#dont know how to sustain relationships

[tayalisons]

.

#my relationship with taylor has been largely sustained by her songs like i do like her but im ngl some of the things she does or decisions #she makes it makes me wanna pull my hair out a bit like #idc if she isnt dating him the fact that he's in her circle is enough bad #like i refuse to believe with how bottom of the barrel he is his ideologies and bigotry wouldnt have slipped out in their day to day convos #like no way #that man that spews unfiltered garbage on podcasts??? #anyways ... idk . i dont even know how she'll come back from this to me

[oharaslover]

omg your miguel stories are tew good plz stop encouraging my obsession💀 but just in case you dont wanna listen👀... is there anyway you can do a one shot of miguel being like a laid back sugar daddy/just spoils the absolute shit out of us without giving a fuck PLEASE🙏🏾

anywaysssss love you and i wish you all the best<3

million dollar man

pairing: miguel o’hara x fem reader

contents: age gap (reader’s in college while miguel’s in mid thirties), handjob, and semi-public fingering

author’s note: i loved writing this request sm so thank you for allowing me to indulge 😩 wishing you the best too <33

word count: 4.8K

The rules of the website had practically imprinted in your brain with how many times you reread them- no cat-fishing relationships or scams, no low-quality photos, and to not be abusive. The rules seemed pretty simple but you couldn't help but hesitate to accept the terms, your hand hovering the cursor. "Oh fuck, just click it already," you mumbled to yourself, accepting the small box on the right corner of the screen after a couple seconds of hesitation. Your screen flooded with what seemed to be hundreds of older men, most of them actively seeking out for a sugar baby in exchange for some kind of service in return.

You'd been wanting to sign up for a sugar daddy website after noticing how empty your pantry was, a couple ramen packets sitting on the counters collecting dust. While you knew that you could be living much worse, you couldn't help but want more than eating the same food everyday. With the amount of student debt that you were crumbling under, you couldn't afford to make extravagant purchases. The job that you had managed to sustain you for your basic needs, but you were tired of simply just floating above the debt line. You found yourself with the desire to have more.

You decided to accept on the terms of the website and set up a profile, but you couldn't bring yourself to explore the options available. You stepped aside from the computer, rubbing over your eyes as you debated the reality of the situation.

You didn't have much time to regret your decision though, your phone alarm ringing with the reminder that you had to be getting ready for work soon. You shut off your computer, deciding to face the consequences of your actions at a much later time when you weren’t running late. After putting on the uniform for the ice cream shop that you worked at, you made your way out the house out to the parlor.

"I don't really see what the problem is with having a sugar daddy. You deserve more than what this place pays," one of your coworkers, Luna, told you as the two of you cleaned up the spoons from the previous shift. "You don't think I'm being a gold digger by doing it?" You asked her, wanting to get some kind of reassurance about the doubts that'd been clouding your mind since you'd joined the website.

She shrugged, walking over to take the order of an elderly woman that walked in. "If they know what they're getting into, I don't think it constitutes as being a gold digger. They know that the relationship is purely transactional," she responded to your question after the woman stepped away with her vanilla cone.

Her words rung through your mind as you sat down in front of your computer after getting off work, deciding to explore the options that were available. Most of the names shown on the website were some of Nueva York's most prominent businessmen, their name plastered onto some of the most successful buildings in the state.

You'd expected for most of the profiles to be senile men who were in the middle of a life crisis, instead getting men in their mid forties to sixties. Your nose scrunched up as you clicked through some of their profiles, most of them coming up as married with the description of 'wanting discreet fun.'

You were about to give up on your search for the night when you stumbled upon a profile of a man in his mid-thirties, one of the youngest men you'd seen in the fifteen minutes of scrolling. Miguel O'Hara. His profile revealed to you that he was divorced, his description being that he sought out for someone to spend time with in exchange for monitory compensation, a clear difference between his profile and the others you'd encountered.

To say that he was an easy swipe right was an understatement, your finger almost snapping off from how fast you clicked on your mouse. Not only was his persona more endearing than those you'd encountered, he was one of the more handsome men you'd had seen. You didn't think too much of the swipe, your eyes widening in surprise as you got the notification that it was a match.

You spent about a week talking to him about what could be expected out of the arrangement before he suggested that he take you out to a dinner. His reasoning behind the spontaneous date was that he simply wanted to see how the two connected outside of text, get a feeling of what type of person you were. As you waited for the day of the dinner to arrive, you couldn't help but be filled with anticipation and excitement.

You'd even gotten up early the day of to plan out your outfit ahead of time so you wouldn't have to do so after class, choosing to wear a pair of jeans that weren't too distressed with a black top.  Scenarios of how the dinner would go riddled your mind throughout the day, your focus of what was on the board diminishing with every second that you were in the classroom.

You showed up to dinner half an hour late due to the subway not arriving at its designated time, easily finding Miguel through the crowds of people. not only was the tallest one in the room, he was also the one with the nicest attire in the place. The black button down shirt he had on accentuated the bulging muscles underneath, the material flexing to fit around him perfectly and the black slacks that he had on fit his legs to perfection.

You caught a whiff of his cologne when he stood up to shake your hand, the pure scent of him reeking of money. He pulled the chair back for you, waiting for you to take a seat before he sat back down. You couldn't help but notice how well he filled out the seat, the pure presence of him almost demanding to be seen.

"Sorry I'm late, the subway got delayed," you started off, wondering just how long he'd been here waiting for you to show up. "While I do appreciate punctuality, I understand," he responded, handing you one of the menus from the table. You picked up the menu, noticing that none of the prices were on there but rather just what the meals had to offer.

A waiter came by a couple minutes later to take the orders, Miguel ordering steak with mashed potatoes and a red wine. "I'll just get the grilled chicken with water, please," you told the waiter, handing them your menu along with Miguel’s. They nodded and stepped away, the only sound at the table being the classical music playing throughout the restaurant.

You looked down at the plate of food dumbfounded, wondering how exactly it was that rich people got full. You were half expecting for the waiter to announce that it was a prank, to come back and fill up your plate. Upon realizing that the two bites that were placed on your plate was the whole meal, you reluctantly took a bite out of it.

"So, the terms of our arrangement would be pretty simple. I'd provide you with the funds that you deem appropriate and you would provide me with your company. I'm not expecting any kind of sexual favors in return, but I wouldn't be opposed to it if you had the desire to," he told you, his tone casual as if he were just having another business arrangement. You almost choked on the water you were sipping, setting the glass back down.

"So what you're saying is that you don't want to have sex with me unless you and I wanted to," you repeated back to him, raising a brow as he nodded. "Do you mind if I ask why?" The question came out of you without much thought, his brows furrowing in exchange. You thought he wasn't going to respond to the question as his silence turned deafening, the room seeming to rise in temperature with every second that passed. "I’m looking for this certain kind of arrangement because I know what to expect from this. My daughter passed away a couple months ago and it helped me to realize that no amount of money that I have will keep anyone next to me," he responded after a couple of minutes, his words coming out with a certain kind of precision as he spoke.

You stayed quiet as you let the words stick in your brain, wondering just what exactly it was that made this man so closed off to the world. You wanted to ask him more questions, but you figured that they weren't appropriate for the setting or the arrangement that was being discussed.

"I'd start off with giving you a short allowance for now, $500 a week just to get you started. It'll increase the more that we spend time together, a little bonus if we have to show up to an event together. Obviously, iId take care of the expenses of your outfit," he added, his red eyes boring into yours like they wanted to see through your very being. “That all sounds very promising, but I think I need some time to think about it if you don't mind," you finally spoke up, watching as his eyebrows bunched up before he nodded.

"You look unsatisfied by the meal. Was it not up to your liking?" He asked after you finished up with your meal, placing a couple hundred dollar bills on the table. "No, the meal was good. thank you," you told him, giving him a tight smile as you got up from the dinner table once the waiter came over to the table. "So if it was good, why do you look unhappy?" He pushed the question further, his eyes locked on you as the two of you headed out of the restaurant.

"Like I said, there wasn't anything wrong with the food. the portions were just a bit.. questionable," you responded, your voice dropping towards the end like you were admitting something taboo. You were expecting for him to protest after what he'd just paid, not the small chuckle that escaped from his lips.

Miguel took you to a burger joint in Brooklyn, stating that 'no other place could do it quite the same.' You'd ordered yourself a burger and fries along with a milkshake, Miguel getting the same thing as you. "Thank you for saying something, the whole meal felt like an appetizer," he told you as the two of you sat down with your trays, the juiciness from the burger looking more inviting than the piece of chicken you'd eaten earlier.

"How do you rich people put up with eating like that?" You asked him, almost moaning at the taste of the burger once you took a bite. "Most of them do cocaine if I'm being frank. I normally don't eat out unless I need to so it's few times I have to subject myself to that," he explained, watching as you stole some of his french fries with amusement.

Despite the initial awkwardness that'd been present throughout the dinner, you couldn't help but enjoy talking to him as the night progressed. His dry humor was something that you were growing to like, the way that he seemed to have a response for everything that you asked/told him.

He was honest and direct, not in a way that he used to excuse what some might deem as 'rude', but in a way that seemed genuine and vulnerable. He'd taken you home after the two of you had finished up, saying that it was too dangerous for you to be taking the subway alone at this hour. You watched as he pulled out of your house, a small smile on your face as he drove away.

The doubts about the arrangement crawled back into your brain once you were alone, absentmindedly reaching over for your laptop and signing in. You weren't sure what exactly it is that you sought out for, maybe some kind of reassurance that he wouldn't get bored with you or start expecting for you to act a certain way around him.

You opened up your browser, deciding to read a Reddit thread about the experiences that some others had as being sugar babies. While some of them described the experience as something pleasant, a few posts lingered about some other girls that had a bad encounter with their sugar daddy. You decided to close your computer after a couple minutes, coming to the realization that Miguel was nothing like the men described in those awful experiences and the decision to say yes had never been so obvious before.

You weren't sure when it was that you started seeing Miguel as more than a provider, seeing him as someone that you cared about beyond what he was giving you. He'd kept true to his promise, his daily allowance now being $700 with the time that the two of you spent together. You'd started to seek him out for the littlest things that you had to do, such as going out on grocery runs or going out for lunch.

When you'd asked him to go to the grocery store with you, you'd managed to deny the growing attraction that was slowly starting to build up by simply telling yourself that you were using him since he was able to reach the top shelf. But the more that you gave a thought about where the relationship between the two of you was headed, the more that you were certain that you couldn't live with yourself if he wasn't present in your future.

You went over to his house after feeling overwhelmed with your final exams coming up, hoping that he would just be able to spare a couple minutes and hold you. "What's wrong?" He asked once he opened the door, exhaustion and anxiety coating your features. "I just need you," you responded back to him, his face softening just the slightest bit before he opened the door to let you in.

He guided you over to his couch, his hand wrapping around your shoulders as he stroked your upper arm. The two of you stayed silent for a while, simply staring at the fireplace ahead of you. "I hope I didn't disturb you," you spoke up, knowing how busy he was.

"You could never disturb me. I like having you around, you're more tolerable than the people I work with," he responded, his thumb lazily drawing circles on your arm. "I'll take that as a compliment," you murmured, leaning against him as you felt the combined heat from his body and the fireplace lulling you into a sense of peace and security. "You should. What's got your little head all worked up anyways?" He inquired, the flame from the fireplace flickering in his eyes as you looked up at him.

"I have finals coming up. And I can't really afford to fail, otherwise I'll get my scholarship taken away. I don't know, I guess I'm just anxious knowing how much is on the line," you told him, realizing just how silly your concerns sounded out loud. “I can help you out if you’re really that stressed out about them,” he suggested after a couple seconds, the movements on your arm coming to a stop. "How about this. if you pass your finals, I'll take you on a little trip to Cabo to celebrate. We'll go on a mall spree beforehand to get you ready."

True to his word, Miguel had the tickets set up for the weekend which you would be done with finals. He'd been the first person that you told about passing them, hearing him say that he was proud of you felt like an even bigger accomplishment especially after he dedicated some of time towards helping you review.

"I knew that you could do it, you're so smart," he'd told you once you shared the news with him, his big arms enveloping you in a hug as he held you close to him. It was the first time he'd hugged you, the feeling strange to the both of you as he did. The act felt unpracticed, something he hadn't done in a long time with the way that his arms awkwardly wrapped around you. Despite that minor detail, you felt invincible as he held you like nothing could touch you.

"I'm thinking about getting my nails done. Which set do you think would look better?" You asked, handing him your phone with the Pinterest board of designs you'd saved. He grabbed his glasses from his case, putting them on the bridge of his nose as he peered down at your phone.

"Isn't it all the same just in different colors?" He noted, scrolling through your phone as he tried to find a difference in the multitude of designs you'd saved. "There's somewhat of a difference in there, it's pretty subtle since I just tend to go for what i'm familiar with," you responded, putting on your seatbelt as you waited. The two of you were heading out to the mall, but you'd come up with idea of getting your nails done after getting in the car.

Miguel ended up liking a simple red design with some gemstones on the pointer and ring finger so you gave the reference photo to the lady doing your nails. You watched as she put on the gemstones with precision, your eyes flicking over to Miguel as he waited for you in the lobby.

If he was uncomfortable in this setting, he didn't show it as he scrolled through the People magazine available. You turned your attention back to your nails, an idea sparking up in your head as she started to put on the final touches to the gem design. "Do you mind putting an initial on my ring finger?" You asked her before it was too late, waiting for her to agree before you told her what letter you wanted on there.

Your hand rested on his pants as he drove, his eyes flicking down to the design and slightly widened as he noticed the small 'M' on your ring finger. "What'd you do that for?" He asked, his attention turning back to the road after a couple moments of shock. "Figured it would be a nice little detail since you were so generous in paying for them," you responded, sliding down his zipper with a bit of difficulty as you adjusted to the feeling of the acrylic once more.

You watched as he let out a shaky breath, his eyes remaining on the road ahead. "I'm driving," he warned you as you started to palm him through his boxers. "So keep your eyes on the road, Miguelito. Just feel," you reiterated, your hand squeezing around his cock slightly. “Ay Dios, nos vas a matar.” (oh god, you’re going to kill us)

You watched as he retrained himself as he drove, knuckles starting to turn white from how hard he was gripping the steering wheel. You picked up some of the precum leaking out through the tip of his reddened cock, lathering all over the shaft as a form of lubrication. Your hand moved with ease up and down his semi-hardened length, his cock getting harder with each tug that you gave him.

He let out a small hiss as he felt one of your nails brush up against the underside of his cock, the area a bit sensitive for him. He'd pay for your nails hundreds of times over and over if it meant he got to see them wrapped around his cock with his initial on them.

You pulled your hand once Miguel was nearing the mall, drying your hand of the sticky residue with a piece of tissue paper he had in the glove box. "Now you decide to stop?" He asked, maneuvering his way into the parking lot with such ease, parking in reverse in what seemed to be mere seconds. If it were up to you, you would've taken about twenty minutes to do the task before eventually giving up.

Your attention went back to the bulge in his pants, his cock still hard from your previous ministrations. "Well, maybe you'll get more motivated to get out of the mall now," you suggested, getting out of the car as you dusted off your attire. Miguel rolled his eyes as he followed behind you throughout the mall, his hand making the slightest contact with yours.

You stumbled into a Gucci store after a while of walking through the mall, immediately drawn into the designs of the bags. You looked around, one of them in particular catching your eye. The design of the bag was beautiful yet simple, a black leather handbag in the shape of a heart. Your eyes widened as you looked at the price tag attached, your hands making quick work to return it to the shelf.

Before you could get the chance though, Miguel grabbed your hand and turned your attention to him. "What's wrong with the bag? You don't like it?" He asked as he looked at you, expecting for some kind of reasonable answer. "No, there's nothing wrong. it's just expensive," you responded, avoiding eye contact with him as you stepped away from the shelf.

"Well, how much is it?" You heard him ask behind you before you got the chance to walk away too far, his hands reaching up for the purse. "It's almost five grand and that's not including tax. It's fine, I don't need a pu-," you started off but you got quickly interrupted when Miguel called over a sales associate to get him the bag from the back. "I thought you said it was expensive, mi cielo," he simply stated before he went off to check out with the associate that had the bag in a dust bag, taking his black amex card from his pocket as the transaction processed. You stood behind, watching as he paid for the bag with seemingly no hesitation.

The rational side of you threatened to come out, wanting to tell him that he could be spending those five thousand on something other than a bag, but you pursed your lips and watched the scene unfurling in front of you. You remembered the whole point of why'd you even joined the sugar daddy website, wanting the opportunity at having nice things.

"You may not need a purse, but your eyes practically lit up when you saw this one. I'm here so you don't have to resign to that disappointment that you've grown used to," he told you as the two of you walked out of the store, his hand resting on the small of your back. “Well, thank you. I really did like the bag,” you told him, leaning up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. You walked around the mall, eyes glancing around the different stores before eventually walking into Nordstrom.

You picked out a couple pieces for the trip that you'd need, such as a couple dresses, skirts, and bikinis for the warm weather you’d be exposed to. Miguel went with you to the fitting rooms, sitting down on the couches outside as he waited for you to finish up. You'd changed into the shirt and skirt that you'd pulled into the dressing room, looking at yourself reflected on the body-length mirror.

You couldn't deny that the skirt made every part of your legs look good, from your thighs to your ass. Even though you were confident that Miguel would end up liking it, you still decided to call him in to get his opinion. He opened up the door as discretely as he could, glancing around to make sure that no associates were nearby as he stepped inside.

You couldn't help but let out a small laugh as the giant of a man in front of you was rendered speechless, eyes raking up and down your figure as he took you in. "Te ves tan hermosa dressed like that," he finally spoke up after a couple seconds, his hands wrapping around your waist as he held you close to his body. (you look so gorgeous)

You weren't completely sure what the first part of his sentence meant, but you could guess that it was something good based on the tone of endearment that he used and the way that he couldn't keep his hands off you. "Can you be quiet for me?" He asked, looking at you through the mirror as his hands splayed on your stomach. The question sounded more like he was telling you to be quiet, so you simply nodded along and watched him sit down on the small stool.

Miguel placed you down on his clothed thigh, your legs spread out for him as your back fell flush against his toned chest. His hand made his way down your body, your skirt being pushed up as he did so. He cupped your clothed cunt, the expense of his hand capturing most of it.

"You look so pretty when you're all like this. All needy and just for me," he murmured into your ear, one of his hands holding you in place as the other one slid the black pair of panties you'd chosen to wear. One of his fingers went inside your cunt, the tightness of your walls engulfing it completely as he pushed it deeper inside of you. Your slick coated his finger as he opened you up in a way that only he could, reaching places that even some of your toys couldn't reach.

"Excuse me, but do you need some help in there? you've been in there for an awful long time," an associate called out, knocking on your door. Your eyes widened at the prospect of getting caught in this position, a small muffled gasp making its way out of you. "No, the dress is just stuck," you called out, hoping your voice didn't come out as needy as it sounded to your own ears.

"Well I can come in there and help you out. Sorry, it's just that we have a line forming," the associate told you, her hand coming to the doorknob and slightly shaking it as if she were trying to open it. Her attempts failed since the door was still locked on your end, the rattling of the knob stopping a couple seconds later.

You were half expecting him to remove his hand, but his fingers remained deep inside of your cunt as he looked down at you. "You weren't playing fair in the car so why should I have to play fair?" He spoke just low enough for you to hear, a hint of amusement as he spoke. You struggled to keep your voice even as you spoke, resisting the urge to just go ahead and let a moan rip out.

"Uh no, thank you though. It's just a zipper but it's almost off," you told the sales associate, letting out a small sigh of relief as the clacking of her heels retreated from the dressing rooms. Miguel pushed another one of his fingers into your cunt, moving them in a scissoring motion before he curled them upwards to reach that spot inside of you.

Your toes curled and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt his thumb make contact with your clit, the nub already starting to stimulate just by the touch of his finger. You felt your clit throb against his fingers as he rubbed small circles on it, the rhythm in sync with the fingers he was pushing inside of you.

Your back flushed against his chest as you felt yourself getting closer to that sweet release of euphoria, your shaky breaths and whimpers getting muffled as you pressed the palm of your hand against your mouth. Just as you were approaching that all too familiar release, Miguel pulled his hands away quickly.

You were about to protest before remembering what you'd done in the car, the words dying in your throat as you got up from his lap. "Touché," you mumbled as you started taking off the clothes that you'd been trying on, watching as he wiped his hand off on a handkerchief. Miguel covered up your body with his as he stepped out of the dressing room, closing the door quickly afterwards.

"Sorry about that, she called me into help her with the zipper. stupid thing wouldn't budge," you heard him speak outside, surely talking to the associate who must be growing impatient with every second that you spent inside. You stepped back into your clothes, carrying the choices that you'd picked out as you went to go join Miguel at the checkout line.

Needless to say, the attire that you'd showed Miguel proved to be a definite yes. He gladly paid for the rest of your clothes, not batting an eye as the total came out to be two thousand. "Thank you for the excellent customer service. The concern that you show for your consumers is truly admirable," he noted as the associate handed him back his card, a small smirk creeping up on his lips as he also received the shopping bag. The two of you made your way out of the store, completing the small checklist that the two of you had made for what was needed in order to have a successful trip.

#oharaslover #miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara smut #smut #miguel o’hara across the spider verse #spiderman #spiderman smut #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara fic #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x you #miguel o’hara fanfiction #miguel o’hara spiderman 2099 #atsv miguel #spiderman 2099 #spiderman across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #atsv smut #miguel atsv #self insert #miguel ohara #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #spiderman atsv #miguel x reader #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #miguel smut #miguel fic

[n3xii]

This post is an overview of what your higherself has to say to you- what they want you to know about the present moment and what they’re helping you with. I also do personal readings for an affordable price, check out my pinned post if you feel inclined to see what I offer. My cashapp is sarahx2x if you want to tip

Masterlist

PILE ONE

What your higher self wants you to know about the current moment-

‘‘two of swords, ace of wands and the empress’‘

Your higherself is acknowledging that right now you’re feeling uncertain about what your passionate about, you feel a bit lost and disconnected maybe from what fires you up. It may feel you’re stuck in a stalemate with yourself, riddled with mental confusion, not sure what you’re really drawn to or what is an fleeting passion. You’re scared to make a descion to take inspired action because you’re stuck in your head, worried that you will choose the wrong thing. clairty is blocked keeping you in a state of uncertainty. If chakra healing resonates with you, then you may want to work on sacral chakra healing as well as crown chakra healing because those seem blocked at the moment. At a fundamental level, you feel blocked from taking inspired action and getting out of this mental stalemate because you’ve lost touch with your sensual, creative side. The empress to me is about reception, and in order to be in the energy of receiving, you must be connected and grounded into your body. This way, you can feel more connected to your own fire and be mentally prepared to take action without feeling unsure of yourself. Being connected to your senses and to your creativity, however creativity manifests for you, will help ground you and unblock you. 

what your higherself is helping you with-

‘‘building blocks’‘

Your higherself is helping you establish a firm foundation in life so that you can stabilize your own footing and feel more comfortable taking action. In a way, your higher self is helping you build a stable infrastructure for your relationships, career progress, self identity so that you’re prepared for anything that comes at you in life.  Your higherself is helping you idenitfy the tools and resources that you already have infornt of you to design this life, to design the structure of your life. You might notice you will be evaluating your core beliefs and self percerption, your beliefs about romantic partnerships, compromise and friendships will be changing soon. This is your higher self trying to prepare you for a more stable foundation. Your higherself is trying to help you have what you need on a fundamental level to build successful relationships specifically. 

 PILE TWO

what your higher self wants you to know about your current moment-

‘‘the sun, two of wands, the 8 of cups’‘

Your higherself is trying to tell you that everything is being illuminated for you plain and simple. Dont overcomplicate things, take the time to contemplate where youve been and where you want to go before you move forward. The two of wands and the 8 of cups together tells me that this process will include taking inventory of what you need to reject and walk away from so that you can direct your attention to future longterm goals. Your higher self wants you to know that these things that you need to walk away from are in plain sight, they are not hidden under subtle messages in dreams or deep within the fabric of your subconscious mind. The sun tells me that you’re already aware of what behaviors, people or attitudes are no longer sustainable for the long term goals you want to move towards. take the time to reflect on where you want to go and how you’re gonna leave behind old ways of thinking, behaving, any habits you want to leave behind as well. carrying these in to your future goals will be incompatible with where you want to go. 

what your higher self is helping you with-

‘‘never ending story’‘

your higherself is helping you release old stories, old stories of lack, self hatred, feeling inadequate etc. your higher self is trying to help you with your self criticism and typing up loose ends with any unnecessary drama or people in your life. As the 8 of cups said in the reading, you’re needing to leave behind something in order to fully embrace your long term goals. And im being shown here that this may actually have to do with self criticism, struggling to be kind to yourself, and possibly any people in your life that should have been gone along time ago. Youre dealing with old stories playing out in your life, and these old stories need to be left behind, reexamine your self beliefs and if they truly match up with what life you wanna create for yourself. 

PILE THREE

what your higherself wants you to know about the current moment-

‘‘7 of pentacles, 10 of wands, and strength’‘

 Your higherself wants you to know that your current efforts will not be for nothing, you will be successful, you will get though this period of waiting and you have the strength, spiritual and physical willpower to keep going. I feel like you’re just trying to get through a cycle, and you've been putting in the work and carried alot of burdens to do this. I see that you’re trying to achieve a sense of respect, courage, success, and something you've invested either in money or energy in has went through a change, and you’re just trying to stick it through to the end. some of you may have been in a leadership role or forced to assume a leadership role when this happened but not all of you. Regardless, alot of pressure has been put on your nervous system lately and your higherself wants you to know that you are strong enough to withstand the pressure. If you rely solely on your physical strength you will grow tired, lean on your spiritual or philosophical beliefs if you have them because that could provide an unending source of strength. You will get through this cycle and you will be stronger because of it. 

what your higherself is helping you with-

‘‘come to the edge’‘

your higherself is helping you by presenting opportunities for you to show your leadership skills, they are sending you opportunities' that will require you to be brave and take action. your higherself is trying to tell you that what you're experiencing right now is gonna help you be a more brave person in the future especially in social situations and when placed under pressure. Your higherself ultimately wants you to be confident, to be comfortable in the spotlight. And your higherself knows that in order to do this, you must take risks. So a more accurate representation of this card is to say your higherself is trying to help you take more risks. 

#tarot #pick a card readings #pac readings #pick a card tarot readings #tarot readings #pick a pile reading #pick a card #pac #pick a photo reading #tarot reading #love tarot reading #career tarot reading #higher self #wiccan #wicca #astrology #astro notes #accurate reading #free tarot reading #psychic readings #accurate post is accurate #free psychic reading #messages from spirit

[askganon]

Great King, I need encouragement. I have not had an easy life. Any form of abuse besides sexual my parents committed against me. Any time anything is left to chance the worst possible outcome is chosen by the gods, even should I do everything right. I have more mental illnesses, mental and physical disabilities than I can count. I cant do many jobs and can hardly hold most of the ones I CAN do down, on account of the disabilities. My family comes from the worst poverty possible and its grip on me is so strong I know I will never be comfortably free from it. Everyone I've ever known has abandoned me and those that came back keep me at a healthy distance as fair weather friends. Simply put, I'm a survivor, and I intend to survive as long as there is sand in my hourglass. When I am knocked down, nails bloodied and gone, nose broken, I spit my teeth and blood out of my mouth, wipe the dirt out of my eyes and get back up only to get punched back down to the ground just to get back up again. I take pride in this fact, should the whole world and even the gods/goddesses and even lady luck herself be my enemy I will. Not. Succumb. But I am tired... I tired of being strong, I tire of pain, of being offered relief or a mercy only to have it snatched away from me at the cruelest moment against all odds, of having every bit of happiness locked behind one paywall I can never hope to meet, of having everyone like me but never cherish me... I tire not of life but never having lived. I tire of only ever surviving. I dont know what to do, where I can find relief, when or how I get to rest even if just for a moment. I know I must continue on and I know that I will but I have no desire or motivation to do so. Any words of advice or encouragement from you would be a gift, I have admired you since I was young for you have lived a similar life.

There is little I can add as endearment, for all that I would say you have already stated in your resolve.

But you have come to Demon King Ganondorf seeking wisdom. So, it is Demon King Ganondorf's wisdom you shall have.

First, I will make a wound and force it to bleed. Then, I will put salt in that wound, and make you feel the sting of truth. It is only with calm and mature reflection can one see the purpose in the words beyond appeared insult.

First, the wound.

Life is not happiness.

Life is struggle, trial, failure and pain. It can be torment and relief, beautiful and ugly, but it is never happy. Any who speak otherwise are either fools or devils.

It has been said that life is the pursuit of happiness. This is a dream for the mad.

In truth, a "good" life, or one lived well, is one not driven by happiness, but by contentment.

To achieve this, a choice must be made. It is only one choice, but it is the same choice one must make eternally. That is to choose between compromise and suffrage.

In short, will you compromise to be content, or will you suffer for it?

To place this into an example, I could have compromised as King, living content with "It could be worse." Or I could have suffered for contentment with "It could be better."

Which do you think I chose?

Now for the salt.

I have listened to the retelling of your life, and have words regarding it.

I hold no sympathy for abusers of any kind. They cannot match the skills and abilities of their peers, so choose instead to face opponents they know they can conquer. There is no honor nor challenge in an assured victory, and I expect all of them to die knowing they were failures in life and will be forgotten in death.

But as to your abandonments, I hold a different opinion. While the abandonment of one might whisper you the victim, the abandonment of all screams the opposite.

Reflect on these relationships and seek out the common root between them. Do this, but do not rest on the easy answer and use your disabilities as a crutch.

It is said that hurt people hurt people. Perhaps the abuse you sustained in your youth evolved into traits within of which you are unaware.

Seek this out within yourself. If it is discovered, then you have a choice to make.

Will you compromise with this, and remain content in your solitude? Or will you suffer to change this aspect, granting you the chance at a healthy relationship and the possibility of happy moments in a content life?

#ganondorf #legend of zelda

[kindagayfish]

Hello friend!

Im new to the trigun family after watching Stampede and recently ive been on a Knives kick and i dont see much content about him x reader.

So i was wondering if we could get some headcanons about what would make Knives feel “those gross human feelings” (love, the need to protect,need for affection) for the reader, and how he would tell them or show them?

I just need some knives fluff! Boy needs and hug! If you dont wanna write that, thats totally fine!! Thank you!!

A/N: Knives is SUCH an interesting character and im literally so feral for him. This is very much stream-of-conscious writing and not proofread. It also turned out so much longer than I expected! I legit got so carried away so I hope you enjoy it!!

Also I feel like my thoughts/headcanons for Knives will always be constantly evolving because he's just such a complex character??? And I love it???

Contains: Hints of nsfw thoughts if you squint??, fluff I guess??, can knives even do fluff???, the slowest of slowburns for this man

So we know Knives does know what love feels like…sorta. He loves Vash, and wants to see a future where they can both live their lives without the fear of being used for what they are. However, that means killing every human left on the planet. So it’s a twisted kind of love…but he still cares in his own way.

I don’t think Knives would notice you right away. It won’t be some love-at-first-sight, omg this human was so nice to me thing. It will take A LOT of time. He has completely blocked himself off from anyone because of fear, and fear is an intense driving force.

Perhaps you’re involved in his grand scheme somehow; A scientist in a lab who has taken a special interest in the Plants. At first, you’re focused on finding a more sustainable way for them to be used…but then after witnessing one open itself up, showing a high level of intelligence, you change your studies to find a way for them to live beyond the confines of the glass tanks.

You’re aware of Knives. Aware that he’s what they call an Independent. And you take notes on him, studying any file that isn’t restricted from the ships that once roamed the universe.

Knives becomes aware of you rather quickly. It's hard to ignore the way your eyes follow his every move, jotting down your observations quickly into a notebook that never seems to leave your hands. At first he finds it irritating, having this human stalk him like a shadow. However, it was only when you caught him on a particularly bad day that he finally spoke to you.

"Get OUT." His voice was ice, sending a sharp tendral into your notebook, tearing it from your hands. You let out a pained yelp, though none of the blades touched had you, and ran out of the room.

After he's calmed down, curiosity gets the better of him, and Knives spends the rest of the evening reading through your notes.

The next day it's him that seeks you out. Knives finds you in a lab, placing your in-tact notebook on the table in front of you before stating that some of your observations were incorrect, which causes you to flush with embarrassment. He leaves immediately after, and upon inspecting your notebook, you find that he had crossed out some of your own notes, replacing it with the "correct" information.

Knives begins to tolerate your company. You're not as insufferable as the other humans, and he finds himself quite intrigued by how brave you've gotten around him ever since that day. But he continues to keep himself at a distance….for now.

So anyways as your "relationship" with Knives progresses:

Knives shows his love through acts of service and quality time. He allows you into his space; allows himself to lower his guard and try to understand these strange feelings he gets when around you. Although, again, this takes time.

He'll start to show interest in whatever experiments you're running, quietly observing from a respectable distance. It might even start to feel like you’re the one being studied from how intense his silent stare is (he is 100% memorizing everything about you).

The more time spent with you, the more possessive he becomes of this time...and just you in general.

Knives knows that you have to talk to others in order to do your job, but that doesn't mean he won't glare at them until they walk away. He prides himself on how his presence alone can clear a room so it can just be the two of you.

If you forget to eat, time getting away from you, Knives might sigh and fetch you something. Setting it down directly in front of you and making comments under his breath about how "humans are pathetic" and how you "can't even take care of yourself". You're like a pet, he tells himself...rationalizing why he would go out of his way to make sure you stay healthy.

Physical touch comes much later

Sometimes you'll feel him lean in from behind, gazing over your shoulder to gain a better view of what you're working on. Heat radiates off of his body, but he never brings himself to touch you. Knives finds it amusing at how flustered you get when he does this and likes to test your boundaries as well as his own. He’ll catch himself too often wondering how soft your skin would feel under his fingertips. It’s a disgusting thought, really. (he is so touch starved but will NOT allow himself to indulge in this innocent fantasy because he’s stubborn and has the biggest god complex)

But it eventually happens one evening when you hand him your notebook. All of his senses are ignited, the place where your fingers brushed against his hand burns throughout the night. Knives can't bring himself to admit he likes this feeling, at least not out loud.

Oh but does he crave it.

It's a thrill, an adrenaline rush, and strangely even more fulfilling than the feeling he gets when he takes a human life.

Starts as "accidental". Fingers colliding when reaching for the same thing, the back of his hand brushing against yours as you both walk, standing too close to you so that when you take a step back, you bump into his chest.

Soon he's grabbing your wrist to stop you from doing something stupid, placing a hand on the small of your back to guide you out of a room, even taking your hand in his, frowning at the fresh injury on your skin, but also burning up inside at the fact that his own hand swallows yours completely. That you're just so fragile. So human.

Knives is absolutely obsessed.

#millions knives x reader #knives millions #millions knives #millions knives headcanons #trigun stampede #trigun x reader #millions knives x you

[ef-1]

Daniel being a weak beta male and everytime someone says something shitty he just laughs uncomfortably instead of condemning it is imo worse than the sustained tantrums Lewis and Seb threw over wanting naked women to hold their umbrellas when it go too sunny, at least they had enough conviction to advocate for it. This is why you bitches deserved to be in the trenches for the last 2 years lmao I can't wait for that generation of drivers to be gone already

??

1. I dont make it a habit to defend any of those men and I'm not about to start now.

2. I'm v sorry Daniel didn't react in the way you wanted him to, do you know what's going to fix this for you? Calling me, a person who hasnt said anything yet, a dumb bitch <3

3. One of us has a parasocial relationship with Daniel and its not me, what Daniel does or says is not a reflection on me as someone who enjoys sport otherwise everyone in this space would be an awful person

4. In any case, I'm (or anyone who likes daniel) not a spokesperson for him, you dont get to ask strangers for statements. + Daniels fans are not your whipping boy. You don't get to give people moral lashes over things that grate your sensibilities you fucking loser

5. Idk how to tell you this about the different generations of drivers here but 😭-

#bEtA mAlE!!! okay andrew tate!!! anyway #you throwing seb and lewis in there as well is v telling #you clearly dont have a problem with THEM but a problem with ME lol #sorry im not your fucking parent or friend or anything really to you. you wont get me to keel over so you can feel better about yourself #how does daniel get in trouble and I GET HATE? DO YOU THINK IM BLAKE ?

[random-idiot-writer]

Nagito's confession

the gender of reader wasnt really mentioned

TW: Self depreacating thoughts, idk a bit of angst

"I.. love you."

The sudden three words hit struck through your heart as soon as they were spoken. You didn't expect a confession from anyone, and much less Nagito.

His thin, tall figure stood there in a moment of silence after his hesitant confession. He was blushing, anxious, afraid, and looked so fragile that he would break upon the lightest touch. His porcelain, pale skin and soft hair emriched in it's beauty as you stare at it, unable to avert your gaze.

Ever since your first glance at his alluring beauty, you have fallen for Nagito as he had, admiring his beauty, yet not having the confidence to speak about it. You never once understood how he spoke such awful phrases about himself when he was, in your eyes, the epitome of perfection.

After realizing the audacity of the words he had spoken aloud, he hastily tried to retract such words in a panick. "I-I'm terribly Y/N! I truly apologize for such insolence for someone such as I to mention such disgusting feelings torwards one of your talent! I did not expect any feelings being returned to my lowly and disgusting being!-"

There he was again, spinning those self deprecating sentences around in a web, trapping himself in it. If only he saw himself the way you had seen him.

He averted his eyes in shame and looked to the floor. "I have spoke out of turn! I understand how impudent and horrible I am for not uttering words without thought behind it!-"

"Nagito.." You started torwards his frail figure, quivering as his own dreadful thoughts swallowed him.

"I-I truly am a lowly condescending creature that insults this race as a human.. I should have treasured what we already had... I-I" Fumbling with his own words now, a flood of tears rolled down his soft cheeks while his eyes refused to meet your own.

"Nagito!" You cupped your hands around his now damp cheeks, and forced his gaze to meet your own. His pale, emerald eyes stared deep within and you both exchanged countless emotions in that close comtact.

"Just shut up and look at me. Not at the floor, or anything else."

His nervous jittering and shrudders slowly dissipated as he focused on the one thing in front of him.

You.

You smiled, knowing his attention shifted from the web of horrible thoughts, before realizing that it was on you. You were his sense of stability at this moment.

Yet, is that fair?

Although you did return his feelings, what would come out of the relationship from you accepting this confession? You would be his solace if you two hard started dating. With these thoughts, he would basically worship every last morsel of your existence, seeing as he already deems you and the other classmates sacrilegious beings on par with what others would view gods as.

No, such a relationship is unhealthy. You having so much power over his thoughts and actions.

To be able to love someone else.. "You must be able to love yourself first." You hadnt noticed that you had finished that sentence aloud.

As soon as he heard those words, Nagito was faced with reality once more. Of course Y/N would not love him back. How imprudent of him to let himself believe that for even a second. A lump formed in his throat. So these feelings of his wont be reciprocated. They never once-

You brushed your thumb across his dampened, soft cheeks, realizing that he was quivering again. In a way, you had rejected him, and though it would be horribly selfish to reassure him when you were the cause of it, you could not help it. "No, it's not that I don't love you back, it's just that this wont be love if you dont love yourself back as much as you love me. We may still be friends of course, Until your confidence is enough to sustain a more healthy relationship." You ment every single word you said, and you knew he could tell as he searched your eyes for any hint of sarcasm.

Content with his searching, he smiled, accepting the outcome. At the start, he was never expecting anything out of this confession apart from finally stating out his buried feelings.

But now, Nagito has a new friend.

And that changed his life forever.

#nagito x reader #nagito #danganronpa sdr2 #danganronpa x reader #danganronpa x y/n #danganronpa nagito #danganronpa boys #nagito x you #nagito x y/n #nagito confession #nagito fluff #The last one was kokichi rejecting reader so now its reader rejecting nagito #sdr2 boys

[hexhomos]

im curious to know your thoughts on viktor's biography saying jayce was nothing more than an inconvenience. how do you handle him saying they were never friends? was this because of piltoverians superiority or? (correct me if im wrong but i cant remember if you touched on that)

A friend of mine once said a catastrophic breakup has the unforeseen consequence of tainting everything that came before it in the harsh, abrasive light of the fresh argument, and after that initial damage is done it’s hard to pick out how the memories *really* were. No matter how positive. You begin to doubt, re-read and re-write what happened, so the ultimate split "makes sense."

This may not even be a conscious process half of the time! But jokes about crazy-ex-girlfriends exist for a reason, and I believe that reason might be a surplus of unwarranted crazy-ex-girlfriend stories that are told after the dissolution of every messy relationship. You need a clear Right and a clear Wrong. Rationalizing your behavior as “only logical, in the face of irrationality,” is a defense mechanism. It’s not a pretty one, but it boils down to this: avoidance of guilt, rejection of any criticism you may consider too true, the reshaping of your narrative so *you* are the one in control, the winner, the guy who’s closing the debate with the perfect comeback, one thought up in the shower 12 hours after the fact.

Viktor lies a lot. By omission, exaggeration, negligence and a sense of dwindling pride. Jayce is simultaneously unstoppably unjust and a worm-man that could be crushed beneath his heel; an insufferable viktor never chose for himself! Who is, at the same time, somehow, his work partner of years, actively by his side right up until his last project - or until he's had enough. And the dissonance is the point. This is an image that has been warped so much in editing you can see the smudgy click and drag marks in the surroundings. 

I do think Jayce and Viktor were friends, and this is an assertion I make without doubt. Viktor calls jayce his old friend when the plea benefits him, this is corroborated by how positively Jayce's bio speaks about Viktor, even while criticizing his methods.

Jayce is indifferent to nearly everyone he meets, he says so himself, in his opening paragraphs; if he really was so Out There To Get Viktor And Ruin His Life &/Or Reputation- what fucking reason does he have to defend Viktor's honor after he's proved himself to be unstable and aggressive? If their relationship was nonexistent, sour, or predicated exclusively in rivalry or animosity, why does Viktor ask for Jayce to join him in his grand plan, after years of alleged cold war? What reason is there for Jayce to apologize and still extend him an out after Viktor sinks his head in with a giant crystal? What reason is there for him to even disclose doing that? (what reason is there for Jayce to call Viktor petnames after multiple direct attempts on his life???? LOL)

To put it mildly. If we are to take Viktor’s POV by his word (imagine he is being honest,) and see this as a straightforward detached revenge story about prejudice or jayce’s unreasonable hero complex or piltover carelessly wanting to trump over zaun or whatever - why doesn’t Jayce’s side of the story simply call him a cunt and move on? He has all the setup to prop himself as the true hero, but he doesn’t. Like Bon points out here, Jayce’s bio doesn’t even bring up that Viktor is a Zaunite. Not Once. There is no stereotypical city grudge casting him in a bad light. The information is implicit: they talk about Zaun, extensively, but Viktor’s ideas and standing and existence are what you know him by, not some undercity-dwelling boogeyman. If anything, Jayce self-deprecates far more frequently than Viktor does, and makes a sustained effort to poke holes on the audience’s perception of him being a ‘valiant hearted hero’ of any kind. He dont give a fuck. He doesn't want this title. He did not pick it. He is not choosing to represent this city. He has other, better, palpable things to care about. Namely his work, and generally ‘preventing people from being made into fucking zombies’. Jayce doesn’t want you to think that he is right(eous), but that what is happening is wrong.

If I take a step back from text interpretation here and tell you what I personally gather from it, Opinion Wise, it's this: Viktor is concerned with presenting you with a tragic fable because he has an ideology to sell. The revisions and concessions he makes along the way are for the ultimate purpose of crafting a legend. And sometimes that requires humility. He needs the rationalization to make sense of every single bad thing that has ever happened in his life; and in his way there he also tends to mix up one sore spot with the other, like they're all this elaborate multi-step prank destiny sprung on him, like every single other person in his life has been Lowkey Conspiring Against Him, so you can eventually agree to this:

Humans suck, right? We agree humans suck, right, guys? I mean wouldn't we love it if humans didn't suck? Thats Why I Came Up With A Solution!! THE NEURALINK. - Viktor. (note: whenever there's a mention of the student body, swap it with 'Jayce' to see how the motivation builds up. Viktor makes an effort to omit him whenever possible anyway)

He's kind of at the end of his rope. This is his last ditch effort to build himself back up.

Generally speaking, the opposite goes for Jayce. He frontloads his statement with mentions of how he is a huge dipshit, unabashedly so, to get really at the meat of things: He thinks Viktor's preaching is fucking bogus, but the point is that guy used to be his friend. That guy used to be someone he knew! That guy was brilliant at what he did, even, but something went really terribly wrong down the line and it's frankly fucked up that it happened. But nobody really cares nor can they fully understand, because as Jayce previously stated, maybe everyone else is kind of fucking stupid, so he has to fix things on his own. (Jayce doesn't have any 'I stand for justice and righteousness and the american way,' comeback prepared to rebuke Viktor's speeches. That sentence could make him barf. He just has very strong feelings about where the line is drawn, and he’s not going to wait for the worst case scenario before doing something.)

I do think that more than anything else, It’s important (and telling) that both of their bios admit to them being deeply hurt by their falling-out. Jayce calls it ‘growing more insular’, Viktor calls it ‘traumatic’, there are attempts to patch things back up on either side (even if a bit tilted, even if the propositions don’t work) Viktor regrets trusting anyone at all, so he covers it up with detachment. Jayce regrets not having enough faith to communicate anything, when he could have, so he tries his best to own up to every present or imagined failure in his way towards improvement.

Of course Viktor would describe Jayce as inconvenient. Viktor is one of the many perceived past failures Jayce is desperately trying to do damage control for. And if he *can’t* change Viktor’s mind, well. At least Jayce can stand in his way and be really, really annoying.

#Jayvik #Vikjayce #jayce giopara #viktor league of legends #jayce league of legends #Viktor lol #Jayce lol #Lesgue of legends #Legends of runeterra #Hexposts #meta tag #LOR #'legends of runeterra is arguably a side canon' Yes But none of the LOR content pertaining to vkjc directly contradicts their concepts #If anything it is literally the closest we get to character-world integration for them #And they are both depicted as considerably more put together than the immediate chaos of their bios (thanks to LOR being set After All that

[swiftfootedachilles]

hiiii achilles!!!!!!! how are you today? i miss your gallavich hot takes so do you have something in mind? have a good day 🌷

well apparently my big gallavich hot take is them having a jewish wedding 😭

okay. hmmm, actual unpopular hot takes? i gotchu

i want more intersex headcanons (that are well-researched and not fetishizing intersex people!). i want more t4t mlm gallavich. and i DEFINITELY want more t4t trans!mickey nonbinary!ian gallavich. because amab people are just as transgender as anyone else even if they dont take hormones or drastically change their appearance or change their name. nonbinary people arent women lite and men lite, theyre nonbinary. and i think nonbinary!ian is so slay

ian does not enjoy bottoming. even when he consented to doing it with trevor, he didnt actually like it. he simply tolerated it

when staying with the gallaghers, ian and mickey are very brazen about their sex life and dont try to stay quiet or even close their door sometimes, BUT they wont fuck in common areas like the kitchen and living room unless it was on the couch and they were 1000% sure there was NO chance of any of the kids walking in on them. they wouldnt traumatize liam or franny like that (stfu s5 doesnt count bc they knew liam was too young to have memories yet 😭 (speaking of, why does nobody ever talk about the fact that liam was 2 years old for like 3 whole years 😭😭))

their "security" business as it is in the finale isnt very sustainable. it literally started as money laundering, and ian didnt know. i think he eventually finds out by accident thru kev or vee what mickeys original "security business" plan was, and he gets super pissed. but i think they could very easily turn it into a legal business. we see them starting to do that, by working with real dispensaries instead of the shady illegal one kev and vee have in the bar. nevertheless, id like to read more future fics where they grow or adapt the business, and even move on to a new business altogether! theyre not exactly the career-having type. i think change over time actually helps stabilize them

THEY NEED TO PAINT THAT FUCKING AMBULANCE. ITS STOLEN. WHY DONT THEY EVER PAINT IT ALL BLACK OR SOMETHING?? WHERE DID THEY GET THE NEW PLATES. DID THEY EVEN CHANGE THE PLATES?? the s4 writers would never let a scam have so many plot holes 😔 they wouldve SHOWED us mickey and his brothers getting new plates for the truck

ian gets a tattoo for mickey. youre telling me that after the surprise anniversary party, you think ian WOULDNT get mickey somehow immortalized on his body? WRONG. he definitely does. i dont think its his name over his heart. maybe something small on his wrist? or M on his ring finger💜 thats a fav headcanon of mine

they dont start a family until close to 40. the longer theyre married, the more they realize they have to catch up on. learning to live together long-term, paying off debts and bills, moving, vacations, reconnecting with old friends and family, being there for liam where theu couldnt for their other siblings when they were liam's age, watching their nieces and nephews often to gain more caretaking and parenting skills, medical issues, family emergencies. theres just a lot that takes up their time, and they become very comfortable being two before they ever try to become three

they nonseriously say shit like "i want a divorce" but they NEVER mean it. even when one says it as a joke or like in s11e3, the other will ask "did you really mean that? do you really want a divorce? do you think we'll ever get one?" and they end up having a rare super serious heart-to-heart about it. about what they think the future might hold - or at least, what they want it to hold. the longer they are with each other the more stable their relationship becomes. bickering is less common, big fights are less explosive and violent, and they learn to become comfortable with silence

#asks #anonymous #🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 #gallavich #gallavich headcanons #shameless #happy Sunday and happy st paddys day!!!!!

[puppyocto]

ok hi im writing the evo jimmy and martyn thoughts in here because i don't trust the tumblr replies stupid character limit. (please bare with me ive rewritten this like eight times trying to make it make sense)

so around the middle of the series the server members fight the ender dragon and get separated for awhile (according to jimmy he hadn't seen martyn "in three weeks" but alot of the people also assumed he was. Perma Dead which seems like a short amount of time to accept that a missing person was dead but sure man whatever).

martyn shows back up a little after jimmy does and jimmy builds a new base for them, to which martyn expresses relief because (i think this is the exact quote but no promises) "i can't live alone, i don't know how to cook or anything like that--"

they give themselves a new team name and everything and it seems like things are gonna go back to normal. except they dont? martyn shows up noticeably less and less in jimmy's videos after this point until the end where he only turns up for big group events. he's not like. Rude to jimmy or anything and i guess if you're willing you can make the argument they're still living together and just not hanging out in the videos we see but to me it's kind of a massive jump going from the beginning of jimmy's evo where martyn was always there.

and please bare with me here because. alot of this is based on pre-formed thoughts from how he acts in the life series. but martyn is very much someone who needs to play the role of provider in a relationship otherwise he feels like he's not "good enough" and detaches himself. in my mind it's like. up to this point him and jimmy were always happy to play this "you lead, i follow" dynamic until the dragon fight makes him realise that jimmy doesn't Need him to survive and it scares him off a little bit. ++ something something about the snowy mountain "slapped around" conversation and martyn taking the initiative to open up to jimmy again when he recognizes that jimmy needs help (but reacting badly when jimmy doesn't respond the way he wants)

so what im saying is essentially i think jimmy/martyn isn't a. Bad relationship so to speak but I don't think it was necessarily sustainable (at least not with the dynamic they were in) and jimmy is not only never prompted to fight for his own independence (because he never needed to with martyn, like w/ the xbox/ps thing lmao) but he is shown that (albeit not directly) dependence on your partner is Good and if you drift too far emotionally/physically/etc then they'll just stop talking to you ✌️ (because jimmy would never assume something like that is his beloved's issue, it's always him that's the problem and even if he doesn't believe so during evo I'd think that thought pattern being reinforced in everything after would make him retroactively believe that)

sorry uhhhhhh tldr yeah i agree with you

This is so interesting I love this so much. It’s really interesting that Martyn suggests he’s dependent on Jimmy and then seems to slowly abandon Jimmy. I don’t have a lot to say but I will definetely be using this to inform my Jimmy analysis

#by the way I feel so cool getting this analysis in me askbox #jimmy solidarity

[borderline-culture-is]

Hi, this is a long ask. I am not diagnosed with anything, but Ive been thinking that I might have bpd. I started self harming at 9 yo, and was given ssri and antipsychotics to treat the symptoms, because i was too young to be diagnosed. Three years ago I moved countries, and I was so stressed that I literally ragequit talking all my medications, because I couldn’t sustain importing it from my country. Follow two horrible years of withdrawal, where I kept having derealization episodes, panic attacks, delusions followed by crying spells that lasted for hours, inability to maintain any relationships at all, I was incredibly angry and abusive to my mother, all that fun stuff. For the first year I refused to get any therapy because I thought they didn’t care about me and didn't want to settle for that, and the second year I was so crushed that if a fucking rock would listen (metaphorically), I would break down to it. Still not getting much support atm because being underage in an unfamiliar system makes it really hard to know what to do.

I only shook out of this state in the beginning of this school year, when my teacher called the cops on me for self-harming. I started working on regulating my emotions, meditating, and just accepting that I am the weird one for feeling this way and learning not to blame or burden other people. I also started noticing that my whole live ive only had FPs, and not a lot of genuine close relationships (I feel like I depend on them for my satisfaction, always feel betrayed for not being closer, but also feeling hesitant to even call them a friend). Before I kinda just assumed that everyone felt the same way, and that I was pathetic for feeling dependent and lonely. I also noticed that I have horrible episodic memory loss, I have to exclusively rely on other people or recorded evidence to shape any perception of my past.

I think, to an extent, my other traits have cancelled out some of my symptoms: I never lashed out or argued with my classmates because I was too scared that they would leave me, so instead I forced myself to act in the most mild way possible; I do have black and white thinking towards new people, but I make myself ignore it because I understand that it is my fault and I am being unreasonable; I never acted impulsively because I was too depressed or too scared to be proactive in any way at all.

My biggest issue with self-diagnosing is that I have never had any traumatic experiences. I come from a caring family, and, although I still blame my mom for feeling unfulfilled and neglected, there isn’t anything my parents really did wrong. She did as much as she could and I feel guilty for resenting her. I don’t remember any of my childhood, but it is completely reasonable to assume that nothing ever happened that would count as traumatic.

My point is, I have already either developed some coping mechanisms, or have come to accept that I will always feel misunderstood and unhappy. Even if I do have some kind of a disorder, I am unsure whether I should even try to get diagnosed in the first place. If I do, this would mean that my whole life is thrown out of the window with a diagnosis like that on my medical chart. It would negatively impact my human rights, my employability, my independence, all those things I really can’t afford to compromise, being an immigrant and trans. But at the same time, I just really want to find out what the hell is wrong with me, to feel understood and to have some support on how to live a normal life.

Yeah I guess the main purpose of this ask is to vent to someone who understands, and to ask for your opinion and advice on whether you think I have a disorder and if I should attempt to get it diagnosed.

--☀️🎣anon

okay. even if you dont think you have any trauma, theres still a lot of factors that could contribute to it. i think its also worth mentioning that you said you cant really remember your childhood, so it does leave some room for trauma that you either may not remember or just might not see as traumatic. and i also think that feeling neglected as a kid could do some damage, even if its unintentional. sometimes parents hurt their kids without realizing, and it doesnt invalidate the way that you feel about it!!

as for diagnosis, i think its okay for you to self-diagnose, as there are a lot of difficulties and struggles that comes with being diagnosed. i think it really depends on whether or not you personally see it as worth all of the potential trouble that it can bring. i do think that your symptoms are valid, and i can see a lot of hem as lining up with BPD. if you're really doubting, i dont think downloading a copy of the DSM-5 would be a bad idea, since it's what professionals usually reference from anyway.

regardless of whether or not you choose to get diagnosed, you and your struggles are valid!!! as someone who has also experienced BPD symptoms since we were young, we definitely feel for you. if you definitely think you are borderline, then i believe you are valid as long as you dont mean any harm, and i am pretty sure that you dont :]. we genuninely wish for the best for you, and we hope that your situation and overall well-being gets better soon 🫶 (/p)

- oliver

#not culture #advice #bpd questions #vent #- ☀️🎣

[angelicarchon]

about human-gardener diplomatic relations -- spoiler warning?

thinking about how little the gardeners seem to interact in the colony after the events of the game....

yes, they agreed to let the humans stay and even gave them another area to "settle" after a while but they dont really interact with them? they should all be friends (this is said largely in jest. i know theres more to their relationship than this... but cmooonnnn).

i think the idea of the humans becoming a species that works in tandem with sustaining the planet's lifeforms and helping the gardeners restore the planet to its former health is amazing??

its not only poetic to fix something they didn't break, but theyre repairing vertumna in a way that they never couldve repaired earth (? at least according to one of the bad endings).

and sure i can see the humans being unwilling to help at first (either more worried about establishing and protecting themselves first or still slightly untrusting of the gardeners), but also wouldnt the best way to ensure humanity's future on a planet THAT IS MEANT TO BE DIFFERENT FROM EARTH (in that it should be a fresh, clean slate for humans on ALL levels) be to preserve it and protect it in a way humans never collectively did on earth??

on that note, i wish there was more of the gardeners SHOWING the humans how to best take care of the planet too?? like yeah theres a clearcut way for them to pave for themselves, but if they want the best results, learning from the beings native to the planet sure would help.

#i was a teenage exocolonist #iwatex #spoilers i thimk #sorry if someone has said these things before on here #i was pondering my orb

[sevenrs]

if you're gonna talk about your ocs unprompt let me prompt you to talk about them

seriously i wanna read anything on ur ocs i am very interested

thank you for the interest! my guys mean a lot to me so it's very touching someone else would want to hear about them

i usually work on my ocs one at a time. and it is flight of the crows' turn

i dont have a proper reference outside of my iterator lineup so this is the best picture i have (that i did draw)

crows IS named after the jhariah song of the same name. im kind of obsessed with jhariah's music and i wanted an iterator inspired it. flight of the crows is also a kickass name. design is also inspired by the colors that he uses in his albums and i do have art of crows (and lost. but i will get to her later) using album palette

crows is one of the older iterators out of my guys (not one of the first few ever made but more like. 2nd-3rd gen iterator, maybe a bit higher depending on how many generations there really were)

crows' city was home to a large population of engineers, which helped improve and revise newer iterator designs. naturally, crows would lean about this as well, and became very invested in the subject

they were eventually skilled enough to alert their ancients to problems before the automated systems they made, or routine checks by the ancients. crows became pretty self-sustaining while they were around

but with them gone, they continued their learning by themselves, designing their own mechanical blueprints in simulations or using their puppets' hands to work with real materials. i imagine their can seems a little dangerous at times, with tools and spare metal and wires, but it is kept organized like pearls are (having control of gravity and all)

personality wise, crows is very reserved. quiet type, really doesn't speak unless prompted to by someone else. when prompted, has very detailed and seemingly well-thought out, calm responses. a great listener, but they tend to keep people at arms length

everyone except 2 people

before the ancients died, crows made contact with an iterator of a different local group (meatcatt's) lost in the dark.

lost's ancients discovered that she was build right on top of a huge pool of void fluid, and was being converted into more of a drillsite. lost was expected to come up with efficient solutions for how to do this, but she wasn't familiar with void drills.

and therefore asked for help in broadcasts. crows responded because they like building things and the two of them worked together on the projects, and also began to naturally know each other beyond the projects. and then were also gay

one day, lost requested assistance with enhancing herself. and crows, a mechanic, naturally agreed. they made and passed blueprints to lost in order to alter her puppet, and eventually their whole structure

however lost's ancients did not take kindly to this at all. and they decided to cull lost before she got very out of control. i imagine it is something crows feels a lot of guilt about, and it is very bottled up

their relationship with my other iterator, chains by summer, was a very close friendship. maybe almost dating but im going to say friends. i think crows often gave advice to summer when his ancients were overbearing or got into spats that they made him decide. i think the others in crows' local group would also come to them for advice, but summer made an attempt to get to know crows better as a person. i imagine he was very persistent on asking how they were feeling and what they were up to in their projects. and crows would share, also choosing to trust summer with a bit of their own feelings. mostly.

there was one project that they kept a secret from them-- and it honestly ended their friendship

with no more ancients, their structures were dying. it would eventually fall, killing some of the older model iterators and leaving the newer ones to rot in a fate worse than death. crows wanted to see if they could escape their rotting body, and live simply as the puppet. it was a very risky ordeal, and crows, knowing summer, knew that he wouldnt take kindly to an idea that had a very high chance of sudden death regardless

so as they were making preparations for their plan, they stopped talking to summer, saying that they were being distracted from their work, and the two of them should just stop.

and after cutting it off with summer, and the rest of their local group, they would lure creatures with dexterous hands (mainly scavengers and slugcats) to find them scrap metal pieces and wire so they could build their own, autonomous tools that they could write code to automatically preform actions (can't reach their umbilical with their hands!)

and eventually it would work. crows needed to learn how to walk and balance with gravity involved, but they could leave their can. as long as they were around centipedes or had electric spears to charge

crows would then go on a journey to free the iterators of their own local group, as well as the local group nearby where lost used to be

summer was the last iterator they freed because they felt awkward. which was really torturous for summer because suddenly all of his iterator pals stopped talking to him and that boy lives on social interaction day to day

#oc: fotc #asks.txt #soaricarus #gahha thank you again #are skirts appropriate for metalworking. likenly not but they do what they want #crows uses they/any pronouns #so mainly they but anything works