#entry 3

[fair-fae]

FFxivWrite23 Entry #3: The Rising

FFxivWrite 2023 FFxivWrite23 Masterpost Prompt #3: (you pick!)

Each time summer flees And the air chills, I recall A hero once lost

And a bonus haiku from my husband with my aid: Eorzea, wow This place is pretty sick, bro I'm going to log

#ffxivwrite2023 #ffxivwrite23 #ffxivwrite #ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #ff14 #ffxiv writing #faye covington #writing prompt #writing challenge #entry 3 #prompt 3 #the rising #faye #covington #writing #my writing #poem #poetry #haiku

[ask-richard-jackdaw]

Dear Ghost (not for long!) Journal,

I have been at the nearest to the castle source of ancient magic practically every night this past week: experimenting, timing how long I (or parts of my body) can stay in a solid state. One cannot be certain of anything when dealing with magic that hasn't really been used for centuries. But at least I know this: the more human I become, the faster I tire out. I do not think I can stay alive for more than a day without it seriously affecting me even in my ghost form. The most I can do consistently — have my hands (for writing letters) for half a way every day and then maaaybe being full Richard for almost a day once a week (but my body requires sleep as well so I will have to account for that).

I've made some interesting discoveries as well. At some point I accidentally got a paper cut from flipping the pages of my notebook, and guess what: when I turned into my ghostly form later on — the cut was still there! I have used my hands in their corporal state the most so it was rather surprising a few days later to see that my finger started healing! Does it mean that when I am human my body ages as well? Do I require food? Does it mean that there is a possibility of permanent death for me if I die in my human form? I am not sure I want to find this one out but I know some ghosts that would gladly prefer to die twice just to finally move on from this world.

Ah, and if you were curious, during the day I was mostly... Working, really. Answering letter — yes, that too. But I've been running little errands in Hogsmeade as well: I found a shopkeeper willing to lend me his broom for a few days in the middle of the week if I do some light work for him around the shop. It is a great opportunity since now I can try to be a real human being again every Thursday and not waste an entire day getting to the castle like I did last week...

Tomorrow I will try to turn fully corporal again and hang out with people! This is exciting! I didn't get a chance to eat last time so I've been craving some pumpkin pasties this whole week!

#Richard Jackdaw #Hogwarts Legacy rp #Hogwarts Legacy #Entry 3 #Ghost Journal #The Real Boy Thursday #tw: death #[Ooc: once again I do not truly wish to bring Richard back from the dead] #[He is a tragic character] #[I create limitations for him on purpose] #[But he is comforting and I do want to roleplay different possibilities and universes and timelines with him] #[So it is just something fun for me] #[Feel free to talk to him in any way shape or form that you wish] #[I am in a bit of an rp burnout at the moment so things are going slow] #Real Boy Thursday

[ask-haunted-hornets]

tim,, what's it like being haunted?

Entry #3

It's.. less than favourable, to say the least. I don't think Brian likes me very much, and I can understand why. He doesn't talk to me.

Jay is pretty nice. Without a doubt the easiest to deal with. Not that I'm saying Brian is tedious, but it's hard not really being able to speak to him like I used to.

Alex is.. well, something, I guess.

Sorry, im getting off-track. What was the question? ..Right. I'd rather not be haunted by dead people. I thought.. I thought everything would get better. I thought it was all over. But they're still here.

At least the.. thing is gone.

#Entry 3 #Marble Hornets #Marble Hornets ask blog #Ask blog #Tim Wright #Haunted AU

[adventuresofhoodyplush]

lil guy! hey!

HELLO :)

#aohp comments #marble hornets #ask blog #entry 3

[yellow-likethesun]

A voice within me.

I've always asked people, do you have a voice in your head? Most of the time, they say yes but I have a hard time believing that's the case.

They always said that it talked to them like a familiar friend they can rely on, but do they really hear everything?

Do they hear the quiet whispers and mutters that constantly distracts you from doing mundane tasks?

Do they hear their voice speak over a friend or coworker you're talking to? Making sentences sound so jumbled and muddled that you asked them to repeat, just to cut them off halfway.

Do they hear the confusion in the voice's tone after you talked to them for an hour, trying to recall what you needed to do and how to even begin? I don't believe so.

It's like each voice has a script, well prepared and clean. Yet mine doesn't. It stumbles over their words, panicking and trying to fix themselves to no avail.

We are both struggling, but they can only watch as I reap the consequences of how incapable they are in guiding me.

They make me distracted, insecure, and too restless. No matter how sorry they were, how loud they apologized—nothing would stop me from wearing those earplugs, drowning out all the meaningless filler words and stutters.

It's quiet. And I've taken my pills.

9-27-23

#connyshibawrites #entry 3 #writing #poem #poetry #creative writing #self experience #rant #vent #neurodivergent

[jc3dotmov]

Movie Diary:

Entry #3

RAGING BULL (1980) dir. Martin Scorsese

4K restoration for Marty’s 80th. HBD 🐐.

#raging bull #martin scorsese #scorsese #robert deniro #joe pesci #frank vincent #movie diary #entry 3 #criterion #criterion collection #4K restoration #1980

[the-traveller-through]

There is quite an undue importance placed on being the first of anything. Being first in competitions, being first in rankings, being the first to do something. Therefore, as logic follows, the first companion I write about should be the most significant, the most influential, the one I have spent the most time with. Clearly, I will write about the most important one first, right?

The assumption is presumptuous. I write about people; they influence me in different ways. Naming any one of them the most important would be tantamount to dismissing the rest. 

Still, I have to start my recounts sooner than later, and picking a companion dearer to me than some others may help with my tale. It may convince you to continue reading, at any rate. 

That settles it. I will begin with Shifter. 

--

I have met many companions on my travels, in and out of linear time, but Shifter was undoubtedly one of the first, and our meeting was more lighthearted than most.

At the time, I had still been a novice traveller. I had been reckless; I was running away. From who or what, I no longer remember, but a sudden urge to flee had descended onto me; I ran across the galaxy, stars under my childlike feet; to the first planet I saw between lightyears that had the promise of life. 

The next part is embarrassing to recount as an experienced traveller. But at that time, an experienced traveller I was not. 

I tripped. I fell. And I plummeted into the young planet’s atmosphere as a shooting star. 

Where exactly I ended up, I did not know. What I did know was that for a couple of hours, I lay in the grass I had landed in, blinking away the flashing lights behind my eyelids - because for all of my kind’s invulnerabilities, their downside is that we have to grow into them - and I waited for my discomfort to subside. 

After a few moments, there was a shift in the clearing - a brief movement. I lifted my head from the indent I had made in the ground and looked up. 

A black panther, easily the largest I had ever seen, was looming over me, with black and white irises that seemed to bore straight into my existence.

What I did next, I am not proud of. I may have yelped. I attempted to move back, forgetting that I was still lying down in a shallow crater of my own making, which only resulted in me tripping and falling in my attempts to make up. The panther watched my every movement before it let out what sounded like an amused growl and stepped back. 

And there, before my eyes, the large black panther stood and shrunk, his glorious pelt melding into smooth muscle, tail disappearing into nothingness, and bone cracked and shifted into bipedal stances - only those interesting eyes staying the same, black and white, monochrome - until what stood in front of me looked, for all intents and purposes, like a human. A dark-skinned, youthful human with black hair, his eyes the only indication that he was anything but. 

He took one look at me and laughed. “It’s you.” 

I was confused. He spoke like he had recognised me already. 

“Your name - you told me.” He bent down slightly to be at my height, his voice deep and slightly rough. “You visited me when I was a child and gave me my name. You were also nice enough to tell me you might crash-land as a kid in the future. So you don’t remember me, right?” 

I shook my head no. 

“Well, we should probably get the introduction out of the way.” He held out a hand to me, and I grasped it, registering the strength in it as he pulled me up. “My name is Shifter. It’s nice to meet you, Traveller.”

-- 

His world was beautiful. It resembled a more primitive but fantastical version of what is the Medieval age in your world; what your world might have looked like, perhaps, if nonhumans were to inhabit it and bring with them their own peculiar little sorts of magic. In his world, gods walked on the earth like their worshippers did, and their magic ran freely, with abandon. Shifter was one of the products of godly magic gone wrong, a fragment of what had happened after the Goddess of the Wild had passed on and split into two. It had made him, given him the power to shift into whatever animal he desired, and it had given him a twin sister; a pseudo-goddess of her own who held dominion over the Hunt the same way Shifter represented the animals in the Wild. 

I spent what was three months to him on his world; he brought me into the forest where he lived, showed me every inch of it, and bade me make acquaintance of its residents. They all waved to me with a familiarity I did not share, and when I asked Shifter he looked at me with a glitter of amusement in his mismatched eyes.

“Of course.” He snorted. “They love you. You’ve visited before, remember?” 

I did not. I told him so, very seriously, but he just gave me an indulgent smile.

This is not Shifter’s first memory of me - that comes later, much later in my travels, after I mastered the skill of walking through not only worlds but also against time itself. 

This, however, is my first memory of him. 

There is not yet a word in the English language to describe the feeling of metamorphosis, of being ever-changing, being moulded and influenced and added to thanks to your own experiences and memories and environment.

There is a word for it, in his; he told it to me later, in a quiet whisper, and confessed that in the future when I revisited him again I would give him that word as a name. 

My memories of the time I spent with Shifter then are mundane, but I remember leaving his world with a heavy heart and a longing to return someday. I had always understood before that I would change someone, perhaps multiple someones; it was expected. Someone cannot travel through worlds and space and expect to pass through unknown by all. But to see the impact of it reflected in front of me, in a single being, knowing that I would return someday to Shifter when he was a child and bestow upon him a true name that he would carry for the rest of his life - 

It truly is beautiful, how much a single person can shape you. We are all, in part, what other people make of us. 

#entry #entry 3 #Shifter #the traveller through... #my friends

[sorrelssurvivalendventure]

Entry 3.2

Welp I just lost a bee I'm not sure I can replace. Ah well! C'est la vie! And certainly c'est not la bee!

[ID: Minecraft screenshot of an angry bee imprisoned in azalea leaves. End ID]

#sorrelposting #the grand endventure #entry 3

[shsl-baby]

[Tape Begins.]

Yuu-kun:

Keiko agreed to guard this when I'm not using it, and promised not to listen to anything, so I guess I'm in the clear.

... I still don't know what to talk about.

I don't get why he wants me to talk about stuff. I thought he didn't want me to bring up Junko anymore, but then he asks me a bunch of questions, and to answer them I would have to bring her up!

This is fucking stupid. He's fucking stupid.

[Tape Ends.]

#ic #yuu kun's audio diary #entry 3

[buytheticket]

i moved AND had my meta consult 

i had my consult on 6/22 and have been wanting to write about it but i haven’t had a chance to sit and really collect my thoughts since i had to hustle on my move (moved in with my bf, it’s been really wonderful but that’s for another post)

read more for my detailed experience with the consult

my surgeon (dr Purohit) practices out of mount sinai so i had to go down to the city. it was an all day event- the train time i was able to get and the time of the appointment meant that i needed to take off work. my boyfriend and i took the train down to nyc. i had a bit of a sour start because my time anxiety kicked in and i was afraid we’d miss the train but we had plenty of time and my bf was really reassuring and i felt immediatly better as soon as we pulled into the station’s parking lot

 it was a really nice ride i really enjoy taking the train. the route goes right along the hudson river. saw so many bald eagles, herons, and cranes that i lost count! also got super stoned and relaxed on the ride down

i also took the time (the trip was just under 3 hours) to review the questions i had for the surgeon (i need to transcribe them, i wrote down a lot) to make sure i covered everything i could possibly think of

we got into the city around 11 and went straight to a diner since we didnt get a chance to eat before we left. it was pretty good! we had some time to kill before the appointment so we took the subway to greenwich village because i thought it’d be interesting to check out where stonewall is since neither of us had been. i’d never been to that area of manhatten so walking around the area was cool (ended up seeing a lot since we kept getting turned around the whole trip lol) stonewall inn was very unassuming as i had heard but it was also cool just to see it in person once. i was kinda hoping for a more indepth idk monument? i think i should just find a queer history museum. there’s gotta be one lol

we didn’t stay long since i had to take a piss and it was impossible to find a bathroom so we decided to head up to the dr’s office (ended up finding one in a subway station and a guard had to buzz me in and the stall was like something out of a movie lol)

as we got closer to the office and appointment time i started getting more and more anxious and irritable. i also skipped my adderall and my patience level plummets and i’m more susceptible to moodiness if something is stressful or challenging to me so it was kinda a double whammy.

my bf was such a angel though- i was getting stressed out trying to navigate so he took over and guided us and we had a good talk before my appointment about why i was feeling so moody and that helped too.

on the walk over to the office i got incredibly anxious. like the worst i’d been in a long, long time. meeting a new medical professional always gives me anxiety especially when it’s for transition related care. plus like hearing about some negative experiences with some staff and just like the general state of the world i was pretty much a walking wreck

we got lost going into the office and wound up in an apartment building. very funny in retrospect but i was like pissed off and having a melt down! my bf was very kind and helpful and we made it to the office (it was one door over but the office and apartment shared a street number. confusing!) 

i checked in and we sat down and my bf held my hand and helped keep me calm. i had been so worried that they would turn me away and cancel my appointment! a few days before i got a call from the office saying that my insurance was out of network. i had brought this up when i scheduled and sent over what my insurance needed for prior authorization so someone fucked up and for once it wasn’t me lol

they called me back and i hopped up on the table. dr purohit’s fellow came in with a nurse who was taking notes i think. i think he was from eastern europe based on his name and accent and he was learning how to do metas! he asked me some questions and i threw a ton of mine at him lol but he answered them all!

or tried to lol when i said i want to keep at least an ovary he was confused why and my bf helped explain that us trans folk might not always have access to t because of the way of things rn and that was a pretty interesting experience! i hope it was a teaching moment. i think dr’s should really be in step with current events and be advocates, know what their patients have to deal with day to day and truly strive to be an ally  

dr purohit came in after a bit (he was wrapping up another appoint which i didnt mind at all! i feel it means he makes sure everything is covered) and wow! i really like him and he made me feel so at ease and it was incredibly reassuring. i knew right away that he was gonna do everything to get as close to my needs as possible

i gave him a run down of what i wanted (simple release, mons resection, no ul/v-ectomy/scrotoplasty) and we had like a real convo!

then i had to drop my drawers so he could see what he was working with. this was my first time having to show my cock n balls to a medical professional. really wasnt bad at all! very professional touch. but like the fellow was observing and the dr was going over my configuration with him. i have “substantial growth” of my clit

like i have a medically certified hog, 100% usda grade a beef, baby! pretty sure i gave my bf some kind of shit eating expression when i heard the dr say that. like...it was very affirming tbh!

it was very quick and after i pulled my pants up we jumped into an overview of the meta process. he broke down all my possible options and went over everything in detail and explained possible pros and cons and reasonings for each option/his technique. my bf took notes and i will try and transcribe them. i think it’s very useful info for anyone seeking a meta- there are so many different options! you really can pick and choose what you want (so long as your ok with risks. like a ul with no v-ectomy has like a 50% to 70% rate of fistula development. the body is weird!)

we also went over what the procedure would be like and what i should do to prep. he gave me a “poor man’s pump” ( i said it was DIY! very punk rock) - a 50ml syringe that he said to saw the tip off and use the plunger to create the seal (i’ll take a pic [just the pump], easier to show than tell). never thought i’d be pumping my dick but it’s dr’s orders!

he even called the gyno (dr tran) who wll be doing my hysto to ask about her opinion  on me keeping an ovary and she said it def was a good option so i will keep one (the one opposite of the one my bf kept lol) i was also worried about vagina prolapse if i get my cervix removed but she said the risk was very very low (i’ve also been doing pelvic floor exercises to ease my mind lol). she was nice to talk with too and i’m looking forward to meeting her in person

but yea it was really great to meet dr purohit and it was really reassuring to do my consult and i felt so much better after

we wrapped up with him and the patient liaison came in and she gave us a run down of the next steps. i had a letter from my pcp and my therapist recommending me for the procedure. i still need to do thru their psych and social worker and md...she took my letters though and acknowledge that the process was silly and frustrating  (my therapist says the hospital prob does this to get more money from insurance companies lmao the gall of these fuckers)

i’m in touch with their trans clinic and playing phone tag to get the appointments set up. i can do the social worker appoint over the internet but i need to see the md and the psych in person plus a pre-op appointment with the dr. hopefully i can get the psych and md appointments in one day. i’ll also need to stay in the city for at least a week post-op. i have my fingers crossed my insurance coverage will go smooth (my copay would be $75....) so i can budget for a nice room with a kitchenette.

we got outta the office and took a sec to like gather our thoughts! i wasn’t expecting it to be so emotional but i was getting choked up throughout the rest of the evening and ended up taking the following day off work; i was exhausted

(i got my other appointments set up but i had this sitting in my drafts so i’ll end this one here and do another post for all that) 

#meta process #ftm #entry 3 #trans observations and thoughts

[bitter-shy]

Dear Diary,

First day of school did not go as planned. Shit.

#dear diary #entry 3 #??????? tumblr #quotes #spilled ink #creative writing #tumblr

[fair-fae]

FFxivWrite22 Entry #3: Temper

FFxivWrite 2022 Prompt #3: Temper “Get back here! Stop running away! Why are you acting so strange?” “You’re the one who’s acting weird!” “How am I being weird?” “Because you’re being really annoying!” He didn’t stop, and he didn’t look back at her. He just kept walking forward, and she followed on his heels. “You always say I’m annoying. Anyway, you’re the annoying one.” Faye reached forward, snatching Zularti’s wrist in her fingers as he continued trying to walk away from her. “Let me go!” He tugged his arm away from her, but she didn’t let go. Of course, he had not bothered to use his full strength. He could have easily broken the conjurer’s grip. “No! Stop and talk to me. What’s wrong?” She tugged insistently upon his arm, spinning the other Midlander around to face her. “Nothing is wrong. You’re crazy,” Zularti argued defensively. “I don’t believe that. You keep disappearing. You’re quiet, and grumpy, and moody, and spaced out all the time. You–” “Just shut up!” He finally wrenched his arm free of her grasp and stumbled a step away from her. Doubling forward with a pained groan, his now free hand grasped at his right eye, the one that had been left scarred and colorless that day so long ago when the Sahagin attacked him–the day she met him. There was a faint, blue glow from beneath his palm. His vision blurred and his eye throbbed with pain. As Faye watched him, the mage could sense a shift in his aether. He swung his opposite arm toward her as she moved toward him in concern, the aether gathering in front of his palm in a swirling orb of water that grew to the size of a watermelon before it fired toward her head. Thankfully it flew at her slightly off course, and all it took was a shift of her body to the side for it to sail harmlessly past her and splash onto the trunk of the tree behind her, misting her with some droplets of water in the process. She stared at him for a moment in shock, mouth agape. He was no spellcaster. So when and how did he learn to do that? He himself looked just as surprised and confused as she did. “Zularti–” “I told you to leave me alone!” he shouted as he backed away from her, turning and running off. This time she didn’t follow. She watched him leave, and counted her blessings that no one else was around to see how forlorn she probably looked. Something was very wrong…

I’m thinking of Paul in 90 Day Fiance just bolting off into the wilderness at the slightest provocation but it’s w/e I’m dedicating this one to my husband and it’s what he would want LOL PAAAAAAUUUUUULLL

#ffxiv #ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite22 #ffxivwrite2022 #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #final fantasy 14 #my writing #writing #fiction #short fiction #drabble #faye covington #entry 3 #prompt 3 #temper #entry #prompt #3 #writing prompt #writing challenge #faye #covington

[a-reason-for-existing]

If it shouldn't hurt me, it won't. That's stupid. Obviously, if it makes me feel bad, it's bad. I was watching a tiktok. Out of the blue, in the middle of it, someone yelled my deadname. I froze. I couldn't finish it in fear of hearing it again. That's stupid. I know that's not my name. I know there was no way they could be speaking to me. But, it triggered me. That's stupid. A few tiktoks later and I'm over it. I have this terrible habit, though. If something triggers me, I need to experience it again. I don't know why. Maybe it's an unconscious thing. Maybe I feel I deserve it. Maybe it's linked to some type of trauma. It makes me feel like a failure. That's stupid. I'm so stupid.

#entry 3 #public diary #deadname #triggered #trauma #signed scared and confused

[folding-planets]

Entry 3, Page 4

This upload is a mirror of Outcaste which uploads later than the main comic! To catch up with Hoatzin and the Crew's story, check out Outcaste on:

WEBTOON - Tapas - Globalcomix

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#webcomic #globalcomix #webtoon #comic #comic art #webtoon canvas #tapas webcomic #webcomic art #entry 3 #original character art #original character #original art #original comic #original story #outcastecomic #outcaste comic #outcaste #hoatzin #aster

[esotericasm]

errmm what the scallop ! elementary fanfic in 2023? thats right everypony im officially cringe material. i actually wrote this ages ago

#cbs elementary #joan watson #sherlock holmes #WAAA i miss them so much guys........ #this is actually unfinished but i thoufht id finally release it into the wild #ao3 fanfic #my fic #what tags do people even look at bro .... heartbream emoji #entry 3

[ran-the-cynic]

“You were the best. You were the worst. You were the storm. You were the sun. You made me mad. I lived for you. Im mad im here. Im glad im yours. I hate the people. I love the sea. You never listened. You were there for me. I stood my ground. I stood your ground. You made the ground and sky and all the air that sits between. You made me small. You made me grow. You kept me safe. You cramped my flow. You were a kid - a kid with kids. You were eternal. You were short-lived. Right to fight us. Wrong to fight so hard. Right to find yourself. Wrong to hold us down. Wrong to let us hold you back. Still mad at you. Always so mad at you. Always desiring to find a way to make it back to you. Tired of the yelling. I miss your voice. I miss the shrew. I miss the sixty miles per hour in a forty zone. I miss the feeling of being scared but fine to hold you close.

That was then, this is now, i have to tell myself.”

All The Things I Had To Say

#ran the cynic #ran #collection four: tears of your children #collection four #tears of your children #writing #writeblr #poetry #2022 #entry 3 #all the things i had to say #2023 #happy birthday