Tumgik
#enjoy my continued supply of shitposts
pan-xichen · 4 years
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MDZS Memes Vol. IIII
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kaidenya · 3 years
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Getting Caught ✧ MHA
Description: Headcanons for getting caught in a intimate moment with Hitoshi Shinso, Tenya Iida, Mirio Togata, & Tomura Shigaraki
WARNING: NSFW, suggestive content NOTE: This is a repost of an old SHITPOST headcanon I had on my previous account so if this looks familiar I hope you enjoy it the second time around!
“Nobody will know...”
Shinso
Shinso would go to his grave claiming that you were to blame for this situation
But in all honesty, he had been allowing things to build for far too long
You two weren’t necessarily a secret, but most people just assumed you were bEsT fRiEnDs 🥴
It was an honest misunderstanding
You had decided to keep physical contact to a minimum after an unfortunate attempt at holding his hand left you believing he didn’t enjoy any forms of PDA.
Shinso had just assumed the same about you.
However, as the two of you grew more serious, you found it more difficult to keep your hands to yourself
It just so happened your boyfriend had been working extremely hard in the hero course and it s h o w e d
You had found yourself admiring his changing physique and in turn, found you weren’t the only one admiring your boyfriend.
You weren’t necessarily jealous— you trusted him more than anything, but he tended to be socially constipated
And nobody seemed to know about you. Thus giving the other interested parties an unintentional greenlight to flirt with him. And there was one girl that had stood out among the sea of suitors.
Each time you saw the second-year girl perch next to Shinso it made your skin crawl, but no lines had been crossed.
Until they were.
Your knuckles were gripping the strap of your bag so tightly it ached when you made your way to where your boyfriend was perched outside
The second-year didn’t even acknowledge you as she continued her flirtatious ways and you don’t resist the urge to roll your eyes as you settle into the place next to him.
He had flashes you a lazy smile before focusing back on his phone screen.
Then her hand landed on his upper thigh
Let me tell you: sleepy boy was shocked when she touched him, but he was EVEN MORE SHOCKED when you took her by the wrist and tossed her hand to the side
You waste no time threading your fingers with his, rising to your feet and all but hauling him from his seat
His amusement only grew as he realized just how jealous you had gotten, a smirk forming over his lips as he set to teasing you
‘What’s the matter, kitty? You don’t like anyone touching daddy?’
NO, YOU DO NOT
You have no idea how you ended up on your knees in a supply closet??
Shinso is feeling very sure of himself above you, using the hand that was gripping the back of your neck as leverage to hold you down on his length
k i n g of dirty talk 🤭
Absolutely cannot help himself when it comes to telling you how pretty you look choking on his cock
Honestly doesn’t last long, but what do you expect? Seeing your jealous and possessive response to the girl he had given little to no acknowledgment had lit a fire in his chest
He was desperate to get his hands on you, to remind you that he was just as much yours as you were his.
And when he does— oh MAN he makes you forget all about the second-year girl
He has one of your legs draped over his shoulder as he goes down on you, licking and sucking at you in a way that had you trembling
You accidentally knock over a pile of brooms and mops, neither of you paying them any mind as your head lulled in bliss
If only you had remembered to flick the lock on the door…
Kirishima really thought someone was banging on the door for help. It wouldn’t have been manly— or heroic not to make sure someone wasn’t in trouble
Besides, why else would someone be making so much noise in a supply closet if they weren’t stuck??
So when the door swung open and he locked eyes with you, still panting and moaning as an all too familiar head of purple hair buried further into your heat—
He let out the loudest shout he could muster. Apologies poured from his mouth as he fumbled to shut the door
However, your boyfriend made no move to let you go. Instead, he hummed against your skin, only leaning back to nip at your inner thigh before speaking in a heavy voice
‘Better make this fast, kitty.’
Iida
So you’ve tried to keep your relationship on the down-low bc Iida doesn’t want anyone to think he’s distracted
We all know he just doesn’t wanna be called out for his obvious favoritism
Before you got together you were constantly pushing him, breaking minuscule rules in favor of gaining his attention. Nothing too immoral, but enough to get under his skin.
Like slipping into class just seconds after the bell had rung, nearly avoiding Aizawa’s attention, but never making it past Iida.
Or when a class had gotten a bit too stressful, the room filling with hot air as tensions rose and you had to pop open a few buttons of your uniform top
Then there was your favorite offense; desk sitting. If there was one sure way to get a reaction from your stickler of a boyfriend it was to place yourself on top of a desk.
Which is what you found yourself doing at the end of an unfavorable week. The two of you hadn’t gotten a moment together outside of your studies and you were growing needy.
So with a few moments of free time before class began, you decided to chat with Tsu and Uraraka, settling atop the desk between them when you had grown tired of standing
The desk belonging to none other than Tenya
Your ankles were crossed as you leaned forward to speak with Tsuyu and he was beyond s h o o k
Immediate hand chopping.
He’s towering over you, ranting about how your behavior was improper while keeping his hands clenched in an attempt to keep from running his fingertips along your thighs.
When was the last time you were this close to him? It had to have been longer than he realized for him to have such a strong reaction— are you biting your lip??
Any response between you died off as Aizawa addressed the class and you were sent back to your seat, leaving Iida far more frazzled than you realized
The moment class ends he has you tucked under an empty stairwell to continue his lecture
Only he doesn’t get very far
Tenya Iida has an authority kink. I take no criticism.
When you look up at him from under your lashes, muttering the words ‘yes sir’ as he chastised you, his resolve was shattered
Has you pressed against the wall immediately, fisting your blazer as he dips to press his forehead to yours
‘Why must you push me?’
Doesn’t even let you answer before his mouth is covering yours, hips arching to grind his obvious arousal against you
Knowing he had been just as affected by your as you had him was enough to spur a moan past your lips and he takes the chance to slide his tongue into your mouth
Although he was MORTIFIED at the impropriety of it all, he couldn’t resist the sweet noises you made as he expertly worked against you
His hand eventually slides between you, pushing past the waistband of your bottoms and grinding his palm against you teasingly
‘Now, who do you belong to, darling?’
You you youyouyou—
Your hand was rubbing along Iida’s hard cock, his length straining against his pants to the point you’re almost worried they’ll rip
Somehow the two of you had been so lost in one another that you hadn’t heard the door open at the top of the stairwell
Denki and Mineta honestly weren’t creeping this time— they just wanted a snack from the vending machine adjacent to you!
Got a whole ass meal instead 👁👄👁
A moan tore from your throat, quickly being smothered by Tenya’s parted lips as you came on his fingers
You had barely made out the echoing sound of objects clattering to the ground through the ringing in your ears
But your boyfriend had heard
His lips separated from you in an instant, shocked gaze shifting into something closer to anger as he recognized your classmates
Denki began stammering out an apology, looking close to short-circuiting as his attention flickered between you
Mineta had let his gaze linger on you for too long. His eyes taking in the way your exposed chest— Tenya must have pulled the buttons loose
You cringe away from his gaze, post-orgasm haze™ spurring you to tuck yourself closer to Tenya to avoid their stares rather than snap at them
It was your obvious discomfort that had kicked Iida into gear, twisting to thread your button your blouse together before rounding on the others
If embarrassment wasn’t enough, the thought of them having seen you in such a vulnerable position had him seething as he began his lecture
Attempts hand chopping them into submission, but they kept disregarding his words in favor of catching another glimpse of you in a fucked out state
All fondness for his classmates had vanished as he stepped into their line of sight, shielding you from their gazes. His eyes almost daring them to continue
Whatever words lingering on their tongues died off, heads bowing in shame as they agreed to keep the entire situation to themselves
After all, the potential wrath of Tenya Iida was not something to be taken lightly.
Mirio
Mirio’s love language is touch, without a doubt, so it’s honestly surprising when he’s NOT trying to get handsy with you
He’s always defended his obvious displays of affection by claiming he had so little free time— he’d be a fool to waste the opportunity to touch you!
Mirio jumped at the opportunity to feel you against him. Whether it was a heavy kiss to your lips after walking you to class, a hand slipping under your shirt to caress your back, or his fingers trailing teasingly along your thigh.
However, as much as he was attentive, he was also forgetful.
It was because of that forgetfulness that you found yourself alone in your dorm. Countless boxes of takeout were lined up on your desk and a pre-planned movie was ready to play on your small tv.
After a few hours and countless delivered messages, you succumbed to disappointment.
The following day Mirio can’t seem to figure out why you’re avoiding him, but he refuses to give up without a fight.
Definitely thinks it’s a game of some sort and takes it upon himself to break your silent streak
It wasn’t easy being upset with Mirio. He had an uncanny ability to brighten any room he stepped into and being irrevocably in love with him only strengthened his effect
He’s always hard for you and loves letting you know just how you affect him— so why not place a hand on your hand, pressing firmly against your back when he slips past?
You always look so stunning— why not feed you compliments at every given moment?
How could he not look at you with the most iNTENSE GAZE undressing you with his eyes in front of everyone?
It’s when he realizes that you aren’t reacting to his teasing and flirtatious behaviorist that he caves.
He finds you between classes, stirring you away from the crowd, despite your wordless protests. It isn’t until you’re tucked away in an abandoned hall that he finally asks what was wrong
You had fully intended on dragging it out, allowing anger to push you on. But he spoke to you in the softest voice, looked at you with eyes filled with so much devotion that it was nearly overwhelming
He is shocked when you shove him away— were you tearing up??
Actually gets super defensive because he doesn’t realize HES the one that made you upset
Once you finally cave and remind him about the date he had missed it hits him like a freight train.
The two of you so rarely got time together and he had stood you up.
‘I’m so sorry, baby. I’ve been so busy lately— I didn’t realize I was neglecting you.’
Does not waste time making it up to you. He cups your face in his hands as he starts placing soft kisses on your face, cooing softly as tears roll down your cheeks
Did somebody say praise kink?
How can you stay mad at him when he’s telling you how sorry he is and that he loves you and you’re the only one his dick will get hard for??
It isn’t long before he’s pinned you between him and the wall, hitching your legs around his waist while coaxing you into a heavy kiss
His hips flex to grind against you, his hot length slotting between your thighs as he digs his fingertips into the curve of your ass
Mirio does not care that somebody could see— his quirk leaves him naked all the time and he’s shameless 🥵
But again he’s so forgetful—
And he was meant to go straight to class 1A to talk with them alongside the other members of The Big Three
So when he didn’t show up Aizawa had sent Tamaki and Midoriya in search of their future number one hero
How were you supposed to know they would turn the corner just as you arched from the wall?
Mirio had no idea anyone was there as he used the hand that was wrapped around your throat as leverage to grind you over the edge—
bOY were you embarrassed when you heard the two boys audibly g a s p
Midoriya’s embarrassment nearly gave Tamaki a run for his money. You were quick to turn away, immediately hiding your face in his chest as he greeted the duo in an overly cheerful voice
Absolutely teases the three of you over the incident FOREVER!!
Shigaraki
Shigaraki was obsessed with you.
There was no way around how infatuated he had become and it only seemed to grow alongside your relationship
He was touch starved. The moment you began giving him physical affection and attention it was game over
He had no shame, especially when it came to his desire for you, which is how you often found yourself perched on his lap no matter the company.
That being said, the leader of the League of Villains became intolerable when the two of you were separated for long.
And a recent spiral of events has prevented you from returning to the hideout, thus leaving the others to deal with him
You weren’t expected to return until the following week. Aside from texting Shigaraki endlessly (didn’t he have anything better to do?) and assuring Twice and Toga that you’d be returning as soon as possible, you hadn’t had much contact with the League
Shigaraki was wound up tight, lashing out at the others far more than usual. That was how he ended up sitting at the bar, Father concealing his annoyance as Kurogiri took over the meeting.
And suddenly you were walking in, muttering a quick apology before taking the only available seat beside Toga
Shigaraki could not keep his eyes off of you, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by the others. It was the most present he had been since you left.
Of course, that meant Dabi has also noticed and never missing an opportunity to mess with their ruthless leader he shifted closer from his place behind you, muttering small talk into your ear
There is no doubt in my mind that Shigaraki was staring at you both like 😠 behind Father
Luckily the meeting had been wrapping up upon your arrival and the group was dismissed, many leaving to handle their own business.
However, the moment you had leaped to your feet Tomura had vanished from the room
With a sigh you moved over to the bar, sliding into the seat that had once been occupied by your man and Kurogiri placed a drink before you
By the time you had downed the last bit the bar had gotten eerily quiet, though when you shifted to speak to the Misty Man he was already looking over your shoulder. With a single nod, he had left the room.
The moment he was gone leather artist gloves shoved under your top, your heart racing at the all too familiar feeling as a palm settled between your shoulders
‘I’ve missed you, pet.’
There was a harsh tone to his voice, but it was contradicted by the trail of open-mouthed kisses he pressed along your neck and shoulder
Your entire body arched against him, head craning back to catch a glimpse of him, smiling widely as you met his gaze and returned the sentiment
A scoff slid past his lips, though you could see the amusement dancing in his gaze as his hand reached around to wrap around your throat
Despite the gloves, he kept a pinky in the air
His mouth covers yours in a sloppy kiss as his hips jolt sharply against you, knocking you against the countertop
Absolutely cannot control himself as he ruts against you, wasting little to no time in pushing your bottoms down past your thighs
Heat pooled in your stomach as his free hand reached between you to pull himself from his jeans
His dick slid between your thighs, a throaty whine sliding past your lips and despite the slick from your arousal the thick head stretched you perfectly
You had been completely lost in him, moaning and whining freely as he continued to rut against you.
There was a click throughout the room, similar to the door handle being twisted and your attention was adverted to the source
However, Shigaraki was faster.
He grabbed the back of your head and using his hold as leverage to press your face flat against the bar-top while his other hand worked against your sensitive center. A loud moan that was undoubtedly his name tumbled past your lips
‘There’s my little slut— louder, make sure they know who makes you feel this good.’
Unbeknownst to you, the person he wanted to be sure knew you were his had entered the room, Tomura meeting his gaze with a smirk as you began chanting his name like a prayer
A harsh thrust of his hips sent you over the edge as you came on his cock, filthy praises slipping past his lips as his hot release rolled down your thighs
He placed another sloppy kiss on the back of your neck before parting from you.
The moment you lift your head and begin adjusting yourself you lock eyes with Dabi
Embarrassed didn’t even begin to explain how you felt as Tomura let out a loud laugh, reaching down to pull your bottoms up after he had tucked himself away
‘Go wait on my bed while I speak with Dabi and I may let you come on my tongue.’
You wasted no time hurrying away from the two, heart pounding from both excitement and humiliation as you rushed to do as you were told
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animetrashlord-007 · 4 years
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Tumblr Takeover
Word Count;; 2.2k
Genre;; Fluff
Pairing;; Ushijima x Reader
Summary;;
You groaned as you scrolled through your Tumblr profile, glaring at the content that seemed to have no end. What used to be your messy, themeless blog filled predominantly with anime, nightblogging and the occasional debate, now contained volleyball. Only volleyball.
[The cringe is real, folks]
Notes;; Published: 2017-04-06
My Masterlist
   You groaned as you scrolled through your Tumblr profile, glaring at the content that seemed to have no end. What used to be your messy, themeless blog filled predominantly with anime, shitposting and the occasional debate, now contained volleyball. Only volleyball. You slammed your laptop shut before packing your school supplies and running out the door. Your teacher would never let you hear the end of it if you were late for the third day in a row, even if you tried to pass the blame onto a certain third year. It was his fault after all; he altered your entire blog overnight without asking beforehand, and the early morning discovery put you into a temporary state of shock. You growled and quickened your pace - no sane teacher would accept that excuse and you had no intention of gaining detention because of a volleyball-obsessed dork. Once you reached class (on time, much to your amazement), your irritation faded. As much as you hated to admit, it wasn't his fault. You should have expected this to happen sooner or later. You knew what you were getting into when you shared your account with him. He had told you his intentions at the beginning: Ushijima wanted to share his love of volleyball with you and your poor followers.
   It wasn't like you disliked the sport either; you knew your school’s team well enough to attend their matches (with only mild persuasion necessary on their part) and, while you could see the appeal, it wasn't your first pick for a hobby. In fact, it wouldn't be your second or third pick either, but if you had to choose a sport… you might consider it. In all honesty, the thing you enjoyed most about volleyball was the players. Shiratorizawa’s team was determined and they had talent. Somehow your admiration for their abilities had led you to befriending each of them to different degrees. When you saw Tendou in the halls, you’d yell manga references at one another, each quote becoming more obscure than the last, until the bell rang and you both bolted to class. Goshiki did his best to avoid you after watching you challenge Shirabu to an impromptu dance-off, which, to his horror, his upperclassman accepted. Neither of you were being very serious as you dropped it low and pumped it up, laughing at how stupid you both looked, yet Goshiki claimed to be scarred for life. At lunch most days you pretended to study with Yamagata and Ohira whilst spamming Semi with memes and vine compilations. He once blessed you with a response, and had it not been at two in the morning after a long night of studying, you would have been impressed with the video of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” on loop for ten hours. Never in your life would you have suspected to be Rick Rolled by your senpai, but you weren't one to back down from a challenge. Feeling invigorated, you continued to spam him every chance you got. To his regret, that included sending TED talks about asexual reproduction in various species in the dead of night when you were unable to sleep.
   “I think the real question here is why the hell do you watch videos about animal reproduction at midnight every week?” Semi sighed as he wiped the sweat off his brow before throwing his towel at you.
   “Gross! I don't want your stinky towel!” You snapped, tossing it back. You grimaced as you stretched, the obnoxious cracking of several joints resonated throughout the gym. After being hunched over your textbooks for the first half of their practice, it was nice to stand up and move your tired muscles. Goshiki muttered a protest to your presence under his breath, which you elected to ignore.
   “No way, she still sends those to you?” Tendou bellowed, slapping his friend’s back with a grin. The setter shrugged, shooting you glare before walking back onto the court, leaving you with the middle blocker. His grin fell into a devious smirk upon seeing your narrowed eyes. Knowing full well what his mind was focused on and that he had no intention of letting his inquiry go unanswered, you stalked toward the door. He kept pace with you, poking you as he continued, “You can't avoid it that easily.”
   Feigning naivety, you quipped, “I don't watch them, I just send them to Semi to bug him.”
   “Oh, no, no, you don’t. Not that question, the one before that. Why don't you annoy Ushijima like you do everyone else?”
   You allowed a quick smile to flicker across your features before turning to the boy who was still following you to the door and ignoring his coach’s calls to return to the damn court already. Pure bliss flooded your mind as you pursed your lips, hand lifted over your heart in mock despair as your eyes quivered. Giving yourself a mental pat on the back for being on the verge of tears, you whispered, “I annoy you, Satori-kun?”
   “No! Of course not! I just meant-”
   “I'm sorry, Satori-kun, I'll leave you all alone from now on,” a single tear flowed down your cheek and you just about imploded with pride. Who needs to take theatre courses when you have this much natural talent?
   “No, no! Don't cry!” Looking to his teammates for help, he pointed at you with exasperation. His silent pleas were met with snickers as they each turned their back on the scene.
   On the outside, you were a delicate mess. On the inside, however, you were rejoicing. No longer was his mind on why you acted just a touch different with the team’s ace (since evidently nothing slipped past those maroon eyes of his), but rather on how to stop the waterworks that threatened to break before him. All that was left was to run out of the gym, celebrate your narrow escape, and continue to avoid him until you could formulate a believable excuse. You didn't want him to catch on to the small crush you had developed on Ushijima, but more importantly, you didn't want him to know about your Tumblr. He would never let you live down your low-effort blog after he had shown you his organised manga-themed one. Nevermind the the flack you would receive about how much of a pushover you had become to allow Ushijima full reign over it. Perhaps you could lie and say that the third year intimidated you, so you didn't want to push your luck around him. Maybe fortune would favour you and Tendou would drop the subject completely after this disaster. Knowing him, however, that was unlikely.
   “I'll just go, since I annoy you-”
   “What did you do this time?” A gravelly voice resounded across the room. It sent shivers down your spine as you faced the sound. Ushijima towered over you, a mix between confusion and disappointment aimed toward Tendou. The redhead just laughed before running back onto the court.
   “Hey Wakatoshi-kun, did you finish your exam?” You fumbled with your bag strap as you tried to sidle out of his vision. Much to your dismay, his eyes followed you with an intensity that would make a weaker person crumble.
   “What did he do?” Reiterating his question with a deepening frown, he moved in front of the door and blocked your escape.
   “Oh, you know Tendou-kun. Everything he does is annoying. Well, I've got to go!”
   “Before you leave, did you see our Tumblr? I changed it a little.”
   “A little?” You repeated, bitterness tainting the smile you flashed toward him, “You changed it more than a little, Ushijima-kun. My favourite part of it would have to be the ask from a mutual about why I'm suddenly a volleyball blog, and if I'm sharing my account because it seemed even more all over the place than usual and I just loved waking up to a new theme as well. Yes, it was very nice, Ushiwaka-kun, very nice.”
   “You should try regulating your breathing, you look flustered. I am glad you liked it, however. I spent a decent amount of time on it,” he nodded, brushing past you to join his team in their practice. Unbelievable.
   “Oi, you! We're not done here! I'll be calling you tonight, so, uh, prepare yourself!” You shouted after him, huffing at his thumbs-up. A tinge of pink painted the tips of your ears when Semi and Shirabu smirked at you, which bloomed into a full blush at Tendou’s, “You can call on him anytime!”
   The rest of the day whirled by in a blur. You couldn't procrastinate on Tumblr without being reminded of your new theme, which turned off your desire to slack off in general. You finished your homework early, then you finished next week’s as well. Something seemed off, but you didn't stop to question it - you were motivated to work for once and you didn't want to jinx your flow. Even after finishing two essays, you had time to kill before you could call Ushijima. Since he was tardy to practice, he would undoubtedly stay late to make up the lost time. Heading to the kitchen, you grabbed out the ice cream and threw yourself down on the couch. With nothing left to do, binge-watching Netflix would feel rather guilt-free for once. Your relaxation was cut short when you heard a knock at the door.
   “I don't want to buy your shit, go away!”
   “It's Ushijima,” a palpable pause, “and I'm not selling anything. I have your textbooks. You left them in the gym.”
   You groaned at your own stupidity. How could you have let Tendou work you up enough to abandon your textbooks? On top of that, you allowed your desire to scold Ushijima to blind you to your obvious lack of study material. Without it, the likelihood of errors had increased exponentially. You smacked yourself with a pillow; now you would have to double-check all your homework. Anxiety tickled your numbing thoughts as you turned off the television. You didn't make any effort to meet him at the door, “Ugh, just come in already.”
   He offered a nod in acknowledgement as he entered the living room and placed the books on the table. He sat down next to you, smiling as he grabbed the dessert from your hands. You were used to him being in your home after many an afternoon spent showing him how to use Tumblr. What came as a surprise was watching him eat the ice cream. Most days he would return it to the freezer, disregarding your pleas. You took the chance to observe him while his own gaze fell to the carpeted floor. The embodiment of a proper gentleman, he maintained perfect posture. He was still in his school uniform, and he always looked tense in it, but he seemed to loosen up when he was in your home. You knew he had taken a shower at the school, which he usually did after practice, because his hair had been styled once more. You always appreciated how the minty scent of his body wash lingered throughout your house even after he left. His clothes seemed tighter, clinging to his damp skin, providing an even more exquisite view of his muscles. Eyes falling to his legs, you let your mind wander and toy with the notion of seeing those thighs bare of clothing. You didn't notice when he turned to you at last, still lost in your own somewhat perverted thoughts. Coughing to gain your attention, he cocked an eyebrow, “Enjoying yourself?”
   “Shut up, you smell nice.”
   He blinked, a tinge of red dusting his cheeks, before continuing, “What did you want to talk about?”
   “I was going to call you. You didn't need to arrive at my house unannounced and start eating my food,” you mumbled, hitting his arm, “but I wanted to talk to you about getting your own Tumblr. Or, I guess since you already took over mine, I could start a new one.”
   “Why?”
   “What do you mean why, doofus? When I showed you my Tumblr, I didn't intend for you to take it over. I just thought you might want to see that someone posted one of your matches and it was getting notes,” you sighed, hitting his arm again. He chuckled at the effort, lifting a spoon of the frozen dessert to your lips. You swore under your breath as your cheeks exploded with crimson heat upon swallowing the treat.
   “I'm sorry,” he placed the tub of ice cream on the table before facing you once more, taking your hands within his, “You mentioned how your blog was personal to you, and I enjoyed that you shared it with me. I enjoy spending time you.”
   “Oi, you can't just say things like that! Dammit, Bakatoshi! You're making me blush!” You slapped his arm once more, earning an amused grunt from the attractive volleyball-obsessed idiot. He leaned in to you, tucking some loose strands of hair behind your ear.
   “It was nice having something that was ours,” You could feel his breath on your lips as he caressed your cheek. Your heart skipped a few beats, waiting for him to make his move.
   “Geez, just kiss me already, Wakatoshi-kun!” You closed the gap, lips smashing against his. If he was surprised by your forwardness, he didn’t show it. Instead he entwined his fingers within your hair, returning the kiss with equal passion. Patience was never one of your strong suits, not that either of you were complaining.
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thetomorrowshow · 4 years
Text
Mutually Beneficial Ch. xxxiii
First  -  Previous  -  Next  -  Chapter list
Recommended listening: Cavetown - Juliet
Tw: LOGAN ANGST, pain, slight body horror, a character spirals, self-deprecating thoughts
A/N: Hey all! Thanks for being so patient as the updates have been taking longer! If you didn’t know, my dominant hand is sort of screwed up, so writing/typing has been difficult. I will be updating at least once a week, every two weeks if that isn’t feasible. Love you guys!
-
Logan still couldn't see.
He had woken four hours and fifty-two minutes after passing out. He had at once been distressed at the darkness, with no way of knowing he'd actually woken. Then he'd heard Roman's “Thank Zeus!” and Patton's “Are you awake, Lo?”
He'd been awake for one hour and forty-six minutes now, spending most of that time sitting at the kitchen table, his hands wrapped around a cup of tea, his mind running a mental check over his body to ensure he had no injuries.
Logan desperately wanted to shower. Roman or Patton had wiped the black substance from his face as it had dripped from his nose or been coughed up. Neither of them knew what it was. Neither of them knew how to get it out of Logan's burning eyes. If only for comfort, Logan's glasses were on his face, and he continually found his hand twitching up to adjust them. It made no sense—the glasses currently served no purpose, why did he insist on wearing them?
Perhaps it was to feel normal. If so, it wasn't working. Missing his sight, Logan felt utterly helpless.
“Maybe some warm water?”
Logan would have rolled his eyes at Patton's tentative suggestion, were they not currently obstructed. Did they think he hadn't tried that? He'd spent the first twenty minutes of being awake in the bathroom, doing everything he could to see. The substance was stubborn, however . . . Logan could feel it moving. Had it been anyone else, they wouldn't have even noticed it, but Logan was known for recognizing micro-movements. It was sluggish, moving almost untrackably slowly, but definitely oozing its way to the forefront of his eyes. He estimated that after three hours of open eyes, it would begin to drip out.
He wondered if it would burn less then. He was barely able to bite down undignified whimpers as it was. Maybe the substance coming free would allow tears to escape his tear ducts.
“Does . . . does it hurt, Logan?”
He must not have hidden that last grimace as well as he thought he had. He somehow knew that Roman was staring at him intently, perhaps had been for hours.
“Of course it hurts, Roman, be sensible,” he snapped. It did hurt, quite a lot, but any unknown substance spontaneously entering one's eyes was bound to hurt greatly. It seemed, however, that Roman was not going to leave the matter alone.
“On a scale of—”
“I do not currently wish to discuss my pain.”
Silence.
“You made me discuss it.”
Logan sighed as loud as he possibly could. He wanted Roman to know precisely how exasperated he was.
“Seven-point-four-seven-nine-three, if you must know.”
He cringed at the sound of the breath Patton sucked in; the curse Roman murmured. Logan wanted neither of them to continue the discussion, so changed the subject with the first thing that popped into his head.
“Could either of you hear what the enchantment on the chains said?”
“No,” came Roman's immediate answer. Some shuffling of feet was to be heard. “I could guess on the last one, though.”
Before Logan had time to figure out what that meant, Patton spoke.
“I heard the third one,” Patton said softly, “I touched the chain when I grabbed your hands. I'm sorry.”
Logan wasn't sure what Patton was apologizing for—helping get rid of the chain after being told not to, or hearing the words that nearly undid him. He was embarrassed, to be honest. He had never deluded himself into believing that the other Sides truly loved him, but he'd foolishly hoped that they had sometimes enjoyed his company, or felt at ease with his presence.
As if his thoughts were being broadcast aloud, Patton interrupted them.
“Remember, the chains lied.”
Did they, though? Much of what Deceit created was fueled by belief. By believing the chains dissipated when a lie was disproved, they could have presented anything as a falsehood, regardless of fact or fiction. For all he knew, Deceit may not even be Deceit, he just appeared as such because they believed that of him! What if he wasn't Logic? What if Thomas didn't exist?? Did Thomas even exist?! What if—
“Specs, I need you to get out of your head right now.”
Logan gasped slightly as Roman's voice cut through the panic. He couldn't get out of his head, he couldn't see anything to distract himself with, and it didn't matter, because none of them were even—
“You look like you're freaking out. I need you to do those breathing exercises Virgil does.”
In for four, hold for seven, out for eight, his mind instantly supplied. It took several tries before he was able to follow the directions properly.
“Logan, we love you.”
Patton's words hurt, hurt so much it was almost physical.
“Not only do we love you, we like you.”
Oh.
No they didn't.
“I love hearing you talk about saving the planet,” Patton continued. “It makes me feel all warm inside. And you always care so much about all of us, you make us planners and schedules and everything!”
Logan felt his heart crack. It wouldn't do to break down in front of them. It would only annoy them, as well as ruin his reputation. He stood to leave, but Roman's voice gave him pause.
“I very much enjoy our arguments—er, discussions. I get excited to hear your comments on things, particularly things I make or enjoy. I—” his voice cracked, but Roman tried again, words thick with tears. “I love seeing that spark of life when we design and build things together. That—that light in your eyes, the excitement in your voice—I always feel so happy that I made you happy.” A wet laugh. “I would improvise some poetry, but I haven't exactly been my wonderful self lately.”
Logan simply . . . no, there was nothing simple about this. Logan, for some unknown reason, was not able to process what had just been said. The words would not compute. Perhaps from all the energy he was spending attempting to understand, Logan felt somewhat faint. He didn't realize he was swaying until a stabilizing arm wrapped around his back, then pulled him into a hug.
He melted into the touch, recognizing easily Patton's soft shirt and strong arms. The hug was . . . nice. One thought broke through the mist.
“Y-you like me?”
Patton sniffled close to his ear and pulled Logan closer. “Yes, Lo. We like you. We love spending time with you.
“You . . . like me.”
He was guided somewhere, that place revealed as the living room when Patton gently sat with him on the couch. Behind all the sleepy fuzzies and heartbreak and the screaming in his eyes, something itched. Weren't they supposed to be doing something?
One thought at a time, he supposed.
“You . . . you like me?”
Patton's chest stuttered against his head. “Of course. I like you. Roman likes you. V-Virgil likes you.”
“You l-like me.”
“Sleep, Prince-ipal. We truly love you.”
A little burst of happiness spread from his chest to his fingertips, doing something to help close the metaphorical gaping wounds on his metaphorical heart. Roman had never called him prince.
Pushing away all of the conflicting feelings and the burning pain, not to mention the ache to figure out what they weren't doing, what question they weren't answering, Logan snuggled closer to Patton and let his mind turn off.
-
Taglist (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @i-can-get-extra-with-my-ships @stop-it-anxiety @shitpost-sides @bl00scl00s @charakitcat @ainsleyf @sandersstuffsblog @ginnyfox617 @enragedbees @minty4green @eggy-boyo @escalatingtoofast @hayden-going-insane @piixelations @supersoftsupersleep @crowsmadreadful @hpdmmdundtl @thenewlarislynn @mooniecoockie @eden607 @sanderssidesweirdo @cali-the-dreamer @thedukeofdeodorant-main @hankaa-aaaa @atlasistryingherbest @arcticfrostdoesthings @awkward-and-artistic @wants-to-be-bad-but-is-soft @xionbean
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jellidile · 4 years
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A Home For Two (Michael Myers x Reader) Chapter 1
This is the beginning of the longest fic I’ve ever written, brought about by my own shitpost thoughts.
The reader is gender-neutral. Enjoy
Michael yawned as he slowly woke. He was going to do his daily ritual of just enjoying the silence of his home… But there was walking from downstairs. Michael sighed, how long would it be before people just stayed out?? It wasn’t like Judith was haunting the place. Hell the only thing that really haunted the Myers house was him. Slowly creeping to the top of the stairs he listened to the sounds below,
“Oh! Sheriff, good morning!” 
“Well, good morning stranger. Can I ask what you’re doing?” 
“Moving in! I bought this house recently.” Michael stiffened. Someone bought the house? Michael kept peering. This wasn’t right… No one was interested in buying the Myers house. It was a bad house. Michael Myers go to hideaway. This was some sort of joke. But as he kept looking there were boxes piled in the doorway,
“Mind if I help you then? Just to welcome you to town.” 
“Sure!” Michael retreated to his room silently. He grumbled to himself. Normally he would’ve just killed anyone brave enough to trespass onto his property. But this was different. This person lived here now. If they died people would definitely suspect him, or at least something in the house. Sighing he looked out the window and to the very run down shed in the back. It wasn’t comfortable but it was somewhere he could hide. Slipping out of the window silently he crept onto the roof and out to the shed. The shed was messy and filled with pointy objects but it was better than sleeping outside. Settling into the farthest corner of the shed Michael grumbled and fell asleep. 
When Michael woke, it was to crickets and overall silence. Creeping out of the shed, there wasn’t any movement from the house. Much to his surprise the window he’d left the house from was still open. 
Crawling back through Michael was doubly surprised to see the old mattress he’d been sleeping on replaced, with his- oh fuck… He’d left his extra clothes under the bed. He internally cursed to himself. Looking again Michael noticed they were devoid of the usual dirt stains from being stored on the floor. They were also neatly folded with a note on top,
Hi! To whomever these belong to, I thought I’d wash them for you. I understand it’s pretty sudden of me to be moving into this abandoned house. Sorry!
Michael paused, tilted his head and reread the note. An apology?? To him. Michael Myers. Sighing he sat on the mattress and lied down. He practically melted when his back hit the plush fabric. So he had to admit, this was pretty nice. He was content to just enjoy the plushness of the mattress slowly letting his eyes close. It couldn’t have been more than two minutes, but when Michael opened his eyes, gentle sunlight was flooding into his room. His muscles tensed as he shot up. What in the hell was wrong with him?? Angrily he got out of the bed, grabbed his clothes and left the house. 
Back in the shed Michael tapped his foot angrily. Had you come in?? Did you see him? Every so often he peeked out of the shed. But for hours there was no movement. Finally around noon he saw something. In the window of his room you appeared. He couldn’t tell what you were holding but when you looked out of the window he could see you smiling. 
You left only a few minutes later and for the rest of the day didn’t enter the room. Michael grumped as night fell and though he was sure the house didn’t have electricity, he waited till all the dim glows he could see were gone. As he clambered back into his room there were blankets on the bed, and another note.
I thought you might like these. Mystery stranger.
Michael huffed. Surely if you found out who he was, you’d rethink being so nice. But… what if you continued to be nice? Michael scoffed, no, you wouldn’t. Living with Michael Myers is something teens said they’d rather do then some other equally bad situation. 
Quietly he opened the door. It didn't squeak, Michael had figured out how to move silently around the house weeks ago. Padding through the house he heard your gentle breathing come from the room his parents had used. He decided to leave you alone for now. You weren't causing him any trouble and he didn't feel inclined to end your life just yet. 
The door to his sisters room held his attention though. Cracked open the slightest bit, there was a gentle glow. Peeking inside, Michael found a small shrine of sorts. Perhaps a vigil was a more apt name? Either way there on the windowsill was a picture of Judith. Hazy memories of his sister filtered through. She was nice enough. Maybe a little absorbed in her boyfriend. Michael liked Judith. Not that sentiments did much now. 
Blowing out the candle he headed downstairs. Tarps lay over new furniture and paint supplies were scattered everywhere. Though it was dark Michael could sort of tell what the new colour was. Either a blue or white. He liked it. 
In the kitchen, there were still a ton of boxes. It seemed you hadn’t gotten around to unpacking here yet. But all was not lost. There was food on the counter. A small package of cherry tomatoes, it was already open, and in Michael’s eyes. Fair game. Popping a few in his mouth he peered out of the kitchen window. Although he was creeping around in the middle of the night, he felt halfway normal. Eating real food than the sad excuse they had at Smith’s Grove, and just being free in his own house… Kind of his own house. Speaking of food, Michael was delighted to be eating something. The last time he’d eaten he couldn’t remember but he was about two hours away from eating another dog. The tomatoes he decided, tasted much better. Looking to his side he spied a container of grapes. 
His mouth watered, grapes were good. He couldn’t remember how he knew that. He just did. Childhood maybe?? No, focus, he thought. Grapes. Slinking over to the container he could tell it would be too loud to open the container. 
There were holes in the top but the grapes were too far down and Michael could barely get his finger out. He grumbled, resigned to opening the container. Slowly he pulled the plastic lid up from the rest of the container. He was as gentle as he possibly could when-
POP
Of course the damn thing had to make one of the biggest noises Michael had heard in a while. Hissing he snagged as many grapes as he could before leaving the house through the back door. As he left he could hear you stirring upstairs. 
In the shed Michael ate his grapes halfway focussed on seeing what you would do, and halfway focussed on marvelling how much better grapes were compared to dogs! Michael cursed Loomis, if he could ever get his hands on that rat… He’d show him who the real evil was. Leaning against the wall of the shed, his body shivered. It would be winter soon… Glancing back at the house he thought about the blankets waiting for him. It seemed you wholly okay, with some strange unseen roommate. At least… you were. Michael would wait a few hours to see if you’d called the police thanks to his midnight grape theft.
But when no police came Michael stole away into his room. Locking the door he slipped into bed and for the first time in a long time. Slept soundly through the night. Warm in the sheets his boots neatly placed at the foot of the bed. 
When he woke he heard the doorknob jiggle and he quickly hopped out of bed and placed his full weight at the door. He heard you gasp from the other side before sighing,
“I was wondering who locked the door. Good to know you actually exist.” Michael breathed heavy unsure of what to do. Quietly he heard shuffling and a plate being placed on the ground,
“Not big on talking? That’s okay. I know this is probably weird… I guess it’s just nice to not be so lonely… I’ll get you a notepad soon so you can talk back if you like.” Michael sat awkwardly with his back to the door. You were acting like you’d known him for months. Like this was just another day,
“Can I slip something into the room? I won’t look at you or anything. Just a gift.” Michael hesitated. But… You hadn’t tried anything so far. Slowly he unlocked the door and cracked it open a bit. Slowly you pushed a bowl of grapes in and quickly retreated, closing the door for him. With a gentle click he locked the door again. He heard you laugh,
“Next time, maybe don’t open those at midnight.” Quietly he took the bowl popping a grape in his mouth. You continued on about most anything,
“See, I like this house. Last time I was here, it was cold and lonely. But on day one here, it was almost alive. I guess when someone has made a house their home, everything brightens up huh?” Michael huffed. What would you do if he opened the door? Run, scream, beg for your life? 
But...none of that seemed quite right. This was the first time he’d ever heard your voice for an extended amount of time. But from how you spoke, and mentioned how weird you must be… Michael couldn’t help but wonder what you would do. Maybe you would be startled, after all it wasn’t lost to Michael that he was incredibly tall. But perhaps… You’d be alright with him. He heard you groan,
“Well, I’m off to work, but maybe you’ll be around later?” Michael stayed quiet. You laughed,
“Oh, and you’re allowed to look at the rest of the house while I’m away. You don’t have to just eat at midnight.” Michael listened to your footsteps fade away and creak down the stairs. The door closing rattled the house slightly. Michael sat motionless thinking of everything you had said to him. 
He could almost agree that it was nice to have company.
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sirene312 · 4 years
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oh GOD guys…. You have no idea the crusade i had to went through just to be sitting here, with my dear computer working again, and enjoying the joy of 1.9 Mbps internet connection speed. First thing on the front page of my dash was three shitposts on a row, new niche memes, and good ‘ol fandom drama. god how I missed this hell site. 
In case anyone wants to know what happened, I will put behind a ‘read more’ the story of a missing computer part that quickly become a detective mission, that dragged me unwillingly into the wild ride I didn’t signed for when pressing ‘buy’ on an online store.
TL;DR at the end bc this is very long. English is not my first language so please bear with me! 
Okay, some of you may know a bit about me since apparently i don’t have a “dude shut up! Stop oversharing your woes!!!” button on me but hey here are some things to know about me in case you are curious: I live in Venezuela and not having internet is my personality trait, living in my country is very hard, hard like trying to play the Rainbow Road of Mario Kart but you have butter on your hands, your eyes are closed and you are running on the rain while there is a 8.0 earthquake happening. That hard. I work as a freelance graphic designer and make art commissions so me and my family can survive the economic crisis on my country, having internet and a working computer is a really big deal, like literally we eat thanks to it. Now you see how that would led me to spend a whole month chasing and stressing over a stupid part my computer needed.
Back in December, remember last season of “what’s troubling Sirene now?” where i spend almost a month without internet and then yay internet is back! for like two days? well, after Christmas there was a sudden power cut one night and i was on my computer working on a commission but since this is now a common occurrence i didn't think anything of it …until next day when i tried to switch my computer ON it didn't. I tried everything to revive it, grabbing anxiously my hair, walking on circles, and pressing continuously the power button, you know everything, but it was in vain. It’s dead, Jim. As you can imagine i had a breakdown when i realized i won’t be able to work anymore and needed to buy a new power supply since this one was toast…and was without internet friggin again. AGAIN. I survived till now using my crappy phone data but heavy apps hardly load, tumblr/ao3/twitter sometimes loaded if i refreshed them like a madman. 
My computer is a tiny model and has a power supply that apparently is made by beavers in Narnia, because is so uncommon that the only stores that sell them are on my Capital city two states away from where i live. Knowing this, there is not other alternative for me but to use a online store and shipping the package here, in theory sounds simple right? a reminder that this is a third world country, where everything is falling apart and barely holding it together with chewing gum and prayers, what are the odds of something going wrong hmm….
Okay, this happened in the week after Christmas and before New Year's Eve, so of course all stores in my country decided to go on vacation and return on January. I impatiently waited for two online stores to be back on business that have the power supply i need, they were physical stores too so i thought i would be safe. i liked one more than the other and, as i told my friends, i felt like a telenovela protagonist that was on a love triangle with two galanes but the hotter one was in coma and the other just had 3 episodes in, meaning that the better rated store was still offline and the other was online but only had like 3 products sold …not very reassuring but i desperately needed to start working again so i went with that one. Big mistake.
Everything started on Tuesday, January 14. 
Mercado Libre is a page where people sell things like Amazon, this is where the seller of the power supply was, after you click on buy, you can see the seller info and a chat to talk to them, i wrote but there was not immediate response so i called, i spoke to a woman and she told me to text her on WhatsApp, that should have been my first red flag, if the app had a perfect chat option there why text outside of it?? 
whatever, i went and text her, asked when would she send the package and she told me “tomorrow” the shipping company she was going to use is called “Zoom” (remember that name bc it will be mentioned a lot) when you send something they give the sender (the store) a tracking number the sender should give YOU in order for the shipping office (Zoom) in your city to give you the package. (this number is important)
this was my first time buying anything online so i didn’t know any of that just vaguely knew how it worked, so i asked her if she the next day would give me the tracking number or the shipping company would call me when my package was on the shipping center? and she told me “both, i will give you the number and they are going to call you” I said perfect, thank you very much and thought ‘hey that went well!’ 
Unknown to me, for the next 10 days i was going suffer a weird and painful skin reaction on both hands, and man…it was bad (tw graphic description of a skin condition ahead) the skin on the palm of my hands completely fell off, and it burned like i had scraped my hands on the sidewalk and someone was pouring lemon juice on them. Ouch. as you can imagine all my attention was on what was going on with my hands. I still don’t know what could have caused that severe reaction.
With difficulty texted the woman on Monday 20 i asked again for the tracking number but she said “i’m waiting for the bike delivery guy to give me the number but your package was sent” so she -the store seller- dont go personally to Zoom to send the packages and some else does, i tell the woman again to give me the number as soon as she has it, bc Zoom has an app you can check your package rute and status with that number, she said “okey amiga”.
That week, i could barely lift a fork i was suffering from whatever it was that happened to my hands until my mom found an Aloe Vera plant and i started to rub that gooey, viscose gel thingy on my hands and was slowly getting better, (seriously guys, Aloe Vera plants are a godsend keep one or 10 at home) by the time i suddenly remembered about the package it was Friday 24 the woman didn’t text me anything like she said would do and i didn’t receive any calls either all week, so friday i text her asking again for the tracking number and oh yes finally she has it! My happiness was short lived because……THE PACKAGE WAS RETURNED.
Something occurred and there was an error on the address or something (I triple checked all my personal info was in order before i gave it to her -thanks anxiety!- so i know it was not on me) i was so furious if only the woman had given me the friggin number sooner that week, i would have realized there was something wrong and would have gone to the Zoom on my city where the package was being held before it was returned to the capital. She told me she would send again my package that Friday BUT Zoom only works mon-fri not weekends. Now I need to wait till monday to receive my thing. great.
Monday 27 rolls in and that week i proceeded to text the woman EVERY SINGLE DAY asking if she had sent my package, i hated being a nuisance texting so much but it was necessary, money is getting short and we need food. 
On Wed 29 I even texted her a desperate plea, i told her please i need my power supply to start working again! and you know how she responded? BY LEAVING ME ON SEEN. i called her until she answered and she told me “oh i sent it today” she assured me, in the most unsure voice she could muster, that she totally did it.
So I went the next day to the Zoom office and surprise! it was a lie, she didn’t send anything, nada! again asked her for the new track.num. and she told me “amiga the thing is that …the package has not arrived here. is still in your State.“ [*record scratch*] hmm whAT?
I immediately called Zoom and asked them to tell me where my package is? Where is it!?, it’s still in my city or in the Capital?? So they gave me a number for the returned package to check on the app and…said it arrived at the Capital Fri. 24. Not only that but it was marked as "given to the client” aka the sender. 
Now I realize this woman has been lying to me. For a whole week. I text her screenshots of where the package was and she tells me that supposedly the package is not on Zoom there and insists it is here in my State. A friend knows someone that works on Zoom that checks their database and confirms that no, is not here anywhere and that definitely arrived in the Capital. even shows that a man named A. Rodriguez was the one that picked up the package. Who is this man?? what's going on?
here's a meme i sent my friends in the group chat while i was trying not to freak out about all this. 
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This has become a "she-said, he-said" situation because the woman keeps insisting Zoom is the one at fault about the whereabouts of my missing package but Zoom says Hold it! And slaps continuous evidence that shows the places where the package has been at all times. 
Meanwhile I’m like “where the hell is my power supply??? All I want is to work. Why is this happening to me?” ;_;
So far what we know:
Package arrived in my city but was returned to the city of origin (the Capital) on Friday 24.
The following week the store seller lied to me and would everyday promise to send the package again to me. and never did.
On Thursday 30 the woman tells me that the package never arrived from my city and she’s waiting for it to “arrive” but the shipping office tells me the package was returned a week ago on Fri. 24 so it’s impossible that it has not arrived. not for nothing they are called ZOOM they deliver fast.
the app even says “given to the client”, and one thing I know for a fact, is that it is near impossible to pick up a package from there without the friggin tracking number, they won’t even give you info about it without it. so it’s very unlikely that a random person just walked away with it.
so we have two possibilities: 
1. Someone from Zoom stole it. Ok, feasible. Corrupt people working on this kind of service in my country steal things of value all the time. still i doubt this was the case, the company seemed really concerned and would try their best to help me find my package giving me all the info i requested, even the name of the person who took it. 
2. the store seller lied again and the man who took the package is the same bike delivery guy that transported it there in the first place. That's how they were able to take it from there so easily. She denied knowing anyone named A. Rodriguez but she has lied before so i don’t trust her word. To me, this is the more likely scenario for what happened to the package. 
February comes and still I have no idea where is my package and the woman keeps making excuses as to why she “hasn’t found it” she again leaves me on seen after I asked for information, next day I called her non stop because now I’m pissed and i want answers, she finally text me that she will send another power supply since she “couldn’t find the first one” no further explanation whatsoever, and tells me will send it on Friday, but remember that Zoom don’t work on weekends so the new package will be staying on the Zoom office until Monday, my friend tells me that is not good what if the thief works there and steals it again? so I asked the woman to send it on Monday and she tells me that only Tuesdays they send all their stuff to be delivered….now she tells me the store have a specific delivery day? Now? 
I’m not happy about waiting for more days but there is nothing i can do about it so February 11 is here and I send the woman a text telling her to take a photo of the receipt with the tracking number so the story of the first package won’t repeat, and guess what? The woman left me on seen!! you don’t know how that blue seen mark got me shook. that stressed me so bad that finally I had enough, my friends encouraged me to cancel the order and ask for a refund, I stopped texting her on WhatsApp and left a ultimatum on the Mercado Libre chat, that way I had proof on that page of the fraud this woman was pulling on me and could get her banned there. I should have done that before but the need to repair my computer blinded me and was what kept me trying so hard to get my power supply. Desperation can drive you to make foolish decisions. 
After my ultimatum, the woman changed her tune and was very solicitous, and replied super fast, even said on the chat “let it be noted we are a serious company and always answered all your messages” yes, she said THAT, can you believe the audacity, the nerve? I immediately reply “since you didn’t answer any of my texts yesterday, can’t fault me for expressing here my concern about my purchase.”  Then I said very politely but with finality that if she did not send me the photo of the receipt with the tracking number the next day I would not hesitate bitch to ask for a refund. And what do you know? Worked like a charm. The next day the first thing in the morning on my phone was a photo of the receipt.
 SO yes this unnecessary long story has an anticlimactic but happy end after all! Next morning I happily went to the Zoom office and after a whole month of countless lies, unanswered texts, blood, sweat, and tears, I picked up mypower supply. Reunited at long last! This happened on February 14. Valentine’s Day. Love -and being persistent af- always wins! 
TL;DR I bought online a new power supply, the seller tried to scam me or something bc lied about how my purchase was “lost” saying the shipping company was the culprit. Sending me on a wild goose chase trying to find my package. i had to threaten her with a refund to get her to send me finally my power supply.
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bramblepatch · 5 years
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So here's the thing friends: my main computer, a Dell Studio laptop I've been limping along since college, is on its very last legs. The power supply is unreliable, to severely understate the matter. It's a hardware problem that'd be pricey to repair even if they still made the appropriate parts, which they don't, because the computer was manufactured circa 2011. I'm writing this from an even older netbook with a busted hinge that my uncle gave me a few years back and let me tell you, it is an experience using Windows XP in 2019. I'm coming unhinged from time.
Obviously this isn't ideal, especially for someone who would really like to be able to continue doing digital art with modern image editors. Also for someone who would like to continue experiencing linear time.
If you like my content here on tumblr - if you enjoy my art, or my playlists, or my fandom meta or social commentary or even just my shitposting - I'd like to ask you to consider helping me be able to afford a new computer.
So! Emergency commissions!
Single character portraits in pencil sketches or ink lineart
Headshots at $6 for pencil or $9 for ink
Busts (waist-up) at $9 for pencil or $15 for ink
Ask for a quote on 2+ characters or full-body art
Contact me through tumblr or via email at [email protected]
Pay up-front through ko-fi
No mecha, guro, sexually explicit material, underage nudity
Sorry, no color art at this time
If you'd like to support me without purchasing art, tips through ko-fi are always deeply appreciated, and patrons on Patreon vote on which OCs I draw each month (and get access to exclusive bonus art at higher tiers).
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dollarstoremorticia · 6 years
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Writing Advice by Some Guy
Even though I’ve written a very small amount of fics, I feel like I have some advice I can provide. 
Also since my previous advice posts continue to get overlooked because of my less than fantastic mouth I’m supplying a PG-13 list in somewhat good English of the previously mentioned advice under the read more for you to use as you please.
Enjoy.
Advice time:
1. Keeping your writing style natural. 
- Write like you talk or think. If you do this, you’re almost guaranteed to have the writing flow nicely for a good amount of people reading it. Like instead of using giant words in a big vocabulary, stick to what you’d say when you talk to a person. If it helps, think of it as you’re actually telling the fic to someone as you talk. 
Most of the time when you’re talking, you’re trying to convey the story as easily as possible with a tiny vocabulary, and that’s a very good way to tell a fic. If you find yourself constantly looking up definitions for words, or think “am I using this word right?” the people reading the thing will probably think the same thing.
- Keep in mind this isn’t for dialogue, since characters all have a different way of speaking. If a character uses big words, then by all means use those big words in their dialogue, but try to keep them to a minimum in the actual narrative.
Ex: 
“He gazed about the corridor for a sign of the other man’s presence” v.s “He looked around the room, waiting for a sign that someone was there with him”
2. Characterization 
- Continuing with characterization, try to relate to the character in at least one way. Usually, you can convey emotions easier when you relate at least a little bit. Like say you’re writing for a character who’s generally a funny person, and you like to think that you’re at least a bit funny. 
That’s something you have in common, and while you probably shouldn’t just make that character funny, because that would ironically be no fun for anyone involved, you at least have a base to go on now. Like when you see that character think “Funny” and then branch out from there.
- Remember, just because a character acts one way, doesn’t mean that they can’t feel other emotions.This is where you risk the possibility of being OOC, but in the long run at least you’re trying. Eventually after working with a character long enough you’ll probably end up getting really familiar with the way they act. 
- If you can, during every day situations, to get better at writing for certain characters, ask yourself “How would [character] react to this” and try to think of it. It may sound dumb, but it really does help. 
- Keep in mind that some characters will just be easier for you to write, and that’s fine! Just keep practicing with them, or don’t. If you can plan your story to avoid writing a certain character’s POV as much as possible that always works too.
3. Comedic timing
(I’m probably not a certified Funny Man, but since I write mainly comedy anymore I thought I’d include this)
- Use. Reference.
That’s right. You can use reference for comedy. Who knew, am I right? 
Now it might not be the same as using reference for a drawing, but it works in practically the same way. 
Listen around to different comedians or youtubers to find a style of comedy you like, and use that as your reference for comedic timing. Now I’m not saying completely take their jokes, just try to replicate their style of comedy in your writing while also making it your own. (Personally, my comedic style comes from people like Dane Cook, Brian Regan, Bo Burnham, John Mulaney, Drew Lynch, Game Grumps, and Jenna Marbles)
- Accept that people have a different sense of humor than you. Sometimes you’ll mean for something to be funny and somebody won’t think so, and that’s fine. And sometimes people will think something’s funny that you never thought was. Either way, accepting different senses of humor is definitely a step to writing comedy. 
- Don’t just write a meme in to be funny. Like sure, sometimes a meme or two is funny, but when you do it constantly it becomes predictable and not fun to read.
Instead, try relying on the dialogue or narrative. Memes are funny, yes, and I’m guilty of using them to get a laugh, but don’t use them too frequently. There’s other ways of telling a joke, but only you can figure out how to do that.  
- Keep the character in mind when making a situation funny. Sometimes a joke just won’t fit the character, and while you think it’d be funny, it just does not fit. If you’re stuck in that situation, make the joke a shitpost on tumblr or tell a group of friends instead so you can be funny, but also not take away from the story. 
- Sometimes its the little things that are funny. Not all jokes have to be long thought out things. Sometimes just writing a character in a funny shirt or writing a single word can be funnier than a long thought out joke. Like ‘pumpernickel’. The word ‘pumpernickel’ is hysterical.
4. Other bits of advice for the general writing process itself
- It’s okay to take inspiration from other writers. You can look at a writing style and be like “Yeah, I want to write more like that” but do not, under any circumstances, just copy a writing style. The fun thing about art in general is that you have the power to express yourself in any way you want, which is ruined by just copying someone else’s work. 
- PRACTICE. You might get tired of hearing people say this, but the only way you get better is through practice. You don’t have to post everything you write, but don’t stop doing it. It’s how you develop your writing style.
- Use said. For gods sake, don’t listen to those people who say ‘Don’t use said.’ Most of the time when you talk you’re simply saying things. Actually, if you’re good at writing dialogue you can convey the emotion through the dialogue itself. OR. Or, you can write an action instead of the ‘said’ or ‘exclaimed’ that portrays the emotion the character is feeling. Actually this makes your writing flow nicer in my opinion.
But that aside, using ‘said’ is much easier to read, and much more natural then not using it.
- Avoid onomatopoeia. Now I’m talking like ‘tch’ and stuff like that. Mouth sounds. Avoid writing out mouth sounds. It just looks weird.
- Don’t write a stutter in that weird way that most people write stutters. T-this i-isn’t h-how p-people s-stutter.
Instead of writing a stutter like that, take the time to listen to somebody with a stutter. It’s not like that, and actually if you take the time to read that way out loud it just sounds weird. Instead, people with stutters, or people who stutter sometimes when they talk sound more like this: 
“Some-sometimes I ge-get ner-ervous on air-airplanes”
You don’t just say one letter. You’re saying part of the word when you stutter, and your writing should reflect that.
- Please don’t write giant ungodly paragraphs that take up the whole page. These are okay sometimes, but as a person with dyslexia and some sort of attention disorder, it’s hard to focus the entire time. Seriously I complain about this all the time, but I get that sometimes its hard not to use big paragraphs. I’m not saying every paragraph has to be like 2 sentences long. I’m just saying, if you think “I could split this up into 2 paragraphs” its probably best to do that.
- Sometimes you need a break from writing, and ultimately, unless writing is your actual job (in which case why are you getting advice from a 17 year old loser on the internet), only you dictate when the next chapter comes out. If you need a break, literally nobody is stopping you from doing so. 
5. Dealing with comments and other things
- You get to say whether you take constructive criticism or not. I, personally, do not. I say that I’ll get better in my own time. 
Taking or not taking constructive criticism doesn’t make you a better or worse person. You just have a different way of dealing with things.
- Don’t be a fucking asshole. It’s that simple. Whether you’re commenting on something you didn’t really like, or are receiving a negative comment, don’t be a dick. Sometimes people won’t like what you do, and sometimes you won’t like something that somebody else did. Either way, don’t be rude. You’re a human. Act like it.
- You don’t have to reply to every comment. I’m guilty of thinking this, but I soon realized that you sometimes just have nothing to say in reply to someone. Don’t worry about it. 
___
Alright! End of advice. I hope you got something from it. Literally, this shit is all based off of my writing style, so in the end it might not help at all. I’m not even really qualified to give advice,, but I thought I would anyway. Especially with comedy.
I am in no way a comedian of any sort, and therefore don’t really get to say what is or isn’t funny. 
I am also not really a writer either. I write fics from time to time that people seem to like.
Either way I hope this advice was helpful in some way. Also remember, just because you aren’t as good as you’d like at something right now doesn’t mean you wont’ get better with practice.
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