TAZ Steeplechase ep 35
Hey, uh, hey Krystak with a K?? How you doing, bud???
“Hey, Dad, this makes up for the 1 you rolled in Ethersea”
Montrose is such a strange little dude. What a guy.
“Hm. A nice metaphor, but if a saw came out and cut up my friend Charles, I would probably chuck it out.”
“I object, your honor.” “To what?” “To being boiled down to my basic components?”
“InnerJew”
“EnerGoo: The Energy Goo”
“Beef removes his shirt.” “Oh wow.” “Yeah, it’s pretty nice. Like, ka-chow.”
BEEF THINKS OF THEM AS FRIENDS AND CARES ABOUT THEM
“Beautiful and touching! But are the elders swayed!”
“I flex a little bit too” “Excellent! They’re loving it!”
“Demonstrate altruism!”
“We have two wigs between the three of us, so we just stack the wigs on top of Emerich.”
“An ardvarcoyote squattles over to you.”
I love this show so much
I see Greg the emperor puma is a real guys guy. You know? Guys who are more guys than him.
I love Emerich XD
Emerich is officially equally as persuasive as Montrose
“Mask man!” “Yes?” “What do you have to say for yourself?”
MONTROSE LORE THAT MIGHT BE LIES???
Las Vegas, Nevada. In a middle school social studies class.
Montrose is such a liar, no way any of this is true.
I need Montrose too fail his sway roll on this
“Stop moving the woodimal.” “It’s listening.”
The Montrose lore is that Montrose is a liar who likes movies :thumbs up: Love him for it.
“That same hunger and boredom exists within all of us.”
“I instead appeal to your wrath.”
This show is WILD and I LOVE it
“All of them joining together. Not all. That would be wild.”
loving this music
“Let’s call him.......uhhhhh Fred. What was the other one?” “Meanie.” “Let’s call this one Jerky.”
Montrose comes to Emerich’s defense!
“Fast like a falcon. Spiky like a pangolin. It’s the perfect weapon.”
“The biggest baddest one. In fact, he’s named Worstie.”
“Yeah, you’re doing judo at this robot is the problem.”
Is that permanent??? The two-tusks for a hand??
I feel very strongly that that was an Emerich hardlight
YEAH BAYBEEE
YEAH BAYBEEEEEE EMERIL’S SPECIAL PROJECT CALLED IT
GOD I love this show so much
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so when i listened to taz ethersea, i listened to the first 17 episodes, fell off the wagon for a while, and then listened to the rest all at once over like a week.
this means, that in the finale when *SPOILERS* devo says his real name is damien cern, my immediate reaction was “fuck, i really should know who that is.”
so i went back. and I looked. and I was still confused. and i looked harder. and i took notes. and i am less confused, but now i have a true pepe sylvia conspiracy theory board. which i will share.
here is a timeline of What We Know About The Cerns, complete with all my various conspiracy theories. spoilers, obvs, for the whole series
Timeline
Hominine traveling performance troupe comes to beach
Benevolence comes to beach
Declan’s eldest son, Tolliver (98% certain that it’s him), goes missing. (prologue V: The Weight of History)
He has two other sons. If Amber’s account of Tolliver being “Declan Cern’s little boy” is taken literally, Tolliver can’t be older than 12 or so, and is likely under 10 (little).
We have no indication of another parent in the picture, and no indication of whether the kids are adopted (from the traveling troupe) or not.
The Storm - we go under the sea. (prologue V: The Weight of History)
2 years later - Devo is born!
Was supposedly raised “with” the Church and his mom, who was a member of the traveling performance troupe (TTAZZ Ethersea Wrap-up)
important, Declan Cern is never mentioned when discussing Devo’s backstory. The implication is that he is/was uninvolved in Devo’s life, and judging by his 0 voiced lines in the podcast it is possible that he doesn’t know Devo is his son OR does not recognize him as his son (legally or just by face)
Some Point before age 6 or 7 - name is changed from Damien to Devotion, this is when the ‘fulfill your destiny’ stuff starts (Episode 25, Cambria’s Call pt 4)
age 7 - mom “disappears”, the Church and more specifically the Hand of Guidance takes over his care (TTAZZ Ethersea Wrap-up)
So the scene with the lights + the hand of guidance in ep. 25 (Travis says Devo was “6 or 7″) would’ve been right around the time his fucking mom disappeared, Christ, guidance.
Some point (unknown, could’ve been before now) Brother Seldom leaves the church
Some point (slightly more known- 7-22) Devo hears Brother Seldom’s broadcast and is inspired to leave the parish
23 - he leaves!
Beginning of true podcast time
When Devo asks Felix for a line of credit (Episode 6, interlude 1), this happens:
Devo: And along with this, if I die, before I am able to pay you back, you can take this—
Travis: And Devo writes out a note.
Devo: To the Cern family. And they will pay my debt, no questions asked.
I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS TO ASK TRAVIS
The ONLY direct interaction I can find with Declan Cern is when they go before the Ballasters in the interlude when the Sallow comes (Episode 22)
He doesn’t say a fuckin word. He just sits in his Ballaster of Transit chair and watches. Travis recognizes him and asks about him - we don’t know if Devo recognizes him. Devo doesn’t act particularly out of character in the trial, at least as far as I can tell so maybe no?
We’re assuming when Hermine gets up and leads them all off, Declan goes back to whatever he was doing, as none of the other Ballasters follow them. He literally sits there and says nothing, even as Kodeira vouches for them and looks to Guidance and Aloyicius Supreme for confirmation, but not Declan
Doylist explanation - Griffin forgot he was there after describing him bc he’s #irrelevant
Watsonian explanation - this man is sinking into the floor. Or Kodeira has no reason to think that Declan knows anyone in the party, which is also VERY INTERESTING
He’s “in his 70s” so he was 47-57 when Devo was born, 45-55 on the beach. Either he aged real bad or Travis has a galaxy brain take on what “charismatic young man” (how he’s described in a quiet year V) can mean.
In the Menagerie, Devo meets a spectral, hologram-ish being that confirms themselves to be the Auctioneer and says he can call them Tolliver. They mostly discuss ethics and environmentalism and how to not be an asshole. (Ep. 24-25, The Menagerie parts 4-5)
Tolliver uses he/him pronouns from this point forward - the Auctioneer used they/them.
He is described as young man in his early 30s with three scars on his face, one of which goes over his eye which no longer works.
This age lines up with Devo’s if Tolliver is the eldest
At the end of the Menagerie mission Amber recalls that Tolliver was the name of “Declan Cern’s little boy” (Ep 25, The Menagerie Pt 5)
After Devo splits the timeline (Ep. 44 “Finale”), Tolliver shows up and basically says “hey what the fuck??? What the fuck did you do?? Even I don’t know what you did and I’m magic”
He also claims himself to be the “embodiment of the will of magic”
Devo reveals both his “real name”- Damien Cern - and his plan to kill Benevolence.
The former (Devo = Damien Cern) Tolliver scoffs at
Devo: Or I could just go by my real name, if you would prefer. And I could just be Damien Cern.
Tolliver: [scoffs]
Griffin: He smiles when you say that, and he says...
Tolliver: You’ve really got layers, don’t you?”
The latter (killing Benevolence) really freaks him out
Griffin: Tolliver, even in this moment where he has admitted that he doesn’t know as much as he’s letting on, still seems pretty uh... cocky. When you say that, he... is taken aback. And then he just kind of like looks around the room in a
panic, like he’s trying to think his way through it. And he says...
Tolliver: [shaken] Wow, you’ve... You’ve really got layers, um... Hm. Okay. I can help you with that. And in exchange, maybe you can help me too. Because... I... I am pretty powerful, but I am only doing what I am called to do. I’m acting on instinct, doing what I’m supposed to do, and you were not supposed to call out to the family of Benefactor Orlene, but you did.
Devo: Mm-hmm.
Tolliver: And in doing so, you defied fate itself, and that makes you very, very interesting!
So. That’s the timeline.
OBSERVATIONS:
We know that Devo is a Cern.
We know that his mother was in his life until he was 7, and that she raised him “with” the Church, until she disappeared and the Church took over completely.
We know that he is the child of one of the traveling performers from Hominine, and he was “adopted by the Church” (TTAZZ)
We know that the only Cern mentioned on the show is Declan Cern, and his three sons, the eldest of which went missing.
The simplest answer is that his mother was one of the traveling performers, and his father was Declan Cern. These are the assumptions we will be operating under.
My nitpicky autistic ass absolutely has to point out several technicalities that probably do not matter
We don’t know for certain that his mother was one of the traveling performers. The two facts are mentioned separately.
Declan Cern could’ve been one of the traveling performers who retired and became a council member. He isn’t mentioned by name until Prologue V. It’s definitely not the most likely thing, but it is possible.
the performer, his mother, and Declan Cern could’ve all been separate people, with his mother being a church member related to Declan Cern in some way who adopted him from the performer/troupe
We don’t know for certain that Devo is Declan Cern’s son. We just know that he is a member of the Cern family - he could be a nephew, a cousin, etc.
We don’t know for certain that Devo’s mother and Declan Cern were romantically/sexually involved in any way. Again, she could’ve just been a church member that adopted him, or she could be a sister/relative of Declan Cern’s.
When Devo talks about his break with the church, he does not mention Declan - his focus is on Guidance, Orlean, and other current church members. So I don’t think the rift b/w him and Declan was caused by Devo’s break with the parish
Important to remember: when talking about his upbringing, Devo NEVER mentions having friends his own age. He emphasizes over and over how isolated and alone he felt. Would this have been the case if his brothers were there? Were any of the other Cerns present in Devo’s life at all?
potential answer - Devo emphasizes the isolation because that’s how he felt but there might have been other kids or his brothers around just not easily accessible to him as friends or family.
Devo was isolated by Guidance early on to be groomed into taking her place - nothing the Cerns could’ve done, assuming they’d want to do anything, would have stopped The Hand Of Guidance from getting what she wants - she’s consistently described as Incredibly Powerful. This is the mostly likely answer I think.
QUESTIONS
Why was Declan Cern not a prominent figure in Devo’s upbringing?
What happened to the other sons? Were they ever in Devo’s life?
To what degree do the Cerns know that Devo is a Cern? To what degree does the Church know?
How big is the Cern family? Is it just Declan and his sons?
Why was the Church raising Devo with his mother rather than Declan? What was The Church’s role in Devo’s upbringing before his mom died compared to after?
What happened that made the Church adopt him when his mother disappeared, instead of his next of kin? Would his mother have approved of it?
Why were his mother and father separated? Were they? To what extent? For what reason?
Did the other two sons have a parent figure other than Declan before he met Devo’s mom? What happened to them?
Why did his mother disappear? Was it intentional on her part? Did the Church or Guidance have something to do with it? Is she dead? If not, where did she go?? It’s not like it’s a big city, or like there’s anywhere else to go
Maybe she took a ship and just went for it. Idk. Maybe she went looking for the Ark Fleet - if the Hominine traveling theater troupe picked up members as it traveled she could’ve conceivably joined it from somewhere other than Hominine. Perhaps……..France? (my crack theory is that Devo got his accent from his mother)
Maybe Guidance took her out of the picture some other way. Maybe she was scared of something/someone. We’ll probably never know, but doesn’t hurt to theorize. She also could’ve fallen off a cliff or something.
THEORIES
My initial thought was that Declan could’ve cheated on his existing partner who he had the initial three sons with, by sleeping with one of the performing troupe members, so when they get pregnant it has to be kept quiet bc he’s a Public Figure, and he’s had enough of the public eye after Tolliver went missing, right?
So they’re separated and decide that she will raise Devo at the Church and he’ll send child support (notice Devo saying ‘the Cern family will pay it [the debt] no questions asked’ - this corroborates that!) but something mysteriously happens to her, leaving the way clear and unimpeded for the Hand of Guidance to groom Devo into the perfect successor.
His mother could’ve told him he was a Cern before her disappearance, and the child support kept coming in. I imagine the Hand of Guidance would’ve wanted to use the lux herself, maybe she framed it as funding his education, so of course it would go to her, she was his education.
I do feel like Guidance would try to steer Devo away from checking on his Cern family though for cult reasons.
It is physically impossible for his other sons to also be children of this traveling performance troupe member unless he adopted a whole bunch of orphans they conveniently had around.
Unless (unless)
Both the performing troupe and Declan are Hominine. What if the Cern family was living in Hominine, and Declan heard the call, but the mom didn’t? They could’ve had a big blowout fight about it, ending with her joining the performance troupe and him taking the kids to the beach.
Then, when the rest of the troupe realized hey fuck there’s nowhere to go they come to the beach, Declan and the mom reunite and go under together, then 2 years later have Devo
It also lays the groundwork for why Devo might have been raised on his own - if they had marital problems and separated again, the older kids might choose to go with their dad, while baby Devo stays with mom.
Also, Declan’s kinda old and this is a hard world. Maybe he was too caught up in work (canonically he’s a “nose to the grindstone” kind of guy) to take care of a baby so that fell to Devos mom, who also needed to parent two other kids so she enlisted the church to help.
That might also explain why Devo didn’t see much of his brothers! If the Church was doing childcare, it could’ve been separated by age group, so the older kids might be off with Brother Seldom or whatever other group they have while Devo stayed at the Church with the other little kids.
Also if they’re staying in a bathysphere…three kids two parents is a big family is all. Maybe the mom stayed at the Church with Devo some nights when it got too crowded, and that’s how it started. Then more and more often, the Hand of Guidance helps out, seemingly taking on more responsibility out of the goodness of her heart, while actually taking over more and more of his upbringing, grooming him to be her successor because she’s noticed his gifts at this point.
Alternately, polyamory is always an option. Maybe Declan Cern has (or had) multiple partners who aren’t really involved in each other’s lives.
Alternately, Declan Cern could’ve been a single dad before they even set foot on that beach.
Alternately, Declan wasn’t involved in the pregnancy - he just adopted the son of a traveling performer.
Where the mom fits in here is...tricky. Maybe she had a kid she wasn’t able to take care of, and Declan offered to adopt him, then had him grow up in the church, where Guidance got her greedy little hands on him, and the mom could be semi-involved.
Or whatever partner Declan had his other kids with died/divorced him and he fell in love Devo’s mom. Or again, polyamory, or single dad.
If Devo’s age is real, Declan either adopted Devo post-Storm, or fathered him post-Storm.
or. We know Devo is a Cern - it is not explicit that Declan is his father. Does Declan have any other family in Founder’s Wake? Lord only knows.
If this wasn’t a long enough post for you, I put all the transcripts i cited below (thank u tazscripts they do have official transcripts at maximum fun but some episodes don’t and they always wind up being the ones I need)
TTAZZ Ethersea Wrap Up
https://maximumfun.org/transcripts/adventure-zone/transcript-the-the-adventure-zone-zone-ethersea-wrap-up/
the main thing from this one is:
“Travis:...I don’t know if it was ever clear, Devo’s mom was with him for like seven years at the Church, and then one day disappeared, and the rest of the time raised by the Church alone.” (TTAZZ Ethersea Wrap-up)
ily travis but this is in fact not particularly clear
Episode 44 - finale
https://maximumfun.org/transcripts/adventure-zone/transcript-the-adventure-zone-ethersea-episode-44/
Episode 34, The Menagerie pt 4
https://maximumfun.org/transcripts/adventure-zone/transcript-the-adventure-zone-ethersea-episode-34/
Episode 35, The Menagerie pt 5
https://maximumfun.org/transcripts/adventure-zone/transcript-the-adventure-zone-ethersea-episode-35/
Episode 36, The Menagerie pt 6
there isn’t. a transcript. for this. on maxfun or tazscripts. i had to go in and write it down myself. this is the podcast link, what it said and the approx. timestamp
https://maximumfun.org/episodes/adventure-zone/the-adventure-zone-ethersea-episode-36/
(1:18:58- 1:19:40)
Devo: “…It was pretty shitty, there was a dude there named Tolliver, I don’t know if that’s his real name, who was the Auctioneer that we dealt with before, he fucking sucked
Griffin: Hey Amber? Roll uh, Roll a history check.
Justin: Alright…22
Griffin: That name rings a bell for you, because you have only known one Tolliver in your, in your long life, it’s a name you’ve not heard in a long time, but…it hits you, all of a sudden, that the only Tolliver you’ve ever known, the only person that ever had that name, was Declan Cern’s little boy.”
Episode 25 Cambria’s Call pt 4 (thank u tazscripts)
https://href.li/?https://docs.google.com/document/u/2/d/e/2PACX-1vSqE8hk7nt9dpISprv8L6WkxWnZ-H2By3XaOeXqRxDSLzExGhtwa6k0QhFgiYFQUzmoG9DNlHBEE3aC/pub
Episode 22 (interlude 3 (b/w Abyssal Auction and Cambria’s Call))
https://maximumfun.org/transcripts/adventure-zone/transcript-the-adventure-zone-ethersea-episode-22/
Ep. 6 (interlude 1 (b/w The Gallery Job and The Infinite Clam))
https://maximumfun.org/transcripts/adventure-zone/transcript-the-adventure-zone-ethersea-episode-6/
prologue V: The Weight of History
https://maximumfun.org/transcripts/adventure-zone/transcript-the-adventure-zone-ethersea-prologue-v-the-weight-of-history/
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