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elia-de-silentio · 2 years

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Portrait Of a Father(?)

I think we can all agree that this is the most controversial chapter in the whole manga. We can’t agree on what its message is, if we are supposed to agree with it, what Asagiri wanted us to think about the characters involved … So, I finally decided to jump in the lion pit and put forward my opinions on it.

I’ll start with a brief recap: Atsushi finds out that the Headmaster of his orphanage, the one who tormented him, is dead. His reaction is … well, if he had been legal for drinking, he would have rushed to buy champagne. A fitting reaction, considering what we have already seen of the Headmaster at this point.

But then we get a shocking revelation: the Headmaster died in a car accident while going to buy flowers for Atsushi, to congratulate him on his successes with the Agency and his great work in saving the whole city. Atsushi is shocked, because … seriously? Eighteen years of abuse, and now he acts like he has always cared about him?

And he expresses his conflicted emotions with a likewise erratic behavior: he runs off from Tanizaki, tries to have a cathartic fight with Akutagawa (who ignores him exactly because of his state of mind), goes to his old orphanage to attend the funeral from a distance, and lastly wanders off to see some conveniently placed families with attentive fathers and young sons.

At this point, Dazai reaches him. And here starts the really controversial part.

They examine together the Headmaster’s background: he appearently grew up in the same orphanage, but at a time when it had even worse conditions, enough to make Atsushi’s time under his education ‘look like heaven’ in comparison. When he got out alongside some other orphans, he quickly fell into a life of crime; then they all got drafted into the Great War, and saw his friends die one by one, until he was the only one left standing.

This left him with an huge unaddressed trauma and the convinction that his determination and will to live, acquired in spite of hardships, were the only reasons he survived; so he decided to dedicate himself to raising the next generation of orphans according to these principles, creating a system where the priority would have been survival at all costs.

And the narration, through Dazai, sorts of portrays him positively for that. Attention is brought to how he was tortured worse than Atsushi did, how the fierce mindset underneath Atsushi’s meekness was grown by his treatment of him. If the Headmaster never did so, would Atsushi be so attached to life? Would he have not succumbed to self-loathing?

To answer this, I’ll take the liberty to give first my own analysis, and then consider what the manga probably wants me to answer.

Yes, if the Headmaster had not been abusive, Atsushi would have survived. Much better, I’d add. It is mentioned that Atsushi was nearly killed at his orphanage, more that one time, and let’s remember that he has one hell of an healing factor. If he had been a normal kid, chances are that he wouldn’t have survived … which, besides begging the question of how on earth the Headmaster’s own time at the orphanage could have been worse than attempted and nearly successful murder, makes one wonder how exactly it’s supposed to be formative for the kid.

Then, the Headmaster is given the credit to have prevented Atsushi’s self-loathing for being a tiger, by becoming himself the object of his hatred. What a martyr. The problem with his reasoning is, that is all the damn story that we see Atsushi have an huge issue with self-loathing! And it isn’t even related to the tiger, most of the times! There are moments where he’s shocked and scared after he went overboard with his power, but the main sources of his problems, the flashbacks that plague him? They’re about his time at the orphanage.

He regularly remembers, and even has allucinations of, the Headmaster and the other members of the staff calling him worthless, good for nothing, pathetic, unworthy to live, and all sorts of pleasantries of this kind. When he allucinates the Headmaster, that nasty voice in his head is the one who tells him to quit, to give up, that he’s not good enough and he shouldn’t even try to do something with his life.

Of course, at this point we could rigirare la frittata saying that it’s what the Headmaster meant, to make Atsushi stronger by giving him someone to rebel against … but honestly? There are thousands of better, different ways to teach someone to value their own life. If the Headmaster, given his traumas, couldn’t think of one, then it’s his own damn fault for not realizing that he couldn’t be a good teacher or caretaker before a lot of therapy, and not taking a different life path.

The one who gives his all despite his insecurities is Atsushi. The one who is willing to face down powerful enemies in desperate battles for the sake of a city he has come to love is Atsushi. The one that didn’t wield to despair and self loathing, pushing forward each and every time, that’s Atsushi. The Headmaster doesn’t have a shred of merit in this.

Now, time to take a guess at authorial intent. And this is … tricky, that is, for the very simple reason that I can’t get into Asagiri’s head and extract the intended correct interpretations from the multiple possibilities. All I can do is propose the most likely, based on what I can read.

The first possible interpretation: the most obvious. We are meant to take that scene and its message as it is. The Headmaster did terrible things, but he also helped Atsushi in his growth. Our boy wouldn’t be half as strong if he hadn’t already experienced severe abuse, and he’s really got to cry the death of his father figure. Bacia la mano che ruppe il tuo naso perchè le chiedevi un boccone.

Another possible interpretation is that it’s an acknowledgement of the fact that people are complicated, and it’s fine to have complicated feelings towards them. Warped as he was, the Headmaster truly believed that he was doing what was better for Atsushi. Isn’t it horrible to confront the fact that the person who abused you is not a cardboard villain with nothing inside, but instead a very complex human being who had a ‘benevolent’, if not logically sound, reasoning behind them? Atsushi is not in a good situation: on the one hand, he can’t forgive the Headmaster for what he did to him, but on the other, he can’t ignore the fact that he did it out of “care” for him (wheter of not it did him any good). He, who had repeatedly been told that he was worthless and undeserving, he had been the object of care all along! What’s one to do in such a situation?

Atsushi doesn’t know either. There is no manual with the instruction for the right emotions and reactions to have. 'Quando a mio padre si fermò il cuore' ... magari avessi semplicemente non provato dolore. He ends up looking at Dazai with that face, a very forced smile in the uncertainty about how else to react. And Dazai just gives his comment about people crying when their father dies, and Atsushi does exactly that. This is already a kinder interpretation: Dazai made it clear that Atsushi could react however he felt better, but he understood that the kid felt like crying, and gave him an implicit okay to do so. It was a way to help Atsushi express his emotions, bypassing the blocks that the Headmaster himself had put on the road. And personally, I suspect that it gets the closest to authorial intent, because of the emphasis on ‘finding a will to live despite one’s trauma’ has already been established as a central theme of the manga.

A third interpretation put as much focus on Dazai as it does on Atsushi. Dazai is the one who reaches to Atsushi and all but call the Headmaster’s violence ‘necessary’, defining him as Atsushi’s ‘father’. And we already know that Dazai is no stranger to violence as a teaching method; just ask Akutagawa. His treatment of the young mafioso - beatings, calling him worthless, even an attempted execution - is strikingly similar to how the Headmaster raised Atsushi.

And sure, Dazai’s got his promise to Odasaku, be a better person, stay on the path that protects the weak, but these are the ideals he picked up in his formative years in the mafia. It’s likely that he can recognize that his treatment of Akutagawa was wrong, but on some level, he thinks himself as justified: it was how you taught a kid to live in a cruel world, the same reasoning of the Headmaster. He still has his violent tendencies: remember the famous slap he gave Atsushi?

I’m not sure whether he still stands by this ‘educational system’ or not. He hasn’t expressed any explicit regret over how he treated Akutagawa, but he made a point of treating Atsushi in a very different way. He still gave that slap, but that could have been a moment of ‘regression’: a situation in which he needed an Atsushi on top of his game ASAP, couldn’t figure out how to calm him down properly, and fell back on doing what he knew: teaching through violence and harsh words. He expresses no regret over this thing either … but there actually might be, Dazai is a character defined by the fact that he lies to everybody (to his mentees, to his colleagues, to the enemies, to the readers) and so pinning down his true thoughts is very difficult.

With his answer, he might have projected more than a little in the Headmaster. Maybe what he told Atsushi was a covert way to explain his own actions, to present the point of view of ‘a person who does these things’. Maybe prepare him for an absolution; maybe prepare him to handle disappointment over his mentor’s true nature. Maybe prepare him to recognize himself in Akutagawa, and thus sympathize with him and improving the Shin Soukoku dynamic! Bungou Stray Dogs has pulled bigger levels of insane planning after all.

Anyway, I find this a pretty interesting interpretation; even if it could have been elaborated upon better, if this is the case. It would show the situation not strictly as a message to the readers, but an analysis of the characters.

Thanks to anyone who bothered to read my ramblings!

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd meta #bsd analysis #bsd atsushi #bsd dazai #elia's recaps

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barzyhughes · 4 months

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my top 10 posts of 2023 ✨

#1: matthew tkachuk being booed during the stanley cup playoffs

#2: jack hughes being sassy

#3: quinn being roasted by his team

#4: the hughes family

#5: quinn meeting firefighters 🤍

#6: jack double fisting

#7: ellen hughes being an icon

#8: “everybody’s welcome in my locker room”

#9: quinn becoming captain

#10: captain quinn hughes in the weight room

⭐️honorable mentions: “i can fake it if you want” , the hughes brothers smiling , and tito ⭐️

#the hughes brother and matthew being the only ones in my top 10 is incredibly on brand #matthew tkachuk #jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #vancouver canucks #florida panthers #nj devils #new jersey devils #2023 recap #elias pettersson

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possiblyawesometmblr · 1 year

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youtube

HEY TMA FANS! Has it been a while since you've listened to TMA? Do you want a recap before TMA2 comes careening into the station? Do you have three hours to kill?

WELL I'VE GOT YOU COVERED, FRIENDS! Come and watch me recap the entirety of TMA to a group of people who have never listened to it before in their lives!

(also, stick around to the end for a very special surprise guest....I'd tell you who it is, but y'know. He's not a fan of being known.)

#psssst the surprise guest is alasdair stuart :)#i still can't believe he agreed to do this it's so amazing #i had genuine never before seen peter lines in my email inbox i lost my mind #tma #the magnus archives #tma recap #jonny sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #alasdair stuart #peter lukas #tim stoker #elias bouchard #sasha james #Youtube

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stateofsport211 · 1 year

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[Late Post] IL Nats 2022 MS SF: Edan Leshem [1] def. Alon Elia 6-3, 6-0 Match Recap

🎥 Sport 5 IL

...especially considering both singles semifinals and doubles final. Here was how it unfolded.

The Men's Singles semifinal was a stand-off between the first seed and the current local number two, Edan Leshem, against Alon Elia. Alon Elia had to face a three-setter in the quarterfinals against Orel Kimchi, where he ultimately avoided the scare at 6-4, 3-6, 7-5. On the other hand, most of Leshem's matches were two-setters, including his quarterfinal match against Asaf Friedler 6-2, 6-4.

The first set had nobody unable to hold their serves until the third and fourth game, and another breaking game until Leshem broke again at 5-3 because Alon's shots were executed too wide for Leshem's break point, and it was also too far while responding to Leshem's backhand. Leshem eventually took the first set 6-3. Take into account that Alon's forehand made a lot of damage in the beginning, some resulted in good points where he was able to break (or break back even).

That intensity could not stand during the course of the second set, probably at the cost of yesterday's three-setter. On the other hand, Leshem started to be more aggressive, breaking 1-0 and ultimately unleashing a forehand winner to break at 3-0. He even had a backhand down-the-line winner to secure a break point, where Alon saved from a working volley, but ultimately got broken again at 5-0 because of his forehand that went too wide. Leshem secured the set and victory (serving bagel at 6-0) after an unreturned serve (to Alon's disbelief), survived another classic scare of facing a break point earlier, stemmed by the pressure to close it out.

Unfortunately, an ideal final had yet to be set. Roi Ginat advanced, albeit trailing a breadstick and up a hold, because the second seed Daniel Cukierman retired at 6-1, 0-1, right at the start of the second set. Fearing it was a dangerous fall mid-point affecting the whole game, he decided to retire, to Ginat's advancement–where he would face Leshem in the final, right after the women's singles final.

On the doubles sector, the first seeds Raz Haviv/Orel Kimchi won against Jordan Hason/Lior Goldenberg 7-5, 6-4. It looked like a close match; however, this match was not aired. On to the Singles Finals.

#atp world tour #atp tour #off season #israeli nationals #tennis updates #match points #match recap #edan leshem #alon elia

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witchinatree · 2 months

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magnus protocol episode 5 recap

"spitting out dead paperwork" WHAT ARE THE BOYS TRYING TO SAY RN

also lena ignoring him is kinda crazy shes so elias bouchard coded

i can't wait for these episodes to slowly change into me trying to guess which weird computer voice we're getting today

"my interests have always been seen as a little.. strange" mr spider doesn't like it..........

okay yeah i've seen so many people talking about how the fears aren't fears and you all are so right they are obsessions. maybe even an obsessive love if you stretch it enough?

"i won't always be there" ALICE SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT THE DEATH FLAGS DOWN BABYGIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#i love the person live blogging the experience too #like youre so me #the magnus protocol #the magnus pod #tmagp #magnus protocol #tmagp spoilers #tmagp 5 #alice dyer #alice tmagp #jon sims #chester tmagp #fen blogs tmagp

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jaisaac-cosplay · 3 months

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Okay my only public thoughts on tmagp so far

The third voice isn't Elias!! If Jon and Martin were pulled through into the Web, and Elias is dead -- and his body wasn't found -- it's got to be Jonah.

We had never met the voice actor and if I recall it was an older gentleman, and Ben Meredith voiced Elias specifically because remember it was Jonah possessing the man

And now that that body is dead, Jonah has a new voice, new form.

So! To recap my thoughts!

Elias->Jonah->Augustus.

#the magnus archives #the magnus protocol #tmagp podcast #tmagp spoilers #tmagp #jonah magnus #chester and norris #and augustus

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cryptotheism · 1 year

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All of this begs the question: “Hey, isn’t Kabbalah pretty complicated? How well did Pico actually understand this stuff?” To answer this question, let us meet Pico’s Jewish teachers.

First was Elia del Medigo, called The “Last Jewish Averroist” by his students, but considered himself a staunch follower of Maimonides. He was a sober, down-to-earth sort with a notable distaste for kabbalah. In fact, he became disillusioned with radical syncretism after a certain prominent student of his got beaten up and thrown in jail for sleeping with the wife of a Medici. Even going so far as to write the Sefer Bechinat Ha-dath, a philosophical treatise against said student’s perennial philosophy.

Next up, Flavius Mithridates. A converso with a skill for oration, referred to by his colleagues as a “clever charlatan” who preached anti-jewish ideas from the Pugio Fidei before the papal court. Known for the Bibliotheca Cabbalistica, a translation of over 70 kabbalistic works into Latin. Modern scholarly revisions of his works have found them to be “erratic” and it is likely that he added entirely fabricated christian elements to his translations to make his patrons happy. This is where Pico gets the majority of his Kabbalistic knowledge from.

And finally, Yohannan Alemanno. A full-blown astral magician, mystical syncretic, and the only actual kabbalist on this list. His works include everything from a kabbalistic commentary on the Torah, to a treatise on magically achieving eternal life, to a book of fun anecdotes about King Solomon.

So to recap, Pico’s Jewish teachers were: An anti-kabbalist who hated him, a known charlatan, and an astral magician. It is safe to say that his understanding of this fairly niche and complex corner of Jewish theology was incomplete.

Talking about the renaissance neoplatonists on patreon today

#Occult

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opeothalmologist · 10 days

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New fan of TMA (Feb 2024) who’s just started Season 4. Here were my reactions each season! 3/3 — Season 3 (with spoilers)

Part 1, Part 2

“try not to relate to jonathan sims challenge (failed in 5 seconds)”

“the storybook concept is SO. GOOD.”

“Elias Bouchard always gaslight gatekeep girlbossing” (The one time I felt bad for Daisy lol)

In silent shock of how amazing Ep 86 is (and then Melanie and Martin look at Hot Waterfall Man)

“who… who is jude perry again”

“DIG DIG DIG”

“i did not expect gym bro horror but my god was it good”

“MIKE!!!!!!” 15 minutes later “mike….”

side-eyes at the Jonah Magnus mention, having been spoiled

“At the very least, he’s admitting to his crimes”

“THE ADMIRAL!”

Did not expect Georgie to have this much backstory

“War x The End best ship”

“long pig 🐷 short pig 🐷 wide pig 🐷 narrow pig 🐷”

“Tim :(”

“Melanie :( go queen. kill Elias”

“jonathan sims world tour!”

“julia and trevor duo in the US is not what we expected but exactly what we deserved”

“i could make a venn diagram of gerard keay, nacht faust, and nico di angelo”

realizes gerry is my new fave

“taking Murder Club too literally but go off”

“Let’s goooo… TIM. DAISY.”

“NIKOLA THEME?”

“TIM NO”

big sigh of relief now that Nikola is gone

“it’s giving recap episode” (Ep 120)

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mikecrewsteacup · 1 year

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The un-addressed hilarity of Gertrude not realizing Eric had quit the Archives before dying. Let's recap how that got mentioned:

Right. So Gertrude was under the impression that Eric Delano was working on statements, presumably either transcription or researching old leads; maybe she even occasionally let them file things for fun before she'd go disorganize them herself later on. And we can assume she didn't actually keep very close tabs on them, so it's even possible if Eric had quit a week prior to his murder, she would have naturally missed it.

But...months?

I present to you the only possible explanation: that Jonah Magnus (who would have been hiding in Wright's body at the time, not Elias' yet) had to be the one frantically trying to keep Gertrude in the dark about it being possible to quit the Archives. After not interfering for the two years Eric Delano spent trying to quit — presumably he underestimated Eric the way he does Martin later on, and just didn't bother checking in on him until OH SHIT I CANT SEE ERIC WHERE DID HE GO — Jonah suddenly had a huge problem on his hands.

So please, imagine Jonah sneaking back into the Archives after dark (or just never leaving at all) and frantically rifling through Eric's desk to do his paperwork. Knowing just enough information about Eric's intended leads to pretend they'd been interviewed and take fake notes (but not TOO fake as to be suspicious! Eric was always a pretty serious and dedicated employee!). Just generally making it appear that an entire employee had not left for MULTIPLE. MONTHS.

I know we discuss how to Jonah this show is a workplace comedy for the first like 4 seasons, but it's implied shenanigans like this that really showcase it for me.

(Also now I can't help but wonder if Jonah is a natural at mimicking handwriting, or if Eric's notes from that period abruptly go from 'neat and tidy but modern cursive' to 'ye olde script, hastily attempting to look modern'.)

#Eric Delano #gertrude robinson #tma #i don't always post meta but when I do you bet it's stupid!!#Jonah Magnus #eric being a straight-laced hard worker who just loves ghosts so much he then married an evil village witch is iconic tbh #So is Jonah getting himself in a pickle bc he forgets to use being literally fucking omniscient and telepathic

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electric-spider · 1 month

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Ace in devildom 4

REWRITTEN, NOT PROOF READ! Check my M!list for previous parts here!

Recap: Plus it's almost dinner time… ok, new plan, dinner, shower, attic. I have a feeling this is going to go downhill… oh well. It's a problem for future me!

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“I'm a human, like you,” Belphegor said. Well, firstly I'm not human and secondly he's lying too. How hard is it to just tell the truth? “You need a pact with lucifer-” “no, I'm not making a pact with him. Plus I don't think he’d agree either way” I say, cutting him off.

I don't need pacts at all to break him out. However, I'm gonna drag this out… just a little… Or I could release him sooner… I don't know… “I'll see what I can do…” I'm not letting him out anytime soon, his vengeance and wrath are concerning.

I teleport back to my room and collapse on my bed. Hm… I'll give him a month, max. Don't wanna disappoint him too much…. Wonder how disappointed the others will be… how disappointed will Belphegor be? Oh well. I'm going to bed.

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I'm awoken by mammon bursting into my room yelling about how beel is gonna eat my food. “I don't care now, get out!” I say into my pillow he huffs and closes my door. I need to get my cats today. Why don't I have school today?.. Right, I slept in… welp, Lucifer is gonna be mad.

I sit up and immediately lay back down. Ugh, I'm tired and I didn't even do anything yet. I get up and open a portal, I walk through it and grab their bowls and food. Luckily it's a one trip thing. The sound of their food was enough temptation to follow me through a portal I guess.

Can't blame them, I would probably do the same. I'm quick to pour their food into their bowls and pour water from my water bottle into their water dish. Ok… all animals secured! Will Lucifer let me keep them? Wait,no, why would I care if he does.

He can't stop me. I sit back down on my bed and get on my D.D.D what does that even stand for? I pull up my playlist which took me FOREVER remake from my human world phone but worth it. I shuffle my playlist, put in my headphones and blast my music, surprisingly not busting my eardrums in the process.

I pull out my sketchbook and a mechanical pencil. I hum to the song as I draw, but my sage decided that my sketchbook looked like the most comfortable place to lay. I sigh as I put my pencil down and pause my music.

“Really, Sage? This was the best spot in the room?” She meows. I sigh as I scratch behind her ears. I swear they know what they're doing. Someone knocks on my door. People actually knock? In this house?

Someone call diavolo! “Come in” oh, it's Satan. Well I'm not too surprised he knocks. He spots my cats and looks like he might cry if he can't pet them. “You can pet them” I say, biting back a laugh, he makes quick work of sitting on my bed and petting Forrest.

“What are their names?” “Sage and Forrest, they were born from the same litter. Not sure if there are more or not but I got them together” I mumble as I take my sketchbook from under Sage and put it on my nightstand. Welp, this isn't how I planned on bonding with Satan but it certainly works.

Despite his calm nature he feels… angry.. well he is the sin of wrath. Makes sense I guess…

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Ugh..... Skipping school wasn't worth that lecture from Lucifer... There's no way I can sleep. I'm fucking exhausted…. Getting less than 10 hours of sleep a week isn't good… on top of a 2 hour lecture from Lucifer. Would Camila care if I just texted her?

At like 3am? Maybe I would have better luck with Elias.

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Are you awake?

If not it's fine i'm just gonna rant then

delete the messages.

I can't sleep so I decided to text you.

i'm bored

My cats are staring at me cause I

Woke them up. Oopsies.

Oh! How are they?

good and when did you wake up?

I've been up but decided not to text

back because of your first message.

Oh. Sorry.

It's fine! You want to call?

No, Lucifer would be mad.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure angel

Ok, just let me know if you change

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your mind love.

Of course my dove

Good night♡

Good night my angel♡

Maybe I should try Camila next? Hm... Oh, speak of the de-...angel...

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Stop texting Elias

how did you know I was?

We're having a sleepover and

he's looking at his phone and blushing

fair enough

Yeah, how are you

been better but not bad

Maybe tomorrow we can call?

Love you but no <3

Understandable. Night Ace

Night camila

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I sigh and put my phone down, maybe if I fake sleep I'll actually fall asleep. I grab my sleeping pills and put two in my mouth and drink some water. That should work.. I hope..

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It didn't work for shit… My head hurts… just another migraine… I sigh as I sit up and start to get ready. I glance over at my pill bottle. Migraine medicine, store bought but pretty strong. The side effects might not be worth the risk..

I read the warning label, do not take sleeping pills, on an empty stomach, after taking adrenaline and so on… could cause nausea, headaches, dizziness, blackouts, and vomiting. I sigh and toss them in my bag. Maybe it will go away on its own.

I walk downstairs and join the others at the table.

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I hesitate before clicking on Elias’s contact, he always manages to make me feel better. Even over texts.

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Hey angel, I miss you

Is everything ok? miss you too <3

just another migraine

I'm sorry love

It's fine, how are cam and cyra?

They're good! Worried about you

they can't help it, stay safe, my angel <3

You too love <3

Read at 6:15am

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“Ohhhh, Ace is in love! Who are you texting?” Asmo's voice snaps me out of my love sick daze. “Is it a succubus? I can be a wingman if you want!” He says. “He's barely been here a week Asmo, it's someone in the human realm” Satan reasons.

I bury my phone in my pocket as Asmo gets up. “Satan's right, plus everyone here is older than me!” I say. “Yeah, he also needs to focus on an extracurricular, we have sports, book clubs, what are you interested in?” Satan asks, putting an arm around me.

It's like he's trying to protect me. “What kind of sports?” “the devildom equivalent of volleyball, basketball, there's also fangol, the sport beel plays” I hum “can you take two sports at once?” He nods “be careful though, devildom sports are more extreme” I nod.

“Which sports?” “Basketball and volleyball” he looks over at Beel. “Can you take Ace to those tryouts?” Beel swallows his food and nods “I'll meet after classes to take you to the gym” I nod. I haven't played in forever but it should still be fun.

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“Ok, turn to the person next to you and review your answers” weird thing to say but whatever. I don't think the person next to me wants to talk to me anyways. “Hey, Ace right?” well damn. I nod “what's your name?” “Kassidy, Kassidy Hart” she smiles.

She is pretty, she has a heart birthmark on her cheek with matching hot pink hearts on her horns. Her eyes are black with purple heart pupils. “Cat got your tongue?” She laughs “sorry, I haven't seen you around before?"

“i got sick” “you're a succubus, right?” She nods “how about I introduce you to my friends after class?” I sigh “sorry but I have tryouts for two sports today..” “It's fine, let me have your number so I can keep in touch,” she says.

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Kassidy is nice, I'm lucky I have at least one friend in this school. Outside of the others. “Ok, you know what a serve is right?” “Yes” “ok, let's start there, serve the ball because coach isn't here. I'm gonna record and send the video to him, ok?” I nod.

I let out an anxious breath and serve the ball. “Good! That was good, let's try some other stuff and go from there” “ok” I just need to keep doing good.

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“You're definitely gonna make the team if you play like that! Basketball tryouts are happening soon so just wait over there and you'll know” he says grabbing his bag. I let out a small sigh, tryouts are shorter than expected but oh well.

I walk over to beel. I also see Barbatos and Diavolo next to him. “What are you guys here for?” “Satan informed us you were trying out for sports with beels supervision and decided to watch as well,'' Diavolo says.

“Have you played before?” I nod “played volleyball but dropped it to learn basketball” he hums “how long did you play for? Throughout middle school?” I shrug “I was homeschooled so I can't really say but yeah, I think” he nods.

“I heard from Asmo someone caught your eye?” I groan “no, I was texting a friend from the human realm and he misunderstood” he laughs “I thought as much, Asmo seems to think you're more than just friends though” I shake my head.

“He's not wrong but he's not right” I don't know what to call my relationship with Elias. Not official is the closest thing I can label on our relationship. The sound of a person walking into the gym catches my attention.

It's Asmo, why is he here? He is quick to put his arms around me. “Hey Ace, after this is over why don't you go out with me?” I can practically hear the lecture from Lucifer already. “Uh… sure and stop telling people someone caught my eye” I sigh.

“i already have someone regardless so-” Asmo quickly interjected “so you are dating the person you were texting?” I groan in response. “I thought they were just a friend?” Diavolo says. Though it sounds more like a question.

“Remind me why I'm talking about this with you guys again?” I say while trying to get out of the vice grip Asmo put me in. “Because you have yet to tell us who this mystery person is and until you do I'm gonna tickle you!” I sigh.

“Firstly I'm not ticklish, second why are you so interested in my love life?” “because you're still young! Until you tell me I'm not gonna let you down” he says hoisting me up. “W-wait! Asmo!! Beel help!” I yell pushing against Asmo's arms.

Luckily beel decided to be nice and got me out of his vice grip. “Ugh… thanks beel…” I pant out, “i'm not telling you anything about my love life, it's not important” I huff, leaning against beel. “I think having a love life is rather important,” Diavolo says.

“That's not what I meant and that's kinda rich coming from you, got a secret, Diavolo? Please, share with the class” he laughs “naturally there are some secrets that must never be spilled” barbatos nods in agreement.

“First, agreeing with him is questionable barbatos, second, I'll find out on my own I guess” I say faking disappointment. “Seeing you try will certainly be entertaining” I nod “I would hate to disappoint so I hope so” he laughs.

The sound of people walking into the gym catches my attention. Basketball tryouts are happening now!

----------

I sigh as I down my third shot of demonus. I get up and search the crowd for Asmo, if we don't get back soon it's gonna be worse than a small lecture. Thankfully it doesn't take long to find him, now the real issue, leaving with him.

Ok, basketball tryouts went well! But now I gotta go somewhere with Asmo. I wonder if it'll be worth it?

---------

I grab his arm and tug him towards the exit “come on Asmo, if we aren't back soon Lucifer is gonna be mad” he whines “fine, but you have to cover next time!” I nod and continue to pull him all the way home. As expected though, Lucifer gives a lecture.

It's unnecessarily long and degrading. He keeps going and going until Asmo's complaining about how he's gonna have sores on his feet and I feel like ripping that metal rod out of his ass and puncturing his skull with it.

I walk back to my room and plop down on my bed. Forrest meows at me as sits next to me while sage takes her spot on my legs. As angry as I feel for some reason tears prick at my eyes. It's not fair. Why did he have to nitpick everything?

As tears stream down my face I think about the fact that I could make a pact with him. The power is at my fingertips… it's not right, but what he did wasn't either. Fuck it… I lay down and sniffle, I hate him. I swear I do.

---------

I groan as I wake up with a pounding headache. Ugh.. What happened? I check my phone and see I have notifications from the chat between Asmo and Lucifer. I sit up and open the chat.

----------

Assmo: have you seen Ace?

Lucifur: no, why?

Assmo: I woke up with a new pact

Lucifur: ah, I believe he is still sleeping

Assmo: I can't disrupt his beauty sleep, he rarely sleeps as it is!

Lucifur: I'll let you know when he wakes up

Assmo: thank you Soo much Lucifer!♡

---------

shit, no, no,no! I was only supposed to make a pact with Lucifer! I pull the covers off of me and rush to my mirror. There, in all its glory, on my right shoulder is a pact mark, Asmo's pact mark. Shit, shit, shit! This isn't what I meant to do! Call down, just call down...

It's ok... I'll say I did it when I was drunk.. I throw on a shirt and make my way down stairs. Just act normal, as normal as I can anyway....

Taglist:

@cuddlybelphie @doomsday-fae @a-crazy-little-goblin

#obey me #obey me oc #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me original character #obey me lucifer #obey me barbatos #obey me mammon #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me luke

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elia-de-silentio · 2 years

Text

THE METAMORPHOSIS OF NOE’ ARCHIVISTE

I have an admission: I never particularly liked the so-called ‘cinnamon rolls’. They’re the pure characters, the goody-two shoes, nice, always loving, who never get angry (tenderly upset at most), want to save everybody, uwu, protectatallcosts … and not much else in the way of personality. They often end up as the blandest in the character cast.

When they’re given some depth, it’s often to show that they’re hypocrites and actually the exact opposite of what they present themselves as, absolute bastards with no redeeming traits; an archetype that often ends up just as stereotyped and flat as the ‘pure’ version.

That’s why, when I find a Cinnamon Roll that’s well and truly good and kind, and at the same time has darker characteristics that make them a multidimensional character, I tend to absolutely love them. This is the case of Noé Archiviste.

Noé starts out as the most straightforward Cinnamon Roll: he’s nice and polite to Amelia, he rushes to adorably stamp himself on the glass when they first get in sight of the city (revealing he had a sheltered, country upbringing in the meanwhile), and when Vanitas ambiguously rushes on the scene, appearently attacking Amelia, he chivalrously runs to defend the distressed damsel. Said damsel ends up using him as a snack, but it’s the thought that matters.

Right after, he saves Vanitas from the fall, with a little aside to muse on the beauty of a moon that most vampires consider a bad omen; something he did even when he was little. Back to Vanitas, he wouldn’t want to help him, initially, because he doesn’t like him, something he says with an utterly candid honesty; but further talking with Amelia and remembering why his elusive Teacher sent him to Paris to begin with change his mind (on helping, not on Vanitas).

But between the Loup Garou and the Bal Masqué arcs, here appears an interesting characteristic of Noé: a tendency to place people into slots. Vanitas, who introduced himself as someone who could save vampires from Malnomen, was promptly labelled as someone who could never fail, as per his own words. When it happened, or at least it happened in the eyes of Noé, and they stumbled upon a cursebearer too far gone to be cured and could only be mercy killed, Noé snapped.

But he himself realized his mistake. Vanitas never promised him anything, it was him who pushed his expectations on the other. He acts as the most stable person in the asylum that is VnC: he goes to Vanitas and apologizes, declaring his interest in actually following and helping him, as a person, not as a savior on a pedestal.

In the Catacombs Arc, he has his first very serious argument with Vanitas. The reason is quite simple: he was lecturing Vanitas on the fact that he was weak and so shouldn’t have exposed himself to danger; this paired with putting himself at risk to protect him. Classical heroic behavior, except that it pisses off Vanitas to no end.

The doctor - who, unknowingly to Noé, is currently fighting against an onslaught of horrible memories and trauma - explodes at him, to the point of calling him slurs, and going on a tirade against ‘people who are strong, but make themselves weak’, meaning those who will sacrifice themselves for the sake of others.

Now, Noé really didn’t expect such a reaction, but if there’s one thing we can say about him, is that he learns. From that moment onward, he never again treats Vanitas like some frail little creature, instead regarding him as an equal. At least explicitly, we’ll get there in a moment.

So, Noé concludes his role in the Catacombs Arc all heroic and ispirational. Next thing he does, is falling headfirst in a very obvious trap Ruthven set up for him. He likely didn’t expect it, not from someone in such a respectable position as a Senator, playing well into the classical naivete of a Cinnamon Roll; but it resulted in a mistake that now puts him under Ruthven’s control, and he doesn’t even know it.

During the Gevaudan Arc, he once again tries to play nice against an enemy: he finds himself in front of Astolfo, a mere fifteen-years-old, but a fifteen-years-old who’s hell-bent on killing him and actually has the means to do so. This wouldn’t mean he would be easily capable to defeat Noé, but our resident Cinnamon Roll is too busy trying not to hurt the kid to put up a proper fight.

The one to set him straight is Vanitas, the one who had previously faced Astolfo by playing absolutely lurid with psychological warfare. He points out that his life is in danger, and in their current situation they can’t allow themselves any weakness: Noé needs to stop having care for child adversaries, and fight at his full capacity. Please set aside this teaching for later.

Admittedly, Noé is kind of on the sidelines for the Gevaudan arc. This isn’t to say that he doesn’t do anything, but still he doesn’t receive the same level of focus as Chloé or Jeanne; this is basically their arc. He mainly reacts to what is going on around him: he expresses shock at Chloé’s appearent decision to side with Naenia, pities Jean-Jacques, runs around trying to protect and save Vanitas. All good, ‘appropriate’ reactions to what’s happening.

And he takes Vani’s advice on how to fight Astolfo very seriously. He finally gives his … most, because at the end of it, the kid is still standing, with most of his wounds due to abusing the Chasseur’s drug.

Then the Amusement Park arc happens. And oh boy, if our Cinnamon Roll isn’t shaken to the core.

First, his childhood friend is placed in danger, bringing the trauma from Louis’ death in the forefront of his mind; then he is forced into a blood-drinking he doesn’t want, by a child of all things; then he finds himself in front of Vanitas, who loses the softer demeanor he has had this recent chapters and reverts back to his cold self, refusing to do anything to save the last friend Noé has. At this point, Misha orders him to fight Vanitas and forcibly drink his blood. And Noé does so.

Look how this ‘cinnamon roll’ is being portrayed right now: a disproportionated mass of fangs that lunges on. That’s the representation of a monster. Vanitas goes from ‘cold and detached’ to 'absolutely terrified' in the span of less than a second. He fights back, but this clash is uneven; the vampire can destroy the whole park with little to no effort, while Vanitas has to inject himself with the Chasseur drug just to avoid him.

What makes the whole situation even more interesting is Johan’s disgusted comment. He observes that Noé is strong, and confident in his strenght; he never really had to do whatever it takes just to stay alive, and that, not some particular moral superiority, is why he can play the benevolent part, the role of the one who won’t stoop to certain lows in a fight.

This allows the weaker Vanitas, who is used to fight tooth and nail to just survive, a margin of advantage; but it’s not definitive, and the situation isn’t truly resolved between the two, it’s resolved by Jeanne.

She ran up to the amusement park, saw the situation, basically undestood everything in a glance and 1) saved Dominique, removing the need for a conflict between Noé and Vanitas; 2) yelled at Noé to take a good look at his opponent, to ‘truly’ look at him. This proved to be vital: suddenly Noé realized the expression of absolute terror Vanitas had, and a split second later he saw his own expression in a mirror - one of absolute fury.

This clashes so much with the idea he has of himself, of who he wants to be, that he stops dead on his tracks and reconsiders the situation. Now lucid, he can get back at reflecting on his misgivings about Vanitas, about what he messed up and what he can do next, and go on to be the sensible, self sacrificing part in the fight.

This endangers his own life by a lot, but in the end, even the brainwashed Vanitas can’t bring himself to kill him, and ultimately collapses from the exaustion of the fight, the drugs and the emotional stress. The situation here is averted, and then Teacher arrives on the scene and distracts everyone with his mysteries.

Then, there is yet another rooftop confrontation between Noé and Vanitas, with a guest star appearence by an heavily bandaged Misha. It’s the first time we see both of our heroes so calm and collected, even talking things out (what’s this heresy?). It’s the scene where Vanitas drops the bomb: if he were to be killed, he would like to be killed by Noé. And our hero says nothing to this; but he leans on Vanitas, wordlessly showing him trust and then he helps him rise up, like he had done in the catacombs.

Now, the reason I find Noé so interesting is in two elements. The first can be expressed via Johan’s comment: Noé’s kindness is due in no small part to his own strength, to his underlying awareness that he is powerful and, should he fail the diplomatic strategy, he would probably win over most dissidents (especially those he already pegged as ‘weak’ like Vanitas) by sheer force. I mean, this is not a very charitable interpretation - it reeks of condescention a mile wide. Noé’s willingness to talk things out wouldn’t be born of (or at least, not entirely) actual respect for others and a love for pacific communication, but from a gracious concession, that can be revoked anytime.

It also gives him a disadvantage: when he thinks that his opponent is weaker (that is, most of the time), he gets concerned about them. He can’t be too rough on them, the poor little things wouldn’t be able to survive his might! And this comes to bite him in the ass because, as pointed out by Johann, when people fight believing that their life is in line, they give everything they’ve got, overpowering someone who’s techincally stronger but holding back.

So, there is this interesting little spin on the Cinnamon Roll who wants to resolve things by talking; it’s not a complete subversion, it’s an exploration on why he behaves like that and why this behaviour might not be inherently ‘pure’.

The second is the constant growth that is demanded of him. I’m used to stories where the Cinnamon Roll archetype starts out pretty much as good as he cana get and spends the plot turning people better by supporting them; at most, they must learn to Not Be So Naive.

The plot of The Case Study of Vanitas is Noé starting out as sheltered, recognizing that he is, and try to improve himself. Noé is constantly analizing his own behavior: he learned not to push his own expectations onto the others, he learned that people can have complex and painful backstories and that he can empathize with them, but he can also recognize their pain and decide that he can’t abide their behavior anyways. He is in the long, awkward process of trying to stop seeing other people as inherently frail and in need of his protection, but also stop seeing them as ‘not a problem, I can shut them up if I really want to’.

Personally, I don’t think that this will be the kind of story where the naive protagonist turns into Gruff Hardass one beating after the other. I think that by the end, Noé will have suffered a lot; he will have experienced even more traumas that those he already has, and get some more things to feel guilty about under his belt. But I don’t think he’ll ever lose his idealism. He might be tempted, but he’ll refuse to lose hope and become like Ruthven, turning into an ispiration for whomever survives of the current cast.

And with this, I think I exhausted this little and fairly pointless rant.

Thanks to anybody who bothered to read my ramblings!

#vnc #vanitas no carte #vanitas no shuki #the case study of vanitas #vnc meta #vnc analysis #vnc noe #vnc vanitas #vnc mikhail #vnc astolfo #elia's recaps #vnc teacher

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