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im-just-here-for-the-drama · 4 years

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LGBTQ Characters in Asian dramas: The Good, The Bad, and The Mediocre: 2019 Edition

No one asked, but here it is-all the gay I saw in 2019!

SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Bad (I’d say don’t waste your time on these, but who am I to tell you what to do?)

Graceful Family: Mo Wan Joon

The Story: Blah blah blah, revenge or something- at a point it’s revealed that Mo Wan Joon is a trans woman.

Should you watch?: If you really like revenge melos maybe, but if you’re looking for this show to do something good and offer up some good trans rep? Nope.

Literally nothing about Mo Wan Joon’s story is watchable. I wasn’t even entirely sure the show even knows what being transgender even means. It comes off as more of a plot twist to put the family all in a tizzy more than anything else. They don’t really show much of Wan Joon’s struggle or anything poignant or engaging.

TharnType

TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault/rape

Country: Thailand

Official Links: https://www.facebook.com/notes/line-tv/tharntypetheseries-line-tvs-official-links-for-international-fans/2525229217761969/

The Story: Type is a homophobe who ends being roommates with the openly gay Tharn.

Should you watch?: No. The good you get isn’t worth sitting through the bad. But if you really can’t help yourself, you’ll have to learn to ignore its problematic elements.

Type was molested as a child, and as a result he hates gay people. He’s clearly still traumatized by his experience. He has nightmares and is triggered by Tharn at least once remembering his assault. Type eventually tells Tharn about his assault and it’s pretty much never brought up again.

Type is shown to be ridiculously homophobic and he equates gay people with pedophiles and is never really corrected in this logic (even though his boyfriend is a whole gay man). Even after Type starts dating Tharn, Type’s homophobia is never really properly put to rest.

For some reason, the writer of TharnType loves incorporating rape/sexual assault into her shows when it’s clearly a sensitive topic she knows next to nothing about. And it’s clear in this show, because the show take the topic way lighter than it should. Because of what happened to Type in his childhood, he believes that gay men like forcing themselves onto others without their consent, and then the show proceeds to have Tharn do exactly that to Type multiple times. Also, thankfully, this happens offscreen, but another character pays several men to gang rape another character and that’s too heavy for a show that clearly wasn’t going to address it properly.

At the beginning of this show, Tharn had a huge issue with knowing what boundaries and consent were, but by the second half, Tharn chilled out and Type stepped up and became ridiculously childish and violent towards Tharn. Clearly these two have no real business being in a relationship with each other if you ask me.

Though there was a lot I hated about this show I did like some of it. I think this writer writes some really nice and sweet scenes between Tharn and Type. Mew and Gulf have great chemistry. I’ve seen plenty of videos of Gulf and Mew together and they are adorable. They work well together and they come off more natural than some other couples, but the way the relationship is handled in TharnType and some of the things that are glossed over in this show leave a bad taste in my mouth.

The Mediocre (These aren’t the best, but they’re watchable.)

Moment at Eighteen: Jung Oh Je

Country: Korea

Official Links: https://www.viki.com/tv/36633c-moment-of-eighteen?q=moment%20of

The Story: Transfer student Jun Woo has no interest in school life, as he is traumatized from being expelled from bullying. Meanwhile, Soo Bin has been watching Jun Woo all this time. She sees a different side to Jun Woo than the one that other people see. Oh Je, is Jun Woo’s best friend who starts to discover his sexuality.

Should you watch?: Hmmm… sure.

Oh Je has a decent side plot. It was interesting to see him figuring out he liked Hwi Young and coming out to his ex girlfried, Da Young and his friends. I do wish his story was expanded a little more though. There were several things I would have liked to have seen, like coming out to his family, and I thought they wrapped his story up a little too quickly at the end.

2moons2

Country: Thailand

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdoEouCtbBvjdNkB5Wl0eYS4V4Zx-1MZY

The Story: Wayo is accepted at the Kantaphat University, in the Faculty of Sciences. Wayo has always been in love with Phana, who studies at the same university. When Wayo has the chance to become the “moon” of his faculty, the two begin to spend time together because Phana himself has been the “moon” of the medical school the previous year and must supervise the freshmen participating in the competition. The two slowly get closer and closer.

Should you watch?: Yeah.

Honestly, it’s not super memorable,and not super impressive, but there’s some cute moments, and an easy storyline. We get to see more of the other two couples (MingKit and ForthBeam) than we saw in the original 2moons. It’s fun and interesting enough. I’ll look forward to the next one.

Theory of Love

Country: Thailand

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVsizYwoQ6B3LsKmcDDMNtHGXnjG88i4C

The Story: Third is a filmology major and a member of the Savage Team along with his best friends Two, Bone, and Khai, but he has a secret. Third has been secretly in love with Khai for years.

For three years he has kept his secret love in his heart, silently supporting and loving Khai while knowing there is absolutely no future between them since Khai is as straight as a streetlight pole and also an absolute player.

To make matters worse, Khai has a “no dating friends” policy. How long can Third love Khai silently while watching Khai bring a different girl home every night? Third has tried to see Khai as just a friend. But has failed time and time again. Because as easy as it is to fall in love, to stop is just as hard. Maybe even harder. But when Third finally decides to stop loving Khai, Khai decides to start loving Third.

Should you watch?: It wasn’t my cup of tea but, yeah.

Who knew one of my most anticipated shows of the year would turn out to be one of the most disappointing? The show spent way too much time on Third crying, wallowing, and letting his friend walk all over him, and not nearly enough time on Khai making a believable turnaround. Khai spent at least half the show being a dick of a friend, to the point that I was unsure as to why Third liked him for so long. Then when Khai started to have feelings for Third, I just thought it happened way too quickly and unbelievably to me. But despite all that there were some cute moments in the end that made all of that kind of okay and kind of worth it. And the side couple was cute.

Dark Blue Kiss

Country: Thailand

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLdoEouCtbBviEVFNHbg7dKw7Lfd8-6zB1

The Story: Kao and Pete being in a blissful romance, have grown closer. But Kao is closeted, and he fears the thought of others finding out. His mother introduces Non, a son of a colleague, to be tutored by Kao. With Non constantly giving off ‘iffy’ vibes towards Kao, it only fuels Pete’s jealousy. Their relationship is put in strain, but through this, they must ultimately overcome each other’s flaws.

Whilst Sun pushes his brother Rain to stay away from Mork, the younger man’s uncontrollable behavior brings him in. As his wildness is intriguing, Sun’s seriousness holds Mork down somewhat. Underneath it all, the two start to care for each other. However, with Mork’s dangerous life, he can’t shake who he is. But maybe he can for someone like Sun.

Should you watch?: If you’re a fan of Pete/Kao or a fan of the typical GMM show.

I wasn’t a huge fan of Pete and Kao from the series they were originally in and this show honestly didn’t really help. Pete and Kao’s relationship is pulled into an annoying direction when an outsider tries to come between the two of them. It’s classic bl tactics and frankly it’s boring and frustrating to watch when it drags on for multiple episodes. I did love Sun and Mork from the beginning, but even the writing for their storyline got annoying towards the end. The huge problem in this series is that none of our leads really communicate with each other. There’s some enjoyable things in this show but it’s ultimately more frustrating than it should be.

Ossan’s Love: In The Sky

Country: Japan

The Story: Haruta, a 35-year-old single man, has to switch careers and he begins a new career as a cabin attendant in Tenku Peach Airlines. Even though he’s clumsy, he seems to be protected by the Great Captain Kurosawa. One day, he finds drawings of himself in a locker and accidentally discovers tries to figure out who drew them. Haruta discovers that not only is the mechanic Shino in love with him, but Captain is secretly in love with him too. Meanwhile, Haruta takes an interest in the co-pilot Naruse.

Should you watch? Yes, but you might be disappointed by the end.

I’m a fan of the original Ossan’s Love and I know what this show usually gives so I expected this show to be silly, ridiculous, fun. And it was for the most part. I always love Haruta. I would literally watch him in any reincarnation of this show and not complain. He’s always a joy to watch and that’s still true here. But this time around, things are a lot more messier than usual. There’s a complicated love triangle, which I hate, but even that was fine because I enjoyed the other characters. My only complaint was how it ended, because I would have preferred him with someone else rather than who he ends up with.

Love with Flaws: Won Suk and Ho Dol

Country: Korea

The Story: Joo Seo Yeon, is a hot-tempered physical education high school teacher who always wears sneakers, jeans and training uniforms. The death of her parents helped instill a deep sense of compassion, a generous heart and an outspoken objection for anyone who drinks and drives. Living in a house with three wild and very attractive brothers, she loathes flower boys. Her ideal type is someone who is “not handsome.” Won Suk is one of her handsome older brothers.

Won Suk has closed his heart to relationships and love, but he lives his life as an openly gay man. Ho Dol is closeted and lacks confidence. They meet one night at Won Suk’s bar.

Should you watch?: People have been kind enough to condense Won Suk’s and Ho Dol’s story into parts on YouTube so yeah, go ahead and check it out.

These two don’t get a whole lot of screen time, but the little they do get is nice. We get to see Won Seok help Ho Dol open up and be more confident with who he is and in turn, Won Seok opens up his heart.

The Good (These are worth the hours of your life you won’t get back.)

History3: Trapped

Country: Taiwan

Official Links: https://www.viki.com/tv/36410c-history-3-trapped?locale=en

The Story: Shao Fei’s police officer mentor and Tang Yi’s gang leader father were killed in a gunshot attack. No one knows why or what really happened. The only survivor, Tang Yi, stepped up and is now the gang leader. Police officer Shao Fei wants to find out what happened that day and he’s sure that Tang Yi’s hiding the truth. Shao Fei decides that the only way to figure out the truth is to investigate Tang Yi to the fullest and Tang Yi just wants Shao Fei to leave him alone since he’s trying to take the gang in a more legitimate direction, but what happens when the two keep crossing paths and ultimately start to fall for each other?

Should you watch?: Absolutely.

I watched this show twice last year and somehow I liked it even better the second time around. The story is fresh-school/university plots get real old real fast (not that I don’t love them though). Instead we get a story about a mob boss and a police officer. The plot is well written, coherent, interesting, and fun, and doesn’t revolve solely around the romance. And speaking of romance, it’s well integrated into the larger plot that focuses on figuring out what happened to Tang Yi’s father and Shao Fei’s mentor years ago. There’s just the right balance between plot and romance. There’s also a second couple that’s super cute. Both couples have great chemistry. What’s not to like?

He’s Coming To Me

Country: Thailand

The Story: After his death, Mes is a ghost that is consumed by loneliness. That is until he meets a strange boy that can see him. The two bond in a state of happiness and joy as they develop into friends. But what happens when Mes falls for the boy who is alive?

Should you watch?: Of course!

This is by far, in my opinion one of the most slept on shows of 2019. Who would have thought things could work out between a ghost and human? I went into this show expecting it to be full of sadness and angst and it really surprised me. Of course it does have those things, Mes is ghost so… but it’s definitely one of the sweetest dramas of the year. The boys forge a strong friendship and bond from the beginning, they’re ridiculously cute, the side characters are enjoyable, the friends are supportive, and there’s an interesting story of Mes and Thun trying to figure out the mystery behind Mes’ death. You should definitely put it on your list to check out.

What Did You Eat Yesterday?

Country: Japan

The Story: Kakei Shiro is a 45 year old lawyer who works at a small law firm. He is a good cook and a meticulous and thrifty person who keeps the monthly food budget to 25,000 yen. Shiro’s daily routine is to leave work on time and head to a discount supermarket nearby. His partner Yabuki Kenji is an affable hairdresser in his 40s. The two of them share a two-bedroom apartment and the finer points of two men living together comes up at the dining table every day. Although two of them have been in a relationship for three years and Kakei’s parents know he is gay, Kakei never shares the fact that he is gay or Kenji is his partner to anyone else.

Should you watch? Definitely.

Very slice of life, very sweet, very heartwarming. We get to see two older gay men navigate their lives and society. We see how Shiro struggles with coming out and being open and we see how he deals with his accepting but ignorant parents. We see Kenji struggle with Shiro’s closed-offness and the strain its puts on their relationship when Shiro refuses to let people know they’re together. Shiro and Kenji interact with other gay couples too, and it’s interesting to see the dynamics between the different couples. It’s a nice change of pace to the shows I’m used to. Also, there’s plenty of food to salivate over.

Hello? Spring Is Coming

Country: Korea

Official Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnyivXs1rWk

The Story: Every coming out is difficult, but most of all, coming out in front of family is the hardest.

Should you watch?: We get way too few shows about wlw. And also they’re way too short, and on that note yes you should watch. It’s sweet.

The Effect

TRIGGER WARNING: Rape, bullying, attempted suicide

Country: Thailand

Official Links (in the comments): https://mydramalist.com/32424-the-effect

The Story: Shin, a shy and reserved 1st-year university student, admires his senior Keng from afar. Keng is tall, handsome, smart and owns the heart of many girls on campus. But what others don’t see is the pressure to be perfect from his family that weighs on Keng’s shoulders. Due to Shin’s clumsiness, he becomes acquainted with the handsome senior. As Keng takes a liking to his junior, jealousy from peers makes the cyber world a breeding ground for hate and nasty rumors. Shin falls victim not only to the strangers online but to Keng as well. Nobody but Shin can overcome the trauma that will be placed upon him. All he needs is for the strangers to listen. Because only then can they understand “the effect” that they have on others.

Should you watch? Heed the trigger warnings, and if you can handle them, then yes.

You know those BL shows where one of the characters is forced or coerced into having sex with their love interest and then falls in love with him at the end? This show is thankfully, not that. I wouldn’t even consider this a BL because, well because it’s not. It’s not a love story. It takes a very very different and serious path that most shows in this genre don’t even come close to. This show did a good job of really showing the effects of social media, bullying, and rape, what they could really do to a person, and the support system one needs after a trauma. At a (way too) short 3 episodes, it was super emotional, mostly realistic, and it really left a memorable impression. There were a few things I wish had been explored and fleshed out more and I wished they’d changed the ending from the novel. I would have preferred something more uplifting, less open ended potential tragedy. But on another note, James as Shin was a stand out here with such an emotionally draining role. I’ll definitely be looking forward to his future projects.

Mood Indigo/Indigo No Kibun

Country: Japan

The Story: The story begins with Shiro Kido’s reunion with a former classmate, Rio Kijima, at a college teacher’s funeral. In the past, when they were students, Kijima used to show talent as a novelist, even earning a big prize. Kido was jealous of Kijima’s success, but after reading his works he became aware of his lack of talent and gave up writing novels and became an editor of erotic novels. However, after reuniting, it became clear to Kido that Kijima was stuck; facing a wall. He had used up all his talent. With Kido also being in a lost state he offers Kijima the opportunity to write pornographic novels.With the intense eroticism and closeness, both men open up and feed into their desire.

Should you watch?: Yeah.

As one of the more erotic shows on this list, It was interesting to see the development between Rio and Kido. Their dynamic certainly isn’t anything romantic,cute, or healthy but still very beautiful, passionate, and raw. I wasn’t a huge fan of this shows predecessor Pornographer, but this one really made me appreciate it from another perspective. It helped me realize why Rio was the way he was and how this relationship impacted his later relationship with Kusami.

Really Lily?

Country: Korea

Official Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=167D6kmuspU

The Story: Are we friends? Or…

Should you watch?: It’s short, sweet, and funny. Absolutely.

Rural Outcasts

Country: Korea

The Story: Sun Hui moves to a small village where she lives her life as Soon Ho until she can make enough money to become her true self. Dong Ja, a feisty 12 year old, breaks into her house one day.

Should you watch? Yes.

Found family always makes for a heartwarming story and this one is no different. I loved the bond between Dong Ja and Sun Hui and I loved their mother daughter relationship. Very sweet and heartwarming, but be prepared for some heartbreak too.

History3: Make Our Days Count

TRIGGER WARNING: Forced kisses, bullying

Country: Taiwan

The Story: At first glance, high schoolers Xiang Hao Ting and Yu Xi Gu appear to be polar opposites: While Hao Ting is an outgoing, hot-headed extravert and some-time bully, Xi Gu prefers to keep a low profile and focus on his schoolwork. They seem bound for totally different futures – the bookish Xi Gu looks destined for academic success, while life is just a long popularity contest for Hao Ting. But a quirk of fate – and a crucial intervention by a female schoolmate – results in the two young men’s paths crossing. But there is more to both young men than first meets the eye. Hao Ting was not always this way. He started out as a perfect student until he discovered the joys of going off the rails. Xi Gu has a reason for being so aloof and studious: His parents died in a traffic accident while he was younger, and he is being fostered by his aunt. As such, he works hard to get good grades in an effort to win a scholarship and ease the financial burden on his relatives. Xi Gu and Hao Ting find themselves drawn together, and passions ignite. The former notices that he has the unique ability to bring Xi Gu out of his shell – and becomes intent on melting his cold-as-ice exterior. What will happen when their two worlds collide? And can love be the catalyst that helps bring these two unlikely students together – as their high school days draw to a close?

Sun Bo Xiang is Hao Ting’s friend who has a crush on a man, Lu Zhi Gang who he meets at the gym. Zhi Gang’s runs the shop that Xi Gu works at part time. When Bo Xiang confesses to Zhi Gang, and tells him that he’ll love hm forever, Zhi Gang doesn’t believe it because Zhi Gang is young and overzealous. Also, nothing lasts forever, or does it?

Should You Watch?: Yes, but it doesn’t end happily so keep that in mind..

Given this show’s predecessors it had some big shoes to fill. I expected this show to be good and honestly, it was. The general consensus is that the ending ruined the entire show. And had I had time to sit on this series-if I had watched it over the weeks, I might have felt the same way. But I watched the entire show in one sitting over the course of a day and I just can’t bring myself to hate it completely. The writing was good, the directing was good, and the acting was so good I think a lot of the show was elevated because of it. This show made me feel so many things. The couples are great with natural chemistry, and the side characters fit so well (there’s never a dull moment with Hao Ting’s friends). I smiled, I laughed, and of course I cried (#heartbroken). I was sad and upset when episode 10 came around. I wasn’t disappointed once the credits rolled because I was still riding the emotional high of the first nine episodes, but after I had time to sit and think about it, the more disappointed and angry I got. Just like grey rainbow and wise prison life- why did you give me everything I ever wanted and then rip it out from under me? But even so, the first nine eps were great. Does it have its flaws? Well obviously, some things in the show are a little iffy (Hao Ting and Sun Bo practice some problematic behavior at the beginning towards their love interests, that’s where the trigger warning comes in) and the last episode is a glaring misstep. Do I wish things had ended differently? I think they absolutely should have. Even this ending would have been satisfactory with some proper execution and build up. Overall this show could have cemented itself as one of my favorite shows if not for the last episode, but I really don’t regret watching it, because when it was good? It was gold.

Out of Breath

Country: Taiwan

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuUQH5CiOw6n9Z0O5ytuQY2EFuvbF_7DX

The Story: Ha Eun has just broken up with her girlfriend when she meets out and proud Min Seo.

Should you watch?: Yes!

It’s a short webseries about coming out and no longer wanting to hide who you are. It’s very sweet and realistic. The ladies are cute and their characters are believable. My only complaint is that I wish the show was longer.

Until We Meet Again

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide

Country: Thailand

Official Links: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCPXE51seODgcGxLQF_X5jzQ/playlists

The Story: Thirty years ago, Korn and Intouch were university students in Bangkok. Intouch entered Korn’s life despite knowing that he was the son of one of the most influential people in Bangkok, the mafia. At first, Korn kept pushing Intouch away, but in the end, he couldn’t resist him. However, in a time where homosexuality was unacceptable and having parents that were against their relationship and each other, Korn and In’s love was bound to be doomed. Amidst the chaos, while Intouch kept on fighting for their future, Korn could not deal with all the suffering his lover was facing and decided to give up. That day, two sounds of a gunshot rang through the air. Their story ended with tragedy, but something had already tied itself between them, bounding them together even after they were dead.

Years later, a freshly returned to Thailand, Pharm who is a freshman in T- University has grown up always feeling like he is waiting for someone. Being riddled with sad dreams that always left him waking up with a wet face, fear of loud noises, and a birthmark on his temple, the boy has always felt like there is someone he is missing. Dean, the third year swimming club’s president at T- University has also spent his life searching for someone whose face he can not remember. The red thread of fate that had tied them together in their past life once again pulls the two boys back to each other, tying them to each other and a past that might not be worth remembering, but a love that is unforgettable. Because the red thread that binds the two hearts together will always lead one back to the other. Even though it might tangle or stretch, it will never break.

Should you watch?: 100% yes.

This show isn’t finished yet, so I’ll just talk about what I’ve seen up to this point. I read a few comments about this show before I watched it and although it was one of the shows I was looking forward to the most, I was skeptical about watching it since the reviews were mixed. Lots of people love it, but there was also an overwhelming about of people saying it was boring and average at best. After watching the 12 episodes that are out, I gotta admit that it’s not perfect. It is a little slow in some parts, some times you feel like you’re watching Thailand’s version of the food network, the director needs to learn when a scene is over, the product placement can be distracting, the kisses are more awkward than I’d like them to be, and that sounds like a lot to be bothered by, but honestly- I love this show. I feel like Until We Meet Again is what happens when a production crew cares more about making a good show rather than making something that fuels the typical bl fan’s fantasies. It has an interesting storyline and it’s well acted. There’s great emotional moments filled with sweetness and sadness. It’s funny and there’s loving and supportive family and friends. A lot of the typical bl drama tropes aren’t involved here. There’s no girlfriends, no portrayals of women as evil incarnate, no cheating, no coercion into sexual activities, or the popular I’m just gay for you crap. I saw on Twitter a while back that someone was asking how they could get bl to branch out-how to reach a larger audience because there’s a lot of people that won’t watch it-this is how you do it.

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milkttea · 4 years

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Sunny Days

Jungkook x Reader, GN!Reader: one shot

:: fluff, ex-friends to slow lovers

:: warnings: none

Edited: 1/2/20

"Look at the bright side of life and the bright side will look at you. The reflections we send out always return." — Ron Baratono

For the Sunny Days, which bring you joy.

Sunny days were your favorite, they reminded you of your childhood. Now, by all means, your childhood wasn't the best, it had its ups and downs as life does, so it wasn't too bad, nor was it wonderful and like how Disney movies portray life.

However, there was one person in your childhood that made your life so much more amazing. You haven't seen him in years, not since his family moved away. It saddened you because you were best friends, platonic soul mates, you did everything together.

Jeon Jungkook, your best friend since diapers and the boy who you loved since middle school. He also is the boy who left you behind and didn't talk to you at all since he moved away. Kind of makes you bitter, but it has been roughly nine years so you kind of let it go. The feelings never really left though, even after one boyfriend and one girlfriend, who are now your closest friends.

People assume it's weird to be friends with your exes, best friends even weirder, but you believe it's only weird if you let it be. You three constantly joke about it, you were young and we're looking for companionship and tried to find that in relationships, but you found it better this way.

This is where you found yourself in your dorm with said best friends.

"I'm just saying, mixing a bunch of bread dough and then baking it would be amazing!"

"Jimin, do you ever sleep?"

"My eyes close when I sneeze, does that count?"

Seulgi deadpans and contemplates her mortality as she looks at Jimin as he continues on his rant about bread. You walk in at this moment as he has both his feet on the wall, upside down, and Seulgi is about to throw her water bottle at him.

"I leave for two minutes to get ice and Seulgi almost murders you Jimin, are you going on your bread rant again?"

Jimin jumps and hugs you, tackle really, onto the floor as he complains how you took too long, he was pretty clingy, but it's cute on him. The ice you went to get rattles violently in the container, thankfully nothing falls out since you closed it tight because you anticipated this. He finally lets you up after Seulgi flicks his ear telling him how you're being suffocated and that ice will melt. She was right, you were laughing so hard it was getting hard to breathe and you hadn't had asthma, even after doing cross country for three years in high school, and you sure as hell were not trying to get it now.

"Sorry about that, oh you'll never guess who I saw when I was going into class," he brushes you off as a little bit of dust was in your hair, mentally making a note to vacuum later. You raise an eyebrow at this, you really couldn't guess, you knew quite a bit of people even if they weren't close friends.

Jimin, realizing you weren't gonna answer, suggestively wiggled his eyebrows.

"Does the name Jungkook ring a bell?"

You screamed.

Seulgi and Jimin both laugh at your panicked expression. Meanwhile, you were having a minor panic session, you didn't want to see him again, even if you missed him! It's been 9 years, he probably doesn't even remember you and that would be even worse. Guess it's time for you to live out your life long dream of being a hermit, oh how the tables have turned in your favor.

"Yes, the name rings a bell," you hissed, "why do I get the feeling you're going to force an interaction between us?"

He smiles innocently, but you know it's anything but that as you hear three knocks on the door. Your eyes widen so much, Seulgi fears they may burst out of their sockets.

"Jimin you didn't."

"Oh didn't I?"

He opens the door, "Jungkook!"

You run away into your room and lock the door, meanwhile, Jungkook looks at where your form used to be in concern and surprise. That doesn't happen often to him, even if he is pretty shy around girls they mainly run towards him not away. Now if you're wondering, is there a possibility that your first love and ex-girlfriend will get together? Seulgi is a raging lesbian and she has a girlfriend, happily together for 4 years. There was no concern there, besides she was about the spring the big question on her and you couldn't wait because their families were both so supportive.

Anyways, you were hiding under your covers as Jimin and Jungkook moved past that brief moment and start talking about whatever it is they started talking about earlier in the day, probably classes. Seulgi, ever the loving friend, opens the door to your room with the key on top of the door frame and drags your ass out of bed, literally dragging you out and bringing you by hand to the living room where both boys were talking about how the homophobes were at their worst again.

"Those sleazy rats are working hard, but I work harder!"

Jungkook laughs at Jimin's declaration, oh how you've missed his laugh. Deciding to be the bigger person, you flick Jimins forehead, gaining Jungkook's attention as you begin apologizing for running away like that, meanwhile, Jimin tries to get up and tackle you but you have your knee on his groin and stomach. It does a pretty good job of preventing him from doing anything.

Jungkook, internally, is screaming because you have aged so finely he is convinced you aren't real. You're very different from the sixth grade you who was too shy to even talk to boys aside from him and looking at you now he would have never guessed this would happen. You stop talking once you realize that he's just staring at you with his mouth slightly open, your face flushes a bit at his stare so you boldly flick his forehead and tell him to shut his mouth before a fly goes in.

"You haven't that much (n/n), still flicking people on the forehead," he rubs his forehead after stating that. You, on the other hand, are the one now with your mouth open, he remembers you? Your shock, however, is quickly replaced with annoyance and anger because he remembers you. All those years and he didn't once try to get into contact with you? What happened to being friends forever, always being there for each other even if you were far away, you weren't mad, no you were livid. That was quickly noticed by him as your expression went from shock to anger and then blank.

Any emotion you felt was immediately muted as you went to the kitchen to get yourself and Seulgi some food, the aforementioned person going with you and you both talking normally. She knows when to not ask about certain things and let you handle your problems and this was one of those times. Jungkook, on the other hand, was very confused as to what he did wrong. He'd never been on the receiving end of your anger and if he remembers you at all, whenever you get that blank look you are pissed beyond recovery. The room began to feel tense after that so he decided to head out and finish his college work, he thanked Jimin who has been silent the entire time that this exchange happened, and left closing the door silently.

You didn't even glance at the door, everything continued as normal after telling off Jimin a little bit, he understood and apologized immediately and the three of you ate ice cream and had a day in for the rest of the day. You all thankfully had a day off from work and had finished your classes already.

Days after the events that unfolded in your dorm, you walked through the hallways of your college in search of another close friend of yours since you'd made plans with him to go out for coffee and study for your shared classes. You walked into his class right as he finished packing and was conversing with another student, their back to you when he noticed you and waved you over.

"(N/n)! Over here!"

The student he was talking to flinched when he heard your nickname, you paid no mind to it though. You instead, chalked it up to Taehyungs loud voice when he yelled you over, the poor person was right in front of him and his booming voice. Once you neared where they both were, Taehyung decided to ask you about his friend.

"Heeyyy," at this you blanked at him, already knowing he would ask you something, "do you think that it'd be alright to bring along my friend and roommate," he gestures to the person in front of him," with us for coffee? He doesn't get the subject very well- ow!"

His friend smacks his arm, you begin laughing at this exchange when you noticed who it is, however, you immediately stopped laughing.

"Come on Kook! Don't just stand there we gotta get going before the lunch rush starts!"

On the walkout, Taehyung and Jungkook conversed about random topics with you walking silently beside them. However, you decided you were being harsh and pretty rude if you were being honest with yourself and that you couldn't hate Jungkook forever. So you decided to begin talking with them both not him directly, but at least contribute and let him know that you didn't completely hate him. You still didn't forgive him though.

Jungkook was ecstatic! Finally, you started talking to him again! Even if it wasn't directed at him, but he would take what he could get. You were his first love, after all, he never had a girlfriend or boyfriend in those nine years that he had been apart from you. He couldn't get over you. It hurt him deeply to not be able to get in contact with you, but he didn't have a phone in sixth grade after he moved and after time he forgot he forgot what your phone number was, or really what your parent's phone number was. Both of your parents were friends, but with the distance that grew between them they weren't as close as before and they weren't able to get together since their schedules made it nearly impossible. It was because of that, that you and Jungkook weren't able to see each other, especially since you were busy and focused solely on your school work and weren't able to spend time with your friends.

Jungkook was so glad he was able to finally move back to your shared hometown, he never forgot about you even after all these years. To be at the receiving end of your anger though? It broke his heart, and if he were honest after the days of not seeing you since being invited by Jimin to your dorm the only thing that he found that could have angered you was him not speaking to you for nine years. What an idiot he was for thinking that you could just be friends again after all this time and that you wouldn't be mad at him, he knows he would have! Once he came to this conclusion he smacked himself in the face, scaring his roommate Taehyung, until he explained why he did so.

That's the reason why the three of you currently sat in your favorite cafe. You drank your (f/d) as Taehyung mumbled about and you quote: "woes of painting with acrylics."

If he were a dog, you could picture his ears drooping as he whined out, "it dries so fast! Not to even get into the fact that it's so hard to blend!"

His pouting, you had to admit, was pretty adorable and you let out a giggle hiding your mouth. Jungkook noticed this and his cheeks flushed so much you would have thought that his face would have exploded. Upon noticing this, you could feel his stare, your face flushed even more than his and you tried to hide it by taking a sip of your drink, failing to hide it you might add.

Taehyung, for as silly as he seemed, was very observant and he remembered his friend and roommate's dilemma, so he stood up, gathered his things, left $10 for the waiter for his food and drink, then came up with an excuse to rush out.

"Loved hanging with you both! But forgot about an appointment I had to water my plants! So gotta do this again but gotta go don't wanna disappoint the plants y' know? Ok bye!"

With that he rushed out so fast you would think he was being chased by a rabid dog. You and Jungkook both just sat there, mouths open because you've never seen Taehyung move that fast before in the four years you've known him. Jungkook awkwardly clears his throat, getting your attention immediately and he nervously smiles as you just stare at him, waiting for him to say something. What you weren't expecting though was:

"I'm sorry."

You were blown back a little from surprise and your eyebrows went up.

"I- what?"

He nervously bit his lip and looked down, took a deep breath, then looked you in the eyes with such raw emotion on his face.

"I'm sorry for not getting in touch with you after I moved or during the years where we didn't see each other. I regret not trying harder to get in touch and not visiting sooner or trying to get my parents to visit. I hate myself for not trying harder to be your friend, your best friend. I meant it when I first met you when I said that we always be friends. I've never forgotten about you, I never will forget about you and I understand you're angry, sad, annoyed at me and that's valid. I would feel like the luckiest guy in the world if you would give me the honor of being your friend."

After his little speech, he was breathing hard having done it in one breath and you were just sitting there shocked with tears in your eyes because this is all you wanted. Of course, you were mad at him, you were sad and annoyed, but the sadness is what stayed all these years and to hear the man you love- you're best friend apologizes for his mistake really melted your heart and you almost forgave him on the spot, but you had something to say too.

"I'm sorry too, Jungkook. But… do you know how hard it was to not have my best friend there at all to help me when I needed you the most? It hurt so damn much, I'm glad that I had Seulgi, Jimin, and Taehyung there when you weren't. Even so, I should have tried harder to get in touch too and there is no way that I could say sorry for not trying and I hope you would find it in your heart to forgive me. I forgive you and I would also love to have the honor of being your friend again. Your best friend, again."

With both your confessions and apologies out in the open, there was a moment of silence as you both realized you could never really be mad at each other. Both of you paid for your meals, gathered your belongings and left the cafe into the sunny outside. You spent the rest of the day catching up on what had happened in each of your lives for the past nine years.

"No way! There's is no way you broke Namjoon's nose while playing Wii sports!"

Jungkook laughs at your flabbergasted face and laughs such a boisterous laugh that his head tilts back and he lets out such a beautiful laugh you could live in it forever and grins so wide his face might split.

"I swear on my mom's cooking! I'm surprised he didn't kick me out if the house! He said that it was karma for him breaking my phone in my sophomore year in high school!"

As you both continued walking, his hand slipped into yours which caught you by surprise. All you did though was entwine your fingers with his and continue walking back to the dorms.

The sun shined a little brighter that day and as you both went your respective ways to your dorms after a long day, there was only one thought in both of your heads as you went to bed.

'I love Sunny Days.'

#bangtan #bts fic #jungkook #jungkook x reader #fan fiction #bts jungkook #bts fanfic #bts

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sureuncertainty · 4 years

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The Silence Agenda: A reference post

revised/updated 2/7/20

(this is an updated version of the old post, I had to make a new one because it wasn’t letting me edit, but much of it is changed anyway)

WHAT IS THIS THING YOU’RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT, WIN???

Well, it’s my original novel, The Silence Agenda, that’s completely taken over this blog to the point of me considering changing my url (don’t worry I won’t, I’m not planning on changing it anytime soon), and I figured it’d be good to have relevant info in one place for anyone interested in learning about it or about the characters!

Plot Synopsis: A trained assassin and Stressed(tm) grad student room together in a tiny apartment to make rent easier. (oh my god they were roommates)The book centers around their relationship, growing from not quite enemies, but more like annoyances, to unlikely friends, and eventually of course, to lovers, because I’m predictable like that.

Nyx (they/them)-

Nyx is the trained assassin half of the story. They’re 24 years old, genderfluid and use they/them pronouns, and they’re also intersex and identify as queer!

They’re also ISTJ and an 8w9. They’re not really a people person, as they learned a lonnnng time ago not to trust others, and have a very hard time communicating and also showing or feeling any emotions at all.

They had a rough life, grew up poor, were kicked out of their house when they were 17 by a homophobic/transphobic single mother, and ended up homeless for two years before they joined

The Silence Agenda, the name of the organization of assassins that Nyx is a part of. Their mission is basically to take out people that other people want dead. Technically, they’re hitmen, not assassins. The Boss is the highest up in the organization, and has no name other than The Boss. I have no drawings of him. Other Silence Agenda agents include:

Iris (she/her)-

Nyx’s ex girlfriend, and recruiter of them to the silence agenda. She also saved their life. She’s impulsive, somewhat irrational, somewhat crazy, and also drop dead gorgeous so Nyx was wildly in love with her. She sacrificed herself to keep them alive, and they’ve never stopped blaming themself for that. Partially because of

Kat (she/her)-

Another silence agenda agent, an extremely petty, jealous bitch who also happens to be the main antagonist of the story. Always jealous of Nyx because of Iris’s “favoritism”, she holds a deep grudge against them, and also manipulated them into thinking that Iris’s death was their fault, even though it wasn’t. She comes from a rich family, and grew up somewhat abandoned by her parents, and with some violent tendencies. Her parents were killed by Silence Agents when she was 20 years old, and she proceeded to then join Silence Agenda to become a ruthless killer. Power hungry, manipulative, and obsessive, wants nothing more than to take over the Silence Agenda herself one day

And that’s pretty much it for backstory, Silence Agenda related things. Which is only HALF of the story I’m telling. The other half involves my wonderful boi

Avery Sharpe (they/them)-

A 23 year old grad student studying history with a deep love of all things Irish. They’re agender, bisexual, and demisexual! They have green hair that they dye lavender halfway through the story (hence different hair colors when I draw them). They also have emetophobia, social anxiety, and ADHD.

They work two separate jobs, at Starbucks, and the campus library in order to afford to live, as they were disowned by their conservative Christian parents their junior year of college, They’re very passionate and feel things a lot, and are also incredibly messy, which drives Nyx up the wall.

Sam (he/him)-

Avery’s only real other friend at the time of the story’s writing, one of their coworkers at Starbucks. A Friend and Boy. Highly supportive, encouraging, and the Ultimate Wingman of Nyx and Avery’s relationship. Gay and in a long term committed relationship with his boyfriend, Carlos.

The only other important character has no illustrations, but his name is Derek Bernard, and he’s Nyx’s target, who works at Avery’s university as does Nyx undercover. He’s the head of the department of economics and he sucks.

If you made it here, thank you so much for reading! As for the story itself, I have it in both novel and SCREENPLAY form, thanks to my beautiful and incredible girlfriend @drama-dick who you should check out bc she also writes amazing poetry! If you’re interested in reading, DM me! I have individual tags for each of the characters, as well as a main tag for my story, The Silence Agenda (https://sureuncertainty.tumblr.com/tagged/the-silence-agenda), if you’d like to check it out. I am planning on attempting to self publish, and will be posting more details about that as it comes out.

Feel free, as always to DM me or send me asks with questions for, or about my characters! AND AND AND if you ever want to literally make my entire day, draw art of any of my OCs for me to love you forever!! I already love you forever for reading this!

#the silence agenda #my writing #reference #my art #my characters #yoooooo remade this!#reblogs are appreciated #i'm gonna try and reblog this more periodiically

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diminuel · 6 years

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Reading List: April

I missed archiving fics I read in March, but I’m back for April. Some of the fics I might have read in March. I’m still not very good at keeping track of what I read when! But the important part is that you get some fics to read! ;D

I’ve added the archive warnings in the brackets in case there were any, but didn’t include the tags. So make sure to read them.

Enjoy! ♥

bring it on home by xylodemon (2.4k)

"She ─" Sam grimaces again. "She likes tea, right?"

Dean hesitates. He pictures their old kitchen in Lawrence ─ the floral wallpaper, the walnut cabinets, the pots and pans hanging on hooks. Sheer, white curtains had hung in the windows, and Mary had left them open because she'd liked plenty of sunlight. It had smelled like coffee in the mornings. Dean had always lined his army men up on the table before eating his Cheerios.

"I don't know," he admits. "She ─ maybe."

Soft and gentle, but also slightly melancholy coda fic for 12x02

The One: Supernatural Edition by motorbike_on_the_avenue (73k)

The One is America's #1 dating show!

Twenty contestants will spend six weeks competing in tasks, to show the American public they should be picked to marry the suitor. Over the six weeks, they'll be voted down till just The One remains...

Dean Winchester is this year's suitor. A 34 year old firefighter from Kansas he isn't entirely sure why he applied to a dating show where he has to get married at the end.

Especially since he'll never have met (or seen) anything about his future lawfully wedded whatever.

But just who will be voted The One?

This is such an enjoyable fic! Dean and Cas don’t even meet each other until the very end, but the premise is so captivating and I constantly was nervous and rooting for my faves *lol*

Kitchen Overhaul by Powerfulweak (Explicit, 20k)

For Dean Winchester, his family’s bakery is his life, even if business is tanking. When his brother volunteers them for the reality show “Kitchen Overhaul”, Dean is less than enthusiastic with changing anything about his beloved bakery. He is even less enthusiastic to deal with the infamously icy host, Chef Castiel Novak.

Just like the previous fic on the list, this fic also has a TV show format as the premise of its story, but it’s more in the background. I loved this a lot! I got frustrated because of Dean, then because of Cas, but it’s all very rewarding!

Peak Homosexual by K_K_TiBal (3.7k)

You know that thing that happens where you hear something really homophobic in public so you gay it up as much as you can? This is that story.

Cute, pretend relationship fic! ♥

Neighborly Behavior by Annie D (scaramouche) (1.8k)

Cas and Dean at a neighborhood potluck, in an AU where they're both kinda assholes.

It’s hilarious and always good for a re-read!

Dean's Table by through_shadows_falling (4.9k)

On Castiel’s first day waiting tables at the Roadhouse Diner, his co-worker tells him to save a spot for Dean, a young veteran with a cane who sits in the same corner booth every day. Dean doesn’t talk, but Castiel’s charm soon works its magic until Dean reveals that he’s there to reconnect with his brother after a painful falling out. Castiel hopes Dean will succeed, even as Castiel's roommate, Sam, visits the diner one morning.

Lovely story about Cas easing Dean out of his lonely shell. And it also includes a happy reunion.

The Glen by Annie D (scaramouche) (3.2k, Explicit)

Dean's run out of excuses to not claim Cas, so he finally does. Better late than never, right?

This is actually set after a previous story, which focuses on Sam and Kevin. It might be slightly confusing without the previous part but I think still an interesting read, especially with the following part!

The Shop on the Corner by CasCase (18.6k, Mature)

Two years ago Castiel left behind his job and his past to fulfill his dream of opening a neighborhood bookshop. Now, his shop is popular and he’s finding himself fitting in with his new community. He’s perfectly happy with his quiet life among the books.

Perhaps the only thing that could make it absolutely perfect would be the attentions of Dean-the-Delivery-Guy. But, of course that means Castiel will have to work beyond his own insecurities to find a way to see the gorgeous man more than once a week.

Maybe he should stick to the books after all.

This was fun and lovely and even though there’s a bit of angst and pining involved, Dean’s gentle patience were lovely!

In Someone Else's Life by blue_morning (4.5k)

Cas never believed in love at first sight, but when he accidentally crashes a wedding trying to keep his brother out of trouble, it happens to him. Happy ending, right? Yeah, except that the man he falls for just happens to be the groom.

Light-hearted misunderstandings (mostly Gabriel’s fault) and an absolutely hilarious ending!

The Return Policy by aileenrose (12.9k, Explicit)

"Most of his visitors are academics. They come from universities all over the nation, sometimes beyond. Others write books. The man in the Reading Room today is neither. He’s a tall, irritated man with a federal badge."

The federal agent's partner is usually the one who does the research. And even though Cas doesn't think this man is a real federal agent, he's happy to help where he can.

A great read, close to canon, with lovely atmosphere!

Do You Need a Stepdad? by supernatural9917 (1.8k)

When Claire Novak tweets a picture of her dad cooking, she didn't expect to go viral, or for everyone to be quite so hot for her dad.

Based on a photo prompt: Teenager Claire posts a snarky tweet about her single dad Cas, and gets this response. She says ‘LOL no he’s gay’ so Dean tweets to ask if she needs a stepdad!

It might be short but it’s incredibly delightful!

How to Keep Time by aileenrose (6.6k, Mature)

Dean's just beginning to learn that some times are more precious than others.

Very touching fic, featuring homeless Cas making beautiful things and Dean having to (re) learn what’s truly valuable.

The Neighboring Perspective by aileenrose (12.7k, Mature)

Dean's newly single, in a new house, and a brand-new father to boot.

Dean's also got this weird thing where some stranger is leaving baby clothes on his porch at night.

A very lovely fic with Cas breaking my heart with his softness and his sadness...! ;w;

Best You Ever Ate by darkforetold (1.7k, Explicit)

Cas sucks—under a table at Ma's Diner.

A PWP! :D

For Science by shiphitsthefan (6.1k, Explicit)

“Think of it like an experiment," says Dean. "You’re testing a hypothesis as to whether or not a desirable response can be achieved through the stimulation of the anus via the application of a willing volunteer’s muscular hydrostat.”

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Are you actually trying to use the scientific method to talk me into letting you lick my asshole?”

It might sound like a cracky PWP, but it’s not! It features ace!Cas and Dean figuring out their sexual relationship. It’s sweet and funny~

Remarkable by shiphitsthefan (3.7k)

It’s only Castiel’s first day as a teacher at All City Elementary in Sioux Falls, and he’s already been warned by four teachers, the guidance counselor, the principal, and the librarian to watch out for Ben Braeden’s father. Unluckily for Castiel, Dean turns out to be just as “helpful” as everyone’s said, bringing in stacks of literature and just as many ideas for how Mr. Milton can encourage his students to be more socially conscious. Castiel dismisses him every time with hardly a second thought.

When Ben brings in his Patriot Day essay assignment, Mr. Milton can't help but change his mind.

I love how passionate and insistent Dean is about social issues. And the way the other teachers speak about Dean makes me sad, but at least Cas makes an effort and the whole fic is very sweet and uplifting!

Made Manifest by schmerzerling

Wherein Castiel defied God for Dean before Dean even knew his name.

I was craving trans!Dean fic and this was recommended to me. It’s really good, focusing on Dean up until Cas pulls him out of hell and recongizes Dean for who he is. Dean, not Deanna.

Low Battery Blues by destielonfire (4k)

Wherein a dead phone battery ruins an otherwise perfectly good and well-intended joke and causes Cas to think Dean broke up with him.

Misunderstanding with a happy ending!

Parent's Weekend by Piper_Halliwell1979 (1.7k)

Claire needs a "dad" to come meet one of her professors during Parent's Weekend at college. She can't get hold of Cas so Dean steps up to help her out. Turns out Claire wouldn't mind if she had two dads.

Dean and Cas both pretend to be Claire’s dads!

This Is Gonna Have Consequences, Kid by omgbubblesomg (Explicit, 3.6k)

Modern AU. Dean is looking for someone to spend the night and Cas is working the streets

PWP with sex worker Cas, featuring younger!Cas and older!Dean.

The Ritual by HazelDomain (Explicit, 9.6k // non-con cw)

The Winchesters were used to being outnumbered. They weren’t too worried about taking on humans, numerous though they may be. It was the ritual’s mystery guest that concerned them.

Their intel wasn’t good. They knew the cultists needed the participation of some incredibly powerful being in order to complete the summoning. “Powerful” and “being” were both very loosely translated, as was “participation.”

I was on a hurt!Cas kick and this story has plenty of it. Cas was abducted by a cult and then found by the Winchesters once it’s been mostly completed. See the archive warnings (graphic violence and rape) and further tags!

Finding Courage by DarkHeartInTheSky (26.3k)

By allowing Lucifer to use him as a vessel, Castiel helped eliminate the Darkness and saved the World. But it may have been at the cost of Sam and Dean's friendship. Deciding he has nothing to live for without that, Castiel plans to end his life on his terms and be at peace---if only a certain ghost of an archangel would leave him alone. Meanwhile, Dean needs to learn to use his words.

A Supernatural "It"s A Wonderful Life" AU

More hurt Cas. Dean reacts very negatively once Cas is free of his possession, sending him away. As a consequence Cas tries to commit suicide and is given the chance to either die or return to life once more. It takes a while to convince him that he hasn’t lost everything. It’s sad but it has a good ending.

Specimen Two Eighty Five by HazelDomain (Explicit, 8k // non-con cw)

Prompt: Cas gets taken prisoner by the MOL or some other people. They lump angels in with all the other supernatural creatures, and believe they’re little better than animals. They keep Cas restrained and burn or tattoo warding on him. They talk about him like he can’t understand them. They strip him, examine him, make him manifest his wings. He can’t escape, and every day brings new mistreatment and misery.

Hurt!Cas and tortured Cas seems to be the theme of my reading at the end of April. What I particularly like about this is the non-linear narration!

Womb Kindred by Annie D (scaramouche) (Explicit, 33k)

It was probably too much to hope for that Castiel's once-betrothed, Dean of Winchester, never found out that they had a child together.

I adore this fic and the last chapter was recently posted. So it’s on my to re-read list! It’s got a very interesting setting and there’s constant tension between all the characters. Cas has been hurt in the past and while he is fierce in guarding Claire, there’s a sad resignation about him. And about Dean as well. They’re pretty much walking on eggshells around each other all the time and then they get flung into troubles which readjusts their relationship. While it has a good ending, it’s clear that it’s not a perfect happy ever after.

Pining Sickness; Or, Murder With One Stone by athaclena, iraeim (Explicit, 57.8k)

New York, 1895. The rigid customs of the old century are beginning to fall away, allowing access to the professions for more people than just Omega men and Alpha women. Dean Winchester, the city’s first Alpha male Detective, uncovers evidence that a mysterious new illness killing mated couples might have its origins is the criminal rather than the medical.

Castiel Novak is a respectable Omega doctor who has started to see patients dying cruelly of something he cannot cure or even effectively treat. Approached by the Detective to once again give his medical expertise, he is eager to work towards finding a cause and, he hopes, a cure for the unfortunate sufferers. But both men harbour a secret attraction towards the other, and the quest for the truth will stretch their relationship beyond its limits.

A historical murder mystery set against a backdrop of a non-traditional Omegaverse.

I absolutely adored this fic! It’s got a historical setting and a very interesting world building which, as the summary advertises, features a non-traditional distribution of roles, with omega men at the top of society. The case itself is interesting and you just get a massive dose of pining between Dean and Cas, but it’s a quiet, resigned kind of pining, that really pulls at your heart.

Take On Me by Powerfulweak (Explicit, 46.4k)

Alpha Dean Winchester figured the closest he’d get to the apple pie life and fatherhood was a one-shot, “wham-bam-thank-you-mam” trip to a sperm bank. That is, until he comes face-to-face with the omega carrying his pup on a fateful trip to the grocery store. When the the omega runs off without a word, though, Dean learns the situation is far more complicated than he expected. Can an anonymous sperm donation and the favor of a lifetime help two complete strangers find everything their life was missing?

A fic with an unusual premise that just promises a “it’s complicated” kind of situation! There’s plenty of very intriguing angst, but there is a fluffy happy ending!

Marry Him by ProLazy (2.9k)

Jimmy is sick and asks Castiel to do him a favour. This results in Dean mistaking Cas for Jimmy and explaining that he wants to marry Cas.

A cute sort of mistaken identity fic!

Left Behind by Aini_NuFire (6.6k)

Sam and Dean saved Lucifer from Amara. They just assumed that meant they’d saved Cas too…

(Author needs to vent some angst, but there’s still a happy ending)

That last part of the summary pretty much describes this fic. It’s a gen fic, addressing the fact that Cas often gets forgotten or left behind, especially in this whole Lucifer and Chuck fiasco. ;w;

Captured by bobertsmallismydad (6.2k)

On a day when he is taking a break from Heaven Castiel is captured by the order of the Royal Court aka King "Dickbag" John Winchester. He is forced into servitude as a . . . nanny?

This has a very interesting premise! An enslaved angel having to work as a nanny? Great! Castiel is captured by king John (a douchebag) and tasked to watch over Dean, which he does, over the years. Until Dean himself becomes king.

Choice and Precious Vessels by justabrain (11.2k)

In a world where angels wear collars to suppress their powers and are subservient to humans, a young Castiel finds himself serving a family with two young boys, Sam and Dean. He soon befriends the older of the two, yet all good things must come to an end.

Another gen, Cas whump one. It’s a sad story in which angels are slaves and even though Castiel’s situation improved when he is being bought by the Winchester family, Cas still isn’t treated with dignity. And while the story promises a happy ending and it does have a happy ending, my soul wasn’t quite soothed. ;w; All the damage had been done and nobody makes reparations for it. But despite the sadness I do think it’s a great read!

the worst week of dean's life by jhoom (1.7k)

Dean’s son is driving him crazy.

Super cute, poor Dean is so frustrated because he can’t get his son to call him dada.

Moonlit Sky by hollyblue2 (1.1k)

They'd been busy on their actual anniversary, so Dean decides to make it up to Castiel.

A soft and fluffy story, good for the heart!

Dean's Carol by BurningTea (17.9k)

Dean has learned that a hunter can't have close friends or loved ones, not without being ready to lose them, so he decides it's safer for Cas not to be around.

Can the traditional visits from three ghosts change his mind?

Dean has to learn an important lesson! I love how it takes the story of the christmas carol and putting it into a canon compliant universe, where Dean is aware of what’s happening because he knows the story.

#Supernatural #Destiel #reading list #fic rec

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skinwalker-casestudy · 2 years

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Working list of weird shit this girl has done specifically pertaining to the skinwalking (to be expanded upon further as time goes on, if I have proof or stories I'll make a post for it like idk this is basically a checklist) she does lots of other stupid qnd awful things but this is specifically related to wearing my skin in some fashion:

> shortly after I decided to cut my bangs she started talking about how badly she wanted bangs 24/7 and begged me to cut hers, because she "didn't have money to get them cut professionally and didn't know how to do it herself" when I asked her how she wanted them cut she said "just do them like yours". Stopped having bangs after I started refusing to cut them and she couldn't get them to look like mine on her own.

> pretended to like all the music I like when we swapped music, most notably claimed to be obsessed with mitski (this was before she blew up so it wasn't a trend thing) and punk music (which I could tell she fucking hated but every time I was like lol its not for everybody she was like no no no I love punk music :^) no.. I don't know any bands. Not even like the dead Kennedys or bikini kill or whatever)

> loves to bring up being bi even though she is really fucking homophobic (that's a whole thing) and also says she would never date a woman. Idk if she does this because of me honestly but she does this almost every time I mention being bisexual on qny context and it makes me feel weird so

> tried to pretend to have much deeper knowledge of computers than she really does because I am working/studying in q tech field. Like blatantly misusing terms and stuff to try to "help" me idk but embarrassing

> every time I find an indie artist and purchase prints and stickers from them she will start buying stuff from that artist. If I buy non-limited edition items from that artist she will often buy the same stickers/prints to the point with one's "we both liked" I started waiting for her to place orders before I made mine. I have avoided putting limited edition prints up in my apartment until after they sold out so that she wouldn't buy the same ones.

> I used to be a lot more into makeup and she pretended she was too. Bought her some brushes and stuff for a gift that she never uses, but "asks" (waits around until I do it and refuses to do it herself dropping hints the whole time I get ready) me to do her makeup whenever we go out

> begged me how to do that inner corner type of liner until I finally did it (again this was before that style really blew up and was everywhere) because I had been wearing it everytime we went out, she started doing it all the time which is uh as you can tell normal lmao but then declared jt her "signature look" several months later lol

> has bought at least several EXPENSIVE articles of clothing specifically because I owned them. As in asked me where I got something and got the same thing down to the style and colour. I tried hiding clothes from her but it's harder lol qnd she will literally go into debt or sell shit to buy these items. I'll try to find specifics later. Most of her "favourite brands" are MY favourite brands that I've been buying from for years. Literally has bought items she later admits she does not like because of this and never wears

> while we're on that subject, completely changed her style shortly after we started being friends. Went from urban outfitters/forever 21 ripped skinny jeans and cropped tops to... basically edgy "egirl" stuff. This is kind of stolen (literally as in robbed LOL) from her ex roommate too

> decided she wanted to thrift all the time and sell on depop because j said I was gonna start doing it, for some reason thought I was gonna sell the stuff for her and give her all the money? Idk.

> took a pair of Dr martens 90s no longer produced boots from me (I offered them to her before I knew she was insane because they were not my size and she swore she would wear them) and stuck them in a fucking storage unit so I'm still trying to weasel my way into getting those back. I have a pair I bought in my size I won't wear out because then I know she'll dig those little shits out of her storage until qnd make them another one of her "signature looks"

> has copied multiple of my Instagram stories/posts. Like just posted extremely similar pictures days/weeks after I posted mine.

> copies the uncommon emojis I use, literally put them in her instagram bio. Like the :^) and ♡ which she definitely picked up from me

> organized her instagram stories by year which I do. I know this isn't uncommon but like she did it right after copying q post I made and adding the emojis to her bio... lol so

> started using trippy kaleidoscope/colorful filters shortly after I did (nobody in her circle uses those qnd she sure didn't before I did because the ones I use don't make you look like a stupid fucking Bratz baby and that's the kind she usually loves)

>you can see her insta colour story go from grey/purple to colorful and it's a few months/weeks I made those changes in the filters j would use. She posts more than me so this isn't that obvious but yeah

> literally after I got my job and apartment she said a bunch of shit like "just give me six months I'll be right there with you" which first of all is not how you congratulate someone

> started going to local music venues shortly after I did. Was pissy j didn't invite her like literally brought it up because she saw me post about it(because j wanted to go alone). Tied to some post she made (mine was a story of me in a shirt I got at a show with black shorts and a belt and a specific pose/framing and hers was the same posted like a month or so later)

> oh yeah she claimed to hate the holidays when I was talking to her about how AWFUL they make me feel once but she posts constantly about being with family and shit. Idk she does this with a lot of things.

> such as body image issues lol I told her I didn't like that j gained weight in the hope she would stop commenting on my body like "oh I wish I had your thighs/ass" because that makes me uncomfortable and she was like omg me too I have horrible body dysmophia but like imo (qnd I do know this from experience) she does everything she can to stay skinny and loves to point out when things are tight on me and loose on her etc. Girlie literally won't treat her hyperthyroidism which... if you wanted it to be easier to gain weight isn't that the first thing you'd do? Hm. Brags about skipping meals etc. Anyway yeah lots of "I wish I had your body" while also making xomments about me being bigger than her or remarking on how much I ate even.

> oh!!! On the eating thing. After I told her I didn't like how I had gained weight. Whenever we would go out to eat she would stop about halfway and then INSIST j take the rest of her food. Not "you can have jt if you want" no more like "take it :^) please" and pushing it towards me SEVERAL times after I repeatedly declined before I would give in because I wanted her to stop. Really fucking weird.

> family issues in general. Pretended to be "basically qn orphan" like I literally am but like I said in the holiday post she visits them regularly and even had a family member literally paying for all of her living expenses for like a year (while she spent her paychecks buying clothes I had or said I wanted to get)

> started using the exact same shampoo and conditioner from lush as I did. Literally switched products.

> the fuxking legwarmers lol!!! I wore them out a couple times and she kept pestering me about them until I told her I just got some cheap ones off aliexpress to try them out and she got the SAME ones weeks later, I'm pretty sure she claimed this was another one of her "signature" looks too

> I wore Misa Misa pigtails out once qnd she wore them several times immediately after. Done this with a few hairstyles like high ponies or like the big scrunchies I wear.

> in pictures she would frequently try to copy the poses j would do. Also we would get in arguments about her taking pictures or videos of me without permission or after I specifically asked her to not. Literally admitted once that she was trying to get a bad photo of me and paraded it around the rest of the night because j accidentally took a Polaroid of her early lol

> has a lot of photos up now actually that j have repeatedly asked her to take down because they're unflattering

> frequently begs me to dress her when we go out, usually ends up wearing at least some of my clothes. My bestie says you can tell when I dress her LOL ♡ :^)

> back when we were in a group chat a few times she took my jokes and would tell them to other people and post about how funny they thought she was? Lol like "I said (joke) to my class and everybody was dying"

> one time I told her about a restaurant I thought she would like and invited her to go with me and before we could she suggested it to her bf and his friends as a group outing then told me about how impressed they were with her lol

> she qnd her bf made fun of me for "ruining the resale of my laptop" but putting stickers on it until she saw how fucking sick my laptop looks then she immediately went out and bought stickers to put some on her laptop (which she deliberately left bare for years prior) in a colour coordinated way similar to how I did mine

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Ep 21 Transcript: The Hallowed Collection of Suffixes

Episode 21

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone, welcome back to Stairway to Starclan, a Warrior Cats read pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we're all back in our proper places right now, so no microphone swapping or anything. Back to our old ways. Well, I dub this set of chapters Murder Plot Number 3. Murder returns.

LIZ: Love to see it.

JULIAN: So new and exciting.

PAZ: Yeah, I think we needed a little murder. It's been a while. But I'll go into the summaries so we can find out--

JULIAN: Wait, did I miss the intro?

PAZ: We did the intro before.

JULIAN: I forgot.

PAZ: And then we had problems. But the magic of audio editing is I can just cut all that, and--

JULIAN: Hell yes.

PAZ: People will never know. Chapter 15. The chapter opens on the hunting patrol led by Longtail, who is overseeing Fireheart and Graystripe after their demotion to apprentice activities. Longtail mocks them, calling Fireheart Firepaw, and Fireheart threatens him in return. The three leave to hunt, and Longtail continues to cause problems. Eventually they manage to catch some prey and return to camp, and Fireheart visits Cinderpaw and Yellowfang. Cinderpaw is learning how to make a poultice for Smallear. Yellowfang explains to Fireheart that Smallear has stiff joints because his bedding was too damp, and sends Fireheart to scold Cloudkit.

When Fireheart arrives at the elders' den, Cloudkit is listening intently to a story from Halftail. Fireheart says that Yellowfang thinks Cloudkit has been bringing in damp bedding, and all the elders rush to defend Cloudkit. Fireheart leaves knowing he won't get anywhere with the elders defending him. Back in the camp clearing, Fireheart sees Tigerclaw sharing tongues with Brokentail like old friends. Fireheart is surprised to see Tigerclaw being compassionate, and wonders again if he's wrong about Tigerclaw definitely being a murderer. However, he can't make himself believe Tigerclaw is innocent.

Chapter 16. Fireheart wakes up and muses about how much it sucks to sleep in the apprentice den for babies. As he leaves, Bluestar and Tigerclaw call him over and inform him that his punishment is done. Bluestar then sends Fireheart on a patrol with Tigerclaw to find a way to cross the stream for the upcoming gathering. Tigerclaw brings Longtail along as well, and Fireheart feels anxious about going out with two cats who hate him.

Out in the forest, newleaf has truly begun. Fireheart relaxes a little as Tigerclaw praises him for his hunting. When they reach a stream, they see that it is still flooded. The three look for a crossing place, and eventually they see a thin and unstable branch across the deepest part of the water. Tigerclaw forces Fireheart to climb out onto the branch to see if it's safe. Halfway through, the branch dislodges and throws Fireheart into the fast-moving water, just after Tigerclaw yells at him to get back.

Chapter 17. Fireheart desperately tries to keep hold of the branch as it rushes down the river. Just as he is on the edge of consciousness and nearly drowned, the branch catches on a rock and Longtail helps haul him out of the water. Tigerclaw decides they will return to camp, as there is no place to cross. Fireheart wonders if Tigerclaw dislodged the branch on purpose as an attempt to murder him. When Fireheart glances at Tigerclaw, who is openly glaring at him, Fireheart decides he definitely just tried to murder him. Fireheart wonders what murder attempt number three will be.

Back at camp, Sandstorm is alarmed to see Fireheart in such a bad shape. She stays close to him as the cats report back to Bluestar. Bluestar is not happy to hear that there is no crossing place because she thinks Starclan will be angry if they don't attend.

Fireheart then goes to Yellowfang to get checked over. Once there, Fireheart is examined by Cinderpaw. Cinderpaw gives him the all clear, and Yellowfang trusts her skills enough to second her diagnosis. Yellowfang then asks Cinderpaw if she would like to officially become the medicine cat apprentice. Cinderpaw is overjoyed and immediately accepts. Fireheart is happy to see Cinderpaw so excited. After sleeping, Fireheart is called out to a clan meeting where Bluestar names Cinderpaw the new medicine cat apprentice. Everyone in the clan approves and happily congratulates Cinderpaw. And that's the end of our meeting.

LIZ: Yay.

JULIAN: Yay.

PAZ: Yay, clap, clap, clap. Finally. I guess we go in order, kind of, but I gotta say I was expecting the apprentice punishment to last more than one chapter.

JULIAN: I know. It was over so fast.

PAZ: Like there's a sort of timeskip. I think in fiction, it was longer than like one day, but.

LIZ: Yeah, it felt like he just got grounded.

PAZ: He didn't even get grounded. He was like, you can't go to the movies tonight. That's it. Like after tonight, though. I guess it was just there to have Longtail be a little bitch. That was the purpose of it.

JULIAN: They had to go on the world's worst hunting patrol, and then they were done.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: God. Longtail sucks. What's his issue?

JULIAN: He's awful. He's just a little bitch for no reason.

PAZ: I guess it's because he's cat racist, but geez.

JULIAN: Like, this is skipping ahead a little bit, but like, while Fireheart is like clinging to the branch in imminent danger of dying, Longtail's like, hurry up, kittypet, or something like that, like. What?

PAZ: I mean, I guess at least he does save his life. He doesn't like Mufasa Firepaw into the river, but like that's a low bar.

JULIAN: Yeah, he does save his life, but he's racist at him while he does it.

LIZ: Saves your life racistly.

PAZ: Thanks. I love it. Yeah, I guess this set of chapters, like literally, the first sentence in this set of chapters is Longtail being like, well if it isn't our newest apprentice, Firepaw. Like okay, bitch. Won't even call him by the right name.

JULIAN: Awful.

PAZ: And in the little bit where Fireheart's like, damn, it sucks sleeping in the teen room, it mentions that I think Swiftpaw, who's Longtail's apprentice, is also being rude as hell. And it's like great, it's just, it's all getting passed down.

JULIAN: God. I think it's also like, not only is Swiftpaw like real shitty, but Brackenpaw's really awkward.

PAZ: I know. That part is very funny. It was like one sentence, but.

JULIAN: Which makes sense, because imagine if your teacher came back to, like, boarding school and was in your dorm.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: This is my new roommate, Professor Fireheart.

PAZ: Yeah, cause by all means Fireheart is his mentor, because Graystripe is doing fuck all.

JULIAN: I was doing the transcriptions for like some of the earlier episodes, and like we really did a 180 on Graystripe. Cause when they first start mentoring, there's one point where Firepaw fucks off to visit his sister, and Graystripe takes the apprentices for the day, and we're all like, ugh, Fireheart, what a deadbeat.

LIZ: Yeah, he did it once, and then he turned it around.

JULIAN: He did turn it around.

PAZ: Yeah, Fireheart is an example of how to balance your sneaking out to visit someone you shouldn't be and work-life balance.

JULIAN: It's important to have that balance.

PAZ: Graystripe needs to learn a thing or two. But the Brackenpaw oh, my teacher is in my dorm room, it's like the 100 times worse scenario of you see your teacher at the grocery store, and it's awkward, because you're like, oh, they exist outside of class.

JULIAN: Not only does he exist, but you have to sleep in the same sort of room.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: The more I think about this, the worse this is. This is horrible. I know they're little cats, but still.

LIZ: I keep imagining like the apprentices den as like, you know when people like foster kittens and they have like that little kitten area with like the blocked off door?

PAZ: Uh-huh.

LIZ: Yeah, it's just like that except you just have a fully grown cat back in there.

JULIAN: Yeah, Fireheart has to sleep in the apprentice den but like his legs are sticking out because he doesn't fit.

LIZ: Oh no.

PAZ: Fireheart does get to threaten Longtail again, which is great. I didn't realize he'd torn Longtail's ear when he was a baby.

JULIAN: Oh yeah. The original fight.

PAZ: Yeah, I just didn't realize he got like a scar from that. How embarrassing. You're gonna be like, a racist little bitch to this guy who gave you like a permanent scar? Okay. Looking real badass.

JULIAN: You're gonna be a racist little bitch to this guy who gave you a permanent scar in his second fight ever in his life?

PAZ: Right.

LIZ: Got beat up by this baby.

JULIAN: After you've been training to like fight and whatever for like six months or however long?

PAZ: Longtail's such a loser.

LIZ: He is.

PAZ: There's a part--

JULIAN: He really has the energy of like townie homophobe.

PAZ: There was a part, too, where he was like, oh, you better not touch me. Like Tigerclaw will get you if you do. And I'm like, I don't think Tigerclaw's gonna rush to your defense, my guy.

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: Think this is one-sided.

JULIAN: Your faith seems a little misplaced.

PAZ: Very pathetic little man. And then he says some something stupid and like scares off this bird, and then blames Fireheart. Awful. You do know that these cats are British, though, because he does say rubbish.

LIZ: God.

JULIAN: Which is very funny because like, don't the cats called rubbish like, I don't know.

PAZ: Crowfood? It's crowfood, right?

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Rubbish is only an expression in these cats' world. There's no other meaning.

JULIAN: It's just a series of nonsense sounds. Like the bit with Yellowfang-- I mean, there's multiple bits with Yellowfang, but I'm glad we get more Yellowfang screentime. The part where she tells Fireheart off, or doesn't tell him off, but is just like, oh, you should have known you would have gotten caught is like both very cute and also like... how does she feel about Fireheart helping other clans?

PAZ: Yeah, I made a note that like, it seems like everyone knows that he's in trouble for helping RiverClan because I think it says Yellowfang heard it from Runningwind. But I'm like, I wish we'd gotten more reactions to that because it seems kind of... seems like it'd be a big deal. But I guess not.

LIZ: It feels set up to be a big deal.

PAZ: Yeah, and then they're only punished for one chapter. Cause I feel like it's also implied Tigerclaw told Longtail too. And he also doesn't really say anything. I don't know. Maybe it'll come up at like the gathering.

JULIAN: I would kind of expect Longtail to be less racist and more like upset about Fireheart helping RiverClan, or racist about that. Like the fact that it doesn't come up at all is weird.

PAZ: Unless it's like Runningwind just said to Yellowfang, they're on apprentice duties, and Yellowfang heard from her wife, Bluestar, why. That's an alternative scenario.

JULIAN: Right, of course.

PAZ: But yeah, the scene in chapter 15 with Yellowfang and Cinderpaw is cute. And then the following scene with Cloudkit and the elders is the best. I love it.

JULIAN: It's adorable.

LIZ: It is.

PAZ: Grandparents love this kid.

JULIAN: It really has the energy of like... I used to go to visit my grandma in her nursing home a lot, and we'd like stay overnight there because it was like a really long drive. And every so often like one of us kids would just sort of wander off, and my parents would find like my brother or whatever surrounded by old people.

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: That's what's happening here.

PAZ: Yeah, the thing is like Yellowfang's all like Smallear's stiff joints or whatever-- it's just arthritis-- is so bad. All the damp bedding. Go tell off your nephew or whatever. And Fireheart gets there, and all the other old cats are like, Smallear's just whiny. We love this child. Don't say anything bad.

JULIAN: Cloudkit's never done a thing wrong, ever in his life.

PAZ: The Cloudkit defenders have logged on. They're in the elders' den.

LIZ: They have.

JULIAN: The Cloudkit defenders are posting minions memes on Facebook.

PAZ: Oh no. They are. They're also that picture that's like the grandma commenting on the photo like, gorgeous picture, beautiful granddaughter, like 10 times.

LIZ: My god.

PAZ: It's very cute that Cloudkit loves to listen to the old people.

JULIAN: It's also like, I don't know, it's really nice to see him getting integrated into like clan life this way.

PAZ: And it's like, you can't talk back against like the old people, like what they decide. Gotta respect them.

JULIAN: God, they're so salty about Smallear.

PAZ: It's really funny. Really threw Smallear under a bus for this child. I guess if you had to listen to someone complain constantly, and you live together, and you're old, you might get a little salty.

LIZ: And they do love this baby so much.

JULIAN: They adore this baby.

LIZ: He's a nice young man.

PAZ: He is a nice young man. After that scene, though, is Tigerclaw hanging out with Brokentail and Fireheart interpreting that as compassion. Extremely funny. You know this man schemes.

JULIAN: It sends him on like a whole thought spiral where he doubts everything he knows about Tigerclaw.

PAZ: I know.

JULIAN: And is like, maybe he's not so bad. Maybe I'm just wrong. Maybe I'm just too suspicious, and Tigerclaw is a good deputy and a good guy.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: And it's like, buddy, he's scheming. He's plotting and scheming. He's aiming to be the fifth member of Brokentail's polycule or whatever.

PAZ: Tigerclaw saw that, and he's like, I gotta get in on that. I know, and like, I can't remember if this is the case that they were colluding before this or not. But the fact that it's like, they were sharing tongues like old friends, I'm like, mm.

LIZ: Wink.

PAZ: Maybe-- yeah. Wink wink. I'm like maybe this has been happening for a while, Fireheart.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's also like, this especially sucks because like Brokentail didn't even react when Yellowfang tried to share tongues with him.

PAZ: Yeah, it's really sad.

JULIAN: And now he's being all buddy-buddy with Tigerclaw and it makes me very sad.

PAZ: Yeah, that was sad. And that was also another reason that I think Fireheart should have been more suspicious, because Brokentail deliberately didn't react to like anybody else. And I'm like, maybe, maybe use your little noggin to think about why they might be getting along.

JULIAN: Well, it's especially-- Fireheart is like, "Fireheart had never seen anything to show that he had the compassion of a true leader until now." And it's like.

LIZ: Well.

JULIAN: And you still haven't

PAZ: Fireheart's just trying to be an ally. He's just like, wow.

LIZ: God.

JULIAN: Diversity win.

PAZ: Love is love.

JULIAN: These evil cats are gay.

PAZ: Finally.

LIZ: He did try to kill me as a child, but he is gay. Hmm. Makes you think.

JULIAN: More bisexual war criminals.

PAZ: This is what everyone's saying, and people just don't want to hear it. And then the next chapter is um, he's unpunished instantly.

JULIAN: Oh, there is-- at the end of chapter 15, there is a cute little turn of phrase, where, "as Fireheart padded more slowly ever to the pile of freshkill, he wished to the tips of his claws that he could be freed from the burden of what he knew."

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Aw, there's so many good little cat phrases. Longtail said something too, like I've seen like a three-legged rabbit do better, or something like that.

JULIAN: It must be so fun as an author to come up with those.

LIZ: Yeah, to the tips of his little beans.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: That has to be one of the best parts. Cause it's like, you have to come up with phrases in like fantasy and stuff too, but when it's humans, it's not that exciting. It's kind of boring, because you define still human terms of phases. But when they're little cats, you just do whatever you want.

JULIAN: There's another part where Tigerclaw's coat is described as rippling as he stands up.

PAZ: This cat is ripped.

LIZ: No, it's like, you know when you like touch the back of a cat, just the back of it, and it just like does that twitchy thing?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's what I was imagining, when a cat is angry or agitated, they like...

LIZ: They ripple.

PAZ: His huge muscles. I do just picture Tigerclaw as like a Maine coon cat now, massive.

JULIAN: Big boy.

LIZ: Big boy season.

JULIAN: Big boy sends Fireheart to branch hell.

PAZ: God. I think this is murder attempt number two on Fireheart.

JULIAN: So what's number one?

PAZ: When they were battling in WindClan camp, and like, I think it was Leopardfur who was getting ready to kill him, and Tigerclaw was just standing there watching, menacingly.

JULIAN: Was the Cinderpaw thing, was that an attempt on Bluestar or Fireheart? I don't remember.

PAZ: I think it was an attempt on Bluestar, because it was like he asked for Bluestar to come there, and then Bluestar was sick. So that's why Bluestar didn't come.

JULIAN: So we're only on attempt number two. God. As they're setting out, Fireheart is like, oh, I'm like, he has this image of the cats like murdering him in the woods. And then he's like, oh, no, I'm just being irrational. And it's like, no, buddy, I think you're being very rational.

PAZ: Right? You were thinking correctly for once. It's like, damn, why would Tigerclaw take just me and his lackey who hates me so bad out into the woods to look at water? Nothing could happen here.

LIZ: Boys' night. That's just boys' night. Just doing lad things.

JULIAN: Yep, just a cheeky near-death experience with the lads.

PAZ: This is just like those British lads hitting each other with chairs.

JULIAN: God.

LIZ: But that's what they are. They're British.

PAZ: They sure are. That's what Fireheart thinks Tigerclaw and Brokentail are doing, you know, the tender kiss afterwards.

JULIAN: It is like, Fireheart's response to being like, oh, I'm just being irrational is just to go, I'm gonna prove that I'm a warrior to them. I'm their equal. And it's just like, aw, buddy. Oh, buddy.

PAZ: You can't prove that if you get murdered.

JULIAN: Also you don't need to prove that.

LIZ: Noooo.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: Longtail's incompetent, for one thing.

PAZ: Yeah, he doesn't seem very good at anything.

LIZ: No. And he got beat up by a baby. The baby was you.

JULIAN: He got beat up by a baby. He scared away that bird when they were hunting.

LIZ: He's cat racist.

PAZ: Not teaching his apprentice good things. Wouldn't go onto that scary branch.

JULIAN: Yeah, no.

PAZ: But this is like... god, this is like the second time Fireheart almost drowns within 10 chapters or something.

JULIAN: There's a lot of water peril.

PAZ: Yeah, this is a very flood-heavy book it seems like. I guess because it's a book focusing on RiverClan, sort of. That's the other like spotlighted clan, I feel like, this book, because of Graystripe.

JULIAN: Yeah, no Graystripe in these chapters.

PAZ: Yeah, no, none. The only way to not have anything to complain about with Graystripe is if he doesn't do anything.

JULIAN: Graystripe fans, you get a reprieve.

PAZ: Tigerclaw, I think he like tries to cover his tracks in an interesting way though, where he pretends to warn Fireheart right before he falls to his doom. Which is, I mean, I guess it's like, Longtail sucks ass but he doesn't know Tigerclaw's a murder man at the very least.

LIZ: Murder man.

JULIAN: [to the tune of the Batman theme song] Murder man, murder man.

PAZ: Cause like when Fireheart's trying to figure out if Tigerclaw did in fact just try to kill him, he's like, oh, but he wouldn't do that in front of Longtail. But then he's like, maybe he did it in a way Longtail wasn't paying attention.

JULIAN: It's also like I wouldn't put it past Tigerclaw to do it in front of Longtail and then intimidate Longtail into...

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: Like, he's already done this with Ravenpaw and, like Longtail is probably easier for Tigerclaw to intimidate slash try to get onto his side.

PAZ: I mean, he could probably manipulate Longtail pretty easily without, like, I don't know, just give him some shit about how Fireheart's like a traitor.

JULIAN: It was for the good of the clan.

LIZ: There's a part where Fireheart says like, Longtail may be terrible and a jerk and suck and also cat racist, but he's honorable and would never let another warrior die. I don't recall this ever coming up ever before.

PAZ: I don't think it did, but I think it's just like a point of like, he sucks ass, but he did help Fireheart because he's at the baseline, like clan loyalty, I guess.

JULIAN: Yeah, I mean, there is--

PAZ: As opposed to Tigerclaw who loves to kill.

JULIAN: Like I think what Liz is talking about, there is specifically a point where like the code, the clan code is like specifically mentioned, about sticking rigidly to it when another warrior needs your help.

PAZ: That code's whatever you want it to be.

JULIAN: What is-- open the sacred text. What do they say?

PAZ: This has to be posted somewhere. I'm going to look. Warrior Cats clan code. I can't spell. Is it on the official site?

LIZ: Someone must have compiled this.

JULIAN: There is an article about it on the official site.

PAZ: Warriorscat.com warrior code. What is it? Please tell me. This website's taking--

JULIAN: That's a dog in this fanart. It did finally load for me.

PAZ: I'm trying to get on the official website. Wow, it doesn't wanna load. Okay, there we go. Oh, it's trying to give me the app. Warrior Cats is now available as an app.

LIZ: Ooh.

PAZ: Well, I don't have any space on my phone. But it's a-- what is this fanart?

JULIAN: Right? I think it's meant to be two cats fighting, but one of them looks like a dog.

PAZ: Do we wanna go through this? I'll send the link for you, Liz.

LIZ: I do.

PAZ: Are you there? I think you're there, Julian.

JULIAN: I am there, yes.

LIZ: Wait, what link are you looking at? Okay.

PAZ: The official one.

LIZ: Thank you.

PAZ: Oh yeah, let's go through this. Let's see if we think these have been invoked. "One, defend your clan even with your life. You may have friendships with cats from the other clans, but your loyalty must remain to your clan, as one day you may meet them in battle." I guess so. "Do not hunt or trespass on another clan's territory." Well, people love to break this one constantly.

JULIAN: Yeah, that one gets broken constantly.

PAZ: That almost seems like, I don't think anyone really listens to it.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: The hunting seems like a bigger deal than the trespassing.

PAZ: Yeah, but also like, everyone's been hunting everywhere. Like RiverClan's been hunting in ThunderClan, and I think Bluestar was saying like oh, we should go hunt in RiverClan. Then RiverClan was hunting in WindClan and ShadowClan was... WindClan's the only one who's stuck by this so far.

JULIAN: WindClan, you should branch out. No borders.

PAZ: WindClan, you can just move.

LIZ: They should just move. This is terrible.

PAZ: "Three, elders and kits must be fed before apprentices and warriors." Yeah. That actually came up this chapter. "Four, prey is killed only to be eaten. Give thanks to Starclan for its life." There was that weird thing that came up at one point where it's like, they bury the bones or whatever, so yeah. "A kit must be at least six moons old to become an apprentice." Child labor laws. "Six, newly appointed warriors will keep a silent vigil for one night after receiving a warrior name."

LIZ: Yeah, we got that.

PAZ: Wow, this keeps going, huh?

JULIAN: Yeah, there's 16 of these.

PAZ: Well, okay, let's... um, where was I? Oh god, I keep scrolling. What is this art? Tigerclaw is very buff here.

JULIAN: "Number seven, a cat cannot be made deputy without having mentored at least one apprentice."

PAZ: I didn't know this.

JULIAN: Maybe that's why Tigerclaw keeps getting apprentices.

PAZ: He's like, I fucking hate kids but, ugh.

LIZ: Worst person you know becomes a nurse.

PAZ: That is it! Oh no. Nooo. Nine.

LIZ: Tigerclaw's here to give you your vaccine so he can become vice president.

PAZ: He just jabs in there really hard. "Nine, after the death or retirement of a deputy, the new deputy must be chosen before moonhigh." This seems like a bad rule to me, frankly. I think you need time. This is a big decision. I think you need some time to think about that.

LIZ: Maybe you should have some contingencies in place.

PAZ: Yeah, you know, maybe ask your clan.

LIZ: Hmm.

JULIAN: Yeah, what if elections?

PAZ: No, Warrior Cats is nepotism. That's all we got here. "10, a gathering of all four clans is held at the full moon during a truce that lasts through the night. There shall be no fighting among clans at this time." Yeah. [laughs] "11, boundaries must be checked and marked daily, challenging all trespassing cats." Piss is part of the warrior code.

LIZ: You have to piss every single day. You have to check. Do not forget.

PAZ: I've gotten used to it, but it's still very funny that this is a important detail in Warriors lore. See, number 12. I feel... if this is part of the warrior code, then why is everyone suspicious when they help those kits? "12, No warrior may neglect a kit in pain or in danger, even if that kit is from a different clan."

LIZ: They're constantly suspicious of other kits.

PAZ: Is this like a new one? Is this one that happened after everyone was like, hey, maybe we shouldn't let babies die?

LIZ: Maybe.

PAZ: [snorts] "13, The word of the clan leader is the warrior code."

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: This is just like presidential war powers.

LIZ: This is very bad.

JULIAN: Ugggggh.

PAZ: Well, I guess anything can be the fucking warrior code then. Damn. "14, an honorable warrior does not need to kill other cats to win his battles, unless they're outside the warrior code or it is necessary for self defense." I guess this is--

JULIAN: Maybe this is where all the, like, people going, oh, you can't murder, no murder, are coming from.

PAZ: Yeah, I guess this is where the thing is like, where it was like, Tigerclaw, killing-- when that, what was the implication? That Redtail killed Oakheart or something? That was like, yeah, the bad implication because he was honorable?

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, I guess so. What is this video at the bottom? Sorry.

JULIAN: Oh, wait, there's number 15, also.

PAZ: I know, but there's a video of kittens.

WIZARD: [a distant, sonorous voice]

JULIAN: [yelps] Oh my god!

LIZ: What?

[distant cats meowing]

LIZ: What?!

WIZARD: Rule number three.

JULIAN: Do you want me to screen share so we can all watch it together?

PAZ: Oh my god, yes.

LIZ: Yes, it seems really loud.

PAZ: I'm gonna download this audio and then put it under the episode.

JULIAN: Yeah, then you can edit it in.

PAZ: This is incredible. Why was I bothering to read these?

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: All right, I'm live. Can y'all see?

PAZ: Okay, let me join. This narrator.

JULIAN: Oh, wait, I'm not sharing audio.

PAZ: That's a great cat right there.

LIZ: I'm very excited for this live stream from Staircast. For the three of us.

JULIAN: Let me just play it real quick to make sure you can hear it.

PAZ: Yes.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: I can hear it.

LIZ: It's so very loud.

WIZARD: So, young apprentice, you want to be a warrior. Well, then you must follow the warrior code.

PAZ: Who is this man?

JULIAN: I'm sorry, this is very loud. I don't know how to turn it down.

PAZ: This is actually what Fireheart sounds like.

WIZARD: Rule number one, defend your clan, even with your life.

LIZ: He sounds like David Attenborough.

PAZ: Yes. What is this image?

WIZARD: You must always be loyal to your clan.

[cats yowling]

WIZARD: Rule number two.

LIZ: We have to post this.

WIZARD: Rule number 2, do not hunt or trespass on another clan's territory.

PAZ: It's gonna be in the episode.

[meow]

[tap tap tap of footsteps]

JULIAN: [yelps]

PAZ: The added sound effect.

WIZARD: Rule number three, elders and kits must be fed before apprentices and warriors.

PAZ: Why does this man sound like he's about to die?

JULIAN: [shrieking] Oh my god, this kitten.

LIZ: These are just kittens.

WIZARD: What do you think you are doing? You are apprentices now, not kits. Stop eating.

PAZ: This man is just a wizard. Oh my god, the munching.

JULIAN: Why are there chewing sound effects?

PAZ: What are they eating, rice?

WIZARD: Rule number four, prey is killed only to be eaten. If you're not going to eat it, don't kill it.

[thwap]

LIZ: What.

WIZARD: Rule number five, a kit must be at least six moons old to become an apprentice.

JULIAN: Oh, the kittens.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Who made this?

WIZARD: Sorry, but that means you're out. Don't look at me with those big cute eyes.

PAZ: What is this?

WIZARD: Come back when you're older.

[mew]

PAZ: Yeah, don't make your babies fight.

WIZARD: Rule number six, newly appointed warriors must sit silent vigil for one night after receiving their warrior name.

JULIAN: What is this man's enunciation?

WIZARD: I said silent vigil.

PAZ: There's little jokes. Little cat jokes.

WIZARD: Rule number seven, a cat cannot be named deputy without having mentored at least one apprentice.

PAZ: What is this? Aw.

JULIAN: Aww.

PAZ: Aw, look at little Cloudkit.

[boing boing]

LIZ: Oh no.

WIZARD: Rule number eight, borders must be checked and marked daily.

JULIAN: Are they gonna show the piss? Nope.

PAZ: Just gonna move past that one, huh?

WIZARD: Rule number nine, no warrior may neglect a kit in pain or in danger.

[mew]

WIZARD: Even if that kit is from a different clan.

[mew]

JULIAN: He skipped the fascism rule.

WIZARD: Last and most important, rule number 10.

PAZ: He did!

WIZARD: A warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet.

[mew]

PAZ: Hold on. Who is this man?

WIZARD: What are you doing? I said a warrior rejects the soft life of a kittypet.

LIZ: He's David Attenborough.

PAZ: What is this-- this is an incredible old wizard voice, but what?

WIZARD: Never mind. We will continue in our training tomorrow.

[jaunty music]

LIZ: This is like a 90s movie wizard.

JULIAN: This is official. Copyright HarperCollins.

PAZ: No, yeah, this is official.

LIZ: Wow.

PAZ: Who is this?

LIZ: This is on YouTube. We should post it.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

PAZ: Yeah, once the episode is out. I wanted some credits on that to know who that was.

JULIAN: I know.

PAZ: Wow.

LIZ: How do I leave this stream?

JULIAN: I feel like that man was about to ask me to like, [creaky voice] only your strongest potions.

PAZ: [equally sing-song voice] You must collect the sacred artifacts to...

LIZ: [like they stepped straight from Zelda] I see you've gotten trapped in my maze.

PAZ: --revive magic in the world. My wizard maze.

JULIAN: Link, you're not ready for that sword yet.

PAZ: I'm laughing so much I'm sweating.

LIZ: Young warrior, I see you have not pissed everywhere today. Ooh, you know what that means.

[laughter]

PAZ: Oh god. Oh my God, there's no way to find out who that was. There's not even comments on this article.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: That was just, that was the voice of God.

LIZ: That's what StarClan sounds like.

JULIAN: That's the voice of StarClan all together.

PAZ: That is what StarClan sounds like.

LIZ: Every night Bluestar goes to sleep and it's just like [wizard voice] mm. Almost got assassinated again, I see. Mm, you really...

PAZ: I don't even know what we were talking about. That wiped my mind clean.

JULIAN: It was Longtail.

PAZ: Whoo. Oh my god.

JULIAN: Apparently, these were-- I looked on the wiki, the actual wiki, and these rules were revealed in Secrets of the Clans, the first sort of guide book.

PAZ: Oh, I have that book. I should go look.

JULIAN: But that said that was like-- yeah, it's like 2007.

PAZ: Yeah, that came out I think after the first series had finished, maybe.

JULIAN: Some retconning.

PAZ: Oh boy. Why did he skip the fascism rule? Why is the wizard afraid of this? You can't hide your sins. I don't know. What were we talking about? Murder attempt number two.

JULIAN: We were talking about Longtail being honorable while saving Fireheart racistly.

PAZ: I don't even know if that was in the warrior code, actually, that like protect your clanmates. I don't think that was there.

JULIAN: Yeah, I guess it's the bit about like defend your clan.

PAZ: Yeah, maybe. Just, woof. Took it out of me.

JULIAN: Absolutely brain blasted.

PAZ: Fireheart wondering what the next murder attempt will be is very funny.

JULIAN: God. At least he'll be on his guard now, I hope.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm like, I hope like now you won't dismiss your thoughts like maybe they're gonna murder me. Maybe you should just be like, yeah they're gonna murder me. But he's like, next time Tigerclaw would make sure he did not fail. I'm like, damn. Maybe you should tell someone.

Not Graystripe, because Graystripe will be like, that's not my problem. He said that, like, two books ago. I think it was literally like, if you're doing anything about Tigerclaw, don't involve me. Fireheart's gonna be like, Graystripe, I almost got killed, and Graystripe will be like, okay, I'm gonna go see my gf. Bye.

JULIAN: Maybe he should go talk to Ravenpaw again.

PAZ: Right?

JULIAN: They can commiserate.

PAZ: Yeah, now they're buddies in almost being murdered. [sighs] Okay, Tigerclaw also attempted to murder Ravenpaw at least two times, because he sent him to snake hell. And then he tried to push him into traffic. There was probably more, but those are the two I remember.

JULIAN: Oh, poor Ravenpaw.

PAZ: Poor Ravenpaw. Also glad he got away from all this. Sandstorm being worried about Fireheart in the next scene is cute.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's sweet. The report to Bluestar is like, hey, Bluestar?

PAZ: Yeah, she sucks.

JULIAN: She's like, oh, Starclan will be angry if we don't try to find a dry route. And it's like, Fireheart very clearly almost drowned.

PAZ: And she also like, scolds him for that.

LIZ: Wow, I can't believe you almost drowned. That's very unprofessional.

JULIAN: She doesn't want to have to pay out workers comp.

LIZ: Oh, every day she becomes more and more of a girlboss. It breaks my heart.

JULIAN: It's so sad.

PAZ: Girlbossification.

LIZ: Yellowfang, it's not too late to find another wife.

PAZ: Truly.

LIZ: There's gotta be another old gray cat somewhere.

JULIAN: She and Dappletail, maybe.

PAZ: What was that-- is it Graypool is the old cat in RiverClan?

JULIAN: Oh yeah.

PAZ: She seems great.

JULIAN: Yeah, they're both very crotchety. I think they'd get along.

PAZ: I think that'd be great. I'm in support of it.

JULIAN: Although that would be double forbidden.

PAZ: Yeah, but we know Yellowfang is already a pro at that.

LIZ: She loves another forbidden MILF.

PAZ: There's another really cute turn of phrase where Yellowfang sees drowned Fireheart, and she's like, "great Starclan, you look like a squirrel that's fallen out of a tree. What happened to you?"

LIZ: Aw. Do these cats climb trees?

PAZ: Yes.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: Right? They do, don't they?

PAZ: Yes, they do. What are you talking about?

LIZ: I mean, I've never-- have we ever seen it?

PAZ: You mean in the books?

JULIAN: I guess we haven't seen it in the series.

LIZ: Yeah, I know cats in general climb trees.

PAZ: Oh, okay.

LIZ: But I mean, do these cats climb trees?

PAZ: Well, Liz, don't you remember from the very first episode SkyClan? Their very powerful lights for climbing trees.

LIZ: Oh, true, true. Foolish of me.

PAZ: So maybe it's like an exclusive ability, just like RiverClan can swim.

LIZ: You're right.

PAZ: Cute Cinderpaw and Yellowfang content. When Yellowfang asks Cinderpaw to be her apprentice, finally, she's like, you're the only cat I can stand. It's very cute, like old lady loves new daughter.

JULIAN: Yeah, and like Cinderpaw's reaction to her praise is like really, really-- the whole interaction is like... Yellowfang's like, oh, you're a really smart learner and like I see so many stupid cats that it's really nice.

PAZ: Yellowfang's like, I'm surrounded by idiots constantly. Thank God you're here, Cinderpaw.

JULIAN: And Cinderpaw sort of interrupts her to thank her, and Yellowfang is like, be quiet. I haven't finished.

PAZ: I love Yellowfang so much.

JULIAN: Oh, it's so good. And like, you know, I still don't.... I still wish that Cinderpaw had had more choices. But like, I am glad that she has something that she's excited about.

PAZ: Yeah, she's like-- for some reason I thought she was like, more forced into it, like in the sense of like her character being unwilling than she is. She's genuinely excited here. But I think I was just thinking of Jaypaw and the Power of Three. I must have just been mixing that up. But I'm glad she's hyped for it.

JULIAN: Yeah. And like, I also-- I don't know if I'll be eating my words later, but when they're like, oh, you have to make the journey to the Moonstone, no one is like, oh, she can't do it.

PAZ: Yeah, I was really worried they were gonna say something. And it was just like no, whatever.

LIZ: Yeah, like, as an individual thing for her, and like as the first instance of this happening, it's like not as terrible as I was expecting, because you know, she is excited for it, which is nice, because there's so much like in her earlier scenes about how she felt like, you know, insecure and stuff.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's really nice to see her like, confident and like-- both confident and competent.

PAZ: And it was like a sweet scene at the end of the chapter where the whole clan is happy about it and seemed very like confident in her being a good medicine cat, presumably because she's just been doing that already.

JULIAN: Even Tigerclaw goes up to her and congratulates her.

PAZ: It's so funny.

LIZ: Even-- listen, even terrible evil guys need doctors eventually.

PAZ: That's true, yeah.

LIZ: He's thinking about his healthcare plan.

PAZ: You really can't get on your doctors'-- can't get on your two doctors' bad side.

JULIAN: I don't remember. Has Fireheart ever had a conversation with Yellowfang about Tigerclaw being absolutely awful?

PAZ: I can't remember, either. I feel like there might have been something where Yellowfang was like, yeah, he seems kind of like bad news. But I'm not sure if he's ever told-- I don't think he's told everything to Yellowfang. I don't know. Which he should. Yellowfang's like way more reliable than Bluestar.

JULIAN: Also she's seen this kind of thing before.

PAZ: Yeah, exactly. She knows evil cats. She can also talk to ghosts, you know. That'd probably be helpful. She could call up Redtail and be like, yo.

JULIAN: What's good?

PAZ: Give me the details.

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't have anything else for these. Sorry, Liz?

LIZ: Oh sorry, I was just saying what we should cover next, because I wasn't sure if my audio was working.

PAZ: You were posting something about the naming styles Fanlore article, right, Julian?

JULIAN: Oh god, yeah.

[meow]

I like found a-- I was looking on Fanlore for Warrior Cats stuff, obviously, because I wanted to see if there was any ancient drama. Did not find any ancient drama, probably because Fanlore is--

PAZ: I know there has to be, though.

JULIAN: I know there is some. I think Fanlore like skews towards such particular fandoms and like particular fandom circles that like--

PAZ: Yeah, it's also like, I feel like a lot of ancient drama in Warriors fandom is between like 13 year olds, which is definitely a different brand of drama than like, whatever the fuck Cassandra Clare was doing.

JULIAN: But there's a whole article about fan naming styles in Warrior Cats.

LIZ: God. Thank God.

JULIAN: So it goes over sort of the naming convention in canon. And then the controversy is between traditionalism and lyricalism.

LIZ: Oh my God.

PAZ: What an incredible name for that. We know where Peyton is.

JULIAN: God. Yep. We sure do. Yeah. Shall I read some of this?

PAZ: Please.

LIZ: Please.

JULIAN: Alright. "Traditional naming. Traditionalism attempts to introduce structure and reason to the canon naming system, which many fans feel contributes to more satisfying and nuanced world building overall." Also, I just want to say, there are no like citations for any of this.

PAZ: Oh no. Nope.

JULIAN: "Prefixes in traditional systems will almost always refer to the dominant color of a cat's pelt, although some traditionalists will also accept prefixes that only refer to a cat's size."

PAZ: This is so constrictive.

JULIAN: "Prefixes may refer to a cat's history or namesake only if the cat is the right color for the prefix."

LIZ: What?

JULIAN: "Eg, a cat born in a storm could only be given the prefix Storm if they were predominantly gray."

PAZ: God.

JULIAN: "Prefixes may also imply other details of a cat's appearance or coloration when possible. Eg, a cat called Weasel might have a white belly, a cat called Tiger may be a tabby, a cat called Ant might be small."

PAZ: Ant.

JULIAN: "Although most traditionalists won't refer to eye color, as kittens' eye colors have not yet developed when they are named."

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Damn.

JULIAN: [sighs] "Prefixes must be specific enough to imply a color, although some ambiguity is allowed and usually inevitable to create a long enough list of workable prefixes. Flower is too general, as flowers can be almost any color, but Daisy could refer to either a white or golden cat and is perfectly acceptable."

PAZ: That's great. Great to know.

LIZ: [sighs]

JULIAN: Touches ground. Something happened here.

PAZ: "Suffixes, where possible, recognize a cat's skills or positive personality traits. Suffixes are given from a list of fixed, recognized meanings within a setting. Eg, a creator might decide that foot always refers to a fast runner. These are generally derived from symbolism and associations of a suffix. Eg, tail is to recognize agility, as cats use their tails for balance." I don't-- are we sure about this? I don't think the Erin Hunters were giving it this much thought.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: "Cats may be given neutral suffixes if their skills or personalities aren't described by a suffix on the list, eg, fur, pelt." Yeah. "Or else they may be given suffixes that further describe their appearances, eg, stripe for a tabby, face for an attractive cat." Graystripe is Graystripe cause he doesn't have any skills or personality. There we go. Had to get that out.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: "Taken together, a traditional name will be given a snapshot of the cat in question, eg Nightclaw may suggest a black cat skilled at fighting, Poppycloud may suggest a red cat with a calm demeanor." [snorts] Here's a paragraph about how you can rename a cat for their disability. Great stuff.

LIZ: [disdainfully] Mm.

JULIAN: There is, you know, "traditionalists generally agree that these renames should always be done with the intention of honoring the cat, ie, recognizing the strength required to survive and recover from such a debilitating injury, and should always be done with the cat's full consent."

PAZ: It should be.

LIZ: Why not let the cat do it? Hey.

PAZ: I agree.

LIZ: Why do you have to be like, may I have permission to rename you?

JULIAN: Also like if you're-- you as the author cannot get consent from your character.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah, there is-- I did notice a paragraph further up outside of the two camps which says, "in some cases, cats who have sustained injuries causing them to become physically disabled after birth are given new names to reflect their disability. Canon is inconsistent about whether naming cats for their disability is considered demeaning, and the tradition has lately been dropped after the first arc."

JULIAN: Yeah. Yeah, good.

LIZ: Okay, that's good to hear.

PAZ: Good. It should be, because it's weird as hell.

LIZ: It's like, you don't-- why would you rename-- like what if your name was just like, Brownpelt. Do you stop being Brownpelt? I don't think so.

PAZ: It's so weird. I think there's a real bad rename that happens in the first series that we're gonna get to.

LIZ: Oh no.

PAZ: Yeah, back to the traditionalists. "Traditional naming began as an attempt by fans to understand and headcanon naming conventions in the first arc. As such, strictly traditional names only use suffixes found in the first arc, and will sometimes only use plant or animal prefixes if they can be found in the first arc's English setting. However, many fans will choose to add additional suffixes they enjoy, or will use different prefixes that reflect their clan or clans being set in a different location." Oh my god, there's a whole list.

JULIAN: I know-- this list. I want to skip down to the one right after, because I want to go to this list, but the next sentence. "Traditionalist fanworks using canon characters will often rename cats in order to better reflect their appearance, personality, and/or skills."

PAZ: What?!

LIZ: What?!

JULIAN: "Or will sometimes tweak characters to better fit their names."

PAZ: They leave--

JULIAN: What.

LIZ: Why?!

JULIAN: What level of like absolutely wild are you on?

PAZ: Oh my god, this is just people being like, no, I know better than the authors on how to name these cats. Oh my god.

JULIAN: So the link here for traditional naming guidance links to a Tumblr blog. The title of this is Hallowed Collection of Suffixes.

LIZ: What?!

PAZ: That sounds like a Dark Souls like item.

JULIAN: And there's like 15 of them. There's only 15 suffixes that you can have.

PAZ: Yeah, cause that's all that was in the first series, I guess.

LIZ: Oh my God. Hallowed Collection of Suffixes is also a FATT faction, just saying.

PAZ: There are some external links, I guess, as their like citations. Here are three articles mentioned. One, "The guidelines." Next one, "On why some names are untraditional, and the history of traditionalism."

LIZ: Oh my God.

PAZ: And then the last one, "Traditionalism is a spectrum."

LIZ: Oh, I've got to click on it, I'm sorry. Goodbye.

PAZ: This is the same blog.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Yeah, these are all from the same blog.

PAZ: Oh my god, this is so long.

JULIAN: I want so badly to know who this person is who runs this blog. "All anonymous askers are referred to affectionately as Ruddles, which is another word for a marigold plant."

PAZ: What?

JULIAN: "Do not be alarmed by this please. It is an old in-joke." What's happening here?!

LIZ: What is happening.

PAZ: How old is this blog? Oh, they link their writing blog.

LIZ: Oh God, last post was from this month.

PAZ: [shuddering] Oh God.

LIZ: We can't be here.

JULIAN: The traditionalist thing was first posted in 2012 about Traditionalism is a spectrum.

PAZ: Oh my god, this is ancient.

JULIAN: But like this person has been doing this at this point for almost 10 years.

PAZ: They got a PhD in Warrior Cats names.

JULIAN: Here's a database system where you can put in your name and it'll tell you if it works.

PAZ: What? Where? Link it.

JULIAN: Um, so it says it's busted.

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: Because of Tumblr.

PAZ: I wanted to put in like canon cat names from later series and see how badly they were rated.

JULIAN: Well, it says you can access it via the Wayback Machine. So I want to see if it still works via the Wayback Machine.

PAZ: Please let me know.

JULIAN: Here's the Wayback Machine. I am going to put in Kip Jazzman.

LIZ: Oh my God.

JULIAN: Or just Jazzman.

PAZ: Jazzman.

JULIAN: Space between the prefix and suffix of the name you are entering. "The name reader doesn't recognize this prefix."

PAZ: [snorts]

JULIAN: It also does not recognize this suffix.

LIZ: Noo.

JULIAN: Let's try Chickpea. Also no.

LIZ: But it's nature.

PAZ: Try putting in like Jayfeather.

JULIAN: Okay, I just put in Fireheart. "This cat has a ginger pelt. This cat is self confident and determined and will do whatever they believe is right."

PAZ: That's true.

JULIAN: That is correct. Oh, it doesn't recognize the suffix feather.

PAZ: Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You can't just go off the first series because Bluestar only have like five names.

LIZ: Yeah, Bluestar didn't have a whole database. You think back in 2003 or whatever fantasynamegenerators.com was available to her?

PAZ: No.

LIZ: Also sorry, I'm just clicking around the FAQ, and I've gotten to "would a polydactyl cat get a name change name?"

PAZ: What? They're born with those toes.

LIZ: "In most cases, polydactyl cats would not be given a name change name. Extra toes would not be very unusual in the clans."

JULIAN: I mean, that is true. It's pretty common.

LIZ: It is.

PAZ: Yeah, but also why would they get a name change when they-- you don't get more toes. You're born with those toes. Unless a wizard cursed you.

[laughter]

JULIAN: Oh, I'm really afraid to hear what this person thinks about gender and sexuality.

LIZ: Oh no.

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: I don't want to know.

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: Let's just talk about the wizard.

PAZ: Oh, I'm morbidly curious.

LIZ: [wizard voice] Fireheart, for your bravery, I will reward you.

PAZ: That's who that narrator was, the toes wizard.

LIZ: [wheezing too hard to continue the voice] Bloop bloop bloop, here you go.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Bye everyone, I'm done.

PAZ: Let's go lyrical naming.

JULIAN: Yeah, let's--

PAZ: The poets of Warrior Cat fandom.

JULIAN: "Lyricism rejects the strict rules of traditionalism and instead prioritizes aesthetics and individuality, which many fans find creatively freeing. Unlike traditionalism, there are no set rules that constitute whether a prefix or suffix is allowed. Some lyricists will still prefer to support the idea of a prefix suggesting a cat's appearance, but others will support prefixes that instead allude to a cat's history, or simply to a word that the namer likes.

Suffixes will sometimes suggest a cat's skills or personality, but the meaning of a suffix will change on an individual basis, and they will just as often allude to a cat's history, a namesake, or simply a word that the namer finds pleasing paired with the prefix. A good lyrical name is typically defined by its flow, aesthetic value, and use of evocative imagery, although judgment of these qualities tends to be subjective."

PAZ: This is just about vibes, which I support.

JULIAN: "Some fans differentiate between substyles of lyricism. More naturalist or low lyricism tends to reject names that the fan finds outlandish or silly, that reference objects that cats wouldn't know about, or that use words the cats consider sacred, such as star and moon in a canon setting.

More unbridled or high lyricism tends to allow virtually anything, as long as the fan finds them pleasing or pretty, and also encompasses fans who create deliberately silly names for the sake of humor. Naturalist or low lyricism essentially follows the style used by the Erin Hunter team in canon, especially in later arcs, when they started prioritizing using new and unique combinations of names."

PAZ: I'm starting to think Peyton is a low lyricist.

LIZ: Maybe, yeah.

PAZ: Cause Peyton just had issue with like you know, sacred words, objects they wouldn't know about. Wow. Sorry for thinking you were the most strict someone could be.

JULIAN: Yeah, I had no idea that you could get stricter, but here we are.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: Peyton, I'm so sorry.

PAZ: We slandered you.

LIZ: We've seen the traditionalist side now.

PAZ: Yeah. It's scary.

JULIAN: [laughs] "Controversies and discussion."

LIZ: Oh boy.

PAZ: This just sounds like a theological debate. "Traditionalism and lyricism are born from opposing ideologies about how to interpret and develop the canon naming system, and as such they have a history of conflict."

JULIAN: Yeah, this is just Protestantism versus Catholicism.

PAZ: It really is. "Some fans struggle to understand how the opposing system to the one they prefer could be fun or satisfying to use. Lyricists will often claim that traditionalism is uncreative, boring, uncanonical, and puts its users in a constraining box, while lyricism is freeing, creative, and loyal to canon.

Traditionalists will often respond that traditionalism defines choices that are much more meaningful and creates opportunities for building depth in the world and character relationships. For example, a creator might worldbuild a history of how certain suffixes develop, or a character might try to develop the skills to earn a certain suffix so they can be named after someone they admire. While in turn, they do not understand how lyricists could use a system that is so undefined and could create such outlandish names."

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Oh my god, the next paragraph.

JULIAN: "Due in part to the demographics of the fanbase."

LIZ: Noooo.

JULIAN: "These conflicts have often not been handled maturely."

LIZ: Wow. Ouch.

JULIAN: "And many fans can remember being belittled or harassed for their chosen naming system. Many fans can remember conflicts in which both parties would attempt to argue that their system was the one true naming system, and that the opposing system was lesser."

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: Wow. Ouch. Ouchie.

PAZ: This is so funny because the traditionalists, like, apparently-- like the first arc is their like Holy Bible. They won't hear anything else.

JULIAN: "Contemporary traditionalists generally accept that traditionalism is uncanonical, even in the first arc, but declare that they still prefer traditionalism to the canon system."

PAZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: You just made up a guy.

PAZ: You made up a guy, but there is a blog they are linking who is that guy.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Oh.

PAZ: "Certain worldbuilding trends can be observed between traditionalists and lyricists. Traditionalists are more likely to prefer more accurate genetics and a more grounded depiction of cat behavior, and will often prefer a limited or absent presence of magic that is similar to the first arc. Lyricists are more likely to embrace blatantly fantastical and supernatural elements, such as supernatural powers, ghosts, and wings." Fuck yes.

LIZ: Wings aren't supernatural.

JULIAN: I mean, they are on cats.

LIZ: They know what birds are.

PAZ: No, I think they mean the cats with wings.

LIZ: Oh. I forgot where we were.

PAZ: Yes, please. This was last edited five months ago.

LIZ: Oh my God, not soon enough. I want the updates.

JULIAN: This page has been locked.

LIZ: Oh no.

PAZ: Oh no. What happened?

LIZ: Something happened here.

PAZ: Can we look at the edits?

JULIAN: Or maybe it's just that I have been banned. I can't lock it because I don't have a log-- or I can't edit it because I don't have a login.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

LIZ: Can we view edits on here?

JULIAN: Yes. Okay, this entire page-- this whole page was created in 2021.

PAZ: What?

LIZ: Oh my God, what?

JULIAN: Yeah, the whole page was created March 13. This is so recent.

PAZ: What?

LIZ: How?

PAZ: What made someone be like I have to make this now?

JULIAN: There's no edit summary.

PAZ: It was our podcast.

JULIAN: Who is this person?

PAZ: They heard our podcast and were like I won't stand for this.

JULIAN: This person likes Dimension 20.

PAZ: Oh. Maybe they did hear our podcast.

LIZ: Oh my god, there's a good chance.

PAZ: If you're the person who made this wiki page, thank you for cataloguing this. I didn't know this existed.

LIZ: This is important archival work.

PAZ: Sorry for being so willy nilly here.

LIZ: Listen, whoever made this page, don't listen to us. We're just a bunch of silly schmucks. We don't know anything. We're just flying by the seat of our pants.

PAZ: Truly.

JULIAN: Oh, the real thing is that reading this traditionalism shit is like, if I had known about this at age 12, I would have been unbearable.

LIZ: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

PAZ: Extremely funny.

JULIAN: Like I was already a little shit like sort of just to myself, mostly, and a little bit on the forums about people's name choices. But like if I had known that there was a whole canon, that there was a whole set of rules that people had made that I could follow, and that was very strict, and very minute and detailed. Ooooh.

PAZ: Meanwhile, I as a child was reading fanfic about cats with wings and like self-inserts getting turned into cats and being like tigers. You know, all that stuff. If we had met as children we would have been diametrically opposed.

LIZ: Enemies.

JULIAN: I was a child who really liked lists. Like, my main contribution to the Warriors fandom besides RPing was that-- I think I've talked about this before, but I like painstakingly went through the first arc and copied down all of the places where like medicine cat herbs were listed.

PAZ: Yeah, I think you did.

JULIAN: And like made a little Word doc of them for the person who was going to be my medicine cat apprentice, so that they could use the right herbs for the right situation. And then three months later Secrets of the Clans came out and it had like all of that in it.

LIZ: Oh my god. No, I feel you.

PAZ: Tragedy.

LIZ: I would have printed this out, punched holes in it, and put it in my binder.

PAZ: No, I don't think I was that kind of child. Wow, this has been very informative.

JULIAN: Yeah, I wish there were links to anything other than this one person's blog. But.

PAZ: This is a very new article, though.

JULIAN: This is brand new. Also I feel like a lot of these debates have been lost to the mists of time.

PAZ: God, yeah.

JULIAN: Because I imagine--

PAZ: I would love to find an archive of them.

JULIAN: Yeah, I imagine most of them happened on the Warriors forum, especially if they were happening like when the first books were coming out.

LIZ: There are a lot of 20 somethings out there that must have memories, though. It's all oral history.

PAZ: I wish we could put out a call. How do we reach the people?

JULIAN: I mean, we've seen traces of it, certainly.

PAZ: Yes, certainly.

JULIAN: Oh, it's so funny to me that like name writing was such a big thing in the fandom.

PAZ: Yeah, but I mean, I guess names are definitely important in the series. I mean, there's like every time there's a name change, it's like a big scene or something. So that makes sense.

JULIAN: I also think it gives 12 year olds an outlet to judge other 12 year olds, which is very important.

PAZ: It's essential.

LIZ: It's the most important part of being a 12 year old, which is character creation.

JULIAN: That is true.

PAZ: Well, I don't have anything else to add. This plus the wizard narrator really took it out of me.

LIZ: Sorry, I am looking at one of the linked articles on lyrical naming, which is "On naming lyrical substyles." Can I just tell you what the types are, cause they're very good?

PAZ: Yes, please.

LIZ: There is temperate, or moderate lyricism. Unbridled lyricism. Of course, high and low lyricism.

JULIAN: Where do you think, where does Hadesclipse fall?

LIZ: Unbridled. No restraints.

PAZ: Free as the wind. Deep from the heart.

LIZ: Nothing here but aesthetics, emotion. We were trying to evoke something.

PAZ: Homer would weep.

LIZ: There are some jokey, some little jokey examples here of names. One of them is Tomorrowbanana.

PAZ: That's not in good faith. I'm here to defend lyricists. They put thought into their names.

JULIAN: Yeah, like even a lyricist is gonna-- even when we came up with Hadesclipse, we wanted that name to reflect his personality.

PAZ: Yes, which is evil and goth.

LIZ: Tomorrowbanana is me waiting for my banana to ripen.

JULIAN: There's a link to a blog called Global Traditional, which makes me very afraid.

LIZ: It does make-- you can't call something traditionalism.

PAZ: Yeah, I just want to say, calling something traditionalism, kind of a bad vibe.

JULIAN: Yeah, there's some whistling happening there.

PAZ: Yeah, you can come up--

JULIAN: Some cat whistles.

PAZ: Cat whistles.

LIZ: Meows?

PAZ: You got to come up with a different word for that. Like, I don't know, like, structural. That's also a thing, but.

LIZ: It's less.

JULIAN: Formalism.

PAZ: Less like Nazi ideology.

LIZ: A subsect of literary formalism, which is Warrior Cats literary formalism.

PAZ: That's right.

JULIAN: Oh, okay, actually this is kind of nice. It looks like-- I found this blog on the Wayback Machine. And it looks like it was a blog of someone trying to come up with like traditionalist names but like for fics that took place in different parts of the world.

PAZ: Oh.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: So like if you wanted to set your fic in like Kenya or something, you could like, have prefixes. It was like a resource for people to have prefixes that fit traditionalist whatever.

PAZ: That's a nice idea, I guess.

LIZ: Like native plants or something? That's cute.

JULIAN: Yeah, I guess.

PAZ: I guess like making a database when you're so strict, like that makes sense.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's just like lists of like different, like birds, and like other animals.

LIZ: That's pretty cute.

JULIAN: And like meanings that they might have for the cat or like colors or whatever.

LIZ: Okay, I think with that in mind, we should immediately make a cat name local to our areas of the world, please don't doxx us.

PAZ: Oh gosh. Okay.

JULIAN: Um.

PAZ: Give me a minute. But we gotta use those suffixes.

JULIAN: We got to use the traditional suffixes. Here, I can link you the thing from the Wayback Machine.

LIZ: Thank you. Thank you.

JULIAN: It's linking to Africa, but you can just click on North America.

PAZ: Oh, I was just gonna look up plants of nearby distinct ecosystem. Fern allies.

JULIAN: Panic grass?

LIZ: There we go. This cat has anxiety.

PAZ: I'm looking. Clammy azalea.

JULIAN: I love plant names. Nannyberry.

LIZ: Monkeyflower. Well, I'm done. Monkey hand tree, colloquially called Griff's wonder.

JULIAN: I think I also have one. Um, I need a suffix.

LIZ: Okay. I think I'm ready.

JULIAN: All right. Who wants to go first?

PAZ: You can.

LIZ: I'll go first. Um, anyway. As always, it's a secret where I live, please do not doxx me, but I am in California. You know, very small state, you'll be able to find me no problem. So my cat's name would be Succulenttail.

JULIAN: Oh, very good.

PAZ: Good.

LIZ: I'm not gonna take the obvious joke and make him like Weedpaw. This is a highbrow show. We don't take the easy bait. Succulenttail is a very dignified name.

JULIAN: I love him.

LIZ: Thank you.

JULIAN: Or them. So my cat is Asternose.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: Oh, that is great. Very cute.

JULIAN: Um, and I looked up asters. I was just looking for native plants in Massachusetts, which I am. Which is where I am, no doxxing, and up came this plant, which is very pretty. It's a purple plant. So I think that means that my cat is purple.

LIZ: Aw.

JULIAN: If we're going traditionally. My cat is purple and good at smelling.

PAZ: Beautiful.

LIZ: Love that.

PAZ: Well, I was looking at plants in New Jersey, specific part of New Jersey. No doxxing. My cat will be Dodderstep. And dodder is a type of parasitic plant.

JULIAN: Oh shit.

LIZ: Oooh.

PAZ: This is a fucked up evil cat.

JULIAN: Oh, I love this.

LIZ: This is very good.

PAZ: Perhaps an assassin. Step, you know, very light. Very sneaky.

LIZ: I didn’t know you guys were being serious. Shit.

PAZ: We gotta honor the naming system.

LIZ: Okay, give me a minute. Give me two seconds.

PAZ: Okay.

LIZ: Bluegrass, wait, no. Beardtongue. Fuck! These are all real plants. Aw, there’s something called a lemonade berry.

JULIAN: Ooh.

PAZ: Yeah, I tried to avoid plants that were already in two-part names.

JULIAN: Yeah, there were a lot of really good ones that I was like, oh, I can’t use this.

LIZ: I can be… hmm. Poppypelt.

JULIAN: I mean, listen, I still like Succulenttail. I think it’s great.

LIZ: It sounds like some sort of dish you’d order like at a mountain man themed restaurant. I’ll be like Poppypelt.

PAZ: Cute.

LIZ: That sounds like a fun cheerful fellow. Gender-neutral.

JULIAN: Yeah, like a little speckly cat.

LIZ: Maybe orange. How often do you see a speckled orange?

PAZ: Not often. That was great.

LIZ: You may notice that--

PAZ: I love to name cats.

LIZ: Yeah. I don’t know, you guys may notice that we just keep making and naming cats. And we are building up to that RPG.

PAZ: That’s right.

JULIAN: In true Warrior Cats RP fashion, we have made a bunch of OCs and immediately forgotten about them all.

PAZ: You know.

JULIAN: And that’s tradition.

PAZ: If we do that RP, we should get some listener-sourced names.

JULIAN: Ooh, yeah, that’d be good.

PAZ: I would love to hear everyone’s names.

LIZ: Yeah, we will need 30 to 40 NPCs introduced in the first episode.

PAZ: That’s right. That’s right.

JULIAN: We gotta have factions.

PAZ: Our magic cat school. Okay, I don’t know. I think that’s it, maybe.

LIZ: What was that thing called again, the collection of suffixes?

JULIAN: Oh, the Hallowed Collection of Suffixes?

LIZ: Yeah, that’s the first faction. We’re set.

JULIAN: There we go, you’re right.

PAZ: That’s definitely some religious sect.

JULIAN: Yeah, they’re like trying to blockade Mothermouth so no one can talk to Starclan except them.

PAZ: Everyone’s asking, what if Warrior Cats was Dark Souls?

LIZ: It is. What do you mean, what if?

PAZ: Yeah, Yellowfang’s the old witch NPC.

LIZ: Starclan just sounds like the old lady NPC.

PAZ: Yeah, apparently. Well, I think that’ll do it for us, right?

JULIAN: I think so.

PAZ: All right. Thank you, everyone, for tuning in this week. Next week we’ll be reading chapter 18 through 20. Also, I was thinking of putting up a poll on the Patreon to see which special edition book we should do first.

LIZ: Ooh, yeah.

JULIAN: Ooh, yes.

PAZ: I think we’re gonna try and stick to pre-first series books to avoid spoilers, kind of. I’m sure there’ll be spoilers, but since it’s-- what’s the word-- canonically earlier in the timeline, maybe there won’t be as many. So look forward to that. You can support us on Patreon at patreon.com/staircast. We will try and get something up there soon. There’s just been traveling happening.

LIZ: Oh, was there?

PAZ: Yeah. You can find the show on Twitter @staircast. You can email us at [email protected]. Can’t remember if there’s anything else. I think we mentioned episode transcriptions last time, but they’re going up still. And I think that covers it for now. Until next time, may Starclan light your path. Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

[outro music]

#ep 21 #transcript #forest of secrets ep #the hallowed collection of suffixes

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