgame Spoilers

Listen up people I am here to rant.

Tony Stark is effing amazing and I love every second of his gilded trashbag life. But this was just a killer. Dad Tony was everything I wanted and more let me tell ya. I love you 3000 is freaking heartbreaking. I have no issue with his arc in the movie at all even if the end does cause me to break out into back breaking sobs because fuck you. If Tony is going to die by gauntlet then you had better be damn sure everyone he even peripherally gave a damn about is going to make it through this fight. Natasha, Gamora, Loki, and every single Asgardian Tony could remember would have been brought back because that man is the definition of all or nothing.

What I have issues with is the sheer lack of world building we get in this movie. Honestly its the Snap and the only glimpse of this Post apocalyptic world is group Therapy and Remembrance walls. As well as several miscellaneous flashbacks to Hawk-eyes surprise family? That not even comic fans are super attached too because they were literally made up probably for male man pain. Where was the atmosphere? Where was the drama? Where was the angst? Post snap was quite honestly not heart wrenchingly rendered into a suitable level of grief. It just wasn't. I expected break downs and rage. All I got was three seconds of Natasha tears as she has let someone else tracking down her soulbro. And a Tony Stark screaming at Captain America. This movie just told us what was happening didn't show us what was happening. It was piss poor story boarding.

Then there was the character development. Like wow. We get all these new and amazing side characters in which you could have fleshed out and made us root for and you just throw them to the sea like chum. -Captain marvel is just not there at all, she gets a gratuituous girl power scene which was random and then she gets slapped to the ground never to get up? Right after she take a head butt without a single flinch. You can small Thanos's fear right then. -Rocket gets to slap Thor? Thats it thats his most memorable moment other the holding Nebula's hand. -Rhodey has some of the best lines but no development or follow up. -Nebula there is so much happening off screen that it physically hurts me. She is amazing. I adore her. I want a series of her. Nebula is my bitch bea. I found a new hoe to die for and it is she. She is my new ride or die. Found family and redemption arcs come at me. -Sam and Bucky both get maybe two lines a piece and that just irks me.

Time travel... yes bitch I am always there for time travel hijinks and drama but honestly five minutes of a single episode of leverage had more heist feels then this three hour train wreck. It might have been the lack of a great soundtrack but it just wasn't that compelling to watch. I'm also really confused about the time travel thearory in this shit because they kept going back on thier own writing through out the movie (cough cough STEVE cough) I'm a fan of we rewrite the future by affecting the past. Butterfly effect is my Jam. This alternate reality thing is fun yes but it can't really be that because they may create alternate realities okay? then if there was the need for pym particals for time travel to occur how did Thanos's big ass army get enough to travel through time to the future? Because the avengers were out or at least low regardless of Steve's thievery and Nebula only had the one from my understanding. Also if changing the reality makes a new reality how the fuck was Steve in this reality.

Bruce , Bruce, Bruce. My beautiful green rage monster and yoga doctorate what have they done to you. What is going on. Why are you so cheerful. Why are you at peace. I hate to say it but go back. Why are we still doing this Nat/Bruce ship? It is so random. I just can't see it. Fandom can trick me into it for a few chapters but not forever.  Ya'll should have taken a hint from Ragnorok give me that personality and it would have been a win. Shock and dismay was my only emotions when it came to this mess.

My constant rage with this series is pick up an effin comic book. Sit down watch a cartoon. If anyone is going to become a human disaster post Snap its going to be effin Hawkeye. Like yay Ronin cool but what the actual fuck. Why did you come at me like that? Hawkeye is not your edgy overlord. He probably would have died ages ago with out the female influences in his life. He has regular dates with dumpsters.  I'm sure he even has a ranking system for prefered dumpsters to end up in after a beat down. Yes he is startlingly competent but even he doesn't know how he does it half the time. He eats food off the floor and thinks expiration dates are guidelines.

Thor was a new one. They threw me for a loop. One this man needs a hug. Two, why is no one hugging him? His rampant depression and weight gain shouldn't have been the butt of jokes. There should have been some honest concern and meaningful conversations with the living not the dead. Thor never doubted his mother's love. That was never up for debate. Thor is not to blame for the snap. Thor will give no fucks if he messes up the timeline if it means his family is alive and together. Especially post Ragnarok. Also I could have sworn Thanos killed every asguardian on his ship at the beginning of infinity war? How is Valkyrie alive? Why would Thor decide to go to space?

I’m not even gonna touch on the Black Widow for this one. I’m just not gonna go there. Blind rage doesn’t even cover it.

Howard Stark. Wow just wow I thought I was having some weird ass delusion. That man is scum. Comic canon scum. One of the smartest men on the planet yes, revolutionary war hero technically yes, great father and overall good human being? Hell to the no. Tony literally named his A.I. after Jarvis, cried over the death of J.A.R.V.I.S,  I would have expected a quiet chat about fatherhood and marriage and how it can make the best out of any man (he hopes)  before I got a conversation with dear old dad.

Why can’t Tony and Steve have one friendly conversation? A sense of camaraderie? Anything? Why is that so hard?

Steve "fight me" Rogers what has MCU done to you? I'm supposed to believe that you would have left Bucky Barnes to Hydra's hands for over 70 years. Im supposed to believe that you would have been in the past and had no interactions with Howard Stark. Im supposed to believe that the you married the Director of Shield and you didn't wax poetry about the amazing woman that diegned to marry you every damn day of your life? This woman on her deathbed told you she lived a long and fulfilled life and that you should move on to have the same happiness as she and you did what? That he wouldn't have dismantled every last bit of Hydra. That he would just let Natasha and Tony die because of that shitty delusional grape? The disrespect STEVEN the disRESPECT! I am a Stony stan for sure but hell if I don't respect Peggy Carter. So yay steve gets his happy cis gendered ending but what about the rest of em?

#i will spend the next week editing this #endgame #spoilers #i hate it #i really really hate it. #mcu #endgame spoilers #my rage doesn't hit civil war or ultron levels mostly because i'm just tired but #seething is accurate

[rpedia]

[Ask RPedia] Does the Main Character Have to be “Good” to be Liked?

Anonymous asked: Do you think a character HAS to be likeable for people to like them, if they're the protagonist in the story? I've had a lot of conflict over this, as I myself enjoy having unlikeable/mean/"villainous" characters as the main character, but I'm unsure as to whether this would go well over with the majority. Do you think being likeable is a must-have trait for a popular, or enjoyable character?

Hi yeah okay uhm, no. Never. Nope. Honestly people just love a character they can connect with, and there’s a lot of people out there who look at themselves and are guilty that they have less-than-perfect responses to situations. Seeing someone who does similar, yet thrills and interests them, can give them that hook. Let them know they aren’t alone, and give them a fictional anchor to see themselves in. That connection, be it fascination, love, attraction, or reflection is the important part. Let’s examine a few of the ‘most popular’ characters from recent shows and see why they were popular, because surprise surprise, most of them were straight up villains yet everyone loves them. ... I’m going to talk a lot about basically these two paragraphs ad nauseum as I explain, get ready for it.

So we’re going to jump right into some fandoms people have hashed back and forth to the point that, really, we want to gag. Yes. Let’s walk directly into hell and pick up BBC Sherlock, the MCU’s Avengers, Game of Thrones, and... you know what, let’s do it. Let’s go grab that Nolan version of Batman.

You probably realized who I was talking about first for each and every one of them, so let’s point at our targets. Moriarty, Loki, Joker, and Joffery come on down! Actually GoT has a lot of fucking targets let’s be real. We’ll leave that one for last because we can drain it of the most meat before we toss it aside. Anyways.

What do these characters have in common? They’re evil, yes, they’re strongly represented in their respective canons, and holy shit the fandom fucking loves them. Like everything about them, there’s fanart, and fanfics, and rewrites, and redemption arcs in every little fanish heart for miles. (peep TVtropes about this following phrase) They have more Leather Pants than Draco Malfoy, another fond favorite but we’re not gonna bother with him because he doesn’t have much hearty fulfilling canon meat on him. Fandom strongly wishes that these characters, despite their issues, were ‘good people’ and could care about another person. They want them to be a little bit goofy, and are completely willing to overlook everything they’ve done if they could get better now.

So my theory, and oh no I have a theory, is you can get away with a character being a total fuckface if you pick which part of Triumvirate of Attraction they fail at and keep the other two. It’s a triangle. The corners are: Attractive Looking, Witty/Sarcastic/Intelligent, and Relatable. So if you have a character who is relatable and funny, everyone loves them even if they are literally made out of goopy clay pasted onto some sort of twig framework. If they’re good looking and horrifyingly intelligent, no one ever has to bond with them or understand them on a deep personal level, because wow they’re funny and I can look at them! 

Seriously.

Each of these character has unlikable aspects, and I’m sure the fandom can give me a real debate about each so this is a minefield. Just remember, everyone has their own interpretations of the characters, and mine are not 100% correct, nor do I claim them to be. But my view is useful for breaking them down and explaining them as a POV to learn from, so bear with me even if I insult your favorite by accident because I’m using them for examples of assholes right now. (Hint: I've roleplayed most of them, so I love them too, I love them even if they’re horrific pieces of burning trashfire. )

So, Loki. He was raised as the second son to is King-God father and warrior son, tended towards trickery because of a rift between him and his family. He tended to be blamed for things, and then do other things. We know him as a character who has ripped people’s minds out to use them as pawns, murdered people by stabbing them through the gut, and seemed to quite enjoy warring with other planets. These, regardless of how desensitized to them we are, are not good things. That’s mind-control, murder, and murder on a team he tricked into it, and we aren’t even going to look at various things he may have done elsewise. This character is not a good man, he’s flawed, and yet people adore him. Why? Well, mostly it’s because he’s hilarious. The man turned into Captain America for a crack, he says those snappy little one-liners we all wish we could, and he’s brilliant when it comes to an extended master plan. He keeps things interesting. He’s also not bad looking, sure he might not be to your specific taste (especially after people have harped on it so long) but he’s got the kind of face that blends in with the bland circus of ‘handsome actors’ well enough. Not to mention we also identify with him, he’s got the triumvirate. The outcasts, walking in people’s shadow, who feel they’ve been pushed into being bad. Those people who want power to help others, even if it means destroying them in the process. People who need to prove themselves, and get the love they crave. They’re all seeing their reflections here, even if Loki is haughty, extremely intelligent, and out of reach as a bit of an Ice King.

Now Moriarty. Once again, we have someone who is handsome and witty! He’s sarcastic as hell, uses his voice in a certain patter to draw you in for the punchline, and then lets it rip. He knows how to keep people pulled in waiting for him to say his next memorable line. He also fucking poisoned kidnapped children with mercury, paid men to kill other people with Russian Roulette style bets, caused several man hunts, and forced people to commit suicide for kicks. Wee bit of not-good there. Is he relatable? Maybe on some shallow level, but widely, he’s too smart for us, he’s doing things we probably wouldn’t do because, well, they’s a bit mean ain’t they? He’s a mystery in many respects, and we can’t so much as bond with him, as pretend to bond with him by trying to enforce the character of Sebastian into a world he doesn’t exist in as our ‘in’, or by using Sherlock to wedge in the same ‘mirror’ so we can understand the guy who is outside of our league. We fake understanding him because we like him. So, strike relatable, keep him attractive (bisexual jokes nab a lot of looks and he’s handsome) and witty! Add as much asshole as you want the fans are snagged. He could kick a puppy and fans would croon about how evil he is, an awful sinnamon roll they want to see more of. That’s how it works. (And as a reminder, our Smart/Pretty Sherlock over there isn’t much of a relatable person or nice either.)

Why not jump to Nolanverse’s Joker now. He’s one of the first who break the ‘Handsome and Witty’ pair up, because look at him. He runs around in unshaven legs in a nurse costume with soggy makeup. He’s not clean, he probably smells funny (get it, because clown), and he’s an abusive piece of shit out to murder half the city for kicks and to get Bat-Sempai to notice him. But we find him funny and relatable, he hates how the world is dependent on money and wants to change it. He considers the world one big nasty joke being played on the people. He’s got one-liners everywhere, and frankly good advice (never do something you’re good at for free). He’s against society, against money controlling people, and wants to ‘level the playing field’. Sure, he finds that graveyards are all remarkably flat as a playing field goes, but we get it. He’s miserable and wants to do something with his life. This is how cults start to be honest. He’s an angry ugly man with a funny way of looking at the world that makes you think he’s just like you, and maybe he does have a point? So people latched onto him, he became the figurehead of a movement. Anarchy, and chaos, something they could look up to even if it wasn’t a very good thing. He is beloved, whether or not you personally like him.

Then there’s Joffery. I want to make an agonizing groaning noise over him because he’s got one trait: he’s not bad looking. If he wasn’t a raging shitstorm of pubescent narcissism bent on destruction for kicks, he’d be kind of hot. He’s not very smart, he’s not witty, he’s just cruel. If he’s relatable, it’s not through direct relation. It’s through knowing that one little prick you had to deal with your whole life who was just like him but without the power. Or I guess, there’s a lot of power fantasy loving folk who probably just liked him for him. I’m not judging. ... I’m judging a tiny bit. There’s some judgement. He’s a little shit okay, he’s a pretty nasty little shit. But was he popular as fuck? Hells yes! Everyone knows Joffery if they’ve watched the series! He’s bigger than life, people groan loudly at his name, he’s got a fandom supporting him and his tragic life. Tragic in part because he had one. People looked forward to episodes with Joffery to see what evil stunt he’d pull next, to see what happened to his victims, and most importantly to see the evil little booger meet the finger that picks him. We couldn’t wait for something to happen to Joffery, whether it was a slap to the head, a stabbing, being shoved off a building, being eaten by dire wolves... the list goes on, everyone wanted to see his comeuppance more than anything. He was also, somewhat, creative and stylish about how he went around shit. Not clever, but creative, and he made evil look descent. 

Now here’s where we turn on GoT In full force, gimme a second. So we have Cersei, and her twinsie-lover Jaime. Both assholes, but we love them too. They’re pretty, and immoral, and actually witty as fuck honestly. We watched fervently to see what would happen to them, but were they specifically likable characters? Hell no! Especially not at the beginning when they started really being massive tossers. How about Littlefinger? Oh no, he was nice once. But he’s witty, and pretty, and relatable, but a total fucknard too. The Mountain? We love his rude, violent, smouldered off face. He’s not pretty, but he’s his kinda street-smart, and he’s relatable. See how this is working out? My triumvirate of interest is proving out in our illustrative pudding. It doesn’t even have to be bad guys, look at Tyr. He’s fucking smart as hell, hilarious, people adore the shit out of him. He’s not supposed to be that pretty, but he is. He’s a total cock to people a lot, but he’s funny, and relatable. Everyone relates to Tyr. This is why Tyr is so beloved.

... now that I’ve nattered uselessly on that for a while, let’s look at the other reasons these characters were delightful. Because believe it or not there are totally other reasons beyond my theory.

If you look at everyone I’ve suggested here, there’s another reason people watch shows with them. Morbid, or entirely reasonable, curiosity what the fuck is going to happen next. So you need to set up a story that draws people in not with your characters, but with what their future holds. Is the testy little jerk going to die? Are the demons going to eat him? What horrible thing is he plotting next? God, I just want to see if it gets worse actually... These are the thoughts in the back of people’s heads. This is why Clockwork Orange went over so well, the surrealist batch of malarkey, sex, and ultraviolence that was. This is why Neil Gaiman’s American Gods has so much pull, when the protagonist was drawn on by events, rather than being an excessively fleshed out and interesting character. He was surrounded by interesting things and characters, he didn’t need to take that away from them. Sure he had interesting moments, but he wasn’t in and of himself extremely out-there and trying to take the spotlight and yet he was the main character. And I still couldn’t put the damn thing down. Thank you Neil.

So if your character is lacking in ways for people to be attracted to them, if they’re mean, ugly, horrible little people, who want nothing more than to hurt others, who aren’t funny, or even very smart. Who are disgusting wastes of flesh, who are too violent to live, and empty hollow unrelatable characters-- you have to compliment them with the most excessively interesting plot anyone as ever made, with fantastic background-characters and a shout-outloud-at-the-library ending. Something’s gotta be palatable if your characters aren’t, but do they need to be? No. Not at all. 

Can you think of any characters that have had a complete failure even though they’re marketably pretty, supposedly witty, and but-we-made-them-relatable? You’re probably, through no fault of your own, going to think about lots of mass produced strong women characters written by people who don’t ‘get it’. They assume that prepackaging the deal will instantly catch them views, I mean, she’s got sex appeal right? That’s what sells! That’s all that matters! We gave her little quips, and made her fall in love or out of love or something to do with love or the usual standard ‘I’m just as good as the guys!’ storyline, so why aren’t you falling for her yet? Because, consumers (that’s you readers!) know when something tastes like plastic. It’s fake. 

So yet another thing to keep in mind is making sure your characters steam with realism. Balance your traits, good and bad. Make sure that their reactions aren’t forced or canned or seen in every version of that character ever. It’s surprisingly easy to write characters once you treat them as 3D human beings with entire lives we’re just dipping a tow into, rather than a 2D story helper to act out our little head play and then go away. Hint at their lives, draw people in. Make them realistic. Give them reasons to say the things they do, and show those reasons if you can instead of just telling them. Avoid serious stereotyping and handwaving characters as unimportant because they’re fictional.

You are a writer have one job. Make them real. If they’re real enough, it doesn’t matter what kind of a person they are. You’re telling a story, telling something that should feel real and thick like some sort of reality soup you’ve made special. Unlikable protagonists tend to be plastic cutouts, that’s the real big issue writers face. So, even if they are horrible, make them. Tell their story. Tell all their stories. Express them like the finest of anal glands. It’ll touch someone, in their heart we hope, and it’ll grow their vocabulary. People read to expand their horizons, not to fall for the same cookie cutter good guy everyone’s afraid to break the mold of.

Remember, you can write anything. Anything. Everything. It doesn’t matter if someone will find it offensive. It doesn’t matter if it grosses someone out, or someone hates it. It doesn’t matter if it looks like a first grader should have written it in crayon. Nothing matters except getting it down on paper. After that, you can pick through it with a fine tooth comb and clean it up. Then leave it alone for a while, reread it later. If you love it and feel like it’s something that can be shared without people throwing a fit? Share it. 

But before that, you have to write it, and you don’t need anybody else at all to tell you what’s good enough’ when you’re trying to birth a word baby at 3AM in a mad dash of typing. Story now, let the true thing out even if you’re embarrassed, guilty, ashamed, threatened, and upset by it. You know it will hurt others, but you’re already thinking it. Get it out of you, like a poison and onto the paper so it stops bugging you. 

You aren’t breaking your morals, or doing something that anyone else matters in by letting a story out, if you don’t share it with anyone you know it will hurt. You’re just helping yourself. It already exists in your head, and once you accept it and let it go on the page, finally, you can pick to delete it, or just save it and never share it and die off before it gets published, whatever. Think about the details and fixes later, let the story flow, and do not let the judgement or enjoyment of some other fucker ruin that flow by making you second guess everything. 

You got this. Write that less-than-stellar character, and see where they lead you. Good luck.

#writing #character #novels #writing help #story help #RPedia #Ask RPedia

[maladaptive-ninja-returns]

It’s The Avengers (03x11)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 3 Episode 11: Exotic Medicines

Series Summary: Living in the Avengers facility post-apocalypse in a better timeline   Tony Stark has decided to capture every moment by pulling The Office on the Avengers. All of housemates are pretty used to the idea except for you, who had just come here to finish her degree, and the newest member- Loki.

Warnings: high and...slutty moments?

Word Count: My heart feels so light today. And Tari is one of the reasons for this. In the sense that she is amazing and gives me hope about myself.

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

A creature with the head of an unhinged raccoon and the body of a dragon lizard scuttled on the dry patch of land, looking at its surrounding with those crazy eyes and panting with the sounds that usually came out of an out of breath pug whose nose was too small to take in the precious air for that chonky body. This guy, however, was more interested in chewing on the first piece of leather it bonked against, those huffing noises making any witness feel for this miserable looking animal. The leather boot shoved the raccoozard away only to have that stubborn bastard come back for the seemingly delicious leather that was now drowned in its spit. The boot kicked it casually- and lightly- once again to move away from the ground and instead rest on the barrel. The camera focused out of the boot to show Loki having no feelings look to the little 'zard. The other camera flying low over the creature was more interested in Lulu's raised hair looking at the abomination with caution before coming to smell the poor thing that laid upside down, thanks to Loki's amazing boot skills. Lulu raised its fluffy paw in the air, taking his sweet time to tilt his head and smack the animal in its face. And much to the little fluff's surprise, the 'zard growled and hissed at him, making the fluff ball take a step back. "Hey," Loki called out for Javier, who turned the galactic go-pro in his hand towards the God, "send one of your peekers inside to see how's it going." Javier moved the camera toward him to record himself giving Loki a look of confusion.

"The cameras are not 'peekers'," he signed before shrugging, "and peeking is not ethical." "Oh," Loki raised his brows while the camera quite tactfully panned in on the tension in those exposed biceps of his arms under the black shirt. He raised his hands to sign back. "So you go ahead be 'ethical' when those witches sacrifice her for her blood. Okay?" Javier's muted gasp had more emotion than Natasha on her bloody days- pun fully intended. "You were the one who suggested the witches!!!" The hand movements got more intense by the passing minute. "I suggested them for her bloody cramps," Loki signs back, still perched on the barrel, "I don't know what happens after?!" The camera was called to zoom upon Javier's face before he facepalmed himself harder than he should have. "Most cunning God MY ASS!!" "If the two of you are going to make a ruckus here then I would suggest you leave." Both boys stood in attention while the cameras focused on the woman in her wise years standing right outside the tent. Her authoritative features on that beautiful wrinkled green skin showed no sign of remorse or acceptance for the apologies. When she turned to go inside Javier turned to Loki to sign, "But we were not even talk-" "Because I can hear your thoughts, you useless meat suits," she shouted from the inside. Loki looked down at a fluffed up Lulu and shrugged. "Witches."

The Lounge "Okay, so the trick is for you to go-" Scott raised his leg and gracefully brought it back to bend over to let his beautiful booty naturally display the trademarked 'thicc'ness - "and then jerk it back like-" he continued by giving it a pop. Once. Twice. Thrice. The camera turned away to look at Peter and Vision stare in a mixture of shock as well as delight with a synced tilt of their heads. "How did you do that?" Pretending to flick away the hair from his face as he came back up- quite seductively- he sighed. "I've had practice." The audience waited and was met with no further commentary. "Oh, okay. So, we are not discussing the...uh...practice," Peter breathed before letting his brows furrow in deep curiosity, "but how the eff do you do the-" he bent over and tried to twerk. That twerk came out more like Peter trying to force his diaphragm to push up a seed stuck in his windpipe.  Scott blinked at the effort before helplessly looking at the camera.

Scott: *clicks his tongue* White people problems. We either shake that thang like Beyonce was our mama or we bend over as if begging someone to do the Heimlich on us. *camera zooms in* There is no in-between.

"You need a lot of practice," Scott pointed at the spider boy before moving over to Vision. "And show me what you learned." Vision looked at Scott's phone and WAP started right from the build-up to the verse. The camera never went below Scott and Peter's torsos but the unprecedented shock in their popping eyeballs left a lot to the imagination. When Vision finally came back in the frame, he smiled at the two. "I feel like I could have popped my behind more." Scott and Peter blinked and felt themselves jolt at his statement. "More?!" Peter gasped. "How?!!" Scott shouted at the same time. Vision, unphased, let the music start from the top. "Like this," he added innocently and went out of the frame, leaving both the boys to find a God in their prayers to answer their questions.

Planet of the Witches Javier took the shade of the lone bush under the sweltering sun by squatting under it, all the while watching Loki's leg impatiently tap on the barrel it was resting on. And when their eyes met, the former smiled and signed something. "I'm not worried about her. I'm worried about my ears falling off from listening to Stark's babbling of 'not taking care of her daughter'. I am not her bodyguard. He should know that by now." Javier scoffed. 'Are you sure you know that by now?' Loki narrowed his eyes at him.  "You have been getting cheeky by the day, boy." "And you cannot control your grumbling clouds for a fraction of the 'kula, can you?" The eldest of the witches, a humped grandma with a river of wrinkles over her face and hands and feet, came out to glare at Loki, who got off the barrel to stand in front of her in just a pinch of guilt before his eyes were distracted by your figure coming out of the tent. Before Loki's veiled relief could say anything, grandma took her crooked walking stick and slapped Loki's shin. The tiniest whine filled with confusion to the brim escaped the raven-haired boy. "OW!" the God growled at the old woman before raising his leg to hop around in pain while you tried your best to contain the laughter bubbling inside you. "Do not come to me for help if you cannot handle a few 'kulaeg, you impatient bog!" Loki's jaw unhinged while he hopped about and you gave the camera the more delightful look.

You: *gasp and beam* never in my life I thought I would see Loki stagger like that. That too by a five hundred-year-old alien lady!! *screeches* I love space! *shimmy your shoulders*

"I didn't even do anything this time?!!" Loki thundered, finally putting his foot on the ground. "Wait," you raised a finger in anticipation and confusion, "this time?" Grandma tapped her stick hard into the rocky ground. "Be thankful it's not a yank in your nethers for kidnapping my Logo last time." Your muted gasp grew wider, and the camera panned in when you stood in the middle of the two. "You kidnapped her Logo?" You whispered with elation. "Your Logo did not want to be kidnapped?" You tried hard to restrain the chortle in your voice before trying to come back to a straight face. The camera panned in on your face to catch you whisper, "I don't even know what a Logo is!" right into the lens. "I feel like there's a lot to unpack here. Grandmama, tell me everything this stupid ass has ever done!" Loki didn't seem to like the idea. "What is your problem, Se'tiri? You hit me even when I don't do anything wrong?! Every! Single! Time!" Se'tiri narrowed her eyes at the God, not letting her little body be intimidated by the six-foot tall creature. "You have one those faces, boy. Ones that are asking to be hit because they do not know what manners are." "Oh, dang," you whisper to the camera and secretly praise this alien grandma's spirit. "Fine, I'll never come here, ever again," Loki huffs, grabbing your hand to leave in a two-second surprise state, "come on, Y/N, let's go." "That's what you said last time you blue seaweed," Se'tiri shouted in her raspy voice, "make sure to remember this time! And take those damned bao-bao I made you and your friends, you giant slug!" Leaving your hand for a moment- that seemed to bring a microsecond of mellow sadness over your face- Loki smoothly turned a one-eighty to go inside the tent and bring with him a bento wrapped in blue fabric, grabbed your hand again and gave a stink eye to the woman. "I am taking these bao-bao with me, you rotten hag! And I will come whenever I please!" "You better come with some fucking bao-bao material or I'll not make more for you!" she yelled. Loki was already walking away with you by his side. "You will make me more because I am the only one who eats these stinky buns!!! Come on Lulu!" he yelled back, making the camera focus on Lulu standing upright, both excited and confused with something thin and long hanging from his mouth before he sucked it in and ran behind you two. The raccoon thing was nowhere to be seen.

The Lounge "You guys are the f***ing nuts!" Sam announced as the camera panned out to show Scott, Vision and Peter sitting on the sofa. Two of them had pouty faces while one was enchanted by the Falcon. A good moment of silence passed with Sam's firm expression before he finally spoke again. "You have to move your hips in a way to not hurt your lower back. And you have to split without hurting your nuts!" Both Scott and Peter winced at the memory and brought their ice packs closer to their crotch. "Now, watch...and learn." Sam gave one quick look to Vision and the AI automatically turned on the music for Sam to manoeuvre his body to the beats with the rigidity of water. And before anyone knew it, he was making a one-eighty with his leg to open it into a perfect split before popping that booty thrice for a perfect finish. The camera panned out to zoom in at the faces of equally bewildered and impressed Steve and Bucky standing at the entrance of the Lounge holding hands. "Should we...ask?" Steve wondered to his partner, his eyes still glued to the man of many talents. "Do we have to?" Bucky added.

Bucky: *in all his seriousness* We have to. I need to learn how to do that perfect split but I will cut my own veins before asking Sam for tutoring me.

Away From the Witches "All the weirdness aside because I know it comes from the insecurity in your past relationships of being not loved enough to trust another person, I have to say you and Grandmama Se'tiri really care about each other." The camera was stuck in one frame- on your head resting on your hand while your gaze was stuck on the God pretending to brood while eating the purple coloured buns the old witch had made for him. A quick glance from him at you from the corner of his eye and he was already turning his eyes towards you to question that softness stuck in your eyes while you looked at him. Not to mention your smile. "Stop looking at me like that," he muttered with his mouth half full. "Fuck you, I won't," you giggled lightly, getting a raised brow from Loki. "How the fuck can someone look so cute while eating? Why are you looking so good while eating?" Loki had to stop chewing and look at you for a few moments in keen observation. Or judgment. Or both. "What did they do to you in there?" It was your turn to sit straight in this weird open buggy floating between two alien rhinos as they languidly strolled over the deserted part of the planet. "They squeezed all that painful shit out of me," you inhaled. "Like I could feel my uterus squeeze and let the walls out from inside me, the blood, the gooey stuff, all of it. It hurt a bit at the beginning like every other time but once Grandamama and her sisters started chanting, it was all gone," you concluded with a smile. "Even though the goo was still coming out of my vagina." Lulu's camera caught the reasonable blankness on Javier and Loki's face before both of them put the buns down and tried their best to blink away the pictures you had so patiently put inside their heads. You, still perched with your head on your palm, smiled at the boys. "Should've left the bun for after the icky bloody part. Is it weird I can still smell the blood? Just like that bloody stench you get when you dump your menstrual cup down the drain during a shower and watch all that blood go down imagining you just murdered someone and are reminiscing the entire thing." Loki looked at the camera with newfound confused horror in his eyes.

Loki: Remind me to never piss her off during her bloody days. *inhales* Also remind me to make Clint and Steve piss her off on her bloody days *smirks and raises his brows suggestively at the camera*

"Oh! And she even gave me candy!" You nearly shout, going for the little backpack and unzipping it take out a blue plastic looking bag which looked like something straight out of your younger sister's newly opened business with much effort given to the packaging and the brand. An outline of a herb adorned the logo while a few imprints of languages unknown to you were written below it. "And I am not sharing it with anyone." Loki scoffed, looking at you while slowly putting the delicious-looking bao-bao in his mouth, making you wrinkle your nose before opening your own collection of fluffy marshmallow-like collection and putting one in your mouth. "Oh dang! It's cheesy!" You babbled through your full mouth, gasping with a sudden revelation. "Ooooh!! And spicy!" Loki chuckled and turned his whole body towards you. "Oh come on now, Y/N. You don't have to pretend to give your little trinkets flavours to tease..." His voice drowned when his sight apparently fell on the packet you were holding while gobbling down your second treat. "This one's minty," you added with a wiggle of your brows and a huge smile on your face. "...me," he barely whispered, his attention only on the packet with his eyes narrowing on the foreign words written over it. The bun resting in Loki's hand dropped into his lap for Lulu to make it disappear within less than a second. Loki's hand came for the packet but your reflexes were too good today to let him lay his claws on it. "Oh you aren't getting any," you gasped at his audacity. "I don't want to ea-" Loki snapped himself and moved his hand towards the packet- "let me see the packet." Silence. "Y/N." Your hand went inside the packet for another snack. "Y/N," he called out sweetly with a hint of caution. You popped the little ball of crunch in your mouth. He leapt halfway towards the packet, his hand reaching and almost grabbing your newfound treasure. "Stay. Away," you command with your eyes. "I just want to see the pack-" he leapt again and this time grabbed your back instead while the snacks were raised away from him. "Really?" "You're not getting any!" Loki was lying over your now. Both of you were grunting and squirming; Loki trying to lock his arms around your waist to push you down while you anchored your free hand on the edge of the floating buggy. "Give me the packet!" He roared. "No!" You growled back and hissed at him without turning around to look at his frustration lines. The God locked his legs around yours, using his one arm to restrain your waist and the other to tickle your armpit long enough to make you howl in a burst of laughter that ended with a blood-curdling sigh when he finally got the packet in his hand. "Aha!" He exclaimed, still not letting you go. "I hate you!" You wiggled inside his hold that didn't seem to work him much. "Why do you have to be so FUCKING strong!!" But Loki had all his attention on the package by now. His glow of victory faded as fast as it came when his eyes went over the print, the shades turning from a subtle shade of confusion to a much denser stroke of fear. "Wha-no...no!" Loki looked at your scowling face cursing him left and right. "How many have you eaten?" "Oh screw you!" "Y/N! How many have you eaten?!!!" All the rage in your pupils melted into full-blown innocent kitten eyes. "A few," you whispered. Loki- his lips parted in question with the nearest star hitting his pale face from the side to let his green eyes glow with the reflection coming from your white tank top- tilted his head to judge you with a raised brow. Your lips parted just like his but in heavy bewilderment of the sorts that one does not usually let out before turning to share a look with a camera.

You: *tilt head* was he always this...poetically beautiful?

You mumbled something under your breath with your eyes darting away from his face. "Y/N." "I said I had some at grandmama's place." A muted yet sophisticated gasp came out of Loki's mouth. "How many exactly?" "....Six or seve-" "We can still fix this-" "-teen?" Any hope bubbling in the God's eyes suddenly evaporated when he looked into a camera with a newfound fear.

Loki: This candy *raises the packet to show to the camera* is a sort of soother. It releases the tension in your muscles and helps in better blood circulation along with improving focus, increasing the stamina and...making everything quite...brighter? *sucks on his teeth* *looks at his feet while still holding the packet in frame* All of this happens when you consume two candies. *camera pans in on the artificial smile on Loki's face as he looks back at the lens* *whispers with a strain in his voice* she's had seventeen.

WAP Boys The flatscreen showed Loki gasping in sheer horror while the mute icon activated right over his disparate shade of horror as compared to your confused one. The same camera shifted from the huge screen towards the group gathered in the lounge, trying to figure out who did it. Scott, Peter and Sam were busy teaching Bucky and Steve while Vision made everyone some fizzy lemonade. Wanda searched for the WAP dance videos online while Natasha sat on the sofa- closest to the screen- making videos of the boys. For a second she revered her eyes from the screen to look at the camera sideways. A fleeting second, a straight face and the single silent entity in the chaos was all it took for the Black Widow to blink at the camera before going back to her phone. "There is no way I can do tha-" Steve was trying his best with his hands raised up to his chest in defeat. "Oh, come on, Cap," Scott begged, "you don't even have to do much. You just wiggle a little and your beautiful bouncy ass will do the rest of the work." Steve started to speak but stopped to give a hyperexcited Scott an expression filled with so many questions. "Word," Sam chimed in from behind Steve before gulping down his share of lemonade as he walked towards the sofa, getting a frown from Steve as a response. "Amen," Bucky announced whilst looking at the camera with a nascent smirk as he sipped his lemonade, at the same time trying to push his hair back. The 'really, Bucky?' look on Steve's face was a sweet bonus to already blushing owner of America's ass. "What the hell is happening?!" The unprecedented surprise in the familiar voice put everyone's metaphorical tails into one collective bushy goosebump. All the cameras shifted to a stunned yet stoic Tony Stark standing by the entrance of the lounge while everyone else tried to calm their heartbeats and look for an explanation.

Scott: I actually thought I was gonna get kicked out and so *shrugs*

"He did that!" Scott blurted out while pointing at the empty loveseat. Tony narrowed his eyes at him and the poor Antman found himself at a loss of words. "We were-" Steve paused for a second to give a quick look at everyone's faces before scratching an itch behind his ear- "learning a...a new dance?" "..." "It's the WAP!" Peter acknowledged with quite the enthusiasm till the wide cautious eyes of three people standing around him made him realise what he had just said.

Scott: *breathing into a paper bag* Oh crap! I am definitely dead today. Stark's gonna kill me for ruining his precious baby!!

"You all-" Tony at everyone in the room- "are learning the WAP while I get the news about a deadly virus taking over the world." "What?" There are muffled gasps and confused looks shared before everyone gets serious.

"It's a flu. The scientists are calling it Covid. Dr Cho, Bruce and Shuri are working on the cure," "Who's behind this?" Steve's persona did a complete one-eighty. "Hydra?" "The Neo-Nazis?" "Oh! Illuminati?" "Apparently, it has originated from 'bats'. The Wakandans have a lead on the 'bats'." "Okay, everyone," Steve announced, "let's suit up!" "Woah! Woah-ho-hooo!" The camera panned in on Tony's posture that clearly said 'nobody's going anywhere'. "Where do you think you're going?" Silence. Everyone looked at Steve for an answer. "To find the root of this virus." Tony took a step forward, his head already held high as usual. "Not before I win the WAP." Scott's jaw dropped to the floor, him and the camera looking at each other at the same instant. On the other side, Natasha- lying on the sofa- scrolled through her phone. "Okoye has already taken care of the 'root cause', hasn't she?" she nudged Tony. He didn't answer that. For a few seconds. "Doesn't matter. I can still wipe the floor with his ass. With all your asses." "Okay okay okay okay okay-" Sam nodded, enjoying the playful tension between the boys. "It's on. It is on!" The camera shifted to Natasha, who was still sprawled upon the sofa, smirking at her phone. "Perfect timing," she commented with a wink before opening her phone's camera to start recording.

In the alien Buggy "IIIII Loooove you BABAYYYYY. And if it's quite ALRIGHT!! I neeeed you BABAYYYY to warm these lonely NIGHTS!!!! OH PRETTY BA-" The singing continued in the background while Loki sat defeated on the floating vehicle, focusing on anything but that singing. His lips ran in a thin line, really telling the spectator the limit of his patience. The tension was boiling in his muscles and yet he did not move an inch, just waiting patiently. "Oh my God Loki?" You sat up in a daze behind him, your mouth agape with disappointed horror. "We have been together all this time but you got your hair conditioned! And not mine?!!" Loki's palm tried its best to rub some of his own disappointment off his face. "I thought we were best friends," you whimpered with betrayal in your already watering eyes. The camera focused on Loki shifting as he went for his bag to take out a bottle of water and a small green sachet. His eyes were on the camera when he asserted ever so sweetly, "of course, we are friends, Y/N. And I'll tell you where I got my hair conditioned-" he opened the sachet and mixed the herb-like contents in the water- "but first you need to drink some water." The camera panned out to show you running on the rough terrain away from the alien buggy- while Loki kept talking to himself- hopping in excitement at intervals.  "It will hydrate you and flush out those undesirable dru-" The d-word hung in the air when Loki found the space behind him empty. "Y/N?" He questioned in a tender tone, quite probably wondering you were hiding somewhere. The second time your name came out in urgency when he looked at Javier and Lulu sitting there in confusion. The third time he hopped down the moving vehicle- which, to be fair, moved at a turtle's pace- and looked underneath the levitating body. There was no fourth time. He just looked at Javier and Lulu, who turned to look in the direction you had dashed in. "Why didn't you stop her?!" Loki was restraining the anger so hard. "Oh, what do you mean neither of you can speak!!" By this time, Loki's heart was in his mouth, he was sweating and his breaths were shallow. Javier whistled at the rhino-like aliens pulling their buddy to stop. Getting down, he set his camera to Loki's side profile, conscious to maintain a safe distance from an untethered God. Licking his lips, he shut his mouth and took one deep breath with his eyes closed. The nearest star helped with its bright rays to let the audience know the clench of his jaw was an intense one. Opening his eyes, there was only one emotion that was visible on his entire being. "Fuck."

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