#don't know what to do

[dreaming0fdistantgalaxies]

Just wish I could get past the overwhelming loneliness they left me with

#really struggling with this today #sorry just in my feelings #mine #don't know what to do

[messedupfan]

Taylor Sloane Draft (Might Not Continue)

A/n: Hello! I thought I'd share something from the drafts that I've kind of abandoned haha. So read at your own discretion that this is possibly all that you'll get from this story. But I am open to any and all ideas, so if you have one let me know in the comments, asks, or even my dms. Enjoy!

Taylor plays with the ring on her finger. She has just accepted a proposal from a man she didn’t love, but that was good for her image. She downs the rest of her champagne and makes a face. She didn’t enjoy the beverage at all, but it was an expensive bottle that he bought special for the occasion. Although it was a sham, he said it was still something to be celebrated. And he wasn’t wrong. Taylor Sloane was no longer going to just be known as a freelance photographer and social media influencer. She was going to be the fiancé of a respected actor who is at the height of his career. Which means that she is going to be getting a lot of attention once their publicists have the photos of their secret engagement “leaked” to the press. 

Looking out on the balcony of the restaurant, she can’t admire the view of the city much without being haunted by the memory of the first time she saw it. With you. It wasn’t at a fancy restaurant like this. No, back then the two of you could barely afford to splurge on McDonalds. It was after the first month of living in California. She was losing hope on ever getting an apprenticeship with a professional photographer. She hated the part-time job she had so she could help pay the bills. She was losing all hope of ever achieving her goals and chasing her dreams. 

 So, to cheer her up and help remind her where she is and of the endless possibilities, you grabbed her camera and drove her to the Hollywood sign. The two of you couldn’t actually get to the sign with security lurking around. But you could hike above it without getting into trouble. At the top of Mount Lee in the middle of the night, Taylor found inspiration again. You handed her the camera and she took a few different shots. She kissed you and thanked you well into the next morning. She truly loved you the best that she knew how. 

Taylor looks at the ring and scoffs. There was a time when she believed the only person to ever put a ring on her finger would be you. Now she was far from that ever happening today. It was rare for her to regret her decision. Until it came to moments like these that woke her up. That reminded her of what she lost on her way here. 

“I think this is going to be great,” Chris says as he joins her side. “Are you okay?” 

Taylor flashes a quick smile at him and moves her gaze back to the city. She knew you had to be living in one of the neighborhoods. But she couldn’t know for certain. The two of you lost touch a long time ago and she could never find you on social media. The mutual friends the two of you had together haven’t spoken to her in years because eventually Taylor blew them off as well. They were holding her back, is what she would tell herself anytime she missed any of them. Including you. “I’m going to be, just, this isn’t how I imagined my first marriage. Maybe second or third,” she quips. 

He laughs and looks down for a second, “I understand, and we still don’t have to go through with this. Y’know? It’s in the contract, we’re allowed to bow out at any point.”

“No, I’m not saying,” she turns her whole body towards him. “I’m okay. We’re going to make a great power couple for the next few years. And who knows, it might last longer than that,” she leans in to give him a kiss. He smiles against her lips. 

“I’m happy to hear that you want to make this work,” he kisses her back and brings her closer to him. “I never saw this for myself either but I think this will be the best decision of my career. Maybe even my life.” 

Taylor felt the exact opposite. She was already regretting this one so much. But she doesn’t show it. She hums as she kisses him again. She pats his chest and the two separate. 

After they go their separate ways for the night, Taylor goes driving around town. She doesn't really leave the house to explore anymore. Anytime she goes out it's only to promote a place that has paid her to be there. But tonight, for the first time in a long time, she doesn't want to do anything that will boost her image. That was well taken care of for now. 

“You really want to drive across the country?” You ask skeptically after Taylor presented her idea to you. Graduation was creeping closer and closer. The both of you hoped you would have access to more money by now. But life was too tempting and the “You only live once,” mentality wasn't financially beneficial. 

Taylor assumed she'd have access to her trust fund straight out of college but with the example she showcased to her parents in the past four years — not to mention how Nicky blew through his in a matter of months — the Sloane's only saw it fitting for Taylor to have to work a little harder for her money. She wasn't eligible for access until she was thirty-five. However, she could have it sooner if she got married and had a stable job. 

Taylor knows that you would have easily married her if she asked. But she didn't want that to be the story. Even if she never told you that was why. She would know and it would eat her alive because that's not what you deserved. 

Your parents gave you access to your money after you graduated high school. They thought you would be responsible with the money but with the spring break and summer vacation trips you paid for and the weekends spent in clubs, and the expensive dates and gifts that you would get for your girlfriend all started to add up and left you with barely enough to get you and Taylor something to rent in California. Not a nice place either. And there wasn't much left over to help the two of you get there. Not unless you drove across the country as Taylor has suggested.

“Come on, it could be an adventure,” Taylor boasts. 

You laugh because she was volunteering to sleep in the car packed with yours and hers belongings when she was known for refusing to sleep anywhere that wasn't a five star hotel. But you haven't seen her so willing to do something like this. “Okay, yeah, we could do it. As long as I’m not the only one driving.”

#taylor sloane #y/n x taylor sloane #unfinished #stuck #don't know what to do #messedupfan drafts

[glazzzeee]

help????

how do I erase messages that have been sent to me..like the chats themselves from sheeple I do not wanna interact with and yet their messages sit well, in the Messages-also im too afraid to open the actual chat so idk maybe you do that from there but I really don't wanna look at these messages..(does this make sense am I making sense I have no clue)

#tumblr #info #don't know what to do

[alexxisokay]

I guess I don't know you

Why do you even bother 

With me? 

I mean there are so many other

People who see something in you, 

But I can't say the same for myself.  

So what do you see in me? 

You converse so easily, you 

Always have something to say 

While i can’t even find the right words 

So i fall silent.  

I can think of a million things to say 

Once the conversation is over and you’re gone, 

It drives me crazy. 

I know i’m pretty and nice

And i care about you, but is that it? 

Is the reason you entertain me, 

Because i’m interested in you? 

I wouldn’t be surprised,

It’s not the first time that’s 

Happened to me. 

You said it yourself,

You barely know me and I 

Barely know you. 

Those words cut deeper

Then a 6 inch blade.  

I guess I don't know you

#original poem #poetry #slam poets on tumblr #poem #short poem #poems and poetry #poets on tumblr #slam poetry #tumbler tusday #writers and poets #txt post #txt #the used #what do you see #why do i even bother #why am i like this #don't know what to do #i don't know you #spilled ink #struggle #what do you want #why me #spilled words #my words #orginal writing #alexxisokay #alexxisokay poem

[stevepasztor]

#wasted life #anxiety #depression #stuck in life #don't know what to do #haunted

[lucyvaleheart]

.

#too tired to explain #just. vent post #tw for like. suicide and stuff and things #sorry #just wanna kill myself. #don't even have strong feelings on it #just want to #keep thing about trying out cutting #starting to feel reasonable #don't know what to do #sigh #going to sleep after posting this so if I don't respond to anything that's why

[research-and-survive]

Clearly gave up on keeping track of my days and doing that 100 days of productivity thing... 😥🙃🤦‍♀️

I'm not sure what happened there, but I sort of just wanted to give up... Work is not going anywhere, I feel like I just can't do it, which is not helping... Not sure how I'm gonna get out of this, but I'll try, and I'll try to get back to posting when I feel better again!

#phdlife #phdblr #research assistant #researchers #honest academia #studyblr #motivation #biomedical engineering #engineer #academia #100 days of productivity #having some bad weeks #i feel like shit #Don't know what to do

[annaizscribbling]

*Googling* how stop panic attack fast now

#in the trenches #issue at work i need to fix but am struggling immensely #don't know what to do #brain is caving in #tummy going crazy #anxiety be tripping #anxiety #guys #those grounding exercises do not work for me because my awareness of the situation IS the problem #fuck

[heeseungspookie]

My thoughts on White Christmas

this is gonna be my first fanfic so it might seem a bit dodgy. there is no smut (gotta protect our baby boy Niki (i still find it weird to read or write smut about him even if he's 18 now)). so....yeah😁

#first time writing #niki enhypen #don't know what to do #awkward moments caused by me and seen only by me #White Christmas!

[supercool-here]

ok so my brother in law couldn't make it in time to come home so now my sister is on her way to see him, and I was upset because I had pictured this weekend being with my sis and my bro in law and now I'm alone with dad (not that I don't like my dad) and so I unconsciously channeled my feelings into cleaning so I washed the dishes and washed some rags and wiped the counters and scraped the scum off the blender and yada yada and as I endeavored in cleaning I kind of broke a faucet and I realized just how dirty our house is, like on a surface level it might seem alright but then you sit on a couch and it's stained, you try to pick up the keys from the table and you notice the stains as well, and then you open the fridge and catch a weird smell, and then you open the microwave and it's dusty and a lil greasy too, and then you wash the dishes and there's scum underneath the frame of the sink and the counters are greasy near the stove and the extraction hood (that the word?) is also greasy and dusty and the blender has some weird scum as well that you have to scrape off, and the patio is a mess and the living room is dusty too and it all just seems fine on the surface because it does work and you can still ignore everything but truly there is disorder everywhere and it feels chaotic in a molecular level, there's tiny things like dust and crumbs and fluff and dog hairs and also hidden things like the grease and the useless things we keep in boxes and bags and I feel overwhelmed because I want to fix it all but I would need the help of my family and I know they wouldn't understand because it's so easy to just keep living as we've been doing since forever so why change anything now and plus they're tired and busy and worried with their adult lives, a hundred little messes is the least thing they would care about. And this is so frustrating because I know it is an extrapolation of our real lives, because I know there is disorder and bad decisions swept under a rug and we just keep having fun as if there weren't things to fix and I hate it and I just want to disappear for a while, and I've been feeling this way since I was six years old (not all the time but on occasions when I would notice a mess and that would lead to another and I would eventually see the whole messy picture and then I would shove it away in a mental closet for ignoring overwhelming stuff and I would do something else to distract me or I would just put it all on the adult's account thinking it was their responsibility to fix everything but now I'm twenty and I can't do that anymore because I should be capable of fixing things myself but I don't have the courage and I don't know what to do and my instinct is to ignore things as always but I can't)

#Don't read this if you don't want to participate in my current crisis #Crisis #overwhelming emotions #Don't know what to do #Personal #Triggering for overthinkers like me I guess #Overthinking #hypersensitivity

[messyjingles]

In a relationship with myself and I can still see drama

#my writing #spilled thoughts #Don't know what to do #Yesthisiswhatithink #Is there any way to peace

[feenja-wesker]

Hello Tumblr

I'm really busy on the internet, but tumblr really confuses me .__. i feel so lost here Like the new kid who changes schools in the middle of the year and doesn't know anyone.

#feel lost #don't know what to do #confused

[zephahhhh]

I want Severus

#severus snape #pro snape #my bs #this is the outcome of thoughts when there's too many emotions mixing together and the brain is thinking 1000 things at the same time #don't know what to do #just need sneep #he'll know what to do

[alexxisokay]

again and again

Nothings new. 

It doesn’t matter who it is,

That sinking feeling will 

Never go away. 

Not until I 

Drown. 

Again and again

#original poem #poetry #poem #slam poets on tumblr #short poem #poems and poetry #poets on tumblr #slam poetry #tumbler tusday #writers and poets #original post #orginal poetry #orginal work #nothing #nothing new #that sinking feeling #don't know what to do #anxitey #quiet #ink blots #spilled poetry #spilled ink #alexxisokay #alexxisokay poem #drown in my mind #sinking

[taegularities]

Ohsjdjdjrjdjdj rid! Jk!2($($($($(_( my soul was at peace for a moment but now it's jajdjsjdjdjdj

feeling so out of it...

#don't know what to do #notes for rid 🌹 #anon

[lesbianships]

I'm so anxious about my fanfic. I've created a mystery and set expectations.. I'm not sure what I have planned is good enough. Or good at all!

#gap the series #fafiction #writing #so nervous #don't know what to do