#eldritch farmer

[ejsuperstar]

Imagine you live in pelican town. The new farmer has been here a couple weeks now and seems to be settling in, except... He's picking the weirdest friend choices. Like sure it's not weird to befriend the local fisherman, especially when he has an interest in fishing himself, but you're pretty sure you've seen him rooting through the Saloon's garbage with the local homeless man. As well, he keeps harassing the poor guy who works at Joja even though you KNOW he doesn't want to be friends with him.

And since you're on the topic of weirdness, isn't it odd he seemingly runs everywhere at a full sprint? Or just... Eats entire raw fish while fishing for "energy reasons"...

...

Despite all that, it's too early to call him off putting or anything... He has been engaging in town traditions, and he's started helping out with the old community centre. He's probably like the rest of you. Someone with a few quirks, that will fit in with the valley great!

Surely he can't get any weirder... Right?

#been playing my new sdv save some more recently #i keep thinking about the whole “eldritch” farmer thing #where the famer is just... objectively strange #i fucking love it #i love the idea of the farmer being some sort of higher being #someone who doesnt understand local conventions #someone who doesnt get why its considered weird to eat whole raw fish fresh from the river #or how it might be offputting to greet someone for the first time using their name #but at the same time #this eldritch entity genuinely wants to be a part of the community #they want to learn and they want to love and they want to learn to love #i see minmaxxer/speedrunner eldritch famer a lot #mainly played off for gags #but not genuinely loving their live in the valley eldritch farmer #at least not often #theres so much temptation to write an eldritch farmer x shane fanfic set in spring 1 or some shit lmao #text post #stardew valley #sdv #sdv farmer

[mercury-and-scry]

with the 1.6 update, I revamp my extremely normal and average farmer.

#my art #my ocs #oc: jacob #stardew valley #stardew farmer #stardew fanart #stardew valley fanart #stardew valley farmer #sdv #sdv farmer #sdv fanart #sdv oc #Stardew Valley oc #farmer sdv #she is a forest eldritch monster who's lived near pelican town for the last thousand years and has decided to finally try out this #newfangled “agriculture” trend all the people are raving about #she also wants to wed and bed Shane #dont tell me this is too far fetched when there's a wizard and dwarf in town

[impossible-rat-babies]

a quick dnd sketch of my stardew valley farmer, finn (he/him)

#myart #stardew valley #i haven’t drawn stuff in a long while #oc: finn #he’s just a funny eldritch guy who does farmer stuff

[three-penguins-in-a-trench-coat]

A creature made of literal darkness, armed with eldritch magic and the raw anger of a titan: It's quite touching, you faced all those hardships, braved the dangers of the caverns just so that you could die at my feet. You are no savior. You are not a hero. You are just another foolish human, trying their luck with a god.

Some kid in sweatpants with a garbage lid on their head: sick lines bro I just eradicated your whole civilization with this sharp stick i found

#the farmer canonically fights eldritch creatures on a daily basis #and treats it like it's a normal thing #stardew valley #sdv #stardew #shitpost #stardew farmer

[spidersandtomatos]

Interrupting your usual Kirboposting to post my babygirl Valentine

:)

#Artz #Valentine #Original Character #OC #I really needed to get him out of my system. He is so much fun to draw #Blood cw #Body Horror cw #From farmer to eldritch abomination what a glow up #less of a character ref sheet and more of a illustrated spood ramble

[so-engery]

Night shift doodlin' an eldritch farmer's market.

#eldritch #weird #horror #punk #doodle #page #farmers market #creepy #strange #mood #map #controlled burn #marie enger #dooldle #sketchbook #illustration #comic #concept art

[jazhand]

Post Qi Event (fic)

Words: 1154 Warnings: Needle, blood, aftermath of an arguably terrifying situation.

It had already been a long day—even more so for the lack of patients—and Harvey had spent most of it writing letters.  Maru had gone home hours ago, and Harvey was just about ready to close up for the night.  He signed his name on the bottom of the last letter, put it in its envelope, and—

And then the door slammed open.

“Doc!” Andy’s voice yelled.  

Suddenly far more alert than he had been a moment ago, Harvey looked up, brow furrowing.  Andy rushed through the door, out of breath, holding a young woman at his side with an arm around the back of his neck. 

“It’s Josephine,” he said. “I found her in the forest, thought she mighta passed out from exhaustion, but she didn’t even stir when I tried to wake her up.”

Harvey motioned for Andy to put her on one of the beds, moving to examine her once he did.  He checked the pulse at her wrist—normal, if a little slow—and her breathing was even; no signs of distress or hypoxia.  

“Do you know what happened?” He asked.  

“No, I—I don’t.”

Harvey gave Josephine’s shoulder a firm tap.  “Josephine? Can you hear me?” He said, voice raised.  Nothing.  He squeezed the space above her collarbone.  Still, nothing.  Frowning, he pressed each eye open in turn, shining a light in each one before allowing it to close again.  Equal and reactive.  

Letting out a breath, he put the monitor clip on her finger.  Turning his gaze to the numbers on the screen, he frowned.  

“What’s wrong?” Andy asked.  

Harvey shook his head.  “She’s stable.  A little hypothermic, and her heart rate’s a bit slower than it should be, but…”

He exhaled, then turned to take an IV kit out of the drawer by the bed and start a line in her hand.  

“What’s that for?”

“Fluids, to keep her hydrated and her blood sugar steady,” Harvey answered. “In that linen closet, there’s some blankets.  Could you grab one and hand it to me?”

Andy nodded and walked to the closet, returning a moment later to pass the blanket to Harvey, who laid it over Josephine.

“You reckon she’ll be alright?” He asked.

Harvey paused.  “I don’t know.  Like I said, she’s stable, but…” He rubbed the bridge of his nose.  “Unresponsiveness this severe is…worrying.” He let out a breath.  “You can go home, if you’d like.  I don’t know when she’ll wake up.”

Andy shook his head, pulling up a chair.  “I’ll stay.  Whenever she wakes up, she shouldn’t be alone.”

---

Harvey rubbed his eyes as the doors opened again, and Maru walked in, a cup of coffee in each hand.  “Morning, Doctor,” She said, setting one on the counter for him.  He picked it up.

“Thank you, Maru,” He said.  

She looked at him, eyes narrowing slightly.  “Have you been up all night? She asked, “You look exhausted.”

Harvey nodded.  “We had a patient come in late.”

Maru turned to look towards the beds, brow furrowing.  “Oh…” She said, “Can I see her chart?”

Harvey nodded and handed her the clipboard he was holding.  She took it, mouth moving silently as she read the contents to herself.  “Three?” She pointed to the box labeled ‘GCS’.  “Are you sure?”

Harvey nodded, and Maru’s lips pressed together.  “Okay.  Pupils are good.  Any sign of trauma? Hypoglycemia?”

Harvey shook his head.  

“And her vitals are…they’re fine.” Maru exhaled. 

“She was mildly hypothermic when Andy brought her in, but given that she was found outside in the middle of the night, that’s to be expected.”

“Right, yeah.  It’s just…weird.”

Just as Harvey was about to respond, Andy called, “Doc!”

He looked up at the monitor.  “Heart rate’s up to 130,” he said, quickly setting his coffee on the counter and walking over to the bed.  

By the time he got there, Josephine was sitting up, fully conscious and breathing heavily, oblivious to Andy’s attempts to get her attention.  She lurched, trying to stand up, but the catheter in her hand jerked with the movement and pulled her back.  Shakily, her fingers found where the line entered her hand and yanked hard, prompting a steady trickle of blood from where the line had been.

She moved to stand again, and Harvey put a hand on her shoulder.  “Josephine—”

“Don’t touch me!” She yelled, swatting at his hand and jerking her shoulder away.

He backed off immediately, keeping his hands where she could see them.  “Give her some room,” he told Andy, who seemed like he wanted to grab Josephine by the shoulders and shake the panic out of her.

Slowly, her breathing evened out, and the panicky, tunnel-vision look in her eyes started to fade.  

“Josephine?” Harvey asked.  She looked up at him.  “Do you know where you are?”

“Um, y-yeah, I’m in the clinic,” she answered.

“Good.” Harvey nodded.  “If it's alright with you, I’d like to check a few things, just to be on the safe side.  And Maru can get a bandage on that hand for you.”

Josephine nodded, and Harvey put his stethoscope on, putting the bell to her back.  “Deep breath in,” He said, “Now exhale.”

Maru, meanwhile, took her hand and set it against an arm rest she’d rolled over.  Ripping open a wipe, she said, “This is gonna sting a little bit,” before using it to wipe the back of Josephine’s hand.  She pressed a gauze pad to the cut with her thumb, then replaced her thumb with a piece of tape to keep it in place.  “There.”

“Do you know what season it is?” Harvey asked.

“It’s spring.”

“Good.  What’s the mayor’s name?”

“Lewis.”

Harvey nodded.  “Alright.”  He paused, then, “ Do you remember what happened?”

Josephine nodded and opened her mouth to speak.  “I—I was heading to Marnie’s to see how much a sheep cost, and—”

The monitor gave a loud BEEP, but whatever the cause had been left just as quickly.  She fell silent, raising a hand to her throat as her breath caught.  “And—” she tried again, but again, nothing came out past that.  She looked down, lips pressing together in frustration.  

“That’s alright,” Harvey said.  “You don’t have to say anything before you’re ready.  I understand.” He took a step back.  “Everything seems to be in order, medically, so you’re free to go whenever you’re ready.”

“Here, I’ll walk you home,” Andy added, standing up from his chair and offering his arm to Josephine.  

“I’m fine,” Josephine said, pushing herself to her feet.  

“Alright, well, I’m still gonna walk with ya.  You don’t gotta take my arm though.”

After a moment, Josephine nodded in agreement before heading towards the door.

“Josephine?” Harvey said as she started to push the door open.  She paused to look back at him.  “If you need anything, come find me, alright?”

She nodded and muttered, “Thanks,” before turning to push the door the rest of the way open.

#sve #stardew valley expanded #fic #mr qi is a rat bastard #can we just talk about the eldritch horror of that event #having information you never asked for placed in your lap and then having your ability to do anything about it taken away #farmer josephine

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

End of the year asks 18 and 22

18. A memorable meal this year?

Oooooo, I think one was that I made Mole Verde from scratch with ingredients I had gotten from the farmer's market in the city. It tasted so fresh and to get some of the ingredients I got to drag my family to my favourite Mercado (where I also got some tres leches cake for desert)!

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

I haven't done much traveling so I think this will be related to the previous, in that it was probably going to the farmers market. I really love farmers markets, I don't get the chance to go often so it was a real treat to go. There's always so much amazing produce and baked goods and drinks and food stalls. It was especially nice because I had gotten paid in cash from a wedding I helped do flowers for, so I had cash on hand to buy apples and fresh made tortillas and tomatillos and peppers and fresh lemonade and some kettlecorn for my sister and honey from a local beekeeper and fresh made bread and steamed buns and--

#Eldritch IT Answers #omgkalyppso #sometimes the world is harsh but then sometimes you go to a farmers market and a mercado and ur humanity is restored

[tgassassin2035]

i just had the impulsive thought that feralnette mlb x sdv au would work a little too well. like marinette would be absolutely feral as the farmer. and everyone else would be like the bachelors and bachelorettes. and gabriel would be morris or like pierre or something. all i can imagine is her coming out of the mines with slime goo and shadow essence on her. and walking up to felix and gifting them something.

#ive been read the feralnette au for three hour cant you tell #i cant think of anything else but that rn #mlb #i think of the farmer as a eldritch being most of the time #and it fits her perfectly

[perfectwinnerbananadreamer]

Ok so.. hear me out ok

What if the mysterious stranger(fallout) and the strange man (rdr1+2) were to meet like how would that interaction go because one of them kinda warns of death (maybe is death idk) and one of them is a person who stops death of the player with a one hit kill. Would it just be like a situation where they kinda do a nod??

#well I mean the mysterious stranger is a eldritch guy called farmer #and Strange man is magic #sooo #strange man #rdr2 #fallout #the mysterious stranger #strange man rdr2 #rdr1 #the mysterious stranger fallout

[popconfession]

What if I want to be a vtuber but I don’t want to be a hot anime girl, I want to be cthulhu. Darkness and eyes and unfathomable cosmic horror boiling in the bottom left of your screen as I go about my quest to pickpocket all the Jarls in Skyrim while discussing the merits and failures of the Daedric princes.

#playing monster dating sims and ranking the monsters from casper to eldritch #playing the sims but talking like ant farmer youtubers talk about their ants #skyrim

[king-dra]

RIP to the most insane fucking Luck be a Landlord run i have ever had

#random rambles #holy water + eldritch monster is a hell of a combo #not to mention ms fruit and compost heap and farmer #i nuked my run at the end with devils deal and all the removals id saved up and it literally still wasnt enough i was still gaining money #there was literally no way i couldve lost unless i tediously waited for the rent amount to increment enough #that it could take enough money that i couldn't make it back in 10 turns

[universal-consistant]

what if. i made a milo based off of that eldritch mineshaft i was in

#ooc #tldr i got stuck in a mineshaft where the further i went down the more fucked up the generation became #there was like a fuck ton of floating paths n shit it looked like the world was breaking #wanted to make lore about minera going insane in mineshafts and fucked up eldritch shafts anyway so #the one milo thats not a farmer and hes stuck in a perma cave save him

[three-penguins-in-a-trench-coat]

Some more of my favourite headcanons for Stardew Valley

The farmer has been living there for a few weeks, and the people of Stardew Valley are getting used to their eclectic antics. Vincent and Jas in particular are quite curious about them, after all, who wouldn’t want to know more about the new person in town who doesn’t seem to be capable of going slower than the speed of sound?

The Egg festival rolls around, and Vincent and Jas are incredibly excited. Vincent has decided this will be the year where he finally beats Abigail at the egg hunt, and Jas really likes the look of that straw hat. Vincent notices that the Farmer is eyeing it off as well, very closely...

He rolls up to the farmer and asks if they’ll be joining the egg hunt, and they look down at him, smile and say they will. Perhaps it was something in the smile, or maybe it the fact that this was the first time he noticed the sword strapped to their waist, but he couldn’t help but feel a primal surge of fear rush through him. There was definitely something strange about the farmer. It was almost as if he was staring at one of the monsters Jodi had told him about. The farmer’s eyes shone brightly, too bright to be human, and they turned to walk away.

Vincent was very quiet for the rest of the day, and he didn’t seem to mind too much when the farmer tried on their new stray hat with a giddy grin of excitement. He wasn’t talking too much the next day either, which Jodi was quite worried about, but he was back to normal by the time he made it to the library for tutoring. Well, he was, until the farmer swung by to drop off some relics for the museum, and he couldn’t help but feel that rush of fear again. The artifacts seemed to be covered in some sort of green goo that looked suspiciously like the horrible slimes Penny taught them about, and when the farmer thought no one was looking, quickly flicked some of it out of their hair.

Vincent made a note of it to avoid the farmer from then on.

#stardew valley #stardew headcanon #stardew #stardew vincent #stardew jas #the farmer is an eldritch abomination #writeblr #writers of tumblr #writing

[probablybadrpgideas]

average farmer who accidentally became a warlock after jokingly striking a deal with a REALLY weird guy (patron) at a inn promising them magic in return for finding its lost cat.

doesn't go on adventures, just uses eldritch blast to plow the field quickly.

#submission #character idea #fantasy

[stealingpotatoes]

Just had a thought

Breha and Beru would be the best of friends

omg yes they can bond over raising the chaotic quarter-eldritch entities that are the twins <3 also they're both very kindhearted and always helping ppl you're right they'd get along so well

however I do think that'd be an objectively really funny friendship given Beru is a farmer from the middle of nowhere and Breha is the literal queen of a planet. it'd be the banana scene from arrested development:

#breha organa #beru whitesun #beru lars #thanks for the ask! #star wars #comic