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imdowndownbutdefinetlynotout · 6 months

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"Britney Spears knows what it's like to feel trapped: First by poverty, then by fame, then by her family.

She has been subject to scrutiny and ridicule throughout her life. As a teenager, journalists repeatedly asked her questions about her breasts and her sex life. As an adult, she was imprisoned under a conservatorship that stripped her of some of the most basic human rights.

For 13 years, she could not see her two sons without approval. Her driving licence was confiscated. She could not choose her meals, and was forbidden from drinking tea or coffee. When she wanted to have a contraceptive intrauterine device (IUD) removed, her request was denied.

That court-imposed order, overseen by her father, was lifted two years ago, when a judge ruled Spears could make her own decisions again.

But her new memoir, The Woman In Me, reveals that was no happy ending...

Those events cast a shadow over Spears' life story. Along the way, every betrayal and public indignity feels like a step along the path to her eventual incarceration.

It began as soon as she exploded onto the pop charts in 1998. She was an overnight sensation, but the press refused to believe she had any agency. Her songs were written for her, they noted, while suggesting that her public image was created by creepy, salivating older men.

The more she was perceived as a product and a pawn of the music industry, the easier it became to erode her autonomy.

In one of the book's most chilling moments, Spears recalls her father telling her he's assumed legal control of her personal and professional affairs.

His words: "I am Britney Spears now."

The early chapters of the book stress how much people underestimated her.

Spears may not have written her music - but when she was given ...Baby One More Time, she stayed up all night to make sure her voice was "fried, and "gravelly", enhancing the song's yearning maturity.

And when it came to shooting the video, the 16-year-old rejected the original pitch - in which she'd have been "a futuristic astronaut " - and insisted on a high school setting with dancing in the corridors, just like Grease.

Both decisions were crucial to the song's success - but no-one was willing to accept a blonde teenager from a Louisiana trailer park could outsmart the collective brilliance of the music industry.

"No-one could seem to think of me as both sexy and capable," she writes. "If I was hot, I couldn't possibly be talented."

Although she exercised creative control behind the scenes, Spears' publicists infantilised her.

She was marketed as a chaste, God-fearing country girl - even though, she writes, she had been a regular smoker since the age of 14 and lost her virginity around the same time.

At first, however, she toed the PR line...

Eventually, however, Spears' innocent image set her up for a downfall.

In one of the book's most harrowing sequences, she talks about having a medical abortion during her relationship with Justin Timberlake. The pills she had been prescribed left her in agony but the couple were too scared to visit a hospital in case the news leaked. For hours, Spears was curled up, "sobbing and screaming" in pain on the bathroom floor.

"Still, they didn't take me to hospital," she says. Instead Timberlake, "thought music would help, so he got his guitar and lay there with me, strumming it."...

After their separation, she was vilified in the press, with Timberlake strongly hinting she had cheated on him (she says it was the other way round, with "one of the girls from All Saints").

Timberlake has yet to respond to his depiction in the book.

The couple's break-up only increased the appetite for gossip about Spears' personal life. The tabloids hounded her. She recalls a photographer from People magazine demanding she empty her handbag, so they could check whether she was carrying drugs or cigarettes.

Eventually, the pressure became too much. In 2007, reeling from the death of her aunt Sandra and suffering from post-partum depression, Spears marched into a hair salon, picked up some clippers and cut off her hair.

"Shaving my head was a way of saying to the world: [Expletive] you," she writes.

"I'd been the good girl for years. I'd smiled politely while TV show hosts leered at my breasts, while American parents said I was destroying their children by wearing a crop top. And I was tired of it."

We all know what happened next. Instead of being seen as an act of strength or rebellion, Spears' buzz-cut was used as evidence of instability.

Within a year, she had been placed under the conservatorship.

Spears is a straightforward writer. She doesn't embellish or decorate her prose. That matter-of-fact style amplifies the horror of those years.

She talks about being pinned down on hospital stretchers and forced to take medication against her will. At home, she isn't allowed to take a bath in private. Boyfriends are vetted and informed of her sexual history before they can go on a date.

At first, she tries to appease her parents and the doctors. "If I play along, surely they'll see how good I am and they will let me go," she says.

When she considers rebelling, access to her two young sons is used as a bargaining chip.

"My freedom in exchange for naps with my children... was a trade I was willing to make," she admits.

But even while she was supposedly incapable of looking after herself, Spears was sent out on tour, hired as a judge on X Factor and booked for a four-year Las Vegas residency.

The singer, who used to collect receipts in a glass bowl in order to keep track of her taxes, carefully documents the millions everyone else made from those engagements, while she was given a strict allowance of $2,000 (£1,635) per week.

Losing all sense of self, she almost gave up.

"The fire inside me burned out," she recalls. "The light went out of my eyes." ...

It's impossible to read The Woman In Me and not feel sad and outraged on Spears' behalf.

One tiny detail of her new life, in particular, emphasises how grey her world had become. "Now," she writes, "I get to eat chocolate again".

Spears' story is told with the same approachable warmth that made her a star. And, outside the defining events of the last 15 years, she spins a good yarn - whether describing her pregnancy cravings (food and sex, apparently); or reliving her terror at dancing with a snake at the 2001 MTV Awards.

Her family aside, there are no real villains or scandals to be uncovered. But nor are there any great revelations about Spears' music or inner life.

What we are left with, not for the first time, is a cautionary tale about fame and the corrupting influence of money. And, just maybe, a glimmer of hope for a woman whose adult life has been dictated by others.

"It's time for me not to be someone who other people want," she writes. "It's time to actually find myself."

#Britney spears #Britney #feminism #mental health #conservatorship #conservatorship abuse #justin timberlake #kevin federline #2000s #1990 #90s #the woman in me #bbc #free britney #women's rights

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eyooosh · 6 months

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academy's undercover professor AU! VAMPIRE

(Major Spoilers!)

13 years ago... He, Heathcliff Van Bretus is in the brink of death after falling off a huge pit. A follower of lumensis planned on killing the him because some people from the royal family felt threatened by his presence..

The young Heathcliff did not die from the fall but his head is injured and is bleeding excessively...

Heathcliff continued to cling to life despite knowing that no one will help him... maybe by the time there was someone out there, he might have been dead from bloodloss.. Or maybe one of the gods will bless him again, prolonging his life and suffering.

Even if the he healed from his injuries, he'll still be stuck in the deep pit, there is also no food nor water to consume..

His head throbs in pain and his vision is swirling around... The young boy's body is drenched in his own blood, pooling all around him.

Heathcliff stared up above, weakly clenching on a strange piece he found nearby.. His blurry vison saw the moon illuminating its serene appearance just above the deep pit..

It is only for a moment before his sight darkened.. "HoHo. I didn’t think there would be anyone here." But perhaps fate would not allow him to die.

Rudiger Cherish is a quarter vampire.. 13 years ago.. When he was just infront of death's doorstep, Grander found him..

Because of excessive bleeding, Grander then decided to feed him a very small amount of her precious blood from her small, pale wrist...

He healed instantly but it didn't come for free..They made a deal, she will feed him, shelter him and teach him while he will eventually grant her death.The blood he received turned out to have a side-effect on him..

As he eventually inherited her blood after a few nights..

He's an unusual case actually..

His skin became quite sensitive to the sun and consumes blood like his master.. Though he only consumes blood as an alternative method for treating his mana deficiency and fortunately, he doesn't go crazy for blood when he's thirsty...

He is no way near his master, a pure-blooded vampire.

He doesn't have immortality nor the ability to use her blood magic. She stated that he only inherited a few of a vampire's characteristics and is did not became an actual vampire like her.

His fangs are also quite small and less sharp than his master's fangs. They can't penetrate deep enough to tear a nerve, hence his masters frequent teasing of "baby teeth" everytime he brings the topic of drinking blood.

The seal helps him conceal some his vampire traits too.. His vampire traits, fortunately, didn't hindered his abilities.. His vampire blood didn't clash with the divine power and slightly enhanced his dark attribute.

Making him slightly more powerful at night, though only for a miniscule amount, compared to Grander.

===

Ludger received a cup of coffee from Sedina as usual in his office.

"Thank you."

Sedina peeked at Ludger, who is sipping coffee while looking through papers with his rimless glasses.

'Vampire..'

After what happened with the world tree, Sedina became quite closer to Ludger and other U. N. Owens who risked their lives to save her.

She learned how to control the world tree and met her deceased mother once again.

She brought Ludger to her mother and conversed with each other. It got rough first but they talked in the end and her mother even teased her.

'Sir. Ludger has the Bretus royal bloodline and even vampire blood..'

She didn't mean to eavesdrop in their conversation but she heard it because they fought right in front of her.

It is quite contradicting when Bretus is the homeland of Lumensis church and vampires are the devil's children.

Sedina is really curious but it is Ludger's secret, she can't just prod.

"What is it?"

Ludger noticed Sedina's gaze and asked but still not looking up from the papers.

"We-well! Its just... Uh!"

Sedina jumped and stuttered.. She contemplated whether to ask him or not.

"Just ask.."

"Okay.."

Sedina looked at Ludger and decided to just ask.

"About when mother said that sir. Ludger is a.. vampire? Well, you don't have to answer if you don't want to! "

"Ah, about that."

Ludger took another sip in his coffee and immediately casted a sound-proofing spell in the office. He had expected Sedina to ask him about his origins after the World tree incident.

"She is right, i am a part-vampire."

"Oh! Then sir. Ludger, do you often drink blood?"

"Not that much.. I only drink blood as an another method of recovering mana."

"Then do you get burns when standing in the sunlight? Wait, you go out sometimes though.."

"It's not like that..."

Ludger shook his head at the ridiculousness but gave a response.

"My skin is just a little sensitive."

"Oh... Is that why you always wear coats?"

"Yes."

"Then, do you-"

"-I don't like drinking someone's blood."

'Ah, i was about to ask him that...'

Ludger immediately spoke and Sedina awkwardly nodded at what he said.

"Then sir, what kind of blood do you drink? how often do you drink blood? Should i continue giving you vegetables? Ah, sorry that was too much!"

Sedina got too excited and asked more questions, though Ludger didn't mind.

"I drink animal blood once a month or sometimes, a week. Also, the vegetables you give me is fine too."

"Ah-"

Sedina let out a gasp as she absorbed new information about Ludger.Sedina felt like she got a little closer with Ludger for him to answer her question..

Sedina felt another urge to ask another question but the bell rang. The spell he had diminished just a few second before the bell.

"Well, maybe later Sedina.. It's time for class."

Ludger sat up from his chair and went to his class.

Sedina first picked up the class documents before following Ludger.

She felt a little sullen, there's so many things she wants to aks, but there's always a next time.===

#academy's undercover professor #fanfiction #SPOILERS!!#aup #fanfic

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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 1 year

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“But he was my boyfriend!” Sobbed the pretty blonde girl. Marcus Smith, the lawyer for the late Hisashi Midoriya, felt like coughing as he took in the sobbing form of Martha Simpson. A young girl, barely twenty-five, who’d been dating the fifteen year older Hisashi for the past four years.

That was a blaring sign if he ever saw one, yet no one else had apparently batted an eye. Ever.

“And you were not named in his will,” Marcus told her as gently as he could.

“He said I was!” Martha borderline screamed. The customers of the diner they were in gave her sympathetic looks, launching dirty looks at Marcus. The woman next to Martha, a tall and buff darker skinned woman dressed in a sherif uniform looked pained and a little disturbed.

“Martha, please tone it down,” Sheriff Mackenzie Hunt said as she covered an ear. “Look, I know you thought he was a good guy-“

“He was!” Martha instantly yelled. “He was here to care for his dying mother and he had a great job as a Quirk analyst!!” She glared at the sheriff.

Perhaps one person had seen the red flags then.

“Martha, I along with several others have enhanced hearing.” Hunt said, scolding the girl. She pouted at that, tears still rolling down her face. “Now, Mr. Smith here says that you’re not in the will. I’m inclined to believe him. If you were you’d have been contacted-“

“Unless he’s LYING-“ Martha began, though slightly quieter. Marcus was pretty sure that Hunt was known to have one of those mythological based Quirks, Werewolf or something like the town doctor basically was a vampire. Given how the man was wincing in his booth where he’d been drinking coffee, her yelling couldn’t be pleasent.

The door opened then, and a green haired Japanese woman stepped in holding a little curly haired boy’s hand.

“Ah, Mrs. Midoriya!” Marcus said upon seeing her. Martha froze, turning slowly as the customers almost froze in the diner. The owner, a grump named Luce had her mouth almost dropped open. “Good to see you. Sorry for the… public meeting.”

“I don’t mind,” Inko Midoriya replied as she walked in, leading her son.

“You can use ther sherrif office next door,” Hunt instantly said. Marcus only felt relief hearing that. He didn’t want to deal with any huge fall out.

Of course Martha spoke up.

“Are you Hisashi’s sister?!” She demanded. Inko looked her right in the eyes, before sighing.

“No I was his wife.” She looked at Martha with sympathy. “You must be his latest girlfriend.”

“I… what?” Martha said. “No, no he wasn’t MARRIED! He was…” Inko pulled out her phone to flicked to a picture, showing it to Martha and Marcus. It was her and Hisashi in wedding attire. “No, no, no…”

“I’m sorry kid,” Inko said very gently. “But it’s true.” Martha simply burst into tears and ran out, followed by a couple of the customers. Friends probably. Inko shook her head. “Damn it Hisashi.”

“Not the first time?” Hunt asked sympathetically.

“No, he was… well I was his first target. The charming twenty-nine year old man had no reason to date me at twenty-one.” Inko shrugged. “We got married and then when I turned 29 I got pregnant. He stopped even pretending not to be seeing others after that, and for the past six years-“

“So he wasn’t thirty?” Interrupted Luce, obviously listening in. Inko scoffed, shaking her head as Hunt groaned. Marcus himself made a face.

What an asshole.

#bnha #bnha au #wip wednesday #havenfall is for lovers #Hisashi is a bastard #we all hate Hisashi #AU unnamed #just have this

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oxygenbefore1775 · 11 months

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AoT characters as types of poisons

warriors edition!

cw: poisons and all the ways they could (and would) kill; also mention of abortion in zeke's hcs

a/n: as a pharmacy student i also have to study toxicology for some reason so what better way to apply my knowedge than to use it for some hcs; the thing on the divider is citric acid - it's not poisonous, it just looks cool

don't fucking get any ideas from this, it's all harmless fun, pls be reasonable

Annie

strychnine

you're nothing but a pesky vermin to it that needs to be mercilessly annihilated

it's actually been used as a performance-enhancing drug - you know, before people realized how fucking deadly it is

it's very versatile in the way it can enter your system, be it through inhaling it, consuming it or entering you via your bloodstream, even through the fucking eyes, the possibilities are endless

the only thing that's the same is your inevitable death

it's a neurotoxin class, meaning it's destroys the nervous system to the point that your brain can't send signals to the rest of your body which leads to paralysis

complete paralysis of the body, including the breathing muscles

i.e. you slowly die of suffocation all the while your airways are completely free and not blocked by anything and you stay perfectly conscious and aware of the each second you spend uncontrollably twitching

30 mins hardly pass between the first time strychnine enters your system and your death but it makes sure that each passing minute is agony for you

what's worse, there's no antidote against it - you are litteraly doomed the moment you come in contace with it

Bertholdt

acetaminophen aka paracetamol (or tylenol if you live in the us)

a wolf in sheep's clothing

harmless fella at the first sight and is actually nice for relieving different kinds of pain

but it has a dark side

it takes a LOT to get an overdose dangerous enough to kill you

and even then it wouldn't be followed by any symptoms for a whole week - it'd be just sitting there, gathering its strength for one powerful obliterating attack on your system

but when it kicks in, you're in for a lethal treat

your liver is the first to go down and sets off a whole chain of events with your kidneys and pancreas following suit and failing as well

the next thing to happen is that your blood gets too acidic for your body to handle and all the tissue near your blood stream (which is all the tissue in the organism) gets constantly irritated by the acids

the death is long-awaited, devastating and quite painful but it doesn't last that long - once the symptoms kick in, you'll be dead in the couple of hours

Colt

caffeine

a sunshine drug loved by everyone (but mostly young people)

it's everything a tired person could wish for - it energizes, it relieves pain, it gives you strength and motivation to live another day

don't mix it with alcohol though, it's a very bad idea

it basically creates the illusion that alcohol doesn't affect you which causes you to drink even more and you will be even more drunk than usual and a total wreck overall (and the hangover part won't be that nice)

it can't kill you that easily, you'll literally have to consume 70 cups of coffee in one sitting to even be close to death

the most fun symptom of it is eye flashes - not deadly, but definitely annoying

Pieck

nicotine

because zeke likes her :3

highly addictive and causes severe distress during withdrawal

only good for killing insects, pretty useless against people

it's very universal in its entry into the body - nasal, oral, dermal - and each means of consumption has its own perks

will take a lot to even reach an overdose, let alone the one that may be lethal

the worst immediate thing it can cause for you is headache and diziness

sure, it is harmful but you won't see the effects of it until couple of years in the future

but that's how it gets you - by being nice and pleasurable to consume

but - it works very well in combination with other poisons, especially if nicotine has been in the system for quite a long time

any poisons - nicotine prepares the turf for them and increases their effects tenfold

overall, it can be deadly but only with some other poison at its side

Porco

phosgen

it smells very nice (like fresh cut grass or hay)

a perfect warfare weapon

it's down to the earth so there's almost no chance you can escape it - it's moving fast and out there to kill you

its only way to enter the body is through your respiratory system

insidious little fucker as it's colorless and by the time you would notice it, it would be all to late

very-very reactive

basically burns the inside lining of the lungs and causes swelling of the airways at which point you die of suffocation since your body is physically unable to take a breath

it's a bloody death though as the damaged lungs are exposed to capillaris connected to them and as the result your lungs fill with blood that you helplessly try to expell ou of you with irregular coughs

Reiner

quicksilver

once useful and irreplacable, it slowly loses its advantage to the more modern findings of the civilization (just like rei and his armor)

absolutely harmless if consmed orally - you can litteraly eat a spoonful of it and it can do barely nothing to you

but once the heat is on, that's when it gets dangerous cuz it evaporates and that what kills you - quicksilver vapors

even in smal concentrations it can be deadly

one of the most prominent symptoms of quicksilver poisoning are the rosy color of the skin as if you were blushing and isomina

when the exposure is prolonged, it can cause depression among other things

the other thing is - once it enters your organism it will not exit it, there's no way to remove it, it will stay with you forever

it's not that it can kill you but the more severe the overdose is, the more you would be yearning for the sweet release of death

Zeke

digoxin (like i stated before in the convo with st)

also works a medication, a wonder-drug that's very versatile and can help with almost any heart disease

it's also used in abortions (how fitting)

it has a side-effect of enlarging breasts, be it female or male (lol)

a deceiving little fucker - you have to be very careful in order not to overdose and the intoxication can be chronic and proceed over the months

very intricate, it affects the body on a less than cellular level and fucks with the mechanism as sophisticated as electro-cardial processes of your heart

its main mechanism is inhibition, i.e. it litteraly doesn't let your body function at its normal rate, it controls you from now on

it strikes your heart first of all and you're litteraly left at the mercy of this traitorous drug as it controls your pulse

after a long torture where this drug constantly either accelerates or slows down your pulse

heart is all the flutter because of it, to sum up

the death is less-likely to happen but everything before that would be a fucking torture and you'll be surely living in misery

but one day it will stop your heart

feel free to request if you wanna see other categories of characters like 104th or the veterans - im open to ideas; ik it's pretty grim but it makes my monkey brain happy

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stormxpadme · 6 months

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Whumptober 2023 No. 14 - Flare

Scogan Bingo challenge Soulmate: You feel the same sensations your soulmate is feeling (pain, touch, sexual)

Since it was Jean's death, to blame for triggering this whole thing in the first place, it wasn’t too extraordinary that at first, no one, including Scott and Logan, even noticed.

Hell, they'd just lost a woman they had both loved, each in their own way; of fucking course, they felt similarly shitty in the few days following the clusterfuck that had been Alkali Lake. None of their teammates, or of the children and teenagers at Mutant High, expected anything different from either of them than locking themselves up in their respective apartments right now.

Well, Logan for his part would at least not have put it beyond that obsessive asshole he was calling a team leader to dive back headfirst into his work immediately, admittedly. Or to train himself to death in the Danger Room.

Anything just to forget the same pain that Logan was drinking away in his living room in a not much healthier way, with one bottle of the hard stuff after the other on his lips. Silently, mostly unmoving, ignoring occasional headaches and rare bouts of nausea behind his forehead as his healing factor was, curiously, slightly busier than usual dealing with that auto-assault.

But … no. Judging by the few shy status updates that Marie was giving Logan whenever she came by uninvited with a tray of the most necessary carbs and coffee, Scott, at least until the morning of the funeral planned, was indeed barricading himself in that flat on the other side of the hallway. From time to time, he was giving the other residents a life sign by picking up, unseen at night, one of the water bottles from the otherwise untouched supplies that the other X-Men or the pupils kept leaving outside his door. No one had seen him since that quick trip to Washington after the Alkali Lake crisis but whenever an especially bad bout of memory and regret hit, Logan could hear the guy hurl some shit against the walls or sob particularly uncontrolled.

He was mildly confused every time how much that hurt from someone whom he suddenly found, he wasn’t loathing half as much as he'd used to anymore. Dwell on that, he didn’t for now, though; for that, he was far too busy screaming into his own pillows and questioning all his life choices. And make it to the bathroom as gracefully as possible every now and then, in spite of some weirdly intense dizziness in his head, as if drinking for a week nonstop was too much even for a feral. Getting rid of whatever body fluid even his robust system couldn’t just sweat out was all he could bring himself to for now, before going back to nursing the next drink. Not like he could have gotten up to much right now anyway, with that bitch of a headache. Which was just as well. Logan wasn’t the type to sit down in a black tie in a row together with other mourners and listen to speeches about a dead person from people who surely hadn’t even known Jean well enough to be qualified to hold one. He would have stayed the fuck away from that ceremony in the backyard either way. Accordingly, only a warning, dismissive growl came from his lips when Ororo entered his apartment without even knocking, signaling him with an unambiguous gesture to get off his ass, while Logan's enhanced senses could pick up in the distance that everyone was gathering in said garden. "'m not coming, so fuck off. I don’t do funerals."

"I don't give a shit what you usually do." Ororo only smiled bitterly when he winced at the expression feeling too crude for someone always looking and expressing themselves so ethereally. A gesture that dug deep lines around the downward-pulled corners of her mouth that Logan had never noticed before. Alkali Lake had let everyone – except for him, naturally – age 10 years or so. "Will you get up voluntarily or do I need to douse you with some rain? Honestly, the way you smell I'd do us all a favor."

"I said I'm not …"

Logan paused with a frown and tensed when the familiar bright voice of the mansion's leader from a certain apartment next door suddenly shouted Ororo's name, in an unusual breaking, upset tone. Charles had apparently tried the same job Ororo had come to Logan for … And whatever the guy had found in what had once been Scott's and Jean's apartment was obviously off.

With a curse, Logan jumped up when unexpected, bone-deep worry surged through him, cursing himself for not checking in person on that goddamn idiot over there at least once in the last few days. Maybe Scott was in a far worse condition than they'd all thought after all and had decided to try and end that miserable existence of his while everyone was busy in the garden … Logan didn’t get a chance to check because he suddenly had to hold on to the sofa backrest, his legs almost giving in under him as that weird dizziness and throb behind his forehead returned, too strongly to follow Ororo's hectic footsteps outside. Fuck, alright, no more vodka, at least for a few hours … How much his body was really betraying him for some reason, he only realized when an inhumane, gruesome pain like a blade to his guts suddenly hit his right upper belly, so strong that it got him to his knees at last, with strangled groans on his lips. What the …? Anyone not familiar with the characteristics of ferals would probably have told him now that it served him just right, after drinking basically his weight in booze for a week, that his liver threatened to give in on him out of the blue, only that didn’t make any fucking sense …

"Logan, we got an emergency. You need to take Scott …" Ororo, on her way back inside his apartment, froze on the spot when she saw him cowering there on the alcohol-stained carpet with a grimace of agony on his lips, clutching both his side and his head as he was trying in vain to breathe through whatever the fuck was happening. A look somewhere between utter bewilderment, a hint of amusement, and growing shock had the color drain even more from that beautiful face as Ororo covered it with one hand, slowly shaking her head. "You gotta be kidding me …"

Logan didn’t get around to asking what kind of fucking epiphany the woman thought she was having. Another stab into his brain as if he'd attacked himself with his own claws drew a scream from his lips while something in his belly felt like it was exploding, and suddenly the world went black.

*****

"If this is your idea of humor, Windrider …" Technically, Logan had been feeling significantly better upon waking up. The explanations as to why that was, both from Ororo and from some weird blue furry guy who was in the process of moving into Mutant High to take over Jean's medical duties, apparently, immediately made him nauseous again though. Not to mention the insignificant little detail that he couldn’t even have gone up from that damn medical stretcher to try and run and hide from what he'd just been told, even if he'd been willing to leave Scott alone in the sick bay with two apparently clinically insane people. Exhaustion was sitting in every cell of his body and his mind, making every movement hard work. He was slurring his words, his attempts to wrap his brain around why that was significantly slowed.

And all of that … allegedly thanks to the man in the bed standing next to Logan's. More specifically thanks to the huge IV bags of narcotics that Scott was being hooked to.

This had to be a joke, this couldn’t be happening …

"Do you see us laughing? No one in this house has any spoons left for stupid pranks right now." After checking on Scott's artificially slowed but fortunately steady vitals again that the monitor belonging to all the fancy alien tech equipping these halls displayed, fur guy came to stand next to Ororo. The way, he rested his hand on her shoulder for a moment, squeezing it softly spoke of those two going way back. Sharing many of Logan's feral characteristics, Hank must also be smelling the growing exhaustion in Ororo, a lack of proper nourishment, and especially the tears trying to come to the surface again and again. The woman wasn’t grieving any less than Scott and Logan did, and that their embarrassing little health stunt had made another delay of the funeral necessary surely didn’t help start processing the recent tragedy.

Logan was feeling sorry for her but with what was about to wreck his life harder than one of Ororo's hurricanes all of a sudden, he didn’t have emotional energy left for comfort right now. "You guys just told me I'm trapped in a forced marriage, so forgive me for calling bullshit on some pseudo-science fairy tale, King Kong."

"No one's forcing anything on you." Apparently sensing, Logan was feeling honestly more upset and lost by the second, Ororo changed from her chair to the bedside after giving Hank's paw a brief squeeze, and gently took Logan by both shoulders, effectively stilling his weak attempts to sit up even a little. When she bent over him, she scrunched her nose, blinking rapidly, for a second, causing Logan to make a mental note about maybe visiting a bathroom soon for something else than relieving himself after all. "Try to lie still, please. As long as we have to keep Scott under, your body won't let you go anywhere either. I'm sorry this is happening to you two, Logan, I mean it. No one saw that coming or could prevent it. It's fate, accident, a higher power, call it whatever you want. No one knows. The reason you haven’t heard about soul bonds before is that they're so rare, we didn’t even have an entry in our database of phenomena so far. If I didn’t happen to know two cases from my African homelands, we might not even have realized what's wrong with you two before it would have been too late. As this is a one-in-a-million thing, there's no records and hardly any science on it. We're basically flying blind here. You two are bonded in your minds now; that much we know. And as far as anyone knows, that condition is irreversible. But whatever you make of it, is only your choice."

"Some kind of choice." Logan snorted and turned his head away from the compassionate look in Ororo's dark eyes because he wasn’t sure he could deal with pity right now. Now his gaze was right back on that tall but worryingly thin shape on the neighboring bed, and that wasn’t much better. He wanted to be pissed at this guy just for existing more than ever. Yet he tried in vain to conjure up the same childish rage from the beginning at someone who was so damn different from him … And yet, not least when it came to their job and their protective instinct regarding those close to them, at the same time so very similar. Logan had never managed, not before Alkali Lake and especially not after Jean's death, to make any sense of how his feelings about this man had changed with time, into something that went far beyond respect for a strong leader. Into something that, at first glance, by the usual boring, standard social morals, hadn’t seemed to fit his affectionate yearning for Jean at all. And now he sure as fuck knew even less how to deal with Scott. "What choice do I got when you're telling me, he and I would probably be killing each other if we just ignore this? If I wanted to fuck off from here again for example? What do you think would happen then, if we feel everything in our body of what's going on with the other? I'm stuck here now, 'Ro, you know that as well as I do. Whatever plans I had for my own life, for finding my past, it's all fucked."

"Stop it with the doomsday funk. That's not like you." Ororo only grabbed his shoulders even harder to make him look at her again, and Logan could have sworn to see Scott slightly startle even in his induced sleep from the touch apparently indeed mirrored in the guy's mind. This was some fucked up shit, goddamnit. "I told you, we don't know anything for sure. But one of the theories is that telepaths are either knowingly or accidentally responsible for causing such phenomena with their powers. Which, by the way, you two might be contemplating once Scott is back to his feet. Maybe you can think of a certain someone who was trying to give you two a gift in her last moments alive, consciously or not." For a moment, Ororo's voice threatened to break but she put herself together when it was Logan this time, clumsily reaching for her hand on his arm. "I'm just saying, if this is a telepath thing, we happen to have one of the leading authorities on the subject in this house, you know. Charles already offered to engage in as many mental sessions with you two as is necessary until we get to the bottom of this. It's possible that with time, he can cut the bond. And until then? I'm pretty sure, with how fond that idiot over there is of you for some weird reason, he won't say no if you ask him for the occasional road trip to hunt down leads."

"Yeah, I'll pass on that until I educated the guy on bearable tunes," Logan gave back with a weak grin, an exaggerated shudder at the memory of a certain CD in Scott's car.

"Driver picks the music," Ororo reminded him with a weary chuckle, obviously glad, he could at least find something like a smile in him again in spite of the shitty situation. "For now, all you two need to do is take care of each other physically. What you make of that in the long run … If you can find it in you to explore what Jean might have thought could be between you there … That's only up to you guys. We'll help you with anything you need as much as we can, that at least I can promise you."

Logan ran a still very heavy hand through his hair with an absent groan, not even close to sort out the emotional chaos in his head yet. But since he had to anyway, he might be getting at least a little closer to trying now. Starting with that he'd be obviously obliged to be a lot more informed about the sick bay file of one Scott Summers than he'd ever cared for. "You can start by telling me why exactly I'm lying around here as if Rogue's just kissed me unconscious instead of spending another evening with my best friend Vladimir on the sofa."

"Yeah, about that." Hank cleared his throat with a scathing look distorting his animalistic features. "No more benders unless you two are both on holiday and you've cleared with Scott that he's okay with spending hours knocked out on the sofa. That your healing factor can deal with an amount of booze that would kill anyone else doesn’t mean he will be okay with being forced into a delirium without even touching a single glass."

"Yeah, well, tough shit, I'm not becoming abstinent because someone can't hold their liquor," Logan grumbled, fully knowing already that he wouldn’t be touching the same amount of alcohol anytime soon. Mostly because Scott was a lot more fun to spar with, both with words and in the gym, when he was of a sane mind. "Besides, you said, what we're feeling from each other is only sensation and not the actual cause, so it obviously wasn’t me who knocked Scooter out by accident. Wanna tell me why you really got him on a dozen needles?"

"Drug overdose," Ororo answered for Hank, surprisingly sober for a tidbit that punched into Logan's stomach like a steeled fist, trying to stir up that guilt again that he hadn’t checked on that stupid idiot across the hall in time. "Not what you think," she added immediately, to his relief, squeezing his hand again firmly. "I don't suppose you happened to wonder why you suddenly can’t hold your liquor anymore?" She demonstratively tapped her forehead with two fingertips, nodding jerkily when Logan's eyes went wide. "It's a flare of the particularly nasty kind. We think it's Jean's death that caused it. Intense emotional stress tends to cause mutation gifts to evolve. In Scott's case, that always means that his optic blasts are growing even more powerful, and that's always bad news. Since he can't control it and his shields need to hold back his powers all the time, there's basically nonstop pressure from the recoil on his brain. That's always been a problem. I don't know Scott other than on his weekly Advil ever since we met. But right now, the pain must be unbearable enough that he's almost shredded his liver to pieces with those damn pills. Nothing that Shi’ar medicine and tech can't fix, but unless we want to give him a complete physical overhaul to prevent organ failure every half a year or so from now on, we need to find a solution for this, somehow. Charles is already trying to contact the Shi’ar, to see if they have an idea. Unfortunately, with their ships millions of lightyears away, it can take months until such a conversation happens."

"And until then …?" The frown of honest concern and compassion on Logan's face deepening, he finally managed to sit up a little, relieved when Ororo got the silent, slightly embarrassed hint of his eyes darting to the unmoving figure on the other bed, and pulled the stretcher closer so that Logan could rest one trembling hand on Scott's arm. He shuddered instinctively when he felt how much weight Scott really had lost in those last few days alone. No wonder Logan had felt the need to fill his own stomach with as much fluid as possible. Yeah, that definitely wasn’t continuing, for reasons of self-protection alone. It was Logan's job now to look out for that guy … And with time, maybe, he'd be able to decide if that happened only because, while his body was equipped to deal with pain, Logan had never been a masochist. Maybe in truth, it was for a reason, he'd become an integral part of this team in the short time between Alkali Lake and Liberty Island, becoming a living shield, especially for this guy. Maybe it also wasn’t chance that it had been him and none of the others, to hold Scott in the moment of Jean's death when they'd both felt something crucial in their life break away, fall apart … Not realizing, something maybe just as important had been given to them in turn.

"Until then he'll have to try and get by with sensory reduction, as much rest as possible, and every amount of painkillers that his system can take," Hank explained gravely, sounding audibly unconvinced and unhappy with such a makeshift solution. "I can wake him up as soon as the Shi’ar tissue adhesive is done repairing his liver and stomach, and I guess he'll be out of here by the end of the week, but don't expect to see him return to work anytime soon. I hate to say this, but this might be a good time to consider taking over leading duties for either of you two."

"Yeah, not gonna happen, King Kong." Logan didn’t even need to look back at Ororo to know there was a similar look on her face. Neither of them was suited for the front row permanently; this was entirely out of the question. Not to mention that Logan was pretty sure that if Scott was now to lose the only other thing in his life he was so used to obsessing about? The next thing with regard to these shared sensations that Logan would have to witness was his own heart stopping to beat when the guy would throw himself on some sword or cut his wrists. The alternative wasn’t something that exactly thrilled him either … Then again, on second thought, maybe the idea vaguely forming in him right now would at least be a stale replacement for drinking his worries away which was notoriously off the table for the moment. "Those famous Shi’ar drugs you got there, McCoy ... Think there's some painkillers among them that'd do anything for me?"

"With your healing factor? Huh. We'd need to run a few tests, I suppose." Hank paused for a moment, rubbing through his beard with a thoughtful hum, not quite catching on yet what Logan was suggesting while Ororo already stared at him in both bewilderment and a good deal of respect and gratefulness. "You'd still be burning through the substances a lot faster than anyone else, but with an IV big enough … I guess we could get you through a couple of hours. I don't see why you'd need that though. Your body can repair pretty much anything within a couple of minutes, so there's no need to numb anything for you …" He paused, his glance falling on Scott's lifeless shape when he finally understood, and almost dropped the datapad he'd been swiping around on. "Careful there, Wolverine. You keep this up, they'll start calling you a nice guy."

Logan showed the guy an extended middle claw just for good measure and let out a silent curse when he saw Scott startle and stiffen again in his sleep, until the usual burning and stinging from the closing wounds on Logan's knuckles subsided. Well, that made it official: He was forbidden from anything fun from now on. So that was what being Scott Summers was like. Welcome to the experience or something. "Shut it, King Kong. Yes or no?"

"Charles will have to manipulate himself another trust fund just to finance the resupplies of all these extraterrestrial drugs that we're gonna need." Hank tiredly rubbed his eyes behind his narrow glasses for a moment but showed a lopsided grin then. "He's very fond of his current team constellation though so that's probably going to be a much smaller headache than our young captain here is dealing with right now. Come on, Ororo, I think we're needed for an urgent staff meeting in Charles' office. I trust you'll keep an eye on things here for us, Logan."

Logan had another vicious remark on his lips about hardly having a choice in the matter. But it was with quickly increasing resignation he found, amazingly, maybe he didn’t even want one.

*****

The first few days were hell. And that had nothing to do with the constant nausea and annoying fatigue from being hooked to aggressive chemicals for half an hour every morning.

Scott, to everyone's confusion, took the news far more composed than Logan had. Side effect of having been in a relationship with a telepath for years, Logan supposed. At least a mental bond wasn’t exactly anything new for Scott. Plus, the guy was still far too traumatized from Alkali Lake to get his panties in a knot even about making close acquaintance with someone he'd only used to fight with for the better part of their time together so far. Besides, with how blindly the dude trusted that shade bag Xavier still, after everything, he was probably having all his hopes on this annoying condition being reversed someday. Or he had decided that almost offing himself by accident over one life-shattering incident in his life was more than enough for the time being and that he had no emotional capacity right now, lamenting over a couple of inconveniences.

Logan couldn’t even loathe that compartmentalizing asshole enough for being so unfazed, to drown out the growing attachment he felt to him, with every hour they inevitably spent from that day on more. And there were lots of those. Finding a mutually useful working rhythm for their new life situation was about as exhausting as anyone would expect. When everything going on in someone else's body was inevitably mirrored on your own, you couldn’t help but deal with it, explore it, possibly reverse it if it was anything bad. Truth was, Scott and Logan hadn’t talked that much in all that time that they'd been knowing each other. And with each thing, Logan came to learn about that supposedly rich kid douche whom he'd wanted to punch in the face in his first days at Mutant High, he felt more like a fucking idiot.

Thanks to his amnesia, there was obviously not a lot he could return the favor with, of learning about atrocities in Scott's life like teenage drug trades, Essex and a lot worse captivities than with Weapon X. But Logan at least tried not to be a total asshole when Scott unambiguously told him, for example, that one glass of booze at night was more than enough and that he could very well do without feeling like having a heart attack in the gym every day, just because Logan couldn’t control his caffeine intake.

Logan, on his part, quickly cured Scott of the habit of using the damn bathroom far too rarely because not everyone had the height of a damn tree and the bladder size to go with it. Logan's kink list did not include a constant pressure to piss, thank you very much. He also made very sure to drag Scott to Hank every other hour, in spite of all cursing and resistance, whenever Logan felt something else sting, burn, throb in his body that definitely did not belong there and that Scott had never bothered to get checked out in all these years. Those Shi’ar scanners and tools got a lot to do in that first adjustment period.

And no matter how much Scott pretended to hate him for this every time, he never failed to come by Logan's apartment afterward with a six-pack for another evening of watching some game on the couch until they both fell asleep in their respective corner. Their yelling matches in the first three months after Jean's death were legendary, they were told later, but at some point, miraculously? They had sorted it all out.

The fact that at this point, Logan had also basically moved into Scott's apartment because that had simply made things easier, was just a side note in their very personal little soap opera. It never failed to amaze Logan how comfortable he'd become in Scott's presence, so much that he didn’t even really think about it anymore when he fell asleep on that damn couch to the sound of some game or waded into the shower half-asleep in the morning. Which helped to get at least somewhat awake before their usual drug session at the sick bay that was keeping Scott's headaches at a manageable bay for the rest of the day. Maybe, some things, you didn’t need to question. It was a quickly familiar rhythm of recovering, teaching, waiting for good news from Charles' office in vain, and another evening of either a friendly chat on that couch or watching their favorite teams fuck up on TV in comfortable silence, over leftovers or takeout. Something, Logan thought he could get used to in the long run. Accordingly, he didn’t even think about it that much when one of these nights, after the light had gone out, a certain natural urge hit. It was honestly surprising that this hadn’t happened before, given his feral instincts were usually very basic in that regard, just like about every other natural body function. With all that had happened lately, Logan had mostly just ignored the thought whenever it had come up, too exhausted or busy or both to follow it anyway. But feeling something like peace again after all the excitement, maybe for the first time in years, even, he found on that night, lying alone in the dark as so often, he was too riled up to fall asleep. He wasn’t too shocked anymore at contemplating if that maybe had to do something with walking into the bathroom to a stark naked Scott in the shower by accident earlier. That wasn’t a bridge either of them was even remotely ready to cross yet, and Logan had never been in a hurry about such things anyway. But denying that it was a remarkably attractive piece of behind on his mind right now, that he'd spotted there before creeping back out the door silently, would have been a lie. Or a, thanks to some resumed training very well-defined, broad shoulder line. Those sinfully long, strong legs … Definitely a nice image to recall when Logan slipped one hand into his loose sweatpants without thinking much about it, not surprised at how hard he suddenly was. This wouldn’t take long. Moving his fist up and down his aching length with his eyes firmly closed, he allowed himself to indulge in a fantasy he was no longer shying away from, of what would have happened if he hadn’t sneaked back out earlier, if he'd joined Scott in the shower instead, maybe … Exploring that attractive body with his hands and tongue, licking off every drop of water while he went to his knees for the guy, ever until that cute piece of ass would be right in his sight. A twitching, untouched hole just waiting to be devoured with his tongue while his hand would be busy, playing with those heavy, large balls …

"How about you get into my bed and we continue things there before you make us both come early, Claws?"

That low, hoarse voice from the direction of the bedroom had Logan startling so much, he promptly almost fell off that stupid sofa. Tearing his hand away from his straining erection, his cheeks were suddenly a bright red as he realized how thoughtless he'd been for a moment, not even considering that yes, of course, Scott would feel that too. Not the touch itself, not that, thankfully – not from their own hands, at least. That part at least, their connection had spared them. Which was not a given, as they'd found out painfully in the very beginning, during a sparring session in the Danger Room with the others. Neither of them was a very tactile person on principle; therefore, that every touch from someone else on their soulmate, they would experience themselves, too, hadn’t occurred to them until then. Not before the first full body check from a fully metal-encased shape ramming Scott's, promptly sending Logan flying to the ground from the pain as well. After that, they'd known better than not keeping their distance from people even more than before. That surely most inconvenient part of their connection though did not affect what they did to their own bodies themselves. So Logan had been neglectful for a moment, not even considering what kind of sensations giving in to this primitive desire might be causing inside his mate anyway ...

Seeing in the weak shine of Scott's bedside lamp now how flushed the guy's cheeks were, hearing him breathe slightly faster and irregularly, and spotting a definitely very interesting-sized bulge at the front of his night pants, Logan decided, maybe that had been one of his more sensible decisions lately.

Never bothering with a verbal answer, he got up and swung over the back of the sofa, more stumbling in his sudden hurry to get to Scott than walking. Ignoring the slight stinging on his own scalp as he buried both hands in his mate's hair, he pulled Scott down to him for a desperate kiss, moaning in need when he felt against his stomach how hard his lover was already, the air heavy with a hint of sweet salt and both their labored breathing. His tongue deeply slipping into Scott's mouth, Logan found with exasperated amusement, he needed to dial down on the cigars because the guy definitely tasted a lot better than he did.

But Scott didn’t seem to mind a lot, willingly opening his lips for him to let him in. Already, large, impatient hands stroked under Logan's shirt, raking through the fuzz on his chest, massaging and groping everywhere they could reach. A whimper came from Scott's lips when his fingertips found Logan's nipples and tugged, harshly enough for Logan to make a note about how rough his lover apparently liked it in bed. Then he startled with a sigh of pure pleasure as Logan bit down on his lower lip in retaliation, almost hard enough to draw blood. "Fuck … Need you … Want you, Logan …"

That last part, that was the important thing. That was what Logan had maybe needed to hear to act on these long-simmering desires. Because that they needed each other was clear ever since the day they'd been bonded, and neither of them had asked for that. But how much, how quickly and intensely they'd fallen for each other after that, that had been only their own decision. And now that Logan knew it had indeed been a mutual one, he was more than ready to finally give in to that wish to take their connection to the next stage. Unable to wait any longer, he dropped to his knees, casually pulling down Scott's pants as he went, his mouth already on that fine dark layer of hair on the base of his destination as he inhaled his lover's grounded scent deeply, his fingers clenching down on that beautiful ass just as he'd fantasized about it a minute ago. Logan had to try hard not to come on the spot when he immediately experienced that dominant hold on his own body – that was definitely something he still had to get used to in spite of all experiences of a similar kind in the last few months. Finally getting his mouth on the head of his lover's thick cock made it torture to hold back as he felt his own straining length worshipped with long, greedy licks, the pressure of a curious tongue, of tightly working throat muscles as he easily swallowed that beautiful piece of cock down, holding Scott in place by his grip on his lover's hips. Just imagining what it would feel like once he'd actually get around to playing with this perfect ass, to bury himself in that tight channel to the hilt, had Logan's head spin. He was pretty sure, there would be a lot of rings of a certain kind involved in the immediate future for such encounters, to keep his peculiar feral stamina from ruining things half a minute in, thanks to that assault of sensations from two sides at once … But for now, none of that counted. For now, he enjoyed simply his partner's taste on his tongue. The way, Scott was shaking and writhing under him and the pleading sound of his name on his lover's lips as Logan's hand was firmly closing down on the root of his cock, his balls, keeping both himself and his mate from coming too soon at the same time. With his head quickly bobbing back and forth, his tongue darting forward to tease Scott's loins, the underside of his cock again and again, Logan found every lingering anxiety and grief for everything that he'd lost in his life subside at least for the moment, drowned out by that double sensation of basically sharing one body with someone else. Something that he'd dreaded so much in the beginning and that now gave him an unexpected kind of peace in a period of his life when war was once more around the corner every single minute. When he finally loosened his grip around his lover and thrust his head forward tightly once more, swallowing firmly around Scott's jerking cock until he could feel his lover come straight down his throat, while spilling his own load all over his hand and the floor, Logan decided that maybe, Scott and he didn’t even need to worry that much about if Charles would ever make it to separate them again.

*******************************************************************************

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waywardxrhea · 1 month

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Chapter 3 - Good Grief

What happens when you lie to the Devil? How long can one woman keep a lifetime of secrets from the Devil of Hell's Kitchen? The answer may surprise you...

installment list

pairing: Matt Murdock x enhanced!fem!OC

series content: coffee shop AU, fluff, humor, friends to lovers, pining, language, canon typical violence, angst, drinking, implied smut, medical emergencies, mental health disorders (PTSD, panic disorder).

"my pain's a testament to how much you meant to me. i know it wouldn't be this hard if it wasn't good grief" - good grief, leanna firestone

word count: 3k

Crystal gets her first job and meets her future roommate. We also get our first interaction between Crystal and Matt!

After a few more days in the hotel and coming to the conclusion that no one from home was after her, Crystal decided to venture out to find a job to keep a low profile at. As she was walking down the crowded sidewalks, a “help wanted” sign hanging on a shop window caught her eye. Making her way closer to the shop she noticed that it was a cozy looking coffee shop called Stardust Brewing Company.

Deciding to take a chance, Crystal pushed open the door and was immediately met with the smell of roasting coffee. She took in the scent with closed eyes for a moment before taking a look around the shop. It was a cozy space with all sorts of mismatched tables and chairs of all sizes littered about the room. There were a couple of loveseats and armchairs in one corner surrounding a low-set coffee table which housed a group of young adults seeming to be deep in thought with books surrounding them.

As her eyes swept to her left she noticed racks of wine beside a handwritten chalkboard menu displaying the variety the shop had to offer. Near the cash register she saw some pastries in a display case that looked worse for wear, but were probably still delicious. Her survey of the place was interrupted as a friendly face behind the counter called out, “Hey, welcome to Stardust, how can I help you today?”

“Oh, hi, I uh, I saw the help wanted sign posted on the window, are you still hiring?” Crystal asked.

“A Brit, huh? You sure you’d be okay working in a coffee joint?” the young woman asked with a bright laugh. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Do you have any experience slinging coffee?”

“Not exactly, but…” Crystal trailed off awkwardly before her eyes landed on the pastries again. “I’m a smashing pastry chef though and I’d like to say that I’m a fast learner. I also know a thing or two about wine if that helps.”

“You’re hired,” the woman said while sticking out her hand for Crystal to shake.

“Just like that?” Crystal asked, taken aback by the informality of it.

“Well considering I’m the hiring manager, yes, just like that,” she replied with a smile. “My name is Raeyes by the way. And you are…?”

“Crystal. Crystal Shaw,” she replied with a warm smile before shaking Raeyes’s hand.

“Great! Very nice to meet you Crystal! I look forward to those pastries of yours because, between you and me, Lainey isn’t the best at making them. We were about to just switch to store bought and call it good, but it seems you answered our prayers!” she told her. “Now let's get you some paperwork to fill out and we’ll go from there!”

“Sounds great,” Crystal said, a giddiness starting to fill her chest at the prospect of such a normal job where she could use the skills she got from her mum rather than do what her father ordered.

After filling out all the proper paperwork, Crystal sipped on a cup of tea while glancing at the noticeboard posted by the counter. Her eyes gravitated toward the untouched paper advertising that someone was looking for a roommate. Flashes of American movies and telly shows breezed through Crystal’s mind as she pictured herself having a roommate and doing all sorts of things together like they did in shows like FRIENDS.

Doubt began to creep into her mind though as she thought about why she was in America in the first place. What if her father were to somehow figure out that the O’Hares faked her death and that she was actually hiding away in Hell’s Kitchen? Would they also go after her roommate? After what she pulled with the O’Hares, her father would be out for blood and with how determined of a man he is, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that he would hurt anyone to get his hands on her.

Her thoughts were interrupted though as Raeyes came to collect her paperwork and asked, “You have your eyes on that roommate wanted sign?”

Crystal found herself nodding before she could think and found her mouth saying, “Yeah. I’ve been living out of a hotel since I got here, but that isn’t the most sustainable option…”

“That is very true, especially on a barista’s salary,” Raeyes said. “And neither is living alone in a two bedroom apartment in this city. Which is exactly what I’ll be doing if no one answers that flyer.”

“Oh, so that’s…?” Crystal asked, trailing off toward the end.

“My last ditch effort in finding a roommate to split rent with? Yep,” Raeyes replied. She sighed quite dramatically before adding, “If only there were someone else who needed a roommate quickly…”

“Are you asking me to be your roommate, Raeyes?” Crystal asked with a laugh.

“I mean…” she dragged out, a bright smile teasing her lips.

Once again speaking before she could think, Crystal replied, “Then your roommate I’ll be!” She laughed before saying, “I have a feeling we’re about to become extremely close extremely fast.”

A month of living and working together passed and Crystal found herself closer to Raeyes than she ever was allowed to be with anyone else back in London. They built their friendship on sharing cultural traditions, complaining about customers at work, and different food and wine pairings they were both fond of. Crystal had spent Christmas and the New Year with Raeyes and her family, and was already being called a second daughter by her mother.

Crystal knew practically everything about Raeyes after quite a few drunk nights together, and Raeyes knew everything that Crystal was willing to share. When talking about London, her family life, and her past relationship she always kept things vague so she didn’t have a guilty conscience about lying to her roommate, but trying to be vague about why her relationship with Kit ended was hard.

So on nights like tonight when Raeyes went out with some guy that she met at the coffee shop, Crystal always opted out of a double date, citing, “It’s still too soon after my last relationship, I’m not ready to start dating again, Rae…”

Thinking about Kit always broke Crystal’s heart and the only way she knew how to take away that sting was to go out and help people who needed saving. It was her way of honoring Kit, because she would be damned if she let anyone else end up like he did…

While out that night, Crystal kept an eye on the route she knew Raeyes would be taking home, just to make sure that she got there safe after the date. While watching the route, she heard a woman shouting, “Get your hands off my purse! Help! Someone!”

Taking that as her queue, Crystal checked that the coast was clear otherwise and pulled the balaklava over her face, walking toward the situation. As she passed the confrontation, she activated her powers as she stepped near them, causing a large rift to form in the ground between the man and woman. “What the-?” the man yelped in surprise, loosening his grip on the purse.

As she turned between the nearest two buildings, Crystal stomped the ground and punched the air, causing the debris to go whizzing right past the man’s face. The distraction this caused was enough for the woman to take off running in the opposite direction with her purse safely tucked under her arm.

Before the man could come to investigate who was behind the rock attack, Crystal quickly laid her hand on the ground and returned it to its original state and used her powers to form a pillar that boosted her up onto the building.

She stayed out for a little while longer that night, at one point having used her powers from up on a fire escape to blindside a man who had run from the police into an alleyway. After incapacitating the man so he could be taken into police custody, she jumped down from the fire escape, landing a bit rough on her feet. As she did, she felt her heart skip a beat before going into overdrive inside her chest. The adrenaline already pumping through her veins made everything tenfold worse than when she usually had an episode and she found herself stumbling toward the brick wall trying to hold herself up as her peripheral vision began to narrow. Crystal turned her back to the wall and sunk down it, taking deep breaths for a few minutes until her heart finally kicked back into a normal rhythm.

After she recovered, she began the trek back to the flat, cursing her body for how often it’s been giving her episodes like that since she moved to New York. Sure, the stress had been a lot and she didn't sleep well most nights, but she thought she had it under control for a while back home…

When she returned to the flat, she saw Raeyes sitting on the loveseat watching TV with a bowl of ice cream. “Hey girl, where’ve you been? I didn’t want to head off to bed ‘til I knew you were safe,” she said as she paused her cooking show.

“Oh I just went out to the gym, it helps clear my mind,” she replied casually as she hung her keys on the board by the door. “How was the date?”

Raeyes shrugged and replied, “It was okay I guess. He seemed more interested in talking about coffee than anything, there was literally no other common ground. Needless to say I don’t think I’m calling him back.” She took another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and finished it before adding, “Actually, the most interesting part of my night happened afterward.”

“Care to share? Or do I even want to know?” Crystal asked with a laugh as she made herself comfortable on the couch.

“Not like that! Not this time,” Raeyes said, giving Crystal a playful punch on the shoulder for the comment. “Anyway, when I was walking home, I swear I saw someone break the sidewalk with their feet? Maybe it was just a coincidence, I don’t know. They were passing a man trying to rob this woman and as they did, the ground between them split and that’s how she got away.” She laughed lightly before adding, “It also looked like they threw a rock at him from in an alley. If it was really them that caused it, it was badass, but…”

“But what?” Crystal asked curiously when silence filled the room for a few moments.

Raeyes shook her head and said, “It just worries me that this person could be another wannabe vigilante who’ll just get people hurt. If they can cause rifts in the ground like that, who knows what else they’re capable of!”

“Another?” Crystal asked, trying to play dumb.

“Well yeah, like another copycat Daredevil. You know who Daredevil is right? The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen? Surely I’ve talked about him before, he’s only the hottest man in the Kitchen. I don’t even have to see the rest of his face to know that!”

Crystal feigned ignorance and said, “I can’t say I know who you’re talking about.” Raeyes’s jaw dropped for a moment before she began pouring into a whole spiel about this masked vigilante who has been involved in the takedown of multiple drug gangs in the Kitchen as well as of a man named Wilson Fisk who was the head of all the corruption.

“Thing is though, there have been a couple of men who have tried to be what he is and take justice into their own hands, and… a lot of people died because of it. The first man killed a lot of gang members that he claimed deserved it, but the other one… He killed anyone who got in his way. My cousin was one of them…” Raeyes said sadly. “The man that killed him dressed up in the same suit Daredevil used to wear and anyone who tried to stop him ended up dead, including innocent hotel workers like my cousin.”

Crystal covered her mouth in shock at the revelation and whispered, “Oh my God I’m so sorry, Rae… That must have been really difficult for your family, I know how close you all are…”

“Thank you, it was,” she whispered, wiping a tear from her cheek with the sleeve of her hoodie. She took a deep breath before saying, “So that’s why I don’t really trust the vigilante type anymore. The only reason I trust the real Daredevil is because I know that he’s never killed anyone.”

“I understand yeah,” Crystal replied with a nod. “Well maybe this person you saw is a good one too.”

“Here’s to hoping,” Raeyes said with a toast of her ice cream spoon.

One cold and rainy day in late January, Crystal and Raeyes were working the morning shift at Stardust. As Crystal emerged from the kitchen with a fresh batch of pastries, Raeyes motioned out the window with a laugh and told her, “Your sidewalk sign’s a hit today. It’s bringing in the crowds.”

“Yeah, I think that might actually be because of the weather,” Crystal countered with a laugh as the bell on the door jingled signaling an incoming customer. “Welcome to Stardust, we’ll be right with you!” she called to the group that consisted of three well dressed individuals.

After wiping off her hands from the pastry glaze, Crystal made her way to the register and smiled before asking, “Welcome in, what can I get started for you all?”

“I’ll take a caramel latte,” the tall blonde woman replied. She turned to her friends and asked, “Matt? Foggy?”

“I think I’ll have an Americano and one of those pastries,” the man with the lighter hair said. “Are they strawberry?”

“Strawberry rhubarb. Just came out of the oven not too long ago,” she replied.

“Even better! And can you make that Americano extra strong? We’ve got a long day ahead of us and our coffee pot just broke at the office…”

“Of course, no problem,” Crystal replied. “Shame about the coffee maker though. Glad to see you all here though, supporting local and all.”

When he was done ordering, the other man who was very attractive and wore red-tinted glasses stepped forward and said, “Just the house roast with organic creamer if you have any.”

“We’ve got organic vanilla bean creamer, does that sound okay?” she asked.

“Sounds great,” he replied, flashing a charming smile her way. The sight unexpectedly made her slightly weak in the knees and hearing his laugh didn’t help when he said, “‘Unattended kids will be given a shot of espresso and taught to curse.’ My friends read me the sign you guys have out front, did you make it?”

Crystal laughed quietly before replying, “Yes actually. We’ve been having trouble with mums bringing in their super rambunctious little ones so I decided to have a bit of fun with the sign.”

“Well I think it’s very clever,” he said as he handed her some cash for their purchase.

“Thank you,” she replied. “What’s the name for the order?”

“Matt,” he replied with another charming smile as he took the change and felt around for the tip jar to drop it into. He then unfolded his cane and began making his way over to where his friends called out his name.

Raeyes turned her head toward Crystal once he was out of earshot and said, “Girl.”

“Yes?” Crystal asked as she began making their order.

“He was totally flirting with you!” she whispered while nudging her in the ribs.

She scoffed lightly before replying, “No, you’re the one people flirt with around here.”

“And now you’ve got the hottest lawyer in the Kitchen flirting with you!” she countered.

“He was being nice,” Crystal replied with a roll of her eyes and a quiet laugh.

“See that smile on your face though? You liked it! And one of these days I’m gonna get you to finally stop moping and go on a date!” Raeyes told her before walking a different customer’s order to them. Crystal ignored the comment and just continued making their drinks.

After the group left, Raeyes gently punched Crystal in the shoulder and asked, “Why didn’t you give him your number?”

“Didn’t you see, two other women gave theirs to him! He’s clearly got the dating thing down,” Crystal replied as she cleaned off their table.

“And don’t you see, those two napkins were crumbled up?” Raeyes asked with a sly tone of voice as she straightened out two napkins left at the table. When Crystal laughed and shook her head, Raeyes sighed exasperatedly and said, “Come on girl! I’ve been trying to get you on a date or at least get laid for months! And all you do is say no and that you’re not ready. What did the last guy do to you that made you not want to date anymore?”

The last question caused something inside her to snap, and a few tears fell from her eyes as she replied quietly, “He died all right? I said it didn’t end well because it didn’t, and…and I loved him with everything I had and I just feel…incredibly guilty even thinking about flirting with anyone because it feels like a betrayal to him.” She sat down to gather herself for a moment before adding, “Kit was the definition of good and giving and innocence and that was ripped away from him. It wasn’t fair and he didn’t deserve to be taken away so soon…”

“Oh my God I’m so, so sorry, Crys…” Raeyes said before dropping her cleaning towel and wrapping her arms around Crystal. “Now I feel like a huge bitch, why didn’t you tell me?”

“It just hurts too much to think about most days, I’m sorry…” Crystal replied quietly.

“No, no, don’t be sorry. For now I’ll give you the space you need, but I encourage you to at least try with Murdock. Rumor has it he’s great in bed, so even if it doesn’t go past a first date…”

“Rae…” Crystal said with a teasing warning tone in her voice.

“Fine, fine, boundaries. I get it. But for real, you better jump on that before I do,” she replied with a laugh before telling Crystal to get herself freshened up in the bathroom.

next chapter

#daredevil #daredevil x oc #short fanfic #marvel #matt murdock x oc #friends to lovers #coffee shop au

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adlamu · 7 months

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here are some things that i have learned in the last ehhh 10yrs of living alone (more or less):

best before = it is at its best until a particular date but is still safe/edible for another 28 days after that date (ie: roughly a month).

use by = it is very unsafe and very, very unwise to eat/drink that thing after the date on the packaging. you will get sick. trust me.

three options for bread keeping: i. keep it in an air-tight container (such as a bread bin), ii. keep half out and the other half in the freezer (and defrost it later), or iii. keep the bread in the fridge at all times - if it's white spots on the crust only, cut the crust off and toast the bread, if it's Green spots, it's been out longer than 2 months and you should throw it away.

bottom shelf is where you'll find the cheapest stuff, usually (can be top, but is usually bottom because the BrandsTM have to be in direct eyeline - ie: the middle).

don't trust a can? sniff test. don't trust the milk? sniff test. if it smells bad in Any way, throw it out.

sugar is fine, it doesn't go off, only throw it out if it Somehow has bugs in it.

salt is the same as above (i've had the same salt pot since 2017, it's fine).

don't buy 8p potato salad - you will absolutely regret it.

if you aren't going to eat a whole thing of something, bung it in the freezer - depending on what it is, it can last anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months (but once you defrost it, you Have to eat it immediately).

put green bananas in direct sunlight so they ripen and then put the yellow bananas in the fridge (this will slow down spottiness process & prevent fruit flies).

if, for some reason, you have noodle seasoning packets laying around, you can use them to enhance whatever vegetable/meat-based meal you are making (it's basically stock).

if you are hungry (and i mean you are in Pain from hunger) you will end up making a meal out of whatever the fuck you have and/or eat something directly out of its container - this is fine, you're eating something and that is more than enough but also: only eat custard, rice pudding, tuna, and stuff like spam out of the can, if it's like chicken or whatever don't do that, you will get sick.

if in doubt: washing up liquid is good for cleaning p much everything (not the bathroom... just use basic bleach for that if you don't have fancy schmancy stuff).

tap water is usually fine (in the case that it is not, buy a HUGE 3L bottle of water).

a bottle of cordial lasts longer than a carton of orange juice (it's not watertok bs, believe me. ribena? godsend. vimto? godsend.).

weetabix/weetbix/wheat bisks is your best bet for cheap cereal - you add a lil sugar for flavour, maybe some fruit, and you can eat it Both hot and cold.

backpacks are best for carrying heavy objects like bottles, save the totes & reusable bags for lighter stuff if you can.

an electric kettle is your best friend - you can use it for (instant) coffee, tea, hot chocolate, instant ramen/pot noodle, instant soup, anything that is 'instant', use the kettle and you will have Something to fill your belly up.

don't overthink stuff - meal prep if you want but don't overthink it, especially if you're living by yourself - you don't wanna plan a whole roast dinner when it's just you, so get enough stuff for 1 person.

yes the cheap stuff is literally the same as the brand stuff (i get it if you're nd and you can only have Certain foods but this is more for the nts), it's not a conspiracy (fuck you shane dawson and your classist fuckery), it's the same stuff because it's made in the same place, usually.

if you're worried about prices, use a calculator on your phone and then you can put back whatever is making your basket/trolley overbudget BEFORE you get to the checkout.

i don't care what tiktok moms or whatever the fuck are saying, you do not need that super expensive brand thing - it's usually got less portions and doesn't last anywhere near as long as you think it does. just because it tastes good doesn't mean it's gonna last you the week/month.

if you can buy it frozen, do so - it's usually cheaper and lasts far, far longer.

ASK FOR HELP. I KNOW YOU ARE PRIDEFUL AND AFRAID OF THE STIGMA BUT ASK FOR HELP IF YOU NEED TO BUY GROCERIES. IT IS OKAY TO ASK. IT IS OKAY TO GO TO THE FOOD BANK AND ASK FOR HELP. IT IS OKAY TO ASK SOMEONE (FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER/SOMEONE YOU TRUST) FOR HELP WHEN YOU NEED IT.

#newtrabble

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randomfanner · 4 months

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Get To Know Your Tav

I found this from @piipaw blog and I wanted to do it too for Anya (and maybe Orion and Calax).

Anya Drakencoat | High-Half Elf | College of Lore Bard | She/Her | Age: Mid to Late-Twenties

What is your Tav’s…

Favorite Weapon: Sorrow - It is a weapon she can use with long reach and also sorrowful lash is a go to bonus action because Shadowheart heals.

Style of Combat: Anya tends to stay back and use ranged spells like scorching ray and also a good amount of buffing.

Most Prized Possession: Her 'Cloak of Many Pockets' - it is like a safety blanket she always has on when adventuring and it carries all of her poems !

Deepest Desire: Friends who aren't going to leave her.

Guilty Pleasure: Anya has found, after the encounter with Abdirak in the Goblin Camp, she is a masochistic. So pain, apparently.

Best-Kept Secret: Anya doesn't actually have any friends. She has co-workers, she had friends, but she has no friends at the start of the game. She is trying to fix that though!... doesn't stay fixed for long it feels though.

Greatest Strength: Very friendly to basically everyone and is always willing to help those in need!

Fatal Flaw: You can do anything to this girl and she will just accept it and forgive you. She will get extremely angry if you are mean to someone else but transfer that behavior to her and she becomes a doormat.

Favorite Smell: The Sea Breeze, not only is it the scent of Baldur's Gate and Home, it is also what her uncle uses to scent himself.

Favorite Spell or Cantrip: Scorching Ray - Pewpewpewpewpewpew Speak with Animals - Anya has found speaking with animals is a great way to get information and always makes sure to greet the day by casting it Enhance Ability - Who wants like +20 to persuasion with advantage? Anya does. Enhance ability makes it happen. (Guidance can be included in this)

Pet Peeve: Anya will fist fight you if you are rude to wait staff at a restaurant. (also lip smacking well eating gets on her nerves a bit)

Bad Habit: Biggest bad habit? Putting others before herself. Minor bad habits? Biting her nails most certainly is one of them.

Hidden Talent: Anya has a deep knowledge of the arcane, she could even rival some wizards with the knowledge she has horded up there.

Leisure Activity: Poetry, it is also how she gets her spells but she just really enjoys doing it.

Favorite Drink: Hot drinks: Coffee. Cold drinks: Apple Juice

Comfort Food: Strawberry Shortcake - there is a bakery in the upper city and the owner, a nice old halfling lady, is rather fond of Anya so every time Anya gets back from a job, she will get a free slice!

Favorite Person: Gale! From the moment he popped out of the portal Anya got excited because she had heard of the Wizard of Waterdeep and oh gods, he is right here! She has so many questions for him and wants to get to know more about him. And when she does well... he certainly isn't what she expected in the best ways. Shadowheart is someone who accidentally gets saddled with Anya because she was nice to her, keeps her from not dying and now has a golden retriever as a human following her around. Anya wants to get to know her but does stay her hand because she doesn't want to be too annoying or pushy.

Favored Display of Affection (platonic and/or romantic): Platonically be warned, Anya is a hugger. She will open her arms and offer a hug quite often when things are getting distressing and will 100% cuddle with Karlach after she gets her heart fixed. Romantically - hugging, kissing, cuddling, most physical affection like that. However she also writes poem and will just slide them over.

Fondest Childhood Memory: Playing and sharing food with her old friend in Bloomburg Park. Anya would like to see him again.

@bg3-stole-my-soul Now you gotta do it.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldur gate iii #bg3 tav #my tav #Anya Drakencoat

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enchantedaloefics · 8 months

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Hobie x Spider-Person Reader (Chapter One)

Hey, this is Aloe! This is like, my second time posting a fic online ever and I'm a little nervous, but I'm having fun writing this. Also I'm super hyperfocused on Hobie :')

Some notes on the fic: Reader insert is mostly referred to with gender neutral terms, but I might slip up and use feminine ones occasionally. Also the MC has chronic pain and migraines because I'm projecting, and is autistic because, again, projecting. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, love you!!

(Also Hobie takes a little bit to show up, like, end of next chapter/start of chapter 3, I'm so sorry :'))

~~Chapter One~~

You pulled your mask down, making sure it was secure over your face before stepping through the portal, your mind foggy and body aching, though you knew your wounds wouldn’t take too long to close- one of the many perks of being a spider-person. And not the only one, as you’ve just learned.

Spider-Woman–or Jess as she introduced herself– tried to explain the basics, but her words flew right over your head. You were still reeling. The multiverse was real! All those theories you learned about in high school were true! But not only that- you weren’t alone anymore. There were others just like you.

The noise immediately hit you like a truck, sharp pain quickly blooming above your right eye, but you’ve learned to push through that pain. You adjusted and looked around, and saw hundreds- no, thousands of other spider-people, in and out of masks, drinking coffee and chatting, working on holo-screened computers, eating in food courts, all in an impossibly large multi-floored building. Your impulse to explore was beyond strong, but your attention was caught before you could wander off.

“Here, put this on,” Jess said, handing you some sort of… watch looking contraption. “Your molecules won’t like being outside of your home dimension, this keeps them in check. Plus it’ll let you open those portals we used back there.”

You nodded slightly, mumbling a quiet “thanks” under your breath as you slid it on, the colors not quite matching with your suit. You didn’t like the idea of letting your molecules get out of whack- you dealt with enough pain already, so you didn’t put up any fuss.

“Um, is there like… housing?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder, hoping to see your universe one last time, but the portal was long gone. You figured it would be a long, long time before you went back.

“Not here, this is more of a central hub. Almost like an office building, if that makes sense,” she turned and smiled at you, her yellow goggles enhancing the happy glisten in her eyes. “But some of the folks here would be happy to open up their homes for you if they knew your situation. You’re, what, nineteen? Pavitr!” She yelled to someone else before turning back to you. “I gotta run, but you two are about the same age, you might get along.”

And with that, she thwipped away, and a boy you guessed was a year or so younger than you ran up after her.

“Yes, Ma’am- oh, she’s already gone. Well, you look new!” he said, a grin evident in his voice, even if you couldn’t see his face. “I’m Pavitr, you can call me Pav.” He stuck out his hand for a handshake, which you quickly returned.

“I’m Sp-” you cut yourself off. Everyone was Spider-Man here, you were supposed to trust these people with your real name. You cleared your throat before trying again. “Y/N. Nice to meet you, Pav.”

“So, how long have you been, y’know?” he mimed shooting webs, making quiet thwip noises as he did so, and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Since I was sixteen, so about three years,” you said, glancing over his shoulder. The group he was talking to were making their way over, and you felt your anxiety spike. You were having to meet so many new people, and reverting into your hero persona wasn’t working, your mind too foggy from what happened less than an hour earlier.

“Nice, nice,” Pav started, interrupting himself with a “Gwen! You have got to meet this dude!” and before you knew it, you felt his arm over your shoulder. You tensed up slightly, something both he and this ‘Gwen’ seemed to notice.

“Woah, hey, you alright?” the girl asked, and Pav quickly moved his hand. You nodded, though you knew it wasn’t convincing.

“‘M fine, I just have a migraine. And, um, I’m sort of…” You tried to find words, but tears bubbled from your eyes, and you were beyond thankful they were covered, though you couldn’t hide the wobble in your voice. “Overwhelmed. This is all too much. Too many people.”

Pav and Gwen shared a look, and Gwen quickly pulled out her phone, typed for a moment, and nodded. You dug your palms into your eyes, both in an attempt to block the tears, and to ease your headache, but it did neither.

Within a few moments you felt a gentle tap to your shoulder as Gwen tried to get your attention.

“Hey, my friend has a great place, he said you can swing by and chill there. We’ll come with, and I can show you how to get there, okay?” Her voice was somewhat soft, and you could tell she was genuinely trying to help. You nodded, and she held out her arm, her wrist tilted so you could see. She typed in a number-138- and a moment later a spotty, hard to look at portal appeared.

Pav was the first to step through, then Gwen. They looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to join them. This inter-dimensional travel was still very new to you, but you knew you’d have to get used to it. You took a deep breath and stepped through, the sound quickly dying our, replaced by quiet radio.

#atsv #astv hobie #astv fanfic #astv fic #astv x reader #hobie brown #hobie x reader #spider punk #This isnt proofread

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teacornerchronicles · 1 month

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Green Tea Comfort: Easing Menstrual Aches Naturally

The topic of whether tea can alleviate menstrual pain is not exclusive to women; it should pique the interest of all individuals. Men, in particular, can play a supportive role by offering tea or herbal infusions to their partners during challenging times. Menstrual pain, often accompanied by symptoms like nausea, headaches, mood swings, and irritability, warrants attention and empathy from everyone. Menstrual pain, technically stemming from uterine contractions during menstruation, can affect young women, with up to 75% reporting severe discomfort, especially those under 25 years old. It’s crucial not to trivialize this condition; for many, it disrupts normal functioning and necessitates pharmaceutical intervention.

For women seeking alternatives to pharmaceuticals, herbal teas can offer relief. Raspberry leaf, mint, and chamomile are popular choices, but mainstream teas can also be beneficial. Research conducted in Shanghai involving over a thousand women suffering from menstrual pain explored the efficacy of green and oolong teas. The findings revealed that these teas, particularly green tea, significantly reduced painful cramps. The recommendation to drink green tea during difficult menstrual days extends beyond pain relief. Green tea’s hydrating properties and ability to maintain proper iron and hemoglobin levels are noteworthy. Its calming and mood-enhancing effects are also advantageous. Additionally, opting for green tea over coffee, known for its high caffeine content potentially exacerbating contractions, is prudent. Encouraging women, especially those enduring painful periods, to incorporate green tea into their routine can serve as a substitute for coffee or complement other treatments. Moderation is key, as with any remedy. In conclusion, promoting the consumption of tea, especially green tea, during menstruation can offer not only pain relief but also various supportive benefits. This approach underscores the importance of empathy and understanding for individuals experiencing menstrual discomfort.

#relax #canada #ontario #menstrual pain #green tea #pain #drinks

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marslikestowrite · 2 years

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It’s okay, I’ve got you.

Matt Murdock x Reader

TW: Abuse, SA, Domestic Violence

Masterlist

TW!! Abuse, Sexual Assault

Summary: You are in an abusive relationship, things get way out of hand, and you seek refuge with your best friend, Matthew Murdock.

A/N: I got inspired by a line from “Separate Ways” by Journey. Enjoy. :)

“If he ever hurts you, true love won’t desert you.”

You couldn’t stay, you had to get out. Your day had been absolutely amazing so far. It started off with Karen bringing donuts and coffee to the office, then Matt and Foggy getting more leads on a big case, and then the four of you had decided you were going to go out for drinks. You were home on time, knowing your boyfriend hated when you were late, and you had then picked out a nice outfit to go bar-hopping in. (Mid-drift shirt, and a pair of jean shorts.) Everything was fine until he saw your outfit. Then it was loud. Overbearingly loud. He screamed at you for what seemed like hours, his voice piercing your ears as tears welled up in your ducts. Then he started getting physical. Glass was shattered on the floor from a glass that based on his scent, was filled with whiskey. A spare shard had gotten stuck in your neck, and you felt blood trickling down your collarbone and onto the outfit that had gotten him so pissed off in the first place.

“You look like a fucking slut. Is that what you’re trying to be? Trying to go out with your stupid little co-workers and slut yourself out to the first man that looks at you?”

His degrading voice was engraved in your brain as his palm collided with your cheek. You cried out in pain, the tears finally spilling, as he slapped you again, yelling out more profanities and derogatory comments at you. Your cheek was sure to bruise. You couldn’t show up like this. You were supposed to meet them in 2 hours. You couldn’t show up like– like this. You stood near him shell shocked, crying in pain and still feeling the blood trickle down your neck.

“You want to be a slut? I’ll treat you like one damnit.” And the next thing you know his hands were on you. His hands grabbed you in places you did not want him touching. His hand had a bruising grip on your arm as he had his way with you with a smirk. You laid there in his bed, bruised and beaten, dried blood on your neck and chest, bruises littering your stomach, thighs, and neck. You had to leave. With whatever strength you had, you had to go. Go anywhere but here. He was out on the balcony of your shared apartment, having a smoke, and you decided this was your time. You got dressed into a T-Shirt and sweatpants to hide your bruises, before you quietly exited the bedroom, and then the front door. After that you ran. More like limped because of how sore and battered your body was, but it was as fast as you could go. You don’t know how, or when, but your body must have subconsciously made its way through Hell’s Kitchen, and towards Matt’s apartment. Truth be told, Matt heard you from 2 miles away. Your uneven breathing, the blood plastering itself against your neck, the way you winced everytime you breathed because of your cheek. He was pacing his apartment, waiting for you to arrive. He knew you were coming to him. You did indeed manage to limp your way to his place, and hoist yourself up the stairs. When you made it to the door, your hand had reached to knock, but the door swung open before you could, Matt standing there ‘staring’ at you. A breath hitched in his throat when he heard your breathing slow once you saw him.

“Matt..” You rasped quietly, voice hoarse from all your sobs, and as soon as you saw him, you couldn’t help but break down again, violent sobs ripping through your throat. He immediately hugged you, bringing you inside, and cradling you as you cried into his chest.

“Shh.. It’s okay, I’ve got you.” He cooed gently, rubbing the back of your head. You didn’t smell– normal. To him, normal was your favorite scented perfume that was too strong for his enhanced smell at first, but he eventually got used to it, the smell now comforting him. To him, normal was the exact same scent as your perfume shampoo that he, surprisingly, could smell right now despite the overwhelming non-normal smell of alcohol, blood, and salty tears. He slowly led you to his couch, trying to make sure not to bump into anything, even though he knew the layout of his apartment like the back of his hand by now, but for your sake, he was gentle. He knew you needed him. He desperately wanted to know who hurt you, but he didn’t ask, for your sake.

“Matt–Matt I.. I’m sorry.” He couldn’t believe what came out of your mouth. You? Sorry? For what. By what it looks like, you had done nothing wrong.

“For.. For showing up out of nowhere. I–I’m so sorry I know we were supposed to go out and-and I probably am being a burden right now but–” He immediately cut you off with a gentle squeeze, still cradling you like a newborn child.

“You are not a burden. Please don’t ever feel that way.” He said gently, as you sniffled, and immediately went back to sobbing into his chest. He held you there, probably for about a good thirty minutes until your heartbeat finally slowed, and you finally lifted your tear-stained face from his chest.

“I was– I was getting ready to go out. You know.. We were going to go for drinks..” You started, Matt cocking his head to the side, letting you know he was listening as his hands ran absentmindedly through your hair.

“I picked out this amazing outfit.. I felt- I felt really good in it. My boyfriend, he– he came in after I got changed, and he got mad–really mad-” You felt yourself start to tremble again at the thought, your heartbeat getting faster once more as Matt gently shushes you.

“It’s okay, keep going, I’ve got you, you’re safe.” He reassured, as you nodded quietly, before returning to your story.

“He.. He started calling me names. Really not nice names. And then– then he– then he threw a bottle. A shard got in my neck.. I got it out- The bleeding stopped a bit ago..” You explained, bringing your hand up to feel the dried stream of blood from the glass shard you picked out on the way here.

“He then.. Oh god– Then he..” You couldn’t bring yourself to talk about what happened next, not in front of Matt. You felt embarrassed. Embarrassed at the fact that you are here, crying in your best friend, and co-worker’s arms over an abusive guy you couldn’t bring yourself to break up with. He always hurt you, but you kept telling yourself that it wasn’t him. He was just angry. You made him angry.

“You don’t have to continue if you don’t want to sweetheart.” He said in a hushed tone, the nickname rolling off of his tongue like it always had. That’s another thing. Your boyfriend absolutely despised Matt. The bond you and Matt shared always just pissed him off, especially when he figured out that you were going out alone with him.

“He touched me Matt.” You whispered, and you felt the passive aggressive way he tightened his arms around you. You winced at his grip, his arms digging into the bruises. He muttered a quick apology, before his hands drifted from your hair, to ghosting your face. You knew what he wanted to do, you just wanted to hear him ask to make sure.

“Can I?” He asked gently, almost as if his words could hurt you more than his hands. You hummed a quiet ‘yes’, as he gently pressed his palms against your cheeks, feeling the bruise on your left cheek. You knew he just wanted to assess your injuries. His hands slid from your bruised cheek, down to gently press against the cut on your neck, feeling all the bumps from the dried blood. He couldn’t help himself anymore. He knew your boyfriend hurt you, for quite a while actually, however he didn’t say anything because you didn’t say anything. He finally decided to speak up after what felt like centuries of him mapping out your injuries, making you a bit more insecure, but you knew he was just trying to help.

“You’re not going back to him. Y/N I won’t let you.” He started and you gripped his arm, seeing tears well up in your eyes again made his heart break. You started to try to object, but he cut you off.

“Foggy and I, we can– we’ll be your lawyers. We can take him to court for domestic violence– we can-” This time you cut him off.

“Matt.. Matt Please no. No court, please.” You begged him. As much as your boyfriend had hurt you, you couldn’t bring yourself to take him to court. You barely had the courage to leave after tonight's incidents. Matt heard your change in heart rate again, and sighed, running his hands through your hair, making you look into his eyes, though he couldn’t see you. That was another thing, he wasn’t wearing his glasses. His maple brown, warming eyes stared at you, looking like they were trying to scan your face, though they couldn’t. His brown, normally slicked back hair was disheveled, messy, though you couldn’t help but stare. You wanted to stare.

“We don’t have to press charges, but I won’t let you go back to him.” He wasn’t dropping that fact. Where would you go then? You had nowhere to live, your salary with Nelson and Murdock wasn’t exactly a lot, so you couldn’t afford another apartment. It made you realize how much you relied on him, and he knew it. You lived in his apartment, ate his groceries that he bought with his salary, you bought your clothes with his money. He had you wrapped around his finger. You relied on him.

“Matt– Matt where will I go? All my stuff is at his place. I have nothing–”

“You can live with me.”

Your breath hitched. Live with him? You could feel the blush rising to your cheeks, and Matt could too, but for your modesty, and what had just happened, he didn’t say anything. However what he did say was completely different from anything you would have ever imagined.

“Stay here with me. Let me treat you better. It sounds so selfish of me despite everything that just happened to you, but I want to treat you better. I want to wake up with you every morning, enjoy coffee in bed with you before work, and come home with you after. I guess what I’m trying to say is I want to love you, Y/N.” Matt said softly, brushing the stray tears that fell during his little confession off of your face. That is something you haven’t heard in a long time. ‘I love you’. He hasn’t said it to you in a year. You had never seen yourself being in a relationship with Matt, purely because he seemed way out of your league, and showed no attraction to you what-so-ever. You stared up at Matt, looking at his very kissable lips, but he thought you were about to cry.

“No, no no, sweetheart don’t cry.. I’m sorry-” You cut him off with a soft, yet very quick peck on the lips.

“I hope– I hope that’s enough to show how I feel about you. I really like you too. I can’t– I can’t fully say it yet, I need some time, but I want to be with you Matt.” You whispered, squeezing him tightly as a grin worked its way onto his face. He laid down, pulling you down with him, and onto his chest.

“Take all the time in the world, darling, I’ll always be here. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.” He cooed, running his hands up and down the small of your back in a soothing motion. That night you had the best night sleep you’ve had in a while, despite the aches from the bruises, and all of your cuts. It was all Matt’s doing. He comforted you up until you fell asleep, and even then he stayed awake for a bit after to make sure you fully fell asleep. He had meant what he said. He was going to protect you with all he had. You were his now. His sweet angel.

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! I would like to include that if anyone is suffering from domestic abuse to please call the domestic abuse hotline. (800-799-7233) You are not alone.

#matt murdock #daredevil #mcu #marvel #matt murdock soft #fanfiction #matt murdock is the sweetest man ever ong #matthew murdock #matt murdock fanfiction #matt murdock fluff #matt murdock comfort #comfort

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ophelia-jones · 2 months

Text

Chapter one

It was a chilly autumn day in Brooklyn. The clouds were spitting a misty rain, and the wind stirred up leaves and litter. Traffic sprayed dirty water at distracted pedestrians. It was the time of day when the sunlight was twilight, the time of day in which the streetlights woke to take their turn at keeping the darkness at bay.

Justus stood in the shadows of a narrow alleyway with a cigarette burning in her hand. She didn't smoke, but it helped her blend into the background. She was just part of the city setting, some poor bastard standing out in the elements to feed her nicotine addiction.

She held her phone in her other hand and kept her face pointed toward it, but her eyes and ears were waiting, aimed at the door of a stairwell between a Bodega and a coffee shop. The stairs led to two floors of apartments above the businesses; old apartments with a million stories to tell. They were nothing special by most people's standards. One bedroom if you were lucky - most were studio apartments.

It was the tenant of one such apartment whom she waited for. She had to see him with her own two eyes to believe the news. She knew it to be true, but she had to see him. She didn't want to believe they had pardoned the man who had been responsible for murders, assasinations, terrorist attacks. He had set into motion multiple wars over the last eighty years, give or take.

She had seen so many injustices in her own lifetime that it should have come as no surprise at all when she saw him on the news with what remained of the Avengers. The ghost. The winter soldier. The man who had killed countless people. The man who had killed her.

The door opened, and he stepped out onto the sidewalk, looked cautiously both ways before putting his collar up against the wind and shoving his hands in his coat pockets. He had tried to fit in - he cut his hair short, dressed in more modern clothing. He wore a pair of jeans that fit him like a glove and a black leather pilot jacket. His face bore just the shadow of a beard, and his hands were covered in gloves.

Justus' heart began to race immediately, her body automatically preparing for a fight, her mind replaying the first and only other time they had met. Her body remembered the pain so clearly that she had to remind herself to breathe normally. She slipped her phone into her pocket and flicked the cigarette into a puddle. She needed to be careful - trailing the winter soldier was not something many could do. He was one of the original enhanced humans, his body perfected for war with the first attempt at replicating the super-sildier serum that had turned 90 pound weakling Steve Roger's into Captain America

Not only was he stronger, faster, and quicker to heal than a normal human, but his eyesight and hearing were heightened by both the serum and years of programming. He could probably hear a mouse fart in Queens if he was listening for it.

Justus put her own collar up and kept her head down as she fell into step a block or two behind him. She watched him stop to read a menu posted in the window of a dive bar. He moved on, stopping in a liquor store and emerging with a bottle in a brown paper bag. She had to wonder if he could actually get a buzz despite his enhancements. It would have to be a dangerously high ABV, and he'd have to drink it fast by her reckoning. But then, maybe he just liked the taste of it. Or, she thought, he could be taking it to someone.

Could he have a date? The thought turned her stomach. This man, this monster who had haunted her nightmares for so long, lived a free and normal life. The sort of life she had never known and never would. Not with him haunting her dreams and lurking in the shadows of her mind. He'd killed her friends. He'd taken the last shreds of innocence she had managed to cling to. Why did he deserve a second chance she and her people would never get?

He stopped into a deli and bought a sandwich. She stood across the street at an angle, looking through a corner window of a diner while pretending to talk on her phone as the girl behind the counter flirted with him. She slipped the sandwich and a bag of chips into a plastic bag and then played with her hair as he paid. It was blatant, but he didn't seem to engage in the flirting. He didn't seem to say much of anything at all.

Justus followed him back to his apartment and watched him climb the stairs. She waited until she couldn't see him anymore before jogging casually across the street and entering the code she'd seen him enter and opening the door. She held herself breath and listened carefully but could detect no sign of an ambush, so she cautiously made her way up the stairs with her pistol in both hands.

She peered around the corner and saw a short hallway with four doors leading to different apartments. One flickering fluorescent light was all that illuminated the hall. It felt so surreal. It felt like a dream.

It felt like a TRAP.

She turned, prepared to flee the premises and reorganize. She knew where he was now, and she decided not to press her luck. It was better to fight another day when she was better prepared. She opened the door to the street and was swept off her feet as an inhumanly strong arm grabbed her around the throat and pinned her against the brick alcove. Her feet dangled a foot over the concrete step. He must've gone out the back door and ran around the front to come up behind her like that. How long had he known she was following him? She had never seen any sign.

"What do you want?" The man growled, his face inches from hers, though she had to peer out from under her shaggy brown hair to see those icy blue eyes. Her heart froze in her chest. Those eyes! She would know them anywhere. She saw them every time she closed her own.

She was back in Kuwait, 1991. The oil fields were a burning hellscape all around, and he held her just the same way as he did now. His vibranium arm was cold as it tightened around her throat. She could remember all too well the way it felt when he had flicked his wrist and snapped her neck before tossing her out of his way like an insect.

She struggled to free herself now, and as she did, her hair fell to one side, and she was face to face with him. She saw the recognition register on his handsome face. His jaw flexed, and those blue eyes widened before his full lips parted.

He knew.

His grip loosened, and he lowered her back to her feet. He looked as if he'd seen a ghost.

"How?" He whispered. Jussie drew her pistol and aimed it at those eyes. He didn't flinch but met her eyes evenly until her hand began to shake.

"You remember me," she said, letting her hand fall to her side.

"I remember everything," he told her, his blue eyes still wide. He was filled with wonder and terror. Not for his physical well-being but the terror of being face to face with his past. He remembered her. He remembered the green eyes that had pled with him for mercy.

Mercy, which he had been incapable of giving.

"Then you know why I'm here," she sneered, regaining her need for vengeance. She reached for the blade secured in her waistband, but Sargeant Barnes used his other hand, the one that was still flesh and bone, to grab her tiny wrist and pin it to the wall. He spoke calmly to her, holding her green eyes with those piercing blues.

"I'm going to let go of you, and you are going to do one of two things. Understand?" He said, speaking in a voice that betrayed the emotions roiling inside of him only because it was eerily calm. Justus did not respond. Her jaw was clenched tight, and her gaze held his. She did not swallow, nor struggle - she did not so much as blink. Bucky's jaw flexed, his generous mouth pressed into a thin line that betrayed his irritation.

"You are going to leave and never come back. I don't care where you go, so long as we never meet again. I know you THINK you want revenge. I do. I understand, but I promise you it won't help," he said as he removed his hands from her throat and wrist. She continued to glower at him, unmoving.

"Or?" She finally replied through clenched teeth.

"Or," Bucky stood with his hands on his hips, looking at the ground and shaking his head slightly as if he couldn't believe what he was saying. "We can go down the street and talk like civilized people over a drink. I have questions of my own for you."

She stared at him with silent loathing but made no move to draw another weapon.

"I'll buy," Bucky added, pursing his lips as he waited for an answer. "Dinner, too. Final offer."

"You might come to regret that offer," she told him in a deadpan tone. Bucky sighed and shook his head once again.

"I'm already starting to. Come on," he said as he opened the door for the woman with the shaggy brown hair and the shining green eyes. He would be lying if he said she looked exactly the same as when they had first met all those years ago. She'd appeared to be in her mid to late forties that day in Kuwait. She'd been filthy with sweat, soot, blood, and bruises. This woman was somehow younger. She was fresh-faced and healthy, *strong* even.

Except for her eyes. Those eyes were old and weary. They were eyes he saw in his nightmares, amongst the other memories which suffocated and tortured him when he grew so fatigued he could not resist sleep. They were eyes he had watched the life drain out of, like so many others. They were eyes that did not look away as the light left them, but which had held his own to the end. They had searched for the humanity that had been shackled and chained by the Hydra programming. They were eyes that had touched that humanity while it cried for hope in the darkest of existences.

He had questions. So many questions.

#bucky barnes #bucky #bucky barnes fanfic #wintersoldier fan fic #winter soldier

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