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lovers-rck · 6 months

Note

fic rec where someone from the club hosts a party and reader and hazel go and they get a little drunk and pj locks them in a room together until they admit their feeling to each other and things get a little hot n heavy :)

intentional lowercase ;) thank you!

also i did a very vague correction so forgive me if there are any mistakes! english is not my first language.

☆

"seven minutes in heaven!" you hear pj yell and run away, except that you and hazel weren't playing that game.

hazel chukled and went to open the door, almost tripping over a ball of dirty cloth. She grabbed the door handle and tried to open.

the first time doesn't work, but she knows she is a little bit drunk and maybe she was opening the wrong way. the second time doesn't work either, and that's when she starts to worry.

"it's locked" she says "pj locked the door"

"what? " you say "let me try" the room is dimly lit, highlighting the worried features that took over hazel's face.

you grab and try to open the door. one, two, three times later you realized that, in fact, is locked. pj locked the door and ran away for who knows how much time.

"im sure this is one of her pranks" hazel looks at you, her eyes a little sleepy from the alcohol "she will come back in a few minutes"

but you are impacient. three minutes has passed. you look at the posters in Annie's walls, all with a inspirational quote about women and printed pictures of Simone de Beauvoir. five minutes. hazel groans in protest, looking at her dirty shoes and thinking why she didn't clean them before going out, she's embarrassed now. seven minutes pass. eight. nine. ten. eleven. twelv...

"pj!" hazel screams "pj let us out please! i already apologized to you when i said that you only created the club to fuck cheerleaders! please!"

for the next ten seconds the only things you hear is hazel's voice, she's loud and desperate, her hands hitting the wooden door for so long that you almost find a rhythm.

eventually hazel gives up, and in a matter of seconds all the loud noises that she made earlier end up causing her a big headache. she feels less drunk than before, but the after feeling isn't so much better. then she looks at you, sitting in the floor, your legs crossed like a kid and your eyes resting. you were a chill drunk, hazel was a chaotic one.

she find a very strange feeling looking at you, something growing in her stomach. hazel never saw you the way she was seeing you now, always admiring you in secret, always playing the fool when you catch her eye in between classes or practice. she knew that this wasn't product of the alcohol, and that scared her.

so she tried and is currently trying to ignore that little feeling growing inside of her, that little tiny and obviously-not-romantic feeling that became stronger everyday.

okay yes. she was in love with you. so what?

it was not a big deal. it's not like at the very sight of you she becomes dumb and slow and words come out of her mouth like vomit without thinking. it's not like she freeze everytime you touch her or grab her hand. it's not like she is completely, hopelessly, in love with you.

okay it was bad.

"we have to get out of here" hazel says "I'll become anxious and you know i left therapy last week!"

so you get up and grabs hazel's hand. you guide her to sit in Annie's bed, standing in front of her and demand her to breath with you.

inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

you don't let go of her hand at any time, and neither does hazel. you look at her, her eyes are closed and her lips swell as she exhales the air as you taught her. you look at her and the sudden impulse to scream what you feel for her invades you.

but you two are friends, and friends don't do that. friends help each other without expecting anything in return. but you realized that you didn't want to be hazel's friend when after every shared moment you expected something in return, something to give you a hint, something to answer the doubt that has been in your heart for a long time.

¿did she look at you with those eyes in purpose? ¿did she caressed your cheek in accident that one time? ¿did she makes jokes about couples with you just for the laughs? ¿did she likes you?

the last question is the worst, you consider.

"thank you" hazel says, and you smile slightly in return. always waiting for something else.

and you think she gaves you something in return when you feel her thumb caressing your hand. she stares at your intertwined hands, and so do you.

shyness takes over your bodie, and the giggly and playful hazel disappears. it was always easier to pretend that nothing happened, that all the touches were accidents and all the looks meant nothing. to pretend that they were just meaningless feelings.

but neither of you can do that anymore when you feel hazel pull your hand slowly, bringing your body closer to hers but leaving a space, leaving open the door of regret. you close that door the moment your free hand caresses her face and she smiles at you.

"can i..."

"yes" you say "please"

she obey and guide your bodie to bend down slightly for her to kiss you. you inhale sharply when her lips makes contact with yours for the first time, and suddenly a scared feeling takes over your body

but hazel grabs your face and you understand that there is nothing to fear when you are with her.

her kiss is delicate and slow, but hungry. she grabs your legs and sits you in her lap, not getting enough of you. her mind cannot comprend what is happening, but is unable to stop it. her fingertips swim across your skin, trying to memorize every feeling, every texture that is so new to her.

she fears that she might be a little rough or fast with you, that maybe she crossed the invisible line. she freeze and for a moment she just stay there, her forehead against yours, breathing and trying to process the last five minutes.

"did i do something wrong?" you murmured

"no, no, you did nothing wrong"

"what's wrong?"

she swallows and hold your hand "nothing is wrong"

"don't be scared"

"im not scared" hazel replies, hating how you read her so easily. you raise you eyebrow "okay maybe i am a little scared"

"of what?"

you heard how the girls are laughing at something downstairs.

"i don't know" she exhales "im afraid you won't be my friend anymore after this"

"we were kissing and you were all worried about our friendship?

"yes!" she replies "your friendship is very important to me"

"i know" you gently put a strand of hair behind her ear "your friendship is important to me too. im not gonna ignore you after this if that's what you fear hazel"

"okay" she nodds "okay"

you laugh slightly "okay"

and you kiss her again, more desperate than before. hazel quickly responds to your body and grabs your waist, pushing you towards her.

you move slightly in her lap and she gasp. the strap of your shirt falls off your shoulder and hazel leaves your lips to find a home on the skin of your neck and shoulder. she kiss and bite the flesh, your breathing becoming a little louder.

in a bold act, you grab hazel's hands and place them in your breasts, hoping that she would catch the sign.

and she does, so she moves you shirt up and start massaging your flesh, you nipples alrrady hard to receive hazel's hands. you whimper lightly when you feel hazel's tongue, leaving a trail of kisses all over your tits.

her hand starts going down when you both heard the lock of the door and a scream

"oh my god!" pj screams and hazel cover your breast with her hands in panic "oh my god! guys! guys! oh my god"

pj jumps and start running away, her screams invading the house

"it worked! guys it worked!" pj screams downstairs "the were sucking each other's titties!"

and all the girls scream with her.

#hazel callahan #bottoms movie #hazel callahan x reader #one shot #bottoms 2023 #ruby cruz #save willow #havana rose liu #josie bottoms #pj bottoms #isabel bottoms

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roses-for-rosalyn · 9 months

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i desperately need dealer!ellie and her sweet girlfriend (who is also totally a stoner (;). maybe if reader went out of town for a while and ran out of weed, so she got some off of a dealer/from a dispensary in that town. then reader gets home and ellie would be (mostly jokingly) horrified by the weed that wasn't hers, and so on :3

(sorry if this does not make sense, english is not my first language and i've never done an ask before so im a bit nervous :])

Rahhh what an amazing idea!! I'm so honored I was your first ask, also don't be nervous to approach my account this is a safe space for anyone darling 💕 Sorry it took so long to respond!!

the people who like my Ellie content come 'ere, this is a treat for you.

word count: 3.7 k

minors dni (please bro)

cw: sprinkle of fluff (haven't had a productive therapy session in a loong time), mutual masterbation sort of, neck kissing, drug use 🍃, established relationship, dealer! Ellie, strap on use (r! receiving), teasing, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, no use of y/n (lmk if I missed anything)

You stand before a familiar rust colored door, contemplating for a moment before you rap your knuckles against the hardwood. You were visiting your girlfriend for the first time in a few weeks–which felt more like a few months. You had gone back home to visit family for a while, and to meet up with some old friends. Naturally being with family was incredibly stressful and you were relieved to be able to return to your girlfriend for multiple reasons: 1) she has weed 2) you were extremely sexually frustrated after being without her for a few weeks 3) you simply missed her company (which you would never explicitly admit to her considering she was a pain in the ass half the time). You had been texting Ellie every day and she never failed to turn the conversation from something wholesome into something incredibly dirty. You would go from talking about your day to shaking, nervous hands trying to type a response without dropping your phone. She could have you aching for her in mere moments simply by stringing together a strategic set of words. It was truly a gift, an oddly specific gift that you were incredibly grateful for when you were separated from her.

You had told her almost everything about your visit. You failed to mention that being with family got so stressful you met up with your old plug from highschool. You only bought like three prerolls, but for some odd reason you felt like you were being unfaithful to your drug dealer girlfriend. It was something so incredibly silly, but the action just felt…weird. She enjoyed being possessive a lot of the time, mostly because it was fun for her (particularly in bed). Someone might flirt with you at a bar and she would take you home and not let you come until you had said you were hers over and over and over. A combination of nerves and excitement invaded your body every time you thought about telling her. You would imagine her reaction and an ache would immediately grow between your legs. But then another side of you wondered if it might actually bother her, and maybe she wouldn’t react that way. It was a gamble and you were unsure if you felt like risking it.

The sound of the door opening disrupts your train of thought. As soon as you see Ellie’s face your worries dissolve, you leap towards her, wrap your arms around her tightly and kiss her. You were both smiling so hard your teeth gently knocked together. You lean back, taking her in, you had missed her perfectly placed freckles and familiar green eyes. You kiss her again and again and again, pecking your lips against hers. She moves away from your lips, cups your face and plants gentle kisses on your forehead, cheeks and nose. You giggle and scrunch up your face at the feeling, your cheeks starting to warm.

She breaks away and rests her forehead against yours, “Hi.” she says breathlessly.

“Hi.” you reply, giggling. “I missed you.”

“I know, I’m an incredibly amazing person to spend time with, anyone with a brain would miss me.” She smirks, almost challenging you to retaliate.

Your eyes narrow, “you know what?’ You scoff, ‘I know you missed me,” a grin forms on your face before you continue, “In fact I have proof of exactly how much you missed me right in my phone.” You lean in, whispering in her ear, “And if you don’t admit it we won’t do anything we talked about while I was away.”

Ellie smiles, “Ok, Ok I missed you,” she looks down, “you and your perfect tits.” You pull away from her and playfully slap her on the shoulder, poorly pretending to be offended–your giggling gave you away. you could tell she meant it when she said she missed you because she was looking at you with such adoration in her eyes you think you might explode.

Ellie finally walks away from you to close and lock the door before gently grabbing you by the hand to lead you to the couch. Her hand is so warm and familiar, you squeeze it softly, savoring the feeling.

She looks back at you, mischief in her eyes “Wanna smoke?” she asks.

“God, I thought you’d never ask.” You smile, giddy as ever. You eagerly sit down on the couch next to her, close enough so the sides of your thighs touch. You were more needy than usual and Ellie took notice.

Your eyes move to the coffee table which has various weed related objects strewn about. Ellie had clearly been smoking a bit before you had gotten here. You watch her hands as she leans over the coffee table and begins to expertly roll and pack a joint with her slender fingers. You get lost in her movements, studying the way her hands move so carefully and purposefully.

She finishes rolling the joint and offers it to you with both her hands, head bowed as if she was bestowing a wondrous gift to you. You giggle at her amusing antics and gently take the blunt from her hands, pinching it between your thumb and pointer finger. Ellie is quick to grab the lighter off the coffee table as you bring it to your lips. You wait for her to burn the tapered end off before wrapping your lips around it and deeply inhaling. Thick smoke fills your mouth, flows into your throat and lungs. The feeling is warm and familiar, ever since you started dating Ellie, smoking stopped burning and started feeling more tingly. It was a sort of comforting feeling- knowing your body would eventually relax and your thoughts would become muted. Your eyes instinctively close as you breathe out, a smile forming on your lips.

“Wow, you really missed smoking huh?” Ellie laughs at your dramatic display.

“Well I didn’t exactly go completely without it, but I missed your shit, this is actually good.” You look down, sigh and take another small hit. You offer the joint back to Ellie and look up at her, trying to read her expression. Her appearance doesn’t give anything away as she takes it from you and takes a long hit. Her eyes stay on yours as she exhales, all you can do is stare back, your eyes frantically searching hers for any hint of anger or jealousy.

“Where’d you get the other shit from?” Her tone is completely flat. “Wasn’t from me was it?” she pinches her eyebrows together, trying to recall if she sent you off with anything.

“No, no. I got really stressed and I was desperate for any type of relief sooo I messaged my old plug from highschool.” You let out a short laugh. Ellie hands the spliff back to you calmly.

“Was it any good?” She tilts her head and watches as you take a long hit before answering.

“Pretty good, but nothing compared to your shit babe.” You smile as you exhale and hand the joint back to her. She takes it and puts it out, her expression remaining scarily blank. She was obviously planning something in that brain of hers.

She hums and nods looking down at the coffee table. She sits up and finally looks at you, pats your thigh and mumbles “come ‘ere.” You do as she says and adjust yourself so you're straddling her. “Cheating on your drug dealer who is also your girlfriend huh?” She shakes her head, “Bad idea.” Her expression turns into a wicked smirk.

You laugh “No I-”

She interrupts, “Uh, uh, I don’t want to hear any excuses.”

“But I-”

“You’ll have to make it up to me princess.” Her voice lowers, a suggestive tone lacing it. The way she said it, dominance dripping from her words sent butterflies straight to your cunt.

“Whatever you want, Ellie.” you say in your most submissive voice, hoping it will convince her to take mercy on you. You know she’s gonna make you ache tonight one way or another. She smirks and kisses you. She opens up your mouth with her tongue, the kiss this time was different; it was hungrier, her tongue roughly massages against yours and she groans at the feeling. You move your hands down to the hem of her sweatshirt and tug. You break away for a moment to throw her sweatshirt across the room leaving her in a white tank top. She grabs the hem of your t-shirt and does the same, leaving you bare for her.

You hadn’t worn a bra in anticipation for tonight and it definitely paid off. Ellie wasn’t expecting it and stared for a moment, your nipples beginning to harden from being exposed to the cool air in her apartment. You can’t help but giggle at her ogling, but the giggle is quickly cut off once she latches her mouth onto your sensitive nipple. Her warm tongue swirls around your hard bud and you gasp at the feeling, threading your fingers into her hair. She brings up one of her hands to begin playing with the other breast, pinching and rolling your nipple between her thumb and index finger. The feeling was even more intense from the weed, her actions sent arousal straight to your cunt. She takes her time, licking and sucking until she’s satisfied. You're a panting mess after mere moments, mumbling breathless obscenities as she has her way with you. She moves to the other nipple and you have begun grinding against her to try and relieve the ache that had now grown painful between your legs. She removes her mouth, before moving up your body. She kisses along your clavicle taking her time, sucking and licking as she moves. She made her way to your neck and latched on to the sensitive skin causing you to moan. She is slow and methodical, purposefully trying to mark you up. You didn’t mind, you kind of liked the bruises she would leave behind. Your heightened senses deliciously exaggerate the feeling of her warm tongue on your skin, while also making the ache in your cunt almost unbearable considering everything was sensitive.

“Ellie please.” you whimper, wanting her to do anything to satiate your sore cunt.

“Please what, Princess?” She asks between kisses.

“Ellie” you whine out, frustrated beyond belief. She hums and grabs your thighs, wrapping them around her waist, then your arms to wrap them around her neck before standing up and walking you both to the bedroom. She continues teasing you with her tongue, touching you everywhere, but where you need her. She lowers you down to sit on the edge of the bed and you break away from her to back into the middle and lay down. She raises her eyebrows at your eagerness, but crawls on top of you and kisses you, her tongue intertwining with yours, her leg in between yours rising higher and higher… before she pulls back. You frown and tilt your head in confusion.

Ellie smirks and raises her eyebrows, “Oh, you thought I was gonna make this easy?” She lets out a dry laugh at your desperation. She finds it cute, but not cute enough to give in and give you what you want.

“But I just got back-”

“And what did you do while you were gone?” She tilts her head questioning you. “You gave me a reason to make this difficult for you,” she answers her own question before leaning in so close you can feel her breath tickle the shell of your ear and whispers, “And you know how much I love an excuse to make things difficult for you.” The bass of her voice invertebrates through your body sending tingles down your spine.

“F-fine,” You try to sound confident, but she has you in pieces underneath her. “What do you want?” At your question Ellie sits up kneeling over you.

“Get up.” You sit up slowly as she gets off the bed and you follow. You stand in front of her, chest heaving from arousal, eyes shining with desperation and Ellie almost scraps her whole plan for the night. She grabs the hem of your shorts and gently lowers them past your hips, letting them slip to the floor. She does the same with your underwear, all the while you stand still, allowing her to have her way with you. Ellie unbuttons her jeans and lowers them to the floor, her tank top following. You can’t help but stare, her sports bra doesn’t do much to conceal her hardened nipples, her toned abs and arms practically made you drool. She rests her hands on your hips and takes a moment to admire your bare body. “So beautiful, baby.” Ellie breathes out before planting a gentle kiss to your shoulder. You smile at her and she smiles back, then she walks towards the head of the bed, grabbing one of the pillows and putting it in the middle of the bed. You're confused until she gestures for you to sit on the bed. Oh.

You crawl on to the bed and straddle the pillow, facing the head of the bed. Ellie moves to the top of the bed, gently grabs your hips and encourages you to lower down on to the pillow, you put your hands on top of hers and start to sink down. Once your sensitive clit contacts the soft fabric of the pillow you let out a small gasp. Subconsciously, you start rocking back and forth on the pillow, so needy and overstimulated you couldn’t hold back anymore. Your eyes start to close from the delicious pressure on your clit.

“That’s it princess, just like that.” You let out a little whine and continue rutting against the pillow, chasing relief. After a moment you realized the pillow wasn’t going to be enough, you needed more. You move your hand from Ellies and start to bring it down between your legs. She grabs your hand and tuts “uh, uh you’re going to move just like this,” She nods to you, “until I say. Not any faster, not any slower.”

“But-”

“You didn’t seem to want me enough,” She shrugs, “so I’m gonna make you need me.” You let out a quiet moan at her words. She was intoxicating when she was like this, you loved it and hated it at the same time.

Ellie lets go of your hips and you do as she says, keeping a steady rhythm against the pillow. Once she watches you for a moment she leans back onto the pillows one leg bent, the other straightened out in front of her. And she just…watches, staring you right in the eyes, she doesn’t plan on touching you or helping you in any way. Fine if she was going to watch, you were going to give her a show. A show good enough to get her to give in–hopefully. You begin letting out little whines and gasps as you move fluidly against the pillow. You maintain eye contact as you let your moans build, your clit being teased from the fabric. She groans “Keep moving just like that Princess.” Your eyes follow Ellie’s hand as it slowly starts to move between her legs, palming at her clothed cunt.

The action immediately sent a wave of arousal to your needy pussy. “Ffuck, Ellie.” you whine out, letting your head fall back and eyes close. Your moans grow a little louder, pleasure slowly building in your stomach. You look back at Ellie, her chest is heaving as her hand moves a little faster against the fabric of her underwear. She is looking down, watching you fuck the pillow, both of you longing for the pillow to be Ellie. You decide to boldly move one of your hands to your breast, cupping and massaging the soft skin. She doesn’t protest, only watches you in awe. You could tell she was on the verge of giving in. You start moving your fingers around your nipple teasing the sensitive bud, before pinching and rolling it between your fingers. You moan loudly at the sensation and begin to move faster against the pillow. Ellie gets up quickly and grabs her strap from the night stand. You let out a sigh and halt your motions, feeling relief flow through your body.

Ellie looks back at you “Did I say you could stop?”

“N-no but-” You stop talking once Ellie tilts her head, silently challenging you. You start moving again, whining a little bit at the feeling of your sore clit rubbing against the soft fabric. You watch as Ellie adjusts the harness. Taking her time to secure it, you would almost be pissed off if you had any room for any emotion besides complete and utter desperation.

Finally Ellie moves behind you on the bed, she caresses your shoulders, moving her hands up and down and kisses the side of your neck. You are still desperately humping the pillow as she said, waiting desperately for her to say the word. “Ellie please.” The desperation in your voice is pathetic, but you were reduced to a puddle from her literal torture.

“Come and then I’ll let you stop.” She whispers in your ear.

“Ellie I can’t, it’s not enough I need more please.” She moves her hands to your breasts and begins cupping and massaging the tender skin. Once she starts teasing your overstimulated nipples your head falls back on her shoulder and you moan her name. She starts sucking and kissing your neck and that was all you needed. The pleasure in your stomach finally started to build to a peak. You start rutting your hips faster, chasing your high.

“Come for me baby.” Ellie breathes into your ear. At her words your orgasm hits you, your pleasure coming to a satisfying peak after the relentless teasing. You buck against the pillow over and over, riding out your climax. “Good girl.” Ellie says as she continues teasing your nipples. When you start to come down Ellie immediately guides you so your upper body is laying against the bed, still straddling the pillow. She grabs the pillow and puts it underneath your hips, giving her a perfect view of your swollen, dripping cunt. You suddenly feel her fingers running up your slit, gathering your arousal, before shoving two fingers inside your soaked cunt. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, tightening around her fingers. “So perfect for me baby.” Ellie says before starting to move her fingers, curling them up against that perfect spongy spot inside of you. You moan as she moves her fingers in and out of you perfectly. She removes her fingers from you and you feel her begin to guide it against your soaked pussy, nudging your clit as she moves her hips forward. You moan into the sheets as she moves her hips back and forth a few times, grazing your clit each time. The strap was coated in your juices after mere moments. You were almost dripping down your thighs, clenching around nothing as Ellie teased you. She massaged the silicone cock, coating it with your arousal, before teasing your entrance with the very tip. You groan as it stretches your tight cunt. She moves slowly, opening you up with the thick black cock.

“Oh god.” you moan as she moves deeper into you.

“Relax for me baby. You can take it.” Ellie assures you. You relax, allowing her to sink all the way into your tight cunt. You whimper as she bottoms out, feeling a painfully pleasurable pressure in your pussy. She grabs your wrists and holds them together with one hand and places the other on your hip. She starts to fuck you mercilessly, not giving you any time to adjust, forcing a pathetic “fuckfuckfuck.” out of your swollen lips. Ellie begins grunting at every thrust from the effort, but keeps her pace. The harness was rubbing against her clit perfectly, her ache being soothed as well as yours.

“God I fuckin missed this pussy baby, missed using you however I wanted like this.” You moan at her words, you loved it when she used you however she wanted. “Such a good girl for me.” She begins moving faster, getting lost in her pleasure. She uses her grip on your wrists to pull her cock deeper into you, causing you to moan at every thrust. Ellie could tell you were already close.

“You can come as many times as you want, princess, but I’m not stopping until I’m done.” You started to come undone, your orgasm ripping through you as Ellie fucks you through it. Waves of pleasure wash over you and you moan so loudly, you are sure the neighbors heard, hell maybe the whole neighborhood. You start to come down, but Ellie doesn’t let up, you whine as she continues to pound into your overstimulated cunt. You whine out her name and she reaches under you to lift you upwards, your body flush against hers. She slowly moves her hand down your stomach, you can tell what she’s doing “Ellie I can’t-”

She pauses, “You can take it, give me one more baby.” You nod and she moves her hand to your clit and starts rubbing it in small controlled circles. She uses her other hand to tease your nipples and you’re already close again, muttering obscenities and letting your head rest on her shoulder. Ellie begins panting and moaning in your ear as she thrusts into you, reaching her high as well. Her hips start moving sloppily and she breathes out “Come for me.” before coming undone herself. You let go, your moans syncing with Ellie’s as her thrusts become slower and less controlled. Your body completely submerges into your pleasure, your hips rocking back into Ellie’s mindlessly. You can barely hold yourself up any more as pleasure washes over you. Ellie holds you against her as you lose your strength. She pulls out of you slowly and lowers you down to sit on your knees as she removes the strap, throwing it to the side. You turn around to face her and smile lazily, she smiles back and kisses you softly. She lowers you onto the bed as she continues kissing you. You collapse into the soft pillows, every bone in your body giving out.

“I missed you.” You barely manage to whisper.

“I missed you too.”

#the last of us #the last of us 2 #ellie williams #ellie x reader #ellie williams smut #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x reader #ellie smut #ellie x fem reader #ellie x you

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bravo4iscool · 3 months

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Could you maybe make a comfort one with Simon or Soap please? Like the reader has trauma and gets triggered by something and has a panic attack? If not that's okay! You don't have to! <33

but what if i did both👀? hehehehehehehe

this is an amazing idea! since you didn‘t mention if reader is civilian or military i‘ll go with military… but technically this could also be civilian lol

all i know about ptsd i know because one of the main characters of my favourite series (ray perry from seal team) struggled with ptsd after he was taken hostage. i’m in no way a expert about this whole topic or anything else…

reader‘s call sign is „venom“. and for the love of god idk how to imitate a scottish accent, so please don’t hate me cuz i didn‘t do it🧍🏼

btw IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG! i’m in my final 10 weeks of school and it’s so stressful😭😭

(masterlist)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

john „soap“ mactavish

soap didn‘t know that something was off. he suspected something—maybe—but he wasn‘t 100% sure. so, when you start to disassociate, your pupils dilating he at first wasn‘t sure how to act.

„ey, ey!“ he nudges your shoulder, a visible frown on his face. „venom? venom, hey!“ you don’t answer, your gaze darting around the room.

he waits another second, wondering if you’ll answer but then it clicks and he knows what’s going on. you’re having a ptsd period.

he carefully stepped away from you and looks around. he needs to find out what exactly triggered you. “i’m gonna step away for a second, okay?” he tells you, taking one step after the other.

your head twitches but you don’t answer, only stumble back a little bit. soap wasn‘t unfamiliar with ptsd, ghost suffered from it too, but he didn‘t know you had to fight it. you‘ve always acted to strong and put together, so what was your trigger?

„soap?“ your weak, rasp voice calls out for him and immediately he’s beside you again, his hand reaching out for you. „soap, don‘t go,“ you plead, your hands shaking when you grasp him, your knuckles white and your grip bruising. you choke out a, „don‘t leave me.“ and he promises he won‘t.

„i‘m here,“ he assures you, carefully and gently removing your hands from his arms and placing them around his waist so he can properly hug you. „i won‘t leave; ever.“

you sink into the hug, your hands crunching up his shirt with your grip. you were save, no? you were safe…

you weren’t…there. you were here; with soap. he was holding you, keeping you sane. you didn’t need to worry about anything.

he’d keep you safe.

simon “ghost” riley

the moment simon realizes you’re having another ptsd episode he’s beside you, his hand hovering over your cheek.

“stay w’me, venom,” he murmurs, his gaze searching for yours. “c’mon… stay w’me.”

when you make no sign to move he slowly exogenous his hand so it fully cups your cheek and he pulls you close.

your hands slightly tremble and you look at him with blown eyes. your breath is staggered and you feel this familiar yet unwanted rustling in your ears. you want it to stop.

“take deep breaths love,” simon instructs you as he cradles you hand in his to hold it against his chest. “j’st like i do.”

tears start to gather in your eyes while you try to focus on simon but your thoughts were screaming at you, dragging you down that hole you didn’t want to drown in.

“y’doin’ amazing,” he whispers in a gentle voice, his other hand pulling your heard against his chest with careful hands. “j’st like that. perfect.”

you let out a couple of chocked hiccups as you try to relax against simon’s body, doing all the tasks therapy taught you.

“‘m sorry,” you swallow in a voice rough from crying.

“no, none of that,” simon frowns. “y’doin’ exactly what y’were taught.” his one hand tightens over your that’s laying on his chest, his other he buries in your hair. with a careful movement he places his chin on top of your head.

“d’nt ever apologize f’havin’ problems,” he tells you in a quiet voice, his hold on you tightening.

he’d never let you go.

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dirtybitfic · 2 months

Text

Therapy pt.1

matt sturniolo x y/n

Story contains- language, talking about sexual fantasies and issues, kinks, therapy session.

Pink-you purple- Leslie your best friend. blue -matt. orange the receptionist

story line- you start therapy to help with issues you had with partners in the past and not knowing how to fix them and feeling like your not finding people who match your wants and needs in the bedroom.

Y/n pov-

I just got ready to head to my first sex therapy session. I'm honestly mortified I even have to do this in the first place but Leslie my best friend said it would be helpful.

One week ago..

y/n I love you but you really need to go to someone professional about this

no absolutely not . im not going to a random person to try and figure out my sex issues .

I'm serious it can be really beneficial ! do you want to suffer for the rest of your life with partners who won't give you what you want or do you want to talk to a trained therapist who can help you find the right way to find what you want and why you want it

ughh I don't know I just don't like talking to people I don't know about shit like this .

I know it makes you anxious but some of your fantasies are a bit... extravagant and this therapist might be able to help you understand why you want things like that you know find out the underlying details you might not see for yourself

okay you have a point there.. okay maybe ill go once and if I like it ill stick with it if not then I won't go back

Yeah what's the worst that could happen

I blame you if it goes to shit

yeah yeah whatever your so dramatic

Present time

Im not gonna lie i'm so nervous about this whole thing. I never liked therapy in general . I only like talking about my life with people I trust so talking to a stranger about my sex problems sounds like hell.

Maybe Leslies right though this could end well and I might enjoy it but ... probably fucking not.

I just pulled up to the building and parked in the parking deck I was already 9 minutes late since parking in down town L.A is horrible so obviously thats not helping my anxiety at all.

I made my way to the lobby of the 26 story building and took the elevator up to the 20th floor.

walking out I noticed the seating area was very spacious but also dull.

all the furniture was black and white . Everything looked so clean and pristine I was almost scared to touch anything. As I walked up to the reception desk the young woman noticed me and smiled.

Hey you must be y/n . Your here for the 7:00 appointment right?

yes hi im so sorry im late parking was a mess

no worries matts last appointment is running a little behind anyways.Take a seat and ill let you know when to head back

okay thank you

I took a seat on one of the black couches and scrolled on my phone trying to busy my mind

After about 10 more minutes a couple walked out of the long hallway looking very pissed off and on edge .

I averted my attention back to my phone to avoid awkward eye contact.

Y/n Matt is ready for you if you'd like to head back

okay thank you

I make my way down the long hallway slowly still unsure of going through with this or not.

I reach the doors and softly push one open and walk in .

A man who im guessing is matt is sitting in a chair at a desk facing out to the windows so I can only see the back of his head.

I softly clear my throat.

hi Mr.sturniolo im y/n

he jolts in his chair

Oh hi im sorry your so quiet I didn't hear you come in he says as he spins around to face you and your breathe catches in your throat .

He is the most attractive man you've ever seen . Dark hair with bright blue eyes, nice stubble and tattoos adorned his left arm. Maybe this won't be so bad

I hold eye contact not saying anything but smiling awkwardly.

oh sorry please have a seat and we can get started

I take a seat in the chair opposite to him and softy set my phone on my lap and purse on the ground.

so y/n what made you choose to come see me

umm well it was a suggestion my beat friend made she said that it might help me work out some things that I might not be seeing for my self

okay well lets start off with your relationship backgrounds . How many relationships have you had and how long were they

well i've only had two real relationships. The first one was when I was a sophomore in high school it was about 6 months and my second one was my during summer going into sophomore year of college it was about 3 months.

okay ... why would you say the first relationship didn't work out?

Umm I don't know . He was pretty verbally abusive and made me feel bad about myself . He closed me off From my friends and threw temper tantrums in front of my parents which was very embarrassing but after a while I got fed up with the way he treated me even after I asked him to fix some things that I didn't like and he didn't so I broke up with him.

okay and how was the sexual relationship with him

I mean pretty good id say its one of the only reasons I stuck around for so long

okay so what made it good .?What are some things he did that you enjoyed?

well I don't know . He let me keep my shirt on so I liked that

he chuckled a little bit at your answer .

okay thats ... nice but name things he did that made you feel good . Did he talk you through it . touch you in a way that made you feel good ... things like that

yeah I mean he was my first everything . He would choke me which is something that I like ... he would give me hickeys in only places we could see which I thought was hot I guess. He would I guess praise me a little which made me feel good .

okay and did he ever prioritize your pleasure over his

n-no not really I mean he never made me cum

You were with him for 6 months and he didn't make you cum at all?

no I mean he would make me ummm you started to get nervous for some reason not wanting to say squirt.

So he made you squirt but never gave you a full orgasm

yeah

okay and what about the second relationship

well it was more of a glorified situationship but he was great until he wasn't . He treated me well always made me feel pretty and wanted. The sex was fucking amazing I mean he was the only man who ever gave me head and I used to hate the idea of having a man go down on me I still kinda do but he was so good at it . And he made me you know uh squirt a lot but again never made me orgasm or he'd have me right at the brink of orgasming and then he'd cum and that was it. But after 2 and a half months he got distant said he was going through a lot and pretty much ghosted me for 2 weeks so I broke it off and never spoke to him again.

okay and what are things he did during sex that you enjoyed.

well he would choke me and he'd degrade me which is something I love and he would slap me which I did have to ask him to do but he did it willingly and he would talk to me a lot during it which I liked especially when id be over stimulated and id be crying and he'd hold me closer but made me take it which I found really attractive . He also bit my shoulder sometimes which for some reason I liked . He also liked to leave hands prints on my ass which I loved too and I loved leaving scratch marks on his back and he also enjoyed it .

okay so what ive gathered so far is you like being choked , its easier for you squirt than it is to orgasm , you have a pain kink, you like receiving and leaving marks, you like impact play and with an educated guess your a submissive.

Y-yeah I mean you got all that from such little information...

well I mean it is my job y/n he smiles at you causing you to smile back .

That is true you say with a quite laugh

so what are somethings that you feel were missing from your past sexual partners or maybe somethings you wanted them to do but were too afraid to bring up

well I mean obviously Id like to find a man who Puts in the effort to make me cum . I also guess I wish id like my partners to be more vocal even if its just sounds I like to know im doing a good job and that I make them feel good. I also wish they would make me call them specific names... sometimes I don't find it hot to moan their names so I just don't . I also would like someone who fully dominates me you know bosses me around tells me exactly what to do and how to do it. I also wish that I could fully voice what I want but when I try I pussy out.

okay so obviously they haven't fully satisfied your wants and needs in the past. How do you usually feel after sex?

I guess used in a way . I haven't really had a guy yet who takes care of me after . They all have just gotten up threw me a towel to clean myself off and then I get dressed and leave.

so you crave the intimate parts as well as the sex. You want to feel taken care of after and not just like they got what they want and thats all

yeah exactly I mean thats why I haven't really had sex in a while I started to have a lot of mental challenges with myself and it created a lot of body image issues and I just got tired of feeling used

im sorry they made you feel that way. I think what a lot of guys fail to realize is girls minds are very different . They don't think the way they treat a girl after has that much effect but it does and ive seen through the years the toll that it can take on younger woman's minds that can even lead to eating disorders. Its very important to make woman feel loved and take care of even if the sex is rough and after they do something so small like running a bath to help you relax small things can really make a difference

exactly I want something like that but I feel like I always go for emotionally immature men who just see me as a piece off ass and get what they want then leave I just feel like its hard to find a man who will fit my every want and desire but I don't want to keep lowering my standards just so I can get fucked once and a while

You shouldn't have to lower your standards for that but it does sounds like being celibate isn't something you're happy about he says with a look on his face that you cant exactly read .

well no I mean I like having sex honestly sometimes I think I like it a bit too much . Im horny a lot and don't get me wrong toys are great but its never quite the same and having someone on top of me making me feel good

I understand what you mean . Don't take this the wrong way but do you think that you might be a sex addict

i... well maybe I don't know you say as your face gets red with embarrassment .

do you think that maybe looking into something like a bdsm club would be worth a try . Judging by the things you like that you've told me so far you need a dominant who not only wants to pleasure you but enjoys giving you everything you want

I don't know ive looked into it but they all seem weird and sketchy .

Well what is your dream man explain what he would look like what he would do to you that would meet your every deep desire

well I like a man who's taller than me who I can stand next to and feel small compared too but also feel protected by. I like a man who looks dark and mysterious kind of like if he walked into a room people would feel on edge and a bit scared. I like a man with dark hair and light eyes preferably with tattoos that has an energy to him that makes me feel slightly in danger even though im not. I want a man who asks me my kinks and fantasies and has no problem making them a reality .

And what is your darkest fantasy . one you've never told anybody he says leaning closer to you over the desk making your breathe hitch .

He narrows his eyes on you as he notices your breathing pattern changing and the way your thighs rub together as you squirm in your chair. With how attractive he is and the way he pins you down with his eye contact and all the sex talk it has you wet and horny.

I don't know if you really want to hear about that to be honest you'll probably think im crazy

I would never think that y/n you have to remember I hear about things like this on a day to day bases its nothing that I probably haven't heard before.

okay c-can I look in my notes app thats where I have them written in full detail

of course also lets move to the couch this seat gets uncomfortable after sitting in it all day

okay you say as you slowly get up making your way to the couch and taking a seat in the middle

he stands adjusting his pants and taking off his tie setting in on his chair as he unbuttons a couple of the top buttons of his dress shirt getting more comfortable since your his last client of the day.

he comes over and sits almost knee to knee with you causing your breathing to accelerate at the closeness between you both.

whenever your ready to share go ahead I promise this is a safe space I will not judge you

okay . Well my fantasy takes place in a grave yard...

okay scence set he says smiling over at you

well it starts off with me taking a walk in the grave yard kind of late and its dark and foggy as I make my way to the far back where there's tress and the larger graves I hear a branch snap like someone is watching me causing me to get nervous and a bit scared but I keep walking back further till I hit old decrepit stairs that lead into catacombs . As I make my way to the stairs I hear more branches snapping and look into the woods to see a man in a mask watching me as he slowly makes his way to me before I run down the stairs causing his to chase after me into the catacombs and before I can get father away he grabs me by my hair causing me to slam back into his big tall frame and fear to flood my body . Then he drags me into one of the open rooms with skulls adorning the walls and throws me on the ground ripping my clothes off and tying my hands behind my back so I cant move them or push him away as he slides into me roughly from the back and he fucks me so hard im crying and shaking under as he tells me how wet I am for him and how much of a good girl I am for letting him take me like this and makes beg him to let me cum so many times im crying and shaking . I also think it would be hot for him to create small cuts in my back with a knife every time I cum until they make up his initials in my back and he fills me to the brim with his cum.

you finally finish reading it and take a deep breathe even scared to look at him not wanting to see his face

y/n look at me

I cant

and why not he says in a deep raspy tone

because I just cant

he moves his hand to your back sliding up slowly until he reaches the back of your head tugging on your scalp causing you to gasp as he forces you too look at him.

I said I would not judge you and I meant that but when I tell you to look at me I expect you to treat me with respect and do as your told

y-yes mr sturniolo im sorry you wince when he lets go of the strong grip he had in your hair .

You were already wet from reading your dirtiest fantasy to him but then he did that and now you were a fucking water fall you could feel it seeping through your thong under your skirt.

you stare at him as he stares back as you with darkened eyes that have you melting into the couch feeling intimidated by the way he is looking at you so intensely.

there's a knock on the door causing you both to break out of the trance you were in and look over .

hey mr sturniolo I was just coming in to check if everything was okay its 20 minutes after my clock out time...

oh im so sorry Kayla you can head out we have some things to finish up on im sorry for holding you over

its okay see you Monday morning

she walks out leaving you and matt alone again.

if you need to go I understand I didn't realize we went over time

no its okay we still have some more stuff to talk about and to be honest I don't have anywhere to rush too

alright then what else do we have to talk about

what about this fantasy excites you the most

um I guess the fear of not knowing who's under the mask but also the fact they followed me I guess it makes me feel special and that he put in that much effort just to get me

Okay so fear turns you on?

I mean I guess but only in certain scenarios

okay so lets say you lived in a big house with a lot of land and you didn't have close neighbors and you had a stalker and he showed up every night watching you from far away . Is that something that would turn you on

yeah I mean the books I read have definitely tainted my mind but yes that would turn me on

what about having a stalker turns you on?

I guess the fact that they are so obsessed with me they feel the need to stalk and watch me

so you like the feeling of knowing someone is obsessed with you

yeah it would make me feel special I guess I don't know saying that out loud sounds concerning

no it doesn't I think you like attention you like knowing that someone is watching you and waiting to pounce on you when they want . You like thinking of someone taking you when they want and not having a say don't you

yeah I guess

so im guessing you also have a consensual non consensual kink ?

yeah you sigh . its kind of concerning how good he is at guessing your kinks and finding ways to get the information out of you without you having to just straight out say it. It honestly makes it less awkward .

so with the cnc kink what about it do you like?

I guess the fighting back I like to push buttons see how much of a fight I can put up until they finally brake and take their anger out on me

so your a brat?

excuse me you ask shocked at what he called you.

he laughs seeing you expression

y/n im not calling you a brat its a type of submissive trait you like getting a man annoyed at you so they punish you when they've had enough of your attitude

ohh yeah okay that makes more sense you say laughing softly to yourself

so you like being punished he says moving his leg closer to yours making them touch fully which has you pulsing around nothing. The way he speaks to you turns you on just the tones of his voice is deep yet soothing put there's also an underlying tones that makes it sounds like he's humiliating you with the words he speaks.

I mean I don't know ive never been punished a day in my life even as a kid I didn't get punished.

come here he says making you look at him confused

he softly grabs your arm then pulls you over his knees

w-what are you doing

don't worry this is strictly a lesson if you'd like me to stop I will but its easier to show you this way then explain with words

your breathing is loud at this point as your thighs squeeze together . the way he has you over his knees is doing something to you given the fact you know your ass is showing since your skirt is kind of short

are you okay with me showing you it will help you get an idea if being punished is something your into or not

you nod your head with cases him to jolt his knee up causing your body to bounce up and your skirt to ride up.

I need you to use your words y/n

y-yes this is okay I trust you

good now lets say I was your dominant okay. The thing I will be punishing you for is earlier can you tell me what that might be

ummm I don't know uh your voice coming out a little shaky. Your so turned on and you're sure if he looks down at any point he could see your soaked thong.

some on use your brain I know you'll figure it out he says as. you feel his hand on your back slowly rubbing small soothing circles

um when I didn't look at you after reading my fantasy

good girl thats exactly what I will punish you for and the punishment will be leaving my hand print on your ass would that be okay

y-yes

good now ill do 5 on each side okay if you want me to stop just tell me and I will okay

okay you say softly. The last thing you expected was for your first session to end with you over your therapists knee having a full demonstration of something you could be into.

his hand slides down your back to your ass as he rubs softly over your left cheek then his hand smacks down hard causing you to gasp.

thats one and I want you to count for me okay

y-yes sir

he groans causing you to blush and wait for the next smack

his hand comes down again making you squeak out Two

your doing good

after the last smack your breathing hard and your left cheek is stinging and pulsing in the spot he continuously hit.

his hand smacks down on your right cheek causing you to jolt forward .

fuck you gasp he hit harder than you expected.

you need me to stop

no im okay keep going

he finishes the last 4 and you're panting as your thighs are clenching together so hard you can feel the muscles straining. He helps you off his lap and you sit back down on the couch wincing in pain as your raw ass hits the surface.

he looks at you with dark blown out eyes with a slight smirk on his face.

well you obviously like being punished he says causing you to furrow your brows at him as you face got hotter.

oh yeah and how do you know that. you said in a snippy tone

because you clenched your thighs the entire time and ... I could see how soaked your thong was

your breathe hitched as you looked down at the ground trying to hide your embarrassment .

no need to be embarrassed . We did it to see if it was something you liked at it proved you did .

matt was about four years older than you making him 26 and you 22 which made this situation even hotter given the age gap.

yeah I know im just embarrassed I like it that much I guess

well I think we covered a good amount for out first session . When do you want to schedule your next meeting ?

do you have any openings on Tuesday ?

let me check he says getting up and going over to his desk to look at his computer .

he looked so hot leaning over his desk , his sleeves rolled up showing his toned forearms and his big veiny hands gripping the tables edge. God you wish you could have those hands around your neck. which makes you realize you forgot to mention one of your biggest kinks .

oh I did forget one kink that plays a roll in a lot

oh yeah and what is that he say still focusing on his computer

Hands you say biting your lip still looking at his hands.

he looks at you then notices you're looking at his hands causing his dick to stiffen even more in his pants. You hadn't noticed he had a hard on and he's glad about that. He's never had a client so close to his age that also fits everything he finds attractive . You're exactly the type of girl he's ever wanted , the perfect bratty submissive but he keeps it to himself knowing he's your therapist and he cant jeopardize your business relationship.

You snap out of it meeting his eyes as he's smirking at you causing your face to get red knowing he caught you looking at his hands.

I have two openings one in the afternoon for 1 pm or 7pm

can we do the 7 pm again

yeah of course ill put you in for 7pm

he finishes setting your appointment and starts grabbing his stuff you stand up off the couch and go to grab your phone where you had set it on his desk and grab your purse taking out your keys.

wait for me and ill walk you out its pretty late out you shouldn't be walking out of here on your own

okay thank you I mean you don't have to do that

no I insist he says before walking around his desk to you and leading you to the door.

he turns the lights off then locks his office doors then you both make your way down the hall to the sitting room area . He turns off all the overhead lights then meets you at the front entrance doors.

He locks those then you make your way to the elevators down to the parking deck.

so what did you think of your first session I know a lot of people don't like therapy

honestly I was really not excited but it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be

im glad I wasn't that bad

me too honestly I was expecting an old man not ...you

ill take that as a good thing

oh yeah no sorry I didn't mean it in a bad way im really glad your young it made me a little less nervous

im glad and I hope it helped to talk through some stuff

it did I mean I usually don't talk about most of this sex stuff with people so it felt good to get some of it out

well then I guess the therapy is doing its job

yeah I guess so you say smiling over at him

which floor did you park on

im pretty sure eight

cool me too ill walk you to your car

oh no you don't have to do that don't you have like a girlfriend to get home to or something

no actually I don't I do have brothers that are waiting for me to get them dinner though

oh well don't let me take more of your time im sure I can safely make it to my car

come on were in down town LA there could be crack heads roaming around ill walk you they can wait

fine if you insist

you make it down to the 8th floor of the parking deck and start walking in the direction of where you parked

so do you live with your brothers

yeah im actually a triplet so you know were very close we haven't really felt the need to move into our own places

oh wow thats cool I have an older brother but were not super close I always wished id had a twin sister though

how old is your brother

oh hes 26

ahh the older brother dynamic I get it its kind of hard to have a close relationship when your 4 years apart

yeah we've gotten closer through the years but you know he's a guy im a girl its different

yeah I get that

okay well this is me you say pointing to your car

thank you for walking me

of course its no problem see you Tuesday

yep see you Tuesday goodnight mr.sturniolo

goodnight y/n and just so you know you can call me matt

okay well good night matt you say as you start to get in your car .

he starts walking the opposite way to where he's parked as you start your car up and head home .

... part 2 coming soon.

#matt sturniolo #bd/sm daddy #therapist

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 8 months

Note

I just wanna let you know that you have given me the confidence to write and post an Miguel x OC fic. Thank you for that cuz without this blog it probably would stay in my notes app till I die

Thank you so much!! IM SO HYPE FOR YOU!!

I saw this as I was taking a break from drawing Moche & Miguel (because it's free and better than therapy)

And for anyone in the same position - I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT

I LOVE OCs. I think they add so much to fandom - and like even as a writing exercise, they're amazingly useful!

Writing OCs help you explore sides of characters that aren't shown often - giving them new and challenging/comforting dynamics. It helps explore large parts of the media/lore that are usually overlooked.

Teaches things like how to follow worldbuilding rules, SO MUCH MORE

OCs are awesome.

If you wanna write OC x Hobie or OC x Miguel GO FOR IT.

Like GO FOR IT NOW. Even if you've never done it or never drawn GO FOR IT.

Don't worry about it being self-indulgent, romance is suppose to be!! Don't be afraid to make your Spidersona super powerful or OP! No such thing! - they're in the spider-society for a reason!! Don't be afraid to make them a 'Mary-Sue'! NO SUCH THING!!

It makes you feel good, is great practice, and its FUN. Like, it makes you feel way better than you'd imagine.

Have them kiss, give them a long elaborate dramatic storyline, let them have kids if they way, let them be cute and cuddle, and be in love or best friends or whatever you want!!

Nothing cringy about it, in fact I think it shows a real confidence in one's work and love for the story because they take so much creativity!

It's great practice. Before two months ago, I'd NEVER drawn anything especially digitally, and I started just to draw Diane and Hobie. And I did that like everyday for weeks lol

If you have a OC that's dating Hobie or Miguel by OCs are friend with them. They're all dating them in their own specific ways and we all hang out mhmm

More OCS MORE MIGUEL X OC MORE MORE MORE

#miguel x oc #hobie brown x oc #hobie x oc #miguel ohara #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x oc #miguel ohara x oc #hobie brown #spider punk #spiderpunk #spiderman 2099 #spiderman #spider man #atsv #spidersonas #spidersona

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irlwakko · 2 days

Note

I remember seeing u mention you had specific Zoey and Mal platonic Headcanons somewhere and im very curious now 👀

this is so touch because I always get worried it'd be out of character for the both of them. i literally typed out this whole thing and deleted it because i was really worried about it being ooc!!! like obviously Mal just hates Everyone, but also Zoey's not all-forgiving or naive; she's dealt with Mal once and she would Not put up with his shit a second time around. so obviously I can see them butting heads and clashing a lot. like even as Mal's trying to have a healthier relationship with the rest of the system and Zoey knows this and is supportive of that effort (because it's also what everyone else in the system wants to see happen, too), they just can't help but hate each other. they're like oil and water

but I like to think that something (probably something that seems small) would happen at some point that would start moving things in the right direction. like one of them's having a really hard day, and the other shows kindness (in their own unique way), and they're like "oh. this isn't so bad, i guess"

and then with a lot of therapy and a couple very awkward discussions they (begrudgingly) realize that they both want the same thing, which is to keep the system safe and happy. and they can bond over that, even if they don't always agree on how it should go. and then they understand why the other does what they do. and their relationship slowly goes from a reluctant truce (mal: "truce?" zoey: "i wasn't fighting, but sure. truce.") to a genuine, if strange, sort of friendship

sorry if this isn't in-depth/what you were expecting unfortunately it is finals week so my brain is fried!!!!! but I really really wanted to answer this because 1. break from studying to think about my blorbos? okay yippee and 2. i wish Zoey's post-TD relationships with the system were discussed more as an idea so maybe this awakens something in people.......

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iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 6 months

Note

ive been ever so sneakily updating the playlist on yt, mostly for lucio my beloathed and im here to share

BUT ALSO i went to look at lucios official playlist to check for repeats and was appalled to find that it was like half comprised of julian songs istg. im kidding of course its subjective but still the bidding?? THE fucking Bidding???? THE most julianest song ive ever heard and its on Morgassons playlist. i simply cannot even with this.

and so to start this off im giving the floor to julian with the entirety of Tally Halls The Bidding! *polite applause*

I've been sleeping in a cardboard box, Spending every dollar at the liquor shop/ (yeah this ones obvious) And even though I know I haven't got a lot I'll try to give you lovin' til the day you drop/ 🥺🥺(wait i just remembered mc technically has dropped one time already on his watch but i suppose hes learned his lesson bhjzdljzg)

I've been training like a Pavlov dog, Let my independence out to take a hike/(😩😩🙄🥵😤😤🥺come ON this is the most julian line ever) All you're gonna have to do is ring my bell/ (ok confession time i edited this line because this is the first time im actually reading it and im sorry but it looks so wrong who tf says Activate my Bell what in the hell) And I'll fetch you anything you like/ (in summary: heeeere subbysubbysubbysubby)

Going once, going twice, Every man here has a price/ (i highkey Love this one so much in relation to the game in general because boY DO THEY fucking EVER have a PRICE THEY GOT ME CRAWLING BACK EVERY DAY GRINDING FOR THESE DAMN COINS) Over where? Over there, sold To not a single lady in here

I've been here like a thousand times, Dated every woman in the atmosphere. I've been to every continent, Broken all the hearts in every hemisphere/ (mmm yaass we love a well travelled king. also yeah i can see that other bit being accurate, he is a catch) And if I'm not the type of guy you like to circumvent, Just remember not to love me when I disappear/ (yeah that sounds like him alright)

I graduated at the top/ (Mmmm we LOVE a medical degree king slay) I like to take advantage of the bourgeoisie/ (maybe not exactly how it happened i mean he worked for him for the most part but i count it as a lucio reference lmao) So if you have a fantasy of being a queen, Maybe you should blow a couple bucks on me/😏😏

Going once, going twice! Won't these gentlemen suffice?/ (*brain animatic director voice* pan over to the rest of the lads standing at their respective game show-y podium stands; a somewhat disgruntled asra, lucio preening for anybody paying attention, muriel's left already) Any here? Any there? Any motions anywhere? Going twice, going thrice, Guess this means we'll go four times a lady

I promise I'll be all you'll need, ever need You'll never have to shop around (don't shop around) And I'll give you all you'll ever need, ever need, Don't worry I will never let you down, let you down- Don't worry I will never let you down/ (admittedly this doesn't sounds exactly like something he'd say, the insecure avoidant wretch of a boy kjbdfkjadf maybe a bit later, god knows hes trying bless his little heart)

So many ladies are wanting for mates, And the prospects are good but the date's never great- Over here, over there, over where? Anywhere! They're too busy with winning the bidding to care! And he's sold!/ (*film director voice* the gavel bangs one last time, the doctor & mc pushed into each others embrace laugh together before going in for a kiss; curtains fall; brain animatic over, credits roll kbhsrjkdgh)

Alright lets get the lucio show on the road number one: Central Cee Retail Therapy which ive been obsessively listening to basically every day now for some reason but also im skipping like half the song literally only because i genuinely could not understand wtf hes talking about in there lmao

Fly uptown when I'm feelin' down I wanna do retail therapy/ (only kind of therapy i can imagine him pursuing) Been with the gang all week I need some female energy/ (ok tbh i dont remember how it went with him and nadia before they got together but this line just has me picturing him in his soldier mercenary days, back home from whatever job, done with boys nights, lookin to get bizzayyy) Sucked my soul, I lost my breath She got me breathin' heavy, Toxic relationship with my queen But me and the T got chemistry/ (ok im just now learning T means trap house but imma pretend i didnt see that gjhfhkgk)

Told her that I'm a Gemini Now she on Google checkin' the compatibility, She wanna see if I got the agility She wanna see if I got the ability/ (this bit may be silly but the first time i heard this while thinking about lucio i just instantly went "omg itd be funny if hes actually a gemini and it fits" and i checked, hes not, of course hes capricorn lol (but also wasnt there that one time when they gave him two birthdays on accident jgxgnvgs that just makes this even more in character bear w me) and after i learned that i just instantly reasoned that, at least to me, him lying about his star sign to get with nadia totally sounds like something he would do xD im not sure i can see him putting in the effort of actually researching which sign is compatible with nadia, but i mean hey he wants to bag a whole princess hes got a lot riding on this he might as well memorise some charts dgkhgj/ ok update i did in fact google the compatibility for cancer/gemini and its utter shit😂😭 she actually supposedly is more compatible with his actual sign but also, like. come on. look at them. if any relationship can be used to prove that thats all kinda bullshit or bad writing for a game about all this astral stuff? its probably them lmao

I went 'round three, she want round four- she killin' me, ADHD, my trigger finger fidgety

Walk in- Walk-in wardrobe look like the stockroom - Mum said I'm materialistic/ (literally canonically them fr shes such a hater bmvxhkhx) When you're the boss, that shit will cost, I'm buying my mumzy a crib for Christmas I'm livin' a movie, but it ain't scripted/ (oh honey if you knew how scripted your life is) God is my witness, get out my business, Back in the day I had one pair of trainers I wore that shit 'til it gave me blisters/ (also pretty canonically accurate sentiment i reckon with the living in a hardcore arctic hunter tribe situation n whatnot)

numba tew: Panic at The Disco's Emperors new clothes~ the music video for this one kinda fits the vibe for his storyline too a little bit at least aesthetically lol

Welcome to the end of eras, Ice has melted back to life - Done my time and served my sentence, Dress me up and watch me die - If it feels good, tastes good, It muuuust be mine~ Dynasty decapitated, You just might see a ghost tonight/ (kinda could describe his debut as a ghoast (ghost goat?)?)

And if you don't know now you know

I'm taking back the crown/ I'm all dressed up and naked/ (naked ghoast ass mf) I see what's mine and take it (Finders keepers, losers weepers) oooOOOh yeeeah, the crown/ So close I can taste it, I see what's mine and take it (Finders keepers, losers weepers)/ (yeah this bit speaks for itself i think, pretty biblically accurate lucio characterisation)

Sycophants on velvet sofas, Lavish mansions, vintage wine~ I am so much more than royal/ (i mean. mister I Deserve Everything. cmon) Snatch your chain and mace your eyes/ (man i dont know something something devil deal chains😭)

If it feels good, tastes good, It must be mine/ Heroes always get remembered/ But you know legends never die/ (yeeesss YYYEEEEESSSS UGH the auDACITY)

number 3: Nick Lutsko's Sometimes!

Swinging for the fences, Hanging from the moon, I cut my tongue on the rust of a silver spoon, I bet my billionth bottom dollar on a hopeless case-/ (i like those two lines for him being a nepo baby theyre so nice and evocative) And now the devil on my shoulder has a knife to my face/ (obvious allusion is obviousing)

Racing toward the mailbox With a letter in your hand But the postman's gone away, and you begin to understand- That you're no hero to this story, You're just another wretched pawn, Who bought his tickets to the sideshow And then slept through the alarm/ (UGH this song is just good i dont even have anything to say about that little blond bitch anymore htkjyufh no theres something in there i swear. about him taking on this bigger than life endeavour to acquire all this unimaginable power and dealing literal demons and barely even taking it seriously sometimes and not realising how played hes getting)

Sometimes the short end of the stick is the sharpest/ Sometimes the only road to take is the darkest/ Sometimes all you gotta say is "mommy make it go away"/ Sometimes the only way out is as a carcass💀

Sometimes you gotta finish what you shouldn't have started/ Sometimes you gotta shoot before you see the target/ Sometimes mommy's gonna say, "You're not worth the price to pay" Sometimes the tunnel only leads to darkness/ (this is where im cornered into admitting i only associate this song with lucio cause of the mommy issues. yippee)

im not saying anything but if you havent heard these songs before theyre reeeally fun to listen to and worth checking out i prommy👀 i enjoyed thinking through this so much im not great at Lucio so the details might be iffy i hope it made any sense thank you bye goonight🥰🥰

@tetsuoooooooooo HII!

Ugh I can't begin to say how much fun it was to read all of this, thank you!!! I always love how you unpack the lyrics for different characters ^.^

I've just added all of your suggestions to the playlist and I'll put them on the tag too. (Istg I will never be able to listen to The Bidding the same way again, you've effectively Julian'ed it for me XD)

Cheers friend!

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #arcana brainrot playlist #julian the arcana #julian devorak #lucio the arcana #lucio morgasson #the arcana game

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intersex-questions · 8 months

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Hey! Wanted to ask, are there any intersex variations that cause early puberty? We started puberty at around 3/4 years old and were further in puberty that our older sister, who was 11 at the time (and going through average puberty). We asked our mom about it, and she got incredibly defensive and upset before she said that she stopped us from eating pizza and ice cream and made us eat fresh fish, which made it stop. I don't really believe her because she lies ALOT (which my entire family is aware of), especially about things regarding my childhood. Not only that, we were poor at the time and we couldn't even afford regular fish from stores much less for fresh fish which was wayy more expensive and my siblings and I don't remember having much fish as a kids unless it was given to us by non-family memebers. And around that time, she started taking us to the doctor to get very painful shots even tho we weren't sick and had all of our vaccines already. Even with all that stuff she claims to have done puberty still didn't really stop. Quite literally, the only thing we didn't experience till we were 12 was shark week, and we started growing boobs at 3, but it stopped and started back at around 8. Apart from that, we had been experiencing everything else since we were 3. It was really difficult and painful growing up like that. People thought it was okay and acceptable to treat us like shit and also adultify us. When we were a pre-teen, certain stuff became much more noticeably masculine looking and we also think we may have hirutism (did the ferriman-gallwey thing and got 23) which also led to our parents becoming way worse to us in regard to this and to more harassment from others. Ah shit im kinda rambling sorry I hope this makes sense

(also regarding the we/our's in this, we have DID and use we/our and i/my interchangeably)

Don't worry, you're making sense! No need for apologies. Rambling is welcome on this blog and is actually very beneficial to me helping and answering your questions/concerns.

(Since you're a system, please note that when I use "you" as a collective to refer to the whole system or all the individuals who relate to or are experiencing what you sent in the ask!)

First off, I'm very sorry about all the hardships you've had to go through. That's awful, and no one deserves that. You are wonderful the way you are.

Now, to answer your questions!

Precocious puberty is the term for early puberty. This is what you experienced. There have been some studies that connect eating fish to delaying puberty, which is why I could think your mother did this.

If you were getting shots, you were likely going through GnRH analogue therapy. GnRH refers to gonadotropin releasing hormone. Gonadotropins are a hormone that affect the gonads (sex organs), gametes (sex cells), and sex horomones. Essentially, these delay development in puberty, but how effective they are and how much they work varies from person to person.

For you, I cannot say if this was medically necessary or not. It depends on the body.

Precocious puberty in itself is often a symptom of or comorbid (commonly occurring with) another condition, however pinpointing its cause is often difficult to impossible. So, basically, yes, it can be because of an intersex variation. It can be caused by or connected to thyroid, pituitary, adrenal glands, and/or ovarian issues/problems/variations, which commonly are connected to intersex conditions.

It can also be caused by brain tumors or brain injury, although I doubt that that is the case since you are still alive and fine today and didn't mention having sustained any brain injuries.

McCune–Albright syndrome is a condition that can cause precocious puberty. It is a genetic disorder that effects the bones, endocrine system, and skin. It is a mosaic condition, which means that there is a presence of more than one genetic line for a given genotype (like a given little genetic message, usually organisms are expected to only have one genotype). It is often characterized by fibrous dysplasia (disorder where bone/marrow has fibrous tissue which leads to it being weak and being susceptible to expansion), endocrine diseases, hyperpigmentation of the skin, hyperthyroidism (excessive thyroid hormones), hypophosphatemia (low phosphate levels in the blood), excess growth hormones, and very rarely Cushing's syndrome (a condition characterized by prolonged exposure to cortisol and glucocotoroid.)

Besides that and certain kinds of tumors/brain lesions, hypothyroidism is the only known cause of true precocious puberty as far as I know.

This is the only thing that could be an intersex variation for an individual that I can think of that has significantly precocious puberty as a symptom. However, I'm sure there are other intersex variations with precocious puberty as symptoms that I'm not thinking of. Many intersex variations have early or late puberty as symptoms.

Precocious puberty can also be caused by langerhans cell histiocytosis and tuber cinereum hamartoma, neither of which are related to intersex conditions as far as I know. (Other than the fact that tumors can affect development and hormonal levels.)

Now, besides all that, I'd just like to say that if you feel if your life experiences are intersex, then you are completely allowed to label as such or assert that you are intersex. Intersex is a term open to anyone who is born with or naturally develops abnormalities in their primary or secondary sex characteristics that fall outside of the understood commonly propagated binary sex model used for humans. Personally, I consider hirsutism as an inherently intersex variation all on its own. Some people believe you need a specific diagnosis to be intersex, but I am of the opinion that, if you feel it fits your life experience, then you are welcome to use it. You never need a specific diagnosis for an intersex variation to be intersex. I also think that precocious puberty can be inherently intersex if an individual knows that it gives them an intersex experience.

I hope that I managed to answer your questions and concerns well enough. Let me know if you have any other questions.

Cheers!

EDIT: Early puberty (not necessarily precocious puberty, but early puberty in general) is often associated with NCAH and LOCAH, which could make sense for you considering you have hirsutism. I talk about NCAH/LOCAH here. Thank you to @chaoticmellows for reminding me! I knew I was forgetting something major. In all actuality, NCAH/LOCAH is the most likely candidate if you did have a specific intersex variation, although you know your body best!

#asks #questions #intersex #mccune-albright syndrome #precocious puberty #hypothyroidism

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escaping-amish · 1 month

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Reconnecting with (and sleeping with!) the guy who helped me start my deconstruction journey…

The year was 2021 and I sent him a message on Hinge. My expectations were low but to my own surprise, we clicked so well. Conversations easily lasting all night. He was even my first kiss !! But I was deeply involved in church. He wanted more but I couldn’t fit him into this mold I had made for myself as a good (though incredulous) church girl. I was too scared to deviate from the expectation of me that as much as it hurt me, I agreed it was a good idea to end it.

I regretted that decision, without exaggeration, every day, every week, month that passed immediately after.

That regret fueled an anger towards everything that stood against me and what I wanted. Not just this guy but now everything I actually wanted. Free time, dancing, my own wardrobe, my own person!!

3 years have passed since Hinge Guy. Since then, i have been on a dozen first dates, watched him fall in love on social media, and throughout it all - never stopped thinking about him. I've told this to my therapist that i think about him AT LEAST on a weekly basis. I had told myself that if by some otherworldly miracle the opportunity presented itself again - I'd take it no questions asked. Since then I have also sought out therapy to prepare for my exodus from the church. I became intentional about creating a chosen family. And I was getting ready to pull the trigger. When OUT OF THE BLUE - i get a message from Hinge Guy. "heyyy, how are you?"

My stomach wanted to fall out of my ass because I was just thinking about him probably earlier that day. Fast forward, we reconnect and he finds out im leaving the church. I find out he's single. We both rediscover that we still like each other. Things took a spicy turn but not once did I feel like he was being disrespectful or a perv. The idea crossed my mind of potentially being a rebound. that worry still sits on the back burner. But we've had countless vulnerable conversations that have reassured me. Neither of us were looking for this - or even planning this. It has caught us both off guard.

We hung out 2x for the day when he invited me to stay overnight somewhere - just to have more time with each other. I suggested his place because it didn't feel sexual or transactional. so I went over (3/16/24-3/17/24). I was shy but comfortable. Hand holding led to cuddling, which led to kissing, then heated kissing, then wandering hands. and ultimately sex. He knew about my religious upbringing and knew i was a virgin. He could not have been more attentive, responsive, caring and gentle if i planned it myself. I don't regret a single thing.

He's still going through his own grief post-breakup and if this ultimately fizzles out into nothing i will still cherish it for what it was - a 2nd chance. If this is the only way I can have that emotional closeness - not necessarily the sex - but this in-between of where he's at, I will enjoy every moment I can. Because this is a beautiful connection that I have yet to feel with anyone else that i've met. i have never felt so seen and so true. It makes me feel like I do have a say in my life after all. That younger girl that was scared away from living her life is a lot braver this time around. The desire to live is now stronger than the desire to fit in. No idea what tomorrow will look like but i'm a little more confident now that i'll be happy there.

#personal #diary of an ex fundie #ex christian #ex fundie #ex pentecostal #ex fundamentalist #deconstruction #leaving christianity #exvangelical #situationships #virgin no more bitchesssss

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canongf · 7 months

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hey liv, sooo I need a bit of advice

so, I f/o a few disney characters, and sorta enjoy disney to a certain extent, but since disney is so widely seen as “for kids” and im a bit older (I dont wanna reveal my age bc Internet but ye) im worried about seeming “childish” or “immature” because of it. any advice on how to overcome this?

hi hi soda!!!

the fear of being childish or immature is something that i've struggled with too!!! i get it!!! i totally get it!!!

but the most important thing i've learned over the years is that it really doesn't matter. it doesn't matter if people think we're childish, it doesn't matter if people think we're immature, it doesn't matter if people look at me and they think i'm naive or stupid. yeah, it might hurt my feelings a little... but it doesn't change anything.

what matters is what makes you happy. because, ultimately, there will always be people that don't understand. they won't want to understand, they won't try to understand. you could stop self shipping with disney characters and they'd still judge you for self shipping at all. and if you could stop self shipping, and they'd find something else to judge you for. you won't ever win with them, but you won't ever need to!

what makes you happy will always be more important than what other people might think of you. liking disney doesn't make you childish or immature, but even if it did, that isn't a bad thing to be.

i'm 25, i'm a legal adult. i love disney movies. i love disneyland. i love stuffed animals. i sleep with two, i brought one to therapy this week. i love scooby doo. i watch old episodes every time i'm sad, or anxious, or sick, or it's early in the morning, or it's late at night, or i just feel like it. i start crying when i get too tired and i make myself warm milk when i can't sleep. i'm getting better, but i'm still scared of the dark. my favorite candy is anything that turns my tongue blue. i play with makeup. i play dress up. i have big dreams. i self ship.

maybe some people will think it's childish! maybe it is childish! but it's me! i'm happy! and i'm so much more than just that! i'm still good at my job. i'm still smart. i'm still charming. i'm still funny. i'm still kind. i still have people who love me, not in spite of these things but because of them.

i know it doesn't feel good to be seen as childish or immature. i know it doesn't feel good to be judged. but people are gonna judge anyway, and you deserve to be happy. like the things you like. enjoy what you enjoy. try to focus on that. the right people will understand and the wrong ones won't, no matter what you do. so you might as well have fun!!! 🖤

#this got sooo long i'm sorry!!!#i just had THOUGHTS!!!#you're not alone in this #honestly... the older i get #the more i realize that very few people actually grow out of 'childish' things #my parents are in their sixties. my dad collects hot wheels and my mom just painted the entire interior of her house pink #what counts as 'childish' is subject and made up #and holds no value #just do you!!!#advice #chaotic-enby-selfships

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r-ene · 8 months

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Pros and Cons of being an Overloaded Student in Respiratory Therapy

during my 3rd year, where majority of the subjects are major subjects such as critical care management, airway management, mechanical ventilation and neonatal respiratory care, i took up more units than prescribed by the university due to being an irregular as a transferee (2nd year). and so i had 11 subjects with 31 to 33 units with 6 days a week of classes. i was leaning on writing how i survived it but rather i think "10 pros and cons" would be a bit better for those considering to undergo this kind of process.

this is from my own experiences tho, so... yk

Pros

you get better at time management. you drown, otherwise.

less procrastination. like #1, you drown if you do.

you get better at juggling loads of school work

you get better at putting boundaries - your body knows when it's time to study, time for family and God, time for rest (although you still need to get reminded), time to socialize

your focus becomes... great (most times)

you get disciplined.

you appreciate your early mornings, rest days, people and God (should you ever be a believer). i personally love my early mornings where i spend about 10 mins on average reading the Bible before classes, it helps me cope with all the stress and made me more optimistic. i also observed things are better (ex. grades are higher in quizzes) when i don't forget to communicate with God before starting my day

its a good practice. as a future healthcare worker, even for my internship there would be schedules of 12-16 hours aside from the regular 8 hour shift scheduled about 5 days a week, with saturdays being lecture or research days, it's a good help.

you are able to find ways how to study more effectively. i personally figured out what study style/s are best for me and when i should utilize study style A (standard) and study style B (for exams, quizzes) and so on.

you learn to compete only with yourself. most times we compare our progress and grades with others when actually, we do best when we only look at ourselves and compete with ourselves yesterday and move forward with it because you understand that you are a unique case and individual and so are others.

Cons

quick burnout = it takes a toll on your health especially when exams come where all classes would require a written one (practical exams such as in skills lab, performing airway suctioning or arterial blood gas were a blessing to me)

major subjects = major requirements. sometimes you forget that your minors need some attention too at times

i only had 1 day of rest (sundays). i love going on worship services but sometimes you just want to rest and sleep the whole day ??

you get very, very anxious and jittery when you dont have anything to do.

sleep gets put off when there are tons to do despite being good in organization and time management. i once went 38 hours without sleep on an exam week, i think it was finals ?

...it was very difficult to study for exams held on the last day, especially during finals. i loved pulmonary disease management and hemodynamics but i was just so exhausted i picked rest over studying otherwise my vertigo might act up

when bombarded with tasks (ex. case study + other major presentations or tasks all together), it's difficult not to spiral. therefore, i suggest to take a walk, especially if you have a baby doggo

if you live with your family, its a bit difficult when they fail to understand you have tons to do on a daily + need some rest. i live with my family of 6 members and sometimes we get into an argument with how im unable to help around especially while im resting after class

it is very difficult to schedule dates with friends or siblings or s/o (i don't have a significant other so that's one less thing to worry about, haha). oftentimes when my older sister asks me to accompany her to the mall for a date or just as company, i spend most of the time in coffee bean, studying. sometimes i rush there when there's an online quiz scheduled in the middle of the day even without lectures.

you gotta sacrifice a lot of things. as you can see above: you sacrifice good health, time with loved ones and yourself, binge watching or gaming (me personally i set a rule if im not on a semestral break i dont play games), good sleep, difficult to commit to other things (uni organizations or work, etc) and etc etc

this being said, i don't discourage or encourage anyone to become an overloaded student as it depends on your unique situation. with mine, my faculty wanted me to supposedly join my batchmates for this year's internship but i was still left behind because there were no offerings for the subjects i needed to complete everything during the summer term and so... yeah, hahaha

other than that, id say i did very, very well both semesters !! not to boast, but it was something i worked hard on and sometimes you just gotta be proud of yourself :)

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kidflashimpulse · 2 years

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i personally really wanna know what Bart's relationship with the mental health check-ups is. like, is he super tight-lipped about what he's been through and plays everything off as fine, that he's handling it? does he talk about certain stuff but not others? has he legitimately gone to therapy since s2 or has he only done what's required of him? i'm very very curious

Okay, so this is such a good question it has taken me forever to put this together because I have a million thoughts and its impossible for me to put a proper structure to it so please bare with me, I tried my best LOL also I am SO SORRY for writing up this essay as my response LMAO i don't know, the words just won't stop !

warning: it is a lot im so sorry lol

From what I've read among the fandom, I often read that hes been put to therapy pretty much from the moment season 2 ends and has since his stay in the present managed to somewhat "heal" from his trauma or at least confront it one way or another.

Personally, I somewhat disagree with this approach. First, like we've seen from Gars arc, BB had been suffering for months pretty badly, but interventions and mandatory check ups weren't at all enforced on him until what many thought was pretty late. Honestly, I found this actually pretty realistic. From both a "slice of life" aspect as well as what's typically expected from professionals. Thats because you can't force someone to seek help unless they pose a threat to themselves or can't care for themselves anymore. So people really only intervene when things reach their nuclear stage. Typically people who also need help withdraw themselves from their social circle, as we saw with Gar, which idk if ppl realise makes it incredibly hard for them to even try to help (not out of a lack of empathy, but because they have their own responsibilities, and if someone withdraws themselves from you, then its much harder to approach them or be aware of the extent of their mental health problems). Again, I actually found his friends general involvement in Gars mental health journey fairly realistic.

I think people also overestimate the reach (heh) of the Leagues mental health efforts. The mandatory aspect is a simple "check up" and this involves a lot of people. So unless someone is actively seeking or needs help, theres only so much this service can do.

Now how this unwarrented essay on an imaginary health care system ties in to Bart (lol im so sorry for my rambles), well ill tie that in later.

Now, maybe im reading too much into it considering how him being fine was made into a gag in the Elder Wisdom Season 3 episode lol, but his first reaction (which at that point wasn't made into a recurring joke) to Barrys worry was very much "its nothing, im fine, your worry is annoying". His emotional intelligence was also displayed from his scene later on where he manages to call out what Jay was really going thru for what it was.

Elder wisdom was an episode that was listed multiple times in the watch list for the series and Jays involvement was pretty prominent in it. Now with how Phantoms concluded, Jay was listed as someone by Dinah in the last episode who has needed mental support, so it seems like that plot line has been continued. Now I don't know about you, but I interpreted Dinahs mention of Jays issues to stem from Bart being missing (compounding onto general hero life stress and him probably still mourning Joan). This is because the creators of YJ always heavily emphasise that "everything u need to know regarding all plots is what is shown" and starting from the moment in season 3 where Bart guarantees he's not going anywhere, to the moment that Jay returns to an empty home from which Bart was missing for over two weeks, to the conclusion of Jay needing mental support, I feel like its a very tidy and directly connected storyline.

Another thing from that episode which has been continued over this season is that Bart is always guaranteeing that hes fine. Its a little jarring in parallel to the worry Jay was going thru, especially with us as the audience knowing that he actually has been through a lot in those two weeks and that all that time he was literally in bandages. But the moment hes awake with Clark and co, he guarantees hes fine and immediately resumes with the mission.

What I found pretty interesting with Barts involvement in Phantoms is that a lot of what has been previously assumed of him from season 2 has been supported this season. I believe the intention of his scene with the Legion when he pretty much cornered them into revealing the truth is that he somewhat has a switch on his personality depending on the circumstances. Which to an extent supports the notion that while his general personality is pretty much genuine, what he shows depends on what hes in the mood to play up or down.

From season 2 we've seen that he can be pretty tight lipped on what he wants. From season 3 we've seen him adjust to his new timeline pretty well and in season 4 we've seen some of his complexities as well as how it can affect the people he cares about.

So, with all this in mind, to answer your questions. With the check ups being spread thin with the purpose of singling out people who are shown to need/ask for it and his affinity for being tight lipped as well as playing everything off, guaranteeing that hes fine and keeping to himself, hes really only done what hes been required to do and played off any need for concern that would require him to seek further help. This doesn't mean I don't think he hasn't talked about stuff with the people hes close with.

Lastly, he also has the factor that a lot his background has to do with the future. Sure it might be one that doesn't exist anymore, but im sure he'd struggle to explain things without giving away too many things that he'd believe he really shouldn't be saying. Also his very specific background restricts him from seeking any professional help outside of league related resources.

So yeah, if you made it to the end of my post, thank you for reading :D <3 I hope through all this I at the very least, managed to address your questions and give my two cents on our fave speedsters relationship with mental health check ups

#YJ asks #bart allen #Bart Allen analysis #kid flash #impulse #young justice #young justice phantoms #jay garrick #flash family #I mean two members of the flash fam is still flash fam right and Barry was mentioned lol #garfield logan #beast boy #yj #the flash

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monstersinthecosmos · 7 months

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could you go into more detail re: how you changed the post-bom smut in chapter 9 of TTSR? i looove the whump+smut combo but i totally get what you meant by thinking it wouldn't be realistic for keith to even recover from what you initially had in mind, esp. given it's a multi-chaptered fic and listen we have places to get to we have burns to slow and daddies to kink and whatnot. but still i am kinda foaming at the mouth to know what the original plan was LOL, if you're up to talking about it ofc. btw it's sheith VC anon and i've just started reading IWTV! lestat cracks me the fuck up but i feel like louis would sound just as ridiculous from someone else's pov, arguably more so. girl you are out there standing still in the middle of the pouring rain for hours. love the moments when it stops being an interview and becomes a psychoanalysis session instead, hey it's free therapy. if he's even aware of such a strange and novel concept yet. also the AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE COFFIN bit made me lose it

WHAT A DELIGHTFUL ASK IN MY INBOX FIRST THING IN THE MORNING HAHA. LOUIS PLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 i s2g lol baffled-idiot-at-the-zoo-core

Gosh so like, when I write outlines, I kinda

list the points out

in the bottom of the document

that i can always peek down and just see the next part im trying to make it to

AND THEN I ERASE THE LINES AS I GO HAHA. So there's no real record of my original outlines oops. So tbh I don't remember allllll the details but I do have a couple clues from DMs with my TTSR cheerleader:

Basically, like, in the first aid/aftercare area of the chapter I was gonna have Keith in like COMPLETE hysterics hahahaha but I'm kind of a slow writer so idk the trials part of the chapter took WEEKS to write so like. It's hard for me sometimes because in my mind I feel like "I've been staring at this scene for weeks and it's getting boring" without remembering that it would take like, idk 10 minutes to read? I get very worried that my fics are long and boring LOL. But like working on the trial for weeks where it was like so dismal and violent and dark, I think it MAKES SENSE that someone would be in hysterics, but I also felt like.!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted the sex at the end of the chapter to be like quiet and intimate but for Keith to be really shut down and uncomfortable afterwards, and I wanted him to pull away and have walls up. Like to be in hysterics, then to have sex, then to calm down and be really embarrassed that he was in hysterics in the first place, and get freaked out that they're being too intimate.

But it feels like at a certain point I'm not trying to like slow burn or drag the story out FOR THE SAKE OF DRAGGING IT OUT, I don't want to include those things if they feel gratuitous. Does that make sense? Because I've read some bad slow burns where I felt like the author was being purposefully verbose to inflate the word count so that you FEEL SLOW BURNED by the slog of words but not necessarily by what's happening in the story? To me, slow burning is about what the characters are DOING and what's happening and how everyone feels, not strictly about making people sit through 100k of build up. You can slow burn someone in 3k if you're purposeful! So like without my original notes anymore what I do remember is

Keith was going to be in COMPLETE hysterics. The notes probably were like "Keith comes out of the trial puking and has a huge meltdown" and when you write notes it feels kinds harmless but then when you write like idk 15k about the trials suddenly it's like "a huge meltdown" feels like Too Much.

Shiro drugging him wasn't in the original outline; this was my excuse to get him calm and loopy instead of having a metldown.

I felt like Keith emotionally shutting down during sex at the end was going to be TOO MUCH so I let Shiro take care of him a little more. A compromise was that I added that he COULDNT COME LOL I just thought it would like still give me an excuse to have him be frustrated/burnt out/whumpy but without pushing it so hard. (Of course Shiro figures out a way to get him off anyway because I didn't want to like edge the reader on that either, that also felt a little cruel LOL)

I don't recall if I planned whose bedroom they'd be in but I let Shiro fell asleep at least before Keith leaves. FALLING ASLEEP IN KEITHS BED LOL FEELS SERIOUS.

I also think I wrote something about how he wasn't going to want to see Shiro's face or be on top in the second scene because in the opening scene he's on top for the first time and he's really nervous and uncomfortable and doesn't like it. So like instead of the BOM trial bringing them CLOSER I thought it was going to like push them further from each other because he was too traumatized LOL.

BUT IDK IN THE MOMENT ONCE I ACTUALLY SAW HOW THE TRIALS WENT I JUST FELT LIKE IT WAS TOO MEAN LOL. AND I DECIDED IF HE'S VERY HIGH AND EXHAUSTED HE CAN AT LEAST PARTICIPATE AND I DONT HAVE TO HURT SHIRO'S FEELINGS LOL. AND HE CAN STILL FEEL VERY EMBARRASSED AFTERWARDS WHICH IS THE NEXT CHAPTER THAT I'M WORKING ON NOW.

ajsdkglasdg

#stuff i wrote

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