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#dont know if i have it i just know that i procrastinate a lot and i dont know if i am just scared about life or just lazy lmao
yuanwang · 5 months
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:O !!!!
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calamitydaze · 15 days
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
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#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
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criticaaaaaaaal · 1 year
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#see my blog was never intended to be . like . seen by people? thats why its so gross#i tag Nothing. i only tag what i want to tag. i still have the mindset of what i used to be *checks watch* 9 months ago? i think?#i had under 100 followers most if not all being friends and mutuals#and then i made the mistake of posting art. sigh#this still carries over to the fact id Like to move blogs because this ones gotten. way too big#lesson learned for anyone on tumglblr: if you post anything like art or fanfic MAKE IT A SIDE BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!#do NOT do what i did. not the main blog. mistake#i used to make sideblogs everytime i got a new main interest but when i got into toh i stopped. idk why. but im stuck here now#if i DO move blogs i'll post about it. it'll prob be a quieter move but yeah it'll happen#im just procrastinating cus all my junk is already HERE#so like. why move. yknow?#i do genuinely love & appreciate the support. people have been very kind to me#i appreciate it a lot#i also just know from experience i am not someone that should have any sort of following on anything. i take it horribly#like. i used to be an active twitter artist for a year and that was HORRIBLE. ppl didnt just want art they wanted my opinions and my biases#i couldnt breath without 5 people asking me things#horrible life to live lol i like tumblr more#i started on tumblr and i moved back. im glad#anywhoo enough rambling i guess. if i move ill let people know! if i dont. well youll know cus im still here#ugh if i move i have to reblock my tags n people blaaaaugh#okey ill talk to you people later
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sundial-girl · 7 months
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would hiki be a friends with the crows person or a friends with the crabs person
more inclined to say the crows b/c aside from a sense of bird favoritism, i feel like its easier for him to actually encounter crows?? like crabs live near the sea man (and/or some large bodies of freshwater ig but lets ignore that for these purposes)... when/where is lil ghost boy gonna pull up to the ocean 😭😭😭
given crows' intelligence now you're just giving me the mental image of him trying (and failing) to convert crows to religion and ahkhskjhakjhskjghkjh 😂😂😭😭😭
#ask#i would draw this but I CANT RN 🤬🤬😭😭😭 curse having to work on hw (yes im procrastinating but sh.)#(i dont have my drawing tablet is the point. i could do it on my phone sure but i dont like drawing on there :'))#isnt there something in the bible about eating seafood? i might be thinking of other dietary restrictions (sorry idk much abt religions)#not that im saying hiki would like. scoop up the crabs and eat them raw but hakjhskjg 😭😭😭 i looked up 'do crabs go to heaven' for this#IF THEYRE HIS FRIENDS HE WOULDNT EAT THEM I DONT THINK?? anyways ignoring that#a lot of this i feel depends on like. personal interpretations and ideas whatever. like if your hiki is actually alive (which he is iirc)#or not. i remember hearing something about ghosts and not being able to cross water but that could b wrong. and again i usually have him as#a ghost or smthn. you could also argue even w/ the crows then too some people say animals are affected by paranormal activity so?#the crows could also potentially sense something and not like it. but idk. i cant think of any particular religious connotation w/ crows#other birds yes but i dont know abt crows. i personally tho fucking love corvids so i think he should b friends w/ them yes#(sorry is my bird favoritism thinly veiled? 😭 IM SORRY i swear i like sea creatures too but like. birds is easier to access)#i do have some potential ocean-related hiki ideas but thats also leaning more towards some personal hcs so? yuh.#ok tldr; i think crows fits him aesthetically better but i feel he could be friends w/ both. just depends on a lot of other things#vocaloid#utau
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wizardfvcker · 2 years
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theres like two different disco elysium fics i have open and have not read that deal with harry and dora seeing each other again post-canon when harry is doing much better and the only reason i haven’t looked at them is that thinking about it makes me have to get up and do a lap around the room. just the Vibes of it all
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ev-moved · 11 months
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my panel is gonna be ass but its ok bc no one is gonna show up bc they gave me a godawful time slot 
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ittybittybumblebee · 2 years
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I want to see more content with my ocs and i want to do some stuff for my ocs story
...but i have to make it...
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in-peryl · 1 year
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so yesterday i got to the anxiety point of shutting down and completely avoiding my problem (finishing the paper i need to send to my boss asap) and i honestly think its bc i dont want him to read it and know that im stupid bc i already dont think he has a high opinion of me
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hotdogmchiggin · 2 years
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Woe, sketch dump be upon ye.
Working in pen is fun but then I run into the problem where i key in details too quickly and find out that the proportions are wrong or the face looks weird so then i leave fun little notes for myself to fix in photoshop later if I plan on rendering out the sketch. Overall really like these sketches though.
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arolesbianism · 2 months
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Y'know I should rly do a comb through of the wiki and correct any mistakes in the logs cause even if I'm too lazy to add all the ones not there it would make double checking the ones that are on there much easier
#rat rambles#oni posting#I know there's at least one that uses an outdated version of the log that was likely a mistake in the first place but there's probably more#a lot of logs have been tweaked and changed over time and if one slipped through the cracks others probably did too#especially since theres already been mistakes in the gravitas page along with outdated duplicant art (aka ellie)#I cant be assed to update everything but I do wanna at least correct the stuff that caused me some confusion at first#I might also do some tweaks to the gravitas employee section to better describe some of their positions#I should probably add some other ppl at some point but that can wait#mostly because a lot of them would require the logs that arent on the wiki to be added and Im not doing that (at least not rn)#I still do want to make my own lore database but Ive been procrastinating mostly because Im not sure where to put all that info#Ill probably just dump it into a google doc for the time being and maybe find a fancier way to present it if enough ppl are interested#which basically means itll probably remain a doc unless more ppl get interested oni lore because currently its pretty much just me and like#what 2 or 3 other ppl#rly my main issue rn is deciding what should be included or not#ofc all of the data files you can find will be included along with story trait logs#but things get kinda fuzzy once we get to the artifact descriptions cause some of them definitely are lore relevant and some of them aren't#like it doesnt rly feel necessary to include some of them but if I dont include some then I have to establish standards#but if I do include them then it means Itd likely be in my best interest to include other item descriptions too#and even if I didn't theres some that legitimately are rly good to read for lore and/or character implications#and then theres also the fact that I should probably also include other stuff™#such as examination quotes and duplicant descriptions along with maybe scrapped logs#yknow rly go the extra mile#but this of course all has to balance not going too deep into proper gameplay cause otherwise Im just making a new wiki#and while Id love for oni to have a non fandom wiki Im not going to be the guy who makes it sorry#I do not know this game nearly well enough on a gameplay level to do that and even if I did I quite frankly wouldn't want to#its already going to be hell for me just to retype all the lore stuff I do not have the motivation for this shit#I would also like to put in info on how to find different logs but I well. don't know.#Id have to find some way to remove all of my logs so I can go recollect them and Im not tec savvy enough to do that#idk maybe there's a mod for it Ill have to go look#because I rly would like to know how unlocking logs works on a deeper level
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technicolorxsn · 4 months
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I should start doing daily figure drawing again...
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assignment is due later than i thought it was, epic moment
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lululandd · 10 months
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problem;
pairing: simon ‘ghost’ riley x f!reader
word count: 712
warnings: self-doubt, anxiety, insecurity, eventual fluff
note: i really dont wanna paint könig, im mad procrastinating
summary: the unspoken ‘with me’  hangs in the air.
 “You packed.”
His curt tone made you flinch as you gingerly put groceries in the fridge. You tried as best you could to not look his way, hoping Simon would let the matter go. You had broken your leg and fractured your wrist in the most uncool way possible, slipping on ice. He had warned you beforehand, knowing how frail normal human bodies could be. Unlike his apparently, sometimes you wonder if he sees himself as indestructible just because he’s 6 '3.
His hand came to view and you froze, shoulders curling into yourself as you tried to subtly move away from him. Sensing your tense demeanour, he slowed his motions and gently grabbed the fruit from your hand, put it inside the fridge himself, and leaned on the counter. Not daring to look him in the face, you decided to try and continue packing your groceries. 
Sighing, he dragged your chair away from the fridge and closed it.
“You’re going to your parents?” his voice was barely above a whisper, but it scared you so bad he might have as well have shouted. “What’s wrong with staying here?”
You were on the verge of tears, not knowing why. Simon’s always busy with work, he barely comes home, and the one time he had a three month long break from it you stupidly slipped on some ice. He has to take care of you, instead of having fun and going somewhere or doing whatever he wants on his time off.
Stupid.
Useless.
“I just didn’t want to bother you with broken leg and hand stuff. My parents' place is closer to the doctor’s office and the physical therapy place anyway.”
He visibly tensed and you know you fucked up. 
“Physical therapy is after you’re fully healed.” he remarked, you saw a flicker of indignation in his eyes, “Are you planning to stay there the whole time I’m here? Every time I go to work you complain that I’m never home and the one time I come home for longer than a week you do this.”
You stared at him wide-eyed, a muted gasp twists your face. “It was an accident, Simon! You say that like I fell on purpose or something!” You say in a raised voice, appalled at his words.
He presses both palms on his eyes, “No, that’s not what I meant at all.” He squatted next to you–you never knew men that big could do that–and placed a large hand on your thigh. “By ‘this’ I meant going to your parents. I will be here for three months, and you want to stay with your parents for however long it will be. What’s wrong with being here?”
The unspoken ‘with me’  hangs in the air.
“Oh.” A wave of embarrassment flowed through your veins, you had thought of the worst of him when all he wanted was to spend time with you. With uninjured you, preferably. “Sorry.”
“You’re still not answering any of my questions, love.”
Weighing your words, you realised you can’t weasel your way out of telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. 
“I don’t want to bother you, Simon.”
“Bother?” He breathes.
A shiver of apprehension travelled up your spine at the way he spoke. You’ve heard that tone before, but never directed towards you; it was always towards people bothering you two. Does that mean he sees you as a bother right now?
“You don’t have a lot of time off, and I don’t want you to waste it… here.. taking care of me while I can’t do jack shit. You have to carry me up and down the stairs, you have to carry me to and from the car when we go outside,” you gestured with your good hand, “you have to go with me to the doctors and my physical therapy, you have to do most of the cooking and cleaning, and you have to sit down and listen to me bitch about this broken leg from 1am to 4am.”
He stood up and cupped the back of your neck, his thumb slowly drawing soothing circles as he kissed the top of your head.
“You’re listing things I already want to do, with or without your broken leg.”
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horangboosadan · 10 months
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DOMINO | MASTERLIST
synopsis:  A literature student with a procrastination problem and a dancing major who always says yes makes for an interesting combo of neither getting things done. It doesn’t help that there’s a best friend in the mix certain that the two will fall in love and makes sure they spend time together, only the two of them. 
Somehow, every deadline is still met. Even the amount of time expected before the start of a developing crush.
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pairing: Kwon Soonyoung x gender neutral!reader (they/them pronouns)
genre: romance, fluff, smau
warnings: swearing, drinking, implied 18+ content
status: completed
started: 29.06.2023
complete: 29.10.2023
main masterlist
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boo talks
finally posting this. on hoshis birthday because why not when it’s about him. i’ve been working on this since late november i think and it’s taken a lot of time and been through a lot of revisions, but it’s finally close to done and i cannot wait to share it with people. i hope you guys like this as much as i do. 
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profiles: no one asked, someone’s got a bad idea 
chapters:
001: impromptu tuesday movie night
002: i would like to report a crime
003: sometimes i wish
004: putting my trust in you
005: *slave / im not paying you
006: i didnt know i was presumed dead
007: im friendship material
008: sounds like something a furry would say
009: it was a friend date
010: shingibanggi bbongbbongbanggi?
011: i hope the rain is acid
012: you have a powerpoint?
013: freaking out because your favorite artist liked the cookies
014: mostly just highly unexpected
015: creepy guy?
016: you did something embarrassing
017: more torture earlier in the day?
018: loophole
019: the bad kind of embarrassing
020: ARE YOU STALKING ME?
021: the likelihood of having had a crush on other friends
022: the chicken or the egg?
023: ghosts can’t read tweets, right?
024: a prank isn’t fun if you let people off easy
025: panicking as some unexpected people showed up
026: you give the impression you’d be impatient
027: would be a lot easier if he wasnt so cute
028: that show you how much you suck
029: you have to watch barbie with me
030: such stupid ass information
031: the type of singing enjoyed when everyones drunk and wants a laugh
032: thats why i ran to the bathroom to text you
033: no nudgning allowed
034: EMERGENCY EMERGENCY EMERGENCY
035: i thought maybe they would notice
036: i get all giddy inside and dont know what to do
037: i live on the 4th floor / i can climb
epilogue: its horanghae
BONUS
FALLING FOR YOU | YOON JEONGHAN ↳ related to tweet in 029. takes place around 037
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tinykonig · 1 year
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Ghost x reader headcannons
im so glad you guys are enjoying these??? i love making them and its helping me procrastinate finals :) as always these are written for afab, and sometimes include references feminine terms. if you like how i write for ghost, send me a lil request and i might turn it into something :)
NSFW indicated in post 🤍
Genuinely it takes fucking forever for Ghost to admit having feelings for you. He is in denial for soooo long
What finally makes him crack is getting critically injured on a mission and all he can think about is how he should have told you
He resolves to tell you once he comes to in the hospital. He figures it would be stupid to waste any more time
You come to see him and you think he doesn’t want you there because he can’t make eye contact with you and that’s rare for him
You just kind of awkwardly apologize for coming and turn to leave and he just barks out “Wait.”
When Ghost is getting something off his chest he gets it all out. So he’s just very bluntly telling you that you were all he could think about when he thought he was going to die and he doesn’t see the point in hiding how he feels any longer
At the end of his speech he looks at you and you are getting a little emotional and this motherfucker has the audacity to be like, “… why are you crying?”
Like you just spilled your heart out to me give me a break!!!
His entire body relaxes when you tell him you feel the same way. He didn’t even realize how tense he had been
You don’t leave his side until he’s recovered and able to fully function back to normal
He doesn’t say thank you with his words but rather his actions. His eyes tell you everything anyways
Sometimes he will glance around him to make sure no one else is watching and then just lift you into the most earth shatteringly wonderful hug
Puts you down after a few seconds and returns to whatever he was doing without a word. You grew used to this eventually
So protective. Like wont even let you walk on the side of the sidewalk thats closer to the road. Puts himself between you and any dangers
You will be his passenger princess. There is no way he lets you drive sorry thats his job, he looks damn good doing it so you dont mind
(holds your hand over the center console)
Big on acts of service. Does little domestic things for you like folds your laundry while you take a nap and offers to cook dinner every other day
Stares at you when you sleep. He thinks you look so angelic and peaceful and it makes him feel all warm inside but he’s definitely scared the shit out of you a few times
Not a fan of going out a lot. He’s a homebody when he’s not in the field
The best listener!!! He will offer advice when you ask for it or will just lend you sympathy when you don’t want advice
He does have his moments where he needs his space, and if you try to push him he can get mean
After he’s recharged and feeling back to normal he is touch. starved.
Likes to spoon, likes to watch movies with you in between his legs and laying on his chest, likes standing behind you while you are doing anything and just holding your hips
He always buries his face in your neck and just breathes deep. Could drown in your scent and be happy
It takes him awhile to remove his mask freely around you because its a feeling of vulnerability that just gnaws at him
He warms up to it over time and you see his face more and more often. Loves that you act the same either way
He has dimples (fist fight me if you disagree)
He can grow a killer beard, but trims it based on your preference because he doesn’t care either way
Very thoughtful with gifts and always remembers your birthday (sometimes forgets his own)
Knows your order for every restaurant and will make sure its correct and if its not he IS letting them know. How dare they
Literally mocks whatever accent you have constantly. Playfully but he’s brutal
If you are being stubborn he is not against just picking you up and slinging you across his shoulder
Sleeps like a rock this one
Likes to watch sports on tv and catches himself cheering his team on and then gets embarrassed (its so fucking cute)
If his mask is off and he sees any exposed part of your skin- he’s biting
And then going about his business like he didn’t just bite you???? So weird
NSFW BELOW THIS POINT
The biting happens in the bedroom too, specifically when he cums. Your neck will have teeth marks
Switch, switch, switch
His bedroom eyes are soo severe , he just gives you a single half lidded stare and your clothes are coming off
He loves to degrade you, he doesn’t talk a lot but when he does he is telling you how pathetic you look crying on his cock
Loves to be degraded too :) Whines if you call him pussy drunk (because he is)
A little rough but king of aftercare
Loves watching you come undone on his fingers. Has a thing for wearing his gloves when he fingers you
OVERSTIMULATION thats all
Against the wall is a specialty of Simons
Grunts a lot, growls sometimes when he is close
You go down on him and he sometimes lets go and moans
Always returns the favor
Doesn’t do quickies or risky places
Will do about anything else
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eternalmarvel · 5 months
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MK1 - BI HAN X READER ~ REUNION ~
an: ok hi guys lowkey i havent written fanfiction in years so this is my brief return. so feral for bi-han bro got me writing again
anyways please enjoy this story that i cooked up at work instead of doing what i get paid to do 🔥i got really sloppy at the end because this fic ended up being MUCHH longer than what i intended and i lowkey lose the plot bc it was supposed to be much more different
also if you guys have requests send them in i might do them i might not so dont expect too much
ps+ i'm not chinese so if i mischaracterized something pls let me know!! i'm the wrong type of asian to be writing this lmfao
--
you returned to the lin kuei outpost hoisted on the shoulders of the neighboring rocky mountains. it was a heavy winter yet, but a meager layer of snow had curtained everything all the same. your breath was heavy as you sighed and looked at the exterior of the stronghold, smoke spilling from your mouth. it had been years since you had been back here, practicing with the lin kuei as only a young woman. you were never an initiate, but your father was a powerful man who had been good friends with the former grandmaster of the lin kuei and wanted to assist them by having you help them out. after a couple of months of training and bonding with all the other lin kuei initiates (as well as the grandmaster's sons), you had left to pursue your responsibilities. you had been burdened with far too many tasks to just remain in one place -- it pained you but you knew you had to leave to do what was required of you. not one for goodbyes (and the fact that if you had to confront the brothers about your departure, you probably would've ended up staying...), you disappeared into the midst of the dark night.
after all with great power comes......
the gates to the stronghold opened and you entered inside. it was difficult being back. how would you approach the brothers? would they still be upset at you for leaving? surely not, considering they let you back in. but what if this is a trap, a ploy to set up a mediation to get you to explain where you were all these years? thousands of thoughts swirled inside your mind but it didn't matter now. you were inside the courtyard now, watching as initiates sparred and practiced with one another. you could begin to feel the influx of raw magical energy as you walked by, prompting you to take a deep breath in and walk with your head held higher. you opened the gates to the interior to see tomas and kuai liang speaking with some of the younger initiates. kuai had his hands crossed behind his back, his eyes stern as ever as he commanded some of the younger warriors to try out a new training exercise. tomas had a small smile on his face, his arms crossed in front of his chest. they didn't notice your arrival and so you quietly walked up to them, with hands behind your back and a shy smile across your face.
tomas was the first to notice you, and his face immediately burst into a smile. "(name)!" he yelled out, excited like a puppy being adopted by an owner for the first time ever. you were originally going to keep this visit somber, but you couldn't help to keep the smile off your face. suddenly a huge urge to hug him overcomes you, and you spread your arms around the nape of his neck, pulling him in. he pats your back, exclaiming:
"i didn't realize you were going to be here so soon!"
you pull away from him, giving him a big smile. "sorry it took me so long. had a lot of stuff to get to."  that smile on your face does not betray your intentions. it's the truth--you really did have a lot to get to. procrastinating and putting off the visit for as long as you did, however, was honestly not your intention.
you see kuai glance at you gently, a fond look washing over him as you peak from over tomas' shoulders.
"c'mon, i know you want in on this too," you say playfully as you beckon kuai over. he smiles kindly as he takes you into his arms.
"it's good to see you again, (name). seems that time's been treating you right," he says with his hands on his hips, admiring your character as he gazes at you from up to down. you can't help but blush, and wave away his comment.
"you guys have grown up a lot too! what have they been feeding you guys?!" you playfully ask. the two of them playfully chuckle, as tomas responds with,  "been drinking my 7 glasses of milk everyday!" you give him a confused look as kuai gives him a side-eye. "pretty sure it's meant to be water, tomas. but i'm glad you're so lactose-affluent," you say playfully with a grin.
kuai takes you softly by the arm and introduces you to the other members. "everyone, this is (name). she used to train with us and it's lucky for us she wasn't officially trained as an initiate or she'd be better than all of us." his compliments cause you to blush and roll your eyes, as you give a humble bow.
"where is bi-han?" you ask, reluctantly. kuai's gaze becomes sterner and yet more cautious.  "he's with some students right now. though i uhh....am not sure how receptive he will be to your....visit." you smile. "don't worry for me, kuai. i can handle the boy i used to beat in our spars." "except he's not a boy now. he's grandmaster of the lin kuei." your eyes fall to the ground. of course he was. their father died just a few years ago and now bi-han had inherited one of arcticka's greatest creations. you look back up and tomas and kuai solemnly.
"sorry i could not attend your father's funeral. i only heard about it just recently and even if i knew about it earlier, i didn't know how you guys would feel about me popping up at his service unannounced."
"you're family, (name). you were then, you still are now. nothing's changed but the time passing," he says tenderly as he rests his hand on your shoulder. you give him a smile in return and nod your head.
"thanks for the sentiment, kuai. but....let's see if your big bro shares the same sentiment."  kuai and tomas share an unsettling look as they take a deep breath in. "you're welcome to try and get through to him. don't blame me if he throws an ice pick at your head."
you roll your eyes playfully. "i'm sure i'll be fine, just tell me where he is."
tomas points to the other side of the stronghold, pointing to the large training room decorated with gold and red lanterns. come to think of it, most of the stronghold was painted with evidence of the Chinese New Year's festivities. you hadn't realized that the new year had encircled so quickly. as you made your way to bi-han, you felt your heart flutter. there was no telling how he would react. what if he actually DID throw an ice pick at your head? the nerves bubbled up in your gut as the cold air outside did nothing further to ease your unrest. as you walked to the large room where bi-han was at, your eyes briskly caught a glance at the remnants of more festivities at the stronghold. you smiled softly to yourself.
at least bi-han cared enough about his initiates to host what looked like some vendors/merchants and games at the stronghold for all of them. this gesture was sweet, almost like a father providing for the children he's adopted. just like his own father, though you didn't dare to say this out loud. this thought process however, had managed to calm you down until you got to the very wide doors to the training room. you took a deep breath in before you quietly opened the doors, peering in to a room with many masked initiates sitting on the floor inside gazing up at bi-han as he fervently explained something.
you moved to the back of the room, carefully moving past the other member to get a good look at bi-han, leaning your shoulder against the wall. a few minutes passed as he wrapped up his lesson, finally catching your eye. for a ninja he wasn't much aware of your presence. but he also hadn't felt your presence in years, and you were aware of that. when his eyes met yours, he didn't look surprised like a person gazing upon a long-dead wraith but rather he looked stunned as to how you even got here. there was anger hidden behind his eyes, but at the same time....
"(name)?" it had been years but you still felt the same way when he called out your name. his voice had gotten deeper and he had changed into a grown man. your eyes explored his stature -- he was taller, his muscles were defined, and a different aura now defined him. he was no longer the softer boy you knew him to be, now he was grandmaster of earth's last defence; of course he was going to be a changed man now.
you smiled cheekily, not knowing how to react. truthfully, you didn't know how you got this far.
"hi, bi-han. i hope i didn't distract you when you were busy teaching," you speak coyly, not wanting the other initiates to overhear your WHOLE conversation. he looks down at you, almost like he's debating what to say next. you take a deep gulp and you scrape away at the skin underneath your nails, causing them to bleed. after what seems like a milennia of consideration, he furrows his brows and briskly walks past you.
you nod your head with a soft smile. you understand why he feels this way but to be honest, you're not sure whether you would've preferred this treatment or having an ice pick gone straight to your dome. the other initiates look on carefully, trying not to invoke their grandmaster's anger. before they can do anything else, they follow their grandmaster out the room.
"don't take it to heart. if you were anyone else, he probably would've frozen you solid. i'm surprised he actually went the mature route."
you turn around to see whose voice those sentences belonged to. your eyes fell upon a man wearing a yellow uniform, similar to kuai's uniform but the colours inversed. his hair is tied up almost in a ponytail and restrained by a yellow bandana across his forehead. he's a good-looking man, but an unfamiliar face.
"i'm sorry, i don't recognize you," you say as you furrow your eyebrows piecing together who this man could be.
"cyrax. i haven't seen you before here either. though kuai said that there may be a guest visiting today." he gives you a small smile and stretches out his hand so you can shake it. you give him a warm yet stern handshake. you take his hand and give him a small shake.
"i was hoping for a warmer reception from him honestly. though it was my fault for thinking he might've reacted the same way i might've towards him."
"eh, he's been cranky for the last few days. still, that makes him not snapping on you all the more interesting. are you familiar to him? personally?"
"oh, ha, no," you wave him away embarrassingly, "i used to train here with the brothers. i'm acquainted with them pretty well. just haven't seen them in years, so...."
"ahh. well, good luck with trying to get sub-zero to warm up to you. you're attempting to do the impossible." he replies with a cheeky grin, before bowing to you and leaving the room. you take a deep breath in, unsure of how you were going to get the grandmaster to liven up a little and talk to you. as the day continued, you found yourself wandering the old halls of the stronghold you used to train in. it was night-time now, and you admired the dark glow on all the new year festival decorations. they shone bright as the gold off of them reflected the moon's light. a little upset at not being able to have the reunion you wanted, you walked out to the terrace surrounding the courtyard, looking down at the dimly lit enclosure. no one was out practicing right now, causing you tp scoff to yourself. when you practiced here you went well into the late night and yet none of these new initiates hold the same respect and regard for hardwork as you did. your mind flashes back to your sparring practices with bi-han. when you both were younger, he could hardly touch you you were so fast. your hits were hard and fast, mirroring bi-han's form but you were just that much quicker. he hated admitting it, but you were just a better fighter -- though your elemental magic couldn't hold a light to his cryomancy.
before your mind wandered off to the unknown, you heard footsteps behind you making their way down the corridor. you turned to see bi-han in a dark blue/black hanfu with a few books in his arms. your breath caught in your throat as you gazed upon him. if he saw you, he was doing a great job at pretending he never did. this didn't matter to you, as you quickly hid behind one of the pillars in the terrace. he had his head down, bad idea. as he came closer to you, you waited for the perfect moment to strike before finally revealing yourself. bi-han didn't react at all and if he did, it was out of pure annoyance.
"no. you're not leaving until we speak."
"are we finished?" he says stoically, before attempting to go around you. "that was enough of us speaking."
flabbergasted, you back up quickly and block his path again.
"bi-han." you say, defeated and exhausted. you didn't come all this way to get dejected and leave without getting proper closure. if you had to move on from him, you wanted to at least clear things up with him before getting on with your life.
"did you not leave the last time? i am simply doing to you what you have done to m-us." he replies matter-of-factly.
"i'm here now aren't i? c'mon now, i know you've been dying to talk to me. i wanted to talk to you all this time!" you say coyly, throwing a playful punch at his meaty arm.
he looks a little upset, or at least his eyes and frown betray him if he was going for a stoic look.
"why now? why after all these years. you might as well return to wherever you came from," he replies lowly and yet it shows that he's hurt. your heart warms a little at the fact that you could've had this much of an impact on him. you nod your head slowly and look into the enclosure beneath you.
"i'm sorry bi-han. you know i had to leave soon. it wasn't going to be forever, even if i wanted for it to be so. and i knew......" you look down, a long distance into the ground, "if i told any of you guys i was leaving i probably wouldn't have ended up leaving." the look on bi-han's face relaxes a bit, but you can still see him holding the stress on his face. there's not much more that you can say. he was right in being upset -- if anyone else abandoned you the way that you did to him or his brothers you'd be livid. the two of you spent months with one another and yet neither of you had confessed your feelings. the tension was palpable and everyone else noticed it too, it was just confusing as to why neither of you acted on your desires. for you, it was the fear of rejection. perhaps it was the same for him as well?
you lean on the terrace on your side, gazing at bi-han. just being near him after all these years was enough of a blessing but something in you wanted more, though you would never publicly admit to this. you stop yourself at first, but then reach for his arm, carefully, almost to not startle him like he's a wild animal at bay for now but at risk of leaving at the first sign of danger. he doesn't retreat, moving his gaze from your face to your arm. you gently get a hold of his forearm, grazing your thumbs against them. he's cold, but retracts the cold from his skin so that it's back to normal temperature. you hold your gaze at his arm, almost too shy to look at his face.
"i think you've missed me all this time."
bi-han scoffs. "not in the slightest."
"then why are you so close to me?"
it's like the act is intuition. he notices how close the two of you are now and apparently his closeness has gone unnoticed because only a mere half foot now separates the two of you. he lets out a small chuckle out of annoyance and shakes his head.
"you still remain as aggravating as ever."
you put your hand on your hip.
"i apologize for upsetting the mighty grandmaster of the lin kuei." you say, coming a little closer and almost closing the already-tiny gap between the two of you.
"that can be rectified." he says, almost flirtatiously. you're a bit taken aback by his frisky comment. you thought he might've actually been offended by your comment but it seems that his playful nature has become unfamiliar to you after all these years. you place your hand gently on his cheek, caressing his cheekbones and acne scars.
"i've missed you, you know," you finally express your true feelings.
bi-han's eyes soften a little.
"i should've been here-with you....i know that i didn't exactly give you much closure bu-," before you can continue on with your tedious apology he fills the space between the two of you and kisses you with a voracious hunger you've never seen before. his nose pushes against yours and you lean into the kiss, slightly moaning. he tries to slide his tongue against you and it's almost as though the two of you are young kids again, sparring. you defend your mouth, refusing to let his tongue inside but he grabs ahold of your other arm, surprising you. taking advantage of your shock, he slips his tongue inside triggering another gentle moan from you. the two of you wrestle with your tongues, exploring the smallest crevices of one another's mouths. years of tension and pressure are finally alleviated with this kiss. you lean in for more, like a child fiending for sugar, but he pulls away to gaze in your eyes.
you take a deep breath -- that workout took a lot of your wind away from you. however, your lips still draw near his, lowkey aching for more.
"i've wanted to do that for so long..." he says, pushing his forehead against yours. "are you planning on leaving again?"
you smile brightly. so the cold-hearted grandmaster did hold a soft spot for you.
"that depends. do you want me to stay?"
he removes his hands from your wrist and brings them up to your face, reciprocating your earlier caresses.
"as long as you don't leave again."
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