#elliot stabler mention

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Actor Christopher Meloni (Law & Order, Oz) and The X Factor UK contestant Christopher Maloney (nicknamed Baloney Maloney) are confirmed to be the same person.

I was the first one to realize the truth and made a subreddit in which I was trying to prove it to others, but nobody believed me and everybody called me a "lunatic conspiracy theorist".

A picture of me was featured on a morning talk show and the whole world watched as the hosts mocked me for having more eyebrow hair on one side than the other and claimed this proved I was unreliable.

I felt vindicated when TMZ and DailyMail finally broke the story after years of me alone yelling at the clouds angrily. They didn't credit me at all even though they stole all my proof.

I tried to get my own talk show running on the wings of being right about Meloni/Maloney, but almost nobody would watch me. I only had two viewers; my mom and Christopher.

The show was called "The Baloney Felonies".

#christopher meloni #chris meloni #christopher maloney #law and order #svu #elliot stabler #law and order svu #law and order oc #oc #law and order organized crime #organized crime #x factor #the x factor #food mention #tmz #dailymail #baloney #actor #singer #dream

[svuobsessed]

Olivia Benson X Daughter reader

Summary: Y/N Benson is attacked on her way home, her Mum is not happy and Elliot is pissed.

TW: almost SA, description of almost rape, not much only the first part.

Third person pov...

14 year old Y/N Benson was on her way home from school, texting her friends as she walked, her bag on her back, she was heading to the station to meet her Mum so they could go home together.

As she walked she walked past a white man mid 20s, The instant she did she felt his eyes on her, it heightened her anxiety but she kept on walking, slowly she got out her phone from her pocket and began tapping on it.

The man then pushed himself away from the wall and began following the teen, he was tall, kept his head down.

Y/N looked behind her every few seconds while tapping on her phone.

She was planning to text her Mum and tell her what was happening, as she did she began quicker, she heard the man walk faster to catch up with her.

The H/C girl taps her Mums contact and begins typing, they had a code word for incidents like this.

"Hey there" comes voice from behind the girl scaring her. She turns quickly and hides her phone, the teen looks up it was the guy following her.

She stared at the man, not saying a word. This made the man angry, Y/N saw grit his teeth slightly, she then inches away slightly from him.

The guy keeps a friendly smile on his face as he looks at the young girl. "Sorry for scaring ya. Just wanted to ask if you could tell me where the library is?" He asks the girl, Y/N doesnt relax her legs tense she was ready to run if the guy posed as a threat.

She looks at the time on her phone her message to her Mum still open. Once seeing the time she looks back up. "Sorry can't help you" she says to the man unapologetic.

She turns to run but her wrist is grabbed, the mans grip was hard and it was painful. Y/N tried to wretch her arm away but it only made the grip on her wrist tighten, he was twisting her wrist a way it shouldn't go.

Tears at the corner of her eyes she tried to yell for help but one look from the guy said 'you scream and I break it' so she kept her mouth shut, with her hand gone she uses her other to try and text behind her back.

The guy sees this and grabs her phone, eyes in horror Y/N watches as he smashes her phone, struggling in his arms Y/N tries to wriggle away but isn't able to, she is then dragged into an alleyway.

She teenager tries to drag her feet but he is to strong, Tears in her eyes Y/Ns back is forced up again the wall, she begins scratching at the man, his hands , face anywhere she could reach. The guy takes it and pins her wrists to the wall.

He then slaps her face. "Stop struggling bitch! Or this will hurt" he yells at her, the teen freezes in fear, cheek turning a nasty red.

Smirking he begins trailing his free hand to her chest unbuttoning her school shirt, she looked away from him as he kept touching her, "Mummy" she cries quietly.

Thinking of her mum gave her the strength to open her eyes, she starts to stare, the creep looks up at her smirk gone at the new found fury in her eyes.

'Show no fear' she thinks, as she continues staring into his eyes. Luckily he let's go of her wrists, taking the chance Y/N swings her leg back and kicks him in thr groin.

"Fuck! You little bitch!" He yells holding his area, Y/N quickly rips out of his grasp, grabbing her bag she hits him one last time before running out of the alleyway not stopping until she got to the station.

Olivia was sat at her desk, her daughter was late. Looking at the clock again she became even more worried. Y/N should've been there 20 minutes ago.

Elliot waves at his partner from across the table. "Liv? Hello? Liv!" Liv shake sher head ans turns to Elliot. "Sorry El" she tells him.

Elliot shakes his head. "It'll right, are you okay?" He asks her, Olivia goes to answer but us cut off by something behind Elliot.

Face of horror, she stands from her desk and walks around Elliot towards the entrance, standing at the doors was a young girl, school shirt unbuttoned, shirt ruffled, bag barely hanging onto her shoudler, her face was a bright red turning purple.

"Y/N, baby what happened to you?" Before anyone knew it the young girl collapsed in a fit of sobs falling to her knees, Olivia bent to catch her in her arms. The girl only sobbed harder as she clung to the woman.

Liv tried to comfort her but was unsuccessful, eventually they were able to move the two into a room. Olivia sat with her daughter curled up on her lap still holding onto her neck.

Olivia rubbed her hand up and down

Y/Ns back, the girl was clearly traumatized, the team were worried.

"Y/N baby, you gotta tell me whats happened okay" she tells the girl, Y/N had calmed down alot since she was in her mother's arms.

Outside Elliot is pacing, he was worried about Y/N. He'd never seen her so upset before it scared him.

Inside Y/N pulled away from her Mums shoudler, sniffling she told her. Olivia was shocked, she was worried and she was pissed. "Baby, I'm so sorry that happened to you, I swear to god I will catch that bastard" she reassured the teen.

Eventually Y/N passed out from all her crying, Liv gave her a change of clothes a mix of her tshirt and Elliots sweatpants. The teen was currently asleep in the cots in the lockeroom.

Liv sits at her desk frozen as if in a trace, after what her daughter told her she didn't know what to think. As she sat El walked over to her.

"Liv, hey did Y/N tell you what happened?" He asks her, Liv shakes herself awake, the tears in her eyes scare Elliot, he kneels on the floor infront of her holding her hand gently.

"Liv-Ss-she told me she was almost raped" she cries, Elliot pulls her into a hug. If he didn't he would've smashed his fit into the table. "W-what" his throat dry.

Once Y/N was awake she gave them a description of the man who attacked her, she told them everything she rememberd she could never forget the way his hands felt or his piercing gaze.

Days later they caught the guy, attacking another young girl, before hand cuffing him Elliot and Liv managed to get a few good hits in for Y/N, all the team managed to get revenge for Y/N, Fin slammed him extra hard into the table in the interrogation room.

Munch made fun of the guy and told all his insecurities, Casey tore into him during his trail so bad he instantly pleaded guilty and got sent to prison for 20 years.

After that Liv made sure Y/N never walked home by herself again, always either with a friend or member of SVU. Y/N eventually recovered from the ordeal.

The end!

A rather angsty one hope you liked it, sorry for the wait, also for any grammar and Spelling mistakes.

Requests are open!

Word count: 1302

#angst #law and order svu #svu #olivia benson #elliot stabler #happy ending #oneshot #assult #x teen!reader #olivia benson x teen reader #olivia benson x daughter reader #tw sa mention #very angsty #bastard gets what he deserves

[2ctheocean]

Hot take: EO is not ready to be together, no matter how much the fandom is ready for them to be. Elliot has barely acknowledged any of what had happened to Liv in the last 10 years. He hasn't asked. The one time he did, he fixated on her dating life. Not her kid, not her cases, not her trauma or how she made captain. Her dating life.

Doing all of that would mean admitting to her face that he was wrong to ghost her for a decade and that he regrets how much he missed (more than the half-assed version we got). Which will be hard for Stabler, who has a tough time being honest about his emotions anyway (the therapy is a FANTASTIC first step). Until he gets ALL of that information and tells her that, she's not going to be convinced he won't ever leave her again.

There's so much that's a part of her now that Stabler just doesn't know about.

And the one thing the fandom keeps forgetting is that Liv was traumatized by him leaving. One could argue Lewis was the peak of that truama on top of being his own hellbeast.

They were joined at the hip for 12 years. And then he just ghosted her. And for those four days when Lewis had her, she was forced to rely only on herself.

She's kept everyone else at a distance since he left. There have been dozens of moments in the last decade where she's been reminded of him-"did you really think he was going to look over one day and realize you were the woman he couldn't live without?"- But the last part of her that believed she wouldn't always need to save herself took a fatal blow when she saved herself from Lewis. Up until that moment, a small part of her geniunely hoped Elliot'd smash through the door and save her. She was thinking about him the entire time he was there.

But Stabler stayed gone, and she stayed alone, and she had to learn to be okay with it. His silence indicated to her that she wasn't in his thoughts, that everything she thought she knew about their bond wasn't real.

And then it was affirmed by Kathy's letter.

And then thrown off all over again by Elliot saying "In a parellel universe, it will always be you and I."

So. Many. Mixed. Signals.

Now he's back, and she's unwilling to take that wall down again because it's such a big risk. Ed was the only one after Elliot who even partially got through, and she did eventually shut him out when he got too close. Elliot has not earned his way back into her heart. He might have taken his first steps, but it's going to be a long road.

Or Benson is going to get abducted or something and Stabler's going to burst in and save her like he should have done a decade ago and it's going to make her understand that she can trust him again (this feels cheap to me as a social worker, but as a writer, it will make for great television)

This is all compounded by the fact that People. Keep. Walking. Out. On. Her.

The moment she forms what feels unbreakable, they're gone. The moment she feels safe and comfortable with them, they're gone. Munch, Craegon, Nick. Chief Dodds and his son. Barba. Stone. Kat. Garland.

And then Amanda almost died. And then Benson had to give her up too. Amanda, the closest thing she's ever had to a sister. Who's kids she's godmother too. The woman her son calls "Aunt" and has known since day one. Who has similiar problems and truamas, who was there for the worst moments of her life and went through her own with Liv right there.

I suspect the only reason Liv didn't take it even harder is because of Carisi. As long as she has him, Amanda's close by and she hasn't lost her completely. Amanda and Carisi are a packaged duo now (yet another set of partners Liv has watched get the happy ending she should have gotten with Elliot but that's another post).

She's still in a freefall though. It's why she's suddenly scrambling for reassurance from Fin that he's not leaving too. He's all she has left, the only one who's stayed. Ironically, he's the longest relationship she's ever had with a man now. Her brother in every way that matters.

Notice that while Fin struggles with Amanda leaving, he doesn't take it nearly as hard, at least that we've seen. He has Phoebe, after all. His partner- the one that mattered most, the one that came back. (All of this is being said before the Fin centeric episode in a week or two)

I've digressed here. Fin grounds her enough that she can keep working. He gets her to fill Amanda's desk. But she's still reeling. She's in no place to trust anyone new right now, or love anyone new.

And anything with Elliot she started right now would be new. Uncertain. And while she may know in her heart of hearts that he'll never leave her again, you cannot blame her for being tired of being hurt. That's what was happening when she stepped back from him to lean on the fridge. She wants to lean on him, fall into him, but she's so emotionally exhausted that she just can't risk it. She's Not Ready because she won't survive loving him again and then losing him again (too).

TLDR: I will defend Liv's reluctance to trust again to my dying breath and it's justified no matter how impatient I or the rest of the fandom get.

#this wasn't meant to be an essay #law and order svu #olivia benson #bensler #elliot x olivia #elliot stabler #mentions of Rollisi #Mentions of Amanda Rollins #No Barson in this one #sorry #you know I'm Bensler trash #but it's still a long way off #Benson is traumatized and I will not judge her for Not Being Ready #it's coming #don't get me wrong #but its not time yet

[bensonnstabler]

season 4 episode 22 is a blueprint for the lewis talk change my mind

i don't know if anyone has made this comparison before, but michael gardner of 4 x 22 is william lewis Lite™️. he is innocuously charming, psychologically manipulative, acts in his own defence to intimidate witnesses, has an affair with his lawyer and quote cragen "has a hard-on for olivia".

there are some very common hallmarks of 1.0 bensler in this ep, including protective!elliot (after gardner lays one on liv and we get possibly one of my most favourite tropes in drama [bad guy gets roughed up and they blame it on "accidental" trips and falls. yes i am referencing that scene in a scandal in belgravia and i'm sorry]) but also Big Emotions and liv driving an hour to sit sullenly on elliot's doorstep not knowing exactly was his plans were but knowingly inserting herself into his "one night as a bachelor".

if elliot came back sooner after lewis (like say in season 18/19) then i reckon that the convo they had on his doorstep in this ep could be a good indicator. it has liv being self deprecating/serving, elliot's idea of comforting her with the job (he's the job) and could easily translate or lend itself to a deeper place we'd expect them to go during such a chat

now obviously it's almost too little too late (i just wanna talk @warren leight) and if you want to read what in my opinion IS the frontrunner in the lewis chat prediction fics then head to svu-oc-obsessed's masterpiece here x

but i really want to see elliot get mad and protective and exasperated over liv's self sacrificial tendencies because god damnit if they're gonna take the next step she has to actually be in one piece to do it (it being whatever it is you fancy in this context)

tldr; this ep is a good one and set the foundation for an extended villain arc and therefore any subsequent Chat™️ between our favourite two idiots in love about such an event

full disclosure i really liked the lewis arc when i first watched it, and even learning abouts WL's exploits hasn't necessarily soured it beyond reproach. i am nervous as hell for this chat but if they keep this sort of formula as basis i believe it will come out half decent

✨️ this incoherent rambling is brought to you by holiday retail work induced delerium ✨️

#law and order svu #olivia benson #elliot stabler #william lewis #william lewis mention #svu season 4 #eo #bensler #lewis arc #hd writes #bswrites

[soopertiddies]

Me: *having a good day*

Me: *Remembers that episode of law and order svu when Elliot has beef with some male victim for literally being SEXUALLY ASSAULTED by WOMEN because he doesn't think it can happen to men*

Me: What the fuck...

#TW: mention of sa #law and order svu #TW: mention of abuse #elliot stabler #sometimes he missed the mark by a mile #ALEX HIT HIM WITH YOUR CAR

[fatecantstopme]

The Connection

Pairing: Elliot Stabler x reader

Summary: Elliot Stabler is your best friend and has been for years. When he and Kathy get divorced, you let yourself wonder what it would be like to be with him...despite your current relationship status. Elliot's jealously will either bring you together or tear you apart.

Warnings: Divorce. Panic Attack. Gun shot wounds. Mentions of death. Hospital. Cursing. Use of pet names. SMUT, oral (M & F receiving), face sitting, unprotected sex (P in V)

It had been eight months since Elliot and Kathy had divorced. Eight months Elliot had spent alone, trying to figure out what the hell to do next. Eight months of trying to find the words to say and eight months of failing to.

The first couple months after Elliot's divorce, you thought about telling him how you felt--how you'd felt for years. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about it every single day since the moment he told you they were getting divorced.

Your fear of losing your best friend was what stopped you from ever admitting your feelings. You couldn't bear to face that possibility. You’d rather have him as just your friend than nothing at all.

But everything changed for you when you met a handsome stranger just outside your favorite coffee shop on your way to work. Tony, as you would later learn, was an emergency room doctor at Mercy Hospital. He had just recently moved to the city after finishing his residency at a hospital in Chicago.

Before long, you and Tony were inseparable. He was kind, charming, and funny--and he treated you better than any man ever had. You were content, happy even, despite the little voice in the back of your mind. The voice that reminded you of how much you loved Elliot--how much you needed him.

That voice was always strongest when you were together, which meant you started to pull away from him--spending more time with Tony and less with Elliot. Even though the two of you worked together and saw each other nearly every day, you tended to stay in your office and avoid too much actual contact with him if you could.

You felt badly about the distance you'd created, but you didn't know what else to do. If Elliot felt the same way, he'd never even hinted at it, let alone expressed it, so you felt the point was moot. Why put yourself through the pain of rejection if you didn't have to? Plus, you had Tony now. Focusing on your relationship with him had to be your priority.

Elliot was no fool. He watched you pull away from him after you met Tony—and he thought he knew why. He couldn’t stand to hear you talk about him—didn’t want to imagine you with someone else. Someone other than him. He had no right to feel that way and he knew it, but there are just some things you can’t control.

You’d been with Tony for 6 months when Elliot finally reached his breaking point. The two of you, along with Olivia, Munch, and Fin, were in the squad room after a particularly stressful case. You were chatting with Olivia about her latest beau and she inquired about Tony. You told her you had been canceling dinner plans with him for the last week due to your case load, but you were planning on seeing him tonight.

“He’s perfect for you, (Y/N),” Olivia said with a smile. “You always light up when you talk about him.”

You offered her a small smile in return. “He really is amazing.” You leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially. “I think he’s been shopping for rings.”

Olivia’s eyes widened. “How long’s it been?”

“6 months,” you answered.

“Damn. That’s fast.” She shrugged, “but if you know, then you know.”

You opened your mouth to tell her that you didn’t know, but Elliot beat you to it. “Jesus, (Y/L/N), I didn’t expect you to just marry the first guy who jumped in your bed. When did you turn into such a needy slut?”

Your face paled and you stepped back as if he’d slapped you. He knew you well enough to know exactly what to say to hurt you and he didn’t pull his punches.

“What the hell, Elliot?” Olivia snapped.

Elliot avoided making eye contact with you—immediately regretting his outburst. He wasn’t one to apologize, and to be honest, he wasn’t very good at it, but he felt the strong urge to beg for your forgiveness.

“I shouldn’t've—“ he started.

“Leave it,” you cut in. “Whatever it is you were about to say, just don’t.” You grabbed your coat and your bag before turning back in his direction. “I’m going to dinner with a man who treats me with respect and genuinely cares about me. I would think you of all people would be happy for me.” You paused. “I know you're tired and stressed, but you don't have the right to take it out on me. I'm your friend, Elliot, although given what you just said to me, I'm not even sure about that."

With that, you walked out the door, never slowing or sparing a glance behind you.

Elliot felt terrible in more ways than one as he watched you leave. He could feel the gazes of his friends, but he couldn’t bear to look at them. “I’m going home,” he mumbled.

“Yeah, maybe you should get some sleep before you insult anyone else,” Fin said none too gently.

In any other situation, Elliot would have clapped back, but the fact that he'd just hurt you like that made him keep his mouth shut. He threw on his coat and stormed out of the precinct before anyone else could speak.

The entire way home, Elliot was fuming. He was mad at himself, mad at Tony, but most of all he was mad at you. Mad that you found someone who fit you so perfectly. Mad that you wanted someone else. Mad that you were happy. God help him--he felt terrible for it--hated himself, even. What kind of person felt this way about their best friend? Wasn't he supposed to be your number one supporter? Your biggest champion?

He was filled with regret as he entered his small apartment. It was mostly empty and completely devoid of personality. He had pictures of his kids, but not much else.

There was, however, one particularly special picture in the living room. He walked over to it and picked up the frame, his heart clenching as he stared at it. It was a picture of you and him on a random Saturday. He'd dragged you to the park for an early morning run, which he knew you hated. You'd gotten your revenge by pushing him into a pond beside the running path.

After you'd stopped laughing, you tried to help him out of the water, but he pulled you in with him, leaving you both soaking wet and laughing hysterically. When you made it back to dry land, you'd dragged him close and snapped a picture of the two of you--muddy, wet, and laughing.

The picture really showcased your personality--light, bubbly, happy, and just a bit goofy. It was his favorite picture and one of his favorite moments with you...it was the moment he realized he loved you. A feeling he'd never expressed, even though he'd felt it long before he and Kathy solidified their divorce.

It was almost two years later and he still hadn't told you how he felt. And now that he was a free man--and had been for a while--you'd found the man of your dreams. He'd managed to blow his chance to be with you and now it was too late.

The picture suddenly became blurry and he sat it back down on the table before wiping his eyes. He wasn't good with emotions and he was thankful no one was there to witness this particular display.

He tried to push all thoughts of you from his mind as he wandered around his kitchen, scrounging up something to eat. He tried not to picture you at dinner with Tony. He tried not to imagine what you would do after dinner. He tried not to think about anything at all...but no matter what he did, you plagued his mind from the moment you'd walked out the door. He decided to go out to a bar and get himself a drink or two. It was Friday after all and he'd had a long week. Why not blow off some steam?

You weren't in the best of moods when you met Tony for dinner that night. Elliot's words echoed in your ears and the feeling of hurt had yet to dissipate. He'd never lashed out at you like that before. Not once. You'd heard him do it to other people, especially when he was angry or frustrated--but he'd never done it to you. You weren't sure what it meant now that he had, but you were certain it wasn't good.

Tony picked up on your mood immediately and he was obviously concerned. He'd asked if you were alright, if you wanted to reschedule...but you'd told him it had just been a long week and not to worry.

"You seem distracted, (Y/N)," Tony commented gently. "Are you sure you're okay?"

You looked up from the food you'd been playing with on your plate and sighed. "Sorry, Tony. I've got a lot on my mind."

He nodded. You could tell he wanted to probe deeper, but he wisely opted to back off. He started to chatter about some new resident at the hospital, complaining about how green the kid was, and your mind began to drift.

You knew you should have been paying attention, but you really couldn't find the energy to--or perhaps desire was the better word. All you could think about was Elliot. When had everything gone so wrong? How did it all become so fucked up? Why did you care so much? He clearly didn't.

A single tear slid down your cheek and dropped onto your plate, surprising you out of your thoughts. You hadn't realized you'd been crying until that moment. You quickly wiped your eyes, hoping Tony wouldn't notice. When you glanced up at him, you knew he'd seen and you could tell he wanted to know what the hell was going on.

The problem was, you weren't even sure what was happening. Why did you feel so damn sad? As you stared at Tony, you realized there was only one person you wanted to talk to about it...and it wasn't the man in front of you. You were hurting and you only wanted the man who'd hurt you. How fucked up was that?

"Seriously, babe, what's going on?" Tony asked gently, concern lacing his voice.

You shook your head. "I don't really wanna talk about it."

"Okay...I wouldn't normally push, but you were literally just crying into your pasta."

"I'm aware, Anthony," you said rather harshly.

He winced slightly and you sighed sadly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to snap," you said softly.

"It's okay."

There was something about the placating tone of his voice that just set you off. "No it's not! None of this is okay! I'm not okay!"

He was clearly taken aback by the intensity of your outburst and you found yourself feeling incredibly embarrassed...and perhaps a bit annoyed.

"I just--I just wanna go home," you mumbled.

"Okay," he said gently. "Why don't you go wait in the car. I'll pay the bill."

He handed you the keys and you practically ran out of the restaurant. You couldn't explain what you were feeling--it was like you were suffocating, like the very air you were breathing was toxic. Your heart was pounding out of your chest and everything just felt wrong. Your vision started to darken and you felt like you were being crushed...you fell to your knees on the sidewalk, body shaking as you started to hyperventilate.

Moments later, Tony came rushing out and dropped to his knees beside you. You could hear him asking you what was wrong, but you couldn't answer him. You hadn't recognized the signs at first, but somewhere inside you, you knew you were having a panic attack. You couldn't explain why and you certainly couldn't tell him what was happening.

You heard Tony say something about an ambulance, but your brain was too foggy to comprehend what was happening. You'd had panic attacks all your life, but this one felt different--it came on even more suddenly and it was more intense than any attack you'd ever had before. Something about it felt final...deadly.

You heard the sounds of sirens in the distance, and at first you thought they were headed for you, but they never seemed to move any closer. Your vision was almost black, your head was pounding, and you felt as if your body was full of lead--you knew you were moments away from passing out. The last thing you heard was the ringing of a cellphone in close proximity to you. Just as you realized the phone was yours, you succumbed to the blackness of unconsciousness.

A couple blocks away, an ambulance and several police officers were responding to a call for shots fired at a local bar. According to the call, one man was dead, one was critically injured, and four more were wounded.

Witnesses said a man had opened fire inside the bar after an argument had escalated. After the first few shots rang out, another man had gotten up from his seat, pulled out his gun, and identified himself as police. The first gunman pulled the trigger twice, shooting the police officer twice in the chest. As he was falling to the ground, he pulled his own trigger, killing the gunman almost instantly with a shot directly to the heart.

The officer laid on the ground, blood seeping from his wounds, terror gripping his body. His only thought was of his family, and how he would never get to see them again.

He could hear voices all around him, but he couldn't make out what they were saying. His eyes were glazed and unfocused, and he was beginning to feel cold. He knew what that meant, even if he didn't want to admit it.

He heard the scream of sirens followed by the sound of footsteps near him. He heard a man's voice ask a question, but he didn't hear the response.

He heard snippets of what was said, "Gun," "argument," "scared,"...but the one that caught his attention was "Benson." He didn't understand why someone had said his partner's name and he tried to ask, but his voice came out as nothing but incoherent sounds.

The sound of more sirens neared and he began to drift towards sleep or death...he wasn't sure which one. His eyes had closed and his body felt heavy as he took what he feared would be his last few breaths.

"Detective Benson," Olivia answered on the second ring.

"Hi, Detective. This is Officer Bailey."

"Hey, Bailey. You got a case for me?"

"Not exactly, ma'am..." he paused. "It's your partner. Detective Stabler?"

Olivia felt her blood go cold. "What about him?"

"He was involved in an incident at O'Malley's Bar on 5th," Bailey said slowly. "Bar fight turned deadly. Apparently, Detective Stabler shot the gunman."

She inhaled sharply. "Is he alright?"

There was a pause on the other end of the line that told Olivia everything she needed to know. "How bad is it?" she asked softly.

"It's bad, detective. They're taking him to Mercy Hospital. You should probably go there."

Olivia's first thought was of Elliot's kids--she needed to call them when she had more information. She didn't want to scare them if she didn't need to. "Thanks for the call. I'm heading over there now."

She hung up, grabbed her keys and her coat, then ran out the door. She intended to drive with lights and sirens to get there--policy be damned.

When she got to the first floor of her apartment building, it suddenly hit her that she should call you. Even after his comments earlier that day, Elliot was still your best friend. You'd want to know if something happened to him and you'd be beyond pissed if Olivia didn't tell you right away.

She called your phone several times as she drove to the hospital, each time leaving a voicemail begging you to call her back.

She was thankful she lived so close to the hospital and she made it there in record time. She pulled up to the emergency room entrance just as an ambulance pulled up to the front doors.

Olivia quickly got out of her car and jogged towards the entrance, but she stepped aside as EMS rushed someone through the doors. Olivia's face paled as she got a good look at the person on the gurney--you.

She ran in after them, practically running right into Tony as he came in. Olivia recognized him immediately. "What the hell happened?" she asked in a rush.

Tony looked over at her in surprise, as if he was just realizing she was there. A look of recognition crossed his face, but it was quickly replaced with confusion. "She, uh--I don't know. She collapsed outside the restaurant." He eyed her carefully. "What are you doing here?"

"Elliot was involved in some sort of altercation at a bar. They brought him here, so I came down to figure out what the hell happened."

Tony looked shocked. "When?"

"About 15 minutes ago."

Tony's face paled. "That's right about when (Y/N) collapsed..."

Olivia's eyes widened. "What are the odds of that?"

He shook his head. "I'm gonna say extremely unlikely."

She sighed and shook her head too. "I need to check in with the front desk and see what they know."

The ladies at the front desk informed Olivia that Elliot had received two GSWs to the chest and was currently in surgery. They promised to keep her updated and let her know if anything changed. She also asked them to keep her updated on your status as well. It didn't seem likely that the two incidents were connected, but she had to admit it was really damn weird.

Olivia joined Tony in the waiting room and made several phone calls to Elliot's kids and the rest of her team. She wanted to make sure they all knew what was going on. The kids were out of town with Kathy, but Fin, Munch, and Cragen all promised to come down to the hospital immediately.

When they arrived, the five of them sat in the waiting room in silence. None of them knew what to say.

About an hour after the others had arrived, a nurse came into the waiting room. "(Y/L/N)?" she called.

Tony looked up at the sound of your name. He jumped out of his seat and walked towards the nurse. "Is she okay?" he asked urgently.

The nurse nodded. "She's awake and asking for someone named Elliot."

Olivia made eye contact with Fin, who was sitting across from her. He shared her knowing glance before they both looked in Tony's direction.

"Oh, um...I'm her boyfriend. Would I be able to see her?"

The nurse nodded again. "Sure, Dr. Cooper. She's in 103."

Tony immediately headed towards your room without waiting for the nurse to follow. Olivia got up and walked over to the nurse before she could walk away. "Excuse me," she called.

The nurse turned back to her. "Yes?"

"You said (Y/N) was asking for Elliot?"

She nodded. "You know him?"

Olivia nodded her affirmation. "He's my partner. He was brought in about 2 hours ago for GSWs to the chest. I believe he's in surgery right now."

The nurse paled. "Dr. (Y/L/N) didn't have any noticeable injuries. Was she there when he was shot?"

Olivia shook her head. "She was a couple blocks away. We're not sure what happened to her."

"The doctor said it was probably an intense panic attack, based on the symptoms Dr. (Y/L/N) described."

Olivia was a little surprised, but she didn't say it. "Thank you."

The nurse nodded and headed back into the patient area. Olivia returned to her coworkers and shared the information she'd just received.

"A panic attack?" Fin asked in surprise.

Olivia nodded. "That's what the nurse said."

"At the same time Elliot got shot?" Munch asked.

"Roughly, yeah." Olivia confirmed.

"What the hell are the odds of that?" Cragen asked.

"I'd say a million to one," Munch answered.

"At least she's gonna be okay," Fin said softly.

They all nodded their agreement. No one wanted to mention their fears about Elliot's survival...they just had to hope he would pull through.

You'd been surprised to find yourself in the hospital when you awoke, but you quickly realized the intensity of your panic attack must have literally knocked you out. Tony wouldn't have known what was happening, so of course he called 911.

You checked your phone as soon as you woke up and discovered you had several missed calls and messages from Olivia. You listened to the most recent one and felt the blood drain from your face.

"(Y/N), please answer your phone! I'm getting worried. Elliot's been in some sort of altercation and it's bad. I don't know what's going on, but I'm on my way to the hospital. Please call me." Olivia's voice sounded panicked, so you knew it must be really bad.

You pressed your call button and the moment a nurse walked into the room you asked for Elliot. The nurse told you she didn't know who that was, but she said she'd go out to the waiting room to see.

Much to your dismay, the person who walked into your room 5 minutes later, was Tony. You felt terrible for feeling that way, but not seeing Elliot standing in your doorway confirmed your worst fears.

"Elliot?" you whispered, the meaning of your question very clear.

Tony sighed as he came to the side of your bed. "He's in surgery," he said gently.

Your skin was already pale, but you turned white as a sheet upon hearing those words. "What happened?"

"He was shot twice in the chest. Some guy shot several people during a bar fight and Elliot stopped him."

"How bad is it?" You didn't really wanna ask, but Tony was an ER doctor after all...he would know and he wouldn't lie to you.

His expression was sad. "It's bad, (Y/N/N)," he said honestly. "It's really bad."

You couldn't stop the tears from sliding down your cheeks. You didn't want to ask more questions--didn't really wanna know--but you needed to. "What are the odds?"

Tony shook his head, not wanting to upset you further.

"Anthony, please," you begged.

He sighed. "He might not make it through surgery, but even if he does, the chances of survival are slim. He lost a lot of blood and there was internal damage from the bullets."

You closed your eyes and took a shuddering breath. "Where's Olivia?" you whispered.

"She's out in the waiting room. Want me to get her?"

"Please," you said so softly he barely heard you.

A few minutes later, Tony reappeared in the doorway with a distraught Olivia. She pushed past him and into your room, quickly crossing the short distance to your bedside. Tony backed out of the room and out of sight.

"How are you feeling?" she asked worriedly.

"I'm fine," you answered. "I don't understand how this could happen."

Olivia knew what you meant, but she didn't have a good answer for you. Elliot didn't frequent bars alone, nor was he the type to get into any kind of bar fight. But honestly, what really bothered her was the timing of your panic attack. "Why did you have a panic attack?"

You looked at her in surprise. "I--I don't really know. It just came on suddenly."

"Right when Elliot was in trouble? That just seems...odd."

"I can't explain it. I was outside waiting for Tony to pay the bill and it hit me. I was on my knees, unable to breathe, in mere seconds."

"You know I'm not a superstitious person and I don't really believe in any of that mystical stuff, but if I did...I'd say you felt something happen to him and that's why you had the attack."

You wouldn't classify yourself as some kind of mystic either, but you were a psychologist. You'd spent years studying the human mind, and nothing about it made complete sense. The brain is the most complex part of human anatomy...so complex, in fact, that we may never fully understand it.

"I suppose it's possible," you began slowly. "We know there are examples of minds being connected in inexplicable ways, the best example being that of twins. Twins claim to be able to sense each other and understand each other in ways the rest of us could never really understand. Twins a 1,000 miles away from each other claim to know the exact moment their twin died. Some people claim to have similar bonds with siblings and significant others. So while it seems unlikely, it is entirely plausible that such a connection could be formed between two people."

"If anyone was to have a connection like that, it would be you and Elliot."

"What makes you say that?"

Olivia gave you a knowing look, one you'd seen on her face countless times before...just never directed at you. "I might not be a profiler, (Y/N), but I'm not an idiot. It doesn't take a good detective to know that the bond between you and Elliot is different--special."

"He's my best friend," you conceded, although you knew that was not what she meant.

"This goes way beyond friendship," she said simply.

She didn't elaborate and you didn't need her to. Some part of you knew she was right, or at least suspected it. But if her idea of this connection was accurate--and your interpretation of the meaning was accurate--then didn't that imply your feelings were not one-sided?

You weren't sure if you were ready to admit it, but this revelation changed everything for you. In that moment, you decided if Elliot survived this, you would tell him how you feel...consequences be damned.

**********

Two weeks went by without much change or improvement in Elliot's status. He'd made it through surgery, but he'd been in a coma ever since. The doctors weren't quite sure why...there didn't appear to be a medical cause.

You visited Elliot every single day, sometimes spending hours at his bedside talking to him. If there was even the slightest chance he could hear you, it was worth it.

That first night in the hospital had changed a lot of things for you, and it made you realize you couldn't keep pretending anymore. You broke things off with Tony, unable to lead him on any longer. He was surprisingly understanding about it, despite the obvious hurt.

The rest of the squad would stop by periodically to check in on Elliot and to see how you were holding up. You'd come back to work right away, but you'd made yourself as scarce as possible. You weren't ready to face the possibility that Elliot may never wake up, even if your coworkers were.

It was week three of Elliot's coma when you were called to testify in court for an SVU case. It wasn't a case you wanted to relive, but you'd played a vital roll in identifying the offender and your testimony was crucial.

You'd testified for a day and a half before you were finally released from court. Having done your duty, you pulled out your phone to check your messages. You were surprised to see several missed calls--all from Olivia.

Your heart clenched in your chest and terror froze your body in place. You weren't sure you wanted to listen to the message she'd left...you wanted to live in this moment just a while longer. In this moment, in this world, Elliot was still alive, but if you listened to that voicemail, that world might shatter.

You forced your body to move, making your way to a more secluded part of the courthouse before taking a deep breath and pressing 'play' on the voicemail.

"I know you're in court, but I wanted to make sure you heard this as soon as you finished up. We're all at the hospital--Elliot's awake!"

You didn't listen to the rest of the message--nothing else mattered. All you heard was "Elliot's awake!" and you were already running towards the exit. You ran at top speed all the way out of the building and to your car, pushing past anyone who got in the way.

When you reached your car, you jumped in the driver's seat and took off, ignoring almost every single traffic law in existence. All that mattered was getting to the hospital--all that mattered was Elliot.

After parking your car, you raced into the hospital and into the elevator, angrily pressing the button for the 3rd floor repeatedly. When the doors finally opened to the ICU, you sprinted from the elevator and down the hall towards Elliot's room.

You were breathless when you reached the doorway of his room, but you didn't care. Olivia, Munch, Fin, and Cragen all stood around the bed and they turned towards the door when they heard you.

You barely noticed any of them. Your focus was entirely on the man sitting up in bed, his bright blue eyes locked on yours. "Elliot," you breathed softly.

Every single person in that room felt the air shift when you entered. It didn't take a trained investigator to recognize the tension in the air. You didn't move from the doorway and your gaze didn't leave Elliot's face.

"Why don't we give you guys a moment alone?" Cragen suggested as he started to back out towards the door.

The other three followed their captain, Olivia shutting the door as she exited the room.

"Hey," Elliot murmured once the two of you were alone.

"Hi," you said softly, voice catching slightly as your emotions washed over you.

"Come here," he coaxed.

You crossed the room, stopping when you reached the side of his bed.

The two of you stared at each other in silence, emotions threatening to overwhelm both of you. It felt like everything inside you bubbled up all at once and you gasped, "I'm sorry."

Elliot spoke his apology at the exact same time. "I'm sorry."

You both let out a breathy laugh, some of the tension easing from your bodies.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Elliot asked.

"I shouldn't have ever questioned our friendship. It was cruel."

He shook his head. "If anyone was cruel, it was me. Frankly, I deserved way worse than what you said. I didn't mean a word of it, (Y/N), not a single word."

"I know--" you began.

"Let me finish," he cut in insistently. You fell silent, allowing him to continue. "I shouldn't have called you a slut. I shouldn't have judged your relationship--it wasn't my place. I was upset and I took it out on you...it wasn't fair and I'm sorry. You deserve better."

"I appreciate that," you said quietly. "But why did you say it? You're never cruel to me...ever."

The pain in your voice nearly broke his heart in two. "I was mad at you," he mumbled. "It's stupid and it doesn't matter 'cause you're with Tony anyway and you're happy and I should be happy toorightbecauseyou'remybestfriend--"

You grabbed his arm to bring his attention back to you and cut off his ramble. "You can breathe now," you teased you lightly.

He chuckled. "Sorry."

"Don't be. I think it's cute when you ramble like that."

He rolled his eyes. "Great. I'm cute."

You grinned. "Very cute," you said in a teasing tone. As you looked at him, your smile slipped and a sad expression slid into place. "I thought I was going to lose you," you whispered.

He grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly. "I'm harder to get rid of than that."

Tears filled your eyes, despite your attempt to smile. "What happened, Elliot?"

"They didn't tell you?"

"I know the official story, but I wanna hear it from you."

"I needed to blow off some steam, so I went to the bar for a couple drinks. Some guy got into an argument, pulled out a gun, and started shooting...so I shot back."

Your eyes fluttered closed. "You could have been killed."

"But I wasn't."

"But you could have been!" you said loudly. "Why the hell did you go to that bar alone? Why didn't you just stay home? You could have called someone to go with you! You could of--"

"(Y/N)," Elliot cut in gently. "I'm okay."

You realized you'd been rambling and you inhaled deeply to catch your breath. "I was so scared," you whispered. "When I woke up and Olivia told me what had happened...it felt like my world was falling apart. All I wanted was to see you, but you were still in surgery. Even when you finally made it to recovery, they wouldn't let me see you because they wanted to keep me for observation overnight."

"Wait, what? Who wanted to keep you for observation?" he asked, confused.

"The hospital," you answered. "I got here about 5 minutes after you."

"What?" His eyes scanned over your body, checking for wounds or signs of injuries. "Why? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you assured him gently. "It was just a panic attack."

He looked even more confused. "A panic attack?"

"It was intense," you admitted. "I passed out and Tony called 911. I didn't know what happened to you until I woke up in the hospital and listened to my voicemails from Olivia."

"I thought you usually knew when a panic attack was coming on."

"This one was weird. It hit me suddenly and literally brought me to my knees." You paused. "Anyway, I'm fine. How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Elliot admitted. "My chest feels like an elephant is sitting on it."

"Do you need pain meds? I can get the nurse--" you turned to call for the nurse, but he grabbed your arm to stop you.

"No, please--don't go."

You turned back to him. "I'm not going anywhere, but if you're in pain, the nurse can help."

He shook his head. "The meds make me sleep. I don't wanna sleep."

"Alright, but if the pain becomes unbearable, please tell me."

"I will," he promised. "I just want to talk to you for a while longer."

You smiled. "I can't say no to that."

For the next several minutes, you helped Elliot get caught up on everything that had happened in the last three weeks, leaving out a few key things about changes in your life until the end.

"I, uhh--I broke up with Tony," you mumbled quickly.

Elliot's eyes widened and you swore his face lit up before he tried to hide it. "Oh? I'm sorry, (Y/N/N). I know you really liked him."

You shrugged. "He's a good man and he'll make a great husband for someone, just not me."

"So...why'd you break up with him?"

"He deserved to be with someone who loved him the way he loved me and I knew I'd never be able to."

"Why not?" Fuck subtlety, he thought to himself.

You laughed breathily. "Good lord you're full of questions."

"That's not an answer."

You shot him a look of annoyance, but he knew you weren't actually upset. You were clearly trying to decide how to answer his question...and how much information you really wanted to give him.

"You can't love more than one person at the same time. At least not fully."

He raised his eyebrows. "Who do you love?"

"Elliot," you groaned softly. "Why does it matter?"

"I want to know." I need to know.

You sighed heavily. "How long have we known each other?"

He was clearly confused by your question, but he answered it anyway. "Eight years?"

You nodded. "And you were married for most of it, right?"

"As far as I'm aware, yes," he said in boorish tone.

"Six years, Elliot. Six whole years of my life," you said softly.

"What do you mean?"

You bit your lip and stared at the blanket covering his chest, unable to look at his face as you answered his question. "That's how long I've loved you," you whispered.

He'd waited two very long years to hear you say those words, but he'd never actually imagined you would ever say them. He was so stunned by your admission that he found himself rendered mute.

The seconds ticked by and you started to feel incredibly foolish and embarrassed. "Please say something," you begged.

He realized he'd been silent for too long and he rushed to say the words that had lived in his heart for so long. "I don't really know when I fell in love with you, (Y/N), but I'll never forget the moment I realized I loved you, and I don't think I'll ever be able to stop loving you."

Your jaw nearly hit the floor as your eyes shot up to meet his. You'd never dreamed he'd feel the same...at least not until three weeks ago. Perhaps Olivia was right after all--perhaps you really were connected in a deeper way. "El..."

"You don't have to say anything," he whispered.

"I love you," you said simply.

His chest ached from more than just the gun shot wounds. "I love you too."

You let out an awkward chuckle. "So what do we do now?"

"Right now?" he asked. "Well right now, you're going to kiss me because I can't really move."

You laughed warmly before leaning in and placing a soft kiss to his warm lips. The moment your lips connected, it just felt right. Everything about him felt right.

"As much as I'd love to kiss you until one or both of us passes out from lack of oxygen, I think I might need those painkillers instead," he said softly, finally letting the pain creep into his voice.

You nearly smacked him. "How long have you been in this much pain?"

"Doesn't matter. This was more than worth it."

You glared at him, but the glare quickly softened to an affectionate expression of concern. "I'll get the nurse."

You returned moments later with the nurse in tow. She gave Elliot a shot of morphine to dull his pain. It didn't take long for him to drift back off to sleep.

You settled into a chair beside his bed, content to stay beside him for as long as the hospital staff would let you.

**********

Four days later, Elliot was finally released from the hospital. You insisted he come to your place because there was absolutely no way you were going to let him be alone yet. Much to your surprise, he didn't argue, if anything he seemed glad for your insistence.

"At least I don't have to give you a tour," you said with a smile as you held the door open for Elliot.

"I've only been here 100 times," he teased.

You closed the door behind him and watched as he moved slowly towards the couch. You knew he was still in pain, though he likely wouldn't admit it.

"Do you need anything?" you asked tentatively as he sunk down onto the couch with a muffled groan.

"Nah, I'm fine."

You knew better than to argue with him. "How 'bout we order Chinese for an early dinner? I don't really feel like cooking."

"God, yes. That sounds amazing."

"Hospital food that bad?" you teased.

"Worse."

You laughed and went to the kitchen to grab the number for your favorite take out place. You ordered enough food to feed a small army before settling onto the couch beside Elliot.

"Okay, so here's the options: we can watch TV, we can sit in silence and awkwardly stare at the wall, or we can talk."

"I vote for the awkward staring."

You laughed. "TV it is."

You turned the TV on, but nothing seemed particularly interesting. Eventually you settled on some mindless drama.

You pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it across your lap. "Do you need one?"

"I'm good."

A few quiet moments went by before Elliot cleared his throat. You looked over at him, but he didn't say anything. You turned back to face the TV, but he started shifting beside you, as if he was restless.

"El?"

"Hmm?"

"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"

He shook his head. "Not really. It's just--well it's just that you're kinda far away."

You raised an eyebrow as you regarded him. "I don't wanna hurt you."

"Well, I wanna hold you and I don't really give a damn if it hurts me."

You offered him a small smile. "I'll be gentle."

You moved closer to him and laid your head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close, wincing slightly as he shifted. Once you'd both gotten comfortable, your focus went back to the TV.

About 20 minutes later, the buzzer for the door went off and you jumped up to answer it. You let the delivery guy in the main doors and waited for him to reach your apartment.

"Do you always let the delivery guy in?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah."

"It's not safe, (Y/N)."

A knock at your door alerted you to the presence of your dinner. You opened the door, took the food, and paid before shutting the door behind him.

"I've never had any issues," you commented.

"We know plenty of people who have," Elliot said softly.

You glanced over at him and sighed. "El, I've been living alone for most of my adult life. I'm painfully aware of the dangers of being a single female in this city, and I'm always careful."

He nodded, but he didn't look like he really wanted to let it drop.

You walked back into the living room and started laying out the takeout boxes on the coffee table. "Dinner is served."

He inhaled deeply. "Damn that smells good."

"Thank you. I slaved away in the kitchen for hours to make it for you."

He laughed warmly. You saw the look of pain cross his face, the laughter clearly aggravating his wounds.

"At least take a couple Tylenol," you begged.

He sighed. "Will it make you feel better?"

"Yes."

"Fine. I'll take a couple."

The two of you had managed to eat a large portion of the food you'd ordered and you'd gotten Elliot to take some pain medication. All in all, you felt very successful.

The two of you were curled up on the couch watching a movie. Your head was in Elliot's lap, a blanket covering your body, and his arm draped across your torso.

At some point, his hand began to play with your hair and gently trace meaningless designs against your skin. The motion relaxed you and you sighed contentedly. Your eyes drifted closed and you knew you should get up go to bed, but you were simply too warm and comfortable to get up.

Next thing you knew, Elliot was gently shaking you awake. "Sweetheart? It's late. You should go to bed."

You let out a little groan. "But I'm so warm."

He chuckled. "You'll be nice and warm in your bed too. Come on," he coaxed.

You grumbled softly as you sat up. You dragged your weary body off the couch and started to walk back towards your bedroom. When you realized Elliot wasn't following you, you turned around. "Coming?"

"Oh, I--uh...I can sleep on the couch, ummm--if you want."

"We're adults, Elliot. We can share a bed."

"Thank god," he said as he slowly made his way towards you. "Your couch isn't comfortable to sleep on."

"Hey! You've never complained before."

"That's because sleeping in your bed was never an option before."

"I suppose you have a point."

He followed you into your room and chuckled softly as you crawled directly into bed, not even bothering to change into your pajamas. He walked to the other side of the bed and stood there for a moment, clearly unsure of what to do.

"You okay?" you asked.

"I, uhh, I normally wear a lot less clothing when I sleep."

"Oh," you mumbled with a blush. "Umm, you can get comfortable. I don't mind."

"I'll keep some stuff on for modesty," he teased lightly. "I just gotta lose the sweatpants or I'm gonna sweat to death in the middle of the night."

You laughed. "We wouldn't want that."

He quickly shed his pants before crawling into the bed beside you. "Shit," he said with a sigh. "You've been holding out on me."

"Huh?"

"This bed is 1,000 times more comfortable than the couch."

You laughed and very lightly smacked his arm. "You're the worst. You're lucky I let you share in this great comfort."

He grinned. "I feel very lucky. I'd even go so far as to say I feel honored."

You blushed. "Oh hush. Go to sleep, you dork. I'll see you in the morning."

You turned off the bedside lamp and settled back into the bed.

"Goodnight, (Y/N)."

"Goodnight, Elliot."

**********

For the next couple weeks, Elliot was on desk duty at work, which meant he had much more time to spend with you. On slow days, he would come sit in your office and chat with you for hours until someone (usually Cragen or Olivia) came looking for him.

Even though he was more than capable of living alone again, Elliot was still crashing at your house. You'd insisted at first, but it had become a comfortable routine that neither of you were quite ready to break.

The rest of the squad started to notice the change in your relationship too. Elliot was much more affectionate towards you, both physically and verbally. He'd use terms of endearment as often as possible and he was always within arms' reach of you.

The shift in dynamics really became obvious when you and Elliot continued to arrive together to work in the morning after the doctors had cleared him for duty.

"Okay, I'm tired of dancing around this shit," Fin spoke up when you and Elliot walked in the door together.

"Dancing around what?" Olivia asked.

"That," he responded, pointing at you two.

"What about us?" Elliot asked.

"Are you still living with (Y/N)?"

"Yeah," he answered with a shrug.

"So are you dating?" Fin probed.

Elliot shrugged off his jacket and plopped down in his desk chair. "Yeah."

Three surprised voices started peppering you with questions. "Since when?" "Why didn't you tell us?" "How long has this been going on?"

"Guys!" you yelled as you threw up your hands. You were surprised that Elliot had admitted to the relationship so freely. You hadn't discussed keeping it a secret or anything like that, but you also hadn't discussed if and when you were going to tell everyone. "Can you at least wait until I put my bag down before you verbally assault me?"

The questions and comments continued, but were now aimed at Elliot as you made a beeline to your office to drop off your bag and coat.

Before you could make it back to the squad room, there was a gentle knock on the doorframe. "Got a second?"

You turned around at the sound of Cragen's voice. "Sure," you answered as you leaned back against your desk. "What can I do for you?"

"Well, I may have overheard the commotion in the squad room when you and Elliot got in."

"Oh."

"Were you planning on telling me?"

"Honestly, sir, we hadn't discussed it. We didn't even really discuss our relationship...it just sort of happened."

"Near-death experiences will do that to you."

You nodded. "It was rather eye-opening for both of us, I think."

"Not as much for the rest of us."

"What do you mean?"

Cragen smiled. "It doesn't take a good detective to see how much the two of you care about each other, even long before Elliot got shot."

You blushed. "I tried not to be obvious."

"I make it a point to know my people, (Y/N), and I pay attention."

"I hope our relationship isn't going to be an issue, sir."

He shook his head. "I'm not worried about the two of you one bit. You've always been professional and I don't think admitting you love each other out loud will change that."

"I appreciate that, sir. I know Elliot will too."

Cragen just offered you a simple smile before making his way back towards the squad room. You followed slowly behind him, allowing yourself time to steel yourself for the onslaught of questions.

Much to your surprise, the conversation had shifted to other topics, namely Munch's permanent bachelor status and Olivia's terrible choices in men.

You leaned against Elliot's desk and he looked up to smile at you.

"I see they've moved on."

"I put them in their place," he said with a smirk.

"Do I wanna know what that means?"

"Probably not."

You laughed. "You're probably right."

Elliot's next thought was interrupted by the ringing of his phone. He answered it, listened for a few moments, then said "We'll be there in 15," before hanging up. "Liv, we've got a vic over at Bellevue."

She sighed and grabbed her coat. Elliot followed suit, but he paused to kiss you softly before following her out the door. "I'll see you later. Love you."

You smiled. "Love you too. Be safe."

"Always," he said with a wink.

You watched him walk out the door and you felt a pang in your chest. You'd always worried about him--about all of them--every time they went out on a call, but it felt different now. Knowing he loved you as much as you loved him made it so much harder to watch him leave knowing he might never come back.

Thankfully, he did come back, though he was not in a pleasant mood. He was snapping at every person who crossed his path and anyone who dared look at him sideways.

"It was the dad, Olivia," he was yelling when you came into the squad room. "I'm sure of it."

"Okay, Elliot, but we don't have any proof!" she yelled back.

"Hey," you cut in. "What's going on."

"Little girl is in the ICU because she'd been beaten pratically to death. The doctor said there was also evidence of prolonged sexual abuse," Elliot answered.

"That's terrible."

"Yeah, what's worse is the father did it," he said angrily.

"What proof do you have?" you asked.

"God, not you too."

"El, we can't just assume it's the father without some sort of evidence."

"My instincts and years of experience not enough for you?"

"It might be enough for me, but it's not enough for a court of law," you countered.

You could see the rage in his eyes and you knew exactly what he was thinking. You knew the statistics as well as anyone, so you knew it was likely that the child had been raped by a close family member. As a father himself, Elliot hated when a father was the cause of such trauma to a child. That hatred fulled his anger, which led to poor decision making.

"Why don't I talk to the father?" you suggested.

"I'm bringing him in tomorrow morning. I want first dibs," Elliot insisted.

"I think it's best if I talk to him first," you said gently, but firmly.

"Why?"

You sighed, not really wanting to answer him. "Because I'm not sure you can be objective, Elliot."

As you suspected, that only fueled his anger more. "Of course I can be objective! I'm objective! Why do you think--"

"You're angry," you said, cutting him off.

He paused. "Of course I'm angry!"

"I may not have children, but I understand where your anger is coming from, Elliot. The difference is you let your emotions guide you--you imagine yourself in that person's shoes and it fuels your rage." You sighed deeply. "For what it's worth, I trust your judgment. If you think he's guilty, I'm inclined to agree, but I want to talk to him first."

Your words seemed to calm him down. He hated seeing a child hurt, especially one that had been hurt repeatedly. He knew you were right--he was emotional and that tended to cloud his judgment. You, on the other hand, knew how to remain calm and rational, which tended to get you better results.

"You're right. You should interview him."

At that moment, Cragen stepped out of his office. "Emily Riley just passed away. The parents are on their way down to the station now."

"What happened?" Elliot asked.

"She threw a clot to her brain. It was likely caused by the beating she took."

"Why are the parents coming down here?" you asked.

"Mrs. Riley attacked Mr. Riley. She was screaming something about him doing this to Emily. Uniformed officers are bringing them down."

You turned to look at Elliot, who had a slightly surprised look on his face. "I think that means you were right, El."

"Maybe, just once, I'd like to be wrong."

When the Rileys arrived down at the station, Fin and Munch took Mrs. Riley to an interview room, while you took Mr. Riley to another room. Olivia joined you at your request, while Elliot and Cragen watched from the other side of the glass.

It didn't take you very long to get a full confession from Mr. Riley. He admitted to sexually assaulting his daughter for several years. It took a little longer for him to admit to beating her, but eventually he did. He told you and Olivia that he had to kill Emily because she threatened to tell her mother about what he'd done to her for years.

Once he admitted that, Elliot stormed into the room and yelled at him--screaming that he was a pervert and a monster. "You'll get the needle for this...and I'll be right there watching."

Elliot put handcuffs on him and took him to booking, with Olivia trailing behind. You met Cragen outside the interrogation room and he told you you'd done a good job.

"Honestly, I'd rather never have to do an interview like that again."

"But you're good at it, (Y/N)."

"Doesn't mean I like it."

"I don't think any of us really like it."

You offered him a sad smile before walking away, heading to your office to sit down and have a nice cry.

About 30 minutes later, Elliot found you in your office, eyes red from crying.

"Doll?" he asked. "You okay?"

You nodded. "I'm fine. I just...I hate doing those."

He came around the side of your desk and pulled you into him. "I know, baby. I don't like them either."

"That poor little girl. She never had a chance."

He squeezed you tighter. "At least he's going to prison for the rest of his life...thanks to you."

You looked up at him. "I can't take all the credit. Olivia was there too."

"You're the one who won him over. You got him to admit to everything he'd ever done to his daughter."

"At least this is done. I just wanna go home."

"Me too," he said as he stood up. "Get your coat and let's get out of here."

"I want a hot bath," you grumbled.

He chuckled lightly. "Hot bath, a glass of wine, and a good night's sleep next to your very handsome boyfriend, should do the trick."

You rolled your eyes as you threw on your jacket. "I'm taking you up on that."

"It's a guarantee," he said with a wink.

**********

It had been two months since Elliot had been shot. Two of the best months you'd had in a long time. Elliot felt the same. He loved spending time with you and just being around you made him feel so at peace. Just sitting next to you on the couch while you watched a movie made him happy. It was all the little moments that warmed his heart.

Tonight was special. It was the anniversary of the day Elliot realized he was in love with you. To you, it was an ordinary Tuesday, but to him, it was one of the most important days of his life.

He'd made dinner reservations for your favorite restaurant for that evening, but he wouldn't tell you anything else he was planning.

"Why tonight? What's the occasion?" you'd asked him that morning.

"Because I love you and I want to show you just how much," he'd answered.

You didn't believe there wasn't more to it, but you let the matter drop. By the time 5pm rolled around, you'd almost forgotten about your plans for that evening.

"Come on, babe, we gotta go," Elliot said as he popped his head into your office.

"Just let me finish this--"

"We've got reservations at 6:30, sweetheart."

You looked at your watch. "It's only 5:15."

"We have to get home and change first."

"Where are we going that I can't wear this?"

"It's a surprise! Now come on."

You laughed and gathered your belongings before following him out the door.

When you arrived home, you found that Elliot had already picked out exactly what both of you would be wearing that evening. He'd selected a beautiful dress for you and a well-tailored suit for himself.

Thirty minutes later, he was dragging you out the door, insisting he didn't want to be late.

When Elliot pulled up in front of the restaurant, your face lit up in surprise. "Elliot, you hate this place," you insisted.

He shrugged. "But it's your favorite."

"El..."

"Come on, beautiful." He hopped out of the car and quickly came around to your side to help you out. He dropped his keys in the valet's outstretched hand before guiding you to the door.

"You never do valet. You always say it's a waste of money," you whispered.

"Tonight is a special occasion," he countered. "Besides, you're worth it."

You blushed heavily as he held the door open for you and followed you inside. "Is that why you took me to one of the most expensive restaurants in Manhattan?" you murmured quietly.

"Mhmm," he hummed.

"Am I missing something here? What's the special occasion?"

Before he could respond, you were met by the maitre d'. "Good evening. Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes. Two for Stabler."

The man smiled at the two of you. "Right this way sir, ma'am."

You followed him to a nice secluded table in the far corner of the restaurant. It gave Elliot an excellent view of the entrance and it suited your preference for a quiet table.

A bottle of wine was immediately brought to your table and two cups poured. It was, of course, your favorite wine.

"Seriously, El...what's with all the fanciness?"

You chuckled. "Can't I treat my girl just because I want to?"

"You can, but I know you. You don't like fancy things."

"But you do."

"Sometimes," you conceited. "Especially when it comes to food."

He grinned. "You have very high expectations as it relates to food."

"You're not wrong."

A server seemed to appear out of nowhere to take your orders. You hadn't even begun to look at the menu, but you didn't need to. You knew exactly what you wanted. After the server left, you turned your attention back to Elliot.

"Are you going to tell me what's so special about today?"

He looked you in the eyes and for some reason, his expression made you feel emotional. "Two years ago today, I realized I was in love with you. This is the first time I've actually had the opportunity to celebrate that love."

Tears welled in your eyes and you gently fanned your face with your hand. "Come on, (Y/N), don't cry in public," you said lightly to yourself.

Elliot laughed warmly and reached across the table to take your hand. The man wasn't big into romantic gestures, but he'd made an effort for you and that meant everything to you.

"This is the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"You need to meet better people then," he said with a smile.

"It wouldn't have the same meaning coming from someone else."

It was his turn to blush. "You deserve to know how much you mean to me. I want to make sure you never forget it."

"I love you, Elliot," you said softly.

"Not as much as I love you."

The evening was extremely beautiful. Delicious food, incredible company...who could ask for a better night?

When you made it back home, you immediately slipped off your shoes and dropped onto the bed. "Who invented heels and can I kill them?" you grumbled.

Elliot laughed as he tugged off his tie. "I'm 80% certain murder is illegal. Besides, they make your ass look incredible."

You laughed. "You're not wrong, but only 80%?" You sat up and watched him as he continued to remove his shirt. Your eyes followed his hands as he unbuttoned his shirt--mouth watering slightly at the teasing bit of his form you could see.

Ordinarily you'd be embarrassed by how blatantly you were staring, but it had been a long time since you'd felt the touch of a man and your body suddenly lit up.

Elliot was still chattering on about something until he looked in your direction and fell silent. The look on your face was hungry--possessive even--and it sent a shock wave of desire through his body.

"Baby?" he asked tentatively.

"Come here," you responded, voice low and husky.

Even if he'd been blind and deaf, he still would have been able to feel the desire oozing from every pore in your body. It wrapped around him, enveloping every part of him, pulling him towards you.

He stopped at the edge of the bed, eyes slowly tracing over your body, waiting for you to give him permission to touch you.

"Help me up," you purred.

He grabbed your hands and pulled you to your feet. "Turn around," he said softly.

You did as he asked, exposing the zipper of your dress to him. You felt his fingers slide slowly up your spine before grasping the zipper and pulling it down at an agonizingly slow pace to just above the curve of your butt.

His lips brushed against the exposed skin of your shoulder as he began to remove your dress. He could feel your heart racing, the blood pumping through your arteries as he kissed your neck.

You gasped softly as his teeth grazed your pulse point, sending shivers through your body. His hands pushed your dress the rest of the way down, letting it pool at your feet.

You felt his hands caress you, sliding around your midsection and pulling you back against him. The way he touched you only made you want him more--the slow pace he'd set driving you crazy.

As if he sensed your need for more, his left hand began to slowly glide up your torso towards your breasts. He slid his hand across one breast and then the other, giving each one a gentle squeeze as he did so.

Your body was flush against his and you could feel his arousal pressing into your back. The lack of skin-to-skin contact was making you desperate. You needed to feel him--all of him.

You turned your head to look up at his face, but you were surprised by his heavy-lidded expression. You'd never seen him look like that and it did something to you.

Your lips parted slightly as you gazed at him and he found it impossible to resist. He leaned down to press his lips against yours, earning a soft sigh from you. You turned around so your chest was pressed against his, and your arms wound around his neck.

His shirt was already unbuttoned, so all you had to do was push it back off his shoulders and let him tug it the rest of the way off. You then let your hands wander under the hem of his undershirt, palms flattening against his taunt abs.

He knew what you wanted, so he pulled back just long enough to pull his shirt off over his head. He leaned back in to kiss you, but you pulled back slightly, hand pressed against his chest to keep him in place.

He would have been hurt by the motion if he'd missed the look on your face. Instead, he felt his chest swell with pride as you eyed him like he was the god, Adonis.

"See something you like?" he teased.

Your eyes flicked up to meet his. "I see a whole lot I like."

He grinned and pulled you back in for another searing kiss. You swore that every time he touched you, it was like your body was on fire--each touch increasing the intensity of the burning. But it wasn't painful...it was an incredible feeling and you wanted more.

Elliot's hands made their way to your back, and he deftly unclasped your bra with practiced hands. You let the bra slide down your arms, exposing your breasts to his hungry eyes.

He cupped them, lifting them to his mouth as he lowered his head to taste your skin. You let out a moan of pleasure as he nipped and sucked, paying each breast and each nipple its dues.

Your fingers began to claw at his belt, desperately trying to free him from the confines of his pants. Elliot chuckled softly at both your desperation and your frustration at not being able to undo his belt.

He pulled back and nodded his head towards the bed. "Lie down, baby."

You did as he asked, eyes never leaving him. He quickly undid his belt and unbuttoned his pants. He was slow to remove them, clearly enjoying the tortured expression on your face.

Your breathing was labored, despite the fact that you weren't doing a damn thing. You could feel your arousal pooling in your panties and you knew you were seconds away from completely losing it.

"How 'bout I just remove these too while I'm at it?" Elliot asked as he tugged his boxer shorts down his legs. When he stood up straight, you got your first view of his erection and you felt your pussy clench as a little gasp escaped your mouth.

He was thick and long--larger than you were used to, but not so big that it scared you. Your mouth watered slightly, the mere thought of feeling his weight on your tongue a massive turn on.

You quickly pulled yourself off the bed, cutting off Elliot's question before he could even speak as you dropped to your knees in front of him.

His eyes widened slightly as he gazed down at you. You looked up at him with a doe-eyed expression that nearly buckled his knees. He watched as you tentatively placed your hands on his thighs, eyes flicking up to his, checking to make sure it was okay.

He reached out and ran his fingers through your hair, letting you know he was comfortable. You licked your lips as your hands moved up his thighs, nails gently scratching the skin.

Elliot's breathing was already heavy and he knew he was going to have a hard time controlling his orgasm. It had been a long time for him too, after all.

You gripped his cock in your dominant hand, leaning towards him to take him into your mouth. You took as much of him as you could without gagging, eyes never leaving his face.

"Fuck," he whispered as he looked down at you.

The single curse word sounded like praise to you, so you ran with it. You wasted no time--you set a quick, intense pace, and he was loving it.

His fingers were tangled in your hair and a string of moans, heavy pants, and curses slipped from his mouth. He watched you as much as he could, but his head would roll back involuntarily as he reacted to the pleasure.

"You're doing so well, baby--feels amazing."

You moaned softly around his cock in response. The vibrations mixed with the warm, wet heaven of your mouth nearly made him cum. You felt the way his body tensed and knew he was close, so you sped up your movements, paying special attention to his sensitive head.

Elliot had been determined not to cum yet, but he was struggling to hold himself back. It just felt so damn good. "Baby, I--I'm close."

You were well aware and you wanted to taste him so badly--so you did the only logical thing...you looked up at him as you sucked, eyes filled with desire.

Within seconds, Elliot filled your throat with his cum--orgasm slamming into him like a freight train. As he started to come down from his high, he realized his grip on your hair was way too tight and he let go of you instantly.

"Sorry, baby. Did I hurt you?" he asked breathlessly.

You smiled up at him and licked your lips, making sure to get the last of his cum into your mouth. "Not at all, El. I loved every minute of it."

He relaxed and let out a relieved sigh. "Well so did I...you were phenomenal, (Y/N/N)."

He helped you up and pulled you against him so he could kiss you--not giving a damn that he could taste himself on your tongue.

"Can you lie down for me, baby? I'd like to repay the favor."

"You don't have to," you assured him as you settled onto the bed.

He looked at you in confusion. "You say it like it's some sort of chore."

You shrugged. "Not all men reciprocate."

"What kind of heathens have you been dating?"

You laughed. "Well...none of them were you."

"See, there's your problem," he teased.

He climbed onto the bed with you, hovering over your body, eyes scanning your face as if he was memorizing it.

"Have I told you how beautiful you are?" he murmured.

"Once or twice," you said, cheeks blushing slightly.

"Hmm," he hummed. "I've gotta tell you more often. No one compares."

Now your cheeks flushed a deep crimson. "Elliot..."

He suddenly sat up. "You know what, babe? I've got a much better idea." He flopped down onto his back. "Sit on my face."

"Say what?"

He turned his head to look at you. "Sit on my face," he said again.

"I...umm. That sounds dangerous."

He cocked an eyebrow. "It's not dangerous, it's sexy as hell."

You sat up and turned to face him. "Are you sure? I mean...couldn't I smother you?"

He laughed. "Absolutely not." His expression sobered suddenly. "Are you telling me no guy has ever asked you to sit on their face?"

You shook your head, embarrassment creeping into your face.

He sat back up and reached for you. "We don't have to do anything you don't want, but I promise you it's worth it--for both of us."

"Are you sure?" you asked again.

"I'm absolutely positive, babe."

He looked and sounded so confident--and to be honest, you'd always wanted to try it--so you nodded your agreement.

You quickly pulled your panties off before climbing on top of him. You straddled his chest--a slightly worried expression on your face.

"I promise you, you're not gonna hurt me," he reassured you. "Besides, I'm strong enough to throw you off me if I had to."

His tone was light and teasing, which made you feel better. Plus, you knew it was true--he really could throw you around if he wanted to.

You took a deep breath and moved your body so your pussy was directly over his face. You lowered yourself slightly, but you didn't actually sit on him.

He sighed in annoyance. "Did I ask you to hover over my face, baby?"

"No," you mumbled.

"What did I ask?"

"You asked me to sit."

"Mhmm...so sit."

You lowered yourself a little more, but you didn't put your full weight on him. You didn't think he would notice, but you were completely wrong.

He wrapped his arms around your thighs and tugged you down so you were completely flush against him. He made the happiest noise you'd ever heard before diving into the delicious feast above him.

You nearly jumped off of him as he began to eat you out--the sensations so intense, it startled you. But holy fucking shit did it feel incredible.

The sounds coming from your mouth were loud enough to wake your neighbors. You grasped the headboard for support as you moaned and begged and chanted his name like a prayer.

All-the-while, Elliot was expertly attacking your pussy, sending wave after wave of unimaginable pleasure through your body. He groaned into you as he feasted, your cries of pleasure spurring him on.

He felt your nails rake against his scalp and your thighs began to shake. He tightened his grip on you as he continued his ministrations.

"Elliot--fuck," you gasped. "I'm so close."

"I know," he said into your pussy, knowing full well you couldn't hear him. He sped up his assault on your clit and seconds later your orgasm washed over you--screams of his name echoing in the small room.

He continued lapping up the mess you'd made, arms still wound tightly around your legs, keeping you against his mouth.

You started to squirm, but he didn't let go. "El--sensitive."

After a couple more licks, he finally released you and you practically fell off of him and onto the bed. Your legs shivered as aftershocks worked their way through your body.

Elliot was happily licking his lips as he watched you, expression smug. You looked almost delirious with pleasure and it brought him great pride.

"That...was...incredible," you said between breaths.

He grinned as he sat up. "I'm glad you enjoyed it as much as I did." He wiped the rest of your slick from his face with a satisfied smirk.

You looked over at him and laughed breathlessly. He just looked so pleased with himself that you couldn't help but find it funny.

"Kiss me," you pleaded softly.

He was never one to deny you, so he pulled himself up and climbed onto your body, hovering over you once again. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips against yours, earning a contented sigh from your lips.

You cupped the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you as you deepened the kiss. He shifted slightly to get more comfortable and you could feel his arousal press against your thigh. You smiled against his lips, appreciating that he was willing and able to keep going.

Elliot felt your lips curve into a smile and he pulled away so he could look at you. "Something funny, doll?"

You shook your head. "Nothing's funny. I'm just...pleased."

He chuckled and kissed your neck. "Pleased, eh?" He pressed another kiss against your skin. "About what?"

"You," you said breathlessly--his kisses quite clearly having the desired effect on you.

He smiled as he nipped at your collar bone. "I'll take the compliment."

You lifted your hips, brushing against his cock in search of friction. He hissed softly, the feeling too much and not enough at the same time.

Elliot grabbed your hips and pulled you towards him so he could settle more comfortably between your legs. He went back to kissing you, his hands gently skimming over your skin, his cock pressed against your entrance.

You ran your fingers through his short hair and whined softly.

"What's wrong, baby?"

"Need you."

"I'm right here." His teasing tone annoyed you slightly--he knew exactly what you wanted.

"Elliot," you whined.

He grinned. "Come on pretty girl, just tell me what you want and I'll give it to you."

"I want you."

He nipped at your jaw. "Come on...you can do better than that."

You whined again, squirming beneath him, in dire need of his touch. "I wanna feel you inside of me, Elliot--please," you begged.

He growled softly, hearing you beg for him like that made him almost feral.

To your surprise, he started to pull away from you. "El?"

"Need a damn condom."

"I'm on birth control," you said quickly.

"You sure, babe? We know this little swimmers are potent."

You laughed. "I'm sure. Come here."

He lowered himself back on top of you and lined his cock up with your entrance. His eyes locked onto yours, searching for any sign of discomfort. Seeing none, he started to push into you slowly.

The stretch was both delicious and painful at the same time. Your nails dug into his shoulders and you winced slightly when he was about halfway in.

"Shit, am I hurting you?" His worried tone matched his facial expression.

"I'm fine," you assured him. "You're just...big."

He grinned wolfishly, pride pumping through his veins. He kept pushing forward until he completely bottomed out inside you, a deep groan escaping from his lips.

He gave you a few moments to adjust before he began to move. His speed was slow and languid, and his eyes never left yours. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable and enjoying yourself as much as possible.

"More," you gasped out softly.

He sped up his movements, earning a series of moans from you. He shifted his body to get a better angle and you cried out in pleasure, nails scratching into his skin.

He knew better than to slow down or shift any farther. With each thrust, he brought you closer and closer to the edge--and the convulsing of your tight pussy mixed with the sounds coming from your mouth, pushed him towards the edge too.

"Please, please, please" you chanted.

"I've got you," he murmured.

Your nails dug even deeper into his skin, drawing blood as they raked down his back. You cried out in pleasure--a sound that closely resembled his name--as your orgasm hit you.

Elliot barely held on long enough to get in another thrust before he was filling you up with his seed, whispering your name like a prayer in your ear.

As the two of you came down from your highs, Elliot slowly pulled out of you. You shivered at the loss of contact and you could feel his cum leaking from your hole.

"I'll be right back, baby," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You could hear him in the distance, but you were a little delirious from all the pleasure he'd just given you. When he came back, he scooped you up into his arms and carried you towards the bathroom.

You let out a little yelp when he lifted you--you were unaccustomed to being carried anywhere. "What--?"

"Hot bath?"

You smiled up at him. He didn't really strike you as an aftercare kind of man, but you could tell he really cared. He wanted to take care of you.

You nodded and he very gently lowered you down into the tub, which was still filling with hot water.

"Temperature okay?"

"It's perfect," you said with a sigh as you leaned back. "Join me."

"In a minute, babe."

He left the room and came back a few moments later with a lighter and a couple candles. He quickly lit them and turned off the light, so the room was bathed in a soft glow. It was surprisingly romantic.

You leaned forward so he could slide into the tub behind you. As soon as he was comfortable, he grabbed you and pulled you back against him. He kissed the top of your head and you sighed happily.

"I love you," he whispered into your hair. "So damn much."

"I love you too, Elliot."

The two of you stayed in the bath until the water began to cool. Elliot helped you dry off and slip on your nightgown before guiding you back to the bed.

He pulled on a pair of boxers and slid beneath the covers beside you. He reached out and put his arm around you, pulling you to him so your back was flush to his chest.

"Sleep well, my love," he whispered.

You were already drifting off to sleep as he uttered those sweet words. He didn't need a reply--he knew exactly how you felt by the way you curled into him, a soft sigh escaping your lips.

#elliot stabler x reader #elliot stabler #elliot stabler x reader smut #detective stabler #law and order svu #law and order svu smut #detective stabler smut #elliot stabler smut

[daddydoddsjr]

If the Law and Order people wanted to impress someone on a date, what would they go for?

Pairings || Law and Order SVU characters x GN!Reader

Contents/Warnings || First date fluff, mentions of alcohol, mentions of anxiety sorta

Authors Note || sorry that asks are coming out slowly, i’ve been hyperfixating on a different fandom :’)

Rafael Barba

Flowers on the first date kinda man

Would take you somewhere expensive

Probably a quiet, fancy restaurant where the two of you could have nice conversations in a calm environment

Refuses to let you pay, not even half

If it’s going well, he’d maybe want to walk around the city afterwards so your conversations can continue

He definitely planned all of this to try to be impressive

Sonny Carisi

Instead of a restaurant, he’d want to cook for you

His cooking skills are impressive enough

But he also impresses you just by being himself— an attentive listener and a perfect gentleman

Doesn’t mean he’s not freaking out on the inside, though

You can tell

Probably would google how to impress someone on a first date tbh

Olivia Benson

Hybrid bookstore/coffee shop date

Isn’t really worried about “impressing” you, so she just acts as she normally would

Would want to pay for your coffee though

And unintentionally impresses you by the amount of books she’s read and the conversations she makes

But who wouldn’t be impressed by her in general anyways?

Amanda Rollins

Paint and sip class !!

She’s confident and isn’t very nervous

The sip part of the class definitely helps calm any nerves that arise

Thinks the paint and sip is fun for a first date

And hopes maybe it’s just a little impressive

Fin Tutuola

Wouldn’t be great at planning the date himself

Either Olivia helps or you’re the one planning the date

He’s also definitely more nervous than he says he is

Despite this, he impresses you with how funny he is

Also offers to pick you up to go wherever you decide

And pay for anything, or at least split costs if you try to decline his offer

Joe Velasco

Dinner date at his favourite restaurant

Really, really hopes you like the food as much as he does

Possibly a nightcap afterwards so you’ll have more time to talk and continue the date

He tries a little too hard to impress you by trying to show off his knowledge on any subject you bring up

But you can tell he’s anxious

But the fact that he’s trying so hard is cute

Elliot Stabler

Central park date

Walking around a bit, sitting and talking on a bench, getting drinks and food from any food carts that are around

Tries to impress you by paying for anything you want and being attentive

He’s a little awkward

And protective despite it being the first date

#law and order svu #l&o: svu #raul esparza #rafael barba #svu #olivia benson #mariska hargitay #sonny carisi #elliot stabler #peter scanavino #first dates #fin tutuola x reader #fin tutuola #rafael barba x reader #sonny carisi x reader #olivia benson x reader #joe velasco x reader #joe velasco #amanda rollins #amanda rollins x reader #elliot stabler x reader

[svu-bracket]

playoffs (round 2)

descriptions under the cut

elizabeth ashley -> appears in one episode, payback, as olivia's mother. her character dies in the season two episode, taken. many more mentions of her/she and olivia's relationship throughout the rest of the series. y'all know her.

isabel gillies -> appears in 32 episodes across 12 seasons as elliot's wife. her character dies in the season 22 episode, return of the prodigal son. her ghost did appear in the third season of organized crime. again, y'all know her.

#svu #svu bracket #svu polls #best guest star #playoffs #playoffs round 2 #elizabeth ashely #isabel gillies

[wouldpollyapprove]

Preference: Getting Into An Accident

Summary: How characters from Law & Order: SVU would react if you got into an accident.

Characters: Amanda Rollins, Sonny Carisi, Elliot Stabler, Nick Amaro, Olivia Benson, Fin Tutuola, Rafael Barba

Warnings: mention of an accident

A/n: It’s been ages since I’ve written a preference. They are one of those things that I have a love/hate relationship with. I love them, I really do, but there comes a point when I’m halfway through them that I get bored and don’t want to do it anymore. But I did enjoy this b/c I love these characters and I came up with this idea on my own, so obviously I want to write this.

Masterlist

Amanda Rollins:

Amanda was in shock when she found out about your accident. Once she got off the phone, she quickly grabbed her coat and headed to the hospital. She was by your side as much as she could be. She wasn’t sure what to do, but she’d bring you food and watch movies with you. She’d suggest all the movies her mom would put on for her when she was sick as a kid. When you’d get out of the hospital, she would come stay with you for a few days to help you out. She wouldn’t be allowed in your kitchen, the woman can’t cook, so you’d both eat a lot of take out or she’d get Sonny to come by and make dinner.

Sonny Carisi:

He would be so worried. Sonny would stay by your side as much as he could and when he couldn’t he’d be pacing the waiting room or praying in the hospital chapel. When he’d be with you, he’d try to raise your spirits as much as possible. He’d bring you sweets and he’d even have his mother make you one of the soups she always made for him when ever he’d be hurt or sick. When you’d be discharged, he would help you around your house, cleaning, cooking, doing whatever you needed. He would also be a mother hen and refuse to let you doing anything that might irritate your stitches.

Elliot Stabler:

He would be super stressed out once he learned you had gotten into an accident. He definitely wouldn’t leave the nurses alone if you were in surgry, just trying to find out what was going on, if you were going to okay, anything at all. He would never leave your bedside, sleeping in the chair next to you no matter how many how many people told him to go home and sleep. Olivia would eventually bring him a change of clothes. When you’d be discharged, he would insist that you stay at his place and recover there. There was no use putting up a fight, so you’d do it. Elliot would wait on you hand and foot, bringing you food, books, drinks, anything you wanted. You’d tease him for it, but you loved how caring he was.

Nick Amaro: 

Nick would be much like Elliot expect his mother would also be there. His main thing would be that he wouldn’t want you to be left alone, especially if you were really hurt. If he couldn’t be there he would make sure his mom was. He would also give you more freedom than Elliot. He would make sure you didn’t over do it and that you got plenty of rest, but as soon as you’d tell him to back off or let you do something, he would. He would hate it the whole time, but he knew better than to argue with you. He’d just stand back, giving you a soft glare, but worrying the whole time.

Olivia Benson:

Olivia wouldn’t know what to do. Whether she admits it or not, she likes having control over thing and not knowing what’s going on while the doctors are taking care of you would drive her crazy. She would be so loving, though, once she was able to see you. She’d make sure you’re all comfortable and if you were cold, she’d bring you a blanket. She would definitely bring food and drinks that you liked and anything else you’d want from you house. When you’d be able to go home, she’d help you as much as she could. She’d clean for you and cook or out take out, whatever you preferred. She would also encourage you to follow your doctor’s orders and would take you to follow up appointments if you had any.

Fin Tutuola:

Fin wouldn’t be the best at caring for you, but he would be so worried when no one was telling him anything. If he is anything, it’s steady, constant. He would always be there, day and night. He wouldn’t know what to say, but he would bring you anything you asked for and watch the doctors with hawk eyes. When you’d get to go home, he’d insist on driving you and helping you with whatever you’d need. But you but a stop to that once he offered to cook for you because you knew better than to let him in your kitchen.

Rafael Barba: 

While he would act calm once he’d gotten the call that you were in the hospital, he would beat himself up over the fact that you were alone and that he wasn’t there for you. He would race to the hospital to be by your side and listen carefully to whatever the doctors told the two of you. But as soon as you’d be on your way home, he would tell you what his mother or grandmother would do in that situation. He’d be a walking medicine book of all these traditional “cures” that he’d suggest you try. And if you didn’t believe him, he’d tell you about all the times they worked for him and, if you still didn’t believe him, he’d have you talk to his mom.

*~~*~~*

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#law and order svu #law and order svu imagine #olivia benson #olivia benson x reader #amanda rollins #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #sonny carisi #sonny carisi x reader #elliot stabler #elliot stabler x reader #nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #fin tutuola #fin tutuola x reader

[svuobsessed]

THINGS YOU CAN REQUEST

Headcannons

Child reader

Teen reader

Son/Daughter reader

Fluff

Angst

Gender neutral reader

Autistic reader

ADHD reader

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Trans teen

Abuse

Blood and gore

THINGS YOU CANT REQUEST

No character x reader

No Romantic oneshots

Age regression (im not comfortable writing this)

I don't write rape (mentions of it yes but nothing to graphic)

Sa (not in detail)

DID / BPD or any other mental illness because I don't want to get anything wrong and write the wrong thing

Sexual abuse

Might add more if I can think of any.

CHARACTERS YOU CAN REQUEST!

These are the only characters I know so far(started in season 6 because there are the only seasons currently on netflix)

Elliot Stabler

Olivia Benson

John Munch

Casey Novak

Odafin Tutuola

Donald Cragten

George Huang

#law and order svu #svu #elliot stabler #olivia benson #george huang #john munch #odafin tutuola #casey novak #oneshot #fluff #angst

[atlafan]

Violet Chemistry - Part One

In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous...the dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit. These are their stories.

a/n: I’m posting part one here, and the rest will be on my patreon. A few disclaimers: I am not promoting copaganda. I have simply re-watched 22 seasons of Law and Order: SVU and I wanted to write my own thing based off of the main characters Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson. If you’ve never watched SVU some of this is going to be very confusing, but I tried my best to explain things so you wouldn’t necessarily need the SVU background. Harry is basically Elliot, and Ronnie is basically Olivia. I am not an expert on the criminal justice system or special victims, I simply used the information from the show to create this story. So much of this fic is probably inaccurate.

Warnings: THERE WILL BE MANY TRIGGERS IN THIS STORY! The words rape, homicide, pedophilia, murder, etc are used throughout this fic. If these things deeply upset you or trigger you, please do not read this story. Mentions of cheating, domestic violence, and other upsetting content is also intertwined throughout this story. Again, if these are things you don’t like, then please don’t read it.

Words: 6.6K

Main Characters: Detective Harry Styles, Detective Cameron (Ronnie) Walsh

Tumblr Masterlist I Ask I Patreon Masterlist

“RONNIE!!”

It all happened so fast. Harry did the one thing he shouldn’t have: he ran to help his partner instead of chasing after the perp.

“SOMEONE CALL A BUS, NOW!” He screamed to the vice squad behind him while he added pressure to where Ronnie was bleeding out.

The EMT’s got to her as soon as they could, and when they told Harry he couldn’t ride with them to the hospital due to the severity of the wounds, but he went ballistic and they backed off, letting him into the back of the ambulance. The only people he listened to were the nurses at the hospital that told him he couldn’t go into the operating room. That’s when his captain caught up with him.

“I’m not leaving the hospital. Not until I know she’s alive and breathing.”

“Harry-“

“I don’t want to hear it, Cap.”

“Harry.” The captain yanked him aside and made him look at him. “You haven’t even asked about what happened to Jones. Did you forget what you’re on the payroll for?”

“Of course not.” He has tears rolling down his cheeks, but he’s so angry he doesn’t even realize. “I know I fucked up, but I saw Ronnie go down, and-“

“The chief is going to want you two separated after this.”

“I figured.” Harry looks away from him.

“I’m going to have the doc talk with both of you. You both need a psychological evaluation. Then a decision will be made.”

“Your decision or the chief’s?”

“Mine. He trusts my judgement. But I need to make sure I can trust both of yours.”

“Fine.”

“You still haven’t asked about Jones.”

“Respectfully, Cap, right now I don’t give a fuck about that piece of shit. Reynolds and Miller were there too, and since they’re not here worrying over Ronnie the way that I am, I’m assuming they caught Jones, or they’re down at the DA’s office waiting for arraignment.”

“They did catch him.” The captain nods.

“And the other underage girls? We only got a few of them out.”

“Found in one of his broken-down trailers, alive. Miller’s contacted their parents, they’re on their way here now. We had them sent right here so they could be checked over.”

“Obviously.”

“Don’t give me attitude, Harry. I’m giving you a very small, brief pass since Walsh is your partner, but that doesn’t mean you’re not on thin ice.”

“Heard, Cap.”

“Excuse me, Detective Styles?” A nurse taps him on the shoulder. “You’re listed as Cameron Walsh’s emergency contact, so I’m allowed to give you the particulars of her surgery. Who is this?” She nods towards the captain.

“Our captain, he can listen. She’d want him to.”

“Okay. Four bullets were removed from the body. Two were in her chest, one in her left shoulder, and one was lodged in between her ribs. The doctors were able to get them all out, but she’s in a medically induced coma.”

“What, why?” Harry’s eyes widen with panic.

“She started seizing from the blood loss. The doctors felt it was necessary.”

“So, when will she wake up?”

“When her body lets her. They’re still getting her stitched up and bandaged. They’ll be taking her to a private room shortly. Once she’s set up, I’ll come get you.”

“Alright, thank you.” The nurse walks away, and Harry takes out his phone.

“Are you texting Mark?”

“No.” Harry scoffs. “I’m messaging Reynolds and Miller that Ronnie’s alive.”

“Don’t you think you should contact Mark?”

“I don’t want him here, so no.”

“That’s not up to you. He’s her boyfr-“

“I know what he is.” Harry snaps. “I’m her emergency contact, not him. Get a clue, Cap.”

“That’s strike two, Detective. Check yourself.”

A little while later, Harry rushes to the room that’s been set up for Ronnie. He stops short of the doorway. It’s scary seeing her hooked up to all the machines. He steps in slowly, sitting on the edge of the bed. He takes her hand in his and gives it a gentle squeeze. She has a few scrapes on her face, but nothing serious. He looks at how messy her hair is, and it makes him laugh softly.

“You’d hate the way you look right now.” He stands up and pulls an elastic off his wrist. He props her head up just enough so he can pull her hair back into a French braid. “Remember when you first taught me how to do this? Katie was about three, and Kathleen was on vacation with her girlfriends so I was on double parent duty. I was father of the year for being able to braid Katie’s hair the way Kathleen usually did.” He sighs and ties the end of her hair with the elastic and sets her head back down. He pulls a chair up so he can sit by her. “Don’t worry, Ron, I’m not going anywhere. I’m not leaving you.”

**

Five Years Earlier

“Styles, I’d like you to meet your new partner, Detective Cameron Walsh.” Captain Sellers smiles as the other detectives crowd around to say hello.

“I go by Ronnie, hi.” She smiles as she shakes Harry’s hand.

“Nice to meet you. You’re joining us from homicide, yeah?”

“Mhm. I’ve always wanted to work in SVU, so I jumped at the chance when the position opened up.”

“You wanted to add rape and kiddie porn to your murder, huh?” Harry smirks and Ronnie grins at him.

The two clicked instantly. Harry took Ronnie out for a drink that night so they could get to know each other better, and so he could give her some tricks of the trade.

“I’ve been in special victims for four years now. It never gets easier. There’ll be cases you take extremely personally, but you have to try not to. I still do it sometimes, it’s tough not to picture these things happening to your own family and friends. In homicide, all your victims are dead, right? Well, in special victims, more often than not, they’re alive. It’s hard when you have to make someone relive a rape, or having to listen to a child talk about how someone they trusted took advantage of them.”

“You’re saying things I already know. I’ve been trained on all this. I’ve dealt with families and friends of victims. A lot of it is the same. Compassion and relating is important and more effective than accusing the perp.”

“Exactly. You might find yourself having to pretend to agree with a pedophile. It’s the worst, but-“

“It’s worth it if we can get an admission.”

“Yup.” Harry takes a sip of his beer. “Alright, so, what made you want to join special victims? You said you always wanted to work in this unit.”

“I…this is something I didn’t even tell my last partner, but…I feel like we’re really forming a bond here, so…I’m the…product of a rape.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry.” He leans in so he can listen to her better.

“I’m lucky in that my mother didn’t treat me like scum. I know it was hard for her sometimes, but for the most part we had a good relationship.”

“Had?”

“She died last year. Sclerosis of the liver. She coped by drinking.” Harry goes to open his mouth, but she stops him. “Don’t say you’re sorry again, it’s alright.”

“Do you know who your father is?”

“No. When I was younger I wanted to know because I hated that I came from someone that could do something so heinous to someone else, but recently…I don’t know, it doesn’t bother me anymore that I don’t know who he is. I just hope he didn’t ruin anyone else’s life.” She takes a sip of her own drink. “What about you? Why are you in SVU?”

“I sort of just fell into it. I’m tough enough to handle the perps. I’m good with kids. I actually just had one of my own. Well, my wife had her, but you get what I mean.” He takes out his phone to show Ronnie his lock screen. “That’s my wife, Kathleen, and our baby girl, Katie.”

“Oh wow. How old is your baby?”

“She’s six months.” He smiles fondly down at the picture. “Kathleen was my high school sweetheart. We broke up when I served. I was a navy seal. When I came home we got back together and got married. Best decision I ever made. I love being a family man. My household was so fucked up when I was a kid. I like knowing I’m providing a positive environment for my daughter.”

“That’s amazing. How do you make time for them? This job can feel never ending sometimes.”

“You have to build in those boundaries. Obviously we have to keep working until the job is done, but when the captain tells you to go home, just go home. You can’t do your job right if you’re exhausted.”

“True.” She nods.

“Try to do as I say and not as I do. Cap and I butt heads on the regular. I have a temper. Most of the time I can keep it together, but sometimes I lose it. It depends on how much the perp is pissing me off.” He looks her up and down. “Anything else I should know about you?”

“You mean other than the fact that my mother was a rape victim? No, I don’t have any other skeletons.” She smirks, and it makes him laugh.

“I’m glad you can joke about those things.”

“It helps make the job more bearable at times.”

“Sure does.”

The two went on to work very well together. Ronnie got to meet Harry’s wife and baby. Kathleen would often come see Harry for lunch if it was a paperwork heavy day.

After a year on the job together, the two got close. Ronnie was having trouble in her personal life. That is, her love life was nonexistent. One afternoon, when they were sitting in the car as they staked out a perp, Ronnie asked Harry for some advice.

“Can I ask you something personal?” She says.

“Depends on what the subject is.” He says as he continues looking out the window.

“Sex.”

“I’m listening.”

“I can’t get aroused.” She tells him bluntly, causing his head to snap in her direction. “Any time I even think of dating, I talk myself out of it. It’s like…it’s like my mind goes to the worst possible place. I think every man is going to try to take advantage of me, or that they’re playing me, buttering me up. Did you ever have trouble when you first started in special victims?”

“Oh, yeah. I couldn’t get it up for like three months.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Kathleen was ready to kill me. I mean, I’ve got a mouth and hands, but it got to a point where when I’d get between her legs I’d get flashes of the gruesome shit I’d seen.”

“How did you move past it?”

“Talking to Kathleen, and time. When was your last date?”

“I don’t know, a year.”

“You haven’t had sex in a year?”

“I guess not.” She shrugs.

“And you haven’t taken care of things yourself?”

“I told you, I can’t get aroused. I can’t even watch porn anymore because I keep thinking all the girls are underage and are being forced into it.”

“So, nothing gets you even a little wet anymore?”

“Harry.” She sucks her teeth and shoves his shoulder.

“I’m not going to tell anyone, I never tell anyone what we talk about. Partner confidentiality.”

“I’m as dry as a bone.”

“You need to, I don’t know, do something for yourself. Like, light some candles, take a bubble bath, use a new vibrator, or something. Kathleen has this one toy that-“

“I don’t need to know about the toys you and your wife use.”

“You know, Miller is single, and I know for a fact he thinks you’re cute.”

“I know he does, but I don’t shit where I eat.”

“Not even for one night?”

“Nope.”

“I can ask Kathleen if she has any single friends, we could go on a double date.”

“I’m all set.”

“Do you have a problem with my wife all of a sudden?”

“What, no. I just don’t think we should necessarily combine those areas of our lives. You’re always saying it’s important not to bring work home with you. Getting too familiar with your family would be a bit much.”

“Just say you don’t want to hang out with me, I’m a big boy.” He rolls his eyes.

“You’re annoying.” She shoves his shoulder again, making him chuckle.

“In all seriousness, it just takes time. Don’t force yourself. When you feel like giving it a try with someone, you’ll know. You’ll feel that familiar zip of electricity go through you. You’ll be drenching your panties again like you never stopped.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Harry.” She laughs so hard she snorts.

Harry always found a way to make Ronnie laugh.

But things weren’t always so funny. By the time Harry’s daughter was two and a half, Kathleen kicked him out of the house. She was sick of him not putting the family first, and he was sick of her not understanding that with his type of job he can’t always do that. He had been pissy at work for a while, and when he finally snapped at Ronnie while they were working a case, she snapped back when they returned to the squad room.

“Don’t ever talk to me like that again.” She says to him. “I don’t need you making me look bad in front of the perps.”

“Then do your job correctly.” He crosses his arms over his chest.

“I was. Whatever your problem’s been lately, get the fuck over it. I’m your partner, don’t treat me like it’s my first day on the job.”

“Kathleen and I separated.”

“What?” Her features soften.

“Kathleen and I separated last month. Not legally, but I’m living in my old apartment that I had been subletting.”

“What happened?”

“I wasn’t being a good enough father and husband, according to her. So, now I get to see my daughter even less.”

“You should ask Cap for some time off. You and Kat have been together forever, you’ll get past this.”

“I don’t know, something’s different this time.” He runs a hand through his hair. “She thinks I prefer spending time here…with you.”

“Oh please.” Ronnie groans. “That’s so cliché. She knows nothing’s going on between us. I’d never break up a family.”

“So if I wasn’t married with a kid you’d be okay with breaking us up?” He smirks, and she shoves his shoulder. “Sorry, I shouldn’t be joking right now. She thinks I have better communication skills with you than with her. But that’s only because any time I’d tell her about what was going on at work she’d stop me halfway through because she didn’t want all the details. Eventually I just stopped talking about work at all. Turns out, we just don’t have anything left to talk about.”

“That can’t be true.” Ronnie frowns.

“I think it is. I just want to do right by Katie, she’s my top priority. That’s the one thing Kathleen and I are agreeing on right now.”

“I hope you know you don’t have to keep something like this from me. I’m not a blabber mouth.”

“I know, it’s just embarrassing. I fucked up, and I didn’t do anything to stop it.”

“This is a tough job, and it’s even tougher to have a family to go home to. I can’t imagine the stress that causes.”

“Every little kid we come across, all I can think about is what if something like that happened to Katie. I won’t be able to protect her forever, and it kills me.”

“Did you explain that to Kathleen?”

“Of course I did! We went to therapy for weeks, but I didn’t say all the things she wanted to hear. She’s done.”

“Let me take you to dinner later. We can hit up the Chinese place, have some drinks, and…just turn our brains off for a while.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Would you rather go home to an empty apartment?”

“No.” He smiles softly. “Alright, Chinese and drinks after work. Thanks, Ron.”

“No thanks necessary.”

Ronnie wanted to jump for joy, which made her feel terrible. She has nothing against Kathleen, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t have feelings for Harry. She knows it’s dumb to fall for your partner, but they spend so much time together. He knows her in a way that no one else does. She loves him. She’s in love with him. She’s not going to press her luck, but maybe after some time without Kathleen, Harry will realize that if he and Ronnie do things right, they could be together. It’s not totally uncommon for detectives to get together, and it’s certainly not against the rules. She catches him looking at her sometimes, she knows this isn’t completely one sided.

**

Harry got shot. It’s not the first time, and it won’t be the last. But this time around, he realized what was really important to him: his wife and his daughter. After he got out of the hospital, he went home. He just wanted to see Katie. He got to tuck her in and read her a story, and when he was done with that, Kathleen asked him to stay. He wasn’t going to say no to that.

**

Ronnie can’t read Harry. Which is strange because she can always read him. He’s been antsy lately. He’s constantly checking his phone, his mood goes from hot to cold in seconds.

“Hey, can we talk?” She asks him, and they both go into the bunk room for some privacy.

“What’s up?”

“That’s what I was going to ask you. You’ve been weird lately.”

Harry sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair. “I wasn’t going to say anything for at least another month, but Kathleen’s pregnant.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“My wife is pregnant.”

“Who’s the father?”

“Um, me.” He says, completely offended.

“How could you be the father? You’re not even living together.”

“That’s the thing, we’ve been working on reconciling.”

“Since when?”

“Since I got shot a few months ago. I went over to see her, and I asked if I could come home. We’ve been going out on dates, doing things as a family again. It’s reignited our spark.”

“So, you got shot, then went and fucked Kathleen?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you guys gonna do?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I just…do you think it’s a good idea to bring another kid into your situation? How long could these good times last? We both grew up in fucked up households, you know how bad it is. Why would you want to put another kid through that?”

“I can’t believe you’re even suggesting Kathleen have an abortion. She doesn’t want that.”

“How do you know? Did you ask her? How does she feel about it?”

“We’ve always wanted more than one kid, of course she’s fine with it. She’s really excited to be pregnant again.”

“Are you two at least back in therapy? I mean, have things changed? Are you being a better husband and father this time around? Or do you only care now because she’s pregnant?”

“Don’t interrogate me, Ronnie.”

“I’m not trying to! But you’re not thinking rationally about this, Harry. Do you really want to make things work with Kathleen after these last seven months?”

“See, this is why I didn’t talk to you about this.” He shakes his head.

“What does that mean?”

“It means, you wouldn’t understand the trials and tribulations of marriage. For fuck sake, Ron, I’m the longest relationship you’ve ever had with a man!” Her mouth falls open at that. “Whatsamatter, baby, you can dish it but you can’t take it?”

“You’re an asshole.”

“Oh, you’ve wounded me.” He puts his hand over his heart, mocking her.

“How could you even say something like that to me?”

“It’s the truth. You can’t make any relationship work. I’m the only guy in your life you trust. Maybe you should go to therapy.”

“You know what, from now on, let’s just keep our personal lives private. I won’t ask you about yours, and you won’t ask me about mine.”

“Works for me, partner.”

Ronnie makes an exasperated noise, and huffs out the door. She nearly runs over Kathleen.

“Kat, hi!”

“Hi.” Kathleen smiles softly. “Were you just in there with Harry? Alone?”

“Yeah, we needed to have a private discussion. He told me the good news, congrats.”

“You look thrilled for us.” Kathleen rolls her eyes.

“Look, I’m not saying it’s not a blessing, but I just think-“

“Walsh.” Harry’s low voice bites through the air. “Don’t you have some paperwork you need to get done?”

“Don’t you know you can’t tell me what to do? We’re the same rank, you prick.” She walks away from the two of them. She needs to clear her head.

**

After taking a month off for paternity leave to help Kathleen with their new baby boy, Harry returns to work. It’s hard leaving his three favorite people, but he knows he needs to get back to SVU. This time around, he’s going to set limits where he can. He’ll take a break to go home for dinner, then come back to work if he needs to. He’s not going to screw this up a second time.

Harry checks in with his captain first thing, then catches up with Reynolds and Miller. He looks around for Ronnie, but she’s not there. He figures she must be out on assignment. But much to his surprise, she comes walking into the squad room with a cup of coffee in one hand, and a man by her side. She’s giggling and has rosy cheeks. The man walks her over to her desk. She sits up on top of it, and he leans down to speak in her ear, making her smile. She nods and kisses his cheek before he leaves. Harry approaches her with a smug look on his face.

“I leave for a month and you already have a new man in your life?” He jokes, and she hops off her desk to hug him.

“Welcome back, Styles.” She gives him one more squeeze before letting him go. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Ron.”

“I’m sorry I never came to the hospital, or to the house…I didn’t want you to think of work while you were away.”

“That’s alright, I’ve got tons of pictures to show you.”

“What’s his name?”

“Eddie.” He smiles fondly. “Edward, actually, but we’re calling him Eddie.”

“I like that.” She smiles.

“So…” He sets his jacket down and loosens his tie a little. “Who’s the guy?”

“He’s our new ADA.”

“What happened to Timmins?”

“She got offered a better salary with homicide.” Ronnie shrugs. “His name is Mark Hayes. We butted heads at the beginning, but we ended up going out for drinks one night and one thing led to another.”

“What happened to not shitting where you eat?” Harry smirks at her.

“I’m not, he’s at a completely different table. It’s not like we see each other all the time. He has other cases he’s working, you know?”

“Isn’t it a conflict of interest for you to see our ADA?”

“We disclosed things with, Cap. We figured all that out. It hasn’t affected either of us at work.” Her cheeks start to redden, and Harry’s eyes widen.

“And after work?”

“I’m sorry, Detective, but I’m afraid that’s diving a bit too deeply into my personal life.”

“Ah.” He nods. “That bad, huh?”

“What?” She laughs.

“If he was any good at fucking you, you’d tell me about it.” He leans his bum against the desk, standing closer to her. “What’s wrong, he can’t make you come?”

“The opposite, actually.” She turns, getting right in his face. “It’s the best I’ve ever had. In fact,” she looks around to make sure no one else is listening, “I’ve recently found out that I can squirt.” She watches as Harry’s eyes visibly darken, his pupils turning into saucers. His jaw clenches and he stands up straight. “Welcome back, partner.”

**

Flash forward two years later. Harry’s divorced, but still occasionally fucks Kathleen when he’s desperate and just wants something familiar. It’s hard not to get riled up with emotions when he’s over spending time with his kids. Ronnie’s been seeing Mark the entire time. He’s asked her to move in a dozen times at this point, but she always comes up with an excuse as to why she can’t.

Harry and Ronnie are currently sitting in Cap’s office. They think they’re in trouble. For what, they’re not sure, but it’s usually not good when they both get called in for a chat.

“I have an important assignment for the two of you. It’s going to involve being undercover for a bit.” Cap explains.

“Alright, what’s going on?” Harry asks.

“We’ve had a string of strippers getting murdered. They all work at the same club. Narcotics tipped me off. They’ve been working the case because the perp running the entire operation is the one giving the command on which girls are getting tossed. It happens infrequently enough that it hasn’t raised a ton of eyebrows.”

“Is that why we’re just hearing about this now?” Ronnie asks.

“Homicide was taking care of the murders. We’ve only recently found out that the girls that aren’t being tossed in the trash, are being prostituted out and raped. There’s an open position at the club. Ronnie, I need you to go undercover as a dancer. Start off as a bottle girl, but I need you to get into that dressing room and get whatever information you can. Harry, I need you to be her handler.”

“So I have to take my clothes off, and he gets to be my pimp?” Ronnie scoffs.

“I know it’s not the most appealing thing for you, but you’re the only female detective we have that could actually pass as an erotic dancer.”

“Gee thanks.” She rolls her eyes. “I’ll do it, but I’m keeping whatever lingerie I have to buy.”

“Deal.” Cap looks at Harry next. “What do you say?”

“I’ll do it. I don’t trust anyone else to work this with Ronnie. I think Miller’s head would explode if he saw her dressed provocatively.”

“Stop it.” She shakes her head. “When do we start?”

“Immediately.” He hands them each a folder. “That has the information on where you’ll be staying, your new ID’s-“

“We have to stay in the same apartment together?” Ronnie asks.

“Once Harry gets in good with these people, they may come around to check for bugs and wires. It has to look like you both live together.”

“Captain, respectfully, Harry is a slob. I can’t live with him in a…oh my god, this is for a fucking studio?”

“That’s what they gave me funding for, Walsh. I’m sorry it’s not ideal.” Cap says facetiously.

“Is there at least a couch for him to sleep on?”

“Why do I have to sleep on the couch?” Harry scoffs.

“Because you’re not going to be the one sliding up and down a greasy pole every night.”

“Fair.”

“Enough. Go take some time to get familiar with your new identities, and go shop for whatever you may need to make it look convincing. You’ll be staying at your new apartment tonight. Have fun, and try not to kill each other.” He looks at them. “Or…anything else.”

They both roll their eyes at that, and leave the office. Ronnie takes out her phone and calls Mark to let him know what’s going on. He’s up in the squad room ten minutes later.

“How long will you be gone for?” He asks her by her locker.

“I don’t know, it could be weeks…months.”

“Months?”

“These things either happen fast, or they’re really slow. You know that.” She closes her locker and looks up at him. “I’m sorry, I know this isn’t the best thing happening right now. But at least we’re not living together, you won’t miss me too much.”

“Don’t use this as an excuse.” He sighs. “Are you at least being given a burner phone so we can still have contact?”

“Yes, but I have to use it carefully. If our place gets bugged or something, it could mean game over. I feel bad for Harry. He barely sees his kids as it is. This is going to be really tough for him.”

“Yeah, Romeo.” Harry says as he opens his own locker. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of our girl.”

“Can you give us a minute, Styles? We’re talking.”

“Mmm, no.” He grins and leans back against the lockers. “No, I think I’ll continue eavesdropping. Kathleen’s bringing the kids by so I can see them before we go, so I’ve got time.”

“Harry.” Ronnie looks up at him with her big brown eyes, and he all but melts.

“Fine, I’ll leave you alone. Oh, when we go to the store to get all your stripper accessories, should we get you some sex toys?”

“Christ, Harry.” She shoves him away, making him laugh.

“Does he always have to be so crude with you?” Mark asks her. “This is the sex crimes division for fuck sake.”

“We do it to each other, it’s just how we work. If we don’t find reasons to laugh, we’d cry.”

“So, we can’t even go be alone for a bit?” He steps closer to her, making her blush.

“I want to…” She looks over her shoulder at the bunk room, then back to her boyfriend. “I should really start briefing myself on this case. I want to check the homicide detective’s notes, see what we’re really dealing with. I’m sorry, Mark. I know…I know this is what makes our relationship difficult.”

“It’s alright, I understand.” He leans in and kisses her, then pecks her forehead. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

While Ronnie is on the computer looking over everything, Harry is talking with Kathleen and the kids. Ronnie can’t believe Katie’s already five, and that Eddie’s already two.

“How long will you be gone for, Daddy?” Katie asks him. She’s got her arms around his neck, her bottom being supported by his hip while Eddie is on his other hip. Ronnie looks away before she has time to fantasize about how strong her partner is.

“Well, Daddy’s not sure. I’m going on a top secret mission, so Daddy won’t be able to see you for a while, but I’ll do my best to call when I can.”

“What about on FaceTime?” Katie looks up at him, pouting.

“We won’t be able to do that, sweetie, I’m sorry.”

“But…but I’m gonna miss you.” Her bottom lip starts to quiver. Harry looks at Kathleen. She takes Eddie from him so he can properly hug his daughter, biting back tears of his own.

“I’m going to miss you too, so much. You have no idea.”

“Why…why do you like being with Ronnie more than Mommy?”

“Katie.” Kathleen says. “Now’s not the time for that.”

“Sweetheart, it’s not that I…Ronnie and I work together, that’s all. She’s going on the secret mission with me. We keep each other safe. And while I’m gone, Mommy will keep you and Eddie safe, alright?”

“Will you miss Mommy too?”

Harry and Kathleen look at each other, and her face flushes from the coy smirk forming on Harry’s face. “Of course I will. I’ll miss you, Eddie, and Mommy very much. I’ll check in when I can, okay? I need you to be a brave, big girl and help Mommy a little more. Can you do that for me?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s my girl.” He hugs her and gives her a kiss before setting her down. He takes Eddie back and tosses him into the air, making him laugh. “Alright, little man. Need you to be a big boy.” Harry takes Eddie’s thumb out of his mouth.

“Okay.” Eddie says with his precious, soft spoken toddler voice.

“I love you.”

“Wove you too, Daddy.”

Harry smiles at his boy and sets him down. He tells Katie he loves her as well, then looks at Kathleen.

“I know you don’t need me to tell you this, but be careful.” She says to him.

“I like it when you tell me to be careful. It helps having your voice in my head.”

“Come back in one piece.” Her voice cracks as she throws her arms around his neck. He holds her close.

“Don’t cry, it’s going to be alright. I’ve gone undercover before.” He coos into her hair.

“Not like this.” She pulls back from him and pecks his lips before fully letting go. “Check in when you can, like you said.”

“I will. I love you, you know that, right?”

“Yes, and I love you too.” She picks up Eddie and sighs. She and Ronnie make eye contact, but neither of them say anything to the other. There’s nothing to say.

**

Harry walks around the store while Ronnie picks out clothes to buy. It’s all miniskirts and tight dresses. Then she goes to the lingerie section, and he joins her.

“Would you ever wear any of this stuff for real?” He asks her as he picks up a pair of crotchless panties. “It can’t be comfortable.”

“It’s not. This is stuff you put on when you tell a guy you’re going to slip into something more comfortable.”

“But you just said it’s not comfortable.”

“It’s not, but it’s also not going to stay on for very long.” She grabs a few bras and throws them in her cart. “I have to buy makeup too.”

“Don’t you already own makeup?”

“Yes, but I mostly wear neutral colors, nothing too heavy. I need to get some pallets with more vibrant colors. I need to get fake lashes. Oh! I’m going to need some highlighter.”

“Jesus, this is going to be never ending. I hope Katie’s a tomboy so she doesn’t have to deal with all this.”

“How’s that working out so far?”

“Not great, she’s all about princesses and Barbies right now. It’s actually pretty cute, and she has a wild imagination. I always have fun when we play with her dolls.”

“You play Barbie with her?” Ronnie pouts up at him endearingly.

“Course I do.” He shrugs. “It’s important to spend time doing the things your kid likes to do, rather than dragging them out to do something you want to do. As she gets older, she won’t feel like it’s a chore to hang out with me because she’ll know I’m up for whatever she wants to do. Within reason. I don’t want her thinking I’m going to take her to get a tattoo before she’s eighteen.”

“You’re a really good dad.”

“Thanks. I hope she and Eddie feel the same way.”

“They do, they have to. You’re doing the best you can.”

“Right. Let’s keep shopping. I’m ready to get the fuck out of here.”

The two get all the things they need, and head to their new home for the seeable future. It’s a nice place, but it’s going to be hard for them both to stay in such a small space.

“So, who’s taking the bed for real?” He asks her later that night over takeout.

“I have a proposition.”

“I’m not sleeping foot to face.”

“That’s not what I was going to suggest. I was thinking we could just stick some pillows between us so we can both sleep on the bed.”

“Do we need a barrier at all? I’m not going to try to fuck you while you’re sleeping.”

“Well, obviously, or I’d say you’re in the wrong line of work.” She smirks. “I just want us both to be comfortable.”

“I won’t sleep if I feel like I need to be rigid.”

“Okay, so no pillows.”

“We’re both adults who have shared beds with people before. I think it’ll be fine.”

“What do you usually wear to bed?” She asks him.

“Boxers. What about you?”

“Oversized t-shirt.”

“Well, if anyone busts the door down we’ll at least look the part of a couple.” He takes another bite of food, then sets his container down. “You and Mark have a quickie earlier?”

“No.” She laughs. “We almost did, but I wanted to start briefing myself. I felt bad, but isn’t this more important?”

“You need to find that answer on your own. I’m clearly not the expert.”

“I think you just married someone that bit off more than they could chew. You’ve been in this line of work since you two were married. She knew how hard it was going to be.”

“It wasn’t like this when I was in vice. I had standard shifts, the same schedule for months on end. That worked for us. I don’t blame her…so you shouldn’t either.”

“Sorry.” She swallows down a noodle.

“Why won’t you move in with Mark? An attorney like him should have a great place, definitely one big enough for two people.”

“It’s big enough for more than two people, that’s the problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…he’s been dropping hints about wanting to really settle down together. He wants to have kids with me. I love him, I really do, but I don’t know if I’m the type of person that can handle all those things.”

“You’re great with kids.”

“I know that, but I’d never be around. I’d be working all the time. I’m just not ready for it.”

“Have you told him that?”

“Yes.” She sighs. “But neither of us necessarily wants to break up, so we have a fight once every few weeks, and then we move on.”

“Maybe the time apart will help you both gain perspective on what you really want from each other.”

“That’s sort of what I’m hoping for.” She takes a sip of water, then sighs. “So, what’s our backstory?”

“I’m your pimp.” He smirks.

“You’re my handler, not my pimp.”

“It’s the same thing.”

“No it’s not. A pimp pimps their girls out to have sex with other people. Handlers don’t do that.”

“It’s the same thing, but whatever.” He rolls his eyes. “How should we approach that, by the way?”

“Approach what?”

“You having sex. I don’t want you to get forced into something.”

“I’m supposed to start off as a bottle girl, then work my way up. So I should be fine. Once you get in good with the bosses, you can just tell them they can look, but they can’t touch. I’ll stay focused on getting information from the other girls, you stay focused on gaining the trust of the bosses.”

“Arthur Jones is the guy we’re looking to bring down. He’s the head of the entire operation.”

“We should go there in the late afternoon tomorrow when it’s not busy and see about me getting a job. Do you know which detectives from narcotics are already undercover there?”

“Yeah, Cap texted me who to look for. It’s another guy.”

“Okay, so none of the girls are under cover. Damn, it’s gonna take me some time to become friends with them.”

“Apparently, we have all the time in the world.”

The two clean up from dinner, then take turns washing up before bed. It’s a little awkward when they both slip under the covers, but they’re both able to fall asleep easily.

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles x oc #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #detective!harry #svu!harry #smut #harry styles smut #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #fluff #angst #violet chemistry #au #alternate universe #fic #fanfic #harry styles y/n

[poetrybyhai]

Right outside your door

Olivia Benson x Elliot Stabler one shot

Set in season 7 after “fault”

__________________________________

Elliot wanted to go talk to her, he needed to. But everyone had told him if he didn't give her some space, things between them would only get worse.

So for the first time in the seven years he had known her, Elliot was hesitant to go knock her door.

How could things between them possibly get any worse though? She was completely ignoring his existence.

He was spiraling, everyone around him knew it.

And Dammit those nightmares, he had been having the same reoccurring nightmares since the day he found out she left, nightmares about losing her entirely, not just from his life but from the the entire world.

They were based around what almost happened a few weeks ago.

What he couldn't bare to even think about.

And the more time passed without seeing her, the more vividly they played out and the more real they began to feel.

It was terrifying.

And so embarrassing, he's stronger than this. Elliot Stabler doesn't wake up panicking from nightmares. My gosh, that didn't even happen when he had PTSD from the military.

It didn't happen after any traumatizing case, and there were so many of them he had lost count.

What was this woman doing to him?

                                     ~~~

Flashes of Olivia's lifeless body on the cold floor, played out in his mind. her eyes rolling in the back of her head, blood gushing everywhere, her face turning white, his hand feeling for a pulse that was gone.

Flashes of his partner bleeding out in front of him.

Each time he had that same nightmare, he always woke up right before he blurted out the three words, he only ever allowed his mind to say in that split second he thought he was losing her.

"Olivia, don't go I.."

                                          ~~~

It was now a quarter after midnight and Elliot yet again, was swimming in a pool of his own sweat, gasping for air.

Crying out her name.

"Dad"

No response.

"Dad"

"No response."

"DAD!" The voice echoed much louder than before, julting him awake.

"Ahh, what!? He gasped nearly falling off the bed.

"Dad, you're scaring me, what the hell was that about?" Kathleen questioned, her voice laced with confusion.

"Kathleen?" His eyes wandered around the room trying to make out his surroundings. "What are you doing here?"

She raised her brow at him, "Do you not remember?"

"You picked me up from Trevor's house because, his dad was making me uncomfortable, I had to beg you not to kill him.. we went to denny's afterwards?" she went on, trying to jog his memory.

This was weird, it had only been a few hours and he didn't remember how she got there?

Elliot stared off into space, trying to remember the events his daughter just described to him, but his body was still in fight or flight mode and his mind was foggy.

Finally, after an unusually long minute, things came back to him, and he could see the relief on Kathleen's face when he bellowed a loud "ohh." As he slowly came back to reality.

"You scared me dad, I thought you might have dementia or something."

He laughed lightly "No honey, not yet at least."

"Are you okay though?" she asked, that same expression returning to her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine honey." He tried to assure her, even though he knew she probably heard him screaming.

"Are you sur."

"Sweetheart, I said I'm fine."

His daughter wasn't convinced, she made her way to the side of his bed and pressed her hand to his forehead, "dad, you're covered in sweat that must've been quite the intense nightmare, do you have PTSD from what happened with Olivia?."

He visibly stiffened at the mention of her name, the nightmare still fresh, and his mind not exactly fully awake yet.

"What would make you think that?" He replied, hoping she wouldn't pry any further, his kids didn't need to be involved in this, he didn't want them to suspect anything strange when he didn't even know what was going on himself.

"Because you were screaming her name." she said, squinting her eyes at him in puzzlement.

"Was I? That's weird."

Kathleen crossed her arms and gave him a challenged look "Dad, come on, you might be a good liar at work but you'll always be a horrible one in your person life.. especially when you're talking to me."

"Honey, it's not something you need to worry about, I don't even  know why I would say that."

"Your ears are red."

"What?"

"Your ears are red." She repeated, "your ears get red when you're lying."

"Kathleen, why don't you go to bed? don't you have school tomorrow."

"You should go talk to her." she blurted out, ignoring his last statement.

"Kathleen.." he warned.

But she didn't budge.

"Dad."

"Kathleen, seriously!"

"I'm serious dad! You should go talk to her, do you think I'm stupid? I know, I've known for years."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You heard me dad, I wasn't born yesterday, even if to you, it seems like I was, I'm a woman now, I've been one for a while, and we know things."

"Whatever you think you know, you can't know because, I don't even know." He babled in response, although what he said was true, he didn't know.

Or maybe he did know, but denial is a strong thing.

"I'm not saying you have to pour your heart out to her, but at least go apologize."

"I did! I left her a voicemail, I called her 30 times!" Now he was getting angry, he had to remind himself this was his daughter, and now was not the time to lose his temper.

"She'd rather hear you say it to her face, otherwise she's going to think you're just telling her what she wants to hear so she'll come to you."

Elliot looked at her with the up most puzzled expression before he replied, How would you know that? she's not a family member, you don't even know her."

"You're wrong dad, she's been like family to us for a long time."

And those words right there caused tears to well up in his eyes, his kids considered her family.

It was a weird dynamic.

But not one he was willing to just let go of.

She couldn't just never talk to him again.

Cus' as much as she thought of him as a stubborn son or a bitch, she was one too.

Kathleen was right he had to go to her.

"When did you get so mature?" he smiled at his daughter sadly.

She smiled back before evolving him as a hug.

"I wasn't born yesterday."

"Lovely." She mumbled to herself sarcastically before emerging out of bed and making her way to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face.

Suddenly she didn't feel the slightest bit tired anymore.

So instead of going back to bed when she saw the clock read 1:30AM she decided to go in the living room and watch tv.

Ugh, why did he have such a hold on her? It's like she couldn't escape him no matter what she did, not in her wake, not in her sleep. He was always on her mind, no matter how much she fought to get him out of it, he was still there.

And she wondered how long she could go on like this for. Ignoring him, declining his calls, revolving her life around trying to forget about him until the anger subsided enough that she could talk to him again, even though things would never be the same after this, and she couldn't expect them to be.

She didn't think it would be this hard, she knew it would be different, she knew it would hurt but not this much, nothing was the same anymore, nothing had been the same since Gitano.

It's not like she thought leaving was going to fix anything, but she didn't feel like she had any other choice.

There was no way to fix this.

Before Gitano, Olivia truly believed that nothing could break them apart, because it wasn't an easy job, they had their fair share of screaming contests when they disagreed on something, she slammed doors in his face more times than she'd like to admit, there were many ups and downs in their partnership, many times she swore she hated him and was sure he hated her back.

But when they went crashing down, they always came back to each other, every single time.

Until now.

She didn't know how to accept that Gitano, that case, very well might've ruined them for good, and there would be no coming back around this time.

She couldn't lose him, but she couldn't face him either.

Olivia was starting to realize, that though she was able to run, she wasn't able to hide.

But she couldn't face what she was feeling and she wasn't even sure she knew how to.

Trying to block out her thoughts Olivia began flipping through the channels, settling on a repeat of the bachelor, one of her favorite comfort shows. Though, nothing seemed to bring her much comfort these days.

And then came a knock on her door.

At first she thought it was the tv.

But then it happened again.

A knock she could recognize anywhere.

"Not now, my gosh, not now." she mumbled to herself.

By the 10th knock Elliot was growing impatient, he wasn't going to let her continue to ignore him, not when he drove over here, in the middle of the night, not when this had been the longest week of his life.

"Olivia! Olivia! I know you're in there!" He bellowed.

She didn't answer.

"Olivia, I can feel you thinking, you can't avoid me forever."

"Dammit Elliot, it's 2am." she uttered.

"Just let me in."

"No."

"Let me in!" He repeated.

" I said no!"

"Olivia for the love of god, what are we are five years old now? Just open the damn door."

And she was silent again.

"Olivia! Let me in."

Really? Now he chose to do this.

It was never going to be a good time.

Olivia made her way to the door but she still refused to open it, now standing beside the door, her forehead pressed against the wall, her hand dangerously close to the knob.

No, she wasn't doing this right now.

"Go home Elliot."

"Olivia, I swear to god if you don't open this door I'm going to bust in down."

He couldn't be serious.

"Try me and i'll sue you for breaking and entering."

"I have a key." He reminded her.

"You still have a key!"

"Just let me in."

"It’s not a good time."

"It's never going to be a good time Liv, but I need to freaking talk to you!"

He was just about to reach for the spare key when he heard her unlock the hinge.

"You got five minutes." She told him as she finally opened the door, blocking the entrance with her body.

God, she was beautiful and he couldn't help but stare, despite the fact that he was low key beginning to hate her for the games she was playing.

"Well hello to you too, aren't you going to let me in."

Olivia only crossed her arms in response, "Whatever it is, you can say from where you are."

He looked at her with a mixture of disbelief and anger before mocking her actions and crossing his arms as well. You've got to be kidding me Liv."

"I'm serious El, spit it out."

"Why are you acting like this?!"

"What are you talking about."

"I'm not playing along with your petty junior high games Olivia, I came here to talk to you now let me in." He demanded, catching her off guard when he pushed past her, making his way to her couch.

"What do you think you're doing?."

"I said we needed to talk." He stated, as if it was a demand.

"And I said it wasn't a good time."

"And I said it's never going to be a good time."

My god, he had a way of making her lose every ounce of patience she had in her.

"Then why are you here?!

"I said we needed to talk."

And for a good minute, they just stared at each other, neither willing to back down, neither willing to give in.

She saw everything in his eyes as they continued their stare off, the hurt, the betrayal, the regret, the sadness, the pain.

How dare he come here and try to make her feel bad? how dare he come here and look at her like that, like she ruined him.

~~~

Olivia was the first to break the silence, "Dammit Elliot what is the matter with you?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Oh really? Last time I checked I didn't show up at your place at 2am, banging on the door and yelling like I'm on fire." She shot back.

"No, you just quit and completely cut me out of your life without even so much as a text message." he quipped.

"I didn't cut you out of my life Elliot."

"Then why haven't I heard from you in an entire fucking week!" He yelled, emerging from the couch and beginning to pace the living room, Elliot had every intention of coming over to apologize, not to start a fight, but her stubbornness was too much and his anger was now overpowering the guilt he had been feeling.

Olivia stayed in place, not wanting to fight with him again, trying to calm herself before she lost it, he knew her every button and just now to push them. "I needed space! Did you really think I was going to ignore you forever? Really says a lot about how well you know me."

He laughed bitterly in response "You have no idea what you have put me through."

That was it.

Suddenly, it didn't matter if they fought she didn't care, she was enraged and she wasn't going to let him talk to her like that, not again.

Not this time.

Not when he barged into her house at 2am, like a fucking F5 tornado.

"What I've put you through!?" She screamed, not even realizing she was now yelling in his face.

He didn't back down and they were now so close they could feel each other's hot breath on their necks. "Yeah, you heard me."

She felt dizzy.

"I knew that voicemail was a lie! you're not sorry, you're not even capable of feeling sorry, you fucking ego maniac!"

She was right but it didn't stop the rage in him from intensifying.

"I was sorry Olivia! don't you dare tell me I lied to you! I was fucking sorry but that was before I found out you quit, before I found out that you had no intention of ever talking to me again! Now, now you don't deserve for me to be sorry, cus' you had to go and make sure you hurt me that much more!"

"So that's what you think this is?!" Tears were now welling in her eyes, his words cutting her deeper than that knife ever did. That I'm just trying to hurt you more than you've hurt me? as if this is some kind of sick content?"

"It sure as hell seems like it!"

Olivia said nothing in response, she only went to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine, desperately needing an excuse to get away from him.

She felt like all the air had left the room.

And so did he.

But he wasn't going to run.

She wanted to run but this was her house.

She has nowhere to go.

"So that's what you wanted? To just cut me off and never talk to me again!" Now Elliot was the one with tears welling up in his eyes.

"I already told you, I needed space, I can't breathe when I'm around you anymore you fucking suffocate me!" she spat.

"And you think that I can breathe around you? You think that you don't suffocate me?" He shot back, his own tears threatening to fall.

"You have had no problem treating me like your personal fucking punching bag for the past month, you don't get to make this about you!"

"You're such a gosh damn child olivia!"

"Really? How many times have I saved your ass because you couldn't control yourself?"

"That's not the point!"

"You are too much Elliot! How can you expect me to look past you blaming me for your own choice? How can you expect me to be able to be around you anymore? All I see when I look at you, is resentment, resentment at me, for something you chose to do! And you know what? You're the damn child, because, I wouldve never, ever crossed that line!"

"Olivia don't you fucking get it? that's not why I'm angry!"

"Oh please." She scoffed.

"It's not! I'm not angry that I chose you, that was never why I was angry, my gosh that's not why I'm fucking standing here screaming at you in the middle of the night! That's not why I've been losing my mind ever since Gitano!"

"What the fuck is the reason then Elliot, tell me! tell me the fucking reason?!" She yelled, getting in his face again.

"Olivia you're out of your fucking mind if you really think I would've done anything differently if I could go back, do you really think I wouldn't do the same damn thing! do you really think I wouldn't still choose you if we found ourselves in the same situation tomorrow?"

She looked at him with a mixture of shock and something else he couldn't quite make out. "What the hell are you saying!"

"I'm not angry that I chose you! I'm angry that I don't regret choosing you! I'm angry that I'd choose you again without a single fucking ounce of hesitation!"

Olivia was taken aback by his words, by his confession. her heart beating so fast she swore he probably heard it echoing through the room.

"You don't think I feel the same fucking way Elliot?" She spat back, daring to to get even closer to him than she already was, he wasn't going to win this fight, not this time. "You're the idiot! For thinking that I could shoot you, that I could end your life, that I could live with myself if you died because of me! How could you be so stupid?!"

"That’s not the point Olivia, that’s not what this is about!" He yelled back.

"Then what is it about Elliot? What is it that you want from me?!”

"I want you to be honest!"

"Are you serious right now? I have been honest!"

"Bull shit Olivia! You weren't honest you ran away! But you know what? Maybe you're right, maybe this whole thing is my fault, cus' I should've known you would, it's what you do best anyway!"

He was in front of her, moving closer as if they weren't already unbearable closer because she was now grabbing the kitchen countertop for support as he cornered her against it.

They'd never fought like this before.

She said she couldn't take the way he had been looking at her, but the way he was looking at her now, was so much worse.

“fuck you Elliot! Get out!"

His eyes were laced with so much anger, so much pain and regret, but suddenly there was something different in his gaze, something that wasn't there before.

Desire.

"No."

did he really tell her no?

"Elliot, get out! she repeated lunging forward and attempting to push him away.

"What are you going to do if I don't?" He challenged, pushing her back against the counter top.

And his next move was something she never could've expected, not even in her wildest dreams.

Suddenly, the world went silent as he crashed his lips into hers.

#bensler #elliot stabler #law and order svu #olivia benson #svu #svu fanfiction #fanfiction #angst #tension #my ships #i will go down with this ship

[rahleeyah]

You expect me to believe Elliot Stabler has two sisters and a rich brother who lives in Florida and somehow the son who avoided her for years and was on a whole ass other continent for years and just lost his wife and works all hours at a dangerous demanding ass job that put her in danger during the Wheatley arc is the one who is taking care of their mother? Bro pls lmao

Like that's the thing about finally addressing the siblings is like thank God they are but also none of this makes sense. Joe Jr is like. That actor is like what 40? He was probably born around the same time as Maureen. He and Elliot didn't grow up in the same house! They weren't kids together!! He was still at home and in school when 1.0 started! Elliot left a kid brother alone with his parents and no mention of it!

I know that's not the kinda shit they can fix and none of this is stuff they're worried about but like. Come on.

#s.vu

[unusedandfinished]

links to relevant mentioned media beneath the cut

pink static on tumblr (note that it is VERY MUCH 18+), charly bliss "DQ" official music video, the slowest slowburn in tv history: a vidEO recap of olivia benson + elliot stabler, Pip Dream Instagram reel

#zine #photoshop #digital art #artists on tumblr #female artists #graphic design #digital collage #pink static #public library #charly bliss #law and order svu #olivia benson #elliot stabler #bensler #pip dream #poor things #bella baxter #made by unusedandfinished

[fatecantstopme]

That’s Not What I See

Pairing: Elliot Stabler x Plus Size!Reader

Summary: You're a crime analyst on the Manhattan SVU squad. You've been attracted to Elliot Stabler since you first met him, but you knew there was no way he'd be into you. Men who looked like him never were...at least that's what you thought.

Warnings: Use of pet names. Cursing. Mentions of self-esteem issues. SMUT, praise kink, oral (F receiving), multiple orgasm, unprotected sex (P in V)

You walked into the office gym at 5am, thinking there wouldn't be anyone else there. You hated working out, especially in front of other people. Normally, you used the gym in your apartment building, but it was under construction, so you decided to sneak into the office early.

You'd thrown on leggings and a slightly too small t-shirt, and you were tugging on the shirt uncomfortably as you walked into the gym. You just wanted to get on the treadmill for an hour, but your plans were interrupted when you heard soft grunts coming from across the room.

You froze, hoping whoever it was wouldn't notice you. You moved towards the treadmill quietly, using it as a shield so you could see who was in the room without them seeing you.

From your angle, all you could see was a man's legs on the weight bench across the room. He was laying down and preparing for another rep. When his arms came into view, you let out an involuntary gasp. The Marine Corps tattoo on his right arm was a dead giveaway...it was Elliot Stabler.

He racked the weight bar and sat up, eyes looking in your direction. You knew he couldn't see you, but he must have heard your gasp. Shit, you thought to yourself.

"Hello?" he called.

You decided it would be weird if you didn't respond, so you stepped out from behind the treadmill and gave him a little awkward wave. "Good morning."

He smiled warmly when you came into view. "Morning, (Y/N)."

You could feel his eyes on you, boring holes into your skin, and you tugged on your shirt again. You suddenly wished you'd worn something a little looser, but you hadn't expected to see anyone, least of all him.

"Since when do you come to the gym before dawn?" he asked as he stood up and started walking towards you.

"I--uh--I...normally I don't--umm, I use the gym at home. It's being renovated."

"I see." He stopped right in front of you, giving you an up close and personal view of his beautiful body. Every inch of him was toned, muscles flexing under his skin. "I kinda like having the company."

You let out an awkward chuckle. "I was just gonna...umm--use the treadmill?"

He smiled again and your heart nearly stopped in your chest. "Go for it, doll. You don't need my permission."

You grabbed onto the arm of the treadmill to keep you upright--the term of endearment making your knees buckle. "Yeah," you mumbled.

"Let me know if you need anything." With that, he walked back over to the weight rack to finish his reps.

You were about 5 minutes away from having a full blown heart attack, but it would be super awkward if you left the gym now. So you climbed onto the treadmill and started walking at a steady pace. You did your best to keep your eyes forward, but you could feel Elliot looking at you every time he sat up.

After several minutes, he stood up and came across the room towards you. "Mind if I--?" he asked, gesturing to the machine beside you.

"Oh--uhh, sure," you stammered.

He smiled and got onto the elliptical.

You'd been sucking in your stomach as much as possible since the moment he noticed you...it was restricting your ability to breathe properly, but you didn't care. Standing next to a man who looked that good made you feel incredibly uncomfortable, frumpy even.

"How you liking SVU so far?"

Fuck, now he's gonna ask me questions? I already can't breathe. "I like it, but it's not easy work."

He nodded. "No it's not, but it's rewarding."

"Mhmm," you hummed.

"You're the first crime analyst we've ever had on the squad."

"I know," you said quickly. "I hope I'm adding value."

"You add a lot of value, both to the work we do and to the general morale of the squad."

"Oh," you said in surprise. "I, uhh, I appreciate that."

He chuckled lightly. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," you said tentatively.

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"What?" you asked in genuine surprise. "Why would you think that?"

"Well...you don't make eye contact with me very often and you stutter a lot when you talk to me--like you're flustered."

"I promise, it's not because you make me uncomfortable." It's because every time I see you, I want you to rip my clothes off and bend me over your desk.

You could feel his eyes on you, almost like he was scanning you--trying to decide if you were being honest. You didn't dare turn your head, you'd either fall on your face or reveal the thoughts in your head.

"Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure," he said with a smile. "I like you, (Y/N)...I don't wanna make you uncomfortable."

That tiny naive voice in the back of your mind squealed he likes me! but the more logical part of your brain ignored it. A man that looked like that was not interested in a woman who looked like you.

"I appreciate that," you mumbled. You'd only been on the treadmill for 40 minutes, but you decided that was more than enough. You wanted to get the hell outta there. You hit 'stop' on the machine and hopped off. "I'm gonna hit the shower. See you in the squad room."

"Okay. See you there."

20 minutes later, you were seated comfortably at your desk, going over some reports you needed to write.

You felt Elliot's presence before you saw him, and you did your best to act nonchalant. He walked up to the desk across from yours and leaned against it. He'd clearly showered and was now dressed in his usual slacks and a button down, sleeves rolled up to reveal his toned forearms and his tattoo.

"You smell really good," he commented. "Body wash or perfume?"

"Oh, uhh--maybe both?" It better be that damn perfume. It was expensive.

He smiled. "Well if it's the perfume, I'd recommend wearing it more often. It smells delicious." He shot you a wink before walking over to his own desk and sitting down.

You couldn't help but wonder if this man knew the effect he had on you and if that was why he was flirting with you. Was he even flirting? Hell, you had no idea. The hotter the man, the more awkward you became. You had a hell of a time reading them and it had messed you up in the past.

It's not that you had low self-esteem necessarily, it's just that you'd put on a fair amount of weight in the last couple years and it definitely affected your self-confidence. Hence why you'd started going to the gym every day...you wanted to get that young, happy, thinner version of you back.

As the day progressed, you forgot all about your encounter with Elliot that morning. It was a busy day and it flew by. Before you knew it, it was after 7pm and you were still curled up at your desk, typing away on your computer.

You heard a throat clear to your left and you turned to glare at whomever it was that dared to interrupt you. "Oh, Elliot!" you exclaimed in surprise. "I figured you'd gone home by now."

"I thought you would have too," he said with a shrug. "I'm actually just heading out now, but I wanted to see if you were hungry."

At that exact moment, your stomach let out a little grumble. You realized you'd worked straight through lunch and you were starving. "I could eat."

He raised an eyebrow. "You didn't eat lunch, so I'm betting you're starving."

He was paying that much attention? "Yeah, you're right. It's probably time to get the hell outta here anyway."

"My thoughts exactly. Come on, I'll take you home. We can get dinner on the way--my treat."

You normally took the subway, but it was after dark and the squad didn't like you walking home or riding the subway alone. "Oh, you don't have to do that."

"It's not a chore, (Y/N). We can stop anywhere you'd like."

You bit your lip as you thought about it. You really should turn him down, but if you'd learned anything in your time with SVU, it was that being a woman in New York was dangerous enough without walking alone at night.

"There's a little pizza shop by my apartment," you conceded.

He grinned. "How'd you know I was thinking pizza?"

You laughed. "You eat it all the time...you must think pizza is a vegetable."

He laughed. "It's delicious. Grab your coat."

You hurried to pack up, then you threw on your coat and followed him out to his car. It was a chilly night, but the sky was clear and the air was crisp.

Elliot made small talk on the way to the pizza place. You were thankful that he carried the majority of the conversation and you couldn't wait to have food to occupy your mouth with so you wouldn't sound like such an idiot.

"I don't think I've ever been here," he commented as he found a parking spot near the shop.

"It's the absolute best," you insisted enthusiastically.

He smiled at your animation. "This is the most excited I've ever seen you."

You blushed. "I like food."

"So do I...and I'm starving, so let's go in."

As soon as you walked in the door, you heard a thick Italian accent yell your name. "(Y/N)! Looking beautiful as ever."

You smiled at the older man, embracing him when he came around the counter for a hug. "You're too sweet, Gio."

After he released you from the bear hug, he turned to look at Elliot, clearly sizing him up. "Who is this?"

"This is Elliot. We work together," you said reassuringly. "Elliot, this is Giovanni Romano, owner and chef extraordinaire."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Elliot said as he extended his hand for a shake.

Gio looked him up and down, and apparently decided he liked him because he smiled really wide and said, "No handshakes! We hug here," before wrapping a surprised Elliot into a hug.

You laughed at the look on Elliot's face. Gio finally let him go and Elliot looked relieved, if not a little shocked.

"Maria!" Gio yelled towards the back. "La principessa is here with il innamorato."

You turned red as a tomato and prayed Elliot didn't speak Italian. "Gio!" you hissed.

"My principessa?" Maria yelled as she came out of the kitchen. She bustled over to where you were still standing by the door.

"She's Gio's wife," you whispered to Elliot a millisecond before she grabbed you in a tight hug.

She then turned her attention to Elliot. She nodded approvingly and turned to whisper to you, "Lui è bello."

You blushed again. "Sì," you mumbled back. "Now silenzio, per favore."

She smiled at you and gave your cheek an affectionate tap. "What can we get the two of you, amorino?"

You smiled. "Two of your best pies, Maria." You turned to Elliot, realizing he might not want you to order for him. "If that's okay with you."

He smiled. "I trust you."

"Two pies coming up!" Maria said with a smile. She grabbed Gio and practically dragged him towards the kitchen with her. You could hear her talking about Elliot and you in Italian and it made you laugh.

Elliot followed you to a table near the back of the small building. "So, uh...you come here often?"

You blushed. "Nearly every day when I was in school," you said honestly. "The food is delicious, cheap, and there's free WIFI. Plus, Gio and Maria have become like family to me."

"They seem really sweet."

You smiled fondly. "They're the best. I don't have any family of my own, but they both kinda took me under their wings...like an Aunt and Uncle."

"That's very kind of them."

Gio appeared with two waters, before he disappeared again with a wink in your direction.

"I didn't know you spoke Italian."

"Oh, uh, yeah. Gio and Maria taught me. I ended up minoring in Italian at NYU."

"So, uh...what did they say about me?"

"Hmmm?" you pretended not to know what he was talking about...you really didn't want to answer him.

"Come on, I know they were talking about me."

"Maria said you were handsome, that's all."

He raised his eyebrow. "Why don't I believe you?"

"She did!" you insisted.

"I don't think that's the only thing she said."

You blushed.

"You're blushing."

"It's warm in here."

"No, it's not. Just tell me what she said."

You bit your lip. "Do I have to?"

He laughed. "No, but I'd really like to know."

"Technically that's all Maria said. Gio, on the other hand...well, he called you my um...well in Italian it means 'lover', but you can think of it more like boyfriend, I guess? Or maybe more like sweetheart?" you rambled.

Elliot laughed heartily. He enjoyed watching you fumble for what to say. It was endearing and incredibly cute. "I hope you didn't correct them."

You nearly spit out your water. "What?"

"Well, if you're as close to them as you seem to be...then they would know if you were seeing someone right?"

You nodded.

"And their assumption that I'm your lover means you're not seeing anyone?"

You nodded again, clearly uncomfortable.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah," he said with a smile. "Good." He picked up his water and took a long drink, eyes never leaving yours.

What the actual fuck is happening? "I'm confused."

He shrugged. "Let me put it this way, I'm honored they would think I'm your lover."

You choked on nothing but air. "Excuse me?"

He smiled again, wider than before. He leaned in closer to make sure no one but you could hear his next words. "I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it."

Your jaw nearly hit the floor. You stared at him in shocked silence for what felt like an eternity.

Like a little Italian savior, Maria appeared beside the table with her famous focaccia.

You grabbed a piece of the delicious bread and took a massive bite, despite the fact that it was fresh from the oven. It burned your mouth, but you didn't care. You needed something to distract you from the words Elliot had just said and the way he was staring at you.

Maria gave you look that said slow down, but she didn't say it out loud. "The rest will be out soon, amorino."

Once Maria was out of ear shot, Elliot asked, "What does amorino mean?"

"Essentially 'little love'. It's a term of endearment," you answered, grateful for the change in topic.

Elliot steered the conversation in other directions for the rest of dinner. He asked you all sorts of questions about your life and answered several of your own. He didn't mention what he'd said earlier, and you were fine pretending it hadn't happened.

After dinner, Elliot insisted on paying the bill, even though Gio tried to comp it. You knew it made Elliot look respectable in Gio's eyes and for some reason, that made you proud.

"I'll pull the car up," Elliot told you before heading outside.

"He's lovely, principessa," Gio said softly.

"I know, but he's just a friend, Gio."

"Ahh, amorino, you are young! You cannot see," he insisted.

"Can't see what?"

"The way he looks at you, (Y/N/N)," Maria said gently as she joined the two of you.

"Like you hung the moon," Gio finished.

"You two are romantics," you said with a laugh.

"Perhaps, but we are old...we've lived. We both know what it means when a man looks at a woman the way Elliot looks at you," Maria assured you.

She wrapped you in a tight hug and Gio followed.

"Now go, principessa," Maria said with a smile. "He's waiting."

You turned to look out the door and sure enough, Elliot was standing on the sidewalk, leaning against the car, waiting for you to come outside.

You said your goodbyes and met Elliot out on the sidewalk. "Fancy meeting you here," you teased.

He smiled. "It's almost like I planned it that way."

You laughed and walked towards the now open passenger side door. Elliot helped you into the car and closed the door before going to his side and getting in.

During the short drive to your apartment, you watched Elliot out of the corner of your eye. You were looking for whatever it was that Gio and Maria insisted they saw. He was relaxed, more so than he ever was at work, and he seemed genuinely comfortable. But comfort and desire were two very different things.

Much sooner than you would have liked, Elliot pulled up in front of your building. This time of night, there wasn't much by way of street parking, but he managed to snag a spot a block away. "I'll walk you in."

"You don't have to," you assured him.

"It's after 9...there are pervs on the street."

You almost laughed, but you knew he was serious. His statement wasn't funny, so much as the way he said it. "Alright, come on."

He followed you to the front door of your building. You punched in the code and the door unlocked. As you pulled it open, you had a sudden burst of confidence.

"Would you like to come up?" you blurted.

You weren't sure who was more surprised, you or Elliot. He certainly recovered faster than you. "I'd love to."

You just nodded awkwardly and held the door for him to follow you in. The two of you took the stairs in silence, a silence that continued all the way to your door. "This is me," you mumbled.

You unlocked the door without looking at him and gestured for him to enter. You were thankful you'd cleaned the apartment the day before, so everything was neat and organized.

"It's a cute place," he commented.

"Thanks," you moved to the kitchen, needing something to do with your hands. "It's all I can afford. Do you--uh, do you want a drink?"

"Sure," he said warmly as he slipped his coat off and draped it over the back of the chair.

You poured him a drink and poured yourself a double. Lord knew you needed a little more liquid courage than he did. You were taking a risk--making a gamble you weren't sure would pay off.

You came into the living room and handed him his drink before sitting on the couch beside him. You left space between you, just in case he wanted there to be some.

You were drinking your beverage a little faster than you should have and he noticed. "You alright?"

"Mhmm," you hummed.

"Is this about what I said at the restaurant?"

"Umm--uhh--"

"Because I didn't mean to offend you or make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't," you said quickly. It had made you uncomfortable, but not in the way he was thinking.

"Okay, good." He took a sip of his drink. "Because I meant it."

You exhaled sharply and he turned to look at you.

He sat his glass down on the coffee table and scooted closer to you. "I think about it all the time, (Y/N). I think about you all the time. It's almost annoying--you occupy my thoughts all day every day and I don't know how to deal with it. You make me feel like a teenager again."

You didn't know what to say. You'd dreamed of this happening, but you never actually thought it would. Now that you were sitting in this position, you had no idea what to do.

"I know I'm older than you--hell, I might be too old for you, but I can't help the way I feel. I'll never bring it up again if that's what you want, but I wanted to tell you the truth."

"You're not too old for me," you said quickly.

"How old are you?"

"30."

"Oh," he seemed almost relieved. "I thought you were younger than that...I actually feel better."

You laughed lightly. "10 years isn't all that much."

He shook his head. "Not at our ages."

You fell silent again, unsure what to say next. You finished your drink, then set it on the coffee table beside his. "Why me?"

He looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Why would you want me?"

"Because you're incredible?"

You rolled your eyes. "Elliot, come on. Look at us."

"I don't understand."

You sighed, feeling reluctant to answer. "Look at you. Hot, muscular, in incredible shape. Then look at me. I'm none of those things--I'm overweight, frumpy, and average at best."

He stared at you in silence for a long moment, shock evident in his features. "While I appreciate the compliments, doll, that's not what I see when I look at you."

You almost didn't want to ask, but you had to know. "What do you see?" you whispered.

He moved closer to you so he could take your hand in his. "I see a beautiful woman with warm, caring eyes, and a gentle heart. I see a woman who makes me laugh, a woman who's witty and charming and brilliant. I see the kind of woman I can imagine a future with."

You were breathless by the time he'd finished speaking. No man had ever said anything like that to you before, even before you'd put on weight.

"Do you want more details? I can give you more," he said softly as he leaned forward so his body hovered over yours. You were caged in the corner of the couch and for the first time in a long time, you felt tiny.

You couldn't find the words, so you simply nodded.

He smiled down at you and licked his lips. "I see the sexiest woman I've ever met--a woman I've wanted to touch since the moment I laid eyes on her. Every part of her gorgeous body is perfect...and I want to claim it all as mine," he finished with a soft growl.

Every instinct in your body was screaming at you to just do something and you finally gave in. You wanted this as much as he did, so why not indulge?

You leaned forward and crashed your lips against his, moaning softly as he pulled you closer. He deepened the kiss, desperate to feel as much of you as he could.

You shifted beneath him, allowing him to settle between your legs. He wedged his knee against your crotch and brought his hands down to your sides.

You moaned softly as his lips began to trace your jaw line, then down your neck, then to the sweet spot behind your ear.

You felt his hot breath in your ear as he whispered, "You're so beautiful." You shivered involuntarily and your hips bucked forward in search of friction.

He chuckled softly. "Needy, are we?"

"Yes," you admitted, allowing the desperation to creep into your voice. "Need you."

"Oh sweet thing, don't you worry, I'll take care of you."

"Elliot," you whimpered softly.

He groaned. "God I love hearing you say my name like that."

He grabbed you around the waist and pulled you against him. You instinctively wrapped your legs around him and he whispered, "Good girl."

You shuddered, the praise going right to your core. It didn't go unnoticed by him, and he tucked it in the back of his mind for later.

"Where's the bedroom?"

You pointed to the right and he stood up with you still wrapped around him like a baby koala. "Elliot!" you yelped.

He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. "Don't worry, baby, I got you."

He carried you to your room with ease, tossing you onto the bed like you weighed nothing more than a rag doll. You'd never been so turned on in your damn life.

He climbed on the bed, covering you with his large form. His lips sought yours again, latching onto you like you were his lifeline. Your left hand trailed up his back, your fingers gently clutching the hairs at the back of his head.

He continued to kiss you, but your mind began to wander. You thought about seeing him in the gym earlier that morning and your body started to heat up even more. You wanted to see all of him, not just his arm muscles.

You gripped the edge of his shirt and tugged harshly, desperate to get it off him as fast as possible. He chuckled softly as he sat up, just long enough to take off his shirt.

He was back on top of you before you could register the view--and you found yourself annoyed. An idea popped into your head and you smirked against his lips. He might be a hell of a lot stronger than you, but you had the element of surprise.

You wrapped your legs around his waist again, pulling him towards you so you could lock your ankles around him. His groan quickly turned into a gasp of surprise when you flipped him onto his back. You smiled down at him, a mischievous glint in your eyes.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked lightly.

"I wanted to see you better...so I'm in control now."

He didn't often give up control anywhere, let alone the bedroom, but you looked so pleased with yourself that he couldn't help but acquiesce.

Your eyes had drifted from his face to his exposed torso. He watched as your hands followed the curve of his muscles, eyes drinking in every inch of his skin. The way you looked at him was intoxicating--it was like a drug he didn't wanna quit.

Your eyes flicked back up to his and he saw the unbridled lust in them. It took every ounce of self-control he had to not flip you over and fuck you senseless. All he could think about was hearing you screaming his name, but he knew he had to wait. He had a feeling it would be worth it.

"Can I touch you?" he asked softly.

You nodded and he immediately grabbed your hips and tugged you onto his abdomen. He wanted you to be a little bit closer so he could touch every part of you. His hands slowly slid under the hem of your shirt and for a moment, you froze--panic rising in your chest.

Elliot saw it flicker across your face, so he stopped moving, but he didn't remove his hands. He wanted to make sure you knew he was only stopping to make sure you were comfortable, not because he found something he didn't like.

"Can I keep going?" he whispered.

You nodded cautiously, so he slowly moved his hands farther up your belly. He enjoyed the feeling of your soft curves and he had a feeling he was really going to enjoy holding onto you while he fucked you.

He reached the edge of your bra and paused, waiting for you to indicate it was okay for him to continue. You didn't tell him to stop, so he slid his hands up over your breasts, giving them a gentle squeeze. You released a soft sigh and he did his best to keep moving at a slow pace, despite wanting to literally rip your clothes off.

You allowed him to pull your shirt up and over your head, and it took all the energy you had not to wrap your arms around yourself and hide. When you saw the look on his face--the hunger in his eyes--you suddenly didn't feel as self-conscious as before. Your body reacted to him in the same way his reacted to you, and you felt the desperation begin to creep in.

You shifted your hips, seeking some kind of friction against his body, while your nails raked down his chest. He groaned softly, but his hands didn't leave your body. Instead, they slipped around to your back and quickly unhooked your bra.

The moment your breasts came into full view, his hands began to massage and knead them, fingers pinching and twisting your nipples gently.

You moaned and dug your nails into his sides, gripping them for stability. He looked up at you, at your dark, lust-filled eyes, and he lost control for a moment. He flipped you onto your back so fast you let out a little yelp in surprise.

That yelp quickly turned to deep moans as his mouth attached to your breasts, sending bolts of pleasure through your body. His hands fumbled with the button and zipper of your pants--he was about 3 seconds away from ripping them when he finally got the buttons undone.

"Why are women's dress pants so complicated? There are literally THREE buttons." he mumbled against your skin.

You laughed warmly, knowing he was right. "Try wearing them sometime."

He grinned up at you. "They look better on you, but..." he tugged your pants off and tossed them onto the floor. "...just as I thought, they look much better on the floor."

You chuckled at his joke and rolled your eyes. You were about to comment on the cheesiness of his statement, when he sat up and began removing his own pants. You were so focused on watching him that you forgot what you were about to say.

You eyed his bulge when it came into view and you began to pant with need. Elliot noticed and gave you a little smirk. "Want me to take these off?" he asked, gesturing to his boxers.

You nodded rapidly.

"Sorry, baby, I didn't catch that."

"Yes, please," you said aloud.

"Good girl."

You moaned and rolled your hips involuntarily--the praise going directly to your core.

His words had the desired effect on you and it only made him want you more. He tugged off his underwear and climbed back into the bed, but you stopped him with a gasp.

"Absolutely not," you said with wide eyes.

"What?" he asked in confusion. He followed your line of sight and realized you were staring directly at his dick. "Something wrong?"

"It's not gonna fit."

Elliot nearly collapsed in relief as he started to laugh. "Baby, you had me worried for a minute." He laughed again. "Don't worry, it'll fit."

You shook your head. "I might be a big girl, but my vagina isn't."

He laughed again. "You're perfect, baby, and I promise you, I'll be gentle."

You finally looked back up at him, eyes still filled with doubt. He offered you a warm smile and it helped to put you at ease. "Okay," you murmured. "I trust you."

"That's my girl." He climbed back on top of you and kissed you deeply.

When he broke off the kiss, he began to make his way down your body, lips never more than an inch away from your skin. He was dying to taste you and he was quite certain he'd waited long enough.

When he reached your core, his eyes flicked up to yours to make sure you were watching. He grabbed ahold of the edge of your panties with his teeth and tugged on them--pulling them down your body with nothing but his mouth.

You didn't know why the hell that was so hot, but good god it was. But nothing could have prepared you for the sight of Elliot's large body between your legs, mouth mere centimeters from where you needed him. You'd never imagined he'd look this damn good, nor did you imagine you would feel so comfortable baring yourself to him completely.

Elliot locked eyes with you as he placed soft kisses to your inner thighs and your pussy lips. He breathed in your scent as he did so, and he had to grip the bedsheets to keep from losing his control.

You were panting heavily, the anticipation nearly killing you. "Elliot, please," you whimpered, hips jerking slightly.

He smiled as he placed another kiss to your mound. "Please what, baby?"

"Do something," you begged.

"Something?"

"Anything! Please!"

Normally he would have kept asking until you used your words and told him what you really wanted, but he was having a hard time resisting his own urges right now, so he decided to have mercy on you.

He dove into you with abandon, mouth working you in ways you'd never imagined. It was like having a sex god between your legs--not that you'd ever say that to him, he'd probably find it blasphemous--but in that moment, you couldn't be bothered to care.

Your nails raked against his scalp as you struggled to find purchase somewhere on his body. Your hands finally came to rest on his biceps, nails digging into his skin as you held on for dear life.

Your body jerked beneath him, the pleasure so immense that he had to hold you down to keep you from squirming away from him. He glanced back up at your face to make sure you were enjoying it--and was met with the most beautiful sight.

Your head was thrown back against the pillows, mouth open as you moaned and panted. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly with each heavy breath you took. He wished he could see your face better, but it was more than obvious you were enjoying yourself.

He somehow learned exactly what you liked, and what you needed, without you having to say a single word. You were more than pleased because you were certain you couldn't actually speak. The only sounds coming from your mouth were moans and something that closely resembled his name.

His fingertips were digging into your hips as he held you in place--his grip so tight it was sure to leave bruises. Your legs began to shake around him and your thighs started to close in on his head, but he was more than happy to wear your legs like earmuffs.

Your moans rose in volume and length, signaling you were close. Your nails dug deeper into his biceps, pressing crescent shapes into his skin. It would have been painful in any other setting, but he was more than delighted to bear the pain.

He knew you were close to orgasm, so he sped up his movements, tongue dancing against your clit with expert precision.

You gasped his name, hips jerking against him as you came. He held on tightly as he helped you ride out your high--not stopping even as you began to whimper.

"Too sensitive, Elliot," you gasped.

He lifted his head long enough to say, "I'm not done," before diving in with renewed vigor.

You gasped at the intensity of the sensations and within seconds you could feel a second orgasm building within you.

He lifted his head again. "Unless you want me to stop?"

"No!" you practically yelled. Your hand grabbed the back of his head and pushed him back down and he chuckled warmly at your insistence.

"I didn't think so," he mumbled before licking his way back into your pussy.

Unlike your first orgasm, your second hit you suddenly and quickly--rendering you nearly speechless. You could do nothing but gasp for air as wave after wave of pleasure threatened to drown you in an ocean of passion.

Elliot finally lifted his head, a satisfied smirk resting on his handsome features. You looked down at him, breathless and wide eyed, and he felt his body heat up.

He moved with such speed that it surprised you, nearly pouncing on top of you, mouth mere inches from yours. He seemed to be studying your face and for a moment you felt embarrassed--unaccustomed to such a lustful expression on another person's face.

But the way he looked at you--the desire evident in his eyes--simultaneously put you at ease and made you want him with renewed desire.

He touched your cheek, which was flushed bright red. He could feel the heat radiating from it and he liked being the cause of such a reaction. "You look beautiful like this," he whispered.

Your cheeks turned a darker crimson and he smiled, knowing he'd caused that as well. "I like you like this," he murmured. "Laid out beneath me, pretty eyes wide, lips parted, hair a mess...I've never seen anything so sexy."

"Elliot," you whispered. You didn't know what else to say, so you let your body do the talking for you. You tugged him down to you, lips latching onto his as you kissed him hungrily.

He lowered himself to be closer to you, careful not to put his weight on top of you--he didn't want to hurt you. His hands tangled in your hair as he deepened the kiss, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

You moaned softly, hips pressing upward against his pelvis. His cock brushed against your core, earning a groan from deep in his chest.

You liked the sound he made and you were desperate to hear more of them, so you did it again, this time more slowly and with more pressure. He pressed against you, his own body seeking friction of its own volition.

You slipped your dominant hand between your bodies and wrapped it around the base of his cock, squeezing gently as you stroked upward. He groaned and his hips bucked against your hand.

Even though he was on top of you, you felt like you were in control...and you were going to use it to your advantage. You slipped the head of his cock between your folds, sliding it upward against your clit. He groaned and bit down into the soft flesh of your neck and you gasped at the mixture of pain and pleasure.

You were about to do it again, but Elliot pulled just out of reach. "Baby if you keep doing that, I'm gonna lose control."

Your eyes widened innocently. "What if that's exactly what I want?"

His eyes widened in surprise. "What?" he croaked.

"What if I want you to lose control? What if I like the idea of you fucking me like a feral wild animal? I want you to fuck me so well I can't walk tomorrow. Make me scream, Elliot. Please."

The seductive tone in your voice morphed into a plea at the end--a plea Elliot could not refuse. Not when you looked so gorgeous and needy beneath him...not when you said his name like that...not when you begged him to fuck you like he'd been dreaming about for months.

He grabbed his cock and began to rub it gently against your entrance, earning soft moans of pleasure from you. He knew you would feel incredible, but he was trying to hang onto whatever sanity he had left.

"Relax for me, baby," he whispered gently. He felt the tension in your body ease a little, but he needed you to be completely relaxed or he was definitely going to hurt you.

He gently rubbed circles into your hips, trying to calm your racing heart. "I've got you, doll. I'll go real slow, okay?"

You nodded, expression still worried.

"Hey," he whispered, leaning forward to kiss you softly. "You tell me to stop, I stop, okay? No matter what."

"I don't want you to stop," you whispered.

He smiled gently. "Just in case, baby." He kissed you again before assuming his previous position. "Just relax, beautiful. It'll feel so good--I know you're ready for me."

You relaxed your body as much as you could, but nothing could have properly prepared you for the stretch you were about to experience.

Elliot began to slowly enter you, eyes never leaving your face. Every time you winced or inhaled sharply, he wanted to stop, but you told him to keep going.

Once he fully bottomed out, your breathing was ragged as your body adjusted to his size. He was using every ounce of will power he'd ever had to just stay still.

"You're doing so well for me, baby," he managed to groan out. "Such a good girl."

Your pussy spasmed around him as the words "good girl" registered in your brain. You suddenly needed him to move...

The moment he felt you clench around him, something inside of him snapped and it was game over for him. Whatever self-control he'd had went out the window and he started to move, setting a fast pace from the start.

Your cries mixed with his groans as he slammed into you with force. Somewhere deep in the recesses of his mind, he worried he was hurting you, but one look at your face shut that voice down instantly.

You looked much like you did when he'd been eating you out, only this time he had a view of your face. It was a sight to behold--one he didn't think he'd ever get over.

"You feel so good, baby," he whispered.

"Please, El--" you whimpered.

He wasn't sure what you needed and you didn't appear to be in any position to tell him, so he decided to take matters into his own hands. He shifted his body so your hips were angled up, one leg on either side of head. As he thrust into you, you cried out desperately, hands fisting the sheets beside you.

He felt as the head of his cock hit that soft spot inside you--and he knew he couldn't stop now. He kept up his pace, slamming into your g-spot with each thrust.

The sounds coming from your mouth were incredible--he wanted to hear them every single day for the rest of his life. You were shaking with pleasure, body writhing against him as he struggled to keep you in place.

He needed to feel you cum around his cock at least once before he found his own release...so all of his focus was on getting you to your next orgasm.

He started to murmur dirty things to you, noticing the way your body reacted to his words. "Your pussy feels so good, baby. So tight and warm--I could stay here all night."

You were way too far gone to respond verbally, but your body told him everything he needed to know.

"You're taking me so well--squeezing so tight."

He placed soft, sloppy kisses to your calves, hips never slowing their intense pace.

"This is my pussy, you hear me? Mine. I'm gonna make sure she feels so good, baby."

You moaned loudly--clearly liking the idea of being his.

"You like that, huh? You like knowing you're mine? Like knowing I'm marking you? No one else will ever compare, baby--gonna ruin you."

"Elliot!" you screamed as your orgasm came crashing down on you. Your pussy spasmed around his cock, squeezing him so tightly he could hardly breathe.

The feeling of your orgasm triggered his own, sending him spiraling over the edge with a deep groan and whispers of your name. He filled you with his seed, letting your legs fall to either side of his hips as he stuttered his last few thrusts.

He collapsed on top of you, whispering your name against your skin like a prayer. He kissed your jaw and your neck--the affection warming your heart as you lay beneath him, slowly coming down from your high.

After several moments, Elliot pulled out of you and rolled onto his back. You both lay on the bed, breathless, as you tried to regain control of your heart rates.

Elliot grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours as he lay beside you. He turned to look at you and he smiled, taking in your beautiful post-sex glow.

You turned your head to look at him and smiled warmly. "That was..."

"Fucking incredible."

"I was gonna say decent," you teased.

He laughed and jokingly rolled away from you.

"Come back! I was kidding!" you called after him.

He kept laughing as he looked over his shoulder at you. "Come get me then."

"I can't move," you said simply.

He rolled back towards you, body now facing you. "Oh yeah? And it was just decent?"

"Decent--best sex of my life--same thing."

He grinned wolfishly and leaned in to kiss you. "That's more like it."

You rolled your eyes and affectionately smacked his arm. "Cocky, are we?"

"I know what I'm good at," he said with a shrug.

"Smart ass," you teased.

"But you like my ass," he teased back.

"It does look nice in those jeans you sometimes wear. Makes me wanna bite it."

"Oooo, kinky."

You both laughed.

Elliot looked down and his expression immediately sobered.

"What's wrong?"

"I--I didn't--I was so caught up..."

"What?"

He looked back up at you, a look of regret on his handsome face. "I didn't even think about putting on a condom, (Y/N)...I--God, I'm so sorry."

You shrugged. "No need to worry. I trust that you're clean."

"I am," he assured you. "But what about...pregnancy?"

"Oh," you brushed him off. "We definitely don't need to worry about that. I have a tiny sperm murderer living in my uterus."

"You have a what?"

You laughed. "I have an IUD."

He started laughing too. "Oh! 'Sperm murderer'..." he mumbled as he laughed even harder.

You grinned ear to ear. "I was gonna call it a tiny copper knight defending my honor, but I figured that was too much."

"You're so weird," he teased. "Come here."

You giggled as he grabbed you and dragged you against his chest. He held you tightly as he kissed your skin softly. "You're so beautiful," he whispered.

"Elliot..."

"You are," he insisted.

For the first time in a long time, you felt truly beautiful, but more importantly, you felt seen. He knew who you were and wanted you anyway. He liked you for you...and he liked your body, which was really just a bonus.

"What are you thinking about?"

"If we should get a shower...or go for round two?"

He groaned softly. "I'm an old man, doll."

You rolled over so you were on top of him. "Well that's just a pity...there's so much I wanna do to you."

His eyes seemed to burn as he looked at you. There was absolutely no way in hell he could say no to you. "You're gonna be the death of me."

"At least you'll die a happy man."

He grinned. "No man has ever been happier."

Before you could respond, he grabbed you and pulled you down to him, slamming his lips against yours in a bruising kiss. Your last coherent thought before Elliot sent you into orgasmic oblivion again was I guess that's a yes for round two.

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