#doubles standards are upsetting

[redysetdare]

Why is it fine for allo ppl to talk and joke about how much they hate romance and how romance just sucks sooooo much but when an aro person does the same suddenly it's "romance negativity" and "incredibly problematic"?????

#text #aro #aromantic #aroace #arospec #aspec #romance repulsed #romance averse #the double standard is wild #and ig allos making fun of ppl who dont date is totally fine and we shouldnt be upset #some allo ppl are absolutely unbearable i swear #anyways LOVE LOSES!!! ROMANCE SUC LOL #you sound like the cishet ppl who get mad when trans and gay ppl make jokes abt them

[spicyicymeloncat]

I’m grumbling bc I got rated as mature the other day, and now I get a stupid menu bar promoting just a lot of suggestive things and accounts named “blondenasty” or whatever.

Not gonna use tumblr live, none of the hashtags are ones I follow, and you literally can’t flag me for no reason, and then shove posts in my face that should be filed under the reason I got flagged.

#they’re not that bad but I’m like not the demographic for it #and like not that I think people shouldn’t be able to post stuff like that I personally just don’t want to be in their audience when I just #wanna look at fandom things #also I’m upset things like the tgirl. tag is blocked when this shit is going on #the double standards annoy me #off topic

[fembutchboygirl]

I just learned something so incredibly fucked up

#i am trembling #i cannot let this enable my issues with paranoia further! haha! oh my fucking god #im not joking btw im literally physically trembling. how did this happen oh god oh GOD nononono dont let it get to you #i just need to know. was someone like. double dealing? was someone telling him about it #i wouldnt give a shit if they were stalking me online occasionally (well id care a little bit but honestly itd just be kinda fucked) #but if someone was telling him about me and my personal stuff? #stop. i dont want to think about it. i dont want to think it happened. i have to get this out of my head #but still. absolutely fucking deranged. #ESPECIALLY bc apparently he's been saying i “made him think he was abusive'' and that doing that was shitty of me bc he actually #just has bpd?????? #sol if you're reading this listen closely: one of my best friends has bpd. diagnosed and everything. so shut the fuck up #much like you've been saying i blamed my adhd for being neglectful (read: not meeting your sky-high standards for Truly Loving You 24/7) #you cannot blame your bpd for what a shit person you've been #repeatedly asking you to work on a flaw that's been hurting me is not telling you you're abusive you fucking prick #get a life‚ learn to care about other people away from what they can do for YOU‚ #and LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. #p.s. imagine being mad that people who were friends with both you and your partner didnt suddenly cut the other one off after you broke up #like actually angry at these people. what the actual fuck. you're like a divorced parent upset that their child still talks to their ex-wife #my posts

[brawlqueen]

attempt was made ! all replies will be queued and i think anything holiday related won't expire for me unless you don't want the ask answered. like last month ! they'll just go under the 'seasonal / holiday' title on my asks because the brain fog is real / life amping up so ! also i think mi.zuki is the most smug santa .

also this was last year but still . love reindeer mi.zuki and san.ta a.iba. in my post-canon verse (which is divergent) they're still partners but shared also with d.ate obviously ! i think people should give them a chance since a.iba is a very very solid support system for mi.zuki and mi.zuki keeps aiba amused and can keep up with her in her own way, it's one of the few good things i liked about a.ini. oh well sometime i'll talk about how important a.iba is to her ! plus, the unlimited psyncs are hilarious and show their bond and they bounce off each other's wit and chaotic natures honestly. or rather they bring out the chaos in each other. different bonds but no less important imho ! but yeah i'll post this again later uh...closer to the holidays i guess ?

#idk there's so much vitriol about her having a.iba like...ai.ba canonly adores mi.zuki and supports her even when #mi.zuki hasn't lost her eye . . . please let mi.zuki have some support.... #it's not like she isn't being shared with d.ate still ! #the bonds are no less powerful ! #might do a few things but i'll def take it easy tomorrow bc birthday which i kinda....always forget is coming until it smacks me in the fac #𝐎𝐎𝐂 *ೃ༄ what looks gone but comes back even stronger. #who never got the parental b.ond canonly in a.i1 ? and a.iba always in every route is so fond of her sorry i'm just...sad #tra.shing mizu.ki bc she also uses ai.ba when i /know/ mor.e probably than mos.t as a mi.zuki writer like other mi.zuki writers how BADLY #a.ini is? is just not good. she's allowed to grow up. she's allowed to have a hamster support and partner with her and share her with d.ate #like i love everyone but her being only a roommate canonly is really upsetting in res route. #sorry sometimes i'm just like.....idk the double standards yikes #grabbing mi.zuki and ir.is and am.ame and ki.zuna in my hands #u deserve the world . . . oh grabs hi.tomi . . #i think some.day either d.ate retires and a.iba is the convenient family ai.ball she always has been for them or #mi.zuki if she gets an ai.ball i hope it's rabbit shaped she'd freak out lmao #or like clione shaped ??? #rabbit tho . . . #also holding b.oss and ta.ma in my hands #ai1 may be one of my all time fave games but that doesn't mean i don't want mi.zuki to grow up and evolve i guess is my tag wall #like she will not be 12 forever.

[menalez]

I'm from Asia, and the overwhelming majority of us would straight-up not date white people. Some ethnicities are more likely to date out than others, but overall we're good, no thanks. Women who do date white foreigners tend to be levelling up economically (no judgement there from me) which is a well-known fact. While there is definitely white colonialist beauty standards at play in the majority of places, I have lots of experience with the corners that bs hasn't reached (Nepal, for a generally big example, where they love dark skin and certain features) - and even within the spaces where European-centric standards do apply, the majority of non-white people aren't interested in dating actual white people as a first choice. It has nothing to do with white people's racism or disinterest in non-white people lol. I don't know about the Middle East of course, but I think your experiences of Asia seem limited to the more English-speaking, cosmopolitan areas perhaps - or maybe you are talking about Japan, which I am not familiar with personally. However even in Korea I have a white friend (born there) who can't get a boyfriend because- in her words- men there sort foreigners as "fun times only" and local women as "marriage material". It's a bit ridiculous to think that billions of non-white people are genuinely thirsting over white people, it's simple not true - most people prefer to date within their race. Lots of people do feel attraction to white people, for the reasons you outlined or naturally as well, but your experience does not seem univeral (outside the Western sphere). It was kind of bizarre at first to come across this thinking in Western spaces but now it's just deeply agitating, because I notice non-white people in Western countries really do act like they're less attractive and it's insane to me. Like sorry, but here in my part of the world, certain Asian features on women are considered the height of beauty among these communities (to the point where that's problematic in and of itself). Definitely white beauty standards have wormed their way here too, but again, it didn't change most Asians' sexual preferences - it just made them look for those features in their own (not everyone, but most - yes some people would date white).

interesting… my experience has been the exact opposite. while i know some people would not marry a white person, they’re still the standard of beauty and marrying a white person can be almost a status symbol & people do act like dating them means you’ve won somehow. this applies for the middle east and i know similar standards exist in south & east & southeast asia. my gf explained the same type of phenomena exists in taiwan and neighbouring east asian countries & ive observed similar mindsets around white ppl being considered the most beautiful among south asians and west asians overall.

i’m not referring to english-speaking cosmopolitan areas either, i’m thinking of countries like the philippines and india and pakistan and basically the entirety of the middle east. admittedly i’m not familiar with nepal tho— it’s interesting to hear they prefer dark skin there, which is in contrast to the rest of asia in which colourism is very prominent.

i did notice white people are generalised as more of a “fun time” thing in many cases but people will still not look down on you for marrying a white person & shun you for it the way they would for marrying a black person, for example. the people generally think white people are the most appealing but often prioritise marrying people of similar backgrounds for the sake of cultural and familial standards.. not bc white people are deemed unattractive in asia. in fact, the whiter you are, the more beautiful you are deemed.

#felt like parts of what u wrote seemed quite dismissive of my experience #and made it seem like bahrain is an english cosmopolitan place #anyways it seems like ur using marriage as the standard when i’m talking about beauty standards #features like pale skin larger eyes double eyelids long noses long faces light/coloured eyes and blonde hair etc are deemed more beautiful #ie features associated with europeans. this is the case for asia in general #people will prefer more white-passing ppl within our countries bc it’s the closest u can get to white ppl without upsetting ur family #a lot of the time at least. but what do i know 😭 i only grew up being berated by people from different parts of asia for being visibly brown

[dyedviolet]

We gotta get our fandom tag on AO3 in order, I've seen three different Touchstarved tags on there. P sure the official categorization would be Touchstarved (Video Game) based on how the fandom drop down menu lists things, and I think that's what the tag wranglers would make it when the lyrics get ahold of us.

But please let's not make new tags. If I see a forth AO3 Touchstarved tag I'm gonna lose it.

#— fandom #(video game) #touchstarved game #i'm not upset by this really. it's just wild to me that this is an issue. #and yeah. let's try to minimize the tag wranglers' workload. #i've got a fic with double tags because the generic tag predates the tag #but i'm gonna change it as soon as we've got a standardized tag on there.

[lucy-ghoul]

I just realized what's wrong with the Targaryen wigs in HotD: they don't look like Targaryen hair, they look like they were stolen from the Malfoys. They all share one (1) or at best two wigs in toto and it makes them look like freaking Lucius Malfoy clones

#jokes aside episode 1 was quite good (yes i finally caved in and started watching the fire lizards show) #there were many nice touches that made me go 'mmmmh good stuff.' #1. the juxtaposition of aemma's horrific death in childbirth/the knights killing each other at the tournament #clearly reminiscent of that quote from one of brienne's chapters... heh now i can't fully remember it in english #2. THEY NAME-DROPPED THE SONG OF ICE AND FIRE (which was never even remotely referred to in got) #the whole thing about aegon and the prophecy has been a particularly favorite fan theory of mine for years and i'm happy it's canon #fake lizard monarchs haters gonna hate :)) #tho it's VERY bittersweet considering the got finale... like the prince that was promised was *spins roulette* #a stark all along? like randomly? (and no obviously i'm not talking about jon. he *is* half targaryen after all) #and let's not forget about the true heir being put down like a mad bitch because d&d liked jon better (since he's a man) #and were like 'revolutionary who wants to help people/actually abolished slavery in another continent bad. let's enforce the status quo :))) #(also the double standards. war crimes are okay only if other nobles do it - especially the starks. if you have a dragon and are a woman #and dare to be slightly mortally grey and/or ambitious... in 2 days you're gonna burn children alive!! because ofc.) #..... *cough cough* okay salty rant is over. let's go on with val's hotd first impressions #2. i didn't hate matt smith as daemon and he's particularly good at looking upset and/or sad but i still think he was miscast #3* #like he CAN act and it shows. but it's as if he were making an effort to appear more believable for this role #idk maybe he'll grow on me in the next eps. also his interactions with rhaenyra were a++ but that's nothing new #can't wait for this girl to fuck her uncle ig (...... what did i become skskksks) #4. i also liked rhaenyra&alicent's interactions. this is gonna be another tragic former besties to worsties for me to cry on :((( #5. i mostly liked the costumes. i liked how this is all about the patriarchy (at least so far). i liked the slight but still noticeable #references to the main show (the music. rhaenyra being an obvious dany lookalike. #lord stark pledging his fealty to her while viserys' voice over is speaking about the threat in the north. #viserys telling her 'promise me rhaenyra. promise me' in what i believe is an echo of lyanna's last words to ned... i think? #like it can't be accidental) #god i missed being excited over this stupid and gorgeous series #obv it helps that i actually never read fire&blood (should i?) and i'm only familiar with the events/characters from twoiaf #house of the dragon #val speaks #txt

[mchiti]

i hope nous is okay after being literally called a terrorism supporter by bild who did not apologise to him and I doubt, once again, bayern will give a shit. or bayern supporters, who are always so progressive innit.

#they called him out for his support to abou/khlal and i said nothing on that #bc I could never agree with that shit aboukh/lal did and I hope that's clear. I'm still very upset by it. #just the double standards tho.

[gaywithflowers]

I feel my blood pressure raise every time I see people write Camilla, Camelia, Camillia, Camilia instead of Camila

Or Louisa instead of Luisa

Or Columbia instead of Colombia

Or amore instead of amor

People are so hyper focused on respecting the names/spelling of certain cultures but then they do this, and b o y it is not that hard to do a quick google search

#my posts #camila noceda #luisa madrigal #encanto #toh #YES I GET UPSET TOO OKAY #I mean I do not mind that people make mistakes when learning a language or anything I mean we all begin somewhere #but when they are like...single words?? it irritates me although it probably shouldnt #but what REALLY gets me is the carelessness when there are other languages where everyone is super careful #is just the double standard that gets me????? #spanish

[troublefemme]

(vent) Every now and then I think again about the fact that it's so likely that by mentioning trans men as a group that exists or that bad things shouldn't happen to them before on my other blog, that this person might've have interpreted it as something else entirely and the absurdity of it drives me up the walls, because of this obsession of secret hiding and conspiracy theories about actual people

#+ the fact that the only time I've used ''unsafe'' was when i changed my header (on the header) and apparently they thought it was abt them #I've been haunted by the absurdity of these things. it's been making me question my reality because truly none of it makes any sense #random trouble #this person has some truly odd tendencies and idk folks idk #like i did feel unsafe around them but i didn't mention it and the fact that they got more upset by the possibility of me having mentioned+ #it to anybody more than the fact that they made me feel unsafe around them was truly telling #I'm just now kinda recovering from it bc wtf was that #and it put me in a very restricted/difficult position of i can't post about it anywhere and i can't even talk to my friends abt it bc this #+person who shit talked me to a lot of people. including my friends. got upset abt the possibility of me talking to people #the lack of self awareness on the double standard #and I'm not even naming names. it's a very if the shoe fits situation. which baffles me even more about them seeing it as an injustice #this was a ridiculous storm in a teacup situation and they went ahead and broke the metaphorical teacup #vent

[eyes-above--the-waves]

So...just out of curiousity...are all the online dude bros who obliterated Mitch for weeks about getting upset on the bench after a bad play going to come after Sid now? Or, is it only a “tantrum” when Mitch does it?

#for the record i don't care if players get upset like i'm amazed it doesn't happen more often...i just find the double standard amusing #maybe they do come after anyone who shows emotion on the bench but i don't pay attention #mitch marner #sidney crosby #toronto maple leafs #pittsburgh penguins #hockey #leafs lb

[sweetsuenos]

My sister annoys me bc she acts like she's almost ready to go have kids and get married but its like girl how are you 22 bullying your 8 year old sister 🤨

#i just feel like if you can't handle a kid crying or upset then you definitely cannot handle a newborn #but dont worry she deludes herself into being the victim of an 8 year old so it justifies her behavior 😉👌🏼 #(not true she just has a double standard for how she treats ppl vs how she treats them) #(she would spontaneously combust if we returned the same energy)

[hematomes]

idk if it's just me but ever since the sumeru leaks started im getting so tired of this community

#mostly on twt and tiktok which isn't surprising #but what bothers me is actually the glaring double standards and the performative activism #they will spam the 'why are u white' pic on drip marketed characters - cool idc #AND THEN proceed to clown on a leak animation of an npc street dancer #who's doing an actual traditional dance #like.. lmfao they don't give a fuck abt representation they just want their dick sucked by the ppl who are rightfully upset #internet brownie points ig !!

[jisungshotfirst]

Minghao can't wear his twinky little top on live stages but ripped men can wear nothing as long as they cover 1 tiddie ....

#I am upset !!!! #the double standards .... #if the issue is his nips just give him some covers besties ... #twink rights >:/ #minghao #myungho #svt

[theghostofashton]

there is such a difference between meaningful criticism and shitting on another character/show/whatever bc the one you like was treated poorly. the latter is unproductive for so many reasons but primarily... it won’t do anything? you’re not changing anything by doing that. and idk i just really hate this trend of ‘i’m upset about x so i’m going to make it fans of y’s problem’. 

#this is about so many things lol #like i get being angry and wanting to vent but i wonder when it has ever been productive #to throw another character or ship or show under the bus bc you're angry about something else #has it ever brought change #or has it just created further division and made people upset #like the energy is very clearly 'i'm upset so everyone around me also needs to be' and that's just.......obv people can engage how they want #but that feels so gross to me #you can acknowledge disparate treatment and criticize double standards without mean-spirited attacks meant to hurt people

[ipatrichor]

y'all aren't ready to hear abt my aasimar warlock kid ^^ it's very sweet & positive and also does crime for shits n giggles

#i can't stop making dnd characters apparently but. i rlly like this new one sjfbdsjdb #their morality is. shall we say Complicated #there's a series of extremely complex & delicate justifications she operates on and if anything happens to upset that balance xe might Snap #double standards and denial all the way <3 #pat.txt #morri