#dysmorphia tw

[greathoughtsphilosopy]

I'm really obsessed with the idea of detachment lately, especially in film, or I guess I have been for a long time. I rarely see disassociation represented through like the whole runtime of a film or short and I think its a bit underutilized. I think most films I've seen focus completely on on the relationship between light and sound, its only normal considering how films has developed over time, but there was a period where there was video created and then a sound to accompany it, like how there are loads of soundtrack interpretations to Meshes of the Afternoon . I think a middle ground can probably be possible where the absence of a relationship between light and sound is established before a connection can be, I'd want to make it develop overtime but never fully connect. Living with PTSD brings me interesting experiences overall, but definitely the most interesting is the constant detachment. Between defense mechanisms and gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, I'm almost never present in my own body. Feels like I'm in a dream state unless I put in the effort to be present in the moment. As such what I'm seeing and what my senses are experiencing are often very different from what I'm hearing and what I'm processing of the world around me. The experience of going nonverbal only exacerbates this. This has gotten me thinking about how I can represent this through film or music, as that's how I heal I think if I ever got actual funding for a second short film or managed to do it on my own budget in a while, this is what I'd develop. The idea that's been bouncing around in my head is two lovers hashing things out that they've been holding in for a while. They're in a small boat on a river, the sun is low in the sky, and they just let it all out. I wouldn't let the camera ever see them , I'd just have it focus on the boat, the boat and the sky and the shadows on the wall and the refractions from the sun light dancing on the ripples in the river. And the framing of the mast against the centre cabin. And the gentleness of the motion of the travel. And the blinding beams of light from the shipyard as we pass it. And the lapping of the waves against the hull. And the floorboards for a long while. The things I'd be looking at if I were there, but I'd always still be listening. and so would the viewer Id hope this is hardly the account to be posting this on but its too long to be putting on my twt and thats where people would get the urge to maladapt the idea in any case. I feel a bit safer posting here even though I'm probably breaking character. Or maybe this is still super in character to just start talking about this out of the blue. I don't think I know what my gimmick account is anymore! !! In any case, this might not be up for too long Lol

#dysphoria tw #dysmorphia tw #ptsd tw #great thoughs Thinking about This again

[amethystsoda]

It’s finally dysmorphia hoodie season!!!! 🍁🍁🍁

#hoodies let you temporarily stop worrying about your body y’know? #dysphoria pals know the feeling too #dysmorphia hoodie #dysmorphia mention #dysmorphia tw

[thedelolos]

Briar sits on the bed. It is not their bed. They refuse to acknowledge that it is their bed, for this is not their life. 

This is the life of Betty. This is Betty's bed, in Betty's room. Betty is sick, Betty needs to be fixed. That is why Betty is here in the hospital. 

The nurses keep calling Briar, Betty. Betty is old and has grey hair and wrinkly skin. There’s a shock of white that splits her frizzy crown in two and her head is foggy and full, like someone has filled it with ash and smoking embers.

Briar did not look like Betty a few weeks ago. Briar looked youthful and alive, they were in love and were loved. Their hair fell into neat curls and their eyes sparkled in violet hues. Briar had command, an element of power. Betty has none.

But Briar is not Betty, and Betty is not Briar and now the lines seem to be blurring. They keep losing things. The memories are rich and fleeting. They cannot remember their birthday, or the name of the blue-eyed cat that sat in their window. They’ve lost the names of, 1, 2, 3 lovers. They cannot call out for them even if they knew their names, there will be no response other than the howls from the other patients. There is nobody to save them from this fate. 

They’ve forgotten the smell of juniper and elderberry, replaced by the unsettling, burning scent of chemicals. They’re forgetting magic, the shadows don’t bend in quite the same way. They have to strain to produce even the most minor tricks, leading to atrophy. 

They’ve only been here weeks, or has it been months now? The time ebbs and flows to its own accord. Briar used to know so much and now they know so little. Betty knows so little. 

You’re Briar. 

Briar.

Briar.  

“Betty, the doctor is waiting for you.” 

No. No Doctor, anything but the doctor. He will hollow me out. No doctor. 

Briar reaches up to hit the nurse and the nurse stumbles backwards. Another nurse enters the room with a syringe. “Now, Betty, don't be difficult. The Doctor is ready for your procedure.” 

Briar kicks, and screams, but Betty is old. They feel the puncture of the syringe. The cooling sedative in their bloodstream. Betty’s eyes droop as sees loaded into the wheelchair and carted out of their hospital room.         

#whumptober2023 #no.2 #lyric #delirium #Ravenloft OC #fic #needles tw #hospital tw #mental hospital tw #abuse tw #dysmorphia tw

[getting-butterflies]

trying to draw my self and my body without getting insecure and dysmorphic challenge: FAILED

#this isnt fair i wanna draw a ref of myself so i can get art of me smooching gary and draw my own art of smooching gary #kills my brain for this #vent #body dysmorphia #dysmorphia tw #tw dysmorphia

[once-was-muses]

Jonathan’s self consciousness is no secret, but few realize (or care to realize) the extent it goes to, or if they do they tease him for it. Similar to the teasing and more extreme methods of heckling for his looks he’s fallen victim to throughout his life. He is utterly disgusted with his physical appearance, his facial features, his weight and skinny build, his unusual features (i.e. pointed ears, abnormal height, arachnodactyly) only making it harder to dispell these feelings. Unsurprisingly, the Scarebeast mutation and it’s side effects don’t help either, convincing him that he’s a freak. To make matters worse, he’s internalized the notion that he’s undeniably misshapen and so horribly incongruous with “acceptable” appearances that he’s practically monstrous, making it debatable that anyone could truly ever convince him otherwise.

Furthermore, though he hides the depth of it well, he’s endlessly frustrated with his health conditions. He despises his anisotropia for reasons including and beyond his love for reading; his arthritis isn’t just a problem when trying to run from Batman, it can flare up so bad he can’t stand for hours at a time, humiliating him even when completely alone; he knows he needs to eat more than he does, but can’t convince nor force himself to; etc., etc.

Additionally, while he knows they can be helpful in some regards and does play with gender expression at times, he’s equally disgusted with his feminine features. His long and full eyelashes, his high cheekbones, his prominent lips- beyond just his face, he knows his shoulders are less broad than most men’s, his waist is too thin, his hips are too wide. Consequently, being called “pretty” or “beautiful” may upset or even anger him depending on his mood.

#Offered Insight : headcanons #Miasma of Fear : Scarecrow #Such is Predestined : queue tag #dysmorphia tw #dysphoria tw

[who-is-muses]

Jonathan’s self consciousness is no secret, but few realize (or care to realize) the extent it goes to, or if they do they tease him for it. Similar to the teasing and more extreme methods of heckling for his looks he’s fallen victim to throughout his life. He is utterly disgusted with his physical appearance, his facial features, his weight and skinny build, his unusual features (i.e. pointed ears, abnormal height, arachnodactyly) only making it harder to dispel these feelings. Unsurprisingly, the Scarebeast mutation and it’s side effects don’t help either, convincing him that he’s a freak. To make matters worse, he’s internalized the notion that he’s undeniably misshapen and so horribly incongruous with “acceptable” appearances that he’s practically monstrous, making it debatable that anyone could truly ever convince him otherwise.

Furthermore, though he hides the depth of it well, he’s endlessly frustrated with his health conditions. He despises his anisotropia for reasons including and beyond his love for reading; his arthritis isn’t just a problem when trying to run from Batman, it can flare up so bad he can’t stand for hours at a time, humiliating him even when completely alone; he knows he needs to eat more than he does, but can’t convince nor force himself to; etc., etc.

Additionally, while he knows they can be helpful in some regards and does play with gender expression at times, he’s equally disgusted with his feminine features. His long and full eyelashes, his high cheekbones, his prominent lips- beyond just his face, he knows his shoulders are less broad than most men’s, his waist is too thin, his hips are too wide. Consequently, being called “pretty” or “beautiful” may upset or even anger him depending on his mood.

#Offered Insight : headcanons #Miasma of Fear : Scarecrow #dysmorphia tw #dysphoria tw

[mushe-room]

-

#dysmorphia tw #my eyes dont always look like that right #right

[beehoneyseyy]

did i binge or did i eat the recommended amount of calories for someone my age?

#body dysmorphia #ed not sherran #tw ana shit #b0dy ch3ck #b0n3sp0 #i hate calories #i wanna lose weight #annarexya #⭐️ving #th!nsp0

[t-a-k-a-k-o]

I want to be considered "dainty" and "petite"

I want to be tiny

I want people to pick me up and be surprised at how light I am

I want to be the one given piggy back rides for once

I want to have people joke about me flying away in the wind

I want people to wrap their fingers around my wrist

I want to be forced into the middle seat of a car

I want to not be ashamed to sit on someone

I want to look breakable

I want to bruise easily

I want people to be gentle with me, scared they will break me

I want to be someone's thinspo

I want people to swoop me into their arms

I want to be carried without hearing heavy breathing

I want to look cute when eating food, not like a pig

I want to be able to count my ribs

I want to trace my bones

I want people to not be disgusted by me

I want to not be disgusted by myself

I want to be skinny, tiny, fragile

please

#thinnerpls #thigh g4p #an@rexi@ #mi@ #purg1ng #th1gh g@p #pro for me not for thee #3d blog #sk1nny legs #🕯️as a feather #@na motivation #tw purge #th1n$pø #i need to lose this weight #i need to lose so much weight #i wanna be tiny #i need to be weightless #⭐️vation goals #⭐️ve #tw mia #bulim14 #body dysmorphia #tw restriction #thin$po #thinspø #urge to purge #light as a feather #ana rant #tw 3d vent #@na vent

[jokine]

i wanna fucking rip my skin off

i hate how i look so much it makes me want to bleed so badly UGH KILL ME

#self h@rm #styroblr #i want to cvt #sh things #tw s3lf harm #tw self destruction #988blr #healing cvts #tw self destructive behavior #baby cvts #⭐️ving #ana rant #ana bllog #i wanna be skinnier #body dysmorphia

[astaroth1357]

Demonic Adjustments:

Content Warning: (fantasy) body dsymorphia

Lucifer: Had to get used to the extra weight on his skull added by the horns. His head would keep tipping from side to side for several days after the Fall as he worked out how to unconsciously keep them balanced. Dia thought it looked hilarious. He also kept getting wing cramps because he unconsciously raised them whenever he was anxious or irritated.

Mammon: Thought the straps over his shoulders and chest would dig into him too much so he'd just walk around completely bare-chested until Barbs made him stop. Discovered that if he got scared by something, he'd squawk REALLY loud. He had to task Belphie and Levi to pop out at him from around corners until he could get it under control.

Levi: Felt like his newly extended tongue was going to choke him if he kept it in his mouth, so he'd let it just droop out for the longest time. He'd have to wet it down to keep it from drying out too, so he would literally do the snake-tongue thing until Asmo got onto him for how creepy it looked. He had no idea how to sit on things with his tail so he would either sit on the floor or sideways in his chair until Barbatos coached him on big-tail etiquette.

Satan: Had a straight up baby giraffe moment when he first can into existence. Couldn't figure out how his limbs were supposed to work and flailed/flopped around for about ten minutes while growling and hissing at anyone who tried to help him.

Asmo: Originally had a scorpion tail, but it horrified him so much that he begged Lucifer to ask Diavolo to remove it for him. Dia eventually relented and ordered Barbatos to remove it and replace it with wings afterwards because that's what he's more used to having. Keeping the wings small and cute looking was Asmo's idea, of course.

Beel: Constant. Buzzing. He had restless wings when he first fell and being around him was like standing next to a buzzsaw. He eventually discovered that exercise was a good way to expend his body's extra energy and burn through his anxiety, so Barbatos set up a gym in the Castle for him. The buzzing stopped shortly after that.

Belphie: Would regularly wake up wrapped up in his own tail, so he took to clutching onto it in the night to "keep it under control." He had the hardest time walking/lifting his head due to the size of his horns. He would regularly get his head stuck in things because he would fall alseep in odd places and then his horns would get caught whenever his body shifted.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #“passing thought” #“barely proofread” #avoiding reading ulysses for class #bear with me #tw: body dysmorphia #tw body dysmorphia

[bpdpotato]

Being ugly actually ruins your whole mood, I can't even sit in peace without thinking about how disgusting I actually look.

#mentally ill #bpd tag #body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #actually borderline #borderline #actually bpd #actually bdd #tw bdd #bdd things