#emotionally unwell rn

[haunted-xander]

tbh one of, if not my absolute favorite part about ffxiv, is the small little moments/sections where nothing super big or like. Plot Important happens, but that give both the characters and us, the players, some much appreciated down-time to just. Feel things. And to process what's happened and what's going on or to just. Let us exist, in the moment. In a much more grounded and human way than when there's Big And Important Things happening.

The biggest(imo) and earliest example of this is right after the Waking Sands get raided in ARR, and WoL turns to the church for guidance. The entire section of us helping them gather and bury our fallen comrades, and especially bringing Noraxia home to Little Solace so she can be laid to rest in her homeland, by her own people and in their own cultural ways, was so so important to me.

Because it wasn't just replacable allies cast aside for shock value anymore, it was real. These deaths were real and meant something. I got to actually process what just happened, and I got to watch Banana go through it right with me. And not only did it make it feel real, it also gave me a sense of closure. These people, these friends, are dead, but they also got to be treated with the respect they deserve and laid to rest properly.

And that, more than anything else, made me want to save the world. It's grounded and grounding. This world, and these people, meant something to me, the player.

And there's tons of stuff like that throughout the game, especially in shadowbringers and endwalker.

In shb we have, for example, Lyna venting her anger and frustration after the sin eater attack in Lakeland. She's on her knees yelling on the verge of tears while punching the ground, so furious at her helplessness and powerlessness, at everyone having come so far yet set back because some megalomaniacal tyrant deemed it so.

In ew we have Urianger being approached by Moenbryda's parents, who confront him about not confiding in them about his grief. When Bloewyda starts to scold him, he of course reacts guiltily, believing they blame him, only for him to be completely caught off guard when she instead goes in to hug him, telling him he should have let them grieve with him. And he just. Breaks down. He's been holding these feelings, this grief inside him all this time, and now that he is not only told it's okay to let it out, but by her very own parents at that, he just can't keep it in anymore. He cries for Moenbryda, right then and there, being held lovingly by her family.

And the thing is, these scenes aren't necessary, strictly speaking. The plot at large could go on without them, the events that happen around them are not changed by these moments in any way.

But still, they are so so important, to the world, to the characters, to the players. Everything feels real and impactful now, every death means something, every tragedy, every person, feels real.

And that, to me, is what makes this story so special.

#and this isnt even mentioning my absolute favorote of this kind of moments #which is the twins' conversation while held hostage in tertium #its not as emotionally intense as the ones i listed- its not even really about their emotions much at all #but its just. such a good scene that demonstrates just who they are and what their dynamic is and just. them. #im not going into that scene rn bc if i did id end up using all the tags to rant but like. its So Important to me okay #i think about it constantly #this game is just. so good at making the characters feel like real people with real feelings who reacts to everything that happens around #them #oooouuugh i am unwell. i will never be normal about this game. ever. #warrior of light #wol #banana pepper #lyna #urianger augurelt #moenbryda wilfsunnwyn #< in spirit #final fantasy #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #ff14 #ffxiv #xander rambles

[reiinraus]

this bear ass looking mf opens his arms in front of u what do u do

#feeling things you guys #emotionally unwell even #jumping straight into him rn #till lindemann

[clowningaroundmars]

my absolute fave thing to read in punkflower fics is lovesick puppy hobie brown

cool-as-a-cucumber hobie overthinking miles' every move, leaving lingering touches on him, longing glances thrown his way

certified BAMF hobie hanging by a doorway or window just a second too long before leaving miles

"skinny-hot" hobie refusing to believe someone as ✨️cool✨️ as miles would be into someone like him

badass punk hobie just yearning and pining and practically draping himself all over miles in desperate attempts but then pulling back all scared when anyone even hints that they should get together

god, i need pining lovesick loser hobie like AIR rn 😭

#mine #punkflower #spiderverse #can yall tell i am Not Normal rn #COOL HOT BADASS FUNNY HOBIE JUST!! *clenches fist* JUST!!! just fuckin swooning #like a victorian lady whenever miles does Anything #i mean do yall SEE the way he pays attention to and looks at miles in the movie? #i am unwell. i will never be able to emotionally recover from this #just... god. i love it #hobie brown spider punk just trailing after miles #joking with him and wrapping him up in all of the clothes he can manage to bring #practically screaming silently for miles' attention at every moment #showing off a lil bit when theyre swinging #dont get me wrong hobie is a very very cool guy. when miles isnt there #miles: shows up #hobie: immediately turns into the worlds biggest clumsiest clown to ever exist #miles: smiles #hobie: crashes into 2 walls a telephone pole and falls over a fence #bonus points if miles literally has zero clue the entire time #bc like obviously miles KNOWS hobie is ridiculously hot. this is canon #but SURELY someone like hobie has nooooo interest in him whatsoEVER right guys? …right? ahaha #IDIOTS the both of them #idiots in love #this is a trope i will never tire of ever #also the skinny-hot comment is a reference to the official atsv script #LOOK IT UP IF YOU HAVENT ALREADY #it is filled to brim with homosexuality and plenty of funny ass lines of miles being jealous #but miles my boy. my baby boy #look at me #you need not be jealous of hobie. YOURE the one in the middle of the love triangle NOT GWEN

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

im going 2 for 2 in terms of days tearing up in public thinking about percy jackson episode 5 how about yall

#its a problem #im literally so unwell about this show #i started listening to the new seaweed brain podcast episode about ep 5 and 15 minutes in i started SOBBING IN MY CAR ABOUT PERCABETH #I HAD TO STOP DRIVING BECAUSE I WAS CRYING SO HARD #WHAT IS IT ABOUT THEM THAT GETS ME SO #WHAT IS IT #meanwhile i know exactly what it is im just too emotionally fragile rn to type out the analysis #percy jackson #pjo <3 #percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackon and the olympians #percy series

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

Reread Dark Era expecting to be hit with feels over Odasaku and instead being hit in the chest with parallels between him and akutagawa

#A MAFIA MEMBER WHO DOESNT KILL #there’s more but emotionally I can’t think abt it rn #thinking abt him too hard makes me unwell #akutagawa my beloved #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd manga #bsd akutagawa #bsd dark era #bsd odasaku #ryuunosuke akutagawa

[beesgnise]

just finished ragnarök, feeling severely emotionally damaged given that brok and sindri were my favorite characters and i feel a little betrayed too at the fact týr was not really týr but i give this game an overall 10/10, one point taken off for emotional damage, but one point added back because of how good angrboda’s writing was and how they carried kratos’ development even further

also: i thought thor’s final boss fight was cool as hell but god damn odin’s was even more boss fighty and probably one of the first on my (personal) list of best boss fights

#god of war #gow ragnarok #ragnarok spoilers #sindri #tyr gow #i am unwell #went to broks funeral and am emotionally damaged and unstable. please send sindri to therapy i’ll pay for it #i may start a new save to explore but rn i need a break #angrboða #angrboda #gow spoilers #gow

[numbr8]

gonna go to the doctor then come back to work and try and finish season 3 between customers...

#i'm emotionally unwell after the unexpected ***** of **** i watched last night so i'm not SUPER JAZZED RN.... #but i gotta push through I GUESS #tbd

[vvanessaives]

the rational side of me: it's carmen. the italian side of me (the devil): anyways, carmine

#rena.txt #it's carmy when i'm emotionally at my lowest point #sorry for still talking about him this show makes me so unwell i'm eating glass rn

[kairakeiji]

head empty just akaashi laughing at me for crying over my hyperfixations before holding and comforting me because he knows they mean a lot to me🥹🥹

#i am…unwell #he cares #he cares so much #and he wouldn’t think it’s weird #or make fun of me for how emotionally attached i am to these things #he’s so sweet and understands and cares enough to learn abt said fixations #i am so sad rn i want keiji #calista.exe

[cloudboba]

alexa how do i cope w crushing feelings of guilt / shame / worthlessness / self limitation thx

#my eyes have finally stopped tearing up every 2 mins and the crushing weight on my chest is not there if i ignore it hard enough #i dissociated on the bathroom floor for 30 mins. i’m so physically emotionally mentally unwell i need my therapist ASAP except idk if i have #enough insurance to pay for another session this month bc it’ll mean sacrificing a session later on in the yr :’) #idk my friend called asking if we were still studying and i got my other friend to answer the phone i usually don’t avoid him but the #thought of hearing his voice / talking to him rn makes me wanna tear my throat out yk #reminding myself that therapy won’t fix me only i can fix me only healthy communication & friendship & forgiveness will heal me wtvr etc etc #personal

[eulbydoom]

thinking abt lunchable chicken nuggets. eating those cold lil bastards with that “ketchup” that doesn’t taste very much like ketchup while sipping a caprisun … delectable. nothing like it. i need it

#i’m 23 years old #but i will never outgrow lunchables #the nugs are so bad they’re good #i’m emotionally unwell rn #online journal slay #haven’t made one of these in a while heyyy #slay

[strawberry-pretzels]

still feel horrible but at least i went outside

#berry rants #i need my bwst friend 😔 #i am unwell rn (emotionally)

[motheyes]

hi

#i did some stuff my brother helped me #i’m like soooooooooooooo unwell emotionally it ducks so bad #SUCKS #i’ve been so emotionally god it sucks #i almost cried again and i’m so fucking tired #i gotta nap like rn #i wanted to do more stuff before work but #idk if it’ll happen #whatever 🤪 #wait i gotta put the clothes in the dryer uuuggghh #then i’ll nap

[forkdrawer]

ace x deuce ramblings bc they relationship is so fucked and no one else talkes about it but also i’m crazy so i might be looking too into it

p.s. spoilers for the obvious ace spoiler

you guys just don’t get it deuce is attached to ace even after all the self destructive things he does because he wants to prove to ace he doesn’t have to do them but to ace it just means he has someone to fall back on. deuce is here as a support system exclusively he is being used but if he doesn’t let himself be then ace will just be proven right. and this all gets fucking crazy when ace almost kills himself fighting jinbei and whitebeard and deuce just has to watch this person he’s obsessed with destroy themself and then he just gets obducted into someone else’s crew and barely sees ace until ace leaves and gets killed ?!?!?!?! deuce goes through all of this dependent relationship shit and then gets thrown to the side the second ace has more powerful people to support him deuce is just left to be a doctor on some pirate ship the exact thing he left his home to avoid being!!!! then ace without a care in the world leaves his whole crew to go do some revenge no one wants him to act out. ace doesn’t even ask or say bye to deuce just leaves then next time deuce sees ace is as a grave stone omg ?!?! and deuce doesn’t hold and anger towards ace through out all of this bc he understands why he does it and that he can’t help it he’s too broken to be fixed in the situation he is in rn so deuce just has to watch his lover destroy himself over and over again and come running back to deuce to be patched up before hurting himself again and again and again— forcing deuce to be the doctor care giver he was trying so hard not to be ?!?!?!?!

after a year of traveling on the sea together and deuce picking up after ace every time he goes to far, ace goes the farthest he could go, and gets their whole crew recruited, and deuce gets designated to be a doctor, so the only time deuce gets to see ace now is every time he’s hurt and the second he’s better he goes back to everyone else. and he can do nothing but watch as all of this happens. then he stops seeing him completely, finds out ace had gone out on a suicide mission, and the next time he sees him he’s a grave stone, and he will never be able to care for him again. omg AAAAAAAAA i am so emotionally unwell about these two

#portgas d ace #masked deuce #one peice #whitebeard pirates #fork just chatting

[thee-morrigan]

now that I've had a couple of days to go through SEVERAL stages of mental illness about book 3, I have…Some Thoughts. about the book in general and specifically about N's route, as so far that's the only one in which I've gone through most (if not all) of the interaction variations (yes, I have approximately 83253 tabs open rn. I told y'all I'm being very unwell about this). I've played through M's route several times so far too, but there were fewer standout "wait, what?" moments for me in that route tbh 🥴

below the cut: the peer review nobody asked for! (and my sincerest apologies lmao)

I really need Mishka to hire professional copy editors for these books, y'all. There are grammar/syntax errors that just. shouldn't be there. (and I don't even mean the nitpicky ones that I'm super anal about! I mean ones like using 'stationary' when you mean 'stationery'.)

somewhat related to the above bullet, I hope the testing period for book 4 is a lot longer than it was for book 3. there are some inconsistencies in the narrative that I suspect would have been caught if there'd been more time between the beta testing and the book being sent to HG.

for example, if you trigger the sex scene options in N's combat route, there is at least one errant reference to the feel of denim when like. you're both in workout clothes (and there is significant time spent describing both N's and the MC's outfits!). ALSO, when you go back inside for the debriefing with UB, F & M tease N about their jeans being unzipped when, again: there were no jeans or zippers involved. It's a funny scene after the equivalent research options, but it makes no sense post-combat ones without editing for attire differences.

while I'm thinking about the research scene on N's route, the fact that the MC can confess their love and N flat out says NOTHING in response??? just immediately jumps to gettin' busy despite the MC explicitly asking them to say something in response??? what will probably be Holland's canon route is fine, because the combat path has a "scared by own feelings" choice and you know homegirl immediately tried to yeet herself out of that potential conversation bc they've been dating for all of 30 seconds at this point. BUT knowing that that path was fine bc it happened to fit my OC honestly just made me more annoyed for anyone playing with a different/more emotionally mature/open detective. because going through the "i love you" options in the research scene especially were disappointing.

again, related to the above, the narrative inconsistencies (and the bulky plot) made the pacing often feel inconsistent. there were so many moving pieces and story beats that a lot of scenes felt either rushed (without seeming like that pace was tonally/narratively appropriate) or unnecessarily truncated. I also felt like there were a lot of points of abrupt info-dumping that was clearly meant to give background info on UB/other characters/plotpoints but ended up feeling inorganic/unnatural in terms of actual relationship-building. or, alternatively, like it was meant to build to a resolution point later in the book that just never happened.

for example: the whole post-Unit Victor scene where your LI shares some of their past with you. It didn't feel quite as abrupt/odd in my M route playthroughs, but the flow was JARRING for me in N's. And the abrupt end to that scene is never revisited. like, I understand the conversation maybe not coming up again, but for neither of them to even linger on what were presumably heavy emotional topics or think about it again at what could have been relevant points throughout the book seemed to dilute what I assume was meant to be an important scene.

speaking of things that are basically not revisited when they really should be, if N's overprotectiveness is going to continue to be a defining trait and the MC can continue to be explicitly bothered by it, I am begging for book 4 to let them have an uninterrupted, private conversation about it - particularly after the whole "I don't know how this is going to work" scene after the auction. because if this is how it already is and there are 4 more books, their relationship is going to be so (much more) unhealthy.

a more positive note! I did think it was ~interesting to see the juxtaposition of N's constant over-the-top "romantic gestures/sentiments" schtick against the responses you can get when you invite them to dinner but choose either the "you don't have to go if you would be uncomfortable" or "I'll call it off if you're not feeling it" option. with the former, N's response is that relationships are doing things for the other person/doing things they want to do, and they seem genuinely baffled when the detective immediately disagrees. with the latter, they seem equally surprised at the detective's willingness to ditch dinner for them. it's a brief thing, but both of their potential responses give the impression that N's perception of those statements is disproportionate to their actual significance. I mean. it's a dinner party that the detective almost forgot about entirely. clearly they don't give a shit about rescheduling/going alone. moreover, towards the end of the book, N explicitly worries about not "being enough" for the MC. for whatever reason, N clearly seems to think they're like, constantly on the verge of losing the detective in a different way than they worry about losing them to the neverending string of external threats, and I do hope it's meant to be the foreshadowing I think it is.

#despite its flaws i am enjoying it overall! #but especially after having speedrun books 1 and 2 for updated saves on other routes the difference in book quality is noticeable #there's just so much potential and i worry about the future character development if adequate space isn't given for some of these things #anyway tl;dr i'm probs just gonna write nate/holland some fix-it fics and call it a day lmao #katie plays twc #twc book 3 #twc book 3 spoilers

[onlyjaeyun]

https://www.tiktok.com/@enhypenxo/video/7331440943108721925

ZADIEEEEEEE HIS GLASSES?! THE LIP BITES?! THE SMIRKS?! BRB NOW I CAN'T GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD FOR THE NEXT HOUR 😭

STOP i watched this four times at like 6am and i have yet to rcover im so emotionally unwell rn..

#; mailbox 📬