Highway Hypnosis
Chapter 2: Cold Water
Joshua Cook–Joshy–is the son of Evergreen’s postmaster. He and Jasper Stevens and I used to run around at the creek together looking for smooth stones, which we’d put in old spaghetti sauce jars filled with water so that we could open them and know the smell of the river whenever we wanted. There were only eight kids our age in the whole of Evergreen, and these were the ones I chose. I lost Jasper the summer before I stopped visiting–he got all moody and started smoking cigarettes with his older brother’s friends behind the old chapel. Joshy said it was puberty, but I thought eleven was too young for that sort of thing even then. That was the way things went for us, so I stayed in touch with Joshy through sporadic emails and birthday cards and I let Jasper go. I hope the two of them stayed friends. Joshy is supposed to meet me at Uncle Len’s house; his father was entrusted with the key, and Joshy was entrusted with my wellbeing.
The house is just as I remember it. Built on a hill, like Noah’s Ark, so that the rain doesn’t flood the garden and drown the hydrangeas. Len painted the whole thing green when he bought the place, and to his credit he seems to have kept up with it. It’s small and eclectic, even from the outside, but it’s his. It’s him, and now it’s me and it’s mine. I get out of the car to stretch my legs and end up on the front steps with my back pressed into the edge of the porch. I look out at my feet in their white shoes–too white for a place called Evergreen, population 1200–and the crunch of gravel drags my eyes to the face of Joshua Cook, which is attached to a much taller and more athletic-looking Joshy than I remember.
“That can’t be our Homecoming Queen,” he calls, shielding his eyes from the sun as he trudges up the drive. I was never anybody’s homecoming queen, but he coined the nickname when we were young enough to rationalize that, because I was a girl who came home (“home” being a relative term) every summer, I must be his.
“Joshy,” I smile, standing to meet him. He hugs me tight, a real it’s-been-too-long type of hug.
“I’m sorry about Len,” he says because he has to, and then, even though he doesn’t have to, “you must be sick to death of hearing that.” I smile and nod.
“A little. Helps when I know you actually mean it,”
Joshy digs around in his pocket for a moment before producing a ring of keys. He dangles it before me, enticing me to take it, and I do. They’re regular keys, by which I mean they’re the size and shape of everyday house keys, but I swear to God they’ve got the weight and history of cast-iron skeleton keys, like something you’d use to unlock that little room off to the side of the Cathedra where they’re supposed to keep the relics. I haven’t been a religious woman since I was old enough to know better, but for a split-second holding these keys feels like standing on the precipice of something–Heaven or Hell, I don’t yet know.
“I can head home if you want some time to settle in, but if you wanted to take a little walk into town with me, I could introduce you to some people before my shift?” Joshy says, half-question and half-suggestion, “Or maybe re-introduce you? Not much has changed around here since you left.”
“Sure,” I say, “I’m in no rush.”
Joshy is as lively and chipper as I remember, perhaps in compensation for the less-than-cheerful circumstances of our reunion. He’s grown into what my mother would call a Fine Young Man, with broad shoulders and deep brown skin. He’s wearing jeans and sensible Washingtonian boots with a soft, oversized T-shirt. His presence, as ever in step with mine, puts me at ease; he is the boy who pushed me into the river, and I am the girl who pulled him in after me.
Gradually, I am re-introduced to Margaret at the bar, Jefferson at the roadside fruit stand, and Joshy’s father Leo at the post office. The counter at the general store, which is apparently owned by a woman named Melanie, currently houses a pair of long legs whose associated body is obscured by a comically large newspaper. The owner of the paper does not lower it as we enter, and Joshy rolls his eyes.
“I’m sure you remember Moss,” he says. I don’t.
“Moss?”
“Yep. Slow to grow on you,” he explains, “put it down, asshole.”
The person–Moss–lowers the paper to reveal a lanky, dark-haired man about my own age. His eyes are big and brown, and I know them. They chased me around trees and hid behind blindfolds during silly childhood games. Before I can identify them, their owner speaks.
“Eleven years,” he says. I’m taken aback–firstly, that he appears to have kept track of the passage of time since our last interaction, and secondly that he seems instantly and acutely aware of the fact that he knows me at all.
I nod, unsure of what else to do. “Almost exactly,” I reply. The man, who I now recognize as Jasper Stevens, hasn’t broken eye contact with me since he stood up. It’s an almost competitive stare, as if daring me to break first. I’m struck at once by the desire, left over from childhood, to shove him squarely backward into the counter and the inexplicable twentysomething urge to bury myself in his arms. It’s an aspect of my psychology that I’ve never been able to come to terms with, the innate need to seek comfort from those most unwilling to give it. The absolute knowledge, beyond all reasonable doubt, that whatever’s wrong with me will be fixed if the most withholding person in the room can only take a moment’s interest in me.
Jasper tilts his head to the side, resembling for a moment a particularly precocious cocker spaniel, and then speaks again. “Are you sticking around, Andie?”
“I think so,” I say, “at least for a while.”
“You think so?”
“I know. I am,” I say stupidly, clocking all at once that, assuming Jasper works at the general store full-time, I’ll probably have to see him every time I need groceries or ant traps or hand soap. Maybe I should reconsider. Jasper only nods, though.
“That’s good. I have something of Len’s, if you’ll be around I can give it to you.”
Joshy clears his throat, glancing between us with the nervous, fluttering air of someone who’s watching their in-laws and their parents interact for the first time. “Andie, are you okay if I head out? I told Janie I’d meet her before my shift,” he says. I recall that Janie is the name of Joshy’s longtime girlfriend, and smile inwardly. Joshy and Janie.
“Totally, I’ll head back to the house in a bit.”
“Call you tomorrow,” Joshy says, squeezing my shoulder before he leaves. As the bell above the door sounds its hair-raising alarm, I’m hit by the unwelcome realization that he could have been lying. I’m not sure what puts the idea in my head; there’s certainly no reasonable basis for it. Anyway, it would be an innocuous lie, so why am I suddenly uneasy? I roll my shoulders back and straighten my spine, standing tall against I don’t know what, and watch him go before turning back to Jasper.
The boy–it’s so difficult to see a man as anything else when you’ve known him in childhood–is gazing at me thoughtfully. No, not at me–through me. For one ridiculous moment I find myself wondering if he can see the inside of my brain, the panic of thoughts rushing through it, if he’s standing inside of it and letting it flow around him like a current. Then he changes. His face softens, like someone who’s just realized all their yelling is probably scaring the children in the vicinity, and I think for a moment that he might smile.
“Long drive, you must be tired,” he says gently.
“Exhausted,” I reply, “I think I’ve been hallucinating since Idaho.”
Jasper nods, oddly serene. “My shift ends in fifteen. If you hang out for a little bit I’ll drive you home.”
It’s a tempting offer, but something about the prospect of getting into a car with him, however short the drive may be, activates some kind of winged beast in me that beats against my ribcage in protest. “I’ve spent so much time in the car lately, I’d rather walk. Thank you, though.”
Jasper, again, nods his understanding. “Hang out anyway? For old times’ sake?”
“Why are you trying to keep me here?” I ask, trying halfheartedly to stifle the note of suspicion that threatens my speech. Jasper shrugs.
“I blew it the last time, and you never came back. I don’t like to repeat my mistakes.”
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Hey.
Surprise! Here's the final piece of the Walpurgis Nights crew watch The Rebellion Story!
Reminder:
G=Gretchen
H=Homulilly
Op=Ophelia
Ok=Oktavia
Ca=Candeloro/Mami
Ch=Charlotte
...
The room that Homulilly shared with her girlfriend Kriemhild Gretchen was an eclectic mix of Gretchen’s love for bright and cheery colors and Homulilly’s preference for the macabre, from the gothic desk lamp surrounded by tiny glass kittens to the imitation human skull adorned with a crown of daisies. A newcomer might find their spirits uplifted by how warm and welcoming it was, only to then feel quite unsettled once they noticed the more gloomy bits of décor.
Not now, though. Now it was all gloomy, and for once the reason was Gretchen.
The lights were out, the curtains drawn, and Gretchen was seated on the side of the bed, shoulders slumped in misery, her legs lying in limp curls all over the floor like wet spaghetti noodles. Her face was all blotchy from crying.
Homulilly’s chest tightened up. Carefully shutting the door behind her, she walked over to Gretchen, careful to not step on any of her legs, and sat down next to her.
“Um, are you...okay?” Homulilly said, folding her hands in her lap.
Swallowing hard, Gretchen stared down at the spiral patterns her legs had formed on the floor. “Yeah. But um, not really. I don't know.”
Fortunately, the two of them knew each other so well that Homulilly didn’t have any difficulty sorting out what Gretchen meant. Gretchen was fine in that she wasn’t hurt, in any danger, and would probably be fine before too long, but she was very upset and feeling really confused.
“Are you mad at me?” Homulilly said.
Sniffling, Gretchen grabbed a tissue from the box on the nightstand and blew her nose. “A little. But not really,” she said as she tossed it into the wastebasket.
Homulilly considered that answer. Everything in the movie had been so confusing in how to related to the residents of the house that it was hard to separate the two.
“Are you...more upset about what Homura did to Madoka, or what she did to herself?” she said.
Gretchen made a face. “I...I’m not sure. I mean, why did she do that to her? To Madoka, I mean. She was getting her happy ending! They were going to be together. Like us! Isn’t that what she wanted?”
Before Homulilly could respond, Gretchen immediately launched into the rebuttal. “And I know! Kyubey would try again! But did she have to do it like that? Couldn’t she have gone with Madoka and then they could’ve come up with something together after?”
Homulilly shrugged. “Maybe. But I don't think Homura wanted that.”
“Why?”
“I think...I think Homura just...broke. I think she was so messed up by...by everything that had been done to her, everything she went through that she...couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Okay, but why do that?”
“Because it was the only way she could have any control over anything.”
Her brow furrowing, Gretchen glanced over to Homulilly in confusion.
“Think about it,” Homulilly urged. “Everything she tried, she failed. Going back in time didn’t work. She had to watch you...um, watch Madoka die over and over again. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t win. And then Madoka made her big, witch-erasing wish, it took her away from Homura for good. She lost again.”
Now Gretchen was fully turned toward Homulilly, silently listening.
“It’s like what we said earlier. I think Homura told Kyubey about Madoka and the wishes because she was so miserable in the new world without Madoka that she was almost hoping that he’d do something like what he did. She wanted Madoka back. But when he did, it ended up being in the worst way possible. Even when she got what she wanted, she still lost!”
Letting out a long and slow exhale, Homulilly said, “No matter what she did, she always ended up as a pawn in someone else’s agenda. Even going with Madoka wouldn’t have changed that.”
Gretchen fell silent, mulling over Homulilly’s words. Then she sniffed, blew her nose, and muttered, “I…I get it. At least I think I do. I just don’t think…I don’t think she should have done what others were doing to her. And I definitely don’t like how she was calling herself evil! Hasn’t the world been cruel enough to her, without her being cruel to herself?”
Homulilly found herself thinking back to her first few years as, well, herself, back when she and Gretchen had found themselves in the care of the Freehaven Integration Bureau. She had not liked herself very much back then, and it had taken a lot of work from both herself and those around her to help work past all those doubts and insecurities to accept herself for who she was. She could only imagine the absolute depths of the self-loathing that plagued Homura Akemi.
“Maybe we should stop, then,” she said. “Charlotte was right. This was a bad idea.”
“Stop?” Despite how much the movie had distressed her, Gretchen seemed even more upset by the idea of not finishing it. “We can’t! We can’t just leave things like that!”
“But what if what happens next is even worse?”
Again Gretchen did not respond, though her curling legs suddenly lay flat, indicating that she was deep in thought.
Then, so suddenly that it took Homulilly by surprise, she sprang up, all twelve legs lifting her almost all the way to the ceiling.
“Then at least we’ll know,” she said, the determination evident in her voice. “But I can’t have all that eating at my mind. I need to know how it turns out.”
For as sweet and unassuming as Gretchen was, when she had her mind set on something, it was impossible to deter her. And honestly, Homulilly did agree. “Okay,” she said, standing up as well. “Let’s finish this nightmare.”
…
=Homulilly and Gretchen return=
G: Hey.
Op: Oh, uh, hi.
Ca: Gretchen, are you-
G: I’m fine. I’m sorry I ran out like that.
Op: And are you two-
H: We talked it over. We’re okay.
Op: Okay. Because if you want to stop…
G: I told you. I need to see how this ends. I can’t just leave things like that. But I promise I won’t run out again.
Ok: Okay then. Um, let’s again remind ourselves that this is an alternate Bad Future and none of this actually happened, and we’re all happy together, okay?
Ca: Agreed.
Op: Right there with yah, babe.
Ch: Sounds good to me.
G: Yes. Right. This didn’t happen.
Ch: Well, if you believe in multiverse theory-
H: Just play the movie.
…
Ch: Okay, so, we’re in the real world now?
Ca: I think so. Albeit one that Homura’s…overwritten.
G: What does that even mean? Is she God now? And don’t call her the Devil!
Op: Why are you looking at me? I wasn’t going to say it.
Ok: You were thinking it.
Op: I was thinking it a little.
…
H: Well, apparently the new God likes to have tea parties in the middle of the street.
Ok: For reasons.
Ca: Oh. It’s…me. Well, at least I’m still alive.
Ok: What the hell was that blue mouse thing?
Ca: Um, that was…one of Charlotte’s familiars.
Ch: I-
Op: What was it doing outside of a labyrinth? Actually, you know what? I don’t care. My weird threshold has been thoroughly maxed out.
H: How do you even remember what her familiars look like? Wasn’t that over twenty years ago?
Ca: Believe me, some things still out in the memory.
Ok: Wait, I changed first, right? Did I have familiars?
Ca: You two merged pretty quickly, and by then we were done with the familiars.
Ok: So, me and Charlotte joined souls before anyone else.
=thoughtful pause=
Ch: I refuse to entertain this line of thought any further.
Ok: Ouch. Tell me how you really feel.
Ch: Oh, for the love of…
…
H: Who am I talking to?
Op: Um, the waiter? Yourself?
Ok: Oh! There goes your cup.
Ch: Clumsy God.
Ca: Is that feather from Homura’s wing? How’d I-Never mind.
…
Op: Oh. I’m here, now. Feeding the birds.
Ok: That you are.
Op: Yup. Just me feeding the fucked-up birds that I suppose I can actually see.
Ch: You don’t seem very concerned.
Op: Maybe they just look like magpies to me?
Ok: It is nice of you to be so sharing with the unholy abominations.
Op: Oh, thanks a lot, you fucked-up children! Made me waste an apple! Ungrateful little brats.
Ch: You do look kind of cool looking over everyone from that tree, though.
Op: I always look cool. Looking cool is my default. Get on my level, scrubs.
…
Ok: Oh. Me.
G: You look angry.
Ok: Well, apparently I have a bullshit detector.
Ca: We’re not going to see another fight, are we?
Ch: It’s a little late in the movie for another action scene.
Op: Besides. Homura would absolutely wipe the floor with her.
Ok: Hey!
Op: Sorry, babe. But she’s God now. You’re just a little outclassed.
Ok: Hey, I can beat up a god. Just watch me. Bring me a god right now, and I’ll beat them up.
H: You sure you want to go?
Ok: You’re no god.
H: Are you sure about that? Maybe I’ve been one this whole time and just never told anyone.
=Charlotte eyes her suspiciously=
…
Ch: On the one hand, you really got to admire how fluid the animation is. On the other, what the hell is she doing with her hands?
Ok: You do weird things with your hands all the time!
Ch: I’m autistic. It’s called stimming. Homura’s just doing it to be dramatic.
Op: She is pretty extra, not gonna lie.
G: Wait, she only captured my human part? What about the rest of me?
Op: Dunno. Maybe it’s still there. Being God.
Ok: So, there’s two Gods now?
Ch: More God and-
=Gretchen glares=
Ch: -and okay, never mind.
…
G: You’re not evil! Stop calling yourself-Huh?
Ch: And Homura’s familiars have all decided to take a swan dive. Would that even kill them?
Op: Somehow, that’s less disturbing than how much they’re smiling.
Ok: WOW! She’s leaning in awfully close! Personal bubble, come on!
Ch: See? She just likes being dramatic.
H: Do I ever get that dramatic?
Op: You have your moments, but this is way over the top.
Ok: Oh, so Sayaka can just summon me up whenever she needs someone’s ass kicked. Gotta admit, I don’t know how I feel about that.
Ch: It does raise a lot of weird questions about the connection between Puella Magi and witches.
Op: At least she didn’t stab her own heart out this time.
Ch: I don’t know. That was pretty metal.
G: You guys are sick.
…
Ok: Oh, hang on, what is she doing to me?
H: Oh, no.
Ca: I have a feeling that she’s wiping Sayaka’s memories.
Ok: I did not consent to this!
Op: None of us did.
H: I’m starting to…I’m really starting to dislike where this is-Wait, did I just get beaned by a tomato?
Ch: Her own familiars threw it. That is some deep self-loathing.
H: What is it going to take? When will you finally be satisfied?
Op: Starting to have second thoughts?
H: I already did. Look, I’m not going say I didn’t enjoy what I-Damn. What she did to Kyubey. But brainwashing everyone is too far!
G: Homulilly…
H: And she is just playing into the whole “Devil” thing way too hard! Oh, look at me, I’m so edgy, I’m dancing around in a skanky black dress calling myself evil! Why don’t you get a pipe organ going while you’re at it?
G: I liked the dress, though…
Ch: Would this be a bad time to point around that they again have me prancing around in the background like the idiot child I’ve been made out to be?
H: Yes. You’ve had your turn to complain about your other self. Now it’s mine.
…
Op: And…memories gone!
Ok: So, wait, did I just never die now? Are all my cool Archangel powers gone?
Ca: It does seem to be-
G: Oh! Hitomi.
Ok: And violin-boy. Super.
Op: Well, they’re not surprised to see you, so I guess literally everything got wiped away.
G: Look, she’s crying! She still cares about them!
Ok: Well, yeah. They were my friends. Er, still are, I guess.
Op: At least you’ve moved on. Hey, wait, are we still together?
Ok: Oh, if Homura wiped that out, then I going to be so…
…
Ch: Your teacher is still on that bullshit.
Ca: Nice to know some things never change.
H: Is there…Is there a specific reason why Homura’s in the class? She literally rewrote the universe and set herself up as its new Dark God. She doesn’t have to go to school!
Op: Besides, with all that timelooping she’s done, she ought to have enough credits to graduate any university a dozen times over.
Ok: Pretty sure doing and redoing the same section in your textbook over and over again doesn’t equal a degree’s worth of knowledge.
G: Oh, wait, what? Why am I…
Ch: Did…Hang on, wasn’t Homura the transfer student?
G: I guess…she switched our places?
H: Why does she looks so maliciously bored, though? Isn’t this what she wanted?
Ch: Finally got the whole universe rearranged just how she wants, and it still feels like she’s just going through the motions.
…
Op: Well, give Madoka credit. Day one and she’s already assembled a harem.
Ok: Jealous much?
Op: Nah. Mine’s bigger and less…underaged.
G: You have a harem?
Ch: Have you seen the girls at her studio fawn over her?
Ok: It’s the suits.
Op: And the swagger. Ladies love a confident woman who knows how to dress.
G: Wait, a grade-schooler? Did that girl just say Madoka looks like a grade-schooler?
Ch: Um, yes?
G: Well, she’s wrong! I am definitely not a kid!
Ok: Well, your style is a little more grown-up than Madoka’s is. And hey, she really is like fourteen, so that’s technically a kid.
G: Not a grade-schooler, though! And I’m the same age as those girls are! Um, I mean, she is.
Op: Hey, Homulilly. Wouldn’t that mean-
H: There is no force in this universe or any other than could compel me to get involved in this conversation.
Op: Noted.
…
Op: And the Queen Bee arrives to scatter off the competition.
G: Oh, thank goodness.
Ok: Come on. Don’t you want a bunch of pretty girls as admirers?
G: No! They were being weird!
H: Yes, because Homura is so much better.
Op: Wow. You soured on her fast!
H: If she had just stuck to regaining Madoka and ruining Kyubey then it would at least be understandable. But now she’s brainwashing people, erasing their memories, and changing their lives to create her perfect world. That’s too far.
Ok: Um, would I sound crazy if I said that I still kind of get it?
=everyone stares at her=
Ok: Okay, just hear me out. I know what she’s doing is fucked up. But look at just how much she’s been jerked around by literally everyone and everything. No matter what she did, no matter how hard she fought, no matter what she suffered and sacrificed, it was ruined by stuff that she couldn’t control. So she snapped and took all the control. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t at least get it.
Ch: Um, can’t say I really disagree, but did you catch the part about her switching up Madoka’s life so Madoka was the one who was gone for a long time?
Ok: Yeah?
Ch: So, wouldn’t that meant that she kind of erased Madoka and Sayaka’s friendship? Maybe as a way to get Sayaka permanently out of the way?
Ok: Oh. Oh, wow.
H: That’s what I mean. She’s…basically playing dolls with all of you. And while I do still understand it, it doesn’t really justify any of it.
Ca: Maybe this isn’t about what’s morally right or wrong. Maybe it’s not about good guys or bad guys. Maybe it’s about what happens when someone is unfairly pushed too far for too long and is never allowed to win.
…
Ok: They’re just really driving in the whole creepy vibe, aren’t they?
H: Was that closeup of her mouth really necessary?
Op: You know, for someone who literally rewrote the universe to give herself what she always wanted, you’d think she’d be enjoying it more.
Ok: Um…phrasing.
Op: That’s not what I mean! I mean, why is she being so weirdly distant and standoffish? She got the Madoka that she wanted, everything that was in the way now isn’t, literally nothing can keep her from finally making this…whatever it is work. So why is she acting so weird about it?
Ch: Well, if I had to guess, maybe she doesn’t know how to do it any other way? I mean, she’s done the whole Reset Time, Protect Madoka thing for so long, she probably can’t turn it off.
H: Also, she hates herself.
Ok: Wow.
H: I mean it. Remember that tomato? She hates herself for what she did, so she can’t even let herself enjoy it! This is her first meeting with the new Madoka, and she’s already sabotaging things!
Op: Damn.
Ch: That’s a good point. And didn’t she also do the same thing back in her witch’s labyrinth? I mean, that also was her version of a perfect world.
G: That’s sad. She deserves so much better.
H: Well, maybe she did…
G: She still does! Candeloro was right. She got pushed too far!
…
Ch: Oh, hang on. Is she remembering?
Op: Well, here’s a twist.
H: That got reaction out of Homura. She definitely didn’t expect this!
G: So am I going to get my powers back?
=cooldown hug=
G: Oh. Guess not.
Ok: Wait, did you want her to remember? Because that would probably lead to a fight!
Ch: God, can you imagine what that fight would look like? Probably rip the world to shreds.
H: I don’t think they would fight, even then.
Op: How would you resolve this, then?
H: I…am very glad that I don’t actually have to come up with an answer to that question.
Ch: …so, are the ribbons symbolic of something, or…
…
Ok: Is there a word for when something is really sad but also really fucked-up in a disturbing sort of way?
Op: The Rebellion Story.
Ch: =snorts back laughter=
Ca: And the sun sets on an oblivious city.
Ok: Oh, hello! Is that us meeting?
Op: Thanks for spilling my pocky.
Ok: No matter what the universe, nothing can keep us apart!
Ch: Aaannnddd a bunch of random familiars, just hanging out!
H: I’m thinking that they’re Homura’s minions now.
Ch: Oh. Great. Me.
Op: About to be crushed by cheese. How appropriate.
Ca: No, I’m there to save you! So we can be together as well!
=everyone stares=
Ca: Granted, in a purely…platonic sense. Because…I got nothing.
Ch: Shoulda just let me get crushed.
Ok: It’s how you always wanted to go.
…
Ch: Okay, that way to Good Morning, and that way to the Country of Sweets?
Ok: I kind of wanna see what that second one is like.
Op: I’m more interested in Good Morning. Is the whole place just perpetually stuck in the AM hours?
G: Oh! It’s my family!
Op: Well, at least you’re all back together and…about to get crushed by all those boxes. Seriously, what’s with huge piles of stuff just tumbling down in slow motion?
H: Maybe Homura messed up the gravity settings.
Ok: Um, what’s that spinning thing above the city?
Ch: Big Sister is watching you!
Op: And the Godoka statue. Because symbolism.
Ok: And…Wow, it’s over!
H: Thank! God.
Ok: Oka.
=Homulilly glares=
Ok: Sorry.
Ch: And roll credits!
Op: This song is way too cheery for what we were just subjected to.
Ok: And that’s not even getting to the visuals. Did the people who put this together even watch the film?
…
Op: Oh. An after-credits scene. That’s neat.
H: Oh, damn it.
Ok: Hey, it’s you!
H: No, it’s not!
Ch: Is there a reason why that hill has half of itself just missing?
H: Is there a reason why Homura set her chair all the way on the edge?
Ca: And the rat is here. Fantastic.
Op: Oh. More dancing. That’s-WOW!
Ok: Oh-ho-ho! Kyubey got fucked up!
H: At least she did that. I’ll give her that much.
G: Wait, huh?
Op: Um…
Ok: Did Homura just take a swan dive off a cliff?
Ch: More of a long tilt, and…Um.
H: …well, it’s not like it’ll kill her.
Op: Yeah, but I still have many questions.
Ch: It’s probably symbolic of her paradoxical self-loathing. Here she is, finally having gained everything she ever wanted, her greatest enemy lies defeated while she dances in victory with the symbol of her newfound power, and she caps it off by symbolically committing suicide. You know, like her familiars did earlier!
Op: No, I get that, it’s just…why?
Ch: I just said why.
Op: Not the writers, her! Why did she just off a cliff? It can’t hurt her, she’ll just end up lying at the bottom looking foolish. Why?
Ok: Probably just to be dramatic.
Op: Kind of pointless to do it without an audience.
Ch: You mean like us? We’re watching.
Op: Yeah, but does she know that?
Ch: I don’t know. Probably.
=silence=
Ok: Did anyone else feel a sharp chill running down your back?
…
Ch: Well, that’s…that’s the movie. That’s a look of how we all would have ended up if you all didn’t turn into witches while fighting me.
Ok: Hey, Candy. You said I was the first one to witch out, and that set the rest of you off, right?
Ca: Uh, r-right.
Ok: Okay. Well, you’re welcome.
=simultaneous sigh=
Op: Any thoughts?
H: Plenty. But most of them really should be told to a therapist.
Ch: Okay, I’m tearing the bandage off. Homura. Let’s talk about her.
G: Don’t.
H: No, we should. And you guys don’t need to remind me that it wasn’t really me. I know that. But it’s still pretty hard to watch.
G: What happened to her was horrible! No one should ever be pushed to that point.
Ok: Yeah, not gonna lie, I still don’t know how I feel about what she did. I mean, on the one hand, I do kind of get it, and sure, everyone’s alive again and all happy together, but on the other…
H: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m glad that she finally made Kyubey pay. But I can’t excuse what she did to all of you. She stole your memories and rebuilt your lives the way she wanted them to be, in a manner that was convenient for her. That’s just…not okay.
Ch: I think Candeloro had an interesting point earlier. Maybe Homura had been pushed to a point where moral judgments don’t really apply anymore.
H: Wait, so you’re saying that if someone suffers enough, they should have free reign to do whatever they please?
Ch: Of course not. I’m saying her case is unique. And it kind of is outside of our jurisdiction to judge.
H: But it was your lives she was playing with! Sayaka and Madoka were best friends, and she just took all of that away! Everything you had all fought for, everything you had endured-
Op: Lilly, she’s not saying Homura was justified, she’s saying that this whole situation is way out of her wheelhouse. It’s like trying to judge the Ideal Witches from our limited perspective.
Ca: I don’t know. I can think of a few things they can be judged for.
H: Well, I’d say even Homura agrees with me, seeing how much she still hated herself.
Ok: I’m just saying I can’t see her as evil, or whatever she’s calling herself.
Ch: There’s this saying I read once. ‘A child neglected by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.’ Basically, it was a cautionary tale about mistreating someone for too long.
H: But who was mistreating her? Like I said, I’m totally on board with her screwing over the Incubators. It’s just what she did to her friends that I have a problem with!
G: Then I guess what happened to all of us was for the best. We avoided that fate. And Homura, Madoka, Sayaka, Kyoko, Mami, and, um…D-Did we get a name for you?
Ch: I’d like to be left out of that list.
G: Right. Well, whoever you were, we all got our happy ending. None of that stuff happened!
Ch: Yeah, uh, speaking of which: fuck that kid!
Op: Wow. Speaking of self-loathing.
Ch: Ugh, it’s just so…You all were recognizable. But for me, they went with literally the most annoying depiction possible!
Op: Uh, who is ‘they’?
Ch: The writers!
Op: Right. The writers. Who are writing out our lives.
=long silence=
Ch: Well, those are some fucked-up implications.
Ok: Well, on the bright side, I’d like to say at the very least, Sayaka and Kyoko made for an awesome duo. So they got that much right!
G: I wish I had more to do.
Ok: You were literally God.
G: But I didn’t even know that until the end! And then only for like thirty seconds!
H: See what I mean?
Op: I liked the Cake Song. Can we rewatch the part with the Cake Song?
Ch: No.
Ok: I’m still going to go to bat for the soundtrack, though. There were some awesome tunes.
Op: Cakey. Cakey. Round cakey…
Ok: And some utterly bizarre ones.
Ch: The animation was fantastic. Trippy, but fantastic.
Op: That gun battle was amazing.
H: That part was cool.
Ca: And who won?
H: You’re not going to let that go, are you?
G: Well, as…upsetting as the end might have been, the story isn’t finished. It does seem like there’s supposed to be a follow-up. So maybe all those problems will be fixed!
H: I hope so.
Ok: Well, until then, I guess we can go get caught up and watch the show-
Everyone: NO!
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