#don't want this showing up in the main Dean tags and starting a fight

[wellofdean]

OK, I was going to reblog this excellent post by @luckshiptoshore so go read it, because yes. Yes!! YES!!! But then when I got started my post got super long and I felt bad tacking it onto her post and decided to make my own in response to these tags:

#i am actually a bit obsessed by the whole hunting as queerness metaphor#it’s so clearly something everyone involved in the show is thinking about#supernatural

Gurl, me too! Like go back to the start! By the time Supernatural began, the backlash against the Joseph Campbell Monomyth-style mode of storytelling had already begun in the hallowed halls of USC film school, and yo: I was there at the time of Kripke's graduation, and my best friends from college are full scale big giant time filmmakers now, whose names I will not share on main because it's uncool, and I don't want that attention, but... yeah. I am referencing FIRST HAND SOURCES on this.

But, for a real source? The Oxford English Dictionary places the first use of the term "Queer Theory" in 1990, with Queer Studies as an option in the academy by 1992. I know the kids think it's a new-fangled thing, but Kripke graduated USC in 1996 (I graduated in 1995) and it was ALL THE RAGE by then. My friends read queer theory in their Critical Studies courses in the Film School, I read it in the College of Humanities getting my degree in Literature. By that time, you could not get through that school with any degree in any non-STEM subject without knowing about ye olde postmodern lenses, queer and feminist theory, and without knowing how to employ those lenses.

Queer refers to sexuality, yes, but the word's earliest use (again, according to the OED) is in the 1500's, meaning: strange, odd, peculiar, eccentric. Also: of questionable character; suspicious, dubious.

So, ok, in 2005, Enter Supernatural, episode 1:

Presented? Two brothers. One actively seeking credit in the straight world that is not available to him in the bosom of his family: Stanford, law school, hot co-ed girlfriend, the other bound to his fractured, wounded family by duty, yes, but also by love, living on the fringe, alone, fighting monsters, and chasing after his father's approval, and who has long since given up any dream of being 'normal'. Episode 1 presents Sam's call to adventure, which he refuses when it's just familial duty, honor and love calling him, but accepts when the show takes a very straightforward and very telling path by classically fridging his woman. Ok, now he's on board. Like John, whose motivation is another dead woman, his motivation is revenge. So far so straight!

Dean though: he's different. He is already on the adventure and he was not 'called' or given the option of accepting or refusing because he had no agency when his feet were set upon this road. He does not fit the straight world at all, because he is cobbled together out of love, duty, deep guilt, striving, desperation and fear. This is who he is now, in some elemental, incontrovertible way. It was not a choice for him, he was born to it. His mother is dead, and we later learn, she made the choices that brought them all to this fate. Dean remembers her idyllically, but he is not motivated by revenge, more than any other thing, he wants to be worthy. He wants his father's approval, his brother's love.

Enter Supernatural's main theme: fucked up relationships between men enmeshed in patriarchy, which will eventually expand to include fucking GOD HIMSELF.

And like, there are SO MANY CLEAR STEPS ALONG THE ROAD in season one, and I am not even talking about sexuality and gender here, but there is SO MUCH TO SAY about it in season 1. But I am not talking about that -- I am talking at a structural, narrative level, the whole thing is just fucking all the way queered, yo.

The big climax?

At the end of the season, Dean says: "I just want my family back together. You, me, Dad... it's all I have." He is Sam's mother, John's partner! His vulnerability and emotion is feminized and contrasted with Sam and John's more overtly driven by their more masculine/straight heroic revenge quest. John: "Sam and I can get pretty obsessed, but you always take care of this family." Only that's not John talking, it's Azazel, and Dean knows it is because his father would never forgive how soft he is, how he will always choose love and family over revenge. Then, in the end, the show makes a huge point of telegraphing that Sam is finally aligning with Dean by refusing to shoot Azazel because he's possessing John, and Sam just can't do that to Dean.

Sam and Dean are thus bound together and cemented into a marginalised path, living on the road, haunting liminal spaces and cheap motels, confronting the monstrous everyday. Sam is presented as the brains of the operation, he does research, logics his way through things (masculine) while Dean is the heart who acts impulsively and on instinct and intuition (feminine).

It later transpires that Sam has a piece of the monster inside himself, and Dean has to learn to love the monstrous, he has no choice, because Sam is his brother and then Cas... and, and, and!

Like... I could go on and on, citing ENDLESS EXAMPLES. This could be a literal book. Maybe one you need to read with a magnifying glass like my condensed edition of the OED. LIke, the queerness of Supernatural is DIZZYING and MYRIAD.

But basically? FROM THE START, hunting is a queered version of family, and within that, Dean is a queered version of a Campbellian hero. Hunting is a metaphor for otherness and liminality, and that's even before you say a WORD about sex. It starts in deviation from the norms of family, masculinity and expands from there on so many levels both in story and on a meta level. The story is flesh on queer fucking bones.

I'm so sorry, but anyone who thinks queerness was not BAKED INTO Supernatural and more specifically into Dean from DAY 1 has clearly never seen Dean's insane lip gloss in season 1, and vastly underestimates the cultural awareness of people who write shit in Hollywood, and also the other people who put pink lip gloss on pretty boys in Hollywood. Nothing that gets on your screen wasn't a fucking choice made and approved by a LONG LIST of people who know what they are about.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #the queerness is baked in from the word go #like...OBVIOUSLY #and transparently

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest wednesday! a stanford era q for u: continuity error or not, it was established that sam and dean hadnt spoken for two years rather than four. what do you think happened to make this so? Do you think it has anything to do with why Dean said in the finale that he was afraid Sam would tell him to get lost or get dead?

heyyyyy bud happy wincest wednesday (a week later, cough -- oh my god what is this everyone tag on the post creator? what? okay I'll try to move past it-- )

DO I THINK

THAT IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO

WITH THE LINE

(BEST LINE!)

YOU'D TELL ME TO GET LOST OR GET DEAD?

yeah I think they're related.

I prefer not to take the 'two years' thing as a continuity error. There's no real need to? In general, it's fun to try to take what the characters say as fact and just roll with them, because often that creates a pretty interesting story on its own. Now, Sam's actual amount of time at Stanford doesn't make a ton of sense on its own, w/r/t when his birthday is, that it was only November 2005 when everything starts -- but whatever. The two years/four years thing is still rad.

We're never told that Dean didn't talk to Sam for four years -- that means that at some points in Sam's freshman & sophomore years, they were still talking. And then we're told that Dean hasn't "bothered" him in two -- and that also means that Dean knows it's two years, more or less specifically, which means that Dean's been aware of that time passing whether or not Sam has. It's not like he just showed up like 'oh hey haven't talked to little bro in a while' -- he knows it's two years, and he knows that Sam will be hostile to his showing up, and then with the extra finale context he's scared that Sam will just slam the door in his face. [that sound you hear is my high pitched wailing.] No wonder he doesn't call and breaks in, to make sure Sam won't get the opportunity for at least that initial refusal.

Maybe this is unsatisfying but I don't actually have a strong hc for what happened to create that divide. I do like to headcanon (...or maybe this is actual canon) that Sam started dating Jess right around that two year mark, and therefore his spare time was taken up with girlfriend. And then from there, it is very easy to imagine Dean calling on the road somewhere in South Carolina, trying to stay awake by bothering his little brother, but in the three hour time difference Sam's on a date with this killer blonde and he silences his phone so as not to interrupt. And then maybe Dean's in Maine and he calls Sam because he's bored on a stakeout and Sam's watching a movie with his new maybe-he-can-call-her-his-girlfriend, and he misses that call, too. And then maybe the next time they do talk, Dean's kinda snippy-bitchy because, damn, you avoiding my calls?, and Sam's kinda snippy-bitchy back because, no, but he does have a real life, Dean, he isn't just waiting around for random VH1 Behind the Music trivia. And so maybe the next time Dean thinks to call, nursing his stitches in a motel room somewhere in Texas, he decides not to. Don't want to bother big time college boy, does he. And then maybe Sam hasn't heard from Dean in a while, and he actually makes the initial call, but that time Dean's with John and sees the name come up on the screen and doesn't want to start a fight, and Sam hears it go to voicemail and thinks, fine.

Just that. Drifting apart, because that's what happens. You think someone's going to be there your whole life and then they're not. And then it's easy to think, well, maybe they're not interested. And then maybe you get mad, and then you get sad, and then you have this weird simmering unresolved something. And then two years pass.

Can I just say: oof. In some ways I find that to be way more sad than other versions -- like a big fight they had, or some intense interaction (I know a lot of people like to imagine first time Stanford sex in there), or whatever. But in this way -- this fairly realistic way -- it's not the big violent knife cut that leaves a clean edge and bleeds and maybe you can stitch it up; it's instead like... idk, erosion, or accidentally grating off a big layer of skin. Hard to patch up easy. Lots of little painful edges that can't get fixed all in one go. Fantastic fic fodder, that way. :)

#wincest #happy wincest wednesday #or sad grimy wincest wednesday? idk #basically i imagine the two year gap #like every mid-late point in a Sad Marriage Literary Novel #they're all the same #bad communication becomes no communication #and then one day there's a stranger in your bed #this is basically how that one bcs episode starts lol #sam and dean not applying toothpaste for each other anymore :C #--also #sorry i've been mia #first work was super busy and then i was super sick #and then super socializing #and now busy at work again #so i'm answering a few wincest wednesdays #and maybe throwing out a q if i can think of one #but then probably disappearing again #hopefully i can finish a fic somewhere in here #answers

[lovethistoomuch]

Get to know me(me)!

I was tagged by @birdkeeperklink. thank you so much <3 how sweet of you! (sorry for the late response)

3 Ships: all time favourites or most written/read? not sure but these are probably my top 3.

Dean/Castiel aka Destiel - this has to be on here right? it's probably the ship I have read the most fanfic of, thougth I have never really written them myself. maybe because I thought I couldn't do them justice when I was first watching the show and I was still very insecure about my writing. I have started an AU of them now, so maybe I'll publish it some day.

Jimm Prideaux/Bill Hayden aka haydeaux - I don't know, man, these guys just break my heart. most tragic love story ever in my opinion and it's even canon (even though not very obwiously in the movie). this ship has me shipping Mark Strong and Colin Firth in every project they do together so merlahad should be here as well. reading merlahad fanfic is like a cure for my broken heart for these two <3

Spock/McCoy aka spones - I just love them so much! the way their minds work together, how they are the perfect counterpart to each other while still being very similiar, the perfect balance, the absolutely screwed up personalities. they fight like enemies and act like friends and I just love them endlessely <3 writing them is so much fun! and I just want them to be happy, damnit!

First Ever Ship: Spock/McCoy probably. my first fanfiction I ever wrote at the age of around 11 was Spock/Christine but the main focus of it was on Spock's and McCoy's friendship, so my real interest lay with them.

Last Song: no idea, honestly. I do listen to music occasionally but only the same songs over and over. probably the 1982 'the thing' soundtrack cause I want to make a video where it's in the background.

Last Movie: The Holiday - I don't care what people say: it's cute!

Currently Reading:  The Mauritius Command (Aubrey and Maturin #4) this was the last book I started but haven't finished yet.

Currently Watching: Charmed - my favourite character just died :( so who know's when I'm gonna continue. but my parents are soon finishing season two and I absoultely want to watch season three with them!

Currently Consuming: pear/apple juice + spaghetti and tomato sauce

Currently Craving: a job XD (have been unemployed fo a while due to health issues and I just want to work again)

I will tag.... @uponxhorhaus @accrov @topshelf2112-blog @catzy88 only if you want to of course! but I'm always curious :D

#tag game #about me

[liopleurodean]

The Road So Far: Season Four

Well that was a ride.

Friendly reminder to check my tag #ashla chick flick moments to see my live commentary on every episode of Supernatural up through season 4 (so far), as well as the other 3 season recaps.

With that out of the way, let's talk about season 4.

Can I start with the poetry? If you gave me enough time, I could write a whole essay about the symmetry in this season. I mean, start with the obvious -- the titles of 4x01 Lazarus Rising and 4x22 Lucifer Rising (and don't get me started on comparing Dean to Lazarus, one of Jesus' closest friends. If you haven't read that story, please do. It adds so much). And I mean, all of the episode titles are on point this season. At least one Zeppelin song, a Peanuts reference, a Sesame Street reference (which I mentioned in my post about the episode, 4x18 The Monster at the End of This Book).

This season really highlighted how Sam and Dean have evolved in just four short years. Obviously there were extenuating circumstances to make them that way, but I feel like both characters were really stripped to their cores to see what makes them tick, and it's so fascinating to watch them react to what's happening around them. Dean is finally coming to see that his life actually has meaning, while Sam is falling apart from the life he never wanted. It's plain to see that neither of them wants to keep hunting, but season 4 has also provided plenty of evidence that hunting is undeniably in their blood.

It's also interesting to see how Azazel's plan fits into the greater storyline. I think I mentioned back in season 2 that his whole plot didn't make much sense on its own, and it's gratifying to see everything fall into place.

Once again, it feels like the writers are forcing Sam to be the main character, even though this season definitely has more Dean-centric episodes and Dean gets a lot more development and limelight. It's almost funny to think about.

Before I forget, I suppose I should pick my favorite episode. I do have to say, while this was my favorite season as a whole, none of the episodes really stand out to me as amazing. 4x06 Yellow Fever is a fan favorite, and I'm no exception, 4x17 It's A Terrible Life was incredibly light-hearted, which was much needed after On The Head of a Pin. 4x13 After School Special gets an honorable mention, but it's not on the same level as the other two. My all-time favorite episode remains to be 1x12 Faith, which surprises even me because I'm generally not a fan of overly emotional and heavy media. I tend to prefer more lighthearted stories, but Faith really hits. I've already said that 4 is my favorite season, even if the individual episodes were a bit lacking. I think I preferred the overarching plotline of this season over others; it had much higher stakes and I was much more invested in what was happening. I really felt more emotional about certain plot beats and the characters felt a lot more real. I sped through this season pretty quickly, at least in terms of how many watch-days it took (as opposed to total elapsed time since the last season). It helps that I was on a road trip, so I got a lot of time in the car, but I think I would have finished quickly anyways because the story was so riveting.

This season we got to meet Cas! I have to admit, he wasn't exactly what I was expecting. Then again, neither were Sam and Dean. I feel like I simultaneously know so much and so little about Cas compared to the two brothers, but that'll change as I get deeper into the show.

While I'm not a Destiel shipper (I know. But Dean is Ben's dad and I will fight you) I can definitely see where they're coming from. I'll probably keep making comments on it as I see it, because it really is an interesting take that could add to the show. As it is, it's exciting to see Cas evolve into a member of Team Free Will (and I'm honestly a little surprised that it's happening so quickly). Even though most angels are pieces of crap, it's still fun to see a new player on the field.

Speaking of, let's talk about Chuck. I've already had a lot of the show spoiled for me being on Tumblr, so a lot of the plot twists won't be as twisty to me. One of said plot twists is the fact that Chuck is God. Now, obviously I already know this, but what I don't know is why he's acting the way he is. Is he lying? Was his memory actually wiped? If so, by whom? Lots of fun questions, and I can't wait to see them answered.

And with that, I think it's time I wrap this up. I'll start season 5 hopefully sometime this week. Carry On!

#ashla chick flick moments #supernatural #season 4 #the road so far

[rickygoldman34]

Hello everyone Ricky Goldman here.

Its American Wrestling in haslingden.

1st match is Vito Peru vs Dean Allmark. My 1st look at Vito here,it was slow pacing to begin. Dean with control from the start as he pulled out some high flying action but Vito soon got back into it. Dean then did his usual hand stand on the top turn buckle but held it for quite a while,he followed this with a couple of drop kicks. Vito then wanted to shake hands with Dean but tried to kick him instead, back and forth action between both men,high flying moves from Dean,Vito hooks on a sleeper hold onto Dean but Allmark fights out battling back with fast paced moves,Vito came close but didnt get the job done, Dean hits a cross body for the dub.

Next up is The Quarterback Krissy Decca vs Sexy Kev. Krissy very much in control to begin,Kev did battle back though, this is indeed my 1st look at Krissy here. Krissy battled back taking it to Kev, kev did turn it around getting a close pin fall but to no avail he delivers a few clotheslines in the corner and then went for another pin but Krissy reversed it to get the win.

Onto the next one and we got The Maori Warrior vs Tiny Iron. My 1st look at Maori Warrior here,a battle of the big guys. Tiny the bigger of the 2 very much in control of this one but Warrior did fight back he went up to the top rope but soon got launched off by Tiny who then delivered a chokeslam and pinned Warrior for the victory.

The next match is Tony Spitfire and Micky Long vs Tommy Tango and El Ecentrico. Tony in control from the early going before tagging in Micky, in and out tags from Tommy and Ecentrico. Tony tags back in and takes over beating down Tommy but Ecentrico is back in as Tony and Micky double team him in the corner. Tommy back in now,Tony distracts Tommy with a chair whilst Micky clocks him from behind to take over,both Tony and Micky tag in and out and both take turns to beat down Tommy. Ecentrico back in and they double team thier opponents,Ecentrico hits a 619,Tommy hits a frog splash on Micky to win this one.

It's now the MAIN EVENT! and it's a rumble match.1st man in is Micky Long,next in is Dean Allmark,Tony Spitfire is in next, Tommy Tango next to enter, Tony is eliminated,The Maori Warrior enters next, Sexy Kev comes in next,El Ecentrico comes in, Tiny Iron is the final man. Kev,Dean,Tommy and Ecentrico are eliminated. Tiny eliminates Warrior and Micky to gain victory.

It was a decent show and I give it 5 stars out of 10.

Don't forget to add me on Facebook Ricky J Pate,follow me on Twitter @ricktherock30,go and check out WWA world wrestling alliance on Facebook and go to my YouTube channel and like and SUBSCRIBE for month long shout outs.

Ricky Goldman out.

#wrestling #youtube

[inactivespnblog]

Dean is the kind of straight person to be like "why do the gays need a month?" And just say other stupid shit like that

#basically I'm saying no dean would not go to pride. he'd be against it #well i guess against it isn't exactly what I'm thinking. I'm not saying he'd actively protest it or anything. i just think he'd make stupid #comments and be thst obnoxious straight person who doesnt get it and you cannot explain it to him #anyway time to tag things so my dean fan friends hopefully don't see it #anti dean winchester #anti bi dean #idk is that a tag? #if dean was bi he would be the worst representation hes an abusive asshole who deserves much worse than what he got #see like im not embarassed of how i feel about things or anything like that but i dont want to upset my friends while they're just trying t #enjoy scrolling. and also I need to use the anti dean for other people so #don't want this showing up in the main Dean tags and starting a fight #i don't care. I'm just making a post on this stupid website about something i feel is true. i dont feel like fighting people over it yknow #so yeah tags #spn #supernatural #supernatural cw #im not sorry i just feel this in my soul #dealt with someone like this today. big dean vibes

[impala1967dwinchester]

Dean Winchester: Change is due

*Credit to gif owner*

Pairing: Dean W. x Reader

Pov: Reader

Warning: Fighting, Swearing, fluff, angst, Dean being a douchebag, guilt.

Summary: What about talking instead of fighting.

Word Count: 1.8k

A/n- This is for band-pyschos 1.5 followers bingo writing challenge. This makes me sad, but whatever.

Square- "Stay with me"

Dean Winchester Master List

Main Master List

Tag list: @akshi8278 @deanswaywardgirl @wonderfulworldofwinchester @doctorlilo @hit-meup69 @fofisstilinski

The drive to the bunker was quiet. The rev of the engine. The downright scariness of the way that all I could hear was the passing of other vehicles on the road. That sound too eventually stopped as the driver back to the bunker was much longer than originally anticipated.

Dean had a temper like nobody's business. The temper of a wild dog, or maybe it was a wild bear. Regardless Dean's temper was downright scary most times. But then again most times that temper of his was never directed towards me.

Yes between miniature fights, and getting annoyed with each other fights did occur, but nothing too bad. You see, three years into hunting and now living with the famous Winchesters. I had fallen deeply for Dean Winchester.

Falling for someone is an already dangerous game, but falling in love with a Winchester. The most hunted after, hunters of them all that was a dangerous game to start playing.

I played the game regardless. Can you imagine falling for someone so much that your worlds just connect so well? Like amazing jigsaw puzzle pieces. Or maybe falling in love was like finally figuring out the correct word in a crossword puzzle.

Like Forrest says "Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're going to get." I would have never been able to tell you that when I was a little girl playing in my room running around in the pure white dress that I would one day grow up kill the monster that haunts this earth, and fall for the most righteous man, the fallen soldier, the best hunter I had ever met.

Could you imagine a six-year-old, coming up to their parent and saying that one day they'd fight monsters, and fall in love with the greatest monster hunter of them all. In your dreams.

Life with the Winchesters was most of the time pandemonium. Life with them was like living in the thunder dome. Like driving on the icy roads and hoping that you don't fall off the cliff. But life was calm sometimes, being able to have a half-assed normal life was good for all of us.

Sam was the best brother a person could ask for. The best friend a person could ask for. I think the moment I met the Winchesters, Dean and I were like magnets dragging each other together. Slated to be together for the rest of our lives, soul mates if you will.

This last hunt was nothing like we had ever dealt with before. So many children had been killed. I had put myself in the way, getting hurt instead of letting more children get hurt. A natural mother... or maybe just a natural instinct of a woman.

Dean, of course, was anger like normal, but usually, his anger would blow over and we'd either make-up or like the band, AC/DC says "You shook me all night long".

this night was different though. Something was off, something felt wrong. Yes, the drive was long and very fucking quiet but something in the air felt wrong. I'd like to think that I'm a tough cookie, a queen disguised as a princess.

I always think that Dean forgets that the reason he and I get along so well is that we are almost alike, in almost every way. We act the same way, love the same things, react the same way. Two peas in a pod if you will.

Dean tends to forget that when he gets angry, but comes to his sense rather quickly after, he either gets blown off, or the subject gets changed, something that he does often to Sam or me. In the situation where he knows he has no control, or where he is uncomfortable, feeling like he's being pushed into the corner.

I used to let Dean act like a douchebag. I let Dean get mad, yell, throw things, get in my face. But recently. Dean's anger has been out of this world, too much to bare, too much to handle. he almost turns into the hulk. It's like he forgets his normal manners and just wants to hulk smash literally everything around him.

How do you make someone realize what they are doing? How do you show someone how they are acting is affecting you?

Finally after what felt like days, but was really just hours of driving we pulled into the garage, the sound of the engine bouncing off of the cinderblock walls. During said drive Dean and I made eye contact once, his green ember eyes staring deep at me through the rear-view mirror. My own eyes making sure to stare at him with just the same amount of deep soul searching Dean was.

Sam steered in his sleep, the coldness of the garage and the car smell waking him from his sleep. Not a single word was said. Sam was the first one out of the car, opening the impalas back, grabbing his bags, and making a rather quick exit of the garage.

Neither of us moving from our spots. We sat in silence. A silence that's a funny word if you think about it. It the most screamed word when you're being told to be quiet. But it weighs heavy between two people.

Fighting was and has never been my style with Dean. Dean wants to yell and be an idiot then I'll let him be, but I won't go without saying my peace. I'll get up and leave if I want to. There's nothing holding me to the man, an argument is just a battle of words.

Finally, Dean moves, moves to look in the back seat. His eye passes over my figure like always. Passing by over my crisscrossed shins up to my jean-covered thighs, over my hips, up my t-shirt and flannel covered belly, up to my tall shoulders, and to my face.

The little light that was streaming into the impala's backseat. "Why?" Was all Dean said, staring at me. I chewed my lip thinking of anything to say. "Stop chewing on your lip. It's finally started to heal." Dean said.

Still, my body stuck in my crisscrossed position. I heard the creak of the impala, as I saw Dean shift from the front seat to the back seat. "I'm pretty sure that I just told you to stop doing that." He said bringing his thumb up to my lips, gently pulling down releasing my bottom lip from my teeth.

"What were you thinking?" Dean asked picking once again at the issue at hand. "I was thinking about the children," I said looking at the man next to me. It was quiet for a moment, then a heavy sigh filled the air.

"The children?" Dean said questioning me. A cocked-eyed eyebrow raised in confusion to my answer. Sometimes it's like my answer is either not good enough, or isn't the right one. "Yes, the children," I stated calmly.

"I'm getting confused here Y/n," Dean said shifting causing the smallest of creak from the old impala. "I stepped in front of the children," I said.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that but why?" He asked. This firstly is going calm, and Dean's asking questions just before assuming shit, but why does this seem odd, kinda like all of the sudden protecting the young kids isn't enough to get a few scrapes and bruises.

"Did the great Dean Winchester just ask me that?" I said now turning the tables and questioning him. "Yeah, I did." He said so cut and dry-like. "You really wanna know why?" I asked

We were still sitting in the back of his precious car. I had rested my head on the headrest, closing my eyes. Dean was just staring, it had become a bad habit of his after we got together.

"Because Dean those kids didn't deserve whatever that monster did to them. Hell, I just pulled ten kids out, you and sam pulled at ten each. Can you even imagine that, because I can. Being so scared that I can't even protect myself." I said.

Taking a deep breath in and sighing loudly.

"What are you talking about Y/n?" Dean asked, looking at me now with more intent. Wanting yearning to get to the bottom jar of worms we had so carefully opened.

"You know what ignore me, it doesn't make any difference," I said uncrossing my legs and turning to unlock the back door. I was stopped before my fingertips even grabbed onto the cold metal on the handle.

"Do you remember that promise you made me? All those years ago." Dean said, pulling me into his warm touch. His scent of bourbon and wood fell down around us. "No, I don't Dean," I said honestly confused about what I had promised.

"You promise me that whatever was on your mind you would come to me and talk about it. I know six years is a long time, but that day you promised that you've never broken that promise." Dean said while he drew small circles into my lower back.

"Tonight though right now, you're breaking that promise. You don't have to give me every single detail but just don't go walking in front of a monster because you don't know what else to do. You know that you can talk to your boyfriend right?" He said questioning me towards the end.

I only shook my head in response Dean took that as his sign to continue talking. "I just, I'm fearing that you're starting to drift away, and honestly Y/n. Honest;y Y/n I don't think I would know what to do without you." Dean said.

This is different, new, and odd. This Dean is someone who only comes out when the world is ending or the tears are about to be shed for the umpteen amount of time. This Dean, this is the Dean I fell in love with. "So make me this promise now, stay with me," Dean asked.

"Stay with you?" I asked, "Of course stay with you, I guess I just have to learn to be able to ask for help, right Dean." I said hugging him from the awkward position we had fallen into when he pulled me away from the back door.

"No more running, no more fighting alone. We do everything together now." Dean said, cupping my slightly tears stained cheek." Bumping our foreheads together in a sign of good faith you could say. I hummed and returned the favor.

Moments like this the calm, and the quiet. These were those times where I felt at home. I've realized with this job, hunting home isn't a place with four walls and a roof over your head it's about the people in your life. Make a home with the people who care about you. Make a home with the people you would fight anything to hurt, Make home able to be anywhere.

And when you can do that finally you can make home turn into love, and love into strength. Having all three makes you happier I'd like to think in the long run of things. So just "stay with me" that's all I'm asking of you, the rest we can do together.

Completed on: 05/06/2021

*Happy Throwback Thursday*

#band psychos bingo challenge 2021 #dean winchester #deanwinchtser #supernatural #supernatural x reader #supernatural fic #supernatualfluff #angstspn #spn angst #spn fluff #supernatural fluff #tw swearing #tw panicking #tw guilt

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCI

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Breaking Walls (Part. II)

(12x22)

Hello my friends! We are about to finish the metas from season 12.

This time we will talk about Leader!Sam and the Foreshadow of Healing!Dean from season 14.

Trapped

The episode opens with Sam, Dean and Toni locked inside the bunker, trying desperately to find a way out.

The curious point of it, is that they will try a spell to break free...

SAM: Seems like pretty basic ingredients. Nothing we don't already have. Oh. (...) The mechanisms “must be anointed with the blood of virgins.” (...) I mean, I've read half a dozen purification rituals in the last hour. If we used one of those on – on our blood...

DEAN: Then what? Revirginize it?

SAM: Maybe.

TONI: So we purify the blood, then do the spell.

Focusing on the symbolism here, first of all, the bunker becoming a trap, and the boys trying to scape from it, is a foreshadow of Dean trapped in his own body, possesed by AU!Michael. But then the spell they choose, need purity, virginity, clean blood.

Purity will be a relevant point in season 14 as the goal searched for AU!Michael and as a recalling to Purgatory, foreshadowing Purgatory 2.0 in season 15.

So when Toni says WE PURIFY THE BLOOD AND THEN DO THE SPELL, she's giving us the prelude for Healing!Dean in season 14. The path Dean will take to purify his soul, to really grow after being possesed, and facing himself. He will have to find his own in once to break free from Michael, and his emotional prison.

While talking about the way Dean had pictured his death, this is the face he made when they mentioned "blaze of glory"

Gif credit @jaredandjensen

Which is not the face you would do if you really wanted to die of that. Dean is, at this point, as he was in season 10, considering his options, he is growing up and the blasting idea of die as "blaze of glory" is not what he really wants for himself.

When we heard his confession in season 10 and then we saw him meeting Jesse and Cesar in Season 11, we can infer what's in his heart. What he really wants. Curiously, the topic of season 14.

The explosion Dean made on the wall to break free, is a symbolic representation of the big turning point in his life when he lost Castiel.

Breaking down the walls

The mention of Jericho at the beginning of the episode refers to "break down the walls".

Jericho's battle, described by the bible, was the first battle israelites to conquer Canaan. Jericho was powerfully guarded by wall, they were able to break down in the seventh day of the battle.

What this has to do with this episode? Well. Is an episode that shows us a lot of wall that fall and break down. First of all, the bunker becoming a prison, Dean broke the wall. Now is time to break emotional/psychological wall: when he gets inside Mary's mind, trying to reach her through a very emotional speech, he will be breaking those walls, and at the same time, he will be foreshadowing Cas and Sam getting inside his head to reach him, in his emotional prison in 14x09.

Dean reached Mary through family love, but it was necessary two kind of loves to break Dean's walls: Sam (family love) and Cas (romantic love) in season 14.

The speech Dean gave to his mom to reach her is the self knowledge about his traumas.

And because is a Berens episode, we have the parallels between scenes, to show us a message.

In one scene we have Sam trying to break down the walls of British Man of Letters to defeat them, guiding a team of hunters, foreshadowing his leadership in season 14.

And in the other scene, we have Dean trying to break down his mom's walls from her emotional prison.

Bot scenes interrelated with the profound meaning that will have Dean's possesion by AU!Michael.

The way Dean's speech to reach his mother is a reflection of his own self, is the perfect philosophical path he will take in season 14: Self discovering, self acceptance.

So, we can infer that the parallel between Sam's battle against BMoL is a reflection of Dean's battle to reach his mother, but at the same time, Dean's future inner battle to break free from his emotional prison.

Sam defeats and kills the head of BMoL, releasing the american hunter's from her. Just like Dean will release his mother from the mental control. And just like Dean will break free from his emotional prison in season 14.

Dean's self aknowledgment of his traumas

When Dean arrives to his mother's mind, he finds her younger, taking care of him and Sam before she died. Is a perfect (fake) world her own mind had created to keep her away from the reality, because the reality hurts. This is the perfect parallel to 14x09, when Sam and CAS find Dean in the Rocky's bar.

DEAN: Look, I know that they messed with your head, okay? I know it feels better in here. It feels safer. (...) Mom, look at me. (...) You're choosing this.

Dean is aware his mother is trapped in her own mind, her own emotional prison. That's not real. This way he is mourning his childhood's mother too. Because he faces her, and he tries to drag her back to what she is now.

DEAN: You promised you'd keep me safe. And then you make a deal with Azazel. Yeah, it saved Dad's life, but I'll tell you something else that happened. Because on November 2, 1983, old Yellow Eyes came waltzing in to Sammy's room, because of your deal. (Mary turns abruptly and walks past Dean to Sam’s crib in the living room) You left us. Alone. 'Cause Dad was just a shell. His perfect wife? Gone. Our perfect Mom, the perfect family... was gone.

Okay, i will make a cut here. When Dean starts the speech that will make Mary to break free, he starts saying YOU PROMISE ME YOU'D KEEP ME SAFE. He's talking about him, here, that's why I said that in this same speech Dean Winchester finds himself, his traumas, as the begining of his healing journey. Then, he narrates the big scene that changed his life forever. That day he went from a normal kid to have a hard life. YOU LEFT US is pointing at the demand to his mother, the empty space that must be filled (by Dean). Something he had in his heart, burried. Is te request of that little 4 years old kid. DAD WAS JUST A SHELL is also demanding to John Winchester for not be for them as he should. He was a shell, empty spot it must be filled. (By Dean). The perfect wife and mom doesn't exist, it was a fantasy Dean kept in his mind, it was the image he had of Mary Winchester. The image of the little boy. The perfect family, gone. Remarks the mourn Dean is doing, as an exercise while talking to his mother.

Gif set credit @littlehobbit13

Dean's aknowledgment of his role in Sam's life brings him sorrow and pain, because as he will continue saying, he feels he failed.

DEAN: And that wasn't fair. And I couldn't do it. And you wanna know what that was like?

They killed the girl that he loved. He got possessed by Lucifer. They tortured him in Hell. And he lost his soul. His soul. All because of you. All of it was because of you.

Even when Dean is taking all of the bad things that happened to Sam on his back, he shows his mother she started it all. But look how Dean carries with all these curses.

DEAN: I hate you. I hate you. And I love you. 'Cause I can't – I can't help it. You're my Mom. And I understand...'cause I have made deals to save the ones I love more than once. I forgive you. I forgive you. For all of it. Everything.

Okay, this is very deep. First of all, we have Dean starting his ILY journey right here. The firsts words are said by his innocent heart, the 4 years old kid is talking here: I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, is the duality of his feelings, his deep fears, and his repressed emotions. He hates his mother Because he had to go through all of that, and because Sammy had to go through all of that because of her mistakes. So, as the child he was once, he says I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU, BECAUSE YOU ARE MY MOM. Then, it comes the grown up man talking, as an adult, Dean is able to understand and forgive Mary's mistakes. Now that he is a man, he can connect with his mother's errors. And he is able to forgive her, reaching that peace he needed in his heart with her and with himself.

DEAN: On the other side of this, we can start over, okay? You, me, Sam. We can get it right this time. But I need you to fight. Right now, I need you to fight. I need you – I need you to look at me, Mom. I need you to really look at me and see me. Mom, I need you to see me. Please.

This, this is huge. Why? Because is a parallel to the mixtape scene. Look how Dean mentions 'YOU, ME, SAM', there's not doubt, not head tilting, no regrets as it was in the mixtape scene, why? Because there's no doubts Dean is talking about FAMILY, and not RANTIC LOVE HERE. In the mixtape scene he puts Sam as a shield, because he needed to protect himself from his own feelings YOU, ME (CAS/DEAN) it wouldeant JUST CAS AND HIM, THE TWP OF THEM, ROMANCE. GAY. But putting Sam there, he turns that into FAMILY. Now, there's not doubts in this scene, because Dean is talking about family. There's not shield needed. Family: YOU, ME, SAM. In both scenes he is asking for a new beginning, work toge as a family. But in the mixtape scene there was this romantic tension giving it an all different meaning.

When Dean asks his mom to really look at him, is the way he will bring her back to reality. Because the grown up man in front of h is the real one, his real son. The same will happen with Dean being possesed by AU!Michael, in which Dean will be able to see himself as he really is.

To Conclude:

This episode was full of symbolism, but the main topic was how to break walls, emotional walls, as a prelude to season 14, in which we will have Healing!Dean and Leader!Sam.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one, will be the last from season 12!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from this season, here you have the links:

Vol. LXXV, LXXVI, LXXVII, LXXVIII, LXXIX, LXXX, LXXXI, LXXXII, LXXXIII, LXXXIV, LXXXV, LXXXVI, LXXXVII, LXXXVIII, LXXXIX, XC.

Buenos Aires, December 6th 2020, 6:59 PM

#destiel #destiel chronicles #destiel meta #supernatural meta #season 12 meta #vol. XCI

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Love In Sin

Chapter 8

Summary - Special Agent Winchester is forced to go undercover with his frenemy Special Agent L/N when they try to track down a notorious drug dealer. How will Y/N and Dean complete their task? Will their relationship worsen or will new feelings emerge between them?

Pairing - AU Detective!Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count - 1.5k

Series Warnings - Angst, Slow burn, Fluff, Implied Smut, Mentions of crime and drug, Swearing.

Chapter Warnings - Swearing, mentions of drug and prison

A/N - Sorry for the delay, guys. Thanks for being patient with me and thanks for all the feedback on the previous chapters!

Thanks to @deanwanddamons for beta'ing this (she is an absolute sweetheart)

Divider by @talesmaniac89 (do check her blog out, she is an excellent writer and does amazing edits)

Series Masterlist

You stared at the group of police officers standing outside your house, shock evident on your face.

“That can't be-what..there has to be a mistake,” you finally managed to croak.

“I’m sorry Mrs. Campbell, I don't think there has been any mistake.” The officer smirked and waved at one of his colleagues.

“There has to be a proof as to why you are arresting us,” Dean said firmly.

“I am very sure that we will have proof,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper, “we have a warrant to search this place.”

“You can't just-”

“Mrs. Campbell.Did you organise a party yesterday at your house? We got information that suspicious activities were noticed during that party,” the cop said.

“Yeah we had a party, but we invited only our neighbours. That's not-”

“Mr. Campbell, I am asking you for the last time to let us do our job. If we find everything is normal, we will leave and apologise for the inconvenience caused, but we have a search warrant,” the cop said, once again waving the piece of paper, “ and there nothing unlawful about searching your house. Now, I would advise you to stand outside the house so as to not interfere with our operation.”

You nodded when you saw there was no other way to stop the cops. Two other officers guided you both outside the house and stood in close proximity, guarding you since you had acted in a not so friendly manner.

Dean stood beside you, his jaw set and his eyes cast downwards.

“What're ya thinking?” You whispered.

He looked up at you, his eyebrows knitted together, a deep frown etched on his face.

“Thinking about the case,” he replied shortly.

“I need to know more than that, Dean,” you huffed.

“What can I say? We are screwed!” he said, “even if Officer “I-have-a-search-warrant” doesn't find any drugs, our cover is blown, Y/N.”

“You two have a lot of answering to do,” the cop stepped out of your house with a plastic bag in his hands. Your jaw hit the ground. You noticed Dean was mirroring your actions. How did those drugs get into your house?

“We don't-”

“Save your answers for the court. Arrest them,” the officer ordered.

Immediately two cops came forward and started to put handcuffs on you both. Your mind was still reeling over what just happened. You barely acknowledged it when the cops shoved you into their car. You were still trying to process everything, trying to remember every tiny thing that happened in that party.

“Hey officer, can I ask you a question?” Dean asked.

“No.” The deep baritone of the officer resounded throughout the car.

“Okay.” Dean remarked and puckered his lips, thinking a little.

“Who was it that called you?” Dean asked again.

“I can't, or rather won't tell you,” the cop warned, “now shut your damn mouth.”

“No need to be rude, I thought we were vibing,” Dean said.

“What are you doing?” You whispered.

“Just being friendly,” he shrugged at you. You squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath. You were already under so much pressure, and Dean wasn't making it any easier for you.

The police car came to a stop and the door on your side opened abruptly.

“Come out you two,” the cop barked out orders and you stepped out of the car, your hands still in cuffs but Dean was taking his sweet time to get out of the car. You rolled your eyes at his cockiness. The cop tapped his foot impatiently. Huffing, he reached out and grabbed Dean's arms, pulling him out of the car.

“Hey, hey no need to manhandle. This is a precious cargo, baby,” Dean smirked. You wanted to reach over and smack him on the head.

The cops shoved you into a cell. At least they put you together in one prison and told you that you get one phone call.

“So we don't exactly have a lawyer. I think we should call Mr. Singer,” you said, Dean nodding his head in agreement.

“You both are kidding me right? You want to make a call to one of the top tiers in the Bureau?” The cop laughed after you told him to whom you wanted to make a call.

“Yes.” You firmly stated

“Huh,” he had a mocking smile on his face, “shouldn't you call your lawyer? You really think that this federal agent can save you?”

“Yes because we are feds too. We were undercover on a mission and it was going really well until you arrested us and walked all over it,” Dean said in a hard tone.

“You expect me to believe you?” The cop had a smug smile on his face, “I have heard a lot of alibis but this one stands out - really original. Anyways, phone's yours. You get one phone call so I can't really refuse.”

You hurriedly dialed Bobby Singer's number and waited for it to ring.

“I hate him,” Dean exclaimed, “he is one cocky son of a bitch.”

“So kinda like you,” you said as a matter of fact. “Mr. Singer, it's Special Agent Y/L/N speaking,” you said into the phone when Bobby answered. Dean kept staring at you with a frown on his face, trying to read through the conversation you were having with Singer.

“Our phones have been confiscated….we got arrested..no! They found class A drugs with us….in the house….we don't know exactly, it can be possible….okay….both of us….sure, Sir,” you hung up the phone call after telling him the address of the police station you both were being kept.

“I see your phone call is done,” the cop said and guided you both towards your cell, “let's see if your federal agent shows up.”

“This is the worst thing to ever happen.” You exclaimed and started pacing around the small space inside the jail.

“You gotta stop pacing, sweetheart. We will figure it out,” Dean said.

“Really Dean? What is your plan?” You asked but he didn't say anything, “Exactly, we don't have a plan.”

“I am working on it,” he argued back.

“Hey you two, this is not a place for a couple’s fight. Save it for when you get out of here,” the cop guarding your prison cell warned.

“Yeah right. We’ll save it for when we get out of this shithole,” Dean turned towards you, “I promise we will get out of this mess.”

The next few hours were spent trying to figure out any possible way to prove yourselves innocent, but you both came up with zero ideas.

“So I guess we are back to square one, Y/L/N,” Dean said and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes.

“I am telling you Winchester, there is no way we are getting out of this. They caught us red handed for God's sake!” you exclaimed.

“No one's perfect. Neither is this person. There has to be a loose end and we have to find that,” he said, stretching his hands.

“What did you two idjits do?” Bobby Singer grumbled as he walked towards the prison cell accompanied by a cop. The latter started opening up the gate of the prison and went to get rid of your handcuffs.

“Ah it feels so good to finally be able to use your hands,” Dean said, “and no we didn't do anything. We were set up. This is all a set up.”

“I bailed you out,” you let out a sigh of relief at the words of your boss, “for now. We need to prove you both not guilty within one week. The court date is next week.” You both stepped out of the cell and started walking towards the main door.

“Well we only need to gather evidence and I am sure the bureau will-”

“No they won't. You are both suspended.” Bobby said and guided you towards the car.

“What?” You and Dean exclaimed together.

“The police caught you red handed. The bureau, no matter how good you are as a detective, they are not willing to keep you as agents anymore,” Bobby said, opening the door of the car.

“So what do we do now? We have no evidence, no resources,” you said.

“I know, but I will help you two to get out of this shit. I put you both in this situation, but first we are going back to the house. You will collect your belongings and we are getting out of Kansas,” Bobby said and started to drive the car back towards your house.

Let me know if you all want to tagged in this!

Feedback is highly appreciated!

#supernatural #jensen ackles #dean winchester #spn #supernatural fanfic #Love in Sin #dean winchester fic #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #deanxreader #dean fanfiction #au dean fic #au dean winchester fic #au dean winchester x reader #au dean winchester #au dean x reader #au dean #dean x you #dean x reader series #dean x y/n

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

i follow a lot of meta writers who say dean's story doesn't make sense without destiel. for example, amara was about exposing how dean felt about cas; the heart stuff how she found dean by touching cas' heart follow your heart all that. i ship destiel but don't think it will be endgame (wish it would be honestly). can i ask what do you think dean's story is without a destiel exposition? Do the amara and MoC and Mary story lines make sense without it? What is Dean's personal story and endgame?

Dear anon,

first and foremost what I want to emphasize going into this reply is that people can take away whatever they want from the show and read it in a way that suits their viewing of what happens on screen. All of what we see in those 45 minutes of television is influenced and shaped by our own experiences and interests, by the things that speak to us and move us or the aspects and topics we deem important. For that very reason readings and views will always differ simply because we all have our own focus. Things that stand out to one person, aren’t important for another for the sole reason that we tend to latch onto and project what moves us most into the narrative and analyze what plays out in the episode accordingly. What I mean is: it’s natural to disagree, there isn’t such a thing as ONE and ONLY ONE RIGHT reading. And there is nothing shameful or wrong about disagreeing with someone else, it’s all about how one expresses those differences of opinion. No one is better or worse or stupid for not seeing what someone else may see that doesn’t fit to your personal impression and perception of the show. In short: Live and let live.

The reason I am prefacing my reply with this long, more general ramble is due to the fact that I feel the fighting within the fandom over “right ways of reading and watching the show” or “people being too stupid to realize the show is saying this and this and not that and that” has gotten to a ridiculous and toxic point in which tolerance is lacking all around and on all sides and is seriously tiring to me, because it is just mind baffling to me why people can’t just be happy with what they read and see in the show and share it with the ones who see it similarly, but have to force their views on everybody else and get nasty over people having another view and takeaway than them and throwing around insults like there is no tomorrow.

With that all out of the way, let me tell you my view on Dean’s story. And just to make that clear from the get go :) no, I don’t think Dean’s story only makes sense when taking Deancas into account. It’s alright for me, if people argue that and feel that way, but to me it’s simply not the case and also imo takes away from Dean as a character in his own right.

I enjoy(ed) Deancas and like interactions between Dean and Castiel (though tbh since S11 to me a lot has changed and I no longer feel passionate or strongly about them, because to me the writers and how they handle the relationship atm is just too hollow and soulless for my taste, it simply no longer has the depth and “spark” for lack of a better word that it used to have in seasons prior, which still speak to me and move me when it comes to these two characters), but I do truly take issues with people arguing that Dean or his story only makes sense in relation to Castiel. I have the same issues with people arguing that Dean’s story and Dean only makes sense in relation to Sam. Of course both people are relevant to Dean’s story, but to me another person/characters should never be the most important thing about another character. So yeah, both of these viewings are the same to me in their essence, because in both cases it discredits Dean as a character in his own right in measures and ways I personally find very sad, because it belittles Dean. And Dean is much more than the people he loves (and this actually one aspect that is actually part of the show for Dean to realize) and that is kind of one of the main things that I personally feel relevant for Dean’s arc and possible endgame: seeing himself as worthy and important unrelated to any other person/character.

[[This week’s episode imo has highlighted a great deal how I personally see Dean’s story spanning from the first season onwards and what his struggles were and are that need to be overcome for him to be happy (if you browse my 13x03gif tag you’ll find all the meta I already wrote on the topic).]]

It may be for the very reason that Dean always puts others first and worries about them that people tend to see Dean only as an extension to another character. To me personally therefore one of the main things that has been explored heavily all throughout Carver Era and with that the Moc and Amara arc is addressing how “unfree” Dean has been all his life and how he has never truly listened or maybe even truly found out what he himself wants and is without the people he “cares for” (that is btw one huge point that was made in this week’s episode when Kelly told Jack that he didn’t have to be like his mother or father, but just himself and how this drastically differs to Dean who has been both unwanted - see meta and gifs for that here), because that very aspect - Dean thinking he needs to be this or that (mother, father and brother from age 4 onwards - as he himself openly now emphasized wasn’t fair) - has become Dean’s entire “reason for existence”. He thinks of himself as only useful when he can be of service and that is one tragic and horrible way not only of thinking about yourself (as unworthy, etc.), but also to live, because as the show has highlighted again and again when Dean feels like he cannot be of help, he thinks he lacks a reason to live and slips even further into a depression that is always glowering there just underneath the surface.

Due to all of what I mentioned just yet, I personally find it highly unfortunate that some people tend to make Dean all about Sam or Cas, because it falls completely in the trap that causes Dean so many issues since he himself only views himself as an extension to someone else, but that by no means means that that is right - quite the opposite. And that is also one of the many issues I have with Dabb’s showrunning and S12 in particular as in seasons prior the narrative addressed the discrepancy of Dean feeling like he matters least, etc. but that the characters around him constantly showed that that is not the case, but only something happening inside Dean’s head. Now S12 blatantly made it text that Dean does indeed not matter himself and I will never not be absolutely disgusted about that, because throughout the entire season we saw Dean put down, his emotions ignored, lied to (really, the way the season started, Mary trampling all over her son, is so emblematic of what happened throughout the entire season as well) and none of the treatment he experienced got corrected in the end, but Dabb friggin decided that it is a stellar idea to have Dean only briefly express how his mother’s death shaped him and messed him up (and yes, I get that it is in line with who Dean is and how he thinks so little of himself and putsothers traumas and needs first while ignoring his own, because they seem less important - see how that narrative thread runs through the whole show?) but that ultimately Dean as a person once more would disappear by making it all about Sam and talking about how Sam suffered (never mind Dean did and does too) and it also only then that his friggin mother is showing any kind of interest in her son. Only when her one son talks about the other son. Yeah, nice work there. But really, what took the cake for me with all that was how Mary didn’t even wrap Dean into a hug when he fucking saved her, but she opts to fall into Sam’s arms. Sorry, but gahhhh, I’ll never not be epicly pissed off about this.

Considering all this I am not surprised when people tend to think Dean has no story of his own or that it doesn’t make sense without Deancas or Sam on the other hand, but to me as someone who is most interested in each character in their own right much more than in any possible pairing, it is frustrating, because you feel like you are an island and belong nowhere. But sorry, I got caught up in my disliking of S12, I’m trying to get back on track now.

So given all that and the whole aspect of Dean’s “lack of freedom” due to feelings of responsibility are a huge aspect that to me was integral in the entirety of the MoC arc and the Amara arc as to me it explored Dean’s feelings of inadequacy and showing and exploring how Dean may have always been the main symbol for “free will”, but rarely has had it himself. In that regard, and I know this may be an utterly unpopular opinion to many, I have always analyzed Dean’s MoC arc and his time as a demon as a sort of “rite of passage” that served as a setting stone for Dean’s liberation, because it was as a demon that for the first time Dean only did what he himself wanted. It’s of course just one small aspect of a much more complex overall storyline, but to me it is an integral part nonetheless. Dean wasn’t happy as a demon by a long shot, but he did only what he wanted without feeling bad about having wishes of his own.

During the MoC and Amara arc Dean’s lack of independency from the people closest to him was amplified by making Dean unable to control what happened within himself when he held the blade or was in Amara’s closer vicinity. He was other directed, a puppet that got its strings pulled and that thread has been an integral one for Dean since we saw him strung up in Hell and torn apart (literally) by ropes tearing him apart every which way. To me there couldn’t be a more fitting and sadder visual for how Dean spent his entire life: caught in the middle, trying to keep a family together that drifted apart and getting torn apart and ending up hurt and damaged by trying to keep all of it together.

So in a way Dean losing his agency to the mark and then later Amara was just the utter extreme of showing how Dean for most of his life has not lived and done what he himself wanted, but what others needed him to do. The theme is right there, right from the beginning of the show and culminates for the first time in S4 and S5 when Dean rejects to become and be what Heaven wants him to be. The same strength he showed in relation to Michael, he never was able to show when it came to things his father demanded of him for example. There is a a famous scene where Dean articulates that himself in “Sacrecrow” in S1

and it comes back up here and there across the seasons when Dean expresses that he wished he would have stood up against their father more, etc. - the entire episode 9x06 “Bad Boys” also shines a huge light on that whole topic as we get a glimpse of the Dean there, who was allowed to be just a teen without feeling burdened and responsible to join his father’s fight.

For me Dean’s entire arc spanning over the course of the show is a storyline about self discovery about coming of age and coming into his own (an no with that I don’t mean a “coming out”-story, though of course it could be worked in or rather go hand in hand with that, but Dean’s sexual liberation to me has never been an integral topic from the beginning of the show and explored deeply until now, whereas the other has - again everyone is open to disagree with me, I have no problems with anyone reading it different, but this is just my personal feeling on the matter). It’s a narrative focusing on identity for someone who has never truly had the chance to become who he would have been if he had never had to be what others needed him to be. Phew… that was a weird sentence, lol. Anybody else got a knot in their brain now? ;)

And last but not least (though frankly I could write like 10 times as much as I already did since this is such a complex question) since you bring up the heart symbolism. I don’t mean to piss anyone off, but the heart symbolism as such has been surrounding Dean long before Castiel even came into the show (and it’s one of my favorite topics aside from “Dean as a christ figure” and I’ve written countless meta on that topic - I’m gonna leave a bunch of links to metas behind the cut at the end of this meta, for anyone who is interested in talk about heart symbolism, liberation, Amara and MoC arc etc. - some may even feature Deancas, but 95%  are just about Dean - it is by no means all I have written on the topic, but a good start), so to me - while I have no problem with people connect the heart symbolism in recents seasons to Castiel and Dean - they aren’t connected to another character at all, but are solely a symbol and metaphor for Dean as a character, because Dean’s heart has always been his biggest asset, but also what makes him so vulnerable. Dean is the “heart” of the show, as he serves as the PoV character. But most of all the heart symbolism surrounding Dean to me also belongs to the whole identity thread. It is also after all that Dean’s metaphorical death and re-emergence as a demon as a stepping stone to his liberation and coming of age (the healing part is still hopefully to come) is brought on by him dying by being stabbed through the heart…

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/121901277911/this-is-easier-some-more-thoughts-on-the

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/69379178845/dean-winchesters-heart-is-a-puzzle

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/131476588721/11x02-form-and-void-shes-a-miracle

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/98552189146/this-is-a-story-a-marvelous-story-full-of-love

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/87629591461/go-right-ahead-put-a-blade-through-your

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/67585667715/of-werevolves-tin-men-dean-winchester-and-his

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/110615479616/dustydreamsanddirtyscarsdeans-physical-and

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/66175602035/things-about-9x05-dog-dean-afternoon-3

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/127498203661/the-original-serpent-3

#Anonymous #Ask #Dean love club #SPN Meta #Supernatural Meta #Dean Winchester Meta #Possible unpopular opinions #I suppose #Dean Winchester #Identity #Heart symbolism #Coming of age #Independence #Liberation #Mark of Cain #Amara #Loss of agency #Free will and the lack thereof #Also S12 criticism #And Andrew Dabb criticism #Queued

[elizabethrobertajones]

I'm a petty bitch but I don't like how Cas embraced Jack way more sweeter and gentler than Dean

Hey, don’t use such harsh words on yourself

I think we’re sort of meant to feel this way, for a couple of reasons. 

Firstly, the Cas is back reaction was mostly on Dean and then contrasting Dean to Sam’s reaction etc, so it was a very Winchester POV moment. Because Dean and Sam’s reaction to Cas drama has been tested and compared for years… I think the Cas possessed by Lucifer stuff was the first time it was specifically ABOUT their reactions rather than just taking it for granted there was a difference although 11x01 starts off the DeanCas thread we’re on now in the aftermath of the Mark and the resulting (spiralling) issues with Cas and Dean singled out in attention in that quick phone call, and it’s been getting worse from there, obviously cycling up into the Cas’s death stuff where the difference is inescapable. Dean was given the huge emotional lead in to the hug while Sam was already being treated differently in his reaction before they started hugging. 

I think in that context there had to be a balance of Sam and Dean’s hugs in that moment, and Cas’s reaction was more muted because he’s working on some different threads, including still thinking at that point the Winchesters brought him back but also aaall his issues from last season are at least hovering around still if not directly affecting him. I mean who knows, maybe he feels embarrassed Lucifer got him :P I’ve had some people explain now (check the notes here) they think Cas is potentially literally altered or they’re adjusting to having theorised he might be and obviously more critical of his behaviour in case it is betraying something, but I really don’t like taking just random actor behavioural cues to mean anything drastic has changed with their character without the story backing it up as more than just a thing happening in that moment with the portrayal… 

Since I never thought 12x23 broadcast anything strange happening to Cas with the AU and there’s been no reason broadcast this season to make us suspect Cas is anything other than himself - regardless of other issues it is our core main continuous Cas on screen when we’re meant to be seeing Cas - I’m continuing to just chillax and watch it as if Cas is Cas and nothing is WRONG wrong with him until proven otherwise. So if there’s anything about his reactions in that scene it’s probably down to the Empty unsettling him (he’s having memories of it which include the ghost-like fade out of himself which makes me feel like the complete cessation of his Self has shaken him, as it would anyone really, since we didn’t see him ghost-like fade out into darkness IN the Empty, so that’s his memory/impression/FEELING of what it was like) or there’s just the obvious ongoing issues with the Winchesters, which the Empty reminded us of very very loudly, and he’s obviously not telling them the contents of that discussion, because it went as far as warning him about who he loves, which is them, so, awkward, or to make a Destiel reading there, aaaaaawkwaaaaard. 

Secondly with Jack, again I think it is somewhat more about how Jack feels because we had the whole first half of 13x01 with him searching for Cas and the only thing he knew, the compulsion/idea he woke up with when he was born was that he had to find Cas so Cas would protect him. He was then thrown into an emotional grinder for 5 episodes, and now he’s juuust about settling in learning the Winchester way, but Sam and Dean are neither of them suitable guides in the way Cas accidentally signed himself up for in 12x19 with that rousing speech about looking after Jack properly. 

So it sort of marks the end of Jack’s search, and Jack reached out for Cas because he missed him, and, unknowingly, Cas dragged himself back to life because of Jack, and again unknowingly, FOR Jack, but now he’s here, and Jack needs him. I suspect this will all get more critical of the “angels are watching over you” bond because that’s NOT a good phrase and I’ve been using it as my Mary to the guys (in the 2x13/5x13 dramatic irony context) and Cas to the Winchesters tag in season 12, but now I think it is very much about Cas’s issues with being a guardian angel, which were laid bare in 12x19 when he explained his motivations. 

Jack is someone who genuinely *needs* Cas in a way Dean protests they don’t in 12x19. He (and Sam) want Cas to be an equal in their family, and for them to fight together and to share in their troubles. Cas perpetually takes on these burdens to protect them (like Lucifer in 11x10 as well) and it’s not healthy, to the degree that I think it’s being called out and deconstructed on the same level the codependency has been addressed in recent seasons. In season 12 there was a lot of build up to this and I think this is how it’s paying out - in Cas’s part of what Jack means, mirrors or represents is a bond which is separate from his original TFW bonds so it can be critiqued or stretched or even temporarily broken at some point, in order to be practically a case study… Or else at the very least to take the weight off of him having to guard the Winchesters as their pet angel, which is a terrible arrangement. 

Jack’s shaken up all their dynamics, but it’s fascinating to me just to have their reunion because of course it’s important - it’s been what Jack asked for in the opening word of the season, and Jack’s been the reason why everything has happened for a while, including both Cas’s death and resurrection. Cas as well has had the whole arc coming back to them, and he’s never MET Jack properly before and it’s the core relationship to all of this nonsense in the opening part of the season because it’s the strangest part of it all and has the most baggage before they even meet. 

Now Cas and Jack have met, things of course went wrong and now things are being tested for Cas… He’s still integral and core to the story so I’m not surprised there’s been a huge focus on him and Jack at all. Especially as because he was dead all the stuff so far about Cas in the main part of the story has been Dean intensely missing Cas, so it’s been one-sided for Dean, and Dean’s reaction to Cas being back is the flipside of that, while Cas didn’t get a whole huge thing about mourning Dean, so despite being back from death, he doesn’t have the same bundle of exposed nerves Dean has about the entire thing because he didn’t go through the same trauma but about Dean. 

Eurgh, I don’t know, there’s such a weird sense of rivalry about Jack being introduced to the dynamic, I don’t know if you and others and just pinging the idea subconsciously or if I’m missing wank about it because my dash is nice, but first people were worried he was replacing Cas, now you’re feeling jealous on Dean’s behalf… I think Jack can be integrated into the family and he’s got his OWN relationships with their own reasons and motivations that aren’t taking away or overriding anyone else. 

I was thinking about how Dean had a shoulder grab for Jack in 13x04 just to stop and warn him not to talk and blow their cover (and called him “spock” which may suit Cas more than him >.>) and then of course Cas and Jack had shoulder-holding moments. I think that in no way overrides Cas and Dean’s shoulder language, just like Dean or Lucifer using shoulder grabbing as power plays in various dynamics (5x04 and 11x11 for Lucifer, 12x16 against Mick for Dean for examples) changes what the shoulder grab  means between Dean and Cas, because their specific language of it has been erotically charged since 4x01 and all of season 4 really. It’s something that has its own particular meaning and feeling, but at the same time you can loop back around to it as a bond of trust, and that can’t be never used again by other characters on the show ever. I’m sure Sam or Dean have done it to each other, or Bobby to them or some random thing like that. Things can branch off, just like how the “crypt scene” parallels have turned into a fractal of meanings. 

I think we (as a general commentary, not you specifically anon) might just have too rigid readings of the show, that we can’t allow for things to mean different things than what we originally interpret. Some of that might be because it’s like… hostile interpretation, where it’s us against the show and against people who hate meta and think it’s bollocks for one reason or another. If we get a strong dictionary of  meanings going and then something contradicts it, the response is backlash rather than intellectual curiosity, and being accused of being wrong, instead of being able to ask why things are different, or to build elaborate pictures where we have room for things to stretch and for the stories to grow and change. 

Anyway it is just a knee jerk response you have so I don’t think you should blame yourself, but I hope you can have a more open mind and think about if the show WANTS you to knee-jerk react and just in a fandom context it feels way too important and overkill while general audience are still floundering around like “but there was no hello dean!” which is the real and only sentiment the writing may have been trying to leave a lasting impression over or something :P

#Asks #obviously that last line is a hypothetical #I don't think there's a 'real' reading or that we should be so hung up on intent #I also kinda feel grumpy that fandom has got so absolute on all sides because I like the meta playground #and I still hang out there but I may be seen as kind of wishy washy or I don't know what #13x06 #destiel #nougat winchester

[mittensmorgul]

I know there have been times in the series where people were in love with the idea of Cas giving up his grace for Dean or dying for him or making some other big sacrifice. And I just really really hate that idea? It reminds me too much of the unhealthy brodependency cycle. I don't want to see Cas become human like that, forced to under duress or making his ultimate life goal be about "bleeding for the Winchesters." We're getting past that. So I'm glad S10 didn't do the grace cure for example.

Hi there… I feel like I should make at least one disclaimer here before I even start to reply to this…

Disclaimer #1: I am not now, nor have I ever been in love with the idea of Cas giving up his grace FOR Dean, or dying FOR Dean. You used the words “forced” and “under duress.” You even referenced his line from 7.22 about “bleeding for the Winchesters.” Out of context that does sound really bad, and I’ll get to why below, but I really don’t get any of these objections to Cas giving up his grace, because they seem to ignore Cas’s own free will to make that choice for himself, you know? More on that in a second. First,

Disclaimer #2: Hi, I’m MittenWraith and you may remember me from such fanfic offerings as Revenge of the Subtext, which was essentially a rewrite of the end of s10 (that spared Charlie first off) and gave Cas the agency to CHOOSE to give up his grace, not because he was forced to, but because doing so (at the time in canon at the end of s10) also gave him everything he wanted– to be able to stay with Dean and NOT have to watch him murder the world, to finally free himself from the politics and feelings of duty to Heaven (which he’s since essentially declared his loyalty first to the Winchesters over and above Heaven… telling Kelvin to his face that he’s not doing any of this for any sort of redemption in Heaven, he doesn’t even care about that anymore, and referring to the Winchesters as his “family” and the other angels as his “men”). Cas has dissociated HIMSELF from Heaven of his own free will. To his way of thinking, using that grace to save Dean from an eternity of torment was merely a side benefit, you know?

I think we’re approaching this from two fundamentally different basic assumptions about Castiel. I’m not certain if there’s anything I can say that will help you see it from another angle here… but folks keep asking, so I’ll keep trying…

I started writing a thesis (I’m calling it that because it’s gonna be long, and structured like a doctoral dissertation. Hell, I might even write an abstract… it’s gonna be involved) on Castiel’s entire character arc as represented through his struggle for agency and free will against the blind obedience to Heaven that has been forcibly reprogrammed into angels who deviate from their orders. This is the lens through which all of Cas’s development has occurred. As for my thesis, it’s currently stalled out because writing deadlines for pinefest demand I work on that first, and I’ve only covered Cas’s first eight episodes out of 100 and already the paper is more than 1k, so clearly it’s gonna take an astounding amount of time that I just don’t have right now for me to actually research and write…

Point is, even in those first eight episodes (4.01, 4.02, 4.03, 4.07, 4.09, 4.10, 4.15, 4.16), this is already his main conflict as a character. Duty and obedience to heaven versus thinking for himself and doing what he personally feels is right. We see him push back against his orders in 4.18 giving Dean information that will help him “defy prophecy” for the first time, and then we see him attempt to make a complete break with Heaven in 4.20 only to be captured and dragged back for “angel boot camp.” When he returns to his vessel, he’s entirely back to Full Obedience Mode as a function of his grace having been tinkered with in Heaven. Anna lampshades just how horrible what was being done to him there really was, just as Dean lampshaded just how unhappy Anna was when she was given no other choice but to take her own grace back on in 4.10. Her free will, her choice to be human was taken away from her and she did “what she had to do.”

Worst. Phrase. On the show. Ever.

In 8.23 Cas may have had his grace taken from him against his will, but he tried to make the best of it. He struggled with his sudden humanity, but by 9.06 he’d made his peace with it.

CASTIEL: No, Dean. (He puts the box on the counter and turns to face DEAN.) I’m not. I failed at being an angel. Everything I ever attempted came out wrong. But here … at least I have a shot at getting things right. I guess you can’t see it, but … there’s a real dignity in what I do – human dignity.

His entire conversation with Ephraim underscores just how he feels now, and truly introduces this question for the first time:

EPHRAIM: Shh-shh-shhh. It’ll be over soon. I’ll take the pain away.CASTIEL: I want to live.EPHRAIM: But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?

(hey lookie there’s my tag for this entire concept…) but then there’s this:

EPHRAIM: You say you want to live. But you can’t see what I see. By choosing a human life, you’ve already given up. You … chose … death.

Because to Ephraim, who it’s been established has NO understanding of human pain, of human emotions at all, ANY pain is something worth killing over. Even a teenage girl being “sorta bummed” about her boyfriend breaking up with her. To him, ANY human emotions were a pain not worth suffering.

Meanwhile Cas had been doing everything in his power to SAVE HIMSELF, attempting to draw a banishing sigil in blood, cutting his hand on the rose thorns, until Dean managed to toss the angel blade to him and he could kill Ephraim before Ephraim killed him. Cas’s will to live was greater than his desire to only live as an angel. Even if he hadn’t fully chosen humanity for himself back then, he had passed step one of the test and chosen life.

This concept is underscored again when Cas describes to Sam why Dean would cling so hard to being a demon in 10.03:

SAM: What the hell are we doing to him, Cas? I mean, even after I gave him all that blood, he still said he didn’t want to be cured, that he didn’t want to be human.CASTIEL: Well… I see his point. You know, only humans can feel real joy, but … also such profound pain. This is easier.

Cas understands, because he’s experienced the same thing… he KNOWS the real joy and profound pain of being human now, and he also knows what it’s like to not be able to feel those things– not because he knows what it’s like to be a demon, but because he believes it’s similar enough to what it feels like being an angel. Now if that’s not horrifying, and if it doesn’t say bucketloads about Cas’s own personal regret about his own “I did what I had to do” moment in 9.09, in stealing Theo’s grace in what amounted to a sacrifice of his OWN humanity in order to save Dean… Tell me if ANY of this sounds like Cas is happy with this non-choice:

CASTIEL (on the phone) : Dean, I don’t have a lot of time, so listen. The leader of the opposition is an angel named Malachi.DEAN: How do you know that?CASTIEL: He had me. I, uh, I was tortured. But I got away.DEAN: How?CASTIEL: I… I did what I had to. I became what they’ve become. A barbarian.DEAN: What are you – Cas, where are you?CASTIEL: It’s better I stay away. They’re gonna want me even more now. But I’m gonna be all right. I… I got my Grace back. Well, not mine per se, but it’ll do.DEAN: Wait, you’re – you’re back? You got your mojo?CASTIEL: I’m not sure. But I am an angel.DEAN: And you’re okay with that?CASTIEL: If we’re going to war, I need to be ready.DEAN: (pause) Cas.CASTIEL: Dean. There’s more.DEAN: What?CASTIEL: Didn’t you say Sam was healed by an angel named Ezekiel?DEAN: Uh… Yeah, why?CASTIEL: Ezekiel is dead.DEAN: What?CASTIEL: He died when the angels fell.DEAN’s face has a very concentrated “oh this is bad” expression.

A VERY CONCENTRATED “OH THIS IS BAD” EXPRESSION

Under torture by Theo, Cas had asked for a quick death, until he heard that Ezekiel had died in the fall, and realized that Dean had trusted Ezekiel to help heal Sam… THIS INFORMATION WAS WORTH DOING “WHAT HE HAD TO DO” just to be sure that Sam and Dean were safe from this unknown angel that HE had personally vouched for… that we’ve just learned is actually Gadreel…

IT’S ALL A HUGE MESS.

To me, Cas’s decision to take on another angel’s grace was just as much of a non-choice as Metatron stealing his original grace had been. And to Cas, WHAT he is doesn’t necessarily matter as much as the fact that HE CHOSE IT FOR HIMSELF.

Every single time he’s done what he had to do, every time his agency’s been taken from him, the vehicle that made it possible was his grace.

He’s been asked over and over again for years if he’s really an angel (and been told to his face by numerous other angels that he ISN’T an angel anymore), he’s been called a tool and told he was only marginally useful… and yet he’s been called Family and welcomed unconditionally by the Winchesters. Mostly because they’re not FORCING him to be anything in particular, you know?

As to your “Always happy to bleed for the Winchesters” from 7.21, I’ve written a lot about Cas’s mental state in late s7 here, which goes a long way to give a fuller context to that line. Out of context, it sounds very different to seeing how it fits with the entire picture of Cas’s late s7 guilt. In a lot of ways, running away from his responsibility (think “I don’t fight I watch the bees” and constantly referring to himself and his actions in the third person, with “An angel brought the Leviathan back into this world, and – and they begged him. They begged him not to do it.”). It took redeeming himself in some small measure by helping to send the Leviathan back to Purgatory in 7.23 for him to even BEGIN to integrate himself again… And then begins his depression/atonement arc that includes his ongoing battle with his own agency via his choice to remain in Purgatory, his complete loss of agency to Naomi, and then Metatron… this has ALWAYS been what has driven and defined Castiel’s narrative, and every bit of character development he’s ever experienced.

And it’s ALWAYS been tied to his identity as an angel and the very existence of his grace. And even HE has said that he doesn’t identify as an angel anymore or feel allied to Heaven, but like Demon Dean clinging to whatever it was that made him a demon because it was easier not to feel that pain, like Soulless Sam desperate to do anything to prevent himself from being reunited with his soul, Cas is still holding on to his grace in a similar way (narratively speaking).

(thing is, once Dean was cured of the Mark and once Sam was reunited with their soul, they were GRATEFUL not to have been left in that unfeeling state, you know? they’ll take the pain, because it beats “being a stepford bitch in paradise.”)

Cas believes he needs his grace to be “useful,” despite already beginning to understand how the Winchesters see him as family. I don’t believe that Cas will be given a “no choice” scenario in which he’ll feel compelled to sacrifice his grace in an emergency situation, as some sort of “throwing himself on a grenade” because he had no other choice. The entire POINT is that it would be his freely-made CHOICE.

No matter WHAT he chooses. I’m not saying he absolutely must give up his grace. I’m saying that every sign and every conflict that’s driven his narrative development over the last 9 seasons has been leading him along this path where eventually he WILL have that choice. And when that time comes, I believe that what he eventually will choose for himself (because he wants it) is to live out a human life with the Winchesters.

I am REALLY looking forward to 13.04, because I think we’re going to gain a LOT of insight into Cas’s current emotional/mental state. And HOW he comes back from his current state of not-aliveness is going to be key to understanding what’s in store for him over the next season. So until then, I’m going to stand by this analysis.

#Anonymous #castiel winchester #are you an angel or a man castiel? (hint: he's no angel) #you learned it from the goats #spn 7.21 #spn 9.06 #spn 10.22 #spn 10.03 #spn 7.23 #spn 8.23 #and probably a lot more episodes but I'm currently burdened by fever delirium and i'm just happy that this reply is marginally coherent #and i do feel that the insistence that cas MUST retain his grace ignores the fact that it might not be what cas himself would even want #so we have both sides of the debate believing the other side doesn't care about what cas would choose for himself #when in reality all i want for cas is for him to be able to make that choice for himself... #i just haven't seen anything in the narrative that would point to the fact that his eventual choice will be to remain an angel #and everything points to him eventually choosing to be human #or else what is the point of repeatedly asking him that question anyway you know? #spn 4.22 #on the nature of angel grace #angels and souls #that's what free will is #and grace is sorta the antithesis of that...

[grapsandclaps]

GRAPS AND CLAPS REVIEWS - PCW 'MASTERS OF THE FYLDE COAST'

Hello and welcome everyone to another edition of Graps and Claps this time taking me on a trip to Blackpool for Night One of a PCW Weekender and also the return of Chris Masters to a PCW ring, so without further ado let's get into my day out.

Whilst the world and its wife was in Oberhausen having the best time ever, I was instead looking for the new Northern Monk Brewery pub in Manchester which has just opened in the last week in the old Kosmonaut pub and on first look there hasn't been much change in the furnishings but for a couple of new signs and that's about it.

Drinks wise, there are around 20 beers on tap costing anywhere between £4 - £6 a pint, plus an array of cans from the Northern Monk collection which is a vast collection. I myself on this afternoon had a 4.2% £5.50 pint of Don't Mess With Manchester that was quite fruity in taste but nowhere near the alcohol content of our Geoff's Imperial Barrel Aged Dick Kicker. With that said this is certainly a place to visit if you are in the city.

Next pub was Port Street Beer House who were having a Siren Brewery Tap Takeover, but with that said I have probably already had all of their drinks in bottles before today, so the choice of what I haven't had was slim to none. So I plumped for a 3.8% £5 pint of Yulu which was alright but not one of their best efforts.

Final pub before we set off to Blackpool was The Piccadilly Tap to get a taste of Germany that we were missing this weekend with a pint of Kostrizer Black Lager, sadly though even though it went down well it was lacking a bit in flavour where if we were in Germany it probably would have found its flavour.

Arriving in Blackpool for 5pm, we made a visit to two lesser visited pubs/bars in Blackpool, first of was The Hop which is maybe the closest pub to the station, this pub has plenty of seating and also big space for a pool table and 2 dartboards. Drink selection is up there with the best for real ale in Blackpool with 4 cask ales and around the same number on the cold tap, also costing under the £3 marker.

Next up was a place called Bootleg Social which comes under the Pieminster banner of bars and pubs, this on first look, looks like a new concert venue that has been introduced into the town and I would say it is a welcome addition to a place which is in need of places like this.

Drinks on offer were cans of beer from Signature Brewery of London costing £6 for 2 cans anything ranging from Vienna style lager to Stout, we also had a pool table (£1 a go) and a band who was playing that evening do a soundcheck which in no uncertain terms sounded like Ilja Dragunov's noise what he came out to at Wembley. Toilets in this place were a solid 8/10, very clean and well kept it just needed more decoration in the walls.

A swift pint or two was had in the two Wetherspoons with a Phoenix Brewery West Coast IPA being the highlight costing £1.59 with my 50p Camra discount taken off. Drinks done it was time to get into Blackpool Tower Circus for the evening's action, so lets get into what went down!

With an attendance of 400 which was alright considering that I found out off Promoter Steven Fludder that outside the venue was supposedly one of Blackpool's biggest nigbts away from the illuminations with a show that was being headlined by Sooty and Sweep.

Show started 30 minutes late, due to wrestlers being stuck in traffic and some not turning up for one reasons or another e.g Sha Samuels on a last minute bino in Amsterdam, Adam Brooks having to go back to Australia because his mum isn't too well and so on and so on.

First match up on this evening was a tag team match with the ever confident James Finn and Dave Birch taking on A.C Stryker who has been making a name for himself on the PCW undercard and he was teaming with Kieran Kelly who plys his trade on the underground Scottish scene.

On first impression Kieran did well for himself hitting a couple of dives and not looking fazed on his PCW debut, he is in a singles match with Philip Michael on the Leeds show so I look forward to that. Sadly for Kieran and A.C they ended up on the losing side of things as Finn and Birch hit an assisted Lung Blower with Finn hitting a move which can only be described as the following :- Cock Block/Penis Punch/Dick Dive for the 3 count.

2nd match was a Teacher vs Student match with the returning Philip Michael who hasn't been seen in PCW for a couple of months now despite being one of the best up and comers on its roster and he was taking on our boy Ashton Smith who as ever came out to myself bellowing his theme tune at the top of my voice (proper 'Mania style entrance).

Opening of this match was a feeling out process with both using counter for counter holds trying to outwit each other. Phil along the way hit a perfect plex and a face first buster for a 2 count, whilst Ashton hit a slice legdrop for a 2 count.

When Ashton was trying for a bridge pin to end the contest, it was reversed by Phil into a pinning combination of his own for the win to end what was probably match of the night and welcome sight to see Philip back in a PCW ring.

Third match was Joey Hayes taking on Twitter Favourite Bram. Now I have to be honest here and say that I didn't pay much attention to this match as we were chatting with Fludder during this (as always good value). What I did catch though was the finish as Joey Hayes hit a DDT of sorts to put away Bram in just under 10 minutes, after the match to add insult to injury Bram was chased around the tower circus circle by the kids of Blackpool baying for his blood haha 😂😂.

I think this might have been the moment where Blackpool Tower Circus officials got in PCW's ear to do announcement later in the show to tell parents to keep kids in there seats or they would shut the show down - darn circus killjoys.

Anyways I digress, we then had a Tel Banham Tel-ebration who was out to gloat about being a double champion but not before he was interrupted by Chris Masters who asked Banham if he wanted to test himself in a Masterlock Challenge but Banham was having none of it as he sent his mate BIG T in to do his bidding in this Masterlock Challenge with T locking in the full nelson on Masters.

Sadly for T, Masters was able break the lock by kicking T in the Balls but this only led to Banham, T and Iestyn Rees who had ran in to lay a beatdown on Masters until Dean Allmark and Matthew Brooks interrupted to set up a 6-man tag team main event later in the show.

Next we had Sheikh El-Sham vs T-Bone in a Blackpool Street Fight which was announced by T-Bone during a talking segment between the two where El-Sham was trying to pay T-Bone off so he wouldn't have a match with him.

As good as Sheikh at talking, this talking segment did seem to go a bit long with some of the crowd chanting 'Boring' which is a bit of a shame. When we did get down to action, this as ever went all around the circus with many children trying to get out of the way of flying fists and boots from both Sham and Bone.

Once we got back to the ring, T-Bone was well on his way to victory but not until Bram came up from behind and DDT'd Bone to leave Sham to pick up the scraps and pin the former PCW Champion - This was alright but a bit of an overly long segment as stated before.

Before the next match we had the announcement that the 23rd November at Blackpool Tower Circus had been double booked in the room, so PCW were having to move the show to the 3rd floor and a Jungle Jim's which supposedly you can fit a wrestling ring in. Here is what it looks like 👀

Semi main time we had a PCW Women's title match with Jennie B taking on the Champion Nightshade. This was a short and swift match with Nightshade dominating from the early bell and finishing off poor Jennie after spraying hairspray in her eyes while the referee was distracted to retain her PCW Women's title.

After the match Nightshade went to beat down Jennie but out came Rhio to make the save and set up for the 23rd November another match between the two in of all things - a blindfold match - My Word 😞😞 This feud must end sometime???

Main Event time next with Iestyn Rees, Tel Banham and BIG T vs Dean Allmark, Matthew Brooks and Chris Masters in a 6-man tag team match. Early part of this match was the baddies beating down on Brooks and Deano but it wasn't until Masters got involved that things changed for the good guys.

With the end in sight, Brooks went to clothesline BIG T over the top rope at the second attempt which he succeded in doing but Banham snuck up from behind to take Brooks out, but when Tel turned around he was caught with a Superkick from Deano and then finished off with the Smiles Clash for the 3 count to send the crowd home happy into the Blackpool Wet Night.

Overall this show had 2/3 good matches with Philip Michael vs Ashton Smith being the standout to probably watch back, but being honest it was possibly a skipable show but the company and the day out was still a really good one.

I arrived back in Rochdale for 1 a.m after watching some of the closing moments of the Oberhausen Open which looked great fun and well done to those who organised this for people after the wrestling in Germany, hopefully they do this in March when I am back over there.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this and I will see you next time with a review of PCW's debut in Leeds, so until then - BYE!!

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. XCVIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

The Mirror

(13x09/13x10)

Hi there!!! We are here today to talk about Mirrors. A very known Destiel mirror in the fandom: Claire and Kaia and and Patience as a switch mirror between Castiel and Jack.

The One that Walks between Worlds

Episode 13x09 starts with Jack and the Dream Walker.

That scene recalled me to Constantine movie scene in which Keanu put his feet in water and takes a cat, because he said Cats where a portal between this world and the after life dimension.

Well, Jack is the cat her, he's the portal between worlds and also, he's a resume of all of them himself: HELL/HEAVEN AND EARTH.He is Light and Dark (that's why Amara ended up being part of him).

We jump into the scene with Sam and Dean. Dean asks about Cas because we have Asmodeus calling them using Castiel's voice, they don't suspect nothing.

Then, Dean calls Patience, but the girl doesn't answer.

She's under his father's commands. Just like Castiel was with Heaven, but she's receiving Dean's calls, as Castiel did, and she will end up answering and rejecting his father plans for her.

Not Just we have a Castiel mirror here, but also Jack: because we will see him interacting with Lucifer in this season, listening to his plans for him. And Jack will end up following his heart, and rejecting all of those plans.

Visual Narrative

There's a quick scene when Sam and Dean parks Baby in front of a painted wall.

This was something that @gneisscastiel explains magnificently in this meta here.

The wall had this drawing...

Pic credit: @lets-steal-an-archive

Berens delivered us an episode in which an artist (the Dream Walker) painted the different worlds he had dreamt. And now, we have this wall here, the writer wants us to pay attention to it: As it was described by @gneisscastiel, the blue wings represents Castiel, in front of the huge number of yellow birds (angel) as if they were being guided by the kid (Jack in blue) and Castiel back to Heaven. The Restoration of Heaven. Wich was what happened at the en of the show, and what I suspect, intended to be one of the main plots in season 15, that see the light properly, just in a few words said by Bobby to Dean in Heaven.

Playing with mirrors: Patience, Jack and Castiel

To continue with this game of switching mirrors, we hear Jack saying this to Sam and Dean:

Jack: You don't... I'm– I'm doing this for you.

If this is not. Cas mirror, I don't know then heheh.

It was the excuse Castiel gave to Dean on seasonn6 in their first break up. As if that could justify go into the dark side. Well, Jack won't go into the dark side in a way Castiel did turning into Godstiel, but he will be souless in season 14 Wich will be a huge problem.

There's another visual element with an image of Jesus Christ crucified, which always was a reference for Jack, as the Savior, the Messiah.

Another thing to point out is Dean in soldier mode, focused, just like Cas is about Jack. This is important because that's the idea Dean will express to Castiel in a future.

And back to Patience...

Patience: You raised me to do what's right, and this is what's right. If I don't go, people will die.

This could be taken the moment Cas decided to fall and how Jack will take his decisions, based on what his new family will teach him.

And then Kaia...

Kaia: I mean, you picked the wrong bait. I'm not the kind of girl folks come for. In this world, I don't even rank a milk carton. No one is gonna come for me. I'm not white, rich, blonde. No one's gonna fight for me. I don't matter.

This point of view full of sadness and depression, is related with Castiel in season 12. There's patrons in Kaia behaviors that reminds us to Castiel in season 12, where we had his death. And that's because Kaia will repeat Castiel's ending in the next episode.

Repeating the ending of season 12

Episode 13x10 starts with Claire hunting, but also Jody calling her by the phone saying this:

JODY (on the phone with CLAIRE)

They were on a hunting trip and I haven’t heard from them in a few days. It’s time to come home.

A recalling to episode 'Pilot'.

But let's focus in Kaia and Claire relationship:

At first it's a kind of enemies to friends trope, just like Dean and Castiel.

When they're talking about their scars, Kaia reaches out her finger to touch Claire's forehead. Just like Cas does when he heals Dean. But the symbolo of talking about their scars, is related to Destiel too. How one broken man with too many scars found love and comfort in a broken angel with his own scars too.

KAIA: You’re scared.

CLAIRE:

Yeah. Jody always said I’d get myself killed, hunting, and I’d be like, good. If I’m going to go out then that’s how I want to do it, doing something great. But Patience’s vision… It’s one thing thinking that you’re going to die but actually knowing it? For once a part of me kinda just wants to sit back and let Jody handle it, you know? Stay safe. But Sam and Dean saved my life and I can’t sit this one out.

KAIA: Then don’t. If you go, I’ll go with you. Maybe together we can save them.

Kaia talking about her own death is a blatant mirror of Dean and Kaia saying "I'll go with you" is Cas. As a demonstration of his devotion and incondicional love towards the hunter. And, of course, loyalty to the end.

Kaia supposed dead it's similar to Castiel's. With a rift to another world involved.

But also the trope: two lovers separated by a rift to two different dimensions, is just how Destiel ended up in 15x18.

To Conclude:

Wauwards Sisters had en entire episode and one prelude because the idea was to make a spin-off with their story which, sadly, never saw the light.

But the repetition of the Destiel tragedy with Kaia and Claire, giving them a very romantic atmosphere, and the Berens admitting that was written to be a Destiel mirror, is another evidence that Castiel dying and suffering as he suffered was because he's in love with Castiel.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-d @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@destielle @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel @2musiclover2 @madronasky @anon-non2 @cea1996 @lisafu02 @asphodelesauvage @destiels-canonahhhhhhhhhh

If you wan to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you wanna read the previous metas from season 12 here you have the links:

Vol. XCIII, XCIV, XCV, XCVI, XCVII

Buenos Aires, January 31 2021 2:21 PM

#destiel #destiel meta #destiel chronicles #Supernatural meta #season 13 meta #13x09 meta #13x10 meta #vol. xcviii #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #tfw 2.0 #jack kline #claire novak #kaia nieves #destiel mirror #castiel mirror #patience #jack mirror #wayward sisters #jody mills