#elliot was no idiot but he never really got to enjoy life and learn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sweeethinny · 3 years

Text

Boss's son

Summary: Ginny is an auror in training, with few hours of fun in her schedule, but when one night she decides to go to a guy's house and enjoy her youth, she is surprised by the discovery that she had sex with her boss's son

prompt: "You’ve got to stop doing that" "Doing what?" "Saying things that make me wanna kiss you"

"Mum thinks I'm dating you".

Notes: I thought I couldn't finish this, really, I found myself stuck and not knowing where to go with the story, but then some things happened and I managed to finish it.

Thank you very much to Dusk who read and helped me, and thank to @clarensjoy who made this incredible event to celebrate this incredible date!

I feel that this role reversal would be good to write, and it really was, I think the idea of Ginny being an auror ... Chief's kiss :)

AO3

-------------

Ginny Weasley

Ginny did not have many fears, she had joined the Aurors in less than three years and until now she had faced death many times to be frightened by small things that other people could easily be haunted by. Dementors no longer scared her, nor Death Eaters, or anything like that, Ginny was no longer scared like a puppy in distress. She had learned to deal with situations, Mr Potter was a great boss - she would never say otherwise - but he also scared his pupils like no one else, saying that being on the alert was the best way to be a good Auror.

'Good aurors do not shake when they see the danger, they assess the situation and try to find the solution as soon as possible. Take a minute, and you will be dead.' He said in defense classes, standing on the podium with that typical scowl on him, arms crossed, watching the students trying to knock down the mannequins around the room.

But now, Ginny was mortified.

She felt her knees tremble, and she even felt the high heel in her fingers almost falling to the most manicured marble floor she had ever seen in her life. Her eyes were wide open, an immense desire to disappear completely, or to oblivion the man in front of her.

Her boss. Oblivion her fucking boss.

Ginny almost never had time to go out with guys, she went to the bar, drank, and then came home too tired to endure a round of bad sex, with some man who would cry in her ear about how hot she was and how he couldn't take it any longer. She would rather sleep, and later use her fingers, than have to put up with these guys, and clean up the mess later.

Yesterday however, it was a different day, Mr Potter, the most serious man Ginny had ever met in her life, was happy and told her that he was celebrating twenty years of marriage. They were in a distant village, checking a call from a lady who said she saw a wizard kill another one around those parts, but even that didn't seem to be able to wipe the smile off the man's face.

'Twenty years. Can you believe it?' He sighed, looking over to where the woman said there was a body, kicking what was filthy wrapped in old newsprint. Just a dead dog. 'Twenty years...'

'You look very happy,' Ginny said. 'Congratulations, Mr Potter.'

'Thank you, Miss. Weasley, and yes, I am very happy.' The man once again assured that the place was clean before checking to see if there were any dark arts nearby, or on the animal. Nothing. 'Come on, we just wasted time here.'

She had left earlier that day, Mr Potter said he was too happy to be sitting at the office table waiting for something to happen, and since she was his pupil, and she would also have to sit around waiting for some action, she could leave earlier.

Ginny didn't know much to do with that free time, she was usually always bogged down with work, so when Luna asked her out, she accepted. It was a nice night, the bar was not so crowded, there weren't so many disgusting guys leaning against her and whispering in her ear, and she was really enjoying the night, happy, laughing, talking to her friends, drinking, until she saw him.

He was sitting a few tables away, with some Arrows players, drinking and laughing out loud, drawing the attention of all the women around. At first, Ginny thought he was doing it to get attention, messing up his hair like an idiot, throwing his head back to laugh, talking loudly and rocking in his chair. But when a blonde went to talk to him, the boy seemed surprised by the attention, and even blushed, before smiling and politely denying, saying something more to her - this time, in a low voice.

The mysterious man looked at Ginny then, catching her in the act, his eyes behind the round glasses seeming to sparkle with amusement. He bit his lip and raised his beer mug in a silent toast. She did the same, wishing she hadn't been hit hard by him.

'Hello.' He said when Ginny went to the bar to get another round. The man didn't touch her, not even her shoulders, or whisper in her ear. He kept a good distance, smiling politely and ordering his beers.

'Hi.' Ginny smiled, leaning against the counter, feeling a little stupid for wanting the man to notice how beautiful her legs looked in those black skirts. 'Isn't the blonde your type?' She asked, a little sassy because of the alcohol, and also a little affected by how beautiful his green eyes were, stuck in her face as she spoke.

'No. I just came to drink. 'He put his hand on the counter, and Ginny didn't know if it was a way to show that there was no ring on his fingers, or just something casual. Anyway, she realized how all his fingers were free of any silver or gold. 'Is that you?'

'Too. My boss gave me an hour off. It doesn't happen every day. 'She smiled, shrugging.

'An asshole boss?' He raised his eyebrow, leaning on the counter too, now a little closer to her, but without touching her.

'Sometimes.' She joked.

Now Ginny felt mortified, standing on the stairs with her shoes in hand, her hair in a messy and badly done bun, and probably still with makeup traces on her face. Besides that bite mark on her neck. She was taking the walk of shame in front of her boss. The boss that she said was an asshole - sometimes - last night.

She had fucked with her boss's son! Merlin, how stupid she had been to overlook the similarities.

Standing now, looking at Mr. Potter, Harry was an identical copy of him, only a few years younger, and his eyes, of course, that were green. But still, she couldn't even believe it.

Ginny looked like a bitch in front of her boss.

'Good morning.' It was he who said it first, his eyes wide, seeming to try at all costs to remain in her face. Ginny suddenly felt almost naked, thinking about how that shirt was low-cut.

'Good morning, Mr Potter,' she replied, startled, holding tightly to the wooden railing, thinking about how Harry had pressed her there, almost fucking her on the stairs. Ginny swallowed.

The man just nodded, walking hurriedly into the kitchen, his cheeks flushed and avoiding looking at her as much as possible. Ginny ran out of the house as fast as she could, not even waiting to see if he was going to ask her out for breakfast. Merlin, she would see you at work in less than an hour!

Ginny apparated to her home, safe and without a boss catching her leaving his son's room, after having sex with the hottest man she had ever met. By Merlin's underpants, she was lost.

[...]

The atmosphere between the two was completely tense, Ginny and James barely met each other's eyes, or talked in general, she remained at her desk working with the papers they were carrying out, while Mr. Potter remained in his own office, calling her rarely .

Her career was ruined.

Mr. Potter would never refer her to any job again, and maybe he would trade her for the idiot Elliot. Elliot did not have sex with his son and sneaked out the next morning.

It wasn't hidden at least, she needed to work and Harry was sleeping, she left a note saying that.

'Miss. Weasley, come here please.' He called her, as he usually did, but now it seemed that all of her teachings about never letting your opponent realize that you were scared, had gone down the drain. Ginny could already taste the dismissal.

‘Yes, Mr. Potter?’ Ginny stopped at his office door, her knees trembling behind her pants, her hands sweating.

‘Please come in and close the door.’ She would be fired, or changed. Elliot the idiot was going to win the job she had worked so hard to get. She would never be a well-qualified Auror now, she would remain working only as a watchman for the rest of her life. Forget about promotions, trips to specializations, forget about even missions in the field, she would stay locked up in the office forever, visiting only the old women who always thought they had seen something.

All this because she wanted to have sex with a hot guy.

‘About today earlier-’

'I'm sorry, Mr. Potter.' Ginny interrupted him. ‘I didn’t want it to happen, if I had known-’

'I think if you want to apologize, it will have to be for my son and not for me.' James smiled, his cheeks slightly flushed. He took off his glasses to clean them, but Ginny thought it was an excuse for not having to look her in the eye. ‘About today earlier, I don’t think either of us wants to argue about or keep reminiscing about the event. Maybe we should just forget that we saw each other, and go on with life like that ... I think Harry was a little ... er ... worried about not seeing you for breakfast, but I didn't say anything to him. I would, of course, invite you to join us, but when I came back you were already gone...'

'Thank you.' Ginny sighed. ‘What happened in the morning?’

'That is why I chose you as my pupil, Miss. Weasley.' James also sighed, adjusting his glasses on his face. 'But I must tell you that Harry is coming to have lunch with me. If you want to .. I don’t know, leave early for lunch… I don’t know how your relationship with my son is… ’

'It's okay.' She tried not to remember that she had spoken badly about her boss to Harry. Harry's father. ‘Thank you, Mr. Potter, again.’

'You're welcome.'

Ginny didn't want to prove that she was a coward running away from Harry, or to make Mr. Potter think she had any reason to run away from him. So Ginny stayed, stomping her feet anxiously and trying to concentrate on the paperwork in front of her, arranging everything in folders and in alphabetical order, handing out some papers over the tables of the other Aurors who didn't even seem to notice her nervousness, all too busy.

When the big clock struck midday and the elevator opened on their floor, Ginny felt her blood run cold, hearing footsteps approaching and people looking more excited about whoever had entered. Her hand was shaking like a beginner's, trying to detach the sheet.

‘Ginny?’ Her voice called out to him, softly, as if he didn’t want people to look at her. She thanks. 'You work here?'

'Oh, hello Harry.' Ginny finally looked at him, dropping the scrolls and keeping her hands in her lap, watching the boy in front of her. In the daylight he looked even more handsome, messy and dark hair that she remembered to be soft and smelling, a stubble that had pinched her skin in a good way, mesmerizing green eyes, a pink mouth that had done a lot of wonders with her ... The man was a God, looking beautiful even in jeans torn at the knees, a black T-shirt and boots. The cover was open, but Ginny did not fail to notice that the fabric appeared to be of the best quality, held by a single buttercup near his neck. 'Yes.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' He continued to speak softly, but everyone was already starting to turn their necks to try to understand what the hell the chief's son was doing standing at poor Ginny's table.

Now that there was enough light and there was no alcohol running through her body, she thought it was obvious that Harry was James' son. She had been so silly.

‘I didn’t think it was important.’

'Oh, I see you guys met.' Mr Potter interrupted them, which Ginny would thank him later, his hand on his son's shoulder, looking at Ginny and then at Harry, who had a confused look on his face. 'Harry, let's have lunch and let Miss. Weasley can too, we don't want the woman to miss her time, do we?' The squeezing on his son's shoulder seemed to make the man wake up, and like his father, Harry smiled.

'Right. It was a pleasure to meet you, Miss. Weasley. Have a nice day.'

[...]

When Ginny left work, it was as if a giant was coming off her shoulders, and she felt more tired than usual because of the tension. After lunch, the other Aurors did not seem to have swallowed the story that Harry and Ginny had first met that morning, and of course she overheard some guys saying that it was how she got the job of pupil.

Great, she thought, it was all I wanted.

Ignore the years of studying, the sleepless nights, the exhausting post-workout where she cried in the bath, the times she thought about giving up - and almost did - but was stopped by her brothers or her parents, and all those tiring missions that James seemed to do just to exhaust the Aurors and see who could still stand.

Forget all that, she got the job after swallowing the boss's son's dick.

Ginny quickened her pace, angry as never before, feeling that she needed to get home, take a shower, and do something to de-stress.

‘Hey!’ A voice called from behind her, and because of all the tension surrounding her and the training, Ginny squeezed her wand around her waist. 'Can we talk?' A slightly sweaty, pink-cheeked Harry stopped in front of her. He didn't even seem to be feeling the icy weather of March, wearing only sweatpants and a jacket, carrying a bag with him.

'What do you want to talk about?' She pressed the cloak against herself, feeling a little shiver, but maybe it was not about the cold but about the fact that the man looked even hot that way.

'Wow, you don't have to be defensive, I'm not here to fight.' He held up his hands. 'Do you want to go somewhere else? Maybe have a coffee? ’

Ginny knew inside that she shouldn't accept, not after knowing how he felt inside her, on top of her, kissing her body, sucking and licking certain parts, how he moaned her name and held her against him when he came, as if he wanted to be sure that she would feel what she did to him.

It was not a safe plan, it was a suicide mission.

'Of course, it will be better,' she said, ignoring all the warnings that it would not end well. Harry smiled, picking up the backpack he had placed on the floor and walking beside her, in silence.

His scent seemed to fill all around her, and Ginny had to work hard not to show that it was affecting her.

They didn't take long to arrive at the coffee shop, it was close by and Ginny's favorite to eat after a stressful day. All the meals were delicious, a warmth in the heart after a bad time. The decor was cheerful, in contrast to the gray London, the walls were colorful, the tables a cream color with flower pots in the middle, and it was as if winter or bad weather never arrived inside that environment. It was always summer there. The owner, Mrs. Rodrigues, was a friendly and adorable Brazilian, always smiling and talking to whoever came in.

'Hello, Miss Weasley, how are we on that gray afternoon?' The woman asked, with an accent that said she was not from there.

'Now, better than before.' Ginny smiled. ‘Just smelling your carrot cake, I’m already happy.’

'No, dear, don't say that or I will get used to it.' Mrs. Rodrigues blushed, and then smiled at Harry beside Ginny, fixing the white cap on her voluminous hair. ‘What will the two want today?’

'The carrot cake and the Pão de Queijo basket, please.' Ginny asked.

'A coffee, and ... the carrot cake too,' Harry said.

Mrs. Rodrigues wrote down and smiled at both of them, indicating an empty table further down, near the window and the various flowers that Ginny still did not know how she did to keep them alive, and the two went there, in silence, with only the Brazilian music playing in a pleasant volume filling the lack of conversation between them, the voice of some couples and teenagers was mixed by the environment.

'I didn't know you were my boss's son, I have to say that.' Ginny broke the silence first, looking at Harry in front of her, anxious hands playing with the flower pot on the table.

'If you knew...?' Harry seemed nervous for the answer, arms crossed on the table, green eyes fixed on her, waiting for Ginny to say what he should already know.

‘We wouldn’t have gone out together.’ She smiled sadly. 'You understand why, right? I mean, your dad is my boss, he wouldn’t see it in a good way, and my coworkers would think, in fact they already think, that I used this to get to be where I am.’

‘If you want to know, my dad has been trying to get me out with you since he met you.’ Harry said as if talking about the weather, shrugging and smiling, never diverting her attention. ‘I think he was just surprised that he didn’t know you were there, maybe he expected me to say that I went out with you or that someone would tell him, to see you there in the morning, it was something he didn’t expect.’

‘Did you know who I was at the bar?’

'No! No, I didn't know who you were. He was talking about his pupil, and all your qualities as an auror, and seriously, I don't think I've ever seen him speak so well of one of his young aurors.' Ginny wouldn't express, of course, but she felt a little of pride inside her, thinking of the times that Mr Potter put her into more rigid training than the others, just because "she learned faster than the others." He really believed in her potential! Take that, Elliot. ‘Mum thinks I'm dating you, after she heard you were there… She was a little upset that you ran away.’

'I didn't run away,' Ginny defended herself, laughing softly when she saw Harry laugh, imagining that she should be blushing like never before.'I needed to come to work, and I met my boss at the house of the guy I had sex with, there was no way I could stay for coffee.'

'You could.' Harry shrugged. 'Sorry I didn't warn you about my parents, it never happened before, and I was a little too busy.' He blinked, in the way that made Ginny feel like jelly, the slightly arched black eyebrow and the little smile that did it all seem a little too erotic for that afternoon. He didn't even seem to be trying to do that.

'What did not happen? You taking one of your father's Aurors to your home?' She joked, just to dissipate that heat that took over her body, and to remind her of who she was talking to. Son of your boss, son of your boss, son of your boss, Ginny repeated in her mind.

'That too, but I say about taking girls, in general, at home.' Harry licked his lips when the waiter brought their orders, smiling at both of them and apologizing for interrupting the conversation, placing the basket of Pão de Queijo in the middle of the table for the two, and the piece of cake in front of each other, in addition to Harry's coffee.

Ginny's stomach rumbled when she saw the delicious warm and fragrant Pão de Queijo, together with the delicious smell of carrot cake and brigadeiro, she even felt a little less nervous now that she had something else to pay attention to, other than the mesmerizing eyes from Harry.

None of them spoke much after they started eating, other than the moans of satisfaction they shared as soon as they ate the first pão de queijo, focused only on eating that delicious delicacy and letting the music take over their thoughts, as if it were normal for Harry and her shared a table in the afternoon, eating together and being used to the moment.

It was so simple to be with him, so familiar, that it scared Ginny a little bit, whenever she stopped to analyze.

'I feel like you're not going to accept that I ask you out, now that I know about your concern for your co-workers?' Harry asked, pulling the plate of cake closer and picking up a piece, looking focused on just looking at the slice, instead of for Ginny, and she missed his eyes on her.

'It's complicated,' she admitted, looking at her own slice. 'There are not many women in the Auror Department and they already think that I managed to be where I am, just because I did something for your father, and not because I deserved it and worked hard. You understand? It’s a little more difficult for us women to inhabit predominantly male places.’

'I understand.' Harry looked at her, and he didn't seem upset that she denied his request, he seemed upset about the reason that made her do this. 'But you know that you cannot live, listening and taking what they say about you as truth, you know? I'm not saying that for you to go out with me, it’s not that, it's just because ... Everything my father says about you, made me understand that he chose you because you were good, very good, in what you did. You know you are, and how you made it this far, is not what others will say that will change that. They don’t know anything.’

[...]

The days passed faster than Ginny expected, after the meeting with Harry, the hours were confused between studying for the test that would take place at the end of the month and working, Mr Potter did not comment on his son, and Harry did not appear for more. there too. Now that she was paying attention, Ginny noticed that there was a picture of the boy in the chief's office, Harry, a child, teenager, and adult, wearing the Arrows' uniform.

He also started to appear in the newspaper, now that he had officially joined the team, and it wasn't just a reserve, so Ginny ended up seeing him during breakfast, stamping the sports column.

She also saw him at night, before going to sleep, when they were calling to talk in the mirror, the two tired, telling about what the day had been like. She said she couldn't accept going out with him, not being a friend.

Although she thought things that friends did not think about each other, and sometimes Harry flirted with her, without much pretension, seeming to just do it naturally.

‘You’ve got to stop doing that’ He said, biting his lower lip as if he wanted to hold himself back from laughing, lying shirtless while talking to her, who was putting the books in the drawer, getting ready to go to bed.

'Doing what?' Ginny asked, taking the mirror from the dresser and going to the bed, leaving the candle light still on so he could see it.

‘Saying things that make me wanna kiss you’

'Harry ...' Ginny warned him, blushing like a tomato, only to hear him laugh and blink those beautiful green eyes towards her.

"I'm not doing anything, besides, your exams are next week, which means I'm almost close to being able to take you on a real date." They had agreed this, in fact, it was Ginny who brought it up. a week after the James incident, just because she started thinking hard about how good that night had been, and how much better it would be if there was no alcohol in her blood and she didn't have to face the boss the next morning, before she even brushed the teeth.

After she took the test, they could leave, but still, it was very public until the result came out. Ginny didn't want anyone to doubt her ability, nor did the fact that dating Harry influence James' thinking.

'But then, there is still a week to go.' She reminded him.

'How are you feeling?'

'Anxious,' she admitted, thinking again about how easy it was to open up to Harry. 'How was the training today?' He moved, the noise of the sheets making her think things inappropriate for that moment.

'Tiring, I have pain in my thighs.' Harry made a lovely face, his nose slightly wrinkled.

'Poor thing about you.' Ginny tuned her voice as if she were talking to a baby, which made the man laugh, something that always made Ginny have her ego boosted a thousand times.

Harry looked cute laughing.

'You could come here and help me, I know that Aurors know how to do very good healing spells.' He blinked, and this time it was Ginny who laughed.

'Shut up. Good night, Harry. 'Ginny felt and saw that her cheeks got even hotter, but Harry didn't seem affected, he seemed to approve of that.

'Good night, Weasley ... One week, I'm counting.' He smiled, and something inside her trembled in excitement and excitement so that the week would pass soon.

'I know you do, Potter. Bye. ’

#hinny #hinny ficfest #jily lives #no choosen one #no voldemort #harry x ginny #hinny AU #ginny is a badass auror #harry is a quidditch player #harry and ginny

96 notes · View notes

passable-talent · 3 years

Text

guess what I’m up to?

if you guessed “writing for another obscure hayden christensen character before that movie disappears from Tubi”, you’d be correct!

David Rice x GN!Reader, Jumper (2008)

ik this movie was based on a book but i have not read it. forgive me if, when i play around with the rules of jumping, it violates what the book says a jumper can do. I’m gonna operate with the best understanding i can. also i’m changing the ending woooo

At fourteen, you met a boy. His name was Elliot Rhodes- and he was a jumper.

At first it was freaky, sure. Finding out that teleportation is real? It would freak anybody out.

But it... it also explained a lot of things. It explained the way that you’d always wake up in your bed when you swore you passed out on the couch. It explained the way that you’d sometimes walk in the front door, not really remembering the bus ride home. It explained how you’d pop into a different room when you’d only taken half as many steps as you needed to.

Were you a jumper, too?

You met Elliot when you were fourteen, and life was good for five years. He was your best friend, he was more than that. He helped you learn how to jump, helped you hide it from your parents, from the school. The both of you knew that you should be hiding your ability, could feel that it was a secret you had to keep, but didn’t quite know why.

Then, five years into your relationship, when you’d finally figured out how to live, how to use your powers to make a living without being found out, when you were just about ready to leave your parent’s place and move into the cabin in Canada his parents left for him-

Death came for you, on his pale white horse. But it was his hair that was white, instead. And he didn’t come for you, exactly.

Roland Cox. He appeared at Elliot’s home, and killed him. Then, before you even had your hand on your phone to call the police, someone else jumped into the room.

You’d lashed out at him, throwing him away from Elliot, but he pushed you back, getting right to business.

He knew who Roland was. He knew why he’d come. He introduced himself, his name was Griffin- and he offered you a chance to help him get back at Roland.

Griffin didn’t really hold up to his word. He couldn’t trace Roland any better than you could’ve, but you were happy to have an ally, someone who had a mission, and a mission that would keep you out of your grief. You channeled your anger into hunting paladins, just like Griffin did. He wasn’t the easiest person to get along with, but he was a good guy... somewhere, deep down.

He was somewhat understanding of you. He recognized your grief, found it similar to his own. And, in the four years you’d been hanging out with him, you’d become a pretty skilled fighter. You’d learned the tricks- you were a paladin hunter.

It was a pretty solid new life. Given the superpowers and the dead boyfriend and the newfound target on your back from some ridiculous religious zealots, you could’ve done a lot worse.

And then, along came David.

David Rice. You’d seen him a thousand times, even if it wasn’t actually him. He was just another jumper who’d never had a run-in with the paladins, who’d never lost someone to the paladins, just another idiot who robbed a bank (unoriginal), and took his girlfriend on an ill-advised trip (bland). There was nothing exceptional about David Rice.

Well, he was cute. A little.

Okay, fine, he’s really cute. He’s a jackass, but he’s got a sweet smile. And he’s still a little puppy dog, following after a girl that he’s not into, but he’s convinced himself he’s still in love with.

Textbook. You’d seen it a thousand times. It was something that a lot of jumpers did, using their new power and money and suave to find the person they were in love with before things changed, and wooing them. It always worked, at first, but things fell apart, because those amateurs could never keep it together. Even if they did manage to keep their partners out of the claws of the paladins, the secrets or the lying did them in. Most of the time, these jumpers weren’t even in it for the people, anymore. Just like David- he didn’t love her, not anymore. He just loved the idea of getting what he’d always wanted.

When you saw him, at a bar in London, you had this quick little thought, ‘he’s not gonna last long.’

No, no, he was more impressive than that. He showed up at the Colosseum, and Griffin followed, assuming that the paladins weren’t far behind. And he was right, he always was, and you got to have plenty of fun moving around and fucking with paladins.

“Ya know,” you said with a laugh when one of them had their eyes on you, their cables tearing up another priceless stone wall, “you sure don’t have much respect for history.”

They managed to get a cable around you, and you felt that familiar tingle of lots and lots of electricity roll through you. But you were used to this, and you slipped out of your outer layer, then using the fabric to hold onto the cable and jump it through a wall, so it couldn’t be yanked out by any human force. Now, it was useless, and they had one less weapon.

You jumped in front of them, and slipped your jacket back over your shoulders.

“Loose fabric,” you said with a smirk, then landed a strong punch across his jaw.

You jumped back to Griffin’s lair with unconscious paladin in tow, and quickly handcuffed him to the usual spot. Griffin wasn’t far behind with the other, but then, David appeared too.

Griffin kicked him out, fast.

“Yeah, he’s dead in a week, tops,” you said with a shake of your head. Griffin rolled his eyes, and started his work with the same level of anger and annoyance that he always did.

A few hours passed in silence. Griffin had a new controller, so you let him ramble on about whatever game he was playing while you stretched out on the short couch you’d swiped from a closing furniture store a few months back. It was the closest to peace you ever seemed to get anymore, at least whenever you hung out with Griffin. But then David came back. He had nagging questions, they always did, when they managed to get ahold of Griffin. It usually didn’t change their fates.

No, what changed their fates was when someone they cared about died. It happened to Griffin. It happened to you. And when he discovered his dad dead, it happened to David, too. So he wanted to help hunt Roland.

Join the club.

David gathered up the most recent intel Griffin had on Roland- which just so happened to be what you’d given him, four years ago. You watched from across the room as he and Griffin got into a bit of a tiff.

Griffin pulled out the scars on his neck, to prove to David the high stakes he was messing with. That caught your attention- Griffin wasn’t one to be vulnerable.

“Look, forget it! Forget Roland. Don’t waste your time.” Griffin righted his shoulders, taking a step back. “Just leave it to me.” He went off to his business out of your line of sight, which just left David. You still hadn’t really said a word to the man, too focused on Griffin’s drama to pay the new guy much attention. But you stood, taking a step closer to him, so now you could at least see Griffin working at his safe. Like always when he pulled the key from around his neck, you looked away. David hadn’t yet learned that lesson.

Just like it had been when you first arrived, David awkwardly turned his back to the safe while Griffin entered it. You still didn’t quite know what was in there, but you knew it was important, and you knew it was dangerous. There were a few obvious conclusions you could leap to.

“I’m-” David started, letting out a little breath. He really wasn’t prepared for any of this, was he? How long had he been jumping without running into the paladins?

“I was thinking that if we do this together, we could get him.”

“Oh, no,” you said with a bit of a laugh, laying your head back against the stone wall. “He’s a solo act. He only keeps me around ‘cause I’m so charming.”

“No, you’re not,” Griffin threw over his shoulder, and you only laughed at him. “Look, I’m sorry, but I don’t play well with others.” When you heard the safe close, you lifted your head back to the two of them, and watched as Griffin paced toward the doorway. You followed only after David did, and noticed him heading toward one of his vehicles, an old trailer- why Griffin liked to mess with it before he jumped, you didn’t quite get. It wasn’t going to move, anyway.

“Do me a favor, yeah?” Griffin asked David, “Don’t be here when I get back. Find a rock, crawl under it, stay there.” He turned back to David, and you watched with a raised eyebrow from against the doorway.

“ ‘Joi woo’, brother,” He said, and you rolled your eyes. “That’s ‘goodbye’ in Chinese.”

For some reason, you didn’t think it was.

He stabbed a knife into the tarp and jumped, and though you hoped that was the end of it, David followed him through his jump scar.

Perfect. Just perfect.

You followed as well, hoping to at least keep David out of trouble. When he followed Griffin, you just kept pace beside him, sticking to him in a way you knew would annoy him. You were like a bystander, letting the two of them figure out their annoyances with each other, staying out of it. It took him what seemed like half of the length of Tokyo until he finally got around to the point.

“And I know where to find Roland.”

“Why didn’t ya lead with that?” You asked, smacking the back of your hand against David’s shoulder.

Griffin turned away, but the two of you followed. He swiped a car, you loved when he does that, because it’s always a really nice one, and you get to lean out of it and feel the wind. David took shotgun, and that’s fine, he’s the one with the special information or whatever. Didn’t matter, you could just enjoy the way that Griffin drives. He’s fun.

All the sudden, David jumped to an airport, and the both of you followed. After a quick conversation, it was time to jump back to the lair, get some weapons together. You pulled on your loosest hoodie, knowing you’d probably need it, if they were bringing cables to whatever fight you were about to have. Was there a plan? It’s not like you were listening, but it didn’t seem to you like David had exactly explained where he planned on finding Roman.

“Hey, what the hell?” You snarled when he jumped into the lair with his little girlfriend. “Oh, no, no, you can not bring her here. No way.”

“Look, I gotta keep her safe, alright? Where’s Griffin?”

“Out front. You have to get her out of here.” Your words fell on deaf ears as he charged out to get Griffin, and you watched with a bit of annoyance as the girl followed. What was her name? Millie? Poor lamb probably didn’t know anything of what was going on at all.

You heard whispering behind you, and turned around with a drop of your heart. Oh, this was bad, this was bad. They’d used- they had a wormhole, right into the lair.

“Griffin!” You shouted, and not a moment later he appeared beside you, the same look of dread on his face that you were feeling in your chest. David appeared, then, and Griffin turned on him instantly.

“What have you done?”

“Griffin-”

“Where does this thing go?”

“We gotta go.”

“David, what did you do?!”

The both of them jumped away, and it seemed like you were the only one who had any sense at all.

You jumped immediately to the mouth of the lair, where you found Millie, looking confused and terrified. Naturally. Good for her, honestly, for keeping it together as much as she was.

“ ‘ello, love,” you said, “Millie, right?” You took hold of her hands and jumped her away, far away, where she’d be much safer. On the other side, you waited for just a moment for her to get her wits together, so she’d register your words.

“Stay here, okay? I mean it. Don’t go outside. There’s water and food and power, you’ll be fine. Just- seriously. Stay here.” You jumped back, then, to the mouth of the lair, hoping that when you entered, you wouldn’t be interrupting something important.

Well, judging by the use of Griffin’s flamethrower, something important was happening.

There were two men, plus Roland. As much as you wanted to take on Roland yourself, Griffin seemed to have that covered, and there were others you needed to deal with. With just a grab to the shoulder, one of them took a nice fun drop into the Mariana Trench.

What? You’d read a book on it, once.

The other was charred to a crisp, it seemed, and so you went looking for the only other person unaccounted for.

“David?” You called into the lair, and you heard him groaning, along with the crackle of electricity.

“Where’s Millie?” He asked, and you rounded the corner to see him strung up to the ceiling.

“Somewhere safe, relax,” you said, shucking your hoodie off of your shoulders to wrap the fabric around your hands and grab onto the cables. Once you had them, you could jump away easily, pulling them off of him. You jumped back, slipping your hoodie back on, and gave him a cocky smile.

“Loose fabrics,” you said, then jumped away to try to find out what Griffin was up to.

A double-decker bus, that’s what. Then came Roland, and then came Griffin with the flame-thrower. When they both disappeared into the jump scar, David rounded on you, narrowing his eyes.

“Where’s Millie?” he snarled, and you took a step back.

“She’s fine, I told you! She’s safe!”

“Where is she?” David roared, and you shoved him away from you.

“She’s fine! Christ, boy, you don’t even love her, anyway!”

That caught him off guard.

“What?”

“Oh, god,” you groaned, turning your head before snapping your eyes to him, more ferocity in your gaze. “You know you don’t. You’re just holding onto the last thing you had when things were normal.”

“Where is she?” He said again, taking an intimidating step toward you.

“I get it, okay?” You said, though now you were yelling. “I get it. But you’re putting her in danger! David, just let her go. You’re never going to be able to protect her. Not from them.” David’s eyes widened for just a moment, and then he looked down. You could see it as he gave in.

“Let me take her home. At least let me do that.”

“Sorry,” you said softly, “The place I put her, I- I can’t let anyone else see it. You gotta understand.”

Before it could get any worse, Griffin threw himself through the jump scar.

“Nice,” he said as he righted himself, then immediately opened his safe. “The whole lot of them are in that apartment.”

“Oh, you’re finally gonna use the safe?” You asked, watching as he punched a few buttons.

“I’ll take ‘em all out while they’re still there.”

“That’s Millie’s apartment!” David said, and Griffin turned to him with a shrug.

“She’s not there,” he said, nonchalantly, as though it was obvious. What’s the harm in destroying the apartment if no one innocent dies in it?

Griffin readied the safe and jumped away, leaving you and David behind. You turned to him, raising your gaze to his. He still looked vaguely angry.

“She’s-” You turned your head to the side, before you could finish the sentence. You hadn’t told anyone about the cabin, not even Griffin. “She’s in Canada. Near a lake. She’s got water and power, nobody knows about it but me. She’s fine. But-” You gestured toward where the jumpscar to her apartment used to be, “Now she’s got nowhere to go back to.”

“I know where her mom lives,” David said, shaking his head. “I’ll take her there.” You nodded slowly, then brought your gaze to his. He had- he had really blue eyes. Strikingly blue. You knew he couldn’t get to the cabin without following your scar, so you made him wait for you, made him wait until this moment ended. He didn’t seem to mind.

“Hey, thanks,” he said after a moment, “You got her out of there.” He was speaking a bit gentler now, and this tone of voice you could certainly get used to. Was he being genuine with you? That was new.

“Well, she seemed important.”

“Yeah,” David said, a small smile finally growing on his face, and even though it was dark, you could swear you saw him begin to blush. Bashful little fucker. “We never even- Rome, I-”

“Save it,” you said with a smile, reaching out to take his hand, which was surprisingly warm. You jumped him to the cabin, and found Millie curled up on the couch, looking out the window at the lake.

“Sorry about all this, love,” you said, letting David have his moment.

“Just take me home,” she said with a bit of a whimper, and you shook your head, even as you walked to the cabinet to grab a packet of crackers.

“Sorry, love, that apartment’s gone. Kinda had to. Hope you understand.”

“What?” Millie asked in disbelief.

“Really, (Y/N)?” David asked over his shoulder, before taking Millie’s hands and jumping her out of your cabin.

You were meant to move here, with Elliot. This wasn’t even technically your place, even though you’d taken it up. Every now and again, you still missed him- but now that Griffin had taken care of Roland, it didn’t hurt so bad anymore.

Four years was a long time to heal, maybe. But you’d needed it. And now that you had, and Roland was gone, and the world was just a bit safer for you- maybe you could consider trying again.

Maybe with someone that had strikingly blue eyes. And surprisingly warm hands.

-🦌 Roe

#jumper 2008 #jumper #david rice #david rice x reader #x gn!reader #gender neutral reader #david rice jumper #david rice jumper x reader #hayden christensen #fics

97 notes · View notes

whats-rambled-rambled · 3 years

Text

Long Nights - playlist

You can find it on Spotify here.

Eddie Vedder - Long nights

I’ve already talked about it in another post a bit, so--

For the first time, I had a full series figured out even before I started writing. All the arcs, main plot points, even the final conversation! I even had a 3h long playlist with all the songs that would come in handy along the way, but still, none of them was the one (so basically same thing that happened with Smoke series)

I started thinking about the main theme and/or drive for our new Reader, and then it hit me. There already is a story with that vibe, and it has such an amazing soundtrack.

So I opened Spotify and browsed through the album.

And I found it.

The overall mood was not something that was going to be helpful at the beginning of the series, but oh my, those lyrics were it for all the things I had planned.

//Have no fear

For when I'm alone

I'll be better off than I was before//

That’s R, all right. Not afraid to be alone, she prefers it. Nothing can hurt her, unlike when she gets too invested. Commitment issues and whatnot.

//Long nights allow me to feel...

I'm falling...I am falling

The lights go out

Let me feel

I'm falling

I am falling safely to the ground//

Knowing what I was about to put R through, this looks only fitting, don’t you think?

Chapter 1: Sigrid - Don’t kill my vibe

I could see LN!R so clearly. I wanted to explore some of my favourite rogue tropes, and she was perfect for it. In my head, she was definitely younger than the other two from my previous series. A bold type, a joker, but serious when it comes to her craft. Not with the same heavy emotional baggage (not at the start, at least - I felt like, opposed to Smoke!R who was more about distracting herself when she felt too much, our new R would be more about denial, or hiding her issues behind her jokes).

I found this song on some random playlist, and I knew it was her.

//You shut me down, you like the control

You speak to me like I'm a child

Try to hold it down, I know the answer

I can shake it off and you feel threatened by me

I tried to play it nice but

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't kill my vibe

Oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Don't break my stride//

To me, that was that moment she gets dragged into the car. Not having the obvious lies TP feeds her, definitely finding them all and the stuff they throw at her hilarious, calling them out on their bullshit without thinking twice over it.

//Guess you're surprised I'm the puzzle you can't figure out//

That got me an idea for part 2 and the coffee situation - come on, you know I can’t resist that trope when it comes to Neil, I think it’s an excellent way to get to know the characters a little bit and tell something more about the dynamic.

Tom Grennan - I might

To me, it’s another character introduction song.

//Oh I love, oh I love, love my freedom//

....you already know what I’m getting at, right?

//Don't want no one taking up my time

Staying on my mind, changing up my life

Don't want no one messing up my bed

Fucking with my head, it's no lie//

That’s her. R hates to be manipulated, that’s why she’s mad at Mahir. I didn’t want to put all the angst here, but I knew there was something deeper hidden there, after his comment about her trust issues. I didn’t know what exactly, but I knew it would come in handy later.

There was one spin on the story I was playing with - where she actually lets them all lead her on for a while, a whole elaborate ruse to get her invested and onboard, but that was a lot of drama quite early on, and I wanted this to be a lighter series (oh shush, I am well aware how that played out in the end, I tried, alright? Not my fault I apparently can’t come up with a story without sprinkling it with a shitload of angst)

//But when you look at me like that

I might//

See, this is when I stopped. I didn’t think R would be falling head over heels for Neil right from the start. That’s why the heart beating faster at the end of the chapter was supposed to be about the lock and something finally sparking her curiosity, taking her out of the boredom of everyday life.

Kings of Leon - Find me

That’s more chapter-specific.

//I really wanna know your name

See your face, know who you are, who you are

How did ya find me, how did ya find me?

What are you looking for, are you looking for

How did ya find me how did ya find me

Up in the shadow, picking up my load//

I found it quite fitting the moment R meets Neil again and he drags her to a back alley, and then again, in the car. She isn’t scared, more like fascinated, she finds the whole thing exciting, even.

American Authors - I’m born to run

Oh my god, the vibe of this song! This is that need for freedom and carelessness I needed to tap into.

//I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

I'm gonna spend my time like tomorrow won't come

Do whatever I want like I'm born to run

I wanna see Paris, I wanna see Tokyo

I wanna be careless even if I break my bones

I'm gonna live my life like I'm gonna die young

Like it's never enough, like I'm born to run

All these things I've seen and done

I live my life like I'm born to run//

The Pretty Reckless - Prisoner

Another random song I found one day while I was cooking breakfast. I was like “oooh, I dig that!” and then I listened to the lyrics and I knew I needed it for this story.

//You could have my body

But you can't have me

I know I'm a criminal

Don't you tell on me//

That’s it. Her. I knew that would be handy for the moment Neil breaks after all the teasing. And that criminal bit. I mean - come on!

Missy Elliot - Work it

(This is technically part 2 but it was messing with the flow on the playlist and I’m leaving it here)

Okay, this is quite meta and corny, because this is probably one of the oldest jokes you can find for Tenet, and I’ve been battling with myself if I should even put it here, but I referenced it in the chapter, so here we are. I’ve loved this song for years, and when I was trying to think what would R listen to while she tries to clear her head while she works on the bloody inverted lock - that was the only thing that seemed appropriate.

//Come on

Is it worth it? Let me work it

I put my thang down, flip it and reverse it

Ti esrever dna ti pilf nwod gnaht ym tup i//

...you see what I mean?

Chapter 2: Praise you

God, okay, this song - when I heard it while I was working on the story, it brought a movie-like montage of scenes in front of my eyes. You know the type, when they try to show you how the time passes, how someone progressively becomes better at something. That was Neil, working on those locks. R giving him tips, then teasing him. The way he loses his cool, only to slowly gain confidence, and then how she ups her game, both of them getting their bits of satisfaction from the whole game.

//We've come a long long way together

Through the hard times and the good

I have to celebrate you baby

I have to praise you like I should//

Have I ever told you when exactly I got the idea for the series? When I was writing that hostage situation fic and the moment R remembers her lockpicking sessions. I thought - what if it was the other way around? What if that was Neil who was about to start learning about picking locks?

It had so much potential for ✨hand content✨ and how could I resist?

...And I knew that R would see what I’m seeing, and she would rather like it. And the image of a very flustered Neil while she teases the hell out of him? Yep, yep, yep.

Sam Fender - Start again

This one definitely starts that montage as well, the repetition of going over and over again. Even if the whole song is definitely heavier than I needed, I decided to keep it, mostly for this part:

//Let's start again

Let's learn to talk

Without the fear of being heard

'Cause everybody's listening to everything and everybody

Let's pull the cord

Move below

Let's start again//

Chapter 3: Billy Raffoul - Difficult

Ah, Billy. And when I found this one, I got goosebumps, because I instantly knew that if I had to choose one song for them, it would probably be this one.

//You never get lost in love, you only get lost in me

You never can get enough of whatever you think you need

No matter how hard I try I never can beat this rush

Ain't nobody get me high, feel lighter when we touch//

This fits them so well, innit? We know how R feels about this whole love thing, she enjoys a good shag, and I had a feeling that after such a build-up, that night together would be something quite amazing, for both of them.

//We never get lost in love, we only get lost in sheets

You'd rather just shut me off whenever we get too deep//

That’s the moment when they have a vibe check in the morning. They had fun. Is it gonna affect their dynamic? They’re attracted to each other, they understand one another. Can they keep it casual? We know that R can, or at least she thinks so, but what about Neil? We know he’s a soft idiot, but I specifically imagined a bit younger version of him for this story - he had to be, if he was just learning about lockpicking. So the whole “no dating, just sex” could be fine with him for a while, but would he catch feelings anyway? Probably, yeah. And sooner than later.

//And now I'm standing in the rain

And your hair, it's falling in your face

And I know we're doing the right thing//

Not the rain, but shower, kinda works too, right? And I already knew that the rain would be a pretty important factor a little bit further into the story.

//But I can't help wondering, who will take my place?//

Ouch.

//On and off, difficult

Too in love to let it go

Now, who's gonna hold me like you do?//

The emotions in this bit, dear lord. It’s this high that takes your breath away, sweeps you off your feet, scorches the reality, and leaves no survivors.

That being said, I don’t think they are really in love at this point. They really care for each other, though, that’s where the softness comes from.

//Hmm who's gonna hold you like I do?//

I literally gasped when I heard that last line. Hits right in the heart, just as I like it.

Rhys Lewis - Waking up without you

There’s something in this song that makes it incredibly sexy. It was great for the morning after vibe, where they don’t really have enough of each other yet.

//Skin on skin

We didn't finish what we started

Heart to heart

I'm missing your love//

Keir - Probably

The way it flows? How powerful the chorus is? It’s heavy, hot, and just makes my heart beat faster.

//Colliding were the walls

And I forget where I began

I wish I could remember love//

Holy fuck. It always makes me think of something awakening deep inside R, definitely not ready to be acknowledged at that moment in the story.

//Probably underneath

There's a remedy

Possibly in the air

In the oxygen I breathe

Probably//

And this part is just mind-blowing. There’s this longing there, and if that feeling isn’t perfect for something more steamy, then I don’t know what is.

Dermot Kennedy - Glory

This one just… expands my heart? I don’t know how else to explain it. Especially the chorus. And then when I think of it in the context of the story, I somehow place it in TP’s office, when Neil gets all protective and doesn’t want to risk taking Reader on a mission where something can so easily go wrong, only because he isn’t prepared enough.

//A set of eyes had pinned him

Became his version of a kingdom

She's everything the devil can't be

When she's singing to me "Glory"//

Maybe that’s when he starts to realize that he cares more than he thought.

Rhys Lewis - Living in The City

If the previous song was Neil’s perspective, we’re back to R. Just look at the lyrics:

//I've been living in the city too long

I've been given everything that I've got

Been a sinner and a saint

Crazy, and sane

I've been living in the city too long//

We’re kinda circling back to part 1, that need to skip town, right?

//There's a part of my soul that wants to let go

Wants to just run away

But the rest of my soul says I should stay

I should stay//

And now we’re back when she can say that the mission is not her problem, she did the best she could, and TP can go fuck himself. Is it just that she feels responsible for her student? Or she likes him enough so she has to make sure he succeeds and comes back? Or she sees a friend in need, something to open, and doesn’t think twice about it?

Chapter 4: Bastille - World gone mad

God, do I love this song.

//So this is where we are

It's not where we had wanted to be

If half the world's gone mad

The other half just don't care, you see

You don't want to fuck with us

British to the very last

When it feels like the world's gone mad

And there's nothing you can do about it

No there's nothing you can do about it//

It felt so accurate for the part when R gets to see all that inverted reality? There’s a slight heaviness of heart there, and it matches the mood when she feels overwhelmed. On the other hand, there’s a bit of hope, the feeling of not being alone in this mad world, and that’s all that matters.

Who’s Molly - Touch the sky

Badass. Pure and simple. It hypes you up, brings a smile to your face, makes you believe everything is possible.

//We can never see beyond that horizon.

And no one knows this road and where it's going to lead.

But there's one thing, one thing that's for certain.

We'll make it through.

If you were here with me.//

That softer bit with inverted guns. And later on, throughout the chapter. They both find comfort in each other’s presence on the mission, after all.

//I wasted so much time trying to find a meaning.

I never looked up, couldn't seem to turn around.

And then you crashed in, and you gave my life a reason.

You pick me up, so high and my feet won't touch the ground, no no no.

Never would have thought I could win this battle.

I was left for dead, every hope in tatters.

We're going to set the world alight tonight.

Cause we can touch the sky!//

That’s the excitement and fun they’re having on the training grounds, not at all stressed about what’s to come.

//Close your eyes, free your soul.

You feel it, don't try it, then you’ll never know.//

Ah, and we’re here at my favourite reference to feeling something, thank you Mr Nolan, sir, so useful.😌

Dermot Kennedy - Young & free

Another one by Dermot Kennedy, and definitely not the last.

//All that she said to me stays with me, never to die

Held me brand new in the silence that went through the pines

Like I said already darling, I don't want you looking back at all the ghosts left behind

Know you'll stay near me so road remains hopeful this time

We were young

We were free, come on now, let it go//

The little whiplash in the mud, where they share a short moment, before they follow with the crackheadery, maybe partly to push back from coming close to something more meaningful. Because it’s there already, kindling, waiting to be spotted and recognized.

James Gillespie - Don’t let me get me

Okay, so - the original song by P!nk was always something that resonated with me, so when Spotify recommended that one, I was like “okay, I’m not sure why but let’s try it.” And then it brought me to that scene in the container.

//I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating//

To be honest, I didn’t plan on R to have such a strong case of a mean brain. It was supposed to be a lighter series 🙃. But as you already know, those characters have minds of their own, and it kinda sorta happened. I knew it would be more of a simple panic than full-blown panic attacks that haunted StuckIn!R, topped with pretty loud intrusive thoughts causing her to spiral, especially when she was exhausted.

Ruelle - Oh my my

Listen to that one and tell me you don’t want to go on a sneaky mission, I dare you. I even had it noted as my title song, but then I switched to Bastille.

//I can feel it in my bones, in my bones

Hear it rumble like a drum, like a drum

Like a vapor in the wind, in the wind

You never see us creeping in, creeping in

Oh my my, oh my my

You never stood a chance

...

Ready or not, here we come//

The vibe is just amazing. The low-key hype? Is that a thing? It must be. And those drums! Even quite fitting for a patter of rain, one might argue.

Speaking of rain--

Chapter 5: Dermot Kennedy - After rain

The title alone is perfect for this chapter, but the rest of it - my poor heart. This chapter and the finale have some of the most beautiful and/or heart-wrenching songs I’ve ever heard, and this one is definitely one of them.

//But it's alright because

You cause lanterns to light

And force demons disperse

And if Lucifer may fear the swift drying of tears

Then, for evil, you could not be worse

But I see you now, yeah, I see you

And release me now, kinda like dreams do

And I see you now, was hard to see you

Just don't forget to sing

Remember everything//

So we have Neil storming off from the bathroom because he’s clearly going through something. The immense guilt brewing inside him, overflowing and backfiring, when he can’t cope with seeing her so battered, knowing that she may never fully recover, and just because he hesitated out there. The fear is there, but also other feelings he tries to keep in check now.

I had that image of R asking him to stay, then just breaking down in the darkness. I was aware it would only add to the issues Neil already had, but it would be nothing compared to the fact that she needs him, and he’d be ready to push everything that bothered him away to comfort her.

Humming a lullaby that he promised her in the container. And R recognized it (kind of), because he used parts of it to plead with her to stay with him after the fall, so she could one day hear the whole thing, because she took that rain check and she needed to cash it in, right?

...yeah, I like breaking my own heart, why? (should I write that part one day?)

//If you think just maybe it's her

Then promise me, young man, you're gonna let her know

You won't go lonely, yeah

It'll all be better in the morning

'Cause while you sleep, I'll build a wall//

Aquillo - Six feet over ground

Whenever I hear this song now, my mind goes to that scene in the bathroom.

//Today's the day I found myself alright

When I look ahead, pretend it never came.

I found a way to keep my head above

But the hardest part is to say 'No it's not'

Well I'm okay, and I'm still breathing

I'm still six feet over ground

But you don't need to know now

You don't need to know how I'm doing//

They both hide how they really feel. That they are not okay. They’re both scared, blaming themselves. Reader doesn’t want to worry Neil too much, but she also tries to convince herself that she is fine. And a moment of peace they share shatters as soon as she downplays what happened aloud, and when Neil goes off, she hides behind yet another joke, and then behind a blindfold.

Aquilo - Silhouette

The one for when R tells Neil goodnight and then can’t fall asleep. //Devil's on your shoulder

Strangers in your head

As if you don't remember

As if you can forget

It's only been a moment

It's only been a lifetime

But tonight you're a stranger

Some silhouette //

When he comes to check in on her, and something feels off. She’s lost, yet finds enough strength to ask him to stay.

//Just hold me//

Nathan Ball - Drifting

//I can see in your eyes

When you lie awake at night

You convince yourself you're fine, it's alright

To keep on drifting

With the drugs keeping you high

They catch you falling from the sky

I keep asking myself why

You stand by

And keep on drifting

…

So tell me what you hold inside

Tell the backstreets of your mind

You're still lonely as a child

Teary eyed

Kept on drifting//

Knowing our Reader a bit longer by now, I knew what would happen if she was to be left alone with her thoughts, in pain, and with Neil being weirdly distant.

Have you ever lied in bed, crying silently, trying not to wake up the person next to you but getting absolutely torn apart by the sadness roaring inside you? It’s a different kind of loneliness, not helping in the slightest when you’re biting back sobs. Anyway,--

//So take my hand and hold on

Take my hand don't let go//

That’s something that happened almost organically with these two. Part of their language, hand touches as a sign of support.

I gotta admit, I watched Shadow and Bone already being in the middle of writing the series and seeing how overused the hand-holding flashback was... it there made me slightly cringe every time it came up in the story I was writing later on. On the other hand (hah), it was so them. It had to stay.

Dean Lewis - Need you now - Acoustic

//Cold light wakes me in the morning,

Your side is empty I was calling out to you,

I was calling out to you.//

That’s the next day after R’s breakdown, but check out the next lyrics.

//But I don't need your love,

I just need your

Talking next to me when I wake up, wake up

Talking next to me when I wake up next to you,

When I'm hungover too.

Cause you're the only one who comes when I'm lonely,

You're the only one who comes when I'm lonely for you,

When I'm lonely for you.

All that I need is a sweet escape,

And all that I need is a sweet escape.

...

Cause I don't need your love

But I just need you now

And I don't need your love

I just need you now//

This, y’all, is R, still convinced that it’s not about love, and it’s so perfectly put into words, but the music and the vocals are dripping with longing, making it even more spot-on for the occasion.

RHODES - Breathe

The emotions captured in this… holy shit. They clench my chest and make me struggle for breath. This could have been a song playing in the background when R wakes up from a nap to Neil having a breakdown of his own.

//Mind break in two,

There's a light in the sky, there's a light

And it's all for you

Dawn colors all

Tell me how do you feel?

Tell me how do you need to heal?//

Looking for his hand, only to find a clenched fist. And when she realizes he’s been crying and she hears how broken he is, that’s enough to make her heart shatter, doubly so because he’s agonizing over something she feels responsible for.

//Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I'll keep you warm

Come on!

Breathe, release it all

Come on now, I need your love

Come on now!//

To me, every “come on”, repeated with urgency, is how desperate she is to make him stop spiraling down when she kisses him, and then again, more purposefully, until he gives in and comes back to her.

Circa Waves - Fire that burns - Acoustic

The one for ✨the moment✨.

//Comfort me, oh comfort me

I'm lighting up

To see the day you run for me

You run for me, my love//

Because they both seek comfort in the act, two broken people mending whole in each other’s embrace. Ultimately, finding there something more, whether they are ready to acknowledge it or not.

//But I've been tied up

For days

And I've been thinking of the things that you say

And I've been wound up

Each way

I need to let you know, to let you know today//

Neil already knows how important she is to him. And that’s what he tries to say between the choked-out words, that he thought he’d lost his chance to tell her how much she means to him.

//You call me a liar

You call me so innocent

But you lit the fire

You lit the fire that burns

The fire that burns inside us

I'm not innocent

I lit the fire, the fire, the fire

I lit the fire//

Oh yes, that bit definitely seeped into the chapter.

The XCERTS - Feels like falling in love - alternative version

//Keep yourself safe, keep yourself safe she said

You broke your own heart but there's no need to lose your head

Keep yourself sane, keep yourself sane he said

You gotta give up, give up, give up the dark

To start again//

You can see it, right?

Outlining the whole story, I knew that part 5 would be the part when they fall in love, or realize that they already might be.

//And it feels like falling in, falling in love

Yeah it feels like falling in, falling in, falling in love

Could save me tonight//

The 1975 - Fallingforyou

//According to your heart

My place is not deliberate

Feeling of your arms

I don't want to be your friend, I want to kiss your neck

Don't you see me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

And don't you need me I

I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you

On this night, and in this light

I think I'm falling (I think I'm falling), I'm falling for you

And maybe you, change your mind//

They’re so vulnerable there. Everything Neil pours into the act sweeps R off her feet and she opens up and to let him feel the extent of how much she cares for him, unaware that it might be shifting into something from the territory she promised herself not to venture into. Because that’s not important then. Nothing else is. Just them. So simple.

Adam French - Weightless

The light and softness in this song remind me of another Weightless I used for the finale of the Smoke series.

That’s the moment after. Softness. Closeness. Bliss.

//I told ya that you were the only weight on my shoulders

You see you're gonna make it alright

How you're gonna make it alright

When you're gonna make it alright, alright, alright

You say your body will

Hold me in the night

...

Only you can make me weightless

...

Closer is all I ever wanted to be

There for ya so you can be confiding in me

There to break the fall

Here for everybody to see

Weightless after all//

Chapter 6: Declan J Donovan - Perfectly imperfect

I had the moment they fall in love. I knew how it was gonna end, the conversation with Mahir and how it goes from there. I thought that we need some calm before the storm that was bound to happen, and what’s better than a little domestic fluff? A time when they can see each other in a different setting, get to know one another even better. Fall even harder.

And my god, this song.

//You live like you're a secret

One that only I could know

'Cause I said

You know what I want and

I know who you are

I know when I hold you and love you

You'll get up and go before you fall apart//

...that last line hits different when you know what’s gonna happen later, right?

//I'll bring you every colour that I find

In your eyes

You wake me up

And it breaks my heart

That you're perfectly imperfect

You're hurting but you're worth it

You don't know why

I would waste my time

But I'm falling and I mean it

I want you like I need it

There's nothing you could try to change my mind

'Cause I'm in love

So call me when you want me and I'll come running

Find me waiting at your door

So tell me if you're lonely and it won't last long

'Cause I'm in love with you (you)//

That light when the song gets to the part about being in love -- there’s so much tenderness there, and it resonated with the story so much. And the perfectly imperfect line, so so good.

Bastille - Survivin’

The way the song swings and the hopeful vibe is just what I needed for this chapter.

//And I'm not gonna lie

Say I've been alright

'Cause it feels like I've been living upside down

What can I say? I'm survivin'

Crawling out these sheets to see another day

What can I say? I'm survivin'

And I'm gonna be fine

I'm gonna be fine

I think I'll be fine//

As much as Reader didn’t want Neil to be there with her for so long, she really enjoys his company, making the boring and still rather painful recovery period easier.

Ella Henderson, Tom Grennan - Let’s go home together - stripped

Ha, this one! The humour when they tease other words always brings a smile to my face. That playfulness just fits our duo’s dynamic so well.

//Maybe you'll like me the way I am//

Crazy concept, right? And with Neil learning to spot the times when she hides behind a joke, and still being there--

//Feels like I know you so well

You could be everything that I've been missing

I'm coming out of my shell

And I never do that

How did you do that?

It's like I've known you my whole life//

That’s exactly how she feels like. She intently doesn’t think about it though, because if she starts overthinking it… we know what happens. She’s allowing herself to be in the moment, however. And happy.

//You seem like someone I could be myself with, no defenses

Maybe you like me the way I am//

That brings me to all Neil’s animated rants, and how much he appreciates that she always listens. He feels accepted, and I don’t know, it melts my heart a little.

//Baby, I'm in love//

🙃

INXS - Need you tonight

I know I used a cover of this song for another playlist, but the vibe was so different, and you just have to bear with me. It’s one of those songs that sparks the ideas and images, and usually, they involve Neil being a tease and having way too much fun. And as I was plotting the chapter, I thought of R missing out on his shenanigans, and how he could make her see what he was doing, and 😳 oh my. I knew the imagination would run wild. (That definitely might have something to do with a certain scene from a certain movie and a conversation I had with M about how Neil would handle it)

//So slide over here and give me a moment

Your moves are so raw, I've got to let you know

I've got to let you know

You're one of my kind

I need you tonight

'Cause I'm not sleepin'

There's somethin' about you, girl

That makes me sweat//

That’s one sexy song, don’t judge me.

Dermot Kennedy - Days like this

Oh, would you look at that, it’s Dermot again! This one is for that scene on the balcony.

That quiet contentment, like everything fell in its place and life is alright.

//When it's not always raining, there'll be days like this

When there's no one complaining, there'll be days like this

When everything falls into place, like the flick of a switch

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this

When you don't need to worry, there'll be days like this

When no one's in a hurry, there'll be days like this

When you don't get betrayed by that old Judas kiss

Oh my mama told me, there'll be days like this//

They’re in the moment, comfortable in the relationship that blooms between them. More casual and laid-back throughout the day only to get more soft and intimate in the evenings, when the inner demons’ voices grow louder.

James Bay - Chew on my heart - acoustic

The way the chorus explodes? It makes me beam widely and my heart is about to burst.

//Take your time

I'll be right here

I know no one could ever love me better

Take all night

You're the truth that

Is breaking me and keeping me together

Together

I wanna be in your touch

Sleep is so tough

You're burning up my mind

What would it feel like if you tore me apart?

Come on chew on my heart

...

I'm on fire

I'm a hot mess

I'm thinking things that I might start regretting

So hear me out

I need you now

I'm spiraling

I'm sinking down

Look for me I'm sending up a message

A message//

I think it weirdly fits those times at night when Neil checks the bruises. When their minds wander to that first evening, and they still feel bad about how it ended up, the closeness brings them back to the present and grounds them.

Picture This - Unconditional

This one just makes my heart sing.

//This magic, I don't know what it is but we have it

Even when we're sleepless and damaged

I don't doubt it

We're holding on//

That’s exactly it.

//Baby I wish we could take this feeling

And put it away somewhere safe

'Til we need it

Unconditional

I'm so afraid of losing your love//

They don’t need big words. But they feel it, all right. Whether they are aware of it or not. And they are afraid of losing each other, now that they know how easily that could happen.

//Shivers running down my back with your fingers

The smell of your perfume it lingers

And whispers

What I want you to say

Under your skin, underdressed under covers

We bring out the best in each other

Two lovers finding our way//

The kiss, the touch, the skin on skin contact - some of the most powerful reminders that, for now, they’re safe.

BANNERS - Start a riot

But it’s not always about going all the way, because sometimes you just need to be held. And this song just speaks to me of all that tenderness, all the feelings clenching the heart so much they’re unable to say a word, just want to keep each other as close as they can. Just to make sure they’re really there.

//I will march down an empty street like a ship into the storm

No surrender, no retreat

I will tear down every wall

Just to keep you warm

Just to bring you home

I will burn this city down for a diamond in the dust

I will keep you safe and sound when there's no one left to trust

Will you take my hand?

We can make our stand

If your world falls apart

I'd start a riot

If night falls in your heart

I'd light the fire

In the dark, when you sound the alarm

We'll find each other's arms

For your love, all you are

I'd start a riot//

The lyrics are so beautiful, and there’s so much longing there, and the promise to protect each other, to be there for each other, to face whatever life might throw their way together.

Yeah, it makes me emotional, I absolutely love it. Speaking of emotional--

Chapter 7: Stone Sour - Wicked game - acoustic, live

When Spotify recommended this one to me, I almost skipped it. I’ve heard it a million times in different versions and I thought that there’s nothing to be found there. Oh, was I wrong.

I knew what was going to happen in the chapter - Mahir is about to confront R, surprised by what he sees. And he can clearly recognize that they’re idiots in love, even if they’re trying to lay low in the company. He knows what happened to R, why she’s so cautious and reluctant when it comes to any relationships that are more than simple hookups.

//The world was on fire and no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

And I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you//

Because that’s how it started, right? With desire. One could argue that our duo had solid banter before that, respect and understanding, all those things, sure. But ultimately, that was all that sexual tension, sparked by the playful teasing, that pushed them into each other’s arms in the first place.

//No, I don't want to fall in love

With you, with you

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way

What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you//

And when Reader finally lets the thought in and it dawns on her that she is, in fact, in love - she goes into full panic. Not because she feels it’s unrequited, god, she’s not stupid, nor blind (too soon?). But she’s mad at herself that she allowed this to happen. She’s afraid that she’ll get hurt, and to avoid that, she has to run away. And that’s gonna hurt Neil as well, and she can’t stand that, hates herself for that, but she’s so scared that she can’t think of any other solution.

Before we get to that, however, there’s a bit more softness to be shared.

Lewis Watson - Little light

//And all this shade is, illuminating

And all those love lines, are taking shape

And all my worries, disintegrating

And I've been waiting, I've been waiting

And all my days were young and wasted

When I was waiting, oh for you

And all the plans that I've been chasing are always fading

But ever since I found you

A little light is breaking through//

Gotta admit, I had this one hidden in the playlists of other chapters, because it captures that feeling when your chest is filled with light and you’re simply happy. It ended up here, because it’s this feeling when R is melting a little inside when she looks at Neil, when she’s in his arms. And how Neil feels, too.

X Ambassadors - Renegades

Funny, I had this song for both times the team appears in the story. There’s this sense of camaraderie to it that I wanted to capture, when you’re with a bunch of people who are like family to you. You can tease them all you want, but at the same time you’d go into battle with them, knowing that you can count on them to have your six.

//Long live the pioneers

Rebels and mutineers

Go forth and have no fear

Come close and lend an ear

…

All hail the underdogs

All hail the new kids

All hail the outlaws

Spielbergs and Kubricks

It's our time to make a move

It's our time to make amends

It's our time to break the rules

Let's begin//

I wanted R to have a taste of that. To let her know that she’s appreciated for helping with the mission. To get to know them all better, and to make amends with TP, of sorts.

I didn’t want to make his motivation clear. He wouldn’t tell her that he knows how the story ends. That he can’t help that, deep down, irrationally, he made her responsible for it. Even if she’s not the one to blame. (And I don’t believe he let’s that happen, in the end, because that’s too much angst, even for me - again, fuck you, Mr Nolan, sir)

Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen, Scott Reeder - From can to can’t

Christ almighty, this one is so raw! The emotional progression in here just blows my mind.

//Under the water

It's cold and it's grey

My torrid autumn

Another season decays

Open up the Hollow

And my walls come down

I tell you it's a problem

Just when no one's around

But then

I know what's wrong

God, you complicated everything

I know you're gone, gone, gone

This is where I will draw my line

I will draw my line//

To me, it’s the scene with R having a breakdown in the bathroom, and then somehow finding the solution. She has a plan, and enough strength and determination to pull through, at least for a moment.

Chapter 8: Dan Owen - Hideaway

I found this song by accident, and I almost screamed at how perfect it is for the finale (and then screamed for the second time when my dearest friend @connie-nikas casually sent me this exact song one day saying that it sounds like something I’d enjoy). The intensity just tears your heart out and makes you struggle to draw a breath, there’s something desperate to it, and I knew that it would be my go-to song for the part where R sleeps with Neil, trying one last time to drown all the pain and sorrow in his closeness.

I could just paste all the lyrics, to be honest, because that’s exactly what’s happening in the scene.

//It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head

And it's a slow cry out

When you've got so many tears you could die

And it's a long time to wait

When you take all my tears away//

Oh, she’s on the verge of tears, all right. Knowing quite well that as soon as Neil picks on them, he’s gonna stop to make sure she’s okay. That once he starts asking questions, she’s gonna fall into pieces, unable to lie to him.

//My body is colder

Time is frozen

All these feelings have poisoned my soul

And in silence no I can't stand it

Please break these chains and hell I can

Hideaway//

She’s scared that if she’s left alone with her thoughts, they will break her and make her stay. What she fears most (besides that she’s gonna end up betrayed, alone and heartbroken) is how Neil’s gonna react to her actions. The last thing she wants is to hurt him. She just hopes that maybe if she leaves now, it’s not gonna be as painful as it would be if she stayed a bit longer. That maybe he’s not fallen in too deep.

//You're my one way out

And my tears won't save me now

Save me now

I can't stand it

All this loneliness I feel

I can't do this alone

I need someone to remind my feelings

That I've fallen down by the door

It's a long way down and my tears won't save me now

It's a long way down

I keep backing away from the edge

And it's a slow burnout

Like the fires that rage in my head//

Macy Gray - I try

One of the first songs that came to my mind when I was composing the playlist for the series. It may be a tad too upbeat for my liking, hah, but parts of the lyrics are spot on, and it had to be there.

//I try to say goodbye and I choke (Yeah)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near

Goodbye and I choke (Yeah!)

I try to walk away and I stumble

Though I try to hide it, it's clear

My world crumbles when you are not near//

It makes me think of the time when they’re in the car. She’s going over the plan, kinda skipping the moment she’d have to say goodbye to Neil. That’s the unbearable part. And when he asks an innocent question and touches her, she crumbles and jokes. Partly to distract him from prodding further, but mostly to distract herself. I didn’t plan on them getting all worked up there, it...happened, but I figured it made for a decent ground for what was about to go down in the hotel room.

Belle Mt. - Hollow - acoustic

//She told me she was hollow

That's far from what I see//

That feeling you get when everything is too much and it leaves you hollow because you can’t take it anymore. A safety mechanism of sorts. It kicks in with Reader, and of course, Neil can sense that something is off. He hopes it’s just her being tired, he knows how she feels after spending too much time with people.

//I told her she was special

She almost let me in

But she couldn't bear the thought of digging up the heart that she's been burying//

We already know it. The thing is - Neil doesn’t. They haven’t really talked about it. Well, they did after the first night, but with all the things that happened later… and with how much affection she shows him? He doesn’t have a reason to suspect something this big.

//Lonely is her favourite

If only I could change it

If I could only save her

But sometimes she's lost, sometimes she's broken

Sometimes she's closed, sometimes she's open

Sometimes she's stone-cold, times she's on fire

Mostly she's everything I desire

Lonely is her favourite place to be//

Galleaux - Tether me

I had it on repeat when I was writing that part when R collapses in Neil’s arms when they’re in bed. Did I mention that I didn’t want Reader to be this emotional in the first part of the chapter? I thought she’d be more distant. Numb, even, here and there slipping up but holding it together until the very end. And then she does that. But it was Neil’s reaction that left me all 🥺. Not only me, apparently, because she let out so much there. I think my heart broke a little when she gave me that make love to me/love me/ never let me go part.

//In this space, do I belong?

It's dark out here in my own thoughts

Pull me back, out of my body

I'm tied to my limbs

They're spinning me out of control

Tether me//

And the way the music builds up only to blow up at 3:11, heavens, and those vocals! It just takes my breath away, fits so well there.

Nothing But Thieves - Lover, please stay

There can’t be a series playlist without Nothing But Thieves! And it’s another song Chels sent me. The way it broke me-- bloody hell. It’s that gentle guitar, it’s the raw emotions in the vocals, and those lyrics! It rips my heart out, in the best way possible.

It’s for that part where Neil falls asleep and R breaks down, fully realizing what she is about to do.

//Lover, I know you're weary

Eyes are tired from the night

Lover, come to the kitchen floor

Tiles are cold, so am I//

You bet your ass she’s having flashbacks to those moments on the cold tiles, but in her bathroom.

//Lover, I feel your sorrow pouring out of your skin

And I don't wanna be alone

If I am tonight, I'll always be//

Lonely might be her favourite place to be, but losing Neil by her own decision hurts more than she thought possible.

//So take from me what you want, what you need

Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need

But lover, please stay with me, oh//

You know what’s the worst, though? As if that scene was not heartbreaking enough, my brain decided to remind me how much it parallels part 7 from Stuck in reverse. Yep. ✨Pain.✨

Foo Fighters - Home

When she walks to her apartment. Crying. Broken. Missing him already.

//Wish I were with you

But I couldn't stay

Every direction

Leads me away

Pray for tomorrow

But for today

All I want is to be home//

About to leave for good.

This is the bit that prompted the final conversation. What even is home to her? Living the way she does, it never was something important. I struggled with that idea, I thought it’s too sweet. But Neil, the stubborn ass that he is, didn’t want to give me anything else, so it stayed - and in the end, I’m happy that it did.

BANKS - Someone new

Okay, this one is perfect with its sadness and longing, but it’s a hit and miss when it comes to lyrics. Take a look -

//I can love you desperately

Though your love ain't guaranteed

Oh, I wish you knew the deal

Gotta learn from far away

And I simply needed space

Space for me to be

And I think you need it too

Though I know you call me selfish for assuming

I did this for you too//

This, this, all of this! You see it, right?

//Everything I do, I'm gonna think of you

Don't know what else to do//

Well, one could argue that they could just talk it through without all the drama, but hey, where’s the fun in that? And running away really seems like the best option to R.

//And please don't fall in love with someone new

I promise one day I'll come back for you//

And here it’s off because I don’t think she plans on going back. So she wouldn’t want him to not fall in love with someone else, because why would she? He deserves to be happy.

//Oh, you say you hate me now and you burn me with your words

Calling me a fool

Saying that I've fucked up everything

And you'll never forgive me//

See, I have a few options for what to do when Neil finds her at the riverside. I knew one thing though - it would never be a full-blown argument and accusations. At first (and when I say first I mean before I actually started writing chapter 1, because I already had the last scene plotted out by then), I thought Neil would be calm, with a kind of “I know you love me too, silly, so what on earth are you doing?” vibe to him, to R’s annoyance. Then, the story became heavier, and I knew Neil would be worried. Lost. Confused. But never to the point of losing his temper, not after that one time in the bathroom. And that’s what happens in that scene. He doesn’t know what to do as he tries to make some sense out of it all.

Agnes Obel - Riverside

//Oh my God I see how everything is torn in the river deep

And I don't know why I go the way

Down by the riverside//

As I mentioned, I knew what I wanted for the final confrontation from the start. That’s why I tried to make that river quite important for both of them, weaving it into the story here and there. That’s why they instinctively go there.

Billy Raffoul - Dark four door

There’s this sad acceptance in this song that just breaks my heart. It makes me think about the moment when Neil wakes up and sees that she’s gone. How he doesn’t know what’s going on, and how his mind slowly connects all the things that felt strange, but he’s unwilling to accept it until he checks Reader’s place. And much it costs him to keep it together when he sees that the bag is gone.

//You got up, you felt you should

I keep trying to myself I would've done the same had I could

I never thought that you would//

Chris Cornell - Before we disappear

Whenever I hear this song, I think of Neil standing there with Reader, hurt, trying to understand what went wrong.

//So how hard can it be to share your life with me?

How hard can it be to rise with me each morning?//

Dermot Kennedy - A closeness

The last one by Dermot. If that isn’t their conversation--

//Keeping her bright eyes focused on the coastline, waiting for you

Isn't she all of us pining for that last kiss

A permanent truth, a means to get through//

Why does she stay up for so long in their spot? Does she subconsciously count on him to show up? Unable to let go, once and for all?

//Deep into the night, eyes closing

Heart swollen with my loving for you

A solid embrace, kind face

And then the hurt starts leaving the room, followed by goons

Sometimes it's open wide and lights the road at night

You've got a heart like the moon

Gather courage, if you're doing something, do it

'Cause she got to go soon//

And when Neil sees her, he wants nothing more than to hug her, he’s so relieved. But then she snaps at him, and he can’t believe that she’d actually think that he planted a bug on her to track her. It’s another wound he didn’t expect, but he waits for her to explain her actions before he lets out how much it all affected him.

Ryan McMullan - Outcry

I was close to making this one a title song for the chapter because as Hideaway sounds like it was written for the time they make love, this one is for the time Neil asks why she left.

//You came a long way to see me

So don't you run off, baby stop pretending that you're fine

What's the point that you're making

Tell me what it is that's going 'round inside your mind

If in doubt, don't fake it

I have known you long enough to know that you can't lie

If you're in love don't be ashamed of it

'Cause even angels fall for demons//

God, of course he saw that she wasn’t alright that night, but she seemed so sure about what she needed that moment that he decided not to push her - they had all the time in the world, he could ask her about it in the morning, right?

And Neil knows when she’s hiding behind jokes. That’s why he doesn’t want to play her game when she deflects what he says about the way she was in bed. He wants her to be honest. Especially since he knows what he saw in her eyes, in her actions, when they were together, and he’s sure it all must have meant something to her.

//I've heard stories, but they're jaded

So give me something more

I only know what I've been told

But I can tell that you're frustrated

And I won't ever pry, I'll only be a hand to hold

If you tell me you're hurting

I'm hurting too, yeah

Don't tell me you're fine - unless you're fine

I'll wait for the outcry

Whenever there is something weighing on your mind//

And Neil knows he can’t pressure her, that’s why he just stands with her and waits. Sweeping his mind over and over again for anything that could have prompted this whole mess.

//If you feel like leaving

Then maybe it's for the best

Or if you feel like you've given in

Oh, give yourself a chance

If you feel like crying

Oh please don't hold it in

If you feel like reaching out oh

Let me in//

His heart is aching when he hears her reason why she feels like she has to leave. That’s when he touches her. To pull her back from her head to something real. To remind her that nothing has changed. That he’s there, and not going to let her go that easily. That he loves her, because he needs her to hear it, so she knows for sure. And when she tears up, there’s only one desperate plea in his mind.

Gavin James - Hard to do

One heavy hitter after another, and this is another killer. The longing in Gavin’s voice clenches your chest and you just want to hide in somebody’s arms.

//Oh, I've been thinking that I don't wanna leave

This house isn't home to me

I'm tired of losing everyone I see

Now that you're here, it's a hard thing to do

Trying to hold on//

Does she really want to leave? She feels she has to, but god, if only she knew for sure her heart is safe, she would stay with him forever. The problem with life is - you can never be so sure. And when Neil shows up… it takes everything, even unreasonable anger, to keep her together.

//Maybe I don't believe that I don't wanna run

But two hearts are better than one

You say you'll stick around but I'll be gone

Oh, I'll be gone

It's a hard thing to do, trying to hold on//

Reader knows that it’s gonna be nearly impossible to walk away now. And she’s afraid.

//Oh, but I need you

Far more than I ever want you

It's such an unnatural thing we do

When falling in love's just so hard to do

Hard to do//

She can’t bring herself to look at him after she tells him what’s going on with her. But when Neil touches her and takes her hand, she can’t keep it inside anymore. Then he tells her that he loves her, and everything floods her at once. Fear. Guilt. Love. All that combined with his simple plea is enough to finally make her give in.

Damien Rice - I don’t want to change you

I had it on repeat since the moment Neil touched her. The softness of what happens there, melting the barriers once and for all.

//Wherever you are

You know that I adore you

No matter how far

Well, I can go before you

And if ever you need someone

Well, not that you need helping

But if ever you want someone

Know that I am willing//

He’s there for her. Always has been, always will be.

//Oh, and I don't want to change you

I don't want to change you

I don't want to change your mind//

Here. I think that’s what is really important about them and their relationship.

//I've never been with anyone

In the way I've been with you

But if love is not for fun

Then it's doomed

'Cause water races

Water races down the waterfalls//

Lucy Spraggan - Run

Ha, this kinda feels like an end-credits song, don’t you think?

//I just to run to the end of the world

Just to see if it's possible

I don't care what I've been told

I want to run to the end of the world

I'm going to run,run,run

Bye bye problems

Run 'til the road hits the sea

You better run,run,run

If you want to be free//

Granted, she didn’t run off without Neil, but found a way to run with him instead. There’s that heart-bursting light and freedom in this song, I think it captures that happiness they found, working it all out in the end.

//I wanna feel invincible

One more mile out of principle

I want to see the whole damn world

One cross road can change it all//

Travelling the world. Doing what they like most. Together.

------

Quite a journey that was.

Thank you all for taking it with me.

#long nights #long nights playlist #bts long nights

7 notes · View notes

andiandyandee · 4 years

Text

We Are Going to Be Friends Pt. 10

I’m not crying, you’re crying, shut up

Words: 1,978

Tag List: @datfearlessfangirl @princemesscharming @illogicalthinking @holliberries

Ask if you want added!

This is part of an Ongoing Parental Logince/ Punk AU. This is a prequel to the main stories, which can be found in several places. You don’t need the rest of the AU to read this, but it will give you some insight.

Here’s a link to the series on Ao3

Here’s a link to the last part, In case you missed it

Here’s a link to the First Part, If you’re new here.

Aaaannnd.... here’s the fic.

Friday sleepovers became just as much of a tradition as Saturdays on the lake or Sundays in the den once the Sanders moved into their new house, but Logan finds himself curled up in Remus’s bay window, watching the stars and listening to Remus talk for hours most nights. Which is why it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise when someone finally asked the question that so many had assumed.

“So, are you two, like, dating now? Should we invest in soundproofing?” Roman asked one night in late March when Logan came stumbling into the kitchen in search of water.

“Who, Remus and I?” Logan was too tired to hide his surprise. He and Remus were close, they spent most days together, and he was really one of the only people Logan referred to as ‘friend’ (best friend, even), but there had never been any inkling towards romance. “Of course not.” Roman did look surprised at that. Logan was trying to deal with both the fact that someone thought that he and Remus were romantically involved and that Roman, who almost always avoided Logan, looking uncomfortable and confused whenever Logan sought him out for conversation, was capable of being a normal human being. “Remus and I are friends, he’s my best friend, but He’s.. not exactly my type.”

“Oh, I, sorry, I guess. I didn’t mean to offend, I just know you said you were queer, I assumed you were into guys.”

“I am.” Roman looked even more confused at that, “just not Remus. One, I Iook for someone who shares important core beliefs with me, but otherwise is an opposition to my personality. Where I am relatively quiet, I prefer someone loud, but not just chaotically, like Remus. I prefer a partner who is confident. Someone who is intelligent, but not necessarily in the same way I am. Remus and I share too many interests to be compatible romantically. The dynamic would just be as it is now, chaos and humor, but not romance.” Logan shrugged. “Why are you awake, anyhow? It’s quite late, Roman. Don’t you have weight training in the morning?”

“I can’t sleep. Too many thoughts for that.”

“Oh? If you want to share, I’m all ears. Figuratively, of course.”

“Would.. would you go to prom with me? If I asked?” Roman blurted out, immediately turning red. “I- oh my god I can’t believe I said that out loud, I’m sorry- I can go”

“ Are you asking?” Logan replied in a voice that was completely neutral.

“Y-yes? If that is.. okay?” Roman squeaked, looking like he might faint.

“I would, er, enjoy that, I believe,” Logan replied, tugging at the collar of his NASA t-shirt. “Though, I am surprised you would ask me of all people. I was under the impression you were not particularly... fond of me.” Logan admitted, his cheeks and ears slightly pink.

“I’ve been hopelessly and all-consumingly in love with you since you came stomping into school in that leather jacket on the first day.” Roman shrugged. “I thought you liked Remus, so I tried to avoid it, which probably just made me sound like a moron most of the time.”

“Only some of the time.” Logan counter-argued.

“That first time you slept over I almost died several times just because you looked at me.” Roman looked faint. “When you and Remus came in I was actually talking about how hopelessly in love with you I was, which is why Elliot almost died laughing, and I nearly died of embarrassment. Then when you were talking about your rebel shit, about music and rioting I actually thought I was gonna pass out because you had this fire in your eyes like you were single-handedly going to fix all the shit that was broken. Every time you answered a question in truth or dare, you answered it like it was the most important thing in the world, and you sang and I thought I would die then .

Then Dahlia did your makeup, and you looked so pretty , and your eyes were sparkling and I wanted to flirt but instead, I choked and dumped soda on myself and then sat in the shower for twenty minutes wishing I would be struck by lightning so I didn’t have to face you and oh my god I’m rambling,”

Logan was smiling. It wasn’t something he did much, but the more Roman talked, the more his face pulled up, his heart rose to his throat, he could practically feel the waves of adoration pouring off of Roman, so open and sincere, and it was only then that Logan realized that the reason he was so disappointed when Roman was awkward around him was that he wanted this, this conversation, so desperately it ached, and he didn’t know what came over him, but he stepped forward, his hands gently cradling Romans like he was the most precious thing in the world, because he was, wasn’t he? He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Roman’s lips, a little beyond ‘gentle’ but he didn’t have the words to express how he felt, so he did his best with what was at his disposal. Roman just let out a breathless laugh when Logan pulled away, staring up at him with his warm, cinnamon eyes just a little glassy. The air around them buzzed, not quite fireworks, but something more than what was there before.

The moment was shattered by Remus, who pretended to gag in the doorway behind them. Logan and Roman jumped, turning to stare at him with identical shocked expressions, but he was beaming. “Thank god you two idiots figured out how talking worked, I was afraid Lo was gonna short circuit. But if you two are done, we need to go back to sleep because we really do have weight training at 4:45 am, Ro, and I am not going to be late again.”

***

Lunch was an endeavor, the two close but previously separated tables now pushed together, Logan’s group and Roman and Remus’s group making awkward small talk, with the exception of October and Kai hitting it off immediately, finding solace in having someone to talk doctors with, finally. The rest were dealing with the others, all of them occasionally laughing at the way Roman and Logan were caught up in flirting. It was a Friday, which meant it was sleepover night, which Roman and Remus’s father had agreed to on the caveat that they stayed in the living room now that Logan and Roman were... whatever they were, which had not been discussed.

“Lo, Toby and I are gonna get tattoos next weekend. You down?” Micheal asked with a grin. “Toby’s cousin got a gun and said he’d do ‘em for free.” Logan instinctively wanted to say no, because that was a horrible idea, why on earth would he want a mediocre tattoo permanently on his skin, but what came out of his mouth was,

“Fuck yeah I am.” Roman and Remus, as well as several others from both groups, looked nervous about that, but none of them said anything. It was a discussion for another time.

***

“Larry! We have to have flowers!” Dot whined, which made Logan chuckle quietly. “I am not getting married and throwing a bouquet of Ferns.”

“You don’t even like flowers! You actually told me, when we started dating, to never buy you flowers. Why would we have them at the wedding if you don’t like them?”

“Well- well because you like them, L.” Dot had that soft expression on her face again, the one that said she would do anything for his happiness. “Maybe we can do some violets or something, and the rest can be foliage. Compromise.”

“If I may interject, and frankly even if you said no I would anyway, I think you’re both the most disgustingly romantic nightmare couple I’ve ever met, and I hate you.” Logan was color coding binders on the floor with seating charts and schedules, pointedly ignoring the way his whole body hurt to move. “Also, are we inviting all of Dot’s brothers? Because if so we’ll have to dedicate them two tables, and I need to know which sets will get along best.” Larry and Dot grinned, both tackling L, pulling his from the binder and into a hug.

“How is it that I have six brothers and somehow my favorite is the one that I have to sign a contract for?” Dot teased, ruffling Logan’s hair. Her hand paused when he flinched and the smile immediately dissolved. “Sorry, sweetheart.”

“No, you don’t need to apologize. You know that.” Logan smiled sadly at her. His brother cut the tension.

“On the subject of disgustingly Roman -tic things, how's that boyfriend of yours?” Larry grinned at the blush.

“We have a wedding to plan. I know you’ve already booked the venue, but the caterer has not been confirmed. You’re getting married in four months and 9 days. We need to make these decisions now, or we’re going to have to learn how to cook and bake.”

“When you and Roman get married, do you think you’ll be older than 21? As your best man, I think I’d like to take you to Vegas.”

“Dot is going to be my best man.” Logan deadpanned, biting back a laugh at Larry’s faux hurt expression. Dot ‘whooped’ beside them.

“Nice, I definitely want to take you to Vegas.”

“Also, who’s to say I’ll marry Roman. Maybe by then I’ll have lost my mind and marry Alex.” Logan shrugged. “Or that new girl, Terra. Though I think she may be interested in Remus, actually.” Larry was loudly laughing now.

“Logan… you know you’re gay, right?” Dot asked with false concern.

“Preposterous. I’ve never had a molecule of serotonin in my life.” Larry laughed at that, but then got a serious look on his face.

“You know, Lo, We’re renting a house right outside of town starting in June.” Dot looked at L with raised eyebrows.

“I thought we were waiting until the paperwork was done to tell him?”

“Tell me what? I already knew you were getting a house, Dot.” L shook his head.

“ We’re getting a house.”

“That’s what I just said.”

“A three-bedroom house.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize it was so large. Were you planning on having children, then? I thought you were waiting until after you had finished your degrees.”

“One of the rooms is going to be a study, the other is going to be for family.”

“Oh, that’s a good idea. Having so many siblings-in-law I assume you two will have regular visitors.” Dot was laughing lightly at L’s expression and the rapid way his hands were flailing.

“Logan, the room isn’t for my side of the family.” Dot was looking at him pointedly. He still did not understand.

“So it...is for you two to have kids? Again- I thought you wanted to wait unti-”

“It’s for you, dumbass!” Larry looked like he was going to explode, and Logan was quite sure he was imploding. “We’re getting a three-bedroom house outside of town because we want you to live there, not because Dot has a big family or because we are going to have kids. We’re going to get you out of here, kiddo.”

Logan couldn’t breathe. He wanted to argue, to tell them it was too much, that he could never accept, but what came out of his mouth, small and broken and just a little bit afraid was, “you are?” Which was all that they needed before the floodgates were broken, and the two brothers were crying and hugging. Despite the height difference, Logan had never felt smaller than when his brother wrapped him in his arms and whispered,

“I’m never going to leave you alone with them again, Logan. I promise.”

#sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #logince #punk au #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #logan is bad at feelings #larry (cartoon therapy)#dot (cartoon therapy)#This chapter made me sad #ask to tag #ask to be tagged //

15 notes · View notes

chaoscheebs · 4 years

Text

Celdic Crew Chat Log the 3rd

SO GUESS WHO’S BACK WITH MORE OF THIS.

Please enjoy Rean interrupting Jusis and Machias’s date with his own personal crisis. Some Cold Steel II spoilers apply.

(Part 1) - (Part 2)

--------

Today had been a surprisingly good day, Machias thought, gazing at Jusis’s sleeping form next to him. The surprise day out Jusis had planned had been admittedly fun, barring Millium yelling for them to enjoy their “hot date” in the middle of Heimdallr Station and all the butler dodging they did at Jusis’s insistence.

No, strike that, those were both pretty fun too, if only for Jusis’s reactions to them, he thought with a smirk. He was damned cute when something managed to fluster him and wipe that stupid beautiful poker face off his… well, face.

His satisfied sleeping face was plenty cute too, though. Machias gently brushed blond hair out of the way to better see it, drawing a soft sound out of his sleeping lover…

… then the chirping of a new message on his ARCUS spoiled the quiet moment. He turned away to grab the device off the nightstand, sat up, and squinted at the screen, wondering what was so important that it couldn’t wait until morning.

REAN: Hey, Machias? REAN: Um, I know it’s late but REAN: Can I ask REAN: Um REAN: I REAN: Um never mind it can wait REAN: I just REAN: Never mind

Sighing, Machias grabbed his glasses, put them on, and started typing out a response.

MACHIAS: NO, NO, IT’S FINE, I WAS STILL AWAKE ANYWAY. WHAT’S UP?

It took more than a moment for Rean to reply, which was kinda concerning. What had the man acting so hesitant?

REAN: Oh REAN: OK, good. REAN: I just REAN: I’ve been… thinking about something lately. A lot. REAN: And I think you might be able to help me figure it out? REAN: Because, um REAN: Well…

Oh boy, Rean’s spamming again. Better nudge him towards his point, Machias though.

MACHIAS: “WELL,” WHAT…? WHAT’S GOT YOU SO WORKED UP?

Another long pause, long enough that Machias thought Rean had just given up trying to put his thoughts into words. He was about to put the ARCUS back on the nightstand when it chimed again.

REAN: Machias how did you *know* REAN: That you REAN: That you were interested in guys

Oh. So that was it. He sure did drop a difficult question with a complicated answer in his lap, huh? After a moment of thought, he replied.

MACHIAS: AH. THAT’S… A TRICKY QUESTION TO ANSWER, BUT I CAN TRY TO ANSWER IT? MACHIAS: BUT WOULDN’T ELLIOT BE THE BETTER PERSON TO ASK? HE’S BETTER AT FEELINGS THAN I AM.

This time, Rean’s reply came at him fast.

REAN: NO!!!!! REAN: I mean REAN: I can’t REAN: I can’t talk to him about this

“I knew it!” Machias said out loud. Honestly, probably a little too loud. “I told you, Elliot, and you still wouldn’t believe me!”

“Knew what?” mumbled a sleepy voice next to him

Machias let out an awkward laugh and stroked Jusis’s hair. “Ahahaha, it’s nothing that can’t wait until morning; go back to sleep.”

Jusis opened one eye slightly, frowned, then closed his eye again. “… you better tell me in the morning,” he mumbled again, “and don’t stay up too late.”

“Right, right,” Machias said, then returned his attention to messages.

MACHIAS: OH. WELL, I’LL DO MY BEST TO HELP, THEN?

REAN: Thanks. I know this is kind of personal, but REAN: Well REAN: I don’t really know what to do here. REAN: And you’ve REAN: Been there, you know?

MACHIAS: HA, YEAH, I SURE GOT HIT WITH A CURVEBALL THERE, IN A LOT OF WAYS.

Machias looked over to Jusis’s dozing form. “Curveball” didn’t even cover how radically his life changed after meeting him. There had been so much to learn, so much to get over, and so many new things to navigate through once they finally got their heads out of their asses about how they both felt. But, Jusis was worth it, not that Machias was going to be that sappy to his face about it.

And then speaking of things he wasn’t about to tell Jusis…

MACHIAS: ANYWAY, BACK TO THE QUESTION AT HAND, IT’S… COMPLICATED? I MEAN, YOU SAW HOW WE WERE WHEN WE FIRST MET.

REAN: Heheh, yeah, you two were really at each other’s throats for a while.

MACHIAS: YEAH, AND THAT DIDN’T HELP THINGS ANY. PLUS… MACHIAS: REAN, BEFORE I GO INTO THIS, YOU HAVE TO PROMISE TO ***NEVER TELL JUSIS WHAT I’M ABOUT TO SAY*** MACHIAS: IT’S NOT ANYTHING *BAD*, BUT HE’D BE SMUG FROM HERE TO ETERNITY ABOUT IT. D|

REAN: ??? REAN: OK, sure, I promise.

Machias took another look at Jusis to make sure he had gone back to sleep, took a deep breath, and began to type.

MACHIAS: … HONESTLY? I HADN’T EVEN *CONSIDERED* GUYS AS AN OPTION BEFORE JUSIS. MACHIAS: I MEAN, I KNEW MEN COULD LIKE OTHER MEN, BUT I LEAN ***VERY HEAVILY*** TOWARDS WOMEN, ENOUGH THAT JUSIS CAME OUT OF ***NOWHERE*** FOR ME MACHIAS: AND—AGAIN, JUSIS CAN NEVER KNOW—I HAVEN’T REALLY BEEN ATTRACTED TO ANY OTHER GUYS????????? MACHIAS: SO MAYBE I’M NOT THE BEST GUIDEPOST TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO HERE.

REAN: Aww, so you must really love him, then! :D

Machias could feel color burning his cheeks. Did Rean have to put it that bluntly?! Even if it was true…

MACHIAS: HA, YEAH, I GUESS SO?????? MACHIAS: BUT IT TOOK A WHILE TO FIGURE IT OUT, OBVIOUSLY. MACHIAS: I THINK I FIRST REALIZED IT WAS SOMETHING BEYOND THINKING HIS OBNOXIOUS, ARROGANT ASS WAS HOT DESPITE MYSELF WAS WHEN WE WERE PLANNING TO HELP HIM ARREST HIS DAD. MACHIAS: HE WAS PREPARED TO GO IT ALONE AND I REALIZED, I COULDN’T LET HIM DO THAT. NOT BECAUSE WE WERE CLASSMATES, OR FRIENDS, BUT BECAUSE I JUST… REALLY WANTED TO BE BY HIS SIDE. TO HOLD HIS HAND AND LET HIM KNOW HE WASN’T ALONE ON THIS. MACHIAS: HA… THAT’S REALLY SAPPY, HUH?

“It is intensely sappy,” Jusis said, causing Machias to nearly fling the ARCUS across the room in surprise. At some point during the typing, he had sat up and was now peering at Machias’s orbment.

“What the…?! Go back to sleep!” Machias exclaimed, trying to hold the ARCUS out of Jusis’s view. Alas, all that did was make Jusis reach across him for the device, trying to grab it or his hand so he could continue reading. “Hey, stop!”

“Now, now, I think I’m within my rights to see what you’re saying about me, dear,” Jusis teased, still trying to grasp the now-moving target.

Trying to push Jusis away with his free hand, Machias retorted, “The hell you do! And what about Rean’s privacy? This is a very delicate topic we’re discussing!”

This didn’t deter Jusis in the least. “And what topic is that?”

“I think he’s realized he has a thing for Elliot!”

That, however, did. Jusis lowered his hand and let out a quiet chuckle. “Well, it’s about damned time. Gaius will be thrilled with the news.”

Machias blinked. “Huh? Why?”

His question was met with Jusis rolling his eyes. “Because he’s had to watch everyone on our floor be absolute idiots when it came to romance and was unable to get any of us to stop being foolish. You never noticed?”

“Um…” Machias began, but he was saved by the chiming of incoming message spam. He brought the device close again, half-heartedly still trying to keep Jusis from reading over his shoulder with his free hand.

REAN: Heheh, no, I don’t think it’s sappy; it’s really sweet! REAN: And… I think it might’ve helped a little? REAN: So, thanks? REAN: Um, Machias? REAN: Are you still there? REAN: Heh, you probably fell asleep. REAN: I’ll let you go, then.

Typing one-handed, Machias quickly fired out a new message.

MACHIAS: NO, NO, I’M STILL HERE; JUSIS JUST WOKE UP AND ASKED ME SOMETHING

REAN: !!!!!! REAN: I’m not interrupting anything, am I?!

MACHIAS: NO, YOU AREN’T. BESIDES, THIS WAS IMPORTANT, RIGHT? I’D FEEL WORSE IF I IGNORED YOU.

REAN: Oh, OK. REAN: Still, I don’t want to intrude on your, um REAN: Private time together REAN: So I’ll just be going now. REAN: Thanks, though. I feel a little more sure now.

“Tell him we support him,” Jusis said, having won the fight to read the messages too.

“I’m getting to that!” Machias replied, typing out another message.

MACHIAS: YOU’RE WELCOME, REAN. ALSO, JUSIS TOLD ME TELL YOU WE’RE IN YOUR CORNER HERE. MACHIAS: OH, AND REAN?

REAN: Yes?

MACHIAS: IF YOUR MYSTERY CRUSH IS ELLIOT? I CAN PRETTY DEFINITELY SAY HE’D BE HAPPY TO BE YOUR BOYFRIEND. MACHIAS: JUST SAYING.

Jusis sighed. “Subtle as a brick as always, aren’t you?”

“Look, I’d be a pretty terrible friend if I didn’t try to be a good wingman here,” Machias said, frowning.

Jusis chuckled, then replied, “Fair enough, I suppose.”

REAN: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! REAN: Um REAN: I’ll REAN: I’ll keep that in mind????? REAN: Anyway good night, tell Jusis I said hi REAN: Bye

[REAN has left the room]

Machias set the ARCUS on the nightstand with a sigh. “Well, ball’s in his court now. I’m sure Fie and I will be the first to hear if he actually makes a move.”

“Quite,” Jusis said. He paused, and just as Machias began to settle back into bed, he added slyly, “… so… I’m the only man you’ve ever been interested in?”

Machias shot back upright, suddenly red as a beet. “DAMN IT, I TOLD YOU NOT TO READ OVER MY SHOULDER!”

… needless to say, they did not get back to sleep right away.

#trails of cold steel #my fic

1 note · View note

melonoverlord · 6 years

Note

Luna for the obscure asks,

What convenience store food would be their go-to at a 7-11 (Fantasy or otherwise)?

Chips Ahoy. She’s got a sweet tooth for those tiny cookies and they really go good with red wine.

Who is their drinking buddy? If they don’t drink, which drunk friend would they watch over?

She is her own drinking buddy, but will go on binges with Castor when they’re both feeling shitty. All of y’all are enablers, giving her booze as Christmas gifts.

Who would be their go-to character in Clue?

Miss Scarlett, or if that’s taken, Mr. Gray. If she’s feeling particularly gay, Miss Peach because that’s just a go-to for lesbians.

If they ever had to go to college, what major would they pick?

Political Science and Ethnic Studies double major. She is coming for you, capitalist assholes.

Do they have a signature color(s)?

Red and silver. It’s her favorite colors and the opposite of Genesis’ color scheme.

What would be their favorite vine?

“Brandon, what’s number one- Brandon, Brandon!”

“I don’t, I don’t give a fuck bitch, I don’t give a fuck about you or anything that you do”

She enjoys the dancing.

If they had a social media account, what would it be about?

A shit ton of thirsting for Nivviah if you go back far enough before they got together, and family pictures of the ship as they grow in number. She’d also have a pinterest just for searching gift ideas when birthdays come around.

Who would they invite to be their best man/maid of honor at their wedding?

Tam, no question. He’s been with her through everything and would want him by her side even as she’s marrying the fish of her dreams.

Alternatively, who’s best man/maid of honor would they be?

Again, Tam. She would be honored to be the maid of honor at Tam and Ciri’s wedding and would try her best to be a good maid of honor.

What would be the title of their sex tape/mixtape?

‘I Wanna See Some Fish Titties’

If there was no prejudice, what time period/place would they love to visit?

She would love to visit the 1930s. It seems the most laid back of the eras and she just wants to sit on a porch with her fish girlfriend and listen to some good tunes.

What three words would they use to describe themself?

Doing her best, Exhausted, Disappointment

What three words would their friends/family use to describe them?

Dedicated, hard-working, lovely, funny, smart, amazing, brave, oblivious, insecure, dashing, loyal, protective, humble, dedicated, compassionate

What nicknames do they have? Any particular stories behind them?

She’s called ‘Lulu’ or ‘Fuckin Idiot’ by Tam, and is called “Nana’ or ‘My Blessed One’ by Nivviah. No one really else has given her a nickname so far.

Do they consider themself a good person? Why or why not?

No. She tries to be but she knows that she can’t erase what she’s done or who she is. She’s gotten so many people killed, some of them being the family of her closest friends.

If they were a cryptid, what would they be?

Nessie; shy, reclusive but will fuck you up if you try to hurt her family. She is also strong and intelligent.

What is the one thing they wish they could’ve said to a loved one, but never did?

She wishes she could’ve told Nivviah that she loved her sooner because oh my god being kissed by Nivviah is the second most amazing feeling in the world (You know what she thinks is the first most amazing feeling ;) )

What would they tell their ten year old self?

‘You have more to life than this. You are going to meet so many people who love you, even if you don’t deserve it.’

Who would be on their team in an all out prank war? Who would they be against?

Tam and Nivviah would be on her side, and she’d pick Ravi, Crumb, and Psyche just because she doesn’t want to hurt them, but everyone is fair game. Square up, Val. This is what you get for always causing Luna a heart attack with your disregard for your own life.

Can they drive a car? Are they good at it? (If cars don’t exist, would they be able to drive if they existed?)

She would be abysmal at it, but passed the driving test the very last time with one question away from failing. Don’t ask her to drive your brand new BMW.

Tell the story behind their most stupid injury/scar.

She has a burn mark on her palm when she was seven and tried to pick up a hot coal because she thought it was pretty and glowy. It took her all of ten seconds to learn that it was a bad idea and her sisters had to help her ice it.

What word(s) would they freeze up at if someone said it to them?

‘You’re lying to everyone and they’ll leave you if they know’, ‘Monster’, ‘Deceiver’, ‘Traitor’, and ‘It’s your fault that all your friends’ family is dead. And they know it too’

Who is someone that they don’t talk to much, but would probably get along with?

Now that Icio’s technically her in-law she would love to talk to them, but they don’t seem keen on talking to her. She hopes in the future she can get close to them.

Have they ever done something they think is unforgivable?

To her, she can’t forgive the fact that she exists.

What type of soda would be their favorite?

Rum and coke.

What do they want more than anything?

For the war to be over and everyone live in the freedom they deserve.

What is their fatal flaw?

She dwells on the past and is too scared of thinking it’ll catch up to her to focus on the future.

What Greek God would they be most like?

Hera, goddess of women, family, and queen of the gods. Also she’s vengeful as fuck to anyone who messes with her family.

Who do they looks the most up to?

Nivviah and the elder Rafels, for different reasons. Nivviah for leaving her entire planet to save several others she doesn’t even know, and Elliot and Xavier Rafel for being really the first people outside the Freedom Vessel to trust her and believe in her. Besides Val’s sisters, they are the deaths she mourns the most.

If they had to pick between their best friend or significant other, who would they pick?

She couldn’t pick between Tam and Nivviah. She’d just let herself die and not deal with the consequences.

#imaturtlebug #Luna Sorrotai #genesis campaign #my characters

1 note · View note

pixiealtaira · 7 years

Text

Important Qualities in a friend

Pairing: None. Friendship fic. Starring Kurt and Elliot and Dani.

Kurt didn’t actually ever stop and write out what he thought were the most important qualities in a friend until much later in his life than he ought to have, really. Especially considering he did the whole ‘journal by listing things about yourself’ thing at the start of high school…when one of the online helps he saw said write things down and journal and he himself thought he’d rather not be depressed for life and writing what was upsetting him seemed counterproductive.

He didn’t even think about it at all, except for constantly finding himself disappointed in his friends, until Elliot made a comment about making sure his friends were meeting the qualities he consider important and not just him meeting their whims or needs…that friendships were a two way relationship, just like romance and sex. Of course Kurt hadn’t focused on the friendship part because he was rather mind blown by the romance and sex reminder at the time (and realizing he wasn’t getting that either, and that Elliot assumed he was).

It wasn’t until after Blaine and he broke-up after the engagement and Rachel was off in LA and Mercedes was off touring with Santana and Brittany and NO ONE would answer his calls at all that Kurt got drunk and wrote out his list.

He was so drunk he didn’t remember writing it. Instead he went to the stupid therapist that he found in papers Rachel had left when she departed who told him everything was all his fault…he was supposed to give everything he had to a relationship if he wasn’t the alpha male in it. If he wasn’t the alpha male he needed to be the wife and the wife’s job was to cater to her husband…or his husband if he was the effeminate one, which he always had to be with a voice like his. Of course she also told him that he should never ever top and even if he’d rather top he needed to train himself to be the ultimate submissive bottom so men would like him, because that would be the only reason men would like him. Then he went speed dating, trying out his new ‘I’ll be whatever you want’ tone…which he never really got to show because speed dating was stupid and there wasn’t time for anything. And the idiot said he wasn’t over his ex and he wasn’t really over Blaine…it hadn’t been but a few months. He still wasn’t sleeping and eating properly. And then NO ONE showed up when they were supposed to and he was alone and knew it. Alone was scary and hurt and thoughts just echoed in his head. So when Rachel showed her face again and demanded his attention again and her face was in Lima and Blaine was there too…Kurt decided to run home.

He was pulling out his suitcases to pack when he found the list.

A good friend has time for you…as much time for you as you have for them.

A good friend picks up the phone when you call and talks about what you want to talk about…not just themselves. Sometimes a good friend just listens just like sometimes you just listen, but a good friend won’t make you always just listen.

A good friend calls before canceling plans.

A good friend respects your time and effort and person and things.

A good friend does what you want to do, watches what you want to watch, listens to what you want to listen to, about half the time when you are together.

A good friend makes you laugh and lets you laugh, but a good friend also lets you cry and provides comfort and support.

Oh and they let you cry when YOU need to, not when it is convenient for them or on their timetable.

A good friend asks and does not constantly demand.

There were more listed, but Kurt was shaking so hard he had to set down the paper and seat himself before he fell. When Rachel had called, breaking her silent treatment of the world…or returning from her retreat from the world, whichever way you’d like to put it, and Kurt definitely put it in the silent treatment category…she told him he had to come home to Lima, she needed him.

Sure, she briefly told him she’d love to hear about his side to his break-up with Blaine, but she also insisted he do so in person while he helped her run glee club. Then laid out how he would help her and everything she hoped to do with it and she needed him to work the music and such, because she didn’t take those courses in NYADA, but he had to make sure she had songs to sing to showcase what could be done.

She also lectured him about letting Blaine go and how he had been petty and Kurt knew she’d been talking to Blaine and it had fed into the echo chamber in his head of “Blaine is always right, you were wrong and always were wrong, and you needed to have done whatever it was Blaine wanted’ and just bounced around in there. On the other hand he was NOT ALLOWED to say anything about Rachel’s show bombing or talk about anything she could have done different, which of course just made him itch to say ‘I told you so’.

And really, as much as Rachel ‘needed her best friend…her best gay’ to ‘get her through the tragedy that is her life in ruins’ and ‘help mourn the destruction of her blazing star’ and ‘gather the ashes of her entire future so he can rebuild her’, her offer to help him was to ‘listen to see if he could actually explain how he could let Blaine go and break the poor dear’s heart’.

Kurt curled up on his bed. Had he ever had a friend like he listed? Rachel didn’t fit the description, nor did Santana or Brittany. He wasn’t even sure Mercedes and Tina did way back when. Blaine never did, either.

Adam could have met his requirements for a friend…had they had the chance to get to know each other better and develop a relationship. Kurt was certain he would have, given a chance. Adam had let him laugh and cry…made him laugh, even…and encouraged him to have fun and be silly, without worrying what other people might think. And once when they were going to meet for coffee between classes… just grab it and go, not even sit down and enjoy coffee…Adam called because he got held up in his class and was running slow, giving Kurt the option of skipping the meet-up if he was worried about being late. And they watched shows and movies they both liked, taking turns picking things out. Now looking back, Kurt wanted to cry over it. He’d kept secrets…big ones like his dad’s cancer and exactly what happened to cause the first break-up…which affected his behavior and never gave them the chance to get to the point of sharing that deeply with each other. Heck, he gave Adam less than two months to share deeply before letting Blaine and Rachel and his dad and others convince him that Blaine was the one for him, since they knew each other so deeply.

Elliot fit his friend description. Kurt was the bad friend in that relationship at the end. He kept breaking plans because Kurt having plans with Elliot made Blaine upset. Kurt always called when he did so, though. He’d been glad when Elliot got to opportunity to go to the yoga retreat to learn how to be an instructor…and not just for the break it would give Elliot in terms of supplemental income. It made it so talking to Elliot was easier to hide and made it so Kurt didn’t have to actually break up the band, like Blaine had been pushing for him to do. Dani had been a good friend, as well. Even Chase had fit more of Kurt’s list of friendship needs than everyone Kurt had been calling friends and thus listening to.

Kurt called his dad and said he was staying in New York and called the rental place and canceled the rental car. He called Rachel to tell her he wasn’t going to make it, at least not right away. She didn’t answer, so he left a message.

Then he called Elliot, who wasn’t answering his phone but always responded to his voice messages when he had a chance.

Kurt was sure his voice message sounded pathetic.

“Elliot, when do you get home? I miss you.”

He must have sounded even more pathetic than he’d thought, because Dani knocked on his door two hours later with Ice Cream and cheesecake.

“So….” Dani started their conversation. “What is new?”

And that was that. Kurt bawled and spilled all the details of his miserable life since Dani had been on tour with her roller derby team and Elliot had gone off to the retreat and Dani had found him a new therapist within ten minutes of him speaking of his current one.

He wasn’t nearly as prone to tears when Elliot called a few hours later, during his ‘contact with the world’ time, and was able to just smile during Elliot’s lecture about Kurt not calling them earlier. Elliot was going to be home in a week and Dani was around for the rest of the fall and throughout the winter, only touring again if her team did well enough during their local season. Elliot and Dani convinced Kurt to stay in New York with them and start up the band again.

“What were you going to do about school?” Dani asked after Elliot had ended his call.

“Well, it is mid-September. I’ve already put six weeks into a play at the retirement home and I need to find another six week or so project. Rachel suggested I use the glee club. Other than work-study, I have two online classes…both writing…and need to do so many hours of dance and vocal training a week, from other sources than the school. I’ve been doing an adult tap and jazz at the local gym and I’m taking vocal training from a man who worked at Julliard when he was younger. I want to get a bit of classical type training. However, I could have done the online courses wherever I was, as well as paid for dance and vocal training.”

“So…what does your work-study have to be in?” Dani asked.

Kurt shrugged. “Something in the field of entertainment. The course description was incredibly vague. Adam once said one of the Apples did part of his by working as an Usher for one of the Broadway theaters.”

Dani smiled. “I have some ideas.”

Kurt woke with a start later, looking around and finding Dani snoring on the floor next to him. Papers of all sorts surrounded them and the empty carton of Ice Cream was tipped to the side, making a mess. Luckily it was near his foot and not near any of the papers. Kurt tidied up the piles…moving bits of lyrics and music into one and costume ideas into another and other bits of notes into a third. He picked up the ice cream carton and tossed it into the trash bin and then wet a cloth to wipe off the floor enough so he could relax. He tore into the box he’d packed blankets and such into, grabbing a pillow and blanket to cover Dani with. He grabbed his own from where he’d packed them away and moved back to where they fell asleep. He lifted Dani’s head enough to place a pillow under it and covered her up before snuggling up beside her on the floor.

Maybe this time he could get the whole friend thing right and he hadn’t missed all his chances at it after all.

#glee fanfic #Kurt Hummel #dani #elliot gilbert

8 notes · View notes