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#eimi-yosei
eimi-yosei · 2 years
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Person A: ... This might be a problem.
Person B: Well that's a feckin understatement if I've ever heard one-
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Person A: “YOU CAN’T STAY HERE! YOU’LL GET TORN APART!”
Person B: “I’ll be fine.”
Person A: “WHAT IF YOU’RE NOT?! WHAT IF THIS WHOLE THING GETS TURNED AROUND AND YOU’RE DEAD AND WE’RE NOT?!”
Person B: “I’ll be fine.”
Person A: “I’M NOT LETTING THAT HAPPEN. I WON’T!”
Person B: “It’s going to be fine. I promise. Just… make sure they’re safe on the other side, okay?”
Submitted by @eimi-yosei 
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Scott: hey, are you okay?
y/n: nO, I'M FREAKING OUT-
Scott: about what?
y/n: eVERYTHING - NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS NORMAL.
Stiles: nothing's "normal" anymore, I thought you would have gotten used to it by now-
y/n: wELL APPARENTLY NOT-
inspo: @eimi-yosei
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feeling-uncomfy · 3 years
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I just wanna thank @eimi-yosei for finding this beautiful photo which will now be my new pfp
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I love you Tokoyami but you're very easy to make fun of-
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: You're adorable-
Person B: No one's ever accused me of that before.
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: ... I don't like them- can I punch them?
Person B: of course-
Person C: IN THE F*CKING RIBS.
Person D: I mean you might get arrested or something but sure-
Person E: ... there's three different kinds of people-
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: Why don't you let people see the good in you?
Person B: ... Because when people see good they expect it. I can't live up to anyone's expectations... not again.
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: We're getting out of here. The [Person B] that I knew would've laughed in your face and beat that guy to a pulp.
Person B: hah-
Person A: So, where are they?
Person B: Dead.
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: I'm surprised that you care for [Person C] so much, considering that you are literally the personification of leaving the toilet seat up.
Person B: What?
Person A: I'm calling you obnoxious and unsanitary.
Person B: You know what? That was pretty good. I'm not even mad.
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: Sweet flapjacks, that was hilarious.
Person B: Really? You told me to eat a syphilitic dick earlier and now you’re saying ‘sweet flapjacks’? Where the hell was that kind of language when you were pissed at me?
Person A: It was probably too busy telling you to eat a syphilitic dick.
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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One Liner Prompt List #2
1. "SEE THIS IS WHY WE DON'T PLAY WITH DEMON FOOD-"
2. "Yes. I have a crush on Danny Devito."
3. "okay leT'S JUST BACK THE FUCK UP BEFORE WE MURDER THE CHILD-"
4. "... WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO PERFORM AN EXORCISM ON A DEAD CHICKEN-"
5. *AGGRESSIVELY SCREAMING AT A BOTTLE*
6. "... why did you aggressively yell DADDYYYYYY~"
7. *whispers from the darkness like a shady bitch cause this is shady bitch club* "... It's Britney bitch."
8. "Sorry, I was spiritually getting my ass handed to me, what up?"
9. "I GOTS THIS PAPER CLIP AND FUCKIN ACRYLIC NAILS, I'M LETHAL✨"
10. "I DON'T NEED LUCK, I'M A FUCKIN COWBOY-" *immediately falls on face*
11. "YES EAT YOUR KIDS."
12. "GO EAT A DICK AND MAYBE YOU'LL GROW ONE-"
13. "This place is scary so I'm going back to crying in a corner."
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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One Liner Prompt List #3
1. "I think everyone's tried to kill me at one point or another- if they haven't I'd be worried."
2. *gets bitten by a magical-ass spider or some shit* "... yo I think I just saw Jesus."
3. "Terrible idea- I recommend it as much as I recommend eating a bull dick marinated in hot sauce. Gordon Ramsay did that, one time."
4. "I'm really sorry I didn't even know it happened until they uPLOADED IT TO PORN HUB-"
5. "HOLDUP I GOTTA SCREAM INTO OBLIVION FOR A HOT MINUTE-"
6. "sTOP BOOPING MY NOSE IT'S MAKING ME FEEL THINGS-"
7. ".... my dick is on google?"
8. "I- [Person B] is always handsome even when they look like a constipated dog."
9. Person A: *avoids the knives being thrown at them with their epic dance moves*
10. "Who knew the way I'd go out was by the hands of Demon Furbys-"
11. "I would say sorry but I'm dying."
12. "... wait how would you know what Swiper sucking your dick feels like-"
13. "BRO YOU'RE A CANNIBAL. A SOAP CANNIBAL."
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: *gets bitten by a magical-ass spider or some crap*
Person A: ... Yo I think I just saw Jesus.
Person B: *FREAKING OUT IN WHATTHEFUCK-*
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: EAT MY DICK YOU BITCH-
Person B: That might be hard considering it'd be the size of a cashew.
Person A: Well hey who doesn't like finger food~? *fuckboy face*
Person C: Wait what about fingering food?
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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Person A: "... Are you okay?"
Person B: No, i'VE NEVER BEEN OKAY-" *starts rapping Doja Cat*
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eimi-yosei · 3 years
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A really concerning convo I overheard in my Double-French Class one time
Boy: So I saw this girl at my bus stop earlier, and when I tell you she was skinny, she was almost too skinny-
Girl: Could you see her bones?
Boy: Well, no- but-
Girl: Well then she wasn't skinny.
Hey @everyone , you don't have to be able to see your bones for my guys/gals/my non-binary pals to like you. You're completely perfect the way you are. If anyone tries to tell you differently, they're wrong. Doesn't matter if they're your parent(s), significant other(s), best friends, a complete stranger- even yourself. If it's negative and isn't helpful, it's not 'advice' worth knowledging.
Plus, if someone only likes you because of how many atoms are in your boy at a specific time, and not who you are as a person, they're cruisin' for a bruisin', mi amigo. Their opinion is worth as much as the pile of dog crap you accidentally stepped on that one time.
Look, I get that it's not the best thing in the world to be extremely overweight, as it most likely will cause problems in the future if it's not causing problems already. But there's a difference between being a healthy weight and literally starving yourself. If you're trying to lose weight, be sensible on which category you're planning on falling into. Stay safe! >:'D
Also, since I know only a maximum of like- six people will see this, I hope that whoever does- thinks about it, I guess? I don't know- I can't control y'all- just- try to catch yourself when you say or think something negative about your weight, appearance, intelligence, self-worthiness, whatever. You are better than no one, and no one is better than you. You're awesome, and no one has the right to deny that.
Signing off for now, Eimi >:D
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