#dunno if any of you have heard that song but its slow!! makes me wanna cry!! in a good way!!

[robinrunsfiction]

A Long Way Home - Part 2

Part 1

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader Rating: General Requested By: Anon Word Count: ~7900 total, about ~4450 in part 2 (minus the song lyrics used) Author’s Note: The song featured is Audience of One by Rise Against, it can be found in the playlist, here. I hope you enjoy the conclusion to the story!

As the tour rolled on, (YN) started to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the crazy commenters online were right about the possibility of her and Gerard being something.

It seemed like he always made time to see them perform now, and talked to her when he got the chance. It was never overtly flirtatious, but she couldn't help but wonder and hope that he was trying to get closer to her.

Unfortunately the tour had reached the halfway point and that meant saying goodbye to Taking Back Sunday. (YN) felt so thankful that she could now count Adam, John, Shawn and Mark among her friends.

Now Crystal Lake Cemetery had joined the tour and the overall vibe shifted. There had been such a welcoming camaraderie at first, but the new band didn't seem to want much to do with anyone else, returning to their own bus after their set was done. Rebecca and Jake took their lead, leaving Liam and (YN) to hang out with My Chem whenever the opportunity presented itself.

Now it was finally one of the rare days where there was enough time between shows to get a night in a hotel. Everyone appreciated the chance to get a decent shower and sleep in a real bed.

Everyone except (YN). She found herself on a couch in the hotel lobby after going out for dinner and drinks with Liam. He had started chatting with a guy, and ended up bringing him back to the hotel. All she could do now was wait for him to let her know it was ok to come back to the room and scroll through social media.

Up in his room, Gerard was doing the same when he noticed the square icon at the top of his phone. He smiled to himself when he saw that it was a notification that (YN) had updated her story.  He opened it up and saw it was a selfie of her pouting dramatically. With the caption "i havent been sexiled from a room since that semester i went to college 😫"

‘Where are you?’

The DM from Gerard surprised (YN), not only because he saw her post, but how quickly after posting it he responded.

‘Lobby. Liam brought a guy back, so I'm waiting for the all clear to go back up.’

‘Wanna hang out in my room?’

(YN) felt her heart rate shoot up. ‘Sure’ she replied as casually as she could with shaking fingers.

‘529′ he replied moments later and she jumped up, hurrying to the elevator. The ride up felt like it was moving painfully slow. She tried to keep her pace casual as she walked down the hall and smiled at Luke and Will, two of the members of Crystal Lake Cemetery who were talking in the doorway of the room across the hall, before knocking on Gerard's door.

“Hey,” he greeted her with a smile and she tried to keep from letting her knees go weak.

“Hey, thanks for inviting me up. I was getting kinda bored in the lobby,” she laughed as she walked in.

“Of course. Umm, wanna watch a movie?" Gerard asked as he made his way over to the couch.

"Sure, whatever's on," (YN) replied as she sat down next to him. She couldn’t help but wonder who designed the layout of the room with the couch not actually facing the tv as she found herself sitting sideways.

"Looks like The Martian is about to start, have you seen it?"

"Once when I was in a hotel room in Rochester, but I had taken so many cold meds that day, I'm pretty sure I thought I was a martian," she laughed. "I was so sick that tour. I hate when they schedule shows in the winter."

“I agree, those are always kinda miserable, seems like everything is always cold and wet. Oh, do you wanna stretch out?” He asked when he noticed how she was shifting uncomfortably.

“Sure,” she laughed a little nervously as she stretched her legs out over his lap. It wasn’t much later that her eyelids began to grow heavy and the next thing she knew, she was waking up as the end credits were playing, and her head was against Gerard's shoulder. Then she realized his arm was around her, his other hand on her shin, rubbing small circles, almost absentmindedly. "I guess I'm never gonna see this movie," she mumbled, feeling a little awkward.

"That's too bad, it was pretty good," Gerard laughed.

(YN) picked up her phone from where it had slid to the floor and saw that Liam still hadn't messaged her. "Damn dude," she muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, Liam still hasn't given me the all clear. I guess him and this guy really hit it off.”

"How are things with the other two? They never seem to be around much."

"Weird. I dunno, something is going on and no one is talking about it. Well no, they're talking about it, but not to us. Liam overheard Rebecca telling Jake that I’m selfish and I care more about the band as a concept than as four people making music together," she sighed. "And I do see it now that it's been pointed out."

Gerard shook his head. "I get it, I was the same way the first time round. I wanted everything to be the way I envisioned it in my head, I had that goal that I was working toward and that was all I was focused on. Though, for what it's worth, I think you're pretty great."

"Stop," she replied, covering her face with her hands to hide the fact that she was blushing.

"I'm not kidding," he said tugging at her wrists. When she looked up, he was smiling softly at her.

She shook her head. "Anyway, can I crash on your couch tonight? I'm not sure the staff would appreciate a rock star sleeping in the lobby."

"You take the bed, I'll sleep on the couch," Gerard replied.

"Gee, no, I'm the one who is invading your space!" She said getting up.

"I invited you," he replied, getting up as well.

"Share?" The word tumbled out of her mouth before she could even realize what she said.

Gerard looked a little caught off guard. “Oh, umm, yea-”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to. Again, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“No, (YN), it’s fine,” he shook his head. “Please don’t worry, we can share.”

She nodded. “Ok, fine.”

~

The next morning she woke up and Gerard was still sleeping peacefully next to her. That was a sight she felt like she could really get used to and had to restrain herself from reaching out and brushing the hair from his face. He looked so peaceful and it warmed her heart. She rolled over and checked her almost dead phone, and found Liam had finally messaged her.

‘Ok, you can come back now’

‘Yooooooooooooo where are you i wanna talk to you come back’

‘For real text me back, i’m getting worried, if ur dead an its my fault im gonna be so mad at you’

She tried not to laugh out loud and wake Gerard. ‘I’m fine, found another room to crash in, we’ll talk soon 😁’

“Hey,” Gerard mumbled sleepily next to her.

“Hi. Thanks for letting me stay here last night,” she said as she rolled over and smiled at him.

“Anytime. I really like hanging out with you (YN).”

“Same. We should do it more often," she offered with a shrug.

"I'd love that," he replied softly.

"I should get going, Liam sent me about 100 texts," she said shaking her head. She got up and gathered the few things she had brought with her to Gerard's room. "Thanks again," she said. She didn't realize what she was doing when she held her arms out for a hug.

He smiled and got up and wrapped his arms around her. Her heart was pounding so hard she worried he would notice, but he was so warm and smelled good, she quickly forgot her worried.

Eventually she pulled back, and gave him a wave before heading out. When she opened the door, she noticed the door across the hall quickly close. She shook her head in confusion as she headed back to her room.

~

From that day on, things began to get strange. Garden of Woe's gear and wardrobe carts were moved into different rooms, their dinner orders were cancelled, and at a soundcheck Liam and Rebecca both found their instruments wildly out of tune, despite the guitar tech claiming he had tuned them before any of the bands came in.

“It feels like someone is fucking with us,” Liam said shaking his head as he and (YN) hung out with My Chem’s in their dressing room.

“The only thing that’s different is Crystal Lake Cemetery is here now,” Mikey said cautiously.

“Why would they be messing with us though? Are they hazing us?” (YN) asked. “I’ve never experienced anything like this, and we aren’t close enough to them for this to be okay.”

“I’m gonna have the tour manager talk to them, it’s not right that this is happening to you,” Gerard said from his spot next to (YN).

“Thanks,” (YN) smiled up at him appreciatively.

“Of course,” he replied looking back at her fondly. They were again oblivious to the looks being exchanged by their friends around them.

The talk must have worked, as nothing further was done to mess with the bands stuff, but what (YN) didn’t know was how the rumor mill was now working overtime.

~

“I can’t deal with this, I fucking can’t deal with this. Fuck this, fuck you, I can’t believe it,” (YN) snapped before rushing out of the dressing room. Tears stung at her eyes, blurring her vision so she couldn’t see who she ran into. "Fuck, sorry."

“Woah, (YN) what’s wrong?” She heard Gerard ask. She just shook her head in response and looked up at the ceiling, trying in vain to keep the tears in place. She felt Gerard taking her arm and leading her into another dressing room for privacy. But as soon as the door was shut behind them, she couldn’t hold it in anymore.

"It's over, it's all over," (YN) sobbed.

"What is? What's going on?" Gerard asked, concerned, rubbing her arms.

"Rebecca and Jake are leaving the band at the end of the tour."

"What?! Why?"

"They're gonna go have a kid and be a family and leave us behind," she wailed, the tears coming harder again. Gerard pulled her in tight and let her cry on his shoulder.

(YN) had no sense of how long she had been crying when she finally felt herself calming down and her tears slowing. "I'm so so sorry. You don't need to be bothered by my stupid problems. You're like the most important person here and I'm nobody. I’m nobody with no band anymore," (YN) said pulling back and wiping her eyes. She was thankful she hadn't put on her stage makeup yet, or his olive jacket would have been ruined.

Gerard shook his head, his eyes soft and full of sadness for her. "No, you’re important to me. And yea your band is gonna change, but you’re so talented, so is Liam, you're gonna do amazing things.”

“You think?” she asked looking up at him and he nodded. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”

“Anytime.”

She realized his hands had settled on her waist, and she looked back up at him as she clung to his jacket, to find he was still smiling down at her softly. This was the dream for her. Well, not the part where she found out half her band was leaving, but being held by Gerard Way while on tour together. The fan fic was practically writing itself in her mind until she felt her phone vibrating in her back pocket.

“Ugh, I gotta go deal with this,” she replied when she saw the text messages rolling in from Clark in all capital letters with many expletives and exclamation marks.

~

Garden of Woe's show that night was not their best, but no one spoke of it, mainly due to none of the band members speaking to each other at all. The bus ride to the next town was silent and when they arrived, Liam and (YN) found a private place to talk about the situation alone.

"I can learn drums, and play and sing like Don Henley. Or we could call Dallon and Ryan and see if they wanna form a supergroup? I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND Garden of Woe?" (YN) suggested.

"Genius," Liam laughed. "But (YN), we're gonna be fine. We'll figure this out as we go along. Well take a break and maybe they'll even change their minds."

"Jake maybe, but I doubt Rebecca will. She's been on edge for a long time, I just don't know if this life was ever for her. Maybe she's doing exactly what she needs to."

"What was it she called you?" Liam smirked.

"Scene whore," (YN) laughed darkly as she shook her head.

"Yea, that was something else.”

"I don't wanna talk about this anymore. I got my call with my therapist in five minutes."

"You doing ok?" Liam asked, concern crossing his face.

"This whole situation just reminded me a lot of what my mom did. Bailing on us to form a new family and all that."

Liam nodded thoughtfully, remembering how betrayed (YN) had felt when her mom left. "I get it," he replied as (YN) got up. "But hey."

"What?" (YN) stopped in her tracks.

"Remember what got you through back then?"

A smile fought its way across (YN)'s face. "Listening to hours and hours of My Chemical Romance?" Liam shrugged with a smug smile. "I'll give it a shot," (YN) laughed.

That night as she stood off stage (YN) felt like she was going to puke. The crowd was already so loud and the lights hadn’t even gone down yet.

“Ready?” Liam asked.

“Not at all,” she shook her head. “But fuck it, let’s go.”

The duo walked out on stage, where two stools and microphones were set up, a spotlight shining down. “What’s up California?!” (YN) shouted and the crowd cheered. “We are half of Garden of Woe, unfortunately Rebecca and Jake are both feeling under the weather tonight, so we’re gonna do a short acoustic set for you and then Crystal Lake Cemetery is gonna be out here to do an extra long set to get you hyped up for My Chemical Romance!”

The crowd cheered, albeit less enthusiastically than before. (YN) felt like shit lying to the audience like that, but Rebecca and Jake couldn’t be convinced to come off the bus, and it was either they do a modified set, or give up their time on stage altogether. The duo started with a couple of their best songs that sounded good while being played acoustically.

“Ok, we have one more song for you, it’s a cover of a song that means a lot to me by Rise Against. It’s called Audience of One. Thanks again guys you’ve been amazing,” (YN) said and Liam started playing. (YN) knew that it would take a miracle to make it through the song without breaking down.

I can still remember The words and what they meant As we etched them with our fingers In years of wet cement The days blurred into each other Though everything seemed clear We cruised along at half speed But then we shifted gears We ran like vampires from a thousand burning suns But even then we should have stayed But we ran away Now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? Identities assume us As nine and five add up Synchronizing watches To the seconds that we lost I looked up and saw you I know that you saw me We froze but for a moment In empathy I brought down the sky for you but all you did was shrug You gave my emptiness a name Then you ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone? We're all okay, until the day we're not The surface shines, while the inside rots We raced the sunset and we almost won We slammed the brakes, but the wheels went on We ran away And now all my friends are gone Maybe we've outgrown all the things that we once loved Runaway But what are we running from? A show of hands from those in this audience of one Where have they gone?

The tears streamed down (YN)’s face as she finished singing. She didn’t know if the crowd could see it or not, and she didn’t know if she cared either way. She waved with Liam at the crowd and retreated off the stage. As soon as they were out of sight, he wrapped her in a tight hug and she cried against his shoulder.

After calming down and washing her face, (YN) and Liam went out to the merch booth to sign for fans but not many turned up. As they headed back through the corridors of the venue, they spotted Clark heading toward them.

"If it isn't my favorite PR nightmare," Clark said, annoyance clear in his voice.

(YN) and Liam looked at each other. “Oooh, Liam’s in trouble,” (YN) sing-songed with a smirk.

“Not him.”

"Wait what did I do?" (YN) asked, eyes going wide, as Liam snickered.

“In here,” Clark said, nodding toward the dressing room door, shutting it behind them. "When did you start hooking up with Gerard?"

"What?! We haven't done anything, where did you hear that?!"

"Apparently just about everyone else on the tour is talking about it. They’re saying you've spent  nights with him, you’ve been spotted ducking into abandoned dressing rooms with him."

"Well yea, I mean I stayed over in his room when Liam was hooking up with that guy in Texas, but we just hung out! And the dressing room thing, I don't even know when that would be other than that time I ran into him and he was comforting me when I was upset about Rebecca and Jake. Who would make something out of nothing?"

“People love starting rumors, especially about big names,” Clark shrugged. "If this gets out of just this bubble, people are gonna think-"

"Yea, yea, I know what people are gonna think," (YN) waved him off.

"We have enough problems coming up at the end of this tour, can you at least make sure this isn’t one of them?" Clark sighed before leaving the room.

Liam let out a long sigh as well. "I'm sure he's making a big deal outta nothing, don't you think?"

(YN) didn't answer, she had her head in her hands, staring at the floor. "What if Gerard thinks I started those rumors? What if he never wants to hang out with me ever again because he thinks I read too much into when we've hung out and think there's more to our friendship than there is? Now even if we ever had a chance at something more, it's ruined."

~

The last few nights of the tour dragged by, but they were finally back in LA for the final four shows at the Forum. The bands were given the option of staying in a hotel near  the venue, but (YN) just wanted to go home. She was tired of going out of her way to avoid everyone, especially Gerard, and she wanted some peace and quiet, even if it meant dealing with traffic.

(YN) unlocked the door to her apartment and walked in, dumping her luggage just inside the door. She breathed in the stale air that filled the apartment from being closed up for two months. She felt like she was going to be taking on the world when she left, and now she was home feeling utterly defeated.

She wandered over into the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was filled with nothing but condiments that were very possibly expired. She checked the pantry and found a stash of canned soup and spaghettios. She got a pot of spaghettios heated up before moving on to her laundry.

As she threw her clothes into the washer, she wondered what she’d wear to the show tonight. Did it matter? These were the last four shows that the band would be performing together and she had to pretend like everything was fine. Should she really live it up, or give up? (YN) trudged back to her kitchen and started eating her half warm lunch straight out of the pot. Was this what her life was about to become? Miserable and alone?

That night when she arrived at the venue she hid in the dressing room until sound check. She continued to avoid everyone except Liam until the show started. After, she went to sign for the fans and for the first time she didn’t hurry back to see My Chemical Romance play. Her heart broke as she heard the first notes. She wondered if Gerard noticed she wasn't there. She wondered if he was glad she wasn't bothering him anymore.

As she laid in her bed the morning of the last show, staring up at the ceiling, she couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks. She had barely slept the last few nights, her mind racing, and she felt like shit. She dragged herself out of bed and down to the kitchen, starting a pot of coffee and staring at her still bare pantry, the last can of spaghettios staring back at her. She sighed, the feeling of defeat over everything hitting her harder than it had yet.

Her doorbell ringing made her jump, pulling her from her thoughts. For a second she considered not answering. But when it rang again she decided to check who was interrupting her self-pity fest.

"Gerard? What the hell are you doing here?" She asked when she opened the door. "And how do you know where I live?"

"Liam told me.”

"Has he told you my blood type and social security number as well?" She sneered, but held the door open for him to come in.

"I was worried about you, (YN)," he said softly, his eyes filled with worry.

"Gee," she started running her hands through her hair frustratedly. "How could you possibly care about me? I am useless damaged goods! I'm barely functional! I've been eating spaghettios for the last four days because I can't bring myself to go to the store. My band is about to break up, and meanwhile people think I fucked my way onto the tour of a lifetime. Everything is," her voice started to crack as she sank down on the couch. “This was supposed to be the best thing ever, and it was at first, but now it’s ruined and you should hate me.”

“Why?” He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“Don’t you think I started those rumors about us?” She looked up at him.

“No!” he replied. “God no, I know you better than that (YN). And I know those assholes from Crystal Lake Cemetery. Now I wish we never had to bring them along on this tour because it meant that I’ve had to spend time away from you these last few days.”

(YN) was dumbfounded. “Do, do you mean that?”

Gerard nodded. “Mikey told me like the second day of tour just to ask you out, but I didn’t think I’d have a chance in hell with you. And then I got to know you even better and I, I knew I was falling for you, but I still don’t believe you could feel the same way about me.”

“How could I not?” She asked, astonished.

“Because you’re this amazing up and coming star, you’re beautiful, and funny and could get any guy you could possibly want and I’m older than you, I got an ex that everyone knows and still brings up and a kid. Because I got this grey hair, and I look like this,” he said gesturing to his body as he looked down forlornly.

“Gerard, stop it,” (YN) snapped. “I will not tolerate you being so mean to someone I love.”

His head shot up, eyes wide. "(YN), do you mean that? Do you really want me?"

"More than you could ever know," she whispered, not breaking eye contact.

Gerard leaned in and kissed (YN) hard. She immediately responded by grabbing his jacket to pull him closer before reaching up to run her hand through his hair. His hands were on his waist as he leaned into her. She took the lead, pulling him back so he was laying over her on the couch. He deepened the kiss as she let him move his tongue against hers.

When they came up for air, Gerard brushed the hair out of her eyes and she laughed lightly. “I missed that sound,” he said quietly. “God, I love you (YN). Fuck what anyone says, I wanna be with you, if you’ll have me.”

“I thought that kiss made it pretty clear I do,” she laughed softly again and he blushed. “Because I love you too, everything about you.”

He leaned in and kissed her again. “Would you like to go get lunch before we gotta be at the venue?” He asked when he pulled back.

“I would love nothing more than to not eat another can of spaghettios and get lunch with you,” she laughed.

They grabbed lunch at one of Gerard’s favorite spots, finding a secluded corner where they could talk away from any fans who might just happen to stop in. (YN) had been spending so much time with Gerard before Clark told her about the rumors that she felt like they had so much to catch up on after just a few days apart.

“So how was this for a first date?” Gerard asked after they finished eating.

“Perfect,” (YN) nodded contentedly. Gerard was looking at her with a soft smile on his face. “What?” she laughed.

“I’m just really happy,” he said, taking her hand.

“For the first time in quite a while, I am too,” she agreed.

When Liam saw Gerard and (YN) walking into the venue together, he sighed in relief. “Hey guys,” he said tentatively. “Everything good?”

(YN) nodded. “Yea, we got it all sorted out,” she said glancing up at Gerard, who was smiling back at her.

“Good because tonight should be the best show of the tour, and I could not put up with any more of your moping (YN),” Liam laughed.

“Thank you for your support in my time of need,” (YN) rolled her eyes.

“Gerard, there you are, you’re on for soundcheck,” the very tired look tour manager called from down the hall.

“I’ll see you later,” he said leaning in and gave (YN) a quick kiss before heading down the hall.

“So when you said sorted out,” Liam started.

“We’re together,” she blushed.

“My god, your 16 year old self must be dying right now,” Liam laughed.

“Stop,” (YN) shook her head before heading back to their dressing room.

When Garden of Woe took the stage for the last time, everyone played well, and the crowd was going crazy, but (YN) was struggling to act as if nothing was wrong. Her heart felt heavy until she glanced to the side of the stage and saw Gerard leaning against a crate, giving her a nod and a smile, reminding her that everything would be okay.

“Are you ok?” Gerard asked, wrapping her in a hug after the band took their last bow.

“Yep. Things change, but I think everything has ended up exactly where it needs to be,” she nodded before leaning in to kiss him again.

#gerard way x reader #gerard way fan fic #gerard way fan fiction #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction #part 2

[guccybangtan]

keep going - jung hoseok x reader x park jimin

pairing; hoseok x reader x jimin

genre; smut, college au, frat au;

rating; 18+

disclaimers; threesome (hickies/neck kissing, palming, mxm kissing, penetrative sex, blow job/dick sucking, face fucking (its pretty mild), nipple play, hoseok gives off dom vibes but its subtle, hoseok fucks y/n and she's dating jimin (totally consensual Jimin’s there its a vibe) Let me know if somethings missing;

word count; 2.6k

a/n; this was commissioned by an anonymous donor through ChangesWithLuv in support of the Black Lives Matter movement

listen to: whatever sexy song you want, I listened to daddy issues (slowed w reverb) on repeat solely bc I liked the vibes;

“Just come with me to the party this one time! Please, baby girl,” Jimin begged you. “I’ll make it worth your while.”

His words were punctuated by a wiggle of his eyebrows, signature toothy smirk on full display as his eyes formed mini crescents.

You had been in a relationship with Jimin for the better part of two years, having originally met during Intro to Chemistry. It had been the first day of the semester and you, regretfully, were placed in the 8 am class.

You were taken aback when Jimin and all his energy plopped into the seat next to you, slamming his books and coffee onto the table, effectively deeming himself your lab partner for the entirety of the first semester.

While you dreaded attending Intro to Chem in the beginning, you found yourself looking more and more forward to it as time went by, beginning to enjoy the time spent with your new friend.

Jimin may have been a bit strange, but he was actually quite endearing.

He started bringing you coffee from the campus cafe when he stopped for his own, swearing you looked like the walking dead every time he saw you. He also looked at you like you held the stars in your eyes when you explained molar calculations to him, claiming ‘’no matter how hard I try Professor Robertson just doesn’t make any sense!’’

You knew something was up when Jimin walked into class empty-handed one morning, but all of the pieces clicked into place when he held you back after class was dismissed.

“I know things were a little weird in the beginning, but I really enjoy your company,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Would you maybe, I dunno, wanna come grab a coffee with me? Get to know each other outside of chemistry?”

Of course you’d agreed, and the two of you walked hand in hand down to the cafe, giggling like teenagers as you stared at each other over the lips of your cups.

That one date turned into two, which turned into four, which turned into Jimin asking you to be his girlfriend a few weeks later.

Even though you said yes, you’d had your reservations. Early on in your courtship, you’d learned Jimin was a part of Bangtan, the fraternity known to throw the most crazy rager parties. How this fact had escaped you the first 8 weeks of you knowing him, you weren’t sure why, but now that you did know it made you nervous.

“Why does me being in Bangtan make you nervous?” Jimin asked you over coffee one morning after class.

“It’s just- the reputation your frat holds.” You shrugged like that explained everything.

“Care to enlighten me?” Jimin was perched on the edge of his seat, acting as if you were about to tell him the juiciest bit of drama all year.

“That you all fuck anything with legs just to get your dick wet.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Is that why you think I’m after you?” Tongue in cheek, Jimin cocked his eyebrow, looking almost bored as you threw these accusations at him.

“Well... No. Not you.” You shivered under his intense gaze. You’d never brought this up in conversation before, afraid of the possible repercussions.

“What makes me different, then?” Your only response was to stare at him.

What did make him different? You didn’t really have an answer, but you trusted Jimin.

He hadn’t attended any of the parties since the two of you got together, totally understanding of your apprehension.

This party was a special occasion, though, which is why he wanted you to attend so badly.

Hoseok was one of the members of Bangtan, and the party was for his birthday.

The fraternity was notorious for going all out in regards to their members, so this was expected to be one of the best parties of the year, considering how popular Hoseok was.

This party would be no different. You’d seen the info floating around on Snapchat, meaning anyone and everyone was invited, something unusual for Bangtan, because usually you had to know someone to get in the door.

“You know how I feel about parties, Jimin,” you replied from your seated position on the couch.

Jimin had been persistent on your attendance since he’d heard about the party, but he’d been especially antsy since he returned home from his last class.

“I know, Y/N, but think about it! It’s Hoseok’s birthday!” Jimin made his way around the couch and sat on the coffee table in front of you.

He took the book you were reading out of your hands and set it on the table next to him.

“He’s your friend, Min, not mine.’’ You shook your head, reaching back out for your book.

Jimin was quick to grab your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm as he gave you the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.

“Pleaasseee!’’ he whined.

“Only for like, two hours,’’ you rolled your eyes.

“It’s a deal!” Jimin exclaimed, jumping to his feet.

He quickly scurried off to your shared bedroom, muttering about how he was going to let the others know you would, in fact, be in attendance.

-

The day of the party arrived sooner than you would have liked. Considering the rest of your week following the conversation with Jimin had been filled with tests and essay revisions, it was really no surprise that it was Saturday already.

The weather was warm enough that you opted for a spaghetti-strapped dress with delicate flowers scattered across the white fabric.

It was sheer and silken, like something you’d see in the middle of summer. It rested against the middle of your thighs, providing enough coverage to be modest, but not so much you felt swamped in fabric. It seemed perfect for the occasion (even though it appeared you’d have to prevent Jimin from ripping it from your body).

Even though you and Jimin arrived fairly early, it seemed as if the party was already in full swing.

You made it inside, albeit difficultly, and began the hunt for the birthday boy to offer him your congratulations.

Somewhere along the way you had been handed a solo cup filled with a mysterious liquid that smelled an awful lot like fireball and coke. If you were anywhere else you would have questioned the drink, but considering the fact that Seokjin had been the one to hand it to you, you weren’t too worried.

After searching for Hoseok and not finding him, you and Jimin settled onto the couch with Jimin’s best friends, Jungkook and Taehyung, who were also a part of the frat.

Conversation flowed easily between the four of you, and time was passing by quickly. You found yourself enjoying the party more than you originally thought you would.

“You still wanting to leave?” Jimin’s words were whispered directly into your ear, plush lips gently brushing against the outer shell.

“I don’t mind staying,’’ you shrugged.

“Well, uh- I don’t mind either but, there’s a bit of a problem.’’ He glanced down to his lap where a bulge was beginning to form.

Without even having to look, you rolled your eyes. “What!” Jimin exclaimed, glancing at his friends to make sure they were still oblivious to your conversation, “You look so hot in that dress, baby girl.’’

“So? You can’t wait until we get home?” “Please, Y/N,’’ Jimin purred, “humor me.’’

Sighing again, you stood up, bidding farewell to the others and tugging Jimin down the hall.

“Where to, loverboy?” You asked.

Jimin swung the first door open and pulled you inside, slamming it shut and flicking the lock.

“Where were we?” Jimin turned to you with a smirk.

“My bedroom,’’ another voice rang out.

You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sudden sound.

Hoseok was lounging on the bed shirtless, his feet kicked up.

“To what do I owe your lovely presence?”

“We were just-’’

“Gonna fuck in my bed?” Hoseok cocked his eyebrow.

“Well-’’

“I could’ve at least gotten an invite,’’ Hoseok tsked, “it is my birthday, after all.’’

“Invitation sent.’’ you said.

“Bring it on.’’ Jimin smirked.

“Remember you asked for this.’’ Hoseok snickered as he stood up, looking amused at your lover's words.

“Kneel. There,’’ he barked at Jimin, pointing to the patch of carpet near the foot of the bed.

The blond was quick to follow orders without hesitation. Who knew your lovely boyfriend would submit so easily?

“Not so mouthy now, are we?” Jimin rolled his eyes, causing Hoseok to scoff.

“Pretty dress,’’ Hoseok cooed as he sauntered over to you, lips brushing the edge of your jaw, “It’d look better off, though.’’

He wasted no time and ripped the garment from your body, exposing your soft skin to the chill air of his bedroom.

Hoseok smashed his lips to yours, mouths sliding fervently against each other.

He feathered kisses across your jaw, working his way down the column of your neck and down your chest, finally reaching your breasts.

‘’Hoseok,’’ you gasped as his mouth latched onto one of your hardening nipples, fingers winding their way into his soft red locks.

He laved his tongue over the rosy bud, while he massaged the other with his deft fingers.

After a moment he switched, offering equal attention to both mounds.

“Hobi… mm- want more. Please. Touch me,’’ you whined as he sat up.

He stared at you as you squirmed on the bed, lips parted as pants fell from his mouth.

“I won't touch you unless you beg.”

You spared a glance at Jimin.

Seeing him on his knees next to the bed, pupils blown wide as he palmed himself through his jeans was enough to send another gush of wetness into your panties. It was obvious he was just as into this as you were.

“Please, Hoseok!’’ You mewled, ”I’ve been good,’’

“Hm,’’ Hoseok hummed as he caught you staring at Jimin, “not good enough.’’

Your eyes widened, ready to plead more when any words you had died in your throat.

Hoseok had turned his back to you, moving all of his attention towards Jimin.

“Baby boy’s been a bit neglected, hasn’t he?”

You watched on with labored breaths, enthralled by the scene unfolding in front of you.

You couldn’t hear what Hoseok muttered to Jimin over your own breathing, but Hoseok pulled Jimin to his feet and immediately locked his lips with the blond, tongue swiping gently over his lips.

Jimin’s hands gripped the loops on Hoseok’s pants, pulling the older male flush against his body while he began to mouth at his neck, letting his hands move to caress Hoseok’s hardening dick through his shorts.

You were sure your panties were saturated with your arousal by this point, feeling the fabric stick uncomfortably to your dripping cunt.

“Not fair,’’ you whined, sitting up, ”you’re hogging.’’

You nudged Jimin, attaching your lips to the side of Hoseok’s neck, painting blossoms of red and purple across his supple skin, while Jimin made similar moves on the other side.

As you moved more toward the center of his throat, you found yourself knocking heads with Jimin.

“Now who’s hogging?” Jimin mocked you as he nuzzled his nose against your own.

You momentarily turned your attention from Hoseok to Jimin, letting your lips meet. No matter how many times you had kissed Jimin, his hot lips always made you weak in the knees.

You moaned as he pulled away, wanting nothing more than to ravish him right then.

Hoseok’s hand on your waist brought you back to reality, turning your attention back to him.

“It won’t be long before someone comes looking. If we really wanna have fun we should hurry a bit.

You and Jimin both nodded dumbly, entranced by Hoseok.

“How do we wanna do this?” Hoseok asked as he pulled off Jimin’s shirt, nipping at his jaw.

“You can fuck her if you want, long as you’ve got a condom.’’

Hoseok quickly rummaged through his nightstand, proudly whipping out the foiled package.

“You okay with that?” Jimin turned to you, taking his time to run his hands over your curves, fingers sliding against your soaked panties.

“Please. Hurry.’’ You nodded, grinding onto Jimin’s palm.

“Eager, aren’t we?” Hoseok laughed as he stepped out of his shorts, tearing the wrapper open and rolling it down his thick length.

Jimin made his way around the bed, kneeling next to your head.

You reached up and wrapped your hand around his cock, giving him a few strokes while you waited for Hoseok to line up with your entrance.

“We’ll have to do this again sometime,’’ Hoseok breathed as he began to push into you. “Wanna taste you next time.’’

“Oh, god.’’ You cried as he bottomed out.

He stilled inside of you, giving you a few moments to adjust to his size before he was pulling out and rocking back into you again.

Hoseok was longer than Jimin, but not as girthy. Still, he managed to reach places inside of you that had your toes curling as you felt the familiar knot already tightening in your stomach.

You felt the tip of Jimin’s cock nudge your lips and without hesitation you opened for him.

Jimin began thrusting into your mouth in tandem with Hoseok.

“Hng- Fuck, Y/N.’’ Jimin moaned, “ 'm close. God, your mouth.’’

You relaxed your throat, allowing Jimin deeper access to fuck into you.

It wasn’t long before you felt his warm cum coating the inside of your throat.

He pulled out gently, and you turned your attention back to Hoseok who had begun working your clit as he continued to thrust into you at a steady pace.

“ 'm not gonna last long,” Hoseok grunted, “wanna feel you milk my cock.’’

Hoseok's words were enough to throw you over the edge into ecstasy, walls clenching around his cock as he stilled inside of you, spilling his seed into the condom.

The two of you laid there, catching your breaths before Hoseok pulled out, discarding the used condom in the wastebin.

“Thank you for that,’’ Hoseok smiled as he pulled his shirt back over his head.

“Not a problem,’’ Jimin said, helping you redress.

“It was fun,’’ you added.

Reaching out, you pulled Hoseok into your arms, trapping him in a hug.

He tensed, but returned the gesture nevertheless.

“You just had your dick in me, a hug won’t kill you.’’ You giggled, releasing the man whose face was now as red as his hair.

He shook his head at you, giving Jimin a bro hug before following you to the door.

“Talk soon?” Jimin said to his frat-mate.

“For sure, let me know when you get home. I’ve got more party things to attend to.’’ He rolled his eyes.

You and Jimin left soon after, beginning the short journey home.

“Is it bad I want to do that again?” Jimin broke the silence.

“No, I want to too.’’

“I never took Hobi as a Dom,’’ Jimin pondered out loud.

“Have you seen the man? He screams dom,’’ you disagreed.

“Maybe we can call him for your birthday.’’

“I’m down.’’ You reached out to Jimin for the door key.

Wordlessly, he handed it over.

The silence remained until the two of you were settled into bed.

“Y/N?” Jimin asked.

“Hm?”

“Do you like Hoseok?”

You looked at Jimin with uncertainty.

“Of course I do, he’s your friend.’’

“Yeah but… nevermind.’’ He shook his head.

“O-okay?” You responded.

“We’ll talk in the morning, baby. Get some rest.’’

Rest didn’t come easy, and when it did, you dreamt of all the possibilities the morning held.

#changeswithluv #ficswithluv #bangtanarmynet #bangtanfairygarden #kwritersworldnet #thekpopnetwork #jung hoseok imagine #jung Hoseok smut #bts smut #bts imagine #park jimin imagine #park jimin smut #park jimin x reader #jung Hoseok x reader #commissions

[lukehughes43]

heartbreak girl - trevor zegras

chapter one

word count: 5,092 whoa vivi can write something under 10k?

your head was nodding along to the beat of the drums jack was busy playing. however, your eyes were focused on your best friend, who was currently singing the lyrics of one of the songs he wrote for the band. “i can be a liar, i can be a cheat. i can be neurotic, i can be a freak,” you sang along with trevor under your breath. kicking your feet as you sat on the couch locking your eyes with trevor’s blue ones for a split second before he was focused on playing the notes song on his guitar. 

as soon as the song came to a close you were jumping up and cheering for your four friends. “whoo!” you screamed before running over and giving your best friend a giant hug, “you guys killed that! when you go to la you’re gonna fucking kill it. get a fucking record deal!” with that you pulled away from trevor and walked over to hug both patty and alex. the black haired bass guitarist was quick to wrap you up in his own arms while all of you started to laugh a little bit. “but seriously trev, when, and how did you write that?” you questioned before walking back to give jack a quick hug. 

“uh i wrote it a couple days ago,” the lead singer answered while shrugging his shoulders. setting his guitar back in its stand in the zegras garage. “as for how i wrote it? i’m not, uh, i’m not really sure,” he trailed off. eyes looking at every single boy except for at you. only you didn’t notice seeing as jack had wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you to look at the wall instead of trevor. not wanting you to see the look of pain that was etched across your best friend’s face.

“there’s a lot of things you don’t even know about z, y/n. aren’t you supposed to be his best friend?” patty taunted as you turned around to walk back to your seat on the couch. “or has someone else taken that throne since you started dating caden and don’t have time for z, or us.” 

as soon as you sat down you were glaring over at the eighteen year old with brown hair. “take it back patrick,” you hissed, ready to pop out of your seat. only before you could trevor was sitting down next to you. throwing an arm over your chest to keep you in your place. “get off of me z!” you screamed trying to get out of his hold. “at least i can get a boyfriend, you can’t even get a girlfriend patty,” you snapped while finally pushing trevor’s arms off of your body. and before he could pull you back down to the couch you were marching over to be face to face with the tallest of the four boys. 

“i wouldn’t call caden much of a boyfriend,” he responded, arms crossing over his chest. “more of dick with legs.” with that you were winding up, only alex and jack hooked their arms with yours and threw you back on the couch. 

“patty stop talking,” jack huffed while glancing back over to the brunette. “y/n looks like she’s ready to kill you.” 

“i am going to fucking kill him!” you yelled while trying to break away from alex, jack, and trevor. “let me go so i can fucking kill him!” only instead the boys hold tightened on you. trevor’s arms making sure to hold tight around your waist. “you have no right to say that about caden!” your body was thrashing against the three boys, only it wasn’t getting you anywhere. finally sighing you slumped back against trevor’s body. jack and alex letting go of your arms. 

alex let out a sigh as he ran a hand through his hair, “y/n/n come on, we all know you and caden aren’t even considered together right now.” you looked between all four of the boys watching as they all nodded their heads. your eyes rolled and your arms crossed over your chest. “you broke up tuesday because after our gig you ditched him to hang out with trevor and us. he got mad at you and you broke up. again.” 

you let out another huff while slipping into the open spot on the couch next to the brunette singer. “yeah, well i must have forgotten to mention that we got back together last night,” you spat, starting to fiddle with your fingers. legs throwing themselves over trevor’s lap. “and before any of you make a big dramatic sigh, over nothing, caden’s a good guy.” 

right on que all four members of the band had let out a sigh. trevor’s head dropped down so he was looking at his lap, patty let out a scoff as he shook his head, and jack and alex just shared an uneasy look. “what’s the longest you guys have actually dated for?” jack quizzed before sitting back down at his drum kit. “because my bet is five months, and that’s when the two of you first started dating three years ago.” 

“my bet’s two weeks,” alex added. 

patty hummed while shaking his head to disagree with all of them. snapping his fingers as he smiled right at you, “three fucking days.” before you could even have a chance to snap back at any of the boys, trevor’s eyes were looking up from his lap. he glanced over at you through his lashes while squeezing your ankle. then over to the boys. 

“you’re all wrong,” he mumbled, “it was seven months.” instantly patrick was shaking his head to argue with trevor. thinking that there was no way you and caden had made it that long. you weren’t paying any mind to the fact all four boys were now bickering, deciding to start scrolling through instagram while trying to find something more entertaining than them. 

only when you didn’t pay attention, and pushed the conversation out of mind, jack was sharing a knowing look with trevor. realizing the hurt he had in his voice, and the way he could barely even look over at you after he had said it. your relationship hadn’t come between yours and trevor’s friendship. no matter how many times caden had tried to make it, you always chose trevor. then after a couple weeks, days, or sometimes even hours one of you would always end up crawling back to the other. it was a never ending cycle of hurt you put yourself through, but it was for love, then you were all for it. plus you got to keep your best friend, along with your other three annoying friends, and still be the band’s biggest supporter, basically their manager. no matter how much it pissed caden off. 

trevor started patting your calves, causing your eyes to snap over at him. “what’s up trev?” you question, not able to help the smile that was forming on your face. the look of pure innocence, which he was not, was too sweet not to smile at. his shoulders just shrugged and you couldn’t help but giggle a little bit. “do you wanna head back to my house? seeing as you’re all done playing.” 

his head nodded right away, “i mean if you’re insisting.” your eyes rolled as you started to stand from the couch. “plus i heard mama m/n is making my favorite for dinner. boys feel free to stick around, but don’t expect julie to feed you, again.” 

“and before you ask, no you can’t come to have dinner at my house,” you sassed, with a smile on your face. “my mom already made it very clearly that none of you can come over for dinner without a reservation.” 

“hey it was one time!” alex screeched. referring to the time you and all four members of beyond michigan showed up at your house expecting dinner. julie having kicked all of you out not wanting to feed you dinner for the seventh time in a row. “plus doesn’t m/n love us?” 

right away trevor was shaking his head, “she only loves me. she tolerates you three idiots. then you’re her daughter y/n, so i think she loves you.” your e/c rolled as you grabbed trevors wrist and started leading him out the open garage door. “well i guess i’m being forced to leave you, bye guys. same time tomorrow?” 

“bye z, bye y/n/n. same time tomorrow,” patty confirmed as he dropped down on to the couch. pulling his phone out as he did so. 

“and you better have new songs finished trevor!” jack reminded the boy as the both of you opened your car doors. “we need the lyrics and to figure out the melodies, notes, chords. we gotta be on our a game for the demo track.” 

“you guys don’t even know what an a game is,” you teased, starting your engine. “you’re a mess.” 

patty scoffed from the couch, head tipping back to look at you and trevor. “oh and you’re not y/n? in fact i think you’re a bigger mess than our band is.” 

with that you flipped both your middle fingers up towards the boys still lingering in the garage, “fuck you patrick.” as you slammed your car door closed he blew you a kiss before returning to his phone. jack and alex both waving goodbye to you and trevor. as you started to back out of the driveway you turned towards your best friend. “having trouble writing z?” you were genuinely concerned. not once in his life had trevor had a problem writing songs. even when the two of you were two years old and barely knew what singing was, trevor still found a way to scribble his songs into a go diego go notebook. 

trevor’s shoulders just shrugged before mumbling, “i just dunno what i want to say.” your mouth fell open as you scoffed over at him. “what’s the look for y/n/n? i just don’t know what i want to say!” 

shaking your head at the boy you started the short two miles drive down the road to your family’s house. “trevor, you’ve always known what to say,” you answered, stealing a glance over at him. his blue eyes focused on the passing scenery that consisted of different houses. something he’d seen over millions of times along the drive to your house. “you don’t really expect me to believe that you don’t know what you want to say, do you?” you pressed while slowing to a stop at one of the stop signs. 

“i do actually,” he sighed while looking over towards you. his brown hair falling flat against his forehead as he did so. “none of the boys will believe me, but you’re my best friend y/n.” his voice was pleading as he spoke. blue eyes searching your e/c ones before you look back to the road. “so yeah, i expect you to believe me.”

sighing you nodded your head, “i do believe you trev. i just, wow. you really don’t know what to write about?” he mumbled back to you, something you couldn’t quite make out. now that was unlike trevor. the eighteen year old was always confident, and hardly ever mumbled. “i think i might know how to get you back into writing tz.” 

a smile lit up on trevor’s face as you pulled into your driveway. “tell me!” he screeched while leaning over the middle consul as he threw his seat belt off. seeing as you car was now safely parked in your garage. “y/n/n, you need to tell me. right now!” he hollered, arms crossing over his chest while he started to pout over at you. the smile that was starting to pull on the corners of your lips was a large one, and it only ever happened because of trevor.

“so you don’t know what to write or sing, huh?” you asked once more. just trying to make sure that you had it all figured out. 

“yeah y/n/n! i’ve only said it like seven times,” he grumbled while pushing open your car door. 

you followed suit, leaning against the side of your car while smiling over to him. “then sing what you’re feeling trevor. write what you’re feeling z,” you explained while starting towards the door that was connected to your mudroom by the kitchen. “and before you try and tell me that’s what girls do, every great songwriter does it trevor, and you’re a great songwriter.”

trevor’s head nodded as he walked into the mudroom, kicking off the pair of converse he had on. “so you’re telling me that i should just sing what i feel, y/n/n?” he repeated back to you, watching as you leaned over to undo the straps of your chacos. ready to catch you if you were about to fall over. “because i don’t know if i can do that. putting my feelings on to paper for everyone to hear in the world,” he added on once the two of you were starting into the kitchen. 

“but you can write and sing about jack, alex, and patty’s feelings?” you retorted with a knowing smile. trevor just shook his head, eyes rolling as the two of you walked further into the house. “what no answer because you know i’m right?” 

sighing the lead singer ran a hand through his hair, “with them it’s only a certain level of how personal it is, you know?” once you nodded your head to show you understood he continued to speak. “but when if me singing about my feelings i dunno, that makes me nervous.” 

you started to laugh a little bit, smiling wide as you looked over at him. “that’s why you look at me when you’re singing your feelings, trev. i make you less nervous, right?” you smiled while leaning up on the balls of your feet. arms wrapping around trevor’s body since you had the feeling that what he really needed was a hug from his best friend.

“right.” 

there was something about the way he said it that you couldn’t let go of, but when he hugged you back you let it slip from your mind. “so at the next gig, when you’re singing about your feelings for the first, you look right at me trevor zegras. i’ll help you get through it, okay bud?” you asked, head dropping to rest against his chest. gently rocking the two of you as you stood there in your kitchen. 

“how’s caden gonna feel about me starting at you while i sing about god knows what?” trevor questioned, head tilting down to look at you. “i mean don’t get me wrong i’ll do it y/n/n. i hate him, he hates me, so it’ll be easy. i won’t feel bad about it, but i don’t wanna cause any problems for you with him,” he rambled on, his hands playing with the fabric of the t-shirt you were wearing. 

glancing up at trevor your mouth opened to speak only you were beat to punch, “hi kids. how was band practice?” slightly pulling away from trevor’s body you turned to seeing both of your parents standing in the doorway from the mudroom. grocery bags in hand, smiles on their faces. 

“i mean i just sit there, but i thought it was good,” you answered, fully untangling yourself from trevor’s arms. walking over and right away starting to help grab some of the bags. trevor was hot on your tail, passing by both of your parents with a smile as he grabbed the rest of the bags that were on the floor that you couldn’t. 

“so then why don’t we hear from the main man of that band,” you dad suggested. your entire family's eyes were on trevor, his cheeks burning pink as he started to put packages of fruit in the fridge. 

he was biting his lip when you stole a look at him from the corner of your eye. his head bobbed to what you assumed was the beat of a new song he was currently thinking of before he started to string together a response for you parents. “of course you thought it was good y/n/n, you always think it’s good,” he countered towards you. making sure that a smile was strung on his face while he teased you. “but in reality it was pretty good. would’ve been great if i would finish some more songs,” trevor revealed to your parents. his focus on putting the eggs into their spot in your fridge. 

your mother smiled over at trevor while she set her bags down on the island. the ones that held all of the ingredients for dinner. “well that’s great to hear,” she replied, trevor turning to face her once she started to speak to him again. “why don’t you guys run up to y/n’s room, and we’ll come get you when dinner’s ready.”

“are you sure?” trevor pondered, quickly looking over to you, and if you had it your way you’d be making a run for it up to your room. only trevor always wanted to help out with your when it came to your family. said that he owed it to your parents seeing as they were basically his second mom and dad. “we can help finish putting away groceries m/n. it’s not a big deal,” he informed as he folded up the reusable bag and put it back in the pantry your mom kept them in. 

she laughed while walking over to give the boy a side hug, “oh trev it’s perfectly okay. d/n can finish putting all of these away as i get dinner started.” 

“yeah i’ve got this,” your dad boasted, knocking his hip against yours while he placed his own empty bag back in the pantry. “go relax a little bit or something.” 

right away you were nodding your head, “you don’t have to tell me twice, come on z. you can talk to my parents at dinner.” before the singer could even argue with you, your hand was latched around his wrist pulling him through the dining and living rooms and up the stairs. as soon as you were in your room you let go of his wrist to fall back against your bed. “you can pick a record today trev,” you said while pulling your own phone out. shooting a quick text back to caden saying that you’d talk to him later. not going into much detail so he didn’t ask any questions of you. 

when you locked your phone you were staring over at trevor who was busy sifting through the record collect you had acquired over the years. bottom lip sucked between his teeth as he looked over all of his options. probably half of which he had gotten for you for gifts over the years. “how does mamma mia sound to you y/n/n?” he quizzed while pulling out the record. one you had probably listened to more than any of the other ones, mainly because it was the first  vinyl trevor had ever given you.

“it sounds perfect to me z,” you beamed while sliding over in your bed. moving over enough so trevor had room to sit down next to you. as soon as ‘honey, honey’ had started to play over your record players trevor was seating himself next to you. quick to lay himself out and take over half of your bed up. “so when is the next gig tz? none of you guys have even told me, and i’m supposed to be your guy’s quote unquote manager.” 

trevor’s shoulders shrugged as he pulled out his phone, going straight to the group message that you were a part of. typing out a quick message before it popped up on your phone. 

beyond michigan + y/n

trevy z:) : guys when’s our next gig. manager won’t get off my ass about it:/

y/n/n<3 : fuck off z, i just needa know so i can plan my outfit. 

y/n/n<3 : ew. let’s pretend i didn’t just say that. 

jack hughes: come on manager, you’re the one who’s supposed to know these things

pAtTy: yeah come on y/n, aren’t you the one who booked this for us? some manager you are

y/n/n<3 : thanks for defending me trez, it’s okay. just sit there jamming out to your mamma mia

turcs: z, you’re listening to mamma mia? 

trevy z:) : no. y/n’s lying. 

right away trevor was looking over at you, “y/n, please shut up. they don’t need to know about mamma mia.” shrugging your shoulders you looked back down at your phone. “oh come on!” 

beyond michigan + y/n

y/n/n<3 : we’re currently on money, money, money;) sorry trev

trevy z:) : *trevor has left the chat*

jack hughes: the next gig’s next saturday 

pAtTy: you’ve got a whole ten days to plan your outfit princess:)

y/n/n<3 : *y/n has left the chat*

locking your phone you looked over at trevor who was pouting back at you. “oh come on trev, you can’t be mad at me. you love me trevor zegras, and there’s no denying it either,” you sang while your smile started to grow. “you love me trevor zegras,” you repeated, leaning over to start poking at his toned abdomen which was hidden by the fabric of his shirt. 

after a dramatic sigh trevor looking over at you smiling, “of course i love you y/n.” you let out a victory ‘hmp’ before his blue eyes rolled at you. “do you want anything from downstairs?” he suddenly asked while changing the topic. sitting up in your bed before he pushed himself up off your bed as he stared down at you. “well i’m waiting y/n/n, do you want anything or not?” 

you couldn’t help but laugh as you rolled over on your side to give him a questioning look, “shouldn’t i be the one asking you that z? this is my house after all.” 

“well i figured since i was gonna go down there, and your parents love me,” trevor answered, slowly walking over towards the door. “so do you want anything, girlfriend, or no?” he sassed as his arms crossed over his chest. rolling your eyes at the drama queen you let out a hum. 

“just a water please,” you responded, while smiling over at him. “please and thank you trev.” 

with that he nodded his head before heading out of your room. as soon as trev left your room you pulled out your phone once more to send a text to caden. 

y/n: trev’s over for dinner, and before you freak out at me, i was planning on having you come over once i brought him home c 

caden<3 : i guess that’s okay. am i sleeping over, or can i not because i’m not trevor. like seriously, your parents are letting you and trevor sleep together in the same room in new york, but i can’t spend the night? 

y/n: baby please. trev and i have been best friends since we were born. you’re my boyfriend c. it’s a little bit of a difference. plus new york? can we not fight about this. again. 

caden<3 : yeah fine. whatever, text me when you’re bringing him home so i know when to leave

downstairs trevor padded right into the living room, rounding the corner he came face to face to see that both of your parents were still in the kitchen. only now your mom was currently working on making dinner, and your dad was sitting at the island drinking a beer to keep him company. “hey m/n, hey d/n!” he called while sliding into the kitchen. 

“hi trevor!” your dad smiled, tipping his beer bottle over towards the boy. 

your mother turning around from tossing the salad, “hey hon how are you? we barely got a chance to talk and catch up.” 

the blue eyed boy shrugged his shoulders while smiling, “well if you wouldn’t have kicked us off grocery duty we could’ve talked more.” your mother let out a small laugh before rolling her eyes at the boy. “but i’m great! i’m just grabbing y/n/n a glass of water, and highjacking a bottle of arnold palmer for myself, of course.” 

trevor didn’t notice the way that either of your parents looked at each, too focused on digging through the fridge to grab the bottle of half and half. the look that the both of them shared was a sincere on, both of them knowing something you didn’t. “you’re such a good boy trev,” your mom complimented as she went back to tossing the salad. 

“how’s the band?” your dad then inquired, taking another sip of his beer.

your best friend couldn’t fight the smile on his face while he turned his attention to the cabinet that contained the glasses. “amazing actually,” he started to explain while grabbing the glass. “there’s been some record dealtalk in the past few weeks,” he then expressed. looking over his shoulder while he filled your cup. gaging your parents reactions, loving the way they both had proud smiles. “it’s really looking good for us right now.” 

“really? that’s great!” your mother gasped while walking over to hug him. “well let’s hope that the deal goes through then,” she smiled while hugging just a little bit tighter. 

shaking his head trevor bit his lip a little bit. this was his childhood dream he was talking about. one that both your parents knew about. “that makes both of us,” he mumbled to himself. “i know that y/n/n is excited, i think that all of us are,” trevor explained while beaming towards your parents. “it seemed far fetched at first, but not anymore.” 

both of your parents were nodding their head to agree with the boy. “trevor we’ve been listening to you sing since you and y/n were two,” your father reminded, “we never thought it was far fetched.” 

“your guy’s band is amazing.” 

with blushing cheeks trevor put down the glass of water while he tried not to smile. “well thank you m/n, d/n. i would say we could sit and take about the record deal and the new york trip, but i’ve gotta bring this to y/n,” he smiled while pointing down at the glass of water before picking it up. “but thank you guys, really.” 

“anytime trev,” your mother replied before the band leader picked up the glass, his bottle of arnold palmer in his hand before walking up to your room with a smile on his face. 

the smile on his face only proceeded to grow as he walked back into your room, “one water, as asked for.” your locked your phone before turning to look over at your wide open door. “here you go y/n/n,” he smiled while handing it over to you. 

“thank you trevy,” you sang before taking a drink of it. “was dinner almost done when you were down there?” you then asked, part of you wanting to hurry up and eat so you could spend time with your boyfriend. just so there would be no more problems caused at the fact you had spent practically all of today with trevor, and hardly any time with him. 

he shrugged his shoulders while dropping back down into his trademarked spot on your bed. “your mom was tossing the salad if that means anything.” you nodded your head while setting your glass on your nightstand. “why are you that starving y/n/n? or do you have ulterior motives?” he questioned, leaning over towards you. face inches away from your own as he stared you down. 

biting your lip you shrugged your shoulders, “me with ulterior motives trevy? never.” he let out a hum before you smiled over at him, gently pushing his body away from yours, “i’m just that hungry.” a frown crossed trevor’s face as he watched your phone light up, of course it had to be a text from caden right now. 

“you’re ditching me,” he mumbled, his whole body shifting away from you. “of course you’re ditching me y/n/n. caden’s just so much better than me, isn’t he?” 

“trevor,” you rushed, leaning over to grab his arm. “trev please,” you begged, hand resting on his bicep. gently squeezing knowing that he would always give into you if you did that. “trevy-” 

he shook his head as he scoffed at you, “no y/n. you don’t get to ‘trevy’ me.” your mouth fell open as you stared over at him in shock. “you’re ditching me for caden again y/n! you always do this. ditch me and beyond michigan. you know what, i can’t right now y/n. i need to cool off a bit, so i think i’m gonna head home,” he laughed while pushing up from your bed. “needa run it off. i’ll expect your apology text sometime tomorrow morning since i’m sure caden’s gonna be here all tonight.” 

closing your eyes you let out a huff, as ‘winter takes it all’ played through your room. “trev please,” you pleaded while getting up from your bed to follow him to your door. “what about dinner? please just stay for dinner trevor. please,” you whispered, while you could feel the tears start to form in your eyes. you and trevor hadn’t fought like this in forever. “please, please stay for dinner, trevor.” once again you grabbed his bicep, pleading up at him. 

trevor shook your hold off, “suddenly i’m not hungry anymore. don’t worry i won’t tell your parents the real reason why i’m leaving. expect i’m sure they’ll figure it out once caden shows up.” with that the brunette walked out of your room and down the hall towards the stairs. shaking your head you let the tears fall as meryl streep’s voice drowned out the pain you were feeling. letting out a frustrated sigh you grabbed your phone to read the text caden had sent you. 

caden<3 : hi z, after you leave? y/n/n is all mine, like it should be:)

tears fell down your face as you typed out your response to him.

y/n: you can come over whenever

#heartbreak girl - trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #trevor zegras #jack hughes #alex turcotte #patrick moynihan #band au #new jersey devils #anahiem ducks #la kings #boston university #wisco hockey #us ntdp #usa hockey #my writing #my works

[therainbowwillow]

Alright, it’s been a hot second since I’ve written fan fiction (ahem, posted fan fiction), but I feel like my inhibitions have been adequately washed away by my extreme degree of not giving a fuck, and thus, here we are.

Hadestown AU With Crossovers to Other Myths Where Orpheus’s Terms Are That He Can’t Sing part 1/??? (It’s me, so just start typing numbers and that’s how long it’ll be.)

Orpheus’ song reverberates against the walls of Hades’ underworld. A girl emerges from the shadows, dressed in the same simple clothes as her fellow workers. She hears his voice, strained with passion. And as he sings, her memories flood back: the cold, cold winter. The ticket. Her signature. Then she remembers life, before all had felt so hopeless: flowers. Love. Finally, his name. “Orpheus!” She calls to her lover. Her would-be husband.

His song trails off. “Eurydice?” He glances around the cavern, desperately looking for his lost lover.

“Keep singing, boy.” Orpheus starts at the sound of Hades’ booming voice. “You promised a song, now give it to me.”

Eurydice sees his legs shaking, how wide his eyes are, how nervous and exhausted he looks. “I thought I heard....” he mumbles.

“I will not have your excuses, poet. Sing.”

Orpheus nods and draws his fingers across his lyre once more. Even among the horrors of Hadestown, he finds himself lost in his music. He shuts his eyes as he sings. Flowers bloom. Flowers. Hades nor Persephone could remember such a sight in the underworld, not since they’d resided in its dark walls. Persephone reaches down and brushes her divine fingers against their petals, as if to determine whether or not she’s imagining them. This mortal boy’s song, so beautiful that springtime had arrived in the underworld.

Eurydice stands, frozen in place by the music. The amnesia-inducing haze of the Lethe is lifted and the wails of shades ring the halls. Memories return to those who had forgotten their mortal lives. Lovers fall into each other’s embraces. Parents find their children.

Eurydice is fixed upon Orpheus. His song is louder than any cry. Not a single note is ever out of place. His voice never breaks. It crescendos perfectly, falls without flaw. Yet Eurydice knows that no man, not even the son of a god can keep up such perfection forever. She knows Orpheus better than anyone. She notices how gaunt he looks. The walk to Hadestown is long and hard. It had taken her a day by train, it must’ve taken a week or more to walk. She knew all he’d done was walk and sing. Orpheus wouldn’t spare a minute for anything but his song back home, he wouldn’t have done differently on his long trek to the underground. Had he eaten? Drank? Slept? Eurydice wonders.

Persephone, too, recognizes Orpheus is unwell. He’s trembling as he sings and all she can hope is that her husband doesn’t see his weakness. She takes Hades’ hand and hums along the melody. He faces her, smiling as she hadn’t seen him smile for years and years. He stands and she fears for a moment that he sees Orpheus’ desperation, so plainly written on the boy’s face. But he holds her hands in his and he sways, a slow, silent dance. At first, she doesn’t look at him, her gaze frozen upon Orpheus. The song goes on, the dance goes on, and she finally indulges herself. She’s pressed up against her husband as they hadn’t been in longer than she could remember.

Eurydice is the first to react when Orpheus begins to sway on his feet. She rushes to his side, going unnoticed by the king of the underworld, still caught up in his dance. He looks worse up close. His eyes are puffy from lack of sleep and he weighs nothing when his voice breaks and he groans, slipping into Eurydice’s arms. “Orpheus! Orpheus, you gotta stay awake,” she begs, glancing at Hades, holding his wife in a tight embrace as if nothing had changed.

He blinks wearily. “Eurydice?”

“It’s me,” she whispers. “Keep singing,” she urges him.

“W-what?” He’s hard to understand, his speech slurred by exhaustion.

“Your song, love. Sing your song.”

He leans against her. “Now? Eurydice, I’m tired.”

She hears Hades’ movement and bites her lip, determining what could convince him to keep going. “You wanna marry me, Orpheus?”

A tiny smile crosses his lips. “Yes,” he whispers.

“Sing the song.”

“Hold on to me. Please,” he implores.

“I’ve got you.” She brushes the hair out of his eyes. “Now sing.”

And he does. Eurydice watches Persephone pull her husband into her arms once more. “Keep going,” the queen of the underworld mouths.

Orpheus’ song fills the room again, quieter this time, and not quite so filled with life. Hades frees himself from his wife’s arms and sits upon his steel throne. “Where did you get that melody, boy?” He asks.

Orpheus stops singing. “I dunno.”

“Mortal poets don’t just find songs like that. Where’d you learn it?”

“I wasn’t taught.” His voice is little more than a ragged whisper. “It... it came to me, I suppose.”

“How-“

Persephone cuts him off. “Hades, the boy is half-starved. Look at him, husband. Mortals don’t last long down here. Hear the boy’s demands, husband.”

He sighs. “Yes, I see. So, poet, what do you ask of me? What do you ask of Hades, king of the underworld?”

“J-just let us go, sir.” He lifts his head. “Please.”

Hades smiles. “No one leaves the underworld.”

“I came all this way!” he cries.

“Fool!” Hades shouts. The underworld falls silent. No shade dares to cross the king of Hadestown himself. “You knew this would fail and yet you came anyway. You want to leave, you insolent idiot, then leave. Your lover with you.”

Orpheus wipes the tears from his eyes. “T-thank you,” he stammers.

“Not so fast. You leave on my terms. You will not lay eyes upon Eurydice until you reach the surface or she will be mine once more. You will not touch Eurydice or you will suffer the consequences. And your path will not be made easy. You will not sing.”

Orpheus immediately squeezes his eyes shut, so as not to look at his lover. But still, he leans against her to remain on his feet. For a second they stand together. Then Hades speaks once more.

“You forget our agreement already?” His voice is dangerous and cruel.

Orpheus yelps and collapses.

“You are not to touch her, boy. This is your consequence.”

He doesn’t move, remaining crumpled at Eurydice’s feet, gasping for breath. His knuckles go white as a new wave of pain racks his body. “Stop! Stop!” he pleads, “make it stop...”

“Hades!” Persephone grabs her husband’s wrist. “Listen to him.”

“Why should I? The boy gave me our song, I gave him my terms. He broke them, hardly a second after I gave them.” Orpheus shrieks again. Eurydice looks at him helplessly, writhing in pain at her feet.

“Let him go.” Her voice is firm. “He can’t stand on his own, he didn’t have a choice.”

He narrows his eyes. “This is not under your jurisdiction. I gave the boy what he asked. They can leave whenever they wish.”

“This is what you call justice?” she snaps.

“This is what I call control!”

Her brow furrows in disgust. “You aren’t the man I married.”

Orpheus sobs, holding his hands over his eyes. “Stop...” he moans. “Oh... please...”

Eurydice looks at the endless rows of the dead. “Help him!” she begs. No one moves. “Please! For all he gave you, this is what you return?”

“Hades, he cannot stand. He couldn’t make it out of here if he tried. This is cruel. This is evil.” Persephone glares at him.

“Perhaps he should try. He isn’t chained up.”

“How can you say that? He came all this way, grieving and filled with despair, but still, he walked. His pain is not yours to manipulate, husband.”

“He is in my realm, he is mine.” Hades snatches his hand out of her grip.

Orpheus’ hands slips from his face. For a moment, Eurydice fears that he’s seen her. But he’s silent. His eyes are closed. His breaths are shallow; the dingy underworld air seems not enough to keep him breathing. “Please!” Eurydice cries out to the bystanders. “He lifted the charm of the Lethe, he gave you your memories! Help him!”

Finally, a man pushes his way through the crowd. He makes his way to Orpheus’ side. “I’m sorry. I would’ve come faster.”

Eurydice shakes her head. “Thank you. Thank you!”

“He’s still breathing,” the man informs her. He tears a strip of fabric from his uniform and ties it over Orpheus’ eyes. “Keep him blindfolded, don’t make him do more than he must. He’ll be alright, but he can’t stay here.”

“How am I meant to get him out?” she asks.

“I don’t-“

“Patroclus!” A man shouts from behind them.

He sighs. “Achilles.”

“I thought we were done making impulsive decisions.”

“The boy’s sick. I know medicine. Besides, she’s right. How much longer could we have fought the Lethe without that song?”

Achilles looks up to Hades’ throne. He kneels and forces Patroclus to do the same. “Apologies, my lord. We’ll not interfere further.”

Patroclus stands. “Do as you will. I’m not bending my knee. Lord Hades, the boy’s in love. We both know how it is. The underworld is yours, but Orpheus is not dead. He does not belong to you.”

“Patroclus!” Achilles grabs his wrist. “Don’t,” he hisses.

“I couldn’t remember your name this morning, in case you’ve forgotten. Now I ask that you let me help him. His song gave us hope.”

Achilles exhales. “Fine. Not alone, you won’t.”

Patroclus grins.

“Enough,” Hades booms. “This is not your matter for involvement, either of you. Leave him to his fate and perhaps you’ll escape with only double hours in the mines.”

Neither man seems affected by his threats. The world is silent for a moment.

“Hades!” Persephone snaps, “I’m done with you. Spring should’ve started a month ago. I’m leaving. I’m leaving with them. Perhaps your brother could teach you something. Seduce a pretty nymph. Love a mortal. Just... leave me be.”

“Wait. Persephone.”

“I’m done waiting. I’m done. If you want to see me again, release them from your damn terms.”

“Persephone. You will not leave.”

“Try me.” She stands and steps into the center of the cavern where Orpheus lays, still barely breathing. She kneels at his side and places a hand against his forehead.

Patroclus approaches her. “He’s feverish. Dehydrated. Beyond fatigued,” he says.

She nods. “The underworld will rip the life from his lungs. Let us go before it does.”

“Persephone!” Hades rises to his full height, looming over his kingdom.

“Their terms, Hades.”

He scowls. “I release them. They may see and touch each other. The furies, however, will not be so easily convinced.” Defeated, he sinks back into his chair. Then he rises. “But the boy will not sing, so long as he is in my realm. His lover made a deal. She was to be mine. He may have her, but he’ll lose something in return. His pretty little song.”

Persephone scowls. It’s not what she asked for, but it’ll have to do for now.

In an instant, Eurydice pulls her lover into her arms. “I’m here, I’m here. I’m so sorry, Orpheus,” she whispers in his ear.

Persephone takes his hand. “Wake up,” the goddess whispers, “Come on, baby, wake up.”

Orpheus gasps and his eyes flutter open. He throws his hands over his face to shield his view. “Eurydice...” he mumbles.

“I’m here. You can look at me. There’s no more terms. Look at me.” She pulls his hands away and he looks at her.

“I... ugh...” he groans, slumping against her.

“Shh, it’s alright. Don’t talk. We’re gonna get out of here. Together.”

He shuts his eyes again. “Mm hm.”

“Orpheus, it’s a long walk to Hadestown. You didn’t eat much on the way?”

He shakes his head. “I didn’t have anything to eat.”

“Orpheus...” her voice breaks. “Thank you.”

“I couldn’t stand living without you.”

“You won’t have to,” she tells him. “You never have to leave my side again. I promise.”

“We need to go,” Achilles says. “Now.”

Eurydice turns to face him. “He needs rest.”

“We’ll have worse than exhaustion to contend with.” There’s shuffling in the crowd. “Hades still has loyal workers.”

“Hades.” Persephone growls. “He’s right, Eurydice. This is a trap he’s laying. They’ll follow us.”

“Can he stand, Eurydice?” Patroclus asks.

She doubts it. He looks like a blade of grass could knock him over. “We’ll find out.” She says.

#orphydice #hadestown #hadestown au #hadestown fanfic #therainbowwrites

[alfredosauce50]

What makes me human [Cyberpunk! America x reader 10]

Wordcount: 5,809 Rating: T for strong language and mild violence “Can’t you see that none of this is real? You’re living in the past, dumbass! It’s all a dream! If you don’t wake up soon, you’ll regret it!” Chapter synopsis: Half-dead, Allen falls into a strange realm of existence. It's nothing he's seen before, but it feels awfully familiar. He soon learns he's stuck in the past, and it's all in his head. He'll do whatever it takes to wake up and save Alfred from his demise he once played a part in. The reader is referred to as she/her.

Songs to listen to while you read (in order as found in playlist): 2049, Ghost in the shell - Original mix, Something about us, Cloudy day, L, The voice in my head. I have indented song titles throughout the chapter so you can change accordingly. Starting now:

2049, Ghost in the Shell - Original mix

“His condition is stable. He’s in a coma, but he’s gonna be fine.”

“A coma? For how long?”

Where were the voices coming from? Was there one person or two people speaking? He couldn’t tell. But his interest quickly changed to another subject.

Am I dead?  

With whatever brain activity he had left, that question was the only thing he heard repeating in his head like a broken record. 

He couldn’t see anything, let alone feel anything as he drifted into an abyss of nothingness. In fact, it was so empty, he couldn’t even say it was darkness he was engulfed in. Just nothingness. Was this what people experienced before walking over to the other side? Or was he going to be stuck here forever? Allen couldn’t tell. Not when there was no concept of time in this strange realm of existence, anyway. 

His eyes shot open. It took a few moments for his vision to adjust, but he came to realize he was sitting in his car. Huh. Was that all a dream? Whatever it was, it had escaped his mind so seamlessly, he couldn’t remember anything. Leaning forward to peer out the window, he was greeted with an onslaught of neon lights. Neon signs, holograms, and posters surrounded him from all angles and heights. At least that told him he wasn’t far from home. Turning to the front, he attached his hands to the wheel. Now, to get back. 

If he drove around for a few minutes, he’d surely pinpoint his location relative to Arthur’s auto shop. Revving up the engine, he heard it purr to life. As a small grin stretched over his lips, he pulled out of the cul-de-sac to move to the main street. “I missed you too.” He murmured, never letting his gaze stray from the road. Eventually, he made it to a familiar intersection. Before he could pass through it, he stopped and found himself staring at what looked like a police chase coming to an end. 

A helicopter hovered over a car stopped in the center. Over the fierce thumping of its blades, he heard a grungy voice barking out orders through a loudspeaker. He couldn’t make out what it was, but it didn’t look like they were followed. Not when the occupants in the vehicle were immediately shot upon stepping out–collapsing to the ground after a rain of machine gunfire blew them apart. 

“Jesus Christ…” He mumbled under a frown. “Poor bastards.” 

After they all dropped like flies, the helicopter took off in another direction. And just like that, they were gone. 

The police in Twilight city were ruthless as always. Quick to action, and yet, just as dismissive. But it wasn’t his business. So long as he played his cards right, he wouldn’t have to deal with them. Making a right turn, he breathed out a sigh as he made a detour. He never liked using alleyways. There was no saying if he’d run into a couple of weirdos in places like these. Speaking of weirdos, there was a couple of men huddling around a corner.  It piqued his curiosity to see them so interested in whatever it was they surrounded. Or more accurately put, who they surrounded. A girl. Slowing to a stop behind a tall bundle of crates, he leaned over to the right to get a better look. She was shaking in her boots, and her lips were trembling as she struggled to respond to the questions thrown at her. And how old was she anyway? 10? 11?

“That doesn’t look good.” Allen narrowed his eyes.

He climbed out of his car.  

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his bomber jacket, he approached the group slowly. But when one of the men took a hold of her shoulder, adrenaline surged through his veins and he burst into a sprint. When he got close enough, he grabbed said man’s shoulder before throwing his fist back. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” Punching him square in the face, he sent him hurtling towards the ground. 

Immediately, his cronies responded by pouncing on the newcomer for giving one of their buddies a black eye. After a few minutes of violent tousling, he managed to beat them all into submission. 

Leaving them groaning and wincing in the dirt, he gave his hand a rough shake. Phew. He hadn’t had a good fight in ages. Giving his bottom lip a light tap to find a small blotch of red on his fingertip. And he won against three people too,  escaping with only a busted lip. Before he could gloat about it, he glanced around to find the girl. Where did she go? 

Assuming she ran away, he shrugged and moved back to his car. If she wasn’t here, then he wouldn’t be obliged to help her any more than that. But upon nearing his vehicle, he spotted a small pair of feet poking out from the back. Then, they proceeded to shuffle back to become completely concealed. Breathing out a chuckle at that, he rested his hands on his hips. 

“I can see you.” 

No response. 

“You can come out now.” Making his way around the trunk, the child buried her face into her knees upon realizing she had been discovered. A light frown downturned his features at the sight of her shaking like a leaf. “Man, am I that scary?” He murmured, lowering himself to his knees. “Hey, kid. I’m not gonna hurt ya. I was just passing by. I promise I won’t do anything.” 

She kept her face hidden, but her trembling seemed to calm. 

“Well, if you’re not gonna say anything, I’ll be on my way. Just make sure to move out of the way so I don’t run you over.” Standing up on his feet, he turned his back to her. Before his fingers could do so little as graze over the car handles, a faint voice piped up. 

“Wait!” 

Allen grinned and spun on his heel. “Yes?”

She stood up slowly, but kept her head low to avoid his gaze. Without removing her hands from her pants, which she was clenching at, she opened her mouth again. “Could you maybe… Tell me where the train station is? I got kinda lost.” The way she spoke was soft, breathless even, and more so than Allen’s who just beat up a bunch of no-good-doers. 

“The train station?” The redhead questioned. Not that he didn’t know where it was. In fact, it was only a few blocks down, but he had to think twice about sending a ten-year-old off to wander the streets around here. The same streets a police shootout just took place, and the same streets where she was approached by a couple of hooligans. “How about I drop you off? I’m not in a hurry. I dunno if you wanna walk around by yourself after what happened.” 

He said it before, and he’d say it again. This city was an absolute shithole. 

“R-really? But I’m not sure…” The enthusiasm faded as quickly as she lit up. “I don’t know you.” 

“And I don’t know you either.” Allen hummed. “So you’re just as dangerous to me as I am to you. Sound fair?” 

The girl furrowed her brows. 

“That doesn’t make sense. You’re way older than me.”

“Oh yeah? I’m only eighteen though. Lemme guess, ten? Twelve?”

“Thirteen.” She answered, relaxing just a touch at the sound of his age. At first glance, one would have assumed he was in his early twenties, but she was relieved to know she was wrong. “Are you still in high school?”

The man blinked. Was she warming up already? “Nope. I finished nearly a year ago. But that doesn’t mean I sit around all day with nothing to do.” He opened the car door to the driver’s seat. “You’re lucky I was out and about to get your ass out of trouble. So what do you say we keep it that way?” 

The ride there didn’t take long, much to Allen’s surprise. By the time his GPS revealed that they had arrived, he had slowed down near the curb in front of one of the tallest skyscrapers in Twilight city. Sliding the window down, he poked his head out to give his surroundings a gander. The blinding lights of the liveliest commercial center forced him to squint, but he could still tell this was the city center. And that only meant the residential lots were a little further down. 

“You sure this is the right address? There’s nothing but malls and stuff around here.” He shouted over the bustle of people crossing the streets and pounding of music. 

“No, this it the right place. I live right there in that building!” Climbing over to the side, she pointed at Matsumoto Optics. 

Exchanging glances with the said building, then the girl, he gave his head a light shake. “What do you mean, you live right there? Nobody–” He paused, feeling dread settle in his stomach. “Wait a sec. What was your name again, kid?”

“(F/N) Matsumoto. My dad actually owns the whole plaza.” 

He paled. 

“Holy shit.”

Why did it feel like a gun was pointing at him?

Because there was one. 

Whipping his head to the window next to him, he found himself staring straight down the barrel of a gun. While his heart broke out into a pounding frenzy, he came to notice that his whole car was surrounded by men in suits. Bringing out every kind of shootable weapon that existed, his blood ran cold at the sound of more than twenty firearms cocking at once. From every angle there was, he was aimed at by something. “Fuck.” 

“Put your hands where I can see them!” One of the men demanded.

Allen threw his arms up. “Alright, alright!”

Glass shattered. A hand shot through the broken window and hit him in the back of the neck, hard. “Gh-!” It knocked him out immediately. Then, his unconscious body was dragged out of the car with next to no grace.

So much for following orders. 

When he finally came to, all he knew was the throbbing pain in his neck, and the rope burns around his arms and wrists. Since they were tightly bound together, he could only blink away the fuzz in his vision. This day had to be the longest yet. All he remembered was waking up in his car completely disoriented, then saving a middle-schooler from a bunch of creeps. Where was this place? An office of some sort? How did he wind up here again? All he could do was speculate as he continued to kneel on the carpeted ground. 

“My daughter told me you saved her from a group of ruffians.” A low voice began, forcing him to look up. My daughter? Did that mean he was Matsumoto? The Takahiro Matsumoto? The most powerful person on the planet? The person whose name he heard every minute of the day from slogans? His suspicions were confirmed when he found himself gawking at a beast of a man, who stood a little over six feet with a long gray beard. 

Wait a minute, this guy was old? And this… Built? “If she hadn’t, you wouldn’t have woken up.” 

Allen tensed. 

“… Right. Well, I’m sorry for whatever I did. I didn’t know she was… A Matsumoto.” He breathed. “If I did, I would’ve let her ride the train herself. Didn’t think putting her in my car warranted a death sentence.” 

“But you are alive, boy. And she is too, thanks to you.” The older man graciously responded, giving his head a firm pat. Then, he lowered his gaze to meet the other’s eyes. “I see an unwavering sense of justice from you. There were three men you had to fend off to keep her safe, and you only managed to let them hit you once.”

“…”

“You have talent.” 

“… Thanks.”

“If you haven’t noticed already, I want to recruit you.” 

The redhead had to do a double-take. Were his ears playing tricks on him, or did he actually say– 

“You wanna… Hire me?” 

Matsumoto nodded. “Like I just said. You have the skills to be a bodyguard, and we are in urgent need of one.” An ominous light glinted in his dark eyes as he opened his mouth again. “Did you ever wonder why there was a job opening?”

Allen gave a nervous laugh. On second thoughts, maybe laying low in Arthur’s auto shop was the better option. “Thanks, but no thanks. I was just lucky today, and I’m not a pro. I think you’re better off hiring somebody else–” 

The other hardened his stare at him. “We have an elaborate training program to prepare you for your duties. I see no reason for you to reject.” With a swift flick of his wrist, he beckoned over a few men who had been standing on the sidelines. “These gentlemen weren’t half as good as you when they began. Now, they are the best any secret service has to offer. Their combat skills are impeccable, and their instincts refined to perfection.” 

When he sensed he had fallen right into a trap, he wasn’t wrong. 

“I wouldn’t imagine it to be hard for them to locate anybody residing in this city. Even your friend, Arthur, the British mechanic.” 

Seeing that Allen was now at loss for words, he smiled. 

“I believe it would be in your best interest to work for me, Jekyll.”

That same day he was recruited, his induction took place. And boy, was it a lot. By the time they had finished, night had fallen. Fortunately, he could treat himself to a hot dinner in the dining court before retiring to his room. He couldn’t say being given his own condo was unexpected, but when he stepped inside to become completely immersed in luxury, he was faced with a rude awakening. Up here where the air stretched thin over the blinking lights of Twilight city, he was reminded how out of place he was.

All his life, he was at the bottom. He grew up a street rat before he was taken in by a kind mechanic. And he taught him everything he knew. Never did he imagine he would ever be this high up in the clouds, working in a high-ranking position under a man comparable to God. And the longer he lingered on this reality, thrusted to him without his say, the hotter his eyes felt. There was no saying if he could go home again.

And that meant he wouldn’t be seeing Arthur anytime soon.

The next morning, he woke up the groggiest he’d ever felt in his life. Squinting at the window that happened to take up his whole wall, he was graced with a hot orange sunrise. It cast a pinkish haze over everything in his sight like a filter, but he was far too exhausted to appreciate the scenery. He checked his phone. 6:23 AM. Twenty missed calls and twelve text messages. Crap. He’d call him later. He needed to figure himself out first.

Giving his face a cold splash of water, he rubbed his eyes clean. Lifting his head to the mirror, he found himself staring at his reflection, which of course, stared right back. Did he always look this young? He snorted. What was he thinking? Of course he did. He was only eighteen, after all. Sliding himself in a dress shirt and pants, he finished off the look by throwing on a black blazer. Then, he gave his appearance a hard stare. “… Nope. This looks stupid.” Leaving the bathroom in a white tank and bomber jacket, he ventured out into empty morning halls to find the elevator.

Once he made it to the third floor, he began his journey to the training dojo. The walls were a beige white, the floors a polished wood, and there were shoji screens everywhere. He was washed over with a strange sense of déjà vu. But considering this was his first time here, that couldn’t be the right phrase. Jamais vu was more like it. He was here with the impression he’d never been before, but he somehow knew that was a lie.

And it was a gut feeling so strong, it was kind of eerie.

He couldn’t understand why he was feeling this way. And not being the thinking type, he chose to brush it off. He had enough to worry about already, so the last thing he wanted was to overthink a foreign environment. Maybe some exercise could clear his head— and that was exactly what he’d be doing today. His rigorous training program.

Entering a spacious room, he stepped inside to feel his shoes sink into soft tatami mats.

“Don’t even think about taking another step in here with those shoes on, Jekyll.”

A very rigorous training program.

***

Something about us, L

It had only been a few days since arriving here at Arthur’s, but you were slowly regaining your strength. With every new morning, you awakened with more energy than the last. Perhaps the small light of hope of seeing Allen do the same was what urged you to become an early riser. But like yesterday, and the day before, that hope was shattered at the sight of him unconscious in bed. He didn’t even move an inch.

Nearing his side, you lowered yourself to your knees and reached out to his cheek. Talking to him while he slept had become routine to you. You’d tell him about your day, everything you did, and all your conversations you ever had. If not, you’d reminisce the past so he wouldn’t feel left out. He never interrupted, and let you run off on tangents until you were sick of talking. “I really hope you wake up soon, Allen. I feel like… I’m talking to myself here.” Your voice was soft with a heart-wrenching kind of sadness, but you refused to linger on it.

After all, how could you expect him to wake so soon? You knew how strong he was, but it would be selfish to want something impossible. So you forced yourself to leave the room, figuring you would feel better if you focused on something else. Little did you know, someone had been lurking in the halls during your visit.

Alfred had his back pressed up to the wall outside while you dropped by, and he heard everything. And not even from just this morning. Everything you ever told Allen, he listened in on too. 

He knew better than to infringe on your privacy, and hear things that were better off left unheard. But he kept finding himself hiding outside in the hall, doing it again and again—even Arthur had caught wind of it. 

He heard footsteps clunking against the metal floor, but he never bothered to turn to it. Usually, Arthur would’ve kept on walking. But not today he didn’t. “If you like her so much, you should just tell her.” He’d murmur. 

Alfred whipped his head to him with his eyes widened ever so slightly. But he visibly eased seeing it was just him. And rather than denying his claims, he tore his gaze away. “I can’t.” His brows were furrowed for creases to form between them. Arthur was almost taken aback, having never seen him so frustrated. 

“Why not?” The Brit responded, resting his back against the wall beside the man. “It’s painful seeing you loiter out here all day. I’d say I felt sorry for you, but you’ve been eavesdropping on her for a while.” At the sound of that, the other’s cheeks flushed red. So his guess was right on the mark, after all. “She’s coming out right now. Might wanna make a run for it while you still can.” 

“Guys?” Another voice joined, forcing the two men to spin around. 

The mechanic bit back a snort. “Too late. I’ll be in the garage.” He whispered. Shooting you a brief smile, he turned on his heels to leave. “You two have fun now. I have lots of work to do today.” With that said, he disappeared to do exactly that, but not without a few chuckles under his breath. For the many years he knew the guy, he never found anything he wasn’t good at. There was nothing he couldn’t do. Looking over his shoulder, he caught a glimpse of Alfred with a hand on his neck, laughing nervously. 

That perfect track record was finally ending, it seemed. 

At least he wouldn’t have to watch him fumble around with his feelings for long. You and Alfred were planning to leave in a few days to God knows where, to do God knows what. Frankly speaking, he didn’t know what you were doing, hanging around such a shady guy like him. That was right. You two arrived with your bodyguard Allen, who was half-dead then, and barely clinging to life now. What the hell happened? Wouldn’t your father be concerned?

Maybe he’d ask Allen himself, if he’d awaken anytime soon, that was. For now, he’d stay on the sidelines and help Alfred repair his missing Mantis blades as he’d requested. He was restless without them, frequently interrupting his work with, “Are you done yet?” until he finished for the day. Arthur narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue, shutting the garage door behind him. Whatever you two had planned, he couldn’t imagine it to be legal. 

***

Cloudy day

A few months had gone by, and he was finally getting settled in his new workplace. But there was no saying when he’d ever be forgiven for it. Not that he could even explain himself. What was he even supposed to say? I saved a girl from a bunch of creeps and put her in my car to take her home but she wasn’t just any girl and turned out to be the daughter of Matsumoto himself and now I’m being threatened to work for them because they know where you live. That surely wouldn’t fly. Especially when he went through all that just to be a glorified babysitter. 

He just knew Arthur was buried up to the neck with work, now that he was alone. Breathing out a sigh at the thought, he rolled his head to the said girl sitting by a cherry wood coffee table, whose nose was buried in a book. 

“You ever get bored reading stuff all day?” He began, stretching his arms across the backrest of the couch. 

She shrugged. “Sometimes. But I have to study, otherwise I’ll fall behind.” 

Allen nodded, stretching his lips into a flat line. “Fair enough. Well, I did just graduate high school, so if you need any help with… Math or whatever, just let me know.” Surely, seventh-grade level wouldn’t be too difficult for him.

“Mm… Thanks, but I don’t think you can help me with what I’m doing. This is like… College level stuff.” You gave him a sheepish smile, to where he gawked at you in response. 

“Wow, you a genius or something?” 

“I don’t think I am.” 

“You’re just being humble, kid. It’s fine to be proud of yourself, ya know. ‘Specially now, cuz it gets kinda annoying when adults do it.” Allen grinned, hopping up from his spot to give her hair a ruffle. She could only hang her head to hide the embarrassed pout on her lips. Fortunately, their height difference let her do so. 

“Thanks, I guess…” It was only when he pulled his hand away did she look up again. In her line of vision was a chest of drawers, and she reached out to point towards it. “Also, could you mind checking if my USB’s in there? I think I left it in one of the drawers yesterday.” 

The redhead spun around. “Sure, no prob.” 

Pulling out one of the compartments, he rummaged around random bits and bobs until he caught sight of said USB. Besides the connecter, the storage disk was fairly long and flat. This thing could’ve stored hundreds of terabytes of data if it could. That translated to hundreds of computers’ worth of information. Picking it up, he held it in his fingers to give it a brief study. Before he called over to you with his lips separated ajar, he found himself entranced by it. 

But what was so interesting about something as common as a storage disk? For some reason, the small object in his hand resonated with him. It was… So familiar. As if he’d seen something like this before. Or perhaps, it reminded him of something he forgot about. Problem was, he didn’t know what. And it was a gut feeling so strong, he couldn’t seem to shake it off. 

The voice in my head

That night, he was called to his superior’s office for a security briefing. Appearing through the tall double door, he walked in with his hands in his pockets. Situated deep in the room, and just by the window overlooking the blinking lights of the city, was his desk, and the man Matsumoto himself. His chair spun around to reveal a bearded man well into his seventies with a light scowl on his face. “I expect you to wear the uniform suitable for these occasions, Jekyll.” 

Allen blinked before rubbing his neck. “Right, sorry. Forgot.” In all honesty, he considered showing up in a black tie and all, but it wasn’t the most comfortable fit in the world. “So, what’dya call me in for?”

The other clasped his hands together and gave him a firm stare. “Even in my company, you have moments of… Stepping out of line. Breaches of discipline.” He gestured to his attire, letting it do the speaking. “I may overlook some inconsistencies in exchange for your services, but there is one rule you must not break under any circumstances.” 

Silence fell in the room so you could hear a pin drop. It gave Allen some room to think–to guess what his superior was going to warn him about. A secret basement that locked up human guinea pigs he wasn’t supposed to stumble into, perhaps? But that was ridiculous. So he stayed quiet, prepared to listen intently to the man. Surely, his guess was far from reality. 

“There is a… Basement a few floors beneath the lobby.” 

Allen froze. He’d heard this before. 

Otherwise, how else could he guess that he’d say this? 

“I keep my most prized possessions in there. Personal vehicles and upgrades. Nothing goes in and out undetected. So don’t even think about stepping inside.” He couldn’t believe a word he said, as calm and convincing his tone was. 

Allen had an idea why. 

He sensed something was off the minute he came here. It was all so obvious–the familiarity of the dojo halls, the USB, and even his face in the mirror. He’d seen it all before. Previously, he’d brushed it all off. But he couldn’t deny it any longer now that he had this conversation, a conversation he already had. So if his intuition was right, that meant he could guess what was actually in the basement. And there were no fancy sports cars to speak of. 

He gritted his teeth as his tanned complexion began to pale. Then, his stomach began to churn. 

“… Are you unwell?” 

He lifted his head and shook it. “Nah. Just lost in thought.” 

“You may lose yourself in the emptiness in your head as much as you desire, but not in my presence. If you don’t have any questions, you are dismissed.” 

“Yessir.” 

Turning on the spot to leave, a deep frown downturned his features now that he wasn’t facing him anymore. Something was terribly wrong. And he was about to confirm it. A couple of hours later when the whole building fell quiet, he snuck down to the basement floor through the elevator. And while he ran through the pitch-black halls to the door in the end, he couldn’t get this thought out of his mind. He’d definitely done this before, too. 

Swinging the door open, he was greeted with a familiar stench of death. But he didn’t have time to gag. Running to the two pods, he never bothered turning on his night vision. He trusted his body and his muscle memories to guide the way. And it was the right call, because he found himself standing by the pods in no time. Lifting up one of the hatches to find a mummified corpse, he stared with an unreadable expression. 

He wasn’t even surprised. And that was really telling, considering he would’ve vomited at the sight. But this only solidified his suspicions. This wasn’t new.

Nothing was. 

Turning to the other pod, he fiddled around the latches for a minute or so before giving in. This one couldn’t be opened, not without proper authorization. Okay, this was new. He didn’t remember this pod being locked. So he jabbed his fingers into a couple of buttons, unable to resist his curiosity. He couldn’t leave any stones unturned. Thankfully, his rapid button smashing eventually did do something to reveal what was inside. 

The glass that was previously fogged up cleared. 

Inside lay a man. A blonde. His skin was flawless in save for the outlines of removable plates. He was a cybernetically enhanced individual, but not one he wasn’t already acquainted with. 

“We put him to sleep for fifty years…” 

“By the time he gained his consciousness, we turned him into a killing machine.”

 “Even to this day, he remains my greatest creation.“

Fragments of his memory began to play in his head. All until he could remember the name of the sleeping figure. It was Alfred. And he had yet to wake up to go on a killing rampage, or in other words, the first time they’d ever meet.

Allen eventually retreated back to his condo. The first thing he did was go to the bathroom and splash cold water to his face. If he wanted to figure out what the hell was going on, he needed to clear his convoluted mind first. Either he was a psychic or stuck in another reality. But he wasn’t bright enough to be a psychic. And interdimensional travel wasn’t invented. Yet. So what could it be?

While he rubbed the bridge of his nose with his wet fingers, his train of thought was interrupted by a voice. And it sounded just like his, but deeper. 

Glancing up to the source, he found himself staring at his own reflection in his mirror. But he came to realize it wasn’t him–rather, it was an older version of him. They had the same face, eye color, and hair, but the person who glared back at him had sharper features, and a more defined jawline. Unbeknownst to him, it was the subconscious of his present self.

“What the hell are you doing?” He hissed.

Slamming his hands against the mirror, the loud bang caused Allen to jump. “Can’t you see that none of this is real? You’re living in the past, dumbass! It’s all a dream! If you don’t wake up soon, you’ll regret it!” 

Allen dug his hands through his hair, and before he could even question him, panic overwhelmed his system. Not that he needed to, because everything he was just told made perfect sense. “W-Wake up? But… But how?”

“What do you think genius? You have to die!” The other screamed. “If you don’t wake up soon, Alfred and (F/N) are gonna get away with the chip! You can’t let him put it in his head! The Soulkiller will destroy him!” 

Fuck. 

He felt himself tense up in all reality as more memories flowed back to him. That was right. He was in a coma after being stabbed by a katana. He remembered how desperate he was as he fought to stay awake, all so he could warn Alfred he was falling into a trap. But he failed, and wound up in another realm of reality. His dreams. And if he didn’t wake up soon, there was going to be hell to pay. 

Shoving his hand into his jacket, he pulled out a gun. 

Then, he exchanged wary glances with his subconscious, who nodded at him. 

He cocked it. “If you’re wrong… And I die in real life…” It wasn’t like he had anything to threaten him with, though. “Let’s hope I don’t.” Sliding the gun into his mouth, he screwed his eyes shut. Then, he pulled the trigger.

Shooting up with a loud gasp, he finally awakened from the longest trauma-induced sleep he’d ever had. Almost immediately, he heard somebody else let out a scream of genuine fear. “Ah–!” By the foot of the bed he was laying in was Arthur, and he’d fallen right out of his chair. “Jesus fucking Christ! If I’d known you’d wake up like that, I would’ve sat further away!”

Standing back onto his feet, he was never fast enough to stop Allen from sliding himself off the bed. “Hey– watch it! You can’t move right away!” 

“How did I get here?” 

Arthur stepped back as his friend loomed over him. “Well–I’m not sure how you fell into a coma, but it was Alfred and (F/N) who brought you in.” 

Thank god.  “And where are they now?”

The other shrugged with a look of defeat. “I don’t know, honestly. All I know is they’re doing something dangerous. Alfred wouldn’t leave before I helped him install a new set of mantis blades.” 

“Fuck!” He hissed, feeling his heart sink to the pit of his stomach. Bile was even rising in his throat as he reflected on the possibility that Alfred was already dead. “I was too late. I was too fucking late.” Shaking his head as heat accumulated behind his eyes, he paused for a moment, letting hot tears of frustration run down his face. Then, he gripped Arthur’s shoulders when he was hit with an epiphany. With the slim chance they only left recently, he still had time. 

“How long have they been gone for?”

The blonde pondered for a moment, but the concern in his eyes never faded. “Only a week, give or take. Why? What’s wrong?” 

Before Allen could breathe out a sigh of relief, he was gripped with a panic-inducing sense of urgency. “That means I can still save him!” If he remembered correctly, the Soulkiller virus needed at least two weeks before the damage became permanent. So if he could somehow find you both in seven days, he could save Alfred. “No questions. I’ll explain in the car! We have to find them as soon as possible!” 

He would’ve been dead if it weren’t for him. 

So in return for saving his life, he’d do anything to save his too. 

#hetalia fanfiction #hetalia #hetalia x reader #reader insert #hetalia fanfic #america x reader #aph #aph america #aph america x reader #2p!talia #2p!america #2p!america x reader #2p america #2p america x reader #cyberpunk #cyberpunk 2077 #fanfiction #allen jones #allen jones x reader #alfred f jones

[mc-doppomine]

My Ranking of Matenrou Songs

All done in good fun and is just my silly opinion. Music is totally subjective and what I find to like may not be what you come to like. So take everything with a handful of salt. Includes all of their album songs. I’m not including the battles as that’s probably deserving its own listing. Will throw Wrap & Rap and Lesson in there for fun too.

Overall, I think Matenrou is sort of hit or ‘eh, it’s fine’ for me. It’s either such a bop, that’s all I’m listening to for weeks. Or it’s one that I might go seek out either for researching purposes or it’s just specific mood. No real in between. And that’s probably because of the major differences in their members. It’s clear they were formed because of Jakurai’s eccentricity and fondness of it. And with any of the crews, I tend to like the team ones. I just like hearing different voices coming together. Especially when theirs is made to sound nice together. So yeah. 

13) Welcome U - It just didn’t feel like a Matenrou song for me. I’m sorry! I have no idea what Matenrou songs are but this just wasn’t it for me. I just didn’t vibe with it. Which is weird considering this was the first major song of Matenrou and technically my first since I did do the anime series first. But let’s put it like this, I can literally remember every other thing of the entire episode that featured this song...besides the song. Everything. But. The. Music. Of a series where the music is the focus. That’s not good. But to be fair, I more or less like one song from each team from the anime and Welcome U was not it for Matenrou. 

12) Papillon - Mmm, I dunno. I like the song in theory since it is very much them just kicking back and that’s cute. In practice? I don’t know how it didn’t click for me. I don’t think it was because of the talking because that was done in Ohayo Ikebukuro and I like that one. And I do find it fun as it absolutely sounds like them talking in the car. Maybe it’s just which styles blended together? I really can’t place why I do not like this one as much. Don’t hate it, don’t love it.  

11) Champagne Gold - I know! I know! I don’t know how we came to this considering I like Hifumi over Jakurai. But I just couldn’t get into this one! Maybe it was at a disadvantage because it was such a stark contrast with the others on the album. I have no idea. I do know I was a little put off by call back since it really just sounded like him in a higher pitch...which is fine but I’m pretty sure they just used a girl’s voice in an earlier part of the song and I just don’t get why didn’t use something like that for the call back. And too many champagnes. I am concerned for your liver, Hifumi.

10) The Champion - Poor frickin’ Hifumi. I’m sure he had to despair when he was looking through the verses of his teammates. Like do you guys know how to write a victory song??? Which is a shame because Hifumi’s verse and style was so suited for this sound. I honestly I don’t think it was the the verses so much as the chorus though? I know their voices generally sound deeper than most of the other divisions but felt like worked against them in this song. 

9) Lesson - And I think this is the last of my ‘I probably wouldn’t look it up too often’ songs on this list. I honestly thought Ramuda took the show in this one but I mean it kinda makes sense since this was him teaching Jakurai and of course Jakurai is gonna sound clumsier than him. I find this one really cute. It also was fun listening to how the beat switched up for every lesson. I think it’s only lower because I don’t have a way to listen to it consistently. But I do think of Jakurai actually ‘putting up his white flag’ to Ramuda and Ramuda able to point out Jakurai’s strengths was also super cute and also super sad thinking about what came after this. 

8) Party wo Tomenaide and You Are, Therefore I Am - Yes, I had a tie. Mainly because they have the same reasoning for being here. And that’s that they both have tripped me into their arms and not let me go. I wasn’t too into them before but both of them have grown on me. Ah, I think Party wo Tomenaide’s lyrics just ends up attacking my feels and it’s one of those pop songs that are actually sad and I don’t know, somehow that’s a subset of my music tastes. Meanwhile I wasn’t into the ‘being taken to church’ songs that are usual in hip-hop genre but I was really surprised by the content of the lyrics and it honestly sounds like Jakurai’s happy in this one. 

7) Fallin’ - This may have a slight edge just because I just think of that entire frickin’ episode when I listen to that song. And I dunno, anyone else feel like this was like them testing out if Matenrou could do the pace for what would be Tomoshibi? That’s what I feel like with that one. 

6) Labyrinth Wall - I feel like not a lot of people like this song. And I mean, I guess if I had think about the lyrics for a long time, I probably would be like ‘you okay over there Jakurai?’ But I dunno, the pace and the off-vocals? Banger. That swell into his chorus? Absolutely fucking great. Naaa...! Shindara doko ni--I chose this over frickin’ Tigridia for my ringtone for that part.

5) Tigridia - I originally had loved Tigridia first and that’s mainly because it was the first song I was listening to that used Doppo’s ‘natural’ voice all the way through. He has a nice voice! The sax is hella sexy in the background. Nice little bit of jazz. I’m surprised this wasn’t my friend’s favorite track tbh. But it eventually got beat out as my knowledge of hypmic grew.  

4) Wrap & Rap - Look. Look you can judge me all you want but this is one of those songs that could be played while I’m at some of my worst and I can’t help but smile at it. It’s my Sugar Song and Bitter Step. It’s a dose of seretonin and has to be parsed out because I have to go looking for this song if I wanna listen to it.  

3) Black or White - Yeah yeah, go ahead. Be unsurprised that my fave is at the top of the solos. But to be fair, I fell in love with Doppo’s verses and songs before I fell for him. Black and white ended up a hit for me with its vibe (although I admit I found a cover first and only realized when I going back through songs). When I learned the lyrics, I can’t help but smile and feel those words in my bones of miserable workdom. It makes my terrible shifts bearable.

2) Tomoshibi - I get so emotional over this song still. And it’s just. So. Vulnerable. I don’t know how to describe the feeling I get of actually thinking about the lyrics. And then just the music itself. It’s like a drive in the evening or early morning as it starts raining (I actually do often listen to this song on my morning drives). I’m never gonna stop getting got by the interjections of their teammates within their verses and how their tone changes after being picked up by that person. I can’t even with that--! It isn’t so slow it’s ballad-y but it’s not a dance thing. Which may be why it is just below my number 1. 

1) Shinjuku Style ~ Don’t Make Us Laugh ~ - If it hasn’t occurred to y’all by now, I’m a being in love with vibe of let’s fuck shit up and being a bad bitch. And that’s all I got from this song. Like how no one heard this song and didn’t go for the throat with these bastards is anyone’s guess. Especially since that Hifumi’s best diss verse and he chose VIOLENCE. And they just? Had such strong boss energy??? I don’t know how to put it! I love the mania of Doppo’s verse and also I continually laugh because he and Jakurai literally call Doppo and Hifumi some psychopaths. Like you wouldn’t think that dealing with them. Then you meet them on the battleground and you know it’s not an idle threat. This is one of those songs that if I had to get pulled over, let it be while I’m peeling down the highway to this. 

#song thoughts #matenrou

[jeawrites]

20,m,p,z with Terroriser x Wildcat

((here you go anon!! its a bit long so its under the cut, haha))

20. Drunken night aftermath (no smut but,, the aftermath)

m. “I’m not leaving without you.”

p. “Morning, Cutie.”

z. “I’m being serious.”

“Boys night!”

God that sounded stupid, now that Tyler was actually thinking about it. It was a suggestion thrown onto the table by Anthony, who was really just looking for an excuse to get everyone in one place for a night to catch up. That had been pretty hard to do lately, so no one could blame him. 

But god, calling it a boys night sounded weird. It gave Tyler weird memories of high school and he cringed lightly, sipping off his beer to neglect any more attention on that thought.

“Tyyyyllller,” Brian cooed, elbowing him with a kind smile. He wasn’t drunk, Tyler knew that for a fact, but he definitely wasn’t too sober. 

“What do you want, Bri?” he asked, placing his mug down before turning to look at the Irish man. 

Honestly, he didn’t mind finally having a conversation- he had been straying away from the main conversations held by the group, lost in his own head. 

“Ye’ve been thinking for a while, so I figured ye’d want company,” he said, swirling the whisky in his glass like he was some smug asshole-

Well, sometimes he was but he seemed genuinely interested in talking this time around.

Tyler hummed lightly, before he smiled a tinge. “I dunno, I think I’d rather get pleasant company,” he teased, laughing at the short glare he received in fake offence. 

“Well, I guess ye won’t be needing my company. I’ve got half a mind t’ just leave ye,” he huffed, taking a sip off his drink finally as Tyler chuckled. 

Tyler could also see his lips tinge up, which was a nice sight. Brian’s smile was always a good thing to see, it usually cheered him up when he needed it to. “You don’t gotta leave, your as good as company as any of the other fuckers,” he glanced towards the other side of the table, making eye contact with Evan who always knew when someone was shading him. 

They just flipped each other off and continued on with their own things. It made Brian laugh as he downed the rest of his drink and then put the glass on the table. He winced lightly, but then laughed. 

“You two are a riot,” he mumbled, patting Tyler on the shoulder. “It’s been a bit since I’ve seen Ev and ye interacting,” he added, “it’s been a while since I’ve seen either of ye alone.” He trailed off, sighing lightly before he waved down a waiter for another drink. 

Tyler frowned slightly, but he also decided not to let the negative damper their moods. “Is that you admitting you missed us?” he asked, wrapping his arm around his shoulders with a teasing smile. 

Brian huffed and regained a small smile. “Shut up,” he grumbled, but his voice was fighting back a small laugh. “Of course I missed ye,” he added, face turning a little red. “I-er- ye all, I missed all of ye.”

Tyler released Brian, excusing the stammering from the Irishman as the alcohol beginning to get to him.

The night passed and laughter was shared by everyone. Though, as it got later they slowly began to leave. Tyler had barely drank anything, still working off that beer he had gotten hours before. Brian, however, could barely stand on his own.

“Tyyyllller,” Brian sang, patting his hand against his back. “Ye- ye’ve been barely-” he paused, leaning forward and then swaying back, “Ye’ve barely had a drink!” he said.

“You’ve had too much,” Tyler countered, scooting away before he stood up. “And, I’m sure it’s about closing time- plus Anthony already paid for us and I don’t wanna waste that treat. We should head out.”

“We?” Brian chuckled, propping his head up as his elbow rested on the table. “Ye cannnn go wit’ out me,” he waved him off, grabbing the glass of Beer Tyler had left. “I’m cap-capable getting home by meself,” he lifted the glass up, but Tyler gently pushed it down to the table. 

“I’m not leaving without you,” Tyler stated. “And, you’re not drinking anymore. I’m calling your limit.” 

Brian whined, and mumbled some curses before he nodded. “Fiiiiine, whatever you say,” he said, stumbling as he threw himself out of his chair. He latched onto Tyler after mindlessly throwing his hands out to catch himself, giggling and bringing himself closer to him. “I can’t walk,” he laughed softly and leaned against him.

Tyler rolled his eyes a bit. “Not surprising,” he said, “Do you think you can make it outside? I’ll drive you home, you just gotta get to my car.”

Brian shook his head. “No,” he sung it slightly, voice rising in pitch, “Can’t walk.” He peered up at Tyler, sticking his tongue out. “Carry me?”

“You’re a pain,” Tyler said, rolling his eyes again before turned, crouching down a bit and letting Brian lean against his back, arms wrapping around his shoulders. 

Then, Tyler stood up, lifting Brian up on his back and huffing lightly. “You’re heavy,” he complained, but he began to walk. Brian hummed softly and rested his chin on Tyler’s shoulder as he began to mumble some incoherent phrases. 

On the note of Brian, Tyler wondered what would be best- meaning he didn’t know if he should take Brian home or two his house. But, the idea of having to look for wherever Brian hid his spare key was already irritating him, and basing it off of past experiences he figured it’d be best just to take him home with him.

It wouldn’t be so bad anyways, as long as Brian stayed as cute as he was. The mumbling and nuzzling into his shoulder was making Tyler melt- and he really didn’t like that fact but he supposed it could be worse. 

They got to Tyler’s car and he let Brian drop down, making sure he was placed down slow so that he wouldn’t fall. Then, Tyler opened the passenger door and made sure Brian got in correctly before he got into the drivers side. 

The care ride was quiet for the first few minutes, and Tyler honestly thought Brian had fallen asleep until he heard his name being softly sung.

“Tyyy, have ye... have ye met someone yet?” he asked.

Tyler coughed, choking on air that he sharply inhaled. “Wh-what?! What sorta question is that?” he asked, gripping the steering wheel. 

Brian shrugged and swayed his head side to side before resting it against the window. “Yer jus’a good lookin guy- figured ye’d have someone by now,” he said, “I’ve been thinkin bout it quite- quite a bit lately.” He closed his eyes for a moment, making a face.

Tyler didn’t know how to process that information, so he just shook his head. “I... don’t have anyone. Not yet,” he said. 

“Anyone in mind?”

“Like a crush?” Tyler asked, snickering at how childish that sounded. “I guess I do. I’m not talking about this while you’re drunk though, so you’re not getting anymore info out of me.”

Brian laughed and nodded. “Uh-huh, suuuure,” he teased. “I’ll get yeto tell me,” he added, in that sing-song voice, “Then I’ll make ye regret it!” 

“I already regret it,” Tyler mumled, turning them into the driveway of his house. “Anyways- we’re here. Am I gonna have to carry you back inside? he asked.

Brian nodded, making grabby hands. “Yesssir,” he laughed, “My legs are like jelly!”

Tyler got out of the car, and then walked around and helped Brian out of the car before he picked him up. It was a struggle getting inside due to Tyler having to fumble for his key, but once inside it was an easy trip upstairs and into the bedroom where Tyler dropped Brian down and then turned to leave.

“Where ye goiiinnn?” he asked.

Tyler gestured. “Just grabbing stuff for the morning. I’ll be back, just go to sleep.

So, taking his advice, Brian fell asleep without much more of a complaint.

---

The sun woke Brian up early the next morning, a complaint leaving the Irishman as his head tore itself a part. The pain made it hard to open his eyes, but he was slowly becoming more accustomed to it. He squinted around, yawning as he did. 

The room wasn’t his. That was alarming.

But, glancing to whoever was snoring next to him, he softened up. A sleeping giant laid there, peaceful and facing away from him. Tyler was so nice to bring him here.

He turned onto his side, intending to get ready to stand up and find some medicine, but it seems he was beat to it as he noticed a bottle of water and a bottle of painkillers, plus a note card with his name on it.

He smiled and made sure to take it down to help with his handover before he rolled to face Tyler’s back, shuffling around before he snuggled up to him with his face burying in his neck. He heard a grumble from the other before he gasped in surprise as Tyler rolled around, wrapping his arms around Brian.

They made eye contact and Brian felt his heart freeze.

“Hey,” Tyler said, voice leaking with sleep, and he looked about ready to return there. 

“Morning Cutie,” Brian said in return, winking lightly. “Thank ye for the hangover treatment,” he added.

Tyler nodded, passing it off as his eyes closed again. “It’s whatever,” he mumbled. “I jus’ thought you’d need it. You were wasted,” he chuckled before nuzzling his head into the pillow.

“I didn’t do anything too stupid?” Brian asked, a little flustered by the contact as it was now starting to catch up to him that they were cuddling. 

Tyler hummed. “Nah, you were just a big baby. Made me carry you n stuff,” he smiled a bit. “You also admitted to thinking about me a lot,” he added, an eye peaking open. 

“I- I what?” Brian asked, blinking in surprise as his face turned red. 

“You admitted to thinking about me. A lot,” he glanced off. “And you pried me about my love life,” he added.

“No- no. You’re joking- I didn’t do that,” Brian chuckled but stopped when Tyler didn’t laugh.

“I’m being serious,” he said, voice calm. “And, I told you I have someone in mind.”

Brian swallowed as he heard that. “Oh... You do?” he didn’t hide his disappointment, at least not well. “I- I uhm,” he moved to unwrap himself from Tyler, but instead he was squeezed closer. “... Wh-whore... who is it?”

Tyler smiled softly, closing his eyes again. “You, dumbass.” 

Brian swore to never drink again, but he also began to address this moment as his favorite whenever he recalled it. So maybe he’d never drink again, but sometimes he didn’t regret the memories drinking brought. 

#I AM WILDCAT #terroriser #terrorcat #wildriser #bbs #bbs au #banana bus crew #banana bus squad

[smolbeandrabbles]

Houston, We Got A Problem - Modern!Payne x Reader (Slow West)

@mandy23b​ @wltz-bby​ @happyskywhale​ #MendoTagSquad

Author’s Note: Right. Basically. I was inspired to do this due to pic I saw. And then I had to find a song and a plot that could make this modern and it all kinda worked out-! About 3 or so months after I originally went “this thing will get written-!”  (And then I started in in April and didn’t finish it until August!)

Anyway - I think if I have a checklist of things I can weave in here I got nearly all of them..! 😉😉😉

Disclaimer: AU, obviously / I think he’s as close to in-character as I could have got him but also understand he’s a little OOC (but had to for the context, I guess!) / Slow West & all associated characters not mine / my usual disclaimers-!

Premise: Offered a once in a lifetime opportunity in Houston, Texas - Payne is torn up about leaving you in Colorado. You know it’s a dream he’s been chasing, but you aren’t about to let him leave without reminding him what he has to return to...

Words: 4722

Warnings: AU / Swearing / Drinking / Sexual Connotations / Slight OOC-ness, maybe? He’s a little softer I think than he aught to be but I’ll let you all decide this for yourself-!

________

This is my kinda town, this is my kinda place I wouldn't mind hangin' 'round For more than just a couple days I got a twelfth floor room with a killer view of the empty Astrodome A tab at the bar downstairs, but all I can think about is home

You should've seen 19th Street, you should've seen the midnight rodeo The way them saloon doors swing, when they line dance to "Copperhead Road" Something ‘bout the air down here, that'll make you feel the way all them cowboys do I wish I was an outlaw, But all I can think about is you I got new boots covered in red dirt A "Don't Mess With Texas" T-shirt And a Lonestar postcard postmarked with missin' you It's got the biggest sky you've ever seen, the coldest beer you'd ever drink But I still feel like I landed on the moon 'Cause it ain't got you Houston, we got a problem

---

Undisclosed Location, Colorado

 You could see the truck before you could hear it; stirring up clouds of dust from the dirt roads leading down to the ranch. You were standing out on the front porch, not eager to get caught up in the hot mid-afternoon Colorado sunshine. You were watching Payne, Silas and Marimacho down in the corral with the horses; but that dust made your eyes raise to the horizon. You weren’t due any visitors, and everyone meant to be working here was already in situ. You knew that ad hoc visits sometimes happened; but usually they would call ahead. Cell reception wasn’t great out here, but the landlines worked just fine.

For now the guys were taking a well-earned cigarette break, keeping their sharp eyes on the horse they were training. When the truck was more visible; sun glancing off the paintwork and the hum of the engine filled the quiet air, Payne hopped up to straddle the fence for a closer look. There were no logos to indicate what it might be for, and he was sure that you would have told him if anyone was expected, or had called. He took a drag of his cigarette and squinted at it suspiciously as it continued to wind its way towards the house - you were already outside and could deal with it for now, but he had to admit he was curious. Silas and María joined him on the fencing; equally suspicious. “What’s up there?” Payne raised an eyebrow “Hope it’s good whatever it is...” He watched you point him out.  “Guess they’re looking for you, Payne.” “Ah shit, well, I’ll report back..! You two got this one, right?” Maria scoffed “Course we do-!” “If we don’t you’re not doing your job well.” Payne shoved Silas at that, who laughed, and jumpped down, putting out his cigarette he wandered over to you.

You stepped out to the front of the porch to greet them. Both men whose clothes and build said they were probably also in this profession. So they weren’t lost. Trainers or buyers? That was the question. “Good afternoon, m’am-!” They both sidled up to the porch, tipping their hats - ah-! The old-fashioned kind. “Afternoon gentleman. What can we help you with?” “We’re looking for a man by the name of Payne? Heard he’s the best in the business and that this is his ranch.” That irked you just a little, this was your ranch and your parents before you. And it had collectively become “yours” over time. True he had the reputation, and he’d built it into what it was... but it was not Payne’s. He used to work for your father; Payne had a gift for breaking and training horses, and had put this place on the map beyond your father’s wildest dreams. You weren’t about to argue that point now, instead you gave a small smile and pointed back to where they’d just driven from. “The man you’re looking for is out there working, gentleman...” Although he was watching you, the other two now at his side, and as soon as you indicated to him, Payne cleared the fence and began wandering over. “Oh-! Thank you m’am!” They both turned, not giving you the opportunity to ask what this was about. But you knew Payne; he wouldn’t have them speak without you in the know.

  By the time he reached the truck, the men had already started towards him; “Gentlemen-!” “Ah! You must be Payne!” “Correct,” He nodded to you, “I see you’ve already met my partner in crime, Ms.Y/N.” You mouthed him a ‘thank you’ - at least he always made sure you were recognised. Payne gave you a wink, before turning back to them; “What can we help you with?” “We hear you are the man to come to - for Horse Whispering, or for breaking horses.” Payne folded him arms across his chest and tipped his head, “That’s kind of you to say, suppose the proof can only be in the success - you need horses breaking, or otherwise?” “Yes. We have the horses, but we wanted someone with your expertise for this particular job.” Payne nodded; “Whereabouts are you from?” “Houston, Texas.” Both of you suddenly froze in place. That was Midnight Rodeo territory. There was a lot that could be done in Texas to do with horses. Payne wasn’t beyond being a full-on cowboy at times, if the need called for it. He swallowed hard, “Well, then maybe we should take this inside... that’s... quite a way to come for just me.” They looked to each other, then back to him with massive grins, “Well, Payne, you ain’t just anyone - you’re the best of the best. And hopefully we can have a good discussion. We haven’t looked at anyone else; you’re the man we wanna hire.” Your eyebrows shot up at that - this wasn’t an opportunity your man would want to miss, you knew that.  Payne turned back to his friends to whistle that he’d be a while, and then ushered the men inside - this was likely to be a long discussion; but an exciting prospect at that.

 ***

 By the time they left the sun was low in the sky, and Silas and Marimacho had already packed up ready for the morning – leaving the horses out to graze. You were both sitting on the front porch watching them and discussing the offer, his head in your lap. “It’s a good job, it’s a big job. But you’re gonna be here alone.” You smiled, he was right – it would be unprecedented for Payne to get something good going on in Texas, especially with such draws at the Midnight Rodeo, and to bolster his reputation and his name; yes, you’ve heard of him – now here’s the proof that what they say is true. You certainly weren’t about to let him pass that up, even if it would mean being here alone for a few weeks. You knew he wouldn’t want to go alone; he’d need the whole team – after all Payne always said it was a team effort. You ran your hand through his tangle of curls; “Baby, don’t worry about me, you should do this thing. It’s gonna be real good for you.” He sighed, folding his arms; “I dunno, Y/N… I just…” “You can leave me alone, I’ll be fine.” His eyes met yours and doubt was written all over his face. Payne had a point it wasn’t usual for you to be apart, and you’d suggest going with him but you’d be needed to hold the fort here – and he’d only trust you to do that. “Well, yeah, I’ll miss you. Of course I will, but…” You bent your body over his, “you need this, and you want it. And I won’t let you say no because of me.” and kissed him gently. “But there’s so many other factors-!” Payne looked back to the horses again – “I mean, you by yourself out here? What if you need help-!? I mean, do I leave someone with you here or-!?” “Shhhh…” You rubbed his shoulder affectionately, “Stop thinking so much and make a gut decision.” He scoffed, “If I even knew what that was.” You shook your head and kissed his cheek gently, shifting him off your lap; “Well – maybe it’d be better for you to have an inner dialogue…” He sat back on his hands as you stood, brushing yourself down, “I’m gonna make dinner-!” Payne replaced his hat and raised an eyebrow, reaching out to take your hand “What would you do, if they wanted you?” “I mean I doubt they ever would, I’m hardly the same calibre,” His fingertips danced over your skin, causing you to smile more, “but I would go. If it’s what I wanted.” “And you wouldn’t feel guilty?” You sighed, “I hope you don’t think I would guilt you about it anyway.” You bent to kiss him again, “No. I wouldn’t.” You swept back to the front door, “And don’t you dare try to guilt trip yourself out of it!” He laughed, “I still gotta decide if I wanna go-!” But you knew, deep down, his decision was already made. Dinner was eaten in relative silence, mostly because you felt every time you opened your mouth he might think a little too much on staying for you – you hated to think that a man who wasn’t really one to be tied to any one place, would skip out on Texas for you. Payne had never been homebody and he’d left you here before – you supposed it was the longevity of it. And perhaps how far away he would be. He helped you clear the table before leaving you with a kiss on the cheek and heading outside again. You sighed gently, watching him go. You were worried; how could you not be? But his fretting over this was for nothing; after all it wouldn’t be forever, Payne would still return to you. And if he needed you to make that decision for him, then you certainly would. You gave him another hour or so alone whilst you set out everything that needed to be done the following day, and chalked up everyone’s schedule. After which you got the house in order for the evening, and, thinking that he’d now had enough time to think, joined Payne back on the porch. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes; he was lying back again, one arm behind his head, smoking a cigar. The glass and bottle next to him filled with a suspicious looking green liquid that you knew he shouldn’t be trusted with. ‘If it’s bad enough for Absinthe, I guess it really IS bad.’ You strolled over, shaking your head slowly; “Boy. Don’t make me decide for you!” He was silent for a moment, blowing smoke into the late evening air; “Wish you could.” You leant against the porch frame, one hand on your hip; “I’ll help you get ready…” Your eyes flicked to him; “I’ve been alone before. I mean I love ya, but I think I can survive.” He shot you a look, “I just don’t think sitting out here with absinthe is really gonna help you think with any clarity!” You grinned, “I have a solution, though.” He sat up again, taking another drag, “Oh yeah?” You gave him a smirk, “Yeah… But you’re gonna have to promise me you’re going to go.” “I could just as easily go back on it.” His head tipped, daring you to do something about that proposal. “Well,” You sauntered around him, dragging your fingertips across his shoulders, “if you don’t want me…” He let out a soft groan, “You know I’ll do it.” “You shouldn’t do it because I think you should either…” You paused, picking up the glass and finishing it for him. Regretting it about 5 seconds later and shuddering; you’d nearly always hated the taste – especially neat. “You should do it because it’s all you’ve ever talked about. Because you dream about it. All I’m trying to encourage you to do is chase your dreams.” Payne tipped his head back, blue eyes searching yours; “You’re still gonna be here right?” “You think I’d leave you? I think you’re much more likely to find someone new in Texas.” He growled, “Are you fucking kidding me-!?” “Just checking!” Though the grin on your face was teasing. He stubbed out the cigar and rolled over onto his front, eyes narrowed; “Is that what you think of me?” You took a step back, with a smirk; “Why don’t you prove to me you won’t?” Payne jumped to his feet and pretty soon had you backed against the front door, hands in your hair and lips on yours; “How dare you suggest such a thing-!?” You simply smiled; “I just wanted to check there was someone to wait for, and tell me all about what happened when he lived his dream…” He shook his head, bringing your lips to his again, before moving his hands to the hem of your shirt; “Well – Let me just prove to you, that there’s something worth waiting for.” ***

Houston, Texas

Payne hated to admit how much this was hurting him. He was living it here in Houston, this was the ‘I made it!’ dream.

He’d been here almost a month now, and the entire crew has flown down with him. He was supposed to be having the time of his life, and he was having the time of his life. These were some of the most gorgeous horses he’d ever been given the opportunity to work with and break. And watching them go from fairly wild to seeing them get calmer, and some of them eventually in the rodeos themselves or out working, was breath-taking, and everyone was impressed. Especially the gentlemen who had hired him. He was getting a lot of exposure; his whole crew were. This felt a lot more like play than work, and Payne didn’t think he’d ever seen them all so happy.

But all he could think about was home; all he could think about was you. Even when he was run off his feet, you were still in the back of his head. He called you every day, and if you didn’t pick up then he’d leave a message - but no matter if he got through to you or not, Payne always ended with “I miss you.” Because he did - and he and you had travelled before, it wasn’t like you weren’t used to this but it felt bigger, it felt longer... it was longer. And there wasn’t a real end in sight. But Payne knew he wanted to go home; even realising his dream wouldn’t stop that feeling - he was a Colorado boy, and the ranch and you would always be home.

Payne knew what was coming, from the way everyone was so delighted at his team’s progress, he knew that they would offer him a job. It was always in the air but never said; it was going to be asked as soon as he was on the brink of leaving, Payne knew. It would be him, and he would say no ‘not without the crew’ then it would be all of them asked, and he would still say ‘no, not without her’, and then they would say it would be fine to move everyone’s families too. But you’d refuse; it was a ranch handed down through generations - back to when the West was first being settled. When outlaws and bounty hunters ruled the land. You weren’t leaving - you’d probably rather leave him than you would that house. And Payne had spent way too long crushing on you, then wooing you, and now being with you to let that happen.

This might be his dream but he was comfortable with you. And all Payne had ever wanted was to be comfortable.

 Tonight was another night at the midnight rodeo, but for the first time since he’d arrived here Payne was skipping out. His phone had vibrated a couple of times when he knew it was due to start but they’d left him alone since then. Instead he was sitting at the desk in his hotel room, looking out over the city. There was a glass of whiskey sitting next to him (absinthe wouldn’t have tasted the same away from home either and it wasn’t exactly a wide spread sold alcohol), yet Payne was a little too absorbed in what he was doing to pay real attention to that either. Calling you was all well and good, but Payne didn’t have a fantastically verbal love language. He didn’t think of things to say in the moment that could express his feelings to you adequately; but he could write it. He could ponder what words sounded right, he could change them all around and make sure that it all flowed. Everything that he somehow couldn’t say out loud, Payne was at least glad that you could read it. It might only have been a postcard, not a real love letter, but it would have to do for now. He could still say everything that he wanted to; and Payne would still end those letters in the same way as he did his calls:

‘I miss you.’

 **

You knew what it was as soon as you opened the mailbox, and dropped everything else inside before sitting up on the paddock fence, yours and his horse grazing in the field behind you, you sat and read. You inhaled - knowing that he would have sprayed it with his cologne, in the same way when on occasion you wrote to him you would cover your notes in perfume - and for a second it felt like he was here, with his arms around you.

At first you were smiling; he was such a sweetheart in the way that he wrote. You knew Payne wasn’t good with words, romantic words, but this was always where he told you he loved you. Letters happened even when he was home, you’d find them all over the house and they would always make you beam; you kept them in a little box and sometimes you’d sit and read them back. It always amazed you how what he wrote may have been different the longer you were together but, what he said stayed the same. He still loved you the same, and you loved him just as much. So soon enough, as you continued to read his postcard, you weren’t just smiling, your heart began to ache and tears threatened to spill. You sniffed and rubbed your eyes, not allowing any to fall, as you did so his horse nudged against your arm and you patted his muzzle with a half-laugh-half-upset exhale; “I know... I know... I miss him too.”

 Payne knew the question was coming. You were going to ask it eventually. You knew he had to work but sometimes too long was too long. And you knew what this meant to him, and that you’d persuaded him to chase it across the country, but you missed him. There was no end date: it wasn’t like he’d be back at the end of the month; the truth was he didn’t know when it would be over. “When are you coming home?” He didn’t want to tell you he didn’t know, but he didn’t. Payne could hear it in your voice though, that you couldn’t take much more uncertainty. And neither could he; it wasn’t about wanting to go home anymore, but needing to. “Baby, I... you know what they’re going to say, they’re gonna wanna keep me on.” “Well they can’t have you.” Your answer was curt. He chuckled “Feisty. I wasn’t gonna leave, I know where my place is.” Your voice was amused though, “Damn right-!” “As you know good work is never done when horses go in and out all the time. I guess the specific group I’ve been working with are nearly fully trained. So, I’ll be home soon. I promise you that, I’m comin’ home-!” “Don’t make me hold you to that-!” He grinned “Ha-! Oh, I won’t-!”  

**

It was a harder conversation than he’d expected. But Payne wasn’t one for giving up, nor negotiating when he wanted something. He very much had a ‘my way or the highway’ attitude, and he wasn’t about to be forced into staying when his work was over. The money he was offered was good – brilliant even – he couldn’t deny that. Yet, Payne knew where home was, and it wasn’t here – even with how much he was loving his time here. He kept firm, and made sure they knew he wasn’t about to be pushed around. The one thing Payne worried about was his reputation; after all he didn’t want this relationship to turn sour. Once he’d left they could use anything to turn the rumour mill: ‘aw, the boy couldn’t hack it.’ That just wasn’t true. But Payne didn’t really trust anyone outside his friends and you; and was always that little bit suspicious. You’d always called it out as an odd trait; especially as he seemed pretty open and friendly towards most people. ‘How else am I supposed to get business and get paid, Y/N!?’ ‘AHHH! So it is for your own ends!?’ Yeah, you probably had it right, but he wasn’t admitting that. Though there was always a reason he kept a decent revolver around. What he did promise was that he could come back periodically for a few days, maybe a few weeks, and continue to work for them. But Payne wouldn’t be contracted here, and he explained as such – he’d built up his, and the ranches, name in Colorado and there he would stay. He had a lot waiting back home – and this would never be home. Even if he could miraculously get you to agree to move. Not that he gave them much of a choice, but they saw the logic in his decision and accepted his offer. He’d really have to talk it out with you first; but Payne was sure you’d not mind too much. Weren’t you always calling him a drifter anyway? The ranch was just a home base. That suggestive way you’d look at him, voice sultry to match your blink and say; “If the sex wasn’t so good you probably wouldn’t even stay, huh, babe?” Payne shook away that thought with a deep exhale, you weren’t the only thing he was missing right now. By the time he got back to his crew from the final meeting and tidy up, they were all already packed away. Everyone had the same notion, they were ready to go, ready to get back to families of their own. Still, Payne knew how much they had loved it here; and far be it from him to hold any of them back. “Before we do all get on a flight tomorrow morning back home, I do wanna say to you how proud I am of how hard you’ve worked. We’ve always been like a little gang of outlaws, and hell if we haven’t shown these Texas rangers a thing or two!” There were plenty of laughs and cheers at that, and Payne grinned, “But, I’m going to give you the choice, and no hard feelings. You can stay if you wanna stay, if you think this is better for you…” He turned to take in his surroundings, “I’m not gonna stop ya.” There was silence amongst them for a minute, and as Payne’s eyes settled back on them he had a horrible feeling they were all about to walk away. Skelly was the first one to scoff; “Payne, ya gotta be kiddin’ man! We ain’t leavin’!” Silas joined in immediately; “Hell yeah, you’re a good man and a good boss and we’re sticking with you the whole way! Fuck these guys, it’s all or nothing with us-! Hell, you’re the one that damn near had us make a pact.” Payne chuckled at that; “Yeah, we were kids back then Silas.” “Well, it still means a lot to us!” Marimacho folded her arms with a smile; “You stick by us and our families. If we ever need anything you and Y/N are there, and if there’s ever something troubling us you’re lenient and understanding. Side note too, but your gal is awesome… We’d miss her too much! No-one gets left behind Payne, you’ve always been about that.” “Here, here!” Kid and Gull followed suit on the other three. He blinked a couple of times, humbled – glad that they wouldn’t turn their backs on something good. Still, he smirked, Payne could count on their loyalty – they were a motley crew for sure, but all great friends. He was glad they’d still take some stupid lines said as teenagers so seriously. He nodded, looking at each of them in turn; “You’re right. No-one gets left behind.” His smirk turned back to a small smile; “So, lets get back to the ones who are waiting for us.” *** He had called you the evening before to say he was leaving. You thought it seemed very sudden, but you supposed Payne would rather make sure, and head home than promise you something and find out he couldn’t keep it. He’d also let you know they were getting on the plane, and now you knew he was on his way back you couldn’t have been more excited. So, as soon as you heard his truck, you couldn’t help grinning. It was an all too familiar sound; and not just to you. Seemingly every horse in the stables knew too; his and yours racing to the top end of the paddock, and the dogs were also in chorus. You chuckled to yourself; “Daddy’s home.” Washing and wiping your hands quickly on a towel from where you’d been working, you ran to the door as you heard his truck pull up. By the time you’d opened it and run onto the porch, he’d already leapt from the vehicle and was walking over. Payne stood at the bottom step, presenting himself, grinning at he looked up at you; “Honey, I’m home!” You shook your head at him but, too overcome with joy to care about him being cheesy, you leapt off the porch and into his arms. “God, I missed you so much… I missed you so, so much!!” You cried blissfully as he held you tight to his chest. Payne understood that notion all too well; he’d spend the entire flight thinking about how he couldn’t wait to hold and kiss you again. And now here he was, and you were in his embrace; “I know…” He kissed your hair, before you shifted to capture his lips, arms tangling around his neck. It was a hard kiss, and long, very nearly taking both your breaths away. You smiled, stealing another, “You’ll have to tell me everything.” “Didn’t I already?” He smirked, not letting you leave his lips – oh, you knew exactly how the rest of this day was gonna go. “Uhm, I think I said when you came back, you had to tell me all about how you lived your dreams!” “Ahhh… You won’t even give me 2 seconds to say hello to my lady?” “I think you made your intentions for your lady perfectly clear…” You grazed your lips to his once again, “I may say she has done the same.” You tipped your head, with a raised eyebrow, “Mayhaps she has, but who are you gonna listen to first – the kids are whining.” You didn’t need to point that out, he could already hear that the animals were glad he was back. He pulled you in closer, voice lowering, “The kids can hush, mom and dad are talking…” smirking whilst kissing you again, “How well can they have been looked after, if they’re cryin’ for me?” “Of excitement, actually. They just missed you as much me!” “Uh huh, how about my coat, you look after that?” You laughed, “No-one is wearing a coat like that in this weather.” He made a face, “Okay, ‘cept you. Crazy man.” “Ha!” This time it was Payne laughing hard, and his hands ran down your body. You smirked running your hands from behind his neck across his broad shoulders to study his shirt, before chuckling. Emblazoned on the front were six photographs of form fitting jeans, with the caption ‘A Cowboys Best Assets’. The shirt itself hugged close to his chest and left your partner easy on the eye; not that he wasn’t already, of course. “Well, damn. That shirt’s not wrong… I like it.” Besides he was wearing a pair of those jeans himself right now. “Oh really? Thought you might.” “Mhm…” You tangled your fingers in it, and pulled him into yet another kiss. “But I’d like it and your best assets on the floor of our bedroom right now.” You removed his hat from his head and placed it on your own, with a wink. He didn’t need telling twice, hoisting you from the floor as you wound your legs around his waist; “Oh, yes m’am.” Payne took the porch steps quickly, and didn’t stop until he had you tangled in bedsheets.

---

is this from a Tumblr post? I feel like it is... Might need to find it out there and credit back

Thank you for reading my lovelies! 😘😘😘  You know I love this enough to continue it, right? 😉

#Payne #Payne x Reader #Slow West #Ben Mendelsohn #Modern!AU #Modern!Payne #this is a little cuter than I normally write him #but I still like it #I need to write /him/ more too. #2020 should be the year of the more /neglected/ Mendos #cuz honestly they deserve it as much as the popular bois #Elera #Same relationship different context #I would like to confirm with April 2020 me that 2020 is INDEED the year of neglected less popular Mendos #and sitting here on August 1st I've pretty much written every boi something now! There can't be many now i haven't written a single word for #I sit here on 5th of September and concur with my above written tag. It's STILL Fraser I haven't written for though! #Hell. 1st of August me hadn't even seen Henry yet and he's made it! #173

[xx-sikki-nixx-xx]

NSFW A-Z  Duff Mckagan

Requested by many MANY horny anons 

Aftercare(what they’re like after sex)

Duff is a fucking kiss machine after sex, like I mean after you two have come down from your highs and caught your breath he will pull you into his chest, put his face in your neck and kiss all over your neck, ears, jawline and face while you run your hands through his fluffy blonde hair in pure ecstasy.

Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and their partners)

Duff’s favourite body part on you and him is the same… legs. He loves his legs because he takes pride in his height (fucking giraffe man) and he loves your legs because he thinks they’re super sexy, no matter how long or short they are he thinks they are absolutely perfect and loves to run his hands and lips up and down them. 

 Cum (anything to do with cum…basically I’m a disgusting person)

I’m gonna be blunt here… Duff likes to cum on your tits (just sayin) and he’ll usually finish there as long as you let him, and because he’s a gentleman he will always get you a cloth or something to clean you up afterwards because he’s considerate like that.

Dirty secret  (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Duff loves it when you pull his hair, when you two are going at it and you run your fingers through his locks and tug lightly on the blonde strands he lets out the most animalistic groan you’ve ever heard and his eyes roll back in his head in pure bliss at the feeling, he can’t explain why he likes it so much but he just can’t help himself. 

Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) 

Do I even need to answer this? It’s Duff fucking Mckagan we’re talking about here he’s almost as experienced as Axl (of course the singer gets the most action) he knows all the tricks and techniques to make you moan his name and will employ them whenever he feels it necessary. 

Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

Duff likes to fuck you on your back with your legs over his shoulders so he can get the best angles while still having full access to your legs because he loves them so much. 

 Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Duff’s middle name is goofball so yea he’s not serious during sex… I mean how could he be? He’s never been serious in his entire life, he’s always flashing his signature smile at you and mimicking your moans on occasion, you always slap his arm when he does that and he just fake moans louder (he’s a prick but you love him). 

 Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc)

Duff’s hair is pretty wild like the hair on his head, but it’s not a mess or anything because his body hair is pretty light, there’s like a thin layer of blonde hair covering areas of his body like his legs and arms (and down there) but his chest is pretty much bare. 

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Duff shows his romantic side by kissing you all over, like his lips are permanently attached to your body because he loves the feeling of your skin on his mouth and how you react when he places kisses all over your body teasing you during foreplay. 

 Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Duff has an unnaturally high sex drive tbh, you wouldn’t think it when you look at him but he’s incredibly horny 99% of the time so when you aren’t around to help he’ll masturbate but it’s an absolute last resort when there’s no chance of any other relief and he always feels guilty afterwards and tells you what he did as if he cheated and you always giggle at him and kiss his cheek telling him that you don’t care and that it’s ok that he sometimes has needs he needs to resolve. 

Kink (One or more of their kinks)

As previously mentioned Duff has a kink for your legs, kissing you and hair pulling but Duff also loves giving you hickeys… and I mean EVERYWHERE, he’ll mark you all over with bruises made with his mouth because he’s a very protective and possessive lover and wants everyone (especially his band mates) to know that you are his and they better not try shit because he’ll break their nose. 

Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere, if he gets horny and needs you he doesn’t care where you are, he’ll rip your clothes off in a damn interview if he needs to because nothing and no one gets in the was of Duff Mckagan getting what he wants. 

 Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When you wear shorts because he gets a perfect view of your legs, even if you rarely ever do it be sure that the shorts won’t be staying on for very long because he’ll rip them off of you in an instant, he also goes wild when you lean over and kiss his neck while playing with his hair, he loves the sensation of your soft lips on his cool skin in combination with your delicate fingers playing with his messy locks makes him crazy.

 NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

Duff will absolutely never be submissive, it’s not his thing because he’s the big dominant bass player and he likes to keep that image in the bedroom so when you two are going at it expect to be the sub because he is after all Duff “dom” Mckagan (I bet $100 someone has called him that at least once).

Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

 This man will lick you like a lollipop without hesitation, he fucking loves it when you sit on his face, he’ll place his hands on your hips while you ride his mouth and feel your hips shake uncontrollably as you finish, he also loves eating you out while you lay down because he can kiss up your legs and thighs and make eye contact with you as you come undone on his face. As for when it comes to him receiving this man fucking loves it, his pre show ritual is getting a blowjob from you before he goes on stage because he is convinced it focuses his mind and blocks out all of the other shit going on in his head so he can focus on playing bass. 

Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

It really depends on the mood, if he has got an inconvenient boner and needs to get rid of it quickly you two will have a quick fuck and get on with whatever you were doing beforehand but when you two are having proper sex together he’s slow and sensual like in all of those romantic movies.

Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Duff prefers proper sex because he wants you to enjoy the experience as much as he does but he accepts that sometimes quickies are the only option so you two will have quick fucks on occasion but if given the opportunity he will always choose proper sex. 

Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

This man is like the god of risk, I’m not kidding he gives people like Axl Rose and Nikki Sixx a run for their money when it comes to risk, he’ll try anything once if you wanna try it and he also has a list of things that he wants to try but of course because he’s a gentleman he won’t try the things on his list unless you want to.

 Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

This boy can go all night if he really wants to, round after round non stop like a fucking sex machine (oh my god is that what Freddie meant in don’t stop me now?) he gets past his finish so quickly that by the time your breathing has returned to normal he’s already hard again and ready to go for another round. 

 Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

This kinky fucker has handcuffs (and like the strong reinforced kind so that they don’t break) and a special silk tie he only wears on special occasions to cover your eyes with and a gag because he’s a slut like that and he loves to use them on you when vanilla sex gets a bit played out (I mean you two do it so often you gotta spice it up sometimes).

Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Biggest tease known to earth, but it’s not like you don’t deserve it with how much you tease him, it’s like a mutual teasing, seeing who caves first, like a competition… he usually caves first and ends up fucking you up against a wall to get all of his frustrations out. 

Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Duff Mckagan has the sexiest deep throaty moans you will ever hear in your entire life, it’s like music, or poetry, he throws his head back, his eyes close and a deep moan will erupt from his chest making you moan in response like a wolf calling to its mate.

Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

When you and Duff I can guarantee that 90% of the time KISS songs will be playing in the background, I can’t explain why but Duff has a thing about sex and KISS (maybe he wants to fuck Paul Stanley I dunno but like who can blame him) his favourite ones to play are “Heavens on fire” “Lets put the X in sex” and “You make me rock hard”.

 X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Solid 8.5 inches on the tall blonde bass player, and he’s proud of it ;).

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?

We’ve already established he’s like a dog in heat, constantly at least a little horny and to be honest you love that about him because whenever you’re horny he’s ready to go.

ZZZ (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He drifts off slowly after sex, he doesn’t pass out straight away but he will cuddle you close to him inhaling your scent and close his eyes falling into a beautiful deep sleep.

#guns n roses #duff mckagan #axl rose #slash #saul hudson #izzy stradlin #steven adler #guns n roses imagine #guns n roses imagines #guns n roses smut #guns n roses fluff #guns n roses angst #guns n roses x reader #duff mckagan imagine #duff mckagan imagines #duff mckagan smut #duff mckagan fluff #duff mckagan angst #duff mckagan x reader #duff imagine #duff imagines #duff smut #duff fluff #duff angst #duff x reader #80's #rock n roll

[themoonstarwarrior]

PLAYLIST SHUFFLE TAG!

Okay, so @viterbofangirl tagged me in this and I need to start learning to post my own shit, so what the hell, why not?

Rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to! put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 15 songs, then tag 10 people. no skipping!

(I couldn’t stop at 10 so I added 5 more, sue me)

I have very random music taste and I listen to my music on shuffle alot, so I made a playlist of the ones I like the most (that way I don’t hafta skip 150 songs to get to the one I feel like) so I’m gonna use that one.

1) History of Violence - Theory of a Deadman

Hoo boy starting off light huh?.... Yeah so, I was in the drive thru at Sonic when I first heard this on the radio and was immediately like “holy shit”. Instead of like metaphors and poetic subtlety, it’s just straight up like “here’s a poor abused woman who resorted to murdering her shitty boyfriend/husband cuz she couldn’t take it dum dum dum”. Even though the actual situation is not the same, this song is perfect for getting across the internal issues and turmoil of my character Mikey. Its so perfect I’m even planning to animate something for it...... if I ever get around to learning animation that is.....     

2) The Vengeful One - Disturbed

Two songs in and I look kinda emo.... But hey this song is soooooo cathartic! I love me a good heavy rock song, and the drums and electric guitar are perfect for my ears to absorb. This song gives off a feeling of overwhelming power mixed with a coldness and disdain for the bad in the world. Obviously, thats not my usual temperment, but its an interesting one to explore! Especially when I’m trying to get into the head of characters that exude that like my OCs Spark or Ryu. Plus its fun to sing in the car X)

3) Enter Sandman - Metallica

Okay this one is just a classic! Same thing with the drums and guitar they both slap SOOOOO GOOD. I don’t really associate this song with any of my characters or fandom favorites, but it DOES give me a super strong urge to learn the drums. EXXXXXXXXIT LIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! OFF TO NEVER NEVERLAND!!

4) We Are Giants - Lindsey Stirling ft. Dia Frampton

I don’t really to listen to music by band or artist, but I LOVE Lindsey Stirling!!! She’s probably my favorite musician! This is such a good song, especially for someone like me. Its a positive song that talks about feeling alone in a crowd and unimportant to the world, but how you really do matter and shouldn’t be afraid to dream big and shoot for the stars. It really speaks to me and the vocalization is so good (especially for singing), not to mention the official music video is animated and AMAZING!

5) Cetus - Lensko NCS

I dunno if anyone knows this song, but damn its good. Its one of those Royalty-Free songs that people look up for their channels, which is how I found it in the first place, but I loved it immediately. Its a peppy 8-bit electronic bop that turns a little Irish jig at the end and honestly I think if I ever start an animation channel I’m totally gonna use it! (Also go support Lensko he make good beats!)

6) Sanctuary - Utada Hikaru

I did not grow up with Kingdom Hearts, and only played KH2 within the past year n’ a half. But good God, the moment that Cinematic Opening came on and this song started playing I swear I astral projected into a daze of feelings without names. I know that “Simple and Clean” is the quintessential Kingdom Heart song that gives everyone feelings, but IMHO Sanctuary blows it out of the water. As beautiful as the animation was, or how curious the occasional backwards lyrics are, or how weird it is having high-res Goofy and Donald in what is essentially an anime opening, I really can’t be distracted from this song when I play.

7) Chemical Plant Zone (Rock Remix) - Zerobadniks

Chemical Plant Song is like, one of the TOP Sonic songs by popular vote (and we know how awesome the Sonic series is musically so thats saying something!), but I could never quite vibe with the normal 8-bit version. I think I first heard this as someone’s ringtone and was immediately like “THATS PERFECT THATS EXACTLY HOW I NEED IT!”. The rock makes the song soooo much better and honestly gives the song the perfect vibe. Unfortunately, it took FOREVER to find cuz none of the Rock Covers of this song were the right one. In fact, tbh, I’m not even sure whether Zerobadniks is the correct artist..... that’s just who everybody was crediting when I found it. 

(imma include the link i found since its a little hard to find: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fqJiZEM6aPI )

8) The Wolf - SIAMES

YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEOS???? THIS IS A GOD-TIER ANIMATED MUSIC VIDEO. I found the video first, and seriously, if you haven’t seen it YOU NEED TO!!! The beat works perfectly with the images on screen and the story being portrayed is really intriguing, with the lyrics adding to atmosphere without necessarily describing the visuals shown. Even without the animation, the song itself is a banger. It bring to mind the feeling of intense motion forward, but unable to decide whether its movement TOWARD something or AWAY from something. I love listening to this on a nighttime drive.

9) Burn the House Down - AJR

If you ask me, the best way to make a pop song better is to add either violins or trumpets. For this song, it was definitely the trumpets that first caught my attention, and the rest of the song kept me listening. I don’t really know how to describe the vibe of this song, and I don’t have a specific character or story in mind when I listen to it, so its a little hard for me to talk about it. I think the best way I can describe this song and what draws me to it is a feeling of nonchalant go-with-the-flow attitude to shenaniganry. Almost an undertone of “We’re hooligans in a situation that we probably should get out of, but hey we’ve got life and each other so why worry?” At least that’s the closest I can get to a verbal description heh...

10) Slim Pickens Does the Right Thing and Rides the Bomb to Hell - The Offspring 

DANCE, FUCKER, DANCE, LET THE MOTHERFUCKER BURN!!!

So this also has a KICKASS animated music video, but its technically combined with the song “Dividing by Zero”. Now the video works SO well with both, and the shifting artstyles reflect the differing tones of the songs PERFECTLY. However, I have a preference for both the animation and the song on the Slim Pickens half. Its fun to listen to and sing at the top of your lungs and its SO CATHARTIC. Again I cant really describe what my head does when I hear it, but I think you can probably feel a similar vibe if you watch the music video. 

11) No Heaven - DJ Champion

The first time I finished the original Borderlands, I had been playing for days on end, had just finished a long battle with the Destroyer, and sitting back relieved to have beaten it and reflecting on how much I had enjoyed the adventure. Then this song started playing. For what I believe was forty minutes this song looped on my TV while the credits rolled. By the time the credits finished I was pulling up the song to listen to again! What an absolutely PERFECT cherry to add to this experience. This song perfectly encapsulated the chaotic, trigger-happy, morally ambiguous craziness that I had enjoyed and absorbed in this game. Every time I hear it now, I imagine myself in the wastelands of Pandora, driving haphazardly across the sandy dunes as my companions and I shoot and blow up everything in sight. You know, living the dream.......     

12) Hit & Run (Wolfgang Lohr Remix) -  The Electric Swing Circus

I fucking LOVE electro-swing! The electronic beats and rhythm blend so well with the wild and energetic freedom of swing. A lot of electro-swing gives me a vibe of wild movement, reckless abandon, and freedom from constraint. I think this song melds all of these feelings the best! As the last song might have indicated, despite my general nice and sweet temperament, there is a part of me deep down that is an absolute gremlin secretly enamored with chaos, insanity, and a general disdain for law and authority X). But whereas anything Borderlands related has a more “morality is an illusion blowing shit up is real” air about it, this song is far more peppy. More of a “good-hearted but insane” type of chaos, like an 100mph car chase where you end up sailing over the train tracks JUST as the train passes.

.... I may have gotten a bit off track lol 

13) Kickstart my Heart - Motley Crue

I love this song, but I have to be VERY careful when and where I listen to this. I love songs that make me feel like I’m going a million miles per hour, like I’m gotdam Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately, I may or may not have had multiple instances of listening to this song in the car and abruptly realizing that I’m going like 15mph above the speed limit...... So yeah, regardless of absolutely perfect it feels to play this song while speeding down a nearly empty highway, please be careful and drive responsibly!!!

14) I’m Born to Run - American Authors

Imma just up and say it. This song is a Sonic song; like not like actually from the series but a song for the character. This song encapsulates Sonic as a character better than some of his ACTUAL THEMES (and remember Sonic music are bangers!). Its a song about freedom, living life as it comes, and not letting anything slow you down. Frankly I’m surprised they didn’t make this song FOR the Sonic series, or even the movie! Speaking of which, ironically I heard this song right after watching the Sonic movie in theaters, so yeah there’s no way I can associate it with anything else. 

15) Opa Opa - Antique

Oh, what a PERFECT way to end this list! This may be one of my absolute favorite songs of all time! I don’t remember exactly how I found this song... I think I had just relistened to Dalar Mehndi’s “Tunak Tunak Tun” and was looking for other catchy non-english songs and BOY HOWDY I found one! I know nothing about the band or what the song’s about (its in greek and i dont speak it), but this song is just a masterpiece of retro, pop, and dance sounds. This song feels like the musical and lyrical manifestation of dance and movement. I really REALLY wish I could dance JUST so I can express how happy and free this song makes me feel! This is the BEST song for me to end this list with!

***********************************************************************************

JESUS, this got long..... Sorry about that XD. It was fun though, and hopefully somebody was vaguely interested in my ramblings.

Guess I need to tag people now? How about @tharkflark1, @rockmilkshake, @neonbuck, @drawingsdrawingseverywhere, @birthgiverofbirds, @puccafangirl, @kalcat, @biblestudybussybopsbabey, @monstrous-milktea, and @memecage! I think there are a couple of people here I haven’t talked to though soooooo..... hi, I hope you don’t mind the tag X)

 Anyway hope you enjoyed and/or want to do this too! This took for-fucking-EVER to type, so imma go fuck off and watch youtube or something now...

#music and remixes #viterbo i was gonna add you to the bottom list and then i was like SHIT SHE TAGGED ME XD so oh well #i may or may not have cheated just a bit but shut up these are the songs i had something to say about #moonstar wont shut up

[jubilantwriter]

Jaspvid Week 2020: Day 3 - Summer

fuck it at this rate i’m just gonna be posting late never get a night shift job y’all

(AO3)   @jaspvid-week​

You Can't be Traumatized if You Don't Go to Summer Camp

Summary:  They met by an ice cream truck as children.  And since then, it’s been a tradition for them to meet up and buy ice cream together.

Word Count: 5088

Jasper loves summer.  Summer means no school, no homework, and no teachers to be bummed out by!  Since he's eleven now, he thinks that maybe his mom will let him go to the community pool more often, since he can totally swim by himself without her worrying that he'll go to the deep end and drown.  

He's too rad for that anyways!  And since summer vacation started, he's been having fun watching the Saturday morning cartoons and hanging out with his friends whenever they want to come over and play.  With the heat bringing it's A game this year though, more and more of his time is spent just lounging inside his house, trying to beat the heat with his mom's rotating fan.

In fact, here he sits, mouth wide open as he makes a long "ahhhh" sound at it, giggling as the fan messes with his voice.  Although summer isn't always about having fun and playing with his mom's fan and going swimming at the pool.  He keeps his ears perked as he waits for a special kind of song to start making its rounds around the block.

And sure enough, the musical notes of a familiar tune rings throughout the neighborhood, and Jasper is already making a mad dash to his mom for some sweet, sweet cash.

"Mom!"  He waves his hands back and forth to get her attention.  "Mom, the ice cream truck!"

His mom smiles, having already heard the tune and pulling her wallet out of her purse.  "Alright, hold on."  A few dollars bills are handed over as Jasper grabs them eagerly.

"Rad!"

"But only buy one, okay?  Dinner's coming up soon."

"Okay!"  He dashes out the door just in time to see the ice cream turn the corner onto his street.  "Hey!"  He waves his hand in the air, flagging down the ice cream truck as it continues past his house.  It slows to a stop as he chases after it when he notices another kid peek his head out.

Red hair.

Green eyes.

And the scariest frown he's seen.

He smiles as he waves at his neighbor.

"Hi, Davey!"

"Don't call me that!"  David yells as he slams his front door shut, disappearing back into his house.

"Jeepers, man."  Normally, all the other kids would feel put out by having their neighbor slam a door shut at them, but Jasper was used to it.  It was pretty rude yeah, but as long as Jasper kept his distance, David wouldn't start throwing rocks at him!  It's a good thing Jasper is a quick learner, otherwise there would have been a lot more rocks in his future.

"Hey, kid."  A man with a scraggly looking face rolls down the window.  The ice cream man!  "You wanted somethin'?"

"Sure do, mister!"  Jasper looks over the ice cream choices on the side of the truck.  There were ice cream sandwiches, drumsticks, those push pop thingies, the faces with bubblegum eyes, that frozen lemonade stuff in a cup that tastes okay he supposes, and-  "One bomb pop!  Please!"

"Sure, which flavor?"

"The one that looks like a rocket!"

"Red, white, and blue, comin' up."  Jasper waits patiently as the ice cream man disappears for a minute before reappearing with the cold treat.  "Here ya go.  One American ice cream."

"Is it really called that?"

"Nah.  That's a dollar."  Jasper hands over the dollar and grabs the frosty treat from the man as he sits on the sidewalk.  As he unwraps the popsicle, the ice cream man grunts in surprise.

"You want somethin' too?"  Jasper looks up and sees David standing not too far from him.  He's biting his lip, fists buried deep in his pockets as he glares at the ice cream on the truck.  "Gotta pay up, kid."

"...Not if I take it first!"  Jasper watches as David runs and leaps at the truck's window, grabbing onto the ledge as the ice cream man looks unimpressed.

"Nice try, kid."  He flicks off every single one of his tiny fingers, making David land on the ground with a soft "oof!".  "Maybe come back with a dollar, and I'll give ya what your bratty heart so desires."

"Whatever!"  David stands up quickly and stomps his foot.  "Ice cream is for squares anyways!"  As the ginger stomps off, Jasper wonders how many times David's tried to pull that off.  He gets up and walks back to the truck.

"Hey, mister?"

"Whatcha want, kid?"  The ice cream man eyes him from the window.  "You better eat that quick 'fore the sun melts it."  

"Oh I will!  It's just, um," he digs around in his pocket and pulls out another dollar, "can I have another one?"

The ice cream man takes it slowly, looking between Jasper and a door that slams shut yet again.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."  Technically, Jasper wasn't breaking any rules.  He grins up at the man brightly.  "Umm, can I have..."

Actually, which one WOULD he like?  It's not like Jasper knows enough about David to make a good guess.  All he knows is that David is grumpy, hates people, sasses adults, and is an overall menace to everyone around him.

But he's also seen David out in the rain, with no umbrella or raincoat to speak of, just picking worms off the sidewalk and tossing them into the grass.  He's seen David yell at bullies, aim only for the legs in dodgeball, and even sit next to a crying kid silently just so he wouldn't be alone.  

Jasper points at the vanilla bar with the hard outside.

"Can I have that one?"

"Sure, kid."  The ice cream man disappears and comes back with the wrapped treat, but he looks hesitant to give it to him.  "Are ya sure...?"

"Totally man!  My mom says that if I treat people the way I wanna be treated, I can make friends way faster like that!"

"That's one way to do it, I guess."  The ice cream man shrugs as he hands over the treat.  "Better give it to him before it melts then."

"Will do!  Thanks, mister!"

The ice cream man waves as Jasper runs to David's house, sticking his melting popsicle in his mouth as he knocks on the door.  The door creaks open slowly, a single green eye peeking out suspiciously before he spies Jasper standing on his doorstep.  Jasper pops his popsicle out and grins.

"Heya, broski!"

"Oh, it's you."  Ouch.  "What do you want?"  Jasper waves the wrapped treat in front of David.

"I did something totally wack and got an extra by accident!  And I'm only supposed to have one ice cream before dinner or else my mom will totally wig out, so I thought maybe you'd like it?"  David stares at the ice cream with a suspicious squint.

"...Why are you giving it to me?"

"Because you're the only kid I know in this neighborhood!"

"Liar."

"Okay, maybe I know a few other kids, but you were closer!"

"What's the catch?"  David glares at Jasper, holding onto his door tight.  "I take the ice cream and then what?  I gotta give you my allowance?  Beat the snot outta someone?  Be your friend because you're a weird loner?"  

Well, Jasper's not exactly a loner, but he wouldn't mind being friends with David if he'd just stop being mean for a second.

"It's just ice cream, dude.  Take it or leave it."

David swipes the bar from his hand and slams the door in Jasper's face.

"Nice!"  The ice cream man calls, laughing as Jasper walks away with a huff.

Well.

At least he took the dang thing. 

////

The ice cream truck comes again, and this time, the man grins as Jasper points at an ice cream sandwich.

"Gonna get a second one too while you're at it?"  He points to a door cracking open, and a familiar tuft of red hair peeking out.

"...I dunno, maybe."  Last time didn't work out so hot.  Maybe David just doesn't want friends.  Maybe he's the loner.

And Jasper's fine with that.  It's not like he has to be friends with David anyways.

"Who knows, kid?  Maybe he's like a stray cat.  Gotta be nice to 'im and bait 'im 'til he comes out."

"You just want my mom's money."

"Absolutely, now are you gonna buy another one or not?"

"I said I dunno."  Jasper huffs as he waits for the ice cream man to give him his sandwich.  As he takes it, he hears the door shut and he turns to find David no longer hiding by his door.

"Looks like the runt went back into hiding."  The ice cream man hums to himself as Jasper unwraps his treat and starts to munch away.  A bright look comes across the man's face as he ducks into his truck as Jasper watches curiously.  When the ice cream man resurfaces from his searching, a yellowish cup is held in his hand as he shoves it at Jasper's face.  "Here, kid."

Jasper scrunches up his face.

"I don't want it."

"Nah, kid, it's free."

"I still don't want it."

"Look, I got a whole bunch of these laying around 'cause kids don't want 'em as much as the other stuff I got.  So why not throw it at that kid's face so you're not wasting your ma's money and I'm gettin' rida stock I don't need?"

"I don't want him to hate me more than he already does!"

"Can't get any lower than rock bottom, kid."

Oh, he'd beg to differ.

But the ice cream man tosses him what was essentially frozen lemonade, but not like, the good lemonade, but the lemonade that was just pure lemon juice with some water, maybe even too much water, mixed in, and then they put it in the freezer, and then put that ice block into a blender, turned it on high, and poured the goop into a cup to be sold to children who actually knew what good lemonade tasted like.

And this was not good lemonade.

Jasper barely manages to catch it as it smacks into his chest.

"Good luck, kid!"  The ice cream man salutes him before rushing off into the driver's seat to drive away.

"But I said I didn't want it!"  Fruitlessly, he yells at the disappearing ice cream truck, groaning loudly as he clutches this awful excuse for a lemony treat.  What was he supposed to do with it?  

...

Well, he could actually give it to David.

Maybe he was into this sort of stuff.

Frozen, bad lemonade.  That was kind of like shaved ice, but not really.  The outside of the cup sweats in his hand, reminding him of the hot temperature.

Maybe he wouldn't care?  Maybe he'll take it because it's so hot out and use it as a, like, ice pack or something.

His feet are already walking him to David's door, and after cramming the ice cream sandwich in his mouth, he once again knocks on the door, but with less enthusiasm this time.  David opens the door, but he looks only a little surprised.

"What do you want, Jasper?"

Oh, he knows his name?  

"Uh, here."  His words are muffled around the sandwich, but David takes the cup regardless.

And scrunches up his face when he sees it.

"Ugh!  I don't want this!"

"Me neither!"

"It sucks!"

"I know!"

David blinks, as if registering that Jasper was actually agreeing with him.

"So why are you giving this to me?"  Jasper swallows a bite of his sandwich and shrugs.

"I dunno, maybe you can like, use it as an ice pack?"

"Pfft."  David snorts, which makes Jasper perk up a bit.  "As if.  This thing'll only last for a few minutes."  

"What are you gonna do then?"  Jasper watches as David wipes the sweat from his brow, frowning as he stares down at the cup.

And sighs dramatically.

"Guess I'll eat the dang thing."

"...You sure?"

"Well it's not like I have a choice."  Jasper expects more bite to his words, but the ginger merely says it with a tired reluctance he doesn't expect.  "Thanks, though."

"Oh uh, sure, duderino."  He expects David to slam the door in his face but the boy just... keeps it open.  "Guess I'll see you around?"

"Whatever."  David shrugs as he pops the lid open.  "See ya."  

He walks away from David's house and doesn't hear the door close.  When he makes it to his own house, he looks over to where David's house is and sees the boy sitting there.  Quietly eating his treat in the open doorway.

And Jasper swears.

He's eating it with a smile.

////

When Jasper approaches the familiar ice cream truck, he can hear two voices yelling at each other near the truck's window.

"You tellin' me this is all two dollars?!"

"I said count 'em, you gigantic square!"

"Uhh...?"  Jasper walks up to find David gripping the edge of the window from where he hangs with a snarl.  The ice cream man glares back down at David as he holds a fist full of coins.  Oh.

"It's two dollars!"

"Quit jerkin' my chain!  As if I'd believe you!"

"Can I count?"  The two of them turn their heads to Jasper as he sheepishly rubs his arm.  "I mean, if I count them in front of you, it'd save you the trouble and prove Dave- David's telling the truth."  The ice cream man rolls his eyes but hands the change over to Jasper regardless.  And so the brunette carefully sorts out the assortment of change, and holy cow, he can see why the ice cream man was angry at first.  It's a big mess of nickels and pennies and dimes, with maybe one quarter in the mix, but he counts out the change dutifully, carefully, and out loud so that the ice cream man can see his work.

"...and two dollars."  He gathers up the change and holds it up to the ice cream man.  "David was telling the truth."

"I told you, you big doofus."

"Watch it, kid, or else I'm taking your money and drivin' away."

"That's stealing!"

"As if you haven't tried stealin' from me before."  But the ice cream man disappears and comes back with two drumsticks.  "Here, your ice cream."

"Yessss!"  David takes them both, before turning to Jasper and handing him a stick.

"...Huh?"

"Here."  He shoves it into Jasper's hand and looks away.  "For the other times you got me ice cream."

"Oh!  You didn't have to-"

"Later, nerd!"  David runs off and into his house, slamming the door shut as he leaves Jasper in the dust.

"...Are you two friends now?"

"Uhh."  Jasper looks down at the drumstick in his hand.  It's the usual kind - vanilla, coated with chocolate and nuts.  He unwraps it and gnaws on the outer shell.

Sweet.

"...Maybe."

"Huh."  The ice cream man sounds amused as he reclines against his window.  "That was quick."

////

It becomes a routine.

Everyday, the ice cream man comes.  Sometimes it'll be Jasper who meets him first.  And sometimes it's David.

But there's an unspoken rule between them.

They have to wait until the other shows up before leaving.

It's like a meeting place, but with a guy who brings the meeting place to them.

Normally, they just buy the ice cream and part ways back to their houses.  

But sometimes...

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"What?"

Jasper and David sit on the curb, the ice cream man already driving away as they eat.  It's too hot to stay indoors, so they find themselves having a rare moment outside in the sun.  Jasper wouldn't mind staying quiet, if only for the fact that David bites down on the bomb pop like it's candy and crunching away at it in his mouth.

Just watching him eat it makes Jasper's teeth ache.

"Biting down on it!"

"No it doesn't."  David chomps down on it again, making Jasper cringe. 

"My mom says that biting ice cream like that can hurt your teeth."

David snorts.

"You're just a chicken."

"Am not!"

"Then do it, chicken."

Jasper looks at his own popsicle.  He doesn't want to hurt his teeth, but he also doesn't want to be called a chicken.  David grins slyly as he nudges Jasper.

"Chiiiickeeeeen," he goads.

"I'm not a chicken!"  Without a second thought, Jasper bites down on his popsicle and crunches down on the block of flavored ice.  It feels as though the ice is freezing his teeth all the way down to his gums, and it sort of hurts, and sort of doesn't.

It's still not pleasant though, so he chews through it quickly.

"See?"  David nudges him again with a lighter grin as he goes back to polishing off the popsicle.  "It's not that bad."

"Ugh."  He determines not to do that again.  "I think I'll pass on eating popsicles like that ever again."

David snickers but doesn't push him.  Instead, they both kick at the asphalt beneath their feet and take in the rays.

////

Summer comes, and summer goes.  They go back to school, pretend they don't know each other asides from a neighborly nod, before continuing on with their lives.

But when summer returns, they find themselves meeting up back at the ice cream truck.

"Wanna try these ones?!"  Jasper excitedly points at the pastel-looking ice cream bars on the truck.

"Are you getting it only for the colors?"

"Why not!"  

"That's dumb.  You're dumb."  

"You just don't wanna admit you wanna try the cotton candy one."  Jasper teases the ginger as David rolls his eyes.

"Whatever.  I'll just take the watermelon one."  

"Well, I'm taking the cotton candy one, 'cause I'm not a chicken."

"You take that back."

"Are you kids gonna pay or what?"

"Here you go, mister!"  As the ice cream man hands them their treats, the two of them sit back on the curb, kicking at the asphalt as they get used to each other yet again.

"You think his menu ever changes?"

"Nah, he seems too lazy to do that."

"But what if something new comes out?  Like a tubular kind of ice cream."

"He already has a tube-y ice cream."

"No, like tubular!  Like wicked?  Gnarly?"

"...I hate you so much.  Just speak like a human!"

"But I am??"  David yells as Jasper laughs.  "Take a chill pill, man!  It's how everyone speaks nowadays!"

"That's a lie.  A big, dumb lie that only a square would make."

"Calling people a square is sooo outdated, Davey."  The nickname slips out before Jasper can stop himself, and he slaps his hand over his mouth in shock.  "Oh, no, I'm sorry!  I didn't mean to-"

"It's fine."

And he blinks.

"...Huh?"

"I said it's fine."  David kicks at the asphalt, keeping his eyes away from Jasper's as he bites into his ice cream.  "...I'm okay with you calling me 'Davey'."

"Are.  Are you sure?"

"Yeah."  David shrugs before turning to face Jasper.  He looks uncertain, nervous even as he twirls the melting treating between his fingers.  "I mean, we're friends, right?"

And he blinks again.

Mouth slightly agape. 

He must have taken too long to respond because suddenly David's ears are bright red as he stands up abruptly.  "Wh-whatever!  If we're not friends, just say it-!"

"We are!"  Jasper stands up just as quickly, a giddy grin making it onto his face as he makes to hug David, only to remember the sticky ice cream in their hands.  "We're friends!"

It's David's turn to blink as he registers the words Jasper says.  And then.

He smiles.

A real, genuine smile.

"...Cool!"

And when summer inevitably ends, he hopes he'll get more than a nod from David as they pass each other in the halls.

////

Summers come, and summers go.  As they pass each other in the halls, Jasper goes for a high-five that David avoids, only to punch Jasper (lightly) in the arm later.

They sit next to each other at lunch, Jasper sharing his snacks with David as the latter pours over Jasper's homework as Jasper explains each problem to him.

They become an odd pair, the two of them.  David's bristly exterior is immediately softened when Jasper is nearby, and Jasper's mood lightens considerably no matter the problem he has to face as long as David is there with him.

People often ask him if he hopes to make David a more cheery person by sticking with him.  After all, Jasper is all smiles and bright colors.  But Jasper just shrugs, saying he likes David the way he is.

If David changes, then he'll still like him.

Because David is David.

Just like how Jasper is Jasper.

Some things about them will change, Jasper knows that's inevitable.  Habits change, opinions change, outlooks change.

But some routines never change.

They're fourteen as they wait for the ice cream truck together, sitting on Jasper's front lawn as the cool grass stains their shorts.

"Aren't we too old for ice cream trucks?"  David is lying down besides Jasper, his eyes closed as Jasper drops torn up grass onto his face.  Jasper giggles as David swats halfheartedly at his hand.

"Nah."  

"We could be doing something else.  Like playing games.  Or eating ice."

"Only you would eat ice."

"Yeah well, maybe if you didn't think your teeth were so fragile-"

Jasper rolls David over, the other boy squeaking indignantly as his words are muffled by the dirt and grass. 

"UGH!  JASP-"  And then a familiar jingle rounds the corner.

"Oh it's Mr. Kevin!"  Jasper bounces to his feet and dashes away to meet the familiar driver.  "What's up-!"

David comes up from behind Jasper and grabs him in a headlock, already yelling at the amused man as he pulls out a few bills.

"HE WANTS THE LEMON ICE!"

"HEY-"

"Whatever my loyal customers want."

"HEY-"

////

A few more summers come and go.  Puberty is wack.  High school is wack.  Preparing for college is super bogus wack.  But David isn't wack.

If time could stop for just a moment, just so Jasper could have more seconds in the day to relish those moments of happiness that escape them more often than not, then maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't feel as though everything was falling through his fingers so quickly.

Things change too quickly.

Times change too quickly.

Even old routines, that one routine he'd grown to depend on every summer.

That began to change too.

As the two of them wait for the ice cream man, a man who has slowly begun to fade from their lives as the times change, Jasper finds himself clutching desperately to the past as his feet tap nervously against the grass.  He can feel David's eyes on him, watching as his best friend slowly unravels before him.  With a sigh, David leans against him, forcing Jasper to a halt as he forces the teen to lay down in the grass.

Up above them, the clouds roll by peacefully, completely unbothered and untethered to any sorts of worries.

"...You think he's gonna come by?"

"I don't think he's got enough customers to justify it, Jasp."

"...Bummer."

"Hm."

They continue to watch the clouds for a while, Jasper's disappointment settling on his face as he wonders if he took his childhood for granted yet again.  A finger prods his cheek, and he turns to see David's green eyes.  Calm.  Relaxed, even.  He's mellowed out throughout the years, but he still wears a frown most days.  He's grown up a lot since he was that mean, bratty kid next door.

"You want ice cream that bad?"

"It's not that."  Jasper bites his lip.  He's kind of embarrassed actually, wanting to stick to this routine for so long.  David's probably long since gotten tired of waiting for the ice cream truck, especially during these recent years as the man showed up less and less.  But he never complains or goes against Jasper's wants, and instead plays along patiently as Jasper continues to cling.  

"Then what is it?"

Is it hard to explain?  Or is it just embarrassing to say?  He looks over to David, and there's understanding in his eyes as he props himself up, waiting for Jasper to choose his words without any rush.

How lucky was he to keep a friend like David for so long?

"We stuck together because of the ice cream truck."  David's eyes widen as the words sink in.  Jasper laughs, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck as he looks away.  "I dunno it just- I'm probably just tripping over this for no reason, dude, sorry-"

"It's important to you."  Jasper feels David lean against him as he thinks out loud.  "I don't think it's wrong that you're upset about it."

"...But it's a dumb thing to cling to."

"Not really.  We became friends because we kept buying ice cream together.  I think that's pretty meaningful."  David rests his chin on Jasper's shoulder as they continue to sit, waiting for nothing to arrive. 

"Is it bad that I miss it?"

"Nah."  

The breeze ruffles their hair.

"...What do you think Kevin is up to?"

"Probably selling drugs."

"Davey!"

"What?"  The ginger laughs, puffs of warm brushing against Jasper's neck as he gradually calms down.  "I'm right."

"You don't know that."

"Maybe."  

Jasper closes his eyes.  It's hot out, but he doesn't mind David sticking so close by.  It's comforting, actually, feeling his warmth like this.  Like, no matter what, even if the ice cream truck doesn't come by anymore, David doesn't really need a reason to just come by and sit next to Jasper and do nothing together.

At least that won't change.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"Let's do something next year."

"Like what?"

"Something new."  David turns his attention back to the sky and reaches out towards it.  He tries to grab a cloud, but it floats away from his hand.  "I've always wanted to go camping."

"But we don't know anything about camping."

"We can practice."  David pulls back just enough to look Jasper in the eye, bright eyed at the prospect.  "We got a whole year to prepare, and we'll be graduating soon anyways.  Why not do something special for that summer?"

No more ice cream trucks.  No more sitting around.  But something new to fill in the void.

It couldn't hurt, right?

"Yeah."  He smiles as David returns with his own grin.  "Let's try that out."

\\\\

Summers come as they are wont to do.  And they leave as they tend to do.  The ice cream truck never comes back.

But that's okay.

David brightens up significantly as they begin camping, and Jasper wonders if he'd been holding his friend back for so long, making him wait for trucks to come when it was clear they needed to move on.

And yet.

He stood by him the entire time, waiting until Jasper was ready to let go.

An unspoken trust.  With unwavering understanding.

Camping is alright, he supposes, but David loves how the trees surround them, how the birds sing above them, the way they come across streams and rivers as though they were new discoveries.

Camping is alright.  But David's happiness is worth so much more.

"Jasp!"  David pulls him along to the nearby clearing, their campfire crackling softly as he points up to the sky.  "You don't get to see stars like this often!"

"...Yeah."  He watches as David stares up at the night sky, so unlike the boy he grew up with.  It's a side of him he's rarely seen before.

And he thinks that it's a shame that they never got to explore this side of him sooner.

Wouldn't that have made David happier?

David turns to Jasper, head tilted to the side as he catches his friend staring.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Oh, uh, nothing."  He looks away with a blush, scratching at his cheek as he looks for something to distract David with.  "Oh yeah, we should make sure the campfire doesn't burn down anything, right?"

"Oh- yeah!"  David rushes back, already worried as Jasper laughs.

This.

This is different.

But it's a good kind of different.

"Hey."

"Huh?"  David looks up from where he sits by the fire, watching as Jasper plops down besides him.

"Why do you like camping so much?"

"...I dunno it just."  He shrugs, smiling wistfully as he watches the fire.  "I mean, I used to camp a lot with my dad.  Before he left."  

Ah, right.

"Wouldn't you hate camping then?"

"I mean, I did.  For a long time, I did."  David laughs, a light blush dusting his cheeks as he talks.  "But then, you became my friend.  And we grew closer and.  I just wanted to do something with you.  Something that we could claim as our own.  Sure, there was that whole ice cream thing but.  That could only last for so long, and when it ran its course, I saw how you were struggling to just.  Wrap your mind around losing something that was so us.  And I wanted to do something.  Make a new something.  And.  Camping was the only thing I could think of."  He shrugs as he turns to face Jasper, the brunette wide eyed as the ginger grins.  "It just felt... right, you know?"

"...God."  Jasper shakes his head, laughing as he does so.  "You're amazing, you know that?"

"Only because you stuck by long enough for me to be amazing."  David nudges his shoulder playfully.  "...Hey."

"Hm?"

"Thanks.  For actually, um.  Being my friend."  David looks down as he speaks.  "It couldn't have been easy."

"...Nah, thanks for letting me stick to that ice cream schtick for so long."  Jasper bonks his head gently against David's.  "That couldn't have been easy."

"It's whatever."  David bonks back with a smile.  "I mean, as long as I got to spend time with you, it was worth it."

...Yeah.

It was, wasn't it?

He smiles as their fingers brush together.

Yeah, maybe camping was just alright.  If it'd been with anyone else, he'd be pretty indifferent and distant throughout the whole affair.

But.

With David?

Like when they were waiting for the ice cream truck together, the sun beaming down above them, feet kicking playfully at asphalt as they listened to the sounds of the birds chirping in the distance.

Sitting here, by an open fire, underneath the stars and listening to the songs of the crickets and the hoots of the owls.

Just like then.

Just.  Existing next to each other.

It just.

Feels.

Right.

#camp camp #cc david #cc jasper #jaspvidweek2020 #jaspvid #and special guest #cc dirty kevin #boy he sure does show up a lot #this is very rushed #i wish i could have done this concept better justice buT #i can see the sun #at this rate i will posting all of these so late #SHRUGS #i just wanted to write some shitty shitty kid!david #i think he's great #bad to the bone boy #bad to the bone boy having to become less bad without camp campbell to suddenly change his outlook in life #and jasper never being traumatize #d #that is just #clenches fist good

[sixteenandsixteenhundred]

The Guy Who Saved My Life

Summary: This is an alternate epilogue to The Sun ending I wrote after several days of joking that I could’ve written a better plot (I'm not saying this actually is better it's just a silly little wish fulfilment piece I thought I would share). There are a few things that don’t exactly adhere to the world of 2077 simply because I think the stuff in the original TTRPG and Cyberpunk Red is cooler. This is also a reminder to everyone to go and read or re-read Never Fade Away.

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: Spoilers for several character deaths, as well as events that lead up to The Sun ending.

A/N: Is this a crappy first draft with minimal editing? Did I pressure myself to finish and post it before 2020 ends? Did I spend valuable time writing this when I have three unwritten essays due in soon? The answer to all of these questions is yes.

Also on AO3 here

‘Hello, Night City! Drag your asses out of your sad sack and turn to face the sky!’ The radio chirped as V pulled herself out of bed, greeted by the afternoon sun. She was on autopilot, completely lost to the chaos of the city below until the cold shock of the shower snapped her back to reality, if that’s what you want to call it.

‘But for all you sitting in the gutter, looking up at the smog, here’s someone you ain’t heard in a while - Johnny Silverhand!’

‘Off.’ V barked, but it came out ragged and broken. She coughed. Blood. The radio fell silent.

‘Good afternoon, V. I trust you had a restful sleep.’ Alva’s voice was flat, empty, it scratched at the back of V’s skull and sent tension down into her fists.

‘Not now, Alva.’ A quiet chirp and the AI fell silent. Obedient.

Finally, a moment to herself - she hated it. Hard to be alone when you don’t recognise the bitch in the mirror.

She remembered the stench of loneliness that had bombarded her at Kerry’s mansion. There was only one thing in this damn apartment that didn’t smell just the same. She pulled the first clothes she saw off the floor and managed to dress herself before reaching for the samurai jacket Rogue had given her.

She hadn’t worn it all week, but then again, she hadn’t done much that warranted getting dressed since everything had happened, since everything had gone wrong.

It didn’t make any sense. Johnny had been a construct in her head; he’d never worn the jacket and she’d never been able to smell the guy, but instinct told her it smelt of him - cigarettes and tequila and something she couldn’t even place. She pulled the sleeves down as far as they would reach, hoping to cover the tattoo.

Reality called again, or rather Emmerick did. ‘Ey, boss.’ Hearing a familiar voice helped more than she thought it would; hurt a hell of a lot more too though.

‘Em, shit. Couldn’t ask a favour, could I?’

‘For you? Anything.’

‘Tell him the job’s off the table.’ V waited for a response but wasn’t surprised that she didn’t get one. ‘No renegotiating, not some other time, just call it off.’

‘Sure thing,’ Emmerick replied. ‘Couldn’t come and do the honours yourself?’

‘I got something else I wanna do, besides, you can handle him; don’t be afraid to put some lead in him if he starts anything; fed up of that schmuck.’

‘I’ll keep that in mind.’

‘Call me with anything urgent; I’ll drop by in a day or two. Oh, and call off Del, I won’t be needing that ride.’

‘Will do, boss, and no worries, take your time.’

Her agent flickered off as she hung up. Before heading out she grabbed the pistols, Pride and the Malorian, and donned Johnny’s aviators to hide her bloodshot eyes.

It wasn’t far to the alley behind Misty’s - V’d made sure she stayed in the neighbourhood, even if she didn’t amble about it the way she used to. The kids loitering on the steps gave her a wide berth, staring wide-eyed at NC’s newest legend, snickering behind their hands when she stumbled and slipped on a flyer. She managed to catch herself, but her heart sank as she waited for a snide comment that never came.

Viktor wasn’t shocked to hear the door open or the metal grate give way, but he sure was surprised to see V stood there before him. Neither he nor Misty had heard from her other than a quick call to say that she was alive, and rumour had it she’d only shown her face at The Afterlife, her own damn club, once or twice.

‘What can I do for ya, V?’ Viktor stood from his chair and welcomed her in.

V’s eyes scanned over the room for a moment, eyebrows creasing in confusion.

‘Fuck, Vik… I dunno.’ It hit her that she had no idea why she’d come here. ‘Don’t know why I’m anywhere anymore.’ V perched on the end of Viktor’s desk and closed in on herself; eyes cast downwards, shoulders hunched.

‘Sorry for bothering ya, Vik.’

He stepped forward and put a sturdy hand on V’s shoulder, crouching to make eye contact. She started a little at the touch but didn’t pull away.

‘Don’t worry about it, you’re always welcome here kid.’

‘Thanks.’ The gratitude was hushed and heavy with regret.

Viktor pulled his friend into a hug, and, for a long moment, there was only the muffled drone of the city above them.

Tears began to creep down V’s face, emerging from behind the glasses.

‘What the fuck am I gonna do, Vik?’ V posed a question they both knew he couldn’t answer.

She kept talking just to fill the silence of the clinic. ‘I killed ‘em all Vik. Rogue’d be alive if it weren’t for me.’

Viktor kept his arms tight around her, scared if he let her go she would crumble. ‘Rogue was great; she just had bad luck, nothin’ anyone could have done. Blood isn’t on your hands.’

V’s memories of that night were hazy but one stood out, crystal clear. Rogue’s body, limp and contorted in the bowels of Arasaka tower, Pride still clutched in her hand, finger on the trigger. The thought of it made her feel nauseous.

‘Isn’t it Vik? Whose is it on? What about Jackie and T-Bug? Evelyn Parker? Takemura? Scorpion?’

Her final question was choked out in a whisper. ‘What about Johnny?’

Viktor knew what he could say - Johnny Silverhand died 55 years ago to a bunch of greedy corpos - but he knew that wouldn’t do jack shit with the state she was in right now.

The heavy grate screeched open again. Nerves fried to shit, paranoia scratching at the nape of her neck, V turned, in one swift movement pulling the Malorian on whoever had intruded. She held the pistol in her left hand.

Shit.

Misty froze, raising the cups of coffee she held in each hand. ‘Only me, V.’

V holstered the gun, cursing under her breath as Misty approached, setting down one of the cups beside Viktor.

‘Sorry, shouldn’t’a barged in like that.’

‘Nah Misty, shit, I’m the one who pulled iron on ya.’ V removed the aviators and pulled her hands across her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and bruised, her skin gaunt and lifeless. Calling her a living legend might be a bit of an overstatement.

The buzz of NC set in again. The silence between the three friends was oddly comfortable, considering none of them had a damn clue what to say to each other.

A minute of shuffling and sparse eye contact passed before V put the glasses and a brave face back on.

‘I’m gonna head outta the city for the night.’

‘V...’ Misty wanted to stop her but knew she was pushing her luck.

‘I can’t stand it here; it’s all so loud. I gotta delta.’

‘Shit, can’t pretend to know what’s going through that head of yours. Just take care of yourself out there, kid.’ Viktor downed the last of his coffee before it had a chance to go cold.

‘I’ll drop by again tomorrow, promise.’ V’s voice was laced with guilt, desperate for her friends to stop worrying about her. ‘Managed to get some sleep last night, ya know.’

Misty and Viktor saw a familiar blank look set on V’s face as she gazed passed them, looking for something no one else saw.

‘Hey, that’s great V.’ Misty chirped.

‘Just as I was slippin' outta my head, finally, I-‘ Fuck. What was she doing? What did she think she’d say next?

There are some things you don’t tell anyone. The fact that, just as she lost consciousness, right arm stretched out across the empty bed, she could've sworn she’d felt cool, smooth chrome resting in her hand? That was top of the list.

Scrambling, tripping over her own words, V was quick to change the subject

‘You guys ain’t gotta word about me.’ She gave a single, hollow laugh. ‘Hell, I stormed Arasaka and made it out alive, or so I’ve been told - I’m untouchable.’

Viktor and Misty mustered their goodbyes. They wanted to reach out, ask if she wouldn’t stay in the city for tonight, they could all grab a pizza and talk crap until the sun came up again. But V had said it best herself; she was untouchable.

Jackie’s Arch was waiting for her back up in the alley. Sure, it wasn’t the safest place, but V preferred to keep it locked up back here. Besides, I wasn’t like keeping something in a garage has ever deterred a thief, she knew that from personal experience. She dragged the bike out onto the street and it revved to life, radio crackling over the noise of the engine.

‘-Significant roadblocks up in Northside. NCPD are aiming to clear the roads quickly but that’s about all the information we have. For now, we’d advise against any unnecessary travel through the district and we’ll keep you up to date with any breaking information.’ The announcer’s voice fizzled out and a song took its place. V sat for a moment, calculating, before speeding off ‘round a corner, cursing under her breath.

Autopilot set in again, and V was barely sure of where she was until a red light flashed up ahead of her. She considered just running it, but at the last moment, the bike came to a screeching halt.

Looking around, V recognised a few buildings, washed out and faded. She hated this part of town – never any good jobs and always tinged by some sad shadow of the past.

The lights turned orange but V’s eyes were instead cast down an alleyway, and she couldn’t resist the pull that drew her in.

Resting the Arch against a wall, V’s slow steps took her deeper into the shadows. The buildings here were old, concrete beginning to crumble, plants sprouting through the cracks – it was odd to see anything in this state. Sure, it wasn’t V’s favourite place to be but it was hardly bad real estate, and wild plants growing in the middle of NC? Not a typical sight.

Enchanted by the story this place wanted to tell her, V pushed on until she met the end of the alley. Looking up at the building before her, a memory stung in her chest. She’d never been here before.

There were no signs left to indicate what this place might’ve been, but plants burst from every escape they could find, moving gently in the wind to beckon V inside.

Then it hit her. She half expected that blue, glitching static, ‘Relic malfunction detected’ flashing across her vision, but there was only silence.

It was too quiet for Night City, even the noise and chaos seemed to have abandoned this place.

The doorway had collapsed in on itself a long time ago, a tree now twisting its way around the rubble, barring V from entering. She clambered up a rusted, crumbling fire escape, working on a muscle memory that wasn’t hers until she was two floors up, facing a boarded window.

It didn’t take V much effort to pry the brittle wood away from the building, which was just as well considering she had little left.

Through the window, V stood in a small entrance hall, remnants of a staircase falling away behind her. Putting a hand against the door before her, every ounce of strength evaporated from V’s body. She took a deep breath, a moment to calm herself down. In a weird twist of fate, she’d’ve given the world to see his flickering blue form right now.

Putting her weight against the door, V pushed into a larger room. Plants had escaped from their ornamental pots and weaved across the floor, a few even daring to entangle themselves in the gaudy chandeliers that hung from the high ceiling. Beneath the plants and long-settled dust, booths with plush, syn-leather seats were scattered with bottles and glasses, a few cheap pistols even scattered about.

Whoever abandoned this place was quick to delta. Probably had no idea they wouldn’t be coming back.

In the centre of the room sat a grand bar with a pale marble countertop. V pulled herself up to sit atop in, tucking her legs under her as she looked down onto the lower counter. It didn’t take her long to find what she was looking for.

A skewered receipt confirmed what she already knew:

        ATLANTIS

        3:16AM, MARCH 8TH 2024

The order was cheap vodka shots and a slew of cocktails she’d never even heard of, but that didn’t matter.

Dismounting to rain the cabinets below, V pulled out a bottle, the label long since faded and worn away. V tossed the lid onto the floor and took a long swig. Even then she couldn’t put a finger on the strange liquid, but it burned her throat and that was good enough.

V set the bottle down, trading it for a rusted corkscrew that had been abandoned half a century ago.

‘If these walls could talk…’ With that she deltaed, jumping down from the fire escape and pacing back over to the bike.

Somewhere along the way, the city gave out to dusty open fields, old Petrochem plants dotting the barren landscape. V pulled the bike off to the side of the road and began wading through the scrap and rubble to a familiar slab of concrete.

V wondered if anyone had been here since their visit; the metal sheet lay undisturbed bearing her messy inscription:

        JS 2023

She flipped the sheet over – there was less graffiti on this side – pulled out the corkscrew, and got to work.

The sun had long since set by the time V was finished. She carved a thin channel and stuck the cool metal into the dirt at the edge of the concrete. After propping it up with a few worn-out tyres, she took a step back to admire the new inscription. Her penmanship, if you could even call it that, was shoddy, but she couldn’t care less if anyone else could read it.

Across the bottom were four names; T-BUG, SCORPION, EVELYN PARKER, GORO TAKEMURA, each with 2077 scratched below them. Above them were three more. On the left of the sheet;

        RACHEL ‘ROGUE’ AMENDIARES

                  2077

        STILL THE BEST

The right-hand side read;

        JAQUITO ‘JACKIES’ WELLES  

                  2077

        “THE ONE THING WE CAN’T DO IS BE AFRAID OF OTHERS”

She’d left the central space blank until last, as if leaving it unwritten made it any less true. But eventually, she’d managed it, tears falling onto the metal as the night’s chill crept into her bones;

        JOHNNY SILVERHAND

                  2023/2077

        THE GUY WHO SAVED MY LIFE

Finally, V dug a small hole in front of her plaque, dirt embedding itself beneath her nails. She drew Pride and placed it in the earth before her. The Malorian sat heavy in her hand, and as much as she willed her hand to set it down beside Rogue’s pistol, every inch of her body resisted. The gun found its way back to the holster at her hip.

After burying Pride, V laid back on the concrete, looking up at the few stars that were visible once you left the city. She pulled a cigarette from a pack in one of the jacket's pockets – she certainly didn’t put them there – and lit it.

Closing her eyes, V tried not to think about the body below her. She pulled the jacket tight around her against the chill of the Badlands, alone.

#cyberpunk #cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk 2077 spoilers #cyberpunk 2077 alternate ending #alternate ending

[dbssh]

🌼pick a random oc surprise me

Write a short drabble from your OCs POV meeting their Love Interest. 

😳😳😳😳 ok i havent written in. a while tm and im very much not happy with this but! ive been obsessively working on it for the past two days so i think its time to just Stop and hit post.

Aja had been hiding out in the woods. It was isolated enough to be safe, but still within walking distance of the nearest town. She’d made it her home for the past few weeks, taking a break from travelling for the moment. Winter was coming soon. There wasn’t any snow on the ground, yet, but there was less and less readily-available food. That wasn’t usually a problem for her, but recently it was. There was a stray dog, a big black mutt with short hair and a long face, that had been sticking around her camp since she’d come here. It was a sad, skinny thing, and she always made sure it had something to eat. But today had been particularly cold, a bitter wind and dark clouds on the horizon, and by the time the sun went down, she had nothing. 

The dog nuzzled into her hip as she stood at the edge of the treeline, looking out at the small town not too far away. She took a deep breath, slung her bag over her shoulder, and started walking. The dog followed. 

She slowed down as they neared a fence, the backside of a house. All the lights were out, as they should be at this hour. She stepped around to the other side of the house and found her prize, two metal garbage cans. She made a shushing motion at the dog, before she quietly removed the lid and started digging.

It didn’t take long to find enough scraps of meat and discarded food for the dog to be satisfied, which she was grateful for. She didn’t want to dig around in garbage any more than she had to, especially when she had no idea when she’d be able to clean herself properly. She sat with the dog while it chewed on the bone from a ham, stroking its matted fur. For a moment it was almost peaceful.

The peace was short-lived, interrupted by a loud clanging as something else disturbed the trash cans, something far less concerned with stealth than Aja had been. She stood and stepped over, looking into the can. It was a raccoon, filthy and hardly more than skin-and-bones.

“Get out of here,” she whispered at it, shooing it away. She felt awful for the poor thing, but with the noise it was making, it was putting them both in danger. “Get your own, we’ve already got this one.” It didn’t seem to understand her, and all it did was dig further into the garbage, making an awful noise as it’s paws clanged against the metal. She was panicking, knowing the noise would wake someone up soon if it hadn’t already, and she grabbed at the raccoon, trying to pull it out as it hissed and screamed, scratching at her hands, the dog barking at it as it did. 

The door to the house slammed open, and an older man walked out, holding a shotgun and murmuring about the god-damned vermin. He stopped in his tracks as soon as he saw her, and she froze as she saw him, dropping the raccoon to the ground. 

“What the hell?” he said. Aja took a moment to consider her options, looking from the old man to the gun in his hands, to the street behind him. While he was still sitting there, dumb-struck, trying to figure out what exactly he was looking at, Aja took a deep breath, and broke into a sprint, pushing past him and into the street. She didn’t know where she was running or where she intended to go, but she couldn’t stay here. 

The old man swore as she bolted, running into the street and firing a few shots. Lucky for her the old man was a lousy shot, and in the dark of the night he missed. The noise roused the other houses on the street, lights clicking on in the windows as people woke. 

She didn’t know what to do. She kept running. 

--- 

Parked in an alleyway was a mint-blue pickup truck, with more than a few dents and scratches along the sides and a crack in the windshield. Sleeping in the driver's seat was Hutch. Or at least, they were sleeping, until gunshots rang out through the night and they jumped awake, scrambling to shove their keys into the ignition. They had no fucking clue what was happening, and they weren’t going to stick around to find out. 

As the headlights blinked to life, they caught a figure. She froze in the bright white light, staring directly at them like a deer crossing the road. She was panicked, and tall, really fucking tall, with wild dark hair and all-black clothes complete with a cape that draped over her shoulders. She looked terrified. 

Within a moment she’d snapped out of it and kept running. Hutch leaned out the window and called out after her, trying to get her to wait, but she didn’t stop. Fuck. 

They started the engine and pulled the stupid truck out of the alley as fast as it would go. 

---

If Aja had panicked when the headlights had turned on, she was fucking terrified when the truck actually started following her. She had no idea what was about to happen, but even she couldn’t outrun a car. So when it pulled in front of her and stopped abruptly, she stopped too, ready to face whatever was about to happen. 

She was speechless when the passenger door popped open, and the driver looked up at her, smiled, and said:

“Need a ride?”

“Pardon?”

“I heard the shots. If they have anything to do with you, you probably wanna get the hell out of this place before they start forming a good-ol’ fashioned angry mob,” they paused, still with a cocky grin on their face. “I have a car, if you haven’t noticed, but we gotta get moving. Do you want in or not?”

She paused, deliberating. She could keep going, alone. She’d survive, and she’d find her own way out, and it would be fine. She didn’t need this person. On the other hand… she hadn’t had a real conversation in years. And here someone was, talking to her like a peer, not even flinching as they looked at her. 

Noise of shouting townsfolk echoed down the street. 

“Last chance,” they said, starting to look worried. “If you aren’t getting out of here, I am.”

She took a deep breath, and got in the car. 

---

They drove until morning, mostly silent. There had been some one-sided conversation at first, Hutch asking questions and Aja giving one-word answers, but they’d stopped trying at some point. The radio droned quietly, some country song on the radio, Hutch tapping their fingers on the wheel and muttering the words. 

In the morning sun, she was able to get a better look at them. They were short, with tanned brown skin and a number of scars across their face and arms. Their hair was blond, pink at the tips, looking as though it had just begun to grow out of a neat cut. Their face seemed to be in an almost-permanent grin, their silver eyes twinkling with a mischievous energy. 

And looking closer at them, it became obvious that they weren’t human, at least not entirely. Their ears were pointed and animal-like, flicking about like a cat. Their fingertips had short black claws, and tucked around their waist was a thin, wiry tail that looked almost like that of a mouse or a lion, with a tuft of fur the same pink-golden colour as their hair at it’s tip.

She must have looked for just a moment too long, because they turned to look at her with another stupid grin, and they winked. 

Her face felt hot as she quickly turned away, staring at the window as they laughed. 

“I’m just messin’ with you, you’re fine,” they said.

“Why did you help me?” she asked, changing the topic. 

“I dunno,” they shrugged. “You just looked like you needed help, is all. Anyone would’ve done it.” Their voice was thick with a southern accent. 

“Nobody else did. Nobody else has ever done what you did.” She paused. “Not for me, anyways.”

“Anyone decent, I should say,” they laughed. “Those people? Not decent. Towns like that never are. Don’t really know how to treat anyone different.” 

“I suppose so. Still. Thank you.” 

“Yeah, ‘course.” 

“If there’s ever anything I can do to repay you…” she trailed off, not really sure how to finish that. They looked her over for a minute, their silver eyes shining. 

“Y’know what? There is something.”

“Oh?” She wasn’t certain, but she didn’t think people usually actually took someone up on an offer like that. 

“Sure!” they laughed. “Just stay with me a little while. It gets lonely out here all by myself. Whenever you’re ready to leave, you can go, I ain’t gonna stop you. Just thought it might be nice for both of us to have some good company for a change.” That… didn’t sound too bad. She wasn’t really sure why, but she trusted them. Besides, even if they did try something, she was fairly sure she could take care of it. And they were right, after all. She was lonely. Incredibly, painfully lonely, in a way she had to force herself not to think about. 

“Okay,” she said, after a pause.

#oc talk #ALSO. its aja and hutch because im predictable sorry #ive not felt super like myself the past few days and i think it shows because the vibes? the writing style? all over the place #also this is probably the 4th different scenario ive tried for their meeting. i dont love it but it works better than what i had before so #progress #also. is it obvious enough yet that i dont know how to do endings? i just kinda leave it lmao i dont know how to end something in a Good Way #oc: aja #oc: hutch #asks #demondiice

[xenosgirlvents]

“Fantum maskz! Git ya’ Fantum maskz! Fer da low, low price a’ all da teef in ya gob, you’ze can look jus’ like Warboss Fantum! Jus’ way, way runtier,” a greenskin merchant bellowed, his calls largely drowned out by the countless other merchants jostling to sell their own wares. The Buhzarr, as the Operorks referred to their main marketplace, was extremely busy today, as well it should have been. The Fantum, warboss of the Operork clan and leader of the growing WAAAAGH! Bignoyz, had finally announced that the WAAAAGH! was ready to take off in search of a “Roight gud foight” and new war stories to sing about. As such, the merchants of the highly organized – by Ork standards, at least – primary warclan were capitalizing on the excitement. Lots of excitement meant lots of loose teef, and lots of loose teef meant lots of greenskins looking to spend said teef.

One greenskin in particular watched the clamoring mob with a smile of amusement from on top of a flimsy “apartment” complex, chewing on some dried meat held in her one good hand. La’al had spent an entire year trapped on this planet, and she had adapted fairly well once things had… well, things involving Orks never really calmed down, but they mellowed slightly. Having painted her limbs and skin green, even with her “roight Orky” helmet she still shouldn’t have passed well as a greenskin. She was much shorter and more slender than proper Orks, while also being much taller and well-built than the gretchin populace of The Stayj – the name the greenskins had given to the planet during their stay. But apparently being able to best most Orks who gave her trouble through hand-to-hand combat was all the bhe’ghaal needed to accept “Lildeff” as one of their own.

It had not been a particularly easy year of her life, as the number of new scars crisscrossing her biological components could clearly show, but she was doing much better than she had ever expected she could. Finishing off her meal, she clamped the jaws/visor of her helmet shut again and dropped down a few stories, walking along atop the various merchant awnings a few yards above the densely packed streets of the Buhzarr. Whenever one of the Orks below noticed Lildeff’s unique silhouette and made a gesture or call up to her, she would respond in kind, either waving the new, much more well-made blade she had recently welded to her left arm or replying in Ork tongues, either true Orkish or their human dialect. If she had been Por’faan the bhe’ghaal’s relative camaraderie would likely have made her entire life worthwhile. She had somehow managed to live alongside the antithesis of the Tau’va. And all it had really taken was some strategic displays of force, and occasionally proving that said displays were more than luck.

After a few hours of relatively aimless wandering, occasionally knocking the teef out of a particularly rowdy greenskin to trade for her regular supplies, the prices of which had been dramatically marked up with how many teef were flowing lately, she found herself at the edge of town opposite where she had made her “home,” more a very heavily booby-trapped cave just beyond the outskirts of the shanty-city, and looked upon the fleet, an odd sense of awe in her at the sight. There were more than fifty Mega-Gargants of various size and design parked out in the badlands – and towering above all of them was the Perish Operork Fort, the Fantum’s personal command center. Even to La’al’s T’au sensibilities it was utterly breathtaking. The Perish was so unbelievable in its scale that even the spires of the Imperator titan whose deployment on Dal’yth she had seen recordings of would have barely reached mid-chest on it.

She had never heard of a bhe’ghaal force so well organized or armed as this WAAAAGH! and she took immense pity on the people who would soon face their wrath. She had done what she could to sabotage the construction of many of the Gargants, but with the way Ork technology functioned, the lone Fire warrior held little faith that her makeshift explosives and strategic cutting and acid bathing would do more than slow them down, enough to allow evacuations with a bit of luck. Despite that, she had worked hard to make sure many of the lesser war machines, like the Kans and Dreads, would crash in spectacular fashion within just a few engine activations, and many Mekz, Painboyz, and Nobz among their numbers had met their end along the edge of her blade, glinting in the dark of night.

Wandering out onto the depot field where the fleet was parked up, she gave the titanic machines another looking over, testing and weakening external mechanisms covertly as she went.

“Oi, Lildeff! Ya bring me anyfin’ ta nosh on?” came a shout from several yards up one of the machines, the “Fist uv Maybee Mork,” if memory served. Looking up, La’al rolled her eyes at the severed purple head yelling at her.

“When wuz da last time A’ brought ya’ anyfin’, ya’ daft git? Ya’ dinnae even ‘av a stomach,” she responded, her own accent still not quite gone behind the Ork one she put on.

“’Oo needz a gut ta’ nosh on stuff?” Nashtoof retorted, swinging himself about on the chain dangling his head from the Gargant.

Shaking her head with a chuckle, La’al jumped up to the spot he was hanging from, finding a relaxed position on one of the many “small” guns jutting out of the machine.

“Pretty much any’un not an Operork, Nash,” the “greenskin” said, pulling some jerky out of her bag and impaling it on one of the head’s tusk-like lower canines. Her words were quite true though. La’al herself had decapitated Nashtoof an entire year prior. However, the “kultur” of the Operorks was extensively intertwined with their ability to sing. As such, the clan held zealously to the belief that their heads had literally no need for their body other than to get properly stuck into fights. Admittedly that was fairly important for Orks in general, but Operorks could be a part of the fight without ever needing to swing a blade or pull a trigger. Their songs alone could, as La’al had seen with her own two eyes, whip their brethren into an astonishing bloodlust, make their machinery work with nearly unparalleled efficiency, or even shake the very foundations of mountains.

“Lookin’ for’ard ta’ getting’ off world, finally?” the T’au asked as Nashtoof worked the piece of meat off of his tooth with his tongue.

“Zog yeh!” he responded before finally getting a grip of the food. “Bin way too long wiffowt a gud scrap!” His chewing on the jerky didn’t even muffle his voice, a concept La’al found even stranger than the fact he was speaking without a body. The line of what is possible had to be drawn somewhere, right?

“I’ze gotta say, doh. I get dis odd feelin’ dat we’ze gonna be in for a bigun soonah den latah,” said the bhe’ghaal, an odd darkness and calm coming over him, fully opposite of how any normal Ork would say those words.

“Whyz’at?” La’al asked, looking down at the head with mild confusion and surprise at the tone of his voice.

“Dunno. Jus’… jus’ a feelin’. Sky’ze getting’ dark, doh. Probubly time fer ya’ ta’ leave, den’. All da’ best scraps iz gonna be goin’ on bakk in town,” the hesitant tone and sudden shift of subject put La’al very much on edge. Even so, she nodded and hopped down from the titanic machine.

“Yeah. Prob’ly time. Dinnae wanna miss da’ gooduns. See ya’ round, Nash,” she said, walking back toward town and the sounds of its clamor. She had adjustments to make to the stellar radio she had been cobbling together in her cave over the last year before its first test that night, after all. But still, something was scratching at the back of her head in regards to what Nashtoof had said, and not just the bhe’ghaal’s tone of voice. It was something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Until, like a sun cresting the horizon, it dawned on her.

Snapping around, she looked up at the system’s star, still high in the sky and as yet untouched by the growing storm-clouds. Yet it was growing darker and darker by the moment. Then, the sky began to roar with the sounds of countless fighter craft and dropships falling through the atmosphere.

La’al saw red. Not for the fighters, not for the dropships, not in their Guard colors. No, what drew the fury from the darkest depths of her heart was the drop pods, falling wave after wave into the badlands and sprawling shanty-towns around her. The drop pods. The jet-black drop pods. Marked with the jagged cross.  The Black Templars had brought their eternal crusade back across the Damocles Gulf. And from the Stayj, a bellowing cry of bloodlust and excitement rose to meet them.

(And so the climax approaches. I’ll admit, not totally sure about how well this particular part works out for someone who didn’t write the thing. Deeply sorry if parts of this story feel less than cohesive with one another. Don’t really have much of a commentary at the moment, but as always I’m open for any questions and critiques)

No need to apologize, and sorry I took this long to get back to you! The truth is just that I've had a rough spell and thus was quite inactive for a while, but thank you for still sending me this. 

I do not have too much commentary on this one; I enjoy the closer look at Ork cultural cues and societal nuances, I have always enjoyed those, so seeing something of a market at the outset, for example, was something I enjoyed greatly!