#emotions & being openly angry without | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cosmicjoke · 3 months

Text

Okay, chapter 56 of Saezuru!

First, I just want to give a huge thanks to @itwearsadress for providing such a quick and amazing translation for all of us!

So, this chapter was extremely, extremely interesting.

My main impression here is that, while there's definitely been a breakthrough of sorts between Yashiro and Doumeki, there's still a great deal of fear and uncertainty in both of them. The entire first half of this chapter was Yashiro trying, in vain, to avoid Doumeki's probing questions. To me, Yashiro came across as really terrified, and I think that terror was coming from the genuine belief that Doumeki was just messing with him, basically using his new found knowledge of Yashiro's impotency as a way to be unkind. Normally, this sort of thing wouldn't bother Yashiro, at least, not consciously, but he's in love with Doumeki. Really, really deeply in love. And we see what his perception that Doumeki is being intentionally cruel is doing to him. It's Yashiro's attempt to shield himself from that kind of hurt, the hurt of loving and not being loved in return, that's making him so resistant at first. I really, truly think Yashiro doesn't know that Doumeki loves him, at this point, and I think maybe he's never, truly known it. We have to remember, Yashiro's self-image is completely warped. He's believed all his life that he's not a person worthy of love, or even capable of being loved. His experience with Kage only served to reinforce that notion in his head.

I'll get more into this in a minute. But first, I want to talk about Doumeki's internal thoughts at the beginning, and what I think it means for the end of the chapter. Doumeki says to himself that he's been concealing his emotions to keep Yashiro from running away. Basically, we finally get a definitive answer explaining why Doumeki's been so cold to Yashiro. It's not so much that Doumeki is afraid of Yashiro's rejection, or that he's angry at Yashiro for that rejection, but more so that he just doesn't want to create a situation again in which Yashiro runs from him. He's trying to keep Yashiro at his side. At the end of the chapter, when Yashiro asks him what kind of sex this is that they're having, Doumeki very deliberately says that he's "a man without principles" and that he's just doing this to have sex. He's saying there's no emotion involved. That he's not "in love" with Yashiro and wanting to have sex with him because of it, but simply that he gets physical gratification from having sex with Yashiro, and that's it. I think Doumeki is saying here what he thinks Yashiro wants him to say, or what he wants to hear, because he thinks it's what will keep Yashiro around.

Basically, it seems to me that while there's some unspoken understanding between them, I think they're both still very much pretending here. Even if Doumeki suspects or knows that Yashiro cares for him, he still thinks Yashiro wants to pretend there's no emotion involved. That that's what's required to keep Yashiro with him.

The awful thing is, this is exactly the opposite of what Yashiro actually wants.

Yashiro's almost startled look after Doumeki says this, followed by a sort of sad resignation, makes me think that he believes it. Because when they first met, Yashiro plainly stated that anyone who developed feelings for him would be turned out. I think Yashiro looks sadly resigned here because he wants Doumeki to tell him he loves him again, he wants Doumeki to tell him he cares about him, but he doesn't, and Yashiro no doubt blames himself for that. I think Yashiro is, once again, resigning himself to the idea that whatever chance he had with Doumeki, he blew. He wants the Doumeki from before, who so openly expressed his love for him, but he seems to really believe that chance has passed him by. That he's ruined it. . He WANTS Doumeki to tell him he loves him, but if he can't and won't, he'll take the next best thing, which is just having Doumeki with him. So he just accepts it. He just accepts this idea that Doumeki has no feeling for him beyond the mutual, physical pleasure they share.

Now back to the first half of the chapter and what it tells us about Yashiro's state of mind.

Yashiro looks truly mortified for a moment when Doumeki shows him the memory card and asks him if he knows what's on it, before falling back into an apathetic attitude. That one panel where we get a close up of Yashiro's eyes shows us almost a moment of panic from him, and I think that comes from the sudden realization that Doumeki must now know he's impotent with everyone but him. I think this causes panic in Yashiro, again, because he desperately doesn't want to have to face Doumeki's rejection, and so he doesn't want Doumeki to know he has feelings for him. Doumeki discovering that Yashiro can't get it up with Inami, or anyone else, is tantamount to Doumeki discovering that Yashiro has feelings for him, which leaves Yashiro vulnerable to Doumeki's rejection. So we see Yashiro go into an extremely defensive mode at this point, pretending to brush it off, acting like he doesn't care if Doumeki watches it, acting like he's not ashamed or embarrassed. Yashiro's acting unbothered, but he's clearly freaking out inside. When Doumeki presses, saying "It seems that it's quite different with me", we again get a close up of Yashiro's eyes, showing a panicked, desperate expression, before he again tries to brush it off as just that "sort of play", trying to paint it as meaningless. Again, he's trying desperately to hide his feelings for Doumeki, to keep Doumeki from discovering those feelings. I think Yashiro's attempts at evasion here need to be understood through the lens of Yashiro's fear, and his belief that Doumeki doesn't care about him anymore. He thinks if Doumeki realizes Yashiro loves him, he'll either purposefully use it to hurt him, or just hurt him through rejection. So he keeps playing it off as no big deal.

But Doumeki keeps pressing, because he knows Yashiro is putting on an act here. He asks Yashiro why it is he's so satisfied with him, and again, Yashiro looks panicked. I think the following exchange is really important to understanding what's going on here with Yashiro specifically.

He knows he's trapped now. I think he knows Doumeki realizes that he can only get it up with him because he has feelings for him. We see again a resigned defeat in Yashiro's expression when Doumeki asks him if he remembers how many times he came. The important thing here is that, after answering that he doesn't, Doumeki says he doesn't either, and again, we see Yashiro's eyes up close, looking startled and hurt, and he slips again into pretending like none of it matters. Again, he becomes defensive, saying sarcastically that Doumeki is just being "mean" now. But Yashiro's expression here is very telling. He's smiling when he says the above line, but I think he means it. I think Yashiro's feelings are genuinely hurt. He thinks Doumeki is messing with him on purpose at this point. That he's rubbing it in, maybe to get back at Yashiro for how he treated him before the time skip. I think this exchange is, once again, reinforcing for Yashrio the belief that he's ruined any chance he might have had to be with Doumeki, and turned Doumeki against him, to the point that he thinks Doumeki wants to hurt him.

Doumeki meanwhile seems to be getting frustrated with Yashiro's continued evasion. We see his hands curling into fists when he asks Yashiro from what point it was he started to feel his body had chemistry with Doumeki's. He wants Yashiro to just confess that he has feelings for him, but Yashiro won't do it. I think, from Yashiro's perspective, he thinks Doumeki is just continuing to rub it in and is enjoying this, needling Yashiro, messing with him. Doumeki isn't, but again, this is from Yashiro's perspective. So we see Yashiro, again, get defensive, lashing out by asking Doumeki about his woman. Yashiro's hurt is obvious here. He's upset that Doumeki seems to be screwing with him, using his feelings against him, and so he lets his hurt over Doumeki's involvement with his woman come out. Again, it reeks of desperation on Yashiro's part. He's trying anything and everything to protect himself from the pain Doumeki's causing him, but he's only exposing himself further by doing so.

And Doumeki again calls him out on it, observing that it's unusual for Yashiro to show an interest in his personal life. Doumeki has Yashiro trapped again, basically telling him that he knows Yashiro is lying by acting like he doesn't care. Yashiro is on the back foot during this entire exchange. And again Yashiro gets incredibly defensive, this time standing up and trying to end the conversation. He knows he's got no way out of this now, no way to pretend any longer that he doesn't care, so he tries to escape it by fleeing. But Doumeki doesn't let him.

We once more see Yashiro lash out defensively, tearing away from Doumeki and telling him what he does in his life has nothing to do with him. His hurt again shows itself when he tells Doumeki that he's got no reason to "fuck" him anymore and that he should just go do it with his woman. Again, I think this exchange is super important. Yashiro is showing once more that he genuinely still thinks Doumeki doesn't care for him. His jealousy over Doumeki's woman is his despair over losing Doumeki coming out. We see once more Yashiro's resigned expression when Doumeki tells him that just like it's not his business who Yashiro has sex with, it's not Yashiro's business either who Doumeki has sex with. Yashiro's resigned expression here tells me again that he thinks he's lost Doumeki. I think Yashiro is operating during this entire exchange with the belief that Doumeki is just there to torment him. That's backed up by Yashiro's next words, when he asks Doumeki what it is he came there to do, and then accuses him of being there just to confirm that Yashiro can't get it up with anyone else and "take pity" on him. Yashiro's expression becomes one of apathy again as he says this. It's clear he's trying to shield himself. He thinks Doumeki is trying to hurt him.

But Doumeki of course isn't trying to hurt Yashiro, he's trying to get him to admit his feelings, and he just keeps pressing, because he knows he has Yashiro trapped.

One more really important exchange happens here, I think, when Doumeki presses Yashiro about how sex doesn't feel good to him with anyone else but him. Yashiro says "So what if that's true? You... You were only doing this to satisfy my sexual urges. What benefit is there to you?"

Doumeki's expression is startled here when Yashiro says this, and then in the next panel, it becomes soft, even sad. I think Doumeki realizes in that moment that Yashiro really believes that Doumeki never had any, real feelings for him, and that he only ever wanted to have sex with him for Yashiro's benefit, not because he was genuinely attracted to or in love with him. I think Yashiro's words here break Doumeki's heart, because of how truly sad that is.

And I think that sadness in Doumeki is compounded by his own belief that he can't just tell Yashiro he loves him. He says, in response, "The body chemistry is mutual". It's the best he can do without actually saying he loves Yashiro, because he still thinks, if he says that, Yashiro will run away. He doesn't realize how much Yashiro WANTS to hear Doumeki say it. Like I said, they're both still pretending here, because they both are still operating under false beliefs about the other. Yashiro under the belief that Doumeki doesn't love him and never has, and Doumeki under the belief that Yashiro will again run away if he confesses his feelings.

And then comes the big moment that everyone keeps talking about, which is an indirect confession from Yashiro of his feelings for Doumeki, when Doumeki says in reply to Yashiro's accusation that Doumeki has said some cruel things to him, "You liked cruel things, didn't you?"

I think Yashiro's expressions here are vital to understanding this exchange too.

Again, Yashiro, for a moment before his answer, looks stricken. The thing is, Yashiro DOESN'T like cruel things. He wants Doumeki, and he wants the Doumeki of before, the one who was so kind toward him. But he can't ask for that, because he still thinks Doumeki doesn't care about him, and he can't leave himself open to the kind of pain he'll experience with the rejection of his feelings. The next panel shows Yashiro with what I would call a resigned smile on his face as he says "I do". I think this is Yashiro saying he likes cruel things still, because he thinks it's the only way he'll get Doumeki now. This new version of Doumeki that doesn't love him, but is willing to have sex with him. It is an indirect confession on Yashiro's part, but it's once again predicated on Yashiro laboring under the belief that Doumeki doesn't love him.

It's really kind of a catch-22 between them, because Doumeki doesn't think he can say he loves Yashiro without driving him away, even as it seems he knows Yashiro cares for him, and Yashiro wants Doumeki to say he loves him, but can't bring himself to ask for it because he thinks Doumeki doesn't love him.

Basically, it's still a mess between them, even as we see a kind of acceptance happen at last in this chapter.

I think people tend to forget that Saezuru is, by and large, a tragedy, and there's a definite air of tragedy to this chapter. A lot of the expressions between Yashiro and Doumeki strike me as heartbreaking, resigned, sad, fearful, etc... I think that kind of encapsulates the general feeling of this chapter. It's definite progress, but it's progress that's still greatly hampered by misunderstanding.

Another amazing and nuanced chapter from Yoneda. I'm extremely eager to see what comes with chapter 57. I'm happy we'll be getting the next chapter at the end of March!

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #saezuru spoilers #chapter 56 #Yashiro #Doumeki

236 notes · View notes

house-of-slayterr · 3 months

Note

beloved <3 what are you Halsin headcanons??

ps do you also like the polymance w Astarion? i wanna know your takes!! <3

Omg ok it’s happening!!! Ahhhh!

Halsin:

Halsin attempts to be a gentle man in his conscious actions. He wants to be soft and cause as little unnecessary harm as possible. That being said, with his size that’s a difficult thing to be. I feel he grows frustrated easy when he accidentally breaks things (or people). But on the flip side, if you unleash his rage, this hardly a way to put a lid on it. He’s a large beast, and as such, it seems so are his emotional states. He is terrifying to the enemy and it’s such a harsh contrast to him off the battle field when he’s safe and happy. It’s something I think sets him aside more than the other companions.

Halsin is also a patient man. It takes a lot of patients and self control to be someone with his gifts. The world is lucky his quicker to compassion than to draw his claws, and bear his teeth. I feel like he’s one to give several warnings.

He’s a very goofey guy. This man has a full belly laugh like good old American Santa Klaus. All of camp can hear it when you make him laugh. The best place to be in the world is with him lying on his back, and you on top of him during a sunset as you try to tell little stories to feel his chest rumble. It lulls you to sleep like a purring cat after awhile, like a sleeping agent for your heart, calming it in all the chaos. (Bear cubs can purr like cats sometimes and it’s adorable)

He’s an old romantic. I feel like this man like to try to play things by the book in his head. He knows what relationships are supposed to look like and sound like and he sounds so stiff when he starts off by using his “script” it works because by the gods does he have that shit down to pretty much a sex science at this point, knowing exactly what to say to get what he wants. But that’s not what draws you in. It’s the potential of getting the spontaneity out of him. Getting him to say things he normally wouldn’t, how he normally wouldn’t. Add people he normally wouldn’t. He’s a very flexible man, he’s happy as long as you’re happy. But his best flirting comes when he’s tried, or angry, or those rare moment he gets jealous. Lord help you if Halsin is jealous and the solution is he can’t just have both of you- good luck walking anytime soon.

He’s very in tune with his emotions. He’s a sensitive guy. I mean he loves ducks for fucks sake. This man is precious. He will treat you as if you are such too. Everyone is small and fragile compared to him. He’ll protect your body, mind, soul and feelings with his life. Defend you with his last breath, do anything just to bring a smile to your face. This man is nothing if not devoted 100% to what he does. He starts to become in touch with your emotions too. Being able to sense them from halfway across camp and always comes running ready to be your Druid in shining armour

Now Astarion is a different beast literally , literally… he is a vampire. I wouldn’t say there’s much in common between vampires and Bears. I’d say other than their insatiable appetites. This spritely little elf is more akin to a cat than a bear.

The dynamic is different apart of course, but if you’re with Halsin first, he’ll notice. He’s not an idiot, far from it actually. He pays close attention to his darling and their needs and wants. Especially when it comes to body language. He wouldn’t exactly be mad you’re attracted to Astarion, he can’t blame you. He’d be more upset the longer he observed this attraction grow and you either said or did nothing about it.

I know I said earlier Halsin is a patient man, but one thing he’s not patient for is watching you “suffer” which might be a dramatic word in this case (Astarion would find it quite fitting, you suffering without his love) he will call you out on this attraction quite quickly and ask as politely and openly as possibly what you want to do about it. It’s no secret the wood elf may also find said vampire attractive.

Astarion would agree too it, not without some fuss at first, calming theatrics of wanting you all to himself but it’s fine to share with some “oaf” as if he too is not attracted to the Druid. Honestly if you keep your sanity during this phase of the relationship, congratulations love, you’ve survived the hardest hardship in all of Baulder’s gate.

But once that awkward phase is over. RIP your legs again. RIP your everything actually. Bestie are you sure you want to do this? A bear and a vampire. In love and obsessed with you… wanting to ravage you body at your earliest convince pretty much multiple times a day when they can? Yeah yeah- you’re totally sane, totally cool, totally normal. The rest of your companions aren’t looking at you like you’re the scariest motherfucker to ever walk this earth. Between the bite marks and the claw marks, and let’s be honest now you’ve probably dislocated a hip at least once- how are you feeling? Truly. That being said, they do go easy on you sometimes and give you a break and let you watch them go at each other , and boy is that a sight. (I’m not drooling, you’re drooling)

It’s the after sex but that’s really what you carve though. The part that makes you feel safe and whole and loved. They wouldn’t dare part from you even if the entire camp was engulfed in flames in that moment. Nothing could pry them from their lovers side. They look at you like you put the moon on the sky, the your he very reason their hearts beat, like you’re the only reason they’re still fighting (probably half the reason they’re still standing, let’s be honest, you’ve saved they’re asses more than enough times and they’re so greatful for that) but it’s these moments that you crave. There simple, full of love and lust and simple honest words and looks and touches. Everything so easy, and feels right.

It would be a moment like this one of your boys would choose to make this arrangement permanent. Perhaps Astarion with an off handed comment. Something about “well maybe we should just wed eternally, I hear honeymoon sex is even better” he would grin like a vampire at a blood bank. And it would be silly, but it would be genuine. Halsin would make him try again and give you something proper later if you asked. Or on the flip side, after a hard battle, Halsin would scoop you both up in his arms kissing you each deeply and say “we ahh like join our hearts as one, so we never fear one it’s like to be apart” and even though the situations not ideal and you may be exhausted and covered and dirt and blood and whatever else, it’s the three of you and that’s what matters.

The sleeping arrangements are simple. It’s always Halsin’s tent. That man in massive. Astarion won’t admit it but he creeps into his tent about halfway through each night, never wanting to start on his arms but always craving them. And you sleep happily on top of him, squishing both your boys as close to you as possible. And they wouldn’t have it any other way. They love you and you love them, it’s plain for all the world to see.

AN: sorry if this is bad, I don’t own the game, all I have to go on is fan fics, behind the scenes, fan info, and watching my friends play the game and info dump about it. If anything is inaccurate I’m so sorry 😭 I tried based on how I view them at least.

#Halsin #baulders gate 3 #halsin x astarion #astarion x reader #halsin x reader #bg3 headcanons #polycule

206 notes · View notes

swimmingismywholelife · 10 months

Text

The Only Reason

Summary: Even though your relationship with Christian has been rocky, neither of you are willing to go down without a fight.

Warnings: 18+, arguments, panic attack, a lot of crying, angst but a fluffy (if you can call it that I guess) ending, SMUT, some dirty talk, soft dom!Chris, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it and make sure you're not allergic to your wrap!), fingering, oral (f receiving), creampie, the smut is sweet tbh

WC: 4.4K

A/N: It's my birthday but this is a present for all of you! Inspired by "The Only Reason" by 5 Seconds of Summer. My first attempt at smut which lowkey I wasn't supposed to add but it fit anyway. This is a step considering I'm openly horny on main now so you might see more in the future 👀. I literally changed it 1274045923845 times but I'm happy with the way it turned out so I hope you guys think it's good-

"Even though my dizzy head is numb

I swear my heart is never giving up.

You're the reason

The only reason."

~~~

The front door slammed shut, indicating Christian was finally home from training. You sighed, praying this would blow over quickly so you could enjoy your dinner.

The past few weeks had been incredibly frustrating for the both of you. Chelsea had been on a losing streak with hardly any goals and Christian hardly got any play time. He was in the middle of trying to negotiate some sort of deal with the club, either to transfer or give him more playing time. Although it wasn't the option he preferred, it was likely he'd be transferred somewhere else soon, and with that contract talks had to be opened. He loved Chelsea, but the club didn't seem to return that love to him. It heavily weighed on Christian's mind, slowly draining him of the love he had for the sport, sending him deeper into a depressive and angry spiral causing him lash out on everyone.

On top of that, your own stresses had started building up. Your workload had tripled due to you being short staffed. Every time you thought you were done with a project, a modification was added or a brand new one was added to your list of things to do. You were working overtime almost every single day and you were close to ripping your hair out.

Between your work and Christian's training, you'd hardly seen each other over the past few months. He'd been extra short with you recently, something that was pretty unusual for Christian. You were typically the one who struggled to keep your anger in check, but these days it seemed your boyfriend could give you a run for your money. Most days you spent sleeping away from each other as opposed to being cuddled in each others arms. During the very brief moments you did end up spending time together, more often than not it resulted in some kind of an argument.

You both agreed earlier that morning that you were in desperate need of some kind of date night to ease your minds and to spend time together. You decided that a simple dinner would be sufficient enough. It was something small, you wouldn't have to go anywhere, and it was always one of your favorite date ideas since you'd gotten together. You were excited to finally spend time with your boyfriend even if it wasn't anything fancy.

But you knew by the way Christian slammed the door that he thought otherwise. He angrily threw his training bag to the side, grumbling to himself.

"Chris, it doesn't do you any good to pace angrily around the house," you sighed. "At least come eat and try to take your mind off things."

It seemed you only made him angrier.

"God, what don't you get?!" he snapped back. "Fucking food isn't gonna help the situation. Our team is shit, this situation is shit, everything is shit!"

You stood up from your place at the table, upset with Christian for yelling at you when you just wanted to help.

"I understand you're frustrated with everything, but don't take it out on me!" you yelled back. "All I'm trying to do is help you. I'm not a fucking emotional punching bag for you to take your shit out on Christian!"

He slammed his hands on the table, the sound echoing throughout the entire house. It startled you. Christian wasn't one to express his anger through violence like this.

"Why do I even keep fucking trying with you?! All you do is nag and nag and nag! You keep 'trying to help' but you're not!" he screamed back. "All you do is get in my face of 'oh Christian do this,' 'oh Christian try and do that.' Get out of my face for once I'm fucking tired of it!"

You were stunned. Your heart with each word Christian spat out at you. You loved him, but you knew you didn't deserve what he'd been giving you for the past few months.

"Fine. I'll 'get out of your face,'" you said calmly.

"Actually you know what? I'll do it myself. Being in here suffocates me," he said venomously, grabbing his keys and storming out the house.

You moved into the bedroom the two of you shared. What once felt like home to you felt like a prison suffocating you the longer you stood in it. And you just fell to your knees and cried.

You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment where it all started going wrong. You and Christian weren't perfect of course, but you just worked. You understood each other like no one else. You'd experienced things together that you'd never had with other people. You hadn't grown up with Christian in the past, but that didn't matter. He was your present and was going to be your future.

But that was then. Somewhere along the way, things changed. Nowadays he barely made time for you. He was gone before you woke up and you were asleep before he came home. Date nights were nonexistent, special occasions stopped being special. You couldn't keep begging for his attention, wondering if this time would be enough to keep it.

You didn't want things to end. That was absolutely the last thing you wanted to do. You loved Christian with everything you had. But you were the only one trying and you both knew that. Somewhere Christian just fell out of love with you while you were desperately trying to grasp onto something. But it was no use. He was gone a long time ago.

Christian was in the middle of figuring out the trajectory of his career, unsure if he was to wait out his contract with Chelsea for the next season or leave for a club that truly appreciated him. And pretty soon, he would be flying back to the States for international break. The last thing you wanted to do was add onto the stress Christian was feeling.

But how long would you have to keep sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of his?

Christian didn't come home that night, nor the night after that, nor the night after that. Not that you really expected him to. He hadn't been home all that much anyway, and even while he was there physically, he wasn't there. So sleeping alone in your bed wasn't that much of a foreign feeling anymore anyway. And the longer he was away, the foggier your mind became. The answer was right there in front of you. This was Christian blatantly telling you how he felt about your relationship. Right?

It wasn't until about a week later that Christian had contacted you, letting you know he'd be coming back that night. You mentally prepared yourself for the worst.

The door opened, causing you to snap out of your thoughts. You could hear the clattering of the keys being placed on the table and footsteps heading up the stairs.

The lights flickered in your bedroom. Your eyes met his, startling him.

"Oh hey, I didn't realize you'd still be up," Christian said surprised, removing his jacket and placing it on a chair.

"We need to talk Christian," you said, trying to prevent your voice from wavering.

"We'll talk in the morning, Y/N. It's kind of late and I don't want another fight right now," he responded.

"I'm serious Christian," you answered, feeling your heart breaking already. "And I don't think this can wait until morning."

"Why do you keep using my full name?" Christian asked uncomfortably. "You only use it like this when something's really wrong."

You didn't answer. Instead you got up from your place on the bed and hugged his waist, completely breaking down. You felt like you couldn't breathe through all the tears and the pain you felt. Your body gave out as you fell to the ground, taking Christian with you.

For a second time that night, Christian was surprised. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, kissing your head.

"Hey, hey, baby what's wrong? What's going on?" he asked.

You couldn't get the words out. You only cried harder as he led you back to your bed. You took in this moment with him, not knowing if this was the last night you would sharing with him. You tried to memorize the scent of his favorite cologne, how perfectly you fit into his arms, the way his kisses felt. You wanted to remember how safe you felt with Christian and how your heart longed for him to come home to you.

"It's okay, baby, it's okay. I'm right here. I won't ever let anything hurt you," he said, trying to soothe you.

Little did he realize he was the reason you were hurting so much.

You held Christian close to you as the weight of your decision started to kick in. You wanted nothing more in this world than to be with Christian. He meant everything to you. You wanted it all with him. You wanted to marry him one day, carry his children, grow old together. You wanted to wear his last name to every game he played, to support him as he reached all his dreams. You could have nothing but Christian and you would be perfectly content.

Your mother had told you growing up that every scenario that came your way had three answers: yes, no, or wait. And you so desperately wanted to believe Christian was your sign that being patient was worth it. That waiting would be worth it. That one day it would bring you the happiness you craved and you deserved.

But how long were you supposed to wait? How long had you waited for him to fulfill his promises? How long had you been patient with him? How long had you stayed loyal every time he'd taken his anger out on you? How long had you been contemplating if you were worth saving? Was this just patience or were you holding onto something that you should've let go of a long time ago?

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier baby," he said, stroking your hair trying to soothe you. "I didn't mean it. I love you so much. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry."

You couldn't get words out. You needed just one last night to call yourself his before you could make your final decision.

"Just hold me please," you sobbed out, gripping his body as hard as you could.

"I'll do whatever you need baby. I'm right here. I'll always be right here."

Christian was scared. He didn't fully understand what was going on or why you were crying the way you were. But he knew something was off and something was wrong. So he just held you as you let out all the emotions you'd been feeling for weeks.

Christian knew it was more serious than he initially thought when you kept crying for over an hour. He didn't realize how absent he'd been from your life until then. How long had you been feeling such emotional turmoil? What else had he missed? Why were you crying this hard for so long?

Truthfully, he was afraid to find out. As shitty of a boyfriend he'd been over the past few weeks, Christian loved you with every fiber of his being. The last thing he wanted to do was lose you, the relationship you'd built up for years together.

But he knew the likelihood of a break up was probably looming in your mind. Was this it? Was this a sign that something was coming to an end? He didn't want to know. He knew you two needed to talk, especially after the way he walked out. But he was afraid of the outcome.

So he just held you close to him, praying this wouldn't be the last time he got to feel you like this. He took in your scent, trying to memorize the way you felt in his arms. He left kisses on your forehead, shoulders, and cheeks, wiping the tears away as he went.

You eventually calmed down, your grip on Christian never loosening.

"Christian I-" you gasped out.

"It's okay baby, take your time. You don't have to rush anything you don't want to," he whispered gently, kissing your forehead again.

"I'm sorry," you said quietly.

"Baby, you have nothing to be sorry about," he said. "If anything, I should be the one who's sorry. I've been such a horrible boyfriend. I shouldn't have said what I said, I shouldn't have done what I did."

"Christian…" you trailed.

"Shh, it's okay baby. It's okay. We don't have to talk about this right now. We can talk about this in the morning. Just let me hold you right now. Everything is going to be okay," he said softly.

"Chris I'm scared," you whispered.

His heart broke a little knowing you were scared of what morning would entail.

"I'm scared too baby. I'm so fucking scared," he admitted. "But we'll talk about this when it comes okay? Just be here with me now. Nothing else is going to hurt you tonight I promise."

The two of you were laying on your side facing each other. Your head was tucked into his chest, tears flowing every so often. Christian never once let go, not even when his arms started going numb. You were afraid to close your eyes, scared that Christian would be gone the moment you opened them.

Your body stopped shaking and you eventually stopped crying during the early morning hours. You were quiet. And if he didn't know you well, Christian would've believed you were asleep.

But he knew better. He knew that you couldn't sleep because neither could he. Just two souls barely hanging on by a thread not knowing how to fix it.

Did you want to fix things? Or were things so far gone there was nothing you could do anymore? Was this still worth it? Was a future still possible? Would love be enough to save this?

You were set on breaking up with him the night before. You were so sure that's what you wanted. But under the moonlight that peaked through your window, you didn't know what to do anymore. Your head was dizzy with thoughts and you couldn't think clearly anymore.

"Christian?" you called out quietly.

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing?"

His body tensed at the question. He was quiet at first, not wanting to say the wrong thing. He knew this was it. His answer would either make or break your relationship.

"I don't know baby," he answered honestly.

You nestled your head further into his chest.

"I don't want to keep doing this. Guessing if you still want us. You're either in or you're out Chris. I don't want to keep playing your games."

Christian had to stop himself from letting out a sob and took a deep breath. You didn't trust him or his words anymore. And realizing that absolutely broke his heart.

"Can you look at me Y/N?" he asked.

You hesitated for a moment before lifting your head. Christian cupped your cheek with his hand, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth. He rested his forehead on yours.

"You don't have to say anything okay? Just hear me out. I know I've been a shitty boyfriend. I know I haven't been there for you. I haven't treated you well. I've lashed out on you when you've done nothing but love and support me. Through all the shit the world's thrown at me this season, you've been everything I need and more. And I haven't appreciated that. And you deserve so much more than what I've been giving you."

Christian stopped for a moment, taking the opportunity to look at you. How could he have hurt you so bad? How could he let everything slip between his fingers?

"I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I'm sorry that you've lost trust in my words. You always tell me that my words, my actions, and my intentions need to line up and they haven't been and I'm so sorry for that. I'm sorry I've broken so many promises. And most of all, I'm sorry that you're hurting and I'm the cause of it when I told you I'd never let anyone hurt you. I failed to see what was right in front of me and I've taken you for granted and I'm so sorry."

A tear fell from your eye, quickly caught by Christian's thumb.

"I don't deserve you. I really don't. You know that and I know that better than anyone."

He closed his eyes and pressed his forehead further into yours.

"But please don't give up on us. I know you can't trust my words right now, but I swear to you I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I can't let you go. Not now and not ever. No more games. No more confusion. No more trying to guess where my head and where my heart stand with you. Right here, right now, forever and always I'm with you. My head is with you. My heart is with you. All of me is with you. And I promise I'll prove it every day for as long as I live. So please. Give me one last chance to be with you."

You didn't know what to say. You didn't know what you wanted anymore. How could you trust him? He was saying all the right words, but did he really mean it? Were they more empty words?

Yes, no, or wait. Just like your mother said. But you'd waited so long that it seemed almost futile. Had you been wasting your time? Or was this what you were meant to do?

And though your head was fighting with itself, dizzy and numb from the constant questions running around, you knew where your heart lied. So you did the only thing you felt could portray how you felt enough to give him and answer.

You lifted your chin and kissed him deeply, wrapping your arms around his neck. His grip on your cheek was firm, bringing you as close as you could physically get. The tears wouldn't stop flowing from either of your faces, but none of that mattered. What mattered was here and now.

Yes, no, or wait. And you finally got your answer.

He kissed you like you were the oxygen he needed to breathe. And truthfully, he needed you to breathe.

You pulled back ever so slightly, just enough for you to be able to talk.

"You get one chance at this Chris. Only one," you said breathlessly. "Don't waste it."

His lips were back on yours in response, his teeth tugging on your bottom lip. You let out a soft moan as he pushed you onto your back, settling himself in between your legs. He pulled back keeping his forehead to yours breathing heavily.

"I love you Y/N. I love you so much you don't even know," he said. "I won't waste it. Not ever again."

You grabbed his shirt and pulled him back to your lips, needing to feel him closer. Your hands traveled underneath his shirt, nails scratching his skin lightly as they roamed his chest.

Christian pulled back from you for a moment to rip his shirt off before attaching his lips back to yours, giving you more access to him. You couldn't keep your hands off each other, your legs wrapping around his hips to bring you even closer to him.

"Chris," you whispered. "I need-"

"I know baby," he answered. "I know. Let me take care of you."

You whimpered beneath him as his lips moved to your neck, leaving a trail of marks as he gave you sloppy but gentle kisses. He bit down on the spot just below your ear, causing you to let out a loud moan.

"Does that feel good baby?" he whispered into your ear, sending shivers down your spine that resonated throughout your whole body.

"God yes Chris it feels so good please," you begged beneath him.

His hands grabbed the bottom of your shirt, bringing it over your head and pressing his chest against yours as he kissed your lips gently.

"So fucking beautiful. And all mine," he said to himself.

His lips returned to your neck, this time the trail leading to your breasts. You gasped as you felt his tongue along your nipple, pressing yourself further into his mouth. You only squirmed more as he moved to your other side, your fingers tangled in his hair tugging lightly. He kissed down your torso until he reached the band of your shorts.

"May I?" he asked softly.

You nodded your head frantically.

"Words baby." His fingers hooked into them, toying with the fabric. "You know the drill. I can't give you what you want unless you tell me."

"Yes please," you whined, wiggling your hips in the hopes of getting the clothing off you faster.

"Please what Y/N?"

"Please take them off Chris please. I wanna feel you on my pussy please, please, please."

"Good girl."

He slowly slid your shorts down, taking a little too long for your liking. He kissed down your stomach, loving how you were falling apart beneath him.

His fingers rubbed over the dark spot of your underwear. You gasped, hands grabbing the sheets tightly. He moved his fingers almost in a trance watching as the patch grew darker and larger.

"You're so fucking wet baby. You like it when I touch you like this?" he chuckled.

"Yes I love feeling you play with my pussy!" you moaned, grinding your hips against his fingers.

Christian pulled your underwear to the side. You shivered in anticipation as you felt Christian's breath on your lips.

"Can I taste you?" he asked, running his fingers through your folds.

"God yes! Please let me feel your tongue," you begged, lacing your fingers through his hair to bring him closer.

"As you wish princess."

Your back arched the moment his tongue made contact with you. He licked from the bottom all the way to your clit, lightly sucking on it. You moaned tugging at his curls. The louder you moaned, the faster he went alternating between licking and sucking. Your thighs closed around his head as you pushed him closer to you.

You were so lost in the pleasure that you were surprised when Christian inserted two of his fingers into your folds. You moaned even louder at the intrusion.

"God Christian more please. Please I need more!"

You were begging, but you didn't even know what you were begging for. You just wanted him to keep going.

Christian was enjoying every second of this. He loved watching you fall apart beneath him.

"You need more baby? So greedy. My tongue sucking on your clit and my fingers deep inside your pussy. What else could you want?" he teased, picking up the speed as he fucked you with his fingers.

You couldn't form any proper sentences anymore. Incoherent noises left your mouth as your body started shaking uncontrollably, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

"Damn baby you're shaking. Are you close already? I've barely even done anything," he mused, inserting a third finger and fucking you even faster.

"God I'm so fucking close please let me cum! Please please please I need to cum please Christian please!" you all but screamed.

"Shh, it's okay. You can cum baby. Let it go for me," he said softly.

Your vision went blank as you came, your hands grasping at Christian's curls to anchor you to reality. Your legs shook violently as Christian continued coaxing your climax out of you, only slowing down as your body started spasming with overstimulation.

"Christian I need more," you whined, gasping for air.

"I know baby, I know. I'll take good care of you," he said. "I'm right here okay?"

Christian kissed your lips gently, making your heart flutter. He softly caressed your face admiring how you glowed under the moonlight. You melted under his gaze holding him close to you.

"You okay?" he asked.

You nodded, giving him the go ahead. He moved back just enough to remove his bottoms before taking his place between your legs again. He placed both of his hands gently on your cheeks, resting his forehead against yours. He looked deep into your eyes as his thrusted his hips into yours. You gasped into his mouth as he picked up the speed, grinding slow but deep.

"I love you Christian," you moaned breathlessly.

"I love you Y/N," he responded. "I love you so much. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me and I'm sorry I made you feel otherwise. And I'll spend the rest of my life proving my worth to you."

The room was quiet except for the skin slapping against each other and the soft gasps you let out. You grabbed Christian's neck, bringing him as close as you possibly could. You needed him in every sense of the word, wanting to feel every inch of his skin on yours. He was yours and you were his. Your bodies intertwined in the same way your souls had all those years ago and that was all you really needed.

"Chris I need-" you were cut off with a particularly deep thrust making you moan, tugging at the curls on the nape of Christian's neck.

"I'm close too baby. Cum with me. Become one with me Y/N."

You had one of the strongest orgasms you'd ever had in your life. Your chest pressed into his as his cum filled you up, clenching your pussy around him. You held each other tightly, afraid to lose one another as space came between you.

The both of you laid there for a moment, basking in the afterglow of being so intimate. You gasped into each others mouths as your heartrates began to slow down ever so slightly.

"God you're so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I've ever seen," Christian said in awe of you.

You flushed beneath him becoming shy.

"Babe you just came all over my dick. You really shouldn't be that shy," he said cheekily. You scoffed and hit his chest slightly.

"You're actually ridiculous," you said lovingly, pressing your lips to his for a quick kiss.

He pecked you once more before pulling out of you. He got up, grabbing a towel and gently cleaning your body. He left kisses as he went, worshipping your body. Once he was done, he laid on his back bringing your head onto his chest. He kissed the top of your head as you tucked yourself beneath his arm.

"Are we okay Christian?" you asked meekly.

"Yeah baby. We're okay. We're gonna be okay."

Taglist: @pulisicsgirl @chelseagirl98 @thoseboysinblue @neverinadream @lizzypotter14 @masonsrem @masonspulisic @notsoattractivearenti @lovelynikol16 @bracedes @mortirolo @nyctophilic0vitnir

#christian pulisic #christian pulisic angst #christian pulisic smut #christian pulisic x reader #christian pulisic imagine #christian pulisic fic #swimmingismywholelife

383 notes · View notes

animeyanderelover · 1 year

Text

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusions, stalking, clinginess, jealousy, aggressive behavior, manipulation, controlling behavior, isolation, gaslighting, abduction, death

Yandere Demon Slayer Hc’s

Kamado Tanjiro

❤️Caring, protective, nurturing. It might be no surprise that Tanjiro manages to worm his way into your heart and the heart of your family and friends thanks to his honest and compassionate nature. He’s always willing to help you with whatever you need and you find him often going the extra mile for you where he persistently insists that you don’t have to feel like you owe him anything since he loves helping you and will do it for free. Tanjiro certainly belongs on the more obsessed spectrum, comes to visit you whenever he can and recalls details about you most people wouldn’t bother to remember about you. Gifts you give him as a sign of gratitude and appreciation are greatly treasured by him but honestly, you could gift this boy a rock and he’d still love it since it’s from you. If it’s something small, he’ll carry it around everywhere with him as his personal lucky charm and destroying whatever you gave him is one of the few times Tanjiro will be genuinely angry.

❤️As already mentioned, Tanjiro is protective of his darling and his past has played a strong part into this. Frail health has taken his father from him and demons have taken almost the entire rest of his family from him and Tanjiro wouldn’t want to lose you too. He always looks out for your health and makes sure that you eat, drink and sleep enough and if he realizes, most likely due to his enhanced smell, that you’re unhappy or stressed because of something, he’ll insist stubbornly to assist you in any way he can so you can rest better. Demons are currently his biggest fear though so if he catches even a faint scent of them in the region where you live, he will grow a bit paranoid and beg you to not leave the house after the sun has set. Not until someone from the Demon Slayers has taken care of the man-eating demon at least. The existence of demons is a terrifying knowledge and if you’re yet unaware of it, Tanjiro will keep quiet about it for a while just to keep your image of the world intact. He’s terrible at lying though, especially to you so if you ever confront him about it due to the strange accidents and his fitting behavior, he’ll most likely end up admitting the truth to you.

❤️He’s patient, he’s considerate and Tanjiro also wants his darling to be happy. It would genuinely upset him to restrict his darling in their daily life, especially since he knows that cancelling their freedom would mean dulling their happiness and he couldn’t bear that. If his darling is happy, Tanjiro is happy too. Honestly, I feel like thanks to his sense of smell he might genuinely sniff out who has a crush on you or even loves you in which case you catch him being a bit more awkward, especially if you like the person a lot too. Unable to openly express it yet, Tanjiro swallows his jealousy for the moment though although it’s likely that he’ll admit his emotions later on. You most likely already know how he feels about you since he’s always keen on expressing his fondness and adoration for you. You catch him blurting out something to the other person the moment they act really affectionate and touchy, something that even catches him off guard.

❤️Tanjiro is usually a kind soul but he has been shown hating certain traits in people that manage to elicit an annoyed or even infuriated reaction out of him. He dislikes cowardice or overly barbaric behavior and responds accordingly. Since he is pretty hyper-focused on his darling, their health and happiness he is triggered the moment someone openly interferes with that and puts his darling under stress. It’s one thing doing it without knowing in which case Tanjiro will step in for his s/o and explain the situation but it’s another thing doing it without caring for you or with the intention of tormenting you. It’s one of the times where the thread of Tanjiro’s kindness just snaps and he reveals the brooding anger and resentment he often hides deep inside of him ever since Muzan attacked his family. He wouldn’t kill a human unless they commit a hideous crime due to his belief that those who have committed evil should be killed without mercy. A mindset he usually reserves for demons but transfers to humans if he should ever encounter someone like that due to you. Even his empathy for demons has never stopped him from beheading them and that stays true and strengthens after he falls in love with his darling.

❤️I do think that Tanjiro is aware enough to know that with certain actions he would harm you more than he would help you. He’s probably the type who is able to justify a good bunch of his behavior due to his overprotective side and also since he genuinely does things because he thinks that it will help you, kidnapping would mean caging you in though. He’d most likely feel to guilty to ever do that, not to mention that it would cause him to feel terribly about himself. That being said, if your life is at risk, he won’t hesitate to lock you away somewhere he hopes to be able to keep you safe and he’s especially frantic if you’ve been hurt already. Such restrictions don’t last long though, at least until the danger is over and your wounds have healed enough. Leaving him doesn’t have to necessarily end in an abduction but you’ll find Tanjiro certainly not leaving your life fully either as he lingers around.

❤️He wants to introduce Nezuko to you and she most likely wants to meet you too since her brother often tells her about you. He’s scared though that you might be afraid of his sister since she’s a demon. Inosuke and Zenitsu are bound to find out after a while too, Zenitsu with his enhanced hearing is able to hear quite literally Tanjiro’s heart going crazy in his chest when he sees you. Both are deep down happy for him but obviously express it in their own unique ways, Zenitsu probably at first in a fit of jealousy since he’s still single. If you live in the city you would rather keep Tanjiro close by your side since he grew up in the country and is almost all the time completely overwhelmed with all the lights and inventions he’s never seen before in his life. Househusband potential, every time you take him home with you, he’s guaranteed to either clean the house for you, fix something or just cook for you and he enjoys doing it for you.

Hashibira Inosuke

🐗He’s been raised in the wildness so you can expect Inosuke to be terribly oblivious to the wrongness of his own obsession once he actually realizes that his feelings for you go deeper. Surely he loves having you around, gets irritated when he doesn’t know where you are, gets mad when someone else tries to consume your time and goes beyond and even further so you praise him since it makes his abdomen tingle but it’s not anything more than that, right? Tanjiro and Zenitsu probably try to teach him what he feels but initially he doesn’t pay them much mind since love is a foreign word for him to grasp yet. It isn’t until he nearly lost his darling, be that in the literal sense or because of an admirer they also like a lot, does he finally begin to understand how much he wants his darling. Unable to know how to deal with it, he acts even more short-tempered and aggressive around others as he starts seeing anyone as a possible rival except your own family. He’s delusional due to his misconception of how love should work and also terribly possessive over you.

🐗Once Inosuke has come to understand that you are like the missing half of his heart, he instantly starts seeking you out even more intensely than he did before. There’s this primal fear that anything could happen if he isn’t with you or that someone else might try to gain your affection so he always tries to be with you. He’s not even bothering to stalk you and let’s be honest, he wouldn’t be even half-decent in it either. No, instead he’s loud and causes multiple heads to turn to your direction as he becomes incredibly clingy. You better keep a close eye on him or otherwise he will provoke someone and get into a conflict, even if this is initially not his intention. Inosuke is essentially your personal guardboar at one point and he calls himself quite often your personal protector with a puffed out chest. All his confident talk outside though, Inosuke is genuinely worried for his darling, especially since demons are everywhere. He seems to think that he’s best suited to protect you though which leads to him rejecting anyone else helping you and also seems to tie into his delusions since he justifies his whole clingy behavior with the fact that he has to protect you.

🐗Considering that he was raised by boars, Inosuke interprets things a lot more different than those who have been raised in the human society so he doesn’t even know what the concept jealousy truly means. He’s defending what’s most precious to him in his eyes, from dangers and love rivals alike. He runs highly on jealousy though as one glance can be enough to set him off and have him shouting at someone and challenging them to a fight to settle things in the only manner he has learned. He has a superiority complex in some ways as he tends to overestimate his abilities. His darling probably has to explain to him what the word jealousy even means and even then he will strongly deny this word being used for him since he connects it with insecurities to not be able to defend and protect his love. His jealousy is as obvious as it can get though with his aggressive shouting and the annoyed feeling in his chest when his darling compliments and praises someone else. Inosuke has things he just isn’t skilled in and the way he was raised is mostly to blame but his pride would never take that so he’s relentless to challenge anyone to a duel to show that he’s better, to prove to you that he’s the best to keep you safe.

🐗He’s bound to stand out due to his aggressive and loud way of behaving and it definitely has happened more than just once that he scared someone away thanks to his antics. This overall aggression doesn’t imply that Inosuke is someone to hurt just anyone though. With time, although with difficulties, he learns to warm up more to other people and acknowledge others besides him. His possessive and jealous side never fades though nor does his confident and aggressive side, he’s as attached as ever. Despite being a hothead though, Inosuke is perceptive when it comes to picking up people with bad intentions or not, especially when it comes to the people you see in your daily life. Demons are never really a problem and Inosuke also keeps vengeful grudges when it comes to humans who have wronged you in which case he doesn’t believe them to deserve mercy and will be convinced that his violent ways of dealing with such people is justified.

🐗It’s not uncommon that Inosuke drags you away whenever he seems fit for multiple reasons. Either he wants to be a show-off and wants your praise, because you’ve spent too much time with someone else or because of some other petty reason. He isn’t even afraid to just break into your own house and act like it’s his own too which probably is true in his own mind. Generally speaking though Inosuke is capable of locking his darling away and that is also partially because he doesn’t know that it’s wrong. It’s never forever though since he lacks the proper skills to take fully care of you. Cases of him locking his darling away happen during times of danger where he just wants his s/o out of danger or when they try to cut ties with him which he eventually realizes and which strikes his possessive side horribly. He isn’t able to understand why you would want to leave him either, his whole behavior isn’t anything suspicious in his own mind.

🐗With no knowledge of what personal boundaries are, Inosuke touches his darling on numerous occasions. He’s quite rough with everything at the beginning and might hurt you by accident at times when he grabs you too harshly or pulls you back to his side. Some of the affection you show him, he probably doesn’t even realize as such due to his upbringing. It needs patience and time to really be able to keep up with Inosuke thanks to his impulsive, loud and aggressive ways but what is undeniable is that Inosuke holds a deep affection for you. He knows your name after all and doesn’t constantly call you by the wrong name. He always tells you about things he did and expects you to praise him for it. A bit nicer when his own friends are around his darling though if they stare at his s/o too long, Inosuke tends to get the wrong idea again which ends in the typical aggressive provocation of his for a fight. His darling is the only one who can keep some level of control over him but only a bit.

Tomioka Giyu

🌊Giyu has never been exceptionally talented when it comes to interacting with other people as he is stoic and a man of few words. He’s someone who keeps his distance and this reason alone already sets him up as the silent stalker of his darling. Something he is quite talented in so you probably never notice that there is a young man following you around. Besides his reserved nature, Giyu has other reasons to stay away from you though. He’s perceptive of his own emotions and figures out his crush before it spirals down into an obsession. He’s ashamed of letting his emotions escalate into the more obsessive spectrum, doesn’t want to face you. Partially you also just make him too flustered as his emotions for you are strong enough to throw him out of his composure and Giyu doesn’t want you to know about his growing feelings. To top it all, Giyu sort of fears that he somehow might drag you into danger if he were to stay with you. He’s a Demon Slayer, he risks his life killing demons and wants to keep you out of a world you probably don’t even know exists. He’s lost so many important people in his life after all, he doesn’t want to lose you.

🌊He doesn’t think of himself too highly either, is even quite insecure since he doesn’t know if his darling would even like someone like him as he recalls Shinobu’s teasing about nobody liking him and it suddenly gets to him. Giyu stays for such a long time just in the shadows of your life, silently yearning for someone he believes he shouldn’t have as there is no guarantee that he might even live a long life and additionally thinks is far too good for him. Yet every smile you give him when you see him or thoughtful gesture you do for the quiet male haunts him as his emotions silently wail out for him to do something. He spends days on end contemplating his problems alone as he doesn’t want anyone else to know about it. He knows they’ll find out eventually but it’s too early for him yet. The decision to stay is made when he has realized that you genuinely want him in your life and the wavering thought, more like slightly desperate hope, that he might still be deserving of something in his life.

🌊Giyu is one of those people who many have a hard time reading and when it comes to jealousy, that’s no different. His face just rarely changes, if at all. I do think that Giyu is someone who doesn’t hold jealousy in a very high regard since it causes people to not think logically and instead let their mind get clouded by their possessive feelings. The Hashira doesn’t want to act that way around his darling and frankly spoken, he doesn’t consider himself worthy either. Insecurities do get the better of him but he often blames it on himself for not being able, or rather be too afraid and ashamed, to act on his own feelings. He stuffs all possible jealousy down as good as he can and chooses silent suffering instead. Even in a relationship he will never show his jealousy openly but you do realize the way his blue eyes constantly wander back and forth between you and your companion before going back to look at you. After a while he completely avoids looking at all to not make it unnecessarily hard for himself. You can expect Giyu to keep on glancing at you for the rest of the day though because even though he isn’t admitting it loudly, he silently craves some validation in form of affection.

🌊I believe that there’s going to be an increase in Giyu’s protective behavior and that is because he unravels with more time with what his darling provides him and what they actually mean to him. Giyu’s trust and honestly is not easy to earn, not with someone as stoic and silent as him, someone who shows his emotions to only few people. Once you have carefully and slowly peeled off the layers of him, Giyu finds himself relying a lot on you. You’re basically his emotional support pillar, when he has a problem or something deeply bothers him, he often visits you to gain tranquility as your presence alone is peaceful and the affection and words of affirmation you give him soothe his soul. Because of this reliance on you, one that might sometimes dangerously border the line of co-dependence, his obsession worsens. He’s keeping most of the time his composure and is by no means violent but he hates people who don’t know their own limitations and don’t respect your limits either and makes sure to let them know about their inconsiderate actions. If someone harms his loved one, Giyu’s masks cracks though and he expresses rage.

🌊He’s respecting his s/o too much for any low actions like abduction and he’s deep down also frightened to his core that his darling might end up loathing him. Even if this reaction makes perfect sense in his head when he thinks about it, something about it disturbs him deeply and that might just be the result of the strong emotional reliance he has on you. As someone with a high sense of moral and justice the drastic measurement of an abduction seems and feels wrong in every way so the chances are low for Giyu to cut off your freedom, especially since he never knows if he’s even going to come back from a very dangerous mission. In case Giyu feels like your relationship with him is at stake, he finds himself often going with a mix of manipulation and sabotage, in drastic cases of you getting injured or a demon haunting your village at night with a spontaneous move of his. Only temporarily of course, only until Giyu has removed any demon and has cooled off his overprotective side enough to let you go back.

🌊Give this man some appreciation and validation because despite his lack of words, Giyu is in desperate need of it. He has a strong inferiority complex and, to make matters worse, survivor guilt so he often doubts himself. His darling on the other hand shows him affection and lets him know that he’s worth it in their eyes and he can’t even begin to express how grateful he is. His overall lack of skills in expressing himself vocally does fill him with guilt, not to mention that he can’t handle too much physical affection either, especially in public. He gets flustered far too easy, even if only a tinge of pink on his cheeks might give him away after his stoic mask slowly slips away. Giyu is big in gift-giving as a way to compensate for his lack of affection in other areas. From kimonos and haoris to hair ornaments to more thoughtful things like your favorite flowers and meals. With the affection you give him, Giyu truly isn’t picky either. Hearing you saying that you love him and want him fills him with indescribable happiness but really just anything to let him know that you adore and love him makes him want to protect someone as precious as you even more.

Rengoku Kyojuro

🔥Kyojuro is someone who his darling might struggle with mainly because he is so cheerful and eccentric to the point it’s almost painful. It’s not like the male Hashira is someone who lets himself get easily dragged down if you’re a bit freaked out by him. Because, for better or worse, Kyojuro has a damaging delusional streak going on. He tends to make assumptions quickly but that isn’t what makes him such a delusional guy. It’s rather his almost unshakable belief that his darling and him are some sort of soulmates and that his hard work to woo them will pay off at one point in time. His delusions might also be tied into the fact that his s/o might neither be someone who fights demons nor even knows about their existence. His philosophy is that the strong ones have to protect the weak ones and despite all the praise and encouraging words the man gives you, at the end of the day he still deems you, even if subconsciously, as someone he has to protect since you wouldn’t last against a demon.

🔥You might believe that he is from honest nature but Rengoku is actually more manipulative than probably even he realizes. This is to blame once again on his conviction that everything he does, he does for you. He is pure of heart and genuinely thinks that what he does, he does to ensure that you’re happy and healthy. The problem is that he’s almost deaf to your own little protests whenever he dominates your life and makes decisions for you and at one point you simply stop complaining and swallow all down. He can’t be reasoned with or at least only hardly and surely someone like Rengoku really only wants the best for you, right? Whether Rengoku or even you realize it, due to him dominating your life so greatly and always insisting that he helps you with everything he can, he pushes you into relying on him until running to him in search of advice and protection has become a dangerous habit of yours. Kyojuro on the other hand notices that you rely on him and takes it the wrong way which only results in him being even more with you since you always search for him when something pops up.

🔥He’s amiable but problems can pop up since you definitely aren’t the only one who tends to be overwhelmed with his antics. Despite of that his honest and pure nature makes it hard to not like him. Rengoku respects family a lot, his own and the one of his darling too since they took care of them and raised them to the best they could. He goes actively out of his way to get on good terms with people you call precious in your life. Not for any manipulative reasons but more because he sincerely wants to befriend those who are people you love and who have helped you through hardships in your life. He’s charismatic and his courtship makes it obvious in what relationship you two are as of now and where it’s probably headed. That alone makes most back away, additionally Rengoku’s antics might be, as already mentioned, a bit tiring. If someone still tries during the stages of courtship, he gets quite fierce but not in an aggressive way but more in a ‘the better may win’ way, although thanks to his delusional streak he is confident that his effort will pay off. In an established relationship on the other hand he steps up quickly and puts his foot down since his darling is already his.

🔥He detests demons as most Hashira do although he has shown understanding with Nezuko due to her defending innocent people. Demons are never a big problem and with humans Kyojuro is more lenient. Given his large protective streak though, he is quick to put people into their place if they wrong you in any way and demands almost all the time that they apologize to you. Worst is that he’s so persistent with it in a way that borders the line of creepy and scary. If his morals happen to clash with those who cause you the trouble, his friendliness leaves him for a bit although his boasting words and eccentric behavior stays intact although there’s a hint of something more creepy now. You definitely don’t want to harm Kyojuro’s s/o though since he’s ready to go through hell and back to ensure their safety.

🔥Strangely enough the man with a straightforward and pure heart is the one who almost pushes you into a forced life with him. Kyojuro leads you on in your life, he is always there to care for you and dote on you that even you don’t know anymore what the true relationship between you two is. Everyone else on the other hand already sees Rengoku as your affectionate and caring husband and the Fire Hashira never claims those statement as wrong. This only causes you to get stuck deeper into the predicament and the more you struggle, the deeper you seem to sink. You’re not surprised when Kyojuro asks you one day to live with him with promises of only loving you and providing for you. You might hesitate, you might even reject and he would accept after questioning you why you don’t want to but this only saves you temporarily. The question is out now after all, he will ask you again soon and you better be careful to not deny him for too long.

🔥The man is like a small flame entering your life and spending you warmth, comfort and protection. His obsession fuels his flames though until the fire he is becomes too much for you to handle and engulfs your life almost completely. You probably know that you’ve grown too dependent on the man who might by now already be your husband but you also have forgotten how to be without him. He would never understand your reasons even if you would decide to leave him, he doesn’t see this relationship as indirectly toxic as you do. Instead he would brush it off as you not feeling well or something else bothering you in which case he would try to soothe you and push you into relying on him even more. Kyojuro showers his s/o in his love and affection, often buys them sweet little gifts and gives them long and big hugs. He introduces you relatively early to his family and whilst Shinjuro doesn’t care greatly for you, Senjuro quickly grows to adore you.

Kibutsuji Muzan

🩸An inflated ego and delusion of his own self-worth have resulted into Muzan seeing himself as a natural disaster, as almost perfect if it wouldn’t be for his inability to walk through sunlight. This twisted view of his own worth coupled with the low opinion he has on everyone else leads him to the brink of a rage rampage when he notices that he, the king of demons, has fallen for an itty bitty mortal human. It infuriates him, hurts his ego as he can’t believe that he would ever sink so lowly. The blame lies never in him though, instead Muzan makes you to the scapegoat of all his ire and frustration, plots the most gruesome deaths only for them to stay on his mind and never be put into action. Something holds the man back, controls him almost and this sensation of weakness, of a human having control over him to such an extent, has Muzan spiraling down into another silent rage. His mood is terrible and the smallest thing could set him off at any moment. He loathes the thought of not being in control as he desires to take it back from you and instead have you submitting to him.

🩸You’re a possession of Muzan which means that he expects others to know not to touch and also expects you to know who you belong to. Obviously you’re never made an equal but instead seen as a precious little human pet he happens to fancy, something you should be grateful for in his mind. You’re secluded and isolated as he wants to be the only one to see you and intends to push you with isolation into despair and submission. You know firsthand how cruel and manipulative he is as he can essentially switch back and forth between being a cold-blooded and callous man who torments you, removes everyone you have ever loved from the living to have you pay for any disobedience and disrespect to a sweeter and more doting man who coaxes you into giving up and accepting your new role. After all he only rewards good behavior. He has long given up on morals and rightful acting as he only acts on his own selfish desires so even if he can assume from your reaction that you’re utterly terrified of him, he couldn’t care less and on the worst days he’ll treat your anxiety and fear like a nuisance as he has neither the motivation nor the patience to care for your own irrelevant feelings.

🩸Now how can you make him jealous if you only have him to be with? Do you even dare to make Kibutsuji Muzan himself jealous? Only if you’re prepared for the consequences, my dear. With no remorse and consideration whatsoever, the only thing you can expect is that a head will very soon roll on the ground and a irked Muzan confronting you and punishing you for your naïve and stupid behavior. There’s nothing to gain from this petty action, not if Muzan is the one terribly obsessed with you. He has acquired the admiration and fear of all of his subordinates and his darling won’t be any exception. They’ll learn to submit, to lower their head and gaze at him as if he’s the incarnation of god himself. If there’s anyone who lingers on your mind and encourages your rebellious action, Muzan will be sure to serve you their severed limbs as a cruel reminder that you have nothing to hope for anymore. You’re his, silly thing. Just accept that or you’ll be submitted to his anger.

🩸All too unwilling to dirty his own hands and often not even considering the act of murdering a human as worth a second of his time, Muzan has demons bowing down to him and following his every demand. One snip of his fingers and they’ll be there for him to follow his every command. He’s all too clear to you about being ready to punish everyone you love if you make even one tiny mistake, will even drag innocent people into your problems. He torments you with the lives he takes as he always blames you for the death of everyone, presents you with the humans who will have to pay for your mistakes to the point where you’re on your knees and beg him for mercy only to witness another human being slaughtered. Life besides his own matters not to Muzan as he views it as insignificant, you make up a small exception. You have all reasons to be terrified, my dear. If you aren’t careful, you’ll have no one left to return to besides Muzan.

🩸Thousands of years has he wandered through the land, has worked on his ambitions to be perfect. You should believe that the art of patience should be essentially integrated into Muzan yet this is new. This strange feeling blossoming deep inside his heart with roots drilling through his being too deeply to ever remove is new. He doesn’t know what he should do with you as he can’t kill you for you clutch his heart too tightly in your own hands. He strives to win back the control and dominance you took from him and keep you under control by having you submit to him. Once Muzan has begrudgingly realized that for the first time in his life he longs for something else besides immortality and perfection, for someone, he becomes insatiably greedy and incredibly impatient. Your abduction is the start of hell for you as you are thrown into a world you probably never knew about before with a man who claims you to be his secret treasure from now on.

🩸You’re the demon king’s well-hidden secret. Every demon who finds out about you will be immediately slaughtered and the small exception might be the group of the Upper Moons but even they will be harshly punished if they dare to take a look at you. I imagine that darling is utterly terrified as they have no idea where they even are and every step they take through the strange rooms only seems to bring them back where they started. There are luxuries you have access to the moment you start pleasing your captor with your well-behaved words and actions. Life is easier for you that way as you are showered with riches and jewels although you will never get your freedom or the right to be seen as equal back. You shouldn’t even dare to suggest such a ridiculous and outrageous thing in front of Muzan. Have you forgotten who is standing in front of you? He becomes more tender-hearted if you stay docile and obedient but never forget that his love for you won’t stop him from punishing you or let mistakes of you slide. Don’t get ahead of yourself, darling. He won’t ever allow himself to give you so much control over him.

#yandere kimetsu no yaiba #yandere kny #yandere demon slayer #yandere tanjiro #yandere kamado tanjiro #yandere inosuke #yandere hashibira inosuke #yandere giyu #yandere tomioka giyu #yandere rengoku #yandere rengoku kyojuro #yandere muzan #yandere kibutsuji muzan

784 notes · View notes

professorbussywinkle · 8 months

Text

Some people have kids because they want a slave...

....Think for a second

The obsession with punishment and discipline and "teaching them a lesson" often in brutal, unforgiving ways that don't teach them to follow their internal guide, but to fear your wrath if they do something you might perceive as wrong

The lack of respect for their bodily autonomy, their feelings, and their personhood

Treating everything they do or say like it's beneath consideration or without any value or significance if it does not serve you in some immediate gratifying way

The overemphasis on obedience being a central factor to how much moral worth they have as a human being

Using the provision of basic necessities(food housing, clothing) to justify mistreating them, treating the provision as something that can be withheld if they misbehave or "step out of line"

Believing their child is somehow always up to no good for no certifiable reason, to justify invading their privacy, denying them access to their social circles and means of communication

Publicly shaming or humiliating their child on camera and posting it on the internet in order to get them to behave in the ways you want them to

Soliciting their child's opinion, then yelling at them for disagreeing with you or "talking back". Also ranting at length about things they know their kids disagree with them about until their kid finally reaches a breaking point and says something, at which point, they're horrible combative children for constantly arguing with you

Treating their emotions as frivolous and pointless, or a sign of weakness not to be expressed freely and openly, forcing them to walk on eggshells around you for fear that anything could potentially set you off

Frequently telling them how lucky they are to not be physically abused. also not telling you what made them angry, leaving you not knowing what it was that upset them and them deliberately not telling you when you inquire about it

Using the excuse "I am your parent, so I know what's best for you" in order to force children to do something that is only meant to make the parent feel in control, and not for their child's well-being.

alluding that you are the sole reason why they can’t do whatever the hell they want and wished you didn’t even exist so they can have more freedom. (This one hits close to home for me)

These types of parents get off on this, literally...in an almost pornographic way it would seem, by pushing around, harming, and denigrating someone who's smaller and weaker than them, by exerting power and control over a little human being who is unable or unwilling to fight back against them, all so they can flex their big boy muscles, all so they can prove they have dominion over you and show you that you have no power to do anything about it, and then deluding themselves about how it's all about "discipline" or "teaching" so they don't feel bad about it

Does it make you feel so fucking powerful??

Does it make you feel so in control??

Does it make you feel so badass??

abusing and traumatizing a vulnerable little person half your fucking size and feasibly being able to get away with it under the guise of "discipline" with no reproach or recourse because you can't or refuse to deal with your own emotional damage??

Demon behavior.

362 notes · View notes

nervousd · 1 year

Text

OBSESSING OVER RECOM

→ PREVIOUS

━━━ : © NERVOUS.D

#SYNOPSIS— in which all recoms are obsessed with their recom teammate

#WARNING(S)— yandere(?), unhealthy fixation, unhealthy obsession, non consensual touching, groping, implications of forced mating, implications of noncon/dubcon, abuse of power, manipulation/manipulative, forced tsahylu

#CHARACTER(S)— Recom Group/ Deja Blu squad

At one point it had become incredibly draining to be around everyone. Even opting to hanging out with the scientist pukes. But such a plan was discarded right away. Mansk had become increasingly needy, often by your side quietly. Content with just being anywhere near you. He was easy to please— something you were quite grateful for. Walker was shameless in her touches. Going as far as groping you in front of the others, her touches were bold. It would cause a chain reaction from the others, joining in and cupping you through your pants.

Prager was similar to Mansk in terms of affection, content with having an arm around you or nuzzling your nape with his nose. But sometimes his neediness would get the best of him. At one point he would thrown rationality out the window and sink down on his knees nuzzling your crotch with his nose. Ja was quite the opposite form the others, begging to be touched by you. He would tug on the string of your pants, gazing up at you with glassy eyes. It was quite the sight, and it was enough to have him getting pulled in your lap. Oblivious to his manipulation.

Brown acted indifferently. As if you didn’t affect him— but rather he was good at hiding his emotions. He never sought out any sort of physical touch except pleasure. It was exhausting to say the least— to try and keep up with his high libido. At one point you would shrug him off and deny him any access. He would get increasingly frustrated wanting nothing more but to touch you. He would become irrationally angry and he would take whatever he seemed fit. Because in his mind you belonged to him. His own personal stress reliever.

Lopez had the same mentality as Brown but rather he was more open of his feelings. Whatever he wanted he would take. He was aggressive like that, he would voice out his thoughts uncaring if they were hurtful. He enjoyed taking what he wanted from you— it didn’t matter if you were exhausted. Warren was unbothered to say the least. Seeing you in the corner of his sight was enough for him. On the occasion he’ll request the simplest things such as holding hands and whatnot.

Zhang was someone who was didn’t ask for much, quite awkward in asking for any sort of touch from you.On the occasion his lip would curl in frustration seeing the others act so openly towards you. He was usually stiff around you, unable to fully relax without having the need to pounce you. To have you in his grasp, an itch that needed to be scratch that only you could soothe. The feeling would overwhelm him at one point causing him to breakdown. However, when you would bask him with your presence his tail would thump against the ground like a dog.

General Ardmore would have surely noticed their personality shifts at some point. She even made the decision to cut you off from the Recom squad, claiming you had turned out to be a liability for them. The General's choice didn't turn out well; she was faced with an angry group of highly trained Recom soldiers, teeth barred in anger as they demanded you to be returned to them. Being helpless in the situation, you were returned back to the squad you were faced with happy smiles and loud purrs.

308 notes · View notes

elysiansparadise · 2 years

Text

Astro Observations IX

🟤Mars-Uranus conjunction has gained a reputation for being very impulsive and quick-tempered natives when it comes to acting or arguing, as the natures of the planets are spontaneous. The reality is that there is another facet of this aspect, this is that the natives can overthink the movements they did at some point in their lives or the ones that they plan to do. Despite the instinctive quality of the planets, Uranus is still a very rational and mental planet as well as nervous. These natives can be more deliberate than they are given credit for. This duality being one of the reasons why they are also considered unpredictable.

🟤Those with Neptune in the angles are the classic people that no one is sure they know one hundred percent, as they rarely feel they can genuinely project themselves with other people. On top of that, they always find themselves in situations where people project onto them, especially their problems or flaws. In the same way, they can often be idealized by others with ease, others could put expectations in them from a very young age.

🟤Ruler of the 5th/7th in the 2nd house or vice versa may notice that they attract people who may have a lot of money or at least be stable in this sector. They attract people who want to provide them with security on many levels, people who, although not very communicative with their feelings, show through caresses, gifts and actions the love or adoration they have for the native. They can attract very persevering people with the idea of attracting the native or drawing their attention.

🟤Many with Mars in the 7th house may have grown up or always been present in tense environments with many arguments or a very angry environment, this placement grants the natives with an incredible ability to solve problems quickly and efficiently. They like a bit of drama, but they will not tolerate the other person making a fuss or things worse/on a larger scale. They will always look for the fastest and most effective solution to a problem. Despite being great at solving other people's problems, they can have trouble solving their own internal problems and can find themselves in tense situations without their meaning or direct involvement.

🟤Moon harshly aspecting Lilith usually symbolizes a female figure in your family who you feel is very different from you, with whom you do not get along or a woman who feels rejection, envy or jealousy towards you. These natives tend to attract women who think they have something they don't and can be seen constantly attracting jealous or negative women with them.

🟤When the ruler of the 6th house is in water houses [4th, 8th or 12th] shows us natives who do not openly talk about what they think with other people. It is very difficult to know what the next step will be or what they are thinking of doing. They are very discreet people with what they want and what they plan to do to get it. They let themselves be guided by what their hearts want or what they feel they need, and they don't stop until they get what they want. These natives know their emotions from head to toe, and this makes it easier for them to know those of the people around them, so as much as you want to know about them you will not be able to, but they will be able to read you like an open book. They are one of the most observant overlays.

🟤One of the biggest differences between the ruler of the 1st and the ruler of the 10th house is that the ruler of the 10th house represents the way you are seen without your intending or wanting it, while the ruler of the 1st house is like you want to be seen Why? The 10th house represents the first impression you make. 1st house represents the way you consciously interact and present yourself with your surroundings and people, it is the facet of you that you want people to see.

🟤Do you want to know what a person secretly wants? Check out the 12th house, planets there, but especially where the ruler is placed. Here some examples:

🟫1st house: that the person would like to be more sure of themselves, to show themselves as they are without fear of being judged, they would like to feel powerful and in control of themselves. A desire for authenticity and courage.

🟫6th house: They want to feel useful, productive, and generally better about themselves. Don't pay so much attention to your flaws, don't focus so much on others. They want to be admired and recognized for their work.

🟫7th house: They want to connect with people, they want to find someone with whom everything goes well, they want a romantic, loving and committed union. They have a desire to find the perfect partner with whom to be the best version of themselves.

🟫2nd house: improve your self-esteem, feel better about yourself, rediscover the feeling of being worth something or deserving of good things. Desire for stability and to have something that gives you security.

🟫5th house: they want to feel loved, adored and have a self-esteem boost. Remind themselves how important they are, reconnect with love, intense love and have more creativity. Desire to feel attractive and worthy.

🟫8th house: These natives want a degree of intimacy that takes them to another level, to be very intimate with someone, to stop repressing their dark side. A desire for liberation and intimate connection with someone.

🟤Those with ruler of the 12th in the 10th or vice versa can be seen as shy, very reserved and somewhat mysterious. People only know what the native wants them to know, since they are very cautious with whom they open up and what they make public of themselves. These natives have a deep desire to help people through their hard work, they would like the idea of healing or inspiring others through their work. It is not surprising that many of them are writers, musicians or artists in general.

🟤When Venus is in the 2nd house, rules the 2nd house or is conjunct to the 2nd house ruler, the natives have a very melodious and seductive voice. They give you a lot of peace with their voice, which can be very sweet and have a fair intonation, neither too high nor too low. Just like mermaids, listening to them talk makes you vulnerable to their powers of seduction.

🟤Lilith in the 7th house are somewhat disconnected from their dark side, it is difficult for them to see or accept this side of them, but ironically it is something they quickly project to others. Many people see them as interesting, seductive and think that the native is hiding something behind their facade. They tend to attract people addicted to this darkside of theirs and people who are very connected to their shadow self. They love intense romances with a transformative quality, especially if it's with someone they can get to know better. In some cases, their partners may be somewhat jealous, they may want them just for themselves and generate some kind of need to always be with them [which is not healthy]. They can attract people that want more and more from them.

🟤Those with Venus or Moon in the 2nd, 4th or 8th house can last for years with the same romantic interest. Their feelings come and go, but not for that person, once they fall in love with someone they can only think of that person. They are much more intense in love than they are given credit for. It is very difficult for them to connect with someone in a very intimate way, so when they do, it can be difficult for them to let the person go. Don't be surprised to see them with the same crush after years. [This may decrease if Venus or Moon is in a mutable sign, Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius or Pisces, if the ruler of Venus is in the 3rd, 5th or 9th house or tensely aspecting Uranus or Jupiter].

🟤Jupiter in the 10th house or in Capricorn tells us about a person who has many ambitions, someone who wants to achieve many things and longs to be someone in life, however, the natives themselves are the ones who are hard on themselves, they can be in Extremely self-critical and hardly accept that they are doing something right. Ironically, they are not so demanding with other people, only with themselves. They are usually a bit pessimistic about their potential and do not see what they are capable of doing. This is enhanced if Saturn is aspecting Jupiter or if Jupiter is retrograde.

🟤Ruler of the 4th in the 1st or vice versa have a very calming aura, people get very comfortable with them quickly and they come across as very trustworthy people. They are reserved and are in strong contact with their emotions, they take the time to investigate them and find a reason for them. They are very perceptive people with the emotions of others, they understand and care for those they love with great attention and sweetness, they are the type of people who actively protect those they love.

🟤The presence of Saturn and Jupiter in the same house indicates that the issues of the same will be of crucial importance for the native, since they will bring with them many lessons, learning and growth for the native. It is not something negative at all, since their energies complement each other quite a lot, Saturn providing more stability to the expansive or excessive nature of Jupiter and Jupiter providing more luck and light to Saturn. When both are in the same house, success is predicted in the field that governs the house, it may be a little later, but it is a lasting success.

🟤Saturn in the 10th house usually either have a future spouse who has problems with a member of their family or they are very devoted and close to their family. Future spouse may have very marked differences with one of their parents and the native may feel somewhat "in the crosshairs" of this particular in-law. Their future spouse will be a person with very stable feelings who, although they will hardly express them verbally, will show it through constant actions. [In case you’re wondering, this meaning is given through the derivative house system that I have explained previously here].

🟤Moon in Gemini hardly take compliments, or can respond to them very curtly or skeptically. They tend to overthink the truth behind other people's displays of affection. Another thing that is worth mentioning is that it is very difficult for them to feel that they connect with someone or that someone catches their attention, but they can become quite fixated once they fall in love.

🟤Those with the Ruler of the 7th house conjunct Pluto or Neptune [or Neptune/Pluto being ruler of this house] are people who easily hypnotize other people, either because of their beauty or their way of being, they attract the eyes of the public very quickly and can attract others. people somewhat obsessive over them or addicted to being with them. At the same time they can attract a lot of envy or people who would love to be even half of what they are.

🟤Ruler of the 4th house in the 8th house or vice versa could have a chaotic and problematic home, this leading them to generate mistrust or in some cases resentment towards one of their parents. From children they learned to reserve their feelings, since some did not pay much attention to them or did not take them seriously. The subject of the family can be a tense thing for them and they may prefer not to talk about theirs and even live far away from them. They are people of very intense emotions and very observant/aware of what is happening around them.

🟤Earth Mars are extremely loyal people to their loved ones. I mention this because even though they seem to reason when a problem arises, controlling their instincts and temper, I have noticed that if you hurt someone they love in any way they can generate the most negative emotions around you, it even seems that you hurt them directly. They are somewhat spiteful and do not easily forget the suffering they put them through or those they love the most.

🟤Having Saturn or Pluto in the 7th house makes the karma your enemies get from hurting you very strong and intense. This one may take time to arrive, even years [especially if Pluto or Saturn is retrograde] but it shows no mercy. If someone hurts you deeply, this karma on their way is presented in a loss of reputation, negative or toxic relationships, a feeling of little balance in their lives, streaks of bad luck when wanting to start a business or generate money through other people, divorces, etc.

🟤Those who have a quincunx between Moon-Pluto may have many desires or feel many deep things / strong needs but out of fear they prefer to be closed about it. These natives may want to connect intimately with people, but prefer not to do so for fear of being betrayed, judged or generally hurt, so they block their vulnerable side.

🟤Something similar happens with the quincunx between Saturn-Moon, which causes the native to not seem to want to "settle down" with others, but the reality is that they are someone very capable of committing themselves and giving everything, but for fear that others will take advantage or not commit in the same way, they prefer to be more cautious about it. It is worth mentioning that these do not forget and do not bother trying to forgive.

🟤Ruler of the 5th in the 10th house or vice versa usually have very high standards when it comes to having a partner or even thinking about the possibility of someone calling their attention. They have the need to admire their potential partner, this means that they can only be at their level or higher. They know what they are worth and do not settle for little, they do not lower their standards for anyone or anything.

🟤Pluto in the 4th house is one of the most mysterious placements for Pluto, I dare to say more than a Pluto in the 1st house. Pluto in the 4th IS mysterious and secretive without intending it. They hardly trust people and do not open up to anyone, do not trust anyone with their emotions and are very secretive. They could tell you what they think, but they will never talk to you openly about their past, their discomfort or sadness if they don't trust you enough. Their emotional world is intense and they are more passionate than they show, but that is a facet of them that not everyone knows.

🟤Ruler of the 9th house in the 2nd/4th house or vice versa can find comfort and security in places far from home. They hardly feel that they fit into their place of origin [family, or when they were young and went to school], they feel that it is not easy for them to find that something to call home. So it is very likely that people with this placement change their city, state or country. This overlay favors being able to live in another country or have a better life outside the place of origin.

🟤Those with Venus-Pluto aspects are often described as very appealing and passionate, but the reality is that there is something deeper than that description that we see everywhere. Many of them want a very intense and transformative connection, but still they are afraid of being too intimate with someone, they are afraid of looking too vulnerable or being fooled. Very capable of loving, of making the other feel desired, and of changing the lives of those they love, but it is difficult for them to put aside their fears at times, that fear of being hurt for trusting too much. That is why they are so cautious with their relationships or with the idea of formalizing with someone. This may be due to past experiences or from people close to them (their parents for example).

🟤Ruler of the 6th in the 10th or vice versa can become very successful in their work as well as well known for their sense of duty and responsibility. In the same way, they can stand out for being people who help others, who make others feel comfortable or who advise other people. They tend to have a good reputation for their altruistic nature. It is very likely that they will also attract some envy in their work, but this placement indicates that it is because of how well they work and the rewards they will obtain. People who envy them feel less than them in terms of abilities or talent.

🟤Ruler of the 11th in the 5th or vice versa can have a high level of recognition, since they have a lot of charisma and their personality can make them stand out. They can be really good at some hobby that they have. Many people who see them are inspired by them, whether it's because of their originality, their work, or the way they seem to lead their lives. They have a lot of appeal and have a facility to fall in love and fascinate whoever deals with them. There is a type of conflict in them, since they like to be told that what they do is good, they like recognition, however much can overwhelm them, because as children it is likely that they did not feel it very much.

🟤Ruler of the 7th in the 4th or vice versa usually indicates that you will marry a person from the same city, state or country. This person will be very caring and protective of you, someone who will open the doors to their emotional world, who will be transparent with you and will give you that feeling of being at home again. Future spouse will be someone trustworthy, reliable and at a very stable point in their life (especially if Saturn, Venus or Jupiter are the rulers involved). It will be someone very emotional who will take care of your emotions, will have a lot of tact and will have the intention of making you live the very heaven on earth.

#astro notes #astrology #natal chart #astro note #astro observations #astro observation #birth chart #astrology notes

2K notes · View notes

makeste · 1 year

Text

hey guys, so I’ve finished reading BnHA 342 which was a delight to read, but my reaction post is very, very long and will take some time to edit, so in the meantime I’ve decided to make a separate post just to talk about this one character interaction which I am absolutely obsessed with!

let’s see how long of an analysis I can make about this ONE, SINGLE JOKING REMARK THAT KACCHAN MADE COMPLETELY OFFHANDEDLY.

1. so first off, let’s just cut straight to the heart of the matter: this. is. friendship. no more denial. no more HAH, NO WAY, OF COURSE WE AREN’T FRIENDS NOW WALK BEHIND ME!!! the Kacchan who was too embarrassed and too chuuni to admit that he was friends with Shouto died at Jakku. and the Kacchan who’s been running the show ever since then is someone who openly worries about Shouto (asking about him immediately after waking up in the hospital), unabashedly provides him with emotional support (hand on the shoulder when class 1-A confronted Endeavor), and hangs out with him in his room because he doesn’t want Shouto to be going through all this shit alone.

2. speaking as someone whose own #1 love language is using humor to try and relax people and make them feel comfortable and safe and welcomed and at ease, the fact that Katsuki used a joke as his chosen method of support here brought me SO MUCH JOY I can barely even begin to express it. and it’s not even the first time he’s done this! never forget that one time after Kamino where class 1-A was all bummed after Aizawa told them off for coming to save him, and so he grabbed Kaminari and dragged him into the bushes and made him activate his derp mode in order to ease the tension! and also to distract them so he could quietly pay Kirishima back for the night vision goggles, because that is his OTHER love language (cold hard cash!! nah lol I’m referring to the act of physically, tangibly paying him back; showing his gratitude not just with words but with actions), but yeah.

my point is, for someone who always seems to be so angry and serious, Kacchan has a sharp sense of humor that he apparently just keeps tucked away under wraps, and dusts off only for rare special occasions like these, and I absolutely LOVE it and I need it to happen WAY MORE OFTEN. there is a very real possibility of me making a compilation post of every single time Kacchan has made a joke and/or actually laughed about something, just because I’m that desperate to know more about this expertly dry wit of his now.

3. getting back to his friendship with Shouto, this next talking point is the one that’s already been done to death (because you know I went and looked up all those 342 tumblr reactions and metas after I read this chapter because I needed to soak up that analysis asap), but nonetheless this post would not be complete without it! so this is very obviously a commentary on the fact that Shouto’s favorite food is cold soba! a fact which is known to every single citizen of the world! in fact this joke even takes that last part into account, since it relies on that fact being common knowledge in order to stick the landing! in a way it’s partially a friendly little dig at Shouto for making his favorite food such an important part of his personality! like, “hmm, so what would be the worst case scenario for Touya. well obviously it would be him liking something other than soba, since we all know that’s a deal-breaker.” basically this joke derives a good 60% of its humor from the fact that Shouto just loves soba THAT damn much. and Kacchan is obviously WELL aware of this fact because, as we all know, he and Shouto are actually best friends.

4. quick side note, this is also a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it callback to chapter 164, which featured this hilarious interchange between Shouto and his OTHER best friend.

thus adding the additional meta layer that Shouto actually does canonically consider people who like udon to be FUNDAMENTALLY INCOMPATIBLE WITH HIM AS PEOPLE lmao. and Katsuki knows this because he was listening in on that whole conversation and bitching about the two of them being total weirdos! but ALSO he was apparently filing notes away in the back of his big hero brain because he loves Todo actually, so yeah. love it when a scene in a newer chapter retroactively makes a scene from an old chapter even better.

5. lest you worry that Kacchan is back to his OLD VILLAINOUS BULLYING WAYS by poking fun at poor sweet innocent Shouto here, let’s now talk about the ways in which this joke is also a sick burn on Touya! because that of course is the other 40% of the joke! if Shouto’s favorite food is soba, then OBVIOUSLY Touya’s favorite food is going to be the complete opposite of that, because Touya is the worst! just the absolute worst. man fuck that guy!

so there are a couple of additional layers to this part. the first is that Katsuki is very much aware of the delicate balance that needs to be struck here. because he genuinely, unironically DOES know Shouto pretty damn well by now, and so he understands how conflicted Shouto is about his brother. and because he’s a good friend, he’s supportive of Shouto’s desire to somehow redeem Touya if at all possible. and so instead of going all in on how Touya is a founding member of the final villains club WHO BRAGGED ABOUT KILLING THIRTY PEOPLE and who also KIDNAPPED HIM THAT ONE TIME, the worst thing that Kacchan accuses him of here is... having a different favorite food than Shouto. this is basically the gentlest, mildest “fuck that guy” that anyone could have possibly given here.

and then the second bonus layer is that Katsuki is very clearly taking Shouto’s side here. that’s the only possible way for this joke to land. the humor works because Katsuki takes the mundane accusation of liking hot udon, and twists it into a sick fucking burn, because ONLY AN UNHINGED LUNATIC WOULD DARE TO LIKE SUCH A COMPLETELY OPPOSITE FOOD FROM COLD SOBA, THE BELOVED FAVORITE FOOD OF TODOROKI SHOUTO. in other words, if you don’t like Todoroki Shouto’s favorite food, then FUCK YOU! Team Soba all the way! so yeah, it has that connotation too, which is actually very sweet.

6. last but not least, I just want to take a moment to gush about how this was all just perfectly executed and timed. Shouto sets him up for it, and Kacchan pounces on the opportunity without hesitation and delivers the perfect response, which immediately relieves some of the quiet tension in the room, and honest to god actually makes Shouto laugh.

sort of! that was a chuckle at least! it counts!! anyways the point is, Katsuki read the room perfectly and understood that Shouto was trying to lighten the mood and didn’t want to have a heavy conversation about all of his feelings right now (which is something that Katsuki understands very well), so he followed Shouto’s lead and met him at that level, while still managing to communicate (1) “I know how conflicted you are about all of this”, (2) “I’ve got your back”, and most importantly, (3) “we are friends, and I care about you and support you in all things, you big soba loving freak.” it’s affectionate, it’s heartwarming, and it’s genuinely funny as hell.

anyway so yeah, that’s my RIDICULOUSLY, UNJUSTIFIABLY LONG post about what has instantly become one of my all time favorite little throwaway BnHA moments, right up there with the legendary “hey Kacchan!” scene. Kacchan being friends with people. Shouto getting some much-deserved love. Iida and Kirishima being there too, and presumably smiling and taking notes and maybe one day they can tell their children about this. that’s what it’s all about folks.

#bnha 342 #todoroki shouto #bakugou katsuki #bakugou meta #shouto meta #todobaku #todobaku meta #bnha meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #long post #PLEASE ENJOY THIS LONG META POST ABOUT A CHAPTER EVERYONE ELSE READ TEN WHOLE MONTHS AGO #1k+ words all about BAKUGOU'S DUMB UDON JOKE #heck yeah

940 notes · View notes

writtenbymisunderstoodnerds · 1 year

Text

Family is who you choose (USWNT x Adhd Reader)

Continuation of Just tell them

This is a combination of these requests: One, two

I had a shit day at work so you guys get a fic! This was requested a while ago. Hope you enjoy!

4.7k words

So I had forgotten to take my medication again today. I hadn't been able to sleep until late and slept through my alarm. It left me in a rush to get ready which meant I forgot my meds. Once again it was too late by time I realised. I was already dreading the day, my mind would be all over the place, but maybe it would be slightly better now that the team knew.

The first problem of the day was when I got told off by the coaches. I wasn't sure what I had done, all I had been doing was playing with a ball while I listened to them. It helped me actually focus on what they were saying.

"Y/n laps now."

"What did I do?"

Ali put her hand on my arm, "Just do them."

I stepped back, feeling myself getting defensive, "I didn't do anything though."

"Y/n-"

My eyes stung as angry tears tried to escape. When sensory overload starts happening, I was more irritable and emotional. I was already overstimulated, so it wasn't a surprise at how annoyed I was getting. Especially when I was being punished for seemingly nothing. All it did was bring me back to my childhood, where I was constantly in trouble for things I couldn't help or didn't even do. I wasn't one to openly display emotions that weren't good so I shook Ali off and walked away, "Whatever."

The rest of practice, I did my best to listen to the coaches and spoke up when needed, but other then that, I ignored everyone. I was still upset, but I also just needed space so I wouldn't get distracted. I didn't need to get in anymore trouble. Once practice finished, I made it to the locker room before everyone else and instantly went to shower.

Ali sat down on the bench in front of me as I was putting my things back in my bag. I tried to ignore her, but she pulled my bag away to get my attention, "What's wrong?"

I shrugged it off, grabbing my bag back, "Nothing. I'm fine."

"Ally said when you get quiet, you're likely either over stimulated or upset. We just want to help, talk to us."

Obviously, I wasn't getting out of this one so I took a deep breath to stop myself snapping and sat down next to her, "I'm both. My mind is a mess and I got in trouble for nothing."

"Y/n, you weren't listening, that's wh-"

"I was though! I could have told you pretty much everything he said. I'm not like you, I can't just sit still and listen. If I'm not doing something, my mind runs wild and I can't focus, I can't listen. No one bothered to listen to me though so yeah I'm a bit upset about it."

Ali sighed, pulling me into her side and kissing my temple, "I'm sorry Y/n, I shouldn't have made assumptions. We can talk to coach, explain that you need to be doing something, but you're still listening."

I felt a bit better that Ali actually listened instead of just dismissing me, "That would be good."

One of the girls started playing music, I ended up being dragged up to dance with them. I avoided being touched, that only increased my sensory overload, but I did sing loudly moving around the room without a care in the world. Despite having just finished practice, I had a lot of energy.

Eventually, it was time to head back to the hotel, but before we could leave I blurted out, "I want to play on the swings. Can we go to the park?"

The girls looked at me for a second before Emily grinned, looking at veterans, "Yeah can we?"

A few of the other younger players all agreed, giving them the same pleading look that I was. After a few seconds, Ali sighed, "Of course you can."

I squealed, jumping up and down before jumping into Ali's arms, "Yes!"

Pretty much the entire team had come with me to the park. I was a bit surprised, they likely had better things to do than watch a 24 year old run around a park. Despite that, some of the younger girls played with me while everyone else watched, laughing and smiling. Besides Ally and maybe one other close friend, I had never had people who willingly went to the park with me and didn't judge me for it. Now they knew about my ADHD, had never judged me for it and were always supportive, I was starting to be more myself around them. It was still a work in progress, but I was getting there slowly. An hour and a bit later, the girls dragged me back to the hotel for dinner.

It was team bonding night, normally I didn't mind it, I actually quite enjoyed it, but today I was dreading it. I had mostly been able to push through it today, to control the sensory overload, but everything was getting too overwhelming at the moment. I knew I wouldn't be able to sit through a movie or pay attention to any games they may want to play. Ali sat down next to me, hand going to my knee to stop it from bouncing, "We're going to watch a movie, I know you're probably a bit over stimulated so you can play Legos."

My head shot up at the mention of Lego, before confusion seeped in. I didn't have any Lego here, "Lego? What Lego?"

"Here. We got you this today." Alex pulled out a bag. There was a Doctor who Lego set which looked like the inside of a Tardis and there was a Jurassic world one that included a mansion and multiple different dinosaurs. It was two of my favourite shows/movies. I couldn't stop myself as I dropped the bag on the bed and jumped up and down clapping my hands. I was incredibly excited, the hardest part would be choosing which one to do first.

"Thank you, thank you!! I'm so excited." I gave Alex a quick hug before pulling away and playing with my fingers suddenly a bit nervous. I wanted to hang out with them, but I also really wanted to call Ally. We hadn't talked much today and I missed her, "Um can I play with them in my room?"

I saw concern flash across the veterans faces before Ali stepped forward, "Of course you can Y/n. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's just a bit much at the moment. Sensory overload or whatever. I think I'm going to call Ally, she can always quieten my mind."

Emily looked confused as she spoke up, "But you seem so excited."

"I am about the Legos, they look like so much fun, but sometimes the hyper activeness can get overwhelming. It may look like fun, but I can't control it and it just gets too much and I-I-I-"

Ali quickly cut me off, "It's okay, is there anything we can do to help?"

"A hug? Maybe Tierna?" Ever since we met, Tierna always brought me comfort. She gave amazing hugs and I was always able to relax even if it was just a little bit. Tierna smiled, opening her arms for me to fall into. It helped me relax a little bit, but I wished it was Ally. Even just hearing her voice calmed my mind.

After a few seconds of hugging Tierna, I jumped back up, "I'm going to play with my Lego!"

"We'll check on you later."

I set up at the desk before quickly facetiming Ally. She answered instantly. As usual she was sitting on the floor with papers all around her. She always worked more when I was away because I wasn't there to distract her.

Hey baby

My mind slowed down, body relaxing as I heard her voice, Hi love

You okay?

I forgot my meds this morning, I was just getting overwhelmed. Oh guess what!

You love me?

So much, but look the team got me Legos!! I have a doctor who one and a Jurassic world one!

That's awesome baby, are you going to do those now? What one are you going to do first?

Um, I think maybe the doctor who one. I was thinking I could do this with you on the phone? Unless you'll get bored?

Of course we can stay on call, I'll never get bored of being able to just look up and see you.

Thank you, tell me about your day?

It was sameold same old, but I have a story to tell you

I zoned out completely, my focus on the Legos and Ally's voice. It was just as much fun as I expected it to be. I knew it would be hard to pull myself away from it now that I had started. I don't know how long had passed, but I looked up at my phone, freezing when I saw Ally wasn't wearing anything with water slowly dripping off her.

Whoa, when did you get naked?

Ally laughed, turning to look at me quickly, About 15 minutes ago when I told you I was having a shower. I'm quite surprised the sound didn't make you look up.

You are gorgeous baby, but I was very much invested in my Legos. I'm almost finished this one!

I know baby, I also know you would have looked up in a heartbeat if I said I was getting naked, but I wanted you to have fun with your Lego. It's looking very good.

You are absolutely correct. You do look incredible though Ally.

Thank you, you're not so bad yourself. I expect to be taken with you next time you shower. How have things been since the team found out about your ADHD?

They're protective, but they make sure I take my meds most of the time anyway, try to help when I get over stimulated and I can just be myself. We all went to the park today because I wanted to. They're starting to work out what it actually means for me and how to help without going to far. I guess I need to thank you, I know you gave them tips and tricks about it.

Do I get to say I told you so now? They care about you Y/n, they just want to help, I just want to help, it's one of the only ways I knew how when we're apart.

I'm not upset about it Ally. I appreciate it. I know they care and I'm starting to open up more. I'm still trying to get past the thoughts and feelings of my childhood, there's still a lot I hide from them.

And that's okay, you're getting there though, you are letting yourself be more open, more yourself and I'm so proud of you.

I wouldn't have done any of this without you.

All I did was help you along when you needed it.

Before I could reply, the door opened which made me scramble to grab my phone as Ally still wasn't wearing anything. Ashlyn, Ali and Alyssa walked in, giving me a suspicious look as I turned around to face them, still hiding my phone. They must have got the key from Tierna.

Ashlyn tried to look what was on my screen, but I quickly blocked her, "What are you hiding?"

"Nothing."

She scoffed, giving me a pointed look, "Well that's a lie."

"Is that Ash?"

Ashlyn gave me a confused look, almost tilting her head like a puppy, "Why are you hiding Ally?"

I cleared my throat, glancing at the screen quickly before looking back at them, "She uh, she's well naked."

"Naked? You're to young for stuff like that!"

"I'm 24!"

"You're innocent!"

"I'm far from innocent! Ask Ally."

"Gross."

I laughed, along with Ally before explaining, "She just had a shower."

"I'm dressed now."

The girls had grown to really like Ally and I knew she was going to be taken from me so I blew her a kiss, "Bye baby. I love you."

---

For some reason I was struggling a lot more this camp than I normally would. While taking my meds did help me focus most of the time, I was restless, I wasn't sleeping well, and I found myself getting more over stimulated and irritable because of it. The team had noticed and were trying their best to help. They would distract me when possible, giving me things to do such as colouring or something to do with my hands. They had learnt when I needed a tight hug or to be left alone, when I needed quiet and when music helped. It had taken then a while and they didn't always get it right, but they were trying.

Today was a particularly hard day. I had slept really badly, I was overstimulated pretty much the minute I woke up. Normally a shower helped, but this morning it barely helped. Every little sound felt like it was enhanced, all the clothes I tried to put on except my sports bra, felt like little pins pressing against my skin and suffocating me. I didn't know how I was going to make it through breakfast. I just felt like I was going to cry at any second. Tierna watched as I tried shirt after shirt, each one feeling the same way. Eventually, Tierna took the shirt from my hand, "It's okay. You don't have to wear a shirt right now. Ali is going to bring you breakfast and we're just going to stay in the room for a while."

"T-thank you."

"Can I help in anyway?"

"Um, maybe a hug."

Tierna wrapped her arms around me tightly, my mind calmed down a bit as I relaxed against her. It wasn't enough to make everything stop, but it was enough that I didn't want to stop hugging her. Before she could pull away I quickly asked, "Please don't stop."

"Come here," Tierna said quietly, guiding me so I was lying down on the bed next to her, head on her chest as she held me tightly. I heard the facetime call tone before Tiernas phone was placed in front of me and Ally appeared.

Hi my love

Hi Al, aren't you at work?

I am, but I wanted to call and check in

I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me when you should be working

Don't do that. You're having a bad day, I'm going to take a few minutes to make sure you're okay. What's going on baby?

Everything's just wrong today. I wish you were here. Tiernas great, but she's not you

I know baby, me too. I'm glad she's helping a little bit at least. Thank you T

We talked for a few more minutes before Ally had to go to a meeting and the other Ali arrived with breakfast. I didn't feel like completely falling apart anymore which was good, but it still wasn't great. Ali gave me a tight hug before leaving while Tierna turned to me, "Do you want me to stay?"

"It's okay. I think some time alone will be good."

"Okay. Text if you need me. Come down if you want to, but you don't have to."

"Thank you T."

I stayed in my room for most of the day except when I went on a short walk around the hotel gardens. The girls brought me lunch and stayed for a little bit to watch tv with me. They weren't their usual loud and chaotic selves which I appreciated more than they would ever know. I was much more relaxed by the end of the day and I was able to join them for dinner. I hadn't heard from Ally again which sucked because she always helped, but I knew she was busy today and I couldn't expect her to always be around to help me. When 8pm rolled around and I still hadn't heard from her, I started to get worried. It wasn't normal to not hear from her for this long. I knew she was likely just working or out with friends. Given my current state though I was starting to let the self doubt creep in. Maybe she had finally had enough of me.

Ali sat down next to me as I was staring at my phone before it was taken from my hand, "You look like you're ready to murder your phone, what's wrong?"

It was stupid. I knew I was overreacting, I knew Ally would never do anything like what I was thinking. Today though, I couldn't stop it. So I told Ali everything. Ali wrapped her arm around my shoulder before flicking the side of my head, "Stop that. Stop even entertaining the idea. You know Ally would never do anything like what you're thinking. That girl loves you so much even a blind person could see it. You can always text her first, that's allowed."

"She's probably busy. I-I don't want to annoy her."

My temple was flicked again, "Stop that thinking. You don't annoy her when you text her. You don't annoy her full stop. So push that aside and text her."

Y/n: Hey love, I know you're busy, but I just wanted to tell you I love you and make sure you're okay. Look after yourself, don't forget to eat. Call me when you can.

"See, that was easy right?"

"Yes, you were right. Sorry for dumping all this on you."

"Never apologise for that. I'm always here for you."

Ally: Hey baby, I'm sorry I've been out of touch today, it's super busy here. I ate dinner, but I'm still at work. I don't think I'll be able to call again today, I'm exhausted and just planning on falling into bed when I get home, I'll message you before I go to bed. I love you

Ally had sent a photo of herself sitting at her desk, eyes tired with a matching tired smile. I hated how tired she looked. I hated that I knew most of it was because she wasn't sleeping well without me, the same way I wasn't sleeping well without her, "She's still at work."

"See, I told you so."

---

I was deep in conversation with Lindsey when there was a tap on my shoulder and a squeaky voice coming from behind me, "Hey beautiful, can I get your number?

"No I ha-" I cut myself off as I flung around to find Ally standing there, wide smile forming. I squealed, jumping up and wrapping my legs around her waist, before connecting our lips in a lingering kiss, "Ally!"

"Hey baby."

"How are you here?"

"The girls flew me out."

Once I pulled away, I turned to find the team standing behind us. Tears sprung to my eyes as I looked between each of them, "You guys did this?"

Ali smiled softly, nodding in conformation, "You've been struggling the last little while. We tried to help you, but it wasn't working. We love you, we wanted you to be okay and we figured this was the best way to help. You're allowed to get your own hotel room while she's here as well. Save Tierna from your grossness."

"Thank you guys. I-I love you, all of you. This, this- thank you."

"You're welcome kiddo."

Tierna was in our room and mine and Ally's room wasn't ready yet so Ally and I had snuck off to the meal room to have some time away from the girls. Ally had an excited smile on her face, "Why do you look so excited?"

Ally pulled out a little box, smile growing wider, "I was going to give you this later, but I can't wait. I saw this and thought of you instantly. It's a promise ring, my promise to you that I will always be by your side, my promise that when the time is right, it will be replaced by an engagement ring. I also know you struggle with rings so I put it on a chain. You can decide how you wear it."

"I love you so much Ally, I love this. I really want to try wearing it, it'll just be an adjustment."

I knew I wanted to marry Ally, but I also knew that we weren't quite there yet. Not because we didn't love each other enough or anything, we just wanted to focus on our careers before making that move. "You know I'm going to marry you one day right?"

"I know and I can't wait to marry you Y/n, but I also know the timings not right yet. You're just starting your national career, I'm working on this promotion. It'll happen when the time is right. I have something else for you. It was supposed to be for our anniversary, but there were delays and it took way longer then planned."

Ally gave me a wrapped package, watching me as I carefully unwrapped it. It was a photo album. The first picture was of Ally on my back, matching grins on our faces as we looked at each other. We had only been together for a month or so when that photo was taken, yet it was one of my favourite pictures. There were many different photos from different stages of our relationship and with our friends and family. Beside each photo of us, Ally had written a little message. Like next to a photo we had taken during a beach picnic, Ally was looking at me with so much love in her eyes while I was looking out at the water. Next to it, she had written 'This was the day I knew I had fallen in love with you. The effort you put into surprising me, the way I knew I didn't want it to end, the way my heart raced and butterflies erupted when you looked at me, I knew without a doubt, that I was in love with you.'

Tears stung my eyes as I closed the album, pulling her into a tight hug. I loved her more than anything in this world.

"I don't understand! How are you so fucking amazing, so god damn cute? You're so understanding and so loving it's not fair! God I love you so much, what did I do to deserve you? You just need to stop because I-" I ranted, much to Ally's amusement, but was cut off by Emily speaking up. I hadn't realised they had shown up.

"Woah, what's going on? Are you two fighting?"

Ally laughed, turning to the other girls, "Quite the opposite actually. Y/n here is apparently annoyed by how cute and loving I am."

"It's very hard to focus on anything other then you and it's not fair. Like how am I supposed to focus on anything other than marrying her when she goes and does shit like this?"

They looked confused at the book I was holding, "A photo album?"

"Look at it."

They flipped through the different photos of Ally and I, reading the little messages she had written, "This is cute."

"I know! And I love it! It's adorable and it makes me just fall for her even more."

"Then what's the problem?"

"It's distracting! I'm supposed to be focusing on my career and all I can think about is running off to make her my wife. It's not fair."

Ally just laughed, arm wrapping around my waist and leaving a lingering kiss on my lips, "You are adorable Y/n. I love you."

"Yeah I love you too."

"Has this happened before?"

"Yup, mostly when I do something cute. I find it hilarious."

I pulled her into my side, peppering kisses across the side of her face. Then I remembered the Lego I had sitting on the desk in my room. I pulled away quickly, practically jumping up and down with excitement, "Baby come see my Lego!"

Ally laughed as I dragged her away. Ali called from behind us just before we went out of ear shot, "I expect to see you at dinner Y/n."

I stopped in front of my desk, pointing at the nearly finished Tardis, "Look, look, look."

"This is awesome Y/n/n, is it almost finished?"

"Yes, I want to finish it so bad."

"You can work on it now if you want to."

"I really do, but I want to do this more," I pulled her close, connecting our lips in a soft kiss. I relaxed against her, hands slipping under her shirt as hers looped around my neck. Things got a bit heated as Ally's fingers buried in my hair and mine traveled up her back then trailed over her stomach. Ally moaned when my tongue met hers, pulling me impossibly close. I pushed her onto the bed, lips finding her neck as I fumbled with the button on her jeans.

Just as Ally finished, my phone vibrated in my back pocket, making me pull away.

Tierna: I gave you as much time as I could to do whatever it is you're doing, but I've been sent to get you. You have 2 minutes before I open the door. Please be decent.

I laughed, showing Ally the message. She pecked my lips quickly before going to get cleaned up while I opened the door. Tierna was standing just down the hall, "Thank you T."

"Anytime Y/n."

---

I sighed cuddling further into Ally's side, feeling more relaxed than I had since I left for camp. Ally kissed my temple, "You okay baby?"

"You're here so I'm amazing. I missed you Al."

She held me tighter, fingers tracing patterns across my arm, "Me too Y/n. I missed you."

"I hate that I have to travel so much."

"It's part of your job, we make it work."

"I know that, I just wish you could come with me to more camps. Purely for my own selfish reasons of having you around all the time."

Ally rolled over onto her stomach so she was facing me, "You know, if I get this promotion then I'll be able to work from pretty much anywhere most of the time."

"Wait, really?"

"Yup. Which means I could potentially come to more camps with you, if you want to be around me that much that is."

"I fucking love you Ally. There's not a second that goes by that I don't want to be around you, that I don't crave being around you. Marry me Ally. I know we said that we should wait, but I don't want to. I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side. This isn't how I planned it, I don't have a ring and it doesn't have to be now, but right now I want to call you my fiancé. So Ally, will you marry me?"

"Fuck yes, yes I'll marry you Y/n. I don't care about a ring or some elaborate proposal. We could get married in the court house tomorrow for all I care. As long as I get to spend my life with you."

---

I skipped into the meal room, feeling on top of the world and hyperactive, but mostly happy. It wasn't unexpected, I got to marry the girl I was absolutely in love with and I actually slept well for the first time since camp started.

"Hello ladies," I sung before skipping over to Ally and pecking her lips, "Hello my beautiful fiancé."

"Hi gorgeous, you're awfully happy this morning."

"Well can you blame me? I get to marry the most beautiful girl in the world, also I slept really well so you get to deal with that."

Ally groaned playfully, "Oh no, however will I cope? Let alone for the rest of our lives."

"Wait, you're engaged?!? I thought you were waiting?" Tobin asked loudly, gathering the attention of everyone in the room.

I couldn't help the wide smile that grew, "I couldn't wait any longer."

Ali hugged me tightly, placing a kiss to my forehead, "I'm so happy for you kid. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you Ali, I need your help," I whispered so no one else could hear. I needed to find the perfect ring for Ally, but I knew I would overthink it too much. I also knew the girls would turn it into something bigger then I needed it to be.

"Anything."

"I need help finding a ring for Ally."

"Of course I'll help. We can sneak out this afternoon, just me and you."

"Thank you Ali."

Emily jumped on my back, "So when's the wedding?"

I pulled her off, taking the opportunity to pull her in for a noogie, "I don't know."

Ally separated us, barely containing her laugh, "We were thinking a court house wedding."

"No!"

"You have to have a wedding!"

As the girls talked about the wedding, I couldn't help feeling that I had found my family. I had found a group of people that didn't see me as my quirks, hyper activeness, overstimulation or problems. They saw me as me, they supported me for who I was. I had the love of my life and my family. I was truly loved by people I saw as family for maybe the first time in my life. I was happy.

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #woso x reader #woso imagines

296 notes · View notes

cmncisspnandmore · 11 months

Text

Silent Moments

Spencer x Reader

Warnings: Kidnapping, torture, blood, gore, past character death. Mention of dead mom. Suicide.

Request:

Hello, I was wondering if I could make a request? Maybe it’s a Spencer x Reader and the reader is blind/deaf/mute (you pick which one) and the UnSub gets a hold of them and gets angry as they don’t understand why reader can’t answer their questions?

Authors note: This is not cannon, and doesn't follow the cannon timeline. Hotch isn't gone, and Morgan never left (Solely because i am stalling hardcore on finishing criminal minds and haven't really gotten too far into the seasons without Hotch and Morgan being gone.)

~~~~~

Most people believe that selective mute people are faking it. That we are purposely trying to avoid talking to others. That's not the case, at one point we were normal people. Having conversations, making jokes. Living life without taking our words for advantage. Then something happens, this horrid ugly anxiety rears its head, trapping the words inside. For you, it happened when you were 15, and you found your mother in the bathtub, dead as a doornail. The only indication that anything was wrong was the note taped to the bathroom mirror apologizing for the mess. From that day on, it was like your words were stuck in a box, locked in the bottom of your chest.

You managed to finish highschool at home, through online classes, and copious amounts of anti anxiety meds. But for some reason those pesky words never came back. Every once in a while you would find a sound, but never anything intelligible. You got into college, studying criminal psychology. Communicating through writing on papers, and some signed english. Everyone was always trying to get you to talk, often getting frustrated when you didn't. It wasn't that you didn't want to talk, it was that you couldn't. If they thought they were frustrated, they should try living in your head. It had been almost 6 years since you said anything. You missed your own voice, therapy felt useless at this point. Medications were the only thing keeping you from going insane during the day.

Then you met Dr. Spencer Reid in your serial killer lecture. He didn't try to get you to talk, he didn't treat you like you were dumb or that it was fake. He saw you for you. He took time to meet with you and answer the questions you had about his lectures. He would carve out hours of his own time when he was home to just get to know you. He would talk to you about anything and everything when the two of you worked through the entire lesson of the day.

Spencer never once took your mutism as a burden. Eventually the semester came to an end, You was no longer his student, he no longer your professor. So when you stopped into his office almost a year ago, staring at him across his desk. Spencer just smiled, and asked if everything was alright, if i had needed anything. He was stunned when you managed to whisper that you wanted to have coffee with him, your body shaking with anxiety. It had taken you hours of practice and countless days of sending yourself into a sheer panic, to manage to get out those simple words that so many others wouldn't think twice about.

So when you finally looked up at Spencer, and seeing tears openly falling from his eyes, you were shocked. It was in that moment that you knew, your words would be safe with him. After a moment Spencer had walked around his desk, tear stained cheeks and all. To hug you tight as you broke down from the mental and emotional exhaustion those words had caused.

From that day on, you two became inseparable. Over the years you’ve been together, you have managed to open up the box that your words were kept in around him. You could have actual conversations at times. It was still hard and draining, but you could manage, a few words here and there when out in public around his team.

When you had first met them they were nothing but understanding. They never pushed you and often times, would just text you throughout the day when they were on cases to make sure you’re doing okay. They had become your family. They cared for you in ways your own family couldn't after your mothers death.

When someone knocked on the apartment door, you opened it without hesitation, seeing a man in a suit standing there. His hair slicked back, a gun in a holster by his hip. He looked like he could work with Spencer and the team so you didn't think much of it when you saw him through the peephole moments before.

“Are you Y/N?” He asked, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a FBI badge flashing it at you. You nodded, worry clouding your mind as the man nodded.

“Im here to bring you to the hospital, something has happened to Spencer Reid. I was told to collect you immediately.” He reaches his hand out taking you by arm, you nod silently as your apartment door slams shut as he guides you down the hall.

Your mind is foggy as he helps you into a black SUV and starts to drive. After a few moments you begin to realize youre going the opposite way of the hospital. Your mind is screaming at you that something is wrong, but your words are locked up tight. The crippling anxiety starts to seep into your every muscle.

“You stupid bitch, you're gonna pay for what your precious boyfriend did to my brother.” the man driving pulls the gun out of the holster and presses it against your side as he drives.

“At least you're not a screamer.” He smiles as tears flood your vision, and he presses the gun harder against your side.

~~~~

Spencers POV

Walking through the bullpen Spencers gut is telling him something isn't right. You normally would have picked up the phone when he called even if you weren't able to say anything. But his last 4 calls have gone unanswered. His facetimes as well. The door to Hotchner's office is open, and Spencer walks through the doorway, urgency in his steps.

“Reid?” Hotch sets the stack of papers down on his desk, his brow furrowing.

“Something is wrong, i don't know what but Y/N isn't picking up.” Spencers rushes out, pacing in front of his desk.

“Care to explain?”

“She always picks up, or at least sends me a text saying that she cant talk right now. Not in the selective mute sense, but as in shes doing something and unable to pick up the phone you know. But i called her like 5 times and facetimed her with the stupid phone she made me get, and nothing. Its been radio silence on the other end. Im really starting to worry.” Spencer raked a hand through his unruly hair.

With a nod Hotch stood from his desk, “okay, we’ll figure it out.”

As hotch picked up his phone to dial the rest of the team, Penelope ran into the office, her face horror struck. “I-I just got live video feed…. Someone hacked into my network. Oh god, its bad. So bad… I don't know how they got in. Im gonna have to fix that.” Garcia gushed, her eyes wide.

“Garcia whats wrong? Whats on the live feed?” Hotch urged, placing a hand on her arm trying to bring her back to the whole reason she came into the room. Garcia's eyes flickered to Hotch before she scurried over to his computer her manicured nails tapping furiously on the keys.

“It’s being bounced between a whole bunch of servers so im having a hard time tracing it, but its better if you just see.” She replies as she turns the monitor to face Spencer and Hotchner.

On the screen through a grainy camera feed sat you, tied to a chair, ropes on your wrists and ankles. Your head was down, your hair obscuring part of your face, but spencer would recognize you anywhere. No matter how bad the camera quality was. He spent hours memorizing every part of your face, and body. He knew your mannerisms better than his own. He didn't even need his eidetic memory to know it was you. Your face jerks up suddenly, the videos lack of sound made spencer wonder what you heard on the other end. Your left eye was swollen shut, and your lip was split and bleeding. Your hair was stained red around your temple. You were shaking your head, and suddenly sound crackled through the speakers on Hotchner's computer.

“Are you going talk to me? Tell me why they think my brother murdered those women?!” A male voice seethed, his masked form appearing in front of you as he stepped out from behind the camera. There was nothing to identify him by, he was wearing all black, a ski mask, his voice was distorted. Spencers mind was racing through all the cases they worked, but there were so many unknown factors. How long ago had the case been worked? How many women? Where was the case? How many siblings were there? Just one pair of brothers?

There were hundreds of people who could be holding you captive. They worked so many cases a year, without more context it was hard to narrow it down. But whoever this person was they believed that their brother didn't commit the crimes he was convicted of and he was gonna use you to get to the team.

“S-she cant answer him, he doesn't realize she cant tell him anything.” Garcia whispered as the man yelled at you once again. Causing you to flinch as he struck out with his hand, sticking across your cheek.

“TELL ME!” He screamed, the speakers on the computer distorting with the volume of his voice.

Once again, the demand went unanswered. “Fine, if you're not gonna tell me, then maybe i’ll give them some incentive to look a little deeper at the case, my brother was executed for a crime he didn't commit. Wanna know why? Because im the one who killed those women. I want his name cleared. You have 12 hours, before i gut her like fish. Tick Tock Dr. your time is running out.”

The screen went black as video cut out, a flashing timer appearing where your picture once was, counting down the time the team had left.

Spencers heart dropped, and everything felt cold. How were they going to sift through hundreds of cases before time ran out.

~~~~

Your POV

Your head hurt, you could taste blood, and you’re pretty sure you won't be able to see out of you eye for a month. The man who took you was pacing back and forth behind the camera on the tripod he had set up. He was muttering to himself, talking about how there was no way they would be able to save you.

“You know, your life would be a lot easier if you just talked to me. Told me why, But no you choose to keep your mouth shut. And you know what? You’re gonna die because of it. I hope you trying to protect your precious boyfriend is worth your life.” He smiled, grabbing you by your hair, yanking your head backwards. You could see the camera lens, but you knew that it was off, the red light that was on when he was talking to who you assumed was the team was off.

A small whimper left you as he brushed a gloved hand down your cheek. You wanted nothing more than to scream and tell him that you knew nothing. That spencer and the others didn't tell you that sort of information, they didn't want to risk upsetting you. He didn't seem to care or grasp the concept that you couldnt talk to him.

“Now im gonna go and drop off a little hint for them, make the game more exciting you sit here like a good girl okay?” He patted your cheek before walking away to the computer he was using to live stream to the team. He turned the monitor towards you, starting the stream again.

“I’ll be watching you, so don't try anything while im gone.”

The door slammed shut after a moment. Your head was still aching as you blinked at the screen. You didn't know what was going to happen, and the hopeless feeling got worse as you watched the timer tick down.

~~~~~ Spencers POV

The whole team was gathered around the round table. Morgan was sifting through piles of work, handing the cases that contained male unsub to spencer who was reading them just as fast as they were handed to him. Garcia had set up her computers on the round table, trying to desperately back trace the connection of the live feed.

“Garcia you getting anywhere” JJ asks after a few moments, watching the techs fingers get faster over the keys.

“Actually yes, I was able to back hack him and get into the stream but i still cant get where its coming from.” She muttered as she glanced up at Spencer.

“Wait, you’re in the computer hes streaming from?” Spencers hand hovered over the page he was reading a moment before.

“Yes why?” Garcias full attention was now on the genius.

“Can you get a message to Y/N, she might be able to give us a hint on where she is.” Spencer rounded the table, his stomach clenching at the sight of you. You were staring directly at the camera. Your eyes vacant, much like when your xanax kicked in after particularly bad panic attack.

“I think so but he wouldn't leave this up of he wasn't watching it as well.” Garcias fingers were moving over the keys again. Overtaking the computer remotely.

“Thats fine, just tell her that we can see her, and that were looking for her.” Spencer glanced down at the screen again.

“Okay. i’ll try.” Garcia muttered under her breath, as she brought up a text screen on the computer. Quickly typing out a message, and waiting for you to notice it. The whole team was now watching the camera. Waiting to see if you would respond, after a moment your eyes scanned the text. With wide eyes you looked directly at the camera, more tears flooded down your cheek.

A knock on the door caught everyone's attention, a delivery boy stood in the doorway a visitors pass stuck to his jacket. “Um i was told to deliver this to a Spencer reid…” in his outstretched was a blue box with a white ribbon.

“Who gave this to you?” Spencer asks, pulling the box from the boys arms, ripping open the ribbon and tearing back the flaps of the box. Inside lay 2 identical pins, each a snake with red eyes, and black stripes.

“Um just some guy, i didn't really see him, he was in a dark suv, you know government looking vehicles. It didn't have any plates or anything, all he said was make sure this got to spencer reid in the BAU.” The boy looked between them all.

“Thank you,” Hotch said as he took the boy by the arm, “Agent Morgan, is gonna ask you a few questions.”

With a nod at Spencer, Morgan followed Hotch out of the room. “What significance is a pin?” Emily wondered out loud.

“Ive never seen anything like this before.” JJ murmured, peering over spencers shoulder.

“Its gotta mean something. It was intended for me, so it must be for me to figure out.” Spencer glanced down into the box again. What kind of message was the Unsub trying to send.

“Um shes trying to tell us something!!” Garcia's voice broke the silence that settled over the room as spencer wracked his brain for what the pins could mean.

“I -I cant tell what shes trying to sign, im not very good at it. We usually communicate on paper.” Garcia moved aside, as spencer moved around the table.

Your fingers were moving rapidly, fingerspelling something out, but without your full range of motion, it was hard to tell what letters you were spelling out. “Can you isolate her hand movements?” Spencer wondered.

“Yeah, yeah give me a second.” Garcia’s fingers worked overtime to isolate your hand movements.

“S-c-a-r e-y-e b-l-i-n-d… Scar, eye, blind. He has a scar through one eye, hes blind in one eye!” Spencer announces. The whole team pausing for a moment to think back on the cases.

“Wait wait, you said that there was 2 identical pins in the box? What if hes telling us hes an identical twin.” Emily wonders, walking back over to the pile of cases spencer had been going through.

“The Ashby case! Twin brothers, one has a scar, yes! The Ashby twins, in knoxville tennessee. Jordan was thought to have murdered 3 women on his parents farm. He had an identical twin brother Joesph, but we ruled Joesph out because we didn't think he would be able to commit the crimes with having surgery on his eye after a car accident left him blind in his left eye.” Spencer remembers, the hospital records showed that Joseph had declined his home visit nurses around when Jordan was murdering the women.

“What if Joseph had his brother pose as him, all he had to do was have him put gauze over his eye and refuse the let the home nurses check it. No one would figure it out that it was actually Jordan. Jordan must’ve just been an accomplice, he never actually murdered those women. He still would’ve gone to jail, but he wouldn’t have face the death penality. “ Emily opens up the file, laying it out on the table, the crime scene pictures laid out. Spencers eyes race over the pictures, until something in the top corner of one of the pictures of the living room catches his eye. In a glass hutch is a set of identical snake pins. Just like the ones in the box.

“The pins! They were in the house.” Spencer exclaims, pointing to the hutch, so everyone can see it.

“Okay so now we know who has her, but how do we find her?” Emily looks over at Garcia who is waiting with fingers poised over her computer keys.

“Garcia check and see if Joseph has used a card anywhere in our area within the last week, i want to know when and where he got here.” JJ says, going to stand behind the tech, watching as her finger fly over the keys.

The timer appears over the small window Garcia has open, the count down now saying they have less than an hour to find you. Static crackles through the speakers and Josephs voices pours in.

“Oh no, you didn't play by the rules. I said not to do anything, i saw you though, telling them things through the camera. Now since you broke my rules, im giving you one hour to find her, before i make this dumb mute scream.”

~~~

Your POV

Blood rushing in your ears makes everything sound muffled, as your captor pulls a hunting knife out of his pocket. “You know, I said I’d give them an hour to find you, but I think we can have some fun beforehand, right?” His grimy hand slides across your cheek down your lip.

“I’m gonna have so much fun.” He smiles, trailing the knife up your chest, cutting the fabric of your shirt. He trails the knife down the top drawing a thin line of blood as he increases the pressure, cutting into the skin by your collarbones.

Hot pain sears through you, and bile rises in your throat as he gets closer. Your head is pounding, as he continues dragging the blade across your skin. Almost like he’s painting a sick and twisted picture with his knife. Tears have soaked the front of your shirt, stinging the wounds that decorated your chest.

“C’mon it’s no fun if you don’t scream!” He seethes, just as he raises his knife and slams it into your thigh, right down to the plastic handle. It takes everything in you not to scream. To resist, to not give him the satisfaction of knowing how much it hurt. It’s hard to breathe as the pain lingers, gripping you with icy hands. He rips the blade out of your leg, and blood starts to pour out of the wound. Soaking through your jeans and dripping onto the floor. You vision goes fuzzy around the edges after a few moments, only to be brought right back as he proceeds to do it again. Higher up this time, closer to your femoral artery. A cold sweat breaks out over your body, the room tilts slightly, and your head falls forward, black spots dancing across your vision.

Out of the corner of your eye you catch a small movement, a glimpse of dark blue against the nearly black shadows of the warehouse. After a moment you see it again, as your captor picks up the knife again, holding it in his hands, staring at you for a moment before moving towards you again.

“FBI DROP YOUR WEAPON!” Morgan’s loud voice echoes across the building. He emerges from behind a pallet, followed by the rest of the team, sans JJ who appears seemingly out of nowhere, with her gun aimed at his head.

“It’s over Joseph,” Spencer’s voice causes your head to groggily turn towards him. A small whine-like sound escapes, startling Joseph and he drops the knife. As it hits the ground JJ reaches forward grabbing his arms and dragging him to the ground Morgan rushing over to help restrain him.

“Spencer…. Help me.” Your chest heaves as you watch him slide to his knees in front of you. His long fingers press against your jeans staunching the flow of blood from the wounds.

“I got you, you’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be fine.” He tells you, resting his forehead against yours as tears flow freely down his cheeks. You can faintly hear Emily calling for an ambulance, as the world fades away.

~~~

2 months later

“Y/n! Oh look at you! Those shoes are ADORABLE!!!” Garcia's cheery voice startles you slightly as Spencer reaches down helping you out of the car. You were attending a party at Rossi’s, the first one after you were released from the hospital after the incident.

Glancing down you take in the low heeled strappy shoes you were wearing. They were the only somewhat fancy shoes you could walk in, you were still going to physical therapy 3 times a week to strengthen your leg. Joseph’s knife had done some serious damage to the nerves and muscles. The emerald green dress you were wearing fell to just below your knees, hiding the compression brace on your thigh.

“Thank you,” You smiled, and Garcia stopped, tears springing to her eyes.

“You know the shoes are great, but hearing your voice just made my entire week. I thought you were never going to talk to us again.” She cried, grabbing you and pulling you close. You had spent almost a full month non verbal, not even talking to Spencer. But after spending a few weeks in a psychiatric care facility you had made amazing progress. You still had your bad moments, but you had been practicing with Spencer all the time, talking to him, working on not letting the overwhelming panic take over.

“You’re doing amazing sweetheart,” Spencer wrapped his arms around your waist after Penelope let go. You both made your way into Rossi’s house, it was decked out in string lights and soft white and gold decor.

After a few minutes of saying hello, and people getting over the fact that you were walking, and talking again. You leaned over towards Morgan, raising your champagne flute to your mouth, “what are we celebrating?”

Morgan glanced down at you, a playful smile on his face. “You’ll see,” he said with a suspicious twinkle in his brown eyes. The music changed to a soft slow song and Spencer appeared next to you, his hand on your elbow.

“Care to dance?” He smiled.

With a nod you allowed him to take your champagne flute, and set it on the bar top. Pulling you onto the dance floor in the middle of Rossi’s, Spencer rested his hands on your hips, swaying softly. The song came to an end, and the next one started.

JJ came over, “Can we take a picture?” She asked, holding up a camera. You leaned into her side and smiled wide.

“Great thanks!” She gushed, taking a few steps back towards Will. You turned around and were momentarily confused. Spencer was just behind you. Then a small movement in your peripheral made you look down. You hands immediately covering your face, Spencer was down on one knee. A beautiful 3 carat round diamond ring with two smaller marquise cut diamonds on the side sat in a red velvet box.

“Y/n, we have been through hell and back, especially this past year: but there is no one I would’ve wanted to go through it with other than you. You have shown me a new perspective on life. You taught me to appreciate the little things, and not take things f

or granted. I know I’m not the one who usually struggles to put things into words. But I don’t think any words could ever describe how much I love you. So would you do me the honor, and marry me?” Spencer’s eyes were glassy with tears as he looked up at you.

“Yes, a million times yes.” You nodded, a smile breaking out over Spencer face as he stood sliding the ring onto your finger and kissing you deeply.

Maybe talking wasn’t always such a bad thing.

#spencer #spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #mute #spencer x reader #Criminal Minds #x reader #reid #x you #criminal minds x reader #spencer x you

223 notes · View notes

cantwritethetword · 2 months

Text

Donna, Human, Yes

Fic Descript: During an argument, Donna discovers that the doctor has a rather human weakness. When he insists he's not ticklish, she has to prove him wrong.

~A/N - I RETURN FROM THE DEADDDDDDDDDD

Yes writers blocked kicked my ASS last year (aside from squealing santa, i feel like i did ok with that one hehe) but I'm back with this lil fic.

I watched the Doctor Who specials FINALLY and I cried so many times omfg it was so good to see David Tennant and Catherine Tate back together again being lil chaotic besties through all of time and space, so of course I had to write something for it !!!!

And you are bearing witness to the magic of my adhd meds in action !!! I've been so productive in the last hour it's great !!! (EDIT: didn't write this in an hour, just to be clear. took me a little while but ADHD MEDS WORKED FOR BOTH TIMES YAY)

Just something cute and fluffy af ^^ love you all <3

- Enoy! ~

Tag List: @carrie-tate

Masterpost Link

The bond between Donna and The Doctor was certainly one for the ages.

Human words couldn't do justice to the type of bond they had, at least that's what The Doctor claimed in his newer, more openly emotional regeneration. Their love was too strong for just the term of friendship, too close for anything romantically implied, too adoring to be siblings. Even the term soulmates had a particularly selective connotation to it that left a bad taste in The Doctor's mouth.

Nevertheless, it was clear they could hardly live without the other. There was enough love between them to power galaxies, and knowing their history neither would be surprised if it had.

And it was this closeness, this fierce tenderness, that led to discussions such as this. Displays of deep affection half-heartedly disguised behind harsh tones and disgruntled gestures.

"You may be a high and mighty Time Lord, but you're still an idiot." Donna huffed, as the TARDIS finally settled after takeoff.

The Doctor scoffed. "I'll try not to take that to heart, and I thought that escape went quite well!"

"YOU THOUGHT-" Donna stopped herself, breathing deeply to try and contain her shit that was threatening to lose itself. "The only reason we even STARTED to escape was because I PUSHED YOU TO THE EXIT!"

"Well yeahhhh..." The Doctor rolled his head, letting his eyes drift away from his companion's. "But-."

"But NOTHING." Donna interjected. "It's the same thing every time! You start running your mouth and saving the day, and that's wonderful, but you don't know when to stop!"

"Donna I-"

"Let me finish." She snapped, raising a pointed finger towards him and stepping closer.

The Doctor held his hands up in front of him with a gentle nod of the head.

"You drag yourself through hell, running and ranting and... and sonic-ing!"

A small snicker escaped The Doctor, but he straightened his face almost instantly after when her angry look didn't waver.

"You can't control yourself!"

He didn't dare argue.

"I always have to pull. your. arse. out.!" She accentuated each of the last words with a corresponding poke to The Doctor's torso.

And while she expected the pokes to help get her point across, she definitely was not expecting the almost childish giggle that spilled out of his mouth. Or the awkward jerk his body made to cover the ribs she had prodded.

But Donna wasn't stupid. She didn't waste any time in a state of surprise, no she jumped straight to (correct) conclusions.

"Oh no way." She grinned, creeping closer to the now incredibly flustered Time Lord.

"Now Donna," The Doctor began, his mouth twitching upwards in a nervous smile of self-betrayal. "You don't know what this is."

Donna gave a singular breathy chuckle. "Nice try sunshine, but you're not yapping your way out of this one."

"There are countless reasons why... why I would... flinch away from you like that!" He continued rambling.

"I know ticklish when I see it sweetheart." She smiled sweetly, though there was nothing sweet about the predatory glint in her eyes.

"What?!" The Doctor tensed, almost frozen in place at the mention of the word. Though quickly forced himself back into talking his way out of the situation in a faux-calm tone. "Uh, Doctor, Time Lord, no."

She smirked, stepping closer to him.

"Donna," she paused, reveling in just how much she was getting to him. "Human," she paused again, less than a few feet away from him. "Yes."

And then she lunged.

Her hands met his sides and The Doctor curled inwards, his arms tangling themselves in a fruitless effort to push her away.

For a moment, there was nothing but the sounds of Donna's fingertips clawing against the fabric of The Doctor's shirt, before he finally cracked.

Bubbly giggles spluttered out of The Doctor's chest as he folded forwards, allowing Donna to slip behind him and trap him in a bear hug. His knees slowly buckled, and (with no chance at keeping someone his height upright by herself), Donna followed his squirming body to the floor.

"Dohohohonnahaha!" He squeaked between bouts of helpless laughter, but her name was barely comprehensible amongst the childish noises she tickled out of him. "Ihihihi-!... wahahai-!... stahahaha-!..."

She chuckled, rolling her eyes as her hands climbed up into his armpits. "What was that?"

He couldn't reply with anything other than a squeal, writhing for a few seconds before his body finally submitted to the playful torture. He tried to splutter a few words out, but nothing could make its way through the torrent of giggles currently occupying his voice box. THe man had gone practically limp, aside from his hands which were still seized up like a tyrannosaurus rex.

"I never thought I'd see the day..." Donna shook her head in amusement as she skittered her fingernails around his collarbones. "That anyone would render you speechless."

"DOHOHOHON-! WAHAHAI-! IHIHIHI-!"

She laughed again. "Keep trying space man."

"IHIHIHI-! CAHAHAHA-!" He chortled, his hands suddenly free enough to slap themselves to his cheeks to cover his embarrassment.

"Whaaaat~?" She teased, rapidly poking him in one side while squeezing the other.

"IT TIHIHICKLES!" He somehow blurted out, before breaking into cackles as Donna transitioned to dual-hand squeezing. "DONNA PLEHEHEASE!"

It was Donna's turn to cackle, though hers was much shorter and much more controlled of course. "It tickles, does it? I had no idea."

Aside from the odd jolt when Donna hit a particularly sensitive spot, The Doctor had gone practically limp. All that laughter had fully sapped his energy, and he was leaning his back against Donna's chest to keep himself upright.

Taking her chance, Donna once again decided to change her position to further destroy the man. Sliding back from under him (taking care he wouldn't fall back and whack his head on the TARDIS floor - she wasn't that cruel), Donna pulled his arms from covering his face and stretched them above his head.

In his state of ticklish delirium, The Doctor didn't quite notice what was happening. Assuming she had finally taken pity on him, he focused on catching his breath with a stupid grin still stuck to his face.

That was until the moment her shins pinned his arms to the floor.

He locked eyes with her, now fully aware of just how screwed he was. With Donna kneeling above him, she had full access to the armpits she had assaulted with ticklish claws just moments ago.

"Nononono Donna you can't!" He begged, legs kicking wildly with every word. "You'll kill me!"

She shrugged, "You'll regenerate." before putting her typing skills to good use and pitter-pattering her fingertips against his underarms.

The Doctor clamped his mouth closed, thrashing his head to one side with his eyes screwed shut in a soon-to-be vain attempt to not react to the unbearable sensations radiating through his body. But even a mighty Time Lord could only hold out for so long.

After less than ten seconds (which The Doctor would later argue was a rather impressive length of time), he crumbled. The childish, high-pitched giggles returned and he was once again a mess beneath Donna's touch.

"Oh!" Donna gasped, slowing her fingers in response to the Doctor's slightly wheezy breathing. "And if you do regenerate, I'll be the first person ever to tickle two Time Lords!"

Aside from the occasional titter, The Doctor could finally gain control over himself again. He gulped mouthfuls of air as Donna climbed off his arms, and slowly sat up next to her.

"Not-" He panted, still more than a little out of breath.

Donna chuckled. "Take your time."

"Not tw-" His huffing interrupted again. "Not two."

She gave him a quizzical look.

"Even if I-... regenerate... I'm still the same... singular Time Lord." He corrected. "You've only tickled the one, and to be honest it happened a lot back on Gallifrey so you're not particularly sp-"

She barked a singular laugh, cutting him off. "God, you really don't know when to shut up."

His confusion turned to giggly panic when Donna pushed him back to the floor again and sat on top of his hips. "Nononono Donna not agAIN-!"

#crow's tickle fic #doctor who tickle fic #tenth doctor tickle fic #is the ending kind of abrupt? idk please tell me lol #this was a cute fic tho i like it hehehehehe

47 notes · View notes

starlostastronaut · 4 months

Text

DAY 19 | HOLD ON

PAIRING: lee minho x reader

GENRE: slight angst with happy ending, fluff, spy au

WC: 1.09k

CW: spy typical mentions of violence/guns/injury etc, they fight for like two seconds

PROMPT: "if you die, i'll kill you"

in true teri fashion, the prompt is just inspo, i mainly wrote this as continuation of the last minho one (day 16), but i can be read as standalone as well :) i have to admit, i'm in love with this au. what do you say stars, multichap fic in 2024? anyway, enjoy reading <3

title from unsteady - x ambassadors

general masterlist here

<< previous | mctc masterlist | next >>

You were pacing from one side of the room to the other. Out of the corner of your eye you caught Felix's gaze. With your head down and a guilty look on your face, you stopped pacing and headed towards one of the chairs in the back of the room. You sat down and folded your hands in your lap, trying to stay calm. Your pacing around wasn't helping anybody, and Felix had already got up three times to direct you back to your chair. Now he was standing up for the fourth time, despite you already sitting. Quietly, as to not disturb the people working, he stalked over to you, taking the empty seat next to you. He threw one arm around you, bringing you to his side to comfort you.

“He's going to be okay,” he said. “It's Minho we're talking about. He always pulls through.” Felix gently rubbed your arm, minding the bandage on your bicep.

You slumped against his body. “I know, but I should be there with him. He hasn't gone solo in so long.” Your voice was laced with worry as you looked up to Felix, seeking reassurance in his face. “I just can't shake the thought that something happened and I'm not there to help him.” Felix only pulled you closer, resuming the gentle strokes on your arm.

You couldn’t help but worry. On your last mission, a bullet ended up in your arm. If anything, it was your fault because you weren’t cautious enough, but Minho still blamed himself. You could tell from the way he was on edge the whole way back to the base when you were bleeding and falling in and out of consciousness. And once you were properly taken care of, he didn't stop fussing over you for the whole week. And even though you were now healed enough to go back into the field, he refused to hear it. Just this morning, before Minho left, you fought over this exact mission.

“You're in no condition to go back out there!” Minho yelled.

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Seungmin cleared me three days ago, Minho! Three! I'm more than capable of being back in the action. And you need me. We're a team for god's sake!” You shot him an angry look. You would have thought he had more faith in you than that. You were partners; you never went on a mission without the other, even long before you got together. You knew you could trust him with everything you had, just as he could trust you. But now he was trying to stop you.

"Well, fuck me for caring about my partner's health,” Minho exclaimed, throwing up his arms. Then he ran his hand through his hair, letting out a frustrated groan. “Look, I just... I can't see you injured again. And I know that if you're there, I won't be able to focus on the mission, not completely,” he admitted.

All of the anger you had evaporated from your body. “Oh.” You thought he didn't trust you, but he was just worried. It was sweet, in a Minho-typical way. He wasn't very fond of expressing his emotions openly, so to hear how much he cares about you warmed your heart. “Okay. Just this once, though,” you agreed reluctantly, but you knew you didn't have an argument that could counter that.

Minho smiled in relief. “You'll be on the next one, I promise.”

“Don't die out there without me, okay?” you joked, but your words were much more serious than you allowed Minho to hear. Just because you were going to be benched for this one to ease his worry didn't mean yours didn't skyrocket.

“It's a simple scout, I'll be in and out before you know it,” Minho promised. He walked closer to you, giving you a quick kiss, before he went to gather his things for the mission.

Except Minho was wrong. What was supposed to be a quick mission was taking two hours more than it should have. The last you knew, Minho was stuck, hiding from the security because he had been discovered. You didn’t even have it in you to comment on how, with you, that would never happen. All that was on your mind right now was whether he was still alive. The tech team lost all communication with him exactly forty-two minutes ago. Yes, you counted. You had been in the monitoring room the whole time, and when they announced the loss of contact, you nearly flipped. Hence, Bang Chan sent Felix to watch you. And thank God for that, because if he hadn't stayed with you to calm and comfort you, you were positive you would rip somebody's head off. Minho was out there, all alone, and you had no way of knowing what was going on.

“Boss, we have a visual!” one of the IT guys suddenly shouted, and Bang Chan was at his side almost immediately. The guy quickly explained how he managed to hack the security cameras and provided everyone with an unsettling scene. Groups of armed guards were running around, clearly searching for someone.

You shot up from your seat so fast that Felix wasn't able to hold you back. In a second, you stood next to Chan, watching the cameras like a hawk. It didn't look good, you had to admit that. But if they were trying to find something, that meant Minho was okay, right?

“He's okay, I know it,” Chan mumbled when he saw you by his side. You smiled at him. He had no way of knowing it, but there was something comforting in hearing the words come from Chan himself. If the boss believed in Minho, then he had to be alright.

As if on cue, the sound of static came through the main radio, followed by a hoarse, unclear voice, but still disquintishable enough. “Stray base, do you copy? This is Lee Know, I'm on my way to you.”

The whole room let out a sigh of relief. You vaguely registered Chan snatching the radio to respond to Minho and Felix coming to hug you from behind. “See, I told you he'd be alright,” Felix hummed, a happy grin stretching across his face. You nodded, feeling yourself smile too. Minho was alive and on his way back to you, and that was all that mattered. You were so going to scold him for worrying you like that when he got back, though.

taglist: @stayconnecteed @saintriots @vivioluh @ivaneedssleep @jazziwritesthings @darkypooo @sleepyleeji

#moony's countdown to christmas #mctc #stray kids x reader #lee minho x reader #lee minho #lee know x reader #lee know #spy au #slight angst #fluff

78 notes · View notes