#dudebros are just gonna be feral

[incorrecttowerofgodquotes]

please rate:

siu does so much to keep the incel/annoying side of the ToG fandom from going feral examples: repeatedly making it seem like he's going to make Rachel less important, continuing the pseudoharem (see: sao) aesthetic without investing in the problematic elements, and being cagey about khunbaam. this has negatively affected the story, and the grand conspiracy is that SIU had an amazing queer as fuck thematically coherent masterpiece in his head originally that you can only see flashes of (like when we almost get an explanation for rachel's perspective every 100 chapters)

(this is silly and wrong but interesting)

I got psychic damage reading this, 2/10.

I’m not gonna say SIU isn’t throwing in some pandering, every long series author does to some extent, but to say he’s trying to placate dudebros is a stretch. Also, I don’t believe SIU started his series with a queer reading in mind, it was just something that developed over time.

The series started off as pretty neutral with romantic ideas, and as it progressed it leaned towards a heterosexual view with Yuri, Endorsi, and Ehwa. However after the Workshop Battle, SIU probably realized he didn’t really want to write a story with harem or romantic elements. That’s why Yuri became a more big sister like figure and Ehwa became more of a close friend. Only Endorsi has kept her overt romantic interest in Bam.

Also Rachel’s received less focus this season because Bam stopped chasing after her. Her and Bam are going their separate ways, with Bam specifically wanting nothing to do with her. And since we follow Bam as our eyes, we won’t see Rachel much.

In short: ToG is a series that exists to tell of a story of a corrupt government that oppressed its people in a dog-eat-dog world, and having an outsider show up and fix it. Whether you get a queer reading out of that is your own decision but I don’t think it’s fair to say SIU is acting with any one group in mind

#tower of god #tog

[tired-reader-writer]

Tiny in the corner of a panel!

Tus is definitely the impulse checker in this triad, lol, and one of his men on the right even has his jaw firmly set— they don't like what they're seeing.

...what's that face for, Clemence?

He wants to make his brother proud 😭

This was a good call and they have sense— they're not idiots, just... overeager to gain honor and merit in battle to prove themselves. They're both young, I forget how old Zaravant is but Isfan is like. 22. And they probably haven't had much experience in terms of big operations coordinated w an entire army outside of their men before this point.

They blundered but they learnt their lesson from this encounter, as we'll see in a later chapter.

I still love this panel, both bc of Tus and bc of Isfan's face, haha.

Cool panel! And ohhhh that was close.

That looks painful, fucking hell.

Okay I'll probably continue this discussion in the next entry because I've run into the image limit but I can't help but feel like this part was aimed at some people among the audience (not among the manga readers on tumblr as far as I can tell, but well as I've mentioned before some anime viewers in the comments were... well...)

Castiello was probably meant to be a stand-in for them.

I don't quite understand— people just see a kindhearted character with a gentle mannerisms and immediately assume “weak”. Happened with Midoriya Izuku back when I was reading the manga (despite the kid being a... feral little shit, to put it mildly), I'm even sure it's happened with Kamado Tanjirou.

And oh, Emma from The Promised Neverland. The way some people were talking about her was... yikes.

Like, excuse me, not every protagonist is gonna be a 100% confident loudmouth or a macho dudebro.

Arslan is kind but that doesn't mean he isn't strong.

#arslan senki reread #arslan senki #the heroic legend of arslan #heroic legend of arslan #isfan #zaravant #tus #clemence #farangis #arslan #ended up going on a rant but I'm sorry I'm just incredibly salty about this topic

[epickiya722]

Deku/Mirko hate is extremely hilarious when it comes from angry dudebros bc you can feel how strong their ego and masculinity is as much as of a wet piece of paper.

But when it comes from ppl whose favorite manga/anime is CSM, JJk and Mp100, calling Deku "pathetic" or complaining abt how Mirko is too sexy... Girl what the fuck are you talking abt you're literally in the pathetic loser meow meow man and sexy girlboss fandom WHAT

(Anon, means the two characters separately, not as a ship. I just have a feeling someone would have taken as such.)

NOT THE WET PAPER! 🤣

But no, for real, it's astounding to me when people hate on Deku or Miruko for reasons I find totally backwards. And it honestly just increases my love for both characters.

I was gonna make a post about it, but I stopped myself because "Kiya, cease the saltiness". But you know what? Imma say it here.

Warning, this is about to get LONG because I have so much to say and I'm tired of just writing posts and deleting them.

Let's me start with my queen, my goddess, the icon Miruko.

I get it when people are tired of the whole "sexy anime girls with the big boobs and butt shots" especially in shonen, I'm annoyed with it myself at times, I am.

But compared to what I seen for female characters in other shonen, especially with Rabbit girls, Miruko is both something tamer and new. Let's be real here!

A lot of rabbit female characters, most really in general, in anime be tiny and meek. Have big boobs and showing off cleavage. And even if they are strong, their physical appearance doesn't mirror it because they're supposed to be "cute".

Miruko though? She has muscles, but she isn't packing them like fucking All Might now. Her body is reminiscent to someone who would work out, someone who is an athlete, especially those who specializes in speed and agility.

What's even better? It's not like Miruko is incapable of being cute.

People look at her and see "aggressive, feral woman with muscles".

But come on now!

This? This can't be cute?

Fuck out of here!!

She is a short rabbit woman! How the fuck isn't she cute to anybody?!

(And honestly, again, I love that she is short because it makes sense. Her being tall is just awkward to me. It's ridiculous, I'll be frank. And honestly, makes me mad for several reasons as someone who shares similar physical features as her.)

Oh, so it's illegal to be sexy and cute for Miruko, but some of the same people lose themselves over shirtless guys in the same anime.

"Look at all the gratuitous shots of Miruko's legs, blech". Not even a moment later, Dabi shows a little bit of tit and people are drooling. Oh, please. Hawks does anything, "he's so cute". Get the hell of out here.

Miruko gets shots of her legs, sure. It's expected in a shonen. But at least her boobs aren't unnecessarily huge and her waist is nearly the size of a pinch. The most that is emphasized is her legs. Midoriya and Iida even gets shots of their legs sometimes!

Oh! Let's not forget how people hate on her because how much she's a fighter!

What bothers me is that I get why it's iffy that Miruko is "aggressive" while having brown skin, I have mixed feelings about that. On one hand, being that she is a brown skinned woman, it is off that she is the way she is. On the other hand, and this is a theory, she could be a reference to Horikoshi's previous protagonist Shiina. Who is an albino rabbit man who had the exact personality Miruko does.

Now the thing that bothers me about this on the part of the fandom is they hate Miruko for being aggressive, right? THEN WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SAME ENERGY FOR SOME OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS?

No, no because almost every character is ready for a fight in BNHA. We are not going to act like Miruko is the worst case out there because she isn't. There are people who love Toga for her bloodthirsty nature but hate Miruko. Bakugou may have some haters, but oh my gosh there are plenty of people who find him badass and attractive for that attitude. The other villains can be just as "mean" and talk about killing, yet oh! They have fans! Hell, even Endeavor got fans!! Kirishima is always ready for a fight, too and practically NO ONE hates him!

So why hate on Miruko?

Hell, even in the mentioned animes/mangas you pointed out, Anon, the women are worse than Miruko. Come on, example, Chainsaw Man. I cannot recall any female character in there that wasn't like evil or bloodthirsty or is like super nice.

And it's not like Miruko is mean. She's just blunt and isn't afraid of who she is. Her "mean" side comes out when she's facing villains. She is a "no-nonsense" character.

Now let me move on to my green boy, Midoriya because whoo boy. When it comes to people within and outside this fandom, I want to gatekeep him so bad.

"Midoriya is so pathetic, he's just a crybaby".

So I guess other shonen protagonists don't exist, huh? So other shonen protagonists don't be crying whether it be for gags or serious moments?

Like this is the same kid who has moments like this.

Him? Him? Are we sure this is the "pathetic" one?

No, this is someone who eventually gets tired of everyone else's shit. (True ♋ Vibes right there.)

Kid cleaned a beach WITHOUT ANY POWERS.

His goal to be a hero is no different than any other protagonist back then and now. And he looks badass doing it.

Know what I adore about Midoriya? That he actually comes off like a damn teenager and have other defining traits that is opposite of other protagonists.

He isn't girl crazy. He's awkward around girls, but he isn't some pervert. Hell, girls are the last thing on his mind.

He's also not some dumb kid. He's may not be #1 in his class, but he's isn't book dumb. He's smart both on and off the field and relies on what he observes to win battles instead of taking five episodes to train while his friends fight some overpowered villain and come back and win within two minutes.

He actually struggles in battle, even with all those quirks, he does have struggles, including what happens with his body. Physical evidence. We barely get that in anime. The most it's a scar or a lost limb that happens BEFORE the story. Midoriya gets abrasions, scars, crooked fingers and even warnings about losing his arms.

Even his appearance is a breath of fresh air to me because I swear red, orange and yellow are too common for protagonists. Don't hate the colors at all, but let's be for real here. Warm colors, be it clothes or hair, is a sign of "Oh that's the protagonist".

Midoriya? Green. HE'S GREEN AND I LOVE IT!! The most he wears of red is his belt and shoes and his backpack is yellow, but Horikoshi makes it very clear that GREEN is his signature color. His name means GREEN.

Midoriya is not the typical shonen protagonist and I adore that about him.

Overall, out of all the characters, I adore both them and find some of what people complain about them just so... *sighs really loud*.

#kiya answers #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #midoriya izuku #izuku midoriya #deku #miruko #mirko #usagiyama rumi #rumi usagiyama #I'M SHIFTING INTO MIRUKO FANGIRL MODE #it's appreciate midoriya hours folks!! #💜🐇🌙 #💚🐇👊 #team rabbit

[kindafooey]

Yeah so I was gonna tell this funky lil "Foo goes feral in a crowded supermarket" anecdote in the notes of the post I reblogged a few minutes ago, but I figured I might as well turn it into a post of its own, so...

Uhh. This happened a few weeks ago after a SUPER frustrating day at work (my boss was being kind of a little bitch that day, which rarely happens but oh boy does he go all out when it does), and I was up to here with men thinking they can just say whatever shit they want to whoever they want. I was in line for the self service checkout at the supermarket when the dude in front of me said something super gross and uncalled for to the cashier nearby. So I, in my calm and collected fed-the-fuck-up-ness, took a step closer to get his attention and said with this politely concerned matronly tone of voice:

"Excuse me, sir? Sorry to bother you, but I think I just heard the sound of your balls crumbling to dust like empty eggshells. Are you okay?"

(I didn't exactly ad lib this - I've used this line in writing like nine years ago. It was in English though, and it sounded... surprisingly more brutal said out loud in Finnish.)

Naturally, the dudebro just stares at me, unable to register the sight of this tiny preteen-looking mf in a kilt saying that shit out of nowhere. So with the sweetest smile under my mask I go, "oh, I must've just imagined it then. Have a nice day, sweetheart" and beeline to the nearest checkout right past him. I could hear him whispering "what the fuck??? What the fuck?????" to the guy accompanying him, but he was clearly too stunned to start picking a fight with me at that point. I saw several bystanders staring at me as well, but I just couldn't bring myself to give a fuck. Y'know, it was one of those days.

The thing is... the supermarket in question is located in the same mall I work at. I see a lot of those people almost every day. I realized soon enough after the incident that I probably, uh, shouldn't have done that? Like, I shouldn't do these things at all, especially in a small town like this? 😅 If this starts happening on a regular basis, it's gonna be my birthtown all over again. (To say I have a reputation there would be putting it mildly.) But at the same time, I can't help being proud as hell? When I get pissed enough, I just start committing verbal manslaughter left and right, all the while being real smooth about it. It's definitely a power high of some kind. It's also a bit scary.

Luckily it doesn't happen often, maybe once or twice a year, but I do usually feel awkward enough after the fact to not tell anyone about it. At the same time I've always really wanted to tell people of my occasional disproportionate everyday villainy, so... What the heck. Now you know. 😇

#not gf

[angels-heap]

if ur still doing these: 🔥gordon, 🔥barney, 🔥alyx, 🔥any other character you'd like to talk about? (don't have to do all of em if u dont wanna lol)

Woo! More unpopular opinions:

Gordon: While I totally respect people who enjoy “feral Gordon” headcanons and I am aware that that kind of response is well within the realm of possibility for someone who’s been through that much trauma, I'm personally not a fan of that characterization. Might be because I associate it with the reddit dudebro-type fans who refuse to see any nuance in the HL story or give the characters emotional depth, so perhaps I’ll change my mind over time as more not-awful HL fans embrace feral Gordon, but it hasn’t happened yet.

Barney: Aside from the fact that he’s not a fucking cowboy southern gentleman soft boy (further reading: my various rant posts on the subject), I’m gonna confess that even though he’s arguably my favorite character to explore in fanworks, I can’t really stand him in-game. His voice lines grate on me and his AI is weird. Every time I’m forced to interact with him in canon, I’m just like, “you’re lucky you’re cute, you annoying bastard.”

Alyx: I’m not as offended by her slightly impractical clothing choices as I often feel like I should be. Yes, her shirt’s probably a little too short because Valve had to sneak a teensy bit of gamer bro eye candy in there, but really... it makes sense that casual civilian clothes would be hard to come by, so maybe she didn’t want to part with it, even after it got a little too small. Plus she can be a little sexy, as a treat, because hello bisexual awakening. Also, I think she’s a great character and I don’t feel compelled to kill her off to make room for freehoun. That shouldn’t be an unpopular opinion, but... here we are.

Bonus!

G-man: I don’t think he’s some sort of one-dimensional evil thing with uncomplicated, objectively cruel motives, but you are also never, ever, ever going to convince me that he has any sort of interest in Alyx beyond an employer-employee dynamic. She has a biological dad and like 3 honorary dads already. She doesn’t need any more, and she’s not gonna find one here.

Eli: I like his argyle sweater better. So sue me.

#asks #tomiyeee #thank you I am very much in the mood for these today #this kind of turned into my fandom/fanon pet peeves but oh well

[wolfcrunch]

mirko seems like what i envision bakugou to be when he grows up (with variations, my variation is that he becomes more sharp and observative, mirko seems to be radiating a lot of kinetic energy like someone who got no time to listen "bye gotta go" lol). and the funniest thing about that is that the same dudebros hating bakugou are now salivating over mirko and how thicc and feral she is when you can make panel comparison between them and it's same energy lmao

YEAH LIKE. these two have the EXACT SAME ENERGY and im living for it??

the expressions...the fast movements...just how powerful they both seem to be...

bakugou haters, if you’re out these thirsting over miruko????? bakugou has been RIGHT THERE for the entire series. cant believe you’d do my boy like this

thats why bakugou working with miruko would be so good too,,,,,,,,,, he could learn from her because they’re so alike to make him a better hero. like how deku could learn from her fighting style,,,,,

but the team up was already in tum so i doubt hori’s gonna put it in the main series,, i can dream

#bnha #mha #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #miruko #bakugou katsuki #asks #anonymous

[minimenace]

Felix live thoughts:

i still don’t get why gabriel, who is known to wear his ring, is polishing both his and emilie’s rings

nathalie smiling at gabe aww

WAIT DOES ADRIEN SHIP NATHALIE AND GABE???

WAVE WAVE

its been a year???

cat song from chat blanc

sitting together, bonding time??

gabriel: i need to tell adrien im hawk moth and its for the greater good - the greatest good id ever get - emilie’s ass

adrien: oh dad i know

gabe: wHAT??

adrien: yeah...you and nathalie  👀 im cool

gabe: YOU FUCKER DONT DISGRACE YOUR MOTHER LIKE THAT

not that adrien knows his mom is even alive smh

gabe, you can’t expect your son to be all hopeful when there’s nothing he knows of to be hopeful for

gabe: bitch get ready cousin you is coming

1 year since emilie ‘went for cigarettes’

adrien: healing  😌

gabe: 

marinette’s first act as class president: class meeting!!!! (plus luka and kagami) we need to cure adrien of his depression

adrien is hallucinating his mom isn’t he

wait it’s his mom’s twin isn’t it

IT IS

amelie and emilie huh

gabe is not “NO get out”

grouch kitten time!!!

felix getting hugged: bitch...fine ok

so felix and adrien’s favorite game as kids was Parent Confusion huh

gabe: how dare you shake my hand

felix: how dare you not shake my hand

so gabemilie wedding rings were from her family

emilie’s maiden name was NOT agreste...bitch no im DYING with this headcanon

felix whats to know what the FUCK is up with kyle gabriel

marinette...no...do not tell your crush you’re in love with him when you’re trying to console him about his missing mom

ok slightly better

bitch you’re still recording

is this gonna be another copycat where marinette tries to get the phone to delete the message

wait this is LITERALLY another copycat

YES TIKKI GET ANGRY

“I’m really sorry I didn’t come to your dad’s funeral” OH BITCH NOW I GET WHY HE HATES YOU

explains why they’re wearing black

felix with bryce’s voice hits bad

he needs kousei arima...max mittelman...pLAGG

“you do everything your dad tells you to” “oh well yeah you know”

do do do do-dUUHN

adrien and felix used to challenge each other in chess...nerds

plagg: “you’re cousin is being sus BUT HE TOUCHED MY CHEESE THAT UNFORGIVABLE”

plagg: *points out adrien’s mother is* adrien: *gets sad* plagg: oh baby fuck im so sorry

felix i know adrien is complete dumbass but you cannot call him an idiot!!!

wait is felix gonna find out marinette is ladybug because she was recording for so long

wAIT IS FELIX GONNA TRY TO SET UP MARINETTE AND ADRIEN BY DRESSING UP AS ADRIEN AND SEDUCING LADYBUG SINCE MARINETTE IS SUPPOSEDLY LADYBUG

probably not lol

felix fuck you im the only one allowed to make fun of nino’s dudebro accent

felix bby youre not building a good case for yourself by making fun of my babies

also bryce is trying to do a lower voice and he just sounds dudebro

wait is felix gonna rip chloe a new one

YES felix and chloe knew each other

the one time chloe is being genuinely nice for no discernable reason and felix is like “fucker”

well with the season finale we know it doesn’t matter

...annoyinG

FUCK

marinette time bitch lets see what happens im scared

ok thats mean

the writers are trying very hard to make me hate felix but joke’s on them, i’ll never hate anyone on this show

no joke i used to hate theo and call him a pedo and now i’m like “aww poor baby”

wait where is theo i havent seen him around

ok he deleted the videos so immmmmmmmmm hmmm

felix getting ready to cause havoc

ok luka is kind of a joke

*strums guitar* im supportive. this is my personality.

i cant really be mad about felix sending that mean message but adrien deserves to be a feral kitty

fel-ien: i renounce all my friends y’alllll SUCK

me: ...

calls out chloe specifically: NO THATS MEAN but true

marinette: there’s no way adrien can be mean he’s an absolute...aNGEL (how does that meme go)

i mean she has a point because he’d never call chloe out like tHAT

lila spying for gabe seems to be a good thing but im concerned about what gabe will be doing with this video

oh ok they knew it was felix

nathalie: so uh...sir...now’s a good time to um...akumatize some vulnerable kids...

gabe: ok amelie lets see how you feel about THIS akuma attack

gabe getting people to go chase down your “son” is still going to inevitably hurt your son

im fairly certain that max and kim know marinette is ladybug at this point 

*announcer voice* and in the confusion, reflekta, lady wifi, and princess fragrance were deakumatized because they couldn’t figure out who to be mad at

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE FAKE ADRIEN they all shout. “idk what do you think” says adrien 1 to adrien 2

adrien: *starts acting all mean*

punishers: IT MUST BE HIM

nathalie: STOP IT ADRIEN

punishers: wait who

adrien: muwahauwah i wonder who I could BE AJAHAHAHA

felix: bro why the fuck are you covering for me

nathalie get your grove on

hawkie: bitches Y’ALL THAT FUCK ASS IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU

felix: ha...no?

felix: oh well...KONO FELIX DA- LET’S FIGHT

istg if felix has his own miraculous

ladybug saves fel-ien

fel-ien: i love you

activates “smooch”

marinette: *has flashbacks to spook-drien* uhhh no

felix you’re being very menacing about this kiss

ok... i feel like marinette going “NO MEANS FUCKING NO” is a brownie points moment just the entire structure of the scene...also she has no reason to suspect adrien is not adrien, so the punching is just...intensely weird to me

this also feels like astruc trying to be like “FELIX IS THE OPPOSITE OF ADRIEN WHO IS A PERFECT GENTLEMAN AND RESPECTS WOMEN AND THEIR BOUNDARIES” when like um i dunno, adrien ALSO tries to kiss women (ladybug) without their consent but those moments are always treated as comedy so you’re not being very slick with this scene

side note; idk why when a male morally dark end character gets into a fight or something with a girl very one goes “THAT’S SEXIST”, like basically what you’re saying is “you can’t hit girls” which in itself IS sexist. everyone can be punched. don’t fucking hold back.

side note; you shouldn’t punch ANYONE

“You’re not Adrien, he would never be so pushy!” *looks at chat noir* uhhh....

i mean good deduction skills tho? i still think it’s pretty hastily and badly written

adrien is fucking OUTING his cousin lmao

i feel like there was pre-existing tension

felix: is actually ashamed for once

FELIX VISION

lb: great!!! now break the tablet felix: bitch this is some good fucking money i aint breaking it

felix and lila are the moth gang

hawk moth: why felix: uncle give me your fucking jewelry

felix: manipulate the situation...and profit

that has got to be the GREATEST defeat ever...truly lucky

felix looks like he thinks that he’s going to jail

adrien: dude wtf amelie: ...his dad- felix: no dude that was pretty fucked up, ill own up to it

“i hope to become a better person and see you again soon!” this was one concentrated bad incident but yeah ok

FELIX GOING FOR THE HUG

the tone is making me think this is supposed to be inauthentic and he doesn’t mean it but im hoping this isn’t the case.

but if it is genuine, it sounds like there’s a tacked on “learn to be better- from you” which like, yeah adrien is better than felix we get it but you don’t need to emphasis adrien as a model dude when he’s like tier 1 good guy. he’s decent. lmao.

wait felix has always been wearing a ring i didn’t notice

awww felix and gabriel made up.

wait

what even happened between them to begin with.

huh

adrien: aw sHIT CUZ WAIT gabe: nO DAVIC

adrien: if you need to talk in here felix: thanks

astruc: see he’s morally superior

did felix just gift adrien some expensive cheese lmao

felix: hey i feel bad, i replaced your cheese

adrien : *records message to thank everyone and says “i love you”* marinette: *obsessively plays back the “i love you”*

marinette: ill take what i can get

FELIX DID YOU UST FUCKING STEAL THIS MAN’S WEDDING RING I MEAN I KNOW HES MORALLY QUESTIONABLE IF NOT DESPICABLE BUT YOU’RE NOT MUCH BETTER YOU KNOW

so felix really is a magician huh

i feel like him and jean duparc would get along

oh so there’s history behind the rings?

“where it belongs” everyone hates gabe huh. wuh happened

gabe why are you taking your wife’s ring

it’s like he needs that thing to function

the ring: why you so obsessed with me

is it like an anti-nathalie charm or something

gabe: bitch get it together yOU’RE MARRIED, YOU’RE WIFE IS DOWNSTAIRS

the beef is, probably like all things, related to the miraculous

HAPPY END OF THE SEASON!!!!!!

#miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #long post

[honeyandfiregame]

Uhhh he'd probably be like... baby vamp? Like modern, turned super recent, not at ALL ancient like Day or Zenos. And he blunders like alot. Total opposite of menancing, imposing vampire. I mean, until he goes 'full vamp' and actually feeds, obviously. Idk I think he's either super friendly/dudebro geniunely or manipulatively, but I know I CANT picture him as any type of stereotypical/scary vampire. Which MAY work in his favor if he learns to use it to lure people to a false sense of security

Ok, now I really wanna say Koda was just a college kid in the 80s when he was turned, so he’s still a super young immortal. I think Zenos turned him (kind of an oops there, though) and back then Day was like “this kid is gonna get himself staked in no time” because all of Koda’s sense of self was shattered. He was nervous, didn’t like being a vampire, didn’t really know how to be one and constantly needed Zenos’ help so he wouldn’t starve or go feral and expose the secret.

Fast forward over 20 years later, they meet him again and he’s become so comfortable in his skin. He is that really friendly jock everyone knows who’s perpetually in college and still just... kind of a puppy.

But then they’re at a bar, you know, scouting for prey and his whole demeanor changes when he approaches someone. Smoothly buys them a drink and smiles, flashing a fang. Just slight enough to make them wonder if they really saw it, but they’re already hooked. Pulled deeper into his little vampiric web he learned to spin until they’re in the alley behind the bar surrounding by three figures, two pairs of lips on either side of their neck and another pair glued to their wrist, lost in a world of euphoria.

Just three friends have a snack, you know?

[michaelpatrickhicks]

Audiobook Review: Feral by James DeMonaco and B. K. Evenson

My rating: 1 of 5 stars My original FERAL audiobook review and many others can be found at Audiobook Reviewer. I got my first inklings that Feral, by James DeMonaco (creator of The Purge franchise) and BK Evenson, was going to be a troublesome narrative right from the very start. Allie, a high school girl who the male authors want to make sure we understand sleeps in the nude, wakes up to a text message prompting her to click an innocuous link, which ends up taking her to a site where she can watch her best friend having sex. It’s clear to Allie that her friend is being secretly filmed, and she’s awfully gutted over this discovery. Thankfully, after Allie tells her friend that the boyfriend had invaded her privacy, secretly filmed them having sex, and then mass mailed the video to their entire high school, the bestie is totally OK with all this! It’s awesome news, in fact, the bestest thing ever since chocolate and Pornhub. She’s gonna be so popular now, like OMG! And then, on an otherwise completely unrelated note, the apocalypse hits. So, look, I had some issues with Feral. In order to discuss them, I’m going to issue a BIG OL’ SPOILER WARNING FOR HERE ON OUT. Please consider yourself warned. Cool? Cool. (view spoiler)[ The apocalypse takes the form of a bioengineered virus that affects only the men and turns them feral. Once infected, they possess super-strength, super-speed, and are super, super-violent. The target of their rage is any and all women, and faster than you can say GamerGate, these rabid dudebros are ripping apart cheerleaders, attacking teachers, and beating their wives to death with their bare hands. Allie manages to escape the school, and then we cut to three years later, where the world has turned into basically ever single other zombie story ever told. The women keep themselves secluded in camps, occasionally sending sorties out into the demolished towns, where the threat of crazed, killer men lurks around every corner. Feral has an awesome premise, and it could have been something special, something that could have paralleled and spoken to the inequities women face and the abuse some of them endure at the hands of men. And for a little while, it does! There are flashes of insight here and there, moments where I thought the authors were going to strive for meaning and use the horror, as horror often does, to make some kind of relevant social commentary. Unfortunately, this all gets squandered as DeMonaco and Evenson opt to travel far more mundane roads, regurgitating every single zombie trope imaginable, while somehow avoiding so much of the commentary baked into the far better stories told by George A. Romero. While the ferals aren’t exactly zombies, there’s not a whole lot to distinguish them either, and this book is built like a frigging zombie story almost right from the get-go. Allie, for her part, has adapted well to the apocalypse and is a brilliant heroine – she’s smart, she’s tough, and she’s a brilliant tactician. The end of the world suits her and has given her purpose and meaning. She’s a bad-ass feral/zombie killer. Apparently, she also has a sister, but Kim is such an unimportant figure in this book that both Allie and the authors often forget about her entirely. Anywho. Allie’s awesome, an epitome of girl power and a survivor. Never fear, though! There’s still one man in the whole human race who is uninfected, and he’s here to help restore gender stereotypes and save all these women-folk who have been faring for themselves just fine without him for three years now. Once Sam shows up, tough-girl Allie quickly becomes a damsel in distress, one who requires Sam’s rescuing not once, not twice, not three times, but four! Kinda makes you wonder how Allie was able to cope and survive at all lo these several manless years without a big tough guy to keep her safe. Sam’s been abused by women, though, as the search for a cure and the continuation of the human species has brought him into contact with some unsavory survivors. You know how I said there wasn’t any kind of social commentary here? Well, I might’ve been a smidge wrong. Evenson and DeMonaco attempt to, in the grand tradition of zombie narratives, draw some parallels between ferals and the survivors. Turns out that by using their heartless scientific method to try and create a vaccine, the women are little better than the crazed, bloodthirsty men seeking to rape and kill them. Luckily, Sam and Allie have insta-love and his high cheek bones and her thick, lustrous hair just might save the world after all. Fucking really. (hide spoiler)] On the narrative front, Feral is a steaming, mendacious, tone-deaf pile of scat. On the narration front, it’s actually pretty well done and the story’s shifting points-of-view are told by different women. Structurally, this book is also a mess, with some chapters in third-person omniscient and others in first-person, usually for little rhyme or reason, and mostly just because, with occasional narration shift between Allie and Kim, when the authors or Allie can spare a moment’s thought for the poor, burgeoning twelve-year-old actress. The narrators are solid and adept in their readings, and I didn’t find any flaws in their delivery of the material or in the production of the audiobook itself. I just wish they would have had far better material to narrate. Feral is well-packaged and well-narrated, but ultimately it’s just not very good. At its core, it’s essentially little more than poorly done Young Adult fiction strapped into a zombie harness. There are no shocks and even fewer surprises, other than how badly this whole damn mess was conceived and executed. [Audiobook provided for review by audiobookreviewer.com.] View all my reviews

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