#dont worry anon i know how it feels when other people take credit for your works
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HI DO U HAVE ANY TIPS ON STARTING A TUMBLR BLOG? like how you format your links and everything i'm new and want to start a blog but don't know how 😭😭
hi anon!!! omg sure yes I dooo!!! when I started I didn't have anyone to help me so it was literally such a shitshow lmfao so I HOPE THIS HELPS!!
— (long post below)
disclaimer: this is all based on my experience and im sure there are other users with better tips than me so DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR GOSPEL BAHAHA
(also I'm going to assume you reached out to me because you want to start a kpop writing blog and not smth else, so all these tips are obv specific to writing blogs. I also don't know how experienced u are w Tumblr so I might say some obvious things,, sorry if you already know most of these things!!)
anyway tumblr is actually really intuitive and after about two days I honestly think you'll get it (probably even within a day tbh). here are some quick steps I feel like make sense in my mind:
find a url
(if you're starting a kpop writing blog,, most people seem to include the name/a reference to their bias but in my case i kinda just went w my name and played around w it until I liked it 😭 you can also search for "url ideas" in tumblr if you're having trouble!!) keep in mind you can literally change it at any point in time so don't worry about choosing the -perfect- one
set up your blog!
most of the time, people have a navigation post (the pinned post where everything is linked so readers can navigate ur blog easily), a masterlist (a post that shows everything you've ever written), a wip list (a post that lists all your works in progress, so fics you're currently writing and want to publish in the near future). additionally, people have a post about themselves (like an about me section with blog rules and stuff. this is my old old one). personally, i have a carrd right now (this is mine here) and you'll find other users have one or the other!
set up your navigation post: hyperlink
honestly everyone's different (btw don't worry about taking these tips too seriously bc honestly u should do whatever you want on your blog — it's yours after all!!) but I think most people include their name, pronouns, age (sometimes), timezone (sometimes) and hyperlinks to their masterlist + wip list.
how to hyperlink
im sure you've done it before for school, but it's really easy! here's a demonstration — this link will send you to my navi, and this link will send you to one of my fics! to do it, you just need to copy the link of whatever post you're trying to hyperlink (three dots in the top right of the post -> "copy link"), typesomething, double click onto the word you're trying to link it to, tap the 🔗 button, and copy the link into that!
(in this example, it'd look like this: something.)
how to make ur navi neat/pretty
personally, I used to just search for moodboards (on tumblr) and pick 3 photos that I really liked (obviously give credit to whoever made the moodboard!). what I have now is just something that I designed but you can have one or the other, it doesn't really matter! other tips I think I'd suggest is to keep it as simple as possible; you can embellish it later but make sure it's easy to read and people can see all the links! I really like searching for "symbols" on Tumblr, and then there are cute lil symbols u can add to your post :) or just use emojis! or dashes! this might be a little ahead, but I have a tutorial on gradient text if you really care, but maybe focus on the base first :D just as an example, my moot @.hazyyu has a really pretty navi!
apply the same principles to your masterlist + wip list + about me
just search for symbols, add whatever images you think look pretty, search for "line breaks" on Tumblr and there are pictures of links you can use to divide stuff up! making a carrd is easy but time-consuming (just search on YouTube "carrd tutorial")
there are other caveats to a writing blog, but those were just the basics! here are some other things I thought I could mention:
a permanent taglist is a list of people you tag every single time you publish a story/update it (for the purpose of them being notified every time you post) — sometimes people will ask u to "add me to your permanent taglist!" which just means tag them every time you post a story. personally, I have a google form for anyone that wants to be on the permanent taglist, but I didn't do that initially — I used to just wait until people sent in an ask asking to be on it and then I'd have a separate post with everyone who did. for example, this was my old one! doesn't matter whichever approach you do ^^
people also organise their blog via the hashtags
I do this too! it's so much easier that way :)) for example, every time I get an ask, I tag it with "#ask" (umm a lot of people are much more creative w their tags but personally icb lmaoo — here's an example of my friend who used a different tag and it's really pretty!). if you want help with organising your blog w tags, here's an explanation I wrote a while back!
if you want help promoting your work, you should consider joining a few networks! these are basically big big blogs that reblog all your work so more people can see ur stuff ^^ here are some of the ones I'm a part of: kflixnet, enhanet, k-labels!
you'll meet other users along the way and call them your moots; most of the time this just means you interact w them a lot via asks/dms. personally I'm not really active and I kinda find it hard to keep track of a lot of moots so I stick to myself and interact w anyone that comes my way!! but bae u can do whatever u want!! go find blogs of people that seem rlly cool and send an ask and just see where it goes; just don't badger people, be nice and I think you'll pick up on sm things naturally!!!
ur blog is gna look great!!! let me know when you finish setting it up!!! I hope this helps 😋💖
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Hello! Your fluff alphabets are so cute! Would you do one for Nishinoya? YOU ARE THE CUTEST
ignore double letters ofc 😅 love you!
hello!!! thank you so much! i love writing the fluff alphabets so im super glad that you like them just as much as i do! i absolutely love this idea and love nishinoya, so i was so excited to get this request in! thank you so much and please enjoy!! AND I LOVE YOU TOO <333
Fluff Alphabet with Nishinoya (Y O U A R E T H E C U T E S T)
Pairing - Nishinoya x reader
Warnings - none!
Notes - i keep forgetting to mention in my other posts that my credit from the fluff alphabet goes to this post, sorry for not mentioning that guys, ill remember from now on lol. thank you so so so so much anon! i loved this request and i hope you love it as much as me! enjoy and have a great day/night!!
And don’t forget REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!! So, if you want to request any writing, don’t hesitate to ask. Please read my pinned post before requesting though. Have a good day/night and please stay hydrated!! <333
Y earning - How will they cope when they're missing their partner?
he is such a pouty little baby
bro would be upset even if yall were just in separate classes for like an hour
and if you were gone for a vacation or something... you are in for it
i think that would be at first
he would be super good with long distance, still trying to make sure that you love him, so if that were the case, you wouldnt have to worry about the guilt you would feel for being gone because he would only make you feel that way for the first like day lol
but yeah, if you're apart for like 35 minutes, he would be all pouty and when you come back, he would jump into your arms talking about how much he missed you
to cope, he would definitely just send you memes or hang out with his buddies to keep his mind off of it
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
this man is over the moon for you
when he had a crush on you, the whole flippin volleyball team knew
it was so obvious
i mean, look at how he is around Kiyoko in the show lmao
he would treat you like a god/goddess/deity he loves you so much
he would bring you food to show his love, idk why, but it just feels like he would
he will not hesitate to tell you/show you how much he loves you and will not hesitate to tell other people that you are taken
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
he knows you so well. even if you havent been in the relationship long, he knew you as a friend first, so he knows you super duper well
he knows what can tick you off and what makes you happy
he knows your favorite foods and drinks and your least favorite
you two gossip together all the time, so he also knows what people you like and dislike
in a disagreement, he is super empathetic. he loves you and wants whats best for you and wants you to have everything in the whole wide world, so he knows that understanding you is top priority
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
if you dont already know how to play volleyball, he would absolutely love to teach you!
anything outdoors is a yes for him
hiking, frisbee, picnics, long walks, all an A+ date idea for him
he also loves goofy things
just like getting giant pretzels or going bowling a sucker for it
loves when you go to his games and practices and loves going to support you at whatever you're good at!
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
as said before, this man is creative!
i mean, i would think he's romantic (back to kiyoko lol) but at the same time, i dont think he's a sucker for lovey dovey stuff, y'know?? like romantic dinners and giving flowers sound like a bore to him
he would take you skydiving dude!
like he is super creative
loves planning coo coo crazy stuff with you
definitely not just a regular date fella
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
you make fun of him for being short
you're the dominant one
i mean, he can be, he's good at it, but tbh, you probably have all the power over this little dude
like he worships you, would do anything for you, so like... yeah
you wear the biggest pants in this relationship
but it's pretty equal overall, there just so happen to be Noya goo goo eyes involved
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH
YES YES YES HE NEEDS TO SPICE IT UP
its not like he would leave you if you did have a routine, but he would definitely need some fun in the relationship
as long as you're down ofc
like he would take you to some crazy fun stuff
literally cannot stress this enough
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
the only secret i think he would hide is his insecurity
he wants to be this happy guy who never has any problems, but really, he has some deep insecurity that you dont know about
other than that, he shares everything
maybe even overshares lmao
lots of 12 year old boy humor
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
HE IS SUCH A SWEETHEART OMG
okay tbh, he could make it worse by panicking, but it's because he loves you and wants to help you in any way possible
would ask too many questions
once he does take the hint that he may not be helping, he drops everything and sits next to you as you fall into his arms, just getting through it
just having him there is enough
he wouldnt realize it, but his breathing would help you get back on track
you would thank him with a kiss and he would get you any food that you want
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
HECK YEAH HE IS! AND HE DOES
since you support him by coming to volleyball games and practices, he is right behind you supporting you in whatever you do
as long as you support each other, he is happy!
#noya#nishinoya#yu nishinoya#noya x reader#noya haikyuu#nishinoya x reader#yu nishinoya x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader#hq#hq x reader#nishinoya haikyuu#fluff#fluff alphabet#haikyuu fluff#noya fluff#writing#my writing#fanfic#fanfiction#request#anon#thanks!!
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FAQ
about
vee, xhe/xer, 28. i don’t have twitter. i write, i read, i enable. big fan of villains, especially when they’re killing people and doing awful things. the more atrocities, the better.
before you ask a question...
I have a personal question about you that isn’t listed in your about
everything you need to know about me
Haha, very funny, no but seriously, I wanna know–
i don’t owe the internet any personal information about myself. you are not entitled to any piece of me that i don’t choose to share.
How can you like/dislike [fictional character]?!
they’re fictional
But THAT CHARACTER is evil and awful! Look at all the awful things they’ve done! Does this mean you condone their actions? / But THAT CHARACTER is so good! Look at all the amazing and morally upstanding things they’ve done! How can you not like them? / It’s hypocritical to like THAT character but hate THIS one because–
tbh all of this sounds like a you problem so good luck with that
Why do you have anon off?
because i can turn it off. the option to send me asks on anon is a privilege that i don’t always want to grant, especially when people take advantage of anonymity and use it to be abusive, invasive and entitled.
When are you going to respond to my prompt? When are you going to update [x] fic?
my posting schedule
I didn’t unfollow you but I’m not following you anymore. Did you softblock me?
nope. my blog was terminated briefly on 16 dec 2022 for having a vpn on while browsing on pc (don’t do that, apparently), which has messed with my follower count a bit. i don’t usually bother with softblocking these days, so feel free to follow me again if you want to!
tags of interest/writing
my da meta
other people’s da meta living in my head rent free
wip wednesday
vee rewrites da (meta/references/info/worldbuilding work/character work i plan to incorporate into my personal canon)
byf
this is a fandom blog primarily, so real life politics may seep in occasionally but i don’t do my activism on tumblr.
if you’re checking this bc you’re worried i won’t wanna interact bc you like certain characters that i am critical of, this is my reassurance that i don’t really care unless you’re gonna be an asshole abt the characters i like.
this blog is also fairly bioware critical and anti chantry – it doesn’t necessarily mean i hate the series, or even that i hate specific characters, but i do engage w the content critically (and it’s all tagged with “#[character] critical”, “bioware critical” and “anti chantry” specifically), but if that doesn’t float your boat, feel free to skip this blog.
i WILL block for clowning on my posts. i also block because i hate the way you interpret canon or my favourite characters – and if you feel that way about me, i encourage you to do the same instead of wasting both of our times with anon. i use the block button liberally and generously and so should you <3
other info
minors interact at your own discretion. smts i forget to tag 18+ content
if ya need anythin tagged that i dont already just lmk – unless it’s the word queer.
credits
tba
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callout for @genderfluidlucifer
google docs
tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation
Transmisogyny
Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling)
here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us
1. link
[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."
The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]
link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)
2. link
[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.
Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.
Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.
Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."
The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]
here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)
3. link (1), link (2)
[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.
The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]
heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism
4. link
[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.
There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]
this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.
5.link
[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:
- Ace/aro exclusionism
- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”
- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people
- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed
- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”
- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil
- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]
another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.
Emotional manipulation
Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.
[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ]
(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)
as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.
this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post.
this post was only made because:
1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.
2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.
3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with.
(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)
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for the kiss prompts... 16 with jonmartin?
Combined this New Years Kiss prompt with @ombreblossom‘s prompt for “a giggly kiss" and an anon prompt: “I wish you would write a fic where martin scoops Jon into his arms and Jon realizes how strong he is” damn if i dont deliver
Just a good vibes fic while I’m dying over the pre-finals stress. Check on your friendly neighborhood psychology students, especially juniors. They’re a-struggling.
Enjoy!!
Resolutions, 2.2k
CW: alcohol
--
“Happy New Year’s Eve!”
Jon wasn’t sure what he expected of Tim’s house. Maybe something haphazardly designed, with takeaway menus pinned to the fridge? Maybe the epitome of the bachelor pad?
He definitely hadn’t expected the open floorplan, spotlessly cleaned and well-organized, with furniture complementary to the walls and each other. Warm light spilled from every lamp, with purple and silver decorations inscribed with “2015” and “Happy New Years” dangling from almost every surface.
“You can close your mouth now, buddy,” Tim elbowed him lightly. “I keep my spaces clean, what can I say?”
Jon clamped his teeth back together and held out a bottle of white wine mechanically. “I brought this. Er, sorry I’m late.”
Tim shook his head jovially, taking Jon’s coat and scarf along with the wine, before handing the bottle back to him. “Party’s just getting started. We’ve been drinking a bit, playing some games.” He winked before nudging him toward the couches, where Sasha’s dark curls were just visible. “Go on, I’ll be right behind. They’ll be happy to see you!”
“Jon!” The man in question jumped and craned his neck to see Martin—or, more rightly, his hand—from over the edge of the couch cushions. “Good, you’re here! Sash and Tim are kicking my ass in Scrabble.”
Jon approached the living room, spying Martin, sitting on the floor in front of a coffee table, another bottle of white wine between him and Sasha, along with the aforementioned Scrabble board. “Scrabble isn’t a team sport?”
“Hey, Jon. Ooh, more wine, thank god, this one’s just gone.” Sasha scrunched her nose with her greeting, reaching for the bottle in his hands. “And no, it’s not,” she continued as she spun a corkscrew between her fingers. “But Tim is missing like half the tiles so we can’t play four.”
“Tim’n’Sash ganged up on me,” Martin mumbled, the edges of his words softened, Jon assumed, by wine. “I didn’t even—I’m new to research, issnot fair.”
Sasha pulled the cork from the wine as Tim leapt over the cushion of the suede couch, landing neatly next to her. “I told you, you would get Jon when he showed up, which evens it out anyways. Stop pouting.”
“Am not.”
Jon folded his legs beneath his hips as he sat, examining the board and taking a proffered glass from Sasha’s hands. “Don’t worry, Martin,” he offered, smiling gently at the man, taking in the flush of his face and the rolled sleeves of his dress shirt—maroon, he filed away. Looks good with his hair. “We’ve just got to last long enough before Tim gets drunk or bored and starts to throw letters at us. Did he tell you that’s why they’re missing?”
Martin laughed aloud and the noise caught Jon off guard. It was a low, warm sound, loud in a way that suited the man. Jon smiled to himself, proud.
“I do-I do not,” spluttered Tim, pointedly ignoring Sasha’s raised eyebrow. “…I stopped that when we were down to one W.”
Jon nudged Martin, gesturing for the block of letters in front of him. “You’ll see. Our turn?”
--
Eight rounds, three glasses of wine, and a dodge from the letter E later, Jon was feeling properly comfortable. They were all properly buzzed, if not a little tipsy, and the clock ticked steadily closer to midnight. Martin and Jon had continued to be partners for all the other games they played: Charades, Pictionary, and a silly game Sasha had made up where they had to describe concepts like colors or sounds, without using words directly related to them. Martin had carried their team for that game, explaining through an embarrassed blush that he liked to read a lot of poetry. Jon elected to ignore that statement, though he was grateful for the edge it gave them; his competitive streak was willing to ignore a multitude of sins.
At 11:15, Tim flipped through the television programs, searching for one doing a proper countdown. One of the BBC Music channels was playing a Countdown playlist, with an eclectic variety of music on the playlist if the presented queue was any indication. Remote in hand, Tim spun on his heel, lip-syncing voraciously to the song, some dreadfully cheesy rock ballad. In turn, he focused on Sasha, then Jon, then Martin, hand outstretched to each of them in a mockery of longing. When he turned his attention back to Sasha, the chorus swelled and she took his hand, swinging herself under his arm with a grin on her face. Jon settled into the couch cushions, a warmth running through his chest as he watched the two spin with each other in a pseudo-dance. Martin sipped his glass of water on the other end of the couch, seemingly as happy as Jon to just watch.
As the song ended, the rock ballad was replaced by a pop song, one Jon didn’t know but it was apparent everyone else did. Tim sang along in a horrendous shout-sing, and Sasha grabbed Martin’s hand, tugging on it lightly. Martin rolled his eyes, resisting briefly as Sasha wordlessly argued with him, but her will was stronger and he laughed softly as she pulled him to his feet and jumped around to the beat, air-guitaring in circles around him. Eventually, Martin closed his eyes and leant into the dance, reminding Jon vaguely of his club days with Georgie, the dozens of hot, sweaty young adults without a care in the world of who saw them dance. And, most importantly, dance badly. Martin was truly terrible, but Jon was unable to tear his gaze away. He wasn’t matching the tempo and he knew about half the words as he joined Tim in singing the chorus, but there was something about him that was absolutely intoxicating, more than the wine Jon had consumed.
The Beatles played next, and of course Jon knew them. They had been his grandmother’s favorite, and for good reason. He hadn’t even realized he was singing under his breath to Come Together until Tim’s TV remote was shoved under his lips unceremoniously. Without thinking, he accepted the faux-microphone and joined the trio, standing from the couch to the coffee table in socked feet. As he sang, voice growing in intensity, he swung his arms wide, the images of clubs and dancers and stages at the forefront of his mind.
When the song ended, Jon was breathless, and the smattered applause from his friends brought him out of his reverie. He blushed, suddenly acutely aware of the blood rushing through his body and the heart that was pumping it. he handed the remote to Tim and moved to step off the table, chewing on his lip as he did so. Before he could make the awkward step to the floor below, he yelped as he was suddenly swept off balance. The spinning of his mind, thanks to the alcohol, confused him briefly before he realized he hadn’t fallen and was actually being clutched in a pair of strong arms, bridal-style. Martin’s arms, to be precise. His brow was furrowed in concentration, though he held Jon like he weighed almost nothing.
“Ah, you said you didn’t want to fall.” Martin shrugged and bounced Jon in his arms slightly as if that explained everything.
He had? “Mmm-thank you Mar’n,” Jon murmured, eyes unsure where to land and deciding on a loose curl that hung over Martin’s forehead. He wanted to pull it, Jon realized, and he did so, gently, giving the coil a tug, and giggled to himself as it sprang back in place. Martin was a lot stronger than Jon gave him credit for, and warmer too, though that may have been the alcohol. It was nice, being held like that, and Jon felt himself nestle towards the heat of Martin’s barreled chest without thinking about it.
Tim and Sasha, to Jon’s relief, hadn’t seemed to notice, deep in conversation. Martin deposited Jon safely on the couch and slumped next to him, unbuttoning his collar a little more and turning his attention quite intently to his phone.
The music carried on, and Jon was pulled into a few more dances with Sasha and Tim but felt himself gravitating towards Martin as the hour pursued, making excuses to scoot closer on the couch. A few videos of kittens later, he was properly next to him, watching Tim and Sasha tango to Britney Spears and the clock that ticked steadily towards midnight.
As 11:50 hit, Tim lowered the volume and flopped next to Jon, sweat beading on his forehead. “Alright, mates, resolutions for 2015, go.” He popped a grape from the platter that rested on the chair nearby. “Mine’s to get outside more, I haven’t been able to get out of London much. Maybe go backpacking, see the world.”
Sasha shrugged and perched on the armrest of the couch, feet resting on the cushion next to Tim. “Patience, I think. Listening to people better.”
Jon surprised himself by speaking. “Work-life balance,” he mumbled, dragging his eyes from the coffee table to meet Tim’s curious expression. “It’s not like Elias cares much what the researchers do.”
“Hell yeah, mate!” Tim clapped him on the back. “Maybe you’ll finally come dancing with me. You’ve clearly got the skills.” He turned his attention to the final member of their party. “Marto? What about you?”
Martin shrugged, lips pursed in thought. “Mm, be more honest with people, I think.”
Tim nodded excitedly. “Oh yes, I would love to see Martin Blackwood, The Director’s Cut.”
The ginger shrugged. “I don’t think you’re missing much, honestly, just maybe a little more negativity, a little more feeling.”
“Regardless,” Tim waved the thought away. “Can’t wait to see it.” He cast his eyes to the ceiling and crossed his arms under his chest. “What do you think the illustrious Elias Bouchard does on holiday? I swear that man lives and breathes Magnus Institute.”
Sasha grinned. “Bet he wears nothing but a silk robe, with the Magnus owl embroidered on the chest, skulking around the house and drinking scotch, grumbling about budgets and paranormal stories.”
“Bet he has a cat he strokes menacingly while watching the stock market,” Martin added, sighing. “We can agree he’s a total Tory, right?”
“Oh, for sure,” came a chorus of affirmation.
The group sat in comfortable silence as an upbeat love song played on the television. Jon’s eyes were starting to feel heavy, like how they felt when he got them dilated at the optometrist. Midnight couldn’t come soon enough.
“Hey, guys?” The voice from his right was quiet, hesitant. Martin’s eyes were glassy, phone abandoned on his lap. “I’m really happy to be here, with you all.”
“Martin!” Sasha and Tim cooed happily, rushing to coat his words in affirmations and gentle kindness, sweet gifts with which to end the year. Jon opted for a quieter approach, not the verbally affectionate kind of man, placing a hand over Martin’s gently, squeezing his wrist once. He wasn’t even sure if Martin noticed it—he didn’t move his hand before Tim was shouting, hauling them up as 11:59 flashed on the screen and a countdown began to shout its way from 59 on the screen.
“Come on!” Tim crowed. “My mum always said you can’t stand still when midnight hits, or it’s bad luck. Something about starting the year moving.” Tim led them all in a sort of march, stomping forward and back, spinning in circles, and swinging each of his friends under his arms, though Martin had to duck rather considerably. All four of the research staff members were laughing through their words as they tried to add their discordant shouting to the last few numbers on the TV.
“Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!” Tim grabbed Sasha around her waist and dipped her low as he kissed her, both grinning into the kiss. Jon chuckled and shook his head at the pair, before feeling the hand that was still on his tug gently.
“I-I said I wanted to be more honest,” Martin murmured, voice low in his throat. Jon nodded wordlessly, indicating for him to go on. His words seemed caught somehow.
“If I’m honest,” Martin continued, eyes flitting over Jon’s face before landing back on his eyes. “I really want to kiss you.”
Jon giggled, actually giggled at Martin’s words, the boldness of the wine piloting his voice for a moment. “What are you waiting for?”
So Martin did, one hand on Jon’s waist and one tangled in the hair behind his ears, pressing Jon close and up towards his lips. It was a warm kiss, soft and gentle, and Jon’s head was spinning, not from the buzz or the dancing but from the four points of contact he had with MartinMartinMartin Blackwood is kissing me and Martin’s hand is on my waist and my hand is on Martin’s cheek and his skin is so soft I think I could kiss him forever. Screw 2015; I’ll come back for 2016 and just kiss Martin for a year—
Martin pulled away, smiling down at Jon with a look of utter adoration. “Happy New Year,” he breathed. “Here’s to 2015.”
“H-Happy New Year,” Jon returned, ducking his head shyly at the gaze Martin was casting on him. “Let’s hope it’s a good one.”
#tma#tma fanfic#jmart#timsasha#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#sasha james#tim stoker#jonmartin#the magnus archives#the magnus archives fanfic#fanfic to a tea#cw alcohol#new years eve#new years eve party
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Excuse me Orange. I have seen the posts of Makoto interacting with class 77 and as much as I would love to hear about it I'm really curious about how a relationship with class 79 and Makoto would be. More specifically Makoto and Kokichi.
Yes this is because I can't get the fic "Rosemary" out of my head. In summary, Makoto loses his memories and becomes a counsellor at a school in Germany after meeting Rantaro and adopts Kokichi. Besties Rantaro and Makoto with the disaster child that is Kokichi.
Hello anon! Thank you ever so much for being so polite and patient with me :). This post has been a long time coming, and people have requested it ever since I made those class 77 headcanons. I put it off partly because I was worried I wouldn't do the V3 characterisation justice. I based a lot of this off the wiki info, so I highly encourage anyone to add their thoughts or counter if they think of something different!
(Also since pre-game personalities are basically non-existent outside of headcanons, this is based off their killing game personas)
Makoto is excited to greet another school year, and some underclassmen along with it! With all the... interesting characters (turned friends) he's encountered in both his own and the above year, he can only wonder what the new students will be like...
Kaede- out of all the protagonists, I'd say Kaede shares the most similarities with Makoto, moreso than his own sister. These two would definitely get along and make a great tag team- watch out Hope's Peak, because these two will have befriended you before you know it! Makoto definitely admires Kaede's straightforwardness and her optimistic nature. They act as great support for each other if tag teaming another person/persons, as Kaede is bolder then Makoto, whilst Makoto acts well as a medium. They're both extremely loyal, arguably to a fault. Both Kaede and Makoto have lied in a class trial to protective their friend (a detective each time too, lmao). Apparently she also lied for his sake in the demo, which is sweet. I feel like they'd connect well over their mutual optimism and kind hearts. I think Makoto would convince Kaede to step out of her comfort zone- socially, she's very bold, but she strays away from activities that could affect her piano playing (by hurting her fingers) and can waste away a lot of time in the practice room. She misses out on a lot of potentially fun activities that way. On an outing with some others, she accidentally cuts her finger, and whilst Makoto apologises and tells her she was right to be cautious, she waves him aside. Despite being unable to play the piano for a few days, she fills her time with other activities and it actually... doesn't bother her so much. As an 'ordinary person', Makoto helps a lot of talented students by opening their eyes to seeing that their identity doesn't revolve around their talents. In return, Kaede offers to teach Makoto whilst he spends time with her in the practice room. Whilst piano is her favourite, she knows how to play other instruments, and teaches Makoto the violin (maybe you think he'd play a different instrument but violins are my favourite so I'm going with that-). They even practice together, and whilst Kaede still practices nearly every day, she finds that it can actually be even more fun with company.
Shuichi- ah yes, yet another detective. Makoto was initially surprised that they'd accepted another Ultimate Detective, since there's normally only one ultimate at a time in the school (aside from Luck, which is decided each year with a raffle or draw or whatever). It's revealed that Shuichi is actually undergoing part of a new tutoring programme, in order to increase the number of people with talents especially useful to society. He's to be tutored by his upperclassman... *drumroll* Kyoko! Being close with Kyoko and with Kaede, Makoto sees a lot of Shuichi and befriends him too. He helps out with Shuichi's lack of confidence and feelings of inadequacy. Unlike Makoto, Shuichi has an obvious role model that he both aspires to and compares himself against. Unlike Kyoko, Shuichi is much more connected to and feels responsible for the people his detective work condemns. Whereas Kyoko is confident in her goal to obtain the truth, in totally neutrality, Shuichi is hesitant about it, unable to feel unbiased and take a neutral stand. Makoto convinces him this is a good thing, that feeling guilt is normal and is a sign of being a passionate and sympathetic soul. Shuichi doesn't have to be the kind of detective Kyoko is- sometimes that kind of compassionate and caring person is exactly the mindset people want. He also reassures Shuichi that as painful as the truth is, uncovering it means being able to eventually move on, and embrace hope. (He also tells Kyoko to maybe be a bit more... /welcoming/ in their lessons, and eventually Kyoko grows quite fond of her student, discovering a fondess for teaching she didn't know she had).
They're both very humble and polite, and whilst Makoto isn't reserved, he can be very passive. I think the two would appreciate having more of a calm relationship, typical of a 'normal' friendship that is often er- 'lacking' at Hope's Peak. With Kaede's help, Shuichi would open up to Makoto and others over time. I personally headcanon Shuichi to have an anxiety disorder and depressive bouts, so I think someone like Makoto would be a great support friend, for him to go to when he needs company and comfort, someone to listen and to understand, and vice versa to an extent. I like to imagine Makoto, Shuichi and Kaede often spend time together (with Hajime too protag gang ftw). Shuichi likes to study in the music room with them. He's already good at research, but the music actually helps him... enjoy it more. (Maybe he takes up an instrument too, to give him a hobby to focus on, hmm).
Kokichi- Kokichi Ouma. Kokichi Ouma... what do I even say? Trying to wrap my head around his character is like trying to clear the death road of despair in your first try. Still, I'll try my best!
I've seen a headcanon before (i dont remember by who, if you know lmk and I'll credit them) that Makoto via his unpredictable luck would be immune to Kokichi's pranks, and I think that'd set up a pretty good basis for their introduction. I think if Kokichi and Makoto had to describe the other in one word, it would be... "frustrating". At first glance, they're practically opposites- someone like Kokichi, who seems to breathe lies instead of air, and a person like Makoto, who's so honest and open it's almost stupid. Makoto doesn't like how Kokichi lies so much, even if it means people hating him. He almost seems to WANT people to hate him (I think he said once that honest people scare him more than strangers). Makoto has a tendency to break down even the most difficult characters (coughcoguuh class 78 coughcofuh), and that both scares but intrigues Kokichi. Makoto couldn't hate him if he tried (literally the only person he ever even /disliked/ was Junko. Not /hate/, but just /dislike/? Really???), and it frustrates Kokichi that Makoto is so willing to trust him and put faith in him. Makoto isn't blindly optimistic either, he genuinely believes in people, and I think Kokichi would feel envious towards being able to trust so... freely. Part of Kokichi's childish and carefee personality and his perchance for lies is the manifestation of his desire for freedom. If no-one knows what he's thinking, if no one can guess his moves, if no one can use emotions or weaknesses against him, and he can do whatever he wants, isn't that freedom? Except it isn't. By not letting his guard down and being honest with people, in a way, Kokichi's lies have left him trapped, unable to open up out of a fear of vulnerability. Whilst Kokichi would be initially suspicious of Makoto, maybe even distrustful of or uncomfortable around his personality, I think having such a grounded, honest individual whom he can /rely/ on would be... comforting. Kokichi would warm up to him, and see that with Makoto, what you see is what you get. He's above all else, a /genuine/ person, though certainly not an ordinary one, and Kokichi learns to respect and even admire that. Kokichi intentionally pushes people away to avoid expressing vulnerability, by being intentionally unlikeable, but even so I think he's lonely. Pushing away others isn't out of a true desire to be alone (it never is), but a defense mechanism. That tactic wouldn't work on Makoto, and so Makoto could become someone who Kokichi not only considers a friend, but who wholeheartedly returns the sentiment.
Makoto isn't sure what to think of Kokichi at first. He's heard so much about this terrifying new student, an overlord of a secret underground organisation with roots all over the globe... and yet the first time they meet Kokichi is trying to drop a bucket of custard on him. I don't think Makoto would like how Kokichi lies so much- especially about things like killing people or sending them away to never be seen again. It upsets him how Kokichi can joke about it, and how he seems to enjoy toying with people's feelings. When Makoto has a goal, he'll follow it through to the end, so when he's determined to break through Kokichi's walls... well, it's not easy at first. He's also willing to keep Kokichi company and give him attention and hear him out, which Kokichi admittedly likes. Whilst Makoto isn't a pushover, he's also not going to threaten Kokichi or retaliate with mean words, he genuinely listens and entertains Kokichi even though he knows Kokichi is messing with him, which is.. really nice, actually. Even if he tries he can't really shake Makoto that much (pls after all the other -weirdos- people he's met?). Like oh-? They have to duel to the death with yu-gi-oh cards? It's lucky Makoto brought his stack with him! Kokichi orders him to play tea party with him? He loved playing it with Komaru when she was younger and was sad when she stopped! Kokichi tricks him into eating a really gross weird food? How did you know that was a family favourite! Kokichi is fond of Makoto, and is desperate to keep Makoto's attention on him, whilst at the same time not wanting to reveal his true feelings, leading to plenty of complicated situations. Eventually they reach a breaking point (i love drama ok) and whilst Makoto doesn't lash out at him, exactly, he admits that maybe it's best he leaves Kokichi alone, believing that maybe Kokichi truly is content to be the way he is. It's this event that causes Kokichi to realise that Makoto really is someone he'd rather not hurt- that he doesn't just 'like' him but truly cares for him. From then on he tries to dial it down a bit, and Makoto comes to understand how Kokichi's lying and 'cruelty' stems from a place of insecurity and fear of trust. He promises to be a person Kokichi can trust, to show him that vulnerability doesn't have to mean gettint hurt. Whenever the two are around each other all kind of wacky hijinks are bound to ensure, really. Kokichi loves having someone around to not only give him attention, but want to as well, and Makoto enjoys how Kokichi is willing to spend time with and entertain him, pushing him and supporting him in ways that he didn't realise initially. They both find the other extremely interesting, and their encounters usually lead to significant changes in their relationship and mindsets.
I like to imagine they'd spend time playing games and fanboying together- Kokichi adores video games, and it always poses a challenge going against Makoto's luck, which is great for someone competitive as he is. Kokichi also seems a fan of the shounen genre, and 'basic' Makoto is the only other person in the school aside from Hifumi and Tsumugi to even watch anime so you know those two nerds geek out constantly. Kokichi likes to play other kinds of games with Makoto too- and they really like word games- especially two truths one lie. Makoto is... suprisingly good at it. He's pretty poetic, and his genuineness makes it hard to disbelieve him. Which makes it all the more fun when going against Kokichi!
Rantaro- how would these two describe each other in 5 words? "A breath of fresh air". They're both some of the "normal-est" in the school tbh. It's really great for both of them to have someone to do normal teen stuff with. They love going shopping together, hanging out at cafes and arcades. They actually meet when looking for a birthday present for their sister(s). They both reach for the same one before apologising and insisting the other have it. Rantaro insists Makoto take it, since, well, it's not like /his/ sister would get it anytime soon... confused, Makoto asks why and somehow Rantaro ends up confessing the whole thing about his sisters' disappearances, and how he always buys a present for each of their birthdays, waiting for the day when he can give them to them in person. (Pls why does this always end up with makoto counselling the students akdhsjsj-). Makoto could definitely sympathise, having a younger sister of his own. I think they'd bond over that "older brother" role they share, and Makoto would definitely help alleviate some of Rantaro's guilt. I like to imagine that Makoto, whilst being a 'typical teenage boy', also has a lot of feminine interests that he might be a bit insecure about. I love the idea of Rantaro encouraging him to embrace that (guy has like 12 sisters, he gave up feeling shy about makeup, nail polish, jewellery and dressing up in tiaras years ago). Rantaro is the first person to paint Makoto's nails and he loves it so much-!!! They go out for boba together and wear matching green nail polish pls its awesome. Rantaro also tells Makoto stories from when he was travelling and its also amazing- Makoto loves hearing all about it, and Rantaro is actually an incredible storyteller. Though Rantaro initially adventured to find his sister(s), he remembers why he loved travelling in the first place, and he's able to look back fondly on those memories that used to be clouded with the despair of his sisters' disappearance. They even go on vacation together to a tropical island at some point (maybe with friends). I'd like to say Makoto's luck might even lead to them finding one of the sisters, but maybe that's a bit too coincidental ahaha.
Miu- hmm. I think Makoto would be a little put off at first by her vulgarity and very openly sexual and crude behaviour. It's not that he dislikes her, he just isn't really sure... how to react around her? Her and Kaede don't get along, and Makoto often finds himself playing peacemaker when he stumbles upon their arguments. To his surprise, though, she seems to actually... like it when they fight? In fact- she seems to like it when people give her the time of day at all, really. Maybe she's just... lonely? And well, she can be a bit... um- /obnoxious/, but she can't be that bad! Making him go to see her weird (weird) inventions, that must be her way of reaching out and trying to spend time with him, right?
And then she starts calling him "Ma-crap-to", "Naegidiot", "Makusoto", and "Na-unchi"
nevermind she sucks
Makoto, with his saintly patience, would probably end up getting closer to her similar how Shuichi does in his FTEs. (I'll be honest there's not much difference I can think of akdjsjjssksj-)
Kaito- Kaito! Who doesn't love Kaito. It's no secret Kaito thinks himself the centre of the Universe (insert space joke here haha)- he's the protagonist of his own life, and luckily for him, Makoto fits quite nicely into the sidekick role. Both of them are passionate, with big hearts and strong spirits. Kaito is really good at seeing through people too- (idk how accurate this is but apparently in the wiki it says he sees that Nagito isn't interested in his talent or him as a person so much as him as a symbol). Whilst Makoto obviously has a lot of respect and admiration for all the talented students, I feel like it's a lot more... genuine? In a way that he can appreciate the person behind the talent, more than the talent itself. Kaito is someone who likes to inspire people and I think this would resonate with him. I think the two could seriously get along! They're both hopeless (haha) romantics and stupidly optimistic lmao. Kaito can be a little hotheaded at times, so I also like the idea that Makoto could calm him down, or at least reel him in a bit. He's stubborn when it comes to... um.. certain types of people (kokichi) so maybe Makoto could open his mind a bit.
Maki: MAKI ROLLLL. Ok I'm sure she'd probably have to hide her talent until it all came out at some point. I think Makoto is someone who's very against killing (even Junko he believed there was a better way for), so whilst he wouldn't agree with her talent, I think he wouldn't hold it against Maki, especially because he's very good at separating person from talent. Makoto is very understanding, and I think that like with Kaito, he would try to befriend her and open her up. He'd probably feel bad for her, not knowing what a "normal" life was like, so he'd try his best to do that. I think Maki in turn would appreciate that, and slowly get to know him like she did with Kaito and Shuichi. (She also likes complaining to him about Kaito lmao).
(he also takes her out for sushi so she can see for herself what a harumaki is LOL)
I'm sorry anon, this is as far as I could go aksnjjssj. When I feel up to it I'll try and make a part 2 to this, but I hope this is good for now?
(Also that fic sounds awesome and I'll definitely have to read it at some point)
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Time changes
Poe Dameron x stormtrooper!reader
Requested by anon “Can I request a Poe x stormtrooper! Reader? Like, Finn convinces reader to leave the First Order shortly after he did, and Poe is smitten with her when Finn introduces them to each other? -&”
A/N- again if you guys have other Poe requests, send em!!
Warning- small angst, fluff and characters pining against one another.
——
Time is meant to be endless. But as a stormtrooper there is no promise to live another day, hour or minute.
You’re just meant to live without time (unless when it benefits them), you’re just supposed to fight mindlessly, just live like puppets. Only used and aware when they use you.
Nobody wants to live that life. You don’t want to live that life, but you’re...meant to.
Just meant to work and work, fight and—
In a matter of seconds, at the sight of someone familiar you’d thought you would never see again, you lose your train of thought and stop before him completely baffled.
“FN-2189?”
You blink and part your lips to say his number, but at the sight of two strangers next to him you blink again. Only being able to mutter in disbelief after hearing the familiar sound of a droids chirping coming from under a...trash bin? “FN-2187?!”
A smile slowly attempts to tug on your lips, but part of you is still in disbelief that you were seeing your friend.
“It’s uh Finn now actually.” He announces making you express a lighthearted scoff.
“What are you doing back? You’re supposed to be long gone, not back two days later.” You remark in a louder worried tone. “If they see you they’ll kill you.”
“They won’t see me, we—”
“We d-dont have time for this.” The older man that was with FN—with Finn interrupts.
Finn looks over his shoulder to the man and sighs. “Yeah you’re right.” Finn looks back at you and takes a step towards you. “Come with me.”
“Finn.” The girl behind him calls.
“T-talking and w-w-walking.” The man suggests.
Finn nods and grabs your shoulder to turn you around and take you with him as he continues with whatever it was he and his...friends were here for.
“What are you doing here, Finn?” You probe further, “who are they?”
“The girl is my friend Rose and the guy...well he’s Dj. A man who’s going to help us break into the room where the tracker is to stop them from tracking the resistance.”
“Oh,” you mouth, glancing down at the hidden droid. “The droid is yours?”
“A friends. The resistance fighter who I broke out.”
You hum and continue walking with him even if you are still worried about his intentions. “You better not get caught. You got out, I know you wouldn’t want to be back here.”
“I will.” Finn assures you, “but you’re coming with me. I wanted to bring you with me before, but I couldn’t, but now I can. Come with me. You can fight for the right side, have your own name and be free.”
“I—” you pause and sigh. There's nothing you would want more, but to leave, be something more than a puppet for the first order. But you have to wonder, what if they capture you and imprison you again? Get forced to be the same as you are now. Just another nameless soldier.
“What if they take me again?” You finally manage to say, blinking up to look at him.
“I won’t let that happen.” Finn assures you, “nobody will. I promise.” He offers you a small warm smile that you can’t help but mirror and feel assured. “So what do you say? Do you want to get out of here?”
Your smile pulls into a smirk and you nod. “I do.”
Finally. This was going to be your time to finally be free.
——
Okay perhaps leaving and moments after escaping the First Order didn’t go as smoothly as you’d initially thought (too much wishful thinking on your part) but you got out. You were free. No more strings.
Yet you had to wonder.
“Are you sure it’s okay for me to be here?” You ask Finn once you both finally manage to find a peaceful time after the chaos.
“I’m sure,” he assures you with a kind smile, “they took me in didn’t they?”
You suck air through your teeth and feign a cringed look. “Did they though?”
Finn shoots you a pointed glare and fakes his laugh. Just as he’s about to retort a voice interrupts his thoughts. “Hey.”
Both Finn and you turn to notice a man you had seen many times before. Finn’s friend you assume, but can’t be certain of since there was no downtime for introductions when you first arrived. There wasn’t even time to take everyone in, everything was a rush after you left.
But now that you did have the time, you took a good look at the resistance fighter, noticing he was in fact very handsome and even if from the outside he looked intimidating, his eyes told a different story. They were dark and warm. There was something instantaneously captivating about him.
You can’t help but smile as you greet him. “Hello.”
His eyes drift to you and he blinks repeatedly, letting his lips tug into a half smile and uttering the same words he had said before. Only this time his voice sounded softer. “Hi.”
An amused grin grows on your lips and you surpass the need to laugh at his reaction. Something Finn notices too.
“Poe this is one of my oldest and best friends from the order,” Finn pauses for a brief moment to look at you, smiling to himself as an idea comes to his mind. “Y/N.”
Your eyebrows furrow and you tilt your head to meet his gaze. “Really?”
Finn shrugs, “take it or leave it, I’m not choosing anything else.”
You groan, “fine, I’ll take it.”
Finn rolls his eyes and turns back to his friend. “Anyways as I was saying, y/n meet Poe. The resistance fighter that helped me escape. Without him I don’t know where I’d be.”
Poe scoffs and shakes his head. “You got to give yourself some credit. If it wasn’t for your bravery in helping me break out I wouldn’t be alive.”
Finn scoffs too and just shrugs nonchalantly, noticing Poe’s gaze fall on you again and deciding to make an excuse to apparently do something else for a quick moment. Leaving Poe and you alone.
“So,” Poe breaks the silence, “what did you do when you were part of the first order? Were you a pilot? Or a foot soldier just like Finn?”
You shake your head and find yourself unable to break your gaze away from his. “No, I was a mechanic.”
“Ah, you’re in luck then, I need some help, this ship is falling apart by the second. Could you help me?”
You offer a short nod and begin to follow him to where he needs you, ending up below the floor of the ship and instantly seeing a solution for his problem.
“Lucky I got you here, another second and maybe the ship would’ve stopped in the vacuum space.” Poe tells you smugly.
You scoff and shake your head as you hook a last wire in another input. “Don’t say that or I’ll believe your lies.”
Poe chuckles. “Hey, I only compliment people when I see true amazing skill.”
You climb back up to the floor and show him a smirk, “you’re feeding my ego, it’s a dangerous thing.”
Poe shrugs with a faint smirk on his lips, choosing to change the subject shortly thereafter. “You know how to fly?”
You shake your head and sit across from him, letting your legs dangle over the open gap. “I could pull apart any ship and rebuild it without a need for a blueprint, and maybe even with my eyes closed, but I cannot for the life of me fly a ship. I’ve never had the chance.”
Poe quirks a brow at your surprising answer. “Really? I thought you would? I thought you would know how to do everything considering you’re a stormtrooper.”
You chuckle and shake your head. “That’s the stereotype, but no. I can sorta shoot a blaster, might as well have been born with the damn thing,” you explain, “and shooting is the first thing they teach you, but after that you aren’t taught much else. You get dropped into a station and you’re stuck there.” You shrug, “I’d love to learn though, I’ve always liked the concept of flying in space, feeling the adrenaline that comes with flying.”
Poe grins at looks at you with a soft gaze. Having to blink and express a sigh before he replied to you. “Flying is great and fun if you know how it enjoy it and do it properly.”
You smirk and slightly tilt your head. “Well if you know a great pilot that could teach me, please let me know. I’d love to learn.”
Poe smirks and leans his body closer to you. “I might know one or two.”
As if it had been out of instinct you lean in too, having your gaze briefly fall to his lips before you force yourself to look back at his dark eyes and respond. “Is that so?”
He nods and hums, “Mhmm, for starters,” he remarks smugly, letting his eyes fall to your lips for a brief moment. “I can teach you. I’m a great pilot. It wouldn’t cost you anything either.”
You bite the inside of your cheek and bat your eyelashes. “Really? That’s hard to believe. I mean being a great pilot and all, aren’t you busy?”
Poe shrugs and his smug smile spreads wider, “well I’m making an exception. For a pretty face and a new friend.”
You quirk a brow and again look down at his lips as you lean in again. Smirking as you see Poe cockily lick his lips when he leans in too. Leaving only a couple inches left between the both of you.
“well in that case sign me up. Just let me know when.”
“I could now.” He offers.
You stroke your chin and hum as you pretend to be in deep thought. Answering only after you pull away and stand to your feet. “I can’t right now, I’m busy. The ship needs some fixing. But how about in a more private setting? I tend to learn quicker when it’s just a one on one lesson. Crowds,” you roll out slowly, “distract me.”
Poe scoffs at your actions and chooses to stand up as well, taking a step towards you and choosing to quickly add more in the same soft and low voice. “You name the time and day and it’s a date.”
“Well that depends on you,” you shrug, “when are you free?”
“I’m free tomorrow night, how does that sound?”
You walk forward and stop to look over your shoulder to shoot him a sweet smile. “Sounds like a date.”
#star wars#star wars fanfiction#poe dameron#star wars imagines#star wars imagine#starwars#fanfiction#poe dameron fanfiction#poe dameron imagine#poe dameron imagines#Poe#poe imagine#poe imagines#poe angst#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron x stormtrooper!reader#request#poe dameron reader insert#Finn#BB8#fn 2187
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tw // s*lf harm, su*cidal ideation (sorry)
Hey, it’s the creepy NHS anon here.
Thank you for responding to my ask! I’m sorry you had such a rough time getting a diagnosis. You shouldn’t have had to go through all of that. Honestly it sucks that the NHS is so reluctant to diagnose anything mental health related.
When I was 14 I thought I had depression and anxiety. I finally convinced my mum to take me to the doctors when I was 16. The doctor was super nice. She tested my thyroid function just to make sure nothing else was causing my feelings, then referred me to CAMHS. That was…an interesting experience. I remember asking my counsellor to diagnose me, but then at the next session she said she couldn’t, that it “wouldn’t be helpful” because I was still growing. Now that I think about it, one of the days I was at school and during a class I was furious for some reason. I even said to a classmate that I was willing to fight anyone who got in my way. Despite my mum disagreeing with me, I cancelled my appointment that day. (My mum was worried they’d stop my sessions all together if I cancelled, but they didn’t.)
Fast toward to recent years and I’ve been on and off attempting to get a diagnosis. Last year (so when I was about 18) I asked to be referred to the autism clinic, and thankfully the GP accepted, but the clinic is still closed and even when it’s open I’ll still have to wait, possibly several years. Then I made another appointment (different GP) to be referred to a psychiatrist. She refused, saying that GPs are trained to deal with mental health issues. I brought up OCD, so she asked where I got my information from. When I told her I researched it online, she just brushed it off and then did the typical depression/anxiety test and she said both were severe, then said “take some drugs” (which is didn’t because I didn’t trust taking drugs prescribed by someone who did a 3 minute yes/no type quiz without actually fully exploring my issues).
I spoke to a different GP just over a month ago to get a fit note for my Universal Credit. It was supposed to just be to make adjustments to what I was supposed to do, but he didn’t ask what the note was for, so he marked unfit for work. Which is great because that’s secretly what I wanted but feared being judged by people around me for thinking I needed that (particularly my parents). I mentioned that I thought I could have OCD and CPTSD, and he didn’t deny it but he simply said CBT helps for both. He then asked if I was currently doing CBT and I said I’d done it before but I quit. (That’s a whole other story but tldr I really don’t think it was for me, or at least the “therapist” wasn’t.) He said he would send a self referral link.
Fast forward to a few days ago and I had another appointment with him to discuss my fit note (because it only lasts for a month and you have to go back to renew it, which sucks). He asked if I had referred myself to CBT and I said I hadn’t yet because I didn’t want to, and he said “please do that for me” in a somewhat stern voice. I then brought up BPD and I think he said he would refer me? Honestly I was a bit overwhelmed because he called 40 mins early and I was in the car with my dad, so I was super weary of him asking questions about what I was saying to the doctor (but he didn’t). He then brought up PD support groups, which I’m considering doing, but you have to call up the place and I literally hate phone calls. Oh, speaking of which, all the appointments from the autism one onwards were all on the phone, so not only was I struggling to process what they were saying to me most of the time, but I was also so anxious that I couldn’t articulate my feelings properly. :)
Anyways, I am 20 now, which I only mention because I feel the same as what you mentioned. My brother is married, my childhood crush is married, my friend who I introduced to my friend group who then proceeded to discard me is getting married. Everyone seems to know exactly what they’re doing. They all have friends. But not me. I haven’t had friends since I was 14, and even then I don’t think that friend group was entirely wholesome. They made me feel like an outcast, like I was weird, that I needed to be more like them and not be like me. Which has probably contributed to me having a very vague sense of identity. And I feel like I’m still 14 and yet everyone is expecting me to behave like an adult. I’m supposed to know what I’m doing with my life even tho I literally cried in the shop when I was pressured to choose between 2 pizzas.
I have no support system. My own parents seem very dismissive of my problems, equating everything to social anxiety. When I’m stressed out of mind to the point of feeling suicidal, my parents say “that’s just life”, which…well, feeds into the feelings. For years I’ve felt stressed. Then if I’m not stressed I feel absolutely nothing. And if I’m not feeling empty I am angry, sometimes for no reason. And if I’m not angry, I am curled in a ball trying to bottle up the urge to self harm and batting away suicidal thoughts.
It’s like I have a huge chain pulling me down underwater and everyone else is in the beach drinking cocktails or something. Sometimes I thrash and try to get people to notice, but people think I’m just having fun. Other days I just feel like letting the chain pull me down.
Please forgive me for rambling and probably not having a very consistent train of thought in this post. I have a tendency to blab on about my “problems” (if they even are that), I guess as a way to connect? Idk. This post makes no sense.
I hope you’re having a good day. <3
- 🌸✨ (in case I send another ask again, but I’ll try not to because I don’t wanna bother you)
So sorry you're going through something similar. My GP sounded exactly how yours was, the typical anxiety/depression test and then just throwing those at you.. they dont seem to be trained in diagnosing and they dont want to hear anything more either. It's honestly almost impossible getting a diagnosis through them, the system here is really messed up... its just disappointing and seems to be failing so many people including you.
It does sound like you're going through a hard time, it's not nice especially when you feel a loss of self identity, you dont even know who you are and just feel lost in life. I think that was definitely the main point of realising something was up.. I had a VERY distorted view of myself and others around me and that was why I'd often self sabotage everything and then I'd feel so empty and angry at the world and just explode...
If you can go privately then do so, therapists are not able to diagnose and they will usually tell you 'we don't like to label' but even without a diagnosis you can still see if you can access DBT therapy. Amazon also has lots of DBT workbooks that I've used and its helped me to really understand myself!
If you often feel invalidated by your parents then that is known to cause BPD or borderline traits, especially if you've been suffering with mental illness in childhood and they tried to claim that it was nothing....you mentioned anxiety and I was told the approach my parents may have took to my severe anxiety is what brought on many of my symptoms of BPD. You start to feel ashamed of yourself for feeling that way because your caregivers make it seem like the issue isnt important and you feel as if your feelings dont matter also because that is how you have been made to feel.
I'm not saying this is definitely the cause but in my case I was told that the constant feeling of invalidation may be why I have such a warped idea of myself and why I cannot regulate my emotions. I was never told HOW to regulate or shown how to, just told to ignore my emotions and now I dont know how to deal with them😀
but yeah I'd really recommend taking a look at some of those dbt books online or reading more into it so you have a better understanding of yourself. You've already taken the first step and that's identifying that something may be wrong so you are self aware and clearly want to change for the better 💕
I hope everything works out for you, it's not nice feeling this way but you've got this 🥺🙌
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**comfort character asks **
i’m scared of annoying moots w all these asks so i compiled them into a post!! also I feel like a lot of people enjoyed this so I'd always be happy to hear more about your comfort characters + I hope this can just be some warmth + lighthearted happiness to everyone <33
❥anon: I just convinced myself that Tsukki would love me because I kin Yamaguchi (we're both INFPs), but also because I'm usually really quiet and don't have an explosive personality, I wouldn't mind his saltiness too much and would like to be near him even if we are not talking/interacting
oh he definitely would like you- the way i see tsukishima I feel like your personality would be super ideal for him + he’d feel a sense of calmness around you. i see him just really trusting you + feeling at ease around you aww
❥ anon: my comfort character is tsukki (chile...i know) and i actually feel like we’d get along well bc we both have soft spots for yamaguchi and both would absolutely not be into anyone’s shit 😭 i’d still be a huge brat to him though because i too have an ego and a superiority complex at times 😔 but he’s a brat tamer so it’s all good
awww you, tsukki + yams just being the best friendship (you + tsukki being the couple tho👀)omg you two would be such a savage pair ahahaha + you’d egg each other on rip anyone who annoys you both. and you know what? brat supremacy, as you should
❥ @scorpiomoonweebs: _Hi hi hi so I know that this character isn’t from hq but my comfort character is Kirishima from MHA,, he makes me feel like I deserve to be loved and I think he would love me because I have so much love to give!! I’m great with communication nd I’d like to think I’m pretty! But overall I think he would love me because we’d be able to support each other and want to make sure the other is happy. ((This made me feel so nice to write out🥺 thank you so much))
hi! it’s okay I've watched most of bnha so im happy to chat about it :)) aww thatS SO CUTE + I completely agree w you. kirishima would think you’re beautiful + he would love to love you + receive your love back. your relationship would be so pure + sweet <33 you’re always welcome to chat about your fave characters w me btw, like I always welcome hcs in my ask box. also I really admire you for being so good to yourself + giving yourself credit for what you deserve, I hope I can be like you one day <33
❥ @starofmiran: i have so many comfort characters, but I'll just talk about the hq ones. Aone, I used to be selectively mute and extremely shy so I understand him being quiet so well and would have an easy time with what he's wanting to express without using words, I think. Tendou, I was bullied for my looks and still kinda am, so I just think we'd get along and I don't care what anyone thinks of how I look now?? Mattsun, I have an obsession with death so we could talk for HOURS about it without worry
aww that’d be so cute + I feel like you’d really understand aone + not be scared of him like everyone else does so he’d feel so safe + happy around you!! I'm so sorry those nasty people bullied you I think you're beautiful + you don’t deserve it all but tendou would love your look so much!! AN OBSESSION WITH DEATH I LOVE THAT SO MUCH omg you and mattsun just spending hours talking about dead bodies + death sgshsg- the thing is that’s such a surprising + rare thing to be interested in it’d be so cute for you and mattsun to talk about <3
❥ @kaaidalupita: noya would like me bc we’re both feral gremlins, i’d probably follow him around, and because i’m willing to try new things with him. Yaku would like me because i have a short temper, i’m not afraid to put people in their places, and i like to help others(he’d probably hate that i do it at my expense though)
BAHAHAH FERAL GREMLINS ME THREE! noya would love for you to follow him around + he'd take such good care of you (like remember when hinata calls him senpai + he gets super excited + takes it really seriously like it’s his responsibility) BAHAHA I SEE YAKU BEING REALLY PROUD OF YOU WHEN YOU GO OFF AT LEV maybe you even take it turns like ooh who’s gonna get pissed this time
❥anon: I think Kenma would like me bc im pretty calm and i dont really enjoy going outside... I play video games too but i'm not a super good player, i just like playing for fun. I would wrap him like a burrito with a blanket and just scratch his scalp from time to time, maybe kiss his cheeks if i see he is relax and we'll just spend the day like that. Cozy and confortable over all 👉🏻👈🏻 🥺
aww kenma would love it when you play with him for fun + maybe he’d even let you win a few times🥺aww BLANKET BURRITO SO CUTE + he would love that or maybe he’d get you to be part of the burrito too! thats super cute + I love comfortable dynamics like that
❥anon: I think Akaashi like me cause we like to read books together! I have my book in one hand and the other is intertwinted with his. He prepared some hot cocoa and we sip the drinks casually, a blanket on your laps with my legs on top of his. Dreamy sigh i'm Soft for this boy 🥺
that’s so cute- imagine bookshop dates too or picking up books for each other like ‘I think you’d like this’ god that’s just so damn cute I love this so so so much
❥anon: i’m not sure what i have to offer but i’d like to think aone would like that i’m rather low energy and remind him to relax and rest when he needs it and that it’s okay to slow down and take things at your own pace. i also feel like he’ll take a sense of pride in the food i cook for him and would enjoy cooking together and exchanging new recipes with each other. and just maybe he’ll find it a little cute how much smaller i am than him when i hold his hand... maybe
you have plenty of offer dont ever sell yourself short, okay? aone would be super proud of you- he’d be so appreciate of everything you do for him + that you cherish him too + you’d be the light of his life. he would really love cooking with you, I think he’d find it so relaxing and bc he’s so big he'd be so so gentle w you + feel so protective of you. you’d be his baby + he doesn't take criticism
❥ @kenji-futakoochi: Also super late to the party because timezones but-Aone would probably love how excitable I can be when I really start waffling on a topic that I love, he would probably be the only one content to actually listen through my 20 minute rants about random shit like my love of Mac n cheese and why only this brand is acceptable, or why this character in this show is an absolute cinnamon roll and my 30 point discussion as to why they deserve all the good things😅 I could talk for hours about random stuff like that you already know
that’s so cute + he really would, I love when people let you waffle on about the things you’re passionate about even if they don’t know what you're talking about ahahah + aone would defo do it w you! also yes desktop emojis!! here
#sweetheart asks <3#sweetheart: anon#sweetheart: kenji-futakoochi#sweetheart: kaaidalupita#sweetheart: starofmiran#yuli💞✨
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—ask collection!
a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!!
beware, fairly long post... woops....
chat asks.
darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.
vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?
that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡
darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--
vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...
darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general
vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡
this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡
darling @blossomiich: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!
vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and
j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...
darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?
vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian.
my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!
darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa
Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon
vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...
please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺
also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa
vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh
the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...
therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔
sweet asks.
darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!
darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.
vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺
as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!
have a great day yourself, my love!!
darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL
vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡
darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳
vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!
darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.
You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).
I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.
darling two: hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!
darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤
darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:
darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!
darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕
vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah
also, to the anon worried about my safety:
thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!
#asks collection#not a fic#vanya rambles#[ vanya LITERALLY rambles ]#[ life's hard when you're this asocial i swear fgmnfgnmfg ]#[ now to answer concept asks ]
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could i get axis, allies, spain, romano, prussia, canada & hong kong finding out their best friend is ace? this might be a weird request but my dad didnt take it well when i came out earlier tonught and its ok if you dont want to write this one
Updated because I forgot Toni! D:
America:
Alfred lets out a single, surprised "Dude." He then gives you the biggest, brightest smile you have ever seen, warming you from the inside out. "That is so cool!" He has questions, of course, most of them revolving around "How did you find out?" and "Wait, are you telling me you don't think Chris Evans is hot?" Overall, he is a big ball of positivity, though he's much more serious when asking if you wanted to meet up with the local PFLAG sometime. He often attends meetings anyway; there's usually free food, and he's heard some really awesome presentations. Overall though, he is your biggest, most enthusiastic ally, in this and every adventure you two have ahead.
Canada:
Matthew doesn't really have time to process your words, whispered in a sudden rush just as the opening credits for the film were starting, but then he catches on. He quickly shoves aside his surprise at not realizing before; he wants to take the remote from you, barricaded as it is within the depths of your blanket fort, but you have a firm grip on it, gaze riveted to the television. He takes a moment to study your tense frame, notices how nervous you were to tell him. With a soft sigh of fond exasperation, he slides closer to you, lightly elbowing you in the side. When he knows he's caught your attention, he offers a wide smile, a silent affirmation that has you dropping your head into his chest in relief, a soft: "Thanks, Mattie," escaping in a contented hum.
China:
Yao is- in a word- confused. In some ways, he is very much the old man he pretends not to be, and his lack of knowledge about queer history is an indicator of that. At first, he would ask if you meant to become a monk; is this some form of abstinence? When did you decide this? Were you vegan, too? It would take patience to explain it to him in full, and there will be some slip-ups. But he absolutely adores you; with a little time, a lot of patience, and maybe a few conveniently misplaced books, he'll understand. And even in that time before- He's always going to be there for you.
England:
Arthur is surprised. Sometimes your jokes are dirtier than his, and Lord knows you have an eye for attractive people. But thinking back, he's never seen you hold more than a passing fancy in anyone, and every date you were on never lasted longer than a few hours. He can tell you're nervous about having told him, anxiously turning away from him to put all your energy into glaring at the canal water. Gently, he steps closer to you, placing a hand on your shoulder, the acceptance in his gestures. He doesn't bother with words; your sigh of relief is confirmation enough that he doesn't need any anyway.
France:
Francis is flattered that you're confiding in him, and he offers immediate, enthusiastic support. He's touched that you trusted him enough to tell him. He's had several partners in the past who have also fallen on the spectrum, and it made him perhaps one of the more understanding nations. He would ask you if there was anything he could do to support you further, and thanks you for telling him. No matter what, he will always love you for who you are, and treasures your friendship just as much as before.
Germany:
Ludvig was startled when you flopped onto the couch beside him, top of your head just missing his thigh, your admission groaned in a series of hypothetical questions that were all too pointed to be anything but truthful. Gently closing his book to set it aside, he placed his hand on your back, lightly brushing it back-and-forth in what he hoped to be a comforting gesture. He wasn't really surprised; seeing your interactions with others all hinted at it. But, he could tell it was bothering you and makes certain to reassure you, a firm, unwavering presence always by your side.
Hong Kong:
Leon has suspected for a while now. It wasn't necessarily clear from your words or your mannerisms, but there was just something about your vibe that gave him hints. When you brought up the courage to confide in him, confirming his suspicions, he feels an overwhelming sense of humility. He thanks you for confiding in him, fully aware of how hard coming out can be. While he may not personally understand it, he easily accepts it as just another part of who you are. And in his opinion? You're always gonna be a badass, and he has a dozen more pranks he wants to play with you.
Japan:
Kiku is a bit relieved, truth be told. He tries not to show how happy he is to have one of his closest friends also fall on the spectrum, instead focusing that energy into a smile of gratitude, thanking you for telling him. He has never really felt the need to come out himself, having long ago just accepted it as part of who he is. He can't really repress his contentment as you turn back to your otome game, your eyes furrowed in concentration. He makes a note to subtly recommend some ace-positive manga to you, knowing that even a little representation can be a constant reassurance.
Prussia:
Gilbert is honestly confused at first; what on earth is that? He's familiar enough with the meanings for LGBT, but he hasn't heard the term "asexual" before. He's quick to reassure you that he's not trying to be a dick; he's genuinely confused. As you start to explain, he feels his confusion morph into surprise and a bit of relief. He didn't realize there was actually a word for how he felt, let alone a whole community. He gives you a smile, declares that you're still awesome enough to be graced with the honour of his presence before he resumes his game, mentally making a note to do more research on his own.
Romano:
Lovino is... To be honest, he's torn. He's long ago familiarized him with a bunch of orientations- between Felice and Cello he really didn't have much choice in the matter- but oddly enough asexuality hadn't been one of them. The concept is kind of hard to wrap his head around. You aren't interested in sex? Are you serious? He doesn't get it, not really. But, he knows how hard it can be to be open with others, and he appreciates how much you trust him enough to confide in him. He takes your hand across the table- nearly spilling your drinks in the process- and assures you that he's always got your back, no matter what.
Russia:
Ivan is wholeheartedly supportive, taking you mildly by surprise. You had expected him to be a little leery of the concept, perhaps even opposed to it. He won't lie; he's kind of hurt at the assumption and is quick to reassure you that nothing comes in the way of how much he loves you. You're his friend- his closest confidant- and all he cares about is knowing that you're happy and safe, that helping you embrace who you are to feel comfortable in your own skin is his top priority. If there is any sort of fallback to fear, it's his threat to expect an increase of illegal memes, all of them based on ace puns and pride.
Spain:
Antonio is very nonchalant about the whole situation. He takes it in stride as easily as if you were to say it was going to partially cloudy tomorrow, never ceasing the swinging of your hands as you continue wandering the Gothic Quarter. He is very casual with his questions: How long have you known? Have you told anyone else? Upon confirmation to these and the dozen or so other questions he has for you, he simply gives your hand a small squeeze, twirling you as soon as there's enough space in the alley. He wants to make sure you feel comfortable around him, and it's his small way of assuring you that you can always tell him anything.
Veneziano:
Feliciano starts to panic, just a little. Had he overstepped your boundaries? Had he ever made you uncomfortable? You're quick to reassure him, his worrying ironically making the conversation a lot easier. He has dozens of questions for you- all of them revolving more about the specifics. Are you still interested in romance? Are you under the general ace umbrella, or were you possible demi or grey? Did you want him to cancel the blind date he set up for you? If anything, Feli is immediately invested, only wanting to make sure that you always felt loved and safe with him, and promising that you can always tell him anything.
Anon,
I'm sorry it didn't go well with your dad. I know from firsthand experience how hard it can be to come out to someone, and unfortunately, I also know how much it hurts not finding the love and acceptance you had been hoping for.
Please know that you are always accepted for who you are here. My inbox is always open if you ever want to talk, and my ask is always open in case you would prefer to remain anonymous.
Please take care, Lovely. Don't lose hope. <3
#asexuality#platonic#america x reader#canada x reader#china x reader#england x reader#france x reader#germany x reader#japan x reader#prussia x reader#hong kong x reader#romano x reader#russia x reader#veneziano x reader#though none of these are technically x readers sooo#this was actually kind of liberating to write#anon i hope these helped#all of the boys would gladly support you and i am hopeful that your dad will come around too#there are a lot of us out here and sincerely if you ever need to vent or have questions or anything i am here to listen#aph imagine#imagine aph#aph imagines#imagine hetalia#hetalia imagine#hetalia imagines#asexual reader#hetalia headcanons#aph headcanons#anon asks#spain x reader
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Hi! Can I have images for maki, shuichi, and rantaro who are dating an S/O who is struggling with their weight due to medical/allergy reasons (for reference, it's called exercise induced anaphylaxis) and is feeling self concious? If you dont want to write an overweight S/O then you can just do the self concious bit
Hi, anon! Thanks for the request. Sorry that it took me forever to fulfill (I thought I wasn’t going to ever get to the requests at the bottom of my inbox, but I looked back and thought I’d like to do some). Icon credit to mckindonalds!
It wasn’t an easy request for me to fulfill since I wasn’t sure what was appropriate for the reader to say or exactly how they felt about it, but this is kind of just a piece of comfort in each one. I hope you find something that you like in these imagines, although I’m unsure if this is what you were hoping for exactly. Hopefully, Maki isn’t too OOC because I didn’t make her very tsundere at all. Under the cut, since altogether it makes the post rather long.
Maki, Shuichi, & Rantaro x S/O with Exercise-Induced Anaphylaxis
Maki Harukawa
Maki rapped on the door politely. She had manners, unlike a certain someone she might name. After a short while, you came to the door.
“Sorry,” you apologized. “I didn’t-”
“You didn’t want to move too fast in case you got sick,” she finishes for you. “I understand,” she says. Contrary to her cold demeanor, her dark red eyes softened around the edges as she looked at you, her beloved, and she came inside the house with the slightest of smiles playing at her lips.
You lead her to your room, and the two of you sit on the floor and chat. At first, it was only idle chatter: what each of you’d been up to recently, and how the summer weather was treating you. But somehow, you end up saying the words, the feelings you had never wanted to reveal to her.
“I hate this. I wish I could be normal,” you say spitefully before gasping and covering your mouth. You desperately tried to bite back the tears and stared at the floor heatedly. All the tears you’d been swallowing day after day, night after night, year after year. You could do it again.
You felt a hand grab yours, and you looked to see Maki’s small but strong grasp on yours. You felt weaker than ever.
“Hey. Look at me,” she says, and you do. Her eyes are filled with concern and a tinge of sadness. You chew on your lip softly.
“Maki?”
She grabs your other hand in hers, too, and somehow it only triggered more feelings you thought you’d left behind long ago. Feelings you buried never really went away; they marinated in the new feelings and warped, but they were still here. Feelings of shame, rage, and self-hatred.
“Is it so bad to show your weakness to me?” Maki says quietly. “You know I was an assassin, and I’ve talked to you about all the ugly, terrible things I’ve done and seen. They’re not the same at all, but that’s my weakness, and I’ve shared it with you.”
You tighten your hold on Maki’s hand slightly. Somehow, your hands fit together so perfectly.
“I thought my weakness was obvious,” you said self-deprecatingly, throwing a wayside glance at yourself. Your body.
She shakes her head firmly. Without letting go of your hands, she gets on her knees and shifts over closer to you, so that your bodies are almost touching.
“I know you struggle with losing weight because of your condition,” she says. “But I hadn’t realized that you’d been suffering so much.”
Maki sounded sorrowful. It was maybe the most emotion you’d ever felt from her, aside from when she had been talking about her time as an assassin or was pissed off by certain people.
“...Are you disappointed?” you say. You didn’t want to hear the answer if it was yes, but you still asked anyway.
“No. Never,” she replies, and she looks you right in the eye. “You’re just as strong as you’ve always been. But there’s no harm in sharing your worries and pains with me. I’m your partner. I’m supposed to be here for you, and I want to be here for you.”
You attempt a weak smile.
“Is it a part of the contract?”
She sighs.
“I’m serious, s/o.”
“So am I,” you joke, and you feel the heaviness in your heart slowly dissolving.
Maki presses her forehead to yours.
The funny thing about being in a relationship with Maki was that she was so much more daring and affectionate than she would’ve been once her feelings were returned. She wasn’t as cold, per se, as she was before you two were together.
“I love you, s/o.”
Your breath was whisked away by those words, and you froze.
Maki squeezed your hands gently. “...s/o? Hey, are you not breathing or something?”
Right. She was close enough to tell.
You breathed in slowly.
“Are you sure?” you say. But you know the answer. She wouldn’t say what she doesn’t mean.
“I’m sure,” she laughs, and she kisses you sweetly. “You’re beautiful.”
More words that would take away your breath. But you breathe normally this time. She was sweeter than any air you could ever take in, though.
“I love you too, Maki. And for the record, I’m the ugly one in this relationship.”
She pouts and draws away slightly, releasing your hands and putting her hands on your shoulders instead so she can look you in the face from the right distance.
“That would be me,” she says. “You’re always smiling, and you have the most beautiful smile ever. Tell me if anyone says anything to oppose that, and I’ll punch them for you.”
You chuckle.
“Your services are always appreciated, but that’s alright. I can punch them myself,” you respond. “But fine. Neither of us is the ugly one. We can both be beautiful.”
Maki nods in satisfaction.
“We are both beautiful.”
You can’t help giggling at her statement. It would sound so funny out of context. She leans in and tweaks your nose slightly. “And what are you laughing at, huh?”
You bat at her hand.
“Hey!”
You fall into a fit of laughter with her, and the two of you lie on the ground, cheeks hurting from smiles and joy. Somehow, it was so easy to feel at ease around her. Even your most heavily guarded worries and pains seemed to sprout wings and fly away in her presence.
“Thanks, Maki.”
“What for?” she says and turns to look at you. Her serious expression makes your heart skip a beat, and you wet your lips nervously. Sometimes you still felt like you just had a crush on her instead of being in a real relationship with her.
“Never mind that,” you reply, and you roll over and press a kiss to her lips. “I need to recharge.”
She arches an eyebrow.
“Oh? Well, now that you mention it, so do I.”
You find yourself in her warm embrace and rather preoccupied for the rest of the day.
Shuichi
“Shuichi?”
The two of you were sitting on the couch and, up until that time, had been reading quietly in companionship with each other. He set his book down, probably sensing something in your tone.
“Yes?”
You weren’t looking at him, although he had now turned to look at you. Instead, you were poking at your round tummy.
“Why am I like this?”
He reached out and grabbed your hand, stopping you from poking yourself. You glanced at him, and his dirty gold eyes were serious.
“Like what?”
You sighed.
“You know.”
He shook his head stubbornly, looking irritated for once.
“No, I don’t.”
You struggled to take back your hand, but instead, he somehow made it so the two of you were holding hands snugly.
“Ugh. Why do I look like this?” you complained and avoided eye contact with him. He was surprisingly persistent when it came to you saying things like this.
He pulled you closer to him so that you were leaning on him, and let go of your hand only to wrap his arm around you.
“You look like you. You look lovely.”
You groaned.
“But I don’t want to look like this. It’s because I can’t exercise that I’m like this.”
“Do you think your true self lies elsewhere?” he asks. “Do you think this body isn’t you?”
You pondered.
“I don’t really know because I’ve pretty much always been like this. Of course, my body has changed since childhood, but...I’ve never lived without this.”
There was contemplative silence for a while. Shuichi seemed to always compel you to think more about everything in his presence.
“...I still love you either way. I know it’s hard, but I’m here for you,” he says solemnly. “I won’t let you just agonize over this alone. You’re my s/o, after all.”
You turn your head to look at him, and you’re suddenly aware of how close in proximity the two of you are.
“Is that a promise?” you say, one side of your lips quirking upwards.
He leans in and boops your nose with his own.
“Always.”
Rantaro
You were lying on the bed side-by-side with Rantaro, cuddling. He was gently petting your head, as he sometimes did, and you leaned into his touch. It was comfortable and soothing. It would be easy to fall asleep under these circumstances. You sighed.
“Is something wrong?” he said, sounding slightly concerned. “I think that’s the fifth time you’ve sighed today.”
“I...no, it’s nothing. I was just thinking.”
He peered into your eyes curiously.
“About what?”
You sighed again.
“About my condition. And how I wouldn’t look like this if I didn’t have it.”
He didn’t say much for a moment, just continued to pet your head. Then, he responded.
“Do you not like your appearance?”
You bit your lip softly.
“I wish I was thinner.”
“And why is that?”
You reached out and played with a lock of his wavy green hair.
“Because...I would be more good-looking.”
Rantaro was quiet for another few seconds, looking contemplative.
“Do you honestly think you would be more good-looking if you were thinner, or is that what society’s conditioned you into thinking? That thinner is more beautiful or handsome?”
You were frustrated and looked away from those probing eyes.
“Well, it’s not like it’s just that I wish I was thinner because I think I’m ugly. My condition isn’t exactly healthy.”
He stopped moving for a moment and then continued to pet your head.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. Since we’d just been talking about your appearance at first… Well, it’s not an excuse. Aside from your condition causing health issues, I still think you’re as good-looking as good-looking gets, though.” He smiles in that casual, carefree way of his, and you can’t help but forgive him.
“Alright, alright. Your opinion is the only one that matters, huh?” You arch an eyebrow and smirk at him. “Pretty boy.”
He raised his hands in defense.
“Hey, I was born this way.”
You rolled your eyes and lightly punched him on the shoulder.
“You were born this way, but you dress this way on purpose.”
“Ouch,” he grins. “But true. And yes, for the record, my opinion is the only one that matters. At least, when it comes to you. ‘Cause I love you, and I’m blessed to have you in my life.”
You freeze for a moment and then grinned back at him.
“I love you too, Rantaro. And I’m lucky to be loved by you.”
He pulls you into his embrace and affectionately smooches you on your forehead.
“Ditto.”
#rantaro amami#maki harukawa#shuichi saihara#danganronpa imagines#ndrv3 imagines#ndrv3#danganronpa#dr imagines#dr#saihara shuichi#harukawa maki#amami rantaro#imagines#drv3 imagines#drv3#new danganronpa v3#danganronpa v3#x reader#slash#health condition#exercise-induced anaphylaxis#self-conscious#self-esteem issues#tw self-esteem issues#body image#tw body image#i have no clue what is a trigger or not ahhh#request#requested#lux writes
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Warped Tour Surprise
Gif Credit @bloodrunluv-blog
Requested By Anon I hope you enjoy it
Hope you all enjoy.
Happy Reading Dollies
@chriscrosscerulli @ryansitkowskiswifey @ilovetaquitosmmmm
"Warped tour here we come". You cheered as you started loading your bag into the tour bus.
"This year is going to be great". Chris kissed your lips.
"And why is that"?
"Because you're here and we can have tons of sex".
"That's the only reason"?
"No, I'm glad you're here with me. We get to spend time together and go to concerts like normal couples".
"That sounds truly romantic, Chris. I love you".
"I love you too". He kissed you again, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder smacking your ass on the way to the door.
"Crazy goon, put me down". He threw you on the couch. You landed with a thud and your head landed in Ryan's lap.
"Hi there". You smiled looking up at him. Ryan was not impressed.
"Hi".
"Chris come get your girlfriend out of my lap and put her in yours".
"She's yours. I need a break she's been on my lap all night". Chris laughed as you gasped getting off Ryan.
"You liar. He's been in my lap the whole night".
"I really don't want to hear about your sex life. Please shut up".
"Oh Ryan, you love me".
"The jury is still out on that". Ryan chuckled as he went back to his phone.
"Babe, I'm going to lay down for a bit". You told Chris.
"You okay. Don't tell me you're getting sick we just started warped tour".
"No just tired. I didnt get much sleep last night". You winked at Chris as Ryan groaned.
"I'm still here hearing about your sex life".
"Good night". You kissed his lips and headed off to his bunk.
You must have slept for hours because when you woke up you were already there. The guys were walking around getting to know the band's that were playing.
Getting out of bed your head started to feel dizzy as you stood up. You quickly sat back down. Feeling nauseous and light headed you crawled back into bed and tried going back to sleep. You shrugged it off as the motion of the bus moving.
"Y/N"? Feeling a hand shake you a groan came from you.
"What"?
"You're missing all the fun". It was Chris.
"I'm not in the mood for fun. I don't feel good".
"What's wrong"?
"I think the bus ride made me dizzy and nauseous".
"Yeah that can happen if you haven't been on a long bus ride before. It will get better. You need anything"?
"No I'm good. Going to try and sleep some more".
"Okay. Rest well". Chris kissed your temple and rubbed your leg before leaving.
The night came Chris and the band were back inside they were up front talking and laughing. A very awful taste came into your mouth as you were sleeping. You tried swallowing it down but the more you swallowed the stronger the urge got to throw up.
"Oh fuck". You covered your mouth throwing yourself off the bed and leaped over the piles of bags and clothes in the floor and bolted to the bus bathroom.
Blech blech. The sounds of your lunch hit the toilet. Your eyes were watering and you throat burned.
"What is that"? Ricky asked, quieting everyone down.
"Everyone's here". Balz looked around.
"Y/N". Chris yelled sprinting to the bathroom. He knocked on the door.
"Y/N, you okay"?
"No". You gagged as a piece of food got stuck in your throat.
"I get you a sprite and some crackers". You heard him walk away.
"What's happened"? Ricky questioned.
"She's sick. I think she has motion sickness from the bus". Chris grabbed a can of sprite and a sleeve of crackers heading back to you.
"Hope she feels better".
Chris knocked again then came in. You sat on the floor with a rag on your face.
"Here you go". Chris popped the top on the can and handed it to you.
"Thanks". You cleared your throat. It was hurting and you sounded terrible. You haven't thrown up this much since the last time you got food poisoning at the seafood restaurant that Chris took you for your birthday six months ago.
"I'm sorry". He crouched beside you. Removing the wash cloth you eyed him.
"It's not your fault. I'm just not use to it like you are. I'll be better tomorrow".
"Do you need anything like motion sickness medicine"?
"No. Just leave me the bathroom, keep me in sprite and just love me".
"I can do that". He chuckled.
"Oh and guess what"?
"What"?
"Slipknot is playing one show here. They're the special guest".
"No f-ing way".
"So you need to get better. I want to take you to their concert".
"I'm already better. It's a date". You blew a kiss to him when he closed the door checking on you before he left.
Two days have past and you sickness hasn't stopped. Chris was getting worried but you just shrugged it off until you felt you threw up a lung. Your back hurt and you didn't feel like yourself.
"I'm taking you to the hospital". Chris grabbed your bag and started putting clothes in it.
"I'm not going to the hospital. I'm fine. This will pass".
"You haven't ate a proper meal in three days. You live on sprite and crackers. That's not healthy".
"Chris".
"Please go. For me"? He looked at you with those puppy dog eyes.
"Fine but under one condition".
"What"?
"You can't go". Chris shook his head.
"No, I'm going to be there. What if something is wrong"?
"Then I will call you".
"What if you dont have time? They will take you to surgery and I will never know".
"I'm going alone or not at all".
"Okay you dont want me to go the you're going with Ryan".
"Ryan"?
"Yes".
"Ask him, he's going to say no".
"Ryan will you take Y/N to the hospital"? Chris asked Ryan who was sitting in his bunk playing a game.
"Yeah".
"Ryan you're supposed to say no".
"You really need to go. I will wait out in the waiting room for you".
"Fine. Let's go". You groaned. Getting out of your nice warm bunk.
Ryan and you waited in the waiting room what seemed like forever but it was only twenties minutes. You had thrown up six times in that time. The nurse was afraid you would pass out.
"We are the only ones here what is taking so long"? Ryan bounced his leg.
"We might be the only ones you see but this hospital is probably filled with a lot of people. If you don't want to be here then you can go"?
"No, I told Chris I would take you and I am".
"I just hate hospitals".
"I know. Me too. Just relax and play on your phone".
"It dying". Ryan huffed.
"Here play on mine". You handed him your phone.
"Thanks".
"Miss Y/L/N"? A nurse called you.
"Here". You smiled at Ryan and followed the nurse. Ryan sat there quietly playing on your phone, texting Chris every few minutes with up dates.
"So miss Y/L/N, what brings you in here today"? Your doctor asked as she looked at your chart.
"I'm on tour with my boyfriend and we ride in a tour bus so the day we got to the site I got this feeling of nausea and I was dizzy. I thought it was just motion sickness but this has been going on for three days now, it's gotten worse and it doesn't seem to be letting up any time soon".
"Okay, lets take a look at you and see what we can do". You laid down on the exam table. She lifted up your shirt and started touching your stomach.
"I'm guessing you are sexually active"?
"Yes but we always use condoms".
"Are you on birth control"?
"No, I have really bad side effects in using birth control so I don't take any".
"Okay".
"I'm going to run a few test and see maybe something will show up".
"Fine".
The nurse came and drew blood and she hooked you to a IV you were dehydrated from all the throwing up.
"Everything has came back normal except one".
"Oh god".
"You're pregnant. Congratulations".
"What? How? I mean I know how but woah".
"I'd say you're about six months".
"Six months"?
"Yes".
"Can you get morning sickness after you find out"?
"Some have morning sickness through out the pregnancy and others only get it some on and off". "Why do ask"?
"Six months again I got food poisoning or could I have been pregnant at the time and it was just telling me and I didn't listen"?
"You may have been. Did you go to the doctor"?
"No. It was over in twenty-four hours".
"Then you may have been. It's highly likely".
"This is insane, really". Your mind was blown.
"Do you want to keep it"?
"Yes. Yes. I'm happy its just very unexpected thats all". "I came in here thinking I'm dying and I'm just pregnant".
"How did I not know"?
"The baby was probably playing hide and seek with you coming out at night and hiding during the day. Has you appetite increased"?
"Yeah but I was under stress so I thought stress eating".
"Well you're pregnant and not dying so you're boyfriend is going to get a shock of his life". She said with a chuckle.
"Yeah he is".
After the doctors you went to get something to eat. She had given you motion sickness pills to help you eat. Ryan was asking all sorts of questions on the way there.
"Are you okay"?
"Ryan yes. I'm just hungry". You said taking a bite out of your burger. "Mmmmmm, so good".
"Did she drug you"?
"No".
"Then why all of the sudden can you eat"?
"She gave me motion sickness meds and I'm pregnant".
"What"!!
"I'm pregnant and if you tell Chris before I do you'll never be able to play a guitar again".
"What"?!!! He was stunned. It wasn't even his kid and he was shocked.
"I'm pregnant". You took the last bite of your burger.
"I didn't know you two were trying"?
"We weren't. It just happened. Can you get me another burger"?
"Here you can have mine". Ryan handed you his burger.
"You think its a bad idea that I keep the baby"?
"No, I just can't believe that Chris is the first one to have a kid. I thought it would be Ricky or Vinny".
"Vinny? He's still a kid". You giggled.
"Exactly, they can learn to grow up together".
"Seriously though, I'm happy for you". He gave you a shy smile.
"Thanks Ryan".
"Now let's get you back before Chris has my head".
"Do you know the stage manager for slipknot"?
"Yeah"?
"Can you give them a call? I need to talk to them".
"Okay"? Ryan took out his phone and handed it to you. The drive back to warped tour you were planning something for Chris.
"Y/N". Chris wrapped his long arms around your waist.
"How did it go"?
"I was dehydrated and she just gave me meds for the nausea".
"That's all"?
"Yeah". You looked at Ryan who was hiding his face. He really couldnt keep a secret as big as this from Chris.
"Ryan"?
"Yeah, everything's good. But...". You gulped when Ryan said but.
"She has her appetite back so we may need more food". Thank God he didn't say anything.
"I figured she would. Im glad you're fine". "Are you ready to party tonight"?
"Yeah, I'm waiting for that date".
"They're about to go on. You want to head over there"?
"Yeah". You wrapped your arm around his waist his arm around your shoulder and walked to the Slipknot stage.
"Come on". You pulled Chris to the back with the Slipknot crew.
"We can't be back here". Chris sneaked in as you giggled.
"Y/N"? The manager waved you over.
"Wait, you know him"? Chris was in aww.
"Hey there".
"After the last song you can go on there".
"Thank you so much".
"No problem". He said with a smile.
"You're fucking kidding me? We're going on stage with Slipknot"? Chris was acting like a kid in a candy store.
"Yes".
"How"?
"I have connections". Chris kissed you hard and passionate.
It was the second to last song. You and Chris were rocking out to one of Chris's favorite songs. You're surprised Chris hasn't gotten whiplash but you'd worry about that later. He was is happy.
You could hear Corey tell the audience that the lead singer of Motionless in white is coming on stage with his girlfriend.
"That's your queue". The manager pointed to the front.
"Lets go". You grabbed Chris's sweaty hand and pulled him on stage. His face was frozen. He was nervous being there with a person he looked up to.
"Hi ya doing Chris"? Corey asked.
"Great". Chris mumbled into the mic.
"Wonderful, now this little lady has something to tell you". He handed you the mic.
"Chris, I'm having so much fun with you in this fairy tale and I think it's time we add a new chapter to it".
"I'm pregnant".
Chris starred at you with a blank expression. You understand that it was a shock but this was funny.
"You okay there pal"? Corey asked Chris who nodded and mumbled a few words.
"You sure, do we need a medic"?
"No".
"So, what do you think"?
"We're going to need a bigger tour bus". Chris ran his hand through his hair.
"Yeah but are you happy"?
"Yes. Fuck yes". He hugged you tightly swirling you around on stage.
"Give a round of applause for the new parents". Corey clapped. Chris quickly hugged him and squealed. You didn't know if he was happy about the baby or hugging Corey Taylor.
"I'm so fucking happy". Chris screamed, you giggled hugging him.
"I love you".
"I love you too". Chris kissed you sweetly with his hand on your belly.
Chris was truly happy until you told him that you were six months along then he fainted. He thought he had some time to get things ready but the baby would be here in no time. The guys still couldnt believe that Chris was the first to knock a girl up and become a dad when you told them.
#chris motionless#chris motionless x reader#chris motionless imagines#motionless in white#motionless in white imagine#chris motionless fanfiction#happys-crazy-queen22
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(1/?)Um so school has just recently started and on the third day I was already crying having a break down. I think that writing would help me be a bit more calm you know organize the brain and all that good stuff. But the thing is I've kinda told myself that 2 months ago that I was gonna write and I still haven't. I even deleted my discord and told myself that I would not log on again till I write. And well let's just say I still haven't reinstalled discord. The thing is writing just ✍🏽🚫
(2/3)Writing just sucks so much I hate it. I'm not even writing like a book or anything its just suppose to be my feelings, but I hate it. I feel like it takes forever just to write less then half a page. I also feel like my thoughts and my hand writing speed are so off. I also just don't like thinking about half the things going on in my head. ✍🏽🚫
(3/3)Sometimes I cant even get the thoughts I need to write out of my head. Like my brain just turns off. My hand writing also be ugly. So can I get some advice on how to make writing not so miserable so I actually do it. Idk me and writing just dont get along.
Hi ✍🏽🚫 Anon,
Let’s get a little meta. How did you feel after you wrote these asks? Any calmer? Maybe not..
But, how long did it take you? Because these three asks are just under half a page. And it kind of seems like you accomplished some of your writing goals:
You wrote something
You wrote about feelings you’re having
And, yeah, it’s just your feelings about writing, but give yourself the credit! You might be struggling because you’ve set up too many rules about what, and how, you can write. If you can’t write what you intended, just write anything. Write about how pissed you are that you can’t write what you wanted. Write about how frustrating it is, and how there was that other time you felt frustrated, and then that thing will remind you of something else, and something else, and pretty soon you’ve got a whole page. If you can’t form your sentence, a single word will do.
Try free writing. Here is the first example, and the second. Sometimes it just involves writing the same word over and over again until your brain lets it go. Sometimes it’s about writing every synonym you can think of for a word until you find the one that feels right, even though you were just in the middle of a sentence. Throw grammar out the window. The only goal is to get letters on the page.
Before you do that, though, put yourself in a good mood and reinstall discord. Punishing yourself for not doing an activity, when that activity’s only purpose is to make you feel better, can be surprisingly counterproductive. You’re bored and in a bad mood because you’re punishing yourself, and writing sucks more because it’s associated to the punishment. If you’re mind is stimulated by all the discord happenings, then you’re going to be in a better place to write if you let yourself have it. Give yourself that downtime each day. Put a limit on the total time, like 30 minutes, and then switch your attention to your paper and pencil. If you miss your time limit, that’s okay, just start when you remember.
A lot of people struggle to write a fast as they think. That’s just because our muscles can’t keep up with the super-computer that is our brain. A lot of people turn to typing to get around that, but if you don’t have that option, you can practice to write faster by hand. Here’s a youtube video that gives some fast-writing tips, and here’s a wiki link that talks about Teeline Shorthand, which is a journalism trick to get information down fast. These two strategies could be combined so that you train your hand muscles to get faster, and at the same time, you’re learning an altered alphabet that is designed to be written quickly. If no one else has to read it, it won’t matter if they don’t know shorthand.
You can also use shorthand to make coded messages to your pals.
As far as ugly handwriting... this is one of those things that no one worries about except the person themselves, and maybe your teachers. No one else is judging your handwriting. It doesn’t matter how it looks once you’re out of school. I know a guy who writes as well with his foot as he does with his dominant hand, which is it say, it’s completely illegible both ways! And it affects exactly zero aspects of his adult life.
Other ways you can make writing more enjoyable would be, use colored inks! Get some sparkle pens! Make some lemon juice ink and write your friends secret messages! Model your layout after the illuminated manuscripts, and make some doodles! Writing to calm yourself means it should be something that’s actually enjoyable, so let yourself do whatever you need to do to actually enjoy it. There are no rules but the ones you set yourself.
-Miss Fay
#✍🏽🚫#✍🏽🚫 anon#school#break down#writing#discord#feelings#thoughts#handwriting#writing hacks#free writing#speed writing#teeline shorthand#lemon ink#long post
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time’s arrow {Roger Taylor}
Anon asked: Hi, I love your roger/ben imagines so much and was wondering if you could do some angst with Roger x female, maybe they are good friends and she sees him with another. Whatever you would like! Thank you x :)
A/N: 2727 words. A story told through Seasons. I took a little bit of liberties with the prompt, if that’s okay? This hit me like a lightning bolt and I had to write it. Angst with a happy ending. (I’m just trying to show I’ve got versatility in writing, okay?)
Warnings: Implied sex.
You meet him in Spring, before it all begins, he sits up the back of your Intro to Head and Neck Anatomy lectures, the only class with open spots available by the time you were looking for a science credit. You find out he’s in a band three weeks into the first class, finally going to the local bar, sick of cramming your brain full of information you’re not even sure is necessary for your degree. He grins at you and wow okay, you didn’t even think he’d recognise you.
“You’re in, um,” he’s leaning against the bar next to you in this dimly lit pub, grabbing a drink between sets. Faltering for a moment, his eyes travel down before you clear your throat, angry at yourself for blushing, but his smile widens, “my class.” He finishes, taking a sip of his beer. You agree, rolling your eyes at him, but even that seems to amuse him. He asks your name. The guitarist is calling him over, setting up for the next set, but you tell him before he leaves. Something tightens in your chest when, later that night, he catches your eyes mid-song, his look of intense focus shifting for a moment as he grins, giving you a wink.
He takes to sitting next to you in lectures, chewing the end of his pencil and taking occasional notes in a falling apart notebook that looks as though he uses it for every class. You catch lyrics in the margins and at the bottom of some pages, but he’s cagey about that in a strange way, just says you’ll have to come to a gig to find out what they’re about. So you do.
Gigs become a regular for you, and you start to become friends with the girls who frequent the shows, often hosting predrinks in your dorm room for Mary and her friends on a Friday night. You learn on one of those nights that at least two of the girls have hooked up with him, and there’s a strange, sinking sensation in your chest. You’re not sad, or at least, you tell yourself you shouldn’t be. You and Roger are just friends, it’s not like there’s anything going on there, sure, sometimes after a really good show he’ll give you a pash, but it’s- that’s just him.
It’s not like you’ve never thought about it, but you also know his reputation, and that it’ll do more harm than good to get involved with that. He’s the one mistake you don’t think you want to make.
It’s Summer, a few years later, when they trade in the van to get money to hire the recording studio. Roger had really loved that van, and he lay on your sofa for a solid hour grumbling about it, about how Freddie had some kind of nerve. You roll your eyes at him, call him a drama queen, which he takes offence to, but moves obligingly when you sit down, letting him rest his head in your lap.
When you raise the point that it might be worth it, he looks frankly aghast, griping about how he has to catch lifts everywhere now. He calms down somewhat when you start carding your fingers through his hair, though he still pouts.
“If it comes to it, I’ll buy you a car, you baby.” You snort, despite the fact that you’re currently barely making a living wage on some retail job, it’s not where you’d thought you’d be after university, but sometimes that’s just how it is. He looks up at you, and when you look down at him, he’s looking very intense. Perhaps he might say something poignant about your offer, you think, but instead he reaches up and pokes your nose.
“I can see up your nostrils.” He tells you, and you smack his hand away, scowling. You stand abruptly, ignoring his complaints, smoothing your pants out against your thighs.
“Come on,” you offer your hand, which he regards with both confusion and a bit of disdain, “you can’t mope around my apartment and complain about the band again. We’re going out.” That gets his interest.
You’ve been to bars with him before, and usually you go home alone while he gets the pick of the prettiest girls of the night, or he decides to wingman you, which hurts your heart a little, but you won’t decline. You were attractive in your own right, you won’t deny that, you didn’t technically need his help, but a selfish part of you likes the way the attention to you, even if it’s to help you get with other people.
Tonight is different, tonight he doesn’t leave your side, he slings an arm around you as the two of you stand by the bar watching the truly mediocre band they had on that night.
“You know why they aren’t recording an album?” You ask as the set ends.
“Because they didn’t sell their van?” Roger mused, vaguely bitter, but not melancholy as he swirled the last of his drink in his free hand.
“No, it’s because they’re terrible.” Turning, you smile at your own blunt remark, and when he looks back at you, he’s grinning with a little disbelief. There’s very little space between the two of you, but that doesn’t make your heart race anymore, he’s your best friend, close contact was part of the bargain. But he kissed you, quickly, without warning, and when he pulls back, he turns away to order another drink like nothing had happened.
Your mind is spiralling, this isn’t post-gig excitement, this wasn’t something you were expecting. The selfish creature in your chest that you tried to deny for so long was crowing with victory. Taking a quick look around the bar, you don’t recognise anyone, though there are a few girls who look like they’d be his type- but his hand is moving to wrap around your waist as he turns back.
“What was that?” Voice quiet, you take his drink and have a sip of it yourself, the movement done from muscle memory alone. He raises his eyebrows at you, not regarding the drink, that was a usual occurrence, but at the question. He doesn’t seem to know how to answer, baffled at the question. Dropping you gaze, you take a sip of your own drink. “Why me? Why tonight?” You asked. Looking incredulous, he stepped back, looking you over.
“Have you seen yourself tonight, love? Couldn’t help myself.” You’ve heard him talk like this before, to other girls, not as blunt, but with you he can get away with it. The creature in your chest is elated, and you find yourself smiling, actually blushing. He moves closer once more, his arm around you, voice low as he spoke into your ear. “Trust me, you look very fit tonight, any man would be lucky to have a crack at you.” Heart in your throat, you hope you’re reading the situation right, at the same time ignoring the part of you that knew this was a bad idea.
“Even you?” You turned to face him, watching the way his smile shifted to a smirk, and he pulled you a little closer.
“You know I’m always feeling lucky.”
You kiss him, feeling your blood thumping in your veins, selfish and excited in equal measure, but with his hands on you, you can’t find the focus to care about the former.
Once the bad starts up again, Roger pulls away, making a face at them, asking if you wanted to get out of there. You do, and the two of you are elated on the quick walk back to his apartment, stopping only when he pressed you up against the wall of an closed shop to suck a hickey into the skin of your neck. You catch sight of it in his bedroom mirror, but he’s pulling off your jacket and you have better things to worry about.
It’s not weird, like you thought it would be, when you wake the next morning and he’s curled up, fast asleep with his back to you, but your chest aches just a little. He avoids eye contact over breakfast, though you chat like normal. The gripes about his van have died down, though he makes an offhand comment about things are changing that you read enough into to realise what had happened.
“You’ll always have me, Rog.” You reach across the table to take his hand, and he finally looks you in the eye, he looks so relieved, not that he’d ever say it. Afraid of losing another thing he cared about, he had panicked last night and tried to keep you close in the only way he knew how. He certainly loved you, but not in the way you wanted him to. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, you give him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. It’s not his fault.
Bohemian Rhapsody airs in Autumn, you’re regional manager now, and you’re sitting in your office when you hear for the first time; you almost scream when the first harmony comes in after the radio host introduces the song.
“You’re a star, Rog!” You gush over the phone on your break, unable to wait until that night when the band was having a celebratory get-together to talk to him.
“Of course, I am, you think I sing that high to be paid in peanuts?” You can hear the smile in his words without even seeing him, and being able to hear his voice warms your heart.
“That was you?” You laugh, the ‘Galileo's playing back in your head, and you try to picture him singing it, which only made you laugh harder.
“Oi,” he bristled, indignant at your laughter, “I’m the only one with the range to execute Freddie’s vision.” You could see him in your mind now, proud and stubborn, standing tall to defend the decision.
“I’m proud of you.” Suddenly sincere, you find your smile turning to something more genuine as you think back on far he’s come.
“Thank you.” His own voice has become less animated, more sincere, though you can still hear him smiling.
“Love you, Rog.” You tell him, just as you always did when you parted ways.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
He’s grinning, draped with casual confidence in an armchair in Freddie’s living room when you arrive, and you feel like you’ve been taken back five years, the casual enthusiasm he’s exerting. Smile brightening, he stands when he sees you, striding across the room to enfold you in a hug.
“Good to see you!” He practically beams at you, holding your shoulders as he looks over you, as if assessing you, seeing if anything has changed.
“Of course, you’ve been holed up for weeks, I wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Though he’s in front of you, you’re words address the room as a whole, and when he steps back, Brian moves in to hug you as well, asking how you’ve been.
The boys are your friends, all of them, you’ve been around for most of their big band moments, and it eases something in your chest to be here for this one too. But then the ease sharply tightens as a woman you’ve never seen before sits on the arm of Roger’s chair, and he rests a hand on her thigh, smiling up at her.
Mary follows your gaze, and her smile is sad as she pulls you down to sit beside her, asking you about your thoughts on the single. You answer, though your heart’s not in it, and the selfish creature in your chest rears it’s ugly head after such a long slumber.
The monster has shifted, changed and grown, it hadn’t cared about him running around with any pretty girl he could find for the past few years, but this was different. Roger had made it clear that he was far from sacred, but this was the band, this was Freddie’s home, this was the place of some of your happiest memories; this was yours.
You stay well into the early hours of the following morning, despite the interloper, but Roger still stopped you at the door.
“I’m really glad you could make it, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” He’s smiling at you, but you don’t smile back. It’s been a long night of being kind and pretending that you’re heart didn’t hurt.
“Well, you’ve very busy.” You shrug, punctuating it with a yawn. His expression turns confused, and you open the door.
“Y/N.” He tried to get your attention, but you left, throwing a goodbye over your shoulder to him. “Love you.” He calls through the door, but you stay quiet, refuse to say it back, just keep walking. You’re too tired to be upset, but maybe you’ll get there tomorrow.
Things change, and you’ve grown to accept that, but sometimes old aches don’t heal like they should. Or at all.
“I’m getting married.” He calls you at the end of Winter.
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
Your relationship’s been on the mend in the years since the Bohemian Rhapsody launch night. You two smile and laugh like you had when you were younger, and you’ve learned to listen to his exploits and his gripes about women, offering your own about your partners, though they’re few and far between. He’s still your best friend, and you learn to act like it.
“Congratulations.” Your voice is flat. It had been a shock, you’d heard about his latest on-again off-again girlfriend, and had even offered advice in certain situations, actual advice, no malice at all.
“Thanks.” He doesn’t seem to know where to go from here, and silence stretches out between the two of you.
“I should go.” You finally murmur.
“What? Why?” He spluttered, and you sighed deeply.
“Was there something else you wanted to talk about?” You asked, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead against the wall.
“I- no, but I want you to be there.” He paused. “And I wanted to be the one to tell you.” Clenching your jaw, you make a snap decision.
“I can’t-”
“Why not?” He actually sounded angry, which was perhaps warranted, though your next words shut him up.
“Because it hurts, Roger.” After a beat, your voice is quiet. “Because I love you.” Taking a breath, you let yourself relax. “I want you to be happy, but I can’t watch you marry someone else.” There’s silence for a very long moment, but you hang up before he can respond. You take the phone off the hook. You need to be alone, just for now.
“After everything, you still-?” It’s the first day of Spring, and he’s on your doorstep, seemingly unable to say the word love. You’re wearing your pyjamas and he looks like he’s just walked out of a Rolling Stone cover shoot, though he just sort of looks like that now, you supposed.
“Don’t worry about it.” You try not to betray how much his visit shocked you, or the way his very presence after your recent conversation hurt you.
“You’re my best friend! Of course I’m gonna worry about it!” He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. Sighing deeply, he stepped forward. “I thought I fucked everything up when we hooked up, I’m sorry, I panicked.” He was looking at his fidgeting hands, rather than your surprised expression. “And then... I thought I fucked it up again when I chose the band over you.”
“You never-” You tried to protest, but he smiled self-deprecatingly.
“No, I did. I loved you, and I thought that would get in the way of the band.” Clenching his jaw, he looked up and you could see the regret in his eyes. “It was easier to fuck around that tell you I love you.” Your breath stopped in your throat as he finally walked closer. “And I thought after everything, that you deserved better; you know what I’m like, why would you-?” But you cut him off with a kiss.
“You’ll always have me.” You murmured, finally letting yourself smile. Nothing about it felt selfish, in fact, it felt as though the sun was finally shining on you, warming you from the inside out.
“I know,” he agreed quietly, wrapping you up in a hug.
#roger taylor#roger taylor imagine#roger taylor x reader#borhap#queen#bohemian rhapsody#queen imagine#ben hardy#ben hardy imagine#bo rhap#the angry lizard writes
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I love hearing about you delinquent au! Can’t wait to read it
How about a sneak peek, Anon? (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧
Lavi shoved his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt. The late September days were still warm, but nights turned surprising cold. He wished he’d brought his favorite scarf as he stood next to the raffle table. Excited shouting came from the packed bleachers, and he looked up just in time to see a few players celebrating in the endzone. He sighed, sitting next to Lenalee in one of the empty folding chairs behind the table. “I should’ve listened to Yuu. This is kinda boring.”
“That’s why I bribed you with food.” Lenalee smiled and greeted another group who stopped at the table. After taking their money and handing them tickets, she turned back to Lavi. “It’s been almost two hours and I am ready to leave.”
“Where is your partner, anyway?” Lavi asked, peeking into the bucket with the ticket stubs.
“Please do not call him that,” Lenalee said, rubbing her temple under the dark purple knit hat she had worn for the night. Her hair was plaited into two pigtail that hung over each shoulder. “He went to get another roll of tickets from the supply closet. We’re almost out.”
With a chuckle, Lavi leaned back in the chair, the metal scraping against the cement sidewalk underfoot. The table was set up near the entrance, close to the ticket booth—specifically placed so no one could miss it as they entered the field. “What is the raffle even for?”
“I thought you could read?” Lenalee teased, pointing the the sign on the table. “We’re giving away a mini fridge. One of the student’s parents donated it.” As another group of students passed the table, Lenalee smiled and waved.
Lavi’s good eye widened in surprise. “That’s actually not an awful prize.” He leaned forward peering at the sign. “Maybe I should buy a ticket…”
“Five bucks gets you one ticket, twenty gets you five,” Lenalee recited, as she had been all night.
Lavi winced at the prices. “Too rich for my blood.”
“Suit yourself.”
“Speaking of rich, I could go for some of that overpriced food you promised me.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Lenalee, grinning wide.
“And here I was hoping you’d forget.” She shook her head before something caught her eye. “You’re in luck. Link’s back.”
Lavi looked up and spotted the Lenalee’s number two, as it were. The vice president of the student council looked more the part than Lenalee did, and that was an accomplishment. Link’s blond hair was plaited tight and neat, the long braid swinging as he strode towards the table. He looked completely out of place in his dress shirt and sweater combo, especially as he passed another group of students decked out in sweatshirts and jeans. His khakis looked stiffer than his personality.
“This is the last of the tickets,” Link announced, setting the bright red roll to the side. He looked at Lavi, who had stolen his seat, disapproval in his russet eyes.
“That’s fine—there’s barely an hour left in the game and sales have slowed a bit.” Lenalee stood, straightening out her light coat and grabbing her purse from under her chair. “I’m going to take a break. I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
“Fine,” Link replied, taking back his seat as soon as Lavi had vacated it. “Don’t linger. The table really should have two people working it at all times.”
Lena smiled as she bit back a comment. “Of course.” She grabbed Lavi by the elbow and dragged him off towards the bleachers. As soon as they were out of earshot, she sighed, the noise sounding more angry than any breath had the right to be. “He sure has some nerve saying that after he left me there for nearly thirty minutes.”
Lavi didn’t fight her pull, stumbling along next to her as they headed up the steps. “He should really see a doctor about that stick lodged up his ass.”
She managed a quick laugh, her fake smile turning into a genuine one. “If only it wasn’t permanently stuck.” She spotted Kanda and Alma at the top of the bleachers huddled close to each other. When Alma spotted them, they waved, grinning widely.
“You managed to escape!” they said, making room for Lavi and Lenalee on the bench.
“I told Link I would be gone for ten minutes, but I’ll stretch that to thirty.” Lena wrapped her arm around Alma as she sat down, sitting as close as she could to keep warm. “Lavi and I are going to the concession stand. Did you two want anything?”
“Yes. I want to leave,” Kanda grumbled, tucking his chin into the folds of his jacket.
Alma rolled their eyes. “Don’t listen to him. We’re having fun.” They rested their head against Kanda’s shoulder, pink painted lips stretching wide over their face. “Something warm would be nice. It’s colder than I thought it would be tonight.”
“I think we can manage that.” She nudged Lavi, elbowing him in the side. “Ready to get some sub-par, overpriced food?”
“Always.”
They walked back down the metal bleachers, avoiding the crowded walkway and headed to the nearby concession stand. As they stood in line, Lavi checked the menu tacked on the wall next to the small order window and balked at the prices. “Yeesh. Are you sure you can buy stuff for everyone? This is more expensive than I thought.”
She pulled her wallet from her purse and held it up as if she was brandishing a sword. “Komui gave me his credit card for tonight, so we’re living large on chili cheese fries and king sized nachos.”
Lavi grinned, rubbing his hands together as he studied the menu board again. “Now that’s what I like to hear.”
When they reached the order window, Lenalee listed off their choices—hotdogs, chili cheese fries, nachos, and a hot chocolate for each of them. By the time their order was ready, they had their arms full as they precariously balanced each item. Lavi winced as he juggled four hot chocolates in his hands.
“This is the definition of hubris, isn’t it?” he asked, carefully following Lenalee back up the bleachers. Every step was a challenge to keep the chocolate in the too-thin paper cups and off his fingers.
“Don’t talk. You’ll lose your concentration and spill,” Lenalee replied, carefully balancing all of the food in her hands. Her stacking technique was impressive, and Lavi would have congratulated her if he didn’t have to worry about spilling hot cocoa all over himself.
When Alma noticed their burdened states, they hurried down to help with the final leg of the journey. “Ah, careful!” they said, taking two of the cups from Lavi’s hands before heading back up the stairs.
“Why did we pick the highest seats on the bleachers again?” Lavi asked, setting the last two cups on the bench to help Lena distribute the food.
“Because Yuu doesn’t like people sitting behind him,” Alma reminded them, grabbing one of the hotdogs and settling in next to Kanda again.
“So, it’s my fault?” Kanda asked, frowning as he grabbed his hot chocolate from Lenalee and sipped it angrily.
“Hush and eat your nachos,” Lenalee said, pushing the flimsy paper container into his hands. Once the food had been distributed, she sat down, only to sigh again. “I forgot napkins.”
“I’ll get them,” Lavi said, setting his food down on the cool bench and heading down the bleacher stairs. He heard Lenalee’s faint call of ‘thank you’ mixed in with a sudden cheer from the crowd. He looked up at the field again, having missed whatever play had happened to cause the ruckus. He hopped down off the last couple of steps and turned to walk towards the concession stand when something under the bleachers caught his eye.
Just under the bleachers was Allen, reaching into the back pocket of someone’s pants. Lavi watched as Allen slipped their wallet out with ease, pocketing the cash inside, and then returning it as if nothing had happened. He did it again and again, systematically grabbing any wallet or purse within reach and cleaning the money from the billfolds. Lavi stared in awe, watching Allen’s swift, nimble fingers steal hundreds of dollars in cash from the unsuspecting parents watching the football game. That same feeling bubbled up in Lavi’s stomach—the one he’d felt when he’d witnessed Allen pinching those candy bars from the convenience store weeks ago. Nervousness mixed with admiration, and a healthy dose of concern. Lavi had never stolen anything in his life, but watching Allen do it almost felt as if he was an accomplice—too dumbstruck to say anything or try to stop the crime in progress.
As Allen pocketed the last of the cash, he looked up and met Lavi’s frozen gaze. He stiffened for a brief moment before that same smug smile pulled at the corners of his lips. Lavi felt his heart rattle against his chest, cheeks flushed against the cold breeze blowing against them. He didn’t know what to do, and as much as he wanted to run away and forget what he’d seen, his feet were glued to ground, like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming semi.
Then, before Lavi could move or say anything, Allen approached him.
Lavi swallowed, throat tight as he watched Allen close the distance between them. He was wearing that same oversized sweatshirt Lavi had first seen him in, and a black knit stocking cap to hide his shock white hair. Lavi didn’t doubt he’d come to the game for this exact reason—to steal from the crowd. And from what Lavi had seen, it was easy pickings.
Allen stopped just in front of Lavi, looking up at the redhead with a calm smile. He reached up and pressed a finger to Lavi’s lips, his skin cold and chapped from the wind. “This is our little secret, right?”
“I, uh—” Lavi began, lips moving against Allen’s finger. With his stomach tied in knots, Lavi nodded, his heart flipping in his chest and nearly jumping right out of his mouth. “Sure.”
Allen pulled his finger back, his smile softening. He tilted his head, looking Lavi up and down, as if he was assessing something—though the redhead wasn’t sure what. “You’re Lavi, right?”
“Y-Yeah.”
“Thanks.” He winked, brushing past Lavi and merging into a large group of students heading towards the exit. “See you later.”
As Allen disappeared into the crowd, Lavi’s heart continued to beat like a drum in his ribcage. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.
What the fuck was that about?
#dgm#dgrayman#lavi#allen walker#lenalee lee#kanda yuu#alma karma#kitty bandit writes fanfiction#Delinquent AU#personal#reply#anon
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