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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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La vie en rose - Andy Barber smut

The one where you and Andy were childhood friends, reunited when he needed the most

Warnings: smut, references to cheating (Jacob isn’t Andy’s son in this story), Laurie is awful, small age gap, breeding kink, maybe cheating if you consider andy and Laurie were still formally married but they very clearly separate in the course of the fic.

Word count: 6.6k

A/N: this was written for #emmaandmiriscrackfics! My prompts were mutual pining and childhood friends! And so your birthday celebrations start, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog! I hope you're ready!

Andy’s P.O.V.

I noticed the truck parked next door to my house the second I turned into the street. It would be hard to miss, even with how tired I was feeling. The thing took up most of the driveway and I felt lucky that there was still just enough space to be able to park my car without needing to call someone to allow me to go through.

“New neighbor, huh?” I asked when I walked through the door, dropping my keys and hanging my coat as I took notice of what Laurie had fixed for dinner. Chicken again. I really couldn’t complain, she was the one cooking every day while I slaved away at the office.

Perhaps it was time to suggest having a pizza, although I knew my idea would be instantly shot down by my very defensive wife, who would see it as an attack against her cooking skills. But maybe if I took her and Jacob out… maybe then, she wouldn’t see it as anything other than an effort to change things up a little.

Then again, I knew how much she hated any diversion from our usual routine.

“Yes,” she nodded, not even raising her eyes to meet mine. “I’m baking them some cookies, I figured it’d be nice to start a good relationship with the new neighbors as soon as possible.”

I didn’t disagree with that, surprisingly. But I found myself wondering about the kind of people who were moving in. Was it a family, like ours? Two parents, one kid around Jacob’s age, someone he could hang out with?

My feet took me towards the window that stared out into the house I was wondering about, taking notice of the type of furniture the movers were carrying. They were mostly boxes, all labeled “books”, I could see it even from a distance, and I figured the heavier pieces had most likely been placed hours ago, while I was still deep in work.

Suddenly, a figure opened the front door and moved towards the truck with determined steps, hands reaching the pocket of her shorts to find a couple of loose bills with which she gifted the men carrying her stuff. They were probably done by now.

I found myself admiring her long legs, the fullness of her thighs. I knew I was a deprived man - I’d dealt with the weight of my reality for a while now. But I never felt this attracted to a perfect stranger before, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was about my new neighbor that called out to me.

Was it her ass? Her hair? The way she waved her hands around while she spoke? Perhaps I was just going crazy with the sexual frustration I was living in, that was more likely. But then she turned around to return to her house, stopping for a second to glance at our place, probably wondering about us too, and my entire body froze.

Because I knew that face. I knew that face pretty well, and I’d been thinking about it for what felt like the last twenty years.

“Y/N?” I whispered in shock, but unfortunately, in the silence of the room, Laurie heard it.

“Y/N?” She repeated, and when I looked over my shoulder, she was frozen too. I could only nod, uncertain of how my wife was going to react now that she knew my childhood best friend, the girl I’d loved my entire life - until I met Laurie - had just moved next door.

“Well… I guess God really has a strange sense of humor, huh?” She chuckled, but it sounded bitter and dry. If there was one thing I knew about my wife was that although God could very well have a strange sense of humor, she did not have any.

I didn’t expect her to suddenly develop one that would allow her to embrace the woman who had made her way back into my life. Not when it could very well destroy the entire facade of a happy family she struggled so hard to maintain.

“I guess,” was all I had to say.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The sound of knocking broke me out of my concentration. I’d been struggling to hang up a bookshelf for the last thirty minutes, without any success. Might as well call this a sign to give up for the day.

Abandoning the room I’d assigned as my office, I made my way into the main hall with curiosity to find out who was on the other side of the door at 7PM, after I just moved in. I had no doubt it would be some sort of overeager neighbor, either excited to know the gossip about the newcomer or determined to set themselves as the one who controlled the cul-de-sac.

I imagined they’d have very little appreciation for the tank top and short shorts that I was wearing and the fact that it was glued to my body after having spent the better part of the day moving furniture around. Alas, there was nothing I could do about it now.

“Hello?” I asked as I opened the door to welcome them into my house, unprepared to who I would find waiting on the other side. It was a family, a pretty standard one at that. There was a mom, holding a tray of cookies, a son who seemed to be old enough to be in High School and then the dad.

I thought the mother’s expression was weird, considering she was holding what was the universal sign of a welcoming gesture, but her eyes were cold and she was clearly trying to hold back a scowl. It was only when I set my eyes on the guy behind her that I understood why.

“Andy.” The name escaped before I could reel it in, both of us flinching and I didn’t need to look at his wife to know the scowl she was trying to hold back had now broken free.

I had to fix this.

“The Barber family!” I corrected, making sure my voice was as cheerful as possible. After all, I was excited to see him. I truly was. I just didn’t expect to finally meet his wife and son after all these years of him ignoring my existence. “Who would ever imagine we’d become neighbors again, huh? Come on in!”

I watched the woman blink a few times, clearly shocked by my behavior. I think she expected some kind of kitten fight, but what would I fight for? She had the ring, the house, the child - the man.

This was a battle I had lost long ago.

“It’s nice to see you again, Andy.” I patted his arm in the most respectful way I could muster some sort of physical touch that wouldn’t piss off his wife. “And it’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Barber.”

The mention of her title seemed to ease her some. “Yes, it’s nice to get to know Andy’s childhood best friend.” I nodded, understanding the way she was making sure to relegate my role in her husband’s life as a thing from the past. Even if the fact that she knew me already indicated there was no way he had left me there.

“Come, sit,” I waved them in, smiling at the kid I assumed to be theirs. “Is this your son?” I asked Andy, the first actual sentence I’d addressed him directly, my eyes darting from one Barber to the other.

“Of course he is, who else would he be?” It was his wife that answered and all I got from Andy was a guilty smile. It made me laugh that she felt so threatened she would see some sort of accusation into such a simple question.

“You’re absolutely right. I can see the resemblance.” I winked at the boy, who blushed from head to toe, eyes averting to the side in order not to meet mine. But I was lying. The boy had a lot of her, but nothing of Andy - and I knew Andy. I knew him from even before he had reached the boy’s age and they didn’t look like father and son at all.

“Are those for me?” I asked, reaching out to accept the tray that Mrs. Barber seemed to have forgotten she was holding. A curt nod was all the response I got, and I tried not to sigh at the lack of effort she was putting into this conversation. Why come to my house if you are not even going to play the part of a welcoming neighbor?

It hit me when I was putting away the cookies so I could return the tray to her. This wasn’t a courtesy visit - this was a show of power. She was here to scour what she saw as competition, make sure I didn’t pose any threat to her marriage with Andy.

Poor thing.

“Here ya go.” I gave her back the tray, startling her from her observations of my place. “It’s still pretty empty,” I recognized, taking my own look around. “But I’ll have you all over for dinner once I get things into place.”

She nodded, clearing her throat as she ran her hands over her skirt. “That would be… lovely. Thank you.” I just nodded, watching the room fall into an uncomfortable silence once again before she got up and beckoned her men home.

I was frustrated with Andy. He hadn’t tried to say or do anything to ease the situation - hell, he hadn’t even introduced me to his wife. He could barely look me in the eye as it was and the thought that he might not be the man I knew, the man I loved as a child, hurt me deeper than I thought it would.

“Well… Thanks for the visit.” I forced myself to smile, patting Jacob in the head gently when I realized his eyes were lingering on me more than they should.

Teenage hormones. Boy, did I know how they could get…

“Guess I’ll see you around.” I waved to the family as they looked back at me by my front door, trying not to frown at the man who used to mean so much to me.

All I got was a nod from the woman he married. “… Certainly.”

She didn’t seem happy about that.

Andy’s P.O.V.

I couldn’t sleep. Was that even that surprising? I twisted and turned in bed, trying my best not to let Laurie realize it - not only because she would use this as an excuse to start a fight but also because I wanted her to fall asleep.

As quickly as possible. So I could get out of here.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait much longer. When her breathing became slower and deeper, I took that as my cue to slip out of bed and find some shoes I could use to go to my own backyard, silently congratulating myself for being too lazy to fix the gate that separated my house from hers.

Once I was on her ungated patio area (I had to advise her to put up some protections as soon as possible), I circled the house slowly, trying to guess which bedroom would be the master while I picked a stone that was big enough to make a noise, but not heavy enough to break her window.

She answered after the first hit, almost like she was waiting for the small sound to signify my arrival.

“What are you doing here?” She asked after she opened the window to allow herself to sit by it, staring down at me. Her voice was only loud enough for me to hear it - no doubt she had as little interest in waking up my wife as I had.

“Sh…” I found myself saying either way, nervously glancing at the sleeping house I’d abandoned. “Could you come down here for a minute, please?”

The seconds it took for her to answer, analyzing my features from her position on the second floor of the house, I felt my entire body burning - not only with desire, but also with fear.

I didn’t know what to do with myself if she told me no.

“Give me a minute.”

When she opened her back door to meet me, I was stunned to find her wrapped up in a beige sweater that seemed too familiar not to strike a chord in me. I knew that sweater - it was mine.

Memories of the last time we saw each other swirled in my head, taking my breath away. I could still remember the way she tasted and my fingers trembled with the effort to restrain myself when she crossed her arms in front of her body and repeated, “What are you doing here?”

I had to snap myself out of it.

“Oh, I… I didn’t like the idea of you sleeping by yourself in this big house…” I cringed internally at the lame excuse, but outwardly smiled, albeit a little sheepishly. She could read right through me, I knew what, and even if she didn’t, the way I scratched the back of my neck seemed to speak for itself. I was uncomfortable.

“And what was your big plan? To come stay with me?” She didn’t seem spiteful, just genuinely confused and a bit irritated. I traced my teeth with my tongue, trying to buy myself some time to answer.

“C’mon,” I nearly whined, giving up on the possibility of ever applying my usually sharp reasoning skills with her. “Don’t be like that.”

“Don’t be like what?” She barked back, stunning me into silence. I knew she had every right to be mad at me. That night before I left for college and took her heart with me was the single memory that kept me up at night, as was the memory of what we did right before that.

I knew she saw me as the boy who took her virginity and didn’t think twice before leaving, but I saw her as the first girl I loved. And now that I was in front of her again, believing I’d gotten over her when I met the woman I married, I could see that hadn’t been the case at all.

Whatever it was that I had felt for Laurie paled in comparison for my feelings for Y/N. It had been easy to ignore that when I had spent two years without seeing the girl who lived next-door to me, the one who had been by my side since I could remember, but not anymore. Not when she was right here, reminding me of everything we went through and everything she made me feel.

“I’m sorry,” I breathed out, accepting that this should have been the first thing out of my mouth, if not when I came over with Laurie, at least when she came downstairs to see me. “I screwed up. I know that now.”

She let my words disappear into the night before she slowly nodded, sighing and at last letting her arms fall to the sides. “I told you so.” It was so her, particularly the little knowing smile she sent me as she rubbed her arms to keep warm, that it made my heart skip a beat.

“Yeah, you did.” But I was young and stupid. I thought the two years between us made a whole of a lot of difference, and that there was still so much I had to live - we both had to live - before we could think about settling down.

Two years into law school and I did exactly what I had run away from, only with another woman. The wrong woman, I could see that now.

“But hey, it all worked out, right?” She asked, unaware of my thoughts and regrets. “You got married, had a son. The big house and the important job. Everything you’ve always wanted.”

I showed her my teeth in something that couldn’t really be considered a smile, eyebrows furrowed. She wasn’t wrong, but it all felt wrong.

I had the job but I could only see the stress it brought me. I had the house but it felt empty and cold. I had the wedding ring but it attached me to someone I didn’t really love. I had the son but he didn’t quite look like me.

“Can we sit?” I gestured to the pool since she still hadn’t gotten around to place some furniture here. I was hoping we’d get to have one of our heart-to-hearts like we did when we were little. But her frown had my hope disappearing quickly, leaving me feeling sad and empty.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I knew I had visibly deflated, so maybe that’s why her hand grazed mine, prompting me to look up at her again and see her soft smile. “Not tonight.”

Those two simple words had me rejoicing again, grinning from ear to ear. “Another time?” I had to confirm, and although not enthusiastically, she nodded.

“Some day I don’t have to wake up in the early hours of the morning to go to work, okay?” The realization that she was telling me no because of the context had me freezing, before breaking down into laughter - as quietly as I could.

“Okay,” I agreed, nodding slightly. “Fair enough.” There was a moment of silence then. A quiet contemplation of some sorts, where we both took in the situation and where we were, apart but together in a way or another.

“I have to go to bed,” she whispered, breaking the moment. I nodded.

“I’ll be right there.” She smiled softly because, of course, she knew. So I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and then I had to watch her leave, getting a little bit of comfort when she stopped by the door to look over her shoulder, but not nearly enough.

Is this what heartbreak felt like? Is this what she felt like, having to watch me leave only to never return? I thought this bitter feeling on the depths of my heart was just part of life, but for the few minutes I was with her, it had disappeared entirely.

Either way, all I knew was that I was grateful that she had moved into the house next door, because from now on, I’d never be able to leave her alone.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

The first month in the city was weird. I cherished every single moment I got to spend with Andy, learn a bit more about the person he was now and what he had been through since the last time we saw each other.

There was always some underlying tension, of course, but we had managed to avoid speaking about our shared past - the romantic side of it - until now and I was taking advantage of what felt like the calm before the storm.

Lord knows that I could feel a tempest forming soon, in the form of his wife.

Every since that first visit, Laurie had done her very best to make it clear that I wasn’t welcome in her inner circle - which included more or less all of the housewives in the neighborhood.

She had yet to realize that I had no interest whatsoever in being friends with her or any person who behaved the way that she did, so while I remained unaffected, the fact that she went out of her way to try to make me feel unwanted was bizarre, to say the least.

I knew things were beginning to change when the door bell rang at 7 PM on a Wednesday night - the Wednesday night Andy had told me would mark the anniversary of their marriage. I was surprised to learn that Laurie’s plans for the date included inviting all of their friends to dine at their place, instead of celebrating it between the two of them.

Andy didn’t seem bothered when he explained why he wouldn’t be around that evening. He almost looked relieved, in fact - like the presence of other people took a weight from his shoulders that he had no intention to carry.

“Are you making dinner?” He questioned and although I frowned, I opened up a smile as I nodded, wiping my dirty hands on the rag I had thrown over my shoulder.

“I sure am,” I winked. “A girl’s gotta eat.” That had him opening up a smile of his own, a chuckle quickly following.

“Well then,” he licked his lips. “Can I help? Guy’s gotta eat as well.” I hesitated for a second, too curious to let this go.

“Didn’t you have something planned with Laurie?” I expected his smile to fall, but not for his eyes to assume a softness I couldn’t quite figure out as they stared into mine.

“I want to be with you.” I noticed how open-ended the explanation was. He didn’t say he wanted to be with me tonight. But I didn’t comment on it. It didn’t feel like it was my place to do so.

All I knew was that Andy needed a friend. And I had no doubt that I was the best person to fill in that role for him.

We worked in relative silence - him cutting the vegetables as I stirred the sauce. We could hear people arriving, the chatter from his house reaching the open windows of mine, but we didn’t speak of it.

Instead, we got dinner ready and went to sit at the other side of the house. Conversation flowed between bites, nothing too deep or personal. All we needed was some distraction of what was going on outside of this house - what Andy was trying to avoid.

Finally, once our plates were empty and we were relaxed against the sofa, one of his arms around the back of it where I sat, he looked at me and admitted, “It’s been a long day.”

I readjusted myself to pull my legs up and turn to give him my attention. “Wanna talk about it?” He thought for a while, although he didn’t seem against the idea. It was more like he was weighing if it was worth the bother.

Andy’s P.O.V.

“Jacob’s father came to my firm today,” I ended up admitting in a single breath. I didn’t have to look at her to know that her eyes were wide, and she was probably confused as hell about what I meant. “Apparently, Laurie cheated on me right at the beginning of our marriage and this guy always knew he was his real father, but didn’t want anything to do with Jacob up until now.”

I heard her sharp inhale of breath and felt bad about unloading all of this on her because what the hell could she say to make me feel better? I just opened up my greatest shame to the person I was most desperate to impress, and I was sure it was all for nothing.

But then her hand covered mine and I lifted my gaze to connect our eyes. “Andy, regardless of blood, you were Jacob’s father. You know that, right?”

And just like that, I felt comforted. I believed being in her presence was enough to make me feel better - it was why I skipped the celebration of a marriage destined to fail to spend the evening with her, but I didn’t know this is what was hurting me until I heard her say it.

It wasn’t that Laurie cheated, of course not. I didn’t care about her anymore, and I’d known that for a while now. It was the fact that this discovery seemed to invalidate my bond with Jacob, as if I’d spent the last seventeen years trying to be the best possible parent only to learn it had all been in vain.

But here she was, reminding me that it wasn’t the case at all. Smiling, I pulled her closer to me so her head would rest against my chest, her legs thrown over mine. And we relished in the silence and in each other’s companies for a little bit.

I was caressing her back when she broke off the silence with what sounded like an impromptu confession. “I’ve always wanted to be a mother,” she said, and my heartbeat sped up at her words, although I couldn’t figure out why.

I pulled away from her to take in her body with more hunger than I could be bothered to hide, but when our eyes connected once more, I had to ask, “What happened?” I knew she had to have had serious relationships, and even if that hadn’t been the case, she could have adopted by now.

But she just shrugged, as if to say it wasn’t a big deal. Truth be told, she was still young enough to have one, anyway. “Life, I guess,” was her answer, and then we were quiet again until I had to interrupt the silence with something that had been bothering me ever since she walked into my life again.

“Do you believe… in another universe… there was an us?” She was the one to push herself away from me this time and when her gaze met mine, I could see how serious she was about what she had to say.

“Andy… I believe there was an us, in this universe, until you decided you didn’t want me anymore.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

My blood was pumping, heartbeat ringing in my ears as I slammed the door of my car and marched to the house next door, not even bothering to knock.

No one ever locked anything in this fucking town. Why would they? Nothing ever happened.

“Laurie!” I yelled, rounding the corner of the entrance hall to burst into the living room, where I found her surrounded by her housewife friends. It was book club day, I realized, taking notice of the glasses of wine scattered around the living room as well as the brochures in each of their laps, but I was too out of it to even care for the audience I hadn’t anticipated witnessing what was about to happen.

“Y/N.” She pronounced my name with distaste, eyebrows raised and lips pursed, but still tried to cling to the appearance the women around her no doubt admired. “I wasn’t expecting a visit from you today.”

I could read between the lines. I knew she wanted me out of there, if not because she knew of the scandal that was about to happen, at the very least because she understood that when Andy didn’t get home the night before, it was because he stayed at my place.

Did it matter that nothing happen? No, of course not. So that’s why she felt like it would be acceptable to go around town spreading rumors about me and my apparently quite concerning drug usage, rumors that ended up reaching my boss’s ears and earned me quite the conversation I didn’t even deserve to have it.

“Don’t worry, I won’t take much of your precious time since you are such a busy woman, after all,” I huffed, crossing my arms in front of my body. “I just have one question. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

The second she realized I wasn’t leaving that house without throwing all caution to the wind and ruining her perfectly constructed reputation, the mask of indifference fell from her face, and I was surprised that she didn’t just lounge at me and pulled on my hair like a little girl would do in a playground.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She had the nerve to shrug. “I do know that you’re the one who’s walking around screwing other women’s husbands, opening your legs to whomever will want you. You’re disgusting. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

I almost laughed at her words, not at all surprised by her being the one to reveal what was her biggest shame to all of her friends, who between shocked gasps immediately started to whisper between each other.

“I’m not ashamed of myself because my conscience is clean. I don’t use drugs and I haven’t screwed anyone’s husband, or at least, not yet.” The way her face hardened made it clear the hit had been received.

“It might surprise you, Laurie, but I actually don’t care what you think of me. Ruin my reputation with the entire city, for all I care. I have no interest in being connected with the likes of you. Just leave my job out of it, got it?”

I was met with silence, and I was almost prepared to leave when she asked, “Haven’t you done enough damage already? Give up, he’ll never want to be with you. He didn’t back then, what makes you think he’ll go for you now?”

Smirking, I knew she was aware of the answer to her own question when our gazes met again. She voiced it because she was scared. A small part of her hoped, feebly, that she would be wrong.

But we both knew better.

I knew what was different now, and so did she. He had learned what it was like to live without me, and he couldn’t take it anymore.

“The only thing that’s stopping me from fucking your husband right now is my own damn control, so if I were you, I really wouldn’t piss me off,” I growled, seeing her press her lips together in distaste, but she didn’t doubt me.

“As for the so-called ‘damage’ I made, you know this was all your doing, as hard as it might be for you to accept it. Tell me, when was the last time you dropped to your knees and sucked him off?” Outraged gasps were heard all around the living room as Laurie avoided my eyes and I smirked.

“Thought so. Don’t put this on me.” I shook my head, turning around to leave when I bumped into quite literally the topic of discussion.

“What’s going on here?” There was fire in his tone, but it was directed at the woman he was staring at, protective stance over me clear for everyone to see.

“Absolutely nothing.” I grinned up at him. “Guess I’ll be seeing you later.” And with a wink over my shoulder, I was gone from that sad, empty house.

Andy’s P.O.V.

“Want to tell me what that was about?” I threw my briefcase in the direction of the side table, not bothering to actually check if it hit the spot. I was much too occupied with the woman before me, the woman who avoided my eyes only to glance up at me with fire in hers.

“Why don’t you ask your mistress?” She accused me, and I was so taken by surprise by her furor that I blinked like I’d been slapped in the face, shaking my head to try to make sense of what she was saying.

“Excuse me, honey, but I think we both know I’m not the cheater in this relationship.” There was venom in the pet name I’d used for years, and everyone in the room could hear it.

Her friends from the book club were eating this shit up, while she turned away from the conversation, but I wasn’t about to let her get away from it.

This ended tonight.

“I’m not talking to you while you’re like this,” was all she said when I held her by the wrist, stopped her from leaving the room.

“Then don’t talk. Listen.” My tone didn’t leave much room for discussion, so she just stood there as I unleashed all I’d been keeping in for years now.

“You know what you did and I know my conscience is clear.” She grimaced, the only microscopic show of her guilty conscience. “But what you don’t know is that I’m done. I’m through with this, I’m through with you. I can’t do this anymore, can’t keep faking it like I’ve done for so many years.”

But she wasn’t stupid. She knew what I wasn’t saying, she could read between the lines.

“So she wasn’t just a friend, after all.” Chuckling, I let her believe she had the last word.

“I told you not to ask something that would only hurt you.”

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I barely did anything once I got back into my house. I was pacing, I was frenetic. There was just something in the air that evening, I hadn’t lied when I told Andy I was expecting him.

I knew everything was about to change tonight.

When the knocks resonated through the almost empty house, I knew who it was and I knew what this meant.

“God, come here.” It was all he said as he reached out to grab me by my nape and connect our lips, and I used all of my strength to pull him into the house, slamming the door behind him and hoping Laurie heard it all the way from her house.

This was my man now. She’d never get him back.

“Fuck, Andy…” I gasped when he hoisted me up against the wall right next to the door, seemingly incapable of separating himself from my lips for long enough to get us to the bedroom - or even the couch.

“Yeah, baby?” He panted, hard cock throbbing against me as he grinded our lower halves together. “You want me?” Just hearing him ask that, with his fingers pressing bruises against my hips, was enough to have me moaning.

“No, fuck…” I whimpered, letting my head fall back against the wall. “I need you,” I clarified, desperate for him to see it, desperate for him to understand.

We’d been keeping ourselves away from each other for too long. No more. We couldn’t take it anymore.

He brushed the hair away from my face, panting against my lips as he begged, “Say that again.” I was more than willing to give it to him. I’d give everything to him.

“I need you, Andy,” I repeated, cradling his cheek to get him to see it in my eyes how truthful I was being. “Please, Andy. Please, fuck me.”

I watched as a shiver ran down his spine, his eyes closing for just a second. When they reopened, they were dark and dangerous. I could see my entire future in them, and I relished in it.

“Good girl…” He whispered, grabbing my hips as he brought the both of us down to the floor, laying me on the hardwood as he worked on getting himself out of his pants.

I didn’t get a chance to see his member before he penetrated me, but the stretch was so delicious it had me grasping at his shirt while he hissed in a show of control, determined to bottom out inside of me but allow me the time to get used to his intrusion.

“Such a good girl for me…” His words would be my undoing, I was certain of it. And once he paired his forceful thrusts with them, I knew it was only a matter of time until he took me to bliss.

“So fucking sexy, sweetheart…” He whispered, eyes taking in every single inch of skin exposed to him until he decided that it wasn’t enough. With a growl, he tore the fabric of my dress, leaving it tethered underneath me - but I didn’t care.

“Spread those legs nice and wide for me, kitten.”

Andy’s P.O.V.

I gazed deep into her eyes, unbelieving that this was truly happening.

I was holding her.

I was taking her.

“How could she ever think I would keep myself away from this perfect little pussy?” I groaned, taking advantage of the space she’d given me to really plummet into her. “Tell me. How could I ever resist you, baby?”

Her hands brushed away some strands of hair that were sticking to my forehead, eyes hypnotizing as she answered, “You don’t.” I was confused for a second until her arm wrapped around my shoulders and she pulled me down for a quick kiss.

“You belong to me now,” she explained. “You’ve always belonged to me.” My breath hitched at the intensity of the moment, suddenly overwhelmed by the realization of what it meant. I’d spent so many years yearning for her and the connection we shared…

But now I had her. I had her. And I’d never have to let her go.

“Yes…” I moaned, rubbing my beard against her neck just to hear her giggles. “I’m yours…” Her answer was a moan of her own, cunt clenching deliciously around me, throwing me that much closer to reaching that unbelievable high.

“Fuck,” I cursed, arms faltering for a second and almost bringing me down on her. “Feels so good.” I got back to kissing her skin, sucking bruises on it just so I’d be able to admire them later.

Looking at her now, already so fucked out and all mine, I couldn’t believe I’d been able to hold back for as long as I did.

“Yeah?” She panted, hands rubbing her own nipples below me. “You like my pussy?” Hearing her speak like this, chasing her pleasure with me, snapped something in my control.

I had her on her stomach in the blink of an eye. “Get on your hands and knees,” I ordered against the shell of her ear, pulling her by her hair. She wasted no time in doing just so.

“Fuck, yes!” She screamed when I slammed it in and started fucking her fast and rough. “Yeah, take it out on me. Fuck me like a whore, Andy. I know what you’re capable of. I can take it!”

A shiver ran down my spine as I realized I could actually be rough with her. I could actually fuck her like I wanted to, and she would enjoy it.

“Feels so good…” She moaned once I started doing just that, giving it to her in the way I’d never been able to do with Laurie.

“I never thought I’d be with you like this…” I admitted, eyes closing momentarily as I felt her pussy clench around me, trying to milk me to join her orgasm.

“Oh, Andy!” Hearing her say my name while she came was almost enough to have me cumming, but I was glad I didn’t once she managed to get back to her senses because she then turned around to stare at me, a smirk on her perfect lips.

“Will you cum inside of me, Andy?” She asked, mischief written all over her eyes. “Will you make me a mother?” The noise that left me was barely even human, as I let my head fall back and I closed my eyes to give into the moment.

“Fuck, yes!” I roared, and when she started to fuck herself back against me, I knew I wouldn’t keep it together for much longer.

“Then do it,” she dared, to which I intensified my thrusts as I chased that blissful pleasure.

“I’m gonna,” I warned. “I’m gonna cum deep inside this pussy. You won’t be able to walk tomorrow. You get that?” And just as she eagerly nodded, I fulfilled my promise and emptied my cum inside of her cunt.

I’d never cum as hard in my life.

“I love you,” I confessed after I was able to catch my breath - only to lose it again to a deep, passionate kiss. “I’ve always loved you. I never stopped thinking about you. Promise me you’ll be mine forever.”

A sad smile painted her lips, and she averted her gaze from mine, but her fingers kept caressing the hand with which I cradled her cheek. “I wasn’t the one who left,” she reminded me. “Remember?”

Chuckling, I pulled her in for a kiss again, another promise I knew I’d fulfill slipping from my lips easily. “I won’t make that mistake again, sweetheart.”

#my fics #emmaandmiriscrackfics #andy barber smut #andy barber #smut #andy barber x reader #andy barber reader #andy barber reader insert #andy barber reader inserts

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margowrites · 3 years

Text

An Unlikely Romance

Pairing: Biker!Bucky x Female!Reader

Summary: Your next door neighbour is making your life a complete misery. One day you snap and go to confront him, only it doesn’t go quite as planned.

Word count: 2,279

Author’s Notes: Hello! This was really fun to write and tropes are my favourite things to write because the possibilities of them are just so perfect. This is written for @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog and @iwantutobehapppier’s fanfic trope writing challenge! For the challenge I chose Neighbours and Enemies to Lovers. Thank you for having me and allowing me to write even if the deadline was today! Massive thank you to my wonderful friend @jobean12-blog for brainstorming this wonderful idea with me! ❤️

Warnings: asshole!bucky, noisy neighbours, language, enemies to lovers, minor injuries, biker!bucky, small breakdown, arguing, calmness, mutual pining kind of, Bucky is a bit of an idiot but he turns soft. Let me know if I missed something 🙈

It’s been weeks since the last time you were able to relax in your apartment without a disturbance. You miss being able to take naps whenever you wanted, reading a book quietly in bed with no worries about what was going on around you. Being able to sleep through the whole night without so much of a peep from your surrounding neighbours. It’s been weeks since you’ve felt safe being in your own apartment and it’s all down to the new neighbour who moved in next door, just weeks ago.

He rode bikes, day and night it seemed. Revved up that engine even past midnight and early in the mornings. You’ve caught glimpses of the trouble maker; usually clad in his leather outfit with a bandana and black sunglasses on his head. He seemed to be in some kind of a biker gang, since he was rarely alone outside in the courtyard and in his apartment.

He was such a nuisance, so inconsiderate to his neighbours. You’ve heard him slam doors at 3 in the morning, not just once, but three or four times often making you wonder how they are still on their hinges. The problems didn’t stop there, he was notorious for talking loudly down to the phone. Yelling so loudly you could make out every word he was saying, and he would talk on the phone all hours of the night.

Your peaceful nights were gone and so were your naps, there’s just no way you could sleep through it, and there’s no way you could stay in bed in the mornings with him still banging about in there. Reading your book was impossible, the words just wouldn’t make sense and sometimes you couldn’t even hear your own television.

You’ve never talked to him, but you already hated him. All you wanted was just one quiet night, a decent night’s sleep. Was that really too much to ask for? Well, apparently it was since you’ve complained about his noise to him multiple times.

Turns out, he hates you too because the first time you complained was a few days after he moved in. At first, you thought the noise was just from him moving in which you knew he couldn’t help. But that’s when the slamming of the doors started. You knocked on his door and waited patiently for him to answer. You didn’t want to come off as rude and remained polite and civil, even when he answered the door with an annoyed look on his face.

“What?” He asked rudely, his tone caused you to flinch slightly but still, you somehow kept your composure and remained polite.

“Hello! I’m your next door neighbour and I was wondering if you could please keep it down when it’s really late at night?” You offered a friendly smile, which he returned with a scowl and a grunt, opting to slam the front door in your face instead.

The other three times you’ve complained to him, you’ve had the same outcome; a scoff and a door slamming shut in your face. You’ve learned complaining won’t do a damn thing. The man infuriated you beyond belief. Moving wasn’t an option, and your landlord was quite useless and ignored most of your calls. You were stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Weekends were notably worse than the days because your inconsiderate and rude neighbour would have a group of friends around. Not that you were a party pooper, everyone was entitled to their freedom of course but when you could hear their obnoxious laughing and rock music blasting through the walls, it was a nightmare. He was a nightmare. It just so happens that he was a walking handsome nightmare. One you found yourself having a damn crush on. What was all that about? You couldn’t help it though, not when he was he was tall - you guessed around 6ft-something with hard looking muscles and a face dusted in a stubble you just wanted to kiss. Having a crush on someone you hated felt ridiculous and unrealistic. Why drool over a man who was rude to you for no reason? Unfortunately, he did have a really nice deep and manly voice that was attractive. Mornings especially you could hear the raspiness in his voice as he just woke up.

***

It was almost 7pm when you were finished showering and tucked up in bed with your newest novel. It’s one you’ve been dying to read for quite some time and you were rather hoping you were in for a quiet evening, considering your neighbour had left early this morning and still wasn’t home which was unusual for him. He had a routine, you noted. Awake at 5am, slamming doors by 5:05am, out of the apartment by 6:30am and home by 5pm at the latest. But since it was the weekend, you figured he might be a nuisance to someone else’s neighbours for the night, or with a bit of luck his wheels fell off his bike and he’s stranded hours away from home and won’t be back anytime soon. You smiled at the thought, wiggling your toes and snuggling further into the pillows behind you that were perched up against your headboard.

Your wishful thinking however, was soon short lived when the sounds of heavy footsteps stomped past your front door and into the apartment next door. It's now 9pm and peace was over. It’s him, you know his annoying laugh by now. He’s not alone, other voices joining in on the laughter and lots of cheering. He hasn’t been home for a minute before the music starts playing, the bass of the music shaking your walls so much that your pictures threaten to fall off. At this point, you’ve had enough. All you wanted was just one peaceful night, but with it being so early still you knew his party could go into the early hours of the morning and just the thought of that made your eyes well up and then the tears fell freely. Weeks of pent up anger and frustration, your attempts of being civil and neighbourly and just asking politely to keep the noise down has broken you.

You grab a sweater off the chair in the corner of the room; pulling it over your head and angrily wiping your tears away. You storm out of your apartment, ready to give him a piece of your mind once and for all. Maybe if you threaten to complain to the landlord, it’ll shake things up or it’ll make things worse but you were done being nice.

As always, nothing with you ever went so smoothly. Because you’re a shaking mess when you’re angry and have never had to confront anyone before, you stumble over your feet and land harshly on your forearm, feeling the skin rip. You yell out in pain, more tears falling and you’re not sure if it’s because of the pain from your arm or just feeling defeated. One thing you do notice though is the music has stopped and voices have hushed. The door to his apartment slowly opens and through blurry eyes, you see him looking down at you like he always has.

He rushes to your side, gently rubbing your back and asking questions that you’re not hearing from the blood rushing to your ears. Your heart rate must be through the roof at this point.

“Doll?” His voice sounds more clearer, and you turn your head to see he’s so close to you that his hair is in your face. “Hey come on, it’s alright, it’s alright.” He assures you as he helps you up, being careful not to hurt you.

“Buck?” His friend grabs his attention, he says something to the friend that you don’t hear and he leads you back towards your apartment.

Once inside, he sits you down on your couch and goes to the bathroom in search of a medical kit. He finds one in your unit, and returns some minutes later. Your eyes are still blurry and your mind is foggy when your neighbour sits on the wooden coffee table opposite you and gently grabs your hands and cleans the wound on your arm and gives you something for the pain.

“Are you okay?” He asks, leaving a glass of cold water on the side table for you. “That’s gonna be a nasty bruise.”

After everything he’s put you through, you still offer him a friendly smile and a slight nod. “Yes, thank you for helping me.” His face falls, he feels stupid. How could he treat you so badly and be so inconsiderate and you remain so friendly?

“Of course! I couldn’t just leave you out there.” He sighs.

“I thought you didn’t care about me.” You say, a hint of sadness in your tone.

He scoffs, “what makes you think that?”

Of course his friendliness wouldn’t last long.

“Are you serious right now?” You snapped, “you’ve made my life a living hell these past few weeks with your fucking bike and door slamming! Whatever those doors did to you they are very sorry! And your music!! Oh my god! I can’t take it anymore!” Your voice got louder as the anger just poured out of you. “I was coming over to yours to give you a piece of my mind when I fell! This is all your damn fault!!!” You cried, just completely broken.

“Are you done, doll?” He smirks and oh my god, how you didn’t punch him in the face right there and then you didn’t know.

“Am I done?! I don’t even know your name and you’re a stranger in my house!”

“I’m very sorry for all the noise. I can explain most of it.”

Your eyebrows shot up into your hairline, “so explain then.”

“My doors are sticky, you have to slam them to get them to shut.” He sighs and shakes his head, “the landlord said he would come out and fix them but it’s been weeks.”

“Yeah don’t I know it.”

“… and as for the music, I have no excuse. It’s my way of relaxing…” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “And as for the bikes, it’s just for fun and I apologise for the inconvenience. We are a friendly ‘gang’ I guess you’d like to call it, we mean no harm to anyone and I certainly didn’t mean to make your life a misery. I really am sorry.”

“So why were you so rude to me when I asked you to keep it down?” A deep crimson dusted his cheeks and he cleared his throat.

“I was startled. I didn’t expect to open my door and be faced with an angel on the other side of it. I didn’t know what to do since I knew a pretty lady like you wouldn’t look twice at a guy like me, I figured it’d be the best option to make sure I knew I wasn’t missing anything but it didn’t… work.”

“So wait.. you don’t hate me?”

Your nerves fluttered in your chest. His presence felt comforting and safe. All the reasons why you felt this strange attraction to him in the first place that was temporarily buried under your anger was coming up to the surface again.

“No, of course I don't. I don’t really know you enough to hate you but I hope we can change that.”

“I still don’t know your name.”

“I’m Bucky.” He extends his right hand for you to shake.

“I’m Y/N.”

“Y/N. That’s a beautiful name for a beautiful lady.”

You laughed his compliment off, not sure how to respond to such a compliment as charming as that was.

“So, would you like to come and meet some of my friends?” You nodded, figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least say hello since you took their host from them for a while now since he patched you up.

His friends were all sat down when Bucky entered the apartment and you were right behind him.

“Hey gang, this is Y/N, my neighbour next door. Y/N this is Steve, Sam, the big fella over there is Thor, Tony, and the passed out dude is Clint.”

“Hello everyone.” You waved awkwardly, feeling a little intimidated by the crowd. They said hello back with a wave of their own.

“Hi Y/N, nice to meet you!” Steve greets, his blond hair bringing out his blue eyes. He seemed just as muscular under his leather jacket as Bucky did.

“Y/N! You’re the neighbour Bucko here wouldn’t shut up about!” Sam grinned.

“Shut it, Wilson!”

“Ah my lady! It’s so lovely to put a face to a name our leader here wouldn’t stop talking about.” You giggled a little, noticing how flustered Bucky was becoming.

“This was such a bad idea.” Bucky mumbled.

You felt awkward, you stood out and you obviously had no place there.

“Well, I just thought I should come and say hi and apologise for stealing Bucky from you. I’m gonna go to bed because my arm really hurts.”

Bucky nods and places a hand on the low of your back to lead you out of the apartment. The guys yell out a goodnight before going back to their usual chatter.

“Hey, we’ll keep it down I promise.” He says with a sly smile.

“Thank you, Bucky! I would really appreciate that.” You sigh, not knowing if he’ll keep his promise or if he’ll go back to being a loud asshole the moment his door is shut.

“On one condition.” He leans against your doorframe, his smile never once faltering.

“Go on?”

“Let me take you out for a coffee on Sunday. Just don’t tell anyone how soft I really am.”

You chuckle, shaking your head a little.

“You’re soft?”

“Go out with me Sunday and find out.” He winks, walking backwards back into his apartment.

You’re stood outside your door with a smile on your face, wondering how a drastic change of events happened so quickly. How does one plan on going to yell at their neighbour to going on a planned date with someone you thought you hated?

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plaid-shirtsandvibranium-arms · 3 years

Text

The Letter T

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Short Summary: Teabagging fluff (Yeah, you read that right)

Actual Summary: You and Bucky decide to update him on modern sexual trends and make a game out of it, but things get out of hand.

Warnings: SMUT. 18+ ONLY. teabagging, throatfucking, fingering, misuse of Avenger resources, injuries, strong language

-----------------------------------------------

A/N:

This is the single most absurd thing I have ever written in my life. This genre isn’t necessarily my strong suit, but hopefully it turned out well. I am also entering this monstrosity into Emma and Miri’s Fanfic Trope Challenge with Established Relationships and Fluff as my chosen tropes. @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @iwantutobehapppier Check out their challenge and their fics too!

Special thanks to:

@its-my-little-dumpster-fire for challenging me to write a loving teabagging scene. Look what you did.

@imanuglywombat @geekygee01 and @navybrat817 for throwing gasoline into what was originally a very simple question resulting in this inferno.

@pepsicup and @pigwidgeonxo for being such enablers.

Full Masterlist

“Hey, Buck?” Steve scratched his head as he ruffled through the box. Bucky shouted from the kitchen, busy making snacks. “Why are there missing Scrabble tiles?”

Bucky walked into the living room, arms brimming with several bowls of different snacks. He shrugged as he laid out the treats on the coffee table.

“I needed them.”

“For what, Buck? What do you need Scrabble tiles for other than Scrabble?”

Bucky rolled his eyes at his best pal as he popped a chip into his mouth. “Let’s just play something else.”

“No, pal. I came to play Scrabble. It’s Scrabble Tuesday. Where are the tiles, Bucky?”

Bucky’s eyes widened slightly at his best friend. He didn’t see what the big deal was with a few missing Scrabble tiles, but Steve was like a dog with a bone. He was going to chew on it until he was satisfied or his jaw hurt. It was starting to feel more like an interrogation now than anything else and he was grateful for the distraction when you walked out.

Two years into your relationship together and the sight of you still took his breath away, whether it was your adorably disheveled morning look or when you’re dressed to the nines for one of Tony’s galas. Tonight though you were going out on a girl’s night with Wanda and Natasha which meant you looked so deliciously sexy that he wanted to just fling you over his shoulder and lock you both in the bedroom for days until you begged for mercy. He still couldn’t believe his luck.

“Wow,” Steve couldn’t help but comment, a light blush coming on his face.

“Thank you, Stevie,” you said, tossing him a wink.

You leaned over the back of the armchair where Bucky sat to give him a kiss. He couldn’t help pulling you in by the back of your neck to deepen the kiss, his tongue sneaking out to twine with yours. Steve cleared his throat when you sighed contentedly, making you both pull apart.

You tossed him a sheepish smile. “Sorry, Steve. You boys enjoy your grandpa game night. Don’t wait up.”

“Don’t stay up too late,” Steve called as you made your way out. You stopped at the doorway and turned to smirk at them both, almost catching Steve staring at your ass.

“You gave us a whole week off of anything Avenger related, Stevie. We’re getting plastered and into every kind of trouble we can find.”

He gulped, already worried for what might be the aftermath of the three of you let loose. Bucky on the other hand chuckled and waved you goodbye. He wasn’t worried. He didn’t need to be. You both knew that you would never do anything that would ruin what you had.

“I think the guacamole needs some salt.”

Steve’s eyes snapped to him then and narrowed. “Forget the guacamole and tell me what you did with the Scrabble tiles.”

Bucky groaned as he got up to grab some salt, but Steve followed and kept badgering him about it. At this point he was refusing to answer out of pure annoyance. He was wrong thinking that Steve would let this go eventually.

He was so very wrong.

The next two weeks was just essentially Steve trying to get him to reveal the fate of the Scrabble tiles. It was a constant question that he somehow managed to slip in at any opportunity. Captain America was nothing if not persistent.

Bucky came home one day to the Compound tired and covered in grime from a mission with Sam. All he wanted was a hot shower and to lose himself in your waiting heat. The last thing he wanted to do was debrief Steve on a standard mission.

“Did you run into any trouble?” Steve asked all business, scribbling on his notepad.

“Not much. Easily handled. Got the files we needed. No major injuries either.”

His Captain nodded his head as he continued to write. Bucky hoped that curt simple answers would shorten the conversation. He couldn’t wait to get to you after you had sent him a picture of the lingerie you were wearing. He’s been sporting an uncomfortable erection since the flight back.

“Great. Just one more thing.”

Bucky sighed in relief.

“What did you do with the Scrabble tiles?”

He bolted out of there.

It was routine by now that Bucky, Sam, and Steve went for a morning run at the break of dawn. Bucky was always the first to rise though, needing a cup of coffee before anything else.

“Morning, Steve. Want some coffee?”

“No, Bucky, I wanna know about the Scrabble tiles.”

He groaned and dropped his head on the table. It was way too early and his incessant questioning was starting to get tiring. When Sam walked in he hoped that the issue would drop at least for the time being.

“You guys ready for a run?” Sam asked as he stretched his arms.

“Yeah, I just need to grab some water,” Steve answered before he locked eyes with Bucky again. “And the whereabouts of the Scrabble tiles.”

“For fucks sake, Steve!”

“Scrabble tiles?” Sam asked in confusion.

“Don’t!” Bucky protested, but Steve had already launched into a detailed play by play.

From then on the mystery of the missing Scrabble tiles spread throughout the Compound and now every Avenger was invested. Bets were going on who could get Bucky to confess.

It got out of hand.

“Tell me where the tiles are!” Natasha yelled as she tightened the head lock she had on him. He decided right then to limit himself to only solo training.

“Why is a kid named Ned following me around in glasses and a fake moustache?” Bucky fumed as he stormed into the common room one afternoon. Peter tried his best to disappear into the sofa and looked up at Steve apologetically.

“He was supposed to be undercover,” he muttered and Steve sighed.

They still had no leads.

“Hey, Tin Man! Did you really have to destroy my property?” Tony scoffed, interrupting dinner one night carrying the scraps of his invention.

“You sent tiny robots with cameras into my room!” Bucky argued, stabbing his fork into the potatoes.

Game night now consisted of charades and Pictionary depicting their theories on what happened. A formal meeting was called where Steve presented a full Powerpoint presentation that included recon intel, infographics, timelines, flowcharts, and an animated video with a narration. Peter was beaming with pride at helping put it together while the rest listened seriously and offered their input.

It was getting exhausting.

You weren’t any help either. Whenever things seemed to die down, you would toss in a deceivingly innocent comment that would renew the fury. The others might not have noticed, but Bucky knew you.

“You guys want Scrabble?”

“What?” Bucky yelped, fear in the apparent in his eyes as he stared at you and silently begged for you not to do this. It had only been two days of peace.

“Scrambled eggs. I’m making breakfast,” you shrugged as you pulled out a carton from the fridge.

“What about the tiles, Bucky?” Steve demanded loudly, suddenly appearing beside him and making him jump.

If not for his enhanced hearing, he wouldn’t have heard you trying to stifle your giggles while you cooked. The people involved expanded from just their friends. When he went out to buy dumplings from his favorite stall, he was asked to pay with the whereabouts of the tiles by the middle aged lady who ran the store. FRIDAY decided his passwords would all now be AvengersScrabblegate32557038. Soon he also began to receive text messages from unknown numbers.

“Who the fuck is MJ?”

It was once again Scrabble Tuesday and Steve was hounding Bucky as he moved around inside your shared quarters. He honestly was sorely tempted to sock his best friend in the mouth to get him to shut up. His head was aching and he was gritting his teeth in an attempt to not say anything, but it didn’t seem like Steve was going to let up and he didn’t think that he could take another day of this madness.

“Fine! You wanna know what happened to the tiles?” Bucky stomped his way into the bedroom and shortly after came out with a small fish bowl that housed the mysterious missing tiles. He shoved it at Steve’s chest. “Here they are!”

Steve’s face furrowed in confusion as he turned the container over in his hands, the wooden tiles inside clinking against the glass. He noticed that there was a folded piece of paper inside and he reached in to pull it out. His eyes grew wider and wider as he read the contents, his entire face and the back of his neck grew hot with the blush that quickly spread.

“Is this?” he stuttered, unable to find any words to phrase what he had just read.

“Yeah, pal. It’s a sex and kink wish list.”

Steve choked on his own spit as Bucky explained how you and he were using the tiles to randomly select a letter and a corresponding item to the list. Bucky was a charmer with the ladies in the 40s and though you had absolutely no complaints about your sex life, he understood that he might be out of date and severely out of practice. You were his best girl and he wanted to treat you right.

The redness on Steve’s face didn’t fade one bit throughout the whole conversation and his palms had grown sweaty. Of all the things everyone had theorized, surprisingly not one had guessed this. Bucky sighed seeing that the truth was settling with Steve now.

“So are we good? Can we stop with all this now?”

Steve nodded slowly, rattling around the letters, before raising his head and looking at Bucky with a strangely determined expression. The kind of look he had before an important mission.

“I’ll help you.”

That was not what Bucky intended.

At all.

-----------------------------------------------

Bucky did not plan nor expect for Steve to be as involved as he was now in his sexual experimentation with you. He says that he was just trying to be supportive of his best pal and maybe he could learn a few things too for when he got his own girl. Regardless, Bucky couldn’t shake him off and if Scrabblegate was anything to go by then he was just grateful that it was only Steve and not the entirety of New York involved this time.

Bucky first drew the letter T.

“Okay, Buck. I’ve done some research and consulted an expert,” Steve said as he strolled into the room and laid out his notes from his sketchbook. “We have a plan.”

We?

“What the hell do you mean you consulted an expert?” he started to argue, but Steve merely waived his hand dismissively at him.

“I asked Natasha about teabagging,” he said plainly, making Bucky groan and run a tired hand over his face. “She said that you should be a gentleman and shave your boys before you even attempt to put it anywhere near your girl’s face.”

Bucky gaped. He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation so casually in his living room with Captain America. Steve took his silence as prompting for more details.

“She said that it would feel like an unwelcome exfoliation if you didn’t.”

“Jesus fuck! I know what it means, Steve.”

He stomped his way out of the living room and into the bathroom, slamming the door and locking it at the sound of Steve’s footsteps following him.

“Are you doing it now?”

“Yes, Steve!”

“Do you need help?”

“Why the hell would I need your help?” Bucky said through gritted teeth, the sound of his electric razor filtering through the door.

“Well you might not be able to get all of it and you could -”

“Fuck!”

“Hurt yourself,” Steve sighed. “You okay, pal?”

Bucky groaned and cursed at the entire absurd situation, but then he recalled your beautiful face and the excitement you had when you were both putting the list together. The trust that was clear in your eyes and that glint of mischief that had his cock hardening immediately.

“What else did Nat say?” he relented. Clearly he was in over his head and he did need help. He wanted this to be perfect for you. He wanted the entire experience to be perfect for you.

That was how Bucky found himself lying down in a waxing salon that afternoon with his legs raised and spread with Steve standing beside him waiting for the technician to come in. A sheet was thankfully put up to protect his modesty and to keep him from freaking out. The blonde super soldier clamped a hand on his shoulder and smiled encouragingly down at him.

“It’ll be over before you know it, pal.”

It wasn’t.

That afternoon Bucky gained a new respect for anyone that got a wax. The first time the sheet was ripped from his skin, he cursed up a storm and gripped at Steve’s forearm so tight that he would have broken it if he didn’t have the serum. Being the good best friend that he was, Steve put a warm wet cloth over Bucky’s face to help him relax. He didn’t do it so that he could take a peek at what his pal was packing. He wasn’t curious.

Not at all.

“It’s all good, Buck. Nearly done.”

After what felt like an agonizingly long time, Bucky limped out of the salon with his arm around Steve’s shoulder for support and a deep scowl on his face. He decided that waxing should be categorized as torture. Steve took him for ice cream to cheer him up.

It took a couple of days for Bucky to recover and plan out the actual event for you. He was still that 40s gentleman and he still wanted to make it romantic for you. He set up a picnic in a secluded spot within the compound on the bank of a manmade lake. You had both found it when you were taking a walk together, lost in new conversations where you were still just getting to know each other. It’s been your secret spot since then.

He was staring at you adoringly as you laughed at something he said, the afternoon sun making you look like a goddess to him as you both lay sprawled on the blanket. You were so beautiful to him and his heart was just bursting with his love for you. Despite everything he’s had to endure, he would suffer through all of it again if it meant ending up right here next to you. His eyes were fixated on your lips as you spoke, wet from the juice you had been sipping. The food he prepared was long consumed and he found himself hungry for something else.

“Kiss me, Bucky,” you said, waking him up from his trance. You smiled and moved closer to him, pressing your body to his and raising your hand up to run through his hair. “I know that look on your face. Take me.”

Bucky didn’t need much more prompting, closing the small distance with a growl to crash his lips onto yours. You returned it in spades, your tongues battling for dominance and teeth nipping on swollen lips. He could get lost in the taste of your kiss forever if he was given a chance. He pulled you in closer and hiked up your leg to his hip, grinding his apparent hard on against your clothed core. You made a good decision to wear a dress today.

He felt a light sting around his thigh and shook it off, too preoccupied with the heat of your body and the feel of your curves. He sighed when you tugged his hair, but a sharper bite around his crotch this time made him recoil. He yelped when another came. Then another.

Then another.

You looked at him, worried and confused, as he pushed you away and began to pat down in panic at his crotch. “Buck, are you okay?”

“It hurts!” He was jumping around and scratching at himself like a madman, trying his damnedest to ease the pain. He yelped and groaned in pain as he hurriedly took off his pants to reveal the horror that lay underneath.

Ants.

There were ants on Bucky’s crotch.

Specifically, around his man berries.

“What the actual fuck?”

Through your confused terror, you could both hear the faint buzzing of bees nearby and they were getting louder. Bucky didn’t have time to answer you, the pain of an army of small bites on his most sensitive and recently made hairless area as well as the threat of more insects overcame him. He ran for the lake and jumped right in, cursing Steve’s name the whole time and promising himself he would never believe Natasha’s advice ever again.

It was an awkward journey back to the Compound and Bucky was completely sulking now in the bathtub as you washed him. You were losing a battle with yourself at trying to stifle your laughter after your boyfriend, feared as the most notorious assassin in history, confessed what caused the unfortunate attack on his family jewels.

Sugar water.

Natasha and Steve had convinced him that to make the experience even more pleasurable for you then it would be nice if his chin bangers didn’t taste like, well, balls. If you were going to be sucking on his marbles, then shouldn’t you get something out of it? In his head it made perfect logical sense. So after much debate with Steve, they agreed on dipping his majesticles in sugar water. Clearly they did not take into consideration that they would be going on a picnic.

You bit your lip hard and had to hide your laughter behind coughing several times, trying your best not to make your man feel worse than he already did. The bath you ran for him had soothing oils that was good for the inflammation and you washing his hair behind him, your bare breasts pressed on the hard planes of his back, was meant to comfort his ego. You spent some time soaping up his body too, carefully handling his plums and easing the irritation in that region.

“Thank you for today, Bucky,” you said softly, your fingers slowly massaging his scalp.

“But everything went wrong today.”

You hushed him and turned his head to face you, the pout was too adorable on his face for you not to kiss. “You really went above and beyond for me and I love you so much for that. I will always love you for trying.”

He reached for your nape to pull your lips back to his. He kissed you with a different kind of hunger, a search for reassurance that the fiasco today didn’t change anything. You answered him back without hesitation, your own lips molding to his in a movement that was instinctive by now. Your heart actually softened when he told you all the trouble he went through to make the experience the best possible for you. You loved this man.

You continued to care for Bucky, meticulously rinsing him and gently toweling him after. You swatted his hand away when he tried to take the towel from you. He took taking care of you as a serious task at all times so you relished the moments when you could return the favor.

With you both still completely naked, you knelt in front of him to dry his legs and inspect the damage on his danglers and were pleasantly surprised that it had already completely healed. Perks of having the serum. When you looked up to tell him this, you noticed that he refused to look you in the eye and a deep scarlet spread across his face. He was still obviously in his head and deeply embarrassed.

You knew just how to get him out of it.

The first swipe of your tongue from his balls up to the tip of his cock had him stiffening immediately. He tried to pull away from you but you held him by his hips and smiled wickedly up at him as you kissed the tip of half-hard cock.

“We don’t have to, doll.”

“I want to.”

You winked at him before you took the head of his cock into your mouth, sucking on it hard before letting it go with a loud pop. He groaned above you, one hand shooting out to grab the back of your head. He was conflicted between still wallowing in the awkwardness of today and the beautiful sight of you with his cock in your mouth.

You decided for him.

You dipped your head low and lapped at his balls, moaning in appreciation at the smooth texture against your tongue. You gripped his shaft and slowly pumped him as you continued to run your mouth below. He was huffing and moaning above you before long. You smirked before you took his balls in your mouth and hummed. The jerk of his hips delighted you.

“Fuck, doll. That feels so good.”

You flattened your tongue and swirled it across his skin, drawing patterns as you pumped him faster. The grip he had in your hair tightened and pushed you closer.

“Christ! How are you so good at that?”

You pushed away from him and he whined, making you smile at how wrecked he already looked. There was just something about having control over a man that fearsome, having his eyes blown and consumed by lust for you, that had your pussy tingling and your ego inflating.

You surprised him by sitting on the cool tiles facing away from him, your knees raised in front of you and legs spread open. You bent your head back and slipped between his thighs, your neck adjusting to the odd angle. You opened your mouth and took him again, this time more forcefully. He hissed above you and his hands flew to find something to grip on the walls.

His knees began to grow weak with every suck and lick you made. He gripped his cock in his hand and began to fuck into it as you quickened your pace. He almost came when you went further and pressed your tongue hard on the sensitive patch between his puckered hole and his balls. He swore loudly and growled as you continued your exploration.

Feeling a rush of confidence from his reactions, you decided to give him a show. Your hands came to grope at your own breasts, twisting and tugging at your hardened peaks. You heard his breath hitch, encouraging you to drag your hands lower past your winding hips.

“This turning you on, doll?” he rasped. “Are you wet for me?”

You swiped a hand through your slit, dipping two fingers in before lifting it to show Bucky the obvious evidence of your arousal. He snatched your wrist to suck your fingers into his mouth.

“Fucking delicious,” he groaned.

You slid from beneath him just enough for you to be able to take his cock in your mouth, as your hands traveled back down to your aching cunt. You sucked hard on Bucky, hollowing your cheeks to take as much as you can of him.

Bucky didn’t know what to do with himself so he went on pure instinct. The feeling of you sucking the life out of his cock with his balls grinding on your face coupled with the image of you going to town on your sopping cunt with your fingers drove him to insanity. His hips moved on their own accord, fucking hard into your throat. The scandalous sounds of your muffled moaning, his desperate grunts, and the wet sounds from your pussy bounced off the tiles.

“I’m close, doll. Fuck, I’m so close.”

You renewed your efforts on him; pressing your face closer, flattening your tongue on his cock, and rubbing furiously on your clit. You knew he was about to cum when his thrusts became erratic and you heard the suspicious cracking of tiles. With one last hard thrust into your mouth, he pulled himself out and came all over your breasts with a loud moan. You hummed as you felt the warmth of his cum painting your skin, your hands coming up to smear around the wetness.

He stepped away from you, bending down to kiss you hard before pulling you up to your feet. His hands came around to massage your neck and your shoulders, easing the kinks out from the awkward position. He nibbled at your bottom lip as his breathing started to return to normal.

“Now it’s your turn to sit on my face.”

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A/N: This thing will remain a OneShot unless someone manages to convince me with equally absurd plot for the rest of the Alphabet. If you wanna have a go send me an Ask. Include a letter (or letters) with a corresponding sex thing of your choice PLUS a stupidly ridiculous way for it to go completely wrong. Be as detailed as you wanna be. Go crazy.

#emmaandmiriscrackfics #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes x reader smut #bucky barnes x reader fluff #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan fanfic

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