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httpknjoon · 6 months

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(re)starting over again | kth; 12

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 5.3k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | mentions of death, drinking, disease (cancer)

note | surpisingly, i am still alive lol i'm kidding. i apologize for the delay! the bad headaches are now gone and the fever has cooled down. and now, the update's here! to everyone who sent their messages, tysm I appreciate it 🥺 I didn't mean to ghost y'all, I'm so sorry! anw hope u enjoy reading this one :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

Ever since you were young, you liked things to go the way you planned it. When you were younger, you carried a small notebook with you. Your father gave you your first one during the holidays when you were seven. In there, you make your own little bullet journal, listing off the things you would want to do for the upcoming days. With your messy handwriting, you even wrote your far future plans.

As a child, you used to see things with your rose-colored glasses. Everything seemed real and attainable for your small hands. You thought you just had to follow the usual path of your plans and you would be fine. But things do not always go according to plan. You learned it the hard way.

You always dreamt of being a nurse. At age eight, you were a frequent visitor to the hospital. Not because you were sick yourself, but because you and your mom had to go back there from time to time with your dad who was receiving treatment for his disease. You wanted to take care of him. So you did what a little girl could do, listen to your dad’s heartbeat through your plastic toy stethoscope and kiss his pain away. He would always call you his favorite nurse and you would give him your toothy grin. After a year, when you were nine, he lost his battle with cancer.

Confused and in sorrow, you almost crossed out that dream from your list. You had a hard time understanding why you had to lose your dad at such an early age. Your friends had dads, how come you lost yours before you could even reach middle school? Then, you became angry. Your father was always in treatment in the hospital. Hospitals are meant to cure people, right? Your little kid brain thought. It felt unfair to you.

But then, you and your mom later left the small neighborhood you were living in and moved in with your aunt– her older sister. Aunty Belle is a nurse herself, a surprise for you as you didn’t know you have a relative who works in the same place you loathed at that time. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her, she was warm and welcoming when you arrived in her humble abode in Incheon. She doesn’t have a family of her own so she took good care of you and your mom. She became your third parent while your mom deals with the grief of losing her husband.

“It’s fun. You get to meet wonderful people every day and help them to feel better.” your aunt replied once when you asked her about her job.

Aunty Belle never got tired of your questions and curiosity about nursing. Slowly, you began rebuilding your plans. The dream of being a nurse is back, added with your other dreams: making your mom happy, and living independently (like your aunt). You studied hard, aiming for higher grades and going to the best college for your dreams.

But at age fifteen, Aunty Belle became your legal guardian when your mom passed. Through your aunt, you learned that your mother has been struggling heavier than you expected. Your aunt was extremely worried for your mom that’s why she begged her to come and live with her. You always thought your mom was getting better with how she cried less day by day and even took a job as a receptionist in a dental clinic.

Since then, you have become more understanding and emotionally sensitive to everyone. The feelings you had years ago when you lost your dad were creeping around you. This time, instead of being angry at something else, you felt like this one was on you. You blamed yourself for not seeing the signs from your mother’s eyes. How she became more reserved or how her eyes were often blank whenever she tried to smile for you. Maybe you were too focused on reaching your plans that you didn’t give any attention to her. You were angry, hurt, and in guilt. It’s too overwhelming and is heavy in your heart. It reached the point where you broke down during breakfast, in front of the toast and bacon Aunty Belle prepared for you, weeks after your mom’s funeral.

“I should’ve seen it. I should have seen that she was not okay.” you sniffed as you looked down your plate. “I was supposed to make her feel better and happy.”

Crying, you pushed your plate in front of you and just covered your face with your palms. You repeated the words over and over again like you were reminding yourself how you failed as your mom’s only child.

“Oh, sweetie…” your aunt whispered before sitting beside you and enveloping you in a hug. Her hand moved up and down your arms, making you feel warm. “It’s not your fault. You are the best daughter she could ask for. She loves you more than anything else.”

After that morning, Aunty Belle made sure to get you the best help. She guided you in everything she could and supported you with your choices. She made sure that you will still pursue your plans, never stopping you from doing what you want. Years later, you graduated from high school and were about to embark on a new journey.

“You know that you can just have this place,” she mumbled when you were packing your things. “I’m selling it anyway.”

“But Aunty, this isn’t in my plan. You know how bad I want to live in Seoul.” you smiled at her.

Because of your efforts and hard work, you got accepted into one of the best universities in another city. You later moved from Incheon to Seoul to finish your studies and become a nurse there. While Aunty Belle sold her home and followed her own plans of living with her longtime best friends under one roof.

But none of what happened in the last few years was part of your plans when you were younger. You didn’t really see yourself coming back to Incheon after living in Seoul for the longest time. You never thought you would leave your job in the hospital you dreamed of and work in a slightly different environment.

Two years ago, you left home. The house you had plans in with someone else. You were the one who broke off those plans and moved away without really telling anyone. You remembered that night like it was yesterday.

Every step you took away from him felt like a piece of you fell on the ground. Your vision was all blurry and you had to cover your lips as you sobbed. You clutched onto your gown while you remind yourself that you need to do this. For the sake of your own being. But still, there is this voice telling you to stay– to turn around and come back to him.

“YN, honey,”

Looking up, you see Julia looking at you with sympathy. She walked towards you with open arms and you immediately just broke down on her dress. Listening to your sobs, Julia eyes her date, whom you didn’t notice was there waiting too, to get in the car.

Your whispered voice muffled in the hug, “I hate this so much,”

The whole drive home, Julia and Chanyeol respected your silence in the backseat. They put on some radio music and chatted about the wedding while your teary eyes just looked outside the window. They were like your parents that night. When you guys passed by McDonald’s, it took one nudge from Julia to make Chanyeol turn the car back around for the drive-thru. She ordered your food for you in a separate bag so you could have something to eat when you reached home. When you arrived in front of your house, they helped you with your small bag.

“Thank you so much, guys. I’m sorry this is our first meeting, Chanyeol.” you tried to lighten the mood as you three stood on the porch.

He smiled, “It’s fine. Everyone has their bad day.”

You chuckled before Julia nudged her again with her elbow. Then, she turns to you.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Probably early morning. I already have the keys to keep my apartment so I can go there now too if I want to.” your words rambled as your head felt like a mess.

“Okay, call me. I’ll pick you up–” Before you can say anything, she lifts her finger. “And no, I won’t take no for an answer. I wanna see your new place.”

They left after Julia made sure you were fine. Walking into your house for the last time, you tried to go straight to your room to change from your gown to your pajamas. Then, you cried again. And again. And again.

The last time you woke up in that house was the morning after that. You woke up before dawn. The sky was barely lit and the moon was still present above you. You promised yourself that you would leave like a ghost. Like what you have been doing the last few days. Cleaning up, your hand ran on your bedsheets to smoothen out the wrinkles. Fortunately, almost ninety percent of your clothes fit in two pieces of luggage. You just have to leave a few things that you’ll probably get when you get back.

From Julia

Will be there in five

Five minutes left, you find yourself sitting in front of your vanity mirror. Making one last check, you pulled the small drawers in the table. That’s when you saw that old pearl ring Taehyung bought you in the flea market. A heavy sigh from your chest makes its way out of your lips. Holding it between your thumb and index finger, you stare at it.

We tried, didn’t we?

Before any tears can fall, you simply close your eyes. Your chest heaves. You clutched that ring in your palm for some minute, like you were giving your one last goodbye. Then, you carefully place it next to your keys. You decided to leave your keys as you don’t want to come and go here in secret as you always have the tendency to do that especially if you want to avoid a person. Like you were doing now. You want to come back here better and hopefully, talk to Taehyung in the future.

Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.

You wrote on a piece of paper that you left on the same table. In the weeks you two lived together after the accident, you knew how he struggled to adjust to this house. Now that you’re going, you wish for him to feel comfortable in this house you two shared and called home. The pieces of furniture and shade of blue that took over every wall in the house were picked by both you and Taehyung when you bought it. The frame kept every memory you and Taehyung love to look back on in the span of your four-year relationship. But if it means for him to feel at home, you won’t mind if he wants to change things around the house. Even though it will probably break your heart harder than it is now.

“You…”

It was only your first morning, the second day in your new apartment in Incheon when someone came knocking on your door. You were still organizing your place and unpacking when you heard continuous heavy knocks. Almost instantly, your eyes widened when you saw who it was through your door’s peephole. The person spoke again as soon as you opened your door.

“You moved?!” Jisoo immediately pushed through your door and welcomed herself in. “You moved here?!”

Based on the tone of her voice, she was more angry than surprised. Her eyebrows were scrunched together while her nose flared. Her hands were on her hips like she was waiting for an explanation. Your lips opened for a second before it closed again. You softly scratched your cheek before opening your lips again,

“I-I thought you were on your honeymoon vacation.”

She tilts her head, “Well, I’m not. Am I?”

“Why are you here?” you mumbled, sounding scared at her.

The thing is, Jisoo rarely gets angry or annoyed. You had known her ever since you began working as a nurse and you learned she have the longest patience for everyone else. But when she runs out of it, you don’t know how she will react.

“Why are you here?” she returned your question with raised eyebrows. “You did not tell me you were moving here or resigning in the hospital! What happened?”

You closed the door and quietly walked back to your messy living room since you knew she would follow. She did and continued,

“I saw the shift schedule like two hours ago and you’re not there. I had to ask Gail and she said you resigned. You were not answering my calls or messages! I had to call Julia. Then, she told me you moved here– What the fuck happened? I was only busy for like two weeks and next thing I know, my best friend’s in another city and hospital.”

You sat on your grey couch while Jisoo still stood in front of you. You looked away as your replied,

“Well, actually I’ll be working in a school–”

Jisoo’s tone went higher, “What?!”

“I applied as a school nurse–”

“No, no, no.” she shushed you. “Tell me everything that happened. Everything.”

So you did. But first, you asked her to sit down next to you. You ordered food by app as you don’t really have any stock of food at the moment. While you were waiting for the food, you began telling her about what happened. From how you met Lily to how you happened to be where you are right now. Jisoo listened intently. As you went on, you noticed her shoulders and facial expression softened up. From her jaw being clenched tight, her lips were formed into a slight frown. You tried not to cry throughout the whole story-telling impromptu but your voice did shake and you just felt your best friend’s warm hands somewhere in the middle of your story. At the end, you find yourself leaning your head on her shoulder while she leans hers on top.

“I and Joon just decided to go on honeymoon next month. Plus, I have a toaster and an air fryer in my car.” Jisoo broke the comfortable silence you two shared with a random sentence.

You lifted your head, looking at her, “What? Why?”

“We received like a ton of it from the wedding. We had to give some stuff away rather than selling it and I just knew your place is probably still empty. So I just bought some. I have plates too.” she smiled.

“But what if I was the one who gave you that toaster?” you asked, squinting your eyes.

“You did not.” she chuckled but your expression didn’t change. She blinked and asked with a feeble voice, “You did not, right?”

Your lips broke into a smile, “Yeah, we didn’t.”

She pouted before you two laughed and hugged. Just like that, you and Jisoo are okay.

Unlike any of your past decisions, nothing was truly planned when you decided to move away. Aunty Belle, whom you visit every now and then, comforted you about it and said that life just happens like that sometimes. And that’s how your two years went. Unplanned. You just applied for the first good job you saw, which happened to be being a school nurse in a preschool. You moved to another apartment after just a few months since your initial place is farther on the subway you always take to get to the school every morning.

Working with kids, you always miss your patients back in Seoul. Particularly, Naeun, whom you are still in contact with. You visit her a couple of times when you go to Seoul.

And there were times when you thought you saw Taehyung. Not just in Seoul, but also in Incheon. The first one was just months after you left, you were on your way to preschool when you saw him in the subway. But you thought it was just a look-alike and impossible since he would not have any reason to come here. Plus, you were feeling a little down that week as it was supposedly your fifth anniversary. The next time is when you come to Seoul to visit Naeun. It was a busy Sunday and you stopped by a toy store in the mall to get a gift for your favorite patient. It was a bit crowded since it was on sale. So you lost him in the blink of an eye.

The most recent one is when you came to Seoul for Julia’s birthday. You had a few drinks with your friends and everything was already slightly blurry. But you swore you saw him when you were waiting for your Uber late at night. You were with Julia, who was waiting with you just to make sure you’d be safe. She was talking about something but your eyes caught a man walking on the other side of the road with his head down on his phone. The small light coming from his screen made you recognize him. It’s him, you’re sure.

Although you have visited the city a couple of times already, you never drop by the bakeshop or the house. You never even contacted Taehyung. There were times it crossed your mind. But you never did. You miss him. God knows, how much. But you don’t know what to say about the house, him, you, or the relationship you two had.

You and Jimin talked seldomly. The first one was a week after you and Taehyung officially went separate ways. He would ask how are you and you would do the same thing. You were surprised but happy at the same time when you learned he had a kid, who happens to be Jisoo’s nephew. You two had this unspoken rule to not talk about Taehyung because Jimin doesn’t bring him up and you are too shy to ask. But you know they are doing well, you heard they expanded the shop.

In the whole two years, Taehyung never really left your mind. It’s hard. Especially when you would still get random reminders of your relationship in unexpected ways. In what was supposed to be your fifth anniversary, you got a scheduled e-mail from his account. Every year, your phone calendar still updates you to buy him a gift a month before his birthday. And just like last month, you found an old picture in one of your bags. Something you probably slipped there long ago. It’s a picture taken years ago during your first snow in your house with a handwritten caption, TOO MORE SNOWY DAYS TOGETHER. It was in his handwriting.

“Goodbye, Nurse YN!”

A little kid waved his little hand to you while his mom politely smiled at you. You waved back and continued walking back from your small clinic. This is how your day ends in school: tiny voices saying goodbye and sometimes giving you warm hugs. You were never really busy since you worked with two other school nurses who you became friends with.

“Oh, hey, YN.”

You just sat in front of your computer screen, recording some student’s health records, when your co-nurse popped into your shared office. Martha just found her recent hobby a couple of months ago after you told her that you haven’t been dating for the last couple of years.

You exaggeratedly sighed and did not even look at her, “What do you want?”

“YN sounds so tired of you already.” Aileen, your other co-nurse, laughed while organizing her files.

“I know, she is.” Martha chuckled. She turns to you, “I know a guy…”

You paused from what you were doing, “Martha–”

It’s not like you’re not interested in dating. It took you more than a year to be open again to the idea and so far, you’ve gone into two dates from Martha’s recommendations. But both were not a match. The first one is a great guy but he seems like he cannot get over an ex since he talked about her half of the time. While the second guy is just rude. That’s all you can say about him. The date was all about him not liking how the steak was cooked and how one of the waiters was too kind to you. It was horrible.

“No, no, honey. Listen to me first.” Matha cuts you off. “I personally know this guy. He’s my cousin and… he also works in the medical field! He’s a doctor.”

An eyebrow raised. A doctor? Well, you never dated one before. But you knew doctors were better than that last guy you mentioned.

Aileen joined, “Is he the one you showed me earlier?

“Yup,” Martha replied, popping the ‘p’ sound.

“Oh, you’ve got to see him, YN. The guy is gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “If you won’t date him, I will!”

The three of you laughed. Of course, Aileen can’t. She is currently seven months pregnant with her second child and married to one of the teachers in this same preschool.

“Just don’t tell Seb,” she added, mentioning her husband.

You still haven’t said anything even though you are admittedly interested. Martha pulled her phone out.

“Wait, I’ll show you his account.”

“Oh, that dress suits you perfectly!”

Jisoo’s voice filled your room as you fixed the dress on your body. Even though you two are in different cities, she is still your go-to every time you need to dress up for something. Usually, through Facetiming. The date is fine-dining. So, you tried on different dresses for Jisoo to pick on and eventually, you two agreed on the same one.

“Don’t forget your coat! It might get cold,” she advised. “Now, turn around again!”

You giggled before doing what she said. You heard her cheer and compliments, making you smile.

“You are stunning!”

“Thank you so much for helping me, Jiji,” you said with a small smile.

“You’re welcome. Just have fun, okay? Let me know how it goes later.” she told you and you nodded. She spoke again, “Now, go! Book that Uber already.”

“Okay, okay. Bye! Call you later. Love you!” you waved.

She waved back, “Love you, take care!”

You ended the call and moved to another app to look for a ride. Your date initially asked if you wanted him to pick you up. But you just agreed to meet him at the restaurant he invited you to. He seems nice. Martha said her cousin has been single for a while now. After his last relationship, he just gave most of his time to work.

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi! I’m on my way. See you there.

You sent your date the message when you finally got in the car you booked twenty minutes ago. It did not even take a few minutes before he replied,

From +82 65 78** ****

Okay, see you there! Take care.

Pursing your lips, you look outside the window of the moving car. You hope for the best for tonight. You hope Martha’s recommendation is at least okay this time. Maybe the universe could prove to you that Taehyung is not the only guy in the world who could make the butterflies play around in your stomach. Or the only guy who would be patient enough with your tendencies. You just have to know that he is not the only guy in the world. Period.

As much as you won’t say it, dating Taehyung for four years made him your standard for everything. You already met two versions of him; one before the accident and one after the accident. They are almost the same person but the latter just brought you a lot of pain because of various circumstances. But you know and feel he shows his emotions in other ways.

“We’re here.” the female driver, whom you saw is Val, said as she stopped the car in front of the brightly lit restaurant.

You smiled before getting out of the vehicle, “Thank you.”

Starry Night lives up to its name. As you noticed before, the whole place is lit up with many lights. Carefully, you walked inside with your strappy heels. The staff smiled and greeted you, and you greeted them back.

“Good evening, madam. Welcome to Starry Night. How may I help you?”

“I have a reservation under Jung Hoseok’s name.” you politely replied.

“Oh, okay. Let me check our list. Excuse me.” the host scrolled down his iPad for a minute. “The name’s here! Please, follow me to your table. This way please.”

You followed him while looking around the place. It’s not too crowded and it has a romantic feeling because of the lights and jazz music. You know someone who would have loved to go here. Before you sit down, the host assisted you with the chair and offered to take your coat. You agreed. Pulling out your phone from your purse, you update Hoseok that you just arrived. You put your phone down and studied the whole place again with your eyes.

A woman caught your eye. She was talking and chatting with the chef in the side station. They looked like they were waiting for someone to enter the door. Your gaze were broke off when someone spoke from your side.

“Good evening, ma’am. My name is Soojin and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. Would you like to order something?” the young waiter smiled.

“Oh, I’m still waiting for my date…” you murmured. “But can I have some water please?”

“Certainly, ma’am. Excuse me.”

Soojin left as you said thank you. As she was gone from your sight, your eyes landed on the man who was entering the restaurant. Dressed in a nice black coat over a light blue shirt, you quickly recognize him. Your mouth runs dry while your heart beats like a horse’s footsteps in a race. You were frozen.

What is he doing he– Fuck.

Your eyes meet. You can see his eyes widening as his lips gaped slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down while you practically lost your hearing. All you can hear is the drum inside your chest.

Fuck, you cursed again.

What are the chances for this to happen? Is the universe playing or simply fucking with you? You asked for a great date and it gave you this. The man you’ve been holding as your standard ever since.

It burns.

His eyes. You can feel them as you take a sip from the ice-cold glass of water. After the host led him to one of the empty tables in your line, your eyes traveled everywhere except on his spot. You two were literally just an empty table apart.

Is he here for a date? Why here? In Incheon, really? Can’t he just date people from Seoul?

It has been nine minutes, you’ve been counting. Your hand rests on your knee, to stop your knees from jerking up and down, while the other rests on the table with your phone. You’ve been texting but erasing messages to Hoseok. You don’t think you can do this. With Taehyung being just a few feet away from you, it felt wrong to be with someone else. You should have been sitting right in front of him.

Slowly, you try to move your eyes in his direction. You paused when you saw that he was staring at you too, unmovable. Are you supposed to smile? Wave? Nod. just nod. You were about to do that when the same woman from the side station walked up to him, covering your view of him.

“Hi, good evening!” you heard her honey-like voice greet him. “I’m Ashley.”

You noticed Taehyung stood up. They shake hands and you don’t really hear the rest of their conversation. You began texting your date,

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi. Where are you?

You’ve been alone for a while now.

Taehyung noticed. The glass of water on your table is almost empty. The waiter already come back to you a couple of times now. He can see you chewing on your lower lip as you check your phone every minute that passes by.

Did your date just stand you up?

His hands clutched as he thought of that idea. He knew you didn’t deserve that.

“I think this is good! Not too sweet, not too spiced. It’s soft too. Just perfect.” Ashley snapped him from his thoughts.

Taehyung tried to concentrate on what he originally meant to do here, “Yeah… uhm… Jimin, my friend, really tries to balance the texture and taste. It’s his own carrot cake recipe that he worked on before we even had the shop.”

Ashley already had a taste of every cake he brought. Five open Tupperware are on their table, including the cheesecake you love. She began talking about the other cakes and dessert while Taehyung stole some glances at you again. This time, you are on call. You pursed your lips before replying to whoever it was. He can read the disappointment through your eyes as your lips form into a small frown. You sighed before saying, it’s fine, I understand. No problem.

“Okay, these are really good. I think your products will be a great addition to our menu.” Ashley spoke again.

Taehyung looked at her with surprise, “Oh, wow. That’s… great.”

Did he just get this deal?

“Yeah, I trusted my chef when he said he had the best Tiramisu in your shop and I’m glad I did. These desserts are perfect and really satisfy my sweet tooth.” She compliments.

Taehyung bowed his head, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Your desserts deserve to be everywhere. Haven’t you guys thought of opening a branch here?” she asked.

“Oh, we’re still figuring things out. We just expanded our main shop in Seoul.” he chuckled.

“Well, I might go there when I visit Seoul.”

“Please do and let us know.” he smiled.

“I will. By the way, the contract is not ready now. But we are definitely having this deal! Can you and Jimin visit here again next week or maybe me and my head chef can visit your shop in Seoul?” Ashley offers.

“I still have to discuss that with my friend.”

“Oh, sure. Sure. Here, we are okay with any decision. Just let us know. You guys have our e-mail and numbers, right?” Taehyung nods. “Okay, I guess… that’s a done deal.”

Ashley stood up and offered her hand. Taehyung stood up too and shook her hand.

“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled.

While Ashley replied, he stole another glance behind her. That’s when he sees you standing up and walking back to the host at the entrance of the restaurant. The host had an apologetic look on his face as you talked to him. He helped you with your coat. It seems like you’re leaving with your date being a no-show.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But I would have to go for now..” Taehyung carefully said.

Ashley smiled, “Oh, of course. Yes. You can go. But one more thing… can you leave these cakes?”

Taehyung chuckled with that, “Of course!”

“Thank you! See you in the contract signing!”

“See you.”

Taehyung took his coat from his seat and left in a hurry. You were already gone, possibly out of the restaurant. He said thank you to the staff who opened the door for him and he immediately searched around. That’s when he sees you standing, looking down at your phone.

“This one’s just a few minutes away–”

He took a deep breath before saying, “YN?”

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

@iamkookiesforyou @aianloveseven @hoodalmighty @taebangtanbabe @kthsmoon @nooojaaam @hiimnothing @hiqhkey @annenakamura @taebangtanbabe @shin-ie @prlan @starlight-night0 @teddybeartaetae @http-fayeradise @tannies-luv @betysotelo18 @honsoolgloss @aurorathi @paulaaa97 @satisfied18 @telepathytae @talkyoongitome

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @ficluvr613 @misshale21

#bts angst #bts x reader #bts series #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #taehyung x reader #taehyung au #taehyung series #bts amnesia #taehyung amnesia #bts established relationship au #taehyung established relationship #restarting over again kth

258 notes · View notes

hanggarae · 10 months

Text

maybe we can try if you let me ..

6.6k words ☠️ angst fluff hurt comfort pining jealousy royalty au prince! mingyu f!noble!reader one sided love, mentions of infidelity/cheating reader is childhood friends w dokyeom like one mention of blood not proofread

“so, how does it feel?” miyeon inquired excitedly from your side, dusting her fingers carefully over her tiara once again, “i’m still in shocked that one of us is actually getting married”

you forced a gentle smile to her, never wanting to crush her excitement. it’s not her fault she’s blissfully unaware of how you felt about the entire situation. it’s not her fault that your engagement was purely made of convenience. it’s not her fault that you hardly considered it was truly you getting married. it’s not her fault your soon-to-be husband didn’t love you back. and it’s not her fault that you’ve been hopelessly in love with him for years.

miyeon never knew about your infatuation with mingyu, you never told her because the second you did it was a sign that your feelings for mingyu were strong enough for you to inform others of it, and you convinced yourself you’d never let it come to that.

although this should’ve been a dream come true for you, your inner teenage self bashfully giggling at the thought of marrying the prince you’d harboured feelings for since you’d first met him, the part of you that was now mature enough to realise loving someone didn’t always mean they’d love you back quivered in fear at the thought of being tied to a marriage where you’d never receive a fraction of the love you felt.

“it feels.. surreal. i don’t think i’ve still realised i’m actually engaged, that i’ll be somebody’s wife, you know?” you tried putting up a convincing enough act, hoping she’d take your hesitance as nerves rather than melancholy.

she nodded understandingly, soothing over shoulder reassuringly.

“that’s fairly understandable. if i was you i’d be all the same” she hummed, “not long ago we were giggling at the thought of picking a wedding dress and now you’re meeting the tailors at the end of the week”

right. you weren’t particularly excited for it like you’d dreamt you’d be. in fact, you dreading it the more you thought of it. because the fitting would just be you and your fiancé mingyu.

pushing the thought to the back of your head, you smiled at miyeon once again and continued entertaining her questions until you’d both decided to call it a night, miyeon headed back to her chambers while you could barely sleep, mind too busy thinking about what your life had come to and what it will come to after your marriage.

there was no official date for the wedding yet, but rumours circulating the palace led you to learn that there was a ball in a weeks time, whether the wedding would be before or after you could only find out from the prince himself, and whether or not you can would attend the ball with mingyu was also something you’d have to find out from him.

however, you could never bring yourself to ask him. every moment since you’d learnt of the ball was an opportunity to find the prince and get any idea of what was happening, but you were too much of a coward to ever go through with asking him.

you paced outside of his study once again, debating whether or not you should knock on the intimidating oak door. you hovered your fist over the door for the seemingly hundredth time that morning before sighing defeatedly and turning on your heal to leave. but before you could take your first step the doors swung open as you froze immediately.

there he was. kim mingyu, the crown prince and your soon to be husband. he was taken aback for a second at seeing you suddenly, before he allowed a smile to grace his face.

the smile was probably just to be kind, but part of you wanted to believe it was genuine. while he might not be in love with you, you’d hoped he’d at least not think the worst of you.

“y/n. is everything alright? what brings you here?” his eyes continued to run over you, frowning when he stopped at your hand, “what happened to your finger?”

you were flustered when he pointed it out, surprised he even noticed. you quickly recovered and shook your head lightly, corners of your lips curling up.

“oh i had accidentally cut it when i was taking some of my jewellery off, nothing to worry about. i had honestly forgotten about it” you reassured smiling.

mingyu nodded before bringing his gaze back up to your face, “please be more careful next time. now as i asked before, if something the matter?”

you stayed silent for a few seconds, throat running dry at his intense gaze on you. you cleared your thought and swallowed, “um.. if it’s not a bother, could i ask you a few questions?” turning your eyes away from him slightly to focus on the gold doorknob with a floral pattern engraved on its sides.

“hmm, i have a few meetings with the court i attend this afternoon but i believe i’m free for the next hour or so” mingyu hummed thoughtfully, turning slightly to the side to make space for you, “please come in, take a seat”

you sat at the desk chair opposite to mingyu, the situation reminding you of when a principal would scold a student making you unconsciously tense slightly while you mentally cursed at yourself for getting nervous at the smallest of things.

mingyu must’ve noticed your tense posture and took it as a sign to instead invite you to a small round table placed by the fireplace. while you sat however mingyu busied himself with something else.

he returned with a tray carrying a teapot, two teacups, a small pot containing sugar and a small plate of small desserts. you tried reassuring him that he didn’t have to bring the tray, that he didn’t have to pour you a cup, that it was inappropriate for a prince to do such things when you could’ve but mingyu simply reassured you that this was a minuscule action.

after you had both taken a sip of the tea mingyu was the first to speak up, “do you like tea?”

his question was surprising, you thought he would’ve rushed you to ask your questions, any small talk only being a waste of his time.

regardless, you pondered his question for a few seconds before turning to look at him once again, “i don’t really particularly like or dislike it if that makes sense. my mother encouraged me to have a few cups whenever i was sick but i don’t often have it other than that. how about you, your highness?”

“for a long time i didn’t care for it much, but a friend of mine, minghao, he’s quite interested in tea ceremonies” he answered after taking a sip, “whenever we meet he often goes into detail about different tea’s and how their grown, he’s researched a lot into it”

you smiled lightly after he told you that the tea set you were using right now, a gift he’d given only recently after hearing news of the engagement.

a few minutes of silence pass before mingyu speaks up again “oh my apologies, i had forgotten you had a few questions to ask, what were they?”

you played with the ring on your finger as you murmured, “there had been a few rumours that there was a ball to be held in a week?” you took mingyu’s nod as confirmation so continued, “i was only wondering if i was to attend to?”

mingyu tilted his head and looked at you with a confused look for a few seconds. cute you thought.

“well.. of course, you’d be attending with me as my fiancé. who else would i attend with?” he still looked a little confused.

“that’s fine, thank you for letting me know. oh! and if i could ask you one more thing” again you took his nod as a sign to keep going “i understand there likely isn’t a confirmed date yet but i was wondering if you had an idea when the wedding would be?”

“i’m afraid not, the elders in the court are rushing it but it wouldn’t be very princely of me to rush you into a wedding now would it? the guilt of springing the engagement on you is eating me up as it is” he frowned slightly.

you murmured something quietly and if mingyu wasn’t so close to you he’s certain he would’ve missed it altogether, “i’m sorry, y/n, could you repeat that?”

“my apologies, i had said that if the wedding needs to be done in a hurry i really don’t mind. the marriage is for your highness’ convenience so honestly, i really don’t mind when it is. i just wanted an idea so i know when i should tell a friend of mine to take a train into town” you trailed off slightly at the end.

mingyu frowned even deeper at your sentence, he looked.. sullen? in fact it even looked like he was pouting slightly.

“i’ll be sure to let you know” he said rather hastily before grabbing a few of his things, “while i really must head off now to the meeting but you’re more than welcome to stay here if you wish”

and that was all that was said before he quickly parted ways with you, leaving you alone in the study.

you finished up your tea and started to clear up the table. after you had finished you’d decided to look around the study, after all, mingyu had given you permission to stick around.

you looked over the walls, pictures of mingyu with the royal family gracing them. there were some pictures of him and his pet puppy, some of him and his friend that you recognised as minghao, a duke of a kingdom not far from your own.

you continued looking at some more of the pictures, before you stopped at one that was more recent. it had to have been, mingyu’s hair was slightly longer from when he’d grown it out recently, not that you’d been paying attention of course.

you looked over it again, he was with a lady, you recognised her as a princess of another kingdom, it seemed like her and mingyu were close. from the story that the picture was telling you, they were quite fond of each other even.

you swallowed the bitter taste at the back of your throat. honestly, why did you care? he was a good looking guy that would very obviously have hundreds if not thousands of women pining over him, it’s no surprise he’d take a liking to one. and that one wasn’t you. it’d never be you.

you turned your heel and left before you’d allow it to hurt you even more.

you hadn’t spoken to mingyu for the rest of the week. it seemed he’d been busy with whatever the elders wanted of him. you’d been busy too, there were all sorts of responsibilities that you would have to take on when you eventually married mingyu, and you’d spent the week at ‘classes’ that taught you how to handle said responsibilities. you figured that mingyu would’ve had to attend such things too, only he’d have been forced to when he was a child.

but today you wouldn’t have to be bored out of your mind while one of mingyu’s butlers explained which was the proper fork to use. despite being a noble yourself, you were never told to go into such details, your family being content with you simply being polite and having good etiquette.

although, you would’ve much rather potentially die of boredom than do what was actually on your schedule for today. and that was meeting the tailors.

meeting the tailors also meant that you and mingyu would face each other, and you didn’t know how you could do that after seeing the pictures he had of him and that princess, because as much as you’d try convincing yourself that you knew he’d never fall for you, part of you still foolishly longed for it and craved it more than anything.

you made a turn in the hallway and finally came face to face with the door, behind it you knew were mingyu and some of the kingdom’s finest tailors and jewellers. hesitantly, you pushed yourself to know on the door, calling out too in order to alert mingyu of your presence before finally turning the knob.

mingyu smiled at you and you returned it quickly before you were being dragged away by the tailors.

you didn’t think that everything would be done so meticulously, but you were quickly shown just how serious of a matter the tailor’s considered it. first they had a team to decide which colors suited you well, also making sure that whatever color you wore went well with what mingyu would wear. then a team helped you decide what shape and design you wanted the dress to have. and then a team to take the required measurements multiple times to make sure everything was perfect. and finally there was a team to decide what jewellery you should wear. after all of your decisions were finalised the tailors told you’d both have to meet them again once the dress was sewn to ensure the dress was perfect.

by the time they left, you were so exhausted you ended up practically collapsing on the stool. mingyu chuckled at your state, striding his way over to you “if you thought that was bad you’re going to loathe the dress rehearsal”

“there’s a dress rehearsal?” you sighed exasperatedly. you shut your eyes, rubbing at your temples as you felt a migraine approaching.

“yes, darling, there is a dress rehearsal” he laughed, “usually a few days before the official ceremony. royals often do it since our weddings are always expected to be more than perfect”

although you didn’t focus on that last part. you didn’t focus on anything mingyu said after he said that one little word.

darling.

oh it felt nice to believe for a second that this was real. that this marriage wasn’t out of convenience. that mingyu had proposed to you for love and not because you were a rich noble’s daughter that he only proposed to because the elders of the court wouldn’t let him breathe.

“so there won’t be one after the dress is ready?” you peered at him.

“it’s a little different than a dress rehearsal, it’s simply a fitting. they’ll make sure that both of our garments appear well on us and don’t clash with each other” he explained to you, hand combing through his hair.

you nodded slowly and let your eyes close for a few seconds, your head was pounding and you’d decided to allow yourself to relax for a few minutes before reality would cut in.

when you awoke, you were alone.

you were still wearing your garments from last night and you don’t remember walking home last night, or even being escorted.

soon you realised you weren’t home, you were in the palace. most likely one of the many guest rooms. as for how you got there though, that you were still unsure of.

once you got up you noticed something at the dresser. a note.

good morning y/n, once you’ve finished getting ready, please be kind enough to join me in the courtyard for breakfast.

-mingyu

your heart started growing flustered at the thought of mingyu asking you to meet him. you rushed to meet him, quickly changing into the spare clothes someone had left for you by the mirror and making sure you looked presentable for mingyu.

as soon as you were happy you made your way through the palace halls, walking with joy as you thought about meeting the prince and allowed your mind to be taken over by situations you imagine yourself in with mingyu.

when you’d reached the courtyard, the first thing you saw was mingyu as he sat under a tree for some shade from the sun. when he caught sight of you, he beckoned you over with a smile.

“good morning, your highness” you said while joining him.

“and to you, y/n. did you sleep well? i’d noticed you’d drifted off so i brought you to a guest room, i really hope i didn’t impose”

you shook your head, heart warming at the thought of caring after you, “if anything, your highness, i should be the one to apologise”

“nonsense. this palace is as much yours as it is mine, in case you’ve forgotten, we are engaged to be married” he chuckled teasingly.

you’d spent that entire morning talking with mingyu, it felt nice. you’d been closer when you were younger but when mingyu was named the crown prince, you could only see each other so often. the morning with mingyu was nostalgic, but it also gave you hope and made you content with the future you would spend with him too.

mingyu eventually had to leave for another meeting and you were free to spend the day as you wished, mingyu insisting on it considering how tired yesterday had made you. he said you deserved a break.

you’d decided the best way to spend it would be heading back to town. it’d been a few days since you’ve truly done anything there, by the time you’d usually arrive home you’d be too exhausted to do anything.

upon your arrival, you’d been accompanied by a knight, you were unsure of his name but he gave you enough space. that’d been mingyu’s only rule for the day, that you were to be with a knight at all time for safety.

you looked around the town, waving and conversing with a few old friends, mainly congratulating you on the engagement, asking for any details but mainly, they were asking you about mingyu.

it was no surprise that there was a slight bitter tone whenever someone asked you about what mingyu was like, half the town probably wished they could learn what the prince was like for themselves.

by the time you finally had some time alone, well alone with just the knight, you saw a few carriages make there way into town. odd.

you looked toward the knight accompanying you, silently asking what is this to which he caught on pretty quick, “those are guests from the neighbouring kingdom. prince mingyu invited them for the ball that’s in a few days”

you nodded, slowly remembering the ball. you silently wondered if the tailors would exhaust you for hours to find a dress for that too.

you looked over at the carriages again, eyes catching sight of something, or well someone, familiar. waiting for the commotion to die down, you approached the carriages with the knight.

“seokmin?” you gasped.

“y/n!” seokmin smiled back at you, arms immediately engulfing you in a hug, “it’s been too long”

you and seokmin had grown up in town together, friends for a long time until his family decided to settle in the other kingdom. it looks like he’d finally become a knight like he’d dreamed of.

after he was given permission by the rest of the knights, he made his way with you, both of you reminiscing about memories you’d made in the town the second you saw anything.

“wow, so you’re prince mingyu’s fiancé. that’s unbelievable. but i am happy for you, he seems like a good man” seokmin smiled genuinely

“well i’d hope he’s a good man, he is the future king after all” you replied back laughing lightly, “enough about that though, look at you. a commander in the knights, that’s incredible”

the tips of your friends ears turned red as he laughed bashfully at your praise, “i suppose we’re both doing quite well then”

you continued your walk around town with seokmin, passing over a small bridge and looking over at a lake, “so seokmin, will you also be at the ball?” you turned to ask him.

“i believe so yes. mainly to accompany the princess”

ah so that was who was in the last carriage.

it was starting to get dark so you’d thought it was about time to head back. you bid farewell to seokmin and headed back to your home, heading straight to bed.

the next few days were mainly spent getting ready for the ball, except today.

today you were expected to attend a dinner with mingyu and his friends, when you had asked mingyu the occasion he explained that he enjoyed meeting with his friends regularly, and now was a good time to get you acquainted with them.

you were getting ready in the palace, the maids helping you and calming your nerves for tonight. you don’t know how mingyu was able to manage things like this since he was old enough to walk. when you were ready, mingyu arrived at your chambers to escort you to where the dinner was being held, immediately, you were greeted with the sights of all of mingyu’s friends.

you recognised a few, some of them grew up with you. some you had only met today but knew of them. and some you were seeing and hearing of for the first time today.

one person it particular caught your eye however, was the princess you’d seen from the photos in mingyu’s study.

how was she even more gorgeous in person?

she greeted you kindly and throughout the night was a delight, which made you feel even worse because how could you even dislike her? and how could you blame mingyu for falling for her?

you tried not to let your sour mood show to anyone, especially not mingyu, because you don’t know how you’d lie if he asked you what was the matter.

so you made sure for the rest of the night that you wouldn’t let any of your true feelings show, despite wanting nothing else but to cry.

you’d learnt that the princess had only arrived a few days ago for the ball, and was from the same kingdom as seokmin.

so she was the princess that seokmin would be escorting.

you’d decided to ask her about seokmin too, explaining that you were a childhood friend of his. she got excited at that, shocked at how small of a world it is.

when the dinner was finally wrapping up and guests were leaving, mingyu pulled you aside, “is everything alright? you were quite quiet the entire night”

you shook your head, blaming it simply on your nerves and apologised for potentially coming across as rude to his friends.

“nonsense. you shouldn’t apologise. i apologise for springing this dinner on you quite suddenly”

mingyu insisted on you staying the night at the palace, telling one of the maids to lead you there.

a few moments after you’d gotten ready for bed, you heard a knock on the door.

“come in” you said back, going toward the mirror, you looked to see mingyu in the reflection.

“your highness” you turned toward him, “can i help you?”

he said nothing as he took long strides to stand behind you.

he said nothing as he slowly started to take your necklace off for you, as he slowly took off the rest of your jewellery too, one by one.

when he was done he smiled at your confused look, “so you don’t hurt yourself again”

you were surprised at how he remembered and let the first genuine smile make its way onto your face that night.

today was the day of the ball. you were incredibly scared because today would be the day where everyone learnt exactly who the crown prince’s fiancé was. as of right now, you were a stranger to most of the public. your family was well known, and it wasn’t like the engagement was a secret, but majority of people didn’t know exactly who you were.

most of the day was spent getting you ready, making sure your dress was perfect along with the makeup, hair, jewellery, shoes and just everything.

you really couldn’t wait for this to be over.

you’d been to balls before so you were luckily able to skip the butlers teaching you the waltz.

before the guests had arrived, mingyu’s friends had arrived early. the princess also arrived early, along with seokmin. you smiled at him and introduced him to mingyu, smiling even wider as they started to get along.

seokmin had already left by the time you’d met mingyu for the first time, so this was the first time they’d ever met.

minghao had also arrived, greeting you with a smile and congratulating you personally on the engagement.

the guests were to start arriving soon and a maid had informed you to stay with mingyu for the time being, but when you looked around you couldn’t spot him anywhere.

you’d asked a few of his friends, even asking seokmin and minghao while apologising for interrupting their conversation.

you’d decided to check outside of the ballroom too but still couldn’t spot him. worried, you tried to think logically.

in a room with this many guards, nothing could’ve happened.

as you continued looking around you heard giggling, mingyu’s. and someone else’s. you had an idea of who but you really didn’t want to admit it.

but as much as you’d want to convince yourself, you couldn’t erase that it was reality.

you found mingyu. he was with that same princess, they were hugging, she’d kissed his cheek too. he looked at her with such a fondness that you could never deny. and who were you to get in the way of that? who were you to stand in the way of two people so clearly in love?

there was a part of the hallway that was empty that you decided to stand in for a few minutes, collecting your thoughts.

he was so cruel.

how could he be so in love with someone while he was engaged to you? how could he make you fall so hard for him while he knew he’d never feel the same?

you couldn’t take this anymore, when you heard footsteps approaching you snapped your head in the direction.

there he was, “y/n? is everything alright?”

“no. no not really” you murmured, letting out a deep breath.

he frowned slightly, coming closer to your side to rub your shoulder, “what hap-“

“i’d like to call off this engagement.” you kept your arm away from him.

“what? what on earth are you talking about?” he looked angry, but he was controlling himself, “you can’t just suddenly say that”

“i can. nobody could ever force me to marry you, your highness. and i refuse to marry someone like you” you looked at him coldly as you started to walk away.

you didn’t think mingyu would stop you and you were right, because while you walked out he didn’t make any move to stop you, to ask you anything, he didn’t even try to look upset. and that was reason enough for you to never look back.

you didn’t try going back to the palace after that, you didn’t even try finding out what happened for the rest of that night. if it was up to you, you’d forget everything about the last few weeks, he’ll even the last few years. if it was up to you, you’d never meet mingyu, you’d never fall for him either. oh how much better life would’ve been if you could simply turn back time every once in a while.

it dawned on you however how irrational you were being, guilt ate you up when you realised how your actions could jeopardise your family’s relationship with the royal family. however you couldn’t bring yourself to truly regret it. you’d rather be an outcast by your own choice than an outcast in what was supposed to become your home. and you’d loathe being an outcast in your own marriage.

for a few weeks you didn’t try meeting anyone, you hadn’t told anyone about what you did either, mingyu would likely take care of it anyway. so you allowed yourself these few weeks of peace, nobody there who you have to explain yourself to.

“you still haven’t heard anything about her?” minghao asked his friend warily, “this makes no sense. how does someone just go missing?”

missing. well if you were really missing you would’ve been found by now. and if you were really missing then an actual search party would’ve been sent, not just mingyu looking around day and night going mad trying to find any glimpse of you.

the look on your face that night broke mingyu’s heart, so how could he tell everyone the truth after that? he knew that the court would become too hasty and would cut all ties with your family immediately for apparently ‘disrespecting our monarch’. and how could he do that knowing he already hurt you enough?

mingyu was unsure what he really did, but what else could make you look at him like that? from looks of adoration to a cold, inconceivable glare. part of him hated himself for bringing you to such a state.

“how she went missing doesn’t matter. just as long as i can bring her back.. that’s all that truly matters to me” he said slowly, although he knows you weren’t in any real danger that night, he can’t help but grow paranoid at what happened to you since.

ignoring him was one thing, but ignoring your family too was another. he’d even tried asking seokmin and miyeon if they’d heard anything.

the court elders have been pestering him for days, saying that it’s no use trying to find you, that he should call off the engagement officially and just find a new suitor. but how could he when he only had eyes for you.

mingyu was seven when he’d first met you, you who shyly waved at him when your parents introduced you to him. you who at seven years old asked him if he could ride horses, and fight battles, and have his own wizard, and save princesses because that’s what the princes in your stories would do.

mingyu always enjoyed when you came over. you were the only one who was around his age. you were the only one who understood that he was a child too, he felt safe with you. he didn’t have to be the picture of perfection around you, because you wouldn’t belittle him for being a child. you’d never judge him for being himself. even when his friends would poke fun at him sometimes and he’d sulk, you’d always be there to cheer him up.

and when mingyu was eight and his hand started bleeding after he fell, you were the one who was worried for him, who ran to get him a bandage, who told him it’d be alright when he cried about how it hurts so bad. and you were the one who kissed his hand better for him and giggled when you said that usually the prince does the kissing when the girl is in pain.

and even a few months ago, when mingyu was told he’d have to marry soon, no matter how many suitors he’d meet, his mind would always be on you.

and that’s why mingyu’s whole world lit up the second you said yes when he proposed, but everything went dim the second he heard you say you’d never marry someone like him.

mingyu stood on the balcony that night, watching the views of the kingdom, it really was gorgeous. you’d have to be there somewhere. there were no carriages leaving or entering that mingyu didn’t know of, so unless you’ve managed to walk out of the town completely unnoticed, you’re somewhere there.

“you look terrible” he heard a voice behind him say.

he recognised it but couldn’t put his finger on it until he turned around, “seokmin, was it?”

seokmin nodded sending a short smile his way, he joined mingyu on the balcony, letting out a deep breath, “y/n where did you run off to?”

they both stayed quiet for a few seconds, seokmin glancing over at the other before sighing, “for the record, i really hope you’re not blaming yourself for this. because, really, it’s not your fault”

‘oh if only you knew the whole story’, mingyu thought, ‘you would’ve done something to me that would’ve had you executed in seconds’

seokmin continued looking over the city, before laughing lightly at something that caught his sight, “you see that cabin behind the bar? y/n and i used to joke that we’d settle there if we ever did anything to offend the nobles. she really used to get in trouble with them a lot back when we were children. she hated them, always having such strict rules for us. could only imagine how bad it must’ve been for you”

mingyu chuckled at that, despite being shy around him there was a reason he was able to be so carefree around you, and it was because of how much you worked your way around the strict rules laid out for you.

“she really did think highly of you, your highness. in our letters she’d mention the charming prince that was her favourite friend. i was actually quite jealous of you for stealing my spot quite frankly” the knight glared at the prince light heartedly, “i’ve wanted to fight you ever since i was ten”

the two were reminiscing about you for hours on that balcony, laughing with their new found friend.

that morning, you awoke with a headache. perhaps drinking last night wasn’t the best of ideas but it’d been the first time in weeks you’d felt anything but pain or self pity. the cabin was small, you’d stocked up on food before news of you going missing had spread, you weren’t sure what you were to do after that however. if you were lucky you’d be able to sneak around town wearing a cloak that would hide you well enough for some time. right before closing time would be ideal, there wouldn’t be many people around and it wouldn’t be considered odd for you to be walking around in a cloak.

that night, you secured the black cloth around you, basket looped around your arm before you stepped out and made your way around town.

ever since seokmin had told him about that cabin behind the bar, mingyu was sure you’d be there. he’d checked the properties he knew anyone in your family had owned, and even some that your friends’ families had owned only to come up with no luck. and as far as he knew, no recent land purchases were made.

the cabin was small, the only door being at the back, it creaked as it’d opened and when mingyu looked around all he saw was darkness, he didn’t have a candle to light the lamp either. the prince looked around for a few minutes, there weren’t many places to search and you weren’t anywhere. like that, mingyu became more hopeless. where else could you be?

he sat on the rotting floor, tears in his eyes threatening to spill as he realises he may have lost you forever.

you looked over at your basket, content with how much you were able to purchase. it was dark so even without the cloak it would’ve been hard for anyone to pinpoint who you were. opening the door to the cabin, you lit one of the freshly purchased matchsticks and use it light the lamp by the door, the room lighting up immediately.

when you looked forward the cabin was how you left it. starting to put some of your things away, you drowned out the sounds of the town at closing time, more and more patrons were heading into the pub and it tends to get noisiest around now.

one sound took you out of your daydreams however, the door opened. you quickly grabbed the cloak to wrap yourself in once again, turning around to see none other than mingyu standing there.

he looked like a mess. his eyes were bloodshot, he looked somewhat smaller than the last time you’d seen him, paler too.

you two stood staring at each other for a few seconds before mingyu came forward, eyes pleasing with you to not move away like you did last time.

“i’m so, so glad to see you” his voice cracked, “please even if you hate me, never leave like that again” he grasped your hands.

“glad to see me? wouldn’t you be more glad to see the princess?” you glared at him unimpressed.

truth be told it warmed your heart knowing mingyu genuinely cared about you, that he’d been worried about you, but you couldn’t forget the pain he’d put you in.

“the princess?” mingyu tilted his head confused, “y/n what.. what are you talking about?”

“i saw you that night. that night i left, i had tried finding you, and when i did i saw you with the princess, hugging, looking at her in a way you’d never look at me. because why would you look at me like that?” you couldn’t stop yourself from truly expressing how you feel, letting it bottle up for too long, “after all i suppose i really can’t blame you for you not loving me when i’ve- and why were you with the princess that night-“

“please allow me to explain. the princess is merely someone i’ve known since birth. and the princess is in love with minghao, i’ve been trying for years to get them acquainted and she was explaining to me that the duke had finally confessed to her”

you felt incredibly stupid, and incredibly guilty. you stayed silent for a few minutes trying to gather your words.

“my apologies, i shouldn’t have come here. i should have let you have your peace and i’ll be on my way-“

“no!” you shocked yourself with how instantly you had opposed him, “please no. mingyu- your highness. i apologise. i should have allowed you to explain, i could have avoided this. i humiliated you on account of my own insecurities, and it was childish of me to assume something”

“y/n, you can be honest with me” the prince looked at you earnestly, at that you allowed your tears to finally fall.

“it-it hurts. it’s hurts so much knowing i’d be tied to a marriage where only i was giving. and these last few weeks i’ve just been contemplating if it’s my own fault. if it’s my own fault that you’d never be able to look at me how i look at you. and it hurts knowing you’d never love me the same-“

you’d felt mingyu’s lips brush against yours slowly, for a second you’d think it wasn’t happening if it wasn’t for his hand circling your waist.

he slowly brought his lips away from you, both of you breathless, “does it still hurt?” he smiled at you.

“please, never assume that i don’t love you y/n. because i do. i truly do love you, and for the better part of my life i have. i’ve spent years dreaming of a day where i could finally have you to myself as someone i could spend years to come loving. and if i ever made you doubt that then i’m a fool, but please never blame yourself” he said gently, bringing his hand up so his knuckles could wipe at the tears spilling from your eyes, “i love you”

“i love you too” you smiled tearfully at him.

#mingyu x you #mingyu x reader #mingyu x y/n #kim mingyu x you #kim mingyu x reader #seventeen fluff #seventeen x reader #seventeen angst #seventeen x you

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v3nusxsky · 9 months

Note

Can you do a deja vu smut fuc with Larissa and reader? Like reader feels like one night she's invited into Larissa's office for some wine and a convo or just to hang out, and it leads to smut eventually, but it hasn't happened at all yet, and a few weeks later Larissa actually invites reader to her office to chill and hang out, and reader explains to Larissa that its feeling like deja vu. And idk where to go from there. I trust you'll make an amazing fiction like you always do. Love your work and I appreciate your skills, hope you have the good rest of the day.

Deja vu 18+

*Authors note~ I do have some experience in this so I hope it's what your after, as always lovely to receive a request from you*

Trigger warnings~smut Mommy kink toys shifted cock, wine praise kink oral unprotected p in v degrading kink, bondage Squirting

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

Basking in the glow from the fire you sat on her couch nursing what was your fourth glass of red wine that just so happened to be going down nicely. Much too nicely. Conversation with your blonde companion flowing as if this was a regular occurrence. But it wasn't. No, can't say you have ever been invited into your boss's personal space to have wine and relax together. But then again none of your bosses ever looked at you like she does, like she wants to devour you. Mindless prey just begging for her to take such good care of you.

Before you even knew it you were on her lap. Her hands on your hips and the forgotten empty bottles of wine on the floor. You were giggling about something that she said, the breath tickling her neck as your head rested there. Maybe it was the wine, or perhaps just desire that had been building for far too long. You didn't know, nor did you truly care. Sitting in Larissa Weems lap as she kissed you senseless was enough to make every thought over than her leave your brain.

Touching Larissa is like realising all you ever wanted was in reach, but her touching you? Heavenly. You couldn't help but feel like the most special girl in the world to have her face buried between your plush thighs. Hair falling down her shoulders even with your hands tugging at it in order to keep her there. Larissa is talented at everything she does, you knew that. But god her mouth was perfectly building you up to bliss as if it was designed just for your cunt.

"Beep beep beep beep!" Groggily you let your eyes flutter open to the cruel reality. Another dream. Well another sex dream. And about your boss as well. The same boss you had a meeting with in an hour. It wasn't the first time you'd dreamt of her pleasing you and you pleasing her, but that's all it had to be was a dream. There was no way that it would ever become reality. You wouldn't have enough time to sort out the slick between your thighs now, so you settled for a quick cold shower before dressing for work.

These dreams had been happening for weeks now, you'd end up in the same state every morning, although some parts of the dream would fade and change, she never left. It was always here and truthfully you were a little concerned at all the filthy things your mind would conjure up now. It made looking her in the face rather difficult. It almost turned you on how much you were dreaming of the unsuspecting women. But if she had known, oh the shy submissive would've came out to play too.

"You seem to be distracted professor, perhaps you need an evening to unwind" Larissa suggested at the end of the meeting and all you could do was murmur to yourself, "More than you know." "Would you care to join me this evening for some wine?" You couldn't help but choke on thin air, this couldn't be. You don't remember falling asleep? But it's the same story as normal. You gave her a quick yes thank you and fled the office, knowing you would be back there later meant you really had to sort yourself out now.

You were still waiting to wake up, you had to wake up soon, yet you didn't. You found yourself back at her door, this time waiting to be let in. You nervously swiped your hands on the sides of your legs before entering her office again. The sense of Deja vu hitting you again. Two glasses of wine sat awaiting you and Larissa already perched on the sofa looking like a goddess. "Come in darling, take a seat" she murmured gesturing to the spot next to her and the wine. "Thank you principal Weems." Taking a nervous swig of your wine you thanked the woman for such a generous invitation. "You looked stressed darling, I want to make sure my favourite staff member is being properly de stressed" she all but purred causing you to giggle, "and what do you suggest Principal Weems?"

She immediately reassured you that Larissa was just fine out of school hours and the back and forth teasing continued. Despite the pleasant conversation and the bottles of wine you couldn't quite seem to fully relax. Larissa seemed to notice this and in your tipsy state she managed to sit you on her lap allowing your head to slot into her neck. A hand coming up to rub gentle soothing circles on your back. "You can relax with me love" was all she offered you, causing you to release a pleased hum.

A quick little peck was placed on the column of the blondes neck in a thoughtless thanks causing the blonde to gain more confidence, a hand under your chin to to guide your lips to hers in a sweet kiss. Finally feeling the sensation of her lips on yours immediately drove you insane. It didn't take long or much convincing for you to ever so slightly roll your hips against her. "Darling" she murmured pulling away from your addictive lips, "are you drunk?" It was cute she cares but you shook your head and whined before capturing her lips with yours. A clear indication you didn't want to stop. "Such a needy girl hmm? What do you need darling?"

"Fuck me mommy!" You mewled letting another frustrated whine out when she removed you from her lap to stand up. Luckily it wouldn't be for long as she lead you to her room, mumbling something about how you are worth much more than sofa sex. The woman immediately shredded both of your clothing before gaining more consent to have her wicked way with you. You happily gave her that and that's how you ended up where you are right now.

All those dreams didn't do this any justice. Larissa having her way with you was way more than what the dreams were. The woman had you bound to the bed, a vibe strapped to your clit, working ruthlessly as she rutted against your mouth. Any cries of pleasure was muffled but her pussy as she worked herself to bliss, something she wouldn't allow you just yet. Larissa using you for her own pleasure is no longer a want, but now a need. "Oh fuck darling, there. That's it good girl such a good girl for mommy" she mewled above you reaching her peak.

Once Larissa moved off your face with shaky legs you thought she'd take some pity on your now red and puffy cunt. "Mommy, please" you whined causing the blonde to chuckle, "such a sweet needy girl for mommy hun? The vibrations from the toy were absolutely relentless as the blonde stood there watching your little hole quivering around thin air. The feeling of deja vu at the way she taunted and teased you in such a position was hard to ignore. Until Larissa gave you more.

During the previous bliss she'd pulled from you, the blonde shifted her own soaked core into a 8 inch girthy cock. "You are such a good little slut i thought you deserved to take my dick darling" she murmured before bringing her lips to your neck sucking harshly on your pulse point while she rubbed the head of her cock through your soaked folds. The sudden intrusion of her snuggly buried in your inner walls fold by a gasp, "Needy girl, such a greedy cunt sucking mommys dick into your cunt without my permission baby." You gasped in shock and stuttered out a "sorry I didn't mean to mommy" before she began to fuck you hard.

In your dreams she would bend you over and pound into you from behind or like now you'd have a leg slipped up to her waist as she drilled into you, one hand playing with your breast. Every single thought left your head now, you didn't care anymore what was real and what was a dream, all you cared about is pleasing the blonde woman. The way she was drilling into your cunt told you she was feeling the same way being spurred on by your moans and mewls of need.

The moment you came again you saw stars, a gush of liquid soaking both you and your lover in your cum as she brought you back down from heaven. "Shhh darling you did so so well for me love" she whispered before easing out of your centre. Her reassurances never faltered as she helped you get clean and redressed in some comfy clothes of her own. Then leading you to her bed where she held you in her arms until you both slept. It would be spoken about tomorrow but for now you'd realised that sometimes Deja vu isn't so bad.

Word count~ 1655

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #anon requested #fanfic #larissa weems #larissa x y/n #principal larissa weems #larissa weems smut #larissa x reader #principal larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x reader #larissa x you #principal weems #weems x reader #weems #weems smut

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

Lo'ak x Omatikaya!Reader

Warnings: angst, suggestive language, cursing

Word count: 3,1k words

Notes: surprise!! here I am once more writing things outside of what I had planned to, but people have been asking for a Lo'ak story and you know me besties, I aim to please. I really loved writing Lo'ak in my Cardigan series, so I'm excited about this. enjoy x

Na'vi words used: ma 'ite - daughter; sa'nok - mother; skxawng - idiot; tsantu - good guy, txepvi - spark

next part (x)

He was sunshine, I was midnight rain He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain He wanted a bride, I was making my own name He stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight

You and Lo’ak have been friends for longer than you can remember. Literally. You couldn’t remember becoming friends, because, as Neytiri loves reminding you both, your connection was immediate and permanent.

“Did you know, ma ‘ite, that you and Lo’ak held hands for the first time when you had just been born? Yes, yes… he was just a few months old when we brought him by as you were born, and your little fingers wrapped around him when he reached out for you. You were so tiny, the most precious baby. And I’m pretty sure my son fell in love with you that day.”

“SA’NOK!”

You laughed as Lo’ak’s face dropped in shock, and smiled almost bashfully as he shuddered when your fingers made contact with the freckles on his cheek, that shone brighter than they normally do, probably due to the deep contrast between them and the new shade of purple that signalled a beautiful blush, that you could never get used to, no matter how many times you have seen it through the years.

“Oh, son, am I embarrassing you?”

He huffed and got up from where he stood, and you joined in as all the family starting laughing at the beautiful boy that left the tent stomping, his tail swishing furiously behind him.

You scoffed softly and followed him, rolling your eyes as Spider made kissy noises and Neteyam chuckled to himself.

“Wait up, skxawng.”

“I’m so damn tired of being my family’s clown.”

“Oh, Lo’ak…” you caught up to him outside of the village, and took his hand in yours to stop him in his tracks. He didn’t look at you, even as you manoeuvred around him to come face to face with this boy the you loved so much, this boy who knew you, who you knew, who will always be everything to you.

“You’re nobody’s clown, Lo'ak. We all love you so much, but you take things too seriously. It wouldn’t be funny if you didn’t get so upset about it. What’s so bad about your mother said? I think it’s sweet.”

Your hand trailed up his arm slowly, and you saw goosebumps appear in its wake, and you smiled at the reaction his body had to your touch. Your hand stopped as it reached his face, that you caressed, and his lips, lips that you’ve dreamt about, that you loved the thought of, that you could feel on yours in dreams and wishful reveries. The same purple tint took over his features once more, and you couldn’t help yourself, couldn’t help the way your face inched closer to his, closer and closer, until your lips touched. It was so soft - the kiss, his lips, the feelings that enveloped you. It felt like home. He felt like home.

“I think you’re sweet. And I think I fell in love with you the day I was born, too. I think it's always been you, Lo’ak.”

He could no longer be upset at his mother after that, not when her meddling led to the happiest day of his life.

Lo’ak loved watching you get ready for battle. How could he not, when your body, tall and supple, a body that had such grace and elegance to it, he felt everyone else in the world would be privileged to ever get to see, was now covered in war paint that complimented your blue skin so well. Orange and yellow lines travelled from your face to your neck, and Lo’ak stood there, mouth agape, once again needing to thank Eywa for whatever luck or happenstance brought you in his life.

You looked up at him, a mischievous gleam in your big yellow eyes, one that he knew too well, one that seemed ever-present on your face. This look and all it encompassed is why he called you what he did. Txepvi. Spark. His spark. As much as his family gave him grief about his own behaviour, about this recklessness and propensity to get himself into trouble, you were worse - much worse. Always looking for adventure, for danger, for adrenaline rushes that electrified your senses and set your body ablaze. You told him once that you needed it, needed this. That it made you feel alive. You always said there has to be more to life than sitting in the village every day, learning to weave, learning about plants and how to best combine them to make pastes and ointments. You were bored easily, bored of the same mundane, of the same routines, so you always looked for new ones. And you got exactly what you wanted when the Sky People returned.

Lo’ak knows you hated it, hated them, that you would have happily watched all of them die at your hands, but he also knew that deep down you loved it. Loved how each day was a new challenge, was a new opportunity to prove to yourself, and to him, and to the Olo’eyktan, that you were an asset, that you would be worthy of one day of being Neytiri’s successor, of your parents’ legacy as warriors that gave their lives in the war that came to their doorstep so many years ago.

“I want you to mark me. You always bring me good luck. And I need it today. I want your hand on me, on my heart. I need a reminder of what’s good in the world. Of what’s mine.”

Lo’ak’s heart was booming in his ears at your words. You have always been brave. You had a strong heart. You always knew your own mind, always knew what you wanted, who you wanted. And he still couldn’t believe his luck that what you wanted was him. You pushed the bowl of paint towards him and eyed him expectantly, and he obliged you. He placed his five-fingered hand palm first in the bowl and watched as the paint dripped back in it as he removed it, trying to shake off the excess so it doesn’t mess with the design already on your body. Trying to calm his thoughts, he placed his hand on your chest, right in between your breasts, and felt your own heart beating loudly against him, and he smirked, placated in knowing he wasn’t the only one whose emotions were running wild, whose desires were pulsating through every fibre of his being.

“I still think it’s unfair you get to fight while I am still stuck being a spotter. You’re younger than me, for fuck’s sake.”

“I’m better than you, ma tsantu, how many times do I have to prove it to you?”

He scoffed, and tugged at your beaded top until your lips connected, the white paint on your lips smudged and diffused now, coating his own, and he didn’t care. He thought it was fair, that there were physical traces of you on him, coating his body like you did his being, his heart and soul. Your tongue traced his bottom lip and explored and he let you, meeting you halfway, a messy needy dance that left him panting and weak. He kissed you to shut you up, but now he was the one speechless. How did this always happen?

You pecked him once more, then moved to reapply the painting that had just been erased. He could hear the small smile in your voice as you spoke.

“Your father loves you. He doesn’t want you to put yourself at risk. He doesn’t want you to get hurt, and doesn’t want Neteyam to get hurt trying to protect you, like he always does. He doesn’t have the same compulsions with me. That's why you're a spotter and I'm not.”

You grinned at him, your large, sharp canines coming into view, and he yelped a little as you directed them to his neck, biting on it until a sharp sting traveled through his body. You licked the blood that came out of the two small puncture wounds and he shuddered at your touch.

“Come, mighty warrior. Let’s go show them what happens when they mess with the Omatikaya.”

It was surreal to you, how much life changed, how fast life changes. It seemed like yesterday that you were swinging through the trees of the Omatikaya forest, innocent and mild, just happy to exist, happy to be alive, happy that there was air in your lungs and sun shining through the leaves and hitting your bare skin, that soaked it all, that loved it, loved every ray, loved it all. You were different now, so different you could barely recognise yourself. You don’t know if child you would have liked the current you… or vice versa. Current you wanted more. More than just the forest, more than just being, and existing peacefully, more than what every other Omatikaya seemed to be satisfied with. You wanted chaos, and pain. You wanted deep, earth-shattering experiences, you wanted life to course through your veins like ice water through the stream near the village. You wanted to fly and you wanted to fall, you wanted to be remembered, you wanted to be revered. You wanted everything.

You knew the Sullys would be angry at you for taking their son away again, for bringing him along with you on one of your unprompted and unplanned trips, where you just got on your ikran and didn’t look back for days, until you discovered something new, something more than what you knew. It was your favourite thing to do, outside of what you were currently doing, limbs tangled with this boy that brought light to your life, and shivers down your spine.

“I can’t believe this place. It might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, present company excluded, of course.”

You giggled and propped yourself up on your elbows, looking at the beach that surrounded your entire line of sight, on this beautiful small tropical island. You flew until you reached the Eastern Sea, and your sights both locked on this little slice of Paradise, that felt so isolated, so wild and untamed, so untouched by Na’vi or animals alike, and you knew this was the place to spend the night, with nothing but the endless stars watching over you. You never got to see the sky like this in the forest, so clear and unperturbed by all the trees obstructing the view - yet another reason you loved your little adventures.

“My dad’s going to kill me when I get home, you know? And then he’ll kill you.”

“I know. But that’s a problem for future me. Present me wants to swim in the ocean, and she wants you to join me. She’ll show you a good time. You won’t think about your dad anymore by the end, I promise.”

He growled lowly at your words, and followed you as you got up and ran into the water, diving for its depths, revelling in this feeling you hoped would never end, and in his presence, that quieted the tumult that was ever-present in your mind. You loved him. He was your home, your calm. He was the best thing in the world, and he was yours.

You felt nervous as Lo'ak entered your tent, a troubled, tearful look on his face, one that meant danger, one that meant hurt, for both of you.

“Dad says we have to go. I have to go.”

Your mind went blank at his words, a new feeling for you. You couldn’t quite understand what he was telling you.

“Go? Go where?”

“The Metkayina. He says we’re to start a new life there.”

“But… but you can’t go. He’s the Olo’eyktan, he’s the Toruk Makto. You can’t just up and leave us.”

You watched as Lo’ak’s face changed from sorrow to anger, directed at you, at his father, at the world - you couldn’t quite tell.

“Do you think I want to fucking go? Do you think I chose this? I don’t get to choose what happens, none of us do, but this is happening.”

You felt tears pricking at your eyes painfully, but you couldn't shed them yet, not when it felt like there was still so much heartbreak still waiting to ambush you.

“So you’re just going to leave me? Leave what we have behind?”

His eyes softened at your words, as he approached you and his hands immediately found your face, the face he adored more than everything else in the world.

“Of course not. I could never leave you. I love you. I’ve loved you my whole life, I have dreamt about your life woven with mine for as long as I can remember. I have always known you were the one, the only one. I never had the courage to tell you, but you did. You told me, and you kissed me, and I am so grateful. So grateful that you chose me, so grateful that I get to know that you’re mine, that our children will be the best warriors this clan has ever seen, just like their mother is.”

Your heart fluttered upon hearing his confession, and a smile swiftly replaced your deep frown and stubborn tears. You couldn’t help tightening your arms around his waist and pulling his body into yours, until you felt every crevice, every indentation, every scar and mark on it, until you were so close you felt like you were becoming one, unable to ever be separated again.

“I don’t understand, Lo’ak. What are you saying?”

“I want you to come with me. You have to come with me. I can’t live without you, and I know you feel the same. We have to be together, and this way we get to.”

It quickly felt like the world quieted around you, dead quiet, like a grave or an unopened tomb, like no life has ever touched it.

You have to come with me. I can’t live without you.

You didn’t notice your arms dropped sluggishly to your side until Lo’ak grabbed them and tugged at them, at you, trying to pull you out of your lethargic state.

“Ma txepvi… please say you’ll come. Please.” He was pleading now, anguish coating every word as he was pushing them out, and you felt it all, deep within your soul, you felt it overtaking you too, felt it killing you as you knew what you had to do, knew what you had to say.

“No.”

As soon as the word escaped your lips, so did a pained sob escape Lo’ak’s.

“No?”

And there they were, the tears, the hot tears that stung each inch of your body they travelled down to, the tears that signified the end of childhood, the end of peace, the end of your life as you knew it, of happiness as you dreamt it.

“I can’t, Lo’ak. You can’t ask this of me. You know me, you know me better than anyone else. You want me to give up everything I have worked so hard for, everything I have yearned for, everything that’s finally within my grasp, all of it, to come and be at the Metkayina’s beck and call? To be a trainee again, to be useless again? To give up my bow, my mother’s bow, and pick up a spear, to give up my ikran, my sister, for some sea creature that will never compare?”

He was crying, too, painfully tugging at your arms, hoping that by doing so, you wouldn’t leave him, you would change your mind, you wouldn’t do what he feared you would, what he always dreaded. He always wondered if he would ever be enough for you, and he was terrified that, each moment passed, it seemed as if he got his answer, the monstrous answer he didn’t know if he could deal with.

“I’m asking you to be with me. I’m asking you to love me the way I love you, I am asking you to give us a chance to grow old together.”

The pain was shooting through your body like a lightning hit, powerful and all-consuming, and you felt as though you were going to drown in your own tears, and you would welcome it, welcome the sudden death, welcome the chance to be put out of your misery. This is what you wanted, you thought bitterly to yourself. You always wanted pain and hurt. You wanted to feel alive. Now you did. So alive it felt like death, it felt like your demise, it felt like everything and nothing, like the beginning and the end.

“I love you. I will always love you. And I am sorry. But I am more than this. I have more to give to the world, to this clan, than just myself to you. Someone has to stay behind and protect the people when your whole family is gone. Someone has to stay and fight. There’s still so much of the world I’ve yet to see, so much of myself I have yet to meet. I can’t let you take that away from me, Lo’ak. I’m sorry.”

You didn't wait for his response as you removed your body from his grasp, that all of a sudden felt trapping, felt suffocating, and took off, leaving nothing but heartache and the shattered promises of a picture perfect future, of love and a shiny family, of a life worth living, but one that wasn't yours.

"Good job today. It's been tough dealing with the demons on our own, without our Toruk Makto, but you're doing great. You're indispensable to our clan, to this village. I hope you know that."

"I know, Tarsem. Thank you." you brought your fingers to your forehead and bode the new Olo'eyktan and the Tsa'hik a goodnight, and made your way out of the tent quietly.

This place felt empty in the months following their departure... his departure. You felt his absence in your every bone. You felt it in the loneliness that haunted you every night, in your body that ached for his touch and warmth, in your mind that never knew peace, not anymore. You wondered if he felt the same. If he ever thought about you, about what you had. You wondered if he's doing well, adapting well, if he found himself a girl, quiet and beautiful, smart and kind, that wanted everything you didn't, that was able to fill the hole you left behind. You hoped he did. You hoped he didn't.

I guess sometimes we all get Just what we wanted And I never think of him Except on midnights like this

dk about a p2 but we'll see how my besties feel x

thank you @firefly-graphics for the dividers xo

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dreamwritersworld · 1 year

Text

On my own… part 2 (sully family x reader)

There’s a reason why the word ‘dreams’ got Jake so upset when it came out of Y/n’s mouth, it’s all the child ever talked about.

*7 year old Y/n*

It was just Jake and Y/n in the home since Neytiri decided to take the boys and Kiri on a trip to some area in the forest she used to visit since Jake wasn’t up and he had a headache Y/n offered to stay home to cheer him up!

“I want to fly! Be strong and conquer the world! I will some day, it’s all I’ve ever dreamt of! Doesn’t it sound beautiful dad? Eywa told me through my dream! I mean really it-“

Jake couldn’t hear Y/n talk anymore, about a life she won’t ever realistically achieve, it was his final straw when she said Eywa sent her the dream.

“Y/n how could Eywa even send you a dream like that, it is not real.”

Y/n gave a surprised face to her father’s louder voice but she decided to ignore it maybe…he didn’t mean it?

“Oh..well I believe it’s real sir! You can achieve dreams if you just push for them! It’s brings such happiness-“

Unfortunately for the child she was not his cure to any of his happiness and only caused his headache to linger around longer and hurt more well, since they were alone…it didn’t exactly end well for Y/n.

“Eywa doesn’t send you dreams! They are not real!”

Instantly the child who didn’t like the loud noise and yelling, started crying. She flinched at her fathers hand that raised towards her..

“Ok!”

“They aren’t real Y/n! And your dreams…they’re just fucking dreams! Do you understand me?”

“Yes!”

“Say if I want to hear you say it!”

“My dreams are just dreams!”

“Say it again!”

“My dreams are just dreams!”

Jake had nodded off to the girl before turning back around to the meal he was eating while Y/n slowly walked back to her hammock with tears falling down quickly.

You see? Y/n wasn’t always able to handle Jake’s outbursts…but now it seems as though it’s easy for her

I ran faster than I ever have before adrenaline was the only thing keeping me stable…None of this was supposed to go out this way, they were supposed to be right beside me…and if I die tonight would I do it again…? I never knew how much anger could lie in me, not until this moment…I’m just so upset and scared. I have no one. I have nobody to run to for a hug, to hear a congratulations from or fly with at the end of my ceremony. Neteyam, Lo’ak and Kiri had that…so why can’t I? Does my father really I’m that incapable? Mother just stood there watching the entire thing…we weren’t always like this, with father yes but at one point my mother cared.

And my siblings faces? You can completely tell they realized before they were forced to leave, that my father was willing to go far…just to break me from asking again…to risk me sacrificing myself for something that could be done the right way without me having to die as a second choice?! …was it obvious to everybody else? That I’d fallen for a lie…the fact that our father couldn’t find it in his heart to give me what I deserve.

Forget it, I just need to get through this so I can prove them wrong and show them that I don’t need any ounce of their disrespect anymore.

It was pitch black and as if it wasn’t bad enough I didn’t have anything to secure that I’d actually do this on my own.

I just put my hand out and used my feet to memorize my surroundings, I was used to doing this in a way…I trained myself to be in the dark because, dad used to wake me up in the middle of the night after being upset at me a couple hours before and he’d tell me to sit in the dark somewhat farther back from our home, in the pitch black…so I’d have to find my way back home..

If we’re being quite honest I’m doing great! This isn’t that difficult-

Screeches and warrior like cries can be heard from an ikran nearby, ok this is it…sounds a little too loud and aggressive to be a regular Ikran..but ok..

I reach for what feels like the neck and try holding on until it threw me to the wall, pulled me back in a little too agresssive and suddenly I was flying….without an ikran.

Panic rushed in as I beg for Eywa to save me. For a moment there I was going to faint but I felt an ikran sweep from under me thrashing me around but catching me everytime before I fall…this ikran really isn’t giving up on me, I won’t either not now, not ever. I hold on tighter holding it by it’s neck and quickly make tsaheylu.

I can feel everything, it’s frustration, sadness overwhelmed happiness, and eagerness to just fly. So I gave the ikran and i what we needed i flipped and did tricks while the excitement rush through us. It was ok to be on the edge of it all…but you must always bring yourself back in.

After awhile I decided I flew pretty far so I found a bright place to sit so I can get a proper look at my ikran and get some rest.

“I’m gonna take a better look at you buddy! I just want my eyes to be closed before I see you so bare with me please!” I jumped off and accidentally slid down its huge wing. “Woah- you seem larger than I expected..”

I open my eyes once I hit the ground and right In front of me was a beautiful ikran, orange with beautiful dark red stripes on his wings…toruk makto.

“Oh my- you weren’t even supposed to be where I was at, you’re never in the Iknimaya mountains…you..you’re perfect!” he snuggled in towards me slightly. Tears rush into my eyes thinking about me achieving my dream and more.

“You chose me. Even when I was falling to my death you came back for me to keep fighting…you are where my loyalties lie.” I make tsaheylu once more to show my appreciation but to also feel his stories…he feels some sense of betrayal and confusion..towards my father.

My father caught him, used him for battle and then simply returned back to his regular ikran ‘bob’ as if toruk makto was nothing. He then showed me how he saw me from above, and watched me from afar…showing how he saw the way my father treated me…how they left me, and then he made me feel strong because he showed all my training I had done and all the work I was doing around the village…how I enjoyed taking some risks despite my past…the way I still smiled and showed respect towards others and ended with showing me how Eywa sent him to me…what surprised me the most is when he showed fire, I didn’t understand it but it reminded me that this entire time my body felt so warm and felt like my heart was on fire…burning.

Yes, I was very happy to finally have a bond but…when I looked around me and realized no one else was near me, I just gave out a stressful sigh before finally allowing myself to be free in my emotions…

*meanwhile back at home…*

“Ma’Jake w-why would you do that? She won’t-“

“Exactly she won’t make it , she knows that. In a few minutes she’s coming back just sit down and wait.”

The three siblings came back in the tent with a sleeping Tuk, all upset.

Lo’ak was the first to speak up for Y/n…

“Why would you do that dad? You’re asking for her to just die or get hurt? We have to go now.”

Jake now was reacting out of more anger

“You have no clue what she was sa-“

Neteyam was next to join the conversation…he was just so upset he didn’t even care what was coming out.

“We heard everything dad. Why are you asking that of her? Why do you make everything so hard for her? She has done nothing to you.” Neteyam was turning on his heels walking out the home to find Y/n….until he was yanked back

“You leave when I tell you to leave! Do you understand me? I will not risk you guys getting hurt for her choices. I gave her a choice she made the wrong one.”

“A choice?! What choice dad? You leave her with nothing and practically force her to do her Iknimaya under difficult circumstances knowing she can die!”

“Sit Down right now! And be quiet! I don’t want to hear it at all!”

The entire family went quiet and sat down, with rage still fueled inside them. All Neytiri could think about was her wrongs…did she really just allow her husband to send out their daughter?

*neytiri’s thoughts*

My vision is blurry and my heart hurts…why? For a daughter that holds deep secrets?….after the incident she was in when she was six, she didn’t come back the same. Her body was stronger, she did things quicker…and when she was emotional you can feel it radiating off of her, you can see these visions…like she’s showing you her present and her future, only by the touch of her skin. Jake said it was best to just stop her from having any emotions or being close to anyone else because he once saw her in the woods..scared and alone crawled up in a ball creating a ring of fire around her. I’m not even sure she remembers that, I let Jake handle everything with her…her punishments, her overwhelming emotions, all of it. He said it’s best.

I used to look at Y/n like she was my whole world…when she was just a baby still. Her skin was soft and she was beautiful! Oh and her smile, kindness, and the way she was able to love with her whole heart. Sensitive and stupid as Jake says…but had we gone too far on trying to protect her? Wouldn’t this make her emotions worse..? How could we keep pushing our daughter away?

Truth was Y/n wasn’t even adopted.. Jake said that even though Lo’ak and Y/n are twins, we would only show the clan Lo’ak as our biological child…make up a lie about two warriors, no one even bat an eye, believed everything we said. The reason we didn’t want it getting out was because at the time the scientists who were here wanted a biological daughter from Jake to help in their ‘experiments’. They said they would be able to make her strong, and connect with the world in many ways since Jake had Eywa by his side..a daughter would be considered more of a blessing in the scientists eyes. Stating that females were more vulnerable, gentle, sensitive so the results will be more apparent. She’d be able to produce a stronger version of Navi’s if she passed by Eywa herself..who was to guarantee that? So I made Jake deny all of it and they finally stopped asking, we never even bothered to tell her the truth…how would she react?

We even buried ourself deep in our own lie..we don’t treat her as our own.

Neytiri gets up after 15 minutes

“You go right now! Go look for Y/n. I will not wait here while my daughter is out there.” Jake turns to his wife in disbelief while Neytiri could careless.

“Go right now. If she isn’t here…I will not hesitate to blame you.”

Neytiri turned back around telling everyone else to just rest and that Y/n will be back soon with both Jake and herself.

Then they flew…it had felt like longing minutes and Y/n wasn’t anywhere. They had search everywhere, Neytiri’s heart started to burn…something or some part of y/n was still here, maybe Y/n had got her ikran and it was flying around.?

“Neytiri..we have looked everywhere, she will come h-“

“No! We will not rest until she makes it home.”

“She would not leave! Y/n will never leave, she loves her siblings too much.”

“Jake! She could be dead.”

Silence stayed between the two parents, jake contemplates everything..he was so upset with Y/n. He just keeps pushing forward to look more, to satisfy Neytiri’s sudden change in emotion towards Y/n.

While that was happening Neteyam had Lo’ak and Kiri hold everything down at home while he searched for Y/n. He flew farther out instead of staying close to home…If there was one other thing Y/n wanted it was to leave home..for some reason she never found it in her heart. He spotted a body laying on bioluminescent flowers..Y/n.

“Y/n! Wake up now. We are going home.”

She rose at the sound of her brother stern and yelling voice.

“…is he still mad?”

“Very. He’s looking for you with mom. She’s even madder. You could’ve died. How could you-“

“You don’t think I know that? You don’t think I’m frustrated with everything already so I need you to shame me too?”

“Right…that’s why you’re still here. Resting as if nothing is going on back home.”

“…I can’t go back. I thought it might be different this time…They will shut me out even more..I can’t do this. I’m so exhausted.”

Neteyam felt a sense of betrayal, Y/n always followed them, always remained loyal and now she doesn’t want to come home? He isn’t used to this ‘treatment’ and he doesn’t even taken into consideration that this was about their parents.

“This is all about you..”

Full irritation erupted in Y/n as she feels the burning in her heart start again..

“Yes! It’s about me! Ok? Cause it’s never about me and I’m finally making it about me. Haven’t i given enough? You do not know the full story Neteyam. Do not go around saying things you may regret, because I don’t need it. Not right now.”

“…What’s the full story?”

y/n never told anyone the way her dad spoke to her, how he pushed her around sometimes..She can’t tell Neteyam right now and her sorrow came back..

“please don’t ask that..you’re my brother and this may be the only time, that we can talk normally..he’ll punish me..”

“how y/n..? Just tell me.”

Sobs came from the girl, to Neteyam they sounded exactly the way she cried when she was little…always silently crying upset about something no one understood why, at least not him…he was the only one who knew Y/n would cry by herself.

“..I just…I can’t say it..”

Neteyam’s just went to hug Y/n and held her while she cried, facing the fact that she won’t ever tell him or anyone what was going on..

“…where is your ikran?”

Y/n calls out and toruk makto came flying in, she was panicking inside because something felt it was ready to burn…she tried controlling it but in a way she was running into the crossfire ..she didn’t even bother to see Neteyam’s reaction to toruk.

“Let’s just go please. I’m done.”

Then they flew back home…

!💕!

Fun fact!

Y/n considered not going back home yes, but she realized she shouldn’t run away from problems like her father

Toruk had always chosen Y/n! He wanted to bond with her as soon as she was old enough to get her ikran. His frustration with Jake only grew when he realized it was him who stopped her.

Lo’ak and Kiri were talking about how strange it was that their father easily put his hands on Y/n to hurt her..

Y/n doesn’t know that she has powers! She doesn’t remember because In those moments her mind goes blank.

Neteyam saw a small vision of fire but it was very faded because Y/n unknowingly got her powers under control as she grew!

Tag list: @noodlesfics @eywas-heir @itshype @zatarias-pandora @yeosxxx @arminsgfloll @tsireyak @neteyamforlife @aimsro @elegantkidfansoul @goodiesinthecloset21 @nikotokitaswife @bucky1235 @detectivesparrow @kikosaurscave @ssc7514 @destinylb @simp-erformarvelwomen @eirianna @ambria @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @lv9su @luciddasher @dakotali @httpjiikook @tainted-artist4161 @fanboyluvr @bat1212 @mxn14 @innersuitcasehairdoscissors @ducks118 @midnightliacr

#SoundCloud #jake sully x reader #neteyam x reader #loak x reader #neteyam sully #neytiri sully #sully family x reader #avatar loak #avatar the way of water #sully family x daughter reader #angst

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leclerc-s · 3 months

Text

track 001. …ready for it?

blurb masterlist // next

❝ wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted ❞

daniel ricciardo was a private person, you could ask anyone on the paddock if the australian was single and they would all answer, “not a clue.” he wasn’t the type to brag about his recent flings or how many girls he slept with. but to be fair, that wasn’t a statistic some drivers wanted out there.

when they first met daphne wondered why someone like him would have such a private life. what skeletons could he possibly be hiding? it left her with a few questions, like how many girls had he been with? how many hearts had he broken? how many of them had he left haunted, wondering with the possibility of what if? was daniel ricciardo going to be the worst heartbreak imaginable in her life?

❝ younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so, i see nothin’ better, i keep him forever ❞

she knew all about heartbreak and being left haunted by previous lovers. even now, years after her relationship with a specific someone, she felt the repercussions of it. she had tried dating someone 5 years younger than her and that also ended in heartbreak. note to self and to the people, maybe don't date someone who was previously on a talent show/boyband and known for being flirty.

daniel was older than her by a few months and if everyone knew, they'd immediately jump to conclusions about them and him. it was a vicious cycle daphne and her former lovers faced. the media always thought they knew her or her former lovers. but daphne knew there was nothing better than loving daniel ricciardo.

daphne jones had been in love before, but it had never been like this. it had never been so mind consuming, this love consumed her completely. he might've been younger than her recent ex-boyfriend, but there was nothing better than him, she wanted forever with him.

❝ in the middle of the night, in my dreams, i know i'm gonna be with you, so i take my time ❞

nights were always difficult for her, mae argued she was probably an insomniac. daphne wouldn't argue, but she simply couldn't sleep because she had too many thoughts running through her head. although, maybe that was the textbook definition of an insomniac. daphne couldn't help it, it wasn't her fault that her thoughts consumed her completely at night. in the middle of night, usually when daniel wasn't and she only had her cats to keep her company was when it got the worst.

but in her dreams, when she was able to sleep, she dreamt of daniel. it made her feel like a teenager in love again. she didn't want to rush this relationship, she wanted to take her time, get to know who daniel ricciardo truly was. if she rushed things, they would be doomed to never work out, they would be a flame that burnt too quickly, something neither of them wanted. they would take things slow, with her schedule and his demanding race schedule, they'd find the time for each other. perhaps, that's why they became best friends before ever falling in love with each other, or at least that's what the case was for daphne.

❝ every love i've known in comparison is a failure, i forget their names now ❞

daphne wasn't going to say she good at love, she had failed many times, or so the media says. she wasn't perfect, she had made mistakes, some bigger than others. but she knew one thing, every other love felt like a failure compared to daniel ricciardo. loving him made her forget the name of every person she had dated before him. she wasn’t quieter sure if that was a good thing or not, only time would tell.

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @sunflower-golden-vol6 @applopie @lorarri @mypage-myfandoms @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @cowboylikemets1989 @justtprachisblog @rmeddar123 @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @Mimolovescookies @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @prongsvault @kaa212 @anxxiousaries @julesbabey1 @julesbabey @georgeparisole @Smnthnclj @dan3avocado @melissayalene @nothanqks @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @chezmardybum @d3kstar @weekendlusting @anytimeanywherebitch-blog @ragioniera @burberryfilms @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

¡leclerc-s speaks! first blurb complete! yay! i'm not quite sure about the formatting for this just yet but i think i'm just going to pick lyrics out and write about the ones that i picked out. like i said, i don't know just yet.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

#leclerc-s #the honest series #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo x female oc #formula 1 #formula 1 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #f1 #f1 smau #f1 social media au #f1 instagram au #f1 fic

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nicoline1998enilocin · 3 months

Text

A new start

PAIRING ⇒ Husband!Ari Levinson x Wife!Fem!Reader

WORD COUNT ⇒ 1K

SUMMARY ⇒ You've always dreamt of turning your career around, starting in a new field. When you mention this idea to your husband, Ari, he is very supportive in the best way he knows how to be.

RATING ⇒ General (G)

WARNINGS/TAGS ⇒ Age gap (5-10 years), use of nickname (Beautiful)

REQUEST ⇒ @cevansbaby-dove Something for me being that i am nursing school can u write something (pick anyone chris has played or himself) in a fic of reader is having a stressful day about school and he helps her study for an exam she is nervous about (tons of cute things and smut if you want)

A/N ⇒ Thank you so much for this request, and I deeply apologize for taking this long to get around to it! I still hope you will love it, and thank you for your patience! @ccbsrmsf1 thank you so much for proofreading this one! 💜

EVENTS Masterlist ⇒ @fluffbruary ⇒ Caress Masterlist ⇒ @flufftober Flufftober '23 ⇒ Encouraging s.o. to reach a goal Masterlist ⇒ @ultimatechrisbingo ⇒ ''I like to be the exception''

Banners: Yours truly ⇒ Divider: @firefly-graphics ⇒ GIF: Source

Main Masterlist ⇒ Ari Levinson Masterlist

For the last six months, you haven’t been able to get the idea out of your head to switch fields. It’s not that you don’t enjoy being a teacher by any means, but something about being a nurse has intrigued you ever since your stay at the hospital almost a year ago.

You’ve been searching the internet for courses catching your eye and finally found one. You can do it in the evenings, so you can still work while following it. Now, all you can do is tell your husband about your plans.

“What’s going on in that brain of yours, Beautiful?” He asks as you sit at the dinner table, shoveling the food from one side to the next without actually taking a bite. You squeeze your eyes and find the courage to tell him what’s been circling through your head.

“I-it’s nothing, Ari,” you say with a smile, though it’s not very convincing. He can see something occupying your mind and won’t stop until he knows exactly what’s happening.

“Doesn’t look like nothin’ to me; you haven’t touched your food at all,” he answers with a raised brow, and that’s when you know you can’t keep it inside any longer. He reaches over the table to grab your hand, rubbing his thumb soothingly over your knuckles.

“I want to switch fields and become a nurse. I’ve been looking at fitting courses for the last six months, and I found one last week,” you tell him in a rushed breath, and the heat spreads over your cheeks, a mix of shyness and embarrassment taking over.

“Really? That’s amazing, Beautiful! If I’d known sooner, I would have helped you find a fitting course,” he says enthusiastically, and every single doubt you had melted away as you finally dare to look at your husband. He’s always been nothing short of supportive of you, and it makes your heart flutter every single time.

“So… You’re not mad at me for doing this? I know we have plans for our future, and this might get in the way of those,” you say softly, but Ari is sure to wipe every last doubt away.

“God, I would never be able to get mad at you for following your dreams, Beautiful! Just as long as you promise to put on a sexy nurse outfit for me now and again, I’ll be more than supportive of you,” he says with a wink, and a broad smile spreads over your face at his words.

“Deal!” And with that, you finally dive into your food, and Ari is glad you’re feeling better. During the rest of dinner, you tell him everything, and that night, he even helps you out as you’re signing up for the course, followed by a night of passion as he constantly tells you how proud he is of you.

The following day, you wake up in your husband’s arms, snuggled right into his chest, the hair tickling your cheek as his chest keeps rising and falling. His hand is caressing your back gently, pressing soft kisses on the crown of your head.

“Mornin’, Beautiful,” Ari says as he feels you stirring awake, and you lift your head to press a kiss to his soft, plump lips.

“Good morning,” you say before snuggling even closer to him, your naked bodies intertwined under the covers. You don’t want to get out of bed yet, and Ari seems to have the same plan as he pulls you closer, his beard tickling against your face as it makes you giggle. You will never get enough of moments like these.

“So, how does it feel to be starting nursing school soon?” Ari asks in his rough, deep morning voice, sending the butterflies in your stomach off.

“Good, been wanting this for so long that I’m thrilled I found the courage to tell you and sign up,” you tell him. You can’t wait to see what becoming a nurse will be like, and you’re excited to follow this path with your husband by your side.

The first few months of nursing school were going well, but now you have a critical exam coming up that has you stressed out beyond belief. You have studied the material inside and out for the last few weeks, but there are still some things that you can’t seem to remember.

You’re pacing through the living room with your notes in your hand, repeating everything out loud until they lose all their meaning altogether. When you’re about to give up, Ari walks in after working in his office all day, and he can see the nerves radiating off you from a mile away.

“I think it’s time for a break, Beautiful,” he says, walking over to you and wrapping his long arms around you, pulling you into his chest and calming you down.

“But I have to study, Ari! I can’t take a break,” you say, and he can see your bottom lip wobble slightly, tears threatening to spill over as the nerves begin to win the battle.

“Of course, you can, and I’ll take one with you, okay? Maybe we can watch an episode of your favorite series as I massage your feet and you drink some tea,” he offers, and you give in, not being able to say no to something so enticing.

“You know, whenever I talk to other people in my class, I sometimes get the feeling their partners aren’t even half as supportive as you are,” you tell him, and you groan as he massages your feet, and you melt into his touch.

“I like to be the exception, Beautiful,” he says, and with those words, you enjoy the rest of your massage before he helps you study, and with his help, the last information is quickly saved into your brain, too.

When you get your exam results a week later, you can’t wait to tell him.

“Ari, Ari! Guess what?! I passed my exam because of you!” You say as you jump into his arms, and he hugs you close, pressing kisses on your neck as he tells you how proud he is. Not long after, he’s making you fall apart the best way he knows how.

“I’m proud of you, Beautiful, and I can’t wait to have my sexy nurse take care of me soon,” he whispers in your ear before going for round two.

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picturesofthegoneworlds · 3 months

Text

When Imogen wakes it is with an ache in her neck

a drop into reality unusually cushioned

a hand combing through her hair

and she can’t help the smile that breaks when she meets Laudna’s watchful eyes peering down at her, flushes shortly after.

“Sorry, did I fall asleep?”

Laudna smiles back at her, halts the hand playing with her hair.

“You did.”

An unspoken mutual agreement allows the moment to stretch in silence –

that or time is still fucky from Imogen only just waking up. It gives her enough of it to contemplate.

The sun must be high, the atmosphere muggy and the fauna all bustling as if it were a market day and the critters had stalls to set up and produce to bring home for their litters in the burrows. She feels the layer of sweat on her skin wherever the sun directly touches it, smells in waves where it heats the floor and diffuses the groundcover as if it were potpourri-

Above her, backlit - Laudna’s wearing a halo. The giant leaves of the giant trees are so high above them that the scale almost looks normal, the light breaking between the canopy in beams, sparkling in places where it catches insect wings and pollen, silhouetting edges of wiry strands of hair that act as though curtains on a canopy bed, all giving cover from the storm (should it come). It all feels so hazy, could be the vision starting to turn to grains of sand in her eyes like before a migraine but it’s also unusually clear, her head weightless despite the aching neck – funny what a handful of hours of good sleep can do.

The unspoken mutual agreement is ended.

“Did you rest well?” what did you dream about?

“I did, yeah...”

Unintentional, excusable really - waking with her defences down.

Wouldn’t be outta the ordinary to share.

“…dreamt we were back at Oddrún’s, was nice-” she withholds the details, just to save a little face. Exposes it anyhow, when she finds herself inadvertently taking the hand that had stilled in her hair, holding her palm up above her head with Laudna's lying flat on top of it “-then the roof caved in again and the place got swarmed with birds.”

“Birds?”

Imogen's thumb traces the knife-edge of the long nail on Laudna’s.

“Birds.” Imogen confirms, distracted, half-awake, giddy. The word already sounds funny; thrown back and forth between them. She chuckles at how her lips form around the repetition of it, says it again in Marquesian to see if it feels as abstract- that causes Laudna to quirk her brow from behind the fan of their fingers. “All different kinds, real cute and stuff, mostly. Place got furnished in feathers, was pretty chaotic - parakeets nestin’ in the cups and saucers and kingfishers in the rafters…” Laudna exhales a single syllable of a choral chuckle and Imogen has never felt so relaxed. “There was a kinda shady lookin’ big one standin’ on one leg in the corner by the hearth though, kept squawkin’.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, think it was a shoebill. You ever seen one of those?”

“You know, I’m not sure. I wonder if there was any significance…”

Their fingers interlace, under Laudna's initiative. Imogen stares at the long nails now reaching to her wrist like plates of fine ebony gauntlets.

“I could try draw it for y’all, but I don’t think it’d help…” comes out audibly distracted, the points of Laudna's talons gently making contact with Imogen's scarred skin-

“Allow me to get my notebook~” Laudna enthusiastically sings – nearly cutting Imogen, their hands separating - and Imogen is left staring at the empty space that was occupied by the shape that the two of them made, wonders if there is a word for that, like ‘bird’ - each hand a wing of some amalgamation, dream chimera, released between palms.

Probably a word she doesn’t have the language for.

Laudna unthreaded their hands and after that, she doesn’t move.

Imogen remembers her position in her lap

sits up abruptly on her bedroll, turning back towards Laudna’s skirts with the same instinct as for making a bed

“No, really, I can’t draw. It’ll just be embarrassin’. It won’t help any.”

“It’s good to draw regardless-”

Imogen would call what falls on Laudna’s face a pout. Hates that she is, unsurprisingly, intrigued to see what lines the pages of Laudna’s notebook. Apparently hearing inside her head is not enough.

Greedy. (maybe she’s hungry?). Gods, Laudna’s been sat cross-legged with Imogen's thick heavy skull in her lap for hours. How does Imogen show her gratitude?

“-have you even eaten? I should make us breakfast.”

She clumsily scatters away before Laudna has the chance to really answer.

(thanks as always to @distant--shadow for the illustrations <3)

#Imodna #Imogen Temult #Laudna #Critical Role #Bells Hells #Fanfic #Emma writes

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livelaughloveloak · 1 year

Text

★ SURE THING . . ! 🪐

previous part

⋆ pairing :: Neteyam x Navi! Reader

⋆ summary :: back in the omatikaya clan you always dreamt about sharing tsaheylu with the Olo'eyktan's oldest son. Now that you and Neteyam are both 18 will that dream finally become reality?

⋆ word count :: 1.1k words

⋆ author's note :: pt 2 of tattoo. Since the first part was based on the girl with the tattoo this part is based on Sure Thing by Miguel 🙌🙌 Honestly this is so short because I didn't know what to write

Even when the sun don't shine

"Neteyam?"

Oh how he loved hearing you say his name again.

Neteyam stood there frozen, bright yellow eyes almost popping out of his sockets. He watched you walk closer to him with your hand covering your mouth, the same expression as he had on displayed on your face.

"Oh my eywa it is you" Your hand now gently placed itself on his cheek, your eyes scanning his face. It had been one and a half years since Neteyam officially had fled the Omatikaya clan to live in the reef. He looks different but in a good way, you never thought Neteyam could get even more beautiful but fortunately you were wrong.

Neytiri watched in the background with awe, she always liked yours and Neteyam's relationship. Even as young kids she knew you guys would grow up to be closer than ever, and it turns out that her motherly instincts were right. She soon enough looked around and hissed almost as if she had venom coming out her mouth. She pointed at the lingering group watching you and Neteyam hug. "Go! What are you looking at?!"

They all scurried away to go back to their shared marui or to do something as Neytiri scooped up her youngest Tuk and signaled her other children to follow her back home.

I got faith in you and I

Your eyes stopped at a scar right at his chest. Your eyes squinted, trying to see if you were seeing things or not. You took your hand off his cheek and placed it on top of the wound. Your eyebrows furrowed before you looked up at his eyes.

"What happened?"

Neteyam held your hand and placed it down with a light chuckle.

"Oh my girl, it looks like you need to be caught up on some stuff." With that Neteyam started walking with you beside him, still holding your hand in his. It was a silent walk, a comforting silence. You enjoyed this very much because unlike here back in the forest there always seemed to be an eerie silence surrounding you. You couldn't hear Neteyam laughing or talking to you everyday, it was like living the same nightmare over and over again.

Neteyam stopped in a quiet, secluded part inside the small forest within the island.

You looked down, noticing how he was still holding your hand. You smiled.

"Neteyam I don't think I can do it"

You huffed in frustration, dropping your bow to the ground. You were out hunting with Neteyam for the first time ever. You were only 7 years old which means you were inexperienced with this sort of thing, as you were more skilled with healing so you spent your time mostly learning that.

Neteyam on the other hand started training once he learnt how to hold a bow in his own two hands.

The young male Navi gently picked up your bow that he had made for you "Stop, don't say that." Neteyam placed it into your dominant hand. His hand reached out and held the other, caressing it. "Don't give up so easily y/n it's your first time."

You looked up, staring into his eyes that were filled with honesty.

"I'll be here with you, every step at a time."

So put your pretty little hand in mine

He indeed was there with you every step at a time. Neteyam was the sweetest and skilled boy you'd ever met, and you could proudly say that other people would agree with you.

Neteyam let go of your hand and laid down on a pile of soft leaves leaning. He got comfortable then waved towards the empty space beside him, signaling for you to come and lay down as well. Being obedient to his orders, you laid down and immediately got engulfed into a tight and needed hug.

"So mind telling me the story behind the bullet wound? I mean you didn't have it when you left."

Even when we're down to the wire, babe

Even when it's do or die

Neteyam pulled back a little and looked straight into your eyes. It had already turned into night by now which made Neteyam stare in awe at your bioluminescent freckles glowing.

You soothingly traced your finger in his X shaped ribcage as your ears twitched and moved upon hearing him tell his tale about the war and how he managed to get shot trying to save a spider.

Silence filled the air once he was done with his story. Your arm had fallen on top of his chest, your eyes still staring at one another.

"You're one mighty warrior alright."

"Yeah? Am I at least your warrior?"

We could do it baby, simple and plain

"Yes Neteyam, you can if you want to be." You and Neteyam stood face to face on a small island where it was only the two of you. You and Neteyam were covered in paint, finally passing your iknayima. Neteyam placed his hands on your hips as your hands rested on his shoulders. He moved you in closer so he can have easy access to your lips. Neteyam leaned down, dangerously close.

"Will you let me?"

"Is that even a question teyam?"

With that you crashed your lips onto his, sloppingly kissing him. This was your first kiss as you were planning to save it for the perfect time, and this was beyond perfect. If you would have told you as a little kid that the son of the Olo'eyktan just asked you to be his mate, you'd pass out.

You two pulled back to catch your breath. Loud panting was heard followed along with some chuckles.

Your eyes watched as Neteyam's hand reached behind him, bringing his queue to the front of him. You copied his movements shortly after inching yours closer to his. The pink tendrils latched onto each other.

Your pupils blown in size while you felt a wave of emotion hit you, it was the bond. You and Neteyam were now officially mated for life. Life of death, even in eywa's paradise you two would love each other as your souls were now combined as one.

No words except one could describe this moment.

"Oel ngati kameie"

Cause this love is a sure thing

🏷️: @jujudsmyst @someoneisweird @mavicbuenaflor @loopyeon @gcldtom @neteyamxlover @who-is-ej @me753 @fukingsad @kurxxmi @bigdikzaddy

#atwow #avatar #avatar imagine #imagine #neteyam sully #neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x you #neteyam imagine #avatar the way of water #avatar oneshot #neteyam oneshot

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heyybaejjk · 4 months

Text

SAU, LA'U TAMA AULELEI ! - PT. 3

pairings: teen!miguel o'hara x fem samoan oc

summary: Sione's gone, David's gone, and even Kiuga is gone. But Miguel isn't, and neither is Manaia. Just great.

warnings/notes: YALL IM SO SORRY FOR THE LATE ONE ❤️

series masterlist | prev chap | next chap

Soft fingers played with his hair, the other hand trailing up and down the nape of his neck. "How bad do you want to kiss me, Migs?" A smooth, yet raspy voice spoke.

Miguel could only look down at Manaia with tired eyes, yearning to feel more of her. He was tired of holding back, tired of his feelings being ignored for his ego to show. But now. Now, he has a chance.

"So bad, you don't even know."

She pushed him on the chest lightly enough for him to sit down, sitting on his lap as she cups his face.

"Prove it," she comments with a teasing voice, one of her fingers twirling around a curl.

Leading his hands to rest on her waist, only for him to press them on her back causing her to move forward. Right there at that moment, he felt bliss as her soft lips met his.

Nothing could ever ruin this moment he's dreamt about.

*buzz buzz*

mahi_sniffer: @M.Ohara_99 MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER (HOT ASS) MOTHER I MISS YOU

mahi_sniffer: pls respond i miss you

mahi_sniffer: miguelllllllllll

bololicker: too busy on fufuhour, he doesnt wanna talk to us 😣

aluaigioukae: @M.Ohara_99 your missus was asking where you've been when we were walking home

"For fuck's sake," Miguel could never take a peaceful nap with these idiots, he should have known better. Annoyed at the ruined dream that he wished escalated quicker, he put his phone on silent.

Remembering the last text sent on his phone, he sighed heavily. He knows his friends are mutual with Manaia, mainly because their parents were friends with hers from way back when.

Despite this fact, he never found himself trying to engage with her. At all.

During classes when Sione would ask if she wanted to sit with them, Miguel would get up and sit across the room, opposite of her. Or during a break, if he was playing tackle footy and she was watching while sitting down on the bench with one of his main friends, he stops playing in case he fumbles the ball and embarrasses himself. What was worse was the walk back home after school.

If they weren't going to the mall for a feed with him or going to his house to hangout, they were most definitely walking home with her as they all lived a street next to each other. The walk together would be deadly awkward to the point where Sione would walk Manaia home himself, leaving Miguel and the two other boys.

"Ow! Fuck bro, okay, okay, I'm sorry."

Miguel can hear the stupid whines Sione projects across the room. He lifts his head up, seeing Manaia swat the Tongan boy with a rolled up textbook, "I swear, bro mum's soul, I won't say it again."

"Good," she says while smiling innocently, unrolling her book and returning to write her notes. "Cunt," Sione whispered, causing her to glare at him.

"You should just go kiss him, I swear."

"You should just do your work, stupid."

'Who was it exactly that they were talking about?' Miguel thought. It for sure couldn't be that Seth guy from weeks ago, he was her ex. Was it himself? Was it the guy sitting next to him?

"Sione, I swear if you don't shut your mouth-"

mahi_sniffer: guys not be a mood wrecker but i had to go home early, i know yall are gonna miss me but its okay 💔💔

mahi_sniffer: i forgot to turn off the iron this morning and my mum saw it lying on my bed, it was face down as well 😞

mahi_sniffer: pray for me guys

aluaigioukae: no one really fucking cares

mahi_sniffer: you didn't even come school today you have NO say

bololicker: I had to leave early too, my mum wants me to clean the house before we go airport and pick up my cousins

mahi_sniffer: aww no one really asked 🥹

bololicker: die

aluaigioukae: did naia go school?

mahi_sniffer: yeah

aluaigioukae: and miguel too?

mahi_sniffer: yur

bololicker: and ur not there?

mahi_sniffer: yuh

bololicker: ...

mahi_sniffer: oh

mahi_sniffer: OH OH

M.Ohara_2099: You left me alone, you idiot

"Hey Miguel, have you seen Sione? He wasn't in English last period."

It was already too late for his text to register as he looks up from his phone, seeing Manaia standing in front of him smiling shyly. She wore a high bun, along with a pink and yellow sei that matched her cute, yellow shoes. She had gotten a lip piercing recently, and it drove Miguel crazy.

"Uh, no, I'm sorry. He texted me saying he had to go home early."

He watches as she rolls her eyes while chuckling, "That egg probably left the iron on, I keep reminding him every time we're on the phone."

This causes Miguel to raise an eyebrow, not noticing himself smiling down at her as she talks to herself.

"I was hoping he'd walk me home, but it's fine," He watches as she began to walk away from him with a saddened expression. "I'll see you on Monday, Miguel." He hears her say with a soft voice.

His friends weren't there to encourage him into talking to her like they normally would. His mother was at work so he had no excuse to rush home, and not walk up to Manaia to strike up a conversation. He didn't see her talk to her ugly ass ex at all today.

This is his one chance, and he could not afford to miss it.

"I can walk you home, Manaia." Miguel calls out, turning around to meet with her back. She stopped walking, turning around to face him.

"O-only if you're okay with that, of course," He stutters, "And I know Sione doesn't like you walking alone with other schools nearby finishing as well, he knows you get uncomfortable walking around others you don't know much about." He attempts to make a poor excuse which she smiles softly at.

Miguel feels his face grow hot at the sight of her looking him up and down, "That's very cute of you to do, Miguel. I'd be happy if you walked with me."

It had been a long, silent walk, but it was calming. Well, to Manaia at least. Miguel had both his hands in his pockets, not wanting to accidentally touch the girl beside him if his hands were to flare out.

"You know, I was bummed out when I couldn't see you after the whole Multicultural event. I wanted to see you, Migs."

Hearing this, Miguel fidgets nervously, clenching his sweaty palms to relax his racing heart. If only she knew how much of an effect she had on him just by saying a few words. But there was this thing; she was always genuine. He knew that she was telling no lie, and it made him crazy.

Based on how other girls approached him, it wasn't the best way to get into his closed-off heart. He remembers how bold people can be, but it just made him uncomfortable knowing they'd just try to get into his pants. Some people were deaf to the word no a lot of the time.

"Uh- yeah, had to.. get home, emergency," he tells Manaia, stuttering uncontrollably and lying through his teeth.

Miguel watches as her nod, "I kind of wished to see you there. But I hope everything at home is okay," she looks up at him, catching him off guard at the sudden eye contact. His face heats up as she smiles at him warmly.

"So what are you listening to?" He asks, using an excuse to avoid her longing gaze.

In his peripheral vision, he sees her hand offering an ear bud. "You're close enough with Sione to not get it right," He looks down at Manaia, he waits for her to continue, her moist lips tempting his curiosity badly. Just how exactly would they feel against his own?

"If you guess right, you'll get a surprise when you drop me to my house." The crescendo of her sultry voice chimes in, her eyes looking into his as she gave him a cute smile, waving the earbud in his face. As he puts the bud in, he feels the side of her arm touch his. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

"Sorry, I just don't want to move far away and accidentally pull the bud out of your ear. I shared with Sione one time, and trust me when I tell you how much it hurts," laughing at the stupid memory with her best friend. Fondly smiling at her thoughtful thinking, he inches closer as well, arms brushing against each other.

He paid no mind to the contact.

That's what Manaia was thinking.

The volume raises slightly, she gave a toothy grin at his animated-like thinking pose, one hand on his chin as he pretend to thinks as he hears her small laugh.

"It's definitely Hey Girl by Fiji,' He answers, looking at Manaia expectantly, heartstrings being pulled as he sees her face glow in endearment.

"You even said the artist, that's very cute of you, Miguel," Manaia's quick to compliment him as if it was nothing, sending him into an internal coma. Trying his best not to let his mouth form into a shy smile, he mumbles a quick thank you, to which she giggle at once again.

The two of them continued their walk, they had to come to a stop as she saw the walkway leading to the small stairs of her front door. Looking at the empty driveway, she let out a sigh of relief. Both of the teenagers walk up to the door. Despite this, Miguel finds himself in relief as she doesn't say her goodbyes yet.

"I'm still sorry for the long walk," she says with an upset tone, an apologetic smile on her face. "It's fine, really. Plus, going to the gym isn't going to help me by itself if I'm not walking at least an hour a day," He winks playfully, his crossed arms that were up against his chest brought into a trance. Muscular arms seeped through the material of his shirt.

"You're an egg sometimes, just like Sione," she stiffled a laugh, jokingly pushing his shoulder, a bit harder than expected as she leaned forward, her sei falling out.

Miguel bends down and picks it up, softly pulling her closer by the arm, placing the fake flower back in position. All the while she looked up at him, flattering her eyelashes up at him trying to ignore the close feeling of his body against hers. The promximity sent a rush of heat to her face. "Don't want to ruin that pretty hair of yours," he smiles down at her.

His words replaying and looping around in her head, she couldn't resist asking the taller boy in front of her.

"You think I'm pretty?"

Miguel looks at Manaia, face heated from the straightforward question, he coughs, "Maybe.." She tilts her head teasingly, glossy lips form into a cute smile, as well as her eyes.. God, those eyes. Miguel couldn't help but think back to the dream from last night. The way her lips moulded perfectly against his, giving him a teasing look right after. The same look she was giving him now.

He shakes his head lightly before chuckling, "Now, where was that surprise you were talking about early, huh?"

"Come closer," her hand reaches up to hold his face, now standing on her tippy toes to get closer.

This is it. Miguel thinks to himself happily.

"Who are you?" a small voice pops out.

The both of them look at the door. There stood a little boy, hair ruffled as well as his strained looking eyes.

"Junior, what have I told you about when I'm talking to people?" She tells him off with a motherly tone as if telling off her own child, her hand long gone from his heated cheek. Turning her focus back to Miguel, "I, uh, as much as I want to invite you inside, my mum will be home soon, Miguel," And that was true.

"That's fine," he says to her, looking her in the eyes.

She turns her head down to her brother, nodding her head for him to get inside as the both of them talked, and that he does.

"I'll see you on Monday," Manaia quickly cup his cheek, kissing just beside his mouth, missing his cheek completely as he moved his head. He shakes his head while blushing, watching Manaia swiftly wave and run into her house giggling.

bololicker: bro its been 3 hours, wheres sione

aluaigioukae: got his phone taken off him 😿😿

bololicker: AWUI SHAME

aluaigioukae: nah but wheres that chromebook he stole from skl? 👀

bololicker: AS IF HE WOULD USE THE CHROMEBOOK TO TEXT US

bololicker: he made fun of me when i was texting my missus on it

aluaigioukae: 💀💀💀

aluaigioukae: anyway..

alugioukae: has miguel texted you? havent heard from him for a few hours

M.Ohara_99: I just got home, I'm here.

bololicker: MY BRETHREN.

aluaigioukae: are you okay? doesnt take you that long to get home before

M.Ohara_99: I'm fine, thank you for asking.

M.Ohara_99 is typing

Miguel stops typing, should he tell them he walked Manaia home? No. They'll make fun of him, for sure. But if he tells them, they can give him advice on how to get closer to her as well. They are close to her, more than he is. Sadly, he thinks.

Ah, fuck it.

M.Ohara_99: I walked Manaia home

2 users are typing

aluaigioukae: AINGGGGGGGGGGGGG

bololicker: SLURP SLURP OUAAAAAAAAAA

aluaigioukae: DID YOU.. YKKKKK???

"I fucking knew it," He says to himself.

M.Ohara_99: David, Kiuga, please

M.Ohara_99: I just walked her home, that was all

alugioukae: wait nah we need to hear how youre saying it 👀 you might be smiling and kicking your dick around n all

bololicker: awui

aluaigioukae has started a voice chat!

2 others are on voice chat! - join | decline

Miguel groans into his pillow, "Fucks sake."

"David, why do we have to call? I was perfect with texting you," he says immediately after pressing the green join option. He glares at the little screen, showing David grinning at him, Kiuga's screen remained off while his microphone stayed on.

At least Kiuga was normal about it, Miguel thinks.

"HOW WAS IT, MATE?" Kiuga screams through his microphone.

Nevermind.

Turning on his camera, Miguel props his phone against his headboard and lays on his pillow. "I told you, nothing else. I just walked her home..." He trails off, looking away from the camera.

"So you both didn't kiss?" David asks, raising his brow line.

Miguel coughs and chokes on air, looking up at the ceiling.

"No. We didn't kiss."

"Liar, liar, my dick is on fucking fire, Miguel. Naia told us she tried to go for the cheek but your freaky ass was trying to get some tongue in there," Kiuga yells through his microphone dramatically, the pitch of his voice heightening through every line.

Miguel groans again into his pillow, "So you both knew but asked anyway? I'm embarrassed right now," ruffling his hair aggressively.

David breaks into laughter, "She told us straight away. Okay but don't tell her I told you," He says in a bit of a serious tone, a playful aura still lingering, "But she felt embarrassed when you moved your face, she was rambling on about it on the phone before you texted. She was even more embarrassed when her brother saw you at the front door."

"He was a cute kid, but he ruined the moment," Miguel says bluntly.

"Did the kid have a gap tooth or?" Kiuga says causing David to laugh. Miguel thinks to himself before nodding. "He did."

"I fucking love that sibling, her other siblings are so ass."

"Have I met any of them?" Miguel curiously asks.

"Uh," David trails off, scratching the back off his neck, "do you remember that guy who started a brawl at the mall last year? In the food court?"

"The guy who stole my fucking burrito from Mad Mex to throw at someone's head!? The burrito I paid for that was $20?!" Miguel yells through his mic, louder than needed as his mother opens his door, peeking her head in.

"You okay?" she asks softly.

He snaps his head toward the door, nodding aggressively, "Uh huh."

His mother leaves, giving an awkward smile.

"Yeah that was him. And the other two girls that were behind him are her sisters. They're all in their twenties, but they don't live with Manaia and Junior" Kiuga informs Miguel, whose mouth is wide open as well as his eyes.

"Fuck's sake."

"Yeah well, better not fuck around with her or else her junkie ass siblings will come for you," David jokes.

Miguel sighs, taking off his jumper, revealing his tone arms and shoulders. His riled up self felt heat rush through his body. It was bad enough the AC in his room was broken.

"Well, I would never do that. All I know is that I like her, but I don't know if she likes me back," the heart broken boy says, a slight pout settling on his lips.

"Be for real, Migs," Kiuga teases. The nickname only sounded good when it came out of her mouth. Only hers. "And don't give me that 'Oh, she's just being nice' type bullshit. I give David a little kiss on the cheek when I drop him off home-"

"Wow, okay bye." David says, leaving the call.

Miguel rolls his eyes as Kiuga laughs out loud. "All I see is denial. Try talking to her more. I'll give you her username before I go sleep, I'll see you Monday." The boy finally says before leaving the call.

Miguel lets the silence in his room embrace him. A few minutes go by and all he can do is think about her. And maybe the dream. He remembers how she looked down at him in the dream, and sat in his lap. With just one touch, she already had him on his knees.

As for today, all she did was look up at him, and he felt his knees buck and his breath hitch. Fuck.

*buzz buzz*

aluaigioukae: @manaiafepuleai 😉😉 heres her @

aluaigioukae: make sure theres no cookie calls ;))

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jin0 · 2 years

Text

LOVESICK TEACHER [TASM!Peter Parker]

Summary : Peter lost you over ten years ago. Well, let's thank your niece, his favorite student, because here you are today, presenting your job to his class.

Pairing : Elementary teacher!Peter Parker X Reader

Warnings : 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI, smut, fluff, angst, peter being stupid (when do i ever write him smart...), soulmate trope kinda, both are a little toxic lets be real, gwen in the middle but she's best girl so get off her dick and be nice, i kinda followed andrew and emma's story with that one too, creampie, pet names (pumpkin, sweetheart, baby), slight mentions of manhandling, use of webs, kinda exhibition because they do intimate stuff in the street, overstimulation, kinda subby peter, kinda dom reader, lots of cum too, slight titty worship, slight pussy job, lots of kisses and soft touches.

A/N : another one for you birdie ✨ i kinda LOVED writing that one, missed writing for this idiot 🙈

Peter Parker could never really qualify as an idiot, but in that moment, he had never felt more stupid in his life.

It all matched perfectly and maybe it was the delusion that pushed him to ignore the signs but fuck, they were screaming at him now and he couldn’t just act like they weren’t there, like you weren’t there. It had been an entire decade of longing and confusion, and now, you were here, in front of him. Him and his entire class of little kids.

“Hi, I’m here with Mimi and I’m going to present my job as a lawyer.” You said, a tender smile on your face.

All the students cheered for you, some throwing looks at ‘Mimi', the little girl you were here for. Peter couldn’t hear any of the sounds around him, completely deaf to anything that wasn’t your voice. It echoed around him, sounding so distant yet close, as if coming out of his own head. It was a familiar feeling, but it never was this vivid before, not even in his wildest dreams or memory. He had dreamt of hearing your voice again, not in his head or memories this time. It had become so recurrent that the default voice for his memories or conscience was yours, even after all these years of not seeing each other.

You started presenting yourself and what you did on the daily to the weirdly attentive children. The teacher knew Mimi probably had something to do with it, the little girl so eerily similar to you. Now that he thought about it, he had been ignoring all the tells that slammed in his face. From her family name to her personality, she was like you, in so many ways it made him dizzy. She was like a tiny copy of you, a copy that seemed to look like you and you only, no one else.

He had been staring at your face with this stunned and pained look, as if seeing you was physically painful to the man, as if the vision of you was stabbing him repeatedly. A part of him knew you weren’t the one holding the knife in this situation, he was. He’d been holding it for a decade, waiting for the moment to hurt himself further, hurting himself until he truly felt the pain. He just didn’t expect to feel the pain in question in the middle of his class, with literal children watching.

The positive element here was that the kids seemed to be very interested in your job, this was definitely due to your way of explaining it. You knew how to make a topic fun for kids, you always did. From your facial expressions to your words, all of it was fun, you were the fun one. Even back in , you had been the one to always know where and when fun things would happen.

Peter never understood how you two ended up mixing together, when your crowds seemed to be so different.

Ah… Right… He knew how. It was stupid too.

You had figured out his secret identity when he jumped into your apartment thinking to was his. You helped him fix his wounds and from then on, helped in managing life and his nightly activities.

Until the hurricane came. Hurricane Gwen Stacy.

“Mr. Parker ?”

The man’s entire body jolted at the sudden voice and slight tug of his pants. Looking down, he found little Mimi smiling up at him with a proud smile on her face. That fucking smile, even that was the same. A slight hint of mischief mixed with all the love and innocence in the world. No, not innocence, hope. The smile he recognized it from you, a smile that you always had whenever he felt like giving up on the spider part of him. You had been his little ray of hope and one of his student was carrying the mantle.

He crouched to reach her level, smiling tenderly at her despite the little knot forming in the pit of his stomach at the idea of confronting the little girl, a child you had with someone else.

Like she always did, her little hands reached for his face to hold it still, she didn’t like it much whenever she was talking and the person wasn’t looking at her. Just like you. Her pupils were dilated in excitement and he could hear her heartbeat thumping inside her little chest.

“Mr. Parker, she’s finished, you gotta meet her now ! She’s real fun, just like me !” Declared the little girl, practically dragging her teach face first towards the source of her pride.

The man chuckled, standing up and handing the little girl his hand to let himself be guided towards you. Each step he took made him feel both heavier and lighter. The feeling of seeing you again brought him to cloud nine but the anxiety of your reaction buried him under the weight of the years that separated you both.

“Titi look ! It’s him ! Mr. Parker !” Presented Mimi, jumping into your arms to be carried, which you did.

“I know love, he’s right there, I can see him.” You smiled, kissing her forehead and making funny faces at her.

“I know ! But your eyes are bad, so I was making sure !” She responded honestly, looking at you as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

You laughed to yourself and Peter tried not to laugh and collapse to the floor at the same time. More than her name, face and mannerism, she also had your sarcasm. The resemblance was undeniable now, it was too late to run away or act blind. Two versions of you were cornering him, one, adorable as a button and the other, as beautiful as and mesmerizing as an angel fallen from the sky.

Her hands extended towards him, she was taking a step to make this a little less awkward, he knew it, that was what you always did.

“Hi, I’m Mimi’s aunt, nice to meet you.” You said, in your steadiest voice.

A sudden weight lifted off of Peter’s shoulders at your words. Her aunt. Not her mother, but the her aunt. He felt such relief in that moment, he could’ve jumped in joy, but refrained from rejoicing too fast, because you were acting like you didn’t know him, and that one hurt like hell. Even more than the possibility of you having a child with someone else.

Extending his hand to hold yours, he got lost in the feeling of your warm skin, it felt good, familiar, like home. His thumb caressed your skin as subtlety as he could but the tingling sensation spreading through him at the contact made it impossible to detach himself from you. He wanted more, he wanted to hug you tight, so tight that your only solution would be to live in his skin. He was going mental, that was evident, but fuck, he had missed you, all of you.

“Mr. Parker ?”

This time, it was your voice that pulled him out of his thoughts. Your head was tilted to the side with a slight grin, the kind that said ‘I don’t mind, take your time’. She was inviting him to take his time and reminisce. Why ? Why was she allowing him this much ? She just made it more painful to let go.

“Sorry…” He muttered, pulling his arm back slowly. Your touch burnt his skin softly, leaving behind nothing but longing and nostalgia. “So, Mimi’s Aunt right ?”

“Yes.” You smiled tenderly, looking down on the little girl fussing to get down. You put her down, letting her run off to her friends. “Her parents had to go abroad for work so I’m subbing for them. The lil’ pumpkin doesn’t seem too bothered by it so we’re having a good time together. But don’t worry, they’ll be back in a few hours, you won’t have to deal with me anymore.”

The pang in his chest was back. You’d be gone soon, disappearing out into the world again and reminding him how much he missed you. The idea of loosing you again was unbearable, his entire body screaming for him to move and do something. He needed to take a step towards you, one that would either give him closure or bring you back in his life.

"You're gone so soon ? Poor Mimi, I bet she's wasn't the happiest about the news."

"She doesn't know and please don't tell her, she'll chase me with a broom. She might be small but she manages to hold it perfectly."

"Don't worry about it. I see she enjoys your company, she talks about you every day. You're like her own Spiderman."

"How ironic..." He heard you mutter under your breath.

The deep parts of him he had tried to hide for years after you were gone just couldn’t be kept hidden anymore, not when you were right there and soon you wouldn’t be. So Peter did what his mind told him, he took a step towards you.

“Can we talk ?”

The question sounded so desperate, it was as if his life depended on whatever discussion he had in mind. That desperation to discuss things, to put words over whatever you were feeling before it was too late, you knew it better than anyone. You’d gone through it first, and now it was his turn.

You could be petty, god you wanted to. You wanted to make him feel the same kind of anger and sadness knowing him had you go through. You wanted him to be as desperate as you were to talk and grab your chance before it slipped out. You wanted him to have that chance and you wanted to be the one to rip it out of his hands, leaving him with nothing. But you couldn’t .

You could’ve stood your ground and said no, getting your own personal revenge on him. But what was the point ? It wouldn’t make you feel good and it was useless. You’d been through it and managed to sort your shit out. You walked out of that cave and saw the ‘light’. Now you were fine, you didn’t need anymore revenge or closure. And if he needed it, then you didn’t mind giving it to him. Because no matter how much he hurt you, no matter how much pain he had you go through, he was still your Peter. The clumsy idiot who could save an entire building but would lose his mind if his favorite scientist looked at him.

“Yes Pete. We can talk.” Your smile was so tender, so sweet, he wanted to drop to his knees and let himself be buried by the shame he felt. You took a step towards him, entering his personal space and letting your scent drown him in. “I’ll be waiting for you after class, just let me drop Mimi off first.”

He couldn’t speak, could barely move, but found the strength to nod, his eyes tightly shut. He had never considered the impact of your absence on his mind and body. There was something about your presence that was addictive, soothing and just made everything feel like home. From your touch to your scent, you brought out the best of him, pulled him out of his shell gently and guided him through the fucked up world he had to deal with.

Without you or anything to distract him from thinking about your absence, he was back to square one. Angry, cold, distant, absent. Once the spring had passed, he was back to his winter, back to reality, the reality that he had list you without even noticing and for a while. You had disappeared out of his life and he couldn’t avoid the withdrawal by distracting himself anymore, not when his place of refuge had left with you.

What a shitty idea to share your interest with your best friend. Now he was stuck desperately trying to find comfort in the things that he had enjoyed before you but couldn’t anymore. How could he when all of these things, he had shared with you and could only link to you now ? You left and took everything that he owned and was with you.

The rest if the day felt like the longest of his life, lasting hours and hours before he could finally say goodbye to his students.

He was anxious, trembling uncontrollably and biting his lip in anticipation. The knot in his stomach just kept growing, taking up more space and making his entire body dependent on tiny bits of positive affirmations to reassure himself.

“Mr. Parker ?”

He jumped for the hundredth time today, looking down towards the little girl who had started this trainwreck of a day.

“Yes Mimi ? Do you need something ?” He asked tenderly, or at least, as much as he could.

The little girl shook her head, signaling for him to get to her level. He smiled honestly, this little truly was like you. He loved her attitude, confidence and certainty in her words all cramped up in a pocket size human.

“Are you in love for my Titi ?”

If he had anything in his mouth, he would’ve chocked on the spot, but instead he choked on air. Coughing loudly and fanning his cherry colored face, he looked at the child in false confusion.

“W-Why would you ask that pumpkin ?”

“Well, you look at her like daddy looks at mommy. And also, you look like Dorothy’s shoes, all red and shiny. Are you okay ?”

Dorothy, from the Wizard of Oz. That reference he hadn’t expected to hear it again. Not since highschool, when you used to make fun of him by calling him a Dorothy ‘s shoes colored weirdo. He had a tendency to blush at everything and she would make fun of him for it. At the time, he swore up and down that he hated it, but fuck. He needed her to call him that again, like she used to. He wanted her to make fun of him again.

He chuckled, caressing the child’s cheeks and pinching them, make her giggle and squirm in fake disapproval. She wrapped her little arms around his neck and he lifted her up, enjoying her loud squeals of happiness. He wasn't going to lie, she was his favorite student and she knew it.

"Mimi, i can't carry you everywhere you know ?" He chuckled, arranging her hair.

"Yeah you can ! My Titi does it, even at her work when she's very busy !"

"I'm not her thought and i'll make other students sad if i only carry you."

"It's okay, I'm fine with that." She smiled, making him laugh out loud. Yeah, she was exactly like you.

Catching his breath, he ran a hand through his hand before looking down at the curious little girl.

"I’m okay pumpkin, just a little warm. Now, about your aunt-“

“What about me ?”

Peter was very close to jumping out of his own skin when your voice appeared behind him. But the true surprise was your appearance. When he saw you, he suddenly felt like a highschooler again. After ten years of not knowing where you were, you still looked and dressed the same. It could be felt that morning but could be seen in that moment.

You always looked so different when you dressed fancy or professional, he was always left speechless, but nothing could beat your usual look, the one that maintained the memory of you as a teenager, kept you as you. The you that he knew the best and that knew him when he was still worth it, or so he said.

You and your little dress felt like a breeze of fresh air, blowing through his classroom with your natural glow. You were like the wind during one of these very hot summer nights, he had prayed for you to come and while in the back of his head he lost the hope of seeing you, when you eventually showed, he just couldn’t help the smile on his face.

“Titi in a dress ! Titi’s wearing a dress ! I can even see your knees Titi!” Squealed the little girl, pointing at her aunt’s exposed knees.

She twirled around her as soon as Peter let her down and jumped in joy when you did the same, showing how flowy your dress was.

Peter was lucky that you were too busy with your niece to look at him because he couldn’t handle what was going on in front of him. Maybe he was stupid or maybe he was easy, he didn’t know and quite frankly didn’t care. There was something about seeing you in a dress that just made his inside melt. But the main issue wasn’t there, he knew this dress because he had bought it for you. It was a birthday present, the last birthday you both celebrated together, like your tradition stated, before you both lost each other.

“You’re zoning out again Mr. Parker. And you’re staring too.”

He tried to pull himself together and get back to the real world, but when his eyes crossed yours, he just couldn’t focus on anything but you. He’d equate it to nostalgia and the fact that he was seeing you again for the first time in ten years, but there was more, he knew it and clearly couldn’t hide it anymore, he had for ten years plus.

“Titi, he was all red, maybe he’s sick !” Exclaimed the child holding onto the hem of your dress

“You think ? That’s not good. We can’t let your favorite teacher be sick, can we Mimi ?” You crouched down to look at her in the eyes, trying not to laugh.

“No no no ! Sick people have to get better! With sleep and tea, and lots of honey too! To make it taste all sweet !” She responded, smiling wide while trying to remember all the technics her mother had taught her to get better.

You knew Peter, and the Spider hero was still active. He wasn’t back into his normal human body meaning he still healed very fast and simply couldn’t get sick. You knew all of this because he told you himself and even allowed you to read his father’s journal explaining the changes in his body. And if everything had stayed the same in ten years, which seemed to be the case from what you saw in the news, he still couldn’t. He probably used his sick days to rest or go out.

Nonetheless, Peter couldn’t get sick, you both knew this fact. A part of you, the part you tried to bury after high school, was hopeful, dreaming that the red covering his cheeks was due to you and not some super disease who had eventually managed to get him. You wished he’d blush because he saw you in the dress he bought you and you promised to only wear when time would be right. It wasn’t a particularly fancy dress, more of a simple milkmaid dress, but it was yours because he had gifted it to you and you wanted to honor it.

The dress was important and so was his opinion of you. Maybe that was the reason why it was so easy for your heart to break because of him. His opinion was too important and you understood exactly how much when his eyes started looking at Gwen Stacy as if she was the only one in the world to ever breath.

You weren’t replaced, your existence was simply erased when she appeared in his life.

Shaking your head suddenly, you ignored all the unwanted thoughts dancing around in your head and you turned towards your niece, who luckily, was still busy counting the healing methods on her hands. Grabbing her hand, you smiled wide.

“Hey, pumpkin, I’ve got to take you home, your parents are going to be home soon and we gotta surprise them okay ?”

“Okay ! Are we making them a surprise cake ? I wanna make a surprise cake Titi !”

“I already made it baby, but we can make something else later, okay ? But we should leave, Mister Parker has to go home to get better.” You said, reminding the little girl of her teacher’s fever.

She looked to him before looking up at you and nodding in agreement. Peter stayed quiet through the whole discussion, happy to be able to witness you both together, enjoying the dynamic between you both. He tried to keep in his smile but it was difficult to do so, past high school and college fantasies surfacing all over again and flooding his mind quickly. He pushed them to the side just enough to be able to wave at the both of you as you walked away from him.

When you came back to the school later, after dropping Mimi off and dodging your sister’s questions about you wearing your ‘special dress’, you found Peter sitting by the entryway to the school, hos skateboard in hand. Some things never changed.

When he noticed you, you saw this glint in his eyes, the one he had whenever he would discover something new for his suit or whenever he’d see her. It was easy to recognize because he used to have it whenever you would appear somewhere. You wanted to slap your own thoughts, you hated every single one of them for making you feel this way. You had spent so long learning how to be happy for Peter and you were, but your heart had other plans. The moment you saw him, you started doubted yourself and whether or not you hat truly moved on. Words were easy to say when the main focus of said words was nowhere to be found.

"So... elementary teacher huh ?"

He stayed silent for a few seconds before looking down.

"You told me i was good with kids." He took a pause a'd looked up. "Lawyer ?"

"You told me I was great at arguing." You chuckled. "Mimi likes you."

He wanted to smile at the mention of the little girl but couldn't.

"Yeah, i like the little pumpkin too."

"You call her like you used to call me."

"Yup. She reminded me of you, i just never made the connection. Did you know i was her teacher ?"

You shook your head as a response.

"No... I wanted to think it was you but i thought that would be too far fetched."

Silence took over again a'd you were back to square one, him staring and you deep in your thoughts. It felt good to be seen again by him. You wished you could say you didn’t need it but a part of you was still heavily dependent on him, and that made you hate him a little bit every passing second. You were better than that, stronger too, so much stronger. But you felt this unhealthy need to be desired by him, to be craved, and you wouldn’t be okay with this kinds of emotions if he wasn’t the one responsible for them.

You were so deep in your thoughts that you hadn’t noticed him walking up to you. He was hesitant, waiting for you to push him away, which he feels would’ve been deserved. Instead, you stayed still, not welcoming him, staring into him and digging holes into his soul. It was painful, humiliating too, you weren’t hiding like he was, but you weren’t open to him either. It was a dangerous combination, the kind that made him want to drop to his knees and apologizing straight away.

When his fingers brushed your forearms, caressing your skin slowly and as tenderly as he could, his own fingertips started to feel tingly, electric. A sensation of fulfillment, like his body was being charged with something unknown. His touch, initially as delicate as a feather, pushed into your skin, desperately trying to pull out more of that electricity. His hands ran up your exposed arms and held onto you tighter. He couldn’t let you go, not when this was what you made him feel, even after ten years apart.

“Pumpkin… Look at me, please…” His voice sounded higher and more desperate than you had ever heard coming from him.

You were still half out of it but you could feel it too, the electricity. Now, while his seemed to burn through you, the one coming from you was freezing. Your entire body burning cold under his touch. Was it your body’s way of rejecting him ? Telling him that you didn’t forgive him ? That you were pissed ? That had to be the biggest joke of the day considering the fact that in order to forgive, you had to consider that you had been wronged and at no moment had you ever felt like Peter had wronged. Or did you ? You couldn’t ignore the tiny parts of your brain and heart which seemed to get along when it came to this, agreeing that you got to be as petty as you want towards him.

You wanted to pull away and he felt it, tightening his arms around your biceps and pulling you to his chest. Had he been breathing this loud this whole time ? You could hear him from so close, inhaling and exhaling louder and louder.

“Peter…”

“No. Please… No…” He knew from you slightly pleading and saddened tone, that you were going to ask him to let you go. He couldn’t.

“I came here to talk with you Peter.” You sighed, letting him pull you even closer.

“I know. Fuck…” His finger detached themselves from you, one by one. It felt slow but was quicker than what you thought.

He looked at you, pleading with his eyes, begging for an opening, explanations, anything. He wasn’t just desperate, he needed this. He was being selfish, and childish, but he couldn’t just ignore it. After a decade of refraining it all, he couldn’t wait a second longer.

You watched him drop his bag and run his hands over his face. You stayed quite while he attempted to conceal the scream he let out. He backed up, pacing in front of the door, with a distressed look on his face.

“Peter…” You tried, stopped by him suddenly turning to face you.

“Ten years. Ten fucking years without you.” He declared, looking at you with what resembled anger. “Do you know how fucking dead inside your absence made me feel ? How each day was killing me a little more ?”

You wished you could’ve said something inspiration or dramatic, like in the movies. Instead, you chuckled, turning away from him. You could feel the anger rising and this time, it wasn’t just little parts of you.

“My absence was killing you huh Peter ? But when I was there it literally felt like I wasn’t ?”

“So you just fucking leave ? You leave me behind like I don’t matter ?” He responded, his voice raising in the heat of the moment.

“So just like you did !” You screamed, your voice cutting through the air and resonating in his head.

It was the first time he’d ever truly seen you scream in anger because of him. There was something murderous in the way you were looking at him right now, like he had never made you feel anything positive, anything good. You were looking at him like an enemy and it was killing him. Because he knew, he had messed up your friendship and anything more that could’ve happened but he couldn’t help being made at you for not giving him a proper chance. If not for him or you, for the two kids who used to joke about how they’d get married after college.

You wanted things to be civil, you wanted this to be a discussion, but it was so hard to tame the younger you who had spent years screaming inside, begging for him to feel just as bad as you did. You covered your face, breathing in and out, trying to regain your composure. You could feel him get closer to you and while you wanted to push him away this time, you couldn’t . You were too tired for this. One singular scream had exhausted you, but it wasn’t enough.

“I wish I could hate you Peter for making me feel like shit for an entire decade, even when you weren’t even there.” You began, smiling sadly while he tried not to cry. “Do you know how it feels to see your best friend fall in love for someone else ? For a girl as awesome as Gwen Stacy ? I didn’t , but I learned. Because that’s how it went. And I wished that it wouldn’t change anything between us, but when you love Peter, you love with everything you have. I had to learn that I got lucky when you showed me how much I mattered to you because you loved me with every good feeling you had in you. And I couldn’t be happier knowing that Gwen got to feel this. I just wish I would’ve known that it meant you wouldn’t have anymore space for me. That’s the story Peter. That’s us.”

If the world was caving under his feet, he probably wouldn’t feel it. While you felt a weight being lifted off of your shoulders, he just felt crushed under the guilt. That was the power you had on him, the kind he tried to forget or ignore. He was a fucking moron, and had been for years. Ignoring the spider, his senses and basic logic, he could feel how much pain you felt, had to go through because of him. Whatever you felt, he could feel it, good or bad. And he had been able to for years. It was a you and him thing, freaky in the eyes of others but normal for you both.

Walking towards you, his hands slowly moved towards your face, delicately holding onto it, caressing your flexed jaw muscles and trying to unclench it for you. He couldn’t stand seeing you, his bubble of light and happiness so angry and hurt, he just couldn’t. His hands were cold suddenly and your face warm, like the sun. He could feel the humidity under his skin, he made you cry. He lifted your face to look at him and saw it. Your beautiful eyes, reddened by tears.

“No, no, no, pumpkin please… Don’t cry… Please, I’m begging you…” He pleaded, trying to keep his voice calm despite wanting to scream at the top of his lungs. “I’m sorry… Please, love… I’m sorry sweetheart… Please don’t cry, you… You can’t… You have to smile and be happy, the happiest in the world…”

You scoffed, pushing him away with a faint smile. You wiped your face and sniffed loudly before turning towards him with the same forced smile he hated.

“I don’t want your apology Peter… God, I’m happy for you. You deserve to be with someone like Gwen, she’s incredible.”

“Stop. Don’t say that. I don’t want you to be happy for me. I want you to hate me.” He sighed, looking away.

“Would that be easier for you ?” You asked, genuinely trying to make it easier for him.

“Fuck, can you stop thinking about me !? It has to be easier for you ! You matter, I don’t !” He exclaimed, trying to pull you out of this state you were in. “I want you to hate me because that’s what would be right ! I broke your heart and you wish me the best with a girl I can’t look at without remember just how impossible it is for me to love her as much as I love you !”

In that moment, you felt the air in your lungs, disappear, sucked out by his words. You wanted to believe, you and all the versions you went through before now. The past yous who tried so hard to believe that they’d be okay not hearing about him or seeing him happy with another. They were all jumping in joy, all but one, the you from now. That you had seen all the delusion and false hope and she couldn’t let herself be fooled.

“Peter…” You started, but were stopped by his eyes, warning you silently, that if you spoke a single word, he’d loose it.

He marched towards you, pulled you by the arm to have his chest against yours. He could feel your heartbeat and just how much you were shaking, not in fear but anxiety. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop.

His palm was rough on your skin, but so warm, it felt like the rays of sun that would hit as soon as you’d wake up. They burnt your eyes a little but they felt good after a little. That was Peter, burning like the Sun. You could feel how hard he was trying to give you time, to wait for you to recognize his touch and all the love that was flowing through it, but you couldn’t, not when so much time had passed.

“Don’t even fucking try and stop me from saying whatever it is that I want to say. It’s been ten years without you, and definitely more years of refrained feelings. You always told me to live a life with no regrets and I tried but that’s fucking hard when the biggest regret in my life is letting you go and every passing day is a reminder of that. Even my favorite student turned out to be a punishment for letting you go. All of you lost over temporary happiness.”

“You don’t mean that Peter.” You scoffed, taking his hands off of your face and walking away. His eyes followed your every step, desperately trying to keep up. He recused to lose sight of you again.

"Why is it so hard to believe that i needed you ?! That i couldn't go one without you ?!"

“Because when I was there, Peter, you made it clear that you couldn’t love the both of us. It was either your best friend or your girlfriend and I know you. You couldn’t make that decision and act on it without feeling like shit, so I did it for you, because that’s what a best friend does. I did what would be right for the three of us. Every second we’d spend together after you met her was about Gwen. How pretty she was, how smart she was, how brave she was. Even helping you with your Spiderman activities had become a thing for the both of us. It doesn’t take a genius to get the memo Peter.”

“And from that… From that you thought you had to leave ?”

“I didn’t just leave Peter. You made me feel like an intruder, and I love you Buddy, but I’m not going to stick myself into an uncomfortable situation just because you don’t want to lose me or whatever. Even for you, I refuse to force myself into a painful situation to make you happy, you might be worth it, but whichever part of myself I would’ve lost wouldn’t be.”

Every word you said felt a little more painful but necessary to Peter. He needed to hear this, all of it. He wished things would be different, these words would be said in any other context, but it had to happen that way. He hadn’t been the only one hurting for all this time, you’d been hurting too and for far longer. He hated the idea of bringing you pain and now that things started to clear, he knew that if he had been given the opportunity to choose, he would’ve chosen to protect you too.

“I’m sorry pumpkin… So, so, so sorry… I wish I could do or say something to make myself look better but fuck… I failed on all accounts. As your best friend and everything else. You did what I never would’ve had the balls to do and it hurts… Because I let you believe that I would’ve chosen her over you when it would always be you… Even in my wildest dreams or without me getting to choose, it’s you. And I’m sorry it took me you being gone for noticing. I’m sorry…” He declared, letting out all the shit he wished he would’ve said when he started to realize.

You walked back in front of the entry doors, sitting down and crossing your legs. The elementary teacher let out a heavy sigh before meeting you on the floor. It felt just like old times, having you both seating on the floor next to each other, doing nothing much but being there for the other. It was as silent as it used to be, adding the faint wall you had built between you both. He tried to let it be, but Peter Parker just couldn’t do that, not even ten years after.

He laid his head on your lap, nuzzling against your skin and hiding his face into the fabric of your dress. You stayed still, watching him fully lay on the pavement and turn to face your stomach. Your eyes crossed his, the man casting you a quick glance and a grin before pushing his nose into your belly. You didn’t budge, welcomed him despite the deep desire to reject him. Desire was the funniest word of that whole sentence, funny considering the fact that it was a lie.

“I didn’t want you to leave. I’d never want you gone, pumpkin. And I’ll spend the rest of this lifetime working for your forgiveness. Even if it means that you forgive a grave.”

Your hand ran through his hair and you smiled honestly, for the first time since you had joined him for this little discussion you were having. You could feel his smile again your stomach but you could also feel the guilt grow and spread.

“You’re not being fair Peter.” You exhaled, taking your hand off his face and forcing him to look at you. “Not to me, yourself or Gwen, the awesome woman who loves you with every piece of her.”

Groaning against your body, he sat up, looking into your eyes with a playful grin.

“Gwen hasn’t been in love with me for nine years pumpkin. And I haven’t for a good decade.” He declared, the small smile on his face growing when he saw your confused expression. He was a simple man, and there was something absolutely adorable about your face when you were confused. The scrunch of your nose and the frown that made it look like he had said the stupidest thing ever was a hilarious combo he missed over the years.

“What the actual fuck are you talking about Peter ?” You asked, sounding a little angrier than you wanted. You weren’t going to get your hopes up but said hopes seemed to fly without the help of a pilot.

He chuckled, smile growing even wider. His hands took hold of your wrists, pulling you to his chest, between his parted legs. It was unnecessary to the story but he wanted to hold you, and by the time you weren’t going to push him away, he wasn’t going to stop himself. He wrapped his arms around your waist after placing yours on his shoulders before explaining himself.

“Gwen left for London after we graduated high school. We tried long distance but it just reminded me that you weren’t there either. We broke up, stayed good friends. I’m her son’s god father, she’s married now. Even has her own lab and stuff.”

Your expression got even worse and when you heard him try and keep in a laugh you couldn’t stop the punch to his biceps. It hurt a little but fuck that.

“Don’t laugh, you little shit ! What are you talking about ?!” You exclaimed, glaring at him.

“It’s as simple as it sounds pumpkin.” He said cradling your cheek tenderly. If you weren’t busy connecting the dots, you’d be swooning right now. “We broke up when she forced me to confront the fact that while she wasn’t there I wasn’t missing her as much as we both hoped I would. Even before that I was missing something else though, you. Hell, I was craving you, pumpkin. I needed you so much. And I still do.”

His words sounded so distant, echoing in your head. In a few seconds, your entire personality, the one you’d built to be Peter Parker proof was shot down and destroyed completely. You tried to keep your composure and stand your ground but it was useless. Maybe it was the fact that he was touching you, or the way he was looking at you, like you were the very reason why he kept breathing. You wanted to fold, all of you wanted that. But what you wanted didn’t matter, and after a decade of building yourself into a concrete wall, you weren’t going to fold so easily.

“Fuck you Peter.” You spat, looking at him with doubt before you stood up.

You couldn’t take a single step before being pulled backwards. Checking your dress and him, you noticed the long white web coming out of his webshooters and attaching itself to you. You squealed loudly as you dropped back onto his lap and this time, were kept between his arms. He wasn’t going to let you run off again, not when you could disappear for another decade. You tried to escape him by trashing around but he was quick to grab your wrists and force you to stay still by giving you this classic look that he would rarely use but would when it was necessary. You called it “The Brooding Spider Eyes”.

“Stop fighting me and try to listen for a second.” He ordered in a low voice that sent shivers all through your body. The more you’d look into his eyes, the fuzzier you’d get inside, that was the effect Peter Parker had on you, the deadly kind. You wanted to run, it was so much easier to run from him and to hide. After all this time, you couldn’t avoid it anymore, all that growth and improvement you tried to protect it wasn’t actual improvement, just you being able to forget him because he wasn’t there to remind you.

You were still the young girl who had begged her parents not to go to her own graduation, crying, because she was terrified of seeing him. They couldn’t understand and neither could you, all you knew was that seeing him with her was killing you. They had forced you to go but drove you home straight after, before he could even reach you. Then started the Great Cleaning of your entire existence on social medias and through your friends. You blocked a big majority of your high school except a very small group, changed your passwords because he had them all, deleted your pictures together, your socials and so on.

You had erased yourself to not be forced to confront the fact that you’d been in love with your best friend.

“Why didn’t you tell me, pumpkin ?” He muttered, his eyes fixated on your lips.

You knew exactly what he was referring to and that made you want to run even more, because that meant he knew and that also meant you were risking rejection. You tried to look away but he quickly took hold of your jaw and made you face him.

“Stop trying to look away, look at me and answer. Why didn’t you confess ?”

“Why would I ?” You responded softly, defeated. “You had a girlfriend, Peter. And you talked about her as if she was the brightest star in the universe. You told me about how great she was before you even told her you liked her, that was enough for me to understand that I wouldn’t stand a chance against that kind of love. And I know you would’ve tried to figure out the best solution to accommodate everyone, which would end up with you unhappy so I took the decision on my own.”

When your explanation finished, you tried to hide within yourself, lowering your head and turning it away from his. He kept your wrists tightly held while he searched your eyes softly, he needed to look into your beautiful eyes and see for himself, see the pain you’d been hiding from him for years. He wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, he knew that, but he was your best friend, you were his too. Hell, you were his everything, he should’ve known, and either you were the greatest pretender known to man or he just didn’t pay attention to you well enough, and he refused to believe that, because all Peter ever did was pay attention to you.

Blinded by your existence and borderline desperate to feel you at all times, he needed to observe you to be happy during the day, to see you well and smiling, otherwise he’d ruin whatever stood in your way, and that’s was what he thought was normal. Yeah, he clearly wasn’t the smartest and it took him years, but he knew as soon as you were gone that you weren’t just his best friend.

He closed his eyes and slid a hand behind your neck, delicately holding you still. The other reached up to your cheek, cradling it tenderly while his nose rubbed against yours. Never in his life had he wanted to see into your eyes more. The air in his lungs was gone, replaced by this unhealthy need to have you look at him. The years of ignorance started to pile up and he just couldn’t help the feeling in his chest. The kind of feeling that screamed to be explored, let out and exposed to the world.

“Pumpkin, please…” He pleaded, kissing your cheek softly.

You were moving out of his way but your body needed him to kiss you more, you wanted him to love you like this, just a little more.

“Stop…” You muttered, feeling his breath on your neck.

“I can’t… Don’t ask me to stop, please…” He said, rubbing his nose against your jaw.

There was something so intimate about the way his was searching for you, desperately waiting to be allowed in your space again, not just o’ the outside but on the inside. After ten years, you still brought him down on his knees, acting like a touch starved infant.

When you lifted your head, trying to save your own pride and avoid his lips, he did the same, forcing you both to face the other. He let out an exasperated breath, his eyes closed and his expression showing the inside pain he tried to hide. Both your forehead held against the other, you closed your eyes softly, turning away from him but keeping your faces close. When he thought you’d run again, he felt your hand on his cheek and suddenly could breath again. When you kissed his cheek, like you used too when you both very clearly needed this kids of intimacy, he smiled. The honest, goofy smile he was rarely showing these days.

“I’m sorry…” You whispered, finally giving in to whatever was pulling you to him so hard.

You kissed his cheek again, slowly going down to his jaw and his neck. Maybe you shouldn’t go so far after pushing him away so much, but Peter wasn’t the only one craving the other. You needed him just as badly. And he most likely wasn’t going to push you away, not when the feeling of your plump lips on his skin just made his heart stop a little more each time you’d kiss him.

When your hand ended up in his hair, playing with the brown locks, he knew he would do anything you told him. He was yours to play with right now, just like he was back then. He couldn’t stop himself from needing more but he’d start by taking everything you gave him like the greedy bastard he was.

“I’m sorry Spidey…” You repeated, kissing his chin.

There was absolutely nothing platonic about that, and maybe if you weren’t so fucking stupid you would’ve noticed earlier since you’d been doing this kinds of stuff for years. Everything was familiar and it still took you a decade to notice the very obvious situation you were both in. You truly were a match made in heaven.

His hands dropped down, freeing your wrists and instead, taking hold of your waist. Even that, he couldn’t do for long, too weak in the knees to hold you as strongly as he wished. There had to be some kind of magic in the way you touched him because his entire body suddenly felt like cotton candy.

You held his face and pulled away, ignoring the displeased growl coming out of him. You looked at his face, admiring it and swallowing back tears. You needed that man more than you needed air and you couldn’t ignore that fact any longer. You hated it, hated love and being so desperate and dependent on him but you couldn’t help it, clearly you had no control over anything anymore. You were working on autopilot.

“Kiss me again, please…” He asked, his voice so soft and polite, you swooned internally.

“I think we should talk instead…” You smiled, tenderly.

His eyes opened wide, a frown draw on his face. He looked funny and you knew that’s exactly what he was aiming at with the fake offended look. When he smacked his hand on his chest dramatically, you couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

“Oh ! So, now you want to talk ? After I practically had to bed you to just look at me ? Okay, princess. Let’s do it your way then, fuck me and what I want right ?” He sassed, looking around dramatically.

When your laugh resonated louder, he felt peace all over again. Nothing could calm him better than your smile so the power of your laugh was godly. He grinned when you tried to catch your breath, but instead practically fell to the floor. Thanks to the quick reflexes, he caught you by the front of your dress and pulled you to his chest.

“I’m sorry ! I just… I just couldn’t… Handle talking to you ? I don’t know… We haven’t in so long and suddenly everything was going to go back to normal… I couldn’t handle that… What if we talked and you realized how awful I was and am still now ?”

“Awful ? Pumpkin, don’t worry about being awful. I just pulled every toxic trick in the book to get you to look at me. And I couldn’t most likely do ten times worse if it means having you talk to me. You made me a desperate man, sweetheart.” He nodded with a playful smile.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and grinned. This felt right, peaceful, like it used to. But there was still a little bit of things that needed to be discussed first.

“Peter, You’re aware that I’m in love with you right ? Like, romantically ?” You asked, hesitant and slightly anxious about the question all together.

“Yeah I’m aware.” He responded tilting his head to the side. “Thank God, you are. Otherwise our relationship would be very awkward, pumpkin.” He smirked.

You smiled but froze when you heard his words.

“Relationship ? Like you and me ? Dating ? Like a couple ? Like people in love who hold hands and kiss and go on dates ? Like, actually dating ?”

The whole babbling was adorable and he wanted to stay looking at you in silence while you just kept talking but he needed to clear things up first. He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him with a smile that said just enough. The kind you’d give to someone you loved more than a friend and definitely more than a person you liked.

“Pumpkin, listen to me and listen to me well.” Taking your face in his large hands, he kissed your forehead tenderly. “You’re my girlfriend and you’ll become more soon enough too. I’m not letting you run away from me again. Yes, this is a romantic kidnapping. Yes I intend on marrying you one day, if you’re not tired of me by that time. But yeah, we’re together in all senses of the term. In an actual romantic relationship.” Each word was separated by soft kisses all over your face, from your forehead to your cheek. He made sure to make you plead for more by kissing the corner of your mouth and your neck. Peter knew how to make you weak too.

“You’re okay with being my boyfriend, Pete ? I have a tendency to run, and I’m pretty fast.”

“I’m faster than you.” He responded quickly.

“I have issues with choosing myself too, I tend to put others first.”

“Great, I get to put you first instead. But we’re going to work on that whole people pleasing thing you’ve got going on.”

“I’ve got a niece who bites and protects me like I’m made of gold too.” You added, remembering events between your exes and your little niece.

“Oh really ? You’re pulling the niece card ?” He asked playfully. When you nodded with a large smile, he kissed your neck. “Good luck with that sweetheart because your niece loves me. She gives me a piece of the deserts you bake her every time she has some. Practically sure she chose me to be yours. Can that be considered a form of conditioning ? I don’t know, but I don’t mind.” It was his turn to babble, but it was more than fine, you loved it and so did he, seeing the laugh coming out of you was worth all of it.

You both stayed there for a little more, him watching you while he told the dumbest jokes ever and you laughing until your stomach started to hurt. You were back to who you had left behind years ago, who you could only be with the other. You were finally feeling the weight of lying to yourself for years. It felt right. You wanted to slap yourself for taking so many years to understand that lying wouldn’t make you feel any better, but it was a necessary period in a way. No mistakes, only fun experiences or lessons to learn from.

You were catching your breath when his thumb pulled on your lower lip, staring at your mouth with the kind of hunger he never felt for anyone else. You held his wrist in both hands while he kept playing with your lip. You knew what he was looking for and what you were waiting for too, the real question was, who was going to take the first step.

The answer was easy, you were. Leaning forward, you pecked his lips and retreated back to see him lose it right in front of your eyes. You expected a reaction but not to be pinned to the floor and be kissed with the kind of might that Thor himself would be surprised by.

Was he touch starved ? Not really, or maybe yes. But your touch was what he wanted. Gone was the soft moments from earlier, he was trying to show you exactly what your absence had done to him. One his hands grabbed your neck and pulled you to him with force, the other placed on the small of your back and pushing you forward, making your arch your back. He was holding your nape tightly and pushed his face towards yours, lips puckering before covering yours passionately. His fingers lowered, rubbing your thick thighs while his arm wrapped around your body.

He was working his lips with ease on yours, making your insides melt into a puddle at each move of his. His tongue was pushed deep in your mouth, making you moan, and you knew you weren’t going to last longur kissing like this. Not with the obscene tingle buzzing between your legs. He smiled into the kiss, knowing exactly what you were feeling. You couldn’t hide from him and his heightened senses. He licked the inside of your cheek, feeling his ego grow when you whimpered, pleading as if you were pushing yourself against him.

When he pulled away, the messy kiss left you numb and still on the floor. You were trying your best to catch your breath and settle your mind all at once. He stayed silent, watching you while rubbing his thumb over your flesh. When you felt calm enough, your eyes noticed the sign o’ top of your head that held the name of your niece’s school. Right. You were literally on the floor.

“Your brain’s still working pumpkin ?” He asked playfully.

You looked towards him in confusion.

“Why are we on the floor Parker ? And were you going to fuck me in front of my niece’s school ? In the street ?”

“Well, not at first. But now that you mention it, that could be a great idea, don’t you think ?”

The punch that followed was deserved, and he had supersenses to dodge so no excuse. You sat up while he was laughing and fixed your dress before getting up. He soon followed and looked at you up and down.

“That dress is made for you. You look beautiful.” He said, his eyes showing the kind of love and sweetness that could make you drop to your knees. You were weak to compliments but his were just different, they came from the man you loved and unfortunately you couldn’t resist those.

You looked away, hiding your smile when the man you now called your boyfriend lifted you up in his arms. You held onto him, tightly holding his neck while he laughed like he had just done the funniest thing ever.

“We’re taking a shortcut back to my place. I have a lot of things to talk about with you.”

No talking was done. Absolutely none. Maybe you should’ve seen it coming but you liked being delusional, it made life a constant surprise. Now, to say you were surprised by how the events had turned, would be lying again. You expected some kind of intimacy with Peter, but never that strong. You both ended up being swept away by the wave of desire you felt and were letting yourself drown, it was fine, you were drowning together.

There was something divine about the vision in front of him and the sensations born from said vision. If he could paint, or turn his memories into pictures, he would’ve made you the biggest one, kept hidden from the public for his eyes only. He was simple, to the point of being slightly stupid maybe, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to worship the very ground you walked on after tonight and even more now that you were gracing him with more pleasure, the kind that even his wildest dreams couldn’t provide.

“P-Pumpkin… Please b-baby… Please…”

He was sobbing softly, crying tears of pleasure under your mischievous smile. He was close and he needed his release but he didn’t want it to come just yet, he didn’t want it to stop, not so soon. He couldn’t hold on longer but he needed more, always needed more of you. Again, greedy, he wouldn’t deny it, but could you blame him ? You had rocked his world and left him to fend for himself for over a decade.

Maybe it was his senses, maybe it was the years of intrusive sexual thoughts or wet dreams that were just all working against him in that moment. All of these were good hypotheses for his current state but he was too fucked out and dumb to think about them clearly. His brain wasn’t processing much right now but one thing that was for sure is that he had his cock nestled deep inside you, so deep that he could see how pretty his thick shaft looked through your belly,

Inhuman quantities of cum were dripping out of your pussy in the most obscene ways, pouring down your inner thighs and other places on your body , and he was certain that he was going to shoot out more in the next seconds if you kept on torturing him like that with your pretty lips, all swollen from him fucking your thoughts and tasting his own cum in your mouth. Another thing he knew was that all that cum, he’d pound it back into you as soon as his brain would gain back a little bit of that power he had earlier, before you turned him into a literal puppet, ready to obey your every command.

He was squirming and crying more by the second, needy for just a little bit of peace but also begging for you to use him more. He was absolutely fucked, that was another certainty with you around. Less than a day back into his life and he was already going crazy, the rest of eternity would be fun for you both.

You could’ve been a little nicer and actually moved on top of him but it was your turn to have him dumb and begging for you.

“Come on, Pete… I-Ah… I know… Y-You can give me a little m-more of you… Please b-baby, I just need it… G-Give me all of it… Please…” The sound of your moans so close to his ear made him lose himself a little more.

You started off slowly, using your knees to raise yourself on his cock until it slipped out. You saw how hard it was, covered in both your cum and leaking thick droplets of more. He was full, so full, he could explode. Never had he been this aroused but that was until you. His entire body was releasing years of attempts to calm himself down with his hands in one night and he wasn’t strong enough to take it. Lucky him you didn’t seem to give a fuck about that, enjoying the whimpering mess you’d turned him into.

The restraint he wanted to say he had was slowly disappearing, with his capacity to think straight. You kissed his earlobe and bit his jaw, making him shiver and cry a little more. His own body was betraying him, searching for that friction, the utmost level of contact with you. He tried to stay still and silent but couldn’t and started moving

Rubbing your folds on his tip, you saw his eyes roll to the back of his head, oh how the table have turned. His hands were tightly wrapped around your waist but started sliding down to your ass, ready to grip on you and slam you down on his cock. He wanted that, god he wanted so many things right now. But all of it was about you.

Poor man felt like a teenager going through puberty all over again. His face was as red and a cheery and the more you teased, the worst it got. His skin was burning so much, you couldn't last long while touching it. That was what an overstimulated Peter felt like. His hips kept bucking up, trying to push at least a few inches of him inside you. Fuck, he needed to feel your warm walls or else he'd go crazy.

“B-Baby… Baby Fuck… Please, I’m sorry… Please… P-Please, please, please… Lemme fuck you Pumpkin… Please ? Lemme feel that dripping pussy all around me… Fuck, please baby, let me inside…” He sobbed, unable to stop squirming while he could feel your entrance clench on his tip.

You looked down at yourself then at him. He was still whimpering and squirming, his entire body shaking as he pleaded with his eyes for you.

You smirked before fully sitting down on his cock, letting it take all the space inside you, filling you up exactly like it should. Looking down, you could see his tip poking through again and so could he, he was definitely looking.

“P-Peter ! Fuck, P-Peter ! Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck ! F-Feels… Feels so good !”

When you started bouncing on him again, fully jumping on his fat cock and letting the large throbbing girth invade you like nothing ever had before, he lost himself under you. He watched with admiration how your tits, still covered in cum from earlier, were bouncing up and down too. Fuck, his balls felt more full just from that image alone.

Tight and aching to be emptied, he could stop himself from getting more aroused. You leaned back, giving him full view of your pussy wrapped around him, sinking down on his entire length and taking every inch. Your dripping cunt was truly made for him, swallowing his dick down to the very last millimeter and moaning out for more like a bitch in heat.

His hands grabbed onto your waist, holding it tightly before he started to slam you down on his dick himself. As established before, he was a mess, but one thing he was good at was pleasuring you. No matter what, he’d always find a way to make you feel good. That night alone had been a sufficient proof of that.

At first he had been worried that using too much strength on you would hurt you, but when he noticed how much you loved being tossed around, he could hold back any longer, and he didn’t try to. He used the abilities given by the spider bite with care and if you wanted, he’d use them on you too. Today was the strength and tomorrow it could be the webs, who knew ?

“Y-You cockdrunk minx… Y-You like that huh ? Like it as much as I do…… That pussy’s killing me Pumpkin… Fuck, fuck, fuck… Please baby, tell me you like that… Like it when I fuck you stupid…” He begged, his lower parts guiding his thoughts and controlling his words.

“Y-Yes ! God yes ! Peter please ! M-More cock ! Please, gimme more ! Please !” You cried loudly, so loudly that your voice could probably be heard by the entire building. They probably weren’t used to the nice teacher neighbor bringing in this kind of company.

Slamming your poor weakened body on his cock with the strength of a bull in heat, he fed on the sounds resonating around the room. Your moans and cries of pleasure topped with loud sounds of your thighs slapping against his were the biggest ego boost ever. What truly did the work though was the sound of his sack slapping hard against your folds. Soft and swollen in contrast with the hard flesh of his balls. He was close, way too close.

Your entire body went numb, the thick load of cum you’d been begging for, invading every crevice of your pussy and oozing out of your already filled inside. Your little whimpers were the only thing that could be heard, with his own sounds. He’d never felt this defenseless before, weak to his instinct and clearly enjoying it.

Soon, he started moving his hips up and down, reaching for his end. His actions were so aggressive you couldn't even meet his thrusts or move freely, he was in control all while looking like he wanted to drown in your pussy. He was so red, just looking at his flushed cheeks and crossed eyes while he plowed into you made you even wetter. That reaction, you knew he loved it even more when his thick mushroom shaped tip pushed into your weak spot even harder.

He couldn’t avoid it anymore and you wanted it so badly, he could only oblige. He kept pounding into your spot, the throbbing head of his girth vibrating impatiently, he bit on his lip, his eyes crossed and his hands holding onto you for dear life. It wasn’t long before he came but he wouldn’t be the only one, never.

“F-Fuck… Ah, P-Pumpkin My sweet… Fuck, sweet princess… Taking… T-Taking everything from me… All that cum, all of it… All f-for you baby… All of me… Take it, take all of it…” He muttered, incapable to think of coherent sentences.

You were both trembling on the other, Peter still cumming inside you and you close to your end. He was dramatic and had he been able too, he would’ve most likely scolded himself for cumming first. But now wasn’t the time, instead, he pulled your warm body down, your breasts in his face just like he loved, and got to work.

He sucked one of your tits in his mouth while rubbing his thumb over the nipple of the other. His free hand was playing with your lower parts, rubbing on your clit while two of his fingers slid inside you. You arched your back, pushing your breasts in his face while he toyed with you. He loved that, finding put new ways of ruining you, even when you were already a mess. He’d play until you stopped him or until you passed out on top of him. A little sick, but that was Peter and you loved him exactly like that.

His fingers pushed around inside your filled cunt, pulling out to be covered in his cum. There was something about the image that filled him with pride. Maybe the way you accepted to be filled that way by him.

Letting go of your tits with both his mouth and hand, he laid it on your back, caressing you tenderly. His face went up to your neck, inhaling your scent and his mixed together perfectly. He kissed your jaw, cheek, neck and basically everything he could reach. His tongue licked small parcels of skin after each kiss, taking your taste with him. He was being tender and soft while his fingers kept rubbing on your clit. You didn’t last long before letting your sweet juices coat his large member and drip all over him. The sounds of your cries of pleasure in his ears were like music, the music he had dreamt of for years and finally he could hear it live.

You both stayed connected together, the poor man couldn’t handle the idea of pulling out and neither could you. Each breath you took ended up with him jumping out of nowhere. He would apologize but you could hear the laugh in his voice. He enjoyed this.

You stayed on top of him, your face, buried in his messy hair and his scent filling your senses. His face was in the crook of your neck, dropping butterfly kisses on your skin and biting when he felt especially playful. His hands stayed on your back, caressing you tenderly while his hips rolled under you. Yeah, he never said he’d stop moving, and in his defense, you were moving too.

“Hey, Pete. Do you think we would’ve ended up meeting each other again ? Even if you weren’t my niece’s teacher ?” You asked softly, kissing the crown of his head and siting up straight.

He smiled under you, his warm palm cradling your cheek and wiping remnants of your tears from earlier. He looked at you and you felt like you were the center of the universe. Because you were, the center of the universe and mostly of his universe. He was in love with you, and so were you. But no words could ever truly express how much he loved you, none.

“Listen to me.” He started, sitting straight to face you and stare into your eyes. “In every lifetime, planet, dimension, universe, whatever you want. In every single one of these, you and I, we find each other again. No matter what we do or who we are. Because you’re my soulmate, pumpkin. You’re everything to me, my everything. And I’ll let myself get swallowed by a black hole before I let anything change that. So yes, I don’t just think, I know we would’ve found each other again. We always do and we always will.”

There was some parts of truth in Peter's words and you both felt it, from the moment you met to the present. There was no way of explaining it or why but you knew you were soulmates. From the bottom pf your hearts you both knew it, because beyond words and actions, you were tied to the other. It was impossible to separate you both and doing so would never last, because you always found your way back to the other. Maybe it was fate or some kind of guardian angel, but you both knew it to be true.

You were soulmates and you had found you way back to the other again. With the help of your niece that you would both shower in bakeries. Maybe she was the guardian angel, who knew.

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teaberrii · 7 months

Text

Chapter 22: Yours

You've been Cupid for as long as you can remember. You've brought countless soulmates together, yet you've never found love.

When you're assigned to bring two childhood friends back together, it should be simple until you unexpectedly catch feelings for the mysterious and cold Ph.D. student, Dan Heng, the man with a soulmate… the man with answers to your past.

Dan Heng/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on Ao3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

Stelle couldn’t forget about the man who saved her.

She’d left the house after another fight with her brother about Jing Yuan that day. Stelle didn’t understand why her brother was so dedicated to him. There was something Caelus wasn’t telling her, and the only excuse he gave was that he was protecting both of them. But Stelle didn’t buy it. Caelus was a delivery boy, a job he’d taken up as an easy way to get into the palace. The siblings had agreed that it would be a way to find out what happened to their mother, but Stelle felt her brother got caught up in something dangerous.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she hadn’t noticed the broken tree trunk that was struggling to hold itself up. In a stroke of bad luck, it struck her when it fell.

“You must’ve been imagining things,” Caelus had said when she told him about the mysterious man who had saved her.

“I wasn’t! Why won’t you believe me?”

“You’re only hurting yourself if you get involved with them.”

“I’d rather get involved with them than magic,” she muttered.

Caelus rolled his eyes. "If what you told me is true, he used magic to help me find you."

Stelle crossed her arms as she changed the topic. “Why have you been spending so much time with the general at the palace? Why is he teaching you so much about magic? That’s not what you should be doing. You’re supposed—”

“...To find out what happened to our mother,” Caelus said, not looking at her. “And that is what I’m doing.” When he looked at her again, Stelle had never seen such a cold look in her brother’s eyes before. “I used to think how our lives would improve if we had more money… more power. But, a simple life is best, Stelle.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The people who rule our nation don’t deserve what they have. They’re criminals. All of them.”

Before she could say anything else, her brother had left.

Stelle stopped. She’d been thinking about her brother’s words when she realized she had wandered back to the same place where she saw the mysterious man.

Would she ever see him again?

As soon as Stelle opens the door, she sees March.

“Heya!” March holds up the takeout she promised to get before coming over. “Hope you’re hungry!” Stelle steps aside and March walks into the empty house. She looks around. “No one’s home?”

“Dad’s at work,” Stelle says. “...Luocha hasn’t been visiting lately.”

March puts the takeout on the counter. “No wonder you called me over. I was thinking you were spending time with him or something.”

“You make it sound like I’m using you.” Stelle hugs her friend. “I missed you, too!”

March laughs. “I know, I know. I’m just kidding!”

Soon, they’re sitting across from each other at the dining room table with a plate of food in front of them. After catching each other up on what’s been happening in their lives, March asks, “Have you heard anything from Caelus?”

“...Not recently.” Stelle picks up a French fry. “But… I dreamt about him yesterday night.”

“Oh, gosh. Don’t tell me it was a premonition.”

“I don’t know, but we were fighting about something.” Stelle sighs. “I didn’t really understand it.”

March waves her hand dismissively while holding a chicken nugget. “Ah, I wouldn’t worry about it. People have weird dreams all the time.”

“I guess.”

March bites into her chicken nugget. “Or… is there a reason why you’re so hung up on it?”

“Well… after I woke up, I suddenly wanted to see Dan Heng.”

“Aw, well, call him up! I’m sure he’d love to hear from you.” March takes a sip of her juice. “Do you know he’s dating Cupid?”

“Officially?”

“Mhmm! He kissed her head and everything! I never thought Dan Heng would be so open about affection.” When Stelle says nothing, March continues, “Is… something wrong?”

“No. Why?”

“Well… I thought you’d be asking a lot of questions. This is Dan Heng we’re talking about! His first official girlfriend! A little late... but hey, better late than never."

Stelle chuckles softly. "Honestly... I never thought Dan Heng would date.”

March almost chokes on her food. “What? What made you think that?”

“He was just always so… I don’t know… indifferent to dating.”

“Yeah… that’s true.” March shrugs. “But aren’t we all like that until we meet that special someone?”

Stelle bites into her hamburger. “Didn’t you say you’re all going on a trip?”

“Yup. You're coming, right?” March gently kicks her friend underneath the table. “Oh, c’mon, Stelle.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t coming.”

March smiles. “Good. You’d better get packing then!”

◆◆◆

You get a text that morning from Dan Heng that he’s going to see Caelus. You know he's going alone, but you still joke that you’ll miss him while he’s gone. You expect him to flirt back, but his serious response catches you off guard.

Dan Heng: It’s best if I go alone.

You’re still looking at your phone when Pom, sitting across from you, looks up from the food he’s eating.

“Something wrong?”

You put your phone down. “It’s nothing.”

Pom continues staring at you. Then, he looks at your phone. “First couple fight?”

“Why are you smiling?”

Pom laughs. “He’s probably jealous because of what happened yesterday.”

“Jealous?”

"Well, I mean… You had your hand over a guy's naked chest, and he was flirting with you. Dan Heng's a saint, if you ask me." You think back to yesterday night. Dan Heng had never shown any sign he was jealous. He was his usual quiet self, so you never thought anything was wrong. "I know we're supposed to be getting on better terms with Jing Yuan, but he was in love with you, wasn't he? It's totally possible his old feelings are coming back."

“And I thought he was talking about Young,” you say quietly.

“Young?”

"Did you hear what Jing Yuan said about Young? He doesn't believe he's really gone."

Pom looks at the locket around your neck. "I do remember that once we open that thing... it'll set him free. So, yeah, I don't doubt that." Pom leans forward. "Hey... If Young appeared in front of you right now and asked you to go to the afterlife with him, would you?"

You give Pom a deadpan look. "That's impossible."

"It's totally possible!" Pom points toward your locket. "He's probably sitting in that thing just waiting for his chance."

You sigh. "Anyway, I have a feeling we’ll have to make a choice.” You tap your fingers against the table. “The past, the present, the future… I feel like time’s finally catching up to us.”

Pom leans back. “Y’know… we’ve been together for so long.” He looks at you with a slightly sad smile. “What if we end up making different choices?”

“I think I like you better when you’re not asking the hard questions.”

Pom chuckles. “Fine. Then, let me say that poor Dan Heng really has his work cut out for him. He needs to worry about two men from the past. One who seems like he’s rizzing his girlfriend, and the other is his past self who may or may not want to take his girlfriend back with him to… wherever that may be.” Pom sighs dramatically. “Gosh, Cupid. Tell me your secret to getting all the good-looking men. Or, do you just naturally have main character energy?

You raise a brow. “Rizz? Main character energy?” Pom picks up his phone. Soon, he shows you the meaning of the slang terms. You slowly clap. “I don’t know whether to be more impressed that you know how to use a phone so well or you’re very up with the times with your vocab.”

Pom smiles proudly. “Why not both?” Your phone dings with a message. You and Pom glance at the screen, and he smiles. “You know… You could use his jealousy to your advantage.”

“Oh, no,” you deadpan as you stand. “I’m not going to listen to your crazy ideas.”

“Fiiine.” Then, he waves you off. “Don’t have too much fun on your swimsuit shopping date.”

You smile. “Oh, I will.”

After you put the dirty dishes in the kitchen, you’re out the door.

It doesn’t take you long to meet Dan Heng at one of the biggest malls in the city. You catch him standing near the entrance but when you start getting closer, you see that he’s on the phone and hear a little of the conversation.

There’s a pause before he continues, “...I understand, Stelle.” You’re slowly walking up to him now, a little curious at what he’s talking about with Stelle. “I’ll come over tonight.”

You freeze. He’ll go over… to her house… tonight? You don’t want to jump to conclusions, but that’s just suspicious and—

“You’re here.” You snap out of your thoughts when you hear Dan Heng’s voice and feel his hand in yours.

“Ah… Yeah. I just got here.” You awkwardly clear your throat. “Um… I heard you talking on the phone with Stelle. Is everything okay?”

“She wanted to get together with everyone for game night.”

“Game night?” you ask as you and Dan Heng enter the mall.

“It used to be a tradition,” Dan Heng explains. “The five of us would get together on Friday nights to play games together.”

“I guess she wants to bring that back.”

“She wants to take her mind off of Calelus.”

You can understand that Stelle must be worried and lonely. But, still. You tighten your grip on Dan Heng’s hand. “How is he, by the way? Is he… getting better?” It might be a stupid question, but you think you should ask anyway considering your progress with patching things up with Jing Yuan.

“The curse is still spreading." Does this mean the theory about you letting go of your hatred is wrong? Then, as if reading your mind, Dan Heng says, “...You and Jing Yuan are still patching things up. It’s too early to say we’re right or wrong.”

“...Did Caelus remember anything about Stelle?”

There’s a slight pause before Dan Heng says, “Apparently, she met Young more than once.”

“You’re going to what?” Stelle stepped in front of the door, blocking her brother from leaving the house. “Jing Yuan is turning you into a murderer! Why… Why would you want to kill—”

Caelus put a hand over her mouth. “You don’t need to announce it to the world, Stelle. Keep your voice down.”

She slapped his hand away. “Then, explain how killing someone has to do with finding out what happened to—”

“Mom was killed!”

Stelle’s eyes widened. “W-What?”

“I didn’t want to tell you,” Caelus muttered. “But you’re leaving me with no choice.”

“Killed? By who? By—”

“The night she was taken away… She was brought to the palace to become the king’s concubine.” Stelle was shaking as Caelus finally told her everything he knew about their mother. “I hate the royal family, Stelle. I’m going to kill them all. I want to make them suffer.”

“But—”

“Young is the princess’s lover.”

Stelle clenched her fists. “...So, you’re going to kill him to make the princess suffer? It's not his fault for what happened to Mom!"

"They are pawns of a bigger scheme. You wouldn't understand."

Caelus didn’t have time to react as a sharp pain shot through his face. His head was turned, and he slowly looked back at Stelle who was glaring at him. “You’ve turned into a monster! My brother… he would never toy with people’s lives like this!”

“...Get out of the way, Stelle.”

“No.”

Caelus narrowed his eyes. “I’ll be fine, Stelle. I’m not the one who’s going to kill him.”

“...You can’t. I… I won’t let you.”

“What’s gotten into you? Why do you care so much?”

“He was the one who saved my life.”

“Are you sure that was even him?” Caelus asked, crossing his arms. “Have you met him besides that one time?”

Then, looking at her brother in the eyes, she said, “I have.”

“Has Young ever mentioned her?” Dan Heng asks.

“No… Not that I can remember.”

Dan Heng notices the conflicted look on your face. Does it bother you that Young might've met Stelle in secret? Or... is it because you don't have all of your memories?

You and Dan Heng walk in silence for a few minutes before coming to a store that exclusively sells swimsuits. You’re looking at one on a mannequin when a woman approaches you.

“Hi! Are you looking for something in particular?”

“Oh, um, not really. Just looking.”

She smiles. “Well, we have a new summer collection that might interest you!” Before you can say anything, she’s already leading you to a large selection near the back. Dan Heng casually follows you. The woman picks out a black two-piece and puts it over your clothes and looks at Dan Heng.

“What does the boyfriend think?” she asks.

Dan Heng isn’t expecting the sudden question, but he still calmly says, “She’ll look good in anything.”

The woman turns back and smiles. “Let’s pick out a few more styles for you to try!”

Soon, with a bunch of different swimsuits and bikinis draped over your arm, you’re on your way to the changing rooms. Dan Heng is waiting outside while the woman goes off to attend to more customers. He’s leaning against the wall when you unlock the door and peek outside.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

That’s when you fully open the door and reveal a lavender one-shoulder bikini top and a high-rise bottom. You gently pull the top down. When you look up, you think you see a blush on his cheeks… even though he’s looking more to the side.

“You’re not even looking.”

“I am.”

“Gosh, does it look that bad? I—”

That’s when he turns to you. “It looks good.”

Too good.

The top pushes your breasts together making them look even more flattering. The bottoms make your legs look longer while hugging around your curves. Dan Heng thought he’d been prepared for this date, but you found a way to surprise him.

You smile and look down. “Really? Hm... but let's try something else.”

When you close and lock the door, Dan Heng sighs softly, but his heart doesn’t get a break for long. When you open the door again, you step out in a black, O-ring one piece. Dan Heng never thought he’d like seeing you wear dark colours so much.

“What about this one?”

He steps closer to you. “...It looks good.”

You put a hand on your hip. “Don’t tell me you’re going to say that for everything I try on. C’mon, give me some honesty.”

Dan Heng puts one hand on the doorframe and the other on the opposite side. When he leans in, you get a whiff of his cologne and your heart races.

“I like this one better.” Coupled with the way he’s looking at you, you suddenly want to kiss him. “...I’d rather not say more.” The faint blush on his cheeks worsens, and you smile.

“Could it be you like dark colours?”

Dan Heng hears how you’re enjoying teasing him, so he asks, “If we’re talking about what looks good on you”—he leans closer—”you’d look best in all natural colours.”

Is he saying what you think he’s saying? Without any—

Dan Heng stands upright and nods at the other swimwear you’ve yet to try on. “Are you going to try those on?” He looks at you. “Or, have you decided?”

“I’m going to try them on,” you say a little too quickly.

You catch that little mischievous smile before closing the door.

The next time you open the door, you only poke your head out. “...Um, could you help me with the straps?” you ask.

Who is he to say no?

Dan Heng closes and locks the door behind him. He glances at you in the mirror who’s holding the straps of the one-shoulder top together. He puts his hand on yours and you slowly let go to let Dan Heng handle the straps. Is it silly that his occasional touches on your bare skin make you nervous? You’re looking off to the side but when you look back at the mirror, you catch Dan Heng's gaze as he finishes tying the straps. Then, he puts his hands on your shoulders.

With a genuine smile, he says, “This one looks good, too.”

You turn around and put one hand in his hair. When he doesn’t pull away, you kiss him, and he instantly returns it. His thumb runs along the curve of your throat as his body closes the gap between you and him. His hand finds itself in your hair at the nape of your neck, drawing you closer. Warmth and sweetness pour throughout your body as kiss after kiss makes the world melt away around you. You feel a cautious touch on your waist as if he’s asking for permission. You take his hand and put it on the small of your back where you feel it roam upwards until his fingers find the straps again…

Dan Heng is the first to break away. You can see it in his eyes. He’s holding something back.

“...What is it?” you ask breathlessly. You put a hand on his cheek. “Tell me.”

His forehead is against yours as he says, “Your lips. Your kiss. Everything about you… I want them to belong to me… and me alone.” It takes you a moment to realize that your back is now against the wall. The intensity in his eyes is enough to send your nerves on fire. “...You’re my woman.” His lips briefly touch yours; one of his hands is on your outer thigh. “...No one can make you feel the way I make you feel.”

His lips find your neck, and you gasp as he lifts one of your legs. Your arms go around him, holding in the breaths as his hungry, butterfly kisses travel lower… and lower…

“...Dan Heng,” you gasp.

When he kisses just above your breast, he draws a quiet moan. He looks up at you, the blush clear on your cheeks. He dips his head lower and uses his teeth to pull down your top until it reveals what he’s looking for. You’re biting your lower lip as his tongue teases its way around until you feel the warmth of his mouth. You grab onto the hook and with each flick of his tongue, you subconsciously grip it tighter until…

Knock. Knock.

“Hi! Is everything okay in there? Are the sizes okay?”

Dan Heng slowly lets you go, making sure you’re stable. Your mind is still a mess when Dan Heng says, “Everything’s fine.”

Your eyes widen as the woman says, “O-Oh! Okay! That’s good!”

Dan Heng has one of his hands on the wall beside you. Then, quietly, he says, “Seems like I didn’t tie it as tight as I thought.” You’re feeling everything all at once. Desire. Frustration. Happiness. It’s coming in waves that you’re so close to not caring about where you are. You need to feel his touch again; heat courses throughout your body as you remember every sensual movement of his tongue. “...Turn around.”

What is he planning now? You do as you’re told, feeling nervous and… arguably a little excited. However, there aren’t any hidden motives. Instead, Dan Heng helps fix your top. Then, with his hands on your shoulders and a little smirk, he says, “...All done.”

You don’t get a chance to say anything when he unlocks the door. You hear him say something to the woman before stepping out and quickly closing the door behind him.

This isn’t how you imagined your date. You aren’t complaining. You just want more.

It’s late afternoon by the time you and Dan Heng leave the mall. You can’t stop thinking about what happened in the changing room, but are you the only one? Dan Heng hasn't brought it up and shows no sign that he's thinking about it.

Suddenly, he looks at you, and asks, "Is something wrong?”

“...Was what happened in the dressing room about yesterday?”

There's a slight pause. Then, “...I heard what Jing Yuan said.” His gaze lands on the pendant. “I know Young will always have a part of you, but when this is all over… I want to be your future.” Then, as if embarrassed, he looks off to the side. “I didn’t mean to sound so serious.”

You take his hand. “I want to know what happened in the past, but… that’s just it. The past.” Dan Heng looks back at you. “If Jing Yuan’s words left any impression on me, it’s that the future is more important.” You glance down. “I… I don’t know what’s going to happen, but”—you take a small breath and look Dan Heng in the eyes—“I know that no matter what happens, I want to be with you.” You smile. “So… no more being all huffy and puffy about Jing Yuan… or Young.”

Dan Heng leans in to kiss you but stops when his phone suddenly buzzes. When he pulls it out, you see the name on the screen, and you slightly frown. Dan Heng notices and gently pinches your cheek.

“...Who’s the one being all huffy and puffy now?”

You haven’t forgotten about your job. What’s going to happen now that you don’t want to give Dan Heng up to Stelle?

“She knows I’m with you,” Dan Heng says, opening the message. “She wants you and Pom to join us for game night.”

“I bet Pom would agree in a flash.”

“What about you?”

You gently pinch Dan Heng’s nose. “What do you think?”

◆◆◆

The palace grounds were eerily quiet that cloudless night. But if one dared to venture to the underground dungeons, they would hear low growls, snarls, and the sounds of chains striking the ground.

“...What…. What are we going to do with them?” A guard holding a torch finally tore his eyes away from the grisly scene of the undead clawing at the ground, desperate for food. The guard that Luocha bumped into that night and the maid that Jing Yuan's wife had attacked were part of them.

Neither Luocha nor Jing Yuan had an answer. They kept them alive in hopes they would find a cure, but the situation wasn't improving. The curse appeared to be evolving. Even those who hadn't been directly attacked were falling ill, except they didn't turn into monsters. Instead, they were slowly becoming paralyzed.

Time was of the essence.

With the king gone, Jing Yuan and Luocha were now in charge. An announcement was made that anyone who had direct contact with the infected had to come forward. Some people took it seriously. Some didn't. Regardless, the situation had spiralled into chaos.

Misinformation spread like wildfire. With no one unable to identify what in the world this mysterious disease was or a clear source of transmission, everyone was living in absolute terror and trust was slowly becoming a thing of the past.

However, what was truly alarming was the talk between the North and the South.

“...Don’t tell me you’re creating some kind of army.”

Jing Yuan slammed the alcohol on the table. He felt a pang in his heart as he thought about his wife. “They cannot distinguish friend from foe. We are all in danger.”

The King of the South sighed heavily. “Let me get this straight. It's those who have been attacked by the infected are the ones who turn into monsters. However, those who had 'close contact' with the infected are becoming paralyzed?”

“...Perhaps it’s proximity or sharing food, clothing, and other items.”

“...Could we use magic to control the monsters?”

“It’s not about controlling them,” Jing Yuan said, a little baffled that the king he used to serve would propose such a thing. “We need to stop—”

“Think about it, Jing Yuan. They can be used as weapons of war. Humans can finally reign supreme. We can get rid of the human dragons… for good.”

Things were spiralling out of control so fast that Jing Yuan couldn’t keep up. His initial desire for revenge had dug him into a hole that was going beyond rock bottom.

Pom, as a crow, was perched on one of the iron bars of the dungeon cell. His eyes went from Jing Yuan and Luocha to those of the cursed. The shapeshifter thought back to the night he saw Jing Yuan’s wife attack one of the maids. After you'd told him about Jing Yuan's wife attacking you, Pom went straight to work. He'd come to a conclusion and shared it with you just the other night... only for you to hit him with information that felt like a punch to the gut.

“Just like love, hate can be incredibly strong. It's also a never-ending cycle. I hurt you. You hurt me. I hurt you." Pom sighed. "You get the point. The curse carries your hate. It has your essence. No matter who you curse, they will always see you before losing their marbles because you were the one who... hurt them."

“Can’t say that’s a good thing or bad thing,” you muttered.

"...There's also something else." Pom put his hands on your shoulders. "Do you remember when we first planned this entire mission? We were prepared for pretty much anything... We didn't think there would be a way to stop it. But... there is. And, you have to be prepared because—"

"I know. Killing me is the only way this curse can ever stop.”

His eyes widened. “You knew? All this time?”

“You say you’re an expert at magic, Pom, but I’m one step ahead this time.”

“How… How did you—”

You snapped your fingers and a book mysteriously materialized in your hand. Pom quickly took it from you as if unable to believe that you had this in your possession all this time.

"The Grimoire of Black Magic?" Pom asked. "This belongs to the Gods. How did you get your hands on this?"

"...I found it. It appeared not long after Young died."

Pom sighed. "Then... I guess the stories are true."

"Stories?"

"The Grimoire tempts those with enough darkness in their hearts to do terrible things and appears in front of those who have the potential to create such powerful magic." Pom looked at you. "I don't know if this is true, but only those who have the potential to become Gods themselves can wield such magic. This book is owned by them, after all."

"...The Gods may own the book, but not all of them are involved in creating it." You took the book from Pom and flipped to the last page. Then, you muttered something, and pages began to materialize. "I doubt they know of all the curses in this book."

Pom had so many questions, but what he wanted to know most was: "You didn't bother telling me this when we first put this plan together?"

“I didn’t think it was worth mentioning."

Pom’s jaw almost dropped. “...I don’t know if you’re the one who's gone crazy or if… you’re just not scared to die.”

“...You shouldn’t be scared to die, Pom.” You took his hands and put them at his side. “Because living without a purpose is a fate much worse than death.”

Pom immediately sits up, but before he can let what he just saw sink in, he hears a male voice from the doorway.

"Long time no see, Pom." Pom turns, and his eyes widen. The man smiles. "Looks like you remember me. So flattered."

Pom quickly stands and says the name he hasn't said in centuries. "...Sampo."

Chapter 23

End notes:

I'm the author, and I can't believe what happened in this chapter lol

Also, I never intended this but Pom gives me LGBT vibes. I'm here for it though lmao

Tag list: @suoshiii @lordbugs @lxry-chxn @seirenspinel @tanspostsblog @theprinceofkhaos @nqctre @lunavixia @akwardbiscuit @kplatzman @sunsethw4 @hiqhkey @n8mareee

#dan heng x you #honkai dan heng #dan heng x reader #dan heng #dan heng honkai star rail #honkai star rail dan heng #danheng x y/n #danheng x you #danheng x reader #danheng

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