I have 2 goals in life-
1- Be a therapist
2- Get an english degree so I can write professional level fanfiction
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So, it’s official. My thesis director approved my idea.
I guess I’m writing an autoethnography about deconstruction and religious trauma through the narrative of Ghost lyrics. I would say “Lord help me”, but I don’t think that works here.
That being said... if you have a Ghost song that helped you through deconstruction or with your religious trauma, drop the title here. I'm building a playlist of religious trauma tracks. Lol
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IM IN A CLASS FOR MY SHORT STORY MODULE AND WE HAD TO BRING IN SOME SHORT STORIES WE LIKE AND SOMEONE'S BROUGHT IN MINECRAFT FANFICTION. WE'RE HAVING AN IN DEPTH DISCUSSION ABOUT MINECRAFT FF, MY WHOLE DEGREE IS SO UNSERIOUS 😭😭😭😭
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Before the Fall 6.19.23
“Slam! Into Opportune Earth"
Standing on a precipice, thankful for the world at my feet
Reluctant from the fear of defeat, knowing that if I dive
There’s a chance I’ll be beat
Experience has taught me that it’s better to arrive
Being alive is worth the painful growth spurt
Wiping the ash from my face, when I’m down I’ll revive
Standing up taller, I’ll call her next time, no matter the hurt
Wiggle my toes on the edge I’m alert, balanced not to false start
Swimming I’ll keep my head up, but dry? I’d sooner exert
Hands held up higher for rainfall, praying any clouds never depart
Watching that windswept dance is art I’d imitate were I able
If I think then I am, so says Descartes
Devil’s rain, is plain and painful, so share bread at my table
I may never be Clark Gable, but you’ve believed my acting
What’s the rush with reacting, I’ll be the Cain to your Abel
Find me a rock, I’ll find you a hard place in late spring
I’d give you a ring, when I the struggle is over
Covered in dirt I’m still racing, hiding offstage in the left-most wing
Cliffs of Moher beat the White Cliffs of Dover
When trying to look over and lose your stomach at sea
Call me up I’m ready to come over, red rover red rover
I’ve kissed the Blarney stone and I’m asking for money-back guarantee
Stutter and flutter, my tongue-detainee, is useless at best to impress
How I’m still going is anyone’s guess, despite my four-year degree
There’s a staircase ascending – to Heaven? Unsure, I’ll confess
If cleanliness be to godliness, my bedroom, a mess, I am a devil
Like the fall, so too the rain fall, from my eyes no crocodile tears will caress
Through sword and flame we’ll sort the blame of more than several
Wipe the slate clean and ready a level, this borderline balancing act grows old
Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor or so I’m told, yet all worth the revel
If a phoenix can falter mid-flight having grown cold
Realight and ignite in the gold medal fight
Am I prepared to place my bets at the precipice, a life to be sold
My skills aren’t productive, reductive at best for stories at night
I’ll lead you on journeys for constant delight should ever we meet
Whether a clover, four leafed, or a leaf fall, my impact will be anything but light
@env0writesC.Buck
Ko-Fi & Venmo: @Zenv0
Support Your Local Artist!
Photo by @env0
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You can have the Oxford Comma once you pry it from my cold, dead, and lifeless hands.
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091022 | colby actually posting study content? shocking, i know. but have some photos of some notes/book for my class on the canterbury tales.
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God gives his hardest battles (doing the work for the degree they willingly signed up for) to his most stupid and whiny soldiers (me)
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forever gonna be furious about the fact that I have to look for reference pictures to show my barber and I can’t just say I wanna look like a 30-something white lesbian faculty member in the english department and they would instantly get it
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Hitting the last leg of thesis editing after 6 hours like:
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18 May 2022// studying at the coffee shop for a few hours. Then getting to finish Animal Farm
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Master's Update:
I am on page 14 of my thesis on Ghost and religious trauma. I am so freaking tired, but that's the halfway point! Almost there!
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diary entry thirteen
I sucessfully negotiated with my current main benefactor to getting me a bonus and in typical me-style I will use it to enhance my career prospects. In detail that means I will be using that money to
A: attend an academic conference in september and do some networking there.
B: I will use the rest of the money to get professional photos taken of me; mostly headshots for my professional social media and to add to my resume. Once I start applying for jobs again I want to try a new approach and utilise my youthful looks as much as I can - a tactic Ive heretofore avoided because I look very young and employers don’t often ascribe competence to women who look like they’re fresh out of highschool.
C: Next I am going to save much of it for my next big self-improvement project: a higher degree. Either a master’s or maybe something in business...
And if I feel like it I’ll use some of it to get my passport renewed. LOL
💎here’s to advancing to higher levels 💎
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open tumblr
"sex scenes are never necessary"
close tumblr
rethink whether or not i want to pursue a career centered around media literacy
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