#emerald for success in future

[silverthehedgehoganalysis]

Here is a list of traits Silver has shown in the games, Sonic Channel and other Sonic Team made content:

Righteous, has a strong sense of justice and is driven to make things right

Kind-hearted, puts other people’s happiness before his own and will drop his mission to help others, is motivated by his desire to protect smiles, wants to use his powers not for himself, but to help others.

Extremely Determined

Optimistic and Hopeful, believes there’s always a chance as long as you don’t give up, inspires hope in the people he works with in Forces, the final story of Sonic 06 and when he helps Elise through her performance anxiety

Pure, has a “sincere, unpretentious and kind” demeanor and wears his heart on his sleeve, this genuineness and purity gives him an “enduring charm” that is one of the biggest things his friends, particularly Blaze, enjoy about him and makes others want to support him

Forthright, is very direct and frank with people and has a straight to the point mentality, is straightforward in his actions and thinking

Earnest and blunt to the point of naivety, expects people to believe and cooperate with him when he says he’s from the future, hides very little and is so honest that he announces himself when attacking Sonic

Not trusting post 06, doesn’t give Sonic a Chaos Emerald until he proves he’s real in Sonic Generations and is the most suspicious of Dodon Pa

Snide and Sarcastic, sneers at Eggman’s theme park in Sonic Colors and has a snotty attitude towards anyone he can one up, remarks “What am I doing?” when going with Amy

Brash, has rude/informal mannerisms and can be abrasive, particularly to people who are not his allies

Juvenile, described as young and immature by his creator Shun Nakamura, this immaturity ties into many aspects of his character as well as his purity but is also the source of his snotty attitude and rude behavior, supposedly he doesn’t like green peppers which is the Japanese equivalent of children not liking broccoli 

Focused, proactive and practical mindset, seen particularly throughout Sonic Forces

Focused on his goals, Does not care what the plan is called in Forces, only that it works and when asked about his favorite race item he says that he likes Jade Ghost because “It lets him disappear and focus on the race”

Inquisitive and proactive, questioned others about how the world was destroyed in the Iblis future his whole life, fought Iblis to try and clear the sky himself, spent most of Team Sonic Racing cracking down on Dodon Pa and Eggman, reads into “Ancient Wisdom” in the good future

Sharp and intuitive, Figures out how to revive Sonic in 06, sees through Eggman Nega's disguises by noticing small details, does successful detective work in Sonic 06 and Team Sonic Racing, intuits Blaze trying to control great powers when seeing them for the first time, has solved various puzzles and mysteries by himself, “knows a lot” according to Sonic in Silver’s Sonic Channel introduction story

Skilled and Crafty, skillfully accomplishes various tasks during his Town Missions in Sonic 06, turns his fight with Sonic into a race to collect Chao in Sonic Rivals 2, Vector refers to him and Blaze as professionals in the Team Vector Nintendo Dream interview, has had jobs as a delivery boy, a figure skater, a “genius” skating coach and a butler

Trains off-screen and makes steady efforts to improve his abilities, seems to be self-taught in his skills 

Sometimes takes everything on himself

Warrior with a warrior mentality, described as a warrior, enjoys fighting and will fight his friends for fun, fought and struggled for half his life in the Iblis future, values bravery and facing things head on, dislikes cowardice and indirect tactics, can endure “pain beyond description” and is undeterred by injuries (Shadow’s infamous kick to the head only made him mad)

Competitive and proud/confident in his abilities, has a smug attitude about his abilities and can get competitive over something as simple as handling Orbot and Cubot, clashes with Blaze the first time(s) they meet because of this

Headstrong and Confrontational, confronts Infinite alone because of this, gets offended when Blaze she calls him “weak” and treats him like an amateur 

Very Emotional, tends to rush in and deal with things too head-on because of the strength of his feelings and start confrontations because he gets heated, his passion drives him forward but this same passion can cause him to be rash as his actions are dominated by his feelings

Hot Tempered and impatient, can be easily angered and gets frustrated or indignant when things don’t go his way, can get annoyed at things that get in the way or impatient with things that aren’t to the point, his sense of justice causes righteous indignation at great injustices, his temper can be quite similar to Blaze’s

Has Aggressive energy in both his demeanor and body language, generally has confident or determined expressions, often makes fists, punches things when he's frustrated and gets up by punching the ground

Can be Ruthless, has resorted to playing possum, sneaking past Soleanna guards, robbing people and killing to accomplish his goals

Courageous to the point of being Reckless, puts other’s safety before his own, instantly reacts to protect those around him when attacked in Sonic Comic, Instantly battle ready when surprised in Generations, fought against Iblis and its monsters from a very young age growing up in an extremely hazardous devastated future, both values bravery and dislikes cowardice, recklessly went off to face Infinite on his own and is noted to not back down even in the face of his mighty power, will sacrifice himself without a second thought if necessary

His way of life inspires others and makes them want to cheer him on, this even extends to real life as the illustration at the top this post inspired everyone in the office to give him a high five that day

Cannot lie but can change the subject

Doesn’t know how to explain/express himself at times

Scratches his head with his index finger when processing his thoughts

Feels joy and anger loudly but is quiet in sadness and contemplation

Gets rowdy, riled up and puts his all into things he’s feeling but is very low and quiet when something is on his mind or he’s feeling down(He’s totally autistic, this is autistic volume)

Has a mischievous side

Like apples, ate apple flavored rations in the Iblis future

Deeply appreciates peace, prosperity and people‘s smiles, beautiful vistas and people living peacefully leave him breathless

His desire for peace is seemingly driven by strong empathy for both the people and environment around him, blue skies make him feel at peace, natural beauty and people living prosperously takes his breath away, desolate or destroyed areas sadden and upset him, he can’t help but smile when he makes others smile and can’t stand to see the suffering in his destroyed futures

Has a very quiet, introspective and empathetic side (he deeply and quietly reflects on the morality of his mission throughout 06 and quietly takes in everything about Elise’s past)

AB blood type meaning that he's dual natured and adaptable based on the situation

Is a Taurus

#silver the hedgehog #blaze the cat #sonic the hedgehog #eggman nega #shadow the hedgehog #sonic #sonic 06 #sonic rivals #sonic rivals 2 #sonic colors #sonic generations #sonic forces #team sonic racing #sonic channel #sonic comic #espio the chameleon #sth #Shun Nakamura #daisuke ono #japanese red maple leaf 🍁 #world peace #the American comics were not included due to not being made by Sonic Team #vector the crocodile #Team Vector #eggman #Dodon Pa #This is not even everything #Silver is a VERY layered character

[skullsuited]

drunk & high.

gif credit.

an lhh!era/fwb!harry imagine that is simply riddled with pure filth, wine consumption & marijuana smoking. inspired by true events.

smut warning: some heavy degradation/dirty talk, daddy kink, hair pulling, p-in-v sex. this is just straight up porn without plot.

Maybe it was the red wine, perhaps it was the fact that you’d both drunk almost the entirety of the bottle.

It could’ve been the joint you two smoked. Harry always has good weed, it continuously blows your mind how pure and strong it is. 

Whatever it was, it had led you to this very moment. Your feelings of undeniable lust and mutual appreciation for one another, along with your inebriation and intoxication had found a home in your bodies and the scene you were in would be burned into your memory for the foreseeable future.

Your lower half is exposed, leggings and underwear pulled down just enough so Harry has access to your core. “Please…” You whine submissively, lying on your stomach as anticipation courses through your veins. You want him so badly and the state of your mind is only making him look ten times sexier than you usually find him. 

Harry towers over you, growling with dominance and desire as he grips your hips with one hand and guides his cock into your cunt with the other, emerald eyes gazing down at you from above. 

It’s clear he wants you just as much as you want him.

Your jaw slackens as he pushes inside of you, a gasp leaving your throat as his cock stretches you out in the familiar, practiced way it always has. After a few years of exploring each other’s bodies, you both are knowledgeable in how to make one another moan or render each other absolutely speechless – though, he’s the one who usually has you doing those things. 

Harry’s quick to lie on top of you, his chest pressed to your back as he begins to thrust slowly, heavy breaths and soft grunts leaving his raspberry colored lips. Your eyes meet and his hand tangles in your hair to maneuver your head, lips meeting yours in a sloppy-sweet kiss. 

It’s brief, a gradually growing makeout session that only lasts a few seconds, but you take it for what it's worth. Then he really starts fucking you. His hands find your hips and his torso is no longer pressed to yours, but the sight above you is almost mesmerizing; head thrown back, features screwed up in pleasure and concentration and all you can do is gape at him, watch as he takes you, takes you like you belong to him and only him. 

Your eyes shut, too lost in the pleasure you’re receiving from the man hovering above you. 

“D-Daddy, oh…” You moan, body moving like the sea’s tide, allowing yourself to relax and simply be fucked by Harry. One of his hands tangles in your hair again, pulling at it before pushing your head into the mattress, a low groan rumbling in his chest. 

You both move in quick succession, the wine and the weed impairing time and heightening pleasure as your bodies mold to each other, forgetting about the outside world or your duties as adults. Right now, in the safe space of his bedroom, the only thing and only people that matter are you and him and the art you’ve both perfected when it came to being sexual partners. 

Harry pulls out of you briefly, flipping you both onto your sides before pushing back into you. You can feel how wet you’ve gotten his cock, how wet you’ve gotten as he resumes fucking you, thrusting with fervor. His right arm is wrapped around your chest, keeping you pressed to his own, while his left hand is anchored to your waist, pulling your ass into him. 

“L-love taking your c-cock.” You speak, words broken by ecstasy. 

His lips are near your ear, “Yeah, take this cock you fucking cockslut.” 

Your hand finds its way in between your legs, preoccupying your fingers with rubbing your clit in fast, small circles. “Oh my God, oh my God…”

“Gonna cum for me, darling? Hm? Are you goin’ to cum on Daddy’s cock?”

“Yes- yes, fuck, Harry.” You babble, your free hand clawing at the arm he’s got wrapped around your chest. You aren’t quite sure how much time has passed since you initially started your tryst, but you do know that your impending orgasm is approaching rather quickly. “Want- want your cum. Want you to cum inside me.” You add, hopefully spurring his own release on. 

“Yeah? You want my cum?”

You nod jerkily, body shaking as your orgasm draws nearer. You are so close, but you don’t want to cum without him.

“Then take it.” Harry growls and before your brain can register it, you feel his cock throb inside you, his thrusts slowing as he empties himself. The feeling alone sends you into overdrive, your own release crashing down on you with intensity as you tense up, moaning his name like a mantra. 

“That’s it. S’ a good slut.” He murmurs, thrusting his hips languidly into you, fucking you slowly through your orgasm. Your fingers cease their movements once Harry stops his, your hand falling away from your clit. 

You both go quiet, breathing heavily as your climaxes dissipate and you wade in the post coital bliss. Harry pulls out of you gently before settling on his back, pulling your body into his. Your head rests on his chest and a smile pulls at your lips as his arm wraps around you, holding you close. 

“Can we do this again?” You ask, nuzzling your face into his chest a bit.

“I don’t see why not.” He replies. 

You nod, silence slipping over the moment as sleep pulls you both under. 

Perhaps getting drunk and high with Harry would become a whole new adventure.

#harry styles imagines #1d imagines #harry imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry one shot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #lhh!era #fwb!harry #lhh #1d smut #1d imagine #yes my real life inspired this 🥴 #mostly pwp

[19burstraat]

queering futurity in crooked kingdom

if I had any real time for this (I do not) I'd be tempted to write a real essay about it, but I have a dissertation and two other real essays for my actual degree, so let's do a bad tunglr bullet point analysis. I'm... largely generalising and paraphrasing here, and I suspect this has a billion things to iron out or that I forgot about, but I hope this might be a bit interesting regardless of how much you may or may not know abt queer literary theory lmao.

in extreme short, there is a subset of queer theory around what is, in essence, queer time. there is a heteronormative future/'futurity', and it is marriage, children, a good job, a nice house, and dying at a good age after a fulfilling life. queer* and trans people both reject and often cannot access this: plenty couldn't/cannot get married or have children, or had to surpass lots of obstacles to do so, many queer and trans people were or are killed young, or died prematurely in the aids crisis. and so we get queer temporality; a resistance to the heteronormative future that is refused or inaccessible, and to reproductive futurism; the concept that people value the future over the present... and this manifests in kicking back against things like the symbolic 'child' as a representative of futurity. not real children, but empty platitudes like think of the children! think of the future for your children! there can also be a development of a death drive, which is sometimes literal and sometimes metaphorical, which is, again, basically a rejection of 'the future'.

while the grishaverse doesn't have homophobia as such, you can still do queer readings, bc it is ofc influenced by our world, by virtue of being Written By A Person From Our World. and especially in kerch, there's still stuff like patrilineal inheritance... buuuut reproductive futurity & friends are very deliberately destroyed by the end of crooked kingdom. mostly by the usual culprit (taps sign that says IT'S KAZ AGAIN LOL) but by the narrative and the other characters as well. walk w me! I don't think this is a real analysis more just a lot of Thoughts but... nvm

*used here as an umbrella term since the theory I'm pulling from is the field of queer theory

the two men (van eck and rollins) who are most concerned with reproductive futurism (having heirs and a legacy, 'building something that will outlast them'), are promptly buried under the rubble of their building efforts by our usual culprit. kaz uses the mentality of legacy and lineage against them both; he kidnaps van eck's pregnant wife to use as a bargaining chip, and he uses rollins's son and heir against him, because he knows what's most important to these men is their line, their work being handed down. he deduces that rollins has a son through rollins' vanity around building something to 'last', and his naming of the kaelish prince. rollins is literally themed around monarchy and descent; the king of the barrel, the kaelish prince, the emerald palace. kaz, for his part, is the bastard of the barrel. the illegitimate son, not produced by any conventional family structure, ketterdam his mother and profit his father... and therefore he is the perfect person to blow up this imagined monarchy

wylan is rejected by van eck for his disability, for being supposedly incapable of continuing his father's legacy; and so we gather that the actual child doesn't matter to van eck, it's what The Child represented to him, which was the future of the van eck company. the illegitimate kaz restores van eck's disowned son to the succession through sheer trickery, and jan van eck's trading empire is succeeded by his son he attempted to reject, and his farm-boy barrel-tough boyfriend. they bring home the first wife that van eck had committed, for failing to produce the 'perfect' heir. no perfect heteronormative future here!

(also by virtue of wylan and jesper being a mlm couple, there is now way less emphasis that can be put on the idea of biological children 'continuing' the line, and it somewhat stops the expectation that ruined wylan's life from being passed down)

the two m/f couples are also very distant from this idealised reproductive futurity. matthias dies, ruining any idea of a 'conventional' future he could have had with nina, and while his death is generally more about the extremist brainwashing stuff explored w the drüskelle, it does blow to shreds that futurity even more, and nina's power is also a very literal HEY GUYS. LET'S THINK ABOUT DEATH... plus she leaves ketterdam to take matthias to be buried at the end of the book.

kaz and inej both do very dangerous jobs and separate for long periods of time. they may marry or they may not, they may have children or they may not, they may be physical with one another or they may not. it doesn't really matter; they'll try, but we don't get to find out how far they may or may not get, which honestly I kinda like. their future is open, the river running carrying inej to the sea. also, inej makes an explicit rejection of this kind of 'normal' future:

So he wasn’t fit for a normal life. Was she meant to find a kindhearted husband, have his children, then sharpen her knives after they’d gone to sleep? How would she explain the nightmares she still had from the Menagerie? Or the blood on her hands?

we don't really know whether or not kaz as a character is queer (I do not think kaz knows either lol) but it doesn't really matter, you can still read him as a queer figure both a) just if you want to! and b) in this sense of queer temporality, bc he's the crux of a lot of it. we already covered the bastard thing and his happy habit of kicking reproductive futurism when it's down, and as Edelman says: 'If the fate of the queer is to figure the fate that cuts the thread of futurity...' well, kaz 'build something new. watch it burn' 'he knew exactly what he was going to leave behind: damage' brekker is our man!

he does not give a single flying fuck about the future. he destroyed van eck and rollins' legacies, and he'll do that shit again. he doesn't have enough of an ego to consider a 'legacy' for himself besides destruction, which is a rejection of a legacy in itself. his plans for the future amount to fucking shit up and making a bunch of money to use to do more damage, until he gets shot/stabbed/hanged/drowned/whatever, which he constantly anticipates.

kaz also has a massive distrust and disdain for traditional family structures, because he's seen them crumble twice; his actual family are all dead, and the hertzoon con was built on creating a convincing family mode to lure them in. "my mother is ketterdam, she birthed me in the harbour; my father is profit, I honour him daily" is a sneer at paterfamilias type families where the mother is there to just give birth and the father is the head of the family, to be honoured and served, rather than loved. he also has zero sympathy for the 'think of the children!' thing, bc he knows it's disingenuous; who thought of him? no one. rollins was happy to con kids with the false promise of family and safety, and all the people he paid off were happy to turn the other way. was there no one to look after you? no, there wasn't. his mother is ketterdam: filthy, feral ketterdam. no nurturing mother has he!

So he threatens Alby and Hanna with no qualms, because while he doesn't actually ever intend to hurt children (...not physically anyway, apparently upsetting them is fair game FJJFJD), he knows the power of the threat— the idea of the child— is often more impactful than the actual act itself. ("Inej, I could only kill Pekka’s son once. He can imagine his death a thousand times.") it certainly works on rollins and van eck! he'll make you think of the damn children alright!

inej takes direct action to defend actual children, not just the idea of them, and then we hear in rule of wolves she's hated by the kerch government for it because she's fucking with their profits. (look also to how they flapped about searching for wylan, one rich man's kid, and are completely useless about hundreds of forced indentures. what a surprise...)

she reunites with her parents, but she worries persistently about whether or not they will accept her for who she has become, and we are never quite told whether or not they do. we like to think so, but we don't actually know. and although she gets to see her parents again, her future is on the wraith, not with them.

most people have dead or splintered families, actually. only inej has both parents, and for three - four years, they didn't have a daughter.

The general proximity to death in general is very potent; nina's power, kaz's whole backstory, the camping out in a graveyard. jesper's recklessness and love for fights, inej being ready to die rather than be a captiver again and kaz's response to that being 'not just yet', rather than not at all...

all following into the whole no mourners, no funerals thing!!! the fact that they know they won't be remembered or cared about if they die!!!

Edelman: 'Choosing to stand, as many of us do, outside the cycles of reproduction, choosing to stand, as we also do, by the side of those living and dying each day with the complications of AIDS, we know the deception of the societal lie that endlessly looks toward a future whose promise is always a day away.'

SOC:

Inej's mother and father might still shed tears for the daughter they'd lost, but if Inej died tonight, there would be no one to grieve for the girl she was now. 

“No mourners, no funerals. Another way of saying good luck. But it was something more. A dark wink to the fact that there would be no expensive burials for people like them, no marble markers to remember their names, no wreaths of myrtle and rose.”

pick up what I'm putting down guys please please I don't have time to tease this out properly but like. I think kaz and wylan are the linchpins here. (again)

#this is for / the fault of the people who encouraged this full post on the meme lmao #six of crows #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #wylan van eck #inej ghafa #soc meta #soc duology #my post

[thedivineart]

PICK A CARD ✶ list of reasons why will you love your future spouse﹙🍥﹚

one

cards: 7 of hearts, 10 of hearts, 4 of diamond,

peaceful and calming or healing aura

loves to surprise people but in positive way

sincere and devoted to their feelings

will possibly give you a loving and happy marriage life

successful individual due to their honesty

make someone softens around them

someone who to have large family like 4 kids and more

brings happiness and security at home

loves to play with kids

fear of being abandon or being left alone

brings heat and warmness in your heart

allowing you to fulfill your desires

very committed person when it comes to marriage life

everything they do or say something it brings amusement into you

build strong foundation for the relationship and marriage, as well friendship and sexual matters

financially stable or someone who will bring comfort in your life whether emotional and materialism

others: south node in taurus, strong taurus placements, moon in libra or strong libra placements, grass green, mint green, lavander or purple, violet, Possible names: mint, cyan, wrigley, pepper, Wesley, Adam, Esme, Aaron, Rhodes, Keanu, Sabrina, Emerald, Naomi, Alex/ Alexander / Alexandra, Ann or Anna / Hannah, Danielle/ Daniela / Daniel, Venus / Vanessa / Van / Vaughn, Oliver/ Olive /Olivia, Gareth, Finn / Finley, Kelvin / Kevin, Justine, Alfredo / Alfred / Wilfred, Wilson, Tomas or Toby

If you liked this reading leaving like, comment or feedback and re-blog are highly appreciated, thank you😊🤍

two

cards: ace of hearts, 10 of hearts, 10 of clubs

in life their main focal is home, family and the happiness they can bring into their abode life

very passionate in family, give gifting and nourishment to love ones

may love to stay at home probably a home body individual or they are often into their home spending time with their family

also they are affectionate for their family , relationship and even in friendship

someone who care a lot and often reminds you to take care of yourself

likes to visits his or her love ones or the people they care the most

reliable person who knows how to solve and give advice specially in home and family matters

someone who can't say no or have a hard time to refuse in favor of others

they may also likes to bring joy in family

successful in any aspects of life like in business

the happiness is growing when you are with them

this person is the one whom you will called "home"

stable, solid and happy marriage life

you will become more happy or will smile often when you meet them

they want a huge family, lots of kids cause they do believe that the more the merrier it is

sometimes they will be annoyed in you or you will be annoyed in them

spending and taking vacations in near beaches, family bonding or a simple date in beach or something near water

will work hard to achieve something in their life not really only for themselves but for the family also

they feel success is only valid because they have a family who's support and affectionate into them

others: sagittarius, sagittarius rising, strong sagittarius placements, sagittarius conjuncts in taurus, moon in taurus, taurus placements, taurus conjunct aquarius, aquarius sun, strong aquarius placements, aquarius conjunct pisces, pisces rising, pisces placements, aquarius in 4th house, possible names: Megan, Lola / Lolita / Lollie, Mauve, Maggie / Margie / Madge, Gen, Olive, Cyrus, Ace, Cecil / Celina / Cecilia, Art / Artemis, Seraphine / Seraphina, Sage, Scarlett, Eleonor or with a, Rosalinda, Celeste, Ethan, Henry, Gema / Gemma, Rhea, Amethyst, Phoebe, Genevieve, Darwin, Alex / Alexander, Gallen, Hugo, Kyla or Kyra or with H, Kai, Finn, Rio, Clio, Gareth, Mina, Juliet, Joe

If you liked this reading leaving like, comment or feedback and re-blog are highly appreciated, thank you😊🤍

three

cards: 6 of clubs, queen of spades, jack of clubs , jack of diamonds

they do take the responsibility in problems or situation to resolve it, however in very specific people who happened to pick this pile, your fs doesn't want to deal to this kind of responsibility into their life.

they do use their intelligent to outsmart the people who will going to betray them

likes to share their thoughts, opinions, ideas and feelings; honest

when saying something you may notice they have hand gestures and body language

reading and writing is their way of showing love perhaps it could be one of their hobbies

cannot leave without learning and studying most of the time; could be educated individual as well, lots of achievement in study matter.

open and willing to share an advice if you need it, even not too they still giving you an advice though

ambitious and skillful when it comes to work and something they do

primarily to people who pick this pile doesn't still know who is this person or they still don't yet appear in your life, in few people you knew this person. a relative by marriage for some

they don't live in your neighborhood, living far away, might be a foreign for few

they know how to turn tables for good and probably in bad too; know how to convince people and manipulative as well

don't like to get close to anybody or everybody, it's like they got strong boundaries or they do know to keep their privacy to people that mostly appear as cold and aloof

hardworking and honest often in trusted position whenever they are, in school / university, sports, into their community etc, they love to participate in anything

others: moon in sagittarius, strong sagittarius placements, sagittarius conjuncts virgo, virgo sun, moon and rising, placements in virgo, purple, green, pretty, handsome, attractive well being, adventures, extrovert, loves freedom, optimistic, fair minded person, likes to be honest, Seraphina or Seraphine, blaze, sage, Scarlett, Diana or Dianne, Aurora, Arc, Archer, Hunter, Apollo, Curtis, Marshall, Alden, Jason, Clark, Dustin, Amelia, Virginia, Emery, Aster, Rhea, Gaia, Pari, Melissa, Hazel or Acel, Daphne or Daphnie, Agatha

If you liked this reading leaving like, comment or feedback and re-blog are highly appreciated, thank you😊🤍

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a deck #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick an image #divination #divination community #spirituality #intuition #intuitive #future spouse reading #future spouse #tarot community #tarot #tarotcommunity #psychictarot #psychic #oracle #oracle reading #witch community #witch #tarot witch #tarotblr #witchblr #pac #pick a pile reading #pick a card reading #psychic readings #free psychic reading

[holdmytesseract]

So, there's this song that I've been listening to non-stop.

Kind of an oldie...with Robbie Williams. LoL.

I imagine a scenario in my head of Reader and Loki who were once in a relationship and had a falling out (because of whatever reason - maybe of his insecurities). But he sees that the Reader is fine after the break up (she isn't really, she just acts like it) and it bothers him that they moved on so quickly.

But he tries to get her back because he really does love her 😍. I thought this would be so cute.

Resurrected Love

Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader

Summary: What once had been undying love between you and Loki, had seemingly turned into dust. After the breakup, the god just isn't himself anymore; barely coping with losing the love of his life. Unlike you. You seem to be just fine; having moved on quickly. Or was it just an illusion? Nevertheless, Loki decides to try to get you back. Will he be successful?

Warnings: sadness and heartbreak, thirst? angst, swear words? suggestive smut, fighting/shouting, fluuuff - tell me if I forgot something!

Word Count: 4,5k

a/n: Ahhh first of all, I'd like to apologise... Sorry @mochie85 that this took me SO long... 🥺 Thank you again for making me the incredible Baby Fever mood board! 🥰 I hope you like this little present I got in return! ☺️💝

Tagging: (In the comments!)

Masterlist °☆• Loki Masterlist

The blaring sound of the alarm clock ripped the sleeping god out of his peaceful slumber. Groaning, Loki moved his hands from underneath his pillow and instead buried his head underneath said pillow. Bare, muscular arms pressed down on the soft, fluffy cushion; trying to drown out the noise. In vain.

A deep, husky grumble left his sore throat, before he reached out blindly to shut off the alarm. Tossing and turning in the bed, he came to lay on his back; big palms running over his face and rubbing his tired eyes. A few rays of sunshine peeked through the emerald green silk curtains; illuminating his small, cosy bedroom. Loki sighed and stretched; causing the light duvet to expose his bare torso. His gaze was directed towards the ceiling; idle and aimless. The god could still feel the tiredness and exhaustion in his bones. Not his physical, though. His mental exhaustion. It just wasn't the same since you were gone. Since you packed your bags and walked out of his apartment. Out of his life. He could sleep for hours and yet he didn't find rest. His bed was so small, but without you he was afraid to get lost in it.

Not even five minutes later, his alarm clock told him again to stand up - and he had no other choice but to give in. Shutting it off, he sat up in bed and rolled out of the comfortable confines. Sighing, he pulled the curtains to let the first rays of sunshine into his bedroom, before he slumped to the bathroom. Dressed in nothing but black briefs, Loki came to stand in front of the mirror of his cabinet, hanging above the sink. He couldn't help but to look at himself. Look at the picture of misery he had become. Dark rings were underneath his eyes. His hair was tousled and resembled more a bird's nest, than a glorious, untamed mane of a god. Fingertips grazed his cheeks and chin; feeling the black, scratchy stubble which had grown so wildly. He had let himself go since you were gone - and he knew it. But it had been pointless. Sure, eye circles, messed up hair and a wild beard was nothing a bit of seidr couldn't fix, but... It couldn't fix his broken heart, so what was the point in using it?

Nevertheless, the god was forced to regain his 'good looks'. There was a very important meeting today. A meeting he couldn't skip like the last ones. Thor would bite his head off, if he wasn't going to appear. After all, this meeting was about his future... With another deep sigh, Loki went to work. He took a shower first; cleaning his ethereal body and godly locks. After that, he shaved; getting rid of his beard. Once his skin was as smooth as it could get and clean shaven, he got dressed; slipped in one of his finest suits. Loki absolutely wasn't in the mood to leave his apartment - but he had to. And so, the god closed the door behind himself, already regretting it.

Absent-minded Loki walked through the white, plain hallways of the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters; on his way to meeting room number 204. He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, and so it came how it had to come. The god ran into somebody. His hard, strong chest collided with a way smaller, softer body. "Norns," Loki cursed under his breath, "Apologies. I don't know what-" but stopped dead in his sentence, when he registered who he ran into. "Y/N..." Your name fell from his lips so easily, and yet it felt like he was committing a crime.

You were standing in front of him, like frozen to the ground. It was the first time he was seeing you since the breakup almost a month ago. Sure, he hadn't left his apartment in that time, but he had heard from his brother that you had been away a few weeks on vacation - and it seemed like it did you really good. Of course couldn't the god help himself but to ran his eyes over your body. You wore your familiar shield uniform. The one he had ripped off your body countless times. Your Y/H/C hair was loose; framed your face beautifully. Unlike Loki's face, yours looked well-rested and refreshed. No bags or dark circles underneath your eyes. All in all, you looked recovered and yes, happy. Not in the slightest hurt or broken - like him. His eyes travelled upwards. Loki knew he was on a self-destructive path, but what was he supposed to do? His heart was screaming at him; yelling from the top of his lungs to give into it. Oh how much he loved you. Still. And then it happened. His deep blue eyes collided with your Y/E/C ones - and suddenly he felt like drowning; the world burning to ashes right in front of him. It brought back everything. All the memories. Good ones and bad ones. And all the pain.

"Lokiii!" You yelped, as he wrapped both his strong arms around your thighs and lifted you off the chair; hindering you from decorating the Christmas tree with another bauble. "Let me down!" Smiling, the god shook his head and tightened his grip a bit - only to let you know that he had you. To show you that he would let nothing happen to you. "Not until you finally speak your mind, darling." "W-What do you meeeeean?" You shrieked up, as Loki carried you away from the safety of the chair. "Tell me, if we can finally call ourselves a couple." You blinked down at the handsome god, who threw you that smouldering look which turned your knees into jelly. "I-I, uh..." He smiled again, winking. "Come on, darling." You couldn't help but giggle; shaking your head. "Lokes... We didn't even have our first kiss!" "Oh, that can be changed in a heartbeat," he purred and let you down quickly. Before you could even catch up to what was going on, his perfectly shaped lips danced with yours.

"L-Loki, p-please, I-" You moaned helplessly; writhing on the sheets beneath him. "Shhh, my goddess," he shushed you immediately; interrupting you. "Don't speak. Just feel," Loki panted; nipping at the inside of your thighs, before hypnotising blue eyes meet yours; pupils blown wide with lust. The god wore a smouldering, yet dangerous smile. A predator looking at his prey. You were completely at his mercy - and you loved every second of it.

Your hand found its way into your lover's hair; finger winding through those long raven curls. You gently tugged; nudging him on to finally do something. "Please..." You whispered; breathless. The hairs on the back of your neck raised up, when Loki gave you another smouldering smile, before he lowered his head. Your breath hitched; a chill ran down your spine at the anticipation. You knew what was to come - but you'd be never prepared for it.

"Darling, please." Loki's voice was unstable, pleading; on the verge of breaking - filled with pain and regret. Tears shimmered in his eyes. Tears of despair. Not hope. He felt like the ground fell out from underneath his feet. He was losing his grip; felt like falling into an abyss of darkness - blindly.

You shook your head, as you threw the last item of clothing in your suitcase. "No, Loki. No. Don't 'darling' me. Please don't make this even more difficult as it is." The god watched you helplessly; running a hand through his hair. "If it is so difficult for you, then why don't you just stay?" He sounded so sad. So... desperate. You swallowed hard; jaw clenching in order to suppress your own tears, before you turned to face your now ex-boyfriend. You looked him straight into the eyes, but with the seconds ticking by in silence, you avoided your gaze again - unable to stand the hurt, wounded look in his blue orbs. "Because I can't, Loki. I just can't. Don't you see? I cannot do this any longer." Now it was Loki who swallowed. "I-I understand that, lov- Y/N, but please... Give us another chance. Let us keep fighting for this love!" You snorted out a bitter laugh at his words; "Fighting, he says..." shaking your head. "I already fought so hard and long for this! For us! But apparently you were too blind to see." Your nerves were on edge; stressed out by the past weeks. "I tried and tried and tried to get through to you, but all you ever did was shut me out!" Loki wanted to answer something; opened his mouth to speak, but you immediately cut him off.

"Don't you dare pull the 'I don't understand you' card now! Because it isn't true! I do understand you! I always did! This was never our problem!" You were almost shouting by now; all the bottled-up emotions exploding within you. "You know what the problem is, Loki, huh?! You know what?!" His chiselled jaw flexed. You could tell that he was losing it as well. "Tell me, Y/N! Tell me!" He shouted; gesturing around wildly. "Scream it to me, if you have to!"

You took a few dangerous steps closer, before whispering: "Your damn insecurities." Loki gasped; almost stumbling backwards. This hit hard. Bore a knife straight through his heart - and yet he knew, that it was true. And the realisation of it made him even more angry. On himself. His hands clenched into fists; desperately trying to keep his cool. Unsuccessful.

An almost maniacal laugh escaped his lips. "Oh, I am the problem now?!" "Yes! Because you never managed to let your damn guard down around me! We've been together for over almost two years and you still don't trust me enough to just let me in! I know that your childhood and past was not easy and quite dramatic, but you can't just hide yourself away from the rest of the world for eternity!" You snapped; taking deep breaths and let the accusing words you just spat at Loki sink in. Loki said nothing; just stared at you. "Because if you do, it's going to eat you up inside someday..." You added in a way quieter voice; almost whispering. Then you returned to the bed, in order to zip the suitcase shut.

Behind you, Loki sunk to his knees; the harsh truth and reality finally hitting him full force. He knew. He had always known, and yet he couldn't bring himself to open up. He tried to fight his demons a million times, but he always lost the fight. He should've tried harder - better, because now... Now it was too late. He had lost you - because of his insecurities. Tears streamed down his face, as he started one last attempt to stop you from walking out of his life. "Y/N, p-please, please... I am so sorry, I am so sorry. Please... I-I can't lose you. If you leave m-me now... I-I'll drown a-and sink."

You swallowed hard; tried to fight against the desperate screams of your heart to stay. You had never seen him so... lost and vulnerable before. It tore at your heartstrings. But you had to do this now. There was no going back. "I'm sorry, Loki, but like I said... I can't. I can't keep fighting against the walls you have built up around you." With those words, you walked past him, "Goodbye, Loki." and out of his bedroom - out of his life. It broke him and his heart. He was nothing more than a wreck after that day.

Loki swallowed hard at the vivid memories, playing out in his head. He had to fight hard to not lose it completely in front of you and to not break down and cry. As for you, you seemed to be completely fine. "Loki." You said in a regal voice, giving him a nod - as if you didn't have a whole lot of history together. As if you never had told each other all of your secrets and wishes. As if you never had shared the deepest bond possible between human beings - mentally and physically. You greeted him like you were nothing more like acquaintances. It hurt Loki; bothered him, how quickly you had moved on. So, he tried to hide his emotions and not letting show how much of a wreck he was.

"What..." His voice cracked, so he cleared his throat quickly. "What brings you here?" The god asked; gesturing blindly towards the meeting room. "I, um, I was assigned to overwatch the meeting." Loki's eyes widened at your words, so you quickly added: "Believe me, I don't like it, too, but it is how it is." Don't like it too? Loki asked himself. Norns, he could've screamed from the top of his lungs how happy he was about this. Just to be able to see you without an excuse for a longer amount of time was like heaven for him. He wanted to answer something, but was interrupted by the arrival of Nick Fury, some of the Avengers and a few other S.H.I.E.L.D agents. "Loki, Y/N," the man with the eyepatch greeted you, before he opened the white, wooden door for everyone to get inside. "Let's get over with this, Laufeyson." Loki swallowed hard, then nodded obediently and stepped inside the big, barren room.

Throughout the whole process, Loki couldn't focus. His thoughts were circulating around you. It was all he could think about. He was so absent-minded; he didn't even listen to the others talking. Only the voice of Fury caused the god to snap out of his trance like state. "Well... It seems everybody has the same opinion..." The man with the black coat started, before he turned to face Loki directly, who sat at the very top of the table. "S.H.I.E.L.D and the United States of America allowing you to stay - as long as you're going to play by the rules." Loki swallowed and nodded - still not entirely present in his mind. "You improved; did a great job as an Avenger. Keep it up, Laufeyson."

Fury's words were the last ones of the meeting. Most agents scrambled to get out of the room; having other duties to tend to. Most of the Avengers clapped Loki on the shoulder or gave him a short nod of approval - and you? You were watching him from the sidelines. Seeing him again after almost a month had caused your feelings to run wild again. They were so quiet and chilled during and after your holiday, and now? Just one look was enough to set everything on fire again; storms battling within you. You wanted to scream, you wanted to cry - but most of all, you wanted to run. That's what you did. You fled from the meeting room; unable to be in his presence a second longer. When Loki settled his look on the chair you sat in, it was empty. Scanning the room for you wasn't fruitful as well. He sighed. You had left already, of course. Why shouldn't you? It had been nothing more than a job for you. Nevertheless, it was another small cut into Loki's already bruised and battered heart.

From that day, where once again his fate had been decided, he started to see you more often. Probably because he left his apartment more often as well now. He started to find hope again and decided to not just give up on you. Loki had made that mistake once - and he'd never let it happen again. He wasn't just giving up. Oh no... Now he was really going to fight for you, because one thing was certain... He still loved you with all his heart and he wanted you back. For good this time.

Over the next days and week, Loki repeatedly placed little cards, gifts or flowers in front of your office in the S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters. It was an easy task for him to sneak incognito inside the big building. Nobody knew and nobody recognised him. At first, you were quite confused and surprised...

You hurried to your office; messily rearranging the weapons belt around your waist on the way. You were late. Ten minutes already. Your alarm clock just decided to take a vacay today and not wake you up. "Morning, guys. Good morning." You hastily greeted everybody on your way. Once you reached your destination, you almost stumbled over the little bouquet of flowers, laying in front of the door. Y/F/F (Your favourite flowers) - your favourites. Frowning and a bit surprised, you picked the flowers up; admiring them. There was no card or such. Just the flowers. "Uh, Rob?" You asked your fellow agent, who was just passing by your office. His office was directly across yours. "Oh, hi, Y/N. Good morning." "Morning. Uh, do you know who left those flowers for me?" The man shrugged his shoulders. "Unfortunately, not, no. Sorry." "Okay..." Still frowning, you took the flowers in your office. Of course you didn't notice the craftsman, who worked on the water dispenser right beside your door. He watched you disappear inside the room with oceanic blue eyes, smiling.

That was only the start. Every day, you'd find different things on your door step. Your favourite chocolates and other sweets. Cards with little poems written on them and quotes out of books. And more flowers. Every day, you went to work with an even brighter smile, knowing that a small present was waiting for you.

You picked up the little box and opened it; finding a bottle of your favourite perfume inside. A chuckle sounded from across your office. "I think you have a secret admirer, Y/N," stated Rob, gesturing to the little present with a grin. Your cheeks reddened; nodding. "I, uh, think so too." You felt really flattered, but... Were you ready for something new? For another man after Loki? Could you imagine another man in your life who wasn't the handsome, mischievous god? You swallowed hard; staring down at the little vial in your hands. No. No you couldn't.

"Do you know who it is?" Asked Rob further, but you just shrugged your shoulders. "No, I... I have no idea. Most likely one of the other agents." Rob nodded, "Think so, too." but frowned. "You don't look really happy about it." Once more you shrugged your shoulders; sighing. "I am. I mean, it's really sweet and thoughtful, but..." "But?" Your colleague looked at you expectantly, but you didn't answer at first. And suddenly Rob had a guess. "Loki... You are still not over him, right?" Defeated, you nodded. "I never was and I think I'll never be. It seems like every decision I make, every path I choose to walk on... Everything leads me back to him. I can't forget him..." Rob looked at you compassionate. "Sounds to me like Loki is the love of your life..." You swallowed hard, in order to suppress the upcoming tears. "He is. I realise that now. Too late, perhaps..." "Do you still love him?" Rob questioned you further, "Y-Yes. I do." and placed a hand on your shoulder. "Then you should tell him." "I-I don't know, I... Excuse me." You fled into your office, closing the door behind yourself. All the suppressed feelings coming back at you; crashing down on you like warm summer rain. It was overwhelming. But could you do it? Could you go back to him?

Unbeknownst to you, Loki had heard everything. Dressed up as an electrician on his daily undercover mission. His heart beat violently against his ribcage; yearning and crying out for you. It broke him to see you so broken - but it also made him unbelievably happy, because he knew now, that you were struggling just as much as he was. That you had worn a mask all the time and just pretended to be perfectly fine. It was the sign for him to finally make his move and get you back. Back into his arms, where you belonged.

It was Saturday evening, when Loki put the plan he made into action. He showered; then dressed up in your favourite suit of his. It was a black one. Black shoes, black trousers and black shirt. He rolled up the sleeves and left a few buttons undone - just how you liked. He applied a bit of the cologne you enjoyed to smell on him so much; and left his untamed raven curls hang loosely over his shoulders. Loki looked at himself in the full-length mirror; eyes travelling down his body. Perfect, he thought; smiling. Grabbing the bouquet of red roses on his dining table, he left his apartment and went straight to yours. To his luck, you lived in the Avengers tower as well. Benefit of being Ms. Romanoff's best friend.

Taking a deep breath, the god knocked gently on your door. The answer he received was a frustrated sigh. "Naaat, I told you I'm not in the mood tonight to go-" You had literally ripped the door open - and were now standing open-mouthed, with a bathrobe and tousled hair in front of your ex-boyfriend. You swallowed. There he stood… Your drop-dead gorgeous ex-boyfriend. "L-Loki?" You stammered out; clearly not expecting something like that to happen. The god smiled at you. "Hello, darling. Apologies for the disturbance, but... I'd like to talk to you. May I come in?" Blinking and still in some kind of shock, you nodded. Stepping aside, you let him inside. "For you," he said, once you closed the door and turned to face him. He held the flowers to you; still smiling. "U-Um, t-thank you." You hesitatingly - almost shyly took the flowers from his hands. A chill was running down your spine, when his warm, big hands grazed yours. A touch you haven't felt in weeks - months, and immediately noticed you missed a lot.

Taking a deep breath, you placed them on the little shelf beside the door. "What, um, what do you want to talk about?" The god standing opposite you swallowed hard. You could see how nervous he was - a rare thing to happen. "About us." "U-Us?" He nodded, "Yes. Us." and stepped closer; slowly taking your hands in his. Loki waited for a moment to see if you weren't comfortable with him, touching you - but you let it happen, so he continued. "First of all, I'd like to apologise. For everything. For letting you fight so hard and long without me realising. For not opening up to you like I should have, because you are right. If I don't learn to talk to the person I trust and love most in all the nine realms, then my past and all my insecurities are going to eat me up inside. I see that now." He was gazing directly into your eyes - and you could swear you were already drowning again inside those oceanic blue orbs. "I came to the realisation those past weeks, that I am not able to live without you. Without your love. I feel like I can't breathe when you're not near me. Your absence suffocates me. I love you with all my heart and soul. You are everything I ever wanted and needed. So please... Please give us another chance. I beg of you." You just looked at him, stunned; words failing you. "

"This is what my heart tells me," he continued, squeezing your hands gently. "If yours doesn't speak the same language anymore, then please, tell me - and I'll walk out of that room." Your gaze softened. You freed one hand from his gentle grasp and lifted it up to caress his defined cheek. "Loki..." You started, shaking your head. "My heart never stopped speaking your language. Never." The god gasped at your touch and words. "Does that mean you'll give us another chance?" You smiled; nodding and stepped closer to him. So close, that you were just a few inches apart. His hand left yours; coming to rest on your waist, while your palm wandered to land on his chest. "Yes, Loki..." "Really?" He breathed; overwhelmed by your sudden closeness, and, again your words. Once more you nodded; signalling him that you meant it. "Oh, darling," Loki sighed; a few tears rolling down his cheek. He leaned down, wanted to capture your lips with his - but you stopped him; placing a finger upon his lips. "I'll give us another chance - if you promise to trust me completely and finally open up to me." His eyes met yours again; blue eyes filled with love and vulnerability. "Let me help you, my love. Let me sooth all those scars your past has left on you," you whispered and pressed a soft, slow kiss on his lips. "I promise, darling, I promise - and I'll start tonight," Loki said, placing another kiss on your lips, before he took a step back and took your hands in his bigger ones again.

"Close your eyes, please." You were confused, but did what he asked you to do; closing your eyes. Suddenly, you felt how his hands got cooler; temperature dropping. "This time, I want to go into this relationship with showing you all of me. I want you to see me." You frowned, but kept your eyes closed. "And I don't mean me, being naked. You saw that quite often already." You couldn't help but giggle at his words; blushing. Loki smiled. Something you weren't able to see at the moment. "Well... If you put it that way, I am naked in front of you now nevertheless. Showing you my true self. The way I was born." You gasped; breath hitching in your throat. Now you knew what he was talking about. "Your Jotun form? You... You want to show me your Jotun form?" He never did before. It was a huge part of his insecurities. "Yes, my love. Open your eyes." "L-Lokes, you don't have to show me your Jotun form right away! I know how difficult this is for you! I know how uncomfortable it makes you sometimes!"

He took a deep breath; was on the verge of crying again. "I know, love, I know. And I appreciate this so, so much - but I really want to show you. If we begin again, we begin with honesty. No secrets; no hiding. Now open your eyes." "O-Okay." You were quite a bit nervous as well. You knew that this took him a lot of effort. Opening your eyes, you gasped; heart skipping a beat. His deep blue eyes were replaced by shimmering ruby ones. His alabaster coloured skin had turned into a soft blue. Unique ridges and patterns adorned every inch of his tall, strong body. "Are you afraid?" Loki's shaky voice cut through the silence then. You shook your head immediately. "No, gods, no! You're beautiful, Loki. Stunning, breathtakingly beautiful." His eyes widened; pure relief flooding his veins. "R-Really? You... You think so?" You nodded; cupping his cheeks. "Yes. And it's finally time for you to accept this side of you," you said, pulling Loki gently over to your bed.

#loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki x female reader #loki x you #tom hiddleston x reader #loki fanfiction #loki x y/n #loki #loki laufeyson x reader

[inaconstantstateofchange]

Halsin's Master: Tahlel Dwin'ddaren

An introduction to the original character I've created to fill in the gaps left in canon, based on a few pieces of information extrapolated from canon sources and outlined in my post here.

Tahlel was First Druid of the Emerald Grove for many years and led it with a wealth of social acumen at his command. A quintessential Silvanite, he worked to ensure his reputation was one of easygoing congeniality, and that that was the impression of him and his grove at the forefront of anyone's mind, rather than any of the subtler actions he may have taken to act in nature's defense.

His favored weapon was his glaive, which he used in concert with his masterful spellwork, making him a force to be reckoned with in any battle. His favored Wild Shape was that of a hawk, and he was a firm proponent of the power of flight to clear one's mind and offer new perspective. (He remained – very privately – befuddled all his days that any with the ability to do so would choose any other form.)

A dedicated gossip – although he would describe this more so as "having a successful information structure" – he had an entire network of birds that would bring him choice tidbits they had observed or heard from others of their kind, in exchange for simple favors. Whenever possible, he took pains to hold the source of his knowledge – and the full extent of it – close to his chest.

I'll be sharing more about him in the future – in fact, good luck getting me to shut up about him – but for now, I'll close with a snippet from a WIP of mine that hopefully illuminates some facets of his relationship with Halsin specifically:

“Oh, nai’ith. What a journey you’ve had.” Halsin swiped weakly at the calloused hand petting his hair, dexterously picking apart tangled strands as it moved along the line of his skull. He grumbled a protest, the sound catching slightly in his throat. “Not nai’ith - it’s Halsin.” The stroking didn’t pause, even as he heard Tahlel’s characteristic hum, and knew from long experience the far-off look that would be in his eyes as he thought. After but a moment came his response, slow and measured. “So you are, and none could argue.”  A flash of his usual sly humor lit the air around them as he tugged at one strand of Halsin’s hair, playful but gentle, undemanding. “I hope you might yet permit me the occasional indulgence. After all, you will always be a sapling to me.” Halsin felt an answering glimmer of humor warm his own chest. “You’re just saying that because you don’t like that I’m taller than you now. But was it not you yourself who taught me one ‘oughtn’t ignore nature’s bounty simply because it did not delight’?” Tahlel’s squawk echoed dully against the rocks around them, and Halsin’s shoulders shook faintly with his muffled laughter. Silvanus, how he had missed this.

#voidling speaks #bg3 #halsin #bg3 halsin #my ocs #oc: tahlel #tahlel dwin'ddaren #bg3 fic #my writing #meta #my meta

[worriedvision]

The married life - Alhaitham

This takes place in a universe where it’s in genshin, but Alhaitham’s a CEO instead of a scribe. Gender neutral reader, this will have many parts. angst, initially only the reader has feelings for Alhaitham (this is not reciprocated).

--

You were in a secret relationship with Alhaitham, a good friend of yours. Neither of you wanted things to be public, and for a good while this worked out fine. To the public eye, you two were merely friends. Nothing special, no spark, and you worked together solely as business partners. 

Behind closed doors? You two were never really that intimate. You always loved him, you were ashamed to admit considering he didn’t seem to return this sentiment. The most you got from him was him allowing you to hug him, and even then it was rather rare. The moments you did hug him, however, more than made up for this. You didn’t know if it was your mind playing games, but it was like you could feel him returning your feelings. Of course, he never confirmed or denied this so you didn’t dare make another more.

Alhaitham never showed an interest in meeting other people. In fact, more often than not he always hated the mandatory meetings he had to go along to. The businessmen that only thought of instant profit as opposed to a better overall plan for their success in the future and the odd person trying to hit on him.

His roommate couldn’t help but laugh at his misery when he rambled about these problems of his. The man had a lot of people to choose from, why not just go out and find someone? Well, Kaveh knew Alhaitham wasn’t one for getting to know people better, and he also understood that given his prestige he wouldn’t be able to trust that the person wouldn’t be with him for purely monetary reasons. 

However, Alhaitham was very close with you. Behind closed doors, that was. Alhaitham cuddled up with you, something Kaveh didn’t think was possible for him. Kaveh was surprised that someone like you was happy with ignoring your obvious feelings for your dear friend in public, and he didn’t understand exactly why Alhaitham was so awkward. He vividly remembers one conversation you had in Alhaithams house, Kaveh in his room eavesdropping and hearing you both talking.

“Alhaitham, can I tell you something?” You ask, Alhaitham nodding as he sits across from you. “I think you’re a very attractive man.” You begin, clearly building up the courage to confess you love him. Kaveh slowly opens the door, watching as he decides to see what was happening. You were looking down at your hands, trying to figure out the words you wished to say. His heart ached to see you so vulnerable, and he rooted for you to act on these feelings one day.

Unfortunately, that day was not the day.

“I know.” Alhaitham states matter-of-factly. He didn’t even bother looking up at you, turning the page in his book as he took a sip of his tea. You, on the other hand, widened your eyes in surprise that he cut off your confession to him. 

“Oh, good.” You trail off, shocked at the reply. You weren’t fishing for a compliment or anything, but he didn’t even try to be humble about it.  You clear your throat, rubbing the back of your neck as you look away uncomfortably as Alhaitham continued reading his book.

“You could always wear a simple wedding band.” Kaveh states. 

“I fail to see the argument for that.” Alhaitham responds, looking right at his annoying roommate. “I do not have a partner, and even if I did I would have to demonstrate who I was married to for that plan to work, no?”

“Well...I have got an idea.” Kaveh starts, Alhaitham rolling his eyes before listening to him. “You are awfully close to _, right? Surely you could give them a ring, one that has, say... diamonds and emeralds?”

“You must be joking.” Alhaitham spits out, Kaveh shaking his head no.

“Emeralds suit your vision, and diamonds compliment the emerald. Gold would be a good base for the ring. Oh, and I would recommend a statement emerald that cannot be ignored.” Kaveh goes all out. He doesn’t know if Alhaitham will agree with him, but he was doing this for the sake of seeing how far he would go for you.

“I would only like a simple wedding band for myself.” Alhaitham hums out in thought. “However...I could get an extravagant ring for _... as long as they are alright with wearing such a piece.” 

“For you? I’m sure they’d wear anything.” Kaveh states. 

“What do you mean by that?” Alhaitham asks, raising a brow.

“I’ll let you figure that one out. Regardless, the choice is yours.” Kaveh rounds off, standing up. “You could always put out a statement describing your discomfort with so many people being interested in you.”

--

You were worried to say the least when Alhaitham told you to come over, stating it was an emergency. You were fearful his business had gone bankrupt, perhaps someone screwed him over? All that was on your mind was comforting your friend and long time crush, so you got his favourite wine and some binge foods before heading over.

You knock on the door, Alhaitham opening it with a relaxed look. 

“I came as soon as I got the letter.” You explain, placing the wine and food down on the nearest table before turning to face Alhaitham. You see him kneeling down, and you assume he’s tying his shoes. Rather odd, given he didn’t have any shoelaces on his footwear. “What can I help you with tonight?” 

Alhaitham stands up, pulling out a small box as he faces you. He opens the box, revealing a beautiful ring. As Kaveh suggested, it was a statement ring that embodied what you saw in Alhaitham.

“I want you to act as my spouse.” Alhaitham begins, once again factually. “I won’t ask for any paperwork to be filled in. You will wear this ring, if you agree to do so, and I will wear this wedding band. This does not mean we can become public, neither of us are ready for this yet.”

This was what a proposal should not have been. No feelings involved, no love, and you still had to hold back from cuddling him. You hadn’t even kissed him once, and you felt like you were only going to cause harm for yourself if you agreed to this. It was clear that he was simply fed up with the constant pick up lines and people asking him out on a date. You were somewhat glad he thought you would be the best candidate for being his fake spouse, but your chest hurt with the yearning for this to be a real thing.

Kaveh had been watching around the corner, and he felt similar sentiments. You deserved someone who loves you, someone who didn’t treat you like a business transaction. He knew you were clinging onto the hope that this could possibly become a public relationship where Alhaitham would be happy to be known as your partner, but he didn’t get any indication from Alhaitham that any of this was real. You always initiated the cuddling, Alhaitham seemed strange every time he agreed to these cuddles.

“This ring, it’s beautiful.” You gasp, stopping yourself from adding in ‘just like you’. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? This must be pricey, surely?”

“Consider it part of the agreement.” Alhaitham brushes off.  You glance over at the wine, suddenly feeling like you needed to drink it in one go by yourself instead of giving the drink to Alhaitham. the word ‘agreement’ certainly told you that Alhaitham didn’t feel anything for you at this point, and you had known him for too long for this to magically change. One last look at the ring, and you tell yourself to pretend you’re happy with the situation.

“...Very well.” You nod, slowly seeing the ring now resting on your ring finger. “I accept.”

#gender neutral reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x gender neutral reader #alhaitham #kaveh #angst #genshin impact #genshin impact imagines

[raspberrilady]

White Roses || William James Moriarty x Reader

a/n: Finally, here, a fic written with my friend as my hypewoman on this William piece, and me being a cheerleader on her Scaramouche fic. Ask her kindly and maaaybe she will translate a thing.

Word count: around 16,000 words divided into a prologue, 9 chapters and an epilogue. You might consider reading it on AO3

Treat this piece as an embodiment of my brianriot that was a sole thought of wanting to see a William with a soft, kind and a bit naïve lady. She will have her character development throughout the story, though. I just wanted some longer angst-fluff fic and it’s a bit dumb and silly and not that majestically written.

Warnings: Female reader, mentions of Christianity, too many scenes involving tea, not that good word choices. Translation isn’t my thing. Angst, fluff and suggestive fic.

Mary Hale isn't sure if she wants to wake her roommate up.

In her eyes, you look terrible and won't be able to get yourself presentable in the next ten minutes, when the next lesson will start. Your hair is tangled, your sleeping face bears a strange expression, and the bags under your eyes are dark. A book with an emerald cover loosely clasped in your hands betrays what [Name] [Surname] was doing all night.

For that, you blame all writers whose passionate, engaging novels keep you awake at abnormal hours. Late nights are the only quiet time in the dormitory. It's soundless enough to keep you focused and dark enough to finely hide dark blushes on your face in case your roommate woke up. She would still scold you for using the lamp, and the mood would be ruined, so you always keep the light low.

Mary Hale rolls her eyes and decides to leave you be. Either way, she doesn't know you well enough to care that much, even if you've shared a room for half a year. She spends her time perfecting her art of flirting outside the dormitory, and you... Well, she guesses you read a lot and don't mind showing up to class unprepared.

She couldn't be so careless in her appearance as you as she doesn't plan to waste her time on books much longer. She will find a wealthy lover and never lift a finger again to work, let herself sink in tons of compliments and be adored by the man of her life. That is her dream, which she devotes herself to.

She leaves the room almost without slamming the door.

Mary has no intention of being late for class. Math isn't that much important as the young professor who is an exceptional candidate for her lover. The thought of a forbidden, somewhat indecent relationship curves the corners of her mouth into a mirthful grin.

Huh. And she is surprised that this kind of thing is preventing you from sleeping, even if only on paper.

Chapter I

You are late.

William James Moriarty notes the attendance with a quick glance as he enters the room. Several seats remain empty: you and another student, who always sits in the first row—August Hearst—are missing. He also notices two unfamiliar ladies, unenrolled students who showed a sudden interest in trigonometry after seeing William. Amazing.

He puts on a gentle professor's smile, closing the door behind him and its hinges click quietly.

„Good morning. I welcome you all to the next class,” he says, standing in the middle of the room. Everyone raises and responds to his greeting. “Before we move on to the next subject, please take a look at your exams and my commentary on them. If you have any inquiries, don't hesitate to ask me. Unfortunately, two people did not pass and-”

The door creaks loudly, although you've been careful when opening it. You slip into the room and with a hasty “I'm sorry...” take your seat.

“...And that is why they will have to attend supplementary classes to catch up. This test was difficult, but I assure each of you that the knowledge you’ll gain after it will be useful in the future.”

He takes the corrected exams. His shoes clatter against a wooden floor as he hands in the exams one by one, congratulating successful students and giving knowing looks to those that don’t have math as their forte.

“Miss [Name],” his soothing tone doesn't sound threatening, yet the shiver runs down your spine. He places a test in front of you, and you notice how your calculations on the first page are almost completely crossed out. “I am inclined to suspect that the day you wrote your test was not your finest moment. Most of the data had already been misspelt in the first lines. Could it be that something was distracting you?”

You look at him with surprise and shake your head vigorously. Professor Moriarty most likely knows that he is (not only) your biggest distraction, especially since in (not only) your eyes he is perfect. Pulled straight out of a novella. Romantic one, probably. You could point which book.

Not that you are absurdly bad at all these calculations and logical thinking. But one could mess this badly only if there was something else involved, like immunity to handsome men.

And yet he plays ignorant and thus makes you even more nervous.

It isn't easy to look for an excuse. After all, you can't really say 'Hiring a handsome, young teacher as a maths was a fatal mistake by the university' or something along these lines.

“I've been having trouble sleeping lately...” Your confession is half-hearted, as you stare stubbornly at the test result which almost makes you tear up.

“Oh? Well, I can't argue that a good novel might keep one awake better than a math book,” he says with a benevolence that makes you even more embarrassed, and you blush. “Perhaps a tea of St John's wort or chamomile will be able to help you.”

You gently turn toward him and nod shyly. He smiles and ends up handing out tests. Then, he goes back to the blackboard and writes down the few formulas that caused the most problems.

Seeing how trivial your mistakes were, you start to question why you are here. Well, you somehow like the classes and your parents wanted you to take up a chance and study. And, of course, William teaches here, but it must've math, that you can't understand at all.

You sigh. How unromantic.

***

For the rest of the lecture, you've been sitting quietly, jotting down the most crucial things. Or you've tried to, as your notes started to fill up with mindless scribbles next to some formulas. You are relieved to get up from your seat when the class’s time is up.

You move towards the door along with the other classmates when you hear your name called.

“Miss [Surname]!” You don't need to turn around to realize that the voice belongs to Professor William. Even that bad mark on your exam didn't make you resent him out of spite, you notice with another beat of your heart as you approach him.

“Yes...?”

“I would like to remind you once more about the supplementary classes,” he says calmly, observing your reaction. He could point to the anxiety in your slightly widened eyes and a stab of frustration in the way your lips twitched slightly. William smiled and was mindful that it is time to change the topic. “Apropos, Miss [Surname], I have heard that the second volume of the 'Taste of Enchantment' has appeared in our library.”

Now William watches as a surprise takes over your body as the bashful redness start to spread on your face, he considers this state better than your silent puffing and pouting.

…

How does he know about this book?

'Taste of Enchantment' is an average romance with an awkward title. The protagonist is a dull lady, but not in a way you could describe yourself, as she was too perfect. You would drop the book by the first three chapters if not for the main character’s significant other, who, as you’ve decided, quite resembles William.

“How did you know I read the first volume?” You ask with an uncertain, polite smile.

William hums lightly. “I happen to be very interested in the literature my students read. I noticed you recently with the book, so I decided to try it myself.”

...That is mortifying. You know so many books and your lecturer had to caught you reading this mediocre crap. The ending of the first volume may have been quite good, you admit it yourself, but overall it was...

…Yeah, mediocre crap is an adequate way to describe it.

“If I had known, I would have had in hand a more interesting novel than this one...,” you chuckle to shake off the awkward feeling and lower your gaze on your watch. There is still some time to eat breakfast. You did a slight curtsey. “Excuse me, professor, but I will be going now. Thank you for your time.”

“Of course, miss [Surname]. I hope to see you in the supplementary classes,” you nod, already resigned to your fate, and he smiles as you take your leave. It sweetens the fact you will have even more limited free time.

If he had stopped you, he would see a scarlet blush covering your cheeks before you got out of the room. Your throat is dry, and any further words would have died on your tongue.

Almost with relief, you leave William's classroom.

'Taste of Enchantment'...

The blush again douses your face, and you close your eyes while rebuking yourself quietly. You couldn’t believe that a crappy romance book that would rather suit a somewhat-read teenager would make your heart beat fast and not because of the frustrating plot.

And you wanted to be a model student, [Name]?

Chapter II

Never before in your life have you been so nervous yet excited for a lesson to start.

Even though you are theoretically here as punishment for not studying enough math or just not being talented enough to master it effortlessly, it is hard to get the nervous smile off your face. You try to not let your fluster show, tightening your fingers on the covers of your books.

With your free hand, you reach for a door.

The class is almost empty and the sight of it reminds you of a lively marked suddenly going vacant. It’s unusual and leaves a nostalgic feeling behind.

“Welcome back, Miss [Name],” William's velvety voice greets you as soon as you walk through the door, and the world around seemed to dim in his presence. “I'm glad you found time for me.”

“O... of course,” you reply hazily, sitting down by the desk that is closer to the blackboard than your usual seat. You don’t want to look impolite, would you take a sit that far away, when there are only two people in the class...

...Or rather, there should have been two people, because the second student—another failure in terms of math—hasn't arrived yet.

“Ah,” William notices your unspoken question. “You are currently the first one to arrive. The most punctual. I'll admit I have no idea whether Mr Hearst will join us. There are three minutes left before the scheduled time... But,” the smile he gives you is charming enough, you can't focus on his words, “we will somehow manage together either way, won't we, Miss [Name]?”

You smile shyly, only nodding in response. You don't like how you can't do anything about your slightly flushed cheeks. Math, math, math. You came here to learn math. Not for your handsome teacher.

You can't let yourself romanticize the situation and face the cruel reality you’re failing your classes.

You spread your books out on the desk. Once you're holding a pen in your hand, William sighs softly and begins explaining everything about trigonometry from scratch. He asks you questions, and you can feel the attention on you, which you both don't want and... somehow, makes you happy.

You solve a few tasks under his watchful eye and encouraging smile. They are easier than what was on the test, but Williams tries to convince you that the solutions are to be crafted with the same scheme.

You are absorbed with the paper in front of you, occasionally biting your lip.

While you’re absorbed with the paper in front of you, William observes watchfully the changes in your expression: from a bit of confusion to concentration and then a smile of satisfaction and surprise as you write down the answer. He approaches you and leans over to take a look at what you have written.

Your tense by the light feeling of his warm breath. He’s so close. You can discern the light smell of roses. Is this cologne?

If anyone else were in his shoes, you would be terrified by this proximity. Now, somehow, you aren't.

“Mhm, both first exercises are correct, but in the third, you have used the wrong formula.” He hums right next to your ear. His voice is quiet, almost coming out as a whisper.

You press your lips together in a narrow line as your cheeks become even redder. You mutter something under your breath, correcting the data. You don't dare to look at him, because your heart’s beat fastened and you don’t want it to jump out of your chest or stop.

…How delightful.

“Professor Moriarty...?” You whisper, drawing his attention back to you from his wandering thoughts.

“Forgive me Miss [Na-]” SHHHHHHHHHHH!! His apology is interrupted by the creak of the door opening. William straightens up and turns around. At the threshold stand two—...two?—late students; Mary, your roommate, and a boy whose locks of chestnut-coloured hair you've been seeing in class around five rows in front of you.

“I'm sorry for being late!” Mary Hale giggles cutely through her apology. She notices William and she smiles charmingly in his direction. She hadn't been invited to extra classes—but who would have a good reason to deny an eager student extra maths lessons?

Still, even as your beloved professor gracefully moves away from your desk, you can smell his cologne. You shift your gaze to the newcomers, distracting yourself from the scent of roses.

Mary greets the professor who answers her with the same courtesy. The man who you barely knew from the classes, hesitantly takes a seat next to you, bowing his head slightly in silent “good morning”.

You smile timidly in return.

“Of course, professor!” The melodic voice of Mary steals your attention once again. You glance again at the... pair that looks very good on each other sides. It pains you how the golden locks of Mary's hair give her a princess look, that matches William's gentlemanly appearance.

…Hm. They look like the main couple from the “Taste of Enchantment”, and you can't help but pout with dissatisfaction.

...Well, either way, William seems to like you a bit more than her! Probably. You guess. You hoped so. Maybe you are seeing whatever you want to see, and want to cheer yourself up, but... You don't know what you would do if you stopped using your imagination.

The warmth on your previously red cheeks suddenly seems to prickle, just as ice dabbed on your skin.

Mary is more... more than you. You can't put your finger on the source of her charm, but you suspect that her big blue eyes, almond-shaped face and feminine curves have something to do with it. Her voice is always layered with honey, and even sweeter words can turn any man into her lover. Hm... Well, maybe you can tell why was she popular, but that doesn't make you any happier.

How can William not resist this charm? His aura that spellbinds people is as strong as hers, and the effects are well-known throughout the academy.

…

You don’t notice the glaze of tears that forms over your eyes before a gentle nudge snaps you out of your reverie.

Someone's hand is extended discreetly towards you with a flower-embroidered handkerchief between their fingers. The consoling gaze of your desk companion is the only thing that stops you from bursting into tears. You really can't understand how can you be so oversensitive about the scenario going over in your head.

“Everything will be alright,” you hear the warm voice of a stranger. “...The very fact that you are still trying to understand math, means that you are a very strong woman.”

You take the handkerchief and wipe away the traces of traces. “...Thank you.” With a gesture, your companion signals you can keep the piece of this beautiful material to yourself. You nod your head in another thank you. “We're both strong, even if our grades say otherwise.”

He laughs heartily. “And that is very good thinking, dear lady!”

“Miss [Name], Mr Hearst,” the two of you look at your professor who must have finished talking with Mary. At William's heavy gaze, Mr Hearst moves away to give a decent distance between you. “Let me start the class properly, please. I will write out some formulas and instructions on the board for you. Try to solve them and bring me your calculations tomorrow. And now, going to the further topic...”

You can feel your eyes on yourself more often than normally. You catch William's gaze lingering on you. Your heart is beating loudly, but not in a joyful rhythm. It was something between a melody of uncertainty and melancholy, that doesn't allow you to raise your gaze. No, you can't do that without hope that helped you today to get up at an absurdly early hour... Absurdly early hour for you, 8 am.

…

You are aware of your jealousy. Comparing William and Mary to the characters from your new favourite book completely ruined your mood, but it was only your fault. You should stop overthinking and get a grip.

You finish the lesson by noting down the formulas. It is hard to do it correctly, because you've been avoiding looking at William, and the fact that he is constantly standing next to the blackboard doesn't help. 

The chime of a bell at the end of class sounds angelic.

You cram all your belongings—two books, a fountain pen and a notebook with some pages unintentionally crumpled—into your bag and hurry to the exit. You arrive at the door frame so quickly, that Mary and Mr Hearst have only raised from their seats, and you even have the nerve to pretend that you don't hear your name called. 

You open the door and, although no one can say that you are running, your every step is an escape from a certain professor and his classroom. You should keep your joy in books and distancing yourself from Mr Moriarty is the first step to achieving that.

…

Your room. Only now, as you're sitting down on your bed, you begin to analyse your behaviour. You can feel your heart pounding hard, and not just because of your “run”.

Your eyes tear up over again at the memory of your last lecture, and you sink back onto your pillows.

“It's so foolish,” you think. You can't understand why the sight of Mary standing next to William had put you so off balance. Was it because of your naive enchantment? Or was it simply your imagination putting the two of them in the place of characters from a popular novella?

You’re being unfair to Mary right now. The guilt will eat you fully if you ever begin to be rude to her just because of your unfulfilled fantasy. You groan, burying your face in a cushion. 

Just as you were about to buy the new volume of “Taste of Enchantment” not so long ago, all you want now is to burn every copy of the book that makes you go through a mental breakdown.

...No, even this book, no matter how cheesy, doesn't deserve that.

Someone knocks on the door. The sudden sound makes you tense up, but you get up after the second knock. With a hasty movement, you wipe your watery eyes and adjust the folds of your dress.

“I... I'm coming,” you mutter, praying that your voice won't falter. Before reaching the door, you glance at your reflection in the mirror and bite your lip at the sight of reddened eyes and cheeks, and you believe you make a sad sight.

After opening the door, the person in front of you surprises you: Mr Hearts, the kind soul who had spent the last moments of class with you. He’s not too tall a young man with dark hair and a gentle face. His cheeks look smooth and squeezable and are slightly flushed, maybe from the embarrassment that comes from the indecency of a man visiting a woman’s room alone. 

His laugh is a little awkward as he holds up the loose sheets of paper he has brought with him. “I sincerely apologize for the disturbance, Miss [Name], but... You left some of your notes behind, after leaving so quickly and... They might be important.”

You press your lips into a timid smile. A new wave of embarrassment washes over you at the memory of your behaviour. You feel stupid, knowing that this man took his time to find your room and return your notes, because of… you.

“Oh... Thank you kindly,” you smile shyly, taking the papers from his hands. “Would you like to come in for something to drink?” You invite him uncertainly and move away from the door, but Mr Hearts stops you. 

“There is no need, but I appreciate the offer. I came here unannounced, and I believe you might need some space today,” the student smiles a little more confidently, and you notice how charming he looks with such an expression. He must be popular with women.

“Then please let me repay you with a cup of tea someday,” you say. “I feel indebted to you.”

He chuckles. “Alright, lovely comrade in arms of trigonometry.”

“…That’s a long nickname.”

“Then, is ‘lovely comrade’ alright?” He offers, but he isn’t suave in these kinds of talks and you know his throat is going dry. You know the pain of this fellow introvert.

“…My name is enough.”

“Just your name?”

You huff at the way he squints his eyes and burst out in a friendly chuckle. “If you insist.”

“In that case, I would like to be called by just a name too. I’m August Hearst.”

“Thank you, Mr August. Oh, and since you are here...” You open one of the drawers and take out a white handkerchief which roses you have embroidered by hand. “I would like you to keep it... As in exchange for your support in class and your handkerchief.”

You hand him the handkerchief and have to push it aggressively into his hands before he finally accepts it.

Chapter III

August Hearst is a delightful gentleman.

You come to this conclusion in the next several days filled with shared classes. He's been taking the seat next to you whenever possible, greeted you every day with an amiable word and even a kinder smile, and tried to accompany you at each dinner.

Your dream of William Moriarty and the secret romance have been slowly distancing itself, when you were with August. Now you know that all the things that happened in your head were... too surreal to come to this reality. Out of your reach.

If you've learned anything from your romance books, it would be the obligation to back out in the name of others' happiness. And the main character in this story might be Mary.

You smile unconvincingly to yourself.

“[Name],” your attention returns to August again, who just finished tucking his books into his bag and is ready to go. He puts apologies in his mouth when he informs you that he isn't able to walk you back to the dorm today. “I'm sorry about that, [Name], but I promised someone...”

“Have no worry, August,” you interrupt him gently, getting up from your seat. You walked through the oaken door of the literature hall, where, for the last hour and a half, thirty students experienced the torment of detailed interpretation of ancient texts. No one knew there why have they chosen this subject to have scheduled obligatory amount of hours. You squeeze the textbooks closer to your chest. “I was going to excuse myself as well and check something in a library...”

Your companion gives you a nod and visible relief brightens his face. “You take the weight off my heart”.

The farewells exchanged, Mr Hearst disappears with his acquaintances from your sight, and you step into a wide, empty corridor, whose marble ornaments reflect late sunlight and some candles spaced around the way.

It isn't a rare sight—after evening classes it isn’t easy to find any students, who would still want to be in the building after a dozen (or so) hours of focused learning.

You are not here to learn more though. You are walking to get to your favourite entertainment, the world of fictional romance. The books are expensive, and getting your hands on many of them by the privilege of being a student here is something of your guilty pleasure, you wouldn't admit to Mr Hearst. 

You won't tell him right away, no. You don’t want him to see how almost the only genre you read is romance. If he finds out, he might think you have too rigoristic standards and that isn't true (or, you hope so). It certainly wouldn't encourage him to make a move if he is interested in you...

…

...Is he interested in you?

…

The library, as you expected, is empty.

You relax immediately. In front of you stand many bookcases filled with stories that only waited for someone who will get enchanted by a pretty cover and gorgeously scribbled titles. Your hands ache to get themselves to work and find another masterpiece.

You keep a slow pace as you walk between racks and read the catchy titles. Sometimes you take a book from its place to leaf through pages, guessing if it's interesting enough to take it back to your dorm by the lines that catch your eye.

Your eyes dart upwards and you find yourself staring at your favourite series and its newest volume, whose charm probably wouldn't understand even your favourite Mr Hearst.

The book you’ve been looking for stands maliciously high.

You don't know what kind of devil was climbing these shelves, but he had a ladder and set another volume higher than your hands could reach. The entire weight of your body falls on the toes of your feet, on which you stand to be taller, closer. It's not enough to reach the shelf. 

Yet you manage to get it. 

You feel a passive touch on your back, but your attention is sabotaged by a hand above you that grabs the book. You turn around quickly, and the rack next to you helps you to remain balanced.

“Is everything alright, miss [Name]?” Asks a familiar voice of the texture of honey and chocolate. “I thought you might need a helping hand.”

Professor William James Moriarty.

Your eyes met with the shiny crimson of your professor. It's your favourite shade of red, but you can't help but think that they are a bit darker than you remember as if they're covered with a cloud of smoke or heavy emotions.

The book is still in his hands when you greet him.

“Professor Moriarty, good evening...!” You say, your curtsy bow looks and feels stiffer than you would want it to. 

“I wasn't expecting anyone here at this hour,” he admits, smiling gently. He looks around the library. “Is Mr Hearst not with you?”

You shake your head. “No,” and add curiously: “Shall I go find him?”

“It won't be necessary. It's nothing urgent,” William assures you, taking a step back from you. The light rose aroma doesn’t leave you though. Was he that close to you if you could recognize such a delicate scent? “To say the truth, I am a little jealous.”

You get choked by a surprise.

“Je... Jealous? You, professor?” And another unsaid question: “Why?”

William's polite laugh rings in your ears.

“Of course. Miss [Name], it's very inappropriate for me to tell this to such a charismatic person as yourself, but I feel a bit lonely, if I dare to say, without your attention in my classes.”

“Ah,” I should've paid more attention to the classes... Are my grades that bad? “I'm sorry. I will focus more on my studies.”

“Let me rephrase this,” he corrects himself immediately as if he could find the doubts just by looking at you. “I would like to request your valued company more often. I found myself dissatisfied we couldn't find time to share a discussion on literature. And there comes an invitation: would you care to join me for a cup of tea if you could spare me an hour of your time?”

You gape at him.

What??

You can feel your body growing warmer and slowly breaking down, like an overheated machine. Your legs are going to give out, even though you want to fly with the butterflies in your stomach. That feeling has taken your ability to say even one word, so you just nod, hoping that this motion will express all of your excitement in a very polite manner.

William gets closer to you. He stands close enough to cover up your whole vision.

You think about moving away, but the back of your shoe is already touching the bookcase behind and your shoulders almost lean on the wall of books. William's hand reaches for the book next to your head, closing you in a half-embrace that limits your movements and the will to escape.

You can still turn around. Or start to scream if you want to get out of here. But...

William cups your cheek and tilts your head enough to have you looking into his eyes. You could see him clearly and be well aware of his gaze that wanders on your face with delight and some kind of excitement, although he keeps the gentleman's shtick that is always expected from every nobleman or professor.

But your observing time has ended, as you feel something on your lips.

The cover of the volume you were trying to reach before is pressed to your mouth. William is still looking at you with warmth, but he's... closer. You can't see his face anymore, mostly hidden by the book.

Your lips are being separated only by the cover and two hundred sheets of paper.

You hear a whisper against the other side of the book that you can’t catch the words, but it’s meaningless—you cannot focus on the same voice you have listened to for hours, relishing the opportunity to get to know such a wonderful voice.

You feel the cover pressed against your lips stay there for a moment, and then encounter the disappointment that William has moved away from you, although he still holds all of your attention.

...A kiss? Was it an indirect kiss? Was it just your illusion, a daydream, even though the untouchable evidence indicates otherwise? Are you going crazy?

You no longer have any perception in your fingers as William gently places the volume in your hands. With a kiss planted on the back of your hand, he bids you farewell. "I wish you a wonderful night, Miss [Name]. Enjoy your reading,” with a smile he leaves the library.

It is long after sunset.

You arrive at your room with a foggy mind.

You don’t open the book, which you set down carefully on the bedside table, although every glance you cast at it makes you shudder.

After two hours you fall asleep. Mary hasn't returned to her room for the night.

...

You wake up abruptly, finding the alarm clock ringing too loud.

Your cheeks burn red as you look around the room and glance at the book next to the bed, feeling your face heat up even more.

You walk briskly to the bathroom to get ready for today's class. You cast a glance at your roommate's bedspread. It is in the same condition as yesterday—a black dress and an ironed shirt lie on a tidy beige bed. The history textbook doesn't seem to have been touched and the box of new slippers Mary had been excited about recently hasn't even been opened.

“She didn't come back for the night...?” It is nothing new, yet for some reason, you feel a pang of uneasiness. You shake your head. She probably fell asleep at someone’s else house. Nevertheless, it’s painful to wake up alone in the room you should be sharing with someone else.

You glance at a book and put a hand on its cover. Somehow, the hope pours into you like a warm honey.

…

“You seem to be in a good mood today, [Name],” Mr Hearst smiles at you, sitting opposite you with his plate of food.

“Is that so? I just feel… lucky today.”

“I wish I had your happiness today. Give me some, please.”

“It’s mine,” you laugh, and he squints his eyes at you in a playful annoyance. His smile looks a little strained, so you decide to ask. “Well then, is something wrong?”

He looks as if he wants to count his misfortunes on his fingers but bites his tongue and sighs. “It’s nothing that critical,” and you imagine another idea came to his mind, but before he says it, Professor William comes to your table.

“I apologize for the interruption,” he says in a worried voice that suggests that something is wrong, “but could I have a word with Miss [Name]? It's an urgent matter.”

“Is something wrong, Professor...?” You throw an apologetic glance at August and move away from the table. Could it be that he wanted to bring up the subject of the previous meeting...? Well, you have agreed to have tea together, but in your spirit, you hope he won't ask for it yet. You wanted to prepare for it... Mentally. Perhaps even arrange a few false scenarios in your head, just in case, as it sometimes enhances your courage.

However, it is not what William had in mind.

“Have you seen Miss Hale? She didn't turn up for our last class, although she promised me personally that she would.”

“Mary...?” You ponder, and the sting of uneasiness from the morning returns to poke your heart. “She didn't come back last night... Maybe she stayed with, um, her friends, but I haven't spoken to her. We've been passing each other a lot lately...”

Within another hour you land in William James Moriarty's temporary office, nervously clutching your skirt and stewing in an atmosphere of concern.

Mary has disappeared.

You don’t yet know if something was going on with her, but the general confusion has sensitised your nerves.

“Here, tea,” a cup of Earl Grey appeared in your hand. It warms your hands. “How are you feeling?”

You take a sip of tea, which is a bit too hot, and gaze into space expectantly. Politeness and etiquette require you to say ‘alright’, but you couldn't think of anything of anything other than your housemate.

You start to regret not talking to her more before as you would have a better idea of what places she goes to.

“Truly...” Your voice cracks. “Truly, no one knows what happened to Mary? She... She was still in class yesterday after all! She was asking me for notes for a test, and.... and now nobody knows where she is.”

William shakes his head and takes the cup from your hands before your grip loosens. He stands at the side of the sofa you are sitting on and leans towards you.

“I won’t make empty promises that everything will be alright,” he says, not taking his eyes off yours, “but you must believe that I will do everything in my power to get Miss Hale back to the dorm in a safe condition.”

You nod gratefully but awkwardly.

“Thank you very much, Professor Moriarty.”

“There is yet another matter we need to discuss. Miss [Name], it would be very dangerous for you to be alone at a time like this. We don’t yet know the cause of Miss Hale's disappearance, so there would be no one there to help you,” you bite your lip so as not to interrupt him and tell him that Mary was not much of a help anyway, “in case of an accident....”

“Will I be moved to somewhere else, then?”

“As all the rooms are occupied and the two other female students cannot be separated either (We wouldn't want to leave either of them alone, would we? That would defeat the purpose). I made a proposal to the management, which will only be executed with your permission.”

You look at him curiously.

“A proposal?”

William smiles.

“You will move into my property... Until the matter resolves.”

CHAPTER IV

You aren’t sure how he did it, but everything has gone just the way he wanted.

Somehow, you got allowed to move to Mr Moriarty. You had never heart of management pulling a move like that—did they really put your safety above the moral principles they were so protective of?—so until you stood before his property, you weren’t fully convinced you were going to move. 

You take a deep breath, however, this doesn’t calm you down at all.

The door in front of you opens before William can reach its handle. Into them appears a man resembling your professor with the same blonde hair colour and remarkable scarlet eyes. Your gaze wanders between William and his likeness.

“This is my younger brother, Louis,” William introduced the man, clearly amused by your confusion.

His brother...!

“Pleased to meet you,” he bows slightly.

“Me too, sir...” you reply with the same curtsy.

“Allow me,” he carefully takes over your luggage. You mouth a "thank you" and he brings over the bags without much difficulty and disappears down the corridor. He is back in a minute and by the speed at which he took care of things you think he is one hell of a butler.

“Before we move on to breakfast, brother William wanted me to show you around the estate,” Louis announces, greeting you with a tray of fresh tea in his hand. You wondered if you were being treated too well here. “There's no need to worry. It will be a short trip.”

“Alright,” you nod and, after finding that the tea is not that hot, take a sip of it. A pleasant warmth hugged you from the inside. “This is such a delicious tea...”

Louis smiles because William asked him to be very kind to you.

...Although he still feels that no one is worthy of so much attention from his brother.

…

“This is a library,” the door creaks open and another wonder of the world reveals itself to your eyes. It’s much smaller than the library at the university, but it seems in spotless condition and has more novels and math books. There are maps, history books and psychological documents too. You ignore the staccato in your chest. “Miss [Name], I heard you like books.”

“Ah-!” You look at him surprised. “I do indeed love them. Did you hear about it from Professor William?”

“Yes,” he replies, and the indifference in his voice slowly begins to break. “Brother William said the books brought you closer together or so.”

Well, books were the reason why you thought about Professor Moriarty so often. He was well-read, so you had insightful chit-chats about the literature.

The scene from the library invades your brain once again. William still hasn’t confronted you about the kiss or anything. The tension that magazined in your muscles in the last few days is almost painful.

Louis grunts quietly. “You are invited to come here whenever you would like to. Brother Wi—"

“Oh, is that Miss [Name]?” Another voice interrupts Louis’ words, and a man in a grey suit seems to rise from under the ground and appear before you. Optimism, elegance and style—a lethal mix for sensitive hearts—emit in his every word and movement, and you can immediately tell that the visitor has a much more sociable life than you. “She is even more lovely than I imagined.”

“Miss [Name] This is James," Louis introduces the blond man, and he makes a curt nod.

He smiles, grasping your hand in an almost theatrical way. “At your service,” he said, winking at you. He then shifted his attention to Louis. “Are you showing her around the mansion?”

Louis nods affirmatively.

“We have only just started, but Brother William asked for a brief recce for Miss [Name].”

“I can gladly do that if you want to,” James offers. “Don't blame me, but, in my opinion, there are too many guys here. And a woman here,” for stressing the term he gets a chastising look from Louis, “is something unheard of! You have to prepare everything for our wonderful breakfast, isn't that right?”

Louis thought for a moment and sighed.

He turns to you. “Miss [Name]. Would you mind if Mr James took care of you for the next twenty minutes? I'm quite needed to prepare the meal.”

“Of course not,” You replied immediately, not wanting to be a burden to Louis, who seemed to take care of the whole household on his own. You pondered why an aristocrat and the brother of a professor decided to take on such a role.

“Lovely,” James stands right next to you, ready to make a quick round around the property. He looks at you with a glint in his eye. “So, shall we start with the garden? It would be worth introducing Fred to you and the atmosphere there is just.... muah,” he kisses his fingertips.

Louis moved in the opposite direction to you. “She is… okay,” he admits to himself in thought as he walks through the main hall to get to the dining room. He isn’t sure if okay is enough to hoard so much of Brother William’s attention. “Ah, that's right. I should tell Moran to not—.“

—Slam!!

With a mighty step comes Moran, who has terrible timing. Although Louis hopes he won’t notice you by the breakfast, the man’s gaze almost automatically goes in your direction as you walk out the door with James.

He manages to catch your curious eye.

A smile stretches his lips.

He approaches you with a wry grin, and you carefully scrutinise him with your eyes. You have to admit that he is handsome, however he seems to be more Mary's type, judging by the looks of the men she’d been hanging out with. You bite the inside of your cheek at the thought of your roommate.

As Moran approaches you, James grows instantly gloomier as if his entrance was some kind of a bad joke you can’t help but sight upon hearing. “What do you want?”

“Is there a problem, Bond?” He rolls his eyes.  “I just wanted to say hello,” he turns towards you, and a charming smile appears on his lips. “Sebastian Moran, it's a pleasure to me—"

“Oh, there you are, Miss [Name].” Moran's statement is interrupted by William's voice coming from behind the dark-haired man. You get a feeling that Moran is disliked here, or they are all trying to bully him on purpose. Whether it’s a daily occurrence, but the man only smirks at William’s arrival.

“Professor Moriarty...”

“Breakfast is ready. I would suggest going back inside,” he smiles, sending Sebastian a warning look.

James sighs a little disappointed.

“I will go look for Fred in that case...”

***

The breakfast passes in a pleasant atmosphere, thanks to which you get acquainted with the residents of the mansion. They are very... lively. The meal started with the petty banter exchanged between Moran and Bond and ended with everyone getting busy with their duties. Thanks to them all, you’ve been able to take a little break from the overwhelming reality, for which you were very grateful.

After the tea, you move to the living room at the request of William. You sit down in the armchair opposite him, taking a book borrowed from James. There is a comfortable silence between you, accompanied by the sound of pages being turned. Your body relaxes. You haven't had many opportunities to do so lately, so you appreciate being able to rest at William's side and even hope that such moments could be endless...

“How do you find it here?”

You look up from your book and smile.

“It's lovely here,” you reply without a second thought. There is nothing you would complain about. “And everyone is very nice. I didn't know you, professor, had a brother! Mr Louis is a truly outstanding chef... Any chance he could share the recipe of those tarts that were on the table?”

William chuckles, and you put the book aside. Fictional romances are interesting, but talking to William could draw you in even more. “Of course. Although... I don't know if I'd like it myself.”

You twitch with nervousness.

“O-oh,” you corrected the folds of your skirt, somehow not having the strength to look at William. “If I ask for too much, then, of course—"

“I apologize. I phrased it wrong,” William interrupts you softly, placing his hand gently on your shoulder. Since when did he sit so close to you? Just as you remembered, the floral scent that was in the library strikes you once more. “That's not what I meant.”

He grunts and straightens up, shifting his hand from your shoulder to the palms of your hands.

“The truth is, I have an issue,” he smiles weakly, and your heart leaps with emotion. William trusts you that much to speak freely about his problems? “And it consists in the fact that I have never known what you take interest in,” saying this, he lies. “We’ll certainly give you the recipe but rather as in exchange. I’d love to learn much more about you, so you will be able to count on me even more.”

You choke on your tea.

“I...” Your voice is hoarse and you have no idea how should you respond with your tongue tied with a stir. “I am not sure if it is possible to make me even more dependent on you, Professor. Especially as I am living in your house for the moment, and I’ve been treated with nothing but kindness.”

“Yet I am even more infatuated with you when you’re here,” William whispers.

He dangerously closes the distance. He teases you, moving closer and closer to you more and more slowly and not allowing you to look away from him.

If before, in the school library, you were separated by a book, now there is not one.

…

There is Louis.

Louis knocks on the room and makes you jump away from William to the other end of the sofa. William looks as if he is suppressing a chuckle before turning to his brother.

“Brother William, Miss [Name], the carriage has been prepared,” he says, bowing in a butler manner. “Mr James and Mr Moran are already waiting downstairs.”

“Professor Moriarty, are we going somewhere?”

William takes another sip of tea, seeming completely unmoved in contrast to you. He’s calm yet cannot stop himself from looking up from the brim of his book to watch your reaction.

“We are going to the city, Miss [Name].”

CHAPTER V

London is bustling at this hour. The streets are filled with carriages, finely dressed people stroll along the pavements and children run around them. The image spreading before you had something magical about it, even though it represented the everyday life of the capital's inhabitants.

“Miss [Name]?” William's voice snaps you out of your reverie. You turn an offered arm. You feel shy from the gesture, but you politely accept it.

“...Professor, where are we going?” You ask upon noticing that you are heading to the richer neighbourhoods. Even if someone doesn’t know London very well, the gap between each zone is striking. The buildings here are prettier and you gape at the picturesque area.

“To the tailor,” he says simply, stopping in front of an exclusive-looking shop window.

You freeze in spirit. The displayed gowns are beautiful, richly embellished, and certainly sewn from the highest quality material. You swallow your saliva, glancing uncertainly at Moriarty. You are sure that your money wouldn’t let you afford a little scrape of the fabric, not when it all goes on books. 

“Professor Moriarty... I'm afraid it's not for my budget...” You laughed awkwardly.

“Consider it a gift from me. We don’t know how much time we’ll be lucky to share, yet a fine dress might be required if the guests will visit the mansion.”

“I... I don't know if I can accept your gift...” You hesitate. “I am grateful, but, I… Just can’t. I am not accustomed to such gifts and I won’t be ever able to repay you a gift like that.”

“I insist,” he says but it doesn’t convince you. William sighs. “Then, how about a deal?” He suggests. You perk up and that’s not something you should have done because a lady mustn’t be involved in such atrocious activities. “I will buy you a dress, and as... As compensation of sorts, you will show me your favourite place. You’ve been living not too far away from here, isn’t that so?”

“This is not—"

“This is a very fair exchange, Miss [Name]," he interrupts you, knowing what you wanted to say. You press your lips into a narrow line. It is a bad idea, however, seeing how persistent William is...

“If you insist...”

“I very much insist,” he replies, satisfied with your answer. He then smiles as if he had realised something. “One more thing, Miss [Name]. I think we should address each other by our first names for a while if we don't want to stir up gossip. What will people think when someone discovers that an unmarried woman is staying in a house full of strange men? We should give the impression of family.”

...William could not have cared less about the public opinion of him in this situation.

He almost pushes you through the door into the dressmaker's shop. By the time you blink, you are surrounded by a garland of women. One of them speaks to William, and the other gets a signal to take your measurements. You hold your breath as they do so.

Once everything is written down, you and William could move on.

...

“Professor Moriarty...”

“Once again, [Name]. I believe you can manage to call me by name. Only then will I listen to you.”

“Mr William...”

“Almost there.”

“…William.” You say in a half-hearted voice. Saying his name out loud is much more difficult than in your head. “Are you... Are you sure it's not too much? All those accessories... The outfit alone must cost a fortune.”

“If I am sure of anything, it is that it is all money was well spent.”

“…I don’t concur.”

William smiled at your words and took a sip of ginger tea. You’ve been having an awful lot of tea parties lately. The taste of this brew is no match for the one Louis brewed, but it is certainly one of the local delicacies.

The tea and cake shop you are in is one of the most famous establishments in the city. The upper terrace—where you are now—is open to those with money. It’s not one of the more expensive venues, but certainly one of the more charming.

Despite the hour, there are almost no customers.

“Does the dessert not suit your tastes?” William prompts, looking at your plates.

You both have slices of fresh strawberry tart that was made with a thin, soft sponge cake, a layer of heavy cream and sweet and sour strawberry jam in between.  

A teapot of tea is constantly warmed on a porcelain stand, and cups in floral patterns stand right next to your plates. Vases of freshly squeezed juices and water were placed on the table next to you.

It is the most varied afternoon tea you've been to recently. And everything is delicious.

“No, I like it very much”' you reply, quickly scooping up a larger piece of cake, which you gracefully shove into your mouth that of course you had to choke on it.

“I'm very concerned about your ability to get into trouble,” William says handing you a glass of water that helped you to swallow the cake. 

“It's not that everything I do is that chaotic.” You try to explain, taking a sip of tea, and forgetting that the jug is constantly heated doesn’t help your case.

“Did you burn yourself?” He asks and by the look on his face, you know your actions nor words haven’t convinced him. You croak, a little disappointed in your luck, but more by the burnt tongue. “Please show me the world, it can be more serious.”

“There is- no need for that…”

“That's what ice is good for,” William states as he stands up and walks over to the table next to him. He takes a piece of ice from a small bowl which, although it was meant to cool the juices, seemed perfect to treat your burn.

“I... What should I do about it?” You asked uncertainly. Ice? In the spring? Ah yes, it must have been one of those latest inventions... Refridgerorator? Refrigerator? “Should I... bite it? Eat it?... William...”

“You make it very difficult for me,” he says taking the nearest seat to you and putting an ice into his mouth.

Huh?

…Oh.

Oh! So it was for him! Or maybe, he shows you what you should do with the ice? You will need to grab another cube.

William’s hand finds its way to your cheek, which he turns towards you. You open your mouth to ask if is everything alright.

He’s been waiting for this to move closer to you. His lips fit into yours, and you immediately feel the coolness and heat, the ice and William, bursting in your mouth. The scent of ink, books and roses surrounds you, and a hand on your nape makes sure you won’t pull back from the kiss.

An ice cube gets into your mouth. You forget about the burn, as your lungs begin to run out of air, but you don’t pull away. Neither does William, who even deepens the kiss; his other hand goes to your chair to support himself when he leans into you.

Now you are running out of air.

William moves away, but only because of the footsteps of a client, who likely enjoyed the terrace of the cake shop. William puts a distance between you that would never have suggested that a moment ago.

“The ice should have completely melted by now,” William says softly, and you are struck by how calm he looked. All you can see on his cheeks is a pale blush. “If you want more, don’t hesitate to ask,” he says and looks deadly serious as if he wasn’t teasing you.

You envy him for how composed he looks, as another couple who just got to the floor are throwing you a strange look. You are looking like a mess, for sure.

William crosses his arms. He smiles at you, and you still can’t get a word out. You would like to reproach him for the… act, immediate and rough kiss, but the very fact that you have not yet fled spoke for itself.

“Shall we go to the next place, [Name]?”

You bite the inside of your cheek gently as you nod and grasp his arm. He glances at his watch.

“We still have some time before it starts to get dark... It might be a good time to fulfil the deal on your end, [Name]," he says in a gentle tone.

You sigh softly. Favourite place...? The first thing you think of is the library. It is a too-obvious choice, though. The library at Moriarty’s is also the one you’re currently enamoured with. 

…Well, there is one place you remember liking as a child.

How long has it been since you've been there?

“Alright," you smile at him, taking first steps in an unfamiliar direction. William, wordlessly lets you guide him to the place you’ve spent hours dreaming in and about.

CHAPTER VI

The rusted gate is overgrown with ivy and it’s the first thing that catches William's attention. You open it with a loud creak. The place turned out to be... Slightly further away than you remembered, so the sun has already started to set.

You watch William’s face as you enter the wild gardens. Unruly plants grow on the ground and between the paving stones. The place you decided to take William to is an old botanical garden, which no one has been interested in for a good few years. 

Well, maybe just you.

“So… This is a place I have great memories from,” you introduce the place, spreading your arms a little like a showman.

“It's beautiful here,” he admits, looking around. “It's a surprising view, considering we were in the city centre not so long ago.”

A content blush spreads over your cheeks. This time not from embarrassment—you’ve been feeling bashful too much lately, you think—but from sheer glee. You are happy that the place appeals to William.

“Romance books were almost forbidden in my home when I was so little. I had to borrow ones from the neighbours and sneak out to read here," you confess, directing deeper into the garden.

“Really? I wouldn't expect such rebellious behaviour from you.”.

“Oh, when I was younger I did much worse than sneaking out of the house," you sigh, stepping ahead of him. William raised his eyebrows, and you felt your legs slowly stiffen. Since when did you stop being a quiet introvert? You feel an urge to explain. “Like, um, stealing food from the kitchen and blaming it on the dogs. Or borrowing my mother’s cosmetics... without asking.”

He laughs at that. “You surprise me more and more, Miss [Name].”

You arrive at your favourite part of the garden. It is a gazebo overgrown with wild roses. In the middle of it stay wooden chairs and a table, swathed by moss.

“I remember losing my favourite doll here, but I was afraid to tell my mother about it because she would find out about my sneaking out," you laugh at the memory, one of many that return while wandering.

You notice how William hasn’t said a word for a while. A pang of guilt pierces your heart. “Oh, sorry! The stories of my childhood are not the most interesting ones.”

“They are. Actually...” He lowers his voice and leans to him to hear the words better. He speaks right into your ear. “It would be my pleasure to hear more... I would like to get to know you better [Name].”

“Well...” You look at him from under your lashes, trying to guess his expectations for you. To your misfortune, neither his smile nor his eyes betray anything except his curiosity. “What would to know about me?”

William points to the space between the hedge and the woodland.

“Let’s speak in a more comfortable place.”

He grabs you under the arm, and you rise from the table. William offers to go ahead, pushing back the tall grass that reached his knees.

“Ah!” You hold your breath. You find it hard not to smile as you are flooded with fond memories. “It's been so long since I've been here that I'd almost forgotten...”

A tall oak tree with a gigantic crown casts a shadow over you. Thick ropes are tied around the thick bough. Perhaps they had once held the anchor of a small ship. Britain is, of course, a maritime country and, in a time of an over-revolutionary world, finding miscellaneous materials from machines outside the city is not uncommon.

The ropes, apart from thick knots on a high branch, are neatly tied to a heavy board half a metre above the ground.

“I couldn't have climbed up here on my own when I was younger,” you admit, your eyes searching for the stone you brought from the bushes to elevate yourself onto the swing. “Although I suspect I would still have a problem with that.”

“I'll help you,” William offers, lending you one hand and entwining the other around your waist.

“ It’s a-all right," you protest, but the grip on your body only tightens.

William does not let go.

William tries.

William learns he is not strong enough to lift you that high, even if you were the lightest woman in London.

“Please don't strain yourself...!” You squealed quietly as you tightened your fingers on the ropes. You use all your strength to pull yourself up and finally sit on the board, which squats under your weight.

Your cheeks are hot and visibly red; his because of the sudden exertion, yours through embarrassment… and maybe endearment.

And delight. Few men would tear through the wilderness to put you on the swing.

“I know you're thinking about something untrue," William says. His eyes are now on the same level as yours, and once again you can admire his features from a different perspective.

His hands stay on both sides of you, clamping the ropes. The swing moves under his force, and your legs move further away from the ground.

“So,” William begins again, moving away from you and letting gravity do the work. You start to sway slightly. “What books did you read as a child?”

“Please don't think I've been... uh, like this all along,” you said quickly. William laughs under his breath, and you lower your gaze to the ground. “I mean... I borrowed some books from my neighbours, but I mostly read what was on the shelves in my parents' house.”

“Was it a big house?”.

“Neither big, neither small. It's not comparable to your residence, of course,” you take a moment to think about it. “But every room there is cosy. I still think it is one of the most beautiful places on earth.”

“More than a library?”

“…They are both gorgeous and outstanding.”

“But if you had to choose one?”

“Don’t ask so difficult questions, please,” you say with a chuckle that William shares.

At that moment a rustle comes from the bushes near you. It is a loud sound, as if staged.

By the bushes, at a very respectful and polite distance, stands Fred, his clothes in no way tarnished, although he seems to be coming from a part of the garden where you have to make your way through the low branches.

He nods in greeting you and waits for the permission to speak.

William helps you jump off the swing and, after taking you under his arm, allows Fred to come closer. He looks at him significantly to weigh his words.

You couldn’t catch the boy staring, but you feel his gaze on you when he opens his mouth.

“We found Mary Hale.”

CHAPTER VII

You hurry into the living room of William's residence. There you find Mary, extremely exhausted, wrapped in a blanket in a large armchair, drinking. She looks very different from the last time you saw her. She has dark circles under her eyes, and her face is almost morbidly pale. Mary's clothes have never been so crumpled before.

“Mary...!” You call out and take her into a tight embrace, glad she is back. Safe. You might not be particularly close, but you’ve been still worried about her.

“[Name]...” Mary struggles to reply, not knowing what kind of words she could share with you. She seems not even to have the strength to reciprocate the hug.

You move away from her and tears create in the corners of your eyes. “You’re okay...! “

She smiles uncomfortably.

“We have notified your family and Mr Hearst as you requested,” Louis announces, pouring tea into Mary's cup.

The girl nodded and seemed to want to say something more, but before that, someone burst into the room.

“Mary! Thank God you're here!” August runs up to her, grabbing her shoulders. She sends him a weak smile, but it dies as August turns his attention to you. “Oh, [Name]! How good that you are safe too. I was really worried when you disappeared so suddenly.”

Mary's face clouds over. She's the one who's been through hell the last few days, so why are you the one who's focused attention on...? Are you and August Hearst...?

She sighs, and William can’t help but notice the dissatisfaction in her eyes. The case is not going his way. He had particularly told Mary that they had found her thanks to Mr Hearst, and she—as he predicted—already took an interest in him. He was a good, wealthy, honest man who had “saved” her. 

However, he doesn't seem to notice. His attention is focused on you, which inwardly irritates William. 

“I’m fine, August... I was safe at the professor's side, as you can see,” you smile convincingly. August looks with a dull gaze at William and nods. He turns to Mary.

“What has happened to you Mary...?” August asks. “Suddenly a strange anonymous message came to me....”

“Miss, [Name],” you hear Louis' voice near you. “I need you to leave for a while. This is important information in the investigation, and we believe that knowing what has happened might put you in danger.”

“Is… it really that dangerous?” You ask with disbelief and worry.

“We know you care about Miss Mary, yet…”

“A-alright,” you bow slightly and take your leave.

Whatever the meeting was about, you never found out.

From August, you’ve learned that Mary Hale does not want to return to the family home; she will have the week off from classes and is required to stay in another room.

When asked if this meant you were going back to your dorm, William shook his head.

“Miss Hale needs peace,” he replied, and you slowly concluded that you were too low-energy a person to disturb someone like Mary. William smiled. “Unfortunately, but you can be very distracting. She will have arranged a room especially to look after her.”

…You wonder why you couldn't have had the same privilege when you needed a single room as well.

“Miss [Name],” August calls. He seems a little paler than before and is carefully eyeing William as he speaks. The professor sips his tea calmly. “Would you do me the honour of accompanying me back to the academy tomorrow?”

You smile at him. “Su—"

...And William answers for you. “Unfortunately Mr Hearst, I must ask you to be present fifteen minutes before class starts. Our lessons must go on, and we've accumulated a bit of a backlog over the last week, don’t you think?”

“Professor Moriarty," August’s voice is filled with a firmness you have never heard from him before. You look at him in surprise which escalates when he gently moves closer to you so that the sleeves of his suit lightly brush against the folds of your dress.

You freeze in place, knowing that whichever way you moved you would find yourself too close to August or William. You hold your breath as if its irregular rhythm betrays your tension.

“Professor Moriarty,” August appeals again, feeling that his words are not getting through to William, who stares at him. Although the chill gaze isn’t directed at you, a shiver comes down your spine. “I don't want to sound rude, but shouldn't you, as a supervisor, be concerned with the safe return of Miss Mary Hale to the dormitory?”

William smiles, although the air around him goes cold.

August stands up quickly and, somewhat forcing you to go with the rules of etiquette extends his hand, which you have to accept.

Your hand finds its way under August's arm. You two—although you not so willingly—leave.

How are you going to return to William’s residence now? Maybe you will stay on campus, or should you get a carriage??

“You have no idea how deep an emotion you evoke in me.”

…?

These are August's words when he considers that you have already moved a fair distance away. His eyes twinkle as he says it, a mottled blush sets on his cheeks and Mr Hearst himself seems like a character straight out of a book.

You can even sum the plot to the current point: a new student and a shy student are assigned to a class together; the charismatic boy quickly falls in love with the typical girl, and she slowly opens up just for him... How many times have you read something with a similar trope?

Not that you want to flatter yourself—being the protagonist of such a classic romance is a compliment, after all, right?—But it's so hard not to substitute August for this gentlemanly extrovert who wins girls' hearts with the blink of his eye.

And the fact that he was now in front of you and stammering over the words he was about to say makes you suddenly stop.

“August, I—"

“The situation with Mary made me realize that… If something like that would ever happen to you, I would go insane with worry.”

You fail to think of anything you can say. Well, you always wanted to have a romance, right?

But…

Every place that William ever kissed you, starts to burn.

“I... Unfortunately, but...”

You read so many romances; there was bound to be some rejectionist dialogue in those. What did they sound like?

“I am... I am truly honoured, Mr Hearst, but...”

The knot in your throat makes it difficult to say the words.

August knows what you want to say; his grip on your hand tightens involuntarily, and a small wave of panic floods your body. He’s doing it unconsciously, he’s in pain right now, but… 

You wouldn't be able to break out of his embrace alone.

“Miss [Name].”

Your heads quickly turn towards the voice whose owner turned out to be Louis. He bowed elegantly and, putting his hand to his chest, continued to speak.

“Brother William wanted me to inform you that the carriage is already waiting for you.”

August cuts in.

“I am sorry, but we agreed that Miss [Name] is coming back with me.”

Louis squints at him, unhappy William’s words aren’t accepted just like that.

“The plans have changed. I was told to bring Miss [Name] back.”

You feel on your skin the reluctance with which August releases you from his embrace. Sparks of guilt glitter in his eyes and the corners of his mouth twitch uncontrollably. Immense regret pours over your heart as you realise that you have failed to reject him without hurting him.

...On the other hand, would it ever be possible?

August's gaze did not leave you until you got into the carriage. Only then he shakes himself off and with an abrupt step walks away. You suspect your next encounter will not be very pleasant. You’ve just lost a friend.

“Were you willing to accept his proposal?”

You turn to William, who sits opposite you and waits for your reaction. Your skirt is voluminous enough to hide your shaking heart.

Maybe if Mary hadn't liked August so much and if William James Moriarty hadn't been your teacher, maybe then... No.

You shake your head. “I adore him as a friend.”

“So please don’t feel sorry," he says in a calm voice and with a gentle smile offers comfort. “I will make sure that only friendship remains between you.”

...

...

...?

August Hearst has no idea how he got into this situation.

Ten minutes ago he came to meet Professor Moriarty, who had told him the previous day that he would need to speak to him about the overall backlog.

He never expected William to serve him this kind of lesson.

It's really hard to see what's going on outside when you're locked in a bookcase. Only the gap between the wings of the door allowed him a peek at what was going on inside the hall. He has a view of the blackboard, the very centre of the auditorium and the desks, including his own, where he had sat until a few days ago when he had lectures.

He could feel the thick ribbons rubbing against his wrists and ankles; one of them served to cover his mouth. He can’t say anything or move, but he knows that if he makes too loud a sound, Professor Moriarty, who is fully aware of his presence—as he was the one who has put him here—will kick him out of school.

He didn't even need to warn him personally—the unspoken prohibition hung in the air as soon as William closed the wardrobe.

“William?”

Oh no.

August really doesn’t want to hear your voice. His heart has yet to be rehabilitated. He isn’t sure if a whole year will be enough.

On the other hand, he so badly wants you to come up to that bookcase now. August is convinced that the reason he is in this situation is your relationship with Professor Moriarty. He feels the sting of hatred for the professor, but the gentleness with which William handled you made him unable to consider him inferior in this situation.

“[Name],” Since when does Professor Moriarty's voice sound so warm? August wonders in his mind. “I'm sorry to call you out at such an early hour, but... we're both aware that you also need a repetition of exam material.”

“Of course,” you move towards the chair. William lightly catches your hand in his and brings you closer.

“Today we’ll have a special lesson for a special student,” he replies with amusement at the question in his eyes. “I have tasks already prepared for you. Starting from the beginning...”

You grab a piece of chalk and stand in front of the blackboard. William, along with a file of notes, walks behind your back and saunters in circles.

He dictates the questions. You immediately get to work.

The pattern? You already remember it after you failed the exam six months ago. Since then, it has haunted you even in your dreams.

And calculating it? …Maybe you’ve got a little problem with numbers.

William's drawing of perfect straight strokes presents an irregular triangle with three signed side lengths and its heights.

...The first thing you need to do is to use the cosine theorem. You needed a cosine, an angle.

...

...

...

How were the angles calculated?

“William... Uh... I think I'm hugely deficient… Today,” you sigh, lowering the chalk and stepping away from the blackboard. William casts a glance at the blackboard and then at you. “Could I have a hint...?”

A smile stretches his lips.

“But of course,” he replied, walking up to you. 

You hold your hand out to him, from which he takes the chalk but also brings itself closer. His fingers intertwine with yours, and your face is right next to his. He leans down, his lips brushing your collarbone and inhales your perfume.

Sweet. Could it be a rose?

You’re matching now.

He nibbles on your skin, and you gasp quietly in surprise. Slowly, you begin to get used to his touch, but the moment you start to crave it he lifts his head so that he meets your eyes.

“That is the fee for the hint," he flashes you a charming smile. So now he is demanding something in return for his help? Was that the purpose of this repetition?

“…William!” you say, feeling your body overheating. This was supposed to be a lesson! A repetition! And you are going to leave it with grace and knowledge, even if you had to lie about whether you liked the whole event or not. “T… this is still a public place!”

He doesn’t let you move away. He teases you by closing his behind your back.

“Please don't worry. It's not like anyone can see us.”

You blush even harder and William casts a fleeting glance towards the wardrobe.

“And if one’s watching, let them watch.”

CHAPTER VIII

You sigh, looking out of the window. The weather today is not spoiling anyone, and the constant rain puts you in a nostalgic mood. Just to think that not so long ago you were just an ordinary student with a slightly over-exuberant imagination and an obsession with romance...

And now? The former may not have changed, but you feel as if you have become the main character of the novella you loved so much. Being an ordinary townswoman, you have gained the attention of your handsome professor-aristocrat, as well as from your colleague... It seemed too... unrealistic. Fictional.

Your relationship with William is... Exactly what is it? Neither of you ever uttered "I love you" or proposed a relationship, yet your interactions...

You blush at the memory of the scene an hour ago. Your actions hint at a close relationship, yet deep inside you feel apprehension. What if your unspoken feelings don't last? If you are going to be left alone? Would you be able to survive this? Will your heart be able to bear such a disappointment? 

You shake your head, returning your gaze to the notebook. This is not the time for such thoughts, but nevertheless, your hands tightened on the material of your skirt. You take a deep breath and try to focus on the rest of the lecture.

"William is truly amazing, you think as you watch him. Not only does he teach maths at university, he also helps Mary and you. Your gazes cross for a moment and you reflexively look at your notebook, but there are just minutes left before the end of the class.

William announces the end and the students start to pack their things into their bags. 

“Miss [Name],” you hear him after everyone else exits the class. You turned around, looking warmly at William. “I would like to talk to you today about something very important to me.”

***

You are unable to find out where William is leading you. He dismisses your every question like a politician, but in return for not answering, he places a kiss on your finger joints. You don’t break out of his embrace or even comment on it, even when you get into the carriage and his hand is still clamped on yours.

“Aren't you cold?” He asks, looking at the overcast sky. The sun has hidden behind the rain-threatening clouds after you got into the carriage. The wheels rattle against the stones even faster. He wants to hide in some inn as soon as possible, but he cannot ignore the aristocrat's wish or his money.

You shake your head at William's question. You are warm.

Your vehicle doesn’t stop until forty minutes later, under the old church. It is tall and built of heavy stone. The grey sky gives it an underwhelming atmosphere, but the beautiful buildings and decorations that lasted for many years reinforce your belief that it had once been a majestic and beautiful building. It still has its charm and solemnity in its appearance, but you can’t imagine anyone choosing it over the local cathedrals.

William pushes open the massive wooden door. They opened with a quiet squeak and immediately ushered you into the damper, cooler and quieter air. The raindrops were already almost inaudible compared to the sound of your footsteps.

He leads you to the confessional; he doesn’t even glance towards the altar illuminated by flashes of lightning, or towards the pews, the wood of which was indeed soaked with water. They are dark and smell of earth and the weeds that grow around them.

He seats you where a confessor would normally sit. You protest silently, but William proves to have a better understanding of human physics, for he does not use much force, but still seats you deep inside the confessional. You don’t even dare to flinch and look anxiously at the door as if someone is about to reprimand you for your behaviour.

“May He be praised.”

William walks across to the kneeler. He crosses himself without saying anything and leans towards the grating of the confessional. You are sure he could feel your gaze on him, even though you try to avert it from him. Apparently, he doesn’t mind, and just demands your attention, because he nods as if agreeing to whatever you are going to do now.

“I know the text for the confession, but it can't look like that now,” he says rather loudly, not like a repentant man who is supposed to confess his sins. “I am not looking for forgiveness here. I am not looking for repentance, although perhaps you, [Name], could be my path to purification. I... came here to share my sins with you, because I love you dearly,” your heart skips a beat, “but in order to keep you in my life, I need you to let you get to every part of it. I will keep you safe, of course, but I must make you aware of something.”

You nod but are too nervous to interrupt him. It is a gesture so subtle as to be almost imperceptible, but William notices it. He goes on:

“I am.... a person who pursues an objective regardless of the means, as long as someone close to me is not involved. I do this by means of a certain service of a crime consultant and I clear the world of fake people.”

Here he looks at you. You stare at him as if under the spell, but you don’t really know how to answer him.

“This morning,” he continues, “certain aristocrat was murdered... I believe you already know the news, “he says because your eyes glaze over in recognition. “I would not kill an innocent man, [Name]. That man was notorious on the black market. He had four murders of girls as young as twelve or thirteen. They died in torture, all because of him. Did he deserve to live after all of that?”

You keep silent. You feel a huge lump in your throat, and you can’t think of anything you could say. Tears of unhappiness and shock run down your cheeks. Obviously, the person you had to love was a serial killer, just like in the books.

“Did you...” You whisper out, trying to not let yourself sob. “...They... The rest... Louis, Fred... Moran... James... They all...?”

William puts his hand to the grating of the confessional as if he has forgotten that a wall separates you and he cannot wipe away your tears.

“They are all involved,” William confirms. “I want them to have a better world. I want them to... live in it, and be fulfilled in it. And the same I wish for you. Especially you.”

“...And what... what about you?” - You ask, catching a certain nostalgia in his voice. Nonetheless, you are already becoming well acquainted with William's tones, having spent a lot of time listening to every tone of his voice with relish.

“I don't know.”

Here he hesitates, for the first time in a long while since arriving at the church.

“But... Now, I know that I will do everything to make you live in this world,” he said. “Together with me.”

He got up from his kneeler and approached you. This time he doesn’t kneel but bows his head as he pulls a black box from the deep pocket of his coat. He opens it gently and on the velvet cushion shows an elegant, large ruby set into a silver ring. Its colour immediately makes you think of William's eyes.

Now that you stare at it, it reminds you of the colour of the blood.

“This ring is my being, my promises, my future,” he says, and the stone glows scarlet as if to confirm his words. “My name. If you accept it... I will consider that you accept me and my sins.”

You don’t immediately raise your hand. You would have done so just twenty minutes ago when you were still in the vehicle and you were happily lurching to William's side, resting your head on his shoulder. Now it isn’t just your maths teacher standing in front of you.

Now there is a Napoleon of Crime, one of the worst criminals in London. Your heart is awfully heavy, but you know that this is what a secret of such importance should weigh. It hadn't yet crossed your mind that by him sharing this secret, your choices were suddenly limited.

But you raise your hand nonetheless. It stops over the ring. You don’t know now whether the future you had been anticipating will actually be as beautiful as you have dreamed. By taking this ring, you were saying goodbye to your fantasies since you first learned of love.

The ruby is perfect for your finger; it slides in neatly and stays in place.

You tear up at this sight.

“Everything will be fine," William holds you against his chest. His hands continuously stroke your hair, slowly calming your sobs. It takes a long time though, but eventually the touch, his squat silhouette seemed to warm you up in this cold church. Yes, William's gestures were always warm, though his hands were usually cold. “I won't let anything bad happen to you. I will love you always,” and here his voice changed to a whisper. It sounds like a confession for the first time. “I beg you to remember that. Amen.”

CHAPTER IX

You have returned home. (You remember how warm you felt in William's embrace as the carriage wheels clattered against the cobbles on the way back to his estate).

William took his brothers with him to the study to discuss a matter relating to you. (You blushed at Moran’s whistling, having noticed the ring on your finger. Everyone congratulated you, but they didn't look surprised).

James handed you some cosmetics he'd bought in town. (Unrelated to the engagement, but they smelled divine).

You went to bed.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner.

You spent whole days at William's side. You didn't even make it back to university, although William continued to promise that you would be there again in the future.

...

It couldn't have been that long, could it?

Your book, “The Fruit of Infinity”, which you were so engrossed in, was last shelved in your dorm room... how long ago? When was the last time you even had the presence of mind to get a hold of a fictional world once more and get away from the present one? Too many things have been occupying your head.

The first was your wedding.

...

Huh.

When have you agreed to this? When did your parents have time to allow this? When did Louis have time to agree to this? The latter two would fight against the world if you had said anything about a relationship with William at the beginning of your acquaintance, just to keep you from getting married.

When did their resolve soften?

You aren’t going to talk them out of it. You know that everything that has happened to you so far was just a stroke of luck that you had accidentally come across. If only you have chosen a different class, a different major in college… Surely nothing has happened because of your non-existent romance skills.

(Although Moran did offer to teach you a little something if you wanted to flesh out your personality).

(William protested).

You don’t yet know how your life will play out from then on. Is William going to separate you from his plans for the London aristocracy? Keeping you completely unaware will be impossible and that’s why William has revealed his plans to you, but…

“Will's just worried about you,” James says, patting you on the shoulder. He listened intently to your worries, which you have been trying to keep to yourself lately; now that you know how much responsibility rests on the shoulders of everyone in the house, you don’t want to bother them with your silly problems. Bottling your feelings too quickly was breaking you from the inside, and James took you to the gardens as soon as he noticed your first insincere smile. (That's something you'll have to practice more). “The world in revolves is truly brutal. And you, my dear, are very fragile.”

“I don't want to be that fragile," you lowered your head with a slight pout.

“Oh, dearest!” James strokes your head again. You'd noticed that he is in the habit of fixing your hair and you like the childish joy of being cared for like that. “I'll take care of you, alright? Let's give William some more time to enjoy that rosy, adorable you at the wedding. And afterwards, we'll make you quite a weed to fend for yourself and know that people like Moran are low-key!”

You smile slightly. “...I bet you would be an excellent professor on that topic.”

He covers his mouth with his hands and looks at you with pride.

“Is that sarcasm, I hear?” he sighs with delight, taking you in one arm in his embrace. “My dear, I see progress, and in a very good direction.”

…

You guess you won’t mind a family like that.

…

The other thing that pulled you away from the books and the now all too fictional reality was this terrible fear.

Your life will change as soon as you marry William. It is inevitable and knowable, and normally the changes after the wedding are the ones people usually wait for.

You'll have a loved one by your side, plans for your life, and your dream romance with the antagonist (they always have something in them that the main characters lack)... And all of England chasing you.

News of Count Caretling's murder was everywhere. The information about his death is incomplete, always accompanied by a reference to a natural disease that no one had ever known about before. You don’t dare to ask William if he is responsible.

“Dearest,” he told you, sipping his tea. “You can still back out of everything. Just a word of promise that you will not reveal anything about our identity. Most likely, your brothers would force you to move deeper into Europe or to America—your whole family could go with you safely, I promise you. Would that be a more appealing solution?”

He said it quite neutrally. After that, you’ve been frustrated with William, especially as you slowly started to see the tension in the smile and the artificial indifference in those words.

You left his office genuinely angry.

And now you are on your way to America.

...

The theoretical road to America. Or some country in Europe. You haven’t decided yet.

...

You are on your way to travel the world then. With no luggage, no funds, no knowledge of parents, fiancé or friends. In a wedding dress, walking briskly across the seashore knowing there must be a port somewhere. Yes, you're prepared to travel the world.

Your watch indicated that your wedding ceremony would begin in fifteen minutes. You know there have been cases where brides had been far, far too late for their wedding, too engaged in preparing themselves for their special day. If no one has noticed that it's too quiet in your dressing room and they haven't kicked down the door or climbed through the window then you should still have some time.

You can feel your eyes burning, and it’s not because of the sun that shines down on you.

Why are you giving up on your dreams?

Your legs ache and your heart feet heavier with every step. The sand on the beach tries to pull you underground and some part of you wants to let yourself collapse.

You ran away from William James Moriarty because you feared for your life. And not only yours.

If someone stumbles across William's criminal trial and connects the dots to you—would you be able to lie to save your life? Is this more valuable than all those dead? Would you let yourself pretend to be an innocent maiden from a wealthy manor or betray them if you gave anyone a wrong impression? If you left this world in the name of William’s ideals, would your family be punished as well?

You always thought love would help you face anything until you landed in the current situation.

You aren’t able to admit it to William, although in your head you are putting together scenarios of your explanation should he decide to catch up with you.

When he decides to catch up with you.

He appears out of nowhere and you know it must have been due to someone following you. You feel silly with the thought when you thought you had been so clever and discreet in your escape. You have, after all, met Fred and Jack.

William is dressed in a wedding suit; completely black, elegant and unsuited to the beach. You don’t match it either, but as he stands next to you now, you know you suit each other. At least with the clothes.

“So you decided to quit, [Name].”

“...I don't want to put anyone at risk,” you say after a moment, but you struggle to get any words out under William's gaze, which isn’t warm anymore. What were you expecting? “And I also have a selfish reason. William, I won't be able to live a life like you. I— I want to help people, but I don't want to sacrifice my life! Nothing— I haven't achieved anything in my life yet!”

You can’t hold back the tears. They are pouring down your cheeks and you regret like never before in your life that emotions can sway you like that.

William is standing close enough for the hem of your dress to touch the fabric of his trousers, but he does not attempt to deepen the contact.

“My life is inseparable from the death of others,” he whispers, and because the beach is unusually quiet, you hear everything in his voice that you love so much. “You [Name], on the other hand... You remind me of life itself. You are full of it. You can't hide what you feel. You care about each person, and I care about the public well-being. You value everyone and I can’t do that.”

“…You know that's not true,” you say resolutely and with anger in your voice. “William, you put the whole world before yourself. You teach people and want to build things with your own hands. I'm the one who has this selfish desire to have you in every piece... This- I'm the one who messed it all up.”

“Then help me fix the world, if that’s what you want.”

His red eyes are piercing you deeply. Your body fills with a mixture of very different feelings, and William is now allowing you to release them all. You use them up to muster up the courage to say your vows.

“I want you to be mine. And me to be yours. So I can’t give you to the world.”

You grab him by his suit and jerk him towards you. Under the sudden force, he leans over and bumps into you.

You steal a kiss from him.

It stands apart from all the others you have ever shared with him (and those, however, were not too many (in reality. Not in imagination)). It is more violent than all the others because of the sudden desperation. 

And then William regains control. He lifts his head higher, just enough to keep your lips from parting, but now you have to exert some effort to reach him and stand on your toes. 

You have to make up for your running away.

And you can do so by giving your heart, soul and mind entirely to William.

In exchange, you can keep his life to yourself.

EPILOGUE

“Hmm~ So now it's Mrs Moriarty, no?”

You laugh with a fiery blush on your face at this remark.

You’ve been embarrassed since everyone turned towards the huge doors when the bride and groom were a good half hour late for their wedding. Their outfits were in the sand, the bride's make-up was smudged, the groom’s suit stretched, and they both walked down the aisle without any remorse, with a determined stride.

“You are already the subject of many rumours,” comments James, sitting next to William. He adds in a thinner voice and with exaggerated drama, “Such shortcomings in your outfits on your wedding day, they said. And yet they walked in with such superiority as if their tardiness was nothing, they said.”

“It wasn't too bad,” says Moran, disturbed that he can’t light a cigarette in the cab. He grins slightly in William's direction. “But I'm glad this wedding wasn't perfect! Now everyone, we have some top-tier teasing material on William!”

“Finally something he wasn’t a gentleman in," you say.

“The bride who tried to run away from her wedding was also at fault, I think,” William replies, not looking at you but squeezing your hand.

You squeezed it tighter. “A bride who had a very good reason to do so.”

“So the groom shouldn’t have been chasing her?”

“He should have. Now she finally has a purpose. I think the groom should beware of what a wonderful wife she will become.”

“He won’t mind, as his wife is already wonderful.”

Everyone listens to the exchange in silence, or maybe you don’t pay attention to anyone, completely lost in William who lets himself look at you and gets spellbound by you as well. 

Louis sighs, with some kind of relief.

“So brother has finally found his happiness, hm...~” tag: @elvyshiarieko

#eoeoeoe that's one long fic #idk if it has a chance of being popular here #but i hope all thos who were waiting for it will enjoy the fic fully! #william james moriarty x reader #moriarty the patriot #william james moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty #yuukoku no moriarty x reader #ynm x reader #ynm #moriarty the patriot x reader #william x reader #fluff #angst #mtp #mtp x reader

[magmas-stuff]

Virtual Reality weapon: The Phantom Ruby

The Phantom Ruby is one of the coolest gizmos in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. This post aims to analyze the properties and history it has demonstrated throughout the series.

Powers

The Phantom Ruby is a mysterious object that first came into Sonic’s world after a sudden dimensional breach in the atmosphere, bringing down with it the entirety of Angel Island and sparking interest from several parties. From the get go, this artifact already demonstrated an unprecedented amount of power the likes of which even Eggman sought to replicate (to varying success).

As Tails explains in Sonic Forces, the Phantom Ruby is able to feed false information to the brain and trap its victims in extremely lifelike illusions that can draw from their own thoughts and imagination. This includes Phantom Copies, which can look and act like pre-existing individuals, albeit without "souls."

Perhaps its most interesting property, however, is its ability to react to the sense of being and will of others. Paralleling the Chaos Emeralds' “power enriched by the heart,” it can be said that the Phantom Ruby possesses "power enriched by the mind." This is perhaps better demonstrated in Sonic Mania, where the Hard Boiled Heavies suffer radical changes to their appearance and mannerisms based on the minds of the animals powering them as a result of exposure to the Phantom Ruby.

This trait of the ruby is explored to its extreme in Sonic Channel's Otherworldly Comedy, where Dr. Eggman engulfs the planet in various illusions that reflect the people's own impression of themselves, erasing their memories and having them live out alternate lives and scenarios until then only possible in their dreams. This is done by utilizing a weapon still charged with the aftermath of the Phantom Ruby’s energy. The doctor also uses a modified leftover prototype to power himself up to a form akin to Super Sonic, being able to manifest alternate worlds in a whim and create Phantom Copies of creatures as powerful as Perfect Chaos, seemingly having no limitations in regards to energy consumption like Infinite did, although it's unclear to what extent this prototype was modified.

History

The Phantom Ruby's first chronological appearance, Sonic Mania, has Tails convince Sonic to go and check the unique energy signature detected in Angel Island that caused it to fall to the ocean. Dr. Eggman, who detected that very same signal, has also deployed his elite Eggrobo squad to retrieve its source. The Hard Boiled Heavies, granted new powers and greater freedom of thought by the Phantom Ruby, attempt to escape with it, and thus begins the adventure to prevent the gemstone from falling in the wrong hands.

After Sonic and friends, who are in possession of the seven Chaos Emeralds, wreck Eggman and his Phantom Egg, a mech designed to make use of the Phantom Ruby's energy, the group is taken to what appears to be a dimensional void created by the ruby. There, Super Sonic gets caught in the middle of the conflict between Eggman, riding his Klepto Mobile, and the Phantom King, who at this point has long since betrayed his maker, both fighting to get ahold of the gemstone. In the end, Sonic leaves victorious, being teleported to the future alongside the Phantom Ruby.

In the aftermath of this battle, the Phantom Ruby winds up in front of one of Eggman's facilities. The doctor begins to study it closely, learning how to make use of its abilities after his base is attacked by the Jackal Squad. He performs his first real test on Angel Island, creating copies of Pachacamac's village and Chaos, god of destruction. Seeing it in action, Robotnik deems the jewel even more powerful than the Master Emerald itself.

Beholding the Phantom Ruby's incredible power, Eggman aims to replicate it. In this pursuit, he manufactures various faulty prototypes in Mystic Jungle until he can finally perfect it, gifting the final product to the new leader of his army, Infinite.

Eventually, six months after taking over the world, Eggman orders Infinite to dispose of those prototypes, seeing as he had no need for such liabilities. The jackal does a poor job, however, leaving a few unattended. One in particular, the one he dropped while fighting Silver in Mystic Jungle, is discovered by the Avatar, whose heroism would prove enough to activate it.

At the climax of the Eggman War, Infinite uses his Phantom Ruby's power to summon an illusionary sun above the battlefield, aiming to wipe out all of the resistance. The Avatar manages to dissipate it, however, losing his own prototype in the process. Weakened from spending much of his energy to create that sun, Infinite tries to take on Sonic who, aided by the Avatar, beats the mercenary one final time. This causes him to lose control of his powers and be pulled into the Eggman Empire Fortress' decoy reactor, ultimately being consumed by the original Phantom Ruby.

After Infinite's defeat, Eggman reveals he has incorporated the Phantom Ruby into his new Death Egg Robot, claiming to have surpassed Infinite as the ultimate form. Just as the Phantom Egg before it, however, this mech is destroyed by Sonic, his classic self and the Avatar, ending the war and sending both the Phantom Ruby and Classic Sonic back to the past.

Classic Sonic, returning from the future after aiding the Resistance in winning the war, is still chasing after the Phantom Ruby. The gemstone falls into the hands of Heavy Magician, who uses it to reassemble her fellow Hard Boiled Heavies. Thus, Sonic is forced to go on his earlier adventure again, though this time accompanied by Mighty and Ray as well.

As Eggman's plan once again fails, he is sucked into a Phantom Ruby portal, presumably finding himself stuck in Egg Reverie Zone. This is the original Phantom Ruby's last appearance, leaving its fate ambiguous.

Meanwhile, back in the future, the modern Dr. Eggman has yet to give up on his Phantom Ruby exploits. Seeing as how he still had a weapon charged with Phantom Ruby energy, the doctor decides to put it to good use and begins another world conquering plot. By covering the entire planet with the Phantom Ruby's energy, he used what Tails calls "cognitive frictional energy" to generate extreme amounts of energy from the discrepancy between the world's original reality and the new reality overwriting it. By absorbing this resulting energy, Eggman created his ultimate weapon, the Egg Field, a mech capable of reshaping the world around it to erase all of his past failures.

Sonic manages to destroy the weapon by turning into Super Sonic, forcing Eggman to transform into "Super Eggman" by making use of his modified Phantom Ruby prototype. The doctor attempts to persuade Sonic by arguing that these fake scenarios cause harm to no one, but the hedgehog refutes this by saying that the thoughts of Earth's denizens should not be forced out of their minds, and to do that would be to inflict suffering upon the planet. Eggman also attempts to create a fake world tailored to Sonic's every whim, but he manages to see past it and defeat Robotnik, allowing things to return to normal, even if slowly due to how massive the scale of the illusions were.

Eggman, beneath the wreckage of Eggmanland, contemplates fixing his modified Phantom Ruby prototype and using it once more, but Infinite, who was briefly able to leave the Phantom Ruby during the whole event, snatches it from his hand. Initially seeking revenge, he instead accepts his fate as his body disappears once more, dropping the prototype into the lava.

Conclusion

And that was essentially my write-up of the Phantom Ruby! It's a topic I learned I really like, so I hope this was enjoyable to read.

#phantom ruby #sonic mania #sonic forces #sonic mania plus #eggman #dr eggman #infinite #otherworldly comedy #isekai ogiri #infinite the jackal #sonic the hedgehog

[hit-song-showdown]

Year-End Poll #43: 1992

[Image description: a collage of photos of the 10 musicians and musical groups featured in this poll. In order from left to right, top to bottom: Boyz II Men, Sir Mix-a-Lot, Kriss Kross, Vanessa Williams, TLC, Eric Clapton, En Vogue, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Color Me Badd, Jon Secada. End description]

More information about this blog here

Now in 1992, we're seeing the true force of Seattle's music scene making its way to the charts. By that of course I'm talking about the Hot 100 debut of The Emerald City's own Sir-Mix-a-Lot. I'm not even being cheeky (ha.) about that. Not only has Sir-Mix-a-Lot been successful in the rap scene prior to this year (including a platinum record), but with Baby Got Back we're finally seeing rap music officially represented in these polls (along with Kriss Kross). Yesterday, I talked about Miami bass and the obscenity trial surrounding 2 Live Crew. Baby Got Back may not have reached that level of litigation, but the track was incredibly controversial, with the music video being banned by MTV.

This year is also notable for featuring the R&B group, Boyz II Men, and this won't be the last we see of them. End of the Road beat the record at the time for holding the number one spot on the Billboard Hot 100. This record was later broken by Boyz II Men again with the releases of I'll Make Love to You and One Sweet Day (two tracks we may discuss in the future...). The group dominated the charts, with a cumulative 50 weeks at the number one spot. As we get to the latter half of the decade and the boy bands start flooding in, it's clear to see where the direct line of influence was drawn.

But anyone who knows even the most basic facts about music history from this time may notice that something seems to be missing. It's interesting coming at this from a 2023 perspective, because the absence of Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit just feels wrong. It's hard to find a music retrospective that doesn't mention it. As the song that helped grunge find a mainstream audience, rock's shifting image, the changing attitudes and priorities of a new generation of young listeners, the commercialization of the PNW working class lifestyle, the final nail in glam metal's coffin. But on the Billboard Year-End chart, Smells Like Teen Spirit only reached number 32 (which is still an accomplishment for the pop charts). Will we ever see grunge truly featured on these polls? Probably not. At least not until we get to the genre's descendants in the 2000's.

#billboard poll #billboard music #tumblr poll #1990s #90s music #1992 #boyz ii men #sir mix a lot #kriss kross #vanessa williams #tlc #eric clapton #en vogue #red hot riding hood #color me badd #jon secada

[catty-smartypants]

Hi, I want to make a post to introduce my Fear and Hunger Termina OC!

Firstly tho, this awesome art isn't mine, it's made by:

Please check them out. They are so cool!

Her name is Edith Benonette, and she possesses the Ancient Soul. She's 40 years old.

Gameplay:

[Starts with a permanent -15% accuracy and foggy view (the latter removed by wearing glasses), incurable by Sylvan ring]

Skills:

Composure - Passive skill, ignores tension caused by enemies and slows mind loss in overworld (twice the time needed)

Prayer - Active skill [Regain 20 mind, remove a stage of fear and phobia stat effects, on self, but inflict bleeding, requires an Alll-mer sigil, increases affinity with Alll-mer "A ritual nuns often perform at churches, inflicting harm to themselves to forget about impure and unbecoming thoughts."

Libriographic insight - [At the cost of mind is able to select any* desired book from bookshelves that haven't been checked before] *The books Pocketcat sells, the mind price of books is 20 times the heads price of Pocketcat.

Appraisal - An active skill, [costs 35 mind] which allows to appraise an item, giving a bit of lore behind it and adds [+50%] of the stat buffs and effects of any equipment (except Beheaded Wizard [special dialogue between Edith and Nas'hrah if done]).

Entrepreneurial spirit - Passive skill, can sell items back to the vendors that sell it too [-20% of the buying price]. Can haggle to buy items cheaper [by 20% off the price] from vendors, the success of that is determined by a coin flip.

Starting items:

Coin Purse [+10 M. Defense, 75% Otherworldly] - "A small, round pounch with a long, beaded string securing it on its wearer. It allows the wearer to store as much coin on them as they can find." [If worn no coin limit]

Lotus Hat [+1 M. Defense 80% Otherworldly] - "An antique luxurious wool hat, with a decorative, sewn, lotus flower. It is said the white lotus represents peace and spiritual perfection"

Shirtwaist dress [+2 M. Defense +1 P. Defense 75% Slashing 70% Otherworldly] - "An old but luxurious and expensive emerald wool dress"

Broken Eyeglasses

As THE chosen character:

Story:

[An animation of Edith smoking by an open window, followed by:]

The soothing sound of the railtracks... You are not used to such peaceful and tramquil atmosphere. You were born in a prestigious noble family from Rondon, both your mother and father coming from old dynasties.

As the oldest child of theirs you were afforded no time for childhood innocence,

you were not allowed to play or go outside without supervision neither to talk with anyone your parents didn't see fit.

Your father hired a dozen of tutors that taught you subjects ranging from playing the violin to economics.

You hated it,

each day felt like you were trapped in a maze, walking the corridors of your family's estate while looking outside, seeing the commoners' children enjoying life made you jealous.

You have begged your mother and father to allow you to go outside, even only to attend a prestigious school.

After years of convincing, at your 14th birthday, you were given a choice.

You either went to a nun covent or at a prestigious boarding school. You chose the...

Nun covent [You learned Prayer]

Boarding school [You learned Composure]

After finishing your studies you returned home.

You would've missed the place if you weren't expected to follow the old rules.

And if your parents didn't arrange a marriage for you,

your future husband was a brash, ignorant and old factory owner. Your family prospered from the shared income while you moved in with him.

By comparison the years spend in the estate were a holiday. You were to attend endless balls, ceremonies, speeches with your husband.

While at home, you endure his violent lash-outs. You couldn't do much to stop it,

not only you had a reputation to maintain but also, you had nobody to rely on. The only distraction from reality was:

Burying yourself in books [You learned Libriographic insight]

Collecting relics of the past [You learned Appraisal]

However, your relief didn't come without a price.

As you spend nights, collecting the few things that brought you comfort, you could see more and more a weird fog surrounding you.

A visit to the doctor revealed that your sight was deteriorating due to stress. You began wearing glasses.

As the war started, your nation was dragged into it and so the economy took a big hit,

your husband's business was failing, and he was never good at holding his anger down,

your life became hell, you couldn't even rely on your past activities anymore. You were thinking to end it all one night,

you went to the housekeeper's area and looked for any poison,

your search was stopped by the housekeeper,

your excuses didn't stand a chance as tears rolled explaining your situation.

She hugged you and showed were the poison was, before giving it to you, telling you a better way of using it.

You waited for the opportunity, and it came,

your husband has invited serval potential investors at your place, a big dinner was supposed to be happening.

You were forbidden to participate but that only gave you a better alibi.

You asked the housekeeper to show you his goblet, and poured the poison in the drink.

The next morning, your husband was found dead, chocked in his own vomit. Since the death cause was asphyxiation, you were off the hooks of suspicion.

And so, you were saved,

you had to pretend you mourned, but the tears you rolled at his funeral, were tears of joy, and pain, for all the years wasted on him.

But now you had to decide on the fate of, now your, business...

You decided to sell it [You gain 200 shillings]

You decided to keep it [You learn Entrepreneurial spirit]

No matter your decision you were decided to begin anew.

You knew your freedom in society was limited to your status, so like before you were stuck in a golden birdcage.

Economical competition is a cruel and unjust game, one you had to shove your sentimentality aside to keep playing in.

You have heard of the war's end, and of the recent rumors of a peace deal between the Bremen Army and the Eastern Union,

this opened a opportunity,

Bohemia was known to be rather undeveloped,

and with the war over, no local enterprises were strong enough to suffice a bigger economy.

If you bought assets from it, it would be a long-term investment. How did you prepare for the trip?

Medical goods [gain 2 light blue vials and 4 cloth fragments]

Food [gain 9 Mushroom stew and 6 meatpie]

Luxury items [gain 1 Pipe, 5 Tobacco and 3 wine vial]

[SKIPPED TILL HERE, if skipped traits received: Prayer, Libiographic Insight, Entrepreneurial spirit and Luxury items]

[An animation would happen where the glasses would drop down and Edith would pick them up]

The lenses shattered. With luck, you'll be able to buy new ones in town."

As NOT the chosen character:

Day 1

She is one of the few characters who do not appear at the gathering outside the train. Instead, the player finds her smoking by the window of the first carriage from the exit. When interacting with her before the gathering, she would have a short dialogue where she dismisses the player, telling them to go outside at the gathering. Once the player does get out to the gathering, no matter if she was interacted with or not, she would be standing right by the door, still smoking. She will not introduce herself but leave right after the dialogue. Talking with her as she leaves let's the player hear her mumble about Tanaka calling him a "competitor" and walking a shorter path than him.

Next time the player meets her is at the mayor's mansion. She would be in the library, there, she is found reading a book. The player can choose to either talk or attack her. Attacking her would lead to a battle, with The Avare scoffing at the player character. If she is not killed or both of her legs are intact after one turn, however, she would run away. You can catch her, but if she exits the manor, she disappears for now. If talked with, she would complain about the poor state the books are kept, commenting on the amount of bent corners and indentations on covers. She also asks the player for a random non-tutorial or functional book. If the player finds it or has it, they can offer it to her, in return she would join the party. If Henryk isn't saved or the Dark priest gets aggroed and she isn't recruited or killed, she would disappear from the mansion.

From Day 2

In the morning till the afternoon, she can be found at Dr. Kefer's store, at the side, reading, talking with her there she implies that she made some under the table deals with them. When asked to be recruited again, she passive aggressively rejects, stating that she can manage on her own from now on. If you had attacked her in the Mayor's Mansion, and she escaped, she would give the player a cold shoulder.

If the player character has aggroed the Dark Priest or The Gentleman appeared before she could be recruited, she would be found instead in the Church of Alll-mer, in the first room sitting in the left-front pew. Her dialogue here is different, she tells the player that she was forced to believe in Alll-mer, but he only pretended to, until this day, she tells the player that there cannot be a logical or optimistic explanation to anything happening in this town. If the player places an effigy on the stand with her alive and present in the room, next time the player enters the room, she will be found inspecting them, talking with her will reveal the origin of these effigies. If the player places all 3 of them, she says she impressed with their feat and propose to become part of the party. If the player refuses or has no available party slots, she says she will be waiting here if they change their mind. She will stay here until Day 2 Night, being available for (free) recruiting.

Here, the player can attack her. If attacked in the Mayor's Mansion or here, she would run in the right room of the Church, if the player doesn't catch to her, she would be gone, if the Chandelier hasn't been dropped or the gate to the basement is locked she will lock herself in the confessional pew, the player won't be able to open the confessional, if O'saa happens to be I'm the confessional too, interacting with his side of the pew will lead to O'saa berating the player for being such a careless hunter, his door too, not opening. If the gate to the basement is opened, she would be gone, but if only the chandelier was drooped she would be hiding in the confessional booth, until the player interacts with the hole caused by the chandelier, upon doing so a cutscene would be triggered of Edith stepping out the confessional and pushing the player down the hole.

MOONSCORCHED FORM

If not killed before Day 2 Night, Edith will become Moonscorched. Her moonscorched form is called:

The Caged Magpie

In this form, she transforms into a grotesque anthropomorphic magpie, alike the Valkyre.

Her entire body is encased, however, in a golden birdcage, where she can only stand with her head hunched forward. Her arms become long, bare wings, her palm still exists though deformed, it tightly holds onto the bars of the cage, as if trying to break them. Her head is shadowed in the cage, however two, piercing green lights can be seen from where the eyes should be, and a big golden beak that pokes out of the enclosure menacingly. Her legs seem the only part of the body partialy out the cage, with two holes letting half of her, now, bird legs out. The birdcage itself seems to be out of lead, with gold paint that peels off it, the cage has no door handle or any forms of exit, only a broken hook on top. At the bottom of the cage, a pile of artifacts, trinkets, and coins shimmer.

The Caged Magpie prefers to stalk parts of towns near shops and vendors. Once in the same location of her, a flavor text: "You hear a metal rustle" and sounds of Eurasian magpie calls while there. If you dont leave the screen, enter a shop or talk to a vendor she will slowly approach the player, it will hop, stalking them and will steal one item the player has equiped if they stand unmoving for more than 7 seconds, after that she will promptly fly away, if the player instead tries to approach it, Magpie will run away alike a scared chicken. If you enter a shop or talk to a vendor as soon as you exit the shop/conversation, the Magpie will fly towards you initiating a fight.

In the fight, the Magpie's body parts do one attack each:

Her legs do a one-character powerful hit called "Digging the dirt", however, this attack is only performed every 2nd turn.

Her arms do a weak one-character attack called "Slap on the wrist", however, there is a 5% chance the Magpie, instead of attacking does a "Acquire" action, which steals one of a character's equipment.

Her beak performs a coinflip attack called "Peck", which is a reference to Crow Mauler's iconic attack. The player will be warned 1 turned before it with a flavor text: "The Magpie seems to shift its head in the cage"

The player can attack the aforementioned body parts and break them. However, her body is protected by a birdcage, which has a lot of HP. Once all the other body parts have been broken, the Magpie will have only one attack "Shove", which deals little damage.

Upon defeating her in combat, you can loot her corpse to get all your lost equipment to her, be it outside or during the fight, alongside a Coin Purse and 99 shillings.

I might make more posts about her, like other character interactions and more about her Moonscorched form!

#fear and hunger #fear and hunger termina #fear & hunger #funger #fear&hunger: termina #fear and hunger art #fear and hunger oc #termina oc #funger oc

[chvoswxtch]

let me let you go

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader, slight peter parker x fem!reader

summary: years have passed since bucky barnes broke your heart, but what happens after he shows up when you're finally on the cusp of moving on?

warnings: cursing, LOTS of angst, bucky being an ass, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sexual content (minors dni)

word count: 7.4k

a/n: fun fact: this was the first fic I ever wrote, but was too scared to post it. it's a dumpster fire that's been sitting in my drafts FOREVER. I wrote this with andrew garfield's peter parker in mind, but feel free to read this with the spidey of your choosing! yes taylor is based off taylor swift, don't come for me. no one helps you through a heartbreak like blondie. as always, feedback is welcomed/appreciated!

Have you ever been hit with such an intense gust of emotion, it knocks the breath out of you? Do you know what it’s like to truly be rendered breathless? I used to think that was an exaggeration for theatrics. In books and movies, when someone claims to be “breathless”, it always felt like a gesture from someone with a flair for dramatics. Which arguably, I was. 

When I was in kindergarten, I fell from the monkey bars. I convinced myself it was only ten bars across, and not that high off the ground. All I had to do was keep my head up. All the other kids could do it, so why couldn’t I? I made it to bar three when my fingers slipped and I fell flat on my back. I got that nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach as I was falling, and as I hit the ground beneath me, it was like the impact of the fall had forced out my last breath. I couldn’t breathe. I started to panic, which made it even worse. I remember a group of kids circling around me, staring. I must have looked like a fish out of water, eyes bulging and gasping for air. It wasn’t long before a set of large, weathered hands grabbed me by the shoulders to lift me up. 

“You’re alright, kiddo. Just got the wind knocked out of ya, that’s all. Here, have a seat. Want me to call your mom? Or are you gonna be tough, kiddo?”

My kindergarten gym teacher wasn’t exactly gifted in the nurturing department, but he challenged me to be tough, and I wasn’t going to look like a baby in front of my whole class. Also if I had told my mom, she wouldn’t have let me go near the playground during recess for the foreseeable future. I never tried to do the monkey bars again, but I also never forgot what that feeling was like. For the next twenty or so years, I tried to evade any situation that could conjure that feeling again, and I was nearly successful.

Until I saw him again. 

It had been two years. Two, very long years since I had seen him in person. I was enjoying myself at an overly crowded Christmas party, sipping on a chilled flute of Prosecco and scanning the crowd for any indication of what direction my best friend had wandered off in, when a pair of familiar steel blue eyes captured my attention. I had to blink several times to make sure I wasn’t imagining him. A twisted apparition conjured from deep within my subconscious. A shock jolted through me and I froze, all of a sudden feeling too exposed amongst the condensed crowd. I didn’t want him to see me. I got that intrusive feeling of nausea in the pit of my stomach, like I was falling again. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even hardly breathe. The emerald velvet dress I was wearing suddenly felt suffocating and heat spread a mile a second all over my body. As soon as I found my footing, I dashed towards one of the balconies to escape into the relief of December in New York City.

I could hardly feel the snow flurries that made a temporary home across my thighs. I couldn’t even hear the party inside over the relentless pounding in my chest that echoed in my ears. My throat felt so dry that I downed the last of my drink in a flash and felt it starting to bubble around in my lower stomach. I had worked so hard on myself the past year to get over him, to convince myself that I was over him. I had almost fooled myself. I didn’t cry anymore when I heard someone mention his name. I didn’t feel an ache in my chest when I happened to see a photo of him on tv or scrolling through my phone. I didn’t break down when I discovered another lingering piece of him in my apartment. I hadn’t even thought about him for months. But one look at him, and a tsunami of nostalgia crashed over me mercilessly. Everything came rushing back and I felt imprisoned beneath the debris.

Rather than feeling sad, I was mostly fueled with anger. Who the hell did he think he was, showing up at MY best friend’s Christmas party? He knew I would be here. Two years of radio silence, and he decides to show up out of the blue, like nothing had ever happened. Maybe he doesn’t realize I’m here. He clearly completely forgot that I even existed to him. My anger slowly dissipated into melancholia at that thought. I hadn’t forgotten him. No matter how hard I tried to. I remembered everything. 

I remembered the way he made me feel the first time he smiled at me and offered his hand. I remembered how he liked his coffee. I remembered the little creases that formed on his forehead and the way he poked his tongue out between his lips when he was concentrating really hard on something. I remembered how warm his body was when he held me as close as physically possible every night. I remembered every kiss he pressed to my forehead in the mornings when he thought I was still sleeping. I remembered holding his head against my chest when he had a nightmare, coaxing him back into a peaceful slumber with my heartbeat and gentle words. I remembered tracing all of his scars with my lips, the dizzying sensation of a cold trail being left by metal fingers on my skin only to be soothed by the warmth of his flesh hand. I remembered when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, and I was made painfully, but delectably, aware just how much stamina came with being a super soldier. I remembered the way his eyes crinkled and closed when he laughed with his entire chest. I remembered dancing around the kitchen to Frank Sinatra in the middle of the night, when we dreamed about our futures together and talked about what we would name our kids. But mostly, I remembered the night he took all of it back without a second thought, just a half-assed excuse, and left me to pick up all the pieces. Alone.

I’ve always been a very independent person. I’ve never felt like I could truly ever depend on anyone except myself. I didn’t think I would ever let go and let myself ever rely on another person. But I did with him. I broke all my own rules. I couldn’t sleep if he wasn’t in bed with me. I didn’t know what to do with myself if he wasn’t around. I didn’t know who else to call for emergencies, or to reach something on a high shelf. I built a home within him, and when it was all ripped away, I didn’t recognize myself. This person that had become so needy and so desperate for someone else’s affection, so recklessly vulnerable. I didn’t know if I would ever get back to myself again. And just when I felt like she was still there, just within reach, it all came crashing down like a house of cards.

Ten minutes ago I was a girl filled with renewed hope. I was happy with who I was becoming, and where my life was going. I was in New York City with my best friend, a city I’ve always adored and dreamed of calling home. I was admiring how beautiful everything was decorated for Christmas time, and how bright all the lights seemed to shine. I was beginning to believe in magic again, and I was finding it in little places. Looking down on the street beneath me, I envied the people below. Their ex-boyfriend hadn’t just walked into their best friend’s Christmas party looking like he stepped off a fucking runway and ruined their entire evening. Their evenings were still happy and full of magic. 

“Aren’t you cold out here?”

That voice dragged me out of my daze, and I was immediately unpleasantly aware of just how cold it was outside. My fingers felt like they were frozen in place wrapped around the champagne glass. I didn’t have to turn around to know who that voice belonged to. I would recognize it anywhere. 

“No.”

I could hear the snow crunching beneath his stupid fancy shoes, his voice a little clearer now that he was getting closer. A breathy chuckle sounded in the back of his throat and it made my stomach flip.

“You do realize I know you better than that, right? You’re telling me a girl that insists on wearing fuzzy socks in the summertime isn’t freezing out here in a dress like…that.”

I don’t know if it was the alcohol that gave me liquid courage or the anger that began to seethe in my stomach, but I had the intense urge to turn and slap the stupid smirk off his face I knew was plastered right across his mouth. I always wondered what would happen when I saw him again. How I would feel, what I would do, what he would do. 

Inhaling a deep breath to steady my nerves, I carefully turned my head. I tried my hardest to tame my facial features when I stared at him, trying to appear indifferent. I didn’t want him to know how affected I was by his presence. My treasonous eyes couldn’t help quickly wandering up and down his form though, and I couldn’t deny to myself how good he looked in that black suit. His hair was a little longer than when I had last seen him, and there was dark stubble coating his sharp jawline. He still wore the same cologne I loved, and the scent seemed to fill the air around me. It was intoxicating. 

“Actually, you don’t know me. Not anymore. Second of all, there’s nothing wrong with my dress. If I want to wear a dress like this, I will, and I don’t need back handed comments from someone who’s opinion doesn’t matter. Third of all, who the fuck invited you?”

The sly smirk he initially wore quickly disappeared into a stony frown. That clearly wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. I took pride in the displeased look on his face. Emitting a deep sigh through his nose, he took another step forward and slid both of his hands into his pockets along with a light shrug.

“Sam brought me as his plus one.”

Tilting my head back, I rolled my eyes and let out a dry laugh. He hated when I rolled my eyes, so I made it extra dramatic. I traded the champagne flute into my other hand and attempted to fix the front of my dress where it had ridden up my thighs, not missing the way his eyes instantly dropped to watch my movements.

“Of course he fucking did. Traitor.”

“Are we really gonna do this? Are you really gonna act like this right now? Can’t you be a little more mature, doll?”

I couldn’t help the laugh that bellowed from my chest, wearing a smile that surely looked maniacal. His cavalier attitude was quickly wearing down the limited patience I had with his presence.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Be more “mature”? Fuck you, James. What did you expect from me, huh? Did you think you could just show up after all this time and I would smile and welcome you with open fucking arms? I know you’re not that stupid. But if you truly believed that, just know that the disappointment you feel isn’t even an ounce of the disappointment I felt realizing you were not the man I thought you were.”

There was a glimmer of betrayal in his eyes and I knew my venomous words had stung him. But he deserved it. I knew for a fact my words didn’t hurt nearly as bad as his had. He hated it when I called him by his full name, something I usually reserved for when I was angry with him. I couldn’t believe he had the audacity to call me immature. One of the bullshit excuses he gave me when we broke up was that our age difference was too much. It took almost two years for our ages to be “too much”. It was never a problem until he made it a problem. I knew that wasn’t really the reason as soon as the words left his mouth. I knew he was lying. I knew he was grasping at straws for a reason to give up that didn’t make him look like an asshole. I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me. Or maybe he just picked a reason because he didn’t actually have one, and saying I was immature was more gentle than admitting he didn’t love me anymore. That was an internal debate I was not getting into again.

I didn’t give him a chance to answer before heading back inside towards the party, hunting for the culprit of my now ruined night. It wasn’t hard to spot Sam in the crowd since he was usually the life of the party, all bright eyes and charming smiles. Under any other circumstances, I would’ve been elated to see him. It had been months since I had seen Sam, and I had missed having him around so much. But Sam and Bucky were a package deal. They were partners now which meant wherever Sam was, Bucky wasn’t far behind. I couldn’t go visit Sam when he was home because Bucky was there. I couldn’t call Sam when he was away because Bucky and his goddamn super hearing were either right beside him or in the next room. Losing Bucky had meant losing Sam too. Before the rational part of my brain could take over, I was standing in front of him and harshly pulling him down by his striped tie to be down closer to my level. 

“Samuel. Tell me you didn’t invite James as your plus one so I don’t have a reason to hit you.”

“Man, you know how hard it is to be a child of divorce? I always gotta choose between you two. It ain’t fair. We all got the same friends, you know. It was bound to happen. Don’t mean you gotta place all the blame on me for it, Y/N/N.”

“Yes, it was probably bound to happen at some point. But you made it happen now. And you didn’t even warn me!”

“Because I thought you wouldn’t care! Look, you were the one saying that you had gotten over everything. That you were cool now. So, I didn’t think it would be a big deal. Y/N come on, you can’t avoid Bucky forever. Besides, I thought you’d be too distracted by your date to even notice he was here.”

“What date?”

Both Sam and I turned our heads towards Bucky’s voice, but his icy gaze seemed to be only fixated on me. That same glimmer of betrayal flickered against the steel blue of his eyes. Even after decades of training to perfect a poker face, anger was the one emotion his features always seemed to give away.

“None of your business. Look Sam, can you just keep a short leash on your guest. This is a party, but I’m still working. I don’t need you two shitheads making a scene. I don’t care if you are Captain America and the Winter Soldier. You ruin tonight for me, and there will not be a planet in any neighboring solar system you can hide on. And he is not my date.”

“You keep telling yourself that, Y/N/N. Don’t worry, I’ll keep Buck company.”

I didn’t even dare look at Bucky after Sam’s comment, but my cheeks were as red as the ruby ornaments decorated across the grand Christmas tree in the corner of the room. Bucky always struggled with jealousy, whether he would admit it or not. It always amazed me, how a man like that could be jealous of anyone. I wasn’t naive, I knew there were men that looked at me when we went places, and a few of them even tried to approach me when Bucky would get up to go to the bathroom or grab us more drinks. But I only ever had eyes for him. He was the only thing that mattered to me. I was so in love with him, it never even registered that there were other people around us when we were together. I tried so hard to get him to understand that. Maybe I had failed.

I decided to kick it up a notch at the bar and ordered a double shot of tequila with my next round of Prosecco. I wasn’t trying to get drunk, but I did need to take the edge off with Bucky being here. I pulled out my phone and typed a quick text to my best friend, Taylor. I couldn’t spot her fulfilling her ‘host’ duties. Where the fuck did she go?

“There you are. I’ve been looking all over for you. You look incredible.”

As soon as I turned around, I was met with a familiar pair of deep honey colored eyes and a charming grin. I instantly felt a little more at ease and offered a genuine smile when I was wrapped into a warm hug. 

“Peter, you made it! You clean up pretty nicely. I wasn’t sure if you owned anything that wasn’t flannel.”

Peter was my coworker, but was also technically my boss. From the moment we met, we hit it off really well. We had a lot in common, we worked well together, and he was all around a really easy going guy. Taylor and Sam had a bet going on when we would sleep together. I had to admit, I had thought about it. I mean he was very attractive, and funny. Sometimes I thought he was flirting with me, but most of the time I convinced myself that was just his personality. He was friendly to everyone, and could be a bit of a flirt, especially if he had been drinking. But he never crossed a line. And besides, he was my boss, and I wanted to keep my job. It was the only one I had ever had that I truly loved.

“Easy, easy. Dress code is business casual, alright. Not everyone walks around looking like they stepped off a Vogue photoshoot.”

He threw me a playful wink, and I would be lying if I said that didn’t do something to me. Maybe it was the alcohol finally hitting. Or maybe I just really missed sex with something that wasn’t battery operated. Or both. But I simply smiled and rolled my eyes, tilting my head slightly.

“You know I thought most guys that worked in photography had a closet full of cardigans, cable knit sweaters, some suspenders here and there, maybe even a fedora or two. But I guess when you’re head of the department, Mets gear and H&M Couture suffice.”

I loved Peter’s laugh. It reminded me of being a kid, laughing at something with your whole chest. Eyes closed, head thrown back. Peter’s laugh always made me laugh. It reminded me of Bucky’s. There was just something warm about him. People gravitated towards him, loved being in his presence, including me.

“Hey, you be gentle with my Mets alright. And what’s wrong with H&M Couture?”

“Nothing, nothing at all. You’re the boss, Mr. Parker.”

We both stared at each other for a moment. I’ve never called him Mr. Parker since my interview when he advised me to call him Peter moving forward. There was a look in his eyes I had never seen before, and his tongue darted out quickly to wet his lips. I suddenly felt a little embarrassed at how I must have come off. Flashing him a quick smile, I reached for my double shot of tequila and downed it. There was a slight burn at the back of my throat and my lower stomach flooded with warmth, but I welcomed it. I picked up my glass and took a sip, brushing my hair off my shoulder.

“So, um, have you seen Taylor? I haven’t seen her in awhile, and she’s not answering her phone.”

“Don’t worry, blondie’s probably just making her rounds. It’s her party after all.”

“I know, I just..needed to talk to her about something. That’s all.”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, no no, everything’s fine. Just..um girl stuff. That’s all.”

“Oh, so I’m excluded from that? Little sexist, don’t you think?”

Rolling my eyes, I lightly pushed at his shoulder with a giggle and took another sip of my drink. The bartender slid a tall draft over towards Peter which he graciously accepted.

“Shut up. Your gender has nothing to do with it, it’s your title. I can’t unload my drama on the guy that signs my checks.”

“Technically, I don’t sign your checks. That’s way above my paygrade.”

Peter shot me another playful wink, wrapping his long fingers around the glass and raising it up to his lips to take a generous sip. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, and I had to quickly avert my eyes from staring at his neck. God I needed to get laid. The alcohol began to simmer in my veins and I had to pull it together before I dug a hole I couldn’t get out of.

“You..know what I mean.”

I was hoping anyone that looked at me, including Peter, would think the rose tint to my cheeks was purely from alcohol consumption. 

“Look, I realize that technically I am above you, but we’re both off the clock, and not at the office. So right now, don’t think of me as Peter your boss, but Peter your friend. If you got something you wanna get off your chest, I’m all ears.”

There was an intensity swirling around in his gaze that I had never seen before, and for a second I thought I saw his eyes drop down to my lips. Before I could respond, Taylor suddenly appeared in front of us with a dazzling, toothy grin on her ruby painted lips.

“Pete, you made it! I’m glad I found you, Mr. Jameson is here and he’s asking for you. He’s over by the dessert table.”

“Shit, come on T. I thought this was a party, not a networking event? You know I can’t stand that asshole.”

“Relax, he just wants to say hi. I think. He mentioned something about pictures of Spider-Man, but I warned him no shop talk tonight.”

Peter begrudgingly downed the rest of his beer, giving the two of us a dissatisfied glare before stalking off towards the direction of the dessert table. 

“Go get ‘em, tiger!”

Taylor and I shared a knowing grin, bursting into a fit of giggles. Her taupe brows knit together for a moment as she eyed the empty shot glass beside me.

“Tequila already?”

For a second I was confused, before my gaze caught up with hers. It took me a moment to register why I had asked for the shot in the first place. Flashes of Bucky popped into my head, and the smile instantly disappeared from my lips. I turned slowly in my seat to stare up at Taylor who was already looking at me in question.

“You invited Sam.”

“Yeah..you like Sam?”

“I do like Sam. I don’t like Bucky.”

“Well neither do I. What does that have to do with Sam?”

“Take a lucky guess to who he invited as his plus one.”

Taylor’s cheerful demeanor melted into an expression of disdain. Her baby blues darkened like a sky before a storm, and there was a hardened edge to her usual sweet voice.

“He did what.”

“He..thought I wouldn’t care. Said it was gonna happen eventually. I guess it is my fault. I did say I was over him.”

I placed my palm against the side of my face, leaning over the bar as I swirled my glass in front of me in slow circles. I could hear Taylor sigh as she sat down beside me, motioning to the bartender for a drink of her own.

“Even if you were, that doesn’t mean he has to parade him around in front of you knowing what he did.”

“He’s his best friend, T. He came first.”

“Yeah well, now they’re both on my shit list.”

My mouth split into a wide grin as I looked over at Taylor. I was so grateful for her. After everything that had happened with Bucky, I was a fucking wreck. A shell of who I used to be. I don’t know how I would have even found the strength to move forward without her. She raised her glass up to mine, and I tapped mine against hers in a silent toast.

“First you two pawn me off to that dickhead, and now you’re drinking without me? You’re both fired.”

“I thought we were off the clock?”

Peter narrowed his eyes at me, crossing his arms across his chest with his lips pursed into a slight pout. After a moment of contemplation, he took the glass from my hand and downed the rest of its contents.

“Fine. You’re not fired. But you’re both getting your own coffee Monday morning.”

Taylor slid her glass over towards me after taking another sip, raising from her seat and smoothing out her dress. 

“I’ll be right back. There’s someone I need to talk to.”

She sent me a knowing look, flashing Peter a quick smile before getting lost in the crowd again. He looked over at me quizzically, but I brushed it off with a wave. I knew she was hunting down Sam, and for a moment I felt bad for him. Taylor’s wrath was not for the faint of heart. Sobering thoughts of Bucky were canceling out the buzz from the tequila and I felt tired. I wanted nothing more than to go home and be alone.

“Hey uh, you wanna dance?”

“You dance?”

“Well..not really. But I swear on the Mets winning the World Series, which will happen one day, that I won’t step on your toes. Or at least, I mean..I’ll try.”

Peter had stretched his hand out towards me, a warm smile covering his lips. I knew that I shouldn’t. I knew that despite my emotions being all over the place and having a tiny baby crush on my boss, I shouldn’t dance with him. I didn’t need to give anyone else a reason to think there was something between us. I didn’t want people thinking I got my position for any other reason than busting my ass and being good at my job. But Peter had that sweet look on his face, and I wanted to be held. Comforted. I wanted a small silver lining to this shitty night.

I let him take my hand and lead me to the middle of the dance floor. I placed one of my hands on his chest, still holding onto his other one as his other hand settled respectfully above my hip. He seemed a little nervous and I didn’t know if it was because of me or because he was holding back on what a terrible dancer he actually was. The thought caused a brief laugh to leave my lips and he looked down at me with furrowed brows.

“What?”

“Nothing I just..thinking.”

“About?”

“You’re not as bad of a dancer as I thought you would be.”

“Ouch. I’m gonna put my bruised ego aside for a second so you can tell me what you’re actually thinking about.”

I don’t know how he did it, but Peter could read me like a book. It was scary sometimes. He was almost as good at it as Bucky had been. It made me wonder if I really just was that transparent. I had known Peter for a little over two years. I had gotten the job right before Bucky and I had broken up. He had seen me at my worst. He had been there some nights when I was working late on a deadline and randomly broke down after thoughts of Bucky interrupted my focus. I don’t know if he knew the full extent of what was going on, he never pressed it or asked. He was just patient, kind, and understanding.

Peter never hesitated to offer extensions if he could tell I was struggling. He sent me home if he thought I was too overwhelmed and told me to take a break. He was encouraging if I felt like my work wasn’t my best. He looked out for me in ways he didn’t have to. I tried to ignore the feelings I had for him. I didn’t want to ruin our working relationship, or friendship in general. This job was too important to me. But being so close in his arms, it was getting harder to deny that there wasn’t something there. There were just too many uncertainties. I didn’t know if I felt this way just because he was there after Bucky when I was vulnerable, or if these feelings were organic. I also didn’t know how he felt, and there was no way to find out without ripping apart the boundary I had built.

“I’m thinking about pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple, with a garlic basted crust. And some nice, cold beer. The good kind, not that shit you drink. I’m thinking about how much longer I have to be proper and pleasant before Taylor lets me run away to the comfort of my couch where I don’t have to wear pants or look nice.”

“You do realize you’re not wearing pants now, right?”

“True. But this dress isn’t the most comfortable, and these heels are killing me.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you do look beautiful. And I’m sure you look just as great on your couch, not all done up. Maybe even better. As far as your questionable pizza and beer choices, I can learn to live with those.”

I couldn’t handle the look in his eyes, not right now. My head was buzzing with a million thoughts and questions, and his eyes looked like a shot of whiskey I could get lost in. I laid my head on his shoulder, moving my arms up to wrap around his neck as I brought him in closer. Peter didn’t even hesitate to hold me against his chest, one of his hands shifting dangerously low on my back. He rested his head against mine, nuzzling his nose against my hair. To anyone watching, we probably looked like a couple. I should’ve cared. We both had a professional relationship to uphold. But I didn’t have it in me to care. I gave in completely to the comforting weight of his touch and the warmth of his presence. It had been so long since I had been held like this, I hadn’t realized how much I had been craving it.

“I know you hate when I refer to you as my boss, but I hope you know you’re the best boss I’ve ever had.”

“Because I buy you coffee every day and give you your pick on projects?”

“That’s definitely part of it. But no..it’s mainly just..because you care. You’ve always been um..very accommodating. I just appreciate everything you’ve done for me so..thank you.”

“Alcohol makes you sappy, you know that?”

I pulled back just enough to gently punch at his shoulder, giggling at his reaction of mock offense. His lips quickly curled into a wide grin as he rolled his eyes, his hands resuming their place on my waist.

“You ass! Here I am, pouring my heart out to you, and you make fun of me! That’s it. I’m calling HR first thing Monday morning.”

“Alright, alright! Sorry. I was joking. Sort of. Look um..you..you’ve been great, really. You blew me away in your interview, and you’ve only been all the more impressive ever since. I know you were uh..you know..going through a rough patch and all that but..it’s um..it’s just..it’s good to see you smile again, Y/N.”

There was a sudden shift in the air around us. This time I knew I wasn’t imagining it when I saw Peter glance down at my lips. I swallowed thickly, frantically searching my brain for something to say so I wasn’t standing there like an idiot. 

“I have to pee.”

“Alright…thank you for sharing.”

I groaned as I smacked my palm against my forehead, shaking my head slowly as I took a step back from Peter and looked up at him with a timid smile.

“I..sorry. I didn’t mean to just..I’ve had three glasses of champagne and a double shot of tequila. I’ll be right back, I promise.”

I didn’t wait for Peter’s response as I bolted towards the hallway where the bathrooms were. I didn’t actually have to go, but I needed a moment to myself. This night was spinning out of control faster than I had anticipated and I was struggling to keep up. I yelped as I felt a hand gripping onto my wrist, tugging me into an empty room and slamming the door shut behind them.

I was prepared to hurl a string of insults and punches at whatever asshole had dared to grab me before I turned around, only to be met with the sight of a very furious looking Bucky. His sharp jaw was set in a harsh line and his nostrils flared. The threats died in my throat at the furious look on his face.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Why don’t you tell me, asshole? You’re the one who dragged me in here.”

“Are you fucking him?”

“What?”

“That guy. Your boss.”

Bucky spat the words out like they tasted foul coming off of his tongue. I groaned loudly as I rubbed my palms over my face and throughout my hair. I didn’t have the patience to deal with him and his unbridled jealousy. I was so fucking over this night. I was so ready to go home. Taylor would have to forgive me later.

“Oh my god, no, okay? We’re just friends.”

“Friends don’t dance like that together, Y/N. Neither do coworkers. His hands were practically on your ass.”

“Does it matter? Even if we were sleeping together, that is none of your business.”

I took a few steps closer towards the door, but Bucky cut me off, blocking it with his ridiculously large frame. Had he gotten bigger? Focus. I sighed in annoyance at how stubborn he was being. Why did it matter to him? Why did he care? He was the one who had left.

“Move.”

“Is that how you got the job?”

“Excuse me?”

“I asked if that’s how you got the job. I knew how bad you wanted it, but fuck I didn’t take you for the type to slut out for it, doll.”

My mouth suddenly dropped open in shock and there was a piercing pain in my chest. I struck my palm across Bucky’s cheek and a loud slap filled the silent room. My palm stung from the impact and I could barely see flush rising to the spot on his skin where my hand had just been. For the first time, I hated the serum that flowed through his veins, because I knew that my hand hurt impeccably worse than his face. I doubted he even felt it at all. I knew I should have felt pure rage at that moment, but that comment blanketed over me like ice, diminishing the flame within me. He had never spoken to me like that. Our last fight had been volatile, and some of his words still nipped at my brain, but there was nothing lingering like that.

I felt betrayed. I grit my teeth as treacherous tears welled up in the corners of my eyes, seconds away from spilling over. All the fight within me had gone out with those words, and all that was left was more heartache that wouldn’t fit inside my ribcage. I was exhausted. I just wanted to go home.

“Fuck you. How dare you say that to me. You know how hard I worked for that. You were there. God, you helped me put my fucking portfolio together! You helped me rehearse for that interview!”

Bucky’s entire demeanor quickly shifted, eyes widening slightly as if he had just felt the weight of his own words. He clenched his fists at his sides, broad shoulders slumping forward with the burden of guilt. He blinked several times, deterring his gaze to a spot on the ground as if it held all the answers he was searching for.

“I know. I..I didn’t mean that. I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry, Y/N..I just-”

“I don’t want to hear it. You don’t get to be angry with me. You left me. You ended this. Not me. You broke every fucking promise you ever made to me. You do not get to be angry with me for how I choose to move on, or how I choose to pick up the pieces that you left behind.”

Bucky refused to meet my gaze as I spoke. The dam had finally broken, and I wasn’t even going to attempt to hold the waves of pain back. I wanted him to drown in them, like I had. 

“I waited for you. For over a year, I was stupid enough to think you might actually change your mind. That you would come back. But you didn’t James, you just left me..like I was nothing. Like I meant nothing. You have no fucking idea what you did to me..what you put me through. You have spent the past two years acting like I never even existed to you. I am finally starting to feel like myself again. And you know what..Peter is a great guy, and he was there when you weren’t. And you know what if I want to be with him, that is my choice, and you don’t get to be upset with me for that. You don’t get to call me a slut for moving on and fixing what you broke.”

Bucky’s face had softened with regret as he finally lifted his gaze to stare down at me, his expression faltering in complete remorse. I could see his eyes glistening under the dim light in the room. I never got to tell him how I felt after he ended things. He never gave me a chance to. I had held onto these pent up feelings for years, waiting for a chance to pour them out. I felt lighter almost, like I had given him back a final piece of me I didn’t want anymore. 

He took a step towards me, his lips parted with the intention to speak. I could see the thoughts spinning around in his head. I know he wanted to say something, anything to make this better. He always struggled with words. He always felt like they weren’t enough, or he couldn’t find the right ones to translate the noise in his head. Bucky was a man of action, in every sense of the word. He preferred to show, not tell, but I think even he knew there was no gesture that would be enough to salvage the wreckage he had created. Even after everything, my heart ached for him.

No matter what, Bucky always tried. I could always depend on him to do that. If he couldn’t understand what I needed to hear, or what I wanted from him, or how to fix an issue between us, he tried to figure it out. Relentlessly. There wasn’t an end he wouldn’t go to just to try. He swore as long as I granted him patience, he would never stop trying. I think that’s why it devastated me so badly when he did stop. When he finally gave up on us. On me. I took a deep breath to wash out the grief in my lungs, wiping at my cheeks with the back of my hand as I steaded my voice.

“James, you made a choice. Now I have to make mine. So please..if you ever cared about me at all, I need you to let me let you go. Once and for all. Because..I deserve better, than to just be discarded like a piece of clothing you’ve outgrown. I loved you, more than I ever thought I could possibly feel about another person, and a piece of me will probably always love you. But I’m not going to beg to be an afterthought in your life when someone will make me the center of their universe.” 

The tear that rolled down his cheek pierced right through my heart, and I felt it shattering all over again. Bucky was the first person I ever truly fell in love with, and despite everything, I know deep down he never wanted to hurt me. I know he loved me once. He wasn’t cruel, he was just conflicted. But I couldn’t wait any longer for him to sort his own feelings out. I had already wasted too much time putting what he might want in front of what I did want.

I took a few steps forward until I stood right in front of him. He instantly reached out to pull me into his chest, like it was a safe haven. It used to be. I let him embrace me fully, burying his face into the crook of my neck. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent, wrapping my arms around his back as I felt his shuddering breath on my skin. This used to be my favorite place. My home. But now..it felt like somewhere I didn’t belong. Foreign. I turned my head slightly to place a gentle kiss to his cheek bone where my hand had struck, a silent apology, before slowly retracting from his touch.

Bucky’s eyes were rimmed with tears as he reluctantly let go, and his hand was still outstretched towards me as I pulled away. I couldn’t reach for him, even if my entire body was screaming for him. It remembered him. It remembered the good. But my brain could only conjure the bad. If I stayed in his arms another second, I wouldn’t have the strength to walk away. I gave him the most sincere smile I could manage.

“Goodbye, James. Take care of yourself. Please. I…I really hope you find whatever it is that you’re looking for. I’m sorry that it wasn’t me.”

I left him there in that room without another word. It felt strange, to be on the other side this time. I hoped I had been kinder. I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I didn’t say goodbye to Taylor or Peter, or even Sam. I would deal with them another time. I slipped out the back into the bustling streets, getting lost in the scattered crowds and chatter, welcoming the bitter cold settling in my bones. Even though my heart still ached for the piece of it I left in that room, I felt like I could breathe again. I had finally gotten the closure that I needed. I was proud of myself for asserting my value to a man I never thought would take me for granted. For choosing the daunting task of creating a life on my own instead of falling back into the familiarity of a fantasy I had created with someone else. I knew the final encounter I shared with Bucky would sting for the coming days, and maybe it always would, but it wouldn’t paralyze me again. 

As I gazed up at the midnight sky, admiring the glimmer of multi-colored flashing lights and welcoming the kiss of snowflakes as they landed across my cheeks, I felt strangely hopeful about the future. You never know when you’ll find magic in this city.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x fem!reader #bucky barnes fic #the winter soldier #the winter soldier fic #peter parker #sam wilson

[askhuntlow]

How have both of your careers been going?

Hunter: [very red with his fist covering his face] I-I have a successful career.

Willow: [laughs] You’ve been Mr. Del’s apprentice for at least three years now!

Hunter: [blushes] Y-yeah! And I’ve made hundreds of thousands of palismen for tons of witches.

Willow: [winks] Your very first palisman was a real special one.

Hunter: [Smiles as a tiny blue jay lands on his shoulder] I remember that! Could never forget it. Del told me I was ready to carve my own palisman. He told me I’ve done enough healing to try.

Willow: [she says in a sing-songy knowingly voice] To which you took three weeks hyping yourself up for and stressing about what to carve.

Hunter: [smiles and turns to Willow] Well, I just wanted to make sure I carved something right for me and a proper predecessor to Flapjack.

Willow: [smiles and leans in towards Hunter] Well, I remember coming in and staying up with you for many late nights where you ranted on and on about possible palismen.

Hunter: [leans in more with a little sparkle in his eye] Well, I remember someone saying she “doesn’t mind one bit” and she was “super excited” to help me make a new best friend.

Willow: [leans in more with a sparkle that mirrored Hunter] Well, I remember someone saying he “just wanted it to be perfect” and asked for my help because I kinda “act like a model for the perfect life long pal.”

Hunter: [eyes dropped down to Willow’s lips but in a quick second he jumped back and laughed while scratching the back of his neck] Hahaha, yeah…

Willow: [fell back in her own seat with a confused face and closed her eyes. After 10 seconds, Willow’s eyes opened and she sighed] I haven’t gotten a chance to really start my career. Perks of deciding to continue your education, right? [Willow elbowed a visibly red and frozen Hunter] But hey, at least I get to continue Flyer Derby and winning against other teams!

Hunter: [shakes head and clears throat, sitting back in his seat as well] Wouldn’t you want to continue Flyer Derby? Like professionally? I know you cheer for the Flying Fiends team. Couldn’t you see yourself getting on that team?

Willow: [shrugs shoulders] It really depends on what the future holds. I mean, I wouldn’t want to give up Flyer Derby. But I also don’t know if I could make it to the big leagues.

Hunter: What?! You absolutely could!! You’re WILLOW PARK!! You’re Captain of the Emerald Entrails, you’ve almost single-handedly won back to back championships, and you’ve been voted Most Valuable Player no less that five times!!

Willow: …six, but who’s counting?

Hunter: Exactly!! What makes you think you wouldn’t make it to the big leagues??

Willow: “Make it to” wasn’t exactly right. More like “survive as” a big leaguer. I have a ton of talent, that part was true! [Willow flexes her arms, Hunter’s entire face went red in that moment] But I also am not super great at balancing my social personal life with the socialite stuff.

Hunter: [stares at her confused]

Willow: What’s wrong?

Hunter: [motions to the computer] What in King’s good green Earth do you mean?!?!???! What is THIS then?!???!!! ARE WE NOT SHARING OUR SOCIAL PERSONAL LIVES WITH STRANGERS IN THE HUMAN REALM?!?????!!!

Willow: [chuckles while covering her mouth. She clears her throat to stop the laughter] Well, this is different. But maybe I could look at this as a way to prepare for the big leagues!!

Hunter: [pushes his shoulders back, crossing his arms, and smiles proudly]

Willow: …Although!~~ [she smirks at Hunter]

Hunter: [deflates] Although?

Willow: [sits up and nods her head] Although, I guess I should start getting used to having to travel a lot and not have enough time to continue my research on rehabilitating palistorm trees if I’m gonna make the Big Leagues!~~

Hunter: [stands up quickly and speaks even faster with each syllable] I mean on second thought! All the work you’ve been doing for your thesis on how to rehabilitate the palistorm forest and finding ways to germinate more palistorm seedlings that can survive the current climate!!

Willow: [looks directly into the computer and gives a knowing smile with a little wink] I knew you couldn’t get rid of me that easily! You’d miss me too much!

Hunter: [laughs] Yeah, I really would.

Willow: [hand on his shoulder] Well, luckily for you, I have at least a year and a semester left to think about that part of my life!

———————————————————————

{Loa loa: Hope yinz have a happy new year and go into 2024 with joy!!!}

#huntlow #willow park #willow toh #hunter toh #A THOUSAND AND ONE APPRECIATION CRIES FOR THE ASKS #one day I’ll actually have time to write and expand on ideas without the need for asks

[dxmoness]

Weapon to Success (Yandere!Eros x Fiancee Reader

You are Eros' lover, who he cares for not as a human being (bc we know Eros) but as his property.

Jealousy and rage always surge through him when he sees you talking with others.

Yet, when you realize that Eros "loves" another girl and it's not you, you decide it's your time to pull the strings.

"Perhaps you should look around the castle, my lady?" Her maid asked her. She shook her head. She knew full well her fiancee would not approve of that especially when they had just gotten into an argument just last night.

"Please, Lady Name. You need your exercise." The maid murmured. The female sighed.

"Very well. . ." She took the maid's hand as they both went for a walk.

In the gardens of the castle, she found a sight she will never forget.

Eros....

He was with another girl. Blonde hair, beautiful emerald eyes. She seemed rather cheerful. Perhaps a friend? But, she then noticed his aura reflected as cheerful and cocky. Meaning this girl was no ordinary friend. This was the Crowned Prince's future queen.

"Is there something wrong my lady?" Her royal knight asked.

"Who is she?" She turned to her guard, who seemed to grow pale.

"She is not of any importance, Lady Name. Please ignore her." The guard gushed as he tried to cover for his master.

"hm.." The girl watched them with suspicion. So even her servants were on to this. Perhaps she could seek revenge in a way Eros would hate.

As if the gods heard her, Perion came to the gardens.. "Lady Name, I am glad to see you are doing quite well." He bowed respectfully.

"Same to you, Perion." She smiled softly. Perion and her had been great friends when she first came to the palace. The only thing that stopped them from continuing on to be such good friends was Eros, for he hated the man and hated the fact that he was closer to her than him.

Perion nods then notices the sight on the far side of the courtyard. "It seems the truth has been shown to you, my lady."

"Indeed it has been..." She sighed. She couldn't believe that the man who she gave her all turned out to never have loved her the way she had loved him.

Her eyes widen when she realized they were heading their way. She then hesitantly hugged Perion to the pretense of them being filled with joy to see each other once more.

Eros, then finally noticed them. He was pissed. He wanted him to be punished worse than death. "Name." He said, trying to stay as calm as he could possibly do so.

"Eros, what a surprise. I thought you were in a meeting?" She felt his dangerously terrifying aura.

Eros nods. "Oh I was. As you can probably tell." Gesturing to the female next to him.

"And this is?" She stared at the beauty, what was the feeling in her right now? Jealousy perhaps? Or worse anger? She did not know, but she planned on keeping it in. The poor girl has no idea what this man actually was. He was not a man to love. She now knew that.

"Psyche Callista. It's a pleasure to meet you, miss!" The female smiled.

"Likewise.." She says, staring at Eros in suspicion. "Well, if you excuse us, Your Grace. Perion and I were just about to have tea." She knew this would anger him more, but she didn't plan on stopping.

Eros glared at Perion. "Very well. I will see you later, Name. Come along now, darling." He took Psyche's hand as they walked away.

The day wore quickly, and Perion had taken her back to her room. "It was fun talking to you again, Lady Name. I will look forward to your next invitations." He bowed before leaving.

The moment she walked inside her room, she knew she was in for a fight. Eros sat by the table on the balcony.

“Oh hello darling. Did you enjoy your little reunion?”

#your throne #eros vasilios #psyche callista #manhwa #eros vasilios x reader

[galionne-speeding]

What're the eight gods like in your Sonic Pantheon AU?

Aah thank you so much for asking! I wasn't sure how/when to drop all the character info ; but now I've got the perfect excuse! To make it more digestible to read (and easier on myself) I'll copy/paste my character doc! (with some slight adjustments)

- - -

Name: Boreas (Also known as "The Cursed Winter", "Lord of Ice") Age: 25 Gender: Male (He/They) Species: Megaloceros Emerald: White

Several millennia ago, the last known megaloceros tribe was wiped out by its neighbors who greatly feared its people's ability to control ice and the cold. The sole survivor of the massacre, Boreas, was able to flee and it is believed he found a Chaos Emerald during his escape. Imbued with new power, he would soon return to avenge his people and slaughter those who had taken their lives ; until a small group of warriors was able to seal him deep inside an underground ice lake.

-

Name: Piia (Also known as "The Trickster", "Devil's Child", "The Moon-Kissed Spirit") Age: 8 Gender: Non-Binary (They/Them) Species: Pygmy Rabbit (Albino) Emerald: Light Blue

Piia was only a child when their village was hit by a disastrous harvest ; and they were offered as a sacrifice to the mountain their people worshiped. They were thrown into a deep crevasse and were killed on impact. However, their body had landed next to a Chaos Emerald which seemingly fed so much energy into it, Piia was brought back to life and granted an array of supernatural abilities. The young rabbit would go on to terrorize their old village, until they were tricked by another child into sealing themselves into a small mirror.

-

Name: Zeutaros (Also known as "The Storm", "The Great Dragon", "The Beast") Age: 201 (Early 40s by Zeti standards) Gender: Male (He/Him) Species: Ancient Zeti Emerald: Red

A Zeti Warlord of terrifying renown, it is believed Zeutaros fell to Mobius from the Lost Hex in ancient times. He seemingly found a Chaos Emerald near his landing site which charged him with immeasurable power and soon began ravaging the land in an enraged frenzy. The carnage would only end when Zeutaros accidentally broke the roof of a large underground cave system, where he fell and was buried by the rubble.

-

Name: Mother Agnes (Also known as "The Sunset Witch") Age: 62 Gender: Female (She/Her) Species: Luna Moth Emerald: Yellow

Little is known about Mother Agnes’ past ; only that she suffered greatly in her youth. In her early 60s she opened a boarding school for lost and troubled children which saw great success ; until all of the children put under her care began to vanish. It was soon discovered that she was in possession of a Chaos Emerald, which she was using to put the children into a comatose sleep in order to feed on their dreams. Her school was promptly swarmed by villagers and Agnes was captured and burned at the stake, at which point all of the children woke up. Her medallion is currently displayed in Sunset City’s history museum.

-

Name: Désiré (Also known as "Prince Raj", "The Adored One") Age: 17 Gender: Agender (They/Them) Species: Jacobin Pigeon Emerald: Purple

Born into wealth and nobility, Prince Raj was raised from the youngest age to be the next ruler of the kingdom and believed to have everything one could ever wish for. Yet many ; servants and nobles alike ; had noted how disheartend and dejected the prince always appeared both in public and in private. When the future sovereign turned 17 they were gifted a large purple gem which they took a particular interest in. Not long after this, communication from the kingdom to its neighbors slowly dwindled until it fell completely silent. It was soon discovered that the large purple gem gifted to Prince Raj was in fact a Chaos Emerald ; which they were using to warp the minds of the entire kingdom, so that all alike would see their lives now revolving around their new ruler as they worshipped and adored Raj day in and day out. The spell was only broken when an assassin was sent to enter the palace and successfully killed the prince.

-

Name: Malda (Also known as "The Hermit", "The Pestilence Witch") Age: 51 Gender: Female (She/Her) Species: African Common Toad Emerald: Green

Malda used to be a peaceful and solitary hermit living deep in the forest, making herbal remedies for those daring enough to visit her hut. When a villager went missing after visiting her however, she was quickly accused of causing his disappearance- as well as all others in the area. While historians now believe she was innocent, villagers at the time condemned her to death by drowning in the nearby lake. Not long following her death, the region was hit with several devastating epidemics ; which were only quelled once the lake was drained and The Pestilence Witch’s skeleton placed in an airtight coffin. A Chaos Emerald was found near her remains during the draining process.

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Name: Manas (Also know as "Royal Seer Manas", "The Devil's Tongue") Age: 57 Gender: Male (He/Him) Species: Manul Emerald: Dark Blue

From a young age, Manas had always displayed the uncanny ability to learn everything from an individual, just by shaking their hand or touching their clothes. As this ability was sharpened over the following years, Manas began to slowly amass followers who were bewildered by his visions and predictions of the future. Little did they know, Manas was granted these abilities by a Chaos Emerald he was keeping safely hidden. As more and more people joined the ranks of his followers, the manul declared himself emperor and set his people on a path to conquer new land ; aided by his visions and knowledge. It is believed this conquest lasted for several decades and saw hundreds of war victories for the manul- until it all fell apart. One of Manas' visions turned out to be inaccurate, leading to a crushing defeat and the loss of nearly three quarters of his army. Disillusioned and under the assumption their ruler had knowingly sent them to their deaths, it is believed the survivors tracked down Manas and brutally murdered him for his failures.

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Name: ∅ / Null Gender: ▇▇▇▇ (It/Its) Species: ▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇▇ Emerald: ▇▇▇▇

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#ask #welcome-to-hotel-california #sonic pantheon au #sonic au #sonic the hedgehog au #sth au #sonic oc #sth oc #sonic the hedgehog oc

[zablife]

How about a secret admirer tommy shelby x reader where he's sending her lavish gifts (flowers, clothes, jewelry, etc) but doesn’t tell her they're from him because he wants to be with her but he's scared he'll taint her with his darkness or she won't feel the same way; fluffy ending please

Tysm for the request, darl! I decided to head canon this idea. I hope you like it!

Tommy as a Secret Admirer

*Tommy had never had any trouble getting a girl due to his handsome good looks. He could have a fuck whenever he liked, but romance was different. 

*After returning home from France, Tommy came to believe that he would never be a good husband. He didn’t entertain foolish dreams that someone could love a man who had unbearable mood swings and nightmares.

*For years he focused solely on his business ambitions, hoping to find fulfillment in his achievements. However, in the back of his mind he still dreamt of finding someone to share his success with. 

*When Polly hired a new girl at the betting shop, Tommy was immediately intrigued. She had a head for figures and could handle herself around the men. She was also a kind and generous woman to everyone there, including him and his brothers. Tommy was often driven to distraction watching her work. At times he even found himself daydreaming about a future with her.

*For the first time since the war, he had romantic feelings for someone, but the very notion made him paralyzed with indecision over how to respond. While he was used to grabbing whatever he wanted without waiting, he knew winning her over would take time. 

*The last thing Tommy wanted was to scare her away. By now she was well aware of his illegal business and dangerous misdeeds. Tommy worried she might reject him because of the darkness within him.

*He came up with a plan to woo her from afar to prove he could still be a kind and thoughtful man despite his harsh reputation. He began small, leaving a box of chocolates on her desk. He watched carefully from behind the blinds of his office window to see how she would react. She was surprised, but delighted with the gift which pleased Tommy greatly.

*The next week she mentioned how she would need to repair her threadbare winter coat as the weather was turning cold. Tommy went out that afternoon and bought her a beautiful new coat and had it wrapped in a large box. 

*When she found the coat, she began asking questions about who had left the mysterious gift. Polly advised, “Looks like you’ve got a secret admirer, love. Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Take it and smile!” Tommy grinned when he saw her wear it to work the next day.

*Tommy’s confidence was growing as he left other small gifts and treats. Although it made him nervous, he knew the time was coming for him to reveal his identity. She had been interrogating everyone in the office in an attempt to learn who her secret admirer could be and he knew his secret would be uncovered eventually.

*The last gift Tommy selected was a pair of emerald earrings. He knew from listening to her conversation with Polly that she longed to afford something like that. She would stop by the jeweler’s shop window and stare at them so Tommy knew this would make the perfect gift.

*When he left the earrings, he included a note for the first time. “Please wear these and say you’ll be mine. -TS” His heart beat against his chest as he waited for her to arrive that morning and find his note. 

*He held his breath as she opened the jewelry box. After taking a moment to read the note, she placed it on the desk and Tommy worried she would return the gift and reject him. Then Tommy watched, mesmerized as she began to carefully fasten the earrings one at a time. When she was done, she came running to his office and threw her arms around his neck with joy. “I was hoping it was you,” she said.

#ask box #Tommy Shelby